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generalsmemories · 6 months

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Ginkgo leaves

✧ jing yuan x gn!reader

✧ based on the ask: Since reqs are open, you think you could write jing yuans reaction to his lover being Mara-struck? Thank you! - requested by anonymous

✧ contents: established relationship, angst, hurt/almost no comfort lmfao, implied character death, mentions of other characters, pov mostly written in jing yuan's pov, still usage of 2nd pov (referring the reader as you), mayhaps ooc because jing yuan is an emotional wreck.

✧ a/n: when i tell ya'll i legit struggled to be able to write this entire thing. there's been like 3-4 scrapped drafts because halfway through writing i would just NOT be satisfied with the result. to the anon who requested this, i'm so sorry it took this long - but i hope the upcoming trainwreck makes up for it! a trainwreck im still not actually satisfied with LMFAO. but it's better than the other 5 scrapped works. also not beta-read so fellas if u see a spelling error - no you didn't.

p.s: some mara-struck information i give here are totally fanmade for the purpose of this fic alone, as such don't take whatever i write about mara here as what actually happens canonically to characters (then again most of the playable characters have different symptoms of mara themselves).

"Benefactor, am I correct to believe you're asking me if the general has any specific interests?" Tingyun asks with a snicker, the trailblazer looking away from her prying eyes while mumbling a quiet yes.

"Some of the younger... Can I call them younger? Anyway, some of the younger Xianzhou citizens are very infatuated with the general. Seeing as I've been announced as his honory guest, they do often come and ask me various things to try and gain his favor. So yeah, anything at this point will work - so please!" the trailblazer hurriedly explained, clasping their hands together in a desperate attempt to get anything from the foxian amicassador leaning back with a quirked eyebrow.

"Ahh, love truly makes someone go blind doesn't it," she muses out loud, the trailblazers' eyebrow furrowing together in confusion over the foxian's lady choice of words, "... You're not entirerely wrong with that statement..."

"Do you want to know what his favorite flower is?" Tingyun asks, ignoring the confused question that had been uttered to her, snapping her fan open to hide the cheeky smile that spread across her lips - but anyone could still tell that her eyes were gleaming with mischief as the trailblazer nodded their head.

"He doesn't have one."

"Then why did you even-"

"But he likes ginkgo leaves."

The trailblazers' eyes widened in shock, and rightfully so because the very thing ginkgo leaves are associated with are after all...

"He had a lover once, and as far as I'm aware, his last moment with them while they still had their consciousness intact was surrounded by ginkgo leaves."

Jing Yuan whilst having forgotten almost every single moment with you, does unfortunately remember the exact details of the day that your descent into madness started. Because what he witnessed wasn't a futile struggle you had with yourself to not to destroy everything within your vicinity. Instead, he witnessed the slow process of your bright self becoming an empty shell, only capable of uttering a few words.

It's comical really, even when faced with a curse that struck everyone mad - he found out that it oddly fit your character to not go mad, but instead become the complete opposite of your gentle self. A hollow shell of the person he fell in love with all centuries ago.

Jing Yuan knew he had to end your suffering right then and there when you first started to show signs.

But he couldn't - This wasn't something that had to be immediately dealt with, his hand wasn't forced like it was back when he had to slay his own master down before she took more lives.

No, this was a normal afternoon on what would've been another normal, mundane day in both of your lives. But everything went wrong the moment Jing Yuan heard the breaking of glass, and how there was a lone gingko leaf inside the palm of your hand - a ginkgo leaf that you were staring wide-eyed at with a trembling hand.

You were too far from the veranda to have a ginkgo leaf in your hand.

General Jing Yuan would've ended your suffering the moment you turned around to lock eyes with him, your own face twisted into one of utter fear.

General Jing Yuan would've reported you the to Ten-Lords Commissions as the law had stated. But Jing Yuan couldn't - because Jing Yuan knew that the moment he did, he would never see you again.

So he decided for once he would be selfish. Jing Yuan rarely made choices lately that was based off of his own feelings, but his time with you was cut too harshly, so once again he chooses to be selfish. Even if that meant that it would prolong your suffering just a tiny bit more. "... We can figure something out," was the only thing he could muster up the courage to say with a shaking voice. You didn't say anything, your mouth wobbling a tiny bit and your breathing getting harsher by the second.

But still you indulged him - you always did. So with an equally wobbly smile, you only nodded your head slightly, "... Sure."

That wobbly smile and expression of utter fear was the last genuine expression that truly came from yourself.

The descent to becoming fully mara-struck is usually a fast process, the curse able to completely overtake someone's mind within the same day the symptoms appears - rendering the person completely vulnerable with the only alternative to either hand themselves in to the Ten-Lords or wait for the Ten-Lords to come to them personally.

Your usual easy-going smile was gone, in its stead was eyes that kept going in and out of focus. Almost as if you were desperately trying to keep yourself grounded - a battle you both knew would end with your defeat.

Jing Yuan didn't dare to venture outside of the house. One step out and every Cloud Knight would've been on you within seconds to subdue you. He had first initially resorted to just holding you within his arms for as long as he could, to be able to remember how you felt like after your death.

But with the minimal strength you had left, you had wobbled to the garden, every step taken only making you pant heavily. But even with heavy breaths of air leaving your lips, you had refused to take Jing Yuans hand or offer to even carry you out to the garden. When you had managed to reach the ginkgo tree standing tall at the center of the garden, Jing Yuan was sure you were going to collapse in front of it, taking a quick step to catch you.

But instead you had merely reached your hands up, the falling leaves fluttering gently down onto your palms. And while you were in indescriable pain for the last couple of hours - Jing Yuan could only see a serene expression when you looked up at the ginkgo leaves that were continously falling down.

"... They're beautiful... aren't they... Jing Yuan? It's almost a pity... that these beautiful... leaves are associated with our doom," you said softly. Jing Yuan could feel his breath hitch in his throat when you uttered his name.

You're obviously struggling to convey whatever thoughts you still had to him properly, taking a moment in between words to catch your breath, eyebrows furrowed slightly as you fought against the searing pain that was spreading through every nerve in your body.

There's a sudden gust of wind which causes the pile of leaves in your hands to flutter away from your grasp. Your hand stretches out slightly, almost in an attempt to reach out for them - stumbling a bit in your step. The limp causes Jing Yuan to take a quick step forward with his arms outstretched. Perhaps seeing him in your peripheral vision causes you to stop the futile attempt to catch the escaping leaves, arms going limp against your side as you turn to face him - your once blank expression turning into a somber smile instead.

Jing Yuan thinks that it's unfair how normal you look in front of him - almost as if you haven't been becme mara-struck. Like nothing has happened to you aside from the ginkgo leaves fluttering from your lips whenever you cough. The same cough that causes the general of Luofu to flinch every time - without fail.

And perhaps you can see his inner turmoil, the way he tries to make eye contact with you, but is unable to after a few seconds. The way his hands clench too hard into fist to the point droplets of blood fall down to the grass and stains it a deep red while he bites his own lips to not say a word - lest he says something that he will regret.

And you truly wish that you could tell him everything is okay like you usually do.

But for the first time since the day he lost his friends, you can't.

"... I'm sorry," you finally say, the apology making him whip his head up to you again. Mouth opening to say something to comfort you, to tell you that it's not your fault. But the words are unable to leave his mouth when he sees your arms slightly outstretched towards him with a small smile.

And he can't hold it in anymore.

It only takes him a few wide steps to reach you from his position before he cradles you within his arms. The grip is tight, unbearably tight to the point it hurts, but you don't complain. You're limp in his hold, and if this was any day he wouldn't comment, but the fact that you're not moving a single muscle terrifies Jing Yuan to the core. "... Please," he finally manages to whisper, the rustling of ginkgo leaves around you almost drowning out his quiet plea.

"Please don't make me do this again."

He doesn't ask if the tensing of your body is caused by the pain that's rapidly increasing or if it's caused by his silent confession. He can however feel the gentle hand that rests against the lower part of his back and your head resting against the side of his own. The reassurance you try to give him does nothing to help because he's aware that it probably brought you unmeasurable pain to try to move those limbs - instead the general buries his face closer to your neck and squeezes you tighter.

"... You won't." you whisper quietly.

It takes a moment for Jing Yuan to process the meaning behind those two words.

But it's a moment too late, because before he can get his phone out to usher a command, a few resounding knocks can be heard throughout the quiet mansion.

"General Jing Yuan. This is Xueyi of the Ten-Lords commission. I've gotten information that there's currently a mara-struck within these premises."

Jing Yuan feels his blood run cold, he pulls himself away from you to stare at you properly in disbelief.

You're still staring at him with the same somber expression, however he can tell there's a small pitiful smile grazing your lips, "I'm sorry," you whisper once again.

"I asked her... personally," you start, finally letting yourself rest now that the end is near, slumping down onto Jing Yuan's chest, your ear settling itself against his heart to hear his rapid heartbeats.

Jing Yuan loathes the fact that it's at this moment, with the Ten-Lords commission outside of your door and with him completely broken do you actually look at peace - like your battle against time has finally come to its conclusion.

And naturally, the one who lost is you.

"Half a day... with you. Then she would come and bring me there. You won't have to... do this again."

You're not able to see Jing Yuan's face - and Jing Yuan wouldn't want you to see how he looked like right now. The arms around you is trembling, his mind is racing - trying to come up with anything to give him a bit more time with you.

But for once, the general that had a plan for every situation had nothing in mind.

He's lost. And the prize of the loss this time is losing you forever.

"General, I apologize for the rudeness of what I'm about to do, but this is for both of your safety," Jing Yuan hear Xueyi mutter from outside of the door, before he hears the rattling of the door frame start to slide open.

"Wait- no," it's a quiet request that gets ignored as Xueyi strides in alone, the lack of company making Jing Yuan's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"... Their last request along with the request for my late arrival here was for the Cloud Knights to not see you like this. Naturally I won't tell anyone of what I've seen today."

Jing Yuan doesn't care about that, he could care less about his image right now, pulling you closer to him while his eyes are downcast - he makes no move to hand you over to the judge.

The puppet judge before him does not say anything - nor does she make a move. What she does however is wait, wait for the general before her that has been utterly crushed and broken by the person in his arms start to accept the harsh truth once again.

If he doesn't handle the mara-struck himself, someone else would - but the end result only serves to punish him in the end, the one left behind.

Xueyi hears a silent breath be let out by the general, her once closed eyes opening up to see the general pull slightly away from you, one hand reaching up to cradle your cheek. Your eyes have long since closed, and you're most likely not even conscious to hear what he's about to say.

"My dear... I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you. But I'm afraid you'll have to wait a bit longer before we can meet again," he whispers, bumping his forehead against your own gently, "I hope you won't fault me for that."

A long ginkgo leaf flutters right between the two of you, eventually settling down on your chest.

Jing Yuan sucks in one last deep breath, "I'm sorry I kept you here for so long - I'm sorry you had to be in pain for so long because of me," he leans in to slot his lips one last time over your own, whispering something that Xueyi can't hear before he rises up, your body limp in his arms.

"Thank you for your service Miss Xueyi, please see them off appropiately." Jing Yuan says, voice sounding eerily calm - almost like his usual self.

When he turns around to finally face her, the puppet's lifeless eyes seem to grow a bit in surprise. Before her is the general of Luofu, his usual easy-going smile present on his lips.

Like he wasn't carrying his mara-struck lover in his arms.

"As much as I would want to accompany you to see them off, I'm afraid I have some urgent matters to attend to," he informs, handing your body over to Xueyi - she doesn't comment on how his hands are still slightly trembling or how he immediately turned a bit to the side to ignore staring at her head-on.

Even though Xueyi doesn't want to ask, she still asks either way, "What are your plans from here on, general?"

Jing Yuan only gives her a close eyed smile, turning his gaze towards the large ginkgo tree with his hands behind his back. He gnaws a tiny bit at his lips, finally breathing out.

A couple of seconds passes by before he opens his mouth.

"I think I'll meditate a bit under this tree before heading back to the Seat. I can't leave Luofu without me for too long after all."

5 SCRAPPED WORKS AND I'M STILL NOT ACTUALLY THAT SATISFIED BUT IF I KEEP THIS PIECE LONGER IN THE WORKS THE MORE I'LL BUTCHER IT SO HAHA - THIS IS THE BEST WE CAN DO AFTER 3 MONTHS OF CONSTANT BACK AND FORTH FELLAS. I HOPE IT SQUEEZED YOUR HEART A TINY BIT NONETHELESS.

#honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail imagines #hsr x reader #hsr x you #hsr imagines #star rail x reader #star rail imagines #star rail x you #honkai star rail angst #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x you #hsr jing yuan #jing yuan angst

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snax-writes · 9 months

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hehehehehehehehe im here to drown you in harvey requests (expect more)

ok this thought has just been in my head for ages, but what if harvey had a nickname for the reader that she couldn’t figure out where he got it from and it pisses her off when he uses it (note, she’s pissed cause she likes it and can’t hide her blush everytime he says it) and someone else tries to use that nickname w her? and harvey gets mad mad and finally explains that he’s the only one who can call her that

thank you so much :0

[hey, sorry it took so long! thank you so much for your request! it's not exactly like you described but i hope you like it anyway!]

Sunny - h. specter

summary: harvey has a nickname for you that for some reason no one else is allowed to use.

warnings: listen to easy by cro; slight possessiveness

word count: 391

You and Harvey were in the library looking for a precedent for a shared case, when Mike came in with a file in hand. „Sunny, I need advice on this case.”

“Uh-uh, you don’t call her Sunny.” Harvey interrupted before you could ask about Mike’s case.

You could see Harvey’s eyes glinting with something very close to anger. You noted that the case you two have been working on was a hard one, which was taxing on both of you, but a reaction like that over a nickname…

“Excuse me, Ma’am.” Mike turned to you as you stood up, handing you the file with an amused expression on his face.

You just shrugged your shoulders, studying the given information. “What’s your plan right now?”

“Slam the objection to the subpoena?”

“What’s your Plan B?”

“I’m working on finding more witnesses. The more people, the more I have a chance to a settlement.”

“That works. What do you need my help for?” You grinned proud of the younger associate.

“Okay.” Mike took a deep breath. “Thank you.”

He left the room as you turned back to Harvey, crossing your arms and raising your eyebrow. “What was that?”

“What was what, Sunny?” Harvey countered as he pretended to be engrossed in his work while against your will a subtle blush settled on your cheeks. Damn.

“You don’t call her Sunny.” You imitated Harvey.

“I don’t sound like that at all.”

“No, you sound like some Neanderthal protecting his food.”

“I’m sorry.” He apologized.

“You could make it up by finally explaining the nickname to me.” You sat on the desk.

“That’s not fair.”

“I seldom am.” You shrugged.

“That’s untrue.” He countered.

You hadn’t forgotten your request. “Harvey, don’t distract.”

And to your surprise he started singing quietly: “Sunny, yesterday my life was filled with rain. Sunny, you smiled at me and really eased the pain. The dark days are gone and the bright days are here. My sunny one shines so sincere.” He hesitated before continuing, “Sunny, one so true, I love you.”

Your hand found his bigger, warm one. “You’re cheesy.” You grinned.

“Maybe.” A soft smile appeared his lips.

“I fell for you a long time ago. You could have said something a lot sooner.” You stated and he kissed the back of your hand, letting out a relieved chuckle.

feedback is greatly appreciated! comment, reblog, talk in the tags, send me a message, tell me what you think, send a request!

if i missed a content warning, please tell me and i'll add it!

#harvey specter x reader #harvey specter #suits tv #snax writes

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captainzigo · 2 months

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Welcome to me blog

If you are a mutual, DM me for an invite to discord server and subsequently to minecraft server

if you aren’t a mutual, you can send DMs and asks to my sideblog @snapewife-divorce-lawyer

that’s a bunch of pictures of my oc(/ponysona) Prickly Pear. she’s a cowgirl

FAQ below the break

i do take requests. i do not currently take commissions, but don’t be shy about sending requests. i can always say no. or fuck it up really bad.

this is my art blog. you can send me asks and DMs at my other blog @snapewife-divorce-lawyer any asks you send me should be like Strongbad emails. one paragraph. no attachments. unless you are sending me refs.

i reblog most stuff at my other other blog: @3amgaypotion

you are fine to DM me, but remember i am not obligated to respond at all.

in any interactions, please keep in mind that i am a stranger on the internet and act accordingly

i am autistic. i say this because representation matters, but also because i would like to ask that you please be very frank with me. i don’t even really need your patience. just say what you mean and we will get along fine.

you most certainly can draw any of my ocs. i’d love that acually. tag me

you can redraw, dub or do whatever to my works with credit. i expect credit to include clickable links. also please try to keep the spirit of the original work. don’t add nsfw subtext for example. don’t redraw a ship art as a ship with an inappropriate age gap, and so on.

do not post my art on other platforms. do not repost my art period. I don’t really exist on other platforms since I deleted Twitter. So if you see my stuff on other platforms, it’s not me.

i’m in my twenties. i keep my blog SFW as a strict rule. PG13 except i swear a lot more. i do not keep myself that way, and i have no aversion to that sort of content, but i keep all of my posts SFW.

in my opinion, all romance real or fictional should be between people who are not related, similar in age, doing age appropriate things, all with mutual consent. i am not interested in witnessing or interacting with anything outside of these parameters.

i am a trans woman. i am also bisexual. i am also poly and demi since im listing things. i am out online becasue i know how important it is to know that you aren’t alone.

if you follow me and you post art, regardless of frequency or perceived quality, i want to be mutuals. shoot me a message or something

do i take constructive criticism? NO 🖕👹🖕 FUCK YOU!!!!!!! GET BLOCKED IDIOT!! unless you are a marginalized person who feels i have unintentionally made you uncomfortable somehow with my art or otherwise. in that case i am sorry and you do me a great favor by calling me out. OTHERWISE FUCK YOU DUMBASS IF YOU DONT LIKE MY ART GO DRAW YOUR OWN 🖕🖕🖕🖕

i don’t have a DNI list, but i am pretty left politically so you can probably imagine what’s on there.

“i hate bronies” i don’t necessarily hate you if you self identify with that label. i like to make myself off-putting to keep creeps away

i don’t hold a lot of nostalgia for old brony stuff. infact it’s quite the opposite

i like all generations of mlp including the new stuff. gen 4 is just the one i grew up with

why is my header aurora, bori and alice from the best gift ever? well that would be because i hate them like a mother hates a child. like the sun hates the moon. like sickly victorian child hates the slightest morsel of bread.

i often draw stuff about cozy glow x flurry heart. this is with the understanding that cozy glow spends about a decade turned to stone. nullifying the age gap.

i am dyslexic. i spell stuff wrong all the time and i type weird. please don’t bother correcting me. wooptydoo your brain is wired normally. sending you a medal.

i’ve had the same username since i debuted on the internet. zigo is the name of an oc i made that i dont really talk about anymore. zigo is a fine enough nickname and at least one person calls me that irl

#prickly pear #my ocs

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lovelywritinglady · 5 months

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This is my first request, I want to see how Tengen and his wives react to one of the wives (y/n) has been taking more naps then usual and hasn’t been walking around as much.

When they go to the hospital about it, they find out that it’s because the chronic pain (description: pain that last longer then three months no matter what medication they take) as well then having not much stamina.

Sorry if this is too complicated, I just been having a lot of trouble even getting out of bed without a walking stick. IM NOT EVEN FORTY

thank you

I shall do my best!! Thank you for requesting!

We’ll Take Care Of You

Tengen Uzui x fem!reader x wives

Fluff, mentions of polygamy, reader has a condition, slight angst.

Tengen Pov

Coming back from a month long mission was one of the best things to me. The look on my wives' faces when they see me again reminds me of all of the love I'm given. Currently I am a few steps from reaching my home when I hear my lovely wife, Suma, call that I am home. I smile at her excitment and quicken my pace as to not keep her and the others waiting too much longer.

Stepping into my rather large estate, I'm immedietly greeted with three bone crushing hugs and whines of worry. If I wasn't already sore from my fight earlier, then I'm definately sore now. Immedietly I wrap my large arms around their figures, but just as soon as my excitment comes, it is replaced with worry.

"Where is Y/n?" I ask my beautiful wives who are still wrapped around me.

"Oh, Lord Tengen, she is in bed. She hasn't been feeling too good for a while." Suma responed with a look of worry on her face now too.

"Is she sick and have you called a doctor?" I asked breaking a hug and looking to Makio and Hina for answers as well.

"We have and she has no sickness, she's just been in some pain and that has been causing her to be in bed a lot." Makio tells me.

"I'm going to go see her alone if that's okay with you three?" I tell them making my way to go see my Y/N.

"Of course, Lord Tengen, I'll make us some food in the meantime." Hina tells me as I'm walking to Y/n's room.

Slowly I opened the sliding door of her room only to be met with a lovely sleeping figure buried underneath blankets looking very comfortable. I slightly chuckled at the sight, but remembered that she has been sleeping an abnormal amount. Crouching down I wiped some loose strands of hair that fell on her somewhat peaceful face; thanking God that I get to witness the beautiful sight before me. Y/n then opened her eyes slightly giving me a smile.

"Lord Tengen, you're back!" She said quietly but the excitment in her voice was heard.

"Yes, and I hear that you have been sleeping a lot. My love, what is going on? Are you hurt in anyway?" I asked her as I laid down on the bed facing her and wrapping my right arm around her.

"I'm not so sure, my body aches all the time and I'm so sleepy. I'm sorry to have worried you Lord Tengen." Y/n says with tears prickling her eyes. Smiling at her I gently wipe the tears from her face and then carefully placing gentle kisses on her nose, forehead, cheeks, and finally a loving kiss on her soft lips. When I pulled away from her, she looked content and relaxed.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, my love. How about I take you to the hospital tomorrow so we can see what is hurtung my baby, hmm." I tell her as she nuzzles into my chest.

"Thank you, Lord Tengen." she says in a cute whisper.

"Of course, now I think you should try to eat something. Plus Hina is cooking and we both know how healing her cooking is." I joke

"Yeah, she's been making me food recently and Makio and Suma have been making me feel comfortable and have been taking care of me too. I'm so thankful to have them here." she tells me and I can tell that she's blushing from that thought.

"We all love and what to take care of you and won't rest until you're better." I reassured her as we both got up from the bed. Her legs were wobbly so I offered her a piggy back ride which she gladly accepted. "Now come on, lets get you fed." I told her as I began walking to the kitchen.

"I love you, Lord Tengen." She hummed

"I love you too" I responed flashing her a wink.

"Hey, what about me?" Suma whines from the kitchen.

"Yeah, you love me too right, Lord Tengen?" Makio chimes in with a fierce blush across her face. "Yeah, Yeah I love you guys too." I told them

The Next Day...

Y/n and I left to the doctors as soon as the sun peaked through the clouds. She wasn't feeling her best so I decided to hold her on my back. My sweet wife was so sleepy and I could tell that her eyes were heavy as she did her best to keep her head upright.

"Y/n, if you need to sleep that's okay. We'll be at the doctors in about 20 minutes if you'd like to sleep until then." I spoke sweetly to her.

"Okay, I am pretty tired." She whispered as she placed her head back on my shoulder and closed her eyes. Soon enough she was sound asleep.

"Heh, such a cute girl." I smiled making sure I treaded lightly as to not awake my sleepy wife.

About 20 minutes later, we arrived. My sweet Y/n was still asleep on my shoulder and I reluctantly woke her up and as I did she slowly open her beautiful eyes and let out such a small yawn. I slightly blushed at her cuteness and reached to give her a small kiss on her cheek. She smiled at me and then made her way off my back and immedietly put her hand in mine. I could tell she was nervous and she took a deep breath and practically pulled me into the doctors home. She walked up and introuduced herself and stated that she had an appointmemt. I was astonished by her strength and admired her flashiness. After a few minutes, the doctor came out and called out my wife's name.

"Uzui Y/n, Uzui Y/n? A small older woman asked scanning the room.

"Yes, that's me." Y/n said as she walked over to the doctor.

"Love, do you need me to go with you?" I aksed hopeful that she'd let me.

"No honey, i think I'd like to do this alone if that's alright." She told me as she reached up and gave me a quick kiss on my left cheek before following the doctor.

"See you soon." I whispered as I made my way to the front anxious as to what was going on with my love.

A little while later...

I was impatient awaiting the news of my sweet wife and what's been going on with her. There were a few times that I almost barged in and demanded to speak with the doctor myself, but I stopped myself out of fear of disappointing Y/n and my other wives. Taking a deep breath, I calmed myself once again only to hear footsteps and the sound of a door opening. There stood my wife with a strange expression on her face and the old lady doctor holding her arm. She immediately looked at me and gave me a sweet smile. I gave her one in return and just nearly ran towards her.

"So is she alright doc?" I asked embracing my wife.

"She's not dying if that's what you're concerned with. She has chronic pain and that's the reason that your lovely wife here hasn't be herself lately." the doctor explained

"Is there anything that we can do to cure it?" I asked worried for my wife.

"Yes, whatever you've been giving her as decreased her pain a little but it won't cure it. However, I have perscribed a special herbal tea and an ointment to put on any specific areas of pain. In a few months to a year your wife should be relitivly normal." She told me and then turned her attention to Y/n and gave her a reassuring smile.

"Lord Tengen, I think I'm going to be fine so please don't worry too much." Y/n spoke almost as if she knew that I was about to complain about how long her recovery would take.

"Alright, love, I trust you." I told her as I gently caressed her lovely face.

"Thank you for everything." Y/n said as she gave the doctor a small bow of gratitude.

"Anytime dear, and if those remedies don't work please feel free to come back so we can try something else out." the doctor spoke. She then gave us the tea and ointment meant for Y/n and the two of us were on our way home.

"Want to ride on my back again or are you feeling well enough to walk?" I asked my wife

"The doctor gave me a cup of that tea and it made me feel well enough to walk myself, so I'm gonna try to do that as long as I can." She told me which made me admire her strength.

"You're so flashy you know that." I complimented her

"You tell me that all the time, but thank you Lord Tengen." she giggled

About more than halfway to our home her pain got too much for her to bear. So I quickly put her on my back as we walked the rest of the way back to our home and back to our worried wives. As soon as we walked through the door and put Y/n down, Suma, Makio, and Hina all flocked to Y/n. She explained what was wring and the remedies to cure her pain.

"Oh Y/n I'm so glad that we know what will help you now and we promise to take care of you." Hina reassured

"Of course we will!" Makio and Suma spoke simultaneously

"Yeah, don't worry Y/n we'll take good care of you." I spoke to her as she gave me that sweet smile that I just adore so much.

Thank you so much for reading! I apologize for taking so long with the request. My writers block was crazy!

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csainz5 · 1 year

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SMOOTH OPERATOR: emphasis on the smooth

pairing: carlos sainz jr x reader

genre: fluff

words: 0.5k

warnings: none lmao its just carlos being adorable

author notes: this is my first post ever on tumblr!! sorry for any mistakes, i dont rlly have the energy to proofread this. im pretty nervous about posting this bc its been a while since i actually wrote, regardless, i hope you enjoy it!!

You're standing in the paddock, waiting for the next race to start, when you first see him. Carlos Sainz Jr., the rugged and charming driver of the Ferrari team, walks by and catches your eye. He flashes you a smile, and you feel a flutter in your stomach.

"Hey there," he says, coming over to you. "I couldn't help but notice you standing here all by yourself. Mind if I keep you company, hermosa?" You smile back, praying he doesn’t notice how your cheeks flush at the nickname. "Not at all. I'd love that."

Carlos leans in closer to you, his voice dropping an octave to a flirtatious whisper. "I have to admit, I've had my eye on you for a while now. You're even more beautiful up close."

You feel your cheeks flush as Carlos continues to talk to you, making you laugh with his quick wit and charming personality. You notice his eyes drifting between your eyes and your lips as you both speak. As the two of you chat, you can't help but feel a growing attraction to him. It made you wonder to yourself, how, and why carlos could be drifting towards you. You never pegged yourself a pretty woman, and the amount of attention carlos was paying to you admittedly made you nervous.

“You're not a fan of any of the other drivers, are you?" he asks, brown eyes drowning into yours. You shake your head, smiling. "No, not really. I just love the atmosphere here. It's electric." “But i am your favourite, surely?” your laughter fills the air as you reply, “we’ll see about that, Mr. confident”

Before you know it, it's time for Carlos to get ready for the race. He turns to you, a sly smile on his lips. "Before I go, there's something I have to ask you," he says, his eyes glittering with mischief. Your heart races as he leans in closer to you. "Would you be interested in giving me your number?" he asks, his voice low and sultry. “Yeah, sure” you speak, trying to keep your emotions in control as you type your number into his phone. He mumbles the digit to himself, content with how today was turning out. Leaning in close, his lips almost touching your ear, “Thanks. I'll give you a call." he says, “I have a feeling we would have a lot of fun together” “See you”

You bite your lip, feeling a thrill run through you. "I'll be waiting for you," you say, smiling seductively. As Carlos walks away, you can't help but feel excited about the race.

The crowd cheers as he speeds around the circuit, pushing his Ferrari to its limits. You hold your breath as he crosses the finish line, waiting for the results to come in. The announcement booms, ‘Carlos Sainz Jr. has taken pole position for the Spanish Grand Prix’ You jump up from your seat, cheering along with the rest of the crowd. You can hardly believe that the man you just gave your number to had just won the pole position. Your eyes flutter towards carlos, who shoots you a smug wink.

As the celebrations die down, your phone buzzes. You glance down and see that Carlos has sent you a message.

"Hey, it's Carlos. How about we celebrate my pole position tonight?"

You can't help but smile as you type out your reply. You might just be in for the ride of your life with this sexy and flirtatious driver.

#carlos sainz smut #carlos sainz jr #fluff #carlos sainz fluff #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz fanfic #carlos sainz fanfiction #f1 x reader #ferrari #carlos sainz 55 #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz blurb

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i23kazu · 4 months

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YING'S (OFFICIAL) THANK YOU POST

we've come to the end of ebg!!! it's been quite... a week... from seeing lantern bruneau to incredible lore dumps, you guys made it so so so fun hosting this round again ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡)

to the players: @jingyuansbird @dumbificat @dxy-drxxm @rainswept @abyssmal-skies @realkavehgf @staretes @meidnightrain @addictedtoreverse1999 @sleepypengwin @ryuryuryuyurboat @risustravelogue @xcyphoz0a @the-white-void @mikudoodles @crystalflygeo @relianascara @i-probably-sleep-too-much @faesther @chaoffee @haliyarobin @moonltwltz @starglitterz @snobwaffles @tokyodriftt @cerberuscaeli @kazumist

thank you for playing so enthusiastically! you guys were so enthusiastic with content creation (especially for the people who got npcs??? insane) and thank you all for being so so patient with me while i was getting my shit tgt and being v slow in collating (and also super scatterbrained, ty yeul and kurisu for keeping your scores in check!!!) you all made it so fun to host this round and im so so happy that i got to play with you all :") initially i was a little worried that we weren't going to hit 25 people for an interest check but!!! WAUGH!! we literally got to 27 players huehueuhehuee ty for joining me on this :")

to the tianquan squad, you know who you are!!! i kind of fizzled out in the end (i am so sorry.) but i hope you all got to sabotage and have fun too :") i hope to see you guys in the sign up form one day hehehe

to the anons, YALL WERE INSANE AND INCREDIBLE !!!! hexenzirkel and porcupine and upside down question mark and butter and so many more who i cant name off the top of my head rn – you all were so so so cool, thank you guys for being a part of this round :") you certainly made it so much more fun for our players and i hope i get to see you guys off anon one day, maybe in the sign up sheet ;)

to the people who sent sabotages, THANK YOU!!!! it takes so much effort to think of sabotages and send them to people consistently but the effort i saw this round absolutely blew me out of the water TuT so much was going on, so much lore especially WAUGH... you lot are insane and incredible and thank you so so much for making this ebg fun for the players :") you know who you are, thank you for your efforts – i see you and i appreciate you :")

to the people who wanted to play but missed the date/couldn't commit, thank you for wanting to play!!! i'll be hosting another round in a few months time, so i hope you'll get to join us :") witnessing all the crazy things that happened – i hope you get to partake in that same joy soon :') <3

and to you, reading this! thank you for dealing with the crazy amount of reblogs and lack of fics during this week :") i appreciate your patience so so much and i hope to get back to creating soon ^^ love u all and have a wonderful day :–) <3

#divider from bunnysprh #[📍regular broadcast!]#hehe. thank u from the bottom of my heart ily

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bunglegaydogs · 11 months

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listen its another dazai theory im sorry but he occupies my brain and i cant get him to leave

this ones a bit of a fucking mad one today lmao however, i was re-reading the fifteen light novel and i decided to look deeper into a query i'd always harboured towards one specific part of it, and that's the relationship between dazai and the old boss, so yk, let's get into it lmao

First of all, go check out this post:

it's a really good post, and it makes so many good points! Of course, my point does differ, but that doesn't matter, the quality and content of the post is amazing! Go show some love <333

This post ^^^ is the one that low-key kind of inspired me to make this theory. Anyways, onto the actual post lol.

So, the Previous Boss. A character that we know virtually nothing about, other than the fact that he was assassinated by Mori with Dazai as a witness, he was a savage leader and later became bedridden, to which his orders became chaotic and disorganised and ruthless. This is all that we know so far. So, not really much to go on. But that's why this is a theory :)

To be honest, it's a theory that's kind of canon in a way? Eh, anyways.

One of the number one things that stands out to me that makes me go "Ah! They're connected further than just a witness!" is in Fifteen, where this is said; (SPOILERS FOR FIFTEEN LIGHT NOVEL)

A distorted, crimson haze emerged from the other side of the subspace, and a figure appeared. "There… There is a nostalgic face. Hey, brat… Are you in good health? Have you been bullied by the doctor?" It was the old boss floating in the air, wearing a traditional, black robe. "Hey there." Dazai smiled stiffly. "It's been a while. How's your back pain? Your complexion is looking nice. Wasn't it a good thing you died? Boss—no, previous boss."

Like, hello? Ahh, it really gets me going fucking feral when Asagiri throws shit like this in. Love you king <3 So, this is clearly like... something, right? I don't know, maybe I am just pure rambling about nonsense this time. I probably don't make a lot of sense, I'm very much quite ill right now and I didn't get to sleep until like 8am, and even when I did I woke up like 3 hours later. I am very much running on fuck all. Anyways!

Let's go more in depth I guess.

"There… There is a nostalgic face. Hey, brat… Are you in good health? Have you been bullied by the doctor?"

"There... there is a nostalgic face." - Excuse me? Now, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that when Mori killed him, he was fucking bedridden and probably clinically insane fr. He was not right in the head or the body, and he was on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Once again, I'm no expert, but something tells me that he couldn't see Dazai across the fucking room, hiding in the fucking shadows. Fuck, we didn't even see him until the panel of him just... was there. Jumpscare fr. And again, as well as him being pretty hidden and quite a ways away, the Previous Boss was very ill, mans probably had fucking cataracts or something. My point is, there's a diminutive chance that he saw Dazai in the room. Plus, his remaining focus was on Mori, who was also basically obstructing Dazai from view. Suspicious much? Sorry sorry, lmao. Anyways yeah, it's just the "there is a nostalgic face" that gets me.

nostalgia

noun

noun: nostalgia; plural noun: nostalgias

a sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period in the past."I was overcome with acute nostalgia for my days at university"

(ofc nostalgia ain't always good like in this case lmao)

Honestly, one can only assume that Dazai and the previous boss had a connection before all this. The theory that appears to be most prominent is that Dazai is either the "rightful heir" to the Port Mafia and the previous boss' son, or that he was adopted by the previous boss. Both are very interesting theories, and I've looked into them and they have strong evidence tbh. They're pretty plausible :)

However, here's me with my bullshit theories that for some reason derail from what everyone else thinks.

I honestly don't think that he was the previous boss' son, however he very much could be, but I do think he had affiliations with him, whether that be his actual parents were affiliated with the Mafia, someone he knew, other distant family members, etc. However he was involved with the mafia, he was. (I'm not saying he was, I'm saying that any way you can think of would probably work lmao)

My point is that I think that Dazai has already grown up surrounded by this environment of violence and bloodshed and exploitation of others to get what you want. When Mori first meets him, he's already a cunning, enigmatic and manipulative child. Where on fucking earth could he have learned that, if not from the people he grew up with, whoever that may be?

Dazai's past will always be one of my top things to think about, because once we get his past, so fucking much might be revealed and explained, and honestly, I need to know fr. (I'm so sorry but 'Killing in the Name of' just came on and I must say, very fitting-) But yeah, sorry, getting off-track. My theory is that his past somehow links into the old boss somehow. Whether they knew each other for ten years or just one before Mori first met Dazai, I think that they definitely did know each other.

Also, another thing of importance to note is the fact that Dazai is still in a suit when he tries to kill himself and gets sent to Mori. Also, I don't know whether the bandages were because of the suicide attempt, or whether or not they're there from before he even attempted it. Personally, methinks it's the latter, but hey, that's not what we're talking about here. Another thing to mention is the fact that Dazai gets sent to Mori, a shady, underground doctor who's clinic is a neutral zone for any fighting and little wars going on between underground rings and gangs, and because at this point the previous boss was going on his rampage, it was sure to be a neutral ground from the mafia. Now, why was Dazai sent here? I've always theorised on this, but my newest one only just blossomed today lmao. One theory I had is that he was found somewhere by a gang member who took him to Mori because he was just like "Oh, a kid, take him to Mori or something." this one I guess is kind of plausible? More plausible than some others lmao. Another one that I had was that whether it was his family or not, the people he was with did not want any suspicion arising around them should they go to a normal hospital with Dazai or they just know Mori's a shady doctor that'll sort him out quick I guess. Another mad theory I had was that Dazai was raised in an orphanage and they didn't want anyone questioning why a child under their care ended up trying to kill themselves on the grounds of the orphanage, so they took him to Mori. (I have more theories on orphanage Dazai, it's one of the least plausible ones but it actually made a lot of sense when I looked deeper into it)

EITHER WAY, sorry, it's clearly suspicious and seedy that you'd send a 14 year old to an underground doctor who is known for being shady and underhanded. Just saying.

God, this got a bit out of hand. Anyways, the newest theory I had for this was that Dazai was under the "care" of the previous boss and had tried to kill himself, Mori got wind of this and took Dazai as his patient, knowing his relation with the previous boss and saw his opportunity to assassinate him, using the fact that Dazai is an acquanitance of the previous boss to his advantage, and the fact that he's his doctor (the previous boss'). Does this make sense or am I actually mentally unwell and just chatting shit?

Well, whatever lmao. Going more in depth into the little extract from Fifteen; "Are you in good health? Have you been bullied by the doctor?" Now, whatever the fuck this means I guess? I'm going to do a separate post about the second half of what he said, because what the fuck. Lmao, but for now, I'm mainly going to focus on the "Are you in good health?" I feel as if this is him not only mocking Dazai, but himself. Asking Dazai if he's in good health, because he's not because he was assassinated by Mori whilst Dazai watched, and he was bedridden towards the end of his life. And, he's mocking Dazai because just a couple days (weeks, months, idk the timeframe lmao) before he died, Dazai obviously was hospitalised because of his suicide attempt, plus the fact that Dazai is just... unhealthy anyways. He's underweight, covered in bandages, mentally unwell and just doesn't take care of himself and throws himself into dangerous situations and has very self-destructive tendencies, PLUS the fact that (not at 14-17 I'd hope lmao) he also drinks, like, that mf is not in a good state. So, I feel as if it's just taking a jab at that, as well as him holding resentment for being murdered when he was ill. Does that also make sense? Maybe not. Sleep-deprived bullshit, my bad. But, as much as it's him poking fun at the situation and the people involved (also it could be bc yk Mori's a doctor, haha funny joke, yk? lmao) I think it's also quite familiar? Like, you know, you see someone that you know, and ask if they're okay, if they're in good shape, especially if since when you last saw them they're very much not. It honestly should come across as a caring remark, but obviously it's not in this situation.

Lmao anyways, another snippet from Fifteen because holy shit;

The true form of the silver flash that cut Dazai was a long scythe as tall as a human being. The old man holding the handle of the scythe gave a muffled laugh. "Cruel… Truly heartless. The day has come where the kid will be beheaded by this hand." The old boss said with a hoarse voice. "But before that, I'd like to talk about my memories… You're an enemy to me even in this body." "Boss. You're no longer a human…" Randou told him gravely. "I used a formula to recreate your memories and personality from when you were alive to insert into my ability… You are simply my ability. And your mission is… to take Chuuya-kun's corpse while stopping Dazai-kun. With that scythe." "Ok, I understand. This soul is a piece of torn paper clinging to your ability. This body is an automatic doll with no interior or self consciousness… But, it's an incredible feeling." The old boss raised the scythe. A black cloth emerged from thin air and wrapped around him… like an old, western grim reaper.

This one got me rabid fr.

Let's go from the start.

The old man holding the handle of the scythe gave a muffled laugh. "Cruel... Truly heartless. The day has come where the kid will be beheaded by this hand."

Right. Right right right. Not only does he laugh after he slices the bitch, what I find interesting is the "Cruel... Truly heartless." Now, he could be referring to a plethora of things, so I'll go ahead and mention a few of them.

One of them could be him calling Dazai cruel and heartless, which is honestly how a lot of people see him and what he does sometimes come across as. He's calling him this because he stood by and watched him get murdered by his doctor, the one who was supposed to be taking care of him. (Again, this is all assuming that he knew Dazai was there, which apparently he did, but how?)

Another thing could be that he's saying it's cruel and heartless that he's having to murder a child. Maybe. But, as we know, he's a ruthless and uncaring man who would not hesitate to fucking deck a kid, so like.

Another thing could be just him being sarcastic about his next sentence, once again mocking and kind of belittling Dazai and making fun of him, because he's in an unfortunate predicament, much like he was.

Now, with a few of those out of the way, moving onto the next sentence which fucks me up.

"The day has come where the kid will be beheaded by this hand."

Now you old on just a fucking minute.

One thing I'd like to say is that typically, a beheading is used as a form of execution. (Also parallells Dazai's betrayal of the Mafia later. Could be me absolutely clutching at straws frantically but I like to make connections and stick to them lol.) And, of course, an execution is a form of punishment for someone betraying or going against any form of law or hierarchy. It's strange to me that he'd use this phrasing. Maybe he's saying this because he feels that Dazai should be punished for not stopping his assassination, and he is to execute him for betraying the Mafia by standing by and watching him die. But Dazai wasn't with the Mafia at this point. Once again returning to my point of their connection and that they knew each other, it could be his way of holding some bitter resentment towards Dazai for betraying him personally, and it's not just revenge he's hoping to get on him. The next bit that also gets me is the "The day has come" as if he's been waiting for this specific day for a while, since before he was assassinated. Gah, it's all so confusing. Also also, the repeated use of the previous boss using words like "kid" and "brat" are also interesting to me. He's really the only one to refer to Dazai that way, bar Chuuya and that one GSS soldier, who was like "The Port Mafia are recruiting kids now?" and of course, Chuuya and Dazai calling each other "brat" "punk" and "kid". It just feels... off, the way the previous boss keeps calling him this. I don't know if he refers to Dazai by his name at all, which could also be a reason as to why maybe they don't know each other at all, because it's of course a plausible line of thinking, as we haven't been given anything that says otherwise. I don't know, it just irks me.

The old boss said with a hoarse voice. "But before that, I'd like to talk about my memories… You're an enemy to me even in this body."

Also forgot to mention the "hoarse voice" when he's saying that to Dazai. That's a big hmmmmm moment fr. Anyways. This part really is so intriguing to me. "But before that, I'd like to talk about my memories... You're an enemy to me even in this body."

Hm? What was that? This part's really fucking suspicious to me. "I'd like to talk about my memories..." So, clearly, there's something in his memories (PLURAL) that he'd like to discuss with specifically Dazai, something so important that the one thing he's been waiting and itching to do must be put aside for the time being. It's the middle of the battle between the previous boss and Randou and Dazai and Chuuya, like, can it not wait?

Irks me, and the fact that (like I said) it's plural. He doesn't say "there's a memory I'd like to talk about." it's just "Let's talk about my memories" almost as if it's fucking all of them.

Then, the use of the elipsis with the jarring "...You're an enemy to me even in this body." is unsettling. He declares Dazai, a 15 year old, as his enemy. Not only has he made fun of him, slashed him up, threatened to behead him and possibly called him cruel and heartless, but he's now stating that he is his enemy, whether he is a corpse or whether he is alive and well, alive and sick, etc...

It's all around a little bit suspicious, if I do say so myself. The next part, where Randou interrupts and stops him in his tracks, is also highly important.

"Boss. You're no longer a human…" Randou told him gravely. "I used a formula to recreate your memories and personality from when you were alive to insert into my ability… You are simply my ability. And your mission is… to take Chuuya-kun's corpse while stopping Dazai-kun. With that scythe." "Ok, I understand. This soul is a piece of torn paper clinging to your ability. This body is an automatic doll with no interior or self consciousness… But, it's an incredible feeling." The old boss raised the scythe. A black cloth emerged from thin air and wrapped around him… like an old, western grim reaper.

(Laughing at the "Randou told him gravely" because he's fucking dead lmao, L)

THIS. THIS. THIS.

"Boss. You're no longer a human..."

SOUND FAMILIAR, YEAH YEAH?

The fact that this specific line was used is just... there's got to be more to it. Why would Asagiri choose to specifically use that? And don't forget when Kunikida also said the same exact thing to Dazai in 55 minutes. (SPOILERS FOR 55 MINUTES)

"The hell are you talking about?! 'Finally managed to die'? You're no longer human! You don't deserve that right! If you really want to die that much, I'll kill you myself! How about this?! And this?! How about from this angle?!"

It just strikes me as odd, the comparisons. Obviously, Dazai's ability being 'No Longer Human', the phrasing Randou used is strange. I don't know. Anyways lol.

"I used a formula to recreate your memories and personality from when you were alive to insert into my ability… You are simply my ability. And your mission is… to take Chuuya-kun's corpse while stopping Dazai-kun. With that scythe."

"I used a formula to recreate your memories and personality from when you were alive to insert into my ability..." So, as we see here, he is just the same as if he were alive and well. He's not just saying all this shit randomly, he has sound reason behind it and he remembers. He has his memories, emotions, etc. (I also want to know when and how he took the body into his sub-space, that's interesting). I don't know why Randou stops after saying "...while stopping Dazai-kun. With that scythe." I don't know, maybe he's just clarifying lol. Hm.

"Ok, I understand. This soul is a piece of torn paper clinging to your ability. This body is an automatic doll with no interior or self consciousness… But, it's an incredible feeling." The old boss raised the scythe. A black cloth emerged from thin air and wrapped around him… like an old, western grim reaper.

And just like that, he's over it. Lmao.

I like the comparison of the old boss the the Grim Reaper, I think that's really important. Especially considering he got his own throat slit by his evil doctor, but.

I think what's so interesting to me about it is that, as we know, Dazai constantly seeks and craves death. He chases after it non-stop, longing for a life that's not his own, and wishing for that one fateful encounter where maybe, he'll finally be able to die the way he wishes. Whilst other people run from death and are scared shitless by the concept of it as they run from the Grim Reaper, harbinger of their fear itself, Dazai actively seeks it. He runs after the Grim Reaper, praying that this time, maybe, he'll die. But as we know, he hasn't yet succeeded (technically he's succeeded twice lmao.) and he still chases relentlessy after him. So, I feel as if the comparison of the previous boss to "an old, western Grim Reaper" is important to note. Once again, I could just be babbling wham. Also, the way he's about to "kill" Dazai is fairly important. The second he raises his scythe, he becomes clothes and adorned in black cloth, like an executioner swinging his axe. A lot is being alluded to in these passages (passages?) that are repetitive themes throughout.

So, this probably made no sense, but honeslty, I just needed to get my jumbled thoughts out there.

In conclusion, I do believe that Dazai and the previous boss have some sort of connection, and I hope it's brought up again, and it wasn't just a one off or a misinterpretation of the scene. It seems really intriguing to me!

A lot of theories that I have seen include Dazai being "heir" to the Port Mafia and whilst that could be a plausible way of thinking, I just don't think so, but who am I to say?

Yes, he was in the room with the boss when Mori killed him; who's to say Mori didn't just bring him with him and say "He's under my care." or something? Maybe it wouldn't be that easy if the room was heavily guarded, especially because it's the Port Mafia's boss and many people are wanting to assassinate him, but they'd never suspect that his doctor would be up to something shady, and so what if he takes a kid in there with him? What's a 14 year old going to do?

Also, if the chances are that Dazai was "adopted" in a way by the previous boss, of course they'd let him go in with Mori, if they knew who he was.

And also, people saying about how why Mori would kick Dazai out of the Mafia at 18 is also due to the fact that he is indeed the rightful "heir" and he knows it, or something. But honestly, I don't know if that has much to do with it. I don't actually think that Mori expected Dazai to leave the Mafia; I don't think he understood the true impact Oda had on Dazai, because Mori doesn't know who Dazai is really. Dazai is cold, and doesn't show much emotion. However, it was a completely different story with Oda and Ango, and I think Mori didn't truly understand the extent that the fondness between them all went to. I think he wanted to keep Dazai under his thumb, reign him in, make him more obedient. If he could take some rogue compnents out of Dazai's life, it'd give him more reason to be more of a... mindless slave? To the Mafia? There's better phrasing, but do you get what I mean? With Oda's sacrifice, Mori killed about 6 birds with one stone. He got rid of Mimic, he got the permit he needed, he (if we exclude my theory of him trying to make Dazai more controlled) got rid of Dazai who was a threat to his position, he got the upper hand on the Division, etc etc. He really hit the nail on the head with that one move. But, in other aspects, it was indeed the wrong move. He lost a lot because of it. He lost the trust of Dazai as well as Dazai himself, he lost one of the most skilled ability users and a phenomenal assassin, also lost quite a few men along the way, (he already knew this but) he lost Ango, a skilled and resourceful information store (lol), etc. Confusing situation lol.

Anyways, sorry, went on a rant, but my point was that kicking Dazai out of the mafia for being the rightful "heir" wouldn't have done much. Dazai could still assassinate him if he wanted to be the boss. Which is why I think he has some underlying motive for doing what he did. Also, the fact that he seems genuinely dejected and angry when the Guild is fighting with them and he mentions that if Dazai were still here, the Guild would have been no match.

Also, a good point that the post I mentioned made was when Hirotsu mentioned specifically Dazai when talking about understanding Mori's motives, which I think was very interesting.

Now, this could probably be about anything, but it does seem like it's directed towards Mori assassinating the previous boss. It could also mean about sending Chuuya over to his location, kicking him out of the mafia (this is the one I low-key kind of think that he meant), etc. It could be a lot, but seemingly it's either only getting Dazai forced out of the Mafia or the previous boss' death. Interesting points all around and their analysis and theory is so so so good!!!

Anyways, this was a bit longer than I expected it to be, I hope it makes sense! Any questions, please please PLEASE feel free to ask! Because I have a lot more to say about this, but I can't write it unless prompted lmao.

Thank you for reading this far, my love <333

Have a lovely day/night! <333

#osamu dazai #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd analysis #bsd theory #ougai mori #oda sakunosuke #anime #analysis #theory #rant #sorry for rambling lmao #enjoy tho fr #ly all thank you

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collinnmckinley · 11 months

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I have blocked so many people in the 141 character tags. So over the disturbingly aggressive daddy kink and general OOC nonsense. Even with fics that are well-written and not as...gross, I still find myself really not liking the characterization or content. Makes me feel like we're not all playing the same game lol.

this is why i don't go into the tags anymore, and i certainly keep my dash clean by not following this type of heathens.

i am sure that, like, 90% of the fanfics written for cod characters on tumblr are all ooc, and i am with you on that point where even if it's not gross its all pretty ooc. and you said it yourself, its as if we didn't play the same game. such a turn off for me when they make price say something what basically an american man would say, price would never say cause he's fuckin british, like did we witness the same price? if im being honest most of the time idk how his mind works when he talks cause he is a sophisticated character when it comes to speaking... you cant just make him say something an american man would say. it's not only price btw, its with gaz and soap, especially soap.

i always wondered, how is it so hard to grasp a character's personality? like they played the game themself, and they've seen how its played out, so why would they twist and turn the character like that so you can fit the narrative you have in your mind? if anything they should twist their narrative to fit these characters in the writing! and if it's hard to grasp their personality, google is there to help, cod wiki is there to help, the gameplay for the original games are on youtube to help, literally you have the whole internet in your grasps to do research, makes no sense tbh.

sorry for the long one lol, but you're so right to think that way. and for me making a character super ooc like that is a huge pet peeve of mine and a massive turn off.

#jay answers #anonymous #oh man... i've opened the flood gate

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wifiwuxians · 4 months

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quick aside for my moment of befuddlement because ive always misunderstood the idiom "like a house on fire" LOL. i always thought it was a passive aggressive way of saying "dude, we would destroy each other lets not talk" so when i first read that I was like ??? context??? doesnt match??? did they misunderstand the idiom? DID I? then i googled it and you're right lol its a nice thing. (tho now i wanna put that in a fic bc i think that would be a delightful misunderstanding for characters to have). IM SO GLAD I MADE UR FUNK SLIGHTLY LESS FUNKY THO. you're great and you're super sweet ;w; if i had more self-confidence, i would definitely jump at the opportunity to befriend. maybe when i get more gutsy

BACK TO THE SONG LAN HATE THO. im sorry, im still in shock. just HOW. also..... how is my interpretation of them not the common one??? again, i stay so strictly to my lane i didnt know other lanes existed and i definitely dont want to hear about it bc i think song lan hate would hurt my heart. it already hurts my heart sometimes when i see xue yang hate and XUE YANG DESERVES IT. literally i despair at media literacy sometimes. i absolutely cannot understand how anyone consumed the same content as we did and decided to be mean to song lan.

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY A FAVORITE ARTIST, DUDE. have you fucking SEEN your stuff?!? like, are you as blind as xiao xingchen? (my sweetie, may he forever regain his sight). your art is GORGEOUS. absolutely worthy of being a fav artist and i am sure im not the only one. for starters, your pieces always have a depth to them that sets them in a scene so freaking beautifully EVEN WHEN THERES NO BG or even in your more simplified styles. when you come out with a "silly phone doodle of xue yang", i see the freaking SKILL needed to make THAT adorable lil gremlin as just a 'silly doodle'. like BRO, youre so skilled that i think youve lost depth of how good an artist you really are. i wish i was smarter with art words so i could tell you in color theory exactly why your colors are so beautiful but im dumb and all i know is "color pretty" BUT SINCE I CAN PORTRAY STUFF WITH WORDS SOMETIMES i'll try to just express how your colors alone can evoke emotion and tell a story, how you use the contrast to make your art pop off the page, the way that the colors caress a scene and show so much more inside. its beautiful, your art is beautiful, i can look at a piece for such a long time and still find interesting details that make me smile. oki i'll stop beng weird now but like NEVER DOUBT YOU'RE FREAKING SKILL BRO. (shit i didnt even get to how your animations just break my brain oeuihgo i love)

lolololol dw abt telling me about the cannibalisms piece, i look Specifically disrespectfully at that one. not big into cannibalism but damn dude, there is a Mood to that piece and frankly, something that messed up sort of suits them on their worst days euorhgioeurh i like me a fluff au or a fix-it fic but damn those two can get Dark.

My otps are often rarepairs ;A; i never do it on purpose, im normally jumping headfirst into a more popular ship but then i just See the potential in two other lil guys and im like.... holdup, wait is no one else seeing those two??? AM I THE ONLY ONE WITNESSING THIS? (yes, yes i am). And the hyperfixation begins and its just me alone at a bar with no bartenders so i make my own food. but im a weird lil guy so my cocktails are always strange and im alone at the bar lol. tbh songxue is one of my LESS rarepair rarepairs. like... theres actually fics that i didnt write for them LOL. (there was one fandom where there were 40 fics for a ship and i wrote all 40. i am a sad and lonely lil loser lol)

(scuse me one of my fav artists said they think i'd write my otp well, i can die happy oaierhgoeirh i actually do write ff for songxue but hahaha im still just a silly anon but its rlly good to know that the person i think characterizes them best in the fandom (that ive seen) thinks i would do a good job with them aoeghuihr thankyou for the high praise, i guarantee i dont deserve it)

(sometimes i've wondered if the reason you draw/write them so well is bc you dont ship them? weird take but like, shippers have shipping goggles right? we see what we wanna see a lot of the time. but since you just think they'd be neat standing next to each other (much agree), you actually put thought into their characterizations and personality instead of just "this is how they'd F*CK" or smth similar. and bc the personalities and stuff mean way more to me than sexy stuff (thats the whole reason i ship them! their personalities!) the fact that even your crack stuff has such a good basis in who they are as people makes your content just so good. whereas sometimes i see content by shippers (no disrespect meant, everyone ships in their own way), its very actively ooc, usually for a kink fill, and im just... but what abt their personalities? what abt the whole reason i think they'd be good together if given the chance?! WHAT ABOUT THEM? and then u come around drawing them like that and i just wish more people portrayed them the way you do. this isnt meant as like an anti-smut thing, i like smut, its just that sometimes pwp is just two strangers who happen to have the character names of my blorbos and literally nothing else in common and theyre my BLORBOS. more power to people who like that stuff, i will stay in my lane and bother this poor lovely person who doesnt even like the ship but is kind enough to see their potential to be pals cuz damn im in it for the emotions)

heh heh yeah it means we'd get along well but i like that interpretation too and think it would make a great story!! here's to you becoming more gutsy! (though again you're very free to use an alt or something!)

genuinely why i don't go looking lmao... song lan fans are so fucking strong to have to deal with the shit people have said BUT nowadays the climate seems to be a lot better :D i see lots of thirst for him at least KFHKDJ and my appreciation post of him has 800 notes so that's hopeful at least! but same i don't get it at all (though honestly i will say a lot of character hate stems from shipping. legit.) but yeah regarding xy hate for me it's gotta be for the "right" reasons LMAO

LJHLFHFD ALL THE COMPLIMENTS MY BRAIN CANT TAKE EM!!!! genuinely!!! THANK YOU!!!! i do often tell myself 'your stuff doesn't have to be perfect it just has to spark joy' to feel better about not rendering a piece to hell and back and mostly taking the lazy route, though this year i really wanna branch out and try more! but all of this has shot me in the heart... emotion to me is the most important part of art, and one of my favorite responses to get is laughter, and you don't need a 4K HD piece for that haha BUT LISTEN YOURE NOT WEIRD EVERY ARTIST I KNOW WOULD KILL TO HEAR THIS im gonna frame it. but after ive printed and eaten another copy like wow you think i set the scene ;_; will cry (agsjdhf sorry i really do read everything im just. PROCESSING!!!)

ahaha yeah for sure! i do love me some cannibalism (i am the cannibal friend) but absolutely that was just intended as a very dark place. song lan has Had it (the premise was xy thinking hey, he likes me, let me remove the nails i am sure everything will be fineOHNOOO)

oh dude i have chronic rarepair disease. most of what i ship is stuff i've come up with myself so any content is me + 2 souls maximum who i have managed to drag with me and make content KSGKFJ (case in point, xuechao) i just have this compulsion to do what nobody else has done

(you do deserve it! and dont go looking i wanna keep being the one who portrays them best :p)

and hey maybe because YES!!!! my work almost exclusively stems from personality oh my god thank you for acknowledging that i think that is the highest praise of all... how their personalities gel together is SUPER important for me, shipping or otherwise!! i'm telling you you and i would get along really well since we agree on the fundamentals i think! like yeah there's nothing wrong with some good old self indulgence but ooc takes me out of stuff a fair bit, and trust me i feel like most people would think MY stuff is ooc! but the thing about the strangers with blorbo names made me laugh so hard lhKDHJAfhsg i am so guilty of that in the past, i've read my old stuff and i'm just like damn. i just projected onto these dudes. NO MORE (it is bound to still happen privately but hey, ultimately, write what you want to read)

song lan and xue yang, in the 'if given the chance' realm, have exactly my favorite type of duo dynamism which is why i cannot stop drawing them lol like some funky spin on boke/tsukkomi... generally speaking ">:D -_-" is visually my favorite thing to draw haha and again! i wanna say it's not an all-out global dislike, i just a) understand most people are NOT coming at it from where i am so it doesn't interest me/makes me sad, and B) understand WHY people wouldn't be into it. because wow. um. ouch. that sure is some shit

i am gonna take a moment to plug an author i think you might really enjoy, pomegranites on ao3 (@pometogo on here!) ! i can't speak for Every flavor in there being to your tastes but there are definitely a fair few fics that made me bonkers, namely not easily let go, written for song lan love week :D

#long post #shin dont look #jic #who AM I i never do fic recs LOL #the fic i linked i treat it as a twin soul to your hands and mine #<- if you havent read this one pls. anyone seeing this. your hands and mine gotnocents ao3 thank yuo

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lveclouds · 2 years

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↬ pairing/characters: prince hoseok x princess reader x prince yoongi, other members will be mentioned/make appearances

↬ genre/aus: heavy angst, sad/bittersweet ending (yeah im so sorry), unrequited love (yeah this one’s going to hurt), there’s like zero fluff in this, royal au, slight arranged marriage au (sort of), childhood friends au

↬ summary: in which hoseok watches as the love of his life gets swept off their feet by his former best friend.

↬ rating(s): m, 18+ (see warnings)

↬ tw: heavy swearing, sad ending, unrequited love, heartbreak, heavy alcohol consumption/intoxication (hoseok gets a bit drunk in this fic, but it’s briefly mentioned), mentions of someone being drunk (brief) hoseok deserves a huge hug in this fic, confrontation (hoseok and yoongi talk things out), mentions of a falling out, mentions of a deceased family member (brief, due to sickness)

↬ wc: 5.5k

↬ note: this fic is part of the one direction x bts collab, hosted by @sunshinejunghoseokie <3 the idea for this collab came about whike we were talking in a little discord chat we have with @joonlery <3 as a former one direction stan, i am so excited to write a fic based off their songs <3 as always, shoutout to cam and honour for always being the sweetest ppl ever and for all the love + support i adore y’all so much:(((( + this fic is based off the song ‘moments’ by one direction, which is still one of my favorite songs of theirs to this day <3 also shoutout to cam for reading through this and helping me with warnings <3

the bright sun shone in through the massive windows of the castle, casting golden beams of light across the stone floors. hoseok could hear the faint chirping birds as they flew over the rafters, and allowed himself a small smile. he always loved the mornings, those quiet moments before the rest of the world woke, bathing in the tranquility and stillness.

the rest of the castle was still asleep, leaving hoseok to his own devices for a few hours, which he always took full advantage of. while having a warm breakfast prepared each morning was a perk, hoseok always felt a little guilty that his servants felt as if they had to attend to him at all times.

thus, hoseok tried to make sure to rise as early as he could to dress and possibly sneak down to the castle kitchen to see if there were any leftover cookies or pastries from the previous day’s breakfast. after grabbing a pastry or two, hoseok headed towards the royal gardens, where he loved to spend most of his time daydreaming and abandoning his royal duties, for they were awfully boring.

the early morning air was cool and crisp, and a gentle breeze washed over hoseok as he strolled through the garden, admiring the colorful flowers and foliage that decorated the space. each plant and flower was well-tended to, and the royal gardener, namjoon, saw to that.

hoseok let out a content sigh, settling onto a stone bench that he’d put there ages ago, wanting to be surrounded by the sweet smell of roses and the refreshing scent of pine. he let his mind wander, briefly forgetting about the responsibilities that he’d have to attend to later in the day, humming softly to himself.

being the sole heir to a well-established kingdom is something that could scare the wits out of anyone, for the idea of leading an entire nation made hoseok’s stomach curl with dread. nonetheless, in the end, it didn’t matter if hoseok had no desire to rule, it was his duty to carry out, being the only son of two of the most powerful monarchs in the land of esmeralda.

though, hoseok supposed, the pressure of being a good king was bearable, at least, with you in his life. he’d met you, the princess of genovia, when he was just the tender of age of eight, and you’d just turned ten, at yet another party that his parents had forced him to attend.

hoseok couldn’t remember who the celebration had been for, only that the royal garb that his mother had insisted he wear was itchy and uncomfortable, and he’d wanted to do nothing more than to run back to his bedchambers and change into his comfiest nightclothes. your family had also been invited to the grand celebration, being one of the most prominent royal families.

hoseok had sat by his mother all night, fidgeting ever so slightly in his chair, trying to keep a neutral expression on his face. she must’ve noticed that he was getting a bit restless, for when the nobles she’d been talking to turned away for a moment, she leaned down and whispered to him to go and play somewhere.

immediately, hoseok had ran as fast as his small legs could take him, far away from the ballroom full of obnoxious laughter and the dizzying scent of alcohol, to the garden, where he was alone with the flowers and the tall trees.

the night air was cool and crisp, and it’d rained earlier in the evening, so the faint smell of petrichor still lingered. hoseok had just settled onto the stone bench in the center of the garden when he heard a faint rustling a few feet away. he turned his head to see a girl possibly two years older than him, clutching nervously at her skirts, the dainty silver necklace dangling at her throat glowing softly in the pale moonlight.

“h-hello, i’m hoseok, what’s your name?” he’d said, keeping his voice as polite and friendly as possible, as not to scare the girl off. she hesitated, then mumbled in a soft, quiet voice, “i’m y/n.” hoseok had smiled for the first time that evening, and asked if you wanted to sit beside him and watch the stars. from then, an unlikely friendship had formed between you, and hoseok treasured every moment.

of course, his parents were delighted that their son had made a friend out of the princess of a powerful kingdom, and made a point of inviting you over constantly and showering you in gifts. you accepted all of them graciously, but then hoseok would helped you sneak out of the castle to give to the poor people in the nearby village.

hoseok admired how brave and courageous and selfless you were, insisting that while the gifts from his parents were appreciated, you had no use for them, and that it was better if they went to people that would make good use of the gifts. for the first time, he’d met someone who went against the norms of being a royal, and used your power for the greater good and to benefit others.

his relationship with you was nothing more than a close friendship, that is, until hoseok found himself falling in love. often times, he’d find himself staring at the soft curve of your mouth, and the way your lashes brushed against your brow bone every time you blinked. hoseok felt his pulse quicken at your charming and gentle smiles, and the tender look in your dark eyes when you saw a child light up when you’d hand them a picnic basket laden with homemade food.

people in the village adored you, amazed that someone of a such a position in the kingdom could be so humble and kind as to spend most of their time with the poor instead of nobles. you’d told hoseok as such one night, under the soft glow of the moon, resting your head against his shoulder.

the action was nothing new, as hoseok had grown accustomed to it over the course of your friendship, but it still made his heartbeat quicken all the same. “i know you must think i’m silly for wanting to give everything i have to those people, but it’s something i’ve always wanted to do. we’re royals, and i understand that we have a certain reputation to uphold, but must we ignore the needs of those who are crying out for help? they too deserve to be happy.”

it was right then and there that hoseok knew that he was in love with you. he loved how passionate you were about helping others, even if others might scorn you for it. you’d never cared about what others thought of you, especially the countless nobles that whispered about you, calling you ridiculous and strange.

“don’t mind them, hoseok, they’re only jealous that they can’t bring themselves to help others. the selfish bastards that they are.” word of your kind and generous nature did not go unheard by neighboring kingdoms, and thus began the countless visits from suitors.

hoseok hated seeing the gifts of jewelry and dresses and gold from the pompous princes that visited your castle, in hopes of courting you. it was absolute torture to simply watch as countless princes vyed for your hand, taking your hand in theirs and pressing a kiss to the back of it.

however, you seemed not the least bit interested, for you threw out or donated all the gifts your suitors gave you, much to your parents’ dismay, insisting that you “had no use for such frivolous things”, and that all the suitors were obnoxious and self-centered. hoseok couldn’t help but feel relieved that you weren’t the least bit deterred by the countless advances.

hoseok also struggled to decide if he should confess to you, not wanting to ruin the close bond that you had. then, when he’d finally mustered the courage to do so, his world came crashing down around him. it’d been a sunny day, of all things, and hoseok was making his daily visit to your kingdom, which was not too far from his own.

he was with you in the palace gardens, listening to you rant about the latest suitor you’d driven off, who, apparently, was insistent that he had a strong alcohol tolerance, and was determined to show off. and, in the middle of the lunch that the kitchen staff had prepared, he proceeded to drink at least three cups of wine before promptly passing out.

“it was embarrassing, i mean, if he just wanted to get drunk off his ass, he could’ve just gone to the local tavern.” you were saying, gesturing exuberantly with your hands. “honestly, you should’ve seen him, he looked like an absolute fool, stumbling over himself.”

hoseok had felt the corner of his mouth curve into an amused smile. “wish i could’ve been there then. a-also, i-i have something to confess to you.” a look of concern immediately flashed across your face. “of course, anything. you’re my dearest friend, hoseok.” friend. the word felt like a punch to the gut.

and, as hoseok was about to confess, your parents came rushing in, your mother practically beaming from ear to ear. “mother? what’s going on? why do you look so pleased?” “we just received word from the min kingdom. they’ve agreed that a union between our two kingdoms would be best to maintain peaceful relations.”

“what sort of relations?” “marriage, of course.” your mother had declared, and hoseok’s heart felt as if it were going to shatter into a million fragments. “your mother is right, this alliance is one that cannot be overlooked. besides, i’ve heard that the prince of the min kingdom is quite the charmer.” your father had said, with a pleased smile on his face. the look of defiance on your face did little to deter them from dragging you to the throne room hours later, where the mins were waiting.

hoseok could only give you a sympathetic smile as you moved to stand next to your parents, mouth twisted in a deep scowl. then, the mins came forward, bowing their heads. their son looked to be his age, with wavy dark hair that fell over sharp cheekbones, and hoseok couldn’t quite make out his face at first.

then, when the son lifted his head, a pale, thin hand brushing away a stray strand of hair that’d fallen across his forehead, hoseok immediately froze, feeling his heart drop into his stomach. it was min yoongi, the very person he once regarded as a dear friend.

they’d had a brutal falling out years ago, and hoseok hadn’t spoken to him since, and if he was being honest, didn’t exactly remember what had happened. yoongi was still as pale as ever, but his shoulders seemed broader than before, and his hair was longer, and more wavy.

his eyes were as still dark and unreadable as hoseok remembered, and the expression on his face gave nothing away. hoseok winced and shifted his gaze towards the front of the throne room, where you were sitting with your parents. the scowl on your face seemed to have disappeared, now replaced with a look of awe, as if you were mezmerized by yoongi.

hoseok had blinked back tears, refusing to let anyone, especially yoongi, see him cry. “your majesty, your highness, i’m honored that you are allowing me to court your daughter.” he said, bowing his head slightly, and to his surprise, your mother waved off his formalities with a dismissive hand.

“no need to be so formal, yoongi, after all, you’re marrying into our family.” your mother had said, dark eyes twinkling, and the aforementioned male’s pale cheeks flushed pink. “as you wish.” “now, why don’t you and y/n get acquainted?” yoongi’s mother suggested, cerulean eyes bright with joy. “that’s a wonderful idea!”

hoseok had felt his vision blur and his face grow hot, and fresh tears slid down his cheeks as you stepped down from your throne, offering your hand to yoongi, who gently took it in his and leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to the back of it.

he’d seen this exact gesture so many times, from many suitors, but this time, you didn’t curl your lip in disgust or roll your eyes like you normally did. hoseok saw a faint blush settle across your cheekbones as you looped your arm through yoongi’s, allowing him to guide you out of the throne room.

hoseok had had enough. unable to bear the anguish any longer, he dashed out of the throne room, grateful that he’d thought to hide behind the tall columns that surrounded the space, so that no one could see him cry. he ran all the way to the garden, grateful that yoongi hadn’t thought of taking you there, and collapsed onto the soft grass, not caring his clothes got stained. hot tears streamed down his face, body wracking with soft sobs, and hoseok clutched at his heart, curling his fingers in the soft fabric of his jacket.

it hurt, everything hurt, and now hoseok knew that there was no way that you’d ever reciprocate his feelings. he’d started to laugh bitterly, tears spilling from his eyes, for he was a fool for ever thinking that you’d love him back, that you’d see him as more than just a dear friend.

a friend. that’s all i’ll ever be to you, nothing more. love? how pointless. hoseok had never known true heartbreak, true anguish, but if this was what it’d felt like to have his heart broken, he wished he’d never fallen for you in the first place.

falling for you was my first and last mistake. hoseok had cried his eyes out for what seemed like an eternity, and later, as he sat numbly in a carriage on his way back home, eyes puffy and red-rimmed, he vowed to never love again.

“penny for your thoughts?” a voice said, and hoseok snapped out of his mini trance to see namjoon standing a few feet away, tending to some newly bloomed roses. he shook his head. “it’s nothing, i just spaced out, started to think about some tragic events that happened years ago.” this caused the taller male to frown. “tragic events?” he echoed, eyebrows furrowing with confusion.

“it was a complicated matter, but it’s over now.” it’d been three years since you’d gotten married to yoongi, and hoseok still wrote to you every now and then, but rarely saw you anymore. then, understanding dawned over namjoon’s face, and his dark green eyes softened. “is this about y/n? were you thinking about her again?”

hoseok mentally winced, hating that namjoon could read him like a book. “i was, my mind was wandering, and i guess i started to think about her and the day her parents married her off to yoongi.” a bitter chuckle spilled from his lips. “i must seem quite pathetic to you right now.”

namjoon shook his head. “not at all. grieving over your first love is not a strange thing, it’s normal.” hoseok sighed, carding his fingers through his now silver hair, which he’d dyed on a whim months ago. “i’m not sure why i’m still hung up about her. i mean, shouldn’t i have moved on by now?”

namjoon’s dark green eyes flashed with sympathy as he gently removed the leather gloves he was wearing, stuffing them into the pocket of the loose pants he was wearing. he sat down next to hoseok on the stone bench, stretching his long legs out in front of him.

“it’s understandable, why you haven’t moved on from her.” namjoon began, and hoseok mentally braced himself for whatever the taller male was about to say. over the years, hoseok had struck up an unlikely friendship with namjoon, who was kind and clumsy and very wise, despite his young age, and he found himself going to the taller male for advice on occasion. hoseok even told him about how you had broken his heart and gotten bethrothed to yoongi, who was once one of the people he held dear.

“she’s your first love, isn’t she?” hoseok managed a small nod. “and since she’s your first love and broke your heart, that makes the unrequited love that much more painful. besides, it’s only been three years, hoseok. it takes time to heal. if it takes you four or five years, then that’s perfectly fine. heartbreak and grief affect everyone differently, and everyone deals with it in their own ways. i suppose what i’m trying to say is that it’s okay to let yourself cry and grieve over her, it’s okay to feel the way that you do.”

hoseok blinked back tears, and gave his friend a grateful smile. “thank you, joon, you’ve always been a good friend to me.” the latter waved away his thanks with a lazy hand. “no need to thank me, that’s what friends are for, no? we’re supposed to cry and lean on each other, it’s sort of an unspoken agreement.”

“wait, joon, before you go, can i tell you something?” a gentle smile tugged at the corners of namjoon’s lips. “of course, anything.” he said easily, and hoseok felt his heart swell with gratitude. he exhaled slowly, clearing this throat, and began to tell namjoon what had had happened between him and yoongi on the day of the royal wedding.

hoseok had been staring at his reflection in the mirror for what’d seemed like hours, dressing himself in a daze. today was the day that the love of his life was getting married. to his former best friend, of all things. he hadn’t seen you since the day yoongi had come to visit, being too preoccupied with wedding preparations.

hoseok’s eyes drifted towards the neat stack of papers on his desk, and felt his heart ache. he’d kept every single letter you’d written him over the months, gushing about how amazing yoongi was, and that you were thrilled to be bethrothed to him. you also told him how much you missed him, and that you hoped to see him at the official ceremony.

of course, when the invitation had arrived via the royal messenger, hoseok hadn’t hesitated to accept it. he’d told the messenger to tell you that he would be in attendance, no matter what. after weeks of crying his eyes out and sulking in his bedchambers, hoseok had decided that enough was enough. he needed to get his act together.

so, he threw himself into his royal duties, attending every meeting his father required him to without complaint, and oversaw the building of the new armory in the east wing of the castle himself, no matter if he was exhausted from his history lessons with seokjin, the royal tutor.

and all of that led him to this day, this moment, waking before the sun rose on the horizon, heart aching impossibly in his chest. he’d gotten dressed in a dazed state, not bothering to summon any servants for assistance. hoseok shook his head, snapping himself out of his mini trance.

there was no time to space out and wallow in his own self pity. hoseok was going to be late to his best friend’s wedding if he didn’t hurry downstairs. after making sure that his jacket wasn’t wrinkled and that not a strand of hair on his head was out of place, hoseok raced out of his room.

the wedding ceremony was grand, as hoseok had anticipated, and the castle was filled with nobility from all over genovea, light chatter and loud laughter filling the air. you were beautiful as always in a long, lace dress with flowers embossed in the soft white fabric. the dress fit you like a glove, and your long, dark hair had been styled to perfection, falling in waves down your back.

yoongi had been in traditional wedding garb, which consisted of a dark jacket and pants, which were all tailored to fit his lithe figure. hoseok had decided to sit next to taehyung, jungkook, and jimin, the only princes he was truly close with, having met them at countless banquets and balls.

they also knew about how he felt about you, having confessed to them when he’d had one too many glasses of wine, and had given him sympathetic looks as you’d leaned in to kiss yoongi after the priest had declared you husband and wife. hoseok had torn his eyes away, not wanting to see yoongi reciprocate the kiss.

hoseok had spent the majority of the wedding standing by the large table laden with pastries, tiny cakes, and a plethora of other dishes that he couldn’t quite recall what they were. he’d been quietly sipping his champagne flute, watching as you glided across the ballroom floor, laughing as you were twirled and dipped, the dainty silver earrings you were wearing twinkling faintly in the dim lights of the room.

you were so breathtakingly beautiful, it nearly hurt to look at you. hoseok’s heart ached impossibly at the twinkle in your eyes, and how your eyes crinkled at the corners as you laughed and talked with the wedding guests. and, as yoongi twirled and dipped you, his hand wrapping around your waist, hoseok quickly blinked back tears.

hoseok felt a bit pathetic, for crying over someone who’d never know how much they meant to him, but in the moment, he couldn’t help it. you were his first love and the one person who always treated him not as prince hoseok, sole heir to the kingdom of esmeralda, but as jung hoseok, who was sensitive and was a romantic at heart.

despite himself, hoseok couldn’t help but feel happy for you, happy that you’d gotten the fairy-tale like ending you’d always wanted. he allowed himself a small smile, taking a long sip of champagne, the liquid burning his throat. then, an all-too familiar figure sidled up next to him, and hoseok immediately felt his entire body tense.

“hoseok, it’s been a while.” yoongi said in lieu of greeting, a strand of dark hair falling across his forehead, which he hastily brushed away. “it has.” hoseok muttered, tapping his fingers lightly on the rim of his champagne glass. an uncomfortable silence settled between them, and hoseok wracked his mind for an excuse to slip away.

much to his dismay, yoongi broke the silence first, clearing his throat awkwardly. “how have you been?” “i’ve been better.” hoseok said tightly, hoping that the former would get the hint and leave him the fuck alone. unfortunately, yoongi did no such thing. “i know things ended quite badly between us back then, and i wanted to apologize.”

hoseok pursed his lips together tightly, forcing a smile on his face. “what’s there to say? you made it very clear all those years ago that you wanted absolutely nothing to do with me and that i could, er, what was it you said? rot in hell?” his tone was pleasant, but there was a hint of malice hidden underneath.

yoongi winced imperceptibly, a sign he was uncomfortable. good, hoseok thought bitterly. “i said some awful things back then, mostly out of anger. i guess i was pissed that you thought i’d gone and courted princess jiwoo without your knowledge.” hoseok tensed at the mention of his deceased older sister.

“don’t you fucking dare say her name. you have no fucking right.” hoseok hissed, unable to maintain his calm composure any longer. “i’m sorry, it just slipped out. i know i have no right to utter her name, for i was the one who broke her heart.” hoseok thought he saw red as he dropped the champagne glass he was holding, glass shattering on the floor, and lunged towards yoongi, grabbing him by the collar of his jacket.

“you absolute bastard.” hoseok growled, tightening his grip on yoongi’s jacket. he saw nothing but guilt in the latter’s eyes, and yet, somehow, that made him even angrier. “broke her heart? you didn’t just do that, oh no, you ruined her fucking life. she loved you more than anything, and you tossed her aside as if she were nothing more than a piece of paper.”

“you think i wanted to hurt like her i did? to act as if she meant nothing to me?” “you certainly acted like you did.” hoseok spat, not bothering to hide the malice in his voice. yoongi’s dark eyes flashed with regret. “it was the only way to keep her safe.” “what the hell are you talking about?”

“there was threats of a war, hoseok. bandits from another kingdom were invading and stealing from numerous villages. there were rumors that they were even stealing women and children, taking them from their loved ones. i didn’t think much of it at first, but when reports started to come in that the same thing was happening in the villages surrounding my family’s kingdom, i got scared that jiwoo would be a victim. so, i decided the only way was to cut ties with her. permanently.”

hoseok blanched, grip loosening on the dark haired male’s jacket a bit. “breaking her heart was for her protection? i fail to see how this is justifiable.” yoongi sighed, the sound more exhausted than anything. “because there was a price on her head, and those bandits knew that she was connected to another powerful royal family, there’d be hell to pay.”

hoseok’s mind was whirling, mostly with shock and confusion and many, many, questions. he let go of yoongi, who simply smoothed out the wrinkles in his jacket, expression schooling itself into neutrality. “i think i need some air.” hoseok mumbled, voice barely audible over the hubbub happening around them.

yoongi gave a brief nod. “ok, well, lucky for you, i know the perfect place.” hoseok decided to follow after him, for there was no way he was not getting answers for what he’d just been told.

outside, the air was cool and crisp and refreshing against hoseok’s skin, and he exhaled softly, breathing in the faint scent of flowers and evergreen.

they were in the courtyard, hoseok noticed, which was littered with colorful flowers and the grass was green and lush, almost silver in the glow of the pale moonlight. “there was a price on jiwoo’s head? why didn’t you tell me?” hoseok blurted, and yoongi’s shoulders slumped, as if in defeat. “because i knew you would probably do something reckless, like go after the bandits yourself.” “i-i just don’t understand. why would you keep this from me? why would you leave me in the dark? you know how important jiwoo was to me, she was my sister.”

his voice broke at the end, and hoseok could no longer hold back the choked sob that spilled from his lips, and yoongi only watched with sad, dark eyes. hoseok was certain he looked an absolute wreck, with eyes puffy and red-rimmed, and his usually neat black curls askew.

“i guess it’s just hard to wrap my head around, but i guess i’m glad to know that you were at least trying to protect my sister, in your own way.” a sad smile tugged at the corners of yoongi’s mouth.

“i suppose. i also really do regret hurting her and you like i did. i hope that we can maybe become friends again one day. that is, if you’re up for it.”hoseok smiled for the first time that night. “i’d like that.”

“i’m honestly speechless. that’s quite the story, hoseok.” namjoon breathed, a bit stunned, and hoseok let out a soft chuckle. “yes, it is, isn’t it?” “have you spoken to him since then?”

“a few times. we send other letters every once in a while. we’re not exactly at the level of closeness we were before, but we’re getting there.” namjoon grinned, dimples indenting in his cheeks.

“progress is progress, no matter how little is made.” for the first time in a while, hoseok had never felt so light, and his heart bloomed with happiness, swelling impossibly in his chest, and couldn’t help but return namjoon’s grin with one of his own.

hoseok had a come a long way since that fateful day, when he felt as if happiness was no longer possible for him, no without you in this life, that is. he supposed namjoon was to thank for forcing him to stop sulking in his chambers all the time and go outside to get fresh air.

there were also those rougher days where hoseok would have one too many glasses wine, in a futile attempt to forget about the utter anguish and pain he’d endured. luckily, namjoon was there to take care of him the morning after, when his head was throbbing with a dull ache and his mind felt fuzzy.

taehyung, jimin, and jungkook also made a point to stop by esmeralda every now and then, dragging hoseok to the festivals, which were always full of laughter and pure, unadulterated joy, the smell of sweet candies and other delicacies lingering in the air. then, there was seokjin, who, instead of tutoring him over the ancient history of esmeralda, as his job entailed, amused hoseok by telling him the worst jokes he’d ever heard but still managed to make him laugh anyway.

then, there were the letters. the letters that you and yoongi had written to him, and hoseok kept all of them, for the thought of throwing them away felt cruel. hoseok read each one that came his way, smiling softly at the way you’d describe how happy you were, and that you missed him dearly and wished that he would come and visit sometime.

the letters to yoongi were a bit harder to read, hoseok would admit, for they came from the one person he thought he’d never talk to ever again. yoongi’s letters were short and simple, usually asking how he was doing and miscellaneous things, such as that he saw an adorable cat cross his path, or that he’d bought a huge crate of tangerines from the village farmer.

nonetheless, the letters were always welcome, and hoseok loved reading them word for word, longing for the day when he and yoongi would become friends again, and when he could see you. even though yoongi had wounded him so badly, hoseok secretly didn’t want their friendship to become a thing of the past.

though hoseok had initially resented yoongi for breaking his beloved sister’s heart, he thought deep down that the latter probably had had a reason for doing so. he was glad that yoongi had taken the initiative to repair their friendship, though things had gotten a bit out of hand at first.

all of that led him to this day, this moment, sitting with his closest friend in the royal garden, basking in the warm sun and inhaling the sweet scent of roses. hoseok wasn’t sure how long it’d take him to heal from the pain of the heartbreak you’d caused him, but with namjoon and his friends by his side, he was sure that the process wouldn’t be all the unbearable.

“are you alright? you spaced out for a bit.” namjoon asked, eyebrows furrowing with concern, snapping hoseok out of his mini trance. he shook his head. “i’m fine, just thinking. now, shall we go bother seokjin hyung until he tells us to fuck off?” namjoon grinned. “i’d love nothing more.”

a/n: hi my loves! so this was my first fic for the 1d x bangtan collab <3! i hope you all enjoyed this as much as i did writing it hehe and tysm to honour and cam for being the sweetest people ever and for reading every snippet i sent in our discord groupchat haha anyways i will see you with the joon fic next <3 also, i am still planning on releasing the last two fics of my ‘footnote’ series (i promise i haven’t forgotten about them) and, as always, feedback is always appreciated, and tysm to everyone who has read/liked my stories <3

tagging: @svt1117 , @blushingkoo , @taeyo95 , @jimilter , @aquagustd , @playmetheclassics , @sketchguk, @wonception , @raplinesmoon-main , @yoon2k , @baljinciaga , @codeinebelle, + anyone else who wants to be tagged <3

#mine #fic: dancing alone #btshoneyhive #btscarnivalnet #bangtanbathhouse #also yes idk how this turned out to be 5k but here we are haha

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