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multiversefanfics · 2 days

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You left

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader(Past relationship)- Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader(not a full on relationship but friends with benefits type thing with hidden feelings?) Warning: SMUT 18+‼️Oral (F receiving p in v) ,cussing, mention of sex, angst Summary: After Thanos snapped half of humanity out of existence, then fighting like hell to get them back just for him to leave anyway. A/N: It still irritates me that Steve left everyone behind for Peggy, this fic is for people who are also irritated about Steve leaving, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it too. this is a short one, well my opinion of short😂 Past in Italics

"Steve, you promised. You told me there was nothing to worry about and that you loved me and only me." He sighed and placed his hand on your shoulder "I do love you, but I love her too. I can't just ignore it; she is the love of my life." By now tears were streaming down your face, you couldn't believe what you were hearing you thought Steve was someone you could trust. You took a step back, staring deep into his eyes. "Steve..." Was all you could manage to get out between sobs, and you shrugged his hand off your shoulder "I can't believe you right now, after everything you are willing to just throw away 6 years together." Steve rubbed his face and when he removed his hands you could see his facial expression was different "I have to! When I saw her again, it brought back everything I missed out on.” His sudden change of volume made you flinch, he apologized and told you he loved you, but his words meant nothing because he still went back to Peggy leaving you behind to try and move on while he lived out his dream.

You and Steve were in love, even though in the back of your mind the same name kept popping up Peggy Carter. Although he tells you every chance, he can that he loves you and only you, you can’t help but feel like a consolation prize. You loved Steve he was your favorite person in the world, you would be lost without him, but you don't know if he felt the same way about you sometimes. He told you over and over that he loved you and he would never do anything to hurt you, and then he did it. He left. He left you to go back to Peggy. After all the fighting to bring everyone back, all the moments you shared, everything. He just left like it was nothing. It took a while for you to move on and find your happiness, it wasn't easy, but you did it and you were successful. Something unexpected happened that caused you to rethink everything.

It's been 3 years since Steve left and you're single and still not ready to mingle and that's fine no one is rushing, and you're not really interested in anyone, you're just having some fun. You and Bucky were sitting on the couch, your legs over his lap while he rubbed your calf after you pretended to have a cramp "Is your cramp gone?" You giggled a bit "I never had a cramp I just wanted you to rub my legs" Bucky groaned and smacked your shin, leaning back and looking at the TV. "Why did you stop" You whined rubbing your leg against his hand "Because you tricked me" He looked over at you while you made puppy dog eyes at him, he rolled his eyes and started rubbing your legs again, you smiled to yourself and started watching TV again. Sam strolled into the living room, plopping down beside you "Well aren't you two cozy" You hit him with a pillow not taking your eyes off the screen "Why don't you mind your business." Bucky retorted earning a deep chuckle from Sam "It's cute that's all." You saw Sam shift awkwardly out of the corner of your eye, you sat up and looked at him "What's wrong?" Sam looked over at you and raised an eyebrow "What are you talking about?" You studied his face "You never adjust yourself. unless you're nervous about something. Out with it."

Sam sighed and just as he was about to answer you heard the front door open, everyone turned their attention to the door, and in walks Steve. You sat there frozen unable to utter a single word, Bucky got up and did one of those man hugs with him and Sam followed suit, while you sat there still frozen trying to figure out if he was real or if you were dreaming. It was real, no matter how many times you told yourself it wasn’t. He was standing right in front of you staring deep into your eyes waiting for you to say something. Anything. You cleared your throat and stood up joining the group “Hi...” Steve smiled at you, God you missed that smile, but then you remembered that smile belonged to Peggy. "Hey, Y/N how are you?" Is he really going to pretend that everything is, okay? Like he didn’t just leave you behind “I’m good, how are you here?” He sighed and looked around “Why don’t we sit down, and I can explain.”

Everyone nodded and went to sit on the couch, you sat closest to Bucky laying your head on his shoulder, you weren't doing it to spite Steve or anything, Bucky was your only source of comfort, but you could see in Steve's eyes he didn't like that. His best friend and his ex-girlfriend? Together? The thing is you guys weren't really together you two just leaned on each other when one of you needed it, or when aggression or stress needed to be released. Maybe you had feelings for Bucky but never expressed them.

Steve took a deep breath trying to compose himself "Stark visited me and said there was much to be done here so, he and Scott pulled me back, and I'm here to help." Bucky felt you tense up and although he knew what he was about to do would rub Steve the wrong way, he needed to comfort you instead of having to deal with Steve's feelings when he was the one who left. He rested his hand on your knee rubbing his thumb over your kneecap, it was hard for Steve to concentrate let alone talk so he cut it short "I'm here to stay and help with whatever you guys need help with." Everyone nodded and started to go their separate ways. "Hey, Y/N can I speak with you?" You looked back at Steve and nodded "Sure, what's up?" You stood in front of Steve who was awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck "So are you and Bucky... Like together?" You shook your head "No, but when you left, he was the only one there for me and provided comfort when I needed it. We weren't trying to hurt you earlier; he just knew I was tense and tried to calm me down."

Steve crossed his arms over his chest and took a deep breath "Do you have feelings for him?" You were taken aback, why is he asking these questions, was he judging you for how you repaired yourself? "I don't think that's any of your business anymore." You rolled your eyes and went to walk away. “Wait, Y/N there’s more I need to tell you. I figured it would be easier coming from me.” You turned to face him again, he took a deep breath. You’ve never seen Steve so nervous before “Peggy is here too.” Your breath hitched and you nodded slowly “Is that all?” He nodded and you walked away. You wish you could be happy for him but he left you behind. ‘He left’ kept echoing in your head

You and Bucky were lying on your bed, his head lying between your legs on top of your stomach, you aimlessly played with his hair while he talked about something Sam did, you weren't really paying attention you were too busy thinking about the questions Steve was asking. "So, I was thinking of shaving my head and getting a skull tattoo." Your head snapped in his direction "What?!" He chuckled "What's on your mind?" You sighed and stared at the ceiling "Is it Steve?" You heard the sadness in his voice, it wasn't what he thought, you didn't want to get back with Steve it was just the questions he asked. You took a deep breath "It's not that I want to get back with him, he was just asking questions about us and asked if I had feelings for you." Bucky turned on his side and looked up at you "And you told him that it was none of his business, right?"

You nodded and looked down at him "Does he know we had sex?" You shook your head and sat up "No, I didn't tell him we had sex I didn't think he would want to hear 'Hey Steve, I'm having sex with your best friend, welcome back.' Kinda sounds a little messed up." Bucky let out a hearty laugh "You got a point." Bucky looked down between your legs then back at you “Speaking of sex.” He leaned down and gently kissed your thigh, you looked down at Bucky as he left several soft kisses up and down your thighs. You shutter under his touch “Bucky, is now really a good time?” He dragged the tip of his tongue down the inside of your thigh not breaking eye contact with you. “If you want, I’ll stop.” You wanted nothing more than for him to devour you and help you relieve your stress.

You bit your bottom lip and nodded slightly at him; he pulled your underwear to the side and instantly latched onto your clit sucking gently. Over the years Bucky learned what your body wanted, how you wanted, and especially what drove you crazy and that was his tongue. To him, it was just a tongue but to you, it was the best thing in the world. Bucky moaned against your skin sending vibrations straight to your clit, which made you moan out his name. Bucky knew the effect he had on you and used it to his advantage. Your fingers found their way to his hair tugging slightly as he swirled his tongue all around your throbbing wet pussy, you arched your back and spread your legs farther to give him more access. You felt your orgasm creeping up, you began rolling your hips against his face “B-Buck, I’m close.” As soon as he heard those words he latched onto your clit this time sucking a little harder than before, you cried out in pleasure before releasing all of your juices onto his face.

You laid there breathless as he sucked up all the juice until every last drop was gone. “Y/N, you okay?” You lazily nodded and watched as he crawled up beside you, you kicked off your underwear and got on your knees while pulling his boxers down, you wanted nothing more than to climb on top and feel his dick stretch you out. You watched his dick bounce back from his waistband, you licked your lips and took his dick in your hand slowly pumping up and down. As much as you love to tease him you really didn’t want to waste any time, you took his entire length in your mouth, choking a bit until you started to breathe through your nose, you bobbed your head up and down earning a low growl from Bucky, you looked up and saw him watching you. You smirked and pulled back swirling your tongue around his tip.

Bucky reached down and grabbed you by the throat pulling you up to his face so he could kiss you, there was something different about the kiss but you didn’t care you kissed him back. You reached down between his legs and slowly sat down on his dick, as soon as it entered he flipped you on your back and started thrusting roughly into you. Bucky was always rough with you and you loved every minute of it mainly because it was him. His hand still on your throat, he used his vibranium hand to make small circles on your clit, this sent you into overdrive. “B-Bucky” You managed to moan out between gasps, Bucky’s thrusts got sloppier and slower as he tried not to cum so fast, he wanted to savor the moment, just then there was a knock at the door “Uh, just a minute.”

But they didn’t listen and walked in anyway. It was Steve “Buck, I have to- Woah, uh I’m sorry… Y/N?” You mentally smacked yourself putting your hands over your face, mumbling ‘fuck’. Bucky looked down at you then back at Steve “Uh, Steve, could you give me a minute.” Steve was so angry that it literally looked like steam was coming out of his ears, he nodded and slammed the door behind him, Bucky looked down at you “So, where were we?” You rolled your eyes and pushed him off of you “Are you kidding me right now? We just got caught by your best friend and my ex. Do you not realize how that looks?” Bucky stood up putting sweatpants on “It looks like his ex girlfriend moved on after he left her for someone else.” As much as the comment hurt he was right. Steve has no right to be mad when he left you, you sighed and mumbled “You’re right…” Bucky looked at you wide eyed “I’m what?” A smile spread across your lips “I’m not saying it again.”

You felt so bad but at the same time, he left you and he has Peggy, he has no right to be mad. You finished getting dressed and headed to meet Bucky and Sam in the living room, you stopped in your tracks when you heard Sam tell them to calm down “Calm down? I just walked in on Bucky and Y/N having sex!” You peeked your head around the corner and saw Steve pacing in front of Bucky, fuming. “You can’t be mad at how she decided to repair what you broke.” Steve stopped in his tracks and looked at Bucky “What I broke? You are my best friend!” You don’t have to see Bucky’s face to know how red it was “You left us! You went back for Peggy you didn’t think about your ‘best friend’ or ‘girlfriend’ when you decided to go back to her.” You leaned your back against the wall sighing quietly maybe it was time to defend yourself. “Hi, you must be Y/N” You flinched and looked at where the voice was coming from and there she was, Peggy Carter.

She was even more gorgeous than you imagined, more than the picture Steve carried around when you two were together “Uh, yeah hi I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.” She smiled sweetly at you and shook your hand “What are they yelling about?” You pointed to yourself “Steve walked in on Bucky and I being… intimate” She cocked her head and raised an eyebrow “Let’s go be a part of this conversation, shall we.” You nodded and walked into the living room with her. Steve’s eyes widened as you both came around the couch and sat on it “Please, gentlemen continue. Pretend like we’re not even here.” You couldn’t tell if she was pissed off or not her calm tone threw you off. You looked at Bucky and frowned, he leaned over and whispered in your ear “It’s okay, doll.” You heard Steve scoff which caused everyone to look at him “I can’t believe you two.” Peggy chuckled and looked Steve in his eyes "I can't believe you, why do you care what she does?" The next words out of Steve's mouth shocked everyone.

"Because I am still in love with her!"

Main Masterlist - Steve Rogers Masterlist - Bucky Barnes Masterlist

A/N: I dont know if there will be a part 2. I haven't thought that far yet but, I hope you like it. feedback is much appreciated if anyone wants to be tagged in future fics please message me or leave and ask on what you want to be tagged in or if you want to be tagged in everything.

Tags: @megamindsecretlair @kandis-mom

Divider credit: @firefly-graphics

#avengers #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x you #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fic

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billwidoll · 2 days

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Sweet as Cherry

Summary: You reject yourself to be with Rafe and when he finds out about this, he was ready to make your life hell Until you get a date

Warnings: for over 18s, verbal violence, physical violence, psychological violence, Toxic and aggressive relationship

Author's Notes: This story is a little heavy and if you don't like it, don't read it

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It all started on a normal Thursday afternoon, you were at college waiting for the next class to start. It turns out that there was only you in the room, you were like the nerd in the room, so you were always the one He arrived earlier. but incredibly Rafe Cameron was there too And it didn't take long for him to talk to you

"Hello... you and Y/n?" Rafe says smiling at you

You were surprised by Rafe's greeting, he was the popular one in college and a bad boy, obviously you didn't like these types of things or these types of Boys

"Oh hi...I'm Y/n" you say with a friendly smile at Rafe

And he smiles with his smile

"Aren't you going to ask who I am, doll?" Rafe speaks with a disgusting smile

You laugh at this comment causing Rafe to hiss in confusion

"For God's sake, who doesn't know who Rafe Cameron is?" You say smiling and that also makes Rafe laugh a little.

"okay... so I'm famous to you?" Rafe speaks, sitting on a chair that was next to them.

"and...like that. But it doesn't fit that much!" You say in a joking tone.

In reality, you didn't even know why you were being so attentive to Rafe, you knew what he was like and how he treated people. Maybe he was just trying to be nice to you to just copy the homework he didn't do.

When Rafe was about to say something else, the teacher and some other students arrived at the time, interrupting them.

It was obvious that Rafe was frustrated, he was winning you over, he was feeling it. Rafe had his eye on you for a long time, but never tried anything, so he decided this was the time

You sat at a table you always sat at, but this time Rafe was your tablemate and you didn't understand because he always sat in the back, far away from you.

"ae! Y/n! How about you meet me at my house at 5pm? I have a surprise for you" Rafe says in a whisper because of the teacher

"Sorry Rafe...but I'm going to study today" you say giving him a friendly smile, you weren't lying you were really going to study

"Ah, come on? This is a chance for us to meet, don't you think?" Rafe speaks with a hopeful look

"how about another day, hun?" You speak last, turning your attention back to the books

And Rafe couldn't deny that he was very upset and sad about it, you were the first girl to not accept an invitation from him. But he wasn't going to give up

Fourdayslater

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After two days, Rafe couldn't stop and think about you. He was always stalking you on Instagram or any social network, He was always going to the coffee shop you worked at.

You were at work on another normal day and Rafe ended up showing up there, you thought he had just stopped by to say "hi" but Rafe's intentions weren't like that.

"Hi Rafe! What are you doing here?" You ask, giving a friendly smile from behind a counter.

"Ah...I came to see you.” Rafe says giving you his best smile and it ends up leaving you embarrassed

"Well... I won't be able to pay attention to you now because I'm working..." You say, your cheeks turning red.

"what's your problem with y/n? Always avoiding me, always making an excuse..." Rafe speaks frustratedly to you and that makes you angry

"I'm sorry if I'm too busy a girl for you!" You shout, but then restrain yourself because you are at your workplace

"okay... and so?" Rafe says it like you and he were having a lovers' fight

"Rafe...What do you want from me, hun? I would do anything for you to leave me alone now!"

You talk already stressed to him

"A date!" Rafe says simply

"a date?" You repeat and he nods

"Yes! Me and you in a restaurant, what do you think?"

Rafe speaks, approaching you and increasing a smile on your face.

"no, I don't want to go on a date with you, Rafe"

you say, lowering your head, you've never turned down a date. But going out with Rafe was too much for you, you didn't want to be another prize in the His

When you refused Rafe's invitation his physiology simply fell, Rafe's eyes quickly darkened, he was starting to break out in a cold sweat

"what? Are you saying you won't go out with me?" Rafe speaks sounding like a robot that was about to attack you and you were scared there

"and that's right Rafe, I don't want to go out with you now or ever, okay?" You speak harshly, ready to serve the next customers, leaving Rafe alone and angry.

Fourdayslater

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After you didn't want to go out with Rafe, he decided to make your life hell. When you woke up he was there somewhere watching you and you knew it, he was making fun of you From you somewhere in college, he kept treating you like a slave when he went to his work place. But the worst part is when he followed you on the street or when he sent you gifts and love letters or Threatening

You were already tired and fed up with everything Rafe was doing to you, but the worst was going to happen on Wednesday night.

You were in your apartment with the doors locked and the windows too. Everything was calm, so you went to the bathroom to take a shower, going there you ended up taking off your clothes and getting into the hot, bubbly bathtub.

You lay down in the bathtub and closed your eyes, resting. But out of nowhere you end up hearing a voice behind you

"so beautiful...it's a shame it's not mine" Rafe says standing in the doorway smiling, this makes you get up quickly showing off your naked body

When you realize it, you immediately grab a towel that was close to you.

"What are you doing here Rafe?! Can you leave me alone!" you say, screaming desperately, covering yourself with the towel

"no, honey, don't cover yourself, I was seeing a beautiful view" Rafa says walking slowly towards you

"Rafe...please...leave me alone...please" you said with tears in your eyes and slowly moving away with each step Rafe took

"Leave you alone? Why would I leave the most beautiful girl alone?" Rafe speaks with his threatening voice and dark eyes

Now, finally you and Rafe were face to face. Looking deeply, Rafe looked at you like a predator, but you only knew how to be afraid

"...what do you want from me?" You speak with the tears slowly coming down

"I just want a date, my doll" Rafe says almost in a whisper, running his hands over your red face

"Okay, okay. And I'll go out with you, okay?" You say accepting almost desperately

"Do you understand? It's so easy to accept being my girlfriend" Rafe says, smiling like he's crazy and holding your face

"What? Rafe...and just a date, I'm not your girlfriend." You say amazed and Rafe shakes his head no

"Yes, you and my girlfriend yes, and then you will be my wife" Rafe says smiling but squeezing your face, Making you have tears in your eyes even more

"You don't want to make me angry, right? You know what I do when I'm angry." Rafe speaks clearly threatening you

Soon after, he kisses you desperately and madly, the kiss had fear, passion, love, aggression, all emotions flowed from that kiss. Now you were definitely Rafe's

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cherryredstars · 9 hours

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hello cherry this is my first time requesting something :)))) i was wondering if you could do a miguel x reader where y/n and miguel get into a big fight because miguel hasn’t been home / hasn’t been letting the reader know when he isn’t going to be there and after their fight y/n goes out to the club to let off some steam with her friends and it turns out miguel is at the club for a business meeting and he spots her and gets a bit possessive (feel free to add anything else you’d like hehehe that’s what im mainly been thinking about )

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x fem!reader

Warnings: Possessiveness, Suggestive, Slight Praise, Dom!Miguel Vibes

A/N: Hello, love! I hope you enjoy!

Unedited

You were still fuming when he left.

Your cheeks puffed in agitation, glaring at him from the couch as he walked out the door. Horrible timing if you ask him. One second the two of you are fighting about how he barely has time for you with all these meetings, and the next he’s asking for a rain check because he’ll be late for a business conference. Really helping him out there.

It’s left him annoyed the whole meeting, resisting the urge to bang his head against the table and rub his face until it peels off. In all honesty, he doesn’t really need to be part of this meeting. He’s only here for looks, not even expected to know what the meeting is about or add any input. He could be at home, laying on the couch between your legs as he laps at the liquid gold between your thighs as an apology.

Miguel lets out a heavy sigh, the noise getting lost with the loud music that’s giving him a headache. His eyes wonder from the table of men, turning his head to peer over the railing surrounding the balcony of the VIP section. His eyes scan the mass of people, taking in the writhing mass. At his age, things like clubs have lost their appeal, but he knows this place would be something you would like. You’d love to dance to these songs, too.

Miguel hums to himself, making a mental note to take you here sometime soon. His eyes are about to go back to the meeting when he spots a familiar face in the crowd. Or, multiple faces. His eyes zero in on you, your face turned to talk to your friend behind you. The strobe lights light your face in different neon colors, and he straightens up. His eyes stay on you as you walk through the crowd, a drink in one hand and the other slapped over the top as you walk. Good girl.

Miguel is content to have you have this time with the girls, knowing after fights like this you need something to take your mind off of things. But his eyes stray to a group of men near the bar leering over at your group of friends, one of the sleazy fucks gaining courage to walk towards you. Miguel’s expression sours, and he fixes his suit jacket as he stands up. The group instantly stops talking, focusing on Miguel.

“Where are you going?” One of his coworkers ask, brows furrowing in confusion.

Miguel doesn’t spare him a glance, adjusting the cuffs of his suit. “Bathroom.”

The group continues to watch him, slowly turning back to each other and continuing the conversation. Miguel turns his back to them as he leaves, his eyes sticking to where you and your group stand. He can see the fuck walking towards you, and he grumbles when he realizes he’ll get to you first. Once he descends the stairs, it gets slightly harder to spot you. But it isn’t an impossible task with his abnormal height, and he can still make out the vague area you’re in. The crowd parts easily for his intimidating build, and soon enough he’s a few feet away from you.

As expected the sleaze is already with you, mouth moving way too much as he talks to you. Your brow is furrowed in annoyance, and you glare at the man as he talks. Miguel can’t make out what he’s saying, but he can tell you aren’t interested in his shit. Miguel’s stare hardens when the man leans forward, getting into your personal space and whispers something to you.

Miguel reaches you right as you lift your hand to slap him. Miguel’s front presses into your back, his hands acting fast as one wraps around your wrist and the other around your neck to tilt your head up. Your face shoots up to stare at him, the glare in your eyes softening slightly at the sight of him. Miguel’s thumb strokes the pulse point on your neck, calming you down as he stares at the man in front of you.

“Down girl,” he mumbles to you, slowly lowering your hand so it rests at your side.

You make a sound similar to a scoff, but you don’t resist. Your body melts into him, and you turn to hug him when he lets go of your neck. The man looks between the two of you and scoffs, walking off with an irritated grumble once he realizes he’s not getting lucky with you. Miguel watches him go, his large hand stroking your hair.

Once he’s completely gone you pull away from Miguel. That glare is back on your face, and you cross your arms as you stare at him.

“I’m not some dog.” You sass, tilting your chin up.

Miguel hums. uninterested. His hand comes to grab your cheeks, squeezing them together so your lips pucker. The furrow in your brow grows deeper, and Miguel’s mouth twitches at the corner.

“Of course not, mamí,” he agrees. “But you are a brat.”

You begin to grumble a protest but Miguel pinches your cheeks tighter.

“Ah-“ he cuts you off. “Behave and have fun, yeah? I’ll come get you when my meeting’s done.”

Your lips jut out further with a pout, and your grumble something inaudible before nodding reluctantly. Miguel hums, leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to your lips.

“Good girl. I’ll be back”

He lets go of your face, pressing a kiss to your forehead before giving you a once over and leaving. You watch him go, trying to ignore the ache between your thighs.

You hate that fucker.

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respectthepetty · 1 day

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Pride Petty Watch (The Untamed) 1/?

I let the crowd pick which two blacklisted shows I would watch from my Petty List, so I flew through the first one knowing I had this 50-episode beast waiting for me. People have warned me that the first two episodes wouldn't make sense, there are a ton of characters to keep track of, I need to watch it at normal speed, and I need to keep the sound on. Therefore, I was already mad before I hit play, yet somehow I started the first episode, blacked out, and emerged five episodes later.

Which means I like it so far, and here's some quick reasons why:

Before I start, these two better be an item because they are my favorite BTS song aka "🔥" and since I haven't seen them in the present yet, I'm fearing something happened to them in that great battle in the past, and if so, I'M GOING TO BE BE LIVID! I've had them for three whole minutes, and they are everything to me, so I feel this story is going to fuck me over.

Everyone is chasing after this golden black snitch, yet nobody is catching it, so although there is a lot of death happening, I'm laughing.

If you squint, My Stand-In and The Untamed are the same. Boys who fell off a cliff come back in another body only to live the same life with the same people and make the same bad decisions. Cool cool cool.

This current lecturer is stating nobody could find the body but he fell into fire/lava, so what body were they thinking they would find?! Also, don't think I didn't catch homeboy getting in trouble in the past for asking in class what happens when a spirit demands revenge and the instructor got upset because look where we are now! Possession of a body for the sake of revenge. Should've entertained the question, professor, because sixteen years later, it will come back to haunt you, literally.

And homeboy applied his own theory of making the possessed bodies work for him to fight the other body. He is a smart cookie, and that's why the original Moo Moo person gave his body up to him.

@dribs-and-drabbles, if this is why you told me I needed the sound on, I'm confident I'm not going to remember this melody. And how is he playing a leaf right now?

I can't take this seriously. This feels like an 80s music video, and he is about to hit me with the hottest synthesizer intro.

And the sword has the golden black snitch in it. *Pikachu face*

I can't play an instrument but for a DIY flute made out of bamboo on the spot, I thought his playing was excellent. For people being saved from being squashed, they are some haters, and I would have stopped playing just so they could suffer.

I picked up that sister is dead in the future, but her kid is a brat, and I would've been mean to him too.

And did the brother really kill him in that battle on the hill because when the entire crowd was like "you killed him, right?", he was looking like . . .

So this is the brat's daddy? It would make sense that a man who shut down an entire hotel for his party would have a son who sets 400 traps so nobody else can catch anything. The privilege is genetic.

I like him AND I respect him. He has priorities and they are to drink and party because even when he came back in that other body, he snatched the liquor. As the opening showed, he's here for a good time, not a long time.

I don't like Fuddy Duddy. He can remember 3,500 rules (this place is where fun goes to die), but couldn't remember to tell my party bro that his sister and brother were inside? Everybody just left homeboy without a note saying where they are, and Fuddy Duddy had the information, yet was too busy lecturing about rules. AND committed the ultimate party foul and wasted the liquor. Make that the 3,501th rule! He's lucky he can lay the synthesizer so well.

This is where the big battle is/was (Nightvale, Nightshade, NightWhatever), and I hope this man died in it because he is doing TOO MUCH! "I don't fear death; I fear boredom" YOU'RE boring! Shut up and go collect the pieces of that dumb rock, Thanos Jr., so we can get this battle going.

HE BROUGHT A BIRD INTO CLASS! This is the everyday American high school class.

Why is everyone in the Fire Nation so pissed? Is it because it's hot there? All of y'all are doing too much except for that sister and her brother. I know that brother was the zombie guy from the statue fight, so that means the main homeboy was talking to Fire Nation sister at the graves. That was her family's grave, and she must be a good person, who is probably dead now too.

So they can all play magical instruments? They're like Josie and the Pussycats, playing gigs between fighting crime.

The brat's dad is gold, the Cloud Recesses (what is this name about because they should be a lot more fun with a name like that?) are white and blue, and the Fire Nation is red, so it's odd that homeboy had the dark blue robes with red underneath before coming to school, and keeps getting really friendly with the fire people. Plus the cloud people's power is blue, but his comes out in bursts of red. Is his daddy really Fire Nation? Get Maury on the line.

So his bird buddy gave him porn, which he gave to Fuddy Duddy, who then ripped it up. No wonder why he is so good at school and remembers 3,500 rules. Got nothing but time on his hands since he isn't using his hands doing anything else by being so repressed.

Fuddy Duddy just said he doesn't touch people, yet in the very beginning he snatched homeboy's hand without hesitation, so he wouldn't fall to his death. Then, he snatched that premium liquor for him. I see you and your heart on your sleeve, my man! Just like this water demon, the feelings are sneaking up on you and snatching you up!

Should've bought her the comb, bro, because she's going to be dead after that big battle since she was sent to snoop for the Fire Nation. Even though she is trying to help her brother, I feel this will be y'alls Romeo and Juliet moment.

So the brother was always going to come back from the dead since he already was cursed(?), and my homeboy is once again proving to be a friend to all. I like you, and I will learn your name, hopefully by episode 28.

Only three marks healed in the present, so whoever is the last mark has to be one of these hoochies, and the more backstory I get, the more I think it's going to hurt when I find out who the last mark is.

Half these people have already died leading up to that big battle and the other half will die as homeboy sets out on his Kill Bill journey, so like . . .

"You and I have unfinished business"

*slams on the 'next' button*

#pride petty watch #the untamed #that was a quick five episodes #I'm not confused #but I am making my Velma from Scooby Doo face a lot #jinkies #I'm not getting attached to any of these people #because they are either already dead or going to die #but I want the first born son of the cloud people and the illegitimate son of the other folks to have a long life together #AND I KNOW THIS PLOT WILL SCREW ME OVER!#I don't like Fuddy Duddy so far #He is Killjoy and a Vibe Killer #But I think homeboy is the best #so I should probably learn his name

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idleoblivion · 14 hours

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"Hey Man I Love You, But No Fucking Way" Jamil Viper x GN Reader

Synopsis: The time has finally come for you to leave, but he isn't ready to lose you. Surely you'll hear him out, right?

Word count: ~900

A/N: I usually prefer fluff but thought I'd experiment with a little angst, though I don't think it's too intense. Never written any kind of yandere stuff before so sorry if it's tame.

Warnings: angst, yandere Jamil

This day was bound to come. He knew it, you knew it, everyone did. That didn’t make it any easier for him, though.

He knew you had started bugging Crowley harder about going home after the second overblot. And harder again after the third, then his, and so on. He wanted to meddle, but Kalim kept him busy. Plus, his faith in Crowley was so low he thought he’d have more time. Time to win you over, time to convince you that your place was with him. And he had made progress, you two had become very close despite what went down in Scarabia over the holiday. But the time for you to go had come regardless.

He knew you had people you missed and places you still wanted to see. He knew that at the end of the day, no matter how much he’d grown to like your presence, you were not meant to be in Twisted Wonderland.

But he still held onto that naive hope he had that you would hear him out tonight. Perhaps too tightly.

“You know how much you mean to me, don’t you?”

“I do.” You answer almost emotionlessly.

“Then… then please-” “Don’t ask me what you’re about to ask me. Don’t do that.”

He should’ve stopped there, but he couldn’t. If there was any chance of you staying with him, he had to fight for it. So he kept going.

“Please… you don’t know what my life was like before you. Please don’t leave me like this.”

You don’t say anything back. He could already feel himself unraveling, but tried to hold it together the best he could.

“You’re the only person I can be myself around. You’re the only person who I can show what I’m actually capable of, the only-” “Jamil, you need to stop this. Now.”

“I love you.” He admits with desperation. “I love you, please, you can’t leave me like this. I’ll never…” he trails off, holding back tears.

“I love you too, Jamil…” You sigh deeply.

“Just not enough to stay?” He snaps without thinking. The look on your face immediately tells him that was the wrong thing to say. “How fucking dare you? You think you’re the only person I’m allowed to care about? I have people that I miss, Jamil. That I’ve been missing. I had a life before this school, sorry that hurts your feelings so badly.” He hadn’t expected you to get so angry with him.

“I didn’t mean-” “I had a life. A life without magic and overblots. Where I didn’t spend every waking moment waiting for something else bad to happen. Where people didn’t want to fight me just for existing, and I wasn’t almost constantly in some kind of trouble or danger.” You’re crying now too, and you turn your back to him as you continue. “I can’t do it. I can’t stay. There’s nothing good for me here.” “What…what can I do? There’s has to be something I can do-” “No, there isn’t. I’m leaving tomorrow and that’s that. Stop making this harder than it needs to be.”

“I…I told you, I love you!” “And I told you I love you, but I can’t do this for you!” You wipe your face as you turn to face him again. “You think I’m happy about leaving you? Of course I’m not! But I’m not going to suffer here for your sake. I have to do this, for me. Why can’t you understand that?!”

And in that moment, he finally did understand. You didn’t want to hurt him. You weren’t trying to, you just needed to look out for yourself. He couldn’t blame you for that. You said you loved him, and he believed you. He watches you sniffle in front of him and put your face in your hands. He feels remorse for how this world has treated you, and guilt for not getting what you really meant at first. Yes, he understands perfectly.

It was the rest of the world that was the problem. You could be happy in Twisted Wonderland, you just didn’t know it. With Crowley and overblots and other stress always wearing you down, of course you didn’t think you could stay. If you were constantly hurting, how could he expect you to?

But, why hadn’t you just said that from the start? If you knew how much you meant to him, didn’t you also know just how far he’d go for you? The mountains he would make move? The people he’d dispose of? Wouldn’t you do the same for him?

Of course, you would never have to do the same for him. He would do everything, take care of everything. Nothing would keep you two from each other. All you had to do was be with him and be happy. He could make that happen, he was sure of it.

He decides that those kinds of plans don’t matter right now, though. What matters most is that you’re about to make the biggest mistake of your life, and he isn’t going to let you.

“Look at me.” “Jamil, I’m done with this. I-”

“I get that, okay? Just…please, look at me one more time.” He was pleading, and his voice sounded so terribly dejected. You sigh again. You lift your head up from your hands and meet his eyes.

“I told you, I’m sorry. I really am. I-” “Snake Whisper. Follow me. You’re not going through that mirror.”

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twst x gn reader #twst x reader #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst jamil #jamil viper #twst angst #yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland #jamil viper x reader #jamil x reader

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glow-worms-are-believers · 1 day

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I think we Khan do it if we try (dp x dc)

Danny’s well-deserved Sunday of rest was interrupted by the sound of their doorbell ringing throughout the house. With barely a mumble, Danny cracked an eye open, observed it was much too early to be awake, and burrowed back in the covers.

He was brutally ripped away from sleep once again when the stupid doorbell rang again. With a groan, Danny rolled to the side as his brain slowly started to churn again. And with it, he slowly remembered that both Jazz and their parents had said they’d be out for the morning, which meant he was the only one home.

The doorbell rang for the third time, and Danny gave up the idea of out-stubborning whoever was at the front door. Through much effort, he managed to drag himself to the front door, and slam the door open on two older teenager/young adults, with one of them his hand raised and poised to ring a fourth time, and the other holding onto the guy’s wrist. Both of them, their eyes wide in surprise.

“Who’s it?” Danny yawned out as he leaned against the doorframe.

“Is this the residence of Madeleine Walker?” One of the guys asked, while looking suspiciously around as if he wasn’t expecting a positive answer.

“Yeah. Who’re you,” Danny mumbled, as he fought to keep his eyes open.

“I’m Bruce and I want to learn all that I can from Master Walker,” The other guy, with the darker hair said.

“Doctor,” Danny corrected as he rubbed at his eyes, his brain feeling like it was working through molasses. “And it’s Fenton.”

The lighter haired guy took over smoothly with a smirk towards the other guy, who’s jaw tightened in a way that couldn’t have been comfortable. “Anton,” he introduced himself, “I’ve come to seek Dr. Fenton’s guidance as I have done with masters of the craft from all over the world.”

Danny squinted as he struggled to make sense of the string of words coming out of the guy’s mouth. “What, so you guys are, like, exchange students?”

The lighter-haired guy opened his mouth, only to be elbowed in the gut by the darker-haired dude, but Danny was too busy trying to remember if there had been any talk of an exchange student recently. He knew his parents had considered it and even applied, but the house hadn’t passed muster for the committee’s criteria, which fair enough. Maybe they’d reconsidered? Danny sighed. Whatever, it was too early for this.

“Alright,” the halfa said. The room his parents had set up was still ready and they had applied. It wouldn’t be too surprising if his parents had forgotten to inform Jazz and him of the newcomers, or just forgotten about them altogether. “Alright come in.”

“And don’t forget to take off your shoes,” Danny added as he led them into the house, “mom hates when we walk on the carpets with them on.”

With his back to the two man, Danny missed the alarmed look they gave each other. “Mom?” He could hear one of them whisper to themself.

Weeks later, Danny would come to regret that decision with every fiber of his being.

“Mo-om, the exchange students are fighting again!”

“Leave them be, Jazz,”

“But mom, they’re blocking the way to the bathroom!”

Danny clenched his eyes shut as he tried to stuff his ears harder.

Still better than the time he’d caught them both half-naked and wrestling on their front lawn like a couple of insane people.

#Khan: maybe this suburban decor is meant to be a decoy?#Bruce watching Jack bumble around knocking every single beaker to the floor: genius.#Khan under his breath: why can’t they just live in a cave like all the rest of the martial artists we’ve met #Bruce: Omg Khan you can’t just ask someone why they don’t live in a cave!!#I read Batman: Ghost Stories so this is very loosely inspired by that mostly through the flashbacks #basically Ghostmaker/Minhkhoa Khan and Batman/Bruce would compete for teachers while doing the training to be a vigilante thing #and so I figured why couldn’t Maddie Fenton be one of their teacher.#This is crackish #Also first time writing ghostmaker #sorry if it’s wonky #ghostmaker #minhkhoa khan #bruce wayne #danny fenton #dc x dp #dp x dc #roxpox #roxpoxwrote #ngl the title makes me crack up I think I need to sleep more

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fictionalmenmakemecry · 2 days

Text

Never getting over you- Part 2

Characters: Carmy Berzatto x Reader

Summary: Carmy seeing you that one night, brought back mountains of memories. Memories he's been trying to bury for a year. With him not being able to get you off his mind. He could only do one thing.

Warnings: Erotic memories, fluff, saliva, cursing

A/N Did not expect that big of response! Thank you guys :) I've been gone for a little bit but with the trailer coming out and the new season this month, I got inspired again.

Part 1

Enjoy!

He couldn't get you off his mind. So many questions raced through his head.

"Cousin!" Richie snapped, bringing Carmy back to reality.

Carmy looked cluelessly at him not remembering what Richie was nagging him for.

"What?!"

"Jesus Christ, am I talkin' to a wall?" Richie exclaimed glancing over at Sydney.

"The people at table 7... The- the fuckin' shellfish allergy. They're paranoid, they want rea-"

"Reassurance, yeah-yeah... I'm a little busy 'ere, can't you do your job?" Carmy went from station to station looking over everything that was firing

" Yo- you don't think I've tried?" Richie followed raising his arms.

"Fine! fine, I'll go..." Carmy yelled

Another night past of pernickety customers. Carmy was finally glad to close and lock his door and take a deep breath in his apartment.

He leaned against it for a few moments, finally taking in the silence of his surroundings and to be left with his thoughts on what the fuck actually happened tonight.

He kicked off his shoes and as if he was on autopilot, made his way to the bathroom, starting up the shower.

His mind never lifting from seeing you across the street. He couldn't believe it at first. With the lack of sleep he has been dealing with lately, he honestly thought he was losing his mind for a second.

Was something wrong?

Were you in trouble some way?

The way things ended between both you and the nasty words that hung in the air ever since. He really did think he wouldn't see you again.

His mind flashed back to seeing your cheeks red and raw with tears staining them. It was hours of fighting, he didn't know what time it was, but with the sound of the birds outside, most likely early morning.

"If you want to go..." Your words broke off, wiping your nose with a disintegrating tissue.

"Just fuckin' go" Your voice turned sour.

He stood leaning against the back of the couch. The only piece of furniture between the both of you.

He knew that if he left your apartment, he wasn't going to come back. He couldn't deal with this right now. The Bear was at a point of maybe not happening.

But you didn't know that. He didn't tell you that because he knew you would blame yourself. He could barely hold himself together.

With his head hanging low, he took one deep breath before bringing his eyes to yours. He took in your beautiful sorrowful eyes one more time.

"Fine... I'll go" He uttered weakly.

As he grabbed his keys and phone off the kitchen counter, a streak of panic ran through your veins.

Was this it?

Was this the final straw?

The last fight?

"Wait-" You spoke up

But he didn't wait, he continued to put on his shoes.

"Carmy plea-" You rushed over to him, grasping his shoulder and pulling him back.

He shrugged your hand off.

"Carmy, baby.. I don't want- please" Tears started rolling down your face as you came to the realization.

He glanced at you one more time as he made his way out the door, and closed it behind him.

You stood there, utterly lost and exhausted. The sinking feeling in your stomach only getting deeper and deeper.

Carmy did what he needed to do and poured himself into his work. He didn't give himself one minute of free time to let his mind drift onto you. He didn't want to feel the pain in his chest. He just needed to keep himself focused and busy until the pain was buried deep enough that he didn't have to deal with it.

But the sight of you tonight made him vulnerable. The dump truck of emotions that he felt shook him completely.

Days went by, and time went slow. Even in the hectic kitchen, service seemed to be a struggle for Carmy. Simple things that he was usually on top of were slipping through his fingers. He couldn't fuck up, after all the shit he has gone through to get The Bear up and running.

Before he knew it, he was outside your door. He thought that maybe he would have backed out on the way there....

Or outside the building...

Or maybe up the stairs...

But here he was, on 1am on a Tuesday.

"Fuck it" He mumbled, biting down on his lip in annoyance and pausing a moment before knocking on your door.

With an unexpected knock, you snapped your head to the door. You looked at your phone to see it was past midnight.

Curiosity got the best of you, made your way to the door and looked through the peephole.

Your eyes widened to see Carmy on the other side. Your stomach dropped and your mind went blank.

A moment went by and without thinking, you opened the door.

Your eyes landed on his tired ones.

"Carmy.." A word you haven't spoke out loud in months. Your were taken completely off guard and your voice showed that with it's softness.

"I-i" He stuttered looking down, his hand stuffed his wool jacket.

"I thought I would che- fuck.."

You could sense the nervousness off of him, with his tumbling of words.

He looked through his eyelids, with his head hanging low.

"Do you want to come in?" You moved aside giving him room to make his way.

Without another word spoken, he walked past you and the oh so familiar smell of cigarettes, gum and just Carmy filled the air around you.

As much you wanted to convince yourself that it didn't.... It made you crumble inside.

You closed and locked the door, turning around to find his eyes on you.

You looked down and realized that you still were wearing one of his white shirts as pjs. Your stare was back on him, a small playful smile was on his face. A smile he was trying to hide.

The last time he saw you in that shirt, you were bent over on his mattress with it riding up your back with every thrust. The memory made his jeans tighter. He noticed how your hard nipples would peek through, making it incredibly difficult to drag his eyes away from them.

He knew you noticed because you crossed your arms immediately and sucked in your lips trying to hide the blush that was appearing on your cheeks.

A million thoughts were running through Carmy's mind. But to find you in his shirt, short circuited something in his brain. He couldn't get past seeing your face contorted in pleasure or the little whimpers that escaped your mouth.

With your eyes back on the ground, you watched as he slowly walked closer to you until you could feel his body radiate heat onto your arms.

Your eyes followed his fingers as they gently brushed up your arms and over your shoulder. They slowly made their way to the bottom of your chin, bringing your face up to his. Where his eyes were already on yours.

"Carm-"

"Do you want me to stop?" He whispered, his warm breath hitting your lips.

His blue, soft eyes slowly got tainted by something darker.

You shook your head subtly feeling his callous fingertips brush your lips.

Nothing could have stopped you from giving in to him. The very drug that you've been withdrawn from for a year. All you wanted to do right now was overdose.

Without any hesitation from either of you, your lips crashed together.

You felt his hungry with the kiss immediately becoming desperate. He brought his hand up and wrapped it around your neck. The sensation you missed so much. With both of your mouths wanting to taste as much as possible, the kiss turned wetter. You could taste the stale nicotine on his tongue. You felt him lean into you more and more until you caught yourself up against the door.

You felt him pull away for a brief moment, only to be able to catch your breath. His hand still on your throat. His blown out pupils searching yours. His fingers still wrapped around your neck, he brought his thumb up to your lips.

You knew exactly what he wanted. Without hesitation, you opened up obediently, letting his thumb brush up against your eager tongue. He clenched his jaw feeling you gently starting to suck his tongue. It only reminded him of how much he loved your mouth.

Your innocent eyes. swollen lips and wet saliva bringing him to the edge of falling apart.

"Fuck- I've missed you"

#fanfic #fluff #smut #fanfiction #love #carmy berzatto #carmy the bear #the bear #carmy x reader #chicago #carmen x reader #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy smut #carmen berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto smut #carmen 'carmy' berzatto #the bear hulu #the bear fic

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xzhdjsj · 14 hours

Text

Mercy

Zaros x Reader

Zaros is influenced by his mother, you attempt to remove her.

Another old draft because writers block has me in a chokehold😭

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Serulla was never perfect, but what economy ever is? The royal family bears the weight of maintaining order and peace. It is the duty of the sovereign ruler to dictate upon their people means to preserve said peace, and it is their duty to construct strategies while overseeing their nation’s progress. And if required, to preserve peace, veils of partial truth and dishonesty are casted over the kingdom. After all, not everything is fit for public consumption.

"A little white lie never hurts."

And indeed, they usually don't, until the liar finds comfort in their bed of lies and the white bleeds to crimson.

You forced the door of his quarters open, shrugging the guard off your shoulder angrily.

"Zaros Kymen Atha'lin, I request an audience."

The guard followed closely behind, grabbing onto your shoulder to drag you away.

"Leave them be." Zaros orders, and he immediately withdrew. No one questions the words of the King.

"I never expected to see your pitiful face here again. What do you want?" Zaros sneered, his eyes scanning you from head to toe as he approached and shut the doors behind you.

"Tell me Zaros, what have you become?" Your narrow gaze bore into him, "Hiding away behind the polished walls of MY kingdom while MY people suffer in fear because you wish to please your mother?" You spat.

He rolled his eyes, "That is none of your business. Last I checked, you no longer hold any authority here, and nothing here belongs to YOU." He mocked, and his words do what they do best. They fuel your anger.

"You are no longer a child Zaros, and this kingdom is no child's play. If you’re still attached to your placenta by the navel, you are unfit to be Serulla’s King!"

"You're rather bold to insult me when you're no different! Was it not you blindly following your mother into the trial years ago? Did you even want to be responsible for Serulla?" He snapped at you, anger laced in his words.

"I could ask you the same thing, but I don't need to," you shook your head. "I can already see it in your actions. This was never about you, was it? This was about winning your mother's approval, and now you don't care if that harms our people."

"And what would you know about the way I rule MY Kingdom!" He shouted over your own voice.

"I know enough!" You reciprocate his volume.

He scoffs, "You know nothing of what transpires behind these walls."

"Remove you mother from your council Zaros." You declared.

Zaros was taken aback by your tone and seriousness in your eyes, but he remained steadfast. He took large steps towards, closing the space between your bodies until his face was inches from yours.

“I will do as I please with my council,” he said firmly.

He’s stubborn. It made you confident he hasn’t changed much.

“Very well.” You held his gaze, silently challenging his authority. “Then I request a duel.”

Zaros scoffs, standing tall and laughing into the air as he threw his head back. “A duel? On what grounds?”

“If I win, you do as I say and leave your mother out of Serulla’s decision-making processes. If you win, I leave and never meddle in palace affairs again.” You stated, then with a smirk, added, “Unless, of course, you’re scared of losing to me again.”

Zaros’ jaw clenched, memories of the day you beat him down in the Trials flooding back. Even if he emerged victorious in the end, the scar across his back was a reminder of your deep-seated animosity for him. A reminder of what his relationship with you has become, how soured it is. And a constant mocking of how his intentions to fight you without causing harm backfired when you showed him no mercy. Each time he looks into a mirror, he relived the moment he knew for sure you hated him.

“Consider your request approved.” He leans down to whisper in your ear, “And don’t expect me to be as merciful this time.”

#ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh #FIGHT FIGJT FIGHT!#zsakuva #sakuverse #zaros atha’lin #zsakuva zaros #zaros #zaros x reader

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tossawary · 3 days

Note

Ooohh do you have any thoughts on Orochimaru specifically? Would love to hear them, I find his whole deal fascinating.

At the moment, not really? I mean, I just finished the last 100 chapters of the "Naruto" manga and I best remember the Chuunin Exams arc besides that, so while I have a general idea of Orochimaru's deal and backstory, I do not remember the small and specific canonical details that generally make characters super interesting.

One thing that I thought was super funny was that Hashirama, Tobirama, and Minato (and Sarutobi Hiruzen, I guess? He was there doing... something) are carrying a significant percentage of this super long final battle, fighting against Obito and Madara, saving lives and dealing out damage. And they're only there as super powerful undead warriors because Orochimaru resurrected them with his improved Edo Tensai technique. So I think it's fair to say that a SIGNIFICANT part of the final battle is being carried by OROCHIMARU, who might as well be sitting on the sidelines for most of it with a cocktail and a beach chair.

I don't remember the exact details of the human experimentation, at least part of which I'm sure is unforgivably evil even if Orochimaru was doing them on behalf of his village at some point. (Doing that shit on someone else's order is still not good even if all of these traumatized characters were raised to be obedient soldiers since early childhood.) But besides the mad science, Orochimaru generally doesn't really stand out to me as being any more evil than a lot of kage and other senior shinobi.

Like, they are in the business of making child soldiers and killing people for money; that is the general deal of ninja here. Inherently corrupt and violent systems and all that jazz. So, personally, I don't really care all that much that Orochimaru defected and started his own business, because I don't think that most of these characters owe any real loyalty to this broken military state that keeps fucking them and their loved ones over to hold onto its power. I like the fact that he's fun-looking and dramatic and a lot about him as a villain / antagonist calls out everyone else around him as hypocrites.

I don't remember enough about him to fully understand his motivations and be persuaded that his actions make any kind of sense by the story, but a lot of character motivations and their choices to achieve their goals in "Naruto" barely make sense to me. (Note to everyone: this is not an invitation to explain Orochimaru's everything to me. I'll read all of canon properly at some point.) I like the fact that he decided to help against Madara and Obito at the end of the story, because he was like, "Of course I want to save the world? I live here???"

I thought the end of "Naruto" was super abrupt and I can't remember if there was much of Orochimaru in those final chapters. I know he fucked off again and had a kid later, which I find funny. (Half of the time Orochimaru was on screen, I was distracted by Uzumaki Karin, because I wanted to like her as a female character with some cool attributes, I wanted to be in her corner, but every time she appeared, she did something that made me want to strangle the author with my bare hands. I feel entitled to financial compensation.)

#arencezeon #ask tossawary #tossawary naruto #orochimaru #spoilers

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moonlightazriel · 19 hours

Text

Chapter 19: It feels cold and empty /// Azriel X F!Reader

Summary: They try to adjust to a life where they don't have each other anymore.

Word Count: 3K

Warnings: Angst, mentions of fighting and suicide.

Notes: if you're triggered by suicide scenes, please don't read this. If you're not, please enjoy..

Main Masterlist

Worlds Apart Masterlist

She nervously picked at the cuticles of her nails, every pair of eyes watching her curiously, not a word being said since she had been sitting in the council room of Aelin Galathynius’s castle for the last thirty minutes. The double doors burst open and she recoiled into herself further at the sight of Manon’s golden eyes, looking around the room until they landed on her.

“Where the hell have you been?” Her queen’s voice reverberated through the chambers and she took a deep breath.

“It’s a very long story.” Manon nodded, sitting on the empty chair by Aelin’s side.

“We have plenty of time, I actually cleared my schedule for the day.” The younger queen winked at her, she could sense the curiosity pouring out of Aelin since her sentries had brought her there, Meraxes somewhere she didn’t know.

“I don’t even know where I should start..” She took a moment to recompose her breath and looked at the face of her own queen once more. “Let’s start with the golden eyes of a King.”

Manon, Aelin and Rowan didn’t say a thing as she recalled everything that had happened on the time she was away, in too many details she described Velaris and the kindness of the faes she met there, she talked about the powerful wings and the bravery of a new type of people she met. The curses of this land in the hands of the middle born Valg King. She told them how Mantyx went there and how they, just like Elena once did, failed to kill him and sealed him and let the problem to those who would come after them.

She told them how using the powers of Celeste and the cauldron, they broke the seal and killed him in his own home, preventing him from conquering Prythian like he intended to do since the beginning. She talked about the key and the gate, reassuring them that it would never be a problem as they didn’t have any interest in leaving their own world behind.

She talked about the good friends she made, and how she would miss them dearly but she knew she had to come home. She didn’t say anything about Azriel to them, a selfish part of her didn’t want to share him with anyone, he was hers and hers only to keep tucked away in her heart forever, where he would never be hurt and unloved again.

“We’re glad to have you back.” Rowan said after she was done, nodding his head toward the female, his trained eye on the tattoo on her arm, as she nervously rolled her sleeves up, revealing the drawing to them.

“This world you described, it somehow feels familiar, when i close my eyes i can get a glimpse of beautiful stars and snow covered mountains.” Aelin stated, like a distant dream that bubbled in her mind, she had seen it when she was falling through the worlds, the male had helped her stop so she wouldn’t miss her home.

“I can’t even imagine all of that, but as Rowan said, we’re happy to have you back, we should go back home.” Manon said, rising from her seat and thanking Aelin for having them there. Y/N did the same, following her queen outside.

She almost laughed at the thought of calling this her home, as once someone said to her that home is where your heart is, and her was worlds apart from her, with the Shadowsinger she gave it to, the male she would love until the last day she walked this earth, maybe not even death would be enough to erase her love for him.

As she crossed the busy streets, she couldn’t avert her gaze from the statue built for them, their faces sculpted in stone, their swords raised together towards the stars, written in a beautiful handwritten at the base of the statue, she could read.

“From now until the darkness claims us. In honour of the brave warriors that gave their life for this land.” Asterin in the middle of them, leading them to the battle. She hated it, she despised the reminder of the family she lost, the people she never stood a chance of saving, she hated the reminder that no matter what she did differently that day, she could not change their sacrifice. She hated it because it reminded her of how, late at night between sobs, she wished the darkness would claim her too just so all the pain would be gone.

She found Meraxes sat by Abraxo’s side, his eyes distant, looking at where once a gap stood, like he too missed that land. But as Y/N climbed his leg, adjusting herself into the seat, she mumbled to him to forget that. They would never come back, and then, he carried them back to the Witch Kingdom.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

“It’s been four months.” Feyre said, rubbing Nyx’s hair out of his eyes.

“I guess locking him up at the House of Wind won’t work this time.” Nesta remarked, making Feyre roll her eyes at her. The inner circle sat at the dining table in the River House,worried about Azriel’s declining state.

Ever since she left, he had been sadder, angrier, snapping at anyone who dared to show a little bit of concern towards him. They could never imagine what it felt like, knowing your mate, getting to love her and having her falling in love with you too, just for her to be gone, to never come back.

“What if he tries something?” Elain asked, Lucien held her hand in a reassuring grip.

“We won’t allow it.” He said, Lucien was the one trying the hardest to look out for Azriel, because his best friend would be pissed with him if he didn’t try, she would want her mate to be as fine as he possibly could, and Lucien would ensure that for her.

“We could kidnap her back.” Cassian suggested and the whole table turned to him, looking at him like he had three heads.

“Oh Mother, we’re not kidnapping someone, what are we? Hybern?” Rhysand said, eyeing his brother with a glint of amusement in his eyes. “Azriel needs time, how much time he deems fit to get better, all we can do is pray to the Mother that he gets well soon, and show him that we’re here for him.”

“Talking about it..” Elain said getting up, fixing her skirts and nodding towards Lucien. “I’ll check on him.” She grabbed her mate’s hand, receiving an approving nod from Rhys, they winnowed to the House of Wind.

His room was dark and quiet, Azriel lay with his face pressed to his pillows, a dry trail of tears down his cheeks, his hair was messy, his shadows gathered around him quietly, like they too didn’t have the motivation to move.

“Az.” Elain called, crouching in front of his eyes, those hazel orbs that had once radiated life once, were dull and glassy, he didn’t even greet her. “I brought something for you to eat, I’ll open the curtains and Lucien will help you shower, okay?” She said in a cheerful voice, but the male kept quiet.

Elain did as she told, opening the curtains to let some sunshine enter his chambers, he hissed and she took it as a good sign that he could still feel something at least. She removed the covers from him, the blankets disappearing as the house helped her to get his room clean.

“Okay, time to shower.” Lucien said, him and Elain supporting his body, dragging the defeated male towards the bathroom. Elain thanked Lucien for his help as she left the two alone. Lucien didn’t even bother anymore, he had done the same for Tamlin a while ago, so he stripped Azriel naked, letting the male soak in the warmth of the bath the house prepared.

Lucien rubbed shampoo in his scalp, watching as slowly his shoulders started to shake and broken sobs parted his lips. He didn’t know what to say but he would wait if, for once, Azriel felt like talking today. Lucien almost gasped in surprise when the male, in fact, spoke.

“I feel pathetic.” He breathed and Lucien raised an eyebrow. “Four months depending on others because i can’t get a fucking grip.” He sounded angry, hurt.

“There’s no shame in needing help.” Lucien gently replied, washing the bubbles from his hair. “When I lost Jesminda, I thought I would never recover from it.. The days blurred into months, the months into years of being stuck into a horrific void..”

“How did you get out?” He choked in his own tears.

“I didn’t, not fully, and I don't think I ever will. My heart belonged to her, and a part always will, despite me loving Elain with all I have.” Lucien took another deep breath. “When I saw you and Elain together, I found myself back inside that void, sinking into it and letting it consume me.”

“I never apologised for what I did, you’re a good male, you didn’t deserve all the pain we both put you through.” Azriel turned his head to face Lucien, the male just shook his head.

“You took care of her when I couldn't, you gave her a choice, you helped pull her out of that void. I’m not saying it didn’t hurt seeing you two, cuz it felt like my soul was being ripped away from me, I’m saying that I’m willing to look past all of this because she’s worth it, love is always worth it, and if it meant she would be happy, I would go through all of this again, even if she never chose me, just to ensure she would be happy.”

“How would you live, knowing that you can’t have your mate?” Azriel dared to ask and Lucien seemed to think for a while.

“I would just keep going, like I always did. And you should too, I never took you for the kind of male that would give up on life like this.” Lucien nudged him with his hand and Azriel allowed a barely there smile to appear in his face.

“I should talk to you more often.” He snorted. “Thank you for looking out for me.” Azriel said with all the honesty he had in his heart.

“It’s for her.” Lucien confessed and Azriel nodded.

“Yeah, cuz she’s worth it.” He repeated and Lucien nodded. “I think I can assume from here.” Lucien nodded, getting up and leaving the bathroom to give him some time.

“I would never allow you to sacrifice your happiness for me.” Elain said as she spotted him, her eyes filled with tears. Lucien pulled her close.

“We don’t have to think about it anymore, we’re together and that’s all that matters.” He gently kissed her temple and the female nodded, the two sitting in the window, waiting for Azriel to get out of the bathroom.

When he did, she could swear he was a new male, freshly shaved and looking less tired, his cheeks were still hollow and he had bigger dark circles than ever, but she looked better, the talk with Lucien had really helped.

“Come eat something.” Elain gestured towards the plate in his study desk and he nodded, sitting down and eating like he hadn't done in months.

“Thank you two, for everything.” He said, his voice muffled by the food.

“Just doing what you did for me all those months ago.” Elain winked and grabbed Lucien’s hand. “We’re going back to the River House, you don’t have to, but if you want, meet us there.” The male nodded, watching as his friends disappeared, he would go back to his life, he would learn how to live without her again.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Fenrys growled, holding an ice filled cloth to her swollen face.

“He was fucking annoying.” She mumbled, wiping the blood on her sleeve.

“And you had to start a fight with him?” He offered her a cloth, but she declined.

“Asking gently didn’t work the first time, he had to learn.” She simply replied, her head throbbing, she was tired of that conversation.

“I know you left some important people behind, but you can’t keep like this, you’re not even alive anymore.” He shouted, ever since she came back, she had stopped eating, every night she would go out, and find someone dumb enough to start a fight with her, or she would lock herself in her room, screaming as Gods knows what plagued her dreams. She never failed her duty though. Every morning she would appear impeccable, ready to do whatever she was ordered to.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She got up, face to face with him. Fenrys scoffed.

“Do you think she would be proud? Asterin would be ashamed of you.” He said, the anger getting the best of him, seeing his friend wasting her life like this. But at the sight of her defeated expression and tear filled eyes, he regretted it. “I didn’t mea…”

“FUCK YOU, FENRYS!” She yelled in his face, turning away from him and marching. She seemed to remember something, because she turned around, the fat tear streaming down her bruised face. “It wasn’t just some important friends that i left behind, i left my mate behind, maybe this means something to you.”

Fenrys froze, mates were really precious in fae culture, for her to be here without him, having the strength to leave him behind, she was in so much pain, and he just made everything worse by throwing her biggest fear on her face, the fear of disappointing Asterin.

Y/N walked back to the castle, feeling her body numb, the pain in her chest too overwhelming to even feel the cold winds making her shiver. She marched towards her room, she opened the window, feeling the breeze messing her hair that had overgrown.

She just wanted it all to be gone, all the pain, all the sadness, everything. She closed her eyes shut, climbing the railing of the balcony. Maybe he wouldn’t feel anything, so far away from her. The winds were stronger, like they tried to push her back to the safety of her room. She took a deep breath.

“From now until the darkness claims us.” She breathed, feeling the air leave her lungs. That was when she allowed her body to lean forward, the sweet embrace that awaited for her and would bring her the relief she desperately wanted was all she had in mind.

She didn't register the loud horrific roar that ripped the skies, awakening the whole castle. She just felt her body being violently pushed backwards, the air getting knocked out of her lungs as her back hit the stone wall with full force. She opened her eyes, feeling her head spin, the whole room with it as dizziness set over her.

Someone grabbed at her, checking up on her head that bled due to the impact. She heard voices, but the consciousness slipped away from her grasp rather quickly. Until she let it claim her, pulling her into a soft embrace.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

“What’s wrong, Elain?” Lucien asked as he saw the white orbs of his mate. The female shivered.

“She tried to kill herself.” She mumbled and the whole table went still, turning towards her. Azriel felt his heart squeeze in his chest. “And she will try again.” Elain said, her voice laced with sorrow. Two more months had passed since she departed, Azriel was better, back to training and to his duties, but this had dragged him back to that void.

“I’m so sorry to hear that.” Rhys said, he truly was, but they couldn’t do anything.

“We need to go get her.” Nesta replied, already ready to jump through the gates to get her friend back.

“We can’t, remember that she chose to go.” He stared at the angry frown on Nesta’s face, he could feel it pouring out of her but she didn’t say anything to him, he should’ve known better than this.

Cassian watched as everyone finished dinner, going back to their rooms and houses. He watched as Nesta prepared herself for bed, he almost laughed at her antics, she thought she was sneaky, but he knew her better than herself, so as she pretended to be asleep. He got their bags ready.

Later that night, he heard her, slowly lifting from bed, shuffling through their things, quietly mumbling a curse, he kept pretending he was sleeping. He was quick to change into his leathers, sheathing his swords and walking to the living room, sitting in the dark, waiting for his mate.

Nesta gasped when the lights flickered on and she spotted her mate, sitting with two bags at his feet and a big grin spreading across his face. From behind him, surprise filled her at the sight of Elain in pants, her hair braided behind her back, a bag strapped to her shoulders, flanked by both Lucien and Azriel.

“We know you.” She had said and Nesta smiled at her family.

“How are we getting the key?” Lucien asked, and his sister in law just closed her eyes, focusing on that call, pulling it towards her, the same way she had done with the troves. The key appeared in her hands and she grinned.

“Like calls like.” She winked at them, strapping her bag on her shoulder before they winnowed away to Ramiel. As they opened the balcony door, to get easier to go, they spotted Rhysand. He was wearing his sleeping clothes, and was rubbing his temples.

“You’re all so predictable.” He sighed. “I’ll close my eyes for five seconds, and you all better be gone before I open them again. I don’t want to see you here, not without her.” He heard Nesta cheering, feeling the winds change around him as they all winnowed back, to get her home.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

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#azriel shadowsinger #moonlightazriel #azriel #night court #azriel x reader #shadowsinger #sarahjmaas #azriel x y/n #velaris #acotar #azriel x oc #azriel acotar #worlds apart fic

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yingjiaoyue · 23 hours

Text

“Just an offer.”

A fanfic about LunarEclipse. Angst specifically. TW: yk what happens in angst so yeh :3

(Third-Person — At Season 2)

A soft sigh escapes from Jiao Yue as she got up from her couch. Her hand ruffling through her hair as she listened to her overwhelming thoughts. “Fuck… Why can’t I find her…” , she mumbled as she tried to fight back her tears. Making a soft sniffle, she rubs her eye gently and takes a deep breath. It’s been few weeks since Jiao Yue was making a private investigation on where Bai He could be. She knew she doesn’t want to get attached to people easily, but she unexpectedly made a bond with the little girl, and now she’s filled with pain at the thought of loosing Bai He. Her fists clenched as her shoulders drop a bit, feeling hopeless. “… where are you, Bai He…”

Out of nowhere, a shadow portal opens from behind. A simian demon coming out with his hands behind him. “Oho, looking stress now? That’s unusual.” Macaque spoke and Jiao Yue’s body tensed a bit by his unexpected visit. She quickly wipes the tears from her eyes. “What are you doing here, Macaque..” her voice breaking a bit despite trying to sound firm in front of him. Macaque’s brow raised and his smirk replaced with a confused look. “Huh, scratch that, you’re too stressed. What happened?”

“Why should I tell you. I don’t trust you. Just leave.” She sighs, her gaze avoiding him. Macaque sloghtly frowns and crosses his arms. He doesn’t care but it makes him slightly annoyed when she pushes him away all the time. His eyes wandered around, until he notices the photos on her table with few notes. His eye brow raise in curiosity and he smirks. “Looking for a missing person?” His words made her scowl. “That’s none of your fucking busi—“

“You know I have access to almost any area. With my shadow portals, I could teleport you anywhere you need to. Why don’t I offer you a tiny-bity deal here to stop your tears, moonlight.”

His words suddenly caught her attention. She froze, thinking about it. It could be a trap. It must be a trap. But on the other hand, she felt a sense of desperation, but she needed to make sure. “… what’s the catch.” Her words came out stern.

“Hm? Just some of your... powers. Don't worry, I'll bring the girl back to you."

I raised a brow. There's no way I'm just throwing off my powers. But I may have no choice, I just need to reassure myself. “I don’t believe you.”

“Ugh… fine.” Macaque scoffs, he turns around with his back facing her. “It could’ve been a lot easier if you had some help, but I guess if you don’t want to find her as fast as possible, I can just leave—“

“Wait.” One word from her that made his smile wider. “… Fine… please help me.” Her head lowers as her tone is filled with hidden desperation and clear annoyance. Macaque suddenly teleports beside her and he places his hands on both her shoulders, shaking her a bit playfully. “Now that’s more like it. No need to be too hard on yourself, ya know? Sometimes you just gotta ask and a charming powerful demon could give you an opportunity.”

She snorts a bit from his comment. “Charming? Tch.. please, don’t embarrass yourself…” she rolls her eyes and shakes her head in disbelief. Macaque chuckles and nudges her, “Really? I’m trynna help you and you’re already hitting my ego.. ouch.”

“Pfft- So should I say something like.. “I’m so sorry, oh great Macaque. Forgive me for doubting your undeniably charming appearance”… that makes me wanna throw up.” She says with sarcasm as she mocks him, only for him to find somehow annoying but also amusing. “Whatever…”

—————

(At Season 3)

Weeks had passed. They grew accustomed to each other. Macaque casually teleporting into Jiao Yue’s apartment and Jiao Yue now feeling comfortable to wear her casual clothes around him. Sometimes, Jiao Yue starts to show her vulnerability and her senri form to him inside her apartment. He felt quite surprise at first but soon starts to find it rather adorable. Time passed and he would keep on using nicknames on her. Of course, Macaque kept the part of his offer. He’d go out of the building, searching through the entire city to search for Bai He. Unfortunately, it wasn’t making such progress. Until one day, Macaque teleports to her apartment wearing a new suit and his face looking troubled. He just came back after reuniting with Lady Bone Demon… and when he saw that LBD was using Bai He as her vessel, he knew this would be troubling to tell her that news, so he kept himself quiet about that.

“Hey, moonlight…” he mumbles as he stretched and his gaze looks down before shifting towards Jiao Yue in her casual clothes. “Macaque. We need to talk.”

—————

(First-Person POV: Jiao Yue)

I took a deep breath before looking into him, noticing his slightly bothered look despite him trying to cover it with a smile. “Macaque. We need to talk.” I finally spoke.

“Right.. a-about what?” He mutters with a slightly nervous smile. “… I know you’re doing your job, trying to find Bai He and all but… tell me, how long will it take…” My eyebrows furrowed a bit, I noticed his eyes avoiding my gaze suddenly. “It’s just… I don’t want to wait for nothing, you know.. The past few weeks, you told me you haven’t find any trace of her at the city.. I’m not doubting you, I know you’re searching for her but… I can’t wait any longer. I just-“

“Jiao Yue. I really am trying my best to find her. It’s just.. complicated to explain right now.”

I looked at him, a bit confused. “What do you mean complicated?… Have you found her yet?”

I noticed his eyes avoiding my gaze, his arms crossing on his chest as his tail lowers and moves a bit. He looked almost uneasy. I felt suspicious. “Macaque. Tell me. You know where Bai He is, right?”

He didn’t spoke. He kept avoiding my words. I almost felt troubled. Why isn’t he answering? I stepped closer to him, placing a hand to his arm. “Mac.. please. I’m begging you to tell me.. I need to know where she is.”

His eyes temporarily looks at me, his glance filled with almost pity but then he closed his eyes and his head turns to the side. He sighs, I hope for him to say anything.

“… I.. met her but, she’s not.. she’s not her anymore.”

What. What did he mean about that? “Macaque.. what are you talking about? So you have seen Bai He? Where-? Where did you met her?? Since when did you—“

“Jiao Yue.”

I stopped. I moved my hand away from his arm and stepped back. “I’m sorry- I just… I want to know, please.”

His eyes soften for a moment but he turns to look away from me. “She’s… not her anymore. She’s possessed by someone. Someone more powerful than me. I can’t bring her back to you. Bai He is… gone.”

My heart shatters when I hear his words. I feel the tears swelling in my eyes as I stumbled back. “I.. was supposed to tell you this last week, but I didn’t want to-“

“You knew… and you didn’t told me…” I muttered out. A wave of emotions wash over me. I felt sad. I felt desperate. I felt anger. I felt rage. I want to yell. I want to destroy the wall. I want to curl myself and cry for hours. I waited for long, I gave up my powers.. and for what? Only for him to say Bai He is gone. Yet I cling to hope, for him to say anything else.

"But, the powers I gave you–"

"It's over now. It's pointless. She's gone and I... we. We can't bring her back. Not anymore."

"But there's something you can possibly do-"

His look darkens and he growls. "I SAID IT'S OVER, JIAO YUE. WHY CAN'T YOU FUCKING GET THAT TO YOUR HEAD. God, you're so fucking dumb. I clearly said she's gone and you're still hoping for some sort of miracle to bring her back? Are you that fucking stupid?!"

I choked on my own breath. Hearing his words made my heart drop. My eyes widening as he yelled those words at me. "Look, I.. I didn't mean to yell... I just got fed up and I bursted out, moonlight-"

"Don't you fucking call me that."

"... Jiao Yue. I just.. I didn't want to make you upset-"

"You just did. And not only that, you broke my trust for you. I trusted you for once, and what did you do? You kept it as a secret, but you didn't kept your own word." I glared at him, my eyes filled with anger and hatred. "I demand my powers back."

His eyes widen and then he avoids my gaze. "I don't want to."

What the fuck.

"Excuse me? What the fuck do you mean "I don't want to."?? After you taking my powers so you could try to search and get her, WHICH YOU DIDN'T, ... you didn't comply to your deal. So I have the right to fucking get my powers back!" I raised my voice in anger, the tears starting to roll down. But, I looked at him, he showed no signs of sympathy. He looked at me in disbelief.

"CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT IT?! She's gone, Jiao Yue. God, you're so fucking NAIVE. Do you seriously think I'd give you your powers back after I didn't kept my word. Hell no. Are you really that stupid?! I'm a demon, Jiao Yue. It's not my fault you trusted me in the first place."

His words cutting right through my chest like a dagger. Tears painfully burning in my eyes as I swallowed his words in my head. Maybe he's right. It's not his fault. It's my fault. It's always been my fault. I get it.

"... I get it now.. okay.. thanks for.. your time, Macaque.." I muttered, my voice as low as a whisper as I could barely show emotions right now. I felt tired. I felt drained. I didn't want to talk back anymore. I turned around and started walking away, leaving him in awkward yet tense silence.

"Jiao Yue... I'm s-"

"Save it. Go to your new boss. Bai He is gone, I get it. Just... don't come back. Please."

I knew I never should've trusted him in the first place. I knew I shouldn't have but... I did. Maybe because he was the first one to offer help to me? Maybe because I was too desperate? Or I thought he was kind inside, because he was the first person who listened to my vents. Maybe because of this confusing feeling I had towards him. God, I can't fucking do this anymore.

I walked directly to my room, shutting it close and I leaned against the wall. I let myself fall and curled myself on the ground, pulling my knees to my chest and resting my head on top of my arms. I let my tears flow as heavily as I felt, letting myself drown in my tears, my thoughts and my guilt. It's all my fault.

Suddenly, a voice speaks which stopped me temporarily from my crying. "How pitiful... it seems like you had went through something rough, dear.. perhaps I can help you."

I raise my head, looking at a tall guy in dark grey and blue suit with an unnaturally and creepy smile. I frowned, wiping my tears and still crossing my arms. "I don't need your help. I don't want to see anyone."

"Not even... Bai He?"

His words caught my attention. "... You know where's Bai He?" I nearly felt desperate again. But I didn't want to trust another one again easily. "Of course, I'd be most glad to take you to her, my dear...", he extends an arm for me to take as he leaned close. I looked at it for a moment, reconsidering it. I took a deep breath and as I reached for it, Macaque bursts out from the door.

"JIAO YUE! WAIT, DON'T GO WITH HIM!"

I snap my head back and saw Macaque, I glared and my fists clenched. "... Why should I listen to you." I spit my words out with anger and dread.

"Look- Jiao Yue, I know what I did was shit. But you gotta listen, he'll use you--"

"Like how you used me?" I gave him a hard look and he went speechless. I took the creepy guy's hand and he pulls me to the portal behind him and it closes before Macaque catches up.

The creepy guy helps me get up and he places a hand on my shoulder. "Poor creature... what an imbecile for him to take advantage on you, dear.." he mumbles as he starts to lead me though the dark abandoned place. Then, another voice speaks, I looked up and I was surprised to see... Bai He... but possessed.

"Bai He..." I muttered.

She grins at me, but it didn't look as bright and warm as it used to. She smiles... coldly and sinisterly.

"Looks like destiny has brought you to me once again, Jiao Yue."

———

End... or part 2?

#ying jiao yue #lmk oc #lmk macaque #lmk mayor #lego monkie kid #lmk oc x canon #lunareclipse #lmk fanfic

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ratking-mo · 1 day

Text

Pinned To The Matt

————————————————————————

Tags; (slight) scent kink, handjob, dom!gn!reader, sub!character

Synopsis; Your old friend Caleb asks if you want to spare together in a wrestling match! He's slightly more experienced than you, however, so he wins the first two of three rounds. However, when you hit the third round, you're able to get an advantage over him.

Word count; 3.1k

Author's note: first experience actively publishing a work. Let me know what y'all think

—————————————————————————

The smell of sweat and slightly exhausted rubber hit your nose as you entered the large gym, the palm of your hand lightly pressing against the glass of the door beside you. Your eyes glance from side to side as you take in the scenery surrounding you, taking note of the crowded state of the area. There stood people at weight training machines working on their arms or attempting to bulk up their forms fully, and on the other side of the spectrum stood people on yoga mats, trying to push their flexible abilities further. You couldn’t help but shuffle a bit as you walked, using your fingertips to grip your jacket sleeves gently.

Gym culture wasn’t really your scene, to put it lightly. You didn’t enjoy the feeling of prying eyes boring into you, internally critiquing your methods and shape as you tried to mind your own business and train yourself. It could make a man go mad with self-conscious thoughts. If you didn’t work fast.

To prevent this, you chose to work out in private rather than as a conglomerate. However, this was something that could be negotiated. When it comes to friends or others, you didn’t mind going out with them as a type of hangout session. And this was one of those occasions. You lifted your head slightly as you heard a cheerful laugh, followed by a voice calling out your name.

“Dude, over here!!” Your close friend, Caleb, Called out as he waved his hand back and forth. Once he finally caught your attention, he lowered his hand, letting out a soft snicker. “Didn’t think you’d show up!”

You couldn’t help but give a soft smile due to Caleb’s contagious enthusiasm, giving him a small wave back as you started walking over. “I said I’d show up, didn’t I?” you asked in a slightly joking tone of choice before turning your head, and taking another look at the scenery. “This place was a little hard to find on maps y’know..” you commented quietly.

Caleb whistled lightly in response, putting his hands on his hips. “I told you that you should’ve just driven with me!” he mocked lightly before turning around and starting to walk down one of the hallways. “Anyway, C’mon! I was able to rent the wrestling ring for half an hour.” He explained, pointing his thumb down a corridor as you both walk.

Ah, how could you forget? The main reason why Caleb asked you to come in the first place is because he wanted a competent sparing partner. He said you were somewhat above average in build, so you were “good enough” to fight with. You… weren't fully sure, what that meant, but you were up with helping him out nonetheless.

After a few moments of walking, you soon reached a large, empty room with a large green mat on the floor. The was a large white circle within it, seemingly being the border meant for the fighters to fight within. It looked to be slightly worn out, most likely due to being overused and worn out over time. The room itself was dimly lit, other than the light shining in through the windows, and at that there only being a slight amount. But it was enough to navigate throughout the room.

You move your head downwards, unzipping your jacket to reveal a tight-fit black tank top against your semi-muscular body. You let out a lazy yawn as you gently scratch at your chest, the jacket falling off your shoulders as you move. “So,” You spoke out, your voice slightly deepened due to the yawn. “How many rounds are we going for?” you queried, watching Caleb as he stretched out.

Caleb let out a soft hum as he stretched his arms out over his head, causing his loose ft tanktop to move inwards towards his chest slightly. “Let's go fooor..” He drawled, eyes lifting upwards as he gazed at the ceiling. “...three for now?” He suggested before moving to point at you, giving out teasing finger guns as he winked. “Don’t want to wear you out too bad!” He laughed lightly.

You give a mocking eye-roll in response, scoffing. “You’re gonna be the one tapping out at the end of this if anything.” You sharply responded, taking a minute to slip off your tennis shoes and roll off your cat-paw printed socks before walking up onto the mat.

Caleb followed promptly after with a soft chuckle, cracking his knuckles as he moved to stand in front of you.

You both adjusted your stance, legs widening and feet planted against the ground to get a steady stand as your arms spread outwards.

Your eyes narrowed as Caleb’s kept a chipper wide eye stare. He then began to count down.

“3,” he started, leaning forward slightly as if he were to prepare to pounce.

“2..”

“1.” You finished, leaping forward promptly afterward to tackle him.

The two of you were now on your third (and presumably final,) round. Caleb’s cold to the touch sweat slightly slipped against your already moist skin, the two of you battling one another to earn the upper hand. You had his lower half in a lock between your left side and your arm, struggling to push him further downwards as Caleb’s hands tightly gripped at your legs in an attempt to knock you down.

You let out a struggled grunt through your teeth, your feet keeping a firm, yet struggled, plant against the mat. You knew you had to act fast in order to win this round, the score currently being within Caelb’s favor. No matter what,

You did NOT want to see Caleb pull that smug face again.

Thinking quickly on your feet, you move further to the left, pushing all of your body weight on top of Caleb. In response, the other let out a surprised yelp, his knees buckling due to the sudden added weight and planting down against the mat. You take advantage of his stunned state, moving yourself over him. You use your legs to straddle yourself over his hips, push your upper body further against him, and encased him in a firm headlock, forcing Caleb too further down towards the ground. You let out a struggled pant, shortly followed by a laugh as you smirk. “Had enough?” you chuckle out.

Caleb let out a struggling noise as he was subdued, his forehead lightly crashing down against the might as he wiggled within your grip. He took deep breaths in and out as his eyes widened a bit. All that filled his senses was you. The scent of your sweat and musk hit his nose as his breathing grew heavy, the tight grip constricting his throat was due to your sculpted arms. The feeling of your pelvis sternly pushing down against his hips to establish your places.

Caleb could feel heat steadily begin to rise up to his cheeks as his breathing began to get staggered, struggling to remain focused on the current round as his mind began to drift towards cruder thoughts.

“You know you can tap out whenever you wanaaa~” You spoke to him in a teasing tone, grip further tightening against his throat, but not enough to actually cause any physical harm to him.

And then, a noise could be heard.

A noise different from the other ones heard during the match.

“Mmph..-”. The noise was slightly muffled due to Caleb being so closely pushed against the mat, His eyes firmly shut as his torso began to sway back and forth against your crotch slowly.

Your eyes widened slightly, a hint of blush hitting against your cheeks. “Dude?” You called out, your grip against Caleb loosening slightly. Though your hold on him stayed firm, lowering slightly to grip his shoulders lightly.

Caleb’s eyes opened slightly before widening, seemingly forgetting the position you two were in. “S-shit, uh-” he stuttered out in an embarrassed hurry. He made a quick attempt to get his head back into the game, moving his left hand downwards to grab onto your leg while his right hand grabbed onto your arm, attempting to disrupt your balance. “Caught me off guard there!” Caleb stated, trying to keep the mood light after that questionable moment.

A crease forms between your eyebrows as you let out a small huff through your eyebrows. There was something there that he was trying to play off nonchalantly. You move your hands swiftly, pressing the flat of your hand against the back of his freckled neck, and your other hand pushing against the center of his back, firmly planting him across the ground.

You stretch your right leg out, your foot kicked underneath his own to attempt to subdue him and keep him further down against the ground for a longer period.

Caleb visibly stiffened at the sudden touch, his nose hitting against his mat as he went into closer proximity to the mat. The blood quickened, rushing towards his face as he struggled to reach for a pure train of thought. It was rare for him to be caught in such a relationship so easily. He stammered, struggling to find something to say to you.

Then,

he could feel himself going statue-like as he felt a familiar feeling of blood rush downward,

Forming a shallow tent within his shorts.

“Caleb.” Your voice finally spoke up. “Are you alright?? You’re being weird.” You huffed out as your eyes remained fixed on the man beneath you. It's unlike him to be so… finicky.

Caleb moved, trying to shuffle out of your grip with his strength. He rather be dead than let you see him like this. He stretched his hand out forward, trying his best to escape your trap.

“I’m Good! I'm way better than good actually, I'm super good, chill even,”

he rambled on as he tried to wiggle out from your scrutinizing gaze, The dark red blush starting to hit the tips of his ears. “J-just pulled a muscle, you know?? Haha, ha..-” he laughed awkwardly as he tried to shield his face.

Well, that was obviously a lie, now wasn’t it?

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes slightly. This relaxed facade was getting to become a little annoying. You wanted to know what was wrong so you could help him out. That’s what good friends do for one another, right?

You moved the hand that was placed against Caleb’s back, sliding down the side of his leg swiftly before placing a tight grip on his thigh to keep him still. His eyes then shot wide open, quickly wiping his head around. “DUDE, WAIT-!”

You opened your mouth to speak; To tell him if he was hurt, or if he was uncomfortable and wanted to cut this short, that he should tell you. But you were caught off before you could even utter those words, Eyes widening and hand growing still as the side of your thumb gently pressed up against his growing erection.

The form of it could vaguely be felt, due to the thin and breathable material that was the gym shorts. It was average-sized, 4 or 5 inches judging by the feeling alone. Not too much girth, but it was prominent.

You struggled to get any words out of your mouth, only letting out a struggled “Uh,” you contemplated on what your next action should be.

Caleb, meanwhile, had somehow managed to press himself closer against the mat, face covered up in the palms of his hands as he let out a labored breath of embarrassment. “This is so humiliating..” He muttered, his head swaying back and forth in for a slight moment before he moved to look towards you, spreading out his index and ring finger to peek up at you. “Look man,” he sighed, seemingly defeated. “I-I get it if you’re grossed out, we can call it a day or something if you want and-”

Before he could finish his statement, you interrupted him rather abruptly with a croaked-up tone of voice, as if your words weren't planned out in the slightest. (which they weren't, to be entirely truthful.) “ I could help you!” you sputter out.

You then quickly clear your throat, recognizing that that may have came off as pretty desperate. “O-only if you want to, of course, I don't want to pressure you.” You quickly clarified, deepening your tone of voice a bit to come as a bit cooler than what you were in this instance.

Caleb stared up at you for a second, eyes wide as he slowly began to lower his hands. He was… struggling, to come up with a half-decent response to that. Were you up for lending him a hand? And was he really in the mood for passing up such a golden opportunity to get off?

“...I..” Caleb drawled out for a moment, hesitant to give you a straightforward answer. He then sharply inhaled the smell of the mat beneath him hitting his nose once more as he began to throw caution out of the window. “Could..” he started again, pointer finger lightly scraping at the faux latex of the mat. “..could you hold on to my neck again?” he requested, his voice being a slightly softer, hesitant tone in comparison to the earlier bombasticness echoing through his throat.

Your eyes stare him down, slowly beginning to process his request. Ah. Okay. Okay, yeah. You then clear your throat forcefully to snap back to reality, shaking your head quickly. “Y-yeah, of course, man.” you spoke before moving your left arm upwards, assuming a mixture of your current, and earlier position.

‼️

Your hand begins to move, the backs of your fingertips gently dancing against the band of his gym shorts. The pads of your finger gently rubbed against the skin of his pelvis as you began to push forward, trekking new territory. Caleb shivered slightly, moving to push his face further against the crease between your upper and forearm as he tried to process the ticklish feeling. You move forward, allowing your hand to dip further before it is fully concealed within the black shorts.

Your fingers thread through the mess of matted down curled pubic hair, the feeling contrasting the feeling of the hair on his hair. Clearly, Caleb had odd grooming habits when it came to the areas people couldn’t see. You couldn't help but lightly sway your fingers back and forth in silent curiosity, your mind taking in the new sensation. You then felt Caleb shuffle underneath you, letting out a slightly impatient huff. “C’mon, dude, stop fucking with me..” He grumbled out, unwilling to transparently requisition attention to his neglected area. You couldn’t help but give out a soft laugh in response. “Sorry about that..” You apologize before moving your hand further downwards, your fingertips finally making contact with his aching shaft.

Caleb visibly stiffened, letting out a muffled groan into your arm as his eyebrows knitted together. His hips once again began to act on their own, steadily grinding his cock against the palm of your hand. You bit your lower lip slowly as you watched the act unfold underneath you. Oh, the feeling of being needed by another.

What a feeling to envelope one indeed.

Your finger began to wrap around his cock slowly, keeping a firm yet soft grip around the other other. You breathe in, and out slowly to try and give yourself a slight ghost of confidence. Now was the time to go for it if you were truly serious about this. You then gather up your courage, pumping your hand back and forth in a steady motion, the sounds of soft skin flapping quietly echoing through the room.

Caleb’s breath began to hitch, moans spilling out from his lips like song notes. He moved his head, further pushing his mouth against the skin of your arm to try and cover his noises. Wouldn’t want someone to hear, right?

“Oh god..-” Caleb whispered out, his length seemingly starting to stiffen more within your grasp as he let out a slightly shaky sigh. “You experienced in this or something..?” he asked you with a quiet chuckle, attempting to keep the mood light in his own weird way.

You couldn’t help but let out a quiet laugh in response to that, your fingers intimately rubbing at the swollen head. You felt liquid slowly begin to drip out, coating your fingertips. You mentally celebrated at the beginning fruits of your labor.

“I mean,” you finally spoke up.

“In a way, if you think about it?”

Caleb bit his lower lip, teeth lightly puncturing into it, as he attempted to keep his voice low. However, a stifled laugh could somewhat be heard sneaking through. He shuffled further back into you, the warmth shared between the two of you growing ever so cozy as time went on. “Figures.” he jabbed.

You give a faint smile at that, leaning over slightly to gently push your face into the back of his neck. You faintly inhaled as you began pumping your hand at a quickened, harder pace. He smelled faintly of cinnamon cologne, sweat, and sports equipment.

You really don’t know what you were expecting.

Caleb began moving around, his movement being rather erratic as he let out a shaky groan. “Dude-” he stuttered out, squeezing his eyes shut. “I-i’m close,” he whispered.

Your eyes widened a bit at that revelation. Already?? Did people usually have their highs so soon? Was Caleb just an overly sensitive person? Was he healthy? ….Should you keep going even after his orgasm and see what happens? You knit your eyebrows together for a moment as you begin to question and weigh your options for a moment. You then quickly shook your head, trying to focus your gaze back on the task at hand.

The grip on Caleb’s shaft tightened, causing a harmonic noise to be ripped from his throat as his body scrunched. You move your thumb, beginning to rub the head back and forth soothingly in an attempt to encourage him to release. “You’re okay,” you whispered into his ear, further pushing your face against his neck. “Come on.”

Caleb’s nails nearly dug into the skin of your arm as his body shook violently, warm ropes opaque, white, sticky liquid spluttered out and coated the inside of his gym shorts. He began to let out heavy breaths as his body nearly fell towards the ground, eyebrows slightly furrowed.

His face was coated in a soft red dust, body rose and fell heavy as he struggled to get a grip on his reality once again.

You gaze at him silently with half-lidded eyes, feeling the warmth spread to your own cheeks. Did he always look so…

So…

You cleared your throat, closing your eyes for a moment as you took a second to think. You then smiled at Caleb teasingly. “Guess that means I win this round?” you ask him.

Caleb's eyes shot back open in a sudden burst of fiery energy. "WHAT!?" he shouted, quickly turning over so he was propped up on his back. "Hell no, you caught me while I was weak! One more round, that'll be it!" he pointed at you with a soft huff, the red dust on his face still coating it gently.

Well; seems like neither of you will be tapping out anytime soon.

#dom reader #dom!reader #self insert #imagine #smut #sub character #sub!character #gn reader #slow burn

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tealvenetianmask · 2 days

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"I can always do better." A trauma, neurodivergence, and RSD analysis about Blitz because this is how I spend my free time now.

A lot has been made of this line, and I think it says a ton about what makes this show great and especially how it deals with trauma.

This is a show where to main character is a literal demon assassin from hell who accidentally destroyed his whole life in a fire, and that all would be enough to create a damaged, lonely character, but no-- that's all important, but the original root of his self-image issues is that he's spent his whole life feeling never good enough and trying to fight that. It's woven into the story seamlessly, and it's so human scale and relatable.

I've written some posts before about Blitz being neurodivergent (I've focused on ADHD because it's what I know the most about, but folks analyzing him for ASD, yes I see and appreciate you. And dyslexia is there too.). Yes, neurotypical people can also be raised with unfair expectations, treated as commodities, scapegoated by their parents, etc., but also, rejection sensitive dysphoria is so tied to ADHD that it's considered part of the diagnostic criteria. Poor emotional regulation + often getting in trouble for messing up/not being good enough = this feeling that we have to always look over our shoulders because we're not worthy and going to be rejected over and over again.

In this show, we don't just see upsetting flashbacks and connect them to issues in the present. We see a continuous pattern of deep insecurity breaking through a facade of confidence. Then when we see Blitz at his most vulnerable in The Full Moon, he's just a kid again begging for a chance to prove himself.

For Blitz, social class plays into this too (the idea that it's rare for an imp to run a business? To even get looked at by someone like Stolas?). I like that it's not simple. I like that there are pieces of his psychology that lots of different people can relate to in different ways. I love Blitz, and I love this show.

#stolitz #blitzo buckzo #blitz #blitzo #helluva boss #my helluva meta #the full moon #helluva boss full moon #maybe don't teach your kids that love is conditional #cash fucking buckzo #is lurking around here somewhere

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k-slla · 3 days

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Fate, Or Something Like It | part 1

Little bit of a crossover between The Boys & Suits

A/N: So this is the last square filled on my first card for @jacklesversebingo ! Honestly didn't think I'd get to this, but look at that! 😄

Square filled: "You made me get out of my pajamas for this?"

Also using the chance to post it as my first entry to @artyandink's JENSEN-A-THON.:) (I was said there is no max word count😅)

Based on THIS request that an anon sent me and it will be a 2 part story :)

Word count: ~12.9k | My Masterlist

Both parts will have separate warning, in this one you will find: Slightly OOC Ben, naive reader, physical assault, choking, language, angst, mentions and descriptions of torture, use of drugs and alcohol, mentions of past traumas, partial frontal nudity, size kink(if you squint), brief Fem masturbation -I hope I didn't miss any:)

Special thanks to @nescaveckwriter - for your help and inspiration torture through all those gifs you hyped me up with! 😈Love you, Nes!

ENJOY!

If anyone would’ve asked you right now ‘Are you happy?’ you could've easily answered them with a simple ‘yes’. Saying you were a workaholic, would've been definitely an understatement, but it was a good thing that anything else in your personal life didn't require that much attention, so you happily took on as much work as possible. At least it kept you busy.

You were working at Pearson Hardman, one of the top law firms in New York. With a professional long-time dream of becoming a senior partner in the firm, you were glad to see that your efforts were slowly paying off. Only one obstacle stood in your way - Harvey Specter. Harvey was a good attorney, you had to admit that. Probably one of the best New York has ever seen, but you hoped to have a chance to prove that you were better.

You didn't hide your ambition of becoming a partner from anyone and Jessica saw how hard you worked to deserve that spot amongst them. The other partners saw that. And you knew that even Harvey saw how much you were ready to sacrifice for the job. You practically lived in your office. And if that was what it took to reach your goal then sleeping in your bed and having a personal life were small things to give up on. But Harvey shared that mentality, and you were well aware of that.

Both of you had been competing with each other ever since you met in Harvard, so it wasn't exactly a surprise that this position was basically up between you two, too. But a friendly competition hurt no one, if anything, it gave you the drive to work even harder than before. And you loved it. So yes, you could've said you were happy with your life, because then you just didn’t know yet what, or rather who was missing from it. Until you ran into the man, who'd then turn your life upside down just in a week.

There he was waiting in front of your work place one evening. You had to admit, he was hard to miss in his green super soldier outfit, but you walked right past him, which just seemed to offend him, judging by the sudden shift of his attitude. Of course you knew who he was, how the women threw themselves at him. All the ladies’ favorite Soldier Boy. You could’ve bet he expected the same kind of reaction from you he had already gotten used to.

But you didn't fall for his look. You didn't have strength to react to him in any way, so you continued on your way, trying to get home to sleep. Out of nowhere someone yanked you backwards towards the alleyway. A quick ‘hey’ was all you managed to say, before you saw that it was in fact Soldier Boy who had attacked you.

There was no one around at the moment so just screaming for help wouldn't have worked. Not that it would've even with people around you. He was huge and could easily take on anyone in a fight, but you still tried to get yourself away from him. “No! Let me go!” you grunted. Having a hard time keeping up with his long strides, you were around the building already as he dragged you after him into the alley, pushing you then roughly against the wall. “What do you want from me?” you gritted through the teeth as he held you against the wall, trying your hardest to get yourself free from him.

“Nothing much, doll. Just a little…payback.” He whispered, coming in closer to your face, his low voice vibrating in your ear. With a grin, his hand slowly rose from your chest up to your neck, cutting off the air from you. You fought hard trying to pry his hand away from your neck, but he only tightened his grip.

“I…haven't…done anything…to you.” You said with a strained voice. You could already feel his hurt, anger and hate, it was just radiating from him. You tried to get through to him, to try to ease him from all that, help him, but all you got was what he's been through for those close to 40 years that he was considered dead. Seeing what he went through, you knew that's what he probably wished for as well.

You were also a supe, but one of those unimportant ones, who besides The Seven didn't really exist to the rest of the society. Luckily you weren't shooting lasers from your eyes, so it was easy for you to hide your power from others. You were a healer. Kind of.

You could feel what the person had been through, by physical contact. That's how it usually was. It came to you as a sense of negative emotion they had, caused by their experienced distress and trauma, and you “healed” them - erased the pain etched to the memory. But sometimes, when those memories were stronger, they ran in your head like movies. Sometimes, they even caused you physical pain.

“Don't fucking lie to me! You were there! I saw you.” You already started to get light headed, but gathering your last strength, you managed to kick him. No surprise - it had no effect on him, but it still made him lighten his grip around your neck slightly.

You could feel everything he was put through. The torture. The betrayal. And all the hurt that had remained. It was too much for one person to go through, even for a supe like him.

The images of his memories in Russia started to flash before your eyes. Pictures of him restrained- being shot at, burned, poisoned, electrocuted. All that pain over and over again.

You saw all of it through his eyes. You felt everything he was put through. He may be hard to kill, probably impossible even, but he still felt all that pain and torture. It all must've left some mark on his psyche.

Hot tears started prickling in your eyes. What you weren't sure of was the reason why. Were they just your body's natural response to him choking you or did you feel sorry for him? First option sounded like a reasonable choice, but you knew your heart was leaning towards the other end. Your naivety got you believing that even someone like Soldier Boy didn't deserve that.

“I wasn't there. I heard what they did, but I wasn't there!” You couldn't tell him about your power, what you had just seen, he'd never believe you and would probably kill you right then and there.

But Ben on the other hand was sure he wasn't imagining things. He might have downed a bottle of pills and a whiskey before coming for you, but his mind was clear. As much as it could've been. He didn't get much influenced by drugs or alcohol before, but after Russia something had changed. He had no idea what they'd exactly done to him, but he started to get occasional blackouts from drugs and those fucking obnoxious Russian tracks that started ringing in his ears every time someone pissed him off. Even now he was a little bit out of it.

He knew what he saw when the Reds had him held up. He thought so at least. Every day, or night even, when they experimented on him, tried to kill him, or whatever the fuck they were doing, there was a woman. Spitting image of the one in front of him. The one that he was most eager to find.

She took away his will. His will to fight back. She took away his will to break free from his restraints and to rip the heads off them one by one, leaving as his only option to wait for his love to come to save him, not knowing she was part of the team who had betrayed him. She had left him to rot in the hopelessness of his own mind.

But focusing on the woman standing in front of him, Ben's mind was getting a little foggy. Fuck...was it even her? She's not using her power. She's scared, polar opposite to the woman he saw in the lab - cold as ice, lifeless. For a moment he thought that his mind had just started to fill the blanks. She’s…different. She's not even trying to control me. Am I just high?

Ben was getting truly hesitant of trusting himself. He almost wanted to let her go, when he realized it was just some trick on him. It had to be. She is playing with me. Like she did there.

“I saw you! You were there, every goddamn day when they tortured me! Playing your fucking mind games with me.” He wasn't giving up. He had a list. He had almost forty years to think of each one of them who betrayed him, how to make them pay. Of course he started with Countess. She sure was surprised to see him alive. And finally when he had found you, he now had second thoughts.

“No...I.. wasn't! I...please...” Your words were slowly dying on your lips. If it weren't for the group of teenagers walking by, Ben would've most certainly killed you. He threw a sideways glance at them. As tempting as it might've been, he knew better than to kill with witnesses around. Not to mention kids. He still had some reputation to maintain. Not that he really cared about that. But he knew he'd have another chance with you. He'll make sure of it. Ben let go of you and you fell straight to the ground. Without missing a beat, you grabbed your bag that you had dropped and ran from him, not daring to look back. “The fuck you're staring at?” You heard him shout behind you, aiming it towards the teens who had begun staring at you two.

When you finally got home - much, much later than you had expected - you had no energy left to cook or clean. All you wanted was a relaxing shower and a decent amount of sleep for a change. Mindlessly you sat under the hot stream of water on the bathroom floor and the events of tonight really got to you.

He was ready to kill you tonight and still you were sympathetic for him. While studying the pattern of the floor tiles for a long time, you got more certain with each passing minute that there must be something wrong with you, because there was just no other reason for you to feel sorry for him. You were so stuck in tonight's events, you didn't even notice the water starting to run colder, until the sudden icy water falling onto your shoulders brought you back. Trying not to slip, you scrambled out of the shower as quickly you could.

You couldn't sleep that night. Not as much as you had hoped at least. You couldn't stop thinking about his words that were still echoing in your head.

“You were there, every goddamn day when they tortured me!”

It was almost four decades ago. You weren't even alive then. He must've been just hallucinating there. There couldn’t be any other explanation. Wouldn't be a surprise exactly, too, if you thought more about it, considering what he went through.

Finally, very early in the morning, you managed to fall asleep. But in all those barely three hours of sleep that you got, you had one sight in mind. Green eyes. His eyes. Full of hate and anger towards the world around him, and trying to hide the pain eating him up from the inside. You knew it was probably not his plan to let it show, but he just didn't know who you really are.

For the remaining two work days you had left before the weekend, as hard as it was, you were fortunately able to push the incident with him from your mind and focus fully on work.

And on Friday night, another asshole, a lot friendlier than Soldier Boy, but still a kind of jerk, flew in to ruin your night, again, in the form of Billy Butcher.

“Hey there, sweetheart.”

Your friendship with Billy was, to put it mildly...odd. He only called you to ask “favors” regarding your power, every now and then, and while you had no reason to give in to him, you just couldn't bring yourself to say no. But considering how the last few times have gone, this time he called to probably claim your soul.

“What do you want?” Just a call from him had already put a dent into your peaceful evening, so you were in no mood for him beating around the bush.

“What? No hello?” He laughed, but not getting a reaction from you, he continued. “Straight to the business then. Can a..uh.. let's just call him a friend of mine..can he stay with you for a week?” There was silence on the line for a second. “Or possibly two?” Billy added under his breath.

“What! No!” You couldn’t get your rejection at his plan out any faster. “Not after last time!”

“Hey! Don't blame me for that. I didn't know they would…nevermind..” he muttered. “I just really need someone to keep an eye on Ben. He's.. He's been through some stuff and has a bit of a “shell shock” as one might say.”

You heard a little shuffling on the other side and a faint grumpy voice. “I don't have shell shock. Fuck you!”

“I'm not letting anyone in my apartment again.” You stood your ground.

“Sweetheart, I'm begging you! Really am! Just this one time.” You sensed from his voice he was getting a bit desperate.

“Is she bitching?” You heard that same low voice as before.

“You can tell your friend that I heard that and I do not appreciate it! My answer is no!"

“Ben, shut it. Please, I need someone I trust to look after him. He needs help and I know you, you really are the only one who can help him.” Billy said quietly into the phone.

“No. I have work and I don't want anyone in my home when I'm not there.”

“Fair! How about this then...”

You had no idea how he managed to convince you to move into their headquarters or apartment or whatever they chose to call it. Not a fucking clue. But here you were with your suitcase, ready to move in for an indefinite time. All this had only one upside for you - shorter commute to work.

Standing outside, you called through the intercom, and waited for Butcher to answer. Probably knowing it was you downstairs, he opened the door immediately. You really felt luck being against you lately, so it came to you as no surprise that the elevator, too, was out of order. With a heavy sigh, you braced yourself for the stupid amount of stairs ahead.

When you made it to their door, you were absolutely out of breath. Why couldn't I have flying as my power? That would have come handy right now. No, no, no...I am a healer. Unfair.

You knocked on the door, still trying to calm your breathing. After a moment, Butcher finally opened it. “Hello, luv! You made it!” You wanted to beat this shit-eating grin off his face. Too bad he was stronger than you. “We were about to start betting on how long it would take for you to get up here.”

“That piece of shit elevator is out of order again.” You grunted, pulling your suitcase into the room after you.

Setting it down in the living room, you looked around in the apartment. You saw only Butcher and Hughie around. “So? Where's that friend of yours?” The grin on Billy's face grew wider.

“I swear to God, if that was just some joke that you two tried to play on me..” you were still out of breath, but tried to sound threatening, although, there wasn’t much you could do to him. Maybe to Hughie, yes, if he was in on the joke, but not to Butcher.

“No, not a joke. He's real and I bet you'll get along nicely.” It seemed as if Ben had heard you, and sauntered cockily out of his room. “So, where's the new roomie...?” His smug grin only widened when he saw your dumbfounded face. You defensively took a step back. “No, Billy, hell no!”

Butcher stepped protectively in front of you. “Relax, he's not gonna bite.”

“Not gonna bite?! He tried to kill me less than three days ago.” You hissed as an answer, glaring at Ben, as you learnt was his name, over Billy's shoulder.

“And now he'll promise to behave, right, Ben?” Ben rolled his eyes at you and walked into the kitchen. “Whatever.”

You stared after him. “Why can't someone else babysit him?”

“We have some work coming up. Listen. I know what happened between you two. He told me and right after I explained to him that there was no possible way for you to have been in Russia all this time ago. But, Y/N, you're the only one who can help me. Please.” It was really out of his character to see him beg for something.

You stood in silence for a minute. You spineless piece of… You cursed yourself in your head. “Where’s my room?"

Waking up next morning you were glad that it was Saturday. You had the whole weekend to assess this…situation. You were the first one up and started making breakfast for everyone. Butcher was still snoring on the couch in the living room, as Hughie probably claimed the last free room to himself. You have always been more of a ‘forgive and forget’ type of person. Always seeing the best in people. Even if it took time to let go, you never were one to hold a grudge. It would have been totally understandable for you to walk out this time, too, but all you wanted was just to try to let go of what had happened with Ben a few days ago, so you tried to be nice.

You knew you two wouldn't be friends, not like with Hughie or Butcher, not that you were very close to them either, but you hoped that you could at least be civil around each other for the few weeks now that you had agreed to live with him.

In the middle of frying up some bacon, you heard a bedroom door opening, so it was either Hughie or Ben. A second later, from the corner of your eye, you saw a figure appear on the kitchen door.

“That's what I like to see - a woman in the kitchen, right where she belongs.” Definitely not Hughie. You were about to shoot back some snarky comment, when you finally took a look at him. “Shit...” You mumbled quietly.

Leaning on the doorway, Ben was wearing only some green floral silk robe that hung open on his shoulders. Nothing underneath it. The unexpectedness of seeing his cock the first thing in the morning hit you hard. Your mind went blank and against your will, you had to admit that you were quite literally hypnotized by him.

“Like what you see, sweetheart?” A low chuckle rang in the distance, bringing you out of your short daydream. You blinked at him and blushed hard, realizing you had been just standing there, staring at him. Talk about morning wood. After letting out a long exhale, your focus was now fully back on bacon. “P-please put on s-some clothes?”

He slowly walked towards you, not closing the robe. Heat started to climb up your cheeks when he stopped next to you. “You do like the view.” Ben said smugly and snatched a piece of bacon from the plate. Not even a question this time. He knew the effect he had on you. You couldn't even deny it to yourself.

“Stop harassing the poor woman and put on some clothes.” Billy grumbled from the couch.

“You're no fun.” Ben said to Billy before stepping in even closer to you, seizing the last of the personal space you had left and whispering. “But soon we'll be all alone and I'll tell you, sweetheart, you'll fuckin’ beg for it.” He winked and you just stared at him, mouth slightly agape.

“Bacon's a bit burned, by the way.” Ben grinned and finally covered himself before turning around and leaving the kitchen.

Rest of the day went luckily quietly, with you staying mostly hidden in your own room. Kimiko, Frenchie and MM came around noon, to talk through the last minute changes on the plan for their new job.

“So, please don't kill each other. Or I mean, Ben, don’t kill her.” Hughie smiled at you and Ben, before walking out of the door, making you roll your eyes at his back.

“And don't tear the place down, if you decide to...you know…get acquainted better. Which you probably will.” Billy said with a smirk. “If you do, you fix it up. Got it?” He continued sternly.

“Got it.” Quick slap from Ben landed on your ass, making a shrill yelp escape from you.

“Hey! We're not - I - he won't..!” Your brain short-circuited again, for the second time today, because of Ben. Butcher winked knowingly and then turned around to leave. “See ya!” With a wave, he was out the door.

You were now left alone with Ben, who scoffed beside you. “What's your problem?”

“Don't even get me started.” You mumbled quietly and walked past him into the kitchen.

“I heard that!” He called after you.

“Good!” You looked back at the doorway, and saw Ben stomping towards you. You rolled your eyes and started to make some coffee.

“No, seriously. What's your problem?” He crossed his arms.

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “Do you really want to know?”

“That's why I asked.”

You fully turned towards him and leaned on the kitchen island with one hip. “My problem is that three days ago you tried to kill me, without any explanation, you haven't even apologized and now you're acting like nothing's happened, and I'm stuck here with you because of my inability to say no. So there you go.”

“Actually, I had an explanation.” He said absentmindedly, before stepping in front of you, squinting his eyes and pointing his finger at you. “And, no, that's not your problem, but I know what it really is.” He said slowly.

You waved your arms in front of you, his cockiness started to slowly infuriate you. “Please, enlighten me.”

Ben bit his bottom lip and raised his eyebrows with a little nod. “You haven't been properly fucked for a while.” He said boldly, making you fume on the inside. “Yeah. That's it. I can see all that...frustration in you, sweetheart.” He was now grinning ear to ear, flashing his bright smile. “More than happy to help you out.” He added with a simple shrug. “You're a tad bit young for me, but I can look past it. I tend to go to women with a bit more experience.” He left you completely speechless and the grin on his face grew wider with each second you sputtered in front of him, blinking rapidly as you tried to figure out something to say.

“Ew, just stop it, okay!” You blurted out finally. “Can we just try to be normal around each other for one day, without you making some lewd suggestions about my personal life?”

Ben's eyes twinkled mischievously. “Okay.” He shrugged and then raised his finger. “I'll give you one day.” And with that he walked out of the kitchen and left you there standing, cursing the choice of words you had made.

“Fuck me..” You muttered, realizing that now Ben will probably start riling you up even more.

“What was that?” He appeared again on the kitchen door with a wicked smile on his lips, clearly hoping he had heard you correctly. You had to admit - Ben was hellishly handsome, too handsome for his own good and of course he knew that. You couldn't hold back the chuckle that escaped from your lips, seeing that little playful glint in his eyes.

“Nothing!” You called out quickly, face turning red.

Note to self - be careful when speaking to yourself. Man has super hearing.

You had to be grateful that at least Ben did keep his promise and kept to his own on Sunday.

A blood-curdling scream woke you in the middle of the night. You were certain that you had just dreamed it, because when you sat up in bed, it was all silent around you. Until you heard him again.

So this is what Butcher meant by helping him.

It now kind of made sense also, why he called you in the first place. Obviously it wasn't just to keep Ben company. You dragged yourself out of the bed and made your way to his room next to yours.

You could hear the strained screams even through the door. Not bothering with knocking, you pushed it open and entered his bedroom.

Ben was cramped up in his bed, like in a shock. His teeth were bared, grunting almost animalistically, and his breathing was rapid.

You could instantly feel your own breath getting caught in your throat and tears starting to well up in your eyes. “Ben.” You said quietly and sat down next to him on the bed.

Whatever he was experiencing right now must've been some of the most horrible things you could ever imagine.

You put one hand on his chest, trying to gently wake him up. Instead you got more nauseous every second, feeling like a knife was twisted in your guts and every inch of your skin was on fire. You were unable to control the tears streaming down your cheeks. The flashbacks you started to get were horrible. You felt every stab, cut and burn he had gotten. They made you physically want to vomit. Never before have you reacted this strongly to someone. But never before have you met someone who has experienced so much pain like Ben. You tried your hardest to keep the disturbing images from creeping up in your mind.

“Ben, wake up!” You softly stroked his head, grimacing along with him, seeing his beautiful features distorted from pain. You couldn't take it anymore. Placing both of your hands on his face, you turned him towards you. To be able to help him, you had to calm down yourself first. With what Ben went through, this was surely going to be a challenge. You closed your eyes and focused on your breathing and the feeling of his face in your arms. He still hadn't woken up, so you had to get him to calm down in his sleep.

It took a long time. It took so much more from you than it usually did. You could feel your energy drain. Ben was still cramped up, strained groans leaving his lips, but slowly you were able to ease your breathing. Tears were still flowing down your cheeks but your mind was getting clearer with each exhale, until there was nothing left. No pain. No flashbacks. You felt Ben quieting down next to you, his body slowly starting to relax. Your eyes were still closed, when you heard him waking up. You had hoped to be gone already when he would wake, but now it was too late.

“Y/N? What- where am I?” He was drowsy and confused about his surroundings. Seeing him awake, you immediately pulled your hands from his face to dry your eyes, so he wouldn't see you crying.

“It's okay, Ben. You're fine.” He rubbed his hand over his face, visibly more confused now. He turned to look at you, brows knit tightly together. “Wait, what are you doing here? What did you do to me?”

You turned away from him on the edge of the bed. “I didn't do anything. I just heard you scream and came to check on you.”

You knew he didn't believe you. You didn’t even believe yourself what you were saying.

“Don't lie to me. Who are you?” Ben sat up in bed.

“I am not lying, Ben. I didn't do anything.”

You saw that he was quickly getting annoyed, angry even. “I don't wake up from these dreams just like that. I have to…suffer through them.” Ben gritted, glaring at you. “And you are here, crying. Who are you?” He repeated himself and quickly got out of bed, pulling you up with him. “Tell me!”

“Alright, fine! Just so I can go to bed.” You yelled back. You looked down at his hand grabbing your shoulder painfully. “Let go of me, then I'll talk. Thank you.” You added in a slightly softer manner when he let go of your arm, but hesitantly waited for a second before you started talking. “I…am a supe, too, although my powers aren't as good as “The Seven” or whatever, but I am a kind of healer.” You started cautiously, being afraid of his reaction. “Like almost an empathic healer?” You added and took a glance at him. You could see he was not following you at that moment. “It means I can feel and heal people's emotional traumas. Well, I don't “heal” heal, but you know, make them less painful over time.” You were pacing around the room, not knowing what was going through his head. “That's why Butcher even called me in the first place. To come and help you.”

“Why didn't you just tell me that?” He asked, voice quieter than before.

“I don't know.” You shrugged.

Ben sat down on the bed again and you thought he wanted to go back to sleep, so you started to leave the room.

“Wait.” You heard him suddenly ask behind you. He stared after you with a questioning look in his eyes. “Why were you crying?”

You got slightly embarrassed, hoping he hadn't noticed that. “Um...Well, when I say I feel the pain, I actually tend to feel it. It comes to me almost like memories or sometimes flashbacks through the eyes of the person going through it, but..uh..I feel it all that too. Tonight was actually the first time I've cried. It was just too much today.” You stood on the door and kept your eyes down on the floor.

Feeling like you had overshared, you quickly muttered “good night” under your breath, and almost ran out of the room. You heard Ben call something after you, but you didn't stay to hear what he had to say. He didn't follow.

Now it was Monday morning and you were again making breakfast before you had to go to work. After leaving Ben's room last night, you couldn't fall asleep, so you tried to think of a few simple rules to have set up for the time you two were living together. But with Ben being as he is, you were certain he'd not welcome them warmly. So first you needed to bribe him. Just a little.

You had set everything on the table, coffee, bacon and eggs and whatever else you thought he'd like for breakfast. You sucked in a quick breath before you went to wake him up. You knocked on the door and opened it. “Hey, Ben! Wake up!’

He only lifted his head to look at the clock on the bedside table. “No.”

“Yes. We have to talk before I go to work.” You picked up some sweatpants and a t-shirt from the chair by the door and threw them on his bed. “And put some clothes on.”

When he saw that you were not leaving, Ben finally sat up in bed. It took all of your willpower not to let your eyes wander over his body, barely covered by the familiar green silk robe. “Damn it, woman. It's 7 in the morning.” He opened the drawer next to the bed and pulled out a ready rolled joint. You made no effort to hide the disgust on your face as he lit it and took a long drag on it. “Seriously?” You looked between him and the reefer between his fingers.

“What?” He shrugged, clearly it has become a part of his routine.

“It's 7am. That's really the first thing that goes into your mouth in the morning after waking up?”

Ben pulled the blunt from his lips with a smirk and took a long look at you up and down. “I mean, if I'd have you in the bed with me, this definitely wouldn't be the first thing in my mouth.”

You crossed your arms on your chest, hoping to hide the jolt of unexpected arousal that ran through your core.

“Stop that. I made breakfast.” You said sternly as you walked out of his room. “And put the clothes on!” You added over your shoulder.

You sat at the kitchen table with a notebook, writing down some basic rules you'd both have to follow. You hoped that Ben could be reasonable about these few things. It was nothing major. Just to make sure you both agreed on cleaning after yourselves and some compromises over cooking.

After a little while Ben finally joined you in the kitchen. You were focused on reading a news article on your phone, when you heard him opening and closing the cupboards looking for a cup for himself. You looked up at him, and you almost choked on air, but managed to disguise it as a simple cough. Of course Ben wasn't fully dressed. It was clearly too much to ask of him.

His bare back was turned towards you, muscles flexing as he reached for a cup. You didn't want to, but couldn't hold back on checking out the rest of his body, too. More importantly, you were quietly admiring the way his sweatpants hugged his butt. Usually you were not one to thirst over men, but something about Ben felt different. You almost had completely forgotten his attack on you, which you knew was wrong, but given what you saw that night then and now again last night, you knew that there was more to him than he let on. He had been through a lot and it wasn't his fault. You wanted to believe that not all of it at least.

You gave Ben a few minutes to wake up properly in silence. You decided that you weren't going to talk about last night if he wouldn't bring it up himself.

“So, I wanted to talk about house chores with you.”

He looked at you with a completely dead face. “You made me get out of my pajamas for this? Are you having a stroke?”

It was not easy for you to hold back laughter. “First of all - no, I'm not having a stroke.” You took too big of a bite out of your breakfast sandwich. “Secondly - you really call that silky green pornstar robe a pajama? Are you a five year old?” You started choking on your food, trying to keep a straight face asking this from him.

“I don't know. Sounds to me like you're just jealous. I can lend it to you, you know? It's very comfortable.” A genuine smile, the first one you’ve seen from him, lit up his whole face. He took his plate and got up from the table. God, he’s gorgeous. You gave yourself a mental slap and stopped that thought right there. NO, Y/N. You can’t think like that. He literally tried to kill you. It started to feel dangerous already being around him, and it was only the start of the third day. You cleared your throat before speaking.

“No, seriously though. We have to set up some basic stuff to keep the place tidy for both of us. It's not the 50s anymore. Women have jobs now, you know. I have a job, too and I will not take everything onto my shoulders.”

“Mm, yeah, not gonna happen.” Ben took his food and disappeared into his room.

“Oh, come on! Ben!” You called after him, but the only answer you received was the loud thud from the door shutting behind him. This went as well as I had expected. You sighed defeatedly and started to clean up the kitchen before heading to work.

Meeting after meeting, one deposition on top of the other, your day passed excruciatingly slow. And it was just Monday, which was already the downside to begin with.

On your way out of the office building, you pulled out your phone. On your lock screen glowed notifications of unanswered calls and a message from Ben, asking you to pick up some whiskey and drugs.

You rolled your eyes, already regretting giving him your phone number. Hughie had taught Ben how to use a smartphone. You can only imagine how that must've looked to a bystander. For a scrawny little dude, Hughie must have iron nerves to have kept up with Ben.

Before you could text him back, a call from Jessica came in and a sense of dread washed over you.

“Hi, Jessica. What can I do for you?”

“Hello, Y/N, I know you left the office for the day already, but please come see me first thing in the morning. We need to talk.”

We need to talk. That definitely didn’t ease your mind. You breathed deeply for a moment before answering to her. “Alright, I'll see you tomorrow.”

You knew what this was going to be about. They’ve decided on who to offer the Senior partner position. And judging by Jessica’s voice, it probably wasn’t going to be you. Scratch that. It definitely wasn’t going to be you.

You did a quick trip to the grocery store, picking up coffee and some things for dinner tonight. And you didn't forget Ben, and got him whiskey, although drugs were where you would draw the line. You will not be one to supply him with drugs.

Walking home from the corner store, you had some time to think. You wanted that position. You wanted to give your contribution to developing Pearson Hardman to its best. You wished to have the same kind of impact on junior associates, like Jessica had on you when you first started in the firm. You’ve given a lot to work yourself up. It didn’t feel selfish to you to think that you deserved that. But even if you wouldn’t get it, you knew it wouldn’t be the end of the world.

Becoming a partner would be one of your biggest goals in professional life, but at the end of the day, you were still working to help people. And that's what matters. That’s what you tried to focus on at least.

You tried to push all the work thoughts out of your mind so you could relax just for a few hours that's left of the evening before you'd pass out on the couch. You threw together a quick dinner for both you and Ben and went straight to bed afterwards, hoping that you’d get more sleep this time.

But again, you woke up in the middle of the night, hearing his screams from the other room. It was only the second night and already you could feel it drain you more than the last night.

You stood at the door for a minute, just staring at him. How you were supposed to last two weeks or longer doing this almost every night, you had no idea, but now you knew that you couldn’t just leave him either. If it was in your power to help him, you had to at least try. No matter what he’d done. No matter what he would do. Knowing what he had gone through, it had already become impossible for you to just walk away from him. So you didn't.

For over an hour you were by his bed tonight, barely holding yourself together as you got him through the nightmare.

“I don't need your help. I'm fine,” Ben snapped at you as he woke up and rested his head against the headboard with a sigh.

“Yeah, looks like it.” You stared at him for a minute, but seeing he wouldn't even look at you, you scoffed and got up from the bed.

“Fine.” You left his room in a hurry and closed the door behind you with a loud thud.

You pulled the blanket over your head, trying to fall back asleep. After laying in bed for almost an hour, you finally managed to get some sleep, but only a short time later, your alarm pulled you out from deep sleep and you had to back down from the urge to throw your phone across the room. Exhaustedly you sat up in bed and let your legs hang over the edge.

You had all your hope put into a morning shower and a strong coffee to make you somewhat functional, but today they chose to let you down. You were still tired and distraught from Ben's dreams from the night.

You know that these dreams are tormenting him almost daily, but if he says he doesn't want help, should you even keep doing that? Should you still put yourself through all that pain? It hasn't been this bad while helping others, but with Ben, everything felt tenfold stronger. You could feel yourself being so close to breaking already.

Jessica was already in the office when you arrived, despite it being a few hours before the official start of the work day. She really is the perfect example of a self-made woman and you were definitely lucky to have her as a mentor.

You knocked on the open door of her office. “Hi, Jessica, you wanted to see me?”

“Y/N, good morning. Yes, come on in.” Jessica greeted you with a smile as you stepped in. “Close the door and take a seat, please.”

You sat down across from her. She already had the look. The same look she always gets when she has to give bad news. You knew what was coming, but still you held onto the small glimmer of hope that the outcome would be in your favor.

“I asked you to come here to tell you that the board had a meeting yesterday. All the partners voted on who will be offered the open Senior partner position.”

You took a deep breath and nervously started to play with your rings under the table out of Jessica's sight.

“I want you to know that we were thinking in favor of the firm and the decision was purely made on professional aspects. That's why we're going to move forward with Harvey. I hope you understand.”

“Right, of course. I do understand. He's..” you swallowed the lump in your throat before continuing. “Harvey is a hard worker. He's the right choice.” You smiled at her, trying to hide the disappointment in your voice.

For the rest of the day you buried yourself into work to use it as a distraction. Because that's what usually keeps you from spiraling down. Today you hoped it would keep your mind away from Ben, too.

For the whole day you had managed to keep yourself from thinking about him. You were busy. You just didn’t have time to thirst over him from that one moment you saw him without a shirt.

Or that morning in the kitchen…almost naked. But now in your quiet office? It was hard not to think of him. You swallowed hard before forcing your focus back to the papers in front of you. You were berating yourself for even giving him space in your head. You knew the guy for three days and he had tried to kill you. Literally.

But something about him still pulled you towards him. And it was much more than just sexual attraction. You weren’t going to lie to yourself - he was hot. Goddamn, he was hot and you wanted him all over you. And if keeping your dignity wouldn’t have mattered to you, you probably would’ve jumped his bed yesterday morning. But something else captivated you about him and you couldn't put a finger on it.

It was well past 9pm when you heard a startling knock on your office door. You raised your head quickly and saw Harvey at the door.

“Hey, you're still here this late?” He asked curiously, leaning on the doorframe. Letting out a deep sigh you started to gather together all the papers scattered around on the table.

“Just finished. It's not that late, is it? Time just flies when you're having fun. You of all people should know it.” Tired smile on your face betrayed how you were feeling on the inside. You cleared your throat. “I saw Jessica this morning. I guess congratulations are in order.” You stood up from the desk and reached out your hand to him.

The air in the room was dense from the tension between you and Harvey. “You don't have to do that.” He gave you a little, sad smile.

“Do what?” You lowered your hand back down after seeing him not reach out to it.

“You don't have to pretend that you're happy for me, Y/N. I know you wanted that spot, too.”

For a moment the room fell silent, the only sound in the office was quiet shuffling as you packed up your bag to leave. “I'm not.” You zipped up your bag and threw it over your shoulder. “I'm not pretending, I mean. I am happy for you.” You quickly followed up before he'd get the wrong idea. “They did what they think is best for the company, and you deserve it, so of course I’m happy for you.” You smiled genuinely as you walked past Harvey into the hallway.

“Thanks.” He still sounded hesitant, but from you there were no hidden meanings behind your words. You really were happy for him. He is a good friend of yours and has been for a long time. That didn’t mean that you weren’t just a little jealous of him.

Cool night air hit you as soon as you stepped out of the building. You were tired, but you didn’t want to go home yet.

You started to walk, completely unsure of where you’d end up. Mindlessly you wandered around on the streets, witnessing the start of the night life in front of your eyes, despite it being Tuesday.

One underground bar caught your attention, and you decidedly walked towards it to check it out. You weren't planning to stay longer than for a drink. Working with a hangover was hell on earth, so one time was enough for you. You had definitely learned from your mistakes and were not excited to repeat them.

From the looks of the groups of people lingering outside of the bar, you expected it to be crowded to the roof, but you were pleasantly surprised that there were not that many people in there, and you even had the option to choose seating for yourself. It’s still early, you thought as you picked out a table in the far back corner.

You sat down right beside the wall, facing away from the rest of the room, leaving an empty seat between the table and wall.

You sat there for a minute, massaging your temples to get rid of the headache that slowly started to build. You hadn't slept well for the past few nights and it started to get to you.

After getting your drink, you sat back down and raised the glass to your lips, when you heard a voice behind you, the same one you were trying to run away from right now.

“Didn't think I'd find you in a hole like this.”

Fuck. Now I'm imagining things, too. You downed the drink in one go. You had planned on sipping on it slowly, savoring it. You winced as the whiskey burned your throat going down. There were heavy footsteps approaching and then he sat down across from you.

“What are you doing here?” You sighed tiredly.

Ben flagged down the bartender. “What does it look like, sweetheart? I'm getting a drink."

“Why here? Were you following me?” You asked him straight up.

Ben scoffed. “Hah, don't flatter yourself. I like this bar.”

“Really?” You didn't hide the disbelief from your voice. You had a feeling that he wasn't telling quite the truth. “What's the name of it?”

You saw from his expression that he was racking his brains to come up with some name. “Little…Sal’s?” A grin broke out on his face. “What?”

You grimaced at his stupid answer. “No, Ben, it's not...that. Why were you following me?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I don't even know. I tried to call, but you didn't answer.”

“Well, that should've been your first clue that I didn't want to talk.”

“And you didn't come home either.”

“Should’ve taken that as a second clue. Don't tell me you actually started to worry about me?” You winked at him teasingly.

“Well, it's not safe for a woman like you to be out alone at this hour.”

“A woman like me?”

“Yeah. In my experience, beautiful women like you tend to meet troublesome men, who then try to take advantage of them.” He smiled at you amusingly.

“Oh, is that so? And you thought, what, that you'd come and save a damsel in distress?” You got up to leave. “I can take care of myself.”

“Y/N, please. Stay for a drink.”

“Already had a drink.” You answered him curtly.

“Well, humor me. I can see there's something bothering you.” He ordered new drinks, one for you, too and it would've been impolite to not accept it. That's how you tried to convince yourself, even though you were pretty sure he would've just drank it himself, if you would've declined.

He pushed a glass towards you as you sat back down. “As an apology.” You laughed wryly at his gesture. “I would actually like a real apology as an apology.” You then squared your shoulders and looked directly at him.

You could see him tense up, as if saying three little words would somehow now break him. You didn't want to let him see how intimidating he actually was to you. You had already seen what he had been through, but at the same time you were well aware of the atrocities he was accused of and what he was actually capable of doing. In every sense possible, Ben was a dangerous man. And now you were calling him out to apologize to you, knowing very well that if anything sets him off the wrong way, he could blow up the bar and half of the block with it. Your heart was almost jumping out of your throat when the two of you kept staring at each other in silence.

You saw his jaw slack. “Fine.” He gritted through his teeth. “I'm sorry."

After practically pulling these words out of him, you decided you were not going to accept them this easily. “For what exactly?” Your head was turned to the side as you squinted at him quizzically.

“Oh, come on! Really? I said I was sorry!” He fell back in his chair.

“Yes, really! I'm not going to accept some half-assed apology after I had to drag it out from you!”

Ben leaned in on the chair and took one of your hands into his. He probably heard how hard your heart was beating at his move, given that little smirk on his lips which disappeared quickly.

You wanted to believe. For the sake of your own heart, you wanted to believe that Ben was actually a good man, because you started to get scared of where you were heading with your scaringly, stupidly fast developing feelings. You hadn't even had a proper conversation before other than the one you just had.

“I really am sorry for assaulting you. I... I was completely out of my head and…I think high, too” He seemed to be genuinely sorry. “...and unfortunately you got caught in the way.” He squeezed your hand assuringly.

You bit your cheek and you were torn. Your mind was screaming ‘run and don't look back’, but in your heart there was a gaping loneliness. And that loneliness spoke louder. ‘Just give in. Give in to what you want and tell it to him. You just might have a chance of happiness.’

“You know, I can not tell you to trust me. Not after what I did. I can't make you believe that I've changed. That has to be your own judgment call. And I know I haven't really given you much to look for the positive in me and for that, I am sorry, too.”

You didn't know what to answer him. It was like he was reading your mind. He let go of your hand and raised both glasses. You took one from him, silently accepting the apology. You both finished your drinks in silence, before Ben started to talk again.

“So...Who pissed in your Cheerios?” He leaned forward on the table.

“What do you mean? Other than wanting you to apologize to me, I'm fine.” You tried to brush it off.

“Well, don't get me wrong, doll, but you don't exactly look the type to go to bars on Tuesday evenings. Alone. Yet here you are.”

You downed the last sip and raised a finger to stop Ben from ordering more. You winced a bit, still not getting quite used to the burn. “None for me, thanks.”

“Well, suit yourself.” And he ordered himself a new one. You were debating in your head on how much you really wanted to let him in.

“Will you tell me? Or will we just consider this night to be over?” He asked again.

“It’s just some work stuff.” You said then quietly.

“What about it?” He seemed to really want to know. You didn't understand him at all anymore. On Saturday he didn't even apologize to you for his attack and then made some vile comments that totally had started to mess with your head, and now he is showing interest in your work.

“Why do you care? Why are you so nice to me all of sudden?” You snapped, maybe a little too harshly even, but it was hard for you to keep it in. Ben raised his hands up. “Relax, okay? It's not that I've started to ‘care’. I just..” he scratched his beard, trying to find the words.

“You just what, Ben? You are honestly giving me fucking whiplash with how you have acted after…after that night.” You finished with a shaky voice and crossed your arms on your chest, but you weren't quiet for long. “Not to mention all that crap in the kitchen. And now you are here, let me rephrase it- you followed me here,” you corrected yourself. “And you are asking now ‘who pissed in your Cheerios?’” you made your voice low, comically imitating his. “Well, I guess you did, Ben. So why are you really here?”

“I..” he took a deep breath in. “I'm just trying to be nicer, okay? You don't...” he rubbed his palm over his eyes and beard, as you continued staring at him frowningly. “You have no idea what these last two nights have done to me.” Ben said quietly, voice heavy with what was for him a new, unfamiliar feeling of genuine gratitude. “After you've left, I've been able to fall back asleep, without those nightmares and…it's clear to me that you have not.”

You weren't going to lie to him that it was nothing. Because it was not. You had never expected to be so affected by him. By his pain. And you really were tired. You stared at your hands on the table noticing how you’ve unknowingly started to pick on your nail polish, seeing it chipped on the edges. Maybe you chose wrong, but it was either him or you. “That's why I came in the first place. To help you, Ben. That's what I do.”

“But that's the thing. You help me, but that shouldn't come from your account. And don't get me wrong, I've been needing good sleep for quite some time, because after that..” he left a little pause. “...chamber, all that there's been for me, are just those nightmares, but you don't deserve to go through that for me.”

“How else would I be able to help you then? You didn’t deserve it either.”

“What do you know of what I deserve?” An insincere smile creeped on his lips. “And why should you even help me? You don't know what I've done. Or what I'm capable of doing.” Ben hinted, leaning towards you over the table. You weren't sure if it was one of his scare tactics, but you refused to back down.

"Because of what you just said to me! You told me you've changed. And I've seen what they did to you. I'm not believing for a second that it was all justified.” You reached over the table for his hand. You knew how naive you must’ve sounded. “Deep down you know yourself that you're not a bad person. If you were, if you didn't just care about anyone, you wouldn't have come looking for me. And I should help you, just because I can.” You weren't really sure whether you tried to convince him or yourself.

He pulled away his hand and quickly stood up. “Don't give me that crap!” Suddenly agitated again, he stomped out of the bar. With a heavy sigh you pulled out a few bills for the tab and followed him out.

You didn't see him outside the bar and had no idea if he went home or not, but that's where you were headed.

It was only just a little after midnight when you got home, but Ben was nowhere to be seen. At least I'll be able to sleep peacefully tonight. You thought spitefully and regretted it immediately.

Karma's a bitch indeed. You thought while laying sleepless in your bed, contemplating everything that had happened in the past week.

First of all - the night you first met Soldier Boy. That’s who he was then, before you got to know him. Before he became “Ben” to you. You’ve just seen some glimpses of his past, that’s all. But now he still has claimed a special spot in your mind, even after what he did.

You really didn’t know him at all before all this happened. Just what you’ve seen being published by Vought to the masses. And you always knew to take their words with a grain of salt.

Secondly, you weren’t sure whether to believe his own words either. He was so sure that he did not deserve your help from his night terrors. And you didn’t even know why, but for some reason that crushed you. Maybe you had just fallen for his charm, without a second thought, but his certainty of being so sure of that had to come from somewhere. Somewhere much deeper and you hoped to have a chance to find it out.

But what came as the biggest realization, was what you finally understood about yourself. You had been alone since childhood, only found your friends when you were in college, and the closest who had stayed even after graduating was Harvey. Only now you were mostly just coworkers to each other.

Being alone had made your skin thick, and you learnt to suppress your emotions well. That was the reason why you were so good at your job- you just couldn’t allow yourself to get too emotionally attached to the cases, because you have had the first hand view of good attorneys making grave mistakes, when they’ve gotten influenced by the cases or clients. And now, after years of shutting down your feelings, you know why helping Ben was so important for you. Even his pain made you feel something, and you were more than glad to find out that your heart hadn’t turned completely into stone yet.

You decided there was no point for you to just lay there in bed, so you thought you'd get up and just go to work early. At least that would make you feel useful. Sitting in the kitchen, drinking your coffee you felt eerily weird knowing that you were alone again. You hadn't heard Ben come home during the night and when you woke up, stopping at his door, you didn’t hear his snoring too.

For the whole day you had a gnawing feeling inside. The conversation you and Ben had felt far from finished when he left the bar last night. You weren't sure if he's going to be home in the evening too. Home. You let out a short chuckle staring at your computer screen. It felt funny to think of it as home. You had been there less than a week. This wasn't your home. Not really. But somehow you already got attached to the place, or rather your roommate and you weren't sure how to feel about it.

Few hours later you felt your eyes growing tired and everything started to get hazy. You had been staring at the computer screen far too long and when you were satisfied with what you got done today so after getting the final case files revised, you counted the work day ended.

Standing in front of the apartment building you were once again cursing its existence. Getting down the stairs was easy, but after work climbing up them was the worst imaginable thing for you. Sure, it was good for your health. Cardio and whatnot. You never have time to go to the gym anyway. You just couldn't wait to get used to them. Until then you had no shame in taking off your heels and taking the stairs in stockings. The feeling you got was indescribable, making you let out a sigh of relief.

You fumbled with your keys to open the door, only to discover that Ben had it chained up from the inside. “Oh, come on, Ben! Open the door!” You called in from the cracked door, before closing it. But he didn't came to the door and it felt like it was straight out of some comedy - you, locked out of the apartment, without shoes like some crazy person and of course, of course, in that moment the neighbors happened to come out of their apartment as you were pounding on the door for Ben to let you in. “Open up! Oh- sorry!” You smiled at them apologetically and stepped out of their way to let them past you.

“Alright, alright, stop with the banging! I'm coming.” You heard his muffled grumpy voice through the door.

“Finally…” you mumbled to yourself.

When Ben opened the door you just glared at him for a second. “Why do you, of all people, need to chain the door from the inside?” You pushed past him into the room.

A barely hearable “oh” was all that left your lips when your eyes stopped on the bottle of lotion and a tissue box on the living room table. Suddenly you felt very grateful for him locking up the door.

“So this is what you do when I'm at work? Must be..” you made your eyes exaggeratingly big, even though he didn't see it. “..exciting.”

“It was, yes.” He was already in the kitchen, pouring himself a drink. “Would have been even more so, if I would've been able to finish just now.” He came back to the room, a big smile on his lips and handed you a glass as well and waved at the couch. “Sit.”

You frowned, looking down at the couch too. “Do I want to?”

“Don't be such a prude.”

You rolled your eyes at him and took a seat. “I'm not a prude.” You mumbled quietly into the glass as you started to drink.

You tried to relax next to him, but in his presence you now felt an awkward silence fall between you and Ben.

Anxiety started to slowly rise in your chest thinking about the conversation ahead of you.

“So, Ben. Did you want to talk or were you just waiting for me to spend some quality time together?”

“Yeah, I was just waiting for you,” he answered. “Because you are such a joy to be around.”

Rolling your eyes, you swirled the amber gold liquid in your glass, and shifted in your seat to turn more towards Ben. “Shoot.”

“You know, you don't have to do this, right?”

Here we go again. About how he doesn't deserve my help. You sighed, waiting for him to continue.

“I'm serious. You can just leave. You should've left after the first night. Why are you putting yourself through this?”

“Because I want to help you."

Ben laughed at your words. “Now you want to help me? You didn't seem so keen on doing that when you first saw me.”

“Well, excuse me! I'd like to think my first reaction seeing you was totally justified, considering that you literally tried to kill me a few nights prior.”

“So what changed? Why are you torturing yourself with me?”

“You wouldn't understand. I–” you clamped up and finished your drink instead.

He snorted beside you. “Try me. I'm smarter than I look.” But without another word you got up from the couch and went to the kitchen to grab the whiskey bottle.

“It's just…” you looked at him quickly as you topped up your glass. His eyes were focused on you, indicating he was actually interested in hearing what you had to share.

“It's just that for most of my life I have been alone. Of course I only found that out later, but I was supposedly one of the first babies who got some new experimental version of the Compound V. They found me in some orphanage, where I was quite literally dumped at, so probably they thought ‘perfect, no one will miss her, let's fuck her up’.”

You emptied half of your glass. You even surprised yourself with how easily your story flowed out of you. This is the first time you ever talked about it. Something about him just made you feel safe enough to finally do it.

“I was kept in for a few years, for all kinds of tests and stuff, but when they thought that the V didn't work on me, I was once again thrown onto the streets. Hadn't one of the workers saved me, I probably wouldn't have seen double digits even.”

Thinking back to your childhood, you started to feel your eyes watering. Feeling silly about crying at that, you chuckled, before taking in another sip.

“Sounds like a happy ending, right? Well for me it was out of the frying pan, straight into the fire. For a little while everything was good. Then one day it started to seem like even just me waking up in the morning was an immediate day ruined for my mom. Being belittled and scolded by her became a daily occurrence for me. And if I dared to make a sound then I'd get the belt. “A failure” she used to call me. And that's just what I was. A failed fucking science experiment.”

You sniffled, sipping the whiskey and relishing in the burn it left in your throat, taking the attention from the pain that suddenly filled your heart. “But I pushed through it all. Until she died, when I was in senior year in high school.”

You tried to laugh through the tears. “I get a feeling you didn't ask for my whole life story, but that's what you're getting now.” You exhaled slowly and cleared your throat before continuing. “Well, even when she wasn't that nice or caring towards me when she was raising me, it was still just me and her. And apparently she cared a lot more than just a little, since after her death I found out she left me her apartment and an inheritance big enough to help me start college and gave me a little more time to find a job. And for that I have to be grateful, because I wouldn’t be here without her.”

“When did your powers show?” Ben finally asked. You were almost certain he had fallen asleep, but no, he was still listening. You dried your tears with the sleeve of your shirt.

“Jesus, woman, take a tissue.” Ben awkwardly offered you the tissue box from the table and your eyes went big seeing his gesture, but smiled at him, pulling a few out of the box.

“Uhh...thanks..It was in college. Sophomore year I think. Don't really remember how they started then. And I never told anyone, not even Harvey, who was my best friend then. Now it feels like we only speak to each other, because we work together.” You were feeling a little lighter to be able to get this off your mind. “Anyways, you wanted to know why I want to help you?”

You smiled at Ben, and saw his eyes softening just a little, but he was still clearly uncomfortable by your crying. “Yeah.” It was weird having him being so nice with you.

“Well, growing up like I did, I learned to close up all my emotions. With the job I have, I can't allow myself to make errors because I've gotten too attached to a client or a case. That's against not only my personal morals, but also the company's ethics, because in the end it would only end up with me screwing up my work. I can't afford that. How is it all connected to you? Well…” you looked directly at him. “This sounds so horrible, but even just feeling your pain makes me glad that everything I've gone through hasn't turned me into a senseless zombie yet. At least the pain is something.” You laughed humorlessly, feeling glad to see your little breakdown passing.

He remained quiet, visibly in thought and you couldn't even take a guess what was going on in his head.

For a while both of you drank in silence. Of course Ben did most of the job with emptying the bottle, you couldn't possibly outdrink him, but you didn't fall far behind and you knew already that you were fucked at tomorrow’s meeting. Figuratively. Sadly.

You had to give him some credit. He definitely wasn't wrong when he accused your moodiness with being too long without getting laid. The question was now if his offer to help you was still standing, but you didn't want to seem too desperate by just asking him to fuck you. Trying to get your mind off him, you decided to grab a new bottle from the fridge and ditched your glass, drinking it directly from the bottle. Ben seemed a little surprised for a second but accepted the bottle when you offered it to him.

“What is this shit?” He grimaced after taking a big sip from the bottle, and looked at the label, furrowing his brows. “Honey Whiskey.” You held back your laugh, seeing his face and added innocently, without revealing that this is what you usually drink. You just can't help it, you like your alcohol sweet. “They didn't have anything else.” He only rolled his eyes at you, and made a little face before drinking again.

“So what about you, Ben?” You asked as your eyes relaxed on Ben's lips, coming off the bottle with a drop of whiskey on them. His tongue quickly darted out to lick it up, but it seemed to happen in slow-motion and you desperately wished you could've been brave enough to do it yourself. To taste the sweetness on his lips. Instead you wet your own drying lips from the sight of him, before he looked at you. He caught you staring and his green eyes held you locked with a burning gaze for a minute. Coughing awkwardly, you quickly turned your eyes down from him.

“What about me?” He finally asked, scoffing at seeing you shy away.

“Why are you so convinced that you are so undeserving of my help?”

“Well, didn't you hear? I was a fucking menace to my team.” He chuckled darkly and handed the bottle over to you. “Apparently so much that they saw the need to get rid of me. Well, fuck them..” he laughed slowly. “They all got what they deserved.”

You didn't have to think twice about what he was implying, but you were wondering whether to raise the topic of why tried to kill you. You decided to not bring it up. He did say he was high then.

“And you think that this is the reason why you're not worth my help?"

“No, I-I just am not..” he grabbed the bottle from your hands. “I've done a lot of batshit crazy stuff in the past. Being honest now, not even half the crap that Vought has pinned on me, but that doesn't make it any better, does it?”

“Well, tell me one thing, Ben.” You scooted across the couch a little bit closer to him. “You told me yesterday you're a "changed man". If you had the chance, would you do it again? All that payback on Payback?”

“What are you now? My shrink?” He looked down on you, almost condescendingly, and sitting next to him made you feel so small. You couldn't push away the thoughts of asking him to have his way with you. You blamed it on the alcohol. It didn't help you relax at all, it only managed to make you horny.

“No, not that..” you said slowly, trying to get your mind out of the gutter, but with no effect. “Just trying to make up my mind on you, I guess.”

“What's the point of speculating on that then? If I say yes, would that change your current opinion on me?”

You looked up at him. “As you said yesterday, you're leaving it up to me to make my mind up on you. So, probably no, it wouldn't change it. I still think you didn't deserve what happened to you and I'd want to help you.”

You took the bottle from him to finish it off. “But you know, if you're fine with the nightmares, you can always lock your bedroom door. Message received loud and clear. Your decision, that's all.” You simply shrugged and got up from the couch.

“I'm off to bed.” You decided to end the night right there, before you did anything you'd probably come to regret in the morning. “Good night, Ben.”

“Night.” He mumbled under his breath and you heard him crush a pill with a glass, followed by a snort.

After your quick night routine, you got into your comfy shorts and top for sleep and tied your hair into a bun. Laying down in bed you rolled from side to side, unable to find a comfortable position. For over an hour you tried to fall asleep, getting more and more annoyed by the familiar ache for release keeping you from it. You had to do something for it and you hoped to God that Ben wouldn't hear you.

You reached for the drawer on your left and pulled out your good old reliable vibrator. You were damn glad that you decided to pack it up. It was nothing fancy, but in the last desperation, it got its job done well. It had been quite a while since you've used it and you were hoping it would not fail you now.

You quickly discarded your pants, threw them over the edge onto the floor. Your fingers slipped easily through the slick that had drenched your underwear. He didn't even do anything to me. How the fuck am I so wet already?

Your mind was racing when you started to slowly rub your clit. You quickly fell into a familiar rhythm with your fingers, despite it being a long time since you've last masturbated. Pleasuring yourself for a while, you felt the tension starting to build deep in your core, but the release seemed still miles away. It had been too fucking long for you and even now you knew you couldn't get yourself off with just your fingers. You needed more.

You grabbed the vibrator from the bed and slid it up against your clit before turning it on the slowest speed. Your hips bucked involuntarily when the low hum filled the room. The sweet tingling sensation against your bud quickly became almost overbearing.

You were just about to slide it in, when a knock on your door brought you out of your growing bliss.

“Sugar, if you're only relying on that plastic stick to get you off, then I'm honestly not surprised you're so pent up.” Your pussy quivered involuntarily when you heard his low rumble from the other side of the door.

You sat up in bed, trying to slow your breathing. “Leave me alone!” You couldn't bring yourself to tell him to take the toy’s place, that was still turned on in your hands, even though that's what you were imagining.

“Oh, no, sweetheart, I'm coming in.” You saw the door open.

“Ben! What the fuck? No!” You yelled at him as you tried to cover yourself in a hurry, but with no luck because before you got under the covers, Ben's large frame was already in your doorway.

To Be Continued...

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