#hi. im kind of embarrassed to post this as my music taste is small
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my c!clingy playlist as of 28/07/23
youtube (incomplete) / spotify (incomplete) / full playlist
list of songs and sometimes notes in read more
01 ダイヤモンドハッピー - aikatsu ost
note: to me this is their little early days song... like lets do it! yes!
02 ふたりのきもちのほんとのひみつ - kill me baby ost
no note
03 decretum - madoka magica ost
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04 thinking of you thinking of me - bogdan raczynski
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05 at the crown of eternal sunlight - cats millionaire
note: really weird interpretation but to me this takes place exile/nlm arc
06 kill all your friends - black dresses
note: THE c!clingy s2 song... chose the black dresses version for the general vibe of this playlist, but the mcr version works just as well
07 P3RISH3D死んだ - bliss3three
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08 poor grammar - roar
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09 friends with you - the scary jokes
note: specific timeframe during exile/nlm where during their separation they start to really miss eachother, beyond the possible resentment they may feel
10 the center of the world - bright eyes
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11 cartoon network - black dresses
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12 dog - gezebelle gaburgably
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13 princess lunas glorious grilled cheese sandwiches - cats millionaire
note: i usually think of this as specifically c!tommy
14 bloom - black dresses
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15 fun fun fun - cats millionaire
note: i usually think of this as specifically c!tubbo
16 before the world was big - girlpool
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17 a home for flowers (empty) - omori ost
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18 forever - alex g
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19 pink funeral - beach house
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20 through me - beach house
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21 airstream dream - teenage kitchen
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22 final wish - ooxygen
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23 1000000 yellow butterflies - bliss3three
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#dream smp#c!tommy#c!tubbo#c!clingyduo#dsmp fanart#hi. im kind of embarrassed to post this as my music taste is small#but i think itd be fun if u guys also liked the songs on my playlist. then we could talk about it here#okay thats all#longpost#myart
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could we get some valentino x male reader pls?
Bruh I've been actually on Valentino x male/intersex male Reader so hard lately (and I don't mention intersex for like fetish reasons but. I don't know what having a dick feels like and sometimes I'm like "well what if boy but. Vagine" and, shut up its my gender expression power fantasy, maybe I wanna have muscles and broad shoulders, leave me alone 💀)
Right off the top of my head, I've had ideas recently for:
-boy band lead vocalist! male Reader! Just. Ok. Imagine Reader and Angel having kind of a beef with each other and at some point it becomes a sort of "oh yeah, well I can XYZ better than you" kind of competition amd Angel says some shit like "you wouldn't know what it takes to come out here and strut for a bunch of perverts who look at you like you're a piece of meat" and you just hit him with some shit like "bitch I LITERALLY sucked FIVE DICKS so I could headline for the Superbowl, you fucking LOSER, you dont know ACTUAL music, i was AN ARTIST" and you start belting out something sexy with a choreographed dance that is clearly professional level skill
-male Reader with a little sister and you protect her from Valentino by offering to take her place. You've never sucked a single dick in your life and hell you might not even be gay but Valentino has your baby sister's life in his hands and, you've got to protect HER if not yourself
- ughhhhhh I'm probably gonna make this it's own post too but I've been ON my "unwilling red string soulmate" personal indulgence lately and. Just. Valentino who sees his red string appear and OBVIOUSLY he's gotta RUN to find his boo and he finds you and immediately thinks you're the most precious adorable sexy little thing, BUT. You just. Look straight at him and how HUGE he is and reply "i-im not... actually into men 😳" which is a LIE of course and, here's Valentino thinking, AW, his poor little baby gay! You've never had a boyfriend or gone to any clubs? TRAGIC! But also perfect because he is just TICKLED watching you get flustered beyond belief! So cute!
-I feel like. He would try and give you boners on purpose and think it's the cutest most erotic thing. He's got you sitting next to him and you're filled with liquor and he starts REALLY laying on the flirting, maybe even... places his palm on your upper thigh and BOOM. Hard as a rock and you can't even hide it because he makes you wear tight pants all the time. He's just over there, "what's going on amorcito? :3c you feeling a little hot under the collar?" as if he didn't just spend like 15 minutes talking about how he'd love to get you on your back and touch EVERY INCH of you, how he'd love to TASTE you--
-this is gender neutral but, convinced he eventually forces you to do some of those sexy pin-ups with him and one day you're walking around Vee Tower and he just has that shit HANGING UP. Poster You is just braced against his chest looking at the camera all demure and vulnerable while he's like. Got his guns out looking all tough like "mess with my pookie and you're through" and of course he makes you do. Sexy ones. Matching lingerie?
-I think of forced feminization with a male Reader sometimes actually. Like you wear boxy unflattering shit on purpose and one day Vals just like "you've got a small waist for a guy" and is checking you over. It starts off small. He starts wanting to style you. Then he wants you to update your skincare routine. Which is all fine right? But then he starts pushing his personal tastes. You've got such nice muscular thighs... which is why you would look so nice in some fishnets. He'd love to see your cute little butt in a thong while you cover your dick with your hands in MAJOR EMBARRASSMENT. You've got such pretty eyes; can Daddy put some mascara on you?
Valentino straight up punishing you by dressing you in full lingerie, your ass is in garters, heels, full glam makeup, and forcing you to pose for some cell phone pics
-still over here just mentally 🤌🤌🤌 at the idea of Valentino taking male Reader out with him and Angel and you've got matching outfits. You and Angel are in little skimpy, color matching fits while he's in a suit and gold chain, something that makes him feel powerful while he shows off his favorite toys
-I rllllly like the idea of like, a male Reader who is a honeypot assassin. You can be extremely charismatic and charming and seductive but it's all a front; you're an S tier actor and you take your targets down when they least expect it. The Vees are all at the club and some upstart wannabe new Overlord decides to attack and you just JOHN WICK THAT SHIT. Picture the Vees just sitting there, everything is peaceful, suddenly, in a flash, you move your serving tray in front of Valentino just in time to block a bullet. All three Vees are like wtf? How did you even know? What's going on? You proceed to totally wreck shit improvising weapons as the attacker and his goons charge forth and you even wind up grabbing a whip from a nearby dancer and using it as a WEAPON WEAPON and that shit looks like it HURTS. You're out here "Michelle Pfeiffer taking out 5 mannequin heads in one take"ing that shit. You're cutting people IN HALF (because having hell powers is cool leave me alone)
-i like the idea of male Reader who was a professional male model and a bit of a tailor himself, like a real kind of posh art student kind of type. You're with Valentino and Velvette notices how impeccably you're dressed and asks you where you bought it, you just, not so humbly brush yourself off. "Oh no, I made this myself. Nothing down here really fit my tastes" and suddenly you're like, custom designing wardrobes for ALL the Vees
Honestly just "Reader in XYZ Profession is exploited by Val/the Vees for their skills" is an idea I've had a lot. You have a hobby in baking so they always want food from you. You used to cook drugs so they make you work for them. You're a polyglot so youre taken along on business meetings to make sure none of the Vees business partners are planning shit in front of them. Like. Imagine just being the bitch who sits in the corner of the meeting room and shoots project/product ideas at them and it's like ACTUALLY successful and they're totally receptive and like you. You're just "Hey Valentino, what if you and Velvette did a collab on a waterproof mascara where you shot a porno in one continuous take so you can show the actor putting on the mascara, setting it down on the vanity, and then they start choking on a dick and their mascara doesn't run" like. They love you. Vox is just like "so, any new ideas today" and you're just using your VoxTek Premium Exclusive Black Card to cut coke into lines, "*snooooooort* uhhhhh.... I got some ideas for some stupid little mobile games you can put tons of micro transactions in? Like just before i died there was this one game that was getting really popular but it had a lot missing, we could-" and they could all just kiss you
-on God, Fs in the chat for virgin male Readers who have Valentino finally pop that cherry. I feel like he'd find out you've never had so much as fingers in your ass and within that WEEK you're being dosed with love potion and taking him balls deep
-Val's the kinda yandere where he tells you you're safe being closeted with him, he'll keep your secret, he'll let you stay on the downlow, but one day he so much as ASSUMES disrespect from you and he's immediately letting everyone know exactly who you belong you. You're arguing with him and you go completely silent and cross your arms or some shit and he just takes a hit from his cigarette, "you know you looked a lot more handsome when you were screaming on my cock the other night" and outs you just like that, either as gay or as fucking him or both. Imagine Angel not knowing you slept with Val and he immediately gives you this hurt expression BECAUSE HE TOTALLY DOESNT HAVE A THING FOR YOU TOO
-Valentino would absolutely make male Reader and Angel fuck while he watches and or films it, and also tbh I feeeeeeeel like. Angel would be ok with trans or intersex men tbh? Idk. It's not clear exactly what his taste in men is? He doesn't mind when men are shorter than him, so, like, is he a switch? He gives huge switch energy and let's face it, that's one TALL twink. I mean look at him holding Charlie! He's strong for his size too! Pole dancing takes a lot of upper body strength!
Oh no... not me suddenly thinking about a scarier yandere angel dust who is a lot stronger than you thought... Yandere Angel Dust who corners you and takes you completely by surprise and you get a GUTTING display of just how strong his arms actually are. You're thinking "oh he's just some lanky bottom twink, he couldnt overpower me, in fact I'm scared i might hurt him, he's delicate" but like HONEY HE CAN SUPPORT HIS ENTIRE BODY WEIGHT BY JUST HIS ARMS OR THIGHS. He's a FIT twink.
-ive said it before but uh once Angel Has It Bad Enough, like Bad Bad Bad, he's over here, "oh Daddy, I'm just soOoOo scared uxu ya know my buddy Reader, that one ya think is cute? Well, he was drinkin' earlier and he mentioned wanting to move FAR away and he wouldn't tell me WHERE 🥺 I'm just so worried he won't be able to take care of himself, you know, what, with all that trauma about his FATHER and-- oh he didn't tell you? He's really vulnerable to BIG. SCARY MEN and im wooooorrrrrriiiied, what if he gets hurt, talk to him Daddy PleeeeEEeEease? 🥺" like. He might still hate Val's fucking guts but he's high on coke and watching Valentino put some real inches in you and he's having the most explosive guilt-filled nut of his entire afterlife
-im sorry I'm just picturing Reader being like "I'm not fucking gay, fuck off, leave me alone" and Velvette just not even looking up from her phone, "I saw you using that $200 hand cream. You're so deep in the closet you're finding Christmas presents"
"I'm not fucking gay" "amorcito I've seen the pants you like to wear. No straight men wears those"
"I told you guys I'm not into men!!" "That's what I thought too until I met Al- VAL! Until I met VAL! [OuO']"
Then one night you're off work and none of the Vees or even Angel know where you're at and they wind up in a club and, there you are, getting absolutely fucking wasted, on top of one of the counters, you know those clubs that have random pokes everywhere, and you're dancing, you're getting real zesty with it, you're dropping your ass, and here's Valentino jumping to his feet pointing a finger, "so you DO know how to pole dance!!!" and your fate is sealed from there on in 💀💀💀
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if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to @rosieathena - thanks so much!! ♡
Spencer Reid x gender neutral!reader
WARNING: mention of drugs...duh? also I’ve only smoked weed a couple times, so Im not sure how “accurate” this’ll be to the stoner stans out there
Reid Smoking Weed
- you only really brought it up as a joke on one of the many occasions Spencer curiously questioned your experience with weed
“Maybe you should smoke with me sometime and get your own answers to those questions, my opinion may be the complete opposite to yours!”
- needless to say, you werent prepared for his response
“Would that be ok with you?”
- you immediately recognised his fears, as well as your own anxiety at the thought of Spencer involving himself in drugs of any kind, considering his previous addiction issues
- but you also knew that Spencer had done every bit of research he could on weed, he knew it was only addictive in severe cases and that the limited damage caused to memory etc as a result of smoking weed is only relevant to habitual smoking. he knew what he was getting himself into, so what he was really asking was whether you would be ok with guiding him through his first, and most likely only time smoking weed
- you agreed, and the that evening the two of you headed back to your apartment after work
- he watched with intense eyes as you rolled a joint and lit it, before bringing it to your lips and taking a long drag of it
“It tastes a little weird, some say it tastes like cheese, others say it tastes like the way balloons smell and raisins, it’s kinda open to whatever you assosciate it with I guess.” You warned him, knowing he may not enjoy the taste at all, as it does take some getting used to
- you looked him in the eyes and he locked his gaze onto you, ready to fully absorb the instructions you were about to give him
“Try to copy exactly what Im about to do. This is your first joint, so dont inhale too much, just take it easy to start off with, we’ve got all night to get through the whole thing. You’re bound to cough, even more experienced smokers do, so dont be embarrassed about that. Are you ready?”
- he nodded wordlessly, and you took another hit, feeling his eyes on you the entire time as you inhaled only a little, held it, and then exhaled, before passing him the joint
- Spencer held it between his fingers curiously, examining it and taking the time to appreciate the fact that he was in fact holding a lit joint for the first time in his life
- it took him a few seconds to lift it to his lips, and you could tell he was hesitant, so you took ahold of his free hand to ease his nerves
- closing his eyes, he let the drug enter his system, only inhaling a little before he started coughing, but he did his best to hold it just as you had
- you patted his back and took the joint back from him, taking another hit yourself
“How was that?”
“Not as bad as I thought, you were right about the taste though...weird.”
“Do you want another hit?”
“I’d like to get the full experience of a weed-influenced high, so however many ‘hits’ I have to take, I suppose I’ll do.”
- with that, you passed the joint back to him and rolled yourself a fresh one
“Take that in your own time, we’ll see how long it takes to kick in and you’ll experience an enlightenment like no other.” You joked, but Spencer nodded excitedly, clearly so unaware of the real affects of weed that he would believe anything you said
- and so, you sat with Spencer, exchanging small pieces of conversation in between bringing your joints to your lips
- it didnt take long for you to notice it beginning to have an affect on both you and Spencer, so you stood up from the couch
“Im about to change your life.”
- Spencer watched you in a daze as you connected your phone to a bluetooth speaker and started playing some super chill music
- you swayed in time with the song, placing your phone down slowly and turning to Spencer, who had his eyes closed in an intense blink as he threw his head back
“I dont know what this song is but I looooove it.”
“Then dance with me, pretty boy!”
- you leant forward to grab Spencer’s hands, and he was quick to lamely place his joint back in his mouth just like you so that you could dance together
- and until the early hours of the morning, the two of you danced in what felt like slow motion, laughing at the dumbest shit imaginable long after you’d finished your joints
- at one point some of your hair fell to the wrong side of your face and Spencer lost it, he was in hysterics for 15 minutes straight, cackling with tears rolling down his cheeks as he laid on the floor
- naturally, the two of you ended up sky high, half naked and making out on the floor as the sun came up
“So, what was your first experience of weed like?”
“I think I have decided - though I cant be sure because Im still very much under the influence - that I will gladly ‘take hits’ with you anytime! But will we makeout every time?”
“Spence, we can makeout without weed, we’ve been dating for three years.”
“Oh yeah!”
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#imagine#imagines#x reader#fanfic#fanfiction#headcannon#criminal minds
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hello hello hello
just wanted to ask you about your favorite harringrove fics, and if you could link them? please?
i've been searching through the tag on ao3 lately but it's flooded with hate and even abusive billy stuff, which is ridiculous. 
so if u could link some good ones, that would be amazing!!
im so glad im still back in like 2019 in the ao3 tag lmfao
here’s whats in my bookmarks:
paper rings (E) - Dustin bets Steve he can't get a date for Mike's wedding.AKA the What's Your Number au nobody asked for
i'm saucing on you (E) - Steve wants a ticket to the biggest party on campus; Billy's got one with Steve's name on it.(Or, Steve has a crush, and so does Billy, and everybody's tired of their history of mutual pining.)
wind in the wires (M) - “If I could move, I would kick your ass.”
“I know, I’m sorry.”
“Just fucking tell him.”
Will’s breath rattles. “Are you going to tell him?”
And they’re talking about two different people. Billy knows, knows Will knows, meets those teary, red-rimmed eyes with a scowl.
“You’ve got until your mom finishes selling that fucking house to do something. So fucking do it, alright? Don’t cry here like some bitch. I can’t fix your problems.”
riches & wonders (M) - Steve's teetering on the edge of something, all alone. His eyes meet Billy’s. They’re teetering on the edge of something, together.(or a handful of the bricks that build steve and billy a home.)
We Slip And Slide (NR) - Pure indulgent post-S3 fluff, including but not limited to the discussed concepts of:
- Billy moving in with Joyce
- The Jonathan/Billy friendship we all need
- Grouchy Hopper
- Jonathan and Billy smoking weed together and arguing about music. Because punk and metal are two different things. BUT they unite against Steve’s taste
- Robin and Jonathan being excellent wing-persons
- Hop and Billy teaming up against Mike to protect El
- Shovel talks all round
- Robin being clever and eating popcorn
- The you rule/you suck board
This Too Shall Pass (NR) - Steve cries at night. Every night. And every night, someone comes to help.
the mountain should crumble to the sea (T) - One second he’s staring down a black abyss, begging and screaming to be let out, and the next thing he knows, Billy is in Steve Harrington’s bedroom, shirtless and laying on top of the covers. What in all fuck is going on? OR The one where no one really dies.
That Douchebag Steve Harrington (E) - The Hargroves come to Indiana one year early. The town of Hawkins is all abuzz about its first missing persons case in decades, but all Billy cares about is figuring out how much Steve Harrington really wants to date the stick-in-the-mud Nancy Wheeler and whether he can stop that from happening.
so many ways to talk about longing (M) - Steve wakes up--in a pool lounger--to Billy Hargrove looming over him. Billy pushes his sunglasses down and Steve thinks sleepily that it must be so that Steve gets the full impact of Billy’s narrow-eyed glare. “Harrington,” Billy says. “We’re fucking closed.”(or, three times Billy doesn't let Steve touch the radio and one time he kind of does).
Take Me with U (E) - Billy bobbled a bit as he stood to mind the fire on unsteady legs. He tripped over his own feet then flopped back on his ass, his back pressed to Steve’s legs, laughing, face flaming with embarrassment. Steve threw his other leg over Billy’s shoulder, his calf pulling Billy back for a moment. “You gotta serve your penalty now. Too drunk. Two minutes in the box, Hargrove. Stay put.”
Billy wrapped his fingers around Steve’s ankle, on top of his jeans. “That’s what I get for trying to be light on my feet like you.”
“Callin me light in the loafers?”
“I’m callin you a pussy.” Billy’s hand remained on Steve’s ankle. His back was still pressed against Steve’s shin, and his fingers started to drift under the hem of Steve’s jeans -- touching a small bit of skin underneath. Maybe he should not be doing this. Maybe Steve wouldn’t like it.
But the moment Billy shifted forward, Steve tugged Billy back into place with the leg that was flung over Billy’s shoulder -- pulled Billy’s back tight against Steve’s leg. “Stay.”
i hear the secrets that you keep (when you’re talking in your sleep) (T) - Billy’s there the way that he’s a lot of places nowadays, sort of absent-mindedly, like he’s not sure how it happened or why and is going somewhere else in his mind anyway.
Steve watches him more than ever now, and Billy rarely watches back.(or five times billy really needed some sleep, and one time he needed something else entirely)
i'll carry you home (E) - It’s been five days since they left Hawkins. They ride through meadows and woods, chasing the taste of freedom, stealing kisses, and pushing on as they get closer and closer to their happy ending.
i’m no maid marian and you’re no robin hood (G) - Billy snaps his fingers and says, “Prince Harrington, prettier than any princess in all the kingdoms.”
Take a Good Look You're Bound to See (that you and me were meant to be) (T) - Billy adopts a dog. Steve really, really likes the dog. And maybe - just maybe - he really really likes Billy, too.
Firestarter (NR) - He has completed his mission. Now, Six sits alone in a small room in Hawkins Lab and waits for his handlers to give him his friend back. Experiment!AU
break up with your girlfriend ('cause i'm bored) (E) - @umissedconnections: Bambi eyes. m4m. i was rippin cigs in the sae p-lot. u made urself puke 2 make room 4 more beer. incredible? ur my hero PLS say ur into guys
*
Steve finds he has a secret admirer who's continuously hitting on him via his university's Missed Connections Twitter account. // Tommy and Billy are the worst roommates ever.
the ongoing trials of two idiots in love (E) - Five times they fucked up Valentine's Day and one time they got it right.
I’ll fall for you soon enough, I resolve to love (M) - Billy is ignoring Steve, Steve is trying to find his footing with Billy, and a demodog needs to be buried.
meet me in the woods tonight (E) - There’s something in the woods of Hawkins, Indiana.
go west, young man (E) - Steve and Billy move to California after graduation. They decide to take their time getting there, driving across the country in Billy's Camaro. Along the way, they learn a thing or two about growing up, friendship, love, and each other.
Under the Covers (M) - Steve is (maybe) a little bit still in love with Nancy Wheeler and (maybe) trying to figure himself out-- between the night terrors and the babysitting and the general weirdness that is Hawkins, Indiana-- before he graduates. Billy Hargrove fits in there somewhere (probably).
wicked little town (E) - The summer after graduation stretches before Steve, seemingly endless and utterly empty. He can't remember ever being this bored in his life. But when he runs into Billy one night, after hearing a rumour about him at a party, it feels like summer might not be so boring after all.
in the darkness i will meet my creators (T) - "What's wrong?" Jane mumbles.
"I need you to take me to him."[or, the fucking fix-it for s3]
what a wicked game you played (to make me feel this way) (E) - Billy knew Steve Harrington would ruin him. Steve knew Billy Hargrove was nothing but trouble. They never expected it to end up like this.
the skater and the rich boy (T) - It's the summer of 1977 and the drought in California is in full force. Lawns go unwatered and swimming pools sit forlorn and empty. Around Venice and Santa Monica, skaters take advantage of the empty pools, breaking into backyards to skate like no one has before. When Billy Hargrove—a skater who splits his time between his job at a surf shop and skating with his sister, Max—breaks into Steve Harrington's backyard, it might turn out to be the best thing he’s ever done.
I'm a Rebel Just for Kicks (T) - Steve couldn't believe he was having to spend his Saturday with his ex-girlfriend, her new boyfriend, his friend-turned-pain-in-the-ass, and Billy fucking Hargrove. Steve couldn't think of a group of people he'd like to spend less time with than them. Hopefully, the next six hours won't be too bad.
and heres what im currently reading/recent reads... as if this list wasnt long enough lmfao
you're cold (and i burn) (E) - Move on. Let it heal. Maybe that’s why Steve said yes when Max asked him to help move boxes out of Billy’s room after the dust settled. He could hear her voice. Too many. Too heavy. Just like his wounds. His grief. Too many. Too heavy.(Or, Steve steals the glass ashtray from Billy's bedside table and things start to go bump in the night.)
With Your Long Blond Hair and Your Eyes of Blue (M) - Billy leans back and sweeps his hands through his hair, gathering it back from his face and any danger of dipping into the food. Steve watches, frozen to the spot as he produces a tie from his pocket and secures it all up in a messy bun at the top of his head.
Steve’s entire world stops moving.
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Steven
Im either delusional or I just never posted steven‼️
Steven was having a rough day at the gift shop; he was a huge nerd with Ancient Egyptian history, and he was the perfect man to fill that empty tour guide position; although Donna was being an absolute ass about it, she liked Steven, but whenever she didn't see Steven behind the register and he was out there talking to the guests, she called him over to tell him, "You're not the bloody tour guide." It made him embarrassed, and when he tried to convince her that he'd be a perfect tour guide, it was always a harsh, long answer that translated as "no," crushing his poor heart.
It was early in the morning when his radio blasted, "Lonely is a man without love." It's the rhythm matching the lyrics; he hummed the tune along with the song when he lifted himself to get out of the restraints, slouching his way to get the tape off and unlock the door with an unreasonable amount of chains, taking his sweet time to get ready for wo rk.A tight shirt with dark jeans—anything to put on quickly. Preparing his coffee and calling his mother, talking about his day, his fish, or yesterday. He was walking his way to the bus stop when he saw the bus stopping slowly as he started to catch up to it. When he’s yelling for it to stop and wait, he gets on. Phew!
He saw an empty seat, then he saw you. You wore a navy blue pencil-sharp skirt with a black button-up tucked in, your hair neatly tied up into a bun. Your phone is in your hands, headphones connected, and blasting loud enough. Steven sat down next to you; he could hear your music; it was [insert music of choice]; you loved it, and you loved the lyrics [rhythm/both]. You felt a tap, and you turned towards Steven as he gestured for when you turned the volume too high to be lowered. He had a soft, tired look on his face, his fair skin was painted with a scar, and his Adam's apple bopped for when he spoke, "I like that song; I believe it was [music artist/band], I’m not sure but I like them. Mind if I listen as well?" his tone getting softer with his smile getting smaller. "No, I don’t mind a bit," you said while offering the bud as he took it and flipped it to get a better listen. You had good taste, enjoying each other till Steven saw the museum as the bus started to slow down. "Oh, well, this is my stop; is it yours too?" he said, handing back your bud.
"Yeah," you nod, "I applied for a job at the museum to be a cashier or a tour guide; either way, I applied," letting a soft, small laugh escape between your lips. Steven chuckled a bit too; the bus stopped, and he lent a hand for you to grab. You both waved the driver goodbye before you walked across the road to the museum. "I’ll give you a tour around here; I’ve been itching to give one for a while," he groaned, his fists shaking. You laughed. "Are you a tour guide too?"
"No..unfortunately.." He sighed, "I work at a gift shop. Steven Grant is working behind the register, selling candies that aren’t even close to what they had in Egypt; all they ate were dates and figs." Steven went on; you let him go on if you were honest; you were kind of as much of a nerd with ancient Egyptian history yourself; although, it didn’t seem right, all this rambling on about Egyptian history and Steven isn’t a tourist. "How long have you been working here?" he asked, cutting off his ramblings. Steven.. He wasn’t sure; it seemed for so long that he didn’t have an answer: "Uh.. chuckling long enough for me to lose track, silly me."
Steven leads you to the main office, where Donna suits up. "Ah, Stevie! Late again, aren’t we?" She cheered with a smile spreading before looking at you. "And you must be y/n; welcome to the team. I hope you don’t cause any trouble or I’ll stuff you into a sarcophagus."
"Yeah," you nod, "I applied for a job at the museum to be a cashier or a tour guide; either way, I applied," letting a soft, small laugh escape between your lips. Steven chuckled a bit too; the bus stopped, and he lent a hand for you to grab. You both waved the driver goodbye before you walked across the road to the museum. "I’ll give you a tour around here; I’ve been itching to give one for a while," he groaned, his fists shaking. You laughed. "Are you a tour guide too?"
"No..unfortunately.." He sighed, "I work at a gift shop. Steven Grant is working behind the register, selling candies that aren’t even close to what they had in Egypt; all they ate were dates and figs." Steven went on; you let him go on if you were honest; you were kind of as much of a nerd with ancient Egyptian history yourself; although, it didn’t seem right, all this rambling on about Egyptian history and Steven isn’t a tourist. "How long have you been working here?" he asked, cutting off his ramblings. Steven.. He wasn’t sure; it seemed for so long that he didn’t have an answer: "Uh.. chuckling long enough for me to lose track, silly me."
Steven leads you to the main office, where Donna suits up. "Ah, Stevie! Late again, aren’t we?" She cheered with a smile spreading before looking at you. "And you must be y/n; welcome to the team. I hope you don’t cause any trouble or I’ll stuff you into a sarcophagus."
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Erm general questions
Fave food
Fave activities and why
Cuddler?
Scars? From what?
Type?
Favorite people
Type of humor
hi hello my bestie im gonna answer these for vicky bc he was on my mind
Fave food
vicky LOVES a good steak (he likes it cooked medium rare in case anyone asks), his mom would always make steaks on special occasions and so not only did it taste SUPER good to him but he always associated it w good times :) he has never tried to grill up som steak himself bc he knows it wont taste as good so he goes to nicer restaurants on special occasions to get some steak!
Fave activities and why
I feel like i barely ever talk abt it but vicky LOVES to sing and play guitar! its like the second part of his whole thing, he also collects records and in general loves to collect good sound systems to listen to music! hes always loved music ever since he was a kid and looked up alot to like singers and bands and stuff bc he saw that as like ... peak lifestyle, exactly what he wanted to be and do when he grew up... he tried to break out and become some kind of singer songwriter but nothing ever went through and when his daughter was born he basically gave up that dream but he still sings and all of that bc it makes him happy :)
Cuddler?
YES.... INTENSELY. his boyfriend gets his cuddles in FULL FORCE !!! hes very touchy and will sort of passively cuddle his bf when theyre just like . doin nothin. just standing next to each other he'll have his arms around him n stuff (note this does NOT happen in public places bc vicky HATES pda but in their own home and in private moments he is INSUFFERABLE) hes also very cuddly with his daughter! he would OFTEN fall asleep w her on his chest when she was littler c: shes also a cuddler bc of this ofc
Scars? From what?
oh boy does he have scars, i have a whole section on his ref sheet for his scars
(i put it in here twice so that the post doesnt KILL dashboards w how long it is lmao)
i also have alot of like explainations for some of em, the burns on his arm are from when he went to dispose of some evidence for a boss and was a BIT fucked up (drunk) and so he didnt notice there was some lighter fluid that got on him until he already lit the fuckin match (hes a lil dumb <3)
the scar that goes across his stomach and on his arm was when he was doing a hit and thought the person was dead but they WERENT they were tricking him so when he didnt expect it they could slash the fuck outta him and get away (he still ended up killing them in the end but it was a GOOD try <3)
his facial scar, his most noticable one since the rest he tends to cover with clothes, was from when he got fucked up on alot of stuff and went for a drive during the WORST period of his life (he had SEVERE depression man he was NOT doing well) and he ended up hitting a pole at like 100 mph and of course didnt have a seatbelt (this was in like the 60s so .) so he flew out the window and MIRACULOUSLY was not hurt outside of alot of bruises and small cuts along with a shard of glass getting stuck in his face as he skidded scross the pavement like a skipping stone (which is what caused the huge scar) he doesnt like people to ask about it bc he finds that part of his life embarrassing (guy doesnt like having emotions :/)
HI EDITING BC I REALIZED I MISSED THI s his missing pinky got cut off as a punishment from a boss he had <3 not much more developed than that as of rn
Type?
i am GUESSING u mean type in like dating partners... in which case ... i havent really thought abt it! i suppose he likes people that are different from him! smaller, got more meat on their bones, more thinkers rather than impulse type people like he is, also hairy-er people. he doesnt grow body hair and i imagine the first time he kissed his bf (who has a beard) he was like AHHHH OK . I GET IT. I LOVE THIS
mostly i think he also really loves people he can do things for... like people he can care for... hes terminally someone to has to be doing things for people (as long as he agrees w the things bc otherwise he wont!) his bf makes sure to give him stuff to take care of w him (he has chronic pain in one of his legs and used to just rub some pain reliever on himself but now he and vicky have a whole routine in the morning w it :) )
Favorite people
his boyfriend abel and his daughter rosa! they are his EVERYTHING.. like literally if he lost them he would PLUMMET back into the depression he had when his mom died but EVEN WORSE bc he prides himself on taking good care of his daughter, if he worries about her its all he can think about, rn in universe shes being held hostage for him to do a job and hes WORRIED SICK like she is ALL he is thinking abt rn :(
Type of humor
oh he would definitely be called problematic . i wouldnt say he has an offensive sense of humor but its for sure darker than usual, growing up as a bully who took quite a bit of joy in suffering will do that to ya :/
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Proven Wrong | KTH
Taehyung x reader
Words: 4k+
Genre: smut
Warnings: Rough Sex, Oral Sex, Fingerfucking, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Cunnilingus, Begging, Multiple Orgasms, Very Big Dick Tae, Like Scary Big, Like Gut Splitting Big, Unrealistic Sex, Belly Bulge, Bad Dirty Talk, Unprotected Sex, Gets A Little Dubious Consent Towards The End
Summary: You call his dick small. He proves that it’s not, by wrecking your pussy ;)
a/n: again i use to be lizardsocial. this was my most popular story on here so im bringing it back as well. i think you can find the original one on here somewhere. i don’t expect it to get half as many notes it did the first time but thas okai. i’ve edited kinda heavily so it's a little different from the original. its filthier. anywhos. Enjoy!
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Loud music blasted throughout your apartment, the rumbling bass from the speakers reverberated through your bedroom walls. Pictures and posters rippled with each vibration, struggling to retain their original position. You groaned in annoyance, you honestly thought your request was quite simple. Just a couple of hours. 120 minutes of quietness was all you asked for so that you could study for your upcoming calculus test. He knew how important this exam was to you. He evened 'pinky promise, cross your heart hope to die'. That he would give you the silence needed to stay focused. And everyone knew you don't break a pinky promise.
Even now in your annoyance, his voice still played on a constant loop in your head.
"Oh! Yea ___, not a problem. I can keep it quiet for you. So don't you worry a hair on your pretty little head!" Taehyung had said, waving his hand in the air feigning nonchalance.
That cute signature boxy smile of his planted face. You actually thought that for once he would keep his word, and you could get some precious studying time, but no. The tiny 2-bedroom shared apartment was full of heavy jazz music and high-pitched shrieking from what sounded like a cat being skinned alive. Who even listens to jazz music when trying to fuck?
The last thread of patience had now been pulled too thin and finally snapped. Your desire to study was gone with the wind, and in its place, irritability and wrath began to take root. You slammed your laptop closed and threw it to the end of the bed along with your papers and textbook. Jumping out of bed, you stomped your way out of the bedroom, eyes searching frantically for your target.
"Taehyung!" You yelled once you began to process the scene that was in front of you. The living room was in shambles, Taehyung's phone was hooked up to the speaker, the volume loud enough you swore angels in heaven could hear. An empty soda bottle, chip bags and clothes littered the floor. Don't even get you started on the couch pillows! Your one of a kind thrift finds were strewn all over the place. You felt your blood pressure rising, the vein at your temple fattening in rage and pulsing wildly. Your jaw threatening to ache from how hard you were grinding your teeth out of anger.
Your eyes investigated the vicinity for Taehyung and low and behold there he was on the now bare couch. Lying underneath him was the source of the vexatious screeches. He was dry humping on some random chick with his mouth fiercely attached to her neck, deep purple bruises vivid from where you stood across the room. You rolled your eyes at the pair. You knew damn well Taehyung's thin lips and weak thrusts didn't call for all that useless screaming.
You stomped over to the speaker, your sock padded feet slapping against the hardwood floor, and yanked the cord from the wall. Already the apartment was halfway quiet except for the banshee that was still squawking her head off.
"Hey! Shut the fuck up with all that noise!" You roared, scaring the girl and finally bringing their attention to your heated figure. Taehyung separated his lips from the girl's neck with a wet smack dislodging himself from between her spread thighs.
"Y/n, so nice of you to join us. How is studying going?" Taehyung spoke with a grin plastered on his handsome face. You resisted the urge to reach out and slap it off. He knew that you couldn't or anybody for a fact, could study with all the noise that was just previously filling the confines of the apartment. Yet here he was playing with the smidge of patience you had left by trying to simulate naiveté.
"All I asked was for you to be silent so that I could study for my upcoming test, and you said that you would. But instead, I am interrupted by your noisy ass music. Jazz music at that and this bitch here screaming at the top of her lungs!" You growled out between clenched teeth. The female gasped at your words embarrassment transforming her features, while Taehyung sat there with a blank look on his face, apparently unamused with your little rant.
"Oh my! Please excuse my rude roommate Mino. Obviously, her parents forgot to teach her basic manners. Let me walk you to the door." Taehyung spoke his fluffy curls swaying with the shakes of his head. A look of disappointment aimed your way as he began helping her gather her things and walking her to the front door.
"Umm, actually my name is Mina." She corrected Taehyung, but you could see it on his face that he could care less about the girl's name. Taehyung looked at her for a few seconds, as if he was processing the correct information of the girl's name.
"Yeah. Mona, that's what I said, isn't it?" Taehyung deadpanned, pushing her through the front door. Mina huffed at the fact that Taehyung continued to get her name wrong. You observed the pitiful interaction as you began to clean up the mess they made. You could tell from the look in Mina's eyes that she wanted more with Taehyung, but you knew that would never happen. Taehyung was a manwhore, a fuckboy, man thot, whatever the preferred term was. He had a new girl every night, and if he did try the whole "relationship smorgasbord" as he called it. The relationship usually didn't last for more than a week, before he was on to his next conquest.
"Tae?" You questioned meekly.
"Hmm?" He hummed head-turning slightly in your direction.
"Why do you do these things to me." You were genuinely curious as to why he made it his mission to push your every button. This wasn't the first time his action has hindered you from completing an important task. You just didn't understand why he chose to make your life more complicated than it already was.
"Awe is little __ j-jealous?" Taehyung taunted in a high-pitched voice used to entertain babies or puppies.
"Huh?!" You gasped choking on your saliva. Shit, you almost gave yourself whiplash with how fast you swung your neck to make full eye contact.
"Did you wish that was you, I was grinding on?" Taehyung continued to taunt as he walked into the kitchen to rinse his mouth out with water. That Mina girl had put way too much perfume on her neck. Now he was left with a sour aftertaste in his mouth. It tasted cheap, and Taehyung didn't do cheap.
If he was sincere with himself, he did wish it was you he was giving all his attention instead of these random girls. He considered you cute and innocent, with an air of sexiness. That he was pretty sure you weren't conscious of. In all actuality, Taehyung was smitten with you from the first time he saw when you came to ask about the roommate needed sign he had posted. The cute little freshman with a quirky personality and full of ambition. Those first 10 minutes of meeting you had him sprung like no other. You were way different from the usual girls he was used to. Which shouldn't be much of a surprise since most just wanted to fuck, have money spent on them. Oh! Of course, the bragging rights, that they actually got to fuck THE Kim Taehyung.
Don't get him wrong, there had been a countless amount of times he had tried to gain your attention. But you were too busy holed up in your room with your pretty little head stuck in a book to give him the time of day. So instead Taehyung reverted back to his middle school ways and chose to torment and irritating you as a way to receive some type of reaction from you. He would take whatever he could get, he was becoming that desperate.
"What exactly did I have to be jealous of? You do know she was faking it right? I didn't think you to be so naive Tae, because you and I both know that them thin ass lips-" You stopped to point at the box that made up his mouth. "And that speck in your pants that you call a dick can't make anyone scream." You declared assuredly, moving your pointer finger down to his crotch. Pride and confidence swelled in your chest at the insult thrown at him. 'Good one __'
Taehyung spat out the water he was swishing around in his mouth and whipped his head in your direction. Did you just stand there and try to insult his manhood? Nah, clearly his hearing had to be a little off, right?
"Excuse me, what did you just say? My ears must be failing me." Taehyung said wiping the stray droplets of water from his mouth, sticking a finger in his ear to loosen the imaginary earwax there. Amused, he sauntered towards you, a ghost of a smirk rising on his face.
"You heard me, Mr.Kim. Your micropenis couldn't pleasure anything but your hand if even that." You said backing up, as he prowled closer to you, his shoulder in a tense bunch raised close to his ears. Any amusement his face could have held was gone, in its place was a dark, unreadable expression. His mouth fixed in a firm line, and the tip of his ears blossomed red. Flames of anger and lust flashing in his chocolate eyes.
"My sweet __, nothing about me is little. I can guarantee that." Taehyung growled out, his already deep voice deepened in tone. You scoffed trying to portray indifference but continued backing away from his advancing until your back made contact with the wall. Shit.
Taehyung placed his hands beside your head, caging you in. Your eyes fluttered softly as you breathe in his rich cologne encased your senses, dark, woodsy with just a hit of a floral note. His eyes roamed your face, taking in your features before settling on your lips. You self-consciously licked them before tucking them between your teeth. Taehyung leaned his face closer to yours.
"Such a pretty little mouth you have. Has anyone told you how troublesome it could be though?" Taehyung questioned, his thumb on his left coming up to your upper lip.
You could feel your heart beating against your ribcage, feel your cheeks heat up, and dare you say; a gush of wetness in the seat of your boy shorts. The sexual tension was too powerful for your weak defences. Against your better judgment, you let your eyes flutter closed, and lips pucker expectantly anticipating the moment his lips would meet yours. Except Taehyung had other plans.
He shifted his head to the right, placing a gentle kiss on the lobe of your ear. Slowly moving his lips up to the outer shell of your ear.
You couldn't help the surprised moan that left your mouth as you unconsciously tilted your head back, offering your neck to his probing advances.
"Would you like me to prove you wrong?" Taehyung challenged in a whisper. His deep voice sending shocks of pleasure zinging down your spine. He trailed his lips down your neck, pressing gentle kisses against the surface. You had to choke back the moan that threatened to escape you at the feeling of his soft lips on your neck.
"N-no, Taehyung." You panted breathlessly.
"I don't feel like finding my glasses to look at something too small for the naked eye to see." You spoke, resolute on getting in one last insult. Taehyung pulled his face away from your neck, growling at your words.
"Haha, hilarious." He laughed humorously.
He pulled your body away from the wall, hoisted you up over his shoulder with a small grunt, and made his way to his bedroom. Kicking the door open before unceremoniously throwing you on his plush king-sized bed. 'Not good'.
Taehyung stood at the edge of the bed staring at you with unadulterated lust clouding his eyes. His chest heaved heavily with anger or arousal, you weren't sure. But based on the sizable tent in his pants, you could guess the latter.
"Taehyung! I already told you I don't want to see your baby-." You started but was cut off by Taehyung grabbing your ankles and pulling you roughly to the edge of the bed, pouncing on you. His lips met yours in a kiss that stole your breath away. The kiss was sensual and firm, but you could tell he was holding back.
Taehyung snaked his hand up your body, and into your hair, giving it a sharp tug. You gasped at the slight pain giving him a clear path to ease his tongue into your mouth, coiling itself around your own, deepening the kiss further. He thoroughly explored your mouth not leaving one surfaced untouched by his tongue, greedily swallowing your needy moans. Fuck he tasted good. Like oranges and burnt sugar.
Taehyung detached from your mouth to remove his shirt and to help you remove your tank top as-well. Your nipples pebbling from the chilly air and arousal. His eyes studied your body, you wanted so badly to shield yourself away from his unwavering stare.
"You're so beautiful. I've waited so long for this." Taehyung whispered before attacking your throat with kisses. You whined out in pleasure, your hips bucking up with every love bite he delivered, your body was aching in need for more.
"Tae. P-please more. G-give me m-more." You keened in between pants of air.
Your hips now undulated in tiny circles as Taehyung trailed his kisses down your neck, to your breast. He sucked and bit the soft skin around your nipple lightly. Soon his tongue gently wrapped around your nipple, sucking it into his warm mouth, while his hand teased the other breast, kneading and pinching your nipple. Your moans were increasing in volume, at his assault.
Your legs widened on their own accord, making more room for Taehyung. Your pussy was weeping profusely. The boy shorts you were wearing were thoroughly drenched, and with each movement of your hips, your arousal perfumed the air.
Releasing your nipple, he continued his way down your chest, moving his lips across your stomach. Down, down he goes until he's kissing you down to where your torso joins your pelvis. He trained his eyes on you, eager to see your reaction as he pulled your boy shorts off from your body with a wet smack.
"Tell me what you want love. Use your big girl voice for me." Taehyung cooed in a provoking tone. You would have told him to fuck off if it wasn't for his mouth hovering right over your clenching core, his hot breath attacking your pussy lips.
"Cat got your tongue? You sure did have a lot of things to say earlier." Taehyung teased once more. You moaned with each word he said, your hips thrusting upwards, hoping to find his mouth.
"Please! Just touch my pussy, lick it, do something! Stop teasing me!" You urged, bringing your hands up to stimulate your breast, you didn't know how much more teasing you could take. You could feel your essence seeping between your ass cheeks and coating the bed. The dull ache in your stomach was intensifying, and he had barely touched you.
"Mmm, well since you begged nicely." Taehyung replied, wasting no time in attacking your pussy. His broad tongue licked wide strips up against your pussy. Splitting your lips with the appendage with each pass to dip his tongue into your pulsating hole. Your hands found his soft brown hair as your back arched off the bed, pushing your cunt deeper into his face.
"Y-yeahfuck! Like that it's so good!" You whined slurring your words.
Taehyung shifted his probing muscle's attention to your clit, attacking it with kitten licks. You shouted loudly, as your thighs were beginning to shake. The coil in your stomach tightening almost painfully. He wrapped his strong arms around your thighs, your knees were hitched higher up almost touching your chest in this position.
But this way, he had much more leverage to devour you. The comforter on his bed bunching uncomfortably beneath your ass but at this moment you gave zero fucks. Taehyung had total control now, showing no remorse as your upper body thrashed about on the bed. Your hands were no longer able to reach his hair, so you opted for your own instead, pulling harshly on your roots.
"Fuck, Taehyung!" You wailed shrilly. Taehyung chuckled at the sounds you were making, remembering your words from earlier he couldn't wait to hear what you sounded like taking his dick.
He then rubbed two thick fingers in the abundance of fluids that your pussy was producing and gently eased them into your tight core.
"Not only is baby girl surprisingly noisy, but she's also pretty tight too." You clenched even more around his fingers, your wall throbbing wildly around them.
"I can't wait to feel you around my dick." Taehyung moaned sucking your clit into his mouth, delivering hard sucks as his fingers pumped into you at a moderate speed. Sadly, the introduction of his fingers was your undoing. You couldn't help as your legs stuck straight in the air. Body arching off the bed and bowed forward as your orgasm hit you like a freight train knocking the wind from your lungs.
Your eyes were shut tightly, and your mouth hung open in a silent scream as your body convulsed from the intensity of your orgasm. Taehyung had a hard time holding you down but continued his assault on your creaming pussy. He slurped as much of your cream as he could, absolutely addicted to the way you tasted.
"T-Tae, stop-p." You called out to him pathetically. Your intense orgasm had passed, but he was still thrusting shallowly inside your tight core, lapping at your clit. The oversensitivity was becoming too much, as you struggled to wiggle away from him. Taehyung withdrew his fingers and ceased his licking with one last kiss on your clit, making you flinch at the contact.
Taehyung beheld your fucked out appearance with pride. Your legs splayed open, displaying your spasming cunt. The way your chest was swiftly rising and falling as you struggled to catch your breath. Your hair stood up in every direction from your previous pulling, body trembling with aftershocks, and all he did was eat you out and finger you.
"Wow." You mumbled your eyes closing, sleep trying to claim you.
"Oh, nonono. I'm not done with you yet." Taehyung proclaimed, flipping you onto your stomach. He had to admit he was the hardest he had ever been in his life. His pants were now unbearably tight, and a wet spot at the crotch of his pants started to become visible. Taehyung tugged the offending material off hissing as his massive erection made contact with the air, free from being confined. You lifted yourself with jelly arms onto your knees, wanting to see what the commotion was behind you.
You choked on your spit for the second time today, as your eyes made contact with the angry red monster Taehyung called his cock. Not only was he unbelievably thick; a little bigger than your wrist, but he was also long. In his hands was the living definition of a third leg. He was crazy if he actually thought that would fit inside of you?
"Fuck that shit!" You cursed trying to scramble to the headboard of the bed, but Taehyung halted your escape, grabbing your ankles and yanking you back.
He would have laughed at your reaction, but he was too turned on, there was so much blood rushing to his cock he felt lightheaded. He wasted no time in putting you back in your previous position. Pulling your ass up so that it was sticking in the air and your torso was lying flat on the bed, his hands gripping your hips hard enough to bruise.
"Tae! Wait...you can't be serious!" You tried pleading with him terrified that thing he called his dick was going to tear you apart.
"Not so little am I baby?" He snickered
Don't worry, you can take it I'll go slow." Taehyung groaned his voice strained, his arousal was beginning to take a toll on him. Taehyung grabbed his shaft and brought the bulbous tip of his cock to rub against your clit. You mewled with pleasure, his tip was hot and the pre-come he was leaking added to the sensation of relaxing and reigniting your body.
Taehyung continued to stroke his tip along your clit thoroughly coating it with your thick fluids. He placed the thick head at your entrance, your juices helping him to slide in. He watched in amazement as your leftover cum gather around the head of his cock in a coating out creamy white. Your body tensed up at the massive intrusion, your cunt pulsated wildly around him, drawing a deep groan from his throat.
"Baby relax, you're squeezing so tight." Taehyung moaned out affected by your spasming core. He reached his hand underneath your body and strummed at your clit once again, coxing you to relax.
Taehyung took your distraction as his cue to shove the offending length inside your prone pussy. You squealed at the sudden fullness and intense burning. Bucking your hips, trying to dislodge him. It was too much to take, especially at this position. Your pussy was going to rip in half.
"B-bi-iig-g. To-o mu-ch." You whined out stuttering horribly.
Taehyung gripped your hips harder to stop your fitful twisting and bucking. He felt as though he was about to explode you were so damn tight and wet, your bucking didn't help his case any either. He didn't wait this long to finish early. He refused to be a one pump chump. Taehyung reached his hand back underneath your body to locate your clit, rubbing it in firm tight circles, to help relax you, and sure enough; like magic, after you adjusted to his massive size, your body was suddenly filled with mind-numbing pleasure. Your whimpers turned into loud groans as you threw your hips back onto Taehyung, giving him the okay to start moving.
"Hell yeah. That's it, baby girl work this tight little cunt on my cock." He grunts before he withdrew his length and slammed back in, his dick splitting your sensitive walls, hitting every spot inside your clenching cunt. His strokes were fast, broad, and powerful, never had you felt so full in your life. Your mouth was gaped open, as shrieks of pleasure fell from your jaws, drool dripped from your lips, and dots blurred your vision. You could feel him in your guts, branding himself inside you. The coil in your stomach was quickly tightening, ready to release what was no doubt, going to be the most intense orgasm your body was about to experience. Taehyung could feel your core tightening up further, your tight little pussy was far better than he could have expected, he wanted to punch himself for waiting this long to indulge in you.
"You're taking this big cock so well, baby. Such a good girl." Taehyung growled.
"But I have a secret to tell you." You shivered as he stopped mid-stroke. You felt the warmth and damp skin of his torso drape over your back. Like pudding in his hands. You didn't even flinch as he brought his large callused hands up through the part in your breast to wrap around your throat.
Ever so slightly he squeezed the sides of your neck, you felt him throb in your stomach as you clenched even tighter around him at the action. Slowly he lifted your head up with his hand still on your neck. Again he squeezed. Bringing his lips down to your ear, he said, "Would you believe me if I said you're only taking half of me in."
The way your jaw dropped and your eyes bugged out of your head would have been comical. If you weren't genuinely terrified, that is.
"O-nly half! That's impossible I swear your touch my small intestine already." You tried to look back to see if he was lying or not, but he tightened his hold on your neck, forcing your head back to look up at him. Your body was now bowed in an almost perfect 'C' shape. You felt his other hand snake around your abdomen and press on the bulge that was his cock poking through your stomach. Again he throbbed in excitement.
"You were talking such a big game earlier baby girl, what happened? Surely you could all of a dick that's as little as mine. Right?" Taehyung scolded in your ear.
Little by little, he began pulling you more on his cock by your neck. And fuck he really wasn't lying he really had more length to feed your cunt.
"Ta-ae, pleaseplease n-o more-e, I can't take it m-my stomach hurts." You whined
"Hmm? But you're so close to taking all of me in. Just a few more inches, and I'll be all in." He responded.
Not wasting any more time he released your neck, and before you could fall down to the bed. He locked his fingers in your hair and firmly yanked, lifting you off the mattress, and into his arms, allowing himself the rest of the way in.
You screamed out as his hips met your ass with a wet smack. The increase in pressure coupled with the new position broke the levee to your release. You trembled uncontrollably as your orgasm started from your toes. Quickly spreading to your arms and head before finally spreading throughout your whole body, you were rendered speechless as your orgasm claimed you. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, as a burst of white light flashed behind your eyes, incoherent sounds of what was supposed to be Taehyung's name filled the space around you.
Through it all Taehyung continued to fuck into you almost violently, allowing your cores convulsions to wash over him. His body dripped with sweat as he briefly picked up his speed, his hips beginning to stutter. He held your thrashing body close to his as delivered his last couple of thrusts before moaning loudly and exploding his hot seed inside of your wrecked cunt.
You both fell breathlessly on the mattress, sweat polishing your skin, exhaustion quickly making its way to claim you. Taehyung pulled slowly out of your battered and swollen pussy. On wobbly legs, walked to the restroom to get a washcloth to clean the mess that was between your thighs. You moaned at the textured touch of the cloth and the dampness of it soothing the hot burn from your pussy.
Your whole body was numb, and you were utterly worn out, so much so, that when Taehyung pulled you into his arms, you didn't even argue.
In the morning you will definitely be having a word with him. But for now, you let his racing heartbeat lull you to some much-needed sleep.
#bts smut#taehyung x reader#taehyung smut#bts v smut#bts taehyung x reader#bts taehyung smut#bts#bts fanfction#bts fanfic#smut#college au#bts e2l#bts oneshot#bts taehyung
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Through The Roof
Elfman x fem!reader
You didn’t know you’d run into another guild member on your mission, being a fairly new member and all, you wouldn’t have recognized him if it wasn’t for the guild mark on his neck.
The city was busy and bustling, it was Saturday morning and the market had just opened. You were here to find out the reason behind many missing persons in the city, the only fact you had to go on was that where the break-ins happened, a small wooden bird was found. You took the mission from the board and got here in a week, now you were investigating and asking questions in the town square, where the last incident happened.
As you stopped for lunch you were waiting in line at a food cart, looking out at the crowds of people, when you first spotted his silver hair, you had to double take when you saw the black mark on his neck that was a twin to your own. You stared for a few moments, admiring his strong arms and handsome face, wondering how he got his scar on his face, before you panic and gasp, turning quickly when you realize he’s walking your direction
Your heart was racing, the smell of fresh bread filling your senses when the door to the bakery opened. For some reason, when you thought about this handsome man realizing you were in the same guild, you felt shy. You didn't want him to know because then he would talk to you and you might embarrass yourself.
Your eyes focus on the window and on your reflection, you have on a white sleeveless tank top tucked into black tapered at the ankle cotton pants that are held up by a black ribbon. Your arms are out, your hands on your hips, the various scars looked even lighter against your skin which was darker from your travels.
You reach up to fix your hair and notice the man is now behind you, you make eye contact with his reflection and he smiles “y/n?” he asks and you turn around, smiling up at him, your heart hammering in your chest as you tried to seem like you weren’t incredibly nervous.
“I know by your mark that it’s you, I dont know why i asked.” the handsome man holds out his hand “Elfman Strauss, Maracov sent me, thought you might need some help since he got an update about the posting” you take his hand and shake firmly “it’s nice to meet you Elfman, what was the update?”
“The mission was moved up a few ranks, the birds belong to a dark guild that moved into the area, the only problem is if anyone finds the hideout, it immediately disappears” you sigh as you reach your turn at the food cart “isn’t that interesting then… well.. Can’t fight on an empty stomach. Are you hungry?” you ask, your worry about embarrassing yourself slowly ebbs away when his only answer is a shrug after his stomach growls incredibly loud. You double your order with a laugh. You pay and before he has a chance to even object you are already shoving his half into his hands. “Let’s sit and you can tell me about yourself so I know how we can fight together well”
After you finish your lunch you are both laughing so hard your sides hurt, he was so easy to get along with and so funny. You were put at ease so quickly after he made his first witty remark, you got through introductions and talked about how your magic worked, once you were done talking business he really opened up, being his true self with you.
“How about we split up to investigate and if we find anything we find the other before we attack? And if we don't find anything we will meet back up at the inn” he nods “i’ll follow your lead!” you laugh “you really shouldnt though, im a greenie, if you have a better idea please let me know so i can learn too” he nods “dont worry, it sounds like a good start. It’s what i was thinking” you beam up at him and his heart melts “cool, okay i’ll take the north side you take the south”
When you go to knock on the door of the last house your hand freezes in the middle of the air as the side of the building explodes out, you panic when you notice the body in the wreck is Elfman. Your stomach drops “are you okay?” you shout and he puts up a fist, his thumb up. “Found the hideout” he groans and you run around the rubble to his side “you said you’d come find me!” the group of people who appear through the smoke and duts, was obviously the wizards you were looking for, no mistaking the thick feeling of hatred and bloodlust that fills the air.
“He fell through the roof” a guy in the middle with blue spiky hair says, spit stuck in the corner of his mouth. Your body moves slowly, placing yourself between the group of evil wizards and Elfman “so you threw him through the wall? Makes sense” you say through gritted teeth “well he’s the only one to break through to our hideout, we had to show him a good time” a small spindly person to your right says while laughing.
Your hands balled into fists against Elfman's chest and you sigh, relaxing and then putting on a sweet face as you stand and look at the one you think is in charge, tall dark hair and a smug smirk. You lick your lips and look the man over as you saunter over to him “Maybe I could show you guys a good time now?” You purr up at him and press yourself against his chest, he almost believes you, for a split second he buys your act, until your hand touches his neck and you use an electricity spell to taser him.
The other group members yell as they go to attack you but before they can Elfman is in his beast form, throwing their bodies to the ground.
“You almost had me convinced there.” he says with a nervous laugh when he changes back, his shirt now in tatters. “I know we just met an all, but Elfman…” you look up from your spot, crouching and tying up the bad guys, to meet his eye with a smile “betrayal isn’t the game I play” you stand and walk over to where he is, rubble and unconscious bodies surrounding you.
You reach up and brush the rocks and dust from his hair, checking him over for injuries, before meeting his eye and placing your palm against his chest “but if you wanted to have a little fun,” you lean in closer and whisper “I wouldn’t object” you chuckle at his bushing cheeks and the way he stumbles of his words. You pat his chest and walk away, grabbing a bad guy by the ankle and pulling him along “can you get the others? Let’s go turn them in and then hit the baths I’m so ready to relax”
You finish bathing in the hot red waters, the giant statues were kind of unsettling but you just kept your eyes closed. You wrap yourself in one of the robes that were provided to you and the silk of the material made you sigh in comfort when it touched your skin.
When you exit the bath to head back to your room you run into a half dressed and still dirty Elfman. “Hey what’s going on?” You ask, a little worried. He looks embarrassed, his cheeks flushed under the streaks of dirt, he reaches and scratches his neck with a nervous laugh “there are no rooms left, I’m on my way to the-“ you reach into the pocket of your pants which were folded in your arms and place an extra key in his hand “stay with me!” You say with an excited smile and then you realize what it sounded like.
Your cheeks flush a dark red and you look down to where your hands are connected, the key between your palms. “In an innocent friendly we’re in the same guild way. Like I’m not trying to make a move. Not that I don’t want to! You’re gorgeous! But I don’t move this quick! I.. I.. oh god” you laugh “you can stay with me unless it makes you uncomfortable, of course. Your choice” you walk away then, your heart racing and your cheeks hot enough to cook on. You felt so stupid.
“She.. she thinks I’m gorgeous” he’s frozen to his spot as he looks at your key, he feels honored that such a great magician and beautiful woman is so nice and is sharing her room. He will not! Mess! This! Up!
He takes off towards the baths, excitement in his stomach and heart to have more time with you.
You get some food delivered to your room and Elfman makes it back just after it’s been delivered. “I hope you’re hungry” you smile and kneel by the table as he makes his way into the room. “Oh come on you bought me two meals, letting me stay in your room. I’ll pay you back, I swear” you laugh, the sound was music to his ears “please, don’t worry about it. I like to take care of people. It’s just what I do.” You pat the ground next to you and begin to plate some of the food, setting some on his plate as he kneels beside you “thank you” he says softly. You place your hand on his back, rubbing it back and forth for a second “you’re welcome, Elfman”
you eat in silence for a moment, too happy with the food in front of you to think about anything.
You hear a little laugh and you look up to find him watching you “what?” You ask, your cheeks beginning to flush. “Nothing. You just uh, dance when you eat. It reminds me of my sister” you move your legs to the side so you could face him “you have a sister?” You smile and he nods “two actually” he holds up two fingers and then takes a drink of water that was on the table.
“What are their names?” Your whole attention was on him now, your tummy full and your eyes looking over his profile
“Mirajane and Lisanna” he clears his throat and tells you the story of his sister’s death and you swipe away your tears as you listen quietly, you didn’t know them but you can feel the hurt.
“Now, “ he says, his voice quiet and solemn “i live for Lisanna, so she can live on in my heart” you reach up and gently cup his cheek, wiping away his tears with your thumb “you’re so strong Elfman, thank you for sharing your story with me” his hand covers yours on his cheek and you lean up on your knees, bringing you up taller than him so you can kiss his forehead “i’m glad you were safe today. And that you chose to stay” his arms snake around you, hugging you tight to his chest, he felt so connected to you it was like he’s known you for years, not just hours.
You stayed like that for who knows how long, two touch starved people finally getting a little taste of affection and not wanting to let it go. You lay your head on top of his, your hand carding through his hair above his ear as you just held each other.
He felt your hand relax and fall to his shoulder, heard your breathing even out and slow down before he felt your body grow limp. he took the initiative and gently pulled you into his arms bridal style, holding you close to him for a moment as he looked at your calm relaxed face, relishing in how sweet and pretty you looked, before standing and taking you to the bed.
You woke up before the sunrise and laid there, staring at the ceiling as you tried to remember how you got to your bed. You gasp softly and your head turns swiftly to the side, before rolling over and smiling wide at the sweet man sleeping next to you. You sigh and then lift his arm up, moving slowly to cuddle yourself into him “im so glad you stayed” you whispered and kissed his bare chest before his arm tightened against you, making you smile as you fall asleep again,
When you wake up again, you smile at the weight of him laying on top of you, his head on your chest and arms out on either side, his legs between yours. You chuckle softly and begin to run your fingers through his hair.
He gasps and wakes with a start, pushing himself on his hands and looking down at you, your hands paused in his hair and you smile “good morning” you say and he looks at you for a few seconds more before releasing his arms and laying back down against you, tilting his head into your neck as he whispered “good morning beautiful” he mumbles and then smiles when he watches your neck flush, he leans up to get a look at the blush on your cheeks as well.
“Want to go to breakfast before we head out?” you ask, beginning to play with his hair again. “That sounds really nice” he says with a soft sigh, the feeling of your soft hands in his hair was relaxing.
When you are ready to go you meet Elfmman by the door of the room and he looks nervous you chuckle softly “are you okay?” you ask and he nods before clearing his throat “i’m sorry if i made you uncomfortable by staying in your bed and not sleeping on the couch i-” you chuckle and place your hand on his chest, leaning up and kissing his cheek “i love that you stayed. I felt really special.” you run your hands down his chest and you kiss his guild tattoo on his neck softly before pulling back “are you ready to go home?” he nods with blushing cheeks and you smile “me too”
You talk easily on the trip home, sharing stories like old friends who could never grow apart. You stopped at inns to stay at or spent the night under the stars, sharing a room or having your bed rolls right beside each other. You grew closer to him over this week and by the time you returned to the city you were pretty sure you’d do anything for him.
When you saw the gates to the city you stopped to take in the view. You were a little worried about what would happen when you got back to the guild, what would happen for you and Elfman. Would you just be friends who once had a moment? Had one mission together? would you pretend it never happened?
He looks back at you and smiles as he waits, when you notice him you grin “do you want to go on a date with me?” you ask, straight to the point and his jaw drops “this is SO NOT MANLY! I was going to ask you out!!” he says a little bit flustered and you laugh at him, reaching and taking his hand as you walk again “so that’s a yes?” you ask and he clears his throat “yes it’s a yes. But i’m planning it, so i’ll pick you up tonight at sundown” you laugh and give his hand a squeeze “it’s a date” you say and his heart flutters at your sweet smile.
#elfman fairy tail#elfman strauss#elfman x reader#fairy tail x reader#elfman x you#ft elfman#elfman Strauss x you#I don’t know what this is. I’ve been obsessed with fairy tail recently
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Number One Fan
Steve Rogers x Reader
a/n: a commission for @crystalizedcaramel that I did a while ago and forgot to post, cause Im literally the worse.
Summary: Rule one of doing drunk karaoke - don’t let Nat record you.
There is a pounding going on in your head, a massive hangover that is most definitely a punishment for how much you drank the previous night. Stretching, you lift the blanket off your face and stare up at the ceiling, taking in deep breaths to wake your body up. It doesn’t help because you can feel a turning in your stomach, you burp, and it tastes like beer and hot wings. The girls and you had gone out for a night of winding down after several back to back missions, Steve and the fellas decided to stay behind to order pizza and watch some fight on pay per view. It was a wild night, not that you can remember, but the pounding headache is a clue as to how much fun you had.
Your stomach grumbles again and you fly out of bed, rushing to your bathroom, barely lifting the toilet seat in time – yea, you had a good night all right. After vomiting for nearly a full two minutes, you start a hot shower and begin to wash away last night’s sins – well the word sin is a bit dramatic, nothing sinful about letting loose with your friends. Now what was sinful is your lust for a certain leader of the Avengers with his nice hard rock biceps and crushing blue eyes, assertiveness in his voice but also the kindness when he puts down the shield and is just Steve Rogers.
Apparently, it is obvious, your crush on him, to everyone on the team but Steve himself. Natasha says it is the way you look at him, the fondness in your eyes even when he’s just talking about the morning news. She says it is sweet and that you should take the chance to tell the man how you feel but why do that? You value Steve’s friendship, he is the one you go to for nearly everything and can spend hours just talking. Sometimes he talks about his life before the crash, other times he comes to you for modern education – which really means you updating him on music and pop culture.
It is always nice and fun, and sometimes you notice this soft look on his face when he is speaking to you – one that you have yet to see him give to someone else and it makes you feel special. He makes you feel special and if you tell him how you feel, what if that all goes away?
That is what holds you back.
Getting out of the shower, you dry up and walk back into the room to get change. Twenty minutes later, you are cruising the halls to the kitchen for some coffee and breakfast. The smell of bacon and eggs welcomes you as you step into the kitchen; Sam and Natasha are at the helm of the stove, one at each burner. They look up in your direction at the same time and Sam laughs noting that you look like hell.
“I feel it too,” you say, taking a seat at the kitchen island. Looking to Nat you ask her if she’s hungover too. “You look unscathed.”
She shrugs. “I didn’t drink as much as you, in fact, no one at the entire bar drank as much as you.”
“How drunk was she?”
Rolling your eyes at Sam, you glance at Natasha innocently. “…yeah, how drunk was I?”
She grins but there is something off and a sinking feeling comes over you. She nudges Sam, calling out to FRIDAY. “Can you play the video I sent to Sam earlier?”
The A.I says of course, and you turn to the holo-screen above the kitchen table, it’s you on a small stage and suddenly it all comes back like a way – drunk karaoke.
Wanda, Maria, Nat and you are drinking, except you go overboard because you are heavily in your own feelings. People are singing and you down a shot before signing up for a turn, the girls cheer you on and Nat starts to record when you get on stage.
“Hey everybody!” Your words are slurry, but your stance is stable as you speak into the mic. “Soo…I wanna come up and sing for you guys -has, has anyone ever been in love?”
The crowd hoots and hollers.
“Yeah, so there’s this guy named Steve and I’m just completely in love with him but – but I’m a big chicken shit,” you laugh and shrug, nodding to the DJ to start the song. “This one’s for Steve.”
Everyone claps and shouts as you hold onto the standing mic; guitar chords play, and you smile. “Hold me close and tell me how you feel – tell me love is real…”
Your voice is lovely, always has been and you wish Steve was here to listen – he has never heard you sing and maybe if he did, he would fall in love with you. It was silly to think about but as you continue to sing the song, you close your eyes and think of him. Think of his beautiful face, boyish smile and his warm heart – how good it would feel to have him touch you.
“Words of love you whisper soft and true, darling, I love you.”
Natasha shouts your name and your eyes open; you smile. “Let me hear you say the words I long to hear, darling, when you’re near. Words of love you whisper soft and true – Steve, I love you…”a
The song ends and everyone applauds, a few whistles ring over the noise and the alcohol you have been consuming, fills you with warmth.
The video ends and you feel embarrassed but Sam whistles. “Damn, you got some pipes on you.”
You turn to Nat and Sam, frowning. “There is video evidence of me proclaiming my love for Steve through a song, and all you can say is I have a nice voice.”
He shrugs as he plates breakfast. “Yeah.”
“Well, thank you,” you mutter with a sigh. “I’m just glad you guys stayed in, the last thing I need is Steve seeing that performance.”
“Would that be such a terrible thing?” Natasha asks and you say yes, it would be a bad thing because Steve sees you as a friend. Her face perks up and she calls on FRIDAY. “Play the video for Steve, please. He’s in the gym.”
Your eyes wide in fear as you jump from the seat. “What the fuck, Nat!”
Sam laughs as you race out of the kitchen, shouting for FRIDAY to turn off the video. Not knowing if she is listening, you hurry to the gym apologizing to Wanda, who you bump into on the way. You are breathless as you turn the corner to the gym, but someone collides into you – a hard body and you shout in surprise.
“Shit!”
“Sorry,” Steve chuckles, holding onto your shoulders. He’s gorgeous, smiling as asks if you are okay.
“Not really. Did you – did you see the video?”
He smiles wide and nods. “I did.”
“Welp, I’m going to…” slowly you attempt to turn away, but Steve pulls you back, letting his hands fall onto your waist. Your heart is racing as he touches the side of your face and all you can do is whisper his name. “Steve, I…”
“I never wanted to say anything, didn’t want to ruin our friendship,” he explains, moving his body closer to yours. His hands feel warm against your cheek, it is everything you imagine. “I was willing to hold back my feelings if it meant I could keep you in my life but then I saw that video. You were really drunk.”
You laugh, nodding your head. “I was but I meant it all.”
Steve sighs in relief and moves his head closer to yours. He whispers, “Good, because you have to know, I love you too.”
Smiling, you close your eyes as his lips touch yours, and suddenly getting piss drunk and proclaiming your love for Steve through song in front of complete strangers was the greatest decision of your life. Of course, Natasha is going to get hers – showing Steve an embarrassing video of you but for now, as his lips move against yours, it’s all good.
His arms slip around your waist before breaking the kiss; he leans his forehead against yours and grins. “Why didn’t you tell me you had such an amazing singing voice?”
Laughing, you shrug and place both hands on his shoulder. “Come to karaoke next time so I won’t have to imagine you there.”
Steve blushes, but leans forward and kisses you on the forehead. “I’ll be your number one fan.”
Biting down on your lip, you struggle to contain the happiness you feel knowing your life has changed for the better – the man you love, loves you back.
Sighing with contentment, you look at Steve and beam. “And I’ll be yours.”
#steve rogers x reader#steve x reader#captain america x reader#captain america#steve rogers#marvel#marvel imagine#ivonnes imagine
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Hey how goes it! This is a ‘Death Becomes Her’ oneshot for Ernest Menville. I was happy to get this character suggestion because I love this movie. Bruce Willis😍👌🏼! So this takes place after he tries to regain his sanity and leaves Helen and Madeline behind. Hope you like it. Enjoy! NSFW!
Forget and Remember
“Ern.” I say softly and rub the man’s arm.
“Ernest.”
Nothing.
“Ernest!” His eyebrows start to furrow in...distress?
“ERNEST!” I shout just loud enough to get through to his sleeping state. He instantly springs up, glasses crooked and hair a mess.
“Huh?” He looks at me with wide yet tired eyes before adjusting his glasses.
“Everything okay?” He doesn’t usually fall asleep in his office unless he’s highly stressed about something or is in a restless mindset. He looks around before stretching his arms above his head. He cocks his head to the side and instantly grabs his neck. A low groan of pain escapes his lips.
“Mm, what time is it?” He adjusts his cardigan before standing up.
“Quarter past 10. I was gonna let you sleep for a bit longer but I figured I’d come check on you. You don’t normally sleep this late. Are you feeling alright?” I move my hands up to feel his face. His arms encircle my waist.
“Yeah I’m okay. I’m glad you woke me up when you did. I was having a ridiculous dream about them again. They were chasing me and threatening to hurt me if I didn’t stay and take care of them. Good God, can the memories of those two just go away? It’s farcical at this point!” He rests he chin on top of my head in defeat.
I wrap my arms around him and gently stroke his back. If there was a way to wipe his brain clean of the names Helen Sharp and Madeline Ashton then I would. Post traumatic stress comes in all different shapes and forms I’ve come to find.
“I know it’s hard to deal with the past stress they’ve caused. If I could fix it or take it away then I would.” I say in an attempt to ease his tension.
He just continues to rest against me - his thumbs making little circles against hips. After a moment of silence, he breaths in deep and releases a relaxed sigh.
“Doesn’t help to dwell on the matter when I have you to focus my attention on now.” He mutters above my head.
I pull back to smile at him before saying, “Come on, let’s get you some breakfast.” I lean up to peck his cheek and he follows me out to the kitchen.
~~~~
Ernest was broken in every sense of the word. He was only a shell of man when I first met him. I remember the day we met very clearly. I was on kind of a soul-searching trip of my own when I noticed him. Ern was seated by the elegant fireplace in the winter lodge we were both staying in. He wore a casual dress coat with slacks and a trapper hat - the flaps were pinned up exposing his ears. The chair he sat in was partially turned toward the window. He wasn’t focused on anything in particular as he stared out at the falling snow. I do, however, recall the forlorn expression in his eyes. That’s what drew me to him.
I had just finished unpacking my duffel bag in my room before coming to relax in the the upper lobby with my book. The whole resort was beautiful - tall cathedral ceilings with skylight windows. There were mahogany wood pillars with stone wall detailing, giving it that true rustic cabin feel.
I made my way over toward the rocking chairs by one of the fireplaces and took a seat. Pulling my knees to my chest, I gazed around the large room. There weren’t many people. Just the lady at the front desk speaking with a young couple, an older gentleman with his dog, and...him. When my eyes spotted him, like I said, I was instantly drawn in. He looked a little lost inside himself. I turned my head in an attempt to refocus but found myself looking back to him. It was like a gravitational pull. I started to wonder if everything was okay.
After a sigh and shake of my head, I began on the first page of my book. Anyone who knows me can tell you that whenever I start a book, I get lost. Try to ask me a question and you’ll most likely receive a low ‘mm’ or small noise of acknowledgement even though I have no idea what was said.
I continue reading, occasionally glancing at the man no more than fifty feet from me. Time starts to pass - hours possibly. The suns sinks lower. People are coming and going. But he’s still there - unmoved and unfazed by his surroundings. I peek over my book to steal a look only to notice his eyes are already on me. They quickly flick back towards the window. After a moment, he looks back to me, making eye contact. I lower the pages in my hand to deliver a small smile. Unexpectedly, he matches my expression only to look back outside. I pull my lips in and continue my story.
The sun is now completely set. I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with daylight savings time. I like that it gets dark because it gives me an excuse to wear pajamas and cuddle up in bed early but sometimes I like to have just a little more daylight to go out and do things.
About halfway into the novel, I decide to mark my place and close it up. I stretch my arms up and yawn. He’s looking again. I raise my eyebrows and make a face that says ‘hiii what do you want’ but in a playful manner. He smirks and again returns his gaze towards that damn window. I smile at him and wait to see what he’ll do next. ‘What an intriguing person,’ I think to myself. In an instant he whips his head my way, squinting his eyes to feign suspicion before slowly turning away. I then let out a giggle. ‘Looks like im going over there.’
I start over towards him. He starts to look a little nervous as he adjusts himself in his seat. “Well, if you’re gonna flirt with me then you might as well introduce yourself.” I joke, earning a slightly timid smile from him.
He clears his throat and says, “E-Ernest. My name’s Ernest.”
“Nice to meet you, Ernest. I’m (y/n).”
A moment of silence goes by before he stutters out, “Oh, uhm, why don’t sit down?” His hand gestures to the chair in front of him.
I sit down cross-legged and look to him. “What brings you here, Ernest? Hidden snowboarding talent?”
“Yeah sure, me?” He laughs. “No, It’s the serenity and scenery for me. What about you? Extreme skier?”
“Absolutely not. Same reasons as you actually.” I smile at him.
“Absolutely not? What about ice skating? That’s not too terribly hard.”
“I’d fall on my face or crack my head on the ice,” I purse my lips and add, “but i don’t fail at anything so I’d fall in style.”
He chuckles saying, “It’s not that difficult, but I don’t doubt that. You appear to be a very smooth person.”
“Smooth? This dork? Nu-uh, nope!”
“Ah come on, don’t be so hard on yourself.”
“You’ll believe it when you see it.” I say, rolling my eyes.
“Well you’ll just have to prove it to me sometime.” He laughs gently.
“Ernest! Are you asking me on a date? Calm down we only just started talking and now you’re making plans!” I fake a look of disgust before smiling.
“I..hah..uhm - well I..you are very beautiful.” He stumbles over his words and quickly looks away, taking off his hat. His fingers fiddle with fur on the inside.
I smile at him and give him a thank you.
“You’re welcome.” He’s looks down bashfully.
What a sweet, kind soul. He’s been hurt in the past, that much is evident. I watch the way his hand reaches up to stroke his face. His green eyes flicker around the room and land on me a couple times. With pursed lips, he lets out a soft sigh. “Sorry, I-I’m not really that exciting. I understand if you want to go back to your room or if you’d rather ME leave then I..”
“What? No! I want you stay. Of course I can’t stop you if you want to leave but I’d rather you stay.” I give him a reassuring smile. He doesn’t say anything but stares at me as if searching for any indication of dishonesty.
“Alright?”
“Okay.” I finally get a smile back.
We continue our small talk for a little while longer before I suggest getting a drink. He agrees and we head down to the bar room. This room is just as beautiful as the rest. We sit the farthest away from the other people in here. The live piano player strings out a beautiful melody.
A few beers and a couple of old-fashioneds later, he’s telling me stories of his life - his body becoming more animated as the alcohol sets in. I find myself thoroughly enjoying his company. We discuss topics ranging from music tastes to embarrassing childhood memories. I wasn’t expecting him to say that he’s a doctor.
“No way, a doctor in what?” I ask curiously.
“Well I was a surgeon early on. I then ‘downgraded’ by transferring over to mortuary practices. Not exactly the best conversation piece.” He laughs through his nose.
“No that’s really fascinating! Better than anything I’ve ever done. I never really had a ‘calling’ as one would say.”
“Yeah well I wouldn’t say doing these jobs were my calling per se but they pay the bills. Hence me being here, trying to find some sort of inner peace.” He says.
“I understand that completely. Same goes with me. So should I now refer to you as Dr. Ernest?”
He raises his eyebrows and tilts his head trying to look as pretentious as possible. “That’s Dr. MENVILLE, Ms. (y/n).” I snort a laugh at him.
“Well excuse me. That’s Ms. (Y/L/N) to you, Dr. Menville.” He laughs as well.
As another drink gets placed in front of me, Ernest walks his fingers towards the glass. He lightly pulls it his way. I flick his hand, shooing him away. That doesn’t stop him. Continuing his ministrations, I grab his hand and hold it down onto the bar as I down my drink. After I place my glass down, I realize my hand is still over his. He looks at them and flips them over, running the tips of his fingers along my palm. I eye his hand and then start a trail to his face. He’s already looking at me. My gaze floats up and down from his green orbs to his lips.
Not sure how or when, but we found ourselves crashing into one another in an attempt to walk down the hallway to his room. His fingers fumbled with the key to open the door. Once inside, I wasn’t expecting what he did, or rather said, next.
“(Y/n), may I kiss you?”
I wanted nothing more than to say ‘aww’ and hug him but desire was too heavy to ignore. I grinned instead and pulled him down to me, lips crashing together. This seemed to be enough encouragement for him seeing that I was pinned to the wall - hands running up and down my body. His mouth exploring quickly from my lips to my jaw and neck. I moan out, fingers delving into his hair.
Ernest picks me up, allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist. He places me down onto the bed and I can feel how aroused he is through the fabric of his pants. Our mouths connect once again as our tongues begin an endless dance.
“Are you sure about this? Absolutely certain?” He mumbles against my mouth. “I mean, if you’re not comfortable then I understand.”
“Yes, I’m positive. I trust you.”
He nods in return.
We shed our tops and as he starts to unbutton his pants, he stops dead in his tracks. “Shit.” He mutters. “I..uhm, don’t have any..uh..”
“It’s okay, I’m covered.” I groan out.
With that Ernest discards the rest of his clothes allowing me to see him fully. He’s not the biggest but he’s perfect for me and utterly handsome. He then pulls my jeans all the way off. I’m already wet and ready for him. His gaze doesn’t linger on me too long but the look of hunger and lust on his face doesn’t go unnoticed. His double take almost made me giggle. He pushes me up towards the top of the bed and climbs onto me. His hand guides his member into me softly and we moan out in unison. I yank his head down, our mouths connecting. God, does he feel good. It’s like his body was made for mine. We just fit together.
As his pace becomes sloppy I know that he’s close, as am I. My climax comes first as I yell his name and cling to him. He’s not far behind, following me into waves of pleasure.
After collapsing beside me, I cuddle up next to him. His arms hold me as if i might disappear. After a minute or two my breathing returns to normal.
“Ernest?” I question.
“Yes?”
“What just happened?”
“Well I just had sex with a beautiful lady who I already enjoy having in my arms. I can’t say the same for you, but I hope it was at least half decent.” I can hear the smile in his voice.
“Oh it was a little more than half decent, Dr. Menville. You know you’re stuck with me now, right?”
He wholeheartedly chuckles before saying, “I wouldn’t mind that, not one bit. But, of course, that means you’d be stuck with me.”
I push myself up to look at him. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” I state. He shrugs, giving me that same self-deprecating look from earlier. I kiss the look away and pull back to see a genuine smile plastered on his face.
I’m not sure if it’s the alcohol or if I’m already intoxicated by this man but I feel so content laying here with him...on him. I listen to the steady rhythm of his heart beat as it lulls me to a deep, tranquilizing sleep.
~~~~
I watch Ernest spread some grape jelly on his bagel and take a bite. His eyes scan over the Sunday paper as he enjoys his meal. I sit down across from him and lean onto one of my arms.
“Ern, do you remember the day we met?” I ask.
“How could I forget? I remember how much I drank to calm my nerves after we went to the bar.” His chest rumbles with a chuckle as he folds the paper in his hand in half. I smile sweetly at him.
“I remember everything about that day. That was probably the lowest point in my life. But when you sat down across from me, I could only stare at you in awe. I didn’t want to seem like a creep so every time you looked up, I would look away. You looked so beautiful....then of course you caught me gawking at you like a moron so I had to make a joke of the situation.”
“You had to throw in your Ernest charm.” I wink and smirk.
“Yeah well I’m glad I did now but in the moment all I could think was ‘shit shit shit shit she’s coming over here’. I could’ve been sick, that’s how nervous I was.” He laughs.
“I know, I could tell.” I giggle. “It was adorable though. I quite literally almost said ‘awe’ when you asked to kiss me in your room.”
“Well, I didn’t want you to change your mind once you realized it was possibly just the alcohol making you feel the way you did so I was cautious.” He shrugs. “That was a beautiful night nonetheless.”
“It very much was. I was thinking we should plan a trip up there again. Weekend getaway or something, it’d be nice.”
“Yeah, let’s go. We never did get to go ice skating - too busy with more...important matters.” He smirks and turns back to his paper.
#dr. menville#Ernest menville#death becomes her#madeline ashton#bruce willis#meryl streep#Goldie hawn#dr. menville x reader#Ernest menville x reader
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749
Have you ever had FOMO (fear of missing out)?
Sure, I’ll get it quite often cause there’s always so much going on.
If so, what's caused it?
The last time I got FOMO it was when Blanch and Andrew made plans to have a drink Friday evening a few months ago, but they invited me by the time I was already home for at least a couple of hours. Fortunately for me the hangout never pushed through that day haha.
Are you happy with your social life?
I’m a lot happier with it given how dismal it used to be. I’ve since reconnected with some high school friends like Ciamae and my relationships with my orgmate friends are stronger than ever.
If not, what would you have to do to change that?
Have you ever hosted a party? If so, what kind of party was it?
No. I don’t want to bear that responsibility lol I feel like I’d be awful at planning it and that I’d turn out to be a lousy host. I’d rather go to someone else’s party.
What's the best thing you can cook yourself?
Meh, don’t remind me of my nonexistent cooking skills.
Are there a lot of graffiti around your neighbourhood?
No. It’s a gated subdivision, so not only is that not allowed, but the people living here probably aren’t into graffiti either. They’ll be pretty common once exiting the main gate of the village, though.
What kind of a phone do you have?
iPhone 8.
What kinds of stuff do you have on your keychain?
I only have the keys to my car and front door. I used to have a rainbow Mickey Mouse that Gabie got for me as well as a UP keychain thingy, but both of them fell off at some point so I stopped including non-key things on my keychain because I was really sad about losing those trinkets.
Have you ever made something with your own hands that you're proud of?
Yeah. I forgot which province that was in – I think it was Vigan? – but they had a pottery factory that we visited and I was able to make my own small vase. I wasn’t able to take it home because they said firing it would take a couple of days, so I only have a photo of my work as a souvenir.
If so, what is it?
^ I’m pretty sure I already posted a photo of that vase on one of my surveys; I just don’t know if this is also the exact survey I answered before lol.
What is your favourite Jack Lemmon film?
I haven’t watched any of his work. I’ve always wanted to see The Apartment though.
What is your favourite David Hyde Pierce film?
Unfamiliar name so I had to look him up...andddd after Google I’ve learned I haven’t watched any of his work. A bit of an impressive portfolio though.
Have you ever made your own soda? (Soda Stream doesn't count!)
No.
Do you have a hobby that forces you out of the house? If so, what is it?
I don’t feel forced out of the house by it lol but I do love going to museums and trying out new restaurants and what food they have to offer. It’s not as demanding as having Pokemon Go as a hobby as I like doing either on my own time.
Have you ever been part of a theater group?
No.
If so, did you get any lead roles or mostly supporting roles?
Which IM app do you use the most?
Messenger. For a brief period during the quarantine my friends and I gave Telegram a shot since they also have games in there, but that only lasted like two weeks since the game bots were too wonky.
What's the most ecological thing you do?
I think it would be segregating my trash. I’ve forgotten most of the things my old school taught me but that’ll forever stay etched in my head, and I’m really grateful that my university also has separate trash bins to allow me to continue the practice, because so many other public areas don’t. My former music teacher, Ms. Ettie, also taught us to ‘save the polar bears.’ It’s essentially lessening your paper consumption by always folding your notebook leaves in half, but she’s always used ‘saving the polar bears’ with us both as an easy way for us to remember, and because it’s a cute way to put it.
What's your favourite board game? Why do you like it best?
I don’t really like playing lots of board games and I don’t get to encounter them much either. I always end up having a hard time following any of them – especially the new ones that seem to have much more rules :/ – and board games are too expensive these days anyway.
Besides English, what other languages can you speak?
Filipino.
Besides English, what other languages can you read?
Filipino. I’ve also been learning Spanish on Duolingo, but I’m still very rusty and despite being familiar with many words and phrases it’s still hard for me to read complete sentences altogether.
Do you think you could make it as a chef?
No, the kitchen and I have never been friends. This has baffled me for a long time because both sides of my family are known for their cooking, and my own dad is a chef. I dunno what happened to me or my siblings or cousins lol.
What's your favourite kind of tea?
Unhealthy, sweet, artificial/powdered iced tea. I also like the tea they give out at fancy hotels that are hot, thick, and almost taste like nothing since they make me feel fancy hahaha but I don’t get to have them a lot, so.
How do you like your tea?
^ Just the first one I mentioned. I’m not much of a tea girl so the powdered iced teas are already enough for me.
What thing/person/happening has made you the happiest you've been?
There’s been many things that have made me extremely happy but I suppose I haven’t been as happy as the time I passed my dream school and the time I asked Gab out again and she said yes.
Girls, do you ever just say "Fuck it!" and go without a bra?
Yes. It’s hardly noticeable whether I’m wearing a bra or not because my chest is really tiny, and in fact it looks even more unnatural when I wear a bra because all of them are just too big for me, even the ones with the smallest cup sizes. Because of that I can alllllllways get away without wearing a bra in school and no one would bat an eye.
What's the most freeing thing you've ever done?
So far it’s been driving out of town by myself.
Have you ever had a restaurant dish that was made with bugs?
Unfortunately no. They had bug dishes in Vigan but the menu said their availability would depend on if they’re in season, and unfortunately we were there at a time when they had no bug dishes and I had to settle with the next most exotic thing they had, frog legs. The next place I wanna get to try bugs in is definitely Thailand.
If not, would you even want to try one?
Yup, I just said I do.
Do you think today's kids are really impatient?
In the same way that adults are. A lot of kids are exposed to the internet now, so I suppose they’re influenced to be impatient a lot quicker what with the possibility of their videos buffering, websites loading slowly, and other factors like those. But then again I don’t know if I’m making sense; I haven’t had to handle and observe a young kid in years.
Have you ever tasted birch sap?
Nope.
How about the young buds/shoots of spruce trees?
I haven’t.
Which edible flowers have you tasted?
I don’t think I’ve tried any of them? And answering no to the last three questions has made me realize how inexperienced of a foodie I still am haha.
What has been your worst restaurant experience?
I can think of three but there were always external reasons as to why they were bad.
Mad Mark’s was really bad and we had to follow-up so many times for each of our meals AND our check, but I’m not as resentful towards them since one of the seemingly only two servers present was pregnant.
Barcino’s service was also quite awful and we waited an hour for our food, but we forgave them since it was Valentine’s and the place was ridiculously busy.
Probably the worst experience comes from a family dinner at Shakey’s, but only because it was my parents’ fault. I had no problem at all with the service but I think my mom and dad just decided to be extraordinarily snippy that evening and criticize every single thing our server – and eventually, the manager – did. It was really embarrassing and I remember spontaneously crying out of frustration at their childish behavior lol. We ended up walking out with my mom sneering “your service sucks” to the manager and me giving him an apologetic look. It was so brutally embarrassing, eugh.
What's the most immature, adolescent thing that still makes you laugh?
Probably Pewdiepie jokes.
Have you ever had a life threatening condition? If so, what was it?
Nope.
Do you ever compare your life to somebody else's? If so, why?
Eh, it’s something we can’t help but do sometimes.
What is a food item or a dish you absolutely cannot stand?
Fruitcake or food for the gods.
Have you ever had a custom print done on a shirt? If so, what was it?
Not me personally, but I’ve ordered t-shirts with custom prints back in high school for our events.
What does your favourite mug look like?
I really only have one mug and I’ve described it so many times on here, so I just looked for it on Google this time and this is what it looks like. The design turns blue when the beverage inside is hot, and it gradually fades back to black as it cools down.
Do you ever copy surveys to Facebook Notes and share your answers?
Mmm nope. I’ve only taken surveys and posted them on my Tumblr.
What's the best thing about today?
I found out Keeping Up with the Kardashians is coming to Netflix by June and I CANNOOOOOOOT be any more excited for it haha.
Do you ever read other people's survey answers?
Yes, always. Everyone I follow on here writes very well and it’s always interesting to read their answers :)
Do you like daytime or night time better? Why?
Nighttime. I don’t really like the sun and I’ve found the nightlife more suitable to my personality, interests, vibe, etc.
What's your highest level of education so far?
I’m taking up an undergraduate degree but I’m supposed to be graduating this year. The schedule is still wonky due to coronavirus, but I have hope in graduating. I still 130% don’t know if I will be taking up law but I’ve had family and friends lightly nagging me to try taking law school entrance exams in 2021.
If you could have any job in the whole world, which would you like?
A travel blogger/vlogger.
Describe your ordinary day.
Back when life was still...normal, I’d drive 1-1.5 hours before my first class so I can beat the traffic, but usually I’d still end up in bad traffic because that’s Metro Manila for you. What I would do on my free time depends; if my schedule was freer I’d go to Skywalk to hang with friends, but sometimes I’ll have errands to run like printing something at the internet cafe. I have nearly-daily meetings in the afternoon so I’ll have to go to those too; and then 1-2 times a week I’ll drive to Ortigas so I can see my girlfriend. It was a very hectic schedule and I miss it a lot.
Would you ever have a UV tattoo?
A what now?
What is the brand and colour name of your favourite lipstick?
I don’t have one.
What do you like on your tortilla?
Just whatever goes on a fajita. I don’t really have tortillas much.
How about inside your pita bread?
^ All the same, just whatever goes in a shawarma as it’s one of my favorite food.
What do you like in your burger?
I answered this in a previous survey but I wouldn’t hesitate to order a burger if a menu says it has caramelized onions, brioche buns, and some kind of secret special sauce because that always makes me curious haha. I’ll sometimes go for bacon, jalapeño, or eggs too, but not always.
How about on your pizza?
I only ever order quattro formaggi; I never have the heart to order anything else as it’s my favorite variety of pizza heh.
Would you ever take part in a games club?
Probs not as it’s not really my hobby.
If so, what would be your ideal club?
I dunno, this question is quite vague haha. I suppose if there’s an club or org that bands together people who love history, debates about it, or likes watching documentaries on different history topics, I’d jump on it.
Would you be able to give a speech on your favourite subject right now?
Sure. We used to have several impromptu speech exercises in my public speaking class and no matter how much I dreaded each of them I always did quite well, so I got convinced that I must have some sort of talent or skill in it that I never got to discover until I had that class.
Do you work better alone or in a group?
Depends on what needs to be done. If there’s a video that needs to be done or a poster that has to be made, I’d be much more comfortable if I was in a group cause then someone else could take over those tasks.
Are you more comfortable as a leader or a follower?
It also depends. If I like the topic or task we’re given, I have no problem leading the group.
Which one of your friends have you known the longest? For how long?
Angela, 15 years.
What is your favourite song right now at this very moment?
It’s a local song called Sino by Unique Salonga. It’s not a recent song anymore, but I came across a fan video of Unique performing it in a gig and just fell in love with it all over again.
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Growing Pains: I Miss You
A collection inspired by Adele’s album 25
Order: 1) When We Were Young 3)River Lea 4)Send My Love (To Your New Lover)
WARNING: Language, some soft smut (rare i know lol)
gif originally posted by @vanillalattaes
A/N: Although its not required, i would recommend reading this series in the order i release them as im doing it in a sort of star wars fashion lol. It won’t affect you storyline wise though if you choose to read this one first (: enjoy my lovlies
The room felt as suffocatingly tense as it was quiet. The only reprieve from the silence being a small cough or the frustrated tapping of a pencil once in a while. Desperately, you willed yourself to ignore it, eyes determined to remain on your page, as though staring at the blank space was going to will the answer to simply appear. Why the fuck did I listen to the counsellor and take this course? Your pupils flitted over the question again, as though you had expected to find some hint to the answer. I wanted a publishing internship, not a crash course on how music affects literature!
Exactly one month ago, on this very day, you signed over your sanity by signing up for this Theory and Analysis class. To be fair, you didn't think that examining a few notes and a poem here and there would be too hard. In fact, you’d even called it a cake walk. Boy, oh boy, were you ever wrong. The knowledge that you would have been able to get the internship was in the back of your mind; you were a good student with a strong GPA. Yet, you still wanted something to give you even the slightest edge over your competitors, which is when the school course advisor suggested this. You had agreed at the time. After all, so many authors now were also musicians, so it could give you a connection or even an insight to their work that perhaps other interns might not have. Now, you wholeheartedly regretted that decision.
Sighing, you slumped into your chair which made a loud squeak. Heads whipped in your direction, icy glares making you sink lower, mouthing a silent ‘sorry.’ Once your peers turned back around you sighed once more, rubbing your fingertips into the temples of your skull, making it look to anyone who glanced at you like you were meditating in your seat. C’mon, Y/N, an internal peptalk starting in your head, You’re not gonna let this ruin your GPA. Schumann, Schumann, Schumann… or was it Schubert? Motherfu-- You could feel your forehead wrinkling in concentration, when a small snicker snapped you out of your trance. Knowing exactly who it came from, your eyes squinted at Taehyung, who was in the desk beside you, menacingly. Lifting your hand, you raised your most favourite finger at the moment, Taehyung only grinning at you like a child in response before turning back to his own test. Rolling your eyes, you were about to do the same, when your vision was halted on a head of black hair just past Taehyung.
You didn't know him personally, only through mutual friends. Honestly, you’d never even really spoken to him. You only knew what you heard, which was a fair amount. His name was Min Yoongi. He was a music major, but you didn't really know whether he composed or played. That wasn’t really what the other girls liked to discuss. The seemingly much more interesting topic was his love life. Yoongi was good looking, it was no secret. There was something so interesting about his sharp features and cat-like eyes. Even you had to admit it, staring at his face from three desks down like the creepiest person in existence. But he was also known to dine and dash, so to speak. There were a good amount of girls who claimed to have slept with him, but never had anyone seen him actually with someone beyond one night, so it was widely disputed whether they ever actually had slept together. However, there was one detail that remained the same with every girl; he never contacted or even spoke to any of them after. Looking at him now, you didn't really think someone like him could be that cruel. Someone who was close with your new-found friend, Taehyung, could never be. Taehyung was one of the most kind hearted people you’d ever met, despite the teasing.
Normally, these sorts of traits were a bit of a turn off for you; most guys who falled into the category he was described as all ended up being the same. And ultimately boring. You’d played that game before and had long since grown tired of it. Yet as you scanned his profile, you mused that maybe you wouldn’t mind dealing yourself in once more to relieve pent up stress, if nothing else.
Taehyung knew him personally, so you knew it would only be a matter of time before you were introduced. Placing your head in your palm, your rested your elbow on your desk. Distantly, you wondered what kind of person he would actually turn out to be. His fingers deftly swiped his pencil back and forth on his paper. You couldn’t read exactly what he wrote, but you were surprised at how full his page his was, only infringing a slight amount of guilt on you for neglecting your own test. Watching, you admired how nimble, yet thin his hands were. Long fingers gripped the pencil strong enough that the veins in his hand could be seen, when suddenly they stopped their movements. Your eyes traveled back up his frame, only to meet his own curious ones. Immediately you snatched your gaze away, your head practically flying out of your palm in sheer panic. Reaching your fingers out to grab your own pencil far too hastily, it clattered to the floor deafeningly. Heads all turning back to you, each person seemed to be sending you telepathic prayers that your would just mysteriously disappear for disturbing them once more. The floor was the only thing you could safely look at as your cheeks flushed red and you dived for your pencil. Retrieving it you immediately hid your tomato face behind your hands with your elbows on the desk and stared down at your paper with more focus than ever. Unable to look, you could hear the other students turning back around in their seats resentfully as you shook your head at your own embarrassment. Such. An. Idiot.
“So, Yoongi said something to me the other day.” The coffee in your mouth suddenly tasted bitter despite the disgusting amount of sugar and caramel syrup in it.
Struggling to avoid spitting the liquid all over the pavement as you walked beside Taehyung, you attempted to compose yourself though the incident from last week surged to the forefront of your mind. Humiliation resurfacing and panic setting in because there was absolutely no way in hell Taehyung would ever let you live this down. Patting your chest and then sticking out your tongue as though the drink had burned your tongue after you swallowed. When you finally replied, your voice was thick with the attempt to feign innocence. “Oh? About?”
“You.” Your heart felt like it was falling through the floor.
“Really? What did he say?” You replied, despite knowing you were most likely caught and were about to face a face full of ridicule that would last until graduation in 4 years.
“He kinda just asked who you were, seeing as we’ve been attached at the hip since orientation.” A glimmer of hope shined on the horizon. “To be honest, I thought he was gonna ask if you had some sort of condition because of all the drool pouring out of your mouth last week.”
And there it went. “You saw?!”
“Pretty sure the whole class did, Y/N.” He simpered when you batted him with your free arm.
“Ass,” you muttered into the lid of your coffee.
“It’s okay if you have a crush on him. He’s a good guy, for the most part.” Taehyung commented, his last addition perking your interest. What does that mean? “Besides, I maybe, sorta, have a little thing for your friend…”
“Haerin?” You looked at him, puzzled seeing as they’d met all of one time and it was very brief. Sheepishly, he shook his head and it dawned on you, pausing mid step on the sidewalk. “Wait, Luna?!”
Rolling his eyes, he didn’t slow his pace, forcing you to jog forward to keep up once the initial shock wore off.
“You do know she’s head over heels for her boyfriend, right?” He nodded, a scowl on his face. “And that they’ve been together for nearly two years?”
“Yes, Y/N.” His voice was slightly aggravated. “It’s a crush. It’s not like i'm going to propose.”
A twinge of unease poked at your stomach as you realized you weren't exactly being supportive. “I just don’t want you to be disappointed when nothing comes from it, Tae.”
The corner of his mouth turned upwards and he patted your shoulder. “Don’t worry, I know there's not really a chance of anything happening.” His grin grew in size, mischief brewing beneath his irises. “You, on the other hand, have some hope. Which would be why I invited Yoongi to the library with us.”
Once again, you halted in your steps, mortified at what your friend had done. “You did what?!”
“Would you stop doing that?” Taking two steps back, he gripped your arm and pulled you forward. “For one, you’re going to spill coffee all over yourself. Second, he’s waiting for us.”
“I hate you.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He giggled as he let his grip on your arm go.
“Seriously, Tae.” You whined. “I don’t think this is a good idea. I’m going home.”
“No, you aren’t.” He shook his head. “He’s already seen you.”
Snapping your eyes in the direction which Taehyung was now waving, you spotted him. Leaning against the railing of the steps to the old campus library, he looked cosy. Bundled in a gray scarf and a long, black, tweed coat, you could see a tinge of rouge powdering his nose from the chill October air. Pulling a hand out of his pocket, he gave a wave back before delving the limb back into his pocket in search of warmth. His face is a little puffy in the morning, you remarked. Cute. Eyes twitched over to you, a new flush of red dusting your own cheeks at being caught staring once again. Averting your eyes to the tops of your shoes, a weird pulling sensation made your insides squirm.
Steeling your nerves, you did your best to at least appear composed as the gap between you and Yoongi dwindled. By the time you reached him, your internal panic levels had reduced a little, though you still felt like bolting in the opposite direction to avoid the imminent awkwardness. Playing with the lid of your coffee, your shoes scuffed to a stop once Taehyung did the same. Letting your eyes drift upward, it came as a surprise to find him being the one staring for a change, though he made no move to conceal it. You did your best to read him, but it was to no avail, his face remaining as stoic as ever. It was Taehyung who was the first to speak, a knowing grin on his face as he drew the pair of your’s attention away from one another. “Y/N, this is Yoongi.”
A self-conscious smile flashed across your lips as you murmured a short, “Hey.”
“Hey,” Yoongi’s sultry tone took you off guard; you didn’t expect someone like him to have such a deep, raspy voice.
“You look tired.” Taehyung interjected.
Yoongi scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, I was up a little late last night.”
“Aw shit I forgot, your project was due this morning right?” Taehyung replied apologetically, to which his friend nodded. “You didn’t have to come! We could’ve done this later.”
“No, that’s okay.” His dark irises fluttered to you briefly. “I wanted to.”
“Right.” Taehyung smirked, brushing past Yoongi to the steps that lead to the library. “Let’s go then.”
Following behind, you walked up the steps to the door, Yoongi taking up the rear. Taehyung didn’t bother to hold the door for you, forcing you to reach out to catch it with a flash of annoyance. “Hey!”
Taehyung snickered as people immediately shushed you, a blush fanning across your cheeks for letting him goad you. Whispering under your breath, you commented on your friends child like antics, “Dick.”
A breathless laugh came from behind you. Sneaking a glance back, Yoongi’s eyes were reduced to slivers, his cheeks higher from hiding a grin in the depths of his scarf. Weaving through the library, you did your best to quell the butterflies fluttering in your stomach. Your efforts not doing much as frustration took hold at how he’d barely even said a word, but somehow made you feel like you were back in highschool, pining for some guy. Never one to fall fast, it was odd for you to feel this nervous around a guy. You weren't a stranger to hookups, but a part of you wondered if it was just because it had been a little while.
Brushing the thoughts away, you focus on not hitting one of the various tables as Taehyung led you into one of the group study rooms where talking was permitted. Yoongi was the last to enter, closing the door softly behind him. Setting your half-empty drink on the table, you shrugged your backpack off along with your jacket. Thank god, you’d decided that your comfiest sweatpants and sweater were a bit too musky to wear in public. Settling into your chair, you unloaded your books as Taehyung sat across from you and placed his things on the chair beside him, leaving the one beside you the only chair left for Yoongi to take. He didn’t seem at all fazed though, barely batting an eye at Taehyung's obviousness as he took up the place beside you. Taking off his coat and scarf, he opted to keep the beanie on, which you didn’t mind at all as he looked like a walking-talking advertisement for it. His black hair poked out the front and sides, a glimmer of an earring catching your eye. Shaking your head you averted your gaze to your book, forcing yourself to read the text. I’m starting to understand why these girls rave about him….
“Y/N?” Taehyung snapped you out of your reverie, “you aren’t going to study our theory class?”
“No. I’ve been studying that all week.” You replied, defeated. “I’m pretty sure that my head is actually going to explode if I do.”
“Fair,” Taehyung chuckled. “I just thought maybe you’d wanna ask Yoongi for some help seeing as how great your last test went.”
Quirking your head, you said, “I’m sure he has his own stuff too; I don't wanna unload on anyone--”
“He got 93 percent on the test.”
Your head immediately turned to the side, mouth slightly agape. You never knew he got such good grades; it wasn’t exactly something people talked about. He looked a little unnerved by your reaction, “I don’t mind--”
“Please.” You cut him off, nearly facepalming at your lack of tact. “I mean, if you don’t mind, could you please help me? Only if you have the time though. Again, I don’t wanna cause you any trouble--”
“Y/N,” The sound of your name leaving his lips made your stomach flip. “It’s no bother; it helps me study it too.”
The sun had just began to descend when Taehyung had left the two of you to your own devices, though you didn't really notice. On the exterior, Yoongi seemed like a gruff sort of person, but as he started teaching you, you found out that wasn't at all the case. He went through notes and old tests so patiently with you, never complaining when you got a question wrong even if it was the fourth time you’d been over it. Not once. Gentle fingers glided over the pages of your old text book, showing you references and dates while keeping the page open until he was sure you understood. As you studied, you realized that he wasn’t just taking a course because society expected him to; he was passionate about music.
The proximity between you had eventually began to close as your timidness wore off and you felt more comfortable with him. Your bodies now only centimeters apart. He was close enough that you could smell his cologne and his arm would sometimes brush against yours, sending a tingle up your spine. Doing your best to focus, you only snuck glances at him when he was reading from the textbook. There were smaller things you’d noticed about him now; his tendency to fiddle with his pencil, the miniscule freckle just to the right of his nose, and the way his lips settled into a pout whenever he rested his features. An urge to know more about him lingered, the study session only fueling your intrigue instead of burning it out as it usually did when you met a guy like this. As time wore on, excitement still gurgled inside you but guilt couldn’t help but convolute your heart. This entire time he’d only been helping you instead of studying his own things.
“I’m sorry,” You apologized after getting a question wrong, noting that the clock on the wall read 5 pm. “We can stop now.”
Yoongi quirked his head, “Why?”
“I’ve taken up your whole day.” You sighed.
“I told you I didn’t mind.”
“Yeah, i know...” you trailed off, still unsatisfied. A silence ensued as you cursed your own selfishness and began to pack your things back up while Yoongi remained still.
“Treat me, then.” His comment made you pause.
“What?”
“If you feel that bad,” He reasoned, following your actions and packing up before sending you a grin, “go to dinner with me.”
Your eyes grew wide at the suggestion, heat flaring up inside you. Gathering your bearings, you did your best to appear unaffected though from the way Yoongi smirked, you knew it was already too late. “Is this your way of asking me out on a date?”
“No,” he replied teasingly, “i’m pretty sure I only asked you to treat me.”
Your face dropped into a frown. Hoisting your backpack up, you brushed past him to the door of the group study room muttering, “I can see why you and Taehyung are friends now.”
A throaty chuckle sounded behind you and you couldn’t help the corners of your mouth from upturning ever so slightly.
“You're joking right?” Digging your chin into your jacket, your eyes danced over neon lights, flashing from every direction. The street was crowded, which made sense considering the time. Some people rushed through, while others doddled along gazing at each sign as they passed various vendors. The unmistakable scent of food wafted toward you, making your mouth salivate. “You could have picked an actual restaurant; i’m not that cheap.”
“I never said you were. I happen to love street food, thanks.” Yoongi grinned at you, scarf muffling his words a little. Like many others, his catlike eyes scanned each stall, a playful expression on his face as he lurched down the road. “Besides, if we went to a restaurant people might mistake this as a date and think im an ass for not paying.”
“When are you going to stop teasing me about that?!” You elbowed him in the side, the redness in your cheeks only accentuating your pout as you muttered, “Any girl would make the same mistake.”
A small laugh left his lips, making your stomach flutter, “C’mon.”
A gust of wind brushed your back, sending a chill down your spine. “Are you sure you don't want to go to a restaurant?”
“Positive,” He immediately responded, his face brightening when he found the stall he’d been looking for. “They have all my favourites here.”
“But, it’s cold out here.” You whined.
A look of realization crossed his features, his eyes scanning your figure which was nearly folding in on itself to contain some warmth. Placing a hand on your arm to stop you, he replied, “Wait here for a sec.”
Confused, you watched as he turned his back on you and headed down one of the various streets. Standing awkwardly on the pavement, you itched to follow him, but obeyed anyway. Pulling your hands together in front of your mouth, you breathed into them. A split second of bliss graced them before disappearing, leaving you to rub them against one another vigorously to try and keep a fraction of that warmth. So focused on your task, you almost didn’t notice when he reappeared in front of you, his hand full of something you couldn't quite make out. The palms of your hands stopped their rubbing motions as his hand grabbed yours and pulled it toward him. Placing a squishy package in your hand, he reached into his pocket to pull out another as warmth bloomed in your palm. Cracking the pack, he handed the other one over, “Put those ones in your shoes.”
It was then that you realized you’d been staring at him, dumbfounded. Snapping yourself out of it, you nodded numbly. Crouching, you lifted the tongue of each sneaker, shoving the hot packs in one by one. Wiggling your toes, you relished in the warmth before rising up to your feet. While you’d been doing what you were told, Yoongi pulled two more out and burst the bubble in each. Slender fingers grabbed your hands, placing the packs in your palms before curling them over yours to make your hand into a fist. Taking hold of your wrists, he pushed your hands into your pockets while you stood like a mannequin, letting him control you. Reaching up, he unraveled his scarf from around his neck, the bottom half of his face revealing itself. Zipping up his coat to the top, he gently curled his scarf around your neck, the pads of his fingers brushing against your skin faintly. Eyes studying the fabris, he only ceasing his fiddling with his when he was happy with how it encased you.
“Yoongi,” you began to protest, only for him to cut your words short.
“Better?”
Nodding in response, you bit your lip hesitantly, “But what about you?’
“Don’t worry, Y/N. I’ll be fine.” Again at the mention of your name, your heart seemed to press forward against your ribs, only swelling when he gave you a reassuring smile that made his eyes crinkle. “Let's go eat.”
Though you hated to admit it, you were thankful to Taehyung. After that night of eating and talking about random things, Yoongi started to become someone you saw frequently in your life. It would be a little bold to call you friends, but more accurate to say you were a smidge more than study buddies. Pulling out textbooks and going through notes together became a weekly thing, sometimes more depending on how much work you had. Just the same as the first time, Yoongi was patient with you. After a few weeks, he even started to ask you questions to about classes he found more difficult even if it wasn't something you took either. He claimed he just needed a different perspective, which you were eager to provide seeing as your mark in the class you shared had gone up by a whopping 10 percent since he’d begun helping you. You found it regretful though that you couldn't be of more help. It’d been two months since the two of you started hanging around each other and though you were happy to have him around, you couldn't help but feel frustrated.
The more time you spent with him, the more you ached to know him on a deeper level. You weren't new to relationships, but you'd never really been this curious about someone. Time would slow when you weren’t with him, a yearning to be in his presence gradually growing until he took up most of your thoughts. Daydreams danced in your head about whether he was a good kisser, if he’d turn out like every other guy you’d eventually grown bored with, and what kind of person he was under his guarded exterior. If you were honest, you felt pathetic that you were in college and some guy who had never even kissed you, let alone touch you in a way that wasn't an accidental brush of the skin, had this effect on you. But you also craved to learn what it would feel like if he did.
Somewhere among your studying and coffee runs, you’d made it your goal to satiate your curiosity. You didn’t aim so high as to date, just to hook up at least once. However, only disappointment greeted you. Not once had he ever made a move to touch you. Occasionally there were flirtatious jabs, but never anything more. Eventually, you started to wonder if maybe you just weren’t his type and the girls who seemed to hover and whisper all around you were.
Whenever you were with the man, hushed voices followed. You knew what they were wondering; why was he hanging out with you so much? Were you dating? What made you so different? Sometimes you’d chuckle, earning a confused glance from Yoongi which you’d always brush off. Other times you’d find yourself moping because they were far from the truth. Right now, it was the latter.
“Did you see that chick who left Yoongi's dorm yesterday morning?” Jimin, one of Taehyungs friends, questioned your circle of friends sitting at a table in the cafeteria.
“No,” Taehyung replied, quickly trying to divert the conversation to spare you while Luna and Haerin snuck worried glances your way, “where is he and Namjoon anyway?”
Jimin shrugged, “Yoongi sent me a text at 4 this morning so Namjoon is probably trying to wake him up.”
“Do you mean that girl who was sitting on the curb?” Jungkook piped up, earning a glare from Taehyung whose efforts were thwarted, though he didn't seem to notice.
“Sitting on the curb?” Jin asked.
“Yeah,” Jungkook nodded, shoveling the last few pieces of a pancake into his mouth, “I think she was waiting for a cab.”
“Yeah that one,” Jimin nodded while Jin muttered about how rude it was to make her wait outside, “do you think he’d mind if I asked for her number?”
“Does he ever?” Taehyung huffed, discreetly placing a comforting hand on your own, which you’d absentmindedly curled into a ball, under the table. Taking a breath and shoving the fruit on your plate around, you implored yourself to relax. Why do I even care? I’m just a person he studies with.
“That’s true,” Jimin nodded. “She was really hot though.”
“Do you really have to talk about this with us here?” Luna barked from beside you, annoyance making her eyebrows bunch.
Jimin glanced at her sheepishly and scratched the back of his head. “Sorry, I just didn’t think it was a problem seeing as we have before.”
“It’s annoying.” She was relentless. “It’s not like I gab about my latest conquests.”
“Bullshit,” Taehyung quickly rebuked, his hand becoming tighter on yours, “you constantly talk about your boyfriend.”
Luna’s mouth dropped. “That’s different!”
“It’s not.”
“Yes, it is!”
Bickering ensued from each side of you, causing you to slump in your chair, rolling your eyes. Ignoring the war raging on, Jungkook nodded his head toward the door, speaking directly to jimin, “If you still want to, here’s your chance.”
Instantly your eyes shifted to the direction he motioned to, spotting a groggy Yoongi shuffling behind Namjoon like a zombie. Panic and dread consumed you. All you wanted to do was disappear, embarrassed at how much you’d lusted over someone who clearly wasn't interested. Before his irises could meet yours, you stood from your chair. The abruptness of your movement made the chair squeal as it skid against the floor, drawing the tables attention to you.
“I forgot something in my dorm.” You muttered quietly, pivoting on your heel to rush through the door on the other side of the room, opposite from the one Yoongi had arrived in.
“Wait, Y/N!” Haerin exclaimed, rising from her own seat with a worried expression.
“Yeah, we’ll come!” Luna chimed in, her spat with Taehyung forgotten.
You didn’t slow for them, focused on reaching the hallway before the green monster hiding out on your back was discovered by the one person who was the source of it. You cursed yourself over and over again in your head. This feeling of being at someone else's mercy was something you loathed. It was something every person would experience at least once in their life; you knew this. But it didn’t make it any easier when it happened. Feeling small and insecure, the insults directed to yourself spewed from your brain. You’d thought you’d grown past this and had learnt to not fall too deep before anything had ever even happened. Apparently you had been wrong.
The tapping of two pairs of feet caught up with you. Luna remarked once her and Haerin were by your side, “What assholes.”
“They didn’t do anything.” You replied before letting out a sigh. “I didn’t want him to see me is all. I feel so stupid.”
“Y/N,” Haerin frowned, “you can’t help liking someone.”
“I know.” You agreed. “I just don’t understand why it upset me and I hate that i’m mad when I literally have no reason to be. It’s not like we even had a thing, y’know? I just carried on one sidedly and got ahead of myself.”
The girls stayed silent by your side, nodding while Luna patted your shoulder. They didn't defend you because in all honesty, you really had just gotten ahead of yourself. “It’s okay to just really want someones dick sometimes.”
“Luna!” Haerin chided while you burst into a laugh, breaking the solemn atmosphere.
“What? Its true and she hasn’t had any lately.” Luna reasoned, putting her chin in her hand like she was thinking. “Maybe it was just that he’s hot and you’re horny and y’know, pheromones and stuff.”
“That is true.” You quirked your head contemplatively.
“I have an idea!” Haerin interjected. “That guy with the long hair and is really annoying said his frat house is having a party tonight.”
“I forgot about that!” Luna exclaimed excitedly. “Lets go get drunk, forget about Yongle or whatever,” you couldn’t help but snort, “and maybe even land you a guy for the night to work out all this frustration!”
“Well?” Haerin looked at you optimistically. Right after she’d mentioned getting drunk you knew you’d go, but you played it like you weren’t sure. A hopeful silence paused the conversation for a moment, before a grin stretched across your lips and you nodded. The girls by your side nearly shouted with enthusiasm, hooking their arms with yours while you giggled and outsiders rolled their eyes at your groups antics.
The day seemed to drag, as it always did. However, today it was almost like someone had hit rewind, each time you looked at the clock feeling like a punch in the gut. All you wanted was to go home, beat your face, and get drunk with the people who loved you. As time ticked away, you did start to feel better. You credited this to Luna’s explanation. After all, your initial attraction to Yoongi, who you avidly avoided for the remainder of the day, was purely physical. Granted, you had grown interested in him, but it wasn’t like you were in love. Looking back at the days you’d spent in his company, your mind analyzed every second, coming up with reasons why your body reacted to him or why your mind became goo. In short, you chalked it up as lust, telling yourself that you would’ve felt the same way with any attractive guy with how long it’d been since you’d been intimate with a person. By the time the clock struck half past 3, you’d successfully convinced yourself that Yoongi hadn’t actually upset you, your hormones had.
Feeling confident again, there was a spring in your step as you trotted down the halls. Outfit choices and makeup selections swiped through your thoughts, anticipation bubbling as you thought about the night to come. All your musings clouded your senses. So much so, you didn’t notice when Taehyung waltzed up beside you and threaded his arm through yours.
“Holy shit!” A squeal erupted from your lips, your free hand coming to clutch your chest.
“Hi,” Taehyung grinned, not bothering to conceal his satisfaction with startling you.
“You scared the crap out of me, Tae.” Loosening the hold on your chest, you punched him on the arm, though a good natured smile coated your mouth.
“Sorry, sorry,” He apologized, though you knew from the giggles that he didn’t mean it in the slightest. “What are you doing tonight? Wanna grab a bite and see a horror movie?”
“Tempting,” The hand you hit him with rested on his forearm, giving him a little squeeze of appreciation. Without saying anything, you knew he was worried about you. This morning you knew he’d felt guilty about what had happened from the seven messages he’d sent asking you if you were alright. Even though you’d reassured him every time, his actions were a testament to the kind of friend he was to you. He refused to cease his pestering until he was positive that there wasn’t a hint of sadness lingering inside your heart. “I can’t though. I’m going to a party in that one frat house on the corner.”
“You are?” He feigned vexation. “Why wasn’t I invited?!”
A shrug from you jostled your knotted arms, “I just hadn’t seen you yet.”
“Well, I’m coming. I won't breathe a word to He Who Shall Not Be Named.” He reassured you and drew his vacant arm up to draw a cross over his heart. “Scouts honor.”
Snorting at his reference, you shook your head indifferently, “It’s fine. I don’t care if he’s there.”
Taehyungs eyes became slivers, lips forming an ‘n’ from his skepticism. “Yeah, okay.”
Laughing at his distorted face, you rebutted, “I honestly don’t!”
“Alright,” he acknowledged, though the suspicion he exuded didn’t fade.
Opening the exit doors, you shivered and let your grasp on your friend slacken as you prepared to head your separate ways. Starting on the path to your respective home, you walked backwards so you still faced Taehyung. “Come to my dorm at nine-ish, okay? We’ll sneak you in to pregame.”
Instead of replying, he merely shot you a thumbs up and a smile, zipping up his coat to the top and jogging off down the sidewalk. Turning around, you shoved your hands in your pockets, the memory of that first night with Yoongi flashing in your mind briefly before you forced it back into the vault of things you would rather ignore. Sighing wistfully, you carried yourself down the path, your previous daydreams coming back to life as the cold air nipped at you through your jacket.
The party was like any other frat party you’d been to; cramped, loud, and vaguely smelling like something that had been left out to rot. You didn't mind much though, the alcohol in your bloodstream making all that seem somehow pleasant. Your vision was slightly blurred, though you were very much coherent. The taste of smoke lingered in your mouth even after you took a swig of your drink, head bobbing to the music while musing about everything and nothing.
As promised, Taehyung had joined in on the fun. Accompanying the three of you and declaring himself your honorary bodyguard of the night after he was a few beers in. However, you knew he wouldn’t be a very good one seeing as though he tried his best, his attention always seemed to swerve off in the direction of Luna. He meant well, but he was a flirty guy and she was what he liked. You could see them on the other side of the room, leaning against the wall, Taehyung grinning like he’d won a prize as Luna tossed her head back as she laughed. A small smile graced your lips. They’re cute.
Haerin was still by your side though, a slightly sour look on her face because ‘she already has a boyfriend and this is supposed to be girls night, so what the fuck?’ You had patted her shoulder sympathetically when you heard the stinging in her words and muttered a short reassurance that it was okay. Watching the dynamic play out, worry tugged at your mind, knowing that something more was going on and that you should probably address it. But fuck it. You were the one who was supposed to be comforted tonight for your brief and bizarre lapse in judgement. The weird love triangle wait for another day.
After successfully drawing her attention away from your two best friends, the two of you knocked cups, vowing to find a good lay for the night and downing the burning liquid. Since then, the pair of you milled about, giggling to each other as you scouted for candidates. Bouncing around, there were a few guys who interested you, stopping to chat and lay down some ground work to give yourself options as everyone did in college. However, even as you smiled sweetly and laughed at their mediocre jokes, your mind always seemed to revert to the fact that they weren't who you really wanted. And yet, you trudged on, giving out sly touches and coy glances all the while ignoring the nagging sensation burning at the back of your brain.
“I have to go to the washroom.” Haerin leaned in close to tell you after a while. Shuffling to the stairs, you assured her that you’d be fine waiting on the main level for her, not wanting to fight your way through the throngs of people unnecessarily.
And so, here you were. Back against the wall with the rim of your cup touching your bottom lip, you fiddled with the hem of your long sleeve crop top that you’d paired with a faux suede skirt despite the chilly weather. Taking a moment for yourself, you noted that Taehyung and Luna weren’t where they had been before. Tugging out your phone that you’d tucked into the pocket of your oversized jean jacket for safekeeping, you shot Taehyung a quick text asking where he was and letting him know where you were. Storing your phone back away, you glanced up the stairs as it had been a little while. Wondering what was taking so long, you shifted your weight from foot to foot impatiently. A few minutes passed. Then another few. And another. When you were nearing the 20 minute mark and the end of your rope, you heaved a sigh, coming to the conclusion that she’d either met someone or had been dragged off by someone else. Resigning yourself to having to play mom and find her, you were just about to start your search when you heard a familiar voice rasp, “hey.”
All the warmth that had accumulated in you seemed to seep out of every pore, your eyes growing wide as you swiveled your head toward the intruder. Drooping, ink eyes captured your, a telltale glaze across them that made him look spaced out though he was looking right at you. You gave him a once over, his black jeans sticking close to him while his grey shirt and plaid combo did the opposite. Clearing your throat a little, your eyes raked back up to his, your indifferent facade cracking when you spotted a knowing smirk on his lips. Moving the plastic cup away from your mouth, you spoke as you always did to him,“hey.”
“You ran away this morning.” He stated.
“Ah,” a blush touched your cheeks, “I forgot my notebook in my dorm.”
He nodded but his features displayed something akin to disappointment, stepping closer when someone grazed his back. “You seemed like you were in a hurry.”
You could smell the lingering scent of beer wafting toward you when he spoke, “I didn’t want to be late.”
He quirked a brow, never being one to fall for someone's bullshit. “Y/N, you’re late everyday.”
“Am not,” you quipped back though the corner of your mouth betrayed you by curling upward. “I didn’t know you kept a record of my attendance.”
He chuckled lowly, “I don’t, but it’s hard not to notice when Taehyung seems to vibrate like a puppy when you come in.”
A laugh tumbled out of you at that, the mental image appearing behind your eyes. Yoongi grinned back, a hand coming out to rest on your lower back, tugging you closer as someone tried to get by the two of you. The giggling died down as his hand felt like it was scorching through your jacket. Your chests were only a small distance away now and you found yourself absentmindedly leaning in closer to his warmth. That tug in your chest roaring to life and inching you closer. Eyes meeting his, the smile he’d worn had dissipated into a line. He didn’t remove his hand completely, but instead let it drift to the hem of your skirt. Skin skimmed your thigh as he fingered the fabric, his expression one you’d never seen him with before, but tantalizing all the same. A flash of pink wet his lip, voice low when he spoke, “You look good.”
“Thanks.” A current of titillation shocked your core, rendering yourself unable to say anything more than that. Dark irises fluttered between your lips and eyes, the distance between you carving away. However, as soon as he leaned down just enough to grant you vision behind him, you spotted Jimin talking to some blonde in the corner. Immediately the anticipation that was threatening to boil over, died down into a faint ripple. Before you could catch yourself, you muttered, “You really are good, aren’t you?”
Halting, Yoongi’s brow furrowed in confusion. Straightening, he looked lost as he replied, “good at what?”
But you never got to reply, a voice interrupting you, “Min Yoongi!”
Recognizing the deep tone which belonged to Taehyung, the pair of you shot apart, your skin mourning when Yoongi's no longer graced yours. Yoongi put on an impressively bored face, looking behind you at your sloppy friend who trudged over to throw an arm over you. “What?”
“Ugh,” you winced, attempting to shove Taehyungs hand off your shoulder. “Tae, you reek of booze.”
“Sorry, some guy spilled a full beer on me,” he gazed down at you apologetically, before sharpening his eyes and glaring at Yoongi, making you want to shrink and hide. “Don’t you have somewhere else to be?”
“Me?” Yoongi asked, bewildered. “No? Why would I?”
It was silent for a second as Taehyung glowered at him. “Well, whatever. You’re not allowed to hang out with Y/N today. So sorry. Go hang out with that chick from the other night.”
Yoongi’s head cocked to the side, “Who?”
“You know who!” Taehyung exclaimed, drunkenly pushing a finger into his friends chest. Yoongi glanced at you for help, but all you could do was stare down at the ground mortified. In any other situation, you probably would’ve keeled over laughing at Taehyung’s grandpa act. Now? Not so much. I’m going to kill him. “The one Jimin wanted to know about this morning. Go hang with her, Y/N is mine tonight.”
“Taehyung!” Smacked him in the chest at his suggestive words. “Can you not say it like that?!”
Taehyungs bottom lip jutted out, pouting while Yoongi started to put pieces together. “Wait, you mean that one?”
He pointed at the girl Jimin was with.
“Yeah! Jimin wouldn’t shut up about her all morning, saying how hot she was and that he had to ask you for her number and blah, blah, blah.” With each new word that Taehyung spat out, the more you wished you could just run away, praying that Yoongi wouldn’t connect the dots.
“Tae, where is Luna?” You asked, trying to make an escape route before it went any further.
“I left her on the porch because I saw you and Yoongi through the window. Why?”
“Is that why you avoided me today?” It was like someone dumped ice on you, your jaw clenching and your eyes catching Yoongi’s, realization shining in their depths.
“Of course it’s not,” Taehyung replied, inadvertently outing you. “Idiot--”
“Taehyung!” The sound of Lunas garbled speech rang in your ears. Turning to the sound of her voice, she stumbled toward your group, bumping into almost every person.
“Oh, Christ.” You muttered.
“I forgot to say,” Taehyung murmured beside you, “She’s kinda really drunk.”
“No shit.” You replied, catching Lunas arm as she neared you and dragging her toward you.
“Y/N!” She grinned while swaying in your grasp, untroubled by her own level of intoxication. Yawning once, she rubbed her eyes and slurred, “What time is it?”
“It’s late,” You lied; it was only 1 am. “Wanna go?”
She nodded while Taehyung let go of you to swing her arm over his shoulder for support, his hand gripping her waist tightly to keep her steady. “I’ll take her outside.”
“Okay,” you replied, moving her hair out of her face and resisting the overwhelming urge to take a picture as her head lolled back. “I’ll find Haerin, but don’t leave without me, okay?”
Taehyung nodded, his own drunken stupor seeming to have worn off a bit due to the situation. Surging forward, you watched as Taehyung did his best to usher her toward the door. Luna wasn’t a big help though, stopping every few seconds to talk to someone and telling Taehyung to slow down. Yoongi's hand encasing your wrist diverted your attention away.
Oh yeah, the conversation you’d been having, or rather he and Taehyung had been having, coming back to mind, that. Dread consumed you, glancing at him unwillingly. He jutted his chin toward the staircase. “Come with me for a minute.”
He didn't seem to notice the reluctance in your voice when you responded, “Okay.”
Tugging, he lead you through the crowd, cutting a path for you as he weaved. Most people parted for him on the staircase as he guided you up, glancing back to make sure you were okay every few seconds. However, a few grumbled in annoyance when he bumped shoulders with them or interrupted a couple from more intimate activities. As always, he paid no mind to other people's opinions and simply put on his icy stance that he used with most anyone who was a stranger. Not rude, but more apathetic. Reaching the top, he took you down the hallway. He didn’t stop at the first few doors, but instead waited until you neared the back of the large house to start jiggling handles and peeking inside rooms for occupants. Once he found an empty one, he pulled you inside, closing the door and latching the lock.
Letting go of your wrist, you smoothed the palms of your hands on your skirt. Much to your own dismay, he still made you giddy, something each guy downstairs had failed to do. You found yourself tracking his movements and studying them so closely that your resolution that he was just some guy you wanted to fool around with wavered. Clasping your digits together in front of you, you tried to slow your pounding heart, hoping Yoongi wouldn't notice how tense you were. The room was quiet, only the muffled sounds of the party filling the silence.
“I never took you as the jealous type.” A vivid shade of red dusted your cheeks at his words.
“I’m not.” You replied, refusing to let yourself slip and put yourself in a vulnerable position.
Yoongi stepped toward you, gently reaching out to tuck away a stray strand of hair behind your ear before shoving his hands in his pockets. Locking eyes, you struggled to tell what he was thinking, which you assumed was something about you completely and utterly embarrassing yourself in front of him multiple times. “So, that’s not why you left the table this morning a half hour before class started?”
“I told you I forgot my notebook.” It was apparent that your excuse wasn’t going to appease him this time around by the tired look he gave you. Sighing, you crossed your arms and admitted a portion of the truth, “I also didn’t want to hear about your new notch. Satisfied?”
“A little.” He shrugged, a small triumphant grin adorning his lips. “Although, you probably should’ve stuck around.”
“What do you mean?” You replied, a little annoyed by how cryptic he was being, wishing that he would just be blunt like he usually was.
“If you’d stayed, you’d know that I never slept with her.” He explained. “Namjoon did.”
“Oh,” was all you could say, though a heavy sense of relief that you didn’t quite understand made you feel warm. Before you knew it, a smile crept up on your lips. You tried to quell it at soon as you’d noticed by biting the inside of your cheek.
“Satisfied?” He repeated after you.
Peering at him sheepishly through your lashes, you nodded. You did your best not to quake from the way he glanced down at you, a little smug. The wall you usually encountered was no longer present, like he was choosing to allow you even the smallest access. The unabashed lust in his irises set you at ease, knowing he felt even a fraction of the attraction that you did. Distantly, you pondered whether this was all apart of his deck of cards, though you couldn’t really bring yourself to care. If it was, it was a damn good card and you weren't a sore loser. At least, not right now. Feeling foolhardy from your previous actions, you couldn’t help but spill the truth now, if anything just to explain why you’d acted so rash, “you know, I’m usually not like this.”
“Like what?” He said lowly as you unfolded your arms and reached out to grab hold of the edges of his plaid shirt.
“This shaken up by someone,” feeling a little more calm now from talking about how you were feeling as you fiddled with the fabric, you steeled yourself and took the first step as you edged him closer. “There’s something about you that makes me so annoyingly interested in you. Usually, I’m much more of a casual person about this stuff and not quite so--”
“Jealous?” He smirked.
“No, I don’t like that word.” You scrunched your nose, bodies just about touching while Yoongi let you drag him in, hands still in his pockets. “More like… eager.”
“That’s too bad.” He rasped.
“Why is that?” His hand slid out of his right pocket to toy with the band of your skirt.
“I liked watching you act like you didn’t care.”
“Why? You like it when girls act cold to you?” You teased.
“No,” he grinned devilishly, making your core tighten. “It just means I can have more fun with you.”
Your breathing was heavy with need, as he hooked a surprisingly cold finger into the band he’d been playing with and coaxed you forward to close whatever remained of the gap between you. Lips pillowed yours in a short kiss before coming back for more. His hand slowly creeping to your back, one finger still underneath the fabric of your skirt. Pecks became fervent, gradually getting longer and longer in duration. Frustration started to build up as he moved away whenever you thought you were going to get more. Eventually, you couldn’t stand it anymore, reaching up and grasping the collar of his shirt with one hand while the other encased the side of his neck, wrenching him down to you. The rumble of a laugh tickled your lips as he slid out his other hand from his pocket and let it join the other. Electricity seemed to dance through your body, lighting you up with pleasure when his tongue finally swiped along your bottom lip. You were quick to grant him access as a hand slid lower on your body to caress the top of your butt cheek. Keening when his tongue met yours in a play for power, you wound your digits into his hair. Soft strands fluttered against your skin. The hand on your ass inched lower, squeezing hard in time with the motions of your mouths and pressing you against his groin. Fingers tightened their hold on his hair in response, making him grunt. He was mistaken if he thought you were one to be obedient.
Sliding your hands down to his chest, you maintained the kiss as you backed him toward the bed. When his knees knocked yours, you broke away from him, a smirk on your face as you pushed him backwards onto the mattress. Leering at you slyly, he waited patiently for you to crawl on top of him, kissing his body over the fabric of his shirt on your way up to his lips. Settling down on his lap, you felt yourself clench when his hard-on pressed against your center. Lips touched his once before kissing down into his neck. You quickly gathered that Yoongi wasn’t a very vocal partner, which honestly you could have deduced just from the way he is in everyday life. Sucking on the skin under his jaw, you knew you found his sweet spot when he clenched his jaw, suppressing a moan. Smiling to yourself, you increased your pressure, forcing the blood toward the surface of his skin to create a nice plum blemish on his porcelain skin tone. Slowly, you began to rock yourself back and forth over his jeans, your underwear bunching and rubbing against your core. Hearing his breathing growing laboured, you sped up, grinding down harder on him. His head tilted to the side, giving you more space to work with, moving to create another mark that would show that he was yours, if only for tonight. Hands stroked your bare thighs as you shimmied a hand under his shirt, climbing higher up your legs before delving to your backside. With every motion you made, you felt his torso clench with pleasure, resisting the urge to rut up into you. Flipping up your skirt, his hands clutched your flesh so hard that you were sure he’d leave behind marks of his own. Helping your motions, you mewled into his neck after a particularly harsh squeeze, to which his shaft twitched. Your fingers traced down his abdomen to the waist of his jeans. Just as you freed the button from its confines, the jingle of your phone sounded from your jacket pocket.
Stilling above him, you swore. Letting your weight rest in his lap, you rooted around in your pocket for the device, grimacing when you saw Haerin’s name on the screen. Accepting the call, you muttered a curt, “Hello?”
“Hey, where are you?” The skin of your lips was pinched by your teeth as Yoongi drew shapes on your inner thigh.
“I’m, um,” you had to pause to keep yourself from moaning when Yoongi wriggled below you, a dark look daring you to continue. Clearing your throat you placed a hand on his chest, digging your nails in to the fabric as a warning, though he merely smirked and continued drawing on your legs. “I’m upstairs. Why?”
“Oh, fuck, are you with a guy?” Haerin asked, to which you simply hummed in confirmation. Yoongi suddenly sat up, his lips brushing over your collar bones making your thoughts fuzzy as you tired your best to focus on your conversation with Haerin. “I’m sorry Y/N, I’d handle it by myself but I can’t take care of both Tae and Luna.”
A faint sense of worry invaded your bubble of pleasure, one of Yoongi's hands pressing you closer to him by the small of your back. “What happened? They were fine when I saw them.”
“They passed out on the lawn.”
Yoongi paused his ministrations, hearing Haerin’s words too. Heaving a sigh, you placed a hand on his shoulder and lifted yourself off of him to stand. “Alright, i’ll be down in a sec.”
Ending the call, you fixed your skirt and hair while Yoongi buttoned his pants. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Yoongi reassured you, smoothing his collar and rubbing your lipstick off his neck. “I’ll take Taehyung home.”
“Thanks.” You giggled when you saw the traces of your lips staining his own. Licking your thumb, you gently rubbed the color away, teasing, “that’s a nice color on you.”
“You think?” He raised an eyebrow, catching your hand and swooping in to kiss you, replacing the color you wiped away. “I’d better keep it on then.”
You laughed and turned to the door, Yoongi’s fingers lacing together with yours. Each of you exited the room, faces still a little flushed while adorning grins. Yoongi stroked his thumb against yours, keeping you close as people glanced at you two and proceeded to whisper. You didn’t care though, still a little drunk off Yoongi's touch. Reaching the staircase, Yoongi speculated, “So how much you wanna bet that he threw up?”
“Oh, I don’t need to bet on that.”
#bts smut#Bts scenarios#yoongi scenarios#bts imagines#yoongi imagine#suga#suga imagine#suga scenario#bts fanfic#yoongi fanfic#suga fanfic#Yoongi
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*slides you five bucks* holly,,,,holly,,,pls give me greenlove headcanons,,,,the world Must Know
greenlove hcs
so . greenlove is this super poly ship a lot of my friends and i came up with. we basically all made an oc and plopped them into a poly ship with lloyd uwu
so, ill explain the ocs to you first!
micah (owner - tumblr: witchlightsands ao3: whichlights) he/him bi flower boy. he a flower boy baby!!!! hes a flirty mess of a bi and is constantly supportive of lloyd. also he loves puns. bastard nerd
rhian (owner - tumblr: cynicalmiles ao3 - cynicalmiles) nb she/her ace pan. she has the elemental power of magic! she also has two dads (nyx and max) and a bro named jayden (owner - tumblr: lightning-jay23 ao3: lightning_jay23). good at makeup. the shortest lol. she’s in the exact middle of the bastard/nerd/dumbass/valid scale
myan (owner - tumblr: qibliwinter/lesbianskylor (HEHEHEHE ME) ao3: hollyus) he/they pan. depending on the au, he’s a vet student or a volunteer or owner of a shelter! he has a dog named scritch and he’s pretty much, besides micah, the most normal one of the greenlove gang. valid nerd
bo (owner - ao3: Nagasha) she/her grayace demiro. she’s a coolass serpentine (hypnobrai)!! she grew up in a group of serpentine girls and she met lloyd at a p young age. probably the most down to earth one of the group. at the very top of valid nerd
ver (owner - tumblr: terezi-kin) he/they demiboy polysexual aro. ABSOLUTE meme trash. ASKJNDLSDFDK jokes are like, his defining personality trait at this point honestly. tall bitch but not the tallest. chaotic good dumbass bastard
celestien (owner - tumblr: iwillheckingfightyou/anywaylloydgarmadonistrans ao3: i_will_fight_you) nb they/them and arospec multisexual. tol long haired redhead, punches transphobes. they have two moms
also: here are more specific ship names
micah/lloyd - brightshipping
rhian/lloyd - emeraldshipping
rhian/micah/lloyd - sparkleshipping
myan/micah - m&mshipping
thats,, kind of all we have so far rip
OKAY - now we get into the actual hcs (which im SORRY miles youve probably heard them all in the discord nsdjkfldk)
rhian and myan are the shortest of the group, celestien and ver are the tallest
SO, rhian and myan totally ride on their shoulders and have a nerf gun fight
(in the circumstance his family is an owner of a shelter) myan and micah totally meet before meeting the others because myan has a shelter that’s like across the street from micah’s flower shop
at some point micah adopts a cat named skittles from the shelter and he cries when he first sees her bc shes so cute.
she’s around 2 years old and she’s a brown tabby with a white muzzle, paws, tip of tail, chest and stomach
she’s affectionate af
lloyd used to be single as fuck before greenlove and everybody made fun of him, so when he gets SIX WHOLE DATEMATES he laughs in their face
after the whole harumi fiasco the ninja DEFINITELY keep their eye on his datemates.
kai, to all of them: hey? hey! you hurt lloyd i hurt you
nya: (pulls out her samurai x dual swords) ill let you figure it out!
cole: ok yall seem chill but if you ever treat lloyd badly…youll regret the day you were born. anyways who likes video games here
jay: you better watch out…you better watch out…yOU BETTER WATCH OUT… YOU BETTER WATCH
zane: (gives off sense of intense protecting of lloyd)
anyways, it is eventually proven that the greenlove squad are all also extremely protective of lloyd (esp after all the shit he went through) and would never hurt him intentionally so all the ninja become cool with them
greenlove is the lloyd protection squad.
all of the greenlove squad minus lloyd: i am the lloyd guardian. guardian of the lloyd
the ninja: morro quivers before them!
greenlove gang minus greenie to morro: FUCK OFF
ver constantly tortures micah with memes and jokes
though,,, they do bond over puns
ver: you wanna go?
lloyd: yea
ver: on a date with me?
ver: OH YOU DO
ver: OHHHH
lloyd: YOU ACT LIKE I FELL FOR A CUNNING PRANK IM YOUR BOYFRIEND YOU EGG
lloyd: turtles turn up
myan: hell yeah go turtles
lloyd: dead on beaches
myan: oh dear god
greenlove: (just doing shit)
ver: wait
ver: so bo’s a snake person yeah
bo: …well, the term is serpentine, but..yeah??
micah: yea- oh god ver no
ver: we’re all scalies
bo: oh, um? i dont quite get what you mean, but his name is skales! not sure how he would react to you calling him, uh, skalie?
lloyd: (wheeze)
myan has, lots of grandchildren and children
(hint: they’re all animals)
myan, when a cat gives birth: hey guys look! its our 34th grandchild :)
rhian’s basically besties with nya
whenever she goes out on a date with lloyd, nya does her makeup, and kai does lloyd’s makeup (since nya and kai are makeup masters obvs)
any love song that’s sweet and nice: plays
all of the greenlove members simultaneously: HOLY SHIT ITS OUR SONG-
celestien: happy one year babe!
ver:
ver: im 18
celestien is ur friendly neighborhood anarchist :)
they have a discord with the ninja & co (aka adding on skylor and pixal) named “0 days since our last nonsense”
ver: @everybody
kai: i will kick your ass if you tag everybody again
ver: @here
kai: bitch
ver: (feigning innocence) but you didn’t say dont tag here :) :)
kai: fucker
nobody ever. ever. EVER gives ver mod/admin permissions. it happened once and theyll never make the same mistake again
my hc shortest from tallest is rhian, myan, bo, lloyd, micah, ver, celestien
celestien when they’re around tiny animals: (tearing up) you are so small? i could crush you? you’re just? so tiny?
micah dramatically during christmas: ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS , IS YOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUU
bo: micah i know you’ve been telling us this again and again for the like past 6 hours?
ver: you know what’s my music taste? youtube channel historyteachers.
ver, yelling at the top of their lungs: this plague is bubonic! B-U-B-O-N-I-C
ver: im factkin with the lady thats always singing in those videos
he listens to it so much that all his s/os can recite renaissance man to you on instant if you asked them to
myan: love is dead. you leave me as i lay here sick and festering. you have betrayed me
lloyd: woah whats up?
myan: my dog stole my fuckign popcorn
their older siblings/parents trade embarrassing stories about them and its just terrible for them but really amusing for their older siblings/parents
kai (lloyd), nyx, max (rhians dads), the reols parents (micah), myans parents, vers parents, the snake girl gang (bo), and celestiens moms: (cackling evilly)
bo: so, i was doing this and my friend-
micah: wait
bo: what
micah: oh my god myan and rhian rhyme,
rhian (before they started dating): writes her name on something
myan: holy SHIT THATS HOW YOU SPELL IT?
celestien nickname cel and rhian nickname rhi cause its cute
thATS MY HCS FOR GREENLOVE WHICH I LOVE!!!!!!!! sorry for taking for fucking ever
also if yall want to request hcs then Sure but from now on with hcs being put onto my inbox ill take them as suggestions- meaning, ill delete them if i dont feel like doing them (if you ask off anon ill post privately that i dont want to do it, if on anon ill just delete it lol)
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with every word you swear to me (all my beliefs start caving in)
RATING: T
PAIRING: Kim Donghyun/Im Youngmin
SUMMARY: “You’re a sophomore. I’m sure there are lots of things you still don’t know,” Youngmin teases Donghyun, all bark and no bite. Donghyun scoffs in return, but the good natured grin is still on his lips and his eyes are still sparkling with unrestrained mirth.(Here, Youngmin wishes he had a polaroid, because that’s a pretty sight and he wants to take a picture of it—of Donghyun smiling and looking like everything’s alright in the world even if everything isn’t—because this moment is something he wants to remember for a long, long time.)
“Yeah? Like what?” Donghyun challenges, raising a brow at Youngmin expectantly.“Like the fact that you feel a lot like home,” is what Youngmin wants to say, but Donghyun might think Youngmin’s hitting on him, and Youngmin definitely isn’t. Donghyun’s just a friend. A really, really nice friend that Youngmin’s nowhere short of adoring, but that’s it. A friend. A bro, if he must call him that. So, instead of blurting that out and unintentionally starting either a rift or a heart to heart, Youngmin shrugs. “Like, things.”
WORD COUNT: 27,612
WARNINGS: Internalized homophobia.
Also posted on AO3.
I.
"We are condemned — and we understand it
well —
To give everything, to withhold nothing."
People always have a drive. It’s their motivation, their will, some kind of thought that drives them to do whatever it is they’ve determined to be important enough to turn into reality. For world leaders, their drive might be to make their countries a better place, and for supreme sith lords from Star Wars, their drive might be to make things as bad as possible. A drive is neutral. It can be good, it can be bad, or it can be full-on chaotic neutral, but for Youngmin, he’s only got one drive, and it’s to make music.
(In retrospect, saying that his drive is to make music seems bizarrely anti-climatic when compared to the examples he’d stated, but Youngmin, despite being a rapper, is terrible at wording things out. Or, saying things. Stating? Saying? Either one.)
The first time he’d listened to his cousin play guitar, it felt like someone was constructing some kind of heavenly performance right in front of his eyes, even though looking back, listening to an eleven year-old pluck the same few strings to play a cheap rendition of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata should hardly be life-changing. Maybe Youngmin was just easily impressed as a kid, as most kids tend to be, but whatever the case is, it was music and it was his love at first sight. No, wait, not first sight—love at first sound? That.
“Teach me,” he’d breathed, eyes as wide as saucers in their amazement. His cousin wags his fingers at him and shakes his head, ends up saying something like ‘you’re too young to learn the art of guitar’, and Youngmin sulks afterwards. His pity party doesn’t stop him from sticking around when his cousin plays a few more songs though, and with every passing melody, he finds himself sinking deeper and deeper into the pool that is his constantly growing love for music. This is going to be his thing, just as his mother’s thing is sewing and his father’s thing is growing tomatoes at their farm. Youngmin helps out too, sometimes, but he doesn’t want to be stuck farming tomatoes all his life.
Music is what Youngmin wants to do, and one day, Youngmin’s going to be the best one out there. He just knows it.
Seoul University takes him out of Busan and into the capital of his nation. Youngmin is an awkward young adult; he fumbles with the Seoul dialect, and more often than not, slips back into his satoori in the middle of his sentences, especially when he’s nervous. (And he’s nervous quite often.)
Still, Seoul University might place him somewhere he’s completely not used to, because they didn’t have these skyscrapers back in Busan and he sure as hell isn’t used to the city lingo around here, but Seoul University takes him closer to his dreams, and that’s all that matters. He didn’t work his ass off during his last year of high school just to let all his hard work go to waste, no matter how homesick he gets sometimes, no matter how few friends he has on campus because of the awkward, unsure way Youngmin carries himself.
(The awkwardness is a little unlike the way Youngmin had been back in Busan. Though he was never the icon of confidence, the nerves hadn’t been as present, and that’s because Youngmin was home. Now, he feels like a stranger in his own skin whenever he speaks in a dialect that isn’t his own.)
Youngmin sucks it up. He makes do with what friends he does have, and spends his nights writing down lyrics, laptop still on with the composing program shown across his screen. Packets of cup ramen surround him, discarded and making his small studio room stink of instant noodles, but this is nothing. He convinces himself it’s nothing anyway, because all of this will get better once everything works out.
They have to.
Three years into his studies, Youngmin finds a familiar face in the crowd that is the music department’s newest batch of students.
He doesn’t recognize him at first. The kid now sports dyed red hair (the colour is ridiculous, but then again, Youngmin’s hair used to be an even brighter shade of it before he’d decided to return it to its original colour) and his features have matured, which is to be expected, because time waits for no one. Still, Youngmin does a double check, because the kid has an eerie resemblance to a certain Busan boy who used to drill Youngmin for money (not in an illegal manner, though it was surely annoying at certain times) during the most opportune moments.
As soon as the ceremony ends, Youngmin rushes down the stairs, heart pounding in his chest from excitement. The kid attempts to leave the building immediately (and he’s alone, too), but Youngmin is there by the door in a flash, blocking him from his exit.
“Um, do you mind?”
The kid seems to be too focused on looking past Youngmin’s shoulders to look at Youngmin’s face, and Youngmin feels slightly guilty, because he might be in a rush and Youngmin’s stalling his time. Still, he’s a man on a mission, so he does mind, thank you very much.
“Park Woojin?” Youngmin says the name tentatively, tasting the long unspoken syllables on his tongue. He’s going to be embarrassed if he gets this wrong, but Youngmin is at least 99% sure that he’s right, because there’s really no way someone can look like another person this much. Unless puberty is that powerful, which Youngmin highly doubts, because the kid’s even got the same beauty mark on the side of his temple, the same spot the Woojin he knows has one.
Unless cloning has become a possibility and a mad scientist has sent his creation to Seoul University’s music department, Youngmin’s postive the kid is the same Park Woojin he knows.
Woojin freezes, obviously surprised someone knows his name without him having given it prior (or so he thinks!), at least, until he finally looks at Youngmin’s face and realization dawns upon his features. Good, Youngmin didn’t get the wrong guy. “Youngmin hyung!”
Youngmin wants to hug the kid, but at the same time, they haven’t seen each other for so long that even after Woojin recognizing him, the two of them have a tangible awkwardness between them. Youngmin’s arms are limp, and Woojin doesn’t seem to have the initiative to hug Youngmin. The kid’s never been much of a hugger though, has he?
“Do you want to catch up?” Youngmin offers, a wry quirk to his lips. There’s a coffee shop—Youngmin’s favourite coffee shop, as a matter of fact—located just around the block. It should be open by now, and Youngmin hasn’t had the daily shot of espresso he needs to function in the morning. (Whose bright idea was it to hold the freshmen tour so early in the morning anyway? Not his, that’s for sure.)
If Youngmin feels better knowing Woojin’s satoori is even worse than his when he’d first moved to Seoul, he doesn’t let it show.
The both of them are cramped together in one of the cornered seats of the coffee shop, half-empty cups of coffee both placed on the table. Youngmin’s taking his time with his, though he’s tempted to down it in one shot. The only reason why he hasn’t is because Woojin’s there with him, and he’s not sure if Woojin would be terrified or seriously concerned if he sees Youngmin do that. Freshmen are weird.
“I have to thank you, hyung,” Woojin mumbles, voice uncharacteristically demure. When Woojin refuses to meet his eyes, Youngmin realizes that Woojin is shy. Is that even possible? (Apparently so, but Youngmin still has a tough time believing it, even if seeing is supposedly believing.)
“What for, Woojin?”
Woojin appears contemplative. Not for the first time in this conversation, Youngmin wishes he can see what’s going on inside the younger’s head, but that’d be an invasion of privacy so Youngmin retracts the thought—being creepy isn’t really on his bucket list. “You’re the reason why my parents allowed me to come here.”
“…Huh?”
Woojin grins, snaggletooth and all. It’s charming. “My mom only let me come here because she knew you’d be here, too. She trusts you.”
The weight of Woojin’s words soon sink in, and Youngmin looks at the younger with barely concealed horror. “I am not going to babysit you—”
It’s nothing personal, because Youngmin adores Woojin no matter how much money the younger has taken from him. Woojin’s a nice kid and he’s not a big hassle because Youngmin knows he’s the responsible type and he can handle most of his own problems. As far as younger brother figures go, Woojin’s on the independent end of the spectrum. Still, Youngmin isn’t fond of the thought of spending a majority of his nights looking after the freshman, close ties or not. He’s got his own life to live, his own problems to deal with. He doesn’t need to add Woojin on top of all that, no matter how much he likes the kid’s company.
“It won’t be babysitting!” Woojin cuts him off in the middle of his tirade, already latching onto Youngmin’s tone. It shuts Youngmin up, at least, lets him sink back onto his chair and give a gesture with his hands that’s meant to signal Woojin to explain. Hopefully quickly, because Youngmin has a date with his lyrics sheet back at his dorm. “You’ll just need to check on me every once in a while—okay, once a week—and text my mom how I’m doing. With pictures attached.”
“That sounds a lot like irresponsible babysitting, Woojin.” Judging by the guilty, sheepish grin that blooms on Woojin’s lips, it is, and Youngmin pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation. He’s already made up a decision, and it is exactly the kind of decision that makes Youngmin wish he wasn’t so responsible and (maybe a little) overbearing. “Text me your class schedule. We’ll work something out.”
Woojin gnaws on his lower lip. “But hyung, I don’t have your number yet.”
“Give me your phone, then.” Woojin hands it over without a fight, and Youngmin punches in his number, leaving the name blank. Whatever Woojin wants to name his contact as, it’s the kid’s choice. “Don’t forget to text me later, okay?”
Like an obedient oversized puppy, Woojin nods, lips set into a dutiful thin line. “Roger that, hyung. Wait, where are you going?” Youngmin’s already getting out of his seat and Woojin clambers after him, and in the process of rushing, accidentally hits his knee on the roof of their table. It makes an audible noise, and Woojin hisses in pain. Youngmin cringes.
“I’m guessing I’ll leave that part out when I report to your mom?”
Youngmin’s on his third cup ramen for the day and is inching closer and closer towards his imminent death due to a gaping lack of proper nutrition when his phone buzzes, indicating a new message.
It’s an unknown number, but the tone of the message makes it obvious as to who it is, so before responding, Youngmin saves his number. (He should’ve taken a picture of Woojin too, or at least find one online, because Youngmin has a thing with giving his contacts pictures—he’ll have to fix this later, maybe ask Woojin for a selfie?)
won stealer (13:15): hyung i have a great idea
won stealer (13:15): like, a really good one
won stealer (13:16): please hear me out
paca hyung (13:18): what is it?
won stealer (13:18): ok you’re here
won stealer (13:18): have you ever thought about making a band?
paca hyung (13:19): uh, no
won stealer (13:19): it’s a good idea and i can list down the reasons!
won stealer (13:19): do you want me to list down the reasons
paca hyung (13:20): go for it kid
won stealer (13:21): first of all you can totally look after me while being productive
won stealer (13:21): you can improve your song writing skills
won stealer (13:22): also you can submit the band as a project to your prof
won stealer (13:22): it’ll be extra credit!!!
paca hyung (13:23): okay, you’re onto something here
paca hyung (13:23): won’t hurt a shot lol what do i have to lose
won stealer (13:24): great because i might have already found us our vocalist and keyboardist
paca hyung (13:25): …
paca hyung (13:25): what
Whatever it is he’d expected of the vocalist, Youngmin surely hadn’t expected it to be someone even younger than Woojin. Their would-be vocalist and keyboardist is apparently a prodigy and got into college early through a fast track program Youngmin can’t seem to remember the name of. Long story short, the person Youngmin’s supposed to recruit seems like he’d belong more in the school orchestra rather than a band, and Youngmin doesn’t even want to know how Woojin managed to lure someone like that into his band. Maybe he should start giving Woojin more credit.
“Where’d you find him?” Youngmin doesn’t bother to make sure the vocalist (his name is Lee Daehwi, he’d mentioned before somewhere during their conversation) is out of the room when he asks this to Woojin, because it’s not like he’s going to say something rude about Daehwi anyway, and by the tone of Youngmin’s voice, it should be easy to defer that this is being spoken as a compliment.
Woojin smiles smugly. “I know people.”
“If by that you mean you posted an ad on the bulletin board and waited for someone to respond, then yeah, you know people,” Daehwi muttered under his breath, carefully avoiding Woojin’s piercing glance when directed towards him.
It was in that moment that Youngmin knew he’s going to like having Lee Daehwi around.
“Welcome to the band.”
The three of them make Youngmin’s favourite coffee shop as their base of operations. It’s a slow start, but it’s still a start, and their forming leads Youngmin to wonder why he hadn’t thought of something like this before.
“What are we going to name ourselves?” Daehwi asks one day, notepad in hand. He’s their resident planner and secretary as well as their vocalist and keyboardist, because everyone knows you should only leave those jobs to Woojin if you wanted your documents to get lost and it’s an open secret that Youngmin’s not the most organized person around. (“That much’s obvious with the way you layer your shirts,” Daehwi once said to him, and Youngmin refused to speak to the younger for a whole day afterwards. Not one of his best moments.)
Woojin’s nose scrunches up, and it’s the telltale sign that he’s thinking, because it’s his ‘thinking face.’ Youngmin remembers having a younger version of Park Woojin confiding this to him once, maybe over five years ago.
“How about WYD? Like, What You Doing? It’s got our names too! W for me, Y for Youngmin hyung, and D for Daehwi!”
As far as ideas go, that’s not terrible, and Daehwi writes it down. “Alright, that’s one idea. Youngmin hyung, do you have any ideas?”
Names aren’t his forte, but Youngmin takes into account the other two’s hopeful expressions, and somehow, his brain conjures up images of a sparrow and an otter instead of a band name that doesn’t sound like it came out of the ‘80s. But, Woojin and Daehwi both resemble those animals, and if Youngmin’s got to think of an animal for himself, it’d definitely have to be an alpaca (Woojin even saved his number as ‘paca hyung’)—he might be onto something here, and Youngmin might be able to kill two birds with one stone. The band name as well as what sets them apart from other bands, because in the music department, there are a lot.
“Animal Kingdom.” He’s met with dumbfounded silence and incredulous stares from Woojin and Daehwi. Woojin looks like he’s more surprised over the fact someone gave a name that sounded sillier than what he himself had suggested, and Daehwi looks exactly like someone who has just realized he’s surrounded by not just one, but two knuckleheads. So, Youngmin gives a follow-up to his statement immediately, which is a really PR thing to do and makes him realize he’s been hanging out with the PR kids way too much lately. “It makes sense! You look like a sparrow, and Daehwi looks like an otter. I look like an alpaca.”
Daehwi frowns. “You’ve got a point, but the name is so cheesy. And I’m the one saying that.”
When Daehwi of all people is saying something’s cheesy, then aforementioned something must be pretty damned cheesy, considering the fact Daehwi’s someone who can read a Nicholas Sparks book overnight and come out unscathed, even saying something like ‘it wasn’t that cheesy.’ Youngmin feels like a little part of himself has been scabbed. (The hip-hop part of himself, he means, because having a band called Animal Kingdom might not be the swaggiest—that’s probably not a word but one of the Taiwanese exchange students seems to think it is and Youngmin’s been infected by the kid’s word virus—thing to do.)
“A different name with the same concept, then?” Youngmin tries, and when the kids realize he’s not going to give up the animal concept any time soon, they give in with a sigh, though Woojin makes it evident he doesn’t think Youngmin entirely knows what he’s doing.
“How am I going to go to classes when people know me as a sparrow?” Woojin laments under his breath, and Youngmin brings himself to chuckle.
“At least you won’t be known as an alpaca.”
Woojin has the gall to turn his nose up at him. “But I thought you liked being called an alpaca? I mean, you’ve got the whole alpaca dance thing down to a—”
“Nope, I can’t hear you, Woojin.”
This isn’t working.
Theoretically speaking, it should be working, because they’ve got two rappers and one decent vocalist; not to mention Daehwi’s composing skills when teamed up with Woojin and Youngmin’s own (with the addition of each of their ability in lyric making) they should be a dream team. Not a trio of overworked college students who can barely get through practice without interrupting each other because that was a wrong note and something like one of them accidentally going off-tune.
Put simply, they’re a disaster, and Youngmin’s starting to regret investing all his time into this when he’s got a stack of assignments waiting for him back at his place. Maybe it was a stupid move of his, to consider that this whole thing would work out, because obviously he’s supposed to suffer his way through college before getting out and hopefully getting his big break. He’s added a ‘hopefully’ to that word, because there’s only so many success stories compared to the amount of failed musicians he sees, even if they’re graduates from South Korea’s top university.
It gets discouraging, and that leads to stress, and the stress tends to pile up.
So, what Youngmin’s trying to say is, maybe he’s not okay. He’d figured this whole band thing would be a magic key, but it’s starting to look like he’d chosen the wrong object and one of these days he’s going to have to come back to his cherry farm and—
And, he needs to calm himself, because this really isn’t the greatest place to have a mental breakdown. (Added to that, Daehwi’s starting to look worried and even Woojin’s caught onto the unsteady twist in Youngmin’s features. Deep breaths.)
“Hyung, are you okay?” Daehwi edges carefully, eyes searching for any trace of anything that’s not okay from Youngmin’s form. If he looks at the right places, he’s bound to find a hell lot of it.
“I’ll be honest,” Youngmin begins, voice blunt. “Not really. The band isn’t working out.” Subtlety has never been Youngmin’s strong point, so he decides to drop the bomb just like that, and averts his eyes because he doesn’t want to see whatever disappointment is waiting for him in both Woojin and Daehwi. It’d be like looking into the eyes of a puppy he’s abandoned, and he doesn’t need that on his already heavy conscience. (One of these days, Youngmin’s going to have a breakdown, he can practically feel it.)
“I’m sorry.” Woojin sounds so guilty, and Youngmin wants to tell Woojin that he doesn’t have to feel like he’s the guilty one. Even though Woojin’s the one who came up with the idea, in the end it had been Youngmin who’d executed it, and that makes him even worse because his role had him feeding the two kids some kind of false hope for… what? A reputation upgrade? A few extra points in class? It’s not like he’d sold them hopes and dreams, per se, but still.
“It’s not your fault. It’s mine,” Youngmin resolves, ignoring Woojin’s look of bafflement directed at him. “Listen, Woojin—”
“No, you listen, hyung.” That manages to shut Youngmin up, because Woojin is usually exuberant and vibrant, maybe more on the grumpy than the sunshine side of things (unlike Daehwi), but there’s a certain layer of ice behind Woojin’s tone that takes him completely aback. “You’re not the one at fault here. I don’t know why you’re thinking that when this whole idea was mine in the first place. You wouldn’t have formed our band if I hadn’t given you that idea—so if anyone’s to blame, it’s me. Please don’t blame yourself over this, hyung.”
“But I—”
“Stop blaming yourselves, oh my God,” Daehwi interrupts their self-pity, sounding more exasperated than angry. Is that a good thing? Youngmin hopes that’s a good thing. “This was none of your faults. Sometimes things don’t work out the way we want it to.” After a contemplative pause, he adds, “Kind of like a relationship.”
“A relationship?” Woojin mirrors Youngmin’s face of blatant confusion. Though, maybe to a more serious extent, because Youngmin’s starting to get the idea of what Daehwi’s saying, having had his fair share of relationships. Woojin’s been single since he was born, so Youngmin tries to understand the youthful innocence that rolls off him in waves.
“Yeah, a relationship. Sometimes you might give it your all, time and everything, but in the end some things just aren’t meant to work out.” Daehwi is probably speaking from experience, judging by the sadness that laces his tone. Youngmin makes a mental note to ask Daehwi if he wants to talk about it later. If there is a later.
In the end, the both of them look at Youngmin. He knows why, of course. They consider him as their leader. It’s a heavy burden, because he makes all of the important decisions, kind of like this one.
This time, the decision he makes is far from being an easy one.
“If we’re comparing this to a relationship, then it’s time to take a break.” And, because he can’t bear to see the both of them being sad, he decides to add in a pinch of humour—even if Woojin’s going to be the only one appreciating it in the end as Daehwi’s taste in humour isn’t as lame as his and Woojin’s. “It’s not you, it’s me.”
Neither Daehwi nor Woojin stop texting him, even after their failed attempt of a band ends before it even really begins. None of them act like a stranger around him, never forgetting to nod in acknowledgement or wave whenever they spot each other around campus. When they bump into each other in the halls, they greet each other too.
In a way, it settles Youngmin, because it doesn’t feel like much has changed. Maybe the three of them don’t meet up to make music anymore, but none of them have stopped being friends. Even if Daehwi’s found his own group of friends (with some of the more popular kids in freshman year, he recognizes Park Jihoon as one of them because he’s got a handful of friends who wants to be introduced to the kid) and Woojin’s slowly breaking through of his shell and is starting to talk to people who aren’t Youngmin nor Daehwi. Sometimes, Youngmin sees him walking to the library with someone else from his year—a nice boy named Hyungseob, he eerily resembles a bunny—and it makes him feel happy, even if he has to fake his reports to Woojin’s mother sometimes.
It’s not like she realizes the difference between the pictures that Youngmin takes of Woojin and the pictures that Woojin either takes himself, or has Hyungseob to do for him. The three of them are kind of like co-conspirators in a sense; co-conspirators in making sure Woojin’s mother stays happy even if Youngmin doesn’t stick around like the mother hen she’d expected him to be for her son.
(He was always more of a papa bear than a mother hen anyway.)
II.
" I knew
it was restless, nocturnal, demanding,
and wouldn’t fit into my life. But I longed,
nevertheless…"
Parties usually aren’t Youngmin’s scene.
It’s not that he lacks the social awareness needed for them (contrary to slightly popular belief, though those rumours have died down once people started noticing his friendship with Daehwi, Woojin, and the occasional Hyungseob—they called him the ‘freshman collector’ for a while before they started realizing that was kind of fucking creepy), but it’s because Youngmin would rather spend the night completing the assignments he knows are due either the next meeting or the meeting after that, but he still starts later on in the project anyway because apparently he’s Im Youngmin and he’s a sucker for death. Or pain. Whichever comes first.
Tonight’s a different occasion though, because it’s a special occasion. It’s not everyday that your first friend on campus gets elected as the president of his frat, as odd as it might seem that Kim Jonghyun’s a member of a fraternity in the first place. Jonghyun’s one of those good guys that seem like they could step into any movie and instantly be its protagonist because he’s got a good head on his shoulder and the kind of morality usually found in future world leaders, not the leader of a pack of (somewhat subdued) frat boys.
Still, Youngmin knows the boys of the fraternity adore Jonghyun, going as far as to slightly change their ways for him. The Jonghyun Effect (complete with a trademark and everything) is what they’ve been calling it, because—and this is what they say—whenever Jonghyun gets disappointed, it feels like they’ve managed to let down Captain fucking America. Youngmin sees the resemblance, kind of, because whenever Jonghyun’s disappointed he manages to make Youngmin feel like he’s ten again and he’s just done something that he wasn’t supposed to in the farm. He once shared that story to some of the frat boys, and they couldn’t relate.
That’s to be expected, considering none of their families own a tomato farm.
“Youngmin, I’m glad you could make it.” Jonghyun personally sees him at the door, and Youngmin doesn’t know if he’d ever expected anything else. The older of them (only by a few months, as Jonghyun is fond to remind him) is donned in a long-sleeved pink shirt that looks comfortable and fitted denim jeans. His hair is styled, and he’s smiling—pretty widely too, which is good, because this is supposed to be Jonghyun’s night.
“I know how much this means to you,” is what Youngmin offers in return. The both of them share a quick smile, and soon Jonghyun finds himself greeting another guest, leaving Youngmin alone after a quick apology. Youngmin waves off the apology, because Jonghyun’s supposed to be greeting the guests anyway, and Youngmin’s sure he’s got some friends of his own at this party.
Friends that aren’t Daehwi nor Woojin, considering they’re freshmen and he’s pretty sure Jonghyun hadn’t invited any to the party. Dongho, who stands as bouncer in all of his intimidating glory (it’s only a cover though, anyone who’s someone knows he’s a softie at heart) is bound to keep any party crashers at bay.
His first order of business is to get some booze. While he isn’t the biggest drinker, he can hold his liquor well enough, and there won’t be any harm in a few drinks. The buzz would be pleasant and maybe it’d get Youngmin to loosen up enough to make some friends. That is, if he manages to keep his drinking under control (easier said than done once the liquor really gets into his system) and avoids blacking out. Because if Youngmin blacks out, it means he wouldn’t remember any friends he’d made prior, and that’s not the angle he’s going for.
As tempting as it may be.
Thankfully, he’s able to find beer easily, even if beer isn’t exactly his preference. Youngmin’s more of a rice wine person, but he’ll take anything, so he gulps down the beer and controls his facial expression to avoid cringing at the stale, bitter taste.
(Nobody’s really paying attention to him, so even if he’d let his discomfort show, it’s not like he’s going to be the butt of the party. Everyone’s attention’s fixed onto Sanggyun who is currently doing a keg stand. Sanggyun’s doing a good job of not falling onto his own butt and embarrassing himself, and apparently it’s lasted more than ten seconds. Not bad.)
The party’s revving up now, more and more people arriving with every passing moment. Youngmin knows how much of a loser he looks like right now, quietly sipping a beer he isn’t even enjoying and not really having much company around him. The solution to this, of course, is even more drinks. Where else is he supposed to gather courage from? He’s similar to Woojin in this way, because the both of them have a tendency to be relatively reserved at first before being friendly with someone. That demeanor kind of changes when he’s trying to befriend someone who’s lonely (codeword for having even less friends than he does), in which he has the galls to be the talker instead of the one being talked to, but in this party, it seems like he’s the odd one out.
Most of the people here? He might know their names, but he’s starting to regret not going out more back in his freshman year. Now they’ve got their own friends, and Youngmin’s… Youngmin. Not left behind, per se, but not exactly in the crowd either.
He’s in the tiny gray area in the middle, sometimes teetering over the line when his three freshmen friends are involved, but that’s all.
(His thoughts are starting to get sad and the party’s barely even started—time to get another drink.)
Two hours into the party and Youngmin’s already done his fair share of socializing (he thinks he’s made like, what, five new friends now? Daehwi would be proud), feeling the familiar buzz of the alcohol but still fairly in control, because he holds his liquor well and he doesn’t really enjoy much of the alcoholic beverages served to drink further. The drinks were a good distraction from his thoughts that were taking a rapid depressive turn, but now they’ve served their job, and Youngmin keeps a tight handle on his self control.
He knows when enough is enough and he still needs to walk across campus to get back home—so, no more drinks. Not tonight.
Youngmin’s having a grand time leaning against a wall as he watches the antics of the party unravel before his eyes (some interesting things are beginning to happen, like witnessing Jonghyun finally kiss Minhyun after several months of pining), only slightly wondering what he’d have done had he drunk as much as the rest of them. Probably nothing remarkably interesting, maybe he’d have puked in one of the bathrooms, and ended up falling asleep in the bathtub. Nothing remarkable enough to go on anyone’s Snapchat, just something to give him a bitch of a hangover when he wakes up.
Maybe he should go back now. It’s not like anyone’s going to call him out for leaving, and he’s already been there for two hours, so that should be enough, right?
(As he sees Jonghyun push Minhyun inside a bathroom and the resounding click that happens after Jonghyun locks the door, he decides that yep, this is definitely enough. He doesn’t need to hear or imagine whatever’s happening after that, dear Lord.)
What happens after that is something that Youngmin will remember for the rest of his life as the beginning of something fateful (or whatever wording there is that Daehwi would use from one of his Nicholas Sparks novels) in the years to come, but at the present moment, something that’s just plain fucking weird, because some guy he doesn’t know has just strolled up to him and promptly plants a big, sloppy kiss on his lips.
Stranger Danger (that’s what Youngmin’s going to call him, or SD for short) reeks of alcohol and bad life decisions, because giving Im Youngmin out of all people a kiss has got to be a terrible life decision, and Youngmin pushes him away just as any other person would do when a stranger suddenly tries to shove their tongue in your throat and just ends up colliding your teeth with his (painfully) in the process.
Drunken kisses aren’t his thing, neither are kisses shared with strangers, and negative plus negative equals negative. So, that wasn’t necessarily the best way to start an acquaintanceship or whatever it is the stranger had been hoping for with Im Youngmin.
“What the hell?” Youngmin splutters, looking as taken aback as he sounds. He’s sure SD hadn’t meant to cause any harm, because alcohol makes you do really stupid things, so he tries not to sound too rude. A difficult task, considering he’d just had a kiss stolen by some drunk college student at a frat party.
(Oh my God, I might’ve just kissed a frat boy. The very thought sends shivers down Youngmin’s back in terror, because not to generalize all frat boys, but the only decent frat boy’s Youngmin’s ever talked to is Jonghyun.)
“Why did thou push me away, oh Romeo?” SD starts to lament in front of him, and Youngmin kind of wants to bury a hole and stay there for the duration of his party or maybe the rest of his life, because did he just get kissed by a stranger who thought Youngmin was Romeo? From Romeo and Juliet?
What kind of drunk nutcase could he possibly be dealing with?
“Listen, I’m not Romeo, I’m Im Youngmin,” he attempts to correct the other, inwardly relieved that the drunk stranger hasn’t tried to kiss Youngmin again. Instead, he looks lost now, head tilted slightly and eyes dazed in drunken confusion. “Maybe I look like someone you’re… acting with or whatever, but it’s not me, got it?”
And, because Youngmin’s life is made of inopportune moments, that’s the exact moment that the guy chooses to pass out on him—eyes rolling backwards, body dropping unceremoniously to the ground before Youngmin even has the chance to react.
Thank goodness he chose a spot with a carpet as a place to pass out, because Youngmin doesn’t need ‘letting a guy fall to the cold hard ground’ weighing down on his already heavy conscience.
He can’t just go home like this, though. It wouldn’t be right to leave someone on the ground, even if it’s a padded floor because of the carpet, even if it’s the same someone who’d seriously weirded him out by kissing him and proceeding to act as if Youngmin’s playing Romeo in a warped version of Romeo and Juliet where the both of them are at an unglamorous college party. So, Youngmin awkwardly slings the guy’s arm across his shoulder, and rests an arm on his waist as he attempts to holster the drunk up.
It’s a tough job because the guy weighs heavier than he looks (which is odd because he seems to be more skin than bones, so maybe it’s lean muscle?), but he doesn’t receive any odd stares because everyone’s off in their own drunken worlds. Not for the first time tonight, Youngmin thanks the booze.
Why am I even doing this? Youngmin grimaces when he already feels the knots forming on his neck, and he knows he’s going to wake up all sore tomorrow because this is the closest thing he’s had to a workout in the span of thirteen months. Oh, right. It’s because I have a ‘saving people thing’, whatever that is. Daehwi, as a matter of fact, is the first person to point out said ‘saving people thing’ after he’d witnessed Youngmin give his packed lunch to a homeless man when the both of them had been strolling around Seoul. Daehwi said it because he knows that was the last food Youngmin’s got in his fridge, and Youngmin knows a ‘saving people thing’ is supposed to be positive, but right now, it’s just kind of… dumb. Heroic, but dumb.
The stranger’s given him more trouble than he’s worth, and yet, here is Youngmin, saving him from being a man floor at a party. He just hopes that when the stranger wakes up tomorrow, he’s not going to attempt to kiss Youngmin again or try to call him Romeo. Once was more than enough.
When the stranger wakes up, Youngmin’s already cooked breakfast for the both of them, a simple plate of sunny-side eggs and some rice on the side. Though Youngmin would usually save the eggs for a special occasion (and instead opting to have cereal for breakfast or something), he doesn’t want to seem rude, even if he’d already gone out of his way to bring the stranger back to his apartment after a completely unconventional first meeting.
He’d fix the stranger up some hangover soup if he actually had the ingredients. Alas, he doesn’t, so he can only hope the stranger likes his egg sunny-side up.
“Hey. Aspirin’s on the table.” Youngmin points at the assortment of pills, sending a smile that he hopes looks friendly at the stranger. The stranger returns it warily, and Youngmin feels a stab of relief, because at least he knows the stranger’s probably not the type to do the same things he’d done when he was drunk (possibly shitfaced?) last night.
“Thank you,” croaks the stranger, and Youngmin winces. Must be one hell of a hangover.
“I, uh, cooked you some breakfast. It’s not much, though.” The stranger looks at the plates Youngmin’s conveniently placed on the small dinner table, and his face lights up in the first genuine smile Youngmin’s seen from him. It’s… admittedly a nice sight.
“Thank you,” he repeats once more, voice still throaty, but in slightly better condition now that he’s gotten more used to speaking. “Did we, um…? I mean I don’t think we did because I woke up wearing the same thing as I did yesterday, but, um.”
The stranger’s ears are red, and Youngmin isn’t looking much better either. Still, Youngmin gathers the courage needed to wave the stranger off, shaking his head in a negative. “No, we didn’t. You passed out, though, so I decided to bring you back. Hope it wasn’t a creepy move or whatever.”
“It wasn’t,” assures the stranger, and Youngmin feels a wave of comfort. There’s this kind of calming aura that surrounds him, and that itself makes it even more mind-boggling that this is the same person who’d kissed him and proceeded to address him as Romeo less than twelve hours ago. “I’m Donghyun.”
Youngmin outstretches his hand. Donghyun takes it in his, and Youngmin has to note how firm his grip is. Must be the muscles, then, because his sore shoulders are a reminder of how much effort it’d taken to drag Donghyun back to his dorm.
“Im Youngmin.”
juliet (8:09): hey :)
juliet (8:09): thanks again for earlier
juliet (8:10): you didn't have to go through all that trouble for me
paca hyung (8:11): it was the right thing to do so don't sweat it
paca hyung (8:12): even if you were a little heavy like dude what's your workout plan??
juliet (8:13): out of all the things you could've said
juliet (8:13): amazing
paca hyung (8:14): what? you're like a bulky juliet
juliet (8:14): STOP DON'T BRING THAT UP EVER AGAIN
juliet (8:15): i take back everything I've said you're mean
juliet (8:15): don't talk to me
paca hyung (8:16): ok...
juliet (8:16): I DIDN'T MEAN IT LITERALLY!!!
Over the course of the weekend, Youngmin learns several things about Donghyun.
The first (and most) important thing is that Donghyun’s normally a quiet person; reserved, even, kind of like Youngmin but with more friends because he’s an ambivert, apparently. Point is, Donghyun is more on the quiet side, and after learning what he’d done to Youngmin during their first meeting, he’d turned beet red and couldn’t look at Youngmin in the eyes for an hour.
That piece of information Youngmin figured when the both of them were at Youngmin’s apartment, just before Donghyun leaves Youngmin to go home, but not before putting in his number into Youngmin’s phone. It’s platonic, though. A hundred and one percent completely platonic because Donghyun says he’s straight.
Youngmin doesn’t push it because he knows his boundaries.
They do start texting, though, and that’s how Youngmin gets to know his new friend. Or acquaintance. He’s not sure where Donghyun falls on the spectrum, but he’d like to think they’re friends. Hopefully it’s not one-sided thinking on his part, because that’d be awkward, and Youngmin’s already a lump of awkwardness that he doesn’t know how he’d fair when faced with that confrontation.
He has his own reasons as to why they might be friends, though, because they’ve been texting near-nonstop for the past two days and by this point, Youngmin knows what’s Donghyun’s hobby (writing lyrics and making songs), his hometown (Daejeon, a little surprising because Youngmin would’ve thought Donghyun was a Seoul boy), and the name of the cacti he keeps next to his window (Jack.)
In return, he’s shared some things about himself to Donghyun too, like how he was in a band just a few weeks ago until they figured out things wasn’t working out, to stories of how he used to help his parents out in their tomato farm back in Busan. Donghyun’s a good listener (through text, if that’s a thing, and Youngmin’s going to pretend that it is), always commenting during the right moments and staying silent otherwise.
Donghyun is nice, and Youngmin kind of likes being friends with him, even if so far their real life interaction consists of Youngmin helping Donghyun nurse his hangover after their disastrous first meeting. A little unconventional and maybe more than a little backwards, but it’s the company that matters.
As far as Youngmin’s concerned, Donghyun is wonderful company.
There’s a new movie playing in town. Something about aliens, because almost everything’s about aliens nowadays, and everyone on campus is talking about it because the lead actress is from South Korea. National pride and everything.
It doesn’t hurt that the movie has a rating of over 80% on Rotten Tomatoes, so that’s got to mean it’s a decent watch.
The first person he asks to accompany him is Woojin, partly because the both of them go way back but also because Youngmin’s seen Woojin’s wallpaper; it’s a candid of the actress, so Youngmin’s sure the kid was waiting to watch it, too.
Only, there’s one problem.
“Sorry, hyung. I’ve already promised Jihoon I was going to watch it with him.”
An odd expression crosses Youngmin’s face. “Wait, Daehwi’s friend Jihoon? Your Park family name twin Park Jihoon?”
Woojin nods, seemingly uneasy. “Yeah, with him. I’ve already planned this with him since last week.” That must mean they’ve been waiting for a while, because the movie only started playing yesterday.
“Okay then, I guess.” Woojin sags in relief, and Youngmin, protective older friend instincts kicking in, senses that something might be going on over here. “Are the two of you seeing each other or something? Because I thought you were with Hyungseob.”
“It’s not like that—”
“Sure it isn’t.”
“—okay fine, so maybe it’s a little like that, but it’s not serious or anything. It’s just one date, and Jihoon… well, Jihoon’s cute.” Woojin shrugs weakly, as if that rectifies everything, but Youngmin frowns in an almost disapproving manner. To bystanders, this might seem like a scene out of a teenager movie, like a father scolding his son for sneaking out at night for a party. Except this kind of party is one with only two people, one of which Youngmin’s never actually spoken to before, so he thinks his worry is well placed.
Something in Woojin’s expression softens after he notices the way Youngmin’s brow twitches whenever he’s worried, and Youngmin’s not sure whether to be horrified or proud that Woojin knows him well enough to the point he can read his body language. “Hyung, I’m going to be fine. Just because you’re playing babysitter for me doesn’t mean I’m still a kid, okay? I can make my own decisions, and it’s just a date, it’s not like I’m going to drag Jihoon off to Vegas where we’ll wake up the next day with a marriage certificate.”
Youngmin certainly doesn’t need that mental image.
After Woojin’s crossed out off the (very) short list of the people Youngmin could ask to go to the movies with, his next choice is Daehwi, obviously, but that plan’s also botched when Daehwi informs him that he’s out of town that week. Apparently, he’s in America to visit his mother, and he’ll be back in two weeks. Youngmin would ask ‘but what about your assignments’, but Daehwi is Daehwi, who is scarily efficient and terrifyingly smart, so he retracts that after realizing that, as far as questions go, is a pretty stupid one.
In the end, after figuring out two of his favourite juniors (he’d call them youngsters but that’d make him sound way too old for his age) were unable to make it, he’d decided—after brief contemplation on his part—to ask Donghyun.
Brief contemplation because they’ve only known each other for less than a week, and despite the fact their Snapchat streak’s still going on until this day, Youngmin’s not sure if Donghyun would consider them as close enough friends to hang out with each other. It’s silly, because when he confesses this to Daehwi, all he gets is a text that says ‘lol you guys have a snapchat streak for over five days isn’t that a sign of friendship??’ which Youngmin leaves on read because Daehwi’s got a good point and yet, Youngmin still worries.
(He knows he should really stop worrying over the most trivial things, but Youngmin can’t help it. He’s a natural worrier and all the stress and anxiety piling up doesn’t exactly help.)
paca hyung (11:13): are you free tomorrow?
juliet (11:13): hello to you too hyung
paca hyung (11:14): …
paca hyung (11:14): hi donghyun
paca hyung (11:14): are you free tomorrow? (2)
juliet (11:15): i am!!! why do you ask?
paca hyung (11:16): do you want to watch a movie w/ me?
paca hyung (11:16): ‘the alien way’
paca hyung (11:17): i think that’s what it’s called
juliet (11:17): ok! i’ve been meaning to watch it anyway
juliet (11:18): meet you at the cinema tomorrow? what time?
(Youngmin checks the time of the screenings on his laptop. His eyes squint as they adjust to the brightness, but he sees well enough, considering he’s wearing his glasses right now. Those are more comfortable than the contact lenses he usually wears.)
paca hyung (11:20): around 2pm?
juliet (11:20): call!!! i’ll see you tomorrow, hyung!!
Well. That wasn’t as big of a disaster as he’d imagined it’d be.
Whatever it is he’d been expecting Donghyun to say to him, it definitely isn’t what he does end up saying, which is an unimpressed, “Do you have a thing for layered shirts, hyung?”
Youngmin feels the tips of his ears burn. He remembers vaguely, though the moment’s more than a little shaky by now (he’s never been the one to have the strongest memory) wearing a layered shirt the first morning he met Donghyun. Sober Donghyun anyway. It’s not the same shirts as he’s wearing now though, and maybe the difference of the shade isn’t anything overly life-changing, but the colours are different enough to make it evident that Youngmin spices things up using a variety of colours.
(“These are all shades of red. Or white, I didn’t even think that was possible,” Daehwi once said, giving his wardrobe a scrutinizing look that made Youngmin feel as if his clothes were being inspected by a literal fashion police. And he might’ve gotten on the wrong side of said police officer. “How do you even call this a variety?”
He might’ve looked properly chastised after that, and Woojin’s sniggers were pointedly ignored.)
“It’s my style,” he defends, almost weakly.
Donghyun chuckles. Idly, Youngmin notices he doesn’t look half bad even though he’s donned in a simple striped shirt and plain black pants. “Don’t worry, I didn’t mean it negatively or anything. I was just making an observation, so don’t take it the wrong way, hyung. There’s nothing wrong with layered shirts.”
“Sorry,” Youngmin offers, and Donghyun shrugs.
“It’s cool. Where are we sitting, by the way?”
Oh, right. Tickets. Youngmin fishes the two pieces of paper out from his pocket, and hands them over to an expectant Donghyun. It’s a good thing Youngmin knows a guy who works at the cinema, and therefore, was able to reserve tickets through him. Maybe not the fairest move, but Youngmin pays for the tickets (well, he will pay for them when he meets the guy in class later). It’s not like there’s a law stating this isn’t allowed or anything, so Youngmin’s not too bothered by using up his favors and connections.
(Connections. Way to make himself sound like a social butterfly when Youngmin knowing the right guy’s just the result of plain luck.)
Donghyun does a low whistle. It sounds pleasant, but then again, Donghyun’s voice is nice to listen to in general. Kind of makes Youngmin look back to the days of the band and what could’ve been, because although Donghyun is no Daehwi, Donghyun is Donghyun. Everyone’s got different strengths and Youngmin wishes he knows how Donghyun sounds like when he’s singing. Maybe if they’d met earlier, Youngmin would’ve asked Donghyun to join the band, and things could’ve worked out.
Or, an alternative result: things would’ve stayed the same even with the addition of one, because that’s just the way life works. Some things work, other things don’t. A successful life’s only the result of trial and error, though a pinch of luck wouldn’t hurt. (That’s exactly why Youngmin hopes he’s got at least some luck on his side; it’d be nice to actually achieve his dream and make sure the past few years haven’t been a total waste.)
“You got us some pretty nice seats.” Donghyun passes the tickets back to him. “Hey, let’s go grab some popcorn. My treat. Do you prefer butter or caramel?”
“Butter.”
“What are the odds, me too. I’ll buy a bucket for us to share, then. Unless you hog the popcorn. Do you hug the popcorn, though?" Donghyun's brows are knitted together because he's asking a Very Serious question right now, his lips twisted into what Donghyun might think to be a frown, but ends up looking more like a pout. Not for the first time, Youngmin thinks he might be one of the cutest people he's ever met. (Fine, there's not really a lot to choose from, but it's the thought that counts.)
"I don't think so?"
"Huh." Donghyun hums. "I'll hold you to that."
The bucket of popcorn is wedged between the both of them, Youngmin having gotten an idea to place it on their shared armrest. It’s not the most comfortable position, but at least neither of them get to hog the popcorn, and Donghyun seems to care more about sharing the food equally rather than his own comfort while watching a movie that’s nearly three hours long.
(Youngmin checks the duration of a movie before he watches them—it’s comforting, and he can estimate when he’ll eventually have to get back home and return to the mundane life of composing and surviving off shitty coffee.)
Donghyun makes for a nice movie watching companion. He doesn’t talk much, instead choosing to focus his attention on the screen. He doesn’t ask for spoilers or anything, doesn’t even check his phone. In one occasion, Youngmin feels the buzz of Donghyun’s phone’s vibration, but the other doesn’t bother to lift it from his lap (it’s face-down.)
That’s kind of nice, if a little worrying because what if it was something important someone was trying to tell Donghyun? Though he brushes off the worry when he reminds himself that it’s Donghyun’s problems, not his, and he has enough of his own worries to worry about.
Point is, Donghyun makes for a nice movie watching companion, and Youngmin thinks he might want to do this again sometimes. It’s like a breath of fresh air when he compares it to watching movies with Woojin, who’s usually talking miles and miles per hour, and Daehwi, who has a much different taste in movies than Youngmin. Daehwi checks his phone throughout Youngmin’s choices just as Youngmin sleeps through Daehwi’s movie selection, so it’s fair game and there’s no malice behind it whatsoever.
So, yeah. This is kind of nice.
It becomes a regular occurrence, and Youngmin’s not sure when him and Donghyun started becoming comfortable enough to drop by each other’s places unannounced (it helps that they apparently live in the same building, only on different floors and that makes visiting so much easier) but it does start three weeks or so after their initial meeting. The both of them become fast friends, and Donghyun makes Youngmin feel comfortable in a way that neither Daehwi nor Woojin have been able to. Being with Donghyun makes Youngmin feel like he’s back in Busan, and that’s weird because Donghyun’s satoori is a poor imitation of Youngmin’s and he’s never been out of Daejeon nor Seoul, but there’s just something about Donghyun that makes Youngmin feels like he’s home.
That’s in a totally platonic way, of course. Youngmin might be openly bi and has dated his fair share of both guys and girls, but as far as he knows, Donghyun’s completely, inexplicably hetero. Apparently it’s because Donghyun’s been conditioned since he was a kid that a guy was only supposed to be with a girl, having a religious family and everything, and by the time people would start trying to experiment with their sexuality or something, Donghyun’s mind was already made up.
He doesn’t judge Youngmin, though. Youngmin’s confided this to Donghyun during the beginning of their friendship, on the same morning that Donghyun woke up on Youngmin’s bed (Youngmin had taken the couch and it wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable as Woojin makes it out to be) and had to explain the awkward chain of events the previous night—and in the end, instead of turning him away and sprinting out of Youngmin’s room as soon as Donghyun learns of Youngmin’s sexuality, the guy just nods and keeps a smile on his face, still.
(“I’d like to pride myself for being pretty open minded. In accepting other people’s preferences, I mean. It’s the twenty first century, right?”
And, well, Youngmin kind of decided right then and there that Donghyun was a good person.)
Tonight, the both of them are sprawled on Donghyun’s couch, the television showing their movie selection, Prisoner of Azkaban. Donghyun’s watched this at least a million times (or so he says), but this is Youngmin’s first time watching. They’ve been here for hours now, going through the Harry Potter movies because apparently Youngmin’s lack of Harry Potter experience is a sad, sad story that needs to be amended immediately.
Youngmin goes with it, even if he didn’t see the hype (that’s starting to change, but don’t let Donghyun know that or he’ll never live it down) because it was Donghyun’s idea. That’s as good of a reasoning as any, right?
“I’m getting sleepy,” Youngmin admits when they’re halfway done with the movie. Still, there are five more to go, but the clock’s already showing that it’s past midnight and Youngmin’s eyelids are getting too heavy.
“Weak,” teases Donghyun, though judging by the heaviness of his voice, Youngmin deduces that he’s stifling a yawn. (A few moments later, he’s proven correct.)
“We could continue this tomorrow, you know,” Youngmin begins. He looks at Donghyun who’s nodding off already, and his eyes soften. “It’s a weekend. We don’t have to finish all of this in one go.”
Donghyun doesn’t say anything afterwards, only making a small grunt that Youngmin’s not sure whether that’s agreement or denial. He doesn’t dwell on it though, because the movie’s getting to the good part, and Youngmin doesn’t want to miss it.
(Spoiler alert: he doesn’t miss that scene, but he misses the scene after that. He’s unable to fend off his need for sleep anymore, so he dozes off. Youngmin doesn’t notice that Donghyun’s already asleep even before him, breathing controlled and perfectly even.)
They wake up the next morning, limbs tangled and Youngmin feels a crick in his neck because Donghyun had used it as a convenient place to lean on sometime during his sleep. It’s kind of worth it though, because Donghyun looks so peaceful and content when he’s sleeping that even Youngmin, whose neck is seriously beginning to ache (nothing mortally dangerous, only the kind of soreness that’ll go away if he looks up acupuncture points later) doesn’t dare to move a muscle.
When Donghyun finally wakes up, Youngmin doesn’t miss the way Donghyun tenses, as if he’d just realized he’d done something that might not have been the ‘straightest’ thing to do. (Which is kind of bullshit, because it’s not like they’d kissed or anything, it was just cuddling. There’s nothing wrong with bros cuddling, really.)
“Good morning, sunshine.” Youngmin cracks a grin. It’s one that Donghyun returns weakly.
They don’t talk about it.
fashionista (18:00): HYUNG WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU MADE A NEW FRIEND D:
fashionista (18:01): i can’t believe i heard about this from samuel
fashionista (18:01): I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS DD:
paca hyung (18:02): um
paca hyung (18:02): what
fashionista (18:03): don’t what me >:(
fashionista (18:03): i’m talking about you and donghyun hyung??? (duh???)
paca hyung (18:04): oh donghyunnie
fashionista (18:04): YOU GUYS HAVE PETNAMES?
paca hyung (18:05): daehwi chill it’s the same way i call woojin woojinie
paca hyung (18:05): wait i also call him by kid a lot too idk
fashionista (18:06): ugh wait
fashionista has added won stealer to this chat
won stealer (18:07): what up my dudes
fashionista (18:08): youngmin hyung has a new friend!!! and he didn’t tell us!!!
won stealer (18:09): uhhh way to go for making a new friend youngmin hyung?
fashionista (18:09): why
won stealer (18:09): why not
fashionista (18:10): ANYWAYS
fashionista (18:10): i want to meet your new friend!!! hyung, introduce us!
won stealer (18:11): why am i included
fashionista (18:12): OH I KNOW how about you take him to our karaoke bar! it’ll be fun!
paca hyung (18:13): pretty sure i don’t have much of a choice daehwi you’re a man on a mission aren’t you
fashionista (18:14): indeed >:)
won stealer (18:15): can someone please explain to me what’s going on
fashionista (18:16): it’s me wondering what jihoon and hyungseob see in you
When the band was still a thing, aside from the coffee shop, Youngmin still remembers the three of them hanging out in a karaoke place located right next to a hole in the wall chicken wings restaurant. It’d been a weekly ritual of theirs, usually every Friday because they need some time to unwind and what better way to do it than indulge in some silly singing (or in Youngmin and Woojin’s case, rapping or doing a weird, offkey thing that they can’t even call singing) together?
“I’ve never been to this area of town before.” Donghyun’s looking around the alleys in awe, taking in the sight of the brick red washed buildings all cramped together, little signs hanging off some places, some of them fluorescent. Some of the kids call this the ‘edgier’ part of the city that surrounds the campus, the kind of place that the artsy students with the tortured souls would find solace in some of the cafés scattered around. The cafés in question offer a decent view, decent coffee, and decent company. Youngmin would know, considering he’s gone to every single one of them during exams rush.
“You’re a sophomore. I’m sure there are lots of things you still don’t know,” Youngmin teases Donghyun, all bark and no bite. Donghyun scoffs in return, but the good natured grin is still on his lips and his eyes are still sparkling with unrestrained mirth.
(Here, Youngmin wishes he had a polaroid, because that’s a pretty sight and he wants to take a picture of it—of Donghyun smiling and looking like everything’s alright in the world even if everything isn’t—because this moment is something he wants to remember for a long, long time.)
“Yeah? Like what?” Donghyun challenges, raising a brow at Youngmin expectantly.
“Like the fact that you feel a lot like home,” is what Youngmin wants to say, but Donghyun might think Youngmin’s hitting on him, and Youngmin definitely isn’t. Donghyun’s just a friend. A really, really nice friend that Youngmin’s nowhere short of adoring, but that’s it. A friend. A bro, if he must call him that. So, instead of blurting that out and unintentionally starting either a rift or a heart to heart, Youngmin shrugs. “Like, things.”
“Very helpful,” Donghyun deadpans.
“We’re here!” Youngmin willfully ignores how unimpressed Donghyun is by his lackadaisical answer, instead holding the door to the karaoke open for him. The cool breeze from inside is alluring, considering they’d walked all the way there and it feels like it’s a hundred degrees or something, and the karaoke place also smells like popcorn, soda, beer, and whatever snacks karaoke places usually serve. (It’s been a while, okay? Youngmin’s memory is, he repeats, not the best.)
Woojin and Daehwi are supposed to be there already, so Youngmin leads Donghyun to his usual room (it’s practically designated by now), and even when the both of them are right outside the door, they can already hear noises coming from inside, meaning Youngmin recognizes Woojin’s attempt at a high note and Daehwi’s uncontrolled laughter.
“Yup, those are my friends,” Youngmin mutters under his breath.
“They sound lively,” Donghyun comments off-handedly. His hand’s on the doorknob, but he’s waiting for Youngmin’s ‘okay’ to open it, and that’s probably made it onto Youngmin’s list of the most thoughtful things anyone’s ever done for him.
“You have no idea.” Youngmin shakes his head, a fond grin on his lips. “Time to join the fray, buddy.”
“No, not the fray. Anything but the fray.” Donghyun puts his free hand over his chest, face morphed into what looks like a face someone would be wearing had Youngmin just insulted their mother.
“Just open the door, Donghyun.” Youngmin’s exasperation is evident, but his gaze remains warm. There might be something other than simple camaraderie hidden beneath its brown hues, but if there is, neither of them notice.
Three things. There are three things Youngmin finds out about during the group’s karaoke slash meet Youngmin’s new (and possibly only when he discounts Woojin and Daehwi) friend, which are:
First, Daehwi is an expert at embarrassing Youngmin. This is the most painful one, because apparently Daehwi knows about all of Youngmin’s embarrassing stories (probably got some of them from Woojin, if the guilty look in Woojin’s face is any indication) and he isn’t afraid to share one or two to lighten the mood at Youngmin’s expense. At one point, Daehwi told Donghyun about the time Youngmin accidentally sent a sext to his uncle instead of his boyfriend-now-ex (who coincidentally had the same name of his uncle, which, now that he thinks about it, is pretty fucking weird) and Youngmin has absolutely no idea where Daehwi got that story from because he’s pretty sure Woojin hadn’t been present at the time that catastrophe blew up full scale.
Daehwi is terrifying, and Youngmin (slightly, somewhat, very lowkey-ly) fears him. Hell, if Daehwi puts his mind to it, Youngmin’s pretty sure the kid could rule the world over a weekend.
The second thing, and this is much less terrifying than the first but also much more interesting, is figuring out that Woojin is in some kind of love triangle between Jihoon and Hyungseob. Being the supportive older brother figure he is, the first thing Youngmin said after finding out that Woojin was torn between the two boys had been, “Wow? You of all people?” and that’d granted a round of laughter from Daehwi, a pout from Woojin, and a light slap on his shoulder from Donghyun.
“He has love problems, Youngmin, this isn’t really the time for comments like that,” Donghyun had chastised, and Youngmin shut up afterwards. Woojin seemed smug, at least, until Donghyun spoke again. “Doesn’t mean I’m completely disagreeing with what Youngmin said, though. I mean, Park Jihoon? Really?”
Woojin’s situation is messy, because Jihoon likes Woojin, but Hyungseob also likes Woojin (maybe has been liking him for a while now, Youngmin’s not oblivious to the lovesick stares Woojin receives from Hyungseob whenever the three of them hang out). Woojin likes both of them, and is now camping out in Daehwi’s house so that he can avoid his problem. Daehwi has his own house a few minutes away from campus, and it’s secluded (but not horror movie secluded) enough to ensure Woojin won’t be running into Jihoon nor Hyungseob whenever he goes on his 3 A.M. mini market runs.
To express his grievance, Woojin had sung not only one, but four ballad songs. Solo.
(“Daehwi, I’m desperate. Don’t you have anything like my situation in one of your novels? I’ll take any advice, even if it’s from a dude who’s got ‘Sparks’ as his surname.”
“Maybe, but I don’t think any of the leads were as hopeless as you. Can’t help you there, sorry.”)
Last but not least, and this is what Youngmin places last because he likes saving the best for last, is that he’s now heard Donghyun sing—and his singing voice is even better than his talking, humming, or sleep singing voice. (The last one is a thing, Youngmin can confirm.)
Donghyun’s chosen song is something titled ‘Hongdae Geondae’, a song that Youngmin’s listened to a couple of times before, but not necessarily on his music library. Still, Donghyun obviously likes the song, if the wide grin he wears as he sings the song is any indication.
That’s not really the most memorable thing though, cute as it is. No, what’s memorable is that Donghyun has a really, really nice voice, and it’s not just the vocal colour. The technique’s there too, and while he might not be as trained as Daehwi, who’s had vocal lessons nearly all his life, the talent is there. With a little bit more polishing, he could improve even more, and Youngmin knows that if anyone has boatloads of potential, it’s Kim Donghyun.
“Nice voice you’ve got there,” Daehwi compliments, meaning it sincerely.
“Thanks.” Donghyun’s smile is bashful, as if he’s not used to having people complimenting his voice, which is stupid. With a voice like that, the only thing he should be receiving is compliments.
“You know, we had a band once,” Woojin says, sounding casual even if he’d dropped a sudden bomb in the conversation. (Okay, maybe it’s just a bomb for Youngmin, who still feels guilty sometimes thinking of the would’ve, could’ve, should’ve for their little team. Daehwi and Woojin have probably gotten over it by now.)
Donghyun’s heard about the band, of course, because Youngmin’s told him nearly everything about his life story just as Donghyun’s told Youngmin is, but he still looks interested, perking up in his seat.
“I’ve heard, yeah.” Donghyun shoots a glance at Youngmin from the corner of his eyes. “Kind of a shame you guys aren’t together anymore. I’m sure you could’ve made great music.”
He doesn’t like the glint in Daehwi’s eyes. Not at all, because when Daehwi looks like he’s just gotten an idea, a majority of the time, the ideas are either pure genius or a recipe for disaster. “You know, we could always revive the band,” Daehwi tosses up conversationally, as if he was talking about the weather instead of bringing back the band. “Not everything succeeds on the first try.” Here, he pointedly looks at Youngmin, who’s suddenly finding the floor a very interesting subject.
“That doesn’t sound like a bad idea,” Woojin agrees, which shouldn’t be surprising at all because this is Woojin and he’s unlikely to give up on an idea even if it’s failed before. Or maybe Youngmin’s just being a total cynic about all this and needs to lighten up. “It wouldn’t hurt to try again.” And, again, another look is pointed Youngmin’s way.
Donghyun stifles his laughter into his palm. He probably enjoys seeing Youngmin looking so lost, and Youngmin hates him. (Not really.)
“I…” He raises his previously bowed head slowly, meeting the hopeful eyes of Daehwi and Woojin’s prompting ones. They’re expecting him to say ‘yes’, and then they’ll reconcile (as if they haven’t already, but this meaning they’ll start being a band again as if nothing ever happened), and maybe they’ll crash again and eventually the cycle will start all over again. Youngmin doesn’t know what to do. It’s not exactly a life or death situation or anything, but he still feels the burden of being their leader, because this means whatever he says now will have a domino effect for anything else that happens afterwards.
If he says yes, this means he’s giving them another shot. Maybe this time around they’ll work out and this whole band thing will pay off as well as it was originally planned to, but that has an equal chance of happening as things ending up the same way they did before. That means an extra week of awkward silences and half-hearted waves when they pass each other in the halls, coupled with the same guilt Youngmin feels whenever he thinks about the band.
On the other hand, if he says no, it might mean he’s trying to protect them from the possible negative damage—yet at the same time, it also indicates that he’s not willing to give them a second chance. The analogies make the band breakup seem more like a relationship breakup, though, and Youngmin isn’t that shocked because hadn’t he used a relationship analogy when breaking up the band the first time?
(Wait, wrong call. That was Daehwi.)
So, Youngmin gets an idea. It’s not crazy, not entirely, and he’s not sure how Donghyun will react to it. He’s got his fingers crossed that Donghyun will take it in stride and there won’t be any bitterness or resentment whatsoever, because whether this idea will work or not really depends on Donghyun, who’s still blissfully unaware of the plan that’s just finished formulating in Youngmin’s head.
“Let’s revive the band—” Amidst the cheers and high-fives, Youngmin clears his throat, and the two youngest quiet down once more, although their excitement is blatantly shown, “—but only if Donghyun joins us too. He plays bass and I’m sure having something new won’t hurt.” He tries to pass his words off as nonchalant, but Daehwi and Woojin share a look (that he can’t quite decipher and that’s a first) and Donghyun’s gaping at him like Youngmin’s grown two heads.
Not a good sign. Yellow light? Red light?
“It’s not called a revival for nothing, right?” Youngmin tries. Donghyun is… still gaping. “There’s got to be something different. Some new element,” he finishes, starting off confident but in the end of his tirade, only sounds small and more than a little unsure. “Like what DC did with the revival comics?”
(He really shouldn’t have said that. Youngmin’s the only one amongst the four of them who bothers to read the comics. The others stick to the cinematic universe, so not only was his reference essentially useless, now he’s going to get comments of ‘you’re still reading comics?’ from Woojin for at least a week. Nice going, Youngmin.)
“I have no idea what you just said,” Daehwi says bluntly, and Youngmin visibly deflates. “But.” At this, Youngmin perks up, head rushing back to glance upwards from its previous floor-appreciating angle. “I wouldn’t mind having Donghyun hyung in our band.”
Daehwi smiles at Donghyun, the same kind of smile he gives when he’s trying to make people feel comfortable. It works because it’s Daehwi and his smiles are as warm as tiny, little harmless suns. Youngmin doesn’t really know how warm said tiny suns are, of course, but he thinks he’s made a good estimation.
“It’d be cool to have you in our band,” Woojin adds helpfully, glancing at Donghyun with evident hope in his eyes. When Woojin turns on those eyes, the likehood of Donghyun accepting their offer has gone up by at least fifty percent.
“I don’t know, guys,” Donghyun tries, sounding unsure. His hands grip the surface of the couch, and Youngmin knows Donghyun’s got a tight grip—he’s sure there’ll be nail marks left, but nothing that a few minutes won’t erase. “I wouldn’t want to ruin your chemistry and all.”
Youngmin places a comforting hand on Donghyun’s shoulder. Donghyun doesn’t flinch away, he simply stays put, so Youngmin takes that as a good sign. “You wouldn’t be ruining anything,” he assures. “There wouldn’t be any harm in giving it a shot.”
Now, Donghyun’s faced with more than just Woojin’s puppy eyes and Daehwi’s surging hopefulness, because Youngmin’s there and he’s trying to lure Donghyun into the premise of being in the band while trying not to sound forceful or whatever. Having Donghyun in the band would be the deciding factor to whether or not Youngmin’s willing to try again (because as much as he likes Daehwi and Woojin, he thinks having a new variable would make the likehood of things turning out differently much higher), but at the same time, he’s not completely sure if Donghyun would be comfortable making music with two people he’s only known for less than three hours and Youngmin himself.
“You’re hard to refuse, you know that?” Donghyun chides, and Youngmin feels his worries dissolve, something not completely unlike relief settling in his chest.
Maybe this could work after all.
III.
"I am pleasantly located in the deep sea, but love will row you out, if her hands are strong, and don’t wait till I land, for I’m going ashore on the other side."
A Comprehensive List of Im Youngmin’s Problems, In No Particular Order:
His professor hates him.
He hasn’t started on the 5K essay due tonight.
The last time he’d eaten something not instant was two weeks ago.
Woojin’s still stuck in his love triangle. That means Youngmin’s still stuck listening to Woojin’s problems and not knowing how to help him solve them.
Hyungseob is mad at Woojin. It becomes Youngmin’s problem because of the same reason as his fourth problem.
Donghyun is an amazing person. This would not be a problem if Youngmin wasn’t an idiot and hadn’t gotten himself in love with the heterosexual bassist of his band. Now he has to worry about making sure Donghyun doesn’t find out about Youngmin’s feelings because it might ruin the band that is currently in its fragile state.
It might also ruin his friendship with Donghyun. This might be the biggest problem because Youngmin doesn’t want to lose Donghyun. Not now, not ever.
The band isn’t an immediate problem. They’re getting on their feet, and they’ve actually started making songs now. Daehwi composes for them, and they all work on the lyrics together. Their first gig is in two weeks, on Friday at Kang Daniel’s birthday party.
It’s a Big Deal (along with the capitalization and all) because Kang Daniel night be the biggest guy on campus right now for being the music department’s resident celebrity. He isn’t an idol, but he’s got a popular YouTube channel, and everyone knows he’s bound to be somebody as soon as he graduates. Daehwi knows Daniel through Samuel who’s friends with Seonho who’s friends with Guanlin who’s friends with Yongguk who’s friends with Daniel. Apparently, Daniel has a thing for ‘undiscovered talent’, and thinks it’d be a great idea for Brand New (that’s what they’re calling themselves) to perform at his birthday party. Daehwi accepted on the behalf of the band, and now they’ve got a week and a half to prepare.
They’re trying to make sure it won’t be a mess.
Youngmin meets Jihoon on a rainy Monday afternoon.
He only has morning classes on Monday (which is exactly the reason why he hates Mondays with a passion) and the band’s practice starts after nightfall, because Donghyun’s classes start late and Daehwi usually makes a home out of the library to study starting from 3PM onwards. Woojin’s hours are flexible, which is a code for he doesn’t really have much to do so he can start band practice any time. The good thing about Woojin is he also shares nearly the same class hours as Youngmin, so they walk together, sometimes. (They’d stopped doing that for a while after the band’s first breakup, but now they’ve gotten back to the habit of it, because Daehwi insists that team bonding is a vital part of becoming a successful band. Youngmin obeys Daehwi’s orders because Daehwi is terrifying when he needs to be. Woojin shares his sentiments.)
Right after his class ends, Youngmin meets Woojin in front of Woojin’s class, because Woojin’s ends ten minutes after his. He checks on his phone as he waits, scrolling through his Instagram feed and liking a few pictures as he does. One of those pictures is Donghyun’s most recent post, a picture of Donghyun posing in front of the café Youngmin frequents. Youngmin had taken the photo, and he remembers having a hard time focusing on getting his hands to not shake instead of staring (too long) at the carefree curl of Donghyun’s grin.
It’d been a difficult task, to say the least.
Woojin always ends up leaving his class at the end, so when a flurry of freshmen rush outside the classroom and Youngmin doesn’t see Woojin immediately, he doesn’t make much of it. Apparently, Woojin enjoys not having to be squeezed through a crowd of students enthusiastic to leave, so he likes to stay behind for a few minutes, packing his bags with slow, relaxed movements and listening to music while he’s at it. Youngmin can’t say he doesn’t relate, because he’s the one who’d inspired Woojin to do that in the first place.
It’s only when the students stop stumbling out of the room and there’s still no sign of Woojin that Youngmin starts to worry. Woojin is not difficult to spot because he’s the only one with red hair in his year, so Youngmin couldn’t have missed him.
His worries halt when he hears the familiar noise of Woojin’s laughter from inside the room, so he cancels out his previous plan of calling Woojin’s friends. Instead, he peers inside the classroom, noting that only the professor and two students are left inside the cream-shaded room. One of those students is Woojin, who doesn’t have his earphones on and is currently laughing at something his friend’s saying.
(Said friend turns out to be Park Jihoon. It takes Youngmin a few tries to place him, but soon enough, he remembers the face that his yearmates had been talking about in the beginning of the school year. A conventional pretty boy who is also a walking fashion disaster had been the way they’d described him. Youngmin now sees why they call him that, because this is the first time he’s seen someone wear neon green stripes on a pink shirt.)
“You should’ve seen the look on his face,” Jihoon is saying, hands waved up in the air in animated motion, “it was the first time I’ve seen him look so distraught. I felt pretty bad. I was only joking around, but he took it so seriously.”
“And whose fault is that?” Woojin’s grin is nearly shark-like, but Youngmin attests that’s because his snaggletooth is showing.
“Mine,” finishes Jihoon on a glum note, but he perks up as soon as Woojin extends his right hand forward, index finger poking Jihoon’s cheek in a fond manner. Youngmin suddenly feels like he’s intruding a private moment (also, he didn’t even know Woojin had it in him and he’s pseudo proud but also confused because he thought Woojin was still in that love triangle?) but it’s too late to turn back because Woojin soon spots him. If Woojin is surprised or disturbed, he doesn’t show it.
“There will be no canoodling in my classroom,” the professor reminds them from his seat, and Jihoon goes beet red. Woojin’s blushing too, but to a lesser extent.
“Youngmin hyung!” Woojin says instead of acknowledging his professor’s warning. Might not be the best move, considering the stink eye the professor gives Woojin afterwards. “Let’s go grab some lunch. Jihoon can come, right?”
“Uh, sure. Why not.” Jihoon’s face loses some of its previous embarrassment and instead it brightens up, as if Youngmin’s just complimented him though the reality is that Youngmin’s only given him the green light to eat with him and Woojin. It doesn’t take Youngmin long to discover that Jihoon’s a particularly animated person because of it—a little easy to read, too, and that goes against what Daehwi had said about Park Jihoon being ‘a manipulative bastard when he wants to be.’
Finding a place to eat is easier said than done because it’s raining and Youngmin doesn’t carry an umbrella with him. Neither does Woojin and Jihoon, judging by the slightly panicked expression on Woojin’s face and the frown that Jihoon wears.
“I’d say we make a run for it, but I don’t think that’s the best idea,” Youngmin says. His eyes scan through the droplets of rain, trying to make sense of the quickest route they could use to get to the campus cafeteria.
“Why don’t we order an Uber?” Jihoon suggests, much to Youngmin’s silent horror, because that means they’d have to pay extra and Youngmin’s already barely getting by with what he has. And he walks around campus.
Woojin notices Youngmin’s distress, evidently, because he purses his lips and shakes his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. The cafeteria’s not that far from here, it’d be a waste.”
“If you say so.” Jihoon shrugs, pocketing the phone he was readily holding a few seconds ago.
Then, the unthinkable happens. (By unthinkable, Youngmin means it’s a sign that the world must hate him, because now he feels like he’s stuck in a scene that comes straight out of a teen drama from the early 90s.)
“Woojinie, is that you?”
Youngmin recognizes the voice immediately, of course. It’s Ahn Hyungseob, one of Woojin’s earliest friends in campus. By extension, he’s Youngmin’s friend too, though the both of them haven’t spoken since they don’t actively seek each other—different crowds and everything. In any other occasion, Youngmin would be glad that Hyungseob’s around, because while they aren’t the closest friends, Hyungseob is a ball of sunshine and is generally a good influence on Woojin who’s more of a realist than anything. However, the whole ‘love triangle’ thing is still going on, and Hyungseob has just stumbled on Woojin and Jihoon together. Youngmin’s there too, of course, but he’s going to be the fourth wheel in this situation. Probably.
This is an impending mess, and Youngmin kind of wants to dash across campus and leave the three of them alone. The only reason he stays is because Woojin sends Youngmin a pleading look that’s downright pitiful, but the kid needs his moral support and if Woojin’s going to lament to him about this later, it’ll probably be easier on the both of them if Youngmin sticks around and sees the situation unfold himself.
So, Youngmin stays, albeit with much reluctance on his part.
“Hi, Hyungseob,” Woojin greets the other with an awkward smile on his part. It looks tense, but then again, Youngmin would probably be worse if he was in Woojin’s position. Good thing Youngmin’s never been stuck in a love triangle, and right now, his love life resembles a tragedy of something that ended before it ever even started. (With Donghyun, nothing’s ever going to start, he’s sure. Youngmin’s just being realistic about all this.)
“Oh. Jihoon too.” Hyungseob visibly deflates at the sight of Jihoon and Woojin together, and the image is even worse because Jihoon’s leaning on Woojin maybe a little heavier than needed. Obviously, Jihoon’s not very pleased about all this, and Woojin looks plainly uncomfortable. “Youngmin hyung, you’re here too!” Hyungseob fakes his enthusiasm with an exaggerated wave directed towards Youngmin. He returns the wave with a small smile, nodding to acknowledge Hyungseob’s presence.
“I didn’t know you had classes today,” Woojin mumbles, looking at anywhere but Hyungseob.
It’s been a while since the both of them really talked, or at least, that’s what Woojin’s told him. Ever since Woojin stopped hiding out at Daehwi’s place—more like since he got kicked out by Daehwi himself—Woojin has only been hanging out with Jihoon rather than Hyungseob. “It’s not running away,” Woojin had stated, but Youngmin thinks the reason why Woojin stopped talking to Hyungseob is because a rumor had gone around about Hyungseob becoming ‘a thing’ with another kid named Euiwoong who studies politics.
The only reason why the love triangle’s still a thing, even after all that, is because a ‘private source’ told Woojin that Euiwoong and Hyungseob are just childhood friends and Hyungseob’s still upset at Woojin avoiding him only to show up everywhere around campus with Park Jihoon on his trail.
Basically, it’s messy as fuck.
“I don’t,” Hyungseob is quick to correct. “I was just going to meet Woongie. He’s the one who has a class today.” Woojin’s face falls at the admission (and probably the pet name). On the contrary, Jihoon looks smug.
“Woongie, huh?” Woojin whispers under his breath. Hyungseob notices his slip up immediately, eyes growing wide with surprise.
“Y-Yeah, Woongie. That’s, um, Euiwoong.”
Woojin smiles. It’s a little painful to see. “I know.”
Hyungseob seems to realize how awkward the situation has gotten, so he stumbles on his own steps, and Woojin reaches out with a hand to steady his shoulders. Both of their faces turn red. Jihoon is, evidently, unpleased.
“I should really go now!” Hyungseob says in a rush, the words coming out seemingly faster than his mouth’s movements. “I’ll see you, Woojinie! And, and uh—” by this point, Youngmin worries if Hyungseob will trip over his own two feet, considering the panic he’s going through as he attempts to run away (literally) from the situation. “Bye, Jihoon and Youngmin hyung!”
Just like that, he’s gone. It’s also the beginning of Youngmin’s impending headache, because this is going to be the only thing Woojin will talk to him about for the next two days. Why.
juliet (00:14): are u awake
paca hyung (00:14): YES
paca hyung (00:15): i mean yes
paca hyung (00:15): sorry my caps key was on
juliet (00:16): do i wanna know why??
paca hyung (00:16): um
(Nice going, Youngmin. How eloquent.)
juliet (00:17): haha kidding!!!
juliet (00:18): why are you awake though it’s late >:(
paca hyung (00:18): shouldn’t i ask the same for you
paca hyung (00:19): but i’m writing lyrics
juliet (00:19): do you want to write with me?
paca hyung (00:20): it’s late though
juliet (00:20): we’re literally an elevator ride away…
juliet (00:20): ok i get it you don’t want to spend time with me is that it i
juliet (00:21): haha kidding im not that clingy
paca hyung (00:21): sorry
paca hyung (00:22): but if the offer’s still up you can drop by
paca hyung (00:22): i mean if you want to
paca hyung (00:23): i messed it up didn’t i
paca hyung (00:24): donghyun?
Much to his own surprise (and delight), Youngmin didn’t mess it up. Donghyun still shows up in front of Youngmin’s apartment, and he’s still smiling like nothing’s wrong. It’s the Donghyun Smile, and it’s the smile that makes Youngmin fall for Donghyun all over again before he gives himself a sharp reminder of the reality that is, he can pine for Donghyun all he wants for as long as he’d like and in the end, Youngmin still won’t have a chance. Joy.
“I thought you weren’t coming anymore,” Youngmin says, still flustered by Donghyun’s sudden appearance. Donghyun hadn’t bothered to dress up, which is good, because if he had then Youngmin would’ve been more embarrassed about having Donghyun show up while he’s wearing his The Force Awaken themed pajamas.
“Says who?” Donghyun responds curtly, hands crossed over his chest but the pose doesn’t look intimidating on him at all. “Let’s get some food.”
“Is there a place still open at this hour?” Youngmin’s brows furrow. It’s nearly one in the morning. Even the pizzerias have closed up.
“McDonalds, duh,” Donghyun says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world and Youngmin’s the only one not getting it. “It’ll be my treat. I know you haven’t eaten properly in a while,” the last part is admitted quietly. So quiet that if Youngmin hadn’t strained his ears, he wouldn’t have heard it.
The concern is touching, and Youngmin might be feeling something akin to butterflies (yuck, much?), but it’s really just Donghyun being a generally good bro and paying attention to Youngmin’s unhealthy eating pattern. There’s nothing romantic behind it, obviously. Just like everything else in their friendship, the whole ‘I know you haven’t eaten properly’ thing is completely, irrevocably platonic.
(God, he’s pitiful.)
“You noticed?” Youngmin can barely hear his own voice over the loud beating of his heart. He hopes his face isn’t as red as the tomatoes from his farm.
Donghyun stares at him oddly.
“Of course I did,” he says. His voice is soft, and his eyes are open and caring. “You don’t think it’s noticeable how you always smell like instant food? On good days, they smell like something microwaveable.”
“The cologne doesn’t cover it up?”
“Shut up, you don’t even wear cologne.”
Neither of them really talk afterwards. Donghyun’s still standing outside the frame of his door, and Youngmin is staring at Donghyun, pointedly avoiding the other’s lips. He settles for his eyes, and that’s not much better. Maybe it’d be better if Youngmin stares at his nose? That’s hardly distracting, right?
“So, do you want to go?” Donghyun reminds them of his agenda, and Youngmin shrugs.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah, okay.”
The McDonalds they go to isn’t crowded at all. Inside the place that’s decked in red-and-yellow furniture, the only people there are the employees and four people, and Youngmin recognizes none of them.
“I’ll order for us. What do you want?” Donghyun asks, easily detaching the arm he’d previously linked with Youngmin. (Yeah, they were linking arms. Youngmin’s just glad they went out at night. That way, his blush hadn’t been as obvious as it would’ve been had the sun been shining on them that time.)
“Cheeseburger’s fine,” Youngmin says, because he hasn’t really tried anything else other than that. Woojin considers Youngmin’s lack of experience in fast food an atrocity, but it’s not Youngmin’s fault that he doesn’t want to get addicted to something that is, obviously, unhealthy as fuck.
“Want some fries with that?” Donghyun offers. “McDonalds’ fries are the best.”
Youngmin says, “Okay then,” because he trusts Donghyun’s judgment enough for that. It might not look like it, but Donghyun has ‘refined taste’ (or so Donghyun says). Youngmin knows that because he’s found Donghyun’s old food blog that he used to run back in high school and he had a fun time reading through his old ‘foodventures’, as high school Donghyun called it. Obviously, Donghyun doesn’t know that piece of information, and Youngmin doesn’t plan to tell him because explaining why Youngmin had been cyber-stalking Donghyun would be one long, embarrassing explanation and Youngmin’s a terrible liar. Donghyun would figure out Youngmin’s feelings right away and no one wants that.
By the time Donghyun returns with their food, Youngmin already has his notebook out and his fingers have his well-worn pen in their grip. The page is opened to the latest song Youngmin’s working on, and it’s about the current state of his life.
In other words, the lyrics are depressing.
“Can I read that?” Donghyun inquires through a mouthful of chicken nuggets. His cheeks resemble a squirrel’s like this.
“It’s not finished,” Youngmin argues, and it’s a weak argument, but at the same time he really doesn’t need Donghyun to read this when he’s got an entire verse on his feelings for Donghyun. Unrequited, sad, and hopelessly mopey. “Besides, I’ve shown you some of my lyrics before. You’ve never shown me yours.”
Donghyun frowns. “True, but my lyrics aren’t as good as yours.”
“That’s what you say. I haven’t even seen any to confirm nor deny that.” Youngmin pops some fries into his mouth. It’s salty, but he hopes that’s because of the salt rather than having the workers’ sweat laced within. That’d be gross and unhygienic and he’s probably sucking away all the fun out of eating fries because of his overthinking.
“Okay, fine,” Donghyun grumbles. Youngmin wonders if he’s heard that right, if Donghyun has really just agreed to show Youngmin his work. “Wait.” He wipes his greasy hands onto the tissue on his tray and slides over his notebook to Youngmin’s side of the table. “I only accept compliments and constructive criticism.”
There’s an undertone of anxiety to Donghyun’s words, as if he’s afraid Youngmin will start talking trash about his work. It hurts Youngmin, only a little bit, because he would’ve thought that Donghyun knows by now that Youngmin would rather step on a lego instead of hurting his friends’ feelings. He doesn’t say anything about it though, only giving a small smile (it’s a little strained around the edges and he hopes Donghyun doesn’t notice) and flipping the red-covered binder open to the first page.
“Ugh, this is embarrassing,” Donghyun continues to mutter. He’s even stopped munching on his nuggets. Youngmin would bet that if he looks up now, he’d see Donghyun gauging him for his reaction. Maybe even expecting the worst of it.
(Yeah, right. Youngmin would rather eat his own fist than insult Donghyun and his work.)
He doesn’t know what he was expecting in Donghyun’s binder. Maybe something more on the upbeat and positive side of things, because that’s the kind of person Donghyun is. The kind of person Youngmin knows him as, at least.
Whatever it is, he hadn’t been expecting the first page to be filled with scratches and barely legible writing. Youngmin takes a minute or two to read through the whole page and then read it all over again just to understand it, and it’s only on his fifth read that the writing begins to seam together, when the lyrics start to take form.
It’s a love song. At least, it’s structured as one, and the lyrics are romantic. There’s no way these lyrics are about something platonic, and Youngmin looks at the date (Donghyun is systematic about these things) to check when Donghyun had written this: it’s January 1st 2017, meaning it has been months since that was written.
If Donghyun’s writing it based on his real life feelings (and who is Youngmin kidding, because the lyrics are heartfelt and they make him feel jealous because of someone he doesn’t even have a chance with), there’s probably a chance that they aren’t together anymore. Youngmin might be a terrible person for thinking this, but a part of him hopes Donghyun isn’t with the person he wrote this about anymore. He doesn’t like himself for thinking this because one of these days Donghyun is going to find someone (who is a girl and therefore most definitely not Im Youngmin) and Youngmin’s going to end up alone because he can’t seem to move on from his friend.
A classic fairytale ending, Youngmin styled.
“The lyrics are interesting,” Youngmin says, faking a conversational tone to see what that brings him. “They’re heartfelt.” That part is honest. Donghyun’s mouth opens slightly, eyes alight in recognition as he understands which song Youngmin must be talking about.
“Yeah.” Donghyun chuckles, a tender smile on his lips. “They are. I wrote that for my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend now, I guess.”
“You must’ve loved her a lot.” Youngmin doesn’t know why he’s saying all of this. He wants to put on duct tape on his own damned self, because he doesn’t know when to shut up, does he? At least Donghyun doesn’t look like he’s mad at Youngmin for saying that, and that is somewhat a reassurance that Youngmin hadn’t prodded too far.
Surprisingly, Donghyun scoffs.
“Nah, I didn’t. It was puppy love more than anything. We were high school sweethearts, but it didn’t work out the way we wanted it to in college. Shit happened and people change, you know? One day we talked about it and we ended it. Figured neither of us really loved each other,” Donghyun confesses, sounding like he’s talking about the weather instead of his past relationship.
Youngmin admires that about him, because Youngmin never fails to stutter and basically get his nerves ridden with anxiety whenever people expect him to talk about a failed relationship. Maybe it’s because he tends to shoulder the blame for that, just as he shoulders the blame for everything else that crashes and burns in his life. Maybe this is the reason why he’s glum when compared to his lackadaisical friends.
“That happens,” Youngmin says after a beat of silence. He isn’t really sure about what else he’s supposed to say. ‘Good thing you’re not in a relationship anymore because I’m kind of in love with you? Or maybe in like?’ is obviously not what he should be responding with.
“Yeah.” Donghyun laughs. Suddenly, he sounds weary. All Youngmin wants to do is hug him and tell him that he’s too young to be laughing like he’s already tired of the short lifespan he’s living now. “It does.”
Daehwi stops coming to practice five days before Kang Daniel’s birthday.
This is a Very Big problem because without Daehwi, there will be no one left to play the keyboard and Donghyun will be the only one singing. Not to mention Daehwi plays a vital role to the band as their morale booster because the other three are ‘sullen and depressing all the time except for Donghyun who is sullen and depressing sometimes.’
The problem escalates when Daehwi doesn’t pick up any of their calls, plus a public phone number.
“What if he’s kidnapped?” Donghyun’s voice shakes at the end, and he’s gripping his couch with enough pressure to make his hands grow pale. “When was the last time the two of you saw him? I saw him two days ago, and he seemed fine but then again I only saw him in passing and I should’ve been more observant—”
“Donghyun, stop.” Youngmin grips Donghyun’s shoulders, forcing him to stop the previous squirming he’d been doing. He feels Donghyun slacken in his hold, but that’s not exactly a good thing either because Donghyun now just looks plain defeated. “We should just go to his house. He’s probably there, holed up in his room the way he always is whenever he’s down.”
“Yeah, but he usually picks up our calls,” Woojin mumbles, face set in a sullen pinch.
“He probably needed some time for himself,” Youngmin points out. “Or maybe he just overslept. It’s late and maybe he had a hard time in class.”
Woojin and Donghyun look at him like he’s grown another head and then some. This is because Daehwi is probably the most responsible person in their team. He doesn’t even need an alarm to wake up (apparently his body clock is strong) and yet sets one up anyway as a just in case. Not to mention, Daehwi is almost always the one to get them to rehearse whenever they complain (although most of the complaining is on Woojin’s part, a fact that Youngmin will never forget to remind.)
They cancel practice for the day and set out for Daehwi’s house ‘in the middle of nowhere’ which isn’t really a middle of nowhere because it’s still Seoul and he still has neighbours and a 7-Eleven. Donghyun is the one who pays for their Uber and Woojin is the one who gives them directions. Youngmin’s there to supervise and make sure none of them start hyperventilating because of their rampant imaginations of Daehwi’s kidnapping, which isn’t the case they have in hand because Youngmin’s gut feeling says otherwise.
(Yes, Youngmin trusts his gut. It’s reliable, trustworthy, and the last time he hadn’t listened to it, he ended up being stuck upside-down dangling from a tree. It was humiliating.)
Daehwi’s house seems occupied and that’s a good reason as any for them to stop overthinking as the patio lights are still on and the curtains are drawn. Daehwi’s car is parked there too, a Volkswagen Beetle spray-painted yellow with pink stripes that Daehwi technically can’t drive yet he still keeps around anyway. Still, the house makes it seem like Daehwi’s still there, and Youngmin thinks it’s a small comfort although Woojin has started whispering things about alien abductions and replication androids.
(Youngmin’s going to have a talk about whatever it is that Woojin’s been watching—perhaps too much—later.)
They knock, but nobody opens the door. So, they knock again, and this time Youngmin even shouts, “Daehwi, open the door!”
The shout was not a good idea because now some of the neighbours who’d been throwing a barbecue lawn party are glaring at them like they’ve ruined their collective nights. Technically, that’s exactly what they’re doing.
Even so, they knock again, and Woojin even sings a song at Daehwi’s door. Donghyun proceeds to apologize to the neighbours for Woojin’s atrocious act that he calls singing, and the neighbours soften up after that because Donghyun has the face (and voice) of an angel, and who can stay mad when he’s apologizing to them? Not the neighbours, that’s who.
“Maybe he’s not here,” Donghyun eventually says, eyes clouded and downcast.
“No, let’s try one more time,” Youngmin urges, stubborn despite himself. He raps his knuckles onto the redwood door, loudly and letting the sound rattle amidst Woojin’s mumbles how this might not be his brightest idea.
No one opens the door.
As they leave, Youngmin sees one of the lights from a room on the second story flicker and die.
paca hyung (22:10): daehwi where were you?
paca hyung (22:10): we only have a few days left until the performance
paca hyung (22:11): did something happen?
paca hyung (22:12): are you alright?
paca hyung (22:30): daehwi?
paca hyung (23:33): i hope you’re not responding because you’re just asleep
paca hyung (23:34): talk to me tomorrow
On the following day, there’s still no response.
A Revised List of Im Youngmin’s Problems, Still in No Particular Order:
He’s going to fail his musical theory quiz tomorrow.
The countdown to Kang Daniel’s birthday is like a Doomsday countdown that is unavoidable (because unfortunately you can’t ask someone to change their birthday) and things are going to spiral from the ‘bad’ zone to the ‘holy shit this is terrible’ zone in less than four days.
Daehwi’s still MIA and he’s not responding to anyone’s messages or calls, even his other friends’ and Bae Jinyoung’s.
His crush on Donghyun has gotten even worse and Youngmin will end up alone, raising at least thirty cats during his mid-life crisis.
There’s no instant food left in his fridge and he’s starving.
Life is a bitch and Youngmin thinks there's a high possibility that he might hate his.
As the shitstorm that is his life unfolds, Youngmin takes a few minutes to call his parents. It has been a while, considering the last few months of his life have been some of the most hectic and he’s the type to forget contacting someone until it has been literal months and only then does he realize that humans have yet to evolve to reading minds and until that day, communication is the key to maintaining a relationship.
He’s still not Professor X from X-Men and thus, still needs to actually call his parents to know how they’re doing. So, he does the thing, and he’s glad that his parents have gotten the same model of the phone as him instead of sticking with their old bulky (and freakishly strong) Nokias. Durable those things might be, but the camera quality is crap and video calling, for that device, is a thing of the future.
Before pressing the ‘call’ button, Youngmin makes sure his room is clean, and any trace of whatever incriminating activities he does (there’s nothing but Woojin likes to leave behind his comics for whatever reason and his father doesn’t really approve of comics) is safely hidden away. By safely hidden away, he really means he has them piled together underneath his bed, but it’s not like he’s going to facetime them showcasing the hidden parts of his bed. If Youngmin doesn’t do that with his friends, then the likehood of him doing that with his parents is less than none.
“Youngmin! We were wondering when you’d call,” his father starts off their conversation, the camera capturing the tomato fields behind him. Youngmin wishes he was there, just helping his father with the tomatoes and leaving behind the problems caused by college such as the band’s low morale and also some guy named Kim Donghyun that he’s halfway in love with, but the world isn’t a wish granting factory.
“Sorry,” Youngmin apologizes sheepishly, all pretense of confidence gone whenever he gets the opportunity to speak with his parents. They can read him like an open book, the same way most parents can to their children. Putting on a bravado is futile.
“Is everything alright?” His mother, ever so perceptive and always knowing whenever Youngmin’s anything but okay, gently prods.
“Um,” Youngmin says like the intelligent creature he is. “Nothing catastrophic’s happening or anything. Just… some things are bothering me, I guess?”
His parents share a worried look. Youngmin watches them with something akin to guilt clawing into his chest. The first time he calls them in a while and he’s making them worry. Nice going, Youngmin.
“You know we’re always here to listen, son.” His father’s brow are set in worry, his mother squeezing his father’s bicep as a way to ground him.
“And if you don’t think we can help, I’m sure you can talk to your friends,” adds his mother, and Youngmin tries not to laugh because if the problem is about his friends then how is he supposed to talk to them about it?
He holds himself from saying anything potentially hurtful or snide. There’s no reason to make his parents think he has an attitude problem whatsoever, no matter how incapable he is at dealing with his own problems and a need to take his frustration out on someone is just there, currently dormant and relatively harmless, but has a possibility of acting up like a ticking time bomb.
“Okay. I love you.”
Two days after Daehwi’s sudden disappearance, he returns to practice, but there’s something off about him that sets Youngmin on alert.
“Hey guys,” Daehwi greets them as he sets his backpack on a free table. When he smiles, it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Daehwi, where have you been?” He finds himself asking, and inwardly cringes at how blunt he’s being. Great job, Youngmin. The first time the kid shows his face on the planet in more than 24 hours and instead of asking if he’s alright, he’s already being bombarded by the question that everyone has been asking. It wouldn’t hurt if he’d a little more tact, but the question is asked, and the damage is done.
“In my room,” becomes Daehwi’s prompt answer. He’s probably being honest, because Daehwi isn’t the best liar and something within Youngmin tells him that Daehwi is stating the truth. “I heard you guys when you tried to come over. I’m sorry I didn’t answer the door,” he apologizes, as if Youngmin, Woojin, and Donghyun would be more concerned over Daehwi not opening his door rather than Daehwi’s very own wellbeing.
“Were you…” Donghyun trails off, and he is peering at Daehwi in concern. “Okay?”
“Not really,” Daehwi breathes, and Woojin is there in an instant, looping an arm around Daehwi’s shoulders. Daehwi leans into Woojin, letting Woojin guide him into the couch, letting Woojin help him sit down.
Youngmin has a feeling this is a story better told seated, so he takes the seat across Woojin and Daehwi’s. Barely a few seconds later, Donghyun joins him, the weight of the loveseat giving out slightly.
“I haven’t been completely honest with you, when I was telling stories about my trip to see my mom.” For some reason, Daehwi’s voice cracks at the word ‘mom’, and Youngmin exchanges a look of perturbation with Donghyun.
A beat of silence ensues. Youngmin, Donghyun, and Woojin wait for Daehwi to continue—none of them are to say anything, and Youngmin fears if he says the wrong thing Daehwi wouldn’t tell them anything at all. Trust plays an important part in friendship. Youngmin might not confide to Daehwi and Woojin about his little crush on Donghyun, but he shares with the three of them about his fear of not being good enough to be successful in the musical field the same way Woojin laments to them about his dramatic love life and Donghyun confesses he’s always scared of not measuring up to his team brother.
For the longest time, Daehwi has been that person in the group, the one who rarely speaks to them about whatever’s troubling him. Maybe it’s because he’s used to keeping all the big problems to himself—apparently that’s something in common between child prodigies—and only sharing the mundane, petty and sometimes irrelevant problems with his friends.
A prime example would be how none of them know what Daehwi fears but they know he gets annoyed whenever Jinyoung sticks too close to Jihoon even if Woojin can confirm the one Jihoon likes is him, or how Daehwi hates it when his orders are messed up in restaurants but he never says anything because he doesn’t want to trouble the workers. All of them are real problems and they’re little snippets of Daehwi, but whenever a certain problem is big (as in possibly life-changing big), Daehwi keeps to himself.
Youngmin sees this as a leap of trust. (Or faith. Whatever.) It’s up to Daehwi whether he wants to take it or not, but if he does, his three friends will be waiting for him on the other side.
“On the last day I was in New York, the morning before I went to the airport, I talked to my mom,” Daehwi starts, voice laced with unease and doubt. “I… I told her I was gay.” He cringes at the end of his sentence, as if he expects the three of them to start throwing crosses at holy water at him in the name of God. Of course, none of that happens, because to the three of them that piece of information isn’t exactly new. Daehwi isn’t exactly subtle about his relationship with Jinyoung.
Woojin’s grip on Daehwi tightens, his thumb drawing abstract patterns on Daehwi’s shoulder.
“How did she take it?” Donghyun asks, the sound of his voice a near whisper.
“Not very well.” Daehwi laughs an empty laugh, one that’s devoid of any humour whatsoever. “She told me she needed some time to process the information, but she didn’t see me off at the airport like she usually does. She just… she locked herself up in the room, she wasn’t even there when I wanted to say goodbye when my cab arrived.”
Daehwi doesn’t shed any tears, doesn’t even sound sad. He’s even smiling, although it’s devoid of warmth and resembles the jagged end of a knife.
“I got over that a couple of days later.” An image pops up in Youngmin’s head, memories of Daehwi walking around campus with hunched shoulders and frame hidden beneath oversized jackets, of that Daehwi wearing watery smiles and red-rimmed eyes. He’d known something wasn’t right at the time, but Daehwi always waved him off, and now he regrets not bothering to stick around and make sure if he was really okay—because nothing about that Daehwi was fine, and Youngmin still believed in the white lie, even assuming that it’d been because of a movie or whatever instead of it being the serious problem it really is. He should’ve tried harder to break through Daehwi’s walls, and he’s so deeply rooted in his own self-loath that he only snaps back into reality once he feels warmth on his knee.
That’s Donghyun, placing a hand on Youngmin’s knee, because he must’ve noticed the tensing of Youngmin’s limbs and the grimace that twisted his lips. Calm down, Donghyun mouths at him, the warm chocolate of his eyes meeting Youngmin’s own.
Youngmin takes a deep breath, inhaling through his nose, and when he exhales, he tries one of those tricks he’s always seen on those meditation videos where he imagines he’s taking away all of his problems with him.
It isn’t a 100% success, but he does feel some of the tension melt away, and his body relaxes. Donghyun must’ve noticed, but he keeps his palm on Youngmin’s knee still, as if that’s the anchor Youngmin might need.
(It is.)
“Three days ago,” he continues, “I got a text from her. I thought it would’ve been something more along the lines of ‘hey I’ve come to terms with your sexuality now so introduce me to your boyfriend!’ or something like that, but I got something different.
"She told me I didn’t need to come to her New Year’s Eve party, the one she holds every year with her co-workers and friends. And family too, but I guess I don’t even fit that criteria anymore.” Daehwi scoffs, and when he looks at the others’ eyes, a deep frown settles on his lips. “Don’t look at me like that. I don’t need to be pitied.”
“It’s not pity,” Youngmin protests immediately. “We’re just worried, Daehwi. There’s a difference. Locking yourself away and not answering to anyone’s messages tends to do that to people.”
Daehwi shifts in his seat, squirming a little against Woojin’s airtight grip. A heavy sigh is released. “…You’re right. I’m sorry, I really am. I shouldn’t have made you worry like that.”
“As long as you don’t do it again.” Donghyun’s gaze softens. “Tell us if you’re having a hard time. We’re your friends, Daehwi. That’s what friends are for, aren’t they?”
“You’re right,” Daehwi agrees, and Youngmin’s relieved to see that the smile Daehwi wears now is like Daehwi’s usual smile. Bright and genuine. “Let’s get back to practice! We need to make up for lost time—and get off me, Woojin, your grip’s making it hard to breathe.”
Donghyun decides to crash at Youngmin’s place that night because his roommate’s girlfriend is coming over and after seeing sock being stuck on the handle of the door, he doesn’t want to take any chances. Youngmin can make an entire list of why Donghyun staying over is a Bad Idea, some of those reasons being:
There’s nothing to eat. Youngmin knows Donghyun’s not the biggest on instant noodles and aside from that, the only thing Youngmin has in his fridge is cereal. That wouldn’t be a problem if he had non-expired milk, but Youngmin hasn’t checked on that in a while. Donghyun doesn’t seem to be the type who eats cereal without milk. Youngmin doesn’t want to take the risk.
He doesn’t have his couch. At the moment it’s being sent back to Busan because his parents want to switch it with the one at their house. His new couch arrives the day after tomorrow because naturally, he is timing’s worst enemy.
That leaves the choice to let Donghyun sleep on the floor, his dining chair, or his bed.
Obviously, he’s going to choose the last option because Youngmin has some manners. But that decision leaves a new problem entirely, which is, where is Youngmin going to sleep?
Donghyun says Youngmin should just sleep on the bed, and they could share the bed because it’s queen-sized and can fit the both of them. Because Youngmin doesn’t want to wake up with a rickety back, he agrees, and now the realization that he’s going to share a bed with Donghyun has just settled in and holy shit he’s going to sleep on the same bed as Kim Donghyun.
In conclusion, Youngmin is screwed.
The water is cold by the time Youngmin takes a shower, though little of that is because of Donghyun’s showering habits and more because he hasn’t paid for the heater in a while. It does enough to shock him out of whatever thoughts he’d had, because the cold when mixed with the night air makes his limbs feel like they’re freezing. Youngmin is quick to get out of the shower, although he doesn’t forget to wash his hair first. He tries to do all of that in record time because having greasy hair feels uncomfortable and he wants to smell less akin of exhaustion and sweat and more soap and cleanliness around Donghyun.
He wraps the towel (dark grey with no patterns and what Woojin dubs as Youngmin’s ‘grown up towel’ whatever that’s supposed to mean) around his waist, hair still wet and feet determined to get him to his closet as fast as possible. Outside the bathroom it’s even colder because at least the bathroom isn’t air conditioned, unlike Youngmin’s slightly cramped bedroom.
“Youngmin hyung, is that you?” Donghyun calls out from the living room, pausing whatever it is he’d been watching on the television. He’s moved one of the dining chairs to the front of the television (after getting Youngmin’s permission) and is currently sprawled out, looking as comfortable as someone can be while sitting on an uncomfortable chair.
“Yeah,” Youngmin returns, and before he can shut the door (does he want Donghyun to see him half-naked? Not really), Donghyun’s shouting something about ‘wait’, and a few moments later he’s in front of Youngmin’s door. The only thing that seperates them is the doorframe, and Youngmin unconsciously steps further inside his room, determined to put as much distance between them as possible without it being rude.
“Do you want me to put on a movie? I think we can watch some, right?” Donghyun asks hopefully, practically beaming up at Youngmin. “I saw you had a couple of musicals in your collection and it’s been a while since I’ve watched one.”
Youngmin’s throat feels dry. Maybe this is because he’s half-naked in front of Donghyun who seems to be too focused on the movies to realize that Youngmin hasn’t dressed yet.
“Sure,” he agrees easily, all too ready to close the door and get himself into some proper clothes.
He starts wondering if he’d said something wrong (which would be weird because he’s pretty shre he’s only been speaking one-syllable words) when Donghyun’s smile melts away and he just freezes in his steps. It’s not until Youngmin realizes that Donghyun has his eyes trained on his bare torso that Youngmin realizes why, and when he does, he feels heat creep up his neck.
God, this is awkward.
“Uh.” Because Youngmin is brilliant with words, that’s all he says, and he even sounds dumbfounded while he’s saying it. All he wants to do is crawl under the covers of his bed and sleep until the gig (and after that go to sleep again) because Donghyun seems to be shell-shocked after seeing his body. Is there something wrong with it? Are there still hints of the tattoo he’d gotten back in freshman year on a drunken whim? (It’s removed now, but maybe there’s still traces of it left behind? Just maybe?)
“Sorry,” Donghyun pipes out, the sound of his voice slightly higher than usual. “I’ll just… go.”
Just like that, Donghyun’s gone in a flash, leaving Youngmin confused at whatever it is that just transpired.
He gets dressed, but it’s a clumsy endeavor as his fingers tremble and his heart feels like it’s beating a million miles per hour. There’s a calming effect that comes with the act of putting on clothes, though, so by the time he slides his trainers up, he’s significantly calmed down and his cheeks aren’t red anymore—just the tips of his ears, a searing shade of red.
Donghyun refuses to look at him when Youngmin joins him in the living room, pulling up another chair beside him. This isn’t the most comfortable movie watching position by far, because the chair’s stiff and there’s no place to lay down on, but it beats sitting on the floor. (Only slightly.)
“Are we going to watch the movie?” Youngmin asks after he can’t stand the tense, awkward silence anymore, and Donghyun nods weakly. He sets up the DVD, and Youngmin catches glimpse of the movie Donghyun picked. ‘Sing Street’, a movie Youngmin hasn’t watched in a while, but he remembers some of it—kind of. “Have you watched that?”
“I haven’t.” It’s weird to see Donghyun speak like that, meek and weak (oh, that rhymed!), and it’s not like Youngmin’s dense enough not to notice how he’s practically looking at anywhere else in the room but Youngmin. Even the broken clock right above the television, even if it’s long stopped and the time shown is nowhere near the current time.
“Well, it’s a good one.”
“Oh, cool.”
Neither of them do anything to break the silence afterwards, and if he had to put it in an expression, the tension would be thick enough to slice through. Youngmin sneaks a glance at Donghyun, only to find the younger had been looking at him already—and Donghyun looks away, head swishing so fast that Youngmin would’ve thought he was trying to shake something out of his hair. His cheeks are tinged pink after getting caught, fists clenched tightly on top of his lap.
Youngmin wants to say something to break the ice, maybe something like, ‘I’m sorry you had to see me half-naked I’m sure nobody wants that image’, but the words are lodged in his throat and he’s stuck watching the movie half-heartedly, mouth wanting to speak but heart giving him warning signs to just stay quiet instead of potentially ruining the mood even further.
Donghyun’s nowhere different, because he doesn’t say anything, and Youngmin’s too afraid to check on his reactions on the movie because he’s half-afraid if Donghyun’s looking at him instead of paying attention to the rolling clip. It’s not like Donghyun’s stare is scary, because it’s really not, but Youngmin blushes easily under attention—and this is Donghyun’s attention he’s talking about, so one plus one equals two, etcetera.
“Hyung, can I ask you something?” Donghyun asks, out of the blue, and Youngmin might’ve jumped a little because he was a little shaken, but anyway.
“Sure thing! Shoot.”
There’s a flicker of hesitation in Donghyun’s face, but his resolve crumbles through. “How did you know you were bi?”
Youngmin hadn’t been expecting that.
“I guess I figured it out when I was thirteen?” His voice lilts at the end of his statement slash imposed question. “At the time, there was a new kid in my class. Ong Seongwoo. He wasn’t really going to stay for long—apparently his parents moved around a lot—but we became fast friends. Somewhere along the line, the both of us thought it’d be a fun idea to give each other our first kiss?” God, the both of them were always up to nearly everything back then, now that Youngmin thinks about it. “And we thought it’d be gross. But it wasn’t, so we did it some more. We tried dating for a while after that, and it was like dating any other person. We broke up because he was moving again, this time out of the country, and the tech back then didn’t make long distance relationships as easy as now.”
That and neither of them had come out of the closet back then, and neither wanted to take the risk of using letters or something and having their parents snoop through them. So, they gave up on what was essentially a seven-month middle school relationship, both of them choosing to let each other go and start a new chapter. Youngmin remembers how heartbroken he was, sometimes cutting class because it wasn’t the same without Seongwoo around to talk and laugh and hold hands with at the back of the class. It was a relationship that wasn’t meant to last anyway, but Youngmin thinks he wouldn’t have it any other way—it was one of those experience where he was able to learn more about himself, and he got his first taste at a breakup that actually made him sad. All in all, it hadn’t been the happiest thing ever, but Youngmin can look back upon it with a smile now.
“Huh,” Donghyun mumbles to himself, and doesn’t proceed to add anything to his statement.
In the background, the movie starts playing ‘To Find You.’
Post-movie, him and Donghyun move to Youngmin’s bedroom, because it’s getting late to the point it’s early (3AM, baby!) and they have the odd morning band practice tomorrow. Being late is not an option because Daehwi gets annoyed whenever people are late and Woojin makes it a habit to follow Daehwi’s lead, even if the real leader of their band is Youngmin.
“Lights out,” Youngmin says as he switches off the light, and his room would be pitch black if it wasn’t for the little string lights he has on the ceiling. They don’t form a star, or letters, or shapes, or anything else that people usually make them out to be. They’re abstract and Youngmin only has them because they were the only nightlights on sale.
Donghyun has the right side of the bed while Youngmin claims the left. They put a bolster between them (Youngmin’s idea) and they share the blanket after Youngmin found out his lack of spare blankets and Donghyun promised he wasn’t the type of person to hog the blankets. Still, it feels weird, knowing that Donghyun is right there and they’re going to sleep on the same bed after experiencing two of the most awkward hours they’ve had in their friendship.
Five minutes pass and Donghyun hasn’t said anything, so Youngmin assumes he’s asleep. He’s about to close his eyes and doze off too, at least, until Donghyun’s whisper breaks through the silence that blankets over them.
“Hyung, can I try something?”
If Youngmin had listened closely, he would’ve heard the nervous undertones in Donghyun’s voice.
Because Youngmin has the inability to think things through whenever Donghyun is involved, he doesn’t stop to consider what that something might be, and gives a soft, “Okay.”
There’s rustling on the other side of the bed, but Youngmin doesn’t dare to move. The whole moment feels like a spell. Or maybe a dream would be a better way to put it—point is, everything feels unreal, and Youngmin fears that if he twitches everything would be broken and he’d wake up confused and curious to know what was it that Donghyun was meaning to try. So, he stays still.
The bolster is unceremoniously thrown to the floor. Youngmin’s heart beats faster and faster, and at some point it’s going to break out of his chest and he might die or spontaneously combust or something.
Then, Donghyun’s arms are wrapped around his tense form, and he feels Donghyun’s nose rest on the crook of his neck as he tangles his feet with Youngmin’s own.
(There is no heterosexual explanation for this.)
“What are you doing?” Youngmin shudders. Not in disgust, far from it, but because he has goosebumps running down his skin and yeah, this is definitely a dream, isn’t it?
“Hyung,” Donghyun murmurs, and Youngmin is hyperaware of the slow movements of Donghyun’s lips on the soft flesh of his neck. “Look at me,” he commands as he raises his head, detaching himself from the crook of Youngmin’s neck. This leads to a whole new problem, such as Youngmin feeling Donghyun’s breath tickle his ear, warm and coming out in soft puffs. “Please.”
Almost robotically, because he doesn’t know what the hell he’s actually doing, Youngmin moves, tilting his body to face Donghyun’s and wrapping a loose arm around Donghyun’s waist. Donghyun tugs him closer, and their bodies press against each other. It’s warm, and Youngmin’s face burns, even in the shadows of the dark.
“Has anyone ever told you how cute you look when you’re flustered? Because you do.”
“Uh, no. This is a first. Thank you?”
“You’re welcome.”
And just like that, Donghyun’s lips are on his, and this time, he doesn’t taste like alcohol and bad decisions. He’s unsure and hesitant, even if he’d been the one to make the first move, not quite sure how to move his lips against Youngmin’s. This is still more graceful than their disastrous first kiss, however, and Donghyun is careful when making sure their noses don’t (painfully) bump and their teeth don’t gnash against each other’s. The kiss is careful, and neither of them rush.
Youngmin doesn’t think this is a dream.
He wakes up alone.
Donghyun’s side of the bed is made, and there is no trace of his shoes, or anything else, as a matter of fact.
The only reason Youngmin knows he hasn’t hallucinated the previous day is because he finds the case for Sing Street’s DVD on the coffee table, the same place Donghyun left it yesterday, and there’s a thank you note stuck to the fridge. The handwriting is Donghyun’s, and the pen he’d used is left on the top of the refrigerator.
I didn’t take anything from the fridge, don’t worry. I also didn’t shower here, so you might have some warm water in the tap for whenever you decide to clean up.
Sorry Thank you for your hospitality.
Yet Another List of Im Youngmin’s Problems, In No Particular Order:
His new couch smells a lot like tomato sauce, so whenever he sits down, it makes him feel like he’s in KFC instead of his dorm.
Woojin has resorted to tailing Youngmin everywhere because he’s scared of Lee Euiwoong, who is apparently scary and reminds Woojin of his dad because of their similar mannerisms. This all happened because Woojin was confronted by Euiwoong who thinks Woojin is leading Hyungseob on by talking to him again despite still spending time with Jihoon every once in a while. This is the problem that could easily be amended if Woojin just chooses either Hyungseob or Jihoon now (but he’s terrible at making up his mind so that’s much easier said than done) or if they all just date each other.
Donghyun is avoiding him. Both in person and in text.
IV.
"MARY: Look at me. You can depend on me.
It’s all right, I tell you.
If you will depend on me, it will be all right."
Here lies a full documentation of Youngmin’s attempts to coax Donghyun into conversing post-kiss, or as Youngmin would prefer to call it, The Most Awkward Sleepover and Sudden Kiss of His Life. For short, that is TMASaSKoHL, but that is a bitch to pronounce. So, he calls it The Kiss.
The First Attempt
Location: Right outside Donghyun’s dorm.
Props: Chocolate, because who doesn’t like chocolate?
The earliest attempt is attempted on the afternoon after The Kiss. Youngmin waits Donghyun to depart from his dorm and in his right hand, he carries a bag filled with store-bought chocolate, because chocolate is romantic and he’s trying to be as romantic as possible. Knowing Youngmin himself, that’s a challenge, and it’d be easier if only he’d let someone who isn’t completely shit in the romance department (like Daehwi) help him.
But, because he’s determined to keep this from his friends as long as possible, he tries to figure out all the details alone. Chocolate is the most basic prop of a romantic move, aside from flowers, but because a bouquet are more expensive than the cheapest chocolate brand in the convenience store, Youngmin goes with chocolate. Fun.
As the door swings open, Youngmin’s posture straightens, and he thrusts the bag that contains the chocolate as soon as someone exits the dorm.
Said someone has long hair, is wearing lipstick, and is most definitely female.
“Are those for me?” the girl asks, already noticing the chocolate he has. “I’m flattered and all, but I already have a boyfriend and I don’t think we’ve ever even met—”
So, that was a total bust.
The Second Attempt
Location: The cafeteria.
Props: Pretty much nothing.
Donghyun has been staring at his tray since Youngmin decided to join him at his table, and the saddest part is that Donghyun’s not even eating it. A waste of lumpy mashed potatoes, if Youngmin were to say, considering Donghyun hasn’t put any of that in his mouth and is instead mixing them around with his spoon.
“Donghyun, come on. Talk to me,” Youngmin tries, eyes all big, sad, and hopeful.
Donghan, who is Donghyun’s roommate as well as one of his friends, is looking at the both of them as if he’s missing the butt of the joke. Technically, he’s not missing out on any joke, unless Youngmin’s counting his own life as one. In that case, then yes, he’s definitely missing out on it.
“Should I go…?” Donghan trails off, already tidying up his tray and getting ready to move to the table next to them, where Hyunbin and his freakishly tall friends usually sit together for lunch. Anyone who’s tall has an open invitation to the table, including Youngmin, though Youngmin’s never taken up the offer because those people are intimidating as fuck.
“Stay,” Donghyun grunts, and it’s the first word Youngmin’s heard him say all day.
Unfortunately, the word was directed at Donghan, who gives Youngmin a shrug and a look of obvious pity. Hang in there, man, Donghan mouths at him.
The Third Attempt
Location: Band practice.
Props: Park Woojin and Lee Daehwi.
The third time is supposed to be the charm, and Youngmin’s really hoping it is, because now things are getting plain ridiculous.
Being able to perform without making any mistakes is one thing, but if the band’s relationships are strained because of Youngmin and Donghyun, the crowd might be uncomfortable watching the vocalist make eye contact with anyone in the band but Youngmin. That gets even more awkward when one takes into account that the two of them have a shared verse, one where Youngmin raps and Donghyun sings along with his melodies and it’s supposed to be this big, killing moment, but instead the moment’s killing Youngmin because Donghyun would rather make eye contact with the mic stand than him.
“The both of you are even worse than Woojin and Hyungseob,” Daehwi complains once Donghyun goes outside to take a call. The sad part of it is that the accusation is true, and nobody expected there to be a pair worse than Woojin and Hyungseob during their few weeks of miscommunication. What’s most amazing about this revelation is that him and Donghyun have only had this rift for about two days and it’s already that bad.
“Yeah,” Woojin hops onto the bandwagon, sounding his assent with ease. He’s probably just glad that he’s not the joke of the band’s love life anymore because that title has now become a shared burden on him and Donghyun.
“I’ve been trying to talk to him,” Youngmin weakly defends, because hey, he really has been trying his best—it’s just Donghyun who won’t stop to give him the time of the day. “He doesn’t want to talk to me, Daehwi. I don’t know what else to do!”
“Keep trying,” Daehwi says with a roll of his eyes. “I really hope you’ll get this resolved before our performance, because that was legit painful to watch.”
Youngmin makes a face. “Okay, okay. Hold your horses.”
The door opens and Donghyun steps in, having finished taking his call. The tip of his nose is a little red due to the cold, and like everything else about Donghyun, it looks adorable. Kind of makes him look like Rudolph, but then again, Donghyun’s always looked more like a buffalo rather than a reindeer in Youngmin’s eyes.
“Donghyun—”
He’s one word into his sentence when Donghyun suddenly holds up a hand, eyes staying glued to the phone. “Sorry, I have to take this.” He leaves the room again, even if there hadn’t been any ringtone whatsoever even though all of them know Donghyun’s ringtone is an obnoxiously loud chorus cut of Hongdae Geondae.
When fifteen minutes pass and Donghyun still hasn’t returned, Woojin checks outside, only to return less than six minutes later with a look of displeasure plainly written on his face.
“He made a run for it.”
Daniel’s birthday rolls around quickly, and before they know it, they’re all wearing matching outfits with matching stripes in the same spots. Solidarity is a thing, and even if Youngmin and Donghyun’s current state of relationship (or lack thereof) is a noticeable hole in the band’s usual dynamics, at least the matching clothes close the hole, even if it’s just a little bit.
Upon arriving at the party (they’re all riding Daehwi’s car and Donghyun is driving because out of all of them he’s the only one who actually has a license), Woojin immediately digs his cell out of his pocket and starts to type furiously on his monitor.
“What’s with him?” Donghyun inquiries, an upward twitch on the upper corners of his lips.
“He invited Jihoon, Hyungseob, and Euiwoong.” Daehwi’s nose scrunches up. “Not sure what he invited the last one for, because Jinyoung told me Euiwoong’s out for your blood. I don’t want to be held responsible for not warning you when you’re found dead in Daniel’s bathroom because you invited the same person who’s actually pissed at you to a party.”
As much as he loves Woojin, Youngmin can’t help but agree. Daehwi has a point, although he doubts Euiwoong would go that far. He can see Euiwoong scaring Woojin, though, and might stick around for the entertainment when that happens because he is A Terrible Person who laughs at the misery of his friends.
Woojin pouts, probably wondering why he’s even friends with people who laugh at his life choices and warn him of his imminent death instead of being supportive. “Whatever. I’m going to finish all this once and for all, but, uh, after the performance. Maybe it’ll clear my head,” he tries to reason, and Youngmin can see the logic in it, a little bit.
“Alright, Sparrow,” Daehwi calls Woojin by the name of his ‘animal persona’ in the band, which is also the easiest way to make Woojin cringe. It works, foolproof.
They get off the car together, and Youngmin doesn’t miss the way Donghyun tries to keep as much distance between them as possible. Now the avoidance is just plain hurtful, it’s not even awkward or uncomfortable anymore, because Youngmin’s beginning to feel like Donghyun just doesn’t want to be around Youngmin anymore. (“I’m sure that’s not it,” Daehwi had said upon hearing Youngmin’s confession, but even Daehwi sounds unsure in spite of his words of comfort.)
The party is already in full swing, if the sheer amount of people is anything to go by. Youngmin can barely hear the sound of his own voice over the speakers that blare the newest hiphop song topping the carts, and the four of them constantly get separated by the crowd. Daniel’s not even there to greet them by the door, although Youngmin hears Kang Daniel’s signature laughter somewhere from the beer pong table, probably having the time of his life with his friends.
“Our gig’s in half an hour,” he reminds them, putting on what he calls his ‘stern’ voice. It’s the same voice Woojin’s scared of because he can remember Youngmin using it on him when they were younger and Woojin did something to piss Youngmin off. “You’re all free to go mingle and all, just be sure to make it back in time.” It’d be no use to make all of them stick close together, because they’re bandmates but not each other’s bodyguards, and a part of him is doing this because he sees the way Woojin scans the room for either Jihoon or Hyungseob, probably wanting to get some words in before the stage. Because after the stage comes his final decision and knowing Woojin, he probably considers that as the biggest milestone of his life already.
As soon as he finishes giving them their warning, Woojin sprints off, presumably in search of the two people who have been giving him enough stress to last a lifetime. Daehwi takes off after Woojin, though in a much calmer manner, waving and greeting people as he goes. It’s kind of amazing how Daehwi seems to know everyone, even if he’s a freshman and has been going here for less than a year.
That leaves Youngmin and Donghyun. Youngmin isn’t sure how he feels about this, beucase he’d expected Donghyun to be gone as soon as Youngmin gave them the green light to do their own business. But Donghyun is still there, silent but watchful, and he’s actually looking at Youngmin for the first time in days. If he had to place all the emotions in Donghyun’s eyes, it’d be difficult, because there are many—but the most prominent ones are sadness and regret.
Regret for what, Youngmin’s not sure if he’d like to hear. There’s only so much his heart can take.
“We… I think it’s time for a long overdue talk,” Donghyun says, although his voice gets lost in the crowd.
“Speak louder,” Youngmin responds, practically shouting to get his point across without having to repeat himself. The music’s just loud (Kang Daniel must have some nice speakers) and the white noise of chatter does nothing to help.
“We need to talk,” Donghyun repeats, this time louder.
“Right now?” He asks dubiously. Sure, a talk might be exactly what he’s been waiting for (and has been rejected for multiple times), but when they can barely hear each other speak—maybe a party isn’t the best place to have a feelings talk. Or any other talk, now that he thinks about it.
“Better late than never?” is the reply he receives, and it’s not long before Donghyun’s dragging him by the arm to… somewhere, Youngmin’s not really sure. He’s more amazed Donghyun’s knowledge of the house (he seems to know the layout pretty well considering he doesn’t stop to ask for instructions—so it’s either he’s not a stranger to Kang Daniel’s house or he has a really, really good inbuilt navigation) than knowing Donghyun’s finally talking to him after the few days that felt more like months.
They pass through a room with a bright red door, and Youngmin finds himself getting dragged inside, closing the door behind him after Donghyun’s nonverbal request (he’s gotten too accustomed to reading Donghyun’s body language now and it’s either amazing or pathetic.)
“So,” Youngmin begins, leaning back against the door. The room is a closet, judging by the shoeboxes stacked and the clothes hung, but it belongs to a girl, if the dresses are anything to go by—he’s heard Kang Daniel has an older sister.
Donghyun smiles, forced and fake. It never reaches his eyes. “So.”
“You said you wanted to talk, so… you first.” As if Youngmin’s going to be the one who starts off The Talk after getting ignored and avoided for the past few days. He thinks he’s entitled to being a little petty, thanks.
“I wanted to say I’m sorry.” Donghyun swallows. “What I did was—it wasn’t cool. Doing that and then staying away from you is… it was a dick move, and I acknowledge it. I’m sorry it took me so long to gather up the balls to talk to you.” Donghyun’s biting on his lower lip, the browns of his eyes scarce of certainty—he’s scared and confused, and if the way his fingers continue to tap rhythmically on the walls, the anxiety is present.
Apologizing isn’t an easy thing to do. Forgiving is even more difficult.
“Is there anything else you’re sorry for?” Youngmin asks, his voice coming out as a low whisper that remains audible even through the hum of the music from outside the room.
He doesn’t need to specify. Donghyun knows what he’s talking about, judging by the way his eyes flash with recognition. It makes him nervous, because Youngmin’s not sure whether he wants to know if that was a regret or not.
“No.” Donghyun surprises him with how confidently that’s said, a complete 180 from the meek demeanor he’d been wearing for his apology. “I don’t want to apologize for anything else. There’s nothing else I’m sorry for.”
“Really?” Youngmin surprises himself with how bitter the sound of his laughter is. “Not even the kiss? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I think that’s the reason why you’ve been avoiding me in the first place.” He halts himself before he can say anything potentially hurtful. Youngmin is bitter, but he doesn’t want to go so far as to hurt Donghyun’s feelings in the process. He still cares about Donghyun, even if he’s the reason for Youngmin’s recent emotional turmoil.
“I’m not going to apologize to you for that, hyung. I just—I just needed some time to think about it, and I don’t regret it. If I had the chance to do it again, then I would, I’d take it and do it all over again. Because—
“Because I like you, hyung. And it took me a while to realize that, but I like you, and I’m not going to apologize for something I’m not sorry for.”
Any and all pretense of Youngmin’s wrath is gone, and in its place is a gaping Youngmin, shell-shocked and dumbfounded. Not his most attractive look, but he can’t find himself to cover up his surprise, and that’s how you know he’s taken aback—probably the most taken aback he’s ever been in his life, because Youngmin’s life is mostly all about that consistency and with consistency, you don’t really get much chance for surprises. Especially not one in the form of Kim Donghyun and his confession in a stranger’s closet.
“Oh,” Youngmin says, the image of eloquence as he tries to not stutter through a one syllable word.
Donghyun is watching him with something akin to amusement and fondness. “Oh,” he agrees, repeating the word in a manner much smoother than his.
Instead of saying something like ‘I’ve been pining after you for weeks now’ or even a simple ‘I like you too’, all that comes out of Youngmin’s mouth is, “I thought you were straight.”
“I thought so too.” Donghyun shrugs. “But then I met you. I guess you never know until you meet the right person—shit I definitely didn’t mean it to sound like I think you’re my soulmate or anything even though that’d be nice and—okay I’m going to shut up and stop embarrassing myself now.” Usually, Youngmin is the one who blushes until his face is as red as the plantations of his farm, but this time around, it’s Donghyun—and it’s a nice change for once, because a blushing Donghyun is cute and Youngmin doesn’t know how to deal with that.
“I, uh, wouldn’t mind that either,” Youngmin fumbles through his words. It’s a miracle he can pull himself together and rap when he’s on stage because he’s a terrible speaker. But, it’s worth it, because he can see the way Donghyun glimmers with joy.
“Really?”
“Totally, really, completely—”
He’s stunned into silence when a warm lips brush over his cheek, and that’s Donghyun who’d left him a chaste kiss. Even after Donghyun pulls away, he’s still so, so close, arms wrapped around Youngmin’s neck, their faces only barely apart from each other’s through the close hug.
(Youngmin thinks he can live like this for the rest of his life.)
“We, um,” Youngmin stutters, because how is it possible for him not to stutter when he’s speaking to Donghyun in close proximity? “I think we can continue this later—because the performance and all,” he finishes lamely.
“Yeah, of course,” Donghyun agrees, but doesn’t release Youngmin from his hold. He only does so when Youngmin coughs, almost pointedly, and he jolts away—shy and perhaps embarrassed from the boldness he’d shown.
Youngmin pulls on the handle.
It’s locked.
“The—”
Kang Daniel’s sister is the one who breaks them free, because apparently Donghyun is friends with her (“We’ve known each other for a while! She’s amazing!”) and has her number on speed dial on his phone.
“This is exactly why the door’s never closed,” she says after she kicks the door open, and Youngmin is both impressed and terrified because of how powerful she is.
Seulgi is her name, and Youngmin’s heard of her before through the rumours about her being a part of a five-women girl gang. With the way she’s dressed, all black leather and a white tank that exposes her mid-riff underneath the opened jacket, he’s starting to think the rumours might have some truth in them. Her image is the opposite of Daniel’s, who’s known to be the easygoing, if not lame (but in an endearing way, because how else would he have made all those friends?) guy on campus.
Still, she seems… nice. If she wasn’t, then why else would she have broken them out of the closet?
“Thanks, Seulgi noona!” Donghyun thanks her profusely, and Youngmin follows his lead, showing her a wary smile.
“It’s no biggie,” she exhales. It’s amazing how she hasn’t broken a sweat even after kicking a door open. Seulgi takes the cake as the most badass person Youngmin’s ever met. “Aren’t you performing? There’s only like, five minutes left until your performance.”
She’s right. There are only a few minutes to go until their performance, and knowing Daehwi, he’s probably sent out a mass text to everyone in the party to inquire their whereabouts.
Youngmin grasps Donghyun’s hand in is and breaks into a run. (In retrospect, he should’ve let Donghyun lead him, because Donghyun actually knows the way around.)
They have three songs on their setlist. The first one is a cover of Bruno Mars’ ‘That’s What I Like’, because apparently that’s Daniel’s current obsession and he wouldn’t stop pestering them until they agreed to perform it for him. The second is an original, a song that Daehwi had written about a birthday, so technically, Daniel has his very own birthday song—that’s probably the reason why he was hyped as hell during that song, jumping around and generally making a bigger fool of himself than usual. The final one is another one of Daehwi’s compositions that’s coupled with Woojin’s choreography, a song that they’d created but performed, unlike their usual band performance, like an idol group’s. With choreography and no instruments on stage and everything, and that’s actually the performance Youngmin was the most worried about because his limbs are long and he can barely control them when dancing.
Practice pays off, though, because he safely performs the song without accidentally slapping anyone with his elbows. Woojin is the real star of that song—oh, right, it’s called ‘Welcome to my Hollywood’—because his dancing trumps over anyone who just dances for like, one occasion and proceeds to never dance again. (Youngmin is referring to himself.)
“I can’t believe we didn’t mess it up.” Youngmin laughs, exhilaration pounding through his veins.
Next to him, Daehwi is grinning triumphantly. “I told you this thing would work out.”
Even if he doesn’t specifically remember when Daehwi said that, Youngmin nods in agreement, and his smile is so wide he can feel his cheeks start to hurt. “So, has anyone contacted us for another performance?”
“Well, there was Daniel’s friend who approached us to perform at his older brother’s wedding, and then there’s also this girl in my class….”
won stealer (09:00): hello guess who has important news
won stealer (09:00): it me
fashionista (09:01): stfu it’s too early
won stealer (09:01): rude??? youngmin and donghyun hyung i would like to report lee daehwi for rudeness???
fashionista (09:01): the
fashionista (09:02): you’re never this chipper in the mornings
fashionista (09:02): who died?
won stealer (09:02): NOBODY DIED AM I NOT ALLOWED TO BE HAPPY IN THE MORNING
paca hyung (09:03): you’re allowed but this is really unusual tf is going on
juliet (09:03): what he said
won stealer (09:04): ~what he said~
won stealer (09:04): lovebirds
won stealer (09:05): anyway i settled my early life crisis
fashionista (09:05): did you mean your love triangle
won stealer (09:05): that
won stealer (09:06): so i talked to jihoon and hyungseob yesterday after the performance
juliet (09:06): so that’s where you ran off to
juliet (09:07): proceed!!!
won stealer (09:08): the three of us decided to compromise
won stealer (09:09): try something new because it’s college and that’s the time to try new things and all right i mean that’s what youngmin hyung said
paca hyung (09:09): where are you going with this
won stealer (09:10): i’m getting theRE
won stealer (09:10): so we all just decided to try this whole date each other thing a try
fashionista (09:11): you mean you’re in a poly relationship?
fashionista (09:11): that’s the correct term btw
won stealer (09:12): yeah that
paca hyung (09:12): how did they agree
won stealer (09:13): we decided love triangles were too last century and twilight so
won stealer (09:14): that happened
won stealer (09:14): i ask for your blessings
juliet (09:15): of course!!! you haven’t introduced me to them though
fashionista (09:16): maybe you can do that when you see me off at the airport. you can take your boyfriends with you woojin
juliet (09:16): airport??
fashionista (09:17): omg i forgot to tell
fashionista (09:17): but um my mom called me yesterday
fashionista (09:18): we talked things out
fashionista (09:18): she apologized and i got reinvited to visit her soon!
juliet (09:19): daehwi i’m so happy for you!!!
paca hyung (09:20): told you she’d come around eventually
won stealer (09:20): congrats daehwi
fashionista (09:21): thanks guys <3
fashionista (09:21): i’m gonna pack now try not to blow up my phone with your messages
paca hyung (09:22): no promises
“Are you sure you’ve already got everything packed in there? A jacket, extra batteries, spare clothes—”
“For the sixth time, yes, hyung. I’ve tripled-checked, you don’t have to worry about me,” Daehwi says, faking exasperation at Donghyun’s numerous concerns. One would think Donghyun is the one going on a trip, considering the amount of messages he’s left Daehwi concerning what to bring and what not to bring (“I saw it on a travel website!”) instead of the other way around.
“I’m just trying to make sure,” Donghyun grumbles. He reaches out to ruffle Daehwi’s hair, a broad grin resting on his face. “Take care and stay safe, alright? Don’t forget to text us when you’re in transit and once you’re there.”
“Why not Facetime too while we’re at it?” Daehwi jokes, but Donghyun takes it seriously, what with the nodding he gets up to.
“That’d be alright, too.”
“Hyung, I was joking.”
“But it wouldn’t be unwelcomed,” Donghyun points out in his earnest.
Someone reaches out to poke Donghyun’s shoulder. It’s Bae Jinyoung, who has been waiting to say goodbye to Daehwi for some time now, but Donghyun’s been talking to Daehwi for over five minutes and there isn’t much time left until Daehwi has to go. “Sorry,” Donghyun apologizes, and gives one last hug to Daehwi before he walks over to Youngmin, who has said goodbye to Daehwi before him. The last thing he sees before turning away from the couple is Jinyoung caressing Daehwi’s cheek, and Daehwi melting into his touch—they’re cute, almost disgustingly so.
The dynamics of Daehwi and Jinyoung’s relationship is different from Woojin’s with Jihoon and Hyungseob, considering the three of them tend to bicker more instead of constantly showering each other with love and affection. Then again, Youngmin would make a hypothesis that’s because, unlike Daehwi and Jinyoung where the both of them are romantics, all three of them are similar in meaning that none of them are particularly romantic.
The closest thing would be Jihoon, although Woojin can attest to Daehwi that he’s more manipulative than anything, and it’s almost scary how good Jihoon is at getting the attention of his boyfriends. Hyungseob, on the other hand, is the clingy type—while Jihoon embraces it and lets himself be trailed after by Hyungseob like some kind of lost puppy, Woojin is subtler about it, and goes beet red whenever his boyfriends do something like simultaneously peck his cheeks in public. Youngmin would describe their relationship as young love, because that’s really the only way to go around it—it’s a bright, upbeat kind of love, where each of them aren’t well-versed in relationships and they’re learning together.
(“I’m really going to miss you,” Woojin had said to Daehwi after their hug. Instead of saying something like ‘I’ll miss you too’, Daehwi squished Woojin’s cheeks together, enjoying how the other didn’t protest no matter how much Woojin actually hates it—considering this is the last time they’ll be seeing each other in a while, he goes limp, and lets Daehwi have his fun.
“Take care of Hyungseob and Jihoon, ‘kay? If I catch word that any of them get hurt because of your oblivious butt—”
“—you’ll make sure there’ll be hell to pay, I know.”
“Good. Now come here and give me another hug, Sparrow.”
A groan. “How many times have I told you to stop calling me that?”
“How many times do I have to do it for you to know that I’m not going to stop?” Daehwi smirks, leaving Woojin to grumble and wallow in his bitterness.)
The group that had gathered together for Daehwi waves him off as he finally decides it’s time to leave, as the boarding gate will be opened in a matter of less than thirty minutes and missing a flight isn’t in his agenda, and as they wave him goodbye, a warm feeling has settled in Youngmin’s chest.
A year ago, he wouldn’t believe it even if his current self told his past self that he’d be happy and content, for once, because the Youngmin of this day last year would’ve been too busy with his own work, not bothering to give enough time for the rest of the world. The Youngmin of the past didn’t have a Woojin beside him, there to break him out of his solemn exterior and have him indulge in things in life other than work. The Youngmin of the past didn’t have a Daehwi beside him, perhaps terrifying but always meaning well, and never failing to be there as a steady grip to reality whenever Youngmin can’t do that himself. The Youngmin of the past didn’t have a Donghyun beside him, never failing to accept Youngmin even when he was in one of his moods, there to give commentaries on silly movies to help cheer Youngmin up.
He’s grown, both emotionally and musically, and none of this would’ve been possible had it not been for the people that now surround him.
“Let’s go grab some lunch, I’m starving,” Hyungseob suggests once Daehwi’s passed through the gates, and all that’s left is six college students in the middle of the airport’s bustling crowd. Holiday season is always crowded, Youngmin would know. “I’ve heard there’s a new chicken restaurant opened right across the airport!”
So, the six of them go for chicken, with Hyungseob leading the way singing songs about chicken (Youngmin didn’t even know there were this many songs about it) and Jihoon, holding hands with Woojin, trail closely behind him. The rest of them walk further behind, and Jinyoung’s constantly checking his phone, probably texting Daehwi if the way he’s smiling is any indication.
The restaurant is family-run, and the scent of chicken wafts through the air, inticing and causing Youngmin’s stomach to rumble. He hasn’t eaten anything since breakfast, and he sees the way Donghyun’s grinning at him, probably wanting to laugh.
“Yeah, yeah, go ahead and laugh at your starving boyfriend.” He fakes a huff, leaving Donghyun to roll his eyes and mutter something about this being his own fault for not storing up his fridge.
They order, and their orders are served fairly quickly. On his left, Woojin’s being fed by Hyungseob (or more like being force fed, if the burning tip of Woojin’s ears is anything to by) as Jihoon’s too busy digging into his own meal to care, and Jinyoung’s still on his phone. If Youngmin had to guess, he’ll start eating once Daehwi shuts down his phone, so Youngmin makes sure to save a few pieces of chicken when he picks some up for his plate and Donghyun’s.
“What’s the seasoning?” Donghyun wrinkles his nose as he catches whiff of the sauce.
“I think it’s barbeque.”
“Oh, I like barbeque.”
Through the loud laughter around their table as they eat and Woojin continues to share stories of him stealing money from Youngmin as a kid, and Donghyun’s legs nudging his under the table even through Jihoon’s aghast “Are you guys playing footsie under the table?”, Youngmin comes to another revelation.
People always have a drive. For Youngmin, it was once music and only that, but now, he has the people he loves. He knows he’ll always keep fighting for them, would kick life in its metaphorical shin even if it makes his legs bruise, because it’s a long journey ahead and there’ll be obstacles waiting for him; some of them might be difficult to overcome, others an easy hurdle, but he’ll make sure to pass through them not for himself, but for the ones he holds closest to his heart. His parents, who wait for him to return and gave him tips how to clean up the couch that smelled like tomato sauce. Woojin and Daehwi, who have somehow wormed their ways into his heart no matter how much they can be. Donghyun, who smiles at him like they’re the only ones in the world, sharing some kind of private joke.
So, this is it. Youngmin’s life is far from the picture perfect adulthood he used to dream of. He still has his fair share of problems (for one, he has now run out of hot water in his dorm and showering with cold water in the middle of winter is actually painful). He still eats instant meals instead of anything gourmet because his monthly budget remains the same. There's no guarantee of him being successful after graduating either.
But as long as he has the people he cherishes the most around him, he wouldn’t have it any other way.
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Different anon here: because I'm lame I crack myself up thinking of an au where yondu survives and travels with the guardians, getting to know them and slowly becoming more and mores done with his sons weird taste in friends.
Oh my, isn’t this a rare treat, and something that completely puts a massive smile on my face! To go from writing a super fun meta for one nice Anon based around our local space dad…and then to turn around and see that another lovely Anon has wandered into my askbox to discuss more Yondu things?
And not only that, but also share with me an adorable headcanon of him and his son post Vol 2 where everything is good and happy and nothing sad ever happened no matter what James Gunn tries to make us believe?
Oh, I am going to have a fun time with this~
(Lots of Yondad meta and headcanon under the cut, as well as a small drabble where Yondu and Drax get along and embarrass Peter! Prepare for feelings as well as silly things!)
First off, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. The Guardians of the Galaxy fandom is just absolutely and all around lovely, and they certainly know their way to my heart with really great ideas coming from their really awesome minds!
Honestly, how could you not just adore this fandom and the people within it?!
Ah, but regardless! Hello there different, but equally as great, Yondu Anon! (Or would you rather me call you Yondad!Anon instead? Seems kind of fitting, yeah?) And thank you very much for popping into my askbox! Seeing all these messages from you guys just really makes my days all the more brighter; you just have no idea!
But there I go, getting off track; for shame! Anyway, you said that you make yourself giggle over a scenario where Yondu travels full time with Peter and his Guardian family after the events of the second film, and that he just, slowly but surely, becomes even more done with his son’s very bizarre choice of friends the more and more he gets to know them?
And, on top of everything, you somehow actually consider that idea to be lame?
Oh, but my dear Yondad friend! That is where you are sadly mistaken, because I don’t think that that idea is lame whatsoever! In fact, I think that it’s a very wonderful idea actually! And one that I, too, often think about in terms of post Vol 2 headcanons – be it silly or cute or just somewhere in between!
And actually, reading over your message reminded me of various ideas that me and my friend @packratofdenialism had in regards to Yondu’s relationship with the Guardians. The ones that come to mind first and foremost being that, other than Rocket and Groot, it would probably be Drax that Yondu would end up having the best kind of friendship with, before anyone else in the group.
And why him of all people, you may be wondering, and not someone like Mantis, considering that she is basically in some ways Peters’ adoptive sister, and Yondu has a thing for strays?
Well, honestly, the reasoning behind this is that Yondu and Drax are actually rather similar. Both warriors/killers with their own sense of honor, both fathers in their own right, both pretty bad with emotions, and yet ends up, after a massive tragedy, accepting a new family…as well as various others I’m probably not remembering.
And besides all that, there’s also the fact that both Yondu and Drax have one amazing ice breaker to spark their friendship. And something that would most certainly embarrass the hell out of Peter once he hears them talking about it.
That Drax was one of the first Guardians whom considered Yondu Peter’s father.
And since we’re all about giving out headcanons, and you had such an awesome one messaged to me above – how about I give you one in return? One that will give you all the emotions, possibly silly and heartwarming both?
(Inspired by late night conversations with @packratofdenialism, love ya friend~!)
Because honestly, can you imagine the look on Yondu’s face when Drax pulls him aside and he begins to discuss just how wonderful the relationship that Yondu has with his son is? And how proud he must be to have raised such a grand warrior, or how blessed Yondu should feel to see Peter grow and become a leader of his own crew?
I mean, it’s one thing to say it among friends, and have it be played off as a really big misunderstanding…
As well as have Peter totally deny that Yondu is the dad he’s always wanted, or that he ever called him Dad emotionally after he was saved from space, or how this is something that both father and son are still trying to get used to saying at all…but, dude, that’s only meant to be private sappy bullshit just between them! Not said in mixed company, or aloud, or ever! What the hell, Drax!
But to bring it up again, in a small ship where everyone can hear, and in front of Yondu no less! Peter isn’t sure whether to crawl under the ship’s controls or just smack his head repeatedly into the wall, because he knows well enough that nothing that comes out of this is going to be good, and he’ll probably never live it down…
I mean, just imagine!
“Ah, at long last! I get to go one on one with Quill’s father!” “Sure as hell hope yer not expectin’ the two o’us ta’arm wrest –” He pauses half way through his playful words; realizing slowly just what Drax said. “Wait, whadda’yer sayin’?”“You are indeed the true father of Star Lord? I know that your son tries to deny it with great enthusiasm, but it is surely so plain to see!”
So Peter would just groan aloud, because it was bad enough the first time around but now other members are listening in, and part of him just really hopes that Yondu will cut Drax off with some joke.
And yet, Yondu just smiles. Letting out that very asshole kind of laugh that is hidden with deeper emotion; because it may be slightly embarrassing to be considered Peter’s father by someone – as well as surprising, considering no one is judging him for said feelings…but somehow it just feels right.
“Hah, yeah, ah’guess ya could say ‘dat.”
And at hearing that Yondu isn’t angry, and is possibly going along with it, Peter just pops his head in and glares at them both with a massive blush on his cheeks.
“OH MY GOD YONDU NO. Don’t encourage him, ya stupid ass blueberry! Seriously, man, he’ll never stop at this rate and dude, we’re getting a damn audience here!”
And Drax interjects, because how rude of Peter to call his father a blueberry!
“Do not disrespect your father, Quill!”
And slowly, Yondu just looks over at Peter and sees his flustered look, because he knows that they were never the type for outward or open emotion. But after everything they went through, they could use a little bit of lighthearted teasing, and oh god it’s just so easy!
And he gives him a far too knowing smirk – like yep boy, ya wiggled yerself into dis, now ya gotta deal wit’it.
“Ey, ya heard him, son! Ya go on and treat yer daddy wit’ ‘sum kinda respect!”
And Peter just goes full on blood red, because oh my god Yondu why, and stomps out all the while screaming.
“THAT’S IT. IT’S OFFICIAL. I AM DISOWNING ALL OF YOU.”
Then Drax would look over at Yondu curiously; still hearing Peter squealing down the hallways.
“Is he always such –”
“A big ol’ drama queen? Hell yes. I mean, damn, th’ stories I could tell –”
“Oh! Please share your tales, Udonta! I would be overjoyed to listen!”
Hours later, Peter comes back totally drunk, and being far too done with his new extended family of embarrassing people and dad jokes, and oh my god are those two still at it after all this time? If I turn that corner they better not be exchanging baby pictures, what the hell.
And Yondu is still next to Drax, and he has this massively proud smile on his face. And he’s explaining in detail about the first time that Peter tried to shoot the special blaster that that he had given his boy for his birthday, and how their training session ended with Peter accidentally shooting Yondu in the leg instead of the Yaka Arrow that was meant as the target.
And Drax is just laughing out loud, as he often does when he is happy, and Peter expects Yondu to still be angry because of the accidental maiming that happened all those years ago and yet –
“Boy gave me one helluva scar! Still got it too! And oh damn, was he sheepish! Thinkin’ I was gonna up and whup ‘im for doin’ it. Hell, lookin’ back I probably scared im’ cussa my shouting an’ all…but I was REAL DAMN PROUD!””As one should be! To know that your child holds the courage to take down his target no matter who it may be! That shows true strength!””And even’tho dat shit hurt like hell, I was just thinkin, durin’ his stupid ass apology, how ‘dat trick shot coul’ be used on the field! Git’im all backed inna corner, and hav’im hit his target when ‘dey least expect it?”“Ahaha! Imagine the look on your enemy’s face when they are taken down by such a small and frail child!”“Hell yeah! I mean, I always ‘igured Petey to be sumfin’ special, but after all ‘dat, th boy just kept on surprisin’ me!“
Maybe Peter assumes that half of this conversation is just his drunken mind playing tricks on him, because Yondu was, and is proud of him? And Drax is agreeing? And they’re actually getting along? And it’s not just at Peter’s expense?
Obviously he had one too many.
And yet, the more he continues to listen in secret, the more he sees his old man actually smiling, and sees him getting along with his team, and not having to worry about anything that Ego put on his shoulders, or Ravagers betraying him for daring to care…
And sure, maybe he’s still getting used to all of this; the thought of him having an actual family.
…One that is filled with talking raccoons and green skinned warriors, tiny trees that enjoys his odd taste in music and a blue skinned dad with a flying arrow, as well as a brother that still is loyal even though he doesn’t have to be after what happened with the Ravagers…
Okay, so maybe his family is a seriously weirdass one…but it’s still a family nonetheless. And the more that Peter thinks about it, the more he walks away from the conversation, and finds himself placing in certain earbuds from a certain Zune and playing a certain song to help him deal with his awful hangover…
…He realizes that yeah, embarrassing and mismatched and crazy as it may be, this family is still his – and it just feels right.
There you go, Anon! You gave me the wonderful idea of Yondu getting to know the Guardians and just wondering where he went wrong in Peter’s upbringing because SERIOUSLY SON WHY THESE IDIOTS. And in turn, I gave you an idea where everyone else slowly just becomes totally done with Yondu – mostly Peter, because THE EMBARRASSING STORIES, DAD WHY.
As well as some additional feelings on top of the silliness, because why not?
Thank you so much once more for coming into my askbox and talking Yondad related headcanons with me! I deeply appreciate it, always totally have fun with it, and I surely hope that you enjoyed my little mini fan fiction that I gave you in return! (If anyone wants that posted on it’s own without additional talk, just ask.)
Lots of hugs, hope you have a great day full of joy and fandom feelings, and I hope to see you around soon! Pop back in anytime!
#peter quill#yondu udonta#yondu#drax the destroyer#guardians of the galaxy#Anon~#Ponnie Rambles~#Long Post~#Very Long Post~#I'm really sorry that this ended up taking so long my dear sweet Yondad!Anon friend!#Honestly I just managed to lose track of my writing for a few days and forgot where I wanted this to go#as well as ended up fumbling my words many times to the point where I had to rewrite this twice.#Originally it wasn't going to include the small fan fiction -- but since you waited so long for a reply!#I JUST FIGURED.#WHY NOT.#Why not give you feelings and something nice to help you feel better about the wait#SO I DID!#And thus the drabble of Drax and Yondu bonding and Peter being embarrassed but coming to terms with his weird ass family#BECAUSE WE COULD ALL USE A LITTLE BIT OF FEELINGS IN A HAPPY AU WHERE NOTHING EVER HAPPENS RIGHT?#So yeah I hope you enjoy reading over my thoughts and my words Yondad!Anon!#Feel free to pop in again if you want!#And if you wan to have the drabble posted by itself so you can enjoy it without everything added on top#well just ask!#I'll be happy to do that!#Anyway stay awesome Yondad!Anon and have fun reading over this you guys!#Lots of kisses~ ♥
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answer them all !
Gemma! I love and hate you right now 😂. Here it goes .1: What eye color do you find sexiest?All of them! Blue and brown are my favourite though. 2: White, milk, or dark chocolate mocha?Milk3: If you could get a Sharpie tattoo on your back, what would it be?A mandala of some sort 4: Did you grow up in a small or big town? Did you like it?Grew up in a small town just outside of Glasgow. I love that I'm from a little town. It's a pain in the ass to get home from a night out though 😵5: Your favorite adult as a child? (and not your parents, if they were your favorite)Probably my gran (mums side). She was pretty amazing. 6: What kind of smoothie sounds really good right now?Strawberry 🍓 7: Most embarrassing moment from your elementary school years?I'm assuming this is nursery? I can't remember any embarrassing moments from then. 8: Most embarrassing moment from your middle school years?Can't remember any embarrassing moments from then either. 9: Most embarrassing moment from your high school years?I was in art class and I had previously told my friends at the table that I had a crush on a guy who was in the other class. He walks into the class to get his art folder and my friend says 'is that the guy you fancy?' Super loudly and he bloody heard it and looked over at me! It was more embarrassing than it sounds 😂10: Pirates or ninjas? Why?Pirates! They love rum and the ocean and I think we'd have lots in common. 11: Have you ever climbed a tree more than twenty feet off the ground?Hell no! I'm not the biggest fan of heights12: Did you like swinging as a child? Do you still get excited when you see a swing set? Yes!! I grew up with the public park right across the road from my house so I spent the majority of my childhood playing on the swings and monkey bars 13: If you could have any pet in the world, illegal or not, what would you get?I'm going to be really boring and say a cat, cow, snake or a sugar glider.14: What's your most favorite part of your body? Probably my eyes 15: What's your most favorite part of your personality?I'm caring and super aware of others feelings. For example if I'm in a group and see that someone's being left out then I'm usually the one trying to involve them more. I hate when people feel left out.I'm also pretty open to try new things! 16: Madonna or Lady Gaga? Neither? Both? Who cares?Early Madonna 👌🏼. Like some of Gagas stuff too. 17: Have you ever watched the Superbowl all the way through?Yeah I watched the last one that was on. I have no idea what the rules are in American football though 😂18: Have you ever watched any major sporting event drunk?Nope19: What's the most delicious food you've ever eaten in your life?I was walking home from my first drunken night out in Sweden and there was a little burger van outside the club. I got the best burger I've ever had out of that place. I can't even remember what was on the burger to try and recreate it. I just remember me and my friends moaning over how good the burger was 😂20: Margarine or butter? Which did you grow up with? Butter 21: Whole, skim, 1%, or 2% milk? (Did you know they make 1 1/2% milk?)Semi skimmed milk.22: Which continents have you been on?(I read this as condiments) I've only traveled through Europe23: Do you get motion sickness? Any horror storiesI always used to get car sick when I was younger. Thankfully I don't get it anymore. Ooh one time I went to m&d's (theme park) in high school and I went on the flying carpet then ended up throwing up on the bus on the way home 😂24: Backpacks or satchels?Satchel 25: Would you wear a rainbow jacket? A neon yellow sweater? Checkered pants?Yes to the checkered pants. No to the jacket and sweater. I don't usually wear colourful clothes26: What was your favourite cartoon growing up?I loved Hey Arnold, Rugrats, Recess, Rosie and Jim, Noddy, Art Attack, Sabrina the teenage witch27: If you had to have a cow or a pig, which would you take? Why?Cow! 28: If you had to look at one city skyline for the rest of your life, which would it be?Dubai?29: Longest plane ride you've ever been on? Probably 4 hours? 30: The latest you've ever slept?I'm pretty sure I've slept for like 17 hours straight once. 31: Would you buy a sweater covered in kitten pictures? Would you wear it if someone gave it you for free?Both!32: Do you pick at scabs?Yesss33: Favorite kind of bean? Kidney? Black? Pinto?None 34: How far can you throw a baseball? Not very far, I can't throw for shit...35: If you had to move to another country, where would you move?I'd move back to Sweden. I absolutely loved living there. I'd probably move to Canada and I'm hoping to move down to London or Manchester in the next year or two. 36: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? Vietnamese? Korean? Nepalese? How was it?I don't think so? Im not very adventurous when it comes to trying new food. Im always worried that I won't like it so I usually stick with what I know that I like. 37: Small, liberal arts school or public university? Why?Public university- you get to meet different people from different cultures, backgrounds etc 38: A relationship with love or one with sex? A relationship with love39: Do you eat enough vegetables?I could probably eat more 40: Do you like horror movies? How about thrillers? Hell yes!! Even though they scare the crap out of me 41: Would you scratch a crotch itch in public?Yup. I'd try and do it discreetly though 42: Do you swear in front of your parents?Sometimes, it has to be in a joke format or else they get annoyed. 43: Coolest thing you've ever been for Halloween?I was a witch for about 7 years in a row at one point so I don't have much to choose from. I dressed up as a sailor girl and the black dahlia, they were probably my favourite44: If you could change your natural hair color, would you? To what?Just got my hair dyed blonde. I would love to go blue again. 45: Do you want to get married? Have kids? Im not sure. If I was to get married then it would probably go to Vegas and elope. The thought of walking down a isle, being the centre of attention freaks me out. In regards to kids- I really don't want them. I don't want my life to suddenly be all about them, keeping them safe, raising them well etc. Also I think movies/ parents that you talk to always mention the more horrible things that their kid has done than any good thing e.g., shit in their sock drawr etc. No thanks 🤚🏼46: Do you use a reusable water bottle? If not, you should.Oh yes47: City or nature person?Both! I love architecture and old buildings, but I also love walks around my village, visiting some sheep and highland cows, taking pictures of the hills/mountains etc 48: Have you ever used something other than "makeup" as makeup? (Like paint? Markers?)Probably when I was a kid49: Can you walk well in high heels? Even if you're a guy?Only if I'm drunk. 50: Post 5 awesome things about yourself. BRAG AWAY!Im pretty much the human equivalent to bubble wrap. I can make my hip, wrist, shoulder and jaw click/pop on command and play along to song.I can balance a pint of beer on my head and play snooker at the same time 💁🏼I have a pretty good music taste and can play some instruments I can still remember a poem I had to memorise in nursery. Annnnd I can't think of the 5th thing aha
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