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#i hate that im the only one who has to behave
emmyrosee · 8 months
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You’ve been sneaking into Kenma’s room for years.
It started when you were very young, having left your gameboy at Kenma’s house after a few rounds of Mario. You managed to toss a few rocks at his window, and once he silently unlocked the door and let you in, you quickly scurried back out hours later with a grateful smile.
Then, you started to sneak through his window. Seeing the flashes of lights at god knows what hours was something you knew meant he was awake, and you’d climb out from your sheets and crossed the street to his place. Again, you’d throw rocks at his window, and when he’d tried to go open the door, he hadn’t expected you scale up the large tree just a few feet away.
Tonight was no different; he’s tapping away wildly on his console while you scurry up the tree in your slippers, smooshing your face against the glass when he finally sees you and opens the window.
You’d finally tumbled in, and he gave you a tired sigh, “you’re annoying.”
“And you’re still playing. I wanted to watch you play.”
“You could’ve just texted me. You left marks on my glass.”
“I needed the exercise. What time do you need me out of here?”
“Kuroo drags me by the ankle out of here by 06:30. Be out beforehand.”
You smirk and nudge his shoulder with yours, causing him to send you a glare before sitting back down on the floor. “Sleep on the bed, help yourself to pajamas.”
“You like him, kenma,” you tease. You see him tense up before he shakes his head.
“No,” he says simply. “I don’t. Not like that anyways.”
“Just not used to you having other friends besides me,” you hum. He huffs in annoyance.
“Are you gonna watch, or do I have to kick you out of my room?”
“Fine,” you sigh. “I’ll behave. Only because I hate climbing your tree.”
Kenma doesn’t like Kuroo. Honest! He thinks he’s cute, sure, gets why the girls like him and boys follow him around, he’s fine enough on a scale of emotional and physical attraction.
But Kuroo’s not the one Kenma’s eyes stay focused on. It’s you.
You’re funny, he likes the way you eat foods that you don’t like first, before diving into the favorites after to savor them. You’re cute, and you’re bad at the differences between contexts of words, and you have a little eye twitch that bestows you in a moment of quick thoughtfulness.
You don’t ask him why he’s up so late, you ask him the answers to homework and give him gummy worms as a thank you. You never overstay a welcome, always either leaving before the sun comes up, or staying quiet while you sleep on the bed.
He likes the way your eyes shine when you’re excited, the roll of your eyes when he tells you “no” when you want the answer to be “yes”, the little snickers that slip out at Kuroo’s expense at Kenma’s quick thinking.
“Kenma?”
“Im busy.”
“I want to cuddle.”
The way you want physical touch when you’re tired.
Yeah. As your best friend, he really is bias to that one.
With a groan, he pauses and saves his game under slot 3, shuts down the console before crawling up and into his bed next to you, the cold sheets shooting his nerves until they warm under your shared warmth. You bury your nose in his collar and he takes out his phone for you both to watch tiktok.
“Kenma?”
“Go to sleep.”
“When you marry Kuroo, can I be the ring bearer?”
“If i marry Kuroo, I want you far, far from my ceremony.”
He practically hears you pout, “you’re no fun.”
“I sure am not.”
For someone who has no fun, not one fun bone in his body, he’s amazed at how comfortable you are in his grip and he in yours, fingers fisting his nightshirt until his own eyes grow heavy.
And if Kuroo walked in just a few hours later at 06:30, only to see his best friend cuddling with someone he loves most, he didn’t say anything and closed the door softly behind him.
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kinokkotsu · 8 months
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Satisfied — Yuuta Okkotsu x Reader
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々 Today’s Music Recommendation: Dark Red By Steve Lacy
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A/N: im waiting for Mappa to finally give the jjk fan service to Yuta girlies.
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You have accepted the fact that Yuta has nothing for you.
He is such a sweet and innocent soul with a dedicated heart. You should accept the fact that he truly wants to focus on what he is doing right now or otherwise you’d be the bad person.
Your brain tells you — you’re selfish because your heart just wouldn’t stop the way you look at him so dearly nor stop the way you touch him so tenderly despite the fact that he is only second to Gojo Satoru. Besides he has vowed how his heart only belongs to Rika.
Somewhere along that sentence has shuttered your heart once.
You and him were close, extremely. Extremely to the point where you both easily sleep in each other’s room without breaking a guilt, no nasty or sexual behavior from that. Just as close friends.
Yuta only has you if Maki, Toge or Panda were away for a mission. You are always there to embrace his coldness and bare with it everytime he needs you. You study as a Jujutsu Medical Student to treat physical wounds of your patients but Yuta seems to believe you also have the ability to plaster his scars within his sensitive heart.
You enjoy the thing you have with him. Love doesn’t have to be this and that. You are satisfied with whatever you are sacrificing for him. You hope this would last forever but you know life doesn’t always go as planned.
Higher ranks have decided to send him overseas, and you don’t like where this has headed.
“that meeting was draining for sakes..,” Sighs Yuta who plots down on the bed, next to your warm body, after he has stood his sword against the wall.
Yuta groans in exhaustion while he stretches his legs like a child. He always acts like a kid every time he is back from those old people, though it would lying if you admit you hate him whining over tiny problems.
“You shouldn’t have gone there if you already figured what it is going to be about,” you state, feeling Yuta lean into the crook of your neck while embracing your body.
He nods in your neck before sighing and holding you closer. “I just thought I needed to,” he says.
Silence fills up the room as you both kept quiet for a long time. No one is really in the mood to talk apparently, with all these missions and all these patients dragging the two of you down. The physical touch is the only way to express the burden you both are having.
The crickets in the background rhyme each seconds, entertaining the night as it goes on. The hoots of the owls alarmed how the night has been late for the humans to not fall asleep but neither of you couldn’t seem to close your eyes from exhaustion.
“..i must have to wait such a long time for you to come back,” you start the conversation, pushing your head back as you stare at the ceiling blankly.
He nods, again. Not wanting to spit a word nor waste his leftover energy comforting you.
Yuta has never felt so guilty doing this with you. Lately he could feel himself getting nervous and worried whenever you come to meet him even especially if you are busy. In fact he has been craving your touch then he has ever had in the past, knowing he must leave you soon.
Rika might be his first love but he is convinced he has fallen in love once again. This time with you.
The way you touch him so tenderly as if he was as fragile as glass, The way you look at him so dearly that he could melt right in that place, everything you behave around him get him smiling like an immature child.
He knows how he is hurting you like this, how it must have been draining you to accept the fact that he feels nothing towards you when in reality it is all incorrect.
That is when Yuta back his face away from your neck and look at you, staring as your eyelids seem like they are about to shut down anytime soon. He stares as he continues detecting every inch of your face that is illuminated by the moonlight.
A countdown goes on his mind for a good while till your eyes completely close.
“take care..of yourself, silly” he whispers while he brushed the dark circles under your eyes. You have fallen asleep already and he knows it. You are a heavy sleeper, and that is one fact about you that he thinks is cute.
Jujutsu Sorcerers are not ones to be fortunate when falling in love. He knows if he did, one of their lives could end tragically due to how cruel the world can be. Keeping the problem folded is better than unfolding the problem before it leaves you miserable for life. He knows you are in love with him and he shamelessly admits he is a coward for letting himself avoid these problems.
The energy that remains in his body is about to run out yet he could not stop stealing glimpses of you.
He lets out one last sigh for the day before he gives a quick peck on your cheeks and smiles. He quickly pushes himself to the top as he embraces your head in his arms. Glancing over the top of your head before letting himself join the night with you.
Staying in the presence with you like this keeps him satisfied even if everything around him has turned into dust.
Just you and him against this ruthless world.
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Reblogs and comments are really appreciated xoxo
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pedrithink · 11 months
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delicate ✩ jude bellingham
about: the massive hate you are getting on internet and the way jude stood by you, supporting you.
couple: jude bellingham x reader! singer
request: hey babyyyy! what do u think about a jude x reader (maybe olivia rodrigo fc) ?? xxx love u
face claim: olivia rodrigo
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NOW: Jude’s Bellingham talks ‘Real Madrid’, His first World Cup’s impressions & His favorite Y/N’s songs.
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comments ⬇️
user1 he’s so perfect 🥹 yn and him seemed like soulmates
user2 I REMEMBERED WHEN YN POINTED AT JUDE DURING GORGEOUS AND HE TOOK A PHOTO AND SHE WAS ALL GIGGLY
user3 yn once said “you’re so gorgeous, it actually hurts” and “they say home is where the heart is, but that's not where mine lives. you know I love a london boy.”
user4 @user3 im yn
user5 imagine being jude bellingham and having yn write her best love songs and best title tracks about you a DREAM
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judebellingham has added to their story
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ynusername
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Liked by judebellingham, selenagomez, and 5.682.972 others
ynusername vampire song and video out now 🧛🏼. writing this song helped me sort through lots of feelings of regret, anger, and heartache. it's one of my favorite songs on the album and it felt very cathartic to finish. im so happy it's in your hands now and I hope it helps u deal with any bloodsuckers in your lite. all my thanks 4ever 🫶🏻
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judebellingham proud of you, vampie 🧛🏼🩸🥹🫶🏻
ynusername @judebellingham love u babs
user1 vampire is one of the best songs ever
user2 another song about another ex 🥱🙄
user3 @user2 literally let people write out their feelings or WHATEVER they want. obviously yall can only attack women for this tho...
user4 people calling yn boring or overrated for writing songs about her ex does not sit right w me …. like let her write about whatever she wants?? she’s 20??? all singers have songs about their ex’s???? stfu
user5 @user4 SPEAK. ON. IT
user6 "yn makes too much songs ab her ex" "all she write is break up songs, she’s so obsessed"
ok then stop listening to her songs 🤷🏻‍♀️
user7 whaaaaat 😭 why are there so many people mad that yn wrote some songs about her ex. meanwhile, there are men who only write songs about fucking hoes and using drugs and yet they still get praised for it 🥱
judebellingham
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Liked by ynusername, masonmount, and 7.899.082 others
judebellingham date night with vampie to celebrate all of her achievements, proud of u ❤️‍🩹
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ynusername 🧛🏻‍♀️🩸❤️‍🩹🧛🏼
user8 JUDE CALLING YN VAMPIE >>>>
user9 i hope i find someone who supports me the way jude supports yn
user10 ill always be soft for these two. its amazing how jude supports yn in any way he can and yn never forgets to save jude a seat. fucking POWER COUPLE!!!
user11 @user10 i just love them
user12 lets talk about the fact that at the 2020 grammys she didn’t feel like there was someone to celebrate with and now she has one and he helps her and supports her and take her on dates when she achieves more and more in her singing career 🥹
user13 yn and jude be like: happiest relationship of my life, so let’s go cheer for my breakup songs together 💕💞💓💗💖💘
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ynusername
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Liked by judebellingham, arianagrande, and 10.927.526 others
ynusername delicate is out now 🫧 surprise song for y’all, hope u like it 🫶🏻
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user14 delicate video really speaks to me. yn let go of the world's expectations of how she should act, smile and behave. once she did that, she was able to find who she was looking for. i’m shaking and crying, so so proud of our baby!!!!
user15 @user14 it’s already my favorite music video of her!!!! i love the lyrics 2
user16 these pics were taking by jude i’m CRYING and the lyrics… I JUST LOVE HIM EVEN MORE
user17 @user16 yeah 🥹 i’m so happy that she found someone that makes her feel like that
user18 delicate is one of the most beautiful songs yn has ever written, it’s so GENUINE.
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pinkpossession · 1 year
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𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙪𝙥 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙
This post might be all over the place since this literally just came to my mind, but like I promise it'll sorta make sense. For background context on how I came to this realization/understanding, I was texting and flirting with my sp like I usually do, then randomly I was like "What if they didn't like what I just said". Not gonna lie I was nervous asf but when I finally checked her text the response wasn't necessarily good or bad, WHICH ALSO UPSET ME CAUSE IM A PRISSY BITCH WHO WANTS GODDESS TREATMENT 24/7!! I reminisced on this for a bit, then suddenly I was like, "omg wtf am I doing? I'm literally a god." Then just set the intention that my sp would always respond how I wanted. I kept thinking about it, cause the scenario really made me doubt myself. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, my brain was like "Bitch, the 3D ain't even real, just imagine some shit that you actually want". I KNOW IT'S OBVIOUS!!! ALL ANYONE TALKS ABOUT HERE IS HOW THE 4D IS THE ONLY REAL REALITY!! But for some reason this time, it's way different. Like, no matter if I think they hate me, think I look like a roach that just crawled out of the sewer, etc., I can still have them be absolutely obsessed with me cause I'm in control of my reality and what they think. Like, literally, no matter what this person is just reflecting what I'm manifesting for them to think, if I simply decide for them to act differently and think differently, it'll happen. No one has "free will" in our realities at all, so why do we worry about people not behaving the way we want them to? It's not like they won't conform?? This is just a sign/message that you are the only one in control here. The ball is literally in your court. It's ok to have doubts (especially if you say they don't affect you), but remember that nothing can happen without you. It always starts and ends with you.
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helplesslypurple77 · 8 months
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Day 13- Step Bro!Dazai/Reader/Step Bro!Fyodor
Notes: I think it's a little ooc, but i really couldn't decide which characters to go with so yeah.
also, uhm, that fyodor header picture has nothing to do with the actual story, i just though he looked so fucking hot with that gun(also yes, ik im using the step silbing/dad concept twice but its just so sexy to me yaknow*)(*and also, if your wondering, i actually have a wonderful relationship with my father)
Ever since you can remember the house had been cold. You didn't call it your house, even though you had lived there all your life. No, it was more akin to a creature unto itself, a perfect reflection of your childhood. You were born in this house, the only child Mother, or Cecilia as she insisted upon, didn't abort. You spent your younger years with a nanny, who cared for you the best she could. She taught you to read and write, and you excelled especially at math. But Cecilia didn't care. She never cared. And the house reflected her disinterest.
The nanny, a kind woman named Martha, had been disposed of when you turned eight. Cecilia decided you were old enough to function on your own and fired the waste of money. You spent your years after that in the library, absorbing information, reading fanciful stories with mothers who loved their daughters. You wondered why Cecilia never loved you. 
When you turned ten, Cecilia brought home a man. She introduced you, and you stood like instructed, pretty and well behaved. He patted you on the head, but never spared you a glance. He was tall, blond and very, very young. Much younger than Cecilia. And he was much too enamored to care for you, Cecilia's little child. Cecilia encouraged this behavior, and although the number of people in the house had grown, you were all alone. You were always alone. But it was ok, you were used to the silence. You sat in your large playroom, and cried into your pillow, muffling your feelings in the silk. Cecilia didn't need your burdensome feelings. 
The summer you turned eleven, Cecilia brought another man home. And this man was kind to you at first. He gave you candy and treated you with kindness, luring you into his trap like a spider. The first time he hit you, you had cried defiantly for Cecilia. And of course Cecilia had not come, for she would rather believe her boytoys over her own flesh and blood. Humans were cruel things, ready to hurt others at the drop of a hat. And Cecilia was the cruelest. Nothing comforted you for ounce as you cried into your comforter, as unloved as before. 
The summer you turned fifteen it was clear you had inherited Cecilia's peerless beauty. You spent the rest of the summer mastering makeup and when you arrived at your private school you were instantly popular. The makeup just elevated your already peerless beauty and people, both boys and girls fell at your feet. You reveled in the popularity, the love. A different kind of love, but love all the same. The house congratulated you, but Cecilia didn't care. She never did, after all.
Your grades never fell however, you simply could not let them. If you were proud of anything, it was your intelligence. It was wholly yours, unlike your beauty, inherited from Cecilia. You hated that you were her creation, hated it with your entire very being. You loved your intelligence, however. It came from your father, you were told briefly by Cecilia, and because you had never met him it was easier to accept his qualities. The house was from your father, his money at least. A gift to Cecilia. 
And the one gift he had ever gotten you was a ring, a gorgeous piece of silver and emeralds that Cecilia had taken, stoll right from your pudgy two year old hands. You had never even gotten to hold it as an adult. You didn't miss it, not really. But you hated the trait you shared with Cecilia, a sense of selfishness, and a love for jewelry. 
 It was on your sixteenth birthday, sitting at a table alone as you were blowing out the birthday candles, that you truly cried without the comfort of your pillows. Cecilia was out, and as you eat your cake, you soon come to realize that you had grown up too fast. You had been an adult since the moment Martha was fired and you had sat in the cold walls of your beige playroom, crying and crying for comfort, something that would never find you again. You were a shell, a puppet, a beautiful china doll empty of  love. You were Cecilia. The house laughed at your plight, as you sobbed into your pillow, muffling your feelings into the comforting silk. 
It was a hot summer day, a few weeks after you turned seventeen when Cecilia broke the news. You were sitting by the pool, sunbathing in your swimsuit. Cecilia simply walked in, spared you a glance, and informed you she was getting married. You felt a small shiver of surprise run up your spine. Cecilia had had many boyfriends, yes, but she never married them. This man had to be different. Or maybe it was her age, and her fading looks. You hated the spike of happiness that pillaged though your heart, you hated how feelings of hatred turned you into a spiteful shrew, just like Cecilia. Cecilia had cracked open a beer, flipping through her magazine, sparing you one last glance. “He has sons, two of them.” She had said, closing the screen door behind her. 
⋆。 °✩
“There you are, Name. You're late.” Cecilia said, giving you her usual faintly disapproving stare mixed with disgust. You still quail under it, even though it's the same one you’ve seen for years and years and years. You still fear her disapproval, even after all. 
“I'm sorry Cecilia.” You say, straightening your spine. You're still in your school uniform, and the bus was late but you know better than to give excuses. Cecilia doesn't care for those. The little skirt and blazer combo is one of your favorites, and the only thing you truly love about St. Catherine's private school for young ladies. The walls of St Catherines are barren and cold, but not as cold as your own. Cecilia flips her hair, looking perfectly put together as always, although her age is beginning to show around her eyes. She hates it, you know, and you love it. You can't wait for Cecilia to wither away, her personal worst nightmare. 
“Don't embarrass me, Name.” Cecilia says, her cold eyed stair rooting you to your place. “Just smile pleasantly and entertain your step brothers, alright Sweetheart?” She says. The pet name reeks of disinterest but her disinterest is preferable to her anger. For when Cecilia angers the foundations of the very house shake. You nod, and Cecilia takes that as enough. A knock sounds on the door, and any ugly expression is gone from her face as she flies for the door, opening it and hopping into the arms of the man behind it. 
He’s your mothers usual type, tall and handsome, but several years older than you would have guessed. He spins her around, and they kiss. You look away. There are two boys standing behind him on the doorstep, and to your surprise they also look away from the torrid display. Their strange boys, both around the same height, but that is the only thing they share in common. They don't even really look related, but who are you to judge? Done with their display, Cecilia and her new husband step through the door, still attached at the hip. Cecilia throws you a glare, and you put on your customary smile, a smile so fake you feel like a barbie doll. 
“My daughter, Name.” Cecilia almost imperceptibly grimaces at the word daughter, gesturing at you. You smile. “Hello.” You say, feeling like a fake. The man gives you a smile, gesturing at his sons, who have stepped through the door, and now stand on either side of him and Cecilia. “My sons, Fyodor and Osamu.” The one on the right smiles at you, the other one simply gives you a nod. They're so different, you’d almost think them adopted. But you can see their features in their father. 
The smiling one, Osamu, has short wavy brown hair and sparkling brown eyes. He gives you a tiny wave, and you feel your smile become genuine for a second, before you catch yourself. The ones who smile are more dangerous, you had learned long ago. They lure you with kindness and hit you with force. He’s dressed in a wrinkled button down and uniform pants, his posture casual with his hands in his pockets. A matching tie hangs crooked on his neck. It's the uniform for your school, or the boys school across the street. St. Catherines school for young ladies and St. Andrews school for young men share a single campus separated by a metal fence. 
The one on the left side is pale, almost sickly pale, with dark circles to match his long dark hair. It looks soft, his hair, and brushes just below his jaw. H’s eyes are dark, and they run over your face, almost as if they're checking for cracks in your composure. He’s dressed in the same uniform, but his appearance is more neat. His tie is tied correctly, and he wears a black jacket over the rest of his uniform. They are strange boys, but you are very used to strange after all. 
“Name? Entertain your new brothers, Sweetheart.” Cecilia says. You wince at the nickname. You hate that nickname, you hate it so much. “Yes Cecilia.” You bite out, smile still in place. You feel empty, like a porcelain doll. A tool Cecilia can use and discard at any moment. You feel disposable. You hate it. 
⋆。 °✩
Your new brothers are kind, if a little strange. The quiet one with pretty hair, Fyodor, is a year older than you. He plays cello and dislikes Cecilia, which makes you like him a lot. Fyodor treated you with an amount of distance at first, but slowly warmed up to you when he found out you play piano. He had informed you one day, when he was helping you with homework, that his mother was a Russian supermodel. And he’s handsome, you're not really surprised. He’s kind in a quiet kind of way, less teasing than his younger brother. You also notice how he subtly moves forward, shielding you whenever Cecilia is angry. You love him for it, that protectiveness. 
Osamu is younger than you by about six months, and loud. He quite clearly makes it his goal to be the loudest person in the room and you love how it annoys Cecilia every time he steals her thunder. He’s a very touchy person as well, unlike his brother. He would comfort you with jokes when he saw you were down, and could not cook for the life of him. His reaction to Cecilia was the most reactionary. He taunted her, shot smart alec remarks in her direction, or just plain ignored her. And every time he got a reaction. Cecilia’s face would flush red with anger, and she would strike out, just to be dodged with a snarky little comment. And the more angry she got, the more pleased Osamu became
And they hate each other, the brothers. At first you had thought they got along well, but then you noticed the snarky little comments they would trade back and forth, the glares behind their parents back. Everything is a constant competition, be it a board game or report cards they make it their goal to beat the other each time. And you don't really mind, the house feels warm and full of life, and you feel included. To them, life seems a game, and the people who live it merely pieces, to be moved to and fro to their pleasure. You must assume yourself a spectator, not a piece, but if you were a piece you would like to be the queen. Cecilia didn't like your new brothers, that much was obvious. But she still used them to belittle you every chance she got.  
“Your brothers got all A+.” She would say, pinning you with that faintly disgusted expression she used as default. “And you got an A.” You would surrender to your room to cry in peace, away from Cecilia's proud eyes, and the prying ears of your much to perceptive brothers. 
But if they shared anything, it was a sense of mystery. Because each of them never allowed you to get too close, keeping you forever just a length away. You tried not to take it personally, but you still shed a tear or two. 
But for the first time in many years, you were happy. The house congratulated you, as its hallways filled with laughter to replace to silence, its rooms with color to replace the beige. Cecilia was as unpleasant as ever, but she was busy with her husband, and left you and your step brothers to their own devices. But still you feared it would all go away. That soon, they would tire of you, that they would never let you close, that Cecilia would grow tired of her husband and toss out the trash as she always did. It was a nagging fear that came back to haunt you in dreams, until you woke up in a cold sweat. 
And there's an odd tension that hovers in the air, whenever you and the brothers interact. A strange tension that makes your blood sing with excitement, that leaves you on your toes with anticipation. When Osamu slings his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into a loose hug of sorts. When Fyodor pulls your hair behind your ear, his cold fingers brushing your face, leaving goosebumps in their wake. It's a tension you’ve felt before, a tension you don't want to give name to, a tension that scares you. But then, you're sure it's just you, that your new brothers simply treat you as a sister, like how you should treat them. You should not desire your step brothers, Cecilia had told you the night before they moved in. But then again, Cecilia had never been a very good role model. 
⋆。 °✩
It's raining, big fat drops pattering against the roof, wind splattering the droplets against the window panes. A faint clatter can be heard from outside, as if the wind itself is crying, banging at the doors. The wind sounded lonely. It banged on the doors of the world, begging to be let into the light, much like you had when you were young. You wanted to comfort the wind, to hold her in your arms with the warmth you had never been given, but everyone knew you could not hold the wind. So you simply told her to stay strong, and let the night and rain embrace her for you. 
You would always read when it rained. You remembered a book you had read long ago. It had been the one to solidify the wind as lonely, and had been oh so impressionable to your young mind. ‘Keep strong wind’ it read, ‘keep strong and soon the rain and night will hold you in their comforting embrace, will keep you warm and happy…’. You had always seen yourself in the lonely wind, and had dreamed of your rain and night to comfort you. The library had long been your only comfort, and you begged for human comfort, human warmth.(You didn't dare to hope that your step brothers could be your night and rain, because you knew god would hear you and laugh in your face. Because god loved Cecilia, not worthless you.)
Cecilia and her husband are gone, on a weekend trip to Hawaii. You were not invited, because of course not, and neither were your brothers. 
The house is almost silentand with Osamu out at book club the house seems to sigh in relief, giving itself time to relax before the loudness returns. 
You are curled up on the couch with a book, listening to Fyodor as he practices his Cello. It's a cozy evening, the fire crackling in the grate, the strains of the first movements of Brahms – Cello Sonata No. 1 floating through the cozy atmosphere. You hear the piano part along with him unconsciously, fingers tapping your things in rhythm. You can never quite beat the musician out of you, it's embedded into your very being at this point. 
Brahms – Cello Sonata No. 1, the first movement is a deep piece, and slightly depressing if you're being honest. But you love the melancholy that surrounds it. It creates a certain air, allowing the instruments to tangle together beautifully almost as if the melodies are dancing together. They twist like lovers, the parts, dipping one then the other, a beautifully teasing medley of pure emotion, something you could never truly give in life. It would be nice to dance with Fyodor, he was such an elegant human being, from the way he walked to his looks. You imagined the two of you would sail across the floor of the ballroom, his gloved hand on your waist, twirling you and spinning you and only looking at you. You wanted him to gaze upon you with reverence, much like the men your mother married gazed upon her. You want to be loved.
The Cello part comes to an end, and you sit silently for a moment, hesitant to break the spell. Then Fyodor's accented voice, still slightly hushed, breaks through the atmosphere. “How was it?” He says. You love his accent, it feels all full and warm. “Good, good as always.” You say, putting a finger in your book and looking up. “You were a bit sharp on the first note of measure twenty seven.” You're reading Pride and Prejudice, again. You’ve always loved it, and have read it some many times you’ve simply lost count.
Fyodor sighs, leaning back in his chair and resting his cello back into its case. “You always catch my mistakes. What would I do without you, Name.” He says with a small smile. Your heart warms at the praise, your smile threatening to break out of its confinements, all together and split your face in two. You tamp it down, putting on a face of disinterest you're not sure he believes. You always get the vague feeling that your brothers know you better than you know yourself.
You flip through the channels on tv, happy to have control of the remote. It's all the usual, sports games and real housewives and spanish game show episodes. You put on a random movie, which sounded interesting. ‘Essential object of enjoyment,’(is a title that to anyone else would scream softcore porn film, to you, still a sheltered girl of seventeen years old, it seemed as innocent as a daisy. You were not a virgin, but inexperienced and somewhat oblivious, so at odds with your calm adult attitude.) Fyodor plops himself on the couch next to you, a tedious foot away. He seemed too far away but all at once to close, the heat of his body a tease beside you. You clench your legs together, pulling in on yourself.
The film is about a young woman named Maria, who is taking a vacation on a very sketchy manor in a strange small town. It's a low budget film, with crappy acting and even crappier scares, but it's entertaining and you find yourself settling in against the couch, slowly leaning closer and closer to the warm human beside you. And soon, as Maria decides to ignore all the advice of the locals and enter the abandoned church late at night, you're so close your shoulders are almost touching, and finally, you dare to lean into him. 
He lets you, slinging an arm around your shoulders with an excuse none of you are listening to anyway, and pulls a small blanket over your bare legs. “You're cold aren't you?” he says, voice hushed in your ear. You shiver, with a nod. You arent that cold, but you want to be close to him, to feel his heat, his warmth. You're sure he knows this, and you let yourself feel hopeful for once, curling into his body like a pedigree cat. 
And as you watch the movie, heart pounding in your throat, it dawns on you that something is very clearly wrong. The budget is too cheap, but the camera work is too advanced, the camera’s to expensive. The acting is too bad, but the actress has professionally done makeup and hair. And then, as you watch Maria get tied up by the clean masked man, it all makes too much sense. It's softcore porn. You move for the remote, fishing around for it on the couch, desperately. You're already flushing, your thighs rubbing together as you reach around for it. The idea of watching a porn film with your step brother is humiliating and embarrassing and frustratingly arousing. 
“Do you need something?” Fyodor says, rubbing little soft patterns in your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. You nod. “The remote, gonna switch channels.” You're already flushing, but have stopped your frantic fishing for the remote. He frowns in disappointment and you automatically tense, so used to Cecilia’s disappointed or angry stares. “Can we leave it, I'm actually enjoying it.” He says. You glance at the screen, where Maria is now being threatened by a knife. You desperately want to say no, but the people pleaser in you insist you agree. And so, you sink back into his touch, flushing. 
‘Where is it? Where is it?’ The masked man is saying to Maria. The film takes a moment to focus on the actress’s bountiful chest, and you try not to writhe with embarrassment and jealousy. You bet Fyodor likes big boobs, Cecilia said all men like big boobs. Her’s are fake, but you don't feel the need to protest and get a slap. 
The bad guy of the film is a man in a purple mask. He’s thin in stature, and tall, overwhelming Maria’s small frame. He reminds you distinctly of the man sitting beside you, with his face hidden like that. He has a russian accent in the film as well, just like the man beside you, and as he whispers in her ear it does stuff to you. 
‘Tell me where it is or there will be consequences.’ the man in the mask says. 
‘I will never tell you!’ Maria says definitely. You watch in horror as the masked man's thin fingers slip between her thighs. The camera cuts to her face of surprise. It's clear that this is where the actress’s true chops shine, as her mouth drops open in a little oh of surprise. 
You feel hot, biting back a whimper as you press your thighs together, hoping that your step brother doesn't notice. 
‘Your such a slut for my fingers aren't you?’ The man in the mask bends Maria over a table, the camera now showing a cut of his hands pulling her thighs apart. All you can picture in your mind is you as Maria, and the man in the mask as Fyodor. When the man in the film speaks all you can hear is Fyodor’s voice, his teasing lines, him all him all him. 
And then, the other bad guy of the film appears. And honestly it should shock you out of your dirty fantasies, but the other man, this one in a teal mask, sounds very similar to your other step brother. 
You can imagine yourself in Maria's place, bent over a table like that, fingers shoved up your cunt, dick keeping you silent. And most of all, pretty praises falling out of your step brother's mouths. ‘Such a pretty girl, such a smart girl, so good for us, such a slut for us—’
Fyodor’s eyes are on you, you can feel them even as you focus resolutely on the screen. He speaks near your ear, a pur, a whisper, a tease ment for seduction. “What are you imagining, darling?” He says. He speaks like he already knows, and through your haze of arousal clouding your brain you let the words escape before you can stop them. 
“Fingers in my cunt.” You say, your voice a whimper. Maria on the screen begins to moan, loudly. The volume goes down on screen and you're too lust clouded to question why Fyodor had the remote. 
“You want fingers in your pretty cunt baby?” Fyodor purrs in your ear, his long pale fingers teasing the edge of your uniform skirt. “You want my fingers stuffed up that tight cunt of yours? Would that feel good?” You whine, head falling back against his arm, eyes falling closed. 
“Oh yes, please.” Your voice is embarrassing, all breathy and whiny. This whole situation is illogical, and if you were able to see through the haze of lust in your brain you would have backpedaled immediately. But you're horny and in love and he’s encouraging you. 
His fingers caress the edge of your panties, teasing you with glances of touches, driving you crazy. You grip his arm, the one teasing your pussy and shove the hand against your drooling cunt. The man beside you bites back a groan, muffling his pleasure, but you hear it. It reassures you that he wants you too, but also drives you insane, craving sweet relief with his touch. 
Fyodor’s fingers find purchase, clever musicians' hands pulling back the crotch of your panties. He chuckles as you clutch his arm, still clothed in his loose white turtleneck and jeans. “You're so wet darling, your little cunt is absolutely drooling.” he says, his accent doing things to your brain, to your pussy. Your eyes catch on the dirty picture. He drags his fingers through, collecting a fair bit of wetness and popping his fingers in his mouth. The picture is nasty. He keeps eye contact all throughout, sucking his fingers wetly, the dirty slurping sounds filling the room. 
“Here darling.” He holds out his wet fingers, dripping with a mix of saliva and your own arousal. “Suck.” He says. You take them in your mouth obediently, tasting the mix of arousal and saliva. The very idea that you're tasting him, that you're tasting his very being, makes your abandoned cunt clench around nothing, the nasty slurping sounds you make only fueling the arousal perfuming the air. At some point Fyodor had turned off the porn, and now the only sounds that fill the room are from the two of you. A different kind of music than that you're used to, a symphony of debauchery. 
His fingers leave your mouth with a pop, and you open your eyes. He smiles at you, all hazy eyes and spit slicked lips. “Good girl.” He says, and then shoves both fingers in your cunt. You arch off the couch at the abrupt intrusion, clenching down hard around his fingers with a scream. ‘Oh, oh god Fyodor!” You say, panting. He looks vaguely proud as he scissors you open, watching as you thrash around on his fingers, bucking desperately. 
The sound of the door slamming penetrates the haze, and you grip Fyodor’s fingers, trying to stop him. He just continues to fuck you open, grining all the while. 
“Man, fuck you Fyodor.” It's Osamu, looking less surprised and more annoyed. Fyodor just continues grinning as you moan on his fingers, drooling pussy on display. “I consider this a win then?” He says, smirking. Ah, another one of their competitions. You would pay more attention but your being fucked open by Fyodor’s long relentless fingers. You keen as he adds another one, gripping his arm with a nasty whine. 
Osamu speaks to Fyodor, but his eyes are fixed on you. “It's not over yet, you fucker.” He says, slamming his backpack down on the floor and sauntering over to you. “Name declares the winner. Deal?” Fyodor, now rubbing a thumb on your clit nods, holding out his other hand to shake. “Deal, that sound good darling?” You nod around your moans, not truly comprehending what that means. Osamu sends you a rather scary looking grin and pounces. 
They move you into a doggy position first, Fyodor replacing his fingers with his cock. You're already so close, and as you feel the large intrusion bully your walls apart you cum right there, your head falling against the couch cushions. “Oh, oh, oh god, ‘m coming!” You scream, drooling onto the couch. Fyodor grunts behind you. “You're tight.” He coos. Osamu grips your jaw, draggin you off the ouch to look at him. “So pretty too, just perfect aren't you.” His dick is already hard in his jeans, you can see the bulge as Fyodor begins to move, fucking you through the overstime. You whine in pain, the sharp pains of overstimulation mixing with the blinding pleasure they give you. Dazai chuckles. 
“We’re going to fuck you do good darling.” He says, running a gentle hand through your hair. “Make you feel our love.”
⋆。 °✩
It's when you're three orgasms deep, and you're hung over the couch backwards, a dick down your throat and cum dripping from your pussy, that you maybe start to have second thoughts. Their stamina seems endless, and they bring to the edge relentlessly, their competitive natures making them drive you to orgasm after orgasm. The world is hazy at this point, and all you feel is pleasure, all you hear is their voices, all you want is them, them them. 
“Switch her around Osamu.” Fyodor says, his accent rough though the haze. You feel yourself hoisted up, and now you're folded into a mating press and Fyodor’s fat cock is bullying your walls again. Cum leaks out of all your holes, the loud squelching sound letting you know that you're thoroughly ruining Cecilia's favorite couch. You're covered in sweat, completely naked and makeup ruined, and to the boys you’ve never looked so pretty. They tell you at length, compliments showered on your exhausted form. 
And as you cum yet again, clenching around Fyodor’s dick with a weak cry, you feel so loved, so appreciated, and so optimistic. 
And then you bended into another position, Dazai’s dick lodged into your ass, Fyodor’s in your dripping cunt.
⋆。 °✩
“So, which of us won anyway?” It's Dazai, and he sounds plenty exhausted. You sigh tiredly, holes dripping cum onto the carpet and exhausted. “Draw.” Is all you manage to pant out. 
Fyodor beside you chuckles. “I guess we’ll have to have a rematch then.” You're exhausted, but you feel your pussy clench tiredly at the mention of that. “Yeah.” You sigh out tiredly. The boys chuckle beside you, each pressing a kiss to your cheeks. 
“Love you Name.” You hear them whisper in your ear. You smile as you drift off the sleep. 
End Notes: I am actually a piano player, and every time I listen to classical pieces nowadays I feel really bad because I haven't been practicing lately because my piano teacher is taking a break because she had a baby. 
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anime-fan-05 · 3 months
Note
im in love with your account 😭🫶🏻 can i ask nana's boys when they are in love/have a crush but you're not dating yet? :3
Nana ~With their crush~
Manga/anime: Nana
Warnings: nothing
(Y/N): your name
T. Nobuo (Nobu)
He's definitely the one who shows his crush on you the most
Indeed, every time he's in your company, he blushes a lot and tries to make you notice him, although he often ends up making a fool of himself
Plus, he always goes out of his way to make you smile, even if it means getting hurt or humiliated
For example, one day you were sad due to a harsh insult on your social profile; he started making jokes, but, after seeing you weren't feeling better, he softened his tone and sweetly listed everything he loved about you
In short, it's truly clear he's totally in love with you; the point is he doesn't realize it and, when he confesses to you, he'll be amazed you already knew his feelings!
O. Shin'ichi (Shin)
It's more likely others will notice before you he has a crush on you
In fact, he doesn't openly demonstrate he has feelings for you: he apparently doesn't talk to you and treat you differently from everyone else, he doesn't give you more time than he gives to his band members, he doesn't give you gifts except for your birthday...
In short, his feelings are almost unrecognizable to you
However, to outside eyes it's more than obvious what he feels
Indeed, his eyes soften as he looks at you, he's always ready to catch you if you should fall and he makes very small gestures for you which pass off as friendship gestures, such as serving you the dish first during lunch or dinner or, when he cooks (at BLAST's retreats or at dinners or lunches with friends), avoiding everything you don't like
T. Yasushi (Yasu)
Like Shin, it's very likely you don't notice his crush on you
He also doesn't behave differently towards you than towards others, but his signals, although still imperceptible, are less notables than those of Shin
For example, if you need help, even if this happens in the middle of the night, he'll rush to you, masking his apprehension thanks to his responsible nature
Another gesture, which he's capable of disguising, is taking care of you when you're sick
One day, in fact, he stayed with you all day, since you had a fever, and he refused to leave your house until you were better ("Yasu, what about your work?" "Don't worry about that, just think about getting well.")
H. Ren
Do you know the typical story of the popular boy who, in love with a girl, courts her by making fun of her so much she thinks he hates her, but in the end he proves to be the sweetest person in the world with her?
Well, that's how Ren is
He's truly a mystery to you: he's a mix between a tease and a very sweet boy
For example, one day he had teased you quite cruelly, almost making you burst into tears; the next day, having noticed how you avoided him like the plague, he came to you and consoled you sweetly
In the end, he's just a shy and insecure guy trying in his own way to get you to notice him
I. Takumi
You'll never know what he feels: he behaves with you totally as he does with everyone he knows
No one was, is and will be able to notice his feelings in any way, least of all you
However, there's only one event, since he's had a crush on you, where he demonstrated those: one evening, while you were at a dinner with Trapnest, a boy had tried to flirt with you; Takumi had gotten so jealous he almost fought with him, if it hadn't been for you, who hugged him tightly, begging him to stop
By the way, when you remind him of that event, he ignores you and walks away (so you can't see his red face for showing you his feelings)
It'll truly be a wonderful surprise for you when he confesses to you!
💮 Rules 💮 Masterlist 💮
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i-cant-sing · 1 year
Note
Whispers in your ear like a devil on your shoulder: you should make the Miguel O'Hara scenarios. Think of the hot dad energy he would emanate :))))))
Jokes aside, it is truly up to you what to write and I would always read it, but I am begging on my hands and knees for you to tell us the platonic yandere Miguel O'Hara scenarios you have thought of.
Nooo stooopppp girll- *puts on Miguel's theme music in the background* ahh shit here we go.
Platonic Yandere Miguel O'Hara as a dad:
Okay, so im just gonna word vomit here and yall make sense of it, but like the first thing that comes to mind when I think about yandere dad Miguel is that him kidnapping daughter reader from a universe where he doesn't exist, so he's technically not breaking canon or whatever and really, it doesnt even matter if you're his bio kid or not, like u could be a literal random civilian but if he is drawn to u, then he is. And while some of yall say "oh come on, Miguel cant be like that. He doesn't make careless/thoughtless decisions like that" I'm sorry, but is this not the same person who had the nerve to step in as his dead self from an AU and sleep with his parallel universe's wife and father someone else's kid??? Granted, they did end up dying but really, the only difference between that decision and this decision to kidnap u is to make sure that u don't end up dyingggg.
Moving on, he kidnaps u, makes up some bs about your life being in danger and blah blah blah, you HAVE to stay by his side, okay??? And at first, reader is like "umm okay?" because who tf wouldnt agree with SPIDERMAN??? (especially one who looks like Miguel? he is already giving dad vibes)
And the thing with Miguel is that he super protective (because PTSD) and he's possessive too, so the only person you're allowed to hang out with is Mayday (she is the cutest, i would die to have a kid like her ngl) because he doesnt see her as a threat (someone who could take u away from him). ABSOLUTELY NO CONTACT with Miles (because he hates that kid, pain in his ass/bane of his existence) and pretty much all other spiderpersons as well because all of them are sarcastic and he does not need them rubbing off on u. The only other person he would trust u with is Peter B, probably when Miguel needs a babysitter (because u learned to mess with his tech-typy-locks and traps, so u need an actual person to keep eyes on u. curse the universe for u being smart like ur papa), and the biggest reason he does trust peter with u is because since peter is a father himself, he would definitely know that while miguel's methods are wrong, in his own way, he is protecting u, and peter b knows that he would do absolutely anything to keep his daughter safe too. Also- since peter has mayday, if he were to actually take u away from Miguel, then Miguel would 10000% kidnap mayday and use her against peter too until he inevitably has to return u to him.
Now Miguel is emotionally crippled due to his trauma, so he's not great at expressing his feelings, at least not when you're awake. When you're asleep, maybe his eyes turn a little softer, maybe he cups your cheek, some guilt and sadness swirling in his eyes when he sees your tear stained cheek (because u missed ur family. or maybe u got told off by Miguel in front of everyone), presses a soft kiss to your forehead and mumbles something in spanish ("you will understand in due time, mi hija.") Definitely has cameras in your room, so he looks at you through the screen and sighs when u flop on the bed and stuff your head in the pillow and start crying, heart slightly heavy with guilt.
Except from interacting with others and leaving the spider society/his apartment (idk where he lives), every need of yours is pretty much taken care of IF you follow his rules. If you behave, u get everything. If u yell at him, try to break out of his place etc, privileges are revoked and BAM, you are now confined to your room with no access to entertainment or any of your hobbies he allowed u to have. Those novels u liked to read? Too bad, they get thrown in the fireplace. Gaming console? Broken in his hands. Liked to cook/bake? No access to kitchen because u are now locked in your room.
Miguel has one important rule- you MUST obey him, under all circumstances, no questions asked. If he tells you to go to your room, honey go before his eyes turn sharp and he has to manhandle you. If he tells you to eat dinner with him, you need to eat food even if you are full. And if he's forbidden you from going to the locked room in his place that's full of info on you and your old fam, then its best for everyone for u to obey.
Now, while Miguel does have trouble expressing emotions (i mean, the most affection he's shown is head pats and if u are really really sad, then yes, smooches on the forehead.) but he has no trouble expressing anger and rage. If u mess up real bad, in the sense where u disobey him and end up hurting yourself (no matter to what degree), GIRL HE IS SCREAMING HIS HEAD OFF AT YOU (like the scene from the movie where he's yelling at miles). I mean, he's so mad, he legit picks you up and hauls you to your room, where he's yelling at u even more, using the terms "child" "kid" and patronising tone because you may think you're a grown up (u might even be) but he will ALWAYS view u as a kid- THE KID he lost, the child he promised to protect and somehow get redemption, or at the very least, fill the empty hole in his heart.
And since nobody thought to inform me that my man Miguel is a literal VAMPIRE and that his fangs are not just for show to attract all kinds of viewrs, we gonna talk about that as well. Does he use them on reader when she finds out that Miguel actually fucking murdered her real fam (maybe not directly kill them, because he is a hero after all. Maybe in the sense that he knew they were gonna die, you would too unless he took u away, he just didnt bother calculating the repercussions if he did indeed save your family.) and reader is now hyperventilating and trying to claw her way out of his arms but muscled arms only pull u tighter against his chest and he just bites ur neck to let the venom paralyse you long enough for him to not only offer an explanation for his actions, but also put a tracker in you and chain u to your bed.
Does Miguel's heart absolutely shatter at your body wracking sobs and distressed state as you realise you have lost your family? Yes. Does he apologise? Never. Does he like seeing you in pain? NO. Will he cause you even more pain? ...yes, if circumstances change.
Hurting you is the last the thing he's do, but its still something he would do. He wont enjoy it, but if u messed up real bad (escaped and endangered yourself) then Miguel, with a very heavy heart will snap your ankles and limit your ability to walk for months (if not for life). This is one of his harshest punishments, and punishments are immeadiately followed with comfort, so Miguel does put your fractured bones in a cast and wipes the tears from his eyes, shushing you gently as he softly explains why he did what he did, how you dont need to worry about anything because since you took your punishment so well, Miguel will help you (he will carry you around everywhere), and maybe if you're in too much pain, he may give you some drugs(or even his venom) to put you to sleep right away.
He has lost too much, too many times. His wounds are deep and still fresh, he is not taking any chances... especially not with you.
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okay thats all i have for now(its a lie, i just need to pee) but feel free to send in ur asks/thoughts/scenarios.
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cinnamonest · 1 month
Note
LENA HI i need to ask. how do you survive irl? bc personally im a radical feminist and im all for eradicating gender roles and empowering women so having all these raging fetishes that stem from misogyny is so shameful to me(not that i really want to stop anyway…) i walk around with millions of unwanted inappropriate thoughts produced by my noncon-adled porn-rotten brain. like i genuinely need advice(or at least reassurement…) from someone that can relate. even if you cant relate or dont want to answer, id be VERY happy if you could just post this to your board so maybe someone else could see it and send a reply, as another anon or as a comment to the post, idk. thank you in advance. and no i dont want to see a professional about this, the fuck am i supposed to tell them😭
I totally get that, I struggled with the same thing for a long time. I'm not great with explaining things like this, but I think the most important thing to address (the observation of which helped me get over feelings of shame and guilt) is
1) a disconnect between real misogyny and fictional misogyny, as well as 2) critical examination of fandom culture perpetuating shaming the content.
To be very clear: misogyny in real life is not like what I write about. Actual misogynists behave remarkably differently from what you see here. They do not cherish you, they're not just possessive or tsun, they genuinely do not see you as human, you are disposable to them, they hate you — and their behavior reflects that.
Secondly, I think it helps to become aware of a phenomenon I've noticed, increasingly so in recent years, where the same people vehemently hating on dark fiction will turn around and engage in very real misogyny. It's a bizarre phenomenon but it's definitely real and observable, and observing this over and over again has proven to me that fictional content does not at all facilitate real engagement.
I'm obviously biased to myself, and I won't say it's objectively true, but I personally think that the fictional content helps me recognize the real thing even where others often don't, and I've seen others in these spaces have similar experiences.
Which frankly, this contrast is not good because real misogyny, especially as it is casually woven into everyday life and culture, causes real harm, yet fandom culture is increasingly obsessed with fictional content and shaming consumers while turning a blind eye to it occurring in reality.
Recognizing the difference, for me at least, and the disconnect between them, as well as the realization of just how often real misogyny was a critical part of getting over feelings of guilt.
Tldr:
1) fictional misogyny and real misogyny are not only different, but often mutually exclusive, and
2) engaging with fictional content on misogyny does not inhibit your ability to recognize nor combat it — that's a matter of careful analysis of engagement with culture.
Also on another note — there are a lot of professionals who are very understanding about this sort of thing! I won't say every single one is, but there are plenty of non-judgemental professionals.
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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year
Note
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Omg
Hey
Hey!
HEY!!
WHAT ABOUT GOD READER THAT GOT A CURSE PLACED ON THEM BY SOMEONE THEY DON'T LIKE
That curse makes them turn to random ages like,, one day you wake up and your like 3 and the other you're 29 and the acolytes just have to deal with it for a months (and just for funziz you don't keep your memories as a kid *evil laugh*)
I feel like people who are generally around kids would be great around us and some others .... Less so (*cough cough* ei)
AND EVEN BETTER
WHAT IF ENGLISH ISN'T OUR FIRST LANGUAGE AND IT SUMTGING LIKE FRENCH OR SPANISH, AND THE ACOLYTES ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE TEYING TO TALK TO YOU WHILE 14 YEAR OLD READER IS CURLED UP IN A BALL CUS THEY'RE SCARED LSKFJGJDLSK
let the tennage/ kid reader be neurodivergent/autistic (cuz i am and theres bot enough rep on this god forsaken app .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.)
n E wayss <3
LOVE YA !!!!
Aka. your fave >:D kiss kiss
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A KISS KISS??!!! FOR ME?!!! 😊🥰😚 <3
BRO i literally designed a whole original character around that concept lmao (except they remember/just body change/everything else kinda matches ur desc! :0 )
Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them only), Neurodivergent!Reader, Child!Reader, Teen!Reader
Planet: Language Shenanigans, Platonic
Orbit: Headcanons-ish, mini scenarios
Stars: Arataki Itto, Kuki Shinobu, ft. Kujou Sara, Ei + Raiden Shogun, Inazumans
Comets & Meteors: No Content Warnings & No Triggers Detected.
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no bc gif is me as a kid, bc I didn't experience snow until I was 12 💀 +it stayed for like one day, was 1 inch deep, or like 5 cm (for my non-americans out there), and was gone the next lmao- I was terrified when I moved and got REAL snowy days- jfc Snezhnaya would kill little me-
SO I was kinda stuck on this tbh, i usually default to like, headcanons or scenarios if ppl dont specify/im just adding onto what you already said like when its not even really a request u know?
so, uh tried to do headcanons, but idk how good it is Orah, sorry!
Also ik you mentioned as example, but we sticking to Inazuma, bc i feel like I neglect them lol
also i hope u like Itto 💀
you quickly found out that magic obeys some weird type of logic despite being magic, so you only ever fluctuate in age within the range you’ve already been,
ur kinda glad youre not seeing what you look like at 100 years old and getting stuck that way for weeks- only Sophie from Howl’s Moving Castle can be cursed to be old yet has so much rizz that she’s still badass and pulls a wizard boyfriend LMAO
so just bc idk what to make the max,
let’s put you at originally, also bc im not a minor, 20 yrs old
so what I mean by all the above is: you’ve lived 2 decades, 1-20 are the only ages you can be
-that being said,
you’re a menace.
so yeah you could’ve been a quiet kid, a well-behaved kid, a good kid even,
…but not in a magical world full of awesome flora and fauna, and magical creatures,
and gods, and vision users and-
you get the point.
plus, you hadn’t really learned English yet until u were a bit older so (who can blame you i hate this language ur so valid)
and for whatever reason English is the only one these guys speak, besides maybe some mythical creatures like the aranara or something
so its kinda absolute chaos trying to reign u in at times.
so needless to say the entirety of Inazuma is terrified for you.
like, even if you aren’t the “Creator” per say in this, they still know what the warmth of your power feels like
But more importantly-
You know who’s the first to spot a random wandering-non-Inazuman-child? And take you in? Especially one that radiates that same energy of presence they feel sometimes + makes them more powerful???
The Amazing, the All-Powerful, Awe-Inspiring Oni: Arataki Itto!
Not even his gang, or Kuki are the first to see you, nah it’s Itto himself,
he literally finds 12 yr old you just sneaking around in awe in Chinju Forest,
and needless to say ur pretty fascinated with the colors and the vibes, and it’s not like Genshin Impact existed when u were this young, ur poor younger self is just rlly paranoidly looking around
Itto is kinda a lot at first, and he was a little confused by ur constant rubbing your arms, or tapping ur fingers on stuff, (or all the stims u be doing when ur nervous) but he just took it all in stride
so Itto, after like an hour and a few well placed rocks at his face and groin by 12 yr old u who was ready to fight to the death at first, FINALLY convinced you by drawing a little picture of his house and his friends
and all that clear effort, despite the foreign world, foreign non-human guy, etc., made you warm up to him too, afterall, even 12 yr old you knew a himbo when they saw one 💪
at first he just thought you were another person who was getting powered up by that yokai he felt (he was convinced thats what you were when u weren’t physically here before, like some kind of powerful gift giving/deal making yokai)
but after he saw you shapeshift the next morning into 16 yr old you, (he lives with his grandma so ur younger self felt pretty safe staying with a himbo guy and an little grandma lady)
he was now more convinced than ever-
that you were some kind of god that’s been in hiding since the archon war (his granny has a lot of cool stories so what?! hes a very educated oni thank you very much!),
rather than a vision user, and he also thinks u being random ages is deffo a curse, and its to keep ur powerfulness limited!! - Arataki Itto, 202X
(bc younger u doesnt remember that u can upgrade ppl, or at least it takes em a learning curve bc they gotta relearn everytime)
okay but itd be so funny tho if nobody else believes that (esp the non-magical folk), bc to them, ur just like, a bunch of siblings (child, teen, adult you lmao) or a tanuki lol
he eventually gets Kuki to believe, after she also sees how you change/the aura is honestly more powerful too once she’s paying attention, like instead of like a blanket, ur like standing in front of a raging campfire
but she makes him keep it a secret
ur really vulnerable a lot of the time, so they’re both worried abt keeping u happy and safe, aw cuties <3
so yeah, ur literally just chillin with the arataki gang all the time now
the gang become ur besties no matter the age, like they love mild pranks, and general chaos, u wanna explore no matter the age, and also love chaos, esp since it can be magical now (oh child you is having the time of their life when they’re around)
its literally a match made in heaven
plus the more hands on deck, the easier it is to keep ur ass from running off as a kid (and an adult, bc omg a shiny?? a shiny crystal fly???!! lmao neurodivergent 🤝crow/raven = shiny solidarity)
honestly Itto has a blast with all versions of you, and he’s literally the best bc he’s a himbo:
so he’s fine with answering context or “obvious” questions all the time LMAO
and if he makes any conclusions abt ppl’s behavior u dont, he’ll explain pretty quick and simple and he never sees it as awkward or smth
its honestly kinda funny bc ur like 10, and just 🤨🤨🤨??? sometimes at ppl (u got better at reading ppl as u got older obv, and at english too, that doesnt help lol)
he’s super sweet abt it, just really quick which is great too,
“he’s irritated at the guard, not us!”
or “she’s relieved, not upset, don’t worry it’s all good!”
like, u never misunderstand ANYBODY with this Oni around!! <3
(this is mainly bc Itto’s gotta know when to bail, joke, stand his ground, etc. from experience, and messing w/Kujou Sara so he’s actually really good at reading people, only when he’s paying attention tho)
so younger u just feels safe around Itto, and so while u do get taught english (mostly by his grandma/Kuki) u also dont rlly mask,
nor do u know how to mask as well as you do in the future
so ur just running around with the gang, living ur little neurodivergent life, and anytime someone points out smth u do that might be awkward, like repeating something over and over as a stim (esp with learning english phrases/new words at times) the gang and Itto, and Kuki, are all ready to protect 💪
but most of the time what happens is- whether unintentionally or not, Itto manages to make THEM feel awkward or like they’re the ones doing something socially weird all the time 😭
just, a parent is like “this kid can’t speak English, do they even know any other language? Because all I keep hearing is them repeating that sound over and over…”
Itto: “Damn you're right they do that a lot, just like how you peek out your window a lot, but we all got our quirks man, no need to be shy about it, the kid isn’t, so just open those curtains, and that window and look out at the world!”
which announces to the whole neighborhood, bc Itto is only ever not loud when you tap his arm as a signal, that the parent is the nosiest bitch ever, he just puts them on blast for everyone to hear lmao
Itto is actually very respectful about you, and while it would, almost be easy bc of the age switching, for him to infantilize you, he’s really good at treating you like an equal no matter how old you are :0 :D
like a giant teddy bear older brother at times, and the guys and Kuki are all pretty good at it too
(tho dw, Kuki is doing all the emotional distress heavy lifting for all of them over your safety, esp bc when u switch at first u are VERY out of your element/disoriented bc u dont always recognize Teyvat/know less English)
but that being said…
Itto fucking loves your excited/happy stims!!!
You flap your hands? Ittos flapping his arms!
You jump up and down, Itto jumps!,
…with his full grown man self with MUSCLES, and causes a mini earthquake wherever you guys are- yknow a shop, the center of town, somebody’s house, near one of the guards 💀 (which always manages to knock them flat on their ass LMFAOO)
Or best of all, you do little stompy stomps??
ITTO DOES HIS STOMPS WITH YOU, like his idle animation does??? :D !!
DUDE- (/gen.n.)
u were like 8 at the time, and saw Kujou Sara for the first time, she’s looking all badass, mostly bc Itto pranked her and she’s power-walking toward u guys pissed as hell ready to arrest him, but u love it anyway bc shes so cool, and right as Sara gets to u two-
u start doing stompy stomps! And Itto joins!!
…and she’s shocked at first, but realizing how giggly and happy u two are, and then Itto explains its bc of her???
Kujou Sara lets Arataki Itto go, for the first time, ever.
she doesnt explain, but she literally was so melted by cuteness, and a warm familiarity??, by u two she couldnt be mad anymore lmao
Itto is now legally obligated to bring you to any and all matters involving the government, regardless of age, according to Kuki Shinobu, his grandma, and himself
all for different reasons tho, Itto’s like, “My lucky charm! My bestie goes everywhere with me!”
meanwhile Kuki/grandma: “A foreign non-Teyvatian speaking child/teen at times is more adept at keeping Itto in line than anyone else, or at least getting him out of the consequences 💀”
Bonus:
The first time you see the Raiden Shogun,
She scares the shit out of 6 yr old you 😭
And she recognizes that familiar aura immediately, so shes just like:
😶😦😰
(You warm up to her after she offers to show you how she can summon lightning, Itto helped her lmao, and Ei also came out to keep u safe bc Raiden is a little… unaware… at times, of mortal limits, and now that ur in a mortal body-)
Also both of them unanimously agree to be the sugar mother to all ur hyperfixation foods/safe foods ever, SCOREEEE
Bonus 2:
*KUKI WOULD LIKE THE COLLECTIVE CITY OF INAZUMA TO KNOW SHE DOES NOT APPROVE OF ITTO TEACHING U ENGLISH CUSSWORDS
I hope somebody likes Itto enough to enjoy this, sorry if u arent a huge fan of him Orah! I just think he's annoying and neat, and havent written abt Inazuma enough lmao
I finally graduated college/uni by the way guys!!!
Ill actually have a life now that wont be hogged by homework! Like writing! Like drawing! Like anything but school!
Anyway, love u guys, another post coming soon,
Safe Travels Orah,
💀♒️
���my beloved♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk
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memoiich · 1 month
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Obi wan Headcanons my lord? feed the poor
God, I have a lot of them .I'm going to split this up in a few parts just because it makes sense . Strap in !!!
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Part 0: baby obi wan
His parents noticed that he was a surprisingly bright child, and since they were farmers from stewjon, they weren’t well off. When they had their second child (a son) they brought obi wan to a near by testing unit on the neighbour planet Klommet , in hopes of giving both him and his brother a better chance at survival.
Obi wan was tested at the age 1 and a half. He was clearly gifted but nothing special.
He used to cry a lot when he first got to the jedi temple. Most jedi got rather annoyed at the younglings crying, except one ,qui gon jin .
Qui gon voluntured a lot at the creshe , he believed that crying children needed confort not a lecture. Obi wan got attached to qui gon rather quickly as a 2 year old ( qui gon looks a bit like his late dad)
As he grew up , he got along well with the other children and formed close friendships with them ( po ,kit ,quinlan) . Seeing this, qui gon went back to helping the new kids.
Part 1 : padawan years
Obi wan is rather talented at most things, not on a “ WOW YOU’RE THE BEST “ way but more like a “…that shouldn’t go so easily “ . He picks things up quickly, which causes him to be rather inpatient. Not impulsive, he doesn’t rush he simply hates waiting. That's why he hates meditating. He doesn’t understand it.
He doesn’t know it but when discussing who would get which apprentice , his name fell quite a few times . Obi wan likes to learn and so many suspect that he would be a nice well behaved padawan.
He was so happy when they informed him that qui gon would be his master . Qui gon had always stood out as the nicest jedi , not that the others weren’t but he had seemed to understand obi wan a bit more.
The first thing qui gon asked of him was to meditate. Obi wan started stressing immediately, and it went pretty bad in the beginning. Qui gon thought it was hilarious how quickly he was distracted. “ the wall paper does not need your attention right now “ he would quip or “ breathe through your nose and dont rush it” . It took obi Wan's a year to truly be able to meditate properly.
Luckily time wasn’t wasted because his fight skills and knowledge were unmatched.
Piloting took some getting used to. Not only was he scared of heights , but he also wasn’t a fan of rollercoasters. Qui gon always noted how slow he was . “ If you keep flying like this, we won't get there before im 60 “ or “ we can always walk , it might be faster” . But his master did help him, he would go to more desserted planets with obi wan . The planets that even if he would fly faster, he couldn’t hit anything . Obi wan got his red piloting bead 5 months later with the promise to let go a little.
He picks up quickly with missions , like i said he’s a natural . His first mission was a bit stressful but after that hes pretty much set . Also when they get back to their ship , qui gon cooks a home cooked meal because hes not going to let obi wan live on war rashens and blue milk.
He also teaches him how to cook
Obi wan starts feeling a bit quilty because he starts thinking of qui gon as his dad since well he is a little. But the jedi code says no attachments and he will follow that . Until he has a nervous breakdown because if qui gon is a jedi master that follows the jedi code he probably doesn’t care about him , he ends up getting in quite a lot of danger on a mission because of this . When he confesses to qui gon why he did all that he doesn’t respond,he just pulls his padawan into a hug . “ you are my kid obi wan “
When he turns 20 , he starts to really push qui gonn to let him take his trials. He just wants to be a jedi master.
That all changes a bit when he meets the dutches of mandelore Satine . He falls inlove quickly but he’s a real coward about it ( Satine notices) . Satine ends up pulling him into a kiss 2 months later at a gala she had to attend. They had a night together……
Qui gonn knows 100% . He finds it hilarious how his bumbling fool of a padawan got himsel into this mess . He prepares for the inevitable “ im leaving the order “ not that he wants him to . Obi wan is just that kinda kid .
When he sees obi wan the next morning, he looks like he cried acts rather somber and asks when they are leaving . Qui gon figures out what happened but doesn’t say anything. They leave and he gives him some space .
For the next 2 years it all goes smoothly until…
Part 2: early Anakin years
Obi wan isn’t too happy with the orphan. They are on a dangerous mission in the middle of who knows where with the queen of a planet that’s about to die . And now they have Ani , he wasn't going to lie it was a sweet child . But why now.
Obi wan has a quiet panic attack when qui gon says he will take anakin as his apprentice . He doesn’t feel ready to take the trials since his self esteem plummeted a bit after the Satine debacle and no one helped him take care of that ( fuck the jedi council) .
During the flight back to Naboo, padme went to her room and qui gon had a call with the council, leaving obi Wan to babysit ani . The child would yap non stop “ Did you make your own lightsaber?” “Yes” “can i hold it?” “No” “ when do i get mine?” “ When you're ready” “ but i am ready” “ no you’re not “ “yes i am “ “ no you’re not “ “ Did you choose THAT color?” “ Yes, i did” “ It's kinda ugly” “…” . A true test of patience but strangly lovable.
About 2 hours later was when the child fell asleep next to obi Wan . Anakin was still shivering , tattooine was a warm planet, something the ship heaters couldn’t compete with. Obi wan draped his long outer coat over the boy in hopes of giving him some warmth . Seeing the child peacefully asleep, Obi wan realised why his master liked him.
It took 48 hours to get to Naboo . It also took 48 hours for Obi wan to look at Anakin as his little brother.
When he first sees Maul he’s scared . He doesn’t want to be, but he simply is . Back in school him and his friends would joke about the sith and how cool it would be to defeat one . Right now , face to face with the first sith in ages , he’s horrified, and the red zebrak seems to kick on it
All he hears are the red force feels buzzing . He doesn’t hear his own scream or the blood dripping from his master . He feels an immense amount of pain, but the moment those shields lay down, he's up . He only focuses on gett to his master in time .And when he’s hanging in the hole , he snaps back into his jedi mind. The sith shows a new hubris, and he sees his chance. He wins
When qui gonn tells him his final wish , he can only lie to him . He doesn’t feel fit to be a master ,he might be the only jedi who pased the old trials ( to kill a sith ), but he feels like a fraud to weak to safe his master. Qui gon passes in his arms and obi wans let the tears fall.
He sees Anakin after he returns from his “trip” and he almost wants to cry again . Anakin looks so confused “ where’s qui gon ?” “ he passed away , anakin” The tears start to well in the little boys eyes, and all that obi can do is pull him into a hug .
The next weeks are quite hard , anakin becomes his padawan, and he becomes a jedi master. They attend qui gons' funeral, and anakins enters the academy since he needs to do both his padawan ship and the basic training. He is a bit pissy about it , but obi Wan cheers him up with home cooked meals .
They are not allowed to go on mission yet together just obi wan alone, and its extremely hard breaking to leave anakin alone .
When they are home together, obi wan pampers the little guy rotten. He brushes and braids anakins hair he buys him miniatuur planes in hopes of getting a better piolet than he is . He helps him with his homework, and he is just a total single dad .
When about a year has passed obi wan realised that he didn't know his birthday so he asked ani and he didn’t know either . They chose marche 5th because its a week from then and obi Wan can plan his birthday.Ani loved it.
Anakin doesn't make a lot of friends in school or anywhere. Which bothers obi Wan greatly , he thinks anakin is a great kid who can do no wrong. It all escalated when a child calls Anakin a slave ( obi wan does not know how they got here )
Obi wan threatens to destroy him to the boys face . He ends up crying, and Anakin isn’t bothered ever again. ( the jedi council was not happy )
And so it pretty much continues for a few years
Part 3: late anakin years
Anakin is now 20 years old, which is double the age he was when obi Wan met him .
Many people think that obi Wan is past his prime, but this man is absolutely ribbed. He has perfect physique, he’s just covered in robes and coats and stuff
He keeps extra kyber crystals around because Anakin keeps losing/breaking his lightsaber
Anakin requested black robes, and the council wouldn’t let him because of the association with the sith, and obi wan was like “ No , let my padawan express himself . Plus, I killed the last sith years ago “ so they let him because nothing is scarier than getting on obi wans' bad side
When they meet padmé again, obi Wan is almost laughing at how bad anakin is hiding his feelings for her . He also realises that he will have to talk to his padawn about it .
Obi wan gets a little stricter over the last year since anakin definitely doesn't think before he does anything
When the council decided to let Anakin go with Padme , he couldn't help but warn anakin once again. He reminds him of the problems that might occur or the heartbreak ( he's definitely not projecting)
When shmi dies, he tries his best to support anakin best he can . He doesn’t remember his parents, but he assumes it's like losing Qui gon, so he does everything he needed back then . Home cooked meals ,hugs ,pep talks, pulling him out of mission….
He noticed from the moment they set foot into the arena that they were together. On the one hand, he was extremely nervous about it, and on the other, he was a bit proud of his boy.
ALSO, he gets that shiver down his spine because he realises that qui gon knew about him and Satine, and he's a bit embarrassed about it .
He doesn't tell it to anakin because just like his master he thinks that it might be better to give them space .
He gets really offended that he wasn't invited to the wedding. He knows it was supposed to be undercover, but please
Padme and anakin will sometimes invite him for dinner as if they aren't dating, and he truly enjoys those evenings together.
He likes padme immensely . She helps to calm anakin down, and she's all around a great person .
She's also the first out of her and anakin to realise that obi Wan knows . Sadly, this happens after the wedding, so now it's like a shared secret.
Now that anakin left the nest , he gets to enjoy hobbies. He starts experimenting with cooking until Kit , Quinlan and Po are so done with it that they start ordering out . Then he gets a pet a feathered veractyle he names boga , when the planet he’s visiting allows it she will be his transport . He also keeps a variety of plants ( they remind him of qui gon) and books .he collects golden trinkets. Anakin jokes that it all goes against the jedi code, but he likes it .
HE ALSO LOVES TO GOSSIP with his clones anakin padme kit po anyone that wants to listen.
Talking about his clones , he loves them dearly not as much as anakin but like coby is one of his closest friends.
212 has tried to give him nicknames before, but it never sticks , they do like saying the negotiator in funny voices .
Obi wan thinks that his clones are the best clones, but it seems that every jedi thinks that.
He is now a jedi council member, and he still has that off feeling that he doesn’t deserve it . His ideas dont link with the others, and he feels that he doesn't have a lot of influence on it . Qui gon was never part of it, and he understands why more and more. He loves being a jedi master but kinda hates the council.
That also makes it really hard for him to help Anakin with his dissatisfaction with his position rn . Being on the council but not a master feels like the worst-case scenario, but he has to help anakin not be pissy, so he does . It is a great honor to be on the council.
He didn't know about padmé being pregnant. So he just thought anakin was so stressed out about his career and the jedi order . After everything happened as it did , he felt that he didn’t support anakin correctly.
Obi wan objected when they wanted anakin to spy on Palpetine . He doesn’t want his boy near any danger and definitely not in the front line . He yells and fights for it until it goes to a vote, just as his seat on the council, obi Wan would leave the council immediately if it meant that Anakin was 100% safe . In the end , the vote goes for the spying and obi wans demands to tell anakin himself. It doesn’t go well, obi Wan feels like he's betraying his brother.
In the coming weeks, he will see the loveable orphan of tatooine change to a traumatized war veteran, and he's not happy about it. He tries to calm him down and speak to him just like he did when shmi died . Sadly, this time, it doesn’t seem to work.
When his clones betray him , he feels fear for the first time since the deul of the faiths . Not only is he in danger, but they are in danger , anakin might be in danger . He feels his life falling from betw his fingers . Boga and some of his dear clones die when he gets back to his ship . He calls to anakin, but he doesn’t pick up . He flies to the temple.
When yoda and him visit the temple, dread fills his mind. He still didn’t receive anything from anakin and was really worried about it . They see the temple lithered with death children, and all he sees are small Anakin's death on the floor . Then they see the footage of the night before, and the world falls beneath him . Anakin is a murderer, a sith, and still his brother . Obi wan chooses to go alone to face him ….
{that one deleted scene }
The deul with anakin is the worst moment of his life. Nothing compares to it . He tries to enter with an open mind and the little voice in the back of his mind telling him to redeem anakin . Sadly hes to far gone. The deul ends with his dying friend near the fire , obi wans whole life in pieces and a almost death padme.
The birth of Luke and leia is a small piece of hope, but padmé passes away . Obi wan has no one anymore.
He's extremely happy with the organas asking to adopt leia, and he himself asks to adopt Luke, but that did not happen because of the circumstances. If the sith starts hunting jedi , Obi wan will be at the top of the list
In the end, he lives near Luke until he grows to be a jedi .
He tries to meditate, but his bond to the force is pretty much broken .
Part 4: obi wan alone
Since moving to Tatooine, he has got some new dreams . He gets flashbacks to his childhood before being a jedi, but the worst once are the anakin once . They all start the same , meeting ani quick flashes through their years together and then Mustafar .
He believes that he killed anakin and that he burnt to death .
He has mixed feelings towards his actions. On the one hand, he as a jedi had to kill him, but as his brother, he is simply broken.
He doesn’t think of himself as a jedi anymore. Over the years, he has come to question the jedi order . For how they treated anakin and ahsoka even padme . He promised to himself that he wouldn’t teach Luke to throw away his emotions.
When darth maul shows up on tattooin, he's in some strange way. Sorry for him . They were both just children raised for war , he wished partly that they could have got Maul out before Naboo or that he wouldn’t hold the anger he had towards him for the death of his father . He took a deep breath and let it go . In the end, Maul died in his arms , the same way he had hoped he would have pulled anakin up after their duel.
He tries to meditate again in hopes of connecting to qui gons' spirit or anakins . He hopes to apologise to anakin to pet his hair and tell him it's alright to get one last evening diner with padmé and Anakin . From qui gon, he just wants comfort a long hug or a smile that shows him he’s proud of his padawan, even a home cooked meal .
He starts working as a butcher for sand whales . In the beginning, he used to walk there, but then lars pointed out that that was really suspicious for the other people in town . So he went shopping for a transport that was nice and easy to maintain . That's how he ends up with his eopie Akkani .
Akkani is a bit of a lazy animal , she just wants to eat and walk and eat again. He's happy he has a pet, tho because he gets a bit lonely.
He keeps all of his jedi things in a chest in his gave , including his own lightsaber and 2 sets of beads . One set is his own padawan braid beads, and the other are anakins . He also has some other stuff such as qui gon' s old kitchen knife and some pictures of his clones scrabs of r2d2 when he needed repairs a feather of boga some model airplanes anakin used to play with and so on. ( NO BURYING IN THE DESSERT I HATE THAT)
He really wants to train Luke, but Lars won’t let him . Which hurts obi Wan a lot . He wouldn’t push Luke to be a soldier like the once before , he would connect him to the force just like qui gon wanted with Anakin .
That's why he started reading up on the ancient scripts about the jedi . He loves the Yawa sellers just because he can buy his books without the empire noticing.
He will wait forever in hopes of setting the universe back to balance for the mistake he made on Mustafar.
This took so long and its not even all of it .( i left out the kenobi series because i didn’t want to rewrite it and i couldn’t figure out how to add to it without rewriting it srry)
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Also i wrote a little obi wan reacting to ahsoka being Anakins padawn not that long ago ( link below )
And i left his later relationship with satine and maul out because it might be a bit long . If you want that you can always ask in my requests ( i do have some thoughts about those)
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{masterlist}
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roach-works · 5 months
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hey i'd just like to come on here and formerly apologize. i did more digging, and I realized frankly, i shouldn't have done that. and i'm extremely sorry. i'm not only regretting it because of the hate and whatever i'm getting in return, but i realized I shouldn't have come for you like that. it was in the past and i didn't think at all. and you're incredibly right with everything you said. i'm once again so sorry for coming out and harrasing you about something so long ago, and frankly, not even as bad as some others have done. you are right- i am just a silly teenager and i'm willing to accept my mistakes as one. this has taught me a lot. and yes, this is ser0_t0nin, i just changed my user because I had people messaging and sending me asks telling me to off myself, and having others attack my other socials. i am once again so sorry. thank you for this learning experience and I will never repeat this incident to anyone else. It was so wrong of me to just come out and accuse you of shit. anyways i keep saying sorry a lot but it's cause I am. I immediately regretted it, even after I sent the stupid ask in. i'm sorry if I made the day bad for you and I wish you the best. once again, for the seventh millionth time, im sorry. ps. you don't have to accept my apology i just hope you know i took everything you said into consideration and have changed my outlook on things. i'm sorry.
huh, it's fucked up that people have been telling you to kill yourself. while that isn't a lesson i would wish on anyone-- and i have repeatedly tried to make it clear to my followers that harassment is wrong and nobody should ever do it, no matter the target--it does serve as a pretty clear demonstration that the internet is full of reactive assholes who don't actually care about right or wrong, just finding their next victim. it could be me, it could be you. eventually it will be both of us.
im sorry you're having such a bad time. it was my intention to give you a sharp wake-up call, not weeks of undeserved suffering. as you can see, a lot of getting by on the internet these days is blind luck and a very thick skin, not behaving well or treating people right. still, being a teenager is hard enough without also slogging through harassment, so you've got my sympathies. i hope you get through this in one piece, and find a comfortable place to enjoy yourself again.
turn anonymous asks off, and good luck.
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ohbo-ohno · 7 months
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What do you imagine Soaps childhood was like?
My personal fave headcanon is that his family made the legwork for making Johnny so puppy-shaped. You know, in the usual ways. Making him follow orders, punishing him when he was bad, rarely giving him a treat when he was good. Making the dogs chase him for hours to teach him lessons. Giving Johnnys room to their dogs when they realized that he was not as well behaved as them. Making him sleep outside in the dog shelter, even when it snowed. (That's where his fear from dogs stems from and also where he learned to tolerate coldness so well).
ok wait wait wait hold on. im always SO torn on johnny's childhood. like there are so many different angsty opportunities, and just because i love to make my characters suffer i usually imagine him with no family. (ghost has no family and rejects the thought of ever having one again vs. johnny has no family and is constantly begging for a new one, anyone?)
by the way you mentioning johnny is afraid of dogs? one of my FAVORITE carry-overs from captain mactavish. i love imagining puppy johnny hating Real Dogs
ok so i tend to imagine soap as growing up in a suuuuper feminine household. im talking four older sisters or smth like that, maybe even by a single mother (or maybe a dad who was one of those "yes dear" kind of husbands who just lets his wife do literally everything and chills his entire life). works for what you said - im an only child so i wouldn't know but it's a steryotype that older sisters run their younger brothers ragged right?
also just for comedy's sake, i love the image of johnny "raised by 5 women" mactavish showing up to bootcamp and being like "oh this is a cakewalk" because his sisters put him through hell and this is like. nothing. probably super unrealistic but a girl can giggle
allll that being said, the idea of johnny coming from an abusive household and then meeting ghost and being attracted to him in part because of the mistreatment... the dark horribleness of it all does something for me
johnny, whose spent his whole life being bossed around and looked down on, disregarded, and he isn't shocked when it's mostly the same in the military. but then he starts getting positive attention and ohhhhh.... oh, that changes things
and then he meets Ghost. the meanest motherfucker he's ever met, but the best CO (other than price) he's ever had, and those glimmers of approval are fucking addictive. doesn't take johnny long to start doing damn near everything for even a head-nod from ghost, and doesn't take too long for ghost to start taking advantage of that too
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when has anyone EVER said that homophobia is izzy’s only motivation. i’m on team “gay homophobe izzy” and i do not think this is his only motivation. i don’t even think it’s his primary motivation. it is another layer of complexity on a fascinating character. he is gay and in unrequited love with ed. he craves power and leadership but he is not good at managing those things when he gets them. he thinks men should behave a certain way and is aggressive and cruel to the men who don’t meet his standards. men having sex with each other is fine, but men falling in love with men falls outside of his rigid idea of how men should behave. he lacks the emotional maturity to be able to identify his feelings towards ed. he is so repressed he only accepts intimacy in the form of physical violence. he blames stede for ed changing. he hates stede because ed is changing. to izzy, the worst part about stede changing ed is the fact that stede is such a pathetic excuse of a man it shatters izzy’s image of ed to think that ed could find anything about stede appealing. he’s dedicated his life to the version of ed that he’s made up in his head. he is possessive of being the only one to call him ed, to be the only one who gets to call the legendary blackbeard by his name. but izzy has never been able to see ed without blackbeard. to him, knowing ed is a privilege only because ed is who’s behind the legendary blackbeard’s curtain.
i think izzy is fascinating. he's a fantastic character. he is incredibly well written. he plays a crucial role in the narrative. this show would not be the same without him.
im telling you now, having spent my time in this fandom primarily interacting with people who also read izzy as homophobic, anyone who is using this interpretation to reduce izzy's complexity is by far in the minority with that take.
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ultra-raging-ghost · 5 months
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Im real nervous main tagging this because ive said my main peace and i dont wanna clog the tag up, but i will say after some context given i have a couple more thoughts?
tw// SA, r//pe mention, etc.
This will be a controversial statement. Me personally, i dont really honestly care? About what he said? It was eight years ago and he hasnt repeated the actions so i dont honestly and truly care what he did eight years ago, he was 19 then hes like 26 now theres honestly and truly a BIG maturity distance between 19 and 26, but also it was. Eight years ago? Thats all i have to say on that?
I Also dont really care for how it was brought to light, from what ive heard from pt speakers the expose was done by someone whos publicly anti towards the Brazilian CCs and ive heard they've dug up some dumb things about pac that werent "hot" enough to get trending i guess and definitely werent condemnable enough to get him cancelled, so it's honestly and truly in my heart something i see as being done in bad faith.
Alongside this, ive seen translation screenshots from one of the "victims" (not sure her stance on being called this so its in quotes) stating she does NOT want to be aligned with these allegations and has changed her username and profile picture because she honestly doesnt wanna be involved and doesnt want it being spread around, this is something else i view as bad faith and if anyone was affected by this then its the best thing to do as they wish, this not only affects the person being called out but also their victim negatively, especially if the victims profile is easily attached to their real life and especially when the victim is a female victim of assault or rape or anything like that, i hate to say it but as an afab person ive seen it firsthand that thats honestly the culture surrounding assault victims, and most people dont want that being brought up or put out in the public. Im a victim myself - people view you differently, it affects platonic and romantic relationships, it affects jobs, you are actively hurting the victim by spreading this if they dont want you to do so and arent prepared for that to be spread around.
From what ive seen, some people are condemning Forever for getting a lawyer - i dont view this as him being automatically guilty. I view this as him getting a lawyer because this person on twitter has been actively harassing not just him but all the brazilian CCs on the QSMP. This is harassment, the case against them will hold up in court and Forever has said he will speak about this more when everything is said and done
Alongside this, i will say im unhappy with Forever specifically for his statement on the situation. It wasnt handled the way we wouldve liked it, but it also wasnt handled via ukelele, it wasnt handled the worst way it could've been. Ive heard pt speakers say it was kind of formal, there was some slang in there but overall i've read the translated statement and to me it sounds more like a legal statement than anything - he mentioned having a lawyer, chances are the lawyer helped him write it. To me it doesnt sound like anything he'd fully say which is why i was so put off by it at first but this makes more sense to me honestly, i dont know if anyone would agree with this.
TL;DR
All in all, i think its a shitty situation but nothing to condemn Forever over. I ask people be thoughtful regarding the girl affected, and dont spread shit around with her name or profile attached to it unless she states otherwise. It was handled badly on Forever's end and blew up WAY too fast on twitter.
I've generally seen people be well behaved on here, ive seen some strong statements but otherwise i like to think we're better than twitter.
This probably wont be my last post on this as we get more on the situation over the next couple days, but this is my main thoughts right now. I'm still choosing to remain neutral, but more mixed than anything.
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merakiui · 1 year
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Hellooooo im the anon who usually sends in runaway pregnant genshin darling ideas (or one of them hehe)
Okay so I don't know if you got one for them yet, but imagine runaway pregnant darlings but with cyno and tighnari?? Like they babytrap darling in order to keep from escaping them but it happens anyways...Like from what we know about cyno it would seen terrifying for darling to try to escape him especially while pregnant since cyno is like...a master tracker/hunter who's tracked numerous criminals down so of course he's gonna find darling with no problem ..like darling is gonna have to try to pull something extremely smart in order to escape cyno
As for tighnari....as forest ranger he knows every inch of avidiya forest so there's no place darling can hide from him...and knowing tighnari, he's not gonna be happy at all with his darling once he finds them
Cyno is so scary when he tracks you down, so eerily focused and determined, his serious nature as the General Mahamatra guiding him on a trail he’s certain leads to you. He’s very good at finding runaway souls. After all, if he wasn’t he wouldn’t be able to execute judgment. Cyno isn’t as angry as you might think. Rather, he’s more worried that you might hurt yourself or get captured by nefarious individuals and that greatly outweighs any frustration he could muster. That, and he was suspecting you might try escaping at some point. It’s impossible to hold someone still forever when they want nothing more than to be free. He understands that, and he’s told you that if you can behave he’ll let you do things like roam about the house (albeit heavily monitored). Cyno wants to trust you because trust is an important foundation of any relationship and he’ll be having a child with you, but he can’t. Not when you pull such dangerous stunts.
He’s gentle with you. Yes, he scares the soul out of you when he appears and everyone in the village is quick to give you up, knowing just how ruthless the General Mahamatra can be. Whether they believed your story about him holding you captive, you can’t say. The General Mahamatra is a mysterious individual. They do not know him beyond that title and are only aware that if he comes after you you’d better count what little blessings remain. What he’d want with you, a poor, pregnant person, is none of their business. Cyno is serious and unfazed with your reactions. Whether it’s anger or fear or sadness or even defeat, he act the same: neutral and stony-faced.
He could tell you about how thoughtless that was, remind you that it’s pointless to run, even threaten you into compliance. But he doesn’t. He simply offers his hand and says in a voice that is so soft, a voice reserved only for you, “Let’s go home.”
There are many things Cyno knows. He knows his affection for you is true. He knows he wants this—wants a family, wants your reciprocations, wants to be able to look upon you without seeing you shrink away in fear. He’s patient. He loves you too much to be hateful or spiteful or angry. Instead, he reprimands you on the way back. You already know it was useless to flee. You already know there’s no escaping him and this life he’s shackled you to. Cyno tells you it’s important you stay in the safe confines of his home. What would you have done if the stresses of a new environment with new people and new fears affected the baby? What if someone had found you and hurt you? What if you lost the baby? He’s worried for both your and the child’s sake. You need to think before you act. He doesn’t want to lecture you in things you’re already well aware of, but he has to remind you.
Cyno is just Cyno when he’s with you, not the General Mahamatra whispered about so fearfully. He can make compromises if you’re willing to behave; he’s nothing if not fair and sensible. And if you really wish to walk around and see new sights, he’ll join you on a walk. And as the months pass and your belly grows rounder it will become harder to try any agile, nimble escapes. But by then Cyno hopes you would have submitted to the sweet domesticity that comes with him and the family he will raise with you.
- - -
Tighnari isn’t surprised when he finds your bed empty. He isn’t worried either, but then he also isn’t pleased. You can be so troublesome sometimes. Have you forgotten that you’re carrying his kits? Have you forgotten that fennecs mate for life? If you wanted a walk or a change of scenery, you could have just said so. Now whether he’d grant you that change of scenery is solely dependent on whether you’ve been behaving… In any case, Tighnari is more annoyed than upset. He’s told you plenty of times that the forest is as beautiful as it is dense and dangerous. If you don’t have proper navigation skills or aren’t accustomed to the environment and the flora and fauna that reside there, you’ll never find your way out, let alone survive. Must he drill that concept into your head until it clicks?
Tighnari has always believed that you’re capable, but after he realized you were pregnant and he watched your belly grow as the months passed, he’s insisted that you need him. Sometimes it feels like he relies on you more than you’re meant to rely on him. Tighnari is reasonable, however, and so even he knows the appeal a forest has. You could get lost in the beautiful nature; it can also hide and protect you. But Tighnari knows the forest like the back of his hand. It doesn’t take him very long to find you. He was generous and patient enough to give you a day of solitude to yourself because he knows that you often like being alone and if that’s all it takes to get you out of the mood you’ve found yourself in he’ll do just that. This also serves as a learning experience for you: Tighnari is much safer than the forest.
He finds you and doesn’t bother with the lecture. You’ve heard it so many times now that it’s nothing new. You hear him before you see him, and he lowers to sit beside you on the ground, where the shade of a large tree provides perfect coverage from the sun above. He can spare you the scolding. All that really matters is that you’re here with him.
Sometimes saying nothing is better than saying anything. Tighnari sits in silence with you, listening to the thrum of your heartbeat and the heartbeats of so many others within the rainforest, hears birds take flight in a flutter of feathers, listens to rushing bodies of water and leaves and twigs crunching underfoot in the far-off distance. When he’s in the moment with you, where neither of you argue or debate the meaning of freedom and autonomy and even what it means to love, there is so much peace. And that’s all he wants at the end of the day: a peaceful life with you, lived happily in the depths of the rainforest with a beautiful family.
There are many things Tighnari could do: punish you, lock you away, shackle and chain you, feed you all manner of muscle relaxants so you’ll find yourself unable to escape farther and farther into the future until, eventually, hopefully, you’ll give up and recognize you belong with him. But he won’t. Not yet. Not when he knows that moments such as the one he currently shares with you are possible.
He inhales a quiet breath. "Do you want to talk about it?"
You never do, and he doesn’t expect you to. But he always offers his ears, his shoulder, his arms, his everything should you ever need it. And one day, when you and the kits are bonding and he watches with rapt adoration, you’ll realize he is not as poisonous as you seem to think he is.
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kneelingshadowsalome · 11 months
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Now… we all know König is the epitome of a comphet man. Sadly, he has suppressed his homoerotic feelings (this guy has bathed in comics filled with half nude barbarian warriors, be they men or women, since he was a teenager) and will never address his bisexuality in any way because he's fixed on the ideal of some het idyll.
GODDD YOU WRITE!!! toxic kön so well it's actually unbelievable like it's so "traumatized person's idea of love that they based almost entirely on the dynamics of their family". like in that "im going to do it right and im gonna perform this role so well and ill be happy"
probably even better for him if his gf also comes from an awful family since she's willing to try and make the shoe fit all the time no matter if she fits that, if her own needs come out and she can admit them to herself because nothing can compare to the euphoria she (or könig) feels when he comes back home from deployment, meeting her in the kitchen where she's preparing food for him. and the house is clean and almost quiet and she has her hair and makeup done, she's so dressed up you'd think they're having guests over
probably bc the ghosts of their families (the arguments the physical abuse the fear and desperation and hopelessness and false promises of love and safety) are those omnipresent guests lmao. in their head there's a weird voyeuristic need to show off the perfect het relationship even when no one is watching
cw: im getting weird about gender in this next lart
but i bet könig and his gf in this case would also probably get scared shitless when put into a position that is the opposite of gender conformity.... (?)
his beloved would hate being compared to anything masculine, he hates being percieved as anything feminine. gender non conformity is something they feel is tied to being in a nonhet relationship so they will avoid it at all costs.
being in a het relationship, a traditional one especially, creates some kind of invisible boundary that they feel they can't cross 99% of the time, can't be forced into that other role of their "opposite" no matter what they do because the performance of masculinity and femininity is there in every other aspect of their lives and it makes them feel safe
he is the perfect man, the perfect husband and she is his perfect wife, a woman that only belongs to him and nothing can go wrong
"probably bc the ghosts of their families (the arguments the physical abuse the fear and desperation and hopelessness and false promises of love and safety) are those omnipresent guests lmao. in their head there's a weird voyeuristic need to show off the perfect het relationship even when no one is watching"
This is perfection, this whole message and esp. the paragraph above is art and you're so right!
And your analysis got me thinking...
What if they sometimes stray to the edges of conformity, for example Engel raises her voice and finally snaps at him? König gets to see something unusual: a woman being strong and putting up some boundaries and standing her ground... And he doesn’t get mad, he actually gets intrigued (even aroused??) So he continues to push those boundaries again and more often, tries to carve out that reaction so different from how his mother behaved when he was a child.
Or when Engel sometimes gets to be on top and ride him while having a wicked little twinkle in her eyes? König gets to witness the blunt force of her lust, sees a glimpse of this woman who is comfortable in her sexuality while he’s lying there under her, seemingly vulnerable, as she takes him, uses his body for a change? Fuuuuck
Or how Engel feels in those rare moments when König is seconds away from crying, he's sniffling in her tits because of this or that trauma response or trigger, when König, this big, broad, controlling and protective giant is the one who needs protection and support?
She feels so out of her element and at the same time feels such a relief when the eternal masculine monument of power finally crumbles, even if just a little, and she gets to caress his head and soothe König during his breakdown.
Then back to their “preferred” gender roles they go, König clears his throat and Engel cooks another dinner, giggles in his lap while he treats her like a fragile little princess…
Gahh I want Engel to try on his hood and like choke him a little in bed or something while König looks up at her with the tiniest tinge of submissive adoration. Also, why can’t these two just be normal and work their way out of their stupid problems in a healthy way lol… (I wouldn’t have anything but wholesome fluff to write then would I!)
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