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6/1/24
Taking a moment to dump some thoughts in the quiet.
I did CBD last night and added at least 500 calories to an otherwise great day.
I had 3 mini quest bars. 240 cals there. 2 of those were eaten in the middle of the night.
Those are my last quest bars. I am not buying protein bars for a bit. I have a brand called nugo left. They are good but not as hyperpalatable as these other ones [my favorites are quest choc chip cookie dough & gnc lean bar Samoa cookie]. The plan is just to not buy this shit anymore. If I want one, I have to go out and buy one. One. Bahahaha.
Why? Why am I bent on self sabotage?
It took about 110-120 pounds lost for people to notice ANYTHING. And once they did, my results slowed to a fucking crawl. I am so pissed about that and have been trying to get things going again.
I am ready to change my header to 130 pounds down.
What is the deal with People noticing that makes me self-sabotage?
By most charts, a healthy weight for me would be 120. So my goal isn't set too low. I am not dangerously skinny but... idk.... people and their fucking comments. It is like once I just noticed I freak out internally and stepped up the self sabotage game.
So shit.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to level up when you are mid weight loss? Especially with night eating?
Things I have recently changed:
-trying to sit in the living room instead of the dining room. [Longer walk for snacks]
-more tea, especially green & oolong, yerva mate.
-trying to peddle on the recumbent bike during cbd time
-more games/scrabble (trying to keep busy since I can't always leave the house)
-listening to some subliminals
Things I am focusing on continuing:
- hydration
-konjac jelly, sf popsicles, sf jolly ranchers & werther's
-regular exercise
-cardio AND resistance
-fiber
-BCAAs
-Coffee. I love coffee.
-gum
Things I am procrastinating on:
-school
-books. My reading list is ever long and ever growing. I have a million books, including diet books.
-getting rid of clothes I spent real money one. The recent shopping trips have helped nudge that in the right direction.
-cleaning my office
-rearranging my bookshelves
-setting up the new TV
-getting a strapless bra
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Idk why there are people that think it’s impossible that Yul abused Grett into losing weight
This is the dude that forced an ex to get plastic surgery and then dumped them when it didn’t turn out the way he wanted
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Why must vitamins taste so bad? Why can't we have adult Flinstone vitamins?!
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