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honeytae · 3 years

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I think you’re forgetting how well I know you.

this has been on my wips page for so long and coincidentally i am so so soft for yoon rn :( i just miss him and adore him and yeah this is kind of a product of me wanting to take all of his problems away. hand them over, angel. i’ll take them all. tags: @ahgasearmyfan, @hoseokayy genre: fluff

warnings: semi-unedited eek sorry in advance word count: 2.3k

When you arrived at the dorm for dinner with Yoongi and his friends, you could immediately tell that something was off with your boyfriend.

He was strangely removed from the group with the way he seemed to zone out in the middle of every conversation, adding onto the fact that he looked like he hadn’t slept in days.

During the entirety of the meal, he only pushed his food around his plate with his fork, his mind obviously in a different place as his friends laughed at the retelling of stories from their debut days.

You concern really began to grow when you noticed his nervous habit of picking at his cuticles, a tell-tale sign that you were definitely not wrong about this one.

Something was seriously bothering him.

Your eyes stayed on him throughout the meal and followed his movements as he picked up his plate, withdrawing his body from the table and, with slow footsteps and hunched shoulders, trudged through the doorway of the kitchen.

Seeing a potential opportunity to speak to him, you stood from your chair, gathering dirtied plates from the table top while the other members jumped up to do the same. Making sure to thank them for their help, you pushed your chair into its original spot, turning to head into the room to find who you were looking for.

You tuned out their chatter as they followed you into the kitchen, the voices behind you easily going in one ear and out the other as you frowned at the sight of your boyfriend.

Yoongi’s back faced you as he sipped at the glass of water he’d just filled with his eyes directed out the window, seemingly lost in thought. His shifted demeanor from his usual behavior was perhaps unnoticeable to people that didn’t know him too well, as the man was a known introvert, but it never flew over your head.

Watching your bodies appear in the reflection of the glass panes, he took a step to the side, the movement shifting himself over a few inches and creating space for you to place the dishes in the basin of the sink.

“I got the dishes, boys.” You said appreciatively, the men seeming to get your hint as they nodded at you with sympathetic smiles.

‘Good luck,’ Namjoon mouthed to you before turning around to exit the room, ushering the other boys out into the hallway with a shooing motion of his hands.

Successfully pushing the boys out, you sighed as your focus went back to your boyfriend, studying the slight crease in between his eyebrows and the prominent frown settled on his lips as he seemed to switch his concentration to scrubbing at the dish in his hand with a pink sponge.

Silently creeping up beside him, you held your hand out for him to place the object in, him glancing up and smiling slightly at you before handing the dripping wet porcelain off to you.

The air in the room was calm as he continued rinsing the dishes, giving them to you once he deemed them good enough so that you could line them up in the racks of the dishwasher.

You liked to call this the calm before the storm; the period of time where Yoongi was still clueless to the fact that you were fully aware that his smile didn’t meet his eyes. At this moment, he thought he’d done a great job at covering up his true feelings. Little did he know.

Once the sink was empty of its dirtied contents, you made the quick decision that it was time, shutting off the faucet to stop the outpouring of water as you placed yourself in front of him, leaning your lower back against the counter so he couldn’t busy himself with another meaningless task.

“So, what’s going on?” You asked him, Yoongi’s stoic expression changing to one of surprise as he picked his head up to meet your eyes. He only hummed in reply, looking at you with raised brows in a silent question of what you meant.

“You’ve barely spoken all night. Plus, you have that look on your face.” You elaborated, continuing to blink at him as you awaited an explanation.

You could tell he was trying to conceal his frown, the sudden and forced upcurve of his lips in response to your suspicions failing to waver your persistence.

“I have a look on my face?” His brows lifted in surprise, making you nod with widened eyes to exaggerate your point.

“You do. The look that tells me something is wrong.” You persisted, pupils imploring his own to be honest with you as his own guiltily darted from your face.

“I’m okay, angel.” He dismissed with a feigned chuckle, bending down to kiss your temple to attempt to prove his point. He pulled back with a tight lipped smile, turning from you but stopping once you grabbed his wrist, cementing him next to you so that he couldn’t run away.

“I think you’re forgetting how well I know you.” You reminded him, his face blank as you stared at him.

With a sigh, you grabbed his wrist, the man easily following your lead as you walked down the main hallway to his room. You waved a brief goodbye to the men sprawled out on the couch on the way, them knowingly bidding you both goodnight as they watched you retreat to Yoongi’s bedroom.

You were glad that you had been able to pull your boyfriend away from the exposed area, knowing that he would never open up to you if there were possible other eavesdroppers listening in to your conversation.

Shutting the door behind you, you let go of his wrist, releasing him from your hold and leaving him standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.

Yoongi was not the best at opening up to talk about his feelings, which is something you’d learned in the first couple months of dating. It wasn’t that he was emotionless or cold; it was quite the opposite, actually. He felt everything, he just didn’t like to verbalize it.

“So, gonna tell me what’s wrong now?” You asked as you sat on the edge of his bed, peering up at him with wide eyes as he occupied himself by taking his watch off, setting it on the dresser on the other side of the room, the metal tapping the wood quietly.

He only let out a fake laugh, opening his mouth to deny you again before you cut him off.

“Please don’t shut me out, Yoon.” You said, Yoongi’s eyes casting to the ground at the sudden vulnerable moment as he chewed on his bottom lip.

The room fell silent as you waited for him to speak, only the muffled sounds of the men in the other room fighting for the television remote being heard as you both exchanged brief small smiles at the sound.

“Nothing serious happened.” He assured you, your head nodding as you took in his words.

“Okay, that’s good. But something upset you, right?”

“I just had a bad day, I guess.” He admitted, shrugging it off as you studied his saddened face with a heavy heart, shooting him a look as if to say ‘is that really all?’

“I’m having a lot of trouble with this project.” He heaved a sigh, his tense shoulders dropping with his confession as you nodded, a silent ask for him to continue as you sat all ears.

“I just feel like, with each success that I have, the pressure builds. I’m so happy to have all the opportunities I’ve been given, I really am. But fuck, what if I screw it all up? What if I disappoint everyone?”

Your heart broke at his words, realizing that, yes, this insanely spectacular person in front of you had insecurities about himself and his place in the world. How, you didn’t know. To you, he put the stars in the sky every single night, made the world a better place just by simply being him.

The man was a perfectionist, which was one of the things that you loved most about him. His passion and drive for producing the best quality he possibly could was at the very least admirable. But it was also worrying as a significant other.

You had to put a lot of extra effort into things like making sure he was eating and sleeping properly. There were many nights that you spent sleeping in his studio, waking up every few hours and attempting to drag him onto the cot with you.

Additionally, you were always the one who picked him up when he fell down. In moments where he felt as though he wasn’t worthy of the success he’d had, or feelings that he wasn’t good enough to participate on a track; you were there, boosting his confidence enough to continue on with what he’d been doing before he got sidetracked.

While this was certainly not the first time he had expressed insecurities in himself to you, it was the first time in a while that he had done so. A part of you wondered how long this had been building up inside of him, guilt taking over you momentarily before you pushed it aside, determined to reinstate his belief in himself as you sat up straighter on the bed.

“First of all, I don’t think you’re capable of screwing anything up. When you touch something, it turns to gold, so,” You lightly joked, Yoongi chuckling a scoff as you smiled slightly at him, your face falling again as you got serious.

“I can understand the pressure increasing, but you’re not going to screw it up, baby. It’s alright to feel a little stuck right now, but you’re so fucking talented. You have every reason to believe in yourself.” You said, his face unchanging as he stared at you.

You could almost see the internal war he was having within himself, not knowing whether to believe the voice of the devil on his shoulder or your own.

”By the way, you haven’t been given anything. You’ve busted your ass to earn everything you have. Not once have you taken the easy way out.” You spoke firmly, his blinking speeding up at your words, an attempt to dry his eyes as he awkwardly shuffled under the thick air in the room.

It was when you saw his hands fidgeting at his sides that you stood from the mattress, the simple action providing you with the hint you’d been waiting for.

You’d known Yoongi long enough to know that he asked for comfort in subtle ways, never one to come out and ask for it. He preferred to insinuate the care he needed in small gestures; ones that you could easily miss if you weren’t looking for them.

Wrapping your arms around his torso, you hugged him tightly, palm soothing up and down his spine as he looped his arms around your waist, perching his chin on your shoulder as he sighed in appreciation.

“I’ve been trying new styles, but,” He trailed off, shrugging weakly as he spoke over your shoulder, “I just don’t know if people are going to like it. It’s different.” He sighed, the bunched muscles of his back loosening when your fingertips massaged into the area.

“Who cares if some people don’t like it? They can fuck off.” You said pointedly, Yoongi letting a genuine laugh out at your blunt words.

“Just trust your gut. Look where it’s gotten you before.” You spoke softly, Yoongi biting his cheek and chewing on the flesh anxiously as he listened to you, feeling unbelievably grateful for the endless support and grounding you provided him with.

“I wouldn’t be able to do any of this without you, I hope you know that.” He admitted as he pulled his face back to look at you, you swiping your thumb against his smooth cheek as you nodded.

“We’re a team.” You said, Yoongi smiling back at you before leaning down to brush his lips against yours in an appreciative touch.

“What can I do to help you?” You asked, the apples of Yoongi’s cheeks appearing as he chuckled under his breath.

“You already have.” He squeezed at your waist, voice soft as you studied his features for any of the disgruntled emotions you’d seen earlier. You found none, more of a tired expression in place of the sad one from before.

The skin underneath his eyes circled in rosy purple, his limbs increasingly heavy in your hold as you rubbed his arms up and down in your palms, Yoongi’s eyelids began to flutter out of his control as his shoulders loosened from their tense hunch.

“Alright, well. What else can I do?” You pressed, knowing that despite his change in demeanor, he still needed a bit more comforting.

“I think I’m just gonna lay down. You can go back to the guys if you want, I think they put in a movie.” He turned from you, plopping down onto the bed with a grunt and pulling the covers up over his body as he dug his phone out of his pocket, holding the device above his face so that the screen lit up his features in the dimmed room.

Smiling in amusement at his effort to play it off, you silently padded over to the bed, crawling onto the mattress and dropping your body down beside the man, your head landing on his chest as your arm crossed his stomach.

You didn’t miss the way Yoongi’s lips twitched into a small smile at your decision to stay with him, wrapping an arm around your back to hold you to him as you pursed your lips on the material of his shirt underneath you.

“Thank you.” He murmured quietly, clicking his phone off and setting it down so that his other hand could wrap around your body, holding you to him with a content exhale.

“Teamwork.” You responded simply, Yoongi craning his neck slightly to kiss the top of your head as he shut his eyes, you doing the same as you rubbed soothing circles into his chest with your fingers.

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not-poignant · 3 years

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Hi Pia! I'm a huge fan of your work and deeply enjoying FFS rn, it really shows the love and care you've put into this world and characters and it's an amazing read 🥰🧡

Idk if you've actually answered this question before or if it's a bit too much? So feel free to skip it. Do you have any advice on how to write a therapist and sessions with them? And to go along with that, a therapist&patient relationship that doesn't feel inauthentic but that's a healthy one?

I've had to visit both psychiatrists and psychologists a couple of times along my life, which has almost always been a positive experience to me, but when I get down to business and want to write a character going to therapy, I fall into a bunch of the psychoanalytic clichés US films have hammered us down with, even if I'm not from an Anglophile country!

Thanks a bunch in advance!! Ilu, have a nice start of the year🧡✨

Hiya anon!

I have a few thoughts about writing therapy sessions so I’m just going to put them down in no particular order.

Firstly, I don’t actually think it’s always a good idea to write therapy in stories, and a lot of the time I avoid writing it even when a character is actively seeing a therapist. This is particularly true in The Wind that Cuts the Night where all we see of Alex and his therapist are snippets, and nothing more than that, because therapy sessions would slow down the pacing, focus and value of the story.

Where possible, characters don’t see therapists, but talk to people in a way that is therapeutic, usually with love interests or members of the ensemble cast (Augus and Fenwrel in The Court of Five Thrones, Jack and Eva in The Golden Age that Never Was, Jack and North in From the Darkness We Rise/Into Shadows We Fall, Cullen and Cassandra, Cullen and Bull in Stuck on the Puzzle). All of those characters need therapy, but writing therapy sessions tends to slow down the pace of a fic pretty dramatically, and even I had misgivings about writing Efnisien’s sessions with Dr Gary at first because I’m acutely aware of the fact that:

1. Therapy sessions can be draggy and boring 2. They often take away important emotional realisations from other characters, ruining potential hurt/comfort and character relationship development moments with your actual cast / love interests 3. Fiction is meant to be fiction, not reality. 4. A lot of therapy sessions are actually not that interesting to sit in or write or observe, which is why writers do often find themselves falling into certain cliches while writing them to make them more interesting. Even I cut out huge chunks of sessions to get to the more interesting parts, lol. 5. You can write a character going to therapy without writing the therapy. You can just choose to have the character remember bits and pieces of the session later as it’s relevant to their life. 6. Therapy is different for everyone, and some readers (myself included) don’t enjoy reading it when the therapy is a kind that doesn’t resonate or feel right.

So you really need to ask yourself why you want to write therapy specifically, because a lot of the time it gets boring or - as you point out - falls into cliched territory. Writing a character going to a doctor a lot in detail for regular injections is boring. Writing them thinking about how they have to do this in brief while their love interest is sympathetic to them getting those injections is more interesting. Writing a character suffering from an illness that they need regular injections for, with their love interest comforting them? Interesting.

Falling Falling Stars is a unique fic in that Efnisien has no one before he meets Arden, except for Dr Gary and Gwyn. If you’re writing an FFS style fic, writing therapy sessions might be appropriate. It might be worth really thinking about the kind of fics you want to write, why you want to write therapy, how that will affect your pacing, etc.

If you’re still dead set on writing therapy sessions, then I have some suggestions re: writing more realistic/healthy therapy and how to find that knowledge yourself, and I don’t really know how to shorthand some of it:

1. Get books on therapy that are designed for the therapist. These are often expensive, but sometimes libraries stock them - and university libraries in particular will often have photocopy abilities (or you can just photograph the pages you need) because these books look at how sessions should be structured. Books with case studies are ideal, since they often show dialogue chains between the client and therapist. Books that obviously deal with the mental illnesses you’re planning on writing about are the most ideal.

2. With a view to this, learn about different therapeutic modalities (for example are you trying to write psychology or psychoanalysis or both? Are you writing social work? Are you writing cognitive behavioural therapy, dialectical behavioural therapy, expressive therapies, narrative therapy, transcendental therapy?) Be aware that different modalities have different session structures and learn what they are. Wikipedia is your friend, but your closest friend will be actually acquiring textbooks on the subject. This is a pretty significant financial barrier at times, I’ve been collecting books like this on psychology since like 1997.

3. Learn about your character’s mental instabilities that require them to go to a therapist and then look up the most recommended forms of therapy for your character’s specific issues. Will they suit your character? Why/why not? Will they have a therapist who realises and switches modality if it doesn’t suit? Or will they be lucky and find someone who helps them straight away?

4. All therapy sessions have a structure to them. And therapy often has a narrative arc through the course of therapy over many sessions. They should generally have the attempt at a beginning (greeting / setting up the problem to be discussed), middle (highlighting the source of conflict or inner conflict) and end (helping the client to focus on less stressful things, possible homework assigned, and potentially talking about future work/sessions). Learn this structure. Even if you’re not writing the whole session, you need to know where in the session you’re writing, beginning/middle/end will be different tonally. Structures will be different per therapeutic modality, and a therapist that knows many different modalities (like Dr Gary) will often be using slightly different structures each time depending on the character’s mood/issue.

5. In a healthy therapist/client relationship there will be the ability to discuss boundaries, grievances and the therapist won’t be revealing much about their personal life at all (unless anecdotally it’s super relevant and even then it will be deliberately vague). This is one of those things that will - in many cases - make for more boring sessions on the page, depending on the ‘client.’ For example, if you’re writing someone seeing a therapist for the first time, it might realistically take months or years before they start showing progress or trust. That’s not interesting (there’s a reason ‘therapy fiction’ isn’t a genre), so of course it’s tempting to shortcut into more dramatic moments.

I would say if you’re finding yourself leaning towards more cliched or dramatic forms of writing re: therapy, your writing brain may sense that the entire scene/s may not be suited to the story, and is trying to find a way to make them more interesting to yourself and the reader. If that’s not the case, then a lot more research is needed! It’s time to sink many hours into actually understanding what you’re trying to write. This doesn’t matter as much if you’re writing unrealistic or unhealthy therapy, but it’s 100% necessary when you’re trying to write healthier therapy depictions.***

Also a couple of sessions of experience is a start, but you might want to watch or find a way to watch more therapy sessions, because you’ve missed out on experiencing longer arcs, different modalities etc. (This is where my hands on experience with 19 therapists since 1995 is actually really helpful, lmao - I’ve had close to like 800~ sessions by now, with good and bad therapists; I cannot pretend that hasn’t given me a knowledge base that most people don’t share). You can still learn that stuff via research, MedCircle on Youtube is a good place to start, since it offers 30 minute snapshots on what CBT and DBT sessions will look like etc. and has some great playlists.

Most fics I’ve read don’t do a great job of depicting therapy, but the Babes!verse series by @rynfinity has probably some of the most realistic and still really interesting sessions I’ve read as an ongoing arc. The series is long, because it needs to be re: what it’s dealing with, but it’s great, and I definitely recommend looking at another example of how an author tackles these sorts of scenes. Out of the Mouths of Babes / The March of the Damned are the two intertwined series.

I apologise if this sounds discouraging overall, or daunting, but I just want to stress there’s a reason that I’m often not writing therapy in my writing, as anything more than the occasional scene with a non-therapist, or snapshots that are reflected on and that’s it. Falling Falling Stars is the exception to the rule, and unless you’re writing an exception to the rule as well, it’s really worth reflecting on the first six points I wrote - it’ll save you a fuckton of time and research. And if you go ahead with it, I wish you well! :D

*** Also disclaimer: But I still am writing very indulgent therapy that is not beholden to being either a 100% healthy or 100% realistic depiction. The fact is, real therapy sessions are pretty boring for observers except for maybe ten or twenty minutes in the middle at times.

(ETA: It’s just occurred to me that therapy fiction does exist, esp. in the mass media, but that it is - afaik - all unrealistic, dramatised or unhealthy. But if you want to watch a great show - I highly recommend In Treatment with Gabriel Byrne, just by aware that it is depicting, for the most part, unhealthy dynamics which are more character studies than anything).

#asks and answers #pia on writing #pia on psychology #it's even worth being away that clinical psychologists often frown on psychoanalysts #and psychoanalysts often frown on the rigidity of clinical psychology curriculums lol #dr gary works within both schools and is a bit of a rebel in that sense #anyway yeah like #even i was really wary of writing too much dr gary #and only really gave into it indulgently #when people revealed they were enjoying those scenes and dr gary himself #but like #i would hate him as a therapist #he's pushy and sometimes pretty impatient #even what i write re: therapy #is not necessarily a reflection on what a real life person would experience #in the same circumstances #Anonymous

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lozzypoz321 · 4 years

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Word count: 3.8k!

A/N: this is one of my favourite things I’ve ever written and I’m super proud of it, also the biggest word count I’ve ever done, hope you enjoy and pretty please leave feedback!! <3

Warnings: brief mentions of underage sex, calling of child services, brief mentions of an anxiety attack

Avengers college AU

Bucky: Guys I’m really desperate

Bruce: what?

Steve: wdym?

Bucky: does anyone have the first period free tomorrow? Can’t afford a babysitter for Riley :/

Tony: nah can’t, I’ve got a busy schedule

Clint: economics man

Bruce: science m8

Nat: same as Clint I’m afraid Jamesy

Clint: wbu Steve?

Steve: library club and I can’t skip

Bucky: >: I

Bucky: I think I may be having a midlife crisis.

Tony: okay 1. You’re 20 and 2. You shouldn’t have gone an’ knocked up a woman at 17

Nat: Tony!

Bucky: You’re acting like you didn’t get some at 17 Tony

Bruce: he has a fair point.

Nat: and anyway Riley’s too pure for your insults Tony

Bucky: uwu

Tony: you have officially turned into every teenage girl Barnes

Nat: anywayyyyyyy, Thor how’re you coping with your brother’s “phase”

Tony: I am starting to think Loki’s goth phase isn’t just a phase Natalie, I caught him walking around in a skull T-shirt with chains this morning

Clint: oh daym

Steve: what are you going to do?

Thor: I am going to show that I respect him by buying him some flowers!

Clint: What abt a chain tho?

Nat: wait, does anyone wanna go to laser tag at some point?

Tony: oooh yes!

Bruce: yeah I’m down! :)

Steve: I’ve got time yeah thanks

Bucky: I never back down from a laser tag game

Nat: great! I’ll book it with Tony’s card

Tony: wait what?

Bucky: oh shit, I’ve gotta go, Riley’s just run away somewhere brb

Clint: oh damn.

Bucky shoved his phone hastily into his pocket and looked around, desperation filling his eyes as they searched for any sign of his daughter. The bushes swayed with the evening breeze and very few people strolled around campus, either going on a walk, meeting up early with friends or getting food. The young adult heavily sighed out of relief when he caught sight of Riley, excitedly chatting to a man, who James quickly identified him as one of his other friends, Sam.

Braking out into a light jog, he made his way across campus to the pair while also trying to avoid bumping into the other students that were now staring at him, in college he was basically known as the fuck boy. Not that he was, the only reason behind it was that he had a daughter at 17 and everyone apart from his friends never saw past that.

“What’re you doing here munchkin?” He asked the small girl who was now shyly smiling at her father. Sam chuckled at the duo and turning his attention away from Riley, “wasn’t her fault dude, just telling me how she’s going to chemistry class tomorrow, can’t wait to see that” he said with a sly smirk on his face.

Bucky mentally sighed, yes it was going to be very tough tomorrow. Not only was she very restless, but she also was very talkative and wouldn’t put a filter on around people older than her, which most of the time could be very offensive. “Yeah! I promised him I’ll be good!”

“Oh really? Well I kinda hoped you’d have something to say to Professor Demon”

“Sam,” he groaned and ran a hand through his hair “his names Damon, if he caught you sayin’ that then we’d get suspended so quickly dude” Riley giggled and looked up at her dad innocently “and then we’d go poor because you suck at getting jobs”

“He sucks at everything” Sam mumbled, earning a glare from the other man. “We better go get some food now, there’s literally nothing in the fridge except a can of tuna, some ketchup and packets of sour sauce from takeout awhile ago”

“Oof man”

The walk to the diner that he had decided on going to after he couldn’t be bothered going grocery shopping was a long one. Riley insisted on stopping for every dog they saw, to ask to stroke it. “Ri’ baby, we can’t keep stopping, we gotta get back to the dorm before it’s your bedtime”

The pout she sent him instantly melted his heart before he realised she knew exactly what she was doing and he readjusted his grip on her hand so she didn’t end up running away again like she did earlier.

“Ri’ what do you want?” He asked the child once the waitress had come over asking for their orders. She gave a nonchalant shrug and turned her attention back to the video that was playing on Bucky’s phone that he had given her for the wait. “M’kay so, can we get a,” he took a pause to take a quick glance at the kid’s menu on the table “chicken nuggets and chips please with… chocolate milkshake?”

Riley nodded and the waitress, who from the name tag on her apron, was named Elizabeth, began to write down both his and her order but halfway through gave a quick glance up to Bucky, but when he caught her cheeks flooded red that made his daughter snort.

“Is that all sir?”

“Riley shut up” he quietly told the girl as Elizabeth walked away with her head down. “She was flirting with you dad” she laughed making him jokingly nudge her across the table “Oi, and anyway she’s not my type munchkin”

“Well don’t be too loud, the creeps staring at you dad”

He didn’t mean to, but without thinking his head whipped round to instantly make eye contact with the woman who was biting her lip, her eyes now as big as plates. His cheeks heated furiously as he immediately turned back around to face his adorable giggling daughter. “You better like those chicken nuggets munchkin cause I’ve got to go through this to get them”

“I will dad, I like chickens”

“Riley, come on you gotta get some sleep” he groaned once she’d slid onto the sofa where he was writing his assignment last minute for the fifth time that night.

“But dad,” She whined and pulled on the sleeve of the college logo sweater he had pulled on without even thinking about it once they’d got home as he had only just realised he had a paper to write, “I’m not tired and I don’t want to be alone”

His eyes softened at the pleading look on her face that would get him to do anything she wanted him to “m’kay baby, how about we go into into the bedroom and you try to get some sleep while I finish this up”

She nodded enthusiastically and he picked up the study books and paper in one hand and Riley in the other, deep eye bags could be found on his face from the lack of sleep that he had spent pulling all-nighters working on college work and began to make his way into the small room that had a single bed pressed up against the wall with a mattress next to it, an abundance of blankets on both.

He set the small girl onto the single bed and lowered himself down into the smaller one, using the bed frame to press his back against and using a hardback book underneath the paper to rest on.

“Why do people stare at you?” Bucky only just heard Riley mumble as her eyes struggled to keep open. He stopped writing but kept his hand in the same place while grinder his teeth, wondering what to say. “Cause baby… people don’t really think that I should have you this young,” he struggled to find the words as he felt his daughter roll onto her back to listen “but they don’t understand that I love you a lot, don’t I munchkin?”

Riley giggled behind him and uttered a small yes. “At least they haven’t tried to take me away again”

The young man's breath hitched in the back of his throat at the memory flashed through his mind. They’d been watching a movie with Steve after their classes and a knock had sounded on the door.Apparently, Child services had been called by one of the students and they tried to take her away but he wouldn’t let them, they had threatened to take him to court because the living settings were not meant for a child but 17-year-old Steve had calmly spoken to them outside the room while James had been on the edge of a panic attack inside.

“Yeah, scared me Ri’” his horse voice answered back making her eyebrows scrunch in confusion “I’m not going anywhere dad. Well, unless I die but y’know”

He sent her a bitch face look over his shoulder which made her uncontrollably giggle. Bucky chuckled and set his attention back to the essay while absent mindedly talking to her about random things.

“Is Loki gonna be at the laser tag place?” She asked and added on excitedly “oooh can I come dad?!”

“Sure doll, let me tell the guys”

Buck: we got plus ones on this laser tag thing?

Bruce: whyyyy??

Thor: oooh if that is the case I would very much like to take my brother!

Nat: oh are you bringing Riley then?

Buck: yup

Steve: I don’t see why not

Tony: I’m off to speak to this really hot girl

Clint: what that spice girl?

Buck: do you mean pepper?

Clint: ah yes!

He chuckled at the screen and chucked his phone to the side while looking up to his daughter on the bed above him, going to tell her they approved before stopping and smiling to himself as he caught sight of her peaceful, sleeping form.

Without waking her up, he got off the mattress and tucked in the blankets, quietly laughing as he retrieved the earbuds she had borrowed in the diner from her pocket. “Night munchkin”

Bucky groaned as the ringing of his phone awoke him, the technology next to his ear from when he had fallen asleep sat up. “Wha’?”

It was so early in the morning that he didn’t even have the energy to think of a proper sentence, never mind say one.

Steve: hey guys make sure your ready, it starts an hour after school

Clint: Steve. School. Finishes. At. 6. Pm. What. Tf. Do. You. Mean. It. Starts. In. An. hour. After.

Nat: we thought you could do with a late start

Tony: fuck you Romanoff

Clint: ten bucks says she’s smirking rn

Buck: ughhh

Bruce: I feel exactly the same way

Buck: no you don’t. I spent up until 6 am doing that English essay I forgot about

Tony: oof

Bucky: I will physically be running on caffeine this morning so be ready

He took a look around the messy room before deciding he would clean it another day and raised himself onto his feet before making sure Riley was still on the single bed asleep. He made his way to the tiny kitchen that held a mini-fridge, microwave, kettle and an oven with two counters on one side to make himself a cup of coffee that he was depending on if he had to spend an hour of his day running around in sweaty gear and a fake gun while making sure his daughter didn’t run away to get some sort of snack.

“Fuck” he mumbled as the loud whirring of the kettle started, sure to wake Riley up. “I’m tired” he heard a voice groan behind him, making the man whirl around, instantly making eye contact with his daughter. Sighing out of relief and returning back to the drink he was previously making. “So am I doll, yet you can’t have coffee”

He made her go get dressed and brush her teeth while he had a mental breakdown over what he was going to do about the paper he didn’t manage to finish before he fell asleep last night.

“Dad,” Bucky looked up to find Riley once again dressed in a pair of Joggers and a baggy T-shirt that she’d dragged out of the very few clean clothes in her draw “someone’s messaging your laptop”

She struggled to hold up the open device that showed multiple emails from one of his professors questioning his performance in class for the recent weeks. He inwardly cursed and took the laptop from her to begin emailing her back, choosing to ignore the insults she had thrown at him and his daughter in the middle of it.

“She is so full of-“ he stopped halfway through the sentence, noticing that Riley was sat next to him, quietly playing a YouTube video on his phone. “Whatcha watching Ri’?” He asked, his attention still focusing on trying to be professional in the email back. “c- c-“ she struggled to pronounce the word so she passed it to him.

“Commentary channels?” The man asked with a laugh, thinking about how most parents wouldn’t even let their 4 child near a video like that but yet again he wasn’t like most parents. He was 20 and had to do this alone.

“Oh yeah”

“Come on munchkin, we gotta get to first period before we’re late” he told her and grabbed his backpack to quickly shove his college things in before glancing at the digital clock on his phone and scooping Riley up so they could get there quicker.

Halfway through the panicked running across campus, the small girl decided she needed a nap and fell asleep against his shoulder, making Natalia laugh as they passed.

As soon as he arrived in the classroom he knew it was a bad idea when 11 pair of eyes fell to his, heavily panting and holding an asleep 4-year-old.

“Sir he’s late” a girl, younger than him moaned to the teacher who was now shrugging his shoulders “I don’t care”

“But professor, why’d he bring the baby?”

Bucky had enough of everyone staring at him, he readjusted the bag on his back before making his way to the back of the class, sitting in an empty seat in between Sam and Tony and placed Riley on his lap.

“That’s a good question Jaimee, Barnes?”

“Couldn’t find anyone to look after her professor” he mumbled in response, making sure to be loud enough to hear. “No babysitter?”

“Can’t afford it sir”

He didn’t once make eye contact with anyone in the room, instead putting his attention on the books that he was bringing out of his bag. “You alright man?” Tony whispered across the desk and flicked a pen at him, “Oi” Bucky hissed as the metal came in contact with the side of his head making Sam laugh loudly at him.

“Dad,” a mumble was heard quietly, making the older man look at his daughter, eyes that were previously closed were now looking up at his wide with pleading “I’m hungry”

If he was anywhere else in the world he would have sworn loudly, but right now he was in a class with 10 other students and his daughter. “Okay baby, but you're gonna have to wait for a while, we’re in my class but I’ll get you something after okay?”

She nodded and rested her hair back against his chest, making him smile slightly as he went back to taking notes of the class. “I’ve got skittles,” Sam held out the family-sized packet of sugary sweets making Riley do grabby hands towards it. Without asking Sam gave her it, earning a goofy smile from the girl. “Thank you dude but she’s literally gonna get the biggest sugar rush possible now”

“Aha, can’t wait to see that”

By halfway through the period Riley was already rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet, on the spot next to Bucky’s chair, his hand holding hers to make sure she didn’t run up to the front and distract everyone. “Dad, are you going to work tonight?”

“Yeah munchkin, not for long though, you can stay with Stevie. How about that?”

“Yeah, m’kay”

Suddenly the professor spoke up, directing his attention to Bucky “Barnes, the symbol Sb stands for stibium or stibnite. What is the modern name of this element?”

“That doesn’t sound like English dad” Riley loudly whispered to him, making the class laugh, “and what do you think the answer is?”

The girl pondered for a second and looked at her dad with seriousness drawn upon her features “...tell me,”

“Laser in the house!” Clint exclaimed in excitement once everyone had found their way to the front of campus where they’d agreed to meet.

“I like lasers,” Riley gushed while smiling brightly making most of the young adults chuckle, Loki however, did not. “Why did you have to bring me?” The man grumbled, sending a death glare towards his brother.

“Why are you dressed like that?”

“Riley no-“

“Did you go through childhood trauma to endure this?”

“Ri’ you can’t ask-“

“Why is there a child?” Loki asked as if he had only just noticed she was there. “She is Barnes’ daughter brother” Thor said and gently patted her head, making her scowl.

“You have a daughter?”

“I’ve had her for 4 years dude”

“Oh”

Steve grabbed his phone from his pocket and glanced at the time “guys we’ve gotta be there in half an hour we better get goin’”

“Alright Rogers, you really do like to keep track of time don’t you?” Tony asked and rolled his eyes making Nat nudge him in the ribs. “Tony, I’m not that old”

“You're 21, everyone else is 20 punk” Bucky teased him but stopped when he sent him a death glare. “Erm, I’m not 20.” The young girl pointed out while everyone else started making their way to the entertainment place. “Smart girl Ri’”

“Wait, do we need to decide the teams?” Bruce asked everyone once Bucky and Riley had caught up with the rest. “Ooooh,” Clint exclaimed with wide eyes “dibs on Natasha! She’s got good aim.”

“I’m gonna stick with you. Power team” Bucky whispered down to the stupidly smiling girl as she nodded furiously. By the time everyone had chosen their teammates and managed to agree, the group had arrived. “This’ll be great” Bruce sighed once they’d caught sight of the room of light-up vests with attached laser guns.

“Rules,” a middle-aged man who looked like he’d given up on life, walked into the room with a clipboard in hand “No Running, No Physical Contact, Hold Laser with Both Hands, No Climbing, Players must be careful when manoeuvring around interior arena walls, Please let us know if any of your guests suffer from the following: Asthma, epilepsy or suffer from seizures caused by fog or strobe lights.”

Everyone was quiet for a second before Steve quietly spoke up with a blush “I have asthma, sir.”

The worker took a pause and pondered for a moment, as though this had never happened in his whole 68 years of working there, “just… don’t start a fire alright?”

They all nodded in agreement, just happy that he’d been let in, and began to enter the massive room where the game was about to take place. “Right, so, let’s not rugby tackle people like you did last time,” Steve said and mostly directed it to Thor who smiled sheepishly “cause- err, there’s a kid, yeah, Riley, that’s it”

Bucky chuckled and picked up the fake laser gun as the lights began to darken, “let’s get this party started”

As soon as the words left his mouth, chaos ensured, young adults setting off running to find a place to set-up camp. As he wanted to be fast, Bucky quickly picked up Riley and began to run towards a pillar so he could hide behind it, so he’s able to get a good view of people.

“How does it work?” Riley whispered from the spot of her back pressed against his chest so she could also see and indicated towards the gun. “Gotta put your finger on the trigger” he instructed and took ahold of her index finger and brought it over to the weapon, placing the rest of her hand on the handle while her other one held the underneath of the top part, trying not to drop it.

The whole room was silent for a good 5 minutes before Bucky decided to make a move, taking hold of the collar of her jacket to gently pull her up with him. Not holding Riley’s hand as she would have ended up dropping the laser gun if she didn’t have two hands on it.

The two of them scouted out the place trying to be quiet so they didn’t get caught. Suddenly, making them jump, a loud zapping sounded in the distance, indicating that someone had found an enemy. He began to run away from the sound, after making sure his daughter was following and attempting to find somewhere to hide again but this time he didn’t find a deserted place.

“Aha!” Nat yelled and jumped out from behind a pillar while aiming the laser at Bucky’s chest. His panicked yelling and screaming filled the air as he made a run for it, completely forgetting about his teammate left behind and the rule “no running”. Suddenly, before he could brace himself his body went flying, his foot getting stuck on a stray shoe that belonged to Thor. At the same time Steve had jumped out, meaning to get the man in the chest, but instead Bucky had landed on him, using him to muffle the landing, earning an “ow man...” in return.

Bucky wanted to move, he really did, but he just couldn’t. He was in a trance, his and Steve’s baby blue eyes made eye contact, without knowing what he was doing, Steve’s body involuntarily leant up: closer to the younger man. His lips never looked more inviting, but all of a sudden a yell broke out in the room.

“Dad! Help! Nat nearly got me!”

The father scrambled up off the floor, his mind going a million miles an hour about what just happened and why it was wrong. He was his best friend. He should only see him as a friend.

Without meaning to, he ran away from him, not bothering to even spare Steve a second glance in search of his daughter, who was now cowered in one of the room's corners, trying not to get shot. Bucky chuckled slightly at the tactic and crossed the room, luckily not being noticed by Tony and Nat who were having a shoot off at each other from their opposite ends in the room.

“Nat nearly got you Ri’?”

“M’ yeah and you weren’t there.”

Guilt coursed through the mans veins as he remembered that he’d left her, but before his mind could go wondering to the events after it, he stopped himself, “sorry munchkin”

“Is’ okay, just don’t do it again dad”

He silently laughed at the sincerity in her voice and grabbed her hand to lead her away from the battle scene so they could get somebody else in the laser tag game. In quiet discussions they settled on Bruce, the one who was most likely to not be paying attention, and if he was it would still be easy to take aim without him seeing.

“Come on Ri, we got this.”

@donutloverxo @xolovegrace @rooskaya-yelena @deephideoutmilkshake @kidney9-9 @marvel-ous-hobbit @snarky--starky @rae-is-typing @stargazingfangirl18 @canadianhufflepuffavenger @herecomesthewriterwitch @every-marveler-ever

#bucky x oc!daughter #bucky x oc #bucky x daughter #Avengers college AU #college au #bucky barnes x daughter #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky oneshot #bucky barnes x oc

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imaginepirates · 5 years

Text

Norri x Pregnant! Reader.

I am unmotivated and very sorry. This is for @elenawrit, now that I've gotten around to it. It's one where the reader is having a hard time telling James that they're pregnant. Sorry again for awful formatting; I can only use mobile rn.

2100 words

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had known for a week. The first morning spent kneeling over the chamber pot had been an awful one; you’d been afraid that you were sick. The third morning, your brain began to make sense of things. You should’ve seen it coming, being a married woman, and yet you had been utterly taken by surprise.

Your husband didn’t know. James was off too early in the mornings to catch you retching in the bathroom, and he often came home after you’d fallen asleep waiting for him. He was worked harder than any man you knew. There had been more frequent pirate sightings in the last weeks, and the navy was taking every precaution. You hoped that James would be promoted for his extra hours. He worked hard, and came home worn out each night.

What you wouldn’t give for him to have some time off. With the state of things, it wasn’t likely, but you desperately needed time to talk to him. With each passing day, you grew weary with keeping secrets from him. He needed to know of your pregnancy, but you feared that you’d never find the right time to tell him.

With James constantly away, you went to your friend Elizabeth. She hadn’t married yet, and she had little knowledge when it came to children, but her company was sure to bring you some peace of mind. It always had, in the past, when you were afraid of this or that. You had been thick as thieves for most of your young lives, and she was the one you went to when you fell in love with James.

Each time you found yourself at the sprawling estate, you looked up to the house sitting among the gardens. It was a grand place, to be sure; like a palace among the vibrant reds, yellows, and greens. Elizabeth reminded you of a princess, too. She was composed and put together, and there was nothing she couldn’t do with effortless grace. You’d envied her in your younger years, but she had always claimed you were the smarter of the pair, and many seemed to agree.

It was one of the things you loved about James. He wasn’t deterred by intelligent conversation with a woman. Men tended to frown upon your interests in the studies of history and mathematics. James was different. He’d always indulged you, and lacking the classical education of the lords around him, he’d articulated his interest in what you could teach him. The navy didn’t take time to teach history, though James was perfectly proficient in sums and beyond. He would often talk of triangulating a ship’s location. Once, he’d actually taught you how to do it, and it was one of the moments you blamed for loving him.

Standing under the balcony and before the great doors of the Swann estate once again, memories melted from your mind. There was only apprehension left in you. Elizabeth could surely comfort you, but when you went back home, would worries worm their way back into your mind? Until you could speak to your husband of your condition, there would be no peace for you.

The footman let you in and directed you up the stairs. Half way up, Elizabeth came out to meet you. She leaned over the bannister and called out to you. “Y/N! How are you?” She grabbed your hand, tucking your arm in hers as she led you back to her bedroom.

“Sick with worry as usual. I’m afraid I’ll never see James’ face again with all the work he’s doing. Lord, I’ll be showing before I can even tell him!” You placed a hand on your stomach.

“The navy can’t keep him busy forever.”

“I fear they will.”

“You should write to his superiors. They would understand.”

“I’m not sure they would.” You didn’t want to voice it, but the admiral in charge wasn’t a kind man, and he was the last person on earth you wanted to write to. Likely he’d burn the letter before opening it. “It’s lonely without him.”

Elizabeth held you by the shoulders. “I know. Hopefully, the pirate problem will be solved quickly.”

“Oh Liz, what if they send him away? I can’t bear the thought of him out on some ship fighting when I’m with his child. He’d return to find me pregnant, if he returned at all.” Something about your condition made you worry more about your husband. In all the years he’d served, nothing had happened to him. He was good at his job; it was doubtful that anything would befall him.

Elizabeth laid a hand on your arm. You’d gone through it all before. For a while, the two of you sat in silence. You felt awful for putting your worries on your friend. Hopefully, you could return the gesture someday.

“What should I name the child?” You tried to change the topic to something happier.

“That’s your decision. And James’.”

“What would you name your children?”

“I haven’t particularly thought of it. I think, if it were to be a girl, I’d name them after my mother.”

“I think I’d name her Charlotte,” you said. “I wouldn’t know what to name a son. I think I’d leave it up to James.”

“Would he name the child after his father?”

“I doubt it.” James hated talking about his father. Every word seemed a bad memory.

You left Elizabeth’s estate feeling much better. Your house still felt a little empty when you returned, but you did your best to ignore it. You curled up in a chair with your book, sometimes looking up to watch the breeze blow through the flowers. You dozed off, and that was how James found you when he returned home.

You vaguely felt hands lifting you from the chair. Bleary, you woke tucked against James’ chest. You shifted in his arms just enough for him to know you were awake, and smiled down at you. You kissed his jaw, and he set you down on the bed. Looking through the curtains, you watched the sun setting.

“You’re home earlier than usual,” you said with some confusion.

James’ expression soured. “It would seem that I have business to attend to on the open waters.”

You lifted yourself to a sitting position, a frown forming on your face. “How soon?”

“Two days,” James said miserably.

“Two days?” You wrapped your arms around him. He was just as sad as you were. “I can’t believe it. They’ve never given you such short notice before.”

“Nobody’s happy. I’m sorry, Y/N.” He let his face fall into his hands a moment. When he straightened back up, he said, “It is what it is.”

“But you’re all so tired! It’ll put you all in danger is what it’ll do. You boys don’t have the energy you need to fight. You’ve been worked to the bone these past few weeks; I don’t think any of you have it in you to sail.”

“I’ve been tired before.” The look on his face spoke his displeasure. He didn’t want to go.

You sighed. “At least come to bed with me. You need some sleep. Tell me, have they given you leave tomorrow before the voyage?” A little fluttering in your chest began. You would have to tell him on the morrow; you couldn’t put it off any longer.

“I do.” He sounded a bit relieved. “I might have to go in a short while in the afternoon, though, to supervise provision loading. I am the captain, after all.”

“Of course.”

James didn’t even try to hide how tired he was. You combed your fingers through his hair and kissed his face, eventually settling down with your head on his chest. He toyed with the ends of your hair. He was stiff; he was always stiff when he had to leave. It reminded you both how lucky you were.

You didn’t remember falling asleep, but you awoke still curled against him. He snored gently, and you watched him for a while before calling a servant to get breakfast. You ate with the windows open, a fresh breeze carrying the sounds of singing birds and thrumming cicadas. The tropics were abuzz with noise.

You spent the day relaxing, just the two of you. You discussed the latest news from London and the East India Company’s newest trade deals. It seemed that they had finally established a firm hold on some land in Africa, and that they were trying to get certain types of tea from China. Just like the British, you thought, to be so invested in new types of tea.

It was a pleasant day, but a worm crawled through your stomach. You still hadn’t told him. You didn’t know why it was so hard, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. You didn’t want to worry him more than he already was.

The sun set too soon. James was just putting something in his office when you slipped into bed. Anxiety grasped at your chest. When he came into the room, he sat on the bed and kissed you. He was a sweet, gentle man, and his affections were always pure.

Soon enough, his kisses had deepened, and he moved to unbutton his waistcoat. It had been a long time since you’d last lain with him. He hardly ever came home before you were asleep.

You gasped when he sucked at the skin on your neck. “I hope you don’t mind,” he whispered.

“I suppose I won’t be going out in public tomorrow,” you replied.

He hummed. “I should buy you more dresses with high collars.” He smirked, which was maddeningly attractive, and something he hardly ever did.

You feigned shock. “Why, you scandal!”

He chuckled, only to go back to kissing you. You curled your fingers into his hair, and he took it as a sign to begin unlacing your bodice.

“James.” Your voice was soft, and you weren’t sure he’d heard you. “James.”

He looked up. The worry must have been evident on your face, as he cupped your check with a hand. “Yes?”

“Can we talk?” You felt rather small and frightened, even though you shouldn’t have.

“Of course.” His brows knit together. He shifted his weight, coming to sit beside you.

You took a breath before continuing. “I don’t mean to worry you, and I know this is really the wrong time to tell you...” His face had grown only more concerned. You grabbed his hand, running your fingers gently over his knuckles. “I-” you faltered. “I’m with child.”

James’ mouth formed a small ‘o’, clearly taken aback. He turned away for a moment, processing the information. Watching him, a smile began to creep over his face, and he turned beaming towards you. He grabbed your face with both hands and kissed you excitedly. You laughed against his mouth, and you broke away smiling. It felt good to have gotten the news off your chest.

His smile faded and he began to look concerned again. “Tomorrow... I don’t like to leave you here alone.”

“Don’t worry too much about me. It’s you I’m worried about. I want you to come back to me.”

“I always have.”

You stared at each other a long time before falling into a fitful sleep. You knew that when you woke, you would have to say goodbye.

James left. He returned a month later, and you met him at the docks. People smiled at you, noting the swell in your stomach. You were showing, and it had become the talk of town. Waiting at the docks was torture. Even when the ship had been tied down, and the gangplank laid, the knot in your stomach wouldn’t unravel. It was only when James stepped off deck that you relaxed.

You could tell he was trying to keep his professionalism about him, but he was practically jogging over to where you stood. He had you in his arms in an instant, and his face was buried against your neck. It seemed like hours before he let you go, though you knew it had only been a few minutes. He pressed a kiss to your lips, and then, dropping to a knee, kissed your stomach. By the time he looked back up at you, there were tears in his eyes.

He stood again, taking your hands in his. “The admiral has been generous.” He planted a kiss on your nose. “It seems I have a month off to care for my wife. I’m rather looking forward to it.”

You gasped in delight. You hadn’t expected such a thing, and were elated. He smiled down at you, and you heard a few congratulations from other officers.

You were just glad to have him home.

#pirates of the caribbean #potc #pirates #pirate #james norrington #commodore norrington #norrington #drabble #request #writing

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ncityislove · 5 years

Text

The Jury is Out Ch. 2

➳Pairing: Renjun x Reader x Jeno (ft a few other Dreamies)

➳Genre: fluff/ angst

➳Word Count: 7K

➳ Warnings: under age drinking, mentions of infidelity

Previous Chapter Third Chapter Next Chapter

You were used to working with the guy you despise most in the world on a day to day basis but one day all that changes when you have to work together after school for two weeks. Was it crazy to want to be friends with your enemy? Was it possible to be something...more?

A/N: Sorry about the slow uploads. I’m trying to work on my motivation to write rn :/ Hopefully the next part will be up soon!

***STORY HAS BEEN RE-EDITED

The halls are cramped and chilly as you squeeze in between groups of people obnoxiously standing in the center of the walkway. Today is finally Friday, meaning you could rest at home for the next two days. Heaven knows you needed it given how shitty your week has been. You were incredibly exhausted and you couldn't figure out why, considering you overslept literally every morning. Not to mention, you were still pissed at Renjun for leaving you to work on the booth by yourself. To be frank, you just weren't in the mood today.

You trudge through the open door of your first period and sit in your seat, readjusting your headband. Renjun makes an appearance shortly afterwards, his oversized backpack brushing the doorframe—seriously, what a nerd—and you promptly look down at your phone, not wanting to give him any attention. If he thought you were going to let this one go he was dead wrong.

Class starts and Mrs. Brookes walks in with an arm full of papers. "Good morning, everyone! It's quiz time!!"

You jolt awake at that, the quiz seeming to have completely slipped your mind. You even forgot to study last night, falling asleep before you got the chance to start on the rest of your homework. You rub your tired eyes, trying to remember all the materials you learned in the past week but it was so hard to function at such an early hour.

You groan, laying your head down on the table just as Renjun approaches and places a scantron on the top of your head. You sit up in your chair, the paper sliding off onto the black surface in front of you, to find Renjun studying you with an odd look on his face. Maybe he was still feeling queasy from the lab yesterday?

"Were you...did you start on the booth yesterday?"

You roll your eyes to sky, picking up your pencil to fill out your name. Renjun stands there for a moment until he realizes he won’t be getting an answer and moves on to the next table. You feel a small sense of victory. Could that have been remorse that you'd seen on his face? You shake your head, immediately dismissing the thought. Impossible.

Ha, as if he was capable of such an emotion!

Well, whatever it was, it was obvious he wasn't proud of his actions yesterday. He looked like a dog with his tail tucked between his legs, his head hanging low as he passed out papers to the students. He really needed to get that temper of his in check.

Mrs. Brookes passes out the quizzes shortly after Renjun finishes passing out scantrons and starts a timer. You quickly get to work, thoroughly mulling over the questions and answers. Not even five minutes into testing, Renjun stands up to turn in his quiz. Of course, he would be the first one to finish. He always was. You fight the urge to roll your eyes and finish up the last two questions, turning in your paper next.

Sitting back down in your chair, you put your earbuds in, searching for a song to pass the time when you remember your father's orders for you and Sadie to spend more time together. Sadie had been driving you everywhere since she returned, even when it was within walking distance, she insisted.

You [9:32 AM]: are you picking me up today?

You switch back to your music playlist, settling on the first song you saw when your phone buzzed in your hand.

Sadie [9:33 AM]: yep! we're having a sisters night btw and before you ask no you can't get out of it ;)

Your head falls into your hands as you scream internally. Sadie was driving you bonkers from all this 'sister bonding' she's been forcing you into.

Haven’s there again at lunch, this time though, there was a long line of people waiting to sign up for the blood drive. You pause, wondering where everyone was when you started sign-ups.

Haven's hair bobs back and forth in her loose top-knot as she nods in conversation with some girl having trouble understanding the process of the blood drive.

"They don't put you to sleep when they take the blood?" the girl asks with a panicked expression.

"No, that's not how blood drives work..."Haven replies, her lips in a thin line.

"If I ask them to, do you think they will?"

Haven rolls her eyes so far back you could only see the whites of her eyeballs. "No. Are you gonna sign-up or not?"

The poor girl looks like she was gonna piss her pants right then and there. She shakes her head no and briskly walks away.

"Next!" Haven shouts.

You sit down in the chair next to Haven and she glances at you, giving you a once-over.

"Cute bracelet. Where'd you get it?"

"Thanks, it was a gift from my sister. I'm not sure where she got it," you reply, fumbling with the charms.

Sadie had bought you the bracelet two Christmases ago and you'd haven’t taken it off since. Not for any reason, in particular, you just thought it looked nice with how plain your uniform was.

After the last person scurries off to their friends, you and Haven start digging in to your lunches.

"So..., "Haven begins. "are you and Renjun together?"

It takes a few seconds for her question to register in your brain and then you’re nearly choke on your PB&J sandwich, dramatically coughing for dear life.

"Together? As in dating??"

You couldn't even hide how horrified you were by the question. The audacity of her to ask such a heinous question was unsettling. Didn't everyone know you hated each other? Even the teachers knew about your rivalry.

"Not even if he was the last person on Earth," you defend. "Besides, Renjun hates my guts."

"I see," she nods. "But how do you feel about him?"

You stop mid-chew. "Huh?"

"The way you guys talk to each other, I just assumed there was some sort of history there I didn't know about. I mean, he's cute, yeah sure, anyone with eyes can see that but he's also really smart and he's super sweet when he wants to be."

Sweet my ass—

"Hey!" Renjun calls out as he approaches from the side.

At this rate, he was going to make a daily habit of stopping by your table at lunch.

Haven gives you a suspicious glare before she busies herself by cutting up her fruits with the dull ends of her plastic fork.

"Hey," he repeats once he was closer to the table. "Are we still meeting after school?"

You almost said yes before you remembered you were still mad at him for ditching you yesterday. You give him a stormy look and pull out your phone, making a point that you were ignoring him.

"I know you're giving me the cold shoulder and what not—and I get it. I really do. But could you just meet me on the field so we can get this done? That's all I ask."

And with that, he walks away.

"Hey, Renjun!" Haven yells after him. He glances over his shoulder but keeps walking.

That was weird.

"What exactly happened between you two?" you ask.

Haven chews on her bottom lip before shaking her head. "It's complicated."

Complicated. What did that even mean? Aren't all breakups complicated? Why did you care anyway, it's not like it's any of your business.

Right.

It wasn't any of your business so why did you ask that? It was odd enough that you were curious about Renjun's past relationships but now it was going to seem like you were actually interested in him. And let’s face it, hell would freeze over before that would ever happen.

After the final bell rings, you make your way to the track field. You debated on whether or not you should even show up but you weren't as douche-ey as Renjun.

Your feet pad down the concrete stairs, trotting across the damp grass. You spot the familiar head of dark hair in the center of the field as you near the booth. Renjun had already begun without you, taping the flags on each side of the booth. His uniform jacket was folded neatly on top of his bag on the ground and you drop yours down next to his. Renjun is too immersed in getting the tape to hold the flags to notice your arrival. Despite the cold, there’s a light sheen of sweat that coats his honey bronze skin, his fringe starting to stick to his forehead.

You clear your throat loudly and Renjun peeks over his shoulder.

"Oh, you came," Renjun let out a sigh of relief.

"Yeah, well, I'm not you so..." you trail off.

"Right," his voice is low. "Look, about yesterday...I shouldn't have just left you like that."

He pauses to wipe the sweat at his temples with the back of his hand. "I overreacted and I'm sorry. Things have been...off lately."

You’re silent for a moment, not sure of what to say. It wasn't like Renjun to show any real emotion towards you.

You approach him, adjusting the flag properly so the tape wouldn't peel off from the weight.

"You've been apologizing a lot lately."

The corners of Renjun's lips curve upwards. "I guess I have."

It was silent as he begins to nail a wooden board across the table legs.

You watch him work as you mindlessly painted a plank of wood for the top of the booth. His brow is creased as he carefully handles the hammer and nail.

"How'd you do on the quiz?" he asks, disturbing the stillness in the air.

"It was pretty easy," you muse. "I probably got an A."

"You always get an A, what do you mean 'probably'?" he chuckles.

A smile creeps on your face. "I'm just being modest here—of course I got an A!"

"When are you ever modest?" Renjun retorts, a teasing smile playing on his lips. And you realize for the first time, it's a smile that was meant in a friendly way.

"I'm more modest than you could ever be."

Renjun moves on to the next board, picking up a new nail. "Maybe. That's the only thing you do better than me, though."

You scoff. You knew it was meant to be a joke but you couldn't help but feel irritated by how true it was.

"I will admit that you are better than me at a lot of things. If modesty is all I have on you, I'll take what I can get."

Renjun chuckles. "I was joking! There's tons of stuff you can do better than I ever could."

"Oh yeah? Like what?" you ask.

"If you're fishing for compliments, I'm not falling for that," he shakes his head with a laugh.

"I'm not asking for compliments, I'm serious. You're always one step in front of me, Renjun. No matter how you look at it, you're perfect."

Renjun stops hammering to look at you. "Was that supposed to be a joke? I don't know if you've noticed, but the reason why I have to work so hard to keep my spot at the top is you. You keep me on track because I know if I slack off for even a sliver of a moment, you'll take it away from me. I'm not perfect."

You stare at him for a beat, an odd feeling stirring in your chest.

"No one's better than anyone, alright? We're equals," he finishes, re-focusing on his task again.

His voice is cool and smooth like marble and for the first time you hear a gentle tone in his words. The gleam in his eye showed you a more sincere side of himself you never knew existed and it made your heart pick-up.

"Right, of course," you say, forcing a laugh.

The two of you continue to have small talk as you work. Him, always asking the questions and you, trying to answer them as politely as possible. After a while, the atmosphere begins to feel less forced and you’re able to talk to him freely without feeling the painful drag of awkwardness.

When the sun begins to paint the sky red, you both decide that was enough work for the day. You agree to meet on Monday again after school.

You walk together to the parking lot mostly in silence. When Renjun offers to walk you to your sister's car you decline immediately, not wanting Sadie anywhere near him. You wave to him as you got into the passenger's side of Sadie's Audi.

"See 'ya later!" he shouts before he hops into a black truck across the lot.

"Who's that? He's cute," Sadie says, craning her neck to watch him get into the car.

You buckle your seatbelt. "Not really. That's just my lab partner from anatomy."

"Are you kidding me? If I was your age I'd be all over that. And single of course."

"I don't know, I guess he is. I haven't really thought about him that way before."

Sadie drives out of the parking lot, looking at you as if you had two heads. "You guess? We really need to sort out your taste in men."

You hum, waving her comment off and thankfully she doesn't pester you about it for the rest of the way home.

"Let's make cookies!" Sadie suggests, tossing her keys in the dish on the table.

You scowl. "You know I can't cook."

"I'll give you the easy stuff to do," she says, shuffling into the kitchen.

You press your lips together, following her to your doom. Baking cookies wasn't something you ever wanted to do in your lifetime but here you were in the kitchen with Sadie doing something you didn't want to do, yet again.

"I'll make the batter and then you can mix it with this spoon here, see?" she holds up a large wooden spoon.

You nod wordlessly, slumping over the wooden counter while she washes her hands.

You watch Sadie gather all the ingredients from around the kitchen and set them out around a ginormous bowl from the cupboard you didn't know existed until now.

"Since mom and dad aren't home yet, I can finally tell you about Jodie!" Sadie claps her hands excitedly.

You mime gagging behind her back before slumping back over the counter.

"Oh god, where do I even begin," she pauses in deep thought. "Oh! We met at orientation, as you know. But what I didn't tell you is how he asked me out."

"And how'd he do that?" you try to hide the boredom in your voice.

"He brought a big basket of those muffins I like from the dining hall—well technically he stole them but anyways—he brought them to my dorm and asked me to dinner at this underground restaurant and, ugh, it was so romantic! It had all these twinkly lights and a live band!"

"That does sound nice. Except for the stealing part. I don't find illegal stuff romantic."

"Of course you wouldn't, but anyway, we've been together ever since. We made two years last month," Sadie smiled at her bowl of mush ingredients.

"Wow, I hadn't even realized it's been that long," you reply, toying with the wooden spoon.

"Yeah," she sighs. "Mom and dad met him a couple of days before our anniversary but they don't know everything that happened so when I tell you this, you have to promise me you won't say anything, okay?"

You perk up at the seriousness of her tone. "Yeah, of course."

Sadie looks hesitant before she speaks. "After about a year into our relationship, Jodie...he cheated on me with some girl in his psych class."

"He what??!" you jump up, nearly knocking over the ingredients Sadie had set up so neatly.

Who in their right mind would ever cheat on someone as amazing as Sadie? Everyone loved Sadie. And you meant everyone. If someone didn't like her it was because they were jealous and even then they secretly liked her! It just didn't make sense. No matter which you put it, you can’t think of a single reason why he would think that was a good idea or even be tempted to cheat with another woman. He was more foolish than you ever anticipated.

"And what happened? You're still with him?"

Sadie looks ashamed as she avoids your gaze. "We broke up for about a month after it happened. But yes, we're still together."

You grab her arm, making her look at you. "Why would you get back together with someone who cheated on you with some random girl?"

"You wouldn't understand, __, you're still young. You've never even had a boyfriend before. It's not that simple."

You frown, confused and albeit a little angry. Isn't it common sense to break up after your partner had an affair? Sadie was everyone's dream girl—she was sweet, loving, beautiful, knew how to cook and was too forgiving for her own good. The fact that she decided to stay with some loser who couldn't see that was infuriating. You didn't like Jodie before but now you actually had a valid reason.

"Please don't be mad, __," Sadie pleads as if reading your mind. "Love is...complicated."

Complicated. There's that word again.

Sadie tucked her hair behind her ears, searching for the right words. "Just because he hurt me, doesn't mean I don't love him anymore. I can't just turn off my feelings for him whenever I want. Those feelings don't go away so easily and you'll see that for yourself one day,"

"I'd rather not," you huff, crossing your arms.

Sadie drags your body to the bowl now that she was done measuring the needed materials.

"Not all relationships turn out like mine. Maybe you'll have better luck than me," she gives you a small smile.

You stir the mixture clumsily, as you give her an pointed look. "Yeah right, have you met me?"

"Oh hush," she slaps your arm. "Enough about me. What about this lab partner of yours?"

You grimace. "I promise you nothing's going on there. His friend Jeno, however, is much more interesting."

Sadie holds the bowl steady for you as your stirring grows sloppier. "Oh, all the Jenos I've met are always crazy hot."

"His looks don't disappoint, believe me. He's got the whole school wrapped around his finger. He's really smart too."

"I knew he'd be smart if you were interested in him. Does he play a sport?"

"Soccer."

"That's even hotter," Sadie replies, taking the bowl from you and forming a small ball with the dough. "Can you grab that big pan and put a baking sheet over it for me?"

You follow her instructions and she thanks you, placing a ball on the pan.

"What's crazy is, he's barely even spoken to me prior to this week but he suddenly asked me to go to his party tonight."

"Well, you're going, right?" she pauses to turn on the oven.

"Of course not," you answer in an incredulous tone.

"Why not?!" Sadie exclaims. "You have to go!"

"I don't do parties and I don't do boys, you know that," you resume back to your position over the counter.

"Right, those lame rules you made when you were like ten. Don't you think they're a little ridiculous? You can still have a life and be successful, you know."

You pursed your lips. "I like my rules."

"You like them because they keep you in your comfort zone. You gotta go, honey. You're gonna regret it if you don't. And you don't have to date Jeno. Just try to get to know him—ignore him all night for all I care—just go and have some fun for once!"

"I don't think—"

"Nope! You don't have a choice, you're going!" she says cutting you off.

"Put the cookies in the oven while I get everything ready!" Sadie shouts as she runs off to her old room in haste.

You throw your head back, throwing a silent tantrum before putting the cookies in the oven.

When you meet Sadie in her room, her entire contents of her suitcase were thrown out onto the floor with a giant case of makeup open by the mirror. You immediately walked back out yelling out a quick and stern 'no!'

"Wait! Come on, it'll be fun!" she runs after you, her arms spilling over with dresses you'd rather die than to put on your body.

Sadie manages to coax you out of your room and back into hers but only after you made her promise to not do anything too crazy.

You change out of your uniform and into a pair of jeans and one of Sadie's satin blouses. You already flat-out refused to wear her dress so when you rejected the idea of wearing any type of heels, she settled for her black booties. You’re lucky you wear the same size in everything otherwise you’d end up showing up in that old church dress your mom bought you four years ago before you all stopped going. There was never a need to get nice-looking clothes because you never went anywhere.

You find yourself sitting on the floor in between your sister's legs as she curls your hair. You have major difficulty remaining still for long periods of time and Sadie burned you a few times because of it. When she’s content with your hair she attempts to do your makeup but your reject anything more than mascara and lipgloss, knowing what kind of harmful chemicals it was all made of.

You allow her to do your eyebrows solely because of the sad look in her eye when you said you didn't want to. It hurt like hell and you think you might regretted it a little but the outcome wasn't too shabby, although you'd never admit that to Sadie.

Sadie brings you a plate full of cookies as you did your mascara, giving you pointers as she munches down on a sugar cookie.

Once the torture was over, you feel like you were an entirely different person. Not in a catfish, full face of makeup kind of way but in a this girl never wears anything outside of her school uniform and pajamas kind of way. The person in the mirror looks so foreign to you and you can’t decide if it was a good or bad change but you didn't have too much time to dwell on it before Sadie was shoving you out the door.

After giving her the address from Jeno's Snapchat story, Sadie sends you a warm smile. Her nose crinkles a bit and she keeps staring at you with this motherly look in her eye.

"You look pretty. You always look pretty but you look especially pretty right now."

You're cheeks feel a tad warm as you give her an uncomfortable smile, thanking her.

Once you arrive at the address, Sadie grabs your hand and squeezes it. "Text me when you're ready for me to pick you up. Have fun okay? But be careful."

"Okay," you reply before exiting the car.

You wave to Sadie as she drives away, wishing you could call her back and beg her to take you home but it was too late for that. You came all the way here and now you had to man up and do this. But the overwhelming amount of second thoughts leave you frightened. You can’t help but wonder if Jeno's invitation to you was a joke or some sort of dare he was forced into. Even Renjun knew you didn't belong here.

You take a deep breath and walk towards the front door, letting yourself in. The music hits you like a wave, stunning you for a moment. You hadn't heard it outside the house so the overwhelming sound of the bass resonating through your bones made your heart pick up even faster than before.

The living room was packed with familiar-looking people, most of them leaned against the large walls of the room, a cup full of an unidentifiable liquid in their hands, others dancing wildly in the center of the room.

You decide to search for Jeno, not knowing what else to do. You squeeze through several clusters of people but the dimness of the room made it nearly impossible to see anyone clearly that wasn't less than five feet away, so you give up for the time being, taking an empty spot on the wall near the couch.

You unlock the screen of your phone, just about to text Sadie to come and get you when Haven strides up to you with a golden-haired boy you recognized as Jisung—one of Renjun's friends.

"What are you doing here?" she yells over the music.

You frown at her question. "You know why I'm here; you were there when Jeno invited me."

"You know Jeno?" Jisung asked, his eyes scanning you in curiosity. "I haven't seen you around before—are you new?"

Your fingernails dig into the skin of your palm. If you had a nickel for every time a student asked you that. You would think at least some people would have known you from the vast amounts of extra-curricular activities and sports you played but of course, you were just as invisible to them as you were to everyone else.

"I've been going to this school longer than you have, freshie," you fight the urge to roll your eyes at the kid.

"What's with the way you're dressed? Don't you own anything other than a lame shirt and some jeans?" Haven sneers, giving you a look of pure disgust.

You look down at your outfit, suddenly self-conscious. Was it too conservative for a party like this? Haven's mini skirt and flashy crop top made your outfit look dull in comparison. Maybe you should’ve worn one of Sadie’s dresses after all.

And here you thought bumping into Haven was going to save you from the embarrassment of hanging around the party like some loner without friends. before now, you never really cared to make friends throughout school, preferring to be alone. You had your parents and although they were annoying at times, they were more than enough company for you. You try not to allow her words to affect you but they do. Your throat tightens with sudden urge to cry but you fight it.

"Just because I'm not dressed like a whore doesn't mean it's not cute," you gruff, brushing past her.

You push through the crowd of people towards the front door only to bump into a hard chest that belonged to none other than Lee Jeno.

"Oof! I'm sorry—oh! __, you came," Jeno smiles pleasantly. "Come with me," he grabs your elbow, not waiting for a response as he leads you back to the center of the room to the twin couches.

He signals his friends to make a space for you, ushering you to sit down next to him. You’re surprised to see Renjun sitting on the other side of you, immersed in what seemed like an intense level of Tetris.

"Hey, Renjun," you greet him.

Renjun glances up from his phone, his eyes going wide, obviously surprised that you showed up.

"Umm...Renjun?" you sit back, feeling uncomfortable after a while of him not saying anything.

"Hello? Earth to Renjun?" you snap your fingers in front of his face, finally sparking something in him as he blinks once then twice.

"S-sorry, hi," he says awkwardly then resumes playing his game.

You scowl, expecting a better response. Why was he acting so strange? Just a few hours ago, he insisted on walking you to Sadie's car but now he won't say more than two words to you? Did he not want his friends to know you were getting along?

You’re silent as Jeno jokes along with his friends, a crowd gathering around the popular boy. His eyes squint into laughter whenever one of his friends says something stupid. Thankfully, he was turned in the opposite direction so you could admire the side-view of his chiseled face. You’re glad to have found Jeno when you did, or else you wouldn't have been sitting next to him now, feeling like you a part of something for once.

"Why do you look like that?" Renjun speaks and your cheeks turn rosy, hoping he didn't notice you staring at his best friend.

You attempt to look nonchalant as you answer. "Look like what?"

"I don't know. You look...weird," he says, his eyes staring straight into yours, making you feel cold.

You drew back from him, your heart feeling heavy at his statement. Did you really look so bad that two people had to tell you that to your face?

Apparently, Jeno had heard the conversation as he wraps his arm around your shoulder. "I think you look pretty," he pokes a finger in your cheek and you almost die on the spot.

You shake your head, embarrassed, and Jeno only chuckles, turning back to his friends but leaving his arm around you.

You don't say anything after that, listening to the notes of a song you’ve never heard before in favor of the conversation being held next to you. They were talking about sports, something--unless it was volleyball--that you didn't have much interest in. After a few songs, you get bored, looking to Renjun, who was still on the same level of Tetris. Feeling your gaze on him, you lock eyes for a brief moment then he looks away again.

Concerned, you nudge his elbow, "Are you okay?"

Renjun doesn't look back up at you. "I'm fine."

Obviously, he wasn't but you drop it, not wanting him to snap at you again like the other day.

Jeno tightens his arm around your neck, grabbing your attention. "You wanna dance?"

"Oh, god no," you answer quickly. "I don't dance."

Jeno tilts his head at you. "Hmm..."

You blink, waiting for him to continue.

He stands up abruptly, your eyes following him. "Come with me," he holds a hand out for you to take.

You remember your sister's warning and decide that doesn't sound like a safe thing to do. "I want to stay here."

Jeno pouts, sensing the reason behind your hesitancy. He grabs your wrist, pulling you up with strength you didn't know he had.

"I promise, I won't try anything weird," he smiles that Jeno smile at you and how could you resist?

You let him drag you away from the party, your eyes alert for anything if he tried something funny. You never fought anyone before but you decide that if it came down to it, you were prepared to, even if it was your precious Jeno.

You pass through the kitchen and dining area, where there’s a glass sliding door leading to a patio. He opens it, stepping through first and letting go of you as he held the door open for you. It was a wooden patio with a large grill and fancy table with a yard that has more than enough space for the entire party attendees to run around in. The quietness surrounds your ears as you venture out further onto the patio, noticing a pool at the end of the yard. It was the kind of backyard that everyone dreamed of as a kid.

Jeno motions with his head to follow him and you trail behind him to the lounge chairs by the pool.

"Is this more comfortable for you?" he asks crossing his legs as he lays back in his chair.

You smile, abashedly. "Yes."

Your eyes follow a group of leaves swirling around each other in the pool as you ask Jeno a question that had been on your mind since Wednesday.

"Why did you invite me to your party?" your heart pounds in your ears, remorse fueling your body at the question immediately. You wouldn't know what you'd do if he told you it was a joke. Or worse, if he suddenly confessed to you.

Jeno purses his lips, drinking from his cup, probably full of luke-warm beer. "Because I think you're hilarious. Plus you're super pretty. I always wanted to get closer to you so I thought inviting you to my party would be a good place to start."

You let out a breath, neither relieved or disappointed he didn't ask you out. But he did admit he was interested in you in a way, didn't he? You decide to ask Sadie when you get home.

"So, how's that booth coming along?"

You snort, remembering the project Renjun sucked you into doing with him. "It's nearly half-way done but it would be closer to being finished if I didn't have to start on my own."

"Yeah I heard about that," he giggles. "Go easy on him, okay? He's under a lot of stress right now."

Your eyes almost dart of their sockets. "That boy gets everything he wants. There's no way in hell he could have anything more than the occasional pimple to stress over."

Jeno snickers again. "You always crack me up," with a shake of his head he continues. "Renjun's father is really hard on him when it comes to school and he's also really disappointed in him for not being on the soccer team. The best just isn't enough for the guy, I guess."

You sigh, trying to wrap your head around the concept of Renjun having real issues. Of course, every person had their own problems it's just that you never actually thought of him as a person. He was always just an obstacle blocking you from the future you've always wanted.

"I didn't know that," you say after a while.

"No one does. He doesn't like telling people," he stops to take a gulp of beer. "Does that mean you'll be nicer to Renjun?"

"Ha!" you scoff, taking his cup and having a sip. You weren't really sure what made you do that but it was already too late, the warm beverage already making its way down your throat. It wasn't as bad as you thought it would be but it still wasn't a flavor that you particularly liked. You shrug, taking a bigger gulp of it.

"Nine times out of ten he's the one who starts it. He brings it on himself," you laugh.

Jeno's laughter chimes with yours and you enjoy each other's company for a little while longer, just staring at the moon hanging in the raven sky.

"I don't get how you can even stand being friends with him. You pick on each other all day."

Jeno sighs, kicking his feet in the air. "That's what friends do, I guess. Maybe that's just guys, though. I mean, it all comes from a good place but when it really comes down to it, we're always there for each other."

"That's nice," you say, suddenly feeling guilty for what you said about Jeno. "I wouldn't know. I don't really have friends."

Jeno raises his eyebrows at you. "Really? I thought you had a ton of friends in all those clubs your in."

"Nah, I never really connected with those people."

"Well, I'll be your friend," Jeno cheeses at you and you gush, an unmistakable blush warming your cheeks.

You nod, as you struggle to drink the last of the contents of the beer with an unwavering smile.

A stiff breeze blows by, the leaves rustling in the trees above your heads. You tuck your face into your jacket to brace yourself from the cold.

"I already broke two rules in the span of one hour," you breath, not caring your words formed aloud.

Jeno glances at you curiously, "Hmm?"

You smile to yourself. "Nothing. It’s just some stupid rules I made up when I was like ten."

"Is dancing included in those rules?"

"No, actually."

Jeno stands up with a grunt. "Would you reconsider my offer from earlier?" he asks, his hand held out to you like before.

You weren't sure if it was the now empty cup of beer or maybe you felt a change in you at that moment that you never felt before but you found yourself taking his hand and being led away to the dance floor.

The music was different than what you were used to, the beat a little too fast-paced for you but you followed what everyone else was doing around you, throwing your hands above your head and jumping until you were out of breath. Jeno guides your body closer to him until you were pressed against one another, his arm secured tightly around your waist. You throw your head back in laughter, never having thought the night would've turned out like this. Jeno’s fiery lauch chimes in with yours, his eyes squinting into slits as he twirls you around the living room. You’ve never felt so free. Your mind was always weighted by thoughts of homework and exams. Your life revolved around school and you never seen a problem with it. So many years spent cooped at home when you could’ve been experiencing this. A few more cups and you don't even have a second thought about dancing with Jeno, the two of you goofing around the living room and bouncing around wildly. You were too drunk to notice the entire room hooting and cheering you on and you were too drunk to notice Renjun's eyes glued to the two of you the entire night.

You toss your bag on the floor of the car, then plop down in the seat, Sadie already revving up the engine next to you.

She sends you an odd look once you’ve settled in. "No headband and ponytail today?"

Your hands smooth over the top of your hair instinctively. "No. I think I like my hair better down."

Sadie reaches over, pinching your cheek. "I think you look good either way."

You rub the spot Sadie grabbed, grumbling as you always did.

"One party and my little sissy's all grown up!" Sadie cries, her lips in a pout.

You face-palm yourself. "Nothing's changed. I just styled my hair little differently today, Sadie."

The car comes to a stop at a red light. "Are you sure this has nothing to do with Jeno confessing to you at the party?"

Your face turns beet red as you sputter to defend yourself. "It wasn't a confession! And I didn't have time to find my headband because I slept through my alarm. Thanks for waking me up on time, by the way, Miss I-Wake-Up-At-Four A.M-everyday!"

Sadie giggles an apology, patting your leg.

You arrive to your first period, sitting in your unassigned-assigned seat and throwing your belongings down in the seat next to you, waiting as the rest of the students poured in. The bell sounds and Mrs. Brookes comes in, stressing about the class average of the quiz you took Friday.

Your graded papers were passed back and you were delighted to see an A+ scribbled in red at the top. You look up to find Renjun and show him your score. You aced the quiz just as said you would back at the field the other day. When your eyes land on his seat, however, you find it empty. Your eyes scan the classroom but still no Renjun. Did he not come in at all? It was strange for him to be tardy–it was normally you who was always late. Was he okay? He did look a bit off the last time you saw him...

You find yourself constantly checking the door throughout the class period, expecting him to barge in with some lame excuse or maybe he had a real one for being late for all you knew but he never did.

Second and third period go by and still no sign of Renjun. You were starting to worry about the booth. You didn't want to work on it by yourself but if he wasn't going to show, shouldn't he at least message you?

You suddenly remember Jeno's words to go easy on Renjun. It was things like this that made it impossible to do just that. This was important to you and you could've sworn it was important to him too! Next time you see him, you’ll kill him! Not even Jeno could stand in the way of what you were going to do to him.

When you make it to the field later that afternoon, there’s a lot more kids than last week but, of course, still no Renjun. You puff your cheeks with air, zipping up your coat and start to paint the last part of the booth.

Not even a moment later, a kid walks over to you with a scarf covering half of his face and a coat so big he could barely move his arms.

"Hey, you're __, right?"

You put down your paintbrush. "Yeah? Who are you?"

"I'm Chenle. Renjun asked me to help you out with the booth for him."

"Oh," you blink. You were relieved you didn't have to do this on your own but you were kind of uncomfortable working with a stranger at the same time.

"Why wasn't he at school today, anyway?"

You could tell he was smiling by the rise in his cheeks. "He told me to tell you that he was sick today but I don't see a reason to lie to a stranger. He actually came late after third period."

You let a curse slip through your lips but hold in your rage, picking up the paintbrush again. There was no way he could be serious. He only missed three classes, which happened to be the only ones he shared with you.

"So, why wasn't he at lunch?"

He shrugs. "I don't know either. I just assumed he was with Jeno,"

You let out a long sigh.

Jeno wasn't at lunch either? You hadn't even noticed; you were so busy looking for Renjun. Your eyebrows furrow, giving Chenle something easy to do while you finish painting. You’re angry more than anything. You blew up his phone all day, asking where he was and if he was okay and yet, not a single response but he was at school the whole time. Why would he do that? Was he avoiding you for some reason? You didn't exactly know why but it pained you to think that. Was it stupid to think you were actually becoming friends?

Of course, you weren't friends. Renjun was just trying to make working together tolerable. How could you think that when he was being so cold to you at the party? You were still competing with each other at the end of the day. What good could possibly come out of befriending your enemy? He didn't text you back because he didn't have to. He sent someone to help you out in his place and that was all he owed you.

You knew you had no reason to be upset. Renjun didn't trick you into anything. He never said he wanted to be friends. It was your fault for mistaking his kindness for something bigger than that. But still, your eyes sting with unshed tears, your back turned away from Chenle. You weren't going to cry in front of Renjun's friend. You'd embarrassed yourself enough already.

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cami-chats · 5 years

Text

Not Rock ‘N Roll Good

A/N: A modern Sandor/Arya fic so I can dabble in their characterizations. I think it’s obvious but just in case: lots of language ahead!

Tags: AU- Modern Setting, Wrong Number, Getting Together, Time Skips, Blind Character, Blind Arya Stark, Identity Reveal, Minor Sexual Content

Sandor's phone chimed with a message, and he frowned. Anytime someone texted him, he was suspicious. He pulled it out and checked.

Unknown Number: Dude where the fuck are you?

Unknown Number: And you don't get to be mad at me for cursing at you because you're THIRTY MINUTES LATE

He didn't have plans with anyone, and certainly not with someone whose number wasn't in his phone, so he ignored it. It was a wrong number, they'd figure it out soon enough. Sandor turned back to the computer and looked over the schedule. Bronn was going on vacation-- or so he claimed, frankly Sandor thought he was a fucking liar-- and with Ygritte reducing her hours so she could make her internship, they were stretched thin.

Unknown Number: Are you going to show up?

Great, this person was being stood up, and Sandor was going to have to be the one to break the news.

Unknown Number: Ramsey?

He sighed, typing out a reply. To Unknown Number: Think the arse gave you the wrong number mate.

Unknown Number: Of fucking course he did

Unknown Number: What a gods cursed cunt

Unknown Number: I should have known better than to make a date with someone I met at a club

Unknown Number: Sorry dude but I'm pissed. I had to cancel with my study group for this dick

To Unknown Number: It's fine. Vent all you want maybe it'll distract me from this boring shit.

Unknown Number: WELL IN THAT CASE

Unknown Number: Jk

A little bubble showed up to signal they were typing again, and Sandor gave up pretending to look at the schedule. He already knew what was going to end up happening: he'd ask Gendry, Gendry would look at his schedule and have to say no, and Sandor would cover it himself.

Unknown Number: I know you don't know me, but it's not like I welcome random arse people to hit on me. He had to go out of his way and spend TIME convincing me to agree to this, and then he doesn't even show up.

Unknown Number: And I only agreed because it seemed like he'd hop into bed with me.

Unknown Number: I just wanted to get laid.

To Unknown Number: Have you tried sex toys? They're better than most people think.

Unknown Number: Oooo personal experience talking?

To Unknown Number: Yes. People are disappointing.

Unknown Number: Well, you're not wrong.

To Unknown Number: When was the last time you were actually satisfied with someone else in bed?

Unknown Number: Not sure it's EVER happened. Mostly I get pity fucks.

To Unknown Number: Sounds shitty. Sorry man.

Unknown Number: Woman actually. Not that I care, but I thought it was weird that you might think I'm a guy.

To Unknown Number: Well I'd offer to have sex with you but I'm busy

Unknown Number: Lol

Unknown Number: I'm willing to wait for you to be free ;)

To Unknown Number: Might be waiting a while.

Unknown Number: No offense, but does it look like I'm in a big hurry? I've got a shit ton of time to spend waiting.

Unknown Number: But I can't wait rn cause my hero in a car has come to pick me up. Talk to you later future-babe.

Sandor shook his head, mouth curving up into a smile as he set his phone to the side. Chances were that they wouldn't talk again, but it picked up his mood enough that when he got home, he made himself food instead of eating canned stew cold because he was too lazy to put it in a bowl and then the microwave.

Sandor carried his phone with him while he worked in case there was an emergency or someone needed to call in sick-- he really fucking hoped that no one did that today because it was busier than most Monday's. Everyone that wasn't an employee had notifications muted while he was working at the gym, so it wasn't until he was taking a lunch break that he saw the _ unread texts he'd accumulated since getting up this morning.

Unknown Number: I'm beginning to think that someone put a sign on my back that says 'please bug me straight boys'

Unknown Number: Seriously this is getting ridiculous ffs

Unknown Number: Aha! Mystery solved, my sister Sansa has been at work here. Well, her and her girlfriend Margaery.

Unknown Number: My name's Arya btw. It seemed weird that you knew my sister and her girlfriend's name but not mine.

Unknown Number: All these mediocre bastards are reminding me of our future plans together, and all I have to say is that I'm glad we have this (joking) agreement. Cause not once in our ten minutes of conversation did you objectify me. A high bar, I know.

Unknown Number: You should tell me your name when you see these so that when I ride my dildo tonight I can think of you ;)

Unknown Number: Gods I hope that wasn't inappropriate.

Unknown Number: Sorry if it was, I was just trying to make a joke.

Unknown Number: You know, the more I think about it, the more it seems to have been in poor taste.

Sandor added her as a contact under 'Arya, the horny one' so that he'd remember.

From Sandor: Name's Sandor. If you haven't changed your nightly plans, that is He paused, then added a winky face before he sent it, just to be sure she'd know he was joking.

From Arya, the horny one: Oh thank the gods. I have like two friends, I didn't want to lose you

From Sandor: Am I friend #2 or would I be added as #3?

From Arya, the horny one: Don't be so nosy.

From Arya, the horny one: I'm sure you'll figure it out someday.

Sandor snorted and put his phone back in his pocket.

Incoming Call From Arya. Sandor checked the screen, then frowned. They'd never called each other before, and it was late. What was she doing calling him at this hour? "What."

"Saaaaandor you answered! See Sansa I told you he would, suck my dick."

Inexplicably, he was amused. "Are you drunk?"

"Only a little. If I drink too much I can't walk straight and I bump into all kinds of shit. Nearly got ran over once."

"You did get run over!" a different woman's voice said, coming through the phone's speaker.

"You got run over?" Sandor asked, even more amused than before. Drunk people annoyed the hell out of him and he didn't have the patience for it, but right now was different. Maybe that was because he was finally hearing her voice, and while she was definitely a woman, it wasn't high-pitched enough that it felt like his ears were bleeding.

"It was a tap," she argued. "I didn't even need stitches. I've given myself worse trying to do fucking needlepoint."

"You do needlepoint?" He found that hard to believe.

"Fuck no, that's why I was able to convince my mother to let me stop. It wasn't worth the cost of bandaids."

"Sounds safe."

"You've got a sexy voice. Did I tell you that? I feel like I forgot to tell you that. I was busy proving a point to Sansa and got distracted."

Sandor snorted. "If you think my voice sounds sexy, you really do need to get laid."

"Is that an offer?"

"Fuck no. You could do better."

"Pretty sure we got talking because I haven't been able to do better. And what do you mean 'fuck no'? I'm a bloody catch, you twat!"

"How would I know? I haven't seen you."

"Well there's an easy solution to that. You free this Sunday? And I ask only to make sure you didn't make plans with your friends, I know you have the day off work."

"My friends are all working," he said drily. "I never have plans."

"Great, then you won't mind meeting up for coffee. Say, ten in the morning?"

"You want to meet me?"

"I don't know what- shut it Margaery I can walk and talk at the same time, bugger off. Pretty sure I've made it clear I want to fuck you, coffee is nothing."

"I ain't pretty, Arya. I don't know what kind of Prince Charming you've been imagining."

She snorted. "Yeah that's not gonna be a problem. I'm attracted to your voice and your personality, trust me, that'll be enough."

"I'm a miserable old shit." That much, he was sure of.

"All the more reason to get both of us laid. Happiness is one good round of sex away, do you really want to turn it down? Sunday, ten o'clock, the Godswood. I'll be the one with brown hair, a cane, and silly yellow sunglasses. If you're gonna be more than five minutes late, text me or I'm leaving. See you- seven hells Sansa! I was almost done mind your own fucking business. Bye Sandor see you then!" she called out hurriedly, like the phone was being taken from her.

"Er- bye." He hung up, then stared at his phone, bewildered. Guess he had a date. He didn't want to see what Arya's face would look like if her expression was just going to twist in disgust from his scar. He wasn't telling anyone about this. Bronn couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut, and Gendry would be all hopeful and give him that stupid puppy look and tell him that maybe he would fall in love and be happy. What a cunt.

He thought about dressing up.

He decided that was stupid.

He ended up in jeans and a worn, long sleeve shirt with his hair pulled back-- no point in trying to hide the burn scar. What was he doing? This was stupid. He wasn't so far removed from reality to believe that she'd run screaming, but it was going to change things. Arya didn't believe him when he said he was an ugly fucker, but now he was going to get to see her reaction up close and personal. Fuck everything. He still grabbed his keys and left the flat, heading towards the coffee shop she'd told him she would be at.

Fuck it all, he didn't even like coffee. Maybe they'd have something without that bitter shit in it.

Sandor grumbled to himself the entire trip there, but he showed up and that was rather telling. The shop wasn't packed, but it was comfortably full. They'd be able to have a conversation without the employees overhearing every word they said. It would also make it harder for him to find her, but what the hell. With a face like his, no one would be surprised that he was here for a blind date, and they sure as hell wouldn't be surprised if he got stood up. Not that he thought Arya would do that.

Brown hair, yellow sunglasses. She'd also mentioned a cane, but chances were he wouldn't be able to see it walking around like this. He passed three different hipster couples, and five single hipsters. Fucking hells he felt like he was going to lose his mind. Brown hair, yellow sunglasses. Brown hair, yellow- aha. Shit she hadn't been kidding when she described her sunglasses as 'silly'. They were large and garish and in the shape of stars. She had her dark hair pulled back in a half-bun, and the cane she mentioned was resting between herself and the wall. There was no drink in front of her, and her elbow was propped up on the table, resting her chin in her hand as she stared into space. She was pretty. Too damn pretty for the likes of him, but he couldn't turn around now.

"Arya?"

She turned her head. It didn't seem like she was looking at him, more like she was looking a foot from where his chest was. "Sandor?"

He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Yeah that's me."

"Great," she said, grinning. "Have you gotten a drink yet? I hope not, because I'm buying." She reached for the cane and stood, and that was around the time Sandor realized it was a familiar white style. She reached out her hand, and he moved automatically, standing next to her and guiding her hand to the crook of his elbow. They started to walk. "So, did you need a drink or are you just enjoying me hanging off your arm?"

"Both."

She snorted out a laugh.

"Few steps to the line," he warned as they slowed down.

"Know what you're getting?"

"No."

"You don't drink coffee, do you?"

"Not... usually," he hedged, and she laughed, but not cruelly-- which had been Berric's reaction when he learned that Sandor didn't drink coffee.

"Yeah most of it tastes like shit. I get the turtle macchiato because it's so sweet I can't taste anything else. Do you like sweet drinks?"

He made a face and said nothing. Then he remembered that she couldn't see him and said, "Not really." He liked sugary sweet, but dessert sweet tasted like liquid cavity and he hated it.

"And you don't like coffee." She hummed, thinking it over. "I think they have tea if you'd prefer that."

He grunted and scanned the menu. They had lemonade, he'd probably try that. The line moved forward, and he urged her to take a few steps, which she easily did.

"I'm not what you expected, am I?" she asked, a bitter note in her voice.

"No. You're a hell of a lot prettier."

She sighed. "You are sending mixed signals, Sandor."

"I am?" he repeated, confused. He'd thought it was pretty clear that he was happy to be here.

She gave a tense shrug. "You're not talking much."

"I'm talking more'n I usually do."

"If you don't want this to be a date, you can say so. We'll just be two friends meeting up, there's no harm in that."

"I don't talk much," he said. When that didn't comfort her, he added, "I wouldn't worry about it."

"If you say so," she said, which was noncommittal, but her mood picked up again.

A minute later, he told her, "It's our turn."

"Hey Arya," the man behind the register said.

"Hey Sam."

"Getting your usual?" Sam asked.

"I have a usual?"

"Large hot turtle macchiato, right?"

She groaned. "I've become predictable. This is like a nightmare."

"I wouldn't say totally predictable. Who's this with you, hm?" he asked, glancing at Sandor. His eyes darted to the scar, but he didn't look overly bothered by it. That was a nice change.

Arya snorted even as she leaned into Sandor's side. "Like you wouldn't tell Jon everything I say."

"I might not."

"Man," Sandor said, "I hardly know you and even I can tell that's a lie."

He gave a sheepish smile. "Well, he is my best friend. Anything for you today, Arya's mysterious friend?"

"Lemonade."

"What size?"

"Make it a large," Arya supplied so that he didn't have to worry about it.

Sam nodded, writing the order on a cup and setting it to the side. "Anything else?"

"Not for me." She angled her head towards Sandor. "Did you want a pastry or something."

"I'm good." Pause. "Thanks."

"Okay." She reached into her pocket and pulled out her wallet. It was a simple billfold, and Sandor noticed there was braille on the front of the card. Then he averted his eyes because what the fuck was he doing looking at her bloody credit card? She handed it over, and Sam swiped it, delivering it back to her waiting hand. When the receipt printed, he pulled it off and threw it away like he'd done it a hundred times before.

"Alright, you know where the hand-off bar is, Edd'll be the one down there today."

"Thanks Sam."

A few people stared at the pair of them, but for the most part no one cared. Sandor had dealt with far worse, so he ignored them without a second thought. Arya had probably dealt with worse too, even if she couldn't see the people currently staring.

Somehow one date turned into two, turned into eight. Sandor actually left the gym for lunch now, meeting Arya at the nearby deli every few days so they could eat together. The joking about sleeping together seemed less like joking and more like a legitimate question when Arya said it now.

Sandor shrugged uncomfortably, and Arya could feel it because she was holding onto his arm at the moment as they walked down the street. "We haven't known each other long."

"Oh please," she said, and Sandor got the sense that she was rolling her eyes. It was hard to tell through the dark lens of her sunglasses, but her tone made it rather clear that that's what she was doing. "We've been texting for four months, and seeing each other in person for another month. I think that's plenty of time. You weren't half as shy over text."

"It wasn't a possibility back then," he grumbled, and Arya sighed.

"If you don't want to, we don't have to. If you don't find me physically attractive- well, first of all fuck you, but that's fine too. I don't mind waiting as long as I know that's what I'm doing. But if we're not fucking because you think I'm not interested or some shit, you need to let it go."

"Of bloody course I know you're interested. You've made it pretty damn clear."

"So what is it? Are you not interested?"

"Course I am."

"Then what's the hold up?"

Sandor grumbled an answer under his breath, knowing full well that she couldn't understand him.

"What?"

He sighed and said it again, clear enough for her to hear this time. "It's been a while."

"Aww are you nervous?" she cooed. When he didn't joke back, she dropped the teasing expression and tone. "Wait, seriously? Sandor, there's nothing to be nervous about. I have complete faith in your ability to fuck me blind." She paused. "Get it? Blind?"

Begrudgingly, Sandor found himself chuckling.

"Listen, I remember telling you that my sex life has been pretty lackluster. Even if it's not good, I've definitely had worse. And besides, those were one-off's. If the first time sucks, so what? The second time'll be better. All of this to say that I don't think you'll be bad, but whatever, I doubt you'd listen to me if that's all I said."

"Yeah."

They slowed down for a crosswalk, conversation pausing in the presence of other people that would clearly be able to hear them. The light changed, and they started across, waiting a little longer to continue the conversation so they could get some distance.

"How do we plan that? I work all the fucking time and you have a roommate."

"You say that like we don't have time, right now, on our way to your flat."

"Right now?"

"Why not?" she asked, having to step away for a moment to avoid a shop's sign.

"It's the middle of the day."

Arya snorted, retaking her place by his side. "And you care? If you think you're going to be shit and shoot off early, then there's no reason why we should carve out three hours of an evening to do it."

He glanced down at her and found himself wanting. That wasn't anything new. She was not only bloody attractive, but willing. "Fine."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes."

She grinned, holding herself just that much higher as they walked.

It took several more minutes before they reached Sandor's flat, and he cleared his throat before uncomfortably offering, "Did you want to come in?"

She squeezed his arm in comfort. "I'd fucking love to."

They walked to the staircase, and he gave it a look, counting the steps hurriedly. "Ten steps, then a landing a meter long, then seven steps."

"Thanks."

Normally Sandor took the steps two at a time, but with Arya on his arm he took them the usual one at a time, feeling like he was moving at a snail's pace. Soon enough though, they were at his doorstep and he was unlocking the door. Despite all his arguing and this being the first time Arya had been to his place, he'd cleaned it up a long time ago and kept it that way. He didn't leave shoes and random bits of rubbish out anymore, making sure they weren't in the way for her to trip over. "Entryway's a few feet wide. You can leave your shoes on the right."

Arya tentatively poked her cane in that direction, the tip of it going over his shoes then the empty space of floor. She kept her cane in place as she slipped her shoes off and nudged them into place, using her toes and cane to make sure they were out of the way. "Show me around." She kept the cane in her hand, Sandor on one side and her cane in the other to watch that side.

He walked the perimeter of the living room and kitchen, making sure to detour inside so she knew where the tables were.

"And your room?"

He cleared his throat and they started walking again, down the short hallway and into his bedroom. There was no art anywhere in his flat, and for once he didn't have to hear someone bitching about the blank walls. His blanket was a faded black, something random hookup's always gave him a disappointed look for. Fuck them, it was comfortable and in good condition; he wasn't going to replace it just because the colour was a little off. He walked her forward until the edge of the bed was touching their legs. "This is the bed."

She unlaced her hand from his arm and held it in front of her, slowly lowering it down until she made contact with the top of the bed. With the cane, she reached to her left until she found the edge of the bed, then went to the right until she found the other side. She started around one side, hand trailing over the duvet as she walked to the head of the bed.

"There's a nightstand a couple paces in front of you."

She slowed, edging forward until she could bump it with her knee. Arya took her cane off the bed and set it on the opposite side of the nightstand, then climbed onto the mattress. She laid down, wriggling to get comfy on the pillows.

Her legs were spread and Sandor had to swallow past his dry throat. She held out a hand, saying his name, and he went like there was a rope around his waist, pulling him forward automatically. He kissed her like it was all he wanted to do, and she wrapped her legs around him to keep him there.

"You're glowing," Gendry teased at work the next day.

"Fuck off," Sandor grumbled. There was no denying that he was in a good mood, but glowing? That was a load of tripe.

"So when do we get to meet her?"

"As soon as she wants to meet you." Sandor looked directly at him as he delivered the next statement. "Which is never going to happen."

"Aw come on, mate. Anyone that's willing to date you has a thick enough skin to meet your friends."

"We're not friends; you're my employee."

"We're the closest things to friends that you have. You're grumpy as all seven hells, and you spend all your time here, making sure everything's working smoothly. Where are you going to find quote unquote 'real friends'?"

"I managed to find a girlfriend."

"Yeah and I'm still not convinced that wasn't an accident. Who is this magical girlfriend of yours anyways?"

Sandor rolled his eyes. "She's not magical. Stop whinging and get back to work."

"Yeah, yeah. You'd think getting laid would make you nicer."

But of course Arya chose that afternoon to spontaneously visit him at work. Which is to say that she didn't text or call, but Sandor was walking from the class rooms towards the rock wall to make sure everything was running smoothly, and he heard her talking to Gendry.

"What are you doing here?" Gendry asked her. Sandor couldn't see them yet, but sound bounced easily through the tile floor and clean walls.

"Gendry? What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Uh, I work here, and I know you hate exercise."

"You work at a gym?" she repeated doubtfully. "You're a twig, not a body builder."

"I'm not as small as I was the last time you saw me."

"Mhm," she said, clearly not convinced.

"Come on Arya, that was back in high school! You've grown a lot since then too. And you still haven't told me what you're doing here. Not hoping to catch up with me, I take it?"

She snorted. "No, but maybe we should schedule that in some time. I'm here to see my boyfriend. Who's definitely not a twig."

Sandor finally rounded the corner and saw Arya and Gendry. Arya, looking the way she always did: stunning. And Gendry had his flirting face on which made Sandor want to pick him up by the scruff of his neck as if to say 'seriously?'. Gendry had people hitting on him every week, but he was going to pick an old high school friend out of everyone in the world. "Arya?"

She turned towards him with a smile. "Sandor!"

"Sandor?" Gendry repeated, looking between the two of them. It was clear when he got it, because he straightened and took a step back. "I can't believe you're his secret girlfriend."

"I'm not secret you prat," Arya said, "I'm just private." She shooed him with her hand, still angled in Sandor's direction. "Now go away."

Gendry rolled his eyes. "Yes milady."

"I may not be able to see but I can still kick your arse."

He beat a hasty exit.

"You and Gendry?" Sandor repeated, raising an eyebrow as he walked towards her.

"It was a long time ago."

"I can't believe he convinced you to date him."

"Eh," Arya said with a shrug. "We were best friends and I needed someone to bring to my mother's parties." She flashed him a smile, and he could tell that she was mostly joking. The message was clear though: she had cared for him, but it wasn't like that anymore and it wouldn't become that way again. He reached her side and tapped her free hand with his own in offering. She took it, sliding her fingers up his arm to curve around his elbow and not caring that he was damp with sweat. "Speaking of parties, my brother's birthday is coming up and every year my gift to him is a surprise. Showing up with a big, grizzly boyfriend is sure to surprise everyone."

"And they won't think I'm manipulating you or some shit?"

"I can be very persuasive."

"Really?"

"I can also be very accurate when hitting people with my staff," she said, which confirmed Sandor's suspicion that she had very little in the way of regular persuasion techniques. "A little reminder and they'll leave us alone. For a while, at least."

"Is your family always going to be so fucking nosy?" The thought was annoying, but his example of a family was a father that drank and gambled too much and a brother that abused him.

"Yeah probably. They just worry that I'm going to get hurt. Eventually, they'll figure out that you're the second best thing to happen to me and they'll chill out."

"Second best? What's the first?"

"Electric guitar. You're good Sandor, but you're no rock 'n roll."

#got #fanfic #sandor clegane #arya stark #my writing

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purplesurveys · 5 years

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375

Choose any age you once were; answer the questions about you at THAT age. Age of choice: 17 (this was in 2015), as determined by Gab haha. The People I Knew Who was your crush (or significant other) back then? I was with Gab for the first half of the year, but I broke up with her too. Was anyone crushing on you? If so, who? I dunno, possibly. I was never entirely sure of Gab’s feelings in the first run of our relationship cos we rushed the whole thing really, so I don’t want to assume and say that she was attracted to me then. Who was your best friend at the time? Sofie, Angela, and Gab. Pretty much the same crew except I don’t talk to Sofie anymore. Any enemies/people you didn't like? Marielle, as always. Which family member were you closest to? I’ve never been close to my family, but if I had to name someone I guess it would be one of my older cousins, who I call Kuya since he feels just like an older brother to me.

Which family member were you the least close to? My mom. If you were in school, name a teacher you had: That was senior year, sooooo...Ms. Michelle. She was our class adviser but she also taught homeroom. What was your attitude toward people in general? I think I relied on other people a lot, because that was the year my grandfather died (first time I ever had to deal with death) and I got dumped and for the first time in several years, I suddenly cut Gabie out of my life. It took some adjusting that could’ve only been fixed by surrounding myself with others. It also helps that it was our last year in high school so it was a year when my classmates and I really bonded together. The Places I Went: Whose house were you at the most? I didn’t go to a lot of friends’ at the time but it was most probably either Athenna’s or Angela’s. Where was your favorite place to go to have fun? Chelsea’s house I think haha. My friend group weren’t mall people, we just hung out at the houses of those who’d be willing to accommodate us for the evening and for the most part, that was Chelsea’s place. Did you go on any vacations at that age? If so, where? Sagada/Baguio is the most significant one that comes to mind, but I’m sure we went someplace else but I’ve just forgotten. Where was your favorite place to shop? I didn’t shop much at the time. Favorite place to eat out at the time? I don’t think I had a favorite. I was stuck in school for 10 hours for 5 days straight for 14 years and we were far far away from the city, so going to the mall and trying out restaurants were very seldom. Did you go to any concerts? If so, who did you go to see? I did! I saw One Direction. Barely though, since our seats were far and it was held on mere concert grounds (not an arena which has multi-levels), meaning if you were far away then you had no chance of actually seeing the artist/s. We were far but still close enough that we could make them out, and that was good enough for me. Did you prefer being indoors or outdoors? I was definitely an indoors baby. I still am but I also like going outside now. What state/province did you live in at the time? I’ve been living in the same house. The Things I Did What did you and your friends usually do when you hung out? We were minors, so we’d usually get together for each other’s school events. Half of my friend group was from an all-girls school (AA), and the other half is from an all-boys school (Ateneo). If Ateneo had some sort of benefit concert or fair, we’d go there. If we had our own fair or concert or whatever, the boys would come over to hang with us. If it wasn’t a school thing then we’d normally hang out at someone’s place and order in food. It was a simpler time. What did you usually do in your free time? 2015 was a busy year and whatever free time I got, I used to take charge of the school yearbook or study for college entrance exams. Was there anything extra memorable you did at this age? Yes. I had my first kiss, first breakup, first experience with death, and I went to Sagada and was at peace with myself for the first time that year. I also passed the 3/3 universities I applied for. Oh and I was able to mend my relationship with Gabie and we ended up so much closer than I ever thought we would get. Pretty crazy year. Did you kiss anyone? If so, who? I did. Gab was my first kiss. I thought I was terrible but a few years later she showed a Tumblr post of hers writing about that kiss, and she seemed to think otherwise. Did you ever get in trouble for anything? Like what? I probably did, but I’ve most likely discarded it from my memories. What kind of music did you usually listen to? Up Dharma Down, BP Valenzuela, Ed Sheeran, Sam Smith...I was into a lot of sad music because again, I went through a breakup and it had been a pretty shitty year. Oh and that was the year Adele’s Hello came out which was the icing to my shitty fucking cake. Did you buy anything that you still have to this day? What was it? I’m sure I do, but I don’t keep track of the years I buy my stuff. Did you ever get teased for anything? I don’t think so. What was something you got upset over, if any? I recapped all of them several questions ago, my friend. What was something you got really excited over, if any? Passing the UPCAT and getting Gabie back (as my best friend) were the pots of gold I needed (and got) by the end of 2015. There was no better way to cap off the year. The Things I Liked... & Didn't Like A band/singer you liked? I was on a One Direction high throughout 2015 since I saw them in concert. Hozier also blew up that year and I was alllll over his first album; Athenna introduced me to Banks and I stanned her album as well. A band/singer you didn't like? Meghan Trainor probs. A song you liked? Even If You Asked Me - BP Valenzuela. I continue to stan that song h a r d even four years later. A song you didn't like? Idk anything Meghan Trainor or Ellie Goulding put out. A subject in school you liked? English but only because it was incredibly easy and Hamlet was a breeze. I hated the teacher and I knew she hated me too though. A subject in school you didn't like? I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about calculus. A food you liked? Chocolate chip cookie cups with milk shots were the trend back then and I remember going crazy over them. I’d still have 10 of those today if there were some in front of me. A food you didn't like? Fruits. Something you liked to do? Hahahaha. I liked passing by Gabie’s classroom. She knew she made a mistake dumping me, and while it was really evil of me, I really enjoyed passing by everyday cos I just knew she’d watch me the whole time. I asked her about this when we got back together and my hunch was right. Something you just didn't like to do? Working on calculus worksheets, so I never did attend to those. Still ended up at the top university, so that’s a nice ‘fuck you.’ A TV show you liked? Breaking Bad. A TV show you didn't like? Not so sure. Whatever was hyped back then. Maybe How I Met? A person you liked (as a friend)? Angela. A person you didn't exactly like? Marielle. The Things I Owned Did you own any electronic devices? If so, what? Sure. I had an iPhone 5 then and my old HP laptop. What about toys? I was 17. Overall, what did you have in your room? I think I still had my wrestling posters up during that time, and I also had a letter art thingy on the wall with the quote, “There isn't a person on this planet that should let a past nightmare dictate or cloud their future dreams,” said by CM Punk. I had darker curtains at the time so it was so much easier to be in an ~emo mood while I listened to dark indie songs hahaha. Were any posters plastered on your wall? Of who/what? ^ Refer to previous question. Do you remember what kind of backpack you had for school, if any? Yes, it was a black Nike backpack with yellow accents. Did you own a diary/journal? If my survey blog counts, then yes.

Can you name one thing you got for your birthday at that age? Yanna got me my favorite brand of wafers. I’ll never forget that present, it was so sweet. Did you own a bike/car? Or anything for transportation besides walking? My dad got me a car by the end of the year but I didn’t learn how to use it until the next year. I went to and from school via school service, which is our version of a school bus. What kind of clothes did you usually wear? Meh, my style had still been pretty basic at the time so nothing special. When you go to a private all-girls Catholic school that requires you to wear a uniform for 10 months in any given year, you never really have the time to explore styles that exist beyond your plaid skirt and your white socks. The Things That Were IN What band/singer was very popular, if you can remember? The Weeknd, Drake, Rihanna, Adele, Ed Sheeran. One Direction was pretty big but only because Zayn left that year. What was one song that was played on the radio a lot? Hahaha I had to look this up since I’m terrible with hit songs and the years they came out. The song that screamed to me the most to mention it is Fetty Wap’s Trap Queen. Shit BLEW up in 2015. I’m listening to it rn just for old time’s sake and it still seriously bops. What was something most people your age owned (or HAD to have)? iPhone 5. At the time, it was the perfect phone in the perfect size. Now I can’t stand seeing one cos I had mine for so long, even while everyone overtook me with iPhone 6′s and 7′s lmao. Was Facebook popular yet? Oh yeah. Very much. What book series was the most popular? I’m not so sure about that. Murakami got really popular in my circle at the time, but I’m not sure if that applies everywhere else. What TV series was the most popular? Probably Game of Thrones. What movie did a ton of people go to see? I had to look this up, but apparently there was an Avengers movie out this year. What kind of clothes were most people wearing? Off-shoulders started to spread in 2015, if I remember correctly. Did you tend to like what was popular, or not really? I was sort of in the middle. I listened to One Direction and Rihanna, but I also liked nonconventional stuff like punk rock and wrestling. It’s the same today. What I Think Now Overall, what was it like to be this age? It was definitely one of the better years. 17 was a defining year, and I lost a lot and gained a lot and learned a lot. I’d have no problem rewinding 2015 if I absolutely had to, even if it meant going through the ugly shit again. Looking back, do you miss being this age? I do. I was happier. Do you prefer being the age you are now? To some extent, yes. I don’t really like dwelling in the past. But I do acknowledge that I was happier when I was 17. Now to make you feel old: What year was it when you were this age? 2015. Pretty recent, sis. Would you relive this age all over again? Already said that I would. I’d want to learn as much as I did that year, all over again.

#survey #surveys

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daneeeeka · 6 years

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These past 24 hours have had me in a state of shock.. Gonna just vent it all out to get it over with and move past this bs.

It really amazes me how selfish and self-centered some people are.. You think you know someone and then they show you their true colors lol. You’re the person that goes above and beyond for them for YEARS and then when they suddenly feel better and find people more similar to their preferred lifestyle, they throw you under the bus. Lol I truly find it ironic how you can do so much for someone for so long and they never appreciate it. To say I’m shocked would be an understatement, but our friends say they were not surprised because this is the type of person you are. I wish they told me earlier and I don’t know why I never saw it, but I’m glad you finally showed me, otherwise years down the road, it would have just hurt more. I am in a period of my life where I am working towards my future.. all of us are making strides and trying to better ourselves and open up our career opportunities. You, on the other hand, are the type to focus on your present happiness. You want to party and have fun, and while that’s fine for a time, you don’t want to be spending the rest of your peak years doing that, do you? Your new friends are in their mid-twenties and not doing anything about their careers. You guys go out and party and mess around every other day. What will amount from that? What kind of progress will you be making by hanging out with these types of people?

Anyways that’s none of my business. My business is me. And you have made me feel angry, hurt, doubtful. You made me question my value as a friend. I’m really glad I have the others here for me, to reassure me that the things you said were untrue and spoken out of emotional lunacy. I know that I am a great friend and that I have done so much good in the lives of others. You made me feel so undervalued. You made me feel as if my feelings weren’t as important as yours. Where the others always thanked me for the things I do for them, you never truly appreciated me.. I see that now. All those times I’ve been there for you.. literally doing MILES more than anyone ever has or ever will do.. you’ve taken me for granted. I gave and gave and you just kept taking and taking. When have you ever given back to me? I was always the one picking you up, making you feel better, supporting you, encouraging you. Friendship is a balance between give-and-take, and all you did was take.

I know down the road you will eventually realize that you made a mistake and you will regret treating me this way. Even my own friends who barely knew you told me that they could see how much I do for you. I guess everyone could see it except you. Where were your new bffs when you were torn apart, crying all those nights? Where were they when you were heartbroken and lost? They were like “oh so sorry.. let’s go out and have fun so you can forget about it” but did they ever take you into their home and tuck you into their bed when you showed up high and crying at 2am? Did they ever stay on the phone with you for hours while you were drunk and bawling your eyes out? Did they ever volunteer to pick you up when you were stranded on the streets? Did they ever encourage you to study and work towards your future and pursue your dream school despite the odds? Do they even do anything except invite you out to have fun & drink and let you complain about your love life? Who was there all those times you were at rock bottom? Now you’re better and they wanna hang out with you more. Coincidence? That’s because friends like that only want you during the good. Real, true friends have been with you there the entire time, thru the good times and the bad times. And you may have attacked specifically me, but we all agree that it was an attack on all of us. If you hang out with them in the future, I hope you know in the back of your mind that even though they don’t explicitly say it, you’ve broken their trust too. You attacking and hurting me opened their eyes as well. You only cared about how you felt and not how your actions have affected all of us. You were inconsiderate towards everyone but yourself.

You are a hypocrite. Saying we shouldn’t do this and that when we all agree that you were the biggest culprit. Suddenly it minutely involves your new homegirl and you make a 180? lol truly hypocritical and you know it. You turn around and say all these nasty things about me. At first, I wasn’t even going to bother replying. But then you continued to try to provoke me so I took some time to think about it and gave you a response. I pointed out the flaw in your logic and told you the straight up truth. I still treated you like an adult. I still showed you respect, but you reacted irrationally. You couldn’t handle it because you knew you were wrong. You decided to remove yourself, and you know what? That’s fine. Like I told you yesterday, I don’t have time for this kind of immaturity. If you want to handle your problems by being shady and starting drama like high schoolers, that’s on you. But I have so much more going for me rn and I don’t need to spend time chasing after people who don’t appreciate me. Speaking of the truth, you say you started having bad feelings for me since a couple months ago. In between that time and now, we have hung out alone multiple times and have had talks where we told each other how much we appreciated that our friendship is strong enough that we could always be honest with each other if we ever had issues with the other person. Everyone that knows me that I am honest, probably to a fault. But what comes along with honesty is that I am always straight up with other people and am willing to talk thru any misunderstandings and come up with a compromise. You pulling that shit yesterday basically proved that you are fake, if what you said is actually true. You were fake this whole time and thru all those conversations we had with each other.. Yesterday, you said we don’t really know each other after all. You’re right. I didn’t know you. I never ever thought you would turn out to be so fake, two-faced, and hypocritical. Narcissistic, stubborn, and emotional, yes. I knew all of these but nobody is perfect. Friends accept you for who you are. These things I could see past because I loved you and cared about you. But I never thought you would turn out to be this cruel.

I honestly wonder if you will ever take a step back and reflect on your actions. Will you ever be able to mature emotionally and recognize the things you’ve done and their consequences? Or will you continue to run to friends and let them validate you, despite you being wrong. This is a mistake our friends and I have been making.. and now it has turned around and bitten us. We agree that we cannot make someone learn if they do not want to learn. You never truly wanted to learn your lessons. That’s why you continued to go thru the same problems with the same people over and over and over again. We realize now that we babied you for far too long and now you’ve become used to this type of behavior. We made a mistake, but we will learn from it. Will you?

What bothered me the most wasn’t that you were a hypocrite or that you said nasty, irrelevant things about me. I guess what hurt was knowing that you took me for granted all these years. All these years I’ve spent giving you my friendship, support, loyalty.. and you throw it away for these new “friends.” I introduced you to this girl.. you’ve seen the damage she has caused our other friend, and you still choose to defend her despite it all. Now I never really said much about you staying friends with bad people (not just her, but the other guy too) because you can choose whoever you wanna be friends with. But to choose them over someone who has been there for you since day 1 thru literally everything.. wow. priorities.

You say I talked about you behind your back, but who would I have even talked to? I don’t talk much to any of your friends, much less about you. The only people to whom I’ve even said your name are our friends, and they know that despite everything you do, I’ve always tried to be supportive, despite not completely condoning your behavior. You tried to manipulate our friends by texting them individually and saying bad things about me. Who is the real person talking badly behind the other’s back now? I’m glad they told me.. and I’m glad they knew better. That is so vindictive of you, trying to make our friends feel bad for you and make me look like the bad guy. I will never ever make them choose sides but I’m SO fucking thankful they are mature enough to realize what is morally right and wrong in this situation. I’m so thankful that they appreciate me and are honest with me.. something you evidently cannot do. I’m not even mad. I’m just so disappointed.. this is the person you turned out to be.

If you showed me that you even cared for anyone else’s feelings besides your own or that you could listen to anyone else’s perspective besides your own, I think I would have tried to talk to you. I’m glad you showed me your true self. Our friends say they always knew you were like that and expected that to happen, but I never saw it coming.. you really blindsided me.. I think I was the one that always tried to see the good in you, always kept trying to help you and guide you and support you. What you did and how you handled it was immature, selfish, inconsiderate.. I was so shocked last night and all of today. But I’ve finally come to terms with it. This is who you are.

Our friends are right. We are on different paths in life. Partying and having fun and making new friends is your priority right now. If you are truly happy being stuck in that scene and being around these types of people who will never help you amount to anything more, then good for you. You’re caught up in these temporary fleeting moments of happiness doing “fun” stuff and getting to know these new people. That’s fine. I know that in time you will see that you’ve made a mistake. Whether you’ll find the courage to own up to it and try to fix things, I don’t know ..nor do I really care right now. You’ve really stabbed me in the back and everyone agrees that I made the right decision in cutting you off. I don’t need your toxicity in my life. Maybe you were just holding me down the entire time. I gave and gave and now my love for you is empty. You took all those years I gave you and you broke it. All for what.. these temporary people and the temporary fun. You’ll regret it. I know it. You know it. Everyone knows it. When they abandon you or when you outgrow them, don’t crawl back to me expecting open arms. You broke our friendship and the trust we shared. Next time you’re broken, you’ll be alone and you’ll think about this moment. I really hope they were worth it.

#personal

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whatevenis2016-blog · 7 years

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Please just kill me already.

Basically every aspect of my life sucks rn. Work is horrible and gets worse and worse everyday. I can't stand it and I just want someone to call me back so I can get out of this hell hole. It's so funny tho this one girl gets to work 45, 50, even an hour late every single day and my boss doesn't seem to care and I get to work everyday on time and then I change into my work cloths there and clock in like 3 minutes late. But do you know who she gives shit and bitched about behind her back to other employees? Me. Not her. She literally doesn't appreciate the fact that I basically run her store and shes never there. And she takes weekends off and gives the girl who's always late weekends off and this guy every Friday and Sunday off but won't give me or the other girl who actually do shit at work any weekend days off. Ever. I ask one weekend off a year, for my birthday. And she still Give Me Shit about how hard it is for her to make it work without me being there. Oh wow. Go fuck yourself. Like really. I don't care how hard it is for you, it's your business not mine. It's not my problem. Like if you can't make it work with the people you have, maybe you should fucking hire more people? And not just have like 6 employees.... And about a million other reasons why working there is complete ass. My mother hates me. And no I'm not exaggerating, not even a little bit. Here are some direct quotes from my mother, all completely unprovoked and completely out of the blue:: "you are a psychopath" "maybe I should keep calling your bitch of an employer" she's trying to get me fired bc I refused to see her on my birthday "you're off your meds, you aren't wearing your retainer, you dropped out of college. You're living in an unhealthy environment" my doctor took me off my meds bc I'm doing better, I stopped wearing my retainer bc it's been ever a year since I got my braces off, I'm taking ONE semester off bc my whole fucking life is imploding around me and an way too stressed out and overwhelmed to handle school on top of all my other problems. "Your father said he was going to kill me" complete lies bc she's mad my father got custody of me when I was a child. "maybe C***** didn't stab you in the back she just didn't like how he was treating you" and ex friend of mine treated me like shit and tried to break me and an ex up and then tore apart many other friendships bc she's an insecure person but she wants me to believe I was the problem not other people. "your dad doesn't want you to succeed" "it's time to grow up and stop blaming shit on me!!!!!!!" "You only text me when you're angry" " I tried so hard with you" "I wasted XXXX$ on your braces" she tried to take my father to Cort and force him to pay for braces but because she was thousands and thousands of dollars behind in child support they made her pay for them, not to mention doing things like that are what you're suppose to do as a parent not bc your child 'deserves it'. All those are just text messages she's sent me resently. I'm currently 21 and she still owns me like 33,000$++ in child support. She doesn't even work, she sponges off the government. The money she gets from the government every month is more that my father Earns every month. And my dad is able to out food on the table, buy clothing for me and then some but she's not even able to buy anything more than bread and ramen noodles bc she spends the rest of her money on drugs and alcohol and other stupid shit (like smart phones she doesn't know how to use and DS3Ds as soon as they are released and again doesn't know how to use. All for herself I might add). She has completely treated my like shit for my entire life. When I was younger I used to believe I deserved it bc I was just a shitty person but after seeing a good therapist, I know know she's mentally ill, refuses to get help and just projects all her issues and anger onto me. She tells me I'm the worst thing that has ever happened to her, that I'm mentally retarded and would never graduate high school (even though from 11th great until my junior year or college I got all As and Bs except 2 classes I really struggled in), she would tell me I don't deserve love and I would die alone. Day in and day out for absolutely no reason other than just wanting me to feel horrible. If I wouldn't do simple things like dishes or taking trash out she would threaten me never to take me to a doctor or dentist again (which incase you can't figure this out for yourself is sick and twisted) you should ground your kid of a weekend not refuse medical attention. She's woken me up in the middle of the night, knocking me out of bed and kicked me out with no explanation. Once I was out with a friend and came home probably around 11pm and she had locked me out of our appartment and wouldn't let me back in and I had called my dad but he was asleep so he didn't answer, so I just waited outside in the hallway until the next morning and rode the bus to school. One of the first therapists I had told her she can't keep treating me the way she does (keep in mind my mother would sit in on my appointments and do most of the talking herself so it wasn't even just me spouting out a bunch of shit, it was just from the words spoken from my mother). On the way home she told me how horrible I am, how I was the worst thing that has ever happened to her, that I deserved all the bad thing possible to happen to me. There have been times when she was mad at one of my brother's (she has 2 other sons, my 2 half brother's) and she would take her anger out on me (bc they didn't live with us) she would tell me it was my responsibility to step up and take her shit, that's what it meant to be 'part of a family' what it meant to be 'an adult'. Does that make sense to you? If you're mad at someone but they aren't there...That you would yell and a completely unrelated person simply bc you were mad...? Bc that's what it meant to be a family...? No. It doesn't make sense. I've literally seen my mother do something and then turn around a yell at my brother like he did it. She's so fucked up, she just can't stand it when there isn't drama. The last time l lived with her was my senior year of high schoool, in the middle of the night she tricked me into coming downstairs telling me she was hurt and needed help. When really she was shitfaced drunk, she told me how sick of me she was, how she couldn't stand me, how she didn't want to take care of me anymore. She had a hand full of several bills all in my name, all way past due, that she didn't pay or give to me, that were ruining my credit bc they were unpayed. Just to fuck me over. And then kicked me out. It was like 1 in the morning. And after I left, within the next week she was pissed as all hell that I refused to come back. She had kicked me out several times in the past and I was forced to go back bc I was under 18 but this time there was absolutely no reason for me to go back. She wouldn't stop harassing me she called and left so many messages in 2 weeks it filled my entire voicemail. I didn't even know that was possible. But it is. They were all telling me I was a shitty person. I had to get a whole new phone number bc of her. What a great mother right? And she literally cannot wrap her hear around why I want nothing to do with her. And on top of all of her shit my brother's are so brain washed they believe it's okay for her to act the way she does and are MAD AT ME for not wanting to interact with her. They literally try to make me feel guilty for not wanting to see or talk to her. Like the way she acts in in no way, shape or form okay for a parent to act. And the fact they think I should PUT UP WITH IT is fucking ridiculous. I have literally told my one brother story's of what she has does and all he says is "you should really call and talk to mom". Like wow, I can fell the love. I can tell my mental health is important to you. And currently I have been having some serious issues with my insurance. I need to be enrolled in school to get my insurance benefits and I guess this year my shit got messed up and they never received my enrollment info. So for like the last 3 months I've been trying to get it straitened out with problem after problem after problem. And several hours sitting on call waiting with my insurance. Currently I'm emailing someone from college trying to get enrollment verification forms. So I emailed the lady saying I needed help for the fall semester of 2016 and explained my whole problem to her. The spring of 2017 I'm taking off bc of personal problems and she already knew that bc I've already talked to her about it. All she replies with "you're not currently enrolled". I was so pissed and crushed. She clearly didn't even read my email. I have dealt with her before and I have friends that have dealt with her, and she has never been anything but a cunt. And I don't genuinely say cunt as a insult but she's a cunt. Like what even is her job but to help students?? She has either not helped me or given me so much shit in the process. If you fucking hate your job so much that you treat your students like shit, you should get a new job. Like are you serious, I am thousands of dollars in debt to my insurance that I don't owe bc my shit fell through for a stupid reason. And it's affecting my credit score bc I don't want to just pay for it and potentially not get replayed.... And a couple months ago my father had surgery for cancer and isn't working. So with my shit job where I don't even make the minimum wage, I'm trying to support us. And right after he had his surgery and I accidently broke my finger. All in the finals week of school. So I was trying to finish final projects, study for finals, being torn apart hoping my father would be okay, wanting to go out of town to visit him in the hospital and then not being able to bc I broke my finger, and missing several days of school and having to make up finals. All while having my work issues too and being expected to work way more hours than I could physically and mentally handle but doing it anyway. Just being torn apart in every direction possible and having no one care... And since my father's surgery I've had to drive him 2 hours our of town for check ups since his surgery and when I ask those day off from work my boss has the audacity to give me shit about needing those days off even though she knows full well why I was asking them off. I literally hate my life and wish I was dead. Like all of my problems are bc of other people, things that are completely out of my control. Like I try so hard to fix shit and nothing gets better. My entire life I've tried to bend over backwards trying to make my mother love me but she just hates me more and more everyday. No matter what I do or say my boss never takes me seriously or respects or appreciated a single thing I do. No matter who I talk to or what I send nothing changes with my insurance. Can someone just kill me.....

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trollepickett89-blog · 7 years

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Reduced Carb For Families.

So let's include another product to the list from impossibles: I have actually shed more than 20 pounds in below 24 hours on greater than a lots affairs. Basketball, winter sports, football, and soccer are a few from the sporting activities that bring in professional athletes vulnerable to knee injuries, given that these activities involve pivoting or even hopping. Regularly have actually partnered up with Tesco to use ladies that purchase unique promotional packs from Always Ultra in between now and also 30th September 2016 the opportunity to carry out one hr of cost-free sporting activities. I will love for you, if you definitely would not mind, to validate your thoughts on doing a sporting activity (no-gi jiu jitsu 3-5x/ week) and also hauling. Stop acquiring children meals - most youngster's meals are actually highly refined processed food loaded with inflamed seed oils, grains and also carbohydrates. 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By featuring the cost of diet-related diseases alone, our experts have actually presently about multiplied the price of our meals. In my day this was merely a case of effectively, you participated in sport as well as you enjoyed it, as well as went everywhere. In a food processor or food processor, mix the dressing active ingredients over up until effectively pureed as well as a bright eco-friendly different colors. Effectively, I think their consumption was actually made up and also the decrease in iron had not been simply due to a lowered intake of the food items (that would certainly be actually rather bad scientific research). By eliminating refined junk food from their diet, little ones end up being low carb just about through default. They are actually presently instilled in the label, and also have an inner network of contacts. There has likewise been actually current headlines that after offering 4 years as a book police, Port Osbourne would love to become a constant police officer, and obtaining in to condition and exercising on a regular basis to get ready for the authorities institute may simply aid. Considering that 2009, that has transformed over 25,000 tractor-trailers worth of food items in to compost, creature feed and biofuel, according to Gardner. Using center rate (Human Resources), 65% from your maximum Human Resources can be an incredibly standard standard. Or even travelers could get meals on the ground before their passenger cylinder is actually placed in the plane shell. You know, that's effortless to state I adore you or that is actually simple to talk about passion in the theoretical, yet you get a team of folks all together as well as you begin placing work into something like the God's Acre, you walk out and you volunteer several hrs a week performing hard work, bending and stooping and also weeding as well as harvesting food, and then duing to the fact that meals to hungry folks which need that, that to me ... that is actually having sex apparent. I have listened to that powercleans and also squats are actually the master from all athletic boosts and also in my own personal opinion, they carry out assist greatly in a number of the facets of sports. To handle your blood glucose and also to stay a healthy diet with diabetic issues, you will definitely must know what resides in your food items so you may treat properly and also be ready for how the food will definitely affect you. Food simply should be meals - scrumptious, enjoyable, differed, reliable gas for your body system - because that is actually exactly how it provides our company in the healthiest technique possible. In his manual Food items as well as Religion: A Faith of Consuming, he examines just how eating has come to be largely a financial process, at fantastic cost to agricultural workers, pets, and also the atmosphere. My only concern with the FitBit Tracker is actually the ability that checking your fat input as well as result would become a light obsession. My weblog Food items & Nonsense portions my thoughts on nourishment relevant issues, my working out downs and also ups and my endlessing mission to eat my means all over the world. Meals handling needs to create foods items even more costly for everyone, certainly not less expensive. Then I started to operate at a place were I needed to sit a whole lot and also began to overlook homemade food and also opted for fast food and also sodas. Sam took a while to discuss some lessons he is actually discovered hiring for society match and also exactly how that boosted business. A little bit of woman as well as her mother merely walked straight up to me and also she said, Mum, that female's got an artificial lower leg on. It does not even look near actual," as well as I was therefore ravaged. When eating their personal standard food items, Iron absorption for each teams decreased by 70%-- even.

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