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tojivu · 1 year

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PLEASE CALL ME [01]

a/n part 1 out of idk.. anyways this was so heavily inspired by phoebe bridger’s songs.. i’m so obsessed with her (=´∀｀) oh and also by a book i finished a long time ago but haven’t gotten over lol. i tried writing this in 3rd person pov but tbh it’s hard for me to display emotion in my writing if it’s 3rd person cus it’s like giving u instructions on how to feel 😭. I KNOW ITS 2023 OKAY I KNOW WE DONT LIKE 1ST PERSON ANYMORE BUT PLS LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT

warnings/tags barely proofread (i tried), if yall don’t like tis i’ll probably discontinue it LOL, childe x implied f!reader, sfw.

listen to chinese satellite by phoebe bridgers.

“Good morning.” Ajax is speaking to you, voice low. “It's a hot day.”

You were shivering, actually. Mornings were always cold no matter what the temperature was. Nevertheless, you nod and agree with him anyway. “Yup, isn’t it?”

You two were standing outside your house, waiting for the other to initiate the walking, to which you end up doing it. He follows behind, the path too narrow to fit the two of you—this was a familiar sound. Heavy footsteps you could only recognise to be Ajax’s only two metres behind you. You don’t need to turn around to know he’s staring at the back of your head.

Such a nostalgic feeling, you think. You and him have been passing by the same trees and the same brown-cream coloured houses for 5 years now.

“Can you believe that we’re graduating in two months?”

He doesn’t answer.

You repeat the question again and he finally responds. You turn around, curious as to what had gotten him so distracted; his phone is in his hand, he’s looking into it and it’s pointing at you—his bright yellow phone case pales in comparison to the smile he has on his face.

“Not even going to let me pose?”

“You don’t need to do that. Your morning face is enough.”

“What does that even mean?”

“You’re pretty when you wake up.”

It’s 6 in the morning. Ajax was never one to think before he speaks, especially when the sun had just risen 5 minutes prior. You ignore what he says, assuming he just couldn’t tell that isn’t something you say to friends.

“Sure.”

—

It’s 8:27 am. You’ve been sitting through an hour of English, and you swear you thought the subject couldn’t get any more boring than when it was in middle school. You’re spinning your blue MUJI 0.5 tip pen between your middle and index finger, ultimately failing after 5 seconds and letting it drop to the floor. It rolls away, farther than you could bend and reach for—a soft metal clinking sound is heard when you realise it’s hit someone’s chair.

The red and black coloured backpack on the floor next to the chair made it obvious where your pen had gone and who’s chair it hit.

You whisper-yell, “Hey, can you pick that up?”

Ajax turns around and looks at you and then the floor. You’re thankful as he picks up the pen, but then quickly confused as to why he just turns forward again—keeping your pen at his desk.

—

YOU: It feels as though the evening has been stretched, like time is in slow motion and not in a good way; because I’m looking at Ajax sitting across from me and we have not spoken. I have a cup of coffee in my right hand, much too sweet for my own taste; a cat drawn from the latte art I don’t remember requesting. I’m very sure I asked for a bunny. I’m very sure. I think I left my Math textbook in class. The trees look really lively or something like that, I don’t really know, I am making sure to look away from Ajax because I know he’s staring.

“What?”

“What what?” He acts like he wasn’t just staring at me for the past 5 minutes. “Is there a problem?”

“My problem is that you’re being weird today.”

His mouth is agape, too dramatic to be genuine. “That’s rude.”

I don’t know what to reply to him now, knowing that he’ll just continue acting stupid. My shoes squeak against the wooden flooring as I lean back in my chair, it’s evening now and I’m so exhausted. People from the high school three streets away from ours are filling the tiny place up, passing by our table and some stare at Ajax as they do. The oak tables that were empty just a half hour ago are now full of teenagers, this whole place is infested with us; behind, left and right.

It’s not weird for people to stare at Ajax when we’re out together. It’s not like he’s a celebrity or anything, but somehow every girl I know has heard of him or has heard of him from someone who has heard of him. It’s a big chain of people I find impossible to keep track of. If you mentioned his name anywhere, someone would definitely go “you know him too?”.

I’m drinking my tea slowly and quietly. A group of girls are laughing so loud my eardrums could burst. Another group of girls walk in and the familiar bell sound of the café entrance rings, and it’s no surprise they know Ajax too; he smiles at them, I can’t tell if out of politeness, when they walk by. They’re giggling to themselves and I can’t help but feel a bit lost.

“What’s wrong with you today?” He’s asking me as if multiple things aren’t wrong with him. Suddenly, I’m the one with the problems.

I don’t bother anymore, I think about that moment minutes ago over and over again and I have no idea what to make of it. That giggle wasn’t a “what a coincidence” giggle, more like a teasing sort, the kind your friends do when your crush talks to you.

“Nothing is wrong with me.” I’m lying. “I’m gonna go home.”

He is so clueless, so oblivious to everything it is paining me. Oblivious to the amount of girls that are looking his way in this very establishment, at this very moment in time. It makes me almost angry, somewhat, that he doesn’t know.

—

AJAX: It is 7 P.M. and dark out. I think she’s angry but she’s just slouching over, but I get some sort of sensing that she will explode if I try to talk to her.

“Helllooo.” I’m next to her now, and she doesn’t want to reply to me; her eyes are on mine, eyebrows furrowed and clearly sending a message: Don’t even say anything.

I feel myself smiling because she looks very adorable. She is much shorter than I am. When she’s angry, I’m never able to take her seriously. I don’t think I ever have. Oftentimes in her fits of anger I am caught admiring her, smiling because I think she is so dramatic. When we were 15 she once yelled at me for using her charger, and apparently ‘making her phone charge slower’. She is one of the angriest and most short tempered people I know, yet I think she pulls off the frustrated pout and narrowed eyes very well. It doesn’t matter much to me.

“I’m not gonna ask what’s up with you because you got mad when I did.”

She looks forward again and we are still walking. Her house is still a few blocks down. I think she’s getting tired, too. I shouldn’t have dragged her to get milk tea with me. This path is too narrow to fit the two of us.

I walk in front of her and I can hear her tongue clicking out of annoyance. I bend down and stretch my arms, “Get on my back”.

I feel weight shifting onto my upper back, her long hair is tickling my neck but I don’t mind. Her arms are tired, slow in their movements as they wrap around me too, her head on my right shoulder and she does not say a word in all of it.

“Thank you.” she is whispering to me a few minutes later, and I think I am getting tired too. My legs want to give out. They don’t because I don’t let them.

It’s another 10 minutes and I’m at her front door, unlocking it using the key in her wallet; her parents are on the couch and watching TV and I start to wonder what this would look like to them.

“Ajax?” Her mother turns her head around and is surprised to see me, considering I wasn’t calling to say I was coming over. I haven’t done that in months.

“Is she okay?”

“She’s just tired, that’s all.” I tell her and I try my best not to speak too loud in case the girl on my back wakes up. I can feel her breaths on my back, slow and controlled. I bring her upstairs to her room and I lay her on her bed. Her room has changed quite a bit since I had last been in it, her desk is much more organised than it was a few months ago.

I found myself rejecting her invitations to hang out in her room over the summer break.

I think if I were to be alone in a room with her for too long I would end up blurting it out. I would tell her I’ve loved her since we started being friends, and she’d kick me out of her house and never talk to me again. But now she’s sleeping and I think I’m okay, so I pull her blankets over her and whisper; “Goodnight, I love you”.

—

YOU: I have no idea what day it is. I feel sticky. I look around and after a few seconds I sigh out of relief, realising this is my house, and these are my bedsheets. I don’t remember how I got here, though, my uniform is still on and the last thing I can recall is me on Ajax’s back.

I reach for my phone but realise it’s dead. A post-it note is next to my nightstand, ‘You’re welcome for the ride back. Call me when you wake up You owe me’, and on the bottom right corner there is an ugly and disproportionate cat drawn.

He didn’t even have the courtesy to remove my socks for me, but I guess that’s fair because I don’t think I’d go anywhere near his feet either.

I plug my phone into my charger and wait. I don’t know if he wants me to call him, but I think I should, I want to.

28 days later and i’m back with this shitty fic — 130423

#genshin x reader #genshin impact #childe fluff #childe x reader #childe angst #childe x reader fluff #childe x reader angst #genshin angst #genshin fluff #genshin x reader fluff #genshin x reader angst #tartaglia x reader #tartaglia fluff #tartaglia angst

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groovydazestudent-stuff · 4 days

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Taming ofthe Shrew

Snippet of something I tried to write years ago that never went anywhere. Remus Lupin X OC, Sirius Black scheming, nerdy flirting. kink if you squint

1.2k words

"Juuuniiiii" I could hear Sirius whine from the row behind, stage whispering to get my attention. Merlin, I just want to get this question done, can't he let me be for one goddamn moment. " I know you can hear me" Sirius shifts in his seat to lean closer "I need help with the muggle studies essay meet me in the Gryffindor common room?"

"Aye no, I need to run through new plays with my team" trying to focus on the work in front of me.

"tomorrow?" He looks at me with those stupid puppy dog eyes. Sirius doesn't ask for help, he's up to something.

I hesitate "Fine." What is that boy up to? I didnae think he studied, on a Friday night no less!

If I get one more look from one of these bloody Gryffindors I'm leaving, he's fecking late, I guess I'll help him some other time. I turn back to my book, try and ignore the gits walking by and gaggle of Third years giggling coming up with reasons I'm sat in their common room.

The amount of people in the common room dwindles, it's getting dark out where the bloody hell is he?

"Juniper!" merlins beard gimme a heart attack why don't you! Remus was stood at the bottom of the stairs looking equally surprised by my presence.

"Hullo, Remus" I swear this boy is getting taller.

"hi...sorry um not to sound rude but what are you doing here?" he stumbles over his words, how precious "I-just mean, 'cause you're a Hufflepuff ya'know?

"oh aye thank you for noticing, no I'm meant to be helping Sirius with Muggle Studies" meant to be.

"Oh, well he actually asked me to help him with the potions essay hence" Lifting the books and parchment in his hands.

"Funny. He's not in your dorm I take it?" Remus shakes his head, merlin those curls are bouncy. "well I'll just have to wait here to tell 'im off then" turning back to my book.

"Do you like him?" What? He quickly clarifies "Shakespeare I mean, well his work," he says clearing his throat.

"oh aye this one's my favourite 'taming of the shrew', bit problematic but it has some good scenes ." I wonder if he's read it. "I have to admit it's always better performed," I turn back to the page I was on and murmur "s'not meant to be read."

"What part are you on?"

"where Kate and Petruchio meet for the first time." I smile, hoping he knows why. It can be a hilarious scene if it's done right. He nods and I go back to my book, play? script, no um-.

"Good morrow, Kate for that's your name, I hear." Hmm, he knows the first line, okay let's see how much boy wonder remembers.

"Well have you heard, but something hard of hearing. They call me Katherine that do talk of me." I attempt to put on the character, probably a good thing I didn't decide to be an actor as a bairn.

"Liar." I feel myself getting warm as he looks at me, eyes boring into me" for you are called plain Kate, and bonnie Kate, and sometimes Kate the curst, but Kate, the prettiest Kate in Christendom, Kate of Kate Hall, my super-dainty Kate, For dainties are all Kate and therefore," he pauses slowing himself "Kate. Take this of me, Kate of my consolation: Hearing thy mildness praised in every town, thy virtues spoke of, and thy beauty sounded, yet not so deeply as to thee belongs. I am moved to woo thee for my wife."

Shite okay, pretty boy. I get up from my seat to stand in front of him just to be sure he cannae read my book.

"'Moved,' in good time. Let him that moved you hither, remove you hence." I feel myself smile a little as I watch him think over his next lines, "I knew at first you were a moveable."

"Why, what's a moveable?" He asks already knowing the answer.

"A joint stool."

"You're right, actually." his confidence falters as he hesitates on the rest o' the line "Come, sit on me."

I didnae think he was actually going to continue, well, I'm gonna have some fun with this one. I decide to do it and sit in his lap. Good lord, does he always smell like this? what is that, chocolate? line, what's the line. "Asses are made to bear, and so are you." I read attempting to regain my stubborn kate-like demeanour.

"Women are made to bear, and so are you," he says lightly patting my stomach. that smug mother fecker.

"Not by the likes of you!" I get up in an attempt to seem angry and not at all flustered.

Mockingly "Oh heavens, Kate, I wouldn't think of burdening you. I know how light and carefree you are." my he's really gotten into character, who knew.

"Too light for such a swain as you to catch, and yet as heavy as my weight should be." ooh we're getting to the fun bit, I wonder if he'll-

"' Should be'—should buzz!" he gets up off the lounge.

"Well like a buzzard, Buzz off!" he continues to move closer.

"If I'm a buzzard, you're a turtledove." He winks! what's this boy trying to do to me."Come, my little wasp, you're too angry."

Hmph well " If I be waspish, best beware my sting." I step toward him in an attempt to regain my composure. bad Idea.

"My remedy is then to pluck it out." he says, has his teeth always been this nice? Gods I wish I could wipe that stupid, smug look off his stupid face.

"Oh aye, if the fool could find it" I wonder how far he's going to take it, he clearly knows the play well.

"Who knows not where a wasp does wear his sting? In his tail." he's bloody close, merlin's beard.

"In his tongue." keep it cool, it is just a boy, wow he has so many little scars you wouldnae see until you get this close, they're faded, old.

"Whose tongue?" oh um-.

"Yours, if you talk of tales. And so farewell." I move back toward my things picking them up off the couch.

"What, with my tongue in your tail?"He's stood directly behind Merlin oh mighty "Nay, come again, Good Kate. I am a gentleman." oh my lord his hand slides down my waist, I smack it away before he moves any lower trying to stay in character.

"A gentleman? that I'll try!" whipping around to face him. Bloody hell he's staring into my soul I swear, he grabs my wrist and pulls me closer.

"I swear I'll cuff you if you strike again." Holy shit who are you and what have you done with boy wonder. No stop we're friends, but that cuffing thing dinnae sound so bad. oh crap, he's looking at me. you know kissing him wouldnae be a bad idea right now. If I just leaned forward a bit-

"Nice one James!" oh shite,

Remus and I quickly sort ourselves. Like nothing happened, hm."Oi, what happened to muggle studies hmm? what happened to 'oh please I'm failing I need your help' 'it has to be Friday night'?" I turn my attention to Sirius.

"I forgot?" of fucking course, I collect my stuff and proceed to walk toward the portrait hole.

"wait!" Remus stumbles over pulling on his robes "I'll walk you back if we get caught this late I can say I caught you out during rounds and am escorting you back."

"oh yeah, Mr prefect" I forgot about that." you hoping for head boy next year?"

"Nah."

#remus lupin #remus lupin x oc #remus lupin x named reader #remus lupin fanfiction #marauders

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rosietaeyongswife · 2 years

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reflections | kim doyoung

GENRE: angst WC: 1.3k SUMMARY: we were too close to the stars. do you know when you’re going to come back?

another rainy day made doyoung even sadder than he already was. whenever weather isn’t sunny, he feels very unmotivated. seems like weather and nature are against him today.

“guys, have you heard?” mark lee, co-worker of doyoung, was shouting. “y/n was in an interview for times. her book became a bestseller in south korea and united states.”

group of guys gave each other known look, and taeyong could only slap his friend arm, which was surprising for mark because he didn’t catch what he just said. mark was about to ask when he saw doyoung’s face. his older friend was looking away, pale and seems to be lost in thoughts.

“i heard of new restaurant being opened today. i think we all should go out for dinner after work.” johnny rolled his eyes at mark. “what do you think doyoung?”

“uhm?” he raised his eyes at johnny. “uh, yes sure.”

“then we’ll see at 7.”

“don’t think too much about it.” taeyong hugged his best friend. “we’re going out today so try to think about it. not about her.”

“i’ll try my best.”

and with that, whole mood of doyoung was ruined. doyoung hated it, no matter where he is there’s always something which reminds him of you. last night he was walking by nigh club and some girl looked exactly like you. week ago he visited his mother on her birthday, and when he was buying flowers he noticed your favorite ones. no matter where he is, he hears as someone talks about you or your succes.

“my mother made me go on a blind date.” jaehyun took a sip of his bear. “i swear to god, as soon as i heard that i had my head spinning. it’s not a first time my mother left me in a weird sitution.” jungwoo chuckled. “but besides that, i told her i don’t want to go so she yelled at me.”

“your mother is one and only, jaehyun.” taeil laughed. “i’m still waiting for her number tho.”

“taeil, shut the fuck up.” jaehyun gave him dirty look. “don’t try to hit on my mother, your dumbass.”

“did you go out or not?” haechan rolled his eyes. “be quicker with your silly story.”

“yes, i did.” he smiled proudly. “she told me, she won’t talk to me unless i try her out. we met few days ago, and surprisingly it went pretty good. she’s very nice, brave and smart. besides, she looks like a real life queen.”

“you hit a jeckpot.”

“yes, we’re going on next friday again.”

“am i the only single one?” jungwoo raised his hand while others laughed.

“no, me too.” yuta and haechan raised their hands.

“and me.” doyoung gave them little smile. “it’s feels great to be single again.”

“of course, being single is so fun. i don’t have to worry about doing anything, i don’t have to save money or remember stupid things.” haechan said with a smirk on his face. “and i am not a damn simp like some of you.”

taeyong looked at younger friend in disbelief.

“it’s atucally sucks, i wish i had a girlfriend.” yuta pouted. “i feel like i should settle down.”

“good for you?” jungwoo laughed. “i am glad to be single, right?”

“amen.”

doyoung was laughing along with his friends but he couldn’t pay much attention to whatever they were talking about. again, his mind was all foggy of your image. almost like you’re here with him. just two of you, together and happy in your own, small world.

life’s writing the crulest scenarios for some of people, and doyoung was now one of them. life with you was magical. both of you were meant for each other, and there was much of happines. maybe two of you were too close to the stars? maybe both of you were too good for each other, so that’s why you had to part your ways.

sun down at glade was the last time doyoung and you have spoke.

“i love you.” doyoung kissed you, while you were talking about your new idea for a book. “i’m sorry to interrupt you now, but it’s really important.”

“of course, go on.”

“i can’t be with you anymore. i just hold you back, look at me. i’m doing very bad in my life, and i wish to disapear.” your eyes were watering. “i’ve tried everything and my fatigue only made it worse for us. i don’t want you to spend your life besides someone who can never find peace.”

“doyoung, what are you talking about? i don’t care, you’re my happines. you’re my world and i don’t mind you at all.”

you tried to hug your boyfriend but he backed off.

“i, i-i don’t know what else to say. i want you to be happy.”

“doyoung, if you-”

“i am honest. i want all the best for you, so please.” he stood up. “let’s stop talking to each other. let us be past.”

“doyoung, but i can’t. i love you too much.”

“i love you too, but you can’t waste time with me. you’‘re going to be big one day while i stay me. small kim doyoung.”

since that day nothing was the same. your life turned upside down. few years of solid relationship with your love and it’s gone. like someone broke the balloon you were living in.

past two months you had hopes he’d call. doyoung would show up with his lovely smile, and you could talk for another nonsense for hours again. doyoung would hug you and review your stories. that;s all you wanted. he could reach out but he never did.

there wasn’t second person like kim doyoung. seems like a confident guy but deep down he has his own battles. he’s shy person who can talk about serious stuff only to his closest friends. someone you can count on whenever you needs to. he had never let you down. he had weird hobbies, and amazing voice. his singing made you feel like on a cloud nine.

he should, could but he never would do whatever you were dreaming about. for you it was his cruel behaviour but you didn’t get to chance to know other side of doyoung.

he was hurt deep down. he believed and gaslighted himself into thinking he’s bringing you down. doyoung’s bad days were worse, and he thought only about you. about how he’s not good enough. how empty he can be.

“i’d watch match. today’s barcelona versus real madrid.” jungwoo whines. “please, johnny can you turn tv on?”

“sure dude.”

johnny turned tv on, and there was break between match. some ads come in, and no one paid attention until familiar voice was heard.

“i wrote it book in a month to be fair. i had much more content to create but events that have happened during my writing process, lead me to write new story. i was writing day, night for a whole month. i can tell you, that main character is pretty much mirror of my feelings and situations.”

“so, you’re admitting that story of anne and daniel happened in real life? based on a true feelings?”

“yes, that’s true. i wrote that book with though of some boy who is very close to my heart.”

“i’m so sorry.” interviewer gasped. “i had no idea that so sad story would happen in real life. wasn’t it tough? as we all know, there was no happy end for daniel and anne.”

“of course it was. i hope one day, ‘daniel’ read the book and think about all the good times we spent together. i miss him still and..” you stopped. “and that’s it.”

interview ended due to match. doyoung’s heart was pounding while everyone was speechless. you were literally everywhere and now you were talking about how your book was inspired by yours realtionship.

“i wish she could come back. i want to fix things-”

“doyoung, she’s-”

“no. i don’t care. i miss her so much.”

doyoung broke down which surprised majority of guys. they tried their best to stop their friend from crying which was pointless. kim doyoung is madly in love, and he’s waiting until you come back but there’s no much chance.

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amyelevenn · 2 years

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remember you

PARING: c!Technoblade x gn!reader

SUMMARY: based on the song Remember You by Mars Bars // Italics = your note to Techno

WARNINGS: memory loss (reader), fluff to heavy angst

A/N: had this song on repeat for days for this one

1.6k words - M.LIST

“Oooooh Tech look what I found!” you sing, holding up a gleaming golden crown. Twirling it around your fingers, you laugh at the flash of awe in Technoblade’s eyes, the gold bringing out the hybrid in him.

“Wow,” he breathes, reaching to grab it off you. before he can take it off you, you snatch it away and place it on your head.

“Look!! Now we are matching,” you beam. “Dream would be so jealous he is missing out on such treasure!”

He smirks and struts away, you following hot on his tail, completely oblivious to what you had really just picked up.

My Dearest Techno,

Is it just you and me in the wreckage of the world?

That must be so confusing for a little girl

I know you're going to need me here with you.

But I'm losing myself, and I'm afraid you're gonna lose me too.

The crown felt as if it were burning a hole onto your head. You could feel it weighing you down, but no matter what you did, the stupid thing wouldn’t come off. No matter what you tried, it wouldn’t budge; it was as if it had been glued to your head in your sleep.

You just wanted it to stop, even if it was only a moment of relief.

You searched the cabin for your hybrid friend, but he was nowhere in sight. So, you went for your next resort – your other hybrid friend, Phil.

Trudging through the snowstorm – which concerned you because Techno wasn’t home, so was he in the storm? – you knocked on Phil’s door, shivering through your teeth as he greeted you.

His home was much warmer than Techno’s, a raging fire providing heat and light for the whole cabin.

“What’s up?” he asked, shuffling to the kitchen to pour the pair of you a much-needed cup of tea.

“Well…” you sigh. “Uh- I don’t know how to say this without you thinking I’m weird. Or crazy.”

“I won’t judge, I promise.” He hands you your mug, and you mumble a grateful thank you.

“The crown—” you point to your head, “—it hurts, like it’s burning a hole into my skull. It doesn’t come off for the life of it. I’ve tried so many things and nothing works. I just want it gone.”

“That’s not so bad,” Phil smiles. He shuffles into another room, then comes back holding an old book.

“It’s not just that though, Phil. It… it makes me tired, like fully drains me of my energy. It makes me feel like I’m not in control, and like…it is? I don’t know how to describe it other than I am in so much pain, Phil.”

He sighs, flicking through page after page, not saying anything until he has flipped through the entire book. He stays silent for a moment longer, deciding what to say.

“Is that all?”

“Sometimes, I swear that I’m losing my memory. I can’t remember bits and pieces here and there, but it’s not much. I feel like my brain is slowly slipping through my fingers.”

“Does Techno know?”

You hesitate. “No.”

He sighs again. “You should tell him. This is Probably Dream’s work.”

You scrunch up your face. “Who’s Dream?”

This magic keeps me alive, but it's making me crazy.

And I need to save you, but who's going to save me?

Please forgive me for whatever I do,

When I don't remember you.

“How much do you remember?” Techno mutters, scrubbing the blood off your hands.

You sigh, not replying immediately. Techno gives you time to think, knowing not to rush you.

Everything was a blur – you remember getting up and putting on your cloak, then leaving the house. From there – from the start, really – you weren’t in control. You remember the need, the want, the desire for blood on your hands. You didn’t care who’s or what’s, just that the only thing that could satisfy this newfound hunger would be to see scarlet dripping down your body. Techno said it was only a sheep, but that didn’t settle you in the slightest.

“It’s…” you start, not knowing how to word it without sounding batshit crazy. “It’s like I’m an old school television set… one minute everything is painted and clear. The next moment everything is fuzzy and disoriented.”

Techno falters for a second, and so do the voices. Apart from the gentle swishes of the water in the bathtub, the cabin is quiet.

You relish in the silence, closing your eyes and resting your head on your knees.

“I’m just so tired,” you whimper, your voice is barely above a whisper.

“I know,” Techno huffs. “I know.”

Techno, I can feel myself slipping away.

I don’t remember what it made me say,

But I remember that I saw you frown.

I swear it wasn't me, it was the crown.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, tears lining your eyes.

“Don’t be darlin’, there’s nothing to be sorry for.” Techno gently rubbed your back, something he knew did wonders to calm you down.

“I am sorry. I could’ve hurt you,” you say, your voice wavering and lip shaking, holding back the tears as best as possible.

“You could never hurt me,” he soothes. “Literally though. You couldn’t lay a hand on me if you tried.”

The stupid comment makes you chuckle, a wet smile on your face as he pulls you in for a hug.

“This is the only time you will ever hug me, so savour it,” Techno murmurs, eliciting a sweet laugh from you. He squeezes you tight, and you only pull him closer.

The pair of you stay like that for longer than either of you can count, cuddled up in each other’s arms. Little did you know is that he needed this just as much as you did.

When he moves to pull away, he realises you’ve fallen asleep on top of him. He can’t help the genuine smile on his face, glad that no one s around to see how madly he is blushing. To add to the moment, the voices were low whispers at best, drowned out by your steady breathing in his arms.

It was right then that he decided he would give his life for yours. That he would do whatever he could to protect you, because that last life of yours was way more precious than anything else in this world.

This magic keeps me alive, but it's making me crazy.

And I need to save you, but who's going to save me?

Please forgive me for whatever I do,

When I don't remember you.

Techno could feel his heart shatter into what felt like a million pieces. He knew your decision was the right one to make, but a small, selfish part of him longed to have just had a few more moments with you. A few more moments of you all to himself. He would’ve given anything for one final minute with the old you – the one who still had every piece of their memory.

The voices were all over the place. He could barely make out what they were saying, a whirlwind of emotions driving him to the brink of a breakdown. Some were whispers, murmurs lost in the wind. Others were louder than they had ever been, roaring and screaming instructions at him. The piglin found it weirdly beautiful in the way they contrasted each other – like they were you and him.

The cabin felt dull without you in it. it felt empty, like an important presence was gone. Which, in reality, you were.

Guilt, agony, hurt, heartbreak, sorrow, devastation – you name it – gnawed away at him, gripping and twisting his heart and lungs to the point where he struggled to breathe.

A soft knock on the front door echoed around the quiet room, and Phil didn’t wait for the hybrids response to come in. within sheer seconds, the older knew something was wrong – or at least off. He couldn’t place his finger on it, but he had a gut feeling something bad had happened.

“Their gone,” Techno mumbled, not turning to face Phil. He threw the note onto the table for Phil to read, and got up and walked to his room. The door clicked shut as Phil picked up the frail paper.

He read it once, then again, then thrice over to make sure he didn’t miss anything. (And maybe also because he didn’t want it to be true – you were one of his closest friends, and though it wouldn’t hurt him as much as it would Techno, his heart would still ache now that you wouldn’t be around anymore.)

Phil stayed in the living area for a while, letting the cold draft stir the pot of his thoughts and emotions. He knew Techno would want to be alone, and in all honesty, so did he. For once he didn’t want to talk this out with his friend. He wanted to let everything brew, to lock it into the archives and let the dust collect.

He didn’t want to have to think about losing another person he considered family.

Nor did Techno.

Techno didn’t want to acknowledge the very real possibility that if- when you crossed paths again that you wouldn’t remember him. If (it won’t – he would make sure it won’t) it did happen, he knows he couldn’t recover.

The great Blood God, finally ruined because a measly human can’t remember who he is.

But that wouldn’t happen because you would remember him. That’s why you left. You left to find some help, someone who could get the cursed crown off your head and keep your memory.

As long as he found you again, then that was all that mattered. You had fallen in love with him once before, who is to say you couldn’t do it agan?

Please forgive me for whatever I do,

When I don't remember you.

~ your darling

#technoblade x reader #dsmp techno #technoblade #dream smp #x reader #reader insert #gender neutral reader #angst #memory loss #ameswrites

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icecreamsocialanxiety · 1 year

Text

Silly Lily Chronicles!

['Cuz it's not romantic, I swear! I'm not gasping for air!]

A series of small moments in the office and farther on; from Boris and Kamal's lives pre-Habitat starting from the first time they shook one another's hands.

If they only knew how much they'd influence each other in the coming years in "Forsooth", the musty two-story clinic just down the street...

In their small town of hilltops: Columba Hills, Wyoming.

Originally posted on AO3, circa 2022

Volume 1: Prologue (2023 Revision)

Holy cow! I think I've got one here

Now just what I am supposed to do?

I've got a number of irrational fears...

That I'd like to share with you-u-u~

First, there's rules about old goats like me Hanging around with dudes like you

But I do like you and another one:

You say 'like' too much....

['Cuz it's not romantic, I swear! I'm not gasping for air!]

Volume 1: Prologue

A series of small moments in the office and farther on; from Boris and Kamal's lives pre-Habitat starting from the first time they shook one another's hands.

If they only knew how much they'd influence each other in the coming years in "Forsooth", the musty two-story clinic just down the street...

In their small town of hilltops: Columba Hills, Wyoming.

Originally posted on AO3

Holy cow! I think I've got one here

Now just what am I supposed to do?

I've got a number of irrational fears...

That I'd like to share with you-u-u~

First, there's rules about old goats like me

Hanging around with dudes like you

But I do like you and another one:

You say 'like' too much....

October 13, 1988. Bora Residence.

He was late!!

Good gravy, of course he was! You know, for the ONE THING he was studying at least 8 or 10 years at medical school to go to?! He couldn't even remember he was so late! Honestly, man! He'd be late to his own funeral! Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Kamal practically fell out of bed this morning once he opened his eyes to how high the sun was! Did he forget to set the alarm!?!? He went to bed at 11, it wasn't even that late! 8:30 on the alarm clock was burned in his mind as his throat went all cold turning the knob and booking it out the door.

What was he even doing yesterday evening? Surely it wasn't more important than setting his alarm!

He paced around feverishly to look for his hairbrush. Should he brush his teeth? Probably. Ugh, but not before breakfast, he needs SOMETHING or he'll pass out!

"OOF!"

...Oh don't tell him he just passed out already!

No, he actually just tripped over a closed comic book in bursting out of his bedroom door. More specifically, his Doremon manga. Then it came to him. He was rereading this issue again yesterday.

That silly little kid's comic book he kept reading...just to feel some sort of release in the amount of mental preparation in becoming a real doctor. A dentist. Was he ready for this? Considering how much he wasn't aware of the real world? He could hear his old man and ma getting on his case now to "act his age".

He was hugging his knees again. Agh, he was so totally getting ahead of himself. The day hasn't even started yet. Breathe in....breathe out.

Just take a granola, your ritalin, drink a CRAP ton of water and apply your citrusy jasmine scented deodorant.

Geez, he hoped his boss wouldn't be strict. His deodorant only did so much, even while having an asian benefit of genetically not very pungent pits. Wait. How well does that hold up, though?

Was it all a myth? Or is it because he's thin in particular?

Well...not like your family HAS really stinky pits to start with. That he knows of.

(...Okay, enough with that kind of B.O. talk. You're so weird, Kamal. Stop it. This is why you're lonely.)

Either way....the same couldn't be said for his breath. Ew.

GOD, his breath. DO NOT greet your new boss at the dental clinic with bad breath. Golly.

The chocolate in the granola wasn't coffee but it'll do. He downed it as fast as he could.

Maybe it was for the best, not mixing his adhd meds with excessive caffeine. His brain was already wired enough. Shortly after he brushed his teeth. It would be the last time he'd be just brushing his own pearly whites.

Alright...teal polo shirt...unfortunately baggy pants he couldn't stop himself grabbing last minute...transformers watch...magenta accented sneakers....cartoonish rabbit printed lanyard...

He peered over to his brand new couch. Hippity the beanie buddy sat there cutely, with his pleading beaded eyes.

"Kamal, you still have your doll? I-I mean, I guess I'm a little surprised you like 'em still, yanno.

Considering how you've changed, all your changes."

....

Ignoring that memorized, somewhat backhanded judgment from his mother, he stuffed his soft little friend in his jacket pocket.

Ugh. What does she know?

He imagined a triumphant giggle coming from Hippity since Kamal couldn't bring himself to leave him there. Hippity was good moral support. Just for today, he said. Just for luck.

Maybe it'd be okay.

Today's the first day of the rest of his life. If it's too hard in this weird world to feel like smiling, then the least he could do to help is make sure they had healthy teeth, eh?

...

8:58. Forsooth Dentistry Clinic.

Just in time. He carefully swung his car door closed. God, there was so much traffic! It was ridiculous!

Well, no use in complaining. He did manage to make it. He took out Hippity and hugged him for luck, quickly stashing him in his pocket before anyone saw.

Sigh. Sometimes he truly wished to live a domesticated rabbit's life. When given the right care, they just don't have a care in the world. He liked cats too, but bunnies really got him. No one could replace his childhood bunny, Hopscotch...

But this paycheck could help him out. He could get either/or. Anything to fill the void in the house....oh geez. Daydreaming, Bora. You're doing it again.

He eyed his childish-looking watch. It just flipped from 8:59 to 9:00. Yikes, go inside already.

Behind the door, with a bell jingling on it, was a young purple and redheaded woman as the receptionist. She was typing away at her desk, filing papers.

Kamal let the receptionist know he was here all too awkwardly.

K: 'YELLO!

Ack, er, Hi! I'm here!

Re: Hi there! First day, right?

K: H..Hah, yeah! I'm not late am I?

Re: Oh, no trouble. You should be okay.

K: Cool, cool...

Internally Kamal wanted to burst out crying. But he spared her of witnessing that uncomfortable scene.

...

Re: Name, please?

K: Wha?

Re: Er, your name, doc? I gotta know who's assistant you are, heh!

K: OH. Yes, Doctor Kamal Bora.

Re: Ah. How d'ya spell the first name?

K: K-a-m-a-l?

Re: Kay...lemme see here....

...

Kamal stood there for an awkward amount of seconds....

Re: Ah, sorry for that! Here's your boss!

She handed him a paper over the counter.

Re: You're assigned to Doctor Habit. I heard that one's a bit of an oddball, but he's a hard worker.

Oh. Great. He got the weird one.

K: You don't say?

Re: Ah, but I wouldn't worry too much. Other people just call him strange just because he's rather blunt about things.

Oh, GREAT, he got the strict one?

Re: But like I said, no worries. People spread stuff 'round here too much. G'luck, newbie! Get ready to shake a leg! Or...like, a hand. The paper should say what office he's in. Shouldn't be too far from here.

K: Ah, I gotcha. Thank you much.

The receptionist waved.

...

Going by the paper he found his locker and got his doctor's coat on. It was chilly throughout the clinic so he didn't think to take off his jacket.

The clinic seemed a lot more casual than it first let on when he applied here. Well...I can't let my guard down yet. Gotta try to wow my new boss, I guess. He heard a lot of test drilling down the hall. He hoped it wasn't going to be too overwhelming an hour later when it opened at 10 AM.

This looked to be the station. He was intimidated by the pressure of a first impression; so he masked his fear with his professional persona, greeting his new boss and extending an arm once he was through the door. He didn't really pay attention to where his new boss was, and had his eyes closed upon greeting. Oh gosh.

K: Hey, Doctor Habit right? Pleased to meet'cha. I'm your new assistant, starting today. Dr. Bora.

A rather deep voice with a thick foreign accent (Swedish? French?) that he couldn't pinpoint responded.

Ha: Hullo. I am he.

Dr. Habit looked over his shoulder to see someone not even close to 6 foot at the door. Oddly enough, they had a longer hairstyle like he did. With their eyes closed and a hand extended. He wasn't sure what to make of it other than it seemed to be a handshake invitation. Usually he was to initiate it, as their new boss.

They had either come overprepared, or heard the rumors about him and didn't want to look him in the eye. He scowled a bit at the thought, but still was to accept the handshake. He already knew they'd be put off by him either way. Like the other ones that had asked to be re-assigned...he was used to this by now.

Ha: That I was told. Pleased to meet you as well.

As Habit walked over, his heels making a clopping sound; Kamal was prepared to make eye contact. Look him right in the eye and make sure he knows he'll knock his socks off! And not for the life of him slip up or stutter!!

But then he looked up and---

K: Yeah, good to meet y--!

...

You see, a normal person would just say like "Whoa you're tall" to a man like Habit. But when people think tall they think like...6"5, usually.

They don't usually have SEVEN FOOT FOUR INCHES in mind because that's rather uncommon. And that was Doctor Habit.

With waist length auburn curly hair tied back in a large ponytail; a pea green visage, a rosy nose and bright vermillion eyes he stood out even more. He also seemed to have a patterned lanyard that Kamal wasn't so focused on right now. Could he see right through the mask he put on? He couldn't think normal. His bright golden sepia eyes were shot open in disbelief. But not because he was off put by him, no, far from that.

It was far more embarrassing than that.

(t-tall? TaLL? TALL?? TAALLL???)

Maybe it was because Kamal was kind of half awake and his meds hadn't kicked in yet....but nobody told him he'd be working with some kinda ADONIS?? Was it just him or was Doctor Habit SUPER beautiful??? Was that the word?? CHRIST HELP HIM. WHY WAS HIS FACE WARM.

Oh good lord was he blushing a little? Crap, what was happening. This was a disaster already. He hadn't even been here for an hour. Don't crush on the first man you see, dammit!! DEFINITELY NOT YOUR BOSS!!

[Kamal was kind of just frozen there. His olive toned face flushed rosy, staring up at him wordlessly. Mouth agape.]

Every time. Every single time. I'm so exhausted. Habit was quickly uncomfortable as 10 seconds went by. Habit huffed curtly and that snapped Kamal out of his apparent staggered trance.

K: S-Sorry!? I just u-um....didn't expect---

Habit abruptly interrupted Kamal to shake his hand and get it over with. His hand was at least the size of Kamal's face. And it sure was warmer than it looked. Kamal stayed on that thought a little too much as he spoke.

Ha: Ya, ya. I'm abnormally tall, I wear heels, eyeliner, et she-ra....e-et cetera! Whutever. Look, I'm sure it was a rough drive here and we could both use some coffee. So let's do that, ya?

The impatient type, huh? That's what the receptionist meant he supposed.

Usually Kamal despises putting up with this kind of behavior from anyone, be it minimal to overbearing. But what Dr. Habit responded with sounded sympathetic in nature.

K:...Sure? I...I didn't mean to rude, boss....Mind me.

....

Ha:...No, no. That was on me. Most don't expect someone taller than the average doorframe, so. (Sigh)

Let's have some coffee and begin today's prep work, yes?

Kamal nodded back at him slowly. Still a lot of mixed emotions internally. Why was he so awkward?

It did confuse Habit why this Dr. Bora person was rather rosy in the face.

His previous assistants didn't react like this. Sometimes they'd jump up in fear. All of his previous assistants were under a decade younger than him. Perhaps this one was closer to his age?

Habit knew he couldn't afford having another assistant ask to relocate or be re-assigned. It might impact his job.

It kind of annoyed him honestly. Add it to list of things....

Ha: So...what I'm going to ask is outside of today's training.

K: Huh?

Ha: Your name, Kamal...is it a masculine or feminine one? Or is it neither?

K: My...what?

Ha: Sorry, I meant...er...what's the word....'pronouns'. Yes. I want to make sure I don't misgender you. The clinic doesn't care, but I believe the distinction is severely overlooked.

Wait, really? Was he also....?

K: Well, er...thank you for asking! He and Him for me. Also happen to be a guy, yeah. Kamal's a somewhat neutral name where my folks are from, now that you mention it. You?

Kamal didn't expect this either. Habit wanted to bend the rules for his employee's sake?

Ha: Same as you actually.

K: A-Ah, like the receptionist said?

Ha: Oh...yes.

...Let's get you that coffee, hm?

Did...Habit grin a little a him? Kamal caught a glimpse of it, but it happened.

(He also thought it was really charming.)

Was it 'cuz he caught on to the coding so fast? Maybe he wasn't as weird as his reputation upheld. Maybe he was...nice!

...

9:30 AM.

The minutes had gone by... and boy he sure felt weird again. Kamal had sworn he'd seen this Dr. Habit fellow from somewhere. I mean he did live in town, but like....did they go to the same med school? Now that he thought about it...he recalled bumping into a rather tall gentleman with long curly hair a few times in the halls.

He always apologized but the figure kept on walking with no response. That person in question always seemed glum and low energy. He'd never really heard them speak...maybe because he forgot what they sounded like. They always stood out to him.

Being the sap he is, Kamal tried to reach out them once, slipping a note in their locker last year on Valentine's. No, i-it wasn't romantic or anything! No, no! I mean...not to say he didn't like the mysterious types. [Aughh, but it wasn't like that! He didn't even KNOW the guy.] He just wanted them know that he could be their friend.

He wrote: "Hey there, person I wish I knew! If you ever want a friend my name is Kamal Bora! Reach out to me if you want! I think your style is super hip and like...don't let anyone tell you otherwise, y'know! This time of year can get pretty lonely so, us social outcasts should stick together right? Of course, no pressure. Just know I'm around town. Sincerely, Kamal. :]"

He never really thought it'd go anywhere. He just wanted to try to make a friend.

But the weird thing was.... you'd think he wouldn't even get a response; yet the next day that he went to his locker...there was this intricate colored pencil drawing of a yellow rose on a small slip of paper. Was it from the tall stranger? He couldn't know for sure...but he did remember doodling a bit on that letter too. Was it a response? The piece wasn't even signed, but...oh, the anomalies just kept piling up. He'd likely never know who gave that to him. But he kept that yellow rose drawing on his post board at home...still waiting for that person to give him a response in person.

"So the light fixture is a bit broken. Repairs are coming tomorrow but it'll be a doozy to work with. Honestly I don't know why they can't just let us use a spare room but...such is life, I suppose."

Oh god, he spaced out. Again! How much did he miss...! He was still working on the small latte that was offered to him. He knew he couldn't handle it, good lord....It was already bad that Habit's accent was thick. Hearing it more, he now believed it was russian.

...Was he russian?

K: UhH? Oh! Oh no?! That's bad. Sorry to hear! That will make things weird.

Ha: Luckily, I'm prepared for "slappy-dashed" things such as this!

He was?

Dr. Habit proceeds to unearth FOUR flashlights from his white coat pockets. Where did he even....How??

Ha: This world wouldn't survive without people prepared for the worst! So that's what I did, to save us the trouble. We'll take turns holding the flashlights while the other works on the patient's teeth, ya?

K: U-Uh! Yeah! Sure, boss??

Ha: We can't work on the patient and hold the flashlight at the same time, rite? So it only makes sense.

[Just smile and nod Kamal....I mean...yeah it does make enough sense?]

But Kamal was SO confused.

Okay, was this what they meant by odd? As in...pretty intense? This man was just giving him a wave of emotions. He didn't know whether to think he was intense or um?? Charismatic?

...And kinda really super cute?? At the same time?? Kamal, jesus, get a hold of yourself!! This is just another stupid meaningless crush!

Ha: Okay...well. Did you remember all that, Dr. Bora?

SHOOT. Should he lie??

K: U-Uh. UH....

Ha: It's fine if you didn't. It'll make sense in practice, yes. They had me remember the hard stuff for you.

K: I guess so. You're...eheh. The boss. Literally. I mean, yes...I remember what to do, of course. Ahah.

Habit blinks at him blankly. Then...

Ha: Heh. Funny joke. You're a fun one. Come over to this station.

Kamal couldn't help a grin at the compliment.

Yes, I've got to totally wow him in anyway possible. Really show him how talented I am. That I'm not just a dork from down the street.

....

But suddenly, Kamal heard a PLOP against the marble floor as he kept walking. It was resounding to him...it sounded like a stuffed animal?

Wait. WAIT!! OH GOD. HIPPITY THE BUNNY WAS IN HIS JACKET POCKET THAT'S RIGHT!!

Oh my god. OH MY GOD THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING.

Ha: Hm? Ah...what's...that?

K: I??? diDN'T HEAR AN ANYTHING?

Ha: No, but look...is that a bunny rabbit doll?

Habit paced over to it slowly, pondering the owner.

Ha: Did a patient leave this one behind, or...

Kamal quickly ran back over to the doll, startling Habit as he scooped Hippity back up and attempted to stuffed him back in the inner pocket.

Ha: WH--My goodness, why did you...?

Habit caught sight of his employee's face. Kamal's face was completely red. Was he misty eyed? He looked so ashamed...Why? Habit began to genuinely worry.

K: He...um. Hippity's...he's my bunny. Sorry, this is so unprofessional! Ugh! Don't laugh, okay?! I won't bring him tomorrow, I-I just! Ngh!

No...no...god. He was crying. Right in front of his boss. On the first goddamn DAY.

Weeping while holding his silly little childhood beanie buddy. He probably looked so pathetic right now....

But to his surprise...Habit's tone completely changed.

Ha: Y-You...don't have to embarrassed about this. Don't be sorry.

K: W...Wha?

Ha: Never be sorry for what you cherish, okay? D-Don't let anyone tell you so! Your little Hippity looks very well cared for.

K: I....Thank you?

Habit was looking right at him, genuinely, with not a hint of gruffness in his exterior.

[Was this guy...really just a big softie too?]

This kind of sentimentality was very important to Habit, he learned just now.

Somehow...this helped Kamal recall something, too. He found his train of thought again. He usually can. But this morning has done a number to his stress alone.

About time, really. I guess this coffee's good for something.

He lost sight of his long term goal, why he craved independence in the first place.

And his parents have been nothing but supportive in the long run.

But of course they've had their slip-ups. A LOT. Progress is slow, but gradual.

In truth...His mother, she's actually very considerate of him most of the time. The first person he willingly came out to as trans.

He always unwillingly recalled what she opened with when he was packing up all of his things, when he moved out just a few weeks ago.

"All his changes" meant a guy was strange or a pansy for liking dolls. Right? Is that what you were getting at, mom?

...

Don't you remember? She caught herself. Corrected herself. As she should've.

At least she did that!

...

"I guess I'm a little surprised you like 'em still, yanno. Considering how you've changed, all your changes."

"Wh--MOM! Why the hell would you SAY that??? Seriously?! It's my room, I can keep what ever 'GIRLY' things I want! Ugh! And you call me judgmental?!"

"Ah!? Oh no! Putra, sorry...! I didn't..."

"Didn't WHAT?! Think about what you said! I've had this weird little rabbit doll for like, what, 21 YEARS and this is when you decide to make me insecure about it?!"

"(Huff) Kamal. Listen to me. You know that isn't what I intended. Please let me finish..."

"UGH. Ma, that really smarts you know. I already struggle with my masculinity. Considering it's still pretty much invisible even with my changed voice. What, like am I supposed to pretend my sentiments aren't still attached to the identity that was enforced on me before I could even walk??

Like, I can barely use the needles as is---I...I don't need more insecurity. You and dad are the only ones who KNOW. DON'T make me feel awkward around you guys, too."

"...O-Oh dear, I didn’t realize I struck a nerve so badly. I didn't mean to upset you! No, I...devatas...Sorry. It's just, you know...I'm not you. I can't read your mind. But I'm always here for you. You are my son, my child. I support you no matter what. I made that promise before you were even an idea, you know.

...I lost interest in my dollies, I gave them to your cousins a long while ago.

I mean, if you like them, that's fine! Ignore me, putra.

Me bein' a tomboy shouldn't reflect on you. You are a strong individual at heart, my son. And I'm sorry. This is the beginning of your career. Your own altruism."

...

A strong individual at heart....how did something so important get forgotten so quickly?

Am I really that scatterbrained?

....No, you know that's just the ADHD. You're not "scatter-brained". You are a person, not an untouchable "god".

Mom reminded you of that more times than you could count.

She raised you, ACTUALLY raised you. She gives a damn about you all the time.

Maybe that's why this silly little stuffed bunny holds this much emotional weight. The tears finally caught up to you.

Christ, man.

She nurtured your curiosity and identity, She let you shave half your head in high school and ironically you were the only one who regretted the decision. You thought she just didn't care that day. She's always too insistent and absent-minded when it's time to be busy with stuff like packing and moving.

It did hurt a little. But she cared to correct herself. When it's so normal for an asian family to kick out their queer children. Because that was their one burning "imperfection".

But she actually loves you. Your parents DO care, even in the midst of their ridiculous doting and eggshell walking. Don't they?

"Kamal, I hope you know I love you no matter what. I raised you to know exactly what you want, when it really counts. I'll back off when you need me to, okay? You know how I've been. I never want to be the one to make you feel like garbage. That would mean I've failed you.

So...case in point. You do you, little rabbit."

Heh heh.~

Jayasri Nadella-Bora. She brought you into this world to be happy, ultimately. Right?

This is the same woman who conditioned you with her progressive influence in the first place, as a cisgender woman. She cares too much, and lets her concern consume her at times. Even now, she's still learning.

She fights for your cause everyday, not only as a mom. As a civil rights activist.

[And dad, well, he's okay too. Most times. Not that he isn't a good guy, but he's a real weenie.

He always lets mom do the talking. Meeting your mother was the smartest thing he's ever done. He married mom, so he has to have an actual soul within his body.

He's really ignorant, but you know Mom and Dad love each other more than the earth itself. And....you were a "happy surprise".]

So...can it be more obvious?)

Maybe you're forgetful, too. You aren't invincible or perfect. You are a dentist. You broke down crying in front of your boss.

What's even happening today? Is this humbling?

Or are you humble as is?

Ha: Really, though. Bring anything you need to work as long as it doesn't get in the way, of course. I'm letting you do that, okay?

The overwhelmed blush on Kamal wore down into a soft, calm glow.

K: Uh...heh! Okay..well.

Thank you, doc. You better not regret it, cuz, um...

Ha: Anything if it'll help you feel more productive, right?~ Eheh.

So he wasn't imagining things. Dr. Habit really smiled at him. He was smiling right now!

(This guy had to be as big a sap as him, right? Like...)

K: Sure, ha. Okay. Thanks.

Geez...how was emotionally connecting with this guy so fast?

....

Ha: Would you mind telling me about your lanyard? That has littol bnuuy rabbits on it too. Do you like bnuuys a lot?

K: Uh...you mean...'bun-knees'? Pff...Y-Yes, I do?

Ha: Hah, yes. Bnuuys.

K: Bunnies?

Ha: Bew-nais.

K: Bunnies.

Ha: Boonui? :-D

K:...Now you're just doing this on purpose, doc.

Ha: Maybe so! But it is fun, no?

K: Psh, okay. Well I mostly picked it because I liked the design but I ALSO happen to like bunnies a whole lot. They're two different things, heh.

Ha: But...doesn't that sort of mean same thing?

K: Not necessarily! >:P

Why does yours have those yellow flowers all over it, eh? Did you just pick it out cuz it's nice-looking?

...

But suddenly, Habit went quiet.

Did...Kamal bring up something iffy?

K: I...I wasn't teasing you about it, sorry. I-It's a pretty lanyard! I'm just confused. Did....people laugh at you for liking flowers? I mean 'cuz....some did laugh at me before for bringing Hippity once. And that was middle school.

Habit's gentle tone was now sorrowful as well.

Ha: Indirectly....you could say so.

K: Oh? Well. Y'know. It's like you said, boss. Anyone who makes fun of you for being a nerd is just a freeloader or something, right?

Ha:...Maybe so...

...

Okaaay, maybe it was time to change the subject.

K: Hey, Dr. Habit? Did we....happen to go to the same med school?

Ha: In the exact same area? Well, I went to Geewhiz.

K: No joke?! I went there too!

Ha: Goodness, really?

K: I could've sworn I'd seen you somewhere! Ack...Do you remember me bumping into you at all?

Ha: Eh...I bump into a lot of people shorter than me, so. Though I also thought your voice sounded familiar.

K: Well I ask because...on my last year... coincidentally February 14th, ahem; I slid a note into someone's locker. Asking to be their friend. And they looked an awful lot like you! But I can't be too sure. (sigh) I mean...I never even knew their name.

The realization hit Habit like a truck.

Ha:...K-Kamal Bora?! That was...YOU?! You're HIM???

K: Y-Yeah! It was, man! Oh my god, this is nuts, dude! Does that mean...did you draw that picture of a yellow rose and put in my locker?!

Habit's hands were clasped together. Kamal saw clear as day he was brilliantly flushed in the face. How come? Did it really mean that much to him? He was so smiley!

Ha: W-Well I...didn't know how else to respond to that kind note from someone I didn't even know...so I asked around and, erm. Well...I like drawing. And I saw you drew little rabbits on your note, too.

K: P-Pff, really? I did?

Ha: Hm-hm, yes. That's how I knew it was you.

K: Wowzers! Ehehe...

Ha: Hee...My english writing is no good, so...I poured my thoughts into a little rose drawing. And put it in your locker. I-I didn't know what else to say, eheh...umm.

...Did you like it?

K: Like it? Duuude! I've never seen such a realistically drawn rose! I loved it! I like the pink shading to the yellow you added to it, too!

I still have it on my billboard at home!

Ha: W-wow. I'm...so...ticklish pink, honestly! I..awhaha!

K: Huh? Say again?

Habit had a big sappy smile on, still closed up. As his rosiness in his cheeks tinged that grin, he started twirling his auburn curls a little.

Ha: I'm just....really habby you liked it. I was too chicken to even write my name on it....I, aha. Just wanted to give the drawing to you.

K: Oh, but how come?

Ha: I wasn't really ready to give you my name yet...I've only recently had it changed. And some sources still have me recorded as whoever the other Habit was in the question....

K: Ah...I hear ya. Well...what is your name, doc?

Ha: During business hours, I'm just "Dr. Habit". But to you, Mr. Kamal...I'm Boris. Alright? : - >

K: Mm-hm! Then well...Boris?

Ha: Ya?

"Could I be your friend then?"

"Yes. I'd love to."

Kamal had definitely wowed Boris that morning.

In a chance meeting he never even thought possible.

This would be the start of something exceedingly precious to both in the coming years.

#aroace writer #autistic writer #habismal #kooky's fic #smile for me game #kamal bora #boris habit #dr habit #s4m #smile for me oc #jayasri & kairava #jayasri nadella bora #thank you for all the support on my first s4m fics. I'm gonna post here now too since this is my most recognized fic on ao3. Tysm <3 #they're gay and in love #and trans

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eldritchsun · 5 months

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I found my Realm Of the Elderlings opinions in my diary and I still stand by them almost 5 years later

first entry and it's already terminal :

aug 30 2018

OHHHHH my god fitzchivalry YOU ARE THE REAL FOOL

i am so fucking done with this ABSOLUTE dumbass i can’t deal. the farseer books got me fucked up. he is SO stupid sometimes!! [ranting in french] fitz you are so self absorbed!!!! you really are just furious because u love the bastard. i swear to god fitzchivalry, just square the fuck up i’m teleporting to les six duchets just to shake you a lil

sep 26 2018

My ass is losing it reading The Liveship Traders!!!

Altheaaaaaa!! Mrs Hobb I BEG you!! We’ve suffered enough with One Dumbass Teenager! Fitzchilvary growing up is enough Pure Dumbassery-driven decision making for the next ten years of my life, and that’s from someone who’s still running on dumbassery themselves!!

The worst of it is... rn I’m like Althea... hoe plz... stop... but I can feel it. This is how Fitz got me... is this a stupid teenager with Big Problems who’s gonna grow through and despite them? What is this within my heart?

And Robin Hobb bursts through my door, my beating heart in her hands, slams it on the table and bellows “ITS THE SEEDS OF LOVE”

oct 19 2018

Kennit “[wintro's french name] is beautiful” Pirate King

Hobbs recurring gay themes r so ??? To me but at the same time bring me so much joy lol

Canon nonbinary Annoyance Fool “in love with Fitzchilvary” Prophet

Althea “drag king” Vestrit and lesbian/bi girl solidarity friendship with amber.

Malta “Homophobic Queen” Havre.

And now, absolute legend kennit “surcoure do you love me” pirate king. I know one gay couple is actually endgame over the course of Hobbs books [ndlr i don't remember wtf i was talking about] and I’m thinking it might be this one. I mean, it’s not great hashtag representation but it’s great story telling!

Sweet monk Wintrow with dumbass pirate kennit? Who’s completely and irrevocably in love and admiration for him?

This idiot of a kennit is literally constantly like [french ranting about kennit etta hate and wintrow love]

Lol kennit mate come out

however the next entry doesn't make much sense but features the sentences "kennit thinks he’s so smart!! Fuck you, half a pirate!!!" (the title of the entry (oct 26 2018) is "kennit bitchass of the century" so clearly he fell out of favour)

nov 26 2018

Literally in ROTE if I was there for one of Ambers prophecies I would legit be like... ok sis... wig?

nov 30 2018

Checked the notes on that women writers rec list and several other people already wrote “this is Robin Hobb erasure” in those exact words :’)

So in honour of this hivemind I must say : I am having the time of my life with the Liveship Traders, excites rant with (huge) spoilers ahead :

I am at that point where Kennit is about to get absolutely WRECKED and I swear to god it feels so satisfying. The character arc and development for every single character in these books is pure mastery. In the case of Kennit you really go from “what a despicable man he really just has luck on his side” to “well I guess even if he did good accidentally he still did good... I almost love this Awful Imbecile” and finish straight into “OH!! NEVERMIND he really was a despicable man the whole time!!!”, a pit of disgust right on time where the whole story is setting up to absolutely destroy him. Kennit is a great example of how “does the right thing for the wrong reasons” is not equivalent in terms of ethics as “does the right thing for the right reasons”. But to quote a great thinker “they really had us in that first half I’m not gonna lie!”

What I really like in these books is that the centristTM opinions of certain main characters are not automatically & heavily presented as the right ones. I am still cackling at Hiémain’s “but they didn’t deserve to die!!” bullshit not being put on a pedestal. Ms Hobb did that! Her mind! Also the Vestrit family not being given an (entirely, let’s be real) free pass for not standing up to Kyle and letting Vivacia happen. The main characters, the actual heroes try to pass off responsibility for bad things and in most media it’s like “but they didn’t directly kill someone with their own hands so aren’t they kinda innocent?”

and then it skips to a single entry line (dec 3 2018) "reyn khuprus is a massive idiot" :')

dec 12 2018

Fitz I missed u so much

I have not seen this boy for 9 books and this hoe is worried abt being ugly, please never change boo

dec 14 2018

Fitz and the fool interacting is genuinely maddening I’m just walking along like KISS! KISS! KISS!

Fitz you are an immense idiot and the smartest one of the bunch is the goddamn wolf.

Jan 8 2019

Ohhhh my goodness gracious

I have gone full baby on Dutiful, he is the sweetest most cute drama teen since Fitzchivalry himself. I love him with the force of an exploding sun. His interactions with every other character are both precious and absolutely hilarious. He’s got a great mini-me vibe going on with Fitz, wrapped in Hobbs usual delicious irony.

Also poor Dutiful so lonely and starving for warmth, human attention!! The bit where Fitz is like all them hoes been begging me for this for MONTHS but I just can’t say no to those baby blues. I was like congrats Dutiful you just got a dad! Free dad with your meal!

And the Fool interaction like Dutiful you lucky boy you! You went from zero dads to TWO! It’s buy one get one free.

This dad was kinda mean so I had to get another one to counter balance it.

Jan 15 2019

Fitzchilvary « Homophobia » Farseer

Fitz!!!!!!!! Fitz!!!!!!!! Robin Hobb I swear to god you better gay these boys up or i will see you in court

the latest entry is apparently post "the golden fool"

Jan 29 2019

BELOVED WENT HAND TO MOUUUUUUTH!!!!!!

I am absolutely losing it! hand to mouth hand to mouth !!! Fitz called him BELOVED!!!!!! YAS MF QUEEN! Icon! legend!

and if i remember rightly (which i don't, it was five years ago, i don't remember anything) i got real upset at queerbaiting and stopped reading. i like googled "are they actually gay" the answer came back hashtag no and i stopped reading out of disgust :/

#rote #fitzchivalry farseer #well i still love these books intently but i did get really cross at the time

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lexysstorm · 6 months

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Live thoughts while reading Thunder:

- why did frostpaw just use the word hours?

- please gay frostwhistle please

- goosegrass? I think thats a new one.

- AAAAAA i just want to read frostpaw pov shes the only one im interested in but ill give the others a shot

- LILYHEARTTTT queen

- if squif doesnt become leader i will be very unhappy

- OMG IVYPOOL DEPUTY????

- ok but why is night going with them i dont see a point

- i really really really hate the decision to pair sun with night it doesnt feel earned. Just let sun be in shadow its so much more interesting there

- ok sunbeam show me whatcha got

- stop being stinky lionblaze

- BAHAHHA BERRYHEART????

- ok she kinda right tho- does look kinda desperate sun im sorry girl you dont need no man

- ok i like spark and finch WOOO

- really love how berryheart trespassed just to whine at sun for leaving

- FROSTPAWWWW

- i dont remember smoky being this nice but ok

- FROSTPAW KIDNAPPED BY PEOPLE???

- FINALLY someone brings tree up in all this

- thats a HILARIOUS trial idea actually

- THE KIT SWEARING LMAOO

- finchsun please

- i think its kinda dumb that riverstar is here ngl- then again i didn't read his super edition

- OH MY GOD SHE GOT SPAYED?? IM

- theres goes my frostwhistle😭😭😭

- another traveling book im

- LMAOOOO NIGHTHEART IS SUCH A BAD CAT???? Hes going for fame😭😭😭😭BROOO

- oh my GODDDDD sunbeam girlie PLEASEEEEEE LEAVE HIS ASS AFTER THIS IM BEGGING

- OH MY GOD SQUIRRELSTAR????? HOLY FUCK

- STOP BEING A BITCH LIGHTLEAP

- i am actually very interested to see what tree comes up with for a solution

- what if frostpaw brings a cat back from the forest territories to be riverclans leader wouldnt that be STUPID

- OTTER MOMENT

- usual nightheart L

- ok i have a pool and a cat that goes outside and the pool cover does NOT bend under her weight💀💀💀theyre made to support a humans weight just in case (i think, dont try that)

- yeah frost is kind of carrying you night step up ur game

- dovewing ur right to be defensive queen- kind of shitty of ivy to be kind of trying to use her like that even if i do like ivy,,,

- omg "im not letting you manipulate me into manipulating him!" PERIOD QUEEN

- berryhearttttttt whatre you planninggggg

- cherry fall is right just give it a lil shove- im sure they could aim the rock to not hit a den

- i bet the black cat that refused to eat with the park cats will be rcs next leader but that's a crack theory

- meditating cats

- ok well. Why cant she just. Learn everything she needs to abt meditation real quick then go back to rc

- WERENT YOU SHADOWCLAN LAST WEEK HAHAHAHAH FROSTPAW

- YOURE NOT GOING TO SHOW US HOW SHE REALIZED??????????? HELLO?????

- oh nevermind okay

- "ive always known" SUREEEE unless im forgetting something from previous books, you didnt suspect a THING frost

- ok so her name is rook, ill remember that

- wait. Waffle. Waffle that won the contest? WAFFLEPAW????

- Worse than you imagined??? what does THAT mean

- READY AS ILL EVER BE

- cherrfall sus

- Cherryfall?????

- OH MY GOD QUEEN SHIT SUNBEAM HOLY SHIT

- sunbeam u really need to tell someone what youve seen and heard istg

- wow the big reveal nobody saw coming. HEY i DO like the idea though! Frost getting manipulated by her mother and a cat she loved is pretty fun to read, more interesting than nightheart. Even sunbeams pov has been pretty fun. Honestly if night didnt have a pov/wasnt a main character i would love this arc a lot more! And if sun didnt switch clans smh MAKE HER GAY HUNTERS

- ok well. Frostpaw. Dont. Do it. In rc camp??? Do it at a gathering- so EVERYONE knows

- oh my god is she actually gonna do that?? Lets go????

- oh my GOD NO WAY ARE THEY GOING TO VOTE HIM OUT??? TIGERSTAR II IMPEACHMENT????????

- wait dont the medcats have to be w the impeachment squad or am i misremembering

- ok good someone brought it up, but there should be a rule that if the medcat is closely related to leader they should be excused bc of conflict of interest right?

- YESSSS PUDDLESHINE

- uhuh SUREEEEE podlight

- NONONONONONONONONONONONONO

- THATS IT?????? BRUHHHH

#asc thunder #warrior cats #asc thunder spoilers #thunder spoilers #wc spoilers

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dont-leafmealone · 5 months

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Tysm for the tag @juniperhillpatient!

10 Characters 10 Fandoms (roughly) 10 Tags

Jet (Avatar: The Last Airbender) - y'all already knew he was gonna be on here, I am unable to resist the allure of a tragic anti-hero. He's a single mom. He's a war criminal. He's always chewing a stupid piece of wheat and Y'know what? He makes it work.

Lucy Gray Baird (The Hunger Games/Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes) - my bestie my girlie <3 I love a gal who's the main character in a murder ballad and knows it. Broke President Snow's heart. Fashion icon. The Appalachian rep we all deserve <3

Anathema Device (Good Omens) - I love witch characters and Anathema is possibly the coolest one. Environmentalist queen. Unfortunately tied to the most Boring dude in the history of literature and television but what are you gonna do. Wears wool dresses! Rides a bike! Is nice to kids!

James Norrington (Pirates of the Carribbean) - I was obsessed with this character for a while. I named a Minecraft villager after him. I cried when the Minecraft villager died. All things considered I like Will and Elizabeth slightly more but they're two people so James is the tiebreaker <3

Aunt Zelda Heap (Septimus Heap) - This is a lady who eats cabbage and nothing else. Who has a cat who is a duck (or vice versa). She wears a giant quilted dress and lives in a swamp and brews magical potions and I want her life so bad.

Max Mayfield (Stranger Things) - MAX! my sweetie pie max <3 I love her so much. She's such a brat, she reminds me a lot of my little sister who I don't always get along with but love a whole lot. She's very cool, first person to introduce El to the concept of autonomy which we love her for, AND she gets to date Lucas (who's really Goals as a partner, if I could I would count him here too).

Blue Sargent (The Raven Cycle) - I don't know how to articulate how I feel about Blue exactly, like. her whole backstory is amazing (being raised in a house full of lady psychics while NOT being psychic herself but having Other abilities) and then she just gets looped into the weirdest plot possible and just hangs with it like a pro. Lot of respect <3 also every outfit she wears in the books seems like exactly something I'd wear.

Percy Jackson (Percy Jackson and the Olympians) - God, I love this kid so much. The narration of those books is peak, Rick Riordan put so much PERSONALITY into Percy and he's just. Such a cute kid. He loves his mom and wants nothing more than for her to be safe. He's quippy and very funny and he knows it. He's genuinely scary at times. Amazing character.

Ravi Singh (A Good Girl's Guide To Murder) - honestly such a good sport, if some girl turned up at my door and started grilling me about the murders my brother supposedly committed I would NOT handle it that well. He's a sweet and caring guy, a good boyfriend, funny, and also helps solve murders. Very cool 👍

Grace Chasity (Starkid's Hatchetverse) - A literal bible-thumping puriteen in a way that's genuinely so funny. Manslaughter? A-ok. Dismembering a body? Sure. Terrorizing summer camp with an axe? Why not! Carrying someone's books before marriage? Showering naked?? Smoking weed??? You're literal satan! She's so funny and I would genuinely hate her irl but as a character she's amazing (and Angela Giarratana KILLS her performance it's amazing).

i tag: @prodogg @peony-pearl @futuristicrenaisancebeliever @feruchemical @clearancecreedwatersurvival @haboat @juhanis-litterbox @im-smart-i-swear @takingback-thepenguin

And anyone else who wants to participate! (And if I tagged you don't feel pressured I just tagged everyone I could remember -)

#tag game #blorbo ramblings #long post

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thetypedwriter · 1 year

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Hell Bent Book Review

Hell Bent Book Review by Leigh Bardugo

I just didn’t like this book. I really wanted to. I love Leigh Bardugo and her Six of Crows duology are some of my favorite books of all time. However, her adult novels just don’t do it for me.

One, I barely remember anything from the first book. Now, this one is on me. I could have reviewed more or even re-read the first book. I liked Ninth House enough to buy Hell Bent, but I do feel like Bardugo could have also done a better job of reintroducing the last book’s important events.

Any time previous events were brought up, it genuinely didn’t ring a bell for me and it lessened the impact of Hell Bent overall as a direct sequel.

Additionally, Hell Bent has so much terminology that isn’t necessary in any way, shape, or form. I remember this being a criticism of Ninth House as well, but it is twice as bad in the sequel.

Bardguo spent more time in the first installment describing and reminding readers of the societies and all the titles, but she tosses that to the wind in this book.

If she thinks readers will remember what Praetor or Virgil or Dante are, she is absolutely wrong. Or, I’m just stupid compared to the average reader (which I don’t think I am), but the terms made things overtly verbose and pretentious without offering any kind of substance or value.

The actual plot of the novel I found tedious. It can be summed up by: Alex and her hodgepodge group of friends make several trips into hell in order to save Darlington (Alex’s mentor from the first book), who is trapped there. That’s it. It should be exciting, but it’s…not.

The trips into hell are nonsensical and long, Alex is whiny, and none of the characters had any reason or solid motivation to help Alex. Some of them don’t even know Darlington. Alex herself shouldn’t have wanted to risk life and limb to rescue Darlington.

They were friends, but that was it. Alex had known him for a short amount of time and their relationship wasn’t strong enough for me to believe that Alex would risk her life and the lives of others multiple times in order to save him.

None of it came across as realistic and I found all of it unbelievable to a high degree.

This disillusionment was the nail in the coffin for this novel. None of the characters behaved in believable ways and I didn’t find any of the relationships dynamic, interesting, relatable, or moving.

Alex as a protagonist gets increasingly irritating as the novel progresses and her staying involved with Lethe and the societies confused me further and further considering how risky, time-consuming, and damning it is (literally).

Unfortunately, there isn’t anything about this book that I really liked. The writing is fine, some of Barudugo’s more imaginative chapters I appreciated, but as a story I found the entire thing lackluster and a monotonous use of my time.

I did finish it (with much skimming involved) because I had already bought it and I do feel some kind of allegiance to Leigh Bardguo (although that indebtedness is gone after this drivel).

I will say that I recognize that perhaps Hell Bent came at a bad time in my life where there’s a lot of other things happening. Maybe I would have liked it a year ago or around the holidays or during summer. But, in the time I read it, it did not scratch my reading itch and instead makes me want to swear off Bardugo’s adult novels forever.

Recommendation: Ninth House should have been a standalone novel.

Score: 3/10

#ninth house #hell bent #leigh Bardugo #3/10 #book blog #book review #favorite books #top books #Book Recommendations #book rec #book recs #popular fiction #Popular Books

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justanotherniky · 2 months

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30 Day HypMic Challenge!

Double post today! Because I wasn't gonna be left behind~

DAY 7: CHARACTER YOU RELATE TO THE MOST/FAVOURITE CHARACTER EVER

🎭 NURUDE SASARA

There's two clauses to this day and Sasara kind of fits both, but mostly he goes here because he's my absolute favourite character in HypMic alongside Ramuda. But I do relate to this bad boi a bit, because if you couldn't tell, clowns who clown together stick together. :)

It took me forever to actually pick a favourite character in HypMic, because there's so many, and because I'm just kind of like that. Takes me a while to commit. :kekw:

And even when I did pick, I couldn't fully settle on one, because as I said, Sasara does share the spot with Ramuda. But I guess they're my favourites for some of the same reasons, but some different ones.

I remember liking Sasara as soon as I met him while listening to the drama tracks. I knew all of the characters already, but when I got to the DotsuHon track, I had never seen Sasara in action yet, I'd just read something off of the wiki and seen pictures of him. I had no strong opinions.

But oh boy was I about to have them.

I just loved him. I didn't expect him to be so smart and clever right off the bat. I was absolutely not expecting to perceive his depth so quickly, even through his usual funny and lighthearted persona. He immediately spoke to me, and I knew I was dealing with one that was going to become one of my favourite characters ever, not just in HypMic. My ult bias, if you will. *wink* (Sasara sits at the same table as Han Jisung in my brain. They should both feel honoured.)

Not to mention that he's, just, hot. Like, LOOK AT THE MAN. I know the orange matched with the green hair is a bit controversial but STILL the idea of a very polished looking outfit but in funky colours and with a silly pattern just feels perfectly in tune with his personality. It fits him! And that also means I get to salivate over him when they choose to remove his jacket in ARB cards. (Looking at you latest event - I was a mess for days.)

Obviously, knowing me, number 1 gay person and BL fan, my favourite character couldn't not be a gay little shit as well. That is something we have in common a stupid amount: both Sasara and I are gay disasters. We would have so much fun simping over men together while drinking tea. Also it is so hilarious that Sasara has such a fixed type in men I swear to god, the Rosho/MCD Samatoki parallels have me cackling every time. This man really replaced his ex he couldn't get over with basically the same guy but in white cum patate. Iconic move. For the history books.

Also, is anyone surprised that my favourite character is once again an ENTP fuckboy? No, I know. No one is. But birds of a feather come together, I guess, because I also am an ENTP fuckboy. :) I wasn't always - I guess this little bastard influenced me, together with some other assholes like Vanitas or Dazai or who knows who else. There's always one.

Should I cut the Sasara ramble short? Maybe. Maybe I should. Thanks to those who stuck around. Stan DotsuHon, stan Sasara. Ship SasaRosho. Peace out xoxo

#hypnosis mic #hypmic #nurude sasara #sasara nurude #dotsuitare honpo #30 day challenge #30 days challenge #30 day hypnosis mic challenge

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seriouslysam8 · 1 year

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Petrichor Easter Egg #6

Okay, I’m really sad that I did not finish Bête Noire in time to post for Sirius’ birthday today, since the short story starts on Sirius’ 16th birthday, shows the dreaded Whomping Willow incident, and then Sirius running away from home over Christmas holiday.

Here's the working summary for context:

The only thing Sirius Black received from his family on his sixteenth birthday was a warning that his disobedience would no longer be tolerated. That’s when everything started to spiral out of control.

Below is a snippet from that story with James giving Sirius a birthday gift. This has not been edited so there may be mistakes. None the less, enjoy!

Happy birthday to my cute little artichoke that I love more than any other fictional character. I'm so excited to not kill you in Brumous.

“Oi, there you are,” a familiar voice called behind him.

Sirius shoved the letter into his pocket as quickly as possible before his fingers carded through his hair. Turning to his right, James appeared at his side in his Macintosh coat and Gryffindor striped scarf. He didn’t look cold, and Sirius had no doubt that he was smart enough to cast a warming charm.

“Hey,” Sirius greeted.

“Happy birthday,” James greeted as he gestured his hand. “Budge over.”

The rock wasn’t that big so Sirius had no idea how he was supposed to even share it with his mate. Without a word, he scooted over until half of his bum hung off the edge. It was uncomfortable and plain stupid, but James didn’t seem bothered as he sat close to him. Pulling a black box out of his coat pocket, neatly wrapped in a gold ribbon, James held it out to Sirius.

Taking the gift, Sirius unwrapped it carefully. When he opened the box, Sirius let out a bark-like laugh as he saw five crossword books and a set of quills.

“I know how restless you get when I’m at Quidditch practice and Remus is off doing prefect things,” James commented. “I also know there is only so long you can put up with Peter before you’re chewing his head off.”

Sirius snorted. “He asks the stupidest questions.”

James elbowed him in the side. “Try to be a bit more patient with him, yeah? He’s a good bloke. I mean, he figured out Mrs. Norris’ weakness with that pointer spell. Merlin, that’s been dead useful because I swear that blasted cat can see through Invisibility Cloaks.”

Sirius shrugged as he pulled out one of the books and flipped through it. “I am patient with him.”

Sirius knew that was a bold-faced lie, but he figured it was best to at least deny that Peter frustrated him more often than not. James and Remus were far more patient and tolerant than he was.

James laughed. “You can’t lie to me, Padfoot. You’ve always been snippy towards him for as long as I can remember.”

Sighing, Sirius tossed the book back into the box and closed it. It was clearly a lack of patience on Sirius’ part. He knew that. Peter could be quite dense, asking a billion questions, always so fucking eager. They were all personality traits that Sirius couldn’t fucking stand while James and Remus found them endearing for reasons Sirius just didn’t comprehend.

“He doesn’t think half the time,” Sirius explained. “I mean, if he just took an extra minute or two and actually thought before he spoke, he’d annoy me a lot less.”

James chuckled, clapping Sirius on the back. “Ahh, there’s the Sirius Black I know and love: critical and grumpy.”

Sirius didn’t say anything, instead he looked out on the calm dark water. His mind flickered back to the damn letter from his mother in his pocket once more. He couldn’t help but overanalyze the words. Make the necessary corrections. What the bloody hell did that even mean? Hadn’t she attempted to correct his behavior in the past and failed? She had certainly hexed and cursed him, locked him up and starved him, berated and shouted at him. There wasn’t much more she could do, surely, besides fucking torture him. Even he didn’t think it would go as far as that.

“You all right, mate?” James pressed.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Sirius replied, his voice monotone and automatic.

“What? Did Kreacher send you maggots again?” James asked, his voice far too casual as he prodded.

Sirius snorted, remembering his last birthday when Kreacher sent him a box full of maggots. He supposed his parents probably instructed him to send him a gift, something nasty and impractical with no thought behind it.

“Nah, no maggots. Just a letter,” Sirius replied, hoping to squash James’ curiosity, as he rose from the rock and shoved his hands into his cloak pockets. His fingers brushed against the letter.

James didn’t relent though. “What did the letter say?”

Sirius looked up at the sky, noting the red hue. The last thing he felt like talking about was his mother’s foreboding letter and his paranoia to go home for the holidays. He had a good month and a half to stew over what would happen to him once he stepped foot into Grimmauld Place. Maybe that’s what she wanted, to make him a nervous mess. He was absolutely sick of the chokehold she had on him. There was nothing he wanted more than to be free of her and her abusive clenches.

“The same as always,” Sirius replied, his voice flat and leaving no room for discussion.

James nodded, a sigh escaping his lips as he looked up at Sirius. “Want to grab breakfast and then skive off Divination?”

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semper-legens · 6 months

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135. Tempted, by PC and Kristin Cast

Owned: No, library Page count: 319 My summary: Zoey Redbird's life is going from bad to worse. Soul-bonded to the evil Kalona, Warrior-bonded to Stark, and Imprinted to Heath, her love life has imploded in her face. And her best friend is keeping secrets from her. One of the Raven Mockers is alive, and in her base. But Zoey needs to stop Kalona from taking his place as 'Erebus' alongside Neferet as 'Nyx Incarnate'. And she has no idea how... My rating: 0/5 My commentary:

Ah, House of Night. I'm still determined to not let this series break me, but it's trying very, very hard to make that happen. Each book just sinks a little bit lower into the pits of despair in which hope goes to die. Hope for good storytelling and characterisation, that is. This book continues to not really be about vampires - well, Stevie Rae has more vampire traits, but apart from Zoe drinking a bit of Heath's blood every so often you could be excused for not remembering that this is, in fact, a vampire thing. It's pretty terrible, and I am going to waffle about it under the cut.

First of all, for about the first half of this book, nothing happens. Characters bitch at each other. Zoe isn't dead. Boyfriend drama. Nothing of consequence, really, no tension. I know I've said this about the last book, and probably literally every book before, but it bears repeating. Cast has no idea what pacing is. The first half to two thirds of every House of Night book are the characters meandering around not really doing anything, until you hit the climax and suddenly it's all go. There's not a lot of narrative tension, and not really much that's gripping. And things go round in circles a lot. Yes, Stevie Rae, you feel bad for keeping secrets. Yes, Zoe, you're the centre of the universe. Oh, and this is a small thing, but for the first time we're out of Zoe's strict first-person narrative voice. We've got a series of third person limited sections from other characters, like Heath and Stark and Stevie Rae and such. Not bad in and of itself, but the chapter breaks will insist on naming the characters before their section, when it's perfectly clear in the prose who's talking. Not a major thing, it just irked me, especially as Cast actually did an adequate job distinguishing character voices. I mean, they're all annoying-ass teenagers, but that's in character for this lot.

Zoe continues to flirt with the Worst Romantic Fiction Trope Of All Time. Say it with me, kids - "I can save him!" Sure, Kalona's a rapist and murderer who has invaded Zoe's home to fight and slaughter her people. Sure, he's allied with the woman who wants to lead all the vamps into a giant war against everyone. Sure, he's definitely playing Zoe by only speaking in very selective truths about his past and who he is. But there's a heart of gold underneath! I can change him, I swear! Ugh. Yes, despite being a monster, Kalona is worth saving because Zoe wants to bang him - was predestined to want to bang him, even. In the hands of a more skilful author, this could have been an exploration of soulmate tropes, and what happens when your soulmate is terrible. But no. Forbidden love. Because it's soooooo hot.

And then there's the stupid birdman. Stevie Rae rescues a Raven Mocker who turns out to be Kalona's favourite son. His name is Rephaim. Now, if you're like me, you will look at that name and frown. It looks far more like the name of a Biblical angel than anything relating to the Cherokee people. And you would be half right! The Rephaim are from the Bible, and are either ghosts of the dead or a race of giants, depending on where you're reading. Nothing to do with the, I cannot stress this enough, real stories of Raven Mockers in real Cherokee belief. I keep thinking Cast has found the absolute depths of disregard for Cherokee people, and yet she sinks even lower. In addition, there seems to be some sort of 'all myths are true' thing going on with Kalona - turns out he's not actually Cherokee originally, he was Nyx's warrior and got cast down for loving her too much, then wound up becoming a Big Evil Dude among the Cherokee. So, once again, this supposedly Cherokee figure isn't actually that Cherokee. This compounds with the revalation that Zoe is definitely the reincarnation of A-ya, the woman made by the Ghigau Women to trap Kalona. (Not only is she Special and Perfect to Nyx, she's also Significant to the Cherokee.) But again, Zoe's Cherokee heritage is mishandled. Zoe is consistently portrayed as being pretty pale, and doesn't seem to have any meaningful connection to Cherokee culture, largely because Cast seemingly didn't care to do the research. It's both lazy and disrespectful.

And finally, my constant complaint about this series. All of these characters are terrible. The Twins continue to have no personality outside shopping, and at one point refer to Aphrodite as 'Aphrodykey', which isn't called out as being homophobic despite Zoey's whole 'we love and support the gays' thing. Aphrodite still refuses to grow an interest that isn't being a rich bitch and liking sex. Jack is still Emotional and Gay. Damien's personality boils down to acting like vocab words a ten year old knows are obscure. Stark gets the new trait of Likes To Read, and Zoey's immediately acting like he's a huge nerd for it and that it's amazing that he reads, despite the fact that he only reads high school English class books and nothing individual. Zoey herself is back down to one boyfriend, breaking up with Erik, who immediately goes and gets with another girl out of spite, because you are either with or against Zoey. Stevie Rae gets feelings for Rephaim for no real reason despite how dangerous he is and almost dies because of it. I'm just not interested in the lives of any of these characters. They're all too callous or annoying or both for me to feel any investment. Hopefully things go back to being entertainingly bad soon.

Next, the other series I'm rereading - we're back to CHERUB.

#Tempted #PC Cast #Kristin Cast #book blog #book blogger #1

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