#he can't cry right. he could cry *out* maybe
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please please please need a part two of the fight blurb 😭 what happens next 😭😭😭
should i make it into a full fic omg?? maybe?? lol
but on the real, i think that he would have to take a leave from the restaurant, which truthfully, everyone needed. this is just what broke him. the one time he actually tries to deal with his shit and not just blow up, get embarrassed, try to make it up, and repeat the cycle with no real change. i mean, you took his babies? anchovy and teddy. you're not returning his calls. richie, fak, and sweeps are alternating wellness check watches because they're terrified he's going to hurt himself, especially after the way he spiraled when he found your wedding ring.
he knows where you're at. he managed to become technologically savvy all of a sudden and figured out how to see your location, that you shared with him when you first started dating. fak wouldn't let him take his car. richie had put him on a full blown "psych ward type shit" lockdown until he "got his shit together, cousin".
"richie said-"
"-richie's a fuckin' moron, give me my fucking keys, fak!"
"carmen," fak frowns. "i-i can't."
so carmen walked. he walked to sugar and pete's house. nearly an hour walk through chicago. smoking so much he felt sick.
pete answered the door, face falling as soon as he saw carmen.
"carm, h-hey, man-"
"-where is she?" carmen wasn't interested on any sort of small talk, tunnel visioned to get to you.
"uh, i-i don't-"
"-pete, i really don't want you to fuck with me right now, alright." carmen took a deep breath, throat burning with tears. "i need to see- i-i need to see her pete." he couldn't bring himself to even say your name.
a tiny meow came from behind pete, anchovy skippering towards carmen with bright eyes, tail raised. it made carmen's jaw clench, tears blurring his vision. he knew you had to be close by. looking at the time, you were probably feeding teddy, maybe putting her down for a nap. he should have been more considerate, came later in the day, carmen thought.
pete looked at the cat, down the hall, then back at carmen. "carm..." pete hesitated, gripping the door, letting it shut gently, shielding something behind him. "you know i can't."
"what the fuck? pete that's- just let me in." anger surged through carmen's chest, trying to swallow it down. all he'd been was angry. angry and sick and distraught, a never ending cycle for weeks, just amplified by your leaving.
"you want to get her back? quit actin' like a goddam baby." richie sneered one night, just days ago, when carmen was especially awful and mean. "quit actin' like this isn't your fuckin' fault. like you didn't do this to yourself. take some fuckin' accountability, grow the fuck up, and get your motherfuckin' shit together. and maybe-maybe you'll get your family back."
carmen turned, running a hand over his face, trying to calm himself. keep himself from crying, from screaming, from pushing pete down and running back there so he could see you himself- throw himself at your feet and beg for forgiveness.
"pete, please? please?" carmen's voice wobbled, breaking gently. "please l-let me talk to her. just let me- let me tell her i'm sorry. don't-"
"-carmen?" sugar's voice came from behind pete. her face dropped, different than pete's, her's was angry. "what the fuck are you doing here?"
"why do you think i'm here, natalie? huh?-"
"-oh, you've got a lot of fucking nerve showing up here." natalie sneered, pulling the door open and stepping out. "pete, go inside."
"nat-"
"-i got it." natalie hissed, eyes narrowing at carmen. she waited until pete left, shaking her head at him. "you should be fucking ashamed-"
"-i am-"
"-mortified." sugar continued. "do you know what i came home to the other night? i came home to pete taking care of your baby because your wife came here sobbing- sobbing, because you screamed at her? what the fuck is wrong with you? huh?"
"i don't know." carmen's voice was tight, fighting a tremble. "i-i don't fuckin' know. i didn't- i-i didn't mean-" a tear fell, the final crack in his demeanor. carmen wasn't sure how he had tears left, how he could sob anymore. yet here he was, on his sister's porch, tears flowing again.
sugar didn't comfort him, didn't move, just watched him through glaring eyes. "please let me s-see her. let me se-ee teddy, sugar, don't-don't keep my kid from me-"
"-i'm not keeping your kid from you." sugar snapped. "i didn't take teddy away. you know who did? you. you did carmen."
carmen flinched, he knew it was true but it still stung. "i know you don't remember dad very well, but you're acting just like him." sugar sneered.
"and before you try and come up with an excuse-"
"-i-i'm not-"
"-i want you to know, that every day. every single fucking day, there's days i want to drink myself to sleep. that mj or maggie make me want to pull my hair out and scream, or pete does something that infuriates me, but you know what i don't do?" sugar stepped towards carmen, arms still crosses. "i don't yell at them, i don't drink myself incoherent, i don't fucking act like mom or dad because i know how that felt." sugar jabbed a finger in her chest, eyes holding carmen's gaze intensely.
"i know how that fucked me up, i know how it fucked them up, how it fucked you and mikey up too- how it fucked everything in our fucking life up!" natalie laughed humorlessly. "and the last thing, the very last thing i would want, is to do that to pete, to my kids, to anyone."
carmen felt sick and yet eerily calm all at once. his chest was tight, he was sure he couldn't breathe, but he couldn't stop listening. a damning realization- a shameful one.
"you need to make up your mind, right here, right now, before you see anyone else." natalie stepped back towards the door. "you need to decide if you're going to continue to be a selfish piece of shit, or if you're going to change. and i can tell you, change is uncomfortable- it's not easy. you have to fight for it every single day. but i would rather do that than not have my family."
she looked down at carmen, twisting the knob. "you decide that, then maybe- maybe you can see them." carmen flinched at the door slamming behind her, not moving from his place on the porch, head in his hands.
fak showed up nearly an hour later, wide eyed and rambling about "how the fuck did you just leave? i was playing ball buster and-and then you're gone-"
carmen ignores him, sliding into the car slowly. "carmen?"
"you uh," carmen's voice is hoarse, staring straight ahead. "you said that, uh, that richie's got.... got someone for me to talk to?"
fak blinks, nodding slowly. "the therapist? yeah-"
"-take me there." carmen looks over at sugar's house. he isn't sure if it's his imagination or not, but for a moment he swears he can see you, peeking through the blinds.
"a-are you ok?" fak is worried, a little rattled at the sudden change. especially since carmen had been so adamant about not seeing "your stupid fuckin' therapist, richie, clearly she's no fuckin' good because look at you! you're still fucked up!" carmen's enraged words from days ago.
"no," carmen admits, throat swelling with a growing lump. "but, uh, i-i wanna be." he admits quietly, looking over at fak. "i gotta get my shit together, fak. i-i gotta be better for them."
fak doesn't deny it, doesn't console him. just goes quiet with a nod, driving away. carmen watches sugar's house disappear in the rearview, his heart aching, breaking, but he knows natalie is right. he knows he'll be back once he's better, that he has to be better. for teddy. for you. for your family.
#thebearer#bearblahs#carmen berzatto#carmen berzatto x reader#the bear#carmy berzatto x reader#carmy berzatto#dad!carmen berzatto#dad!carmen berzatto x mom!reader#pete the bear#richie jerimovich#natalie berzatto#sugar berzatto#neil fak#carmen berzatto angst#carmen berzatto x fem!reader#carmen berzatto x female!reader#dorothea “teddy” berzatto
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hi <3 how about bucktommy and "i can't belive this"
“I can’t believe this,” Buck groans, dropping his head to Tommy’s lap and stretching out, his feet hanging over the arm of the couch.
It’s late morning by now, maybe even early afternoon. Buck had stumbled into bed last night with his head spinning, steadied by Tommy’s arm across his waist and his warm, familiar weight behind him. He’d slept like a rock until the pounding in his head woke him up a few minutes ago, his throat dry and his eyes hot as his hangover roared to life. His heart fluttered when he mustered up the courage to open his eyes all the way and saw the glass of water and two ibuprofen on the nightstand, both of which he downed before he let his feet hit the floor.
He made his way into the bathroom, where his heart fluttered again as he realized he was wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants he had no recollection of putting on last night, both of which are just a little bit too big to be his own. He brushed his teeth with the toothbrush that showed up in the bathroom the same day Tommy gave him a spare key to his house. It still makes him smile every time he sees it in the cup beside the sink, right next to Tommy’s own.
Buck found Tommy in the kitchen, dropping a bagel into the toaster and humming to himself under his breath. Buck slid up behind him, snaking his arms around Tommy’s waist and resting his chin on Tommy’s shoulder. Tommy had turned his head to press a kiss to the top of Buck’s head, murmuring “G’morning,” into his curls as his hands came to cover Buck’s own. They stayed like that for a minute, content to just hold each other in the silence of the morning, until the bagel popped up and Tommy ushered Buck into one of the stools at the small island so he could coax half the bagel and a few sips of coffee into him.
They wound up in the living room after that, Buck’s need to be horizontal far greater than his need for the rest of the breakfast Tommy so sweetly prepared for him. Tommy shut the overhead lights off on the way in, just before he stopped to pull the curtains shut on his way to the couch. Buck’s chest ached beneath the pleasant weight of being loved like this. It still does now, as his head rests in Tommy’s lap and he announces that he can’t believe how hungover he is.
“And yet I have no trouble believing it,” Tommy says dryly.
Buck pouts. “I didn’t even drink that much.”
Tommy scoffs. Even when he does, it’s warm and fond and it doesn’t make Buck feel bad at all. In fact, it only makes him smile. “Sure you didn’t.”
Tommy strokes Buck’s cheek gently, his fingers trailing up until they reach the soft curls atop his head, loose and messy from a night of deep sleep. He runs a hand through Buck’s hair, soft and gentle in the same way Maddie always did when Buck was a kid and he didn’t feel well.
He’s not six years old with the flu this time, and the hand in his hair isn’t that of his sister, but Buck still feels every bit as adored as he did back then. He could cry if he thinks about it too hard.
“C’mon, I didn’t!”
“I could agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.”
In Buck’s defense, the do-over bachelor party had been Chimney’s idea. Chimney’s idea that Buck took to immediately– he practically had the karaoke room booked before his next breath– but Chimney’s idea all the same. It was born out of Chim feeling so badly about missing the first one, despite everyone’s repeated insistence he wasn’t allowed to apologize for contracting a debilitating brain infection that nearly took his life. Though Buck likes to think that maybe, deep down, Chim wasn’t so opposed to the initial one as much as he led them to believe.
And also in Buck’s defense, it was much more tame this time around. No hotel rooms were trashed, no doors were kicked in, and Eddie managed to keep his shirt on and intact the entire time. There was tequila, though. A lot of tequila. So much tequila that Buck can still taste it when he hiccups. Chim and Maddie were both there and Tommy wasn’t on call this time around, all of which instantly made it infinitely better than their first attempt. It was so much fun, the hangover’s worth it.
Mostly.
Buck sighs, closing his eyes as Tommy’s fingers card through his hair. “I feel like I got hit by a truck.”
“Well, you would know,” Tommy deadpans.
Buck grins, shoving Tommy playfully. “Not hit. Crushed.”
Tommy hums. “Semantics.”
Buck’s grin is so wide he thinks it might split his face in two. He can’t help it, though. He just… he loves this. Loves Tommy. Loves that he has someone who doesn’t shy away from laughing with him about things like this, someone who doesn’t treat him with kid gloves. Someone who takes him home after a night out and puts his pajamas on when he’s too drunk to do it himself. Someone who holds him when he has the spins and kisses the spot behind his ear and murmurs “Love you,” just before sleep pulls him under. Someone who leaves water and ibuprofen on the nightstand and who runs his fingers through his hair and turns off the big light and closes the curtains for him.
He doesn’t remember falling asleep, but when he wakes up again, his head is still in Tommy’s lap, only now there’s a pillow beneath it. “Feel any better?” Tommy asks, his voice raspy and thick with sleep. Buck smiles at the thought of Tommy falling asleep beneath him.
“No,” he says honestly. The pounding in his head is unrelenting, and he swears he can smell tequila in the layer of sweat that’s cooling beneath his now-damp t-shirt. “I think I’m dying. This is what death feels like.”
He can feel Tommy’s laugh rumbling in his chest, warm and familiar. “This is a hangover in your thirties, baby.”
“Same thing,” Buck mumbles, his eyes fluttering shut as Tommy dips his head down to press a kiss to the top of his head. As he drifts back to sleep, Tommy’s quiet laugh is the last thing he hears before sleep takes him.
prompt game
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bad parents — 𐙚
dad!chris X mom!reader
summary: your parents meet your daughter for the first time and it doesn’t go very well.
warnings: crying, teen pregnancy (don’t do it wrap it up) and cussing (lowkey slightly swiftie reader)
a/n: i gave the daughter a name so that it seems more realistic yk. i also know it was supposed to be like both parents are bad but i got halfway through and realized i did it wrong 💀
my parents were never good parents. well i say my parents mainly my dad. my dad was a bitch and my mom just went along with it. my dad always yelled and argued. he always found something he disliked about me. he was never supportive of me whatsoever so when i found out i was pregnant at only 15 it did not go well.
i ended up moving in with my boyfriend chris and his family at the very beginning of my pregnancy cutting all ties with my family. that was until out daughter delilah was about two years old.
for the last three years now my mom has been begging to meet her and i’ve done everything i can to keep it from happening. i could not stand the thought of my dad around my daughter. i refused to let him treat her they way he treated me.
“mom i have told you multiple times no” i argue with my mom who is on the other line begging for me to bring delilah over. “but she’s out granddaughter” “yea no that train left when you kicked me out” i said look up to see chris walking through the door.
“anyway mom i’ve got to go bye” i say hanging up the phone sighing. “what was that about” he says setting his stuff down on the kitchen table walk over beside me. “just my mother trying to get me to let her and my dad meet delilah”
“oh im assuming you said no” “well yea my dad treated me like shit my entire life and she just let him. they kicked me out when they found out i was pregnant i am not about let them ruin her too” i say sighing and rubbing my forehead.
“yea i get it” chris says kissing my head and wrapping his arms around me. “where’s delilah?” “she’s upstairs playing. delilah honey” i say yelling for delilah.
a few seconds later we hear little footsteps coming down the stairs. “daddy!” she says running to chris as he picks her up. “hey sweetheart” he says kissing her cheek and fixing her dress. “how was filming?” i ask chris as he turns towards me.
“it was good. we filmed reading fan fiction again” “oh lord” i say chuckling. “daddy can we play barbie’s?” delilah ask tapping chris’s shoulder. “of course baby” “mommy do you want to play?” “baby i would love to but i’ve gotta make dinner” “it’s ok you can play after” she says smiling playing with the necklace on chris’ neck.
"i finally got delilah to go to sleep. i had to read her like three books" chris says walking into our shared bedroom while i sit at my vanity taking my make up off getting ready for bed. "i wish i had the energy she has" i say laughing as chris sits down on the bed looking at me through the mirror.
"you know... ive been thinking and please don't get mad at me when i say this but maybe delilah should meet your parents" he says holding eye contact with you. "what. you can't be serious" i say scoffing as i turn to face him. "ma come on they're your parents"
"no they're not. if they were my parents they wouldn't have kicked me out. they would have helped me but instead your parents got stuck doing that." i say obviously very pissed he would even suggest that.
"i know but they want to be apart of her life" "well they're about five years too late" i say turning back to face the mirror. "what about this, we let them meet her and we will see how it goes and go from there. we can always keep her away from them if they don't treat her right" he says trying to reason with you.
"you know what fine. one time but if it goes wrong im blaming you" i say turning towards him once again. he smiles as he stands up walking over to me. "thank you ma" he says and he bends down placing a soft kiss on my lips.
"hey is she ready?" chris says walking into the bathroom as i finish pulling up our daughters hair. "yep all done" i say as she stands up on the counter. she's wearing this absolutely adorable baby blue dress with little ruffles. "hi daddy" she says walking over to him throwing her arms around his neck.
"hi baby you looks so beautiful" he says placing a kiss on her temple causing her to giggle. "thank you daddy" she says with her little lisp. "and so do you ma" he says smiling down at me placing a kiss on my lips. "ewww" delilah exclaims causing both of us to laugh.
i was wearing a beautiful baby blue sundress to match delilah. "mommy where are we going again?" "we're gonna go out to eat with my parents baby" "oh ok" "what time is it babe" i say looking over at chris as he pulls out his phone.
"5:40" "ok come one we gotta go can you help her with her shoes please" i ask as he nod and i walk out the room. I grab my purse making sure i put my phone in it and zip it up.
"yall ready?" i say as chris walks into the room after putting delilah's shoes on. "yep lets go" he says as we walk out the room and out the front door. Chris opens my door then opens the back door for deliliah buckling her into her car seat.
"ok you guys ready" chris says getting into the drivers seat and turning on the car. "daddy can we play taylor" deliliah says causing a smile to spread across my face. "of course baby" chris says laughing at his daughters actions. "that my girl" i say turning towards the girl as she lets out a giggle.
"ok are you sure you want to do this" i say as i face my childhood home. "yes the real question is do you" he says grabbing my hand. "well its got to happen at somepoint" i say before turning towards my daughter in the backseat. "baby listen to me if they say anything that makes you uncomfortable you let me or your daddy know ok. we will leave whenever ok" "yes mommy"
"ok lets do this i guess" chris says turning off the car and getting out. i follow not long after him as he grabs delilah out of her seat. "hold my hand sweetheart" chris says grabbing delilahs hand to make sure she stays out of the street. chris looks over at me and can tell by my face im still not so sure about this. "ma its going to be ok" he says grabbing my chin and placing a small kiss on my lips.
i smile at him and then change my focus to our daughter. "ok come on lets get this over with" i say as we walk towards the door keeping delilah between chris and i. chris knocks on the door, my mom opening it a few seconds later. i feel my breath hitch as i haven't seen her since the very beginning of my pregancny. chris noticing my change in breath and rubs my lower back.
"y/n" my mom says moving over allowing us to walk in. "hi mom" i say as she looks me up and down. "you've grown up so much" she says pulling me into a hug catching me by surprise. “and you must be delilah" she says as she pulls away moving her attention over to the little girl.
delilah clutches onto chris leg as she looks up at my mom. "hello chris" she says looking over at chris who still had his hand in deliahs. “hey” he says as we follow them into the dining room where my dad is already sat at the table in "his spot". my dad never even looked towards us, he was so angry when i told him i was pregnant but i didn't think he would be so cold towards us.
"take a seat. i tried to make things i know kids like" my mom says chuckling as we all walk towards our seats. "thank you im sure she will eat it shes not picky" chris says pulling delilah's chair out along with mine. "let me go grab the plates ill be right back. you talk to your daughter" she says pointing at my dad causing me to roll my eyes. its sad when your mother has to tell your father to speak to you.
"y/n" he says turning his head towards me. "hi dad" "uh how are you" he says obviously not really wanting to engage in a conversation. "im great actually" "well thats good" he says right as my mom walks in with the plates "okay dig in everybody" she says handing everyone a plate. "you want a little bit of everything baby" i say looking over at the girl in between me and chris.
"yes please" she says as i add some of everything for her making sure to add more mac and cheese because that's her favorite food. "here let me cut her chicken up" chris says as i hand him the plate letting him cut up her food into smaller bites. "here sweetie" he says setting the plate in front of delilah.
"thank you mommy thank you daddy" she says gabbing her fork immediately taking a bite of the mac and cheese. "youre welcome baby" i say as chris, my mom and i make our own plates. "so how have you been y/n" my mom says looking over at me.
"ive been good thank you" "how about you chris? are you still doing youtube?" "oh uh yea my brothers and i are" he says as my dad scoffs. he always hated the idea of chris doing youtube. he always thought that wouldnt be enough to raise a kid.
i can feel my mom kick him under the table as i roll my eyes. "how is it going" my mom says returning her attention back to chris. "its going really well actually we hit 6 million not to long ago" he says smiling over at my mom. "6 million thats incredible congratulations" my mom says squeezing chris' hand. "daddys famous" deliliah says giggling looking up at him.
my mom smiles over at her as she continues to let out little giggles. "shes adorable" my mom says looking over at me. "what do you say baby" "thank you" she says shyly. "you had to tell her to say thank you?" my dad says as my head snaps towards him. "shes five" i say coldly as he rolls his eyes.
"well im just saying you we're saying thank you on your own by the time you were five" "well maybe its because i got yelled at if i didnt" "it worked didn't it" "maybe but it did show me how i will not be treating my child" i say as he rolls his eyes.
"you're doing a great job" my mom says trying to take the attention off my dad. "thank you mom. that means a lot" i say smiling over at her. "and you too chris" "thank you really" he says as she smiles at him. "hows your mom" she ask.
"shes great. shes been so helpful" he says smiling over at her. "thats great im glad she was there" "me too" he states smiling over at me. "i hope you guys don't mind me asking im just curious do you plan on having another kid" she ask looking over at me. "at some point yes we haven't really decided when though" i say responding to my mom. "i want a sister" delilah says smiling over at my mom shyly causing her to chuckle.
"yea that's been her most recent obsession. she's been begging for a sibling" chris says laughing. "mommy can i have some more mac and cheese" "you’ve gotta ask her baby" i say pointing at my mom. "may i have some?" delilah ask looking over at my mom. "of course you can" my mom says smiling over at the little girl as a smile lights up on her face.
"more really?" my dad says looking up at me. "what" i say looking over at my dad. "i told her she could have some, we have plenty" my mom says shocked he said anything. "its not that she cant have some im just shocked they arent restricting her" he says as i scoff. "shes five" chris says glaring over at my dad. "yes but not restricting her now will lead to bad habits and you don't want that" "shes a child she can have as much mac and cheese as she wants"
"but you need to keep her in line. you dont want her gaining weight. speaking of weight i dont really like that dress shes wearing. it makes her look a little big" he says not even looking up from his plate. i bite the inside if my cheek before turning my head towards chris. "take her out to the car because im about to lose my shit" i say. he picks up delilah who now has tears running down her face.
"its ok baby come one" he says walking out the door. "there you go being dramatic once again" he says rolling his. "oh what the fuck is wrong with you" i say raising my voice a little. "who the fuck do you think you are talking to a five year old like that" "ok now you’re just over reacting" "no im not. you have no right talking to my daughter like that. do you see why i kept her from you so long?" "i never wanted to meet the kid. i never wanted this life for you, i never wanted for your future to be taken from you by a dumb kid. i tried so hard to keep that boy away from you. I never liked him, he doesn't have it in him to be a good father. hes too young to know what thats like." he yells as my mom just sits there looking down.
"hes a way better father than you ever were. did i think i would be a mother so young? no but i wouldnt trade it for anything. im happy, chris is happy and most importantly my daughter is happy. he is the best thing that has ever happen to me. he the most incredible person i know and hes a incredible father." i yell standing up out of my seat.
"mom it was good seeing you thank you for having us but i just can let him talk about my kid and husband like that" "husband?" my dad say looking up at me. "yea we got married a year ago but you didnt want anything to do with me so i never told you." "well congratulations honey" my mom says as i nod at her. "thank you and thank you for having us" i say as a turn to walk towards the door.
i walk out the door to see chris standing outside the car with delilah in his arms. as i walk closer i can hear the small sobs coming from the little girl. "oh baby" i say as she looks at me. i take my thumb and wipe the tears from her cheek. "im so sorry honey" i say kissing her forehead. "you look so beautiful sweetheart" chris says as delilah lays her head on his shoulder.
"can we go home" she says in between sobs. "of course baby" i say as chris opens the door to put her in her car seat leaving a kiss on her forehead before closing the door and turning to face me. he wraps his arms around me puling close to his chest. "im sorry i made you bring her" he says as a i shake my head. "i don't want to talk about it in front of her" i say as he nods and opens the passenger side door for me.
"ok i put her to bed. she was half asleep when we got out of the car so it didnt take long" chris says walking into our bedroom to find me sitting on our bed in pajamas looking down at my phone. he sits down next to rubbing my back. "are you ok?" he says which causes me to just break down. tears start to pour down my face as a i shake my head. "oh ma im so sorry" he says as he pulls me on to his lap causing me to straddle him.
i wrap my arms around his torso burying my head into his neck. " you knew it was a bad idea and i insisted we take her anyways and i am so so sorry ma" "how could he do that" i let out trying to control my breath. "because hes evil" "i-i thought he would at least be nice to her even if he didn't like it. and then insulting you after you walked out. who does he think he is" i say letting out another sob as i raise my head up.
"we never have to see him again ok ma i promise" he says as i nod laying my head back on his shoulder. he continues to hold me there tracing shapes on my back slowly causing me to doze off. i feel him pick me up a few minutes later l feel him pick me up and lay me down on the bed. he trys to walk away but i grab his hand and groan. "ill be right back i just need to go change" he says as i let go of his hand.
not to long later i feel the bed next to me dip and chris arms wrap around me. i bury my face into his chest quickly faling back into a deep sleep. "good night ma i love you" he says before falling to sleep himself
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requested by: @chrisgetsmewet i hope you like it. this is my very first dad fic so i might be awful 😭
#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo headcanon#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo texts#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#x reader
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Only an Almost (XVI)
Chapter 16: Fare Well
Hi! Here comes a new chapter!
Okay, time to talk…
Sorry for the angst in advance…
I hope you’ll like this chapter! Please, tell me what you think!
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Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader, friends with benefits AU
Warning: No explicit smut or nsfw content, but there are sexual themes and heavy make-out sessions (it’s a friends with benefits AU, I can’t really escape it), so 18+ only!
Summary: Andrew has been in love with you for years, and yet he has never confessed his feelings. But a night out celebrating the engagement of his best friend changes everything. However, you don't seem ready to be with him just yet. You make him an offer that he can't refuse... but will certainly regret.
Word Count : 2496
Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist
This was a terrible idea.
Andrew hesitated one last time before knocking on your door.
This was a terrible idea. He was going to get his heart broken all over again. What was there to discuss anyway? You had met someone else, someone better than him… end of story.
He buried his hands in the pockets of his jacket while he waited for you to open the door. It was springtime, and yet the evening was particularly cold tonight. A clear sky above his head though, all inky and full of stars.
God, he shouldn’t have come…
Finally, the key turned in the lock, and the next second your door was opening. You welcomed him with a timid but earnest smile.
“Hi! Come in… do you want some tea?”
You didn’t wait for his answer, hurried to close the door behind him as if you were worried he would run away. He barely let out a ‘good evening’ that you were off to the kitchen, busying yourself with tea even if it was late already.
Still, he walked in silence in your kitchen, let you get away with the distraction. He waited in silence, unwilling to be the first to speak.
“Here you go,” you added as you handed him the grey mug he loved best. Two teabags. The same ritual you had performed for him hundreds, if not thousands of times…
“Thank you,” his voice was quiet and blank.
The atmosphere was heavy, suffocating, even. His heart was pounding, and Andrew didn’t have the strength to look at you. He shouldn’t have come. Being rejected once was painful enough, he didn’t need you to do it again…
“Thank you for coming tonight,” you said, hesitation making your voice quiet and small. “Do you want to sit down?” you added as you gestured towards the living room, but Andrew shook his head.
“No, I’d rather stand.”
Slowly, you nodded. You remained both standing there, under the pale light of your kitchen, your back to the sink and his to the counter open on the living room. He was still holding his tea, but he didn’t want to drink it. The heat sipping through the porcelain was a good distraction against his tight throat though.
“You… You want to eat something? I have some biscuits…”
“Y/N… thank you, but… I’d rather get this over with.”
You hummed, pulling on your sleeves until they covered your hands. Andrew noticed that you hadn’t made any tea for yourself.
“Right… We should… talk about what happened.”
“Did you go to the date? With Maggie?”
He finally looked up when you remained silent. You seemed taken aback by his question.
“Yeah… Yes, I did.”
“Did you sleep with her?”
“Andy!”
“What? We’re close enough for us to have sex, but I can’t know if you’ve found someone else?”
You shifted your weight from one foot to the other. He was getting annoyed by all this, angry even. Andrew longed for this to be over, for him to go home, get threateningly drunk, maybe smoke a joint or two to make sure he could numb the pain, and forget for a few hours that you existed.
And tomorrow he would get up, and pretend that all was fine, and he would do that again and again until he could think of you without wanting to cry…
“No, we didn’t sleep together.”
“How was the date?”
“Do you really want to know?”
“Yes, I do.”
You heaved a sigh.
“I stayed a grand total of fifteen minutes…”
He frowned at that.
“Really?”
“It felt wrong.”
You added nothing to that statement, and Andrew didn’t know what to do with it. Wrong because your date wasn’t nice? Or wrong because you wanted someone else?
“Did you see her again?”
“No… no, and I don’t think I will.”
“Why not?”
You shifted again, clearly uncomfortable.
“Look, Andy… this isn’t why I wanted to see you…”
“Really? Why, then?”
“You… you ran off. When I told you, you simply… ran off. I… I’m sorry. I should have handled this better, I… I know that I didn’t break the news in the best way. I was scared of how you would react.”
He raised an unimpressed eyebrow.
“Did you ever think that I could react well to you dumping my arse?”
“I didn’t dump you…”
“Really?”
“No, because we were not together.”
Andrew clenched his jaw, put down his untouched tea on the counter behind him. He averted his gaze, crossed his arms before his chest.
“I’m sorry, Andy. I should have handled that situation better. You… you’re important to me. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause you pain.”
God, he didn’t know if he ought to cry or laugh at that.
“I know that I should have found a better way to tell you about this. But I… I hope that we can still be friends…”
“Friends?!”
He looked up again, stared at you with his mouth hanging open.
Friends?!
“No, Y/N. We’re not going to be friends.”
“But…”
“We’ve slept together. For months, we… Friends?!”
“That was our arrangement…”
“Our arrangement was a terrible idea. And it was… it was never an arrangement for me.”
“But we discussed things…”
“I shouldn’t have accepted.”
Slowly, you nodded.
It seemed to hurt you, that he showed regrets. But how could he not regret this?
He hated you for a moment, looking sad and scared like you didn’t want to lose him. And he hated you even more because he didn’t regret it. Not really. Despite all the pain he was feeling now, despite all the sleepless nights, and how desperate he was, he still didn’t regret it. He would have given anything to spend one last night with you. He would have gone through all this pain over and over again just to kiss you one more time. He would have done it all over again, just to hold you for one tiny minute…
He was bitter as he spoke. He didn’t care whether it would hurt you or not, he was too hurt himself to care about that. He needed to let it out. For once, he needed to do what was best for him, and not for you.
“Do you know what I wanted to tell you that night?”
You shook your head in silence, waiting for him to continue. You had mimicked his posture, were leaning against your sink with your arms crossed.
“I wanted to stop seeing you like this.”
Your mouth fell open in shock.
“I wanted to tell you that I… that I wanted to stop this stupid arrangement of ours. That I… That I wanted more. That I would have waited until you were ready to date again, no matter how long that would be, to be properly with you.”
His bottom lip trembled, your form was blurred with tears, but he held them back. They shone at the corners of his eyes, making the hazel turn green, but he didn’t cry.
“And you slept with me. We had sex. And then you blurted out that you didn’t give two fucks about me, and that you wanted to date someone else… after we just had sex! Do you realise how fucked up that is?!”
It was your turn to hold back your tears, averting your eyes.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, but that wasn’t good enough.
“I thought… after everything, I thought you would say yes. I thought you felt… something for me.”
“I… I do care about you, Andy, that’s not the point…”
“Do you? Is that why you thought it was respectful to have sex with me, and wait less than five minutes to reject me?!”
You didn’t say anything. He had raised his voice, although he was trying to keep it down. It made it powerful enough to make him intimidating, but shaky too, showing how vulnerable he was behind the layers of anger.
“Why did you do that? Why the fuck did you do that?!”
“Because… because I knew we had to stop this, and… I just… I know it was selfish, but I wanted to have one last night with you.”
He narrowed his eyes at you. Because it sounded like a good answer, a tempting one. You looked vulnerable, fragile even. As if this was a confession that was revealing too much of you.
But it was just a lie…
“We didn’t have one last night. We only had sex, Y/N.”
You stared at him for a while, but you refused to answer.
“You’ve only stayed once,” he reminded you. “You’ve only stayed once, and after that, it was like… like you didn’t want to remain more than twenty minutes alone with me unless we were having sex.”
“It… it was too hard to stay.”
“Too hard?”
“It was too emotional.”
His eyebrows shot up at that.
“Because having sex with me was not emotional to you? Really?”
“It’s different, and you know it.”
“No, I don’t know.”
“Acting like a couple, with domestic stuff, it’s… it’s different to fucking.”
The way you narrowed your eyes at him, the way you seemed worried now… yeah, Andrew guessed he wasn’t too good at hiding how much your words were hurting.
“Fucking… that’s all there was between us to you? That’s all I was to you?”
“That’s not what I meant...”
“That’s exactly what you meant! Christ! Are you telling me that you were just using me for sex all this time?! Why the fuck would you act like that with me if that was just about fucking, huh?! When we were… Jesus… when you…”
His voice broke, and he blinked tears away, but it wasn’t enough this time, he had to brush them off with the back of his hand.
“This is more complicated than that.”
“What’s complicated?”
“I can’t be with you, Andy. So… it was necessary to keep a certain distance, so we could still save our friendship…”
“Well, we didn’t save shit.”
“God, Andrew, I… I know that I’ve handled telling you about that stupid date badly… terribly even! But us not catching feelings was the plan all along! Don’t blame this on me!”
“So, you were just fucking me, then? All this time? There was nothing more than that?”
“Andy…”
“No! No, you answer me now! What the fuck, Y/N?! Are you really saying that I’ve been hallucinating all this time?! Because I thought… I thought you felt something… When we were lying in bed together, when we were…”
“Andy, you don’t understand.”
“No, you’re right! I don’t understand! We’ve slept together for months, several times a week, while spending our days together… we’ve been friends for years, and… and you didn’t feel anything when we were having sex? Nothing at all? Like… How could you feel nothing at all?”
“We agreed…”
“Fuck this agreement!” Andrew roared, and you visibly shook, his deep voice booming through the room. You had never heard him shout so loudly at anyone before. “Fuck your stupid rules! Fuck all this shit! How could you do this to me? How could you have sex with me and feel nothing! It felt…”
His voice broke, a tear rolled down his cheek, disappeared in his beard, caught a tiny speck of light before fading.
“It felt like it wasn’t just about pleasure. Like you were… like you… like I wasn’t just…”
He heaved a sigh, and all of a sudden he didn’t seem so tall, so intimidating. All of sudden, he was vulnerable and fragile and bent under a weight he couldn’t carry.
“God, Y/N… How could you do this to me?”
A pregnant pause stumbled across the space between your two bodies. It seemed an uncrossable chasm, a gap you couldn’t conquer anymore.
“I’m sorry, Andy… but you can’t put the blame only on me. You agreed to this. Everything was clear, we’ve discussed things…”
“But when we had sex…”
“Andy…”
“When we had sex, did you not feel anything? Something? Just… something… And what about after that? When we were holding onto each other? That morning when we had breakfast together…?”
You were blinking tears away, your arms tight around your own frame, fleeing him. Your body language was obvious, you were refusing to face the truth, or to admit it, at the very least.
“Why are you asking me this, why is it so important?”
“You truly don’t know the answer to that?”
“I don’t.”
“You fucking idiot...”
“Why would you have agreed to do this if that was not what you wanted? If you didn’t want me?”
“Didn’t want you?! Y/N… this is literally the opposite of what I’m saying!”
“I don’t understand!” you raised your voice too this time, following his lead. “We’ve discussed things! We agreed! You said you wanted me!”
“Of course, I wanted you!”
“Then why are you mad?”
“BECAUSE I WANT MORE!”
“WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY THAT?!”
“BECAUSE YOU WOULD HAVE LEFT! BECAUSE YOU DON’T…”
His voice cracked again, he let out a frustrated growl against himself and his bloody feelings that were bubbling all the way to the surface to overcome him and drown him in silence…
“WHAT… NEXT YOU’LL TELL ME YOU LOVE ME…”
“OF COURSE I DO!”
There it was, out in the open. He saw you freezing into place, eyes growing round. And he knew he had fucked up, but what was there left to destroy anyway? He couldn’t be just your friend anymore… he was losing you tonight, no matter what.
“I love you,” Andrew finally let out the words he had kept hidden for so long, they tasted sour in his mouth, and yet a weight was lifted from his chest. “I fucking love you. Of course, I love you. How could you not notice? I was always in love with you. And it was never just sex for me. It was always about making love to you. Did you… have you never made love to me? Not once? Was it just fucking? Really?”
You blinked at him. You seemed stunned in stillness, unable to move or do anything but stare at him with round eyes and parted lips. Andrew thought he knew how to understand your silence. He hated you for it. Despite all his love, while he held your blank gaze with his searching one, he hated you.
“Alright. Very well.”
He turned away, and didn’t look back as he crossed your home to the door.
“Don’t call me again, Y/N. I don’t want to hear about you ever again.” And then he was out in the street, in your driveway, into his car, driving, turning off the engines, closing the door of his car, opening his front door and stepping into his home, taking off his shoes and jacket, walking upstairs and into his bathroom and entering the shower with his clothes on. And when the cold water hit his face he finally allowed himself to let out a shout.
#andrew hozier byrne#hozier#the hoziest#hozier x reader#hozier x you#hozier x y/n#hozier x fem!reader#hozier fanfiction#hozier fanfic#hozier series#hozier imagine#fanfiction#fanfic#series#writing
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I'm thinking. I'm thinking. it would be cool if all of my dislike and criticism of Deku's actions in this final war arc (and maybe before) was actually supposed to be the intended feeling. That he was supposed to be read as an arrogant little shit with no plan and failed at saving Shigaraki all along. Saving Shigaraki was his ego talking - him wanting to save that Crying Child, because it makes him feel good to be a Hero... in the easiest way possible. He pried open Shigaraki's lid with no regard for how questionable such an act is. He never understood Shigaraki at all.
Deku has the potential to be a great hero. When Yoichi and Kudou talked about his great qualities, it was because they can sense the seed of it at his heart. But it hadn't been cultivated. He does have a drive to save, but it was too early to call it that. He does believe everyone has the same heart, but he hasn't actually come to that conclusion himself. That's why they needed to speak about his own feelings for him. He's 16 years old and thrown into a war. How can anyone have proper development and meta-cognition in such a scenario?
I'm thinking. It was Stain who spared Shigaraki and told him he sensed the seed of a warped conviction inside of him, when all readers saw at the time was an erratic manchild. But Stain was right. Shigaraki's conviction grew and developed and became such a noble desire, but 'twisted' - A Hero, but for the Villains.
Deku just had the high of his life. What if he's about to enter the lowest? He failed to save someone. Society is getting rebuilt and where it goes from now on is absolutely crucial. He's "quirkless" again - that personality is gone so who is he now?
I'm thinking. There's a reason why his agreement with Overhaul hasn't been resolved yet. I'm thinking Compress and his vigilante ancestor's dream of reform can't be just ditched like that. I'm thinking how Deku can fail so incredibly at not realizing why Shigaraki stayed the leader of the League all through the end, and how Shigaraki tells him 'ganbare'.
I'm thinking about Shigaraki, and how he's a fair guy. But he's a Villain. He sensed Deku's intention, understood just how sincere it was, and can respect that. And the guy did just helped heal his childhood trauma. And thus, he's holding Deku responsible for making sure his destruction is permanent, and leaves with a semi-sardonic 'do your best'. I think that's actually just like him.
I'm thinking about Uraraka and Shouto getting two sad looking panels in this semi-celebratory chapter where All Might calls Bakugou and Deku the greatest Heroes. They were the two who actually considered the suffering their Villain went through. They acknowledged the whole of their Villain, their agency and desires, and they supposedly saved them. But there's no celebration for them. Maybe it's because they've seen the truth and can't be unaffected.
I'm thinking about Spinner, who saved Deku from a teammate at the camp raid because he believed in Stain who believed in Deku to be a true Hero. And then Spinner became Shigaraki's most devoted friend and Shigaraki left a message to him, via Deku.
I'm thinking maybe Horikoshi got out all the battle shonen stuff they wanted out of him and now he can do his own thing. He sucks at fight scenes and great at character writing and darker material.
The issue to this thinking is that this hope is sooooo dangerous. I had a similar thought that Endeavor, after the Touya reveal, was going to get some brutal atonement. I thought post-Jaku would be a really cool chance to examine the issues of Hero Society, and that Tartarus being recognized as a human-rights violations would end up somewhere. I loved what I felt was the subtly realistic built-up of the Heteromorph arc, and I still love it, but then it ended up the way it did. I thought AFO's tragic backstory getting revealed could be awesome. I've clowned myself again and again. I guess this is the latest clowning.
And none of this actually saves Shigaraki or brings him back. Rather, his death and last words is pretty much required for this brutal realization and haunting on Deku and the story.
Worse, this all has the potential to make me think Deku is interesting. What am I doing to myself. 🤡
#nalslastworkingbraincell#I'm not even guaranteed to get Shigaraki back with this#what the fuck am I doing#and it makes the League runs off to be vigilantes ending i want much less possible#shattering my dreams
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The best punishment for you.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅It's always you who makes his life a little bit more harder. always on his room and disturb him while practicing a spell. Now he will make you hard to even walk. (AFAB x Dom Solomon)
NSFW! minors scroll down ⊹
rough sex, bruises mentioned, beg/whine/tears
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reblogs, likes are appreciated! If you see any grammar mistakes, feel free to tell me <3
Mc is such a brat! Always nagging on Solomon, she would simply take one or two herbs that Solomon needs to make a curse or potions. And sometimes she would even hide it somewhere just to see his reaction. Ugh! a bad girl needs to be put in her place.
Today, just like always she would come around to visit Solomon and he knew for sure that she would tease him. sometimes he wonders why he doesn't just fuck her so she learn her lesson.
"I bought some apples for a curse I want to try, please don't eat them," Solomon warned you because he knew for sure that you would do something to those apples.
"yeah alright, I won't!" you replied to Solomon while rolling your eyes to the side, even snickering at him.
"I can make you a meal if you want, just don't eat them okay?" offering with a smile at you.
yeah no... you would rather be dead than eat his food. although he is kind enough to offer you just can't risk it.
He had left the room before you could even reply to him, how is he so fast?..and isn't that sort of rude?... While observing the room to see what kind of prank you can pull off, you can't stop but look at the apples he specifically told you not to eat. But.. it looks so delicious! It's like.. those apples want you to eat them, are they challenging you?.. Whatever, a few won't hurt right?
You ate 2 of them now and were about to grab another one but suddenly, at a rapid speed, a hand appeared! Holding you tight. The action was so quick too! how could somebody possibly do that?
"What did I say? you really need a punishment." it's Solomon! what are you gonna do now? he definitely saw you eating his apples but I'm sure his punishment is not that bad right? maybe a little lecture or something?
And before you knew it, you are now on his bed. Your back was facing his stomach, Both of your hands was pinned against his bed by his hand, and the other was holding your cheeks. You knew you were in big trouble, breathing heavily because you are nervous and he could sense that.
He keeps asking you questions and sometimes you can't help but lie. And every time you lie, he slaps your ass. it's like he knew it. And every time he did it, you can't help but let a soft moan. how did you get turned on by this..?
"Alright. You really need a punishment."
And the punishment..? Well. He fucked you relentlessly. Gosh, his dick was so huge for a human you wonder if he is really a human. oh! your whining because you can't take it anymore? He fucked you faster and faster until you cry out loud, even stuttering his name but.. too bad he could care less. Tears and mascara were running down your face and you are a total mess.
Every time you are close, he would simply stop doing anything. Watching you beg him to fuck you again but he wouldn't.. aw :( how sad. And if you try to take matters into your own hands by pleasure yourself, he would simply pin your hands above you, leaving some little bruises on your hand because of how strong he is. So you can't do anything but beg and whine at him.
He flipped you over and now you are facing face to face but of course, he's on top of you. The view is really hot so you can't complain. His white hair was messy and his shirt was nowhere to be found. You wish you could touch him, feeling his hot body and maybe kiss him all over but he is still, pinning you down to the bed. that's unfortunate.
"Be a good girl and I'll let you go." He was taunting you. Looking directly into your eyes.
"i-i am a good girl! please! just fuck me!"This is torture! But he likes seeing this state of you.
"Good." saying that before kissing you. Fuck his lips are so soft! So soft that you don't want to let go. And while he was kissing you, he push his cock inside. As a response, your cunt tightens. That was not on purpose! he did that so suddenly :(
"so tight.. you really want me hm?" whispering next to your ear. It sends chills down your spine. His breath was sort of warm and his voice.. Really soft but good enough to turn you on. Are you really that easy to get turned on or is it because he's just hot?
A few minutes later, You go back begging him to go slower but he won't. Instead of slowing down, he Sucked on your nipple and gently plays with the other one, making your back arch and your eyes rolled.
"i-im close.. please let m-me this time! I'll be a g-good I promise..!"
"do it for me, darling," he demanded. and the next thing you knew, you were making a mess on his bed. Moaning his name while you came as your legs shake from the pleasure. His eyes widened by the view, you look so fucking cute when you moan his name while coming! He gently brushed your hair from your face and then proceeded to kiss your lips and your cheeks.
"Good girl, but be ready because this is just the start." kissing your stomach as he told you that. Gosh, why didn't he say it earlier?! You could at least be prepared..I wonder if you can even walk tomorrow! I mean...a bad girl needs to learn her lessons anyway.
#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me shall we date#obey me smut#om smut#obey me solomon#smut#obey me solomon smut#solomon x reader#solomon x mc#solomon x you#obey me female mc#obey me mc#female reader#solomon obey me#solomon om#om x reader#obey me x reader#obey me x mc#obey me x you#obey me x y/n#smutty fanfiction
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I'm gonna give you all (and at the same time, write It all down for my future self) an inside of how my writing process works feat. ADHD and sponsored by the autistic hyperfixation of the moment
*insert Professor Layton puzzle music*
Picture the #daddy Odysseus AU/Astyanax lives, now think about the timeline, how does that work? Allow me to bring up the following points/establish some sort of timeline:
-The kid must be ten years old by the time Odysseus reach Ithaca or the math won't be mathing and we can't have that
-This whole scenario must be as much Canon Compliant as possible. "But Morgan, the Odyssey has many adaptations!" Well my fellow Tumblr users, that's why we are sticking to Epic: The Musical; that, greek mythology and the power of fanfic make a dangerous yet powerful combination. And memes, a lot of memes.
-Keep in mind Zeus wants Astyanax dead because "it's the will of the gods", aka I'm inmortal and bored and it's way more dramatic this way
-Poseidon wants him dead because Zeus wants him dead. Odysseus, dude, how do you dare to defy a god's orders by keeping a baby alive???
-So the father and son duo has pissed off two major gods, Eurylochus is having an aneurism, Polited welcomes the kid with Open Arms (evil laugh)
-The musical goes as we know but with a toddler, chaos guys, chaos everywhere, so much things to write...
-My brain keeps telling me Astyanax starts teething by the time they leave the island in the sky, so not only have Odysseus to keep an eyes on the bag-that-does-not-contain-treasure he also is kept awake by a crying baby
-Tiresias is quite surprised that Odysseus keep the kid but this is greek mythology and at this point, in John Mulaney's wise words, this may as well happen.
-Little Astyanax can't not hold a sword because it's way too heavy for him, but the Odyssey is dangerous so let's give him a KNIFE and a BOW
-Also he's sassy, like, really sassy
-Odysseus is doing what he can, but lmao, try to raised someone in the middle of the Odyssey
-Let's pepper in some beautiful moments of paternal love because that's why we are here
-Odysseus has the mission to raise this kid with the perfect balanced of the Ruthlessness nad Open Arms philosophies, which is complicated because he is busy dealing with crysis after crysis and it's also hypocrital of him, he's way more ruthless with every day it passes.
-To maximize ✨DRAMA✨, Astyanax must learn about what happened in Troy and who he is (because guys, this is greek mythology, let's make it dramatic)
-Astyanax's opinion of the gods is quite cynic (can't blame him *cough cough* Zeus *cough cough*), but he still likes a few
-Because of the point above, this smol boy filled with rage and raised by Odysseus (dangerous combination) it's going to have a certified teenage rebellion and flee away in the middle of the night™ after facing Scylla and right before Mutiny and Thunder Bringer. This way, he can have a yelling match with his father figure, and Odysseus will face his crew alone etc
-I'm still working out in the how, but Astyanax will go back to Circe's island, and Circe will give out some really good advice and a power up, maybe even Hermes would stir up the pot a bit because damm, this shit is hilarious may as well fuck it all up a bit more.
-Astyanax reunites with Odysseus while he is fighting Charybdis, beautiful father and son moment blah blah blah, Astyanax is still salty (cuz they are in the middle of the sea hehe) but the time away has allowed him to rethink stuff. He is also a little shit and always has been so expect a lot of jokes and dark humour about Troy (coping mechanisms and all that). Odysseus could barely handle his sarcasm before, now he has no chance, he rather fight Poseidon blindfolded.
-Talking about Mr Why Did You Blind My Son, they faced him together.
-As the chaotic little shit he is, Astyanax assists Telemachus in his fight against the suitors. Telemachus does not know who this feral kid is but this is not the moment to ask questions.
-Athena loves the little shit, much to her surprised.
-Angst with Happy Ending because of the power of fanfic and headcanons
-Everything else after this point is slice of life feat. comedy
-Odysseus and Athena reconcialiation of we riot feat. Telemachus' face when he realizes who his friend was.
-Maybe a young man Astyanax decides to reclaim his throne helped by Telemachus and backed up by Ithaca?
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Falling Forever With You~
Fandom: Hazbin Hotel
Pairing: Alastor x Fem! Owl Hybrid! Reader
Summary: Alastor invited you to meet him at the library after your performance, but what could he possible want from you?
Continuation from part one of 'Falling Forever'
Part 1
Warnings: No one
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Your heart hammered against your rib cage as you slowly walked down the stage.
The crowd clapped and cheered for you both but you didn't really noticed it because your gaze was looking everywhere to find Alastor.
Charlie started babbling about how amazing it is to welcome everyone here as you sneaked between the tables only to find the radio demon looking around. Your eyes met his and his smile only grew wider as he turned around swiftly and looked behind his back for a last time before disappearing in the dark hallway.
You could feel your hands shaking as you started walking to follow him as someone grabbed you by the wrist.
"Whoa wait wait what are you doing there sweetcheeks?"
You looked at Angel who's gaze was incredible worried.
"Nothing...Al just wanted to talk with me about something."
You said innocent and smiled awkwardly as he only raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah I'm totally sure that he just wants to talk with you..."
You sighed. He doesn't understand it.
"Angel, I know you just want to protect me from this. But I- well, you know how it is to be in love with someone. And this one sided thing makes me sick. I just-"
You stopped and took in a sharp breath.
"I know that he's probably not feeling the same as I do. And maybe you're right and he's just toying with me. But I want to hear it from him directly. I want him to say it in my face that he don't feel the same, so I can't cut the rope finally."
Angel looked at you sadly and pulled you into a hug.
"Aww man my poor friend is really in love. Shit stop it."
You let out a tired chuckle.
"I wish that would be so easy..."
You looked up at him.
"Or that it would be obvious like the thing going on between you and Husk."
His cheeks turned more reddish than before as he shushed you.
"Yeah yeah okay. Just...promise me you won't agree on a deal with him alright?"
His condition shocked you.
"A deal? With him..."
Would he really be so brash to come up with a deal so that he could use you as his toy forever?
The thought of him being so cruel and heartless when he's been so gentle with you all the time, made your heart hurt a bit more than before.
"Yes, just promise me that. I can't save your lovey-dovey ass- but I can tell you how stupid you are when you end up crying because I was right. But I can't save you from a deal with him. The least I want for you is to be trapped like I am."
Your shoulder dropped and you gave him a crooked smile.
"I promise. No deals, and no..."
You stopped.
"...tears."
You continued and held out your pinky for him to clink in. He smiled and bonded his with yours.
"Good. Now go on- don't let him wait for too long."
You nodded and looked above your shoulder one more time before you were gone, finding Alastor.
The library was empty. Of course. You often go here just to read the old books Charlie has somehow managed to get and read here for hours. Almost always Alastor comes by 'suddenly' like he said and sat down with you to chat or read together. You smiled at the thought of the endless nights you two sat on the carpet and read an old novel he liked, or an old Romance book you were too shy to admit that you liked this kind of stuff.
He never complained, nor he laughed at you for liking something so cloud headed. He just gave you his soft smile and asked you why you liked this scene so much, why you adore the way the story was written and while you explained it to him, he never broke eye contact. Sometimes his fingers wanders extremely close to yours, so you could feel his nails brushing against your fingertips.
You walked further until you could hear a soft melody coming from one of the rooms. The library.
You were a bit surprised because it was a song unlikely for him. You once heard it from your old radio he gifted you, and he just stood there for a moment and listened to it. It had a tune more from his time so less modern, he had to like it somehow. He must heard you singing along with it and now he's playing it maybe for you to calm down.
It just effected you to be more nervous to be honest.
You stopped before the two large doors and raised your hand to open it. Your wings flutter nervously and your tail spread like a fan behind you.
Okay, it's alright. It's alright you got this.
You thought to yourself before you knocked against the door, didn't waited for an invitation and stood there between the angles.
He sat there, on the carpet, on his spot where he's always sitting. He shifted his weight on his left arm and his head turned around to look at you. His eyes were half lidded, the red color of his lids were shimmering like blood in the small fireplace near the bookshelf.
"I must say, I was a bit worried that I might have scared you away with my sudden offer sweetheart..."
He started and only then you realized that you were holding your breath the entire time.
"Why would I?"
You asked and smiled at him forceful. You already know how this will turn out.
"You are right. You never let me down. Just like a few minutes before..."
He gestured you to sit next to him, so you slowly walked to your spot and plopped down.
"Yes...uhm so if- if that's the reason why I should come, I'm incredibly sorry really- I just thought it was a good idea-"
He stopped you with his finger against your lips. You almost choked on your words as you just stared at him blankly.
He titled his head and took a moment to admire you as he shifted his hand and grabbed your chin.
"Oh no sweetheart, I indeed trust you. And it was an exiting memory for me."
He said and his smile softened.
"A-and what is the reason you got me here then?"
He didn’t answered you instant, he took his time to shift his head to the other side, incredible close suddenly, as his eyes found it’s way to your lips.
“I wanted to ask you something dearest. And I might already know the answer…”
Enough.
You blinked two times before shifting backwards to loosen his grip.
“Oh...you- you do.”
You avoided eye contact as he just raised an eyebrow at you.
“What is the matter sweetheart? I didn’t even start to-”
“Just stop.”
Silence is filling the room and left you feeling hopeless. Tears starts to blurry your view as you tried your hardest to hold the tears from falling. Angel was right. He was just toying with you. He must be.
“(Y/N)?”
Oh how you hated it. How you hated the way your name rolls over his tongue, or how his gaze seems to read through your soul with an ease when you try your hardest to keep it all hidden.
“When you already know the answer why do you want me to say it?”
You turned your head, still in the position with him bending forward to you. He didn’t care to move so you just sat there awkwardly as well.
As he didn’t gave you an answer you sighed.
“I know that you don’t feel the same about me like I do about you. And I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. But please, for god’s sake don’t toy with me. You can make fun of me or tease me I don’t care- but just don’t pretend to feel the same when it’s the opposite.”
You fixated a spot near the fireplace and felt your cheeks burn up. God this was horrible, so horrible. You should have known it from the beginning. Angel was right. He kept his act just to use you for his own good. What would have happened if you would have played along?
You didn’t finished your thoughts as Alastor once again grabbed your hand and lead it right to his chest.
Surprised you looked back at him, his eyes now in a sad kind of way.
“Oh sugar, how did I managed to let you feel this way about me?”
His gaze never left yours, his hand still on yours on his chest. You could feel his heart through the silk of his coat hammering.
“I might be cruel to everyone else, but never to you. I have control over many things but not over this. You are the first person I ever felt this strange attachment, and I must admit that I hated it at first.”
He looked down at your lips for a brief second before looking right up again, his other hand slowly raising and hovering near your cheek for you to choose.
“If I would wanted to play with you I would already had you under my hands. But you darling are different. I never loved anyone ever before in this way and it frightens me till this point. I can’t afford myself a weakness like this. To always have an eye to the only precious thing I never want to lose. To have something to lose. But you seem to be worth starting wars for.”
He paused as his expression showed a sprinkle of surprise for letting slipping the words out. You just stared at him unsure. Is he really saying the truth?
He seemed to guess your thoughts because he pressed your hand closer to his chest.
“I don’t have control over this. And I have control over everything about me.”
His words let your heart melt and you could feel the heat rushing right up to your cheeks. Everything felt so real, his words his actions as well. You wanted to believe him so bad but something pulled you away from it. It was the pure angst you felt.
His hand still hovering over your cheek as you slowly leaned your head against it, your hand stabilized his.
“I want to believe you so bad Al...really but-”
“Please give me a chance.”
Your eyes widened. He rarely took this word into his mouth, nor he ever seemed to beg for something. You searched for anything in his eyes to tell you that he’s lying, that everyone was right and you just should move on, but you couldn’t find anything. You just sighed, shaking.
“Promise me.”
You said, and shifted your weight forward, he leaning back slowly but still incredible near to you.
Your wings flutter and starting to shake as well.
“Promise me you won’t play with me.”
It took you by surprise as he grabbed your face with both hands for you to look directly into his beautiful crimson eyes.
“Never. Satan himself should come and get me then if I ever even think of it. I-”
He paused.
“love you.”
The static of his voice was completely lost, what brought you to shiver. You loved his voice but without the static filter it drove you completely insane.
“I love you too. But I guess you already know this right?”
His smile grew wider.
“I had some theories. But I wasn’t completely sure…”
He leaned his forehead against yours.
This could be a horrible idea. It could be the end of you. Angel would kill you again. But when it was so wrong like everyone told you, why does it feels so right?
“Liar.”
He chuckled.
“Just for the others….”
His mouth now close to your ear.
“May I?”
He looked at your lips, his face just inches away from yours.
“Yes.”
Not even a second later he took your face once again and pressed his lips against yours. Your heart skipped a beat as you shyly grabbed his collar. The kiss deepened as his claws ran through your hair and brought you shivers down your spine, as you got braver and also took his face in your hands.
He asked for permission with the tip of his tongue and you opened your mouth for him.
It couldn’t be possible wrong when you feel like you’re in heaven when you really are in hell.
Alastor’s hands wandering over your back, pressing you against him, as you two shifted and lost your balance and dropped backwards on the carpet.
You two chuckled like teenagers on their first make out session and you could feel your whole body burning.
He’s now hovering over you, silently admiring you.
“Just look at you. What did I done right in my life to be blessed with someone like you?”
You just playfully rolled your eyes.
“Yeah right…”
“Hm what is this?”
He came closer to you, your chests touching.
“Not used to recieve compliments?”
He brushed over your lips with his claw.
“Whoever made you feel this insecure- I will find him.”
His expression changed to his manic side for a second before getting soft again. Or no, it was something different. His gaze was full of desire, of longing.
“You can’t imagine how often I imagined this…”
His lips brushed against yours.
The thought of him imagine scenarios of you and him kissing or something else made you shake for excitement.
“Oh so you daydream about me?”
You teased, your wings spreading wide and tickling his arms.
“Oh not only on the daytime…”
He brushed a feather of your right wing slowly as you started to make a noise.
His smile grew wider.
“My little songbird...”
He continued to brush his claws through your feathers as you grabbed him by his coat and pulled him towards you, his body now pressed against yours once more, he laying on top of you.
“Stop teasing me, or I might go on stage once again to escape you.”
He titled his head.
“Hmm that would be unfortunate. Not when you look at me with those eyes…”
He took one of your feathers between his fingers, rubbing it.
“...not when you look like an Angel right now.”
He looked back at you and his lips brushed over yours again. As the kiss deepened you bit his lower lip a bit what caused him to squeeze. You smiled against the kiss as he pulled apart a few inches.
“Rude. I guess you don’t know the outcome for getting into trouble hm?”
He licked the corner of your mouth with the tip of his tongue only for connecting your lips once again. His hands tracing over your hips now, slowly finding it’s way to your legs.
Your whole body heated up by the sudden intimate touch of him when you were so used to reserved ones. A hand on your shoulder, your back, your head even. The most intimate thing he ever done was to place his hand on your lower back or on your chin. This is new.
But it felt so good.
Your moment was over as soon as you heard steps coming from the hallway. You immediately stopped, and Alastor looked right up. His hair all messy because of your grip, his smile showed now teeths as he looked back at you.
“I-I think it’s Angel. He wants to make sure that everything is alright…”
You said and watched the door, ready for the embarrassment of the evening as you heard a chuckle coming from him.
“Oh how badly I want to show off with you, sugar. But I guess this will have to wait a bit.”
“Al-”
“You started as the door opened and you closed your eyes as you could hear him snap his fingers and the floor under you two began to shift in an instant.
A few seconds later you found yourself in Alastor’s room.
You were lying on the carpet on the side of his room with two armchairs. He shifted his weight from you and pulled you with him.
“I really wanted to show you off darling…”
His smile changed into a lustful grin.
“...but I guess I am a bit selfish tonight.”
You smiled and got up, close to his face of a sudden.
“That’s okay I guess. But I think we should go back to the others. They must be waiting for us.”
You teased and got up, leaving him alone on the floor.
You didn’t came much forward because he swiftly got up and swirled you around like you would be dancing.
“They had their act sweetheart. The other one is not meant for them to see…”
You couldn’t hide your smile, which he found adorebal. You were so sweet, so innocent. How a soul like you could carry their heart on their sleeve and not already be used by some filthy, disrespectful demon. He knew that he had gotten himself something to be shred apart, something that could be taken away from him. But somehow he doesn’t find it so terrible anymore. Maybe the people were right. When you find something to live with, you will be able to take this burden with you. The candle which you will always be afraid it will be blown out by something or someone. He is aware of that and it scared him more than anything ever in his life or afterlife. But he’s willing to try it. You accepted him as he was, with all of his being. As you came to the hotel, you weren’t afraid of him. The opposite, you always searched for him even when he really tried his best to test you. But you were never afraid, never saw the monster he is and ever was, not being able to sense the danger coming from him. It didn’t changed as you heard all the story’s about him, story’s which were right. You didn’t cared.
You never do.
You give everyone a chance.
Even him.
“Can I ask you something dear?”
He asked, looking directly in your eyes. Your expression immediately became serious.
“Yes. Of course. Is everything alright?”
You titled your head, a sudden wave of sadness rolling over your beautiful face, and it almost brought him to his knees as he heard the words from you.
“Do you changed your mind?”
“W-what? No, never darling!”
He said quickly, and grabbed your hands in his.
“It has nothing to do with you. It has something to do with me…”
You listened, still a worried expression.
“Then what is it?”
You asked finally.
“I know it seems a bit strange for you. I bet so. But, why do you love me? You can’t accept a monster…”
He started but you held his cheeks in an instant.
“Hey. Why would you say that?”
“Because it’s true. I did nothing good up there. And here neither. The people are scared of me, and I would shred them apart in an instan. The residents in here aren’t very fond of me. You should hate me for the things I did, and you should not love me. Your soul is far too pure to love a filthy like mine…”
It broke your heart to hear this from him. He never showed any kinds of weakness and now he’s opening himself up in front of you.
Your shoulders dropped and you pulled him closer to you.
“There is nothing that I don’t love about you. You did many things but- I don’t know. I couldn’t love someone who wouldn’t misbehave. And you could tell me very terrible thing you ever did and I would love you anyway.”
You traced your fingers through his hair, and you could feel how he stiffened under your touch. You caressing his head up to his ears and he slowly relaxed a bit.
“Oh darling...how?”
He leaned into your touch.
“I can’t help it. I don’t know why, but I can count so many things that I love about you.”
You smiled and came closer with your face.
“Your beautiful voice for example. Or your charming way to talk or act. You always listen to everything I say, and you calm me down when the whole hell is falling apart. You hold me to the ground when I lose track and you managed to get me all flustered when I’m around you. So…”
You gave him a feather like kiss on the cheek.
“I guess this is a good start for loving you, hm?”
He chuckled and leaned his forehead against yours.
How blessed I am for finding you sugar.”
“I never thought that-”
You stopped. Was it really right to ask him again? Maybe you did a huge mistake for accepting his ‘love’.
“Thought what?”
He pulled apart a bit to look you in the eyes.
“That you love me.”
You gave him a crooked smile as you loose your grip on him.
“...I am everything you don’t like. I come from a modern time, I cry a lot and show my feelings open for anyone to use against me. I’m weak like you would say. That we are friends was already a huge surprise, and now you love me? I-It just feels so surreal.”
You looked at him standing in front of you, taking a step forward.
“Sweetheart, don’t you see? You make me act like a child with their first love. I never done this before, and I know that I now have something to protect from this hell. But I am ready to risk it all.”
He stepped closer and grabbed your hand once again. His smile softened as he buried his nose in the crock of your neck.
“You wear your heart on your sleeve darling. And I would despise it by any other, but you made something with me. And I love it.”
Your scent made him almost go insane, and how your body is incredible hot against his. Or was it
him all along? It doesn’t matter. The sudden urge to pull you even closer to him and tangle himself around you is so strong it made his heart race.
“Well…”
You sniffed, he looked up surprised.
“I guess I have to believe you.”
“Oh sweetheart no more tears.”
He gently wiped the tears off your face.
“Sorry…”
You laughed and tried to blink the rest away.
“Don’t be.”
His expression got serious suddenly as he leaned closer to you and gave you a light kiss on your bottom lip.
“I will tear the whole hell apart, if anyone ever tries to take away your smile. Sugar.”
Your eyes lidded like his as you smiled warmly.
“I don’t want you to get into any trouble-”
“Shush now sweetheart…”
He bit your lower lip gently as he talked against your lips, his hot breath tickling your chin.
“...everything for you.”
The kiss you two shared got more passionate and slow, without the need to lead to something further. It was just you two in this moment, the music from the lobby just a quiet background noise. His smell made your head fizzy and you could feel your heart beating fast against his as your bodies were pressed against another. It all felt too realistic for a dream. You were afraid everything would be gone the second you opened your eyes again. That you would be lying in bed and imagined yourself everything up, but it never happened. He looked at you with half closed eyes, while touching every inch of your skin with a gentleness you would have never expected from him. How can he be cruel and yet so gentle?
It doesn’t matter to you anymore. The only thing you hoped is that his feelings would never change.
You were pulled apart by the sudden chuckle of his.
You looked surprised as he swirled you around, your wings spreading apart so you were hovering in the air, pulling him off his feet for a brief second.
“What was that for?”
You laughed breathlessly.
He looked confused, his eyebrow’s told it. His smile was softer on the edges, his real one.
“I don’t know...sudden burst of joy.”
He rubbed his hair like a little boy, what brought you to laugh again. You pulled him close to you again and started to clap with your wings. You took him with you just a few inches above the ground, but it was enough for you both to giggle like the kids you were deep down.
He never thought he would feel something like this. But with every second he enjoyed it more than anything in his past live.
You were his first and last. That’s for sure.
~~~~~~~~~
Part two is finally out! I hope you like it you all :)
Tagging my favorite person again @fraugwinska ♥
#hazbin hotel#fanfiction#hazbin alastor#alastor x reader#alastor#penelope write's#alastor x you#hazbin x reader#hazbin x you
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lost in love songs.
han taesan x reader
a short, three part, friends to lovers story.
ੈ✩‧₊ hidden love unfolds when taesan's ipod nano accidentally ends up in the hands of his best-friend, yn. a certain playlist catches her eyes, revealing the true feelings kept within the depths of the boy's heart.
part two: about a girl.
reader goes through an overwhelming amount of emotions (shes crying 😿), some cuss words, myung jaehyun (reader's older brother) comforts her <3 lowercase intended, excuse any spelling mistakes / grammatical errors! enjoy :3
wc: 2,009
masterlist 𖦹 part one 𖦹 part three
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖
"damn, can't believe that dork writes songs about my loser sister…i say we give it a little listen and-"
jaehyun's words are interrupted, "get out of my room" yn says sternly, a finger pointing out the opened door and her face dead serious. her brother rolls his eyes, "whatever, i'll leave you to it i guess. weirdo…maybe you two are meant for each other" the girl flips him off, climbing off of her bed to forcefully push her annoying sibling out the door, slamming it shut behind him. she sighs, turning back around and staring intently at the silver device that remained on her white bed-sheets. her stomach hurts as she sits down beside it, her heart pounding straight out of her chest, though she doesn't know why. yn takes a deep breath as she holds her friend's ipod in her hands, the size of it unfamiliar to the girl who was so used to her larger phone. the wired earphones were tangled and grey from how worn out it was, she hesitates for a moment, wondering if it were really a good idea to be listening to the song her friend made a point to keep hidden from her. but it was right there, staring at her with her name written on it, literally. yn scoots, her back making complete contact with her pillows, a fluffy cloud-shaped plush toy sandwiched between her chest and her knees. she sticks an earphone into her left ear, beginning to do the same on the other side when the ping of her phone stops her. turning over to the device, she blinks slowly at the contact name on her screen.
han taesan.
she watches from afar as countless texts and a few missed calls came in, her arm reaching out to grab her phone. yn contemplates for a moment, his urgent warnings forming a sense of hesitance as she falls into a dilemma. once again, she sighs, turning her phone on do not disturb, ignoring the guy's begs and pleas before she averts her attention back to the ipod nano. blocking out all outside noise, the other side of his earphones find place in her right ear, a finger grazing against the white buttons that decorated the silver music player. yn exhales, finally pressuring the tips of her nail, pushing play on the very first track,
'about a girl.'
the name directly stolen from a song by his favourite rock band, the girl fully expects her friend's usually grunge-y sound. however, yn is taken by surprise when a soft guitar acoustic hits the surface of her eardrums instead. the rhythm of the track almost as sweet as the lyrics that he begun to sing. taesan's voice is smooth like butter, matching perfectly with the rather simple strumming pattern of the stringed instrument. being fully produced in his bed-room on a cheap microphone he got at the thrift shop, the girl finds herself smiling slightly at the shuffling sounds she could still hear in the background, breath hitching when she finally processed the words.
i listen to love songs in hopes they come true.
i listen intently to conversations with you.
my mind turns into mush and i can't seem to speak.
in seconds i'm out, the door shuts with a creak.
i could talk about her for hours on end,
i could talk with her, or maybe not, it depends.
cause she drives me insane,
and i've got worms for a brain.
and i can't get her out of my head.
the girl doesn't know what to think. it just all sounds so…foreign. the taesan she knew never wrote songs like this, or at least none that she knew of. the shy and reserved boy would never be caught dead showing this much emotion in real life, his honey-like voice fades out as the instrumental gets louder, giving the girl a moment to think. a million questions swarm into her head. he wrote this song…for her? she's lost in the music for a moment, her mind racing as she goes through about a billion thoughts per second. her heart fluttering at the very idea of this whole thing- i mean, it was as if all those romantic dreams she's had were finally coming true. a whole song written for her? frankly, the girl was on cloud 9. yet still, yn can't help but doubt herself, does he really feel this way for her? her best-friend since middle school? the ever so introverted han taesan who's never even spoken of love, this is him? as the questions swim through her brain, his soft singing wakes her up again.
this girl that i know, she's a girl that i like.
but she won't feel the same, i don't know though, she might.
i just can't, and i won't, let her know how i feel.
i fear it might slip and it'll all become real.
for my mouth only speaks around her,
and my mind only thinks about this girl.
after another beat or two, he sings the final words of his love song,
still, you drive me insane.
and i've got worms for a brain.
think i might like you more than a friend.
with that, the first track in the two-song playlist comes to an end. the room is silent, the only thing she could hear was the quiet sound of her deep breaths. yn's mouth hangs open, her body freezing up like she had just been transported to the arctic without shelter. she doesn't even want to listen to the other song, in fear it'd make her heart beat faster than this one did. unconciously, a single tear begins to run down her cheek. "i know you said to go away but mom's asking what you want for dinner" the sound of her older brother's voice shakes her out of the daze, her eyes blinking rapidly as her head turned towards the door. "are…are you crying?" jaehyun asks, eyes widening as he began to walk over to where she sat on the bed, taking a seat beside her. "i…" she starts but doesn't continue, not really knowing what she was going to or even wanted to say. "so…you listened to that song, huh?" the boy asked, his features softening at the sight of his tearful sister who looked…well, lost.
she nods slightly, "just…just the first one" she mumbles, gulping all too loudly as her hand moves up to wipe at the tears that stained her blushed cheeks. "so? does he like you, or what?" jaehyun's question comes out a bit rushed, like he was impatient to know. "i…i don't know" and before they knew it, the girl had broken down into tears again. she still didn't know why though, the lyrics of her friend's song was nothing but sweet. however, the truth about the feelings he had, the ones he must've been keeping from her this whole time…it made the myung girl overwhelmed, not really knowing how she had to react. "hey, don't cry" her brother coos, a hand stiffly patting against the small of her back as she sobs into her hands. "yn…i know you hate it when i tease you but, don't you think it's obvious he's always liked you?" she lifts up her head, fully looking at her older sibling with confused eyes. "and don't lie, yn. we all know you're a terrible liar. i can tell by the way you smile when you mention him, i can tell by how annoyed you get over silly things about him that you, whether you like it or not, you're just in love as he is" jaehyun lets out a breath after talking too fast, his lips pursed into a line as he hits his sister with the reality of her feelings, and her best-friend's.
"but…" she starts again, stuttering as the salty taste of her own tears managed to seep into her mouth that started to feel a little dry. "but what if it's all a misunderstanding? i mean, what if i got it all wrong? what if this ruins our relationship forever? i shouldn't have…i shouldn't have listened to this. i-" the rambling girl gets cut off, "yn!" jaehyun's voice is louder by a decibel, his hands pressed firmly against his shaking sister's shoulders. "yn, look. there's only one way to find out. and you and i both know that things will only get weird if you don't talk to him about this, right?" the myung girl sighs, nodding at him, a grateful look on her face for her older brother and his big heart- even if he bullied and teased her half the time. "you're right…" another ping grabs their attention away from each other and over to the phone she had tossed to the other side of the bed. "i think that's him…" jaehyun smiles softly at his love-sick little sister, reaching to pass the phone over to her before patting her back lightly. "talk to him, yn. tell him the truth. what's the worst that could happen, right?" he says, earning a half-assed smile in return from the girl.
"besides, he did write love songs dedicated to you- something tells me you two are going to be just fine"
the boy gets off of the bed, "i'll tell mom you're not hungry yet. let me know if you need anything, okay? and if it is all a misunderstanding, which i doubt it is, i'm only a call away and i'll fight the guy for you!" the last part makes the girl giggle, breaking away from her somber state for a moment, rolling her eyes as the older sibling began showing off his non-existent arm muscles. he shot her a quick good luck before he was out the door again. leaving myung yn alone, alone with the thousands of messages and calls from a panicked han taesan.
emo loser (taesan)
yn, whatever you do DO NOT touch my ipod.
yn answer my calls!!!!
yn please.
yn, don't do it.
it's too late isn't it?
yn…
i'm sorry.
the girl can't help but feel sick, the guilt of it all making her stomach turn and her heart to swell in pain. she takes a deep breath, the ticks on the bottom right of his messages turning blue, signifying that she had finally read them.
emo loser (taesan)
you listened to them, didn't you?
yn's breathing gets heavy and fast, her fingers trembling as she began to type out a response.
i need to talk to you.
she bites her lip, nervously watching as the three dots appear then disappear on his end of the chatroom, like he had started to type but stopped half way through. yn shuts her eyes, opening them to stare at the ipod nano that had turned itself off at some point before. her gaze is turned back to the phone in her hands when he finally texts her back.
emo loser (taesan)
meet me at the playground tomorrow?
i have so much to say
you'll listen right?
yn smiles softly, a sudden feeling of warmth engulfing her previously frozen body. she nods to herself, fingers hovering over the digital keyboard.
tomorrow at 1?
this time, he texts back almost immediately.
emo loser (taesan)
i don't think i can wait that long
meet me there at 10
unless you're still sleeping, lazy ass.
the boy's teasing joke, after the whirlwind of emotions she had just gone through, comforts her a little. suddenly, the girl feels confident that her brother was right and that they'd be okay after all.
see you at 10 then, weirdo
the conversation ends there. yn hides under her covers that night, her stomach empty though she didn't feel the need to eat, and her body exhausted though she couldn't seem to sleep. she's still in disbelief. the sound of his voice playing over and over again in her head all night. the lyrics tattooed onto her brain as she finds herself lost.
lost in the love song he wrote for her.
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first of all tysm for 100 followers !!! HEHEHEHE taesan straying away from his usual emo grunge music to write secret love songs for yn 😿 featuring the lyrics that i wrote myself <3 THOUGHTS??? reblogs n feedbacks are highly appreciated!! send me an ask, let's talk abt this 💭 see u guys in the final part!! love, kona.
#kona's work ♡#boynextdoor#boynextdoor drabbles#boynextdoor imagines#boynextdoor x reader#taesan#taesan x reader#boynextdoor taesan#bnd taesan#han dongmin#han taesan#bnd x reader
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jance + royalty au? 👀
Ohhh I think I'm gonna have fun with this one and it'll probably turn too long so putting this under the cut <3
(Note: I'm too lazy to search which countries still have any sort of monarchy and which ones would fit the most, so I leave it up for imagination. I mean, I know we have one here in Spain so maybe one could be Spanish but idk, whatever agahsbs)
Both Jan and Nace are next in line for their respective monarchies. They've never met each other, but along with the education they received as princes, they had to learn about the rest of the monarchies and regimes in the world, so yeah... they do know at least a bit about each other.
Jan has been out as queer for a few years now, since he was 18. It took him some time to gather the courage to speak to his parents, scared of how they would react to the possibility that the prince - the future king of the country - might fall in love with a man one day, making the possibility of having biological children a little, well, complicated. He still liked girls, but he liked boys too, so the possibility was there.
Still, he talked to them. Thankfully, his parents were very supportive and reassured him that there were many ways they could still have children, and there was always the adoption possibility if other methods didn't work out. "The crown is something that is passed from generation to generation, but it is not our blood that makes us kings or queens. We will love you and your future children no matter what."
They agreed to wait until he was 18 to make a statement. It was pretty wild, he appeared in the news and every single newspaper, the word obviously spreading all over the word: he was the first ever out and proud (future) monarch. But anyways, the response was mostly supportive.
Nace, for his part, belongs to a much conservative monarchy. The country has progressed a lot, is a lot more open and lgbtq friendly than it used to be. The monarchy - or, well, his parents and the people around them - on the other hand...
He has known he's gay since he was little, after realizing that him looking at men that way was not admiration or him wanting to be like them, but more like him having a crush on them.
He didn't tell anyone tho, he grew up hearing everyone around him talking bad about people like that, people like him, so he never said anything about it, he hated himself for being like that. That was until a few years later he confessed everything to his sister one night, crying, expecting her to hate him just as much as he had learned to hate that part of him. Instead, his sister hold him tight and told him that it was okay, that she loved him just the way he was, there was nothing wrong about it and he deserved to be loved for who he was.
With time, he started to learn how to love himself again. It was hard sometimes, he wasn't quite there yet - the thought that his parents wouldn't accept him if he came out a constant reminder of it - but he tried.
Then, it happened. Jan - the gorgeous prince with long, black hair and a slightly mysterious and cool aura, yet with beautiful big brown eyes and a soft smile that might or might not make Nace's stomach tingle every time he sees him on tv - has come out as queer. It's shocking at first, but he can't help but feel... good. He's not alone, there's people like him out there, and they're determined to prove that there's nothing wrong with being queer just because you're part of the Royal Family. And he's also proud of the younger boy, for having the courage to come out to a whole country (and the whole world basically) when he himself can't even talk to his parents.
It's not until a few years later that they meet at an event Nace's family organized, but Nace hasn't stopped thinking about the beautiful prince's speech. Nace surprises even himself by going up to Jan and introducing himself (even if they obviously know who they are but, a prince has to be polite right?). They talk a little and they realize that neither of them really wanted to be there, so they escaped the salon where everyone is gathered and Nace shows him around the castle.
They end up going into Nace's room, both of them laying on his bed side by side, looking at the ceiling, cracking jokes and talking shit about how ridiculously polite and hypocrite everyone in that room was. Nace's heart warms as he realizes that the beautiful, kinda shy guy he's had a little crush on from seeing him on tv is apparently really kind and funny and sweet and even more beautiful in person than he is through the screen somehow, and Nace doesn't know what possessed him in that moment but he ends up talking to Jan about when he came out. He confesses him how much his speech impacted him and how much it has helped him accept himself.
He doesn't say it directly, but it doesn't take a genius to understand, yet Jan ventures a quiet "so, you are..." There's a bit of silence where Jan wonders if he pushed too hard until Nace says "I'm gay". He's never said that to anyone besides his sister and it feels good, liberating and, for the first time since the conversation started, he dares to look at Jan. He finds him already looking at him with a bright smile on his face and a (hopeful?) glimmer in his eyes. The younger man doesn't say anything, but he wraps him up in a hug like no one has ever given him. It makes Nace feel safe and accepted like he's never felt and without realizing he starts sobbing quietly, the sobs turning into full tears streaming down his cheeks and heavy breathing as he tells Jan everything that troubles him, everything about his family not being accepting and Jan holds him through it, caressing his hair and whispering words of affirmation until he fully calms down.
Nace feels embarrassed after that, but Jan quickly reassures him and they end up exchanging numbers.
Sadly, the event doesn't last forever and Jan has to go home not long after, but he leaves with a promise to keep in touch, both of them excited for what seemed to be the start of a beautiful friendship.
Nace probably didn't expect it, but they end up texting almost every day. Despite their equally busy schedules, it's nice to come out of a very boring meeting to a bunch of messages from Jan, complaining about his equally boring meetings, talking about stuff that happen throughout his day or sending random memes. He's a bit shy at first, not daring to start conversations, but it's not long until he starts doing the same.
They stay up late at night chatting and sometimes even face timing each other. Nace learns that Jan is very much a night owl, but he's not that used to staying up too late so he sometimes falls asleep in the middle of their call (Jan just finds it incredibly cute and endearing, and if he sometimes spends a few long minutes looking at Nace's peaceful sleeping face before hanging up well... no one needed to know that)
It's been a few month since they first met when Nace has to travel to do some stuff in Jan's country. He swears he's never been more excited to go meet some people and visit some places, but the thought of getting to reunite with Jan is exhilarating. They hug each other so tight and definitely longer than you would hug someone you've only met once before once they meet, but they're both too happy to care about it.
The time Nace spends there passes by way too quickly and he has to go home. It's when he's laying in his own bed that night, his whole body seeming to miss Jan with every atom and his heart aching with the desire to have the other man near, that he realizes (or more like, accepts) that he's in love with Jan.
And he cries. Cries because he's fallen in love with his best friend. Cries because he doesn't want to fuck up this beautiful friendship that they've manage to build besides the distance. Cries because he knows he doesn't stand a chance. Cries because he would never forgive himself for ruining what they have. Cries because he misses him, so fucking much. But how could he not? When Jan has helped him accept and love himself just the way he is, when Jan has showed him he's deserving of love and genuine friendship, when Jan is just so... Jan.
Unbeknownst to him, Jan is having a similar reaction all the way over at home.
Jan blames himself. He knew he had a crush on Nace after that night they met. He thought it would be just a silly crush and it would go away soon, but every day that passed, every text and every late night call, made him fall a little bit more. How was his (not so) silly little crush supposed to go away when Nace was so sweet and nice and kind and cute and beautiful, when his hair was so soft and his dimpled smile was so bright and genuine and his sassy remarks never failed to make Jan smile, when he looked so incredibly adorable and hot when he was wearing his glasses, when his hugs made him feel so safe, when he talked so passionately about the things he liked - god he was such a nerd and fuck Jan was so down bad for him.
So yeah, Jan blames himself. Blames himself because he know this could potentially ruin their friendship. He would never be able to forgive himself if his feelings for his friend were the reason Nace decided to step away from his life, making him lose probably the most precious thing he has ever had.
Of course, none of them say anything about it, they keep in touch just like before, they visit each other as often as their schedules allow them, enjoying being friends. Both of them secretly hoping they could be more, but neither of them daring to risk breaking what they already have.
How long will it take them to get their shit together and realize the feeling is mutual? Will they be able to resist the urge to lean in and kiss the other on one of those rare times they get to spend the day together? Who will take the first step, risking everything they have, holding on to hope that this could turn out well and they could be happy together? How will they overcome all the challenges they will encounter once they are together, like having a long distance relationship or what Nace's parents will have to say about it? How will the world take it when Nace comes out, or if they - two princes and future kings of two different countries - come out as a couple? Well... that's a story for another time.
Leave an AU and a pairing in my ask and I’ll give you the plot of the fic I won’t write for it.
#sorry i had some stuff to do and then this got a little (a lot) out of hand but here it is <3#this got my mind going wild holy shit why did i wrote that much ahsjsbsisbwis#hope this was entertaining to read at least 😅#joker out#jance#fic#ask game#ask#mine#maca writes#< putting this in that tag even if it's not a fic ig#i might have made myself cry a bit but i blame my hormones acting up again
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In Mourning - Takes place after the events of Jailhouse Love. @rius-cave Prison Au
If you haven't read Jailhouse Love already there are minor spoilers.
Adam stood there, the wind passing over him with the bouquet of random flowers in his hand. He felt numb, but after how long it took to find this place he couldn't back down now, it was too important. Mentally and emotionally for him, he had to do this, he had to be here.
Adam wasn't alone, Lucifer was waiting back in the car for him. He had asked him to stay back and that he needed to do this part on his own.
Reluctantly, Lucifer let him, he watched the brunette walk away down the rows of tombstones. For the beautiful sunny day, it was a rather grim one.
Adam and Lucifer spent a lot time online trying to find where Adam's biological parents were buried. Sera wouldn't even as much tell Adam their names. The only reason he knows what they looked like was because of a photo he found tucked away of the three of them when he was just a newborn baby.
He looked like his mother, she had long brown wavy hair, brown eyes, and a wide smile, she was also very tan. His father had black hair and blue eyes, he wore thick rimmed glasses and was more on the pale side.
Adam was bundled up in a blue blanket with a yellow bonnet on his head sleeping in the photo.
They looked so happy.......
Adam took a deep breath, he stared down at the tombstone in front of him, his chest felt tight.
Mary Marie Kadmon
1963 - 1993
Joseph Adam Kadmon
1960 - 1993
Adam Steven Kadmon
1993 - Lost
Adam felt bile rise in his throat at the sight of his own name on a tombstone. Part of him wished he had of died with them, that way they could have still been together as a family.
He set the flowers down and sat in front of the stone, knees to his chest and arms holding them. "Hi mom, hi dad. It's me, Adam." Adam tried to smile but it wobbled until he frowned, his eyes wet. "This is fucking stupid, they can't hear me." He placed his phone with their photo on the tombstone, it didn't help like he thought it would.
His heart ached, tears fell down his cheeks.
What kind of people were they? What would his life be like if they lived? Who would he be? Would he have had siblings?
He likely wouldn't have met Lucifer that's for sure.
Adam put his face in his arms and cried silently, mourning for the family he would never have or know.
"Adam?" A hand came down on his shoulder making Adam jump. "Shit, sorry!"
Adam clenched his shirt, heart racing. "Damn it Luci, you scared the shit out of me." He needs to put a fucking bell on his husband.
Lucifer sat down beside him. "You've been here for nearly 30 minutes, I wanted to see how you were doing."
He's been sitting here crying that long? Fuck. Adam sniffed and sipped his face on his sleeve. "Sorry."
"Don't be, take all the time you need." Lucifer wrapped an arm around Adam's shoulders and pulled him close. No one was here, Adam wouldn't care. They both looked forward at the picture. "You look like her."
Adam hummed in agreement.
"Do you think they would have liked me?"
Adam thought about it for a moment and yeah, they probably would like Lucifer. You know, save for the murder charge that landed him in prison.
No one's perfect.
"She would probably like you right away."
Lucifer tilted his head. "And him?"
Adam smirked. "Probably have to give you a hard time just for fun, but yeah he'd like you."
"So like you then?"
Adam flicked his gaze up to his husband for a second before looking away again. "Maybe."
"I know they would have loved you Adam." Lucifer placed a kiss in Adams hair. "I wish I could have met them."
Adam leaned more into Lucifer. "Yeah, me too."
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This fic came straight from my feelings. I wasn't feeling very good, everything was overwhelming and i wanted to cry.
But it all inspired me well enough to write this fic, where Gale has a panic attack (so this is tw). Somehow making Gale feel at least a bit of what i felt, was very comforting to me.
Btw. This is UNEDITED (just letting you know and sorry)
Breathe, darling
He can't breathe. He's trying to catch his breath. Unsuccessful. He sees Bucky right in front of him, but he's blurry. He could recognise him only because... Well, who wouldn't recognise Bucky? With his broad shoulders and charming face. Dark brown curls, soft voice, whispering a low "are you okay?". He can see and hear those things, yet he can't bring himself to actually acknowledge them. His heart was pounding like it should jump out of his chest at any moment. His hands and legs were shaking. His fingers tapping on the mattress of the bed, unsteady and loudly. It was harder to breathe with every inhale he took. He was starting to choke. That's the first time he hears John's voice clearly.
"What is it? What's wrong, Buck?"
He couldn't get any words out. None of his senses were working. It was almost like he couldn't control his body at all. His eyes started to get watery and he felt tears were about to fall. He can't let that happen. Men don't cry. That's what his father always used to tell him. Men always have to be strong, crying is a weakness. It never occurred to him that Gale was merely a little kid, who just fell and had a bruise on his knee.
One wouldn't guess that trying not to cry would be this difficult. In his mind suddenly all he could think about was "do not cry, do not cry, do not cry", which made him want to cry even more.
While this was occupying his mind, he kind of forgot that he still needs to breathe.
"Buck, darling, you need to breathe, okay? You need to breathe for me, could you do that?"
And Gale could never say no, not when John calls him darling. Or any other pet name actually. It's almost a curse, John's words are sometimes too much for Gale. Too much love to bear. John took Gale's hand and placed it on his chest. Then placed his other hand on Gale's chest.
"Okay, why don't we try syncing our breathing, baby? Come on, up and down, just like me."
And so Gale tried. He focused on his hand on Bucky's chest and tried to match his breathing. Tried to catch his breath and get back to reality. Away from his mind. Away from his awful head. The worst thing is, even if John helps him to escape now... It's only temporary, he'll be trapped immediately again. Isn't it the saddest thing? Being trapped in your mind forever? How could people accept that and be okay with that?
Right now he wishes he could crawl into John's body, that his soul could intertwine with John's and that they'd become one. United forever. He quite likes the idea of John's protectiveness.
If he and John just could be together. But that's only if, and if belongs to fantasies and dreams. They both can't afford that, they barely have the time to afford whatever they're doing now.
"That's my boy, your breathing has calmed. Now let's keep it steady, yeah? Try to not get upset again, my darling."
John was about to pull his hand away, but Gale reached for his wrist and put it back on his torso again. He needed to feel John's touch, he reckons it might be one of the only things keeping him sane at the moment.
John understands. John gets Gale. It's the best feeling Gale thinks he'd ever feel. The way he and John know each other so deeply, their communication without words, they show their needs with a glance or an expression. Maybe after all their soul might as well be intertwined and if they're not they at least live next to each other.
And so John sits up next to him, standing up from his kneeling position in front of him and pulling him in for a hug. A very careful one though, he must have been scared to not squeeze Buck too much, especially after his trouble with breathing. Nonetheless, he wraps his arms around Gale's waist, rests his chin on his shoulder and leans his mouth into his ear. If Gale would have been in his right mind he'd have freaked out heavily, but he's sort of not in his skin, still high on his panic attack.
"What happened, baby?"
John whispered. And Gale couldn't care less for the world and the expectations put upon them. Right now it was only John and him. John who was holding him close and whispering to his ear, while slightly caressing his lips on his neck. He didn't kiss him though, his lips were just hovering over the area. Almost like exploring.
"It was- i... uhmm"
He still couldn't say a coherent sentence. Bucky can sense it and turns him, so they're facing each other. And with the softest, most gentle voice he said:
"I know maybe you don't wanna talk about this and I'll respect it, if you don't. But don't you think it'd be better for you to say it out loud? And you know, maybe just tell me. After all, it's me, Buck. It's only me. You can tell me anything."
It's Bucky, it's only Bucky. So he tells him.
"I'm uhmm- I'm not very sure. I just wasn't feeling well, it's just a lot. All of it, i mean. Suddenly the air was suffocating me like when you're too high in the sky and you don't have a mask on."
"Oh, I'm so sorry-"
"It's okay. You handed me the mask, at the very last moment. You saved me."
"I believe that's exactly what I'm here for."
"Are you?"
"Yeah, cause i couldn't live with myself if something were to happen to you. And because you don't deserve to feel like you don't matter anymore. Or that you're not loved. Because you are, Buck. I love you and care about you. And if you need me to help you put the mask on again, just ask me, I'll find it for you. And if your hands would be too weak, I'll put it on and I'll make sure you'll breathe again. I'm with you, always and forever. It's you and me, Buck."
And after that, there was nothing more to be said. Buck couldn't even think of words to match these. Or some that'd make a good response. But when Bucky's looking at him expectantly, probably waiting for him to say something, he manages a quiet:
"You and me, Bucky."
Which seems to satisfy John as he smiles and lies on the bed. They're alone here. It's late at night, but everyone's at the bar. They were there too until Buck wasn't feeling well and excused himself from the room. He ended here, in the barracks, choking and trying to find breathable air as Bucky came to rescue him. The other guys will probably come back soon. They should go both to their beds. But John is currently lying in Gale's bed. And what's he to do about that?
So he lay down, put his head into the crook of John's neck and nuzzled his nose to John's pulse.
"The others will be back soon."
Gale mumbled. But none of them move an inch. After a long while, John said:
"Yeah. Are you feeling better though?"
And Gale wasn't sure what to answer. Sure, right now he was feeling really fucking good. He was lying next to John with their bodies touching whole. But his anxiety has increased lately. As well as his panic attacks.
"Yeah, I'm feeling better. I'm good. Thank you, John."
He doesn't say any of that. John already thinks he's fragile. In a very specific way though. Bucky knows Gale is very strong and he is the most composed and all that stuff. But he also knows what's stuffed under all of that. And that's this. Because every emotion he pushes down goes down there and one day that place will explode and Buck has no idea what will happen to him then. He just hopes John will be with him.
A noise. They hear chattering coming closer to the barracks. John's body jumps up and he lets himself have a second to calm down. He then looks at Gale, with those beautiful blue eyes and whispers to his ear:
"I'm here whenever. Don't forget about me, love."
He licks the shell of his ear and Gale shivers as John's wet tongue meets his skin. It was a gesture, Gale didn't understand what it meant exactly, but John was telling him something.
When he hears a click and the doors open, John is dutifully sitting on his bed reading his book. Gale didn't quite understand how he got there, but it didn't matter. He probably dazed away, too occupied with the linger of John's tongue on his ear.
He fell asleep as he was replaying the sound of John's "don't forget about me, love" in his head over and over again. And he thinks, how could he ever forget? How on earth could you forget about John Egan?
You simply can't.
#buck x bucky#clegan#gale cleven#john egan#mota#buckbucky#masters of the air#mota fanfic#fanfic#austin butler#callum turner#my feelings#vals mota drabbles
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⠀ dealer!sam monroe x cheerleader!reader
⠀ ⠀ sam’s emotional turmoil
⠀ ⠀ series masterlist
sam paces around his room, he kicks a box that has somehow made it into his path. more than likely from kicking it moments ago. his boot creates a dent in the cardboard, he scoffs at it. like it should have been stronger, like it should've known better than be in his way.
he doesn't even truly know how or why he left you, his cheerleader, to wake up by yourself. part of it was obvious self loathing, he pauses and looks in the mirror. his eyes are bloodshot from a mix or crying and the amount of blunts he's had today.
he doesn't like the person standing before him, not in a physical sense, he's got little problems with his body. maybe wishing he was a bit more muscular. but right now, he's looking at a man that can't help but sabotage every single relationship he's ever had. can't help but leave a burnt trail behind him.
he has you, pretty little you. his perfect girl, who's way too good for him. his hands toussle his hair, but grimaces at the way it doesn't look the right kind of messy. the darkness of the bruises on his face, contrasting against the pale color of his skin. he wishes he could be good for you.
he thinks back to you, your plump cheeks, supple lips, brilliant smile. the way you always look more than eager to see him. how you hold him like he's worth something, he turns from the mirror, crawls back into his bed, his cold empty bed.
the blankets stink of cigarettes, weed, beer, and sweat. he thinks back to your bed, the soft cotton sheets, the sweet smell of your room spray, the warmth of your body with his. tears spill over his eyes again, he's never felt so stupid in his life. he can't believe he ever thought he deserved you. deserved love, patience, empathy. he deserves nothing, but rotting to nothing in this bed.
he wishes his brain didn't do this, didn't convince him of things he knew to be untrue. didn't make him feel worthless. didn't make him so stupid. sam's arms wrap around his ribcage, as sobs wrack his body. he's shaking, and blubbering. he can't get himself to stop, he can't let himself ruin you.
you have a bright future, you can be happy, you can succeed. he can't. he's in too deep, he'll never get out of this town, doomed to releat the same cycle forever. he can't be fixed, and refuses to let you ruin yourself trying to fix his broken pieces. he can't be saved, you'll drown trying.
#shut up callista#sam monroe x reader#sam monroe imagine#sam monroe one shot#sam monroe life as a house#life as a house sam#sam monroe fic#sam monroe angst#sam monroe blurb#sam monroe drabble#sam monroe fanfiction#sam monroe series#sam monroe x reader angst#sam monroe x you#sam monroe x you angst#sam monroe x y/n#sam monroe x y/n angst#dealer!sam monroe x cheerleader!reader
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I think abt Jax abstracting while Gangle doesn’t ( or Jax abstracting before her ) very often
Gangle is very conflicted bc like she should be somewhat happy/relived right? Jax treated her and everyone else awfully!
But she can’t help but feel awful about it. Especially because the last time she saw him before he abstracted Gangle could tell something was off as he was.. well not *nice* but he was less mean.
She tried to ask him if something was going on but he either snapped or brushed her off ( Gangle wonders if maybe if she pressed him harder he’d still be here )
There’s also the elephant in the room regarding his funeral. I can imagine there was a hefty debate on if Jax even *deserves* a funeral, in the end the funeral did happen but it was awkward and short.
This is a really great concept!
When you lose someone who's important to you but who has been awful to you is really conflicting. Even if we say Gangle hates Jax, Jax has been a constant in her life. He was there since she arrived. A part of her world is gone now even if that part was awful.
She would feel both relived and sad. And then feel guilt for feeling relived (because he was lost how could one think something like that when someone "died"), and/or feel guilt over being sad (because he was awful, why should she mourn him).
And then if we add the idea they are somewhat friends, Jax being the one that really communicates the most to her (from what we've seen so far), or even controls her, that's a big loss. She is free now, but with that comes the conflict of what does she do now? She's been following Jax's lead so long, what happens now? Feels a little lost without him. And if he was really one the only sources that really hang out and kept her company, god she'd just feel so lonely. That one constant again. Gone.
The emotional conflicts of losing an abusive loved one is very interesting to me. I always really liked that scene in Tangled when Mother Gothel falls to her death and Rapunzel actually reaches out for her. Because despite everything Gothel put her through and kept her from, she still raised her.
Anyways that tidbit is a bit of derail but just... always an interesting aspect in these kind of relationships that don't really get talked about. And it's perfectly fine to feel these ways too... understanding and knowing what they were doing to you was wrong, even never forgiven them for it. But still mourning their loss. It feels bad, conflicting, guilty but that's okay, emotions are funny like that.
Gangle dealing with that would be so interesting and sad. Worse if we add the idea she actually does care about him someway. Considers him a friend, or loves him, etc.
Worse if she knew Jax cared about her in someway too. Involving that "if she pressed, he'd still be here" idea. Jax always kept her as company, making her realize she was really the only one that could have noticed, could have helped. Even if it was just as his victim or lackey. Feels guilty that even if she's just the one that was always standing closest to him, she out of everyone should've noticed something, right? If she was something, anything, to Jax, she feels it was her responsibility to help. That eats her up even if being "something," to Jax wouldn't have changed anything.
Then at the end of this, Jax's funeral is depressing. Not for the same reasons as many others though. They don't hesitate to do it, they know they have to, Jax was still a person lost. But they didn't think that far into it, as no one really knows what to say about him. Ragatha steps up and tries to talk about him, has trouble with it. Lots of "he--- well!! Ah, Jax was..." that really ends with nothing said at all. Maybe Zooble says they'll miss him being a thorn at their side, as they can't find anything kinder to say.
Maybe Gangle decides to say something, if they were "friends," maybe she does have some interesting things to say. Maybe she just ends up standing up there and crying and sobbing in front of everybody because really what can she say? What can she do? Nobody liked him, not even she liked him, and yet she's here crying so hard she can't speak over him.
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Not Quite Hidden AU: Part 6.
Word Count: 430.
Readers chose: Snoop around.
Leo hums on the way home, planning where to start his vest-a-gate-shin. Dad's usually grumpy and tired after shopping, so asking him right now wouldn't be the best option. None of his neighbors know the goat-man, as far as Leo knows, so asking around might not get him much. And anyway some of them are weird.
That leaves one option—snooping around himself.
Easy enough, he just needs to do it without getting in trouble. The last time he left their apartment without Dad knowing, Mikey tattled on him and Dad was so angry he'd almost started crying. So maybe he wasn't really angry then at all, but anyways Leo can't get caught this time, not when he's trying to find out something so important. This goat guy acted like he knows them, or like he wants to know them, and that's odd enough for Leo to get curious.
He waits until they get home and all the groceries are put away to disappear. Dad yawns as he puts everyone down for a nap on the mattress they share, and for once, Leo lets his brothers snuggle closer to Dad without fighting it too much. He loves to get cuddles, but he’s got importanter things to think about today.
He waits until everyone's breathing slows, then counts to fifty-seven, the biggest number he can reach before getting bored. Only then does he roll out of bed, his feet hitting the cold wooden floor with muffled thumps.
Not quite muffled enough, given that Raph cracks open an eyelid and turns his head in Leo’s direction. “Leo? Where’re ya going?”
Leo blinks as innocently as he can. “For a walk.”
He could say he's going to the bathroom, but then Raphie’s gonna stay up waiting for him, and it’ll only give him a few minutes’ headstart anyway.
Raph huffs. “Nuh uh.”
“Nuh uh? You can't say nuh uh, Daddy didn't say not to leave during nap time!” Leo whispers back triumphantly. “That means it's okay to do it!"
Raph wrinkles his snout in consideration. “Dad’s gonna worry if he sees you not here, though.”
Huh. Leo didn't think of that. “If you don't tell him, I'll share my candy stash with you.”
Raph’s eyes widen, and his tail thumps against the mattress. “Deal.”
Mikey sneezes in his sleep, and Leo takes advantage of the way Dad's ear twitches at that to slip away. He's really good at moving fast and quiet when he wants to be. He has a mystery to solve!
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#rottmnt#rottmnt au#not quite hidden au#my writing#rottmnt splinter#rottmnt raph#rottmnt leo#turtle tots#rottmnt fanfiction#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt#poll#finally got another part for this out whoo!
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Your Fratello Angel
Summary
Takes place Immediatly after episode four, after loser baby. Just a fic of Angel's thoughts as he walks home with Husk and as he talks to Charlie! Mainly fluffy! Or hurt/comfort depending on your view really!
(if u wanna keep this fic after I'm done I'd suggest reblogging because I might delete it after a day or so maybe a week unless it does really well)
1471 words
Content warning!
Swearing/strong language
Mentions of alcohol
Mentions of murder/wanting to kill Val
Mentions of sa/just the scene of Charlie and Val thouggh
Honestly it's not that bad if you watched the series you can read this it jsut sounds bad jsjsjsjs
______________________________
Angel cackles and splays his hand out in front of him, like he was about to tell a grand story, something maybe daring and crazy, his face lighting up with a devilish grin. a good raw excitement that he hadn't felt with anyone but Cherri in a long time. It feels good and refreshing and he takes a moment to bask in it.
Before he's inevitably going to ruin it, because he's actually going to say something extremely silly and stupid, because that's what he does best. That's the realest he can get and that is what Husk asked for. It's the least Angel can do for him after tonight,so that's exactly what husk's gonna get.
"okay so i got in his limmo with these two catty chics- not that that's important though they both started smashin faces the second we got in the car- and Valentino was trying to count up these bills that he had been given after i did like some... Shark dude? I dunno he was probably important though!"
Angel had spent the last hour chatting with Husk and regaling him with stories of Valentino, in return Husk talked about his old Casino, time as an overlord and shitting on Alastor as is expected. But they are coming up to hotel gates now, and Angel desperately tries to push Charlie out of his mind
"and fun fact about 'ole Vally is that because he's a moth his eyes are geuninly a pice of SHIT-"
"he's such a bitch."
Angel is so surprised by Husks bluntness and the complete apathy in his voice and general lack of care that he bursts out laughing (how on earth could he think husk acts like that all the time when his true lack of care sounds like *that*) and Husk probably still high off of adrenaline after having been in a bar fight and shoot out in the last hour, can't help but laugh aswell. Angel is shocked to find out that when Husk laughs he snorts, which sends Him into another fit of giggles that makes him cry and stumble about so much he ends up in The hotel bushes.
"HAHAhahah hohoholy SHIT Hahaha c'mere cmon I need your help!!" he wipes away his tears and waves around his hand like a mad man as Husk hauls him out of the bush wiping away his own.
"sorry sorry okay continue! Continue! Please!"
"Ahahaha fuck I can't remember what I was saying now." Angel is smiling like a loon and he knows it but he he hasn't felt the high of friendship and understanding in someone new in what seems forever and he isn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
"Try squeezing your hands."
"pfttt what?"
"Just do it its supposed to help you remeber things" Husk is grinning self consciously probably aware that he sounds insane right now
"oh! Oh! Never mind! I remember now!!"
"Oh yeah?"
They've finally gotten to the front door now and Angel completely ignores everything in lieu of looking at Husk. Drinking up this moment like it's champagne, trying to permanently burn this bubbly fruity feeling hinto his brain. Nothing else matters right now exept from Husk and him bitching about his boss.
And it's honestly what Angel considers a perfect moment.
"Yeah! Okay so I know I said he had bills but it was litterally like three it was like three dollars and he got so pissed at me for not telling him but i honestly just found it fucking hilarious that some guy paid him three dollars and he couldn't even tell as he was counting it- I think the shark guys got shot in the head for it though?"
"how long did it take him to realize??" Husk asks, using his whole body weight to push open the tall red oak doors and into the main room.
"he had like three bills. And it took him like thirty minutes to count it!! His eyes are so shit!!" Angel giggles and covers his face with all four hands, heaving out a long and tired but happy sigh as the warmth of the hotel finally knocks into him and settles into his bones, making him realize how tired he is.
However the quiet and warm moment does not last of course.
He doesn't even get a moment to to take in a second breathe before a very upset, very sorry princess, comes barralling into him with all the strength, the emotion and conviction of something 20x her size, and it momentarily knocks the breathe out of him.
Ah shit.... Time to face the music.
He cringes as her arms small and as squishy as they might be, attach themselves around his waist like iron bands, pressing all the multitude of bruises around his body. He wouldn't dare tell her to get off, or say she's hurting him though, because she needs it. She deserves every bit of kindness that a washed up whore like Angel can give her, he'd do it whatever it costs in a heartbeat too.
Everything that had happened that morning came rushing back to him and his left eye started to throb again like it remembered too.
Charlie is an emotional demon with Empathy for others that probably kills her, and Angel feels all the guilt of what she must have been feeling, left at home, forced to sit on it, thinking she had done something wrong like it was ever possible that she could do something to hurt someone. it was Val's fault. Not Charlie's and even he was smart enough to know that.
But then again Charlie probably wasn't smart enough to understand that, considering it was Angel that shouted at her.
He really hadn't meant what he'd said in a cruel way, but the panic of what Val was going to do to him when she left the building and he was alone in a room with him felt suffocating. That and the mix of disgust and anger that he had felt when Val wrapped his slivery disgusting fucking tongue across her arm and he had to watch as Charlie smiled through the discomfort had flared up something fierce and protective in Angels chest. Angel doesn't usually let himself revel in the thought of harming Val because it's all just a fantasy in the end, letting himself get too lost in those kinds of things would slowly kill him.
but in that moment he didn't even bother pretending even to himself that he didn't want to kill Valentino on the spot.
"I AM SOOOOOOO SORRY ANGEL. " she warbles and her face as she looks up at angel Crushkng his heart into powder "i PROMISE ILL NEVER CME TO YOUR WORK AGAIN I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORR-"
"Woah Charlie. " he put his hand on her head and as she looks into his eyes he's caught by surprise as the sudden flash of his sister when they were both twelve shoves itself to the front of his mind, when she would come running to him with tears in her eyes just like this, with the same long blonde hair and blue eyes as this, with a scraped knee and a plea for her Fratello Anthony to make it better.
And he always did.
"You don't need to apologise Charlie. It's okay, i forgive you." he strokes her hair softly running his fingers through her sleek blonde hair, the other wrapped around her waist and tries to look down at her with the most comforting and level gaze he can manage. It pays off when of course she beams back and the tears in her face come flooding back and she flings herself towards Vaggie wailing,"HE HE HE FORGAVE MEEEEE."
Vaggie the softy she 'secretly' is, (even though everyone already knows) smiles and scoops her girlfriend up in one go bridal style. She looks at Angel in a surprisingly thankful way? He expected to have a spear pointed at him, but she merely nods with a curt smile and starts to ascend the stairs up to their room.
Husk turns to look up at him, he smiles, sharp teeth all yellow from smoking and liquor. Angel swears he can see something like being pride etched into his face. He feels his smile return back full force and let's himself revel in it. The feeling of it, but for once, it doesn't feel red or smoky or suffocating or scary, it just feels warm and safe. Familiar. It's crooked and mishapened it's early mornings spent on self improvement even with the worst hangover ever, it's him trusting with letting fat nuggets around others, it's his care for the people around him, its the care he receives back.
It's family.
#raccoonswriting#Huskerdust#charlie morningstar#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fics#Hazbin hotel charlie#hazbin hotel husk#angel dust x husk#hazbin angel dust#angel dust#vaggie#chaggie#valentino#Hazbin hotel Valentino#Writing#cw swearing#cw sa mention#Cw alcohol#cw murder#(Kinda)#Fat nuggets#hazbin molly
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