#i come out of the session feeling more like crap then i went in | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

feeder86 · 2 months

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Train to Gain

“I want to get jacked!” Jay declared, standing in front of his new personal trainer with his chest puffed out.

Matt nodded, having heard the same thing many times from plenty of guys like Jay, in their early twenties. “Okay, so we’re aiming for muscle gains,” he clarified, making a note of it. “Is there a reason why you want to make this your focus?” he asked, seeing from Jay’s body that he already had a pretty good build that most guys would have been envious of.

Jay nodded. “I’ve just split up with a girl I’ve been with since high school,” he stated without a drop of remorse or sorrow. “I feel like I want to finally do something for myself. You know what I mean? I want to look good. Muscular. Lean.”

Matt nodded. So, just like all the other guys, this one believed that getting more muscle on him would help him score with the ladies. He didn’t need a PhD to crack that little mystery about the boy’s true intention. It was a tale as old as time itself.

Being so muscular himself, guys like Jay seemed to gravitate towards Matt on an almost daily basis, knowing that he could deliver the results they wanted. They saw his statuesque physique in the gym and felt that working out with a guy as built as he was was akin to ordering that body type for themselves in a catalogue. But Matt was not convinced by this latest client. Jay was a pretty-looking boy, with large soulful eyes and a gentle innocence about him. He wouldn’t be single for long. Some girl would come along, snap him up, and this whole muscle workout craze would be a thing of the past for him.

Nevertheless, Matt settled down to a detailed conversation about what it would take, the commitment Jay would need to make and the amount of sessions he would arrange with him each week. It was obvious that Jay had all the enthusiasm for his goals, but little knowledge of how to actually get there. “We’ll take things slow to begin with,” he smiled. “Then we’ll see how we get on.”

Seeming pleased, Jay shook Matt’s hand and threw his workout bag over his shoulder to leave. Then, as Jay was walking out of the gym, Matt watched as the eyes of every woman in there drifted towards his cute, tight glutes in his fitted gym shorts. Matt chuckled, nodding knowingly. It may have been Jay’s first time being single in his adult life, but it wouldn’t take the pretty boy long to work out that he didn’t need any more muscle to get women. Three weeks, maximum, Matt predicted. There was no way Jay would be paying for his services for longer than that; not when he didn’t need to.

Matt was aware that he was in the minority when it came to enjoying those winter months. But as the holidays came and went, he jumped out of bed with a renewed spring in his step, knowing that the gym would be fit to bursting with chubby, overweight and under-exercised guys trying to make a fresh start for the New Year. It was hard to pinpoint what exactly it was that he loved about them so much: that doughy shape, the jiggle of fat as they strolled on the treadmills. Maybe it was the way their sweat made their tight gym clothes stick to their rounded bodies . Matt was both mesmerised and fascinated by it all at the same time.

It was around this time of year that he had met his now ex-boyfriend who had been trying to lose a few pounds back then. He’d copped a lot of crap from his colleagues at the gym for dating someone so big, and he’d had to challenge them multiple times for their attitudes towards the match. So what if he was into bigger guys? Whose business was it who he dated? Certainly not theirs. Not that any of it mattered in the end. Nine months in and the whole relationship had fallen apart anyway. His heart broken, just as they had all been expecting,

“Alright! That was pretty good!” Matt marvelled a staggering twelve weeks later, as Jay successfully squatted his biggest weight yet. He slapped the guy on his shoulder and passed him his water. “You’re killing it!” he smiled encouragingly.

“But I don’t look any different yet,” Jay grumbled, repeating the same complaint that had surfaced again and again in their recent sessions. “Sure, I’m a little stronger, but not much.”

“We’re taking it slow, remember,” Matt stated calmly. “You were quite clear from the start that you wanted to add muscle the lean way. It just takes a little more time.”

“But what’s the alternative?” Jay asked.

“Proper bulking,” Matt replied. “You give your body all the calories it needs to grow. We discussed this in our first meeting, remember?” he explained, a little exasperated. “You were insistent. You wanted a lean muscle bulk.”

“I want to be bigger,” Jay shot back.

“If you go with the bulking option, you’d have to accept the fact that not all of the gains you make would be muscle,” Matt tried to clarify.

“But I saw this guy online…” Jay began, rambling yet again about some viral influencer who claimed to know it all about how to get ripped with ease.

Matt bit his tongue. He genuinely liked Jay, but he was fed up of trying to debunk all of the insane fitness myths clients came in with these days. He was only twenty seven, and yet he wondered how much longer he could stand to do this job when there was so much misinformation out there. “Look, let’s just try it,” he suggested forcefully, cutting Jay off mid sentence. “I’ll set you up with a bulking plan and we’ll see what happens. If you’re not happy after a couple of weeks, you can fire me and send all your money to those online fitness con artists instead,” he stated plainly.

Still not seeming overly convinced, Jay nodded. “Okay. We’ll try this your way…”

“So, have you got much planned for your week off?” Matt asked Jay a good few weeks later. He’d found that he didn’t struggle with small talk as much with Jay as he did some of his other clients. They seemed to share the same sense of humour and had successfully recommended more than one decent TV show to each other in the past.

“I’m going to a wedding,” Jay answered, sitting himself back ready to lift.

“A wedding, huh?” Matt asked, loading on the weights ready. “That’s a great place to meet girls,” he said, finding it bizarre that Jay was still single after all this time.

“Not a chance!” Jay chuckled, lifting his hands up to grab the bar. “I told you, I’m done with all that.”

“Whatever you say!” Matt chuckled back; his eyes catching sight of Jay’s stomach as the guy’s t-shirt rose, ready for the lift. He could tell that the bulking diet was well underway, with a padded thickness around Jay’s middle, bulging to the sides to form what many might consider the beginnings of love handles.

Jay lifted like never before. After one set he insisted that Matt make the bar even heavier again; grunting with the extreme effort it took.

“You did it!” Matt marvelled, finally setting the bar back minutes later. “I can’t get over how quickly you’re progressing now.”

Jay sat up, spreading his legs wide and owning the space he was in. It was a feeling Matt knew all too well: the sense of power and size after lifting more than ever before. “This bulking is really working, isn’t it?” Jay smiled.

“It is!” Jay nodded, trying to mask his surprise at just how much more noticeable Jay’s extra thickness was around his waist when he sat up like this. There was no way the guy was going to stick out the full bulking period; the boy seemed genetically predisposed to carry a tight little paunch at this size. Already Matt could sense the cut was on the horizon.

Once again, Matt’s predictions fell flat on their face. As more weeks went by, Jay was very quickly becoming one of Matt’s strongest clients. However, it was all coming at quite a cost to the guy’s naturally athletic physique. Built around a solid core, Jay’s chunky middle was rounded and significantly paunch-like in appearance, despite being somewhat muted by the large chest and muscular shoulders that had grown alongside it. If Jay had been going for that muscular V-shaped back, he had fallen far short of the mark. His stout tummy had swelled out his love handles to a size that could not be hidden by pretty much any of the t-shirts that he wore in the gym. Matt had even seen the guy out and about upon occasion, feeling shocked at just how thick and overfed he actually looked; especially with that meaty swagger he had about him, artificially pushing out his arms to increase his width.

“And, we’ll finish with twenty minutes on the treadmill,” Matt declared during their next session, waiting for the exhausted guy to sluggishly pick himself up off the weight machine.

“The treadmill?” Jay asked, as if Matt had been joking. “I’m not paying for you to watch me on the treadmill for twenty minutes,” he laughed.

“You do realise that we’re going to be putting a lot more cardio exercises into your routine from now on? We agreed to start cutting from next week, remember?”

Jay brushed him off, insisting that he could do another set on the machine he was currently on. The rest of the session continued in that manner until the time was depleted. Then a sweaty, beefy looking Jay simply lifted a protein shake to his mouth and began chugging.

“What’s in that thing?” Matt asked, noticing that it was far thicker than any of the recipes he had supplied to Jay. He took it from Jay’s limp hand and held it to his nose. “That’s so sweet!” he gasped, recoiling slightly. Swirling the remaining third in the bottle, Matt declared with absolute certainty that this was not part of the diet plan he had given Jay.

“I found the recipe online,” Jay shot back, snatching the shake back and draining it quickly. “I drink four of these daily. Your shake recipes were good, but I wasn’t packing on the muscle half as quickly as I am now.”

Matt winced. Jay had been heading in the wrong direction for weeks now; his muscle gains overshadowed by significant increases in fat. And Matt had been ignoring it all, pushing it to the back of his mind, denying it. “Have you got the recipe for me to look at?” he asked diplomatically.

Jay lazily held out his hand for Matt to pass him his cell phone from his bag. Then, after a couple of seconds, the webpage link came buzzing through to Matt.

“Um…” Matt mumbled, feeling his heart beating with worry. “Have you really been drinking these four times a day? Did you not think to check out the ingredients? All that sugar? Condensed milk?”

“I’m not an idiot!” Jay grumbled back, as Matt noticed the fat that was starting to build up under the handsome boy’s chin and into his cheeks. “These things promise results and they deliver. I’ve gained 25 lbs in the last two months alone!”

Matt took a step back, feeling that he had let Jay down more than any other client he had ever had. Yet, somewhere deep inside of him was a spark of attraction. Jay was starting to look genuinely fat. It was literally spreading across his entire body and had been doing so for weeks. “I’m so sorry,” he mumbled guiltily. “I should have been more on top of your diet planner. This should never have happened.”

Jay seemed utterly perplexed by Matt’s remorse, but he agreed to pack up his stuff and head out to a local cafe for a more thorough debrief. They sat with two coffees at a small table near the front as Matt considered how best to insist that Jay quit the shakes as soon as possible.

Matt thought he had his speech all ready to go. He inhaled, ready to begin, when he suddenly noticed that Jay’s attention was elsewhere. A large, overweight guy had come in through the door, making Jay look across with interest. Matt followed his gaze and then cringed with regret, realising that the man was none other than his ex boyfriend, Chris. They had just made eye contact.

“I’m really sorry about this!” Matt blasted out, realising that his almost 400 lb ex was heading over to the table and there was nothing that he could do to stop him.

“Hello Matt,” the large bellied guy smiled. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Yeah,” Matt nodded, not looking directly at him in the hopes that he would soon get the message and leave them be. “Nice to see you, Chris,” he lied.

“I gained a bit of weight recently,” Chris went on, patting his fat stomach. “I’d love to show you some time.”

“I’m actually with a client right now!” Matt hissed, losing patience. “When I said that things were over between us, I meant it.”

Chris looked down at them both, giving Jay in particular the most filthy of looks. Then he turned, deciding that the coffee house was no good after all and disappeared out of the door.

“Who was that?” Jay exclaimed the second the guy’s large form had disappeared beyond the windows.

“My ex,” Matt sighed, feeling frustrated that they should bump into each other here; whilst he was with a client no less! “We broke up about eight months ago.”

“You? And HIM?” Jay asked in disbelief, making it hard for Matt to tell whether it was the fact that he dated guys that most surprised Jay, or the sheer size of that ex-boyfriend. Either way, it became the focus of a long line of questions that Matt was finding difficult to deflect.

“I’ve made a decision,” Jay finally declared as they at last got off the topic of Matt’s love life. “I want to keep the bulk going for another six weeks.”

“I would very strongly advise against that,” Matt replied immediately.

“Six more weeks!” Jay laughed, as if he was making the simplest of alterations to their training plan. “It’s nothing! You need to learn to relax, buddy!”

Matt sighed. Perhaps because he was still reeling from coming face to face with Chris again, he did not feel especially inclined to argue. Jay was a client after all, and his wishes had to be respected - even if he was making a choice that Matt knew would make it significantly harder for the guy to get back in shape afterwards.

Just as Matt had anticipated, the weight that poured onto Jay’s body over the coming weeks was nothing more than pure fat. He’d find himself staring at it, having never felt so conflicted in his life. He was attracted by fat on a guy’s body, yes. But Jay was also a client who was confused by all of the bad advice out there and had caught himself up in a pattern of weight gain that was bloating his previously toned body. The sight of it, Matt had to admit, was nothing short of wildly arousing.

“He’s one of yours isn’t he?” asked one of the other trainers as Jay walked in for his training session wearing a t-shirt that was significantly too tight for his bloated torso. The guy braced himself against the wall to stretch out his calves, not realising how much his shirt had ridden up in the process and exposing a good three inches of his new, overfed tummy pushing itself over the waistband.

“Great work, Matt,” sneered Harry, the other male trainer, giving him a sarcastic slow clap as the three of them all watched Jay from a good distance.

Matt wanted to explain how he hadn’t been to blame; how Jay had found bad advice online instead, and was continuing to bulk against his advice. However, there was a strange thrill in not saying anything at all; something that Matt could not explain, even if he tried.

Next, Jay began squatting, spreading his chunky legs wide apart with the good posture that Matt had taught him, then lifting his body up and down. It was a simple move and not at all noteworthy but for the extreme tightness of the shorts he was wearing, pulling the waistband lower and lower at the back, revealing more and more of his butt crack with each dip; thanks in part to the similarly undersized underwear he had on underneath.

“Ugh!” laughed Harry.. “No one wants to see that!”

Matt looked around at the others in the gym. Jay was indeed getting looks of disapproval, and even disgust, for his scandalously tight clothing.

“You need to have a word,” the trainers all agreed. “He’s putting people off. It’s bad for business.”

Matt sighed. He knew what they were saying was right, but how could he even begin a conversation about it to a client who was paying him? Especially one he was starting to crush on in the most inappropriate of ways.

Despite Jay’s confidence on the weights, it was quite clear during that session that the guy wasn’t making as much progress with his lifting than he obviously thought he was. In fact, his lifting had peaked almost two months earlier and there had been minimal successes since then. What had changed was the amount of sweating Jay was doing; leaving the machines with a damp imprint of his overfed rear which Matt wiped down each time. But with the sweating, Jay’s clothing tightened around him even more. Matt didn’t need to see Jay on the scales, he was an expert on every part of his body, knowing exactly how it was altering because he could see it right there, before his very eyes. He had to breathe a little deeper when he felt the arousal getting too much for him. Jay’s butt was pure perfection; shaped by good genes and some decent early muscle gains, but now swelling and widening with the pounds and pounds of fat the guy was amassing.

Jay had been buzzing about his new apartment; finally allowing him to get out of parents’ place. It was going to make bulking a lot easier, he’d declared, making Matt feel uneasy about how much more extreme his client may take things.

“I’ve got boxes and boxes of stuff all over the place,” Jay complained. “I need a good sort out, really. It’s just so easy to dump it all in the closet and forget about it though.”

“That reminds me,” Matt jumped in, seeing an opening and seizing upon it. “I got an email the other day for a good discount on the online shop I use for clothes,” he began, having pondered over how best to approach the clothes issue for the entire hour of their session. “It can be quite hard to find stuff that fits right when you’re a bodybuilder.”

“Tell me about it!” nodded the chubby boy, not sensing the irony in his words in the slightest. “None of my clothes fit properly anymore.”

Matt nodded. Under normal circumstances, this would have been a good lead in to discuss Jay’s dissatisfaction with his clothing and how he shouldn’t really be feeling such tightness around his stomach when he was trying to pack on muscle. As it was, he could feel the eyes of the other trainers on the back of his head. The only task he had to complete was getting Jay out of those ridiculously tight gym clothes. “I use this brand,” he lied, showing Jay the webpage he had just got up on his cell phone. He knew that impressionable guys like Jay wanted to look like him; to have the same confidence and presence. If he recommended a clothes line to them, he was pretty certain they would take it. “With the progress you’ve been making, you could probably get away with the extra large, but the 2XL might suit your needs more if you’re still in the bulking phase. Fast delivery too.”

Jay nodded with interest and took every link that Matt sent him.

“I’ve spoken to him about the clothes,” Matt nodded, seeing the faces of expectation from the other trainers as he went back after the session ended.

“I know it’s tough having to tell a client that they’re getting too heavy,” Harry nodded. “But when he’s spilling out of his clothes like that, enough is enough. It’s time to say something.”

Matt nodded, knowing that Harry was exactly right. But that wasn’t what he had done, was it? He’d sent Jay off believing that he was making ‘progress’ and that he needed to wear clothes suitable for bodybuilders. The reality was anything but. Jay was chubby and out of shape. He’d not done any cardio in… it must have been months! He was a client who kept Matt awake at night with his feelings of guilt. He was letting the guy down, and this latest stunt was his worst sin of all.

It came as no surprise when Jay continued to be obsessed with bulking, even after the third and fourth deadlines for cutting came and went. The small mercy was that Jay was at least dressed better in the gym. With his new clothes, he was starting to look like any other broad, fat guy. His pretty face was still getting him the odd glance from some of the women, but the fatter body underneath was more than enough to ensure that it never progressed into anything more.

“You’ll never guess what I managed to get tickets for!” Jay blasted one Wednesday evening as he came in for his session.

“No way?” Matt grinned, knowing exactly where Jay was going with this. “You got them? But the concert has been sold out for months!”

“They were giving away tickets on the radio. I phoned up, answered some trivia questions live on air with someone else and… they’re mine!” he grinned, clearly delighted with himself.

“Congratulations!” Matt beamed. “I’m so jealous! You’re going to have such a great time!”

“No… WE’RE going to have such a great time,” Jay corrected him. “They asked me on the radio show who I wanted to take with me, and I told them your name. You’re the only person I know who is as obsessed with them as I am. No one else would appreciate it like you would.”

Matt’s initial reaction was to decline. There were many clients who tried to socialise outside of these sessions, but it was almost always unprofessional to do so. However, he had also desperately wanted to see this band since he was eight years old. Plus, he and Jay did genuinely seem to get on pretty well.”

“Can I give you some money for the ticket then?” he asked.

“No, I got them for free,” Jay shot back, shaking his head.

“Well, I’ll drive us then,” Matt tried to compromise, knowing that the concert was a good couple of hours away. “I know where your new place is. I can pick you up at about 4pm on Saturday afternoon?”

Jay nodded, accepting the offer without hesitation. Then, for the rest of the week, Matt was telling all of his clients about the concert and how excited he was. He was amazed that not a single person had heard of the band or even recognised any of the tracks when he played a couple of samples for them on his cell phone. ‘What the hell was wrong with people?’ he thought to himself, highlighting in his mind just how much better he clicked with Jay than anyone else he worked with.

That Saturday, Matt didn’t really know who he was trying to impress as he slipped on his most expensive shirt and left the last three buttons undone to expose part of his strapping chest. He turned up at Jay’s building, expecting to head straight off, but was instead buzzed inside.

“Sorry!” Jay spluttered, opening the door to him, covered with only a small towel around his waist, fresh from the shower. “I had a big lunch and fell asleep! I only woke up ten minutes ago.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Matt nodded, trying to keep his eyes fixed on Jay’s face and not look down to explore his client’s beautifully chubby proportions. “We’ve got plenty of time.”

Jay trotted back into his bedroom; his jiggly love handles bouncing with the quick pace he was going at. Matt simply took a deep breath and tried to control the arousal that he felt. He looked around the apartment, coming to one very obvious conclusion: This was the home of a fat guy. It was obvious; from the small armies of empty beer cans, to the carnage of emptied take out containers and pizza boxes. Discarded clothes dotted the space and Matt found himself meandering into the kitchen; his curiosity getting the better of him. He opened the refrigerator and peeked in all of the cupboards as quietly as he possibly could. What he found was far worse than he ever would have imagined: cakes, candy, cookies and several containers of those disastrous protein shakes… Jay had the lot, and then some. The guy was eating like a pig and putting on weight at a frankly alarming rate. Matt tried to breathe deeply again, but this time, the blood rushing towards his groin seemed determined to give him a full on erection.

“Thanks for waiting for me,” Jay smiled moments later, coming out in a shirt that was far too small for his stout little gut. He opened the refrigerator and downed one of his shakes, as was his usual routine at this time. Once again, Matt had to look away. Then, as the last of it drained, Jay lifted his arms and pumped his biceps, now covered in a good layer of pure fat.

The conversation flowed well in the car as the pair listened to a few of the band’s old albums and talked at length about their shared interests.

“If we’ve still got twenty minutes before we need to go in, I’m going to find some food,” Jay declared once they had parked up. He walked slightly ahead as Matt tried to avert his eyes away from the guy’s wide, overfed glutes, barely contained in his overly tight pants. “I absolutely love bulking,” he declared a few minutes later, holding a giant burger in both hands and raising it part way to his mouth. Then, like a genuine glutton, he dropped his head over it and began feasting with his large shoulders hunched forwards.

Matt genuinely did try to enjoy the concert, but he was conscious of trying to hold back an erection the entire time. He wondered why his brain had to be wired up this way. Why couldn’t he just enjoy the music without getting turned on by the significantly chubby guy he had come here with? He’d had to sit for significant periods of the concert with his hands resting over his crotch as Jay danced beside him, arms up in the air and his rounded tummy popping out. It was so humid in there, making Jay glow with a beautiful fat-boy sweat and ensuring that his clothes plastered themselves to his thick body even more than they already were doing.

“I’ve got a surprise for you,” Jay smiled the moment the lights came up. “How would you like to go backstage?”

Matt couldn’t believe it as he was shaking hands with his idols and chatting away with other fans backstage only minutes later. It truly was an extraordinary night.

“So, how do you guys know each other?” the lead singer asked as he came up to them both at the bar.

“Matt’s my personal trainer,” Jay answered, downing his beer into his bloated belly.

“I can see you’ve got your work cut out for you,” the singer whispered to Matt, tapping him on his strong back in sympathy.

“I’m in the best shape of my life,” Matt went on, clearly a little tipsy. He put his beer down and reached into his tight pocket to pull out his cell phone. “This is me, before I started training,” he declared, passing the singer a picture of him from just under eleven months ago: slim, handsome, athletic.

“And this is you… ‘before’ you started training?” the guy asked, ensuring that he wasn’t misunderstanding.

Jay nodded enthusiastically, raising his chubby arms to flex and simultaneously letting his chubby belly fall out for the umpteenth time that evening.

“Right,” the singer nodded, confused and surprised; possibly wondering if Jay was making some sort of joke. He slapped Matt on the back once more, then headed off to speak to some others.

When Jay asked to stop off for more food on the way back, Matt didn’t feel that he really had the right to refuse him after the night they had had together. However, it was yet another torturous exercise, having to sit next to Jay as he was gorging his fat body on more fries and burgers in the passenger seat. The sounds of his greedy chewing and swallowing were turning on an already stimulated sex drive to even greater extremes.

“I thought he might have been flirting with you,” Jay explained as they discussed their encounter with the lead singer. “The way he kept on tapping you on the back like that.”

“That wasn’t what that was about,” Matt answered simply as he tried to control the boner he was getting, listening to Jay sucking air as he reached the end of his gigantic milkshake.

“You must have people flirting with you all the time, the shape you’re in,” Jay continued, stuffing the last of the fries into his mouth.

Matt took a breath in, wondering how to answer something like that. The answer was yes; he certainly did get a lot of attention from both guys and girls. But, as was being made strikingly clear to him that evening, the types of people he found attractive himself were often quite far from what most would expect.

“You don’t talk much about this sort of stuff, do you?” Jay asked him next after a pause.

“Neither do you,” Matt shot back.

“I’m just out of a long term relationship,” Jay replied grandly.

“Over a year ago!” Matt laughed. “In that case, I can use the same excuse.”

“You mean that huge guy we met in the coffee house that time? You were really into him?”

“I was in love with him, yes,” Matt replied, feeling that the conversation was getting a little too close to the bone now.

“How did he get that big? Was he always fat? Or did he just put on weight as an adult?” Jay pressed on obliviously.

“Combination of both, I expect,” Matt shrugged, trying to think of how to shift the conversation away from his ex.

“Do you think I could ever get as big as he is?” Jay asked.

Matt looked across at Jay in confusion. “Chris wasn’t a weight lifter, y’know?” he stated plainly. “He was probably as weak as a kitten. He was just… very overweight.”

“I just remember him being large,” Jay shrugged. “Guys like that always make me feel a little jealous.”

“There aren’t many people who would be jealous of Chris’ body type,” Matt chuckled, assuming that Jay was making fun.

“I think, if I kept up my protein shakes, I’d have a chance at getting to his sort of size,” Jay pondered aloud.

“I have no doubt that you would,” Matt nodded. “But it wouldn’t be lean muscle, I can promise you that.”

“Do you think it would suit me?” Jay asked playfully back.

Now Matt felt entirely on the backfoot. There was no way to answer the question without incriminating himself somehow. “I guess so,” he mumbled vaguely.

“So, do you think I should give up weight lifting then?” the guy immediately replied..

“I didn’t say that,” Matt countered.

“It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently. I’ve had a lot more success gaining weight and getting big in other ways, rather than muscle. Maybe I should just focus on that?”

“You know exactly what I’d say to that. I’m a personal trainer!” Matt reminded him. “Of course you’re not supposed to give up weight training and just let yourself get fat.”

“You can be such a square sometimes,” Jay laughed. “You’re so caught up with your diet plans, your nutrition goals and research papers on exercise schedules. You forget that most people don’t care about any of that stuff. It’s all about feeling good in your own body.”

The last fifteen minutes of the journey went by a little smoother, with the conversation naturally evolving into something lighter.

“Want to come in and grab those recipe books you lent me?” Jay asked as they parked up outside his building.

Thinking about another of his clients, Matt nodded keenly. It was more than obvious that Jay had little interest in any of the lean meals in them, so why not pass them on? He followed the guy up the stairs, allowing his brain to fantasise about taking the chubby guy straight into his bedroom. Now that he knew he would be home in twenty minutes and able to release all the pent-up sexual frustration from his evening with Jay, he somehow felt more able to embrace it; gazing with lust at those giant glutes, like round globes of fat, pressed tightly into Jay’s pants as he walked up the stairs ahead of him.

“They’ll be in my closet somewhere,” Jay explained, leading Matt into his bedroom. Inside here, the mess of take out containers continued, making it clear that Jay did just as much of his eating in bed, as he did anywhere else in the apartment. He reached over a pile of boxes and leaned into this closet, presenting Matt with a full view of his wide rear. Matt simply stared at it, swooning.

Jay had to lean in more and more, too lazy to move the boxed out of the way, and grunting from the effort. Matt told him not to worry; that he could get them some other time, but still Jay persevered, leaning even more of his weight onto the boxes at the front. Then, in a split second, they gave way underneath him, sending Jay falling head first into the closet, his legs up in the air.

Matt grabbed at him in a swift rescue, lifting him up and out by pulling him by his waistband and trying to reach his arm in to hold Jay just above his waist. He was a very heavy boy indeed, and not easy to shift, but eventually he came, looking significantly worse for wear. The most stressed buttons on his shirt had popped clean off and his pants had ripped as Matt had tried to pull him up from behind.

“Sorry about that,” Matt mumbled, seeing what a state Jay now looked in his torn clothes. He’d had to pull him at a strange angle to get him back upright and, although he hoped it wasn’t the case, there was a possibility that Jay might have felt the erection in his pants as he was put back on his feet.

Jay flattened his hair and shuffled over to his mirror. His fingers explored the ripped buttons and torn material. There was his little fat belly popping out like never before; his significant fat gains never looking more obvious. The hallmarks of actual obesity starting to shine through.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Matt asked, wondering why Jay was so stunned; his nervousness increasing by the second.

“If I asked you to stay tonight, would you?” Jay asked simply.

“Why do you want me to stay?” Matt asked. “Do you think you’ve hurt yourself?”

Jay did not answer, but simply unbuttoned only the remaining buttons of his shirt and let the material fall to the floor. “Stay,” he repeated, letting Matt’s gaze fall in its entirety upon his bloated, fattened body. “I can tell that you’d like to.”

Matt allowed himself to enjoy the sight. His fingers twitched at his side, desperate to explore and touch. “Do you mean that?” he asked, no longer hiding his interest.

Jay nodded, grabbing a wedge of his own fat. “Let’s just say, you’re not the only person who gets a boner over this stuff.”

Immediately, Matt pulled Jay into a deeply passionate kiss. Their hands began to explore each other and they soon fell, entirely naked onto the unmade bed. Finally, the fizzing sexual tension that had been torturing Matt all night was set free; the fireworks still to come.

Matt woke the next morning as the light began pouring in through Jay’s window. He turned, seeing the bloated boy still resting deeply. Despite his good looks, this wasn’t the sort of thing that Matt ever did. He could count on a single hand how many guys he had slept with in the past, and he could explain how each one of them had eventually ended up breaking his heart.

Jay stirred as Matt made an attempt to get out of bed. “Morning,” he called out. “What a wild night, huh?”

Matt smiled. “Pretty wild, yeah!” he nodded.

“Did I do it okay?” Jay asked sweetly. “I’ve never tried to give a blow job before.”

“You did great!” Matt nodded. “Amazing, in fact,” he added, remembering how quickly they had both climaxed last night. He’d worked on Jay first and then the sweet guy worked his mouth on Matt until he came in less than a minute.

“Could you go and get me my shake out of the refrigerator?” Jay asked next, sitting up. “I forgot to have my last one when we got back yesterday, so I’ll have to make up for it this morning. In fact, bring me two,” he reconsidered. “I’ll get it down now.”

Matt hesitated for a moment. He knew that, officially, as Jay’s trainer, he wasn't supposed to approve of these shakes. Still, he was in Jay’s apartment, having just spent the night, so he could hardly start lecturing him now.

Still in a state of undress, Matt slipped out of the room and tiptoed over the mess that was littering the living space. He opened the fridge and felt a pang of arousal as he remembered just how many Jay had prepared for himself.

“Thanks,” Jay smiled, getting back from the bathroom as Matt returned. “I can still feel that burger from last night,” he chuckled, rubbing the shelf of stomach fat, before taking a deep deep breath chugging one of the shakes.

Matt’s penis, which hadn’t been flaccid since the moment he woke up next to Jay, began to pump itself harder upon watching Jay drink. He found it embarrassing how quickly his arousal responded to stuff like this and he moved his hand to cover it up; not wanting Jay to see and realise what a freak he was. However, as he looked at the bedsheets, he could see that the same thing was happening to Jay as well, with his own hardness pushing the material upwards, throbbing up and down like a heartbeat.

Taking himself off to the bathroom, Matt calmed himself down. He was so into Jay, he couldn’t ruin it, like last time. When he returned, both shakes were emptied and Jay was up, checking his body out in the mirror; that old jock physique of his destroyed and replaced with the chubby, overfed form there was today. Gone was the youthful pertness of his glutes, now so wide and juicy. All the added fat had swollen his chest up so considerably, with his new, pointed nipples looking alert and sharp as they started to droop a little onto the broad, shockingly ball-like stomach that completely dominated the boy’s appearance.

Matt went over and kissed the chub sweetly, hoping that Jay wouldn’t feel differently now the morning had arrived. Afterwards, he took the guy’s hand and then gently led him back to bed; making love to him slowly and passionately this time; wanting to show Jay just how much he could adore and cherish him, if he would only give him the chance.

When Jay turned up for their training session the next day, there was an air of mischief about him. The pair of them were chuckling and smiling, knowing exactly what they had got up to at the weekend and excited to be in each other’s company again. Now when Matt had to touch him, supporting his arms in a certain way, or correcting his posture, it sent waves of pleasure through his entire body. If he tried to get tough with Jay to get him to build up a sweat, the guy would come back with something flirtatious or rude, making Matt laugh.

“What time do you finish tonight?” Jay asked after a particularly arousing session where Jay had actually done very little indeed.

“Ten,” Matt replied, wincing at how late it was going to be.

“That’s okay,” Jay smiled excitedly. “Want to stay over again?”

Matt looked around, trying to hold himself back from wanting to kiss Jay right there and then; the cutest, chubbiest guy currently at the gym that moment. He knew how unprofessional it was to be dating his client. In some ways, it was like playing with fire; both terrifying and thrilling. “Want me to bring anything over?” he asked politely, knowing how low Jay was getting on supplies like lubricant and condoms after the weekend.

“You could pick me up some doughnuts,” Jay happily agreed.

“Oh, right. Okay,” Matt mumbled in surprise. That hadn’t been what he had meant at all. “Any particular kind?” he offered, not wanting to spoil the mood by declining.

“Just the twelve pack that you can get at the late night convenience place at the end of my street,” Jay answered him, clearly wanting to kiss him goodbye, but knowing that he couldn’t here.

Slapping the twelve pack of doughnuts on the counter a while later, Matt couldn’t help feeling a little guilty. Here he was getting a spark of arousal at buying all this sugar and fat for his chubby lover. What would people say if they knew? He strolled over to Jay’s place and was buzzed in, finding the apartment door open as he made it up the stairs.

Seeing his chubby boy sprawled out on the couch, Matt took off his shirt and smiled, closing the door behind him before he marched straight over to kiss his new lover. Still dressed in his gym clothes, Jay’s stomach was falling out of his t-shirt as he twisted his head for the kiss. Two more empty flasks of shake sat on the floor beside the couch, alongside another pizza box that Jay must have picked up right after his workout.

Matt had slipped his hand onto Jay’s tummy as he went back for another kiss. How could he tell him off for his bad diet when he looked so adorable right now?

“Did you get my doughnuts?” Jay asked.

Matt nodded, getting up to collect them and feeling surprised at how eagerly Jay took them from him.

“Amazing! You got the cream filled ones!” Jay cheered, ripping the box open and pushing a doughnut straight in his mouth.

Matt hadn’t realised that there were different types, having just bought the first pack he’d found in the store, but he was pleased that it was giving Jay so much pleasure. He gazed with adoration as he ate, feeling himself falling hard for the guy. He sat there, on the floor, below the couch, rubbing Jay’s leg, observing it all. Doughnut number 5, 6 and 7 disappeared. Afterwards, Matt slipped in beside him, kissing his head from behind and holding the overfed boy tenderly. Whilst he couldn’t wait to sleep with Jay again, these tender moments were something he never wanted to rush.

“Did anyone notice that we were flirting at the gym? Jay asked as they lay tenderly together later on. “I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

“That’s not something I want you to worry about,” Matt whispered into his ear. “I can handle any fallout if it comes to that.”

“I’ve actually wanted to quit weight training for quite some time. I just didn’t know how to tell you properly. Then our little relationship wouldn’t be so much of an issue.”

“So, we’re in a relationship, huh?” Matt teased, beaming with pride and hugging his boyfriend tightly from behind. “I don’t want you to give it up just for me, though,” he added regretfully.

“You’re the only reason I stuck it out so long,” Jay chuckled. “The truth is, I’m getting a lot more of a buzz out of developing my mass in ways that aren’t strength training related.”

Matt lifted his head as he lay in bed and looked down at the fat filled stomach on Jay; his hardness immediately throbbed into the guy’s doughy glutes. He wished he could control it; still wanting to conceal the fact that he found the idea of Jay becoming even more overweight so wildly erotic. He realised that as much as he would try to reason with Jay about his overeating and general laziness, his dick would always be there, trying to undermine his words of caution.

Although Jay didn’t acknowledge it with his words, he reached across for yet another doughnut, even though he had previously said he was stuffed. Was that for Matt’s benefit? Was he doing it to turn him on? Perhaps it was yet another unintended error of Matt’s that was dragging Jay even further down this crazy rabbit hole.

Jay’s gains began to speed up quite dramatically within the first six months of their relationship; Matt’s guilt increasing with every pound. There were times when he should have stepped in to stop Jay pushing his appetite too hard. When he discovered Jay buying in clothes for himself that were far too large, he could have asked why. He knew so much about nutrition and what it all was doing to Jay’s body, bloating it more and more beyond recognition. He’d crossed 300lbs. That should have been a moment for them both to take stock and reevaluate things; but the arousal of it all; the way Jay seemed to not care in the slightest about how people were seeing him these days; that confidence; the love that Matt felt for him. It all culminated to ensure the personal trainer kept quiet and allowed it to continue.

Jay’s body was stunning. There wasn’t a single spot where the fat hadn’t done its work, softening and swelling him up. With the lack of weight training, Jay’s chest had succumbed to the blubber, now filling up under his armpits and inflating his arms. All the while, his gut and wide butt quietly continued to grow ever more; becoming more extreme with each passing day.

Matt couldn’t say not to Jay on his birthday. He’d asked him again and again what he wanted to do for it: a day trip, a weekend hotel stay, any gift he wanted. But all Jay had insisted on was a take-out meal in front of the TV.

“This ice cream is definitely the best,” Jay smiled, scooping out from the tub with his spoon. “I can’t believe you found some!”

“Well, you’re worth it,” Matt smiled. “I even found some of those special flavour doughnuts that you tried a few months ago. So you’ve got something to enjoy tomorrow as well.”

“Tomorrow?” Jay chuckled sceptically. “I’ll be having those bad boys tonight! It is my birthday after all!”

Matt laughed and nodded. There was no arguing with that logic.

“In fact,” Jay continued. “I’d like you to be the one to feed them to me.”

Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, Matt pretended to spill his glass of water and made a fuss, grabbing a towel from the kitchen.

“Why do you always do that?” Jay asked, obviously downbeat. “You’ve got to know that I love the idea of you feeding me. We both clearly get off on how fat I’m getting. Everyone thinks you’re a feeder now. They saw you with your ex; they’ve seen me getting over 350lbs. You’ve heard them whispering it behind your back. So why won’t you ever feed me?”

Matt tried to brush the comments off. It wasn’t the right time; not on Jay’s birthday. However, his refusal to answer only seemed to make things worse. “Okay,” he finally surrendered. “I’m not being coy,” he admitted. “I… I just…” he stumbled. “It was when I was dating Chris.”

“The four hundred pound guy you were with before me?” Jay asked, with only a mild hint of jealousy.

“Chris and I didn’t meet at a club like I told everyone. We actually met on a kink website for feeders and gainers.”

“How did I not know this?” Jay laughed, realising that his shy boyfriend had been holding out on him the entire time. “So you used to feed Chris to make him gain weight?”

Matt nodded. “It was great. It felt amazing. I fell ridiculously in love with the guy. He put on about 40lbs in the time we were together.”

“You dark horse!” Jay joked, barely containing his delight.

“But it just wrecked things in the end. We both wanted him bigger and fatter. We spoke about it endlessly. But when Chris was in a mood with me for something, he used to blame only me for making him fat. He said it was all my fault he was so unhappy. I spent so much of my time trying to make him smile and the second something pissed him off, he’d throw it all back in my face.”

“That’s not very nice,” Jay agreed, pleased to finally learn how Matt’s previous relationship had ended.

“Then there was one day when Chris’ car broke down. He came over in such a bad mood and started taking it all out on me. He ended up getting drunk and heading out with his friends. He made out to them all that I was fattening him secretly. He even messaged my parents to say the same thing.”

“Shit!” Jay cringed for him, now realising why Matt’s parents had never been especially warm with him.

“Chris apologised, of course. But it was too late. Fake news like that travels like wildfire. Even though I knew I was always going to be attracted to bigger guys, I always promised myself, I wouldn’t ever get caught up in a situation like that again. Not if it risked making someone as special as you so unhappy.”

Jay nodded, completely understanding. “It makes sense,” he nodded in agreement. “But you’re not to blame for how I’m turning out. I’m not Chris, and I never have been.”

“I get that, but..” Matt tried to counter.

“No, I mean it. I’ve wanted to be a fat boy for as long as I can remember. I felt so ashamed about it. I thought a muscle gain might quench that thirst, but it didn’t. There is no part of me that is doing this just for your pleasure,” he stated sincerely. “So stop with the guilt.”

Matt nodded, feeling that he had been thoroughly put in his place. This wasn’t all about him. This was Jay’s journey.

“But I think you also know how huge I want to get. I know you’ve spotted some of the clothes I’ve been buying recently,” Jay smiled.

“Yeah, those sweatpants you bought the other day…” Matt nodded knowingly. “They were something else!”

Jay beamed with pride. “Aren’t they just!” he chuckled. “So why don’t you tell me, seriously,” he insisted. “How do you really feel about me getting so fat that I could actually wear pants like that?”

Matt considered his answer, knowing how upfront and honest they were both trying to be that evening. “Excited,” he replied simply. “Really turned on by it.”

“So, would you be willing to help me with getting there?” Jay asked.

Matt knew what Jay was asking of him and he sighed at the hard choice he was having to make. “I really want to,” he admitted, rubbing Jay’s rounded gut and admiring the tight softness. “It’s been so difficult trying to hold myself back sometimes.”

“Then stop,” Jay shrugged. “You know that I’m doing this, with or without your help.”

The two men looked at each other with true honesty in their eyes. “Okay,” Matt smiled at last. “Okay, I’ll.. try.”

Jay beamed brightly and slouched his fat body into the tortured couch, placing his limp hands at his side and opening his mouth, waiting. “No time like the present. It is my birthday, after all!”

Matt, who had not been anticipating such an immediate start, fumbled slightly, not knowing what to do as he picked up a doughnut from the table. “Are you sure you’re ready?” he asked nervously.

Jay nodded, raising his eyebrows with excitement, but did not close his mouth as the doughnut was dangled so wonderfully close to his face.

With the doughnut in his hand, Matt pressed it into Jay’s greedy mouth. The boy moaned in appreciation and took as large a bite as he could. The sound was instantly arousing. Already he felt the sugar uncomfortably sticking to his fingers. By the time the third bite came along, he knew the remaining piece was too big, but pushed it into Jay’s mouth anyway; making the fat boy’s cheeks swell with fattening dough and sugar. Yet, still the glutton gorged, sucking the sugar off Matt’s fingers as soon as he possibly could. This was hot!

Jay’s hand reached towards the hunk’s crotch, feeling the arousal his part in the feeding had given him. Then he smirked gleefully. There was no hiding anything now as they both undressed entirely. “Feed me another,” he demanded.

Matt did as he was told, picking up more confidence with each fresh doughnut he pushed into the horny boy’s mouth. Seeing sugar glistening on the glutton’s cheeks, the arousal in his eyes; the pleasure he took from drawing this side of Matt out.

“Am I a good piggy?” Jay asked teasingly,sucking on Matt’s hardness as the doughnuts were all finished at last.

Moaning softly, feeling his dick getting sticky from the fat guy’s sugary saliva, Matt nodded in agreement. Had Jay really just referred to himself as a ‘piggy’?

“Say it then,” Jay demanded, letting his hand take over for the few seconds he needed his mouth to talk. “Tell me what a good, fattening pig I am.”

Matt’s brain was foggy with lust. He could tell that Jay was already holding back, not allowing him to climax just yet. “You’re a good piggy,” he heard himself saying, worrying that he could ejaculate the moment he felt the words leaving his mouth. “And I do want you get fatter,” he admitted. “I always have.”

“Prove it then,” Jay suddenly demanded, slipping his mouth and hands away from Matt’s hardness; cutting him off in an instant.

“How?” Matt asked, having been so close to finishing before this abrupt stop.

“The refrigerator,” Jay simply replied; smirking in triumph.

Matt knew in an instant what he needed to do. He headed straight over and collected Jay’s calorie shake from the cool refrigerator and held it in his hands, about to become the world’s biggest hypocrite after everything he had said about these things.

“What do you want me to do?” asked a super horny birthday boy, laying back again and letting the fat splay into the seat once more.

“I want you to drink it,” Matt replied, already unscrewing the lid.

“What’s it going to do to me?” Jay whispered next, savouring the kinky moment between them both.

“It’s going to make you fatter,” Matt smiled back, so happy to be drawn into the game; so happy that he was doing this at last.

Matt stepped closer to the fat boy and then sat beside him, using his free hand to jiggle the immense softness that had enveloped Jay’s torso, whilst kissing him deeply. Then, just as Jay was really getting into it, he lifted his free hand up and gently rocked the boy’s head backwards so that his mouth pointed towards the ceiling, in position for the pouring.

“Are you ready, Piggy?” Matt asked, finally unleashing his true self. “It’s time to grow for me…”

Jay’s eyes were dancing with excitement as they drifted from his feeder’s gaze and up towards the ominously held jug of calorie shake looming above his head. Then, just like that, his mouth opened wider than Matt had ever seen it go before.

Matt couldn’t put his finger on when exactly he came, but he knew he hadn’t been done pouring. His fat boy had slipped his pudgy, sweaty hand onto his hardness and tugged at it; pushed it right into his giant, jiggling stomach, until Matt could stand it no longer. His orgasm had been years in the making and he moaned louder than any of his former lovers had ever heard him.

A new beast had just been unleashed.

#gainer fiction #gay feedee #gainerstory #gayfeedee #gainerstories #gainer fic #gainerfic #gayfeeder #gainer story #gainer stories

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thedemonknownasbilly · 5 months

Note

Hello hello, I hope you're feeling better! I had an idea for a request if you're feeling up to it, but don't feel pressured!

I was thinking of headcanons (or a scenario, whichever you prefer)- of how Aziraphale and Crowley would react to seeing their s/o mid work-out session?

Kinda cheesy lmao- sorry about that

-🐝

Routines

I am, thank you!

That’s definitely an interesting idea, wouldn’t mind taking a crack at it, my workouts are nothing too special so I’m having to use my best friend’s routine to go more in depth. (She and I have FaceTimed and talked so much crap while she worked out)

So sorry this took a while, last night had the glitch and then today has been a family day with Kiddo and Bestie.

Ineffable Husbands x GN!Reader

Slightly suggestive

Crowley

He hadn’t really noticed your routine, it wasn’t to say he didn’t care, it was just that you had just begun and did so typically when he was out of the house. He had gone to Aziraphale’s bookshop for some sort of talk with the Angel, something about Adam and young master Warlock even though Armageddon and the Second Coming had both failed and the world was at last safe. You had your music playing in your earbuds as you began your lifts, hardly hearing him come in, paying no mind to the trembling plants.

“Sorry about that Pet, Azira-” he cut himself off when he was met with you in skintight athletic pants and a loose fitting tank top. “Bloody hell, Satan don’t take me now.” He murmured, watching as your muscles flexed and showed with every right move, his forked tongue wetting his lip as he finally surged forward to you, grabbing you by the waist, effectively startling you. “You know, I heard of a much better form of exercise.” He murmured as he placed kisses along your neck.

“Oh yeah?” You teased him, “how about you show me.” His signature grin forming as he pulled you into your bedroom, snapping his fingers to close the blinds and door.

Aziraphale

Aziraphale first noticed with the new protein powder, it was odd to him, and he decided he wanted to give it a try in some pancakes, thinking it was just for flavor.

“Oh, that is disgusting!” He exclaimed quietly when he took his first bite, “tastes nothing like chocolate.” He tried his best to rinse the taste from his tongue with his tea.

“Good morning, Azi,” you chimed, kissing his cheek lovingly, hardly noticing his lingering gaze as he took in your athletic wear, he almost sworn you were tempting him on purpose.

“Good morning, my dear.” He smiled, going up behind you and placing hands on your waist as his head rested on your shoulder. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you up so early before?”

“Nope,” you replied, looking back to him, “but I want to finally be good about keeping my habits, so more frequent morning runs and workouts from me, rather than once in a blue moon.” Aziraphale nodded, a smile on his face.

“Certainly commendable, I know you’ll be just fine in keeping the habit, after all, you went from occasionally reading to reading everyday.”

“I think my boyfriend being the owner of the world’s best bookshop helped in that.”

“No, darling, it was all you.” He insisted, letting you go soon after so that you could get started, he certainly wasn’t about to complain, you definitely looked nice in the athletic style. Mostly he would only see you in the early mornings, right before your run, but one late morning he found himself needing your opinion on something and so he went into the spare room, not thinking to knock before he opened the door, watching in awe as you followed the instructions on your screen, different exercises he didn’t know all the names to being performed nearly flawlessly.

“Very good, my dear,” he smiled when you took a break, “very proud of you.” He adorned you in praises as he walked over and covered you in kisses.

“Aziraphale,” you giggled, “I’m all sweaty.”

“Don’t care, wanna just love on you.”

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beautouslysandy · 1 year

Text

The Boys with a Street-smart S/O- HC’s

Request-The boys with a street-smart girlfriend please?

By-Sandy

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DARRY CURTIS-

• Darry wants to always make sure your safe, he has times where he can’t be with you when your alone. And that worries him, even though you know your way around and you grew up in this environment. I could see him finding an ounce of comfrot in knowing that you can protect yourself but that still doesn’t stop him from worrying. He tries to prevent you from having to go somewhere by yourself as much as possible which kinda irritates you but you know it’s out of love. • I feel like he would love the fact that you can kick ass but not the idea of you fighting with someone even more you getting jumped. • You aren’t the average gal, you know how to fight and you know that the world isn’t all sunshine and unicorns. Sometimes it prevents you from making female friends but you don’t crap so it’s better not to have them. • Darry likes protecting you even though you don’t need it. You and him have definitely had some arguments about the fact he acts like you need to be saved all the time. Which is where your iconic nickname for him “Superman” came from. • You have totally knocked somebody out for saying shit about Darry. • He gets his ego bruised when you do that, so annoying, but you don’t tell him so it’s your little secret that your protecting Darry every now and then • You have totally outsmarted him in the streets logic wise. As it says your street smart, while Darry is mostly book smart.

•The boys like you a lot, they have invited you to rumbles and you went once and just guess how that went over with Darry….yeah not great

SODAPOP CURTIS-

•Your his role model. He wants to be just like you it’s almost hysterical. He will pick up on things you do and say to become a better “jd/hood” in his terms. You find it adorable.

•Totally cheering for you when you are in a fight. No doubt. But once you get hit, who ever hit you is going to have more than a couple of bruises. • He doesn’t doubt for a minute that you can protect yourself, but he likes doing almost about everything with you. So if he is going with you everywhere it’s not that he doesn’t believe you can stick up for yourself its that he wants to be with you ninety nine percent of the time.

•You have definitely gone to a rumble. He strikes me as someone who would totally dig having a s/o to go beat people up with (that sounds so horrible omg). I think the fact that you know how to live life the same way he does makes you even more attractive to him.

•Definitely make out sessions after fights/rumbles.

•After your make-out session (i’m so cheesy) his first priority is for you to get all cleaned up. He loves you and doesn’t like seeing you hurt. I mean it the dude could have a deep cut on his arm and it’s bleeding out but he is still putting on your band-aid

•”Soda your blood is on the kitchen floor. Let me clean it up” You sighed in disbelief

“No..” He pauses struggling to open the band-aid “Just. Wait. One..ah there we go” He says as he puts the band-aid on precisely (definitely has his tongue out when he is really concentrating)

•Steve and you definitely get along well, the three of y’all are like the Three Musketeers. Or more like the Three Ass-Kickers

PONYBOY CURTIS-

• You and him definitely do almost everything together, you guys like similar things and you like each-other. Sounds pretty nice to me. •I feel like similar to Darry he doesn’t feel great when you stick up for him but unlike Darry (stupid darry…. just kidding. love ya dar-bear) he can admit that he appreciates it. • You and him definitely share tips and stuff, very couple goals like

• He is fine with you going to rumbles but is definitely having you stick by him the entire time or at least in his sight so that you don’t get kidnapped or whatever the dude comes up

•I feel like your street-smarts and his book smarts even eachother out. Not him helping you in school and you helping him in the streets (why does that sound weirder , whatevs)

•When you first met he definitely was shocked about how fine you were with all of the greaser things :0

• Your a greaser by far, you dig the rumbles and stuff. You probably have been to the cooler once. Ponyboy was definitely petrified (their so dramatic)

DALLAS WINSTON

• Power house couple. That’s what I have got to say. Wait no. Partners in crime. Okay sorry for the cheesy nicknames. It’s just that you and Dally are so alike which can good and bad.

•You both get pissed off if the other one is hurt. You guys workout together, he suddenly works out now. Probably because you do. •Darry and him have the same ego problem. Only Dally ego gets bruised if you stand up for yourself when your there which to be honest is expected..I mean come on guys…it literally Dallas Winston. •If someone say one thing about Dally that’s no good, happens more often than we’d like. They were gonna wish they kept it to themselves because now they have Dally and you to deal with.

•You guys are both pretty smart in the street smarts department. You guys balance each other out and to help when something goes off course.

•Dallas is a protective person. His belongings are his. And no one interferes with that rule. Then you came along (dun dun dunn) I am only playing with y’all…

• He likes that you can stand up…um actually no. He can get annoyed with the fact that most of the time you don’t even need him to lift a finger. He wants to protect you but you won’t let him which makes him angry.

• You and him argue about you going to the rumble or if your going to fight this person. He just doesn’t want to see you hurt. And he would rather him fight than you. It’s just Dally. Which is irritating at times.

JOHNNY CADE-

• Oh my lord. When y’all first met he was ready to piss in his pant. (i am hilarious…i mean come on)

•He has never seen a female who actually knows how to defend themselves. For some reason this intimidated him. •He doesn’t like seeing you hurt but also admires that you know how to stand up for yourself and those who can’t stand up for themselves, which means lil’ Johnny from time to time. •He doesn’t have an ego to bruise. I am serious it’s sad but true. The guy has zero self-confidence which equals no ego. Poor thing. • But that means that he doesn’t care if you fight somebody that was being mean to him.

•However, it might make him feel like he can’t protect you well enough. And personally I won’t wanna do that to Johnny so I advise keeping your protective girlfriend fights on the down low.

•You have met his parents on “accident”, scared the shit out of his dad. Johnny was in disbelief the whole time. His mom was speechless. • So that was fun :)

•You are like another one of Johnny’s bodyguards expect that he is your bodyguard too, when necessary.

KEITH “TWO-BIT” MATTHEWS

• Rumbles and then cartoons. Mhm. Yes I did. •Y’all are the cutest, you guys party together, beat up Socs together, and watch cartoons together. •He honestly isn’t bothered by the fact you can give a punch and then take one. To be honest, I think it’s one of his favorite things about you. • You definitely outsmart him by a long shot (im

sorry two-bit)

•You guys party together a lot but, somehow he is the one that’s drunk while your sober. You began to think it’s a personality trait of his. •You guys definitely keep score of who punched the most Socs (oh god that’s so mean) it’s a thing that’s been going on for too long.

•You’re really competitive and having Two-Bit as your s/o you are inclined to be in competition. •I mean I don’t know what else to say other than your Two-Bits dream girl

STEVE RANDLE-

• I am not sure with Steve cause he seems like someone who would love to have a s/o that’s street-smart but then he is protective and wants to protect you. •I am gonna try and see if I can get a mix of both.

•Steve protects the things he loves but he knows you don’t need any protecting but he will try to with every chance he gets.

•Steve probably will get yelled at for making you look weak, he will apologize profusely not wanting to get his ass kicked by his own s/o (not that you would ever do that)

•Definitely thinks your a queen, bow down. (okay this is just me being goofy)

• You think it’s sweet that he wants to be there for you but you always find it annoying how he will always act as your shield, like man come on

• You definitely have a handshake, after any sort of fight. • Rumbles…are the best. You always talk with Steve to not act as your personal shield during the rumble. (it’s very important you don’t look like a weakling, he understands)

•You like many outsmart him on the street smarts maybe not in cars but definitely in everything else (if you couldn’t tell, you’re very smart)

•Honestly Steve and his protectiveness gets to the better of him and will probably win him a silent treatment.

TIM SHEPARD-

• Dally copy and paste. He hates that you won’t let him stick up for you. He gets so infuriated. • He has trouble understanding why you don’t want him to protect you, when you tell him why it goes through his ear and out the other.

•Like Steve, will try his best to protect you when he can. But you don’t let it happen…ever (well almost every time)

•Tim is a guy, so like many he has an ego, so you standing up for him no no no. His rule is if you don’t let me stand up for you, you don’t get to stand up for me. Honestly even if you let him stand up for you, you would be caught dead standing up for him.

• Tim and Dally are buddies so they fight. Guys like that so compassion to the buddies through giving them a black eye or calling them an idiot and many other disrespectful names. •You have tried to stop Dally and Tim fighting….didn’t end well for anyone. • You ended up with a black eye form Dallas accidentally hitting you, Tim is very angry and puts Dallas in hospital, Tim is hurt but not like Dallas. You get silent treatment for a week. So really Tim was fine.

•It’s literally just a Dally copy and paste expect it’s Tim Shepherd only difference is one likes kids the other doesn’t. (not exactly the same but ifykyk)

CURLY SHEPARD-

• Finds your streetsmarts very very hot. Dudes like Sodapop almost, cheering you on. And all that stupid guy stuff.

•But can get jealous that he isn’t able to protect you like the other guys do with their s/o’s. (he always finds a way to be jealous)

•You notice this but don’t acknowledge it because you don’t want to have to deal with his whining (it never ends…)

•You aren’t as aggressive when he is watching though cause that equals the same amount of aggression or more from the other person(s)

•You don’t want him to be all up in your space everytime you go out to get a bite, do you?

•He isn’t protective it’s just that he is jealous

•Makes zero sense but that’s all it is.

•He is jealous that he can’t protect you.

•Your just built different

#the outsiders #the outsiders x reader #sodapop curtis #dallas winston #darry curtis #the outsiders imagine #curly shepard #tim shepard #johnny cade #ponyboy curtis #steve randle #two bit mathews

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dilemmaontwolegs · 1 year

Text

Running from the Flames {12}

Pairing: Pierre Gasly x OFC Warnings: 18+ only, media being the usual pain in the ass - this is a work of fiction and the events are not based on reality. Chapter: One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight || Nine || Ten || Eleven* || Twelve || Thirteen || Fourteen || under construction

Barcelona was as beautiful as I remembered and the weather was stunning when Pierre returned to the pit after finishing the second free practice session. Tensions were high between him and Esteban when we entered the Alpine space but Pierre gave me a kiss and told me not to worry. That was like asking me not to breathe.

I would always worry about the people I cared for.

“Mama, I’m hungry.”

“Okay, sweetheart, just wait here a second and then we’ll go out.”

Pierre was just climbing out of his seat and in a heated discussion with the technicians about the car's braking when I reached him. “No, it’s not good, I’m telling you.”

He wasn’t even looking my way but his arm opened for me before I reached him and I stepped into the hug to hear the technician apologise and promise to double check the data again.

“I’m going to take Addie to lunch, there’s a place I haven’t been to in years, they do amazing Caribbean food. Do you want me to bring you anything?”

He shook his head and brushed his hair back out of his eyes when it flopped over his face. “I would love some, but I don’t think it fits into the pre-race nutrition plan.” He pulled me closer so no one could overhear us. “There’s nothing to stop me from tasting it on your tongue when you get back though.”

“You are a dirty man, Gasly. You look so sweet but some of the things that come out of your mouth…”

“You love it.” His smirk was hidden by the curtain of my hair but I knew it was there nonetheless and I couldn’t deny it. He knew how his words affected me when we were in the throes of passion.

I rose on my tiptoes and gave him a quick peck on the lips as I answered, “You know I do. I’ll come find you when I get back.”

“Okay, be safe.”

I found Addie drawing on a copy of the race schedule Otmar had given her and promised her we would drop it in the driver’s room for Pierre on the way out. It may have looked like a bunch of scribbles to me but she had an entire story that went along with it to somehow put it into context. Even if he didn’t understand the picture he would still be happy to receive the gift.

The walk to the restaurant wasn’t far but an old ache began in my bad hip along the way and Addie had to slow her pace so I could keep up.

“Mama, hurry up!” she said, tugging my hand.

“I can’t, sweetheart.”

“Get hurt?” she asked inquisitively as she watched my slight limp.

“A long time ago.”

She frowned with concern and slowed down. “Need besos?”

I chuckled at her kindness and stopped so I could kiss the top of her head.

“Not me, you, mama.”

“But it worked, I’m feeling much better now.”

She grinned at the news that wasn’t quite true. I was feeling better but my hip wasn’t. Thankfully we had reached the restaurant that looked unusually busy.

“Crap,” I muttered to myself thinking the queue would be huge but the group of people milling about were there for another reason.

“Bri,” Lewis called out over the crowd and their heads turned my way. “Can you please let my friend through?”

They parted for him like Moses and the Red Sea and felt their stares burning a hole in my back as we walked into the restaurant. Addie rushed to his side first and he picked her up to pop her on his hip so he could keep signing items with one hand. The perks of being an uncle to his own nieces and nephews meant he was totally at ease carrying the extra weight around.

“Still coming here,” I noted when I was safely inside and he had thanked the crowd for their support and apologised that he didn’t have time to sign more autographs. “Shouldn’t you be at the practice session?”

“Came straight here from it. The gearbox was acting up so we boxed it before the practice timed out and I was starving.”

My walking had obviously slowed us down more than I thought if he had got here as quick as he did. I only hoped I got back before Pierre was off to the next pre-race weekend event the PR team had planned.

“Do you still have the pepperpot or have you expanded your palate?” I asked, knowing the answer already as we walked up to the counter to order.

“I like what I like,” he said with a laugh.

“Can I please get one vegetable pepperpot, one chicken with rice and one fried sweet plantains?” I ordered for us while Lewis took Addie to the drinks fridge and grabbed two waters and a juice box.

The older gentleman who owned the restaurant rang up the cash register and looked at me for a moment before his eyes widened. “I recognise you now,” he spoke in the local dialect with a wide grin. “It’s been a while since you last came here with Mr Hamilton, we missed your pretty face.”

“Thank you.” I blushed at the compliment and handed over more than enough cash to cover the food. “I am long overdue for your delicious food and I promise I won’t be away so long next time.”

“Good, good, it’s sad to see Mr Hamilton eat here alone each year.”

I took the change and dropped it into the tip jar beside the counter and sat down at the table Addie had chosen.

“What’s this you’re wearing now?” Lewis asked her, tapping the Alpine hat she had hung on the back of her chair.

“Pee-year gave it to me,” she said with a grin.

“Correction, you stole it from him,” I pointed out to Lewis’ amusement. “He didn’t even get half a carrot for it.”

Lewis pierced the straw into the juice box and held it just out of her reach. “How about you wear a Mercedes hat and I’ll give you this?”

“Resorting to bribery?” I teased but it didn’t work anyway as Addie shook her head adamantly and grabbed her hat with a stern, “I like this one.”

“She must really like Gasly if she’ll sacrifice her juice box for his hat,” Lewis commented. “What about you?”

“Oh, I would definitely sacrifice a juice box for his hat too.”

He laughed and sat back in his chair to stretch his long legs out under the table. “I’ve been in F1 for seventeen years now, known you since you were a pimply teen running round the paddock.”

“I didn’t have pimples!”

“That’s beside the point.”

“Tell that to my ego.”

“Okay, you were the only teen in the world who never had pimples, is that better?”

“I appreciate the lie.”

He cleared his throat and sat up a little straighter. “Are you two serious or is this just a summer thing? I’m only asking because it’s great having you back and it would suck if you left again. No one else eats anything remotely hot aside from you.”

The platters of food arrived at that moment and the aroma of spices that filled the air was mouthwatering. Addie didn’t even wait for me to dish up some food on a plate for her before she grabbed a slice of crispy plantain and yelped when it was hot.

“That’s for dessert, but only if you eat some of this first,” I said as I wiped the grease from her fingers and handed over a small plate of chicken and rice.

When I finally settled in with my own food dished up I found Lewis still waiting for an answer and I reluctantly put my fork back down. “Why is everyone so interested in my love life?”

“So it’s love huh?” he said with a grin.

I rolled my eyes and stuffed a forkful of food into my mouth so I didn’t have to entertain him with an answer. The silence was all he needed though and he stabbed at the chunky cut vegetable on his plate with a quiet laugh. “I'm happy for you, Bri.”

“I’m happy too.”

“Me too,” Addie chimed in before looking longingly at Lewis’ food until he pushed his plate closer so she could get a spoonful.

Lewis ate faster than us, constantly checking his watch before he sighed and said, “sorry ladies, I have to get back for this panel.”

“Go,” I waved him off, “she’ll still be eating for another 20 minutes at this rate.”

He swiped a sweet plantain from the plate and I couldn’t help ribbing him for the deep fried treat, “Are you allowed that much sugar and fat, Sir?”

He grinned and popped it in his mouth as he shook his head. “I won’t tell if you don’t. I’ll see you two round the paddock, stay out of trouble.”

I pretended to zip my lips before remarking to his receding figure, “I never go looking for it, it just finds me.”

His deep laugh echoed back before he disappeared out the door and the few people that had hung around the restaurant soon went with him.

My leg was aching more with the pain radiating from my hip when we started on our own way back so we took it slow and window shopped along the way.

“Pretty necklace,” Addie gushed as she pressed her nose to the display window of a jewellery store. “So shiny.”

I looked over at the diamond pendant she was eying up and shook my head before a gold chain in the next display caught my eye. “Come on my little magpie,” I said as I walked to the door and was greeted by a middle aged woman. “Can I have a look at the cross necklace?”

She was happy to unlock the display and bring out the piece, an 18k gold crucifix on a long figaro chain. I draped it over my hand and took a closer look at the detailing on the piece before holding it up to Addie. “Do you think this will suit Pierre?” I was already going to buy the item but I was glad she gave an eager nod. “I’ll take this please, and can it be gift wrapped?”

“Certainly, it won’t be a moment,” the saleswoman said as she took the necklace behind the counter and started packaging it up. While waiting, I felt my phone vibrate and saw dad had sent me three messages in quick succession.

From Dad: I love you my darling daughter but when you’re in the paddock there are always fires to be put out. From Dad: Where are you? From Dad: Brianna Valentina Vowles To Dad: 🏃🏽‍♀️🔥🔥🔥 From Dad: What the hell is that meant to be? To Dad: That’s me, running from the flames. What’s happened? From Dad: Image attached

The picture loaded and I rolled my eyes as I saw it was taken by one of Lewis’ fans while we were in the restaurant. Lewis was holding Addie while we spoke and the caption implied I was making my way ‘round the paddock in more ways than one.

From Dad: There’s no doubt they will bring this up in the interview about to start. From Dad: <link to live feed>

I opened the link and it showed an F1 interview panel with half of the drivers, the other half in the wings of the stage waiting for their turn next as was usual with so many people to interview and never enough time.

“Excuse me,” the saleswoman said quietly as she presented the gift wrapped box and opened her hand towards the eftpos machine. I barely spared her a glance as I quickly swiped my card and paid for the jewellery while keeping one eye on my phone screen. “Thank you, have a lovely day.”

“You too,” I said distractedly as I shoved the box into my handbag and took Addie’s hand to rush back to the paddock.

Most of the guys were on their phones until their attention was pulled away as the interviews got started but the camera kept panning back to Pierre and Lewis who were sitting beside each other. They were talking too low for the stage microphone to pick up but Lewis shook his head at whatever Pierre said and the tension that had been brimming eased.

“Lewis,” the male interviewer drew his attention away from Pierre and a microphone was handed over to him, “Good to see you, you’re looking well.”

“Thanks man, you too.”

“I know you guys take your pre-race diets pretty seriously in the lead up to make sure the weight in the car is optimum. I guess that’s why it was surprising to hear that you stepped out of the paddock for a date with Brianna Vowles who, for those of you who haven’t been following this, has been romantically linked to Pierre Gasly just last week.” The camera zoomed in on Lewis and Pierre as the crowd waited for a response.

Lewis held the microphone away and whispered to Pierre before replying. “Romantically linked? Is that what you call it?” He shared a laugh with Pierre and tilted the microphone over to him. “What do you have to say about that?”

“I mean it’s a little old-fashioned for me,” he said with a chuckle. “I call her my girlfriend.”

“I know I’m probably going to get an earful from the team about going to Jerk Hut but if you tried their food you’d know it’s worth a slap on the wrist,” Lewis joked and pointed knowingly to a loud cheer that went up in one corner of the crowd. “They know it too. And getting to catch up with Bri was a bonus. Ask anyone in F1 who’s been here for more than half a decade and they’ll have a story to tell about her, all good ones I assure you.

“So, Pierre,” Lewis paused as he clapped his fellow driver on the shoulder, “you should know there’s a lot of us who consider her like a little sister, and I don’t need to tell you what happens if you break her heart.”

Pierre crossed his finger over his heart and promised in front of thousands of fans, “no heartbreaking here.”

We had just reached the Paddock Pass entrance and I scanned my card before stepping into one of the many tents set up for shade so I could quickly text my dad and we could both rest our legs after the fast pace Addie had set trying to get back to see Pierre and Poppa Otty.

To Dad: Put the fire extinguisher away, old man, they had it under control. From Dad: Ok, he’s more mature than I gave him credit for. Why don’t you come over for dinner tonight? Pierre too. To Dad: It’s team dinner tonight, why don’t you come with us? From Dad: I’ll give Otmar a call now.

I closed the chat with dad and opened the one with Pierre.

To Pierre: Where are you? From Pierre: Just finished the panel, heading back to the pit now. Did you see the interview? Where are you? To Pierre: I did. I’m sorry you got blindsided by that but I got a gift for you. I’m five minutes away. From Pierre: I don’t need gifts when I have you. To Pierre: Keep saying sweet things like that and I’ll give you something else too babe. From Pierre: Merde. Now I need another ice bath.

I snorted aloud and pulled my cap down lower over my face as a few people turned to the sound. If only they knew how dirty my boyfriend could be, then they would be flushing too.

Click here for chapter thirteen.

Tagging: @my-only-way-tocooperatewithlife

#pierre gasly x poc!oc #pierre gasly fanfic #pierre gasly x oc #f1 rpf #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #formula one fanfiction #platonic!lewis Hamilton

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ouatsqincorrect · 8 months

Note

I’m intrigued to hear your thoughts/headcanons on Regina and Leopold’s “marriage” and what exactly it was like for everyone involved eg. Snow, Cora, Henry Sr, ofc Regina and etc. I went way too deep into a thought-spiral myself about it and the more I dwell on it, the more pain I feel for Regina. Given the tiny heartbreaking pieces of insight we’re given about her life as Leopold’s wife in flashbacks, just imagine the crap she had to go through that we didn’t even get to see onscreen.

honestly, i think if ouat hadn’t been a “family show,” regina’s story would’ve been even more depressing because yeah, there is so much we just didn’t get to see but was hinted at and i—

give this poor woman a break. anyway.

one thing that always really bothered me about snow is that it seems like no one ever sat her down and told her that her father was regina’s abuser, so she brings him up when she shouldn’t (like the idea that she was going to name baby neal “leopold.” i mean. can you imagine the amount of shit that would’ve brought up for regina.)

which is why, in my mind, snow and regina actually do sit and down and have that conversation at some point

archie’s the one who suggests it when snow mentions leopold and it causes regina to go into a full blown panic attack. she tells him about this in a session and he tells her the only way she’s going to be able to stop this is by letting snow know that it makes her uncomfortable

which regina really doesn’t like. she’s never had any intention of telling snow the truth about all of that. and honeslty, i think this has always been the case, even when she was the evil queen

she’d rather snow live in a blissful world were her father was actually a good guy, then be the one to tell her that no, he was actually a really, really shitty human being

maybe because regina knows what it’s like to have a parent who lets you down

and when she has to have that conversation with snow, she’s terrified. she has herself convinced that she’s going to lose everyone (snow, emma, henry, etc.) because of it

but emma assures her that it won’t happen like that because this is snow white we’re talking about and despite being given many chances to walk out regina’s life for good, she never has

snow is upset, to say the least, when she finds out but it’s not for the reasons regina thinks. i mean, yes, she’s hurt to find out her father was a piece of shit but she’s more hurt to find out regina had to go through what she did, and to find out that maybe daniel wasn’t the whole reason as to why the evil queen wanted to kill her for so long

ultimately, she tells regina simply “you’re my family now. not him.” and that’s that. snow may be an idiot at times but she does care for those she loves fiercely and regina is one of those people

(which by the way, quick side note, david has always had a bit more of an understanding as to who snow’s father really was. he can read between the lines and he actually noticed all the times regina would flinch when snow mentioned her father’s name. he’s actually grateful when snow and regina finally talk about it, because it’s always been an elephant in the room)

regina knows cora is the reason she was forced to be in that marriage, and yeah, she’s found ways to forgive her but that relationship will always be tainted because of it. it makes things like mother’s day and cora’s birthday all that much harder for regina

she can also admit that her father didn’t help things. henry sr loved her immensely, but he was also a coward who stood by and let regina get abused by multiple different people (cora, leopold, rumple). he even admitted to this in the underworld, at least in terms of cora

but regina forgives him easily because even though he never tried to stop it, he was also the only person who held her and was there for her after the king would do what he wanted to her

at the end of the day, this is something regina tried really hard to just forget. but it does come back and hit her hard and that’s why conversations, like the one she has with snow, have to happen

there are a few days out of the year that really bring back those feelings in full swing (the anniversary of her wedding night, etc.) and her family is aware of when these days are and how to help regina handle them

usually it involves her and emma staying home from work, watching shitty movies david and zelena suggest, and eating a casserole snow made (the one thing snow makes that regina doesn’t complain about—actually she loves it)

also, regina isn’t fragile. she’s not broken. but she is trying to heal and when there aren’t villains to fight every single day, there’s more time for her to think over those things from her past

and it’s a real fucking journey

#regina mills #once upon a time #ouat #headcanons #tw abuse #tw rape

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ilyasorokinn · 1 year

Text

(day two) christmas pup , nick blankenburg

note, this fic is part of my christmas series called taylor's very merry christmas series. check out this masterlist for the rest of the series. pair, nick blankenburg x reader summary, nick knows the only thing y/n wants is a dog, so he decides to surprise her with a dog for christmas. warnings, none word count, 1093 words

(gif not mine)

Nick watched you play with one of the guy's dogs. There was a dog shoot, and you insisted on coming so you could play with all the dogs.

Growing up, you didn't have any dogs. Your mother was allergic so having a dog in the house was a big no-no. So, the closest thing you had to a pet was a goldfish named

"Why don't you guys have a dog yet?" Kent asked, waiting to take his turn with his own dog.

"Felt like such a big step." Nick shrugged, "But, I think we're ready for that."

"Well, yeah. I mean, she did move states for you." Kent reminded his friend.

“I think it’s time for the next step.” He nodded, watching as all the puppies climbed into your lap.

"Whoa, you're not talking about marriage, are you?" Kent asked him abruptly.

"No." Nick rolled his eyes, "I'm talking about a dog."

"Do you know what dog she wants?"

"Yeah, it's the only thing we ever talk about." He chuckled to himself, "She wants a pitbull."

"That sounds like Y/N." Kent smiled.

"Yeah, so if you have a dog person, let me know." Nick nudged Kent.

"I gotcha." Kent whipped out his phone.

As Christmas approached, Nick was getting more and more excited. He could barely contain himself as he finally picked up the puppy, your puppy.

He asked Kent to watch the dog until Christmas, who gladly accepted the task. Kent kept the dog in his care for a couple of days before Nick was bringing her home.

He left early Christmas morning to pick up the dog and put her in the extra bedroom where she could play around and sort of get a feel for her new home.

A few hours after, you were waking up, completely oblivious to what Nick had done before you were even awake. You heard him making noise in the kitchen, which was what woke you up, to begin with.

You made your way down the hall, again completely oblivious to the dog in the guest bedroom who must've been asleep due to the fact that she wasn't making any noise.

You popped your head into the doorway, spotting him swaying to the soft music as he cooked the eggs. He hadn't realized you were watching him until he turned around to grab something from the fridge.

"Holy crap!" He exclaimed, clutching his chest as he jumped. You only smiled more, making your way further into the kitchen and wrapping your arms around his waist, "How long were you standing there?"

"Long enough to know that you are a big Adele fan."

"What can I say? She's just so good." He shrugged.

"I'm not judging." You smiled, "Merry Christmas." You sighed happily.

"Merry Christmas." He smiled, leaning down and pressing a kiss to your lips. When he pulled away, he quickly went back to tend to his eggs while you grabbed plates and cups.

You ate your breakfast and talked about plans for after your gift session. You finished your breakfast and quickly cleaned up and grabbed some last-minute presents, then slipped them under the tree.

You waited in front of the tree, taking some pictures as you waited for Nick to finish whatever he was doing. He came out with a big box and placed it at the back of the tree.

"That one you open last." He told you.

You narrowed your eyes at him, trying to decipher what he was doing, but went along with it, "This one." You handed him the first box.

After you opened all the boxes, you reached for the last box he had placed behind the tree, "Wait, not yet." He quickly stopped you and whipped out his phone and propped it up against the coffee table.

You raised a brow at him, "You recording me now?"

"Yeah." He nodded, "Okay, open it." He gave you the "okay" once the computer was recording.

You carefully opened the box and almost burst into tears when you saw what was in the box, "Nicholas." You gasped. He kept his eyes on you as he watched for every single reaction.

"Is that a good "Nicholas"?" He asked.

"It's the best "Nicholas"." You set the box aside and tackled him into a hug, leaping into his arms and knocking him to the ground.

He laughed as he landed on the ground, his arms around you as you hugged him, straddling his lap, "Is it...?"

"She's all your's." He nodded, a big bright smile on his face.

You pulled away from him, pulling back so you could pick up the dog and meet her. She sniffed your hand a couple times before finally coming to the conclusion that you weren't a threat.

She settled in your lap and it was love at first sight, for both you and the dog. You looked over at Nick, "You suck!"

"What?!" He looked surprised as he raised his hands in surrender.

"You just had to one-up me." You playfully glared.

"I didn't mean to. It just happened." He defended, "So, what're you gonna name her?"

"i don't know. This is all happening too fast. I haven't had proper time to think about it." Your eyes darted around, panicked.

"You've been dreaming of this moment since you were like 10, and you haven't thought about a name?"

"Now is not the time to be judgmental." You side-eyed him as you wracked your brain for a name. It took a couple minutes, and in that time, you cooed over your new dog.

When the name finally hit you, it was like a lightbulb had gone off in your brain. It wasn't anything spectacular or anything mindblowing, but the name had been something you wanted to name a future pet, whenever you got it, and your new dog's name fit perfectly.

"Luna." You stated.

"Luna?" Nick asked and you nodded, "All right, Luna it is." He reached over and scratched behind Luna's ears, "Welcome to the family, Luna. You're gonna love it. But I gotta say, my one rule is no sleeping in our bed."

"Don't listen to him. He's being mean." You glared at Nick, "When he's gone, we'll cuddle and you can sleep on his side."

Nick's jaw went slack, "Oh, come on." He scoffed, "You've known her for less than 30 minutes, and already I feel that I am going to be the third wheel in this relationship."

"And you'd be right." You nodded, "You walked yourself into this one, Blankenburg."

"I know." He nodded.

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sapphic-woes · 2 years

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It's Halloween. Vampire!Ambessa.

To serve your vampire queen Ambessa is considered the greatest honor. You were chosen out of thousands to be one of her delicacies, and you couldn't be more proud.

However, first you had to prepare. You were the newest of a handful of ladies chosen to serve the queen as her living meals and treats. To keep up with your queen's...demands, you had to be perfect.

For months you are given the sweetest fruits and richest meat, overall a surplus of nutrients. Your blood would eventually nourish, so you had to be nourished–and everyday, you dined as a king would.

You had to be healthy when served to Ambessa, fit unlike anyone else in your kingdom. You were made to train with the other delicacies as if you were her personal dancer rather than food, drilled until you are the pinnacle of good health.

Delicacies had to be enticing, and so being pampered was a given. You were provided a whole team of people dedicated to making sure your individual beauty shined. You were given expensive and grueling beauty sessions regularly, until you found yourself absolutely stunning.

Of course, you had to dress the part. Your clothes provided easy access to your queen's preferred points of feasting. You smelled of lilac and honey, sweet so that your queen always had a pleasant feeding experience.

Now, after ages of work, you are ready.

The queen liked to have each new delicacy individually in the beginning. You would attend to her every craving for the first week, alone. Ambessa did this to ease each new delicacy into their new role, and feel comfortable with her sooner rather than later.

So, with an anxious mind, you went to answer the call of your queen for the first time.

"Enter." You stepped into the dark room with a tiny swallow. You stood at the door, flinching when it slammed shut behind you. For ages you had thought of this moment and what you would do before your queen. You knew what you were supposed to do at least, knees sinking onto the floor as you bowed until your forehead touched the ground.

"My queen, might I offer myself to you today?" It was only for a beat of time, yet it felt like eons before a deep voice responded.

"You may." Thank the gods.

You rose, finally able to look at the shadow of your queen. Ambessa was hard to see in the darkness around you. She was but a haunting silhouette of intimidating power, red eyes gleaming as she watched your every move. The shape of her head tilted, regarding you.

"Poor thing, you're shaking." Were you? You looked down at your hands, gasping when you noticed your fingers quivering. Crap, you were!

"I-I apologize my–"

"Hush, it is the first time. Fear is to be expected." The bed creaked as Ambessa moved, coming out of the dark space she sat in to let the moonlight reveal her face. You sucked in a sharp breath, heart skipping a beat.

"There's nothing to be afraid of, my dear. Now...come. Are you not eager to show me all you've learned?" She is...a beauty.

You knew she was large, most vampires were, but she was bigger than any you'd seen before. Her body was vast, littered with scars of battle and war. As you came closer, you couldn't help but flush at her nakedness, and the blood rushing to your face only enticed her more. Her plush red lips spread to reveal her fangs, and she smiled, raising an eyebrow as she murmured.

"Blushing already?" The attention had your rouge cheeks darkening, and Ambessa laughed. She reached out to you, but only to offer her hand, claws glistening like crystals. "If mere gazing is enough to do this, how will you survive the night?"

"Forgive me, my queen." You whispered, taking her hand to brush your lips against her rough knuckles, "but this is the first I have ever seen of you. I am but a commoner from the countryside, and..." Ambessa hummed, large palms shifting to pull you into her lap.

"And?" Now, you could feel the vibration of her voice as she spoke. Sitting upon her healthy thighs made your stomach twist, the cold skin tingling against your heat. Your eyes shamelessly roamed over her chest and muscular arms, though Ambessa clearly didn't mind. Your next words were full of awe, and your queen's dead heart soared.

"I have never seen a vampire as...mesmerizing as you before. I am grateful you are the one I am offering my blood to, my queen." Ambessa's lips curled into a soft smile.

"Am I that beautiful to you?" At your nod, her lips spread wider, "thank you, my dear." Your queen brushed her icy fingers against your cheek, watching you shiver. Her next words were a gentle, yet commanding murmur.

"...Show me where." You knew what she meant.

It was time for the first bite. Ambessa always allowed delicacies to choose where that would be, as a sign of respect for the role they had accepted. The mark of the first bite never left, and it's scar served as a reminder to you and a warning to anyone who dared to touch you.

That she had claimed your body as her own.

Now you swallowed, tentatively moving in her lap until you could hike up your dress. Once your thighs and hips were exposed, you gathered the courage to speak up.

"My queen, I would ask that you drink from me...here." Your fingers pointed to your right inner thigh, and the vampire before you smirked.

"Are you sure about that, my dear? For the very first bite, it can be quite painful." You bit your bottom lip, thinking one last time before nodding.

"I am. Though I, um, i-if it is not a burden–" Your breath faltered as cold lips brushed over your shoulder, and Ambessa spoke.

"You needn't fear, I'll be gentle. Now, lay on your back my sweet." You nodded, grateful for her soft tone as you laid down on the bed before her.

"Spread your legs for me darling." The crude words were said so kindly it gave you whiplash, yet still you parted your thighs with a reddening face. Ambessa didn't hide the lust in her stare, humming in approval. Of course, you had no undergarments on–Ambessa had no need for them on her delicacies–and so your wet folds were completely exposed to your queen.

"Beautiful..." Ambessa breathed, sinking down as she grasped your thighs. "This warmth...and this blood..." You shuddered as she kissed your sensitive skin, suckling the inner part of your thighs. She didn't bite down yet, only nibbling with her fangs instead.

Ambessa was focused on making this moment as delicious to you as it would be to her, pleasuring each of your thighs as she inched up to your dewy folds. Eventually, her cool breath tickling you was the only warning you had before she finally tasted you. You moaned, gasping as her tongue skillfully unraveled your burning core. You cried out as Ambessa had you to her hearts content. She was relentless, and soon the once silent room was full of your keening mewls and whimpers.

Suddenly, just as you felt you would soon hit your peak, she pulled away, lips moving back to your right thigh. You wanted to protest when she halted, but quickly the reason why was revealed.

"Look at me, my sweet." You looked down to red eyes more vibrant than ever. The moonlight made her look otherworldly, like a predator about to pounce on her prey. Ambessa heaved, body shining with a thin glean of sweat, and the tip of her fangs moved down to drag across your skin.

The action created a thin, clear line of blood on your thigh, and you watched as Ambessa slowly dragged her tongue back over the wound, keeping eye contact with you. The possessive gleam in her eyes made you tremble, and this time the reaction only made her lips curl up even more.

"Mm...perhaps it is good to be a little scared, it does make the blood all the more sweeter..." Before you could say a word, pain and pleasure shot through your body, and you gasped as Ambessa bit down, fervently drinking your blood.

It was warm, and it was messy. You could feel your blood dripping down your thigh and staining the sheets below. Fire coursed through your body, sending you over the edge to finally reach your peak. You gripped the bed to steady yourself only to have Ambessa grab your hips and drag you closer, taking deeper gulps of your sweet blood.

You wept from the pain, you moaned out as you came–you were thrown into a violent storm of pain and ecstasy, unable to think under the continuous waves of both. All you could process was a calloused hand intertwining with your shivering own, comforting you throughout the ordeal. You held it tight, and you hung onto the voice of your queen as your vision began to fade, words loving as darkness overtook you.

"You did so well for me love, you worked hard. Rest now..."

#ambessa x reader #arcane ambessa #ambessa medarda #arcane x reader #arcane headcanon #yall this spiraled i bsed the end #but like i rlly liek this concept...#Ambessa's delicacy.... like purr

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miss-shawdowsinger · 1 year

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Soothing Darkness - Azriel X reader fanfic

Chapter 6

Summary: the aftermath or the party the night before and happy solstice.

Warnings: swearing

AN: Hello everyone! I hope you are still enjoying reading this fic. Please let me know what you think so far!! I love this chapter, definitely more one on one time with Az so enjoy ❤️

Chapter 1

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The next morning you felt like your head had been caved in by a rock. You couldn’t remember how much wine you had to drink but you were paying the price for it this morning. Emeire had softly woken you up, but you just growled at her. She resorted to dragging your limp body out of bed. Refusing to open your eyes, as your body hit the cold wooden floor.

“We have training in ten minutes” she prodded you until one of your eyes opened. The light from the morning sun burnt through your skull and you quickly closed it again. “Fine, I tried. Don’t come crying to me when Cassian drags your ass out there in your nightgown” she huffed as she marched out the door.

You stayed on the floor for another minute contemplating the thought before dragging yourself from the floor. Your head felt like lead as you went to the washroom and got ready. Every movement had your brain rattling against your skull. Surely if you are thins hungover, you must have been drunk last night. Maybe so drunk that you imagined how a certain Illyrian made you feel whilst dancing together.

The alcohol. That was the reason you got flustered. Not Azriel.

You pulled on your boots and made your way down the long hallway to the training rings. Who in their right minds has training the day after a party? The ice cold, winter air struck you as soon as you stepped out of the warm house. Your body instantly protested, begging you to return back inside.

There were already a couple of priestesses waiting around the ring, Emerie and Gwyn were also amongst the group. If you snuck back in now and hid until training was over, no one would know. No one had seen you yet and Emerie could just say that I was too hungover to join. But it was too late…

“Y/N” Emerie called your name, waving you over to join them. You crossed your arms over your chest and clenched your hands in your armpits for any warmth they could offer. Taking a deep sigh, you strode over to meet your friends. “Decided to join then?” Emerie laughed at your unamused face.

“I feel like death is hanging over me” you slumped to the floor in the middle of the training ring. Not caring that the ground was slightly wet from the rain during the night. The two girls couldn’t control their laughter.

“Morning” Cassian’s voice rose above the small chatter. You didn’t have the energy to look up to see him. “Lets get started, shall we” he clapped his hands together, the noise so loud it made your temples ache.

You tucked your knees up to your chest and buried your face in them. The only sound was of the wind and the other priestesses taking up positions around the ring. Taking deep breaths you pleaded with the mother, you will never drink a drop of alcohol again if she would take this damn hangover away. She didn’t answer.

“Feeling fragile?” a soft deep voice asked. You raised your head slightly to see Azriel, he was crouched down in front of you. Smiling. Of course, he found your pain amusing. There was not one hair out of place on his head. His leatherers were pristine and his eyes were bright and full of life. You must have looked like crap in comparison. With a groan, you buried your face again. “Come on, I’ll go easy on you” you could hear his smirk even if you weren’t looking at him.

“Liar” you murmured into you knees. Waiting for a second, you raised your head, hoping that he had given up on you and walked off to begin his session. As you opened your eyes you found him still crouched in front of you. His head slightly tilted, his forearms resting on his thighs.

It wasn’t just the alcohol.

You felt your heart begin to beat loudly against your ribcage as his hazel eyes met yours. His damn half smile made you shiver. He held out his hand to you. Your hand moved to meet his without you asking it too. He pulled you up from your sitting position on the floor, eyes still locked with yours as you stood before him.

Azriel tilted his head towards the three priestesses, stood waiting for you. You sighed heavily as you looked over to them, they had already started their stretches. About to take a step towards the group you realised you still held onto his hand. Quickly you released your grip on him, hoping he hadn’t read into it too much. A small blush of embarrassment darkened your cheeks. Turning on your heels away from him, you made your way over to the group. Acutely aware of the wet patch on your trousers from where you had been sat on the ground.

But he hadn’t dropped your hand either.

Azriel did not go easy on you. Not one bit. He had you working on your footwork and strengthening exercises. Squats, sprints, push ups. Name it and he made you do it. Your body was not your friend, threatening to spew your guts up each time you ran out of breath. The cold air made every movement even more excruciating. Your muscles tensed up, trying to cling onto as much heat as it possibly could.

Even the meanest scowl you could muster was not conveying how much you resented Azriel in those moments. His face back to it’s usual mask of no emotions as he made you complete each exercise until you had delivered it perfectly. You collapsed at the end of the session.

“Thank the mother that’s over” you swore as Gwyn looked over you. You were laid on the floor, catching your breath.

“It did look intense” Gwyn snorted. “Cassian had us all working on mind stilling for the majority of our session” you narrowed your eyes at her, then gave a rude gesture to Azriel’s back. “Here” Gwyn gestured to the glass of water in her hand. You sat up and took it gratefully.

The only saving grace about today, was that it was your day off. You could go home, get a warm bath and sleep for the rest of the day. The thought made you sigh as you waited for Cassian to finish his convocation with a group of priestesses before taking you home. You didn’t even want to wait around to have lunch, your bed was calling out your name and all you wanted to do was answer.

“I’ll see you in an hour” the voice broke you from your daydream. Azriel now stood next to Gwyn, looking down at you again. You opened your mouth to speak but before you could he strode off. Covering your face with both of your hands, you could have cried. Your days off were usually spent doing extra practise with Azriel. But it wasn’t a rule, you didn’t have to do it. It was just something to do in your spare time but there was no arguing with him as he strode off.

“Good luck” Gwyn patted your shoulder as she and the others excused themselves from the table. You had barley eaten anything at lunch. Each bite you took made you want to be sick. You gave her a half smile before pushing yourself up.

You made your way to the training rings for the second time that day. Azriel was already stood waiting for you. “Feeling any better?” his smirk was visible from the other side of the ring.

“No” you gritted your teeth. “I’m glad you find it so funny” you came to stand beside him.

“Next lesson. No matter how sick or injured you are, that won’t make your rival go easier on you” you rolled your eyes at him.

“Thanks for the tip. Can I go now?” you grunted.

“Pick up a wooden sword and when you complete three exercises, I’ll take you home” you narrowed your eyes at him, you hadn’t moved onto swords yet. He gestured to the wooden swords in front of you. Begrudgingly you picked one up. The weight of it shocked you but you didn’t let it show on your face.

“Good. I’m going to show you three movements and I want you to copy them” he took up his stance. “One” he sliced his sword upwards in a swift, easy movement. “That will cut your rival open from navel to sternum, try it”.

You copied what Azriel had just shown you. The weight of the sword making your movement sloppy and unbalanced. You wobbled slightly, stumbling to the side to catch yourself before you fell over.

“Keep your feet at shoulders width” he demonstrated. You tried it again, widening your stance. The second attempt was no better then the first. “You are holding yourself wrong. You need to shift your balance to make up for the weight of the sword” Azriel instructed.

On the fifth attempt of it going wrong, you threw the sword to the floor. “I can’t, this is useless” you practically shouted as you looked out to the city of Velaris below. All you wanted was to go to sleep, you had three exercises standing in your way and you couldn’t even do the first one.

You took in deeps breaths and counted to ten before you turned to face Azriel. Who, surprisingly hadn’t said anything about your small outburst. He was stood with his arms crossed over his chest. His face unreadable as he looked between you and the sword on the floor. A silent command to pick it up.

You debated throwing the sword over the mountain but there were plenty of others Azriel would make you use instead. Slowly, you bent down, picked up the sword and got into position again.

“Here, let me show you” you almost huffed, he had shown you the movement three times now. Showing you again, wouldn’t make a difference. But instead of demonstrating it again, he came to stand behind you. His arms wrapped around you as he placed his hands over yours, gripping the sword tightly.

His chest was pressed up against your back. His heat radiating into your body. You swallowed hard, trying to ignore the feeling of his muscled body embracing your smaller frame. His shadows started to encircle around your neck and arms.

He lightly tapped his foot against your calves. “Widen your stance slightly” he spoke softly. His lips were right next to your ear. You felt his hot breath on the nape of your neck. A shiver ran down your spine, but you did as he asked. Each steady breath he took sent a warm trail down your neck.

Azriel completed the movement slowly, moving your body with his own. “Here. This is where you are losing balance” he released one of his hands from the hilt of the sword and moved it to your hip. His hands gripped it slightly, which nearly sent your knees buckling. “Keep your hip back and in line with your torso or the weight of the sword will tip you over” he drew your hip back slightly into the correct position. You swallowed hard before he continued with the movement. He kept his hand firmly placed on your hip as you sliced the sword upward. “Good, now try again” he whispered in your ear.

You turned your head slightly as he held you in place. His face only centimetres away from your own. You were both sharing the same breath and his hazel eyes met yours. He didn’t flinch away from your gaze. The winters cold air unable to control the heat rampaging through your entire body. If it wasn’t for his strong arms wrapped around you, you swore you would have fallen over.

His lips were slightly parted, and his throat bobbed. All it would take was for his head to tip down slightly and his lips would be on yours. It was almost as if he had read your thoughts because he suddenly cleared his throat and released his grip on you. His body stepping away from yours. The cold crashed into you like a tidal wave.

Your chest tightened. All your thoughts came flooding to you as you got back into position.

Elain. He likes Elain. You saw how they looked at each other. You’ve just embarrassed yourself. Keep your cool, act like nothing happened. He is your trainer, nothing more. Get over it.

The thoughts powered you on. Frustration aimed at yourself pulled you together to perform the first movement, almost perfectly. Slicing upwards in one swift movement.

“Good. Again” Azriel stood a couple feet away from you now. His arms crossed over his chest and face unreadable. His shadows curled around him more than usual, but you ignored him as you performed the movement again.

It had been over an hour but you had finally grasped each of the three movements. Azriel, had stayed a few feet away from you for the rest of the session. Luckily, once you found your balance point, with the added weight of the sword, the next two movements were easier to follow.

Your whole body trembled as you placed the heavy sword down. The lack of food and sleep had taken its toll on you. Your stomach was now growling and your headache had cleared. Small beads of sweat rolled down your brow as you cooled off. You kept your eye contact with Azriel to a minimum, making sure to only glance at him whilst he was demonstrating something.

Silence fell over the both of you as you finished your stretches and sipped on a glass of water. Usually the silence between the two of you was comfortable but you could cut the tension with a knife. You both stood next to one another, leaning against the wall, whilst taking long drinks from your glasses. You stared at your feet. Not daring to look at the Illyrian, who’s wings nearly brushed your arm.

“Any plans for winter solstice?” Azriel’s deep voice broke through the silence.

“Not really” you admitted, finally looking up at him. His hazel eyes met yours but there was a sadness behind them. “You?”.

“We are just doing what we do every year” a small smile tugged at his lips. “Go to Rhys and Fayre’s, exchange gifts, eat and drink until we all pass out. Then Cass, Rhys and I have our solstice tradition”.

“Do I dare ask what it is?” you returned his smile. The tension that was there a second ago seemed to float away on the wind.

“Definitely not” he laughed, tilting his head back slightly.

“That sounds nice though” you bit your bottom lip. Trying to dispel any hint of sorrow in your voice. You used to spend solstice with your mum. She would cook you an amazing dinner and you would exchange presents before taking a walk around Velaris to see all the lights and merry music. Since she had died you hadn’t celebrated it at all. You had no one to go to, the only tradition you kept is the walk through Velaris in the evening. It was the only part of Solstice you still enjoyed.

Azriel seemed to sense the shift in your manner. No matter how hard you tried to stop it. “Who will you be spending it with?” he asked softly.

“Just me” you put on a fake smile, his brow narrowed. “I don’t mind” you said quickly before he got a chance to say anything. You knew how lonely and sad it sounded. “I quite like it really, I go for a walk in the evening and listen to the music playing down the street. Cooking for one is so much easier then cooking for a houseful” you suspected he saw straight through your façade but if he did, he didn’t say anything.

Once Azriel had dropped you off at home you ate a pile of pastries and soaked in a hot bath before collapsing in a heap on your bed. You had fallen asleep at 5pm and not woken until 8am the next day. The rest of the week ran smoothly, running up to winter solstice. No more hangovers and training was going well.

It was the morning of winter solstice and a fresh snow had covered the cobbled streets outside your window. Training wasn’t on this morning or the next, Cassian had made it very clear that it was his only days off in the year. There were three gifts that you had in the corner of your room. You had exchanged them with Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie the day before at training. It had taken all your will to wait until solstice morning to open them.

You opened the first small box from Gwyn. Inside was a small bottle of lavender bubble bath. You had mentioned a couple days ago that Gwyn always seemed to smell of lavender, even after she had sweated through training.

The second present was from Emerie. Three books were wrapped together. Romantic novels that she had recommended for lonely nights. You scanned the blurbs before moving to the third and final box.

Nesta had gifted you the earrings to match the necklace she had gotten you for the ball. A small note inside read ‘You can’t go without a matching set’. You laughed at the small note before putting the earrings on your dresser.

You began prepping your winter solstice dinner. Cutting up the vegetables, seasoning them just how you liked. The small chicken you bought from the butchers would last you a full week. You placed it all in the oven and started a small fire to sit in front of. Grabbing the first book on the small pile that Emerie had gifted you, you began reading whilst waiting for your meal to cook.

After a couple hours, and a few smut scenes later in your book, you sat down to eat your meal. You used the same recipes that your mother used to use. It brought you comfort as you sat watching the fire crackle, drinking a whole bottle of wine to yourself. It had grown dark outside by the time you had finished your meal and washed the dishes.

You pulled your big winter coat on, along with your hat and gloves. It was time for your walk and you could already hear the faint sound of the music playing from the heart of Velaris. As you were pulling your boots on you heard a loud knock at the front door. You furrowed your brow in confusion. Who the hell could that be?

Tentatively, you made your way down the stairs and to the front door. The silhouette flooding through the door gave no indication of who it was, just that they were tall and broad. You unlocked and slowly opened the door. The males back was turned to you, though he had wings held tightly behind him. His blue siphons gleamed on the back of his hands.

“Azriel?” your croaked out, realising you hadn’t spoken all day. He turned to face you, his cheeks flushed.

“Hi” he looked you up and down. “Are you going out?” he asked noticing your coat.

“I was about to go for my walk” you blinked, still not quite believing that he was stood on your doorstep.

“Right” he nodded. “I’ll leave you to it” he went to turn around and leave.

“You can join me if you want?” the words flooded out of your mouth before you had fully thought them through. There must be some reason why he had appeared at your doorstep on winter solstice. His hazel eyes met yours.

“Are you sure?” he asked. You nodded, a small smile appeared on his lips. “Lead the way”.

The two of you walked at a leisurely pace, following the sound of the music until you made it to the centre of Velaris. The streets were alive with faeries dancing and singing. The decorative lights illuminated the streets with hundreds of different colours. A band played in the centre of a small square. The music upbeat and merry as you stood and watched them. You couldn’t help the smile that graced your face as you let the music flow through you.

It was nice to have company on your walk again, for the last two solstices you had gone on your own. Yes, it had been lonely, but you felt closer to your mother somehow. Hoping that she was somehow with you as you wondered the snowy streets of your home city.

“I can see why you like doing this” Azriel bent down to say in your ear. You looked up to him, there was a slight spark in his eye. His smile brightly matched yours as you both watched the band play. The smell of pine and cinnamon filled the air. There was children playing in the snow, laughing as they created a small snowman.

As the band finished their first set you carried on walking, Azriel keeping in step by your side. The two of you walked side by side along the sidra. It’s blue waters reflecting the lights from the city and the stars above.

“I thought you had plans today?” you finally asked. Breaking from the previous convocation you were having about who would win in a fight. Nesta or Cassian. You had definitely sided with Nesta saying that you would rather fight Cassian then her. Azriel had only laughed, listing off all the battles Cassian had fought it. He still hadn’t changed your mind.

“I do. Sometimes dinner can get a bit heated, especially when alcohol is involved. I tend to try and stay out of it” he smirked and came to a stand still on the bridge that crossed the river. He lent against the wall, looking over the edge to the Sidra that ran below. You took a place beside him, watching the water flow out to the sea. “I also had one more gift to give out” he pulled out a parcel from the shadows that gathered around his hand and handed it to you. “Happy solstice”.

You blinked down at the parcel that now laid in your hands. “I didn’t get you anything” your chest tightened.

“I didn’t expect you to” Azriel smiled sweetly at you. His hazel eyes met yours as his cheeks went a slightly darker shade of red. “Open it” he gestured to the gift.

Carefully you unwrapped the present. Illyrian leathers, just like the ones that Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn wore to training. You gasped slightly holding them up to your body. “Thank you, they are beautiful” before your brain could register what you were doing, you had flung your arms around Azriel’s neck. Embracing him in a tight hug. You cringed as for a split second, as he didn’t hug you back. You were about to step away and apologise when his arms folded round your waist embracing you tightly back.

After a long minute you stepped back and out of his arms. Thankful for the warmth they had briefly offered you. He cleared his throat “They will keep you warm during training, especially through winter”.

“Thank you” you repeated. Suppressing the smile that he had given you once again. There was a long silence as you looked at one another. His beautiful face, shone perfectly in the lights from the city. You could feel the heat rising through your body, but you quickly shook it off, breaking eye contact and carrying on walking. “So who would win out of you and Cassian”.

“Definitely me” he scoffed. You had never seen him so at ease with the world as he was in this moment. His shoulders were relaxed, his face was bright and his smile was one of beauty. You wished he would smile more often. Both of you walked slowly the rest of the way back to your shop. Talking about anything that came to mind before you reached your front door.

“Thank you again for the present and for the company” you said as you opened the door.

“My pleasure, thank you for letting me join” he nodded to you with an easy smile. “I better get back to the chaos but I’ll see you in training” he bowed to you.

“Happy solstice” you nodded as you stepped into the shop, closing the door behind you. You heard a strong gust of wind from behind the door as Azriel took off, flying into the night sky.

You stared down at the Illyrian leathers he had gifted you before hugging them closer to your chest. He got you a gift. You felt bad for not getting him one, you should have done after all the help he had given you. It didn’t matter, you told yourself. He had still come to visit you on solstice. For once you hadn’t felt so alone and it was because of him.

Your heartbeat quickly as a rush of excitement flooded you. You couldn’t wait to try the leathers on.

Chapter 7

#acotar #acotar fandom #acotar fanfiction #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel x you #batboys

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reds-fluff-extravaganza · 3 months

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Uramichi Omota x reader

Reader works in the merch/marketing department. Requested over on ao3!

You work in the marketing department of the studio, so of course you see all the designs and such for merchandise. However, one merchandise design in particular caught both you and Kikaku’s eye, but not in a very good way. When you saw it, you both looked at each other, then back at it, then back at each other. And when you found out who the original designer was, that made things a little easier for you two.

However, one thing led to another, and you walked into the room to let Kikaku know that you were about to leave, and you found that he had Uramichi tied up to a chair with one arm free. You had to take a moment to process what you were seeing, looking back between both boys.

“Kikaku.��

“Yes?”

“Why is he tied up?”

“Okay, so, do you remember when we found out who designed that thing we were supposed to make a crap ton of?”

“Yeah?”

“Well! Turns out, he works right here in this same studio! I called him over here and well, thats that. So if you could… keep an eye on him for me, that would be great!” Before you object to this, however, he was already walking out the door.

“Wha-?! Don’t leave us here, Kikaku!” You sighed softly and turned to face Uramichi.

“I’m so sorry about him, I wasn’t expecting him to just… tie you up like this.”

“No, it’s fine, not like I had anything else planned for tonight..”

“Let me at least untie you..” you made your way over to him, untying him.

“I don’t want you getting in trouble because of me.”

“Oh don’t worry about me. He may be a little… unhinged at times, but he’s really sweet a lot of the time.”

“Uh huh..” he didn’t sound too convinced, which made you chuckle a bit.

“Well.. once you get to know him, he’s really nice.” You pulled up a chair, once you were done untying him, avoiding the plushies on the ground.

“If you want, I can stay here with you?”

“You don’t have to do that, uh… I don’t think I caught your name,”

“Oh! It’s Y/n.” You sat down in the chair you had pulled up as he stretched his arms, as if to get feeling back in them, especially the arm that had been tied up.

“You really don’t have to stay here, Y/n, I don’t want to keep you awake.”

“I don’t really mind, I don’t really have much else to do either.” You shrugged. “Besides, I would feel bad if I left you here by yourself.” He went quiet after that, going back to working on his little drawing. It was quiet for a little while, but it was a comfortable silence. Though after a while, you did manage to strike up a conversation with him, talking to him throughout the rest of the night, getting to know the other a little better.

“Well, uh, we’ve been here all night, huh?” You yawned softly, resting your head on the desk.

“Yeah, it looks it.” Uramichi sighed and looked back at you, feeling a bit bad that you had stayed here all night with him, even if he didn’t show it on his face. He was brought out of his thoughts as he heard that your breathing had slowed down, indicating that you had fallen asleep.

“Oh, Y/n..” he stood up, went over to you, and gently picked you up, bringing you over to the couch in the room, and gently set you down. Though he was pretty tired himself, he didn’t want you to sleep on the hard table, he turned to leave, but glanced back at you.

“…I’ll see you around, Y/n.” He mumbled before leaving the room to get sleep as well.

And you two did see each other more often, you would occasionally check up on him after recording sessions, he would come and find you in the marketing department room working on new designs for merchandise, and you two would chat for a while, catch up on what’s going on.

Of course, everyone in the studio started to notice how close you two have gotten, noticing you two leave together occasionally, and they’ve definitely noticed how much… happier Uramichi has been lately since he started hanging around you. He still has his moments, though.

You may or may not have also developed feelings for Uramichi, and vice versa for him, but you haven’t mentioned it to anyone, and neither has he. However, Kikaku and a few others have definitely noticed how you act around him, and have caught on to your feelings.

“Y/n, when are you going to confess to him?” Kikaku suddenly asked you when you walked into your shared office.

“What?” You had to take a moment to process his words, before shaking your head, a very faint blush on your face. “I.. it’s not like that, we’re just friends..!”

“Uh-huh… Y/n, you’ve got it bad. We’ve all seen how you act around him. You’re so happy and you make him happy, and it’s only a matter of time before either of you confess.”

“Sure, sure, keep thinking that.” You went to your desk to start on your work, not knowing what he had in mind.

The rest of the day went by normally, you and Kikaku just talked about whatever else came to mind as you two worked, occasionally throwing ideas around for merchandise and other things, while plushies were also being thrown around since there were so many of them.

You were getting ready to leave for the day, when you heard Kikaku calling for you. Curious, you went over to where you had heard his voice. Though there is no sight of him, but one thing, or rather, person, caught your attention.

“Uramichi?” You went over to him, seeing that he was in the same predicament as the first time you met.

“Well… this is rather familiar, huh?” You shook your head and started untying him.

“Did he tell you what this was all about?” You asked him.

“Told me it had something to do with you… and feelings.” Oh that bastard wanted you to confess so badly he had to do this?? Oh you were going to get him back for this.

“I am… so so sorry he dragged you into this.”

“No, it’s okay, Y/n. I do have a question for you, though.” You glanced back at him, giving him a look of ‘go on’ as you continue to untie him.

“Do you… have feelings for me? Is that what this is all about?”

“Huh?” you had to stop what you were doing, a light blush on your face now. “W..well, uh, I…” before you could say anything else, he cut you off,

“Because if you do… not only would I be absolutely surprised that you would have feelings for me of all people, but… I would be happy… if you did.” Wait a minute. He basically just confessed his feelings for you.

“You.. have feelings for me?” A silent nod followed your question.

“Oh, Uramichi..” you had finished untying him at this point, a faint smile on your face. “I feel the same way.”

“Do you really?”

“I do. That’s… what this whole thing was about, and again I am so sorry he quite literally roped you into this.”

“Well.. at least one good thing happened from this. Besides, we can get back at him later.”

“That is true, and you bet that I will get back at him for this. Now come on, let’s get out of here.” You helped him up, now walking out of the studio, hand-in-hand. While you were going to get Kikaku back for this, you were silently thanking him for helping you at the same time.

#life lessons with uramichi oniisan #sfw #uramichi omota #uramichi omota/reader #uramichi omota x reader #x reader #reader insert #fluff #fluff oneshot #x reader oneshot #oneshot #life lessons with uramichi oniisan x reader

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madsworld15 · 3 months

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Part 3 of Asexual Rep AU (QAF)

I have decided to upload another part because it's been written so, you are welcome @maryp50 and @winderlylandchime HEHE

Justin worked the rest of his shift with an energy he’d been lacking before. Normalcy had been restored, and Brian was once again that bitchy business queen in his mind. His one moment of kindness and concern had been overshadowed by his arrogance. It was the way things should be.

That night after work, Justin went to Woody’s for a couple of drinks where he ran into Emmett and Ted. The duo quickly welcomed him to join them as they scouted the room for potential partners for the evening. Around 2 am, they all packed it in and went home alone. However, Justin was sure Emmett was going to end up calling that cute Southern man he’d been flirting with for most of the night.

Justin walked the four blocks to his and Daphne’s place, his thoughts a million miles away. Once he arrived at their apartment and let himself in, he immediately went to bed. Daphne was a pre-med student, so she had early classes almost every single day. He knew they would chat in the morning over their cups of coffee and last-minute study sessions.

Sure enough, the next morning, Daphne woke him up half an hour early with a hot cup of coffee and the look of a best friend who wanted to talk.

“Mmm.” Justin took a sip from the proffered mug and smiled, “Thanks.”

“I feel like we keep missing each other. I haven’t seen you in days.” Daphne gave Justin her signature ‘you’re toast’ look.

“Between work and school, I barely have any time to myself.” Justin shrugged and leaned his back against his headboard. “Let alone time for freedom and fun.”

“I distinctly remember you telling me about a fun night at a gay club a few weeks ago.” Daphne crawled up the bed to position herself side-by-side with Justin.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t tell you the whole story.” Justin sighed and closed his eyes. This would be the first time he would be talking about the incident out loud.

“Oh?” Daphne sounded nonchalant and unconcerned, but Justin knew better. She was itching to know more.

“Emmett invited me to join him and Ted at this gay club Babylon after I got off work that Thursday night. So, having nothing better to do, I joined him.” Justin put his coffee mug down on the bedside dresser.

“Oh my god! How was it? I have always wanted to go to a gay club!” Daphne perked up, her excitement barely contained.

“You are a freak, you know that?” Justin laughed at his best friend before he continued. “Anyway, I enjoyed some time on the dance floor until this guy made a move to undo my pants. Without asking me.”

“Please tell me you punched him!” Daphne looked horrified at what could potentially happen to him.

“No, but Brian showed up and possessively pushed those guys away,” Justin responded. “And then he kept dancing with me until I wanted to go home. It was weird, like he wanted something from me but didn’t ask.”

“Brian. The Brian. The older guy who comes into the diner and constantly treats you like crap? That guy?” Daphne knew all about Brian because of how often Justin complained about him. But she didn’t know that Brian always gave Justin more of a tip than was necessary.

“Yep!”

“And?” Daphne turned to face him with an expectant look, but Justin didn’t have anything else to give her.

“And nothing. It’s been almost two weeks, and he hasn’t said a word to me about it. And before yesterday, our interactions at the diner and the few occasions I’ve seen him at Woody’s have all been the same. But, then yesterday, I was working the late shift, and his whole friend group came in, and instead of being rude and snarky to me, Brian was kind. Unnaturally kind, like invasion of the body snatchers.” Justin sat up completely and crossed his legs.

“He likes you!” Daphne squealed and put her hands on each of Justin’s biceps. She shook him excitedly as her grin grew more and more.

“What?! No! The guy is a conceited asshole.” Justin dismissed Daphne’s assertion. “Moments later, we were out back, and Brian told me he was everyone’s type.”

“Back up. Why were you both out back?” Daphne gave him a knowing look.

“I needed a breath of fresh air because it's all so confusing,” Justin exclaimed.

“And he followed you.” Daphne continued to give him a look. “Because he likes you.”

“No, Brian isn’t like that. He doesn’t do boyfriends or commitment of any kind. He is all about sex.”

“And that makes you upset because you like him, and you know the moment he learned you don’t like sex, he would stop being interested.” Daphne pulled her best friend into a deep hug.

“I shouldn’t like him, Daph. I know it won’t end well. But, he’s all I think about even when he’s not around.”

“Then you need to limit your time around him. At least until you are over him.” Daphne gave Justin one last squeeze before she got up to go shower and head to her first class.

“How? He comes into the diner every day. I can’t exactly quit my job. I need the money.”

“How about I start coming to the diner after my classes to help keep you focused?” Daphne stated. “That way, you can work and not get drawn any deeper under his spell.”

“Okay. We can try that.” Justin agreed as he, too, got up to get ready for classes.

The next day, Daphne was true to her word and deposited herself at the back corner booth to study while Justin did his Friday evening shift. Things were going well, and they hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Brian, despite seeing Ted and Emmett early in his shift. He was certain Brian wouldn’t show up that night when the man came breezing through the door. Only, he wasn’t his usual self. This time, Brian was wearing a white tee under his signature black leather jacket. His hair was a mess and Justin was pretty sure the tee had some stains on them. Not only that, Brian was lugging a baby carrier on his right arm. Justin bit back a laugh at the image.

A loud squeal was all he heard before Debbie pushed him aside in favor of the baby.

“GUS!” Debbie cooed as she unbuckled the baby and held him in her arms. Justin wasn’t familiar enough with babies to guess his exact age, but he figured he looked to be a few months old.

“If you love him so much, you can take him.” Brian groused and slumped down onto the counter. “Lindsay thought I was responsible enough to take care of him for the weekend while she works and Mel is at her yenta mother’s.”

“Well, you are his father!” Debbie admonished him. “And don’t insult Mel or her mother.”

“It’s not as though Mel wouldn’t do the same with me.” Brian tried to argue. “Besides, I gave up my rights as his father the day he was born. That was our deal.”

“A piece of paper doesn’t erase DNA.” Debbie chided and handed the baby back to Brian.

Justin finally found his voice enough to snark out incredulously, “You’re a dad?”

“I donated my spunk to a couple of cwazy wesbians.” Brian parroted as he stared his son in the eyes and made a goofy face for his benefit, “That doesn’t make me a father.”

Justin didn’t say anything else. He didn’t know what to say. But it did end up making him think about his own father for the first time in ages, really think about him. Brian’s assertion that a sperm donation didn’t make him a father nor give him the responsibility of stepping up really got under Justin’s skin. His whole life he believed his father loved him unconditionally. Despite their lack of connection or understanding, the man still loved him. Then, he learned quickly that there was one thing that could turn his father’s love off. Coming out as gay.

He walked away and let Debbie deal with him. He went over to Daphne’s booth and sat down. She didn’t say anything, but she placed her hand on his just the same. If anyone understood his complicated relationship with his dad, Daphne did.

“Don’t judge him.” Debbie’s voice floated above him. Justin looked up into the soft, dark eyes of the woman, “Remember what I said about how most people here have their own story? Well, Brian’s dad is probably the worst of them all.”

Justin silently looked at Debbie as he processed her words. “Just think about it, sunshine.”

As Justin continued his shift, he occasionally let his gaze wander over to Brian. Eventually, the man pulled out what looked like work as Gus slept in his baby carrier. Without a word, Justin refilled his coffee cup. He looked at Brian’s papers from across the counter. It was a bunch of artwork for what looked to be an ad.

“Can I?” Justin motioned to the ad Brian was fussing over.

Brian looked at Justin and then at the ad. “Sure, I can’t quite figure out why I don’t like it.”

Justin looked it over. The people in the image looked happy enough, the words stood out. Then he saw it.

“You need to change the color of the font. Right now, the blue gives the image’s happiness a bitter tinge, making it sad. You want people to love the idea of this product. The text should be orange to invigorate them.” Justin gave a tight smile as he handed the ad back to Brian.

He started to move away and see to the people who had just sat down at Table 4 when Brian grabbed at his hand.

“How do you know?” The man looked genuinely interested to know how it was that Justin could see what he had missed.

“I’m an art major at PIFA with an interest in graphic art.” Justin shrugged and then went back to work, leaving Brian to contemplate what he’d just said.

By the time Justin was able to make it back over to Brian at the counter, another thirty minutes had passed, and he was now feeding the baby a bottle. Justin hung back to watch how gentle and unguarded Brian was around the little boy who shared his genetic material. Despite what Brian had said, Justin could see firsthand just how much Brian actually loved his son.

“You know, just because our dads before us have fucked everything up doesn’t mean you can’t do things differently,” Justin whispered, filled Brian’s cup again, and then walked away to clock out and gather up Daphne so they could go home.

He was just out the door when Brian’s hand landed on his bicep to stop him. Daphne gave him a look and motioned that she would be just up the block. Justin silently begged her to stay right there, but she shook her head and left.

Justin turned around and gave Brian a smile. The two stood there in awkward silence for a few minutes before Brian bit his lip. Justin noticed that his hands were doing that weird thing they did when he was uncomfortable or nervous, where he had his fingers battling each other for dominance.

“Look, I just wanted to say thank you.” Brian took a deep breath. His face looked pained, as though it took so much out of him to admit that simple phrase.

“Oh. It was no big deal.” Justin waved him off and moved to reunite with Daphne.

But Brian stopped him once more by grabbing his arm. Only this time, the force spun Justin around until he was in Brian’s chest, and the older man’s arms were wrapped around his torso. Justin knew he should leave right then. No good would come out of whatever was bound to happen next.

“I don’t understand you.” Brian whispered, “The minute a guy doesn’t show interest in me, I forget him. But with you, I can’t stop.”

“Uhh.” Justin’s mouth was suddenly dry. “I, um, I’m sorry?” Justin tried, not really sure what Brian wanted from him.

“I don’t believe in love. I believe in fucking. It’s honest. It’s efficient. You get in and out with a maximum of pleasure and a minimum of bullshit. And yet, for some reason, I can’t quite get you out of my head.”

Justin couldn’t seem to get the words out at first, his brain in overdrive trying to process whatever it was that Brian was saying. He finally managed after what felt like hours.

“I believe in love and commitment. I’m not a fan of sex. It makes things messy and complicated.”

“I should be running away. And yet, all I want to do is get closer to you.” Brian admitted before he leaned over and placed his lips on Justin’s.

The heat that immediately radiated from Brian’s body and into Justin at their contact almost stopped his heart. This kiss was like nothing Justin had ever felt before. If lightning were to strike him down at that moment, he would die happy. Their kiss continued long enough for Brian’s tongue to ask for entrance into Justin’s mouth. That little tap woke Justin up, and the magic was gone. He pulled out of Brian’s touch entirely.

The two stared at one another and muttered, “Fuck.” at the same time, but with entirely different meanings.

Then Justin ran to Daphne, putting as much space between him and Brian as he could.

#queer as folk #brian kinney #fanfiction #justin taylor #alternate universe #asexual spectrum representation

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pokedext · 1 year

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Toxic positivity is real. I feel like I’m seeing more as a lot of ppl forget friendships are a two way street. Like sometimes your self care is leaning too heavy into selfish and address that. Feels like so many young ppl want life to just be good vibes and no rain. A good friendship has support and jokes. It doesn’t mean drain yourself. But legit had a person go off about needing a warning for injections. I’m thinking okay you asked and I answered… I’ll humor this situation it’s not that bad. Deleted the comment and amended to not mention it ever again without a warning. Regretted it because they proceeded to go off how my whole hospital stuff is uncomfortable. I set off on them at that point. Im sorry you asked about it you can’t be mad. Sorry the answer was a surprise life is not just a trigger warning in advance. That’s just not possible for everything. I have no idea what will set someone off. I promise it was more trauma to go to the hospital then you having to hear about it. All I said is I went to the hospital for my spinal pain cause I had cardiac issues/paralysis. It is scary but it’s just a sentence. This person has never had to deal with anything like that and it’s offensive they feel their comfort should be a consideration for something they asked about. Like just be a supportive person. Just feel compassion or something that I lived that instead of talk about the thought of it bothering your mental health. I didn’t ask you for therapy on it I have a therapist/pysch for it. Where do you think my mental health was? Fuck these type of ppl. Your self care/toxic positivity are blinders for easy living. But the friends I appreciate most we give equal support/listen when we can, and don’t start this kind crap with each other. If they are that emotionally bothered they could have made it come across a lot less callous then they did. I didn’t bring it up. Why am I punished for answering and the answer being uncomfortable. Like mentally address life might have some uncomfortable conversations. I didn’t need help, I just answered a question grow a spine and a heart. Im just depressed enough as it is I try to just vent to the void/therapist/pysch/chronic pain groups because this type of thinking is common unfortunately. I also do understand it’s a lot to process. But I didn’t get too much into the grit of it. Ppl just don’t want to think about problems outside their own these days. It’s fucking toxic. I think I need to rearrange my friendships. I have friends I love hanging out with. Got a friend we pick a place to eat and do vent sessions. We get along great. Have fun too. Idk where to find ppl. The ppl I have that are great like that for support are like 30+ years. Is it just young ppl that don’t have the emotional capacity to be adults with other adults? Do I need to limit the amount of young ppl I hang around with the uptrend of this self focus culture. Am I wrong? Am I overacting? Do I have shitty friends?

#long post #vent

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jestershark · 4 months

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if you say "i like everything except country and hip-hop"

there was a post going around a while ago which had people justifying why they don't listen to black music and rap and it pissed me off so i made a baby's first rap playlist.

some personalized recommendations below the cut

Being An Ally (tm) means complaining about racism and also Pushing The People You Are In Community With To Do Better. so I've compiled a list of excuses I've heard people make and some songs to counteract those excuses.

so i went through the post and then some reddit/quora responses for "why don't you like black artists" and "why don't you like rap"-- the general answer for lots of these is "you have uninterrogated racism and bias and you aren't working on fixing that"

so while i don't think a lot of these excuses are like, good excuses, I'm going to go down a list of excuses and recommend some starter songs

i think a lot of White Kids have this response of "i like everything except rap and country", but black musicians make every kind of music! rap itself has a ton of variation-- it's not just mumble rap and gangsta rap, there's tons of artists with different voices, different styles, and different results. (honestly a lot of you would like backpack rap and nerd rap. i see you)

here's my list

"I like music with good lyrics"

try out doechii

youtube

By the time you hear this I'll have taken on another form The way I been snappin ya'll gon end up my children of the corn I think I've adapted to all of the cannibal savages I feel a Possession in this session I need a catholic to Assess it Come and bless it Then undress it

mf DOOM is a favourite for a fucking reason:

youtube

There's four sides to every story If these walls could talk, they'd probably still ignore me Contemplate war over a cup of warm coffee It's really getting gory, tell your problem to Maury

Don't bore V with the "Glory, hallelu-ey" Crews be like, foo-ey he's just a buncha hoo-ey I knew he had new G, who he? Viktor Vaughn He had a new sicker song, I think he call it "Lickupon"

like 90% of hiphop is just incredible lyricism and puns. what's not to like.

"rappers just write about drugs and violence"

writing about violence well is art! this song is art:

youtube

this song talks about violence, does that make it bad? unrelatable? why does it do that?

youtube

also if you like music that has INSANE lyrical flexibility, please listen to this:

youtube

"i only like music if i can somehow tie it to my ocs"

everything is going wrong in my oc's life and they're barely keeping it together:

youtube

"i like strings and traditional instruments"

this baseline + godzilla sampling is so good-- listen to how they pass the verses back and forth!

youtube

this whole album is a master class in good sampling and i really recommend it!

youtube

"i like kpop"

here's a rap song with miku in it

youtube

"i like gay music only"

there are SO MANY gay rappers and hip hop artists, so many. do you deny the internet? this song by ilovemakonnen is extremely Gay Love. here's a song about being a huge lesbian.

here's a huge playlist: find SOMETHING. here's a bunch more.

"Most all rappers sound the same", "the beats nearly all the same", "Not a whole lot of melodic value to rap" , "Most modern rap is crap with no actual musicianship or storytelling", "Because rap is hedonistic, narcissistic, misogynistic and worst of all violent."

ok go through and listen to what I've linked above. do those all sound the same to you? think about why. think about what you like about other music, and what it might be about this music in particular that you don't like.

if you listen to a song by tupac, or snoop dog, or any other 90s rapper, their music is the cornerstone of all of modern music. including country. including kpop. including stuff that's far away from any other music. without hiphop and rap you don't have like. half the other genres that currently exist, and the other half have no reason to evolve or change.

"I just don't like their vocal timber"

you're racist. find jesus.

A final word:

listen to critics who say this stuff better than i can-- and i guarantee these are fun youtube videos to watch by creators who Are Good At Their Jobs

the rap critic

fd signifier

foreign man in a foreign land

khadija mbowe

princess weekes

bonus some of you should watch this video and this video

#not staying in my lane #i understand i'm extremely White Girl Who Likes Rap Music. but like.#it's really good #Youtube

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secretswiftymarvelfan · 1 year

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The Demigod From Asgard - Steve Rogers x Reader (Part 82)

A/N: We’re officially in the Endgame now! So for all of those that have missed our reader, she’ll be popping up very soon!

Summary: A surprise visitor, long thought gone, turns up at the compound giving Steve the chance he never thought he’d get

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: Angst! Language! Talk of Grief and moving on!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Series Masterlist / Masterlist

Chapter 82: A Chance

5 years since the snap

Steve’s mood was a direct reflection of the weather a dark and gloomy day, thick fog covering everything, even JJ’s excited mood for the first day of first grade could pull Steve out of his slump. 5 years on since Steve started seeing his therapist about depression and grief, he still had days when it felt impossible to get out of bed.

He’d hoped that after taking JJ to school and going out for a run with Scout would help improve his mood, but it didn’t. so much so that he even considered cancelling today’s support group. Struggling to see how he could be any help to others when he could barely help himself.

Nevertheless, the sense of duty drove him to attend. The small room in the community centre seeming more dark and gloomy than before. The group was smaller than usual, people seemingly having the same sort of day as him. The core members of the group were still there, including the man, Joe, who inspired Steve to start the whole thing up.

“so.. I, uh, went on a date the other day,” Joe told the group as part of the catch-up portion of the session, each member telling the group what changes, big or small happened, Steve telling the group how JJ started first grade.

“it’s the first time in five years, you know? I’m sitting there at dinner… i- i- didn’t even know what to talk about” Joe sighed and looked over at Steve.

Steve nods sympathetically, knowing the weight everyone carried around on their shoulders, the extra baggage caused by the snap “what did you talk about?” Steve prompted.

“eh, same old crap, you know how things have changed, my job, his job, how much we miss the Mets… and then things got quiet… then he cried as they were serving the salads” Joe sighed shaking his head.

“what about you?” another member asked.

“I cried just before dessert” Joe answers with a sigh “but I’m seeing him again tomorrow so…”

“that’s great” steve nods “you did the hardest part you took the jump, you didn’t know where you were gonna come down, and that’s it, it's those little brave baby steps we gotta take to try and become whole again, try and find purpose” steve sighs his mind going instantly to JJ.

“I went into the ice in ’45, right after I met my first love… woke up 70 years later, life turned upside down, didn’t think I’d be lucky again and then I met the woman that became my wife, and while she’s not around anymore it’s a reminder that you gotta move on” Steve sighs

“you gotta move on” he repeats mostly for the benefit of himself, reminding himself that it would be what you wanted, no matter how hard it was “the world is in our hands, it's left to us guys as we gotta do something with it otherwise… Thanos should have killed all of us”

Silence falls in the room as everyone takes in what he said, a few people nodding, some wiping away stray tears.

“do you think you’ll find someone again?” one of the ladies asks.

Steve sighs deeply, crossing his arms over his chest as he thought “honestly, I don’t know, maybe… life gave me a second chance with Y/N, it was rough at times and we didn’t get to do everything we planned to, but we made it work, we had our son…” steve sighs before shaking his head “it still seems so fresh, friends have tried to push me into it but it just doesn’t feel right, I feel like I’m cheating on her still” Steve has to bite his lips slightly to stop himself from crying “but that doesn’t it mean it won’t, I know Y/N would want me to be happy and move on and maybe in a few years JJ will have a mom again, but right now I’m just not ready”

A few people nodded and voiced their understanding and agreement, and to Steve’s relief, the topic of conversation moved on. For the rest of the session, Steve tried to stay present but after talking about moving on from you he struggled. He’d had the same conversation over and over again with his therapist but he just couldn’t bring himself to move on. There was something holding him back and he didn’t know what.

Once the session was over Steve packed up all the chairs and made his way outside, taking a deep breath to try and centre himself. When he opened his eyes he spotted a flower stall across the street, spotting a bouquet of your favourite flowers. Without thinking he walked across the street and purchased the flowers before grabbing his phone and dialling Roberta.

“hey Steve is everything okay?” she says once she answered.

“yeah, um do you mind picking JJ up from school today, I know it's bad and I should go considering it's his first day but…” Steve sighed shaking his head as he looked down at the flowers in his hands.

“The session today was tough and you need some time” Roberta finishes for him.

“yeah,” Steve breathes out, his voice shaking.

“of course, it's not a problem, and just call me if you need anything, I’ll cook some dinner for the both of you and get Scout from the house too,” Roberta tells him.

“thank you Roberta that really means a lot, I’ll try and not stay too long, I just need to go see her” Steve promises.

“take as much time as you need sweetheart” Roberta reassures him.

“thank you, I’ll see you later” Steve sighs before hanging up.

As Steve made his way out of the city the sun was beginning to set, the sun finally breaking through the clouds casting an orange glow over everything. As he reached the bridge over the Hudson he hit standstill traffic, looking up ahead he could see a large group of people out of their cars looking out at the river. He looked out to see where they were pointing, spotting a pod of whales swimming past.

Steve muttered in amazement under his breath, even back in the forties the chance of seeing any life in the Hudson river seemed impossible. Yet here they were. Steve sighed wishing JJ was here to see it, knowing how much the boy loved animals. But a part of him hated that scenes like this were now possible, he hated that what Thanos did actually had some good. He’d rather have you, than see whales in the Hudson, no matter how selfish that seemed.

Steve revved his bike and carefully slinked through the traffic towards the compound. The sun had nearly set when he arrived, when he parked up he grabbed the flowers and walked over to the memorial. He took a deep and shaky breath as he placed down the flowers, his eyes instantly finding your name, fingers running over the inscription.

“JJ started first grade today,” Steve said his voice barely above a whisper “he was so excited, I don’t think I've seen a kid so excited for school, I just hope he feels the same when I see him later” he sighs looking up at the sky, silently cursing the clouds that blocked his view of the stars “I miss you so much” he whispered.

Steve stayed there for a few moments before collecting himself and making his way inside to go say hi to Nat before heading back home. As he walked in he found her sitting at a table in the conference room, Steve lingering by the side as she asked Rhodey to continue to look for Clint. Rhodey caught sight of Steve as he signs off, giving him a quick nod before the hologram disappeared. Once he was gone Nat slumped back in her chair clearly unaware of Steve’s presence as she puts her head in her hands and struggles to hold back the tears.

“you know I’d offer to cook you dinner… but you seem pretty miserable already,” Steve says grabbing her attention, trying to lighten the situation.

It works slightly as Nat gives him a weak smile before looking over at him “I do wonder how you feed your son” she comments.

“microwave meals and a friendly neighbour” Steve jokes despite it being far from the truth, now you weren’t around Steve had to step up and slowly over the years learnt to cook with the help of Roberta, while his cooking wasn’t as good as yours, it was pretty decent.

“Are you here to do your laundry?” Nat says, referring to Steve’s usual excuse to visit unannounced.

“and to see a friend” Steve nods.

“Clearly your friend is fine” Nat sighs, clasping her hands together as she looks over at him.

Steve sighs glancing down at his keys “you know I saw a pod of whales when I was coming over the bridge”

“in the Hudson?” Nat asks surprised.

“there’s fewer ships… cleaner water” Steve sighs.

“you know if you’re about to tell me to look on the bright side, um… I’m about to hit you in the head with a peanut butter sandwich” she states with a tight smile.

“hmm” Steve hums with a small sigh “sorry force of habit” he apologises as he moves to sit opposite her.

As he sits down she pushes her plate closer to him, offering him half of her sandwich. He thinks about taking it for a second but before he gets the chance he sees a hand reach out and grab it. He looks up to see you standing there smirking as you took a bite of the sandwich, winking at him. Steve lets out a shaky breath as he watches you, trying to keep his eyes open but as soon as he blinks you disappear and the sandwich is left on the plate untouched.

“you still see her don’t you” Nat sighs grabbing Steve’s attention.

Steve sighs nodding his head sadly “only here, and its less often now but even though it kills me to see her… I don’t want it to stop” he admits before scoffing slightly under his breath “you know I keep telling everybody they should move on and grow, some do… but not us”

“if I move on, who does this?” Nat says shaking her head as she looks around the room.

“Maybe it doesn’t need to be done” Steve presses gently, hoping that this time she would finally stop.

But Nat shakes her head, tears collecting in her eyes “I used to have nothing, and then I got this. This job… this family… and I was better because of it… and even though they’re gone… I’m still trying to be better” she admits.

Steve sighs knowing that no matter what he said she wouldn’t change her mind “I think we both need to get a life”

Nat lets out a small huff of a laugh “you first” she says, Steve giving her a small smile.

Their conversation was interrupted by an alert appearing in front of Nat, she quickly swipes it aside “oh hi, hi!” Steve hears behind him, Steve glancing over his shoulder to look at the screen “uh is anyone home” as he does so he sees the CCTV footage of Scott outside the gate of the compound waving at the camera “This is un Scott lang! we met a few years ago at the airport in Germany”

Steve frowns in confusion as he stands up to get a proper look at the screen, not believing what he was actually seeing. As far as he knew Scott was one of the ones who didn’t survive the snap “is this an old message?” Steve asks.

“It’s the front gate” Nat answers her voice wobbling.

Steve’s mind exploded with possibilities as Nat jumped into action opening the gate for Scott, telling him to drive up. How was Scott here? What if the snap was only temporary? If Scott was back did that mean everyone else would come back too? Steve had too many questions he needed answering.

“what the hell has happened?” Scott said as he walked into the compound.

“we’re kinda hoping you could tell us the same thing,” Nat says with a brow arched.

“right because the last thing I knew it was 2018, not 2023!” Scott fires back making Steve’s eyebrows raise in surprise, Scott covers his mouth in shock at his own outburst “sorry, I’m sorry I’m just really freaking out and I need someone to explain what’s going on”

Steve holds out his hand to calm Scott down “okay, okay, what do you know already?” Steve asks him.

“um um I don’t know- i- I Cassie said there was this guy called Thanos and he wiped out like half the universe or something but it's been five years and my little girl isn’t a little girl anymore!” Scott says beginning to freak out more, pacing back and forth.

“I mean that’s the general gist of it” Nat admits “but we thought you were gone too, so how are you here?” she asks.

Scott doesn’t answer and continues to pace back and forth in front of Steve and Nat, the two of them sharing a concerned look as they watched him. Scott muttered to himself as he tried to comprehend everything, Steve knew he needed to give him some time but he was dying to have some answers. He needed to know if you were out there somewhere.

“Scott, are you okay?” Steve asked finally getting Scott to stop pacing.

“yeah” Scott nods, his voice still trembling as he ran his hands down his face “have either of you guys studied quantum physics?” he asks suddenly.

“only to make conversation” Nat admits, Steve looking over at her in surprise.

Scott points over to her “all right so, five years ago, right before… Thanos… I was in a place called the quantum realm, the quantum realm is like its own microscopic universe, to get in there you have to be incredibly small” Scott explains “Hope, she’s my- um- she was my- she was supposed to pull me out and then Thanos happened and I got stuck in there”

Steve sighs deeply dropping his head, the hopes he had that the snap was temporary and you were out there somewhere right now completely dashed. Scott was one of the ones who survived, he never disappeared in the first place.

“I’m sorry that must have been a very long five years,” Nat says sympathetically.

“yeah but that’s just it, it wasn’t,” Scott said shaking his head “for me it was 5 hours, see the rules of the quantum realm aren’t like they are up here, everything is unpredictable, is that anybody’s sandwich? I’m starving” Scott asks pointing over to Nat’s sandwich.

“Scott” Steve says as he walks past him to grab the sandwich “what are you talking about?” he asks completely lost on what Scott was saying.

“so” Scott starts, his voice muffled by the mouthful of sandwich “what I’m saying is, time works differently in the quantum realm, the only problem is right now, we don’t have a way to navigate it” Scott explains beginning to pace again “but what if we did? I can’t stop thinking about it, what if we could somehow control the chaos and we could navigate it? what if there was a way that we could enter the quantum realm at a certain point in time but then exit the quantum realm at another point in time, like… like before Thanos” he finishes.

“Wait,” Steve said holding up his hand as he tried to comprehend what Scott was suggesting “are you talking about a time machine,” Steve asks struggling to believe it.

“no, no of course not, no not a time machine,” Scott says shaking his head “this is more like a…” Scott says gesturing with his hand as he tries to think of something else “yeah like a time machine, I know its crazy, its crazy, but I- I- can’t stop thinking about it, there’s gotta be… some way… it's crazy” Scott sighs in defeat looking down at the floor.

“Scott, I get emails from a raccoon so nothing sounds crazy anymore” Natasha states in an attempt to comfort him.

“so who do we talk to about this?” Scott asks.

“Stark seems like the best bet,” Steve says with a sigh glancing over at Nat.

“do you think he’ll be up for it?” Nat asks unconvinced.

“maybe but it's worth a shot, I’m supposed the be going over this weekend with JJ, we can ask him then,” Steve says shrugging his shoulders.

“sounds like a plan, wait who’s JJ?” Scott asks confused.

“my son, he uh- he was born a year before the snap” Steve explains clearing his throat.

“oh nice, congratulations, how is Y/N?” Scott asks with a small smile.

Steve’s voice catches in his throat, swallowing the lump of emotion as he looked down at the floor. Thankfully Scott seemed to pick up on what was wrong meaning Steve didn’t need to say the words he hated.

“oh… oh I’m so sorry Steve” Scott mutters shaking his head sadly.

“it's okay,” Steve says his voice cracking as he cleared his throat “it's uh late, I should get home, I’ll swing by here and pick you guys up on Saturday,” he says grabbing his keys and jacket and quickly making his way out.

“Steve” Nat called out making him pause at the door “we’ll work it out”

Steve just nods before turning and making his way out the door.

When he got home, he quietly opened the front door aware that JJ was most likely fast asleep upstairs given the late hour. As he stepped inside Scout quickly trotted over, his tail wagging as he greeted Steve, nuzzling his snout into Steve’s hand as if he could sense Steve’s distress.

“hey, you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost” Roberta says grabbing Steve’s attention.

Steve blinked a couple of times looking over to see her sitting on the couch book in hand. Steve nods slightly before kicking off his shoes and handing up his coat before walking in.

“is JJ asleep?” he asks as he sits down on the couch.

“yeah he wanted to stay up but I managed to convince him saying you’d pop in when you got in” Roberta explains as she puts down her book “is everything okay?”

“yeah… no… I don’t know” Steve sighs dropping his head into his hands and rubbing his face tiredly.

“What happened?” Roberta asks sitting forward and putting a hand on Steve’s shoulder.

Steve took a deep breath as he leaned back and slumped against the couch “while I was at the compound, someone we thought had been snapped away turned up” Steve explained, Roberta’s eyes widening in surprise.

“it turns out he was in this place called the quantum realm for the past 5 years, but to him it only felt like 5 hours” Steve continues shaking his head as he still tried to understand it all.

“so it's like he travelled through time?” Roberta asks confused.

“yeah, and he thinks maybe we could use this realm to get everyone back,” Steve says looking over at her.

“shit…” Roberta mutters, slumping back in disbelief.

“my sentiments exactly, it's this wild idea but what if we can? What if we can get everyone back, bring Y/N back” Steve admits quietly as he looks up at the ceiling.

“Are you gonna try? If it works and you can do it?” Roberta asks him.

“I have to, for JJ” Steve sighs shaking his head “for everyone who lost someone”

“then do it, do whatever it is you need to do, and if it doesn’t work at least you know you tried,” Roberta says reaching out to put her hand on top of his “and whatever you need, I’ll be here”

“thank you Roberta, I just really hope this works” Steve sighs biting his lip to stop himself from crying.

“if I know anything about you Steve, it's that you never give up,” Roberts says making him let out a small huff of a laugh “now go on upstairs, say goodnight to JJ and get some rest, you have a lot ahead of you”

“Thank you Roberta, I don’t know what I would have done without you” Steve smiles as he stands up from the couch.

“probably burnt this place down a week after moving in” Roberta snorts making Steve chuckle.

“yeah probably, you get some rest too, thank you for helping out tonight” Steve smiles.

“It's nothing, I’ll see you tomorrow” Roberta smiles standing up and heading out.

Quickly and quietly running up the stairs Steve crept into JJ’s room, his jungle nightlight projecting the shapes of different animals around the room. Steve could see JJ was fast asleep and while he Roberta promised Steve was come in to say goodnight, Steve was reluctant to disturb him.

“Daddy?” JJ murmured in his sleep rubbing his eyes tiredly.

“hey bean, sorry I didn’t mean to wake you” Steve smiles as he walks in perching on the side of JJ’s bed, hand running over his hair “did you have a good day at school?” he asks.

“yeah it was really fun, Miss Levinson is really nice and pretty,” JJ says making Steve chuckle.

“That’s good I'm glad you enjoyed it” Steve smiles leaning down to kiss the top of his head.

“where did you go?” JJ then asks him.

Steve sighs as he tries to work out what to tell him “I needed to help a friend who’s been lost for a while now” Steve tells him.

“lost?” JJ asks confused.

“yeah he didn’t know where he was and needed some help” Steve explained.

“Is he okay now?” JJ asks concerned.

“yeah, he will be, now you get some sleep you’ve got another couple of days of school ahead of you,” Steve says tucking JJ back in.

“and then we’ll see Morgan?” JJ asks hopefully.

“yes we’ll see Morgan” Steve confirms with a chuckle “now go to sleep and I’ll see you in the morning”

“Okay, night night daddy,” JJ says making himself comfortable.

“night night bean” Steve smiles kissing the top of his head.

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