#hijabi’s daily struggles | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

espressokiri · 3 years

Note

Hi there. Another Muslimah here.

Hope you don't mind me sending you an ask. I read your fic about the BNHA boys with a muslim s/o. It was really good. I loved it so much. (There aren't many fics like this, which is a shame cause we like fanfics too. So this was very refreshing. Thank you.💚😉)

Could you do one for the Haikyuu boys, specifically Tsukishima, Kuroo, Sugawara, and Bokuto. But only if you want to, of course.

Hope you have a great and productive day.

Tsukishima Kei, Kuroo Tetsurou, Sugawara Koushi, and Bokuto Koutarou x Hijabi!reader

In which reader is a hijabi Muslim.

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff

Notes: You're welcome to send asks anytime <3 I may be slow at getting through them but I will make sure to get them out! Thank you for being so sweet anon <3 I hope you enjoy this one! ^^ I’m sorry if it seems bland as I was slowly losing ideas.

Tsukishima Kei

His eyes would constantly drift to you during class hours, lips twitching into a smile as he would watch you struggle with the assignment sheet given during history class.

Would take that as a leeway to make conversation and help you out.

"Tsk, can't even do a simple history assignment?"

Just sits down next to you and points out what you did wrong while helping you out.

Flinches his hand away and mutters a sorry if your hands accidentally graze each others.

He knows how strict the dating rules were and he admired it, thinking it was a safe way to keep them away from harm and heartbreak.

Becomes your unofficial tutor just to spend more time with you.

Has the urge to flick your forehead most times when you purposely tease him.

Is worried when he sees you zoning out in the middle of class during Ramadan, you have to convince him you're fine and that you're getting your studying done despite the odd sleep schedule you've created.

He'll give you a small box of his favourite treat, strawberry short cake, randomly throughout Ramadan because he knows you crave more sweets during the days you fast than regular days.

He calls you a masochist when he finds you watching cooking/baking videos while fasting.

Will stop by your house to drop off pastries during Eid for you and your family because he wants to peak at you all dressed up as he's only seen you in your school uniform or in casual but modest fashion.

He feels a sense of security, enjoying the aspect of getting to know someone with no sense of rush.

Kuroo Tetsurou

He's such an awkward nerd please.

Wants to approach you but fears he might accidentally offend you due to his provocative nature, hence resorts to staring at you from across the room.

Would research more about your religion and would use that as a way to start small talk;

“Hey, uh, I was wondering how do you manage to pray Zuhr when you’re in school? Isn’t it bad that you have to miss it?”

“Oh uh, I usually run home as soon as I can or pray in my club room if there are meetings, my club members are very understanding.”

“Oh... I see.”

“That’s pretty cool of you to be concerned, Kuroo-san.”

Cue him asking you random but wholesome questions with genuine curiosity.

“Did you know men who oppress women are considered to not follow Islam? I find that really nice that women are equal to men in your religion!”

You smile at him and his interest in your religion.

Study sessions in the library because you both wanted to spend time with each other but he knows it is wrong for a male to be alone in the same room as the opposite gender so you both opted for the library where there are lots of people.

Gasps and immediately looks away when you unravel the scarf around your head to fix;

“Y/n! You can’t do that!!”

“I’m wearing an underscarf calm down.”

You rolled your eyes at the dramatic male but smiled at his respectful nature.

Ramadan? Catch him ruining his sleep schedule just to have movie nights with you through the phone and Netflix Party.

Kenma teases him about it because Kuroo used to yell at him about his own staying up late gaming obsession.

Likes it when you wear a cap on top of your hijab, he thinks it looks cool on you.

He’ll convince you to skip school during Eid if it falls on a school day, telling you that it’s important that you spend at least the first day of it with your family.

Overall, he’s the type to keep up with the Islamic calendar and learn new facts daily as he asks you to explain each and everything about your religion and lifestyle.

Sugawara Koushi

See’s you for the first time with Kiyoko when he went to excuse her from class for managerial duties.

Smitten from first sight.

Begs Kiyoko to let you be her assistant manager.

He keeps a distance from you during your first introduction and conversation because he didn’t know what you were comfortable with.

He was in awe to find out there were sports hijab when he saw you sporting one to play a short game with an over-enthusiastic Hinata.

“Here, stay hydrated.”

Hands you a bottle of water along with a towel, a newfound respect for playing in hot weather conditions fully covered.

Due to the chaotic nature of the first and second years, Sugawara would run to cover your eyes with his jacket or hover his hands in front of your face whenever Tanaka would rip off his shirt to swing around whenever he spiked.

Sugawara had to stop himself multiple times from clapping his hand onto your shoulder, resulting in him just smacking either Asahi or Daichi when they mention him almost touching you.

Outings between you two is always monitored by the third years, Asahi smiling proudly at his friend Suga while Daichi and Kiyoko would sneakily take candid pictures of you both.

“What’s one verse you hold dear to your heart?”

You look at him from the warm mug of drink you are holding, tilting your head as you look at him in confusion. Sugawara felt the tips of his ears go red at the cute expression you held, and explains his question.

“Ah,” you thought long and hard before giving him an answer, “ ‘Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear...’ I find that part of the verse very reassuring in times when I feel like I’m overwhelmed.”

Sugawara held onto every word, finding the beauty behind those words, he felt at peace. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He smiles.

It felt like he was more excited than you for Ramadan.

He would read out loud the Japanese translation of the Quran after you read out the Arabic words in a beautiful and soothing voice. He wanted to understand and learn.

He was hooked onto the peaceful energy the month brought despite life going on normally.

This man would wear a formal Kimono when your family invites his over for Eid, he wanted to make the best impression despite already meeting them in passing.

Suga had a sense of security and comfort around him and you felt lucky to have met someone such as him.

Bokuto Koutarou

Oh God.

Akaashi had a field day trying to stop him from initiating any and every kind of physical affection when he first introduced you to him.

Bokuto is a man who expresses himself with affection, so he was lucky for Akaashi to explain to him why he shouldn’t initiate any physical affection without asking for what you considered crossing a boundary.

He knows he can’t drag you to the gym to watch him play volleyball by hand, so he asks you to hold onto the end of a pen, which you took, confused as to what the male exactly wants before realizing he was holding the other end and using that to drag you to where the gym was.

It was oddly endearing.

“Did you see my spike, Y/n?! Didya see?!”

“Yes, Bokuto. It was really cool!”

Cue a chest puffed up Bokuto who grinned with pride.

Invites you to eat lunch with him and Akaashi on the roof.

Having to refuse his food because you weren’t sure if there was pork in it or not.

This made Bokuto stop bringing in food that contained pork, not knowing even aside from that, he had to have the halal form of chicken or beef.

Akaashi had to explain everything to him when he asked him once.

Tried to go vegetarian one day, failed the minute he took a bite out of his food.

Feels bad when he eats on days you are fasting, so he tries finishing the meal before you come up to their usual meeting spot, resulting in him giving himself a stomach ache.

Brings you tuna filled onigiri to take home so you can eat it as a snack during the night after breaking your fast.

Sends you spam messages minutes before having to break your fast;

‘Are you excited to eat?!?!?!’

‘What are you having today?!?’

‘If you want to get any snacks later let me know! :D’

‘ONE MINUTE LEFT!!’

He’s so wholesome please.

Wants to skip school with you for Eid, but pouts when you tell him you’ll be spending it with family.

Asks you to send an OOTD pic so he could be your hype-man.

Bokuto is always willing to understand more about you and your religion, making sure to note things in his head for future references.

#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #sugawara fluff #haikyuu scenarios #sugawara scenario #sugawara koshi imagine #bokuto x reader #bokuto imagines #sugawara x reader #bokuto fluff #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima imagine #tsukishima fluff #kuroo imagine #kuroo fluff #kuroo x reader #haikyuu headcanons

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aerequets · 3 years

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can you give me some webtoon recommendations? name some of your favorites! :)

i am here to answer folks 😎

all of these webtoons can be found on webtoons.com! I'm not sure about the whole daily pass thing they've got going on (which sucks tbh) but like,,, you could probably find it online illegally. NOT THAT I CONDONE ILLEGAL ACTIVITY HAHAHAHA ᵖˢˢᵗ ⁱᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ˡᵒᵒᵏ ⁱᵗ'ˢ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ

I'll split these up between completed and in progress :) most are still in progress though

COMPLETED

1) Gourmet Hound (166 chapters)

this is like, my all time favorite webtoon. it follows Lucy and her quest to find all the chefs that left her favorite restaurant, Dimanche! it’s a really heartfelt story and the food illustrations make you really hungry, so make sure you have a snack before you sit down to read it. each character’s name is also food-related, so that’s pretty cool too! and the diversity in this webtoon is AMAZING. it’s the only webtoon i’ve ever read that has a hijabi character in the main cast. the development is done really well and it explores themes of loving and letting go. all in all, it has a bit of everything. i personally love food-related things, and this centers around it, so i was set LOL

(also a bonus is that this webtoon has NOT succumbed to daily pass hell, so you can binge read the whole thing. legally.)

2) Hooky (200 chapters)

if you like stories of witches, this is the one! the summary and beginning chapters are deceptively lighthearted. DO NOT BE FOOLED! the story really develops further on and explores numerous conflicts, a big one being (if i remember correctly) witch vs. nonwitch. if you like to see struggles between two sides, not a good-and-evil but just people-who-want-the-best-for-themselves-and-their-loved-ones type of thing, this is good for that. also, sibling love! the two main characters are Dani and Dorian, and while there is someee romance, i like how this story centers around the siblings first and foremost. ALSO THE ART??? I LOVE HOW THE AUTHOR DRAWS SETTINGS SO MUCH and am unabashedly jealous because i am completely incapable of doing so just like,,,, even if the story doesn’t pull you in, you can at least stare at each panel for long stretches of time.

(unfortunately succumbed to daily pass, but you can read it on mangaowl or manganelo!)

3) Spirit Fingers (167 chapters)

aww, this one is cute. Amy is 18 and lacking in self confidence (her family definitely doesn’t help). but HEY she joins a wacky art club!! without her parents knowing!! HECK YEAH!! unfortunately it takes more than joining an art club for her to learn to love herself (it is a long journey after all!). i love this webtoon because it explores the problems of multiple people, not just amy: her high achieving brothers, her mother who had to give up her dream, the different members in the art club, Amy’s girl friends. the art is unique and has a cool watercolor-y texture! and the main couple is just adorable, too. if you’re an artist especially, i recommend this because that’s a big theme and you get to see these characters expand their art styles! which is very cool!

(you can read this one fully on 1stkissmanga)

now here’s where the majority of my recs are:

IN PROGRESS (all can be read on webtoon.com)

1) The Makeup Remover (currently 71 chapters)

i look forward to this every tuesday and friday because oh man!!!!!!!!! idk about you guys, but i am thinking about beauty standards A Large Amount of the time, especially when i consume media. and this webtoon is all about beauty standards (specifically in Korea, but still applicable like. everywhere). Main character Yeseul ends up having to partake in this beauty competition and, with her experiences through it, she begins seeing makeup and beauty standards for the huge role they play in society. i said it already but i LOVE LOVE LOVE this webtoon because it really challenges you as a reader to think about your own perspectives. why do we find the things/people beautiful that we do? what shapes our perception? how much of it is marketing, and how much of it shows in our daily lives? what assumptions do you make about people based on how they look? AGHH im sounding like an essay prompt instead of a reviewer but man. if you like webtoons that examine society through a critical lens (gosh i sound like an english teacher), this is the one.

2) Odd Girl out (currently 261 chapters; on season 2)

okay, first and foremost: if you’re NOT into long winded drama, this probably isn’t it for you. i will admit im not a fan of long problems that get dragged out, especially in a school setting, but i did keep reading this webtoon and i am glad that i did! the character development here is amazing and ONE CRUCIAL THING is that the whole first season (which is many, many chapters. at least over 100) focuses on the friendship between our main 4 girls. if you don’t wanna wait for a romance storyline (which comes in season 2), then you’ve gotta have the patience of a saint. i loved this though because lots of romance webtoons cast friendships aside or use them to further the romantic plot. platonic relationships are great to read about and this one does it masterfully! main character nari is resilient and emotionally strong, and it’s great to see her ruin her enemies

3) Cursed Princess Club (currently 110 chapters; on break before the final season)

this is another one about beauty and societal expectations, but in a fantasy setting! it’s really funny and the cast of characters is heartwarming. Gwen is a princess, but she doesn’t look like the typical princess. she accidentally stumbles upon the Cursed Princess Club, which is exactly what it sounds like: a club for princesses that have been cursed and are trying to find their self worth despite not being conventional princesses! now that i think about it, this is like a lighthearted mixture of Makeup Remover and Spirit Fingers. although while i do say “lighthearted”, this webtoon has its fair share of mysteries and exploration of deeper topics. but its funny throughout

4) Brass & Sass (currently 83 chapters)

ahh this one is really cute and the art is cute, too! i also like how this has a diverse cast. high schooler Camilla kinda sucks at band, but dangit if she’s not passionate. Victor is some type of musical prodigy but he’s a brass-hole (hahaha get it. no that’s not original i ripped it from the summary). now i KNOW I KNOW, the whole “perky girl and asshole guy” is so overplayed BUT DON’T FRET! this isn’t the type of story where the girl “fixes” the guy, or where the guy is an asshole to everyone except the girl. believe me, the character development and relationship development in this story is SPLENDID. there’s no real antagonist. it’s just a bunch of high schoolers trying their best to make themselves and everyone else happy, and that’s hard! the story is carried more by the characters than by the plot, but it works well in this case since the characters are strong and each one has a presence.

5) Surviving Romance (currently 10 chapters)

this one is relatively new compared to my other recs but it’s by the author of the Makeup Remover so yaknow i had to hop on it. BUT IT IS VERY DIFFERENT! first off, it’s a horror, so keep that in mind. the best way i can describe it is a mixture of the standard “girl falls into a story” genre, Groundhog Day, and zombies. Yeah. Bascially, Chaerin is our main girl and she’s in a romance story that’s she’s read a bajillion times, so she knows the day has come for her male lead to confess his love! except he doesn’t! because he becomes a zombie instead! hahaha well that sucks! it’s only got 10 chapters but i am very into it, and it seems to be taking an emphasis on platonic relationships, so i am very closely watching 👁👁

6) The Witch and the Bull (currently 60 chapters)

another witch story! and the art is GORGEOUS. more witch + nonwitch conflict, too! our main dude, Tan, is the royal advisor and he’s hella bigoted against witches. our main girl, Aro, happens to be a witch. and Tan needs her help to make him into a human again (because he got turned into a bull. that is worth mentioning). this is a very barebones summary and there’s a lot more that goes on, but that’s the general gist of the beginning!

ANYWAYS. this got very long, predictably, and i rambled for each title, predictably. i’ve got more that i’m reading, but i really like these 9! i also made comments on the art for a lot of them, which might not matter to some people, but i feel like my art was very impacted by each webtoon i read. if you’re an artist i recommend finding a webtoon you like and studying the art; try implementing parts you like into your own style!

anyways, i am FINALLY done talking. bye yall

#webtoons #my recs

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athenawasamerf · 4 years

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On Misogyny In Egypt

Before anyone comes at me with racism accusations, I am an actual Egyptian who acually lives in actual Egypt so please keep your patronising performative faux wokeness to yourself.

A few days ago, a young woman in Cairo was killed by three men in a tok tok who sexually harass her and then tried to steal her purse. She was pulled along the concrete with her bag caught in the tok tok. I won’t go into more detail about her death, because it is a truly horrifying affair. Let’s talk about Mariam for a second. She was in her early 20′s, she was walking home at 5pm, she was walking in a huge, main street, in one of the most expensive, high-status areas of Cairo, she was a hijabi, she dressed modestly, she was engaged and soon to be married. You see, Mariam was the Perfect Egyptian Girl. A good daughter, engaged at The Right Time, she was a good muslim, she wasn’t out late, she did everything right, and yet..

And yet.

This aspect of Mariam’s death is the reason why her case has the entire country on its feet. Feminist groups are screaming about sterilisation as a punishment for sexual harassment, and misogynists have been real quiet because of the general uproar. People are up in arms, two of the men have been arrested, I believe the third is being looked for now. But these things happen every single day, be it the original harassment or the resultant death. Why, then, is this any different?

The answer: Misogyny.

99% of Egyptian women have faced sexual harassment on the streets, 50% face it daily. This, along with our very very strong culture of ‘Don’t scandalise us and ruin the family name and bring shame and dishonour upon us by speaking about this’ as well as our extreme societal pressure to ‘drop the charges, don’t ruin his life’, make it very rare for any case of harassment or even straight up assualt to make it past your own immediate circle. It happens every day. It’s normal, what are you complaining for? or, the even more insidious, it’s your fault anyway.

Which takes us to the other force of evil in Egypt: uncontrolled Sheikhs running rampant with their misogyny, headed by the ever infuriating Abdullah Rushdy, who will get his own post soon.

If a story of rape or harassment happens to get anywhere near enough attention to become of national interest, you will find a million and one sheikhs ready with their overused talking points: harassment is caused by the women’s inappropriate clothing and lack of hijab. Oh she was a hijabi and dressed modestly? well, she should’ve been a niqabi if she didn’t want to get harassed. Oh she WAS a niqabi? Well she shouldn’t have left her house for no emergency, this is god’s punishment. Oh it was an emergency? Well, it’s the fault of those other scantily clad women who irritate men’s desires and so men take it out on all women.

And if you think I’m exaggerating even a tiny little bit, I can easily provide direct quotes from very prominent sheikhs for all of this.

Egypt being such a religious country, and non-secular, means that whatever the sheikhs say goes. Their words become the public conscience. Their declarations become fact. Their opinions become True Morals. And when all they scream about, all day and all night, is women’s clothing and women’s work and women in the public sphere and women’s perfume and women’s makeup and women’s voices and how to control women and how to discipline women and how women are lacking in mind and religion, that becomes the ultimate truth in the public eye.

And I’m sick and tired of it.

I’m going to start writing, hopefully at least weekly, about feminist issues currently being brought up in Egypt for the first time, and about misogyny in Egypt and the treatment of women by their families, by society, by authority, by religion and by the state. I hope this will start to bring the struggles of Egyptian feminists specifically and arab and African feminists at large, into a more global sphere.

#feminism #radical feminism #egypt #egyptian feminism #RadFem #radical feminist #misogyny #tw: death #tw: murder

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wheelygoodteddys · 5 years

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This Muslim Woman Is Redefining Hijabi Fashion In Japan With Her Gorgeous Instagram Photos

https://instagram.com/aufatokyo?igshid=18m9c3t1tegmm

"I want to show that Muslim fashion is something that goes beyond the boundaries of religion and that anyone can empathize with and enjoy it."

By Saori Ibuki and Kassy Cho

Although her Indonesian Muslim parents never pressured her to wear a hijab, Rahmalia Aufa Yazid always figured that she would eventually end up wearing one.

Born and raised in Tokyo, she initially didn't feel that strongly about Islam, so she had followed her parents' lead when it came to the religion.

When she finally decided to put on a hijab at age 18, it felt impersonal to her, and Yazid struggled with dressing in it.

Although her Indonesian Muslim parents never pressured her to wear a hijab, Rahmalia Aufa Yazid always figured that she would eventually end up wearing one.

Born and raised in Tokyo, she initially didn't feel that strongly about Islam, so she had followed her parents' lead when it came to the religion.

When she finally decided to put on a hijab at age 18, it felt impersonal to her, and Yazid struggled with dressing in it.

“I felt that the hijab was a religious item of clothing, so I was choosing my clothes to match,” the 24-year-old freelance creator, who posts under her Instagram handle @aufatokyo, told BuzzFeed News.

As a result, she found herself missing out on popular Japanese fashion trends and feeling out of place in school, where she was the only hijabi student in her major.

“Not only did I stand out as someone with foreign heritage, my daily outfits now consisted of my mother’s old hijab and outfits that were totally different from designs and colors that were popular in Japan at the time,” she said.

“Although it was my choice to wear the hijab, I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel as though the hijab was, instead, wearing me,” she said.

All that changed when she encountered the work of Hana Tajima, a mixed-race British and Japanese designer who converted to Islam in her teens.

It was only after she saw Tajima’s Uniqlo modest wear collection that Yazid realized modest fashion didn’t have to feel out of place in the streets of Tokyo.

"Her fashion didn't feel like it was trying to be particularly gorgeous, vivid, or even traditional," Yazid said.

“That was the moment the hijab changed from an impersonal, religious item of clothing to something that was true to my life," she added.

Yazid now combines Muslim and Japanese fashions in the city of Tokyo, sharing her self-portraits on her Instagram to her 14,000 followers.

She calls Tokyo a “cold and restless city," where people dress in neutral colors of black, white, beige, and khaki and where bright colors and striking patterns are rare.

She styles her hijab the way that Japanese people style their hair — to match their outfit and mood for the day.

Just as Japanese people vary their hairstyles, from straight to bobbed, wavy to short haircuts, Yazid uses different colors, materials, and wrapping methods to switch up her look.

For example, the hijab can be wrapped asymmetrically to create an effect that’s similar to that of bangs being swept to one side, she said.

"I also add accessories to create a more lively look,” she said. “I like hats, so I often wear a beret over the hijab."

For Yazid, Islam’s restrictions against women showing skin is the part she enjoys most about fashion.

Because hijabi fashion doesn't allow women to show off their neck, legs, or figures, it's a lot more difficult to come up with an outfit that still achieves an overall balance, she said.

“But for me, that’s part of the fun,” she said. “It’s like solving a puzzle.”

Her work has led to an increased sense of her pride in her Muslim faith in a country where Muslims are a small minority, she said.

Yazid said she wants to use her work to show people that they can wear a hijab, live a normal life, and not look out of place in the city.

Since then, she said she's received many comments from people who said they're inspired by her work.

Some of them have begun wearing hijabs, while others have told her they want to learn more about Islam.

"Hijabi fashion — Muslim fashion — transcends the boundaries of religion and can be a source of enjoyment for anyone," she said. "It's something that all women who want to look beautiful with can empathize with and enjoy."

She added, “I want to use what I do to improve people’s understanding of Muslims, change biased views about the religion, and help people realize the value of living in a diverse society."

"I want to show myself, a Muslim, living strong and beautiful, through my art," she said.

https://instagram.com/aufatokyo?igshid=r8wde9xhxypu

#hijab fashion #kimono #japan #womens rights #women #hijab #muslims #muslimah #multiculturalism #islam #beauty #veil #headcovering #modest

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claire-de-lune · 3 years

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Why do you think no Skam has had a successful season 4/Sana season. OG included.

Sorry for the the rant. 😬

I think it’s because Julie never understood that a girl like Sana would never in a million years have white friends as her core group of friends to begin with. I just need someone to tell me as a Hijabi Muslim if you had a white core group of friends like this? Maybe I’m dumb and I don’t get it, but this whole formula for season 4 that Julie created always falls apart because of how drastically different Sana is from the girls and I just never understand it and the appeal of being friends with people who are just so different from you. It just never clicked with me. You’re telling me there wasn’t at least 1 or 2 other girls in school who were like her? Why did Julie as a white woman even want to tell this story? She got one thing so wrong here which is the reason the season and all of its remakes always fall apart. As human beings we gravitate towards people who are similar to us and woman of color aren’t as ashamed of their identity as you think. Not saying we can’t have people from different walks of life as our friends when we’re older but I personally feel as though we always go back to the ones we feel most comfortable with and who understand our struggles, and look like us and don’t make us miserable every single day because they don’t get us or we have to change ourselves to fit in with them. I’m just saying people of color or people with different religious views than the one predominant in a certain country are not miserable every single day like this or are “ashamed” of their values and beliefs. Because, they will always find other people who understand them, and believe in the same things as they do and they are able to have happy and fulfilling friendships and find relationships with people who share the same values and beliefs as them. I’m also not saying we don’t question and select people who might not share our values completely and still befriend them, but ultimately as a species I think we gravitate towards those who are like us, and make us feel comfortable and at ease. There’s actually a thing called the “Similar-to-Me" Bias, which causes people to disproportionately favor individuals who are similar to themselves. These similarities could be tied to anything—ethnicity, gender, nationality, career history, educational background, and more. So anyways going back to why the season 4 formula doesn’t work, I think it’s as simple as a girl like Sana and her remakes in real life wouldn’t have friends like the girl squad. Because as you can see in this season and every season these kinds of friendships just make you and even the other people in the group miserable because no matter how hard you try you won’t ever understand one another. Our beliefs are so hard wired that it’s not ever going to be as simple for the girl squad to understand Yasmina as Aicha understanding her. To them it will always be BA was joking and didn’t mean it and to Yasmina it will always be they were racist toward her and something so much deeper because she is the only one who experiences it on a daily basis. It’s just doesn’t register. No matter how hard they try to explain it I just don’t think if you don’t feel that outsider feeling you just won’t see things the same. Because they literally don’t get it, and the writers don’t get it either. I know we say that there’s the internet and people are educating themselves these days and you can’t just stay ignorant, but I honestly think it’s something you have to experience to understand. All the skams should just skip season 4 🙄. In the real world the outcome of every Sana season would be that Sana realizes she doesn’t fit in with these girls and needs to find different friends. Simple as that. And that she isn’t ashamed of her values and beliefs but she just needs to find people who don’t make her feel like she needs to change or make her miserable constantly.

#wtfock #WTFasks

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storytellersumayyah · 3 years

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sumayyah speaks: issue one

This is terrifying but someone I care about very much reminded me of the importance of challenging yourself and thinks I'm brave, which means it's time.

I've been putting this off since February, but it's time. Once a month, I'll be writing a longer piece on an issue that is important to me and sharing it here, because I can't spend the rest of my time afraid of anon hate.

We're kicking it off with something that's always affected me.

The Problem With Muslim Representation in Fiction

Trigger Warnings: discussion of religion, terrorism, parental abuse, honour killings, religious trauma, domestic violence

-This is all based on my opinion-

As society grows more and more agitated with the narrative constantly being dominated by the same groups of people- white men with little understanding of the world, and white girls with a desperate desire to just be normal- the focus is slowly shifting to increasing diversity.

People want new perspectives. They want to see black girls fighting in revolutions and brown boys playing the love interest, not to make their white counterparts appear more attractive and seem more appealing, but because they are a good character with the potential to form a healthy relationship with the other character.

And that is a good thing. Because everyone deserves to look up at the screen and see someone that looks like them. Someone they can relate to. A character that looks and speaks like them. Someone that understands their problems but is able to overcome them in a much simpler way because at the end of the day, fiction serves as a form of escape from the daily struggles and injustices of life.

However, not every single difficulty can be removed, so seeing fictional characters deal with the harsh realities of racism and cultural difficulties is an important topic that should be covered because it means the difficult conversations can begin to happen.

But whether it is a child watching a Disney film or an older adult watching a new daytime soap, we all deserve to see ourselves represented on the screen. And over the past few years, this is becoming more and more common. With shows like Riverdale, Elite and Tiny Pretty Things being released on Netflix and with the target demographic of teenagers and young adults, more and more different groups are being represented.

Say what you will about those shows and their content, but at the very least, the diversity is somewhat there.

The issue lies in how this diversity is actually shown.

This leads to the problem of Muslims- specifically females- and the way they are represented in fictional media. Because whilst dramas may think having a hijabi is the most progressive thing they could ever do, it's not. And there are several problems with the way Muslim women are currently portrayed.

Diversity is supposed to break down barriers and normalise aspects of life that aren't always shown on screen. The representation of Muslim women only ever makes those boundaries worse and often ends up reinforcing those negative stereotypes media is supposed to challenge.

How and why does this happen? Well, there are a few reasons.

1. extremism

Not every Muslim woman or teen to live is at one extreme or the other. Most fall in the middle. It is how we, as a group, have integrated into society without losing our faith. Many women wear skinny jeans, things with shorter sleeves and their headscarves in different and new ways. But the middle ground, which is what is needed if things are going to change, is never shown.

It is always the version of Islam that borders on extremism that is shown. It is men controlling their daughters and there being no freedoms granted to anyone in the family. It is not being allowed to have friends or socialise with anyone outside their family friends. It is the constant watching and monitoring. Whilst this is, unfortunately, the reality for some teens, it is not the reality for every single one of them. How can we challenge perceptions when the same narrative is constantly being shown?

When young, or even older, Muslims (women in particular) are shown on the news, it is always to do with terrorism and murder. Another teenage girl has fled to ISIS. Another Muslim woman that was forced to marry someone has been found dead and they suspect it was the husbands' family as she tried to leave an abusive marriage. I am in no way saying that these things don't happen because they do. But what people don't understand is that anyone can be groomed into joining a gang or violent group and that these so-called honour killings aren't Islamic.

In Islam, the worst thing you can do is kill another person. Honour killing is rooted in culture. But if this is the only thing ever shown, both in the news and in fiction, people are never going to know anything different and the negative beliefs that are already so prevalent and damaging will continue to be perpetuated by everyone.

Raising awareness about these issues is something that is needed and is important. But these stories have been told for so long with nothing to balance them out. And balance is what is needed.

Where are the moderate Muslim families, where the concern is rooted in love, not control? Where is the family that will pray together and follow what religion says, but still allow freedoms? And the parents that give permission for their daughter to do something other than cook and clean- which is often more to do with culture than it is with religion, which is a whole other issue.

We need women that are happy in marriages that they weren't forced into. We need teenage girls that are going out with their non-Muslim friends and enjoying themselves, without worrying about their emotionally abusive parents manipulating them. We need a narrative that shows the experience of moderate Muslims in the 21st century.

2. ostracism

A lot of experiences that Muslim teenagers face are shared by their non-Muslim counterparts. Because they aren't always rooted in religion. A lot of the time, it is rooted in living in a society where these things have to happen. But when it is turned into an issue that supposedly only affects Muslim teenage girls, the problem begins because a warped perception of Islam and a girls place in it is created.

Every teenager is told by their parents that there are certain things they aren't allowed to do. It's a fact of life and something that has been happening since the dawn of time. Whether it's having a boyfriend over, going to a party or staying out late on a school night, pretty much every teen has asked to do something and been told no. For the child, it is a part of life and for the parent, it is part of being the responsible adult in the situation.

Not many parents would let their underage child go drinking on a school night, or just in general because it would be irresponsible. To suggest that they would is an insult to many different groups. If a parent does want to let their child do that, that is their decision, but most wouldn't, regardless of their religion or ethnicity.

Fiction often takes it too far. They make it seem like Islam is something that stops teenage girls from going out with their friends and having any sort of fun in life. But that's not the truth. What is shown on screen is a caricature of what happens in Asian households, regardless of whether or not religion is practised.

Girls are treated and raised differently than boys and there is no point in denying it. There are certain things sons would be allowed to do- stay out later, come home alone at night- that daughters would not be. This is regardless of culture and religion. Because for most parents, the reasoning behind shielding and protecting their daughter to the extent they do is not rooted in either of those things.

It is rooted in fear.

Every girl has a sixth sense that lets them know they're being followed without turning around. It tells them the difference between a man being kind and a man being creepy. It is what forces us to hold our keys and walk faster and not look up when somebody shouts, just in case you turn out to be that girl that was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And every parent has a fear that it will be their actions that lead to them being that family on the news, fighting for justice and trying to repair a hole in their heart. But the concern is never for boys because boys are not the ones targeted. Girls are.

So instead of just having the oppressive Muslim parents flat out refusing to let their daughter do anything, show that conversation. Show that argument that they have because she thinks they're being controlling and the explanation as to why. Because girls being told no, where boys are told yes is not an Islamic issue.

It's a societal one. Show their white counterparts also be told they can't do something because it's a normal experience to happen. And it isn't always a sign of control or disrespect, it is sometimes a sign of love and fear. Then perhaps Muslims being told they can't do something will be met with the same indifference as any other group of people being told no.

An even better thing would be to have a normal family. Where the girl is allowed to go out with her friends so long as she sends the text message saying she's there and that she's on her way back. Show other teenagers being told they can't go to a party because of the alcohol.

Make Muslim teenagers just like the rest of them, because at the end of the day, they're all still just kids and if we allowed the no to be viewed the same way instead of meaning two different things, then the gap could be bridged and better representation would be created.

3. the family dynamics

This is in no way meant to suggest that Muslim children do not experience abuse or trauma, because they do, and that is an issue that should never have arisen but needs to be tackled.

However. There are only two family dynamics ever shown where Muslim families are concerned, and both are just as damaging as the other.

The first is controlling parents. This is when both parents are extremely religious, obsessed with the idea of honour and power and will stop at nothing to control their daughter because they almost always only have girls. This is the family that goes behind her back and arrange a marriage, who force her into wearing a headscarf and who only ever look at her with disappointment. They wonder where they went wrong and will often voice this. Their actions and behaviour often branch into emotional abuse. And it's never spoken about. It's seen as something rooted in their religion and it cannot be changed, which is so damaging to every child watching it because if they are in that situation, they will view it as normal.

The second is controlling fathers. This is the dad that did not want to marry his wife and hates his entire family. They reek of misogyny and everything they do is in order to control the other members of their family. Verses would be thrown around like a justification for what they do and everything is seen as acceptable by the wider family because they are a man. It is this kind of father that leads to the daughter taking off her headscarf and running away with the white boy she just met. It is this father that leads to the mother just agreeing with everything he says, not because she wants to, but because she feels like she has to. And they never face repercussions for their actions. They are allowed to get away with it.

Once again, I am in no way saying that Muslim men don't abuse their families or wives because they do. But that isn't Islamic and the problem with the portrayals of dynamics is that they are shown to be and there isn't enough out there to challenge these perceptions.

White families are shown in all kinds of ways: nuclear, blended, single parents, physically abusive, emotionally abusive, healthy and happy. But white people have never been the marginalised group.

By only showing Muslim families as toxic and controlling, the negative view already held of Muslim men is only getting worse and makes everything they do be second-guessed and doubted. When the normal family dynamics of love, disapproval, petty disagreements and pride in their children are shown, networks can start crossing into that more sensitive topic because there will be enough of the opposite to show it isn't normal. But we're nowhere near that point yet.

4. the hijab

There are so many problems with the way the headscarf is shown in dramas, especially when it relates to younger women.

To begin with, it is always seen as a move made by their parents to oppress them. In reality, the headscarf is not meant to be like that. It is a woman's decision as to whether or not she wears it. It is her decision to take it off. If she's being forced to wear it, or only wearing it because she doesn't want her parents to disown her, then she's wearing it for the wrong reasons. Her parents are not being the good Muslims they think they are being either.

By making it seem like a dreadful thing that only ever oppresses young women and girls, the poor view held of Muslim families and Muslim girls only worsens. Lots of girls choose to wear a headscarf themselves for a number of reasons, and it has nothing to do with being forced to wear it. But if the only girls ever shown on screen are forced to wear it, then it normalises people making that assumption, which is wrong.

It also discourages young girls that may want to wear it from wearing it because nobody wants to be walking down the street or in a classroom and being asked if their parents are forcing them to wear "that thing" because it's uncomfortable. And there are girls that are forced to wear their headscarves. More than there should be. But the religious trauma that comes from that can be explored when there are more girls that want to wear their headscarf and make that choice themself.

The headscarf- in my opinion- is not an indicator of how religious somebody is. There are plenty of Muslim women that don't wear a headscarf and are some of the most faithful and religious people out there. At the same time, there are plenty of women that do cover their hair and are still incredibly judgmental and rude.

So having a teenage girl be completely perfect when she wears a headscarf- which is only when she's with her family, who are always making her uncomfortable- and then go and have the best time of their life when they aren't, is incredibly hurtful and damaging. It perpetuates the model minority idea. And it spreads the idea that hijabis are all very innocent, perfect and never act up.

But they do. They are still human, and they will make mistakes. They can shout and have bold personalities and laugh. They can go out with their friends and have fun, even though they wear a headscarf. It is not the start and end of their personality. They won't magically change if they take off their headscarf and it won't fix all of their problems. So when they do take it off, just a few hours as they sneak out to a party with their friends, it creates this illusion that by removing one small thing, everything will get better.

It won't. Most of the time, there are much bigger problems and other unresolved traumas that need to be dealt with, but because the headscarf is there, it is seen as an easy fix and a quick solution so a character doesn't need real development.

The biggest problem with hijabi characters though is when they take it off. There is never any nuance to the situation, and it is never something that is done tastefully or in a respectful way. It is seen as the biggest character development a character could undergo, despite the only thing that most Muslims want to see is someone that keeps wearing their headscarf.

A woman is completely entitled to take her headscarf, and it is not anyone's place to judge her for doing so or to hate her for taking it off, because that's not Islamic.

However, in fictional media, a woman never takes her headscarf off because she doesn't feel like she's ready to wear it. It is never removed due to a personal struggle that she overcomes with the support of her friends and family. It is never because she does not feel safe wearing it out, or because she knows she's wearing it for the wrong reasons and hopes to one day come back to it.

No.

It is always because a white boy comes along, and tells her that the only way she can be free and be with him is by taking her headscarf. It doesn't matter that she's only known him for a few weeks, and he's known for treating girls poorly.

She's different. He alone is going to save her from her oppressive father and keep her safe. Her friends don't matter. They're going to love each other for the rest of their life, even though they're barely eighteen and he's toxic towards her.

But the only way for him to do that is if she takes off her headscarf.

First of all, that exact situation is incredibly unrealistic, so it's even more ridiculous that it plays out exactly like that on multiple occasions. I'm a similar age to these characters, and I have lots of friends that are similar ages to these characters. None of us has ever been in this situation. We haven't even come close.

If fictional media wants to deal with something as serious and difficult as making the decision to stop wearing the headscarf, the least they could do is tackle it properly and create a realistic situation that leads to a girl taking her headscarf off. The whole thing surrounding headscarves and wearing one versus not wearing one is already such a difficult discussion with lots of judgement towards both groups, the last thing it needs is awful plotlines making it worse.

Second of all, there's never a proper build-up. In one episode, they are wearing their headscarf and acting like everything is fine. And then suddenly, a white boy turns up and is suddenly able to explain all of their emotions and feelings to them, so they just take their scarf off like it's nothing. But it's not nothing and for the people that have stopped wearing their headscarf, it's probably the last thing they want to see play out. Especially in such a ridiculous way.

The final problem is that it's never seen as something normal that they can come back from.

Everybody struggles with their faith. Bad things happen, people that you love get hurt and sometimes everything seems to be going wrong. And in those moments, it is normal to doubt whether or not you still believe in God.

People will make snide comments or treat you differently, and in those moments, it is normal to want to take your headscarf off because then at least there will be one less target on your back.

Struggling with your faith is not a bad thing and it does not mean that you are destined to hell. Struggling with your faith is human nature. It's why when you do keep to your faith, it is viewed as a good thing that you have done. Remaining faithful is difficult, and anybody that says that they have never once struggled with their faith is most likely lying.

If struggling with your faith is human and common, why is it never portrayed in such a way?

Where is the character that wants to take their headscarf off, but thinks about it, and speaks to the people in their support network, before deciding that actually, they want to carry on wearing it? We need to see a character have that struggle with their faith but then realise, of their own free will, it is something they care about and want to keep.

By framing every Muslim that struggles with their faith as a bad person, the entire religion looks unforgiving and cruel, when in reality, it is the complete opposite. Islam is supposed to be kind and forgiving. For every person out there, it would be nice to see someone coming back to their faith. Or a character that carries on wearing their headscarf because they want to wear it and they won't let anyone stop them.

They would have their doubts and their moments where they wonder why any God would let such bad things happen, but those moments would be seen as a normal part of life and they would not be seen as bad for having those thoughts.

All anyone really wants at this point, is a Muslim character that is human, with a real personality and who is a Muslim, not only in the pilot but in the season finale. Otherwise, none of the problems faced by real Muslims that stem from their representation in fictional media is ever going to be dealt with.

Just once, it would be nice to see a normal Muslim teenage girl, who has normal problems and who comes from a moderate family. She's not going to take her headscarf off for a white boy, she's going to get an education and enjoy her freedom and she's going to be just like the rest of her friends, with a few different traditions and views.

That is what people want when they say they want to see Muslims on television. They just want another normal character. It's not asking for the world, and it should be doable.

And if you are someone who wants to write a Muslim character but doesn't know where to start or how to be respectful, just reach out and ask! There's no shame in it, and there will be someone who is more than willing to help.

It is better to ask than to assume and perpetuate harmful stereotypes.

Thanks for reading, remember you are loved. I'll see you when I post next <3

Taglist: @eldrai @sapphiics @louisaland @skeleton-squid-boy (if you would like to be added, or have any suggestions for future pieces, just shoot me an ask or a message- I'm notoriously bad at checking them, but I'll do my best!)

#sumayyah speaks #representation #islam #muslim #tw religion #tw terrorism #tw abuse #tw honour killing #tw religious trauma #tw domestic violence #forgot to mention that the monthly articles are going to be tagged with sumayyah speaks xoxo

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thatssonano · 5 years

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So I watched Elite so y’all don’t have to.

Hi. Welcome to my random rant about muslim representation because I’m muslim so why not. Before I start, for all of those who don’t know me, I like to thrive on positivity, I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, I just want to give my opinion, because, as a muslim, I feel like I am allowed to have one.

Let’s begin then. Okay so, they made Nadia take her hijab off, they made her kiss and sleep with Guzman, not once but twice. They made her drink. And to be honest, I was so pissed I stopped watching the show at least five times. But I kept going, because, I mean, even if I don’t agree with something, I have to fully understand it to say I don’t like it.

It really seemed obvious to me that this show and this character were written by white people. Because I felt like they defined Islam as a set of rules instead of faith. Faith, which is fully based on emotions and soul. So to them, a muslim couldn’t drink, have sex, date... because the religion said so. But it was never a discussion about all the reasons why we’re not supposed to do them. About why we pray and why we put God first. And I mean, I can’t expect them to do that, but one can dream.

And I know some muslims drink, I know some have sex, I know some take their hijabs off.

I’ve had different talks this week about this show. One friend said that the reasons why some take off their hijab is more complicated than that. I’ve had friends who took it off too, and I know, it’s more complicated than wanting to fit in. You should just talk to them.

I told my sister about the show, a beautiful hijabi who has to face discrimination everyday as we live in France, a hijabi who cannot be seen as smart (she’s way smarter than me though lol). And do you know what she said? She said “yeah, well that happens, some girls and boys do that.”

And yeah some do that. But to me, it’s the old same trope that I’ve seen a billion times. And I am just hungry for positive, healthy representation. I want a normalization of young muslim women, who laugh, who cry, who love God and pray. I want to see a girl who struggles, not with her faith, not with her parents, but with what she wants. I want to see myself on TV, I want to know that my niece, my little cousins will be able to see themselves on TV. I want to hear them say “look! she’s a muslim! and a doctor! and an actress! and a fireman!” I want that for them.

I am not mad at the actress, I mean it’s her job, she’s supposed to do it. I’m not mad at the writers, they just don’t know. Having talked about islam with a white man, who’s a very nice (and cute but that’s not the point) colleague of mine, I realized that if you don’t go through what minorities go through on a daily basis, then you don’t get it. You can’t. And I know my troubles as a muslim woman in France, but I don’t know the troubles of gays, trans, Native Americans, sikhs, blacks, asians... So please, to finish this, I want us to remember to be kind with each other. Everyone you know is having a battle you know nothing about.

Also, I’m very glad that Iman Meskini and Tua Elfawwal started to pave the way for feminine and muslim representation on media. Let’s keep going. Yo guys, if you’re willing to join me, I’d be glad to write a scenario about that. I act too, I never mentioned that here. Anyways, goodnight guys, lots of love.

#elite #mina el hammani #Druck #tua el fawwal #amira thalia mahmood #Skam #sana bakkoush #iman meskini #islam #representation #representation matters #islam representation #Muslims #love #nadia shanaa

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middle-eastern-queen · 5 years

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Muslim representation in Elite

As a Muslim, I have so many issues with the Muslim representation in Elite Season 2. They portrayed us as people who need to be “saved” from our beliefs. Well im sorry to break it to you, but some of us are actually very proud of our beliefs and go about our lives in that manner. Most of us respect the rules and regulations we have. To non-muslims they may be “strict”, but to us its who we are. AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. We should be able to go on about our lives, just like everyone else does. The fact that our beliefs got reduced down to two horny teenagers in high school has me LIVID. Nadia legit took her hijab off, drank, had sex, lied and neglected her parents...all because of.... a boy?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

There are actually Hijabi women who struggle in their lives (be it at school, work, etc.), because they refuse to let go of their beliefs and don’t want to take their scarves off. And with refusing to do that, they get punished, judged and ridiculed by society for it. We get slammed with the most condescending line: “They refuse to assimilate”. This is not about assimilation, this is who we are. And we and our beliefs should be respected, just like everyone else’. And yet here we have a Muslim character who throws all that out... for a boy. Wow, if only I had taken off my hijab at 16, everything would be much easier (that was sarcasm). And don't get me started on her taking her Hijab on/off like an accessory. A HIJAB IS NOT AN ACCESSORY.

Listen I don’t want to start anything. If you love the show, great. I do enjoy the show myself. I too find Nadia and Guzman to be that couple. But as a Muslim, I kinda wish they had left the Islamic storyline out. Because it is disrespectful. Plain and simple. Instead of writing a strong female character who’s a Muslim, and showcasing her pride regarding her beliefs, they wrote a girl who let go of everything for a dude. As if her religion and her culture were “bad” and she needed to be “saved” from them.

There are Muslim girls who struggle daily because of that. Because they refuse to let go of what they believe in. Knowing full well that they will be judged by society for it. And these same women are the victims of hate crimes, assault, and rape on a daily basis. Hate crimes against Muslim communities have skyrocketed in western countries. It is an epidemic that people do not talk about. It was just last year that a young Hijabi girl got raped and murdered in the holy month of Ramadan, just because she was a Muslim. It was just a year before that that a Muslim girl, alongside her husband and sister, all got murdered in their own home for being who they are. So to write off Muslims and our beliefs as “well you can always take it off, it’s not important” is very insulting. Because Muslim women are brave, they’re courageous, and their beliefs are what makes them who they are.

#elite #muslim representation #season 2 is a mess #nadia x guzman #guznadia #elite netflix #telenovela

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writingwithcolor · 5 years

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British Bangladeshi Muslim 21 Year Old

I’m usually a lurker on this blog but, I’ve decided to send in a POC profile - mainly because it’s so rare for me to see someone like me represented in the media. In fact, I’m not certain I’ve ever seen someone Bangladeshi represented in mainstream media

Beauty Standards

Colourism is a very big thing still in the Bangladeshi community. My parent’s generation, despite liking to think that they’re very open minded still fall into the trap of the narrow minded view so present in the older generations. I’ve always fallen on the fairer side and as I grew up and developed mild iron deficiency, people would comment on how beautiful my skin was (and some people use the Bengali word for beautiful as being synonymous for fair), whilst my younger sister who is on the darker side but very rarely gets such comments.

Clothing

On a day to day basis, I wear casual English clothes or more casual Asian clothing around the house. But, for special occasions where I’m going to be with other Bengali people, I do tend to wear traditional clothing. Essentially, all the women in our house have two wardrobes; one with English clothes and one with Asian clothes. Although, nowadays, the English wardrobe seems to be growing more and more packed. A quick thing - traditional Asian clothes, especially those that are very flashy and embroidered, are heavy and so people don’t tend to wear them that often.

But - it differs between person to person. My mum wears English clothes around the home but her older sister wears a saree - a plainer saree but a saree none the less.

Culture

Culture is an odd one for me because I’ve never felt as if I belonged to either one. Growing up, I didn’t fit into the typical English stereotype because I wasn’t Caucasian and I grew up bilingual. I’d also hear all these bad things about Bangladesh, and the experiences others had around me would mould the opinion I had of a country my family still refer to as their motherland. But, as I’ve grown older and actually started to make opinions for myself, I’ve begun to accept that I can be a part of both, I don’t need to be one or the other.

Dating and Romance

In my family at least, ‘dating’ is done with the intention to marry. It all remains very chaste - with very little/no physical affection - until after marriage and almost all dates are with chaperones. The only ones that happen without chaperones are those in secret or those happening after the engagement. Nowadays, I feel like love marriages are the norm and most couples meet through being introduced by other people.

Food

Food is a big part of our culture. In fact, if you’re invited to someone’s house, or if you pop in for five minutes, it’s considered rude to not sit down and have a cup of tea or even to have an entire meal. Food is one of the ways that we show affection for each other and, especially for important days like Eid, food plays a central role. Eating a meal together on a festival day like Eid is one of the few days of the year when all the adults and all the children gather together and spend time together.

In my home at least, rice and curry is a staple. As Bangladesh is mainly riverine, fish is an important part of the diet. In fact, there’s a saying that if you can’t eat fish, you’re not really Bengali (which makes things a bit awkward for my uncle who is allergic to fish) and in some families there’s a tradition of a new bride cooking a fish curry on the second day of marriage. I’m not sure why, but it’s a thing.

Home/Family life/ Friendship

I could talk about family for ages …

My family is on the big side with my Mum being one of eight and my Dad being one of six. I’m one of three, but all of my cousins are considered like siblings - because we were raised as siblings. The familial bond is an important one and it’s often one that’s a burden to bear. For instance, as I’m the oldest granddaughter/niece/cousin I’m called affa by every cousin younger than me (Affa meaning older sister) and this burden is quite a heavy one to bear. It means that when the cousins experience any issues, they run to you to sort it out whether it’s something small or something big and it’s a burden I don’t mind shouldering. After all, it’s one I’ll likely have to carry for the rest of my life.

Everyone older than you is treated with respect - even if you don’t want to respect them at all. For some reason, it’s an important thing.

Friendship between Bengali girls is … something else. Often we’ll break off and have our own conversation in Bengali as if it’s some sort of secret code and this usually comes in extremely handy when discussing secret birthday party plans in front of the person whose birthday we’re planning. Personally, my parents have never been strict that I can’t have any male friends - I honestly don’t think they care but I know of other parents who insist that their daughters can’t have male friends.

Language

To me particularly, the language was an important thing. I grew up bilingual because my grandparents lived with us and they couldn’t communicate in English. But, I don’t remember ever making the effort to learn it - it was something I picked up. I certainly can’t read or write in Bengali but I can speak it. However, this ability doesn’t seem to have transferred to my sister and most of the younger cousins. Most of my younger cousins can’t speak Bengali and so struggle to communicate with our grandparents and it’s sad to say but this isn’t strange at all. Many of the new generation British Bangladeshi’s can’t speak the language and in fact, they don’t care to learn it because they don’t see it as being worth passing along.

Religion

As a Muslim woman, I find myself being constantly policed. Whether it’s by the media or by those around me. There seems to be a misconception that if a woman wears a hijab (the head covering) then she is the epitome of all things chaste and virtuous - but that’s not always the case. There are so many hijabis I know that don’t pray five times a day or keep their fasts or they drink etc. In fact, I’ve met a lot of muslim women who don’t wear hijab but their niyyah (intention) and their behaviour is inline with religion - my sister being an example.

The basic 5 pillars of islam, the first of which is the shahadah which is the declaration of faith. This is whispered by father’s into their children’s ears at birth and is the last thing whispered into someone’s ear as they pass away.

The daily prayers are the second - with 5 prayers throughout the day and this is something I know many people struggle with, but I personally think that faith is a personal thing - you alone know your struggles. If you are praying 5 times a day and you are ridiculing someone who only prays once, you may think you’re doing the right thing. But for all you know - that person who prays once a day may be someone who reverted to the faith (revert being what we call converts) and they may be on the road to accepting Islam. Your two minutes of ridicule may even turn someone else away from peace they were hoping to find in Islam.

Zakat is the third which refers to giving alms to the poor and this is often done in the month of Ramadan.

Fasting in Ramadan is the fourth pillar and during this month, Muslims fast from sun rise to sunset and we’re not allowed to drink or eat anything. (And yes - this includes water. Not even water? Is a question we always get)

The final pillar, the fifth refers to Hajj which is the yearly pilgrimage to Mecca. Everyone who is able to afford the trip and can make it, should complete it at least once in their lives. All my family who have been, have said that it is the most peaceful time they’ve ever spent in their lives.

Things I’d like to see less of…

Muslim girls being ‘repressed’ by wearing the hijab and having a curfew and being secretly rebellious once they leave the home.

Yes, I have a curfew but mostly it’s because my parent’s are terrified after hearing of all the stabbings and the acid attacks that happen to hijab wearing Muslim women

The overly strict father figure who is unreasonable and adores sons over his daughters.

My father was on the strict side yes, but I realise now, after growing up and talking to him that it was all shaped on his own experiences. Yes, he might not have let me play in the streets until late like other kids but it was because when he was young, if he stayed out too late the racist teens would approach the Bengali children and attack them. My father was strict, but in the way that other parents in his position will be. (If anything, my mother is stricter … and the worst thing she does is text me a list of chores that she wants me to do whilst she’s at work)

That brings me onto the next point; the mother who stays at home being uneducated and relying on her husband for everything.

There’s nothing wrong with that - but the issue comes when this character is used to put down Bengali women, to try and show how much better Caucasian educated women are.

Another thing I absolutely can’t stand is the idea of a Bengali girl falling for some plain, boring Caucasian boy and he removes the wool from over her eyes, teaching her how repressed she was and how she should embrace this Western lifestyle. When a boy tried that on me in my first year of uni, I walked away from him the moment he told me that he has a hijab kink because Muslim girls are and I quote ‘untouched and I can teach them everything’.

Things I’d like to see more of…

Supportive family units.

Whilst I might fall out with my parents every now and then, as is natural, they still support me. My father and I often head out for little ice cream cafe dates and my mother is teaching me to cook (although her cooking style tends to be put enough of this in and enough of that - there’s no measurements of anything) and my siblings and cousins and I gather as a whole every weekend. Those of us that live close enough to anyway. The 20+ of us that do gather, take over a house and all between the ages of 21 and 5 tend to be unruly and can go crazy but it’s a dynamic no one seems to want to represent.

The educated hijabi.

Goodness, I can’t stand seeing the trope of a girl wanting to marry and pop out babies and etc - yes, it’s a valid trope but again, so many people use it to show how backwards we are. My eyes are even rolling now - Bengali Muslim girls are amongst some of the most driven people I have met and this is usually because the older women in our families weren’t given these opportunities and most people instantly assume that we’re not going to get far.

Casual mentions of Islam - religion is a big part of a character.

But I hate it being a controversial thing especially since Islam literally translates to ‘peace gained through submission to Allah’ and newsflash, Allah is the arabic word for God. That’s it. Why can’t we have characters who have to be home before sunset because they need to pray? Or hijabis needing to go shopping for a new headscarf or even phrases like 'this top would be so cute if it weren’t see through’ or 'if only this dress was floor length and then I wouldn’t have to wear leggings with it. I hate having to wear leggings in the heat’. These are things I regularly say!

Wooow, this is long and I kind of ended up rambling. But I hope it helps someone!

Read more POC Profiles here or submit your own.

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wannaknowyoubetternow · 5 years

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Happy POC selfie night from a proud Pakistani Canadian Muslim! I would like to thank the creators of @swiftiesofcolor Danielle @ofrunningfoxes and Symona @toendsupwithyou for creating these nights. It helps make all the minorities feel loved and represented in the swiftie fandom. It’s also so important and so needed to combat all the hate that surprisingly is still present in this fandom. It’s also a bonus that Taylor gets to notice so many lovely swifties on here, which is also how I got my first like, so thank you guys for that 💖

Also with my post (if Taylor actually manages to see it), I wanted to add some things that I wish I had mentioned to Taylor at the secret session but forgot to.

Taylor, thank you so much for inviting me into your home and entrusting me to listen to your album early. It means a lot to me and the rest of the Muslim community that you thought to include muslims and especially hijabis to the secret sessions. It made us all feel welcomed and loved. We go through so many daily struggles of people not treating us equally and people thinking we are a threat when we are just trying to live our lives peacefully. Some people even tell us that we would never get a chance to meet you due to our religion and the way that we choose to dress. However, we know that that’s not true in the slightest, as you love all your fans equally, no matter their religion, race, gender or sexual orientation. It felt so nice to see someone I admired for so long treat me with kindness and respect. After I uploaded my picture with you, so many muslim swifties messaged me saying that they felt so happy to see someone like them get a chance to meet you and that they felt like it could happen to them too. So thank you so much! We all love you, we’re all so proud of everything that you do and will always support you and stay by your side 💗

Also on behalf of my fellow Pakistani swifties who all love you so very much, it would be awesome if you could visit Pakistan for the upcoming Lover tour 💕 @taylorswift

#swiftpocselfies #taylor

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strugglingwoman · 4 years

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Why I am been blamed for been hot!? A Muslim women struggle

As a women we woke up to a shitty day but you can always cheer yourself by putting some make up on or dressing up in a fine dress that accent your body and it is kind of our way to express our feelings and personalities

but what if your way of dressing become your number one enemy , what if you were supposed to dress up in a certain way just to avoid daily sexual harassment , to fit in a judgmental community or even to be more religious in the eye of your parent

if you can relate I am sure you have heard of Egyptian women daily challenges !!

After putting on two layer of clothing that to make sure not too much is showing my mom still criticize me for having a big ass which if I didn’t hide it the Egyptian street will eat me alive and you know what she wasn’t wrong !! Egyptian men doesn’t have boundaries or discipline when it come to woman , they behave like horny animals or even worst like we’re their property. Am I not allowed to wake freely in my own country ? is it my fault for having a nice body ? should I be ugly to live ? is it my fault for been a woman??

Most of women here wear hijabi at a very very young age , when they can’t even make they own decisions in life but parents gladly response to their decision! But what if their decision was to get marry why are you against it and not hijab ?? hijab is a huge decision and shouldn’t be taken lightly

Because families here are very strict in every possible way ( because from their point of view they are protecting you :”) women who wear small shirts and crop top are called slut and people will begin to insult the poor girl family just for letting her do whatever she wants , why ? if god wanted us to be ashamed of our bodies why did he create us naked ??

Bottom line as an Egyptian woman I don’t want to continue living here , I love my country so much but I love my freedom even more…

#strugglingwomen #egyptian woman #freedom #not fair

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outfittrends · 5 years

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Top 10 Plus Size Hijabi Fashion Bloggers You Need To Follow Outfit Trends - Ideas How to Wear & What to Wear

New Post has been published on https://www.outfittrends.com/top-plus-size-hijabi-fashion-bloggers/

Top 10 Plus Size Hijabi Fashion Bloggers You Need To Follow

Top Plus Size Hijab Fashion Bloggers: For the longest, we have all believed beauty as it was defined by others in terms of colors, shapes, and sizes. However, the new shift in trends promotes body positivity and talks about how important it is to be confident in your own skin.

Self-acceptance is essential when it comes to celebrating body positivity. Uplift yourself and others around you by redefining beauty and loving yourself with each passing moment. Here, we talk about 10 beautiful Hijabi women that choose to celebrate themselves with strength and courage. These plus size women do not fear to talk about body shaming, self-acceptance, and self-love which were previously believed to be topics that not everyone could speak about. Their strong will and positive attitude are worth looking up to. Get ready for a dose of inspiration which will leave you wanting to know more.

What Plus Size Hijab Bloggers to Follow?

Beauty is not size-zero nor is it in curves. Beauty is resilience that each of these 10 beautiful ladies encompasses. Spread across the globe, these women take each day at a time, spreading smiles wherever they go. Their fashion sense and beauty choices are unmatchable and are all worn with absolute confidence. We are in awe of how they beat social standards effortlessly and are now creating examples for others. They flaunt their Hijab proudly, making them stand out amongst the rest. They juggle between their responsibilities and prove that they are nothing less than superheroes. Like it is said, “not all superheroes wear capes.”

↓ 10. Iyza Aryff

Iyza Aryff is a freelance Plus-size model and a fashionable one at that. Her Instagram feed is super aesthetic and we love how she puts together outfits that are modern and creative. Here is her wearing a gorgeous pink shirt that she chose to tuck inside a pleated skirt. Her super cool fashion sense and her confident self make for a killer combination. Her everyday style is definitely on fleek and we are taking notes.

Here is another one of her uber cool outfit and we wonder how she does it all. With an audience of over three thousand, she is super impressive. We absolutely love how Iyza is detail-oriented and makes sure to capture every angle of her outfit. From her jewels to her shoes, everything is picked very carefully to go well with her outfits. She is inspirational when it comes to fashion for young girls.

↓ 9. Nazirah Ashari

Nazirah, also known as Nazz, is a feminist, traveler and a woman who loves accomplishing it all. She is based out of Malaysia and makes sure that her style matches the weather there. The images from her trip to Turkey left me amazed and I was compelled to want to visit the country myself. Her captions come straight from the heart and there is always so much that she expresses through them. On her Instagram, she often jokes about her double chin, calling it her triple chin.

This is her portraying her 80’s self for a series and we are blown away by her sense of style. The turban wrap, funky shirt, and the wide-legged jeans are all stealing the show here. Following Nazz and reading more into her life, here is what we learned. The beautiful woman takes every chance to travel around but does not forget to count her blessings in life. For someone with an audience of over 3,600, it would be convenient not to talk about one’s vulnerabilities, but I love how she is able to do it with such ease. Another lesson we got from her was to love one’s own self. Despite being curvy, she loves to dress up and does so flawlessly. It would be a shame for wasting your life dressing up in boring outfits each day.

↓ 8. Afrah

Afrah is a super mom who is based out of UAE and loves talking about lifestyle, makeup and more. She is a big foodie which gives you ever the more reasons to follow her. She has a very comfortable and laid back sense of style that we absolutely adore. Many mommies out there often look for inspiration in terms of people who are comfortable enough in their skin to practice their own fashion sense. While being a stay-at-home mom may seem like an easy job, it definitely is not. We love how Afrah is able to handle it all with ease while juggling between all her responsibilities. Here is a picture of her from her trip to Washington DC, which only proves her love for travel.

Despite being a plus size, Afrah loves dressing up in floral outfits and pashmina scarfs. Watching her smile and go about her tasks with such confidence is definitely inspiring. She seems to own a large collection of Hijab Scarfs and we definitely want to see more of them. Additionally, Afrah also talks about motherhood and it is impressive how she is bringing up her 6-year-old son Rahil. With a following of over 4,700, she is definitely someone to look up to.

↓ 7. Plus By Mai

Mai Alsaudi behind the Plus By Mai blog is a Middle Eastern blogger and is a mother to a beautiful baby girl named Ameera. She is all about body positivity and also talks about the difficulties that she faced as a mother. 116 million women worldwide have been affected by PCOS which is a hormonal disorder. Not many people openly talk about it, but through her blog, she talks about her own struggle with it. We love her chic and casual fashion style which appears super comfortable.

We have not seen a better-looking mom wearing wedges and sling bag so effortlessly. Being an Arab, she practices Hijab and we admire her love for neutral colors that she is able to pair with almost every kind of outfit. She adds her personal touch to each look by picking out gorgeous pieces of accessories like sunglasses, handbags, and footwear. If you are a new mother or a mother-to-be and are looking for inspiration, Blog by Mai is the place for you.

↓ 6. Happily Hafsa

Hafsa is a motivational Muslim mom based in Chicago who claims to help moms be happy with themselves and their bodies. Despite having a simple and minimalistic style, she is definitely someone we take much of our fashion inspiration from. Her winter coats and stunning scarfs are enough to brighten our Instagram Feeds. Hafsa often talks about body shaming in terms of skin color and weight. On other times, she talks about her beautiful family and the relationship she shares with her husband. She saw him for the first time on her university campus where he was draped in a Canadian flag, running about and screaming as Canada had won the World Junior Hockey Championship. That is when she told her friend, “I feel so bad for whoever marries this crazy guy.”

The ways in which Hafsa chooses to talk about her struggles, vulnerabilities, and shortcomings are commendable. More often than not, bloggers choose to filter out the happy moments of their lives when displaying their lives publically. This gives the impression of how perfect their lives are, which is often far from reality. Hafsa’s struggles with her weight, motherhood, and work are genuine. The way she deals with it all is a true example of resilience.

Via

↓ 5. Arfa Shahid

Here is one of our favorite Fashion bloggers who is also a journalist. She is a Desi at heart and currently resides in Dubai. She is Pakistan’s first plus-size reporter and an amazing one at that. Her statement style involves wearing a head wrap as a Hijab along with some super quirky outfits. Arfa often gets questioned about her body positive messages which are construed as promoting obesity. She defends herself by talking about how she has lost over 20 kilos and continues to struggle with weight loss. She promotes compassion and kindness by speaking against negative body images and abuse against people of all sizes.

She has immense love for makeup, dressing up and reporting. She also has a thing for concerts and is often spotted at them. Being a Pakistani, we love how she carries Eastern attire along with her Hijab. If you are a plus size Hijabi and love all things beauty related, Arfa is the person to follow. We love her super cute videos and reviews of makeup brands. She also talks about Mental well-being as someone who has struggled with depression and anxiety. She is a genuine person who talks about her shortcomings freely. The message we get from her is all about self-love and self-acceptance.

↓ 4. Sarah Aziz

Sarah Aziz is another one of the most followed Plus Size Hijabi fashion bloggers. She has an eclectic fashion sense that is worth every praise. Being from Malaysia, she has a Southeastern style of doing the Hijab which goes very well with her Western outfits. What we absolutely adore about her is that she does not believe in beauty standards, something that body positivity is all about. She posted the picture below with a Mean Girls reference which gives us more reasons to follow her.

Sarah’s fashion sense is something all young girls would want to replicate. We love her burnt orange winter coat that she added to elevate her simple everyday look. We love how Sarah does not allow her weight to stop her from dressing up. She believes that style knows no size and we could not agree with her more.

↓ 3.Had You At Salaam

If sweet and sass had a face, it would be this supremely talented woman. Leopard prints, bold colors and a thing for makeup, are these not enough reasons to want to follow her? We love how she often takes to Instagram to talk about body shaming and how damaging it is. She talks about how she spent years obsessing over her weight and often looked into the unhealthy means of losing weight. Weight gain and weight loss are daily struggles that we all share but often do not feel the courage to address it. With individuals talking about it on such platforms, it gives a sense of relief to know that we are not alone.

Learn all the right tips and tricks to doing makeup and skin care with her. Her casual style and positive outlook are definitely worth following. Being an African, she loves talking about her culture bringing it to light through her posts. We love how she is able to pull off both her heritage clothing, as well as, modern fashion outfits both effortlessly.

↓ 2. Yasmine

Yasmine is a Canadian living in Saudi Arabia and is all about Modest fashion and Body Positivity. She is currently pregnant and we are loving her transformation. Her optimistic outlook at life and the hardships that she has faced make her who she is and we are super proud of her. Yasmine is an avid traveler and loves showcasing different cultures and places. One thing we absolutely admire about her is how she expresses her gratitude publically.

Yasmine often talks about toxic relationships and how important it is to break ties when it becomes harmful. She talks about finding love and accomplishing goals, not limited to time. With how fast paced our lives have become, it is nice to unwind with some positivity thanks to her. Looking at the picture below, we cannot help but love her fashion sense. While there seems to be a blend of colors here, we love how they seem to be going together. Despite being a Hijabi, she is able to keep up with all fashion trends and pull them off easily.

↓ 1. Intan Kemala Sari

Kemala Sari is a young Indonesian Blogger who talks about all things fashion, travel, and beauty related. The 27-year-old is also good at self motivate and has a WordPress blog where she puts her thoughts to words. The tagline to her Blog, To my Mind, reads, “Honest and sometimes random.” Her Instagram features some super cool images of her that scream Fashion goals. She redefines the definition of beauty and we are all for it. Kemala also happens to be one of the most followed Plus Size Hijabi bloggers.

This adorable image of her tells us exactly how to do Winter fashion for Plus size girls. Being a plus-size and a Hijabi does not get in her way of expressing herself. She often takes to her Instagram to talk about body shaming and here is what she has to say, “Body shaming on social media is like a natural thing done by almost everyone. So natural, they do not consider it an act of abuse because they are used to seeing it on Social media” and we could not agree more. We love how she is a source of positivity and can help many with her words of wisdom.

#hijab #Plus Size Women Fashion

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