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#i can’t deal with the outside world rn but i have to
honeyedmiller · 7 months
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my anxiety is so bad today. hating it here rn
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nolita-fairytale · 10 months
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burn your life down | chef luca x fem!reader | chapter eight
summary: you and luca pick up where you left off a week ago.
warnings: fluff, smut (18+ only), literally just p*rn FOR the plot. big note on consent: there is protected (then sort of) unprotected sex in this chapter. the biggest point i'd like to make here is that both characters consent to both kinds and have a very open and honest conversation about it which, if you take away anything from this chapter, it's PLEASE HAVE HONEST CONVERSATIONS WITH THE PEOPLE YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH FOR EVERYONE'S SAFETY. ok rant over.
word count: 4.9k
listen to: the official 'burn your life down' playlist
a/n: another busy week ahead of me so I wanted to get this out here ASAP, but most likely won't be able to get the following chapter out for a bit. obviously, we don't know what happens w/ marcus' mom, but in this world, she doesn't die opening night of The Bear.
on another note: you guys are seriously the best and leave the sweetest and most excited comments/reblogs. i seriously love it when you guys scream at me in gifs/memes/all caps. let me know if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist.
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part seven | masterlist | part nine
“Yeah uh, everything’s been goin’ good. I think Carm’s still trying to deal with everything that happened since opening – I don’t know if you heard but – but… it’s been good,” Marcus says over his FaceTime call with his mentor. 
“No, I hadn’t. Eh, haven’t talked to him much since before you visited,” Luca answers, hesitant to ask about what happened during that first night. 
“Got locked in the fridge and kinda lost it but… he’s doin’ okay,” Marcus explains, summing up the events of The Bear’s friends and family night. 
“How are you doing? How’s your mum?” Luca asks, changing the subject from Carmen to his mentee. 
He’s had more contact with Marcus – knows more of what’s going on in Marcus’ life than Carmen’s for a bit now – and Luca wants to make sure he’s being a good friend to him, considering he’d heard about Marcus’ mom’s emergency the night of The Bear’s friends and family night. 
“She’s hangin’ on but… it’s not lookin’ great. It’s hard, man. I’m… doin’ the best I can,” Marcus admits, solemnly. 
“I can only imagine,” Luca empathizes, because he can’t bear the thought of losing his own mum. 
“But uh… anyways, what’s up? What’s new with you?” Marcus asks, his voice much more energetic from the prospect of changing the subject. 
“You sure you want to hear about me?” Luca hesitates cautiously. 
“Yeah, man,” Marcus agrees. Luca can hear something so sure in his voice, as if Marcus is in dire need of a distraction – to talk about anything but his sick mom. “Shit. I’d love to hear about someone else’s drama for once,”
Luca chuckles softly, his voice light as he replies, “No drama on my end. Though. Ehm… I met a girl. I actually kinda have you to thank for it, mate.” 
“What do you mean?” Marcus questions. 
“Well. All that talk about inspiration…” Luca says, thinking about how what he’s just makes sense. 
“... you know, about being open to things outside the kitchen…. After you left, it made me realize that it’d be a while since I’d taken my own advice. Got stuck on a menu, went out for inspiration, and, well you know what they say: the rest is history.”
He knows it’s not as simple as that, but it seems like Marcus needs a little good news right now. 
“Oh shit! How’s that going?” Marcus asks, his tone much lighter now. 
“I’m positively chuffed, mate,” Luca chuckles, unable to hide the i’m-very-much-enamored smile that spreads across his face.
“The fuck does that even mean, man?” Marcus teases with a laugh at the oh-so-posh-sounding expression. 
Luca laughs again before explaining, “It means I'm pretty damn smitten.” 
“Shit,” Marcus sighs. 
He can see it all over his face as he continues to see his mentor. 
“You’re a goner, man.”
-------------------------------
Luca walks you home this Saturday evening after his regular dinner date at your restaurant. While you had a steady flow of business tonight, Mathilde and the rest of your kitchen staff made it a point to rally so that you could join him for a bit. It’s been a week since your unplanned sleepover with Luca (and your pleasantly surprising sexy morning after), and you haven’t stopped thinking about it. 
Haven’t stopped thinking about him:
The way he called you ‘love.’ The way he watched you fall apart with the most pleased look on his face. The way his fingers felt inside of you. 
“Luca,” you begin. 
The two of you stand across from one another, at a crossroads. The night could end here. You could say your goodbyes, give him a goodnight kiss, and go your separate ways, but that’s far from the option you’d prefer.
“Yes, love?” he asks you, as if he’s waiting for you to ask first.
There it is again. 
Love. 
Your eyes flicker from the cobblestone streets then back up to him as you the words fall out of your mouth:
“Do you… wanna come up?” 
Something flashes across Luca’s face as he opens mouth to say something, pausing for a moment before answering, as if it’s an agreement to what you’re really asking, an ever-so confident,
“Yes.” 
You smile, take a breath, then grab his hand as you turn towards the door to your building. As Luca follows you, the only sound between the two of you are your footsteps as you make your way up the stairs. The tension between you is thick, the anticipation of what happens next palpable, that takes shape as a pregnant silence. Luca is more-than-patient as you unlock your door, welcoming him into your home once again, before locking your front door behind you. He’s busy removing his shoes as you giggle, taking yours off as well. 
Once both of you are barefoot, you reach for him, pulling him towards you so that he towers over you, your back pressed against the front door once again. 
“This feels… eerily familiar,” Luca jokes softly, so close to kissing you that it hurts. 
“Yeah,” you agree, under your breath. This is exactly where he had you a week ago, before you both decided not to do the thing you were about to do. “Think you might wanna… pick up where we left off? Now that neither of us are plastered?”
Luca waits a beat, leaning in and ghosting his lips over yours, causing you to gasp in response to his teasing. 
“Do you?” he asks, his voice steady.
He wants to know that you’re sure. Wants to know that you want this as much as him. That you haven’t stopped thinking about the other day when he watched you fall apart on his fingers and how it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. 
“Yes,” you answer, your voice unwavering. 
He swears under his breath before his mouth is on yours, kissing you so deeply that your head spins. You make a mental note to tell him later how absolutely perfect his lips are – how deliciously plump they are, how they feel perfect against yours, how talented they are. You kiss him back, allowing him to steal the air from your lungs as he does it, crowding you up against your front door. 
Your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him closer to you. You push your body against his, surprised at how steady his hands are, while yours feel so desperate, so frenzied, when he reaches for you. 
His hands are all over you, leaving confident, strong touches all over your body: pulling you in closer to him by your hips, stroking up and down your back, sliding underneath the hem of your shirt like he’s already done this with you a thousand times before. With his hands already underneath your shirt, exploring new territory, and his mouth leaving a trail of wet kisses down your neck, his name leaves your lips like something between a sigh and a moan. 
He hums in response, pulling back for a moment. Your heart skips as a beath, as blue eyes lock with yours in a heated, lust-filled standoff. 
“Come with me,” you whisper, causing Luca to move aside, letting you lead him towards your bedroom. 
On the way there, you flip a hallway light on so that you can at least see where you’re going. You feel his fingers tangle with yours as he grabs your hand, his heart pounding in his chest. As soon as you reach your bedroom, you sit him down on your neatly-made bed, before turning on a small, soft, golden lamp that feels like candlelight. 
It’s just enough – more of a nightlight than a lamp, really.
You approach him without a word, and Luca marvels at you. You’re a sight for sore eyes: your hair messy from the heated makeout against your front door, your lips kiss-swollen from the fact that he can barely keep his hands, let alone his mouth off of you, your pupils blow wide with desire for him and only him. You pull your shirt over your head as you climb on to his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck as you press a searing kiss to his lips. 
“My god,” he murmurs, his hands coming up to meet the newly exposed skin. You settle into his lap, pressing your hips against his, arching your back into him in response to each touch. “You are so incredibly beautiful.”
You giggle before thanking him.
“Yeah, and I know that you know you’re hot,” you tease him in between kisses, because the man must know what he looks like, right? Luca mutters something about how he wasn’t trying to solicit a compliment from you as he lays back on your bed, taking you with him.
His hands hungrily grab at exposed flesh: the sides of your back, your breasts, the straps of your bra, just to pull them down enough to think he’s going to take it off. Impatiently, you grind your hips against where a tent in his pants has begun to form, earning a moan from his lips as he bucks his hips up to meet your clothed core. 
“We should um-,” you start, already so turned on by the way Luca’s body moves against yours that you think you should bring this up sooner rather than later. “Things we should talk about….”
“Yes, my love?” Luca asks, grinding against you again. 
You moan in response, throwing your head back as you giggle, knowing that he’s teasing you – testing your patience. 
You settle down, just for a moment, both hands going to his well-toned chest. Luca’s hands still around your hips as you say:
“I have condoms. In my nightstand. And I’m also on the pill. I… just got back on it.” 
Just got back on it when you started seeing him – you know, just in case this became a thing. 
“I haven’t been tested since my yearly physical which was… almost a year ago… but I also haven’t exactly been having sex so,” you add, your eyes flickering away for just a moment before returning to Luca’s very blue ones. 
“That’s very sexy,” he smiles up at you, his hands softly stroking your hips. 
“What?” you ask with a giggle, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you shoot him a quizzical look. 
“This… very direct communication,” he replies with a smirk, grinding his hips back up into yours again. 
“Luca!” you squeal in response, catching yourself against him so that you don’t lose your balance. 
He grins before answering, “My last test was three months ago at my yearly physical. Clean bill of health.” He pauses before saying the next thing. 
“And I’m not seeing anyone else.”
You nod, leaning down to kiss him in understanding, “Okay.”
“Okay,” he replies, bringing you down once more for another passionate makeout. 
Luca is right. It’s an even bigger turn on, the open communication, and now that you’ve gotten that conversation out of the way, you’re ready to dive in head first to exactly where you hope this is going. Getting undressed is a sexy, dreamy blur. You’re practically tearing Luca’s shirt over his head, unable to hide the fact that your jaw is near-on the floor as you take it in the hard planes of his abdomen. He expertly removes your bra, and before you know it, he’s gotten you onto your back, and you’re kicking your pants off to the bottom of the bed. 
Luca pins both of your hands to the bed overhead with one of his hands – his fingers laced with some of yours as he holds them in place – while his other hand once again makes its way between your legs. You gasp in anticipation, unable to stop the confession that comes out of your mouth. 
“I haven’t stopped thinking about that. About you. All week,” you whisper, eager to have him touch you again. 
“That so?” Luca asks cockily, in between kisses. 
“Yes,” you gasp, squirming underneath your touch as two his fingers dance over your clothed core. 
From the wetness pooling between your legs up to your clit, the way he touches you sets off sparks all over your body. You pant, unable to think straight as Luca pulls your pantied aside, his fingertips meeting your wetness immediately. He moans in response to this discovery, his forehead pressed against yours, and you cry out when he finally gives you what you’ve been begging for, as he slips a finger into you. 
“Luca,” you sigh, like you’ve gotten the only thing that could remedy your restlessness as of late. 
Luca kisses you again, his tongue slipping into your mouth for a millionth time tonight as he begins sliding his finger in and out of you. 
“You’re so wet, love,” he coos, teasingly, into your mouth. “It’s too easy. The way my fingers slide in and out of you.” He pushes another finger into you, beginning to stretch you again at a deliciously slow pace. “You want me this much?”
And all you can do is moan, arch your back in response to the pleasure he brings you, his hand keeping both of yours above your head while he has you at his mercy. 
“So good,” you cry, as you breathe heavily. “So good. It feels-. Fuck.” 
He chuckles cruelly, breaking the kiss between you as he pulls his fingers from you. You whimper in response, impatiently, greedily. The man has you under a sexual spell and you could care less about anything else right now. 
“I already know how you feel about my fingers. Think I should give you my mouth too, hm?” he rasps, his question anything but rhetorical. 
Luca releases your hands that he’s pinned to the mattress, beginning to kiss down your jaw, your neck, your bare torso, pausing to take each of your nipples into his mouth, his tongue flickering across them like it’s a goddamn preview. 
“I need to hear you say it,” he commands, his voice quiet yet dominant. Luca pauses, his journey south, leaving hot, open mouthed kisses across your belly as he looks up at you with piercing blue eyes. 
“D’you want my mouth? Will you let me taste you?” 
“Please,” you’re too quick, too eager to respond when you’re looking down at him, looking down at the sight before you. 
Without hesitation, Luca tears your panties down your legs, impatiently tossing them behind him. He begins kissing the inside of your right thigh, alternating between soft kisses, and gentle love bites that have you squealing in delight. You let out soft moans in anticipation, sure that whatever happens next will bring you to an early grave. 
A hiss in pleasure escapes your lips as you feel the heat of his breath fan over you, but before your brain can even catch up, Luca’s licking a broad stripe up your core, parting you open for him and only him. 
You cry out, your head thrown back as he buries his face between your legs, tracing fierce abstract shapes over your clit. He moans against you, the vibrations too much as you surrender to him. He alternated between sucking and licking, and it’s not till he’s pushing two fingers back into you that your hands are grasping at the sheets, grabbing at the back of his head as your body writhes in pleasure. 
You can feel it, that spark so deep in your belly, the coil that winds itself so tightly that the only thing it can do to relieve any tension is to snap. 
“Luca. I’m gonna cum,” you beg him, a desperate whine in your voice. “Please don’t stop.” 
He doesn’t. It’s as if he couldn’t bear the thought of it – like he could never be cruel enough to deny you what you’re asking for when your voice sounds so sweet, so desperate, so on fire for him.
Using his fingers and his mouth in tandem, he’s relentless in bringing you to your climax, so determined to keep his name on your lips with every gasp, moan, and exhale.
And god, does he love the way it sounds: when you’re moaning it, when you’re begging him not to stop, when you make it sound like a symphony – like he’s just created a goddamn masterpiece. 
He’s left you breathless, and all you can do is breathe, allowing your brain to catch up with the pleasure your body has just experienced. Luca makes his way back up to you before pressing a searing kiss to your lips. You can taste yourself on his lips, and you have no intention of stopping now. 
You can feel the weight of him as he folds his body over yours. Curious hands begin to move as you become more and more interested in exploring Luca’s body. His muscles flex underneath your fingertips as a reminder of the sheer strength of the man above you. Luca groans as you cup him over his pants, before you begin to undo his pants.
“Do you… want to grab a condom?” he asks softly. 
You pause, your hands to meet his gaze with your own. 
“Uh.. yeah,” you reply. You had every intention of returning the favor, but perhaps that’s something you’ll save for tomorrow. “Let me just um….” 
You sit up, and Luca pulls back, kneeling on the bed as he finishes the job, undoing the button on his pants as you open your nightstand to grab a condom. You place the condom down on the bed next to you, before laying down, your legs spread enough so that Luca can settle between them as you watch him slide his pants and briefs down over his erection. 
Holy. Shit. 
The man’s an adonis. 
And…
Well, you know you shouldn’t be surprised. 
He’s 6’ 3” for godssake. 
But as you see his cock standing tall, hard, precum leaking from the tip, you’re glad you’ve had quite the night of foreplay so far, especially since it’s been a while since you’ve taken a lover. Instead of hesitating, you sit up just for a moment so that you can pull him over you, pulling Luca down to you for a kiss. He’s quick to respond, using one tatted hand to cradle the back of your head, deepening the kiss as he lays over you once again. 
Your right hand makes it way between you, beginning to stroke him, earning a hiss of pleasure from Luca as you wrap your hand around his thick length. He bucks into your hand and you stroke up and down his erection a few times before guiding him towards you, allowing him to use your slick as lubricant as the two of you grind against each. 
You know you should do the responsible thing, but you can’t help wondering what it would feel like too. But there’s time for that. Another time for that… 
As if he’s read your mind, Luca grabs the condom next to you, before sitting up. He carefully rips open the foil packet before tossing it somewhere on the floor, giving both hands the freedom to slide the latex over his hard on. And then he’s back on you, folding his body over yours as you make room for him between your legs, pressing the gentlest kiss to your lips. 
“You sure you want to do this?” he asks, and you think you’ll melt with how damn considerate he is. 
“Yes, baby,” you whisper back, it being the first time you’ve called him that. “Yes.” 
With your ‘yes’ Luca reaches down, pressing his thick tip against your opening, then begins to push in. You both gasp at the contact as he holds your gaze, and you feel the slightest pinch as he stretches you open. Luca caresses the side of your face, watching you for any sign, any kind of reaction that you’d want to stop. He keeps his eyes on you, pushing deeper, and then deeper, till he bottoms out.
Leaning his forehead against yours as he pauses, he’s got to focus on not cumming right then and there. 
“Fuck. You feel so fucking good,” he exhales, letting the way you feel take over him. You’re all warm, wet, pulsing heat and it feels too fucking good. 
You give yourself a moment to adjust to his size, before beginning to give him a few experimental movements, grinding your hips where the two of you are connected. Without having to say a word, Luca understands, dragging his hard length out of you at an unbearably slow pace, before pushing back into you, eliciting moans from the both of you this time. 
“Do that again,” you murmur, your eyes fluttering close and you focus on the delicious drag of his cock. 
He does it again, this time thrusting a little bit harder into you, causing you to moan a little louder this time. His mouth is back on yours as he begins to set a rhythm, thrusting in and out of you while you meet his hips with yours, rocking against him at a pace that matches. It’s as if Luca’s begun to map out your body, wanting to memorize every little thing that makes you tick, that makes you scream, causes you to grasp at any grabbable surface – the sheets, his hair, his back. 
His mouth is back on yours, swallowing your moans as he continues to fuck you. You’ve settled into a rhythm that feels just right – something that you can get completely lost in. It could be minutes, hours, days that you’ve been here, chasing mutual pleasure, wrapped up in each other’s arms like you need it to breathe. The way he moves against you is strong, yet gentle as Luca makes love to you, whispering the filthiest things into your mouth, into your ears, the soft canvas of your skin, as if he’s engraving them in stone.
You take me so well. So fucking pretty like this. My beautiful girl. 
“Luca,” you gasp, as he gives you a particularly euphoric thrust. 
“Hm?” he hums in response. 
“Let me ride you,” you request, your eyelids heavy as he stays close to you. 
“Yeah?” he asks you, one expressive eyebrow raising up. 
“Yeah,” you nod. 
Luca kisses you deeply before pausing, pulling out of you and rolling over onto his back. He thinks he’s died and gone to heaven as he watches you climb on top of him, your disheveled sex hair and desire to fuck him seem to awaken something primal in him. As you hover over him, your knees framing his hips, you line yourself up with him before taking him once again. 
Luca groans, letting his hands trace gentle patterns up and down your body – his hands smooth over your ass and caress your breasts, as calloused fingertips drag across your stomach, your shoulders, your ribcage – as if he's writing a love letter against your skin. 
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he says, his voice low and gravelly. 
He moans, closing his eyes as you begin moving your hips over him, forward and back, beginning to ride him like you’d asked to earlier. Large hands make their way to your hips, as you continue your movements, this time leaning down to kiss him. Luca moans into your mouth as your tongues tangle together, your hips never ceasing their grind against him. 
It feels too good. 
You feel too good.
You break the kiss this time, placing your hands on Luca’s chest for leverage as you begin to speed up your pace, letting out a moan as you fuck yourself on your lover. Back arched, hair messy, and your head thrown back, you’re completely lost in the way that he feels inside of you. 
“Look at you,” Luca marvels, hands everywhere as you bring yourself closer to your second orgasm of the night. “My god, love.” 
And before you know it, Luca’s sitting up, sitting tall, wrapping one of his long arms around your torso while the other braces against the bed behind him. He’s thrusting his hips up into you, his hand moving to the small of your back to keep you in perfect harmony with him. The way he hits the back of you with each thrust, how deep he is, how good it feels has you so, so close for the second time tonight. You cry out in response to a particularly hard thrust as your body slumps, resting your forehead against Luca’s shoulder. 
You are no longer in control. It’s funny really – and sweet – that he let you think even for a second that you could be. But when he’s bouncing you up and down like this over his hard length, thrusts becoming more erratic, more chaotic, sloppier, you have no choice but to surrender to him. You hold onto his back and his shoulders for dear life as he fucks up into you and you can tell he’s close too. 
“God, you’re so good. You’re so fucking good at this,” you whine, all nerves, and explosive pleasure behind your admission. 
“I’m close. Baby, are you-?” Luca struggles to get out, the tension in his brow telling you everything you need to know. 
“Yes. Harder. Fuck. I’m gonna cum,” you sob, sure that your neighbors will send you the dirtiest or looks when you run into them in the hallway tomorrow. 
You cry out as his fingers return to your clit, rubbing hasty circles against you in an effort to take you there with him. All you can do is moan as you busy your mouth with leaving kisses and love bites against his shoulders and chest. 
It’s somehow too much and not enough all at once as your orgasm rips through you, your entire body contracting against his. You bite down on Luca’s shoulder, and you think the pain and pleasure combined is what gets him across the finish line as he fucks you through your climax. Before you can properly come down, it’s one, two, and then a third hard thrust up into you before he lets out a primal grunt, pressing your hips down hard against his. 
Luca stills inside of you, panting as the ripples of pleasure course through his body, his ears ringing from how hard he came. His eyes meet yours, and he chuckles, moving a piece of hair from your face before tucking it behind your ear. 
“Hi,” he smiles, watching you carefully. 
“How ya doin?” you ask him, teasingly. 
He shakes his head with a laugh before pulling you towards him so that he can kiss you once again. 
“I’m great,” he answers, in between kisses. 
“Me too,” you agree as your lips curl into a smile against his. You press one more kiss to his lips before pulling back. As you climb off of his lap, allowing him to slip out of you, the two of you hit the mattress like you’ve just run a marathon. 
“Come here, love,” he says, encouraging you closer to him. 
More than happy to oblige, you curl up to his side, one of your legs wrapping around his as you lay on your side. You giggle, settling into the softness of moment, pressed up against the guy that just fucked your brains out. 
“What?” he asks, in regards to your laugh. 
“I just-,” you start, before giggling again. “That was really hot.”
Luca gives you a comforting squeeze, hugging you closer to him as you relax even further into his body. 
“Yeah it was,” he agrees, a grin spreading across his lips. 
He looks over at you to see that you’re on your way to being fast asleep. You’ve closed your eyes, so perfectly tucked underneath his arm as you rest against his body. Luca places a gentle kiss on top of your head as he grins to himself again. He’s not sure what to call it – this thing he’s feeling – because it’s too soon to call it anything, but whatever it is, he knows that his friend was right: 
He’s a goner. 
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Luca doesn’t know what he did in a past life to deserve this, but as he watches you take him into your mouth, he knows he must’ve done something right. Your name escapes his lips like a prayer as you spend your morning going down on him, completely incapable of ignoring the hard-on you woke up to minutes ago.
You’d promptly pushed him onto his back before asking if you could. 
And who was he to say no?
“Shit,” he hisses, as your tongue runs over the head of his hard, leaking cock.
“Wait, just-. I don’t want to cum yet. I-,” Luca stammers out, using all of his self control not to cum in your mouth right then and there. “I want to fuck you again.” 
His words shoot straight to your core as you release him, climbing back over his body and letting him roll you onto your back. 
“Do you want me to grab a condom?” he asks you, nipping at your jaw as his fingers discover that you’re already ready for him. 
His words from last night echo in your head: 
And I’m not seeing anyone else. 
“No,” you say, immediately searching his face for some kind of negative reaction. “Is that okay?” 
He nods, one side of his mouth turns up into that crooked smile that makes your heart race. 
“Fuck,” he rasps, his head spinning as he lines himself up with your entrance, beginning to push in. 
“Of course it is, love.”
683 notes · View notes
screaminglygay · 7 months
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KINKTOBER day 6
pairing: shapeshifter!maria hill x fem!reader
summary: someone flirts with you and maria can’t tolerate it.
warnings: pet play!!!, smut!!!, maria has a penis, blowjob, slapping, dirty talk, swearing, praising, addressing reader as “mutt, puppy, bitch”, not proofread, if anything else - let me know and I’ll add it
word count: 1.8k
an: this was short and so is my free time these days, I hate work and ughh, so sorry I’ve been inactive my life is just falling apart rn, so enjoy this smut <3 thank you for all the support! 💕
(Italics = your thoughts)
!MDNI!
Enjoy this spooky seasons and be safe!
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"What is a pretty girl like you doing here alone?" A blonde lady asks you.
"Oh, I´m not here alone, my girlfriend is just in the bathroom," you smile at the girl, who is curently too close to your liking.
"Well if she´s in the bathroom, then we can have some fun, before she comes back." The girl touches your hand.
"Oh, no. No, thank you." You take a step away from her.
"Come on, don´t make a big deal out of it. Just a little fun, it won´t hurt you."
Before you can say anything, you feel a hand on your waist, that squeezes you very tightly. You know who it was, even if you were in a coma, you would recognize the touch.
"She said no, so get lost before you gonna get hurt." Maria says firmly as she dugs her nails into your sides.
"You are the girlfriend?" The blonde lady tilts her head and chuckles at Maria´s words.
The next thing you see is your girflriend basically dragging you out of the bar and the blonde girl on the ground with bloody face. To be honest she was asking for it, no is a no and that´s it. And you said it many times, so you are not really sorry for her.
"I can´t believe you." Maria mumbles as she opens the door for you, something she always did.
Early in your dating you once opened your door and she made you go back inside the car, so she could open the door for you, since that... you never open the door.
"You can´t be two minutes alone, god. You just have to be whoring yourself out, huh?" Maria finally looks at you. You sit in the car, not knowing what to say to her. "You´re not gonna say anything?" She slams the door and sits in the driver seat.
"I wasn´t whoring myself out-" you try to explan.
"Oh you weren´t? Look at you, you´re tits are basically out, you have this look in your eyes that says you wanna be fucked-" Maria scoffs, "I can´t believe you, honestly. You want the attention, right? You´re just so fucking needy, you can´t be a second without someone wanting you!" Maria starts the car and the rest of the ride was silent, the engine's gentle hum is the only sound breaking the silence that surrounds you both.
Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Maria's hands on the steering wheel, her knuckles white with frustration. Her jaw is set, and her brows are furrowed in a deep scowl. You steal a quick glance at her, but her gaze is fixed firmly on the passing scenery, her lips pressed into a thin, tight line.
You are screwed.
The radio remains off, a stark contrast to the usual joyful flirty conversations or catchy tunes that fill the air during your car rides. The world outside blurs as you both stew in your own thoughts, the miles passing.
Every so often, you look at her, the anger in the air grows so thick that you can practically taste it. You feel a weight in your chest, an ache of regret, and the unspoken words hang heavy between you. You consider breaking the silence, but Maria's demeanor warns you to stay quiet.
As the car finally pulls into the driveway, you breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that the car ride has come to an end. However, the tension between you and Maria remains as thick as ever. She opens the door and then comes to your side, doing the same as always. Both of you make your way into the house.
Once inside, Maria turns to you, her anger still very visible. Her voice is sharp and cold as she says, "Go to the bedroom." Her words hang in the air, heavy and laced with authority.
Nervousness washes over you as you obey her command, knowing that this is far from over. You make your way to the bedroom, your heart pounding in your chest. The silence in the house is broken only by the sound of your footsteps and the distant noice of Maria´s action in the kitchen.
As you enter the bedroom, you can't help but wonder what will happen next. The tension in the air is almost unbearable, and you know that a storm is brewing.
Maria enters the bedroom, her expression still heavy with anger. She takes a deep breath and finally speaks, her voice tight and controlled. "We need to talk."
You nod, a lump forming in your throat as you prepare yourself for the conversation you've been dreading.
"Your behavior was unacceptable, and it embarrassed me. It´s just... I´ve spent so many weeks on training you and yet it was all for nothing." Maria speaks firmly.
You lower your gaze, feeling a sense of remorse for your actions.
Maria looks at you with this drive in her eyes. "I don't want to hear any apologies, not in words at least. I want you to show me that you're truly sorry."
You meet Maria's gaze, not really knowing if you´re alowed to say anything.
"You need to prove that you´ve learnt something. I need to see that you respect me, our relationship, and our rules." Maria firmly says.
The weight of her words sinks in, and you know that regaining her trust won't be easy, but it's something you're willing to work for. You´re staying quiet.
"You are allowed to talk, speak mutt." She is proud of you for following one of the rules.
You nod, "I understand, Maria. I'll do whatever it takes to make things right. I´m sorry."
"Good. Then we'll start with the learning again, and you'll have to earn back my trust." Maria says while moving closer to you.
As you watch her, you know that actions will indeed speak louder than words.
"Strip and take on your collar. You´ll be sleeping in your kennel tonight-" her words make you protest.
"But-" You whine, but she slaps you.
"You were saying something, mutt?" Maria holds your chin with a strong grip, her nails digging into your face.
Shaking your head quickly, was your only answer. It was some time, since you´ve slept in the kennel. When Maria met you, she knew you would be her good puppy, that she will train no matter what... and she did.
You were always so good for her, some punishments in the early days, but now? You were her precious little puppy, who did everything perfectly and you got rewarded for it. So it was a win win situation, till now.
You didn´t want to make her even more mad, so you did as you were told and got naked, took your collar and kneeled next to the bed. There was no chance she would let you on the bed right now.
Maria smiles as she watches you thinking in your head, what you can and cannot do. "Good, puppy. See? It´s not that hard to be good."
You didn´t do anything wrong today, at all, both of you know it, but Maria loves this type of game, and she knows very well, that you will play it too.
"I was thinking, mutt. Maybe you should get a little reminder, who owns you, because I feel like your little brain is too occupied with the thought of being fucked," she grabs your hair. "That you don´t care who will be the one fucking you." Maria yanks your hair and whispers in your ear, "I bet you´re dripping already."
You take a deep breath, as you know that tonight will be along one.
Maria´s hands cups your pussy. "Of course you are. You´re such a bitch in heat, you would let her take you there, right on the bar, right?" She´s mad mad right now.
"NO! I wouldn´t!" You know you don´t have the permission to talk, but you need to now, you need to show Maria, that you didn´t care about that girl. "I didn´t care about her, only you!"
"You´re forgetting who owns you, you´re forgetting your rules, I´m spoiling you too much now..." Maria slaps you again. "I can see it now, you´re a spoiled bitch." She sighs. "I don´t think I gave you permission to speak. So... use your mouth for better use."
As you try to take Maria´s pants off, you notice that she´s packing, you didn´t notice that before the club, maybe she took it right after you came back home.
But when you take off her pants you notice that it´s not a strap, it´s a real dick. Your eyes widen at that sight. But you didn’t have time to think about it into the depths.
"Go on, suck." Maria brngs your head to her crotch and you immedietly open your mouth.
You start with gentle long, slow licks from top to bottom the base, you know you´re doing a good job, when you hear Maria letting out her moans. You tease her a little with your tongue and she immediately responds by pushing your head further to her, your nose hitting her lower belly.
You make eye contact with her, both of your faces are sharing the same lust, that is now the main emotion, anger can´t no longer be found. You hold her in your throat for a few second before pulling out for a air, but you want to show her you can do it, so you dive back in, making her moan louder this time.
You can feel her twitch inside your mouth, she is close. Your movements are now slower and everything is just messier, spit is coming down your chin, onto your tits, which makes Maria go feral. "Fuck- just like that, puppy." You moan against her, which sends shivers up and down her spine. "You´re doing so good, so fucking good."
You want to show her, that you are hers and only hers, you move closer to her, her dick hitting the back of your throat, your hands are slowly coming to her balls, playing with them which makes Maria cum righ away.
Keeping still so she send her full load down your throat, you proudly swallow it whole, like the good puppy you are. "Just like that, good, very good-" Maria says out of breath.
You lick her clean, not letting a single drip of cum go to waste.
You look like a mess, but so does Maria. One of her fingers finding your chin and she wipes the little cum you had on your lower lip. Bringing the finger into her mouth and tasting herself. "Hm, I don´t blame you, why are you so addicted to my taste... I’m quite delicious." She makes you stand up. "Oh look at that mess you made!" You can see that you´ve ruined the carpet, it´s completly drenched from your juices. "I guess we gonna have way more fun with this ability."
"But- how did you?" You tilt your head, moving your hand to where her dick was a few moments ago, but now it´s just her wet pussy.
"I´ve trained my skills, something you should do too, puppy. So go to your kennel and I´ll think about letting you cum next week."
Maria was harsh, but the orgasms she gives you are worth the wait.
Hehe thank you for reading!:)
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avocado-writing · 6 months
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hey! first off, i love your writing so much.
secondly, i’d love to see an aziraphale x reader x crowley fic where the reader has some mental health issues (specifically like anxiety and depression) and they’re going through a really rough time at the moment (maybe they’re just in a really bad headspace or their meds aren’t working so they’re struggling really bad) and they just get support and comfort from aziracrow. (i’m ngl this is kind of a self indulgent ask bc i’m personally going through some bad mental health stuff rn -100/10 i do not recommend). anyways, there’s no rush at all i’m just a sucker for hurt/comfort and fluff.
hope you have an amazing day!
notes: finally getting around to clearing out my requests, sorry this took so long - I was sort of avoiding it for a while because I wasn’t in a great space either. I hope you’re doing better x
pairing: aziraphale x reader x crowley (could be read as platonic)
cw: depression/seasonal affective disorder
rating: T
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It’s difficult. 
Some days it feels like the fog won’t lift. The dark months, they always get you and it’s awful - you just want to sleep for a long time and not wake up until you know it will be better. You need to get your meds adjusted, really, but the idea of going outside and dealing with people is just a little bit sickening. 
You can’t. You just can’t. 
The lethargy that can only be brought on with melancholia plagues your every waking moment. You know that you’d forget to take care of yourself if it wasn’t for the two of them. 
God knows they’re wonderful. 
Every morning you wake up to a check-in text from Crowley, gently encouraging you to shower because they’ll be over soon. You find the effort to drag yourself to the bathroom and stand under the powerful jet for long enough that you start to zone out, only leaving the enclosure of water and steam when you hear the two of them walk into your flat. 
You never gave them the key. They manage to get in anyway. 
They bring breakfast - well, Aziraphale brings breakfast, and he eats it with you to make sure that you eat at all. That can be something that you forget. Crowley watches you over the rim of his coffee cup until he’s certain you’ve had an adequate amount, and then a miracle takes care of the washing up. 
Then they’re around you for as much or as little as you want them to be, but never more than a phone call away. 
One day you find yourself crying into your fried eggs, and the two of them look aghast. In a flash they’re by your side, holding you, a hand running up and down your back in comfort. 
“My dear, what’s the matter?” Aziraphale asks, and you can hear him snap his jaw shut quickly because well, the depression is the matter. It’s so ridiculous you end up laughing through your sobs. 
“Sorry. Sorry, I’m being silly,” you manage, wiping your eyes on your sleeve. “I just… you’re so wonderful to me. I don’t deserve it.”
“None of that,” Crowley chastises you, gently, “‘course you ‘deserve it’.”
“It isn’t a burden to look after someone you care about, darling,” Aziraphale adds. 
And you can’t bring yourself to say anything more, so you just let yourself be held very tightly. 
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tags: @angiestopit @foolishprincipalitee @smile-eywa @staygoldsquatchling02 @underratedboogeyman @specter-soltare @candlewitch-cryptic @cool-ontherun-world @emilynissangtr @willbedecided @bdffkierenwalker @cool-iguana @ilyatan @civil-groupie @willyoubethepookietomypookster @lxsm2 @clarina04 @wtfhasmy-lifecometo @mrgatotortuga @wereallbrokenangels @night-affiliate @silcosmoke @kimqueenofhell @chewbrry @bajablast23 @h3k3t @am-i-obsessed---maybe @bakerstreethound@a-mediocore-writer@darktealrat @chaospossum @belilwen @rex-ray @hunterispunk
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milimeters-morales · 11 months
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i will be totally honest with y’all i can’t see Hobie (ATSV) in a romantic relationship ever. like, i can’t see him seeing anybody ever as “the one” or even having multiple partners or anything. I can barely see him having friends outside of the ones he already has. I can somewhat see the “are we dating or are we not dating” thing being something he gets involved in, but not really. i think a lot of people either don’t know or just forget that he’s probably homeless and that his world is shit rn and that stuff he needs isn’t easy to come by 😭😭 and a lot of homeless people just don’t have time/energy for shit like romantic relationships and the stuff he’s doing canonically because they’re so focused on trying to survive. That’s why when I make posts about him casually flirting or whatever it’s never serious, it never goes anywhere, because honestly! Between music shows, trying to find your next meal, fighting the power, trying to find a shelter for the night, helping other homeless people and others in need as both a civilian and Spider-Man, dealing with dimensional threats, trying to find a place to get clean, i just don’t think Hobie has time to even consider it. Sure, maybe there are facilities in the HQ to make it easier, but after that stunt, i think he’d avoid using them as much as possible. do you see what i mean??
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amazeingartist · 8 months
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ok art’s not working rn but I still wanna share ghostsoap in my zombie au here too after seeing a bunch of the cod zombies stuff on twitter (I’m very autistic about zombie and since tumblr doesn’t really have a limit y’all will get more info. depression works hard, but autism works harder /j)
anyway tags for any of y’all who don’t vibe with this type of content
CW: zombies, so cannibalism, body horror (mutation based zombies they’re not the rotting kind), gore mentions, a little bit of death (not proper mcd)
(Will update if I’ve missed a tag)
AU CONTEXT:
SO the timeline is set far into the future of the zombie apocalypse where anything zombie related is very normal and apart of everyday life with relics and stories to the old word. Humanity is kinda thriving, there’s technology, medicine, secure food sources, water, functional cities & towns, overall the quality of life is pretty good, it’s a lil sci-fiy but not overly so.
The specific zombie strain to is a mutation based one, so there’s different zombie types and it affects all living things; herbivores are the only type of infected that’s non-aggressive unless provoked, while all carnivorous/predatory animals and certain omnivores are always hostile. Regardless of aggression, the disease can be easily transmitted via blood, bites, scratches, ingestion of contaminated products, and saliva depending on the zombie type. (fun fact—zombie cows are a thing and are used to deter attacks on living/healthy livestock)
GHOAP TIME
Anyway, world building context done (for now), Ghost & Soap are partners in “community security”, meaning they are to deal with threats to the livelihood/safety of people. They mostly work with towns since towns have less means to protect themselves—cities have fences and walls which are patrolled whereas towns outside a city might only have a simple fence and a couple zombie cows—from the hordes, raiders or particularly bothersome zombie types, while occasionally doing specialised work in the cities.
Ghost is blight, a humanoid zombie that has retained their human consciousness despite turning, while Soap is a delayed, a immune human who’s blood can used to suppress the affects of infection for via regular prescribed shots. Both are incredibly rare btw, (for both human and zombie) and are literally an ideal working pair because blight’s are highly infectious to the point where their drool is a safety hazard (one of the reasons they’re muzzled), but since Soap’s immune there’s no risk. Blight’s are also susceptible to unexpectedly going feral which Soap prevents by keeping Ghost in touch with his humanity; literally Soap’s lack of fear of Ghost is what helps them be a perfect working pair (that and Ghost genuinely enjoying Soap’s company).
So yeah, they patrol for raiders and redirect any wandering corpses frequently, with the occasionally job from some regular folk that’s too dangerous to do themselves—just all things that genuinely help people keep and feel safe.
Unfortunately for Soap, when dealing with zombies he can’t hide or mask himself as easy a regular person, a problem Ghost, unless displaying aggression, doesn’t have on account of being an actual zombie. Soap does abuse his immunity though, throwing himself in front of others to act as a meat shield and protect them from infection. Cause of that though his body is littered in scars of bite and scratch marks (zombies that harm Soap usually don’t exist for much longer if Ghost’s around)
As a blight, Ghost’s mutated state is centred around his human base but has elements of other zombie types; from pale and dark veiny skin, his jaw and throat are split into mandibles which Ghost needs a custom compression mask to be able talk, his arms have exposed boney spines/blades that are both retractable and can be used as projectiles (throwing knife equivalent), his nails are basically claws + are also somewhat retractable, and over certain parts of Ghost’s body are have bone plating as armour. It’s unclear the exact limit of Ghost’s capabilities as it’s near impossible to test him as he hates doctors/labs, (the reason he’ll consistently stepping into a lab for is for a blood transfusion/feed).
[^^^may be updated as I think more about this au]
Little Ghoap moment, but Soap will help Ghost in his upkeep of himself by either filing down Ghost’s claws or brushing the rows and rows of sharp teeth for any bits of stuck flesh and to keep an excess buildup of bacteria from forming. It’s literally something only Soap can do, both cause he’s immune and because Ghost only feels comfortable letting Soap help. It’s not an process that should take very long, but Soap is meticulously and after holding Ghost’s mandibles awkwardly extended for some time, he’ll gently massage the muscles; despite the horror it’s actually a pretty sweet gesture. When they’re off duty Soap’ll unlock Ghost’s muzzle and massage his face after being compressed for a couple days too (Soap’s one of the few people with the authority to unlock Ghost’s muzzle)
and uh yeah. I think that the end of that for now, hope it’s enjoyable. I’m combing my current hyperfixation with an idea/project I’ve been working on for years and is quite dear to me so there’s a lot of information to share lmao. feel free to ask any questions if there are any, preferably via the asks but comments are fine too (just I can tag asks together)
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veeketchum · 3 months
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I’m rewatching Voltron rn (since I was thinking back and all I could remember apart from the names of all the characters was that one monsters and mana episode) and I’m only like three episodes in but I LOVE it
one thing though-
why has no one written a isekai fic for Voltron?? I would eat that shit UP
(this is all based off the vague memories I have of the show when I first watched it, so apologies if something’s are wrong)
imagine just waking up as a newborn but you fully remeber your old life, including watching Voltron. You can practically FEEL that something is off about this world compared to the memories of your previous life, but you don’t know what until you see a sign for Garrison recruitment.
Holy shit you’re in Voltron.
You have absolutely no clue what to do, because if any isekai trope is to go by, you’re going to get dragged into the events of the show, even if you haven’t seen anyone you recognize yet.
so you prepare. Better to be safe than sorry. You research outer space, you study how to pilot, you get your hands on whatever books you can about tech and try to get familiar with how to use it, and most importantly, you learn medical procedures and how to deal with situations quickly.
the healing pods aren’t always available in the show, the castle loses power or the paladins are just too far away to get to them.
mind you, you start this all at like age 4, so your parents are probably a little concerned. But you seem content with it, and what parent would stop their child from reading?
then your parents enroll you in Garrison, without your knowledge. Not that you were mad exactly, but you were unsure if you were going to try and stay under the radar or not. Now you have no choice.
you keep your head down most of the time, praying none of the paladins show up. They don’t, at least not your first few years. It’s your third year that you spot Keith, in the freshman class.
surprise surprise, somehow your class is shifted to help train the younger class (even though you’re barely more experienced then them? You’re seriously questioning these teachers). You, against all odds, are paired with Keith. Y’all don’t talk much outside of what’s required- Keith is Keith, and you’re still trying to figure out the best way to go about this. You ask him for a few flying tips once, since you know how good he is, but he stared at you for a while before saying “aren’t you the more experienced one?” You just shrug, and neither of you speak about it again.
It rolls around to when they get that new piloting simulator, and both classes are to use it on different days. Shiro, of course, is there, just like in show. You, by memory at this point (you can’t even count how many nights you’ve sneaked into the normal simulator to practice, or the deck to spar), ace it, soaring over everyone else’s score- and by doing that, catch Shiro’s attention.
there goes staying under the radar.
——————————————
(I’m totally going to add to this, especially as I get further into my rewatch, but this is all I can think of at the moment.)
Idk, I just feel like this idea would totally be fun and new to the Voltron corner of tumblr. Again, only in the first few episodes and most of this is relying on my really old memories of the series, so sorry if it’s wrong in places.
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sweetfire01 · 2 months
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i’ve been feeling super chaotic and feral rn
the poor daddies having to deal with all the energy i’ve been having haha
they probably deserve it tbh
wahaha! they can’t stop me ever! i’m the princess and so, they have to listen to me
— (🍊) anon
Ehehehehe >:) And that's why Beel isn't allowed to give you sweets and they have to make him understand that no, you won't die if you don't eat the tenth chocolate cookie, you're just being dramatic. Although in fact, now you have enough energy to train with him, right? After all, children love running and climbing, don't they? Maybe you can calm down a little… Mammon and Asmo would take the opportunity to take you out shopping, making things even more chaotic. They will return home with hundreds of bags of clothes, toys and very empty wallets. But anything for their cute princess! The other brothers must hope they didn't give you any sweets, or you'll still feel like jumping on the couch even after a whole day out. I can see Diavolo giving you a good dose of tickling to release all that energy. Yes, use it all to scream and kick your legs while the big, evil tickle monster blows raspberries into that adorable little tummy of yours. Who know if you'll still feel so energic when he finishes counting all your ribs…Don't make him lose count! Belphie will also use the same technique if you don't let him sleep: I hope you remember that he has also a fluffy tail. And if you still continue to be a brat he will hand you over to Beel who, as mentioned before, will be happy to let you do physical activity outside. Lucifer and Satan don't accept disobedience in the slightest, so you'll end up on their knee the second after you said something sassy to them. So try to behave if you don't want to end up with a red butt right after breakfast. Simeon and even Howl will be more patient. They are happy that their baby feels so excited to play, but they still don't tolerate the bad behaviour. You can be good and play on the mat with them or go for a walk outside - Howl might even take you to the sea at Porthaven or fly around in the sky - or you can wear the booties if you insist on going where you don't have to, the mittens if you keep throwing things at Daddy, or the soapy pacifier tied in your mouth if you prove you don't know better than to speak politely.
Honorable mention to a character from "The world ends with you" because this ask reminded me of him: Sho Minamimoto.
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Look at him: this guy is so chaotic that the world literally will end with you two considering he even speaks through a megaphone. I can already imagine you getting your hands on it. Please, someone separate you two.
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beautifulpersonpeach · 5 months
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Hi BPP, lemme pick your beautiful brain abit if you don’t mind. So i think it is really beautiful that jikook decided to enlist together using the buddy program. But no matter how much i think about it, i can’t seem to figure out why they decided to do that if they are not more than friends. Don’t get me wrong, i am not saying that people who are just friends cannot do the buddy program, no, they definitely can and they have in the past but my thing is, with the way almost everyone was kinda convinced that jikook had grown distant and were not as close anymore in chapter two, how do u explain them choosing to go together, being joined at the hip for 18 months? Plus they have to have talked about this at some point way before they applied. So while many of us sat here thinking they were not as close anymore, they were making plans to enlist together as buddies? Why would they even consider this if they weren’t really close to each other and if they were still so close to each other enough to consider using this option, why did they both sometimes act like they were a little distant?
I can understand not wanting things to be so obvious but u could really tell that Jimin especially seemed very…, i dunno, different about Jk in chapter two. I don’t know of i’m making alot of sense rn or if u even understand where i’m coming from (i hope u do) but i’d love to hear what u think.
***
Oh god. I wish you sent me this ask an hour ago when I was still sober because I really want to answer this right this moment but there's at least 6 fingers of Lagavulin in me. Sorry in advance for whatever you read below - I've been told I ramble and I'm more of a cunt when I'm intoxicated.
I want to say I told you so. It was clear that whatever distance jikook showed in Chapter 2 was self-imposed. It looked like a caricature of what an actual breakup would look like, in my opinion. And mind you, I've never been certain that jikook are dating. They might not be and it wouldn't make a real difference to what we've all observed them to be: something more to each other than whatever is normal.
Any distance that showed in Chapter 2 was simply spatial. The way I saw it, Chapter 2 was a period for each member to present themselves to the world as individuals. It's something I believe every member took extremely seriously. It's possibly one reason Jungkook agonized over his album to the point Bang PD intervened and we thankfully got Golden. Chapter 2 was a big deal for them. Necessary. At the same time, all the boys know the narratives they have in the fandom. They know there's a faction of fans who believe either Jimin or Jungkook uses the other to remain popular in the fandom, they likely know most of the least flattering ones floating around. They know external critics are also likely to conflate their individual efforts and motives, whether positively or negatively.
I think it was important for every member to present themselves as a singular artist in Chapter 2, and this was even moreso for jikook because of their reputation of being stuck at the hip and/or overly dependent on each other. So on one hand I think they were more careful about showing their intimacy because of external critics and perceptions, but I also think they did it for themselves. They've always had lives outside each other and they had things they needed to pay attention to in any case, with enlistment looming over the horizon.
But now that it's happened, it feels very obvious that if they had the chance to do the Buddy program, they'd do it. I think part of what you're asking Anon, is which came first - did they decide to 'appear distant' in Chapter 2 before they decided to enlist together? Or was it afterwards?
Personally, I don't think it matters much which came first. They have always and always were going to choose each other. Jikook excite me because they are literally always jikooking. I'm not sure if people think I'm joking whenever I say it, but I mean it when I say I don't worry one second about those lads because they are always jikooking.
Even while they were apparently not so close in Chapter 2, some of those times they looked tormented. What was Jungkook thinking going live, just to stare at Jimin's tattooed chest in SMF Pt 2?
What was that bit with JK naked in bed and Jimin saying he could handle him? Jikook were messy as hell during their supposed 'distance' in Chapter 2 lool. Whether or not they were fucking a girl on the side makes no difference to how I think about what's gone down in the last 18 months, and it likely won't influence what I think of them during the next 18 months.
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idealisticrealism · 9 days
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TCL 3x09 thoughts
The main things:
Wanna feel sad? Just think about how much Arman would have loved to be at Luca’s basketball game in this ep. Because lbr, he absolutely would have dropped anything and everything to be right there in the front row with Thony, seeing Luca running around with his friends– finally out and happy and free, just like they’d hoped for for so long. Like seriously, I can just picture it: him buying one of the team shirts or like a cap or something; him giving Luca some tips at half time about how to deal with that kid that’s sticking to him and how to position himself for a pass; Fi shooting teasing looks at Thony that she ignores. Then at some point Thony grabs at his hand when something exciting happens, and only belatedly realises what she’s done and they look at each other wordlessly and then they just… keep holding on for a bit??? Ugh. And then after the game ends Luca runs straight to Arman for a huge double high-5 and chatters at him about ‘did you see my pass? Did you see this/that/etc??’ and Arman is so sweet and warm with him and Thony is absolutely melting but trying not to show it. And then they all head outside together and Luca begs Arman to come watch him again next week and Arman tells him that of course he’ll be there. And our Fi is a true wingwoman so she distracts Luca for a few moments so Thony and Arman can say their goodbyes, and it’s all warm looks and soft words. Maybe she reaches up to touch his new team cap and says "It suits you", then lets her fingers brush just lightly against his cheek and jaw before she drops her hand and just says “I’ll see you soon?”, and he only gets to nod before Luca is calling for her. Then he just stands there and watches as they walk away and wishes so much that he could be going with them, and as Thony gets in the car she looks back at him and smiles and uughhhhh someone help me I’m deep in my feelings rn 
Okay so I’m not sure how clear this was to the average non-medical viewer, but the medical stuff in this episode was legitimately hilarious. Like I cannot express enough that that is not how any of that works. I can’t even pick my favourite inaccuracy because there were just too many, but damn they were all funny as hell to watch haha. But overall I did really appreciate that the writers went in the poisoning direction with Ramona’s illness and that it wasn’t a cancer of some kind… though I guess I should have known that they wouldn’t do that to us or the cast or themselves after everything that happened with Adan.
But hooooo boyyy I was so delighted to finally see some clear glimpses of the Dark!Thony I’ve been hoping for!! First when she’s alone with an unconscious, apparently bleeding-out Ramona, and she has the exact kind of moment that I mentioned last week– that moment when something outside her control goes wrong, and she realises that if she does nothing, Ramona will die without anyone knowing she didn’t do everything possible to try to stop it. Like damn, our girl literally steps back and just stands there and watches Ramona bleed with an expression that almost borders on satisfaction, as if this– Ramona’s death– is what they both deserve, and I love that for her. As I’ve said previously, Thony’s saviour complex is a longstanding, central aspect to her character, so for her to actively choose not to help someone who desperately needs her is a huge marker of the way she is growing and changing in this new world, and also a clear demonstration of just how huge Ramona’s crime was in Thony’s eyes– in betraying Arman and causing his death, Ramona took the love of Thony’s life, and now Thony “I Swore An Oath To Do No Harm” De La Rosa is out to end hers. And hell yes I am so here for it. Too bad Jorge arrives right at the wrong time and so she’s forced to resume the rescue efforts… But dude. Just imagine the poetic justice if Thony later kills Ramona by shooting her… so Thony saves her life by taking out one bullet, then takes her life by putting another in??? Like c’mon writers please, we’ve suffered so much, just let me have my dream of seeing Thony commit revenge-murder for the man she loves. Please. 
And speaking of revenge, omg the moment when she finds out that Jeremy was the one who snuck into the house? And suddenly puts it all together about how he’s been using her and her family, and that he is the missing piece of how the FBI found out about Arman’s exchange– all because she gave him her trust when she was vulnerable, and he took advantage of it? Watching her face go from shocked disbelief to horrified understanding to just the tiniest hint of absolutely sickened fury was so fucking powerful, especially as One Way Or Another played in the background– a song which is about a dangerous stalker, and which now actually fits both of them. Before, Jeremy was the one stalking her, using her, wrecking her life without her knowledge– but now, the tables have turned. Now, she knows, and she’s going to make him pay for what he’s done not only to her, but to her family, and most of all, to Arman. She’s going to use his own advice against him, because she already knows his weakness (the fact that he thinks he’s pulling the strings, that he holds all the power and that she’s just his clueless little puppet) and she’s going to use it to her advantage. Honestly, the dream scenario is for her to maneouvre things so that Sin Cara is actually responsible for killing him, but she gets to be right there when it happens, so he can look at her in his final moments and realise that she did this, that his powerless prey was actually a predator after all, and that he made the biggest mistake of his life the day he abused her trust and cost her her future with someone she loved. And I legitimately do not care that this man is technically on the side of the ‘good guys’ and has just been ‘doing his job’, I want to see him fucking burn. And I want Thony to get to watch every moment of it and to feel Arman’s presence within her while she does, knowing that if he could see through her eyes, he'd be wearing his proudest, most vicious smile.
Watching Jorge and Thony interact vs watching Jorge and Nadia interact is honestly a bizarre juxtaposition, and I think it stems from the things that they connect over. He and Thony have connected over their kids and the challenges of being a single parent/having lost a partner, so with her he’s become more vulnerable and sincere, and seems almost bashful in the way he reaches out to her for that connection. Not to mention that the power balance between them had begun to level out even as early as 3x04, but now in the last couple of eps– first with her figuring out Dante’s betrayal and then here with the act of her saving Ramona– it has almost even started to shift in the other direction. At the beginning of the season, Jorge had all the power, and Thony was at his mercy. Then after 3x04 they moved to more even footing, with actual respect and regard forming between them. Now it has even gone slightly beyond that, to the point where Jorge looks to Thony for guidance, and doesn’t hesitate to follow her orders.
Meanwhile, with Nadia he absolutely has his bad-boy persona on (aside from the couple of moments of softness at the wake, and when he tells her he won’t let her go back to jail), because their connection is much more transactional, and is also based in their love of the business world they move in, and the power and thrill they feel when they bend people to their will. I think it’s why his scenes with Nadia have an undercurrent to them that is almost like sexual tension, yet not quite? I think it’s more a mutual ‘god we’re so hot and powerful and I want more of this feeling, and working with you will give me that’ rather than a ‘god you’re so hot and I want you’ thing (whereas obviously, with Arman, Nadia had both of those things plus more). I actually love the bluntness between them– she outright tells Jorge she wishes his sister had died lol, and he tells her he’s only working with her for her money– and honestly, that kind of openness between them about the foundation of this alliance is actually kinda refreshing haha. Ngl I do think there probably actually is a small amount of genuine regard between them that neither is admitting to– on Jorge’s part because I think he’s actually fairly kindhearted, and because she was so important to his sobrino; and on her part because he was the only one that actually comforted her at the wake and helped her since, and because he loved Arman. But still, their alliance only goes so far, and they both know the situation could change at any moment, which no doubt it will. Tbh I’m really enjoying seeing the two different dynamics of these duos and I reaaaaally want to see an ongoing team-up between all three of them, though based on the promo I think we’re out of time there :(
Loved seeing Fi using a bit of Spanish– no doubt she picked some up in the Philippines and then over so many years of working with hispanic immigrants, but it would be cute if she’s been trying to learn more lately to be able to connect with Gisele and Camila. But omg her getting into the van was such a terrible idea, yet honestly I kinda loved it bc it was such a Thony kind of move. Despite all Fi’s begging for Thony to get out of the shady world of crime, the truth is that both she and Thony are kind of suited to it, and I’m still hoping that S4 will bring us Thony and Fi and Jorge (ideally plus Nadia, but that’s sadly seeming unlikely) all working together to keep bringing people across the border for better lives, but in a much safer and more humane way than Sin Cara currently does it. It would be such a cool story to watch, given both Thony and Fi’s experiences with being undocumented/crossing the border, and it could allow for us to still get to watch Thony finding her place in the Vegas underworld; still going to-to-toe with criminals and playing cat-and-mouse with the FBI, but without her having to become unrealistically dark and engage in the actually harmful kind of crimes that would be OOC for her. Ugh I want my badass Mob Queens so bad. But anyway, tbh it was such a genuine surprise that that guy just let Fi leave the immigrant worker house without any issues?? Like not even any threats not to go to the cops? No trying to force her to stay as another trapped worker? Obviously I’m not complaining at all that she got out safely but it was just an unexpected relief given this show’s history lol
Some other stuff:
Given that Jeremy supposedly heard Thony and Fi mentioning Jorge on his cameras a lot, he should have also heard them talking about Ramona at some point, and so should have made the Ramona/Sin Cara connection a lot quicker. But tbh, him making the jump from Thony doing medical research for a woman to Ramona being Sin Cara was very presumptuous anyway; like it was just as possible that Thony was helping some random loved one for Sin Cara, rather than Sin Cara themselves. But whatever, I’m glad he got there quickly bc the less of Jeremy I have to watch, the better lol. Absolutely loved how annoyed Thony was getting with his questions and how clearly she just wanted him to go away haha. You and me both, girl.
Okay Jorge really should have known better than to basically imply to Ramona that Nadia was going to be his new business partner. He knows that she’s possessive and terrified of abandonment (tbh I still absolutely believe in that fan theory that she’s responsible for his wife’s death bc she was scared his wife would take him from her), and he knows that she has been behaving irrationally and impulsively as a result of her illness– and yet he still talks about Nadia like that? May as well have painted a bullseye on her back, the idiot. And speaking of Jorge being an idiot…. like, buddy, I like you and all, but maybe you should ask Thony for some more parenting tips because leaving your distressed five year old to cry alone in her room for hours is not really ideal parenting!
Can't believe we got another villain making Thony (semi) undress in front of them?? At least this time was far less gross than with Kamdar, but still. Dude.
Lol at the fact that every time we’ve seen Ramona or Jorge drink from a water bottle this season (and it’s been a few, especially for Jorge– they clearly like to show that he’s an active guy lol) it’s always been the typical unlabelled thin plastic bottles used in filming… until suddenly we need some kind of clue for where Gisele and Camila could be working, so we get this very pointed shot of the fancy labelled water haha. I love television. (Also damn, an additional nice touch-- there's actually a big banner advertising Bandera water up in the basketball stadium where Luca plays! Sneaky work, set decs!)
Ngl Thony’s conspiracy-theorist neighbour was actually kinda sweet… I like that he made her a cup of tea/coffee and was actually helpful and supportive even if a little bit wacky haha. And I enjoyed the writer’s clever little play with his line “Some aren’t even who they say they are. You better watch your back, you never know who’s watching” right as Thony’s seeing Jeremy on the monitor… neighbour guy might be a bit of a crackpot but he's onto something here...
So basically overall, this ep had some technical elements which were completely ridiculous and unbelievable, but who cares? It was a cool ep and it added to the story in an engaging and meaningful way, which is all that matters. Plus it's setting up for the Dark!Thony I so desperately want to see, so I loved it haha
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singlecrow · 9 months
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Hello! Two MASH prompts, if you're interested?
- Is there a vampire lose in camp? The blood supplies are disappearing. People are mysteriously weak. There might really be a vampire, or there might be a MASH-type explanation.
- It's the day of the year when the dead can speak. (Halloween, or Korean equivalent?) The camp is full of ghosts. The first year in Korea, the camp panicked. Now, they know it's going to happen and they all deal with it in their own ways. Some people leave for the day. Some have parties for the ghosts. Some talk to as many as possible. Some don't leave but are terrified still. And Radar sits by himself to wait for Henry Blake.
I'm very interested! on vampires, I love the idea - maybe the vampire is a poor unsoul like everyone else, trying to get through this world-but could not possibly improve on @amrv-5's Aspirin and Sorrow (a Non-Comprehensive List of What the Dead Don't Need). on ghosts: well I'm actually writing this one rn. not quite the same as how you describe, but almost. so rather than do it again just now let me give you an extract from that one.
--
 “Congenital abnormalities and near-death experiences.” Hawkeye pushes Sidney’s clipboard across the table so it skitters. “This is wrong. We’re doing this wrong.”
He gets up and kicks the tent pole. The blur of fog shifts in the tent, obscures coffee urns and faces. Margaret is watching Hawkeye as he crosses the space; Sidney has been doing this longer and is watching a point two feet in front of Hawkeye’s eyes. They don’t know what they can’t see. Hawkeye flumps on the bench closest to the door and says, “Hi.”
The ghost says nothing. Hawkeye sits back, trying to meet its eyes. It has sharp edges and substance, unlike the Raggedy-Ann ghosts of Hawkeye’s maritime childhood. He can tell how old it was when it died, how it died. Injuries that he sees in technicolor all day have a curious elegance in transparency; an anatomy textbook done in silver and grey.
“My name’s Hawkeye,” Hawkeye says after a moment. “Don’t look at me like that, I didn’t pick it. Guess you can’t tell me yours.”
The ghost doesn’t respond, but Hawkeye can’t shake the impression that it’s looking at him, rather than at the wall through his head.
“Look, this is a hospital,” he says. “I’m a doctor, even. If you need something—if we can help you with something—"
Nothing. The ghost is floating a few inches off the ground, and the thick fog in the tent is starting to feel populated. At the edges of the tent, he can feel that they’re all coming in: soldiers, strangers, unknown little shades who were never mourned. Hawkeye stays fast. He’s more afraid of the living than the dead.
“I can tell you my problems first, how about that,” he says, talking quickly. “My friend over there is conducting unsanctioned military human experimentation on me but we’re making it work. My other friends are either stabbing me or not talking to me. What about you? Girl trouble?”
Nothing, and now the ghosts are advancing on him. Something about his body heat; nothing to do with any words that might have crossed the gap.
“Please,” Hawkeye says, thinking of the hauntings in post-op. There are more of them all around him, thronging in a great mass of disturbance. “I’m trying to help you. Oh, God, don’t do that.”
The closest ghost is advancing on him, as though it means to take the shortest route to somewhere else. Hawkeye is on his day’s limit of acetaminophen. He backs off and scurries to Sidney and Margaret. They can’t see the ghosts in the tent but they know. “It’s time to go,” Hawkeye says, and they follow him without question. Outside it’s grim and foggy, grey clouds piling up ominously on the horizon. Hawkeye grabs the clipboard from Sidney and makes some notes on this most recent failure, and then they stand and look at each other.
“So we can’t talk to them,” Sidney says. “We don’t know why you can see them. We don’t know why there are so many of them. And you’re off ergotamine.”
“It gives me pink elephants,” Hawkeye says morosely, then pauses. His ghost has followed him. 
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snarky-art · 4 months
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if you don’t mind explaining, what are each of the specialists’ relationships with their formerly assigned winx members?
Sure!
Biggest changes out of the way first:
Musa and Riven aren’t together. They start dating near the end of s1 and then break up around 3/4 of the way into s2, basically before the big final battles are launched in Shadow Haunt. They start off a somewhat awkward friendship in s3, and after everything is done at the end of SotLK, they’re pretty solid friends.
Aisha and Nabu aren’t together ever, but fear not they’re besties.
Sky and Bloom start dating near the end of s1 and have a kind of flirtationship during s1, although Bloom takes longer to warm up to him that Sky does to her. They date through s2 and s3 and SotLK, and they’re just as messy as they are in canon. S4, it’s getting to be too much though for Bloom, especially with dealing with balancing Domino and Earth life and getting accustomed to royal life bs and learning an entire culture and history. Bloom’s still very real inferiority issues and messy relationship with her parents are present too because they have to learn who they are as individuals while also trying to overcompensate with each other, Bloom because she’s not Daphne and her parents because they want her to feel she really is their daughter and they love her even though they weren’t there for her whole life and they’re literally strangers to each other with only a blood familial tie and giant legacy holding them together, but this results in putting a shit ton of Domino Court shit on her (gotta make sure she’s included and knows they see her as their daughter and rightful heir despite everything that happened before) and it’s too much too much too much. S4 in my thing is partially Bloom running the fuck away from her responsibilities in the magical world, Domino specifically. She goes “oh I gotta go to Alfea to talk about stuff bye. Oh look, a big thing on Earth what a happy coincidence ok bye for who knows how long I gotta go-“ Her relationships are kinda strained in general in s4 since she isn’t great at handling pressure still, and Sky and her are still having the same issues of not communicating well about stuff and Bloom can’t even articulate everything rn and doesn’t know where to start and now she has to worry about potential queen regency stuff and stretching herself not only between Earth and Domino, but Eraklyon too? No, she can’t do this. She’s tired. She breaks up with him before the big final battle shenanigans and she does it super suddenly and loudly and then dips as per usual and Sky is like. “Wtf? Yo what the actual-“ They talk about it eventually near the end of s4 and Sky is rightfully miffed at how this has been handled and how Bloom is still. Running. Away. He hasn’t been the best to her he admits that but she’s also still doing the same things when backed into a corner. And that’s,, kinda the whole point. They’ve grown the most outside of each other, and then when with each other, are perpetuating the same things that are causing issues. Sky goes we could really work on it this time. Bloom says no, I’m too tired, and for once with Bloom looking at hindsight instead of thinking moment to moment for her basic non magical life stuff, she goes if we weren’t growing and trying to be better for each other the way we should’ve for 3 years, what makes this time different? And that’s that. They don’t really talk much for the first half of s5 but they still have to work together, and it’s Weird, but it eventually gets better. Bloom is trying to get better about not running, and she did enjoy Sky, just not as a partner by the end of it all, and Sky still thinks he and Bloom had some good times together and that she’s fun, so maybe they can try getting to know each other again? As friends this time. And they have a decent start to a proper friendship by the beginning of s6, ending s5 as close acquaintances. They don’t become besties or anything, but they’re close friends and they know they can count on each other.
Flora and Helia is the same as canon. They get together by the end of s2 and are adorable.
Tecna and Timmy get together in s2 and are also adorable.
Brandon and Stella get together in s1 and are the flirty fun sassy couple that everyone knows and loves.
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thegirlfromhawkins · 2 years
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House Parties w/ Eddie Munson
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I’m trying to write fics rn but i swear it’s just not coming to me but i love this hc idea. I want him so bad omfg. Also holy shit over 400 notes on my last headcanon and halfway to 50 followers! You guys are so damn amazing I’m so happy you enjoyed it!
(also got some eddie posters and a corroded coffin keychain in the mail today and I screamed, I’ll probably share the link to all that stuff cause I love supporting small businesses as I have a small business as well and who doesn’t love Eddie merch?)
Warnings : Drug/Alcohol Use
✪ Now Eddie is not the popular kid party person but he sure as hell goes to his fair share of house parties with his band friends and with people he deals too… (hey parties are a business opportunity)
✪ When you had first started dating he was a bit worried about you tagging along since he knew he didn’t hang out with the most wonderful people in the world
✪ But seeing how well you’d get along with his bandmates and how you weren’t uncomfortable with him being a dealer, he decided it was time
✪ You showed up at his trailer around nine all ready to go off on wherever Eddie would take you
✪ Both of you were excited but nervous as well
✪ It was like a big outing for you guys as a couple and you were glad that Eddie was comfortable bringing you along with him
✪ Eddie and you jammed out to some music in his room while you helped him pick out what to wear
✪ (he really didn’t need help, he just loves hearing your input and what you like on him)
✪ Around 10 Eddie finishes packing up his lunchbox and throws on his coat and vest
✪ “Are you ready darling?”
✪ “Ready as ever Eds.”
✪ Driving nerves undoubtedly arose in both of you
✪ Eddie was anxious about how the people at the party would treat you and was already preparing what he’d do if someone was disrespectful towards you
✪ Meanwhile, you were uneasy wondering if you’d fit in with everyone well
✪ It’s not like this party was a huge deal but you still cared about how Eddie’s friends or more so acquaintances would see you
✪ Just up the driveway, you see people standing outside with alcohol or a cigarette in their hands
✪ Eddie being a gentleman gives you a sweet kiss before walking around to open your door for you
✪ Walking towards the house you notice you’re catching quite a few stares but the look on Eddie’s face shows pure happiness
✪ Of course he’s happy to show his love off to everyone
✪ The first hour or so you spend getting introduced to a dozen people that you definitely won't remember the names of
✪ Eddie keeps you by his side at all times not wanting anything to happen to you
✪ As the night goes on you actually found a chill group of people you and Eddie drank with in the garage
✪ It had gotten a bit colder so you were wrapped up in a blanket leaning on Eddie’s shoulder
✪ Looking down at you he saw how comfortable and just straight-up beautiful you are to him and he can’t help but think of how lucky he is
✪ The drinks keep coming and it doesn’t take long for people coming up with games to play that probably would not make sense to any sober person
✪ You were gladly buzzed now and Eddie made sure you didn’t drink too much as well as him
✪ Come to think of it he was more like your babysitter that night making sure you were safe and out of trouble
✪ It gets rowdier and drink after drink everyone is having a good time
✪ “Y/N SPILLED HER DRINK!! That means you gotta drink what’s left in it!”
✪ “I don’t think that’s the best idea guys.”
✪ Before Eddie could even finish his sentence the drink was gone and you had a proud look on your face
✪ All he could do was shake his head and lead you inside making sure to catch you as you were trying your best to walk straight
✪ Luckily the porch outside was calmer than the garage and Reefer Rick was even there
✪ Eddie trusted him and so did you since you had gone over to his house a few times
✪ This was the only time Eddie left you, well he basically ran out to his van to get his lunchbox of drugs and made it back in impeccable time
✪ You couldn’t help but giggle at his out-of-breath state as he set the lunchbox down on the table and took a seat next to you
✪ He made a few sales out there and soon a smoke circle had started
✪ While the joint gets passed around Eddie is hesitant to give it to you since you’ve been drinking but he knows you’ll put up a fight if he says no and he really doesn’t wanna look like a babysitter in front of the whole group
✪ He just sits out smoking and watches you as you chat with the others and smile under the moonlight
✪ The night had gone better than he could have hoped and by the time it was ready to go you were almost upset because you enjoyed talking to everyone
✪ Eddie helps you out to the van and puts your seatbelt on for you after you protest that you can get it when clearly you can’t as you keep missing the buckle every damn time you try
✪ The drive home was quiet and the radio was on low volume for once
✪ He didn’t want to get you ramped up again and when he goes to turn into the trailer park he sees your head resting against the window with your eyes closed
✪ Carefully he gets you out of the vehicle and carries you up to the trailer then proceeds to open the door with his foot kicking it open lightly
✪ Quietly he makes his way to his bedroom and lays you down on his bed before going back out to grab a few things from the van
✪ Back in his room he takes off his clothes and rings watching you trying his best not to disturb your peaceful state
✪ You did have quite a long night he just hopes you don’t regret all that alcohol in the morning
✪ Putting on a band tee and keeping his underwear on he crawls next to you in his bed and as soon as you feel him hit the mattress you move over to cuddle into his chest
✪ “I love you Eddie.”
✪ “I love you more Y/N.”
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Hi Halla, I feel kind of bad doing this because I don’t want to bring negativity to you but I kind of consider your asks a safe space and I just wanted to get this thing off my chest. You don’t have to read it, I just needed to rant about this to someone that wasn’t my journal.
I’m currently in the library at my uni, skipping the first of my finals. I basically didn’t study for it and just the prospect of entering the class in which the exam is taking place makes me want to vomit. I can retake it in two weeks, but it’s not the first time this happens this year and I hate lying to other people about it, whether the excuse is illness/grieving/a bad performance, and try to shift the attention on the ones I did pass (mainly thanks to luck). My anxiety is over the roof rn and I’m trying my best to study for my other finals but I currently just want to curl up and cry. I’ve always been the golden child with perfect grades so I feel like I can’t talk about academic struggle bc I don’t want to let down others, especially my parents. It’s been a rough couple of years and I basically lost all of my close ‘friends’ and I’m embarrassed to talk about this topic with the ones I still have because they’ve always seen me as the academic weapon friend and as someone they aspire to be (academically speaking) and I don’t want to crush their vision because I feel like that’s the only remaining piece of the old me. I know it’s not a big deal and that the world has thousands of bigger problems than a privileged white girl complaining about her life but I’m so tired of failing and feeling disconnected from reality and other people. I’ll shut up now, sorry for the rant, I hope you’re having a good day Halla, you’re a lovely person.
Hey baby. 💖
I’m so sorry you are having a difficult time. I understand how you feel cuz I’m in a similar boat myself. I think a lot of it has to do with that I’ve learned from people around me that my self worth is contected to my academic performance. So sometimes I feel like I’m shit as a person if I don’t exceed academically. I know that it’s toxic and even though I understand it “logically.” It can be hard to shake emotionally. So give yourself grace. The thing is, you are the same you who succeeded before. Which means you totally have it within your capacity to do it again. But self-deprecating talk has a very real impact and it can convince even a successful person that they are failing.
There’s a book that someone once gave me. I think it’s called “Elite Minds.” I don’t really do self-help much (and also the person who gave it to me is now my ex so it’s hard for me to pick it up now lol) but it essentially argues that whatever you believe about yourself is the truth. Like it doesn’t matter if you’re some fuckin genius. If YOU believe that you’re shit, you will indeed be shit. You could be Einstein himself. But if you think you’re not going to do well on a task, then you’re going to sabotage yourself into failing.
Honestly idk how to kill the negative self-talk. Sometimes it helps to remember that there’s sooo much more outside of academia. And that smart people come in all sorts of shapes and forms. I’ve met some brilliant folks who work office jobs. And some dumbass morons who have PhDs. Your grades and your school performance don’t define your intelligence.
Hang in there 🤍 exam season is almost over. Best of luck babyyyy 🤍🤍
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rush-the-stars · 1 year
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idk what kinds horror in a/b/o you mean, but i immediately thought about the subtle horror in this reylo fic called "Until You" by ever-so-reylo on ao3 (sorry if you dont like reylo. i dont. but i recognize reylo authors can be BEASTS and i just use cognitive dissonance if i need it) where it's like.. horror in the sense of how society limits and treats omegas and it's all very normalized. like the fic describes a marriage pathway, alarms on doors, omegas cant be present to hear the results of their own doctor appointment, how not getting pregnant is reason for annulment, and so on, and it's just so wildly subtle in how horrific itd be to live like this and i think the scariest part is, in parts of this world rn, there are places where women are treated very similarly to this. it's a one-shot and not super long, and Kylo/Ben/whoever isnt a dickbag or anything, he treats Rey well, and the author is good about making a distinction between "this is how it is here" and "that doesnt mean its good or ideal or warranted" which i think just adds to the horror kinda sorta, i dunno, i could see you having fun writing about a similar kinda world
regardless, id love to hear more about how youd wanna add further horror to a/b/o, bc what i was talking about was Handmaid's Tale-adjacent (not that i like Handmaid's Tale bc the author's a fucking terf and also, m'am, that IS how the world is like for many woc in various parts of the world, it isnt "even more horrifying" having it happen to white women too jfc idk if it counts as "apocalyptic" if its happening here and now and no one seems to care tho; but you get what i mean when i name-drop it however. anyway. i digress) and im curious if you mean in a monster-fucker way or sex pollen way or what, i find the concept of a/b/o + horror fascinating so, again, id LOVE to hear more pls ♡
firstly anon thank you for coming into my inbox and taking the time to share all this with me!! it is greatly appreciated!!
now to get into this!! i’m gonna put this under a cut w some warnings just in case!!
cw: sexism, mentions of violence against women/feminist horror, reylo (LMAO SORRY), a/b/o, uh romantic cannibalism, blood
i am so sorry anon i detest reylo lol. and sorry if anyone follows me and likes them </3
also i think this is very fascinating that i mentioned horror and your mind jumped to what is essentially feminist horror! not a bad thing—just something observed!!
i personally read a lot of horror outside of fanfiction and i read a lot of feminist horror specifically. or i see or have been apart of plays/theater works/etc. that feature feminist/gender horror in various ways. i write short stories that are not fanfic about this topic as well, so with fanfic, i tend to avoid this a great deal! it’s an incredibly heavy topic and for a whole year last year, i had surrounded myself in it (and acted in shows where stage violence was enacted on me by men, acted in roles where i was often in distress because of male characters, acted in emotionally straining and difficult scenes) and realized i was actually…very drained. and learned what i liked to see in these stories and what i thought was needless violence against women reiterated again and again as torture porn of some kind. but long story short, fanfic was a reprieve of that for me!!
(i know you’re thinking—but cielo! you seem to love yandere content! and you are right! but i think all my yan content i enjoy is seeped in a warped love rather than a gendered violence. not that both can’t exist. it’s sticky.)
more than that, i am also interested in a/b/o that breaks gender constructs and dynamics in ways and is not just an afab omega enduring societal and personal violence!
the horror i was mentioning more i think had to do with body horror, possession (as in, almost…demonic. spiritual.), etc.! romance as a horror. (“but the horror? the horror was for love”)
blood lust being tied to heats/ruts. an omega, feverish and in heat, slick with blood and wild eyed. some romantic cannibalism with the way a bite is for claiming. it’s vampiric. it’s a devouring.
it’s a conjoining. a possession. two souls being forcibly twisted together. the horror of having only one true mate that you cannot choose. that is, for better or for worse, only yours. the horror of not just being yourself anymore, but someone else and vice versa. your uncontrollable “other half”.
sublime heats/ruts where you cannot tell what is real or not, shaky snapshots of mind melting ache and pain, only relieved by one person. hallucinations or ailments that come from deeply lonely and isolated omegas and alphas. nightmares when it reaches a fever pitch.
omegas with needle sharp teeth and so much hunger that need to feed and take relentlessly from alphas. omegas and alphas with eyes that glow in the dark and watch too keenly.
rituals where heats/ruts are watched, the horror of bareness and vulnerability. the horror of being an animal in a human skin. of your own desire or pleasure.
also just the horror of being dependent on someone. of needing someone so greatly you’ll be sick with it. the horror of being powerless to their love. the horror of their power over you. or yours over them.
the twisted care. i am interested in strange/more uncommon dynamics; alphas who are nurturing and motherly in awful ways. who hand feed and coddle and smother. omegas who are possessive and violent towards other alphas or omegas.
i just think there is A LOT that could be played with. thought of. messed around with.
i also think we don’t see enough historical au with a/b/o….i’m thinking also gothic-style. western man vs. nature. cowboy a/b/o…victorian…ancient civilization….etc.
anyways, i hope you don’t take this as me like scolding you or hating on what you’ve said in any way—defs not that!! i just had a different sort of horror in mind!! like i said, fanfic for me is all about romance at its core! it’s a reprieve and escape from the work and art that often is very serious and heavy (whether feminist/gender horror, capitalist horror, etc. etc.) that i usually spend my time creating or apart of in my day to day life! it’s deeply important work to me, just not something i wanna do here really!!
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writer-haley-e · 2 months
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I saw some other people doing a WIP questionnaire and I decided to join in and do it. No one tagged me to do this, I’m just doing it cause I want to.
I’m answering for my NaNoWriMo WIP (camp nanowrimo’s tomorrow! Anyone else participating?) which is a post-apocalyptic tragic fantasy where magic was released into the world causing mass death across the world. The MC, Nia, takes in a small horde of children and struggles to keep them fed and cared for while they’re also dealing with a magical world they know nothing about.
Now onto the questions:
1. What was the first part of your WIP that you created?
I first created the ending, which I can’t say without spoiling the story. But it’s a tragedy, and I thought of the ending that makes it a tragedy before any of the characters or worldbuilding or plot.
2. If your WIP was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?
I have no idea, but it’s probably be something gentle-ish that reflects the more wholesome/lighthearted bits of the story.
3. Who are your favorite characters you’ve made? Why?
I really like the main characters brother, Andy, who in draft two will be getting his own POV! I know so much more about his character than what’s currently written into the story and I love him so much haha. He’s the kind of guy who always has snacks on him, though you probably won’t notice until he starts eating them. He’s got a girlfriend and baby daughter who he’s so sweet with and I will definitely be showing more of their relationship when I add in his POV to the story. Hes an extrovert who loves to make friends with as many people as he can, and is very ambitious. He does what he can to help others, and despite some of the things he does in the story and before it, he’s a pretty good guy.
I also love two of the child characters that the main character is taking care of, too. I didn’t portray them exactly how I liked in the first draft and will be fixing that in the rewrite. I love who I’m intending them to be haha. Theyre five year old twins, named Anna and Adam, and they’re pretty much always seen beside each other. Most likely because of anxiety after losing all the rest of their family outside their older sister. Anna ends up getting a power that impacts the whole end of the story and I feel bad for the weight she has to carry.
4. What other pieces of media do you think would share a fanbase for your story?
I’m not really sure about specific media’s, but people who enjoy the genres fantasy and tragedy would enjoy it, as well as post-apocalypse fans.
5. What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?
Sticking to it to finish the first draft probably. I’m so close and I’m not letting myself put it on hiatus, especially because I really want to read the finished product. I enjoy reading my writing, but I have such a hard time finishing anything. I’m maybe 20k words away from finishing this first draft and I will get it done during camp Nanowrimo! Hopefully, at least.
6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!
There are a handful of chickens and goats, but they’re not very interesting. Just another source of food for the characters. There are mythical creatures, who may not count as animals but are pretty cool! Not to the characters, though. The mythical creatures are just more things to fear and struggle to live alongside.
7. How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)
Walking or cars, typically. It hasn’t been so long since most of the world died and the gas is still usable, so they make use of it.
8. What part of your WIP are you working on rn?
I’m about two scenes away from act 3! Probably about 20k from the end and I’m excited to get it written! It’s the part I’ve been looking forward to writing since the beginning stages of planning.
9. What aspects of your WIP do you think will draw people in?
Probably the focus on non-romantic relationships. There’s some found family as well as reconnecting with biological family and friendships and all that. The main character does not have a love story, it’s not a romance. But the connections with the other characters are very important and I hope readers will enjoy it as much as I do.
10. What are your hopes for your WIP?
I hope to get it published one day, and have some kind of audience reading it. I genuinely think it will be an amazing story once finished, and I just want a few other people to think so too.
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