#he has the skin of a killer bella
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HE WILL TAKE A BULLET FOR YOU
#npmd#nerdy prudes must die#npmd spoilers#nerdy prudes spoilers#max jagerman#max jagerman fanart#starkid#starkid fanart#nerdy prudes must die fanart#npmd fanart#fanart#digital art#my artwork#art#he has the skin of a killer bella
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𝔽𝕦𝕟 𝕓𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕃𝕒𝕜𝕖 | ℙ𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕠𝕟𝕚𝕔 𝕊𝕝𝕪𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕟 𝔾𝕒𝕟𝕘 𝕩 ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣
A/n: Pls bc writing for the Slytherin gang has itched a piece of my brain I didn't even know needed to be scratched. I'm addicted to it - headcanon and drabbles and all. (also omg another post - who am I)
No mentions of Gender :)
Unedited
Summary: It's a hot day on Saturday in April; nowhere you go can you run from the heat. The only solution is a fun day at the lake with your friends.
<><><>
Almost everybody was inside today, minus a few stragglers who decided to either practice Quidditch or hang out by the lake. The heat made everything sticky, hot, and uncomfortable. Unfortunately, those who even resided inside were at the mercy of the April heat.
"It's bloody hot; why did we choose to come out here instead of the comfort of our freezing common room?" Pansy asked, fanning herself off with the Christmas fan her mother gifted her. The shade of the large willow tree provides you small bits of comfort from the blaring April sun.
Mattheo and Theodore could be found near the edge of the lake, rough-housing with each other, sweat glistening off their skin. A few feet to the right, Draco skips rocks across the lake in hopes of getting the Kraken to respond. Blaise was resting higher up in between the branches of the tree, enjoying a book he stole from the common room before you lot left. Taking your eyes off the boys and to a distraught Pansy.
"Would you rather be stuck elbow-to-elbow with some sleazy first-years?" You grumbled, grimacing at the thought of being stuck with a bunch of sweaty children in a compacted room. "Didn't think so!" You barked, the distraught look on Pansy's face as she imagined herself stuck in a horrid situation such as that, filling you with joy.
"Oi, Ferrett boy!" Mattheo shouted, taking everyone's attention away from what they were doin'. "Kraken ain't gonna waste its precious time skippin' some rocks." As if the Kraken heard him, a tentacle shot out of the water, catching a rock that Draco tossed, only to fling it straight at Mattheo's head, hitting him square smack in the middle of the forehead.
There was a moment of silence before everyone, except Mattheo, busted out laughing. Mattheo was leaning over, grabbing his forehead, which only made everyone else laugh harder. "That's what you get, you damn git; leave the boy alone," You hollered, holding your stomach as you leaned onto Pansy laughing.
"Why you!" Mattheo growled, running fast towards you, the look of a killer present on his face. (this is a skin of a killer Bella) A mediocre scream left your mouth as you bolted up, rushing away from Mattheo. You'd be damned if he caught you - Unfortunately for you, he did.
"Let me down, you oaf," You yelled, hitting his back as he rushed towards the lake. You had no intention of getting wet today. You were met with a rush of cold water, a yelp admitting from your lips as your body hit the water. Unluckily for Mattheo, you latched onto him, bringing him into the chilling water with you. "If I'm going down, you're going down with me," you said, tackling him as he trashed out of the water.
Maybe you all would have to come to the Lake more often.
<><><>
@ghostofscarley @devilishwitchfantasies
#slytherin gang x reader#hp fandom#draco malfoy x reader#mattheo riddle x reader#blaise zabini x reader#theodore nott x reader#pansy parkinson x reader#pansy parkinson#draco malfoy#mattheo riddle#blaise zabini
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What the Lost boys think about vampire related media
Fluff, x reader but just barely
•While making conversation with your four Vampire lovers you were suddenly plagued with a question.
“How do you guys feel about vampire related media?”
-That question was an immediate head turner. The cave goes dead quite before Dwayne speaks up, “Well…vampires are in hiding so…”
-This sparks a conversation about how media representation of vampires may not be accurate, but that's a good thing. “If a book or movie comes out and it is shockingly accurate to what being a vampire is really like, the creator isn't going to last long.” David explained
-That's because there's a set of rules vampires have to follow and one of those rules is to never publicly reveal your double life identity
-”If something like that comes out, that means a vampire has broken that rule OR somebody knows vampires very closely and is creating media they know shouldn't exist.”
-Turns out if a vampire breaks that rule it's basically open season to kill and destroy their creations.
•You turn the conversation and begin to ask how they, specifically, feel about certain vampire representation
•Bram Stoker's Dracula
-Dwayne is the first to buy in his opinion.
-Dwayne feels that while it is a cult classic and well written, The characters are exceedingly dumb.
-”Johnathan spends a ridiculous amount of time talking about other characters ‘Breasts’ and trying to figure out why his host climbs walls ‘like a lizard's.”
-David is the next one to speak up
-David thinks it's not really worth the read
-”Unless you're trying to brag to people there's no point in reading it.”
-”Also why was Mina talking to that old sailor so much?”
-Paul laughs as he remembers “how fucking crazy he wrote Dracula to be”
-”I'm pretty sure the real Dracula thinks it's a heinous crime against him”
-Paul hasn't read it but have heard enough about it to know even the more obscure references
-Marko comments on the graceful writing style and the beautiful descriptions
-”I've only read it because Dwayne thought I would like it"
-Marko also loves how oblivious Jonathan and most of the other characters are
-All of them think the movie adaptation is hilarious and love the shitty special effects
•Interview with a vampire
-Paul chimes in immediately
-”God it's so homo erotic it hurts…in a good way.”
-Paul thinks its a nice horror novel mixed with a weird cozy atmosphere
-Dwayne thinks it's another well written classic and He actually begins to rave about all the themes involved within Anne Rice’s work
-”It's a beautiful Gothic thriller with a deep, sadly comedic energy.”
-He even offers to read it too you sometime
-Marko chimes in quickly about “Claudia’s rebellious behavior and persona”
-”imagine watching your family choose somebody else over you. It's so deeply upsetting but to an understandable level.”
-”I would have hated to turn so young. I look like a teenager and other people can respect that to a certain point. But being five years old with the mind of an adult, No one would respect you.”
-Marko relates to Claudia on an internal level and loves unraveling her character. When you ask why he quickly responds "Some people call me a cherub... You think I enjoy that?"
-David says he doesn't have much to say other than it was a decent read (That's his version of a compliments)
•Twilight
-All of them agree that it's laughably horrendous
-Almost immediately at the same time they say “This is the skin of a killer Bella”
-This leads to banshee like laughter
David speaks up immediately
-”Why do you humans want us to sparkle so bad?”
-”I personally hate the idea of being a walking disco ball, but to each their own.”
-Marko chimes in quickly
-”Would you like it if we sparkled?” He asked while leans on you affectionately
-Marko thinks the only reason to read it is to have a nice laugh
-”Why did Edward have such a violent reaction of Bella standing by a fan? That makes no sense…like I have mates and I enjoy the smell of you guys but…I'm not nearly clawing off my face at your smell”
-”Yeah yeah, I get he's trying not to overreact but running out of class to get away is crazy.”
-Paul even adds that even thought it's very dumb even he can appreciate the message it's trying to said.
-”something something, coming over adversary, something something, love wins, something something..”
-”Also that Jacob imprinting on Bella's infant daughter is super fucking creepy.”
-when you asked Dwayne about his feels he scoffed and said It's insulting at best and borderline sexual harassment at worst.
-He refused to go into depth
•You thank them for humoring you and they tell you that it's no problem
-David kisses the side of your head in an uncharacteristically soft way “We don't ever mind answering your vampire related question.” He tells you
-Marko turns to you “But seriously do you want us to sparkle?”
-”I think I have some roll on body glitter somewhere..” Paul says while getting up to look for it
Thanks for reading <3
#the lost boys x reader#david the lost boys#dwayne the lost boys#paul the lost boys#marko the lost boys#reader#the lost boys#vampire#fluff#books#lovers
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Would the sparkling vampires have been reacted to differently if written by a better author? Possibly
I feel like the main reason (imo) for why the sparkling is hated on so much though is that the reveal of it just feels so ridiculous. Like edward claiming he’s a monster or whatever and then proceeds to reveal his shimmery 6 pack is….unconvincing at best
og tags on this post for anyone who hasn't seen it
Excellent question anon. If you think about it there are a lot of silly things we associate with vampires.
Exhibit A: the classic widow's peak black hair and dramatic cape
look at it with fresh eyes and imagine seeing this for the first time, goofy. silly even. but this style of vampire was iconized by Bella Ligosi's performance as Dracula in Dracula 1931 which is of course very good and a staple in vampire cannon as well as just culture in general. It's good and it's old which lends it an air of authority. whereas Twilight is new(ish) and bad so it's artistic changes and creative choices are fighting an uphill battle already, add in the fact that Vampires Sparkling is a little ridiculous and you can see why so many people dismiss Twilight's vampires outright.
This post is so long continued under the cut
Now I am a Twilight fan and I think Twilight is very bad in a lot of ways, the two ideas are not mutually exclusive. Twilight however is a fascinating case study in cultural knowledge and mythos. Stephanie Meyer informally did very little research about Vampire Cannon, if you can call it that, before writing Twilight (link to an interview where she mentions it) so instead of being carefully constructed world-building based on hard rules and strict internal logic, the vampires are kind of loosely defined shadows based on the broadest understanding of what a vampire is. They're dead, they drink blood, they don't go out in sunlight. Some other popular vampire staples go addressed but dismissed as myth (garlic and having no reflection) but then things like The vampires in Twilight don't have fangs and have weird additional supper powers sometimes go just completely taken for granted and not really expanded upon in a satisfying way.
This style of world-building and magic system has a tendency to chafe against readers who have a more in-depth context for vampires and Meyre's more simplistic writing style makes the text come off as juvenile and perhaps a little dumb.
All this to say the sparkling vampires are not handled super well. It is a very large jump from what most readers would expect to see from a vampire story and it is handled inconsistently at best in the text itself. Meyer describes the vampires in the sun both as A beautiful glittering like that of a diamond, and a reflection of light so intense that it looks like the vampire is being burned alive in the sun.
these two conflicting descriptions coupled with the again simplistic and juvenile writing style makes it seem more like a mistake you should roll your eyes at rather than an intentional complexity to read into. I'd argue that Bella sees this inhumanity as beautiful and alluring while Edward sees it as a curse and a reminder of his monstrous nature and therefore disgusting. That being said I don't fault anyone for not wanting to read that deeply into the vampire glittering and instead see it as the author trying to have her cake and eat it too, something Meyers does frequently throughout even just the first Twilight novel.
Not even to mention the movies.
Exhibit B: this is the skin of a killer Bella.
This is prima facie hilarious and stupid. the juxtaposition of the soft glittering effect and the chiming sound in this scene coupled with the seemingly unwarranted disgust is so fucking funny. which is not the tone this scene is going for. it's supposed to be tense, it comes off as corny instead.
Then there is the hate mob that dominated Twilight discourse when it first came out. I will not get into how much of that hate was warranted, what I'm interested in is how much of a cultural impact it had. There was, at least in the beginning, a large group of people who hated Twilight and would hate anything that came from it simply because it came from Twilight. These people grabbed onto the sparkly vampire thing and made it what it is today, these people were never going to be won over by any artistic liberty no matter what.
So to answer your question, I think that if a writer with a more in-depth understanding of vampires and a clearer vision of the magic system wrote Twilight with a more mature tone and more time given to expanding on just the vampire's powers and limitations, and the movies followed these hypothetical books more closely AND if there was never an anti-Twilight coultral movement. then yeah maybe Vampires sparkling wouldn't be seen as the dumbest shit ever.
thank you for coming to my Twilight Ted talk.
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i was bored, and i just rewatched the first twilight movie on disney plus. i was itching to write something, and this is the abomination that came forth
T.N. | Twilight
edward!theodore nott x bella!reader
warnings; bestie, its twilight..... its so fucking unserious......
word count: 1.2k
“You need to see what I look like in the sunlight.”
You don’t even have time to comprehend his words, spoken in that truly maddening accent, before Theo’s frigid hand wraps around your arm, pulling you harshly towards him. In a blur, you find your thighs wrapped around his waist, and your fingers painfully dig into his shoulders. Your nails seem to rake across the abnormally hard skin, but Theo doesn’t seem to notice, a large stride making the wind billow your hair back.
In a knee-jerk response, your legs loop around him, and your hands scramble to fist his jacket, face pressed into his shoulder as he speeds up, weightlessly, up the side of the mountain. You even feel the wind of trees passing way too close for comfort to you, along with every measured, small breath he takes.
And then, just as fast as it started, it stops, your feet meeting the ground with undeniable force. You stumble, hands flying out in a windmill to balance you, and a palm cushions your side before you manage to crack against a massive boulder covered in moss. You shake your head slightly, trying to clear the dizziness away, and blink as you watch Theo step away.
His wide back is to you, and you watch a stray beam of sunlight filter through the trees, unforgiving in its relentless piercing of the canopy.
Theo swiftly pulls off his jumper, letting the fashionable cream tie around his waist as his hands start to unbutton the saxe blue shirt hugging his frame. “This is why we don’t show ourselves in sunlight. People would know we’re different.”
Your breathing has managed to return to normal, and you find your eyes glued to his frame while you ever so slightly push off the boulder, palm soaking quickly in the wet moss. It’s cold and icky against your skin, but you don’t pay it much mind as Theo starts to slowly turn around, step by step.
It’s gorgeous. His skin, dazzling more than a diamond. It looks like every pore, every line and angle and plain of his skin is bejewelled, sparkling away like a hundred silver flames. It glitters around his face, that white gold sheen making his already pale skin seem to glisten like a snowy flame, like a white star. The encrusting shimmer spreads down his chest, smooth, perfect skin untainted to your eyes, no bruise or scar visible, even in the sunlight.
Theo seems to take a deep breath, and then swallows thickly, his gaze falling to the ground before coming back up to you, “This is what I am.”
You’re honestly at loss for words. You’ve never seen anything like it before, not in any literature, movie or painting. It’s a new kind of beauty, yet undeniably the type that catches your attention and keeps it, your pupils trained on every glimmering sparkle.
He seems to be waiting for a reaction though, if his dark, heavy gaze is anything to go by, and you rouse yourself, first thought tumbling from your lips without much thought.
“It’s like diamonds.”
His lips press into a line, and he swallows again, eyes scanning across your face like he’s trying to read you; you know he can’t crack open the book of your mind, that he can’t run his wintry fingers along the pages of your thoughts and ideas.
“You’re beautiful.” Your voice is no more than a breathy whisper, but it’s true. He’s gorgeous, like a statue carved from melted stardust, every chip of the material perfect and ideal.
“Beautiful?” Theo scoffs a laugh, his head falling back as he chuckles, humourlessly. His dead, morose eyes seem to deny your words like nothing else. “This is the skin of a killer, Y/N.”
He turns away sharply, the golden-crusted stretches of skin hidden from your eyes once more as he rather violently moves away, sharp and jaggy with his movements, even within the inherited elegance.
You scramble to follow him, hopping over the low rocky ledge as you delve deeper into the forest, following his saxe shirt and broad shoulders. He obviously knows you’re following, but his eyes drag over his shoulder to lock with yours, self-loathing hammered into the lines of his golden irises.
“I’m a killer.” He announces, tone cold and desolate, not allowing any argument.
And yet you still try. “I don’t believe that.”
Despite his heavy gaze, and the obvious importance of the situation, your feet scramble and trip over the thick roots of a tree you follow him past, hands scrabbling to uphold you against the bark.
“It’s because you believe the lie.” He scoffs, an Italian swear word dripping like poison gold off his tongue. “It’s camouflage.”
There’s a dark pause, only filled with the crinkle of green leaves and your soft breath.
“I’m the world’s most dangerous predator. Everything about me invites you in.” Theo’s voice drops low, horrified, like he’s disgusted with who he is and the fact that despite everything, you’re standing in front of him. “My voice. My face. Even my smell. As if I would need any of that.”
If you weren’t hanging off his every word, eyes stitched to his face, you may have mistaken the next sound as a soft laugh when he turns away. You blink, and suddenly, he’s gone.
There’s the sound of a thump behind you, and you whirl around, stumbling as your palm steadies you against a soggy tree. Theo’s crouched on a rocky outcrop, a few metres higher, and his shoulders strain with tension as he glares at you, seething.
“As if you could outrun me!”
You huff a breath, and just barely manage to catch the blur of him as he jumps off the outcrop, speeding off in a whirl.
You twist, only just keeping up with him, and blink to find his face just a bit further from yours, his eyes wide and furious as he almost disbelievingly says, “As if you could fight me off.”
His large palm hooks around the root of the tree, and he rips it out, twisting in the same fluid movement to send it crashing into the branches of another. The wet wood creaks and groans, leaves shuddering to the ground as the root shatters.
Your gaze snaps back up to his, your heart starting to hammer like crazy once more when his eyes, so cruelly beautiful, lock with yours once more.
“I’m designed to kill.” He whispers, his accent heavier, hotter, like the prevalent heat of summer. His lids droop, and you swallow, shaking your head softly.
“I don’t care.” Your voice is just a smidge louder than his, and he looks away, disappointment clear in his features.
“I’ve killed people before.” He admits, as if that’s supposed to scare you off.
“It doesn’t matter.” You offer, taking him in as a whole as he stands there, clearly agitated yet so put together.
“I wanted to kill you.” The confession is breathed into the air, the meaning of it falling thick on you, like a smothering blanket of shock. You blink, once, twice, and then grin.
“Do it, no balls.” Your voice challenges, ringing sharp and clear through the woods.
He clearly needs no more encouragement.
idk wtf this is
#marcie shitposts ✭˖*°࿐#marcie writes ✭˖*°࿐#theodore nott#theo nott#theodore nott x reader#theo nott x reader#wtaf#idk what this is#i need to go to sleep icl#so cute#my brain is melting out my ears
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I read and watched Twilight for the first time recently and I have some thoughts:
- Why are the Cullens in high school ?? They're like over 100 years old and they're going to school with minors ?? Just so they can stay in town for a few extra years ??
- Did the ppl making the movie notice that the owl statue made Edward look like he has fairy wings ? Was it on purpose ?
- Bella's boring and Edward's creepy. There. I said it.
- The book would be so much better if Bella wasn't there and it was just about the Cullens hanging out and playing baseball
- Alice x Jasper ? Yeah I don't see it ( she should be with me 😌 )
- So Jessica, Mike and Co. just like invited Bella into their friendship group and they were really nice to her and she just blew them off for a MAN ?! ( Girl what ??) I would have loved to make friends that fast but she doesn't even care
- Edward sparkling in the sun and being all like "this is the skin of a killer, Bella" 💀
- The Cullens were so proud of the dinner they cooked for Bella and she didn't even want it 😭 Invite me over ! I'll eat it !
- Where did Laurent go ? I swear he was like the leader of the weird evil vampires and he just disappeared? Did I miss something ?
- Edward just like 🧍♂️ watching Bella sleep
- Do the Cullens have to keep updating their drivers licenses, birth certificates etc over and over again ?
- Why do the Cullens keep living the same lives just to fit in ? Why can't y'all just live in a castle or something like normal vampires?
- Why are people arguing over Edward and Jacob when Carlisle is right there?
Overall, the book and film weren't my kind of thing but they were fairly entertaining. Yes there are some parts of twilight I didn't like but I will be reading and watching the sequels at some point :)
#twilight#twilight memes#twilight movies#twilight books#bella swan#edward cullen#carlisle cullen#alice cullen#rosalie hale#jasper hale#emmett cullen#esme cullen#charlie swan#jacob black#kristen stewart#robert pattinson#twilight saga#stephenie meyer
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WAITTTTTTT first of all love you art, second *please* tell me you meant to make a Princess and The Frog reference because I am losing my mind!!! Is it mucus???? Did I miss this I *know* I have azuls ceremonial robes vignette but I have to know because I burst out laughing when I saw the asterisk!!!
OH CBSISBKS really it was just me making a lame twilight reference since "this is the skin of a killer bella" makes me laugh so much
But eels really do have a layer of mucus on their skin! I just think calling it slime is silly and could see Floyd being like "haha yeah my slime" even though I doubt he has anything like that as a human lmao
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The Blue Hour
a Max Phillips &
Bloodsucking Bastards FanFic
Chapter 3:
This is the Skin of a Killer, Bella
This week on 'The Blue Hour' - a Max Phillip's vampire always pays their debts. We’re finally going to learn the true definition of a Peña Colada (get your notebooks ready, this will be on the final), and we’ll be playing a tricky game of “Are You Smarter Than a Twilight Vampire?”
Reader beware, you're in for graphic fare!
Pairing: Max Phillips of Bloodsucking Bastards x afab!fem!reader
Rating: Explicit / NSFW 18+ (No Minors)
Author’s Note: I wrote this piece during the month of April 2024 - Adenomyosis Awareness Month, and the idea came to me during March 2024 (Endometriosis Awareness Month). This will not have any type of pregnancy kink, but will touch on infertility of OC due to the aforementioned; canon for this story is also that Vampires are infertile - there will be no Renesmé. OC is intended to be around the same age as Max, reader’s choice up or down, but no age gap. Because older afab/fem lovers are sexy - we drink and we know things.
Warnings: This will continue to be a blanket coverage of this point forward.
A bit of rough sex/smut (fingering, fem penetration - P in V, oral [m + f receiving]), food play, 18+ only content, able bodied fem afab reader, alcohol consumption, non-gendered pet names, fem can be carried and has hair - though length is not mentioned, consensual "bondage", some use of y+n - but not explicitly, though consensuality is implied and intended through actions and reactions, no protection used for Vampire reasons TBD (be wise and always use protection, this is fiction). Did attempt to stay away from gendered pronouns and nicknames, although did use the word woman, 3 times throughout the entire piece (not fully published yet) referring to OC. Discussion of history of endo / adeno, and future chapter will mention previous relationship / SA; there will also be Vampire hunting, murdering, and blood….sucking bastards.
Wordcount: 8k + a few, but who's counting?
Return to the Masterlist!
Shaking my head, I tried to pretend like I didn’t just wake up with a pillow tightly squeezed between my legs, and let out a huge, exasperated sigh, screaming a little bit into the pillow my head laid upon.
“Siri, play My Song 5 by Haim.”
“I’m sorry, I’m having trouble connecting to the internet.”
“Gaaaah!” I groaned in anguish. “Fine. I’ll do it the hard way.”
Opening up Spotify on my phone, I flipped to my mega, 78 hour and 53 minutes long playlist and searched, clicking on the song I wanted.
youtube
The rough beat perfectly matched my grumpy mood at waking up so unreasonably horny. Dammit, I thought to myself, I cannot be this starved for the Vitamin D.
I got out of bed and noticed Mr. Rochester, forlornly abandoned on the floor. Oooh, better wash him off.
As I gave Mr. Rochester a thorough scrub, laying him on a clean hand towel on the side of the bathroom sink, I felt my stomach grumble. Whew - I guess Max really did give me a workout last night! I blushed, grinning to myself as I thought of his charming grin with its dimple, the way he looked up at me, as I pulled on his tie - the feeling of straddling him as I sat on his lap, facing him.
Quickly giving my face a wash and brushing my teeth, I tried to put those thoughts out of my head. Once I was done in the bathroom, I put on a robe and went straight into the kitchen - opting to start my day with Yerba Mate instead of coffee.
Oh, dear. You must have it bad, if coffee is reminding you too much of his eyes. I shook my head, trying to think of what I might do with my day off instead. Books to catch up on? Poetry to write? Call my sister? No. She can always tell when something’s up with me. Call my mom? Maybe - she loves telling me about the latest hometown gossip, and I can just listen while I do something productive, like - OH! That hat I need to finish knitting! Perfect.
After making some toast with peanut butter and strawberry jam, and enjoying a bowl of fresh strawberries and blueberries, I was just about to call my mom when a text popped up from Max. It was a gif of Ryan Reynolds making a sassy come hither face, with the words, “you up?” flashing underneath.
I giggled to myself and texted him back, “Yes, Ryan Reynolds. I am.”
Immediately the text dots popped up, and Max’s response came through, “Mind if I stop by? I believe I have something that belongs to you.”
Looking down at my robe and silk set, I had to think for a moment, “Uh, I’m not dressed yet, if you want to give me 10-15 minutes?”
Almost instantaneously, Max’s reply came through, “Don’t get dressed on account of me.” Followed by a prompt knock on the door that caused me to spill tea over a small portion of the dining table.
“Oh, no.”
I jumped up and reached over the kitchen bar for paper towels, calling out, “I’ll be right there!”
Unwrapping about 20 towels from the roll, which was significantly more than needed, I cleaned up the spill as quickly as possible, then hurriedly tossed the paper towels in the trash. Finally, I headed straight to the door while adjusting my hair and checking my teeth on my phone camera. Alright, that’s as good as it gets! I opened the door, and Max was leaning against the door frame - his grin pulled up to one side, dimple on full display, better than I remembered.
Mr. Vilallonga’s door was open, but he had his hand over his eyes as he picked up yet another package, already apologizing, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry….”
“I told him that he has to do that from now on.” Max smiled a big toothy grin, his eyes crinkling, as he stepped away from the door frame and entered the apartment.
He closed the door behind him as he gave me a kiss on the forehead.
Laughing, shocked at Max’s gall and a little impressed that he went to such lengths to ensure that I wouldn’t be caught in the same compromising position again - my hand instinctively went to my forehead, as I shook my head and ran my fingers through my hair.
“It’s okay. He likes it.” Max assured me, giving me another kiss on the cheek and the neck.
As he straightened up, I realized that he was holding a bouquet of white orchids and white magnolias. They smelled absolutely wonderful, fragrant and sweet like a bakery in the morning - a bit of vanilla, with a hint of citrus and honey, and the musky scent of lemon-verbena.
“Is this the thing that belongs to me?” I asked, my tone of voice betraying me, revealing my surprise and delight immediately.
“Well, it’s - part - of the thing that I believe belongs to you. It’s sort of an apology.” Max scrunched up his nose, looking a little self-conscious. That’s funny, I thought, never thought I’d see him with that look on his face.
I took the flowers into the kitchen, giving them a happy inhale, as Max followed closely behind. Opening a cabinet next to the sink, I let my eyes roam until I spotted what I was looking for on one of the top shelves. Hmm… a bit high. Max reached above me and grabbed the deep red, clear glass vase.
“Thank you!”
“Anytime.”
He smiled down at me, and then leaned on the counter as I trimmed the ends of the flowers before placing them in the vase. As I arranged the last flower, he pulled out a small box he’d had tucked under his arm.
“I believe I owe you a debt.”
“What??” looking at him, confused, I hesitantly took the small, thin blue box. He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, waiting for me to open it.
Carefully, cautiously, I gave a light tug on the ribbon, which easily gave way and then set it on the counter. I took off the lid and folded back the tissue paper, biting my lip as I laid eyes on the loveliest vintage silk, teal and black lace silk bra. My mouth slightly agape, I set down the box, holding up the bra and admiring it.
“There’s more,” Max nodded towards the box on the counter, and I eagerly peered into the box.
“Oh, really?” I asked, giving him a cheeky little laugh.
Inside the box was a matching garter of the same vintage teal silk and black lace, and a pair of black thigh highs with the seam going up the back.
“They should fit, if you want to try them on,” Max gazed at me expectantly.
“So vampires have the ability to actually size people up by looking at them? That’s a thing?” I asked him dubiously.
“Well –” he began, a bit apprehensively, “I did grab your moderately destroyed lingerie this morning, when you left the room, so that I could replace it with the correct size. I felt pretty bad about wrecking it. Even though I loved it in the moment - sorry?”
He shrugged his shoulders, and to be honest, his apology was very half-hearted, and I had the distinct feeling that it wasn’t going to be the last time he ripped an item of clothing off my body. At least judging by the playful glint in his eye.
“Tentatively forgiven, Max. Tentatively.”
Squinting at him, I continued, “I reserve the right to rescind that absolution should the crime be repeated. In which case, recurrent offenses may be subject to increased punishments and fines. As per prevailing statutes regarding Lingerie Law.”
“Oh, of course. Lingerie Law - that’s closely related to Bird Law, right?”
“Obviously. The fact that you even have to ask.” I scoffed at him.
He laughed, and then took both of my hands in his, locking his eyes with mine, “Please try on the lingerie. Please.”
“Of course.” I felt my cheeks flush, and Max leaned in, kissing me on the lips - gentle, sweet, but firm in their resolve to get me good and kissed.
Gathering up the box of lingerie, tissue paper, ribbon, I took it with me into my bedroom and closed the door behind me. Inspecting the contents of the box, I was struck not only by how tasteful the lingerie was, but how it was really exactly my style. It was weird to feel… so seen by something so - simple? Naughty? Sexy?
Putting it on, it fit perfectly, and it felt very nice as it hugged all of my curves in all of the right spots. I looked in the mirror and felt a little bit like Bettie Page, it was empowering.
Taking the ribbon from the box, I tied it in my hair like a headband. It felt like I was missing something, so I took a look in my closet, a smirk crossing my face as my eyes strayed toward the perfect accessories.
Walking out of my bedroom in some patent leather Mary Jane style shoes and a lovely long red floral robe draped over my shoulders, letting the lingerie peek-a-boo through, Max looked up - immediately dropping his crossed arms, standing up straighter, and his jaw dropping slightly.
“What, this old thing?” I teased.
“Yeah. Yes. That old thing.” He walked over to me, taking my hand and bringing it up above my head, giving me a twirl, “Max likey. Max likey a lot.”
“Oh! So I’ve earned third person accolades?”
“Uh-huh.” Max kept nodding and spun me into his arms. As his eyes washed over me, he dazedly continued, “I have something else I want to share with you.”
“Something else?” I asked, incredulously. What more could he have for me? This felt like quite enough. Although, I was curious. Dammit. Damn my curiosity.
He stepped back, and reached into the inside pocket of his jacket, sitting on one of the dining table chairs. I had no idea what to expect, but I certainly was not prepared for what he presented to me.
“What do you think of this?” He smirked, “They were just going to throw these out at work!”
It was an old school label maker. The really old kind that had a dial for the letters, and for each letter you had to squeeze the handle very tightly in order to get it to make an impression on the label tape. They were a pain to use, but to be fair, those types of label makers always made the wickedest labels.
“Okay, that’s actually pretty cool, Max.” I admitted, “But what made you think of me when they were getting rid of it?”
“Well, I was thinking it would be helpful - we could use it to label our relationship.”
“Label the relationship? How do you mean?” intrigued, I wanted to hear where he was going with this.
“As in–” he started punching letters into the label maker, “EXACTLY–” punch, punch, punch, “what–” punch, punch, punch – punch, punch, “I–” punch, punch, “said.” punch.
He finished, very satisfied with himself, and held up the finished product - a label that said, “Max’s Favorite”, with a huge smile on his face. Max immediately pulled off the protective paper on the back, and stuck the label on my forehead.
Admiring his work aloud, “Perfect.”
I felt a bit less sexy with a label on my forehead.
Max was all in on the label maker, he kept punching in more letters, and the next thing he came up with was, “Best Kisser,” putting it right on my chin. Followed by, “Sexiest Décolletage,” just below my clavicles, “Stinkiest In a Good Way,” on my neck, “Most Likely to Be Bitten by a Vampire,” on my wrists.
And then he got really excited and asked me, “Where’s Mr. Rochester?”
Confused, I gave him the downlow, the lowdown, the 411, the fax - no printer, the webmd, the no cap, “Mr. Rochester has retired to the bath - he’s taking a day off.”
“Good!” Max sassily and decidedly replied.
When he came back from the bathroom, he showed me Mr. Rochester, who now had his own label: “UNEMPLOYED”.
“Unemployed? Did you just fire my vibrator?!” I exclaimed, shocked that he would take the initiative to terminate my household staff’s employment. Frowning, “I think that’s outside of your purview.”
Max shrugged, setting Mr. Rochester on the dining table behind me and then picked me up, gliding easily from my little dining nook into the kitchen area, where he delicately set me on top of the L-shaped peninsula of the kitchen counter. I crossed one leg over the other, as I leaned forward with my palms on the edge of the counter.
“Well, Mr. Phillips - it seems like you’ve got a prerogative for this evening.”
He put his hands on either side of me, looking down at my legs, my chest, while talking, “I do, actually. But I - I wanted to ask you something.” He looked up into my eyes, waiting for me to give him the go ahead.
“That’s fine. Ask away.”
“How are you feeling today?”
I laughed, “I’m good. I’m very good, Max.”
“No. No, I mean–” he hesitated again, biting his lip, “was I too rough with you last night? Are you sore or in pain?”
“Oh.” I sighed. “Okay.”
“I really - I would hate myself if I hurt you.”
“Listen–” I took ahold of his hands and looked him straight in the eyes, “After the second surgery, I went on a bunch of dates and felt obligated to tell the men I dated that I was still in healing mode, and that kids might be an issue - if they were looking for something serious.”
Taking my right hand, I brushed my fingers through a little curl forming along his forehead.
“Which sucked, of course, because who wants to hear about that right away? Although I felt like it wasn’t fair to let someone get emotionally involved with me if my endo was going to be a problem for them. And I wanted someone who could be gentle as I was healing. Unfortunately, it led to a lot of them being afraid to have sex with me. A real bunch of cowards they were.”
Max’s eyes took on a watery depth, not quite on the brink of crying, but of deep warmth and caring.
“At this point, I’m many months post-op, and while my hormones are still driving me a bit batty,” he flinched as I said that, “I’m in much, much better shape - I evicted the organ that was causing the most pain, and I’m way hornier now. It might seem like ‘in theory’ I don’t have as much space for you, but vaginas are magical organs that get really stretchy the more turned on they get. I mean - it’s built for pushing out a new human, so… it’s good to go. Do not back down on my account. You know what Hal Sparks said, right?”
He squinted at me, and I went on, “Pussy bleeds every month and it never dies - it’s like The Predator.”
Max burst out laughing, “Okay! Okay! I trust that you’ll let me know, I won’t back down.”
“Good. Do not go gentle into that good night.”
“I will not. I will rage until the dying of the light,” he said passionately, still chuckling.
“Now, I will admit that while I can take a pounding –” Max tilted his head, curious where I was going with this statement, “I’m actually extremely sensitive to a lot of other things, because of the whole residual nerve sensitivity - my body tends to be on high alert when it comes to most of my senses, touch - very much so, taste, smell, sometimes I can be sensitive to sound / noises, super bright lights. Besides sound and light, the other senses can actually be very sensual with the right person.”
“Oh, reaeeaaallly?” Max asked, an idea seemingly sparked within him.
“Yeah. Totally.”
He reached over and pulled the vase of flowers he brought closer to the two of us, “Do you know why I chose white orchids and magnolias?”
“They’re beautiful, and I love them!?” He turned and looked at me. “But other than that, no.”
“All flowers have meanings. White orchids can be used to convey hope - new beginnings,” he raised his eyebrow as he looked at me.
“Magnolias represent beauty, and in Victorian times it was the flower of choice for lovers sending correspondence. But the white magnolia in particular, well - it represents the Lunar Goddess.” He brushed his fingers across my cheek, then drew them down the line of my jaw, stopping at my chin, where he held my face so that I was looking up at him - his thumb gently stroking my bottom lip.
“My beautiful, midnight, Lunar Goddess.”
I smiled up at him, and kissed his thumb.
His eyes grew wide, “I want to try something.”
“Uh, okay?”
“I want to test your sensitivity.”
“Uhhhhh….”
“We can try it, and if you hate it as soon as I start, we’ll stop, but I have a feeling - you’re going to enjoy it.”
I shrugged, “Okay, Max. I guess - I trust you.”
He gave me a look like his heart was going to burst when he heard that, pausing only for a moment, and then getting back to the business at hand.
“Let’s remove your outer layer, shall we?” He gestured to my floral robe, and I used both hands to release it from my shoulders.
Max sat and stared for a moment, pleased with how well the lingerie fit and looking like he couldn’t decide whether to keep it on me or take it off. Slowly, he took his gaze off me, and reached for a stem of orchids from the vase.
I cocked my head to the side, unsure how he was going to proceed.
He took the orchids, and reaching out, let them lightly drag down the crook of my neck and across my clavicle.
My skin pricked up, I could feel the sensation rushing to my nipples as he drew the petals down across my new silk bra.
Quivering, my hands gripped the counter. Max followed the line of my bra strap, up around my back and he walked behind me. Feeling the bra unclasp, one of his hands lightly loosened the straps so that the bra fell forward, while the other continued to trail the orchid up and down my spine. My breathing quickened, and I felt my legs start to shake a bit as my vagina clenched, breasts moving up and down as I tried to pace my breathing - and closed my eyes.
“Look at me.”
I opened my eyes, and Max was in front of me again, watching me with his mouth slightly open, his tongue hungrily, precipitously waiting between two slightly open lips.
Drawing the flowers across my untethered breasts, over my peaked nipples, my legs clamped together like a vice. Gingerly moving the orchids lower, underneath my breasts, around my rib cage, moving straight down my stomach, towards the top of the garter.
The moment he got to the top of the garter, I let out a small squeak of a moan, and he immediately put the flower back in the vase, tapping my knee with one hand, and grabbing the back of my neck with the other as he pulled me in for an extremely passionate, breathtaking kiss.
Like an upside down Heinz 57 Ketchup bottle tapped in just the right spot, my legs opened for him, and he used his available hand to start massaging my pussy and clitoris through the fabric. Meanwhile, he continued to open me up with his kisses, deep and rolling into me like waves from the ocean. Right as we came up for air, he immediately began kissing down my neck and focusing his fingers on my clitoris, moving in steady, focused circles, until I gasped.
Max pulled back, his breathing a bit deeper. He walked over to the sink and washed his hands, and immediately I knew what he was planning on doing. The effort, though - the consideration, knowing what I’d been through, and not taking any risks with my body. Fuck. That’s hot. Coming back over to me, he gave me another intense kiss, and then leaned me back down on the countertop, sliding my lingerie down my waist, and off completely. As I laid there on the counter, he put his left hand on my lower abdomen, and with his right middle finger, he started massaging against my cunt and up to my clitoris, his left hand slowly moving up my abdomen towards the middle of my chest, right between my breasts.
I arched my back, feeling the power of his hands on me, in me, but not trying to hold me down. Just trying to please me. Slowly, Max leaned his face over to where his right hand worked me, his thumb switching places with his middle finger, stimulating my clit with steady, firm circles, and licked into my vagina. I clenched and twitched, and his left hand moved to my breast, massaging, squeezing, then focusing on the nipple, giving it small pinches. Moaning in pleasure, I looked down my body at Max, who was staring right back at me - eyes crinkling. I couldn’t see his mouth, but his eyes were definitely smiling.
He moved up a bit, switching places with his hand so that his mouth was sucking on my clit, and his middle finger was pumping and curling inside me. Trembling, I grabbed onto his left hand, still on my breast, and through haphazard breaths, “I’m coming - I’m coming.”
With an involuntary jerk, I almost kicked him, but he held my leg in place, easily. Stars exploded as my vagina clamped and convulsed around his finger, which continued moving into me as it gradually altered to a slower pace. As the ebb and flow of my orgasm finally ceased, Max pulled his finger out and stuck it in his mouth all the way up to his knuckle - licking the entire thing clean, saying, “Mmmmm,” the entire time, while I laughed and covered my face.
Max pushed the vase of flowers further back from where I was on the counter, to give me a little space as I sat up, but almost knocked it over. “Oh, shit! What’s this?”
“Whoops. I think I accidentally left that out - from the last time I used it.” I grimaced in a classic “Whoops! My bad!” expression.
Smirking as he chuckled, Max cupped my face in one hand, and used the other hand to pick up the jar that nearly caused the fall of the house of orchids, examining the label closely.
“Organic, virgin, unrefined, cold-pressed, natural coconut oil, preservative free and fragrance free.” He scrunched his nose up at the jar, then said, “That feels like a lot to ask of your coconut oil.”
“Hey! Only the best for me!”
“Okay, fair enough. What do you use this for?”
“Well,” I started, “it’s great for skin, for lip care, for hair, and - are you allergic to coconut?”
Max shook his head. “No. I like coconut a lot, actually.”
“Okay, that’s good.” I gave him a sly smile. “Why don’t you hand me the jar, and a spoon out of the second drawer there,” I gestured to a middle drawer across from the peninsula I was sitting on.
“Hmm. Okay.”
Max inquisitively handed me the jar, turned to the designated spoon drawer and retrieved the required item. Which, he then handed to me, as I sat there naked as a jaybird, save for the black thigh highs and heels.
I opened the jar and scooped out a very small amount of coconut oil with the spoon, closing the jar again.
“Hey Siri, play Playa Tropical by Passion Coco.” I called out.
Max raised an eyebrow, “Oh, this requires mood music?”
youtube
As the retro-surfer beat and reverb-drenched, twangy guitar started playing, I gave Max a cheeky grin, “Would you rather be asking questions or receiving right now?”
Bringing his hand up to his mouth, he made the international symbol of locking his trap and throwing away the key, an eager and excited expression etched on his face.
With the spoon in one hand, I grabbed Max’s tie with the other. Why is he always, always wearing a three-piece suit every time I see him? It’s just not fair. Tugging him towards me just a little bit at a time as I wrapped his tie around my hand, I brought Max close, but not too close. Dropping the tie, I used that same hand to unbutton the top button of his pants and unzip the zipper. Untucking his shirt, I was able to reach his navy blue boxer briefs, slowly pushing them down in the front and I was not disappointed. I could see the top of his shaft was already hard and licked my lips, as I reached my hand inside the briefs to pull out his dick. Glancing up at Max, his eyes were trained on my hand on his cock, his jaw clenching and unclenching.
Letting his penis free of the confines of his pants, I released it and Max let out the breath he’d been holding. Using the spoon to apply the coconut oil to my free hand, I rubbed the oil between my hands to warm it up. Then taking my fragrant, slick hands, I reached down, making a loose circle with each, index finger to thumb. I tenderly and deliberately placed one hand in front of the other, over and over and over again, in the same direction. Max happily moaned, reaching up and grabbing my breast, until I reversed directions and he jerked slightly. His breathing became a bit more labored, and he leaned in to give me some heated kisses along my neck, holding himself up on my shoulders.
I could tell he was getting closer, and there was no way I was letting him get any further without tasting him. Slowing down with my hands, I slid off the counter, submitting myself on my knees for him - licking the precum off the tip of his exquisite, mouthwatering cock. Bringing him into my mouth, wrapping my lips around his coconut flavored dick, I felt like I was finally on the vacation I always wanted - sipping from the exact tall, delicious drink of which I’d always dreamed. Swirling my tongue just past the head, applying just a little bit of pressure on the just the right spot, feeling him shiver with pleasure, I couldn’t help but move one hand down my own body.
As I knelt on the floor looking up at him, he looked straight back down into my eyes with his mouth slightly agape - his penis in my mouth, one hand working his shaft, my other hand working my own clit. He tried to speak, “I’m gonna - can I - can - in your mouth?”
I nodded, continuing what I was doing so that he could finish inside me, and then I felt the abrupt convulsions in my hand, in my mouth, while Max’s whole body shuddered, and felt the warm, sticky cum running down my throat. The taste of coconut, with rum raisin, pineapple and a bit of salt - it was unusual, but seemed to be Max’s signature flavor and I licked that dick clean, while he leaned over me, watching.
“Sweetness, that was fucking hot.”
I looked up at him from the floor, and he offered his hand, lifting me up.
“Watching you masturbate while sucking my dick –” he shook his head, almost in disbelief, “But I can tell you still have a lot of heat and tension, and I’m gonna fuck that right out of you.”
I let out a loud guffaw, and covered my mouth, “Are you?”
He stepped closer to me, pressing me against the kitchen counter, “That’s satisfaction guaranteed, or your money back.”
I could feel his dick already starting to get hard again as it pressed into my hip.
Immediately, I started unbuttoning his vest, which he pulled off as I started working on the buttons on his shirt, which he yanked off and tossed on the floor. Then he pulled his pants and briefs off, leaving just his black business socks on. He picked me up and took me to my leather couch, laying me down, kissing me deeply - bestowing a thousand little kisses up and down my face and neck, moving down to suck on my nipples. When I thought I couldn’t take it any longer, he started rubbing his dick all along my pussy. Up and down, dipping in just enough to tease me, pulling back out and teasing me again. He was incorrigible.
I scowled at him, and he smirked, “I know what you want.”
“Then give it to me.”
“You asked for it, Sweetness.”
He rammed into me, and I cried out in bliss, each lunge into me, touching that magical little g spot, as the hairs above his shaft rubbed against my clit, creating an amazing dynamic of friction.
I could feel my release coming, “Don’t stop!”
My words fortified him, and he kept going, a teensy bit faster, a little bit harder, and Goldilocks perfect. I would not be surprised if two universes collided as a result of our build up and eventual release. We laid on the couch for a good 20 minutes after, not saying anything. Max on top of me, inside of me, curled up against me as we both caught our breath. Giving each other little kisses, but content to stay in place for the time being.
Until my stomach gurgled. Max lifted his head and looked at me, squinting at me beneath furrowed brows, as I gave him my most innocent, wide-eyed expression.
“Was that your stomach, growling like a baby cougar?”
After an elongated, awkward, Tina Belcher laugh, resistance was futile and I admitted the truth with a sing-songy, “Mayyy-beee.”
“Alright, yeah. I could eat, too.” Really? He can eat? Interesting. Put a pin in that for later.
“What are you in the mood for?”
“Hmmm –” giving it a moment while I thought, “Well, obviously there aren’t a lot of places open at this hour, but there is this amazing little Brazilian bakery/market that’s open 24/7. They have the most absolutely scrumtrulescent coxinhas,” sitting up, I started to get very excited, speaking with my hands, “perfectly crispy on the outside, with delicious, tender pulled chicken, veggies, cheese on the inside, and the dough is,” I put my hand up to my mouth, giving a chef’s kiss, “They use tapioca flour in their coxinhas and cheese bread, so every time you take a bite into them, it’s stretchy and cheesy and lightly crunchy and exquisitely savory.”
Leaning back against the couch, I sighed, content by the mere thought.
Staring at me with a grin on his face, Max nodded, “How about that? Sounds like I better not get in between you and this Brazilian bakery - if I want any chance of sticking around.”
Turning red, I rolled my eyes at his ridiculous implication. He chuckled and grabbed my leg at the calf, kissing my ankle, before reaching for his phone. As he scrolled through the meal delivery app, reading off different items on the menu, asking which things sounded better and whether or not I would share with him, I wrapped myself in my grandmother’s afghan thinking, Sorry, G-Ma, I know you’re jealous, wherever you are. Rest in Petty.
I know what you’re thinking, but she was judgy, okay? Good vibes only.
“So, what would you like to do while we wait?” Max asked, booping me on the nose.
“Let’s see if there are any good movies on the ol’ streamer,” sitting up again, I reached for the remote, turning on one of those popular streaming services, probably the one that begins with an “H” and ends with an “ulu” - because the first movie advertised on the main screen with an extremely loud preview was Twilight.
Jerking my head to the left to look at Max, a grin rapidly turning into a smile rivaling The Joker, nodding furiously, he laughed at me. He laughed with me? He laughed. In what appeared to be a good natured way. So I hit play and we were immediately transported to Forks, Washington.
“Uh, uh, wha - uh,” I did my best Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan impersonation, as Max slammed his hand over his mouth and nose, his face expressing pure disgust when I looked over at him, in a perfect “Edward reacts to Bella entering Bio class” move.
“Cool, cool,” was my automatic response, “Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool,” as my face contorted in overdramatic mock worry.
Taking his hand down from his mouth, Max smiled, rubbing my leg reassuringly. I didn’t need to be reassured, but it was nice anyway - I enjoyed the pampering from this confident, borderline arrogant man, sharing my grandmother’s (now “sex”) afghan with me on my couch.
“Okay - be real. You’re a vampire, you live forever, right?”
“Uh, yeah?” Max cautiously responded.
“Are you actually going to go back to high school and graduate 25 times?”
A deep chuckle, rumbling in his chest, “No! Absolutely not - I would never be that bored or boring to not move on to college, at least. There’s a whole world out there and so many people and vampires to meet. It’s not that small of a world that you don’t get a whole new set of people every lifetime to meet and explore.”
He was still laughing, when he looked over at me, recognizing by the far off look in my eye, that I was mulling over the fact that I was only one lifetime for him. His face dropped.
“Fuck. I’m sorry. I’m such an asshole.”
“No - no. It’s okay. It’s true, though, isn’t it?”
“It is,” he lamented, “It’s something that I really had to come to terms with after my unholy transition, and while I’m in a better place now, the idea is honestly a bit scary to me. I think it’s going to be one of the hardest things I do - to watch the people around me disappear, while I just keep going. I’ve made connections in the vampire world, so I’m not completely alone, but I’m not sure it’s going to be quite the same.”
He gave a light, hollow and sarcastic chuckle, shaking his head.
I mulled over his admission, the sadness that seemed to hang in the air despite his attempt to convince me otherwise by laughing about the permanence of his situation.
How should I approach this? How do I let him know that I’m here and he can talk to me? How do I give him the space to open up to me, without feeling obligated or feeling like he needs to protect me from difficult feelings? I can’t imagine there’s such a thing as an undead vampire therapist, to help humans becoming vampires with the emotional transition?
“If you could go back in time, and give yourself advice before you were turned - so that you could maybe have more choice in the situation, what would you tell yourself?”
Max shrugged his shoulders, “Hmm…” gazing into the distance, he went on, “I don’t know that it matters.” He looked back at me, “In the end, I’m exactly where I want to be - now.”
My heart, glowing as it beat a little bit faster, pumped blood straight to my face, as Max and I held each other’s gaze for what felt like too short a time. Though I’m sure it was at least a few minutes - until Max’s phone rang. On the TV, tires screeched, a horn honked, and just as Bella was about to get hit by a car, Edward jumped in front of her, denting the side of an oncoming van that surely would have crushed her against her truck.
We both laughed as I paused the movie and Max answered his phone.
“Yep, we’ll buzz you in. Thanks.”
Standing up while opening the buzzer app on his phone, he was completely naked. Save for the tie I left on him from our earlier shenanigans. I think I have a tie kink? Is that a thing? Max, abruptly aware that I was sitting on, and therefore hogging heretofore named Sex Afghan, giggled as he looked down at me, smiling doe-eyed as I gave him the up-down and the ‘how you doin’?’ Surveying the room, he paused as his gaze caught hold of something in the kitchen, drawing him there without a second to waste.
Trying not to be creepy, I decided to check my phone, instead of watching him walk away. Which technically, I did have my phone in my hand, I absolutely caught him in the corner of my eye as he sauntered towards the kitchen. Beauty, thy name is Max. However, I was truly tickled when he returned wearing my red floral robe, with the tie and the black socks. I couldn’t help but clap my hands together in joyful delight!
“Oh, you like this, huh?”
Before I could answer, there was a knock at the door and Max went to answer it, quietly talking to the person on the other side of the door, “Yeah - thanks. That’s for you, slugger - no change.”
“Thank you so much, sir! Have a good night!” came a disembodied voice from the hallway.
I jumped up and went to the kitchen, grabbing some plates, utensils, napkins - carrying them back to the living room, where Max was setting the bag of take out on the coffee table. We sat down together, looking at our spread and admiring the feast before us, each getting excited to serve each other from the next container that we’d opened, “Have you gotten any of this, yet?” - “Make sure you try these with this sauce!”
Hitting resume on Twilight, we contentedly consumed both food and questionable media. As I watched Max happily biting into a coxinha, I was overcome with a very pressing question, “Max?”
“Hmm?”
“Twilight is telling me that vampires don’t eat people-food, but here I am, watching you eat. What the fuck is going on here? This movie is based on a book, and books don’t lie. Who even are you?”
In a fake rage, Max slapped his coxinha on his plate and pointed at the tv, “That’s fake fucking news is what that is. FAKE. NEWS.”
Switching back to his pleasant smirk, complete with adorable dimple, “Vampires need blood. It’s like I said before about the extreme anemia and vitamin D deficiency. We don’t need food. Food is a want. Food is icing on the cake. Can you imagine how terrible eternity would be without being able to try new cuisines?”
He shook his head, clearly imagining a hellish future in which food was no longer an option as he took a big, greedy bite into the coxinha - cheese stretching from his hand to his mouth.
“That - makes me incredibly happy to know.” I beamed at him, glad for the small joys that remained in a life lived undead.
On screen, Edward and Bella were in the middle of the forest, as Bella queried her own vampire, “How long have you been 17?”
“A while.” Edward huskily breathed.
“I know what you are.” Bella said, accusingly.
“Say it.” Edward demanded. “Out loud. Say it.”
Gasping in an almost orgasmic tone, “Vampire!”
We both threw back our heads and laughed, and then I cut my laughing short, leaving Max to stop also, out of confusion. “How old are you?”
“Wait - what?”
“I need to know that I’m not dating someone who’s trying to groom me.”
“Well, in vampire years –” he started counting on his fingers, and I gave him a playful punch on the shoulder.
“Human years, Max! Human years!”
His mouth dropped open and he cried fake tears, holding his shoulder, “You’re so strong!” I squinted at him. “Okay, okay. I’m 42 in human-years. Not like a permanent 42, but I turned 42 this year. Also, I’m glad that we’re officially dating. Your words.”
He raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips, then popped a mini cheese bread in his mouth without breaking eye contact.
Relieved, I sighed, “Good. I refuse to date someone 80 plus years older than me. That’s not healthy.”
Max agreed, nodding while sipping his drink from a crazy straw he found in one of my kitchen drawers.
While we continued watching the movie, I had a few more questions for him, although I tried not to press too deeply, in case any subjects were still sensitive.
“Sparkly skin - yay or nay?”
“In the sun?” Max scoffed, “Vampires don't make a habit of going in the sun. It hurts. On account of the burning and the minor flames.”
“I was wondering about that –”
“I mean, I can go out in the sun.”
Puzzled, I stared at him, awaiting some clarification.
“Vampires aren’t the only things that exist that you wouldn’t normally expect in the natural world.”
“Do go on, I’m all ears.”
“Witches.”
He chuckled at my stunned pout, “Down in New Orleans, there’s a heavy presence of those who practice witchcraft, Wiccan, and so many other varieties of, well, magic. It’s incredible really. But the vampires and the witches down there also have an understanding - which allowed me to procure this –” he held up his left hand, pointing to a silver ring on his middle finger.
“It’s a Daylight Ring. Its enchantment allows me to go out in the daylight whenever I want, without suffering from the excruciating side effects of being ‘sun averse’ and prone to burning.”
Laughing, I couldn’t help but respond, “Of course - why shouldn’t magic exist in the world? And when you have magic, why not use it to create accessibility options for vampires? It’s pretty genius.”
Slogging through the rest of the movie, unable to get through more than a few minutes at a time without finding ourselves providing what we both deemed to be constructive criticisms, we reached a point where I found myself with even more questions for Max.
“Are werewolves really that much of an occupational hazard?”
“OH, you don’t even know.” Max started, “They stink, they pee everywhere, there’s a truce in place, but it’s extremely fragile.”
“Seriously? A truce? Who put that in place?” I laughed, incredulous at all of this new information I was learning.
“Well, there’s actually a vampiric council. You’ve got the international branch of course, and then there’s regional ones. I’m still learning about the specific regions, but the one I’m most familiar with is the one in Staten Island. They’re - not the brightest. But they are definitely a good time.”
“So, this type of weird pack, coven, roving roommate pod of vampires where they feel the need to establish boundaries and lay claim to certain areas is more bureaucratic than animalistic as portrayed in the film?”
“Uhhhh –” Max took a moment to think, “They can feel very protective of their familiars and that bond is generally respected, but boundaries? They kinda don’t give a shit, unless someone is messing with their specific living space. Kinda like humans, honestly. Familiars are pets, don’t fuck with them. And stay off their lawn.”
“That sounds - surprisingly reasonable?” I waved my hand at the tv, “As opposed to whatever is going on here. Dramaaaa!”
Biting his lip, snickering, Max took my plate and set it on the coffee table, pulling me close to him as he set a throw pillow in his lap. Urging me to lay my head down, he gently started brushing his fingers along the hairline of my forehead, behind my ear, and down my neck. Repeating the motion, he continued to stroke my hair, occasionally using the tips of his fingers to massage along the back of my neck, as we finished the movie. Or, at least I think we finished the movie.
It felt like I just closed my eyes for a second, but when I opened them again, the tv volume was way down. On screen Bella, Jacob, and Edward were in some sort of heated threesome argument, with Edward begging Bella to come with him, Jacob making empty threats, and Bella asking Edward to read Jacob’s mind, because that’s obviously not a violation of anyone’s privacy.
Stretching, yawning, I asked, “Is this New Moon? Did you turn on the second movie?”
“Ehhhh —” Max hemmed, not entirely eager to answer, “Yeah. It is. It’s not - great. But it is a challenge to look away. It’s like when all the cars stop on the road when there’s some unfortunate incident, and everybody can’t help but slow down and look. I want to look away, but I’m powerless for some reason. Also, you were like a kitten in my lap, I couldn’t move while you slept - you seemed like you really needed it. I was kinda hostage to these movies.”
I guffawed, “Ha! Sure, absolutely. Nothing else to stream, huh?”
He gave me a playful warning ‘tsk, tsk, tsk’ between his teeth, shaking his head and narrowing his eyes down at me.
Taking the hint, I casually changed the subject.
“This mind reading business - is that a thing? Can you do that? I mean, sometimes you’re –”
Max laughed, interrupting me.
“No, no, no. That’s not a thing. Not for vampires at least, as far as I know. Our senses are heightened - taste, touch, smell, sound, sight…”
“And the sixth sense? Dead people?”
“Yes, but not in the way you’re hoping.” He said with a huge grin. “Unless, you want to find out?”
The way he phrased it was extremely flirtatious, but my inner instinct felt like the subject matter was - not? He can make anything sexy. Is that another vampire thing or just a Max thing? I wondered to myself, unsure whether or not to dissect the sexual innuendo of that last statement outloud.
A smile curled upwards on Max’s lips, “Your heart rate just rose.”
Putting my hand over my heart, as though I could hide it, he cackled, “It never gets old. Watching your changing expressions and how you react to me.”
Frowning up at him, he leaned down and kissed me, as one hand snaked its way into mine, stretching in between my fingers, flexing in and out. We continued our slow kiss, until the opening chords of House of the Rising Sun broke our focus and our calm.
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Leaning back up, Max stretched, reaching for his phone and shutting off the music.
“Alarm.” He sighed, looking back down at me, “Time for this vampire to turn back into a salesman.”
As I sat up, I turned so that I could face him - lifting my hand up to stroke his cheek, and he nestled into my hand, kissing my palm.
“Thank you for tonight, Max. Thank you for the beautiful new lingerie, dinner, the –” I spelled it out and exaggeratedly whispered, as though we’d done something unforgivable, “S-E-X.”
“Anytime and every time, Sweetness.” Giving me a wink and a kiss on the forehead before he stood up, “I’m wearing this back to my apartment,” indicating my red floral robe.
I frowned at him, unsure how I felt about him stealing one of my favorite clothing items, but then he took his right hand and lifted the right side lapel to his nose, sniffing deeply.
“It smells like you.”
Geezus, fuck. That was hot.
“Oh, oh. Okay, sure.” I nodded, suddenly very fine with it.
He gathered his clothing from the pile we’d left in the kitchen, and taking his white button up, he placed it around my shoulders, as I put my arms inside the sleeves.
“I want to see you in this later. Just this.”
Mimicking what he’d done with my robe, as we walked to the door, I gave him a curt response, “I suppose that can be arranged.”
He stared at me, mouth open slightly, for about 30 seconds before saying, “No. No - I’ve gotta go.” And pulled me in close for a quick kiss on the lips, before heading down the hallway. Turning around to throw me a cheeky smirk, he looked sufficiently ridiculous and somehow very, very spicy in the robe, socks, and tie.
Closing the door behind him, I proceed to walk over to the couch, where I picked up my sequined Nic Cage pillow, smoothing down all the sequins, before calmly jamming it against my face and giving a pleased groan, “Oh My Goooooood!”
Why did he make me feel like such a teenager?
My dopamine levels soaring, I knew I needed to pull myself down from these heights so that I could get some sleep. Lighting a lavender & sage candle, I started the shower, and put on a random selection of albums by neo-psychedelic surf-pop band, La Luz.
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“They love you today, soon they’ve gone away. You will know me by the way, I won’t ever hesitate.”
Crooning along to the trippy tunes, I thought about Max’s life as a vampire, “If the golden glow simmers into black and leaves you reeling. I won’t take it back. When I say I’m yours, you know I mean it.”
I stepped out of the shower, and remembering the melancholic undercurrents that he so coolly skated over in our earlier conversation about his vampiric lifestyle, I considered what I’d want my options to be. To at least have a companion, someone dear with me to spend the rest of time, to explore the world, to always consider that person my special place to hang my heart and call home. Forever is a long time to be a strong, independent person, who doesn’t need anyone else.
All this time that we were spending together, made me wonder if Max was flirting with the idea of turning me? Not once had he brought it up, so this would certainly be presumptuous on my part to expect him to make such an offer. From what I’ve seen of him, he doubtless goes after what he wants. Albeit, he has been very considerate of my feelings, my boundaries, my wants and needs. But I’m putting the cart before the horse - would I even say yes to that proposition?
Dressing in my silk night set, I grabbed my journal. Let’s write this out - maybe a stream of consciousness poem will help me to work out how I feel. Putting pen to paper, I thought about the way his jaw clenched a bit, right before his mouth turned up into a smile on one side, his dimple becoming prominent. The way it warmed me up from the inside out when he teased me, making my stomach drop like I’d just gone down the biggest hill on a rollercoaster, my fingers tingling, and my face a bit dizzy with the rush of blood to my cheeks.
In the warmth of your smile,
I melt like wax rolling
down the edge of a candle.
Flame licked and flickering
under your glow.
If I’m not careful
you might soften what the world
made hard in me.
If I’m not careful
the fire in you might jump my wick.
But maybe,
that’s how we were meant to meet -
your flame igniting
what was intended to be consumed,
illuminating my darkness -
bringing light to my nights.
Hmmm. I scrunched up my nose as I read over the words. Not entirely sure that made anything clearer - I closed my journal, and opted to sleep on it.
To be continued...
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#Pedro Pascal is a sexy vampire!#Max Phillips x afab!fem!reader#Bloodsucking Bastards FanFic#NOT Twilight#GTFO Renesmé#Endometriosis Awareness#Adenomyosis Awareness
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goblet of fire thoughts !!!
(my first watch as a marauders fan. spoilers obviously.)
writing my thoughts down bc i’m a Talker during movies and my family is not watching with me
barty <3 i’m trying not to lose it rn
this is the skin of a killer bella (i’ve never seen twilight)
lucius’ hair is so luscious
morsmordre is the coolest word ever idec
oooohhh cho chang (i hate her name so much fuck jkr)
isn’t it funny that ron has a crush on fleur and then she married ron’s brother
fred and george my pookies
eeeee moody (barty)
this is an age line 🤓
krumione is so funny to me
lowk do not like ron in this movie
HARRYDIDYOUPUTYOURNAMEINTHEGOBLETOFFIRE
rita! if only this movie had quillkiller
knowing exactly what size a broom cupboard is is important for future writings
“my eyes aren’t glistening with the ghosts of my past”
sirius!!!!!
neville <3
i’m not an owl 🦉🤓😠
ron is so sirius
i’m a draco girl im so sorry i can’t help myself he’s so fine
moody (barty) is so real i love him
i never realized how far away the quidditch pitch is from hogwarts
trying to figure out how im gonna write this in the context of the marauders
krum is so
when dumbledore calls barty crouch sr ‘barty’ it messes with me so much
these mini dragons are so cutie
the way harry just destroyed part of the castle
brb memorizing the gryffindor common room layout
harry smiling at cho and then the pumpkin juice falls out of his mouth 😭😭😭
RON’S DRESS ROBES
love ginny
mcgonagall teaching dance lessons
fred and george are so sirius and james
i love neville so much i would happily go to the yule ball with him
ew snape boooo 🍅
harry 😭
RON 😭😭😭 “you know how i like it when they walk”
padma and pavarti’s outfits EAT
guys i know hermione’s dress in the book is blue but in the movie it HAS to be pink ok
MRS NORRIS HAS RED EYES?!
i used to have a crush on moaning myrtle
love neville
harry turning into a little half mermaid
my dad just walked in and said “that’s the dream” (turning into a half mermaid when you swim)
harry is so james for trying to save everyone
fred and george calling harry “moral fiber”
barty crouch sr and moody (barty) 😧
THE TRIAL SCENE AHHHH
“evan rosier is dead” 💔
rip frank and alice
“give me a wretched name! BARTY CROUCH…… junior”
barty is so fine ahhhhhh
the way he just flicks his tongue 😭
barty and sirius would’ve been best friends in azkaban
cassandra but it’s harry about his dreams
oh no this is the part where cedric dies
this movie reminds me of the cursed child because of That One Part
“periculum” red sparks remember that
“kill the spare” 💔
rip robert pattinson you will be missed
voldemort’s fetus body getting thrown in the cauldron 😭
why did they have to make wormtail so ugly like
tom riddle was a hottie why’d he have to turn into a snake man
brooo put your dogs away
voldy’s manicure eats lowkey
i forget how small the dark mark is on their arm
death eater outfits are so funky
lucius 😧
lily mention 💔
“i can touch you know” voldy he’s 14
ooooo duel
james ☹️
lily ☹️
his eyes really are glistening with the ghosts of his past
“i don’t think i said anything about a graveyard professor”
the trunk is cool
moody (barty) turning to barty We Are So Back
he’s so babygirl
the way barty just escaped azkaban and no one noticed 😭
you can tell dumbledore isn’t straight because he stands like [see picture below]
and it’s over
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FRIEND WHATS WITH YOUR TAGS ABOUT DAMEN BEING THE OPPOSITE OF EDWARD CULLEN AHAHAHAHAHAH I LOST IT
It's true though!! If Damen was a vampire and Laurent was human he would never in a million years try to discourage the relationship or leave for Laurent's own good. Edward is all "this is the skin of a killer, Bella!" and Damen is like "I killed your brother and you tried to kill me, traumatizing us both. Let's make out about it."
They're both unhinged people in very different ways that somehow makes them balance each other out, and Damen has a very Bella-like attitude of not caring how weird their situation is. Probably because they both have zero sense of self preservation. You could argue that this makes Laurent more like Edward, because they're the ones who say "this is fucked up and I should at least try to stay away from this person no matter how irresistible they are."
Anyway, if you want to know what inspired this very random train of thought, it was this quote: "The kiss was like a wound, as if to do it Laurent was impaling himself on that knife. There was an edge of desperation to it, Laurent kissing like he needed it, his fingers clutching, his body unsteady. Damen groaned, wanting it selfishly, his thumbs pressing hard into Laurent’s flesh. He kissed back knowing it hurt him, hurt them both."
#avdhsjs i think this is the weirdest capri take i've ever had#i hope you're doing well my friend <3#thanks for the ask :)#captive prince#ask#anon#my post
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Hello lovely! I'd love to get shipped! I'm not feeling great right now and I an in dire need of a pick me up.
That being said I'd like a ship from all or any of the following. Men from Supernatural, Once upon a Time and Twilight!
I stick to myself a lot but I'm really chatty, I love spoiling and looking after my friends. I get in rough patches a lot and sadly have a fair deal of trauma but I mainly use humour as a bit of a Shield.
I like to bake, especially caramel cakes, I like playing videogames, I love detective fiction (all of it, games, movies, TV shows and it doesn't even matter the year.) I've been told often I talk way too much but I don't really care. I also love fairytales, the cute Disney-esque ones and the insanely creepy and underground fairytales.
I have dyed hair and a few piercings, I'm overweight but trying my damnedest to fix that. I'm also stupidly pale. (To make my mum laugh I once covered myself in glitter and yelled at her "THIS IS THE SKIN OF A KILLER BELLA" I'm that pale that I could easily pass.) I once managed to honestly convince a year 7 that I was a vampire. They avoided me for a year.
Anywhos! Hope you're well, I look forward to seeing who you pair me with! And thank you for reading 💙
-Meg
I'm sorry you're not feeling well, lovely! But, quick question: Are you me?!?! We even share a name😂
I ship you with:
Dean Winchester! Your sense of humor brings Dean so much joy. He also quiet enjoys your baking and loves to be in the kitchen with you. Whatever your goals, as long as you aren't hurting yourself, Dean is there to back you up. Plus, he also enjoys the occasional video game!
I ship you with:
Jefferson/The Mad Hatter! Jefferson loves it when you bake for his tea parties. He enjoys watching you put your own unique spin on recipes. He is always there to help you through your rough patches and will have your back no matter the situation. Also, in the modern world, he loves to do those Unsolved Case Files with you for date nights. You both have a lot of fun!
I ship you with:
Felix Volturi! Do not let his exterior fool you! Felix is one of the most playful members of the Elite Guard(second only to Demetri)! My headcanon is that several members of the Elite Guard enjoy video games and Felix is one of those. He loves to joke around with you about your pale skin and how there would be no difference if you were to be turned. He is also extremely loyal and protective so he has your back, always.
Feel better soon!
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Headcanon that since Jack is a winter spirit and all that. His skin and hair sparkles like freshly fallen snow when the light hits it.
When twilight comes out he is ecstatic that he too has “the skin of a killer, bella”
And yes he has acted out several scenes much to others annoyance (and confusion)
#Jack: hold on tight spider monkey#hiccup: what the actual fuck#yes I put in a bit of hijack#so sue me#Jack invented the angsty immortal look#jack frost#hiccup horrendous haddock the 3rd#hijack#frostcup#twilight#rise of the guardians#jackson overland frost
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Rtc kids singing "there right there" (with Nischa and also I don't think Ocean is homophobic my mind just thinks of her when the lyrics that I put for her come up)
Constance: There, right there! Look at that tan, well-tended skin Look at the killer shape he's in Look at that slightly stubbly chin Oh please, he's gay, totally gay!
Karnak: I'm not about to celebrate Every trait could indicate A totally straight expatriate. This guy's not gay, I say not gay
All: That is the elephant in the room Well, is it relevant to assume That a man who wears perfume Is automatically, radically fey?
Ricky: But look at his coiffed and crispy locks
Penny: Look at his silk translucent socks
Ocean: There's the eternal paradox
Ocean: Look what we're seein'
Penny: What are we seein'?
Ocean: Is he gay?
Constance: (Of course he's gay!)
Ocean: Or European?
All: Oh Gay or European? it's hard to guarantee Is he gay or European?
Ricky: Well, hey, don't look at me!
Penny: You see, they bring their boys up different In those charming foreign ports They play peculiar sports
All: In shiny shirts and tiny shorts Gay or foreign fella? The answer could take weeks They both say things like "ciao bella" While they kiss you on both cheeks
Penny: (Oh, please)
All: Gay or European? So many shades of gray
Karnak: Depending on the time of day The French go either way
All: Is he gay or European, or-
Ocean: There, right there! Look at that condescending smirk Seen it on every guy at work That is a metro, hetero jerk That guy's not gay, I say no way!
All: That is the elephant in the room Well is it relevant to presume That a hottie in that costume
Constance: Is automatically, radically
Ricky: Ironically, chronically
Penny: Certainly, flirtingly
Ocean: Genetically, medically
All: Gay, officially gay Swishily gay, gay, gay, gay Damn it! Gay or European?
Ricky: So stylish and relaxed
All: Is he gay or European?
Ricky: I think his chest is waxed
Constance: But they bring their boys up different there It's culturally diverse It's not a fashion curse
All: If he wears a kilt or bears a purse Gay or just exotic? I still can't crack the code
Ocean: Yeah, his accent is hypnotic But his shoes are pointy-toed
All: (Huh) Gay or European? So many shades of gray
Ocean: But if he turns out straight I'm free at eight on Saturday
All: Is he gay or European? Gay or European?Gay or Euro-
Ricky: Wait a minute Give me a chance to crack this guy I have an idea I'd like to try
Karnak: The floor is yours
Ricky: So, Mr. Bachinski this alleged affair with Ms. Bolinska has been going on for?
Mischa: Two years
Ricky: And your first name again is?
Mischa: Mischa
Ricky: And your boyfriend's name is?
Mischa: Noel I-I, sorry! I misunderstand! You say "boyfriend" I thought you say "best friend" Noel is my best friend
Nole: You bastard! You lying bastard! That's it I no cover for you no more! Peoples I have a big announcement! This man is gay and European
All: (whoa!)
Noel: And neither is disgrace
All: (oh)
Noel: You gotta stop your bein' A completely closet case
All: (d'oh!)
Noel: It's me, not her he's seein' No matter what he say I swear he never, ever, ever Swing the other way You are so gay, you big parfait You flaming one-man cabaret
Mischa: I'm straight!
Noel: You were not yesterday So if I may, I'm proud to say He's gay
All: (and European!)
Noel: He's gay
All: (and European!)
Noel: He's gay
All: (and European and gay!)
Mischa: Fine, okay, I'm gay!
All: Hooray!
#rtc#ride the cyclone musical#noel gruber#ocean oconnell rosenberg#ricky potts#nischa#penny lamb#constance blackwood#mischa x noel
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B&B: It’s a Lot
And another request down! Woo!
Prompt: Felix avoids Reader cause he doesn’t know how to deal with feelings
~~~
“Felix,”
“Yeah?”
“Just pick a fucking movie.”
You and Felix were in the movie rental store trying to pick a movie for your weekly movie night. This week it was Felix’s choice and as always he was taking forever. He could never just pick one from a genre he liked. It was a whole process of his and a bunch of slow elimination.
“I want to pick a good one. The movie you picked out last week sucked.”
“It sounded good from the description on the back.”
“And instead we spent two hours watching some of the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen.”
“We had fun riffing it though.”
“This is the skin of a killer, Bella.” Felix spoke in a gravelly voice that made you laugh.
“Shut up!” you smacked his arm. “Pick a movie already or I’m grabbing the sequel.”
“Fine. Fine.” he picked up a movie with a zombie looking guy in a black and white suit on the cover. “Beetlejuice. How does that sound?”
“Looks interesting.” you shrugged. You paid for the rental and walked back onto the street. “Do we want to stop by the pharmacy for snacks or do you think we have some back at the apartment?”
“I think we only have popcorn at home and I want something sweet to eat so let’s stop by the store.” One of his arms was wrapped around your waist and he started tickling your side.
“Stop!” You tried to shove him off but he held you tighter. “You are such a dick! Quit it!”
“Now why would you want me to do that?” he had fully grabbed you now and squeezed you to his chest. “I thought you liked it when I held you.”
You rolled your eyes with a laugh. “You are impossible.”
“Can you two stop blocking the sidewalk?” you looked up and saw Devin watching you with a bored expression. “I know you’re in love but geez, has some awareness of your surroundings.”
“You could have just walked around. It’s not like anyone is on the road.” you cuffed him on the arm, “What are you doing out anyway? Evil Queen got you running errands?”
“Picking up a prescription.” he held up a little paper bag, “Apparently I have allergies to pollen.”
“What?”
“I get sneezy around flowers.”
“Oh, that makes so much more sense as to why you were such a mess on Neverland.”
“It does, doesn’t it?” Devin sighed, “And you two? Movie night I see.”
“Yep.” you looped your arm through Felix’s. “We were on our way to grab some snacks.”
“Well, have fun lovebirds. I am off to convince Regina to teach me how to make poisons.”
“She’s never going to teach you how to make poison, Devin.”
“She will if she wants me to stop annoying her!” Devin cackled and sauntered off.
“What does he even think he is gonna do with poison?” you muttered to yourself. You pulled on Felix’s arm to keep moving but he stood still a moment. “Something wrong?”
“Oh, nothing,” his arm fell out of your grasp and he walked on ahead of you. You grabbed your snacks and went back to the apartment.
You got comfortable on the couch and waited for Felix to sit before hitting play on the movie. He had been pretty silent the entire walk home but you didn’t think much of it. Felix wasn’t much of a talker at the best of times. Considering how playful he was being before though, it struck you as odd. Felix came back and set the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table before taking a spot at the opposite end of the couch.
Now what was this? Usually you were squashed right next to each other during movie night. Why was he so far away? Maybe he just wants to sit on that side, you reasoned. You hit play but you couldn’t keep your focus on the movie. You kept glancing at Felix. Little by little you scooted down the couch until you were next to him, cuddling into his side. He made no move to push you off but he wasn’t holding you either. It was almost like you weren’t even there.
You were reading too much into it. That had to be it.
After the movie you started getting ready for bed. You were scared that when it came time to sleep that Felix would lock you out of the bedroom but he didn’t. He wasn’t facing you though. Why did he feel so far though he was so near?
“Felix?” you poked his shoulder as you slipped into bed, “Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been awfully quiet since we got back.”
“I’m fine. Just tired.”
“Okay…” you leaned over and gave his cheek a kiss. “Good night.”
One of his hands reached back and grabbed yours. One little connection. “Good night, darling.”
If you thought Felix’s attitude would change by morning it didn’t. He was still around but he only spoke when provoked and he wasn’t seeking out your company. You tired asking again if anything was wrong but he denied it. He’s in a mood. That’s all it was. It would blow over.
It did not blow over. If anything, it was getting worse. In the quiet of the apartment he was still falling asleep next to you and talking to you but outside of there he may as well have been a ghost. He disappeared the moment you were out in public. He kept a good distance between you when you walked down the street and you noticed any time you tried to get closer his hands would bury themselves in his pockets so you couldn’t hold them.
It was a change that hadn’t gone unnoticed either. You were having dinner with Snow and David one night and Felix excused himself early even though it was his favorite meal.
“Is something wrong with Felix?” David asked, “He’s usually less broody and sullen on Fried Chicken Friday.”
“I don’t know what his problem is but is pissing me off.” you crossed your arms. “He’s been like this for a week! I keep asking what is wrong but he won’t talk to me.”
“Do you think one of us should talk to him?” Snow suggested.
“No offense, but if he isn’t going to tell me then he sure as hell isn’t going to talk about it with either of you. No, this is something I’m going to have to force out of him.” you stood up and grabbed David’s sword from out of the umbrella basket. “Don’t worry, I won’t destroy any of the furniture.”
“I’m more concerned about you slicing Felix to ribbons.” David called after you as left their apartment to walk into yours.
“FELIX!” you busted down the bedroom door. Felix launched off the bed and put his hands up when he saw you with the sword. “I am sick of you avoiding me and acting all distant! I tried to let you off easy and tell me in your own time but that’s run out. Now tell me what the hell you think you are doing!”
“Darling, hows about we put down the sword and talk about this.”
“Funny how you only want to talk about it when I have a sword on you. So no, it is staying up. Think of it as incentive not to piss me off more.”
His shoulders slumped and his face crumpled. A pang of sympathy for whatever he was feeling shot through your heart. “Talk to me.” you pleaded.
He sighed deeply and sat back on the bed. “Yes, I’ve been avoiding you. I’m sorry.”
“Why though? Why are you avoiding me?”
“Because…” Felix’s hands fisted the duvet cover, “It’s all so obvious.”
“Obvious?”
“Us.” he hung his head lower so you couldn’t see his eyes. “What Devin said before, it hit me. We wanted to keep this relationship a secret. Figured it would be best if everyone thought we were just friends so we didn’t get harassed. But we are so obvious about it. I am so obvious about it. I thought putting distance between us would fix it.”
“You. Big. Idiot.” you dropped the sword and sat next to him. “Yeah, I want to keep our relationship secret but if you think we are being too obvious then tell me! Don’t just avoid me like a moron! I’ve been so confused and worried this entire week.”
“It also just feels…I don’t know, it feels so much bigger now too.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, back on Neverland this thing between us kind of felt like another game. It was fun and we never had to think much about it cause we had all of eternity. But here, we are on a timer. We are aging and I guess a part of me freaked out because I know that what we have isn’t a game. It’s real. But, since it is real that also means that you can decide to leave and you won’t be my Lost Girl anymore. You might meet someone else and like them better.”
“Felix,” you grabbed his hand, “I know that things have changed between us since we started living here. Everything feels bigger now that we know we are going to grow old and die one day. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to up and decide I don’t want to be around you anymore and run off with someone else. We have known each other for hundreds of years, we’ve been romantically and physically involved for decades and decades now. You understand me in a way no one else can even come close to. So no, I am not going to leave. Do you want to know why?”
“Why?” he said with a small crooked smile.
“Cause I love you, idiot. I always have. I always will. Don’t forget that again.”
“I love you too, darling.” he kissed your forehead. “Sorry for being an ass.”
“You’re forgiven.” you stood up, “Now, let’s go back to dinner.”
“Okay,” he took your hand. “We still good for our movie night tomorrow?”
“Of course.”
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supernatural s11e20 don't call me shurley (w. robbie thompson)
late start because i was determined to make pumpkin pie from scratch today (for thanksgiving tomorrow) but didn't start until later in the afternoon. it's out of the oven and rough and ready, as paul says :S
how long is metatron gonna keep popping up? aren't we done with him yet. oh, is this when we learn about chuck finally?
CHUCK
Okay. That's fair. Mildly constructive. Still, It doesn't justify you... burning one of my books though.
METATRON
What are you talking about?
CHUCK
Tall Tales. You were monologuing to Castiel and you threw one in the fire.
LOL if ever there was an episode i would like to throw in the fire, tall tales is it. good one, robbie
okay sprinkling beer on your shirt to iron it.... seems like a really bad idea in a variety of ways. nothing says profesh like smelling like beer :P
LOL okay, just trollin sammy, got it
METATRON
Well... it's an Oscar-worthy performance. But... how did nobody know? I mean, wh-what about that amulet thingy? Y-You told me about it, some... silly charm that burned brightly in the presence of you?
CHUCK
You mean this?
METATRON
Yes! Dean had it! And your fav— Castiel. They were around you. How did it never—
CHUCK
I turned it off. See? I should really put this away. You'll never guess where this thing has been this entire time.
have known some broad strokes amulet fixit stuff, i think i skimmed the wiki page on it when dean tossed it originally because i'd read so much amulet fixit fic i was curious if they did anything in the show. kind of like the voicemail that got changed, that one i can never keep straight what happened in canon vs fic :p i was so sure they addressed it in the show!
CHUCK
Last time I saw that look on an editor's face, I just handed in Bugs. All right, come on. Safe place.
that one could have done with some heavy editing, but there was some good brother moments in there! i snorted, nonetheless
having a hard time staying focused on this writing his memoir thing. kind of navel gazing about writers and i'm just waiting for the point to arrive :p that god is ready to let the world get wiped out? is that the point?
METATRON
Why did you create life?
CHUCK
I was lonely.
perennial question of where are the other deities in this equation
CHUCK
I took responsibility for her, too. Locked her away – barely, I might add. And who let her out?
METATRON
Sam and Dean Winchester. But they're trying to fix that.
CHUCK
You know I love those guys, but the world would still be spinning with Demon Dean in it. But Sam couldn't have that, though, could he? And so how is Amara being out on me?
METATRON
It's not. But I-you helped the Winchesters before.
CHUCK
Helped them? I've saved them! I've rebuilt Castiel more times than I can remember! Look where that got me.
look indeed. this feels like the more plastic sort of fanservice. we're gonna address so many things!
rob sheridan and curtis armstrong are doing a good job, curtis is nearly making me like metatron calling god to task, but i also don't really care 😔
this whole fog thing and sam getting infected feels really contrived and random too? buh.
SAM
We're not gonna make it.
DEAN
No, no, no. There's no quitting here.
SAM
We're never gonna make it.
DEAN
Sam, listen to me. That's not you talking. It's the fog.
SAM
You were gonna choose Amara over me. Over everything.
DEAN
Sam, no!
SAM
Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, Dean. I can't fight this. You got to go. You have to get out before you're infected.
SAM
Go before I hurt you!
DEAN
No, I'm not leaving you – ever!
should be hitting some emotional buttons but i'm just 😐 didn't sam just almost die literally a couple episodes ago? not even pretty pictures of them because it's so foggy
s11e20 - samulet sparkle / twilight - this is the skin of a killer, bella
i mean i get it, it's kind of a generic twinkly sound but this is immediately what my brain went to
the only reason i got any emotional kick of out of this sequence was rob's singing, and the song choice. and the way metatron reacted, i mean that's some turn around that he can look so concerned and sad and taking on the fare thee well lyrics that he could wring a few tears out of me. [coming back to this, the script notes are for positive emotions but i did not get that, and this song is... sad????]
all right so i was fairly sure there was some stuff in the script about the samulet so
okay so. i cheated and knew he kept it. but are we to believe he was carrying it around on his person? that can't be right :p because it would SURELY have gotten lost a million times. would be a downright miracle even if it was locked up somewhere safe. anyway. hurray for samulet fixit? what a weird fucking episode though. again, maybe i'll like it better with some distance and some builtin expectations for emotions.
(more tears though listening to various artists singing dink's song / fare the well on spotify - marcus mumford, my fave, and oscar isaac have a version that's lovely)
youtube
#supernatural#spnwatch#spn 11x20#twilight#spn clip#spn musical score#i guess?#fare thee well#dink's song#robbie thompson#Youtube#rob benedict
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this trend is so dead but these are my oddly specific roman empires.
Taylor Swifts Eras tour Illicit Affairs performance
Stone Butch Blues
Winter Spiced Cranberry Sprite
"This is the skin of a killer Bella."
Bojack Horseman
The sharpie bathtub
The line in 50 shades of grey where he says "I don't make love i fuck....hard" (because what)
Madeline getting her appendix out
"I've got a republican doctor, made my ass great again MAGA"
Jo from MUNA's life changing haircut
Everything Lucy Dacus has ever written
But I'm a Cheerleader
How diffrently Lesbians and Gay men are portrayed in media
How many times i could have died
American Girl Doll stop motions
Preacher's Daughter
Jesus Baker
Two Headed Calf
"If you where raised with an angry man in your house their will always be an angry man in your house."
Domestic Violence Statistics
"My dad is the worst man alive and i am his favorite daughter"
How different people started treating me when I became more conventionally attractive.
Lesbian History
#lesbian#girlblogging#roman empire#just girly things#things i think about#music#this is a girlblog#girlblogger
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