#i hate new englanders they are the Fucking Worst
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husbeast told me today that when we started having money problems, all but one of his friends just vanished. and when i say that i would vaporize them all in an instant if i could, i’m not fucking kidding.
if your friends being poor is that much of a fucking problem, do everyone a good turn and cave your fucking asshole insensitive bitch ass head in with a hammer, k? k.
#i hate u and i actively hope u suffer :)#i hope u lose all your fucking money and get to know what it’s like to be abandoned by the people who r supposed to care about u#money turns people into selfish pricks#fr tho they all just dumped him like a bad tinder date and i am FURIOUS#that wasn’t it either they also basically forced him out of the club he built#i hate it here#i hate new englanders they are the Fucking Worst#fucking hayseed ass bitches#fucking Connecticut ass losers#i DESPISE how cliquey that group has gotten w the melding of other clubs outside Boston#it’s the fucking piss holes from ct#fuck connecticut#ct once again proving it produces the worst ppl u will ever have the displeasure of meeting#i wish i could smash them all in the face w a bat
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And if you wanna say why in the tags feel free to do so !
#gamer txt.#pokemon#you can specify between og game and its remake ofc if you only dislike one#we all know my least fav is SwSh because it sucks#it hurts my scottish heart it couldve been good yknow it couldve been really fun and then it was just somehow worse england#its the only pkmn game where i hate all the starters how did they do that how do you fuck up that bad?#its not even jjust me ny followers agree the galar starters were the worst#and ofc it fell to the new trend of excessively long intros and tutorials#can i please just play the game? can ppl stop fucking talking to me#alrhough ill give it props for being the only game without a forced catching tutorial i really thought they wouldve kept that but no i guess
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Main 4 with a s/o who watches Jersey Shore
warning(s): swearing
author’s note: i was watching jersey shore and thought about how kyle would react to his s/o liking it so here you go
Kyle ☆
- He thought you were trying to make fun of him at first
-He is so used to being made fun of for being half Jersey that he would be like “not you too”
-But when he realised you weren’t making fun of him he would get kinda embarrassed for assuming
-I could see him watching it with you only bc you like it but overtime I could see him start to genuinely get invested
-Thinking about having Kyle’s arms wrapped around you as you cuddle on his couch while you guys watch Jersey Shore together 🤭
- I feel like watching Jersey Shore would bring out the Jersey in Kyle and he gets really invested and start to shout stuff like “WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE DO THAT” while watching it
-Kyle yelling in a New England accent me thinks
-Overall very funny to watch with 10/10 would recommend
Stan ☆
-Is really confused lol
-He’ll see you watching and be like “what🧍🏻”
-does NOT understand why you watch it AT ALL
-Despite how much he does not understand why you willingly want to watch Jersey Shore he’ll take any opportunity to cuddle and watch something together
-Even if it’s Jersey Shore
-Like Kyle I feel like he’ll get genuinely invested if you make him watch it enough but he’ll never admit it
-He’ll complain about it the whole time but he always asks you when you’re gonna watch it again LMAO
-At the end of the day he just loves spending time with you so 8/10 very sweet (minus 2 for complaining )
Kenny ☆
-He LOVES watching Jersey Shore omg
-is so excited when he finds out you like it too
-Kenny is the type to plan out a whole day to just cuddle and watch Jersey Shore with you
-He’s so happy he can watch it with you bc I JUST KNOW the other guys rip on him so hard for liking it (save my boy)
-Eating takis while watching Jesery Shore with Kenny me thinks
-He loves being able to share an interest with you (and being able to shove his head in your chest while cuddling)
-Honestly the best out of the four dare I say 10/10
Cartman ☆
-Fucking hates it LMAOO
-We all know how much Cartman hates New Jersey and people from there (just look at how he treats Kyle for being half from Jersey )
-It takes A LOT of convincing and practically begging to get him to even consider it
-But don’t worry he caves and eventually watches it with you (only if you promise to get him snacks)
-As much as he hates he can’t help but get invested solely to make fun of them
-He’ll say shit like “why the fuck would they do that Jesus Christ Jersey people are so stupid 😒”
-Tbh worst out of all of them but still pretty funny 7.5/10 (could use some work )
#🎬 — nwjn z!#south park#south park x reader#kyle broflovski#kyle broflovski x reader#stan marsh#stan marsh x reader#kenny mccormick#kenny mcormick x reader#eric cartman#eric cartman x reader#south park headcanons
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be still, my foolish heart [2] - jamie tartt x reader
pairing: jamie tartt x fem!reader
word count: 2.7k
series warnings: lots of language throughout, some allusions to smut but nothing explicit, a LOT of fucking fluff mostly ngl
a/n: the response on the first chapter of this was so overwhelming in the best way. i'm literally beside myself that people enjoyed it! my current plan is to update this every other day and try and get some little blurbs and one shots out in between. have a fabulous saturday night my loves <3
series summary: when jamie gets called up to the england team for the first time, he's terrified. enter you, all smiles and swearing, and suddenly his only fear is falling head over boots for you.
previous chapter | series masterlist | next chapter
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chapter two - i swear i thought i'd dreamed her
“Is that all you’ve got, Tartt?”
“Oh you’re so fuckin’ on, Rife.”
It’s day four of training camp. Jamie is over the moon to find that the England lads are largely similar to his Richmond lot and while he’s not half in love with them like he is back home, they’re a good bunch of lads. They get on. They can rib each other endlessly and then enjoy a good meal. He feels far more at home than he could have imagined.
He hadn’t expected Ted to get quite so jealous when he was telling him all this on FaceTime the night before.
“It’s nothin’ like being at home, though, Ted. ‘Course fuckin’ not. Haven’t got a grandad screaming at me all the time, ‘ave I?”
That was enough to placate Ted, allowed him to get on with telling Jamie how everyone was getting on at Richmond. Apparently, Ted had originally called him to get some advice on hair care products, but Jamie didn’t buy that for a second. He knew Ted could tell how nervous he was before he left. He was so grateful to have a gaffer - and a friend - willing to make up a shit excuse to check up on him.
He was holding his own in the training sessions too. He knew he wasn’t first choice up front, and however much it might have irked him previously, now he was able to enjoy the prestige that came with being here. The feeling he got when he shrugged on his England kit every morning just like he’d dreamt about when he was only a sexy little baby.
He loved penalty practice with Rife, tackling Marko in a 5v5 and knowing he’d be tackled back any second. He knew they were training for what would turn out to be some of the most important matches of his career, but it didn’t feel like it. It felt like making a few new friends and dragging them down to the nearby pitch everyday to have a kick about. It felt nice.
Still hadn’t managed to talk to the City lads, though.
It was beginning to affect his play, too. When one of them would shout out an instruction to him, he’d do it without hesitation, wanting to make nice. But he knew that his own instincts got him his place on this team and blindly listening to others wasn’t going to get him any minutes.
Which was why he was stood behind a plant, outside the hotel bar, trying to figure out his move to just go over and talk to the fuckers.
They were nice lads. He knew that. They used to be friends, yeah, but he was a prick back then, so maybe they only liked prick Jamie and weren’t that nice at all. Or they hated prick Jamie and wanted nothing to do with him ever again. Or they thought he was a total joke who didn’t deserve to be there. Or-
“What did the plant do to you?” came a voice from behind him, which made him realise he was gripping the stem with a vengeance, “You need me to kick it over? I’ll do it, but you’ll need to be lookout.”
That playful teasing, that voice, was familiar. When he turned and found you, kind head of PR you that he hadn’t seen properly since your first meeting, he couldn’t decide if he was a lucky bastard or had the worst misfortune in the whole world. He groaned either way as he let go of the poor plant.
“I’ll water it later to say sorry, I guess,” he said, patting a leaf in a way that felt pretty pathetic, “You’re stayin’ ‘ere too? I haven’t seen ya.”
That wasn’t totally true. He’d seen you about once a day since that first day, but only around the camp itself rather than the hotel. The two of you had shared curt nods each time, a reminder of your first meeting, but each time these nods had been followed by easy smiles to each other.
Each time you’d been sharply dressed. A pencil skirt here, a trouser suit there. It reminded him a little of Rebecca, except for the little touches that he’d noticed you let slip through the professional facade. A beaded anklet, a pair of fluffy earrings. You were a ray of sunshine around the place, that much he had picked up on. The regulars at the camp greeted you as a similar breath of fresh air.
“Perk of being head of a department,” you smile, “How’s training treating you? Issues with the grass that you’re taking out on all plants in sight?”
There was a very loud sigh waiting in his throat. He could make up a lie about waiting for someone, or checking out the plants because he wanted to get himself one back home, but you’d see through any bullshit he offered up. And he didn’t really want to bullshit you anyway.
“More embarrassin’ than that, I think,” he admits, watching as your face falls from that teasing smile to something with more worry in it. It’s very hard to keep eye contact with you when you’re looking at him all concerned like that, “I’m gonna give y’ the option to walk away now, if ya want, so y’ don’t have to be part of it, like.”
He watches you make a face as if there’s an obvious answer to what he’s just said. Without thinking, he takes a quick glance back at the City players huddled around the bar to check they haven’t clocked him. Of course, you notice.
“I hope you know how mysterious and intriguing you just made this situation,” you say as you come to stand beside him, more behind the plant than you were, “Something to do with the lads in there?”
That big, loud sigh he’s been holding in manages to break free.
“Yeah, it is. Yeah,” he doesn’t even know how to say it without sounding like a sad sack of shit. You smell really good and it’s the first time he’s seen you in anything other than work clothes and you look incredible in cargos. His thought process is scrambled, “They’re all City, yeah? Sooo…we were teammates an’ then we weren’t. Now I’m…fuck, I don’t even fuckin’ know what I’m doin’.”
Part of him hates swearing like that in front of you until he remembers your penchant for swearing. He hadn’t looked at you when he was talking, but when he risks a look back at your face, there’s no more of that worry that had been there briefly. There’s understanding instead, and he likes it a lot more.
“You want to talk but don’t know how? Think they hate your guts?”
“Well, it’d be hard to hate these guts,” he says, words cocky but he doesn’t get the tone right and he’s quick to self-deprecate instead, “But yeah, that sums it up. Pretty fuckin’ pathetic, huh?”
“No. Not fucking pathetic at all, Just Jamie. Don’t call yourself that.”
You’re looking at him expectantly so he nods, a little confused by your ferocity.
“Good. Not pathetic,” you say again, for him or for you, he isn’t sure, “So, let’s get us a game plan. How about we go in there, order a drink maybe, definitely some chips, and I’ll wave them over after ten minutes. I’ll make up some PR bullshit, get the conversation going.”
He hesitates. Suddenly, he realises his previous plan was to stare at them all night through the leaves of this plant before running back to his room when they looked like they were about to get up.
“I dunno…maybe I should leave it? Like, I’m making a big deal out of nothin’, really.”
“I think they’d appreciate you making an effort,” you insist, “I can confirm that they don’t hate your guts, if it helps. They’re decent lads. Warne is a dickhead, but he’s harmless. I’m sure you know all this, really.”
“You might be underestimatin’ what a dickhead I was, Just Y/N,” he laments, although the use of what he could now call a nickname between the two of you makes him feel better, “I was fuckin’ awful.”
“No, I know,” she says instead, and he wasn’t expecting that. His head snaps to gape at her so quick she actually laughs at him, “I watched Lust Conquers All. It’s trash but it makes you feel better about yourself, you know? And yeah, you did seem like a dickhead, but you don’t seem like one now. Anyone with half a brain would notice, so I’m sure even Warne will realise you’re not coming at them from the same place you were at.”
It’s a lot to process. Firstly, that yet another person has watched that godforsaken fucking show and it’s you and he feels like a total idiot in front of you now. But then he registers the rest of it, that in such a short time you’ve just proclaimed that he’d obviously not like that anymore. That he’s changed. He knows he has, but he doesn’t always expect other people to notice straightaway.
“How the fuck did you watch that show and still manage to be so nice to me when we met?” he asks, because he can’t help himself. He wants to know the answer. Wants to know if you’re just like that with everyone, because that would probably be easier.
“Hey,” you lower your voice, “Richmond fan, remember? I’ve been to the games. Even a couple of the open training sessions. Everyone at Richmond knows you’re a different person now, right?”
He gulps. Nods.
“Yeah.”
“Yeah. So…I do too,” you’re practically whispering now. Talking to you is like having a piece of Richmond with him, maybe even more so than the playlist. You’re Richmond and you know the new Jamie. It means more than he should tell you to feel like he has someone on his side, “Also I’m pretty good friends with this guy at the club. Do you know Trent Crimm?”
“You know Trent?” he exclaims, louder than he should. You hush him, but you’re smiling as you do it. He repeats his question a lot quieter, “Sorry. You know Trent Crimm?”
“Yeah, he used to do some reporting on England, for a while. We ended up chatting quite a lot. There’s not many male football journalists out there worth making friends with, but Trent’s one of the good ones. He texted me to look after you, actually, so you must be pretty great.”
Now Jamie was really torn. On the one hand, Trent texting you to take care of him was really fucking nice for a man he hadn’t even spoken to all that much. On the other hand, there was now a sinking feeling in his chest that all this kindness was a favour to Trent and had nothing to do with him at all.
“Oh. That’s- uh, that’s nice to hear.”
“Oh fuck, that’s not why I want to help you!” you said quickly, like you’d read his mind, “I just saw you with the plant, wanted to check you were okay. I’m not just, like, fulfilling a promise to him or anything.”
That sinking feeling lifted. Especially because he liked that you wanted to make sure he knew that. He could feel little pieces of his confidence floating back into his body. They were on thin ice, however, when you tugged on his arm to follow you as you walked straight into the bar, heading directly for the City players as you did so. He had no choice but to follow you.
His first thought was that you really did look criminally good in cargos, and his second thought was that this wasn’t in the fucking plan.
“Boys! My City Folk,” you greet them, definitely going for awkward on purpose. The three players smiled and waved as you came to stop beside them at the bar, Jamie following behind attempting to look as cool as possible, “I do hope you’re not breaking any rules? I am a known grass, and I will tell Gareth.”
They laugh and Jamie joins in because then maybe he’ll be part of things. Also, you’re funny, and he can tell you know it.
“Don’t worry, Y/N, just water for us tonight. We thought if we came down here, it might at least feel like we were drinking.”
“And I thought there might be some girls to chat with,” Warne added, as expected by pretty much everyone who knew him, “None around until you showed up, Y/N.”
“You’re a fucking idiot, Warne,” you reprimand, though there’s enough teasing in it that he just grins, “Didn’t the others remind you this hotel is entirely booked out for England players and staff?”
“Yeah. But you never know who you haven’t met yet.”
Jamie snorts at that and it draws more attention to him than he’d like. But it’s an opening, and your eyes are wide telling him to go for it! So he does.
“Strangely profound for you, Warne,” he supplies, grateful when you chuckle and the other two City boys join in, “Hey, how about the next round of water is on me?”
That really draws a laugh out of them, even Warne.
“You were always a generous son of a bitch, Tartt,” Rocky smiles, clapping him on the back. Again he sees an opening and with you still looking at him all encouragingly, he wants to take it.
“Nah, I wasn’t. I was a prick when we last talked. But I’ve been told I’m slightly better now, sometimes,” he glances at you when he says it, but you look so fond he has to look away, “Anyways, what I’m tryin’ to say: I’m sorry for before. Hope we can start fresh, like.”
“Mate,” Rocky shakes his head, brushing him off, “We’re all good. Long as you don’t keep drifting offside when I’m trying to thread one to you, I think we’ll manage.”
“Yeah, and don’t beat me in the fitness trials, alright? That’s my time to shine,” Warne adds, and even he’s got a friendly look in his eye, an attempt to respond to Jamie’s obvious and unexpected vulnerability. The weight that Jamie feels lift off his chest is massive. He can breathe properly again.
“No promises, mate. I’m fuckin’ fast now. Lightning, me.”
And with that, it’s easy to fall back into the banter he was used to. When Warne has launched into a story about not being able to find a toilet in Ibiza, he turns to you to say a silent thank you, but you’ve vanished from his side. He tries not to let his disappointment show on his face.
Searching around for a second, as subtly as he can, he spots a flash of your cargos behind the plant he’d been so well acquainted with. You pop your head out when you see that he’s looking and shoot him a double thumbs up and it’s all he can do not to excuse himself from the conversation and run over to you.
But you’re already giving a little wave and walking the other way. He watches you until you’re gone. Lets his eyes linger even a little longer than that.
When he turns back to tune into Warne again, hoping none of them noticed his wandering eye, he’s so incredibly grateful that you helped him face his fear. That he’s got his wish, and can get back to the game he loves without anymore unfinished business hanging over him.
Alongside that gratefulness, is the tugging at his heart that thinks his position behind that plant wasn’t so bad, once he gained some company.
But he wouldn’t have flirted with you. He isn’t going to. Bad idea. Just talking, in a totally friendly way, would have been a pretty fucking nice evening, he thinks.
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next chapter
if you've got this far, i fucking love you!! <3 and if you're at all into real life football like i am (enough to be pursuing a job in the field ffs) then see if you can work out who any of the England players might be based on hahaha
#jamie tartt x reader#jamie tartt fanfiction#jamie tartt#ted lasso x reader#ted lasso#jamie tartt x you#jamie tartt imagine#jamie tartt fluff#jamie tartt series#be still my foolish heart
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Fluff Alphabet | Trent Alexander Arnold
Here is my fluff alphabet, give it some love and feedback please. This takes me a long time to make, so will really appreciate the love on this fic. Let me know what players you want more fluff alphabets on.
Word Count: 1,334
ANNIVERSARY - "Happy Anniversary" you smiled as you read the text and sighed also, knowing that you weren't with him today as he was in Europe. You were so upset but when a bunch of flowers arrived at your door, they instantly made your day even better.
BABIES - Whenever you saw a baby, you were so broody. You and Trent had always spoken about babies and how you would love children in the future. You knew he would be the most perfect father whenever you decided to have babies. When the time was ready of course.
COFFEE - "We haven't had a coffee date in ages, come on" you smiled as you suggested to Trent as your eagle eye saw a starbucks in the distance and you knew you needed an iced coffee. "You are the worst, anytime we drive past one you need one" you smirked. "Alright, guess you aren't getting one" you laughed as Trent's brow furrowed. "Well we are here now, so I suppose" he teased.
DATE NIGHT - Date nights were rare when you dated a footballer, but Trent always had the best ideas for what you did on date night. It was always so special because he put so much effort into your dates it meant so much to you.
EXPLORE - One of your favourite things to do was exploring new places, it had been one thing you loved to do. There was so much on this list that you'd both wanted to explore and made sure it was your mission to do so.
FLOWERS - One of Trent's ways of showing love was buying you flowers, not really having a reason behind why he got them. But they were always so beautiful whenever he bought them back or got them delivered whenever he wasn't here due to football. He always knew how to brighten up your day even when he wasn't here.
GAMES - You loved going to games, whether it was England or Liverpool, you love going to away games on your own and being in the middle of the crowd. It just felt so special supporting your man.
HOLIDAY - Holidays were one and the only time seeing Trent in the summer, he always made sure that you would do a lot to try and make up for how much time you missed when the season was happening. You were so excited to spend time with him and having
ICKS - The one thing you hated about Trent and was one of your few icks in the relationship. "If you slurp that drink one more time, that straw may be leading somewhere fucking else" you gritted your teeth as he coughed, your comments taking him by surprise. "Woah okay okay" he holds his hands up before gently pushing the glass away from him.
JUMPER - "Have you stolen one of my jumpers again? I can't find it anywhere" you turned around as you spoke to him as you had the jumper on. "Oh so you do have it, good job I love you because this is taking the piss now. I love that jumper" he asked you sternly with a straight face. "Well you're not having it back now" you shrugged.
KITTEN - You had told Trent that you had wanted a pet, desperately. So when Trent came home with a huge box, you were confused as he placed it in front of you. "Open it" you smiled as you opened the box to reveal the cutest black and white kitten. "Oh my gosh, she is so cute" you whispered as you placed your cat on your chest.
LIVERPOOL - You were the biggest football fan before you started dating Trent, so when you would go to games you were just so excited anyway to watch him at Anfield and travelling around the UK and Europe watching the team play.
MEETING - You and Trent met at a bar as you walked straight into him, say it was love at first sight. In your mind obviously, not Trent's. But you were too shy to say anything when you bumped into him. But you gradually worked your way over to talk to him more and more.
NAME - "So when are you going to be y/n alexander arnold?" the boys asked as you blushed. "I dunno, one day i hope" you shrugged as you watched Trent's facial expression. "Guess you'll just have to wait, gotta keep you on your toes" you laughed as the boys all smirked. "So much love from you there Trent" he laughed.
OCEAN - "Come swim with me" you shouted to Trent who was laying on the beach whilst you were standing in the ocean which was looking so beautiful. "You go, it looks so pretty" Trent smiled, shouting away as the beach was so quiet as it was still pretty early.
PAMPER NIGHT - You and Trent were having a pamper night, phones were off (not even allowed to do a sneaky photo for social media because Trent would kill you within seconds that was uploaded). Face masks were always your favourite especially when you had a full collection of them on hand.
QUESTION - When Trent popped the question, you thought he was joking when you were on a beach on holiday one summer. You were so shocked when he opened the ring box, taking you completely by surprise. Saying yes of course as you jumped straight onto him as you looked at the ring and grabbed him as tightly as you could.
RAIN - Of course the British weather being as awful as it is as always, you stupidly decide to go out for a walk which meant the heavens opened as it usually would. You were absolutely soaked as you ran as fast as you could in the rain.
SUNSHINE - You were laying in the sunshine as it hit down onto your chest as hot as he could be. "I could get used to this heat, it feels so glorious. It is a shame that we don't get this weather in England. But it seems lovely" he mumbled as he barely raised a look up as he was enjoying the sunshine.
TRENT - Life with Trent was amazing, working your job was something special you loved working on your photography and getting to do it within football was amazing also. You knew you were so happy with Trent and couldn't wait to experience more life with him.
UNDER THE STARS - You and Trent were laying under the stars in your garden, watching the night sky. "I love this, with you" you smiled as you rolled over to talk to him closely. "Me too" Trent whispered gently as he stroked your hair.
VICE CAPTAIN - You were so proud of him when he told you that he was becoming vice captain. This was huge for him, especially as he has been at the club for so long. When Trent posted it on his instagram, you were so proud of him and all the fans were too which especially warmed your heart.
WEDDING - The wedding wasn't for a while. but you were planning it all and had been for months. It had been a crazy few months, Trent was convinced that you were slowly turning into bridezilla. "We've had so many deliveries, how many things have you got. We are only having one day" you laughed as he was right. But you wanted it to be special.
X - The kisses he left you whenever he texted you were always adorable, he was just so cute.
YELLOW - "That dress is so beautiful on you, yellow is your colour. Ready" he smiled as he laced your hand in his hand as you headed to the car. You were going to the award ceremony
Zzzz - You and Trent were having a lazy day on the sofa after Trent had been having a busy week of training and a midweek European game. All he wanted to do was have a chilled day, laying on the sofa snoozing in and out of sleep.
#hayleysfluffalphabet#trent alexander arnold x reader#trent alexander imagine#football imagines#football imagine#football one shots#football one shot#futbol imagines#futbol imagine#football x reader
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I'm not replying to those posts because contrary to popular belief I'm not THAT much of a killjoy, I get that there's some degree of tongue-in-cheek, blah blah blah, but. just my two cents.
I'm seeing a lot of attention to jason & alfred's dynamic lately that's all "oh alfred HATES jason, thinks he's the worst, jason's the one that considers alfred family but alfred's classist ass hates him" and listen, by all means, insult alfred, I don't want this to come across as me looking like I give a fuck about how you talk about his character lol. he is not just classist but straight up praises feudal England as the "better days" ajskkdkd. but alfred was perfectly nice in his interactions during jason's time at the manor, telling bruce unprompted that he likes having the kid around, helping him with & praising him about school assignments... and there's "the delusions of alfred pennyworth" in gotham knights #34 aka that adorable, bittersweet story where alfred sees jason's ghost playfully mess around the house.
my point is that alfred is not a consistent character in the comics. you could say that about many people in detective comics comics but imo alfred is a particularly malleable character that functions more like a prop than an independent entity. I think you can unite all of those things into a compelling picture, if you cared to. that compelling picture is not gonna be "lol alfred hated jason and wanted that street urchin gone from minute one 🤮" like that's just... flat and banal. similar to the "lol tim hated robin!jason for replacing his Idol, Dick the True Robin, he hated jason and celebrated his death!!". it's just taken a fanon trend you don't like (alfred behaving grandfatherly with jason or being a Jason Understander, jason being "tim's robin" and all the titan's tower tropes that come with it. I get it, I find those boring as hell too), and going so far in the other direction in the name of "canon compliance" that you actually just land into a particularly baffling, irksome caricature that ignores canon just as much (not that I think it's going to take off, fic wise, just like I don't think "tim hates jason" has. because again, there's nothing there to pull from in a creative way, while the uwu fanon, like it or not, at least enables some level of inventiveness).
meanwhile, look. I don't incorporate whatever prime earth!jason does into my belief system as a general rule (unless it's good and I like it. that happens rarely), and either way at the current point I'm at there's very little to say about jason's view of alfred (which I'm sure will change when alfred is killed and gets canonised). there's that scene where he and tim shit talk his cooking only behind his back (waffles, iirc??), or one scene where alfred scolds jason for not seeing how much he was mourned or something, and then geoff johns tries to convince me it was alfred who put up jason's memorial case in the cave, as if there's a universe where that makes any goddamn sense. and to my knowledge, there's not even an equivalent to alfred's shitty inner monologue about kid!jason in UTRH, so those things don't even exist together (UTRH would have to exists in the first place lol).
regardless, focusing on new earth!jason, post-resurrection... I don't think he mentions alfred once. the very few times we get a peek into his mind (lost days) there's zero attention paid to alfred. he seeks out ways to connect with dick or tim (incredibly unhinged ways but, hey). and obviously bruce is the most important person in his world. but he never seeks out alfred, and jason was someone who reached out to people he wanted to connect with (again, in fucked up ways, we're not discussing that at the moment xDD).
I don't want to turn this into the reverse myself ("lol jason couldn't care less about alfred, it's alfred who has the messy feelings here"), which would be equally flat and banal. there's, again, a wide array of options to be taken with this information to put together a compelling dynamic. it's just that "jason holds alfred in the highest regard, over everyone else in the bat clan, and alfred thinks of him as nothing but a pest he's glad to be rid of from the get go" is not something that I see compatible with what I, personally, know and believe of canon.
#talking to the void#my thoughts#fandom nonsense#dc#dc comics#i need to sort through my dc tags and put things in order smh#dc thoughts#jason todd#alfred pennyworth
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dude but the whole face family is a mess of mental disorders and shit. At least if you want to nitpick. Australia and Murica are both ADHD, Canada a depressive lil shit, England is autistic and france bipolar as fuck. I'm still figuring out new Zealand so I can make bingo!
What happened to hi hello how are you 🥲
Im fucking kidding lets go
I have many thoughts on this topic. I just wanna say first that i dont really want to talk about specifically what mental disorder or whatnot each of these characters have. I have my personal hc that i keep private just cus ive strayed so far from canon or even the classic hetalia 2014 country stereotyping. They are my blorbos in the purset sense of the word. So, i feel like if i told you “yeahh murica is adhd on legs” i think it would come across as insensitive.
But on the other hand, in the past 2 years that ive been in group therapy on and off, i have come to be comfortable with talking about mental disorders and dont find it as triggering or offensive as i know some people do. Which is also very valid. People deal with things the best they can and when youre in the trenches of ocd, having a weirdo (me ✊😎) say a fictional character is going through it, it might not sit right. So i wanna keep this as non triggering as possible.
As almost everything i hc, this is something I’ve looked over. And i do agree to a point. Alfred is definitely someone who exhibits traits like excessive talking, impulsiveness, interrupting conversations, difficulty focusing at something that he finds little interest in etc etc. He is easily distracted and tends to find certain people boring. But he also does not have time management skills and he does not forget tasks and plans. Could this be adhd? Sure. Does it have to be? Of course not. So i tend to leave it up in the air. Some people might find comfort in interpreting it as adhd and some would rather stay clear. Both viewpoints equally valid.
I truly dont know about Jack or Arthur. Eleanor too. Honestly i dont really try to make up disorders for them. One thing i dislike is the labeling. If someone, even a silly character, does show traits of some disorder, id rather not have it outright mentioned. It can be cristal clear that Matt has a full on depressive episode, but let me figure that one out myself, chief. I am all in favour of making these fuckers complex and give them shit to shovel, but the moment we start throwing mental disorder labels around, i think the focus strays. But again, only my preference. To someone else, its a comfort.
However, as he is my knight of the highest order, my highest ranking babygirl, my worst punching bag: Matt is depressed as shit. He functions but, God, at what cost?
Does he have depression? Probably. Will i ever make a serious post about his depression specifically? Probably not.
Francois though. He has no disorders, no hardships or difficulties. Makes it easier for me to actively and effectively hate. We are currently negotiating a stalemate, as ive, just today, heard Sous le ciel de Paris after forgetting that song existed. Good fucking song tho. Willing to negotiate the terms of Francois’ surrender.
#ask meli#i passed my math exam today which i forgot we had :))))))))))))#genuenly proud of myself#anyway waht i wanted to say was if you want them to have soecific mental disorders no problem if you want to leave it vague no problem#fun to think about tho i agree#hetalia#hws america#hws england#hws canada#hws france#my headcanons
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https://x.com/halalcoholism/status/1781092014391734595?s=46
In my senior year, I read a book about a Khmer Rouge child soldier and survivor
He said heard his little brother died from starvation while asking where he was
Evil my friend pure evil
Psst, Jewish people, the left defense of the Khmer Rouge is what would happen if the Nazis didn’t attack England and France. Sorry I think people don’t understand that Nazis had a eat the rich mentality
Also people said the cia funded the Cambodian genocide
Oh leftists
The American agencies are INCOMPETENT AS FUCK
If we know about the cia connections to bin Laden, then anti commies cia hating people would put that shit down hard.
Seriously…do they talk to any working class American? I mean ever heard that in cops shows. The cops are weary when they learn the cia is involved?
Almost like the cia makes everything a living hell for the average American….hmm why did we go to Vietnam again? Why did so many Americans have to be at the mercy of Vietnam’s vets with ptsd with little to no mental resources again?
Why does the cartels have military grade weapons that no American civilians can buy?
Why didn’t the sniper try to kill lbj as well?
Why did the crack epidemic hit my community the worst? How the fuck inner cities thugs got military grade weapons too?
There a reason why American sci-fi since 70’s have an agency that based off the cia to pull middle fingers to. Not a Trekkie, but didn’t the next generation crate a federation cia call sector 9 or something?
Gonna run those tweets on their own, since that will bring discourse™
In my senior year, I read a book about a Khmer Rouge child soldier and survivor
He said heard his little brother died from starvation while asking where he was
Evil my friend pure evil
Fairly large Cambodian community in my town, I'm sure they'd love a word with the idiots that think the khmer rouge was anything but evil,
Psst, Jewish people, the left defense of the Khmer Rouge is what would happen if the Nazis didn’t attack England and France. Sorry I think people don’t understand that Nazis had a eat the rich mentality
They were a form of socialists so ya, not sure how many of them realized they were, but ya.
Also people said the cia funded the Cambodian genocide
Oh leftists
The American agencies are INCOMPETENT AS FUCK
They managed to pull off a few things in South America, they wouldn't have funded a communist state though, not one that small at least, need something that would be more than a minor annoyance for china or the soviets.
If we know about the cia connections to bin Laden, then anti commies cia hating people would put that shit down hard.
ya he was fighting commies, Afghanistan the graveyard of empires
Why does the cartels have military grade weapons that no American civilians can buy?
ATF gunwalking scandal Thanks Obama.
Why didn’t the sniper try to kill lbj as well?
Who would have gotten us stuck in Nam for years and years if not for lbj though?
Why did the crack epidemic hit my community the worst? How the fuck inner cities thugs got military grade weapons too?
That was the FBI, CIA operates outside of our border, allegedly. It's also a contributing factor to the black community having such a low vaccination rate during covid, alphabet soup news outlets never really brought it up because that's not a way to demonize white people so they don't care.
There a reason why American sci-fi since 70’s have an agency that based off the cia to pull middle fingers to. Not a Trekkie, but didn’t the next generation crate a federation cia call sector 9 or something?
I think there was a episode of DS9 that went into that when Sisko went back in time on earth, but don't quote me on that.
_________________
Got this one out at least, still waiting to hear if it's pick up day or not.
I'm gonna shitpost for a bit tho I think.
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Break For Your Heart P2
Cast Aside
taglist: @stuffireadandenjoy
For once, Simon wanted it to rain. He wanted the day to be covered by clouds and a light mist. Something depressing to match his mood. Yet the sky was sunny, bright and cloudless. A rarity for England, and for once Simon hated it.
It was the day Simon was sent to prison.
He never believed himself totally innocent. He was the one that led Gary on the hike. He was the one that led his guard down with the stranger. He was the one that watched and did nothing as that wicked man tortured his friend. He was the one that saved himself.
He was the one that abandoned his friend.
"Are you fucking listening?" A guard snapped, and the harsh tone of his voice dragged Simon out of his thoughts. Almost sheepishly, Simon shook his head, and the guard glared at him.
"I said to change and then head through those doors." The guard grumbled as he gestured vaguely to the pile of clothes Simon was supposed to change into. He did, rather quickly in order to avoid pissing the guard off further. That, and he felt rather exposed, having to change in a hallway surrounded by people.
He was led down another hallway, through several security gates, and another set of massive doors before they even came close to the cell block where he had been cursed to stay. As they entered the cell block, they passed a couple of people, one of whom was an older man with a calculating gaze. He watched Simon pass from under an old fishing hat, but Simon had lost the will to be curious, and instead let the man's gaze judge him as he passed.
The movies were wrong, Simon quickly learned. Here, no one jeered at him, no one shouted as he walked past all their closed cells. No, they all just watched him. Predatory and hungry, like vultures waiting for a fresh kill.
It disturbed him, how he knew they all believed he belonged.
"In." The guard leading him stopped towards the end of the block, gesturing towards a now open cell. His eyes kept nervously glancing inside it, and he shuffled on his feet as Simon didn't move.
"Get inside!" The guard snapped, yet kept his voice lower than a shout. He shot another nervous glance at what Simon realized to be someone already inside the cell. The other man was lying face down on the top bunk of the rather small looking metal bunk bed screwed into the wall. He had one leg dangling off, and Simon only barely stepped foot inside the cell so as to avoid awkwardly bumping into a potentially dangerous man.
Potentially. Simon had to mentally roll his eyes at himself. He was surrounded by the worst, surely this sleeping man wouldn't hesitate to put Simon in his place.
"Hands." The guard snapped once the cell door slammed shut. Simon turned around and allowed the guard to remove the cuffs from his wrists. The guard once again nervously glanced at Simon's new cellmate before swallowing thickly.
"You've got a new bunkie, MacTavish." The guard said, rushing through his words before quickly walking off. Simon shook his head, trying not to let the breath he had been holding shake as it came out. He turned, not quite sure what to do, but stopped when he realized his "bunkie" had moved.
The man was now on his side, facing somewhat towards Simon, his head propped up on one of his arms. Sharp blue eyes scanned Simon up and down, leaving him feeling exposed. A small smirk danced on the man's lips as his eyes lingered on Simon's torso, yet Simon didn't want to know what he had been thinking. A loose strand of dark hair fell over the man's brow, leading Simon to realize he had a mohawk.
"Welcome to our wee slice o' hell."
#prison break au#break for your heart#it's unhinged!soap time#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#soapghost#ghostsoap#call of duty
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Incantatrice
Chapter 13
Taglsit:@thegreatdragonfruta @zablife @babayaga67 @wandawiccan60
Gif by:@hicktown-orchestra
Eva is better now that she has their sweet Rosalba in her arms.
Things have been better, too good if you ask her.
Even if Eva has not had an episode in months, she acts as if it will all come back the second she drops her guard.
But she is better, happy and Luca is relieved to know the worst is over.
Perhaps in a year or so they’ll break the tie and have another baby. This one born in Birmingham or London while they rule the empire his father lost thanks to Angel’s lack of ambition.
“What happened to the nanny?” he asks when he finds his maga changing into a different dress after their sweet Rosina threw up on the previous one.
They were running late for their dinner reservation, and while he did not mind getting a quick look at what he’d be taking off her when they got back, Luca needed to confirm why Carmen is gone.
“I fired her.” she answered as she shimmied into a burgundy velvet dress that matches the shade of lipstick she wears and the red roses holding her low bun.
“Why?” he asks as his show ended when his wife slid the diamond encrusted dagger into the black leather sheath on her garter.
Luca knew the answer lay in Carmen being young and pretty and suggested by the Family who wanted to remind Eva what her place is.
Spinietta was growing tired of Eva’s influence and Luca’s growing power.
Unlike the rest of the consiglieri he can’t replace them by voting in a replacement.
If they get started on taking England, Luca won’t have to worry about anyone giving his maga the kiss of death.
“I do not share, something Carmen did not understand.” She gave him a wicked smile.
Dinner had been perfect, sure there had been no wine due to the presence of undercover cops, but what did they need wine when Luca is enough to make her feel drunk.
It’s been two months since Rosalba was born, but it feels like ages ago when she tries to remember when the last fucked.
“We’ll ruin the sofa, Luca.” She wouldn’t mind ruining the velvet sofa, but she does hate having to stop because Leonardito heard noises in the living room.
At least in the bedroom they can lock the door.
“I’ll buy you another one if you’re a good witch for me, mia vita.” He guides her on top of him, not at all surprised to find her garter hooks undone and her as willing as always.
“What if I want to be a bad witch tonight?” she asked coyly as she slowly undid the rest of his shirt buttons and got rid of his vest, Luca loves being in control and yet she’s never heard him complain when she takes the reigns.
Besides, she needs to remind him he is hers and hers alone.
“I’ll get you a whole fucking new set of couches then.”
It is barely midnight when the encore is interrupted not by a six-year-old boy nor a two-month-old infant, but by a telephone call.
“Let it ring, Eva. ‘s not important.” He said that and in the next heartbeat his wife lost all interest in letting him know she owned him in this life and the next.
“It’s your father. Somethings happened to your family.” Her warm skin goes cold with goosebumps under his touch.
And sure enough, Luca picks up the telephone and hears the last thing he had thought he would ever hear.
“Angel is dead. They killed him, those fucking gypsies killed him!” his father is stone cold on the line, and yet Luca knew Vincente Changretta had been crying even if nothing betrayed the steady voice vowing fire and brimstone on the Shelby Family. “We are leaving for New York once he is buried. I know you loved your brother, but I cannot lose you too.”
“I am so sorry, Luca. If I had known this would’ve happened, I would have not let them leave.” Eva holds him as he cries for the first time in years.
This time, she is the one holding him together.
This time, he is the one broken to pieces.
“I will kill the bastardo who did this, an eye for an eye, a life for a life.” He vowed vengeance and she didn’t dissuade him from it.
“You will avenge him; I have seen it. John Shelby and his family will pay for what they did to your brother.”
A week later, only Audrey Changretta arrives in New York.
His father killed by the orders of Thomas Shelby; Audrey escaped because his brothers had the mercy he had not.
Shelby claims one of them killed his wife so he killed Angel in his hospital bed, Audrey says they never sent an associate to his party and if they had had, they would have gone for John Shelby never the puttana Shelby married.
Who’s to say Shelby didn’t frame them to wipe us out? A man like that is never satisfied with what he has, Audrey said, and Eva stared at her in horror.
Eva who knows what they do and accepts it, and yet cannot stomach all the blood he will spill in this vendetta.
“The Shelbys will pay for this.” Luca vows to his stepmother and put on the signet ring his father wore until he died.
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Muse’s Matt Bellamy: ‘I felt that we could do no wrong. Obviously, we could’
By Mikael Wood in the L.A. Times (pasted because paywalls)
(Brian van der Brug / Los Angeles Times)
Matt Bellamy wrote Muse’s new album in a Santa Monica recording studio painstakingly decorated to resemble the so-called red room from “Twin Peaks.”
Crimson curtains, leather armchairs, black-and-white zigzag flooring: The 44-year-old frontman of one of England’s biggest rock bands reproduced every detail of the otherworldly chamber from the cult-fave TV show he remembers devouring during Muse’s first tour on a bus back in the early 2000s.
“It just sets a certain tone, you know?” he says, looking around the space with obvious pride on a recent afternoon.
Yet as Bellamy sat composing amid a thicket of electric guitars and vintage synths — including an old Roland model he says was the same used for the “Stranger Things” theme — what really inspired him was the tumult unfolding outside the studio, which he observed through an enormous one-way mirror in the building’s front wall.
This was mid-to-late 2020: Bellamy, who’s written for years about the menacing encroachments of technology and government, watched (without those on the street being able to see inside) as shops went out of business during the pandemic, as Black Lives Matter protesters marched through the city, as riot-gear-clad police and National Guard moved in to shut down demonstrations, as a man took up residence in a car parked right in front of the studio. Helicopters seemed to be circling constantly; a drone hovered over Bellamy one day as he loaded gear in through a back door.
“It was like being inside a scene from ‘RoboCop,’” he says now. “All the anxieties and the dystopian strangeness that had always been kind of speculative in our music — suddenly it felt like it was all coming true. It was actually happening.”
The result of his observations is Muse’s ninth studio album, “Will of the People,” on which Bellamy rhymes “a life in crisis” with “a deadly virus” and “tsunamis of hate are gonna drown us.” (Sample song titles include “Kill or Be Killed” and “We Are Fucking Fucked.”) But if the LP confronts a brave new world, it also knowingly looks back: Musically, the band—rounded out by bassist Chris Wolstenholme and drummer Dominic Howard—dials down the fluorescent electro-pop vibe of 2018’s “Simulation Theory” in favor of the harder, more guitar-oriented sound that made Muse a prog-metal sensation more than two decades ago.
Muse performing in Philadelphia in 2013. (Owen Sweeney / Invision via AP)
What are those so-called worst parts of Muse?
Probably a tendency to veer off and experiment in areas that we’re not very experienced in. Most of [2012’s] “The 2nd Law,” for instance — classical dubstep, weird clarinet solos, whatever else is on that album. I think we felt we’d achieved so much with [the 2009 hit] “Uprising” that we could do no wrong. Obviously, we could.
You produced “Will of the People” yourself after collaborating with the producer Shellback on “Simulation Theory” and with Mutt Lange on 2015’s “Drones.”
With people like that who are so successful, I think sometimes we’ve gone in the studio and been a little bit like, “OK, we’ll do just whatever you say.” In hindsight, I wish I’d been more involved and put more of our stamp on it. So we’ve kind of gone back to our safe space on this album. If we’re in complete control, it may not be the most cutting-edge or the most modern-sounding thing, but it’s the only way to guarantee that we’re gonna love it.
(Brian van der Brug / Los Angeles Times)
June 2020 was a heck of a time to bring a baby into the world.
I came to America in 2010 as a single person looking to experience L.A. for a bit — and, boy, have I had an experience. Ended up with a Hollywood actress [Kate Hudson], had a baby together and the whole cliché scenario of the ups and downs of celebrity life. Then married a Texan [model Elle Evans] and had another baby. Been evacuated from my house during wildfires. Then the pandemic and the full January 6 Trump meltdown. It’s just been an unbelievable period to be here.
“Will of the People” suggests it hasn’t left you terribly optimistic about the future.
It depends what your definition of optimism is. To me there’s a fighting spirit in the music, which is a form of optimism. It’s like the moment in “Rocky” when Adrian tells Rocky to win.
Do you think it’s clear to listeners who you’re fighting? In the new song “Compliance,” you’re singing sarcastically about people falling into line and doing as they’re told. It could be interpreted as an anti-woke anthem.
I never thought about it that way. I thought about it in terms of the rising authoritarianism that we’re now seeing is a real thing— Trump in this country, but also Putin and the China situation. These ideologies, I feel like we kind of tested the waters in the 20th century and realized that fascism and communism are both just absolute disasters and that we don’t need to go near that stuff ever again. And yet it’s emerging.
What’s your reaction to that?
I have an anti-authoritarian nature. My parents say that when I was a young child I was never very good at being told what to do. I don’t like the idea of vast centralized power that’s very far away from where I live. I come from Devon in England, which is a couple hundred miles from London. But when I went to see where my wife’s from in Paris, Texas, it’s like, Holy s—! It’s thousands of miles from the places of power in America. So the resistance to someone deciding how I should live who has no idea what my day-to-day life is — I can understand it, even though there’s a risk of it being hijacked by more extremist factions that have gone down roads I don’t agree with.
Have you considered becoming a U.S. citizen?
I have. Overall, I actually think the United States’ structure is really amazing, with all the different ways to make laws at the local level. It seems like every month my wife is voting on some sort of proposition. I’m looking at that going, Wow, England is so behind on that front. We don’t ever get to vote on policy.
The oddest thing about that late-2020 period where things in America and California seemed so chaotic and crazy was that I felt my connection deepening. There’s something going on here that is critical to what’s happening in the entire world. America has become a kind of center point for this idea that there’s an empire on the verge of collapse, and how do we save it? Or how do we know which parts to save and which parts to let fall away?
For some people — Dom, to some extent — it made them want to get out. But for me it had the opposite effect. It’s everything I’m interested in, and it’s massively creatively inspiring.
Has becoming wealthy shaped your political views?
I don’t think so. I remember all my feelings of what it was to be from a poor rural background with no opportunities and all the disadvantages. And I still have some views that would be considered pretty socialist by some. Universal health care is an obvious one; I can’t even believe there’s not universal healthcare here. I’ve also come to the view that maybe land shouldn’t be privately owned.
Can you relate to music that’s unambiguously joyful? Coldplay, let’s say.
Absolutely. Chris [Martin] is a friend of mine. I love what they do. I wish I could write more songs that enter the love sphere. But I think it might be against the nature of the sounds our band makes. When the three of us are jamming, it’s like Rage Against the Machine riffs are coming out all the time. I can’t imagine hearing those riffs with Chris Martin singing about peace and love on top.
What’s the happiest Muse song?
“Starlight” is pretty positive. I think “Verona” on the new album is pretty nice — little bit of “Romeo and Juliet” in there.
Do you think rock music is in good hands with the generation behind yours?
My 11-year-old son likes Slipknot and Metallica. My stepson Ryder from a previous situation [with Hudson], he’s 18 and he’s really into rock. He turned me on to Willow Smith.
Can you envision touring in your 60s and 70s like Paul McCartney and the Rolling Stones?
Yeah, but Metallica is the one that’s really made me think we could do it. The Stones and McCartney, they have universally uplifting music. But Metallica — I’m not sure how old they are, but they’re up there — that’s really heavy music and they’re still out there. The great thing about rock is that, even though the genre is largely irrelevant in the mainstream, you can actually grow old with it. You can make a real life career.
#Muse interviews#matt bellamy#muse band#Will Of The People#some parts of this interview were really interesting/slaps in the face#Like where Matt talks about feeling invincible roughly around albums 4-6#It did really feel like that (I’ve talked about this before): Muse could do no wrong. The world was at their feet!#When he says ‘we could’ - he’s obviously talking about T2L and the way fans weren’t too pleased with it.#That’s disappointing to hear though. T2L is hardly an album to be dismissed.#It’s literally the only direction Muse could’ve gone in after The Resistance#Idk I think they got caught up in an era where rock bands were dwindling and 00s guitar fans were resentful of that synthy sound#(I blame the EDM boom) and so Muse genuinely interpreting ‘heavy’ as a kind of sound not solely connected to distorted guitars#Fell on its arse when in fact it was brilliant. I see nothing wrong with e.g. Unsustainable; Matt is 100% right when he says it’s heavy.#And of course his thoughts on America and the America he sees around him. His take on it as a non-American. Quite interesting#And on production and why Muse self-produce albums#muse#WOTP
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Just Take Me Home Chapter one- Tia Kofi x La Grande Dame, Plane Jane x Nymphia Wind Summer in Italy college study abroad tour guide AU
FIRST CHAPTER OF OUR NEW FANFIC, JUST TAKE ME HOME, IS NOW POSTED.
La Grande Dame fled to Italy from France when she was only 16. She wouldn’t meet the hilarious, corny Jane and quiet, reserved Gothy for another two years. This would be their third summer together guiding a group of college kids around Italy before they studied abroad.
Dada just wanted to get the tour over with, like always. Jane just wanted everyone to call her Plane. Gothy just didn't want to crash the bus. But instead they were met with Crystal, who just wanted to smoke on balconies. Nymphia, who just wanted to take cute insta pics. And Tia, who just wanted to enjoy time not spent in her suffocating hometown…
And she figured Italy would be the perfect place for a summer fling.
-
“I swear to god it was like something out of a fucking movie,” Tia giggled. In the front of the bus, Jane gave Dada her signature knowing look. Dada met her eyes, shaking her head.
“Any idea what they’re talking about?” Jane asked, brow cocked.
“Shut up, Jane.” Dada looked back to see Tia, head leaned against the window, blushing as she gushed to Crystal and Nymphia in a hushed voice. They sat next to her, expressions changing from dropped jaws to giddy smiles. Dada looked back at Jane, smiling. “She’s talking about me.”
A03 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55522132/chapters/140904223
MASTERLIST
Chapter one
solar power - perugia
come on and let the bliss begin
…
For Tia, August couldn’t come soon enough. Essex summers were always dull, the sun refusing to shine to its fullest potential. She was exhausted from ducking her head in stores, desperately avoiding the familiar faces of old classmates and coworkers. She was sick of Sunday dinners with insensitive family members who always had something terrible to say. There was something about England that diminished whatever light Tia had.
Maybe that’s why she applied for the semester abroad program at her University. She reasoned that since it was her final year, it would be her last chance. Not to mention the program would take Tia to Italy, one of the most beautiful countries in the world. It would all somehow end and start at the same time. The hiding, the sun always masked by clouds, the constant stares, it would all be over. But just as that all ended, Tia would be on a flight to Italy. Her family hated the idea, she knew they would, but Tia explained she would be home in time for Christmas. In the end, her parents knew there was nothing they could do, they always knew that about Tia. So they drove her to the airport, wished her luck, then left. And Tia almost wished it was harder to say goodbye.
July ran away from Dada. The days bled through the nights, the nights blended with the dawns, and before she knew it, she, Jane, and Gothy were packing their car for Perugia. She swore time had moved slower just last April when it refused to turn into May. She hated leaving San Martino Sul Fiora, the little town she had come to call home over the past four years, the Paris skyline and bustling streets replaced with rolling Tuscan hills and sweet Italian wine, the ringing laughter of her roommates. She dreaded saying goodbye to them just to waste her last month of summer showing the busiest, most touristy spots of Italy to loud University kids who never listened.
Dada met Jane and Gothy one of the first nights they had arrived in Italy, having to order drinks at the bar for them because they were too anxious to ask the mean Italian bartender in English. The night somehow ended with Jane convincing Gothy and Dada to join her tour guide company.
“Come on sisters, I know you’re overstaying your visits in Italy. You don’t need to be tracked like that.”
It actually wasn’t the worst idea, they weren’t the most unqualified people in the world. Or at least Gothy wasn’t. She had learned to drive the big tour buses in the Lakes District when she was just sixteen, needing to help her dad out when he broke his foot. It was very illegal, but the tourists turned a blind eye, thinking it was all some part of the European experience. But she was damn good at it, and kept doing it every summer until she moved to Italy.
As for Dada, she had visited Italy every summer during her childhood, staying with her grandmother at her vineyard in San Martino Sul Fiora. Her and Gothy made the mistake of telling these stories to Jane, who immediately told them to come work with her, that her company was hiring.
“Honestly it would just be nice to work with someone who can actually speak Italian. At least a little bit. Even if it’s in a very hard to understand French accent. And you’re so tall you could be like our bodyguard,” Jane looked up at Dada with begging eyes. And she just couldn’t say no.
While being a tour guide for a group of rowdy college kids was pure torture, they were okay at it, and it made them good money. This was the third summer Jane gently approached Dada and Gothy, asking if they wanted to be hired for another August, prepared for rejection. Every year Gothy said yes without hesitation. Dada always eventually agreed, but she always dreaded it.
“If you hate it, then stop signing up,” Jane muttered toward Dada as they loaded their final bags into the trunk of their shared car, Bianca.
“Oh shut up,” Dada laughed. “Gothy hates it too.”
“Yes, but I’m not bitching until I have something to bitch about,” Gothy explained.
“I’ll give you both something to bitch about,” Dada muttered under her breath.
“What was that?” Jane asked, daring eyes looking up at Dada, who towered over her.
“Nothing. We should go to bed. We wake up early tomorrow, and everyday for the next fucking month.” Jane headed to the front door without another word. Dada appreciated the stillness of the street for just a moment, knowing the next month would not include quiet moments like this.
Tia knew she made the right choice when the train entered the city. If she was being honest, the airport made her skeptical. But as soon as she saw the dark, deep, arched buildings and buzzing squares, she felt as the movie began to write itself. Finally, the best part of this semester-abroad program, the month-long tour of Italy.
On the train ride into Perugia Tia sat next to a girl in a yellow hoodie with pin straight long black hair. She was going to the same University in Perugia for the abroad program and said she was from Taiwan. Tia hadn’t gotten her name, but she seemed like she could be cool.
Professors from local colleges met with the tour group once they arrived at the hotel.
“After you all get settled, we have a scavenger hunt for you to do in groups. But feel free to treat this as a self-guided tour of the city. First team to complete the scavenger hunt, or the team with the highest score wins a bottle of wine per group member.” Tia’s eyebrows raised at the prize, suddenly hoping for a good team. A different professor started listing groups. Names Tia didn’t recognize started to leave her mouth in spurts of 3.
“Tia Kofi, Nymphia Wind, Crystal Methyd,” The professor read out. Tia looked around, not sure exactly what or who for. Her eyes fell on the girl from the train who was also looking around confused. Catching each other's eye, they began to walk towards the other.
“Tia?” The girl asked.
“Yes, Crystal?”
“No, ha- I’m Nymphia,” she laughed.
“I wonder where Crystal is?” Tia asked, Nymphia shrugged.
“Hope she’s not lost,” she joked. Tia chuckled, but kept a lookout for another confused face. Eventually, a student with a head full of dark brown curls and clear rimmed glasses approached the two of them.
“You must be Nymphia and Tia, I’m Crystal,” she said weakly.
“Yeah, it’s nice to meet you, we thought you were lost for a minute there” Tia smiled. Crystal furrowed her brow, looking confused for a moment.
“Sorry, I’ve just said that to about 5 groups now so I was really prepared for rejection,” Crystal sighed. Tia and Nymphia both laughed, once again to Crystal’s surprise. The laughter dwindled into a slightly awkward silence. Tia cleared her throat.
“So listen, I don’t know about you guys but I want that fucking wine.”
“Oh, me too!! We are winning that wine. No way the scavenger hunt is that hard,” Nymphia agreed, looking at the scavenger hunt sheet.
“I’m down too, but that wine is for us three gals and us three gals ONLY!” Crystal declared.
“Deal.” Tia and Nymphia agreed. The three rushed to their rooms to drop off their luggage as fast as possible. As soon as Tia tripped over her suitcase while scrambling up the stairs and Crystal and Nymphia continued to drag her up, she knew that this summer would at least contain some element of adventure with those two.
-
Dada was right to bitch. This group was rowdy. That was to be expected, all things considered, but this group was exceptional. Despite there being about a dozen members in the group, Dada noticed each person had something to say and the means to say it. It was annoying. Jane adored it.
“The world is coming back, Dada,” she said, watching as the kids got assigned into groups of 3 from the bus window. Dada refused to pay attention.
“You’re so stubborn, it’s stupid.”
“They do this every year, Jane. What am I supposed to do, act surprised?” Dada challenged.
“But look, these groups are going to fucking cling together for the whole semester they’re in this shithole-”
“See! Ay! You agree it’s a shithole!”
“Yeah, Dada, but they don’t know that. Let the tourists have fun then we never see them again in a month. Okay?” Jane asked.
“Fine.” Dada lied. Jane turned back to the window. “Come look at these three,” she chuckled. “They’re going for the win.” Dada peered out the window and saw only vague figures and curly hair.
“Kids,” she tsked.
“They’re older than us,” Jane muttered.
“Oh, by two years, maybe. Still childish. And always trust fund babies.”
“Or they’re just having fun? I don’t know sister, you came to Italy for a reason. So did they. Just let them be,” Jane reiterated for the millionth time. Dada shut up, turning her focus out the window. The three girls began to gather their luggage in a hurry. Dada could hear them laughing as they sprinted towards the entrance. She let herself smile and for once, Jane hid hers.
-
To absolutely no one's surprise Tia, Nymphia, and Crystal won the bottles of wine. After spending approximately a minute throwing their luggage in their rooms, they began the scavenger hunt. Most groups took over an hour, but it only took them 45 minutes. Having some extra time before they met their guides, they headed back up to their hotel rooms.
“Huh, we’re all neighbors,” Crystal observed. Tia chuckled, they must not have even noticed when they were throwing their luggage in. As she settled into her hotel room, Tia took out her phone to text her family a picture of the bottle of wine. Soon enough, it was time to meet in the lobby.
It didn’t take Tia long to spot Nymphia and Crystal standing awkwardly in the corner of the room. She joined them.
“Look at our tour guide,” Nymphia whispered, darting her eyes to the front of the lobby. Three stood. One extremely tall, maybe as tall as Tia. She was pale and her hair, which was extremely long and straight, was platinum blonde. Her face was impossible to read with her heavily winged eyeliner. The other guide was an entire head shorter, with wavy dark brown hair. She was clearly excited to be there. The other was even shorter with long black hair in a slicked back bun, wearing a vacant expression.
“Which one? The hot one?” Tia asked.
“No, not the tall one, the medium one. I bet she sucks. I bet she’s the absolute worst,” Nymphia muttered, not tearing her gaze from Jane.
“I don’t know about that, but the tall one is literally the hottest person I’ve ever seen in my life. I think I’m scared of her,” Crystal joked.
“They’re all probably fine,” Tia said, unable to tear her eyes away from the tall, blonde tour guide.
-
Dada and Jane looked out at all the students in their tour group.
“Weird bunch..” Dada observed.
“Interesting bunch,” Jane corrected. “Jesus sister… you ready?”
“Yup.”
“Great. By the way, I’m trying out a new nickname, please respect it. Please. Alright. Here we go. HELLO! Hi! Hi, can I get everyone’s attention!” Jane called, holding up her hand. Just like that, Dada lost the last thing she knew. Because this trip even ruined Jane. Jane took the role of being a tour guide far too seriously, her hilarious bitchy self being taken over by the cringiest, most enthusiastic Karen-like tour guide. With that being said, it didn’t even mean she was a good tour guide. “Thank you! My name is Jane, but you guys can call me Plane. And this is Dada!” Dada waved.
“Hi. I’m Dada. I am your other tour guide,” she said shortly. “Jane I am not calling you that,” she added in a heated whisper. “This is Gothy, our wonderful bus driver,” Dada had a whisper of a smile on her face as Gothy gave the group a short wave.
“Why does everyone here have weird names?” Nymphia muttered to Tia. She couldn’t help but agree, but was still wondering where the hell these girls were even from . “Plane” (Obviously Jane) was definitely American… probably from Utah… Maybe New York if Tia was being nice. But that Dada girl… Tia wasn’t sure where her accent was from, she knew it wasn’t Italian… maybe she was German…?
“It’s nice to meet you guys. We will be your tour guides and keep an eye on you crazy kids while in the hotel,” Jane explained. Her and Dada took the next five minutes to run the group through all the boring information they were required to go over before turning them all back to their rooms.
“We leave early tomorrow! No sleeping in!” Dada called after the group. Gothy turned to smile at her.
“I do suppose it’s nice to be back.” Dada just shook her head and followed the group upstairs.
“You only have to drive them. I have to deal with the bullshit. Also, do not call Jane that horrible name. She is so dumb.” Gothy let out a laugh as they turned down the hallway.
In every hotel, it was the same set up. There would be a corridor sectioned off for the group and Jane, Dada, and Gothy would get the three rooms on the very end at the exit. There they would have to sit until 12am every night to make sure everyone made it in their room safely. It was easily the most annoying part of their job, but necessary due to privileged kids sneaking out then getting lost or mugged. Dada had just finished settling into her room when three girls rushed past her doorway.
-
“Okay you heard the boss, we’re leaving early tomorrow. I’m pretty sure the first activity of the day is at like 8 am,” Crystal began, her, Tia, and Nymphia standing in front of their bedroom doors. “So I’m drinking my wine tomorrow night, because the next morning we’re just driving to Florence. Would you ladies like to join me?” She asked, and Tia let out a giggle, putting a hand on Crystal’s shoulder.
“Is it too soon to say I love you?” Tia asked, feeling like she was at summer camp. Crystal grinned.
“No, it’s not too soon! I love you sister!!”
“You two are weird. But yeah, we’ll drink the wine tomorrow night. Now, goodnight. I’ll see you dorks in the morning,” Nymphia said, and to Tia it just sounded like I love you. The three girls parted their ways, each of them going into their respective hotel rooms. Tia and Dada both fell asleep that night, wondering what the next day could possibly bring.
-
A loud tapping on Tia’s door woke her up in the morning.
“Rise and shine sister! Today is the first day of the best summer of your life!” It was that Jane girl again, going down the hallway and waking everyone up. Tia prayed it wouldn’t be this way the whole trip, endless early mornings after restless nights, but something told her that it would be. Was this tour about to suck? Their tour guides were a couple of 20 year olds who weren’t even from Italy, Tia was older than them, she was probably more qualified to lead the tour. She stood up quickly and opened the door. “Morning!” Jane beamed.
Her hair was perfectly pulled into a high ponytail, no slut strands to be seen. She wore a high waisted khaki skort and a light blue polo 👕 t-shirt that was perfectly tucked in. Her sneakers were chunky and so white they probably reflected the sun. How long had she even been awake for?
“Morning…” Tia yawned, rubbing her eyes. “Oh! We got a heavy dozer on our hands!” Jane quipped. Tia swore she was shouting.
“What time is it?”
“Eight! We’re meeting downstairs in an hour, don’t be late,” Jane said before moving to the next door. Across the hall the other tour guide, what was her name again? Dada? was also knocking on doors across the hall.
“Wake up! First day of tour! I’m not going to stop knocking until you open this door!” Dada called, continuously rapping on the door. She heard a chuckle from behind her, and when she turned around all she saw was a head of curly dark hair with dyed auburn highlights ducking behind a door and closing it. Dada looked at the room number, it was one of those girls who won the wine. The tall one. She already knew the exact type of group member she would be; loud, enthusiastic, and naive. She would be emptying her wallet at any and every gift shop she passed. Yes, Dada knew this type of group member and they were nothing but pains in the ass.
The door in front of her finally swung open and there stood another girl from the wine winners. Her hair was a mess with heavy bags under her eyes.
“Why… do we have… to wake up… so fucking early…??” The girl, Nymphia was her name, whined.
“You’re on European time now,” Dada said with a smirk. “I suggest you get used to it or you’ll be miserable.”
“I think I’ll just be miserable,” Nymphia muttered, closing the door.
“Meet downstairs in an hour!” Dada called.
-
“Okay, we are only 30 minutes behind schedule and that’s okay! It’s really normal for groups to take some time adjusting to TOUR LIFE if you will! I remember on my first tour, it was the first night and I had NO IDEA what I was doing.”
“Talk about something else!” Nymphia called. Jane turned to Dada, a shocked look on her face.
“Just do the bit,” Dada shrugged as Gothy started the bus and pulled out onto the road.
“Okay! Moving on apparently! In case you missed it last night, my name is Plane and…” Jane held the microphone to Dada’s mouth.
“My name is too hard to pronounce, so you can just call me Dada.” She deadpanned. A few chuckles were heard throughout the bus.
“Kinky…” Dada tried not hear Nymphia giggling as Gothy reluctantly took the mic to speak.
“I’m Gothy, bus driver from the UK.” Jane was quick to continue on.
“I’m from America. I was born in Boston but took a gap year to come to Europe on a backpacking trip. When I made it to Italy, I fell in love and just… never left,” she explained before holding the microphone to Dada’s mouth again.
“…I am from France. I lived there then moved here. I am French, they are British and American, so naturally we are the best people to show you around Italy.”
So THAT’S where her thick accent was from, France, Tia realized with a grin. What was some French girl doing guiding them around Italy? It was then Dada first heard her bright laugh that cut through any room, any conversation. Her eyes flicked up to see the tall girl who ducked behind her door that morning. Dada tore her eyes away just as Tia met her gaze.
“We are just about at our first stop, The National Gallery of Umbria Art Museum. Take an hour wandering this beautiful museum and take in all that… art! Okay? Slay!” Jane said enthusiastically. Nymphia chuckled from beside Tia.
“Slay!” She mocked. Jane didn’t take offense though, in fact she grinned. Moments later they pulled up to the art museum and everyone began filing out of the bus. Tia couldn’t help but notice how Jane, Gothy, and Dada hung back, not leaving the bus.
“Are they not coming?” She asked, frowning.
“What? They’re not?” Nymphia turned, looking to see Dada and Jane both sitting on the bus stairs, passing a cigarette back and forth. “Whatever. They’d probably be annoying and make us read the plaques!”
“Ew… you’re probably right,” Tia agreed, though she didn’t believe that.
“Well I bet they’ve been come here thousands of times now,” Crystal supplied. “They probably won’t be with us for most of this stuff.”
“Well… that’s dumb. They should have to come, it’s their job!” Nymphia complained.
“I thought you didn’t like them?” Crystal challenged.
“I don’t. At all. But I still think it’s dumb. Tia gets it,” Nymphia said. Tia just shrugged, head turning back to see the tour bus in the distance.
-
“Well that was fucking stupid,” Nymphia huffed, walking out of the museum.
“It was a little boring,” Tia yawned. “Like, why were the lights so dim? And why did it feel like a church in there?”
“Exactly, Tia! You agree! You understand!” Nymphia laughed. Crystal just shook her head with a grin.
“Maybe if you read the plaques you would understand.”
“Boring…” they approached the bus, doors creaking open as Gothy opened them.
“Did you ladies have a blast?” Jane asked.
“No??? I almost fell asleep in there!” Nymphia said.
“What’s your name again?” Jane asked her.
“Nymphia. This is Tia, and this is Crystal.” Dada looked at the girl with the pretty laugh, Tia.
“Well, we’re going to a chocolate factory next. That sound better to you, Nymphia?” Jane asked, but with a hint of teasing in the back of her voice.
“A chocolate factory? We could’ve been spending all that time at a chocolate factory but we spent it at a dumbass museum?!”
The bus took off. It was a short drive to the chocolate factory, they honestly could’ve walked but Gothy wanted to get used to driving the bus around. Again, they dropped the tour group off without going with them. This time Dada noticed a glare from Nymphia, and a certain disappointment from Tia.
“How do they hate us already?” Dada asked, trying not to feel disappointed.
“Speak for yourself. That Nymphia girl likes me, I can tell,” Jane smirked, watching as the group walked away.
“I…I disagree, I don't think she does,” Dada chuckled lightly, Gothy joining in.
“Mark my words sisters. I can just tell,” Jane said, shaking her head.
“Whatever you say,” Gothy scoffed. When the group returned, they seemed in much higher spirits. Nymphia and Tia ran up onto the bus, smelling of cigarettes and rum balls.
“Hey! We have a problem with you two!” Tia exclaimed. Dada was shocked slightly, she hadn’t really heard Tia speak up yet.
“And what is that?” Dada responded calmly.
“You should have to come on the tours with us!” Nymphia exclaimed.
“Uhhh… why?” Jane asked, head cocked at Nymphia. Nymphia looked at her in disbelief.
“Because you’re our TOUR GUIDES. It’s your job.”
“Well, we’ll come with you to the next event, lunch!”
They drove to a small little restaurant for lunch, pushing tables together to fit everyone. “Okay, so now we wanna hear about you guys!” The group went around telling their names and some random facts about themselves. There were students from all around the world in their group, including a couple guys from Germany and some loud girl from Florida named Vanjie. She had to repeat her senior year of high school three times. And of course plenty more kids that Dada paid no attention to. Instead she zoned out, only coming back to reality when Tia spoke up.
“I’m Tia. I’m from England, uhh from Essex. I’m in my final year at Nottingham University. I came here to…” Tia suddenly was very aware of Dada’s eyes on her, lingering. Why was she so beautiful, so perfect? It was too intimidating. “Well I’ve been excited to do a semester abroad basically the second I learned what one was.”
Dada finally broke her gaze from Tia. They finished going around the group, learning that Crystal was from Missouri and Nymphia was from Taiwan.
“That’s so cool!” Jane exclaimed.
“Yeah. It is. And you’re not even joining us on the best part,” Nymphia said, arms crossed round her chest.
“You think the tour is the best part?” Jane asked, sincere. Nymphia rolled her eyes.
“Obviously. Apart from the tour we are literally just doing school but in a different country,” Nymphia shrugged.
“I’m honestly flattered, Nymphia.”
“Wasn’t a compliment to you.”
“Just for that, maybe I’ll consider joining you on tour. I can’t speak for Dada and Gothy, but maybe.”
“Yes!” Nymphia and Tia cheered together, knowing already that Jane and Dada were a package duo. And maybe Gothy would tag along too.
-
“You have no backbone, do you?” Dada hissed to Jane once they sent the group off to have free time.
“Oh come on, it's a little tour around Italy. And I said I’d consider it… Besides, I honestly don’t think this group can handle it alone…”
“Okay, that I understand but… god I just don’t want to go. They don’t really care anyway, you know that,” Dada whined.
“Then don’t go. Whatever. These girls care. And I think that’s adorable of them. And hot of Nymphia. So you can hang back, whatever, it’s fine,” Jane replied easily. Dada scoffed, Jane knew it wasn’t as simple as she made it sound.
Tia, Nymphia, and Crystal on the other hand were clueless.
“I… I don’t even want to move,” Nymphia whispered. They had found a wall to sit against, smoking a pack of Marlboro golds Tia had supplied.
“Yeah… but our asses are gonna start to hurt in about 20 minutes,” Tia sighed but grinned when Crystal asked;
“Do you girls smoke? Like- weed??”
“Oh thank fucking GOD!” Tia exclaimed. “I was really scared I was gonna have to find European weed all alone.”
“I haven’t smoked weed since I was abroad in American high school!” Nymphia laughed. “But I will join you girls.”
“Oh thank god! Three is such a good smoke circle!” Crystal cheered. They swapped stories from uni and frat parties, talking about different types of trouble they’d all gotten themselves into until Tia noticed as the street got busier. Checking the time she noticed it was 5pm. Wow. Tia was not expecting that at all, time really does fly. They all ran to meet Dada, Jane, and Gothy at the restaurant they were told to go to for dinner.
“You’re late,” Gothy observed as they scurried to sit with the rest of the group.
“Sorry, we lost track of time and-,”
“Don’t care. Just be lucky we haven’t ordered,” Dada said, not looking up at Tia. She didn’t know why she was being so cold. She just wanted to say SOMETHING to Tia, even if she was an asshole. Tia turned away, trying to shake the weight suddenly pressing on her chest and the heat rising to her face. Her hot tour guide already hated her, great, just what she needed for the perfect summer. Tia tried to focus in on conversations, but she kept her mouth shut. She felt stupid, wandering eyes always landing on Dada who was twirling a fork in her hand, talking to Gothy and only Gothy. Maybe Jane every now and then.
Tia begged for a joke she could piggy back on, or an opportunity for her to swoop in and show Dada that she wasn’t some loser, not that it mattered what she thought. Dada sat glancing across the table the whole dinner. Tia surely hated her and was probably laughing at her. Dada knew she was acting uptight, she always tried to hate the group members. But something about at least Tia felt different, Dada hated that she had to take a jab at her. She hated that she didn’t know how to apologize. She hated that she wanted to know her.
They finished their dinner and began a quick walk to where Gothy parked the bus. Dada tried to walk by Tia, hoping that a conversation would somehow start and she could show Tia she wasn’t some complete and utter asshole. Why she even cared, she didn’t know. Alas, opportunity never came and they boarded the bus. The drive to the hotel was short, and Dada found herself going to sit alone in her room, telling herself tomorrow would be easier.
-
“Okay ladies, who’s room are we drinking in tonight?” Crystal asked, a mischievous smile on her face.
“Mine! Or anyone’s I guess. They’re all identical,” Tia said.
“I already opened my bottle, don’t ask when,” Nymphia muttered.
“You know what, I won’t,” Tia laughed. The girls all grabbed their bottles and slipped into Tia’s room. “I googled it, these bottles are worth, like, a hundred dollars each. That’s crazy.” Crystal stood using a bottle opener found next to the ice bucket to work the cork out of their bottles.
“Literally why is this so fucking hard??? Nymphia, how did you do it?” Crystal asked, dropping the bottle opener helplessly. Nymphia walked up and fiddled with the bottle opener for a few seconds until the cork popped out. “Ha! You’re dumb!” She teased.
“How?!” Crystal asked, jaw dropped.
“I don’t know, I think I’m just better than you,” Nymphia shrugged, flipping her hair. Tia giggled as Nymphia opened the second bottle with ease.
“Thank you, Nymphia…” Crystal muttered.
“Okay! A toast!” Tia called out. “To the three best mother fuckers here!” Nymphia and Crystal cheered. They all clinked their bottles together before taking long swigs. The wine was dry but sweet and nothing like the shit they had back home. Tia drank some more, clearing just to the top of the label. When she looked back up, Crystal and Nymphia were laughing, so Tia naturally started laughing too.
“I think… I think it’s gonna be a good fucking semester,” Nymphia laughed, lips stained red from the wine.
“I’ll fucking drink to that!” Crystal giggled, tipping the bottle back and taking another drink. Tia cheersed Nymphia again and they all drank (chugged) the expensive wine. Crystal wiped her mouth and looked at Tia grinning. “Where are you from?” She asked.
“Oh- uh- England,” Tia said. Hadn’t they gone over that earlier today? Crystal chuckled.
“Yeah, I could tell you that just by looking at you. Where though? I watch Love Island, I know the different spots.” Tia drank again. She could’ve sworn she said where she was from today…
“Essex, just far enough from London,” she supplied.
“Oh– how is that?” Crystal asked excitedly.
“Shitty sometimes. There are good spots, though. Good moments,” Tia said. She took another drink, hoping it would take the attention off her. Crystal took a drink too. Nymphia had been quiet for a while now. Tia and Crystal seemed to notice and looked over at the same time. Nymphia had cleared a good amount of her bottle already and was just smiling at the ground. “Nymphia? You with us queen?” Tia asked, giggling. She looked down at her own bottle. Huh. She must’ve drank quite a lot of hers as well.
“You guys are funny,” Nymphia chuckled. Crystal gasped.
“Nymphia! Nymphia you are funny too!” She laughed.
“Guess where I live! Guess!” Nymphia demanded.
“Uhhhh… Taiwan,” Crystal guessed.
“Yes! How did you know?” Nymphia asked.
“I didn’t. I just guessed the place you told us you were from,” Crystal answered honestly with a grin..
“Oh, that makes sense,” Nymphia replied, then drank again. Tia’s chest was warm and her lips were stained red. When she looked up, Nymphia was still drinking, eyes closed.
If there was one thing Tia knew when she signed up to go to Italy, it was she would have to pick someone in her tour group to have a crush on. She just knew it would be unrealistic for her to go to Italy and not at least try to fall in love with any random woman who looked at her just right, it was lesbian vacation culture. Tia had already considered Nymphia the second she saw her on the train. That dark hair, those mysterious brown eyes, Nymphia was the blueprint for Tia’s vacation crush. But alas, after actually hanging out with her, Tia realized she and Nymphia were definitely going to be nothing more than friends. Tia couldn’t even be bothered with Crystal, who despite being absolutely gorgeous and hilarious, Tia had a feeling they were too different but somehow too similar... The only other two people she had really met were-
“Hello?” Said a voice from the other side of the door.
“Oh god, I’ll handle this,” Nymphia muttered, words slurring together. Standing on the other side of the door were Jane and Dada. “Oh shit, hey.”
“Wow. Strong smell of wine in here sisters,” Jane said.
“We won it fair and square,” Crystal defended. Tia sighed.
“It’s 11pm, you have one hour until quiet time,” the crank tour guide, Dada, said from beside Jane.
“Plane is a dumb name,” Nymphia chuckled. To Dada’s surprise, Jane just smiled.
“Okay, Nymphia, ” she laughed, turning away. Tia and Crystal burst out laughing.
“Goodnight, see you ladies in the morning.” Jane shut the door behind her.
“That bitch!” Nymphia gasped. Tia and Crystal just kept laughing, slapping the desk.
-
Tia awoke to the sound of her alarm, “Dancing Queen” playing as she groaned, rolling over to the nightstand and quickly silencing her phone. She laid in bed for a moment, feeling absolutely miserable for herself. She was nauseous, definitely from drinking the bottle of sweet wine last night. Tia remembered she was in Italy, and that she was leaving for a month long tour of the country. TODAY. In an hour and a half, actually. Tia knew she had to get up, get ready to leave. But god, she really didn’t want to. She took ten seconds to keep her eyes closed before she had to get out of bed.
Tia tried to process the day she was about to have, she had no clue what the plan was. It only took about two hours to get to Florence, but Jane said last night it would take all day. Why? Tia hoped they weren’t gonna make them walk or something awful like that. Didn’t they have a bus? Whatever.
With her ten seconds long expired Tia flung herself out of bed. She then heard someone in the hallway starting to knock on all the doors, saying something to each room. A few seconds later, Tia heard two sharp raps on her own door, followed by a bright, wide awake voice;
“WAKE UP SISTER!”
It was obviously Jane, who Tia decided was just too much. She was surprised she got along so well with Dada, who didn’t seem to mind only Jane when she was being loud. Nymphia had already gotten a glower from her last night, Tia remembered. She bet Dada hated her already if she thought Nymphia was too loud. Whatever, Tia didn’t care. She finished getting ready, going through her suitcase before she zipped it to make sure it was still perfectly packed. She had half an hour to kill before the bus left, so Tia grabbed her suitcase and backpack and headed downstairs.
While it was no continental breakfast at the Holiday Inn, Tia liked the hotel breakfasts in Italy so far. She and Crystal sat in silence as they shared a plate of assorted pastries and cakes with weird nuts in them, (insert Crystal giggle) and different fruit Crystal forced her to put on the plate. Nymphia came down ten minutes before they had to leave, grabbing a banana and a glass of water, sitting down in front of Crystal and Tia.
“I wanna go back to bed,” she yawned. Crystal laughed and Tia leaned forward, patting Nymphia’s head.
“Poor baby, go back to sleep,” Crystal cooed. Nymphia just glowered at her as Tia laughed uncontrollably, already feeling more awake as she downed a second cup of coffee. “Tia make sure you drink water too, caffeine dehydrates you.”
“Actually that myth was debunked. So,” Nymphia said matter of factly, causing them all to laugh again. Jane came up behind Nymphia, who refused to turn and look up at her, eyes trained on Tia and Crystal.
“Morning sisters! Looks like you’re feeling good this morning. Are you ready for this trip to get started?” Jane was smiling, waiting for them to say something back. It was silent for a few moments. She was still smiling, waiting for an answer.
“No,” Nymphia muttered quickly, Crystal chuckled, Tia cracked a smile.
“Fuck you Nymphia,” Jane said, not unkindly. This caused the table to actually laugh, even Nymphia who turned around to look at Jane finally, a teasing grin already on her face. “Tell me where we’re going tell me where we’re going tell me where we’re going,” she said quickly. Jane just rolled her eyes, shaking her head at Nymphia as she let out a cocky laugh.
“Where’s the fun in that Nymphia? Let today be an adventure.”
“You’re boring and ugly,” Nymphia deadpanned, Tia let out a shout of laughter, Crystal laughed into her hands.
“...okay, real creative I guess. Be on the bus in five minutes. See ya!” Jane was unfazed, going to the next table to talk to a couple other guys in the tour group. And then everyone was on the big tour bus, easily spread out since they had the smallest group. Tia watched as Jane walked down the long aisle, counting every head. “Alright, that’s thirteen!” Jane exclaimed once she was at the front of the bus again. “It’s an uneven number which is too bad for partner activities, but it is Dada’s lucky number, so that’s great!” She said to the group, probably hoping for a few laughs. Tia, Nymphia, and Crystal threw her sympathy laughs.“That’s sixteen of us total, counting me, Gothy, and Dada. Okay! So… today we are driving north up to Florence, one of the most iconic cities in Italy. That’s only two hours away. But we’re gonna be making a couple stops along the way today, Dada and I have a couple of cool spots we want to show you. We’re gonna be doing this on every travel day, so don’t go thinking these are days to just fuck off and sleep on the bus. We’re trying to show you the real Italy, the Italy you’re gonna be living in. We want to show you as much of this beautiful country as possible, we want you to be able to soak it all in, whether it’s touristy bullshit city scams or you’re making homemade pasta in some local’s kitchen. Does that sound good to you?” The bus was silent, other than Crystal, Nymphia, and Tia, who were failing at holding back their laughter. Jane grinned at Dada who just rolled her eyes at Gothy as she started the bus engine. Jane held the mic to Gothy’s mouth.
“Let’s gooooo,” she quietly cheered into it, somewhat boredly with a ghost of a smile on her face. The bus lightly cheered, Tia, Nymphia, and especially Crystal the loudest of all. Gothy pulled out of the tiny hotel parking lot, and for the next half an hour Tia sat with her head pressed up against the window, watching everything in wonder, from the people walking the streets, the different shop fronts, or Gothy’s perfect turns going down the narrow roads, being forced to take turn after turn to get out of the city. Tia was surprised there wasn’t a more straightforward way out of Perugia, but she figured Italians were just bad at road design.
It took Gothy only fifteen minutes to navigate them onto the highway heading north, away from Perugia. But they didn’t make it far, Tia soon saw water peeking over the horizon.
“Welcome to Parco Regionale del Lago Trasimeno my friends!” Jane announced cheerily, her American accent never leaving as she pronounced the Italian name, the bus driving down the length of the huge lake, mountains rising above the sparkling waters. Gothy pulled the bus over eventually, parking next to the other tourists who were out exploring the lake. “Alright folks!” Tia let out a chuckle, she didn’t see Dada’s raised eyebrows, her quirked lips. She was too busy making eye contact with Nymphia who was rolling her eyes. “We’re gonna hop on a ferry, explore the island a little bit, and we’ll be on our merry little way! Sound good??” She asked the group, waiting for what usually got at least some cheers. But not this summer. Just deafening silence. Jane’s bright smile only faltered a little bit.
“Slay!” Nymphia yelled, obviously trying to be an asshole again. But Jane’s smile only grew wider as she slung her backpack over her shoulders, Gothy flipping the lever to open the doors.
“SLAY!” Jane cheered, bouncing off the bus as everyone followed, Tia, Nymphia, and Crystal not bothering to hide their cackles as they walked down the steps. “Dada, Gothy, you coming?” Jane asked once everyone was off the bus but the girls, who were hovering at the driver’s seat.
“No,” Dada shook her head twice, Jane just rolled her eyes. She went to say something but Gothy cut her off.
“I’m eating breakfast and emotionally preparing myself for the drive to flashy fashion Florence.” It seemed that only Tia, Jane, and Dada heard Gothy say that, Tia tried to look at Nymphia and Crystal to laugh but they were looking at the huge lake in wonder, not being nosy like Tia, she supposed.
“Whatever. Bitches.” Jane said with an easy grin, turning on her heel to face the group that had just been talking amongst themselves, some taking pictures of the lake. “Alrighty team! Dada and Gothy are gonna stay behind and guard the bus from thieves and mobs, so let’s go!” Jane bounded ahead of the group, her bright white sneakers bouncing off the hot pavement as she led them to the ferry port. “We’re only gonna spend an hour here, because honestly there isn’t much to do, you already had breakfast, AND we wanna spend way more time at the other spot. But this is still sickening, so let’s go!”
Tia got onto the ferry, looking back at the bus in the parking lot. She wondered if Dada was just gonna sit on the bus with Gothy the whole time, or if maybe they’d get out and find a picnic table, enjoying the light August breeze.
“Guys, should we throw Jane off the boat?” Crystal whispered, leaning into Tia and Nymphia.
“Yes.Yes.Yes.” Nymphia said excitedly, Tia let out a loud laugh, all thoughts about the bus forgotten. Soon the ferry reached the tiny island, and Tia thought it was cool enough. Apparently only 30 or so people lived on the Island, they walked through a small shopping mall and up a hill to some old church Tia was supposed to care about. Then they rode the ferry back and there was Dada and Gothy at a picnic table, boredly scrolling on their phones.
Soon they were back on the bus, driving an hour to Siena. Siena was a pretty enough city. Tia, Crystal, and Nymphia wandered the streets, gazing at the buildings above them in wonder with cones of Gelato in hand. But this time, both Dada and Jane stayed back on the bus with Gothy much to the girls' surprise, telling the group to just walk around the city and take it all in.
“When in doubt, get some gelato!” Jane hollered from the bus as they began to walk away. They didn’t come back to the bus until seven pm, their bellies full of pasta and way too much bread. “Nymphia!” Jane exclaimed excitedly the minute the three girls came into view. It seemed they were the first ones back.
“Why didn’t you come with us, you assholes?” Nymphia said bitterly. She had been bitching to Crystal and Tia about it all night, calling Jane and Dada horrible tour guides for just sending them off alone, that they should’ve been there showing them all the cool places, like Jane had promised to.
“Nymphia, I need to be honest with you. Dada and I never go on the tours. They’re dumb. We’ve done it all before, multiple times. Why would we wanna see them again?” Jane asked, and Nymphia just looked at her, dumbfounded.
“This tour isn’t for you to see things, it’s for you to show us things and teach us about them, you’re a tour GUIDE??” Nymphia said rudely. Tia and Crystal were laughing during the whole exchange, even Dada lightly chuckled at the last bit. Jane just folded her arms, posture straightening.
“Well guess what Nymphia? You’re the first person that’s ever complained to me about not coming on the tours with them, because I want you to explore and discover things with your own eyes and heart. Sorry you’re obsessed with me with or something.” Crystal had tears streaming down her face from laughing so hard. “And also I’m allowed to do whatever the fuck I want, and if you don’t like that, then fuck you,” Jane finished, and this time Tia, Nymphia, and Crystal just kinda looked at Jane for a moment. Maybe she really could hold her own against Nymphia. And then Nymphia just smiled, unimpressed.
“Alright, diva,” she said like it was nothing, and hopped on the bus. And of course, Jane followed right after her.
“How are YOU calling ME diva?”
It only took a couple hours to drive to Florence, but the time flew by. Tia sat with her head pressed against the window the whole time as the bus drove down windy roads, past rolling hills and so. many. vineyards. They had timed the drive just right, so the sun was setting behind the hills as they drove into Florence. Tia laid in bed that night, staring at the ceiling as she looked back, reflecting on her day. Her first real day of travel, watching the Italian countryside fly by on the bus, exploring Siena, riding the small ferry on the huge lake surrounded by even bigger mountains. It was all so beautiful already, and she knew there was even more of Italy’s beauty to be seen.
But all Tia could think about that night as she fell asleep in Florence, was why the hell weren’t Dada and Jane coming on the tours with them? What was the whole point if she wasn’t there?
I hate the winter, can't stand the cold
I tend to cancel all the plans (so sorry, I can't make it)
But when the heat comes, something takes a hold
Can I kick it? Yeah, I can
My cheeks in high color, overripe peaches
No shirt, no shoes, only my features
My boy behind me, he's taking pictures
Lead the boys and girls onto the beaches
Come one, come all, I'll tell you my secrets
I'm kinda like a prettier Jesus
Forget all of the tears that you've cried
It's over (over, over, over)
It's a new state of mind
Are you coming, my baby?
Acid green, aquamarine
The girls are dancing in the sand
And I throw my cellular device in the water
Can you reach me? No, you can't (aha)
My cheeks in high color, overripe peaches
No shirt, no shoes, only my features
My boy behind me, he's taking pictures (he's taking pictures)
Lead the boys and girls onto the beaches
Come one, come all, I'll tell you my secrets
I'm kinda like a prettier Jesus
Turn it on in a new kind of bright
It's solar (solar, solar, solar)
Come on and let the bliss begin
Blink three times when you feel it kicking in
That solar-olar-olar power
Solar-olar-olar power
Solar-olar-olar power
Solar-olar-olar power
Solar-olar-olar power (oh)
Solar-olar-olar power
#crystal methyd#drag race#fanfic#please read this we promise you’ll love it#nymphia x plane jane#nymphia wind#plane jane#tia kofi x la grande dame#tia kofi#la grande dame#grandekofi#kofigrande#rupaul’s drag race#planymphia#nymplane#drag race season 16#just take me home#student abroad au#rpdr12#au#very camp#i’m so excited#this isn’t the one ive been posting about that one got so sad that we needed to post this one to feel a little more alive#Spotify#drag race uk vs the world#lesbian au#lover’s fantasia#drag queen fanfic#rupauls drag race#ukvstw2
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Possibly controversial Doctor Who take: UNIT should never have been a military organization. I've always hated the idea of the Doctor becoming a stooge for human governments, and it's only gotten grosser as time's gone on... I think UNIT would be much more interesting as an independent research organization (hell, more of a glorified clubhouse full of nerds) rather than a defense taskforce.
Picture this: we start with Colonel Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart, shortly after his encounter with the Second Doctor and the robotic yeti. The whole affair's opened his eyes to a much wider world than he previously thought, and he's taken an interest extraterrestrial life and technology. At first, he thinks only of how this knowledge can be used to England's advantage, but soon it turns into curiosity for its own sake and a genuine urge to learn about other worlds. When another alien creature comes to Earth, Alistair just wants to talk to them if he can. So instead of shooting them on sight like the rest of his regiment, he goes out of his way to defend the alien. Alistair is dragged in front of a court martial for it, and even though he refuses to back down--the creature wasn't threatening anybody, and even if it was, it was still a cowardly move since they outnumbered it seven to one!--he's discharged from the army in disgrace. Severely disillusioned and having done some soul-searching for why he ever worked with those bastards to begin with, he starts to seek out like-minded people. People who are both disgusted with the military and curious about worlds beyond Earth. This leads him to Liz Shaw, John Benton, Jo Grant, and maybe a couple of honest-to-God aliens who've been going about their business unbothered. Maybe the alien whose life Alistair saved decides to join in as well. Together, they pool their knowledge, funds, and resources to found their own private research base to learn about all things paranormal and/or extraterrestrial. It's not a fancy or expensive affair--they're based out of Liz's house, and there's a big hand-painted KEEP OUT sign out front--but it serves their purpose. They don't bother gathering weapons or anything like that since they want to learn about visitors to Earth, not drive them away. The government and the greater Ivory Tower scientific community thinks they're naive at best and idiotic at worst, but they're long past giving a fuck. And when the Third Doctor is unceremoniously dumped on Earth by the Time Lords, the newly-formed UNIT shelters them and offers them a position as scientific advisor. Alistair might even be able to commiserate with them on "Oh, you were strung along by a bunch of close-minded shitstains who'd rather murder something new than try to understand it? Me, too, bud, let's go get drunk about it sometime."
And thus begins a grand, regeneration-spanning saga of protecting new aliens, sabotaging the military, recruiting old companions who want to carry on the Doctor's work, and giving both the Queen and the Time Lords an industrial-grade migraine. Because they're not soldiers--they're "idiots" with some books and a screwdriver, passing through, helping out, and learning as they go.
#There--I fixed your show for you BBC.#Now it actually makes sense why the Doctor and various companions would want to collaborate with them#and there's no awful interventionism and militaristic jingoism--*my* UNIT says 'fuck colonialist warfare actually.'#I still haven't figured out what the UNIT acronym would mean in this AU but I'll think of it. :P#Fuck just to drive the point home I'd even have some kind of exchange between Alistair and one of his former colleages--#'You threw away a promising career' / 'I sure fucking did and you can too if you stop shining boots with your tongue for a living'#And if you want to give a new excuse for the Third Doctor being earthbound for so long maybe the aforementioned unceremonious dumping#did a number on the TARDIS and Liz and the Doctor try to repair the damage during their downtime.#doctor who#alternate universe#the schemer speaks
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Hot Summer Nights
Jean Kirstein ~ Chapter One: Perpetual Summer
summary: Intro to my newest ongoing series centered around reader and Jean.
Cw: None!
You didn’t necessarily like doing it, but you didn’t hate it either. Being forced to be a camp counselor every summer by your parents so you’d have a little extra money for college wasn’t by any means the worst job you could have. A free place to stay, with free food, and lots of fun activities like canoeing and hiking, and you didn’t mind the company either. Every summer right after classes ended you were ritualistically shipped off to a high-end summer camp for kids of rich New England parents. But with those rich parents came pretty good pay, so you definitely weren’t complaining. Plus it was gorgeous, maybe you did like it, being shipped off here every summer. The view of the ever-expanding lake sparkling on the horizon from your window, the tall trees looming overhead providing just enough shade to relax from the heat. But returning after everything made you nauseous. The memories of the place were tainted by the hurt and pain of the past. Every time you walked through the doors, you felt a wave of sadness wash over you. You weren't even there yet and you couldn't wait to leave.
It was that time of year again, the beginning of summer and you’d just arrived at your favorite job, unpacking your things to put in the counselor's cabin with the girls you’d been working with ever since you turned 17, the age required to be a counselor. You were excited to see most of them, your coworkers. It was sort of like a breakfast club situation. You were all the best of friends at camp, inseparable even, but by the time the first of September rolled around and it was time to pack your things and leave, you wouldn’t hear a thing from them for a whole entire year. Your cabin mates, by request, were always the same, Sasha and Mikasa, whom you considered your best friends. Sasha was always going on adventures with you, sneaking out after curfew, skinny dipping in the lake, stealing things from the boys’ cabin. While Mikasa was more of the reasonable one, one to follow the rules and reprimand you for your shenanigans with Sasha while she secretly found you entertaining. But they were both great friends and you had butterflies in your stomach from awaiting all the campfire stories, late-night gossip, and who had a crush on who talk. It’s like your life was on pause until July 1st, like you were who you were meant to be in the summer, and you could tell this was gonna be a good one.
After the long ride on the hot crammed bus, you finally reached your stop after what felt like forever. Walking through the Cedar gates into the camp catching your first glimpse of the cabins by the lake, a sense of serenity washed over you, you were excited for this. You checked in at the front and took your things up to your cabin. Being the first to arrive between the three of you, you picked the bottom bed furthest away from the door but closest to the window as you set your things down on the scratchy, but endearing cotton bedding. As you plopped down to take a minute to comprehend where you were gonna put your things Sasha came barging through the door. “Hey, stranger! Nice to see you again!” She shouted throwing her things on the closest bed before plopping down on yours and enveloping you in a big, surprisingly strong hug. “Hey Sasha, I missed you” you giggle as she pulls away and rests her hands on your shoulders. “What are you doing just sitting in here all lame? Don’t you wanna go meet up with everyone and say hi? I heard Jaeger’s looking pretty good this summer” She tries to wink but fails and you laugh at her inability soon followed by the rolling of your eyes on the comment about Eren. Eren Jaeger, sure he was hot, but he was the camp’s resident fuck boy. If he hadn’t been with every hot female counselor here, he would be by the end of the summer and the thought of that just made you wanna puke. Sure the way the strands of his hair fell in his face when he was helping in the workshop was cute, and maybe he had pretty eyes, but he was a man-whore. Totally and completely off-limits.
No Eren Jaeger wasn’t the guy you’ve had your eye on for the past 4 summers, that would be equally as beautiful, significantly less disgusting, Jean Kirstien, your best friend. “Yeah yeah whatever Sasha, you know how I feel about Eren” you say with a sarcastic tone “I know I know, but Jeanie’s gonna be there too” she says with a kissy face poking you teasingly in your arm. “Hey Sasha stop you know Jean’s my best friend I don’t see him like that” you laugh at her “Mhm sure… Ohhh Jeanie how I love you” she says wrapping her arms around her body and making a facial expression like she’s kissing someone. “Mwah oh kiss me Jean you’re so-” Sasha was unfortunately cut off by the slam of your door opening, this would have been a fortunate event if it was anyone else but him. God, of course, it was Jean standing in your doorway with a dark blush across his cheeks, awkwardly scratching the back of this neck “Uh, they told me to come get you guys, um and uh let you know we’re all eating lunch in the mess hall I uh-” “Thanks Jeanie!” Sasha exclaims “So excited to see you! Have you gotten more buff over the past year Jean? Very impressive." she jokes poking Jean's bicep after hugging him. “Well, what are we waiting for let’s go!” Sasha exclaims, thank god for her strangely endearing personality for getting you out of that one and not having to explain why she was teasing you about him.
So you followed Sasha’s lead as she skipped down the trail to the large wooden building where you would be meeting your fellow counselors. As you made it through the doors and sat down at a table inside you were quickly sandwiched between Armin and Sasha, Jean taking his seat directly across from you. “So! I am so excited to hear about everyone’s year!! Got a girlfriend yet Armin?” Sasha asked enthusiastically. However, instead of Armin, Eren quickly piped up “He may not but I guarantee you by the end of the week I’ll have at least three of these bitches on my dick.” Jean scoffed and rolled his eyes at Eren’s comment while Connie laughed, that’s one of the things you liked about Jean he was sweeter than Eren, more sincere. “C’mon Kirstein lighten up, ‘m sure you could too if you weren’t such a prude this summer” Eren playfully punched Jean in the arm. “I’m not a prude Jaeger” Jean laughed as he took a sip of the water in front of him “Oh yeah? How many hoes have you fucked in the past year then huh?” Eren continued what was a very uncomfortable conversation to you “M not saying that man, c’mon” Jean playfully rolled his eyes. What did that mean? Was Jean being humble? Was Eren right, does Jean hook up with a lot of girls? “God you men are so crude” Mikasa rolled her eyes as she walked over with her tray to sit next to Armin. “Damn Mikasa looking nice” Eren winked at her. “Guys stop being so annoying” Armin commented “Yeah I’m with Armin can we please talk about something else” you attempted to say in a lighthearted, joking manner but your voice came out shaky like you were upset about something, which caught Jean’s attention. For this first time since you initially sat down he was looking at you, and it was the first time you had really looked at him. God he was gorgeous, the way his honey-brown locks framed his face, the expression of complex expression on his face, and the slight glimmer of his chain on his collar bones below his shirt. Shit, he’s so hot. Before you knew it lunch was over and it was time to go back to your cabins. The first week was always only for the counselors to set up and get everything ready before the campers arrived.
Everyone except you walked down to the lake to tell each other all about the year they had since last summer, but you just needed to relax, and take a walk by yourself. You didn’t think seeing Jean after everything that had happened last summer would be so strange to you, but it was and you needed time to process the thought that on top of the idea he’d been hooking up with other girls. So you lifted yourself off the creaky old bench of the table putting, your tray back where it belonged before exiting the doors and walking in the opposite direction of your friends. You were off on your walk alone, or you at least thought you were alone until you felt large, rough, calloused fingers clasp around your wrist from behind “Can we talk? Please” said Jean.
#anime#attack on titan#aot#shingeki no kyojin#snk#snk jean#snk x reader#attack on titan x reader#aot x reader#jean kirstein smut#jean kirstein#jean kirsten x reader#jean kirschtein x reader#jean kirschtien#attack on titan smut#jean aot#aot jean
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Getting to Know Me
aka. fine, @rmd-writes, you win. also, i think i saw @cha-melodius tagged me back, but i'm not sure about anyone else, sorry!
Relationship Status: as previously noted, i have a cat that hates my guts 70% of the time and a partner who thankfully does not appear to hate me, but is probably the most patient and tolerant person in the entire world (you have to be, to deal with me).
Song stuck in my head: wheels on the bus - WHY? WHY??? i don't even have a child! someone get it out.
Last song I listened to: i remember - deadmau5.
Three favourite foods: bread, green tea tofu bao buns from my favourite restaurant (so good i wrote them into a fic), bread.
Last thing I Googled: montalto.
Dream trip: too many places. i would love to go to canada, i've never been there. i'd love to see new england in the autumn/fall. i want to go back to brazil really badly and go further north than rio. i also really want to see parts of the pantanal. i really want to travel southern argentina and chile and see the tierra del fuego. i want to do more of central america and mexico. i want to go back to turkey. romania has been on my list for years and i've never been. too many places, too little time!
Anything I want right now: someone to tell me what to do with my life, because i'm at a crossroads and i have the worst decision paralysis.
If you could be any animal, what would you be and why? an orca - the solitary lifestyle is not for me, and these animals are so freaking smart and beautiful! also, imagine being able to travel throughout the ocean your whole life. the ocean is so big and we know so little about it.
Would you rather have the power to read minds or fly? i want to say read minds to soothe my anxiety but actually i think it would make my anxiety worse, so i'm gonna say fly.
not gonna tag anyone because i swear everyone has done this by now, but if you have any tips on how to work out what the fuck to do with your life, or amazing travel experiences that you want to share, please let me know. I love hearing about those!!! Also my ask box is always open for life advice or like...anything lol.
<3
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Can you please do one where Andy is badly injured in the England vs Scotland game. Thank you, love your work.
Worst nightmare
Your life was flashing before your eyes, with every blink you took your husband was falling closer to the floor with an added ounce of pain shown on his face. It had been going so well - Scotland 2 - 1 up with huge chances created by all the players but it all seemed to fade away. Your heart started to thud in your chest at the sights, there was nothing you could do to help. This wasn't good.
-
"I need to see my husband please" you frantically said as you found a medic waiting outside the first aid room. The match was still proceeding, the crowd screaming with hope and destiny for a result of there choice.
"Name please" the man sternly replied to you with his eyebrows raised.
"Y/n Robertson" you quickly said confidently as you just wanted to make sure your husband was in one piece. This was his worst nightmare - letting his team down, letting himself down and more importantly letting his family down. All you wanted to do was cradle him in your arms and fix every ounce of pain he had.
"Come through" the man bluntly said to you whilst pushing the door aside to let you through. There he was. Your one person in the worst nightmare he ever thought he could go through. The sight in his eyes held every fear in his mind, they where showing every naked truth in which shown how vulnerable his position truly was. You quietly sat down next to the bed in the middle of the cold dull room. Your hand fell into his immediately causing his fingers to tug on yours, his agony and urgency to have you around him shown his need for you around.
"Y/n it fucking hurts" Andy said as he pushed his head back into the soft pillow as his leg was getting checked on. Your eyes where glued to his face as it turned down into a sour expression.
"I know I know" you softly whispered to him as your lips came to the top of his head, his body fell soft at the gentle touch from yourself and for the first time he became relaxed.
"Right, you have pulled your hamstring so a couple of days resting your leg will do you good. I dont think it's best if you play the next match though but your recovery could progress quickly so we can see about that. Any questions?" The lady said to Andy as carefully and kindly as possible. You could tell she had been in this position one to many times before, you could tell she had been the one to tell them the worst of the news and all you wanted to do was say thank you and be grateful for the amazing job she was doing.
"Ok thank you" Andy bleakly said as his eyes focused on the cold tiled floor. You offered her a soft smile which you could tell a great deal of weight fell from her shoulders from.
"Thank you so much" you added also as she started to pack her things away and let herself out of the room. You let out a huge breathe, one you had no idea you where carrying.
"Do you think im a nob head yet?" You heard Andy announce from the side of you in the clear silence of the room.
"What? Of course not" you quickly replied back becoming slightly taken back at how much this was already effecting him. You came and sat down next to him with a soft smile and a heavy heart, you weren't sure what you could say because in all honestly you had never had this happen to yourself. Your hand fell onto his as his body became more relaxed at your touch, your warmth calmed him like no coach or amount of sleep could do, you where his tranquility.
"You don't hate me?" He added with a tight smile.
"No babe I really dont" you said with a giggle as you kissed his soft lips and held a gaze as you admired his prominent beauty. "I love you" you said against his lips as you felt his hand run around your neck and into your hair.
"I love you more" he replied back deepening the kiss. Andy would always be someone to worry about an injury and why not? He showed great deals of care towards his career and you couldn't help but admire that about him. He was your Andy, no matter what.
I hope this was the request you where looking for! Please leave feedback and comments as it greatly appreciated. @prettylittletrent @cornertakenquicklyyyy @trentsko @trentshoe @trentalexanderarnold @robbo38 @robbothegoat @kostasstsimikass @chelseamount @chloereddy @hnrfc @tsimikas2l @avenirdelight @blueathens @jordanhendersunshine @mrs-henderson @thatonesexycancerian @henderson1truelover @nyctophilic0vitnir @peekapeaches @tsimikxs @tsimikostas @trentalexarnofan @leddows @moneymasnn
#lfc imagines#lfc masterlist#liverpool imagines#lfc imagine#scotland fc imagines#scotland nt imagines#andy robertson x y/n#andy robertson x reader#andy robertson imagines#andy robertson imagine#footballer x reader#footballer imagines#footballers#scotland
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