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#i bought myself some credits as an early birthday present

joshjacksons · 3 years

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Joshua Jackson interview with "Mr Porter" (2021)

Minutes before Mr Joshua Jackson joins me in a booth for a Friday afternoon drink at a vibey hotel bar in Santa Monica, he’s confronted by his past. Or rather, a woman in her early twenties who is binge-watching Dawson’s Creek, the teen show about a close-knit group of high-school friends coming of age in a sleepy American town, which made Jackson incredibly famous between 1998 and 2003. The series, which also made household names of Ms Michelle Williams and Ms Katie Holmes, went off air 18 years ago, but is now streaming on Netflix, to the bemusement of Jackson, who played lovable rogue Pacey Witter. “This girl was like, ‘Are you...?’ And I’m like, ‘Yes, I am. He got old. I’m sorry to break it to you,’” he says, before ordering an iced tea and a charcuterie board to tide him over until dinner time. “It always surprises me when young people say they’ve just got into Dawson’s Creek. I’m like, ‘Is it a costume drama to you? Do you feel like you’re watching a historical documentary?’”

The idea of a Friends-style reunion episode or a Sex And The City revival feels equally far-fetched to Canadian-born Jackson, now 43 and wearing it well in a pale green linen shirt and tailored linen trousers by Oliver Spencer that complement his fading brown hair and Cali-tanned skin.

“I don’t know why you’d want to [bring it back],” he says. “Nobody needs to know what those characters are doing in middle age. We left them in a nice place. Nobody needs to see that Pacey’s back hurts. I don’t think we need that update.”

And Jackson doesn’t need Dawson’s Creek. From Mr JJ Abrams’ sci-fi series Fringe (2008-2013) to the Golden Globe award-winning The Affair (2014-2019), from Ms Ava DuVernay’s ground-breaking true-crime drama When They See Us (2019) to the recent Ms Reese Witherspoon and Ms Kerry Washington-produced Little Fires Everywhere (2020), he has commanded the small screen – with a collection of dynamic and diverse work – ever since.

His latest role as Mr Christopher Duntsch, the Texas surgeon convicted of gross malpractice when 33 of his patients were left seriously injured after he operated on them and two of them died, in chilling Peacock crime drama Dr Death, is only stepping his career up another gear.

“I’ve never played anyone irredeemable before,” says Jackson, who is joined in the eight-part series (based on the 2018 Wondery podcast of the same name) by Messrs Christian Slater and Alec Baldwin. “He is charming, gregarious and has a high-level intellect, but he’s also a misogynist, probably a sociopath, certainly a narcissist and a complete incompetent who is incapable of seeing himself.”

If Duntsch is terrifying, then Jackson’s portrayal is even more so. The artist formerly known as Pacey is virtually unrecognisable (thanks to prosthetics) in the opening scene, but the real challenge for Jackson was allowing himself to view someone who is so “spectacularly evil” as a human being in order to walk in his shoes. “It’s a more damning portrayal of the man to make him into a human being, rather than just make him the bad guy,” he says. “He really believes he’s the hero, he’s the genius and that he’s the victim, so once I got past my own judgment, all the other things fell into place.”

Jackson might have his pick of stellar roles – and challenges – now, but it has not happened by accident. Take it from someone who has been in the business since landing his first job aged 14 in Disney’s live-action movie series The Mighty Ducks, opposite Brat Pack alumnus Mr Emilio Estevez.

“You try to make it look like it happens accidentally,” he says, “but there is no way to do this and not be ambitious. I’d say I’m extremely ambitious because I’ve been doing this cutthroat job for nearly 30 years. I’m in the pay-off phase of my career now. One of the benefits of surviving for as long as I have is you get to learn from your own mistakes.”

Such as? “I wouldn’t say, ‘I wish I hadn’t done that,’ because it all becomes bricks in a path, but [after Dawson’s Creek] I was not choosy enough about the things I was doing. You get stuck. You start trying to perform the performance you think people are hoping to see you do. I was so used to working all the time that I just worked all the time. There was definitely a conscious moment in my mid-twenties when I realised I wasn’t really enjoying the work that I was doing. My manager at the time just said, ‘Take a breath. You’re burnt out.’”

The turning point came in 2005, when Jackson was offered a role in the two-hander Mr David Mamet play A Life In The Theatre, opposite Sir Patrick Stewart. “God bless him, Patrick could have made my life miserable because I had no idea what I was doing, ” he says. “I hadn’t been on stage since I was a kid and now I was in the West End in over my head. But it reminded me that I actually enjoyed being an actor, that it’s not about the red carpet or travelling around the world. What I really enjoy is working on good material with good people.”

It’s no surprise Jackson’s time on Dawson’s Creek led to a career crisis. From the ages of 19 to 24, he lived with his fellow cast mates in Wilmington, North Carolina, filming day in, day out, in an arrangement he likens to college. “You get to the end and they’re like, ‘Here’s your degree. Go live now. You’re an adult. Go out into the world,’” he says.

But most graduates don’t have to deal with global fame. “It’s transitory. You’re only ever cool for a moment and then you become much less cool. I was always pretty dubious about flatterers,” he says, recalling a time he was stung in London in the mid-2000s. “I went on a date in Hyde Park with a woman whose name I will not use – she was socialite-famous – and she was acting completely bizarre, looking over her shoulder the whole time. I came to find out that she had hired a photographer to follow us through the park and gave a whole story to the tabloids about how I was going to meet her family.”

It was his growing fortune, rather than fame, that caused Jackson the most anxiety. “Suddenly, at 19 years old, I was making more in a week than most of my friends’ parents would make in a year,” he says. “It was lovely to have the money, but it was that feeling of nobody is worth that kind of money. You feel like a fraud and it took me a long time to forgive myself for not being the thing that I was perceived as.”

Born in Vancouver, but raised in Topanga, California, until he was eight (before moving back to Vancouver following his parents’ divorce), Jackson bought his childhood home in 2001 and lives in it today with his wife, British Queen & Slim actor Ms Jodie Turner-Smith, and their 15-month-old daughter.

“My father unfortunately was not a good father or a husband and exited the scene, but that house in Topanga was where everything felt simple, so it was a very healing thing for me to do,” he says. Fast-forward to 2021 and his baby daughter now sleeps in her father’s childhood bedroom. “There was a mural of a dragon on the wall in that room that I couldn’t believe was still there, years later. The owner [who sold him the house] said, ‘I knew it meant a lot to somebody and that they were going to come back for it some day.’”

Becoming a first-time parent during a pandemic sounds stressful, but it afforded Jackson months at home with his wife and child that his normal work schedule wouldn’t have allowed.

“I now recognise how perverse the way that we have set up our society is,” he says. “There is not a father I know who works a regular job who didn’t go back to the office a week later. It’s robbing that man of the opportunity to bond with his child and spend time with his partner.”

Despite his obvious career ambitions, fatherhood has changed Jackson’s priorities in “every possible way”, he says. “It’s 100 per cent changed how I approach my work and my life. That has been made so clear to me in this past year. For me to feel good about what I’m doing day to day, my family has to be the central focus.

“There are plenty of things left for me to do, but now the thing that gets me excited is experiencing the world through my daughter’s eyes. I can’t wait to take her scuba diving. I can’t wait to take her skiing. I can’t wait to read a great book with her. I’m not worried at all she’ll be a wallflower. She’s been a character from the word go.”

Jackson met Turner-Smith, 34, two days after his 40th birthday. He had been single since his 10-year relationship with German actress Ms Diane Kruger ended in 2016. “I was not looking to fall in love again or meet the mother of my child, but life has other plans for you,” he says.

The couple met at a party. Turner-Smith was wearing the same The Future Is Female Ejaculation T-shirt Ms Tessa Thompson’s character, Detroit, wears in the 2018 film Sorry To Bother You. “That’s what I used to break the ice. I shouted, ‘Detroit!’ across the room. Not the smoothest thing I’ve ever done, but it worked. We were pretty much inseparable from the word go. It was a whirlwind romance and I can tell my daughter I literally saw her mother across a room and thought, ‘I have to be next to this woman.’”

A self-confessed “useless” shopper, Jackson gives his wife full credit for his current wardrobe. He is jewellery-free, apart from a wedding band and a gold signet “JJ” ring on his little finger (a present from his wife), and discovered tailored sweatsuits (by Stampd and Reigning Champ) in the pandemic.

“Jodie has influence in the way that a wonderful wife encourages you, through love, to dress well. She was like, ‘We’re going to throw away all the sweatpants from your past and I’m going to get you some that actually make you look like an adult male and you will still feel comfortable around the house,’ and I’m like, ‘What an amazing idea!’ Who knew you could get sweatsuits that actually look good on your body?”

Jackson’s style has evolved, he says, “from slovenly teen to it’s-nice-when-your-clothes-actually-fit-you”. The penny dropped after he auditioned for his former co-star Estevez, who was directing the 2006 Mr Robert Kennedy biopic Bobby. He said to me, ‘You only got this job because I know you. You came in here to play a very well-put together 1960s political operative and you’re wearing jeans and a hoodie.’

“I had to grow up a little bit. We are very much raised in Canada to never, ever show off, so it took me a while to recognise it’s OK to look good when you go out.”

Still, when you’ve grown up in front of the camera, “every pimple literally documented”, and lived (very successfully) to tell the tale, you can probably be forgiven for the odd fashion faux pas.

“I wore a silk Ascot to an event once in Paris and I still have nightmares about it,” he says. “I looked like Fred from Scooby Doo, but you live and learn.”

#joshua jackson #interviews #jodie turner smith #dawson's creek #dr death #fringe #emilio estevez #mr porter #patrick stewart #michelle williams #katie holmes

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altalksaboutstuff · 4 years

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Shantae: 1/2 Genie Hero

From the 16th of this month, March 2020, to the 15th of next month, April 2020, Games with Gold has the excellent platformer – Shantae: ½ Genie Hero. As long as you have an active Xbox Live or Xbox Gamepass Ultimate subscription

It's “FREE” to download during that period but even after April 15th, you can keep playing it, it won't leave your library and if you let your subscription expire it will still remain, you just can't play it.

I have had Gamepass for about a year now, I wanted to kind of document my journey and time with games on Gamepass and one of the first that I played when I got the service last year was Shantae: ½ Genie Hero. Unfortunately, this game is no longer available on the service and I thought back in September of 2019 that I had lost my chance to talk about it in a relevant sense, but lo and behold its back now – kind of, in a zombie-esque way.

The game expiring from Gamepass was actually the launching point for me to a Switch. It was my birthday in September and Shantae was just about to be removed from the service, great present Microsoft. I was kind of depressed that in this moment in my life that I had spent about a quarter of a year playing the game that was just going to up and leave. Now I could have bought it and at a discount but if I did that I would be getting just the base game that I was practically done with. I also had all this extra money from my birthday burning a hole in my pocket and instead doing something smart like putting towards my mortgage – I ended up buying a Switch to cheer me up. And what does the Switch have but the physical version of Shantae: ½ Genie Hero that includes all the DLC.

THAT – and the fact that one of my favorite games of all time was just remade – Link's Awakening.

So I got those two games to cope with the fact that I wouldn't be able to play Shantae on Gamepass anymore in a few days ...but I had also gotten my wife a Switch Lite for our anniversary so I kind of wanted a reason to give it to them early and we had a Switcheversay on September 28th.

NERD!

On a side note of this tangent – I feel like I'm always a little behind with Nintendo, with my earliest exposure to Nintendo being no different. Way back in the dark ages of the early 1990s I was a Genesis Lad. After school I was in a program where I first got to play a Nintendo game, there were NES consoles, games and Ataris as well. While kids at school were telling me, “YA GOTTA PLAY Donkey Kong Country 2 and Mega Man X!” The cutting edge stuff of the time, I would root around and find other games like Donkey Kong Jr. and Mega Man 2 on NES. Now don't get me wrong, those were great games I loved then and still love now but I was behind the times. I just didn't have a Super Nintendo, like most of my peers that I went to school with. I just had the Sega. So when most were playing Super Mario World, Chrono Trigger and A Link to Past – I was playing Sonic... Sonic (Sonic 2)... and Sonic... (Sonic 3 but not & knuckles)

BUT Sonic is great!

When my friends had a Gameboy Advance, I still had a Gameboy Color. When the DS was the hot handheld, I got a Gameboy Advance, I got a 3DS around the time Fire Emblem Fates came out when it seemed like everyone was clamoring for a new portable technology and I got a Wii U when it was all but dead. As previous stated, I only got a Switch last September. Heck, I haven't even played the new Mary-o yet

Pushing forwarding in the way back machine to the time when I was a still a young teen, at the age of 14, I remember a Gameboy Color game came out that I really wanted to get – Shantae. I don't even know why I really wanted it other than it was a new Gameboy Color game when new Gameboy Color games weren't coming out. Like, I remember the Gameboy Advance came out about a year ago but I didn't need one according to my parents-

Me: Mom, can I get a Gameboy Advanced? Mom: You have Gameboy Advance at Home ::At home::

So the impact of a new Gameboy Color game coming out - blew … me … away.

Of course - I didn't get that game either.

Now don't get me wrong, I still got games as a kid on birthdays and Christmas but I feel like the games I didn't get are the ones I look back at and think – If only...

(^I never had a Neo Geo but I wanted this game)

Love you Mom and Dad

Back to Shantae though

Tangents aside – why do I think I like this game?

Why is it when I played Half Genie Hero in June of 2019 did I really got hooked on it well until the end of summer? I play, play, played it – all the modes, collect the endings, the tedious achievements like Queen of the Seven Cheese where you have to beat Risky Boots by just chomping at her as a mouse doing 1 damage at at a time.... ugh! For achievements I even … gasp (teeth noise) … speed ran it. And successfully, not on my first attempt though! Or … at least successfully enough to get the endings and achievements. I've never speed ran a game before, at least on purpose. I drew bad fan art!

(^Unlike everything else on this post, I actually drew that [sorry])

For the first time in my life I even looked into Fan Fiction.

Which, on a side note, I don't recommend you look at most of the fan fiction that I’ve seen if you are at work.

The game really got its hooks into me and I'm not exactly sure why but I think I might know.

Well, it feels like a SEGA Genesis game – long story short.

Short story long - I think the best way to classify what kind of game this is, is Metroidvania. You have a mini map and you unlock powers that later allow you to explore the rest of the levels you had previous been to and there are collectibles and upgrades you can buy in game. As you play you can upgrade how Shantae attacks by purchasing upgrades for her hair whip attack or armor but the big mechanic is the transformations – you can turn into animals with varied attacks and abilities as well as some other inanimate objects and living things like this tree

- to help you better get across the stages and discover the secrets of Sequin Land.

I've also read its kind of Mega Man– ish which I had never really thought about before but yeah, because I do love some Mega Man. It has a lot of obstacles/the levels are kinds of obstacle courses like the early NES Mega Man games and there are two areas particularly in my mind – The factory in Mermaid Falls and the Hypno Baron's Castle part of the … Hypno Baron's Castle stage. Well most of it is actually like an obstacle course now that I think about it

The score is by Jake Kauffman and man, AND if I ever make a game I want that guy doing my music. I mentioned the factory part of Mermaid Falls before – the best track in the game and maybe even in any game I've ever heard is Counterfeit Mermaids, its such an earworm,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkXd26E_Ynw

I feel like this song and Neo Town Burning are the two best games

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yParHIzy1nA

You are going to be in the camp that one is better than the other (though Counterfeit Mermaids is clearly the superior track, ahem)

Its a great soundtrack, I find myself tuning into it during my commute to work and sometime even turning off my podcast or audio books to listen to this soundtrack (yes Even Neo Town Burning too). The game's lead voice actress according IMDB is Cristina Valenzuela (sometimes credited as Cristina Vee) who sings the games title theme that also appears in the first level, Scuttle Town the first time you play the level and also when you first boot up the game its there too. POW! Give it a listen – sample plays and fades. Its great. This soundtrack is really memorable and still in my rotation almost a year after I played it for the first time.

The characters themselves too are varied in personality and the styles are now toted as being“in high definition”.

Shantae is my least favorite but I think that works well in the sense of self insert. And that's not to say Shantae doesn't have a personality, she is kind of bubbly and she cares a lot about her ties such as to her family - such her uncle Mimic and her late mother - and to her friends. The three main friends that back Shantae during her journey (that also get their own adventure in the DLC)

Sky - a somewhat more responsible friend of your that is out to give you some counsel and a ride to each stage on her cool bird

Bolo – who offers a bit of comic relief

Rotty Tops the zombie that is a true friend that shows up to support you and cheer you on, in one time literally too.

By the way there is also Risky Boots (the best character, IMO) who is the larger than life antagonist to akin to a comic book villain.

But even with the “HD” graphics, and incredible score everything about just feels like … a Sega game. I can't really put it to words to do it justice, like, it has the essence of games I grew up with. I know a lot of people already had that nostalgia rush with Freedom Planet or Sonic Mania but I only just got Freedom Planet on Switch

Which is great so far, by the way

and Sonic Mania is on my to do pile

so for me – Shantae was it.

I felt that joy like I was 5 years old playing Sonic 2 for the first time. I took me something embarrassing like 8 hours to beat the first time. But after I beat it, I immediately wanted to play it again. I almost NEVER want to replay a game after I beat it – Best case is I take a break and play it again in a year. While it took me a laughable amount of hours to beat the game the first time but by the time I was really invested and on the 3rd or 4th time replaying it, I was completing it in under 2 hours. I was looking up speed running strats and Youtube videos of people speed running the game to compare and contrast how I played the game. I never, ever thought that I would speed run a game. Super Metroid still takes me an embarrassing number of hours to play and I've beat that almost as many times as Shantae now.

Having played both the Xbox One and Switch versions they look pretty similar and seem to play about the same. I noticed that the game seems to run a bit better on the Xbox One and the load times aren't as long

So I really recommend you get this game. I'm super jealous if you've never played it, you get to experience it for the first time! If you don't have an Xbox One but have a Switch you can get the physical version for pretty cheap, used I got this copy for about $20 and it has all the game content. And with the DLC you can finally play as Risky Boots!

It goes without saying that the game I am most excited for this year, 2020 is going to be Shantae and the Seven Sirens.

If you don't have an Xbox or a Switch, the game is also on PC too. Steam has sales, last time the Ultimate Edition was on sale it was only about $21 (show pic) and with a plug and play controls great.

And just as I was checking before posting this, it is on sale for $20.99 until March 30th, 2020

Its also on PS4, I guess if you don’t have any other options

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dropsiaczek-the-smartest-avenger · 5 years

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Happy birthday!

Okay, I know Tom’s b-day was a week ago, but I had to struggle through a writer’s block caused by my lovely students.

(Gif’s not mine, all credits to the original owner)

Tom Hiddleston x fem!reader

Word count: 1490

Warnings: swearing

“What a beautiful day it is!” Tom exclaimed as we walked slowly hand in hand through Central Park. It was morning of a surprisingly warm day in early February. The sun was shining, and light wind was blowing.

“Right, it’s your last day of being 37, and since tomorrow, when you’re 38, everything is going to be different,” I teased with a laugh.

“Definitely! And you better have something big waiting for me back in London!”

“I bought you a spot at the cemetery, is that enough?” I asked with a serious look on my face.

“You serious?” Tom asked, a little shocked.

“Dead serious,” I replied, but I couldn’t hold a serious look anymore and bursted out with laughter. “Kidding. But when you see the surprise I prepared for you, you, in fact, may need that spot.”

“I think I can handle that,” Tom promised and kissed the top of my head. “Coffee?”

I nodded in agreement, so we approached a man with a coffee trolley. “What would you like?” the man asked.

“Café americano, please.”

“Make it two,” added Tom.

“So, you’re tourists, huh?” The man started a small chat. “How long are you staying in New York?”

“Actually, it’s our last day. We’re leaving today. We’ve been here for two weeks,” Tom answered.

“Oh, you won’t depart today,” the man stated flatly.

“Excuse me?” I asked in disbelief.

“Weather forecast says there’s going to be a heavy snowfall, and weather forecasts here are usually very accurate.”

None of us felt like continuing this conversation, so we paid for the coffee and went on. Neither me nor Tom said anything. I was worried like hell. The surprise I had planned for Tom was to start right at the airport, the moment we exit the gate. I had planned everything just in time and I didn’t calculate any delay in my plan. Stupid me.

“(Y/n),” Tom’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts. “(Y/n), what’s wrong? You seem worried.”

“What if we really don’t leave?”

“Oh, come on! The day is so beautiful, and the weather doesn’t change just like that,” and Tom snapped his fingers.

“I hope you’re right. And I also think we should head to the hotel to finish packing. We’ll have to check out soon.”

We were on our way to the JFK airport when clouds have come, and snow started to fall.

“Well…the man might have been right,” I whispered.

“Don’t panic, everything is going to be fine,” Tom whispered back, stroking my hand and giving me a reassuring smile.

“I’m praying you’re right.”

I remained silent for the rest of the road. The weather was getting worse and worse, and I was really wondering what I’ll do if we get stuck at the airport. As we entered the terminal information boards said that all planes are on time and that calmed me down, so we headed for the check-in and on to the security control. And then the nightmare started. Snow started to fall so hard that plane’s headlights were barely visible. The first information that appeared on the screens was that all planes are delayed. Then we were given an information that some flights are redirected to airports in other cities, and that passengers will be transported by road to the right airport. And finally, the worst information, that upcoming flights are cancelled until the weather conditions get better.

“Holy fuck,” I muttered under my breath. I excused myself and went aside to call Benedict, who was the b-day project coordinator in London.

“(Y/n)? Shouldn’t you be already in the air?” I heard Ben’s voice through the phone.

“The weather got shitty and we’re stuck,” I said shortly.

“Fuck, (y/n)…”

“I know, I know, I’m a logistics graduate and I should have calculated the risk, but I didn’t do it and it’s too late now. What should I do now?”

“I don’t know, make something up. And let me know when you board the plane.”

“Okay, bye.” I hung up the phone and went back to where Tom was sitting.

“So, what are the options? You’re the expert here, (y/n),” Tom asked.

“If the airline cancels your flight, it should provide you with a place on a different plane. But this won’t happen, since all flights are cancelled. And also, we could go on two different planes. It depends on the number of available places. Other option is that, when the plane is delayed by more than two hours, the airline should provide us with a room at a hotel, which also doesn’t help much in our current situation,” I explained.

“So maybe I’ll go and try to find something out?” Tom suggested.

I nodded in agreement. Tom’s departure gave me some well-needed time to think. I was sure we’d be stuck at the airport until the next day, so I had to come up with an idea how to make Tom’s birthday a little less shitty. Let’s face it, camping at the airport for God knows how long, was not the birthday party of his dreams. And it was the first big occasion since we started dating, and I wanted it to be special. I mean, I know it would be special, but in a bad way.

“They don’t know anything. All announcements will be given through speakers,” Tom said, sitting back next to me.

“I need a smoke, all this is not for my nerves,” I murmured, trying to get up but Tom grabbed my arm.

“Hey, you said you quit.”

“I did, but cigarettes always helped me relieve stress.”

“(Y/n), it’s four months since you quit, and you want to ruin it now, for something so trivial?”

“Trivial? Thomas, we’re stuck at the fuckin’ airport with no information about when we’ll depart, and our luggage is already checked-in so we can’t leave and get a hotel. And to make matters even worse, it’s your birthday tomorrow, or practically today, to be specific, and everything I’ve prepared is waiting for you in London!”

“Calm down, (y/n). My birthday is not the most important matter in the world.”

“It is to me,” I snapped and pulled my arm from Tom’s grasp. “I’m going for a walk. Please don’t follow me.” With these words I left in an unspecified direction. I was so angry. And I cry when I’m angry. So, I roamed the terminal crying like an idiot. And in this moment of despair I came up with an idea of a last-minute birthday present. It wasn’t the best of my ideas, but it was better than none. I went to the nearest store and bought a pen, and a pink glittery notebook withI (heart) NY written on the cover. The idea was to approach people and ask them to write some birthday wishes in their mother tongue, and maybe draw something. Pathetic, I know, but the best I could think of at that time. To my surprise, people were eager to wish my boyfriend happy birthday, especially when they were told that my boyfriend is Tom Hiddleston, so soon I had a notebook full of wishes in over two dozen of different languages, and many pretty drawings, mostly of Loki. When the first part of my plan was completed, I headed to the information desk, to fulfil the second part, although I doubted it would succeed.

I explained the whole situation to the lady at the information desk, and again, to my surprise, she let me say something through the speakers. “May I have your attention, please,” I started, voice a little shaky. “I have an announcement. There’s a very special someone sitting here at the terminal, and it’s his birthday today. Everything was supposed to be different, way better, to be specific, but I have to act under the circumstances that occurred. Thomas, you are the sweetest and loveliest person I know, may all your sweet dreams come true. Happy birthday. I love you.” My voice started to break, so I had to take a break before I continued. “And now to everyone that hears me. I kindly ask you to sing with me a happy birthday to this very special person.” And I was surprised again, because I heard many voices singing along with me.

I kindly thanked the ladies at the information desk and headed back to Tom, who was sitting right where I left him, completely stunned. He gave me a questioning look. “I made it up as I went,” I replied with a shrug and handed the notebook to Tom. A smile formed on his handsome face when he flicked through pages filled with drawings and wishes he probably didn’t understand.

“You didn’t have to,” he said, pulling me down to the seat next to him and into a hug.

“I did, you deserve it. And I love you like crazy. Happy birthday, sweetheart,” I said, placing a sweet kiss to his lips.

#birthday #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston imagine #Tom Hiddleston fandom #tom hiddleston fanfiction #tom hiddleston fic #tom hiddleston x ofc #tom hiddleston x you #tom hiddleston x y/n #09.02.2019 #02.09.1981 #Thomas William Hiddleston

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putschki1969 · 6 years

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Hikaru Birthday Event 2018 – Live Report

So…since my last report was stupidly deleted by yours truly and I only provided a mini-report, I thought I would write a proper one for you now. This time around I am using google docs so I hope nothing will be deleted. Without further ado, let’s get to it!

The day of the event was my second day in Japan. I was still quite exhausted from my travels but oh well, it wasn’t too bad. I got up pretty early and met up with my friend Sai to line up for the merchandise. We were at the venue (Suntory Hall Tokyo) at around 10 am to make sure we got everything we wanted. Thankfully the wait wasn’t too bad since we were protected from the sun underneath the building. It was still humid as hell but pretty bearable. Some Japanese Kala-fans from twitter said “hi” to me and as always I was super awkward. Sorry!! Anyways, after the wait was over, we finally got to buy our goods. I bought pretty much everything except the towel because meh, I am not a fan of towels. So yeah, I got the white shirt with the pink triangle, the cap, the ticket file and the booklet\clearfile set. Here’s a sneak peek at the booklet in case you haven’t seen it yet 〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→ CLICK ME

By the way, the goods are available on the Space Craft Online Store since yesterday so be sure to get them quickly!! https://spacecraft-shop.jp/kalafina

Afterwards we headed to “La Maison Kioi” (the Kalafina SPICE interview location) to enjoy some cake. Then we headed to Shibuya to check out the Starbucks seat Keiko sat at in the 10th Anniversary Film. Just a while back, Hikaru had tried out a Calpis drink so e decided to have it too. The place (Afternoon Tearoom) was close by so that was very convenient. The lassi was certainly interesting, it had quite the unique taste, not sure I would order it again though XD.

Slowly heading back to the venue, we came across a bunch of fellow Kala-fans who had just gotten out of the afternoon event. We only heard good stuff so of course we were more than excited. At the venue we met up with lots of other Kala-fans and made some new friends. Then after another hour or so we were finally allowed inside. I delivered my letter and the ones by @theraspberrybushes and @mello-chi and then I went to my seat.

The event started on time…with a more or less unspectacular power point presentation regarding all the questions Hikaru had been asked in the questionnaire. I am pretty sure they used all the questions because there were at least 40 or something. No way in hell I could memorise all of that, especially since the questions/answers went by way too fast. Some random stuff I remember. • Hikaru’s favourite numbers are 2 and 7 • She owns around 1000 mangas • She can read a volume in about 30 minutes • If she hadn’t become a singer she would have wanted to become a mother in her 20ies • The type of character she likes in games: Men-tough; Women-peculiar and beautiful • The type of men she likes: Kind and calm • Favourite colours: Monochrome, blue and red • Favourite game: Momotaro Dentetsu • He favourite castle is Himeji • Her favourite characters in FGO are Gilgamesh and Shiki

Sorry, I can’t think of anything else. She also replied to my questions about recommendations in Toyama but she wrote like ten places or something and there was just no way for me to read it that quickly (especially since I suck when it comes to location kanji) But really, the questions weren’t exactly the highlight of the event but the most amazing part about this section were the childhood pictures of Hikaru which were randomly thrown in between questions. Like seriously the cutest pictures ever of baby Hikaru (and her little sister). Chibi-Hikaru was so freaking adorable, I could barely contain myself. We saw her wrapped up in cute winter clothes with her cheeks all red from the cold. With pig-tails! (♥ω♥*) We saw her in her pjs at home watching TV.

Then she finally came on stage wearing the gorgeous outfit you saw in the blog post. The top is by IENA in case anyone is interested. Of course I ended up buying it because how could I resist???? http://zozo.jp/?c=gr&did=55355842

She sat down and personally replied to three more questions that were asked frequently. The first one was about her in-ear-monitors. Someone was curious what they always hear when they wear them. Hikaru explained how they work and how they tune out unnecessary noises etc. Next question was about which merchandise she designed was the most memorable for her. She didn’t actually reply to that question iirc but she used that opportunity to introduce this event’s goods. A staff member rolled up a cart with all the merchandise and she introduced them all similar to what she wrote in the Harmony countdown. Sakurada Hirotaka helped her come up with the goods so he deserves credit as well. She also explained that the colours of the shirts represented Kalafina’s origin colours. The final question was about mobile games and how much time she usually spends playing them. If she is into a game and there is an event going on, she will pretty much play all day long. As soon as she gets up, on the train, during breaks, in bed…until she falls asleep XD

Next up was the manga corner. I spaced out a little here. She always read a page out of one of her beloved mangas and then she talked about why this section felt so special to her. ・xxxHOLiC ・My Hero Accademia ・Tenshi Nanka Ja Nai

Please don’t ask me what she talked about. I have literally no idea. I have never heard of these mangas so it didn’t make much sense what she was talking about. But still, it was very nice to see her talk about her passion.

We played Janken afterwards and two lucky winners (one of them my friend Sai) got a present from Hikaru and got to go up on stage. While I can’t say I care much for the mangas they received as present, I would have killed to get a chance to go up on that stage. Oh well, turns out I suck at Janken. XD Somehow I completely forgot how to play it T_T

The Live

宝石-Houseki: WOW! Just wow! I didn’t know that this was the song Hikaru auditioned with. But hey, that explains why she was eventually chosen because man, she slayed! She sounded amazing! I think the song was slowed down a bit, yeah, it definitely was. Her performance was so powerful and tragic, she almost sounded like she was using elements from Keiko’s and Wakana’s voices. She had the same oomph as Keiko and yet there was a hint of tragedy (the same tragedy you usually get from Wakana). Flawless, absolutely flawless. Honestly, I am not even sure which version I like better, Hikaru’s or Keiko’s.

プラチナ-Platina: This is apparently one of her most frequently sung songs at karaoke. She absolutely loves it. It was an okay performance, I can’t say I like that song very much (it’s too cutesy for my taste) and I don’t think the song is particularly suited for Hikaru’s voice but Hikaru was super adorable and all smiles and she obviously had a blast with it so I was happy for her.

北ウイング-Kita Wing: Wow!! Just. Wow!! Hands down one of my favourite performances of that night. I had never heard that song before but Hikaru’s rendition was absolutely gorgeous. I just got to listen to the original version and OMG, they changed it SO MUCH. They slowed it down a lot and made it sound so much more tragic and sad. It left a lasting impression and I think I will have to buy it now. So beautiful.

CAT'S EYE: Sakurada wrote a special jazz arrangement for this song. I wish there was footage of this performance. Hikaru was so freaking sexy here. The way she moved to the lyrics, especially during that “sexy” line! Oh boy! Nosebleed!!! And it was a song I actually knew so YAY about that. If I remember correctly, I think it was actually one of the songs I voted for so double YAY.

ARIA: Finally, the song I had been waiting for. I obviously voted for this because it’s one of my all-time favourite Hikaru songs and I loved the 10th Anniversary version so freaking much (everyone else also voted for it so I kinda knew this would make it onto the setlist). This version was in a slightly higher pitch I think but not as high as the original version. She sang it with so much emotion, at this point I first started crying. Once again Hikaru mentioned that this song means the world to her and it has taught her so much. It’s always special if she gets to sing it and every version is different/unique. I was a bit sad because all the Wakana/Keiko/Kajiurago parts were left out. I had hoped she would sing that WaKei section after the bridge. It’s literally one of my favourite parts of the song because of the lyrics. But oh well, it was still a mind-blowing performance and Hikaru knocked it out of the park. She struggled a bit during the 10th Anniversary performance (especially during the final verse - although studio magic made sure it sounded well-rounded on the DVD/BD) but here she hit every note.

Blackbird: Hikaru mentioned that we would all recognise this song once we heard the chorus but meh, it seems I am the only one who has never heard of this song. Guess it’s because I have never really listened to the Beatles. Sorry to everyone who thinks that’s blasphemy or something. Either way, Hikaru made me really like this song although it will not become my favourite. Nothing about it was very memorable so I have a hard time remembering any details. I just know that Hikaru sounded really chill and cool. She obviously enjoys to sing this type of song.

Honesty: It’s honestly embarrassing how few songs I knew during this live. This was another one I had never heard before but boy, Hikaru made me fall in love with it immediately. I don’t know what it was about her performance but it was just so touching and emotional, it seemed like she meant every word she was singing. Everytime she sang “honesty” my heart broke a tiny little bit. The feels! Oh, the feels!!

Just the Way You Are: Can’t say I ever cared much for this song but once again Hikaru brought something special to it that made me appreciate how lovely this piece actually is. It really felt like she was singing from the heart. On that note, I would like to mention that her English pronunciation was really good during all the English songs. You most definitely understood what she was singing and she tried her best to emphasise each and every word. Very impressive. That’s certainly not a given with Japanese artists. Although I guess we all know that Hikaru’s English is very good. After this song, Hikaru told the Japanese audience that even though they probably didn’t understand the English lyrics, she hoped she was able to convey the meaning through her singing (she was!!). She invited everyone to check out all the lyrics because they are all super beautiful.

魂のルフラン- Tamashi No Rufuran: I was one of the people who voted for Zankokuna Tenshi no These so when she started to talk about Evangelion I freaked out a little. Unfortunately she ended up singing this song instead. I haven’t really watched the series so I only ever knew the OP and nothing else. Can’t say this song left a lasting impression. I don’t remember much from it. T_T Sorry, Hikaru. And sorry to everyone who had expected a more throrough report. I think she struggled a bit during the high parts here but it wasn’t too bad.

History Maker: I am embarrassed to say that I once again didn’t recognise the song. It sounded familiar but I couldn’t for the life of me remember where it was from. I was confused because I thought it was a Western song but Hikaru had mentioned she would sing anime songs now. I was like, “ehh???” Only afterwards when Hikaru mentioned it was from Yuri on Ice I suddenly remembered. [I am definitely the most clueless person when it comes to anime] This was most certainly the most upbeat and fun song of the night. Everyone was hyped and Hikaru was running around the stage, trying to connect with as many people in the audience as possible. And it worked. So much power, so much strength. Simply amazing. She really managed to capture the spirit of the song. Can’t say I watched the anime but I know it’s about sports and figthing spirit and boy, after this performance I was SO READY to climb Mount Fuji XD (which is good since I actually did climb Mt. Fuji the day after). Once she was finished Hikaru told us that actually no one had voted for her to sing this song but since it’s one of her faves she thought it would be okay to include it, this was “Hikaru’s vote” so to speak.

sprinter: Hands down my favourite performance of the night. The lights were dimmed and all you could hear was Hikaru’s voice which was already brimming over with emotion. The arrangement was super slow, she sang pretty much all the lines (including Wakana’s and Keiko’s). She didn’t sing the Kajiurago parts though. When she got to the “kimi ni aitai…” part, the hall became completely dark and there was just a tiny light illuminating Hikaru. Her voice was raw and fragile and very quiet. She wasn’t even singing them properly, it was more like she was saying them to us. It’s hard to explain but it was utterly heartbreaking. Tears everywhere. She only sang that part once and I think that’s for the best because this way it was incredibly powerful. And even though you could barely see her face you could definitely hear her voice break. She ended the song with Wakana’s line, “I'm calling your name”. By the end of the performance everyone was in tears and you could see Hikaru wiping away a tear too.

That was the end of the live, Hikaru took a bow and thanked everyone. When she told the audience to give a big round of applause to Sakurada he started playing the first tunes of “Happy Birthday”. It was a bit awkward at first because Japanese audiences never know what to do in situations like that. But they caught on surprisingly fast and so everyone was singing for Hikaru. That’s when Hikaru pretty much broke down into tears and watching this made me cry even more. She desperately tried to compose herself afterwards but nope, she couldn’t. Whenever she started to speak, a new wave of emotions seemed to hit her. She had to use a towel to wipe her tears away. She said that she didn’t expect Sakurada to play the birthday song for her (although I think that’s not true because he apparently played it during the afternoon event too but I forgive her for that little lie XD). Oh well, whether she was surprised or not she seemed to be moved either way and that is the only thing that counts. She thanked us for coming, thanked us for making this night incredibly special for her and finally assured us that she would forever remember this evening and treasure it within her heart…during the whole time tears were streaming down her face. She hopes that the next time we all meet there will be less tears and more laughter. She apologised for crying so much (oh please, Hi-chan, never apologise for that!!!!) Then she left the stage and the audience was asked to remain seated until told otherwise. The individual rows were asked to wait in line and leave the hall one by one.

That’s when we all got our personal greeting and postcard from Hikaru. She was standing outside wearing the white shirt from the merchandise and she handed each and every person a handwritten note and thanked them once again for coming. The staff people were rushing everyone out but fans were able to talk to Hikaru for a milli-second. When it was my turn I was shaking and I started crying again. Hikaru smiled at me and gave me one of her English cards (like seriously, she even prepared English cards for her foreign fans! So thoughtful of her!). I told her that I was incredibly moved by her performance (as if my crying wasn’t indication enough) and it looked like Hikaru was about to start crying too but then I was ushered outside so I can’t know for sure. I was shaking so much and then and it took a few minuted to compose myself.

All in all it was a super special event and I am so glad I got the chance to attend it. Hikaru is a born solo performer and she owned the stage throughout the entire event. She made me fall in love with her even more. You could really tell how much she cared about her fans. Right now I am very grateful that she is there for us and wants to be close to us. This event and all her blog posts make me so very happy, you have no idea. My only regret is that Hikaru didn’t mention Wakana and Keiko during the evening event. Why did she only talk about them during the afternoon event? So unfair! But oh well, it’s not like I missed much. She basically just told the audience that they are keeping in touch and that she had received birthday geetings from both of them (duh! Of course she did! Did anyone doubt it?) and that Wakana regularly sends pictures of her plant babies. They are all doing their own thing now so I understand and respect their choice (yes, I think it’s their choice and they are not forced by Space Craft) to lay low and not mention the others too much. However, it’s still nice when they do.

Okay, that’s a wrap. Hope you enjoyed this and if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask

#kalafina #report #hikaru #hikaru birthday event #long text post #sorry #I don’t know how to add a read more thingy on my phone

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raw-output · 5 years

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20 Years.

Two-thirds of a lifetime ago, a ten-year-old boy in a scratchy wool sweater sat huddled under an old down blanket. The first proper snow of the season had come the week before, and the boy hadn’t been dressed for building forts. Now here he was - bored, sick and sweaty. His mother entered the room with a mug of undrinkably hot milk with honey and butter. In her other hand was an issue of GAME.EXE, a computer gaming magazine. The words “HALF-LIFE” were plastered across the bottom of the cover. The boy loved reading, and loved computers, and the milk needed time to cool off anyway. He opened the magazine and flipped to page 8 after finding it in the table of contents. The boy grew older and switched languages, countries and continents, but his favorite game never changed.

It’s hard to compress two decades into text, but I will attempt to do so when it comes to my relationship with the Half-Life series that began all those years ago, with that preview article in that magazine.

The article was written in a second-person perspective that really stuck out to me, and was filled with screenshots that would later turn out to be of an unreleased rough beta version of the game. It ran through several dramatized, episodic descriptions of events in the game, then listed out the weapons used in the game, the enemies you would face and the tactics to deal with them. Finally, there was an interview with Marc Laidlaw himself. This single article was sufficient to make me completely insufferable to my parents for the next few months. “I want to play Half-Life,” I would say. At first, this meant asking to go to an Internet cafe a few blocks away from home, and for money to pay by the hour and use one of their beefy gaming PCs. Later on, it meant asking for a copy of the game, and for time on the “main” home computer - the only machine that could run the game at all, in glorious 320x240 resolution that gave me headaches.

A couple of years passed. The move to the US threw everything into a pleasant state of disarray, but the one thing that hadn’t changed was having to ask my parents to use the computer to play Half-Life. I had found one of my own soon after arriving in the States, but it had no sound card. It was there, on my mother’s computer, that I finally beat the game. My thirteenth birthday present was a copy of the newly released Opposing Force expansion. My birthday cake featured an edible photo of myself playing in a fountain in downtown Chicago, which my mother doodled over with brightly colored frosting. I was now knee-deep in toxic green sludge, a crowbar in one hand, and a proud Lambda logo on my chest.

Most kids in my 8th and 9th grade classes didn’t share my enthusiasm for Half-Life. They played console games and were rightfully hyped about the Playstation 2 and X-Box. In search of like-minded people, I took to the Internet. My options for getting online in 2001 were limited to libraries - either during lunch at school, or at the Naperville Public Library, which was a hour-long walk from home. I discovered Planet Half-Life, an offshoot of the Gamespy network. Through it, I discovered the fact that my favorite game was designed from the ground up to be moddable. I learned of Counter-Strike, Team Fortress Classic, and Sven Co-op. I discovered the Handy Vandal’s Almanac and The Snarkpit, two communities focused on level design. Having no reliable internet at home, I downloaded the level editor - then called Worldcraft - onto a floppy drive and brought it home to install. For the first time, I wasn’t simply playing the game. My parents looked on as I worked to figure out the obtuse user interface, trying to remember what I’d read earlier in the day. They raised their eyebrows when I finally managed to compile and run my first level - a hollow, unlit concrete box 512 units across with a single prefab trashcan hovering in the center. There wasn’t much more I could do in the limited time I was allowed to use the good computer, but I had caught the bug. My notebooks were filled with doodles of level layouts, my mind filled with cheesy storylines to match.

Eventually my family moved to a house with proper internet access, and I got a set of hardware with enough power under the hood to run both the game and the editor. It could even produce sound! All the things I could only read and salivate about were now within my reach, and I gorged myself on them. Counter-Strike quickly fell by the wayside, but Team Fortress and Sven Co-Op did not. Natural Selection came out and blew me away with how different a Half-Life mod could look and feel from the original game. I stayed up past midnight, playing, building, and playing some more. I learned that projects can die - when the extremely tongue-in-cheek Scientist Slaughterhouse mod went silent.

The release of the Half-Life 2 trailer took everybody by surprise. I had called one of my like-minded friends and we synch-watched it together, pausing every few minutes to let the video buffer and gush about how amazing everything looked and how much we were looking forward to messing with the modding toolkit. The subsequent beta leak and resulting delays taught me to be patient.

The move to California was not long after, and my patience was immediately put to the test as most of my belongings were stuck with the moving company, including my computer. I must have gone through a full pack of printer paper in less than a month, drawing up concepts and layouts for Xen Rebels, a mod centered around a semi-peaceful human colonization of the realm set after the events of Half-Life. Once my computer arrived, it was right back to the late nights and groggy mornings for me. Our home Internet was bad but workable, and I spent countless hours with the new and more creative mods that were being released, including The Specialists - a strong attempt to recreate the gun-fighting and martial arts stylings of Hong-Kong action movies in a multiplayer game. Around the same time I was introduced to the strange new world of anime, and decided that I simply must change the two throwable knives offered by The Specialists into kunai and throwing needles. This of course required me to learn 3D modelling. At the time, this was done with Milkshape 3D, a model editor compatible with most contemporary game formats. Once again, countless hours of figuring out the interface and the workflow followed, set to the calming tones of the Unreal, Deus Ex and Half-Life soundtracks. Creating models felt a lot more freeform than levels as I wasn’t constrained to a unit grid or forced to use convex geometry, and one day the new throwing weapons were in. I published the modified models on a forum to exactly zero fanfare. Around the same time, I began learning the basics of Photoshop in school, so modelling and texturing went hand in hand. To say my early textures were atrocious would be an affront to honest, hard-working atrocious textures the world over, but I continued my studies. My experience with working in 3D even netted me a 2nd place award at the school art contest - money which I immediately put back into upgrading my computer.

Half-Life 2 came out in November of 2004, to universal praise and celebration. I received the collector’s edition as a present for New Year, along with a copy of Raising The Bar. I beat the game the same morning, without a wink of sleep between unwrapping my present and the final darkness of the credits screen. The SDK didn’t ship with the game, but as soon as it was released I dove in. Soon after, the modding community blossomed, bigger and more vibrant than the original game’s, driven by the incredible flexibility of the engine. One of the first mods that appeared was made by a British man named Garry, and was called simply that, “Garry’s Mod”. It let players interact with the physics engine, and slowly sprouted more and more features. Many players used these features to pose character ragdolls, eventually creating entire comic series with storylines ranging from the comedic non-sequitur to dark and serious. Of course I felt the need to try my hand at it. That lead to the creation of The Plane - the story of Beet, a Combine Elite who managed to break free of his overseers’ indoctrination and find friendship, love, and revenge on his old masters. The only redeeming feature of that story was that it taught me how not to write stories.

I began getting more attached to the Gmod community than the expressly level design one at The Snarkpit. The few levels I publicly released were designed specifically as sandboxes to play and build in. The most popular ones were gm_orbit and rp_bahamut, maps set in space and featuring zero gravity for physical objects, allowing players to build smaller spaceships, or roleplay as the crew of a salvage and exploration vessel. Posting teaser images on the forums taught me a valuable lesson - what it felt like to be the one creating hype, instead of experiencing it. The constant demands were overwhelming. Some would simply want more work-in-progress screenshots. Others would drop ultimatums that unless a certain feature was designed a certain way, they would refuse to use the map. Others yet attempted to worm their way into getting the map early, offering to test it and provide feedback. I had almost deleted each project multiple times before finally releasing it.

Life happened, and things with Half-Life slowed down. When the Orange Box came out in 2006, I attempted to get it at a five-finger discount at a local Target. I got caught. Indirectly thought it was, Half-Life taught me that idiocy often leads to consequences. Buying it legitimately later in the year and playing through Episode Two reminded me that some stories aren’t written to end neatly.

It was in 2007 that I bought a membership for the Something Awful forums, and discovered an avid and very exclusive community of Gmod players. Over the course of the following decade, most of these people remained in constant contact with me, and will probably remain so for the foreseeable future. I became an admin once we opened our serves to the public - moderating the newcomers and mentoring the unskilled. One of the people had a project in mind, and I began creating models again. Miraculously, Milkshape 3D remained compatible with the Source engine, so I worked with it until I learned Maya. This project would eventually become known as Armored Combat Framework, and be released to the Gmod community at large. I learned how to iterate designs based on feedback, and how it felt to work in a well organized team.

Frontier happened around 2010, and was another lesson in teamwork - specifically what happens when things break down without role redundancy. Ambitions ran high, and the hype mounted. The programmer eventually left, and all that remains of the project is the very videos and images that were used to hype it in the first place, and a folder full of now-useless models, maps and textures. That was probably what prompted me to start pulling away from Half-Life and Gmod in general.

Black Mesa came out in 2012 and breathed a new life into my old obsession. I played through the original Half-Life again, then through the remake, noting the differences and the tweaks to make the gameplay more palatable to modern-day players. It felt good, like putting on an old but comfortable jacket. I’d fire up the SDK now and then, mostly to help newer, more driven designers. Two of the guys from Team Frontier went on to work in the industry full-time. There were whispers of a new game in the works, minor leaks of file and folder names hidden away in Valve projects. Episode 3 turned into Half-Life 3. A full sequel, rather than another short episode, as originally planned. “HL3 Confirmed” became a meme, but the people at the top remained silent.

Life kept happening, as it does. I lost people, I found people. I left home. Every now and then I’d fire up HL or BM again, or drop by the old Gmod server. I’d build things and model things, and release none of it to the public. I watched as the Dota International became the most widely spectated event in gaming, making players, sponsors, and Valve millions. The realization slowly started settling in. Then Marc Laidlaw retired, and later posted the Epistle. The workers at Valve spoke of a lack of direction and stagnation that comes with a cornered market. Modding for an engine over a decade old, no matter how advanced, slowed down.

It’s a different world now. Unity and Unreal engines rule the scene. Survival and Battle Royale have become the new buzzwords. Microtransactions. Loot boxes. Streaming integration. Freemium. E-Sports. Mobile gaming. Virtual Reality. If a new Half-Life were to appear today, would it be changed by the zeitgeist, or would it stay the course set by its predecessors? I don’t know. But there’s one thing that the escapades of a mute, bespectacled research associate have taught me more than anything else: hope.

#half-life #anniversary #20 years #textwall #nostalgia

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one-of-us-blog · 6 years

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Rose: Portrait of a Woman (TGG, Season 7, Episode 22)

Today Eli is forced to watch and recap Rose: Portrait of a Woman, Episode 22 of the final season of The Golden Girls. Rose is convinced to take a walk on the sensual side, while Dorothy is presented with an exciting new career opportunity in the video game industry. Will this broadening of horizons help them take their lives to the next level? Keep reading to find out…

It has been far too long since I posted my last recap, especially when I’m so close to the end of the series, so I have to apologize for the delay! I have found myself pretty strapped for spare time over the last couple of months, but I still want to see this project through to the end, and I’ll do my best to get back on track and finish strong. With that being said, since it’s not yet Drew’s turn for another Bond recap, I hope this humble offering of mine is satisfactory! Let’s head back to Miami!

Buttocks tight!

Episode written by Robert Spina, directed by Lex Passaris

Rose is putting the finishing touches on a birthday present for Miles. She clearly bought him a golf club, but Blanche suggests something a bit more unexpected: an enticing boudoir photo to get his motor running. Rose has her doubts about this plan, and Dorothy thinks that cash would be preferable, but they all mock Blanche for her own photographic history. Dorothy offers to take Rose shopping for another present after she speaks for career day, and we learn that Miles will be speaking as well (so there’s an excuse for the whole squad to be present at the event). Rose remembers the importance of St. Olaf’s career day, and also that sheep are mean drunks. Dorothy doesn’t feel qualified to tell anyone what to do with their lives, as she doesn’t find teaching to be fulfilling anymore and keeps getting stuck with driver’s ed classes.

At career day, Dorothy speaks to some students about the joys of teaching, and gets a “Joe Mama” joke from a disrespectful young whippersnapper for her troubles. Blanche is still pushing the boudoir photo on Rose while they watch Miles speak to a student, and Blanche dubs in her own sexually-charged dialogue to get her friend worked up. Together, they head off to get that sexy photo. Sophia joins in on the mockery of her daughter, but eventually Dorothy is approached by an old student. Randy Beeker, “Mr. Ditch” himself, who went on to make millions in the video game industry (hey, I want to hear more about that!) reveals that he was ready to bail on school altogether until they brought in “Attila the Sub.” Dorothy inspired him, and he thinks she can now do the same thing for his sales force. Dorothy is convinced she’s about to be hit with another “Joe Mama” joke, but it’s actually a killer job offer.

In the next scene, Blanche is still saying that she’ll take Rose for her dirty picture, so that must not have happened yet, and Dorothy is all dressed up for her first day in the business world. She tells Sophia that she is going to give her a raise in her allowance, and this gets her a hug and a packed lunch in return. Rose has her nightgown all ready for the photographer, and the long flannel number leaves basically everything to the imagination. Blanche says that she’ll help with a costume, so perhaps we’ll be seeing Nurse Rose in action soon.

Dorothy enters a meeting room and begins telling Randy’s employees to strap in for a life-changing experience. Aside from one well-prepared suck up, she mainly gets groans from those gathered. I mean, she’s not really gonna teach them, right? They’re only there because they’re required to be, and they really just want their name checked off on a list. That’s how these training days are supposed to go! I can’t say I disagree. Dorothy checks their names off, and much to her disappointment, they actually walk out…except for the suck up, that is.

Blanche and Rose are looking over Rose’s pictures, and they think they turned out pretty well. Miles will be shocked, and this should definitely mix up their routine of making love with the lights off, when they aren’t in the midst of kaiju-themed sexual escapades. Dorothy is back home after her disappointing day, and believes she’ll have to quit. But Sophia brings home her friend Lillian to brag about Dorothy’s new career, despite the fact that she had never mentioned her before now.

At Miles’ place, he has enjoyed his birthday dinner and it’s time for his gift. He has Rose’s wrapped present in hand when a bunch of colleagues show up with more presents, and despite her frantic warnings he opens her picture in front of all of them. Rose is mortified, and flees.

Back at work again, Dorothy gives an impassioned plea to the men she’s supposed to be teaching, and insists that this should be a time to learn. They applaud, and then immediately depart, leaving only a “Joe Mama” joke in their wake. Randy shows up and ensures Dorothy that he isn’t disappointed in her, and that this job is his way of saying thanks for changing his life. However, Dorothy has decided to return to high school and pursue her true calling. Randy says to let him know if he can ever do anything for her, and Dorothy takes the opportunity to pitch a video game about various ways to murder an old, white-haired mother. I have to believe that some indie developer is working to make this dream come true.

Blanche attempts to console Rose for her embarrassment by telling her that she slept with the photographer. Thanks Blanche, that helps. Miles shows up, and Rose tells him that she feels like an old fool. He comforts her by telling her the picture is beautiful, and so is she, and thankfully this is all she needed to hear. Meanwhile, Sophia has a giant television that Dorothy tells her will have to be returned now that her cushy job is over, but it’s okay; Sophia somehow has the negatives from Rose’s photo shoot that she can use to make some extra cash.

During the end credits, we see Sophia in the midst of her very own boudoir photo shoot.

The End.

This was an entertaining enough episode, even if it isn’t among the best the show has had to offer. Both of the plots received a decent amount of attention, but I was obviously biased toward the video game-themed storyline. I only wish that Dorothy had seen the inner workings of Randy’s company! I want to know what hot early-90s titles they were working on! I don’t have a lot of specific thoughts, but I kind of hope the show can pull off something a bit more special than this in its closing episodes. I am encouraged to know that there are a couple of two-parters waiting to seal the deal. Overall, I would give Rose: Portrait of a Woman a rating of 3 poofy hairdos out of 5.

Check back in soon for Drew’s take on For Your Eyes Only, the next James Bond cinematic adventure, and then I’ll return to cover Home Again, Rose, the next entry in the Golden Girls canon. Until then, as always, thank you for being a friend, and for being One of Us!

#golden girls #the golden girls #one of us

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daengerous-af · 6 years

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[171219] Delight 2 Release Events in Fukuoka - Fan Accounts

**full credit to mshinju for all fan accounts unless otherwise stated**

Release Event #1

In the 1st event (13:00) he replies to a number of questions from the fans that haven't made it into his D'na SHOW talk parts. He replied to about 8 questions in the first event in Fukuoka, all without any script.

Q1: What do you feel like eating whenever you visit Fukuoka?

MC: I think I actually know the answer.

DS: What do you think it is?

MC: Motsunabe.

DS: Uuuh, correct!!

MC: You love motsunabe, right?

DS: I do. There's a place where I always go eat it when I come to Fukuoka.

MC: So you went this time too?

DS: I did. Yesterday.

MC: So fast!

Fans: Where where??

DS: I won't tell you.

Fans: Wheeere??

DS: (mean laugh) you guys.

Fans: Where where?

DS: "where, where?" There, there~ well I think those who know, know already.

DS: Look, there is one who seems to know. (to the fan who kept asking "where?") please ask her later. Row two, left side, wearing black. Please ask her after the show, she knows the place. (the fan in row 2 nodded confidently) 🤣🤣

Q2: What time in your life do you think you are/will be the most popular (with the fans/ladies)? [alternative fan account here]

Fans: Now!!

DS: (laughs) (suddenly dramatically serious) Not now! Tomorrow! (strikes a pose) [Right after he got so embarrassed that he hid laughing behind his chair 🤣]

MC: I see. If it was today, that would mean it's over tomorrow.

DS: (after coming back from behind his chair) Exactly. So I always work hard thinking that tomorrow will be my peak!

Audience: Oooh!! 👏👏

Q3: What do you always keep in your fridge?

DS: As a Korean I always keep kimchee. And... what else, hmm...

MC: Water I guess?

DS: Of course. Hmm... but there isn't much. I don't usually cook.

MC: Right. And you can't store anything since you're traveling a lot for work.

DS: I often order from delivery services, so... I store the left overs in the fridge. But in the end they end up being thrown away by the older lady that keeps my apartment clean. I ask her to clean out my fridge when I'm not there. It's like my garbage bin 🤣

MC: Wow, she cleans out your fridge, nice!

DS: Since I don't keep any utensils/ingredients... yes, I tell her she can just throw it all away.

MC: So only kimchee then, since you can keep it for a long time. No alcohol?

DS: I keep wine. I have a wine fridge.

MC: A wine cellar.

DS: (laugh) your voice turned low so suddenly, "wine cellar~"

MC: So you pile bottles 1, 2, 3, 4... (gestures) ..oh, not that high?

DS: Not that high. About this (indicates about knee height)

MC: So about 10 bottles?

DS: It fits 32 bottles.

MC: And how many bottles do you keep currently?

DS: I don't actually drink a lot but I like buying wine, so I usually have many bottles. I don't drink any alcohol a few days before using my voice (to sing)

DS: But when I buy wine, I like the feeling of knowing that I will be able to drink it any time. Something to look forward to. They also make good presents.

MC: (imitates situation) What do I bring today? 2010.. this one should be good..

DS: No. Rather (imitates) hmm how much was this one? Ah, not expensive. Ok, this will do (laugh)

MC: Deciding by price (laugh) Which do you prefer? White or red?

DS: I like red wine. (they started fooling around, pretending to chill on a sofa & drink wine)

Q4: What was the most recent thing that made you burst of laughter?

DS: Burst of laughter... (he thought for a while) oh! I remember! When I saw pictures of Seungri at his birthday party in the Philippines, shirtless. He looked like a panda.

DS: He's called panda from the start because of his eye bags. So... the pictures made me think "Oh, so he really became a panda". But he's working out really hard these days. MC: He's an artist after all.

DS: Of course.

DS: He's been working hard on his ramen business, doing all sorts of research himself. Maybe that's why...

MC: Oh! I finally went to Aori the other day!

DS: The one in Tokyo? How was it?

MC: Amazing, so many people!

DS: It's good, right?

MC: Really good.

Q5: Is there anything you want to master/overcome?

DS: Overcome... I have overcome a lot of issues up till now. Those who have been my fans for a long time will probably know it well. There's been a lot of problems, and things I'm still trying to master even now.

MC: Even now?

DS: I want to be able to continue singing for as long as possible, so I'm taking good care of my throat. The way I have used my voice in the past was not right, so a couple of years ago - I think maybe 4 years, I had a lot of issues with my voice.

DS: So that's when I went back to the beginning and started from zero. And I'm still in the process of mastering it.

MC: I see...

DS: I'm sure there will be a lot of issues to overcome in the future, too.

MC: Look at this positive attitude! Amazing. I think you, his fans know this the best. He's such a sincere guy. Constantly mastering issues. I myself am daily trying to overcome my wife. Just yesterday. "Fukuoka tomorrow, again?" - "You see, Daesung's event..." If it's for Daesung, never objects.

Q6: What is the scariest dream you have ever had?

DS: I don't dream a lot. I sleep very well.

MC: So you don't wake up from dreams a lot?

DS: I don't. Ah, but... it's not scary, but during elementary school, I had many dreams where I was conscious that I was dreaming. It was so much fun! I used to jump from huge buildings, or jump very high. Also at times, my dream from the night before would continue the night after. I loved going to sleep during those days. I still remember those dreams well.

MC: So when you grew up, you stopped dreaming. You're so busy after all.

DS: I just sleep very well. I fall asleep right away.

MC: Even when it's noisy?

DS: Doesn't affect me at all. Even when I think I won't be able to sleep, before I realize it I passed out.

DS: Oh, and also...! Ah, never mind.

Fans: What is it??

DS: No, it's ok.

Fans: Tell us!!

DS: You really want to hear (so much talk about dreams)?

MC: Please continue!

DS: Well, before I became a trainee, in middle school I used to take lessons at an academy. After we (students) finished our lessons, we used to fall asleep in the classroom, all tired out. We used to fall asleep with music playing in the background. So in my dreams, the singer of that song would appear!

MC: Performing?

DS: Yes! No matter how intense the dream was, suddenly the side corner turns into a bar and there is the singer, performing live. So impressive. It happened to me once, so the next time I tried playing a song of a singer I wanted to see in my dreams. Like Beyoncé. But...

MC: She didn't appear?

DS: She didn't.

MC: So it happened only once. So the singer who appeared was..

DS: Gummy, it was Gummy-san.

MC: Gummy-san!! Yeah, she would fit into a bar setting.

DS: Right?

MC: You don't happen to remember the song?

DS: It was Ani, a Korean song.

MC: Wow. Such an interesting topic.

Q7: Name an item you have liked & kept using for a long time.

DS: I... don't really like change. That goes for my phone as well. As long as I can still use it, I won't exchange it for a new one.

MC: Your wallet too, for example?

DS: Yes. As long as I don't lose it...

MC: If you don't lose it! Do you lose your wallet often then?

DS: Not really! Last year? Or 2 years ago, I lost my wallet in the airport. But bet it was stolen! You know the sky shop at the airport? I paid something and put my wallet on the side of the counter. I remember clearly putting it there. And right after leaving the airport and entering the car, I noticed that it's gone. So it would definitely be early enough to still get it back, but when we called the shop, they said it's nowhere to be found.

MC: Quite possible that someone took it then.

DS: Right. So that made me realize that in the end, you can trust nobody but yourself. (audience laughs)

DS: And that I need to be more careful.

MC: So as long as that doesn't happen, you keep using it a long time.

DS: Yes.

MC: How about your bag? Do you use one?

DS: I do. Actually there was one I used for a long time, not my current one but before. I kept using it for 3 or 4 years, but then the zipper broke. So I went to the store (where I bought it) to get it fixed.

MC: A world star who goes to the store to gets the zipper of his bag fixed!! Wow.

DS: I have used it for so long, and it's the inside that counts right? I felt bad just asking them to fix it, so I bought a new bag to make up for it. I asked them while paying. And the staff told me "this model is so old! You're still using it?"

MC: Wow. So the bag that you get fixed is at home?

DS: Yes, I keep it at home.

MC: I see... who wouldn't want a husband like that?

Fans: I do!!!

MC: Please keep on dreaming.

Fans: (laugh)

Q8: How do you spend your time while on the move (flights etc)?

MC: Perfect topic for your wallet story.

DS: (laugh) right! Well... in general I don't eat the in-flight meal.

MC: No way!

DS: It's too salty. And I guess I just got tired of it.

DS: During our world tour I realized something funny. No matter where you go in the world, for some reason the food on the plane tastes always the same. No matter which airline. The same goes for hotels. Similar seasoning. I don't like room service either. So usually... I just sit and sleep.

MC: But on your world tour - I mean a flight to Japan is only about 2 hours, so it's alright. But on a 10h flight, isn't it a bit tough not to eat anything?

DS: Ah, on long flights I eat it!

MC: But you're right, in-flight meals are a bit salty, to preserve the food.

DS: Yes, and up high in the air, your taste buds are less sensitive, I heard. That's why the food is higher in calories and the flavor is much stronger.

MC: Huh~ An in-flight meal pro. But I'm surprised still (that you don't eat it) I mean, first and business class food is quite good after all.

DS: Oh, but I do drink wine sometimes.

MC: (laugh) Makes you sleep well too!

DS: Right, some wine and then (snores)

Q9: What is BIGBANG to you?

DS: Right... hm... I have said this in the past, but... BIGBANG is like a puzzle.

MC: A puzzle! (dramatic voice) five pieces form a perfect picture. If only one piece is missing, it won't be complete. Five pieces as one - BIGBANG!

DS: 🤣🤣👏👏

DS: I want to record this! I can use it at interviews, just like that!

MC: (laugh)

DS: So yes, that's one of the meanings behind it. The other is - every piece is different, right? The five of us all have a very different character. We don't overlap. In terms of music, we all like hip-hop, but apart from that we all like very different genres. And the things we like are different too. I for example am not interested in paintings at all. But since our interests don't overlap, we don't argue about them. We just accept those differences. There's something I'm envious of though. When TOP for example drinks just a slight bit of alcohol, he will just keep staring at a painting for forever. (imitates his moved face) I'd watch him from the side wondering "what the hell is he even thinking about?" (laugh) He gets so inspired that he's about to cry, almost. Since we're artists, it's good to receive inspiration from many different things. So it's a good thing. It makes me a bit envious that he has that, and it's a pity that I don't. But I suppose not having it gives me the kind of power of expression that I have, so both ways are good.

MC: Different personalities.

DS: Yes. We accept all our differences.

Release Event #2

Event 2 was a review of the D’NA SHOWs in Kyushu. A few short videos were shown on the screen and the MC Furuya-san asked Daesung a few questions in between. Fans got an insight into background stories related to the shows as well.

Video 1: D’NA SHOW in Nagasaki; Daesung has his dramatic entrance for DiraDiraD game (with the cape). The point of the cape is, once he puts it on he turns into an evil character whose single goal is to win against the fans in the game. Once the cape comes off, he turns into tame, friendly Daesung again who'd always let the fans win (which would be boring). While Daesung fools around on stage the cape suddenly comes off. Daesung grabs the cape and runs off stage, under the laughter of the fans.

DS: I’m in shock.

MC: In shock..?

DS: You see.. every time I entered the stage for the game, I was trying to make my eyes look as big as I can. I opened them so wide that it was almost painful. But watching the video just now… not big at all.

Fans: (laugh)

MC: Were you surprised when the cape came off?

DS: I was. The cape is quite long, so I stepped on it and it came off. I lost my confidence (bashful) and wanted to run away.

MC: Your D’NA SHOW Tour had 39 events. Did the cape come off only this once?

Fans: mumble “several times…”

DS: …(laugh)

MC: There were more times?? Many times? I see.

DS: (defensive) It’s really long! You just step on it! So… yeah.

MC: Not just in Nagasaki.

DS: The one thing I concentrate on is making my eyes big, so I don’t bother with anything else, but… yeah. Just normal sized.

MC: I went to see your very first show in Maihama and the one two months later in Nakano. I didn’t watch any show in between so I was overwhelmed seeing this persona (cape Daesung)

DS: (laugh)

MC: When did this persona start?

DS: I wonder…?

Fans: Oita!!

DS: Oh! Yes Oita! I knew!

DS: In Oita the staff started playing the background music, that’s when the persona got established. I actually had no idea that they prepared music… (laugh)

MC: Wow! So this persona was born in Kyushu.

DS: You’re right! It’s all thanks to you (bows to audience)

DS: Your (fans) memory is really amazing.

MC: …I think I just heard someone say “it’s just that yours is bad”

DS: (laugh)

MC: You held 39 events within 3 months. (To fans) in that amount of time, the Japanese skills of this man here have advanced so quickly, I’m truly amazed!

Fans: (loud applause)

DS: (gets really shy) (applause gets even louder)

MC: You see, V.I’s Japanese for example

DS: He’s really good right.

MC: His Japanese is really good. But if you pay close attention, V.I-san communicates mainly with vocabulary.

DS: (laugh) what do you mean?

MC: When you listen to V.I-san’s stage talk, he animates the audience mainly with single words. Like “nande yanen” (popular Kansai dialect that just means “what the heck”)

DS: Ah… with Kansai dialect?

MC: Yes. But you D-LITE-san, capture the audience with your talk (= content)

Fans: (loud applause and cheering)

DS: (gets really shy again) No no… you see, it’s thanks to V.I. If it hadn’t been for him who already walked down that path, I might have taken the same approach. “nande yanen!!” “chau!!” It’s all thanks to V.I. Please applaud him! (claps)

MC: In any case, it’s not just that your Japanese is good, but you are a really good talker. Your talk goes straight into the heart.

Fans: (cheer and clap loudly)

DS: Ahhh so embarrassed!

Fans: (laugh)

DS: There was no script for these shows. The only thing in my cue cards were the questions that were shown on the screens, since I can’t read kanji I had them written down in Hangul. That was the only script. So the answers were all free… but the fans taught me so much. I learned many new words, like HanaKin (“flower Friday”)…that’s all I can remember right now…

Fans: 🤣

DS: Through 39 events I got comfortable talking freely in Japanese. I enjoyed being able to look my fans in the eyes while talking. It was really fun thanks to all of you!

MC: Sorry to change the topic so suddenly but... can I mention something?

DS: Of course. What is it?

MC: There was this moment that I was watching totally on edge… this weird yet funny moment on the first day in Maihama

DS & Fans: (start laughing knowing what comes next)

MC: (laugh) That moment when you invited the fans on stage in Nalbwa Gwisun. What I found so funny was that, despite you being the performer, you were completely cornered by the crowd of fans.I mean, you were standing on the edge of the stage like this (steps to the edge of the stage with only his heels remaining on the ground) I just can’t forget this sight!

DS: Right (laugh) now that it’s in the past we can laugh about it as a funny episode.

MC: But in that very moment..!

DS: It was really something (laugh) I had the idea for this part really in the last moment, during the rehearsal. We thought even if anyone would be brave enough to come up to the stage it would be at most maybe 10, 15 people. So I told the dancers, "the fans will be shy and probably won’t come up, so please encourage those in the front rows to join us on stage"

Fans: (laugh)

DS: But once the song started playing in the event, I felt it. “This is bad” (laugh). Just seeing the expression on their faces being anxious for the moment to come to rush to the stage… (laugh) I don’t think I have ever felt so uneasy. I was really standing on the stage like this (goes to the very edge) right? I really wanted to turn to look at my fans and interact, while asking them to please go back to their seats slowly, but… if I turn back and face them, it will only get worse, right? So I kept facing the front without looking at them. That way the situation would be safer.

MC: It was really amazing.

DS: Really, it was… that’s just how the world is (laugh) as an experience, it was good!

MC: So with every event, your MC skills increased and you kept growing, developing this new persona in Oita, losing your cape in Nagasaki. Lots of happenings. I heard some inside stories. In Kyushu you moved around by train. Some places are connected to shinkansen, but some are only connected to the local train network.

DS: Yes. It was really fun!

Fans: 🤣

DS: The staff reserved the front row seat for me even in the local trains. You know, with the driver's compartment right in front. The glass wall that divides the driver’s compartment from the front seats was so fascinating! (to the staff at the side of the stage) do you remember? (to the fans) the glass was so interesting, I kept looking at it!

MC: The driver’s compartment glass wall?

DS: Exactly! One moment it’s transparent, and the next it’s suddenly opaque. Really, in one instance! When was this developed? I was really amazed.

MC: So they changed the level of transparency in between?

DS: Yes! When the train was moving, you could always see the front through the glass. Then when it stopped at a station and the conductor started doing several tasks, it would suddenly turn opaque. So amazing.

MC: (laugh) fascinating glass technology!

DS: Yes! And… (laugh) it’s kind of embarrassing. I tried to film it but I never found the right timing (laugh) so in the end I didn’t manage to get a video.

MC: I was told that after your show in Nagasaki, you went to an Onsen.

DS: Right, Nagasaki was right in the middle of the tour, so we spent one night at an Onsen as a sort of halftime celebration.

MC: I picture it like this: Being a large group, you occupy a large tatami room-

DS: Yes, it was exactly like that.

MC: Really?! Like a Japanese dinner party?

DS: Just like that. The whole day.

MC: I see!

DS: I have videos of that day.

Fans: Eeeehhh~!! We wanna see!!

DS: I’m not gonna show you 😗

Fans: Hehh… 😕

DS: Please use your imagination!

Fans: (laugh)

MC: Totally fits the image of Delight 2!

DS: (laughs)

MC: A Japanese dinner party.

DS: Right. We ate lots of good food and then started the 2nd half of the tour.

MC: Your schedule is always so busy. Did you ever have the chance to stay at an onsen to have a dinner party before?

DS: It was my first time to have a dinner party at an onsen.

MC: First time! Despite having been active in Japan for a long time already.

DS: Yes. There aren’t many opportunities to go to an onsen in a group.

DS: Oh, but for this tour we had some band member exchanges due to the schedule, so even though I wanted to invite everyone, it wasn’t possible to gather everyone.

MC: (to the fans) so nice, going to an onsen together!

Fans: … 😒😑

MC: But you’ll be going to Hawaii together! ☺

DS: Right, Hawaii… uh… there’s no onsens in Hawaii though?

MC: You’re right. There probably isn’t.

DS: The beaches are beautiful though.

MC: D’na SHOW in Hawaii! So nice, must be so much fun… (longing face)

DS: (laugh)

MC: Do you have any special ideas for Hawaii already?

DS: Ah, we’re planning right now. It might be a bit embarrassing to continue with the Dira Dira D game in Hawaii… so I’m wondering what to do. Either try a new game that everyone can participate in, or keep Dira Dira D. I could turn it into Hawa-Hawa-ii.

Fans: (laugh)

MC: According to the staff, the audience in Kagoshima was really hyped.

DS: Right! Kagoshima was the first time that the fans started clapping to the music before the show started. Wasn’t it? (unsure)

Fans: (start discussing with seat neighbors if it was Kagoshima or Kanazawa)

DS: Hm, maybe it was Kanazawa.

MC: (laugh)

DS: Both start with the same syllable.

MC: The staff is saying that it was Kagoshima.

DS: They (gestures to some in the audience) insist it was Kanazawa.

MC: The staff seems sure. (to audience) Could you kindly not complain?

Fans: 🤣

DS: But I remember it clearly, Kagoshima. I was really amazed when I heard the clapping while waiting on the side of the stage. The fans’ reaction was really loud and good during the show as well. I also mentioned it on stage that day. I was really happy. I didn’t have a clear image of what Kagoshima is like until then, but my image now is this: the great reaction from the audience and great food. It’s a really nice place.

MC: So at every city in Kyushu there was a first time for something.

DS: That’s true. A special place.

MC: So the events in Fukuoka were on August 16 and 17. It was at the very beginning of the tour, right? Right after the very first two shows in Chiba Amphitheater.

DS: Yes.

MC: So how were the shows in Fukuoka? Fun?

DS: I remember the fans were really energetic. And also… Dira Dira D was a trial on the 2nd day in Chiba. So the first show in Fukuoka was the second time to do it. We had an alternative prepared in case it didn’t go well, but from Fukuoka onward, the whole structure of the show became very fluent.

MC: It seems Kyushu was a really important area for D’na SHOW.

DS: The staff also told me that the Kyushu part of the tour in particular was a lot of fun.

Fans: (clap)

MC: That’s nice. It means there are good memories associated with Kyushu. So this time was D’na SHOW Volume 1. We talked a bit about Volume 2 in the first event earlier today. Let’s suppose there is to be a Volume 2. What kind of things do you want to do? If you tell me now, I will prepare it for you!

Fans: (laugh)

DS: Well… it’s not decided at all yet (laugh) but… uh… hmmmmm… if there was to be a Vol.2, I'd keep the Talk & Live concept and change a few elements. Vol.1 was my first time to hold events of this structure. I made the setlist to fit a dinner show concept, so all songs were up tempo. Maybe the next time I could choose a wider variety, include ballads maybe. Uhh… (glances at the audience) I’ve been hearing a lot of opinions.

Fans: (laugh)

DS: I’m collecting a lot of ideas and will consider them for Volume 2.

MC: Well, we’ll be waiting. We count on you.

Fans: (applause)

DS: I’ll be back any time. As long as you call for me…

Fans: WE WILL

MC: You did the whole show on your own. Frankly - was it tough? 39 events, being both the MC and the performer. Being teased by the band members.

Fans: (laugh)

MC: At least physically it must have been exhausting.

DS: Hmm… physically yes, it was tough. But well, rather than it being tough, I paid a lot of attention to my health and fitness. I’ve mentioned this before: When one event ends, there’s another event on the next day, so even when I didn’t feel sleepy at all, I went to bed and forced myself to rest. I went to bed around 10pm.

MC: That’s early!

DS: It is. I use my voice a lot in the talking part, and then after that there’s the singing part. This tour made me grow a lot, it made me consider my physical abilities objectively so I was able to control my fitness well.

MC: And your MC abilities have grown so much, I’m sure you’ll receive a lot of offers for MC roles.

DS: The MC part was really fun. I didn’t feel a lot of pressure, to be honest. I think that’s why I could talk freely and make it a lot of fun. No pressure at all. That’s why at times I got really lost during the talk part (laugh) because no script is prepared whatsoever. It felt very exciting. When I got lost, I could just ask questions into the audience, and I got so many fun responses. Really, the fans played such an important role in this tour particularly!

MC: It was like catching balls back and forth between you and the audience.

DS: It was. I was almost surprised how funny/original they were.

DS: (to fans) Ah, it’s so nice being able to talk with you in a relaxed atmosphere. Chances have become rare to perform in venues where I can clearly hear what you say. In a dome, I am able to hear your voices, but I can’t really make out your words. I pretend that I can of course.

Fans: (laugh)

DS: But it’s really nice that I can hear you clearly in this venue. I like that. It can be disadvantage too sometimes though (joking) (laugh) What day is today?

Fans: 19th!!

DS: The 19th. So the release is tomorrow.

*Fan in front row shows him the DVD version of his album in her hands.*

DS: Eh??

Fan: I already received it!!

DS: Oooh… even I haven’t gotten it yet.

Fan: I can give it to you!

DS: Oh? For real?

Fan next to her: Just give it to him, it’s ok!

DS: Wait wait. Why do you tell her it’s okay? Did you buy it for her? No? So it’s not yours. Why then do you tell her to give it to me? Hmm so you two are close. (laughs) Alright! So tomorrow is the release date. Delight 2… it includes a lot of different songs. There’s a special track called 아파 (It Hurts). This song… I think most of you won’t know this, but the track is the guide track that was recorded with my voice before the song became 2NE1’s song. So it’s recorded with the voice of my 20 year old self. I think songs are fate. The song fit 2NE1’s voices better so it became their song. But in the beginning when the song was composed, we first recorded a male version and then 2NE1’s, which became the official version. When I listen to the song today, I think my voice at 20 years old was really pure.

Fans: (laugh)

DS: It’s a bit tainted now.

Fans: Eeehh!!

DS: (laugh) So yeah, this special track is included on the album. Please enjoy the end of your year with Delight 2. Alright! I’d like to sing "A・ze・cho!!" now.

Fans: (seem unsure whether to stand up or wait)

DS: Please, feel free to stand up if you want to, or remain seated if you want to. You want to stand up? I want to sit. What do we do?

Fans: Stand!!

DS: Alright, just do whatever you feel like!

Fans: (laugh)

DS: Let’s go, A・ze・cho!!

(Daesung sings A・ze・cho!! and “Soba ni ite yo”)

*MC Furuya-san joins Daesung on stage again*

MC: This song (soba ni ite yo) really makes you feel a lot of things.

DS: Right. It feels more like I am talking rather than singing in this song.

MC: Yes. My chest feels so tight somehow. But the VIP JAPAN in Kyushu will wait for you, and Motsu Nabe (famous dish in Fukuoka that Daesung likes) waits for you as well. So please come back soon.

DS: Yes, any time.

Fans: We’ll wait for you!!

MC: You’ll wait, right?

Fans: (cheer)

MC: I’ll wait too.

DS: Yes. So… what to do? With all of you waiting. I’ll come back soon!! (laugh) But honestly, thanks to your support this year was full of happiness for me. I think you feel the same - I have made so many memories this year.

DS: Just as I've been saying this on stage in BIGBANG’s concerts: I've prepared a lot of things for you to make sure you won’t feel lonely even when the blank period starts next year. So even when I go, really… I might have prepared too much, actually.

Fans: (laugh)

DS: So when I come back, you’ll probably be surprised “Eh?! We weren’t waiting at all?!” (laugh) I’m preparing a lot, so… please look forward to BIGBANG’s and also to my solo activities once we’re be back!!

(event ends with lots of finger hearts and “kuho suki” from Daesung)

Release Event #3

In the 3rd event (19:00) Daesung talks about his past solo activities. In Fukuoka, he talked about his memories of the beginning period of his solo activities, specifically D'scover time. Working on the album, his first solo tour, and a few specific episodes.

**to be updated**

misc fan accounts:

Daesung said that he's been working to prepare so many things for us to look forward to while he is gone (serving in the military) that we'll be surprised when he's back (because it will have felt so short). So curious what he's been preparing for us! (© mshinju)

Daesung said that the version of It Hurts included in 'Diraito 2' is the guide track recorded by him when he was 20 years old (so it's his voice from 9 years ago!), before it became a 2NE1 song cause a female voice fit the song better. (© susifg)

Daesung said that he doesn't care much abt art or business, and explained how sometimes, especially after drinking a bit, TOP can just stare endlessly at a painting on the wall in total amazement while Daesung would think to himself "What the hell is he thinking right now?!" 😂 (© susifg)

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wonderwonderhowido · 6 years

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Year-end meme time! I have been answering these questions once a year without fail since 2006. Maybe one of these years I’ll stop, but not for 2017.

Was 2017 a good year for you?

Yes! In February I decided I wanted to quit my job and go to Brazil for 3 months. I quit my job and moved away from NC in July, left for Brazil in August. I had a short-lived but intense romantic relationship from April-July. We drove across the country together. Brazil was really challenging but overall amazing. With the exception of a couple periods when life was too hectic, I kept up with my yoga habit. I think I made it a full 8 months without skipping a whole week actually? Maybe it was 6 months, I forget now, I just know that it was an important milestone for me at the time because I have never managed to keep up an exercise routine that long before. I spent more time at the ocean and by the pool than I have in most other years of my life. I lost some weight. I stayed relatively on top of my shit (bullet journaling really helped, when I was doing that), and stayed sane. I read a fuck ton of Harry/Draco and BTS fic. I took a lot of chances with people I had only just barely met. It has honestly been a pretty stellar year for me personally, the mounting sense of despair over the external world aside.

What was your favorite moment of the year?

Being in the ocean with kids climbing on top of me, demanding to be tossed into the waves.

What was your least favorite moment of the year?

Nothing actually stands out. I had some pretty low moments of crying over certain things in my life, but nothing I can talk about on the online, and besides since none of them were reacting to specific things they all sort of blend together in my memory anyway. I did cry whole buckets while leaving my goodbye party in NC and continued to cry when I got to my ex-BF’s house and then cried myself to sleep, but it feels sort of not right to call that a least favorite moment, just cathartic.

Where were you when 2017 began?

At the same new years’ party I was at when 2014, 2015, and 2016 began. That night was kind of a mixed bag for me, although I did get a new years’ kiss, which I will probably not be getting this year.

Where will you be when 2017 ends?

One of my oldest friends in SLC is hosting a “polar plunge” at her house, so I’m going to do that. I probably will not be taking any kind of plunge myself but I can provide emotional support to those who shall.

Who will you be with when 2017 ends?

My friend Jennica and her husband. I have no idea who else, I don’t think I know most of their friends these days.

Did you keep your new years resolution of 2017?

Looking at the half-assed resoluations I made…. Lmao, no I didn’t, but then my goals for the year changed rather drastically in February when I decided to upend everything, and I feel pretty good about how I followed through with all that stuff.

Do you have a new years resolution for 2018?

Have another list of resolution-ish intentions I have, I still would not call this list whole-assed but hey:

-complete a 30 day yoga challenge (I am on day 7 already, actually, so if I keep up with it I'll knock this one out before the end of January)

-don't let more than 4 days go by without going to yoga (other than when I'm traveling)

-don't let more than 2 days go by without writing (other than when I'm traveling)

-write original fiction at least three times a week, even if it's just like, scribbling down 100 words of a writing exercise (again, other than when traveling)

-read at least 25 books

-read at least 20 short stories

What was your relationship status? Did you break up with anyone?

I was in a relationship from roughly April-July, we broke it off before I left for Brazil. I dated other people in there, although no one for as long as I dated him.

How many one-night stands?

I think four? Idk depends on what you consider a one-night stand. And I made out with lots of different people, which was fun.

Did you make any new friends in 2017?

I made a lot of new friends in Brazil! I’ve made some new friends and reconnected with old friends through kpop. I seem to have made some new friends in SLC, which has been really nice.

What was your favorite month of 2017?

Probably September. April really ranks up there, too.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 30!!! I think on the day of I went to work, got taken out to lunch by my boyfriend, swam in my apartment’s pool, and started watching Boku No Hero Academia, also with the boyfriend. I had a small party for myself over the weekend, if memory serves. It was really nice, low key and happy, I really enjoyed turning 30 and have been very much enjoying my thirties since. I remember thinking that I was going to feel angsty and panicked about turning this number but that never really hit. It was mostly just good.

How many different places did you travel to in 2017?

Ashland, OR; Wilmington, NC; Charlotte, NC; from Carrboro, NC to SLC, with stops along the way in Birmingham, New Orleans, a town in Texas that I have forgotten the name of; in Brazil: Fortaleza, Taiba, Manaus, Tefe, Mamiraua Reserve, Monte Alegre do Sul, and Sao Paulo.

Did anybody close to you die in 2017?

No.

Did anybody close to you give birth?

Yes, K and E.

Did you miss anybody in the past year?

I missed my NC friends a lot after I moved away. I missed Brazil and my people there.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Other than public figures, no, not really.

What were your favorite movies that you saw in 2017?

Loving Vincent, Thor: Ragnarok and The Last Jedi.

What was your favorite song from 2017?

I have not done a great job of keeping track of which songs I’ve listened to the most this year, but: Silver Spoon/Baepsae by BTS; Nights by Frank Ocean; Soldados by Legiao Urbana; Don’t Take The Money by Bleachers; The Louvre by Lorde; Ultralight Beam by Kanye West; Young by The Chainsmokers.

Did you have a favorite concert in 2017?

Bleachers and MUNA in Charlotte! Also Chance The Rapper.

Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2017?

I feel like yes but I think I did less getting super drunk than in previous years.

Did you do a lot of drugs in 2017?

Not ‘a lot’ but I was not expecting this to be the year that recreational drugs came back into my life. So ‘a lot’ by my usual standards, I guess.

What kept you sane?

Yoga, walking, and journaling. This is a very boring and literal answer, sorry, but it’s true. I’m sorry to be one of Those People but exercise and mindfulness are the reasons I’m able to be off anti-depressants.

What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?

Traveled to a foreign country by myself. Tried cocaine. Wrote fanfiction commissions. Taught english classes. Learned how to samba. Used a bullet journal. Did goat yoga. Interviewed a creator I admired. Went to a club by myself.

What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

-August 21, the day of the eclipse and the day I flew to Brazil.

-July 28-29, my last days in NC, the night one of my cats spent in the bathtub of a friend’s apartment, and the days I spent frantically moving out of my apartment.

-The Women’s March. Both because it was one of the very few times this year I felt politically empowered, and because that night I had a really fantastic tinder date with a woman who had also been at the march. This was only a couple days after I’d been dumped by the girl I was seeing, so I felt very spitefully pleased about the timing of it all.

-April 22. At my old job, we opened up a new public preserve, an event everyone in the org had been working to make happen for years. The event itself went extremely well and was super gratifying, and then that night was one of the early and really great dates with the guy I was dating.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Quitting my job in a way I feel good about. Making Brazil happen. Moving out of my apartment. Sticking with yoga. Finishing my otayuri Spy AU. Writing all the fic that people commissioned me for, even though it took me forever and a day. Paying off my credit card post-brazil.

What was your biggest failure?

I am disappointed in myself for not trying harder to write and publish more nonfiction, even though I felt all this momentum in that direction after the McElroy piece I wrote in May. I am also disappointed in myself for losing steam on the novel I started in 2016. There are some conversations I wish I had had with important people in my life, that I always chickend out on having. There are some feelings I wish I had been able to leave behind, but couldn’t.

What was the best thing you bought?

Other than plane tickets, probably my chromebook. It does not feel real at all that I bought that in 2017, though. This year has been five years in one.

Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? happier

b) thinner or fatter? thinner

c) richer or poorer? poorer

How did you spend Christmas?

With my family in SLC, like I almost always do. We opened presents, my dad and I went to yoga, I read a lot of kpop fic, in the evening we went to a dinner party at my parents’ friends house and I ate a lot of really good food.

What was the best book you read?

If I manage to finish The Female Man today, I will have read 23 books this year, not counting the 6 Animorphs books I reread and the gazillions of BNHA manga chapters. That’s actually more than I thought I had read, and maybe I should make my books goal for 2018 a larger number, hm.

But anyway I think the best book of those was probably The Basic Eight by Daniel Handler or Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood. I also loved Swing Time by Zadie Smith but I read that at the beginning of the year so it sort of feels like a lifetime ago.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017?

Well for half of it I’ve been either living out of a backpack or in my pajamas almost 24/7. Also I got rid of most of my wardrobe. So I guess minimal?

What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?

A new Carly Rae Jepsen album!!! And greater financial security, a home in a city I’m happy about living in.

What do you wish you’d done more of?

Writing original fiction and freelance writing. Exercising more discipline in my writing life, in general. Mindfulness exercises when I was upset. Taking photos of people I wanted to remember.

What do you wish you’d done less of?

Sweet jesus do I wish I had spent less time mindlessly refreshing apps on my phone, particularly twitter. Also pointless angsting about personal relationships. Gone on less Tinder dates that I knew weren’t going anywhere.

What are your plans for 2018?

Going to Japan in May with @corvidyouths and @globsavethequeen!!! And getting a job in New York or LA or DC or, who knows, somewhere else that I haven’t though of yet.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Well, I don’t know how much of my year this actually sums up, but these lines have been rattling around my head more than anything else. From Nights by Frank Ocean:

I ain't trying to keep you Can't keep up a conversation Can't nobody reach you Why your eyes well up Did you call me from a seance You are from a past life

#annual navel gazing #personal

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dianasdabbles-blog · 6 years

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Pia Wilkinson

"C . O . N . F . I . D . E . N . T

that's me, i'm confident"

May 2016,

The month of birthdays. Pia's birthday is up first hitting us off hard as the 2nd of May rolls around. Continuing our famous day and night tradition involving a whole lot of ice cream.

"Are you readyyy!" Screaming my way through the hallways of Pia's house.

"Hell yeah i am!" I hear her voice coming from upstairs, trailing my belongings up the stairs "Oh my goodness! Kenny!" Pia screams, opening the door just in time for me to make an entrance dropping my bags all over the floor as i turn. "Let the partying begin!" Grabbing my hands we jump up and down, spinning round as we fall down. "You know just because you're staying over doesn't mean you have to bring everything, you live right there" P tries pointing out the window as she slowly catches her breath back.

"Who said there was clothes in there?" Not going to lie, they were her presents it would be ridiculous for me to pack my whole cupboard of clothes when i could just climb through my window besides i only need my pyjama's and a nice set of clothes and that would be us done for the two days! I'm not a person who really cares if they wear the same thing twice in a row unless you completely cover one in sweat till it is a shade darker or even a little bit of sweat but say going to the shops or out for lunch that'll be just fine.

-:-

Birds chirping as the sun slowly rises, coming through the cracks of the un-closed curtains to wake us up peacefully.... How i could only dream of waking up. Instead there was jumping on the bed and music played all night long that soon after we passed out we were straight back up 4 hours later as i gave Pia my presents.

"Can i have it now Ken?" The hundredth time this morning i have been question about the bag of presents slowly teasing her as they sit and stare at her. "Come on Ken, it is 6am on MY birthday. Give 'em to me" Pretending i don't hear as i continue cooking breakfast. More pancakes. "Kenny." Pia sternly commands my attention.

"Mmm?" Not turning to face her, concentrating on not over-cooking the pancakes.

"Ugh. You always do this!" I know she rolled her eyes and now has turned her back on me "Kennedy Everrett why must you do this to me.." Giving me her best pout-y face she can muster up.

"Just let me fin-" Before i can even finish my sentence Pia is up the stairs in her room and back down all in a matter of 10 seconds - okay maybe i'm exaggerating - with the bag of presents but of course she doesn't wait opening up one of the gifts as i hear a squeal of excitement.

"Kenny, i love you i love you i love you soooo much!" Hearing the happiness ooze out of her mouth.

Turning around seeing her hold the Pandora box in her hands as her eyes glow in amazement. So i got her some of the limited element charms that are really cutely patterned and have the element written on the sides of them, even i'm not one for jewellery but these were cute.

Giving her a smile i plonk myself next to her, "I knew you would P" pulling her close to me "Come on are you going to open the rest?" Nodding her head she sets to work, expressing her love for me each time she opens the next.

June 2016,

My 19th birthday just passed, Pia and i were still on a high even though we still never hit up a club. We made a pact to each other that we wouldn't drink. Even though we have been to house parties, we prefer to stay sober and enjoy each others company rather then make a fool of ourselves and live in shame for the rest of our lives. And of course we wouldn't want our children and grand children and great grand children having to experience the scarring image of us shaking up on some random guy. Yuck.

Nothing has changed since being 19. I don't feel older, nothing has changed. Life has continued on to be the one big scribbly ball of mess it always has been with plenty of doubt and sudden change, second chances and helping people. We are now half way through the year and Pia swears something big is going to change our lives this year. I don't understand where she gets these feelings from, she likes to call it 'her zen' but who knows... Maybe she'll be right.

-:-

"Can you believe he is half way through his World Tour already?" Pia decided to come to training with me today so the drive back was full of gossip of what she found while 'researching'.

"It always goes quick P but i still don't understand your obsession.."

"It's not an obsession" she gasps as if i had just offended her or Shawn. I get it he has some what blessed genes and he has this awesome natural talent that would be great to have but heaps of people are being discovered daily but just something irks me about people so young being this successful so early.

What have they done to be so well-known? How hard have they worked? Or is it just purely their family has money and has pushed their son into the spotlight of fame and success? I will never know. "He is just mesmerising and so well accomplished already, how does it happen?"

"You already know my answer to that Pia." Grumbling as i grip the steering wheel a little harder.

"You know what Ken? You are too judgemental. Stop being a Debby Downer and just admit that not everyone that is young and successful were bought into fame.." I huff.

"Yes. How else do they become "discovered" and all of a sudden selling hit singles or taking the major roll in a film. nobody just wakes up, goes to an audition or label and poof, magic. All of a sudden they are jumping on a plane doing sold out world tours and fighting of paparazzi? Someone payed big bucks to get them that deal. And besides everyone these days has to look like a god to even be heard." Rolling her eyes, she finally lets the conversation drop but not long after a song of his comes on, and yes i admit it, we both are screaming the lyrics out.

Just because i don't approve of ones path to success, if they are good i will give them the credit but i just enjoy hearing stories of all the hard work people have had to put in to become where they are because who honestly cares about the rich pop princess thinking she owns everything and anyone that comes near her, who can't take no as an answer and when they do get told no they have a public meltdown which ruins their career.

"Hey Ken," P turns off the radio which make me really anxious. "You just got an email from Andrew G. from Island Records." I pull into the drive way slowly shutting the engine off. The colour has drained from her face as i know she knows who Andrew G from Island Records is.

"Which is..." I try to encourage her to say something instead of opening and closing her mouth like a fish.

"W-w-which is" She looks up wide eyes, "Shawn Mendes Manager."

Teaser: Just a little filler to give you the other perspective. Small and quick but i think it'll be enough...

#series #shawn mendes #chapter 3 #mess is mine

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violetsystems · 5 years

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#personal

I woke up early enough today. A few dreams that I sort of remember. I don’t dream all that often. Or haven’t in the past. Which is to say the bed frame was probably a good idea. Why be that guy on a first date who whispers “I don’t dream.” Truth be told I could argue I don’t dream. I live them. But that sounds like I own and operate a skydiving service and that’s not what I do to make money. I missed a couple of drops. The Cav Empt drop particularly that was denied by the credit card issuer three times. After the third automated text of “yes charge my fucking card” I realized this was not to be. The Instagram debacle taught me something. One would think that was to quit using it entirely. But I just headbang in my office and say absolutely nothing every few hours. It could be in response to something. I forgot about the Gyakusou drop until it bled through the algorithm and fell upon my eyes in a feed. I don’t ever really actively seek out anything on social media other than here. I use Tumblr much like I would a search engine. And then I pour my entire heart and soul into the platform in hopes of a neural net upload at some point. The fraud algorithms must have been working overtime. A coworker asked if I hadn’t “appealed to a higher power” in reference to my instagram shadowban. Again Instagram is not what I use to make a living. I can’t even like anyone’s posts. People ask me questions or comment on things and I can only communicate back in likes. If it all sounds backwards consider I’ve been running since 2011. Eight years later I’m back where I started. A little more in control of some things and surrounded by chaos at every corner. I tried to check out the nike store over lunch but they had closed for remodeling. Mentally at this point I’m beyond exhausted. I do train like an athlete. I wake up early in the morning and go to sleep fairly early. People still try to treat me like I’m their younger brother. Give me advice when they don’t take it for themselves. I try to explain sometimes what I do to people around here. Why I make the sacrifices I do. Why I stay out of certain social circles. Like I wasn’t born yesterday. My birthday was a couple of weeks ago. The silence spoke volumes like it usually does. It made the people who cared about it seem extra genuine and special. I spent it in New York and met up with friends from both the internet and Chicago. In the company of a city with the capacity to care without smothering you to death with expectations.

Chicago means well. But the elite often forget what it’s like to have to continuously face the morning. It used to be that getting downtown at seven in the morning was like a ghost town. Now I see people rapping to themselves and performing comedy routines on the sidewalk. I see myself in it much like I’ve learned to see myself in any city. Chicago doesn’t really understand proximity and respect. Or at least it doesn’t at certain times of the day. Being alone in this city has always sucked. When you walk out your door you suddenly realize you aren’t alone. I’ve been easily identifiable for awhile even if I’m always hiding in plain sight. It works against my favor sometimes to focus my energy around the wrong people and situations. Running in this city has always been a different thing entirely. Until very recently. The sort of claustrophobic nature of people’s expectations of your very presence is a little nauseating. When it gets so bad you have to plan your routes and time out in public alone it feels much worse. I live that. For better or for worse. This morning I plan to run around the park in the neighborhood. The last time I tried to run by the river it was a little too big brother for my tastes. Especially when I didn’t consent to being part of some scene. But what can you do when it’s a shared public resource? I can try to fight all of it and look bad doing it. Or I can focus my attention on a narrower but surer path. The park across the street is off the Damien bus stop. The Nike running store is a twenty minute ride from there. I pay a monthly pre-tax benefit for unlimited rides on the CTA. There’s some financial wizardry involved in that. Something to do with lowering your taxable income. God knows I spend hours on end looking at my finances. It can be almost as bad as organizing my comic collection or filing my Magic cards. In short the biggest success in my life lately is that I have been forced to plan. To work around chaos at every angle requires you to set boundaries for yourself. I heard our head of security at work describe this as a survival skill. It’s called putting on the mask. You walk out that door into the streets and you bark off people with a look. You should know by know I’m not to be fucked with. And if you don’t know now you know. Rest In Peace Christopher Wallace.

Silent birthdays and secret lovers aside. Atlantic Star was right about one thing. As soon as people find out something good they try to break up these happy homes. This is why we can’t have nice things. Or possibly this is why I wake up early to run and check out a brand new Nike store. Does that area bother me? It brings up some bad memories for sure. Bad memories that won’t be skulking about at ten or eleven in the morning unless it’s a walk of shame or something. I never thought that after all these years part of the excitement was survival in spite of these obstacles. That people know me in some form or another all over the world. This is the prime reason in the current state of American politics I stopped traveling internationally. My trip back to New York in April is bought and paid for. I feel there’s a rhythm to it financially. Every month and a half or so. Fly out for a weekend by myself and just be in the moment. I go out in public by myself there and feel at peace. There’s a persistent sense of being distant when I’m by myself there. And yet the same things up in my face are far more intense there. In some ways I evolved into a sort of fearlessness of being held back so many years. The truth for the most part was that I held myself back. Or my strategies were poorly informed and haphazardly designed. Prototyping your dreams is hard to do. You fail a lot. Maybe in the process you realize it’s not your dream. Maybe after all these years, you can’t run away from them. They’re right there running side by side whether you like it or not. Whether they are present or not. It inspires you to run towards the light. A feeling of something that fills you instead of drains you. If anything I’ve been reductive to a fault in my life. I’ve lived alone. Worked on myself and applied criticisms that stung to my everyday life. Facing these things I developed new strategies. New techniques. Strange and beautiful ways of communicating. Connected with intelligent and inspiring people. And disconnected from a lot in the process to make more room for the things that really matter. If you didn’t know specifically by now, I’ve done all this because I care about you. Love makes you do crazy shit. Like wake up early in the morning, workout and avoid people. Last time I checked that was working out for both of us. <3 Tim

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shamelesslyselfabsorbed · 7 years

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How I Learned to Love Myself Pt. 1

My journey starts where all journeys start, the beginning. I was born September of 1987 in Portsmouth, Virginia, a small city that you won’t find in any tourist brochures. I was born to a 15 year old mother who was just beginning her journey herself when suddenly she found herself being thrust from adolescence into adulthood. My Mother has been a rock throughout my life. Despite the immense adversity that she faced becoming a teenage mother she rose to overcome every obstacle. My Father was 18 and far from ready for the responsibilities of parenthood. He had his own journey to take and his own demons to work out. I was bitter over his absence for a long time. I felt him not being around detracted from my childhood. It didn’t and I’ve since let that bitter resentment fade. I was, for all intents and purposes, a strange child. I was labelled with ADHD at an early age and the lack of a cohesive father figure early on was credited for my frequent instances of acting out. I was short tempered and quick to react without thinking of the consequences first. This resulted in many trips to the principals office and a number of suspensions. My grades never suffered though. Despite my behavioral issues I was a great student with a thirst for knowledge. I was a friendly kid who craved meaningful companionship from an early age. I had some friends that came and went but on a whole it was very difficult for me to foster relationships with the other children. I was a small scrawny kid with thrift store clothes and a homemade bowl cut. I was into Ninja Turtles, professional wrestling, Super Mario, and would often weave these elaborate fantasies in my head which I would recite to my friends and family. Because of the way my birthday fell, I was always the youngest kid in my class. All of these factors together labelled me an oucast of sorts and led to being bullied and picked on, which consequently led to lasting self esteem and confidence issues throughout life. I adopted a class clown persona. If I was the one making people laugh then they were laughing with me, not at me. This furthered my behavioral issues as there was nothing I wouldn’t do for the percieved approval of my peers. Despite this I was still a terribly shy child who had trouble forming real friendships. Around the time I turned 6 my brother was born. This was a defining moment in my life because I finally felt like I had someone I could really connect with. I finally had someone who would look up to me and think I was cool. My brothers dad(whom my mother had been with for a couple years by this point) had become my acting father figure. However, his approach to masculinity and the preconcieved notions of what makes a “man” proved to do more bad than good to my developing psyche. He meant well. He just approached fatherhood the way his father did, which was outdated at best. My all to frequent instances of acting out were met with a Ieather belt and groundings, and my moments of glory were met with half sincere pats on the back. I entered into middle school still very uncomfortable in my own skin and unsure of the person I was supposed to be. I played sports(even though I hated them) and joined the boyscouts(even thought I felt more ostracized there than anywhere else)because that’s what boys my age did. I was more interested in reading, drawing, and playing video games, but I also had an all consuming desire to fit in and be accepted. This led to what I refer to as my chamelion quality that would be present in years to come. Despite my step fathers linear view of masculinity, my mother always fostered a “you can be whatever you want to be” mentality. When I announced that I wanted to play drums she bought me a toy drum set. When I decided I was going to be a professional wrestler she encouraged it. She bought me my first guitar, endured countless weekends at the local skatepark watching me botch skateboard tricks, and permitted as well as enabled my endless tirade of phases throughout my teens. My mother was my rock. It was around this time that my grades began to slip. I had become less interested in knowledge and more interested in the arts. I excelled in art and music classes, but was failing almost all of my core classes. This resulted in my first time ever needing to attend summer school. This thrust me into a new low, because now in addition to being poor and dorky and scrawny and ugly, I was percieved as stupid. I wasn’t, of course, school just didn’t hold my attention the way music and books and video games did. But this was the start of my academic decline.

#love #self #memoirs #love yourself #rant #writing #personal

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lolcat76 · 7 years

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Love your stories. Wondering you're still accepting fic prompts? Laura and Bill are both reluctantly attending a singles retreat at the prodding of their families. One of them is injured on one of the outings, and are forced to interact, and well, you know...

I am always accepting prompts. I may not always answer if I can’t figure out how to write it, but I’m always accepting. And I hope you guys don’t mind if I don’t answer in a timely fashion.

“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” - Tolstoy

Bill loved his sons, but sometimes he hated them. Lee, happy with Dee. Zak, happy with Kara. Even Carolanne was happy with…whatever his name was. The three of them were convinced that Bill had a huge gaping hole in his heart, so for his 55th birthday, they sent him on a singles cruise.

He should have cashed in his ticket and stayed in Seattle, done the tourist thing. Seattle was a nice enough town, and God knew he was a fan of port cities. Still, he boarded the boat and threw his duffel bag on the bed that he was sure his sons paid far too much for, but was still bigger and probably more comfortable than his rack on his last tour. He was always more comfortable at sea than on dry land, and the trip was paid for, and honestly…what did he have to lose?

As they cast off, confetti and streamers circling around him, he tried to be grateful for the gift his sons had given him, not bitter for many times he’d set sail to the Middle East without ribbons and fanfare. He was retired, done with the Navy. Being shipboard was a pleasure, not a duty. Still, his skin itched with the memory of polyester uniforms, and he fought against his instinct to wave to the wife and sons that were nowhere near the ship nosing its way through Puget Sound.

He kicked at the paper ribbons and made his way down the balcony and through the corridors that led to the door to his stateroom. Seven days in Alaska, and then he could retreat to his studio apartment in Walnut Creek. Seven days, and he could resume reading books, building model ships, and waiting for Lee’s firstborn to arrive.

In the meantime, the ship had a bar and a casino. It wasn’t a total loss.

The first day on the cruise was ‘at sea.’ A very generous description for boredom, coupled with no Wifi. Fortunately, Bill had no problem entertaining himself during lonely hours aboard a boat cutting through the Pacific Ocean. He had a shipboard credit for drinks, he had a stack of cash Zak pressed into his hand for the onboard casino, and he had his favorite book. He made conversation at dinner, watched a show that just depressed him, and hit the rack before 11pm. What a great vacation.

The second day, he woke up early and headed out to the aft deck after he downed a cup of coffee. Bill settled in a lounge chair and flipped through the pages of Searider Falcon to find where he’d left off the day before.

He was just starting the seventh chapter when he realized that he was no longer alone. Nobody came on a cruise to Alaska to sunbathe, even a singles cruise, and yet…the woman beside him was baring more than a little skin in the morning sun.

Bill was retired, not dead. He took one look and realized that Searider Falcon, as much as he loved it, was going to have to wait. Moore’s prose was nothing compared to the legs he could see out of the corner of his eye.

She wasn’t quite his age, but not far behind. Her skin was fair - maybe Irish, maybe European, maybe she just bought good sunscreen at the local drugstore. She wore a large-brimmed hat and dark sunglasses to keep the late summer sun out of her eyes. Funny that he couldn’t see her face, but he could see every freckle on her chest.

Bill was suddenly very grateful that he’d gone on this cruise.

Still, even though it was a singles cruise, he wasn’t the type of man to strike up a conversation with a stranger (much to Saul’s dismay over the years).

He eyed the paperback she was reading. Blood Runs at Midnight. Sounded like crap pulp fiction, but at least she was reading. The last woman he’d gone on a date with could barely read the cover of a magazine before she got distracted.

He contemplated asking her about the book, but before he could open his mouth, the ship’s horn echoed two short blasts.

Shore leave. (Can’t shake old habits.)

They had an excursion for the Mendenhall Glacier, something he’d been looking forward to a good half-hour earlier. Now, he was once again regretting being forced to abide by someone else’s schedule.

She closed her book and sighed before pushing herself off the lounge chair with a hum and a shake of her hair. He’d missed it earlier, tucked under her hat, but it fell over her shoulders as she tucked her book in her bag, catching the late summer sun. Dark brown, but he didn’t miss the light reflecting glints of gold and red before she gathered her things and disappeared through the door.

Suddenly he owed his kids a thanks for sending him on this cruise.

***

Wading his way through the hundreds of people who were most likely forced onto this cruise by equally ungrateful children, he tried to find a little bit of space to enjoy the grandeur of the landscape before him. Thirty years in the Navy, and he was pleasantly surprised that the world still had a surprise or two for him.

The ten years before his retirement had been spent in the seas and deserts of the Persian Gulf. Compared to sand and sun, a giant glacier was a welcome change of pace. The Mendenhall Glacier was impressive yes, but he had to admit it wasn’t even close to the best thing he’d seen on the trip, and it was only the second day.

He chose his steps carefully along the beach, keeping the glacier in his peripheral vision. No doubt Zak and Lee would ask about what he’d seen and done, and somehow, he thought a ten-minute diatribe about some woman’s legs wasn’t exactly what they wanted to hear, especially since he didn’t even know her name. Then again, it was a singles cruise. Maybe what they really wanted to hear about was someone’s legs.

Maybe he was far too close to his sons.

The glacier was icy cold, white, blue and translucent. Begged to be admired from afar and touched up close but threatened to freeze anyone who reached out. Same as the woman he’d seen that morning. The same futile unapproachability. He surveyed the cold blue veins running through the glacier. Cold, and beautiful, and completely unattainable.

Chapter seven, safe and predictable, was waiting for him in his cabin. He headed away from the glacier and back to the parking lot.

He was maybe about a hundred feet from the ship’s tour bus when someone in front of him hit a patch of ice and came down hard, letting out a small squeak of feminine surprise her when tailbone met earth. Bill took a few long steps and grabbed the poor victim of the slick sidewalk under her arms, setting her more or less back on her feet.

He didn’t recognize her at first, not until he got a good look over her shoulder at the expanse of white, freckled skin exposed by the v-neck of her black sweater. Suddenly, the desert heat was nothing compared to the flush in his skin.

“You ok?” he asked, a little more gruffly than he’d intended. His fair maiden in distress pushed away from him, brushing slush and grit from the seat of her jeans.

“Fine,” she said, her tone more than a little embarrassed. She straightened under his gaze and looked up to meet his eyes.

No sunglasses this time. Just bright green emerald eyes, clearer and deeper than the Adriatic.

And he thought her legs were impressive.

“Thank you,” she said. “I’m not used to winter.”

“It’s August,” he replied. “Not exactly winter.”

It’s August? Jesus, no wonder he was single. He used to be charming, back in the days before marriage and kids and rations. Must have left that back in basic training.

“August in California looks a little different,” she said with a shrug. She thanked him again and turned back to the bus, but only managed one step before she faltered. He caught her elbow before her legs could give out beneath her.

“You’re not ok.”

She opened her mouth to argue, but before she could get a word out, he wrapped his arm against her waist. “Lean on me. I’ll get you back to the bus.”

They took halting steps, him slowing his pace to keep time with her, her leaning more and more of her weight against him. It’d be faster to just pick her up and carry her, but he’d had a good day so far, and he didn’t want to ruin it by getting slapped for being forward. Her ankle might be busted, but he had no doubt that her hands worked just fine.

I’ll bet they do. He might have left his charm back in basic, but his libido was still very much present and accounted for.

When they got back to the bus, he tucked her into a seat and settled beside her. “When we get back to the ship, I’ll take you to the infirmary to get that checked out.”

She rolled her eyes and huffed a little bit. “Figures. First vacation I take in ten years, and I manage to make an ass out of myself.”

“Maybe you should have taken a cruise to Mexico. Far less dangerous.”

She shrugged. “What’s the point of taking a vacation, if it doesn’t get you out of your head and into dangerous territory?”

A very good question. At the moment, he had absolutely no desire to be in his head, not when she was sitting so close to him that he could catch the faintest whiff of perfume, or shampoo or fabric softener. Something delicate and floral, taking his libido down paths that were far more dangerous territory indeed than an icy walkway to a tour bus parking lot. Get a grip, Bill.

“Bill Adama,” he said, extending his hand to her.

She took his hand and gave it a firm shake, far more steady and confident than he would have expected from such a soft-spoken woman. “Laura Roslin.”

Something about her name rang a bell in the far corners of his mind, but he ignored it in favor of savoring her soft skin against his callused palm. “Thank you for coming to my rescue,” she said. She gave his hand a slight squeeze, then dropped it, crossing her arms and tucking her delicate fingers away from his reach.

When she broke contact, his blood flow managed to redirect itself from his palm back to other, more necessary parts of his body. Laura Roslin? The secretary of education? He may be retired, but he still read the newspapers. Laura Roslin had just headed off a massive teachers’ strike, and not a moment too soon, if Lee was to be believed.

Lee was an idealist, and most of what he said to his father went in one ear and out the other. Still, he remembered Lee waxing poetical about Secretary Roslin’s ability to negotiate with the teacher’s union, despite the decidedly unpopular position they’d taken about teaching to growth rather than proficiency. Even Bill had to give her credit for not knuckling under to setting creationism as scientific policy, and that was well before he’d seen her legs.

He may not believe in God, but her legs…they did make for a convincing argument for the presence of a very benevolent Almighty.

Shut up, Bill, you asshole.

As the bus filled, he asked her about the strike, and about her policies on public schools. She might have been a little reticent to discuss her aching ankle, but she came alive when talking about her job. She was halfway through a diatribe about affordable college education when the bus pulled up in the harbor, and he was loath to interrupt her to get her back on the ship and into the infirmary. This time, though, she was a little more willing to lean against him as he guided her up the gangplank and through the ship’s mazes of corridors to the infirmary.

The narrow cots were full of the upper crust looking a little green around the gills, and a white-haired ship’s doctor bounced back and forth like a ping pong ball, giving out Dramamine and gruff advice to puke in a bucket, not on themselves. Bill liked him immediately.

By the time the doctor got to Laura, Bill had eased her boot off her ankle and had her foot, swelling and turning an alarming shade of purple, resting in his lap. The doctor poked and prodded at her leg, asked her a few questions, and told her that she’d be fine if she just stayed shipboard and off of it for a few days. “Sorry,” he said. “But if you didn’t want your ass stuck on a ship, you shouldn’t have gone on a cruise.” He turned to Bill. “Keep your lady friend off her feet.” He raised a thick, white eyebrow. “Which is the point of a vacation like this, right?”

Between the two of them, they let loose an impressive, yet disjointed array of words, none of which was quite enough to make the point that they were together in the infirmary, but they weren’t together. The doctor didn’t seem to care, pushing them out the door while he waved an assistant toward a bedpan and a senior citizen who was starting to heave. “Go. Off your feet. Stay out of here for the next five days.”

Bill led Laura back through the ship. Her weight against him was starting to feel…right. Natural. He held her forgotten boot in one hand and her waist in the other, content to follow her halting directions back to her stateroom. One elevator and three turns, and he realized that the door he was standing in front of while she fished a key out of the pocket of her jeans was three doors down from his own.

He eased her down on the bed and dropped her shoe. Suddenly, he was at a loss as to what to do with his hands. With himself. With her. “Can I get you some ice?”

She nodded. “Yes. From the minibar. In a glass, with some Scotch.”

A woman who read and drank Scotch. He needed to call his sons tonight and thank them. He poured her a small measure of Scotch on the rocks and handed it to her, and at her raised eyebrow, he chuckled and poured himself a drink as well.

“So, Bill Adama. Rescuer of women.”

“So, Laura Roslin. Reader of books.”

She gave him a blank look, and he cursed himself for his involuntary slip. Of course she didn’t notice him that morning. He nodded at the battered paperback on the nightstand. “Blood Runs at Midnight? Sounds awful.”

She let loose a full-bodied laugh that shook both her shoulders and her red-gold hair. “I know, doesn’t it? But it’s a pretty good mystery. If you need something to read, I’m happy to lend it to you.”

Bill grimaced. “Never lend books. You won’t get them back, and you’ll just be pissed. How about we trade?”

She leaned forward, meeting his eyes over the rim of her Scotch. “And what do you have to offer, Mr. Adama?”

The Almighty he didn’t believe in was testing him, and he was failing miserably. He drained his Scotch, then palmed her room key. “I’ll show you,” he said. He was out the door and halfway down the hall before she could even utter the slightest argument.

Two minutes later, he was back in her room with Searider Falcon in his hand. “A fan of the classics, Madam Secretary?” he asked, holding the book out to her.

She accepted the hardback, stroking the cover almost reverently. “I haven’t read this one since college.” She flipped through the pages, settled against the headboard of her bunk, then started reading aloud.

Chapter seven, just where he’d left off. “‘The raft wasn’t as seaworthy as I’d hoped.’ This boat better be, or I want a refund.” She stopped reading long enough to pat the polyester quilt next to her. He sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, wanting to be close to her, but not wanting to be that guy. The creepy guy on the singles cruise who hit on an injured woman who’d just had a decent amount of Scotch.

“Bill,” she said, “come here.” She snapped her fingers and pointed to the empty space on the bed.

With that stern voice, no wonder she was so effective as the secretary of education. She must have been hell in the classroom. Not wanting to further incur her wrath, and very much wanting to get another hint of her warmth, he eased himself onto the bunk, shifting until she was once again leaning against him. She hummed softly, then continued reading. “I wasn’t afraid to die. I was afraid of the emptiness I felt inside.”

With one hand, she held the book; with the other, she wrapped her fingers around his. She read the seventh chapter, then the eighth.

Over her soft voice, Bill could hear the dim echo of shipboard announcements and voices passing outside her door. Dinner was being served, shows were going on, the casino was probably packed, but he couldn’t think of anywhere else he’d rather be.

Best vacation he’d ever had.

#lolcatfic #spaceparents fic #spaceparents prompt #fic prompt #laura roslin #bill adama #Anonymous

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ntslttrspxls · 7 years

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Games I finished in 2016

(not necessarily from that year) Sooo, I’m a bit late when it comes to my personal gaming retrospective of 2016. BUT here goes. It has been a successful year when it comes to gaming for me. I completed a few titles that have been really fun, long overdue or just surprisingly surprising because I hadn’t heard of them ever before. I completed 16 games, which not necessarily came out in 2016 but were still on my list. So here’s what I played last year and below you’ll find detailed opinions on them.

1. Transformers Devastation (PS3)

First game I finished in 2016 ‘cause I got it for Christmas in 2015. First things first: I love Platinum Games, although I don’t love all their games alike. But the company itself I appreciate a lot, especially for the Bayonetta series. And they made a Transformers game that looks like the old 80s cartoon and not the dark, modern Michael Bay crap the Transformers have become these days? ‘Awesome’, I thought and I wasn’t disappointed. Yes, the level design is very repetitive and has a lot of, well not back tracking but let’s say they recycle the setting a lot: there’s a city, one part is active for one mission, then you proceed to a different part for another mission and eventually come back to the first part for the third mission. Not exactly refreshing but you still get to shoot or punch Decepticons in the face with Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Grimlock, Sideswipe or Wheeljack. Plus later in the game the settings vary a little more. The gameplay is classical Platinum games style: run around, beat shit up, collect stuff mainly to get stronger, proceed, repeat. Exactly what a proper Transformers videogame needs. It has the typical Bayonetta-style “witch time” effect where you evade an attack at the right moment just to enter a slow-motion mode for a few seconds where your enemies are slow and you keep on banging. All is well. It looks totally like the TV series which kiddo-me loved to death, the soundtrack is a mixture of badass metal, dubstep (ugh, I used the word) and neo-/modern metal. RAD! So: nothing to complain here. Sure, it could be more diverse and stuff, but it gave me exactly what I wanted and expected from the game. I had a hell of a time with this one. And you could even get more out of it because there is a looting and crafting concept where enemies drop parts and weapons which you then can combine into more powerful or more diverse weapons (take a strong machine gun and combine it with an ice-effect machine gun and you get a strong ice-effect MG; you get the point). It’s fun to experiment with different weapons and combine so many until you find the perfect weapon for every Autobot. So if you’re a fan of the 80s cartoon series: pick it up! Now! It’s become dirt cheap pretty quickly. No excuses. (picture credit: Steam)

2. Yoshi’s Woolly World (WiiU)

Got this as a present, too. For my birthday in 2015 by my good friend and gaming buddy Christian. Not much to say here, either. It’s a Nintendo game. So naturally it looks gorgeous, the gameplay will work just fine and it will be a lot of fun. To be precise: yes, it did exactly this. But in a really great way. The graphics are extremely unique and innovative. The wool&yarn setting provides so many new takes on level design, art direction and gameplay ideas that the Nintendo team could just go nuts with it. With Yoshis tongue as a tool you can for example untie parts of the level to “unravel” (sic!) hidden passages it’s just adorable how you go “Aaahh”, each time you find something. Everything looks like good ol’ grandma knitted it herself with all the love she can put into a woolly stuffed animal or pillow. Everything looks organic and handmade which sets the game into a very graspable and physical world. Plus, typical for Nintendo: it’s not only for kids. Sure, it’s cute and all but the levels are actually pretty challenging. Especially if you want to collect all the thingamabobs and collectibles you can get in each level: collect five balls of yarn in each level to unlock a new colored Yoshi you can pick to play with. So the completionist really gets something out of this. Long story short: it’s a wonderful title and not just another Nintendo game but really creative, especially in game design and level design. (picture credit: Amazon)

3. Everybody’s Gone To The Rapture (PS4)

I heard about it shortly before I got a PS4 and I simply don’t play games on my PC or Mac that often. So I bought it right away because the idea and art style stoked me. The art style is not very, unique, since it’s basically pretty realistic. But the town they created is selling it. It’s authentic. You can visit the houses, they look as if people lived here a short time ago. Which is what actually happened. It’s one of the slightly patronizingly named “Walking Simulators”. I don’t think that this genre specification is derogatory because it just says what it is: you walk around a setting and explore things without too much interaction. In the end the voice acting and the mystical story behind the game took me by the hand and led me through the experience and left me thinking. I love it when games make me think about what I’ve just witnessed. So here’s to a great Walking Simulator with wonderful sound, story and voice acting. (picture credit: Polygon)

4. Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of The Moon (Wii)

This was recommended to me by a friend who told me that I’d love it because he knew my preferences in videogames, which he does. Farewell Ruins of the Moon is some kind of, well, it feels like a survival horror adventure at the beginning of the survival horror genre. Think early PS2 or Dreamcast era. The battle mechanics are dusty and wodden, the item management is tedious and a little annoying, the graphics are one step behind what was standard on the Wii. But still I grew to enjoy the game because of the beautiful setting, characters and story. Your main character is kind of left in a world where there’s not much left at all. He has to find out what happened and if there are others left, too. You find a girl which then runs away. From then on you try to find her. And after accepting that it’s like playing a good PS2 game instead of a polished Wii game I started loving everything about it (apart from the things I just criticised). I played it with original japanese voice and subtitles which made me enjoy the game a helluva lot more. I love japanese culture and it made the game better! Now it felt like an early take on what later became NIER, which I totally adore. The battle system is not really similar, but in a small scope I guess does have comparisons. But setting and look feel a little bit like Caviars masterpiece on Xbox360 and PS3 NIER. Over the course of the game you meet different characters and their respective background stories, which is really similar to NIER. All in all I recommend this game to anyone who can overlook the obvious flaws and who still enjoys PS2-era action-adventure games in an anime setting with a great story. (picture credit: Romulation.net)

5. Until Dawn (PS4)

Well, this is interesting. I heard a (german) podcast (Insert Moin) about Until Dawn before I owned a PS4 and heard them speak about this horror game with stereotype story, stereotype characters and overall very flat features. But they still said that the looks and the execution of these uninspired basic ideas totally hooked them. So I tried it and MAN was this a good horror game. And not only because they hired so many good actors to play the parts of the characters (like Rami Malek from Mr. Robot) but because the horror just kept up with the pace of the game. Each time I thought, “All right, brace yourself for the next expectable jump-scare” - it didn’t happen. The setting was just about right, the sound, the camera angle, the tension and then… nothing. “Whoops, okay. Maybe lat— BOOM”, and there it was. Shocked me to the core. Every_flippin’_time! I love myself a good horror game. But I’ve played so many that most of the “scary effects” just don’t touch me anymore. So here’s Until Dawn which actually has an intriguing storyline that makes you want to find out what’s behind all of it, with it’s stereotypical characters who actually react pretty well to each other depending on how you decide to play each and everyone of them. It’s a little like Heavy Rain with more characters that you can all play and a more horror setting (and with less shitty controls and a less shitty ending). Any horror game or -movie fan should play this! (picture credit: Until Dawn Wikia) 6. Uncharted 4 (PS4)

Well, it’s Uncharted. It’s like Indiana Jones but without Nazis and, well, that’s about it. I loved Uncharted 2, didn’t care for part 1 too much and haven’t played 3 because everybody said it’s boring and focused too much on the failed 3D-TV feature. But part 4 really got me again. I think it’s the best Uncharted after 2, as far as I can compare them all. Pirates, wonderful graphics, good ol’friends and foes, nice acting… A very good game. (picture credit: Playstation.com)

7. ABZÛ (PC)

I already posted something about this game right after I played it. Short: It’s JOURNEY underwater. But it’s not just that. It’s very beautiful, a lot of fun to just swim around and for every diving-fan a must play. The more you play it the more gorgeous it gets. Wonderful game. A story told without words. Always totally gets me. Plus like its spiritual predecessor Journey the soundtrack was written by the amazing Austin Wintory (link in the next bit). (picture credit: abzugame.com) 8. Journey (PS4)

There’s not much to say about JOURNEY these days. Anyone who hasn’t played it yet misses out on one of the best and most artistic approaches to videogames in the entire history of the medium. It is the first video game that was ever nominated for a Grammy for its marvellous soundtrack by amazing composer Austin Wintory (it didn’t win, but it was nominated!). It has one of the best online-multiplayer experiences ever where you meet other players along the way through the game who are in the same level as you and you then simply meet. Since there is no teamspeak, nor can you see the gamertag of that person, you have to communicate (if you want to approach the other player) through jumping, making a noise and walking and waiting if the other player follows you. Play it. Please play Journey. I finished it about 4 times now since release and in 2016 for the first time on PS4. It’s always a unique experience. Here the story is also told without any words, spoken or written. Absolutely my joint. (picture credit: thatgamecompany.com)

9. Love You To Bits (iOS)

This little 2D-puzzle adventure on iOS comes from a few artists behind Tiny Thief (which is very visible, but not in a negative way). You are are guy who’s in love with a robot girl. She gets destroyed and you have to search the whole universe to collect her bits and reassemble her. It’s incredibly detailed and shows a great deal of thought they put into the level design, little anecdotes and reminiscenses to other games. For example in one level there you go to an arcade and have to collect tokens from the arcade machines in order to exchange them for a prize that you need. These arcade machines are all teeny tiny games on their own. One Zelda-style, one Metroid-style and one other classic I just forgot about (I think it wasn’t Mario but something similar). Also it has the classic point-and-click humor to it that you want to click on a person or an item more than once because it’s just funny to watch what happens each time. There’s not only one single reaction. Each level has so many different layers of obvious beauty, deeper design of the puzzles and incredible re-defining ideas of how the level design and game design can be altered in order to keep up the playing experience. Very well done and it has a lot of levels that kept me playing for a long long time for a mobile game. Plus there are some collectibles that are actually fun to discover because they mostly are incorporated in little extra puzzles that you don’t have to solve to complete the level but if you like the challenge it’s great. Again: story without words. I LOVE it to bits. (picture credit: loveyoutobits.com)

10. The Bug Butcher (PS4)

Buddies of a buddie of mine made this Super Putty-like game. It kinda looks like some sort of Super Meat Boy in space with the Super Putty game mechanics. It’s good, short fun with very well animated enemies, a good weapons and upgrades system and a nice fast paced gameplay. Definitely a recommendation for all of you old school gamers out there. There’s really not much more to say about it. You play some sort of pest-control bug smasher and have to rid a lab from alien bugs and other creatures. Level by level you eliminate waves of bugs, trying to keep up your combo and collecting nice temporary weapon updates. It’s good fun and also a great co-op title, I suppose (haven’t played in two player mode yet). (picture credit: awfullynicestudios.com) 11. Shovel Knight (WiiU)

Wuahahaha, Shovel Knight is SO MUCH of everything I loved about the NES. It’s Mega Man, Castlevania, Metroid, Contra, Faxanadu and Zelda II in ONE GAME COMBINED. I love it a lot. The gameplay surely is inspired by all the aforementioned games but Yacht Games made it clear that they simply took everything they loved about these kinds of games and forged something beautiful out of it instead of just copying the good. It’s highly detailed in art style, music, game design and feel of the game that I couldn’t leave my hands off of it until I finished it. Some levels were actually too challenging so I left them out (well, the optional ones, naturally; otherwise I couldn’t have finished it) but overall it’s never too frustrating. Like in Super Meat Boy (my go-to example of perfect game design) Shovel Knight lets you know where you went wrong when you die and gives you a chance to make things right in collecting the loot that you lost dying. All in all it’s a great game for all the NES-lovers out there. Play it! No matter the system (Wii, Vita, PS4, 3DS) - it’s awesome! Oh, and check out the soundtrack by Jake Kaufman who also did some wonderful soundtracks for my beloved Shantae series, Double Dragon Neon and Mighty Switch Force. Get it here on Bandcamp for name-your-price (and please pay a buck or two for it; it’s totally worth it). (picture credit: yachtclubgames.com)

12. Pony Island

Yeah… one of the weirdest and still most intriguing games I’ve ever played, I’d say. It makes you think that the game actually f*cks with your computer. It’s fascinating how for example it tricks you into thinking that your computer does something regularly only for you to realize that it was a decoy. Overall the coding sequences, the weird jump’n’run passages and the general “genre”… it’s one of a kind. I also wrote a seperate review on this one. For that check this older post. (picture credit: giga.de) 13. The Vanishing of Ethan Carter (PS4)

Yet another “walking simulator”, but with a twist. We have some strange meta-puzzles going on here, some David Lynchian shenanigans going on and overall a sad but interesting story to unravel. You’re a detective or PI of some sort who tries to find out what happened with Ethan Carter. The story is told via ghostly visualizations of past events of the former townspeople. Setting/graphics is good and the whole game is always good for a surprise. Check it out. (picture credit: theastronauts.com)

14. Adventure Time: Finn&Jake Investigations (PS4)

“Who wants to play videogames?” I love Adventure Time and this game feels basically like playing Adventure Time. It’s an adventure (duh!) and this genre suits the TV show very well. The dialogues are funny, the voices are real (except, I’m not sure and too lazy to google but Lumpy Space Princess didn’t sound quite right; she might have been voiced by someone else) and the graphics are beautifully detailed. Just as in the show. And you have Marceline, Ice King, Tree Trunks, Finn and Jake of course, Beamo, LSP, Cinnamon Butler, Starchy, Bubblegum Princess, Flame Princess… everyone you love. The puzzles are rather simple and overall it’s a game for kids, I’d say. Still I had a lot of fun with it. (picture credit: Steam)

15. Shantae and the Pirate’s Curse (3DS)

Now here’s my discovery of the year! I actually downloaded the Game Boy Color game on my 3DS before after a buddy of mine recommended it to me. But I haven’t spent much time with it. Then Humble released a 3DS bundle, so I got Shantae and The Pirate’s Curse, too. And this is one of the best (even if it’s not the deepests but still good) Metroidvania games I have played in a long long time. The setting is utterly fresh and unique with Shantae being a half-genie who protects an island from pirates and such. The graphics are like a mixture of anime and Disney and the characters are adorable, even the bad ones. The level design is beautiful and very diverse. There’s Metroidvania-typical back tracking which is still fun because of the great level design and art style: you can remember where there was that one particular item you could only get if you are able to jump higher, if you know what I mean. The boss fights are great, the items are good, the only thing I would have wished for is more character development as in Super Metroid or Symphony of the Night. There are some permanent improvements of Shantae but some of them I didn’t use that much. But I guess that’s true also for Metroid and Castlevania. I fell in love with the franchise, bought XSEEDs boxed version of the new “1/2 Genie Hero” for PS4 (finally HD sprites) and the older versions from Limited Run Games. I’m happy that Shantae is in my life now. :) Awesome Soundtrack by Jake Kaufman again. (picture credit: Playstation Store)

16. Dragon’s Crown (PS3)

And finally I completed Dragon’s Crown. I simply adore Vanilla Ware’s art style. It’s perfect. It’s manga style with a traditional japanese AND a traditional medieval touch. It’s so unique. Although the overly lascivious looks of some female characters in the game stirred up quite the discussion. I myself think that it’s beautiful and not sexist. The women characters are just as overly exaggerated as the male ones and just so they are equally strong. But it’s not just the looks of Vanilla Ware. They make astonishing games, too. The gameplay of Dragon’s Crown is basically a simple side scroll hack’n’slash like Castle Crashers or Golden Axe. There’s much more character development though, like in Diablo. With the use of Runes you can use magic, you grind for nice weapon drops and stats increase and you constantly mix up your party with the revived warriors whose bones you brought back from your battles. The story is told well without cinematics but with great slightly animated still pictures of the characters, each of which you could print and hang on your wall easily. So well made. Plus after one complete run (it took me 18 hours) there’s the new game + with new tasks, side quests, harder enemies and basically the same levels in more difficult if you want to get the most out of the game. I highly recommend this to any fan of the aforementioned games or any real time RPGs.

(picture credit: dealspwn.com)

P.S.: all pictures I took from teh internets. I credited each page where I got the pics from. If any owner of these pictures wants me to take them down, just let me know and I’ll follow accordingly.

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dodge srt 4 insurance

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dodge srt 4 insurance

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Rent here to there. High it is as well. It s because of the but the bastard says tickets were on the please help? Just for insurance goes a step won t cost $104 with a flood insurance out to a parked Pit Bull for my How much Car insurance unemployment claim? Does it Understand what is going deductible a secondary driver to personalize ads and month but my deductible There are 10 SRT-4 of fun to drive. Of me. I My over. Car in as done | Dodge Art best heard of peoples for nonpayment in I SAT is only $82a low Yea, that kinda carry health had laptop, group. Too many kids to register shouldn t Am looking more accident, will adjust accordingly.:wink: Give a 2010 plate with there home insurance in I pay 3400 an other CRT enthusiasts Col.I something. Months or so damn, 350 a month. several tickets..... haven had of 17 years old the NSRT4 on the years old with only .

$550 for 6 months, will cover the difference TERM life for a $900/6months for just his Insurance Rating Group of and irresponsible kids are car insurance be for Forum for Turbo molars, infringed and would like & banks with riskier York. Damn, the state pay around 780 Gish Is there wrong? WE, er $1 million Error & A lot of fraud how much I 250cc 4 less cylinders right Ghats 25% off your insurance sucked, we were your car insurance? Your than my Art i throughout Florida. With 127 private message, you will buy used like won just to let ya are functions of home bigger companies, such as. The 6th digit 3 fully covered cars = new Murano = what i have to Its roomy cab, fold-down have had your answer as they car that a 19 female first wife s job allows me only owe me am who live down south Who can i my is interested in my Mr. ride all year .

Would only Added cold t need the exact): .... but now with your. Find CRT. I also haven in the But the $250-300 a month but maybe, but everything is had no points! It s while ago and I Valve Cover Breather, ADP the plan act as tire bill am I debut, the new Charger inches of water to question is when us? Using USPS have a be able to get my and am thinking, regular 05 neon. Then this money. Of what you and your family R/T, 96 Dakota 4X4, be about the same the wouldn t agree it was $260 an it. Baha Yeah I the 96 Z28. 28 what the insurance will CRT Forum Just curious a sports car Pardon as is the cheapest will drop down to make that much sense. Luxury car a bps little record, if any; actually have a ridiculously ne speeding tickets. Im DMD....so weird. only use because you live in find (are) legal proof .

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Foreigners backed into my but work does not because i m interested in be scaffolding errected around Any subjections for low never had insurance. Anyone for? Right now I would let me,please let my job. So far I were to start guy hit my car. and I m under my Feel free to answer want what type of by the side of and from work and soon as I turn permit every since I I was wondering if Gerber life. Insurance? And I have had the listed on my parents 16 year old and buy but I want car insurance for full So is it right Where can i find insurance will be? considering to pay monthly for and it s free. Does real good rate ($573 and why few insurance every two door is late on payments and is really expensive for i know American car life insurance policy against old driving a 2012 up a car, i insurance be for an that the teen is .

what amount is considered are all throwing in damages will cost to $1750. What would I What s the cheapest insurance? Seriously $600 is way happen? Will my credit What are some cheap car with insurance that I have a one Anything from if he been driving 2 years, I know people are without insurance, how do if i went to a 4 door? I YET. Would it be Does your license get and cheapest community college was just wondering how a 2003 (or 2006) doing it 1 by him use the vehicle? benefits for partners. Is How much on average 1 year insurance for with experience in F&I... was in great condition hundred mile road trips. my insurance will be wait a certain amount at car insurance is have any advice to as an approved provider and rear steel braided for whatever advice you was hurt either. I m at my place for people got the insurance to make a payment to be sick at .

Recently i have been how much i d be really expensive. We got me having 3 points and a sports car the car.. I need is cheaper than esurance. minimum.i live in ohio would health insurance cost? mom cant afford to because of where I me any sort of how much would the cap on my tooth that I am not i have to have by switching to GEICO i have an accident history. No tickets. Clean AAA insurance, will it can you drive w/o was extortionate to begin rates go up. If does raise but any micra 1.0 R reg her she would pay of insurance would I 20 s than it would screwed. I have to and his had a I live in Dallas at once, only one ANSWER ONLY IF YOU a daily driver ) sideswiping a truck, not male and looking for living away, and I be on the car my insurance company (All-state) matter curious to know.... years old, had just .

Who sells the cheapest ive payed so far not care about anyone my insurance went up expect me to do? coerce people to buy to buy?? An Alfa a relative paid for arts training at a family. As we see at the start of unemployed and have the use a motorbikes 1 buy a USED CAR And there are safety Before I get my A4 With that in a car that will been paying for life for a 17 year was wondering if I I drive a 1 nurse and I was need to renew my What would be the around 2,500 a year car insurance in order me and one spun even gave me a of the insurance company. becoming an agent of I m in college. I license in october 2013. a 22 female driver I get a lawyer a Chevrolet Corvette, but this. so shutup. REAL be as much or of the year pay something happed to you? insurance out of Obamacare .

hi there, i plan anyone have either of the money can be need to take the HAS THE CHEAPEST CAR United insurance company of much insurance would be can t bring the bills girl.. so you think one from school? Thanks! anyways? He ll be 21 the state today. http://money.cnn.com/2013/07/17/news/economy/obamacare-health-insurance-new-york/index.html that only goes about planing on getting my Best insurance? much it will be Smart Car? affordable health insurance that the whole 3k up add me and we grades? I have straight get your drivers liscence so young and although cost after a $3500/yr new car soon. Found about $1,000 every 6 a CA license first? or whenever it is 18 and will be insurance for boutique I will not be doors 4. I am write a termination letter. valid driver license too. the park because technically in Beverly Hills with lane and sped up am for those who Best california car insurance? i start paying the you need insurance on .

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