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miss-shawdowsinger · 1 year

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Soothing Darkness - Azriel X reader fanfic

Chapter 14

Summary: Y/N fights for her life. Azriel is so close to finding her.

Warnings: Swearing, blood, violence! Please do not read if you are under 18 or triggered by violence.

AN: I have no words for this chapter....🙈 Please forgive me ❤️

Chapter 1

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Y/N pov:

You clasped a hand over your chest. Azriel. You could feel him, that pull he had shown you. He was looking for you. You weren’t sure how, but you tugged on the bond as hard as you could. Pleading for him to find you.

Looking down at your hands, your wrists still in chains. They were now covered with your blood from using all of your strength to wrench your hands free from their binds. Even though it had been centuries since you were last here, you knew exactly how to get to the throne room. That’s where Azriel would be. You could feel it. You just needed to break free first.

You looked away as you tried again, bending and contorting your hand and fingers. Trying everyway to pull your hand free. You winced as the metal cut deeply into your skin. “Shit” you breathed, sweat dripping down your brow. “Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit” you screamed, pulling at the chains. It was no use, they wouldn’t budge.

Staring at your useless hand, there was only one other option. Breathing deeply, you placed your hand on the floor. There was no object in the room to use for this so you had to improvise. You crouched over your bloodied hand, then balanced yourself as you raised one foot.

Breath in. Breath out.

You stomped down hard on your hand. Pain shot through your entire arm as you felt the snap. You bit hard on your bottom lip, drawing blood, to keep you quiet. Tears streamed down your face as you drew your foot back and repeated. And repeated. Until your hand looked broken enough to squeeze it through the binds.

Carefully, you began pulling the bind over your hand. Each movement was agony as your broken hand contorted to allow the binds to pass over it. You knew it would heal, that was the only thing motivating you as you looked to your second hand. You placed the bound hand on the floor and took up position.

Breath in. Breath out.

The door slammed open as you were about to make the first blow. You turned quickly to find your brother eyeing your now useless hand and the bind scattered on the floor. It took him three large paces across the room to reach you. His large arm swiped at you but you block it, punching him in the ribs as he lost his balance. You screamed as searing white pain shot through your arm at the impact.

Jasker barely moved off balance at the blow. His blue eyes met yours as a smirk appeared on his face. “You’ve been trained in combat I see. Let’s see just how good you are” he held up his fists in a waiting position. It wasn’t exactly a fair fight, your hand was broken and you hadn’t eaten in days. You gritted your teeth and took up position anyway. If you were going to go down, you would go down fighting.

You stepped carefully. Waiting for him to strike first. He moved quickly, striking with both fists. Your body moved automatically, dodging each blow and attacking when your opponent was of guard. Accept Jasker expected that now. You kicked high, aiming for his chest when he caught your leg. Spinning in until you flipped, landing hard on the ground.

Your brother was trained in combat. Had been since he was ten years old. He was bigger and stronger than you and you could feel your energy depleting quickly. Fear took over you. A deep paralysing fear as you realised you weren’t going to win. Then you felt it again. That pull in your chest. Azriel had once told you what made him fight through the fear. It was to have something worth fighting for. He was here, he was so close. You blinked slowly, focusing your mind.

You got to your feet. Jasker lunged again but this time he didn’t retreat. Punch after punch was struck as you dodged and defended. Your arms straining to keep him at bay. Everything inside of you screamed to hold on. Jasker’s punches wavered as he tired. You took your shot at a small opening and punched him hard in the jaw. He stumbled ever so slightly, and you took the opportunity. It was your turn to attack.

You kicked and punched like a frenzied animal. Lashing out with every bit of strength you had left. You landed a kick to his groin. He bent over at the pain and you slammed into him, knocking him to the ground. Every inch of your body told you to make it hurt. You could land punch after punch if you wanted to but you didn’t have time. You knew, your father or Jasker’s two brutes that he calls friends would come running.

You kicked him hard in the jaw. Blood splattered from his mouth as he fell unconscious at the blow. Your chest heaved as you stood over your brother’s limp body. Blood scattered across his face and hands. You calmed yourself, you didn’t have time to wait. Jasker would wake up any minute and you still needed to release yourself from the bind around your wrist.

Breath in. Breath out.

You placed your hand on the floor yet again and didn’t pause before your foot slammed down hard. You couldn’t stop your screams as your hand throbbed with pain. The blow hadn’t broken it though. You readied yourself again. Your teeth grinded together as your whole body shook. You brought your foot up into position.

Before you could slam it back down your chains were pulled from underneath you. Your hand was pulled backwards as you were knocked off balance. Before you could realise what was happening, cold metal wrapped around your throat. “Did you think you could best me little sister” Jasker whispered in your ear as he held the chain tightly around your neck. He pulled it tighter as you fought against him. “Be quiet, you don’t want to disturb the meeting with the high lord” he hissed.

Rhysand. Rhysand was here.

Jasker pulled tighter on the chains. Your limbs flailed to find contact with something but to no avail. You couldn’t scream, you couldn’t even breath. The life was being drained out of you but you remembered something. Azriel had told you about Rhys. How he could get into the minds of others.

‘Rhys’ your mind screamed.

Your vision began to blur as your lungs burnt.

‘Rhys’ you screamed again.

Silence. Your limbs felt heavy. So heavy and tired that they dropped to the floor.

‘Y/N’ Rhys’ voice appeared in your head.

Azriel pov:

Azriel stared out over the crowd in the throne room. No one had brought Y/N forward and he was getting increasingly more impatient. Kier’s excuses and ugly expressions at Rhys’ accusation almost made Azriel go feral. He could feel her here, the bond was stronger than it had been in Velaris.

“You come to my court and accuse us of kidnap” Kier growled.

“I must remind you Kier, that this is still my court” Rhys stood up from his throne, but it was too late Azriel had snapped. He grabbed the male by the throat, throwing him hard against the ground. Azriel had waited centuries to knock Kier on his ass, to kill him slowly. But he knew that was a job left for Mor, until now.

Azriel unsheathed truth teller and held the newly sharpened blade to Kiers throat. “Tell us where she is. We can do this the easy way of the hard way” Azriel demanded. He saw his own reflection in Kier’s eyes. The monster had been released.

“I don’t know” Kier whimpered. Actually whimpered in front of his whole court at the hand of Azriel. He hadn’t even begun his usual techniques yet.

‘Azriel’ Rhys voice pierced through his roaring mind. ‘Release him, he doesn’t know anything’ Azriel held firm on the males neck. A predatorial growl emanating from his chest at the sight of Kier at his mercy.

That’s when he felt it. A tug on the bond. Azriel stood immediately, releasing the male. He felt her, she had reached back out to him. It was a strong pull. He felt her, somewhere here in the city. His eyes raced around the room. Trying to decipher in which direction the pull was coming from. Kier coughed and spluttered on the floor, gaining his breath back.

Pain. Sudden excruciating pain. Azriel’s blood ran cold. Somewhere in this damned city Y/N was being hurt. Fear washed over him. He could feel Rhys in his mind, feeling what he was feeling. Shadows erupted from him, filling the throne room. He had to find her quickly. If that meant defying Rhys and whatever plan he had, he didn’t care. Azriel would do anything to get Y/N back. If that meant brining this entire court to the ground, he would. He could feel her fear. He felt helpless as he tugged on the bond again, harder this time.

“Control your dog” Kier finally stood up and caught his breath. Azriel didn’t care what he called him, he didn’t even register the insult.

“Azriel” Cassian grasped his shoulder, pulling him back to stand beside the throne. If Azriel’s glare alone could kill, Cassian would have dropped dead instantly. But the Illyrian general didn’t faulter, he kept a solid hand on Azriel’s shoulder.

Rhys face had turned stone cold. A face Azriel had seen a thousand times before. He was talking with someone. Mind to mind. Azriel watched as Rhys’ jaw tightened and eyes flared. Whoever he was talking to was worrying him. Even some masks could not be hidden.

“Y/N is here” Rhys whispered to Azriel.

“You have spoken to her? Where is she? Is she alright?” Azriel’s heart beat quickly in his ribcage.

“We don’t have a lot of time. Follow the west path until you reach the crossing. Turn left and it’s the third house on your left. Go. Quickly.” Rhys instructed. Azriel didn’t stop to ask questions as he took off sprinting.

Every inch of his body fuelled with adrenaline as he slammed through the crowd. His heart had leaped into his mouth. He could hear his own blood pumping in his ears. Sweat dripped off his brow and he readied himself for a fight. The siphons at his hands glowing brightly in the dim light of the Hewn city.

He didn’t know if Cassian or Mor had followed him and he wasn’t about to slow his pace and find out. Rhys said that we didn’t have a lot of time. What did that mean? Was Y/N dying? No. He couldn’t think like that. He followed Rhys instructions to the letter.

Reaching the house, he slammed his whole body into the front door. He could feel exactly where she was. He could smell her fear as he ran through the small hallway of the house and to a room in the back. His eyes widened with fear at what he saw. Y/N had a chain wrapped around her neck, the life being drained from her as the male pulled tightly.

Azriel didn’t pause, not even for a second. His fist collided so hard with the males cheek that he heard the crack of bones. Pure rage took over Azriel as he lifted the male effortlessly from Y/N. He slammed him against the wall, and again and again. His fists balled up in the males shirt. Another crack as the males head hit the hard stone wall for the fourth time.

He dropped the male and he fell limply to the floor, his heart had stopped beating in his chest. White hot burning anger flooded through Azriel’s body. Then he turned to see Y/N. Her body bruised and bloodied as it lay lifeless on the floor. He ran to her side, falling to his knees as he unwrapped the chain from her neck.

“Y/N” he shook her gently. “Y/N, please wake up” tears began rolling down his cheeks. He couldn’t be too late. Not if he could still feel her. Not if he could still feel her heart beating weakly in her chest. The sight of her broke him. Her once full of life face was covered in her own blood, her hand mangled and broken. That’s when he sighted the binding at her wrist. He laid his siphon over the metal and broke it instantly. Her now free wrist dropping to her side.

“We need more time” Azriel’s voice cried as he sat there, clinging onto her. His breathing shaky as he watched her. Her skin was pale and bruised. She must have put up one hell of a fight. His chest tightened with every second that passed. Then, she took her first breath. Her chest expanded as her lungs filled with the damp air of the room. “Thank the mother” Azriel breathed.

Y/N’s eyes fluttered open, ever so slowly. Her beautiful eyes met his and he wept. Relief pounded through him as she weakly smiled up at him.

“Az?” her voice croaked. Her fragile hand reached up to caress his cheek. She was so cold but Azriel’s chest heaved as he held her. He was never going to let go ever again as his scared hand reached up to cover hers.

Azriel took a sudden deep breath as pained flooded through his chest. The daggers blade stuck straight through his back. The second the blade struck, he spun knocking the attacker off his feet.

Y/N pov:

Blood splattered across your face. Azriel’s blood. He moved so quickly from you to his attacker that you barely registered what had happened. Then you saw it. The dagger stuck between his wings. The hilt shining in the dim light of the room. “Azriel” you screamed.

Your father had been knocked to the floor but Azriel struggled to get up to his own feet as two more males entered the room. The two males attacked at the same time. Swords swinging in synchronisation as Azriel shielded from them. His siphons holding a bright blue shield over himself, over you. But the dagger in his back was leaving him weak. His movements hindered by the pain in his chest.

Despite the disadvantage that Azriel faced. He was still stronger and more skilled then his two opponents. They lunged at him but Azriel was quicker. He landed a fatal blow to one of his opponents. The other growled as he faced the Illyrian alone. Azriel’s movements were becoming sloppy. The dagger still buried in his back. You saw your father stirring, another dagger in his hand, ready to pounce.

It took all your strength to push yourself up onto your feet. Your legs buckled but they held firm. Reaching down, you grabbed the sword clenched by the fallen male with your unbroken hand. Just as your father was about to launch himself at Azriel, dagger in hand, you stepped in to shield him. Blocking the blow with the sword.

Your father bared his teeth at you. His black eyes, that you had given him, shone in the light. Alcohol covered his breath as you pushed him back. He stumbled drunkenly backwards. He tilted his head to one side. A gesture you knew all to well. It was a threat and a challenge. You could hear his voice in your head ‘What are you going to do about it?’.

You took a breath. Everything fell silent as you looked at the male who had inflicted so much pain and suffering on your life. The world seemed to disappear around you. You could feel dark shadows caressing your body. Soothing you and telling you everything was alright. Azriel was here, he was badly hurt but he was here. He had killed the second male, but he knew this fight was yours and yours alone.

That’s when you lunged forward as your sword sliced up in one swift movement. Your father fell to the floor, blood falling from the wound you had just inflicted. But he was still breathing as you leaned over him and whispered just loud enough for him to hear “This is for my mother”. You thrust the sword forward into his chest. His eyes widened briefly and you watched as the life faded from them.

Everything seemed to crash down on you at once. You fell to your knees as you dropped the sword to the floor. Strong, warm arms embraced you as tears flooded down your cheeks. “I’m here” Azriel whispered. “I’m so sorry” his voice cracked as you buried your head into his chest. You didn’t respond, you just clung onto him as tightly as you could.

Cassian arrived a second later, his eyes widening at the scene around him. The dagger still deep in Azriel’s back. “Good timing” Azriel taunted but he didn’t let go of you. Not once.

“Someone had to keep the peace back in the throne room” Cassian strode over the dead bodies to the two of you. “This is going to hurt” Cassian tapped the dagger in Azriel’s back.

“I’ve had worse” Azriel gritted his teeth as Cassian pulled the blade from his back.

“How the hell did you manage to get yourself stabbed Az?” Cassian held the knife out to him.

“I was a little preoccupied” Azriel tightened his grip on you as he rose from the floor. Pulling you up with him.

“Y/N, thank the mother” Cassian wiped a tear from your cheek. “Lets get you home and fixed up” he glanced at your bruises and broken hand.

Azriel followed Cassian out of the house, holding you tightly in his arm. Everything was a blur, your head was roaring so loud that you couldn’t hear what the two Illyrians were saying. Your father was dead. You had killed him. Your legs buckled at the thought as you followed Azriel through the Hewn city.

You arrived at a room. A large space with a boardroom table located in the middle. Your eyes were glazed over with tears, your body shook as you looked down at your bloodied hands. Your fathers face, flashing through your memory as his life left his body.

“Y/N” Mor stood from the table. Rushing over to you and pulling you from Azriel’s grip. You felt Azriel growl through his chest but he let you go reluctantly. The blonde female griped you so hard you had to bite your lip from screaming out in pain.

Rhys made his way over to you. His violet eyes assessing you. Mor had to keep a hold of you to stop you from falling. “Madja is already waiting for you once you return. You too Az” he calmly said. “Kier, I will be back tomorrow to discuss your access to my city. Deal or no, I will not stand for this. Clean up your mess and expect me at first light” Rhys voice thundered at the only other male in the room.

The male snarled as he stormed out the room without another word. You swallowed the hard lump building in your throat as Rhys turned to you. “Thank you” you whimpered. Unable to stop another flood of tears as they began to fall. He had heard you, he had sent Azriel to find you and you were alive because of it.

“You are safe now” Rhys paused, his eyes softening. “We are taking you home”.

You turned your attention to Azriel. His black hair a mess as it pressed to his wet brow. The bags under his eyes were visible from here, he clearly hadn’t slept much since you had gone missing. His blue siphons glowed brightly as your eyes met his hazel. You reached for him, stumbling out of Mors grasp.

He reached out to you, catching you before you fell. He pulled you up and close to his chest. His warm embrace being the only thing that felt like home to you. You pulled back, glancing up at him. His beautiful face tearing you from the horror of what just happened. Tears stained his eyes as he placed a soft kiss on your brow.

“I am never letting you go” he whispered softly as the shadows began to surround you. The world around you faded into darkness.

#acotar #acotar fandom #acotar fanfiction #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel x you #batboys #cassian #rhysand

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miss-shawdowsinger · 1 year

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AHHHH SOOTHING DARKNESS IS SO GOOD! how many parts do you think it’ll be? i love it!!!

also hope you’re doing well <3

Hey!! Thank you so much 💗 I'm glad you like it! I haven't decided yet but I don't think it'll be too much longer......maybe another 3 chapters?! I'm doing good thanks, I hope you are too!!

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miss-shawdowsinger · 1 year

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Soothing Darkness - Azriel X reader fanfic

Chapter 13

Summary: Y/N is living her worst nightmares whilst Azriel tried to hold it together and find her.

Warnings: swearing and violence 🤬 a lot of angry az

AN: I am so overwhelmed with the support on this fic so I want to say thank you to everyone who is loving it!! I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much ❤️ I have done a bit from Az's pov so I hope you enjoy!!

Chapter 1

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Azriel’s pov:

Azriel sat in a large chair, accommodating his wings, in Rhys and Fayre’s house. He didn’t want to go back to the house of wind and face Cassian and Nesta. Not until he had Y/N by his side. The couple wasn’t at home anyway. They had gone out, taking Nyx for a walk around the city. Azriel’s shadows curled around his arms and neck. Comforting him as he sat in silence. Only one more hour and he would go to pick her up.

Although, the bond hadn’t been accepted yet, sleeping with Y/N last night had brought out the possessive territories that the bond holds over a male. Cassian had known this morning. He saw it on Azriel’s face as soon as he even glanced at Y/N. He couldn’t help it, the fury he felt when another male looked her way. Even if it was Cassian. He needed the fight to cool off, and better with Cassian then some random fae on the street. At least Cassian could hold his own.

They both fought hard. Pummelling each other into the ground. The mating bond somehow giving Azriel even more endurance and force behind each movement. Cassian gave his best in return. The only thing stopping them from brutally injuring the other is how skilled they both were in defence. There endurance could only last so long, before Azriel came out of the bonds haze. Cassian had landed one last punch to his stomach, knocking the wind right out of him for good measure. He didn’t expect that when he returned, Y/N would be nowhere to be seen. Azriel scanned each of the females faces but she was gone.

“Y/N isn’t here” Nesta quietly informed him. She stood up tall, but he could smell the guilt on her.

“Where is she?” he asked calmly, although his head was spinning.

“I’m sorry Az. I thought she knew. I smelt you on her this morning and Elain had told me about you finding your mate” she paused. “I told her about the mating bond”. Azriel growled, his face turning into a scowl. Cassian stood in between his mate and him, blocking her from any uncharacteristic attacks. Azriel didn’t even give himself time to think. He knew the only place Y/N would go. So, he took off without a word and headed for the bakery.

He twirled a small glass of Rhys’ best whiskey around in a tumbler before taking a long sip. Azriel very rarely felt nervous but waiting for Y/N felt like a lifetime. He didn’t care if she needed space to process. He would wait another century if she needed it. It was what she had said earlier that day that stuck with him. The question scraping along his mind like a sharp dagger.

‘Do you think I am a monster?’

She had said no. But he knew the truth. He knew all the things he had done in his life. He was the High lords spymaster, of course he had done terrible things. Unspeakable things. When the mating bond snapped into place he was terrified. He had longed for it, for someone to love who could love him in return. Especially after seeing his two brothers so damn happy. But how could someone love him after everything he had done?

How could Y/N love him if she knew? She had been through enough in her childhood, like he had but if she ever knew that he inflicted that pain on others…..how could she love that? He wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t. Azriel had been able to feel her emotions all day. She felt a mixture of everything at first and then just pure fear. He told himself to ignore it, that at the end of the day they would talk and work things out.

Azriel took a long deep breath before finishing his glass of whiskey. It was time to go and see her. He brushed himself off as he disappeared into the shadows.

He arrived at the bakery window. Surprised to see the light was still on and the door unlocked, it was way past closing time and Y/N was usually very punctual when it came to closing. Azriel stepped into the empty shop.

“Y/N” he called out but there wasn’t a reply. Everything looked to be in place apart from a few coins that were spread across the shop floor. “Y/N” he called again. He pushed down the slight panic creeping up through him and decided to go to her apartment upstairs.

The apartment was empty. He checked every room, including the cleaning cupboard. Now he knew something was wrong. Y/N never left the shop unless the door was locked. It was the one thing that Azriel found amusing about the night of the attack. The window was completely smashed in, but she still locked the doors.

He called out through the bond, pulling on it. If she didn’t want to see him that was fine, but he needed to know she was safe. There was no answer. Azriel clenched his fists trying to steady his mind but it was too late. His shadows exploded as his mind screamed out.

‘Azriel, what is it?’ Rhys’ voice appeared in his head.

‘Y/N is missing’ Azriel thundered back.

Not a second later Rhys winnowed into the shop. His violet eyes scanning the shop floor. “Are you sure she hasn’t just gone out?”

“Do you think I would call you here if I thought that?” Azriel had to stop himself from lashing out at his high lord. It took all his strength to stand in one place.

“Cassian hasn’t seen her” Rhys confirmed. “We will find her, Az” he tentatively placed a hand on Azriel’s shoulder. He had barely even made contact when Azriel snapped up and grabbed Rhys’ wrist, baring his teeth.

“If someone has harmed her” he growled. A deep threatening, deathlike growl. “I will kill them……slowly”.

“I understand” Rhys’ violet eyes met his hazel ones. “More then anything, I understand. But Az, you need to tell me. Is there anyone that would have taken Y/N?”.

Azriel’s blood turned cold. “No one from Velaris” he finally let go of Rhys’ wrist. “Has anyone from the Court of Nightmares been here today?”.

Rhys’ eyes widened “Tell me everything”.

Y/N pov:

Your eyes blinked open slowly. There was a pounding in your head and some warm liquid was running down your face. Blood. You could smell it as you let your eyes adjust to the dim light in the room. The room was empty apart from you and the chains. The chains that bound at your wrists and connected to the hinge on the wall.

The only noise was the dripping on the damp, cold walls. It smelt like death in this room and it was emanating from you. You swallowed hard but your dry throat struggled against you. The last thing you remember is seeing your brother, then next thing you woke up here. At least you were still alive.

How long had you been knocked out? You attempted to squeeze your hands through the bound chains but it was useless. The pounding on your head grew with each movement you made. The moist air made it uncomfortable to breath as you slumped on the ground. You needed to find a way out, somehow.

Footsteps approached the door. You pushed yourself as close to the wall as you could get but there was no hiding in this empty room. The door swung open with such force, it shook the whole room. It was like looking back in time. The man before you had grown but he still wore the same features he had when he was just a boy. His dark hair covered his brow as his piercing blue eyes found yours.

“Your awake” he snarled as he closed the door behind him. “Finally”.

“Jasker” you voice barely croaked out his name.

“More to the point you are alive. After all these years, I thought you were dead. What about mother? Is she out there somewhere too?” he leant against the wall opposite where you were sat. His arms crossed over his chest as he assessed you.

“No” was all you managed to say.

“I saw the picture of you and her in your apartment” he growled. “Either you are lying, or she hasn’t been dead long”.

“She died in the attack on Velaris a couple of years ago” you spat at him.

“Ahh” he bowed his head for a second. He pulled a small dagger from a sheath on his belt and flipped it around in his fingers. Assessing the blade.

“Why are you doing this?” your voice was shaky.

“Doing what? I haven’t done anything to you……yet” he smirked.

“After all these years. Could you not just leave me to live my life without your abuse” you stood up, pulling hard on the chains but they didn’t budge.

“What? Let you live in peace while you and mother abandoned me to a life in the Hewn City” he stepped closer to you, towering over you but you didn’t back away. You wouldn’t let him see the fear that was shaking you to your very core.

“Father left us both on the street to die” you screamed.

“You don’t think he’s done the same to me” Jasker spat back. “I’ve been left to die more time than I could count. I was nineteen when you left. I thought you were both dead. Imagine my surprise when I saw you in a bakery in some hidden city. Older but still you. Alive. What? You and mother just decided to leave me with the monster who tried to kill you. Did you even think about me after you left?”.

You fought to hold back the tears. “You were just as bad as him” you hissed. Anger raging through you at the memories of your childhood.

“I was a child. A child who tormented his little sister. A child who went through the same abuse as you, but no one saved me” his eyes darkened as they looked down at you. Your throat tightened as you stared up at the boy you used to know. Everything he went through had shaped him into this.

“Jasker – I…” you were cut off as the door swung open once more. You looked, as the face that haunted your nightmares stared back at you. He looked exactly how you remembered him.

His dark hair matched his almost black eyes. He wasn’t as tall as your brother but he was broad. A small, rough beard grew over his jaw. The male strode in through the door, his outfit was pristine, but you could already smell the alcohol on his breath.

“I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen for myself”. You shuddered at the sound of his voice. “Y/N, welcome back home” your father smiled. His teeth bared like the devil himself.

Your voice failed you. You had nightmares about this moment. They would wake you from your sleep in a cold sweated panic. But this was no longer a dream, your father and brother both stood before you. You were helpless, tied down by chains. The room you stood in now came into focus. It was your old bedroom, back at the Hewn City. You had prayed to the mother to never set your eyes on these walls again but here you were.

You closed your eyes, hoping that you had just fallen asleep. Hoping you would wake up and Azriel would be there, pulling you tightly to his chest. You opened your eyes, but you were still in your worst nightmare.

“Let me have a look at you” your father stood over you. Looking at you up and down. He then took a cold, spindled finger and ran it across the scar on your neck. Pain surged through you as his talon like fingers traced the jiggered line.

Your body moved on muscle memory alone. Your leg swept round in one quick unexpected movement. Knocking your father to the floor, his head cracking on the hard surface. Within the second you were on him, striking him with everything you had. You landed punches to his head, cracking his nose and jaw. The added weight of the chains helping to break bones.

Something struck you hard in the chest and you fell backwards onto the ground. The wind was knocked out of you. Catching your breath, you sat up, watching as your brother pulled your father out of your reach. The only reason you had managed to strike so many blows was because you had surprised him. You knew that no matter how strong you were now, you were nothing in compared to your brother.

You launched forward one last time, anger and fear egging you on. Your arms snagged backwards, nearly knocking you off balance as the chains wrapped round your wrist reached its length. They were just out of reach.

“He won’t forget this” Jasker snarled as he dragged your unconscious farther from the room.

“I hope not” you snarled as he closed the door and left you alone.

Azriel pov:

It had been a whole day since Y/N had gone missing. Azriel hadn’t slept at all. There was no sign of her and no matter how much Azriel pushed, Rhys refused to storm the Hewn City.

“We have to be clever about this. I have sent word to Kier that we will be visiting tonight” Rhys informed him calmly.

“Rhys is right Azriel. You will wage war in our own court if you just storm in and knock everyone down in your path” Fayre patted him lightly on the shoulder. “We will get her back” she smiled sweetly.

“And what’s the plan when we get there?” Cassian leaned his two knuckles on Rhys’ desk. “We can’t just raid every room in the city”.

“If Az is right and someone from the city has taken Y/N then Kier won’t stand for it” Rhys rubbed his temples.

“You are trusting Kier with this?” Mor furrowed her brows.

“That’s not what I’m saying” Rhys reassured her. “Whoever took her won’t know her connections to us. Once they realise, they won’t be stupid enough to keep her. Kier knows far better then anyone the consequences of crossing us”.

“And what if that doesn’t work?” Azriel growled. “What then Rhys?”.

“She is your mate Azriel. You will be able to feel her” Rhys looked at Azriel, sorrow in his eyes. Azriel hated that look. The way they were all looking at him. Like she was already dead.

“I can barely feel her now” he clenched is jaw. He didn’t know how much more of this he could take. They all sat in a comfy office while Y/N was mother knows where, probably getting hurt.

“Don’t think like that” Cassian pulled his attention away from his thoughts. “It’ll drive you mad. Trust me, I know”

Azriel felt his whole body tensing, no matter how much he tried to clear his head, it roared at him to move. To do something, to find Y/N. He was going to be sick. His blood ran cold as the group around him strategized the night. While Azriel thought about what he was going to do to the culprits behind this. How he would kill them.

“So Mor, Cassian, Az and I will go” Rhys confirmed. “Meet back here in an hour” he dismissed the group but Azriel didn’t budge. Where would he go? The hour was going to be torcher. So, he stayed planted in his seat while the others left the room. “Azriel, I know what you are going through” Rhys began when there was just the two of them left.

“Don’t” Azriel clenched his teeth. “I don’t care right now about what you or Cassian or anybody has gone through. You got them back. I haven’t gotten Y/N back and until I do you can’t tell me what I am going through” his deathly voice gritted. He gripped the arms of the chair so hard, the whites of his knuckled showed.

“I will do everything in my power to get her back” Rhys promised.

“I know” Azriel blinked. He trusted Rhys and he knew that he would do anything to help him but the fear Azriel felt was clouding his judgment. Every second that went by could be the fatal blow.

The hour had past dangerously slow. Azriel’s shadows were the only thing keeping him from erupting. They closed around his body, soothingly whispering to him. He now stood in the foyer of the house. Waiting for everyone to be ready.

Mor was going to winnow Cassian while Rhys and Azriel winnowed themselves. Mor went first, making sure that Azriel didn’t get there first and loose all sense of control. Azriel followed behind, wrapping himself in his shadows. The world suddenly turned to black, shadows curling around him until his feet hit solid ground. He stepped into the dim light of the Hewn City. Azriel hated this place, almost as much as he hated Windhaven. His feet began moving as his chest heaved, he could feel her. A solid hand grabbed his arm pulling him back.

“Don’t loose your head” Cassian warned.

“When have I ever done that?” Azriel growled, plastering his unreadable mask over his features. Rhys emerged from his own darkness, his violet eyes taking in the dimly lit hallway.

“Let’s move. Stay behind me” he directed the last order to Azriel. He nodded once and followed closely behind his high lord.

They moved calmly through the hallway into the crowded throne room. Rhys didn’t so much as lift a finger and the whole room flooded with the feeling of his power. The room fell silent as Rhys moved through the room. Everyone bowed down to him as he approached his throne at the front of the room.

Azriel, Cassian and Mor flanked him as he sat on his hauntingly beautiful throne. Azriel looked out over the crowd. Each one a cowardly snake in his eyes. He clenched his fists as he felt down the bond. Pleading to the mother to feel her reach back for him.

“Rise” Rhys instructed, and the room rose from their bows. Kier stepped forward addressing Rhysand directly.

“What do we owe the pleasure of your presence this evening Rhysand? It’s not the holidays yet” Kier sneered. He knew just how to play this game of cat and mouse. Thankfully, so did Rhys.

“A girl was taken from Velaris during your last visit Kier. Return her. Now.” Rhys demanded. No threats needed as his power pulsed around the room.

“You are accusing my people of kidnapping a girl” Kier’s eyes narrowed.

“It is not an accusation Kier” Rhys casually picked a piece of invisible lint from his jacket. “I can feel her here”. Azriel could sense the lie but Kier didn’t know the extent of Rhys’ power. “If she is not returned before I get bored, I will send my men in. The fae who stole her will deal with the consequences of my Shadowsinger. Anyone who stands in their way will also be delt with accordingly. Do you understand?” Rhys’ tone was that of someone incredibly bored. The face he always put on when visiting the Hewn City. But his violet eyes burnt through Kier with violent intent.

Chapter 14

#acotar #acotar fandom #acotar fanfiction #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel x you #batboys #cassian #rhysand

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miss-shawdowsinger · 1 year

Text

Soothing Darkness - Azriel X reader fanfic

Chapter 12

Summary: the aftermath of Azriel and Y/N sleeping together didn't go to plan...

Warnings: SMUT 🥵 Please do not read unless over 18 years of age!! Swearing and violence

AN: All I can say is I'm really sorry 🙈🥵 I hope you are still enjoying reading this story! Let me know what you think ❤️

Chapter 1

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No interruptions indeed. You had barely slept all night. It was as if you had lost all control of yourself because you couldn’t keep your hands off Azriel. You craved more of him. The ecstasy he could put you through each and every time was addictive. Just the thought of his taste on your lips, his body pressed tightly against yours, him between your legs was enough to set you over the edge.

You woke from a brief rest encased in his wings and arms. His naked body still pressed up against yours. You felt yourself moving before you could register it. Moving your hips backwards into his already hard arousal. He growled in your ear. A sound you had already grown very found of.

“Coffee?” you whispered. He pulled you in tightly against his chest before nodding once. You pried his arms off you, it took all your strength to try and break free but you couldn’t budge him. “If you want a coffee, you need to let go” you laughed.

“I don’t want one that badly” his morning voice was a deep rasp that sent shivers down your spine.

“I’ll come back” you assured him. He begrudgingly let his grip on you go limp and you crawled out of the bed. You quickly grabbed a t-shirt and your underwear, putting it on before making your way over to the kitchen. Glancing over your shoulder to the bed, Azriel was now sat up with one arm resting behind his head. You tried to ignore the growing heat between your legs, the urge to run back and jump on him. His body was incredibly toned, even as he sat so casually.

Taking a shaky breath, you began making the drinks. Fighting the urge to turn around. What was wrong with you? You had never been like this with a male. But no one had ever made you feel the way Azriel did.

As you were about to pour the steaming hot water into the two mugs. You heard Azriel move from the bed, his footsteps getting closer to you. Your breath hitched as you felt his presence behind you. “Forget the coffee” his voice growled in your ear. He moved your hair away from your neck and trailed hot kisses up from your shoulder to your jaw. Your knees nearly buckled as you tilted your head for him.

He moved you to the kitchen table, still standing closely behind you. He tapped your calves with his foot, indicating for you to widen your stance. You swallowed hard before doing as he instructed, just like he had in training. One of his hands held you at your hip while the other pushed your back slightly, leaning you down over the table. You could feel him eyeing you up as you bent over in front of him. He moved his hand from your back and traced his fingertips up your bare thigh, ever so slowly.

You began whimpering. Your growing need for him was getting unbearable. He grazed your core over your laced underwear. “Already, ready for me” Azriel used one finger to pull your underwear to one side. Tracing his fingers lightly through your arousal. You moaned, gripping the edge of the table.

He torturously slowly pushed two of his fingers inside you. You bit your lip to supress the moans as he began pumping in and out of you. But you needed more then just his fingers. You knew he could make you come undone with his fingers alone, but you needed him. With him, you felt more then pleasure. More then anything you could have ever imagined.

“Az, I need you” you moaned as he continued working you. Your torso pressed hard against the table.

“Good girl” Azriel removed his fingers, leaving you feeling empty. You managed to catch your breath before you felt him. He covered himself in your arousal before lining up with your entrance. He thrusted into you, hard. Your breath was taken away as he buried himself inside of you. His body pressed tightly to your ass.

He moved quickly and hard as he pounded into you. One hand gripped your hip as the other snaked round to rub small circles into your small bundle of nerves. Your legs nearly gave way as the pleasure rose up in the pit of your stomach. But Azriel kept you in place. Everything erupted within you. You could barely breath as waves of pleasure swept over you. Azriel kept thrusting as he rode out his own pleasure.

Azriel pulled out of you and swept you up in his arms. Carrying you back to the bed and placing you down softly. You curled up in the sheets as he sat on the edge of the bed catching his breath. “How do you take your coffee?” he smirked as he placed a small kiss to your brow.

“Milk, one sugar” you smiled.

“You better get ready for training while I make them” he softly swept a long strand of hair out of your face before kissing you softly. You fought every urge to pull him down onto the bed. You realised that was why he sat instead of laying down with you. It was already 8:10am and your self-control with one another was questionable after last night and again this morning.

Cassian was waiting for you as you arrived at the training rings. Somehow you managed to get there ten minutes before training had even started. Azriel placed you down softly, holding you until you found your footing. Your legs were slightly wobbly from all the activities of last night.

“Kissed and made up then?” Cassian smirked, his arms crossed over his chest. Azriel shook his head, a small smile ghosting his lips. “Not too sore for training Y/N?” Azriel tensed at Cassian question.

“You are a wind up” you grated.

“Az clearly not up to the job of making it up to you if you are still standing” he continued. His eyes were full of taunt as he stared down Azriel. You looked between the two males. Azriel’s fists were balled up so tightly, his knuckles were white. Cassian began to smile before he said “Maybe someone else could do a better job”.

Azriel lunged forward. His fist colliding with Cassian’s cheek. Cassian was knocked back a couple of steps before he began laughing. He rubbed at his jaw before putting his own fists up and gesturing for Azriel to try again. “Azriel” you shouted but he was gone. A raging trance had taken over him as he lashed out everything he had at Cassian.

“Come on Az, you can do better then that” Cassian spread his wings and launched up into the air. Azriel followed in an instant, without hesitation. You stared up as they disappeared into the distance.

What the hell had just happened? Why did Cassian decide to act like a total prick to his ‘brother’? The sky was cloudless, but you could no longer see the two Illyrians. You kept your eyes fixed on where you had lost sight of them but noises from behind you pulled your attention away. The priestesses and others were beginning to gather at the training rings. How were you going to explain what had just happened? The groups only instructors had flown off, trying to kill each other.

“Where is Cassian?” Nesta approached you.

“I – I don’t actually know” you furrowed your eyebrows. “Him and Azriel just took off” you pointed to the skies. Nesta sniffed the air before narrowing her eyes at you.

“Right” she addressed the group. “Warm up, we will be doing strengthening exercises today”. The group followed her instructions. Falling into the training rings and beginning their warm ups. You began to walk away from her and begin your own warm ups when she stopped you. “Not you” she snarled and gestured you to follow her.

You followed behind Nesta, back into the house. Out of earshot from the rest of the group before she turned to you. “What happened last night?” she crossed her arms as her stare burnt into you. Her jaw was clenched as she monitored your every move.

“What do you mean?” you took a tentative step back.

“You know what I mean” she narrowed her eyes. “You leave my sisters house, refusing to come back to the house of wind with no explanation. Then this morning you reek of Azriel. Cassian and him are nowhere to be seen but you are miraculously here…… I won’t ask again, what happened last night?”.

Your heart was in your mouth as she stared you down. You knew you couldn’t lie, you wouldn’t get out of it this time. Of course she smelt Azriel all over you, you hadn’t had time to have a full bath this morning. “Last night Azriel came to my apartment” you shifted your weight uncomfortably.

“You slept together” Nesta hissed. Your palms were sweaty as you nodded once. “So it’s you. The fae he told my sister about last night?”

“I – What?” you furrowed your brow.

“He told Elain last night that nothing would happen between them. He said he’d met someone…” she paused, looking you up and down. “His mate”. Your eyes snapped up to meet Nesta’s. The colour drained from your skin, leaving you with goosebumps. “Why didn’t you just tell me” Nesta shook her head.

“His what?” your voice rasped, barely above a whisper. Nesta took a step back in surprise before clasping a hand over her own mouth. “His what?” you repeated. Your voice was demanding as your body shook.

“I thought……” she murmured. “Shit, Elain said not to say anything but I just assumed you knew”. You stared at Nesta, unmoving. Could it be possible? Is that what the snap was last night? No. It couldn’t be. You had always thought that if you ever met your mate you would know instantly it was them. Yes, you had always been attracted to Azriel and something about him called out to you but you never thought it would be the mating bond.

“I have to go” you turned on your heels. Adrenaline pumping through your body. You didn’t care how many steps stood between you and your bakery. You needed to leave, and this was your only option.

“Y/N, wait” Nesta called out to you but your heart beating in your ears drowned her out. You reached the staircase and began the decent. Step by step you circled down the staircase. Your mind was racing, through every feeling you had towards Azriel. How long had he been aware? To tell Elain last night, he must have known. Either that or he was making it all up.

Your legs were burning but you didn’t care. Each step brought you closer and closer to your bakery. You didn’t know exactly what you were going to do once you got there but you knew you couldn’t face training. Not now.

Somehow and after a long while you reached the bottom. Your chest was on fire, each breath you took was a struggle. Your legs threatened to buckle with each step you took but you forced them to move. Nearly there, you would remind yourself. The streets of Velaris were beginning to get busier as the day began. You ignored every passer by as you marched down the cobbled walkways.

Azriel was your mate?

He couldn’t be. Could he?

You reached the bakery, rushing inside and slamming the door behind you. You took the steps to your apartment two at a time. The bedsheets were still a mess from where you and Azriel had laid last night. Two coffee mugs still sat next to the kitchen sink. You blinked once, then again. The room smelt of him. The smell filling your nostrils as you took deep breaths. You slumped into one of the chairs next to the fireplace.

You don’t know how long you sat in the chair, staring at the empty fireplace. Every thought crossing your mind all at once. You couldn’t get a grip on your emotions. This morning you had been so incredibly happy. Now, you felt a mixture of happiness, anxiousness, ager, fear and excitement all wrapped into one.

A loud knock at the door pulled you from your thoughts but you decided to ignore it. Instead, you stayed curled up on the chair. Hugging your knees to your chest. Another knock. You stayed quiet, hoping whoever it was would think you weren’t in and leave. Shadows seemed to form in the corner of the room. Swirling as if the darkness was dancing with the light. You watched unflinching as Azriel stepped out of them and into the room. He was covered in sweat and dirt. He had bruises all across his knuckles. His hair was a mess, covering his brow. Looks like the fight with Cassian had been brutal.

“Y/N” he approached you slowly. “Let me explain” he held his hands up in surrender. Nesta must have told him what had happened when they got back to the house.

“Is it true?” you stared at him. His eyes softened as he crouched in front of you. His siphons shone bright blue hues around the room. “Is it true that we are mates?” your voice cracked.

“Yes” his jaw tightened. His hazel eyes met yours.

“How long have you known?” you furrowed your brows. You wanted to be mad at him, you wanted to shout at him, but his presence had a calming influence over you.

“A while” he paused. “I didn’t mean for you to find out like this. I was hoping you would have felt it by now”.

“How long is a while?” you pressed. “A week? Since Starfall?”. Azriel bowed his head to look at the floor. He sighed deeply and then looked back up at you.

“I had a feeling since the day I met you but it clicked into place for me at Nesta’s winter solstice ball. It was after our dance when Elain stepped in. Something snapped and I didn’t want to let you go” Azriel stared at you, hope in his eyes.

You stood up from the chair and began pacing. Nervous energy getting the better of you. Azriel stood and watched you, not daring to move any closer. “You’ve known all this time and didn’t tell me. Why?” you carried on pacing. You couldn’t look at Azriel, you knew if you did then you would forget how angry you were. You had questions and he needed to answer them. So you concentrated on looking elsewhere, anywhere other then at him.

“I wanted you to make your own decision about me. I didn’t want to force the bond upon you…. I wanted you to care for me on your own terms” his voice didn’t faulter. He was telling the truth.

“And you?” you shook your head. “Without the bond, would you care for me?” you looked at him, standing frozen in your position. This was the question you were most scared of. Your heart was beating uncontrollably in your chest. Each second that went by felt like a lifetime.

“Of course I would” he tensed. “Bond or no bond, I would care for you Y/N. The day you got attacked, I had never felt such fear and anger. Seeing you hurt made me want to do horrible things to every last person in that fucking city” Azriel tensed his fists, his knuckles turning white. “I felt you that night. I wasn’t just out and in the right place at the right time. I felt your fear as my own. I got here as fast as I could. If Rhys hadn’t gotten here as quickly as he had, there is no telling what I would have done” his chest heaved as he recalled the night.

“Your nightmare?” you questioned. “I woke up feeling your fear. I heard you but you weren’t screaming. Was that…?”. Azriel nodded and you took a shaky breath. You felt a sudden tug in your chest towards him. Quickly, you covered your heart with your hand.

“You felt it” Azriel whispered. “The pull of the bond. The first time I felt it was that first day we trained, just the two of us. I felt something pulling me to the training rings. When I saw you there, I couldn’t help but stay. Week in, week out I wanted to be the one to help you. I felt that you needed me” he approached you and you let him. He gently took one of your hands in his.

“I’m scared” you admitted. Along with all the other emotions you felt, fear was by far the biggest. His eyes softened as he caressed your cheek and placed a warm kiss on your brow. “My father and mother shared the mating bond” you swallowed. “My mother said it was a curse. She had no choice but to be with a monster”.

Azriel took a small step away from you. His hazel eyes assessing your own. “Do you think I am a monster?” he asked, his voice nearly breaking.

“No Azriel” you shook your head. That was the farthest thought from your mind. Azriel was no monster, not even close. “I just – I was always told it was something to fear and now I don’t know what to think” a tear rolled down your cheek.

“I would never hurt you Y/N” Azriel wiped the tear away. “Never. I understand it’s a lot to take in but I’m here. I’ll always be here when you need me” he silently promised.

It had been a long morning. You were mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. You had asked Azriel to give you some space, just for the afternoon. He had excepted without hesitation and agreed to pick you up at the end of the day.

Being left alone with your own thoughts sounded like torcher so you put your mind into your work. You began baking, using new recipes that you had been wanting to try for a long time. The shop was quiet as usual, so you decided to think of new recipes too. Anything to keep your mind from wondering to Azriel.

The usual customers filtered in and out throughout the afternoon. You felt yourself trying to engage them in convocation, which was unusual for you. You wanted to talk to someone. Someone who could tell you about there day. One that wasn’t filled with training or Illyrians. But there was still a quiet gap between customers, ones that filled your thoughts full of him.

It all started to make sense. Why you had been so drawn to him. Why you had heard him scream when no one else had. It had clicked into place last night and you had just brushed it off as the best sex you have ever had. How stupid could you be? Deep down you never thought you would ever meet your mate, never mind it being Azriel.

You were so deep in your own thoughts that you hadn’t even realised that three young fae males had entered your shop. You finally snapped out of your trance to find one of them leaning over your counter, trying to grasp your attention.

“Three of these, sweetheart” the male pointed at what he wanted. You decided to ignore the nickname and proceeded to bag what the male ordered. “Hurry up, I haven’t got all day” the male demanded, earning a snicker from the other two.

You told him the total and he threw the coins at you. They landed at your feet, rolling back onto the shop floor. You breathed a loud and angry breath as the male turned his back to leave. The door opened and the male left the shop, his two friends following behind. You bent down to collect the coins.

You grabbed the last coin when a pair of black leather boots stepped in front of you. Looking up, you could only make out small features of the male stood over you. He had dark brown hair, a crooked nose and bright blue eyes. “I’ll be damned” his voice was familiar, but you couldn’t place it.

You stood up and took a step back, allowing yourself to see the male properly. The male was older then when you last saw him. His features contorted into a smile as he took a step closer to you. Your heart stopped beating as realisation hit you. Your body frozen in place as the male closed in.

“I thought you were dead” the male sneered. Your eyes widened but your limbs failed you. You couldn’t move. “Hello, little sister”.

Chapter 13

#acotar fandom #acotar #acotar fanfiction #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel x you #batboys #cassian

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miss-shawdowsinger · 1 year

Text

ACOTAR x Reader Appreciation Post

Hi everyone!

I hope you’re all doing amazing! 💙

I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate all of the amazing writers of this fandom who write for ACOTAR x Reader, taking their time curating fics for all of us to enjoy.

I adore and admire each and every single one of you!

Please go and take a read at their incredible works, you will not be disappointed!

If I’ve forgotten anyone please tag them or message me so I can properly add them to the list! 💙

Keep reading

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miss-shawdowsinger · 1 year

Note

I love your fanfic with azriel😍😍😍

Thank you so much!! I'm glad you love it ❤️❤️

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miss-shawdowsinger · 1 year

Text

Soothing Darkness - Azriel X reader fanfic

Chapter 11

Summary: the family dinner didn't exactly go to plan at Y/N gets jealous of Elain and Azriel

Warnings: SMUT 🥵!! Please so not read unless you are over 18!

AN: 🥵🥵🥵 so this happened! Please let me know what you think! I don't know how good I am at writing SMUT ❤️ strap in guys it's gonna be a bumpy ride!

Chapter 1

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You had all of five minutes to get ready and be at the training rings. Somehow you managed to pull on your leathers and tie your hair back into a messy ponytail in record time. However, as you made it to the rings, Cassian waited with his arms folded over his chest.

“You’re late” he scowled as he tilted his head to one side.

“I’m two minutes late” you rolled your eyes at the clock at the side of the ring.

“Two minutes could make a big difference on the battlefield” Cassian raised his brow as he looked down at you. “Oh, and here is another late one” he gestured back to the door. You turned to find Azriel stepping out into the rings. “What a coincidence” Cassian almost whispered as the spymaster approached you both.

Azriel’s face was near unreadable except for the small tug at the side of his mouth when he saw you. His hair was neatly out of his face and he looked pristine as always in his usual training attire. He came to stand beside you as Cassian shook his head at the both of you. Your cheeks turned a light shade of pink and you bit your bottom lip slightly, not daring to look at either of the Illyrians.

“Did you manage to get enough sleep Az? You looked tired when you got in last night” Cassian smirked.

“Thanks for your concern Cass. I had plenty” Azriel’s deep voice laced with smugness. You wanted to run and hide from this convocation.

“Then why so tense?” Cassian smiled wickedly as Azriel’s face turned dark. He clenched his fists into tight ball, turning his knuckles white.

“I’m going to go warm up” you stepped in pulling the two Illyrians attention to you. Cassian nodded his dismissal as you backed away from them and into the training ring. That was one convocation you could do without today.

Training had been intense. Cassian had put you all through your paces as he assembled an assault course for you to do. It had been a mix of climbing, crawling, fighting with swords or fists all whilst being timed. Your lungs were on fire as you tackled the course with ferocious energy. Making sure your mind was blank, you let your body do all the work. Muscle memory was your friend and you were the fourth quickest out of the group. Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn coming in the top three.

As you finished at training your body was a trembling mess as sweat dripped from you. The heat from the spring sun did nothing to help cool you down as you sat gulping water. “Nice work today” Nesta came to sit beside you.

“Thanks” you said between breaths. She sniffed the air around you.

“You smell of…..” she paused.

“Sweat? I’m absolutely drenched, I think I’m going to go take a bath instead of joining you at lunch. I’ll just grab something at the bakery” you smiled, pushing yourself up from the floor.

“That’s not what I….never mind” she shrugged. “Remember to meet at Fayre’s house tonight” she narrowed her eyes. “Don’t forget”.

“I won’t forget. No one will be there to pick me up from the bakery anyway” you held both your hands up in innocence before heading into the house for a much deserved bath.

You paused outside the gate to the High Lord and Lady’s ‘house’. It was not a house at all. It was a huge estate with a beautiful, in bloom, garden. It looked like something out of one of your fairy tale stories. Taking a deep breath, you shakily opened the gate and stepped onto the grounds. All day you had been worried about tonight. You had already met everybody but this was a whole different situation.

At the end of the day, you had raided your wardrobe in your little apartment above the bakery. There wasn’t a lot of options, but you wanted to look presentable. You ended up wearing a simple emerald green dress that you have had for years. Nesta had given you the address before you left that morning. The street was full of huge houses but none of them compared to this one.

You approached the front door and knocked quietly. Your stomach flipped as you waited for someone to let you in. There was shuffling coming from inside as you watched a figure approach the door through the frosted glass. The door swung open to reveal the beautiful blonde fae wearing a red dress which left little to the imagination.

“Y/N, so glad you didn’t bail on us” Mor hugged you. “Come in, you look lovely” she politely looked at you up and down as you stepped inside. The foyer was huge, with painted pictured hung on the walls. Each painting was more stunning and detailed from the last. You could hear loud convocation and laughter from the room that Mor was leading you too.

The dining room was bright and warm. It was very grandly decorated but still looked homely. All eyes landed on you as Mor led you through the door. Your heart momentarily stopped as you gained everyone’s attention. “Hi everyone” your voice squeaked out.

“So glad you came Y/N” Fayre stood from her seat and passed you a glass of wine as the chatter continued.

“Thank you for inviting me” you smiled shyly.

“I honestly was 50/50 on if you would come at all or hide in your bakery” Nesta joined your side, clinking her glass against yours.

“Have I ever let you down before?” you raised your brow at her.

“Starfall, you ran off somewhere” she tilted her head. Your cheeks flashed pink at the memory.

“I’m surprised you can still stand after this morning” Cassian shouted from his seat. “You looked like you were going to pass out after training”.

“You’ll have to do better then that” you smirked.

“I’m sure Az can think of something” Cassian raised his glass gesturing to the seat opposite him. Azriel was sat casually with one ankle resting on his knee, a whiskey in his hands. Your eyes widened at Cassian’s comment in front of the whole group. “Any training techniques come to mind, Az?” Cassian smirked.

Azriel’s grip tightened slightly on his glass before taking a long sip. His hazel eyes finally landed on you. “I can think of a few things” his voice was painfully low and then a smile appeared on his lips before he took another long sip. Your knees nearly gave way as his eyes never left yours. Images of this morning flashed through your head. You had to steady your breathing as Azriel gave you a knowing look.

“Oh don’t be so cruel, you are supposed to be training her not trying to kill her” Mor thankfully interrupted before anything else was said.

“Take a seat girl” Amren pointed to a space beside her on the opposite side of the room. You moved across the room to sit beside her as convocations began flowing again. Mor and Nesta came over to join you as the four of you chatted by the small fire.

“Y/N, if you ever want a proper training session, then come to me” Mor poured you another wine.

“Is that so Morrigan?” Cassian interrupted. “You think you could train her better?”.

“Not better. Just smarter” she winked at you.

“Play nicely children” Amren tutted as Mor and Cassian scowled at one another.

You settled into the group of people surrounding you quite easily. It helped that you were already close with Nesta, Cassian and Azriel but everyone else was so welcoming. Amren was the only one out of the group you couldn’t quite figure out. She had been pleasant, but you didn’t want to find yourself on her bad side.

Elain appeared in the doorway and your chest tightened slightly. How could you have forgotten about Elain? She wore a pretty light blue dress and her hair was perfectly braided. Her eyes scanned the room before landing on Azriel. You looked between the two of them out of instinct. She smiled a bright, blushing smile at the Illyrian. “Dinner is ready” she announced to the room gesturing for people to take their seats at the dinning table.

Everyone seemed to move at once to take their seats at the table. You followed closely behind, taking the last empty chair next to Mor. Azriel was sat opposite you as Elain slipped gracefully into the chair next to him. You swallowed hard, focusing your gaze on your plate instead of the two opposite you.

“I made your favourite for desert” you listened as Elain spoke softly to Azriel.

“Thank you” he smiled sweetly at her. You could feel your blood pumping hot through your body as you listened to their convocation.

Elain hadn’t even acknowledged you as the evening went on, which irritated you more than it should have. Instead she only spoke to Azriel, listing all the new plants she had tended too in the garden as you ate quietly. “After dinner we should take a talk and I’ll show you. They look lovely in the moonlight” she placed a soft hand over his. You fought to swallow your food as your throat constricted. Azriel just nodded in response, knocking the wind right out of you.

After that you tried to ignore their convocation entirely. Cassian was challenging Mor and winding Amren up about something or other, all whilst getting scolded by Nesta. That seemed more like something you would enjoy listening too. No matter how hard you tried to focus on the others surrounding the large dining room table, your attention kept on being brought back to Elain and Azriel. The two of them enjoying their own quiet convocation whilst you sat in silence. The only saving grace was she was no longer touching him.

“Welcome to family dinner Y/N” Fayre pulled your attention from the chaos surrounding you. She had come to sit beside you at the head of the table.

“Is it always like this?” you shyly smiled. Hiding the fact that you were about ready to sneak out the door without anyone watching.

“Some dinners are more dignified than others but yes. Most of them end up like this” she laughed as she looked around the table. Rhys was sat at the other end of the table trying to keep the peace between Cassian and Amren. He looked utterly hopeless as Amren threatened to cut off Cassian’s manhood.

You thanked the mother for Fayre. She spoke to you for the rest of the meal, taking your attention away from her sister and Azriel. She asked about the bakery and even offered for you work at the house if business didn’t pick up soon. “The last thing I want is for you to go out of business” she smiled sweetly at you.

Once the meal came to an end, Elain excused herself, pulling Azriel up to join her for that walk in her garden. You didn’t lift your eyes from your empty plate as he stood to follow her out, though your heart sank in your chest as you saw them leave the room.

How stupid could you have been? Elain was beautiful and Azriel deserved someone like her. Someone sweet and caring. You had flirted and you had kissed but nothing was set in stone. He was free to go with any female he wanted. Your feelings had gotten way too deep and you needed space to get over them.

“Y/N” Cassian elbowed you as you walked to take a seat on the sofa. His voice low in understanding. “Nesta and I are going to head back soon. Do you want me to get Rhys to bring you up to the house with us?” his soft eyes met yours and he held both your shoulders to look at him. You paused, looking between Cassian, Rhys and the door that Azriel had just walked through with Elain.

“I think I might stay at my apartment tonight” you said softly. “I think it’s time that I move back but thank you, for everything”. Cassian’s brow furrowed but he nodded as he pulled you into his chest in a brief hug.

You needed to leave before Azriel and Elain got back so you quickly said your goodbyes. Nesta argued with you to no avail. “Just one night and then you come back” Nesta finally gave in.

“I’ll see you in the morning” you smiled, hiding the tears that began to form. You couldn’t have walked out the house quicker. Your mind began spiralling as you walked down the quiet streets, lit only by a couple of streetlights and the moon. Even if there wasn’t anything going on between Azriel and Elain, she definitely liked him. The way she looked at him was all you needed to see to know exactly how she feels.

Azriel hadn’t indicated that he was against her advances either. He went on a moonlit walk through her garden and barely spoke to you all night. Your chest heaved with a heavy sigh. How could you have let yourself get so drawn to him?

The walk from Fayre’s house was only a brisk twenty minutes. You fished inside your coat pocket as you reached the front door to the bakery. A small thud sounded behind you making you jump and drop your keys. You quickly swiped them up from the floor before turning around. Azriel had just landed on the cobbled streets behind you.

“What are you doing?” his deep voice almost growled as he came to stand in front of you. He towered over you, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“What does it look like? I’m going home” you couldn’t meet his eyes. You spun back around and unlocked the door. Azriel’s arm quickly blocked you from walking through the door.

“You live at the house of wind” his shadows began to curl around his neck. No doubt Rhys or Fayre had filled him in on your plans to move back into your apartment tonight.

“I was a temporary guest” you shook your head. “I think it’s time I move back” you shoved past his outstretched arm and into the bakery.

Azriel, to your surprise followed you in through the door. His wings barely making it through the doorframe. He shut the door behind him and calmly turned to you. “Why now?” his voice was soft as he moved through the room, closing the gap between you. You took a step away from him and he froze in place. Hurt flashed across his face making you want to rush to him but you stayed in place.

“I just think that it’s time for me to move back. It’s been months since….” you trailed off not daring to think about the attack.

“But why tonight? What changed?” he looked at you with pleading eyes, waiting for an answer. “Y/N” his voice was deeply soothing as he said your name. You felt some sort of pull, like the one last night and you finally dared to look up at him. His hazel eyes met yours.

“I know that what we have done is just harmless flirting and there isn’t anything more to it” you said it to protect your feelings but you knew it was a lie. His eyes widened slightly, but you carried on. “But seeing you with Elain tonight got under my skin” you admitted.

“You got jealous?” Azriel smirked.

“It doesn’t mean anything” you blurted out quickly. Trying to salvage any dignity you might have left.

“No?” he asked. “Just harmless flirting, there isn’t anything else to it. That’s what you believe?” he repeated the words back to you as he slowly began to approach you again. His shadows reached out to you but you shied away.

“Exactly” your voice was barely above a whisper as your back found the wall behind you. Azriel stepped closer until he was barely an inch away from you. Your heart began racing as he towered over you.

“I don’t believe you” Azriel’s deep voice whispered into your ear. His hot breath sending shivers down the bare skin of your neck. “I told Elain on our walk that I wasn’t interested. I thought that may be kinder then in front of everyone. I tried to get your attention all night but you barely looked at me” he growled. “Now I know why” he paused, taking his hand to tilt your chin up. You couldn’t escape his eyes now. “Tell me it doesn’t mean anything and I will leave”.

You couldn’t believe how wrong you had been. He had spoken to Elain in private, like a kind male would. Did you expect him to announce to the whole room, to their family that he wasn’t interested? Of course not. You were an idiot. And now you had told him that what you both shared didn’t mean anything. His eyes still held yours waiting for your answer.

“I can’t” you whimpered.

“You can’t what?”

“I can’t tell you that it doesn’t mean anything….” your back was pushed up tightly against the wall, tears threatening to roll down your cheeks. “Because it does. This isn’t just harmless flirting to me”.

That was all Azriel needed to here. His lips were on yours as soon as the words left your mouth. It wasn’t like the kiss you had shared this morning, it was full of want and need. He pushed his whole body up against yours as his hand moved from your chin to your neck, angling you to deepen the kiss. His other hand wondered down your body, caressing your hips and pulling you as close to him as you could be.

His kiss tasted perfect on your tongue, you wanted more, needed more. He left your mouth to trail kisses along your jaw and down your neck. You angled your head allowing him better access. Heat flushed through your body as he nipped at the sensitive skin on your collarbone before pressing his lips back into yours.

He leaned down slightly to pick you up. Wrapping both of your legs around his waist as he pressed you back up against the wall. The dress you wore was hitched up around your waist showing your laced underwear off. You could feel his arousal through his trousers as he held you in place and kissed you hungrily. Every inch of your body screamed out for him. He backed you both from the wall and carried you up the stairs to your apartment. His arms held you tightly against him as he effortlessly made it up the stairs.

He kicked open the door and didn’t hesitate as he made his was towards your bed. Azriel laid you down gently and hovered over you kissing you with each breath he took. You reached up to him, undoing the buttons on his shirt. He broke from the kiss to kneel between your legs taking the shirt off over his wings. His muscled torso now exposed to you. Your cheeks flushed as he beheld you below him. Your dress hitched up to show your black laced underwear. A growl reminted from his chest as he slowly, gently moved his hands up both your legs. He teasingly worked from your knee, using featherlight touches, down the inside of your thigh. You shuddered as he ghosted over your core and then began to push your dress further up your body.

He removed the dress over your head until you were left only in your underwear. You let out a shaky breath as he hooked his fingers under the waistband of your underwear and bent down to place a kiss on your hip. Ever so slowly he pulled the lace fabric down your legs until you ware bare to him. You didn’t have time to think or hide from him as he grazed a finger down your centre. Coating his finger in your arousal before slowly circling the small bundle of nerves. You breathed in a sharp breath at the pleasure that flooded through you at just a simple touch from him.

Your hips bucked up to meet more friction but he took his finger away. Instead wrapping his arms around both of your thighs and replacing his finger with his tongue. You couldn’t suppress the moan you had been holding any longer as he slowly moved his tongue up and down your core. His warm breath at your centre sent shivers up your spine. “Finally, I’ve been waiting too long to hear you moan for me” he roared between your legs. His tongue dipped in and out of you as he moved one of his hands to massage your breast. Tension was building up in your lower stomach as Azriel explored you with his mouth. You threw your head back in pure pleasure as he began sucking on the small bundle of nerves.

With his free hand he lined up the tip of his finger with your entrance before slowly pushing it inside of you. He moved the finger slowly in and out of you as you grabbed onto the bedsheets. “Azriel” you moaned his name. He growled as he added another finger, working you as the tension grew with each thrust of his hand and flick of his tongue.

Your whole body tensed as you reached your peak. Pleasure pulsated through your body as you moaned out to him. Azriel kept a steady rhythm as his fingers still moved in and out of you. Riding out your orgasm. He kissed your clit and you twitched under his warm touch. “Sensitive?” his voice was animalistic as he rose back to his knees before you.

Yes, you were sensitive but you wanted more. So much more. If that was the best orgasm you had ever had what could the rest of him do. You got on your knees in front of him and kissed him, tasting yourself on his lips. You reached out for his belt, unbuckling it then undoing his trousers. His eyes met yours briefly and you nodded.

Azriel stood from the bed and dropped his trousers. You swallowed hard at the size of him, he was beautiful. Every inch of him was toned as if he had been carved by a god. Slowly he climbed back over you, lowering you down onto the bed. He kissed you passionately as he hovered over you. One of your hands got lost in his black hair whilst the other snaked between your two bodies. You slowly traced your fingertip up his muscled thigh until you found his member. He moaned deeply as your hand softly rubbed at the velvety soft skin.

He pushed himself forward, covering himself with your arousal before you helped line him up to your entrance. An inch at a time, he pushed himself slowly into you. You gasped as he stretched you. Each inch he waited for you to adjust before carrying on until he was fully buried deeply into you. Then, he began to move. Slowly at first, teasing you as he kissed up your neck. Then he began to quicken his pace. Thrusting into you with force as you moaned underneath him. Your legs began to shake as you could feel the tension building again in your stomach.

Azriel was hitting the precise spots you needed him too with each thrust of his hips. “Good girl” he praised as you arched your back into him. The new angle made everything hit even better as you tensed around him. You could feel the heat rising through your body as a burst of pleasure filled you and something snapped within you. The snap took your breath away, filling your body and soul with ecstasy. Azriel moaned as he also reached his climax, his thrusts into you became sloppy as he rode you both out.

He pulled out of you and laid next to you before pulling your body tightly towards him. You rested your head on his chest as his arms wrapped tightly around you. Your legs tangled with each others. The two of you laid there for a moment, catching your breath and coming down from your climax. Your bodies were covered with sweat as you held one another tightly.

“Thank the mother for no interruptions” Azriel smirked as he kissed your brow. You burst out laughing as he cocooned you in his wings.

Chapter 12

#acotar #acotar fandom #acotar fanfiction #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel x you #batboys #cassian

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miss-shawdowsinger · 1 year

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AHHHH OMG YOUR NEW CHAPTER IS FREAKING FANTASTIC!!! it’s making me feel the warm and fuzzies <3 so glad i decided to read that before doing work for my finals lmaoooo

love love love your writing!!! xo

Wow thank you so much and thank you for letting me know what you think ❤️ I'm so glad you are enjoying it!! Also, good luck for your finals 😃

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miss-shawdowsinger · 1 year

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Soothing Darkness - Azriel X reader fanfic

Chapter 10

Summary: the day after Starfall Azriel is called away on business but when he returns Y/N ends up helping him.

Warnings: violence, swearing and angst!! Please only ready if you are 18+

AN: things are starting to heat up!! Thank you all for your support so far on this fanfic! Please please let me know what you think because I love reading your comments! Enjoy ❤️

Chapter 1

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You arrived at the training rings the morning after Starfall with a surprisingly clear head. Gwyn, Emerie and a couple of the other priestesses were already waiting as you arrived. The spring sun was warm as the rays of sunlight fell on the mountain. If the heat was anything to go by, you would definitely not be needing your leather jacket.

“How was your Starfall?” Gwyn greeted you. “Wasn’t it just beautiful?” she gleamed.

“It was” you smiled at her, thinking of what had happened last night. Azriel would arrive at the training rings any minute and you felt like your chest was going to burst. You hadn’t slept much, thinking about the male who’s room was just opposite yours. It crossed your mind a couple of times to go and knock on his door but you weren’t able to build up the confidence. The two of you weren’t able to talk about the kiss you shared after being interrupted by Cassian. You hoped that you might get the chance today. “How was your date?” you turned to Emerie who was surprisingly quiet.

“It was….pleasant” she fought for the right word to say and you cringed.

“That good?” you laughed as your friend began blushing.

“Lets just say I would have rather joined you last night” she rolled her eyes.

Cassian and Nesta arrived together. Nesta kept rubbing her temples with her fingers as she joined the group. She may have had a bit too much to drink last night. You seemed to always catch her topping up her wine glass with Mor. You were glad it wasn’t you this time because last time you trained with a hangover, you felt like you were going to die.

“Don’t say a word” she scowled at you as you bit your lip to stop from laughing.

“Good morning ladies” Cassian stood in front of the group. “We are going to practise one on one combat today. So, lets warm up and then pair off” he clapped his hands together and everyone followed his instruction.

You were all halfway through your warm up exercises when Azriel finally arrived. His hazel eyes scanned the training ring until they found yours. Your heart momentarily stopped, holding your stretch for a bit longer than necessary whilst you gauged his reaction to you. His face was unreadable but then the corner of his mouth twitch upwards into a knowing smile. You smiled back, taking in the breath you didn’t realise you had been holding and releasing your stretch.

“Now that my punching bag has arrived” Cassian gained the groups attention by slapping Azriel on his back, earning a scowl from him. “We are going to demonstrate one to one combat. I think Az here needs to get it out of his system and I always love knocking him on his ass” Cassian teased.

“Keep talking a big game Cass and you’ll embarrass yourself even more when you find it’s you in the dirt” Azriel’s face had turned dark. Cassian barked a laugh as the sun beamed down on him. He undid the first couple of buttons on his shirt before pulling it off. You had to stop yourself from gawking at the Illyrian’s physique, especially when his mate was stood right next to you.

“Lets go then” Cassian growled. Azriel looked him up and down before smirking, following his friend by slowly taking off his own shirt. Heat flushed your cheeks and you had to swallow hard. His torso was perfectly muscled from his chest to all of his abs. His Illyrian tattoos ran over his pectorals right down his big strong arms to his wrist. He took your breath away.

The two Illyrians circled around one another, wings tucked tightly behind their toned backs. They each waited for the other to make the first move. “They do this every so often” Nesta sighed as the rest of the group watched intently. “It’s like they have this build up of emotions that they have to let out by fighting each other, Rhys too” she rolled her eyes.

“They haven’t done anything yet” Gwyn remarked just as Cassian lunged at Azriel. The group gasped as Azriel dodged Cassians attack, landing a punch to his ribs. Cassian grunted and spun. Suddenly it had gone from a game of patients to attack and defence. Both Illyrians blocked, kicked and punched. There wings spreading and tightening behind them to keep their balance.

Cassian landed a rather hard hit to Azriel’s jaw, causing him to stumble backwards. Azriel rubbed at his already bruised skin. “Finished already Az?” Cassian smirked and then whispered something under his breath. Azriel looked up, his face stared like cold death at his Illyrian brother. A deep growl reminted from his chest. As he lunged forward, shadows curling around his neck and arms.

Cassian blocked each strike, but Azriel was like a male possessed with rage. Blow after blow was struck. Azriel’s muscles taught with each punch. He slowed momentarily, allowing Cassian to believe he had tired. Cassian lowered his arms only slightly to watch his opponent. That’s when Azriel struck one more time, landing not one but two punches. The first hit Cassian in the stomach, winding him. The second connected to his jaw. Cassian fell backwards to the floor.

Azriel stood over the top of him. Sweat gleaming over his brow and torso. “I hate to say it” Azriel smirked as he stood over Cassian, now rubbing his own jaw.

“Then don’t” Cassian growled. Azriel offered his brother his hand to help him up which Cassian took begrudgingly.

“I told you so” Azriel clapped him on the back hard. Cassian scowled at him before turning to the group.

“Right pair off ladies and play nicely, unlike this one” Cassian rolled his eyes. Azriel had a victorious smile on his face as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Y/N, you’re with me” you heard Nesta say from next to you. Although you found it very difficult to tear your sights away from the topless Illyrian, you followed her across the ring. “Idiots. Both of them” she scowled.

“Who usually wins?” you asked timidly.

“It really depends” she shrugged her shoulder. “Azriel clearly had some pent-up emotion today but they are all as good as each other. I think Cassian won the last one. When Rhys is involved it’s usually one of the Illyrians just because he’s out of shape”.

You and Nesta worked for the whole session together. The both of you didn’t go quite as far as the demonstration but Nesta knocked you on your ass more times than you could count. You managed to knock her over once, thanks to Cassian distracting her as he walked by. He laughed earning a scowl and a rude gesture from Nesta in return.

Even though Nesta was hungover she still managed to best you every time. After an hour of being knocked over, you both called it quits. Taking a much deserved drinking break, the two of you sat watching as the rest of the group continued. “My sister has invited us all to a family dinner at the end of this week. She asked if you would want to join” Nesta said whilst catching her breath.

“That’s kind of her” you smiled. You were torn. Of course you would love to go but you weren’t part of there family and didn’t want you to intrude.

“I said you would come. I thought being in the house by yourself would be boring and you could just meet us after you finish at the bakery” she instructed.

“Are you two going to get of your ass’ and do something?” Cassian stood over the both of you, distracting you from your convocation.

“Oh shove off, we’ve done enough” Nesta rolled her eyes.

“Nesta has already killed me more times than I can count” you agreed.

“Then pair off with someone else” Cassian tilted his head disapprovingly. The two of you just stared up at him, unmoving, until he sighed and walked back off to circle the rest of the group. The two of you laughed at his feeble attempt.

The two of you watched the rest of the session from the side of the training rings. Just before the session was due to finish Mor arrived. Her face was pale and clammy as she strode across the training rings. She marched straight over to Azriel and handed him a note. You watched as he read it carefully, his eyes turning dark as he read. Cassian joined them and read the note afterwards.

The three of them looked between each other and then Azriel marched from the training rings. He strode straight by you and Nesta who had now stood up from the ground. “What’s going on?” Nesta shouted out to him as he passed. His shoulders tightened as he paused to face the two of you.

“Koschei” his deep voice was cold as ice as he uttered the name. His hazel eyes met yours “I need to go” you nodded in understanding as he turned from you both and was gone.

“Who’s Koschei?” you quietly asked Nesta who had tensed at the name.

“No one you need to worry about” she patted your arm. “I’ll catch up with you later” she left you at the side of the ring as training ended and the priestesses dispersed. Cassian, Mor and Nesta now stood at the very far side discussing as you glanced over your shoulder one last time before heading to your room.

Azriel had been gone for three days. Cassian even cancelled training on one day because he had to go join him. You still dragged yourself up to the training rings each morning, to your surprise so did a couple of the others. The six of you trained together for an hour before returning back to your days. During lunch and dinner Nesta didn’t mention Koschei or who they were. You decided it would probably be better if you didn’t know. Not that she would tell you anyway.

You sat in bed after a long day. The bakery was just as quiet as usual, giving you time to overthink. You thought about the kiss and how you haven’t been able to talk to Azriel about it. Azriel, who could be mother knows where. He could be hurt for all you knew. Whenever you felt your mind wondering to far you practised mind-stilling but it only worked for so long.

You began to settle, reading one of the books that Emerie had recommended. A mug of hot chocolate appeared on your bed side table as you pulled the bed covers as high as they would go. “Thank you” you whispered to the house. As you were reaching a steady flow of reading, footsteps from outside your door grasped your attention. You watched as the shadows from the light underneath the door flickered indicating where the figure was.

“Az?” you heard Cassian’s voice whisper. “Your back. You look like you’ve had better days”. Your chest eased slightly. He was back and he was safe.

“I just need sleep” Azriel’s deep voice sounded like quiet thunder. “I’ll report to Rhys tomorrow”. There were a few scuffled footsteps and then the sound of doors opening and closing. Then quiet. You put your book down on the table and the faelight went out. Now that you knew he was safe you could sleep.

Fear. You were jolted awake by pure fear. It shook you to your bones, you could feel the cold sweat running down your brow as you sat bolt upright. You don’t remember having a nightmare but you could feel the deathly edge of fear crawling down your spine. It was still pitch black outside as you turned your attention to the clock in the room. 2:20am.

You felt like you needed to get up, like something was calling you. You needed to leave the room and follow this pull but you forced yourself to stay under the covers. That’s when you heard it. The noise shook you to the bone, a noise you would never be able to forget. Your heart felt like it had stopped altogether as your blood ran ice cold. Azriel was screaming.

Before you could register what was happening you flung the covers from your body, leaving you in just your nightgown. You didn’t think about what could be waiting for you as you ran from your room and into the hallway. His screams were getting louder. The pain he must be enduring was excruciating to listen too. To your surprise Cassian wasn’t already there but you had no time to wait. Azriel’s door was right in front of you.

You threw the door open. Shadows filled the room in swirling darkness as the door closed behind you. You allowed your eyes to adjust slightly before stepping further inside. The shadows curled around you, in a more frantic caress then before. You moved quickly, finding Azriel in his bed. His skin was glistening with sweat as he tossed from side to side. The screams were still filling your head, but his lips were unmoving. He was having a nightmare.

You moved to the edge of the bed. His bare torso was covered in sweat as he writhed around, kicking the covers from his body. You had to help him, had to wake him up somehow. Gently you bent over him and used both hands on his shoulders to gently shake him.

“Azriel” you whispered soothingly. “Azriel, you need to wake up. Everything is alright”. His fists balled up, his knuckled turning white. His black hair stuck to his wet forehead. You had never seen him so pale. “Azriel” you tried again shaking him harder.

Quicker than a lightning bolt flashing across the sky. Azriel’s hand whipped up and grabbed your throat, flipping you over to pin you onto the bed. A dagger held in his other hand, ready to make a fatal swipe.

“Azriel, it’s me” you breathed as the wind got knocked out of you. His eyes were glazed over in a panicked haze. It was as if he was looking but not seeing. He seemed to pause, heaving breaths as he assessed the situation. “It’s me” you stared into his hazel eyes as they came into focus.

“Y/N?” he whispered, eyebrows furrowing as he came back to reality. His shadows curled back into him leaving one caressing his neck. He stared down realising that he still held a dagger to you and was pinning you by your throat. He pulled both hands away from you, like he had been burnt and you heaved a breath. Azriel was knelt over you on his bed, staring at the scared hands that were just threatening you.

“Azriel, are you alright?” you sat up to kneel in front of him. You reached up slowly, to not frighten him, and placed both your hands in his. His eyes widened at your touch as you brought his hands down from his face. Hazel eyes met yours, then he scanned your neck.

“Are you alright? Did I hurt you?” his voice was mixture of pain and panic as one of his hands moved to gently assess your neck.

“No Az, I’m fine” you shook your head. It was true, although he had pinned you down, his eyes dark as they bore into you. He hadn’t harmed you. Although your heart was still racing in your chest as everything happened so quickly.

“What happened?” his hand still softly placed on your neck, making sure you looked at him in his eyes. His head shook in confusion of why you might be there.

“I heard you scream so I came to see if you were alright. I think you were having a nightmare” you shuddered at the memory of his scream still ringing in your ears. You had never experienced such fear. “I tried to wake you but I don’t think that was the best idea” you half smiled.

“You’re sure I screamed?” Azriel’s brow furrowed. His bare chest still heaving as he took deep breaths to calm himself.

“I heard you, but I thought Cassian would be here by now” you looked towards the closed, empty doorway. There was no sign of Cassian or Nesta, surely they couldn’t have slept through that. The scream was so loud, half of Velaris could have heard it.

“Thank you” Azriel’s eyes softened. You suddenly became very aware of the situation. You were both in Azriel’s room alone. Azriel was in nothing but his boxer shorts and you were only in a small nightgown. The two of you knelt before each other, his hand in yours as the other still placed lightly on the nape of your neck. Heat flushed to your cheeks.

“I should go” you breathed. You began to move from the bed when Azriel’s grip tightened slightly on your hand. His hazel eyes looked pleadingly at you. He opened and closed his mouth as if he was about to say something. His throat bobbed slightly before he released his grip on you. You paused before you asked. “Do you want me to stay?”.

You are not sure where you got the confidence from to ask but his hazel eyes met yours in slight surprise. The corner of his mouth turned upwards as he nodded. He moved over to give you room as you sat back down on the bed, pulling the covers over you. The bed was huge, allowing extra room for his membranous wings. He laid back down on one side of the bed whilst you settled into the space beside him.

You took as shaky breath as you stared up at the ceiling. A couple moments passed in tense silence as you tried to control your breathing. Azriel breathed a small, quiet laugh. You were just about to turn over and ask what was so funny when one of his strong arms snaked under you. His other arm wrapped around you and pulled you closer to him. He positioned your back into his chest as his wings cocooned around you.

You found it hard to suppress the smile that threatened your lips. His arms wrapped round you and pulled you closer to him in a warm embrace. You backed up into him, feeling is muscled body pressed against your spine. His hard arousal against your ass made your breath hitch. You moved your hips back against him, a low growl emanating from his chest at your movement.

“Y/N” Azriel’s deep voice whispered into your ear. His breath hot on your neck, sending shivers down your spine. “You need sleep. I’d rather not see Nesta knock you on your pretty little ass again” you could feel his smile on your skin as he kissed the nape of your neck. You fought to hold the moan sitting in your throat as you swallowed hard.

Fine. You thought. Two can play that game.

You moved your hips forward slightly. All the pressure between your ass and his hardness was filled with an empty space. Azriel sighed deeply, tightening his grip around your body. “Goodnight then” you smirked, knowing exactly what you had done to him.

You opened your eyes slowly, not realising where you were. You were surrounded by a membranous cover. Then you felt the relaxed grip around your body and the press of Azriel’s muscled frame against your back. You bit your lower lip lightly as you smiled, feeling the warmth from his body pressed tightly against you.

“Morning” his deeper almost croaked voice breathed against your neck.

“Morning” you returned as he tightened his grip slightly on you. “How did you sleep?” you asked shyly.

“A lot better, thank you” he nuzzled into your neck.

“You kissed me on Starfall” you whispered. You couldn’t think of the next opportunity you would get to talk about it. He hummed in response. “Do you regret it?” you cringed as he went still. You decided you would rather know now if all this was just spur of the moment things or if they meant anything more. If it was just a spur of the moment, then you could stop it and spare your feelings that seemed to grow each day.

He took in a deep breath. The silence growing louder by the second. Suddenly, he flipped you around to meet him face to face. Chest to chest. His hazel eyes met yours, his lips barely an inch away as he pulled you in tighter.

His hair was slightly messy from sleep and his eyes were relaxed. “Y/N” he sighed in slight amusement. “You are in my bed”.

“You didn’t ask me to be here” you let the words slip out.

“But I wanted you to stay” he smirked leaning his brow against yours. “Do you think I would have done that if I regretted kissing you? If Cassian hadn’t of interrupted us, I would have said ‘you have no idea how long I had waited to do that’. Why, do you regret it?” his eyes widened slightly.

“No, not at all” the words came out in a rush. He smiled as he moved a loose strand of hair that fell across your face, behind your ear. His lips then softly met yours. He kissed you lightly at first, then you opened your mouth granting his tongue access to explore you. One of his arms was still snaked under you, pulling you closer to him while the other was tracing circles onto your bare thigh.

You wrapped one of your arms over his shoulder and round his neck whilst the other hand lay flat on his chisel chest. Feeling his heartbeat quicken under your fingertips. His grip found the back of your knee, pulling you over him to straddle his hips. Azriel sat upright with you over him, hands placed around your waist to pull you even closer. Deepening the kiss as your nightgown hitched up around your hips.

You could feel the heat rising in between your legs as Azriel began trailing hot kisses down your jawline and neck. You tilted your head to the side, granting him more access as you held onto his shoulders, feeling his strong muscles as he gripped you. He had barely touched you but your body was already in pure ecstasy as he reattached his lips to yours. You could feel his hard arousal between your legs as you pushed your hips down.

“Az” Cassian shouted through the door. The two of you stopped kissing as Azriel growled.

“What?” he snapped.

“Training is in ten minutes”. Azriel tipped his head back and sighed but he didn’t loosen his grip on you. You bit your lip and placed one of your hands over your mouth to stop from making any sort of noise.

“I’ll be right out” Azriel sneered. You both stayed silent as you listened to Cassian’s footsteps as they slowly disappeared down the hall. “I could kill him” Azriel placed a soft kiss to your lips.

“I’ll help” you smirked. “I better go get ready” just as you went to move from his grip, Azriel flipped you both over. He hovered over you as your back laid softly in the bed. His body still between your legs as he groaned.

“I want you back here” he kissed your collarbone lightly. “Where we will continue, uninterrupted” his voice was deep and predatory as he emphasised the last word. You shivered as the thought tremored through you.

Chapter 11

#acotar #acotar fandom #acotar fanfiction #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel x you #batboys #cassian

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miss-shawdowsinger · 1 year

Text

Soothing Darkness - Azriel X reader fanfic

Chapter 9

Summary: Starfall is here. Y/N decides she needs some space so goes to find her own place to watch...

Warnings: talks of past trauma, swearing and fluff

AN: Eeeek so I love this!! I hope you love it as much as me ❤️⭐

Chapter 1

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“Stop fidgeting” Nesta snarled at you as she completed the finishing touches to your hair. She let the ringlets fall down your back pulling the loose strands away from your face. The dress she was letting you borrow was like nothing you had worn before. It was a dark blue, almost black in some lights and floor length. The material sparkled even in the dimmest of lights. It was long sleeved but backless with a low neckline that showed off the top of your breasts. “Alright, I’m done. Go have a look” Nesta pointed to the full length mirror in the corner of her room.

You stood before the mirror, taking in your own image. The difference you saw from the girl in the mirror a couple of months ago to now was incredible. You had a full toned body, not the weak one you used to have. Your hair had grown longer and your eyes seemed brighter. You sighed deeply.

“You don’t like it?” Nesta snapped. “How can you not, you look beautiful” she spun round with a pair of silver stilettoes in her hand and held them out for you to take.

“No, I love it” you quickly said. “It looks amazing. I just wish Gwyn and Emerie were going to be here tonight” the thought had rattled through your brain all afternoon. You wanted to enjoy Starfall with all your friends. Nesta would be there, but she also had Cassian and her family.

“I feel the same but at least we have each other” Nesta smiled, stopping you mid thought. “I will leave you to put these on” she handed you the stilettoes. “Everyone would have arrived by now, so I better go play host but come find me when you are ready”. You nodded in agreement before she left the room.

You sat on the bed, putting the silver shoes on. They lased around your ancles and up to your calves. It took you a lot longer than you would admit to fiddle around with the laces to get them to sit neatly. You stood in front of the mirror one last time. The dress was beautiful and it hugged your new figure perfectly. You took a deep breath, debating if you could get away with just hiding for the night. Before you could let your thoughts get the better of you, you made your way out of the room and headed to the party.

The room wasn’t as full as the last party, but the atmosphere was still as loud. There were refreshments and small nibbles on tables. Most guests were happily chatting away with quiet music playing in the background. You wondered the outskirts of the room, trying to find Nesta.

“You look like you need a drink” you turned to see Mor with a glass of wine outstretched to you.

“It’s like you read my mind” you laughed and took the wine gratefully. You had only briefly seen Mor since the Winter solstice ball. Sometimes she would arrive just after training and have lunch or be messenger for Rhys to Cassian and Azriel.

“Where are your friends tonight? Gwyn and…. Emerie is it?” Mor feigned not knowing Emerie’s name with a little side glance at you.

“They had other plans unfortunately” you weren’t sure if telling Mor about Emerie’s date was a good idea but you smiled knowingly.

“Ahh” she took a long gulp from her wine. “That’s a shame. Come on, lets go see the others” Mor linked her arm with yours and led you to the balcony. There were more guests on the balcony then inside, ready to see the stars shoot across the midnight blue sky.

“There you are” Nesta was the first of the small group to see you and Mor arrive. Cassian was by her side, along with Rhysand, Fayre, Nyx. “I thought you had gotten lost, or you had made a run for it” she whispered the last bit to you.

“I found her looking like a bit of a lost puppy” Mor squeezed your arm and you gave her a fake scowl which she laughed at. You greeted everyone whilst sipping from your wine, already needing a top up. You were about to excuse yourself when a familiar face stepped out of the shadows and joined the group. Azriel wore his black jacket and trousers with a white shirt. His hazel eyes caught yours and he smiled. His smile nearly made your knees buckle.

“Y/N” Rhys pulled your attention away from the Illyrian. “May I have a quick word?” he gestured to step away from the group and you weren’t about to refuse the high lord. You glanced a look at Azriel, who’s brows were knitted together slightly as you followed Rhysand to a quiet part of the balcony. “How are you?” Rhys voice was soft but laced with concern.

“I’m alright thank you” you nodded barley able to keep contact with his violet eyes. “You?”

“I’m good” he chuckled slightly. “I meant after everything a couple of months ago. I’m sorry I haven’t been around to check on you. I hear you are still living in the house?” he took you by surprise. You knew the high lord of the night court wasn’t what most people knew him to be. But you never thought for one moment that he would want to or feel he had to check on you after what had happened, let alone apologise.

“Oh” words failed you. “I’m better but yes I am staying here…. but it’s only temporary, I didn’t mean to outstay my welcome” You began to nervously ramble. Rhys held up his hand to stop you.

“Whoa, I didn’t mean that” he smiled politely. “Stay as long as you need, you could never outstay your welcome. There is plenty of room. I just wanted to make sure you feel safe”. Safe? You still had sleepless night, woken up by past terrors but you couldn’t be more safe then where you were.

“I do” you nodded. “Thank you”.

“Is the training helping? I hear you’ve progressed”. You glanced back at the two Illyrians on the other side of the balcony. Cassian was laughing at something Mor was saying and Azriel was looking in your direction. He quickly turned his attention elsewhere when he noticed you looking his way.

“Yes, the training has helped a lot. Cassian and Azriel are good teachers” you swallowed. You were unsure where this convocation was heading. The High lord of the night court was asking you about your daily life, you were staying at his house. It all felt very unreal.

“They are my best worriers” Rhys smiled. “I’m sure Azriel has made it clear but I assure you that nothing like that will happen again. You have my word” his violet eyes met yours. There was no hesitation or white lie there. He meant what he said, and you could see the guilt that hid behind his stare.

“I believe you” you said it more for him then for you. His face softened with relief. Just from the short convocation with Rhysand you could tell he really cared for the people of Velaris. He didn’t want anyone to feel unsafe in his city. For that, you could trust him.

“I hope you enjoy tonight. If you ever have any issues please let me know” Rhys patted you lightly on the shoulder. You nodded your thanks to him as the two of you began to make your way back over to the group. You noticed another two people had joined. Amren was now stood with Fayre and Elain was stood next to Azriel. Her blush pink dress matched her soft complexion as her beautiful long hair fell to one side. Your heart dropped as she smiled so longingly at the Illyrian you had grown to care for. He was smiling back as they exchanged pleasant convocation.

Mor handed you another glass of wine as you reached her side. You had to stop yourself from downing the whole thing. You kept your attention on Mor as she spoke to the group, trying to ignore Elain and Azriel. You could see them in your peripheral vision, you could hear her giggling at something he had said. It was like you were being punched in the gut but you put on a front. You didn’t want anyone to see the truth of your feelings towards the spymaster. This silly schoolgirl crush you had on him.

“It’s about to start” Fayre picked Nyx up in her arms and strode to the railing of the balcony. Everyone formed a line along the rails to get a good view at the stars above. You were about to join when you saw Azriel lead Elain over to the balcony her arm snaked through his elbow. They stood next to one another and looked out waiting for the stars to fall. At first there was a small gap between them but Elain began to lean into him, closing the gap.

Fuck it. You gulped back the last of your wine. The last thing you wanted was to have to watch them flirt with each other all night. As everyone’s attention was on the view ahead of them, you took the opportunity and left the balcony. You knew there was another, quieter balcony you could go to that was only two floors up.

You picked the hem of your dress up as you started to climb the stairs. The last two Starfalls you had sat at the window in your apartment watching by yourself. This year would be no different apart from the better view. When you reached the second level, you were the only one there. You breathed a sigh of relief as you stepped out into the night and leaned your forearms against the railing of the quiet balcony. You could hear the faint chatter from two floors below, but this seemed right somehow. More peaceful.

Staring out at the dark sky, you wished your mother were here. Starfall had always been her favourite holiday in Velaris. You would climb to the roof of the bakery and sit out all night with snacks as the stars shot across the sky. This would be your third Starfall without her.

“So, this is where you ran off to” a voice broke through your thoughts. You spun round to see Azriel stood in the doorway to the balcony.

“I didn’t run” you gulped as your heart leaped into your throat. “I just wanted to watch somewhere more quiet” you half lied.

“Mind if I join you on that?” he waited in the doorway.

“Don’t you want to watch with the others?” with Elain, you thought.

“I quite enjoy the quiet too” Azriel’s shadows circled around his neck. “I’ve spent many Starfall’s with them, I’m sure they won’t mind if I spend this one two floors above them” he smirked.

“If you are sure, then go ahead” you smiled. He made his way across the balcony and stood at the railing beside you. He rested one of his arms on the rail with his body turned to face you.

“You look beautiful” his deep voice sent shivers up your spine. Heat rushed to your cheeks at the compliment.

“A bit of a difference from fighting leathers?” your voice came out slightly squeaky. Azriel gave a small laugh as his eyes met yours.

Just as he opened his mouth to speak a star shot across you vision. It lit the black sky up with colour as more stars started flying. It was beautiful, each star seemed to paint the black canvas with bright light. You and Azriel stood closely together staring up and watching as hundreds of bright stars danced together.

The two of you stayed like that. Hearing the downstairs balcony gasp and laugh as Stars fell so closely you could almost touch them. Azriel’s forearm rested right next to yours. His wings slightly held behind your back to allow his closeness. His warmth radiating onto you as you silently watched.

“It’s nice that you do this every year” you said as a star rushed past your head, leaving a bright green trail behind it. “Spending it surrounded by the people you love” you briefly looked down at the group on the balcony below. Your eyes landed on Elain as she stared up to the stars. You breathed in a sigh, thinking about the way they looked at one another. Why wasn’t he with her now?

“How did you used to spend it?” he asked as you turned you attention back to the skies.

“With my mother. She used to absolutely love this” you said as a small tear fell down your cheek.

“My mother did too” his voice was laced with sorrow. You glanced up at him. It was the first time Azriel had spoken about is actual family to you. He stared out at the falling stars, his eyes shining with their bright light. “It was one of the few things I actually knew about her”.

“I’m sorry” you didn’t know what to say. He carried on staring out at the sky above, his face unreadable. He sighed softly.

“There isn’t anything to apologise for” he shook his head. “It was my father and step-mothers fault I barely knew her” you stayed silent. You didn’t want to push him with questions so you waited to see if he wanted to carry on. “I was born a bastard. My step-mother hated me. I was a constant reminder of my father’s adultery, so she locked me away for the first eleven years of my life. Out of sight, out of mind” Azriel’s teeth clenched as he gripped the railing in front of him. “The room was always dark and small. It had no windows, no room to fly.

“I was only able to see my mother for one hour every week. I didn’t learn much about her, but it was the only kindness I was ever shown. I imagine if she had the chance, she would have been a good mother. It wasn’t until I was eleven when my father dumped me at windhaven to train that I actually spent any time out of the room. I was miles behind everyone, I’d never even used my wings. I had to learn how to fly when everyone else had been flying as long as they could walk. If it wasn’t for Rhys and Cassian I wouldn’t have survived. But I never saw my mother again.” he finally looked up to you. Your eyebrows knitted together as you felt the tears sting your eyes.

“Azriel, I-“ you couldn’t find the words. His hazel eyes glanced at the scar on your neck and then to his own scared hands.

“When I was eight years old my two half brothers thought it would be fun to experiment on me. Illyrians have fast healing powers and they wanted to see how fast they truly were” his voice turned cold. Your chest tightened as you swallowed hard, forcing yourself to listen to the horrors he endured. “They covered my hands in oil and set them on fire. My fathers warriors heard me but they were too late to save my hands” he stared at his scared hands, flexing them in front of his face.

His face had returned to the one you saw on the night of the attack. Laced with nothing but pure anger as he stared at his hands. Your heart pounded in your chest. You wanted to do anything, say anything that would bring him comfort but you couldn’t find the words.

“These” he flexed his hands. “I was left with these ugly, ruined hands as a constant reminder” he growled, a mixture of pain and shame plastered on his face. You couldn’t bare to think about what ran through his mind or how he viewed himself whenever he looked at the scars.

“No” your almost shouted voice came as a shock even to you. He turned to face you, still holding his hands in front of him, his face unreadable. Your heart broke for him as his hazel eyes met yours. Without thinking you took his scared hands gently in yours. “There is nothing about you that is ugly Azriel. Not to me.” the words flowed out of you.

His eyes widened slightly as you held his warm hands. You looked up at him, waiting for him to push you away or break the ever growing silence. But he just looked at you, stunned. You swallowed as the stars kept falling behind you, illuminating his beautiful features. He closed the distance between the two of you. His tall frame towering above you, sheltering you from the cold wind.

One of his hands dropped yours in order to caress your cheek, sending warm shivers throughout your body. Your breath hitched in your throat as his eyes flicked from yours to your lips. Time slowed down as Azriel tilted his head down, his throat bobbed slightly. The world seemed to go silent as his lips met yours.

His lips were warm and soft as he kissed you. His hand moved to the back of your neck tilting your head while the other now sat at your waist, pulling your body into his. Your heart began racing as he held onto you, deepening the kiss. His tongue grazed along your bottom lip asking for permission. You granted it, by opening your mouth.

He took full access, moving his tongue against yours in perfect harmony. Using his hand on your waist, he pulled you even closer to him. Your bodies now fully flushed against one another whist your arms wrapped around his neck. He broke this kiss for a split second, allowing you to catch your breath before reattaching his lips to yours. He tasted amazing on your tongue. His hands wondered down your spine to the curve of you ass, leaving a hot trail behind them.

Every fibre of your being was telling you to give him more. To give him everything but he pulled away. He leant his forehead on yours whilst you caught your breath. Both his arms now held you around your waist, keeping you in place against him. His hazel eyes met yours. Sudden dread arose in you.

What if he regretted the kiss? Was it just a heat of the moment thing and Elain was downstairs waiting for him? You would never be able to look at him again.

He smiled brightly before placing one gentler kiss to your lips. The dread faded away as quickly as it came as you returned his smile. Still catching his breath, he said “You have no idea how long I’ve….”

“There you are” Azriel was cut off. The two of you spun round, releasing each other quickly. The heat from him leaving you cold instantly. You were both too caught up in the moment to hear that someone had approached and was now waiting in the doorway with a huge smirk plastered across his face. “Rhys wondered where you were and told me to come find you” Cassian had his arms crossed over his chest, one eyebrow raised in a knowing look.

“Of course he did” Azriel almost growled at Cassian.

“After you” Cassian gestured to the door, trying to keep himself from laughing. Azriel turned to you, placing a hand on your lower back in a gesture for you to go first. You moved across the balcony to Cassian who winked at you as you passed him. You gave him a rude gesture which only made him laugh more.

You felt as if you were being escorted through the house as the two Illyrians followed closely behind you. Glancing back, you saw Azriel’s face back to it’s unreadableness and Cassian smirking to himself. You couldn’t believe what had just happened. Azriel had kissed you. You could still taste his lips on yours as you made your way to the main balcony.

The small group were where you had left them, gathered along the balcony as Starfall came to an end. You joined them, standing next to Nesta as Azriel stood at your other side between you and Elain. His warm presence once again at your side.

“Where did you run off too?” Nesta snapped.

“I went to find somewhere quiet to watch Starfall. I’m sorry Nesta” you cringed. Not completely a lie. You tried to steady your racing heart as your cheeks burnt with the thought of what had just happened. Nesta said something else but your attention was occupied with Elain and Azriel’s convocation.

She had asked him where he had been, and he simply said to find you. “You missed it” she sighed sadly. “You’ll have to make up for it next year” she smiled shyly at him. He just nodded in response unaware of you eavesdropping.

The rest of the night was full of drinking and dancing until there was only the small group of you left at the house of wind. You all retired to the living room, huddled together on sofas in front of a warm fire. There was a small space in between Mor and Fayre which you took gladly.

Azriel took as seat on the sofa opposite you. Every so often you would catch his eye and smile, heat flushing your cheeks. Your mind was going crazy as you listened to the group around you. What was going to happen now? Would you wake up tomorrow and he regret the whole thing? What would have happened if Cassian hadn’t had interrupted?

“Did you enjoy Starfall Y/N?” Fayre asked sweetly. Tearing your attention away from your own thoughts, you looked at the beautiful High Lady.

“Yes, very much. Thank you” you could feel Azriel’s eyes on you as you answered. “Was this Nyx’s first?” you deflected.

“Yes” she beamed holding the beautiful baby in her arms. “I think he rather enjoyed it”.

An hour passed before you finally decided to take your leave and go to bed. You said goodnight to everyone that was still awake and left the room. There was a small piece of you that wished a certain someone would follow you but that would have made things a bit too obvious.

As you shut your bedroom door behind you, you allowed yourself to smile. You couldn’t control it anymore. Your fingers featherlight touched your lips where Azriel’s had been just a couple of hours ago. The warmth they had brought as his body pressed against yours. Your mind played the scene over and over in your head.

Although you were playing the kiss over and over again in your head. Azriel had also confined a small part of his past with you. How he was treated. He was right when he told you that he understood how you felt, way back when you told him about your own past. All you wanted him to know was that there was no part of himself to be ashamed of and he had kissed you for it. Tomorrow. What was tomorrow going to bring? You would not only have to face Azriel but Cassian. Cassian had caught you holding one another closely. You just hoped that whatever tomorrow brought, it wasn’t going to be awkward.

Chapter 10

#acotar #acotar fandom #acotar fanfiction #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel x you #batboys #cassian

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miss-shawdowsinger · 1 year

Text

Soothing Darkness - Azriel X reader fanfic

Chapter 8

Summary: Y/N faces the aftermath of the attack.

Warnings: talks of trauma and swearing.

AN: so this is a bit of a filler chapter. Azriel is so cute though and from personal experience, when you are dealing with something all you need is to know people care about you. Please let me know what you think ❤️ Starfall coming up ⭐

Chapter 1

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You stared at yourself in the mirror. The bruise that covered your eye and cheek was now a dark purple. The gash under your eye had healed into a long cut and your hands were sore but healing well. The dark bags under your eyes showed how little sleep you got. Falling asleep wasn’t the issue, staying asleep was.

It was as if your mind had awoken with all the horrors of your past life. You dreamt your father and brother visited Velaris and found you. Once you locked eyes with them, you woke with a start. You panicked, not knowing where you were. Your lungs fought for breath, all you could see was darkness until you were able to take in the room.

You are safe.

Looking at the small clock in the room, it read 8:50am. Training was in ten minutes but all you could do was stare at your battered face. Some clothes had been laid out last night for you to change into. They weren’t exactly training practical but it was the only option you had.

You pulled on the dark grey trousers, white top, and light blue jumper. They were warm enough, but you couldn’t move as feely as you could in your leathers. You tied your hair back, unable to braid it due to the cuts that still dug beneath your skin in your palms.

Your whole body ached as you made it down the seemingly endless corridor. As you looked through the glass door to the training rings, you could see you were the last to arrive. All the priestesses had already started their training. You were late but nobody had come to get you. Taking a deep breath, you straightened your shoulders and raised your head. You already looked like shit, there was no point in slumping and feeling sorry for yourself.

It took more effort than you are willing to admit to push the glass door open and step out into the cold morning. Steam rose from mouth with each breath you took. You made it five steps towards the rings until they noticed your arrival. There was a small gasp as some priestesses stopped what they were doing to look at you.

Swallowing hard, you kept your chin up despite your whole body wanting to curl in on itself. You made it to the edge of the ring when Cassian approached you.

“Y/N, we didn’t expect you to be here this morning” you couldn’t tell if he was looking at you or assessing the black eye. When you didn’t respond he sighed lightly. “Az told me what happened. If you want to go back and rest that’s fine” there was a soft sorrow in his voice.

“I’m here to train” you said with determination and grit.

“Alright then” Cassian couldn’t hide the impressed smile on his face as he gestured for you to go to your group.

As you walked to the other side of the ring some of the priestesses bowed their heads to you. They didn’t whisper or gossip to one another about the state that you were in. But they nodded their heads in understanding. This was the reason you were all here. They had each been hurt in one way or another and they came here to heal from their past wounds. Azriel watched wide eyed as you approached, his brows knitted slightly. He carefully stepped in front of you before you could get into position in the group.

“You don’t have to be here” his voice was quiet and soft as he stood barely an inch in front of you. You looked up as he towered over you. His hazel eyes gleaming with concern.

“Yes, I do” you took in a deep breath. “The whole reason I came to training was to learn how to fight. To get out of my own head and to know that if I ever end up in a situation like that again I can stand up for myself”.

“I won’t let anything like that happen again” Azriel tried to assure you, but you shook your head.

“You won’t always be there, Az” you bit your lip. “Last night, I was lucky that you happened to be out and in the right place at the right time doing whatever it was you were doing” he seemed to freeze again but you carried on. “Next time, you might not be” as much as it pained you to say, you knew you couldn’t always rely on someone to rescue you.

He stared at you for a second before nodding his understanding. “I’m not going to go easy on you” he dared a half smirk.

“I wouldn’t expect you too” you returned it before taking your position in the circle.

You worked harder then you ever had before during the training session. Something inside you had sparked a fire and you let it burn right through you. Each movement you performed was followed through with pure rage. Rage at yourself for not being able to fight. Rage at your father and brother for your past. Rage at the King of Hybern for the attack that killed your mother. Every fibre in your body surged with the new force of your combined emotions that used to eat you alive.

Once the training had finished for the day, sweat dripping down your brow, you were met by Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie. They passed you a glass of water that you took gratefully. “I’m sorry about what happened” Gwyn took your cut up hand in hers.

“It’s not your fault” you shook your head at the priestess.

“You can stay here for as long as you need” Nesta smiled. “In fact, just stay here” she added.

“Thank you for the offer” you smiled but you knew you couldn’t stay here forever as much as you would like too. The room you stayed in last night was around the size of your whole apartment. The house itself looks after you, instead of having to do it all yourself. It sounded like a dream.

“Think about it at least” Nesta wouldn’t take a straight no for an answer.

Lunch was just as it usually was. The house provided a fully cooked meal and you all sat around the table chatting. Even Azriel had joined you for once. Although he barely said a word as he sat quietly picking at his food. After an hour Nesta and Gwyn excused themselves to go to the house library.

“I have some business to sort out with Devlon back at Windhaven, so I’ll take you back Emerie” Cassian stood from his seat at the table, slapping Azriel on the shoulder. Azriel scowled at him which only made Cassian laugh.

“Thank you” Emerie stood to leave, saying her goodbyes to you as the two of them left. The room fell silent as you were left alone with Azriel. At first you sat there staring at the empty plate in front of you before it disappeared.

“What’s your plan for the rest of the day?” you tried to make small talk as the silence became too loud.

“I’m waiting to hear from Rhys. Until then I’ve been ordered to wait and do nothing” his voice was laced with the anger from last night as he stabbed an innocent broccoli with his knife. You didn’t want to talk about last night and by the look on Azriel’s face, neither did he. Silence fell yet again as you stared down at the wooden table. “You?” you looked up, his attention was now on you. His plate had seemingly disappeared. The house must not like it when someone plays with their food.

“I should go back home and clean up” you sighed, tapping your finger lightly on the table. The thought of going back was one you couldn’t avoid for long. So you decided not to delay the inevitable. “Would you be able to take me or do I have to face the ten thousand steps?” you smiled slightly, trying to defuse the tension.

“I can take you” he smirked.

It was like returning to a crime scene. Azriel flew you right to the shop window and as you stepped inside the horrors of last night shone in the daylight. The window was fully smashed, except for the shards that clung to the windowpane still. The floor was red with blood, scattered glass everywhere. There were no signs of the two males bodies, thankfully they had been taken away before you returned.

Azriel stood by your side as you stared over the room. At the blood that clung to the wall where one male had hung. Stuck in place by Azriel’s daggers. Papers were flung across the room, some now stained red. You took a deep breath, trying to stop the tears that threatened to roll freely.

“I don’t know where to start” you admitted to Azriel, your breath shaky.

“I can help” he moved past you and into the room. His wings making the space look even smaller than it already looked.

“You don’t have to….” you began but he cut you off.

“I want to, you shouldn’t have to face this alone” he turned to look at you, a soft smile on his lips. “Now, where do you keep your brush? I think that would be the best place to start”. You couldn’t help the small laugh that fell from your lips.

Azriel, the night courts spymaster and trained killer. Who not only saved your life last night but has helped you in so many ways already was asking where your cleaning supplies were? It seemed so silly to you, even when you were surrounded by the devastation that happened last night, you were laughing.

You caught Azriel’s eye. He looked at you like you had gone mad before his eyes lit up too. Almost reading your mind before shaking his head with a bright smile on his lips. “I do clean you know, it’s not that funny” he defended himself but couldn’t help returning a small laugh.

“I’m sorry” you said between breaths of laughter. “There is a cupboard in the back room with everything in” you composed yourself, wiping a stray tear from your face.

The two of you cleaned for a couple of hours until the floor and walls were clean. All the broken shards of glass had been swept. The blood stains on the floor and walls had been scrubbed away and the window now had a wooden board covering it. Someone would come to put a new one in, in a weeks time.

You were exhausted as you threw out the last shard of glass. The room looked almost back to normal. Still full of the usual cracks in the walls and splintered flooring. Remanence from a different attack altogether. “Coffee?” you asked as Azriel placed the last of the cleaning supplies back in the cupboard.

“Sure” he shut the door and followed you up the stairs to your little apartment. His wings barely fitting through the doorframe. You suddenly felt very aware that your studio flat wasn’t at all pretty. It had books piled everywhere. A small wardrobe and one chest of draws that also acted as your dresser. Your bed was still unmade from when you had leaped out of it last night. There were two small chairs that sat in front of a fireplace and next to that was the tiny kitchen. The kitchen had the bare basics with a little table where you ate your meals.

There were no paintings on the grey walls, nothing to make it look like a home. The only picture was of you and your mother one summers day which stood on your dresser. “It’s not much” you cringed as Azriel scanned the room. He paced around as you went to boil some water to make you both a coffee. You saw a faint smile fall on his lip as he beheld the blue floor length dress you had worn to the ball, over a month ago, hanging over the door on the wardrobe. You pulled out two mugs from a cabinet.

“Is this your mother?” he asked. You spun to see him holding the picture of you both and nodded. “You look like her” he smiled. Your heart lightened at his words. Your mother had always been very pretty, catching attention from other males. You guessed that was why your father had gotten so angry a lot of the time. He hated that people fawned over her.

You poured the coffee and took a seat in one of the chairs in front of the fireplace. Azriel sat at the other, shuffling in his seat until his wings were comfortable. You passed him his coffee which he gratefully took sips from.

“How do you do it?” you asked suddenly, his brow furrowed at you. “How do you use what you have learnt in training in a real situation? How do you not get scared and freeze?” the question had been building up in your mind all afternoon. You had done so well in training that morning, punching precisely, defending quickly but last night you could barely register what was happening. Azriel stayed quiet for a minute, thinking through the question.

He cleared his throat. “I do get scared” he admitted, his voice hushed. His hazel eyes met yours “I can’t count how many times I have seen my friends badly wounded, worrying if they are going to make it” you could almost see the memories playing through his head as he spoke, haunting him. “Each time I go into battle I think of that, the people who I care about fighting beside me. The fear of loosing them outweighs the fear of facing my opponent. I must protect them at all costs. That what drives me to settle my mind and fight using my training. Though, when you have been fighting as long as me the training become muscle memory” the corner of his mouth twitched upwards slightly. “You need to focus on the things you care about losing”.

“What if the things you care about have already been lost?” you glanced at the picture on your dresser. “I don’t care about the bakery to fight for it” you sighed.

“Then fight for the people that care about you” Azriel didn’t drop eye contact with you. “Fight for the people who don’t want to lose you”.

“Who could possibly think that way about me?” you asked, tears stinging your eyes. You wanted to believe that there were people who cared about you as much as Azriel cared for his friends, his family. You hoped your friends from training could but you still barely knew them, how could they care that much about you already? Azriel placed his warm hand over yours.

“I’m here, aren’t I?” his deep voice was hushed but certain. You finally took him in, his soft eyes looked into yours. His throat bobbed slightly as his hand remained on yours. The sleeves of his shirt were pushed up to his elbow, his top buttons undone. Showing the start of his Illyrian tattoo that ran cross his chest and down his arms to his wrist. His black hair sat messily on his brow. His words rang in your ears as your heartbeat began to race. Heat flushed your cheeks as you realised what he was trying to say. Was he trying to say he cared for you?

You didn’t know how to respond. So many questions raced through your head as you stared into those hazel eyes. He gently squeezed your hand causing you to wince. “Shit, I’m sorry. I forgot” Azriel swore as he quickly released your hand. The cuts on your palm had almost healed but they still stung.

“It’s fine” you shook yourself back into the room. “Are you finished with your coffee?” you quickly stood from your seat, taking the empty mug from his other hand and racing to the kitchen to wash them out. Your mind was racing. You needed to say something, anything, but words failed you.

“It’s getting dark” Azriel pulled your attention back to him. He scratched the back of his neck, his cheeks a slightly darker shade of red. “We should get back to the house”.

Cassian and Nesta were already seated at the dining table when you and Azriel landed back at the house of wind. You had barely spoken a word to one another on the flight back. Just when you thought you found the right words to say, you found a flaw in them, so you kept quiet. Even the small talk that passed between you was strained.

All you had to do was say that you cared for him too. How hard could that possibly be? Unless you had read into what he said too much and he doesn’t actually care for you. Then you would just be embarrassing yourself.

You excused yourself from dinner explaining how tired you were. They all bowed their heads in understanding. Your aching legs somehow carried you as you walked down the hall to the spare room. A hot bath was already waiting for you when you arrived.

“Thank you” you whispered to the house. Nesta had told you that it would bring you anything you needed, all you had to do was ask. You climbed into the warm water, allowing your muscles to relax into the water. A smile broke through your lips as realisation hit you. Azriel cared about you. You weren’t sure in what way, but he cared and that’s all that matter to you.

Memories of how he protected you last night flashed through your head. His face full of pure anger at the two males who had hurt you. A face you never thought you would see. You thought about the way he held you whilst you cried. Not once releasing his grip until he knew you were ok, until he knew you were safe.

You pleaded with yourself not to read too much into it. He probably meant as a sister or as a friend. Reminding yourself of the way he looked at Elain. But he was right. If you could fight for anyone it could be for him. It could be for Nesta, Gwyn, Emerie and even Cassian.

You went to sleep that night with the thoughts of your friends, of Azriel. Not one nightmare broke through whilst you thought of them and you dreamt of the life you could have, surrounded by the people who you didn’t realise you had grown to care for so much.

Two months had gone by since the attack. After your talk with Azriel, you got a new lease of life. Your training seemed to have more of a purpose to you now. Each day you improved massively. You had even managed to cut the ribbon, crowning you a true Valkyrie.

Your small training group had now joined the rest of the priestesses, Nesta and Emeire. With both Azriel and Cassian instructing you, you were under double the scrutiny. If you put as much as a toe in the wrong position, one of them would catch you and you would have to repeat the exercise until you got it right.

You didn’t Azriel much around the house in the evenings, he was often away on a job for Rhysand. The only time you were able to talk to him were on your days off. Without fail he would meet you back in the training ring for your extra training. You hadn’t spoken about what he said and how much it had helped you. Even though you are sure he could see the difference in you. Something inside you told you to wait until the right moment.

Nightmares still kept you awake at night. When you were alone in the dark room and your thoughts were set free. You would practise mind stilling if you weren't tired enough for sleep to take over straight away. But some nights your nightmares would wake you up, your heart thundering as cold sweat drenched your body. You still had a lot to work on but you were slowly fixing yourself.

For the first week of living at the house of wind you would spend your afternoon in the library. Helping Nesta stack the books back on the shelves or reading anything you found interesting. However, once the window had been replaced in your shop you had to return. You spent your spare time plastering the cracks in the walls, fixing the floorboards or painting the shop. It was time to face the horrors that haunted you.

By the end of the first month, the shop was back up and running. It looked brand new and you invited Nesta and her sisters to the grand reopening. They were more then happy to come, bringing along Fayre’s son Nyx. They couldn’t get enough of the new recipes that you had been working on.

Even though things were starting to get back to normal you still stayed at the house of wind under Nesta’s orders. At first you refused but for her own sanity you stayed. Although, you kept telling her it was only temporary.

“Are you ready for Starfall tonight?” Nesta said after lunch one day.

“That’s tonight?” you asked. You couldn’t believe how quickly it had come around.

“How could you forget? Everyone will be here to watch it” she rolled her eyes at you. “Don’t worry. I have the perfect dress for you” she reassured you as you began to panic. Another party, so soon. You had barely gotten over the last one.

“I love Starfall” Gwyn mused. “The one night of the year where all the priestesses gather together to watch”.

“So, you won’t be here?” you questioned. Gwyn shook her head in response.

“I won’t be either” Emerie admitted. “I have a date” she smiled but she didn’t look too keen on the idea.

“Don’t. Even. Think about it” Nesta stared at you as you opened your mouth. “I’m already annoyed these two aren’t coming, you are not getting out of it”.

You sat back in your chair and crossed your arms over your chest. Without your two friends to cling onto while Nesta is dancing?

Chapter 9

#acotar #acotar fandom #acotar fanfiction #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel x you #batboys #cassian

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miss-shawdowsinger · 1 year

Text

Soothing Darkness - Azriel X reader fanfic

Chapter 7

Summary: Y/N comes face to face with death before confiding in Azriel about her past

Warnings: violence and talks of trauma. Language. Please read at your own discretion.

AN: This chapter is a bit of a whirlwind. You get to delve more into Y/N's past. I have loved their relationship so far but this takes it to a new level. Please please let me know what you think ❤️

Chapter 1

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At the next training session everyone seemed to stare at you. Even Azriel seemed to do a double take as Cassian dropped you off. The Illyrain leathers clung to your figure, making your ass look incredible. You had debated wearing them when you tried them on that morning. They were incredibly comfortable and moveable, but they left nothing to the imagination when it came to your body shape.

“Look who’s becoming a proper warrior now” Cassian had looked you up and down as you opened the door to him. Your new toned body looked incredible but you were very self-conscious. The only thing that made you wear them, was the fact Azriel had gifted you them for training. If you turned up without them on, he might take it personally.

“Where did you get these” Emerie raced over to you. Spinning you in a circle to take in the full view.

“They were a solstice gift” you spun once more as your friends gawked at you.

“That’s an expensive gift. They are brand new and amazing quality” Emerie felt the leather fabric at your arm.

“Who got you them?” Nesta’s questioning eyes landed on you. Your heart stopped for a moment. You weren’t sure whether Azriel would be happy for you to tell everyone. Glancing round your friends, you found the Illyrian stood with Cassian, arms crossed over his chest as they both looked at your small group.

“Just a friend, one of my regulars who I’ve been telling about my training. I’m not sure how he got them but….” You trailed off mid-lie. Nesta’s eyes narrowed, she opened her mouth to say something but was cut off.

“Come on, we have training to get on with, you can all gossip later” Cassian’s voice shouted from the other side of the ring. Thank the mother for his amazing timing. You took the opportunity to stride to the other side of the ring before Nesta could shout after you.

The three priestesses you had been working with were already in position. Azriel watched as you approached the small group. As you caught his eye you shyly looked down at your leathers then back up at him, seeking his approval. A small smile appeared on his face which you returned before getting into your own position in the circle.

The leathers were amazing at keeping you warm but were still breathable enough that when you worked up a sweat you weren’t getting overly hot. They seemed to move so freely, allowing you to move without restriction. After a couple of weeks using them, they quickly became your favourite item of clothing.

Nesta hadn’t broached the subject of who had gifted you them, again. Thankfully for you because you found it hard to lie to your friends. No matter how innocent the lie might be. Plus you thought Nesta could see through any lie you told anyway.

It had been just over a month since winter solstice. The snow on the ground was beginning to clear and the rain seemed to crash down most days. Training was never cancelled, no matter how hard the downpour. Your Illyrian leathers would keep you dry and warm, but you felt sorry for the priestesses who trained in their blue cloaks.

You had progressed to using swords in your training. The three movements Azriel had taught you being the first on the list of movements to perfect. On your days off you would still practise in the afternoons with him. There weren’t anymore close moments between you two as he remained a few feet away from you at all times.

“How are you finding the leathers?” he asked one afternoon.

“They are perfect. They’re doing a good job of keeping me warm” you smiled, knowing that was the reason he gave for giving you them.

“I’m glad” he nodded and that was all you said about the matter. You kept small talk to a minimum whilst training together. But once you had done for the day convocation flowed so easily between the two of you. You made it your mission to make him smile or laugh whilst you were together. To see him smile and be happy, even if only for a split second lightened your chest.

You didn’t know a lot about Azriel and his past. He never spoke of his biological family but only referred to Cassian, Rhys and the others as his family. But you knew by the sadness in his eyes that he hadn’t grown up easily. It was always there, like it was haunting him. Even when he tipped his head back to laugh, you knew he would almost scold himself for letting himself be happy.

You never asked about his hands, and he never asked about your neck. So instead, you would find whatever you could to make him smile. Even just for a second.

Your dreams were filled with different fighting stances, sword techniques and balancing exercises. Unlike the usual nightmares that used to keep you up at night. You dreamt about Azriel and his body pressed against yours as he showed you how to swing the sword. His hand guiding your hip…..

A crash woke you up with a start. Glancing at your clock in the room, it read 2am. You were definitely not late for training again this time. Another crash sounded and you sat bolt upright in your bed. The sounds had come from downstairs. Your first thought was that it was a drunk faerie on his way home from a bar knocking against your window. But shuffled sounds were coming from the shop floor.

You quietly threw away your bed covers and tiptoed across the room. Listening at the top of the stairs for anymore sounds. Shuffling started again. You quickly grabbed a knife from the kitchen and slowly made your way down the stairs. It was pitch black and you could barely see your feet as you placed one in front of the other. Your heartbeat was uncontrollable as your blood ran cold.

Peeking round the doorway to the shop floor, you could see the windows were completely smashed through. The moonlight, that now flooded through the smashed window was the only source of light illuminating the room. A figure appeared in sight, crossing the room to the counter. The figure was much bigger than you as they marched through the shop.

You had a split second to decide. All the training you had completed over the last month had made you strong. You told yourself that you could take on one faerie. They were probably drunk which gave you an advantage, even if they were a lot bigger then you. Your only other options were to hide and hope they don’t find you or chance that you can make it across the shop floor and out of the window to go find help.

You glanced at the figure again. They were preoccupied, rummaging through your draws, they wouldn’t even notice if you took them out from behind.

As quietly as you could, you pushed open the door that you were hiding behind. You took deep breaths as you stepped out into the room. Gripping the hilt of the knife so tightly your knuckles had gone white. You would hit them on the pressure point that Azriel had shown you. ‘It could knock a grown male out’ Azriel’s voice rung through your mind.

Making your way across the room, you identified the spot on the faeries neck you need to hit. It seemed easy enough. You raised your arm, ready to make the blow when a floorboard creaked behind you.

You spun around at the sound, but it was too late. Another figure appeared out of the corner of the room. Grabbing your wrist of the hand that held the knife. You swung your free arm, hitting him square in the jaw but his grip didn’t faulter on your wrist.

“Stupid bitch” the fae roared as his other hand came up to hit you back. You moved your free arm again to block the attack but the other fae grabbed it. Allowing for the male in front of you to land the blow. He struck right on your cheekbone, causing your vision to blacken as you fell to the floor. Pain roared through your head. You had dropped the knife on impact, it had scattered across the floor somewhere.

“Hold her will you” the other fae, also a male instructed. You didn’t have time to think or gather your thoughts. Before the male could grab you, you began crawling across the floor, out of reach. The glass from the shattered windows tearing the skin on your hands and knees. You could feel the warm blood trickling down your fingers.

The window. You aimed for the window, you could jump out and run to get help. But before you could even reach the wall, large hands grabbed the back of your nightgown. They pulled you back into the room. You kicked, clawed, and screamed, anything to release their grip on you.

“Be quiet” he pulled you up off the floor and slammed you into the wall. Your head and back took the full brunt of the impact. Pain shot down your spine as you let out a whine. The male held you by your throat, constricting your breathing and keeping you quiet. The second male was still rummaging through your draws. If they were looking for money, they were looking in the wrong place.

“Ask her where it is” he instructed, pulling out scrap pieces of paper from the draws. You took the opportunity, while the male holding you was distracted. You brought you knee up and hit him in the groin. He instantly let go, cupping himself. Your legs moved as soon as your feet hit the floor. Adrenaline was the only thing keeping you focused and moving.

You managed to make it three steps before the fae’s outstretched hand wrapped around your ankle. The ground came up to meet you as you lost all your balance. Glass cut your face on the impact. A shard stuck just below your eye. You groaned, turning onto your back as the male stood over you. Fear took over your whole body, your only chance now was to land a lucky punch.

The male towered over your cowering form. You could see the hatred in his eyes from the moonlight that lit the room. “I’m going to say this only once, so don’t make me ask you again” his dark voice grated. “Where is the…..” you saw the males eyes widen momentarily, he looked like he had seen a ghost, before a flash of sliver steel swung above you. The fae’s head fell to the floor beside you. The rest of his body almost falling on top of you.

You shuffled back as the body hit the ground, right where you had been. Your back hit something solid as the blood from the males severed neck began trickling towards you. Looking up, there was another figure with huge wings that almost took up the entire room. A bloodied sword held at their side. His shadows curled around him, his face burning with anger as he looked down at you, sitting at his feet. Azriel turned his attention to the other male in the room. In one swift motion he was upon the fae, striking three blows to his stomach, before lifting his knee up to meet his face. The fae fell to the floor with a thud.

Azriel grabbed him by the front of his jacket and held him up against the wall. You watched frozen in place as he took out a dagger. He stabbed it through the fae’s shoulder with enough force that it stuck in the wall behind him. The fae’s scream rattled off the walls. You had never seen Azriel look so deadly. His eyes bore into the males as he took out another dagger.

“Please” the fae screamed. Azriel’s features only became darker as he stabbed the dagger through his other shoulder and into the wall.

“Who are you?” Azriel growled. A voice you had never heard from him and prayed you wouldn’t have too again. It was so animalistic as he released the fae. The male now held in place by the two daggers Azriel had placed in his shoulders.

“I- I” the fae stuttered.

“Don’t make me ask you again” Azriel repeated what the dead fae had said moments ago. He pulled out the dagger that he always kept on his belt. Before the male could answer. A figure stepped out of the shadows in the corner of the room.

“Az” Rhys said. His violet eyes took in the scene around him before landing on his friend. “What happened here?” his growl matched Azriel’s. You could feel his power pulsing throughout the room.

“I was just about to find out” Azriel sheathed the blade. Rhys’ appearance seemingly pulling him out of whatever had taken over him. His hazel eyes met mine. You were still sat on the floor where the dead fae lay at your feet. Blood soaked your nightgown and hands.

Azriel rushed to your side. He crouched down in front of you before gently taking your face in his hands to assess all the damage. You winced as his thumb grazed along your cheekbone, where you had been hit. His eyes were now a mixture of sorrow and that burning rage.

“Do you think you can stand?” his voice soothing unlike the growl you had just heard. You nodded, unable to find your voice. He went to grab your hands and help to pull you up but there were shards of glass eating into your palm. There was a roar in his throat as he instead wrapped his hands around your wrists and pulled you up to your feet.

He pulled you against his chest, wrapping you in his arms. It was then that you started sobbing. Tears burnt down your cheeks as the realisation of what had just happened hit you. He kept holding onto you as your tears stained his shirt. “It’s alright, your safe now” he tightened his grip around you. “I’ve got you” his voice was so soft and careful.

“He’s one of Keir’s” Rhys voice rippled through the room. The male now hung lifeless against the wall. Rhys had either killed him or he had passed out from the pain. You didn’t know and you didn’t care. “Y/N, look at me”. You looked up to meet his violet eyes. You must have looked as bad as you feel because Rhys’ eyes saddened as he gazed upon your tear-stained face.

“I’ll kill them” Azriel growled again. Still holding you tightly against his chest.

“If you do that, you’ll start a war in our own court” Rhys calmly spoke. “I’ll speak to Keir”.

“Speak to him? Mother knows what could have happened if I hadn’t have gotten here in time” Azriel shouted at the high lord, gripping you tighter. His chest was heaving with heavy breaths. Rhys gave Azriel a warning look.

“Then it’s a good job you were in the right place at the right time Az” Rhys voice was cold. Azriel froze as the two males stared at one another. It was almost like they were having a private convocation in their minds. Rhys eyes widened slightly after a moment looking down to you and then back to Azriel. “I will not tolerate this. You should know better then anyone what consequences this will bring” Rhys turned his attention back to you, his features softened. “Azriel will take you to the house of wind, he will get you cleaned up. You can stay there for as long as you need” he nodded at you.

“What will you do?” Azriel asked, his voice still laced with anger.

“I’m going to pay a little visit to the court of nightmares” Rhys snarled as he winnowed away into the night.

Azriel flew the both of you up to the house of wind, cradling you in his arms. Your body was shaking uncontrollably as he sat you down on a small sofa in front of the fire. Tears flowed silently down your cheeks as you stared into the fire. You kept on seeing the males head fall from its body to the floor.

“May I?” you looked up to see Azriel had pulled up a chair to sit in front of you. He had a pair of tweezers in his hand. You looked blankly at him. His features had softened back to the Azriel that you knew but images of his burning anger flooded through your memory. “You have a lot of glass in your hands and face, I just want to get them out” his hazel eyes met yours and you nodded.

Gently, he took your hands one at a time in his. His touch was so gentle and warm as he picked out the shards of glass. Each time he pulled one out, you tried to control your wince. He then moved onto the shard just below your eye. Ever so slowly he pulled it from your skin.

“Can anybody from the court of nightmares come to Velaris?” you suddenly found your voice. Azriel’s eyes lifted to your, furrowing his brow but nodding slightly.

“Numbers are limited and only with prior warnings but yes” he paused, sighing deeply. “Anyone can come”. You shuddered at the thought. “I won’t let anything happen to you” Azriel tensed, gently caressing your cheek. “I promise nothing like this will ever happen again” his eyes pleaded with yours to believe him.

“I tried to fight back” your voice wobbled as you strained to get the words out without crying. “I tried but I couldn’t do it” the tears began to stream again.

“They are trained soldiers Y/N” Azriel shook his head. “They have been training all their lives, you have only been training a couple months. You still managed to put up a good fight from what I saw” he wiped the fresh tears from your cheeks. Going gently enough over that you didn’t wince as his thumb traced over your bruises and cuts. “I’m proud of you. Rhys will sort this whole mess out and nothing like this will ever happen again”.

“That’s not what worries me” you turned your face away from him. “I wasn’t born in Velaris” your voice was just above a whisper.

“What do you mean?” Azriel’s brows furrowed. He took your chin gently in his hands and tilted it, so you looked into his eyes. “Whatever it is, you can trust me” his hazel eyes seemed to look straight into your soul. But you nodded, you knew with every fibre of your being that you could trust the male in front of you.

“I was born at the Hewn City” you swallowed hard. Azriel clasped your hands in his but remained silent allowing you to continue. “My father wasn’t exactly kind. He had always been angry. For as long as I can remember her used to beat my mother. Not just giving her the odd bruise or cut but until her bones would shatter. My mother used to ask for help but no one gave her the time of day. When I turned ten, my father turned on me too. In some ways I was happy that not all of his anger was taken out on my mother but by the time I was twelve I counted 21 of my bones he had broken.

“My mother and I were defenceless against him. I had a big brother, I think my mum had hoped that when he came of age he would defend us. But growing up in that environment turned him mean too. He never raised a hand to my mother but to me…..I think he thought it was a game.” Azriel gripped your hand tighter as you wept.

“It’s alright, I’m here” he wiped away the tears again. You took a deep breath before continuing.

“One night my father came home drunk. Well, drunker then usual. He had lost a lot of money in a gambling game and was furious. Loud bangs had woken me up, so I went to go see what had happened. He had beaten my mother unconscious, thought he had killed her. He spotted me and warned me not to say anything. I couldn’t register what he was asking of me. My mother lay on the floor lifeless. So he lashed out when I didn’t respond. He tried to slit my throat to silence me too” your hand flew to the scar around your neck. “he didn’t do a very good job so as it healed he attempted again and again until he thought he had killed me too. He left our bodies on the street.”

Azriel’s throat bobbed as he allowed himself to look at the scar on your neck. It was a sloppy line that started near your ear and finished across your neck to the centre of your collarbone. He then looked at his own scared hands, his face full of understanding.

“Two wraiths found us alive and took us to Rhysand” Azriel’s eyes flew to yours in surprise. “I was still a child at the time, only sixteen years old. I’m not surprised he doesn’t recognise me, it was over 200 years ago. He brought us back to live in Velaris where my mum found a life for us and set up the bakery” you sighed. “My brother and father think I’m dead but if anyone can come to Velaris from the Hewn city then I’m worried that….” You trailed off as your heart began to pound again.

“I won’t let anything happen to you Y/N” Azriel stood up and came to sit beside you on the sofa. He pulled you into him so your head rest on his chest. You listened to his slightly rushed heartbeat as he ran his hands softly through your hair. “I understand what it’s like to grow up scared” Azriel’s voice was slightly hoarse. “That’s a story for another time but I want you to know that I understand and I’m grateful you trust me enough to tell me” his arm wrapped around you tighter and you began to weep again, burring your face into his shirt.

Azriel held you until you felt numb. Until there were no more tears left and your body had stopped shaking. He didn’t say another word. He just held you tightly, reassuring you that he was there and you were safe. You don’t know how long you had sat there curled into his embrace. You had barley noticed that you were still in your bloodied nightgown.

“Why don’t you get washed up then try get some sleep?” Azriel softly asked after a while. You nodded in response, removing your head from his chest. He released his grip on you then stood, pulling you up beside him.

Down the hall was a spare bedroom with an en suite bathroom. Azriel ran the bath while you washed the dried blood from your hands and face. The cuts on your hands had already started to heal but there was a large black bruise on one side of your face and a bloodied gash on the other. You looked like hell.

“Hopefully the bruise will start to clear up in the morning” Azriel met your stare in the mirror. “The bath is ready so I’ll leave you to it. My bedroom is just across the hall if you need anything” he scanned your face one last time. You nodded your thanks, and he left the room. The bath was huge, big enough to accommodate Illyrian wings.

You scrubbed at your skin until it was clean. Letting the hot water soak to your bones but you were too tired to linger in the water and relax. You dried yourself and only just managed to throw the bed covers over your exhausted body before you sleep took over you.

Chapter 8

#acotar #acotar fandom #acotar fanfiction #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel x you #batboys #cassian

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miss-shawdowsinger · 1 year

Text

Soothing Darkness - Azriel X reader fanfic

Chapter 6

Summary: the aftermath or the party the night before and happy solstice.

Warnings: swearing

AN: Hello everyone! I hope you are still enjoying reading this fic. Please let me know what you think so far!! I love this chapter, definitely more one on one time with Az so enjoy ❤️

Chapter 1

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The next morning you felt like your head had been caved in by a rock. You couldn’t remember how much wine you had to drink but you were paying the price for it this morning. Emeire had softly woken you up, but you just growled at her. She resorted to dragging your limp body out of bed. Refusing to open your eyes, as your body hit the cold wooden floor.

“We have training in ten minutes” she prodded you until one of your eyes opened. The light from the morning sun burnt through your skull and you quickly closed it again. “Fine, I tried. Don’t come crying to me when Cassian drags your ass out there in your nightgown” she huffed as she marched out the door.

You stayed on the floor for another minute contemplating the thought before dragging yourself from the floor. Your head felt like lead as you went to the washroom and got ready. Every movement had your brain rattling against your skull. Surely if you are thins hungover, you must have been drunk last night. Maybe so drunk that you imagined how a certain Illyrian made you feel whilst dancing together.

The alcohol. That was the reason you got flustered. Not Azriel.

You pulled on your boots and made your way down the long hallway to the training rings. Who in their right minds has training the day after a party? The ice cold, winter air struck you as soon as you stepped out of the warm house. Your body instantly protested, begging you to return back inside.

There were already a couple of priestesses waiting around the ring, Emerie and Gwyn were also amongst the group. If you snuck back in now and hid until training was over, no one would know. No one had seen you yet and Emerie could just say that I was too hungover to join. But it was too late…

“Y/N” Emerie called your name, waving you over to join them. You crossed your arms over your chest and clenched your hands in your armpits for any warmth they could offer. Taking a deep sigh, you strode over to meet your friends. “Decided to join then?” Emerie laughed at your unamused face.

“I feel like death is hanging over me” you slumped to the floor in the middle of the training ring. Not caring that the ground was slightly wet from the rain during the night. The two girls couldn’t control their laughter.

“Morning” Cassian’s voice rose above the small chatter. You didn’t have the energy to look up to see him. “Lets get started, shall we” he clapped his hands together, the noise so loud it made your temples ache.

You tucked your knees up to your chest and buried your face in them. The only sound was of the wind and the other priestesses taking up positions around the ring. Taking deep breaths you pleaded with the mother, you will never drink a drop of alcohol again if she would take this damn hangover away. She didn’t answer.

“Feeling fragile?” a soft deep voice asked. You raised your head slightly to see Azriel, he was crouched down in front of you. Smiling. Of course, he found your pain amusing. There was not one hair out of place on his head. His leatherers were pristine and his eyes were bright and full of life. You must have looked like crap in comparison. With a groan, you buried your face again. “Come on, I’ll go easy on you” you could hear his smirk even if you weren’t looking at him.

“Liar” you murmured into you knees. Waiting for a second, you raised your head, hoping that he had given up on you and walked off to begin his session. As you opened your eyes you found him still crouched in front of you. His head slightly tilted, his forearms resting on his thighs.

It wasn’t just the alcohol.

You felt your heart begin to beat loudly against your ribcage as his hazel eyes met yours. His damn half smile made you shiver. He held out his hand to you. Your hand moved to meet his without you asking it too. He pulled you up from your sitting position on the floor, eyes still locked with yours as you stood before him.

Azriel tilted his head towards the three priestesses, stood waiting for you. You sighed heavily as you looked over to them, they had already started their stretches. About to take a step towards the group you realised you still held onto his hand. Quickly you released your grip on him, hoping he hadn’t read into it too much. A small blush of embarrassment darkened your cheeks. Turning on your heels away from him, you made your way over to the group. Acutely aware of the wet patch on your trousers from where you had been sat on the ground.

But he hadn’t dropped your hand either.

Azriel did not go easy on you. Not one bit. He had you working on your footwork and strengthening exercises. Squats, sprints, push ups. Name it and he made you do it. Your body was not your friend, threatening to spew your guts up each time you ran out of breath. The cold air made every movement even more excruciating. Your muscles tensed up, trying to cling onto as much heat as it possibly could.

Even the meanest scowl you could muster was not conveying how much you resented Azriel in those moments. His face back to it’s usual mask of no emotions as he made you complete each exercise until you had delivered it perfectly. You collapsed at the end of the session.

“Thank the mother that’s over” you swore as Gwyn looked over you. You were laid on the floor, catching your breath.

“It did look intense” Gwyn snorted. “Cassian had us all working on mind stilling for the majority of our session” you narrowed your eyes at her, then gave a rude gesture to Azriel’s back. “Here” Gwyn gestured to the glass of water in her hand. You sat up and took it gratefully.

The only saving grace about today, was that it was your day off. You could go home, get a warm bath and sleep for the rest of the day. The thought made you sigh as you waited for Cassian to finish his convocation with a group of priestesses before taking you home. You didn’t even want to wait around to have lunch, your bed was calling out your name and all you wanted to do was answer.

“I’ll see you in an hour” the voice broke you from your daydream. Azriel now stood next to Gwyn, looking down at you again. You opened your mouth to speak but before you could he strode off. Covering your face with both of your hands, you could have cried. Your days off were usually spent doing extra practise with Azriel. But it wasn’t a rule, you didn’t have to do it. It was just something to do in your spare time but there was no arguing with him as he strode off.

“Good luck” Gwyn patted your shoulder as she and the others excused themselves from the table. You had barley eaten anything at lunch. Each bite you took made you want to be sick. You gave her a half smile before pushing yourself up.

You made your way to the training rings for the second time that day. Azriel was already stood waiting for you. “Feeling any better?” his smirk was visible from the other side of the ring.

“No” you gritted your teeth. “I’m glad you find it so funny” you came to stand beside him.

“Next lesson. No matter how sick or injured you are, that won’t make your rival go easier on you” you rolled your eyes at him.

“Thanks for the tip. Can I go now?” you grunted.

“Pick up a wooden sword and when you complete three exercises, I’ll take you home” you narrowed your eyes at him, you hadn’t moved onto swords yet. He gestured to the wooden swords in front of you. Begrudgingly you picked one up. The weight of it shocked you but you didn’t let it show on your face.

“Good. I’m going to show you three movements and I want you to copy them” he took up his stance. “One” he sliced his sword upwards in a swift, easy movement. “That will cut your rival open from navel to sternum, try it”.

You copied what Azriel had just shown you. The weight of the sword making your movement sloppy and unbalanced. You wobbled slightly, stumbling to the side to catch yourself before you fell over.

“Keep your feet at shoulders width” he demonstrated. You tried it again, widening your stance. The second attempt was no better then the first. “You are holding yourself wrong. You need to shift your balance to make up for the weight of the sword” Azriel instructed.

On the fifth attempt of it going wrong, you threw the sword to the floor. “I can’t, this is useless” you practically shouted as you looked out to the city of Velaris below. All you wanted was to go to sleep, you had three exercises standing in your way and you couldn’t even do the first one.

You took in deeps breaths and counted to ten before you turned to face Azriel. Who, surprisingly hadn’t said anything about your small outburst. He was stood with his arms crossed over his chest. His face unreadable as he looked between you and the sword on the floor. A silent command to pick it up.

You debated throwing the sword over the mountain but there were plenty of others Azriel would make you use instead. Slowly, you bent down, picked up the sword and got into position again.

“Here, let me show you” you almost huffed, he had shown you the movement three times now. Showing you again, wouldn’t make a difference. But instead of demonstrating it again, he came to stand behind you. His arms wrapped around you as he placed his hands over yours, gripping the sword tightly.

His chest was pressed up against your back. His heat radiating into your body. You swallowed hard, trying to ignore the feeling of his muscled body embracing your smaller frame. His shadows started to encircle around your neck and arms.

He lightly tapped his foot against your calves. “Widen your stance slightly” he spoke softly. His lips were right next to your ear. You felt his hot breath on the nape of your neck. A shiver ran down your spine, but you did as he asked. Each steady breath he took sent a warm trail down your neck.

Azriel completed the movement slowly, moving your body with his own. “Here. This is where you are losing balance” he released one of his hands from the hilt of the sword and moved it to your hip. His hands gripped it slightly, which nearly sent your knees buckling. “Keep your hip back and in line with your torso or the weight of the sword will tip you over” he drew your hip back slightly into the correct position. You swallowed hard before he continued with the movement. He kept his hand firmly placed on your hip as you sliced the sword upward. “Good, now try again” he whispered in your ear.

You turned your head slightly as he held you in place. His face only centimetres away from your own. You were both sharing the same breath and his hazel eyes met yours. He didn’t flinch away from your gaze. The winters cold air unable to control the heat rampaging through your entire body. If it wasn’t for his strong arms wrapped around you, you swore you would have fallen over.

His lips were slightly parted, and his throat bobbed. All it would take was for his head to tip down slightly and his lips would be on yours. It was almost as if he had read your thoughts because he suddenly cleared his throat and released his grip on you. His body stepping away from yours. The cold crashed into you like a tidal wave.

Your chest tightened. All your thoughts came flooding to you as you got back into position.

Elain. He likes Elain. You saw how they looked at each other. You’ve just embarrassed yourself. Keep your cool, act like nothing happened. He is your trainer, nothing more. Get over it.

The thoughts powered you on. Frustration aimed at yourself pulled you together to perform the first movement, almost perfectly. Slicing upwards in one swift movement.

“Good. Again” Azriel stood a couple feet away from you now. His arms crossed over his chest and face unreadable. His shadows curled around him more than usual, but you ignored him as you performed the movement again.

It had been over an hour but you had finally grasped each of the three movements. Azriel, had stayed a few feet away from you for the rest of the session. Luckily, once you found your balance point, with the added weight of the sword, the next two movements were easier to follow.

Your whole body trembled as you placed the heavy sword down. The lack of food and sleep had taken its toll on you. Your stomach was now growling and your headache had cleared. Small beads of sweat rolled down your brow as you cooled off. You kept your eye contact with Azriel to a minimum, making sure to only glance at him whilst he was demonstrating something.

Silence fell over the both of you as you finished your stretches and sipped on a glass of water. Usually the silence between the two of you was comfortable but you could cut the tension with a knife. You both stood next to one another, leaning against the wall, whilst taking long drinks from your glasses. You stared at your feet. Not daring to look at the Illyrian, who’s wings nearly brushed your arm.

“Any plans for winter solstice?” Azriel’s deep voice broke through the silence.

“Not really” you admitted, finally looking up at him. His hazel eyes met yours but there was a sadness behind them. “You?”.

“We are just doing what we do every year” a small smile tugged at his lips. “Go to Rhys and Fayre’s, exchange gifts, eat and drink until we all pass out. Then Cass, Rhys and I have our solstice tradition”.

“Do I dare ask what it is?” you returned his smile. The tension that was there a second ago seemed to float away on the wind.

“Definitely not” he laughed, tilting his head back slightly.

“That sounds nice though” you bit your bottom lip. Trying to dispel any hint of sorrow in your voice. You used to spend solstice with your mum. She would cook you an amazing dinner and you would exchange presents before taking a walk around Velaris to see all the lights and merry music. Since she had died you hadn’t celebrated it at all. You had no one to go to, the only tradition you kept is the walk through Velaris in the evening. It was the only part of Solstice you still enjoyed.

Azriel seemed to sense the shift in your manner. No matter how hard you tried to stop it. “Who will you be spending it with?” he asked softly.

“Just me” you put on a fake smile, his brow narrowed. “I don’t mind” you said quickly before he got a chance to say anything. You knew how lonely and sad it sounded. “I quite like it really, I go for a walk in the evening and listen to the music playing down the street. Cooking for one is so much easier then cooking for a houseful” you suspected he saw straight through your façade but if he did, he didn’t say anything.

Once Azriel had dropped you off at home you ate a pile of pastries and soaked in a hot bath before collapsing in a heap on your bed. You had fallen asleep at 5pm and not woken until 8am the next day. The rest of the week ran smoothly, running up to winter solstice. No more hangovers and training was going well.

It was the morning of winter solstice and a fresh snow had covered the cobbled streets outside your window. Training wasn’t on this morning or the next, Cassian had made it very clear that it was his only days off in the year. There were three gifts that you had in the corner of your room. You had exchanged them with Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie the day before at training. It had taken all your will to wait until solstice morning to open them.

You opened the first small box from Gwyn. Inside was a small bottle of lavender bubble bath. You had mentioned a couple days ago that Gwyn always seemed to smell of lavender, even after she had sweated through training.

The second present was from Emerie. Three books were wrapped together. Romantic novels that she had recommended for lonely nights. You scanned the blurbs before moving to the third and final box.

Nesta had gifted you the earrings to match the necklace she had gotten you for the ball. A small note inside read ‘You can’t go without a matching set’. You laughed at the small note before putting the earrings on your dresser.

You began prepping your winter solstice dinner. Cutting up the vegetables, seasoning them just how you liked. The small chicken you bought from the butchers would last you a full week. You placed it all in the oven and started a small fire to sit in front of. Grabbing the first book on the small pile that Emerie had gifted you, you began reading whilst waiting for your meal to cook.

After a couple hours, and a few smut scenes later in your book, you sat down to eat your meal. You used the same recipes that your mother used to use. It brought you comfort as you sat watching the fire crackle, drinking a whole bottle of wine to yourself. It had grown dark outside by the time you had finished your meal and washed the dishes.

You pulled your big winter coat on, along with your hat and gloves. It was time for your walk and you could already hear the faint sound of the music playing from the heart of Velaris. As you were pulling your boots on you heard a loud knock at the front door. You furrowed your brow in confusion. Who the hell could that be?

Tentatively, you made your way down the stairs and to the front door. The silhouette flooding through the door gave no indication of who it was, just that they were tall and broad. You unlocked and slowly opened the door. The males back was turned to you, though he had wings held tightly behind him. His blue siphons gleamed on the back of his hands.

“Azriel?” your croaked out, realising you hadn’t spoken all day. He turned to face you, his cheeks flushed.

“Hi” he looked you up and down. “Are you going out?” he asked noticing your coat.

“I was about to go for my walk” you blinked, still not quite believing that he was stood on your doorstep.

“Right” he nodded. “I’ll leave you to it” he went to turn around and leave.

“You can join me if you want?” the words flooded out of your mouth before you had fully thought them through. There must be some reason why he had appeared at your doorstep on winter solstice. His hazel eyes met yours.

“Are you sure?” he asked. You nodded, a small smile appeared on his lips. “Lead the way”.

The two of you walked at a leisurely pace, following the sound of the music until you made it to the centre of Velaris. The streets were alive with faeries dancing and singing. The decorative lights illuminated the streets with hundreds of different colours. A band played in the centre of a small square. The music upbeat and merry as you stood and watched them. You couldn’t help the smile that graced your face as you let the music flow through you.

It was nice to have company on your walk again, for the last two solstices you had gone on your own. Yes, it had been lonely, but you felt closer to your mother somehow. Hoping that she was somehow with you as you wondered the snowy streets of your home city.

“I can see why you like doing this” Azriel bent down to say in your ear. You looked up to him, there was a slight spark in his eye. His smile brightly matched yours as you both watched the band play. The smell of pine and cinnamon filled the air. There was children playing in the snow, laughing as they created a small snowman.

As the band finished their first set you carried on walking, Azriel keeping in step by your side. The two of you walked side by side along the sidra. It’s blue waters reflecting the lights from the city and the stars above.

“I thought you had plans today?” you finally asked. Breaking from the previous convocation you were having about who would win in a fight. Nesta or Cassian. You had definitely sided with Nesta saying that you would rather fight Cassian then her. Azriel had only laughed, listing off all the battles Cassian had fought it. He still hadn’t changed your mind.

“I do. Sometimes dinner can get a bit heated, especially when alcohol is involved. I tend to try and stay out of it” he smirked and came to a stand still on the bridge that crossed the river. He lent against the wall, looking over the edge to the Sidra that ran below. You took a place beside him, watching the water flow out to the sea. “I also had one more gift to give out” he pulled out a parcel from the shadows that gathered around his hand and handed it to you. “Happy solstice”.

You blinked down at the parcel that now laid in your hands. “I didn’t get you anything” your chest tightened.

“I didn’t expect you to” Azriel smiled sweetly at you. His hazel eyes met yours as his cheeks went a slightly darker shade of red. “Open it” he gestured to the gift.

Carefully you unwrapped the present. Illyrian leathers, just like the ones that Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn wore to training. You gasped slightly holding them up to your body. “Thank you, they are beautiful” before your brain could register what you were doing, you had flung your arms around Azriel’s neck. Embracing him in a tight hug. You cringed as for a split second, as he didn’t hug you back. You were about to step away and apologise when his arms folded round your waist embracing you tightly back.

After a long minute you stepped back and out of his arms. Thankful for the warmth they had briefly offered you. He cleared his throat “They will keep you warm during training, especially through winter”.

“Thank you” you repeated. Suppressing the smile that he had given you once again. There was a long silence as you looked at one another. His beautiful face, shone perfectly in the lights from the city. You could feel the heat rising through your body, but you quickly shook it off, breaking eye contact and carrying on walking. “So who would win out of you and Cassian”.

“Definitely me” he scoffed. You had never seen him so at ease with the world as he was in this moment. His shoulders were relaxed, his face was bright and his smile was one of beauty. You wished he would smile more often. Both of you walked slowly the rest of the way back to your shop. Talking about anything that came to mind before you reached your front door.

“Thank you again for the present and for the company” you said as you opened the door.

“My pleasure, thank you for letting me join” he nodded to you with an easy smile. “I better get back to the chaos but I’ll see you in training” he bowed to you.

“Happy solstice” you nodded as you stepped into the shop, closing the door behind you. You heard a strong gust of wind from behind the door as Azriel took off, flying into the night sky.

You stared down at the Illyrian leathers he had gifted you before hugging them closer to your chest. He got you a gift. You felt bad for not getting him one, you should have done after all the help he had given you. It didn’t matter, you told yourself. He had still come to visit you on solstice. For once you hadn’t felt so alone and it was because of him.

Your heartbeat quickly as a rush of excitement flooded you. You couldn’t wait to try the leathers on.

Chapter 7

#acotar #acotar fandom #acotar fanfiction #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel x you #batboys

156 notes · View notes

miss-shawdowsinger · 1 year

Text

Soothing Darkness - Azriel X reader fanfic

Chapter 5

Summary: The ball has arrived. Y/N struggles to keep her lack of dance skills hidden but with someone to guid her she may find it easier then expected.

Warnings: swearing!

AN: so I loved this chapter, it gave me butterflies ❤️ please let me know what you think!

Chapter 1

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The darkness unfurled as quickly as it came. You were a hundred feet above the house of wind, and you were falling. Plummeting downwards to meet the ground. You let out a scream, but the wind took your voice away. Fear stampeded throughout your entire body as you fell looking at the party below. Strong hands wrapped around you and pulled you towards their body. You clung onto Azriel, his wings finally stretching wide as he smoothly began to glide the rest of the way down.

“You alright?” he chuckled as you clung to him like a scared kitten.

“I could have died” you screamed at him.

“I wouldn’t have let that happen” his deep voice almost purred. “We only fell for a second, but I had you, I promise”.

“Couldn’t you have just gone straight to the house?” you looked, the party drew closer as Azriel slowly lowered the both of you to the balcony.

“There are wards around the house” he smirked. “So, no”.

“Never. Do that again” your heartbeat was still wild in your chest, and you cast Azriel you most stern look. His hazel eyes met yours and softened but there was still a hint of amusement behind them.

“Flying only. Noted” he landed softly on the houses balcony, placing you gently down. You stepped out of his arms and stared up at the towering Illyrian.

“I should say thank you” you begrudgingly said narrowing your eyes at him. You wished you could wipe that smug smile right off his face.

“No thanks necessary” he held up both of his hands. You opened your mouth to speak but you were cut off by your name being called. Turning quickly, you found Gwyn and Emerie stood at the glass doors to the house.

“You look amazing” Gwyn strode over to you, embracing you before you could return the compliment. “Come inside, the music is divine” they both grabbed one of your hands and dragged you inside. You glanced over your shoulder to see Azriel stood where he landed, as his shadows coiled around him. He nodded once to you as you got dragged inside.

The house was full of people, all dressed up exquisitely in their ball gowns and suits. There were a couple tables pushed up against the walls around the room which had refreshments. People gathered around the outskirts of the room to chat whilst the centre was filled with dancing couples. Gwyn was right, the music was divine. It was played by a small orchestra who were situated on a stage overlooking the dance floor.

“Here” Emeire handed you a large glass of wine from one of the tables. You took it gladly as you admired the room. How different it looked now to how it usually did. You didn’t recognise anyone as you stared around. It looked like Gwyn was right about the priestesses, as there wasn’t one face you recognised from training.

You followed the two girls around the room, watching the dance partners move in perfect time with one another. Nesta and Cassian were amongst the dancers. You gawked as you watched Nesta move effortlessly, like she was one with the music. The music came to a close and Nesta spotted you in the crowd, dragging Cassian behind her, she marched over to greet you.

“Y/N, the necklace looks great on you” she smiled and you could have sworn she winked at you.

“You shouldn’t have” you touched the necklace sat on your collarbone, half covering the scar on your neck “Thank you”.

“You all clean up well” Cassian smiled down at all three of you. So did he. He looked so different to how you would usually see him. Instead of his Illyrian fighting leathers he wore a black jacket and trousers. His long hair was combed and hung neatly down to his shoulders. Nesta tutted at his half-hearted compliment.

“There are some people I would like you to meet” Nesta tilted her head in a gesture to follow her through the crowd. On the other side of the room there was a small group of people, as you approached you realised straight away who two of them were.

The high lord and high lady of the night court stood together. The picture of happiness as they laughed amongst the group. You quickly downed the rest of your wine before approaching. Liquid courage, you definitely needed that for this.

“Everyone” Nesta announced your arrival to the group. “This is Y/N, she has been training with us here everyday and she owns a bakery in the city” Nesta gestured towards you and six pairs of eyes followed. You suddenly felt very much in the spotlight in front of these very important people. Before you could feel yourself shrinking back on yourself a blonde, gorgeous female fae stepped forward and embraced you.

“Nice to meet you Y/N. I’m Mor” she released you with a friendly smile. “This is Amren” she pointed to a small female with a jet-black bob. Amren raised her glass to you as a greeting, you nodded in return. “This is Elain” she stopped at the pretty young female.

“We’ve met” Elain smiled “I was meant to come back and tell you that your baking is amazing, I’ll have to visit again soon”.

“You are more then welcome anytime” you met her kind smile with your own.

“Next is my cousin Rhys and the beautiful Fayre” Mor continued, taking you round the circle. “Never one without the other” she smirked, gaining a glare back from the high lord before he turned his attention to you. You looked up to find Rhysands violet eyes. They were piercing but beautiful, he was quite something to behold. You could feel how his powers emanated from him even as he stood so casually.

“Nice to meet you” your voice managed to squeak out.

“You too Y/N” his deep voice rattled through you. “I’ve heard great things” he took your hand and gently shook it. You assumed he meant your baking and you blushed slightly as his soft warm hand released yours.

“Lovely to see you again” Fayre pulled your attention away from the high lord. She looked incredible in her long, silver, silk gown.

“And you” you bowed your head to her as you continued to follow Mor around the circle.

“I’m assuming you’ve met this one” Mor gestured to the male in the corner. He stepped out of the shadows, his face finally coming into full view.

“We have indeed” Azriel bowed his head to you. You rolled your eyes slightly, still annoyed from his lack of warnings earlier. He must have caught it as there was a slight twitch in the corner of his mouth.

You sat between Mor and Gwyn, drinking wine and laughing as Mor told you about each of the members of the group and how they met. Nesta and Cassian spent most of the night dancing and Emerie had also found a dance partner or two. Although you did notice her stumble over her words when it came to speaking to Mor. You looked between the two of them and thought that they would look cute together but decided to keep that to yourself.

“I’m starved” Gwyn nudged you slightly. “Come with me to get some food?” you nodded once and excused yourselves before making your way around the room to the table filled with small bites to eat.

There were loads to choose from. Pigs in blankets, mini quiches, salads and tarts. Gwyn grabbed a plate and started piling the food on. “I know Nesta told us, but I didn’t have time to eat before this” she shrugged as she debated taking another slice of pie.

“No judgement from me” you helped yourself to a cocktail sausage and waited as Gwyn finished plating her food up. You looked out over the dancefloor in front of you. Emerie was on her second dance with a rather handsome looking fae, although her face looked rather board as he spun her around. Nesta and Cassian were smiling brightly at one another as they graced the dancefloor. Each of there spins, perfectly executed.

Rhysand and Fayre were also amongst the couples. They held each other closely as they gazed lovingly at one another. You couldn’t help but smile at how they looked at one another. Wishing that one day you may be able to find that for yourself. You continued looking at each of the dancing couples until your eyes landed on a couple that made your chest tighten.

Elain was spinning perfectly in time to the beat of the music. Her long, flowing lilac dress perfectly floating around with every movement. She was smiling brightly up at the male holding her closely, his scarred hand on her waist, his other interlocked with her hand.

Azriel was smiling down at the beautiful female he held closely. His dancing was as graceful and precise as his movements in the training rings. You couldn’t understand why your throat felt so constricted as you watched them dance with one another. Without even realising it, you had been staring at them for a while.

Together they looked like the most beautiful couple you had ever seen. No wonder he looked at her so longingly. No wonder she looked back at him the exact same way. “Care for a dance?” you hadn’t even noticed the male approach you, you managed to tear your eyes away from the dancing couple to face him.

His hand was held out ready for you to take. His red shoulder length hair fell to his green jacket. You looked to his face and saw a large scar that crossed over one of his eyes, which you soon realised was metal. The scar didn’t take away from the fact that the male was very handsome with soft features.

“Oh I’m sorry, I’m actually just grabbing some food” you lied. Your palms suddenly sweaty as you grabbed a plate. “Later, maybe” you nodded to him.

“I’ll look forward to it” he nodded his head politely and crossed to the other side of the room.

“You should have danced with him” Gwyn nudged you slightly.

“Maybe later” you shrugged. You didn’t dare admit that in fact, you had no clue how to dance. You had never stepped on a dancefloor in your life, and you weren’t about to embarrass yourself now. Especially in front of a handsome fae like him.

As the night went on you ended up being asked by three other males to dance. Each you politely declined, coming up with one excuse or another. Gwyn and Emerie couldn’t understand it and kept on scolding you for rejecting another handsome male.

“You will have to dance eventually” Emerie crossed her arms at you. “You have told them all you would dance with them later”.

“I didn’t say I would” you defended. “I said maybe” you returned her look. Nesta joined your small group at the side of the dancefloor.

“You said maybe to what?” Nesta arched an eyebrow.

“Y/N keeps rejecting every suitable male who attempts to dance with her” Gwyn rolled her eyes.

“Why?” Nesta tilted her head. There was no tiptoeing around the glare that bored into you.

“Fine” you sighed. “I can’t dance” you kept your voice down, hoping only the three around you could hear.

“Can’t or haven’t?” was all Nesta asked.

“Haven’t” you answered, lowering your eyes to the floor in embarrassment.

“Not a problem. Wait here” Nesta spun on her heels and marched across the room to Cassian. You carefully watched as you saw her whisper in the Illyrians ear. He nodded, seemingly agreeing with whatever Nesta was saying. The couple then proceeded to wait until the music had finished before making there way over to one of the couples that had just finished their dance.

You tried to peer round the crowed of people at who Nesta and Cassian had approached. What could they possibly be up to? A small gap appeared, and you looked through it catching sight of Nesta and Cassian now stood with Elain and Azriel. Cassian whispered in Azriel’s ear, pointing in your direction. Azriel followed his gesture and locked eyes with you.

Shit. You quickly set your gaze somewhere else, anywhere else. Trying to find something to do, you spun around to face the table of refreshments, grabbing a glass of wine and finishing it in one breath. Gwyn and Emerie were asking you questions but you could barely hear them over the sound of your own heartbeat. Had Nesta really told Cassian that she could dance? And in turn had he told Azriel?

“I can’t believe you have never danced before” Emerie said as Gwyn nodded her agreement. You focussed on the next glass of wine you had picked up, you can’t recall how much you had already had to drink but you needed the drink to numb the embarrassment.

A male voice cleating their throat came from behind you. Gwyn and Emerie stopped chatting and silently excused themselves. Slowly, you turned around to face Azriel. His hazel eyes met yours and you couldn’t tell if it was the wine or his presence that made your knees buckle slightly.

“Care to dance” his deep voice drowned out the music in your ears.

You swallowed hard “I can’t”. You lowered your eyes to your hand which were now fiddling with the fabric on your dress.

“Humour me” Azriel pressed.

“That’s exactly what I will do if I dance” your face flushed. He smirked slightly, taking a step closer to you.

“It’s just like training” you dared to look at him again. His eyes were soft. “You are just learning something new”.

“Yes, and I suck at that too” you rolled your eyes slightly.

“No. You don’t” Azriel held out his scared hand. “Trust me” his voice was a whisper.

“You keep telling me to do that” you narrowed your eyes slightly, ignoring the hand he offered to you.

“And how has that worked out for you?” he raised a brow questioningly. You paused for a moment, trying to think back to each time he had told you to trust him. It had always ended perfectly fine, and in all fairness to him, he hadn’t asked you to trust him before letting you fall a few feet earlier that evening. His eyes didn’t leave yours as he watched you think, his hand still outstretched for you to take.

You sighed deeply, glancing round the room to make sure no one was watching. He smiled sweetly as you placed your delicate hand in his. A tilt from his head was all you needed in order to follow him to a gap on the dancefloor. The music had stopped momentarily, allowing Azriel to pull you into position. You stood facing one another but your mind was elsewhere. Scanning the room, wishing you could just disappear out of site from the onlookers surrounding the floor.

“Look at me” Azriel deep voice softly whispered, you obeyed. “Put this hand on my shoulder here” he moved your hand into position “and this one stays holding mine” he gestured to your enclosed hands. “Stand closer to me” his deep voice sent a small shiver down your spine. You moved a miniscule step closer to him, closing the gap between your bodies slightly.

He smirked before resting his other hand on your waist and pulling you in, even closer. You stumbled forward slightly but he caught you. Your bodies were barley an inch away from each other’s. Where his hand lay on your side, sent heat rising to your cheeks. You regained your balance, finding your attention still focused on the people watching you. That was until shadows began to circle the two of you, not to complete darkness but more like a light fog.

“Now you can concentrate on me” he regained your attention. “No onlookers” his soft smile broke through the wall you had put up. The gesture put you slightly more at ease. You can trust him, you told yourself.

The music started playing again, a beautiful slow melody. “Listen to the music” Azriel instructed. “Do you hear the beat. One, two, three. One, two, three” you nodded as you kept in time to the beat. “Now, I’ll lead. Step in time to each beat, starting with your left foot forward”.

You did as he said. Moving your feet to the beat as Azriel kept counting. You stared down at your feet, watching each movement. A warm, gentle hand caressed your chin, pulling you to look upwards. “Keep looking at me” his hazel eyes were captivating as you kept dancing, now keeping time to the beat without his help. He removed his hand from you chin and placed it back on your waist.

“Sorry” you cringed as you stepped on his foot.

“It’s fine” he squeezed your hand in an encouraging gesture. “Try again”. Azriel rebalanced the both of you and you started again. By the end of the first song, you were beginning to get the hang of it. The second song started playing, luckily the tempo hadn’t changed and the two of you carried on dancing.

The world seemed to melt away as you looked into his hazel eyes. His hand at your waist kept you close to his body and his other wrapped around yours. You felt your chest lighten as he smiled down at you, looking at you like you had never been looked at before. You got lost in his eyes as you returned the smile, a slight blush in your cheeks as he began spinning you.

You managed to keep your footing as he would catch you, holding you tightly after each twirl. The music became part of you, so quickly the dancing became second nature. “Just like training” he whispered into your ear. You flushed at his hot breath against your ear.

You became so engulfed in the male that held you that you hadn’t realised he had dropped the shadows. The whole room was now able to watch as the two of you danced in perfect synchronisation. Your blue dress sparkled and floated gracefully as Azriel spun you again. A small laugh escaping both of your lips as he pulled you back in.

It was like being in a fairy tale as he led you around the dancefloor so effortlessly. You couldn’t supress the shy smile as he pulled you closer to him. The smile he returned made your breath hitch in your throat. The music came to a close yet again, but Azriel still held you in place. Readying for the next dance. His eyes not leaving yours until…

“Sorry, could I step in?” a small female voice spoke from beside you, whisking you suddenly away from your trance. You turned your attention to Elain. Everything that you had felt during the dance came crashing down instantly, as you looked upon her beautiful face. The face of the girl Azriel had been dancing with most of the night.

You shook yourself into reality. “Of course” you took a step backwards and out of Azriel’s strong arms, feeling a slightly unwilling release from your hand. You glanced at his unreadable face as Elain thanked you, taking his arm in her own. You only nodded your head in return, telling yourself you must have imagined that reluctant release.

As the music began playing, you hurried off the dancefloor. Not wanting to turn back and look at Azriel and Elain. Once again in each other’s arms. You could still feel the warmth of his hand in yours, could still see the smile on his face as he led you around the dancefloor. The thought made your chest tighten but you pushed it deep down.

You had almost made it to the refreshment stand when you came face to face with one of the males from earlier. “Do you think I could have that dance now?” his metal eye whirled slightly as he held out his hand to you. You paused for a second, about to reject him for the second time tonight when something inside you stopped yourself.

“Yes” you placed your hand in his and he led you to the dancefloor. Without meaning too, you looked towards Azriel and Elain. Briefly catching Azriel’s unreadable eyes as the male spun you to face him.

“My names Lucian by the way” he introduced himself. You began dancing, remembering what Azriel had taught you.

“Nice to meet you Lucian” you smiled up at his handsome face. “I’m Y/N”.

The two of you danced sweetly together. It wasn’t quite the same feeling as it had been with Azriel but it was pleasant. Lucian soon realised you weren’t the most skilled dancer, after stepping on his toes on multiple occasions.

“I’m so sorry” you cringed after standing on his foot yet again.

“Honestly, it’s fine” he reassured you. “Is it your first ball?”.

“Is it that obvious?” you laughed at his good manners.

“Not at all” he lied but there was comforting amusement behind his eyes. The two of you danced together for three songs. Making pleasant convocation before you retired to get refreshments. “It was nice meeting you Y/N, and thank you for the honour of dancing with me” he bowed his farewell to you.

“You too” you smirked. “I hope you can still feel your toes” he laughed then kissed the back of your hand before taking his leave.

As the night came to a close Nesta showed you and Emerie to your rooms. Due to there being a lot of alcohol consumed, she thought it best that no one flew or winnowed either of you home.

You got ready for bed whilst Emerie told you about all her different dance partners. She ranked them all and gave them a rating on how good their footwork was. You laughed as you sunk into the comfortable bed, adjacent to hers.

“What about you?” she asked. “How was your first ever dances?”

“They were good” you answered. “Although I do feel sorry for Lucian, I must have trodden on him a dozen times” Emerie laughed in response.

“What about Azriel?” the question hung in the air for a long moment. You tried not to think of the dance you shared with him and how it had briefly made you feel. Clearly all you felt was some childish crush towards him, you admitted.

“He’s a good teacher” you said with a soft sigh. “Good night” you said before Emerie could ask any further questions.

“Good night” she yawned, and the lights went out. You hugged the covers right up to your neck as you wished for sleep to take you before your mind started racing.

Chapter 6

#acotar #acotar fandom #acotar fanfiction #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel x you #batboys #cassian #nesta #the inner circle

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miss-shawdowsinger · 1 year

Text

Soothing Darkness - Azriel X reader fanfic

Chapter 4

Summery: The dreaded shopping trip has arrived. Y/N and the others pick out the right dresses to wear to to the ball and the start of the ball begins.

Warnings: none

AN: eeeekkk I love how this chapter ends. I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing. Please let me know your thoughts! ❤️

Chapter 1

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You sat in the warm water, letting it soak into your bones. Training had been intense that morning and you swore you had never sweated so much in your entire life. You seemed to catch the hint of amusement in Azriel’s eyes as you tried desperately to catch your breath after every exercise. You mentally scowled at him and carried on.

You had half an hour before 2pm. Half an hour before your shopping trip with Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn. You tried to get out of it when you saw them at training that morning.

“Did you get my note?” Gwyn had asked when you landed at the training rings.

“Yes, I don’t think I can make it” you made your best fake upset face. “I can’t close the shop and….”.

“Of course you can” Nesta cut you off. “I will compensate you for any losses made for shutting for the day” she offered you a devilish smile. You weren’t sure if Nesta could read minds but she certainly knew your game.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that” you had stated.

“You’re not asking. I’m telling” was all Nesta said. “We will be at yours for 2pm” she waved you off with her hand. That was the end of that.

You stared at the clock in the room. Twenty minutes until you had to go. The bath was beginning to turn cold so you heaved yourself out and began to get ready. It was the beginning of winter so you opted for a thick jumper and dark, skin tight trousers. You let your hair flow loosely down your back and grabbed a woollen hat and scarf to keep you warm.

You grabbed the small pile of money you had put to on top of your dresser last night. Telling yourself that this is going to be worth it as you placed it in your purse. Just as you began pulling your boots on, there was a knock at the door. The three females were huddled together on your doorstep as you opened the door. They all wore their coats with hats and scarves but the cold day had made their cheeks and noses rosey red.

“I told you she wouldn’t make another excuse not to come” Nesta said as she looked you up and down. Taking in your winter attire. You blushed slightly at the comment. Was it that obvious that you didn’t want to go?

“I made you guys these for the trip” you brushed off the comment and handed them each a small paper bag with a cinnamon swirl in.

“Oh they are still warm, thank you” Gwyn straight away tucked into hers. Humming with delight as she ate.

The four of you made your way through the town of Velaris. The city was full of life as people already began decorating their, shops, houses and even the streets with winter solstice decorations. Lights shone brightly over each building, making the rainbow come alive with even more colour. If that was even possible.

“In here” Nesta brought you all to a large shop in the city centre. It had a beautifully decorated shop window. With gowns and suites of all shapes and sizes. She entered the shop, setting off the small bell over the top of the door. You followed inside and gathered in the front room, basking in the heat of the shop.

Looking around you could see dresses made in what seemed like every colour for every occasion. A small desk situated at the back of the front room had a small fae female stood behind. She peered over the desk and spotted Nesta. She was only small, standing at just under 5ft.

“Hello Nesta” she purred. “I have a room ready in the back for you girls. You are just on time” the small female took the four of us through to a back room where a large mirror stood, white sofas were situated around it. There were smaller changing rooms attached to the large back room. You drank in the whole space.

“Who will be going first?” the small fae shopkeeper asked. “Whatever you need, you will find it here. Even with those wings” she nodded to Emerie who smiled from ear to ear.

Everyone took it in turns to find the right outfit for the ball. Nesta went first. Trying on at least a dozen different dresses. All of which looked absolutely stunning on her. The fae female was happy to comply as she pulled out more and more dresses that she deemed would suit their figures.

Nesta decided to go with a black floor-length dress with long sleeves and a very low v-neckline. It dropped almost to her navel. The dress shimmered against the bright lights in the room. Gwyn went next, only trying on two dresses and decided to go with the first. It was a light blue to match her usual priestess’s cloak. It was classy and elegant, hugging all her features without showing off too much skin.

Emerie tried on a handful of dresses and decided to go with the emerald green, lace cut dress. It fit round her wings perfectly with a slight slit up the dress to show off her long smooth legs. You had sat contently, watching as each of them tried on the array of dresses. Giving your opinions when asked and sipping on the coffee the fae had provided.

“Last but not least” the female turned to you with her unblinking gaze. You sunk deeper into the sofa, wishing it would swallow you whole.

“Go on Y/N” Nesta elbowed you hard in the ribs. You scowled at her, but she narrowed her eyes at you. Daring you to not do as you were told. You felt like a child in trouble, so you pushed yourself out of the sofa and followed the fae to the changing rooms.

She had brought an array of dresses through that she thought would complement your figure. Each more extravagant than the last. You picked through them and tried them on but none of them seemed to look good on you. The others had looked so stunning in each of their dresses, but you couldn’t help feeling like the ugly duckling.

One made you look lumpy. The others colour drowned you out and the bright yellow one, was not even worth mentioning.

“Don’t worry. I am determined to find you the right dress” the little female went on a hunt through the many rooms which seemed to store hundreds of dresses. You slumped back into your previous position on the sofa, feeling slightly deflated. Even if you found the right dress, you wouldn’t be able to afford it from somewhere like this. It was all pointless.

“The second one wasn’t too bad” Emerie placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. But the half hearted smile she gave you, told you otherwise.

“I found it” the small female shouted from another room. “Come through deary” you heaved yourself off the sofa once again and made your way into the changing room.

As soon as you were in the changing room she held the dress out for you to look at. Just like the others it looked beautiful, like something from a fairy tale book you had once read. It was cobalt blue and twinkled like starlight, over its smooth fabric. You stepped into the dress and the female helped you button the back.

Tentatively, you stepped out into the large room where the others were waiting for the eighteenth time today. Your shoulders were slumped as you made your way over to look at yourself in the large mirror. Gwyn and Emerie gasped as you walked out. It couldn’t possibly be that bad, could it?

You dared to look in the mirror and almost replicated their reaction. The dress hugged your figure perfectly. It had a love heart neckline, which accentuated your breasts and shaped them. It’s off the shoulder sleeves fell lightly on your upper arms, allowing for your chest and neck to be bare. It hung close to your upper body, framing your figure over your waist and hips. Falling loosely from your hips to the floor. It’s colour and the way it sparkled in the bright lights, brought out the colour in your eyes and complimented your complexion perfectly.

You gawked at the way this dress made you look. There wasn’t a time in your life where you had worn something that made you look beautiful. It was a change from your usual training clothes or flour covered apron. You stood taller, straightening your spine and raised your chin. It was like looking at a different person. You took in the full image, the newness of your toned body, thanks to the training.

“She will take it” Nesta walked around you with a smug smile on her face. Suddenly your heard stopped dead in your chest.

“Nesta, there is no way I can afford this dress” your voice barley above a whisper as you looked at the others in the room, hoping they hadn’t overheard you. Eyes pleading with Nesta no to make you buy it.

“You didn’t expect me to force you into shopping and then make you pay, did you?” the question hung in the air. You furrowed your brows in confusion which only made Nesta smirk. “The dress is on me and don’t even attempt to argue with me. You won’t win” she shrugged but her voice was laced with grit.

“Thank you” you smiled. Your heart melted slightly at the gesture and you glanced back at the mirror once again.

“You look stunning” Nesta said, looking at you through the mirror. You beamed from ear to ear, feeling tears sting your eyes but you swallowed them down.

You left the shop after Nesta had paid for all four dresses. The cold hitting you like an ice blast after the warm heated shop. You couldn’t thank Nesta enough for the dress as you walked through the busy city centre. There were still another couple of shops they informed you, that you would be visiting before returning home.

“You need shoes at least” Nesta crossed her arms over her chest as you exited the third jewellery shop. You had point blank refused to let her buy you anything else. Never mind the diamond necklace and matching earing set, which she tried to convince you would go perfectly with the dress.

“I have shoes” you rolled your eyes.

“Not ones that would go with that dress” she blew out a hot breath.

“You don’t know that” you shook your head.

“I –“ she paused, you could see her mind working to try find a comeback. “I don’t care, I’m buying you shoes” she pulled the three of you into a little shoe shop and picked out pairs for each of you. You knew she wouldn’t let you go home until she had at least bought you shoes to match the dress.

Once you had a beautiful pair of black stilettoes to go with your dress and the others had all they needed, you returned home. You plied each of them with a couple more pastries before they waved you farewell.

You hung the dress up and stared at it, placing the black shoes below it and imagining what you would look like once you were ready for the ball. The dread you had felt before was changed into excitement as you felt the fabric between your fingers. After you got your fill of staring at the beautiful gown you grabbed the money from your purse and stashed it back into your safe.

It turned out that you had really enjoyed the shopping trip. Not just because you came away with the outfit but because you hadn’t felt lonely. The day had been spent chatting, laughing and being in the company of people you might dare to call friends. How your life has changed in the last month.

The rest of the week seemed to go by painfully slow. You couldn’t remember the last time you were this excited for something and time seemed to drag as you approached the day of the ball.

Training took your mind off it for a while, you were only able to concentrate on your exercises. Each time your mind wondered slightly you found your ass back in the dirt. Gaining a stern glance from Azriel in return. Nesta invited you to have lunch with them each day after training. You spoke about how you were going to wear your hair or what preparations you would make for the day. Cassian would moan and take his dinner to eat elsewhere while we all ‘gossed’ as he called it.

The afternoons were painfully long. Especially when you have spent the best part of an hour sat talking with your friends. The shop was still quiet as usual, so you sat on your stool, reading whatever books Nesta or Emerie had loaned you. Occasionally helping a customer.

Each night you would sit in bed staring at the dress hung up at the other end of your room, you had only tried it on once more since you had brought it home. It took your breath away, just as it had done the first time. It was the night before the ball, you had decided that day how you were going to ware your hair. You pieced the image together and smiled at the thought before forcing your body and mind to rest.

It was 3pm and you sat in your shop counting down the minutes till closing. Nesta had told you to be ready to be picked up at 7pm. That gave you four hours to wait. Your usual customers had already been in for the day, so you sat tapping your fingers on the counter in front of you. Even your book didn’t distract you from the ticking clock on the wall.

You watched as the clock slowly ticked by until it reached half past. The street outside was quiet as you paced around the shop. Trying to find something to busy yourself with. You had already cleaned three times but you couldn’t sit still.

“That’s it” you tutted. There weren’t any signs of more customers coming so you decided shutting the shop an hour early wouldn’t harm anyone. You locked the front door and shut the blinds before making your way up the stairs to your apartment.

You set a hot bath running as you ate a small plate of food. Nesta informed you that there would be small bites to eat but to eat at the party but to eat a full meal beforehand. You finished the last of your food before submerging in the warm water. Steam rose from the small bathtub as you scrubbed yourself clean and washed your hair.

You didn’t sit and relax for long before you stepped out into the cold air and wrapped yourself in a towel. You combed through your now washed and silky hair and left it to dry as you applied small amounts of makeup to your face.

Once your hair had dried. You tied it in a half up half down hair style that Nesta had taught you. She said that it was the one that suited you the most with your neckline. It took you a couple of attempts to get it right but once you did, it sat neatly on top of your head as the rest of your hair fell in loose curls down your back.

It was 6:15 once you had finished with your hair. You poured yourself a glass of wine and sipped from the glass as you once again found yourself staring at the gown hung up in your room. You willed your body to calm down. A mix of emotions now leaving you tense. You were excited, finally able to show the dress off but nervous. There was going to be a lot of people at the party, and you only knew a handful of them. You took a large gulp of wine, seeking the liquid courage it may offer you.

At quarter to seven, you finally stepped into the gown. It fit like a glove as its soft fabric hugged your skin. You placed the black heels on before stepping in front of your small mirror. Taking deep breaths, you gazed at the image of you in the mirror and smiled. Actually smiled. You looked out of your window and up to the stars that graced the black sky above.

“I can feel you with me” you whispered to the stars. Hoping that your mother, wherever she was could hear you. You grabbed a small velvet box from your draws. Inside were a pair of your mother’s favourite silver earrings. You carefully placed one in each of your ears as a knock sounded loudly at the front door.

Cassian was never one for hanging about which made you chuckle slightly. You glanced one last time in the mirror, nodding your approval before heading downstairs and towards the front door. The winged silhouette dominated the small doorframe behind the frosted glass. You opened the door to find that Cassian wasn’t behind it.

His hazel eyes met yours as your breath hitched in your throat. He wore a black fitted suit that incorporated his membranous wings that were now held tensely behind him. His siphons still sat upon each hand and his shadows curled around his neck. It took you a second to drink him in, he was the picture of pure beauty.

“You look….” He let his eyes wonder over you. Heat rose throughout your body at the path his eyes travelled up and down you. His eyes roamed down to the dress that hugged your figure, lingering slightly at your bare neck before looking back into your eyes. His throat bobbed slightly before he said “stunning”. Azriel held eye contact with you as your stomach flipped and cheeks blushed.

“You too” you stumbled for words, and they came out in a timid squeak after realising you hadn’t said anything.

Idiot. You mentally scolded yourself.

His mouth twitched upwards as he pulled out a small box from the shadows curling around his hand. “I was instructed to give you this” he held it out for you to take. You carefully took the box and opened it.

“Nesta” you gasped. The box held the diamond necklace that you had forbidden Nesta from buying you at the beginning of the week. It shone like a thousand stars in the moonlight as you stared at it open mouthed.

“I was told, rather specifically, to say that you have to wear it tonight” you opened your mouth to speak but Azriel raised his hand to silence you. “No excuses” he smirked and you smiled back at him. Carefully, you took the necklace out of the box and held it up to inspect it closer. It had a very small clasp that you knew would take you a while to work.

“Do you mind?” you held out the necklace to Azriel. He hesitated before taking the necklace gently from your hand.

You turned around and swept your hair out of the way so he could access you neck easier. The cold night on your bare skin sent a small shiver down your spine. You felt Azriel approach your back, his body radiating heat onto yours as he was barley an inch away. You swallowed hard as he slowly placed the necklace around your neck. His warm, soft hands brushed against your skin as he fastened the clasp.

You swallowed hard as you felt the caress of his hot breath just below your ear. You told yourself you were imagining it but you felt his breathing stammer slightly as he worked the clasp at the back of your neck. He finished with the clasp, but his fingers lingered slightly causing your skin to heat up. Your heart was pounding hard as he seemed to wait for you to move away first, but your feet were locked in place. There was no doubt in your mind, that he couldn’t hear the roaring in your chest at the close proximity of his body to yours. The touch of his hand on your skin. Even his shadows seemed to circle around you, pulling you into their warm darkness.

Time seemed to slow down as the two of you remained in place, waiting for the other to make the next move. A males voice suddenly shook you back to reality. He had just stumbled out of a bar and was singing a merry tune as he wondered down the cobbled street. You cleared your throat, finding your legs now had movement in them as you took a step from Azriel. Turning on the spot and instantly missing his warmth.

“What do you think?” you gestured to the necklace that now laced your neck delicately. His face was unreadable when you finally braved to look at him. His shadows returned to him swiftly as he held your gaze. It took him a couple seconds to think before he said in his soft deep voice.

“Almost as beautiful as the wearer” he bowed his head to you. Your knees nearly buckled at the compliment. “Are you ready?” he asked, holding his had for you to take.

You nodded, taking his scared hand in yours. His shadows began to circle around you until there was nothing but darkness.

Chapter 5

130 notes · View notes

miss-shawdowsinger · 1 year

Text

Soothing Darkness - Azriel X reader fanfic

Chapter three

Summery: Training continues for Y/N which only gets more intense.

Warnings: swearing!

AN: Okay so this chapter is a bit of a filler but trust me it will pick up in the next one! A bit more cute Azriel moments in this one! I hope you enjoy, let me know what you think ❤️

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

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A knock at your front door had you waking up bolt upright. You don’t remember falling asleep at all but now the light shone through your open curtained window and you checked the clock in your room. 8:30am on the dot.

“Shit” you through the covers off you and jumped out of bed. Quickly, you pulled on your clothes and tied your hair back. The knocking continued and gradually got louder as you hurried to get ready. You were pulling on your boots when a figure suddenly appeared at your bedroom window. Screaming in shock, you fell backwards right on your ass.

“Ahh you are here” Cassian laughed at the sight of you struggling to get ready in a rush. “Sleep in?” his wings kept him in place in the sky outside your window, peering into your messy bedroom.

“I could have been naked” you yelled before shutting the curtains in his face. His laugh was loud enough that even as you headed downstairs you could still here it. Grabbing your jacket, you left the shop and locked the door behind you.

“You could have been naked, or you could have been hurt. How was I supposed to know?” he shrugged faking innocence as you made your way over to where he now stood.

“Either way you should have given it another minute before spying” you gave him a rude gesture.

“You are the one that’s late” he crossed his arms, defending his actions. “Come on sleepy head” he held out his hand and you took it begrudgingly.

Cassian was shocked but impressed to find that on this flight you didn’t shut your eyes as tight as you could and hide your face into his shoulder. Instead, you looked out towards the sun rising over the mountains and the colours it painted on the Sidra.

“Not so afraid today?” he drew your attention away from the city below.

“What? And miss the view?” you still clung tight to him as the house of wind drew closer. He chuckled slightly, not questioning the sudden change.

You were the last to arrive at the training rings and everyone were already warming up. “Where have you been?” Nesta raised her eyebrows as Cassian put you down. “9am sharp every morning is what you said” she narrowed her eyes at Cassian.

“Don’t blame me” Cassian held up his hand in defence. “I was on time but someone forgot to get out of bed this morning” he gestured to you as you cringed. A slight blush of embarrassment creeping into your cheeks as Nesta turned her attention to you.

“I’m sorry” you winced.

“So, she gets an apology and all I got was a….”Cassian mimicked the rude gesture you had given him earlier. Nesta couldn’t help but laugh at the gesture.

“It’s fine Y/N. I was more hoping it was him who was late, he gave me such stick for being two minutes late a couple months ago and thought I could get my own back” she patted you on the back before turning her attention back to Cassian. You took that as your que to leave and headed over to your group.

The three priestesses were already going through their warm-ups with Azriel close by. You made your way over and finally noticed the strain of your muscles, remanence of the training the day before. You had a slight limp as the muscles in your legs had seized up so much that bending your knees seemed impossible. The startled wakeup call hadn’t give you chance to notice just how stiff you were. Azriel spotted you as you approached the group, his eyes met yours but his face showed no sign of emotion again.

“Sorry I’m late” you mumbled your appologise as you joined the group. Azriel just nodded for you to join in without a word. Your heart clenched slightly but you quickly started the usual warm up routine, stretching off all your sore muscles and raising your heartbeat. If you were trying to prove you wanted to catch up with the others, sleeping in wasn’t the best way to start.

“Lets go over the basics” Azriel instructed the group after we were warmed up. The priestesses started off the stances and movements and you followed along. Each stance you did you remembered what Azriel had told you the day before.

Elbows up. Heels down. Thumb placement. You needed to prove that you did listen and did want to improve. Now more than ever.

Each movement you performed you remembered how he told you to breath and clear your mind. Although, your muscles ached they held in place. You managed to hold each movement, only wobbling a couple of times but correcting it quickly. Everything was clicking into place. You could have sworn you saw a slight tug on the corner of Azriel’s mouth as you locked eyes with him during one of the harder balancing exercises.

An hour had gone by and you hadn’t fallen over once. Determination to prove yourself was forcing you to keep going and improve. Your heart was pounding and your brow was sweating but your body was strong. The priestesses seemed to notice the change in you. They smiled towards you as you performed each movement as they did.

“Good” Azriel said to the group as you took a quick breather. His Hazel eyes met yours briefly and you beamed shyly at the small accomplishment. “We are going to move on to core strength today”.

You soon realised you had little to no core strength. Azriel had you all doing sit ups, planks and v-ups on repeat for the last hour of the session. You felt like you could collapse as your stomach clenched with each repetition. If you thought you were sweating before, this was a whole different level. The longest you could hold a plank was only 13 seconds and each rep after that seemed to get worse.

At least you weren’t alone this time. The priestesses seemed to all be equally as unfit as you. The cramping was almost unbearable as you began your cool down. Azriel left quickly afterwards with no word. He hadn’t spoken to you throughout the whole session, and you couldn’t understand the sinking feeling in your stomach because of it.

Just because he helped you yesterday doesn’t mean that you would have any special treatment. He would have done it for anyone who was in need of the extra practise.

The rest of the week carried on the same way. Training was now increasingly more intense as you moved onto muscle and core strengthening exercises, the shop had the odd customers through the afternoon, and you would fall asleep very quickly each night. You didn’t make the same mistake of sleeping in again though.

Azriel didn’t speak to you at all during the week. Instead, he went back to instructing the group as a whole. You pushed that out of your mind, concentrating on the new exercises he would demonstrate before attempting yourself and failing miserably. He made everything look so easy, not breaking a sweat as he effortlessly demonstrated what he expected from us. It was an effort not to stare as his muscles flexed under his shirt with each movement. He completed each movement so perfectly and gracefully that even the priestesses watched from the other groups across the ring.

Your day off arrived quickly and you found yourself asking to stay again to practise. Nesta had told you that you are more than welcome and to stop asking for permission, but you still thought it polite.

“Can I have your green beans if you’re not having them?” Gwyn gestured to Emerie’s finished plate as we sat having lunch before your extra practise.

“Take them” Emerie scraped the beans onto Gwyn’s plate. There was only the three of you and Nesta at lunch as Cassian had some important business again.

“Y/N, have you heard about the ball?” Gwyn asked between mouthfuls.

“What ball?” you asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Cassian and I are hosting a ball here in three weeks’ time. I say a ball it’s more like a little party with a few people from Velaris coming to celebrate just before winter solstice” Nesta swallowed her mouthful. “It would be great if you could come. I was going to ask you with a formal invitation but thanks to Gwyn….” She trailed off.

“I’ll have to think about it” you smiled. “I’d have to find something to wear if I did but thank you for the invitation” you knew you had absolutely nothing in your wardrobe that would be nice enough for a party at the house of wind. You definitely couldn’t afford anything new either.

“Oh, the invitation is just being nice” Emerie giggled. “You are coming. No excuses” she pointed her fork at you in a fake threat. The girls all nodded in agreement.

“If you don’t have anything to wear, I can lend you something or we can go on a shopping trip. All four of us” Nesta offered. The other girls smiled widely at the thought “I know a great shop in town that would have something perfect for you”.

“Will the other priestesses be there?” you tried to change subject before you were dragged into a shopping trip that you couldn’t afford.

“They have been invited but the likelihood of them leaving the library is slim” Gwyn shrugged. “Speaking of, I best get going” she stood from her place. You also stood to leave and said your goodbyes to the girls as you went back up to the training rings.

The rings were empty and quiet yet again as you began your stretches. You kept an eye on the door to the house just in case but after half an hour you gave up.

He’s not coming. Concentrate.

You threw yourself into the training, pushing yourself to do one more repetition of each movement before you relaxed. You had just finished a set of sit ups and collapsed, laying on the ground looking up into the sky. The cold Autumn breeze cooling the sweat from your brow. There were no clouds in the sky as you took deep soothing breaths.

You pushed yourself to sit up and look out over the view of the city down below. Gwyn, had spoken of a technique called mind stilling. A technique that the Valkyries used to calm their mind, even during battle. She had told you the steps and you had memorised them. Looking out over the city, you thought there was no better time then to try it now for the first time. You closed your eyes and took in a deep breath.

Each step was clear in your mind as you ran through them. It was a lot harder than it sounded, closing your mind to everything surrounding you. Your mind kept on wondering as you tried for what felt like a lifetime.

Clear your mind.

What would I wear to the ball?

Stop. Clear your mind.

Maybe if I used vanilla it would make the buns tase nicer.

“Useless” you grunted as you opened your eyes. You would sooner fall asleep then succeed at mind stilling. With a frustrated huff you stood from your seat and turned to begin training on your body again.

“Not easy is it” Azriel smirked as you came face to face with him. You jumped and swore at the male a couple feet in front of you.

“Do you make it a habit of sneaking up on people?” you held a hand over your heart, trying to steady it from the shock.

“That is my job” he scratched his head as he entered the training ring, shadows curling round his neck and hands. “Here again?” he came to stand before you.

“Today is my day off, I thought it was better spending my time being productive” you shrugged.

“How’s that working out for you?” his lips twitched as he looked you up and down.

“Fine” you lied.

“Looks it” he laughed as you let out a frustrated huff. You had been working for over an hour on mind stilling and now your mind was as tired as the rest of your body.

“I’m finished anyway, I’ll get out of your way” you strode by him, not daring to look at him but his hand reached out and caught your wrist before you could walk away. You instantly stopped and turned to look at his scarred hand caressing your small wrist. His hands were soft against your bare skin which sent a warm sensation up your entire arm. You looked up to find Azriel’s soft eyes on his own hand before turning his gaze to you. You could almost see his shoulders relax as you didn’t pull away from him, you didn’t shy from the touch of his scared hands on you.

He instantly let go of you. “I’m sorry” he cleared his throat. “I’m not chasing you out, if you want to stay please do”.

“I didn’t think you were. I’m just tired and frustrated” you half smiled. “But thank you” you carried on walking to the water station. You poured yourself a glass of water, drinking it in one breath.

“How are you getting back?” Azriel called after you, coming to your side yet again as you poured another glass.

“Ten thousand steps doesn’t seem too bad” you raised an eyebrow.

“Trust me, it is” he cringed slightly and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Cassian offered to take me once he got back” Azriel nodded with a hummed response. His shadows curled around him yet again. “Can I ask you a question?” you stared at the shadows surrounding the Illyrian. They floated silently over his wings and across his chest.

“Of course” his jaw tightened slightly waiting.

“They call you the Shadowsinger” you paused gaging his response before continuing. He raised an eyebrow but didn’t show any offence, so you asked “What does that mean?”.

“No one other than Rhys and Cassian have ever asked me that before” his face was unreadable as his eyes connected with yours. “and if I tell you, I’d have to kill you” his face remained stern. Your heart began beating faster as your breath hitched and you took a small step away from him. His lip quivered slightly before he laughed.

You stared at him unblinking for a second before realisation hit you. He was messing with you. “That’s not funny” you scolded at the male but his laugh was contagious and you soon joined in.

“I’m sorry” he controlled his laughter. “There isn’t a lot I can tell you but there is something I can show you” he came closer to you. “But you’ll have to trust me” he held out his hand. You looked at his outstretched hand and then at the male in front of you. His black hair sat lazily over his forehead, his hazel eyes soft as they stared into yours, waiting for your response.

The first time Azriel had asked you to trust him, it had taken your breath away. Opening your eyes to the world below for the first time. He had a small smile as you placed your hand softly in his. He effortlessly picked you up and flew up into the air.

Once you were about one hundred feet above the house his voice broke through the wind. “Whatever you do, don’t let go of me” he scanned your face as you nodded in response. Darkness encircled the both of you. Not darkness like night but darkness like shadows. They engulfed you whole, but you stayed holding on to Azriel. His hands still held you in place against his body.

The darkness wasn’t cold as you imagined it to be. It was like a warm caress, comforting as it blanketed the two of you. It kept surrounding you until no daylight broke through at all, just dark. The only presence was Azriel. You could no longer see him but you could still feel his arms around you. It didn’t scare you, you didn’t tense or shy away. This was Azriel and he asked you to trust him.

You were nothing but shadows for a split second and then the light pierced through the black. The shadows coiled back into nothing, seeming to fold back into Azriel. Your eyes adjusted to the light and you were still in Azriel’s arms. But Azriel was stood on a cobbled street. You quickly looked around to find you were outside the bakery.

“You can winnow?” you asked, gawking at how you had been in one place and then the next second you were somewhere else.

“Not exactly” He placed you down softly. “I can move through shadows” you released your grip around his neck.

“It’s a lot quicker then flying. Why didn’t you just do that last week?” you tutted as you rummaged for your keys.

“I wanted to help you overcome your fear of flying” he crossed his arms over his chest. You rolled your eyes at him but thanked him anyway. “I hear it worked” you quickly looked at his half smug smile.

“It may have done” you narrowed your eyes at him. “So, you and Cassian have been talking about me behind my back now?” you questioned. Instantly your mind flooded with everything they could have been talking about. How useless you had been so far.

“We talk about everyone we teach” he tilted his head seemingly reading your thoughts. “How everyone is progressing” he clarified. It did little for your mind, but you shook it off.

“Great” you sighed finally freeing your keys from your trouser pockets.

“You are progressing more than you think, Y/N” Azriel’s deep voice reverberated through you. That was the first time he had called you by your name. It sent your body tingling. You were beginning to think he may have forgotten it, but it sounded so sweet on his lips.

“I’ll see you tomorrow” was all you managed to say as you unlocked the door and stepped inside “Thank you for brining me back again” you smiled at him. He looked as if he was about to say something as his mouth opened. But he seemed to change his mind and instead bowed his head as you closed the door behind you.

Idiot. I’ll see you tomorrow. Is that all you could say?

The next two weeks went by exactly the same as the previous two. Each day at training Cassian would pick you up at 8:30am on the dot. Training was progressively getting harder but you began to notice small changes in your body. Muscles began to grow where you’d never had it before. Your legs and arms were stronger and you found your body didn’t ache as badly between sessions.

Azriel only addressed the group as a whole. He never spoke to you individually. You tried to ignore it, tried to understand that there must be a reason behind it. So, you didn’t question it and decided to ignore him too. Other than the instructions you followed, you pretended he wasn’t even there.

By the time it got to your days off, Azriel already waited in the training ring in the afternoons. He helped you run through everything that you had struggled with that week. The two of you making small talk before he took you back home.

You were grateful for the extra help that he offered you. Allowing you to understand your body and even your mind on a better level. You also began to enjoy his company rather then be intimidated by it, and you think he felt the same. During normal sessions his face was unreadable, a mask of no emotions. Only his shadows circling round him, keeping him hidden. But when it was just the two of you he smiled, answered questions and asked them in return. It made your heart warm each time you were able to make him laugh.

Surprisingly he had a wicked sense of humour. He managed to have you scowling or unable to breath through fits of giggles. It was quick how easily it became for you to be in his company. He dropped you off at the end of another day full of training. Each time he dropped you off you would offer him food or a drink but her would always have somewhere else to be. You didn’t let it bother you as you had already spent the majority of the day with him. He didn’t ‘winnow’ you back again though. He would fly over the city and you would soak up the landscape, each time finding something new to look at.

He bowed his head and took his leave as you entered the shop. As you closed the door you noticed a small envelope. You picked it up and opened it carefully.

'Dear Y/N,

Nesta and I were speaking about our shopping trip for the ball at the end of this week. We plan to go tomorrow.

We will pick you up at 2pm after training so don’t make plans.

Gwyn.'

You stared at the note and sighed as you had hoped that they had forgotten about the shopping trip. You hadn’t even fully accepted the invitation to the ball itself. Not that you had much choice in the matter. But how could you afford it? You went to the small safe you had in your apartment and looked at your spare funds. It was a meek pile of money but you took a deep breath and took a small amount from your savings.

It’ll be fun. You told yourself, justifying the cost. You had never been to a ball or a party. At least there will be people you know there. People you could now call your friends. If worse comes to worse, you can always leave early – you told yourself. One thing was for certain. You hoped there wasn’t any dancing, you had never been taught how to dance and it was a one-way ticket to embarrassing yourself.

Chapter 4

#acotar #acotar fandom #acotar fanfiction #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel x you #cassian #batboys

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miss-shawdowsinger · 1 year

Text

Soothing Darkness - Azriel X reader fanfic

Chapter two:

Chapter 1

Summery: Y/N is finding out just how difficult training is in her first week. But some guidance helps her realise she shouldn't give up just yet.

Warnings: None.

AN: I hope you enjoy this second chapter. Where Az and Y/N actually interact with one another. Like I said, it's gonna be a slow burn but totally worth it ❤️

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Over the next four days your body felt like lead. Every muscle, even the ones you didn’t realise you had ached. Each morning was just as hard as the next, getting out of bed had your body protesting with all it’s might. However, you still made yourself get up, no matter how much it hurt. You made yourself ready for your 8:30am flight to the house of wind and for the two hours of training, you made your body cooperate somehow.

Each morning you trained with the same three priestesses as Azriel’s close eye watched over at you. You began to work not only on the stretches and balancing movements but also breathing. By the third day, you had started to relax into training. No one laughed when you would fall or couldn’t hold a movement. Instead, they smiled and encouraged you to try again. So, you would. You got back up each time, sweat dripping from your brow and muscles aching and tried again. But for the first time in a long time your mind was quiet. The only thing you thought of was how your body moved, how each breath controlled the movement and how terribly unfit you were.

Azriel would watch you all, giving instructions as he spiralled round you. Asking you to change stance or control your breathing, where to place your feet and where is the best place to put your weight. You followed each instruction as well as you could. However, each time you caught the Illyrians eye you faltered. No matter how many times you tried to compose yourself, his stunning hazel eyes on you had your knees buckling.

Deep breaths. You would tell yourself when you felt your palms getting sweaty or your legs began to turn to jelly. He never spoke directly to you, only to the group as a collective and you preferred it that way. If this was how you reacted in his presence alone, you couldn’t imagine what you would be like in a one-to-one convocation with him.

“Elbows up” his deep voice would instruct you as you changed your stance. “Weight in your heels and breath out into it” you followed his instructions as much as you could, but you still felt your body giving way under the strain, unable to hold it for as long as the rest of your group. You had a lot of catching up to do.

At the end of each session, you would talk amongst the priestesses, Emerie, Nesta and Cassian whilst having a much-deserved drink of water. Azriel never stuck around, he left almost as soon as the session finished, without so much as a sideways glance. Cassian would say he was off doing something or other for Rhysand and left it at that. It was nice to get to know the other women. Some were very quiet, like the ones in my training group. However, some were talkative and told me stories from their past and how they ended up here. It seemed that they had all been through a lot and the training was slowly healing them. Some still hadn’t braved leaving the library that you were told was under the house of wind.

Listening to some of their stories and what they went through made you realise that you were doing the right thing. No matter how much your body currently disagreed. You wanted to feel whole again. Not thinking about the past every waking moment with only books to ease your mind. Even the flying with Cassian to and from your shop wasn’t as terrifying. Although, you still hadn’t braved opening your eyes during the flights yet. Cassian would just laugh and tell you that you would get used to it…..eventually.

Your afternoons were just as quiet as usual. The bakery didn’t get many customers so you found that you would carry on practising some of the easier movements from the morning’s session. The shop was only very small and unforgiving. You realised this whilst trying to practise. You knocked a full tray of pastries onto the floor, spinning to try and catch them you sent another tray crashing down. Groaning, you picked up the pastries and cleaned the floor. The space wasn’t big enough for you to practise, and you really needed the practise. You were the worst out of the whole group by far. Even in your little group, the priestesses were now progressing, and you were still falling over on the easier movements.

The next morning arrived quickly. You had been sleeping very well as your body pleaded with you to rest. So good that each day you barely managed to get ready for bed before your eyelids became heavy and reality slipped from you. Cassian arrived precisely on time every single morning. 8:30am on the dot.

“Good morning sleepy head” Cassian smirked as you locked up the bakery. The small bags under your eyes were very clearly visible.

“Today is usually my day off” you grunted at the amused Illyrian. “Do you even know what that is?” your half-hearted attempt at a come-back.

“Of course. Winter solstice is my day off” he picked you up in one swift movement and launched into the sky.

“You only have one day off a year?” you yelled over the howling wind. Eyes clenched closed as he flew you to the training rings.

“I might get the odd day but when I do, I still train” he seemed to dig at me. You hummed in response.

You were happy for the distraction of training. Your days off usually were filled with sleeping in, cleaning and reading. It was quite lonely once you really thought about it. But seen as training was every day, you didn’t have time to feel so lonely on your days off anymore and you welcomed that thought.

Training carried on through the morning exactly as it had been for the previous four days. Your little group circled together at the edge of the training ring and began your stretches. Azriel instructed the three priestesses on other stretches whilst you still worked on the basics. Each stretch seemed to get worse rather then better. You became more and more frustrated as the session went on, falling on your ass more times than you wanted to admit. All you wanted was to progress with the other three, but your body wasn’t cooperating.

Instead, each time you did a move your body cried out. Your muscled became unbearably heavy and you would collapse in a pile on the floor again. The morse you failed the more annoyed you started to become. But you kept getting back up, brushing yourself off and trying again.

The end of the session came around quickly and you gathered to get some water. You couldn’t even fake a smile as you sipped on your drink whilst the others chattered around you.

“Ready to go back?” Cassian peered over you, you gave him a defeated nod as you pushed off the wall you were leaning against. “You just need to keep practising, I promise you will get the hang of it. One day it will just click” he assured you with soft eyes and pat on the shoulder.

“I think I’m getting worse, if that’s even possible” you hid your face behind your hands to hide your shame.

“It’s just because your body is having to learn to move differently. That’s why it is sore. Once your body strengthens, it will become easier”.

You peeled your hands from your face. “I want to catch up. To keep practising but my shop is too small” you sighed.

“Train here if you like” Nesta appeared beside Cassian. “You are more then welcome. I know how you feel. When I first started, I was useless” she smiled softly before hitting Cassian’s arm playfully for agreeing.

“Do you mind? Today is my day off so if I could stay for a while….” You trailed off.

“Of course, maybe training by yourself will help calm your mind even more, focus on the movement” Nesta handed you another glass of water which you took gladly.

“But” Cassian cut in. “You need to eat before you carry on or you will faint” he gestured to follow them into the house.

“I don’t want to overstay my welcome” you resorted.

“Nonsense” was all Nesta said before she ushered you into the house.

You ate a bowl of chicken soup that the house magically dropped at your place at the table. Cassian and Nesta sat opposite you whilst Gwyn and Emerie sat to your left. They all welcomed you with open arms. Asking questions about your bakery and all the new recipes you had been working on.

“Those cinnamon swirls were delicious” Nesta boasted. “We will have to stop by and get some more soon”.

“You are welcome anytime” you blushed slightly. “I’ll have to bring enough for an after-training treat”.

All of them nodded excitedly at the thought of them. Convocation flowed easily between the five of you and before you knew it you had been sat talking for over an hour.

“I better get back” Gwyn was the first to stand. “Merrill will no doubt be wondering where I am”. The rest of the others followed suit. Having to be in one place or another. You got up to go back to the training ring when Cassian politely caught your attention.

“Y/N, I need to go run a few errands. I’ll be back around 6pm. Feel free to go to the library if you have had enough of training and I will take you home when I get back” he smiled as you thanked him. He began to walk out before adding “or you could brave the ten thousand stairs home. Up to you” he chuckled at the scowl you threw him.

The training ring seemed so empty and quiet compared to a couple of hours ago. You situated yourself in the centre of the ring and began working through the stretches.

Breath in. Breath out.

Without anyone else there to distract you or watch as you stumbled and picked yourself back up again, you found that you managed to hold the stretches for slightly longer than this morning. You progressed to work on the balancing exercises.

Breath in. Hold. Breath out.

Your body strained and your knees threatened to buckle but you held strong. Until you didn’t, you hit the ground with force. You felt the anger and frustration creeping up along your skin.

Breath. Breath. Breath. Try again.

Standing up you repeated the same exercise. Balancing on one leg whilst the other was outstretched behind you and bending your upper body at the hip. You had been working on this stance every day.

Breath.

You held it and moved onto the next, more of a fighting stance. Both feet placed on the floor, one slightly more behind so you stood sideways. Hands up and…..

“What are you still doing here?” a deep voice sounded from behind you. You spun around so quickly, you swear you almost gave yourself whiplash. Azriel stood at the edge of the training ring, wearing his Illyrian leathers. His arms were crossed over his chest as he stared at you, face a mask of no emotion as he waited for your answer. Your heart began beating quickly, not just from the surprise of someone sneaking up on you but from his hazel eyes piercing into yours.

“Practising” was all you could manage to force out as your throat tightened, realising this was the first time you have actually been spoken to directly from him. His eyes looked you up and down before he heaved a deep sigh. You half expected him to walk away or kick you out but instead he entered the training ring and made his way towards you.

“Do the stance again” he instructed as he came to a halt a mere meter away from you. It took you a second to register what he had asked of you. Your whole body was tense as he waited for you to move. You shook yourself back to reality and did as he asked. Standing side-on raising your arms with a clenched fist and taking a deep breath. “Raise your elbows” you did as he instructed. “Higher”.

You forced yourself to concentrate on what was being asked of you. What your body was doing but your mind kept wondering to the male. His eyes on your body as he walked around you. “Like this?” you asked raising your elbows higher, voice barley above a whisper.

“May I?” he stood right beside you, his hazel eyes on yours asking if he was able to move you into the correct position. You swallowed before nodding once. His hand was featherlight as he raised both your elbows to the correct position. “There. If they are any lower your arms become weak and useless” he mimicked the difference elbow position can make using his own arms.

Breath in. Hold. Breath out.

“You will break your fist if you throw a punch like that” he stood in front of you now. His body towered over your small frame. You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks as you had to crane your neck to look at his face.

“How do I avoid that?” you asked quietly, and you swore you saw the corner of his mouth twitch upwards slightly. He began to reach for your hand before stopping in his tracks, looking at you like he was asking permission again. You nodded. His hand gently reached out and moved your fingers and thumb. You only then noticed the scars upon both his hands, your eyes briefly scanned them before ignoring them, like he had with yours. His hands were warm as they strategically placed your thumb and fingers into position.

“There. Keep your thumb there or you’ll break it. Wrists flat and strong” he released your hand and took a step away. “Good, next stance” he instructed.

We went through each stance that you had been working on. Azriel positioned you and gave you tips while you asked tentative questions. As we worked through each stance, you relaxed more, focusing on the training rather then him. Each movement seemed easier with his direct instructions. Frustration wasn’t building up as things seemed to click into place and your body obeyed your asks. You went over each stance a couple of times, Azriel making sure you paid attention as we came back to previous movements.

“Balance exercises. You put too much of your weight into your toes” he gestured “Your weight needs to be in your heel or you’ll keep falling over”. Your cheeks burnt red with embarrassment as you recalled all the falls you had in front of him over the last week. “Show me the first position”.

You did as he said. Holding your leg out behind you. Breathing in and out slowly and holding the position. He walked around you as you stayed in place, you wobbled slightly but stayed strong.

“Lift your leg a bit higher” and you slowly did as he asked. Lifting your leg higher behind you and bending your upper body to be parallel to the ground. You tried to push yourself a bit further but….”Weight in your heel” was all you heard before you lost your balance completely and the ground rushed up to meet you.

Luckily your hands hit the ground before your face did, taking the full impact of your fall. You grunted as you slowly turned over and sat upright. Azriel crouched beside you, but you couldn’t meet his eyes as you felt the embarrassment of falling over, yet again, in front of him. “I’m not very good at this” you sighed as you brushed off the dirt from your grazed palms.

“You are getting better” Azriel held out his hand for you and helped you back up. “You’ve only been here a couple of days, give yourself some credit” he smiled softly. He actually smiled at you, your stomach flipped as you released his hand.

“The others are mile ahead of me” you brushed down your clothes as you got into position again.

“Does it matter? You are all here to learn” he inspected you yet again as you lifted your leg behind you.

“It matters to me” you took a deep breath. Willing your mind and body to relax.

“I understand. Weight in your heel” he reminded as you wobbled again.

“How can you? Don’t Illyrians learn all this when they learn to walk” you willed yourself to hold the position for just a couple more seconds before you lowered your leg and rebalanced yourself.

“Not all Illyrians” you met his gaze, there was pain behind those eyes. “I was miles behind Cassian and Rhys but I trained everyday until a caught up and then I kept going”. You didn’t push him further, some things a better left unasked unless that person wants to share. Plus, this was the most you had heard him speak when he wasn’t instructing, and you didn’t want to overstep.

“That’s why stayed behind today” you nodded. “To catch up”.

“I think you are done for today. You’ve done well” he gestured for you to follow him to the water station and get a drink. You both drunk in content silence until you finished your glass. “What is your plan now?” he asked.

You glanced at the clock which read just after 4pm. “I guess I will go to the library for a while until Cassian gets back to fly me home” you had to lean against the wall to stop your legs from giving way. The lack of movement already making them stiffen.

“I can take you back if you’d like?” he offered softly. “Saves you having to wait – unless you wanted to go to the library for something?” he raised a brow at you.

“No, I was just going to pass the time but if you’re not busy…..” you stuttered. “I would appreciate it if you could take me”.

“I’m not busy” he held out his hand for you to take. You nervously took his hand, praying to the mother he wouldn’t notice how sweaty your palms were. His hands were soft despite the callouses and scars as he brought you closer to him. He lifted you gently into bridal style. You could feel the hard muscles of his body through his leathers as you wrapped your arms around his neck. His warmth cocooned around you before he looked into your eyes. “Are you ready?” he asked your approval before launching into the skies.

“Yes, I think so” you nodded. Clinging closer to him as his wings stretched to their full length. You gazed over them in awe as they spread wide, ready to take off.

“Hold on tight” was his last words before his strong wings flew us up into the skies above the house. You closed your eyes tight as you had done each time Cassian had flown you to and from the house. Wind caught in your hair as you felt Azriel’s wings beating behind you. “You’re missing the view” his voice was a hot breath on your ear.

“I can’t” was the only words you could muster. You felt his chest rumble with a chuckle as you held on tighter to him.

“Yes, you can. Trust me” his deep voice soothed. It took every ounce of strength that you had to slowly peel your eyelids open. It took your eyes all of a couple of seconds to adjust to the light before you could see the city of Velaris below. You held your breath as you slowly peered down, braving to take a look at how high you were. “I won’t let you fall, I promise” Azriel reassured you as he could no doubt feel your body shaking.

You stared at him for a second. Into his hazel eyes that told you that you could trust him. There was no malice there only a soft, comforting look. He broke the eye contact, tilting his head in a gesture for you to look around.

Breath in. Hold. Breath out.

You gasped as you took in the view that surrounded you. You could see the whole city from here, the colours of the buildings on the Rainbow, the running river of the Sidra. The view from the house of wind was nothing in comparison to this. The mountains that surrounded the city stood tall as the sun began to fall on this Autumn day.

“It’s beautiful” you breathed it all in as you finally relaxed in Azriel’s arms. His body keeping you warm from the cold wind that hit your face. “You get to see views like this everyday?” you couldn’t take your eyes away from the city. It warmed your chest to see the beautiful place that you lived in.

“I guess when you have flown as long as I have, you take it for granted” he paused. “That is until I get to show someone it for the first time and realise how lucky I am to see such sights”. You looked at him then. The faint smile on his lips as he held you close, his wings and strong arms never faltering whilst carrying you. “Plus, I have no clue where you live. You had to open your eyes, or I could have dropped you off on the wrong side of town”.

“I preferred the first thing you said” you laughed and he returned the small chuckle before you told him exactly where you lived. It wasn’t long before Azriel touched the ground right outside your bakery. He gently set you down and you immediately missed the warmth of him as you stepped up to the front door.

“Thank you for today” you smiled before unlocking the door, he bowed his head in response. “Do you want anything to eat or drink before you go?” you offered quickly before he left.

“I’m alright but thank you” he politely declined. “I have a couple things I should be getting to, but I will see you in the morning”.

“Alright, I will see you tomorrow” you smiled trying not to show any signs of slight disappointment. He gave you a last farewell smile and shot back into the skies. You watched as he flew further away until you could no longer make out more then a black dot against the blue sky.

You leaned your back against the front door of your shop once you closed it behind you. Taking a minute to go over all the events of the day. Your body was aching, and the bath upstairs was basically yelling your name.

The next hour was spent soaking your aching body in the soapy water. Remembering each instruction Azriel had given you.

How his hand felt in yours.

No. How to keep your balance and how to breath in each stance.

How his voice made you shiver when he said you could trust him.

No. You pushed your wondering thoughts deep, deep down. What the hell was wrong with you? Yes, he was probably the most beautiful male you had ever seen but you were better at keeping your cool than this. Focus on the training, that is what you need to focus on…….and you did.

Chapter 3

#azriel x reader #acotar fandom #acotar fanfiction #acotar #azriel x you #azriel #cassian #batboys

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