Talk

As a famous singer, you find yourself at the same terrible party as Hozier, but you two decide to do something about it.

Pairing: fem reader x Hozier

Warnings: smut, dirty talk, p in v (protected) sex, fingering, 18+ MINORS DNI

Word Count: 3.2k

A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who waited for this one...I'm so sorry it took so long. Please enjoy, and remember, my inbox is open for requests!

This party sucked.

Somehow, at one of the biggest album release parties of the year, you found yourself bored out of your mind, sipping on a weak gin and tonic. Leaning against a corner wall, the bass of the music from the DJ vibrated through you as you watched other people dance – your bandmates were somewhere amongst them, but for whatever reason, you just weren’t feeling it. Maybe you were just in a mood, maybe it was the music (one good song for every ten awful ones), but you sipped your drink, checking your phone every so often until it became a polite time to excuse yourself. You could already taste the revelry of getting back to your house before midnight – pajamas, Thai takeout, and scrolling aimlessly on your phone while Grey’s Anatomy reruns played in the background.

Suddenly, you saw a head bobbing around the others in the crowd – standing what seemed like almost a full foot above everyone else, his thick, curly hair pulled back in a half bun, he smiled and tilted his head to the music distractedly. Your breath hitched for a moment as you saw him – you had seen Hozier at countless red carpets and events in the past year it seemed, but he was also more handsome than the last time. He turned his head and your eyes locked, making you blush, and making him smile. He gently pressed a hand on someone’s back to alert that he was making his way behind him.

As if the giant could ever go unnoticed.

“Hi,” He said as he landed next to you, sipping from his drink. Something brown and in a rocks glass, one giant ice cube anchoring the liquid.

Of course.

“I feel like I needed to come over and speak to you – we seem to orbit each other at basically every red carpet this year.” He spoke, seemingly reading my mind. You smiled.

“That’s funny – I was just thinking that.”

Hozier nodded and his eyes scanned the crowd before landing back at you. It was like he was staring into your soul. Extending a hand, he smiled, “It’s nice to finally meet you. I’m –”

“I know who you are,” You admitted, somewhat bashfully as you shook his hand. “I’m a big fan. I’m–”

“I know who you are,” He echoed, a smirk playing on his lips mischievously, “I’m a big fan.”

You could feel your blush deepen as his smooth words washed over you. His accent was enough for you to want to drop your panties, and his smile was already sending your head upside down.

“Your ‘Best New Artist’ win was well deserved,” He continued. “Your album was one of my favorites this year. Selfishly, I hope you guys are working on another one.”

“Wow, thank you,” You breathed, your heart thumping in your chest, “That means a lot coming from one of like, the best lyricists of our generation.”

“Ah,” Hozier waved his hand, bashful, “Come now.”

You cocked an eyebrow and smiled, “You’re going to write something like ‘I'd be the voice that urged Orpheus when her body was found, I'd be the choiceless hope in grief, that drove him underground’ and not expect to be considered that?”

He simply shrugged and sipped his drink. He was blushing, embarrassed.

“This album was also very good,” He changed the subject, speaking of the current album release party. He cleared his throat, “Even though this party sucks.”

You laughed and gently grabbed his forearm in agreement, “Yes! What is that about?!”

“I think it’s the DJ,” He admitted, leaning into you, “The guys releasing this album are buddies of mine, but I’m starting to think if I need to end our friendship based on the DJ they picked for this party.”

“The music he’s playing is making me feel old,” You admitted, “I don’t know any of the songs, and I don’t seem to really like it, either. Is this what our parents feel like when we were listening to Good Charlotte and Britney Spears?”

“Not mine. My mom loves Good Charlotte.” His eyes twinkled.

You laughed. Your eyes fell on your bandmates dancing to the music, obviously drunk off of the expensive beer being served at the open bar. You were acutely aware of Hozier standing next to you, his heat seemingly radiating.

“Is it an inappropriate time to tell you that I think you look beautiful tonight?” He asked, his breath warm on your ear as he leaned down to whisper it. Shivers were sent down your back as he spoke. You turned your head and looked at him, trying to play it cool with the smile that played on your lips.

“Probably not, considering how I’ve been thinking about how handsome you look since I saw you from across the room tonight.” You retorted, titling your head. He smiled and nodded, his eyes scanning the crowd.

“I’m reminded of your beauty every time I see you at events,” Hozier said, his hand finding the small of your back, “And, admittedly, every time I scroll your Instagram feed.”

You laughed, “Hozier is my internet stalker, eh?”

“Can you blame me? That number you had on at the Grammy’s this year?” He made a face, whistling, “It took every ounce of strength not to follow your account as soon as you were done presenting on stage.”

“Do you want to get out of here?” You asked, almost interrupting him. He seemed taken aback, so you tried to backtrack, “I mean…in a bit. We could go somewhere where…the DJ doesn’t suck? After we finish our drinks.”

Hozier quickly chucked back the rest of his drink, putting the glass on the nearest table. “Let’s go.” He took your hand as you chugged the rest of yours as well, finding the spot next to his glass for yours.

He guided you through the party, his hand never leaving the small of your back. You felt heat rushing through you as you made your way to front door, and Hozier handed the valet his ticket. He turned to you.

“Did you drive here?”

You shook your head. “Car service.”

“Great. We can take my car then.”

As the valet pulled up in a sleek Audi, Hozier thanked him and handed him a large bill as a tip. He waited until you were situated in your seat before he slid into the driver’s side, closing his door and pulling into traffic. Some sort of blues-y jazz was coming through the speakers softly.

“So where are you kidnapping me to, Mr. Internet Stalker?” You teased, looking out the window at the lights of downtown L.A.

He smiled, “My hotel,” His voice was a low purr. You exchanged a glance as he leaned his head forward, in explanation, “The bar there is really nice. Live jazz band tonight. It’s mellow.”

You nodded and smiled. As your heart raced, you were trying to calm yourself down, fiddling with the clasp on the purse in your lap. Hozier’s arm was resting on the console in between you, and every so often, his hand inched closer to you. By the time he pulled into the swanky hotel parking lot, his large hand was resting gently on your thigh.

Your stomach was in excited knots.

After another valet exchange, Hozier took your hand and led you inside the hotel. It was grand and beautiful – a $500/night type place. To the right of the entrance was a beautiful restaurant, speakeasy in style. As promised, a four-piece band was set up in the corner of the bar, playing soft tunes and creating the atmosphere of an underground jazz club.

“Told you,” Hozier said, raising his eyebrows playfully, “And the drinks are great as well. Had one before the release party.”

“It’s really nice.” You awkwardly agreed. Hozier stopped for a moment, his face unreadable. He stood before you.

“I also have a minibar upstairs in my room, if you want something to drink.”

“Oh, that sounds much better.” The coil in your belly was itching to be sated, and you didn’t know how much you could play this cat-and-mouse game of will they/won’t they. For a moment, a darkness of lust flickered in his eyes, but he simply smiled and took your hand, leading you to the elevator. He scanned his room card and pressed the button to the top floor.

The air in the elevator was thick, heavy. You both stood facing the door, saying nothing. As the doors open and he led you to his suite, your heartbeat doubled in time. Flicking the lights on, he shut the door behind you, placing the lock in it’s place.

It took all of 30 seconds before your bodies crashed together, teeth clacking and moans erupting.

Hozier grabbed you and pushed your floor length dress up so they he was able to wrap your legs around his waist as he carried you to the bed. Your arms snaked around his neck, fingers finding their way into his hair. You pulled back slightly, your breath ragged already.

“So what the fuck do I call you?” You asked, breathlessly.

Confused, he looked at you, “What?”

“I need to know what I’m saying when I scream your name later…is it Hozier, or is it Andrew?”

He barked out a laugh and bit your lip, “Andrew. Andrew is fine.” He pressed his lips on yours again, dropping on top of you as he guided you to the bed. His large hands ran their way up and down your waist, palming at the skin on your body. He was moaning, grunting into the kiss, as your tongues danced together. You felt his hands leave your waist and slip your heels off, your toes already curling.

Andrew pulled away and slipped off the tweed suit jacket he was wearing. He looked down at you as he shook his head, a smile playing on his lips.

“So fucking beautiful,” He murmured, pressing hot kisses down your neck. “So fucking sexy. Every time I see you.”

You moaned and pressed your hips to him slightly, causing him to gasp lightly in surprise. He kissed down your neck, to your collarbone, gently slipping the thin straps of your dress off of your shoulders. Licking a stripe from your neck to just above your breasts, he smiled, looking at you.

“Fuck,” You breathed, looking down at him. You watched as he stood, slipping off his shoes and socks next to the bed. He unbuttoned his dress shirt and slipped that off, revealing his thin, hairy chest. He was lean, built lithly but strong. Biting your lip, you stifled a moan. He was on you once again, pulling you into a kiss, his hand cradling the back of your neck. His other hand made quick work of the zipper on the back of your dress, and he shimmed it down, before sliding it off of you completely.

Revealing the intricate…shapewear…you wore underneath.

For a moment, both of you stopped breathing, looking down at the ugly, functional corset that covered your body. Embarrassed, you pressed your lips together before looking back at Andrew. Suddenly, both of you were in hysterics.

“I really wish I was wearing some sexy lingerie right about now.” You said, throwing your head back and cackling. Andrew laughed and peppered kisses on your cheeks, shaking his head as he undid the shapewear and took that off as well.

“That was brilliant,” He said, wiping a tear away from laughing, “What a fuckin’ reveal.” As he took it off, you were completely nude, your skin softly pressed against his fingers. He groaned as he took you in, “That’s much better.” His voice was back to husky, low.

He kissed you once more before his fingers found their way to your clit, spreading your legs gently. He didn’t take his eyes off of you as his fingers felt your wetness. Quickly, he inserted two fingers, pushing his long digits all the way in. You moaned and furrowed your brow as he didn’t move for a moment, letting you adjust.

“You’re so wet for me already, darlin’.” He purred, his forehead on yours. You whimpered and nodded. He started to pump inside of you, his thumb rubbing circles on your clit. Immediately you started to squirm, which made me smile.

“Jesus Christ, Andrew.” You said, your eyes flickering to his fingers moving in and out of you. Heat rose in you as you watched him, the pleasure evident on his face as he licked his lips. When your eyes found his again, you found him looking at you, and not his handiwork.

“I love seeing you like this,” He said plainly, “You’re so beautiful when you squirm.”

He increased his speed, causing you to buck your hips. He nodded, his eyes twinkling, as he continued to pleasure you with his fingers. He leaned down to kiss you – a hot, open-mouthed kiss, with his tongue finding yours immediately. You moaned into it as he curved his fingers inside of you and took your bottom lip in his mouth, sucking gently. Pulling away, he dipped his head and moved his tongue to your hardened nipple, sucking on the bud as your body started to convulse under him.

The coil in your belly was tightening, and fast. Your hips started to buck faster, your wetness pooling out on to his fingers. You started to repeat his name like a prayer, and as you moved closer to the edge, your hand found its way into his hair again, tugging lightly.

“I’m close.” You whimpered.

“I know,” He smiled, moving his mouth to your ear, “Come for me. Be a good girl.”

You gasped slightly at his words as the coil snapped, bucking your hips one last time before your orgasm sent waves of pleasure through you. You moaned loudly, gripping the back of his head tightly as he bit down on your earlobe, never stopping his fingers inside of you.

“That’s it,” He groaned, his voice raspy, “That’s it, pretty girl. Give it all to me. Show me how pretty you are when you come for me.”

Your head swam and your heart raced, your eyes squeezed shut because you could focus. The pleasure that was spreading through you was warm, electric – it was one of the best orgasms you had ever had, and it was only with his fingers.

Jesus Fuckin’ Christ.

After a few moments, Andrew slipped his fingers out, causing you to open your eyes, your breath coming in heaving pants. He was smiling, obviously proud. Slowly, he licked his digits as he stood, moaning.

“Jesus, you taste delicious.” He said, looking at you. He undid the button and zipper on his pants, the obvious tent of his arousal very evident before he slipped them off. Down came his pants and boxer briefs, his large member springing free, wet with precum. He made his way over to a duffle bag thrown on a chair in the corner of the room and rifled through it, finally emerging with a condom in between his fingers. Opening it quickly, he slid it on himself, pumping himself a few times as he walked back to the bed, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Are you ready?” He asked, straddling himself in front of you, continue to stroke himself.

“Actually, if you’re not inside of me within the next few seconds I might lose my fucking mind.” You said, watching him. It was silly, but seeing him touch himself in front of you like that made him seem like a god. He smiled and crawled on top of you, slowly positioning himself at your entrance. As his tip teased your wet folds, you whimpered.

Finally, Andrew slid himself inside of you in a single thrust, his forehead finding yours again. Your moans filled the room, and as he started to pump inside of you, the familiar numb feeling of being filled spread throughout you.

“So good,” You said, closing your eyes and pressing your head to the pillow, “So, so good, Andrew.”

“That’s it,” He said, his breath hitching, “Wanna make you feel good. You make my cock feel so good.” He dipped his head in the crook of your neck as he started to slowly increase his pace, finding himself deeper inside of you. The sound of your wet skin slapping together filled the room, matched only by your breathy groans and his primal grunts.

“Fuck!” You shrieked, Andrew finding a particular spot that made your vision fuzzy. Andrew tilted his head up to look at you and he smiled.

“Yeah? Right there, darlin’?” He asked. You nodded, your brows knitted together. His hand found your chin, holding it roughly, “You like it when I fuck you right there?” You nodded again but he shook his head, “Lemme hear you say it, baby.” He gently commanded.

“Fuck. Yes, Andrew, right there!” You said, unable to take your eyes off of him. His eyes darkened as he continued to fuck you, his face flushing.

“My name sounds so good on your lips.” He groaned, continuing to pump in you. Sweat was beading on his forehead as he continued to hit your spot. His hand moved from your chin to your tits, and as he pinched your hardened nipples, you moaned. His thrusts became erratic, irregular.

“You’re close already, aren’t you?” You toyed with him, taking a moment to bite down on his bottom lip, “My pussy so good you’re gonna come for me?”

“Fuck,” He barked, furrowing his brows, “You’re so fucking tight…you’re so wet…I’m gonna come soon. I’m close,” His face flushed deeper as he stared into your eyes, making your heart thunder in your chest. Suddenly, he squeezed his eyes shut, his head thrown back, voice parted in a silent moan.

You felt his cock twitch inside of you, the condom filling with his orgasm. He jerked his hips, almost a spasm, as he moaned your name. His hands gripped the pillows on either side of you, his biceps flexing. You smiled as he finally opened his eyes, almost in submission as he rode out his orgasm. Your hands found their way to his back, gripping him and bringing him closer.

A few moments went by as he stayed inside of you, trying to catch up with his breathing. He placed gentle kisses on your cheek lazily, finally rolling out of you. Standing, he quickly made his way to the bathroom to toss the condom and clean himself up, but laid next to you again, scooping you up in his arms.

“You’re fucking incredible.” He murmured in your ear, his Irish accent coming out with his tired demeanor. You giggled and looked at him, brushing a sweaty lock of hair behind his ear.

“I’m really glad that party sucked so bad,” You said. He chuckled, his eyes still closed. Opening one, he looked down at you.

“Me too…” He paused for a moment, drawing you closer, “Though, even if that party was fun, I still would’ve made my way over to you.”

“Yeah?”

Andrew nodded and shifted so he was propping himself up on his elbow, “Yeah. I had been trying to muster up the courage for like…three awards shows to come over and say hi to you, now. Months worth of time.” He was somewhat bashful. You blushed.

“Well I’m glad you did.”

“Me too.” He reached out and started to brush his fingers through your hair, and you couldn’t help the fluttering in your chest.

That party sucked. But you were glad it did.

---

A/N: I'm actually kind of obsessed with their banter and relationship...should I make this multiple parts?! I was originally only planning on doing this as a oneshot but I kind love them (teehee).

As always, comments and reblogs mean a lot if you liked this one <3 Thanks for reading

The craving for enemies to lovers sh and Milo is SKYROCKETING

Babe, There's Something Lonesome About You, Something So Wholesome About You! By KhepiAri

Luffy loved music like any other average person; when working out, studying, on the subway or just lost in thoughts on his bed while munching away snacks.

He never dug deep into the meaning of lyrics or the metaphors or symbolism in them. If it vibed with his mood it vibed. Though both his elder brothers took music seriously, Ace would learn to play any music he loved on his guitar and Sabo would remember each and every word of songs he loved. When that was not enough his brothers would go to the deeper end of obsession like reading between lines, covering their own renditions and forcing Luffy to endure the songs being played on loop on homeset. It only stopped when their parents would pull the plugs out!

it’s been a big day for people looking to title their fanfics

Y’all already know I’m making a fic inspired by Hozier’s new song 🤭

mulder and scully gifset song request if anyone is interested:

willow - taylor swift (scully)

"The more that you say, the less I know Wherever you stray, I follow I'm begging for you to take my hand Wreck my plans, that's my man You know that my train could take you home Anywhere else is hollow I'm begging for you to take my hand Wreck my plans, that's my man"

OR

work song - hozier (mulder)

"When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth, no grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her'

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or if anyone wants to write some fan fiction based on either i'd like that too.

ANYONE!!??

Right, so if I write a Judith/Pash fic after I finish my roughs for Fandom Trumps Hate and my current Locked Tomb WIP, The title will be Eat Your Young. Thank you, Hozier. You've done a great service to fandom.

Had to bring this back for Eat Your Young.

The sound is from our fiction podcast, That Vampire Show! The characters talking are Warren Young (tv show creator) and Cameron Jones (actor who plays villain on said tv show) and they are, you guessed it, looking at fan fiction for their own tv show. You can find That Vampire Show here:

Harold Had A Shit Day: A Fox Tale (inspired by the song “In The Woods Somewhere” by Andrew Hozier Byrne)

a short story by Michele Kaplan (@RebelwheelsNYC )

[image description: The background is a photo of a misty forest with tall trees of lush green and browns. There is a path in the middle. and a silhouette of a fox. the fox silhouette is filled with a photo from space, with. blues and purples with white stars. It gives the fox this cosmic feel. The text on top reads “Harold had a shit day. a fox tale inspired by the song ‘in the woods somewhere’ by andrew hozier byrne. “ Lastly, in the lower right hand corner is the text @ rebel wheels nyc] “Ah, human. I did not expect to see you so soon in these woods. You have come because of the lore of this forest, Did you bring the crudités as requested? What? No one told you? Then why did you come? Why are you  here? Ah, I see. You are lost. That is a shame, as I could really go for some of those carrots sticks with the hummus, I do enjoy a good hummus and alas while this ancient forest holds many charms and delights, a good hummus is not one of them, but what can you do? What is the matter, human? Why so pale? Why, you're practically trembling.  Ah, I see. You have you never seen a talking fox before? That it's impossible? Oh, that is a good one. Humans humans humans, such silly little mortals. Your kind thinks they know so much about the world, when it is your kind that knows the least. Sit down, and I shall tell you a story. Soon my kindred will be here and they will guide you out of the forest. Alas. I'm afraid such things are not yet my forte, While I am studying the topic, I have never actually...  no, no I couldn't, it is best for us to wait. I do wish you had brought some crudités. I am rather famished. Oh no, don't worry, human. You are safe. Our kind stopped eating humans centuries ago. You'll be fine. Now, where were we? Ah yes, a story. Oh, for fox sake! Forgive me, for I have not introduced myself. I do apologize. A week ago I had a bit of an... accident. My leg as you can see is still healing. An unfortunate occurrence at the hands of your kind, but I suppose we can't hold that against you. And it has apparently made me rather... absent minded. My name is Sionnach Síoraí An Seachtú Réalt Díreach Ó Thuaidh Ón Tríú Cnoc is Fiche Áit a Rialaíonn Go Réidh An Bó Mór, Buaibheach Dhiaga na Réalt Thuaidh Cónaíonn. It translates to Eternal Fox Of The Seventh Star Directly North From the Twenty-Third Hill Where the Great Cow Goddess, The Divine Bovine of the Northern Fields Who Gently Rules Resides, but you can call me Harold. It was three days past the last waning moon of your October, when I was making my way through these woods, While directions may not exactly be my strength, I am quite adept at gathering berries and plants from the forest. They were needed for soon The Ancient Forest Collective would be celebrating The Great Feast where we praise and honor The Redwood Rebellion of Before Times.

Let me ask you a question, Have you ever had one of those days? A day where nothing catastrophic per se occurs, but a shit day nonetheless. A day where you probably would have been better off staying home, but alas such was not an option? The day did not start well. I woke up late, after a troubled nights sleep, completely forgot that I had to forage that morning for the upcoming feast, at a spot no less, that is five miles from my home, by foot. I spent 20 minutes frantically searching for my keys, just to find they were in my pocket, and to top it off, I tripped – twice while rushing to my foraging spot. There was no rock that I stumbled over. It was just one of those mornings.

So there I was, gathering rhubarb and mustard greens, my beloved loves mustard greens, when I heard this loud SNAP! And this pain... this sudden gnawing pain in my leg. I looked down and saw that I was caught in one your kind's hunting traps. For fox's sake! I said to myself. I mean, how it got there, I don't know. Yes, since stories about these woods have become popular, there has been a minor increase of your kind, but they bring crudités, not old traps from the before time. And so I called out an ancient cry for help. I sang 'Ó, a chairde iontacha an chomhchoiteann! Iad siúd a bhfuil baint agam le síoraí. tar go tapa le do thoil go bhfuil duine eile ag seacáis tar éis ceann de na seanghaistí seilge seo a fhágáil agus mo chos greamaithe! Cac, nimhneach seo. Beir leat mo mhála luibheanna le do thoil! Freisin Má tá aon mhaidí cairéad fágtha bheadh sé sin go deas freisin. A Dhia, is mian liom go raibh hummus againn. ” Which roughly translates to ‘Oh, great friends of the collective! Those with whom I am eternally connected. Please come quick! Another jackass has left one of these old hunting traps and my leg is stuck! Shit, this hurts. Please bring my bag of herbs! Also If there are any carrot sticks left over that would be nice too. God, I wish we had hummus.’ Anyway, while I awaited the arrival of the collective, all of a sudden, I heard this... rustling... this crisp crunching of the fallen leaves on the forest floor. Which of course, one hears all the time in these months, but what made it peculiar, what made it almost... echo in one's mind... as if the ancestors were telling me to focus on this sound, as if it was of some importance, as if it someone was running ... but with ... only two legs? Who... what could it be? Even The Great Bears Of The East, who will occasionally walk on their hind legs when imitating your kind. 'Look at me, I'm a human. La la la la lá.' Oh goddess, it gets me every time. I'm not doing it justice. Well, even they don't run like that. So you can imagine my surprise, when all of a sudden, I saw this human. I shrieked, so loud, it echoed throughout the forest. It's just... forgive me, but your kind is strange to look at. Your bodies appear as if they are balding from your fur, like you survived some horrific accident and lost it as a result. You are wearing clothes, so you can't tell, not really, but this person was not wearing much. It just seems wrong.

Anyway, sadly, this person – much like yourself - did not have any crudités. I mean what the fuck does a fox have to do to get a platter around here? With all the powers that we have, the fact that we can't use them to manifest a goddess damned plate of vegetables, with a decent bowl of hummus is a cruel joke. The Great Cow Goddess has a dark sense of humor, it is known. Blessed be.

I digress. Lack of crudités aside, I gazed into the eyes of this troubled soul. They were frenzied, fevered, and unwell to say the least. There was just something very... ominous about their energy. They weren't... bad per se... not at their root, but they weren't in a place to make good decisions either. Upon peering more deeply into their mind, it became clear that his state was ... oh, was far worse than it had initially appeared. He was hallucinating some awful things.

Funny story, one time I was hallucinating and I saw these adorable rainbow bunnies, with unicorn horns, doing the cha cha cha with chubby marshmallows while listening to The Dancing Bears. The Bears Of The East have this fantastic Grateful Dead cover band and one time they ... er well, I digress. The human's breath reeked  that of one who had carelessly nibbled on the Copelandia that grows towards the west. His pupils, like two black moons. It was then that I realized that this human was going to kill me... or well... attempt to anyway. I mean, can you believe that? But a mercy killing he was calling it. I mean for fox's sake. Oh, forgive me for laughing, but the layers, like a trifle of absurdity. I mean, for fox's sake, I'm eternal. The sheer and outright pomposity, to assume that their help was even needed in the first place. Humans. Meanwhile, said poor soul was hallucinating this fierce snarling beast that was supposedly behind me. With breath steaming and putrid, and with teeth large, bloody and with a veracious hunger ... for death. A beast that could kill you quickly, but did it slowly because they enjoyed watching you suffer. So dramatic! Oh, forgive me, I don't mean to laugh, but there was no such beast. Great Goddess, you humans can not handle your Copelandia. We take it, we go dancing in the moonlight, and have a good time, Your kind takes it and all hell breaks loose. Anyway, I went even deeper into his mind, and realized he wasn't even seeing me... well, he saw me, but not me as is.. not me as I actually was. Yes, I was somewhat injured, but he was hallucinating a far worse situation. What was simultaneously troubling and yet fascinating, was that what he was seeing, was a projection... a manifestation if you will, of various parts of his psyche. Parts of him that he loathed ... parts of him that he feared. Of his own perceived weakness (me, injured), of his own perceived sin & evil (the murderous beast). It was curious for in that moment, he was pitying me, while I pitied him. I suppose in my favor, when he lunged at ,me, he didn’t even come close. He thought he was close, but alas he struck the hallucination, not actually me. Mind you, that was not by chance. If you think I'm going to peer into someone's mind and not alter things in the name of my ... well, not my survival, but certainly my immediate well being, well then my name is not  Sionnach Síoraí An Seachtú Réalt Díreach Ó Thuaidh Ón Tríú Cnoc is Fiche Áit a Rialaíonn Go Réidh An Bó Mór, Buaibheach Dhiaga na Réalt Thuaidh Cónaíonn! And still with all these powers, I still can't manifest a single bowl of hummus... You know, I must say, you humans, have really lost your way... lost connection from your roots. There was a time when, me and you would not have been so different but well... that is another story, I suppose. Anyway, while I did manage to dodge this human's “merciful” wrath, I was still in the trap, which hurts more than one would think, Thankfully my kindred heard my call, and arrived once the human fled to chase after “the beast”, Ah, the poor soul. Meanwhile, not only did my lovely kindred free me from the trap, brought the herbs needed to in time heal me, but they brought me carrots sticks to snack on. Leftovers from the last gifted platter. It was very moving. I need a moment. Okay no, I’m fine. I’m fine, And speaking of which, they're supposed to be here by now. I don't know where they are and I do really need to get going... oh, but I can't very well just leave you here, can I.  I mean I can, but that would be a bit of a dick move on my part. I mean, I have been studying directions and cosmic transportation, so I could give it a go? Ooh, it feels precarious, but ... eh, why not.  At worst, you'll end up in a parallel universe, but you'll get home eventually. Hmm? Oh, nothing. I was saying how the universe loves you, as they love us all. Let's give it a shot, shall we? Carpe diem! Come now. Stand still. Now listen closely, I need you to click your feet three times and repeat after me: ‘Níl aon áit cosúil le baile. Níl aon áit cosúil le baile. Níl aon áit cosúil le baile.' Oh, Goddess I always wanted to do it. Sorry, sorry, I apologize. But thank you for repeating it after me That was fantastic. Sorry, that was from The Wizard Of Oz. You know, 'there's no place like home'. Alright, sorry. No, I'll be serious. Okay so, human, No, seriously this time. You have my word. You will hear a low humming that will vibrate through you, It will not harm you. Close your eyes and let it take you home... hopefully. Good luck!” And as the ancient humming began, as you travel back to where you came, the last words you hear  echoing in these ancient forests, “Ooh, I think I did it. Yay! I mean... do not return to these woods, human...  but if you do, next time at least bring a good hummus.” The End (Author’s Note: While I thoroughly appreciate Hozier’s musical and activist related existence, there’s always been this one song that I could never fully enjoy. Musically, ‘In The Woods Somewhere’ is lovely. I can also appreciate that the lyrics are, if what I read on the internet was accurate, was inspired by Dante’s Inferno. It’s just the fox. I get too emotionally attached to the fox. And so one night, while a bit under the weather, my brain started thinking about the song and thought “That fox had a really shitty day.” My brain proceeded to create a whole backstory, as my brain tends to do. And while at first, it seemed too silly to let it be more than just a random thought in my head, the week was a weird one, so I thought fuck it and made it into a short story. Because Hozier is from Ireland, I decided that when Harold speaks in another language, it should be Irish. But also because Ireland has this somewhat mystical connotations, I thought I’’d have a bit of fun with that, As an example, the ancient call of help to the collective, which when translated is really not mystical at all. But also this story is just written with my own sense of humor. That said, I am not the least bit fluent in Irish, so hopefully Google Translate has not done me wrong lol.

You can hear the song here and read the lyrics on this site. Viva La Harold & The Ancient Forest Collective . Let me know what you think in the comments below.)

Thank you Andrew John Hozier-Bryne for single handedly keeping the fan-fiction title industrial complex well stocked

Birthday Blurb

"Loved your hozier fic!!!! Could you maybe do a little something where you join him during his shows in South America for lollapalooza and got to be there for his bday??? Maybe even his parents joined as well?"

---

The heat was definitely making your hair frizz, as well as Andrew's, but both of you didn't care - the music pulsing around you was causing both of you to shriek and giggle with joy, holding hands and dancing in a circle.

A small banner with "Happy Birthday Andrew!" - handmade and hand-painted by members of his band - were strung up between two trees, and it reminded you of a kid's birthday party. A cake was on one of the picnic tables, along with snacks and copious bottles of alcohol. Some of his bandmates were playing some songs on guitar and banjo, which was the cause of the dance circle you were a part of.

"This is perfect," Andrew said as he twirled you around, laughing and placing a kiss on your cheek, "I wouldn't want to spend my birthday in any other way. I love this."

"Yeah? You're okay with no fancy party, no expensive dinner or anything?" You countered, wrapping your arms around him. You felt him shake his head.

"While I'm in tour in a different country? And you somehow got my mom and John here? And you surprised me?" He laughed and looked down at you, smiling, "No. This is perfect. I can have a fancy dinner whenever I want but this? Is perfect."

You blush and shrug, "I may have had some help from some of your band members." You admitted. Andrew laughed, pulling you closer.

"Either way. This is perfect. You're perfect. I love you...thank you."

can u recommend some bands? i think i like ur music taste and i am terrible at finding music

ty :)

of COURSE I can <3 you’ve probably heard of some of these, but maybe there’ll be some you haven’t! I don’t know what you already like, so… here we go :)

Hozier. Yeah this was always going to be first on the list I’m currently listening to basically nothing else! He’s an Irish folk/soul/blues/etc idk musician who uses a lot of religious and mythological themes in his lyrics and has a lot of songs that include social justice commentary.

The Amazing Devil is a folk rock band with an incredibly unique sound. Their songs are incredibly emotional and have an awesome fantasy vibe going on—plus there’s two singers, and they often sing independently from each other, which is something you don’t see often!

Good Morning Bedlam is a bluegrass band that I’ve gotten into recently! They’re sort of like… a mix of the amazing devil and the crane wives?

The Crane Wives, while we’re at it, and

The Oh Hellos. they’re fairly similar and I don’t have a ton to say about their stylistic differences, but they’re all definitely worth checking out!

Florence & The Machine. Most people have heard of them but I always like to recommend them anyway

Alec Benjamin, if you’re into softer indie music! He has a lot of different styles of lyrics, but his voice is consistent, so he’s great to listen to if you’re looking for that sort of variety.

Chxrlotte doesn’t have a lot of music out, but I’m a big fan of the music she has released, including the ones about Good Omens! The others are more angsty which I love too.

The Family Crest is an orchestral indie pop rock band, which blows my mind. I can’t believe orchestra isn’t a more utilized tool in popular lyrical music, because they do it so well.

Good Kid is actually my brother’s favorite band, and I love them too. They’re also indie rock, but they have a very distinctive style and are easy to get into! Plus they haven’t released a shit ton of songs like some other artists, so it isn’t overwhelming to explore their discography.

Jonatha Brooke is an artist I only know about because my mom liked her music a lot in the 90s, but she’s got a super nice voice and has some awesomely relatable lyrics. I especially recommend her album Ten Cent Wings!

Midlake is a super melodic folk rock band. I’m obsessed with their album The Courage of Others, which has a melancholy vibe that’s super easy to get lost in.

Palaye Royale is harder rock than anyone else on the list so far, but they’ve got an awesome style. Unique voice and definitely darker themes in their lyrics.

Tears for Fears is a pop rock band that I love because my dad does. (My parents are musicians—I trust their music taste).

Toad the Wet Sprocket got their name from Monty Python, but PLEASE go listen to the Architect of the Ruin EP. You will not regret it. Also the song Something’s Always Wrong is like… entrenched in my very being.

Elbow is a band that I never see in fandom circles, but they’re definitely not obscure. Check out their album Little Fictions! They’re kind of like Midlake.

Will Wood ranges from chaotic and fun (The Normal Album) to absolutely soul-crushing (in case I make it)! Sometimes even both at the same time!

(I would’ve also put Paramore, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, and other rock/pop punk bands I like on there, but I assumed you already know them.) (If you were looking for harder rock or metal, let me know, because this list is not that.)

If you want more genre-specific recs or even album/song recs, don’t hesitate to ask!! Music is the fuel of my soul.

i don’t know how to describe your writing other than you’re the hozier of wolfstar fan fiction

truly one of the greatest compliments I could ever hope to receive… this will sustain my ego for the next 10-12 months, thank you 💚🌿📗📝 x

Im just gonna say it. The lack of Hozier fan fiction out there is a god damn travesty. This man is everything any of us could ever want, he is doing everything right, he’s an activist, he’s a feminist, he has long curly hair and he’s 6’6 for fucks sake, and y’all are just WILLFULLY NEGLECTING your duty as writers to make beautiful art about this man. The hell is wrong with y’all.

bee's record player: march edition. 🎀𓂃 ࣪˖

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 !! notice !! ♡

surpriseee <3 wanted to try and add a little of my personal influence to my girlblog since music is literally my entire life & thought it might be funny to show u all what makes up the chaotic glittery mess that is my brain (and because there are almost 1000 of you beautiful people following me whatt?? thank you😭). i've allllways wanted to do smth like this too so, here u go !! 🩷💗

(+ this is a way for me to rant about my interests without being annoying to my friends / moots 😭. to anybody who has listened to me rant or cry or scream or whatever over music ily guys mwa)

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 NEW ARRIVALS

goddess, laufey

♡ released march 6th, 2024

♡ single

♡ running time: 4 minutes 28 seconds

eternal sunshine, ariana grande

♡ released march 8th, 2024

♡ full album / LP

♡ best songs: supernatural, the boy is mine, we can't be friends (wait for your love), intro (end of the world)

♡ running time: 35 minutes 33 seconds

unheard, hozier

♡ released march 22nd, 2024

♡ extended play / EP

♡ best songs: too sweet (i adore this song.)

♡ running time: 13 minutes 59 seconds

super real me, illit

♡ released march 25th, 2024

♡ extended play / EP, debut! ♡

♡ best songs: magnetic, midnight fiction

♡ running time: 9 minutes 36 seconds

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 BEE'S TRACKS: TOP 10

♡ 10. my world, illit

girly girl song!! i've been obsessed with illit's whole super real me album, their debut is soo good oh my gosh. its criminally short but i seem to have listened to it a lot !! 😭

♡ 9. we can't be friends (wait for your love), ariana grande

i have SO MUCH to say about this song but it resonates with me so much in so many different ways and i just. oh my god. ariana i love u so much

♡ 8. we got so much, le sserafim

k so i initially didn't really like this song but... it's grown on me. a lot. since it first came out. um. it's pretty simple honestly and it's just really girly girl it makes me feel like a school girl i love it

♡ 7. this is what makes us girls, lana del rey

girlblogger anthem!! okay confession i did not get into this song until LAST MONTH. i know. it's terrible and i am ashamed i am so sorry. but i have formed such a strong emotional attachment to this song its crazy i adore it

♡ 6. imperfect for you, ariana grande

exposing myself pt.3 i was in a really big depressive slump for like one half or more of this month actually and this song helped me so much i can't 😭 i love you ari

♡ 5. the boy is mine, ariana grande

(are you noticing a pattern here yet) um another ariana grande song no lol um idk what ur talking about haha 🥰 this song is so twerkable im sorry i wasnt a fan at first but im obsessed i need to stop

♡ 4. smart, le sserafim

no words. once again wasn't a huge fan originally but oh my god im obsessed w it now. afrobeat type of songs are, will, and always be top tier and i will die on this hill. (i've been SO OBSESSED with le sserafim lately but i think thats fairly obvious here😭)

♡ 3. eternal sunshine, ariana grande

i adore this song oh my god. its become one of my favs of all time since it came out. this was on loop for HOURS when i first heard it and its such a comfort song for me. it shows her growth so beautifully and there's so much about it i just absolutely adore like i could write a whole essay on this song and still wouldnt be able to express how much i love it

♡ 2. magnetic, illit

illit was bound to pop up here again this month tbh ok so me and my bsf were listening to this on loop the entire time at school a little after it came out like we were sitting in the front row of our class and were still watching the magnetic mv under the desk on her phone. so in love with this song it makes me so happy n feel so cute i ahh <3

♡ 1. supernatural, ariana grande

SUPERNATURAL IS THE SONG EVER. first day it came out i listened to the album and this was on loop constantly for the next week or more. it's made it up to my top 10 fav songs of all time ever and i listen to A LOT of music. this song is my life<333

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ALBUMS

♡ 1. eternal sunshine, ariana grande

fairly self explanatory. i love u ari. there was soo much ari this month bc ive been a diehard ari stan since i was 8 and have never looked back. since yes and released in january i have been ecstatic about ag7 releasing in march after 4 YEARS of no ari so this was MONUMENTAL for me 😭😭 THE DROUGHT IS OVER ARIANATORS RISE 🩷🩷🩷

♡ 2. super real me, illit

so basically the day this album came out my best friend was spamming me about them and i only listened to them like 2 days after cuz she was annoying me about it and OH MY GOD. i listened to them and then proceeded to loop the whole album for the next 72 hours 💗 and for a debut as well is amazing ily illit girlies

♡ 3. with you-th, twice

so i wasn't much of a fan at first bc they just sounded really similar and bland to me but its grown on me a lot since it came out and i've been listening to it so much throughout the entirety of march. its just so oddly comforting in a way and feels like a hug in music form (+ rush and bloom are the best songs argue with the wall)

♡ 4. easy, le sserafim

self explanatory. i'm obsessed with le sserafim at the moment and this album is everything to me. ass shaking album 10/10

♡ 5. k-12, melanie martinez

i have been revisiting one of my fav albums of all time this month and its as amazing as always. this has been my favourite album of all time since it came out and i will never ever get over k12 🩷 10000/10!!!! <3

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ARTISTS

♡ TOMORROW X TOGETHER

♡ TWICE

♡ LANA DEL REY

♡ LE SSERAFIM

♡ ARIANA GRANDE

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 SPECIAL MENTIONS

♡ happy 1 year to portals by melanie martinez! oh my god this album helped me through all of 2023 and i went to see her on tour in london for my birthday last november and it was surreal. she's amazing. i adore her and this album (i have it on vinyl hehe) and love it SOO MUCH 💖

♡ expect ordinary things by ariana grande to be high high on my top 10 next month its been on loop for days now im obsessed

♡ there's going to be a LOT in next month's issue seeing as 2 of my all time favs are coming back next month, so prepare for that! so excited ahh <3 (one has already released at the time of writing this. prepare urselves.)

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 EDITOR'S NOTE

this was SO FUN oh my gosh. i am 100% making this a regular thing~ lmk if it was entertaining, improvements needed, artists / albums you'd like me to keep up with etc, or just general comments, ideas, reviews and so on. thank you so much for reading, this was so fun! look forward to next month 💗🫶💖

lots of love 💘

TBH people are so deranged about hozier. i love his music and he seems like he would be great to converse with for a few hours but can we just. Remember hes just a person and stop saying insane things lol and also mitski and boygenius fans--and i say this as someone who had mitski and julien baker as their top artists on spotify more than once, yall need more than grass go to therapy i mean it get ahold of yourselves 😭

he absolutely is just a person and people talking about him as though he is a fictional blorbo is just.....bizarre. i love his music deeply but he is also literally just a guy called andrew