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jakeyt · 1 year

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Covet: Chapter 1

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Summary:

Life was good. No, life was great.

Was.

Until.

Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture.

You welcomed him into your life—your home.

Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in.

Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want.

At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Word Count: 12k+

Genre: and they were ROOMMATES; slowburn; enemies to lovers; enemies to lovers to friends to who knows what the hell they are

Warnings: (most of these are to come and not explicitly taking place in this chapter) 18+ (minors stay away); struggles with anxiety; absent parents; use of drugs and alcohol; sexual situations; etc. *each chapter will include the warnings that you should be aware of as the reader. i promise.* <3

Covet Masterlist

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a/n: woo! hi all! this is the very first fic that i am publishing for the gvf fandom, so i will admit, that when i say i am a little (very) nervous. . .I MEAN IT. it’s taking a lot for me to share this. . .but, i am so very passionate about this work. i am truly dying to share it with you all.

this will be a longer, angsty, alternate universe (!!), slooowburn story (you'll have to wait for the ~stuff~, sorry).

and this chapter is a very long intro chapter. lol. sorry in advance.

i have pictures of the boys that can accompany the chapters, if you're interested in checking those out. . .pictures that aide in showing you what the boys look like as the story goes on. (for anyone interested, the doc will be attached in the notes at the end of the chapter.)

i hope anyone who reads this enjoys this little brain child of mine. it is very special to me and i hope it is received well.

please enjoy! <3

Disclaimer: this is absolutely, undoubtedly 110% a work of fiction. i do not claim to know greta van fleet. i do not claim that any of this actually occurred. again, this is a complete work of fiction. And, please, DO NOT steal this work, as it is 110% mine. plagiarism isillegal. and, as our friend google puts it, plagiarism is “illegal if it infringes an author's intellectual property rights.” and, being these words/ideas are my intellectual property rights. . .don’t take them. legal action will be taken if you take credit for any of my work.

_ _ _

Covet: to greatly desire, yearn for, or want a person.

And, on the same hand: to begrudge a person.

_ _ _

Chapter 1

May, 2022

Brooklyn, NY

The sun was shining brightly through the window of the Black and Gold, the cozy and charming record store you worked at in east Brooklyn.

It was quite the picturesque morning. You had woken with enough time to make a protein smoothie and take a light jog. And after your jog, you were decently sweaty and you’d still had enough time on the clock to take a relatively long shower afterwards.

Now, you were at the B&G, and you had about ten minutes before the shop opened. Today would be a busy one, so you took advantage of the calm before the storm.

You were using this time to sit behind the work computer and browse Amazon. You were on the hunt for a cute little cat tree. Today, you would be adopting a sweet feline that you’d recently inquired about from a nearby shelter. As soon as you got off work, you were set to pick her up.

You could hear the birds chirping so beautifully outside to welcome the spring day. You were glad you were opening the shop this morning. Anytime you opened, it felt so overwhelmingly relaxing and safe.

And, it felt even better to be working the opening shift on the very first day of your summer vacation. You sighed in relief of your summer officially beginning.

Your junior year of college had finally finished. It had absolutely been the most draining of your undergraduate years so far. So, you welcomed today gladly and openly. It was refreshing. You could actually breathe again.

It was very nearly the same refreshing feeling you always had when you finished with classes. That feeling of relief and finality that could compare to little else.

But, as much as you loved summer, you really did love school. You loved being a college girl and taking the proper steps to eventually live out your dream. There really was no question about how much you loved college. Everyday was spent pursuing your passion for writing to eventually become an author – it had been everything you’d ever wanted. Truly.

But, you were human. A human with anxiety at that. So, you loved times of peace and low stress.

Now, all you’d have to worry about was: reading and writing in your spare time; seeing your wonderful grandparents more often; and getting to hang out with Josh.

You grinned when you thought of the goofy, curly-headed man.

Josh Kiszka was your best friend in the city. You had been close for a few years. You had met each other at the Black and Gold about three years ago when you first walked into the record shop, asking if they were hiring. He had been the manager on duty that day. He’d taken little time that day to find the proper application for you to fill out, and had basically hired you on the spot. Now that you were so closely friends with him, that instance was so characteristically Josh, it brought another small smile to your face.

You began your job here almost as soon as you graduated high school. Your grandparents hadn’t allowed you to have a job in the city while you were still an ‘impressionable’ high schooler. Though, as soon as you turned eighteen and you walked the stage, diploma in hand, you bet your ass you started seeking out record stores to work for in the city. You loved music as much as you loved to write, so a record store was the only viable job option, in your opinion.

You had been determined to have a job nailed down before you ever stepped onto the campus of the Pratt Institute. Pratt had been the object of your desire ever since your sophomore year of high school when your sister, Elsie, who was then still a junior, had decided to attend there to maintain a degree in journalism.

Then, last year, you had watched Elsie so gracefully cross the stage and switch her tassel from one side to the other at that very Institute. She had given you a double thumbs-up and one of the dumb little faces you two would often exchange. And in that moment, you’d been so proud to have followed in her footsteps. She was your closest confidant, Josh coming in second.

While you both attended school, she had been your roommate. The summer before freshman year, you’d moved all of your necessary belongings into the apartment your grandparents had chosen for her the year prior. Living with her had been what all dreams were made of. It had been the two of you against the world – just like always.

But, last May, when she graduated, she’d officially left you. She had started traveling the world to be the best journalist the world would ever see. (You were, admittedly, a bit biased, but almost everyone who knew her knew what a fantastic writer she was.)

She was a hard worker, and as genetics would have it, so were you. You always had been the hardest worker in your class. You’d been a straight-A student as far back as you could remember. Your senior year of high school, all of your teachers had been beyond thrilled to write recommendation letters for you to submit with your application to Pratt.

Your teachers had waited with you, on baited breath, to receive the acceptance letter.

You had waited a few (long) months to receive the letter that answered every prayer imaginable. Pratt’d accepted you, and it was history from there.

You had then gotten your job here, at the Black and Gold, moved in with your sister to her apartment, and started school that August. You had decided several years prior that anywhere you went, you’d major in writing and minor in music (the latter falling under ‘media studies’ at Pratt).

And, even though you missed your sister, living alone had been an almost exhilarating experience for the past year. You were able to live life for you and you alone. It was wonderful. And, now, you were almost done with school, on your way to becoming an author.

And you had a cat on the way.

Life simply couldn’t get any better.

🌼 🌼 🌼

Like you knew it would be, this Friday in the shop had been a busy one. Everyone on this side of Brooklyn knew you got shipment in on Thursdays, and Josh always featured the best records to lure customers in further.

You weren’t unhappy to see all of the customers, though. You loved people. You loved getting to see regulars and meet new people. As did Josh.

At this moment, there was a lady in front of you both, asking if the record she was holding was ‘worth a shot’. It had been one that Josh had deemed appropriate for the ‘Featured Wall’ (a pegged wall with display hooks for the vinyl). Naturally, he was ready to talk it up. It was a film score. Of course.

“Now, this one is quite exquisite,” Josh said, in his mature voice, he held the vinyl with one hand. His other hand was flourishing as he spoke. “You see, this film was filled with such sorrow and heartache, but redemption all the same – the music from the feature reflects just that. It’s stupendous, really.”

Of course, the woman instantly became convinced. He had such a way of talking to people. Charisma was the word for it. You admired that about him. Though, there were many qualities you admired about the man. You could hardly begin to list them all.

You could easily say that being a good friend topped the list of wonderful things about him.

He had been the main person (besides your sister) that you turned to when you needed to talk for the past three years. But now that she was gone? He’d essentially been all you’d had for the past year. And you had already kind of known this about him, but the past year had taught you that he was easily the most empathetic person you’d ever met.

You loved Josh and you were always trying your hardest to be the kind of friend to him that he consistently was to you.

He checked the woman’s vinyl out for her, talking her ear off the whole time. He laughed at the right times, showing he was listening intently to every word she said. He had a way of drawing people in to him, and this older woman was no different.

As she left, he started talking to you, still facing the register, making sure to balance it after that transaction.

“I haven’t even had time to ask you,” he turned to you after closing the drawer. “How has your first official day of summer vacation been?”

You put a finger to your chin, pretending to think deeply at the question. You scrunched your lips to one side to add to the effect.

He chuckled at you, his eyes becoming soft. “You are so endearing, Y/N,” he gave you a look and a raise of his brow, a smolder on his face. “But not quite as endearing as that sister of yours.”

You laughed at that. Josh was a mess for Elsie. Since the first time she’d dropped lunch off for you at the shop, and he’d seen her that very first time – he’d been hooked. You were pretty sure he had actually drooled a little.

He’d been quite vocal about her to you, but you knew he thought he didn’t stand a chance. He believed she was completely out of his league. He was truly besotted by her.

“Well, let’s see, I’m –.”

“I’m ready!” The excited person at the register, who donned three original presses, was a regular. She was a young, mousy, high-school aged girl named Stacy. She had an appreciation for all things vintage. You and Josh both liked her a lot for her individuality.

You made a quick conversation with her, asking if she was out for summer yet. She sadly replied that she wasn’t, but she was ‘so ready to be.’ You grinned, telling her you totally understood.

She flitted out the door as soon as she’d appeared, and you turned to Josh, ready to continue. Though, the thing you were most excited for was what you decided to mention first.

“I’m getting my cat today!”

He opened his mouth wide, all of his teeth showing. He raised his hands above his head in excitement, lifting to his toes a little as well. He felt every ounce of joy that you did, you could tell.

“Your landlord gave the okay?” he asked, surprised, lowering back to earth with you.

Your landlord could be a pain in the ass at times, but at the end of the day, you had a way with people, like Josh. And, you had gotten your way when you had asked so very sweetly. You might have pulled the “I feel so alone since my sister left” card . . . but you really wanted a cat. And it wasn’t a complete lie. You did occasionally long for someone to keep you company. And a cat could do just that.

“Of course,” you scoffed, as if the question was absurd. Then you gave a little grin. “Who could say no to the sweet little thing that is me?” You have a hair flip, adding to the bit.

“I never tell you this, but your humility is your best trait,” he remarked.

You both laughed at that.

“And your quiet demeanor is yours,” you gave a cheeky grin that he returned.

It was that grin of his where his dimple showed, and more of his gums showed than his teeth.

“What are you naming it?”

“Her,” you corrected. “And I’m naming her Stevie.”

“Nicks or Wonder?”

“Wonder,” you stated, as if it was even a question.

“Why did I even ask?” You both shook your heads, grinning at each other. “I love it, Y/N. It fits you.”

You decided to change the subject to him and his life. “How has your filmmaking been going?”

Josh loved film, and his ultimate dream was to be a director. He loved music, but not quite to the same degree as film.

“It’s alright,” he shrugged. Then, you could practically see the lightbulb gleam above his head, his eyes brightened with the imaginary bulb. “That reminds me! Could you, pretty please, with the reddest cherry on top, ask Elsie if she’d be in one of my upcoming projects?”

“Josh, she’s hardly in town,” you feign offense with an exaggerated hand to your heart and a gasp. “And what about me? Am I chopped liver? We do share the same genetics, my friend.”

“Y/N. She is my muse,” he gave you the funniest look of desperation. “Please.”

You conceded. You knew as soon as he asked you that you would talk to her about it. Of course you would. It was Josh and you’d do anything for him.

“Of course, Joshua,” you pinched his cheek and ruffled the curls that sat atop his head. The beads of his headband that laid against his neck shook as you did so. “Anything for you.”

He literally leapt with joy at that. And you knew the smile that was on his face wouldn’t leave for hours. You wished you could enamour someone in the way Josh was so enamored by your sister. That was a trait of hers you had been jealous of for years – she drew people in. Just like Josh drew people in.

You loved people, yes, but you weren’t this grand lamp that drew in all of the people around you like moths to a flame.

You longed for the day a guy would think of you the way Josh thought of her.

He continued, “Anyway, I am just so exci–.”

His eyebrows scrunched as his phone started blaring I Will Survive in his pocket, he got it out and his eyes squinted even harder as he looked at the wide screen.

He never got calls during work. Josh’s entire family knew his schedule. His brother Sam and their friend Danny were his roommates, so they knew. And, Josh talked to his mom so much. Like, they talked so often you simply knew that she knew what he had for lunch every single day. She obviously knew he was busy, which translated to his father knowing. And his sister was overseas, pursuing a degree.

“Everything okay?” you questioned, curiosity lacing your tone as his brows stayed knitted.

He shook his head, as if shaking himself from his daze. “Yeah, I just never–,” he shook his head again, his eyes widening as he slid his pointer finger across the screen. Josh held his phone like your grandpa held his, almost unsure of the smart device. He held the phone to his ear suddenly. His lips set in a pursed line, and his jaw clenched as the other person started talking. Then, as if he forgot you were standing there, already engaged in the cellular conversation, he looked at you suddenly. Then, he mouthed an “I’ve gotta take this,” and headed outside. He placed himself outside the shop in a way you couldn’t see him and your interest grew tenfold.

Who could it possibly be?

🌼 🌼 🌼

Minutes ticked by. The sun had sunk just a tad bit lower in the sky. And, you had checked out countless customers who all seemed to finish making their selections at the same. time.

You knew Josh had seen them all leave in a steady flow, bags in hand. On a normal day, he would have taken that as his cue to come back in and help you. But, he hadn’t come back in. Instead, he’d stayed out of sight, outside the store. You checked the clock that hung behind the cash register.

He’d been outside for thirty minutes. Damn.

You needed to leave in about an hour to get your cat.

He’d better be back in by then, you thought slightly grumpily. You knew your irritation wasn’t necessarily warranted. You knew if he was still outside, it was serious. At this point, you were more fuelled by your spirit of inquiry than anything else. You just wanted to know what was going on on the other side of Josh’s iPhone.

Finally, about five minutes later, he stomped back in. Josh never stomped. He usually glided.

Well. Now you wondered even more what the matter was. His face read dread and a healthy tinge of anger.

Before you could turn to him to ask your burning questions, a customer came up. You hurriedly checked him out, barely making conversation. At this point, you were more worried for your frazzled friend than making polite conversation with a stranger. And, again, that’s why people were drawn to Josh and not you. He wouldn’t have let his personal issues change his interactions with those around him.

Except now, he faced away from the store, back slightly hunched as he stared out the massive window behind the register. His arms were crossed, indicating even more that he was in deep thought.

As soon as you’d placed the customer’s record in one of the gold bags that were associated with your store, you turned to Josh. He was now teetering back and forth on his ropey sandals, his hand continuously raking through his once-perfectly-tousled curls. Now, the curls on his head matched the nervous energy he was exuding.

He was angled away from you, in his own world.

“Josh?” You were quiet, both for the benefit of the few customers in the store and your friend’s obvious distress. You stepped the couple of steps it took to be closer to him. You placed a hand on his arm, hoping your calm tone and the delicate gesture would communicate your concern.

He seemed to boost just the slightest bit at your touch. He turned his head in your direction, yet his eyes stayed planted to the happenings occurring outside the window. He was watching people. You knew he was surely doing so to latch on to one of their happy feelings, and feel that instead of the obvious anguish that was overtaking him.

His eyes met yours finally. You knew your eyes widened a bit when you saw his. Had he been crying? His eyes were a bit puffy, a tinge red and so sullen. You were definitely taken aback. Josh radiated joy almost always. . .this was a new emotion of his for you to experience. He hardly let bad things affect him, as he was always determined to find the bright side of things. And the joy he’d had when you two had last talked only forty minutes ago, was gone. His mouth was a flat frown.

“It’s–,” he cleared his throat, his voice having been laced with emotion he didn’t seem ready to show. “It’s my brother.”

Your heart started racing, all things that could possibly be wrong were suddenly wrong in your mind. What had happened?

“Oh no, Josh,” your hand squeezed his arm, you moved closer, hoping your proximity may help him. “Sam? What-what happened?”

Josh shook his head, the strings that tied his beaded headband together in the back shaking slightly. “No. Not Sam,” he scratched at his eyebrow with a finger, his eyes still looking concerned underneath them. “Jake.”

You internally slapped yourself for not thinking of Jake before. To be fair, he never called Josh. He lived in Illinois, living a completely separate life from his twin. But, how could you have forgotten about Josh’s literal twin? Josh brought him up in conversation from time to time, but he was just so far away. You never thought of him.

Now you understood why he was so downtrodden. You knew twin telepathy was real. If you hadn’t known before you’d become friends with Josh, you surely did now. Josh had explained his beliefs about it many times before. You had absolutely no doubts he was feeling every emotion Jake was feeling in this moment. An empathetic twin? You couldn’t begin to imagine the weight.

You suddenly had to know what was going on – even more than you’d needed to before. You shook your head, letting your hand fall from Josh’s arm and giving him some space to feel what he was feeling. “He never calls you,” you stated the first thing that you’d thought. “What did he need–,” you checked your slightly accusatory tone. Not the time, Y/N. “I mean, what happened to him?”

You were honestly kind of scared for his response.

“His, um, his girlfriend–,” Josh’s eyebrows drew together in anger. “No–his ex-girlfriend. She–,” he held a clenched fist to his mouth, and you saw tears gather in his eyes. “She cheated on him.”

You stepped back once, slightly shocked. Josh was this distressed over a breakup?

You tried to keep your tone understanding. “Oh no,” you tried, really.

“Yeah,” he rubbed his forehead, just below the headband. He sniffed the tears away. His eyes lightened a bit. Just a bit. It seemed to have lifted off of his shoulders a bit. Maybe it was because he’d finally stated it out loud, and the emotions were finally able to come out of his body. He wasn’t holding onto the entirety of it anymore. He looked down again. “I can’t, no– actually, I can,” he nodded to himself, a heinous smirk on his face. “I can believe she’d–,” he scoffed haughtily.

You were doing your best to follow along. But if he continued with broken-up sentences, you weren’t sure you’d be able to keep up. “Yeah?”

He finally snapped out of his daze even more and locked his eyes with yours. He seemed to remember where he was, his eyes tracing the establishment quickly, to make sure customers were alright and no one was nearby. Then, he looked back at you.

“I know it seems a little ridiculous,” he stated. “To be so upset over a break-up. But, this girl. Jake, he–,” Josh swallowed an obvious knot that had blossomed in his throat at saying his twin’s name. “Jake followed her to that stupid ass college of hers when we graduated and– he was so selfless. So selfless, Y/N. I can’t believe she’d be so selfish. She basically spit in my brother’s face.”

Your eyebrows knit together. You didn’t know much about Jake, so hearing all of this was incredibly interesting to you, to say the least. You were sipping on some piping hot tea while also learning of a mystery person who shared the same DNA as your best friend.

He continued. “Actually, I think it’s worse than spitting in one’s face,” he scoffed, his tongue curling in his mouth, his dimple showing for an emotion completely opposite of joy. “She kicked him so hard. . .he is bleeding. And I can’t–,” more tears gathered in his eyes. Oh no. Josh tears were surely going to make your tears spring soon, and you didn’t like showing those.

“You can’t what, Josh?” you urged, trying to push the conversation forward, past the pauses that could cause the waterworks.

He looked you in the eyes, his eyes so sad. “He is leaving there asap, and I can’t take him in,” a tear left his right eye. “And I refuse to let him go back to our hometown. He is better than that. I want him–no, I need him here with me.”

Josh’s tone was more serious than you’d ever heard it. You didn’t want to peep a word, you wanted him to continue what he was saying. But, you had to ask. Though, you knew the answer. You were denying what you already knew you had to do.

“Why can’t you take him in?” you pondered.

“Landlord was already iffy about me moving Sammy and Danny in when they came to town,” he placed both hands over his face, smoothing them down to his cheeks. “My apartment was a strictly two-person apartment and somehow my landlord let me squeeze a third one in there. He wouldn’t ever let me have more than that. I could ask, I guess, but getting shot down right now would seriously kill me,” a tear fell from his eye. “But Jake can’t afford his own place right now. He’s been working the worst jobs down there. Terrible income.”

Your heart beat erratically in your chest. You knew what you had to do. You knew it the moment you asked him why he couldn’t take in another person. You’d been to Josh’s apartment. The three boys really were kind of squeezed into that apartment, but they made it work better than most people could. How they did it, you didn’t know. But, you did know what you had to offer.

“He can stay with me.”

“What?” his eyes widened to the point of you wondering if they’d bulge out of his head. He looked like that one emoji who was on the verge of tears, due to gratefulness. “Y/N, you couldn’t possibly be serious.”

Before you said anything else, you quickly contemplated it once more. You didn’t know the guy. You literally forgot that he existed for a moment today. And you were about to take him in. What in the hell did you just offer? You internally berated yourself for questioning your decision when you looked at Josh again, though. His eyes were so wide, so gracious, so kind. You had wanted to be the friend that Josh deserved for a long time. You knew your decision.

“Yes, Josh,” you gave him a small, hesitant smile. “He can stay with me for a while.”

Josh looked more than appreciative, but he had a question in his eye. You immediately knew it as foreboding guilt. “Y/N, I did not mean to make you think that you had to–.”

“I know,” you smiled a wider, more genuine smile now. “That’s why I offered,” you reached out to grab his arm again. “You would do it for me.”

He would. You could feel your eyes well with emotion and his did the same. Before you knew it, he was grasping you so tightly, like you were his lifeline. He said thank you’s and you have no idea what this means to me’s more times than you could count.

You hugged him tighter to you. You really would do anything for him.

Even if it meant taking in a stranger.

But– Jake wasn’t really a stranger. Well, he was. He was a person you had never even looked at in your life, so he was a stranger. You wouldn’t know him if you saw him across the street.

(You hadn’t frequently been to Josh’s apartment and the photos you had seen on his phone were terribly shaky at best.)

The more you thought, maybe you would recognize him from a distance. He was Josh’s twin, after all. But for the life of you, you couldn’t remember ever seeing a picture of him. Maybe he looked just like Josh.

Maybe he would be just like Josh. He’d called him selfless, after all. And Josh was the most selfless person you knew, besides your grandparents.

You had to convince yourself that you hadn’t just made one of (if not the) most impulsive decisions in your life.

Instead, you just hugged Josh even tighter to you, remembering that his happiness and calmness was what mattered right now, most of all.

🌼 🌼 🌼

It had been a week since you’d made the most drastic (and mindless) decision of your life.

Josh had decided it would take about a week for Jake to get his stuff together and get here.

So, the day was here for him to move in.

You had wanted to quiz Josh as much as you possibly could during the week that was leading up to this chaotic decision, but you hadn’t had the chance. Josh had only been at the record store the day after you had offered your apartment up. Then, he had left in his little beat-up car. Followed along by Sammy and Danny in a small U-Haul to pick up his (their) other brother.

You weren’t sure how Josh’s little humpty dumpty car was going to make the nearly-fifteen-hour trip. You were sure, however, that that thing was set to burst into flames at any given moment. The brown rust that had overtaken the majority of the metal on the car, the paint that was chipped so badly you could hardly tell what the original color of the car had been. And then there were the terrible fumes that came from the exhaust. . . Blech. Even just thinking about it, you had to physically shake your head to rid yourself of the smell as you thought of it.

It was that one car that, if you had your windows rolled down at a stoplight next to it, you rolled your windows back up as quickly as you possibly could.

You politely refused to ride in that thing, seeing as you didn’t want to ride passenger in a ticking time bomb. But, you loved how much Josh loved the car.

It had come all the way from Frankenmuth, Michigan with him when he moved to the city years ago, and he seemed bound and determined to drive it until the old, rusty wheels fell off.

You brought yourself out of your thoughts and went to get the vacuum out of the coat closet. You rolled it out by its squeaky wheels and tended to the hallway and bedrooms first. You gave them all at least three sweeps, giving the guest room an extra. Living room was next.

You were so nervous to show a complete stranger your apartment. You wanted to make a good impression, and you needed Jake to know that you were a person who liked things kept clean. You’d known ever since you offered your place up last week, that you would wind up deep-cleaning the entire apartment at some point during the week.

And, due to the busyness that could only be described as summertime at the Black and Gold, you were just now getting to it. It seemed that everyone on this side of New York was always suddenly inspired to grow their record collections during the summer time. You thought it was maybe due to the sunshine and the generally carefree nature of summer that brought a sense of melancholy and nostalgia to everyone, including yourself. Summer could simply be viewed as an opportunity to live life rather than go about your days in constant routine and mindless motions.

You had been scheduled to work the morning of this cloud-ridden Friday, but you had personally requested to only work the morning so you could prepare your apartment for your burgeoning guest the second part of the day.

You looked around your cozy apartment, a hand on your hip to ground your exhausted body. You were proud of your work. You then looked at the gold clock that hung next to the front door. It was just now 5:14 p.m. on the dot, and your apartment was basically sparkling. The only thing you really had left to do was vacuum the living room.

So, you ran your vacuum over the carpet of your living room. And, after giving it at least four complete sweeps, you gave it one last once over. You decided it was as good as it was going to get. As you put away the vacuum, you wondered how close Josh and the guys were.

He had called you earlier that day to inform you that they had been more than halfway back. That was around 10 a.m. At that point, he’d thought they would be arriving around 6:30 or 7 that evening. You checked the clock on the wall again, and realized the minute hand hadn’t moved at all for the past fifteen-ish minutes. You crinkled your brows. Then, your stomach fell to your feet.

You raced over to your phone on the counter, almost tripping over Stevie. You apologized to her, as if your walking had caused a real inconvenience to her. She had barely budged in your rushed stumble.

When you’d picked her up, the humane society had sworn she had some of the Ragdoll breed in her. With her bright blue eyes and fluffy combined white and light gray fur. So, being you, you’d researched the breed. She held true to many positive traits of the breed. Though, one you’d learned that she inhabited, was how she did the ‘cat flop’ so frequently. A very Ragdoll-esque thing to do. And, it was more cute than anything, honestly.

You got to your iPhone and pressed your finger to the screen of your phone, lighting it up.

5 missed calls from Josh. 3 text messages from Josh.

And it was 6:05 p.m.

“Well, shit,” you mumbled frustratedly to yourself. You rubbed your forehead, a light sheen of sweat coming off on your hand. You opened your phone to read his texts.

Josh, 5:02 p.m.: We are about 1 hr and some change away

Josh, 5:30 p.m.: Stuck in traffic :/

Josh, 5:55 p.m.: You ok???

And then you noticed the missed calls had come in a string. You had actually just missed the last one, it having come in at six o’clock on the dot.

You suddenly took notice of the fact that you could feel the sticky sweat in your armpits and decided you had to take a shower. You gave him a quick response.

You, 6:06 p.m.: Where are you now? I’ve gotta hop in the shower. Lost track of time. Ugh

He responded instantaneously.

Josh, 6:06 p.m.: Lol it’s ok. We are still about 30 minutes away

Josh, 6:06 p.m.: IM GLAD YOURE OK!!!!!

You smiled to yourself, and quickly sent a smiley emoji back in response. You were about to take the fastest shower of your life. Taking your phone with you to keep better track of time, you hurriedly went to the closet that held the washer and dryer at the end of the hallway. You set the dryer to run an air dry cycle on the guest room sheets. You simultaneously stripped your clothes and threw them in the hamper that sat in the laundry room.

Then, you headed to the bathroom to (very) quickly scrub down.

🌼 🌼 🌼

As you got out of the shower, you crossed to the white, laminate countertop that held the sink, and tapped the screen of your phone to view the time.

It was only 6:15 p.m. You had managed to take a shower and shave your legs in a span of less than ten minutes.

Hell yeah.

You didn’t even wrap the towel around your body as you normally would have. You didn’t want to dirty a new one, and you decided you’d take a quick moment to commemorate the time you’d had living alone. You let yourself air dry as you ran as fast as possible, stark naked, to your bedroom. You were hoping the faster the speed, the quicker your body would dry.

Once you made the not-so-long trek to your bedroom, you opened the drawers you’d need to use from the beautiful, vintage, white chest of drawers your sister had left behind for you to keep. You two had gone thrifting one day your freshman year, and she’d found it first, so she’d gotten dibs. It had only been fair for you to inherit the piece of furniture, considering her new profession would have her in no one place for too long.

You quickly got a pair of underwear and a sports bra out, sliding them on slightly slowly due to the adhesive your body had created from the still-drying water.

You chose a pair of black jean shorts for your bottoms, opting against any long pants as you knew the material would only stick to your legs uncomfortably. Then, you chose the dark, mossy green tank top you saw lying atop all of the others in your drawer of tanks and tees.

You gave yourself a quick look in the mirror that was attached to the chest. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t impressed by the cute outfit that was made in record time. It was simple, but it was cute.

You grabbed the gold necklace that held your first initial from the dresser in front of you, clasping it around your neck.

Good job thinking on the spot, Y/N. And, being the (admittedly) weird person you were, you gave yourself a quick little pat on the back for all the work you’d done so far today, including the outfit decision. A few water droplets landed on your hand from your hair that was steadily leaking onto your tank-top, already creating an ugly wet spot on the back of the shirt.

You poked the screen of your iPhone, seeing the newest text from Josh as you slid the screen to unlock it.

Josh, 6:17 p.m.: We just dropped Daniel and Samuel off at our place.

Josh, 6:17 p.m.: They had plans with a couple of girls tonight.

Josh, 6:18 p.m.: Soooooo it will just be Jacob and myself

Josh, 6:18 p.m.: We are like 5 min away btw

You didn’t always understand Josh sending multiple texts in a row rather than just combining them all into one. It was a silly thing he did that you found slightly chaotic, but that made it very Josh. He would send the thoughts as they came to him. Just as he said whatever thought may pop into his mind if you were to be talking to him in person.

You spared no time as you brushed through your sopping wet hair with the ever-present brush that sat atop the chest of drawers. Water flung from the ends, onto your back, and onto the rest of your bedroom as you quickly brushed. You grabbed the claw clip nearest to you and made a quick twist of your hair. Then, at the back of your head, you secured it with the claw clip. Good enough.

You pinched your cheeks, adding some life to them. You had, so far, opted for a foundation-free summer. You were trying to give your skin a break. Though, you did slap a couple layers of mascara on. You did have the decency to want to look presentable for your about-to-be roommate.

Your phone screen read that it was 6:22. They would be here any–.

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

Josh’s signature series of knocks. You could swear he added a little flair every time he knocked on your apartment’s door. If it made any sense, the knocks seemed to get a little more zesty every time he visited your home.

You walked quickly to the front door, scanning the apartment again as you walked through it. You were very proud of how it looked. You grabbed the candle striker that sat behind a picture on an end table and lit the maple pancakes scented candle that sat on the same table. You wanted to add to the cozy feeling you wanted for your apartment.

You wanted Jake to feel welcomed.

As you went to open the door, you heard the same knocks start up again. You rolled your eyes at your friend’s blatant impatience.

As you opened the door, a piece of hair fell from your up-do, onto your face. It made you momentarily close your eyes as it tickled your eyelashes. You puffed it out and away from your face with a breath. You tucked it behind your ear, and your eyes opened to see Josh’s smile.

It seemed to be a smile that said, ‘I’m sorry in advance.’

You gave him a smile of encouragement. Surely Josh was just on edge, probably from feeling so much stress and emotion for the past week.

Then, you saw movement behind Josh, your breath caught in your throat.

Oh.

You weren’t expecting Josh’s identical twin to look so different from him right off the bat. Did they look similar? Yes. You could definitely tell that they were twins, but Jake was just different from Josh.

His tanned skin was like Josh. But, you initially noticed their differences more than similarities.

His hair was longer than Josh’s. It was wavy rather than exhibiting the springy curls as Josh’s did. Where Josh’s hair indicated buoyancy, Jake’s hair showed an alluring appeal. You suddenly wanted to run your fingers through it.

Okay, stop it, Y/N.

But, then, the amber-brown eyes that looked past his brother and into the apartment caught your attention before you were able to stop it. They stopped you. They were like Josh’s, but you hadn’t ever cared to notice the perfect mixture of color in Josh’s eyes before. But when it came to Jake’s? Apparently his eyes held a special kind of drug that you couldn’t help but be lured in by. They held a strange sense of something you’d never known you’d needed.

You just couldn’t quite place your finger on what void it was these eyes filled.

It was Josh’s voice that snapped you out of your daze. “Y/N?”

When you came to, you realized he was waving a hand in front of your face.

Well.

That was embarrassing as hell. Your first interaction with your brand new roommate had you in a trance that you literally had to be brought out of with a calling of your name and a gesture. You would have slapped your forehead if you wanted to humiliate yourself any more, but you really didn’t want to add more fuel to the flame in your now-rosy cheeks. You could feel them burning hot.

You caught Josh’s eyes first as you snapped out of your trance. Afraid to lose yourself in his twin’s eyes again, you held Josh’s as you introduced yourself to this new person. Josh’s eyes were safe. Admittedly, it was weird for you to stare at Josh as you introduced yourself to his brother, but.

“I’m–.”

“This is Y/N, Jake,” Josh introduced you. You shared a small smile with your best friend, silently thanking him for saving you from any more awkwardness. The dimple in his cheek showed as he gave you his close-mouthed smile. “Y/N, this is Jake.”

You forced yourself to look at him, out of politeness.

Although, when you looked at him this time, you realized he wasn’t holding any sort of smile on his face. His eyes weren’t showing warmth, as Josh’s almost always did. He was looking at you with a stone-cold face. No emotion seemed to show.

“Hi,” his jaw was clenched in his greeting.

“Hey! Welcome to New Yor–.”

“Can we unload the U-Haul now?” He was looking at Josh when he said it, as if he hadn’t even been trying to listen to you.

Suddenly you weren’t anywhere near a trance-like state anymore. Instead, you wanted to roll your eyes at his childish greeting and his inability to show you respect. It was almost like he was a child being forced to apologize for something, when in all actuality, he was being allowed the opportunity to stay with you. Could he act like an adult? You were being one by allowing him this opportunity. It felt as though you were pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone for him.

Well, to be fair, it was mostly for Josh’s sake.

You decided to ignore it. Perhaps he was just awkward when meeting new people. God knows you had already been awkward in your own way.

“Uh– um, yeah,” you clumsily responded. “Let’s go ahead and get started.”

🌼 🌼 🌼

The three of you had almost finished unloading the U-Haul. He hadn’t brought much, really. It had not taken long at all to get this moving truck nearly empty. There were only a few boxes and a couple of guitar cases left, near the front of the truck.

Josh and Jake had unloaded heavier things, allowing you the opportunity to take in some of the smaller things.

One of the things you’d enjoyed carrying in the most had been the majority of his record collection. You had thoroughly appreciated the mass amount of boxes that included vinyl. You had nosily picked through them as you had dropped off each box to his room.

You had instantly been a fan of the Cream and Eric Clapton you’d come across. You loved good ‘ol Rock ‘n’ Roll.

He didn’t seem to share quite the same amount of love for soul as Josh did, though you still noticed enough of the blues to make you smile. Even if he was awkward with new people, his music taste was something of worth. You even saw a few duplicates of records you already owned. Although, there were enough albums that you didn’t own that you also admired his taste in that capacity. You did have quite the expansive collection.

As you passed through the living room, ready to continue to help, you passed the guys. Each of them were carrying a couple of boxes, chattering away about something. You wanted to know what they were talking about, you wanted to include yourself in an easy conversation with your new roommate. But you knew you shouldn’t interrupt, so you went about your business helping.

When you made it back to the U-Haul, you saw the twins had pushed what was left to the front of the truck. You only noticed two beat-up guitar cases were left. You went ahead and decided you’d be the hero of the day by carrying in the last of the things he’d brought. Maybe it would show him how helpful you were. How you liked to help people.

All things considered, offering up a room in your apartment to a perfect stranger should show that, but you were an overachiever, okay?

And maybe this one thing would be the key to him opening up to you.

As you reached both hands out for the cases, another hand slapped one of your hands away.

What the hell?

You turned to see Jake. His eyebrows were scrunched, his eyes annoyed.

Again, what even?

“I can get these, okay?” he sighed, seemingly put-out.

You didn’t pass up that opportunity to roll your eyes at him. You hadn’t meant to, truly. But you just couldn’t help the natural response to his ungrateful attitude that marred the two interactions you had had with him so far.

“Well–,” you stopped yourself from saying anything. You forced yourself to put things in perspective. “Okay.”

You stepped back, watching as he grasped the handles of each worn, leather case. You followed him up the stairs as he carried them. You were not going to offer to help. You just decided to keep to yourself as you thought it all through.

The longing for normal decency was grating on you. It pissed you off when people couldn’t be generally kind. You knew the irony considering how you had just rolled your eyes at him. Though, you were different from him. You had tried to be nice and fair and decent. You were giving him a place to live, for God’s sake.

The little spark of empathy that lit up in you saw its way through to your heart and you remembered. You remembered how distraught Josh had been at this upheaval in Jake’s life. Surely that meant something. Jake really was going through a lot.

This–this was all so new for him. It was a whole lot of new. New city. Completely new life. He was saying hello to so much, but saying goodbye to even more.

As soon as you made it back into the apartment, you found your way to Josh.

Thankfully, you hadn’t had to walk behind Jake for long. His fast walking up the stairs was helpful. He had seemed absolutely desperate to get away from you.

Josh was leaning against the back of the couch, writing something in his notebook that stayed almost permanently in his back pocket. It was for his musings, the little thoughts he got that inspired more. You never really questioned it, just admired his love to write.

You situated yourself next to him. As you did so, he closed the notebook, putting it back in his pocket. He put the pen he’d been using back in the cup on your kitchen countertop. You had deemed it Josh’s pen awhile back. It was his favorite. He claimed it wrote smoother than the others.

“Josh,” you knew your tone communicated some of your worry.

He wrapped an arm around you, and you leaned into it. You loved how he just always seemed to know.

“He’s going through a lot, Y/N,” he said quietly, then kissed the side of your head. He said the next words even more quietly than the previous ones. “And I should have warned you. . .he acts like an ass when his emotions are all over the place. He doesn’t know how to handle them like I do.”

You chuckled. And you didn’t even have to see him to see his smug, joking smirk. Josh snickered along with you, laughing at his own words. You laid your head on his shoulder, so glad he was there to alleviate the growing tension in your shoulders.

And all too soon, the grim reaper was coming out of his bedroom. He pushed a hand through the wavy hair that touched just below his shoulders. You wished you didn’t notice how it fell so perfectly as he pushed it back.

Jake seemed restless as he cleared his throat. “Do you have shee–?”

“Sheets!” You left Josh’s grasp to go get the sheets out of the dryer.

They were still warm from being in the closed dryer when you piled them up in your arms. You cursed yourself for forgetting to get them out of the dryer. Ugh. You didn’t need him judging you for your lack of thinking to do so.

You passed by the boys, who were once again in deep conversation, as you speed-walked to the guest – no, Jake’s– bedroom. You plopped the sheets on the bed, a ruffled mess of linens. You made quick work of adjusting the fitted sheet to your liking, the loose sheet falling swiftly on top. You tucked all of the corners just right. Then, you got into the bedroom’s little closet and grabbed the white quilt that had stayed up there since you’d last used and washed it. It had been waiting to be used again for a whole year.

Once you’d situated the bed with its pillows and all of its pieces, you took a moment to consider something. What you’d signed yourself up for. How different this was going to be from living with Elsie. Things were going to be so different.

For one, he was a guy. You had never been roommates with a man before. Even more, you hadn’t ever been roommates with anyone but Elsie. And she was your sister. And with her being your sister (and first best friend), there had been nothing but ease and comfort. And, so far, all you had with Jake was tight perplexity and irritation. And just plain tension.

You closed your eyes to the suddenly overwhelming brightness of the room. You rolled your shoulders around, your neck moving along with the action. You wanted to alleviate some of the tightness that was already taking up residence in your upper back and neck.

You felt Stevie rub herself up against your bare leg. Her soft fur and loud purring calmed you in its own special way. You smiled to yourself. The sweet little feline had used her week of knowing you to make one big place for herself in your heart. She seemed to automatically know you on first meeting and had already shown you so much love. She had shown a few times that week that she was a cuddly girl who simply lived for being in your presence.

Although, you felt her leave your legs sooner than you’d anticipated. You opened your eyes in curiosity, watching her cross the room from your legs to Jake’s belongings. She rubbed herself against the boxes and then against the guitar cases – no, no, no.

“Stevie,” you hushed at her. “Let’s not mess with his things.”

You scooped her up quickly, her body going slack in your arms, her purring reverberating through your chest. You assumed it wasn’t the best option for the cat to rub against the blessed cases. What was on the inside of those cases had to be special. The cases themselves really did look like they’d seen better days. Silver duct tape was the only thing that held certain parts of them together.

You left his bedroom, finding the twins, still conversing.

You didn’t want to stop their talking, but. You didn’t want to feel like an outlier in your own home. You were already afraid enough of what was to come with Jake being a constant presence. You just wanted to feel like you were in some type of control.

“The bed is made,” you interrupted them. Both of their heads turned to you. Josh’s more so. Your best friend looked at you with kind eyes and Jake’s face barely changed. His head was barely turned to you, really. It was almost as if he had tuned you out.

“Thanks,” he said more to Josh than to you. He then fully placed his attention back on his twin, seeming to try to shut you out again.

Josh continued to look at you, so it was a weird lull. The air around you three was pulled taut with tension. You didn’t know what to say. You and Josh held eye contact while Jake burnt a hole into the shaved side of his brother’s head with his eyes.

What. the. actual. fuck?!

It was obvious Jake didn’t want you included in anything. All you could conclude was that he was simply being an idiot. It was going to be a very rude awakening when he suddenly remembered you two were going to be roommates. He’d have to live with you. You were going to be there, whether he liked it or not. . .until he eventually was secure enough to (hopefully sooner rather than later) move out.

You could not wrap your mind around how elementary he was acting, considering how you were uplifting your entire life, unnecessarily, on his behalf. Again, more for Josh’s sake than his. . . But still.

Not the point.

This was your home and he was not respecting you enough within the walls of it. Your eyes pleaded with Josh to do something.

Jake pulled his phone out of his back pocket, suddenly interested in the smart device. He leaned against the back of the couch, leisurely playing a game on his phone. He was now ignoring you and Josh both.

Finally, Josh spoke, “Let’s order some Hibachi to-go, shall we?”

Jake responded before you could with a dense “sure.”

“That sounds wonderful,” you put on a bigger, genuine smile of thanks to Josh for thinking of food.

You really were hungry. Perhaps Jake was hungry too. That could have been part of the reason he had been acting like a complete crab. Your stomach suddenly felt emptier than it had before and you were anxious for Josh to order.

“You know what I want,” you pointed an airgun his way, shooting it dorkily. He laughed along with you. You were glad that even though his twin was an ass, Josh was still the same as he always was.

“Same,” Jake again, dull as ever. Could he not speak more than five words in a row? Were compound sentences simply too much for his brain?

Josh nodded, sending a smile your way. His eyes read an apology. It really wasn’t his place to apologize. Still, you were positive it was as close as you’d ever get to Jake apologizing. So, you accepted it, winking in response.

He held up his phone. “I’ve just gotta go call it in,” he crossed to the small fire escape right outside of the French doors in your living room.

You watched with desperate eyes as he left you with his wretched brother.

You knew better than to try conversation, but still – you did.

“So,” you began, walking slightly closer to Jake, who was still leaning against the back of your sofa, playing the game that had him so suddenly entranced. “How is New York so far?”

He didn’t respond, only continuing to play his game. You waited for him to look up at you with a sort of “oh, yeah, sorry! It’s been alright”, but he never did. His fingers ticked across his screen. You were admittedly curious what game it was that had him so engaged.

Maybe he hadn’t heard you.

The benefit of the doubt was certainly trying hard to save your sanity.

“How’s New York?”

You had to strain to hear his response, it was only a simple, aggravated “mhm” hummed in response. It was an obvious tactic that you remembered using as a teenager. It was that response that every teenager frustratedly used to get their parents (or, in your case, grandparents) off their back.

But how in the hell were you being a bother to him? You stepped closer to him once more, but this time when you did, he glanced up at you and then swerved around the couch, eyes staying on the phone as much as they could. Then, before you could step any closer to him, you turned around the couch, following him.

You were tired of his attitude. You weren’t going to put up with his shit any more today. You understood this was hard for him – all of the change, his broken heart, yada yada yada. But you had made up your mind that you deserved more of a response from this man. You were getting ready to rip him a new one when –

“It’ll be here in 30 minutes!” Josh’s joyful tone died a bit at the end of the statement.

As soon as he was fully back in the living room, you could tell that he was absolutely sensing the energy reverberating in the room. He was still slipping his phone into the back pocket of his brown corduroy pants as his eyes sprung back and forth between his brother and you.

Josh’s jaw clenched. He was nervous, that much was obvious. You knew the man very well.

So, he did his ‘make it better’ empath thing and clapped his hands together, which brought both sets of eyes to him.

“Whaddya say the three of us watch a movie?”

🌼 🌼 🌼

The food was delivered and completely scarfed down by the three of you.

You had all been very hungry.

But, the best part of eating? It was the fact that the not-talking thing was more natural than it had been before. There were no conversations to cut off or be left out of. . .because, your faces were being stuffed.

Before the food had gotten there, you had gladly taken up Josh’s offer to start a movie. He had chosen The Shining (one of his go-tos). This had also aided in making the social atmosphere (or lack there-of) less awkward.

Things had actually felt peaceful enough for you to lull off right after little Danny saw the two creepy twin girls in the hallway of the haunted hotel.

🌼 🌼 🌼

You felt yourself slowly come to, but as you did, you heard the twins talking in quiet conversation. Their voices were hushed, seemingly to avoid waking you.

And, as wrong as it may have been, you absolutely took that moment as your opportunity to eavesdrop like you’d wanted to earlier.

You kept your eyes closed, working to keep your breathing steady as if you were still in a slumber. You were a sort of pro at the ‘faking being asleep’ thing. For reference, you had been a bookworm for as long as you could remember. So, as a child, you had mastered the skill of feigning sleep when your grandparents would come to check on you at night. Every time, you had actually been reading—never one to put a book down. (To your knowledge, your grandparents had never seemed privy to you being up late reading when you were supposed to be asleep.)

Your head was on Josh’s shoulder, so you had to work especially hard to control your breathing. You knew that if you had even one breath slightly off, he would notice. He was so much like you in being oversensitive to his surroundings.

You let your ears fade into the conversation.

It was Josh’s voice you heard first.

“You need to give this a chance, Jake,” he sighed, and you could feel his body move slightly. It felt like the arm on the other side of his body was moving, probably to scrub a hand over his face. “She was so kind to offer her apartment to you.”

Thank you for pointing that out, Joshua, you thought. I love you.

“I’m not oblivious to that, Josh. Jesus,” Jake sighed, similarly to his twin. But his involved a bit of a grunt, as if he were pouting. “We are just too different.”

“How do you know the two of you are so different?”

It took a minute for Jake to come up with his answer.

“Well, for one: she has fucking twinkle lights,” you could hear a couple of bracelets clang against each other, as if a hand of his was waving above you all. It was true, you had twinkle lights hanging in the living room. You enjoyed the cozy feel they brought with them.

“I have twinkle lights,” Josh’s response sounded slightly offended. Because, yes, he had twinkle lights adorning his apartment as well. To be fair, he, Sam, and Danny had them hanging around their apartment.

“Not the same, Josh.”

The fuck? How is that not the same? This man was insane.

“You two are more alike than you think, Jake. Seriously.”

Alike, Josh?! You’re going to say I’m like him?! Your thoughts were going haywire.

You couldn’t believe he would compare you to his asinine brother.

“I’m uncomfortable here,” Jake sounded slightly hesitant, kind of sad. “I’m already uncomfortable.”

Uncomfortable? That word hit you deep in the chest.

What had you possibly done to make him uncomfortable? You always tried so hard to do the opposite, in every situation life handed you.

Your heart sank. You were a natural helper. You prided yourself on it. You had been complimented on it many times, by several people in your life. You were honestly known for how great you were at helping those around you. This whole ‘allowing Jake to move in with you’ was on brand for you, if you were being honest.

You tried so hard to help people feel secure and ‘okay’ that his discomfort made your stomach churn. The last thing you needed was a roommate who didn’t find you helpful or warm. You were surely already in the midst of an identity crisis.

And, you hadn’t even spent one whole night with this man in your home.

Nothing you could do would make him like you, you were sure of it.

At this point, you had tuned them both out. You didn’t feel like getting hurt anymore by Jake and his short, spiteful sentences.

You listened to the metal pull switch ding lightly against the ceiling fan’s light fixture. The fan was old and rickety and you needed a new one.

These mindless thoughts saved you from the windy road your mind was creating, thanks to the one and only Jake Kiszka.

And his simple sentences.

🌼 🌼 🌼

The arm you were lying against moved just right and it nudged you awake.

“Oh,” Josh immediately noticed you were awake. He sounded apologetic. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to– I wanted you to get some sleep.”

You blinked your eyes open slowly, only looking up to Josh from where you were still leaning. You didn’t want to chance locking eyes with his evil twin.

But you decided to be the mature one and sit up, even if it meant seeing Jake.

Unfortunately, you were going to have to get used to seeing him. You honestly dreaded it. Greatly.

As you sat up, you looked around the room. Jake was nowhere to be found.

Thank God.

“He went to bed,” Josh commented. “He needed sleep.”

You shook your head.

He needs more than sleep, you haughtily thought.

“I think I want to go to bed, too.”

Josh helped you shut off the lights in the apartment. You blew out the candle you’d lit earlier. You watched as the black smoke rose from the candle.

It was one of the candle scents that you and your sister had always lit to make the apartment feel like a home to all.

Your stomach flipped in circles. You wanted to be sick. All you had worked to do was make your apartment welcoming, friendly, cozy, safe. And apparently all you’d achieved so far was making your new housemate feel uncomfortable.

You couldn’t watch the smoke anymore, feeling tears well in your eyes. You swallowed down any other tears that you felt approaching in your throat. It was stupid to cry over an asshole like Jake.

His words didn’t matter.

You scooped up Stevie, who had been sweeping her soft little body against your shins. She knew you needed her.

You felt the tears well again.

You faced away from Josh, not wanting him to see your watery eyes. You walked to your bedroom, not even looking in the direction of the apartment’s other bedroom.

You knew he was following you to your bedroom because you knew Josh. He would do his best to see to it that you were doing better before he left you.

You knew he could sense something was wrong with you. He knew you so well that you knew it had been obvious to him all night. And now, you knew you were being uncharacteristically quiet.

As soon as the door shut behind him, you tucked yourself under the soft duvet on your bed. You lifted the covers up to your chin and laid your head down on your pillow. You knew you probably looked absolutely pathetic.

You didn’t care.

He sat on top of the covers next to where you laid. He smoothed a hand over your head and you felt Stevie situate her warm body next to your feet. You had become convinced that it was her favorite spot to lay at night.

He tucked a lock of hair behind your ear, and hummed slightly. He scrunched up the left side of his face, his lips squishing together and an eye crinkling as he did so. He seemed to be pondering a thought.

You knew he wouldn’t speak until you were ready to talk, though. Until you made a move to discuss something. Josh was good about that. He gave you your time to feel things. Even when Elsie moved out, as much as it broke his heart to see her leave, he didn’t say anything about it. He had let you have your time to feel without bringing it up.

He had done it many times when big things had happened in your life.

You needed his advice though.

“This may sound naive, Josh, but I expected him to be more like you,” you paused for a second, and chose to look away from him with your next words. “He acted like an arrogant prick all night as I tried to welcome him into my apartment. The apartment I offered for him to stay in during his time of need – don’t forget.”

You knew you were taking some of your snippiness out on Josh when it was absolutely not his fault. But, you couldn’t very well say these things to Jake.

Well, you could. You just hadn’t had the chance yet.

And for some reason, you had suddenly decided that you wanted Jake to see that you were the bigger person in all of this. It should mean nothing for him to see you in a positive light. He was the last person who deserved it. But, killing with kindness could be good revenge.

Josh knew you and knew that your snappy attitude was due to being so hurt already. He knew you felt your feelings to an incredible degree. He got it because he did, too. You knew all of this.

Josh still had a pensive look on his smooth features. His brows were knitted, lips still squished as he thought through what he wanted to say.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he eventually said.

You waited a few beats for him to say more. And when he decided to look straight ahead instead of at you, you got impatient.

“That’s it?” You sat up on your elbows, eyeing your curly-headed friend.

“I–,” he stopped, contemplating. “I just can’t get into it. All I can say is that you’ve gotta give him time.”

You scoffed at him. “Give him time?” You shook your head, looking around your room. The lights were still on, neither of you thinking to turn them off. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

“Y/N.”

“Joshua.”

He sighed, rubbing his finger and thumb over his forehead. It was obvious he was rubbing to alleviate the stress you were causing him and you instantly felt bad – for another reason entirely. Jake was not his fault. He might have been his twin, but it had become glaringly obvious that they were quite different. And Jake’s assholery was not Josh’s burden to bear.

“I’m sorry, Josh,” you relented some of your anger. You knew Josh was feeling a lot at that moment and you didn’t want to put one more thing on his already-full emotional tray. He was an empath, after all, and today had surely tested his limits.

“It’s okay, Y/N. I’m not upset with you for feeling the way you’re feeling,” he looked at you again. He put a hand on your comforter-covered thigh, squeezing it slightly. “I just–it’s hard for me when I love you both so much and know the potential of a friendship that could blossom between the two of you if he wasn’t–,” he placed a palm to his forehead. “He’s being rude, yes, but he is going through so much. I know I’ve said it already, but that's all I know to say. I can’t be the one to explain the whole reason why. It’s not my story. It’s his.”

You worded your previous thoughts aloud, “He isn’t your burden to bear and neither am I.”

He grinned slightly, lifting his cheek enough to actually show his dimple. But his eyes were still forlorn. “I appreciate that, love.”

You knew your words hadn’t been the most comforting, but you were emotionally exhausted from the day and you just couldn’t put complete thoughts together anymore. The sleep was finally weighing you down, and you struggled to keep your eyes open in Josh’s direction. There was no talking, just stillness. It was nice. It was much needed for both of you after the night.

Comfortable silence.

He went in and kissed your cheek.

Your relationship with Josh was completely platonic, but you were both people who communicated through touch. And considering how it was Josh’s main love language, it was natural for the two of you to be affectionate with little touches.

“It will all work out,” he said, breaking the silence. “You can trust that he is a good person underneath the hardened exterior.”

You huffed a laugh under your breath, your eyes drooping. Your lids were entirely too heavy. “I trust you, Josh. But, I’ll have to give him time to prove himself,” you felt yourself nod off a bit –just for a second. You blinked your eyes open as wide as you could to look at him, feeling bad that you were losing to sleep. “I’m just not too hopeful he will.”

He hummed, surely in thought. “I’ll let you go to sleep,” he gave your thigh a final squeeze. “Goodnight, lovely friend.”

You were almost completely in slumberland, but could tell when he lifted off the bed. You squinted your eyes, refusing to let sleep evade you. You just wanted to rest. You could see through your half-lidded eyes when he turned off the lights.

You listened as he left through the front door. And you heard him lock the regular lock and deadbolt with his key.

Your last thoughts as you fell asleep were of the last wonderful days alone you’d had in your apartment.

So long, peaceful home.

So long, normality.

_ _ _

notes:

here is the doc that will have pics added to it as the story progresses!

i really hope you enjoyed this first chapter of Covet! Let me know if you'd like to be tagged for future chapters.

taglist: @joshym @gretavanfleetposts

#jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka #josh kiszka #gvf #greta van fleet fic #josh kiszka fic #sam kiszka #danny wagner #greta van fleet #jake kiszka smut #jake fic #covet #my fics

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steampunkishfoxes · 3 months

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Clara Carmine headcanons

Note: I'm new to the fan content scene on Tumblr, still figuring things out! I’m going to be making headcanons based on different fictional characters I adore, from different franchises/fandoms!

Clara Carmine is the daughter of Carmilla Carmine, one of the overlords in the series Hazbin Hotel on Amazon Prime. She’s one of my favourite characters and I wanted to dedicate my first headcanon post to her! Clara only has about 10-15 seconds of screen time, and one spoken line, but I adore her!

NSFW/SFW, Mature themes: discussion of death, discussion of cartels, discussions of weapons and violence, discussion of murder and a planned attack on a family, family themes, sexuality, pronouns, discussions of blood.

PERSONALITY HEADCANONS.

The following headcanons discuss what I think she would’ve been like on earth and what she’s like in hell.

-Clara is the younger of the two sisters, about 18 years of age physically, her soul is around 25 years old.

-She identifies as a demigirl, with she/they pronouns.

-She used to struggle a lot with her sexuality, she never really saw the fun in boys, but never paid attention to girls either. With help from her sister she found out she was lesbian around the age of 16 on earth.

-She looks a lot like her father, but her personality is more like her mother.

-Fluent in English, Spanish and French, though she’s attempted to learn Portuguese too.

-She’s fiercely protective over Odette, when the two were in school on earth Clara was always the one who stood up for her older sister when she was bullied.

-She hasn’t lost her confidence after finding herself in hell. She isn’t afraid to fight any demon that hurts her sister or mother, but doesn’t often get the chance to fight because of Carmilla’s protective and motherly nature.

-In the Carmine weapons business she takes the role of delivery girl alongside her sister Odette.

-In her free time she plays music, she has a customised guitar she uses to write and record her own song covers- this girl can SING!

-She’s very active on Sinstagram, posting music covers for any listening ear.

-Clara owns one soul, a lackey from the cartel she worked for on earth, who came to the Carmines for protection.

ROOM HEADCANONS.

Because every demon needs a safe place to call home, these are the headcanons I have for Clara’s room in the Carmine Mansion, down in hell!

-Clara’s room has slate blue walls and is covered with posters and pictures, most of them depicting her family. She has a large family picture of her, her mother and sister in front of their business on her ceiling above her bed, so she can look up at it every night.

-She has a queen sized bed with matte royal blue covers and a lot of pillows.

-She has a wolf plushie, affectionately named Wolfie, which she’s had since she was 2 years old. Wolfie has a top hat and bowtie.

!!MATURE THEMES AHEAD!!: discussion of death, discussion of cartels, discussions of weapons and violence, discussion of murder and a planned attack on a family.

The following headcanons discuss the surroundings of Clara’s death.

Family headcanon: Carmilla’s ex husband left her shortly after Clara’s birth, leaving her with two young daughters in a broken city in Mexico. Carmilla entered the weapons business, working for a well known and dangerous cartel. She started out delivering weapons but learned how to make them for a bigger payout. As her daughters grew up, she took bigger, more risky jobs to be able to protect them. One night a rival gang broke into their house and killed the family in cold blood.

-Clara was the first of Carmilla’s daughters to find out about her mother’s secret job, finding her making weapons in the garage when she was about 12 years old. Carmilla asked her to stay silent, but Clara told her older sister immediately.

-She was also the first to enter the family business, stealing a package Carmilla was supposed to deliver to the cartel. Clara delivered it instead and used the money she earned to buy her mother a birthday present. Carmilla told her not to do that, but reluctantly let Clara help with simple, risk free deliveries. Clara was 15.

-Clara befriended one of the cartel members, a bodyguard.

-Clara was the first one to die in the attack. When she was 19, her mother and sister were asleep after watching a movie. Clara was dozing off when she was startled wide awake by pounding on the door.

-Before she could even open it, the door was kicked open, hitting her in the head. She fell, her and her family were quickly grabbed and restrained.

-Clara was dizzy from the hit and confused, she vaguely heard shouting and crying.

-The last thing she saw as a human was her family, her mother’s and sister's faces as she was shot in the chest, the first death in the Carmine home invasion. Clara was 18 when she died.

-Clara’s cause of death was determined to be blunt force trauma to the head, and a fatal shot to the heart.

-She hides the shot mark under her shirt, ashamed of the moment she let her guard down.

LIKES/DISLIKES HEADCANONS.

Foods, colours, animals, and everything in between!

-Food: Anything spicy is a big hit! She hates bland and boring food and will often add peppers or some kind of hot sauce for that perfect kick with every meal! Except for breakfast, she’ll never try cereal with hot sauce again.

-Colours: Black, dark shades of green and blue. She’s not a fan of red, reminding her of the blood she saw on her hands when she died.

-Animals: Wolves, wolves, WOLVES! She loves any canine but mostly wolves! They remind her of how fiercely protective she is over her family! She doesn’t like birds, they creep her out.

-Music: Besides her own music, she loves music from her heritage! Flamenco, salsa, she’ll listen and sing along to it all! Classical music is a BORE though, it always makes her so sleepy.

-Movies: She was never huge on movies, but when she was little, she always watched the movie Balto, dreaming of snow. She hates movies with blood, it reminds her of her own weakness.

-A weird collection she has: Heart shaped stuff! If she’s out in the city and she sees a cool rock shaped vaguely like a heart, she’ll pocket it and show it to her family at home, some of her hearts are questionable, but she loves it all!

-A guilty pleasure: Watching the sunset from her balcony. It’s quiet and simple, she’s loved it since she was a kid.

-Her biggest fear: Being unable to try and protect her family, like when she died. She can’t handle the weak, pathetic feeling, she may have panic attacks when thinking about it.

CHARACTER HEADCANONS

How does Clara fall into the ensemble of hell? Who would she bond with, and who would she hate?

-Who from the entire cast would she hate the most?

The Vees, mainly Velvette, because of how she treats her mother.

-If she met the Hazbin Hotel staff and inhabitants, who would she bond with?

Vaggie, both are strong souls with a tragic past!

-Who would she most likely have a song with? About what?

With her mother and sister, a song about protecting each other no matter what, almost like an “Out for love” reprise

Thank you for reading all the way through!! I’m planning on making way more headcanons in the future! Feel free to ask for specific characters/headcanons in the comments!

A list of future projects:

-Odette Carmine

-Carmilla Carmine

-Zestial Morde

-Lute

-Adam

#carmilla carmine #clara carmine #odette carmine #hazbin hotel

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copperbadge · 1 year

Note

Of course it’s perfectly ok to enjoy “Stealing Harry”; the clue is right there in the title: STEALING Harry. It’s a TRANSFORMATIONAL work, full of characters whose sexual identity and attitudes would make Rowling tear her hair out. The lovely disclaimer on the front helpfully spreads the word about Rowling and her anti-trans fuckery. C’est parfait! 😘

Back when I was a much more dramatic young man, the very first description of Stealing Harry from the website I kept it on at the time read "Stealing Harry grabs canon by the throat and disembowels it." :D

I've always had a slightly contentious relationship to the canon, although it wasn't nearly as contentious before I started writing Laocoon's Children, because that involved reading and disassembling the (at the time) five books available, to try and reroute them through this more idealized alternate universe. It really showed me where the flaws were in the books, where Rowling was pleasing herself instead of serving the story, where things fell apart for one reason or another.

It's easy to hit such low-hanging fruit as JK Rowling these days but every author, in every book, does this, so it's not like she's unique; Rex Stout once said that nothing corrupts a man so thoroughly as writing a book (he wrote forty of them). So it's not like I'm a paragon, I do this too; there are places in Twelve Points right now where I'm literally asking myself "Should I fix this or can I play the Romance Novels Aren't Perfect card?"

But when you are doing such close analysis you do really start to see the ugliness early, which is why I mostly disengaged from the universe -- the canon, the fanfic, the fandom -- around when book six came out. There were things I was struggling to reconcile, and I realized I wanted to be working with different canons. Just as well, or book seven would absolutely have devastated me. As it was, I read it once, went "Huh," wrote one fanfic, and then walked away.

Still, I'm proud of what I did in the fandom, the stories I told -- most of them, anyway -- and the things I learned from it. Without my early Harry Potter fanfic I would never have developed the readership I have, and I don't know how I would have found community without that. So, you take the good with the bad. And if I have to have a couple of famous Harry Potter fanfics, at least the really well-known ones are almost universally "I thought canon was lame so I fixed it."

#transphobia #harry potter #jk rowling

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irrealisms · 1 month

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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let's spread the self-love 💞

tagged by: @erstwhilesparrow

the autopsy garland -- dsmp hunger games au about rpf fandom and the horrors of celebrity. parts of it have aged poorly--it's about, in part, both the fandom and hatedom surrounding cc!dream and the dream smp as a whole, and also unrelatedly it's about sexual abuse, and, uh, it was published before the dream situation let alone any of the ones that came after it, i have no clue what it'd look like if i wrote it now but certainly it would look wildly different--but i'm still so fucking proud of it. the epistolary sections. the bits of canon dialogue. threading the line between "this guy did awful awful things" and "holy shit, the stuff happening to him is not okay to do to anyone"

between the moth and the moon -- lifesteal, a gentle moment between vitalasy & zam. i wrote this one bc i needed zam to tell vitalasy i mourned you. it's a missing scene and it's one i needed and it's gentle and soft and bittersweet and i go reread it whenever i'm sad about them (this is often)

i don't have the heart to match -- mdzs, my Trans Woman Jiang Cheng Manifesto. there is something so special in my heart for yunmeng shuangjie and jc's issues about wei wuxian and Duty and jealousy and. and. man

Your Body Is Not A Word -- tma fic about s4 jonathan sims exchanging sex for statements. it's about sexual trauma and it's about starving and it's about being both victim and monster and it's about not really being able to believe in the dialectic there and it's about making choices that hurt yourself because you don't having any good options left and not-doing-anything hurts too.

whatever a moon has always meant -- indis/míriel silmarillion fic which is nominally about LaCE and in practice about Catholic sexual ethics & the Catholic outlook more broadly. it's also about grief and doubt and a lot of other things but it's very very Catholic and struggling with that Catholicism. it gets kind of ... pretentious? overwrought in a very teenage fashion? at times, but the core of it is very important to me. considered doing one of my númenor or maedhros fics here instead, there's some good stuff there as well, but. idk. this one's got a soft spot in my heart and it's less Relentlessly Fucking Depressing lol

tagging: @consumptive-sphinx , @blocksgame , @honeyblockm , @peninkwrites , @crimeboys

#i gave myself a bit of an extra challenge of doing one favorite fic per fandom #which was fun but Not Required #writing tag #my writing #ish #therapists dni

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angstigone · 2 months

Text

𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐬 (𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡)

the title is a lyric from the song 'everybody talks' by neon trees

𝗛𝗮𝘆𝗮𝗸𝗮𝘄𝗮 𝗔𝗸𝗶 𝘅 𝗡𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗵𝗯𝗼𝗿! 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 (+ 𝗗𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗶 & 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿)

(A/N): hello there, lovelies!

alrightie, I am... I am not going to lie, aki dragged me into this fandom as well, as I have been thinking of slowly getting more into animes, now that I feel less the social struggle of it. still, I hope you'll enjoy this silly little thing and I have another fic with neighbor! reader (an au of sorts, far angstier as it's my usual).

so, pls, if you enjoyed this, pls consider leaving a like, a comment or a reblog and I'd appreciate it a whole loooottt!

SUMMARY: «Alright… alright… let’s take this from another perspective» he started again while Power got her own drink, having Denji open it for her as it ruined the pretty nails you had painted for her��… Hayakawa is a huge pain in our ass, isn’t he».

«He is» Power relented as she duked her head low in obvious displeasure.

«… but…» and Denji held up a finger in utter conviction «… if he got laid! Then the problem would be solved! And he doesn’t seem the type to bang somebody he meets in a bar… or he’d have probably hit it off with Himeno by now… don’t you think?».

Power seemed to consider it for a moment and right when Denji thought that his partner got it, she screeched. «I don’t see how getting laid might solve it!» and after a moment of meditation «… laying down in the bed might help him but…!».

«I don’t mean laying down like that!».

what happens when a fiend and a chainsaw man gets together to make their squad leader and you, his neighbor, happy?

WARNINGS: fluff, (bad) matchmaking, denji and power playing cupid, not canon compliant (himeno doesn't have a crush on aki) and the characters might be slightly ooc, getting together, requited unrequited love, unresolved sexual and romantic tension, mentioned sexual harassment, 5+1 things, jealousy, idiots in love, reader genre is not specified but a few characters reference them being a lady.

Denji might have been considered an idiot by the large variety of the adults around him, but he did notice things.

Such as the way topknot would always be more smiley and far more relaxed whenever you – his adorable neighbor – were around the house, by now living there more than in your own apartment.

Not that he minded the thing in itself: you were kind, not focused onto hunting devils and baked him and Power a treat every weekend.

You were also pretty.

Not on Mrs. Makima’s pretty level, certainly, but Denji had stolen a look as you leaned a bit too close to Hayakawa, brushing accidentally your chest against either his own or his back and God, did the stern head of the squad blushed worse than a teen.

In conclusion, you two were in love but somehow far too stubborn to admit and this where he and Power came to play:

«Think about it!» he muttered as he Power were outside for their patrol stroll, in the service area waiting for their sugary drink «… if they came more often… we’d have treats more often… and I know just how much you love them!».

Denji had also noticed the way that Power, who thought humans all beneath her, was almost warm with you; certainly, eccentric and bold but after having witnessed Nyako brushing against your legs on your first meeting, she had grown much mellower around you, rubbing against you as the cat did and somehow… purring.

Denji had by now stopped trying to police Power’s behavior, still he thought that in this case it was favorable to his general idea, although his friend remained as stoic as ever, even going as far as showing him her tongue.

«Why should we help some humans?» she grimaced lightly as Denji grabbed his beverage from the vending machine «… if they are too stupid to notice their obvious feelings for each other… why should we meddle?».

«Because it’d be fun!» Denji promptly intervened although he understood they had two very different – and violent – definitions of fun and his first argument didn’t have much effect on Power «… and it’d mean that we might get more treats… as I was saying».

«We could simply imprison them in the apartment, and they’d be forced to make us treats»

Power’s mind never failed to amaze – and scare – Denji who simply shook off his head.

«Alright… alright… let’s take this from another perspective» he started again while Power got her own drink, having Denji open it for her as it ruined the pretty nails you had painted for her«… Hayakawa is a huge pain in our ass, isn’t he».

«He is» Power relented as she duked her head low in obvious displeasure.

Power seemed to consider it for a moment and right when Denji thought that his partner got it, she screeched.

«I don’t see how getting laid might solve it!» and after a moment of meditation «… laying down in the bed might help him but…!».

«I don’t mean laying down like that!».

Denji was growing frustrated, unable to explain to power the utter genius behind his plan, clutching his head tightly in his hands as he slowly crumped on his ass against the wall.

«… God, almost… almost pretend I didn’t say anything, I just… thought it’d be fun… and it might get us a bit more of treat and kindness from topknot».

And right as he was losing all hope, Power leaned against him to be at his height, smiling what seemed a pure devious smile.

«… it’s going to be fun?» and at Denji’s obvious nod she cheered almost as if she had been told that she had won the Nobel Prize «… why didn’t you, immediately, say so?!».

And like that Denji’s and Power’s partnership started up to get you and Aki together.

First action: getting rid of the competition.

«… shouldn’t we also get rid of Mrs. Makima?» Power asked as she and Denji stared off Aki’s window to look at the entrance to the apartment building, waiting for your arrival.

It had been a few days that they had met you as they returned from their patrol with a man that you had presented as one of your colleagues.

Still, the way said man flustered whenever you’d chat him up was definitely a sign that he could be a rival to Hayakawa and they couldn’t have that.

«No!» promptly Denji protested, ripping himself from the window, where he was staring through the cones made by his hands.

«Why?» Power questioned also disrupting her watchful gaze on the entrance «… didn’t you say that the topknot has a crush on her?».

And that was also another reason why Denji wanted for you and Aki to get together: if you got together then Aki wasn’t anymore a threat to his conquer of Mrs. Makima.

«Well…» obviously he couldn’t have said that to Power after he had convinced her that what they were doing for the greater good «… well! It’s because we all know that Hayawak has zero… zero chances with Mrs. Makima!».

Power seemed to consider it for a moment before a grim smile appeared on her face.

«… and we would have zero chances of intimidating Mrs. Makima, considering she’s as scary as a bath in the middle of the day» the blood fiend commented, her voice showing the obvious fear they felt towards their leader and Denji couldn’t help but agree by taking a huge intake of saliva, and noticing that you had come back.

Annoying suitor on your tail.

«Hey!» he called out to Power who had noticed the same thing and was barely able to contain the excitement she felt «… let’s go with the next phase of the part, alright?».

And just like that they both rushed to the entrance of the building, waiting hidden that you’d be passing and going up to your apartment, and then they rushed out of the gates with matching mischievous smiles on their face as they were switch, to catch up with your colleague.

He looked the least aware possible of a fiend and a chainsaw devil following him but so wouldn’t be for long as both Denji and Power came to stand in front of him, blocking him from walking further and right as he moved to the side to avoid them, they both matched his step, stopping him in his walk.

Now Denji knew that he wasn’t that scary – and he couldn’t exactly evoke the chainsaws as he knew that Mrs. Makima would have been disappointed with him – but Power had horns.

And even more importantly: a crazy personality.

The poor man seemed already startled as he took a step back, mumbling something that seemed like apologies and just like that Power started rolling.

«Yes! Yes, stupid human, apologize!».

Well, Power shouldn’t have definitely tried for the Nobel Prize when she might have as well won an Oscar for her thrilling performance as she moved closer to the backing away human who looked halfway through running away but, Denji was right there for it, by pushing himself to the shoulders of the man to cut off his escape rout.

«… hey! I am talking to you! Shit of a human!».

«I… I… I…» and pathetically the man went to his knees.

Denji would have felt bad for the man, hadn’t it been for the fact that they were doing this for the greater good: letting Hayakawa have a stable sex life.

«… don’t know… I… am sorry if I…».

«That woman…» now Power had moved closer to the man, lowering herself to further tower over him while Denji made sure to close all the areas around him «… you must let her go! Don’t you understand!».

He looked confused for a moment, before saying your name almost questioningly and that’s when Power evoked her blood hammer, a good scenography bonus that had the man widen his eyes as his arms went to his head waiting for a bow.

«Don’t! Speak! Her! Name!».

With each word, Power smacked the hammer against the palm of her hand and although he hadn’t been hit, he convulsed on the floor as if he had.

Like a pig

«… and don’t ever… ever! Don’t ever come close to her! Understood?».

«But…» he tried to protest although another smack of the blood hammer against Power’s awaiting hand was enough to have him shut up promptly.

«You aren’t to come closer to her than a…» and scrunching her brows at Denji who was holding up five fingers, she went to add «… than at least seven meters! You understand me, silly, stupid human?».

The man nodded heavily and clearly scared for his life and Denji couldn’t help to think that – aside Power’s lack in math – they might have taken the game a tad too far especially as Power was laughing maniacally, spurred on by the man’s terror.

«… alright…» he tried to lean in the thing, by letting the man’s back be free and going to retrieve poor Power, who wasn’t satisfied as she was dragged away by Denji before a crowd could form around the crying man.

«… and I’ll know it! I’ll know it if you come close! Understood?» she was definitely having far too much time on this «… you silly… silly… humannnn».

So, it shouldn’t have surprised that although you reported that your affectionate colleague had suddenly started distancing himself from you – “it’s strange as he was always insistent on walking me home if anything happened, when we finished late” – to Aki, who comforted you – a victory in both Power’s and Denji’s eyes – they got an horrible reprimand – and their sugar privileges revoked – because apparently a fiend and a blond-haired boy had been reported threatening an honest neighbor.

Well, who said victory tasted sweet was wrong.

According to the magazine that he had forced Power to buy for them – something called Teen Vogue with a quiz that told you whether you were a pea, chickpea, or a banana but also a lot of photos of hot celebrities – what got a couple to form was spending time together.

Now, you and Aki didn’t spend too much time together, mostly because you both were hard-workers and especially in the last period neither you nor Aki had been in each other’s apartment at the same time, forcing Power and Denji to take extreme measures, as they had to force you to stay together.

You had come over ahead of time as you had wanted Power and Denji to try a treat that you had done in your free time and to wait Hayakawa’s return at home – according to Power, you, two, were already disgustingly domestic – and although you’d have stayed a few hours to chat with Aki and might have stayed even for dinner, they needed you to spend more time immediately.

Hence while Power distracted you with Nyako, Denji stole your apartment keys from your purse and flushed them; he hadn’t exactly thought the whole thing through, especially as you panicked once while checking your purse after dinner – they both celebrated Aki being the one to ask you to stay for dinner – and didn’t find the keys, worried that you might have lost them or left them inside of the house.

You were panicking and again Power and Denji celebrated because Hayakawa was so sweet with you, calming you down with his usual neutral tone and helping you focus on where you might have last left them.

“I swear they were in my purse!” you promptly repeated, and you were right, hadn’t it been for two special busybodies who feigned utter focus in searching the entire house, although eventually a universal truth was delivered: you must have lost your keys.

The landlady would give you a copy in the afternoon and you now needed a place to stay, for the night.

As you were flipping through some contacts, Denji pipped up the discourse he had readied for himself that afternoon while making sure that the keys would be properly flushed out.

«Why don’t you stay here?».

He even made his puppy eyes.

He had thought of being the one saying something this time, especially as Power had gone a bit… overboard the last time.

«… I mean… I am sure that topknot will agree… it’s… late and if anything happened… God forbids a demon.. or…».

And he had expected sweet and dependable Aki to join in, but the man had just lowered his head in an obvious dismissal.

Didn’t he have a heart for poor you who’d be forced to walk in the dark?

«… it’d be terrible if anything happened to you» he stepped up on the subtlety as Power joined in and nodded eagerly and tried to have Nyako do the same in a show of support «… and we have… we have a lot of space and… I mean you’d be forced tosleepwithHayakawa because Power is a very delicate sleeper and… I am a teenager boy, and it wouldn’t do…».

«That’s very kind, Denji» you sufficed softly with a gentle smile, before nodding to your phone «… but I have a friend who lives in the apartment complex right beside this one and…».

«But you might never know» God, Denji couldn’t believe that Power was able to act like that «… humans… you are puny, and I have heard of a fiend terrorizing the neighborhood. They… well… they apparently terrorized this silly-looking and coward man…».

«Power».

Oh, finally Aki did speak, although it wasn’t the ‘oh please, stay! Stay forever if you want’ that Denji had been expecting.

«… did you… did you… flush all the toilette paper confection?».

And right as Denji was trying to understand the reasoning behind such a crass comment and Power was about to defend herself from such a vileaccuse – it had also happened once – he noticed that Aki hadn’t been looking at his shoes but to the water erupting from behind the bath door.

That’s how Denji discovered that you shouldn’t – ever – flush keys in the WC.

The silver lining of it all was the fact that the toilette did push out your keys – and other stuff – and hence you did have them back, while Denji, Power and Aki were forced to sleep at your apartment while they waited for somebody to fix the toilette.

Oh, and apparently Nyako being blamed didn’t seem believable, so their sugar privileges were revoked for another week.

«Hear me out!».

Denji hadn’t relented the plan; he didn’t care that it had gotten him deprived of his candies – both you and Mrs. Makima had sneaked him some – when the purpose of his actions was far more glorious.

And he had come to collect further information about how a couple came to be, especially from experts.

«You want to push them together?» Himeno had asked as both Denji and Power had come to her asking for help.

A horrible decision considering how annoying and crass the woman could be, but Mrs. Makima was out of question and Kishibe would have laughed right in their face, something that Hmeno had done as well.

Then she had spoken to be useful.

«… alright, alright» she had settled brushing her hair off her face with her invisible hand «… you, then, need to make Aki jealous».

At that both Power and Denji had seemed utterly confused: how did making Aki jealous of you would have helped you forming a couple?

Still, Himeno had promptly illuminated them.

«It’s what always happens in romcom» she explained with the air of an expert, although the fact that she quoted movies should have been a huge red flag to her flawed reasoning «… whenever the guy realizes that somebody is threatening their girl… well, he also concludes that he can’t live without her. That he loves her».

And in both Denji’s and Power’s book that perfectly made sense.

Now the difficult part was making Aki jealous; he didn’t seem bothered by anything who could offer a threat to you?

Considering they didn’t have much choice, Denji and Power had to be the ones.

That day you had decided to spend it together with Aki, Denji and Power grocery shopping, which was already a nice start because whenever you’d be around the head of the squad would be far more lenient of the two troublemakers.

Your own good mood rubbing off him, as Power and Denji raced through the aisles on the shopping cart.

Still, this time they hadn’t come to play.

Denji and Power exchanged a swift look and so it began.

«Mrs.!» Denji asked gaining your attention but also the one of Hayakawa who looked at him as one would do to a bug.

An ugly bug right on their toilette roof.

«… did you do something to your hair?».

You looked taken aback, flustering lightly but mostly because you seemed taken aback by the question.

«Ahem… I… washed them… this morning?».

«Oh» he feigned innocence as Aki’s distrustful gaze became more evident and he felt like he might have been on the right road, especially delighted that Hayakawa would feel threatened by somebody like him «… it looks better than the usual».

And although he had meant it as a compliment, it didn’t sound like that as promptly Aki shook his head with a huff while you regarded Denji with a kind but a bit startled smile, saying nothing but a lukewarm ‘thank you’.

As you and Aki turned to focus on the grocery shopping, Power flicked his forehead and muttered:

“Let me try” and before Denji could say anything, she was off to your side.

«Mrs.!» she called out to you as you smiled gently to her «…you are the smartest human, I know».

Shit, Denji cursed himself for not having thought about that, all too focused on the physical side.

He had thought hair to be a safe zone, but he had been so wrong as your smile promptly brightened on your face and you went to gently put a hand over Power’s shoulder, right as the girl opened her mouth again, ruining everything.

«… I mean… you are still pretty stupid, because I saw you falling on your ass that one time while trying to carry all those grocery bags on your own».

And just like that your easygoing smile was gone replaced by an embarrassed expression while Power turned to Denji to show her his tongue, considering it a victory.

«Power!» Aki reprimanded her promptly, waggling a finger, although he also turned to you with a sober expression «… and please, don’t hesitate to ask for me when you need to carry something heavy… you do live a floor above us and with the elevator not yet fixed…».

You, further, flustered at Aki’s suggestion and although it wasn’t due to the whole jealousy thing, it seemed like you and Aki were now talking.

«I… I mean… I didn’t want to disturb you and…» you looked to your shoes «… you weren’t at home».

«Then please feel free to ask Power and Denji, as they are always not doing anything» and just like that the intimate moment was destroyed and Power and Denji got another reprimand, although this time they hadn’t done anything.

Both Denji and Power relented from the jealousy program the entire grocery store run, thinking it was stupid and neither of them were equipped to have Aki jealous and thinking about it, Hayakawa hadn’t seem even bothered by your colleague accompanying you.

Was it possible that they had seen wrong, and he wasn’t interested in you?

All their hard work couldn’t be for nothing, could it?

As they were panicking – or better Denji was panicking and Power plotting her world domination dream – in the grocery shop parking lot, they witnessed a scene that reinforced their resolution; you were filling the back of the truck with the grocery while Aki was smoking a cigarette a bit far away hidden by the car, when a guy approached you.

Neither Power nor Denji were minding him any attention, till they heard Aki’s voice.

«Leave the lady alone».

And just like that, they both moved their eyes to where the man had grabbed onto your wrist with you looking utterly at unease and clearly wanting to be anywhere but there.

Aki had appeared right in front of the scene and had pushed himself in front of you, right in the line of the man.

«… she said she isn’t interested».

«And who’d you be, dude?» the man asked as both Denji and Power were startled by the fact that man made perfect pristine asshole Hayakawa tick in a way that they hadn’t been able to in a long time «… I was just fucking talk with her».

«And I said I wasn’t interested» you reiterated, clearly at unease, at which both Denji and Power came closer.

Now they might be disasters in relationships but they had no qualms in helping topknot kick this dude to the curb as he had come onto you, the person who baked goods to them and treated them like two teens and not an adult and a monster.

Still, Aki had it promptly handled as the man didn’t seem ready to release your wrist, hence he twisted it in a way that hurt him and wouldn’t bother you, effectively getting him to release his hold and once he had done such a thing, he slammed that same fist in the dude’s face with an agility that gave Denji the chills.

And so happened to the man who had tried to approach you.

«Scram».

It was said in such a neutral tone that suddenly Denji thought that he was face with all too powerful demon and not topknot.

Thankfully it wasn’t direct towards him as the man got the message and left you alone, your wrist still clutched – far more gently – in Aki’s hand as he took a moment to caress it before turning to you.

«Everything alright?».

You nodded painfully out of breath and red in the cheeks, although Denji reasoned that both reactions weren’t due to collusion, but to Aki treating you tenderly as his whole face and demeanor softened turning upon you.

«… he didn’t hurt you, right?».

«Not really» you explained with a soft-spoken tone as if you didn’t want anybody to hear the words aside Aki. As if it was just the two of you «… I… it was so kind of you to intervene, Aki. I am sorry that you had to… though… God, I don’t think it has ever happened to me in sunlight and in the center of a parking lot!».

«It shouldn’t happen at all» Aki commented categorically before he finally snapped back from his reverie, letting your wrist go that fell limp between the two of you as if it hadn’t been ready to let go «… and it wouldn’t have happened if those busybodies had helped you with the groceries! Instead of minding their business!».

Why was it that whenever he tried to do anything for the greater good, Denji got kicked in the metaphorical – and not – balls?

Slowly Denji was losing faith: his own ideas didn’t work, advice on magazine didn’t work and this was the last time that he listened to Himeno.

He didn’t know how to bring you and Aki to kiss kiss make up.

Was it possible that he was simply not meant… to work the greater good?

Unless, obviously with the greater good you meant the gun demon and the possibility to have his wish grant by Mrs. Makima.

Or maybe it wasn’t his fault: you and Aki were just a desperate case, stealing longing gazes to each other and never acting upon your emotions. Although it seemed like something had changed at work, as Himeno had sneakily told them, since Aki had seemed quite… unfocused and constantly checking his phone which meant – according to the older woman – that he was texting you.

Denji and Power had once tried to steal Hayakawa’s phone, but they had soon risked of finding Aki’s katana shoved up their asses at such infractions and had immediately given up such a thing.

Maybe they should have just stopped and minded their own business as it seemed like this was what best suited the situation.

And Denji was minding his business, looking lightly gloomy as you tried to teach – with little results – to Power how to make cupcakes as she had insisted that she wanted them now and to ease her tantrum you had opted to have her do them with you, while Aki settled the laundry and Denji comfortably lazed around.

Looking gloomy which you immediately noticed.

«Anything of the matter, Denji?» you asked as you left Power to press the baking solution in the mold, trusting that she wouldn’t coat the entire kitchenette with it «… you are looking a bit sad, my dear».

«Eh?» he kissed lightly his teeth, wondering what lie he could come up with to cover the fact that he felt disappointed because his genius plan of bringing you and Aki wasn’t working. Still, Aki answered for him.

«He’s just grumpy because he hasn’t been given enough attention» he hissed almost disgusted with Denji although they were past now the initial hatred «… Mrs. Makima was disappointed with him because he doesn’t seem focused».

«I could say the same to you» Denji whimpered through a lowered octave enough not to be heard by Aki, as you came closer.

«Still, trying to catch Mrs. Makima’s attention?» you lightly teased him, settling in front of him «… isn’t she a bit too old for you?».

«She’s a tad too much for him» Aki muttered happily, as this time Denji flipped him off.

«Oh no need to be mean, Aki!» you called out to him gently, before grabbing both of Denji’s hands and pushing him to his feet «… if you want I can teach you a sure way to impress Mrs. Makima, alright?».

And just like that Denji’s eyes brightened as he nodded eagerly.

You smiled, always gentle and reassuring.

Thinking about it, you were far too much for the old grumpy man, Aki and maybe the universe was doing you a favor by not allowing you to be together with topknot.

«… I’ll teach you how to dance, alright».

And like that you were swift to put one of Denji’s hands on top of your shoulder and another on your waist, just shy of your lower back and enough to have the poor boy flustered, huffing, and wondering whether he could die from the simple contact.

It got even worse when you pulled him closer with a hairline distance between your body before starting to tut a rhythm.

«… now usually it’s the man that guides… which is an antiquated thought, but… oh well, I am blabbering. I’ll guide this time».

And like that you twirled Denji and all the exactment he had felt for the closeness of a hot female body was gone, busy as he was to keep his balance at rhea sudden move much to your chagrin.

«Alright, we’ll start slow» you proclaimed, adjusting the rhythm as you moved up and down and then side-to-side showing Denji all the base moves, although he kept on not getting the full hang of it, stumbling a bit while you patiently repeated the move before a disgruntled Power claimed her own turn at the ‘dance contest’.

Only once pushed back again on the sofa, Denji noticed the way Aki’s lips had lightly quirked up in a pleasant smile, as if he was genuinely happy.

He looked almost… peaceful, which was a weird sight to see on his face and Denji wondered whether something awful would be happening all too soon.

The oven beeped and you separated from Power, who apparently was better than Denji at dancing, to get the muffins and just like that it seemed like the dance contest was finished, everybody all too happy to enjoy the sugary treats while you praised Power for helping you make them, although her help had been abysmal unless you counted the mess in the kitchen that neither of the troublemakers helped clean, leaving it to you and Aki as they took their turns in the bath.

Denji, feeling a bit bad, went to see whether he could help you after his shower – and not totally because he wanted to smuggle another muffin – but as he came in sight of the kitchen he was startled to find a soft music playing in the background alongside your giggles as – ever serious – Aki twirled you with much more ease than you had done with Power and Denji.

He was far better than Power and Denji as a partner and again, he looked genuinely amused as you joined in the general hilarity something akin to intimacy being reached between the two of you as Denji promptly turned around, thinking to have witnessed something far too private for his sight, although he regretfully had to let go of his muffins since Power had no shame and stole his own.

Suddenly spurred on by the kitchen memory, Power and Denji decided one last attempt: they had recently gone to the cinema with Mrs. Makima, a memory that the boy treasured dearly in their heart, but both he and Power had especially been hit by a scene of the movie where the main couple exchanged a romantic dinner, using it to confess each other’s feelings.

And just like that Denji and Power had their own final plan.

If it didn’t work, you’d have to handle your own, you and topknot. Denji did like you both, but the next step was just to smash your head together and scream ‘now kiss’, an idea he wasn’t especially fond considering that while Aki would have straight up killed them, you would have stopped baking them any good.

So, the dinner it was.

After all, how hard could a dinner be?

Very, apparently.

Ordering everything from a nearby shop had been an idea, but neither he nor Power had enough money having mostly spent it in magazines, candies, and drinks on their patrols.

So, they had to improvise and neither of them had the skills to cook.

Empowered by the muffins episode, Power insisted to prepare the dessert, leaving Denji to the main course.

Naturally he had read somewhere that some specific foods could be used to put people in the mood and God knows how much Hayakawa needed to fuck.

Hence without thinking he had thought of making an omelet with asparagus and saffron as he had both the things at home.

The problem started with the eggs; they were difficult to crack without the external shell not going in them and when it came to cook the eggs, he had a bit of difficulty in turning them as he had seen in TV, burning every and each one he tried, till he obtained a somewhat nice result.

The asparagus didn’t help, and the saffron stole the entire flavor of the thing, as Denji dutifully tasted the meal to assure it’d be up to your taste.

He couldn’t serve such a thing and yet, there wasn’t anything else he could have offered for the romantic dinner.

He turned to Power, hoping she had succeeded in something, just to see her trying to use Nyako as a rolling pin, effectively contaminating the whole muffin baking base.

They were royally fucked, especially as you came in.

They both hid behind the kitchen counter, as was the plan: the table was already set with a candle that they had found and that wasn’t as beautiful as the one in the movie but smelled of lavender that was supposed to be calming.

A bottle of wine – that they had grabbed from the top shelf, jumping one over the other – was opened and technically both Power and Denji should have been in their uniform feigning to be waiters.

But the meal wasn’t ready and the kitchen was a mess.

Everything aside the romantic dinner they had planned.

“What did you try to do, busybodies?” Aki promptly asked once he got to them, while you tried to lenite his harsh words “… how many times have I told you not to cook unsupervised? And… you shouldn’t use the phone but for emergencies! We both rushed here…”.

«Aki» you promptly caught the topknot’s attention «…I think that they might have meant well. For once».

Your eyes were set upon the dinner table with what could only be described as a tad of emotion while looking over the elegant set up – Power and Denji might have fucked up the food, but they certainly hadn’t done the same with the table – before turning to the two troublemakers with an inquisitive look.

«But why only two plates?».

And before either Power and Denji could reply with the obvious statement that it was for the romantic dinner between you and Aki, you moved to where the cutlery was kept – by now more at ease with Aki’s apartment than your own – and got a few plates out while the topknot followed you and grabbed the glasses, catching your drift without words.

«… if this needs to be a celebratory dinner, we should be I four».

And turning to Denji with a provocative smile you added:

«Don’t tell me that the idea was for you and Power to have a romantic dinner?».

Both Denji and Power felt more disgusted by that insinuation than the rotten food that they had prepared that night, grateful when you simply suggested ordering pizza to ease their tormented souls.

Well, at least this time the plan hadn’t backfired.

Denji, after endless nights spent in a general state of alarm, had developed a rather light sleep, waking himself up at any slight noise, which was especially troublesome when a snoring fiend was sleeping beside you.

Still, it wasn’t Power the reason behind his suddenly awake status as he held footsteps coming from the other room, and the giggles.

Your giggles.

And yet, you hadn’t stayed over. You hadn’t even come over that night, feigning yourself busy with some work matters much to Power’s and Denji’s disappointment who had hoped to spend some time with you now that Aki had been dismissed by the hospital.

You did visit them, but with work you had had just the time to drop some meals over, before going to the hospital as well to visit poor sweet Hayakawa after his last fight against an annoying demon.

Hence your sudden presence seemed almost a dream and Denji shook lightly Power, risking being bitten in a leg as the fiend didn’t enjoy being woken up – her sleep being especially heavy with Nyako on her chest, as was the case – although once settled she also confirmed to the boy he wasn’t hearing fantasies.

You were there.

In their apartment.

And as a second voice joined, they realized you were there with Aki.

Shouldn’t he have been still in hospital?

Power went to move to greet you and Hayakawa but Denji held her back as a conversation seemed to sparkle between the two of you as he leaned with his ear against the door to catch onto it.

“… can’t believe that she brought alcohol in the fucking hospital” you spoke bubbly and much to the shock of the fiend and the boy, Aki joined your tone.

“It’s fucking Himeno, what the fuck were you expecting?”.

Neither Power nor Denji had heard the man speak so unbuttonedly and they exchanged a determine look before going to open the door with as little to no noise as possible.

“… I think it was her ‘get well’ bouquet of sorts”.

Both Denji and Power moved like spies across the house till they came in the dining room, hidden by the kitchenette and hallway to the rooms to sneak a look to the slumped form of Aki leaning onto you while you helped him to the sofa, before sitting down next to him as a fit of giggles filled the room.

Again, Aki being strangely happy.

“Do you think they…?” and Denji signed the gesture of ‘getting high’ to Power who obviously didn’t understand it, sending him a confused look but whatever she was going to say was promptly stalled by your voice echoing.

«… I think that she was extremely worried for you, Aki» and Denji noticed that your hand had moved to pat gently Hayakawa’s hair, which weren’t put in his usual updo and when he turned lightly, the younger boy couldn’t help but think that he looked so young.

And happy.

«… I was also extremely worried for you».

The tone sobered up immediately.

«It’s my job».

Did Hayakawa sound almost… resentful?

Power did look halfway through giving out her hiding spot to protect you.

«… I… you shouldn’t worry».

«And Himeno should?».

Was that jealousy in your tone?

Was it possible that they had used the wrong tactic, and it was you who should have been made jealous?

«You know what I mean» Aki hissed through his teeth as your hand moved from his hair onto his chin and grabbed it tightly.

Again, Denji had that sensation of when he had caught you and topknot dancing in the kitchen

«… I… don’t want you worrying for me. It’s rotten work».

«Not to me» your voice was above a whimper and Denji had to jumpe from his hiding spot to shush Power.

“He is hurting her!” she protested, trying to bite his fingers.

“They are adults!” he shut back, trying to keep his noise quiet “… they can handle it”.

“It doesn’t seem so!”.

«I can’t…» Aki looked right about unable to be as smart as usual and Denji almost wished he could have had a camera to immortalize this moment «… make you undergo that. I… can’t promise to…».

«You don’t need to».

Your voice was so brave that for a moment Denji thought that you’d have made an even finer Devil Hunter than Aki.

«… you just need to let me love you, Aki».

The ‘l-word’ you had finally said it and Power sent Denji a look of pure victory, although he kept the hold onto her mouth.

«… I…» also Aki seemed taken aback and it took everything in Denji not to curse him out for promptly letting such an occasion «… guess… that’d work… I…».

«Then let me fuss and care for you, Hayakawa» you teased him lightly, making to get up promptly to get the white paper bag on the table with the medication, but before you could, the topknot had stopped you.

You seemed promptly stalled in your steps.

«… does it…».

Still, before any further words could leave his words, Aki brought you into a breathless kiss.

Denji didn’t think that he’d have expected it from his emotionless squad leader, but the way his arms promptly clutched you down to push you further against his lap was anything but cold and neutral.

Power let out a small giggle and when you detached you took a step back obviously taken aback although a warm smile appeared on her face.

«Thank you, then» Aki had the audacity to utter «…for caring for me».

You nodded, without words and both Denji and Power thought that you got this, retreating to their rooms with a pip in their walks, and imagining it the warm voice of topknot through the door muttering.

“Thank you, busybodies”.

Afterall, Denji did it for the greater good.

Tits.

credits for the separators go to: @strangergraphics

#Aki Hayakawa x Reader #Aki Hayakawa Imagine #Aki Hayakawa x You #Aki Hayakawa Fic #CSM Fic

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indiaalphawhiskey · 10 months

Note

Hello India! Because I unfortunately belong to the overthinkers club, I´ve been recently thinking about that "famously sexy" quote especially after H´s extra sexy outfit yesterday. And I would like to share some of my opinions about this theme which maybe goes hand in hand with H´s sexuality.

As we can see how Louis is becoming more and more confident and open every show - his tanktops, his smile after barricade ripped tank top and how he came back half naked looking beyond happy, his interaction with fans, dancing and just feeling himself - I have no doubt that H is very the same. When I think back to that Better homes and gardens´ interview he said something like how he struggled with himself and felt that his sex life was the only thing that was truly his and he felt ashamed of that. The Harry we can see on stage these months is - as I personally see it - very open person who no longer struggle to be truly himself, being proud and comfortable of his sexuality (no matter how he identifies) and he loves his body. Of course, there´s a factor of being on stage and put up a great show but I don´t think he´ll be able to do it as he does if he won´t be confident and won´t feel it. Yes, there are all those marketing strategies how he´s sold as a sex symbol mostly for female audience and I see this very similar to how Ricky Martin has been sold during 00´s - he has very sexy videos where he´s making out with woman, his body was (and still is) very ripped and mostly half naked. Back then even my child self (I was about 10 years old) saw him as a total sex god. And now he´s openly gay, still doing very sexy photoshoots....because he´s proud and he´s feeling himself. But I see something different with Harry being more open and giving hints of his queerness - something Ricky Marting wasn´t probably able to do back then - his total sexy gay outfits (yesterday he looked like he´s literally came on stage from gay bar), his banana dick, penis jokes and gay innuendos are just a few which came to my mind now. And there´s his role for MP and those sex scenes which he was able and comfortable to shoot which also speaks volume. Writing this, his stunts with women and interaction to some het signs are just to get away with everything queer he does. And the last question to think about - for whom is he famously sexy? He´s sold as a sex symbol for female audience mostly but....but does it mean that gay men don´t see him as a sex symbol too? What if his actual target are gays and never women (but heteronormativity makes us feel like it´s primary for women) - we will never know because he will never tell and that´s probably good because he´ll loose most if he just come out. Sorry for longer message, hope it´s understandable what I´m trying to say - not everything we think he´s sold as and primary for whom might be true and his inner target can be totally different.

I think, to stay mentally healthy, Harry has very much learned to compartmentalize between his personal and professional life.

I tend to think the fandom struggles with this compartmentalization because it feels so drastically different from what he seemed to want when he was younger and how much he visibly pushed against that overly sexualized image (which he still does, btw, because enjoying being sexy and inviting sexualization will always be two different things).

But yeah, I think the fandom doesn’t know how to reconcile his personal acceptance of his status as a sex symbol with the way he used to push back so fiercely against it. But really, I think it’s just a conscious, strategic adult decision.

This is not to say I agree with forcibly closeting anyone, or using closeting/stunting as currency to win back inalienable rights and personal freedoms. I absolutely do not and I wish the world was not this way at all.

But I’m also aware that we live in this reality, where the entertainment industry will continue to commodify people because there’s nothing that stops them, which means playing into that role allows him other freedoms, because anyone with any kind of professional career understands that making yourself “worth the trouble” and irreplaceable, especially in such a finicky industry, is what’s going to allow for both creative control and longevity in your career.

At the end of the day, I think it all boils down to cost. We like to think of stunts in a vacuum - either they exist or they don’t, and everything else stays the same - but the truth is, that’s not the way it works. Rather, it’s a lot more likely that stunts are a constant part of being That Kind of celebrity, particularly because of Harry’s profile, how he shot to fame, and how he has always been marketed, and what he has managed to do is gain enough leverage and popularity to exchange participation for something/multiple things: creative freedom, personal expression, rainbow flags every night, sparkly bi music… the list goes on.

And, as easy as it is to say it’s black-and-white not worth it… do we really mean that? If we had a printed receipt that said the cost of being allowed to fly a rainbow flag every night and play a starring role in a queer film and write songs like She and Find Line and Little Freak and helping fans come out and saying “we’re all a little bit gay” was one (1) stunt every year, would we, as a fandom, be willing to make the trade? Would we be willing to go back to the way it was in the 1D days, where everything he did and said was so tightly monitored that a glimpse of anything rainbow would send us into cardiac arrest and growing his hair was the biggest act of authenticity and rebellion he could manage?

And more than that, do we even have the right to have weigh in on something we know nothing about the complexities of, and that neither affect our life/our career/our future/the way we’re allowed to move about the world as a person/artist?

#iaw ask #iaw anonymous #stunting tw #Hollywood discourse #Harry’s career discourse

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eleanore-delphinium · 10 months

Text

My Mate

DamiRae Week 2023

[ Fantasy, Book Inspired, Exploring Each Other’s Bodies / Intimate ]

DISCLAIMER: Contains Mature Content, Sexual Themes (but not the most graphic that I wrote, and yes lemon)

[ Small Author Rant ]

This was not part of my plans. I initially wanted to post for After Flashpoint continuing the Familiarity AU, Fairytale which is Maleficent inspired which I have had the idea for, since I joined the fandom, and God's AU wherein it's Greek God related... But I was time constrained.

The Gods I have written quite a bit already and I thought I'd make it...but nope time was not enough.

Then I got obsessed with reading about werewolves and mates... And greatly unsatisfied with what I've read. And this idea came up and I thought it would be short... But here I am 8k words later.

I didn't think much about this fic and it wasn't planned much like most of my work. So if anyone has questions please feel free to ask, I'd like to explore this possibility. I think it has potential.

And when preparing this post (yes, it’s scheduled, I'm away on a trip thus the time constraint), I realized that this fic actually hits most of the prompts unknowingly. So, I'm posting it on the 6th day.

Even though I didn’t plan this fic that much or prepared it, I hope it was enjoyable. Low-key made me want to have a sad sad fic when I was proofreading.

Anyways, enjoy AND PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!!

~.~.~.~.~

In a forest, there was a black wolf curled up in front of a big boulder. It was whimpering in pain and eyes were closed.

Loud howls echoed through the forest and the wolf’s eyes fluttered open, revealing violet irises. It struggled to stand but ultimately fell.

Three wolves came from the trees opposite it. They were bigger than the weakened wolf. The three observe the cornered thing, who looked resigned to their fate. They gave it a low growl and slowly approached the violet eyed-wolf.

Suddenly, an even bigger wolf jumped from the top of the boulder behind the unconscious wolf and bounced off the boulder to land between the sole wolf and the three other wolves who were actually of average wolf size. Its growl was threatening and made the other three wolves whimper.

There was a standoff for a moment and then the newcomer barked so loudly that its bark was probably heard throughout the forest. The wolves that were no longer the predator fled as fast as their paws could take them.

The newcomer growled slowly at where the three fled, then his green eyes softened and turned to the small wolf behind him. And it was clear that this wolf was a male, the strength and dominance he showed was no longer there. It was replaced by whimpering, his tail drooped behind him.

He was sniffing the air a little. The wolf before him was female.

‘Mate…’ A disembodied male voice whimpered. The wolf’s green eyes locked on the smaller black wolf. He realized that the wolf’s fur that he was looking at, looked a little bit purple under the sunlight from the canopy of leaves above them.

‘Mate…’ The bigger wolf froze before the female, fear struck him. He nudged her and called for his Mate. He noticed her inhale deeply at the touch and he calmed.

‘Mate.’ It claimed taking the smaller creature by her neck.

~.~.~.~.~

The small black wolf was curled up on top of a bed with white sheets. The room was rather bright and the color was mostly white with some black, green, and gold here and there.

A tan man was in the room observing the curled-up wolf. He wore black pants, his chest and feet bare. He approached the whimpering wolf with bandages around its body. His green eyes studied the wolf on his bed, the same eyes that the big wolf in the forest had.

“Mate…” He mumbled, gently brushing her black-purple fur. “I am here…”

She was still unconscious for a week.

And the man had grown anxious.

“Why is she not yet awake! Why has she not shifted into her human form!” He was yelling at his doctors that flinched at their master’s harsh tone.

It was not unheard of that some Mates were actually animals. And if his Mate was the same, does he kill her or keep her as a companion like what others in the same predicament do and then mate with someone else. At this point, his doctors weren’t even sure if she was a werewolf.

“Alpha Damian…” One of the three doctors in the room weakly called the tan man.

His green eyes glared at the doctor, “What?”

“She is getting better, let us not assume the worst…” The doctor finished and everyone in the room could tell that the Alpha was so close to ripping them all apart.

The wolf on the bed whimpered and his head snapped toward her. “Out! All of you!” He yelled and they all scrambled as he calmly walked to his bed and sat on it, patting his mate.

“I have longed for you for so long, please let me meet you.” He whispered, nuzzling his face to the wolf’s neck as it seemed to calm down from whatever nightmare she was having.

It’s been weeks and she seemed stable but was still in wolf form. Damian’s anger became more quiet in the time that passed, but it brought everyone more stress than his outright barking.

His back was turned to the bed, he wore black pants, and he was barefooted, but had a white loose shirt on. He was getting convinced that his Mate was indeed a wolf and not like him who could shift.

He sighed, brushing both hands through his black hair.

“Who are you?” The sweetest female voice echoed through his bedroom and he held his breath as he turned to face his bed.

There on his bed, atop his white sheets, was a pale-skinned woman, with long black hair cascading on his sheets, her eyes were violet. He didn’t think he’d gaze at such beautiful eyes.

Heck, he didn’t think he’d gaze at such a beauty, her nakedness he could not fully ignore too.

She was beautiful.

And he was drawn to her, and as such, his feet found their way to her side. His calloused fingers brushed her waist, and his other hand rested on her shoulder.

Her violet eyes gazing at him, he kneels on the bed to bring his face closer to hers.

“My Mate…” His eyes only saw her, his nose against her neck.

~.~.~.~.~.~

He was so happy to know her name, to have met her. He waited for so long.

“Raven.” He called to his Mate that was on the bed wearing one of his shirts, reading a book, her back against a stack of pillows.

“Damian.” She greeted her Mate, looking up from the book. For a moment, his eyes brushed her long and bare legs.

He sat on the space beside her and brushed his fingers on her face. He always looked forward to seeing her, even when it was for a few minutes.

Raven placed her book to the side, and soon her Mate’s lips were against the skin of her neck. His hands were roaming over her body and she quietly brushed his black hair.

He had not marked her yet, but he could not control wanting to be this close to her, and she never pushed him back. And never made a move on him either.

She had been awake for a couple of weeks, but because she was still recovering, she remained in his bedroom. And in this space, he got to know her very well.

She was calm, rational, and kind. Her eyes would appear to be the wisest he has seen whenever she gazed at him.

And he loved her so dearly. Admittedly, rather obsessively. Perhaps it was just their nature as wolves.

And yet, as he placed wet kisses against her skin, she showed no hint of any possessiveness in the way he was displaying.

~.~.~.~.~.~

His Mate was wearing a white silk crop top with matching shorts, peacefully sleeping. And as he approached her, the smell that was coming off of her was getting stronger.

His eyes turned black and when he blinked, his green eyes returned but it glowed with a yellow glow around his green irises.

He placed his hands on her hips and this startled Raven awake. He was over her legs and he leaned forward and so she parted her knees for him. He pulled down the garter of her shorts a little lower and his tongue made contact with the space just above where her pubic hair would have started growing.

Damian was just licking her there, sometimes his nose brushing her skin. He didn’t notice her biting her lips from the contact.

“My future pups…” She heard him mumble and she blinked. “You’re ovulating, my Mate, is ovulating…”

She noticed how the veins on his arms were bulging.

“My future pups,” Damian said, glancing at his Mate who was looking at him now. He was clearly fighting himself from something. He was breathing heavily.

The silence helped him gain back control from the animal within him, “I’m sorry.” He pulled away, but he was clearly shaking, he was in pain. “I can’t help it.”

“I know.” She said, fingers extended to touch him, but he pulled away and shook his head.

“No, you don’t.” He whispered he looked so guilty and ashamed. “Normal wolves wouldn’t act like me.” His eyes glanced at her for a moment, then quickly looked away.

He covered his face with his hands, “You don’t understand, I want to keep you all to myself. The thought of anyone else laying even just their eyes on you drives me mad!” He growled and then breathed deeply. He took a peek at her from between his fingers, “I don’t want to justify my thoughts… but your mate is imperfect… no one would want me…”

“I don’t–” She tried to reach for him again but he pulled away. The look on his face made her freeze.

“You don’t get it.” He quietly said he looked so weak and from the short time they met, this wasn’t how she saw him. “My family… they wanted a better and stronger wolf, and so they did– they altered me to become what they want.” There was understanding in his Mate’s eyes.

“It’s why I am so much bigger in my wolf form.” He added even more quietly than he expected. “As if the Moon Goddess was angered by this alteration– I…” He paused, closing his eyes and looking down, looking so ashamed. “I’m more obsessive and possessive than normal wolves. I try so hard to control myself. I’m imperfect– an abomination.”

Soft hands touched his arm and he looked up with clear shock on his face and his Mate was nothing but calm.

“I’m sure you have noticed.” He looked at her in confusion and she faintly smiled and added, “Why am I so small in wolf form.” He perked up. “I’m half-witch.”

He blinked at the revelation and it made sense.

“So, I guess imperfect meets imperfect– and so we become a whole?” Her words made him feel like he could breathe properly as if his sinuses were cleared after breathing from one nostril for a little too long. “So, we are a perfect match, my Mate.”

He held his breath for a moment at her calling him Mate and she continued to talk, “ The Moon Goddess has not forsaken us.”

He smiled weakly at her, so enthralled by her presence.

“But why have you not marked me yet?” She quietly asked, breaking his quiet admiration for his Mate.

Damian looked away, “You didn’t seem interested to be my Mate…”

Raven shifted on the bed, “What? No!” Her tone was pouty.

She cleared her throat, “It’s not like that. I could tell that you were controlling yourself. I didn’t want you to feel bad or guilty, so I concealed my desire.”

He stared at her and he looked relieved, then suddenly frowned, “But I don’t want to hurt you.” He was looking away from her. “I know I won’t be able to control myself if we do it. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Then hurt me.” She said and he looked at her with wide eyes. Her hand slipped down to hold his, and as she settled back to the spot she laid, she tugged him a little, bringing her closer to him. Her legs spread before him, feet on either side of him as she adds, “Hurt me. And Mark me.”

Damian stilled and breathed deeply like he was suddenly attacked. He was suddenly hit by her desire and scent. His lips part about to say something but he was cut off.

“Please, Mark me.” His Mate’s plea drove him to the edge. His eyes went from green to pure black and then his irises returned but they weren't green, instead it was yellow. All he could smell was the sudden release of desire– arousal, her scent of lavenders, and all laced with the fact that his mate was ovulating.

Damian growled and it was clear that he was no longer in control. He ripped her shorts along with her underwear, leaving her bare for him. And oh, how bare she was. He brought his nose closer to her vagina and he was tilting his head a little and sniffing, and Raven was left to hold her breath in anticipation.

He could smell her begging for him even more. His tongue stuck out of his mouth and he started licking her folds. Her legs were over his shoulder, but she kept her feet planted on the bed.

He was going to claim her while the sun was still up and it hadn’t even reached mid-day. Everyone would surely know what he was doing. One of his hands pressed against where he was licking her a few minutes ago, just beside her hip bone.

“Beautiful…” He mumbled and then bared his teeth tugging at her vulva gently. “Mine.” He growled and then sucked the skin between her legs.

And he did that for a while, his mind intoxicated with her scent. His mouth filled with her taste.

Raven’s pale fingers found their way to his black hair and he glanced up. She knew that he was no longer in control. His eyes were yellow.

“Beautiful.” He claimed again locking eyes with her, giving her vulva a sloppy kiss while he was at it. His eyes never left her. And he noted how his Mate gulped. “Mine.” He said again, this time crawling to her.

He cupped her face, “Mine.”

“Yes. I am.” She answered back shyly and she saw how his eyes were reflecting nothing but the animal inside and her.

He growled again, “Mine.” And went for her neck, first licking then his teeth grazing her skin.

Damian wasn’t gentle at all, it was clear that he wasn’t himself anymore, and that it was the animal in him in control. But Raven didn’t mind, it just showed just how much her Mate wanted her.

His fingers were finally done toying with her wet cunt after he made her orgasm at least a couple of times. Whilst his lips ravaged every part of her body.

He brought his wet fingers to his nose, “Ovulating…” He mumbled as if he just found out and there was an emotion that flashed in his eyes.

He hissed, arms pulling her legs back to be on her sides. “Ovulating.” He licked his fingers that were wet with her juices and her face flushed a reddish hue.

Raven was still anticipating the marking, he was biding his time to mark her and it was driving her mad. Then she felt it, a thickness and firmness against her wet cunt.

He studied her, tilting his head a little like a curious animal, his eyes still yellow. “Mine.” He bends forward to whisper to her ear and before she could reply she felt him enter her.

Her eyes rolled back, her chest raised.

He smelled it, blood. “Virgin.” The simple word was dragged out and his eyes narrowed at her.

She thought that something had already long snapped from her Mate the moment he smelled her ovulating and begging to be marked. But the way he narrowed his eyes at her at this moment was something else.

She gulped.

Then his hips started ramming her. His touches felt even more animalistic. And with his pounding, she came closer to the peak and she could tell that he was in the same boat as her because his scent was overwhelming.

He tugged at her face, making her look at him, “Keep your eyes on me.” He growled and so she followed his order.

He could feel it, his close release and his Mate’s, and he was timing it perfectly. And when he knew they were at the cusp of release, his canines grew and he bit her shoulder just as they reached climax.

And Raven’s eyes widened.

Just when she thought that what she was feeling was the climax she was waiting for, the venom from his marking said otherwise.

Raven passed out from the intensity, but her Mate was not yet done. His mind was still trapped in the desire for his Mate.

Raven would wake, in different positions, being tossed and turned by her Mate who was relentless, then would pass out. She wasn’t angry with him, it was just how their animal sides were.

The need to mate and produce.

When Damian came to, one hand was on the lower back of a voluptuous ass sticking out to him. His breathing was shallow, as he tried to understand where he was and who he was with. He pulled his dick out from the tight cunt he was certain he was pounding.

He knew that he had just released himself into her tight pussy.

He was disoriented and vaguely recalled that he was with Raven, his Mate this morning, but it was clear that the sun had set a long time ago. His fingers brushed the skin just above her butt and then unconsciously touched the stray white fluid back to her gaping hole.

He felt like his body wasn’t his, and that is when the scent of his Mate filled his nose. He blinked and glanced at the pale body before him.

This was his Mate. Raven. And she had so many bruises, hickeys, and bites on her body.

He wanted to vomit. His mind could see images of what he had been doing to his Mate– even when she was passed out.

He really wanted to vomit.

He was a monster.

Damian was shaking as he pulled away and attempted to flee, but a weak hand wrapped around his wrist. And he froze.

His eyes were back to green as he stared at his Mate, her ass still sticking out at him, her cunt dripping from both their juices. But that sight was forgotten when he saw the sadness on her face and he felt her grief from the bond.

“Please, don’t.” She said hoarsely, but her lips were chapped and swollen that his guilt was heavier than her sadness.

Another flash of sadness that wasn’t his came to him, it was from Raven. She didn’t want him to leave her, not after marking her, she felt like he was abandoning her.

“No, it’s not like that.” He quickly explained but her sorrowful gaze pained him.

He knew what she was feeling and he pursed his lips, “I hurt you.” He quietly said, looking away.

And he vaguely heard her voice in his head telling him to stay. He also felt that she didn’t blame him but in fact, felt quite loved, and also knew that if he left, he would truly hurt her.

He studied all the marks of his passionate but sadly one-sided lovemaking on his Mate. He wanted to leave, he should, but he couldn’t hurt her like that. He helped her get a more comfortable sleeping position and somehow her lips found his neck. He felt her contentment.

And he realized that she wasn’t able to mark him.

When Raven woke, her body was extremely sore and it was still night out. Her arms touched the space around her, looking for her Mate. And dread filled her when she realized he wasn’t there. She sat up with eyes wide.

He left her.

Her eyes searched the dark room for her Mate. Her Mate who marked her and then just abandoned her. It hurt her ego as a werewolf.

“Raven!” Damian’s voice roared as he opened the door, a basket in his hand. His green eyes searched for his Mate. He thought something had happened to her.

When she saw him, she instantly struggled to get up from the bed. He closed the door behind him as he quickly walked to her.

“No, don’t.” He begged her, not wanting her to come closer to him in her state. But she met him halfway and stumbled to his chest.

“You left me.” Her eyes were filled with water that threatened to spill and he felt her sorrow. She thought he had abandoned her.

She-wolves were known to be particularly sensitive after marking, the duration varying from one Mate to another. The knowledge just popped up in Damian’s mind. He didn’t think he’d get a Mate, so these little details were something he didn’t bother with.

It was kind of similar to the human belief that human females grow an attachment to their first sexual partner. But with wolves, especially in their case– that Raven’s first was her Mate, the attachment to her first and only sexual partner was even more extremely heightened. He at least understood this much.

He cupped her face and brushed her cheek with his thumb, this was the first time he saw her with so much emotion on her face. “I’m sorry.” He quietly said, but her eyes were pleading and her chapped lips pouting at him.

“You weren’t able to eat, so I went to get you some things to fill your stomach. I didn’t think you’d wake up. I’m sorry.” He quietly confessed.

He felt her joy from his show of concern and his heart fluttered, or maybe it was hers. Regardless, from where he stood and with the moonlight's help, he could see all the marks he left on her body. What he did to her flashed before his mind.

He wanted to apologize again, but a small hand against his chest stopped him.

“Please, don’t.” She whispered, eyes pleading again, “If you do, it’s like you're telling me you regret marking me.”

Her emotions felt like a punch on his cheek and so were her words.

“No!” He hated the thought. He didn’t regret it and she flinched at his sudden outburst. He calmed himself and added, “ It’s not like that.”

He caught himself from apologizing again, he leaned forward pressing his lips against his mark on her shoulder, “Mine.”

He felt her feeling proud and happy with his actions. And he too was pleased.

Another information entered his mind, some wolf packs do not allow their females to mark their Mates or partners. He wondered for a moment if she came from a pack like that.

~.~.~.~.~

“Alpha! There are trespassers!” Someone told Damian and he frowned.

“Alpha! The she-wolf is approaching the mansion!” Another yelled as he ran to the mansion just as Damian was rushing out. “The she-wolf refused to talk to us, but she was being chased and was evading us and her attackers.”

Damian frowned, he didn’t have time for this, he had not seen his Mate and could not hear her or feel her.

“She was being chased?” He asked as he glanced up, seeing a familiar small wolf running to them. Even though he couldn’t see from where he was, he just knew that the approaching wolf would have violet eyes.

“She is coming to the Alpha!” Someone said, alerting the others, silently telling them to stop the approaching she-wolf.

Damian ran to said she-wolf and shifted mid-way, and it looked like he was going to trample the poor wolf, but instead, he barked, landing a little behind her. His snarl put a halt to everyone and even the trespassers that he could smell from across the forest where the small wolf came from.

Everyone stilled and Damian turned to look at the shaking wolf behind him. Her eyes were exactly his Mate’s. He nudged her and she whimpered, he urged her to communicate with their exclusive Mate telepathic connection, but nothing. He even sniffed her.

He couldn’t smell her or his scent on her. He couldn’t even feel her or hear her.

But those violet eyes were clearly his Mate’s and it was pleading to him.

He recalled how he barely smelled her when he first met her. He was only certain that she was her Mate the moment his eyes laid on her in her human form.

He growled slowly and the wolf before him blinked. It was undeniable that this was the same wolf he saved from the forest. His Mate.

He grabbed the creature by the neck and snorted at his men. He was disappointed that they could not identify his Mate. But recalling that even he could not smell her scent and that no one had seen her shift in her wolf form, he calmed down a little.

The smaller wolf looked pitiful being carried like that by Damian in wolf form. But he padded his way to their bedroom and laid his Mate on the bed.

He shifted into his human form, he wore black pants, it was enchanted to accommodate shifting.

“Raven, it’s alright, you can shift.” He urged her but the wolf merely whimpered. He was confused. He brushed her black-purple fur and comforted her and she merely nudged his head a little.

Three days passed and she was still in wolf form, “What’s wrong? You can’t shift back? Is it similar to when we first met?” He patted her head and he noticed a tear fall from the she-wolf’s eyes.

Later that evening, when Damian was about to go to the bathroom, he smelled his Mate’s scent and he turned to the bed to see his naked Mate on the bed. Tears in her eyes.

“Damian…” She whispered her arms extended for a hug and he went to her instantly and wrapped her in his arms. “I was stuck.” She mumbled, shaking her head to the nook of his shoulder.

“Why?” He asked her gently and she froze.

Raven suddenly burst into tears and kept apologizing, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Your Mate is selfish, I didn’t– I couldn’t reject you when I met you.”

He inhaled deeply at her last words: reject. She wanted to reject him. The animal inside of him was angry at the thought.

“I didn’t tell you everything, I didn’t give you a choice. I’m sorry.” She sobbed and he felt the misery she was feeling, thus his anger at the thought of being rejected disappeared.

He wanted to understand her, “What do you mean?”

She stilled again on the spot and she held back her tears as she stared at him, “This isn’t common knowledge but when some wolves meet their animal Mates, most times, they really weren’t born as animals.”

Daman furrowed his eyebrows, he tried to recall this information from all the books he had read, and there was no information like this.

“They were likely half-wolves, who lost the ability to shift into their human forms,” Raven revealed and his eyebrow twitched.

It makes sense.

“One day– I might not be able to become human.” The tears in her eyes fell again and her dread and his dread merged into one in his body.

After a moment of silence, “No.” He said. “If my mother can find a way to alter me– I’m sure there is a way around that.” His green eyes were determined.

She shook her head, “I shouldn’t have mated with you– we shouldn’t have met. If I was stuck as a wolf, you probably wouldn’t know who I was. And I wouldn’t either.”

“No!” He yelled and Raven stared at him with wide eyes. “I’m not mad at you,” He clarified, calming himself. “I don’t like the thought of not having you.” He buried his face on her shoulder.

“You’re mine.” He softly added.

“You could have mated with someone else, and we wouldn't have known what we could have been.” She added and he growled. “I was selfish, I couldn’t let you go.”

He licked his mark on her, “Then I’m glad that you are.”

Another moment of silence then he recalled something, “Is that why I can’t smell you?”

Raven pushed him gently, looking at him, “I am half-witch, I was hunted down for what I am, as a precaution when I shift I conceal my scent, but… it has become my default so I find it hard to control it.”

He nodded and kissed her forehead, “We’ll find a way around it.”

“But Damian, if I fall pregnant and shift into a wolf, I will lose our child.” Her eyes twitch as the tears fall. “I don’t want that.”

“I’d rather lose the child.” He said and he felt her heartbreak at his words. She didn’t realize it but she had also held her breath. She believed he didn’t want children with her.

“It’s not like that, Raven. I don’t want to lose you.” He made her look at him by cupping her face.

But she was not convinced and attempted to be freed from his touch.

“I can’t lose you, my Mate.” He looked in pain frowning at her, “We can choose not to have kids for now until we figure this out. Alright?”

She was still distraught by his words but she nodded and he embraced her as he comforted her.

“I do want pups with you. I don’t want kids with anyone else.” He reassured her. “If you get stuck as a wolf, then I will live my remaining life as a wolf with you.”

He heard her gasp and felt her heart sink into her stomach, “No.” She said, eyes wide in fear. “No, you can’t.”

With firm hands on her cheeks he said, “Yes, I can.”

~.~.~.~.~

“How certain are you that this information is true?” Talia asked, glancing at her son and then his Mate.

“It is quite known to families who are not pure, and to a certain coven of witches,” Raven replied. “We… Impure wolves were hunted as a sport, so this information is concealed. We have packs or covens dedicated to us. But please, keep this a secret, I’m not supposed to be even telling you this.” She glanced at her Mate.

Damian knew that it was only recently that half-werewolves were accepted. Of course, there were still some who liked the old ways. But he had never heard of packs of half-wolves and witch covens that help said half-wolven packs.

“But there are still some who treat us as a game.” Raven unconsciously rubbed her arm.

“Is that why you were being chased?” Damian asked, containing his anger, he had always wondered why she was being chased, but he didn’t want to force her to answer him by asking. When she confessed that she was half-witch, he didn't even ask questions.

To him, she was his Mate. That was all that mattered.

Raven looked uncomfortable with the question and glanced at Talia. And her son frowned at her. He suddenly recalled that his pack used to hunt the impure wolves for sport too.

He growled, “If you hurt her.”

Talia raised her hands up, “She is your Mate, I have no intentions, and anyways, we stopped hunting them halflings down a long time ago. We saw that they offered more benefits as they are– earlier than anyone else did.”

Damian growled, placing himself between his mother and Mate.

“We also believed that maybe we were cursed too…” Raven quipped trying to change the topic and calming her Mate. “There was a way to make sure we don’t get stuck…”

Damian turned to her hopeful, but she avoided his gaze, “If we forsaken our wolves, then we wouldn’t become animals.” Damian did not understand her words and she adds, “You would have thought your Mate died, and if we crossed paths, we wouldn’t have known that we were destined for each other in accordance with the Goddess's will..”

He visibly took a step back, his head shaking. He couldn’t imagine being without her. Maybe it was the animal inside of him or the bond, but she was his. There is no other option for him.

Or maybe it was his imperfection showing. He was obsessed with her.

“I clearly… didn’t…” She mumbled, shaking in fear, when his eyes studied her, he realized what she was feeling.

“We can figure this out,” Damian reassured and turned to his mother, “If you can make me this strong, I am sure you can find something around this.”

He was nothing but determined.

And Talia smiled, “I do like a compelling experiment.”

~.~.~.~.~.~

Raven was in their bedroom, and she had not seen him for days after having a meeting with his mother. She was very very upset. She was feeling abandoned.

She decided to step out of the bedroom and walked barefoot to the end of the rather long balcony. She wore her white silk sleepwear made of a crop top and shorts again.

She gazed outside at the vast yard and into the forest from Damian’s huge balcony. She was told that her Mate had been running through the forest since they last saw each other.

She believed he regretted meeting her. She thought about leaving and just when she was about to go over the ledge of the balcony, despite being on the second floor, she heard a growl from behind her.

She turned and there was a very huge black wolf. She froze, one of her legs was over the banister.

The wolf growled as he slowly walked to her.

‘What are you doing?’ An angry disembodied male voice asked and she recognized it as her Mate’s.

“I–” She couldn’t even say what she was doing and he growled again. “I thought you hated me.” She ultimately answered and the wolf was now before her. His head caressed her neck.

‘You are my Mate.’ His voice was gentle and suddenly before her, stood Damian, with only his black pants on. “Come, let us go back in.” His hands found her hands as he guided her away from the ledge.

The next moment, she found herself in the center of the bed. She was sitting crossed-legged while he was before her on his knees, mouth caressing her neck.

“Why haven’t you marked me?” He suddenly asked her and she was taken aback. And he felt it.

He pulled away to look at her. She stared at those green eyes.

“I– I wanted it to be special, but…with everything– I don’t–” Her words stopped there because his eyes told her not to continue, she knew he knew what she was about to say.

That she didn’t deserve him.

“I can hear you and feel you.” His fingers brushed at the side of her face, “I want you to hear me and feel me too.”

She gulped and nodded, “But maybe–”

“I rather not wait.” He cut her off knowing what she was about to say again. He was clearly displeased at her thoughts thinking that she wanted to find a better time and place to do it.

“Okay.” She whispered, placing a hand over his beating heart. He saw what she wanted to do from the bond and he was anticipating her next moves.

And Raven acted on it. She pushed him a little, urging him to sit and she straddled him, and he held his breath as she rocked her hips and caressed his neck with her lips.

Eventually, after all the foreplay, his dick was inside of her with her clothes still on and his pants still around his hips.

He was moaning against her as her canines elongated and she bit him on his neck. He groaned. And as the venom sank in, making him further aroused he could feel her in his mind.

‘Damian.’ He heard her voice whimper inside his mind. And he couldn’t help but growl aloud.

His Mate was asking for more. Of course, he will fulfill her desire.

She had bitten him higher than he did on her body, she wanted to assert her dominance over other she-wolves. Which he didn’t mind at all. But it honestly made him even more hornier.

~.~.~.~.~

They were in his bedroom, it was late at night. Raven was on the bed naked and on all fours with her nice ass sticking out to him. She was at the edge of the bed and he was behind her ramming her from behind, one hand holding her arm by the wrist and the other caressing her lower back.

Her moaning was endless.

He couldn’t help but sear the image into his mind. Her pale skin, her nice ass sticking out for him. His scarred arms and hands holding her. There was something quite alluring to be able to fuck her this way.

They were animals by all means– being werewolves. They were.

And yet, to have her in this position in their human forms– there was just something about it that hit him differently.

His green eyes started to have a yellow glow around them.

Raven groaned and shook her head, “Slower…” She mumbled but he chuckled.

He went faster, “You and I know you want it faster.”

She buried her face against the bed, one hand gripping the sheets and the other gripping his wrist as he held her by the wrist on that arm.

Soon enough the two had reached release again. And he felt it, just as he was pulling out before she even burst into tears.

His Mate’s sheer sorrow.

He was already picking her up and comforting her as she cried.

“Hey, hey, baby, what’s wrong?” He caressed her leg and he was before her on his knees. All he could feel was her emotions.

“I am your Mate. I am supposed to be giving you strong pups, that is my honor as your Mate.” She sobbed. “But I can’t give you that.”

“Hey, hey, you will. It will just be a little bit longer than we’d thought.” He told her, brushing her tears away.

“We are wolves, it is in our nature to breed a stronger generation– and I can’t give you that. What kind of Mate am I?” She sobbed again.

He felt her strong desire to have his pups– their kids. There was a sense of joy he couldn’t hide and he knew she felt it from the bond.

She wanted his kids.

And Raven couldn’t help but stop sobbing as she stared at him. He was proud that she wanted his kids.

His calmness and stare made her blush.

“I don’t want you to face losing our children because you can’t control your shifting. We’ll work on that and we can fill this damn whole pack house with our kids.” He said firmly.

The image of her having a dozen kids came to his mind, an image from his Mate whose ears were red.

“No- not that many.” She couldn’t help but mumble and he laughed wholeheartedly. Her thoughts of her having saggy tits and not being attractive to him of course were sent to him through the bond too.

He leaned forward, making her lean backward and unknowingly spreading her legs wider. He whispered, “If anything, you will suck my dick dry.”

His green eyes glanced at her shoulder and it was slightly red in embarrassment.

Damian pulled away, his green eyes glowing yellow again, realizing the position his Mate was in. Her legs were spread wide before him, his cum slipping out of the tight slit between her legs.

“Well, since it might take time to resolve our small shifting issue,” His index finger swiped his stray cum up back to her hole, “We can continue to practice how to make pups.”

Raven couldn’t help but gulp.

~.~.~.~.~

Damian was able to help Raven shift back into her human form whenever she got stuck. Her marking him had helped immensely. He can at least now smell her and his scent over her and communicate telepathically when she is in wolf form.

It took time but at least now she didn’t feel alone when she was stuck.

In their bedroom, Raven was leaning against a stack of pillows that were resting on their headboard and Damian’s head was resting below her belly button. One of her pale hands was playing with his black hair as he was gazing at her.

He lifted a hand and placed it beside his head, “One day, I will have pups growing right here.” He rubbed small circles on her skin.

She chuckled, they were now quite comfortable talking about this. Raven was quite certain that she would soon be able to have his pups, so the topic wasn’t that painful to talk about. And if she didn't, she had him. Those green eyes that only knew her.

She brushed his forehead and teased him, “How do you know that there isn’t one already?”

His eyes widened and lifted his head up as he stared at her lower abdomen, “Did I crush our pup?”

The sheer concern he felt traveled to her. She smiled faintly. “I would know, do not worry Damian.” He looked at her and she reassured him that she wasn’t with child through their bond and he nodded. He did not look the least disappointed. Instead, he couldn’t help but send an image of him caring for her as her belly grew.

“I can’t wait to be the mother of your pups.” She said and she felt and smelled his arousal. He knew she could tell that he wanted her. And he knew she wanted to avoid his gaze, but surprisingly she held onto his lustful gaze. “You will be a great father.”

The sun was still out, but here they were making love again.

Everyone in the mansion knew that the Alpha couldn’t keep his hands off of his Mate.

Everyone has already accepted her, but she was still not part of the mind-link between the pack.

~.~.~.~.~.~

In their bedroom, Damian was leaning on the headboard with his Mate between his legs, her back resting against his chest and his arms around her waist.

They were fully clothed. He wore his black pants and a white loose long-sleeved shirt, his hard chest poking out of the deep v on the front of his shirt. His Mate was wearing a white fitted off-shoulder top with tight shorts.

He kissed her shoulder, particularly his mark on her, “I will admit, I really don’t like the thought of other males hearing your voice in their heads.” He was pouting and she laughed, her hands finding his and intertwining their fingers.

“But they are wondering why I am not part of the mind-link.” She moved her head to rest her forehead against his neck and he groaned.

“But I want your voice to only fill my head.” He whined and he could feel his animal growing possessive and he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to control himself.

Raven laughed again, “But you and I know it is time and inevitable.” She kissed his jaw and he frowned. His green eyes were surrounded by a yellow glow that slowly faded.

He sighed, “I know.”

~.~.~.~.~.~

In a room full of people in suits and gowns, Damian was across the room, his eyes laying on his Mate who was talking to some other man. He had just arrived and came later than Raven.

His eyes instantly found his Mate. He couldn’t help but growl seeing the sight of his Mate welcoming some other man. He tried to control himself. What really ticked him off to the edge was the scent of her ovulating. It was sudden and she tried to conceal it, but he had smelled it from this distance. Perhaps it was the mating bond.

Raven felt him from across the room and smiled in his direction to comfort him and then brought her attention back to the man she was conversing with. Her smile did not comfort him.

He growled, his eyes glowing yellow. He worked so hard to control himself and he normally can, for the most part, but tonight was not the night.

No one knew she was his yet, and his scent doesn’t stick well on her body, and so did her scent on his body. And it drove him mad.

He excused himself from the man who was attempting to talk to him. Everyone in the room could feel his growing anger. He stopped at his Mate’s side, his lips against her ear.

“Oh, I think you know my Mate.” Raven smiled at the man across from her, Damian gave the man a side glance, his green eyes had a yellow glow. He kissed her neck.

“My Mate, you know I am the jealous type.” He said with a deep tone. Raven smiled at the man, her fingers finding her Mate’s, silently calming him.

“Then, I must excuse ourselves, sir.” She told the man, smiling faintly, her eyes fluttering at him and Damian couldn’t help the growl that escaped his lips.

Raven quickly ushered her Mate out of the party hall with great elegance and into the dark halls of the castle. When the two were alone he pinned her to a marble baluster.

“You are ovulating.” He growled, his eyes yellow. And she cupped his face.

Her thoughts of wanting to see his green eyes came to his mind. He wished he could, but the animal in him was in control.

“Everyone must have smelled you.” He growled, lifting her up seamlessly onto the banister.

She couldn’t help but giggle, “You know that since we are mated, you are the only one who is this sensitive to my ovulation.” She pulled him into her arms.

He blinked and his green eyes were back, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it, I tried to control myself.”

“Your self-control is insanely good, my dear Mate.” She reassured him. “I knew the moment we met. And don’t be too hard on yourself, you and I both know that the male wolves can’t help it because as animals, we can’t help but desire to mate and produce. And it is even more intense when it is with your Fated Mate.”

She suddenly pulled him even closer with her legs that were now wrapped around his waist, “A desire to make your Mate carry your pups.” She whispered in his ear.

And he growled his green eyes emitting a yellow glow yet again.

And her eyes turned blue.

He controlled himself, and placed a firm kiss on his mark on her shoulder, and filled her with his pheromones– his scent.

She couldn’t help but moan from his aggressiveness– his show of possession. It was natural for the female to long to be marked and be enveloped by her Mate’s being. And it likely didn’t help that she was currently ovulating mid-party, her body begging for his seeds and to produce.

The heat cycle can really drive wolves insane. At least, it did for this couple.

~.~.~.~.~

Raven was stuck, and she was on their bed in wolf form growling at Damian. Her eyes were blue.

He tried to calm her but she snarled and attempted to claw him.

“Hey, it’s me.” He gently told her. Her eyes reverted back to violet and she rubbed her head against their sheets and calmed. She looked at him with one of her violet eyes pleadingly.

He approached her and brushed her beautiful fur, “It’s okay, remember what I taught you?”

He could feel her trying to reach him through the bond and could feel her struggling. He buried his face into her fur, letting his pheromones set into her.

“It’s me,” He coaxed her, “Remember how I taught you.”

The wolf in his arms sounded like she was in pain and eventually, the voice of a struggling woman replaced the wolf sounds.

“Damian.” Raven sobbed, naked as she hugged him and he hugged her back. He stroked her back.

“You know, I really think you should get some enchanted clothes now, so when you are stuck you aren’t stark naked when you return to your human form.” He groped her ass, distracting her for a moment.

She pulled away pouting and he added, “It was shorter this time.”

She nodded, feeling comforted by her Mate.

~.~.~.~.~.~

Another day, and Raven was stuck in wolf form. They had just finished a really hot session of mating– well practice because his Mate couldn’t have children yet, and Damian had merely stepped out to pee in the bathroom, only to be greeted by his Mate in wolf form.

“Damian, I can’t…” Her voice meekly spoke to him in his mind, since they were now mutually marked he could hear her when she was stuck in her animal form. It was vague at first but now she was louder and clearer.

He quickly walked to her, her wolf form was close to tears. Midway he shifted and his huge figure circled her, “It’s okay, I am here.” He said, his Mate seems to have merged into his pitch-black fur, but he could identify that hint of purple in her fur.

He knew exactly where she was.

Raven whimpered but cuddled to her Mate.

When Damian woke, he found his Mate in human form, tangled up in his furred body. There was something about keeping her warm like this that tickled his heart.

Her getting stuck has lessened and it comforted both of them. His Mate always avoided shifting for fear of not being able to turn back.

“I am more witch than wolf…” He recalled her telling him once, her voice close to tears.

“It doesn’t matter.” He replied.

Damian snuggled himself against his Mate’s pale body, marking her again with his scent which elicited a moan from his Mate.

He paused, deciding to stop before he triggered her into heat.

It was so difficult being part man and wolf. His green eyes started to glow yellow and he tried to calm himself.

FIN.

Did I end it abruptly? Even I was thinking that, but like at 8k, this is enough.

Happy 91st post to me!

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stormblessed95 · 7 months

Note

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxxrSH4heVV/?igshid=NjIwNzIyMDk2Mg==

This came up on my feed and I felt like its calling me out personally.

This dude really meant JK and idols like him 💀 and obviously people in comments got it, they all are talking about JK. Honestly, he fits everything that man said.

The whole world, who thinks realistically, can imagine what will be an idol like JK's body count by now. And are we really fooling ourselves to believe it's 1, that too another man ? Or forget about 1, maybe he had some experience before. But are we convincing ourselves he has never been with anyone else other than Jimin for past 5-6 years ? It's not at all believable tbh. We know what's the weaknesses of every rich young guys are.. it's drinking, smoking and women. JK loves to do the 1st two, so 3rd obviously follows. Especially when he's choosing to sing about fucking women in all his latest releases. I'm really not 'assuming' sexuality but very realistically speaking 🤧🤧. Atp he's established as a fuckboy in whole kpop Fandom, there must be definitely a reason isn't it ? He only said he doesn't have a gf.. which is obviously believable, given he's not even having time to take care of himself. But that doesn't mean he's not having one night stands with women he meet whenever he goes who's all ready to throw themselves at him. And by knowing JK's nature of getting impressed by all those praises.. he'll gladly fuck them lol. I think it's difficult for me to make a fool out of myself thinking the hottest man in kpop is in a exclusive relationship with his bandmate for past years. 😪

I'm cackling. Not even bothering to address all the fallacies here (which includes anyone thinking bts are blushing virgins, because no one here does and the homophobia you've lowkey got going on here too) but what do you think hot people have against monogamy?? 🤣

I'm sorry you felt called out by that Instagram post (and JKs latest sex songs?) But you gotta take that up with whatever higher power you believe in or whatever authority you've got in your life because I'm not the one, love. No one here cares that you are struggling to grapple with the idea of a hot sexy successful possibly (probably) queer man who fucks and who might possibly (probably) also be into monogamy for his personal relationships. Unfortunately you've come to the wrong place. Regardless, thanks for stopping by I guess. Best of luck to you on your future ARMY journey and enjoy Golden. And I hope JK is enjoying himself immensely with whoever he is bedding and at whatever frequency they both desire 😅🤣

#jikook antis #some of my antis are honestly just funny

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ranilla-bean · 1 year

Text

in flammam flammas 【火上澆火】

Rating: M

Fandom: Avatar the Last Airbender

Pairing: Sokka/Zuko

Tags: Alternative Universe - Post-Canon, Alternative Universe - Canon Divergence, Healing, Fire Nation Politics, Future Fic, Decolonisation, A Year in the Life, Pining, Baby dragon acquisition, Sexual content in later chapters, Playing with comic canon like dolls, Everyone gets to heal from their trauma as a treat

Words: 94,823

Summary:

Zuko scoffed. “As always, I am the author of my own unhappiness.” Sokka hummed. “Years ago, when it was just us travelling together, we came across this fortune teller. I didn’t believe any of that mumbo-jumbo. But then she said that my life would be full of struggle and anguish, most of it self-inflicted.” It suited Zuko’s life extraordinarily well, he felt. “Sometimes, I feel like I’m the only person in the Fire Nation who has a vision of what it takes for this country to get better.” Sokka turned to face him, but Zuko looked resolutely forwards. “That can’t be true.”

my fic in which zuko turns 25, acquires a baby dragon, tries to do more decolonisation, has a bunch of emotions about family members, and falls in love

#atla #atla fic #atla fanfic #zukka #zukka fic #in flammam flammas #anyway just makin this rebloggable ahhahah #my fic

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aeternallis · 10 months

Text

Kim’s Redemption : A Rant

I think one of the things that I tend to question and kinda struggle with at times being a KP enjoyer is the fandom’s general tendency to soften certain aspects of Kim’s personality and his actions as a way of redeeming him, either due to the influence of Jeff Satur’s media personality and/or when he’s compared to Vegas and Kinn.

And before I say anything else, this is not a jab towards anyone in particular, it’s just me ranting about my favorite character, so you can go on about your day if you don’t wanna read what I gotta say. 😆

I think part of my struggle comes from the fact that since Kim barely has any scenes in the show that lasts longer than 2-3 mins, I’m also somewhat constricted from the few assumptions I can make in how I interpret him, especially when I’m writing fic (which I am doing atm). Which in and of itself isn’t totally a bad thing, at least I don’t think so; if anything, I think that makes it a lot more fun as a challenge.

For example, if you were to ask me how do I think Porsche would react to finding out Kim had used and manipulated his little brother, I honestly couldn’t tell you. Kim and Chay’s storyline was so cut off from everything else in the beginning that ngl, it was a bit of a whiplash once their narrative finally began to intersect with the main plot, lol I can't really see Porsche getting angry, if nothing else due to his ignorance of Kimchay's situation (which also imo, isn't really a bad thing), but I also don't know if I can see him being lenient towards Kim, because he's also overprotective of Chay.

So in the end, I just choose not to think about it, and work within that framework instead~

But anyway, I digress!

Jeff's media personality and its influence on how Kim is interpreted as a character, that one is pretty much unavoidable, since the two men share the same face and body. XD Some can differentiate between the two much more than others, some tend to meld them as a sort of hybrid and use Kim as the container of a Jeff-esque fantasy, and all in all, that sort of thing is entirely dependent on preference and said fantasy, yknow? So it's just one of those things that I tend to scroll past or move on.

What truly gets me so befuddled though is when Kim is compared to Vegas and Kinn, and between the three of them, somehow Kim is taken to be the least problematic of the three, in terms of how they treated their romantic interest. And I'm not really sure how that conclusion came about, lol. In fact, I even remember reading a meta on here somewhere saying something along the lines of, compared to Vegas and Kinn's actions towards Pete and Porsche respectively, what Kim did to Chay was somewhat lenient and doesn't warrant that much groveling.

And I agree with that, at least in regards to the technical details, because OP was right. Kim never blackmailed Chay, nor assaulted or threatened him; in regards to physical intimacy, Kim never touched Chay in a way that was non-consensual.

But be that as it may, that way of thinking comes from the audience's POV, not Chay as a character.

And it really doesn't, right?

Chay doesn't know--or at the very least, we have no confirmation he's aware--the extent of what Porsche suffered through during the beginnings of his relationship with Kinn; he knows they're together, but I highly doubt Porsche told Chay he was pretty much sexually assaulted that first time. He REALLY doesn't know what's involved in VegasPete's relationship, much less their BDSM proclivities. Lol XD

In other words, Chay's actions and feelings post break-up with Kim (as well as the subsequent reconciliation) are and would be entirely based on his own experience, as they should, not based on the assumption that, when compared to Porsche and Pete's experiences with their respective Theerapanyakul, he got off lightly.

I think personally, something that often tends to be forgotten when Kim is made a lot more soft uWu babygirl than (imo) he really is is the fact that what Chay went through emotionally is, in and of itself, also a form of trauma. Sure, Chay was never physically hurt by Kim, but I don't think the emotional damage Kim dealt him is something that should be taken just for granted either.

There's a reason why this boy spiraled right after that devastating break up, and why he cried out the way he did. So how you interpret and imagine what Chay's next course of action would be if/when forgiving Kim is entirely up to you, including how he would respond and deal with the emotional trauma of that break-up. That scenario would come about based on your own interpretation of the show, your own preferences, and frankly, your own beliefs and life experience. If you think Chay is the type that needs some groveling/begging from Kim in order to heal, go for it, that's completely valid; if you think he can get over it easily enough, that's valid too.

It goes without saying, but just in case~

I stand by what I said before that although Kim has not physically harmed Chay in the way Kinn and Vegas has with Porsche and Pete, he's just as capable of doing that as his brother and cousin. And honestly, that's what makes Kim and the rest of the characters such an awesome bunch to me; a character doesn't have to be morally good in order to be a good character, yknow? Besides, I think that's what makes all three love stories strong enough to stand on their own: these Theerapanyakul men can love fiercely, but they can and have hurt and manipulated the people they love just as fiercely.

The physical and emotional wounds Porsche, Porchay, and Pete have suffered in varying degrees is incomparable, because by doing that in the first place, the characters' agency in turn is taken away.

And don't get me wrong, if you genuinely see Kim as a soft, uWu babygirl because that's how you HC him, go for it and more power to you! XD But if you HC him as being soft, uWu babygirl because he never physically assaulted Chay when you compare his actions to the shit Vegas and Kinn did, well...more power to you too, although I imagine this rant probably feels like a personal attack. Sorry about that~

But for my own interpretation (and limitation I admit, as well as it not being my preference in general; Kim can be soft for Chay and his family, but otherwise, there's a reason Korn doesn't trust him and in the books, is secretly made the true heir), I guess the reason I'm not inclined to see Kim as having a lot of the softer edges fanon!Kim has to the point that it's made part of his overall personality, is because, for me, it almost feels like I would be trivializing Chay's emotional trauma, just so they can quickly get together again and share in the fluff and puff, yknow? Almost like trying to resist the urge to think, "in order for Chay to be able to handle Kim, you gotta soften him up a little bit."

Because then I would be doing a disservice to Chay's character, who imo is more than capable of handling Kim's problematic tendencies. This boy had no problem blocking Kim's ass and pulling away from him, he can handle himself~

And just so we're clear, I'm not saying those fans who do see Kim as a soft, uWu boy with stunted emotions is doing just that, not at all. Just that for me personally, that's kinda the mental block in my noggin. XD Besides that, I'm just a sucker for angst, man.

But meh, at the end of the day, to each their own, yknow? XD That's what makes fandom so much fun, you can pick and choose what you want to engage with.

As an artist / fic writer, I'm just grateful I can feed myself the food I want to see~ Hehe!

#kimchay #meta #kinnporsche #rant post #kpts meta

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dewedup · 10 months

Text

satanic wiles (rain ghoul!reader)

She thought the water ghoul was to be her saviour, but maybe he was just the devil in disguise.

Or the band's assistant gets into a sticky situation and Rain comes to her rescue, but not before taking advantage of her predicament.

18+ ONLY

Pairing: Rain x reader

Fandom: The Band Ghost

Words: 2,770

Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Vaginal Fingering, Ghouls are not human, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Nameless Ghouls, Restraints, kind of?, Reader is stuck, Consensual But Not Safe Or Sane, Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Light Bondage, no beta we die like Nihil, Dewdrop Is A Little Shit (Ghost Sweden Band), Praise Kink

Read below the cut or AO3 link

“Fucking Dewdrop,” She muttered for the third time as she tried in vain to free herself from the amp that was currently holding her hostage. If Dew didn’t spend the majority of rehearsal tossing picks at Swiss and Phantom, she wouldn’t have had to run backstage to a crowded storage room for more, because he couldn't possibly use the perfectly acceptable picks Rain had offered.

Brat.

After diving headfirst over the backup amp, she found the discarded pick bag underneath some extra cables. It was just within reach, her fingers brushing the velvet sack containing the answer to her errand. Being a newly assigned assistant to the band had many perks, like getting to hang out with the ghouls whom she had gotten to know quite well back at the Abbey, and the opportunity to travel the world with the band as they performed rituals wherever the clergy wanted. But it also meant being sent on scavenger hunts for things that should really have been placed in a more convenient location, perhaps beside the stage? Instead, she’s stuck here in a dusty storage room that everything without a home got tossed into when they arrived yesterday with the tour bus.

In hindsight, maybe she should have opted for a t-shirt and jeans to run around and perform her endless tasks, instead of the skirt and corset that called her name this morning. The corset was currently caught in a mounting mechanism attached to the 3-foot-tall amp she was precariously teetering over, her feet dangling uselessly over the edge. If she tried hard enough, she could stretch so the tips of her boots brushed the cement floor beneath her. Not nearly enough leverage to try and free herself.

She flinched at the sound of the door opening behind her, cutting through her thoughts as it swiftly swung shut. She heard the sound of a lock being thrown into place.

“Who’s there?” She raised her voice slightly to be heard from behind the equipment she leaned over. A deep chuckle hit her ears; her eyes narrowed in concentration as she tried to place its owner. “I’m so glad you can find the humour in this situation. How about helping a girl out?” She tried, wiggling ineffectively.

“I came to see if I could offer you a hand, but it looks like you’ll need a bit more assistance," She smiled slightly at the playful tone in Rain’s voice. Of all the ghouls that could come to her rescue, he would be the lesser of evils. If Dew saw her now, she wouldn’t hear the end of it for weeks, probably the entirety of the tour, no doubt with pictures to add to her embarrassment.

“I found the picks, but the amp wanted to get acquainted with my top,” She explained dejectedly, her feet kicking slightly to further her struggle. An involuntary shiver ran down her back as Rain’s hand ghosted along her exposed thigh, resting at the top of her leg. His touch burned her skin, igniting a fire in the pit of her stomach at the way his fingers felt against her flesh.

“Satan himself has graced me today,” Rain mumbled, growling softly as his fingers splayed across her pale skin. She swallowed hard, a damp patch forming shamelessly in her underwear at the tone of his voice. Rain sniffed the air, groaning at the scent of her arousal. Damn if this isn’t the hottest thing to happen to me, she thought as her body reacted pathetically to the ghoul behind her. She squirmed as his fingers moved under her skirt to flirt along the edge of her panties. Thank Lucifer she had the inclination to wear something with lace this morning.

“Colour?” Rain demanded abruptly. Fuck. She jolted as his fingers danced atop the thin fabric separating him from her embarrassingly wet entrance. She whined pathetically as his hand pulled away from her and he repeated his question again, the word pushing through his gritted teeth.

“Green,” She begged pathetically, trying in vain to raise her hips up, desperate for more contact. Rain wasn’t cruel, as soon as the word left her lips his hand was back, immediately pushing past the annoying barrier to run over her slit. He collected her wetness as he circled the edge of her clit. The seconds it took for him to move a finger back over her entrance were agonizing, pulling another embarrassingly needy whine from her lips. He chittered sympathetically as he pushed a single digit in, curling it once he’d gotten down to the knuckle, making her clench around it hungrily.

“So fucking good for me,” Rain praised as he started to move his finger, letting a second digit join to stretch her open further. She moaned as his hand moved with vigour, caressing her from the inside.

“Rain,” She gasped at the feel of a third finger, a pair of lips attaching themselves to her neck. His hand continued its mission to reduce her to a pile of whimpers and cries. She couldn’t recall him taking his helmet off, but the brush of stubble on her bare neck burned her skin sweetly. His scent invaded her nose, petrichor and salt, filling her head with images of what the ghoul behind her looked like behind the mask. She wondered briefly if she begged enough would he flip her over and fuck her while she drank in his features and committed them to memory, able to glimpse exactly what she could do to him, as if his rough voice wasn’t indication enough.

The sound of a zipper sent a tingle of excitement down her spine, the electricity of the feeling fraying her already high-strung body. Rain’s belt buckle clinked as it met the same fate. His pants were no longer a hindrance. She longed to get down on her knees and take him into her mouth. She wanted to see the look on his face as she used her mouth and tongue to take him apart. But the only sight greeting her eyes was the traitorous and long-forgotten velvet pick bag. Would the other ghouls come looking? Surely Dew had reached the end of his current supply of picks and was probably wondering where she had run off to, nearing the storage room only to catch her needy moans and whines as Rain undid her with his skilled fingers.

The thought of being caught was enough to send her over the edge she was already so close to, her orgasm taking her by surprise as she cried out and clenched hard. Rain cursed under his breath as he pulled his hand back, smacking her dripping center lightly. Her depraved mind imagined his fingers coated in her slick wrapping around his cock, sliding and spreading it so that he glistened with her fluid. She could almost come again at the thought of him raising his hand to his face, his tongue darting out to sneak a taste.

A sudden presence at her entrance ripped her from the images her mind had conjured. Rain teased her, rubbing his cock up and down her slit, pressing slightly into the sensitive bundle of nerves above.

“Colour?” His voice was like syrup, sliding over her ears and sweet on the tongue. She bucked her hips slightly, trying to put him exactly where she wanted, earning her a slap to the ass. “Words darling, I need to hear you say it." His mouth was back to her neck, peppering light kisses along the exposed skin, pausing at the junction of her shoulder to nip playfully. Just a phantom touch of his teeth, sharp fangs grazing the skin slightly. Fuck, she wished he would bite down with force, leaving her with a mark to memorialize this scandalous moment. Her silence wore thin on Rain’s patience, his teeth coming to bite a little more forcefully, a sweet, little cry falling from her lips.

“I could always just leave you like this,” Rain threatened softly, his hand wrapping carefully around her throat to pull her head up, creating an uncomfortable but not unwelcome position with how her upper body was still attached to the amp. “Dripping and needy, begging for my cock. I wonder who’d find you next, if they’d fuck you as good as I would." He paused his rambling as she squirmed under him, a pool of warmth flooding from her at the thought of another ghoul taking advantage of her current circumstances. His hips jerked slightly, surprised at the scent of her fresh arousal. “Oh, you’d like that wouldn’t you?” He hissed. Another pass over her slit had her seeing stars.

“Green,” The plea barely left her lips before he pushed in completely, bottoming out inside of her.

“Good girl,” The praise fell from Rain’s lips with a groan. He brought his face to her neck, running his tongue over the overheated skin as he stilled, giving her time to adjust to his size. He was bigger than she expected, filling her with a slight burn that soon turned pleasurable as she got used to the stretch.

“Shit Rain, please fuck me,” She moaned as he listened to her plead, slowly starting to move within her, dragging back, almost pulling completely out, before slamming back in. The edge of the amp dug into her waist with every powerful thrust, pushing the air out of her lungs and creating a dull throb of pain. Rain seemed to acknowledge this, his hands leaving her neck to grip her hips tightly, lifting her slightly up to match his movements and avoid the amp. The angle this created had Rain brushing against the spot that made her see stars with every thrust. If she had use of her legs, they would fail her instantly from the amount of pleasure she was being given.

Rain kept a steady pace, relentlessly pounding into her as her hands roamed desperately to find purchase somewhere. Her nails dug uselessly on the surface of the amp, most likely leaving some incriminating scratch marks. Like he had a direct link to her train of thought, Rain shifted positions, pushing in until he was flush against her, hands leaving her hips to grab both of her wrists and yank them behind her back. Her walls squeezed around him as he transferred both of her wrists to one hand, using the other to snake between her and the amp. A chuckle came from deep in his throat as it found its intended destination.

He teased her clit as he ground into her, circulating his hips in tandem with his fingers and pushing her over the edge of another mind-blowing orgasm. Rain groaned as he fucked her through it, her cries completely unmuffled and announcing their activities to anyone in the immediate vicinity. She wouldn’t be surprised if the fans waiting outside for the front of the pit could hear their favourite bassist bringing her to another climax.

Rain’s hips stuttered as his growing knot began to push against her entrance. She’d never needed something more in her life than to be stuffed full of his cock and knot. She pushed back eagerly but Rain’s hands moved to grip her hips hard, stilling her movement.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, you’ve never taken a knot before,” Rain let out a soft groan as she tried once again to impale herself on him.

“Ask me for a colour,” She demanded breathlessly, clenching down on him with anticipation.

“W-what?” Rain stuttered, his head swimming in the sensation as she squeezed around him again.

“I said ask me for a fucking colour,” She spat, not even having the decency to be ashamed of how badly she needed this, something she’d never experienced.

“Colour?” Rain breathed out, his grip on her hips tightening to an almost painful level.

“Green, holy mother of Satan fucking green, Rain. Please knot me, fill me up, I need you." She begged, and Rain really didn’t need any more convincing. He proceeded to fuck into her, slow and shallow at first, before he began to pick up speed. He brutally thrust until his knot pushed its way in, her opening stretching to an almost painful width to accommodate him. Rain released a primal growl as he spilled his seed deep within her, hitting places she was sure no other man had managed to reach. The pleasure from the overstimulation and pain wrenched another climax from her, a strangled cry leaving her lips at the assault on her senses.

Rain slumped against her, pushing her body into the amplifier. He leaned up to kiss and nibble at her neck as he waited for the swelling of his knot to go down. She melted into him as he moved his hands over her body. They stayed like that, connected in the moment, until Rain chuckled softly.

"What?" She questioned, turning her head to look at him but was met with his hand on her chin, keeping her gaze firmly away. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her temple in apology, but didn't allow her to see his face.

"I won the bet." He spoke the words like a coveted secret, and she supposes it is, since she had no idea what he was talking about. The confusion must have been evident in her body language, as Rain elabortated. "Dew bet the band that he'd be the first to taste you, see you unravel beneath him, to hear the sounds of your pleasure..." He trailed off, seemingly lost in thought.

"So that's all this was? Some stupid bet between you guys?" She couldn't deny the pang of hurt that echoed in her chest. Here she was, having one of the best sexual experiences in her life all because Rain wanted to brag to the band. She felt like a pawn in their game. All her feelings of passion and pleasure were nothing more than a way for them to prove their manhood. She felt traitorous tears pooling her eyes. Rain once again read her like a book, his head pushing into her neck as he purred softly.

"Don't be absurd," He admonished gently. "I've been drawn to you since the moment I laid eyes on you. But while this is has been a fantasy come to life, I admit I will get some sick pleasure in seeing the look on Dew's face when he catches a sniff of my scent all over you." She blushed at the thought, now knowing the ghouls would be able to smell exactly what had taken place in this storage room. It sent a thrill of excitement down her spine, and she had to agree that she was interested in the reactions of his fellow band members.

"I don't suppose you'll make good on your threat from earlier and leave me for the next unsuspecting victim to stumble upon this room?" She still felt slight arousal at the thought of being used by another ghoul, but she was tired and would love to not be stuck in this position any longer. A quick shower and a small nap before the show tonight sounded ideal.

"I think you deserve a reward," Rain chuckled, pulling back and stepping away from her completely. She whined at the loss of his touch, the sound of his belt buckle clinking back into place echoing through the quiet room. Within a few seconds his hands were back around her, lifting her up with one arm. His other hand came underneath to detach her corset from where it was snagged on the amp. He continued to raise her up and over the amp, her hand snatching out quickly to grab the velvet bag that had gotten her into this mess in the first place.

When she turned around in his arms she was slightly disappointed to see his helmet back in place. But the black mouth covering was bunched around his neck, exposing the lower half of his face. Her free hand lifted to run over his stubble-covered cheek. Rain moved a hand under her chin, tilting her face up so he could lean down and place a soft kiss on her lips, his helmet clumsily bumping her nose. They both pulled back chuckling.

"Shall we return those to their rightful owner?" Rain questioned as he moved to open the door for her, motioning down the hallway as a mischievous smirk spread across his lips before he put his mouth cover back in its intended position.

"I'd love to," She replied, stepping out of the room with anticipation of a certain fire ghoul's reaction.

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