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#i can sit there for hours generating these
badjokesbyjeff · 2 hours
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There were three race horses; ernie, bill, and ted. 
the three of them were good friends; they enjoyed racing each other and generally won and lost to each other equally. every evening, after the races, they went to a local bar to relax and drink some beer. they would often discuss racing techniques, their families, etc.
one season, bill wasn't doing so well. he rarely beat the other two, and was worried that he'd be sent to the glue factory if his luck didn't change. one night, at the bar, he talked with ernie and ted about it.
"you know, guys, i just can't figure it out," he said. "everything's fine at home; the kids are doing great, my wife is being nice, the bills are paid, my mother-in-law rarely visits - nothing could be better. maybe i'm just getting old. if things don't pick up soon, they'll send me to the glue factory."
the bartender, a big llama from peru, overheard the conversation. he looked around, to make sure nobody else was listening, then said, "hey, pal, i got something for you that'll make you feel like a young colt again." he reached under the bar and pulled out an unlabeled bottle of beer. "here, drink this; i guarantee you'll start winning again. come by each night for a week and I'll give you one. if it doesn't work, i'll give you double your money back!"
bill looked at ernie and ted, who only shrugged, then drank the contents of the bottle. "oh, just one thing," the llama said, "it'll make your ass itch, but that's okay; it's just a side effect. don't worry about it." the three horses stayed a few hours, played a few games of pool and darts, and went home.
over the course of the next three days, they went back to the bar each night, and bill continued the regimen of mystery beer. his racing times did improve! he was slowly moving back up in the rankings, and was soon back into the top three with ernie and ted. bill was ecstatic, and thanked the llama profusely.
"hey, my pleasure," said the llama.
a few weeks passed by, and ernie started slowing down. after losing three races in a row, he sobbed to himself, "i just don't get it. my life couldn't be better. i can't believe I'm getting old! they'll send me to the glue factory if i don't get back in the groove!"
that evening, at the bar, he told the llama bartender about his troubles, and asked if he too could try the mystery beer. "okay, but remember, it'll make your ass itch - but don't pay it no mind. it's just a harmless side effect."
"no problem. it'll be worth it to get back in the groove," ernie said.
a few days went by. ernie's ass did indeed itch, but after a few more days, his races improved, and he was back in the top three with bill and ted.
at the bar one evening, ernie bought a round of beers for all the horses, and thanked the llama profusely.
"i just can't believe how great that mystery beer worked!" ernie said. "you're sitting on a gold mine, there!" the llama said it was his pleasure, don't worry about it, etc.
a few more weeks went by, and now ted started slowing down, losing races. he, too realized that he'd be shipped off to the glue factory unless his races improved.
"say," he said to the llama one night after a particularly humiliating loss, "i think i need to try that mystery beer too. they'll ship me off to the glue factory for sure if I don't start winning again."
"no problem," the llama said, pulling out an unlabeled bottle. "here. come back every night, and i guarantee you'll be back in top form again, or i'll give you double your money back."
over the course of the next few weeks, ted's races continued to improve until he was back in the top three with bill and ernie. he pranced into the bar, full of vim and vigor, and thanked the llama profusely. "you know, my ass itches a lot; it's almost unbearable. but i can't thank you enough. they would have turned me into glue by now if it weren't for you. anything you want, let me know and i'll see what i can do."
"no problem," said the llama, "i make this beer at home using an ancient inca recipe. it's just my way of thanking my regular customers for their patronage over the years."
"i'm not kidding," ted said, "this is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. anything, you name it, anything you want, let me know, and it's yours."
"well, now that you mention it..." the llama began -
right then, a greyhound walked up to the bar. he was obviously depressed.
"barkeep, give me something strong. i'm on a losing streak you wouldn't believe," the greyhound said.
ted looked at the greyhound, then at bill and ernie, and said, "hey, look! a talking dog!"
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dreamauri · 2 days
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♪ — 𝗪𝗜𝗥𝗘𝗗 𝗜𝗡? - part two max verstappen x reader (fluff) “. . . when he wants to be normal, he can count on you, stranger.”
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“Come on, you can’t say he has so much potential!” Max miserably tried to hold in his laughs as you continued your rant about how much better Max would look if he put a little more effort or thought in how he dressed. 
“I’m honestly starting to think he’s allergic to wearing anything . . . not Red Bull related. Like even in his streams! In his home!” 
Sitting in front of his laptop with a makeshift setup in the hotel room in Japan, Max found himself unwinding from the earlier media day when he gladly accepted to join you for a game of Fifa. It wasn’t until someone brought up Lewis’ outfit from this morning did you start your little ted talk. 
“La, please concentrate on the game, we’re losing!” he couldn’t stop laughing either so your team was toast either way. 
“No, because I bet he's wearing his Red Bull shirt right now wherever he is.”
The reason why Max was no longer able to hold it together was because he was indeed in a Red Bull shirt. He might actually take you up on being allergic to anything not associated with Red Bull.
“I’ll gladly design a few outfits for him, I swear!” 
“La-” Max put his face in his hands, shoulders shaking from laughter as his screen showed the opposing team scoring a goal. The dutch would usually feel frustrated if he were to be losing a Fifa game in any other situation, but not this one with you.
He's ready to lose and lose again, even give up his title as one of the world's top twenty Fifa players if he gets to spend time with you like this, laughing and joking; forgetting the world around, so it's just you and him.
Just two people . . . being people.
★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
“Since I have no one to show, you're stuck with me.” 
It’s kind of been a routine now, having a private call after a game or upon finding spare time. You two have gotten close. You even considered “amilian” to be a close friend, per say. A close friend who you regularly vent to about work or just randomly ask riddles or dad jokes to bother.
You enjoyed his company. He was a fun person to be around. He made you feel . . . yellow in a type of way too. You never felt left out or unheard. He always had time for you, it's like you were maybe gravitating to being more than close friends . . . it's not like you can do anything about it though.
Surely people make close friends online all the time. 
You stay up on your couch, scrolling through the settings of your laptop to show and rant despite having to get up in the morning. Max crossed his legs on his chair folding his arms and watching the screen as you messed around on your shared screen.
“La, it’s late.” He’s been trying to tell you for the past 10 minutes. It’s 6:30 in Japan, 7 hours ahead of the time in Paris, where you were. 
Not that he’s keeping track of the time where you were, it’s just that you shared the same time zone as Monaco, and he only had the GMT+2 clock displayed on his home screen because he needed to keep track of his cats . . .  not too make sure you got enough sleep or anything of that sort.
“It's only 11:30,” you shushed, pulling up pinterest. Max hung his head, trying to hold in his smile. “I could put together a whole outfit that would suit him right here and now,”
“La,” Max giggled watching you actually start to search and put things together. “I’ll make a deal with you, if you go to sleep, I'll try to get Max Verstappen in baggy jeans,” 
“WHAT?!” the blond flinched at the loud noise, looking around his hotel room to make sure no one heard anything -- despite him being alone. 
“You know I work in F1 right?” Max followed up, trying to hold in his smile at your silence. “La, you forgot?!” 
“I’m sorry!” you pleaded, holding your hands in a begging motion despite him not seeing anything.
Max put his hand on his chest and pretended to be offended when he was smiling really wide to the point his cheeks hurt. “My best friend doesn't know what I do for a living,” he gushed in fake hurt. 
Your mind blanked at the title. Best friend? 
“You do know what my job is, right, La?”
“. . .” You looked away embarrassed, you’ve known the guy for how long and don’t even know what his profession is. 
Max couldn’t stop his giggles. “Go to bed, La. I’ll get Max in baggy jeans for you.”
★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
“Hey um, million?” 
“I thought I told you to go to bed?” Max chuckled, crouched in front of his suitcase, digging through it in hopes to find a pair of baggy jeans or a white shirt that he probably doesn't own. 
“I am in bed technically . . .” The blond looked over to his laptop on his desk, the call still going. “You work in F1,” Max felt his heart jump in anxiety for a second, there's no way you figured him out. 
“Yeah?”
 “Well um . . . my boss chose me to go see how things were going with McLaren at the Monaco gp,” 
The dutch perked up at your announcement. “Really? That's great!” 
“Y-Yeah, it is,” you stuttered, agreeing. you crossed your arms, looking at the email congratulating you on your phone screen. “I mean, I'm glad, this is an experience of a lifetime. I get to drag along a few interns with me as well.” Max frowned, your tone did not match with the news you were announcing.
“What's wrong?” He got up, sitting on the desk chair, looking at your profile picture, the concern was clear in voice, as if you could feel him sitting beside you on your bed and gently rubbing your back to comfort you. 
“Well, I don't have anyone to go with - the interns don't count . . . and I don't know anyone in Monaco or the attendees-- except you technically . . . I haven’t been on my own for that long before,” you sighed.
Max furrowed his eyebrows, trying to decipher what you were asking of him.
“Is it-” you cut yourself of with a sigh. “Can I hang out with you sometime? During the weekend?” Max stayed silent, feeling his heart pounding to the point he was scared the organ would explode out of his chest. 
“I mean,” Max cleared his throat to hide the crack in his voice that arose from the anxiety he was drowning in. “I’m not traveling with the team every weekend, so I'm not sure if I'm going to be in Monaco . . . I’ll have to ask my boss.” he replied quietly and slowly, trying to comfort you still. “There’s still a few weeks before Monaco, so . . . I don’t know for sure.” He whispered, scratching the back of his head.
He was digging himself a grave. Asking Horner if he’s going to be in Monaco when he is the driver and already lives in Monaco? It’s too late now to be honest about who he is, he dug this hole himself and now he’s stuck in it.
It’s not like he can be like ‘oh, yeah of course you can hang out with me. Oh, I’m Max Verstappen by the way, the guy who’s driving the best car and winning all the races, so I can get you VIP tickets and a hot lap too if you want.’
“I’ll try my best to be there,” the blond whispered. You could almost feel him brushing your hair comfortingly. “We can get ice cream or go sightseeing. I know this really good cafe you’ll like . . .” Max will just have to keep digging his hole.
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proof reading credits to the lovely and amazing @classiclitfreak <3
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samandcolbyownme · 2 days
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Summary: When reader’s sister is in town to introduce her new beau, all it takes is one drunken night for it to all come crashing down.
Pre-warning: THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN CHEATING. Please do NOT read if you are not fully comfortable with this topic.
Warnings: SMUT18+, CHEATING, Colby cheats with reader, swearing, mentions of alcohol, reader drinking, drunk reader, low key flirting, teasing, sexual innuendos, unprotected sex, rough actions, choking, biting, scratching, hair pulling, ANGSTY, cream pie, fingering, oral (f rec), period and pregnancy talk, mentions of puking, general spice
Disclaimer: I am 100% against cheating. If you cheat on anyone, you’re an awful person. This one shot is 100% fictional and for entertainment purposes only! Nothing about this is real.
Word count: 7.4k | not edited
Enjoy!
╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗
“Another one?” You laughed into the phone and your mother sighs, “Y/n, sweetie. Be nice. She seems to be serious about this one, this time.”
You laugh slightly, “Mm. I’m sure. She was serious about the last three.”
You loved Mara, your sister, but one thing about her that really bothered you, was that she cycled through guys like a carnival ride. One month she’s in love the next, no guy can ever treat her right.
Blah, blah, blah..
But you’re always there for her, so you’ll be there for her with this one, “Did she tell you who it was?” You ask as you sit up, putting your mom on speaker so you can start packing.
“No, she won’t tell me a thing. I keep asking her for things but all she keeps saying it’s a surprise. Um, she did though, at one point say that you’ll understand why it’s a surprise, but that’s it.”
You pull your suitcase out from your closet, “Hmm.” You walk back over to plop it down on the bed, “That’s so weird. I actually have no idea.”
Your mom hums, “Yeah I have no idea.” She sighs, “So your flight gets in at what time?”
“Eleven a.m. Don’t be late.” You tease and she laughs, “Six months without seeing either of my girls is like six long lifetimes. I promise we won’t be late.”
You tear up slightly at her words, “I’m so excited to come home for a little bit. I miss my mommy.” You laugh and she sniffles, “Yeah. I miss my baby girls.”
You smile and sigh, “Alright well before we get anymore emotional, I’ll see you in a few hours. I love you.”
“I love you. See you soon, baby.”
Your mom hangs up and you get to packing. You hated it, and as much as you tried to stop the habit, you always found yourself packing at one of the very last minutes.
Mara said she was talking to someone new, but was very, very vague with the details about him. No matter how hard your pried and how often you asked, she never gave up anything.
You did know one thing, though. Your sister was pretty, so you knew that who ever the poor sap dating your sister was, wasn’t ugly.
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
Your flight was getting in two hours earlier than your sisters, but by the time you make it to their house, you’d only have an hour to talk shit with your mom and get caught up on the latest hometown drama.
“No!” You exclaim as you slam your hand on the counter, “She got pregnant with her bosses baby, and baby daddy didn’t know the baby wasn’t his until the birth?”
Your mom nods, “I guess her baby daddy knew she was screwing around prior and had his mind set way before anything.”
“That’s absolutely crazy.” You shake your head and stand up, “I think Mara and her secret boyfriend will be here soon. I’m going to run to the bathroom quick.”
She nods, looking down at her phone, “Oh, they’re pulling into the driveway now.”
You nod and make your way to the bathroom. As you’re washing your hands after, your heart literally felt like it detached from inside your body when you think you hear a certain someone’s voice.
You dry your hands and crack the door, pressing your ear to the slight opening and you hear your dad laugh, “Oh, so like a real life ghostbuster.”
“I mean.” The guy you’re really listening to speaks, “My best friend Sam-“
You close the door and press your back against it, hand gripping the knob so hard your knuckles turn white.
Your heart feels like it isn’t even in your body anymore.
You had no idea how this was happening, how he is here, in your parents house with your fucking sister of all people.
Colby. Brock.
The guy in high school you thought you were going to marry. The guy in high school you snuck out to see at midnight. The guy you gave your V card in the back of your car in high school to.
Your mind was spinning. Your heart was back in your chest and racing hard.
Would he remember you?
He has to know that you’re Mara’s sister, right? There’s no way she could keep him from knowing, you’re posted on her socials.
“Y/n?” Your mom calls at the end of the hall, “Are you coming back out?”
Before you can answer, your sister yells, too, “Yeah, come give your big sissy a hug! I’ve missed you!”
You roll your eyes, opening the door, “I’ll be out in a second.” You close the door and look at yourself in the mirror. There’s no way Mara knew you dated Colby, hell. You didn’t even tell your parents.
It’ll be fine, you convince yourself, it’ll be fine. Just act normal.
You take a deep breath, opening the door. You walk out and slowly walk down the hall. Act normal, you remind yourself, standing up straighter and putting a smile on your face right beside you round the corner.
Yep. That’s Colby, and for some reason, he looked just as shocked as you felt.
Your sister pulls you into a hug, holding you tighter, which only makes you feel more guilty when you don’t drop your stare from Colby’s.
“You look so good!” She cups your cheeks, “I hope this wasn’t, too short of a notice, this was the only time I could get off work.” She steps back and moves next to Colby.
He slings his arm around her waist and you bite down on your cheek. You couldn’t lie and say that you missed his touch. You both really didn’t know what you were doing in high school, but he was still better than some of the fucks you’ve had back where you live now.
God, you wanted him bad. You knew you couldn’t have him, and that’s why these feelings were so intense, right?
You mentally shrug yourself out of your thoughts and move into the living room with everyone else as Colby, what it feels like to you, catches you up on his life.
You feel your heart racing in your chest, trying to keep that sick feeling down as you avoid looking at Colby in any certain way.
You knew if you looked, you wouldn’t be able to look away. He looks, fuck. Beautiful now. He’s tall and a lot more muscular than the last time you seen him.
He was.. dare you say, a work of art?
You knew these next two weeks were going to be hard, especially living under the same roof as the very first person you ever fell in love with.
He didn’t know you liked him that much, so it didn’t really hurt him as much when things ended - or so, it seemed like he was okay.
The last three days, you found that Mara is very, very clingy with Colby. You didn’t want to assume or anything, but you kind of thought you picked up on her doing that when you were around them.
You didn’t really think anything of it, so you just moved on from it. You called up one of your friends and planned a night out with a few of your other old friends.
“What are your guys plans tonight?” Your mom asks as she walks into your room. You sit up, looking down at your phone, “I’m actually going to get ready to go to Tayla’s here soon. I’m going out with a few of my old friends from here.”
“Aw, that’s so sweet.” She smiles, “Your father and I have a work dinner benefit thing and then we’re going out for drinks, so don’t forget to take your key. I don’t know when we’ll be home.”
You nod and your sister walks in, “Did I hear you’re going out tonight with Tayla?”
You laugh, “Yeah. I am.” You look up at her and she tilts her head, “Do you think Colb and I can tag along? We’ve been looking for something to do.”
You see your mom look from your sister to you and you nod, “Yeah, no. That’ll be so fun!” You smile, “I’m going to Tay’s to get ready, but we can all just ride together?”
She smiles as she nods, “I’ll go tell Colby to get ready.”
“I know you probably think I don’t know.” Your mom leans in and your heart drops as she whispers, “But Lesa and I have been close for years, and you know us mom.. we talk.”
You look up at her and she tilts her head, “You still like him don’t you?”
All you can do is nod, but you go right into quietly pleading and begging her not to say anything to anyone, “Please don’t say anything.” You repeat for the fourth time, “I know you said moms talk or whatever, but this.” You shake your head, “Is not for your gossip. I don’t want to hurt Mara like that.”
She brushes hair from your face and sighs, “I know how you’re feeling, sweetheart. I know I didn’t want anyone saying anything, so don’t worry.”
You look up at her and smile, “Thanks, mom..” you sigh, “I have to get my stuff around.”
She smiles, giving your head a quick kiss before she nods, “Be safe tonight. Call if you need a ride.”
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
You kept the whole thing about Colby in from everyone but your mom. You got lucky in the mom department with that one.
Getting around with Tayla wasn’t easy, mainly because she can still read you like a book, “Seriously, y/n. Are you okay?”
You lean back from putting your mascara on, looking over at her, “Yes, T. I’m good. I promise.” You look back at the mirror, “do you have that one top? The black halter top looking one?”
She nods, getting up to grab it, “Can I ask a question?” She reaches out to hand it to you and you look up at her, nodding as you take it.
She walks back over and sits down on her bed. She hesitates for a second, “Is it because Colby is here with your sister?”
You furrow your brow, “Um, no. Why would that be-“
“Because you have a history with Colby.”
You scoff, “Holy fuck. Does everyone know that Colby and I screwed around in high school?” You shake your head and look down.
Tayla moves to the end of the bed and laughs, “You told me yourself, y/n. At the senior bonfire. You admitted you were falling in love with him after one too many shots.”
You laugh slightly, “Yeah.” You nod, “Yeah, that sounds about right.” You scratch your neck and look over at her, “Okay. I’m actually glad you said something because I’ve been dying to talk about this.”
After an hour of filling her in while she got ready, she looked at you, “So he was just as shocked to see you as you were to see him?”
You nod, “He looked like I’m who he wasn’t expecting.” You shrug, “It was weird, it’s all weird actually.” You laugh and groan, “Out of all people, why him? She couldn’t have just left this one alone.”
“Did she or does she know that you and him used to..” Tayla trails off and you shake your head, “Well.. I hope not. If she did, she probably would have said something..”
Your phone goes off and you look down, “They’re ready.”
As you pull up to the house, you look over at Tayla, “Please don’t say anything about it.” She nods, “I won’t. I promise.”
You look over, your heart skipping a beat when you see Colby. His chest slightly exposed from his shirt not being buttoned up all the way. The chains that are hanging from his pants, sway with each step.
He looked so good, you were basically drooling for him.
“Hey.” Tayla nudges you, “Take a picture.” She laughs, “it’ll last longer.”
“Oh my god.” You mumble as you slump down in the seat, “Just.. put me out now.” You hear the back door open and you sit up straight, clearing your throat and your sister and Colby get in.
“Heeey, Tay. How are you?” Mara asks as she closes the door. Tayla nods, “I’m good, how are you?” Mara nods, smiling as she looks at Colby, “I’m good. So, Tayla. This is Colby, Colby. Tayla.”
Colby nods, “Yeah, I remember Tayla from school.”
Oh fuck. Your heart anxiously skips a beat.
“Wait, I know you’re from here, too. But if you went to school with Tayla, then you went to school with-“ Mara points at you and you nod, “I thought you knew that Colby graduates with me and Tay?”
“It must have slipped my mind because I graduated high school before you became a freshman.” Mara gives you slight attitude and you raise your brows, “You good, Mar?”
She nods, “Yeah. Why?”
You shake your head, “Nothing, it just.. sounded like you were coming at me for a second.” She laughs, trying to cover up her obvious jealousy, “No, it’s just a really small world, isn’t it.”
You laugh slightly, glancing over at Tay before nods, “It sure is.”
Colby knew you were talking to him.
“So what bar are we going to?” Colby asks with hopes of trying to break the tension. Tay sighs, “Well, I was thinking that we’d try a new one? They just opened one over on Saint Elm, it looks pretty good.”
“Are you talking about that bar you sent me yesterday?” You ask and she nods. You look back at them, your words almost getting caught when you looked at Colby, “Is that okay with you guys?”
They both nod and Tayla takes you guys there. You were actually relived to get out of the car and away from the clearly awkward small talk.
You grabbed Mara’s hand and pulled her back away from Colby and Tayla, “Hey. I didn’t know that you didn’t know Colby went to school with me.”
She sighs, “Y/n. Can we no-“
“No, we’re doing this now because I don’t want you to have a bad night, okay? I knew Colby from band, that was it. There’s actually someone back home that I’ve been talking to, okay. So there’s no reason you need to get snippy with me.” You laugh and you laughs, glancing up at Colby, “I just..”
She looks back up at you, “I’m not used to being with someone who’s so.. famous like Colby is. I’m always thinking that every girl is trying to get him.”
You laugh slightly, “I’m sure it isn’t easy. But it’ll get better. Colby, from what I remember from high school-“
Which is a lot more than you’re leading on.
“And from what I see on social media.” You shake your head, “I don’t think he’s the type of person to fuck you over.”
She sighs, “Thank you.” She pulls you into a hug, “Yeah, I told mom that you’ll know why I hid it, since you watch their videos and all.”
Watch their videos and all, yeah. Not like you had Colby’s dick in you first or anything.
“Oh yeah.” You turn, pulling her with you towards Tayla and Colby, “It makes sense now.” Tayla gives you guys a thumbs up, “We good here?”
You nod, “Yeah. We’re good.”
“Great, because I need a drink.” Tayla turns and walks into the bar. Mara snaps, “Oh shit. Colby.” She looks at him, “I totally forgot to ask you, would you be willing to drive us back to mom and dads?”
Colby nods, “I already planned on having to.” He smirks, looking between you and Mara. You smirk and walk towards the door, going inside to find Tayla and your other friends who were meeting you here.
You were doing pretty well at keeping your resurfaced feelings for Colby suppressed, but as the night goes on, and with help but the alcohol you keep putting in your body, your wandering eyes happen more often and you just slowly start to not care.
Everyone else was wasted, well. Everyone but Colby.
And he had his eyes on you, too.
You really did care about Mara, but Colby wasn’t helping matters with the way his pupils dilated when he looks at you.
You start thinking about how to get him alone and that’s your cue to bring up something about going on, “Alright. Once I finish this.” You point to your glass, giggling as you lean forward to grab it, “I’m.. done. I’m tired.”
“Aww.” Your friends pout, “We barely see you anymore, y/n.” “Yeah, come on stay out please.” “Please one more drink!” “One more shot!”
“Fine. One more drink.” You laugh, enjoying your friends praise you and Colby takes note real fast of that kink.
You slurp down that drink and stand up, “Alright. Who is my DD? I’m leaving.” You start walking towards the door and Mara and Tayla come running after you, laughing as they cling to your arms.
They were both absolutely shitfaced.
You were borderline blackout - anymore and you’d be a goner.
“You’re the best sister ever.” Mara slurs as she lays her head on your shoulder. You look down at her, quickly looking back to make sure Colby is behind you, and his eyes are on you.
You give him a smile and look back down at Mara, “No, you’re the best sister ever.” Tayla sighs, stopping outside of her car, “I need to go to sleep.”
You laugh, “I feel that.” You walk to the passenger side and Mara whines, “Tay.” You look at Tayla and smile, “You wanna sit in the back with Tay?”
Mara nods, her eyes closed, “I love her.”
You laugh, moving to the back door and opening, “Okay. In we go.” You and Tay get Mara in the car before you help Tay in. She pats your face, “You need to come back home more. I miss you.”
You nod, “I will come home more.” You buckle her up and shut the door, your drunkenness quickly blowing away as you get into the passenger seat.
You would have sat in the back, but you didn’t feel like moving Mara’s legs.
“Ready?” Colby asks and you nod, “Yeah, they’re good.” He puts the car in drive and starts heading back to your parents house, “Are you good?”
He asks that question a little quieter and you know he’s not just talking about the situation right now, “Uh.” You clear your throat quietly, “Yeah. Yeah.” You look over at him and he looks at you as he comes to a stop at the red light.
You looked away as you see the red light creep onto his face and you have to look away or else you’ll do something you really know you shouldn’t do.
It’s pretty much quiet, except for the snoring from the two girls in the back. They passed out as soon as their asses hit the seat.
“Did you have fun?” Colby asks, breaking the slightly awkward silence. It’s only really awkward because of who is sitting in the back. If it was just you and him, that’d be a different story.
“I did.” You look over at him, “That was until I realized how drunk these two were.” You point your thumb towards the back, “So now, I’m just tired.”
Colby nods, “Yeah. I expected to not stay out this late, but I should know by now who you guys are.” He chuckles and you scoff quietly with a smirk, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Colby smiles, and fuck. It’s insane how fast you still just melt into the seat for him.
“Party girl, y/n. Ever since high school.” He bites down on his lip and you know his mind went to that memory of you and him sneaking off at Friday night party because yours went there, too.
“You started that.” You point to him, “So, that isn’t on me.” You laugh quietly and you would have swore it was just you and him again, but the loud snort that came from one of the sleeping drunks, robs you of that being true.
“Mhm.” Colby smirks as he parks the car, “You get one I’ll get the other?” You rest your head back, closing your eyes as you prepare to drag Tay’s body into the house.
You sigh, opening your eyes to find his already on yours. You feel a heat rising in your cheeks and you nod, “Let’s get it over with.”
You get out, finding your key before opening Tay’s door. You lean over, looking up at Colby as you both lean in to unbuckle the girls.
Fuck you wanted to kiss him again - No, no.
You shake your head and lean back, pulling Tayla’s seatbelt with you. You see a slight look of disappointment on Colby’s face as you glance up at him.
Before he can say anything, you start to pull Tayla from the car, “C’mon, T.” She groans, resting your head on your shoulder.
You spin around and close the door, making sure your grip is tight on her as you walk her up the sidewalk to the front door of the house, “Alright, hey. I have to unlock the door, okay?”
Tay starts to giggle, “You do..” she pokes your cheek, “What-whatevvveer it is you got ta do.” She laughs and looks over at Colby and Mara, “MarMar!”
You laugh as you push the door open, “Oh my god.” You shake your head, motioning for Tayla, “Come on. You have to be quiet.”
“Quiet.” Tayla repeats in a hushed whisper, “Got it.” She walks in with you guiding her, Colby following with a now grumpy Mara.
She groans, trying to push away from Colby, “m-mm. I can- I can do it myself.” Colby sighs, “alright.”
You glance back, watching as Mara tries to remove her still buttoned jacket. You laugh to yourself, closing your eyes as you take a deep breath.
“Stay here.” You look at Tay and she nods, “Yes ma’am.”
You roll your eyes, laughing as you make your way to your sister, bending down to unbutton the last button on her jacket, “Alright. There. Now come on. Follow Tay.”
“Tay!?” She looks up and gasps, “She’s still here!”
You give Colby a look and shake your head as you sigh, laughing as you walk back to Tayla, “Alright, can you do the steps?”
Tay nods, but in reality, it was a dreadful, ten minute stair climb. Once you were up the steps, you kicked open the door to the room you stayed in as a kid.
Colby takes Mara to her old room and then you both eventually meet out in the hall.
You pull the door closes behind you, making sure to be as quiet as possible. You turn, freezing when you see Colby walk out of Mara’s, doing exactly what you did.
He turns, freezing when he sees you.
You kick your heels off, pushing them out of the way before you just walk past Colby and down the steps, but he’s hot on your trail, “Y/n.” His voice is quiet, “Hey. Please.”
You make your way into the kitchen, flipping on the lights above the sink, giving you more than just the moonlight pouring through the windows.
You turn, looking at him as he walks through the door, “What are we doing, Colby?” You press one of your hands to your cheek, “Y-you’re with my sister.. but th-“
You stop talking, shaking your head, “You’re with my sister.”
“But what?” He asks and you look up at him, “You’re with my sister. So, it doesn’t matter.”
“You had me first, y/n.”
His words catch you off guard, all you can manage to shoot back is a sharp, “so?”
You can tell he wasn’t sure where he was going with that either, but he shakes his head, “I knew you were Mara’s sister. I know what we have in the past, frankly.” He shrugs, “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the day we broke up.”
“The day you and Sam moved to LA.” You correct, shooting a smirk at him.
He sighs, smirking, “The day I ruined your life, alright.”
You laugh, pointing to him, “There ya go.”
He rolls his eyes, “Still the same fucking fire you had in you when you were eighteen.”
You smile, cheeks turning darker, “I’ve missed you.”
The words feel like they’ve barely left your tongue. Your voice was so quiet, you didn’t think Colby heard until you feel his hand slide over top of yours.
“I wish you knew how much I want to message you each time I see you like my posts.” His thumb brushes over your skin, “How much I just want to call you, talk to you. Catch you up on everything in between that day and now, stuff you don’t see on social media.”
You feel like you could puke.
Colby’s unexpected confession has your nerves zipping back and forth at high speed, “I-I don’t..” you sigh, trying to calm yourself down, “Colbs.”
He smirks at the nickname you gave him in high school as you try to stay focused, “I-..” you sigh, “You’re with my si-“
He cuts you off, words coming out fast, “Say the word and I’ll be with you.”
You stand there in silence as you stare at him.
You knew what you wanted to do, but you also knew that what you wanted to do, was one of the absolute worst things you could possibly do.
But, you do it anyway.
Your hand drags along the grey marbled island top as you walk around the thing that’s standing between you and Colby.
Inches from each other, you look up at him. His hand slowly reaches up to caress your face, and as soon as his touch meets your skin, that’s the last sign of gentle you saw for a while.
His hand moves down to your neck, gripping tightly before your lips were on his. Your hands work at your jeans, unbuttoning them and pushing the zipper down before your push them down your thighs.
Your hands slide up Colby’s chest, moaning quietly and he bites down on your lip.
His other hand moves to your hip, pushing you to spin so he can lift you up onto the counter. He pulls your jeans down, letting them fall to the floor and your thighs immediately divorce each other as soon as his hands lay on your knees.
His lips trail down your neck, nipping and sucking at random spots. He kisses up to just below your ear, fingers pushing further and further up the inside of your thighs, “I’ve thought about this pussy every day.”
You moan at his words and he muffles them quickly with a kiss, “hush now, baby. It’d be a shame if we got caught.”
You nod, whimpering quietly as his fingers hook into your panties and pull them aside. He grips your bottom lip with his teeth and tilts his head back before allowing your lip to gently slap back against your top, “Still wet for me?”
Colby’s voice is deep, slightly raspy, and so, so hot.
That alone was such a turn on, and right there was how you knew you were absolutely fucked.
“you know I am.” You manage to whisper out. You grab the collar of his shirt and pull him into you. Your lips press to his and you gasp as two of his fingers push into your eager opening.
“Fuck.” You whimper quietly, wrapping your leg around his waist, “Colby.”
Colby he reaches up, laying his hand on your neck, his lips meet yours once more before he leans down, throwing your legs over his shoulders and not wasting another second before plunging his tongue where his fingers just were.
He groans against you, pressing his face into your to muffle his own moans. You lay a hand over your mouth, looking at Colby devouring you like he used to do years ago.
You did feel bad, you really didn’t want to hurt Mara, but at the same time, Colby’s eyes locking onto yours as he grins like the devil just tops everything.
You reach down, pulling him up to you. Your hands move to his belt and his lips kiss any skin he can find.
You try to quiet the clanking of metal as you pull the leather through. Once out, you unbutton and zip his pants and he’s pushing them down with you.
He grips your thighs, sliding you to the edge of the counter and your legs lift up to lay on his hips as he pulls his cock from his boxers.
You watch down as his cock slides into you and Colby slaps his hand over your mouth right as you start to moan.
He pulls you closer to him as he slowly pull out and thrusts back in to you, this time, bottoming out completely.
Your eyes roll back and your nails dig into the back of his neck. You look up at him, brows burrowed as you squeeze his cock.
He groans lowly into your hair before looking down at you, “So much better than I remember.” He presses his lips to yours, moving them in sync as he thrusts slowly into you.
You moan against his lips, already feeling that band in your belly tightening, “M’gonna cum.” You mumble with your lips still smashed to his.
He nods, resting his forehead against yours, “Mhm.” He presses his lips to your slightly sweaty forehead and he brings a hand up to cup your cheek, “Feels so good, baby girl.”
You squeeze around him, and he chuckles at the indication, “Still like that, huh?” He brushes his lips against your cheek and you whimper out, “Yes.”
He smirks, “Be a good girl and cum for me.”
Your grip on him tightens, and you roll your hips forward as you moan quietly. Colby’s brows raise and he lets out a breath, “Fuck, do that again.” He squeezes your hips, “That felt good.”
You roll your hips, meeting his thrusts the best you can as your orgasm rolls in, wreaking havoc over every inch of your body.
Your legs start to shake and you bury your face into Colby’s shoulder. He slides his hand up your back, holding you close as he guides you through your high.
His following close behind.
It didn’t register until after you were redressed that he didn’t pull out, but you just shrugged it off. You wanted all the time with Colby you could get right now.
After he buckles his belt, he walks over to you, “Hi.”
You smile, laying your hands on his biceps, “Hi.”
His eyes scan your face, licking his lips as he shakes his head, “I should have just messaged you.” You nod, “I agree with you on that one..”
You laugh slightly, “Now we’re in this.. this mess..”
Colby knew you were stressing. The only thing Mara ever talked about was how special or a relationship you guys have.
He cups your cheeks, “Hey.” He makes you look at him, “Well figure this out.”
You nod, “we will?”
He nods, “We will.”
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
Since I haven’t posted much, I added a little subplot for you all 🖤 thanks for reading, I love you all so much.
A FEW WEEKS LATER
Ever since that night at your parents, you and Colby have been non stop texting, calling, talking - you’ve been basically catching each other up over things that happened within the last seven years.
Mara still doesn’t know what happened that night.
Your poor parents still don’t know about the island countertop.
You and Colby were just in your own little world for a little while.
“Fuck.” Your roommate, Jordan, groans from the bathroom, “Do we have stain remover, y/n?” You look up from your phone and close your eyes, “Um, yeah. I think there’s some on the shelve above the washer.”
You look over towards the bathroom, “What did you stain?” You laugh slightly and your smile fades as she walks out holding up her red stained pants.
“Oh, fuck. Okay. Here.” You walk over to her, taking her pants, “I’ll make you a lemon juice mixture. This just happened to me last month.”
“You and your little hacks. I’m glad we’re roomies.” She laughs and walks over, watching as you grab the lemon from the fridge.
You smile, “Right!” You grab a knife and slice the lemon a few times before you have to stop because you felt like you were going to puke.
“Y/n?” Jordan leans in, “Are you okay? You just went pale.” She stands up, “Hey.”
“Be right back.” You manage to choke out before dropping the knife and bolting to the bathroom. You slam the door shut, falling to your knees and heaving over the toilet.
You reach up, pulling down the silver handle and leaning back. You shake your head, thinking to yourself how weird that was. You’ve never gotten sick over smelling a lemon before.
Jordan knocks on the door, “Hey, you okay in there?”
You turn your head slightly, “Y-yeah. I’m good. I think I might be coming down with something.”
“Oh no. Keep it to yourself please.” She laughs slightly, “What am I talking about, I probably already have it.”
“I’ll be out in a second.” You explain to her how to apply the mixture before getting that sick feeling again.
“Okay. If you need anything let me kn-“
You lean forward, gagging as squeeze your eyes shut, “Oh fuck.” You wipe your mouth and let out a sigh. You pull your buzzing phone out and see a text from Mara.
Your heart sinks a little as you open it, Mom and Dad want us to go home at least once a month now. I guess they missed having us at home.
You let out a breath of air and rest your head back against the wall, taking a second to calm your racing heart before you reply, Sounds good to me.
You go to set your phone down but then you see the date.
Your heart starts to race again.
You quickly unlock your phone and go to your period tracker app and your heart falls into your stomach as the words in the circle read, PERIOD IS FOUR DAYS LATE.
“Oh shit.” You scramble to your feet, any feeling of sick being gone and now you were just freaking out. You wipe your forehead, washing your hands before walking as calmly as you can from the bathroom.
“I’m going to run to the store quick, pick up some juice or something, plus I need pads.” You lie, I just got my fucking period, too.”
She groans, trying not to laugh, “Oh shit, dude. Well you know what they say. Girls who hang around together a lot tend to sync cycles.”
“I blame you.” You squint your eyes, “Do you need anything?” She shakes her head, “Oh!” She holds up her fingers, “Grab me one of those coffee Starbucks frappe things.”
“Okay. Text me if you think of anything else.” You walk towards the door, grabbing your keys before you open it and leave.
You let out a shaky breath, trying not to cry as you go to your car. As soon as you get in and connect to the Bluetooth, Colby’s name appears on the screen of your car.
“Fuck. Okay.” You take a deep breath, hitting answer, “Hey, Colbs!”
You can tell he’s smiling through the phone, “What’s up, baby girl?”
You smile slightly and start driving, “I’m just running to the store, Jordan is sick so I’m going to get her some stuff. What’s are you up to?”
“Sam and I are just editing a new video and we took a break, so I figured I’d call you.” Colby yawns, “I’m so tired.”
Tired. Thats another thing you’ve been.
“I feel that. These last few weeks have been just a shit show at work.” You lie again.
You didn’t want to say anything until there was another line indicating that there was even anything that needed to be said.
“Anything in particular?” Colby asks and you sigh, “Just other people, you know.” You pull into the parking lot of the store and lean back, “You and Sam going on any new adventures soon?”
Colby chuckles, “Actually, okay. So I did have another reason to call you.”
You laugh, “What’s the first reason?”
Colby laughs, “Well, because I wanted to talk to you, hear your voice, obviously.” You laugh slightly and tilt your head, “Yeah. I needed to hear yours, too.”
“Aw how sweet.” Colby teases and you roll your eyes with a smile, “Anyway. Reason number two?”
“I talked to Sam and he thinks it’ll be a good idea if you do a video with us. Like a mini high school reunion special, Tayla can come too.” Colby says and you smile, “Yeah.” You say, totally ignoring your current situation, “I know I would and I’m sure Tayla wouldn’t say no to that.”
“Great. Great. I’ll talk to Sam and then I’ll keep you posted with the deats, yeah?”
“Sounds good, Colby.” You smile and hear Sam yelling in the background, “Hi, y/n!” You smile, “Hi Sam!”
“Alright. I’ll text you. Gotta get back to that grind.” Colby laughs, “Ya know?”
“I do. Have fun.” You smile and Colby scoffs, “I will now that you said to.”
You laugh, “Bye.”
“Bye.”
As soon as the car goes silent, tears well up in your eyes and you just start sobbing. Fuck these hormones, you think as you try to pull yourself together.
You take a few deep breaths and grab your bag and keys before walking in.
You managed to get in, grab a few things, the tests and get out. You cried the whole way home. No matter what you did, you couldn’t stop it.
Finally once you were home and in the driveway. You pulled it together, hoping you could hold it long enough.
You walk in, “Hey. I’m back.” You close the door and walk over to the counter, setting down the bags. You get the stuff out and grab the box of pads, “I’ll be back.”
You hand Jordan her drink as you walk by, avoiding eye contact because you couldn’t, not only answer, but handle a why are you crying question right now.
You sit down on the toilet, tossing the box to the floor before opening your purse. You stuffed the box with the tests in there as a way to keep your potential secret hidden from Jordan.
A few moments later, you set the stick down on the counter, covering it with the instructions because you couldn’t care to look.
You set a timer for three minutes, stopping it right before it goes off. You sit there for another second, feeling almost unable to look at it.
You muster up enough courage and pull the paper off, revealing a double lined answer.
It feels like hours pass by as you stare at the tiny oval shaped screen.
You blink, shaking your head as you pick it up, laughing in disbelief as you cover your mouth with your free hand.
You look around, eyes wide as you panic on what to do, “Mm. Fuck.” You set the test on your lap and grab your phone from the sink.
Your thumb hovers over the little phone icon, shaking like a scared Chihuahua, “Fuck.” You sigh and slowly bring your phone to your ear.
By the time your phone meets your ear, you hear Colby talking, “Hey, sweetheart.”
You break, taking in a choked sob, sniffling as you try and talk, “C-col-“ you cover your mouth, you don’t want to be loud enough go get Jordan’s attention.
The less people that know, the better.
You keep your eyes closed, listening to Colby’s soothing voice, “Hey, hey. Y/n.” You can tell he stands up and starts walking, Sam asks him where he’s going. He doesn’t answer him, he just keeps walking, “What’s going on, y/n?”
Your tear filled eyes are locked onto the two lines and you can’t bring yourself to say anything.
“Hey. If this is about us and what we’re doing I pr-“
You cut him off, “n-no. No.” You shake your head to yourself, “I-it’s not that.” You sniffle, looking up, “Um.”
“Whatever it is, I’m here for you.” Colby assures and you can’t help but laugh, still unable to believe that this is happening, even though it’s right here in front of you.
You were scared. Scared for what is going to be said about you from Mara. Tayla. Your parents.
You feel your heart rate pick up again and you close your eyes, trying to calm yourself down, but you just inevitably blurt it out, “I’m pregnant.”
It’s silent on both ends, at least for a few minutes before Colby breaks it, “Is it.. mine?”
“Yeah.” You breathe out, resting your elbow on the sink, hand on forehead, “Haven’t slept with anyone else since you.”
“Did you tell anyone else, sweetheart?”
You smile slightly as a tear falls down your cheek, “Mm. No.”
“Do you know how far along you are?” Colby’s voice is soft, gentle. He didn’t seem mad, but you felt like you needed to ask, “Probably like four or five weeks? They won’t get me in for an ultrasound until eight weeks.”
You take a brief pause, “Are you mad?”
“Mad?” He questions right away, “Why would I be mad? This is on me, too.” He chuckles slightly, “I mean, I knew I’d find you again, but I didn’t plan on having this happen right off the bat.”
“I was on birth control, I promise. I must have..” you groan quietly, “missed a pill.” You feel like you want to start crying again but Colby’s voice snaps you out of it, “Shit happens, Princess. We’ll get by. I promise, It’s okay.”
“I’ve been sitting here long enough, I think I’m going to take this other test, just to be sure.” You reach into the box and pull out the other test, unwrapping it before you set your phone and other test on the counter.
“I’m here, okay.” Colby reminds you, “I’m sorry you’re doing this alone.”
“It’s okay.” You whisper as you cap the test, setting it down, “Now we wait. Three minutes.”
After an almost quiet three minutes passes, you let out a sigh, “Okay.” You sit up, reaching for the test, already knowing what it’s about to read.
“Is it the same as the first?” Colby asks and you flip it over, taking in a sharp breath, “Yeah.”
“Okay I’m coming.”
“What?!” You lean forward, “Colby, you can’t what ab-“
“I told you. We will figure this out, and it just so happens that Sam and I have a place to investigate in Seattle, which just so happens to be where you’re living.”
“Mhm.” You smile slightly, “What a coincidence.”
╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗
Hi, hello. Sorry I haven’t been posting much. I’m currently working on giving each person their own masterlist and I have to make banners for each one and it’s just a process.
I hope this kind of made up for it. I love you all so much, thank you for reading and as always.. let me know what you thought of this!
Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!
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sub!daryl headcanons
summary. what it would be like to have a subby daryl at your hands 🥵😭
warnings. smut obviously, hair pulling, aftercare, oral (both male and female receiving), face sitting, unprotected sex, ass slapping, saliva swapping, praising, teasing, finger and nipple sucking, pet names (and a little degradation), fluff
MINORS DNI (18+), I DO NOT CONTROL YOUR CONSUMPTION ON THIS BLOG 👻
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divider credits. @cafekitsune
he will literally do whatever you say, he is just pussy whipped and a lil’ obedient when it comes to you. all he wants is for you to praise him and make him feel better, and loved. being the submissive one in the relationship makes him feel so taken care of, and it’s something he’s never had before, and he is so appreciative that you’re willing to be his care and pleasure giver
pulling his hair always has him whining desperately, especially if you’re sat on his cock or stroking it when doing so. it just sparks some kind of feral control over him, and he’ll gasp and groan and beg for more, and it’s an easy way to grasp his attention if he’s distracted by his own thoughts or current ongoings
you’d tease his swollen cock, making the archer buckle beneath you as you hovered above him, as you’d line up his cock with your pussy. to make him even more desperate and more of a whimpering mess, you’d slip just the head in your entrance, pulling it out and sliding it through your folds, repeating the action. he’d be babbling for more, hardly being able to make out words as he’s near tears
he will eat you out for hours, until his jaw is aching and cramping, it is his favourite meal, no matter what mood he’s in. whether he’s feeling submissive or just lost, he sees it as his home. he buries his face in between your legs, desperate to please you, and he’d look up to make sure that he’s doing a good job and pleasing you
when you grab his hips, he feels so small (even if there is a size difference), he’d love it. it makes him feel safe and looked after, and he knows he can rely on you, to not only subside his hunger to feel pleasure, but in general. and he is addictive to seeing whether or not he has bruises on his hips, he loves to press his fingers down on them and feel the ache above his hipbone and remember all of the things that had lead to that. you also pin him down by his hips if he acts up whilst you’re having sex or being gracious enough to give him a blow job; it’s a reminder that you’re in control, and he loves that, especially considering how often he has to take charge out on runs with some of the idiots that have joined your community
it’s dirty, he knows it, but he loves it when you brush your fingers or one of your thumbs against his lips, sliding them in past them and ordering him to suck them. sometimes you’ll push them in farther, forcing him to gag on your fingers and he loves how breathless it makes him, and he can physically feel the tears prick at his eyes
if he’s a good boy, which he tries his best to be, you’ll comb your fingers through he’s hair, whether at the time he’s giving you oral or is laying on your chest after an exhausting session together. he loves to use your tits as a pillow, no big or small they are, and if he’s dazed or just feeling needy, he’ll begin suckling on your nipples, not only because he wants to but he knows that you’ll play with his locks
there are a fair few positions the two of you have tried, but you always end up going back to the same two that make you feel closer. cowgirl is the most often, where he can see your tits bouncing in his face and he can bury it in them, sucking on your tits and drooling from the pleasure, muffling his moans in your womanly globes. reverse cowgirl makes him feel so light headed, where he can see you using his fat cock, and you dig your fingernails into his legs causing him to whimper. if you’re in the missionary position, he’ll chortle in bliss, pounding in you as fast or slow as you want him to
kind of a repeat, but he loves loves loves to be praised, it makes his chest feel full of pride, and his stomach swarm with butterflies. phrases like ‘good boy’ make him feel appreciated and encourages him to keep up his good work. ‘dirty redneck’ is a term you save for when he’s practically salivating and unable to keep his hands from touching you. it makes him even harder than before, and it turns him on when you slap his hands away
bruising kisses that take his breath away are a must, he tries to kiss you more when his eyes closed, and although he should have realised that you’d have pulled away as you often do, he opens his eyes with annoyance, it’s as though sometimes you encourage his brat attitude . and so you bite his lip, nipping at it as though you’re threatening to draw blood
you cherish him all, and if he’s feeling particularly insecure, you’ll show adoration for his entire body, including his scars. you’ll lay him down on the bed, his cock pressing achingly hard into the sheets as you flutter kisses across the permanent lines in his back. whether they’re old or new scars, you’ll show love to them all the same, telling him how beautiful he is and how you are so lucky to ‘have a good boy like him’
it’s a reward, and he knows it. although he can’t help himself from acting like a starved man if you sit on his face, he’ll devour your pussy, wanting to taste you for as long as you allow him to, eyes flittering between your perfectly rested mound and your face, which is either unfocused and thrown back in pleasure as you use him, or glaring with integrity down at him, which would make his cock twitch with anticipation
if he’s feeling a little risky he will begin grabbing your hair, although he knows that he has been taught better by you. he’d earn a slap on the hand, or you’d curl your fingers tightly around his wrist with a vice grip, and he would freeze. and so in response you’d tease his cock and grasp the base of it tightly, causing his breaths to become stuttered
at times when he’s cock is filling you up amidst your instructions, your reach down and fondle his balls, playing with them to cause him to thrust in surprise inside of you. again, it was just another reason for you to scold him, and you’d grasp his ass cheek, slapping it, and although he tells you he despises it his lies slip through as he moans in pleasure
he was is thirsty submissive, and he’ll open his mouth before you’ve even asked him to, awaiting for you to spit in his mouth. and you would, and he’d hold your saliva inside of his mouth until you commanded him to swallow. he’d be on his knees with an open mouth, just patiently waiting because he knows you can’t say no to that particular desire of his
when you’re feeling horny, you’ll take him as you please. you’ll shove him against walls, on the bed, or any surface that will do. you’ll pin him wherever, just so you can feel in control of something. he knows to oblige without refusal then, even if it makes things difficult, such as when you caress his jean clad cock whilst you’re seated behind him on his bike, and he has to pour all of his focus into not veering
caressing his cheek after he’s cum is almost like a ritual, his cheeks are flushed from the heated blood that has become pigmented on his face, as he huffs to catch his breath. he’ll go all dosey, as he leans into your touch, although he always holds off from cumming until you tell him to
he’s a moaner, shattered versions of your name will escape his lips. hell even mumble it when you’re in the shower, the spray of water falling on you both, even if you aren’t having sex in there. you’ll douse him in body wash if you were lucky enough to find some on a run, rubbing his chest and back and removing the sweat that has smothered his body. and you’ll gently clean his cock, causing him to heave out high pitched whimpers from the overstimulation but he loves it
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scoonsalicious · 22 hours
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Unwanted: Chapter 29, Unarmed, Redux - Pt. 4
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language,
Word Count: 741
Previously On...: Steve made some confessions.
A/N: Finally, resolutions!
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You sat there, staring off into space for several moments. You couldn’t believe that had just happened. Was there no end to the number of times a super soldier would betray you?
Bucky cleared his throat after a few silent minutes. “I’ll… I’ll leave you alone now, doll,” he said. “‘M sure I’m one of the last people you want to see right now.”
He made to leave, but you called him back. “Buck, no,” you said. He turned around and looked at you quixotically. “Stay. We’re not done.”
He swallowed, then nodded, coming back to sit in the armchair next to your bed. “Yeah, okay,” he said. 
“Did you mean what you said,” you asked, looking up at him. “Back in Atlantic City? When you said you were self-sabotaging?”
Bucky narrowed his eyes at you in confusion, as if that was the last topic of conversation he expected you to bring up right now. “When, uh… when you broke things off, for good, after Russia, I started seeing Raynor a lot more frequently. Like, two hours a day, every day,” he offered. “I needed to understand why I kept ruining things, especially when you make me so damned happy. It didn’t make sense to me.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, didn’t make much sense to me, either,” you told him with a smirk, but he didn’t catch it.
“She told me, and I’m paraphrasin’ here, that, despite all the progress I’ve made, I still haven’t forgiven myself for the things I’ve done as the Winter Soldier,” he said, fidgeting with his metal fingers. “And, because I haven’t forgiven myself, I can’t see myself as being worth being loved, being happy. So, I did things, behaved in ways that proved I shouldn’t be. Like a, uh… ‘self-fulfilling prophecy,’ she said.
“She said that I created a loop, a cycle, where I kept makin’ fucked up decisions because I kept expectin’ to fuck up,” he continued. “Like, of course I hurt you, because I was scared of hurting you, if that makes sense? She said Carthage was like a mirror. When I sought validation from her, I was really seeking it from myself. I don’t necessarily know if I buy that,” he chuckled humorously. “Feels like it lets me off the hook too easily, but the doc seems to think it makes sense.”
You nodded, considering his words. “I thought you said she was a shitty quack,” you said after a moment. Bucky looked at you questioningly. “I did.”
“Sounds to me like you owe her a ‘thank you,’” you said, smiling at him. “What did she tell you to do about it?”
Bucky shrugged. “She called me a fucking dumbass, to start. Told me real love isn’t about whether or not you think you’re worthy of someone; it’s about working to be worthy of someone, to keep striving to be the best version of yourself for them. She said I needed to learn how to be honest, with you, and myself, to let you know when I’m struggling, to open up so we can help each other carry our burdens, and not hide mine away because I’m afraid.”
“She sounds a lot smarter than you’ve ever given her credit for,” you teased gently.
Bucky snorted. “Never let her hear you say that,” he said. “I won’t hear the end of it.”
“Can I ask you a question?” he said, after a moment of silence. You nodded. “Did you mean what you said, in front of Carthage, that you wished we could start fresh? Build something new? Something better?”
You nodded again. “With my whole heart,” you told him. 
Bucky seemed to take a moment to contemplate your words before he stuck out his hand. “‘M Bucky,” he said.
You scoffed playfully. “What the hell kind of name is ‘Bucky’?” you asked with a grin.
“I dunno,” he said with an answering grin of his own. “What the hell kind of name is Pocket?”
You grabbed his outstretched hand and pulled him to you, slotting your mouth over his and feeling his smile against your lips. “POCKET!” you heard Tony shout from behind the closed door. “He’s been in there long enough! The people demand to know! What the ‘F’ Is It?”
You and Bucky broke apart from your kiss, foreheads pressed together as you both laughed. Yeah, you thought with a smile, the two of you were going to be okay.
<- Previous Part / Next Part ->
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nakunakunomi · 1 day
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Hi babbeee! For your awkward event... how about 10, 12 or 14 woth Sanji? I think that would be funny uwu thanks and enjoy writing! ❤️
henlo my love, I come here providing you with a little Snooj on this rainy day. I hope you enjoy <3
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☁️ Pillow talk event - Masterlist ☁️ Prompt: “I’m awful at pillow talk, so… can I interest you in some food?” Character: Sanji (OP) x GN reader (no pronouns or genitals mentioned) ⋆˖⁺‧₊☽ Suggestive content | Minors DNI | Fluff ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
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It was almost silent in the room, save for the sound of your heartbeat, still rapidly whooshing through your ears, and the pants and heavy breaths that were by now slowing down and evening out. You were laying on your back, hands behind your head on the pillow as your chest heaved with your breaths. 
You felt the bed next to you shift a little as Sanji got up, and you lifted your head to get a nice view of his back, still glistening with some sweat after the hours you had spent together in bliss today. Every single time you thought you both were spent, he coaxed one more climax out of you. Sanji was nothing if not generous in the bedroom, but all the passion and vocalness from just a few minutes ago seemed to have disappeared, as you saw him reach over to grab his pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He was quiet as he lit one, blowing the smoke away from you, towards the window. 
Neither of you made any further moves, nor did anyone speak up. You felt some type of awkwardness creep in, as you opened your mouth to say something just to fill the silence. Nothing more than a stutter left your lips though, as you couldn’t find the right words to say. 
‘Thank you for all the orgasms?’ No- horrible idea. That made it sound as if it was a service, almost. ‘That was really good?’ Well you had said that already in the heat of the moment, before your first break, when you initially thought it was over. 
Maybe you should just- 
Your train of thoughts got interrupted by Sanji shifting again, stubbing out his cigarette and putting it to the side. Then he cleared his throat, finally speaking up, and immediately diffusing the tension that had slowly been building up. 
“I’m awful at pillow talk, so… can I interest you in some food?”
You chuckled in response, feeling a little lighter with the awkward atmosphere dissipating. You sat up, leaning over towards him sitting on the edge of the bed, and pressed a kiss to his exposed shoulder.
“That sounds amazing”
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eggyrocks · 19 hours
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80 with kenma please :3
:3
500 follower special: #80 “How can you think I’m anything but hopelessly in love with you?”
kenma x gn reader, probably ooc kenma, insecurities, hurt/comfort, very light angst, not proofread written content masterlist
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It's easy to love Kenma. It's harder to be loved by him.
They've learned over the years that he's not loud with his love. He shows it in little ways, unrecognizable unless you know him. He can sit with them for hours in complete silence, preferring their quiet company to being alone. He buys them small, frequent gifts, presenting each one to them without much fanfare. He lets them wear his hoodies. He's upfront and direct about his relationship status when interested fans question him about it. Kenma's attentive. Loyal. Dedicated.
But Kenma's not the grand gesture type. He doesn't vocalize his love often. He's not generous with physical touch. He likes to sleep soundly on his own side of the bed. He prefers relaxed nights in to extravagant dates. They know he loves them. He's told them so many times, in his own way.
And most of the time, these things don't really bother them. But sometimes, they start to add up, and even though they don't doubt that Kenma loves them, they start to feel like maybe he doesn't really like them.
It's been a long day. Work was difficult and long and taxing. Little things went wrong, and they added up. Small mistakes at work. Tripping on the train. Cracking their phone case. Kenma not responded to their string of texts. Burning their dinner. Cat puke. A headache. Kenma' silence.
It adds up.
And after they had cleaned up dinner and settled back down on the couch beside Kenma, he didn't acknowledge them. He didn't look up from the game in his hands.
And that was just sort of it for them.
They pulled their knees up into their chest, knotted their hands together, and let the thoughts run wild. Because Kenma's hardly spoken to them all day, and is it really that taxing for him to talk to his partner? Do they just not matter as much to him anymore?
It sort of feeds into itself, this sort of thinking. Sour thoughts spread and they can't stop the flow of emotion that makes their chest tighten and their eyes prick.
They press their face against the tops of their knees, trying to make themselves as small as they feel. And they're so caught up in the cyclical sort of thinking they don't notice when Kenma glances up at them from his game, or how the sight of them like that makes him abandon it at once.
So they don't expect it when his arms go tight around their curled up form, pulling them into his lap. "Tell me what's wrong," he says, voice hushed, not urgent but not uncaring.
All they can offer up in response is a shrug, not quite able to form the words. They focus on holding in their breaths, and keeping their eyes dry.
"Take your time," Kenma says, and does not move. He stays there, still and steady, cheek pressed to the top of their head.
A tear spills, and now they feel so stupid. Because of course he loves them, and they shouldn't be expecting more.
They inhale sharply, and try to steady their breathing before they speak once more. "It's dumb, and I know it's not true, but sometimes I can't help but feel like you don't like me," they admit, rushing through the end of their sentence once their voice starts to waver.
Kenma stills. “How can you think I’m anything but hopelessly in love with you?” he asks, and he doesn't say it with any particular passion or intensity. He's not mad or incensed. It's just a question Kenma doesn't know the answer to.
"I dunno," they mumble. "It doesn't bother me most of the time. But you're not an overly affectionate person, you don't always want to talk, and that's okay, I just," the strop, and exhale through their nose, "get insecure without that, sometimes."
It feels wrong to say it out loud, and when the words leave their tongue they almost wish they could take them back and reshape and rearrange them. Kenma doesn't move for a moment, but once he does, he lifts their hand and uses it to smooth out the top of their. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way," he says. "I can get stuck in my own head sometimes, I don't mean to make you feel neglected."
"It's okay, Kenma," they say, and it already feels like some of the weight's been relieved from their chest.
"No it's not," he's quick to counter. "And you don't have to feel bad for wanting affection from me. Especially when it's something I want to give you."
They sniffle, and lean up against him, head resting on his shoulder. "I love you," they tell him.
"I love you," he says, voice now firmer in the declaration, and he places a kiss on the top of their head. "And I like you a lot, too."
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an: THESE ARE TAKING ME FOREVER IM SORRY also this one was bad lmafo im so sorry
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beetheweezarddd · 1 day
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im kinda bored so i wanna give yall my personal Nezha headcanons (involving romance)
🪷 is an angry pissbaby and LOVES going on extremely long rants about his day, and appreciates it when you comfort him and/or encourage him in his tea spilling
🪷 he doesn’t dislike PDA, but gets adorably embarrassed and irritated when you or others point out his blushing
🪷 enjoys talking about or showing you his work, willing to take HOURS explaining the nuance of whatever the fuck he does (also enjoys going on long tangents about his interests, such as operas)
🪷 is much more productive when you’re watching him work or just sitting there with him, because he wants to impress you
🪷 is at first extremely flustered and surprised by your first few instances of flirting, but will later surprise you by attempting to match your confidence
🪷 is naturally competitive in general, he WILL constantly try to be better than you at showing affection, doing chores, and making the other blush.
🪷 as he gets used to the relationship, he becomes naturally more playful and flirty with you! (he still remains a flustered and angry little bitch when you’re the one doing it)
🪷 he secretly loves it when you humor him and play along with his competitions
can yall tell im lonely orrrrrr
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I have a Adam x lute x Reader idea
What if they played a card game (like uno) or just a game in general but whenever someone loses they have to take off a piece of their clothes but then lute and Adam team up to make the reader lose almost every round then they play with the prize 🤭🫣
I thought the idea was really cool and had to write it straight away. Hope you like it
Warnings: Language and Smut a lot of it , MDNI
Masterlist
Dating Adam and Lute
PLAYING GAMES
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‘Snacks?’ ‘Yes’ ‘Pillows?’ ‘Yes’ ‘Drinks?’ ‘Yes’ ‘Games?’ ‘Yes’ ‘Adam?’ ‘Should be here in a minute’ Lute nodded in satisfaction and turned to Y/N. She had coerced the arms into helping her set up the game night. Y/N didn't complain though, at least she got to spend more time with her friend. At last Adam and she had more than just a few hours a day to spend with her. Sera was always hogging her and forcing her to do chores. Sometimes she felt really neglected.
The door of the three's flat was flung open and Adam stomped in with a pizza box in his hand. ‘I've got the goods ladies,’ he said and winked at Y/N. She giggled slightly and held out her hands. ‘Nah, you'll eat it by yourself later’ he said and kicked his shoes into a corner. He took the pizza and put it on the table where everything was already ready. ‘So can we get started?’ ‘Yes we can, we were just waiting for you Adam’ Lute said and sat down opposite him. Y/N grabbed one of the cushions and sat down at the table too. ‘What do we start with?’ ‘Strippoker’ Adam said and Lute rolled her eyes. ‘No’ ‘Mano then something else with cards. I want to play cards!’ They discussed for a short while and then decided on a game. They played a few rounds, ate, drank and talked about their day. Y/N couldn't imagine anything better at that moment. Quiet moments like this were far too rare with the two of them
‘The game's getting boring, let's make it a bit more interesting,’ said Adam, stuffing a few crisps into his mouth. ‘Let me guess, you want to do your usual stupid things again?’ asked Lute, grinning slightly. She too found such moments with her lovers relaxing. ‘Fine,’ said Y/N. After all, it was always fun when the situation got spicy.
Lute lost the first round. She took her socks off and Adam just rolled his eyes. Adam lost the next two rounds and was sitting in front of them in just socks and boxers. Y/N soon followed his example and was also only wearing underwear. ‘Damn Lute how do you always do that?’ ‘Well, I'd say it's easy to do’ She brushed her hair back slightly and scrutinised Y/N intently. That could only mean something good, Y/N thought, and she sat up straight to show off her bust. Maybe she could make Lute lose today.
Y/N stared at her cards in disbelief - she had lost again. She only had one piece of clothing left. Her tactics had not worked. She sighed and stood up. Slowly, she pulled down her panties and bared herself to her two lovers. ‘I don't want to play anymore,’ she said and pulled a pout. ‘Tough luck but me,’ Adam said and stood up as well. ‘Still, I must say the prize looks pretty hot, doesn't it Dangertits?’ Lute nodded. ‘We really deserve it’ ‘WE?! Have you been playing together again?’ Lute smiled innocently at her. ‘Yes, at least it's fun to have you whimpering among us’
The two of them had tricked her again. She rolled her eyes and Adam put a hand to her cheek. ‘Kitten you have to be able to lose’ before Y/N could say anything back, he put his lips on hers and massaged her mouth. That idiot, why is he so good at it? How could she be mad at him? He put a hand on her waist and pulled her closer to him. She didn't even hear Lute walk away to get something. Adam's hand wandered down to her bum and massaged it lightly while their tongues engaged in a battle she was only too willing to lose.
Adam only broke away from her when they both heard a low growl. Lute apparently wanted to have fun too. She immediately took Adam's place and kissed Y/N. She held her close to her and stroked her spine. Goosebumps spread across Y/N's skin and a familiar heat spread through her belly. If Adam kissed her like a man, then Lute kissed her like a god. She could go on like this for hours.
While she was busy with Lute, she felt Adam spreading a little lubricant on her. At least they weren't going to hurt her today. That was good, because she was still a little sore from the last time. Adam pushed a finger inside her and she moaned into Lute's mouth. She pushed against his fingers and the heat in her belly continued to spread and seemed to take over her. He slipped another finger inside her and stretched her a little. Y/N reached for Lute's trousers. She needed more physical contact and the light-haired girl still had far too much on.
She briefly detached herself from her and got rid of her clothes before Y/N would tear them. Adam pulled his fingers out of her and slowly began to push his dick into her. She hissed slightly. The stretch he created inside her was heavenly. Lute pulled her back against him and Adam took this as an opportunity to push himself deeper into her. She was trapped between her lovers and yet felt freer than ever. She let her hand wander to Lute's breasts and began to play with them while Adam thrust himself into her. ‘Fuck,’ he grunted, digging his fingers into her hips. ‘Do you always have to be this tight?’ She nodded and kissed Lute's neck. Lute kept stroking her head and mumbling something about ‘good girl’ Y/N let her other hand wander between Lute's legs and began to play with her. She was so wet for her. She always seemed so hard on the outside but she could be different. She slipped a finger inside Lute and gasped as Adam increased his pace. ‘More’ Lute demanded and Y/N had difficulty obeying her command. However, she slipped another finger inside her and matched Adam's pace. Soon the three of them were a ball of body parts and moans. Y/n climaxed a few times, clawing at one of them in the process. How did they manage to get her to give herself to them every time? A few hours later, Y/n slumped down and pressed herself against Adam's chest, who laughed lightly.
‘Fuck that was good’ Adam said and Lute nodded. ‘Another round of cards’ ‘Yeah’ This was going to be a long night.
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mysticwolfshadows · 3 days
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Taken - Zutara - Part 8
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When Katara wakes, she feels sick. She doesn't know if it's because of hours of continuous healing, or because of the dark dreams that swam through her mind. Dreams of Zuko waking, only to blame her for his banishment, to curse her name as he has her tossed from the ship.
When she wakes, she finds neck aching, her legs sore. Slowly, she stretches, rubbing the itch of sleep from her eyes and turning to her patient, her friend. Zuko is still asleep, his features relaxed and breathing even. A blanket had been tucked around him, and her coat draped over her. She reached over, lifting Zuko's blanket to peer at his wound. Still pink and raw, but no signs of bleeding. She hadn't failed.
She could faintly hear voices in the hall, and slowly stood. The walls of a ship were thick, and for her to hear anything, whoever was speaking had to be quite loud. Any louder, and they could wake the sleeping Prince.
Opening the door, her gaze landed on her father and Iroh, the former falling immediately silent. Her father looked at her with worry, but she only gave him a cold glare in return.
"Prince Zuko needs his rest," Katara said, voice as firm as the ice she wields. "You're shouting does not help with that."
"I just wanted to check on you," her father said. "The general was refusing me entry."
"As he should." Turning Katara gave Iroh a slight bow. "If you would, General, could you stay with Prince Zuko? I need a word with my father." Iroh gives her a bow, moving towards the door. She reaches out a hand, making the man pause in surprise. "And General... When he wakes, I will be informed. Immediately."
This time, Iroh's face twists with guilt, and he bows his head deeply to her. "Immediately, Princess."
Katara waits until the door to Zuko's room is shut tight before turning to her father. "General Iroh is fully aware that I need to be able to concentrate when healing wounds so deep. He is also aware that I need to rest after healing something as lethal as that. So please. Tell what you could possibly need from me right now?"
Her father was visibly surprised. He took a step back, putting distance between himself and her stern gaze. "You... You came onto the ship so quickly. As if it were natural for you. I just... I wanted to make sure that you could leave. That you weren't... taken, again..."
Taking a deep breath, Katara turned towards the galley. She vaguely remembered where it was. "I need food. We can talk while I eat."
Her father followed her, eyeing each soldier they passed. The soldiers eyed them both in turn, but didn't stop them. When they arrived, the cook passed them trays of food. Her stomach growled as she breathed in the warm scent of spices and herbs. Two dumplings, rice, gruel, salted vegetables, and some sizzle-crisps. She could see a few bottles of spices and oils on the benches. Perhaps a bit to eagerly, she took her tray to sit at the end of a bench. Her father followed, looking a bit dubiously at his own tray.
"Zuko became a dear friend to me while I was in the Fire Nation," Katara says as she stirs a few spices and oils into the gruel. She takes a bite of a dumpling, trying to hold back excited squirms as she tastes a seasoning other than sea salt. "He's the one that brought me home. So you don't need to worry about him just taking off with me." She didn't voice her suspicions about his banishment, but there was something else that needed to be said. "But... Dad, I don't belong here."
Her father frowned, having only poked at the foreign food before him. "Of course you don't belong on this ship, Katara. You belong with the tribe."
Taking a deep breath, Katara shakes her head. "Dad... I don't belong in the tribe." Before he could argue, she raised a hand. "I'm not saying I'm leaving. This is... my home... But I'm... Different. I spent a long time in the Fire Nation-"
"Three years is not a long time!"
"Nearly four," she corrected, poking absently at her gruel. It was a familiar dish from the palace. It was nice to have it again. "And that's a long time when you're eight."
There was silence for a moment, before her father spoke quietly. "Are you going to ask them to take you?"
Katara took a breath. "No. Not... Not yet. There's a chance that I can... become a part of the tribe again. But that will take time. I'd like to at least ask for a few things. Spices, for one. Some materials, if they have any."
Her father eyed her tray, then his own. He took a bite of a dumpling, as if to see how good it could be, only to cringe at the taste. His surprise was clear. "You actually like this?"
"A lot," she said. "Eat the rice and gruel plain. They made plain so people can add their favorite spices and sauces."
Her father follows her direction, blinking at the taste. He watches as she eats her own heavily spiced gruel. "I noticed you weren't eating much... Is this why? Our food is to..." He trailed off.
Katara smiled weakly, which was answer enough. As she finished, she noticed a few small injuries amongst the soldiers sitting across the room. They were whispering, glancing at her. With a glance at the door, making sure that Iroh hadn't sent for her, she gestured for the men to come forward.
The first to move was someone she sort of recognized. He'd been holding the coat Zuko had given her after she woke. He had a wrap around his arm, which covered a series of unusual welts and punctures. Leeches, apparently. With a bit of fresh water from the kitchens, she soothed the bites until they were nothing more than specks. It set off a wave of soldiers coming forwards, lining up for simple healing.
Her father watched on, watched as each soldier bowed their respects, some even giving her some of their own breakfast. There was not a one that hesitated to come forward for her help after the first. There were no hasty retreats, no nervous twitches at each move she made. She knew that her father would notice the difference from these Fire Nation soldiers and the people that were supposed to be her tribe.
In the end, her impromptu healing session was cut short, the medic puffing into the galley. Immediately, Katara stood, giving the soldiers a polite bow. Every single one returned the gesture.
"The Prince is awake," the medic said, even as Katara started to move past him. The man scurried after her, her father a few steps behind. "But he is speaking with General Iroh, and-"
Speaking was to gentle a word. The slightly ajar door of Zuko's room let her hear his voice as it bounced through the metal hall.
"Uncle!" he was shouting. "I told you I didn't want to-"
"You needed healing, Prince Zuko!" Oh, dear. Even Iroh was shouting. "I could not lose you. We had nowhere else to go, so I came to the one person I knew could heal you. Princess Katara-"
There was a flash of fire, and an enraged shout. "You know I don't want her here!"
Katara felt her chest grow painfully tight. Zuko didn't want her here. Perhaps she had done something. Perhaps he had been punished for removing her from the palace. But the least he could do was tell her that to her face. And that very thought left her blood boiling.
Throwing open the door, she marched into the room. "And tell me, Prince Zuko, why is that?"
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whatsnewalycat · 1 day
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Rules: List 5 topics you can talk about for at least an hour without any preparation. Tag others to find out their topics.
Thank you for tagging me @party-hearses & @imaswellkid & @frannyzooey 🖤🖤 This is by no means an exhaustive list, but:
1. My Chemical Romance
2. Institutional racism (specifically in the US, although a bitch can ramble for days about ‘the war on drugs’ and its disproportionate impact on ppl of color worldwide)
3. The military-industrial complex
4. Horror as a genre
5. Movies—for real I could sit and chat about movies for hours and hours and hours and hours (can you tell I used to work at a video rental store lol it’s my comfy topic)
Backup topics include, but are not limited to: writing, pedro, intersectional feminism, why the American criminal justice system is downright fucking evil, drugs, capitalism, colonialism, spirituality and religion, ghosts, queer stuff, health insurance, mental health and mental illness, cryptids, general occult things, bo burnham, glass animals, succession, the leftovers, etc etc etc as you can tell I could ramble about a million things
tagging: @pennyserenade @wannab-urs @chronically-ghosted @sp00kymulderr @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @wildemaven @whataperfectwasteoftime @all-the-way-down-here @littlebirdsbookshelf @yourcoolauntie @for-a-longlongtime @schnarfer
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youre-dreaming-302 · 3 months
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You’re Dreaming 302 (ps2) - 2003
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 6 months
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The indescribable tension between an overworked and underpaid smut writer, and his biggest fan hater.
(for @frummpets)
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egophiliac · 6 months
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Is there any indication that Fellow Honest has a limp like the original Honest John?
I don't think so? but we haven't actually seen him walk or anything (the sprites just zwoop around the screen like everyone's on skateboards), so no indication he doesn't either! no reason it can't be headcanon. :D
the first part of the event was pretty much all setup, so we still don't really know anything about him or Gidel at this point! we might learn a bit more when the next part comes out tomorrow (but more likely it'll be in part 4, maybe some crumbs in part 3 if we are lucky) (I am expecting part 2 to be standard "walk around and look at stuff and talk about it forever" event filler with perhaps a dramatic cliffhanger to hook us for next week) (but who can say for another...checks watch four and a half hours, wow, that next part really snuck up huh)
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angelsdean · 6 months
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tv shows NEED to have 22 episode seasons with filler eps that range from "good and fun!" to "ohhh my god ur wasting my time get back to the plot!!" and be kinda shitty and low budget but full of heart on a network hanging together by shoe-strings and duct tape, is the thing. and they need to air week-by-week over the course of like 6 months to build suspense and engaging, invested fandoms. kids these days with their netflix-8-episode-binge-in-a-day streaming shows don't Know
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There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.
#I think also because I'm a very nostalgic person - THOUGH not in the way that somep poeple mean when they say nostalgia because I've realiz#ed that to some people apparently it means like.. more of a sad emotional thing? Or when I talk about being nostalgic they say 'me too' and#then describe how they're always depressed dwelling on the past wishing they could revisit it and replaying it and feeling sad and etc.#Whereas for me - it's not in a deep or emotional way at all. It's very detached - kind of like someone who is doing like a scientific#cataloguing of something? I don't feel any remorse or sadness or longing or sitting there sobbing for hours over people/pets I've lost or#etc. It's more like a fun contemplative excercise and extension of self analysis plus just documentation. Like I know your memory fades as#you get older OR even as stuff is actively ongoing humans have terrible recall - even the ones who are less emotional/more focused on#accuracy our minds still twist things or etc. SO I looove to have documentations of everything possible so that in the future I will have#as full and complete of a view of myself as I possibly can. sure the image will undoubtedly be a little distorted but having real evidence#of how something was at a time is very valuable. You look through old messages or letters or something and you always find other alternate#versions of yourself. Not in a worse way like inherently inferior Previous Models Of You who haven't yet been perfected but even just in a#neutral way like 'what they're saying is not a BAd thing but also is not how I would say that today.' etc. ANYWAY I find it really interest#ing to document and remember things and love revisiting the past - not in a sad way - but just like. curiosity. reminiscing and recalling#and filling in gaps. or trying to have the same feeling I felt at a previous time so I can remember what it was. Collecting information for#documentation purposes. Like for example - I would love to go back and tour all of my old childhood houses/apartments. Not to like#sit in the middleof them and cry and go 'ohhh my childhood waughhh' - but literally because I want to take detailed photographs so I#can remeber exatly what they looked like and recreate them in sims or some other digital way. Why? idk. just to gather the information. If#I ever live to like 80 years old and I'm still reflecting on my life curious about the dteails of it. I want to be able to fire up my#ancient windows 10 laptop I've kept all these years and open up the sims 4 and tour my old home with accuracy etc. ??#Not sure why really. Maybe an extension of how I generally care a lot about having an 'accurate' view of things? Like I would rather be#accurate than be happy. I don't understand 'ignorance is bliss' because I would always rather know. I always always in any situation am mor#focused on 'what is the well researched practical truth' than about 'how does this make me feel' or etc. Truth above ALL else even if it#were to make me miserable. Aka why I'm a 'boring' 'annoying' 'UM actually..' type of killjoy lol because it's very hard for me to understan#that some people can enjoy something or have a good time even not knowing the full facts of a situation or etc. BUT anyway. since that is#some core driver of my personality for whatever reason (just the plague of ennegram type 5 perhaps lol) maybe that also drives me to my#kind of minor obsession with like 'I must have a complete view and calatoguing of my life that is as accurate as possible within the means#i have' . Is it REALLY important for me to know the exact layout of on of my first childhood bedrooms? no. materially it does nothing for m#in life. BUT hey. it would make a great addition to the Accurate Life Story Catalogue lol. ANYWAY.. But I think a lot of wanting to live in#one place forever is not just the ease of documentation. but the sense of having a constant. Much of what i crave most in life is stability#& familiarity &routine bc of how my brain works. And it just would feel so good to be Settled. Never uproot again. One little place FOREVER
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