you guys remember him? yeah. i do.

What is your writing advice for young people who want to write fanfiction and original stories in the near future?

If this is just Way Too Much, skip to the end (#16). My most important piece of advice is there. I also happen to think #5 is pretty good.

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1) Literally just write. Write whatever you want, and do a lot of it.

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2) You don’t have to post everything. In fact you don’t have to post anything. You can, don’t get me wrong, but it can be intimidating to sit down and think “I will now write something that other people will see and read and judge with their eyeballs.” Because that’s probably gonna lead to nerves and writer's block. Just write down the ideas that you have, the things you want to write, whatever’s in your brain that you want to explore and expand upon and make into something. And then if you want to, share it. Or don’t share it. I have plenty of half-baked ideas and documents and random story chapters and shit hidden away on my Google Drive that will never see the light of day, for a whole number of reasons. I wanted to write it but it wasn’t ~Spicy~ enough to warrant posting, or it’s only like an eighth of a good idea, or it’s like one scene with no story around it, or it’s just something incredibly self-indulgent I just wanted to write for my own enjoyment.

Point being, don’t write for other people. Don’t write so that other people can read it; write what you want, write for yourself, and then if you want to share it, do.

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3) You can pretty much ignore any and all of these for fanfiction. In fact, you can ignore pretty much any rules or guidelines you want for fanfiction. Fanfic is a sandbox. You don’t have to be a “professional writer” to post fic. No one expects you to be Stephen King or Margaret Atwood. Fanfic is just for playing in a fandom and having fun. If you wanna write a 50 chapter slow burn with very little plot aside from the OTP slowly getting to know each other, and no real stakes or central conflict, I guarantee people would read that. Really, fanfiction is the Old West of writing: lawless, wild, unpredictable, and free.

However, here are the rules you must follow:

-Separate your paragraphs. (I’m sure you know this already, but I’m gonna say it anyway just in case.) Do not post one big block of text. Make a paragraph break when someone new is talking, when the characters are in a new place, when a new event occurs that changes the scene, when a chunk of time has passed, and when there’s a major change in subject.

-I know it’s obvious, but... grammar, punctuation, and capitalization. They exist to make writing easy for readers to read, and more people will read your stuff if they don’t have to stop and try to figure out what you meant.

-Use tags and labels, as is possible with whatever site you’re using. Especially if you include possibly triggering content in your story. Again, I know it’s obvious, but it’s common courtesy. Bonus: tagging the themes and content of your story helps readers find it and read it :)

-If possible, limit the use of all-caps and exclamation marks / question marks. 99% of the time, one ! or one ? will do. If you overload the page with a lot of all-caps and long rows of exclamation marks or question marks, it hampers readability.

... That’s literally all I can think of. And, like I said, it’s all pretty basic stuff. You were probably rolling your eyes like, “Uh, yeah, Gwen, I know.” But that’s literally it. You can pretty much do whatever you want in fanfic.

That being said, here’s my advice for both fanfiction and original work...

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4) A quick and dirty rule for coming up with a plot, starting a story, keeping up pacing, or maintaining tension: figure out what dreams, desires, and goals are nearest and dearest to your main character’s heart (see #16). Then set up the main conflict to be directly in opposition to that goal. It doesn’t have to be in a tangible way, though it could be. But, if your main character wants more than anything to reach the ships on the southern coast of your world and sail to a new life, make sure the main conflict immediately prevents them from doing that - in fact, make sure to send them north. If your main character just wants to keep their loved ones safe, kidnap the loved ones. If your main character just wants to date their best-friend-turned-crush, make sure they think they have no chance - or, make them cocky about it, and make sure it makes Person B determined not to ever like them. You get it. Figure out what your character most wants, and then keep them from having that. Boom - your conflict now ties in with your character's motivation. It's like instant yeast for plots.

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5) If you’re anything like me, you want your first draft to be Good, despite all that advice about how the first draft doesn’t have to be good and it’s just to get words on the page, yadda yadda. And if you’re somewhat of a perfectionist (like myself), it’s easy to get stuck looking at a blank page because you don’t have The Perfect Words, and you want what you write to be Good the first time.

Here’s how I cheat that:

Instead of trying to write a Good First Draft from a blank page, hit the enter key a few times, skip a little down on the page, change your ink to red (or blue, or whatever - just something immediately identifiable as Not Black) and just thought vomit. Write whatever the hell you’re thinking, exactly as you think it. Don’t worry about it being readable, don’t worry about narrative flow for now, don’t worry about covering all the details, don’t worry about anything except either a) getting all the details of your idea out onto the page, whether that’s a lot or whether it’s just a sentence or two, or b) if you don’t have an idea yet, finding your way there.

Because this method is also very good for finding your way to ideas when you’re stuck in writer’s block.

Because of how human brains work, getting this stuff out onto the page - in all its messy, stream-of-consciousness glory - will likely spark more thoughts. As you write your original idea about the scene, it’ll likely spark more ideas. Creation begets creation. If you just start thought-vomiting your ideas onto the page, chances are you’ll think of more things as you go, and you’ll start filling out description or dialogue or tone or action or whatever, and pretty soon the scene starts writing itself.

Not sure where you’re going with the scene or which ideas you wanna use? Use a lot of ambivalent language in your “thought-vomit draft.” My pre-writing notes are chock-full of the words “maybe,” “perhaps,” and the phrases, “At some point...” and “...or something like that.” In this way, I don’t tie myself down to one idea; it’s just an idea, and I’m keeping it on the page in case I use it, but I might chuck it in the trash or change it or whatever.

And then, once your ideas for the scene (or story, or chapter, or whatever) are on the page, then go back to the top and start translating them into a “real” first draft. Use black ink, and start copy-pasting chunks of the thought-vomit up into the top part of the document and translating them into Draft 1. Separate out paragraphs where paragraph breaks should be. Add the correct punctuation and whatnot. Change “describe the lobby here - include potted plants, fancy carpet, blood stain, etc.” into an actual description of the lobby. Flesh it out, or condense, or whatever it needs. And if you’re still stuck, change back to red ink and ramble some more until you find a path that feels right, then plug that in. This keeps you from looking at a blank page, and it allows you to generate a kind of Draft 0.5, somewhere between a plan and a first draft.

You don’t have to use every idea. Like I said, jot down whatever comes to mind, put a “maybe” before or after it, and keep working. If the idea grabs you and you wanna keep expanding on it and exploring it, cool. If you just wanna jot it down so you don’t forget it and then move on, also cool. Red-ink draft / “thought-vomit draft” is your time to jump around in the timeline, add or finesse details at whatever point your brain moves to, etc. Don’t try to do it exactly in story order, because you will get tangential thoughts and ideas, and you will not remember to write them down five pages later when you finally get to taking notes on that scene. Trust me. On that note...

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6) Write everything down the moment you think of it. Seriously.

“I’ll remember it when I get around to writing that scene in a couple days / weeks / months (/years).”

You won’t.

Write it down.

Phone, journal, google docs - hell, my family regularly laughs at me for grabbing a napkin during dinner and scribbling thoughts down alongside pasta sauce stains.

And then, once you have it written down somewhere...

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7) Consolidate your writing ideas in one place.

Maybe this isn’t really your style, and that’s totally chill.

Buuuut, if you’re Type-A like me - or if you tend to be somewhat unorganized and you know you’ll lose track of your writing notes if they’re scattered across multiple notebooks, journals, napkins, phone notes, etc. - having one consolidated document of notes is a life saver. I keep mine on Google Docs so I can access it, add to it, and look through it for inspiration anywhere at any time. When I have one of those Shower Thoughts that I jot down on my phone or on a napkin during dinner, I set myself a reminder on my phone to type it up in my Story Ideas document later.

(Or, if the idea I had was for a story of mine that I’ve already started planning / drafting / whatever, I put it in the document for that story instead of the Big Random Story Ideas doc. You get it.)

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8) Have other ways to collect and save writing ideas, besides just writing stuff down. If you like Pinterest, make pinterest boards of your characters or stories or settings or whatever. If you’re big into playlists, make a playlist for your character / setting / story / etc. Or both. Or something else. I’m not good at drawing, but maybe you are, and maybe you like to draw your ideas. Whatever form it takes, having another way to save ideas and think about your stories is invaluable.

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9) Some writers can just start writing with no idea where the story is going, and they just kind of figure it out as they go. I envy those writers. And I do that sometimes for fanfiction, where the stakes are somewhat lower and the audience is reading more for scene-to-scene enjoyment (and to see their OTP kiss) than for a Driving And Compelling Narrative.

But here’s the thing: especially if you’re just kind of starting out, writing without some sort of plan is really, really hard, and will likely lead you into a slow, meandering narrative that will likely frustrate you.

Even if you think you’re someone that just can’t write with a plan (and again, I have the highest respect for pansters out there - I don’t know how you do it, you crazy bastards, but you keep doing you) - even if you think “I can’t work with plans, they’re too prescriptive, I just want to write and see what happens -”

Try at least making the most skeletal of plans.

Even if you have no clue what 90% of the story is, yet. That’s fine. But you need to have some idea of what you’re building to, even if that’s nothing more specific than a feeling, or a turning point for your character. Even if your entire plan for everything beyond Chapter 1 is, “At some point, Charlie needs to realize that Ed was lying to her.”

This is where those Draft 0.5 notes come in handy. Because, more than likely, working on your current scene that way will spark ideas for later scenes, which you can put down at the bottom of the document and save for when they become relevant. In my experience, the line between planning ahead and making a Draft 0.5 is exceptionally thin. One can quickly turn into the other.

If you’re really, really resistant to the idea of planning ahead, that’s okay. It’s not everybody’s style. But for the love of all that is holy, write down your ideas for future scenes, even if you’re a person that doesn’t like to plan and writes only in story order, because you will not remember that idea once you get to that scene.

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10) You don’t have to write in order.

Here’s the thing: I’m a person that can only do my Draft 1 in story order (meaning, chronological order). I just have to be in that flow; I need to write in story order for me to best channel where the character is at from scene to scene, both narratively and emotionally.

But my Thought Vomit Draft is another thing entirely. By using the brain hack of putting my notes in red (or another color, it doesn’t matter) and going down to the bottom of the document / page and taking notes there, and then integrating them into whatever plan I have, and then translating them into Draft 1 once I get there in the story - by doing that, I can get my good ideas onto the page (and expound upon them and let my muse carry me and ride that momentum while I’m in the moment of inspiration) without writing out of order.

Maybe that’s just me. But if you’re a person who really prefers to write in story order, that could be hugely helpful to you. It is to me.

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11) Emotion and motivation will do more for your story than technicalities of plot.

If your characters really care about something, and their journey through the (shaky or weak) plot is emotionally engaging, it will be a much more compelling story than a story with a “perfect” plot and unrelatable or unmotivated characters.

If your characters care about what they’re doing, and it means something to them, and their goals and actions are driven by dreams or fears or emotions that are integral to who they are, your audience will care too. If you have a perfectly crafted plot that hits all the right beats and has high stakes and fast pacing and drama - but your characters don’t connect with what’s happening in a way that’s deeply meaningful or emotional for them? You’re gonna have a hard time engaging readers.

When in doubt, prioritize character emotion and motivation over plot. Emotion is what drives story.

This power is highly exploitable. (Just look at pulp novels and shitty but entertaining movies.) You can even use it to glaze over plot holes or reinvigorate a limp narrative. Use it that way sparingly, though. It’s a band-aid, not a surgery. 

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12) Evil villains are hard to write - mostly because there are very few truly evil people in the world. (There are a few. Billionaires and several big name politicians come to mind.) But by and large, there aren’t that many evil people. There are plenty of bad people, but bad people have some good in them, somewhere in there. Trying to write an evil villain is hard, because they often turn very cartoony.

Here’s a tip: it’s much easier to write antagonists who aren’t evil. Even if they’re bad people. Of course, there’s no reason you can’t write a villain that’s just truly evil - a serial killer, or an abuser, or a billionaire, or someone who legit just wants to hurt people or blow up the earth or stay in control of an oppressed population, or whatever. But chances are, it’s gonna be really hard to make them feel real, and even harder to create a plot around them that doesn’t feel forced or contrived.

Instead, try writing an antagonist / villain whose motivations and goals directly clash with your protagonist’s - but not because they want to take over the world or see people suffer. Write an antagonist who’s chaotic good, but whose perception of the situation is completely opposite from your hero’s. Write an antagonist whose only desire is to save people, and who will do anything to achieve that goal - anything. Write an antagonist who believes in the letter of the law, and will hinder and oppose the hero’s methods even if they agree with the hero’s motivation. Write an antagonist who got in way over their head and did some things they regret, and now they don’t know how to get out, and they’re doing their best but whatever they set in motion is too powerful for them to stop now.

Write villains who are human. Write a killer who thought they were doing the right thing by taking their victim out of the equation, who vomits at the sight of the body and sobs over the grave they dig. Write a government leader who truly believes she’s doing what’s best for her people in the long-term, even if it might hurt them in the short term, and is willing to endure the hatred and belligerence of the masses if it means securing what she thinks is a better future for her people. Write a teenage bully that thinks they’re the one being picked on by the world, and they’re just fighting back, standing their ground. Write a scientist who will break any code of ethics and hurt anyone he needs to - in order to bring back his baby sister from the grave, because he promised her he’d protect her and he failed. Write an antagonist who is selfish and self-centered and capricious - because in order to survive they had to look out for Number One, and that habit ain’t about to break anytime soon.

Write villains who aren’t even villains. Write antagonists who oppose the hero because of moral differences. Write antagonists who are trying to do the right thing. Write antagonists who treat the heroes with kindness and dignity and respect and gentleness.

They don’t have to be good. They don’t have to be Misunderstood Sweethearts who “deserve” a redemption arc. They can be cruel and nasty and dismissive and callous and violent and etc. etc.

Just hesitate before you make them Evil-with-a-capital-E. Because evil is hard to write, and honestly, boring to read. Flawed human beings with goals and motivations that directly oppose the main characters’ are much easier to write and much more interesting to read.

Ask why. Why is your villain trying to take over the world? What does that even mean? Are they trying to create a Star-Trek-like post-capitalism utopia, but they know that won’t happen in a million lifetimes, so they’re trying to do it by force? Are they actually super in favor of human rights, but they got very impatient waiting for the world to do anything about poverty and war, so they decided to take it into their own hands? Are they determined to fix the world - no matter the cost? Are they terrified and overwhelmed, but committed to see it through to the end? Or - maybe they’re just doing it on a dare. Maybe they don’t really give a shit about world domination, they were just a mediocre rich white guy who decided to fuck around and find out, and now he’s kind of curious how far he can take this thing. And now he’s kind of an internationally-wanted criminal, so he’s kind of stuck living on his hidden private island in his multi-billion dollar secret base, strapping lasers to sharks’ heads for the hell of it. Gross, selfish, uncaring, and dangerous? For sure. Evil? Depends on your definition. See, now we’re getting somewhere.

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13) It’s tempting to let the plot control the characters. It’s easy to drop your characters into a situation and see how they react. But here’s the thing: that doesn’t drive plot. In fact, it bogs down pacing. Instead, try to build you plot off of your characters’ actions and decisions. Let your character build their own situation. Not to say it should go they way they wanted it to go; in fact, usually, their grand plans should go to hell very quickly. But having the characters take action and make decisions, and letting the plot develop based on that, is much easier to make compelling than making a rigid series of events and then trying to herd your characters into them.

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14) Having trouble justifying a character’s actions? Consider having them make the opposite decision, or having them approach the situation in a different way. For example: you need your character to go meet the bad guy, for plot reasons, even though there’s no way it’s not a trap. If the character goes, readers are gonna be groaning with their head in their hands, because c’mon man, that was really fucking stupid. But he’s gotta go, because the plot needs that. Two ways you might handle this: a) He knows it’s probably a trap. He decides not to go. The plot conspires to get him near the villain anyway. Or, b) He knows it’s a trap. But he needs to go, for (insert reasons here). So, he approaches it in an unexpected way. He brings backup, recruiting a side character we met earlier in the story. Or he arrives on the back of a dragon, because ain’t nobody gonna fuck with a dude on a dragon. Or he goes - early, and ambushes the villain. It may work, it may not. He may get himself kidnapped anyway. But it moves the plot along without having Stupid Hero Syndrome.

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15) This is a legit piece of advice: if all of this sounds overwhelming, literally just ignore it and write what you want. For real. Writing should be fun, and every single writer operates differently. If you’re sitting here like “I’m getting stressed just reading this,” just flip me a good-natured bird and get on with your life. I promise I won’t take it personally. Same goes for literally any other writing advice you see. Lots of rules and guidelines can very quickly make anything thoroughly un-fun. Just write. If you’re passionate about it and you do it for long enough, you’ll start figuring out the tips and tricks on your own.

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16) Here’s the best piece of advice I can give you: know your characters. More importantly, know what’s important to them. Build their personality and decisions off of that, and build your plot off of their decisions.

I see a lot of character building sheets that ask a shit-ton of questions like “What’s their most prized possession?” “Do they like their family?” “What’s their favorite food?”

And while these are good questions, my problem with this type of character building is that if you start there, with the little stuff, you’re building on nothing. IMO, to make a truly strong character (not strong like Inner Strength, strong like effective), you need a strong foundation.

Here are the things you must know about your character:

a) What are their greatest fears / deepest insecurities? And I don’t mean “wasps” or “heights.” I mean the deep shit. I mean fears like “living a meaningless life,” or “turning out just like their parents,” or “that no one will ever love them,” or “being powerless.” You may say, “But they’re really scared of wasps! They fall into a wasp nest when they were little and got stung so much they almost died!” Great! That’s a fantastic bit of backstory. They should absolutely be afraid of wasps, and that should absolutely be an impediment later in the story. But dig deeper. What about that event actually scarred them? Was it the helplessness? Stumbling around, swatting at the air, not being able to do a single thing to stop what was happening to them? Was it that they were alone, and no matter how loud they screamed, no one was coming? Was it the bodily horror of feeling themself turn into an inhuman creature as they swelled up from the stings, unable to move their fingers or face normally anymore?

And don’t forget insecurities, because those factor in, too. Are they deeply insecure about their identity? Do they believe, deep down, that they’re ugly? Did they grow up poor and they’ve always been really touchy about that? Why? Dig deep. Figure out what really, really bothers them.

b) What are their hopes and dreams? What do they truly want out of life? What do they consider the most valuable to their experience here in this thing called life? Is it the freedom to forge their own path and be independent? Is it the approval of their family or peers? Is it a home? Is it knowledge, or understanding? Spiritual fulfillment? Is it deeply important to them that they contribute to their community, or protect those they love? What do they need in order to feel truly and deeply fulfilled in life?

Figure out those two things (each one encompasses several things, btw, you don’t have to stop at just one for each), and then use that to inform how they behave and the types of decisions they make within the story. 

It also informs character behavior and personality. 

Let’s say we have a character who’s afraid of helplessness. They’re probably gonna be the person that always wants to do something, try something, no matter how hopeless the situation seems. They’d despise just sitting and waiting, probably, because it makes them feel powerless. They might even be the person that makes rash decisions and acts impulsively and puts themself in danger unnecessarily, because in their mind it’s better than being at the mercy of fate. This is one way you could use a character’s personality to inform their decisions, which in turn helps to inform plot.

Or, let’s say we have a character whose greatest fear is being left behind or forgotten. We may have a chatterbox on our hands. They might be obnoxious. They might love the spotlight, constantly vying for attention no matter the situation, because deep down they’re so afraid that they’d be forgotten otherwise. Or, it may go the opposite way. They may be so afraid of people leaving them that they’re terrified of bothering people. They don’t want to do anything that could annoy people, anything that might give people a reason to leave them. They might be exceedingly polite, quiet, accommodating. A push-over, really.

These are two nearly opposite types of personalities, both stemming from the same core fear/insecurity. You can go a lot of different ways with it. But if you build on that strong foundation, you’ll have a strong character, and a stronger plot.

Likewise, the structure of your story can and should inform the design of these character traits. If you need your characters to team up near the end, it may be impactful if you give your main character a deep fear of commitment, an insecurity about being unwanted or left behind, and make them highly value independence and freedom. That could make their team-up for the final battle very meaningful. Conversely, you can use your character’s deepest fears and desires to help design the plot. Is your character deeply insecure about voicing their opinions or taking a stand, because of trauma they faced in the past? Make them face that. Build that into the climactic third act. Give them the big inspirational speech where they stand up and talk about what they believe to be important, what they think the group should do. And then design that character arc to run through the story, giving you more handholds and stepping stones, more pieces of foundation on which to design the plot.

In this way, character should inform story as much as story informs character. It’s a feedback loop.

Bonus: if you build your character and your plot off of each other in this way, it automatically starts to build in the foundations of that emotional investment I mentioned earlier. If your character’s decisions are based on what they most want and do not want in life, you basically have your character motivation and stakes pre-built.

Note: you need to know these things about your villain, too.

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I’m genuinely sorry about the length of this, lmao. But you did ask.

Best of luck!

Edit: I forgot an important one:

17) Start when the scene starts and end when the scene ends.

What do I mean by that?

If your notes say “Danny asks Nicole out after school and majorly flubs it,” start the scene when Danny approaches Nicole after school. Better yet, cold-open the scene on “I was wondering if, you know, you’d wanna. You know. Hang out some time?”

Don’t start that morning when Danny goes to school, unless you’re gonna cover the school day in like one or two sentences. Don’t spend whole paragraphs going through the school day, unless it’s to cover other plot points first (in which case apply these same guidelines there), or if the paragraphs are there for a specific reason, like to illustrate how stressed he is and how it seems like every little thing is going wrong. Even then, trim the fat as much as possible. Expounding and describing everything Moment-to-moment is for the meat of the scenes, not the leading-up-to and coming-away-from.

Here’s my rule of thumb: study how and when movies cut from scene to scene. Movies have exceptionally strict, limited time for storytelling; they’re excellent examples of starting a scene when the plot point starts and ending when it’s over. If you can’t picture a movie showing everything you showed, start the scene later and end it earlier.

(☁️)

HIIII it's 3 am and i'm trying to sleep but brain went brr with ideas n shit and oh well- thing is ; i was wondering if i could make my first request? (smth simple if u want to, no need to be very long or anything + pls don't rush nd take ur time AND don't feel pressured to actually do my request :] ! ) maybe smth ab faceless art streamer! y/n [they/them]?? (if u could add that the reader is like an indie game dev or works for smth like that u'd be sosososososo cool omg) with maybe quackity, tommy, dream, ranboo, niki and/or jack?? idk brain did the storming and its all messy hsdnshhfjsjz (btw! i know it's a lot of CCs so feel free to remove some or do the ones ur only comfy with !!! take care nd stay safe !!! luv ya <3 (/p))

AS SOMEONE WHO LIKES TO GAME DESIGN, CHARACTER, AND PLOT DESIGN YOU BET I CAN MAKE THE READER AND INDIE GAME DEV (and aaaa ty for adding jack!!! I think he's really neat and not enough people acknowledge him :))!!)

Multiple x indie game dev!artist!y/n

pairings: quackity, tommy, dream, ranboo, niki, jack manifold (separate) x indie game dev!artist!y/n

pronouns: they/them

other information on the reader:

. faceless

. knows how to code

. artist

. streams them drawing video game characters

. minor

. makes indie / horror games

form: headcanons

genre: platonic, fluff(??)

warnings: horror games / horror mods, ranboo enderwalk lore in his section

abbreviations: y/n -> your name

quackity

okay let's get the obvious out of the way; definitely going to be the type of person that's like "I'm going to play this game first after you're finished" yk? playfully ofc, n playfully fight with anyone who says the same thing (*cough* Wilbur, tommy, dream *cough*)

he probably wouldn't be on your art streams often – he doesn't really enjoy watching people draw, but he would want to see the finished pics

he would happily be on voice chat with you while you're drawing though!! :D

would be proud to answer any questions you have about character / scene / etc designs!!

"quackity!! so for this character – check your dms for a current picture – would red or purple antenna be better? also, two or four antenna?"

"*gasp* you're asking me?? 🥺" /j

"y'know what, nevermind, chat wh-"

"NO WAIT WAIT"

"so what do you think?"

also, if you do end up sending him the finished pics of the art he will hype you tf up !!!!

would try to get you make joke games – not like actually, it's just an ongoing bit between you two!

if you make a game for him – or give him a sneak peek of a game before anyone else he's going to freak out!! and he won't really know what to say bc putting feelings into words is hard

if y'all ever meet up and you're fine w hugs he's gonna give you a huge hug, hoping that makes up for the lack of words to describe how just,, proud of you he is bc he really really is!!

you're not even in your 20s yet and you can make video games, or help with them?? not to mention how creative you are with the characters and story line??? he's amazed by you

might actually cry /pos if you base a character off of him

like let's say a part of a puzzle is to get a rubber duck and place it into a pond to get the next hint or thing you need – only when he plays it on stream, he doesn't know anything about the game, so you're watching and waiting for him to get there

when he does get there – he finds out the duck has a beanie and has a white ring appear around it that flashes to life before fading out after picking it up, signifying it was the right thing to get

at first he doesn't really notice the ring, "oh! that animation is different than normal" he notes, but mainly focuses on the beanie, comparing it to himself before he glances at chat to see them freaking out over the planet duck reference

then he's just talking about it, shocked of course but flattered, and then you type in chat "you helped me a ton with things I couldn't decide during this game, I couldn't not add you! :)" everyone's just :(((( !!! /pos

overall supportive n proud, maybe a bit loud about games in progress, but just a really nice guy in general :)

tommy

he is ABSOLUTELY loud about your games in progress!! if you don't want something said you have to tell that to him before telling him or else he's going to brag about how cool it is the next time he streams

"chat!! chat, y/n is making this new game and they told me that one of the outfits you can collect for the player is going to be based off me!- right!! that sounds pog!!"

if he ever accidentally let's anything slip on stream that he was supposed to say, everyone who's a fan of you is just like "wow! suddenly! I cannot hear anymore!", sometimes they're like that even if it was okay to say

the just like being surprised :)

as for art streams, he'll try his best to tune in but obviously won't be there all the time! he's usually very active in chat too! likes being on call with you while you do art streams if you let him!

he once convinced you to make a texture pack and a shader (meant for both to be active at the same time), the fans loved it and a lot of them use it more often than the original!!

tommy however, not to much, proud of you bc that must've been a ton of work!! but at some time it slipped his mind that you make indie and horror games; I think we all know he doesn't do well with horror games

so you liking horror and such made the textures look more ominous and just make it look like and area you don't want to be in, and the spook goes up even more with the shader!! it's darker than usual, there's unusual fog, the portals look too dangerous now, so on and so forth yk

so,, tommy didn't use the texture pack for long;;

if you ever raid him after you're done streaming and he has a question, he's literally just gonna ask you on stream

"y/n raid? oh! are they still here?" when you confirm you're in chat, he continues "great! okay I had a question about your new game that's going to be available soon and how to download it-"

fans love how casual you guys are about game information, like you had to teach him how to export a game character he made on the website you usually make yours on (it was for a fun stream) and it was just a simple back and forth but everyone's like omg :((( omg them :((

also if you're the type of person to go insane over tiny details in other games, he will absolutely tease you for it

like you can just be going on and on about how this game had a sentence at the start that had a backhanded meaning by the end and he's just gonna call you a nerd (genuinely thinks is cool how much of the small things you notice in games though)

dream

COMPLAINING ABOUT CODING AND HOW HARD IT IS 🤝🤝

and if you took other coding classes hoping that I'd help with video game coding he'd just listen to you talk about it

"I actually took robotics for a while before because the school didn't have any video game coding classes and I was hoping it'd help either way" "oh?" "it,, it didn't help, it's so hard to code robots and considering how fast I caught onto video game code you think it'd be easier to understand the robot code" "yeah, that sounds reasonable" "NOPE,, WHY R THEY SO DIFFERENT I ALMOST FAILED" "D:"

fanartists like those moments, if one of those talks happen expect a bit of fanart of just dream and you chilling while you talk and he listens, the art always gives off comfy vibes n it's just cute :)

offering him to play a semi-rough draft of the demo so that he could see if it's good or what you needed to do to make it more enticing for the player

power duo fr fr o/

people like comparing y'all to hackers sometimes bc y'all know how to code???

you play into the bit with the fans though and honestly it's so fun !!!

fans: omg,, hackers (affectionate),,,

you next time you stream: hacker voice; I'm in

AND THEY GOT SHOCKED??? LIKE THEY FORGOT YOU CAN SEE THE STUFF THEY POST????

wouldn't be able to watch your art streams for long because he would get side tracked, the streams are just too under stimulating for his brain to focus on, but he'd hang around as long as he could though :)

would be glad to be on call with you while you're doing an art stream – though if he has is game sounds on you may occasionally have to repeat a question that was aimed at him

you're also in his streams when you can :)

also, you like sending donations to communicate rather than chat

one stream dream turned off his donos because you wouldn't stop giving him money 💀

being friends with such a popular creator and being a game creator yourself has it's downs as well

nothing thats too hard to deal with – the most common one is actually kinda funny – some people will slide in your dms acting like they're dream and just got locked out of his account, trying to get you to make them a game

like ??? do they think that dream would mssg you over Twitter or insta?? he has your phone number bro ,😭

also!!! when dream plays through new games you made he complements the small things and complements how hard something must've been to code :)

and I'm ngl, he kinda sucks with every game he plays at first but he's a quick learner so dw :)

would be glad to help if you're having a difficult time choosing between things too! except he'll answer right away without any teasing

"dreammm" "y/nnnn" "for this area should I do like shattered stone walls or mossy stone walls like with vines n stuff?" "depends on the vibe you want, shattered stone would give it a dangerous and uneasy undertone and mossy stone would be more of ominous, if that makes sense?" "oh! okay, thank youuu!!"

ofc if you didn't have a specific vibe or couldn't choose which was better he would just give a straight up answer so you didn't stress out trying to choose one \o/

would absolutely like being a guest in a drawing stream, he isn't the best at art or character design but it's fun to see him try

maybe you both plus some friends do a "drawing Minecraft mobs from memory" stream? ,, with that the thing is; his would mostly be relatively accurate if you could understand wtf he was drawing 😭

dream may or may or have some of your art as his phone homescreen, he loves your style so much :(( /pos

ranboo

first off; he's incredibly impressed!! like!!! you made this game?? this playable game, completely from scratch??? how??

also you may or may not have made a small Minecraft mod for him to tryout on stream,, little gift from you to both chat n ranboo 🤲

its literally all based off his lore,, if you get close to obsidian and crying obsidian fallen down from Undertale starts playing, if you splash water on yourself 1) you get hurt 2) your screen blacks out and when it comes back, your in a different place than before, some things art taken, maybe a few extra things are added

and there's a 50% chance that when you go into your "enderwalk" state (the blackout) you blow something up, so there may or may not be an explosion somewhere nearby, you also have a 20% chance of building something small in you enderwalk state :)

he found it so incredibly cool!!! chat was crying while complementing you while ranboo thanked you and complemented you over n over again

he won't shut up about how cool the mod is for several weeks, maybe even a few months, it's just so cool!!

will absolutely use it as a comeback if you let him; "oh? you got first place? well y/n made me a really really cool mod, so who's the actual winner here?"

will absolutely play every single game you come out with – it doesn't matter if it's his style or not – and he thoroughly enjoys all of the games as well

as for art streams, he will absolutely try to tune in every time he can!! active in chat and donos!!

doesn't really like being in art streams – like in call is fine but actually drawing? not really, he just doesn't love drawing in front of a ton of people

but will join an art stream if you ask

will listen to you rant about whatever, even if he doesn't understand it! like will listen to you go on and on about how well a game set up the atmosphere or maybe talking about how difficult coding is, and he'll converse back with you but won't really understand yk?

"ranboo I just played a really cool game do you wanna hear about it?" "yeah yeah- of course!!" "ok so like, the atmosphere was so well put together- like it was a horror game and I didn't even see the monster but the vibe was so well put together that it was still unnerving!!" "that's awesome! how did the atmosphere get set up the best and when you saw the monster, was it scarier?"

yk what I mean? like engages in convo so you don't feel bad about talking so much, plus shows his interest without the constant "hm?" "cool" etc a lot of people do and even though he does talk more than the acknowledgment sounds many people make he also manages to almost never sidetrack you and when he does it's on accident :)

if your way of learning is teaching then he'll gladly be the person you teach it to if you want! most likely won't use the information therefore his brain won't retain it but that's not on you, and the whole reason is so you can learn, not him, so! ^^

will make sure to take care of yourself, and he has a through way of telling if you have or not bc he's known you for long enough to know that even if you try to hide it a little bit of your tired voice shows so he knows if you've been sleeping like you should

also friends with you on discord, where you have your Spotify attached,, you like listening to music while you work on things that aren't sound related and if it's active later than it should be he's going to confront you

overall wholesome mixed in with a little pain bc both of you are like "ah yes, lore <3" and like to see fans cry /lh

niki

I feel like this is expected but if you need to get extra motivation she would probably be your go-to

she hypes you up but like, in a sweet and quiet kinda way, where as everyone else here would probably be relatively loud ;;

honored to be on an art stream if you invite her :')

and would absolutely watch your art streams when she can :D hypes you up in chat

also compliments, tons of compliments!

might call you a prodigy? bc you're so young but can already make games?? and make income off of them?? and do really good art??? and so much more??? like tell me that's not prodigy energy,

if you make a video game character based off her she might cry,, like in a positive way obviously but like at the same time :(( no don't cry!!

I say might bc it's dependant on how she feels that day yk? like she might just have the almost-cry wobble to her voice or she might actually, if that makes sense?

she genuinely loves your art style!! even if it's pointy and kinda creepy she really likes it!!

yk the "awww (name) :(" /pos she does sometimes? 100% does that with you

there are a few compilations of just "aww y/nnn" on YouTube and all the comments on those videos are just crying over y'all /pos

would be happy to help if you're stuck between some options in a game, but would feel kinda bad bc it's your game, you're supposed to be the one choosing the stuff

assure her that it's okay n stuff n she'll be ok tho !

I can't decide if she would play your games or not

bc on one hand she's a huge supporter of you and your work and would like to experience it first hand

but on the other hand she isn't the best with scry games,,

so maybe she'd do both? maybe she'd react on stream to a playthrough, maybe your playthrough? or maybe she would only play some of your games? I haven't decided so up to you I suppose!

jack manifold

genuinely amazed by your talent and will make it quite clear!!

can and will go on tangents about you on stream if someone brings it up

everyone is so :(( <333 /pos bc of it

will play the games you've made as soon as he can

if there are different games that line up in a story he'll make sure to play them in order :)

people also sometimes compare you two to hackers bc you code a ton and he kinda looks like a hacker

difference here is that both of you play into the bit, it's tons of fun!!

listen, I know he doesn't draw much but I am a firm believer that he will doodle his favorite character(s) from your games after he's done playing them

like after he plays a game of yours then expect a small doodle in your texts :)

you compiled a bunch of these doodles into one picture and made it you phone background and he only found out after y'all met irl and it caught the corner of his eye and he registered "oh hey wait that looks familiar"

he found out while recording the vlog n when editing, the editor was like "hey let's leave this in, it'd be funny if the fans knew right?" ,, the fans were crying for two weeks,, /pos

and speaking of drawings; he would like to be on a drawing stream with you, thinks it's be tons of fun!! :D

and he's usually free to call while your streaming and doesn't mind so if you wanna talk to him while drawing just call :)

and he will watch the streams he can make it to!! he may leave a bit early but he stays for the majority of it

if you make a character based off of him he's going to constantly thank you and brag about how cool you are anywhere he can

"hello manifolders, if you haven't done it already go download (game name)! I'm there!" with a ss of his character from the game and he'll reply to the tweet on his alt to talk more about the game and how much he really liked it :)

another that'll help you were you need it! he'll make it into a joke before anything else, but he'll get to the point

taglist (sorry i forgot to do it on the past two): @cvsmixplant // @l0ver0fj0y // @youngstarfishdinosaur

info: lee jihoon/gender neutral reader, pg, best friends to lovers au genre: fluff, romance | word ct: 5.5k warnings: none summary: when it came to love, no one was prepared. not even jihoon, who could spend hours turning words into magic, especially when love was mysteriously delivered in the form of a letter to his locker. note: heavily inspired by to all the boys I've loved before, but with a twist! no love triangles or anything like that, so just enjoy awkward people falling in love! and thank you to @dreamystuffers and @starlightjoong for taking a sneak peek and telling me what you think!

tagging: @xfirebenderx, @moriiyun, @ohmygoshcheese, @gyu-log

Lee Jihoon, a genius in many ways, was never good when it came to words. At least, not the spoken kind. The kind that you had to think up on the spot, responses, answers, comebacks, small talk, he was absolutely terrible at it. But if you gave him the time to think, to really dwell on his thoughts, he could create something truly beautiful. Which was why he preferred to express his feelings with letters. And while, yes, he could pen something magnificent, the next great classic novel perhaps, he typically kept his messages short and to the point. Much like the man himself.

There was one time that he wrote a “letter” that was simply—

F U C K Y O U

—printed out on seven separate sheets of paper and taped to a row of lockers. All in response to a teacher confiscating his iPod. No one could prove it was him, though, and nothing happened in response to it. He never admitted to his crimes, and despite it being painfully obvious who the author of the message was, there was no hard proof pointing to the culprit. It became the most well-known secret at their high school. And Lee Jihoon became somewhat of a living legend because of it.

The only one who knew the truth was you. His best friend. You were his go-to when it came to proof reading all of his letters. He was the writer, you were the editor. Half the time you were also a berating parent, chastising him for trying to assault people with words. Which was also why, more often than not, his letters never got sent. He would sit in his room for hours, writing letters that were either half the length of novels or only a few sentences long, and after giving it over to be edited, it would get tucked away in his desk drawer. Never to be seen or heard from again.

See, Jihoon was an emotional person. Not in the sense that most people would assume, he didn’t get offended easily, one mean comment wouldn’t leave him crying, he was simply—emotional. Whatever he was feeling, whether it be good or bad, it was powerful, sometimes overwhelming. So instead of erupting like a hormonal volcano, which he had already done plenty of, he put his emotions to paper. At the behest of his aforementioned best friend.

“You can’t go around yelling at people.” You began one afternoon just after entering high school. “Even if you’re writing it down, you’re still yelling at people.”

Jihoon, the definition of “hard to read”, was visibly pouting. “You’re the one who told me to write down how I feel. Now I can’t even send these to anyone?”

“I mean, you can.” You backpedalled. “I’m not your mother, despite Seokmin’s insistence. I can’t stop you from doing anything you’ve set your heart to. All I can do is advise you not to because you’re going to have a terrible few years here if everyone hates you.”

He clearly wasn’t thrilled by your logical response, but he admitted defeat anyway. “Fine. Don’t send the letters that I write. I get it. No one wants to read them.”

You groaned loudly. “You are so dramatic. I’m saying don’t send the literal hate mail to people. Don’t send the stuff you write to vent out your feelings. But if there’s something you want to say to someone, something that you can’t bring yourself to say out loud, by all means! Send the thing! I know you loathe the idea of talking to people, you also hate being misunderstood more.”

He also hated how well you knew him, not that he would ever say that out loud.

That was also something he wrote down in a letter, one he decided to send.

You crumpled it up immediately and threw it back at his face.

“Letters are powerful things, Jihoon.” You added. “They can break hearts, mend souls, and change lives with nothing more than words. Because words mean so many different things to so many different people. You just gotta say the right ones.”

At first, he was only humoring you. Honestly, he thought you completely senile until he gave it a shot. After spending hours hunched over his desk writing things no one else would see, he was starting to realize that maybe you had a point. Instead of roaming the halls shouting obscenities in his head, he was able to reassure himself by knowing he could write about it later. Even the smallest grievance, he would write it down. He would sometimes scribble it down on the margin of a textbook if he was feeling particularly overwhelmed in the middle of the day.

The letters became his therapy, his outlet, eventually he could stroll past some annoying upperclassmen and not feel rage coursing through his veins. It was—nice, almost. Not being subjected to his own hectic imagination at every turn. Feeling at peace for the first time in what felt like ages.

Until he found a letter in his locker, one addressed to him during his senior year. From a secret admirer. The contents of which would be seared into his memory for the remainder of time.

Lee Jihoon, it began.

I have never been able to tell you how I feel, in person or in a letter. For several months now, I’ve tried. I’ve tried to write letters like you for so long, and I just can’t get the words right. I don’t know how you do it. So I’m going to do something different. I’m going to stop being scared. If you meet me in the courtyard after school, I’m going to be brave for the first time in my life. Please help me be brave, Jihoon.

Again and again, he read that short letter. Practically baffled that someone out there wrote an honest-to-god letter that was addressed to an honest-to-god person. And that he wasn’t the writer, that he was the recipient. The thought alone made his heart race, and to comprehend that this secret admirer perhaps harbored feelings towards him? It was next to impossible. But no one writes a letter without true emotion behind it. That’s a fact he was coming to understand.

“I need you to come with me.” He told you after showing you the letter. “I’m—I’m not sure I can do this alone.”

You rolled your eyes. “Jihoon, obviously this person doesn’t want to make a public event out of their confession. You should really do this without me.”

“I know, and I’m not asking you to stand at my side or anything.” He reiterated. “Can you like—stand in a bush or something? If I know that you’re there I won’t feel the need to—"

“Did you just ask me to stand in a bush?” You guffawed. “You did not just ask me to stand in a bush Lee Jihoon because if you did then you’re about to get your ass kicked into next year!”

“I didn’t mean literally!” He quickly denied when he did, in fact, mean it literally. “Just—stand around the corner, okay? Be my moral support!”

Pursing your lips, you knew that there was no getting out of this. “Alright, fine. I’ll come with you. But I’m not happy about it.”

“I’ll pay you back, I promise.” He swore. “Have I ever told you that you’re the best?”

A smirk teased at your lips. “You could mention it more.”

“Consider it done.” Jihoon grinned, gathering up his things and heading for the door. “Don’t forget! After school! Courtyard! Don’t be late!”

Once he was gone and you were completely alone, your face fell in disappointment. “I wouldn’t dream of it…”

By the time that school was finally over for the day, Jihoon was a bundle of overactive nerves. He was excited and terrified and anxious and nauseous all at once. The bombarding sensations kept him cemented in place, gripping the edge of his desk until his knuckles were about to burst through. He had been like that for the entirety of their last class, still as a statue as a cold sweat broke out across his brow. You were standing in front of him, head tilted and wondering what he was planning to do next.

“Class is over.” You reminded him. “Everyone’s left.”

Very slowly, he nodded. “Y-yeah. I can see that.”

His voice sounded as if it had been completely stripped down. Like he had screamed himself hoarse by saying those few words.

“Your secret admirer is probably waiting.” You tried to spur him. “We should get going before I change my mind and head home.”

He audibly swallowed past a lump in his throat. “Well—maybe that’s best. Yeah, I can wait until tomorrow.”

You eyed him incredulously. “You’re going to stay here until tomorrow. You’re insane, get up.”

“I’d rather not.”

“And I’d rather not grow old and die here.” You countered. “C’mon, Jihoon. Your admirer asked you to help them be brave, how exactly is this helping them?”

He had to admit, you had a point. If they were brave enough to put their feelings out there, he had to at least meet them half way.

Sighing loudly, he started to pry his fingers off his desk. “Alright, fine. We’ll do things your way.”

You rolled your eyes for perhaps the hundredth time. “You’re absolutely insufferable. Why do I hang out with you?”

“Because I’m funny.” He said with the most serious face in the world.

Which actually made you laugh.

“I hate you.” You chuckled. “C’mon, let’s get going while we’re still young.”

Jihoon inhaled and exhaled deeply to calm himself down.

This is just the beginning.

Except—it wasn’t.

He stood in the courtyard, seemingly alone, with the note that brought him there clutched tight in his hand. As his moral support you were keeping your distance, as promised, but no one else joined you. Minutes passed and he did his best to remain hopeful. It was hard, especially when a familiar voice nagged at the back of his mind. The same one he struggled with every day to ignore.

No one would ever like you, so why did you bother thinking otherwise?

While the negative thoughts slowly took over, Jihoon didn’t know what to do next. He was defeated, almost destroyed. And even though you walked up behind him and took his hand in yours, it did little to stop the bitter tears from welling in his eyes.

“I should’ve known…” He whispered angrily. “This was all just—a joke. It’s always a joke. Who could ever like me?”

“Stop it, Jihoon.” You hissed at him, squeezing his hand tighter. “They said they were scared, maybe they couldn’t follow through with it. Maybe they were afraid of being rejected. You never know what’s going through someone’s head. Don’t beat yourself up, okay?”

Nothing you said was going to make him feel better. He quickly wrenched himself from your grip and backed away from you.

“I’m going home.” He clipped. “Bye.”

Before he left, he made sure to crumple up the note and toss it at your feet. When his heart was broken, he wore it on his sleeve. You understood what Jihoon was feeling, he had been living with an extremely low self esteem due to his height and his general inability to make friends for as long as you knew him. He was quiet, shy, reserved, he was slow to open up to others and hesitant to trust. That’s why you tried to be excited for him, and now that things hadn’t gone as planned in more ways than one your heart ached just like his.

The next day, Jihoon strolled into class like a drunk zombie. By the looks of him, he hadn’t slept a wink. Too busy being destroyed by his own thoughts to bother with anything like sustenance or sleep. He took up his seat beside you, and you immediately shoved your desk into his.

“Still upset?” You asked, even though you already knew the answer.

Sluggishly he lifted his head up and then quickly dropped it back down.

It was worse than you thought.

“Are you going to talk to me today?” You teased in an attempt to get a reaction. “Or am I going to have to go bother Hansol?”

Grumbling slightly, the barely responsive mass that was your best friend raised his hand and dropped a crumpled wad of paper on your desk. At first, you assumed it was just another one of his letters. They weren’t uncommon when he was feeling—unwell.

But it was another note from his secret admirer.

You were startled because he didn’t usually stop at his locker in the morning.

Lee Jihoon, it started similarly.

I’m sorry for not showing up yesterday, I was scared. I couldn’t bring myself to face you, please don’t be mad at me. I’d like to keep writing you letters, if that’s okay. Let’s get to know each other and maybe one day I can be brave again.

Once you were finished reading, you immediately began analyzing Jihoon’s face again. You had never seen him look like this before, completely vacant. While he was hard to read to the entire world, he was always an open book to you. Now reading him was nearly impossible even with your expertise.

“What are you gonna do?”

He shrugged lazily. “I don’t know. Sit here for the rest of eternity. Wait for the soft embrace of death.”

“Jihoon.” You exasperated. “We both know you’re not actually going to do that.”

Except he actually might and you actually couldn’t take that chance.

“Are you going to write them a letter?” You tried, again. “Maybe that will work out better.”

“I already did.” He murmured. “I don’t think they want to read it though.”

“Jesus Christ…” You groaned loudly, taking Jihoon’s face in your hands and looking him dead in his lifeless eyes. “They still like you, they’re scared and human like the rest of us, it is not the end of the world! Give them another chance and stop being such a goddamn drama queen!”

Silence. Pure unadulterated and perfectly aggravating silence.

“Alright, you leave me no choice. I’m bringing out the big guns.”

Being careful to keep an eye on the teacher, you pulled out your phone and started texting Jihoon’s mother. According to your message, you and Jihoon were going to be studying late at the library, and he would probably need to spend the night at your house. Which wasn’t a complete lie, maybe you would get some studying done. But, in all honesty, you had other things in mind.

“Take your pick.” You instructed, a box set in each hand. “Descendants of the Sun, or Record of Youth.”

Immediately after school, you dragged your best friend to your house and sat him down in front of the TV. Your parents didn’t even question it when you told them this intervention was a matter of life and death, that the patient might need to be admitted for the night. They simply let you do what needed to be done.

Jihoon, who had been relatively catatonic for the past 24 hours, finally showed a glimmer of something. He gave the slightest suggestion of a nod towards Descendants of the Sun and you happily popped in the first disk. As you claimed a spot beside him, popcorn and banana milk in tow, he naturally relaxed against you. You were the only person who got to see him unguarded like that, the only person he himself would allow. And while he was typically someone who kept his true self hidden from the world, there was a part of him that would forever belong only to you.

“Thanks.” He practically whispered, resting his head on your shoulder. “I—I needed this.”

“I know.” You smiled. “Are you ready to talk yet?”

He sighed heavily. “No. Not really. I still have a lot of thinking to do.”

“Well, if you need help thinking you know where I’ll be.” You offered without wanting to seem pushy.

If you weren’t mistaken, you could’ve sworn he actually chuckled.

“Yeah. I do.”

Little by little, your best friend was slowly returning to normal—or as close to normal as you’ve ever seen him. Eventually he started getting sucked into the drama, going rigid when things got tense, and actively pretended he wasn’t crying whenever You Are My Everything played. It was, overall, a job well done. You could sleep easy knowing that Jihoon would be just fine. As you drifted off, you felt him hold your hand and squeeze it gently.

Everything was going to be okay.

And if only to prove that point, the next day was nothing like the one before. Jihoon was back to his old self as if nothing had happened at all. Just another Thursday without a word or whisper about the chaotic tornado his secret admirer had unleashed onto your day-to-day life. He even had a letter for you to read by the time lunch rolled around. Apparently, some freshman irritated him over something seemingly small. At least—to you it seemed barely worth mentioning. But nothing ever really felt small to Jihoon. It was all or nothing, always living in black and white. Which meant that almost everything was important to him in some way. So you read the letter, and you edited it gladly.

Once you were done, he had something else for you. Another note from the admirer.

“This is the third one, right?” You murmured, glancing it over once before looking up at him. “Have you written back yet? Besides the one where I assumed you insulted their very existence with your entire arsenal of hurtful words.”

The blush crawling up his neck was an answer in and of itself, but the thick stack of paper he pulled out of his backpack solidified it.

“I’ve tried a few times.” He admitted hesitantly. “Nothing I write is good enough.”

“Oh, only a few times?” You teased, knowing full well that Jihoon’s definition of a few was the same as calling Jane Eyre a short shopping list. “What’s got you so stuck? Usually you have no issues penning essays over trivial things like cracks in the sidewalk.”

His brow furrowed defiantly. “Hey, proper sidewalk and road maintenance is important to modern infrastructure. If we start overlooking cracks in the pavement, then what? What about traffic lights? Can we afford to allow a single bulb to go out? No, of course not. That’s anarchy.”

You couldn’t believe your ears.

“Jihoon…” You started with an exasperated look. “I was joking.”

Trying to hide the fact that his blush was turning a deep crimson, and failing quite miserably, he pulled a paper from the stack and put it back in his bag. Also something he tried, and failed, to hide from you.

“Are you kidding me!” You laughed, raking a hand down your face. “Did you seriously have a letter in that pile you were going to send to our congressman?”

“No—yes—ugh!” He groaned. “Can we forget about the stupid sidewalk for a second! That’s not important right now! Help me! How do I do this?”

Deciding you had teased your best friend enough, you placed your chin in your hand and smiled at him. “How do you do what, exactly? I’ve never had anything to do with the letters you write, I just read them so someone knows how you’re feeling.”

Who were you kidding, you could never tease Jihoon enough.

He rolled his eyes so hard that he rolled his whole head with them. “Like you’ve ever needed further insight into my head, you always know what I’m thinking before I do.”

True.

“But I don’t understand the first thing about—this.” He finished with a labored sigh, gesturing sharply to the handwritten novel in front of him. “You know that better than anyone.”

Again, he was telling the truth. In the years you had known Jihoon he had never developed serious feelings towards someone else. He had barely entertained the notion since entering high school. He always talked himself out of it because feelings were complicated and bothersome. Plus, he was terrified of being rejected. Like most people are. His intrusive thoughts just so happened to be louder than most.

“I hate to break it to you, Jihoon,” You started in a whisper, “no one knows the first thing about this. Not even me. The only person who can help you is yourself.”

His sour expression made it obvious that he obviously didn’t like your response. “Great. Super helpful. Thank you for your continued wisdom.”

When he moved away from you, you grabbed him by the sweater and pulled him back in. “Why do you always stop listening to me when I’m about to make my point?”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “Because it takes you forever to fucking get there.”

“Alright, you got me there.” You chuckled. “Listen, I’m not kidding when I say that you’ve got to do this one on your own. As much as I can usually sense what feelings are doing somersaults in your stomach, this is a first for you and therefore a first for me. I’ve never seen you like this before, so unfortunately you’ve got to discover this one on your own.”

As you spoke, his features slowly softened until all that remained was a very nervous teenager who didn’t want to screw up his first real chance at love. That’s all Jihoon was at his core, that’s all anyone was.

But you had to admit he almost looked kind of cute.

Almost.

“How do you always know what to say?” He grumbled while crossing his arms. “It’s annoying.”

“You’ve got a really weird way of saying thank you.” You smirked playfully. “Well, maybe this last nugget of advice will get you started in the right direction.”

“Why are you always—” He seethed through his teeth. “How are you still not at whatever your point is!”

You shrugged, because you honestly had no clue. “I'll get there when I get there. You want to hear it or not—”

“Spit. It. Out.”

“Now is that anyway to—”

Wow. You stopped, suddenly fearing for your measly life. If looks could kill—

“Alright, alright, you win.” You conceded. “If you’re having issues writing a letter to your secret admirer, here’s my advice. Stop trying to put words to your feelings and start putting feelings into words. You’re spending too much time trying to say it perfectly that you’re not saying it at all. It doesn’t need to make sense to anyone else, it doesn’t even need to make sense to you. So long as you put them out into the world, they’ll be heard and one day they’ll be understood. You get me?”

The look on his face was—strange. You had a hard time placing it, which should’ve been weirder than it was. In fact, you were seeing lots of different sides to Jihoon lately, sides you never thought existed. This time his eyes widened, the aforementioned scarlet blush had disappeared, and there was a radiance to him that you had never seen before. Like suddenly he could see clearly through the storm of his thoughts.

“Thank you.” He exhaled with a smile. “I’ve never thought about it like that before.”

Feeling triumphant, you wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “I’m starting to wonder what you’d do without me, Jihoon. Three days and you’ve been completely undone and redone by this letter.”

“Letters are powerful things.” He muttered. “They can break hearts, mend souls, and change lives. You taught me that.”

“I guess I’m a pretty good teacher.” You boasted, giving him a squeeze. “Despite the fact that I’m actually quite terrible with words.”

He shrugged off your arm. “Except you always know what to say, how exactly does that work?”

“Just because I can make you see reason doesn’t mean I’m good with words.” You laughed easily. “That simply means that I’ve perfected the art of understanding the impossible. Lee Jihoon. I can’t use words like you do. Trust me I’ve tried, I can never get the words right.”

For a moment, he didn’t have any sort of response. Which was definitely weird. It was a well-known fact that he was terrible with the sorts of words he had to speak, but he didn’t have issues when talking to you. That’s because you were friends, best friends. There had never been this sort of unnerving silence before. Not that you could remember, anyway.

What is going on in your head, Jihoon? You found yourself wondering since you couldn’t read his face. Have you started to figure it out?

“Sorry, I was thinking.” He muttered suddenly, shaking his head. “But I know what I need to write now. Will you read this one too? Even if it gets pretty long?”

“Of course!” You exclaimed with a smile. “When have I ever shied away from a challenge?”

The soft glisten in his eyes made your heart flutter.

“Never.”

When the bell rang and you parted ways, you wondered if Jihoon had ever written you a letter.

Well there’s a first time for everything.

For the next week, he was in full writer mode. And there were no more notes from his secret admirer, not that you expected there to be any. Every chance he got he was scribbling something down on whatever surface he could get his hands on. Textbooks, paper, his arm, he was more inspired than you’d ever seen before and nothing was going to stop him. He didn’t even come over to your house over the weekend, a ritual you hadn’t broken in the ten plus years you had known each other. It was a lonely week, for sure, but you knew it was for a good cause.

Then, after what felt like an eternity of silence, he approached you in the courtyard with a single sheet of paper in his hand.

“Hey…” He started uneasily, his grip tightening. “How’re you?”

Seriously? You mused to yourself with a smile. “I’m good, how’s the writing?”

“Done.” He clipped. “And—I think I covered everything.”

“Are you sure?” You asked, eyeing the sheet of paper. “With all of that writing I thought you’d have a novel for me.”

He shook his head, while a blush crawled up his neck. “Sometimes being concise is more effective than being overly wordy.”

“That’s true.” You grinned. “Easier for me to edit anyway.”

Nodding, he shoved the paper into your hand. “Here. Take your time, I don’t want you to rush it.”

“I won’t.” You promised, resisting the urge to start reading right away. “I know you put a lot of thought into this.”

With that, he turned around and walked off without another word. Leaving you holding something that looked like little more than pen ink on paper, but felt like a confession on fire. Once he was out of eyesight, you exhaled a breath you had been holding unintentionally and started reading.

To the person I have never loved before. It began, and you weren’t prepared for the roller coaster you had willingly climbed into.

This isn’t for the person I’ve loved all along, no. This is for you, someone who managed to stir my emotions more than a raging monsoon with only a few words and the hint of a promise. Who are you? I wondered to myself, because you were without equal. How could I have missed you? You were extraordinary. You didn’t have a face, all I had of you was a letter slipped into my locker, you were a ghost and I was set ablaze by your words. I had never felt like that before, my heart was unprepared. As was I. You made me question everything, and made me realize things I had never seen before.

What I felt for you wasn’t love, even though I thought it was at first. You presented me with feelings I decided I would never feel, so I could only assume that it was love. I felt like a live wire, ready to spark at a moment's notice. All I could think about was you. The infinite options and scenarios I dreamt up, all because of you, was astronomical. It was exhilarating, and I found myself drunk on the endless possibilities that you presented me. What else could make me feel that way, if it wasn’t love?

The answer was one I didn’t expect, and it hit me like a tsunami. I started to feel that way towards someone I already know. Someone who has cared for me more than anyone should, they have been my best friend for years so how could I suddenly feel the same way? How could my friendship for them become intertwined with the love I thought was solely reserved for you? And how could I have missed it after being enveloped by their warmth for so long?

You changed all of that. You made me see clearly for the first time in years and I was completely undone. Everything I knew was suddenly challenged, my feelings towards the most important person in my life changed without any warning, and I didn’t know what to do. How could I ask them, a friend, to see me as anything more? I was lost, trapped in an endless loop of destructive thoughts and desire. Desperately wanting to scream my feelings from the rooftop while fearing the voice that would have to put words to them. Your feelings for me awakened my feelings for them, and suddenly the words that have given me comfort for so long escaped me.

Still, you helped me.

In ways I can only thank with this letter.

You helped me because you are the one who told me to start writing letters. It’s always been you. You are the one who has given my thoughts meaning when I struggled to communicate with the world. One that could never understand someone like me. You are the one who wrote me a letter, asking a coward to help you be brave. It took me a while to realize that you were one and the same, but I picked up on the hints you left behind. I’m sorry it took me this long to figure it out.

Would you have showed up had I not asked you to come with me? I think about that often, were you only afraid because my initial thought was that there was no way it could be you? The impossible notion that my best friend could love me anymore than they already do? I have a thousand more questions I want to ask you, but I think I’m brave enough now to ask you in person.

So I’m going to end this letter here, because you deserve so much more than the words I’ve hidden behind for years. A letter I started to write for someone I thought I didn’t know, to the person I’ve never loved before. Funny, how it ended up being a letter to the person I’ve loved all along.

As you read the last line, tears already streaming down your face, you had never felt happier.

“You figured it out.” You whispered, almost in disbelief. “For a second there I thought you never would.”

You don’t know when Jihoon came back, but he was suddenly standing in front of you taking your hand in his. “It really shouldn’t have taken me that long, I’ve only seen your handwriting a thousand times before.”

Laughter bubbled past your lips as you dried your tears with your sleeve. “I was terrified that you would’ve figured me out from the very beginning. Looks like I really give you too much credit sometimes.”

“You do.” He agreed. “So, what did you think of the letter? Any edits you can think of?”

“This isn’t the type of letter that needs editing.” You stated plainly. “It would take away from the author’s meaning.”

“What would that be?” He asked, clearly teasing you. “Enlighten me.”

You shook your head defiantly. “No, no way. It’s your letter, why don’t you tell me what it’s supposed to mean?”

Part of him didn’t want to make it easy, that much you knew with absolute certainty. But, for the sake of time and your poor heart, he would let you off the hook. Just this once.

“That I love you.” He said softly. “More than anything else.”

Choking out a sob, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in close.

“I love you too, Jihoon.”

In the end, neither of you were good with words, but you only needed to know what to say to each other.

8. “We need to talk about what happened last night.”

25.  “It’s an office with huge windows, everyone can see.” “So?”

marketing director!mingyu x f!reader

w.c: 2.6k

warnings: a little bitt of angst, a little bit of fluff, suggestive themes like voyeurism briefly mentioned

note: ngl, I’m sorry not my best work but I TRIED. Let me know your thoughts it would really help me out a lot. Thank you for reading.xx

masterlist || prompt list

Kim Mingyu - Marketing Director

The nameplate on the door sends a shiver up your spine, knowing that the man you had accidentally pulled in for a drunk kiss the night before during the weekly company bonding dinner, was sitting just behind the door. He was pissed, had pushed you away, made a big deal in wiping his mouth with the back of his hand in disgust. Causing you to sober up quickly and regretting it.

It’s no secret that God had taken his sweet time when creating Kim Mingyu Marketing Director of GoSe Enterprises. He put all the Greek Gods you spent your free time reading about to shame. You’ve been crushing on him since he sat in the cubicle next to yours for years. The two of you had developed a nice easy-going friendship. He was sweet, funny, and always offered amazing advice, both on personal and professional matters. You were practically head over heals for him.

Then the promotion came, granting Mingyu with an office on the southside of the company building. Huge windows overlooking the city below, and the office. A nice fancy gold nameplate with his new job description underneath it. Naturally, the two of you grew apart, ripped from one another without a warning. He was no longer rooting for you and your ideas. Instead, he was the one turning down all your project proposals. He was the one assigning you the revision tasks he knew you hated doing. He was the reason for the random spikes of anxiety throughout the workday. He was no longer your friend, he was your supervisor. His soft demeanor and fleeting touches were nowhere to be found. Lost amongst piles of paperwork surrounding his desk. 

You took a deep breath holding your laptop close against your chest, eyeing the nameplate on the large dark wooden door that took your Mingyu away from you a year ago. You were nervous. He only ever called you down to his office if you had a proposal revision due, which this time you didn’t. 

The last idea you had pitched two weeks ago was turned down before you could finish your sentence during your first PowerPoint slide. He didn’t even give you the chance to improve it, simply said, “trash it, it’s not worth wasting your time when it’s not a plausible option.” So, the only other option left and the one that made sense was your slip-up the night before. He had called you down to ask for your resignation letter for breaking company policy. 

“If you keep staring at the door it won’t magically open,” Chan spoke next to you making you jump. “I’m just saying.” He shrugged sheepishly and opened the door, walking in with confidence. “Mingyu I have the copies you asked for.” 

You filed in after him, situating yourself close to the wall and by the door, while Mingyu instructed Chan on where to set down the copies. Your heart was beating rapidly against your chest, watching as the two of them laughed about some inside joke they had. The anger along with jealousy boiled with fever deep within you. 

This was the problem. Mingyu had only changed when it came to you. With everyone else he was the same Mingyu you once had the pleasure of knowing, and that not only confused you but it made you angry. “Are we still on for guys' night this friday?” Chan asked the older male pointing finger guns at him. 

“Yes, of course, drinks are on Seungcheol this time, which makes my wallet really happy.” Mingyu clapped Chan on the back and led him towards his office door. “Same bar with the cute bartender?” He emphasized, his angry gaze falling on you for a second. 

Subtle you silently scoffed rolling your eyes, holding your laptop as close to your body as humanly possible.If he didn’t make his distaste towards you obvious by his reaction last night, he surely made it painfully clear just now. 

“That’s the one.” Chan nodded, sending you a pitying look, one you didn’t need. You knew you were fucked. 

Everyone knew about your painful crush on Mingyu. Everyone had seen you grab the collar of his dark maroon shirt last night and plant a wet alcohol filled kiss against his lips. Everyone had seen the way he reacted, yanking his suit jacket off the back of his chair and walking out of the bar pissed. So, you didn’t need the various pitying looks you were getting since the moment you walked in that morning.

“Alright then I’ll see you then, don’t forget to turn in your proposal by tomorrow night, Jeonghan keeps bugging me about it.” 

Chan sighed, hitting his forehead with the palm of his hand, “shit, I’ll have it done by tomorrow morning.” He said quickly before speed walking back to his cubicle. Leaving you alone to face the problem you had caused. 

Mingyu laughed lightly, shaking his head as he shut the door to his office, “I knew he forgot.” He mumbled before straightening his back, the scowl you were used to seeing appeared on his face once again. He walked past you to his desk, taking a seat next to his name plate. You stayed put, looking down at the floor, only counting the tiny dust bunnies that were visible to your eye. 

Mingyu cleared his throat, “We need to talk about what happened last night.” 

You raised your head pushing yourself off the wall and walked to him. Stopping behind one of the leather chairs in front of his desk. “Don’t need to, It’s my fault for breaking company policy. I’ll hand in my resignation letter to Jeonghan tonight.” You kept your eyes trained on the skyscraper reflecting through the window behind him. Anything was better than looking at him right now. 

He sighed, running a frustrated hand across his face. He pushed himself away from his desk and took a step forward. “I didn’t call you in here to ask you to resign.” 

Confused, you tore your eyes from the building behind him and looked at him. The bags under his eyes that had started to form from lack of sleep and overwork were now more prominent than before. It made you wonder if he hadn’t slept last night because of you, but then you remembered the huge project he was currently working on, so you casted that thought aside.

“Oh then...I-umm, why am I here?” 

“Do you have any idea the position you put me in last night?” He furrowed his brows, placing a knee down on the chair in front of him. He leaned his forearms against the back of it, closing the distance you purposely kept between the two of you. 

You took a step back, scrunching your nose, “I don’t understand. You don’t want me to resign. If I’m not getting penalized then why am I here?” You dropped your arms in defeat. “If you called me in here to tell me you’re not interested in me, you don’t have to. I already know.” You finished swallowing the lump that had formed at the back of your throat. 

“That’s the problem.” Mingyu pointed an accusing finger at you before retreating it. “I am interested in you, more than interested in you. I have strong feelings for you and I can’t act on them because I don’t want everyone to think that I favor you, because I do.” 

I’m dreaming, you thought pressing the palm of your hand against your heated forehead. You had to be dreaming, life has never been this giving to you, “wait I’m confused...you ran out last night, literally pushed me away, disgusted. Do you have any idea how that felt? I had to sit down and face our co-workers with a fake smile on my face because I didn’t want them to see me cry.” 

Mingyu’s face softened, he gripped the back of the chair hard enough for his knuckles to almost turn white. “I know and I’m sorry but if I had stayed then I would’ve kept kissing you. You have no idea how badly I’ve been wanting to do that.” He dropped his head releasing a shuddering breath. “Every time we stayed here working over time, the only thing I could think about was how easy it’d be if I just leaned over a little more and kissed you. No one would be around, no one would see, it would just be our little secret. But the stupid company policy always seemed to find it’s way into my head and I never let myself cross that boundary.”

“Mingyu w-why are you telling me this now? Even if we have feelings for one another, my job is important to me and I don’t want to risk getting fired because we’re together.” You blinked rapidly, now was not the time to cry. You could cry later in the communal bathroom across the hall, or on the bus ride home, just anywhere but here. 

“Well,” Mingyu rounded the corner of the chairs and made his way to you, finally closing the distance. “I talked to Jeonghan -”

“Wait you told him we kissed?” You were sure your eyes were bulging out of their sockets as the realization hit you. Of course, Mingyu wasn’t going to fire you, he was saving himself the burden and having Jeonghan do it for him. 

He chuckled, placing a hand against your hip making you jump, “Just how drunk were you last night? Jeonghan was there when it happened. He called me and threatened to fire me for leaving you the way I did.” He whispered, circling his arm around you and pulling you close, making you stumble from the sudden impact. “H’said, fuck company policy and that I was stupid for following it when no one does.” 

“Wait are you saying th -” 

“Yes we can be together as long as we keep our work and personal lives separate, so, no sex in my office.” 

You gasped hitting his chest lightly, this lewd side of Mingyu was one you had never seen before. Or at least you had but in a much more subtle way. “Well of course, we can’t do that. That was never going to be part of the deal.” The thought of him pressing you against his desk after hours sent a thrilling shiver up your spine. You bit your lip, shaking your head. No, not allowed, focus. 

“Why not? I’ve slept on the couch here a few times. It's pretty comfortable.” He reassured, hooking his thumb in the belt loops of your dark slacks. “And your ass looks so good in these pants, I literally have to make it my mission to not stare.” 

“I’m flattered, I guess. But look around Gyu.” His gaze followed your hand as you waved it around in front of him. “It’s an office with huge windows, everyone can see -” 

He pulled you closer, eloping your body in both of his arms, “so?” He tilted his head to the side, a smirk playing against his lips. You had forgotten how much he liked to tease you. 

“So?” You rolled your eyes, “were you not listening to what I was saying everyone can see.” You emphasized, poking his cheek with your index finger. 

Mingyu bit his bottom lip trying to suppress his laughter. He forgot how easily flustered you could get, especially when he would say something out of pocket to you. Sure, half of the time you would ignore him, sometimes you would simply roll your eyes, focused on whatever you were working on. Other times he would leave you at a loss for words.

“Frankly, I don’t see the problem. We can just wait until everyone goes home and then give whoever is walking by a free show.” He finished raising his eyebrows suggestively at you. 

You rolled your eyes, pushing him away and walked to his door. “I can’t believe you’re already thinking about having sex with me and you haven’t even asked me out on a date or to be your girlfriend.” You pushed his door open and walked out, “the audacity you have Kim Mingyu.” 

He felt panic surge through him, his big mouth getting the best of him once again. “Woah woah wait I was getting there, you didn’t give me the chance to ask.” He followed you out the door, trying to keep up with your hasty steps. Who knew you could walk so fast in heels. 

Once you were at your cubicle you sat down, placing your laptop on top of your desk, waking it up. “Too late, company policy says we have to keep our work and personal lives separate, guess you’re going to have to wait a while.” You look at the digital clock on your desk, “Five and a half hours to be exact.” 

Mingyu threw his head back, frustrated. As much as he enjoyed teasing you, he had forgotten that you were equally as evil if not worse. He had waited to ask you out for more than two years and now that he could, he literally couldn’t wait five and a half hours.

“Friday, after work?” He whispered, covering the side of his mouth with his hand to make it look less suspicious. It wasn’t working.

“What about guys night and that cute bartender?” You smirked, clicking around your computer opening the files you were working on earlier. 

Mingyu took a deep breath and grabbed the back of your chair, swinging it around ripping you away from your computer screen. “Fuck guys night honey, I’m taking you home, cooking you the best meal you’ve ever had and then -” He stopped peaking over your cubicle. Everyone that had tuned in to your debacle, quickly scrambled to focus on whatever they were doing before you and Mingyu walked in. He nodded once before leaning down, his lips close to your ear, whispering, “then I’m going to fuck you against my window so everyone can see that you’re finally mine.” 

You bit your lip to keep yourself from moaning.You put your hand on his chest and leaned in, placing a soft kiss against the shell of his ear. “Kinky, ask me again in five and a half hours.” You gave his cheek a gentle pat before pushing him away, returning your attention to what you were doing. 

Mingyu grumbled, shoulders slumped as he dragged himself back to his office. You stifled a laugh, the butterflies you had once felt for him returning. 

“You know I heard all of that.” Soonyoung spoke, peeking his head into your cubicle, his eyes wide like he had just seen a ghost, or something utterly disgusting.

Fuck! Mingyu! You whined silently before turning to face your cubicle mate. “I’ll buy you lunch if you pretend like you didn’t hear anything.” 

He put a pensive hand on his chin before sticking his hand out for you to shake. “Deal, I suddenly have been overcome with amnesia, whatever happened in the last five minutes I do not remember, that’s only if you promise to also finish revising this project proposal for me.” He waved the large packet of white copy paper in front of you. 

You groaned, “that wasn’t part of the deal we just shook on.” 

He sucked in air, “I don’t remember that.” He pouted. “I have amnesia, remember.” 

“Fuck fine.”

Small Actions (Create Big Ripples) CC!Plat!Ranboo x GN!Reader

I've been thinking lately about this little drabble and it makes me a bit upset? Like.. I'm in this position high key but theres nothing I can do about it...

(R/R/n) stands for Ranboo's real name. Also if you're really tall.... No you're not. Shhhh. For plot purposes

You stayed away from social media as much as possible. Now, don't get me wrong, you used to love watching Youtubers play their games and happily interact with their fans.. But growing up, you never seemed to have enough money to donate when they streamed, or go to events where they were.

You had always wanted to tell them how much they've helped you through life, or shaped your personality.. Or saved you. But... They get told that every day by over hundreds of people.. So there would be no real sentiment behind it..

You'd probably just get a simple, "Aw. Happy I could help." Before turning back to their game without blinking twice.

So, you just watched silently. It hurt, you know? Wanting to thank them, or send them something to show your appreciation.. But you never seemed to be able to send it, with the thought that 'it won't really matter to them after five minutes.. You'll just be brushed over. It's pointless.'

Eventually it hurt too much to keep watching the content creators that raised you, so you just stopped and went on with your life.

It was hard, but at least you didn't have to deal with the fact that you would never be able to thank the people you watched for making your life that much better.

As time went on, while you still heard about the creators, it was just... less. Now people were non stop blabbering about these people from something called the DreamSMP?

Your sister was obsessed with it to say the least, and you always heard her mumbling about strange people like Technoblade? Or Sapnap? And apparently some people had children with inanimate objects?! Like a Samsung Fridge and a salmon?! Yeah you didn't even bother trying to understand what she was rambling about most of the times. It just spun your head in circles.

"Okay, I gotta take my mutt to the vet," Your sister and closest friend, (S/n), tilted her head towards the backseat to her dog as you sat in the passenger seat. "You think you'll be good to do the shopping for two or so hours? I'll call when I'm finished, and plus I know how you can get distracted with looking at some things."

"Yeah, I think I'll be good." You nodded slightly, going over the list in your hand of things to get for your classes, food and just some clothing for the changing seasons.

(S/n) pulled into the parking lot and looked you over briefly, "You forgot your mask didn't you?" She watched as your hands flew up to your face to feel for the fabric, but you didn't find it so you fished through the pockets of your sweater before smiling nervously at the driver. "Uuugggggggghhhh. Of course. Okay, I got a new one from the merch store that you can use, but do not damage it! I spent a whole $30 on it!"

Scoffing as you rolled your eyes, you snagged the half white and half black mask away from her, "You and your merch. Honestly, (S/n), your obsession scares me. But anyway, thanks. I won't get it damaged, I swear." You pulled the mask onto your face after giving her a smile and walked into the store as she drove off.

Sighing slightly, you walked in, sanitized your hands, and set off on your journey to find the things you needed. Surprisingly, today seemed to be a good day as you miraculously pulled the card that didn't have the busted wheel!

Humming a soft tune to yourself, you paced up and down aisles in search of (S/n)'s favourite coffee. Pausing for a moment as you scanned the shelves, you finally spotted it and made a noise of anger as you realized it was on the very top shelf. "Oh, I hate it here..." You mumbled, a phrase you had picked up from your sister who was really big on trends like that.

Grumbling to yourself, you stood on the tips of your toes, jumped up and down, even climbed the shelves a small bit, but it just seemed to brush by your fingertips every time. Apparently it had been long enough to the point where someone had wandered into the aisle as well.

"Hey... Uh.. Nice mask? You need help?" A male voice asked very hesitantly making your head turn towards him. He was t a l l and literally could tower over you if you got close enough. He had fluffy dirty blonde hair possibly? It looked a little damp so you couldn't really tell. Rain had been in the weather report, but guess it couldn't hold off long enough. Oddly enough, he was wearing dark sunglasses and the exact same mask as you?

'Maybe he's a fan of one of (S/n)'s fandoms?' You stepped back with a sheepish smile and a blush. "Oh! Yes please! Uhm.. Also, could you tell me about what these masks represent? This is my sister's... And I kinda want to make sure I'm not looking like I'm part of some gang or something."

The tall boy reached up for the coffee before pausing midway through and looking at you in surprise. "You don't know who... Oh, it's just from a Twitch Streamer.." He murmured rather softly as he got the coffee down for you.

With a cheerful "Thank you!" You placed the container in the cart. "Oh? Yeah that makes sense. My sister loves that kind of stuff. Are they... A good person?"

"I-I'd like to think so." He nodded quickly. "Are you not.. Like, a fan of content creators? Like.. Uh.. Dream or (P/F/C)?" (Past favourite creator)

"Well... I mean I used to really like (p/f/c) when I was younger. But it kind of... Saddened me, you know?"

He looked at you again and tilted his head a bit, "Saddened you? Did they do something bad?"

"No no! It's just... I try to avoid joining fandoms, even if they make me really happy while in them despite the toxicity. I really enjoy the people who create content, and I like watching them have fun... It's just.." Were you really gonna spill some personal stuff to some stranger who showed you the slightest bit of kindness? Not originally. But he kept watching you, patiently waiting for you to continue the sentence. "They'll... Never know.. How much they saved me."

"Oh.. I see. Yeah.. I've had that happen a lot. When, I watch this guy's streams," He pulled at his mask for a moment, "People always donate money and tell him how much they appreciate him for getting them through rocky times.. It's heartwarming to say the least but he does sound genuinely thankful."

"Oh that's sweet.. What does he do? Or what's he like?" You asked with a smile, although he couldn't see it, as you crouched down to get something from the sheleves. "Unless you have places to be of course!"

He looked a little surprised at first, "Ah... I got time. It's just.. Kinda nice being able to talk to people again after quarantine..." He trailed off briefly before taking something off the shelf as well and putting it in his basket, "Uh.. The streamer is a popular minecraft player. He recently hit a record during a stream and everyone lost their minds. He's a little painfully awkward at some points but he enjoys playing the games and interacting with his chat."

"Oh he sounds nice! I would definitely want to friends with someone like him!" You chuckled softly before frowning and glancing away. "Oh.. Popular.. So I'd be another comment in the flood of a chat.. Damn. I got a little excited. Oh! My bad, I'm (Y/n). Nice to meet you!" You laughed softly in an attempt to brush off the sad atmosphere you made.

"(R/r/n). But everyone just calls me Ranboo. Nice to meet you too." He sounded as if he was smiling but there was a soft sadness in his tone. "Do you not like popular streamers then?"

"No, it's just... that I had always wanted to tell them how much they've helped me through life, or shaped my personality.. Or saved me.. But... They get told that every day by over hundreds of people.. So there would be no real sentiment behind it.. I suppose it just left me feeling a bit hopeless and like a broken record of every other fan of theirs. So, I just watched silently. It hurt, you know? Wanting to thank them, or send them something to show appreciation.. But I never seemed to be able to send it, with the thought that 'it won't really matter to them after five minutes.. You'll just be brushed over. It's pointless.'.."

Ranboo seemed slightly more upset and he shifted his basket into his other hand, "I don't think it's like that at all.. I believe that streamers and creators truly cherish anyone who even interacts with their videos, and even though they know there's some people in the world who can't say anything or buy their merchandise, the creators still know that they're there. They appreciate everyone who comes along their path, whether they support them by giving them money, criticism or their attention!"

You blinked at how... Passionate your new friend was about this topic before smiling softly. "I guess... It never passed my mind.. Thank you Ranboo.. Hey, you wanna be friends and get to know each other more?"

His expression was unreadable due to the fabric covering his mouth and nose, and the glasses covering his eyes. "Oh! Sure!" He sounded quite happy, so you were guessing that you weren't being too awkward. "Here's my number, as long as you promise to never give it to anyone. Even if someone wants to get to know me, okay?"

You took out your phone and looked at him with a strange expression, but quickly nodded. 'Maybe he is just really strict about his privacy.' Once he gave you the number, you sent a quick text to him to give him your contact in return. "Great! It was wonderful meeting you, I hope we can hang out more often! After.. covid of course."

Eagerly nodding, Ranboo finished writing your contact into his phone and slipped it back into his pocket. "Oh yeah definitely! I'll see you soon, (Y/n)!"

Parting your separate ways, you looked down at the newly added contact, 🤍Ranboo🖤 (Platonic hearts), with a smile.

Maybe small actions weren't as useless as you thought...

Scandal Ch. 6 - Loki x Reader

Summary: In that most crucial moment, how will Loki decide? If he doesn’t take this last chance your husband will be beyond redemption.

Warnings: Violence, Death, Mentions of Torture (just the same amount as in the original movie)

Words: ~1300 sorry it’s so short

I Story Masterlist I General Masterlist I

Taglist: @catlover092402152, @hi-there-x, @haloangel391, @misssilencewritewell, @babayaga67, @accioremuslupinn, @mochimommy2002, @just-someone-who-likes-to-write, @damalseer, @bethanystan, @loser-alert, @star017, @nina1800, @queenariesofnarnia, @n1fangirlsblog, @vengefulsokovian, @lunamoonbby​, @freyagallileaevans, @emmojoy​, @literate-lamb​, @aninnai​, @justsomerandompersonintheworld @spicy-avocado​ 

“You have your mother’s eyes...”

Even in the face of destruction, Loki could not avert his gaze from the little being in his arm. It had been way too long since that fateful night - and this time, your husband wanted to imprint every little detail of his son’s face into his heart.

“Liam...” his name was a sacret prayer on his lips, “Yes, she chose your name well. You will grow to be the strong warrior that protects our new kingdom.”

The baby took a hold of his father’s finger, making him gasp in awe and adoration - this was everything he had wished for. “How could I ever doubt my love for you?”

Loki took firm steps onto the balcony of the Stark Tower, as if the death and destruction he caused was not still happening, right there under his feet.

Countless screams and cries were unsucessfully dringing to his ear, yet not his mind as he invested himself with what he thought most important.

“Your mother and you will have everything you need and more” he cooed confidently, gesturing towards the flames igniting the city. “Out of the ashes, I  will create a new kingdom. I promise to make our wildest dreams become reality, to care for and protect you for all eternity!”

"Don’t fucking touch my child with your filthy hands!” Startled by the familiar voice, Loki finally managed to look up from his son’s face. “Take your hands off of him!”

“Oh, my...” he uttered, his trademark grin decorating his face. Just a small bit of magic was needed for him to teleport Liam a safe distance away, holding the sceptre in his hand now. “What a foul mouth you developed, my love. You sure have stayed on Midgard far too long.”

You had only awoken mere seconds ago, broken by the dramatic scene unfolding right in front of your very eyes, with your husband blissfully unaware of those consequences of the atrocities he was committing.

And if only you knew that he had stabbed Thor out of jealousy for taking his place, just before throwing him down the tower...

“Look around you, Loki!” Even though your tone was full of anger, you never stopped believing that your husband could still have a change of heart. “Wake up from that unjust dream! This is madness!”

You grabbed his shoulders, shaking him ever so slightly. “Please, can’t you see how the people are suffering? Is this a world in which you want Liam to grow up in?”

“Why can’t at least you understand me?!” your husband now shoutet at you, and you would never get used to seeing him like this. “Together, we can make a better, greater world! Where no one has to go through the same misfortune that we had to! These sacrifices are necessary!”

However, just as he was voicing his reasons, a sole tear escaped his eye - and when he blinked, that same shady blue was shining in his irises.

“Snap out of it, Loki! I beg of you!” Frantically, your lips found his, hoping for your healing aura to reach through to him. “Do it for us, your family!”

“If you fail, there will be no realm, no barren moon or crevice where he can’t find you.” Just when Loki was about to win the battle he was fighting inside of his heart, the words of Thanos and his cruel torturer shot through his mind like a painful lightning stike. “You think you know pain, Odinson? He will make you long for something as sweet as pain...everyone you love will die right in front of your eyes, in the most gruesome deaths imagineable -  starting with that woman and her child!”

“I-I cannot stop, Y/N!” His voice was shaking, struggling internally if he could really doom so many people just to know you safe. “I want- no, need to do this, for Liam and you!”

“That’s just your fear speaking, Loki! Your mind is betraying you!” You clung onto him for dear life, trying to make him understand. “Whoever did those unspeakable things to you so you’d work for him, we can beat him! Together!”

“It’s not that easy!”

“Can’t you for one damn time trust me?!?” Every syllable of that sentence hit his heart like daggers “I do, Y/N, but-”

“No!” Never before, no matter how sad or frustrated you were with him, you had raised your voice - but now you were practically screaming on the top of your lungs. “If this is your final decision, then do it: Take me under your spell. Because I couldn’t live with myself if I’d allow this to happen.”

You grabbed the handle of the staff, pressing your chest against it’s tip. “The Avengers will defeat you, and take care of my child. At least them I can trust!”

“And this is where she is right.” The voice was Tony, god knows just how long he was listening to that scene from behind the bar. The Hulk had appeared outside of the building as well, while the other Avengers were still busy evacuating the civilians.

“Y/N, I would never...” Loki completely ignored the threat at hand, still devastated by your declaration. “Be sure of my unconditional love, at least!”

“He’s slipping!” you yelled towards the team, waving for them to come over. “Loki is only doing this due to the Tesseract manipulating him! We need to destroy it!”

“Easier said than done, sweety” Iron Man scoffed, “It’s leading this army towards humanity. We’ve been onto it this whole time.”

“Enough!” Loki threatened, baring his teeth! “We are gods! No one talks to my wife like that! And I will not be bullied by-”

At long last, the Hulk interrupted the Trickster God’s speech through sheer violence, and you could only cover your eyes at the sight of your husband being thrown around like a ragdoll without him making an attempt to fight back.

“Stop!” You screeched, sobbing as you ran towards the beast. “Please, he’s willingly getting beaten up! We yield, so stop!”

You fell onto your knees, gently putting your wheezing husband’s head onto your lap as you tried to tend to his wounds. “It’s over, Loki.”

“Ha...” he laughed weakly, “I knew you still cared for me.”

“Of course, you insufferable fool!” Tears of yours dripped down your chin onto his face, and you placed a forgiving kiss on his forehead. “Welcome back, my love.”

“The...the device-” you wanted him to spare his strenght, but he insisted that it was important. "All this time, I don’t know what happened, but- it was like being in trance...yetw I managed to slip a subtle order to that scientist, Erik Selvic - to make it imperfect. The machine can be turned off or even destroyed. It’s not too late, go!”

“I won’t leave you alone!” With your whole essence, every fibre of your being, you would swear. “Never again! We won’t get separated, no matter what follows!”

While the other Avengers were assembling again, ready to stop the apocalypse, you held your husband tight. His mind was still messed up, like waking up after being in a dream-like state - but he would pull himself together and stay strong, for you.

Yet subconscious, he had always been present that whole time. "Everything I have done, I-I don’t know where to start. Someone like me doesn’t even have the right to apologize.”

“I think you have wallowed in your own pity long enough, am I not right, my love?” you scolded him harshly, yet still with a hopeful smile on your face.

Carefully helping him back up, Loki would collapse right into your welcoming arms once again. “Will it really turn out to be alright?”

“Yes. We will figure everything out, and then you will continue living - so you can apologize to me, Liam and everyone you have hurt every single day. Do you understand?”

Urges P1

TV SHOW THE QUEENS GAMBIT

COUPLE BENNY WATTS X READER

RATING SMUT

I gently hummed my little tune as I locked up my front door going down the steps to the dusty new york streets. I turned on the railing heading down the steps to the lower apartment. Then down some stairs again until I reached the basement apartment door unlocking it with my key and heading inside out the cold even if it wasn't much warmer in here. Shutting the door with my hip and locking it behind me absentmindedly moving my keys from the door to the hook on the wall, heading down the little steps hanging my coat and such up too heading to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee but just as it was boiling.

"Y/n?" I heard behind me making me jump out of my skin putting a hand to my chest in shock as I almost screamed turning on my heels to face the bedroom door.

It was open and leant on the frame of the door stood a familiar skinny figure. Barefoot and bare chested with a tight pair of jeans and his floral robe over his shoulders, a cup of coffee in his hand, his hair a matted mess that made it look as if he just this moment woke up his eyes barely open and yet a smirk on his lips as his other hand fiddled with his facial hair where it must have been annoying him as he clearly hasn't shaved in a few days and it was getting beyond the length he liked it to be and would no doubt deal with it later, his chains hung loosely against his bare skin, his other jewelry sat on him too comfortably ad he pretty much slept in it all at this point and likely barely noticed it was there at all  "Morning"

"Benny! You scared me" I complained 

"Says the girl who just broke into my fucking house"

"I have a key"

"Yes but one usually knocks first babydoll"

"Don't call me that Benny" I sighed returning to making coffee 

"Why not? You are my little babydoll aren't you?" He smirked coming to lean his arm on the counter beside me I tried to ignore him and tried not to look even if I wanted to look at him "your cute when your trying not to look" he smirked kissing my cheek and going off to do something else 

"I didn't know you where home"

"Course you didn't"

"I didn't, I'll go you don't need me" I began but before I could even move

"Y/n, of course I do come on. You clean when I'm here all the time you're literally the only person who cleans anything in this place" he laughs "sorry, I'll stop bothering you" he says sitting at his table looking at his chess board I nodded having my coffee and starting to work.

I only lived upstairs from Benny and we had gotten very used to each other, and during a time I was out of work he suggested that I could look after his place when he wasn't around and he'd slide me a little money for doing it. I always looked after his place while he went away even once I got another job, it wasn't much just checking nothing goes gross in his fridge, making sure the laundry gets done, making sure knowone breaks in, eventually thought it changed into me basically being his cleaner and I come in ever so often when he's not here and clean up for him and of course sometimes when he is here. I didn't mind it, it was something to do. 

As I stood cleaning the kitchen scrubbing the sink and countertop I felt the burn of eyes on me making me turn and see Benny sat his elbow on the table, his hand under his chin, his fingers across his cheek, his eyes squarely on me and my hemline. 

"Yes?" I asked 

"Nothing" he answered

"What are you looking at?" I asked as I worked 

"At you"

"Why? What are you looking at me for?"

"I like to watch you work" he shrugs smiling a little at me 

"It's not all that interesting" I smiled "if it was you'd do it and then I wouldn't have a job" I laughed

"Touche babydoll"

"Benny I hear you call me that again I'm throwing this sponge at your head" I warn 

"Babydoll" he smirked milking every Letter of the word I could heard the smirk on his voice on each syllabus and he smirked gently biting on his bottom lip as he finished the word and I didn't move "I knew you wouldn't"

"Your infuriating sometimes" I sighed 

"Only sometimes?" He asked "I rather thought you found me infuriating all the time?"

"Not all the time, sometimes you can be quite lovely" I explain as I finished my cleaning in the kitchen and began sweeping the floor 

"Aww your lovely sometimes too" 

"Aren't I lovely all the time?"

"Sometimes… your other things"

"Such as?"

"Sometimes you're lovely, others you're fascinating. Sometimes your… desirable"

"Ohh am I now Benny?"

"I think so" he says I ignored him and continued my work sweeping the floor and doing the other jobs I usually did for him until I began packing my cleaning stuff away again "y/n?" He spoke up grabbing my wrist so his hand was so smooth and strong he wasn't an inch from me so much I could feel the heat or his exposed skin "would you… stay? And do another little job for me?"

"Well what is it?" I asked straightening myself up a little and trying to put space between us 

"Would you stay and do something with me?"

"What are you talking about Benny? What do you mean?" I asked 

"I mean" he smirked moving closer so my chest was against his own Whispering in my ear in his hushed deep voice in the same way he had spoken earlier milking every word every syllable a lustful sound to the sentence "stay and be my little babydoll?"

I was confused but by the look on his face I knew what he wanted

"Benny!" I said in shock backing away however I backed tight against the kitchen counter so I had no escape from him 

"Aww what's wrong?" He smirked, grabbing my waist, his hands on my waist, his things rubbing on my hips "don't you want me?" He growled 

"Benny I uhh I umm-" I stutter no words arriving at my brain too focused on what he was saying in what he was doing and mostly the fact I had a half naked Benny watts pressed against me it was enough to make anyone nervous never mind what he was asking of me. 

"Because I want you"

"You- you what?' I stutter

"I want you" he growled "I want you so badly babydoll." He smirked before I could even breath he moved his hips against my own pressing his hard erection against my leg 

"Uhh Benny!" I gasped in shock feeling him grind against me he smirked pressing a trail of open mouth kisses from my shoulder to below my ear 

"I want you y/n, so badly my pretty little babydoll, I want you, I need you," he groaned into my ear 

"Benny I uhh I uh I have to go' I said pushing him off me completely and running to the door grabbing my things and leaving before he could even get out a word 

"Y/n! Y/n come on! I'm sorry!" He yelled trying to come after me but I just ran upstairs and locked myself in my apartment leaning in the closed door and gasping for breath, my body shaking and my heart throbbing out of my chest. 

I laid on my little bed staring up at the ceiling unable to sleep, unable to stop thinking about earlier. Everything that happened, everything he said, did he mean it? That he wanted me… that he needed me. He couldn't have. It must have been a joke like that. Benny's called me babydoll forever even if I didn't like it mostly I think just to get on my nerves. He couldn't have meant it, this is Benny watts he has girls throwing themselves at him especially when he's away. Why would a handsome, smart well known chess champion like Benny be interested in me?

I snuck out of my bed fixing my little nightie a little slipping on my robe and my slippers checking the time, it was eleven forty. I climbed out of bed and went to the front door of my apartment I don't know what I was doing but I didn't stop myself as I unlocked my door locking it again as soon as I was outside hurrying quicker then I ever had before down to benny's apartment trying not to get drenched by the rain I opened the door with my key as quickly and quietly as I could closing it again without making a sound. The apartment was dark almost pitch black the only light the orange hue on the living area from the frosted glass window of Benny's bedroom and beam of harsher light coming from the door that was open a little shining brightly across the room. The light in his room was on, and I heard sounds that led me to believe he was awake. 

"Uuummm… uuuuummmm… uuuh!" I heard gasps and groans almost like he was in pain for a moment I was worried Incase he was hurt but I heard another sound like clicking I listened closer slipping off my slippers and my robe hanging it in the metal poles by the door steps stepping as quietly as I could towards the wall that separates his bedroom from the rest of his studio apartment the clacking sounded like… kissing. I froze thinking he had someone over with him but "uumm y/n" he groaned between the kisses I froze pushing my body against the ice cold concrete wall unsure of what I was hearing "uuuhh!! Please please…"

I was interested I couldn't stop my feet slowly and silently moving so I stood my back leant against the concrete wall my hand on my mouth to muffle my breath, I knew I should go, I knew this was wrong but I couldn't stop listening

"Uuummm… uuh! Ughh! Y/n, y/n… please." He groans "please, I need you babydoll" he almost whined "I need you so badly, please… just uumm just something, just touch me, uughhh!" He moaned rather loudly I'm surprised I couldn't hear him upstairs in my apartment "uuummm… those perfect lips, those beautiful eyes, uumm that seductive skin, uhh!! That plump little body, uhhh! I need her! I need her!" He almost screamed "please, please kiss me, touch me, uummmm fuck me" he groaned "uuummm y/n please I need you babydoll" I moved slightly trying desperately not to be caught, convinced I was dreaming this couldn't be real it couldn't. I peaked around the open door, my view slightly abstracted as the door was hinged this side, the frosted glass revealing a little more of what was inside then what I could already see.

Benny watts laid in his bed his head against the pillow, his hair out of place and matted, his skin glowing in the warm orange light, his chains gone his chest completely exposed a shine of sweat across his skin, his eyes closed and his mouth hung open in pleasure one hand grasped at his pillow the other on his mattress and sheets gripped like a tallon to the sheets in desperation, my eyes lingered on his jaw sliding down his slender neck, across his skinny but strong chest down his stomach the hint of his V before the covers concealed it from my eyes "uuhh! Babydoll… please, I need you" he whines, grinding his desperate hips against his covers. I moved trying to see more but I knocked the door making it move so I hid myself away against the concrete as the door moved and a tiny creek echoed across the apartment. There was silence. 

"... Has a little girl come to forgive me? Did she not expect to see me this way? Can she see how badly I need her now" he groaned. I kept quiet, not wanting him to know I was here and spying on him "uuhh! Your so beautiful, so gorgeous, I've felt this way for so long" he groaned "since you moved in babydoll" he smirked "I've wanted you since the first moment I saw you, I can't take it anymore, you have no idea how much strength it takes me when I see you not to…. Ummmm, rip that dress off you, or drag you to bed with me, or bend you over and fuck you senceless. But it got so bad that…" he began "I Can't do it anymore…"

I froze, confused about what he was talking about.

"I was touching so much, thinking of my sweet babydoll that… I broke myself" he explained "I can grind and I can try to… touch myself but if I do. I can't cum." He explained I felt bad that sounded so horrible makes sense why he did what he did "well… I can but it doesn't feel good. I just feel more frustrated. More frustrated it's not my babydoll touching me" he groans "even if I do try and cum, I can't cum without…. Uhh! Thinking about you." He moans grinding harder "even with… other girls" he smirked "uumm I've tried so many times, but I can't finish unless I imagine you, I have to bite my mouth with other girls because if I don't I'll just scream out for you babydoll" he explained "I've never been so desperate in my life, your all I can think about, I haven't gotten release in a two weeks, I haven't felt satisfied in a year. Please…. I need you," he begged "I'm not mad at you, for looking. Or for sneaking in. Please, if you're their babydoll. I need you, I want you so badly," he groans his hand moving from his sheets under them slowly moving "uughhh! Please, kiss me, suck me, ride me, fuck me, give me hand, give me head I don't care just… Touch me! Please babydoll please!" 

I hid myself away again unsure if I could watch this, a part of me wanted to and yet another part of me was so ashamed of looking. I could hear his moans and groans getting louder the closer he got but they always stopped suddenly for some reason

"Uummmm uuummm uuhh uuuuuh! Urrgh-"

"Uuhh! Uuhh! Uuuuuummm babydoll! urrghhh!-" 

Like everytime he got close he was stopping himself or maybe he wasn't lying maybe he really couldn't do it without me 

"Uuh fuck! Not even my imaginations enough tonight, maybe I broke that too" he groans "please babydoll, just… let me see you" he said making my body freeze "just for a moment my sweet babydoll, just… just let me look at you. just for a moment, just let me see you y/n" he begs "just one look. Nothing else I promise. I just need to see you, I need something. Anything! Just let me look at you, just till I cum that's all I ask my beautiful babydoll" he pleads I stood a moment thinking as I looked into the room but his eyes were on the door and he smiled even if I was mostly hidden away " I knew you were there. Please… just come out, I'm not mad, just let me see you" I shook my head and hid away again as I was before "no? Why not? Please I need to see you, why are you so shy? I mean… you've been looking at me haven't you babydoll? Don't I get a look too? As I'm so... desperate" I didn't answer Unsure what to say or what to do "say something then… please, if you won't touch me, and you won't let me see you then… just say something, anything, let me… ummm hear your beautiful voice I can imagine the rest just, let me hear you" he begs "please I need you!" He screamed 

"I'm sorry Benny" I answered before running as quickly as I could back to my own apartment.

Heya! I was wondering if you could do Mori, The twins(separate obviously), And Tamaki with a S/O preferably male! That uses the words “buba” “baby” “babes” “honey” “hun” a lot because he acts like the mom friend?? Maybe they get a little jealous because he calls almost everyone babes/baby/hun

AN: Leviathan and Teddy. We had fun writing this one, the request was so darn cute. For this one we did two short fics at the end <3<3! We hope you enjoy. 

Characters: Tamaki Suoh, Hikaru Hitachiin, Kaoru Hitachiin, and Takashi Morinozuka

Warning: none

x Male

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-

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Tamaki

He’s the kind of boyfriend who is very possessive but is not to the level of being an abusive boyfriend, ya know?

Like he loves you and wants other people to know you’re his but also he is totally fine with you having other male friends or friends that you’re close with

He got into the relationship knowing that you are an overly friendly person and that you love to call people pet names

but he a bitch and jelly

he baby

he want your attention only

he don’t want you call others names cause he baby and you his boyfriend

he literally hear you say “baby” or “buba” to others and he start anime crying and mushroom in corner

but he okay 

he just love you

he just overdramatic

***

Tamaki’s slummed form in the corner of the club room was the first thing Y/N noticed when he entered said room. His eyebrow raised in confusion before he approached his sulking boyfriend, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Tamaki? Are you okay, honey?” He questioned pulling his hand back and shaking off the mushrooms that had started to spread to his own skin.

The blonde’s head turned slowly towards his boyfriend with a sad face before he slumped back into the corner.

“I wouldn’t bother with that lump...” one twin started.

“He’s been like that since lunch,” the other finished.

Since lunch? What happened at lunch? Y/N was too busy talking to his friends to take notice of anything going on with Tamaki at lunch that day so what happened?

Tamaki once again turned his head to look at his boyfriend showing the face of a wounded puppy.

“Tamaki, what happened, buba?”

“That! That happened!” the blonde cried, standing up unexpectedly and shoving his finger at the shorter male.

“What?”

“Y-you! You keep calling all these other people pet names that you call me!’

“Oh? Well...would you rather me make up ones specifically for you, Tamaki?” Y/N asked, his head tilted to the side cutely. Tamaki felt his heart jump in his chest, the mushrooms on his back and shoulders falling off in response to his quick mood change.

“OOOO, Y/N-CHAN! SO CUTE!” he squealed, scooping his boyfriend up into the air and twirling him around, “I would love that!”

“Of course you would you big dork,” Haruhi commented as she walked by the two.

Hikaru and Kaoru

Hikaru

We all know Hikaru is a jealous boy

A sensitive baby 

A bit possessive too

So if he sees his man talking to others so familiarly he’s going to get territorial

Drapes himself all over him and riling up whoever they are talking to 

Often times he sets out to make them uncomfortable

But once that person is gone he’s going to confront them about

He just needs some reassurance that you are going to stay with him 

***

Hikaru’s arm slung over Y/N’s shoulder in the middle of his conversation, interrupting his thought mid sentence. Said boy looked over to his boyfriend’s face which was pressed against his. 

“Hi buba? What’s up?”

“Nothing much, just missed my beautiful boyfriend,” the taller male sneered at the person his shorter boyfriend was talking to, putting emphasis on the word boyfriend. The other guy immediately started to look uncomfortable in Hikaru’s presence as he said a quick “farewell” to Y/N before scampering off.

“Sooooo, what was that about, Hikaru?”

“What was what about?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, you’re being a jealous butt head again...Hikaru I promise you, you are the only person I like. The only person. I wish you trusted me more...” Y/N’s head lowered in sadness, turning away from his boyfriend slowly.

“Wait, Y/N. I-I do trust you...it’s just, I don’t trust other people not to get the wrong idea when you call them cute names. It does make me jealous, but I just wish other people would realize that just because you’re nice doesn’t mean you like them...”

“You’re a big dork...” Y/N muttered, turning to face Hikaru once more, “but as long as you promise to stop being mean to people I talk to...I’ll keep the very special pet names for just you...Okay?”

“Okay.”

Kaoru

Kaoru is actually less sensitive than his brother

But besides that he can still be insecure at times 

So if he is alone and see’s his special boy giving others nicknames he won’t say anything until their alone

He’ll be less aggressive than Hikaru but will still talk to his boyfriend to make sure they are on the same page

Lots of cuddles

Lots of kisses

Lots of reassurance

He just has issues with letting people in and those people betraying him

***

Both boys sat quietly in the limo on the way back to the Hitachiin house, limbs and fingers intertwined together. Kaoru’s heart was beating fast with anxiety as he continuously glanced over at his boyfriend, his mind flitting back to seeing his lover talking and joking casually with another group of guys. It made him extremely uncomfortable, not that he didn’t trust his boyfriend, he was just scared he might find someone to replace him.

“You’re sure that-”

“Kaoru, I’m sure that the only person I like is you,” Y/N cut the other boy off, softly placing his lips on Kaoru’s nose and nuzzling closer to his body, “besides, there’s no one else in the world who I would ever dream of being this close to.”

Kaoru felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders as he secured his arms around his boyfriend tightly, making sure he was as close to his body as possible.

“Y/N...I’m pretty sure I love you....and I just want you to know that I guess.”

“I love you too you big dork,” Y/N giggled, unlinking their hands to run his finger’s through the taller boy’s hair. 

Mori

Mori is the type to be jealous but not show it.

He respects and trusts you so he wouldn’t say anything after he realizes that it’s just how you talk

At first he might be a little thrown off and even a bit sensitive

Despite being such a tough guy he can be pretty sensitive when it comes to feelings and the people he really cares about, it comes with his protective nature

So in private he will probably get pretty needy to reaffirm that you care for only him in a romantic sense

***

Mori often walked Y/N home after he finished club at least once a week. Honey would often shoot Mori a sly grin and get in their limo alone to give the couple some time. 

As the two of them walked home Mori gripped Y/N’s hand gently but strong. Said boy looked up into Mori’s face and saw a slight bit of nerves on his face.

“What’s wrong Mori?”

Said man kept his stoic expression but blushed so lightly, so lightly that if someone who didn’t know Mori well enough would think it was a trick of the light. But Y/N was not just anybody and knew his boyfriend pretty well.

Thus, Y/N moved his hand from Mori’s and wrapped both arms around his waist into a sort of walking hug. Mori stiffened for a moment before relaxing into the touch and wrapping his long arm around Y/N.

“Don’t worry baby, I don’t mind you being a bit clingy with me. I think its cute.”

Mori’s blush grew a little darker at the sentiment. Y/N chuckled lightly, “You’re so adorable buba! You know you’re the only one for me!”

Waxing Gibbous  Pairing: Ezra + femNurse! Reader Rating: Hard M / 18+ ONLY

    *Note: I dedicate this installment to the beautiful @ifimayhaveaword, who really made my day today with her lovely messages of support. People like you truly mean the world to me. I appreciate you more than you know.

      * Warnings:  Some minor angst/ miscommunication/ SMUT (m/f oral, fingering, hand job, spicy kisses) Can’t stop the smut train baybeeee choo choo motherfuckers       * Summary: You process the events of the night before, and wonder about your place with Ezra and on the Green       * Word Count: 3879 *Part ONE* *Part TWO* *Part THREE* *Part FOUR*

PART FIVE

    You Awoke the next morning feeling as if it were some erotic fever dream. You stretched your arm out across the emptiness of the cot pushed beside yours. It was only when you moved to roll onto your back that the deep pang of soreness between your legs reminded you that, yes, what you’d wanted for months had actually happened, and you did indeed feel ruined.     Ezra appeared to have left the tent in the early morning haze. You gazed upward at the ceiling of the tent, at the support beams that vaulted the cloth walls. Things were going to be different, that you knew. It did not make you any less apprehensive.     He had told you he loved you. Or, more accurately, that he had love for you.

    You could not forget the tenderness he’d shown you after you were attacked, but you were well aware that things said in the heat of passion were often a product of an intense moment and were not necessarily reflective of the truth. You chided yourself for ruminating; he’d been a nanosecond from coming inside of a warm body for the first time in undoubtedly several months. From your admittedly limited sexual experiences, proclamations of love and devotion and promises of ardent follow-through were often expressed in the heat of the moment, never to be mentioned again. You usually never saw them again.

    This was different, of course, as you literally could not leave. You were both stranded, though you still kept up the pretense of harvesting in the event an opportunity to escape should present itself. The chance of this happening had begun to seem less and less likely- the heyday of the aurelac rush had long since come and gone, and the remaining groups of adventurers to the Green operated more or less on whispered rumors and folklore.     The zipper of the tent pulled upward, and Ezra emerged. The flaps were quickly refastened, and he moved to whip his helmet off as you shyly pulled your worn blanket up to your neck. You had been wanton and vocal the night before, but in the light of the morning you felt fragile, unsure. Ezra looked to you, seemingly amused by your sudden modesty. The corner of his mouth tilted up, his warm brown eyes twinkled. The blond patch of hair, a rogue among it’s dark compatriots, stuck out wildly in response to the chaotic divestment of his helmet. He wasn’t even close to you and your heart started pounding.     “Ah, good morning to you, Dove. I was hoping you would continue your slumber a bit longer. I have spent some time in the early light surveying the Green for signs of life and transport, not necessarily in that order, of course.”     In the months since you’d first met him in the clearing on that fateful day, his arm had fully recovered thanks to your ministrations- all that remained was a cratered, puckering pink scar on the skin of his bicep. He wore a threadbare grey tee under his suit and this drew your eye to the wound. If something were to happen to you, if this did not pan out and you either died or escaped, were separated, would he remember you when he saw his scar? Would it be with fondness, or would it only remind him of how traumatic this all was?      Why am I thinking like this?     It was the fact that he had admitted, out loud, that he was looking for a way out, a way off of the Green. You knew that you would both die if you could not find a way to go, it was only logical. So why were you nursing this pang of melancholy that had emerged when you’d awoken to find his cot empty?     You came back to yourself, and noted the concern etched on Ezra’s face as he contemplated you.     “Have I said or done something to upset you, Dove? That has rendered you mute?”     He moved across the floor of the tent with a lithe grace and perched on the edge of your cot, placing a hand on your knee.     “Are you feeling alright?”     You sighed, smiling softly when you felt his touch on you, warm and heavy. “Better than alright, Ez. I….can’t….I guess I’m still trying to wrap my head around what happened last night.”     He creased his brow in contemplation and turned to face you fully.  “I must admit, I myself did not envision such intimacy occurring between us in the manner it did. I…. fear I may have been a fair bit rougher than I meant to be at the outset. I need you to be truthful if I hurt you in any way.”     You bit your lip, and your neck and face felt hot. Flashes of him caging you, filling you, his words, hot breath and hands, the way the cot had creaked like it was pleading for its life…     “I….really loved everything about last night. It’s been a long time since I’ve been with anyone...like that. So honestly, I’m sore. But in a...good way?”     He surged forward, framing your face with his hands. His voice left his plush lips in a hoarse whisper. His eyes held yours, hypnotic and deep.     “Will you feel me with every step you take today? I’m going to watch you. I have never felt such intensity with anyone the way I felt it when we took our pleasure last night. I don’t want it to stop.”     You were flushed, your ears buzzed. Your mind filled with static. How could he practically dismantle you in this way with only words? You realized your mouth was hanging open. You snapped it shut and swallowed audibly.     Ezra’s clever tongue darted to wet his lips before squeezing your knee and standing.     “Get dressed, Dove. We’ve a day ahead of us.”

    It was another hot day in the Green, and you both resumed your digging, harvesting and cataloguing as if it were any other afternoon. For all intents and purposes, it was. Ezra waxed poetic about the juxtaposition of the beauty surrounding you beside the deadliness of the air, how the regular exchange of oxygen, hydrogen and carbon dioxide were perverted carbon copies of the vegetation you were both used to which processed and sustained an atmosphere more life-sustaining.      You hummed at the appropriate moments, but your mind was on your conversation in the tent. What he had said to you seemed indicative of the fact that he intended to continue a physical relationship. It made you feel equal parts giddy and insecure. You frowned in thought.     Snap the fuck out of it. You’re no delicate, blushing maiden. You know yourself. You’re seriously thinking like some incapable, dependent damsel the second you get some good dick??     Except you moved a certain way while crouching down and you winced, gasping softly. Ezra stopped mid-sentence and turned his gaze toward you, his eyes dark, his tongue once again flicking out to moisten his lips.     “Are you injured, little Dove?” he asked, smiling softly.     “Uh, no, not exactly. You know, what I told you before...I’m fine, really.”     He sauntered over to you and held out his hand. You grasped it, and he pulled you to your feet so that your helmets were touching.     “As cocky as I may have seemed at the outset in regards to the way I left my mark on you, do not think it is no little concern to me to see your movements impaired. My words were not meant to denote any sadistic pleasure taken in regards to your objective discomfort.”     His hands were stroking gently up and down your arms as he spoke.     You shrugged under his hands, a flash of annoyance crossing your features.     “I’m really fine, Ez. I’m not some wilting flower that you’ve irreparably damaged with your Godlike virility. I promise you, my delicate, blushing womanhood will recover.”     Ezra cocked an eyebrow in surprise. His hands stilled as he paused a beat before responding.     “Now that is something I would not anticipate. The thought that for one moment I consider you anything less than an equal, in fact a superior to myself in several ways, not the least of which include cunning and resilience. It saddens me that you think that of me.”     All at once you felt like a jerk. Damn this emotional lability, damn this stubborn pride. Ezra was genuinely concerned that you were in pain, and you were jumping at the opportunity to argue semantics and gender roles. On a toxic planet you were both stranded on, no less.     You reached for his gloved hand, squeezing firmly. His hand squeezed back, equally firm.     “I don’t know why I said that, Ezra. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I sound like an asshole, I’m sorry.”     You’ve gotten into me.

    You were back in the tent after determining that the day's work had finished. It was quiet, Ezra ruminated. The tension had surely rebuilt itself over the course of the day, there was only so much harvesting, so much concentration on work that could be accomplished, before it came to this. The both of you, stripped to your thermals. You lay as you had countless times before, facing one another on your cots. Ezra swept his thumb lazily back and forth across your knuckles. You felt like you could drown in the depths of him.      “I’m sorry again about what I said to you today. I don’t know why I said it. I didn’t mean it.”     “Though you have nothing to apologize for, Dove, I will readily accept if it will still the turbulence within you. I meant what I said, and I have you to thank for every bit of happiness I doubted I’d ever feel in this Kevva-forsaken place. My arm, my livelihood. My life. If not for you I’d have faded forgotten like so many other poor, foolish dupes. My very survival is due to your strength and intellect.”     You felt full to bursting at his words, overwhelmed by his sincerity. You couldn’t respond, so you propelled yourself forward and pressed your lips to his desperately. He stilled only momentarily, startled at your boldness, before he responded hungrily. Lips slid, teeth clashed. His tongue begged entry into your mouth, which you granted with a whimper. He tasted somehow sweet, wild. His breaths gasped into your mouth, you pushed your own back into him. Hands tangled in hair. You had yet to see him unclothed, you reached out and grasped his shirt in your needy fist. Ezra immediately took the hint and stripped it. You removed your own and his hands were at once on your breasts, large warm hands that enveloped each in turn, greedy and restless. He couldn’t touch enough of you at once.     His hands moved to your waist, tearing at your pants. You helped him pull them off and fling them to the ground. You felt like you were radiating heat, you were a thermal detonator. Ezra pinched your nipple, applying slight pressure into the bud with his thumb nail. Your nerves sparked and sang, your ass arching off of your cot like you’d been hit by an electrical current.     You gasped, your trembling hands moving to divest him of his pants.     His hand shot down to still yours. You both paused, the only sound within the confines of your quarters were the loud gasps that echoed between you.     “Is….is something wrong?”     Ezra fought to still his breathing. “Sweet girl, I have not forgotten my rough congress with you the night before. I do not want to risk exacerbating your discomfort. You should recover, first, from our mutual enthusiasm.”     You groaned in frustration. “I’ll be fine. Ezra, I promise you won’t break me.”     You palmed him through his trousers, Kevva he was so hard. So hot. You swore you were salivating. Ezra stilled, breath held in an attempt to maintain his composure.     “Please grant me this, at least for my own peace of mind. Just for tonight. Allow me, if I may, to indulge in an alternate form of intimacy, one which I’ve dreamed of sharing with you since your first trick with the Sater.” The last sentence was gritted out between clenched teeth.     Your eyes wide, you bit your lip and barely finished a frenzied nod before Ezra was pinning your hands above your head and scraping his teeth against the juncture of your neck and shoulder. It was somehow different, more measured, if no less intense. You let a shiver run through your body as Ezra moved down to first one breast, then the other. He opened his mouth wide and covered the entirety of your nipple and sucked. You gasped, already overwhelmed. You felt as if you could lose your mind as he possessed you. Teeth scraped and teased, and he made sure the peak of your breast was properly slicked before repeating the motions on your other breast. You keened out into the cycled air of the tent as the wet surface of your skin cooled, warring with the sinful furnace of Ezra’s mouth on your other breast.     He disengaged, intentions clear as he continued to kiss, lick, and nip down the length of your body. You were struck mute and trembling. You didn’t realize he had let go of your hands, and you were so mesmerized that you kept them stationary above your head. Ezra reached your drenched core and settled between your legs, pressing feather-light kisses to your inner thighs as you whimpered. He was going to kill you. He paused, and as you realized he was beginning to part your inner folds you started and reflexively started to close your legs. Ezra huffed, placing a searing palm against the inside of your knee in protest.     “Don’t be shy, sweet girl. There is no shame here with me. I consider it a compliment of the highest order that you are blooming for me like this.” He moved to lay his head against the side of your thigh. He felt inches away from you. You could feel every warm exhale against your dripping sex, hypersensitive, attuned to every word and movement.     “Look at you,” he crooned reverently. “I don’t believe I’ve ever seen arousal so profound. Glistening like a jewel. Every blushing fold spread open and ready. The temple of this divine cunt fluttering and weeping for me.”     You choked out a broken groan at his words and tilted your hips toward him desperately. Impossibly, you felt him closer, his breaths tiny explosions on your swollen core. He groaned back in response and dragged his fingers languidly through your slick.     “.....smell so good…”     Before you could register his words he darted forward and licked from your clenching hole up to your clit, his tongue wide and flat. Ezra ran his tongue back down to your base before repeating the motion twice more.     It was a feeling so intense, sensation so overwhelming to you, that you could not speak, only throw your head back with eyes and mouth wide in a silent scream. Your hands hammered down to your sides and you tore at the sheets beneath you.     “....taste so fucking good.”     You gasped his name like a prayer. You were incapable of speech, your mind blank. Over the din of white noise between your ears, you heard Ezra speaking your name reverently.     You forced your head up to meet his gaze. Your arousal was a wet sheen across his face, his eyes blown wide, hair wild. So beautiful.     “You still with me, Dove?” You could only give him another desperate nod.      You then watched, eyes wide and shocked, as Ezra opened his wicked mouth and let a strand of spittle drip down from his lips and roll down to coat your engorged clit.     “Ezra...oh my fucking God,” You moaned. He could kill you in this moment, snuff your life like a wasted candle and you would thank him.     When he next attached his mouth to you and began to tongue your fluttering cunt, you could not stop the noises that left your gasping mouth. You could not keep track of the groans, whimpers, screams, pleas that left you like an incantation. If you’d been able to form a coherent thought, you may have even supposed (correctly) that Ezra would be cataloguing every single one.     When he moved his mouth back to your aching clit, he replaced his tongue with two thick fingers and entered you easily. He began a slow, deep pace while his tongue danced across and upon your bud. Your legs began to shake of their own accord, muscles jumping and fluttering. Ezra placed a hand across your stomach to steady you, murmuring low praises.     “I’ve got you. I’ve got you. So good. Come for me sweetheart. Let go, release onto my tongue, spill your ecstasy into my mouth.”     He resumed the labor of his fingers within your walls and latched his mouth to your bud and began sucking.     The pressure in your belly, between your legs, through your limbs stretched tight and snapped, and you roared Ezra’s name into the void of the Green. You were shaking, you were flying apart, the world could be crumbling down around you, you did not care.     I’m dying, you thought. You could not think beyond the white-hot, searing pleasure that sparked through and lit up every nerve ending. Ezra worked you through your explosive release, easing you down with slow licks and kisses as he greedily consumed every drop of his victory. He finally relented and crawled back up your shaking body. He kissed you wantonly, gasping into your mouth. You tasted your own arousal and release on his lips and tongue- it was intoxicating. He kissed you as if he would die if he stopped, his hands cradling your face.     “Ezra,” you moaned, your breaths and heart rate finally beginning to slow. “Ezra, that was…..” You felt him smirk against your mouth. You gasped out a laugh and wound your arms around his shoulders.     “Proud of yourself, are you?” You swore on your soul that he giggled.     “While I must admit fault has never been found in my technique, I don’t believe I’ve ever had a response so….intense. You do wonders for my ego, Dovie.” He whispered, tucking his nose into your neck. You stroked his back, your limbs heavy and loose. You could have drifted away like this but for the hardness you felt against your hip.     “Hey, Ez?”     “Mmmfff.”     “What about you?”     To punctuate your point, your hand reached down to palm him through his trousers. Ezra’s demeanor immediately changed, lazy grin stilling as he gasped and groaned against you.     “I believe I told you I wanted you in my mouth last night, Ezra. I still do.”     “You don’t have to, sweet one. I wanted to take care of you tonight,” he gasped, even as he began to rock his hips into your open hand.     “I want to take care of you, too,” You whispered against his mouth. You were startled by the desire flooding into you once again- Ezra had fully wrung you out, you should be exhausted. Instead, the flames of your lust were stoked once again as you rolled him onto his back and began to undo his pants. Ezra stared down at you, his breathing hitched and baited. His hands were fisted on either side of him, he looked almost scared to move.     You revealed his swollen aching cock, red and weeping. He was so aroused the head of him was almost purple. You swore you could see his pronounced veins pulsating. Your felt your cunt clench, further shocking you. You realized your mouth was watering.     “I need this divine cock in my mouth, Ezra. I want to watch you fall apart for me.”     Ezra whined, hands clutching in desperation as yours were only a short time before.     You flashed him a salacious grin and opened your mouth to spew your own string of saliva to cascade down the head of his cock. Ezra gasped, eyes wide.     “Turnabout is fair play, Sir.”      Shudders racked his body as you lowered your head, placing delicate kisses at the base of him before working your way up. Ezra quickly became a panting, groaning mess, knocking his head into the pillow. The cords of his neck stood out in stark relief as his hips canted upward in search of more of your mouth, more of anything.     “Please, sweet girl,” he moaned, is voice thin and reedy, “Please. I need more….”     You glanced up at him as your hand slowly pumped his length, considering, before once again leaning forward. Without preamble you opened your mouth and took him down as far as you could. The cries that erupted from him at your action could have awakened any floater within a 15-mile radius. You wanted to hear it again, so you dislodged him from your mouth before repeating your action. You clasped hour hands around the sizable part of him that did not fit, lacing your fingers together. You pressed your palms against the slick shaft and worked him slowly and steadily while the obscene, wet noises coming from your mouth reverberated throughout your quarters.     Ezra was properly wrecked, sobbing and gasping, pleading for you to continue.     “You're going to kill me,” he whined, and it caused a fresh flood of arousal to run down the insides of your thighs. He was so, so close. You could feel his cock twitch and swell impossibly. You raised your eyes to meet his, mouth popping off of him, strands of spit stretching like cables between your parted lips and his glistening head. Catching your breath, you wiped the back of your hand across your mouth.     “Come in my mouth, Ezra.”     Ezra could only whimper in response, hands buried in your hair as you sank back onto him. You bobbed your head once, twice, three times, and then he was painting your mouth and tongue with his seed. You struggled to swallow it all, it seemed neverending. Ezra sobbed, shouting half-formed words and unintelligible praises into the air. His hips twitched and rolled up rhythmically as you struggled to keep him captured within the confines of your mouth.      You swallowed each spurt eagerly until Ezra tugged at your hair, hypersensitized, to pull you up his chest. His limbs trembled in aftershocks as his arms wrapped around you. His heart continued to hammer in his chest as you lay your head on him. You reached a hand up to cup his face. Ezra leaned into it, turning his head and placing a kiss to the palm of your hand.     “You are magical, Dove. Transcendent. I do not deserve you.”     You yawned and burrowed your head into the crook of his neck. You were suddenly exhausted.      You stayed entwined on your cots, breaths slowing and steadying as you both found your slumber. Inhaling as you exhaled, you dreamed of escape, daring to hope against hope that there was a way to leave and make your way to something better.      Something you both deserved.

a basic guide to kin, ‘linkers, and more

TW // UNCENSORED MENTIONS OF S//CIDE, M//RDER, AND D//EATH.

Before we start, just a preface. this is NOT A DISCOURSE POST. I don’t care if you think someone else’s personal belief is stupid. If someone believing they were a fictional character in a past life just makes you THAT angry, maybe you should idk. talk to an anger management counselor? 

I DO NOT CONDONE THE PEOPLE THAT STEAL DID TERMS AND CALL THEM KIN TERMS. IF ANY TERM I USE IN THIS POST IS A DID TERM, PLEASE LET ME KNOW SO I CAN CORRECT MY ERROR AND USE THE CORRECT TERMS!

I am personally fiction-kin. This means that i believe that I was a fictional character in a past life. That’s it! That’s really all there is to it. There are infinite possibilities for people to believe in, as we genuinely have no clue what happens before or after death. Its like any other belief someone may have, it’s just been designated as cringe and stupid. 

TERMS TO KNOW:

ID: Stands for identity! This is fairly synonymous with Kintype, as its your identity, just like kintypes. 

Kin: People who are kin come in two forms: Spiritual, and Psychological. Spiritual kin believe in reincarnation, and that they were one of their kintypes in a past life. Psychological kins however, believe that they really are that character. This type of kin encapsulates everything that is NOT a spiritual belief, whatever that may be, they fall under this category.

Kin-Shift: a kinshift is simply defined as when you feel much more connected to that particular kintype than usual! Psychological shifts are the most common, in which you begin to think and act a little bit more like the kintype you are shifted as at the moment. Phantom shifts are when you feel as if you are missing a body part/limb that one of your kintypes has. These are called astral limbs! Not to be confused with phantom limbs, which is a term used for amputees. PHANTOM LIMBS CAN BE SCIENTIFICALLY EXPLAINED, ASTRAL LIMBS CANNOT. This is kind of a no-brainer, but anyone who claims to be able to “physically shift” is duping you. The physical strain that would put on the body would quite literally kill you.

Kintype: Someones kintype is the character, animal, or mythological creature they are kin with! This is the correct terminology in the sentence “My kintype is Nagito Komaeda!” or “One of my kintypes is a cat.” 

Permashift: Similar to ID, this is a kintype that you tend to be in shift as for more than just a couple hours. This could be for days, weeks, or even months. 

Co-Shift: A co-shift is basically what it sounds like, it is when you experience more than one kinshift at once. Not much more to it! DO NOT CONFUSE THIS TERM WITH THE DID TERM CO-CON. THE TERM IS NOT INTENDED TO MIMIC, MOCK, OR STEAL THIS TERM.

Otherkin: People are under the otherkin umbrella are people who are kin with animals, mythological creatures, or anything else. Some distinctions that can be found under this are; Plantkin, Godkin, Lionkin, Catkin, etc. Fictionkin do not fall under this category! They are distinct different sub-genre of kin.

Kin mem/memory: A kin memory is a phenomena in which people who are spiritually kin will experience memories from one of their past lives. This can come thru a distinct feeling of deja vu, a flashback type moment, or a vivid dream that seems to coherent and fits into your canon too well to be just an ordinary dream. Psychological kins may experience kin mems as well, however i am not as versed in that so i am not the person to ask on that matter.

Kinsider: When you are determining whether a character, creature, being, or etc. is a kintype or not.

Synpath: A synpath is what most “new wave kinnies” mistake for being genuinely kin.This is a character that you sympathize with on a heavy level, and feel like you identify WITH them. You heavily relate to this character, and can see yourself in them. THIS IS NOT KIN. Having a synpath is perfectly fine. ITS FINE NOT TO BE KIN.

Linktypes: A ‘link is the voluntary way to be kin. People who ‘link identify as the entity they’re ‘linking with for fun, coping, or any other reason. ‘linkers can experience mems, shifts, and everything else. The major distinction is that ‘links are voluntary for whatever reason, while being kin IS NOT.

Fictionhearted/Hearttypes/Kithtypes/Fictionkith: Being fictionhearted is very often confused with being fictionkin to the untrained eye, however there are some fundamental differences. The two communities developed separately, and therefore have separate core ideas that categorize you as one or the other. Otherhearted means that you have a strong connection to the species specified, in the way that you feel as if they are your friends or family WITHOUT identifying spiritually or psychologically as these species. Hearttypes are characters/species that you identify WITH, but not AS. For example, someone that has Mikan Tsumiki as a hearttype would identify WITH her. When looking at her, there would be a distinct feeling of, “this is me,” or “this is what I’m supposed to be.” Fictionkith is just another word for the same thing! (Please correct me if I’m wrong, there aren’t many sources about the topic. If any fictionkith/fictionhearted people want to talk about their experience in the replies, please go for it! I’d love to hear more.)

Fictionflicker: Flickers are basically what the name implies, kintypes that aren’t permanent. Your kintype may be a flicker if, once you start to distance yourself from the source, it starts to “fade away.” Fictionflicker has a nearly identical dichotomy to being kin, but they eventually fade away. Kin mems, kin-shifts, and everything else occurs for them too! 

Factkin: Despite what people may tell you, people who are factkin are crossing a line that should not be crossed. It is identity theft to identify as a real living person, and disrespectful to identify as people who have passed. If you are factkin, I recommend looking into identity theft, talking to a therapist, and re-evaluating your beliefs. People who are factkin are genuinely harmful.

WHAT NOT TO DO:

DO NOT SAY “SWITCHING” OR “FRONTING” WHEN REFERRING TO A KINSHIFT. THIS IS ACTIVELY STEALING DID TERMS, AND RE-PURPOSING TERMS FROM A REAL MENTAL DISORDER AND MAKING THEM A PART OF YOUR BELIEF. 

“KINNING” IS NOT THE CORRECT TERMINOLOGY. THIS WAS CREATED BY PEOPLE WHO ARE ANTI-KIN TO DEMEAN THE MEANING OF BEING KIN, AND THE IDENTITY THAT COMES WITH IT.

WHILE “KINNIE” IS AN INSULT, IT IS NOT AND NEVER WILL BE A SLUR. STOP TREATING IT LIKE IT IS ONE. DON’T SAY IT IF THE RECEIVING PARTY ISN’T COMFORTABLE WITH IT, BUT ITS LIKE EVERY OTHER PLAY INSULT. STOP IT.

STOP TELLING FICTIVES OR PEOPLE THAT HAVE GENUINE DELUSIONS THAT THEY ARE JUST KIN, OR ARE LESS VALID THAN YOU. THAT IS GENUINELY ABLEIST JUST FUCKING STOP.

IF YOU GENUINELY BELIEVE YOU CAN EVENTUALLY BE, OR ARE PHYSICALLY THE CHARACTER/ANIMAL, PLEASE SEEK MEDICAL HELP. THESE MAY BE SYMPTOMS OF CLINICAL LYCANTHROPY. ALTER-HUMAN/KIN COMMUNITIES CANNOT HELP YOU WITH THESE SYMPTOMS.

BEING KIN IS NOT ALWAYS SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS/TALKING ABOUT THE DOWNSIDES, AND DEBUNKING COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS:

Despite what new wave kins want you to believe, being kin isn’t always fun. For people that are genuinely kin, people will insult them, they’ll get horrendous kin mems, and no one will believe what they’re saying just because they’re kin. People spread misinformation constantly, saying that we believe we’re “trans-species,” and making us out to be like the “trans-racial” or “trans-disabled communities. This notion has been so popularized by anti-kin that it’s even made its way onto the official Wiktionary page, in which it states that kin believe they’re “trans-species.” This is not true, and was originally popularized here on tumblr by anti-kin/satire blogs trying to make us all look like transphobic idiots. However, some people genuinely do identify as trans-species, and should be treated as valid. They are not intending to mock transgender people, this is just how they identify. People who are kin do not believe that they are, or can be, the character/animal they identify as. People who do SHOULD NOT be classified as kin, as that is usually delusions. CALLING PEOPLE WITH DELUSIONS KIN IS ABLEIST, AND BUILDS MORE OF A STIGMA AROUND PEOPLE WITH DELUSIONS. Insults can include calling us annoying or stupid, “kinnies,” comparing us to people with genuine delusions (which is more spreading disinformation and insulting to people with delusions,) saying that we’re lying or invalid because they don’t personally hold the belief, etc. Anti-kin like to generalize as well, and lump in harmless kin that just want to have fun with factkin, people who steal DID terms, and people who harass others over kin drama. Kin just want to be let be, and be allowed to have fun in peace. STOP DERAILING POSITIVITY POSTS JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK ITS STUPID, OR YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN IT. THE POST ISN’T WELCOMING DISCOURSE, AND YOU’RE JUST BEING AN ASSHOLE. On to kin mems, these can be awful and extremely hard to deal with. People who are kin from Danganronpa could get mems of their own executions or murders, people who are otherkin could get kin mems of being hunted or poached, and people who are kin from DDLC could get kin mems of their suicides. Whether you think they’re fake or not, these people are genuinely feeling like they are reliving their own death. Please, just stop making fun of peoples kin mems when they’re doing nothing wrong.

Some pages I used as refrence, which are just general good resources: Toko.Mango on Instagram, the otherkin fandom wiki, miviele.kins on Instagram, and some personal experience as well as experiences from fictionkin friends.

PLEASE feel free to add on to this post! This is just a starter guide, intended to give a base to start from when finding out about kin communities!

Edit: Some corrections have been made to the ID section, to “trans-species,” and the psychological kin section. If you have any other corrections for me to make, let me know!

Edit: this post was really uneducated pretend i said stuff that made sense <3<3

description. you and your coworkers were intensely shocked and sent into an uproar when a large group of idols suddenly came in.

genre. is there even one?? MAMA 2020 AU I GUESS

warnings. nonee

a/n. i dont even know where to start cudndn i just thought it would be funny to vision how it was like when nct went to mcdonalds it’s not the best idea ever but i just wanted to write about it HAHAHA enjoy!! :D

-

Me working part time on a Sunday night went as per usual. Being a cashier at McDonalds couldn’t be any more easier. Well, except for unsatisfied customers and what not, but those were rarely seen at the McDonalds I worked at.

However, I got to know that today was a special day.

“We’re so lucky!” I heard my coworker and also the only friend I have while working, Julie, cried out with her face lit with excitement. I questioned her sudden thrilling attitude with a, “Exactly why are we lucky?”

Julie took in a deep breath. “MAMA 2020 is tonight and the venue is nearby!” She announced, hopping a little in her spot.

I still have yet to understand what she meant. I kept silent and stared at her to urge her to explain further. Julie groaned and shook her head while placing a hand on her forehead.

“It means that we get to see the MAMA participants passing through.” Julie leaned her hip against the edge of the counter where she would hand out the ready made meals.

It took my awhile to process what she said. With the use of my background knowledge, which is mainly Julie blabbering into my ear as well as what she posts often on her social media, I realised that what she meant was that we would be able to see K-pop idols going past to reach the venue of the awards show. I gaped my mouth open and let out an, “Ah...” while I nodded my head in affirmation.

“Wait but you won’t even be able to see them they’ll be in cars.” I added on, tilting my head with furrowed eyebrows as I gave it more thought.

What I said made Julie let out a disappointing sigh and frown. I patted her back when I looked behind to see my other coworker in the back wanting to hand the ready made food to Julie, signalling her with a jerk of my head.

“You think you’ll meet them? In your dreams, Julie.” I let out before attending to the next customer and getting their order.

After awhile, the place slowly got less crowded except for some groups of teenagers who apparently dont go home and could stay till very late.

I thought it was a pretty good time to take out the trash and asked Julie to fill in for me while I did so.

I brought out the bags of trash out of the store and to the parking lot where the large dustbins are at. I then narrowed my eyes and raised an eyebrow in suspicion as I got a clear look of the parking lot.

“Why the fuck are there a bunch of cars here? And people...” I muttered to myself under my breath as I looked at the people standing beside the cars. They look like regular people who were freezing to death due to the cold season of December till a few people step out of the cars wearing suits. I couldn’t exactly identify their faces but they seemed to be people of high class. Very high class.

I could only imagine what the people outside those cars feel like. It already looked extremely cramped due to the numbers of cars parked in the somewhat small parking lot. And they seemed like they needed to stay outside due to the people in the car. I wondered for a moment who could be so important in those cars that they couldn’t take turns being in and out of the car.

I shook my head in disbelief, wondering why I’m digging so much into a situation I wasn’t in. I quickly went back, not wanting Julie to ask me why I was out for such a long time.

“We’re open for 24 hours but the only people who seem to be coming in at 3AM are random teenagers who look like they got nowhere else to go.” Julie commented as I took my place back behind the register.

I exhaled sharply, puffing my chest out for a moment while I looked out to the wide windows of the restaurant that only showed me a dark blank sky. “At least we’ll still get paid without doing much work.” I mumbled as I leaned against the counter with my elbow and placing my chin on my palm.

-

I was casually scrolling through Instagram and Twitter while Julie was playing some kind of mobile game when I heard the bell above the door rang, signalling that someone came into the shop. I didn’t bother looking up to see who it was yet, since I was in the middle of reading an article.

What caught my attention suddenly though was the fact that I didn’t hear only one set of footsteps. I heard a bunch. Like a large group of people coming in one at a time with the bell constantly ringing as more people came in.

Getting irritated by the noise of the bell, I looked up from my phone with an annoyed huff. “What can I get for you-“

I couldn’t complete my sentence as I saw what was in front of me. I blinked my eyes rapidly in awe and tilted my head. They could probably tell I was either in shock or fear (or maybe both) when I heard the guy nearest to the counter said, “We’re sorry to shock you but-“

I placed a hand in front of me to signal him to stop talking as I suddenly heard a ruckus suddenly happening behind me. I turned around and raised both my eyebrows. What happened really added more to the shock and terror I was feeling. I could tell that my other coworkers are radiating the same energy.

“Why did Julie faint?!” My coworker shouted. As my coworkers were trying to see if Julie was alive, one of them turned to me with eyes of worrisome and said, “You go handle those customers.” I heard him say faintly as his voice was overpowered by the bunch of men chattering in the background. 

I nodded my head furiously. I was concerned for Julie yet I knew we had to attend to whoever these people were. I took a deep breath before turning around to meet the eyes of the many... attractive men ahead of me. As I got a closer look of each one of them, my jaw practically dropped to the floor. They’re stunning, was I could think about.

“We’re stunning, we know.” Did he just read my mind or- My thoughts got cut off as I looked up to meet the eyes of a very tall man who had shoulder length blonde hair. I shivered at the amount of height difference between me and him. “Johnny can you please be humble I swear.” 

“I mean it’s true.” The Johnny guy shrugged nonchalantly and folded his arms, turning to me and cocking up an eyebrow. One of them hits his chest, making him wince and glaring at the man. “I’m really sorry there’s 23 of us here and it might sound crazy but we need you to prepare 23 meals.” 

I scoffed in amusement at his words as I looked away from the 23 men in front of me for a moment. “There’s no way...” I muttered as I scanned my eyes across the room, looking at each one of their faces. 

“We’re NCT. You don’t know us?” Another guy came up to me. At this point, the amount of shock I felt couldn’t possibly be described with words. First it was because of the large number of attractive men in suits suddenly came in and now I just got to know that they’re the idols from MAMA 2020 that Julie was talking about. I guess that explained why she fainted. I could barely respond to any of their questions or comments. 

I started to grow annoyed at the amount of chattering that was happening all at once. It felt overwhelming and it seriously stressed me out. As much as I like how suddenly a group of popular idols came in, the place couldn’t get any more chaotic. 

“Okay whoever you are, please tell them to be quiet I can’t take your orders like this.” I said to the same guy who was nearest to me. He brought his head down slightly as an apology. “I’m really sorry o behave of them. I’m Taeyong by the way.” I nodded with a reluctant smile as I watched him turn around to get his members to quieten down. 

I waited as Taeyong gets the orders of his members one by one. I assumed he was the leader of this NCT idol group since he seemed to be one that looks like he’s in charge and the most responsible. After literally 30 minutes of constant discussions and arguments that I honestly had fun watching since I felt that they were just being crackheads have passed that he finally came up to me with a piece of paper. 

I took a look at it as exhaled sharply at the long list of very specific orders that me and my coworkers had to make. I glanced to the back, seeing Julie still unconscious while sitting on a chair with my coworkers surrounding her. 

“Uh this might take awhile.” I turned my head back to the front and looked down at the piece of paper. “Just be quick. We need to get back to our cars soon.” My eyebrows furrowed at his words. “Wait so it was your cars at the parking lot?” Taeyong nodded his head furiously before giving me a bright smile. I blow out the air in my cheeks before telling him to be seated with his other members and going over to my coworkers. 

“Alright. We have the orders. There’s plenty, and they’re specific. It’s going to get hectic. But we need to finish this quick so we can rest for the night. Okay?” 

My coworkers exchanged doubtful looks to each other but soon gave nods of confidence before looking at me with subtle smiles. I gave a bright smile before I clapped my hands once. “Let’s get to work then.” 

With that, everyone set out to do their separate jobs to get the meals done. One by one, the completed meals began to stack up quickly. Though I was only a cashier, I tried my best to help them out with small favours and also arranging the meals on top of the counter. 

As I placed one of the meals on the counters, I took a look at what they were doing. I was definitely stunned by how many tables they filled. Some tables looked small due to the large physique of some of them. 

“Here’s the drinks!” I turned around to see my coworkers carrying a bunch of drinks of various sizes. I quickly took it from him and placed it on the counter. I then grabbed the sheet of paper with the orders and checked the readied meals one by one. Luckily, there were only five meals left and there aren’t any mistakes in the completed ones. 

I shouted to my coworkers in the back that they only had five meals left to do. I smiled to myself as I heard the cheers of my coworkers that encouraged each other to finish their work once and for all.

“Also just a warning.” I turned my body around quickly as I heard a voice. “What?” I asked, a hint of nervousness showed in my tone as I thought of the fact that they might be asking for more meals. “Um Taeyong told me to tell you that there might be another group coming in since they had to wait in the parking lot in cars like us and are probably hungry.” 

“You got to be fucking kidding me-”

“Hey hey no swearing in front of Jisung. He’s still a baby.” Another man appeared behind him as he swung his arm over his shoulders. 

“I’m not a kid anymore, Jaehyun.” The smaller figured man said, ending with a ‘tsk’ and a glare. 

I could only raise an eyebrow at the interaction in front of me but felt a burden starting to rise in me as I thought of what he said. Another idol group? As large as them? My coworkers could literally faint. I turned around to see if Julie had awaken. She was standing up with both her hands covering her mouth. 

“It’s NCT!” Julie shouted, pointing her index finger to the group of men sitting on the tables. “At least she knows us.” One of them said. 

“Oh my god Haechan just talked to me! Holy shit!” Julie jumped in her spot while I raised my eyebrows in amusement. “Can I get Jaehyun’s signature, please?” 

“Julie. Go help the others in the back first.” I told her with a stern tone. Julie suddenly grew quiet with a pout appearing on her lips as she turned to the back and started helping out. 

Soon, all the orders have finally been completed. I looked through to check for errors one last time before calling them out. Taeyong came up and handed me his credit card. It was expensive but I wasn’t surprised since they’re idols and of course they’re rich. 

“Thank you. I’m sorry for putting you and your coworkers through this.” He said as he carried some of the bags while he called out a few others to carry the rest. “Yeah, yeah..” I whispered softly under my breath, just wanting all this chaos to end.

“Wait I need Jaehyun’s signature!” Julie shouted. Jaehyun turned around and gave her a bright smile to her direction. I swore I’ve never seen her this happy But clearly you be this excited when an unreal situation by having your idols show up at your workplace becomes true, 

Jaehyun walked up to Julie who had a pen and paper in her hand. “What’s your name?” He asked. “Kim Julie. Shit you’re so good looking up close.” Julie said with her hand covering her mouth again while Jaehyun signed on the paper she gave. Jaehyun chuckled as he completed signing and gave the paper back to her. She placed it against her chest and bowed her head down and thanking him profusely. Jaehyun gave a smile one last time before joining back to his groups. 

I looked to see why they have yet to leave. I swear I was desperate for some air to breathe due to how crowded it was. I realised that Taeyong as counting the number of members before heading off. It made sense since I could only imagine how hard it is to keep track of twenty three members. It’s like a teacher taking his class on a trip. 

“Nineteen, twenty... Wait where’s Lucas and Doyoung?!” I heard Taeyong shout to his members. The other started looking around with looks of anxiousness in their eyes. “Uh Doyoung’s here.” I couldn’t spot who said that but as soon as the members gave space. I see a guy who looked extremely weirded out at where he was. “Wait aren’t you from Treasure-” 

“Where’s your leader?” 

“Guys Lucas is here.” I turned my head to where the toilet was to see a guy pulling the other by the collar while he shouts in defense to let him go. When the two finally got back to the group, the others looked at him with a suspicious look. “What were you doing in the toilet the whole time?”

“Uh a VLive..?” Lucas raised his both shoulders. “In the toilet? My god.” 

“Okay okay! I got a call from our manager he said we won an award! We need to get going!”

“What about Doyoung?”

“Which one?”

“The one from Treasure. I don’t even know how he ended up here.” 

Taeyong walked up the guy and placed both hands on his shoulders. “I’ll tell your leader that you’re here to come pick you up, okay?” He nodded and took a seat one. 

While one of them opened the door to finally get out, all of the let out gasps of shock and instantly took a bow to whoever was outside.I could hear them exchanging ‘Hello’s while the people outside made way to allow them to come in. I seriously felt like fainting when I see another large group of people walking in. 

“Doyoung you’re here!” Doyoung stood up to greet his members while one of them went up to me. “We need you to prepare 12 meals, please.”

I’m really going to snap someone’s neck.

Chapter 4: Rest Of My Life

Mark Tuan X Reader

Part 4 of the “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” series

Genre: THE SAPPIEST AND CUTEST OF FLUFF (tiniest hints of angst) (horny ass Mark)

Word Count: 14K (Honestly it felt so much longer)

Summary: In every relationship, there are ups and downs. However, after every rainstorm, there is a rainbow. (I fucking hated how cheesy that was I just don’t want to give anything away LOL)

A/N: Finally I am done with this chapter UGH this one took longer to write but yet I feel like it’s the most rushed and repetitive one yet I’m actually not at all happy with how this turned out and there was a lot of fillers in some parts and literally nothing in other parts I just wanted to finish it I’m sorry if it didn’t turn out the way you all would have hoped. By the way, all of your comments on chapter three about who is behind the door made me laugh your minds are so creative I hope you all are happy with who is actually behind the door. I’m both happy and sad that this story is coming to an end (happy because there are so many other stories I can’t wait to write but sad af because I genuinely love this story it’s my first series and I just love how I wrote about Mark in here and the relationship between him and the reader is all I could ever dream about having in a relationship UGH) I don’t know when I’ll get around to writing the fifth chapter but I’m sure it’ll be within the next couple of weeks. With that being said, happy reading!

“Jackson? What are you doing here?” 

The last time you saw the older boy was the summer before both him and Mark went off to college. It felt like ages ago—but you were shocked after coming to the realization that it has only been a year. A lot has happened since their graduation; the last thing you heard from Mark was that Jackson was planning on studying abroad in China. 

Out of Mark’s entire group of friends, you found yourself gravitating towards him the most. Although, he gave you no choice to do otherwise. Jackson Wang was a golden retriever in human form. Anyone and everyone who entered his path, whether it was accidentally or on purpose would become extremely close with him—and it was usually because of his persistence to make and maintain as many friendships as possible. You were shocked to say the least as your eyes landed on his broadened figure. 

Puberty just so happened to favor Mark and his friends—they were all so good looking and very much in amazing shape. Jackson was currently shirtless and if it were anyone else in your shoes, their cheeks probably would’ve turned pink at the sight of his bare chest. You however, were pretty much used to being comfortable around him, Yugyeom, BamBam and Jinyoung. 

When it came to their group of friends, you were pretty much desensitized with any of their antics; not wearing clothing was one of them. It came to the point where Mark never allowed you around them if there was a chance they would remove any item of their clothing—but it was not as much because of jealousy; it was more so because the guys would purposely try to get on Mark’s nerves as much as possible. 

Most of your best times in high school were because of the wild and rowdy group of guys and you didn’t realize just how much you’ve missed all of them until they all went their separate ways. Honestly, it’s been a while since you’ve heard from any of the guys—but college took up more time than high school did and the four of them, along with your ex-boyfriend all decided to go to school out of state. 

They were all so excited when it was time to start filling out applications to all the different universities around the world; Yugyeom and BamBam shocked you the most when you found out that they actually got accepted to what you considered were elite colleges. If those two could get in to college, anybody could. As much as you wanted to laugh at the many memories of how both boys would never fail to get in trouble for either being late to class, or for getting caught with stealing a bunch of condoms from behind your teacher’s desk, it only occurred to you that you just referred to Mark as your ex-boyfriend. 

Not once was there ever a time in the duration of your relationship where you would have ever put Mark in the same sentence as the term “ex”. Even when the two of you had your disagreements or unnecessary arguments, there was nothing that would have caused you think like that. Was he really your ex-boyfriend? The two of you were on a break; or so you believed. You explained the difference between a break up and just taking a break. 

You didn’t want to break up with Mark; he was your person—your soulmate, your best friend. He was in your life for more than half of it, you weren’t going to give up on him that easily. Both you and your relationship needed time to heal in order for you to be able to continue loving Mark in the ways that you used to. There was not a doubt in your mind that you still loved Mark. 

No matter what were to happen down the road, your heart would always belong to him. He was still the only man you wanted to settle down, start a family and spend the rest of your life together with. But you couldn’t help to think negative thoughts like Mark finding solace in someone else. What if this break took a toll on his mental health and he felt the need to confide in another girl? What if he felt that the only way he could stop crying over you was for him to move on and start seeing someone else? 

Deep down, you knew Mark would never do anything that would purposely make you sad or go against you in any way. He was the type to talk things out before making any rash decisions. However, it was only human of you to feel as if he was so frustrated with you to the point where he wanted to do something to hurt you just as much as he claimed you were doing to him. Did he consider you his ex-girlfriend? 

Was there someone who caught his eye in the last month who made him realize there were many other girls out there? That, instead of moping around and waiting for you to be ready to come back to him, someone else could help fill the void? You didn’t know how to describe the pain you were now feeling at the thought of Mark no longer being in love with you; you’ve been worrying and overthinking about this weeks before initiating the break, and he was never around to make you feel or think otherwise. 

Why did your relationship have to become so complicated? Why couldn’t things just have stayed the way they were before Mark left? Why did his efforts lessen knowing that it was going to take twice the amount of time and patience from both of you to continue and maintain a healthy relationship? When did he come to the realization that you were no longer a priority he considered all that important?

“I should be asking you the same thing—although, it’s nice seeing you again. You look seemingly beautiful as always. Albeit a bit messy with more dark circles than the last time we saw each other. It’s a given, but trust me—he looks even more terrible.” 

You looked up at him in curiosity of his confession, but you were well aware that Mark probably told him everything. Mark and Jackson were practically brothers. The only person Mark would confide in and admit all his deepest, darkest secrets to other than you was the charming boy standing in front of you. He looked as though he wanted to pull you in for a hug, but he was also pretty hesitant not knowing what you were feeling or thinking. Jackson gave you a knowing look before letting a small smirk rise upon his face. 

“Your lover boy is the definition of a lightweight. Mark can’t drink for shit. It only took two beers for him to spill everything to me after he came back from his trip—don’t look at me like that. Yes, we drink. It’s all apart of the college experience y/n. Anyways, I know it’s not my place to meddle in your relationship, but I have never seen Mark so depressed in my many years of knowing him for. It’s obvious this “break” you asked him for is slowly killing him. The love he has for you is something people can only dream about ever experiencing in their lifetime. I caught him going through a photo album that he made of pictures and videos of you and he wouldn’t stop crying until I forcefully took away his phone. Look, I’m not trying to guilt trip you or anything and I’m not making up any excuses for him. I’m sure being away from each other is already hard as it is—even worse since you barely get to hear from him but he does have his reasons for being so absent these days. He said he told you he got a job in order to surprise you that week but you didn’t allow him to finish explaining himself.” 

Jackson allowed you inside of the dorm room and you were actually pretty surprised at how clean it was. Sure, Mark was always very tidy and liked to keep his space neat; but witnessing Jackson’s tendencies of picking food from up off the ground and eating it right after, you just assumed he wasn’t the type to care about cleanliness and hygiene. 

“Wow—nice place. Mark showed me a couple of times over Skype but it’s different actually being here.” He gave you his signature cheeky smile before motioning for you to sit down on the couch. 

“Thanks. It was actually his idea to be roommates. I guess he wasn’t all too fond of his previous one and when I decided to transfer over to New York, he offered to let me move in with him. Now, back to what I was saying. For months, Mark kept sulking over how much he missed you and how he was going to do whatever he could to see you again sooner rather than later; so he got a job at this coffee shop right across of campus. Everyone knows Mark hates coffee—but it was the only place that was 24 hours and would work alongside his schedule. Poor guy was barely getting any sleep for the few months leading up to his trip but it didn’t seem to bother him. He was just so stoked to reunite with his “favorite person in the entire world” that he didn’t care how exhausted he was from juggling school, work and his athletics. Our baseball coach even pulled him aside and told him that he needed to get better with managing his priorities or he would kick him off the team. I swear, the night he returned from California, my heart broke for him. He looked so wrecked y/n—but he didn’t say a word. We all know how much of a crybaby he can be, but it was a different kind of sadness. His eyes were so bloodshot and puffy yet they held no emotion in them. He also had no appetite at all and that’s obviously not like him. Boy can eat. I’m not saying you should completely forget how he’s been treating you, but please forgive him. I know he has your best interest at heart. He doesn’t need to say it out loud, anyone with eyes can see just how much you mean to him. Ah—I didn’t mean to make you cry; honestly you and Mark are perfect for each other. I’ll be right back.” 

You didn’t even feel tears fall down your cheeks, but it was inevitable. Every single thing that he said tugged on your heartstrings. 

Did you get lonely while I was away—working my fucking ass off at a job I hate in order to save enough money so I could come and see you? 

For the entire month, Mark’s anger-filled speech from that night replayed over and over in your mind and you felt like such a terrible person now that you understood why he’s been so distant. He tried to tell you, but you just wouldn’t listen. You were so frustrated—so heartbroken in that moment and you wanted him to know the damage that was done to your relationship because he wasn’t as involved in your life as he used to. 

Hearing that he was barely getting any sleep nor having any legitimate free time to himself just so that he could save up money to visit you made your stomach sink. You couldn’t even imagine how hard it must’ve been for him. He flew all the way to California to surprise you, only to be met with the idea of a break. It was probably very heartbreaking for him. He worked all those hours—probably put up with a lot of assholes and having to be on his feet for long periods of the day only to find out that his girlfriend needed time to heal from the pain he’s been causing her. 

You never felt so angry with yourself—but at the same time, you wouldn’t have known. He never said anything. If things were going to end the way you were hoping they would today, then you would make sure the two of you worked on your communication. Jackson returned back with a box of tissues and a bottle of water to which you thanked him politely and wiped away a few stray tears. As much as you were enjoying his presence, you were there for a reason and Jackson could tell with the way you were looking around the room as if you were expecting someone—Mark—to come out from one of the rooms. 

“He’s at work. Don’t worry, he cut back his hours so that he could put more effort in his studies, but he should be done here pretty soon. I better go—I’m going to need some time to find someone who will let me crash on their couch for tonight—or however long you plan on staying here.”

“Why would you need somewhere else to sleep—“ he gave you an incredulous look while playfully raising his brows. 

“Oh trust me, we all know what is going to happen between you and Mark once you both kiss and make up. The next thing I need is not being able to get any sleep because of how loud I know it’s going to be—ow! What? Naughty, kinky make up sex is the best! I mean, I’ll stay if I get to join in on the night’s festivities; but we all know how extremely territorial and overprotective Mark is when it comes to you so I’ll let you both have your fun. But don’t have too much fun—we already got noise complaints two months ago when Yugyeom and BamBam came down for spring break and we all got drunk while playing Mario kart. I’ll take my leave, I actually have some assignments I need to work on. Feel free to make yourself at home—oh, and please—no sex on the couch. This is where I take most of my naps, so keep all the raunchiness in the bedroom. I’ll see you later y/n. There’s some pizza in the oven, my room is down the hall on the left, Mark’s is on the right and we actually both have our own bathrooms in our rooms. You’re better off using his, I wasn’t expecting any guests so—yeah. Good luck!” 

He pulled you in to a quick hug before grabbing his keys and making his way out the door. Although you couldn’t wait to finally see Mark again, you would have rather Jackson had stayed with you until he did arrive home. You swore your heart was about ready to jump out of your chest while waiting for him. There were so many different scenarios—more negative ones than positive running through your mind about how things were going to play out. If what Jackson said about Mark was true, you were confident that he would take you back with open arms. 

However, you were afraid that he was no longer as adamant on fixing things. You were afraid that with your situation with Mark—no matter how many memories the two of you had together, no matter how many years you’ve spent together, no matter how much history the two of you shared—if his heart was no longer in it, there was nothing you could do. Instead of mending your relationship, what if this break only made Mark realize that he didn’t want to put up with your brash and cold exterior? 

People change; sometimes they grow apart—what if it was too late to come back together again? Although Jackson did tell you to relax and unwind, you didn’t feel like you had the right to. You’ve never been here before and you were never the type of person to just roam around someone else’s personal area, even if the person was someone you’ve spent over a decade of your life with. A part of you couldn’t help but grow curious as to what Mark’s bedroom looked like. 

Did he style it the way he did at his last dorm? Did it look like his room back in California that you’d spent many hours playing video games and doing your homework in? It felt extremely awkward just sitting there waiting for him to walk through the door. You should’ve asked Jackson exactly what time Mark planned on arriving home so you could have better prepared yourself for when he were to finally walk through the doors. Instead of waiting on the couch in agony and doing nothing, you got up and began the search for Mark’s room. You intended on going in to his bathroom and making sure it wasn’t obvious that you had previously cried. 

When you first walked in to his room, you immediately took in how clean it was. His walls were white, but you assumed they were already like that before he even moved in. His bed sheets were navy blue and so were his curtains. There was a tv hung up on the wall with a PlayStation and a couple of games set up right under. You decided to take a quick peek around before finally going in to his bathroom to freshen up. As you continued to browse throughout his room, you saw something in the corner of your eye.

Right above his bed frame was a picture board. You absentmindedly found yourself crawling on to his bed to get a better look at all the photos; there were a couple with his family, some with his teammates, a few with his friends back in high school—but most of the photos were with, or of you. There was even a photo of the two of you sitting on his nightstand. This photo however, had a note attached to it. It was always and will forever be you. This time, you allowed the tears to fall freely—you couldn’t give less of a shit about what you looked like anymore. 

Always. 

You were and would forever be his always. You didn’t care that you had to stay up late just to hear from him—you didn’t care that you only ever saw him physically during the summertime or during the holidays. You didn’t care that all the friends you had made in the last year would brag about the many dates their boyfriends have been taking them on. None of that mattered. Mark loved you—even after all the heartbreak he suffered in the last month because of you, it just proved that he was willing to do anything and everything for you. 

“Can I help you find something?” 

The sudden interruption caused you to let out a muffled scream. When you turned around to look at him, you had to force yourself not to practically jump at him now that you were fully aware of the many sacrifices he had made just to make you happy. However, you didn’t want to startle him if you were to throw your arms around him. For the first time—Jackson was right. Well, sort of. Mark looked devastatingly handsome; but it was something you were used to. God obviously had his favorites and Mark Tuan was one of them. He did however, look as though he’s been crying for days. He also looked tired beyond belief. You heart was begging for you to go up to him and pull him in to your embrace while leaving as many kisses all along his jaw and neck—but your affection and the need to touch him was just going to have to wait. 

“Hey. Sorry, I—I came in here to use the bathroom and I—I didn’t mean to intrude or anything—I can go back outside—“

“No, no. You’re totally fine. I um—I’m sorry if I scared you. How—how have you been? You look great by the way. You haven’t been waiting long have you?” 

The laugh of disbelief was at the back of your throat. Standing in front of you was the boy you’ve been in love with for more years than you could count on both of your hands yet—it felt as though you were talking to a stranger. You could tell by his body language and the way he was scratching the back of his neck that he was flustered. 

Whenever Mark would get shy around you, it was always a sight to behold. His cheeks would turn the brightest of pinks, he would gnaw on his bottom lip and rock himself back and forth on the heels of his feet. Normally, he would act this way after a passionate night of love making or simply when you would introduce him as the love of your life to one of your family members. In other situations, you would have found his timid exterior to have been extremely adorable, but as of right now, it was suffocating you. You knew you were the reason why he was acting so nervous; so cautious because you were sure he was afraid of saying the wrong thing and scaring you away. 

“Jackson let me in about half an hour ago, but it’s okay. He was quite the host until he left to go “study”. I’m surprised at how tidy you’ve been able to maintain this place; or should I say—I’m surprised Jackson has been doing his share and cleaning up. I really like it.” 

He thanked you softly before bringing his attention to the floor. Mark was always very confident whenever he spoke; so seeing him uncertain and unsure about how to approach you wasn’t a sight you were quite used to. Nor was it one you ever wanted to get used to. The atmosphere was filled with uncomfortable tension that you wanted so badly to disappear. Whether it was because you missed him more than you wanted to admit out loud, or because it was evident that he wanted to make his way toward you but didn’t know if he was allowed to; you found yourself taking the initiative in getting up from his bed and wasted no time cupping both of his cheeks with your hands and kissing him as if your life depended on it. 

You wanted him to know just how sorry you were for everything he had to go through in the last month because of how stubborn you’ve been. As soon as he felt your lips smash against his own, he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist and pulled you as close to his body that was physically possible. His kisses were rough as his hands roamed your body. God, how did you go so long without the beautiful boy in front of you? Everything in your life felt right again. Being in Mark’s arms while his tongue mapped his trace along your neck was an otherworldly sensation. You were thousands of miles away from California, but you’ve never felt more at home than you did right now. Mark was your home—your favorite place to escape; a breath of fresh air. You were right where you needed to be. 

“Mmm—Mark—I’m so sorry baby. Jackson told me everything. I should have listened to you—I should’ve allowed you to explain yourself. If I knew the actual reason why you weren’t communicating with me as often, I wouldn’t have been so hard on you. I would’ve been more understanding—“

“Nope—I won’t be having any of that. No apologies baby. Yes, I was exhausted beyond belief, but I should have tried harder for us—for you. I was working hard in order to finally be with you again, but I completely pushed back the purpose of why I was doing all of this; why I was practically going days with only five hours of sleep in total. Why I was typing out essays while on my breaks at work. Why I was taking down espresso shots like they were vodka shots—both of which are completely nasty by the way. You are my purpose baby. Everything I do is with your happiness in mind. I know how much my absence has been affecting you because waking up every morning without you next to me was like a fucking chore. It was just as bad for me as it was for you. God, if there’s anything I hate more than college-level calculus, it’s having to live without you—the reason for my existence. Give me your hand.” You did as you were told; placing your hand in his all the while blushing when he brought it up to his chest. 

“Feel that? It’s racing—I haven’t felt my heartbeat this fast since the night you told me you wanted to take a break. That had to be the worst night of my entire life baby. I couldn’t stop beating myself up about your disheartened facial expression when you told me I needed to get my act together. I just—I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I cried every single fucking day because I couldn’t stop thinking this was the end between us. I never ever want to go one day without you. I know—I’ve been a terrible boyfriend to you and I hope you know you didn’t deserve it at all y/n. There were days I wanted to quit my job because I hated it so much and because I’m so exhausted, but then I’d take a look at my phone screen with the picture I took of you that one morning when we had a food fight in the kitchen and you got peanut butter in your hair and all over your face and I just—it made me remember what I was doing it all for. It felt like forever that we got to do something fun like that—it’s been forever since I truly felt any ounce of happiness. I feel like I’m living, but not at all existing whenever I’m away from you. I know you told me not to regret my decision in choosing to go away for college, but I do. I regret choosing to ever be where you aren’t. Fuck, you don’t understand just how hard it was for me having to go back home that night thinking that you no longer wanted anything to do with me; and even if you said he was just a friend—that guy, whatever his stupid name is—“

“His name is Jaebeom—

“Yeah yeah—whatever. That obviously doesn’t matter. It’s my last name that you’re taking one day so I don’t care what his name or anybody else’s name is. I know you would never cheat on me or do anything to jeopardize our relationship, but seeing the two of you together really struck a nerve with me. I don’t know what he is to you, but I’m sure he must be someone meaningful to you for you to go to prom with him. I couldn’t stop thinking about how lucky he is to be around you all the time, how he gets to hear that vibrant and contagious laughter of yours, how he gets to see your radiant and breathtaking smile and how that should have been me being all cute and matching with you. How I should have been there, flaunting you off to everyone. God, you looked so beautiful that night y/n—but you looked so fucking sad when you looked at me. When I came back to New York, I didn’t want to do anything. At all. I called in sick from work, I took a break from baseball and I even missed a couple of classes but I couldn’t give less of a shit. I felt so empty—physically and mentally I felt numb. I wanted to call you; trust me when I say I found my fingers hovering over your contact many times. I continuously checked up on your social media to see how you were doing—if you were okay, if you were eating all your meals and getting some rest. If—if you were suffering without me the way I was with you. I’m nothing without you. Absolutely nothing.” 

He brought his thumb up to your cheek and gently brushed away a tear you didn’t even notice fall from your eyelids. You were well aware that Mark loved you more than you could even accept that you deserved. There were a couple of times you question his love for you; not hearing from him made you feel as though you weren’t as important to him and just that thought alone made you feel as if his love for you faltered. Hearing him confess to you what this past month has been like for him just confirmed that you meant a lot more to him than you felt you did. This break only made you realize that you could no longer be without him—you no longer wanted to put him through any more stress or sadness. 

“Damnit Mark—how do you—fuck—you have such a way with words. You’ve always have. I love you so, so much. More than I ever get around to telling you. I’m so sorry—don’t give me that look babe let me apologize. I should have tried harder to see how you were doing. I know being a student athlete is already so frustrating and I just felt like you didn’t need something else to worry about. I know you’re probably going to disagree and get mad at me for feeling this way, but I just felt like such a burden to you. You already have so many responsibilities, your relationship should be the least of your worries. As much as I love surprises, please Mark—I want you to be honest with me next time. We need to work on our communication. Don’t get me wrong, I am honestly so grateful that you got a job in order to make money to come and visit me and I apologize if you feel like it was a waste—if my reaction that night wasn’t the one you were expecting, but I just didn’t know how to react. I was genuinely happy to see you—or at least deep down I knew I was. My facial expression was the complete opposite—but it’s because I felt as though you were just so far away. You were right in front of me, yet I couldn’t recognize you. My mind couldn’t process that you were real—that you were actually there and not a figment of my silly imagination. Deciding to take a break took weeks to come to that decision. I couldn’t stop thinking that I was no longer a priority to you, so I just stopped trying entirely.” 

You found yourself wrapping your arms around his waist and released a soft sigh before smashing your cheek up against his chest. This was the first time in a long time that you actually felt genuinely content. Mark’s arms always made you feel so safe; so secure and so at ease. He didn’t hesitate to place his chin on the top of your head while tightening his already unyielding hold around your hips. 

“I missed you more than I can explain in words. I meant what I said Mark—I’ve loved you since I was eight years old. I’ve loved you before I even knew what love was and I’m going to love you, for as long as time permits me to. Forever, hopefully. You’re my best friend Mark. I don’t care what happens to me or where I end up in the future. As long as you’re right by my side, I’ll be living a life that I’ve always wanted—that people can only dream of experiencing. We’re going to be just fine my love.” He brought his hand down to your jaw and lifted up your chin so that you were making direct eye contact with him. “You got that right baby. How long do I have you for?”

“A little over a week.” He gave you a knowing look; his eyes were filled with mischief. You were well aware most of your time in New York was going to be spent showing him just how much you loved him and the idea sent warmth to both your chest and in between your thighs. 

“Stay right here, I’m going to have to text Jackson about finding a place to stay—“

“He’s already on it. He wants to give us our time to enjoy one another, just the two of us. In his words, he doesn’t want to miss out on his sleep because apparently you and I are going to be “too loud”. I have no idea what he’s talking about though. I have no intention on being noisy while I’m here—“ 

Mark was quick to lift you up and hoisted you on top of his left thigh; his movements were quick. Soon you were being thrown on top of his bed as he began leaving sloppy and all but gentle kisses all around your bare skin. He lowered himself on top of you, pressing his pelvis right on top of yours in attempts to let you know what he had planned for the both of you in just a few moments. 

“I went four months without making love to my beautiful baby. You know how many times I’ve found myself jacking off to photos of you? I miss when we used to have cyber sex—fuck why did we ever stop? I can still picturing you fingering yourself, pretending it was me. You looked so fucking sexy and although it wasn’t the same as when you suck me off or ride my cock like the professional cowgirl you are, I came in less than five minutes just hearing your breathless moans as you tried to get yourself off. Trust me when I say this, you won’t be getting any sightseeing completed at all while you’re here. I’m going to make sure your legs are practically jello once I show you just how much I’ve missed this perfect body of yours. I don’t know if Jackson told you, but we’re actually on probation for being loud because of BamBam and Yugyeom. I’m confident I’m going to get kicked out here with how loud I’m going to make you sing for me. I can’t wait to rail the shit out of you baby. This pussy is mine. You are mine. Now, sit back y/n and enjoy the ride.” 

Mark wasn’t lying when he said he had every intention on making sure you were immobile. The two of you relished in your love for hours; once you both came down from your highs after one round, the hunger and desire for one another was too strong to quit. You don’t think you’d be able to look in his fridge without remembering how he had you pressed right up against the cool metal, ramming himself inside of you from behind. Four hours later, you both decided to take a break. You had almost two weeks together; you didn’t want to practically be bedridden before you actually got the chance to really spend time exploring New York City together. 

“You never cease to amaze me you know that? Fuck, I could love on your body for the entire day if you’d let me. I guess not having me inside of you for so long made you even more tight. I think your boobies got bigger too—ow! Why do you always get so abusive every single time I appreciate these beautiful breasts of yours? If you’re going to be like this about your mounds, you should hear how obsessed I am with your vagina—“

“Say that word one more time and you won’t get anywhere near it for the rest of my stay.” 

He gave you the most adorable pout before pulling you on top of him. Even if the two of you had just finished having passionate and steamy sex, you could feel your cheeks warm up being pressed up against his bare and sweaty body. He left a wet kiss on the juncture of your neck and looked at you with so much love and adoration in his eyes. 

“I don’t know babe, i could’ve sworn you were begging me to bury my cock deeper inside of you and to eat you out like I mean it less than an hour ago. You’re just as much a nymphomaniac as I am. I honestly can just stay in bed with you for the rest of the evening and just do nothing if that’s alright with you. We could get cleaned up and order some take out. Or if you have even just a tiny bit of energy, we can go out for an hour or so and just enjoy each other’s company.” 

As much as you wanted to go exploring, it was just going to have to wait till tomorrow. You hid your face in the crook of his neck; trying to absorb as much of his warmth as possible before humming softly against his jaw. 

“Let’s stay in. I just want to enjoy this intimate moment with you as much as I can.” He smiled at you lovingly while he brought his fingers in to your hair. 

“I was hoping you’d say that. I want to take advantage of every moment you are naked—as much as I missed you, I don’t miss the hitting. Did you get stronger since the last time I saw you? You’re like bionic now.” 

You playfully rolled your eyes at his sarcasm and propped yourself on your elbows so that you could get a better look at him. Every time you would look at Mark, it amazed you just how much he changed physically since you first met him yet his childlike personality never faltered. If anything, he became more and more like a child as he got older.

“Mark.”

“Hm?”

“I’m going to marry you one day.” 

Knowing that he was the type to joke around a lot, you were expecting a “matter of a fact” kind of response. However, you weren’t expecting for him to pull you down and reconnect your lips together. Right as you could feel the fire building up in your bones with his feather like yet protective touch, he leaned away and looked up with you with a glint in his eye. 

“Hey—I’m the one supposed to be telling you that!” 

You yelped when he all but gently squeezed your butt. The thought of marrying the beautiful boy underneath you has been on your mind since the day he told you he had his mom take out the raisins from her oatmeal cookies because you weren’t a fan of them. Sometimes, your relationship felt too good to be true. Even if you hit a bump in the road, it only made you realize that no matter what were to happen between the two of you, your love for Mark and his love for you would never falter. He was everything in a significant other most girls could only dream about having in theirs. Mark Tuan was an ethereal being; his name was forever engraved on to your heart. 

“I don’t know when exactly—maybe when we’re just a little bit older, but I can’t wait to marry you y/n. You’ve had my heart for over a decade now—it’s yours for the next ten decades.”

“That’s a hundred years Mark. I don’t think either of us are going to live that long—“

“You always seem ruin such romantic moments. I’m telling you that I plan on loving you for the rest of my life. I said what I said my silly girl. You’re stuck with me forever.” 

You beamed up at his words and the two of you continued to lie there in silence; just basking in each other’s presence. To your dismay, Mark flipped your bodies so now he was on top of you but before you could say anything about this new position, you quickly picked up on his now furrowed brows and the way he looked as if he was deep in thought. 

“Hey, everything okay?” 

He gave you a sad smile and nodded hesitantly but you could tell something was obviously bothering him. Just a few moments ago, he was nipping at your jaw while grazing all too close to your core—and now he looked as if he was on the verge of breaking down. What exactly just so happened to pop in to his mind that was causing him so much distress. 

“Mark—we said we would work on our communication. I know something is bothering you. Talk to me baby.”

“It’s nothing really—well—God, I feel so stupid for having to ask you this. That Jaebeom kid, he uh—I wouldn’t be surprised if he did I mean look at you—but, he didn’t happen to have a crush on you did he?” 

Talking about Jaebeom was bound to happen sooner or later. Images of his angry expression when he saw the younger boy walk outside in attempts to look for you came rushing back like the night of prom was just yesterday. There was no doubt your boyfriend was a jealous person. You never understood where his jealousy came from; you never gave him a reason to be jealous nor did you think that you attracted anyone other than him until Jaebeom confessed his feelings for you. 

He would get extremely territorial whenever you would hang out with him and his friends. BamBam and Jackson were notorious for being a little too touchy for Mark’s liking when it came to you. Sometimes they would reach for your hand or interlock your arms together in order to get under his skin, but Mark never let them get away with it. You could still remember the way your heart soared when he told you that he was only jealous of other guys because he had a fear that one day, someone might walk in to your life and make you realize that there are more people in this world other than Mark that could get you feeling the way he thought only he was capable of. Your boyfriend was well aware that he was the one that you loved more than anyone else in your life—but it was only natural for his curiosity to get the best of him. 

“He did—he confessed to me right after he asked me to prom. I was quick to tell him I was in a relationship and he was very understanding about it.” 

Mark took in a deep breath and waited a couple of seconds before asking you the question that he’s been dying to know the answer to for the last month. 

“You uh—did you ever have feelings for him at one point? I won’t be mad; I mean, I’ve been absent. I’m sure spending time with someone and getting their attention could cause some feelings to develop. This question has been on my mind since that night. It’s not that I’m questioning your feelings for me—I know in my heart that you love me but I couldn’t find it in myself to stop thinking negatively.” 

A part of you wanted to lie in order to spare his feelings. He may have said he wouldn’t be mad if you were to tell him that yes—you had feelings for Jaebeom at one point or at least felt like you did; but this was Mark you were talking about. He would be devastated to hear that your heart wavered even just for a split second and you didn’t want to do that to him. The idea of hurting him sent a painful sensation to your chest. Mark was nothing less than perfect to you in all your years of knowing him for. 

These last few months might not have been ideal and honestly you could do without them, but at the same time—the turmoil was a blessing in disguise. Maybe the two of you needed this distance; this break in order to come to the acceptance that neither of you were going anywhere. However, the realist in you was well aware that there was no point in lying. 

For all you knew, Mark probably felt it in either his heart or his mind that you could have at least felt something towards Jaebeom. It wasn’t impossible; it was common for people in relationships to harbor feelings for someone else. Especially someone they’re close to and spend most of their time with. He hated the thought that you began liking Jaebeom more and more every day considering that your communication levels weren’t all that good. What person in their right mind would genuinely be okay with knowing that their significant other had someone else on their mind—someone that they saw almost every single day? Mark wasn’t too sure just how close the two of you were and he wasn’t too sure if he wanted to know. 

“At one point, yes. I did. But let me start off by saying this; just because I felt like I had some kind of feelings for him at one point doesn’t mean I loved you any less. Like you said, it could have been because he was giving me the attention I wasn’t receiving from you. He was taking care of me; he held me on the days that I cried because of school and our failing relationship. He’d buy me pastries if he saw that I wasn’t eating and he’d buy me coffee now and then—but I don’t have any romantic feelings for him. I guess I just really missed you; I missed you like fucking crazy Mark and for the time being, Jaebeom was helping me take my mind off of your absence. I will admit, I felt terrible when I told him I didn’t reciprocate his feelings only because he’s such an amazing friend, but no matter how kind he is, how much he cares for me or how attractive he is—“

“He wasn’t all that good looking honestly he was a solid three on a scale from one to ten you’re just saying that to make me jealous—“ You brought your hand up to his mouth in order to silence him but he licked a stripe along your skin. 

“Will you stop interrupting me? I’m trying to tell you that there’s nobody else for me but you asshole. I’m too blinded by the love I have for you to even look or think about anybody else. Jaebeom is an amazing friend, but that is all he’s ever going to be to me. You consumed every single part of me; like the ocean. I feel like I’m drowning in your love, but I never want to be saved. I just want to keep losing myself in you and the love you have for me. I’m honestly so glad Jackson is a very considerate friend—I got horny just thinking about how much I love you.” 

His laughter immediately filled up the room; a sound you were going to take advantage of for the next week and a half. It wasn’t the same hearing it through a screen—it was much more vibrant and full of excitement and it made your tummy swarm with butterflies. 

“You’re insatiable, what am I going to do with you?”

“Anything you want to.”

When the two of you were finally done making up for lost time up against almost every surface in his dorm, you finally gave in and tapped out. You could feel your eyes closing and sleep was right around the corner ready to take over you completely. 

“Should I start ordering us some food?” You slowly shook your head and made yourself comfortable pressed up against his chest. He began leaving soft kisses in your hair while dragging his fingers along the expanse of your back. 

“I’m so tired. I think the jet lag is catching up to me.”

“No, I think it’s the six hours of nonstop sex we just accomplished. But that’s fine—maybe I’ll wake up earlier and prepare you some breakfast in bed. Or, I can have you for breakfast in bed—almost ten years of this abuse you would think I would know when to prepare myself. Mmm—I love you y/n, I’m so fucking happy you’re here. Thank you for coming back to me.” 

In the two weeks that you were in New York for, Mark took you to almost every single place you’ve been wanting to go to. You didn’t think you were capable of walking so many miles; especially since you were sore practically every single day. Mark wasn’t lying when he said he planned on having you each day you were there for. On the days he had work or practice, you’d stay back at his apartment and just watch a couple of movies or play some video games on his Xbox. Sometimes you would go around with Jackson; sightseeing and shopping for some gifts to bring back home. 

When Mark finished his duties or on the days he was off, he would take you exploring throughout the city, showing you everything New York had to offer. He made sure to keep you energized by purchasing you coffee right before the two of you were to return back to his apartment. He didn’t know when the next time he was going to see you would be, so he wanted to make every moment with you count—even if that meant having to stay up till the wee hours of the morning to have him blow your back out. 

Unfortunately, just like the last time you were in New York, your visit was quick to end just as immediate as it was to arrive. 24 hours seemed to fly by in a matter of minutes any time it was spent with Mark yet they seemed to drag on whenever the two of you were apart. The tears wouldn’t stop falling from your face when he brought you to the airport. He held you close to his body and placed his head against yours as he tried his best to keep your cries soft—not wanting to bother the cab driver. 

He was also secretly tearing up himself; he had one of the best weeks of his life with you and now he had to let you go again. If he had the choice, he’d be heading back to California with you permanently. It was selfish of him, but he even contemplated on hiding your luggage or even stealing your plane ticket so that you’d have no choice but to stay with him. Once the driver pulled up to the airport, he helped you take your luggage from out of the trunk while you and Mark said your goodbyes to each other. 

“Hey—baby, we’re going to be just fine. I mean it this time. I’m gonna do better for you. I don’t care how tired I am—hell, you’re probably going to get tired of my constant phone calls and text messages but I promise you that I’m going to do my best to make sure to put in just as much effort in to this relationship as you do. I know how it feels to lose you and fuck, I never want to feel something so painful like that ever again. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to go without having you with me—so expect me to come make a trip to visit you here soon. I love you y/n—God, I can’t even describe to you just how much I love you. Love isn’t even a good enough word to describe what I feel for you—what you mean to me. Fuck, I’m going to miss you so much. Let me know as soon you land and when you get home please? Take good care of yourself and I expect at least three nudes a day—fine two—y/n I’m trying to lighten the mood you know I hate seeing you so sad—I also hate not getting to show my love and appreciation for your perfect body—just wait till I get my hands on you next time I won’t go easy on you. I’ll see you soon baby. I love you.” 

Leaving Mark was always the hardest thing you had to do other than getting used to looking through a computer and phone screen to see him when you just had him around physically to hold to and to kiss you. He kept his promise in working on and bettering his communication with you. Everything slowly started falling in place for you and you were more than happy with how your relationship was going. Mark made a few trips to California during his downtime. 

Although most of his time was spent going on cute little dates with you and just spending quality time together, he did meet up with some of his friends from high school to catch up and made sure to visit his parents a couple of times. He even asked to meet Jaebeom properly; he wanted to apologize for being such an ass towards him on the night of your junior prom and he wanted to thank him for taking care of you while he was away. Mark still was trying to accept the idea of your friendship with Jaebeom, but he trusted you with every fiber of his being. 

You were surprised that it didn’t take either of them too long to find some common ground; their main purpose both being your well-being and your happiness was something they had in common. Mark actually found it quite interesting that Jaebeom was a dancer and they went back and forth about their passion for crime investigation documentaries. It wasn’t something that happened overnight; Jaebeom was still upset with Mark for being the reason behind your tears, but he was well aware that it wasn’t his business to get involved in. 

At the end of the day, you were just grateful that Mark accepted your friendship with Jaebeom for what it was because you knew you would of fell apart in these last few months if it weren’t for him. Everyone in your life—your boyfriend, your parents, your teachers and some of your friends who have graduated never failed to remind you that senior year would practically flash before your eyes. It had to be the best year of your educational career so far; there were so many different activities for seniors to participate in which Jaebeom coerced you in to doing a lot of things you would have never saw yourself signing up for. Flag football, tug-of-war, paintball, spirit week, homecoming; you were never one to find yourself in a situation where you’d get involved in school activities, but it was your last year in high school and you wanted to make the most of it. 

At one point, you didn’t care about anything other than wanting to hurry up and graduate already. You didn’t want to be the kind of person to make a decision for your life based on your significant other, but you wanted to be with Mark. He was definitely speechless when you told him you applied to the university of New York—only because he didn’t want you to feel like you had to do that for him, even if deep down he was secretly hoping you would. The university was amazing nonetheless, but your boyfriend knew there were many other colleges that had better programs for the field you were interested in joining. However, he was extremely thrilled and very outspoken about how excited he was when you opened the letter of acceptance in to the university. 

Right after you received the letter, you and Mark began planning on how he would let Jackson down gently about having to move out. As much as you couldn’t wait to finally get to have him around, you didn’t want to kick Jackson out of their dorm. It was just as much his place as it was Mark’s. That’s when you came up with the idea to move in to an apartment together. It was still a few months away, but Mark couldn’t keep in his excitement at the thought of waking up to your beautiful face every morning and getting to go to bed every night with you wrapped in his embrace. 

He began the search of apartments in the area of the university so that it would be easier for the both of you to walk rather than to waste money on transportation. The months came and went; studying for tests on top of working almost every day in order to save up for after graduation took up most of your time. Mark was very good about calling you right before he’d head out for school or once he arrived back after work or practice. It was hard to believe that you ever questioned his love for you seeing as how he could not stop reminding you that he couldn’t wait to spend forever with you. 

The last month of your senior year arrived before you could even comprehend that you were only a month away from becoming a high school graduate—and so did your boyfriend. Although you told him time and time again that you would prefer he didn’t surprise you, your soul practically left your body when you returned home from work one day to find him sitting on your bed like it was the most normal thing in the world. 

“Mark, babe what the fuck are you doing here?” 

You wasted no time in throwing yourself at him and bringing your lips to his. Tonight in particular was one of the most stressful days at work you had so far and all you really wanted to do was change out of your clothes and go to sleep. Seeing Mark only broke you out of your exhaustion and the huge grin that rose on your face didn’t seem as if it was going to falter at all any time soon. 

“Did you really think I would let you go to prom with someone else other than me again? Did I not tell you how badly I wanted to rip that dress off of you and how extremely lethal you looked in it? I want to be the one to experience your magical night with you—and trust me, it’ll be even more magical once we head back to the hotel room right after—it’s like you live to torture me and not in the ways I’d prefer you would.” He began rubbing the side of his shoulder where you gently shoved him before playfully pinching your cheek. 

“Anyways, I already bought a tux, you just have to tell me what color tie to get. Oh—and I’m here till the end of summer baby, so I’ll be here to watch you graduate and I’ll be here to help you get all your things ready for New York. I still can’t completely process that I get to go back to school with you alongside of me. I’m so fucking happy, you don’t understand—and we get to live together. You know what that means.” He began to wiggle his brows and you couldn’t help but laugh at his nonchalant hint towards the activities he had in mind once you started living together. 

“Hey, I’m coming to New York for college, not to focus specifically on our sex life—“

“I know that babe, but making love to you is my favorite past time and now we’re going to have more chances in doing so—“

“You know Mark, I think there’s still some time left for me to accept UCLA—“

“You wouldn’t dare. You miss me just as much as I miss you—I meant it more than sexually. I just really can’t wait to have you around more often. There are days that are so shitty for me sometimes and all I want to do is have you hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay. We’re going to get a sneak peak at what the rest of our lives together is going to be like and I can’t wait to share that experience together with you. Now, if you’d be ever so kind, I travelled all the way here to be with you. The least you can do is show me some hospitality and maybe suck me dry? Don’t look at me like that babe IT’S BEEN THREE MONTHS.” 

You continued to keep the facade that you weren’t in the mood to do anything just to mess with him—although you were tired, Mark just had that effect on you. If you were ready for bed right as you were coming home, you were now ready to do whatever it was he asked of you. Since your parents were right downstairs, the both of you had to do your best to get reacquainted with one another as quietly as possible. For a little over two hours, you and your boyfriend experimented in different positions; his lips and tongue mapped its territory all along your breasts, neck, thighs, waist and right above your soaking entrance. It was honestly quite the task trying to keep your moans at bay; especially because your love making sessions only became more vocal the longer the two of you were away from each other. 

“I’ve missed you.” He pulled you on top of him once you both came down from your highs and left a wet kiss right below your ear. 

“I’ve missed you more. I still can’t believe you’re here and I get to have you for until I leave.” 

The rest of your evening was spent updating each other on what’s been going on in both of your lives until he fell asleep. For the rest of that week, he followed you around like a lost puppy on the days that you weren’t at work or school. You were sure most people would get tired of the clinginess and the fact that he always wanted to be with you, but it was something you genuinely enjoyed. Not once did you ever not want Mark around you—in fact you were just as tenacious when it came to him. 

Mark was more than happy to be home this time around; all his friends were also home for the summer and it felt like to good old times for him. Before you could even think about how many days you had left until graduation, senior prom came in the blink of an eye. Mark looked as handsome as ever; his hair was slicked back in a way you weren’t used to, but you knew you were going to nag him in to styling it like this all the time. He also looked very classy in his tux and you couldn’t help but laugh at the idea that his dad probably had to help him out with his tie. Your boyfriend was twenty-years-old yet he still had no clue how to fold a tie all that well. 

“Baby, I can’t get over how fucking beautiful you are. God, I can’t stop staring at you. You’re giving all of your classmates here a run for their money.” 

The night went by quicker than you would have liked; but that was because it was so much fun. Mark, like he always seemed to be was nothing short of a perfect gentleman. He made sure your night was going well by taking care of you like it was his life duty. Whenever you wanted to go talk with some of your friends at their tables, or if you had to use the bathroom, he held your things—when it got cold in the ballroom, he placed his suit jacket on your shoulders. He brought you out to the dance floor even against your many pleas because he wanted to make sure you had the time of your life. As he spun you around ever so lightly and placed his chin on your forehead, you knew that night was one of the best nights of your entire life. 

“You know the next time I’ll get to have you like this—looking effortlessly stunning and dancing with you like we’re the only two people here, you’ll be Mrs.Mark Tuan.” 

You couldn’t feel warmth fill up your entire body; his words sent fire to your bones and the thought of getting to marry him never failed to make you blush like a school girl who was approached by her crush. You looked up at him and stole a sweet kiss from the corner of his mouth before hiding your face in the crook of his neck. 

“I’ll be waiting patiently for that day, but just know—I can’t wait.” 

As soon as prom was finished, your boyfriend carried you bridal style up to the hotel room he rented for the both of you with the idea of showing you exactly what torture you caused him looking as “sexy” and “otherworldly” as you did that night. 

Graduation came less than two weeks later and as much as you couldn’t wait to finally move on to the next chapter of your life, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t going to miss being in high school. Just like most boyfriends would in order to embarrass their girlfriends; Mark had an entire banner made for you and assigned all of his friends to hold it up for you during the ceremony and afterwards while waiting for you to walk out on the field. 

You tried your best to stifle back a laugh at how crooked it was; Yugyeom practically towered over his older friends and it only made this event all the more memorable. Right as your principal called your name, gave you your honors chords and your certificate, you could hear your name being shouted from the back of the auditorium and you were sure you would melt on the spot seeing your boyfriend look at you as if you were the most ethereal goddess to exist. Unlike all of your other classmates who stayed a little while to talk to each other about their plans after high school, you made a beeline to where you knew your boyfriend, family and friends were waiting to congratulate you. 

“There’s my beautiful college graduate. You’re glowing baby. I’m so happy for you.” He pulled you in to a tight hug but before he could even kiss you, you were being yanked in every other direction by your family. 

“My youngest baby is a high school graduate and now she’s going off to college. You know y/n, there are many amazing colleges here in California. You can save your money and continue living with your father and I—“ You felt Mark wrap his hand around your waist as he took his place right next to you. He got along really well with your parents. Sometimes you felt as if they preferred him over you only because he knew the exact words to say to flatter your mom and to impress your dad. They were very good in treating him like family. However, you could tell by the tight grip that he wasn’t too fond of what your mom was trying to talk you in to doing. 

“Don’t worry Mrs.y/l/n, your daughter is in good hands. She always has been and always will be. I’ll take good care of her, I promise.” 

After saying your goodbyes to all of your relatives who flew down just to be there for your graduation, you made your way back towards Mark and his friends. BamBam and Yugyeom picked you up and spun you around while Jackson and Jinyoung pulled you against their chests and ruffled with your hair. 

“Finally! You get to come up and experience what college is actually like—that’s if lover boy here ever let’s you come out with us.”

“In your dreams losers. You got me in trouble twice for shit I didn’t even do. I’m not letting you corrupt my sweet, innocent girlfriend—“

“Y/n? Innocent? Hahaha! Don’t make us laugh. Y/n is the furthest thing from innocent. My ears are still so sore from all her screams and moans that one night I came back to our dorm to pick up some clothes while she was there. By the way, as much as I like you y/n, I’m not all that happy you’re stealing my roommate. I hope Mark knows that I should get ultimate dibs on being his best man because of it. Speaking of which, did you finally get around to asking her—ah, asking her about the color to paint your room. I think we should get going now guys, let’s allow these two lovebirds to celebrate on their own. Congratulations again y/n!” 

You’ve known Mark’s friends for quite some time now; Jackson knew something that he wasn’t supposed to tell you. The five of them were never good with keeping secrets nor were they ever good at telling lies. You didn’t have to look at Mark to know he wasn’t all too happy with Jackson; nor did you want to aggravate him even more by asking him the many questions that were on your mind. The main question being what exactly did he have yet to get around asking you? 

You knew it wasn’t just a question about your soon to be apartment together and you now you were dying to know exactly what Jackson was referring to. Oh well, it was just going to have to wait till you could find a time that Mark wasn’t around for you to ask. Summer was always your favorite season; there was so much for you to do. You decided to take a break from work in order to spend as much time with your family before having to move to New York. 

Most days, you and Mark would go around California; heading to all your favorite places together and even finding new places to make memories at. You also made sure to save some time to spend with Jaebeom seeing as how you were both going your separate ways. As much as he loved America, he missed his friends and family back in Korea. These last two years were meant specifically for him to learn English and to pick up on American culture. You knew you were going to do your best with keeping in touch with him. 

Out of all your friends, Jaebeom was one you saw being in your life for a very long time. Your relationship with your parents also grew stronger; mainly because it was just the three of you now and soon it was just going to be the two of them. To your dismay, when you got to hang out with Mark’s friends again and even when you got Jackson alone, he pretended as if he had no clue what you were talking about when you asked him what he meant back at your graduation. 

The truth was going to come out sooner or later, so you were just going to have to wait—no matter how much the curiosity was eating away at you. May, June and July never seemed to fly as quickly as they did but before you knew it, you were packing away everything you needed for college. Deep down, you were sad knowing that you were moving out of the house. You’ve been around your parents for your entire life, you weren’t sure if you were ready to live without them. Hell, your mom still made your appointments for you and even when you were to move thousands of miles away, you were sure she’d still be taking care of your responsibilities for you. 

“Make sure to call me as soon as you land. And please, call me at least five times a day. Remember, you can can always come back home—“

“Mom—“

“If you ever need me I can fly up there and—“

“Mom—“

“Even if you need to take a break, I am totally fine with you taking a year off—“

“Mom, I’ll be fine. I’m in good hands, remember?” 

You turned to look at your boyfriend putting your luggage in the back of his truck and returned his smile when he caught you looking at him. Tears started to build up at your eyelids as you looked at your mom trying her best to fight back her tears. 

“I’ll always be your little girl, don’t ever forget that. College will go by faster than we think and Mark and I plan on returning back to California once I graduate. It’s not goodbye mom, it’s just a see you later. Please take care of yourself. I love you so much.” 

Saying goodbye to your parents was harder than you thought it would be. In fact, your boyfriend had to pull to the side in order to console you and comfort you as you cried. He left gentle kisses on your forehead while he ran his hands through your hair. It didn’t take long for you to calm down, especially because Mark was really good in giving you time to let it all out before reminding you that everything was going to be okay. You were reminded of how hard it must have been for him having to leave two years ago, but now you were finally going to be together permanently. 

Mark’s touch was so comforting; you could tell he wanted to be there for you yet he also wanted to give you some space. He did everything for the both of you; brought both his and your luggage’s to security and got them checked in, found your gate and had you sit down so he could go purchase some snacks for the ride. You didn’t realize just how tired you were until you knocked out only minutes after getting settled on the plane. This meant that you weren’t able to see the way Mark was looking at you so adoringly; but it’s not something you weren’t used to. He looked at you that way all the time. You felt a gentle push on your shoulder and a few wet kisses scatter along your face and you had a feeling Mark was trying to wake you up. 

“Baby, time to get up. We’re here.” 

A huge part of you was still pretty sad that you were no longer in California, but the hand that was tightly holding yours as you were being guided through the airport reminded you as to why you were doing this. Looking at Mark right now; you never felt more at home than you did at this moment. It didn’t matter where you were, your heart was always so full having him with you. The first couple of weeks were the hardest. Getting settled in to your new apartment was a foreign feeling. Mark actually had everything set up for the both of you before he even left for California. 

You were very grateful that he was so patient and understanding with you; but it didn’t take long for you to get used to New York City and living with your boyfriend. It was actually everything you could ever hope it would be. He allowed you to make the decisions on how you wanted the place to look like. 

The apartment was shockingly very spacious; and he actually had purchased quite a lot of furniture. You were shocked to see just how nice the place actually was—you didn’t think Mark was capable of being an interior designer, but you decided to keep the place looking the way it did. Your bedroom had to be your favorite place in the unit, he had a couple of photos of the two of you scattered throughout the room and separated both your sides of the closet and on the bathroom sink. 

He put so much effort in to making sure you were content and it only made your feelings for the older boy grow stronger if it was even possible. College wasn’t at all what you were expecting it to be and you were silently cursing all of Mark’s friends for telling you that it was such a fun experience. Mark introduced you to a couple of his teammates and a few friends he’s made in the last two years while giving you a tour of the campus and showing you where your classes were. You ended up getting a job at your school’s library in order to help Mark pay for the rent and other necessities. 

Even if it was just your first year in college, there were days you would find yourself crying because of how strenuous the work load was on top of having to work. There were also days where Mark was constantly at work, practice or school and you didn’t want to put even more stress on him knowing how exhausted he would be whenever he’d come home. 

One night, he texted you saying he would be coming home late in order to pick up this week’a groceries. You didn’t think much of it; although, normally the two of you would go together so that you both could get the things you either needed or simply just wanted. Your boyfriend also had a bad habit of buying a bunch of unnecessary items he never needed, so you tried your best to make sure you’d be there with him. But this week, you’ve been picking up a lot of late night shifts and Mark could tell the last thing you wanted to do was go grocery shopping, no matter how much you enjoyed doing something so domestic with him. 

When you reached your apartment, you saw his shoes in the cubby hole and his backpack by the counter—so you knew he was home. Everything seemed put away; you checked the fridge and all the shelves were filled with different kinds of food and drinks. He also got the essentials; dishwashing liquid, laundry soap, dryer sheets, shampoo and conditioner. Something didn’t feel right though; normally, he would be out in the living room playing video games or doing his work at the dining table. 

Maybe he was tired; you still couldn’t understand how he could manage five classes a week, playing sports for hours on end and going straight to work right after only to come home like he had all the energy in the world. Right as you were about to look around for him, you saw a crumpled paper in the corner of your eye which you assumed to be the receipt. 

Curiosity got the best of you—he always paid for the groceries no matter how many times you’d tell him to split the bill. In fact, he would pay for pretty much anything and told you to save your money to buy things you wanted to. It was hard accepting the fact that he did all of this for you—sacrificed so much for you because he loved you with his entire being only because you didn’t feel like you deserved any of it. If anything, he was the one who deserved so much more than what you could give him. When you scanned the receipt, everything seemed perfectly normal—he purchased every item the two of you would normally buy. 

However, towards the bottom of the list you saw something that made you confused, yet you let out a little giggle. 

“Mark!” You began walking towards your bedroom in the hopes of getting an explanation as to why he felt the need to buy his favorite cookies in bulk. 

“Babe, I know you love nutter butter, but eight packages? Are you preparing for an apocalypse or something—oh my God.” 

Your question was answered as soon as you opened the door. There, in all of his devastatingly handsome glory, your boyfriend of ten years, down on one knee with a red box in his hand and a tray of nutter butter on the bed spelling out the words “will you marry me?” There were roses scattered all over the ground and candles spread throughout the room. Your heart was racing faster that it ever has in your entire life. 

“Mark—“

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

The smile on his face was barely reaching his eyes and you could tell it was because he was nervous. He was shaking and he looked like he was on the verge of throwing up; you couldn’t understand why though. Sure, marriage proposals were always so nerve wrecking, but he should already know the answer. You slowly walked toward him and gently kneeled to his level while cupping his cheeks in your hands. 

“I know this isn’t as romantic as you probably would have wanted it to be. Trust me, I planned out many different scenarios about how this was going to pan out. The guys told me to take you to a beach, or a fancy restaurant but I thought this would be more meaningful. I mean, I realized you were someone special to me when I shared my nutter butter with you over thirteen years ago. You know you are the only person I would do such a thing for—you’re the only person I’d do anything for. I’d give you my kidney if you needed it. I know—we’re still so young to be getting married, but I just couldn’t wait anymore. I’ve been in love with you before I even knew what the word love meant. I’d tell my parents I loved them; I told each and every one of my siblings that I loved them—but with you, it was a different kind of love. It was the kind of love that—I don’t know, my heart always felt so happy and so full every minute I spent with you. You showed me what love is—you made me feel loved and cared for in ways that I don’t think I could ever be able to thank you for doing. You are the most beautiful, funny, charismatic, intelligent, wonderful and honestly perfect human being to walk this earth. God—I can’t even—I’m so fucking in love with you. We’ve had a few ups and downs, but it only made me realize that you are the only person I want to go through hell and back with. You and I are soulmates baby, there’s no doubt about it. I’ve been blessed to have you in my life for almost fifteen years now and I can’t wait to spend an eternity with you. Y/n, will you do the amazing honor and continue to make me the happiest man on earth by marrying me?”

Perfect-J.M

Pairing: James Marriott x Reader

Word Count: 1.5k+

Pronouns: They/Them

Closing the front door, James let out a sigh. He had just gotten back to his flat after spending some time out at a coffee shop. Today he had a date, and it went amazing. In the afternoon, James had gone out to a small coffee shop downtown to meet with someone he had been talking to for a while, it was their fourth date. James was the first one to get to the cafe, which made him a bit nervous. Did he show up too early? Or what if he came too late because he messed up the time of the date? The brunette took a seat at a small booth in the corner of the coffee shop by the window, stealing glances at the front door every now and then as he waited. Sunlight would fill into the shop through the windows, lighting the place in a strange illuminating way. Eventually, the front door had opened again, revealing James's date. They looked around for a moment before their eyes finally landed on their date in the corner of the cafe. James gave a wave with a stupid grin on his face, he loved talking to Y/n, they were so intelligent and fun (not to mention how attractive they were). The pair had ended up spending a couple of hours sitting in that booth, just talking and laughing. They worked so well together, they had similar interests and just enjoyed being around one another in general. Eventually, Y/n had noticed the sun had begun to set, meaning they needed to head back to their flat, Y/n was planning on finishing some of their homework for Uni tonight. When they went their separate ways, James couldn't help but feel excited. He had just spent time with this amazing person that just made him feel so happy, Just being around Y/n just made him feel great. As James made his way into his bedroom, his phone had gotten a buzz, meaning someone had messaged him. He quickly pulled the device out of his pocket, his eyes scanning over the screen. One text message from a group chat he was a part of with George, Will, and Alex. Alex had sent the text message. 'Hey, are we still going to film tomorrow?' James hopes had shot up from his phone going off, he thought he could have possibly received a new text from Y/n. At this point they had already given their phone numbers to one another so they could get off of Tinder. There was no point in trying to go to bed, he had a coffee at 5:30, it had only been two hours since then. That's when an idea had popped into his head, why not film for a bit? So James found himself sitting at his desk, beginning to set up his camera as he tried to think of something good to talk about. When it finally hit 11:30 AM, James had finished up his video. He'd just end up sending it off to his editor later tomorrow, right now he was beginning to feel a bit drowsy. Making his way to his bedroom, James sent one final text to Y/n. 'I have no clue if you're still up but I just wanted to say goodnight.' After a few minutes of preparing for bed, James's phone had buzzed once again. Y/n's name popped up on his screen. 'I just finished my homework, I plan on going to bed soon. Good night, J.' J... he liked that nickname, it was cute. James found it incredibly sweet that Y/n had come up with a simple nickname to call him. He would have to figure out some type of nickname to give Y/n. As James laid down to try and fall asleep, he couldn't help but think of the way Y/n smiled before laughing. Their nose would scrunch up a small bit as they let out a giggle first. It was something James couldn't help but adore.

"Alright, next topic," Alex sat in front of his camera as he looked at his monitor. The boys were filming another episode for their podcast channel, as the next topic was brought up, James heard his phone buzz. Another text from Y/n. 'Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to come over and watch some Disney movies with me? I just got Disney plus.' Another stupid grin had appeared on his face as he quickly began to type back. Of course, one of the boys had noticed on their Discord call. "Jimbo, why are you smiling like that? Find out someone poor died?" Will leaned back in his seat as he spoke. "Dead meme, Will!" Their masked friend snapped, "James Marriott hates the poor, haha funny. I've been trying to kill this meme for the past month!" Alex let out a small laugh at his friends as James looked back up at his friends on his monitor, "No, actually... I've been talking to someone and we just planned to hang out tonight." "Oh, how long have you guys been talking?" Will asked as he began to fiddle with the wire connecting his headphones to his PC. "Two months," James had answered as he placed his phone back down. "They're perfect, literally everything I've ever wanted, they have it. They're intelligent, kind, They're working on getting their degree, and they know how to keep a conversation going. I really hope they'll want to start a relationship with me, right now we're just talking." "If I was you, I'd just go for it. Ask them out, if you know you want to start a relationship with this person and be with them, you shouldn't waste any time about it. You're certain you want to be with this person?" "Yes." "Then call them right now, and ask them to start a relationship with you. If you're completely positive that they want to be with you just as much as you want to be with them, call them and tell them how you feel. Don't pussy out, be a man!" a grin appeared on Will's face as he gave his motivational speech. "Be a man, Jimbo!" James's other two friends had joined in with the cheering. "Yeah, be a man!" "God, the pure pressure is getting to me," James spoke as a grin appeared on his face. He picked up his phone once again, beginning to pull up Y/n's contact. "Wait, he is actually gonna do it?" Will asked, sitting up as he leaned forward to try and figure out if James had actually taken his advice. James nodded as his grin grew wider, leaving the boys to burst out in excitement. 'Hey, can I call you? It'll take just a minute.' Y/n was quick to reply to James's text. 'Of course. :)' James excused himself from his computer, leaving the boys to continue cheering in excitement. Taking a step out of the room he usually filmed in, he hit the 'call' button on Y/n's contact. "Hey, J. What's up?" "Hey, N/n," James smiled from the sound of their voice. "I was wondering if I could ask you a question?" "n/n, that's cute," Y/n let out a small giggle. James could only imagine how they scrunched up their nose as they smiled from hearing that. "Yeah, go ahead." "Do you want to start an actual relationship with me?" A grin appeared on Y/n's face as they stopped what they were working on. "I'd love to, James." James could feel happiness entering his body as Y/n spoke. Yes, it was going to happen, he was now going to be in a relationship with them. "God, I'm so happy you said yes. I was so scared you'd think I'm trying to rush everything," he let out a sigh of relief as he brushed a hand through his messy hair. "God no, how could I say no? You're literally my dream guy." If James wasn't already happy, just hearing that from Y/n made him feel amazing. Being Y/n's dream guy? A dream come true. "Are we still on for movie night later?" "you know it." "Alright, I need to get back to filming a video for YouTube. I'll call you afterward?" "Sounds great to me," Y/n hummed. "I'll talk to you soon." With that, James made his way back to his computer. Placing his headphones on, he had flinched from hearing his trio of friends yelling 'woo woo' "Oh wait, Jimbo is back," Will had stopped repeating himself. "how'd it go?" "They said yes." Everyone had started to cheer as soon as the sentence left James's lips. He was happy, he was able to say he was in a relationship with Y/n. just the feeling of being able to say that felt amazing. Eventually, after a few congratulations, the boys continued on with their podcast. Meanwhile, James kept getting lost in his thoughts, he couldn't help but think of Y/n and how much he cared for them. Y/n was just so perfect.

Taglist: @anyasthoughts​ @multifandom-but​ @springholland​ @caswinchester2000​ @blondiee-seaveyy​

Excuse me if some have been asked before and/or are repetitive and feel free to not answer some but anyhow..

What's your favorite kin memory with your loftwing?

Do you selfship with your kintype, an oc/si or with simply your irl self (like kin separated in that regard)?

In regards to the previous one kinda how do view some relationships with your kintypes like if you feel uncomfortable with one character do you avoid the ship with those and vice-versa?

Do you have memories with delia?

What are some of the memories of your kintypes that are the /most/ different from the show/game?

What are some of the posts/vines/etc that you like to quote the most? Or are the most burned in your mind?

How was the whole wing ceremony? And also how were the classes? How were the other students? What things did you do the most with zelda and/or groose?

How is cheeseburger? He radiates happiness and comfort please give him a head kiss from me if he likes those

thank you!!!

What's your favorite kin memory with your loftwing?

haha i never know how to answer “favourite memory” questions cause i don’t think i can ever pick favourites when it comes to anything i’ve experienced.

mmm... meeting him was definitely up there, but i feel like my fave memories with him are just finding some nowhere island and taking a nap in the sun.

Do you selfship with your kintype, an oc/si or with simply your irl self (like kin separated in that regard)?

i can’t really get into self-shipping longterm or in depth because the kin aspect really does just overtake it for me fghdghf. if i try to picture myself, i always just picture my kintype, usually because my kintype/my f/o is usually my OTP in any given series. i only fall for people i already loved ^^; 

In regards to the previous one kinda how do view some relationships with your kintypes like if you feel uncomfortable with one character do you avoid the ship with those and vice-versa?

not really, unless they’re skeevy ships to begin with. part of being kin for me is believing in the multiverse so i’m just like yeah, a universe exists for me to date everyone xD

Do you have memories with delia?

tons :’3 i lived in her restaurant! she was my super cool boss who i absolutely did not have a crush on. 

i was very much married to james, but there was an understanding that i would be a little in love with delia for the rest of my life. she was one of my best friends.

What are some of the memories of your kintypes that are the /most/ different from the show/game?

i’m always pretty canon compliant ngl fdgfdghfd

What are some of the posts/vines/etc that you like to quote the most? Or are the most burned in your mind?

it changes on any given week but i do have an all time fav tag for shit i cant stop saying dghgdj

How was the whole wing ceremony? And also how were the classes? How were the other students? What things did you do the most with zelda and/or groose?

oh this might be long i love talking about skyloft rip. am saving your first question for last.

how were the classes. well. i was asleep. i don’t remember a lot. they were basic stuff you’d expect, language and math and sciences and all the Typical Shit. but then also flying and swordsmanship, which i was Good At. i took an archery class one year but zelda was always better than me lol. skyloftian sign language was required because it was the best way to communicate on birdback but i was mostly mute so my mom taught me it when i was like, 7 and i showed up there and owlan was like “Link what are you doing here” and i just shrugged and signed “easy a” and fell asleep. i am... a good student. 

my relationship with my classmates was that i was just... kind of there? i was well-liked because i have always had this weird charisma, but it was like this. quiet charisma. i didn’t have a lot of close friends, but everyone definitely would respond to my name with some variation of ‘ohhh, LINK! that guy’s cool haha’ my reputation was mostly being zelda’s arm decoration but not her actual boyfriend. i don’t think anyone could actually tell you anything about me besides that i was link with the red bird, and i was quiet and tired and zelda liked me way too much. 

my junior year is when i really became close with all of them, when zelda and i started doing that thing where we tried dating a bunch of people just to date but it didn’t work out because we were in love with each other lol. her mingling with the others meant i mingled too because i couldn’t spend 5 mins away from her. fledge and pipit and i got pretty close, zelda and karane were basically sisters. the thing i always joke abt is the fact that i dated kina, which is hysterical to me to this day. peatrice was always There but acting like she didn’t want to be there. i need you to picture peatrice while we’re all swimming but she’s just, like, on the shore tanning while the remlits bother her. 

that was this summer of just, like, doing idiot teenage boy stuff. getting way too drunk in our rooms at night over break. sneaking onto the roof of the academy to stargaze. getting caught cause cawlin drunkenly tried to fight a chuchu w his fists. you know. normal kid stuff. i also think the others were maybe trying to include me more cause it was the year i lost my parents but i mean it worked, i was a lot happier with people around even if i didnt mind all those years it was just me and zelda.

most of mine and zelda’s friendship was just doing what we’d do alone but together. when we were younger we would explore the more adventurous areas of skyloft and play pretend, a lot of days we’d stay in and read shoulder-to-shoulder. i didn’t like talking but i loved reading, if that makes any sense. we’d take turns reading to each other. as the years progressed we’d go flying together, we’d study together, we’d fall asleep in each other’s rooms and sneak into them when we were frustrated or lonely or just needed to not be alone. i don’t really know, what DIDN’T we do together?? we shared everything ;_; <3

my earliest memories of groose where i wasn’t like “what is this guys deal. why is he so mad.” were. ok so. groose and i should have been friends sooner because he’s super into woodworking and i whittle stupid little sculptures right. ok. except, we live in the sky, and i don’t know if you noticed this, but trees....... well. there are not a lot in the sky. wood is a very scarce resource, and we need it, for like. houses and things. so jakamar gets all of the wood in skyloft because it’s his birthright or whatever, except groose and i find out about this, and we show up at his house twice a week begging for woodscraps, and he slips us some Illegal Fir(tm) beneath the table and as soon as we leave the premises groose tries to kick my ass and take my share. and this happens forever.

i think groose saw me as like, this sworn enemy of his but i was mostly very confused just kind of sitting there like huh. where am i. wait whats he talking about? and then i’d walk away. when i was a kid he was scarier but once we got older he kinda stopped throwing punches, all bark no bite. 

and then we went to the surface and he moved into my house. not even in a polyam way and like at one point he had a wife and was still living with us. i forgot to mention he built the house also. he built our house and would just like, wake us up every morning with the best fucking eggs i’ve ever eaten in my life. groose was just in mine and zelda’s marriage. everyone was fine with this. 

i dont actually remember a lot of what we did after getting to the surface. just that his cooking was amazing and he gave the best hugs and he could pick zelda and i both up and ferry us around on his arms like we were little songbirds. oh and he was always the one who picked me up and carried me to bed when i’d fall asleep at fi’s dais talking to her. i fell asleep there a lot. 

ok. breathes in. 

my wing ceremony is probably my fondest memory ever? probably. the race itself felt like aepon was literally just DRAGGING me thru the clouds its such a blur. groose kept trying to body me but he’s lowkey scared shitless of my bird it did not work. i just remember being like. no time to think time to go time to go time to go OH i won

the ceremony itself felt... like... dreamy? like something from a fairytale, i don’t know. i don’t know how much of it is coloured by the retrospective of what it called to action and foreshadowed. zelda and i had been growing so much closer in the weeks leading up to it, and i don’t know, like, when i fell for her if it was sometime then or the day i met her when i was 6. but at some point everything just kinda got tilted on its side around her and every second i spent with her made me feel like my head was stuffed full of cotton candy. in a fun way.

on skyloft, wing ceremonies have a pretty romantic connotation. not always, but a lot of the girls dream about performing it with the “strongest” knight in their class, and a lot of the knights feel the same. there’s a lot in the history books about hylia’s feelings for her chosen, a lot of speculation about how she stayed close to humanity because she learned to love from him. so to stand in place of the two of them, to a lot of people, carries the same note as standing in the place of two starcrossed lovers, breaching the gap.

zelda was a hopeless romantic, and she told me later she had this whole plan--to wake me up early, to run drills with me until i was a puddle, to perform the ceremony with me, and to use her 5 minutes alone with me to solidify us as something more than best friends. she had this whole fucking move planned where she was going to drape the sailcloth around my shoulders and pull me in for a kiss, and instead she got wicked nervous and screamed half her sentences and pushed me off the statue. this, predictably, only made me more in love with her. i had exactly 0 plans to ever tell her how i felt, because something something childhood friends to lovers, something something mutual pining, something something what if it ruins a good thing something something, valiant hero of courage who.

when we were flying after it, she said she’d remember that day for the rest of her life, and i remember thinking, yeah, that’s what i’m feeling. i’m living, right now, through a precious memory, something i’ll never forget. and everything that happened after that was, uh, the worst time of my life, but somehow it doesn’t. colour the memory a different shade. i still just think, like, this is this last beautiful moment i am having with this girl i love more than anything in the world before we stop just being kids living our normal lives. she is the goddess reborn and i am her chosen hero who’s heart has defied death itself, but right now we are teenagers who don’t know that and are playing pretend as them, as we always have. the joy of that--of pretending to be who we are, the bliss in that ignorance, our beautiful last hurrah. something about it sticks with me. 

How is cheeseburger? He radiates happiness and comfort please give him a head kiss from me if he likes those

DOESN’T HE??? i will. i came home and he was loafing and i started crying because he looked so sleepy.

Into The Casino Ch10

Warning: Mentioning of past abuse -This takes place about 3 weeks from last chapter- Could you call someone having an interest in you weird if they were also your boss? Yes. Yes you could. And that's what exactly she felt when it all began. Slowly but surely. Cyber introducing her to a few new strange foods. She quite liked the soft foods called iced-creams, she never knew one food could come in so many flavors. The wide eyed look she gave to everything made Cyber chuckle and Lou smirk more in triumph whenever she reported back to him. Oh who said flattery couldn't get you anywhere? Right now it was one of his biggest tactics to help him win this little game of his. And he was surely making a very good win streak thus far-...But maybe with a few minor set backs.

Perhaps he was a bit too eager in the beginning of this just a tiny amount, she still flinched away whenever she attempted to kiss her hand. Or ducked whenever he made any sudden movement near her. That wide eyed startled look was now fairly common. And she still wouldn't accept his advances too easily. It was starting to become tiresome these days, but he could wait. He had all eternity and beyond to wait of course, but wanting and waiting were too separate things and if he saw an opportunity to speed things up you sure as hell he wasn't about to back down from a challenge. Especially since so much was at stake now. Luckily he had the perfect person to sneak info to him now. "So? What's wrong with you? You look more tired than Disease with a hang over." Cyber smiled as the pony groaned and landed her head onto the desk. Ears flopping to the sides of her head. Making Cyber raise a brow. "So Im guessing things aren't so hot?" "I-It's so....uncomfortable for me!!" Her voice replied muffled by the desk her head laid upon. "He's been having me clean everything of his and running back and forth doing all these chores!" He face looked up from the desk but still laid on it. "And I-I-it's not helping when he's constantly flirting with me!" "Is that so bad?" She leaned onto the table and smiled. "Lou's a pretty smart guy for someone resembling a walking leaf." She chuckled at her own joke, but shrugged. "But what's so wrong about him likin' you? I mean, I would think having a rich guy like you and getting a bunch of free stuff was every girl's dream?'' "THAT'S THE PROBLEM!!" The desk chair was pushed back with a noise and she stood up to give Cyber an...almost scared look. "I-I don't WANT any d-dresses, o-or fancy jewelry, o-or....Or ANYTHING flashy. Just some food and a room is q-quite enough!!" Cyber paused, before shaking her head and smiling. "Well, all he wants to do is show his interest for ya-" "I don't want any interest in me!" Her purple eyes became wide and looked at cyber with...fear? "I-I don't want to be forced to..." She stopped. Breathing heavily and blinking. Cyber rose a brow as she sat back down and stared at the desk. "B-be with someone again." Cyber blinked at her before getting a thoughtful look on her face and hummed. "Im taking it the uh...other guy wasn't too friendly huh?" She flinched and curled in more. Just shaking her head no as her answer. Cyber hummed. "Look. I'll...have a talk with the boss and just tell him to ease up on the whole wooing you stick, ok?" She didn't answer. Not that Cyber was expecting her too, with a sigh she reached out and patted her hands in a reassuring manner. "It'll be alright." It was....kinda alright. Lou's face gave her a look of confusion as his brow rose and he gave Cyber a look as to what information was actually laid back to him. She stood there waiting for an answer from him but it seemed the plant man was calculating his next move as she spoke. He always did seem one step ahead didn't he. Without another word he slowly reached for the cup of coffee beside him while looking back down to the papers he was holding. Probably another sucker signed their life away to the powerful demon. Making him one percent more powerful than he last was. One percent more dangerous. And he wasn't afraid to show it if needed. "....So, what you're telling me is that you think this..."He waved a hand, "Mysterious other lover used to be-....What exactly?" "To put it bluntly I think she was...forced into a pretty unhealthy relationship, and the guy left some bad views on guys showing interest in her...If you get what Im trying to say here." "I think I have a pretty good idea, Cyber. And trust me when I say that I have no problem with adapting to what's thrown my way. I've come to get used to that down here." He went back to the paper and smiled. "Have a little more faith in me." "Trust me I do. Buuuut-" She leaned into the wall and sighed. "I would suggest handling this case with some care. She ain't the usually hard to get woman who eventually swoon into your arms." He laughed and gave her a serious but calm look. "Oh, you don't think I know this already? You wound me Cyber.~ Really you do.~ But there's a fortune just lying under my feet and you know once you give me a shovel, there's no stopping me from getting to the buried treasure.~" She hummed and nodded but her eyes shifted back to the papers he was holding again and rose a brow. "...Is that what I think it is?" He only smiled and pulled the first paper from the stack in his hands out, shifting it around for her to look. It was a purple pink color instead of white like the rest of the stack and in fancy gold writing words curved and danced into sentences as her mind scanned over the whole thing...And smirked. "I should've known." She pointed at it. "Your old pal still throwing those once a year ball parties?" "Oh, you know Cyrus. It's a great way to lure in big hot shots. Scrounge up a few deals- " He looked back down to the paper as he turned it back to his face. "Scope out competition. ..Maybe bring along a guest?" "I don't know if that'll be a good idea-" "Why not? She came from a privelidge family before coming down here." He took another sip from his cup. "It should be her kind of crowd." "...She doesn't seem like the kind to fair well in that kind of environment. But it's your call of course." "Yes. And don't forget that...." The papers were shuffled and the chair made a scraping sound as he slowly stood up and reached for his hat. Placing it on top of his head and turning to her. "I think it's been a while since I've gone out anywhere...Cyber, when's the last time I've actually gone out anywhere to enjoy myself?" His eyes glanced out the window and looked out at the other giant buildings from his tall window view. Homes. Other businesses. And all those little lives just below him. All waiting to be groomed and be ruled under the iron fist of his hands. Oh! His mind was already disecting and gutting the whole neighborhood. He didn't want too much, not yet. After all if someone else more powerful caught wind of his little pet, there could be trouble. If he just took over a small portion of the city, barely anyone would notice since it literally happened ALL THE TIME down there. ....He'll make it too his liking. First thing gutting that disgusting workhouse in the middle of the square and making it into his own giant personal garden, his own garden on the top floor was beautiful, but his little babies could use the bigger room. And he'll add cut marble walkways, all kinds of exotic plants especially roses.Maybe he'll even get one of those multicolored roses with different colored petals. Midnight could fix a dome to keep everyone out he didn't want, or perhaps he'll cash in one of the favors his colleges owed him? And of course he'll add a fountain, small pond, he was sure there was somewhere he could purchase some small not too dangerous fish. And of course hell need some bees to help pollinate, and butterflies. They added to the colorful asthetic of it all. He had a lot of work to do. The rest of the buildings he knew exactly what he wanted to do with them. He'll knock them all down. Make ONE giant living conditions for his loyal subjects living under him, but he'd make them work in turn for his 'protection'. No soul was useless if you knew how to work. Then of course there was the wine brewery, MAYBE he'd let his top three minions pick one buildings for themselves. Midnight would benefit greatly from a whole lab to herself. She didn't care about power, as long as she got to do her experiments. Disease...he had no idea. Probably a giant bar or something...On second thought, he could make a bar attached to the brewery and have Rouge run it for him. She'd like that. Cyber might want her own workshop....Not that he cared about his minions or anything. He just wanted to be sure they were rewarded for their loyalty. After all loyalty gets rewarded....And of course he wouldn't forget his little pet.~ He'd make sure she'd be very rewarded for her work. Just let him pull the strings and be a good girl and they'd all get along just fine.~ He could feel Cyber thinking behind him before she spoke again. "Around...five months before you even met Amalfia." He chuckled. "Almost a full year. Tsk, tsk. This won't do at all. I think I deserve some quality time with my dear fiancé. Don't you?" A hiss came instead of her voice as an answer and he turned around raising a brow. It wasn't Cyber who was hissing at him, but a giant plant in the corner. It's petals flared open and it's one eye blinked at him. "Hmm? Rita? What's she-..OH! Of course." He walked over to the door waving the plant off and it closed as immediately as it came. "It's about time she came back with a reply to my little proposal. Though I didn't expect it now. Better make this quick after all.~" The door opened and he motioned for Cyber to follow. "It's best we wrap this up fast. After all. I can't wait to show how much better a man her new suiter really is.~" ......................................................................................................................................................... Within the hour Cyber had left, she had simply gone back to work with the small stack of chores she had been given. Blank purple minds glazing over the small list in her hands, when she smelt it. The faint smell of smoke. Which was strange since the living courters was a none smoking area, for the safety of Lou's precious plants, he made that very clear to her. Which meant something was on fire, the thought made her panic for a moment. Maybe one of Midnight's spells went wrong, or Disease did another oops. But all that stopped when she saw it..Or HER. Heels clicked against the floor and fancy tail feathers swished behind her as the small woman made her way down the hallway. Cigarette and burlesque like someone that just walked out of the 1920s. The small lady looked bored but her eyes peered up as soon as she made contact with who she presumed was the secretary. The two ladies looked at each other until the smaller one sucked on the end of her smoke and blew it up at her. Making her cough. "Well?" She coughed a few times waving a hand in front of her face and looked down to her. ''W-Well what? Don't you k-know L-Lou doesn't a-allow smoking?" "He knows I was coming, would've been here a lot sooner, but recently some very good clients have been...'investing' with my establishment." Her red eyes glazed over her again and she huffed. "Why don't you know this? Aren't you in charge of knowing his schedules?" Her ears went back in guilt and her hands gripped the small list tighter. "W-Well...Im still getting used t-to everything here. Im sorry, Ma'am." The woman gave another look over her. Smoke coming out of her mouth and a brow raised. "...You said you're new?" "Um. Y-Yes?" .....She snickered and gave a couple laughs. Looking at the top of her head where two little ears flickered and a horn jutted from her forehead. Was this the new pony that Charles and Rubix spoke of? How amusing. She certainly didn't look like much, guess Lou needed another pretty face to help put on the act. "Oh, so you're the pony Rubix spoke of." "Rubix?" "He's Charles's husband, and one of my best workers." Her face lit up in realization. D-Did she mean the white skeletal man they had a run in with a few months back? "..D-Do you mean the small one eyed man?" She hummed. "You work fast. Keep that up and maybe he'll-" "RITA!!" Amalfia jumped and whirled around and spotted the very plant boss himself walking down the hall with a smile hands behind his back and Cyber on his heels. Rita just calmly looked up at him and blew another puff of smoke once he got got enough to look down at her. "Still ignoring my rules I see? Then again it's hard to see you anyways." She rolled her eyes at his jab at her appearance. "Let's cute to the business. Im here for two things. The main one being your question. You want to use some of my people for entertainment?" "That was the idea, yes. You took long making up your mind. Have you decided an answer?" "I have and it's no." "Marvelous!! That wraps up things now doesn't it!" Rita rose a brow. Wasn't he going to argue or try to use sarcasm to make her change her mind. But he waved a hand and looked to the pony who jumped slightly. "Now, if you excuse me I wanted to treat my dear fiancé here to a dinner out. Dear, why don't you go with Cyber and put on something nice to wear?" "B-B-But I haven't finished-" She was pulled up off the chair and pushed away by Cyber before anyone could say another word with an eye roll from the computer. Lou in the meantime dusted himself off and noticed Rita watching the two ladies leave before looking up at him with deadpan eyes. Pulling the cigarette outta her mouth and puffing it out. "You? Fiance? Heh." She shook her head and rolled her eyes. "And what makes you want to suddenly settle down?" He simply chuckled and inspected his red talons. "Can't a man settle down and want a little lady of his own?~ You act like I'm not sincere with this." "Because you're not," she bluntly stated crossing her arms, "The famous dealer of the most popular casimo in the whole endless plain of the second circle of hell and out of all the high powerful people you choose to settle with, it's a rat with hooves?" She looked back where the women disappeared off too. "What makes her so special?" He chuckled. "Oh, I have my reasons.~ And could that be jealousy I hear from you dear Rita?~" "Not even in your dreams. Who cares if you decide to crush another heart? I have other things to do before I leave-" "Rouge is handling the bar today.~" "I DIDN'T ASK YOU!!....*Ahem*" Her tail feather ruffled up with the shout and she smoothed them out and turned around. "Im going to grab a drink since you obviously wasted my time with your question." "Please don't forget to pay your tab or it'll come from Rouge's pay.~" She rolled her eyes but didn't say anything else when she left. He...maybe wouldn't do that, but his little threat always ensured Rita paid whatever she was due. One thing he could always count on working, but he had bigger fish to fry right now. .............................................................................................................................................................................. The waiting in the lounge was possibly one of the most nerve wracking things there....Well make that one of the least. What she didn't like was being forced into some fancy get up and practically sweettalked into wearing that small rose studded ring on her finger, how weak was she to let Cyber sweet talk to her like that. God she really was pathetic wasn't she? No wonder she landed herself down here in the first place- She groaned and reached her hand up to rub her face- "I wouldn't do that if I were you." The unicorn gave a small squeak and jumped a few feet away. Turning around and the familiar smell of cigerette smoke and red eyes hit her senses. Rita gave an uninterested look at her and rose a brow at her reaction. Ears back and hunkered down into a pose like a submissive hellhound. Making her scoff and roll her eyes. Oh, boy. Lou must've been pretty bored to start swooning someone even below Disease. "You'll smudge your make up." Amalfia blinked and could only watch as the woman gave her a studying gaze and ever so slowly walked behind her, twisting her neck to follow her. Flinching when she pulled at a wrinkle in her dress and tugged at another. Srill continuing to slowly look her up and down and study her. "Rita, you probably heard about me from the weed. Name?" ....She blinked. "U-Um...Amalfia. L-Lou didn't mention you before-" She chuckled. "Lou hasn't mentioned me? Here I thought we had something special." She blinked and watched as she stopped right in from of her. "W-Well he knows Mr. Charles-" She gave off another laugh. "Oh! Trust me. Those two know each other very well. They have past connections through their second businesses...Still do." Her brow rose down at Rita at the smiling woman. "W-What?....What second business? I thought he just owned the casino." Rita just smiled with a chuckle, rolling her eyes. "Oh deary me. It seems I've said far too much. You're pretty easy to talk to, Sweetie." She reached a hand into a purse she had slung over her shoulder and pulled out a small pink card with gold writing. "My card. Pop by my place sometime. It's good to find some half decent company 'round here." ...Amalfia slowly took the card from her and she turned. "Even if you do look like a half washed up tramp. No offense, but that eye shadow job is NOT helping." ...One of her hands went up to delicately touch her face and Rita took that moment to leave, so when she turned back around the peacock tailed woman was already long gone. She blinked and looked down to the small pink card in her hands. On it was engraved an address and the name of some fancy sounding club. Sighing, she put the card into one of her pockets- "Dear!~" She jumped and whirled around to the sight of the plant demon, only this time he was adorned with a black cloak thrown over him. Giving him more of an villain appearance, behind him was Cyber looking the same as always. "Are you ready, Pet? Im so sorry if I kept you waiting, but I had to take care of a little dispute in the gaming courters." His eyes glazed over the outfit she was wearing and smiled. "Ah! And did I mention that you look absolutely lovely in that outfit.~" "....Thank you." Well, not certainly quite what he was expecting but she didn't look away from him this time. So that was one thing he should work on more. "Shall we then?" He gestured towards the exit and they were off.