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#i am just bad at being visually distinct tbh
jessamakesart · 2 months
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Designing a dnd character (re-design maybe? I drew her some time ago and she's changed quite a bit since then). Wild magic sorcerers are my favorite thing to play.
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shinygoku · 2 months
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A Hard Day's Night (1964)
March is here and we have a strong entry for this CutCat Reviews Beatles Albums series! However I wanna specify that this is the Album and not the movie, though the Movie is something I'd like to delve into at a later date~
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I like the concept behind this cover, conveying some of their Range through multiple pictures. It was oddly hard to get a high resolution pic to put here (I ended up screenshotting the YT upload instead lmao), it's good the actual photos are high contrast. Far from my fav set of images but better than the US version lmao
Anyway, other than being the Album of the Film, this is notable for being the first All-Originals LP, as well as being very John heavy, with George leading vocals on one song, and Ringo having none. Before I hear 'em all, the ones that stick most in my mind are the title track and Can't Buy Me Love, so let's see how the whole album is to experience~
SIDE ONE
A Hard Day's Night: <TWAAAAAAANG--!> An amazing start (if a bit of a Headphones User Jumpscare) and a beautiful medley of their different instruments and vocals. The 2023 remix makes the distinct elements clearer, so I heartily endorse giving it a listen even if ya've heard the song or watched the movie hundreds of times!
I Should Have Known Better: Harmonica is still in heavy use here! After that, the first note is ...less than melodic, but the more words we get into the song the better it gets, until the chorus resets back to the long drawn out "I" again lol
If I Fell: The harmony really offers a pretty sound to this number. It kinda feels like a sequel song to I Wanna Hold Your Hand, albeit I do prefer that one. It's pretty but the way the Ex keeps coming up leaves me unsure of the intended Vibe. I like it more in the Film where John is serenading Ringo tbh :3c
I'm Happy Just to Dance With You: Oh hey, George! And dang, this is the 2nd song to reference Holding Hands, and again it isn't as bodacious as that, but I am enjoying this song on its own merits lmao. It's jaunty and yet casual, there's a warmth to the energy here. It's straightforward and sweet, I'd even go as far as to say it's a hidden gem, and the bass and drums have me moving about~
And I Love Her: A pretty Paul song that perhaps feels more like poetry. Groovy guitars and bongos lend a good atmosphere, and the lyrics paint a nice visual. It kinda feels like the sort of song that is best on a nighttime drive, even though vinyls weren't made for cars lol, just a nice vibe to it...
Tell Me Why: This album has a lot of distinct openings already, doesn't it? This is a Displeased Song, but there's a good groove occuring and dope vocal syncing. Like I Should Have Known Better, I prefer the parts of the song that aren't the title, however this one grows more on me than that lol. Annoyingly, this was not given a 2023 remix, so the lovely drumming work isn't as apparent as it deserves!
Can't Buy Me Love: CAN'T BUY ME LOOOO-OOOVE !! Like, man! That's another hugely catchy opening and refrain, innit~ It's all too easy to be cynical and point out how much cash these lads were raking in, but the words still ring as the truth, and the song is an all-around Bop! I like the little pauses in the instruments each time the "I don't care too much for money" line returns, it's all punctuated so nicely, and the SCREAM! And then an instrumental break between that and looping back into the verse is such an aural treat~
SIDE TWO
Any Time At All: Hmmm, sounds like it's aping From Me To You in sentiments, though obviously the melody of this is different. I'm inclined to put this in the heap of "Original Beatle Songs that still get lost in the shuffle even though it's perfectly decent", but not a hidden gem like I'm Happy Just To Dance With You is lol
I'll Cry Instead: A Bluesy number with a nice rhythm and fun uhh, middle eight? Though the vengeful flavour dampers my enjoyment, what have these "other girls" done to earn your threats, hm? It's not bad but it's not appealing.
Things We Said Today: Ahh yes, the famous reverse-nostalgia song! I like the sentiments but this time the music doesn't feel as memorable and hum-able. The chorus amps the energy up but this Paul one is firmly in the shadow of the other two solos he did on this album. But he do be right; love IS love!
When I Get Home: Hmmm..... this one ain't making a strong impression. The main thought I have is how it's title is similar to the refrain in AHDN "when I get home to you", but without the dope energy that one has. I'm starting to think they frontloaded this album, but there's still a couple'a songs left...!
You Can't Do That: I'm listening to the 2023 version and ooh hi Cowbell! ...wait a sec, a jealousy song? One with threats woven into it? :/ .....how come this was selected for the '23 Red Album? The chorus sounds better but nah, this ain't doing it for me.
I'll Be Back: Hmmm, after the Terminator video suggestions, I opened this song for a creepy stalker song [albeit with good instruments]. I'm bored of these vibes on side two!!!!
CONCLUSION
Best 3: A Hard Day's Night, And I Love Her, Can't Buy Me Love
Blurst 3: I'll Cry Instead, You Can't Do That, I'll Be Back
Overall Quality?: Woooow what a beast of two halves!! Side 1 is hit after hit with all the memorable numbers, and I was starting to wonder if this album was the stealth early best?? And then Side 2 is mostly "Meh" to "Ouugh I don't like this!". Damn. I guess overall I'd say it's Uneven, but with the caveat that side 1 is a lot better overall than the average set by Please Please Me and With The Beatles. Maybe they shoulda crammed a Ringo song in? ¬w¬;;
It's really annoying that Side Two drags it down so much. I like 3's but I'm Happy Just To Dance With You is a close contender for the top 3, but the ones I selected are just soooo Iconic, innit. If I was judging the album just based on the first side I'd say it's Really Great, but I'll hafta save more glowing praise for an album that has it all later down the line...
🪲🪲🪲🪲
Next tiiiiime, on Beatles Ball Z... we see the burnout that occurs after a film, an all-originals album, and of course, the Beatlemania that had them charged at by excited girls and weirdo reporters. Find out what happens in Beatles For Sale!
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multi-lefaiye · 2 years
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OK SO I THINK SCOOB ONLY HAVING PARTIAL CYAN EYES MIGHT MEAN HIS CONNECTION TO CYAN IS IFFY? He does mention he cant maintain his Ballyhoo as long anymore, and he tells Shaggy he still doesn't have all his memories yet, so i think its just a case of it only being there rarely? We also do see that the blessing isn't an "on" or "off" thing, but that its a slider, so maybe that has something to do with it? I think its just a visual thing though, idk if we're gonna get anyone with like 25% of a blessing
I ALSO WANNA ADD SOMETHING THAT IM GENUINELY NOT SURE IS ME OVER-ANALYZING OR IS INTENTIONAL BUT THE LITTLE STAR SHAPE SHOWS UP SO MUCH? We see it first when Scoob uses his ballyhoo- Its even the thumbnail! but we also see it:
- chapt 45, the stars
- chapt 75, Power ends in a star when i think for patrick he just. disappears. Important to note that patrick just DIES when mickey has no gift, but gun man (IM SO BAD WITH NAMES) ends in a star. It hink Power only gained the ability to turn On when Mickey made the deal.
- chapt 75 again, the SFX have stars
- chapt 86, Shaggy 2's jumpcut has a little star
- 91, the tv has a star, also the stars in the sky
THERES PROBABLY MORE (i just glanced at the parts i remembered it), BUT I JUST REALLY NOTICED HOW COMMON OF A SHAPE IT IS IN THE SERIES. Maybe its just the artstyle, idk but it just stands out a LOT once you see it
Also in support of u and what characters r attractive ill go first. Shag and Gadget. Thats it thats the list. Im gay as hell. Also Gadget's eyes showing the "?" is peak design, ty for coming to my ted talk-
YEAH THAT MAKES SENSE!!! I think that's correct honestly--I definitely think that Scooby made a deal of some kind and that's what we're supposed to take from it, but 100% it seems the nature of it isn't the same as the other deals we've seen. At the very least, the fact that he's had his memories wiped is affecting it. Also, you have a good point about the slider--I think that's a really interesting detail tbh?? So there's a chance Scoob's slider isn't turned up all the way.
ALSO LISTEN OKAY OVERANALYSIS IS THE NAME OF THE GAME!!!! I think it's fair to say that a lot of what we've talked about doesn't have canon answers yet, but that doesn't mean we can't speculate!!! Also literally overanalyzing media is fun.
BUT YEAH THAT'S A REALLY INTERESTING THING TO POINT OUT.... I think it could be a part of the art style, but it's an interesting piece of symbolism to bring up again and again. I'm not sure of what I think the implication of this is yet, but if you have any other thoughts please absolutely send them my way.
Also thank you <3 I'm answering this before posting my list, but I hope you like it because I am unashamed in thinking this fucking comic has some really hot characters. Okay, that's a lie, I'm a LITTLE ashamed, but only in a joking way. Also you're SO FUCKING RIGHT... both of them are on the list <3 I remember when Gadget first showed up I messaged a bunch of my friends saying "IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR WHY'D THEY MAKE INSPECTOR GADGET HOT." So uh that's the that on that <3
EDIT: YOUR POINT ABOUT POWER IS ALSO MAKING ME THINK WAIT- Because yeah that is an interesting distinction!!!! Like... it seems the blessings from entities amplify whatever ballyhoo already exists in some way, so it’d make sense that THAT’S how Mick is so fucking powerful, to the point of having nothing that can counter him.
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Honestly I keep seeing people say they know objectively good/bad writing and aren't swayed by their own wants/preferences/tastes like they are some kind of authority and I think it optimizers a lot of the conflict in fandom tbh.
and I'm sure I'm kind of a hypocrite about this because I also think I can identify good/bad writing in many cases, and I know there have been many times when I've failed to make the distinction between "it sucked" and "I didn't like it" (see: literally any time I start talking about Endgame, which pretty quickly turns into like a 30-minute rant, although in my defense I can also identify aspects of it that I liked or that I think worked well...and, okay, any time I start talking about the Loki episodes of What If BUT IN MY DEFENSE A LOT OF THAT IS FACTUALLY WRONG OR STRAIGHT-UP DOESN'T MAKE SENSE), and probably the only reason I'm annoyed about this now is that a lot of people in the fandom are saying a thing I liked was objectively bad--
but, I mean, there are so many ways in which a thing can be good or bad, so many different levels on which it can work or not work, and only some of those things can really be measured objectively in any reasonable way. like, I don't know, "did the settings and visual effects look real enough to avoid breaking immersion" is at least somewhat objective, but even that will vary from person to person based on how closely they're paying attention, how familiar they are with the conventions of that setting, and how much they already know about filmmaking techniques, and what looks real will vary a lot depending on the piece's setting, genre, and desired tone. and that's just one aspect on which a piece of media can be judged!
so it honestly seems very very weird to me that people tend to be so comfortable making sweeping statements that a given thing is Just Plain Bad. like--was every single bit of it poorly written in every conceivable way? did every single visual effect, practical and CG alike, look universally terrible? was all the acting bad, every character, all the time? was the characterization wrong, or do people legitimately have different opinions on that too because we all prioritized different aspects of previously established characterization? it didn't work for you, but clearly it did work for a lot of people, so is it reasonable to say it didn't work at all?
it's especially kind of interesting in the context of the Loki show (which, yes, is what I'm really talking about, because when am I not thinking about something Loki-related), given that there's such a wide array of opinions on it across different types of fans. I wish I had actual data on this, but anecdotally speaking, my sense is that newer or previously more casual fans were more likely to enjoy it, and people who hated it were more likely to be long-term/serious fans who disliked it for reasons specifically related to being long-term/serious fans, and I do think that's...unfortunate and kinda sad in general, and I wish the second part weren't the case? but it's also by no means universally true, at least in the "all REAL Loki fans hated the show" sense (like. I may have imposter syndrome about a lot of things but I think my Loki-fan cred is well established in many different ways, and I know there are plenty of other people who can say the same thing), so pretty much any generalization that uses that approach for a statement of objective quality is by nature inaccurate.
and it's also interesting in terms of aspects broadly enjoyed by everyone including those who generally didn't like the show. pretty much everybody latched onto Gator Loki, for instance, even though (because?) the whole concept is pretty silly. Classic Loki also seems to have been received pretty positively, which is fascinating to me because he's honestly kind of a sticking point for me as someone who liked the show in general! don't get me wrong, I liked the character (although...he also seemed to be the most obsessed with the "glorious purpose" concept/catchphrase, so that's...kind of another uphill battle for anybody who wants to argue that his characterization was the closest to Loki's previously established characterization), but I can't get over the fact that there was no in-world justification for his stupid costume, which is exactly the type of thing that people who generally disliked the show would otherwise point to as an example of sloppy writing/worldbuilding/characterization.
I'm not even sure what point I'm trying to get to here, aside from...you know, people like different things! texts are judged on gazillions of different standards in gazillions of different ways, to the point that it's really difficult to say that a thing is across-the-board objectively bad or good! what doesn't work for one person might be exactly what another person was looking for, and neither of their opinions are guaranteed to provide any information on the objective quality of a text! sweeping generalizations are almost never accurate, fair, or interesting! please don't make me regret posting this! thanks for coming to my TED talk!
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akajustmerry · 3 years
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Hi merry ik this is a super broad and vague qn but the other day my friend was saying she liked dc movies more than marvel Except that marvel has better cinematography and I ???? Hv never heard anyone say that in my life?? And like most of my friends agreed???? Anyway what do u think I trust u when it comes to this stuff cuz ur not like an mcu Stan or wtv u know u just appreciate superhero movies ✌🏽sorry to ask u a marvel/dc qn but I am truly just baffled 🤧
hello! thank u 💕 and tbh that opinion baffles me too?? cinematography is about presenting a mood, an emotion, evoking perspective and narrative with how the scene is filmed. in the case of marvel vs dc, very broadly I'd say the cinematic universes have very different ethos as to how they approach cinematography.
dc tends to be more varied, with each project having a relatively unique cinematography style usually indicative of the director and the vibe of the project overall. Cathy Yan's distinct and detailed vibrancy in birds of prey, deployed in service of showing us Harley's world, is a wonderful example. So is Snyder's biblically grandiose approach to superman in Man of Steel, and James Wan's lingering, sprawling take on Aquaman is also beautiful. None of these three films are filmed in a similar way. They're filmed uniquely to suit their subjects (as unique as a blockbuster can be anyway).
On the other hand, Marvel approaches cinematography in a more uniform way. We know this, not just from looking at the films themselves but from directors like Edgar Wright who were kicked off marvel projects early for refusing to conform to the mcu's creative standard when it comes to cinematography. That's not to say that there's no uniqueness at all, but the mcu leans on a consistent uniform look. The look isn't... Bad. The cinematography does a very tickabox job that looks fine. But there's very little flare or risk in what you see.
There's a big lack of flare and risk because the mcu is a branded product more than it is a story. And Disney needs to be able to sell their brand as widely and consistently as possible and the best way to do that is by creating a product that appeals to as many people as possible. So u find a formula, a look, a style that the most amount of people like and understand and you stick to it. which is what they've done. there's occasionally a little risk, here n there to keep things from being totally stale but generally it's a one size fits all.
people are always more comfortable with consistency and uniformity, it's human nature. so it's much easier to look at the mcu, see that it's cinematography all looks more or less the same and conclude it's better because it has a uniformity. the dccu is often criticised for lacking consistency in style but I think that it's a good thing that for better (birds of prey) or worse (james gunn suicide squad), dc let's it's creatives give their projects unique styles.
I think your friends are just more comfortable with uniformity and mistake that for better quality, despite the two concepts rarely ever being connected. kinda reminds me of how Apple users are always banging on about Apple products being better than the entire market despite that being objectively untrue for years. It's just because that's what they've been sold, that's what they're most comfortable with.
what do I think?? Between dc and the mcu, dc has far more interesting cinematography across the board because its allowed to be relatively varied, but most ppl view that as a negative because the mcu sells itself on uniformed superiority and ppl eat it UP. If Disney let mcu directors actually imbue projects with their unique visual styles like dc?? would be SICK. but the closest they ever came was Thor ragnarok and even then EVEN then it's still pretty safe 💀
hope that answered the question! x
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samatedeansbroccoli · 3 years
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Since @major-fukkup mentioned it, here is a reason why I like BO3 so much despite the many flaws.
And believe me, I could go on about this for a long time. I love this campaign.
So shall we do this classic stressfulviewing style? I think so.
For the record, I imagine Player with he/him pronouns.
General thoughts
I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THE STORY TO THIS!! Granted it’s a very difficult story to understand and it takes a few viewings to really appreciate it. But it’a such a good mindfuck and it left me absolutely floored when it finally hit me that the story was about fear of loss. For Player, it was fear of losing his life. For Kane, fear of losing John. For Hendricks, fear of losing his mind. For Corvus, fear of losing faith in his identity. And so much more. And the creeping threat of Corvus over the campaign’s time helps solidify that fear, starting off with an “oh we’re just ‘recovering’ from surgery and vibing with Hendricks” and becoming “oh fuck, this shit is real.” I genuinely remember being scared my first watch through at the end.
ALSO the line between good and evil is busted. Every character was given the proper attention as to why they were doing something, and some of the characters made you feel bad if you killed them. This is something MW19 is best known for, and it was fun to experience that in BO3 as well.
And now, a couple highlight moments:
•Weapons: See, I come from COD: Mobile, and the majority of the weapons there are from BO3 (and I believe COD 4). And so the sheer fact that I knew what every gun sounded like as I watched it was enough to make me happy.
•Music: I’m the type of person that will sacrifice my understanding of the story and miss dialogue solely to hear the soundtrack, and this is because the music is so quiet in the background except for the major scenes. But music tells a huge part of the story, and BO3 leans into that a lot. Each theme was distinct, and you could follow the story easily just by listening to the music (for example, there’s a solo female voice for Player’s death theme, and every time DNI is mentioned, the death theme and the Frozen Forest slowly combine together into a harmonious peaceful but haunting tune until only the Frozen Forest theme remains when Player accepts death (I could go way into music about BO3 tbh))
•GOH XULAN IS PRETTY
•Nuff said.
•Also PLAYER’S MAKE VOICE IS 👌
•I love Corvus’ design. And I love how it would travel in a pack of ravens (if you don’t know, Corvus means raven in Latin). Of course, Corvus as a character was just as good. Sure, on surface level, it was a virus infecting people and making them go bonkers, but I love how its motive wasn’t even out of malice. It genuinely wanted to save Player and figure out where it was supposed to fit into the world. Really made me feel for a virus, which is something I never imagined myself saying but here we are.
•I really liked Player’s dry humor. I know a lot of people hated that and said “It makes him so unrelatable!” but honestly, it was something I would do in an effort to make a dark situation light.
•The level design. While all CODs have really awesome level designs, I love the color variety of BO3. A lot of the settings are dark, thick green foliage, sandy, or grey buildings. BO3 had so much color variety from the wintry white, to the rolling fields, the explosions, the reticles, so many little touches to color that made it visually appealing.
•Khalil and Hendricks must be protected at all costs. Need I say more?
•Kane <3
•The “still there?” Characters snapped fingers before Player’s eyes, kept asking “Still with us?” or would should “HEY!” at Player multiple times. All of this replicated what doctors do to check if they’re losing a patient. It was such a satisfying detail to see how Player kept spacing out (the character would go stiff and stare into the distance, or would get lost in thought).
•Additionally, the occasional “where am I?” in the safehouse dialogue (the safehouse dialogue has to be some of my favorite dialogue sections) to show that Player’s actual memories are colliding with Taylor’s. And I think part of that “what is going on” feeling is sold in the missions with some of the objectives being a bit vague (apparently this worked too well for most COD players) but as you go along, more details reveal the true objective.
•Also the scene where Player is glitching from 1st to 3rd person? Absolute golden. Shit’s going wrong, Taylor comes running to try and save Player, but then gets pulled away by the doctors as Player goes into he last minutes of his life and both he and Corvus are fighting to stay alive. Such a golden scene. I would have loved to see that concept utilized a little more in the game because I think that would have made leagues of a difference in general understanding.
Can you tell I love this campaign?
Anything you didn’t like?
Oh yeah. Some stuff. I still think some of the dialogue is god-awful and I found the violence a little too much sometimes. I mean in all honesty, awesome concept, poor execution. That’s all. I love the game but I will easily agree with anyone who goes “this was terrible” because they’re not wrong. It’a a difficult story and wasn’t given the proper love it should have.
Not that I care. I love how it brings a different side to the COD games and runs from a ‘linear’ P.O.V. where the only story you need to focus on is Player’s story, and the pieces of the puzzle are all there explicitly said to you, but they only fit together when the campaign is over.
9.5/10 for me!
Also, it’s late at night when I wrote this so I may sound a bit drunk or something.
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spockandawe · 4 years
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Okay, I want to pull together more detailed thoughts at some point, I think, because the sheer amount of material means I have about ten billion thoughts to sort out. But I’ve read all three of the mxtx novels now, and loved all of them, in different ways. Though I already tried to figure out if I can pick a Favorite, and tbh, I can’t. I love them all in ways that are too distinct to let me rank them easily. And... man, it’s lucky for my friends that social distancing is in place, or I’d be hassling them shamelessly to give these novels a try.
RIGHT. So.
The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System: Shen Yuan goes to bed full of rage directed at a trashy webnovel with a grimdark blackened hero who conquered the world and collected hundreds of women into his harem.... and wakes up in novel, while that hero is still an innocent youth. As the hero’s abusive teacher. Who is doomed for a horrifying death unless he can somehow turn things around.
I think I had the most fun with this one. I really enjoy self-referential stories, and stories poking fun at certain genres, and I’ve run into the concept of transmigration before (the idea being a person enters a fictional world, a la lost in austen), though I’m blanking on any media like that I’ve actually consumed. This was chronologically the first book mxtx wrote, and it has less of a sprawling cast with complicated relationships than the other two books, but it definitely has the thing where she lays early groundwork for later revelations that shatter my poor heart. 
And there may be fewer relationships to play with, but my GOD, do I love the relationships we got. I’ve been rolling around in svsss fanfic since I finished the book, even more so than mdzs or tgcf. There’s a lot of good crunchy relationship content with the 79 ship (they destroy me, all day every day), Liu Qingge owns my whole-ass heart, and Luo Binghe makes for a fascinating love interest. I love that even at his best, he remains a needy, needy, manipulative boy, who’s so smart and strong and nEEDY. I don’t love how the book handled moshang, but mmmm the fan content is Good. And Shen Qingqiu does the unreliable narrator thing that is usually not my jam, but works so WELL in these books, in that his unreliable narration is hugely skewed towards not giving himself nearly as much credit as he deserves. Xie Lian takes this to UNBELIEVABLE heights in tgcf, but in Shen Qingqiu’s case, it’s done on such a casual, immediate, personal level that I’m fascinated by everything he does. 
And, since Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu is a millennial fan of trashy romance webnovels who gets yanked into the universe of a novel he hates, into an old-timey xianxia setting, the prose is SO COOL. You swing between modern slang and old school high society courtesies at the drop of a hat, and I’m honestly awed that the translators were able to catch so much of that. Like, in-setting, I love all the nuance you can get in ‘qi-ge should give his a-jiu the scroll’ vs ‘yue-shixiong should give this teacher the scroll’ vs ‘you should give me the scroll’. But then it adds a whole new layer when the person ALSO has modern-day casual speech bouncing around in their head. It makes for a fascinating, fascinating reading experience.
The Grandmaster Of Demonic Cultivation: Thirteen years ago, Wei Wuxian died. And then he wakes up! In someone else’s body. I’m not going to try to summarize the premise of this one, go look up The Untamed if you want someone to do a better job of this than me XD
Ahhh, this was the book I read first. I still haven’t watched the show (only clips) and I’m not sure I ever will, because adhd is a hell of a drug. But it’s hard to purely evaluate the prose when there’s also this gorgeous, beautifully-acted visual adaptation all over my tumblr to bias me in its favor. I think this book benefits a lot from the MYSTERY of it all. From the very start, there’s the question of ‘what the fuck is up with this goddamn arm’ that the characters pursue, even as that takes them through flashbacks and other arcs within the story. It gives a thrust to the novel that I think isn’t exactly there in tgcf, though I’m torn on which one is “better.” This gave the story momentum, yes, but it also meant I was much more impatient in yi city and the 3zun flashbacks, because this isn’t what I was focused onnnnnn this is cool but how much longer will we BE HERE--
That being said, I think I’ll be more patient with those flashbacks on my next time through the book, now that I have a better picture of where everything is headed. I think the balance and structure of the book worked really well, I was setting myself up for self-sabotage because of the pace I was plowing through the thing. My reading habits didn’t lend themselves well to the nonlinear storytelling, and it speaks to the story’s strength that it held up that well despite me. And the CAST. My GOD. I went in not caring about anyone but Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji and maybe the jackass nephew, but... that Did Not Last. I didn’t intend to care about 3zun? Nope, too bad, you care so much now. Who cares about Xue Yang? Me. I care. Way too much. HECK!!!
And something that happens in this book and tgcf that was much less of a thing in svsss is that there are some meaningful holes in the story that I’d like to be filled, and I really care about filling-- and the story doesn’t go there. But it doesn’t leave me unhappy, it leaves me cheerfully scrabbling around in the throwaway details trying to piece together a picture of what happened when I wasn’t looking. What happened to Wei Wuxian in the burial mounds? How did Hua Cheng take control of the ghost city? Idk, but let us Rummage and theorize and roll around in ideas and have a fantastic, speculative time. Svsss might hook me more than the other stories from an au+shipping perspective, but mdzs and tgcf do a great job of making me want to roll around and create within the bounds of canon.
Heaven Official’s Blessing: 800 years ago, Xie Lian ascended to heaven. And fell. And rose again! And fell again. Now he’s ascended for the third time, and things are Awkward.
God, I just finished this, and I’m still reeling. This is the LONGEST mxtx book, that’s for sure. I also think it’s the most tightly edited translation. All the translators did an unbelievable job, I could never even approach what they accomplished, but I am genuinely stunned that a book this long was edited so well. I blew through this in about 3.5 days (if not for work, i could have made it in three dghsafdsgf) and my brain was cooking in my skull by the time I was halfway through, but I couldn’t STOP. I was ENCHANTED the entire time! I was reading so much my head was destroying me and I still sulked so HARD every time I had to put my phone down and sleep.
This book sprawls the hardest, I think, because it involves a cast made of mostly immortal/immortal-adjacent people, so time and space get... flexible. And I feel really bad saying this, because Lan Wangji is DEVOTED, but this is seriously the book with the most attentive and adoring and respectful love interest. Hua Cheng is..... god. I truly don’t think I’ve EVER read a character quite like him before, and I am so, so sad, because I don’t know how I’ll find one who lives up to these heights ever again XD I recommend reading this book just for the Hua Cheng experience, if nothing else. I was making audible noises at literally flailing at multiple points in the story, but most often, it was because of him. 
Shipping is what usually drags me into a fandom hardest, and all of these books do pretty well for themselves, all of them have a nice selection of fluffy and crunchy ships to choose from. And this one... goddammit. I just realized, that the best, most crunchy ships are too spoilery for me to be willing to talk about them here. Hell. Goddammit. But I think tgcf has the crunchiest ship of all, even better than xuexiao. I was so invested, and then there were Reveals, and then I was like OH NO THIS IS TERRIBLE BUT MY INVESTMENT HAS EXPONENTIALLY INCREASED. 
And something that I really, really appreciate, is that across the mxtx books, even though a lot of characters fit into strong archetypes, there’s nobody that is blurring together for me, either within or across the books. Liu Qingge isn’t Jiang Cheng isn’t Feng Xin. They’re all blunt, fighty boys, but all super distinct in my head, and what I want for each of them is distinct and character-driven. I want Liu Qingge to be properly cherished and I want Jiang Cheng to relax with his brother and nephew and I want Feng Xin to [goddammit i don’t want to spoil this book AGH]. It’s something I appreciated in the other books too, but I can really FEEL it in this book, with how long and luxurious it is. 
And last thing I have to say, I think, is that tgcf is so long. It’s so, so long. But I would FITE if anyone tried to pare it down at all. I can’t think of anything I’d be willing to sacrifice. I enjoyed every last piece of it so much, and it was all ultimately SO well-constructed and interlocking, that any piece I can think of snipping out would take away significant emotional impact from what was left. It’s a nonlinear story, like mdzs is nonlinear, and I loved mdzs a lot! But the construction here is so, so, so elegant. I’m just in AWE of how well it was assembled. I was in Agony as reveals happened, because oh no no no no, now that they’ve told me this, that casts this whole other scene in a brand new light! The one I read hundreds of thousands of words ago! Literally, I need to go start the book over so I can savor the shitty teens in new ways, given [redacted] as revealed in like, the last twenty percent of the book. The book was a fun experience, but there’s so Much here that I know I haven’t even absorbed yet. I loved the other mxtx books a lot, and in many ways, they were easier to get a grasp on than tgcf was, but even before I finished tgcf I was already despairingly trying to figure out how easily I could fit a full reread into my life, and I think that says a lot
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cviperfan · 4 years
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Okay so partially motivated by how many references there were in SPoP and largely bc it's been in my backlog for years and I remembered the whole thing got uploaded to youtube a while ago, I finally got around to watching Revolutionary Girl Utena for the first time so time for some hot takes
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2 clarify I did see the movie about around 2000 which was my introduction to the series, and I did see like 1 episode back in anime club (over a decade ago now tbh) but for the most part I went into this with only a vague sense of the ending and offhand knowledge of a few of the weird comedy episodes so this was mostly a blind watch
Before getting into #spoilers I will say that this ended up being an easy Top 5 and that it's definitely still worth watching (fair warning for the very frequent rape and incest (and sometimes both)), especially if you've somehow also avoided most of the context of this show like me, and it really is one of the rare Nothing Else Like It kind of show (though it has roots in older shoujo like Rose of Versailles and modern stuff like Revue Starlight have picked up its lede)
Okay spoilers from here on
I really only kinda have vague memories of the more knightly take on Utena from the movie so Series!Utena having this powerful Dumb Jock Energy threw me
Like she's out here invoking the Air Bud Rule from minute one
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This bit where Akio is going on about some Important Life Lesson thing and she's just fuckin
crab walking im
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what a hero i love her
I have always kinda been more partial to shoujo than shounen bc the sense of like emotional urgency and the heightened exaggerated feelings are just more compelling to me narratively and what Utena does spectacularly is really drive that to fucking 11 and it permeates every aspect of the show
Like the melodrama of it all is so shameless and it's so committed to letting its visuals and music drive the mood and emotional intensity of its stakes that they kind of speak for themselves and demand to be taken on their own terms rather than having clear or rigid interpretations
Like it's kind of a situation of "yes most of what you're seeing ties into the show's bigger themes and characterization but also you can just vibe to the spectacle as well" like even when it's not on the Dueling Arena there's a theatricality underlying everything that pairs perfectly with the spirit of shoujo even as it... not necessarily contradicts it, but challenges it in some ways and also wants to coexist with it?
And I think that's the interesting thing how it wants to tackle some of these arch concepts tied into the genre while also being deeply intertwined with it.  Like it really is a Product Of Its Time in so many ways but it also feels somehow timeless and transgressive in others even now?
Like part of me would be interested to see a remake that took into account 23 years of conversation about how much perceptions of gender and sexuality have changed but at the same time would it lose some essential part of itself in that transition?  idk potentially
Also lbr a hypothetical remake wouldn't even attempt to revise anything it would just redo it thus making it pointless
So I know this has been a thing that's been brought up before but seeing it play out dang RGU and NGE really are just companion pieces to each other huh
Subverting the themes and narrative arcs of their respective genres, mysterious quiet girl who's directly the key to everything, the ritual of action setpieces rendered as Actual Ritual in the story, banger OP, comphet ruining everyone's lives
Also they really don't have much in common comparatively but I'm definitely seeing pieces of Utena in Kill la Kill too?  Particularly how Mako's arc feels like a fleshing out and expansion from the archetype divergence Wakaba got in that one ep (I can't believe klk was the utena/wakaba au fanfic)
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Speaking of which damn he is a sleazy bastard and a gross predator but ngl Akio can Get It he and Ragyo are basically the same character and I guess this is just my type apparently???? oops
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Like I'm recognizing how like really awful he is but also you really can't blame Utena for crushing on him he is super hot and charming
aside i lost it at the audacity of "well even tho i am a man like twice your age (AT LEAST) and took advantage of the situation and also i am clearly not the type to take no for an answer since you didn't reject me you're basically just as bad as me" bruh
The Black Rose Arc is... interesting bc like it borders on superfluous with how it resolves and yet the introduction of a "monster of the week" type power rangers element specifically built to expand on the secondary cast is a pretty inspired choice
again my primary point of introduction to the series was the movie which is basically a remix of the Student Council arc so when I got to 12 I was like wth are they gonna fill the rest of this with? WELP
What I really like about it is that usually this kind of setup-- the 'character is faced with their dark inner thoughts they shy away from and they become a short-term enemy' deal-- ends with the char in question coming to terms with this and overcoming it to become a better person
but here it's just like... they lose and then they just gotta... sit with that, forever.  Like it doesn't really change the status quo of their relationships w/ utena or the others but it does just stick around for them and now the audience knows that about them too.  like sometimes you just can't take that shit back.
Utena's relationship to queerness, having heard about it tangentially for years but seeing it play out now is also interesting bc while in the grand scheme it doesn't feel necessarily any more ahead of its time than something like Cardcaptor Sakura there is a casualness to it that's distinct
Like for the most part it's either kind of the tangential fluff that even then was part of shoujo as a standard but then there's also stuff like the Akio/Touga or Touga/Saionji hinting or Kozue's casual pass at Anthy in addition to the maintext Juri/Shiori push-pull and ofc the subtext-but-maintext Utena/Anthy threads
I wanna take a moment to talk about Juri bc of how kind of in the spirit of the show itself it plays things both with and against the grain with her
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Like she's a Tragic Lesbian which is nothing new but usually this character type (and Distinctively Lesbian characters in general) in anime/manga tend to be portrayed as being very predatory, invasive and either played for laughs or to repulse the audience, so the degree of empathy RGU shows her in 97 is rare to see even now.  
Like there is a "safeness" to her bc of how unattainable Shiori is (though their arc ends in a decidedly ambiguious way), but it doesn't really feel like she's getting the short end of the stick over the more straight-leaning characters bc arguably all of the relationships here are defined by an aspect of chasing the unattainable, echoing Utena's own quixotic search for her Prince, and her choosing to remain closeted feels realistic *especially because* of the surrounding context of how heteronormative the world she exists in is.  Like the character is aware of that and is navigating it in a way that feels honest
Speaking of which it's interesting how the reveal of Juri's pining for Shiori in Ep 7 echoes the bigger reveal of Utena/Anthy bc of how it plays up this heterocentric love triangle or at least it seems to be but then the cards are on the table and no that's really not what it is at all, and it feels significant that after spending most of the series naively oblivious to Juri’s feelings and what she wants out of a relationship with Shiori that Utena finally Gets It in Ep 37
Is it a coincidence Juri actually gets to be the one to point it out? No
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Speaking of triangles big ups to the Ruka/Juri/Shiori one honestly bc of how hard it commits to the unknown third result of a LT where absolutely no one comes out happy and it actually works even with the handicap of Ruka basically coming out of nowhere just for these two episodes
Like all three of them want the one person who's absolutely never gonna love them back and that's just rough buddy and isn't that kinda the show in a nutshell
So the thing that struck me about Utena/Anthy and how it plays out is how subtle it really is.  And that does make sense bc while f/f teasing/subtext again was part of shoujo before it's quite a different thing for the heroine to ultimately reject her 2 male love interests and choose a life with her female best friend, esp in nineteen ninety seven
Like I think you can argue that Ep 12 feels like The Moment where What Their Relationship Is, Definitely shifts and that possibility is suddenly there, and then it doesn't come back in a big way until the ending but there are tiny glimpses throughout where you can see that working in the background if you’re really paying attention
Small things like Anthy's flashes of unspoken jealousy, Utena fretting over her even when she's in bed with Akio, and part of that is coming from going in with a knowledge of what the endgame is and keeping an eye out for it.  I can hardly imagine being a viewer during the og broadcast and then ep 34 comes and suddenly the intent is made clear and our understanding of the inciting incident gets all flipped turned upside down
And to a modern viewer I can get coming into this for the first time and being frustrated at just how close to the chest it gets played, but that's also kind of the only way it gets to happen at that point in time?  But I think it ultimately is effective and vital to their individual arcs and dovetails nicely with the themes of the show
Like I remember hearing that original manga creator Chiho Saito was pretty against their paired ending, but with a lot of convincing from Ikuhara ultimately came around to it, and it's hard to imagine the anime's ending working any other way and being nearly as impactful
And there is something really beautiful about the bucking against the established idea of yuri relationships being a childish concept that gets left behind in order to 'grow up' actually becoming the impetus of their own journeys into adulthood and eventually back to each other, and it’s hard not to feel a little disappointed that for this Bold Step and declaration for the future that RGU takes that while yuri is more common than ever it largely continues to exist within the realm of schoolgirls and something to be left behind in adolescence like for RGU’s faults and shortcomings it saw this world of possibility in moving forward, while the genre largely elected to stand still
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And it really speaks to either the timelessness of the show or how much the queer experience has remained constant that even with a tragic ending, that hope, or rather the promise of their reunion, feels bold and defiant and genuinely uplifting even now
Like the moment where just before they reach out to each other one final time, and their voices as children speak out to each other, as if finally fulfilling a promise they barely remember, I really did just start ugly crying
Lastly some assorted closing thoughts--
-Touga?  Punk.  Guy really takes advantage of Utena's whole prince thing to manipulate her, ends up losing to her in the rematch and then fucks off to mope for like AN ENTIRE SEASON then pops back up "oh yea im in love with her literally nothing else about my behavior has changed tho" like lmao you tried i guess
-Also i know Touga's design is p stock standard bishounen ojou-sama type but god this is all i can think about when I see him
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- Green Touga Saionji is a bitch-ass motherfucker but like he at least tried more than anyone else so uh that's something I guess?????
Like the guy clearly has some unresolved feelings about Touga so i'm inclined to be sympathetic bc wow poor choice my dude but also... bitch-ass motherfucker
-Nanami really went through this thing for me where it's like... she's a brat and a shitty person but it's also hard to really dislike her bc she does get what she deserves most of the time and also she gets kinkshamed more than most of the cast despite none of them really having a high ground over her lol
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-Miki did nothing wrong (aside from like the implied incest but that's also like... half the relationships in this show uh)
sidenote I can completely see the notable excess of Incest Subtext/Maintext being intended as like... A Thing to comment on how common it is within shoujo and also tying in to like the bigger themes of Growing Up bc the idea that you’re chasing after your own damn siblings betrays some freudian inability to mature or whatever but tbqh it doesn’t always feel like the show knows the line between commenting on this and indulging in it and RGU is very indulgent by its own nature so I really can’t blame people put off by the show as a whole bc this is an area where RGU is largely indistinguishable from its genre peers
-Juri really did nothing wrong tho also props for having the best duels
-FUCK SHIORI THO for eel 
so obviously i have not seen the show up to now but I've been in yuri circles for a long time so I knew about Juri/Shiori and my perception of it had always been "oh it's one of those kinda messy with complicated feelings" kinda ships where the drama is a big part of the appeal and that's true but like
the actual nature of it I did not realize up to now and OH SHIORI'S REALLY THAT BITCH HUH
So not only does she date that one anonymous guy specifically to spite Juri unaware she doesn't actually like him BUT THEN WHEN THEY GET REUNITED SHE'S JUST LIKE LOL IT DIDNT MATTER BUT HEY WE COOL RIGHT *AND THEN* when she finds out about Juri's feelings she's like HELL YEA I CAN HANG THIS OVER HER HEAD FOREVER FUCK HER
***AND THEN*** when she gets some karma after Ruka dumps her ass she airs her dirty laundry out in front of EVERYBODY like Juri hasn't been dealing with this shit like an absolute champ the whole time like?????
Like ok i get that there's the sad longing drama there and usually that's my jam and the show itself seems to end on kind of an ambiguous note and the follow-up manga from this year seems to leave it as kind of a "maybe" but I'm sorry get Juri a better GF 2020 she deserves better
I saw some Juri/Wakaba going through the tumblr tag for the show and honestly that's some big brain shit I'm here for it
Also now knowing exactly how this dynamic operates it really makes that Jasper/Lapis reference pic one of the SU crew drew of them read very.... interestingly???????? (tho Lapis' design reads a lot closer to Kozue and that's probably a closer personality analogue too)
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-I love that thing in ep 37 where the whole SC is just very casually like hey utena if the whole revolutionizing the world thing with anthy doesn't work out uhhh call me im free haha just kidding unless...? lmao
-I'm pretty uninclined to try to pin precise sexuality HCs to characters for series this old where the ambiguity is part of how its danced around like partly coming from my own experience I'm inclined to read Utena as bi but that really is just coming from me?
But on the other hand literally every time a guy is like "i love you utena come be happy with me and we can love each other forever" she's like "k" after having left them on read for a day and disconnects from them entirely so lesbian going through comphet is a pretty valid read i think lol
-Lastly I think it’s pretty interesting but validly frustrating how fast and loose the show’s relationship with dream logic and non-traditional storytelling really is like when the shadow girls show up I was like “oh this is a greek chorus thing and it’s meant to reflect on the themes of the episode” (or uh in the case of exactly Ep 29 to break from tradition and explicitly tell us what a characters deal is lmao) but then no actually turns out they’re actually real characters who exist within the show too fuck you
ANYWAY I really did love this show and felt like I got a lot out of it despite it being pretty infamously hard to decipher but the ways it's inscrutable appeal to me specifically so very happy with this I'm gonna be thinking about it for a while
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blacklakeinavalley · 4 years
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Reylo confessions / TRoS personal review upon first watching
"You opened yourself to the dark side for a pair of pretty eyes” - in retrospect this pretty much sums up how my obsession with the Star Wars Sequel Trilogy came into being. I was here for Reylo, Bendemption, and most of all Ben Solo since around TLJ. I could and still can relate to this character’s struggles and find him physically very attractive. That’s basically how it went down.
I had only once watched the OT, a few years before TFA came out. Then, in 2015, friends dragged me to watch TFA (I was like “meh, blockbuster” aka a snob at that time). I was pleasantly surprised though when I found the movie very well-made and entertaining. I did NOT get the Reylo-vibes then but remember strongly identifying with Rey’s fear at the beginning of the interrogation and Kylo’s line “You know I can take whatever I want“ making me shiver. I cheered at Rey for beating Kylo up on Starkiller Base and (joke’s on me for the worst take ever) legitimately left the theater believing him dead because of the explosion of the planet. That didn’t make me sad, but satisfied.
I did not think about Star Wars again until January/February(?) 2017. Another group of friends planned on watching TLJ together and and I browsed the Internet for some critics to read in advance, just out of curiosity. Somehow I ended up watching the interrogation scene on Youtube again and again, the sexual tension between the two I now clearly recognized finally taking my breath away. I discovered skysilencer’s/chandrilasky’s wonderful blog (which doesn’t exist anymore) about Rey’s and Ben’s relationship and generally started reading as many metas on this topic as I could find.
I fell in love with the pairing, and especially the portrayal of Kylo / Ben. Getting to watch TLJ in the theater was a bit disappointing for me though, after having read so many raving reviews on tumblr beforehand. At that time I could not really appreciate the changes in pacing and all the depths and nuances. By now I love this movie. Strangely, I never watch it in one go, only in smaller portions. Maybe an unpopular opinion, but I like TFA just as well. Ironically, the fight on Starkiller Base is still my favorite Reylo scene ever - because there’s so much more going on than “Rey beating Kylo up“. For me, TFA definitely is a lot easier to watch, mostly because of the more conventional pacing, I guess.
Therefore I was quite happy when I heard that JJ Abrams was going to direct episode IX too. I actually never doubted that he had planted the seeds for Reylo in TFA / episode VII. Sadly, TRoS, which I finally went to see with my sweetheart yesterday, left me pretty untouched for the most part. After roughly two years of really looking forward to, actually longing for this day, seeing it was not the experience I had hoped for. This is not to say that the movie per se is only bad.
TRoS spoilers ahead!
I am a sucker for “grounded” speculation and have difficulties to keep away from spoilers. And I’m really invested in Ben Solo’s fate. This led to me reading JediPaxis’ leaks weeks ago and hanging around on this site pretty much non-stop shortly before and since the premier of the movie. When the realization that Ben Solo actually dies (or does he?) kicked in, I went through some kind of mourning that included having difficulties to concentrate, the urge to cry, listening to sad music, and definitely crying a lot while watching a camrip of him finding happiness and then dying in a loop.
And maybe that’s one of the reasons why I couldn’t enjoy the actual movie more. I already knew the whole plot, had seen lots of gifs and had already kind of processed the emotionally challenging stuff, at least to some extent. So I just didn’t feel much, neither surprise, nor joy or grief while watching. Again, joke’s on me for getting myself extensively spoiled and reading about other people’s (negative) reaction to the movie. I didn’t even look forward to seeing it anymore, tbh.
My boyfriend on the other hand, who has seen TFA once and TLJ twice in his life and went into TRoS openmindedly after only a very short recapitulation of what had happened in the previous films, actually really liked it. He found it very entertaining, even surprising and well-made, especially the camera-work. He was all for Rey being a power women, for example when she prevented the transporter Chewie was presumably on from leaving by Force powers (Chewie then being on another transporter, not the one that got destroyed, was a cheap move and sort of a plot hole for him though). He generally sees the whole thing as an action adventure and advocates for not intellectually dissecting it or expecting too much depth out of a Star War. He likes the OT as a casual fan (he was the one to show me the original films in the first place), didn’t like the Prequels at all, was not a fan of TLJ and found TFA okay. We are going to watch TRoS again early in January with friends and he’s looking forward to it. So for him, episode IX is the best sequel film.
What I personally liked about TRoS:
- the very beginning - because Kylo and all the voices in his head, the nightmarish setting of the Sith temple as a representation of (mental) darkness, hopelessness and loneliness ...
- the overall feeling of the Pasaana festival (joy! color! coming together to celebrate!)
- the Poe and Zorri dialogue on Kimiji, because FINALLY a quiet and somewhat thoughtful moment AT LAST
- Finn and Jannah bonding over being former Stormtroopers being another somewhat quiet moment in the movie
- Ben seeing Han in memory actually made me feel SOMETHING
- the scenes of the last battle to end all battles (both Rey/Ben vs Palpatine and Resistance vs First Order) were sort of okay
- somewhat unexpectedly, I also really sympathized with Poe during some moments of the final battle
- the Rey and Ben Solo stuff after his final turn to the light was beautiful and heartbreaking (side note: I like to think that all the Jedi were talking to Ben too as he was rising/climbing from that pit)
- Kylo Ren / Ben Solo is already an icon, thanks to Adam Driver’s amazing acting skills and admireable dedication to this role. And that’s also true for TRoS.
- I actually liked the Resistance base scene after their victory, their immense relieve was so palpable
- the overall visuals of the movie are fine
What I did not enjoy:
- Everything felt so rushed. There’s too much happening in too little time, especially during the first half. The movie just doesn’t take any time to breathe, the effect being that you don’t really get into the story - the exact opposite of what the fast pacing was supposed to accomplish. Maybe less would have been more. Or the movie lasting for 15 minutes longer.
- Probably the worst thing: Most dialogues/lines, especially in the first half, are just super cringey ... TFA and TLJ dialogue never felt like this - or have I just gotten used to their text script over time? I have the small hope though that everything will sound better (at least to me) in English (we had to watch TRoS in German). Kylo Ren talking through his helmet was the worst in that regard, because Adam Driver’s voice is so distinct to me by now that the German voice-over felt 100% out of place and got me super irritated. It was downright painful.
- Very personal opinion: Upon closer look, both TFA and TLJ seem to be about Ben pretty much all the time, and I am all here for it. I did not get the same impression out of TRoS. But maybe that’s just a “recipient as co-creator of a story“ thing and I might be able to construct such a reading also for TRoS over time, after getting to know the movie better.
What really matters to me in the end:
- I am still invested in the character and story of Ben Solo. A movie (TRoS) made me mourn a fictional character, which IS something, even if said character was built to a great extent in previous movies.
- As said before, I enjoy theorizing, analyzing and the quest to better understand stories. And I just don’t want to be mad at the creators already. Ben’s death was painful, but I understand this pain as an invitation to delve deeper into all if it. If in the end the script and plot keep making little sense (which is a real possibility), I will keep to cherishing the parts I liked.
Conclusion:
Yes, I found TRoS very disappointing upon first watching, script-wise way below TFA and TLJ. Very likely it will always feel rushed and badly written to me. Maybe I'll like it even less after watching it again in about a week from now.
But, for the reasons mentioned above, I will probably still give it multiple (undeserved) chances. Because there certainly are good parts in it.
---
Kudos if you’re still here! And sorry for any language mistakes. Please comment, if you feel like it.
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gentlelarkspur · 5 years
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Thoughts on Medieval Text Adaptations and Sir Gawain & the Green Knight
(Originally posted this on twitter, after hearing the news about this adaptation)
I am having some thoughts about the Sir Gawain and the Green Knight adaptation I posted about earlier. Not bad thoughts, I should mention! Just some contemplations. So here's a super nerdy thread of me doing some medieval musing.
So Sir Gawain and the Green Knight is my absolute favorite medieval text. Like, I did an entire self-directed study in my grad program dedicated to outlining my OWN proposal for a modern-setting adaptation to SGGK, including some art:
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So obviously I don’t think adaptations are a bad thing. I am actually super excited because I hope that this one can make more people interested in the text and bring more people into the fandom (if that’s what you want to call it, lol).
Gawain in general is my favorite knight, for many reasons (ask me if you want more nerdy gushing about Gawain). One of the reasons I love SGGK is because it's such a rich text. But plot-wise, SGGK really isn't that dense. 
For those who don’t know what SGGK is about, a short summary: 
An entity comes to challenge Arthur at Christmas to a beheading game that is rigged in the entity's favor through magic. Gawain, being a good knight, takes his King's place in danger, and must suffer the trials put to him after.He gets one year to put his affairs in order and then has to go face the Green Knight at New Years. He gets lost, meets a lord, stays for Christmas, and engages in a competition to exchange their "winnings" at the end of each day. The lord goes out hunting while Gawain gets smooched.Gawain smooches the lord when he gets back in exchange for whatever the lord has caught. He's usually honest, but on the day he needs to go see the Green Knight and face being beheaded, the lady gives him a magical belt. Gawain does not share this "winning" with the lord.When he goes to face the Green Knight, he's spared from death because he was honest, except for a cut on the neck because he lied about the belt. (also ta-da! the Green Knight is the lord, who would have guessed). Gawain goes home alive, the end.
(this is super reductive, btw)
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What makes SGGK such an amazing poem is how rich it is. I'm not being metaphorical when I say that reading SGGK is an experience. It was meant to be read and re-read. It's dense, and packed with an insane amount of small moments and visuals that are distinct and beautiful.For example, Gawain putting on his armor before heading out to find the Green Knight is a visually rich moment. We see him suited up in fine detail. His armor, the design on the inside and outside of his shield, the colors, his features, ect. 
Same with the first appearance of the Green Knight, who is described in what can only be explained as t h i c c medieval beefcake. Also, the poem oscillates between earthly sensuality and spirituality, which aren't mutually exclusive when performed according to chivalric values. 
Also also, if you want to do some deep dives into medieval texts through the lens of queer theory, there is just. So Much. in this text. Seriously, just read the part with Gawain & Bertilak snogging, it is NOT some quick peck on the lips. The subtext is strong with Gawain & Sir Beefcake! 
Gawain's internal struggle with his draw toward earthly life (Christmas parties, kissing men & women, feasts, games) and his spiritual & chivalric duties coupled with intense visual imagery are at the very core of what makes this poem compelling & evergreen.
This is why adaptations of medieval texts are often so hard. They are absolutely meant to be read and contemplated over and over again. They are the literary equivalent of lambas bread-- there's enough in one bite to keep you going for ages. 
Literally. It's been like 600 years.
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So this is what makes adaptations really tricky. Because if you stick too closely to the original text, you'll often find that it's shallow and pale feeling in comparison. There just isn't that much, plot-wise. But stray too far and it loses the heart of what makes it special.
This isn't to say that its impossible to adapt while maintaining the heart of what makes SGGK important, mind you. But it will require a devotion to building complex characters that a lot of medieval movies lack, or replace with sword fights.
I can see this adaptation veering from the text in a few ways: 
1, they make it about a love triangle between Gawain and the Bertilaks,
2. they make the relationship between the Green Knight & Gawain adversarial,
& 3, they replace character building with sword fights and make-out sessions, i.e. turning it into most Arthuriana-based movie before it. 
Doing these things won't mean its not a success financially or even as a narrative, but I personally feel it wouldn't share the same spirit as the poem. Which is in general a problem with most Arthurian adaptations, tbh.
Anyway, I'm still looking forward to seeing David Lowery's version. I don't think it's blasphemy to be different than a text during adaptations. But there's a lot of difficulties in doing it, and the reasons for them aren't simple. It's gonna be interesting to see the results!
TL;DR because most won't read this thread (I don't blame you), some highlights: t h i c c medieval beefcake bertilak Gawain is a bi icon sword fights can't replace a lack of personality Arthur is a dick That last one wasn't really in the thread but is worth saying anyway. :p
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misterbitches · 4 years
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I cant decide if I think what happened this episode makes me mad at tae joo. 
me @ me...and ppl who may read what i write...lmao: hear me out. i am a black anarchist cis woman so like...not everyone is going to care or think about  stuff like this. i realize it may not be the total norm  yet (but hey black radicals burned down a fucking police station yesterday which is some real cool history so who is to say that i’m not.) with or without the norms, i share to get a grip of my own thoughts that ADHD absolutely won’t let me keep. and see what people have to say! maybe they’ll engage. otherwise,,,,,,,it doesnt matter i jsut love thinking it through. cos i am CONFUSED!!! 
(btw, i insult rich ppl through this whole thing and i dont give  a fuck. i repeat a lot of things too o well.)
the start of the ep has these words from tae joo:
i have a young friend. a shadow like being who doesn’t go away even at one o clock. that shadow grew a self. i have to do him the favor...
part of his like and attraction to guk  is because of that existing power imbalance. i, personally, think that is impossible to deny given  that we see it. a girl coming over to their house and he kisses her. he had to know that guk would see, or would be looking, whatever.
you have tae joo being surprised at interest in guk. not because guk isn’t attractive or whatever, but because he’s used to the one being noticed. he may not be as broad and tall (there’s not a huge difference but guk obviously stands out more visually, while tae joo stands out cos he’s him i guess lol.)
i think there may be an element of this cat and mouse game that he likes, but  guk takes it a lot more seriously. as he should because...it’s his job. we don’t know at what point they are so anything that happened previously but they very clearly like each other. 
i was gonna say it didn’t even have to be romantic—yet. just that feeling of i don’t need anyone else to take you. i’m curious about why tae joo likes pil hyun but maybe it has something to do with wanting a friend that isn’t necessarily one borne out of necessity. but pil hyun’s dad does work at tae joo’s father’s dumb company or whatever. he’s on the board? idk i forgot
but maybe neither of them really care and pil hyun is just a friend instead of someone you have deep admiration and romantic or strange love for. 
but then there’s a lot of cruelly selfish stuff that shows why this imbalance and their two different backgrounds hinders them. tae joo doesn’t want to lose this shadow anyway but guk is always there. where he’s supposed to be.
when tae joo said, “isn’t it boring just the two of us?” it’s just such a dumb fucking question to ask. he was either just being verbally careless or did it on purpose. it can be both, but i don’t think it was supposed to be. for every one side of a you need to see him as a person not a workerr also encourage him to fuckng quit and live your lives together outside of your stupid rich father coin there’s a he obviously wants and needs him as much if not more. 
the if not more part comes to mean (to me) dependency formed UPON guk’s job. were they not to be in this circumstance, how would their paths cross? 
honestly the show poses a lot of class dilemma for something so short. now is the time to do and write interesting things and question capitalism anyways. tae joo can’t have everything handed  to him. well he can have a lot, because he’s privileged to be where he is, but love isn’t one of those things. guk is not obligated to love him fiercely if tae joo can’t truly relinquish his hold.
the last scene pissed me off a lot at first and thinking about it  it still does. like you used the master-servant relationship comment and exploited it because you didn’t like it but it’s the truth. what is the point of guk sitting through your bullshit but when you intentionally go seek him out you can insert yourself.
hye mi saying, “hey we’re talking can u wait yr turn” like YEA. they’re talking, you came in and had a fit, and only someone who has a life like you do would do something like that. was guk making noise while you were being tutored? 
i also honestly would just quit if i were guk. not every1 is gonna be an annoying anarchist like me or whatever but that’s pretty much the only way this could sustain itself. that and tae joo respecting guk as a person not just a person he loves in his orbit. the world revolves around us as individuals. meaning we think about ourselves in relation to everyone else because we live in this body. so guk is allowed to center himself in his own life.
this could all be avoided if it crossed tae joo’s mind that guk is allowed space to feel whatever his emotions without being dictated. where it isn’t just sparring that he can say whatever the fuck. 
so remember the opening. well, here’s the last lines of thought tae joo had in the car: i have a bodyguard a shadow like being that shouldn’t go away even at one o clock. the shadow isn’t supposed to have a self. 
he called the shadow his friend. a shadow has no self so when it finds autonomy — as he is finding himself (guk),  guk walks ahead of taejoo, faceless with the camera focused on the shadow itself—we finally start to see him as the shadow shows its human form. it’s never been a shadow, guk has always been a person, his own person, it’s just that and this  is literally....he is owned by his job. imagine realizing you have the same tendency as your own dad to feel that way (btw this is also with him (guk) getting slapped by his dad and no......nothing)
in the car we see that selfishness that wasn’t buried but he never thought about. guk shouldn’t leave, he should always be behind him, a shadow, he isn’t supposed to dictate his own life, his life must revolve around me. because he’s transient, again. workers are disposable, a dime a dozen, you happen to love this dime but it doesn’t mean you have  been able to fight for it or understand it.
tae joo is rich (i don’t know if it’s new or old money and the distinction would matter a little but i’m pretty sure theyve been together for a long while? bitch idk) the boy he loves is employed by his father. his father is a CEO, a boss and truly the worst kind (FIRE! YOUR! BOSS!) tae joo has been told his whole life that he deserves. why fight capitalism and not understand his own richness? it’s beneficial to him and it gave him guk, right? 
and you see how allllllllllll of that, the messaging, the receiving, how you get stuck under the influence as a younger person to be stuck under the influence as a complicit adult to the messages of the ruling class. the ruling class you are a part of whether you like it or not, the one that calls labor your own, the one that rips power from other people. you didn’t choose who you were born from and to, but you get to choose what you do now. 
guk was never a shadow, you just didn’t see him because, well, he’s your best friend, and your bodyguard, working and being a literal punching bag for your mistakes (AND THAT’S CAPITALISM BABY, THEY RLY TOLD US THAT THERE—”for your mistakes, i’ll beat him and then send you off to england” like gorl...)
(i also want to mention i whole heartedly believe that the rich resent the poor, the ruling class punish the working class, etc but that’s like irrelevant to here mostly...by irrelevant i mean i shouldnt go any fucking deeper than i have with goddamn dumb analysis. but it’s fun kinda) 
anyway basically tae joo like made so many mistakes that show just how fucking clueless you can be when you have immense privilege. coupled with guk working for him, he doesn’t realize that guk doesn’t live to work. has his own thoughts and he has feelings man. when guk said “stop” in e3 i was rly happy tbh. yea, they may like each other but doing shit like that isn’t fair to him if you’re gonna go around and be really flighty about everything while he depends on (well maybe not depend must cater to) you almost completely by DEFAULT of u being rich lmao
this is just a look and critique into one side of tae joo. i don’t dislike him but i question why people both in the show and people discussing feeling bad for tae joo’s circumstance instead of asking why guk  has to do any of this.....? how does guk fucking feel about this? where are guk’s feelings factored in. like we’re all saying “we pay you so that should be enough.” fuck no. guk do what you want.
if the show was about like....people in love not meeting at the right time in their lives i wouldnt be too upset either. as long as we know their love was deep and romantic it’s okay to see a parting. of course i would prefer not to see that and just want tae joo and guk to grow up to become nice anarchist citizens. guk is an artist and tae joo writes books about his daddy issues or sth like that
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flying-elliska · 4 years
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lotrblogging pt 2 - Return of the King extended edition
- I just love this movie so much, it’s just a collection of big narrative payoffs and it’s so satisfying ! 
- I honestly hate Denethor more than Sauron ; he’s just such a compelling antagonist, that despicable figure of authority that lets his biases completely corrupt everything, seeing only what he wants to see, and a good example of the dangers of unfettered pessimism that passes off cowardice as ‘realism.’ And of course what would a story be without at least one terrible father figure, I mean. Also the noble but pointless sacrifice of Faramir/Pippin singing/the triviality of Denethor’s terrible table manners still gives me so much chills. i can’t help but think of Tolkien going through wwi, one of the most egregious examples of brave young men being sacrificed to the pride of older officials, safe behind the battle lines, for completely trivial reasons. Ugh. 
- i think what is so amazing about this movie is that most of the heroes go through a moment of being completely hopeless : Pippin and Gandalf in an assieged Minas Tirith, the Rohhirim charging a much bigger army, Frodo and Sam having to go through Mordor and talk about not coming back, the last battle at the Black Gate they know they can’t win but is meant as a diversion, etc. And from their limited perspective, it really is. But they decide to fight regardless ; and then they realize they’re not as alone as they thought ; because everyone decided to fight. It’s like the opposite of the Prisonner’s Dilemma, and it’s like the Good Ending for so many of the problems facing the world and it’s such a satisfying narrative and ugh - i’m emo
- i already talked about this re : masculinity and shit but i just love how emotionally open everyone is in this movie ! it’s just so fucking delightful ! i think this is part of why i loved the movies so much as a neuroatypical kid who had trouble regulating/expressing emotion. It’s also very straightforward, with little irony or second degree or whatever. very relaxing. I mean, take Aragorn, in the books he is honestly kind of boring, he’s so aloof and serious and remote, but in the movies he just cares so much ! i mean that look of utter devastation on his face when he gets out of the caves and thinks he hasn’t been able to convince the ghost army ! beautiful !!! it could be cheesy or trite but they just play it so earnestly and fully, it’s just !!!!! yeah !!!!
- honestly throwback to my teen self having a crush on a different character everytime i rewatched the movies there are a lot of beautiful people in there
- i find it very unrealistic that there is not one culture in there that has warrior women. and very bland. especially the Rohirrim who are kind of Viking-like, and have a word for ‘shieldmaiden’ apparently but there’s only one around ? and what about the elves who are all supposedly badass and indestructible ? i’m sure any elf maiden could like, seriously fuck up a human dude, also having thousands of years to train. gender roles being so unquestionably replicated in fantasy settings where they don’t necessarily makes sense is so annoyinnnng. that said, Eowyn’s ‘i am no man’ moment of ultimate badassery is just....still so incredible. But I’m glad they didn’t include the moment where Eomer is all ‘war is the province of men’ in the cinematic version because that makes him look like a serious dick tbh and he already doesn’t have a lot of personality so...
- i know it’s based on ancient myth where these archetypes are frequent but like, the worldbuilding is really full of like...um...uncomfortable tropes, like the evil races concept is one thing, but then the movie topped it up with some really problematic design choices, like making some of the men aligned with Sauron look distinctively middle-eastern which, yikes. As a product of its time there’s a lot worse, but i like to think if they remade it today they would be more aware of this, as I am watching these movies as an adult. And also, glad that fantasy is moving away from these tropes today, at least in books. 
- man i love Legolas. he just seems high half of the time, spouting off epic poetry in the middle of a creepy cave full of skulls that’s only tangentially related to whatever is happening. he stops a minute to be a snarky badass, then he goes back to thinking about poetic stacks of mist and golden leaves or whatever. legend. absolute goals. also that drink-off with gimly where he wins and is like ‘oh my fingers are tingling’ with a delicate finger motion. so stupid. amazing. 
- monarchy is bad etc but i love narratives about kingship/leadership as acts of service, and stuff about the king being linked to the land and if he fucks up then everything goes bad, he can’t just do whatever, as a proto-pattern of accountability of power, and mankind having to be a good steward. and Aragorn as a healer. 
- i skipped the bits with the giant spider. when there’s a giant spider in a movie i always make a point of honor to skip it. because that’s just unnecessary. 
-  Sam and Frodo’s relationship is so beautiful, ugh. And honestly it kills me everytime, how there’s these big epic battles but they’re put in parallel with the small acts of compassion and kindness of these two, and with Gollum as well. How these small, personal struggles matter just as much. And of course, the ending, with Frodo failing and Gollum stealing the ring from him and then falling into the pit of Mount Doom...That moment puzzled me for a long time. It highlights the importance of Frodo’s compassion, but it’s also very disturbing, because it shows how much is left to chance in the end, like the fate of the world wasn’t determined by a grand gesture or someone making the right choice. This probably haunted Frodo for the rest of his days. Maybe it shows the importance of putting yourself on the right path ; but also in the end, so much of history really comes down to chance and unrelated stuff. 
- overal it just holds up so well. the visual effects are still mostly incredible and there is such craftsmanship in there, i can’t believe those movies are almost 20 yrs old. i remember my parents allowing me to skip school to go see Return of the King with them, felt like one of the best days of my life lmao. i think part of what makes them so great - compared to stuff like GoT, which had also amazing craftsmanship, but the story really doesn’t make me want to rewatch at all - is that there is this sense of wonder about it. (and they’re not trying to avoid being seen as fantasy, lol.) It’s not shy about the whole ‘and here’s a totally different world, isn’t that awesome !’ thing. And the character arcs are just incredible. It’s far from being flawless, it’s very pompous at times, it’s a zero in terms of diversity, and I can see that more clearly now. But I like that it’s aware of its own myth-like aspects ; stuff that I used to find lame, like Gandalf calling the moth or the eagles, bother me a lot less, because the point is not Realism!!!. It’s the metaphor of small gestures and signs of hope in times of tyranny and mass violence. And that holds on its own. 
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orionsangel86 · 7 years
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12x12 Episode Review - Still Screeching...this time about the colour “Peach”.
I gave my 12x10 episode review the title “Pterodactyl Screeching into the Void” because I was so happy about it I couldn’t help but scream with glee at practically every moment. I also said this: “I feel like there is so much to talk about in this episode that fandom will be chewing on it for months if not years to come.” I still believe this, I just didn’t expect that two episodes later I would be reliving this exact same thoughts and feelings. I considered 12x10 to be a one off, a glorious gift to fandom wrapped in a big destielicious bow. Clearly, we celebrate our fandom birthday only two weeks before fandom Christmas because we just got ANOTHER gift wrapped in an even BIGGER destielicious bow and I can hardly contain my glee. (baring in mind fandom Christmas falls on the tenth anniversary of tumblr and close to valentines day I can’t help but feel this was planned - PRESENTS ALL AROUND)
But anyway. Lets talk meta. Once again I am very late to the party as I doubt I will be posting this any earlier than Saturday evening when you have probably all been talking this to death for the past two days. But eh, I’m gonna do my thing and hope you all agree, or aren’t bored by now if everything I talk about is stuff already gone over by my fellow very talented meta writers.
Starting with the obvious, Director Dick Speight Jr and Writer Davy Perez made this episode an homage to Tarantino movies. Specifically Reservoir Dogs which has so many ties to this episode both visually and subtextually that it is kind of difficult to keep track of my thoughts on it. I have to confess, I hadn’t ever watched Reservoir Dogs all the way through prior to watching the episode because it never really interested me. However, after watching the episode for the first time Friday lunch time I decided that it was in my best interests as a meta writer to give it a go. I watched it and tried to take in everything Tarantino was saying and doing with this movie… 
Being a meta writing, destiel shipper with heteronormative goggles permanently removed since watching this show guess what the first thing I picked up on was? That’s right Mr White and Mr Orange… what WAS going on there anyway? Because these guys didn’t know each other very long but they became VERY close by the time of the heist. Poor Freddie and Larry. Such doomed tragic lovers... do we have a ship name for them yet? Frarry? Leddie? Or maybe just “peach” (hence my title)
I believe that when Perez was writing this episode he had a SPN character in mind for each character in RD (mostly anyway). Cas is obviously Mr Orange (the bleeding out from the stomach thing gives it away as does Davy’s tweet here. Here is who I think the rest of the characters are supposed to be:
Dean – Mr White (duh)
Mary – Mr Pink
Wally – Mr Brown
Sam – Nice Guy Eddie maybe? I struggled here
Crowley – I wanna say Joe. (though I also kinda think Ketch would be Joe here… its not too obvious)
Remiel – Mr Blonde (“yellow” hair)
Explanations and various meta under the cut. This gets long:
THE TRAGIC LOVERS/ THE WOUNDED ANGEL
How amazing was this episode for Dean and Cas? I know people were getting upset about the diner scene being Dean trying to set Cas up but this was all posturing on Dean’s part partly for Wally and partly because he was bristled with jealousy. Someone needs to get Dean’s face when the waitress first calls Cas “handsome” and use the “conceal don’t feel” moment from Frozen because that is EXACTLY what was going on there.
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(gif source @godshipsit)
“My Devastatingly handsome friend here” Really Dean? Mandy had already called Cas handsome you don’t need to talk him up to her now she has already shown her interest. Your crush is showing Dean.
But lets skip past the diner scene because there is SO MUCH more to talk about. A big part of this very busy story is about Cas getting injured and the Winchesters reaction to that. It seems like the writers are going out of their way right now to show the audience that Cas is SUPER IMPORTANT SO SHUT THE HELL UP SAYING HE ISNT. THANK YOU ANDREW DABB. THANK YOU DAVY PEREZ, THANK YOU DICK SPEIGHT JR. THIS IS EVERYTHING TO US! I meant it when I said I was *sipping Cas hater tears* right now. I get so happy when justice is served.
We never do find out if anything happened between Cas and the waitress… I suppose you could say it was added as a “no homo” to the “I love you” from later on in the episode, but I think it was completely non relevant. They immediately leave the diner to go after the demon. So no hot sex with random waitress for Cas Though honestly, he showed no interest at all. Dean did all the work for him and all Cas did was give her a sniff to see if the whole “smells like food”thing was true. Its kinda hilarious. 
Anway, cue Cas getting stabbed by the Lance.
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This is such a beautiful shot. I just wanted to say that. Also, this is a demon with a weird hobby for night fishing who happens to make Cas his “catch” on this particular night. This is the second time Cas has been the “fish” in this show, and well:
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(gif source @winchester-reload) 
(sorry couldn’t resist).
As soon as Dean realises Cas is hurt, he takes on Mr Whites role of being the one to inspect the wound, to reassure Cas that he will be okay, to just plain deny his dying. Its beautiful to watch Dean get so upset about this. Once again his reaction is so very different from Sam and Mary’s – both of whom are incredibly upset don’t get me wrong – but Dean’s reactions, and Deans emotions, are where the camera focuses the most. Why? Why do you all bloody think? (Remember that our Director this episode calls himself “the Prophet of Destiel” so I think we are in good company here guys).
“you look like hammered crap”
“Yeah that sounds about right”
Still being the husband Dean. “I’ve had worse” “Oh yeah? When” Urgh the whole exchange is so touching really. Dean covers the wound up to stop Cas from looking at it, tries to reassure him. The LIP QUIVER thank you Jensen for those small but exceptionally well thought out motions.
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 (gif source @subcas)
His actual face is terrified, every one of these tiny reactions is Jensen at his best and I have to send Dick Speight Jr a fruit basket for capturing each and every one.
Besides you know things are bad when he calls out for “Sammy”
“no, no theres a cure. Theres always a cure” so desperate
Dean’s reaction to Crowleys “hey, I was quite fond of the choir boy too” with his “shut up, shut up” because he is showing his anger. He is in denial, and is handling it with anger against Crowley. Because Crowley knows how he feels about Cas. Hence his response. It was another subtle but beautiful moment highlighting how Dean reacts differently when Cas is in danger.
And then we have CAS’S SPEECH. I know we have all been flailing about this since the episode aired as lets be honest it is THE BEST thing about this episode. I have watched it so many times, picked it apart and just cried over it enough times in the past few days to know that this beautiful moment means EVERYTHING.
“Thank you, thank you, knowing you, its been the best part of my life. And the things that we’ve shared together, they have changed me.”
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Notice how Mary looks at Dean here. She doesn’t know their history, but at this point in the season I do think that Mary suspects something is between Dean and Cas. Her reactions speak far louder than words (just like her stubborn son).
As the camera then cuts to Dean’s reaction:
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(gif source @godshipsit)
Because of course it does. Dean’s face here is so very perfect for the emotional turmoil going on inside him. Cas says that the things they have shared together have “changed him” as in for the better, Mary looks at Dean and Dean looks BROKEN because yes he has changed Cas “The very touch of you corrupts” and I doubt that Dean has forgotten that somehow, especially when we had a reminder of it just two episodes ago. Dean thinks he has ruined Cas and this moment was very telling of that. 
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(gif source @ahoyspn)
“you’re my family,” FINALLY HE KNOWS. How long has it taken him to get here?
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ASHJFHEGFEWAHFUEHFUH!!! 
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CUT TO DEAN AND DEAN ALONE!! (Thank you editing department for making that FUCKING CLEAR! (Gif source for both the above @godshipsit)
“I love all of you.”
DISTINCTION. TO CLARIFY MEANS THE FIRST IS AMBIGUOUS. Also the reaction shots here are amazing.
Dean’s face is just pure pain. I can’t bare it. This is the best fucking thing SPN has EVER given us.
AND THEN AND THEN
WE GET OUR CONFIRMATION. CAS GETS HIS CONFIRMATION THAT HE IS IMPORTANT. HE IS NOT EXPENDABLE. THEY WOULD GIVE THEIR LIVES FOR HIM. THIS IS ALL WE HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR.
“Cas No.” Dean says. Just no. I will not leave you here.
“Yes, you need to keep fighting”
“We are fighting. We’re fighting for you Cas” OH SAMMY HOW I LOVE YOU.
“And like you said we’re family, and we don’t leave family behind” OH DEAN NO YOU ARE BEAKING MY HEART
LOOK AT THIS POOR SWEETHEARTS FACE
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(gif source @godshipsit)
THIS IS THE MOMENT HE REALISES. THE MOMENT IT HAS BEEN LEADING UP TO. THE MOMENT WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR. THIS IS IT. THIS FACE IS WHAT I HAVE WEIGHED MY HEART ON SINCE WATCHING 10x22 AND GAMBLING ON WHETHER TO STICK WITH THIS FUCKING SHOW OR NOT.
I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY ABOUT THIS. I WROTE ABOUT CAS’S ARC AND WHAT WAS COMING FOR HIM AND THIS IS FUCKING IT YOU GUYS THIS IS SO SO SO IMPORTANT I AM CRYING.
I am probably gonna devote a separate post just to this tbh because I can hardly stand it.
Look, I have decided I am not going to debate the “I love you” here. It is ambiguous, on second, third, forth and fifth viewing I will admit that, but I have two asks in my inbox both speaking kinda negatively about this confession so I will address this separately there. At the end of the day, with everything else we have been told about Cas up until this point, it can easily be read as a romantic “I love you” to Dean just as it can be read as a platonic one. I have chosen to see the romantic interpretation, because Dean’s reaction was first.
Anyway, the fact is that the way Dean reacts to the whole Cas dying thing is different to the way Sam and Mary react. There is a distinction, just like there is a distinction between “I love you” and “I love all of you”.
When Cas is spewing up black goo (and baby why are you always vomiting black goo you poor thing – love the season 6/7  call backs though)
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compared to:
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and:
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(gif sources all @godshipsit)
See, Sam is able to remain calm “hang in there alright. What do we do?” and Dean? Dean can’t talk. He is close to tears, he just looks BROKEN and looks down. He can’t even watch Cas die. This is once again further proof (that we have been getting since 11x10 btw) that the brothers view Cas differently. To Sam, Cas is a friend, a brother, he loves him, but he isn’t so very emotionally compromised when Cas is in danger. Dean? Oh Dean breaks. Every. Time. This is why we keep going on about these things. See we don’t think Sam thinks less of Cas, its just that he is not in love with Cas like Dean is. When you are in love with someone, it hurts more. This distinction has constantly been thrown at us in the show. It is important.
Then the HANDS urgh I love anything Handsy in this show… so much symbolism.
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(gif source @weallneedcastiel)
Blablabla hands blablabla profound bonds… oh but THIS:
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(thanks to @elizabethrobertajones for giffing this in zoomed in slow motion because she is trying to KILL ME)
This kills me. Sam lets go, Dean clings on for as long as he can. TELL ME THAT ISN’T TRUE LOVE?!?
And then as if they haven’t ALREADY KILLED US ENOUGH THEY GIVE US THIS:
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(gif source @godshipsit​)
Guys. GUYS. What was it Bob Singer said? “Cas is a nomad, he doesn’t have a home.”
WELL THANKS BOB SINGER BUT I GUESS YOU HAD A CHANGE OF HEART OR DABB TOTALLY OVERRULED YOU! We know for 100% certain that Cas’s home is the bunker. He lives there. He belongs there. This is such a far cry from 9x03 I am so so happy. It is undeniable. Cas lives at the Bunker.
Then at the end, as if I didn’t need my freaking heart:
“I almost lost one of my boys”
MARY HAS ONLY BEEN AROUND FOR A FEW MONTHS AND CAS IS ONE OF HER BOYS! SHE SEES HIM AS ONE OF HER BOYS! IS THIS FANFICTION? WHO SOLD THEIR SOUL FOR THIS? This is proof enough that Cas is part of the family. This episode is the gift that keeps on giving.
Now that I have screeched about all of that, I just want to quickly talk about the mirrors in Reservoir Dogs. Because as I said earlier, Dean and Cas are our Mr White and Mr Orange. Why is this? Because if you watch the scene where Mr White comforts Mr Orange in the warehouse you will find some similarities between that and Dean and Cas’s exchange in this episode.
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Look I will admit I watched this film once (and then watched these few scenes a couple of extra times) so I am no expert on it, but as far as I am concerned, this is quite obvious subtext. The film starts and ends with these two guys wrapped in each others arms, dying, bloody, and very close. Larry (Mr White) stands up for Freddie (Mr Orange) the whole way through the movie. He is the only one who doesn’t doubt him. Everyone else is suspicious of Mr Orange being the cop and it all builds up to the moment where they all point their guns at each other because Mr White risks his life to save Mr Orange from Joe’s gun. He goes against his friends for this guy he barely knows… the big question is WHY? Well, it makes a hell of a lot more sense if maybe Mr White had fallen in LOVE with Mr Orange… because love makes you go against logic. So it obviously makes the film all the more tragic to know that Mr Orange WAS the undercover cop and basically breaks Mr Whites heart in that final scene (because he doesn’t want to die in the arms of the guy he clearly loves knowing there is still one big lie between them.)
How does this relate to Dean and Cas? Because even though Davy Perez only wrote very loose connections between the other SPN character and the Res Dogs cast, (except Mary blatantly being Mr Pink and getting away with the loot at the end) he very CLEARLY wrote parallels for White and Orange in Dean and Cas. The guys with the homoerotic subtext in Res Dogs, get the homoerotic subtext in SPN as well. Both sadly remain subtextual, but the parallels are blatantly obvious.
This episode has given us enough to write about in terms of destiel for the next YEAR let along the next week. I can hardly keep up with it all. And this isn’t even the rest of this beautiful episode which after 6 re-watches I still haven’t tired of yet.
MR KETCH/ MOTHER MARY
“Tell me a story”
Honestly my first thought was Metatron. But then this makes sense since I think the British Men of Letters are Dabb’s self-insert character. Like Metatron was Carver’s self-insert character and Chuck was Kripke’s self-insert character. Did Gamble have a self-insert character? Because we are getting so many call backs to season 6 this season that I feel like it should be acknowledged. Anyway, we don’t actually know that he is talking to Mary at this point, but a lot of this episode takes place from Mary’s POV. Mary is incredibly conflicted at this point, but I do think that she believes they are doing good. I also feel like the line “asking the wrong questions” is important. This season is all about communication, miscommunication and a lack of communication. If only they would all TALK TO EACH OTHER.
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Excellent use of the Pulp Fiction mystery brief case glow (WHAT COULD IT BE?)
One of the most shocking things in this episode was how Mary refused to reveal that she had stolen from Ramiel to save Cas’s life. She sneaked around behind the boys’ backs, wouldn’t tell them that she is working with the BMOL, stole the mystery item and lied to her sons about it. This is all very Cas in season 6. Mary knows that what she is doing is wrong, she must do, otherwise she would have spoken to her sons about it (lack of communication). We keep talking about how this is a season 6 rewrite, but this time Mary is in Cas’s place, this couldn’t have been more obvious come the end of the episode with this outfit:
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Also this line:
“Anything happens like that again, anything, and I will burn you down”
Made me think of this line:
“If you touch a hair on their heads, I will tear it all down. Our arrangement. I’m still an angel, and I will bury you.” Said to Crowley by Cas in 6x20.
We have ourselves a very interesting little parallel here. Mary is betraying her boys and it is not gonna go well for her, if season 6 is anything to go on. What could possibly happen? Well, the BMOL want to rid the world of all Supernatural beings for a start, and Mary seems to share that mentality. The fact that she wouldn’t give up the Colt to save Cas’s life also makes me rather concerned… but she did call him “one of my boys” so I dunno what to think. Is Cas potentially in danger here? We have speculated this before, after seeing the way both Ketch and Mick seem to hungrily eye Cas up all the time. Whilst its funny to think that they both just wanna jump his bones, the truth of the matter is that they probably wanna string him in a display cabinet like Catrina’s butterflies in 12x11. Could Mary’s refusal to hand over the Colt at that point be foreshadowing for her using Cas as a bargaining tool later in the season? Could she betray him to the BMOL? I don’t want to think that Mary would be capable of such a thing, but like my Evil!Mary anon keeps saying, something isn’t right with her, and she doesn’t have the Winchester’s long history with Cas (or the Colt) to truly understand what they mean to each other. Mary’s reactions to Cas’s confession seemed more like surprise than anything else, especially the way she turns to look back at her sons when Cas talks about the “things they have shared”.
If there is one thing I have been completely unable to predict with this season it is where the mytharc plot is going. There are so many elements at play, and now we have the return of the Colt and Mary’s betrayal to deal with as well. This is only going to escalate into something very bad, and Sam and Dean are going to be royally burned at the end of it. Could it come down to a choice? Cas vs Mary? So far this season Dabb has gone out of his way to prove that Cas is one of the family, and now we finally have got to a point where Cas himself believes this. Could this all have been to put him on equal grounds with Mary only to have the Winchester’s make a Schindler’s List style decision later down the line? How horrifying a thought. I hope it doesn’t come to that, but this whole situation with Mary has got me very worried.
THE PRINCE/ MR CROWLEY
Oh boy was this awesome. Firstly, I love the character of Ramiel. He was straight out of a Tarantino movie with his “couldn’t give a damn” attitude and his constantly calm manner. He was a cold psychopath and I loved it. Also he was our “Mr Blonde” with his yellow eyes. (I am glad that no one lost an ear in this episode – though I am suddenly very much aware that this already happened in SPN previously… honestly we will soon get to a point where everything has been done on SPN. This show is insane.) The whistling, the fishing, the spear, the “you mind explaining why you broke into my house!?” so smoothly after being shot. I think he was one of the best villains we have had in a while. I would have liked to see more of him. Interestingly, when I watched the promo shots of him I was reminded of Alistair. I am not sure why other than I saw similarities between the actors, but the fact that he was actually a “prince of hell” and a call back to Azazel was amazing.
NEW LORE! Good new lore too rather than retcons that don’t make much sense! Finding out some origin stories about Azazel (also HOW AWESOME was that yellow eyes reveal to Mary!) The first demons after Lilith created by Lucifer had yellow eyes. HOW LONG have we been speculating about the colour of demon eyes and what it means?
“Asmodeus has his hobbies, Dagon has her toys” TWO NEW SCARY DEMONS who we will totally be seeing in the coming episodes now… probably to avenge their dear departed brother. We know that Dagon has taken an interest in Kelly Kline and Lucifer’s baby so we will probably be seeing her next episode - for some reason I totally picture her as an Ellie Driver character… probably because eye patches are suddenly “a thing” in this show and also nurses outfit/protecting the baby mama… yeah… This is my Dagon currently:
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Anyway, we are back to “yellow eyed demon” levels of bad and I love all the call backs to the previous seasons. Season 6 is predominantly the season we are rewriting in season 12, but there have also been major callbacks to season 4 and to the early seasons now to the point that I partly think this is Dabbs rewrite of the entire first half of the show.
Lets talk about Crowley, because OMG CROWLEY in this episode! Crowley is like the epitome of “I don’t care” (actually cares a lot) bless him. First of all, we get a CROWLEY ORIGIN STORY (bless you Davy Perez) because how long have we all been wondering how he managed to claim the throne? He was given it by the rightful heir.
What is the most amazing part of this, which gives such a HUGE insight into Crowley’s character is this:
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(gif source @godshipsit)
Which is his reaction to finding out that Cas was stabbed with the lance. The subtle shock, and sorrow on his face, before he composes himself. I just… CROWLEY! Where is that feelings gif?
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I know we joke about the Crowley x dean x cas love triangle, but with this season calling back to season 6 and Cas and Crowley’s original partnership, with all the history between Crowley and Dean and now THIS? Evidence that Crowley cares. A lot. What makes it even better is that while everyone else was sitting around helplessly watching Cas die, Crowley DID SOMETHING. He BROKE THE LANCE…. Seemingly one of the most powerful weapons in creation, a weapon that he could have used to KILL LUCIFER and he BROKE IT FOR CAS. CROWLEY SAVED CAS’S LIFE FOR ABSOLUTELY NO PERSONAL GAIN WHATSOEVER. CROWLEY CARES ABOUT CAS.
This is just wonderful. What does this mean for Crowley now? He clearly cares about them, but they still reject him mostly. Will this act of compassion mean that the Winchesters accept Crowley as a part of their group from now on? Or will Lucifer’s words poison his mind?
Because lets talk about that for a moment. We all knew that Lucifer wasn’t in the cage… Crowley has him locked up in a small cage in his throne room. This will not end well. Lucifer is the master of deception, he uses his words to manipulate people and with Crowley’s weakness being the Winchesters (including Cas) Lucifer could easily use this against him.
“I know that look. Sam and Dean have got you down. I still can’t believe you’re working for the dukes of haphazard. Do you really think they care about you? Think about it Crowley, they kill your kind. It’s in their blood. You know, you know. Its only a matter of time before they come for yoooouuu”.
This is Lucifer already working his magic. His forked tongue whispering things into Crowley’s ear that will slowly poison his mind and turn him against the Winchesters again. I don’t know what is coming up for Crowley, but like with Mary, I can’t see it going well for him. I am so excited to find out what happens next.
OVERALL
This episode is one of my favourites. I mean in the WHOLE SERIES. It was wonderful. I enjoyed every minute. The writing, the direction, the editing, the music cues were spot on. Richard Speight Jr NAILED IT. I hope he directs again. This season just keeps getting better and better. There is so much going on I can hardly get my thoughts in order, but to summarise:
We have two new yellow eyed demons who are gonna be PISSED when they realise their brother has been killed.
We have Lucifer trapped in a cage poisoning Crowley’s mind.
The BMOL have the Colt. THE COLT.
Mary is the betrayer in the midst. She is working for the BMOL behind her son’s backs.
Kelly Kline is still missing with Lucifer’s baby. Dagon has “taken an interest”.
The “cosmic consequences” are still outstanding.
Cas loves his family. His family is canonically the Winchesters. He is no longer an “angel of the lord/heaven”.
The Winchesters love Cas. Canonically. They would die for him.
Crowley puts the Winchesters and Castiel above his own need for power and personal gain.
Destiel is canon
Okay so I may have added the last point in as a joke, but we are so not far off guys. We have the building blocks in place. Slowly but surely we are getting there and we are already so much further along than I would have hoped. I do think that we will get an undeniable confession of romantic love from Cas’s side at least this season. If not by him directly, then by someone else (my money is on Crowley or Mary) pointing it out to him and him not denying it. Basically, we are in a really positive place. Dabb is doing a brilliant job of answering all our questions, questions we have had for YEARS about plot holes and mystery points left open to interpretation. I am convinced that this will only get better. God I love him. I always knew Andrew Dabb would do an amazing job when he first took over as showrunner, but in my wildest dreams I didn’t think he would give us so much so soon. We are truly blessed right now. This series has majorly improved since the atrocity of season 10. they seem to have LEARNT from that . This is wonderful. I couldn’t be happier.
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scrawnydutchman · 7 years
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When Should a Franchise be Revived?
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So as the common fan of film and television has more then likely noticed by now, reboots, remakes and revisions are everywhere. Pandering towards our collective nostalgia has proven to be far more profitable and less risky then creating a whole new original classic for our mass consumption. The people have voted with their wallets on what they’d like to see, and now EVERYBODY is doing it. Cartoon Network rebooted Powerpuff Girls and will continue to bring back Ben 10. We’ve seen reboots of Fantastic Four and other superhero properties in recent years thanks to the everlasting boom of Marvel comics popularity. Power Rangers, Smurfs and other nostalgic franchises of old are coming back. Even the animation powerhouses of Disney and Pixar, who can earn a profit simply by slapping their name on a film, have decided it was more worthwhile to continuously remind everyone of how great and ambitious they used to be . . . . rather then continue to be great and ambitious.
Yeah, as anybody who has read an article I wrote previously about the Beauty and the Beast remake in particular and just knows me in general will have figured out by now that I am HIGHLY opposed to this phenomenon. I think it’s a discouragement of mold changing ideas, it tells our future generation that the great idea they had for a new movie or show will be supported by absolutely no one, and it generally makes our culture come to a grinding halt. It’s especially ironic because these franchises we want to come back so badly are so great in the first place BECAUSE they challenged our sensibilities when they first came out, rather then pandered to them. They redefined what could be expected from our entertainment, they changed the way we look at a medium, they made all encompassing shifts in our culture. Remaking Beauty and the Beast doesn’t shift our culture, or at least it doesn’t shift us forward. It just holds us back. We could have put that same money into creating a new spectacular film that was so jaw droppingly amazing it RIVALED the original Beauty and the Beast in it’s majesty, instead of just trying to live up to it. Now, I have to come clean; I have not seen the new Beauty and the Beast so upon seeing it my mind could VERY much change upon a viewing, but I’m personally really self conscious about putting my hard earned money towards a mentality I greatly oppose, and truthfully at this point I might go in with a bias of “ready to hate it” where I don’t go in expecting a movie, I go in being like “okay . . impress me”, which for any art completely changes your outlook. When I see it, if I see it, I’ll have to take time to change my mindset in the name of being fair. On the other hand the whole movies marketing strategy is “remember the first movie?” so I’ll likely know exactly what to expect.
All of that said, bringing back a franchise is not ALWAYS bad, in fact sometimes I too get incredibly hyped about the news of one returning. There are certain exceptions of the rules, and I’m here to create a distinction between when you SHOULD bring a franchise back, and when you should just leave good enough alone.
1. It should be something that didn’t have a satisfying conclusion
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One of my absolute favorite shows growing up was Teen Titans. Action packed, suspenseful, heartwarming, sometimes scary, hilarious and overall dripping with charm, this show was a clever blend of western animation and anime tropes brought together to make a really thrilling colorful ride with the unforgettable main case of Robin, Beast Boy (my favorite as a kid), Cyborg, Raven and the lovely adorable Starfire (who is my new favorite after rewatching this great series). As wonderful as this show was, it has an infamously unsatisfying conclusion. Without giving too much away to people yet to see this show, basically a major character from a previous story arc comes back without remembering who they were, one of our main heroes tries to help them but then has to leave them to continue crimefighting. And that’s it. That’s all we got. No answers to why this character came back, no answers as to what this means for the team, nothing about why their memory is lost. The show just ended without warning. If this show came back and kept telling amazing stories featuring our favorite motley crew of teenage superheroes and had an entire arc about how this character came back, you bet your ass I’d watch it. I WANT ANSWERS DAMMIT. Besides, part of the ingeniousness of the Superhero genre is that it’s so broad and limitless you can tell an infinite amount of stories with it. It just lends itself to being an ongoing franchise. Which leads to my next point.
And before anyone brings it up, yes, I’m aware of Teen Titans Go. I just try my best to forget about it.
2. You have a premise with potential for more stories. 
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Coming up with a timeless premise is a difficult task. How do you come up with a plotline that’s timelessly epic or intriguing and is easily accessible to fans from every generation? Well, more often then not the answer is to make your premise as simple as possible, and to play towards themes everybody can relate to. One Piece is a great example, being one of the longest going franchises EVER and being SO successful it beat Spider-Man for the number 3 spot of best selling comic book franchise of all time (and at the rate it’s going it’s not unlikely it will beat Batman and Superman in the next few years). That’s because the premise is very easy to understand: Guy wants to become king of the pirates, to do so he must find the thing everybody is looking for, hijinks ensues and he meets a bunch of new friends along the way. With a premise as broad as this you can go ANYWHERE with it, and as a result this series has some of the most expansive lore out there where even the smallest character has the most intriguing arc. They’re always going to new islands, they’re always finding new bad guys to beat up, they’re always overcoming new bizarre challenges, and because the story essentially ends when our main lead finds his treasure, which could be at anytime, it can be as long as it wants. It also means if it were ever to end randomly without Luffy finding the One Piece it wouldn’t be out of place to just bring it back a few years later.
3. The franchise has potential not fully realized
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Now, after the recent success of the new Beauty and the Beast in the box office you’ve probably heard that Disney has a SHIT TON of remakes in the works for the near future. They’re basically remaking everything, regardless of how much sense it makes. Barf. But that said, there are a FEW Disney remake examples I wouldn’t mind seeing tbh. The biggest one for me is Treasure Planet, reason being that it was a passion project by originators of the Disney Renaissance John Musker and Ron Clements, that was held back since it’s inception (thanks Katzenburg) and once it FINALLY got released it essentially bombed in the low point of Disneys popularity at the time. Now it sits alongside it’s brother Atlantis: The Lost Empire as the nostalgic Disney films fans get to at the END of their marathon, if even that. It’s a shame because this really is a neat idea. Treasure Island in space with a steampunk vibe really lends itself towards incredible and imaginative visuals (even if this movie has sort of a weird style of not quite mesh between historical and futuristic). I’d like to see a live action remake of this because the first movie doesn’t get the respect it deserves, especially for being the passion project that it is (poor Musker and Clements) and live action CGI has potential for bringing this premise to life in a way that was limited for it’s time due to this idea being held back for years. Plus I’d like to see this movie fix the problems the old one had (and when I say fix, I mean ACTUALLY MAKE BETTER, not just address knitpicky bullshit like so many people who think they’re smarter then a 90s movie when they actually just demonstrate that they completely miss the point. BEAUTY AND THE BEAST ISN’T ABOUT STOCKHOLM SYNDROME. okay, rant over). I for one would just blend the two styles a little closer together so it looks more like a steampunk mesh and less like .  . . regular pirate ships with rockets taped on. Also, get rid of the robot. Just cut him out entirely.
So yeah, those are the 3 reasons I think would make bringing a franchise back acceptable. If your franchise had an unsatisfying conclusion, has potential for more stories and perhaps was incredibly limited upon it’s initial release, I see no reason not to talk about it again. And if you can hit all 3 of them then man, at that point you have a DUTY to bring it back.
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Now those of you who saw the top picture was probably wondering when the hell I was going to mention the new season of Samurai Jack. Well rest assured, I saw it. And it. Is. AMAZING!!!!!! Seriously, this is some of the most spectacular stuff I have ever seen in an animated series. You are doing yourself a disservice if you are not watching Samurai Jack right now. But incidentally, the franchise itself just so happens to fit all 3 of the criteria I mentioned. The Samurai Jack series DID have an unsatisfying conclusion; we never saw Jack return to the past. The simple yet ingenious premise of Samurai Warrior gets flung into bad past by arch enemy and has to get back to the past to undo the damage done by him lends itself a LOT to endless possibilities for storytelling. It’s beautifully broad and in a futuristic setting, so you can put Jack in any situation you want. A western? go ahead. A fairy tale? Absolutely. Scotland? Why not? An Alice in Wonderland homage? You bet your ass! Sometimes the premises just write themselves. And finally, this new season is the vision of Genndy Tartakovsky fully realized. It’s no longer held back by censorship towards children or a constraint in budget. It has complete permission to go all out. The scenery is more beautiful then ever before, the action is awe inspired, the suspense is intoxicating, the new use of gore is artistic beyond all hell, and it maintains everything great about the old series and improves upon them. THIS IS HOW YOU BRING A SERIES BACK.
Now, compare that to Beauty and the Beast. The original is also an awe inspired risk taking and breathtaking work of art that really challenges the conventions we used to know and love. But the facts are: it had a satisfying conclusion, there were no more stories to tell (despite the efforts of the terrible direct to DVD sequels) and it was it’s own potential fully realized. The remake has nothing to offer but nostalgia for a movie you can watch any time if you wanted and the promise that it will fix what was never broken. Beyond that, all it’s got is songs we’ve already heard, a cast of talented people, granted, but would frankly be better off putting their talent to a fresh idea that needs the exposure more, and cgi that’s nothing new from what we see every year.
BUT ALL OF THAT SAID . . . there is one factor that breaks all the previously stated rules and warrants the existence of a product no matter where it’s basis comes from . . . honest to God quality. If a movie is genuinely entertaining or enchanting or funny, for any reason at all, then it’s done it’s core job and that’s that. So maybe I will be pleasantly surprised by this new Beauty and the Beast, it’s totally plausible. I’ve heard friends of mine say it’s BETTER then the original . . . I can’t help but remain skeptical and a little pessimistic at the whole idea, but fun is fun so, if you enjoyed it, don’t let me stop you from doing so.
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jaggedwolf · 7 years
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The 2016(*) Queer Recs List
 Thought I’d just throw up a list of the works  I’ve consumed this past year that had queer themes/characters and I thought were decent to awesome. Includes 1 work from 2015 because that’s how I roll. Probably will be dominated by queer women because biases, man.
* Read: As in consumed in 2016, not necessarily produced then.
Games
Birdland : Interactive text fiction, more than a game I would say. The protagonist, Bridget, is a very anxious 14 year old at summer camp. Somehow made me nostalgic for summer camp despite never attending such a thing, the bird dreams made me so gleeful in their ridiculousness, and I really like mechanics for keeping track of your various statistics (Guile, Melancholy, etc.) Still has replay value even though there aren’t different endings, imo. Has a prequel and a very short sequel. 
Undertale: A really fun game that gets meta on the notion of RPG’s, with a very lovable cast of characters to boot. Somehow is ridiculously meme-y without making reference to actual memes. I care about all the characters, but I particularly appreciate the presence of Alphys, the nerdy queer scientist lizard that she is. The main game combat mechanic is bullet hell, fyi.
We Know The Devil: Visual Novel where you follow three teenagers at a vaguely-religious camp, only in this world God sends messages through sirens and sometimes you’re the Devil. The main mechanic is that every hour, you get to choose which two characters do something together (fix a siren, find a charm, etc), and so, which character is left out. Haunting, with excellent background choices and pretty ending visuals. I finished run-throughs of all endings in 2.2 hours or so.
TV Shows
Wynonna Earp: Feels a little like a successor to Buffy. Plot isn’t very rigorous but it hits so many of my narrative ids that I don’t even care - tight sibling relationships, fucked up childhood dynamics following people to the present, dorky gay female character. I am not irritated by either of the main male characters which is an Achievement for television most of the time.
Supergirl: I mean, do you want to see a golden retreiver puppy of an alien beat up bad guys? Her protective older sister realising very late how gay she is? A superhero show with heart? Then watch Supergirl. Something I recently realised I appreciate about the show is how distinct Supergirl’s relationship to Krypton is from Superman’s. Clark landed on Earth a baby - he never knew what he lost. Kara landed on Earth a 13-year old - she knows she is going to be the last person to remember what Krypton is like, and for all her joy, you can see that knowledge in her too. 
Steven Universe: What an extraordinarily kind show, which isn’t what I expected from it tbh. I went in expecting a smol child and his gay alien space rock moms, and in return I got a cast of characters flawed in a variety of damaging ways and show letting them improve themselves. Also some A+ loyalty kink re: all of Pearl’s Rose issues.
Movies
Big Eden: Honestly, this was just a sweet, slow movie. A love triangle between three dudes that isn’t really a love triangle, just people unsure how/if to make space for others in their lives.
The Way He Looks: A very cute Portuguese film about a blind teenage boy trying to get more independence from his protective parents, and along the way getting a crush on the new guy at school. 
Books - Nonfiction
Alan Turing: The Enigma by Andrew Hodges: Really awesome biography that covers the entirety of Turing’s life, going into all the little details that made the man who he is. I loved that it wasn’t afraid to go a little in depth into the actual math Turing was working on. The book is very clearly the better for being a book about a gay English mathematician that is written by another gay English mathematician. 
Fic
...tbh do I read fic that isn’t gay in some way?? Have recs scraped from my bookmarks anyway.
Steven Universe
The Birds and the Battlefields by DrJekyl: Literally just Pearl explaining to Mystery Girl how extraordinarily fucked the Crystal Gems are re:the Homeworld situations, but holy fuck what a good Pearl PoV - nervous and trying to change old habits even as she’s terrified of it.
Haikyuu 
OUT! by TheHaruWhoCanRead : Oikawa comes out as gay in a magazine, changing the course of closeted Yamaguchi’s first year at Karasuno. The author makes it very clear that it's a Western take on coming out using Haikyuu characters as a vehicle, and thus not representative of gay life in Japan - with that caveat, I can say this is my favourite Haikyuu longfic I've read. The way it weaves Yamaguchi's and Oikawa's narratives in with canon, how it handles the Karasuno team and managing to create a believable OC worthy of the main character all should be praised. Also, excellent Yamaguchi narrative voice, I think a few paragraphs in I was already here for it.   
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The house of Us, jk, me
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As funny as it may sound, this picture up here is a house. Yes, it is. What you can see here is an overview of its roofs. It looks weird it isn’t? Much more of a helicopter thing or something. However, I found out that as cliché as it may sound, this picture represents more about me that what a single page essay can do. Subconsciously, as I drew this picture, I managed to put the signature of my inner me unto its points, creating a visual mirror that reflects my inner me and provides a glimpse on who I really am.
In order to fully visualize this drawing, I made an electronic image just to make things clearer. Here it is.
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Drawing of the house, 21st century A.D. colorized
This house has some distinct characteristics. The left area is the parking area. The green ones are plants. The red one is the staircase going towards the front gate. The yellow ones are the CCTV cameras scattered all around the house. Also, it contains 3 floors, the ground floor has a living room, a kitchen and a comfort room. The second floor contains five rooms. The third has a terrace, a studio and a stockroom. Anyone can enter the house as long as they have my permission.
When we try to visualize the house, it seems that it doesn’t sound like Mijs anything at all. However, if we look closely, we can see some neat similarities.
First, the statement “anyone can enter the house as long as they have my permission”, is a bit tricky. It is ironic because anyone can enter but they need to have permission first so basically, not anyone can enter. This reflects one unique aspect in me. I always wanted to be friends with everyone, but then subconsciously, I pick out friends carefully without me noticing it.
During my entire stay on earth, I haven’t got a lot of friends tbh. I always ask myself, “why am I not friends with everyone whom I spend time with?” Is it because they don’t like me at all? However, I realized and observed that I don’t go along comfortably with the people that are not like me. Yes, I can talk to them, be nice, have a conversation, but in the end, these are just masks. The real me, the jolly playful type of me, is accessible only to those that I am comfortable to be with. For people whom I don’t share the same traits with, I am a plain introvert without any sense of humor at all. Anyone can enter and be friends with me, but at the same time, only those whom I approved can see behind my masks.
Second is the staircase. It means that the house is a bit elevated from the ground. I noticed something bad about me that relates to this. Sometimes, I become too proud of myself and I would fail to realize how broke I really am. I lift myself above other people that I forgot that everyone is created and loved equally. I am currently on a struggle now to crush my pride entirely. I know it is difficult, but I pray that someday, those stairs would be gone.
Third are the plants. I do love plants. They provide peace and comfort. I think that although life may be full of complicacies and struggles, I would still want some space and comfort to breathe out negativities. In the same way, I always want some clean space aside from acads. I noticed it well when I didn’t join any academic org, and just chose a religious org and a scholar’s org just to balance out the stress.
Fourth is the parking lot. As you can see, it contains only a space for one vehicle. I found it clearly that I am not materialistic. I just want to get what I need, and I think I don’t need a lot of cars, they would just get rusty in the end.
Fifth are the CCTVs scattered all around the house. I secure myself always that I really do value the significance of constant surveillance. Aside from me being able to monitor all the things that happen inside me, I mostly depend on God who supervises me always. I feel comfortable whenever I think that Someone is constantly watching over me, keeping track of the things that I should improve, and stuffs that I should remove. Also, having the conscious me in charge of monitoring myself is a good thing. In this way, I could reflect on my actions often and improve my sense of well-being.
Finally, and the most controversial one is the drawing being in the overview. At first glance, this may not even look like a house. The top view characteristic of this reflection provides a sense of mystery regarding its dimensions. How tall is the house? How many windows does it contain? Does it have a door? What color is it?
These things are hidden, and even I don’t know exactly the answer. This could mean a thing- that there are aspects of me which remain in the deepest concealment, ever wanting to bulge out and reveal itself. Aspects which are hidden to everyone including me. Who knows? Will I receive my full essence when I got to fully know myself? Or will I ever fully know myself? Would it be possible to have a full knowledge about ourselves? And if we wouldn’t, will we ever consider ourselves as “ourselves”, if the only thing we know about it is a tiny portion of what it really is?
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