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rxzennia · 15 days

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nocturnality

– tales of the voracity pathstrider

✎𓂃 irregular sleep patterns make for good nightmare consolation

aventurine wakes up in a cold sweat, throwing off the sheets as he sits up abruptly. 4am, his bedside clock reads, and he rubs his eyes. he can’t get the images of the thirty-four slaves he had killed out of his head; he watched the life drain from their eyes, and they were children like him. neither could he be rid of the feeling of blood on his hands, from those whom he stained himself with, and those who stained themselves upon him.

see, he isn't the type to seek anyone out in his moment of vulnerability

he doesn’t trust anyone to not take his fears and use them against him

but he thinks you might be safe

you did put up with him for 5 years and counting, after all

although he still can't really tell if you like working for him

you haven't left yet! and you seem to care about him!

it means something to him, even if you're not outright showering him with warmth

he would've loved it if you were more affectionate, but he finds himself liking the way you’re only ever soft for him

you’re a slab of ice to everyone else (even to him occasionally, if he doesn’t pester you enough to get you to open up)

anyways, he debates between texting, calling, or visiting you in person

your room is not too far away from his block – he might as well try his luck

(he has insanely good luck, so maybe you will be awake)

before that, he sends you a text just in case

it's not even a text, it's just a random sticker in his recents

your reply comes a few seconds later, and it's so characteristically you

one question mark. literally. just “?”

there he has it, you're still up and about. aventurine is used to your patterns by now, even if he can’t wrap his head around how you sleep so late and rise so early.

well, as long as you're well and doing your job properly, he's not going to question it

though he does wonder if you sleep at all

you’re his dutiful secretary during the day, sorting his documents, reminding him of his schedule and the like

you even follow him into meetings if he asks you to

sometimes he has to be ready by 5am

and guess what? you're awake and all dressed up by then, knocking at his door at 5am sharp

but you don't go to bed until 3am?

he only knows that because he had once tried to talk to you about a project idea he had at that time and you didn't pick up the phone

when you finally did pick up on his second call (in his defense, you usually weren’t asleep yet), you sounded groggy

and then you were like “mrrrrrh what is so important that you must wake me?”

he will never tell you how much he found your sleepy voice adorable

that was the earliest he's ever seen you sleep in all the days that he's known you

he really, really hopes you’ll renew your contract with him

you’re his absolute favorite out of all the secretaries he’s had

no one’s as soft with him as you are

no one’s ever tried to listen to him, or to understand him the way you do

out of everyone, you’re the only one who he feels some sort of genuine connection with

he’s seriously considering giving you a permanent position when your current contract ends

a familiar sequence of knocks sound at your door, and you know it's aventurine who's come to visit you. you've set up something like that with him because of the sheer frequency at which he bothers you outside of office hours, and you'd like to know which inconsiderate bastard it is who tries to visit your room past midnight.

affectionately, of course

it's not like he's causing you any inconvenience, so you don’t really care

you look at him, and wordlessly, you open your arms

you don’t need an explanation, or excuses, or an apology, or anything

his eyes are bloodshot, and you can see the cold sweat still on his forehead

he didn’t even bother tidying up before coming to see you

your heart aches, because it isn’t very often your boss comes to you in this state

he doesn’t even hesitate before he plops face first into your embrace

you’re lucky it’s the ungodly hours of no-one-is-awake, because you bringing your boss into your room is not a good look for you

especially when he’s holding onto you like you’re his secret lover or something

you don’t talk, and neither does he

you just hold him as he clings to you like you’re his lifeline

you lift him up easily; you're not about to stand in the doorway for the rest of the night

he likes how you don’t ask questions, how you comfort him without expecting anything in return

you don’t even know what exactly it is that plagues him, but you’re so tender with him all the same

you settle down in bed with him, though he can tell that you were working before he interrupted you

your monitors are still on, and you have a dozen of papers laid out side-by-side along with a pen that is now abandoned

he feels a little bad, but also he’s overwhelmed by how easily you do these things

like… setting your work aside because he’s looking for comfort

but you’re not even doing it consciously? you’re doing it so naturally like you’re doing it out of habit

he doesn’t think you intended to tuck him into your bed when you picked him up

he doesn’t get it. he doesn’t get you.

you could’ve held him in your lap while you worked and he wouldn’t have complained

to give him your undivided attention like this

are you trying to make him lower his guard?

he wants to draw the natural conclusion of your eventual betrayal once he lets you in, but he finds it so ridiculous that it’s impossible

you? who’s so gentle with him? who’s not even spoiling him consciously?

aventurine doesn’t feel safe with many people, if at all. the fact that he breathes so peacefully by your side is a surprise in and of itself. when your fingers brush against his hair, he shivers and holds onto your arm tighter.

“don’t go,” he says, as sleep slowly takes him again, “stay.”

you chuckle, a sound that he loves to hear, as you offer him your entire right side

and your scarf

you don’t know if he’d like it, but you flick the end on your right over to him anyway

he does like it. he snuggles into the fabric without hesitation

he vaguely remembers the fact that your scarf is your weapon, but it’s the least important thing on his mind right now

it’s soft. it smells like you. it’s comfortable.

you’re still trying to work, settling for reading through documents on your tablet

he cuddles up to you, shifting in your warmth until he finds himself a nice position to settle into

you let him sleep by your side, even if you’re unlikely to rest yourself

it’s okay, you can work through the night just fine with your tablet

you’ll be right next to him when he wakes

you glance at aventurine, who’s finally relaxed and getting the rest he deserves. he’s snoring softly all the while holding your arm in a death grip, and you feel yourself overcome with a surge of protectiveness.

you’ll watch over him. when he’s feeling better, you’ll see if he wants to talk about it. and whatever happens next… well, you’ll cross that bridge when you get there. you still have contracts and agreements to review, and there’s only so much time before more work ends up on your plate.

that said, aventurine’s day starts in three hours; maybe you could shuffle a few things around and let him sleep in?

#honkai star rail #aventurine #aventurine x reader #ares's voracity pathstrider tales #honkai star rail x reader

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taffywabbit · 11 months

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idk if i'm way off the mark on this, but the way some people are responding to that Guillermo del Toro interview about the decline of studio animation is a bit frustrating to me. specifically the bit where he talks about "emoji animation" and how everything is over-animated and pushed too far and things are rarely allowed to not be ultra-cartoony (y'know, because animation always needs to be marketable to children who are never trusted to have attention spans, right?). like, i think he's generally correct about it! but some folks are taking the wrong message away from that.

i've seen people going off about how "soulless" and "corporate" various recent examples are, and talking about these pieces of media as though they're the result of some kind of personal failing or lack of skill/range on the part of the animators, and it's just like. do people realize that's the only animation you're usually allowed to DO in the industry, unless you get incredibly lucky and land yourself on a project/studio that's unusually cool?

when i was in college for animation it was literally drilled into us nonstop that everything had to be pushed more, that exaggeration was not a guideline or a sometimes-treat but a hard rule that always had to be applied regardless of what was going on, because the viewer couldn't be trusted to pick up on subtlety and we sure as hell couldn't be trusted to convey it. you ever wonder why there's such a specific vibe to a lot of self-directed student films, particularly ones that are focused on character acting/interaction or deep emotions and introspection (especially when there's minimal/no dialogue)? it's because for a lot of young animators, they haven't had the freedom to experiment with realism and subtlety up to that point and they're likely not going to have it again for a while (or at all, unless their career path leads to higher positions where they might have more creative direction over the things they work on. which also becomes a lot less likely if they're anything other than a cishet white dude, for what it's worth).

i would LOVE to see more nuanced, realistic, understated motion and acting in animation. i WANT more characters to be able to express what they're feeling through natural body language and facial cues and for scenes to allow me to breathe instead of spelling everything out in giant bold flashing text all the time. what del Toro wants to see changed in the animation industry sounds great, and i hope others join him in seeking to revamp what modern animation is allowed to be.

but as things currently stand, and as they've stood for a long while now, most artists doing the grunt work on the shows and movies you see are completely at the mercy of corporations and networks who have a vested interest in producing a very specific kind of marketable and cost-efficient media all the time. (and by extension that style is ALSO what's taught in most animation schools, because their job more than anything is to grind you down into a perfect little sweatshop worker who will bend over backwards to meet quotas and get your work approved and not question the higher-ups, even if you have little to no personal investment in the projects you're working on, so that the studios who employ you can maintain their good reputations or whatever)

anyways idk what my point was here, this really just sorta became a rant and my views have undoubtedly been coloured by my own personal experiences (this kinda shit is largely why i dropped out before my last year of animation school, for the record).

i guess just be kind to folks in the animation industry? they've had it fucking rough nonstop for well over a century (the majority of them are still not unionized and there's HUGE pushback against doing so in many places). i assure you they are doing their best to infuse the latest uninspired illumination flick or weird spinoff kids' show with literally any amount of soul they can. you don't have to like the stuff that gets produced by any means! be a hater! i'm certainly not gonna stop you. just remember where these creative decisions come from and why these conditions exist, and consider that when YOU watched something and thought "hmm that could've been done better", you can bet your ass someone actually working on it probably thought the same thing but couldn't do anything about it. these things WILL change as the industry itself improves, but in the meantime folks have to pay their rent, and that usually means doing what they're told and working in a way that will minimize revisions and meet quotas so they can keep their jobs. it sucks, but it is what it is.

#buny text #long post #animation #i don't have a rant tag because i don't necessarily want to encourage myself to make posts like this frequently #but this is obviously a touchy subject that's close to home for me and it felt important to get it out #i realize i am on the Getting Super Mad At People Who Make Popular Media website so hopefully this does not bite me in the ass

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ksyongi · 6 months

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a turn of events

synopsis - a mingyu wonwoo fanfic where you wake up naked from a drunken night spent with mingyu which changes your life.

genre - romance, smut, childhood friends to lovers

pairing - childhoodbsf!wonwoo x reader x childhoodbsf!mingyu

wc: approx 4.8k

NSFW - MINORS DNI

warnings: mentions of rain, use of pet names, teeny bit of jealousy, smut ; dirty talk, dom!wonu, dom!gyu, sub!reader, oral(f) and oral(m) wonu being a tad bit rough but it's soft a tad bit too. written with the thought of the reader being on birth control btw so no accidents🙈(lmk if i missed out anything)

an: A BIG BIG THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO HELPED ME ON THIS !! i started on this like last december and man this too way to long with my procrastination but anyway, i hope its okay because i'm not experienced with writing a lot of smut, do lmk if you guys want a pt.2 :) <3

m.list

Yeah, a few drinks huh… You did not know a few drinks would end up with you waking up fully naked a room, hell you barely remember anything. You turn your head and see a bunch of photo frames placed on the desk.

You slowly get up and let an out an audible 'fuck' when you felt the pain between your legs. They must've gone hard on you huh…

You take one in your hands and see two boys in it. Bringing it closer to your face and to it had to be your highschool friends. Kim Mingyu and Jeon Wonwoo, the school's most well known pair of basketball players. Their dynamic worked so well on court that they had been awarded the captain and vice.

The question everybody had was how they managed to get along? With Mingyu's big ego and Wonwoo's quiet, introverted personality, nobody could understand. You found yourself hanging out with the duo sometimes, they are honestly considered as your best friends. You've invited them to your house multiple times but last night was a first when going to their house since they just recently moved in.

They decided it was a great idea to hold a party after moving into their new house and to get it dirty from all the spilled drinks and litter. You don't even know whose room you were in, you haven't even had the time to familiarize yourself with the home before getting yourself drunk. What a smart move. The week's earlier events had been too much for you, letting loose at your friend's home was the best place you could, right?

Thinking of the chances of who you could have slept with, you honestly wouldn't mind either if it was Wonwoo or Mingyu. Heck you even might have a huge ass crush on them. There's just something about them ever since you got grouped up one day in highschool for a project. You have even caught yourself daydreaming about being railed by either. Those deceiving soft, innocent eyes of Wonwoo. You bet he was those 'angels in the streets, devil in the sheets' kinda guy. It made your insides flip in the best way possible. Well for Mingyu… his charm was unmatchable by other guys. His flirtatious and confident character were a plus factor. You wouldn't mind if it was him either. The pair was undeniably hot till you wouldn't deny your grown feelings for them ever since the end of highschool when they presented you flowers and a handmade cd full of songs made by them for your birthday.

A click from the door pulled you from your deep thoughts. Speaking of the devil. Mingyu stood there, plate of scrambled eggs in hand, with no shirt and sweatpants that were clinging onto his hips for its dear life. Your eyes trailed down his body till his voice interrupted you.

"Good morning." Mingyu says. Using his arm to gesture to the bed for you to sit back on. You hum in response, mentally cursing at your drunken mind for not thinking straight the previous night. The situation you got yourself into cannot get any more awkward. 'This ruined our friendship didn't it' you cry out to yourself in your head. You can't help but let a blush rise to your cheeks. Hiding your face, you adjust the loose navy blue shirt on you. Mingyu hands you the plate, watching you start to eat it and give a nod of approval to his cooking. He takes a seat next to you watching you finish the portion of food.

You were about to be saddened by the fact you couldn't remember anything, but then it all came back to you.

"Taking my cock so well aren't you baby? So pretty under me." His sloppy thrusts bring you to your fourth release of the night. The tight grip he had on your hips made purple marks bloom on them. his grunts and your high pitched moans mixed together. his teeth were sunk into his bottom lip with his eyes tightly shut. the sounds of skin slapping and the smell of sex was evident. “m’ about to cum gyu.” “Alright, cum with me baby.” his thrusts got faster, as your back started to arch at the rush of pleasure.

Well, shit.

“Hope you're okay with my choice of cooking. Just wanted you to not feel as awkward as you seem right now. You can be yourself, you know." Mingyu shrugs, his eyes fixated on the now empty plate in front of you.

"What happened last night?" Mingyu's small attempt of comfort does not help and you ask the question that was eventually going to be surfaced.

"Well, I'm not going to sugarcoat things and go straight to things." Mingyu's irises shift to lock with yours, his eyes seeming as unfazed as ever. "You went to my party yesterday, and you decided to be an idiot and take one too many drinks and decided to hook up with me. Not that I'm surprised about that last part." You break eye contact and groan as Mingyu's lips twitch upwards in amusement.

What the hell did you get yourself into?

—

"I might have slept with Kim Mingyu, please don't kill me." you confess to the trio in front of you. booseoksoon. Seungkwan slams his hands on the table, catching the attention of others in the cafe. "WHAT THE FUCK? WE LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR ONE NIGHT AND YOU DO THAT?" Soonyoung shoots him a glare to 'tone the fuck down' that seungkwan brushes off and Seokmin apologizes to the people who are giving questionable glances. You try to hide yourself further into your turtleneck.

In an instant, Soonyoung puts the pieces together and slides up next to you and pulls the material hugging your neck and the purple marks are on full display for the three. Seokmin's mouth drops agape, Seungkwan slaps a hand to his head, really, really hard, and Soonyoung brings his head closer to your neck trying to examine it as if it was just makeup and all of this was a prank.

"Girl, you're lucky that you lost your virginity to that hot shot Choi Seungcheol and it wasn't Kim fucking Mingyu." Seokmin shakes his head. His eyes are still wide, trying to recover from that bomb you just dropped on them.

"I thought you said Mingyu was your 'childhood friend'? I know the guy is hot but really?" Seungkwan's voice is now small, almost in a whisper. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE NOT INTO MEN ANYMORE BECAUSE OF THE LACK OF DICK YOU WERE GETTING MAN." His usual personality came back. You instantly take both your hands and plaster them onto his mouth, muttering apologies to the irritated audience and once again, Seungkwan looked like he was crazy.

"Hold your darn horses. Explain yourself before one of us marches to Mingyu's house and interrogates him for an answer," Soonyoung rubs his hands on his temples in distress.

Sure you had a fair share of dick but the last time you ever had sex was like when you were 22? Like a whole two years ago.

"Well, I'll keep it simple and…not so sweet but you get the idea." The three of them leaned closer to you, eyes filled with a mix of emotion. "Well, I just felt like downing a few drinks and in the morning I just woke up in his bed? What else do you even want me to say man." You sigh, head resting on your palm.

"Do you regret it?" Seokmin asks, not even hiding an ounce of his curiosity. You look down on your lap and pick on the skin on your fingers as your mouth forms a thin line. They knew that the sex was good and you barely regret it. You couldn't hide the fact that Mingyu was hot.

"Listen." Soonyoung breaks the silence. "I don't mind if you slept with one of the men you did not expect to, but I don't want you to be hurt. You better sort out where you stand, you better not come crying at one of our doorsteps on one of these days thinking that you were something. I bet all of us feel this way."

"Yeah, I've known him since I was young so this should not be so bad."

Soonyoung scoffs and continues. "Just sort your relationship out with him okay? Make sure it isn't awkward or anything. Men are fucking dense and make sure he doesn't think that you are his go-to fuck girl now."

—

So you find yourself at his doorstep. Grimacing when you remember what happened the last time you went there. You ring the doorbell and hear a pair of feet shuffling behind the door.

What you didn't expect was Wonwoo opening the door instead of Mingyu. You take a step back and you feel the tips of your ears getting hot.

Wonwoo's hand slowly slides off the handle of the door, "Hey y/n." the low hoarse voice you heard almost sent you to heaven. "Hello Wonwoo…" you find yourself trying not to stutter and hold that eye contact he is holding. Hoping that he did not know anything about the previous night's events, you go straight to the point. "Is Mingyu around by any chance? I have to talk to him about something." Wonwoo shakes his head, "He's out right now, do you wanna come in first? He may come back soon." You quietly accept the offer and enter their home. You see that his eyes follow your figure with your peripheral vision.

You follow him to his room as a usual routine, but you can't dismiss the quiet atmosphere. You did not know why you were feeling this way. Wonwoo was usually a guy with little words but now the fact that you sleep with Mingyu, you couldn't help but feel awkward. "You can get comfortable, let me just finish one more round of my game." You were honestly surprised at his carefree attitude. You sit yourself down on his bed, "Do you remember anything from last night?" You decide to ask. Wonwoo shook his head, "Not really, I was tipsy. Mingyu was busy banging somebody and I couldn't find you anywhere so I just went to bed." You relax at that statement, happy that he was clueless.

You became comfortable in Wonwoo's presence quite quickly. He finished his game quickly like he said he would and closed his game launcher as soon as the 'victory' screen flashed on his monitor. He placed his glasses on his desk.

"So what do you wanna do now?" He turns around in his chair to face you. Just at that instant, Mingyu enters Wonwoo's room. His eyes widened by the slightest before returning to its usual state. You wave at him, in which he returns one.

"What brings you here?" Mingyu asks. Wonwoo interjects, "She wanted to talk to you about something, which she can ask you now since you are here. So what was it you wanted to ask, y/n?" You were surprised by his sudden straightforwardness. "I uhh just wanted to ask Mingyu if…He's free tonight to come over and just hang out! And since you're here too Wonwoo, wanna come over for a bit later?" You stuttered, only sounding convincing for the last few words.

The pair in front of you questioned your invitation but went with it. "I'll be there." The taller one said. "I'll be slightly late but I'll definitely be there." Wonwoo gave a small smile. "Great! I'll see you guys then." You quickly take your leave, leaving the two in front of you speechless. "She came all the way here just for that?" Wonwoo snorts. "Weird…" Mingyu looks at the place where you previously sat.

—

You were expecting Mingyu's arrival. It was currently slightly past 8pm. Bringing out a few bottles of soju, you heard the doorbell ring.

You quickly pat down your outfit and open the door. Instead of seeing Mingyu, you saw Wonwoo. The wind got knocked out of your lungs after seeing him. Failing to calm yourself down, you hold the door open, letting him in. You fail to notice Wonwoo checking your outfit out while you were trying to neutralize your facial expression. He's in a white turtleneck with a pair of long black pants. To top it all off, he was using those goddamned black framed glasses. Fuck your horemones right now because gosh you really wanted to tear it off him. Your jaw slacked at the slightest and you got snapped out of your thoughts from Wonwoo clearing his throat.

"O-Oh hey Wonwoo." you smile. "Hey Y/n. Mingyu was held up at home, he made a mess earlier when trying to cook and he's cleaning it up right now." Wonwoo sighs, letting his hand run through his hair. You laugh, standing aside to let him in.

Wonwoo puts aside his things neatly as you take a seat in the living room. He joined you shortly as you opened a bottle of soju.

"What do you wanna do now?" You ask. "We could probably put on a movie or something." Wonwoo shrugs, taking down a shot of soju. "I have a better idea~" You sing-song, getting up and gesturing for Wonwoo to follow you.

"Tadaaa" You show Wonwoo the small set-up in your backyard, a few chairs set out with a perfect view of a full moon and a few stars. Wonwoo takes a seat, "This is nice," he sighs. "Of course it would be,'' You wink, placing down the bottles in your hands onto the table. You take your phone and put a jazz spotify playlist and leave it on shuffle.

As per usual, you started a conversation. They usually revolved around shared memories from highschool. Some including Mingyu of course, you wonder if he forgot about the night together with Wonwoo.

"Oh fuck don't remind me of that" You groan, "No way I would let you live this one down, it was hilarious how you asked Hong Jisoo for this favourite colour in 8th grade and the day after you came to school in braces with that exact colour. You were so obvious." Wonwoo was clutching his stomach, his cute laughter made you crack a smile and hide your face in your hands.

"Oh don't get me started on how you liked that girl from our level and shouted 'Oh this shot is for you!' in the basketball finals right in front of our whole cohort and missed it," You tease, nudging his shoulder. Wonwoo playfully rolls his eyes. "Oh hush, Mingyu would never stop teasing me for that one."

Your laughter slowly dies down as a familiar tune comes on. Your homecoming dance song. The exact song Wonwoo and you danced two years ago. You didn't have a date because you only had a crush on Mingyu and Wonwoo at the time. You remember it clearly. Watching Mingyu dancing with another girl made your jealousy kindle. But Wonwoo came in front of you, asking you if he could have the dance with you before gently grabbing your arm and you remember dancing with him for the rest of the night.

Similarly, now he did the same. Standing up, he reaches up his hand. "May I have this dance?" You could simply not refuse, putting your hand in his right away with a blush creeping up your face. He pulls you to his chest onto the grass of your backyard, the small light of your backyard with the stars fit the mood perfectly. You and him swayed to the familiar tune of the song and before you could realise, raindrops started to fall from the sky. One turned into ten and there was a small downpour. But fuck it, since you were already having fun, what more if it were in the rain with Wonwoo?

Hands still intertwined with his, you slow dance in the rain. Some turns and dips in between the song. You find the song coming to a slow stop, as your hands find a place around Wonwoo's neck. You find yourself in a more intimate position now. You look into his eyes, taking the chance to explore his face too. Wonwoo looks up, "The moon is beautiful, isn't it?" You follow his gaze upwards to the bright moon, "Yeah, it really is." Wonwoo was glad you didn't know the meaning of the sentence he said, but maybe one day you would know the true intentions behind his words.

You both don't seem to mind the drenched outfits and how they were sticking to your body. Both of you slowly look back at each other and you see Wonwoo staring at your lips. You see Wonwoo hesitating, "Can I kiss you?" Wonwoo whispers, his head inching closer to yours slowly. You slowly nod your head, but you see his head stop inches before touching yours. Wonwoo takes a second before saying, "Fuck it." before pushing his lips onto yours.

Your lips slowly move on his, savoring the taste of him. His intoxicating cologne drags you into a trance, you need more of him as he needs more of you. Wonwoo's arms slide around your waist as he leans down more into the kiss. Your taste was addicting and thankfully he was sober still. He knew for a fact you were sober too, he'll make sure you would have an unforgettable night either way.

You slowly part from the kiss, grabbing Wonwoo's hand and pulling him into your house. You try and pull him in for another kiss before he cuts you off, "Not so fast sweetheart. You gotta dry off first, don't want you catching a cold." You laugh, "So thoughtful as usual." Wonwoo smiles, walking to your bathroom to grab a towel and he starts to dry your hair. You would never get sick of how any moment can turn wholesome with Wonwoo in an instant.

Wonwoo finishes drying the both of you off. "Lead the way princess." You take hold of his hand again, dragging him into your room. Wonwoo takes a seat on your bed, pulling you into his lap in the process

"This okay Y/n? Just wanted to feel you for the whole night..fuck you looked so hot the second you opened the door." Wonwoo groans when you grab his arms, putting it on your waist. "Yes this is alright Wonwoo." You smiled, but you were exploding inside. Your heart was beating against your ribcage and you hoped he didn't notice how fast your heart was beating.

He pulls you into another kiss. It was sweet at first, but Wonwoo starts to drag his tongue over your bottom lip then pushes his tongue into your mouth to explore it as soon as you grant him access. He takes your tongue into his mouth to slowly suck it. You moan at the sensation. Wonwoo pulls away, a string of saliva connecting your lips. You try to catch your breath as Wonwoo takes you into his arms, turning you around so he is caging you to the bed.

Wonwoo proceeds to sit on your bed, pulling you onto his lap. Wonwoo starts to press wet kisses from your neck, making sure to pay attention to your sweet spot and lightly sucking on it. You softly moan his name, your arms finding its place around his neck. Wonwoo's hands grab your hips, guiding them to sit on his erection. "See how turned on you make me feel? Been wanting this for ages," Wonwoo practically groans by your ear making your breathing start to uneven. The vibrations you felt from his chest went straight down to your core.

Wonwoo's hands guide down to your shirt, resting there. "May I?" You give him a nod, encouraging him to continue. "Let me know when to stop alright? Tap me twice if you want to stop. Don't be afraid to be vocal either." Wonwoo gives a small smile before lifting your shirt over your head. "Always so pretty for me sweetheart," he looks at you in awe. Looking away, you feel his hand coming to your cheek and pushing it to meet his gaze. He takes the chance to peck your lips before continuing and unclipping your bra. Wonwoo does not waste any time in taking one breast and fondling it. He takes your lips onto his again, muffling your moans.

When you have the chance to, you manage to choke out, "Please..Wonwoo.." He looks at you with a smirk, knowing how you were far in a bliss to talk properly. "Please what sweetheart? Use your words." You ball up you hands into fists, "Please just fuck me hard. I need you Wonwoo."

All Wonwoo did was let out a low chuckle. You did not know how to react. "Since you asked so nicely I could never say no to you. But I need a taste of you first." It's like a switch was flipped. Wonwoo's hands reached for your pants, taking them off as well as your underwear as if he was tearing it off you. "Be good for me and let your neighbor's know who's making you feel good hm?" You give a quick nod, eyes closing at the feeling of his hot breath fanning on your heat.

Wonwoo wastes no time in diving into your bundle of nerves, licking and sucking as if it were his last meal. He manages to shove in two of his long slender digits too, it's scissoring motion making your thighs clench around his head. Wonwoo's tongue was quickly bringing you to your release and both of you knew it. But the sudden sound of your door opening made the two of you jump.

"Oh what a pleasant surprise." Mingyu sauntered into the room, taking a good look at you sprawled out on your bed and Wonwoo's face covered in your juices. "Look who decided to join the party." Wonwoo licks his lips. The wind was knocked out of your lungs as you tried to comprehend that whatever was happening wasn't a dream. Mingyu confirms your thoughts by crashing his lips onto yours. It was an aggressive kiss, Mingyu's neediness was showing through it.

Mingyu abruptly pulls back and that sudden action makes you chase his lips. Mingyu laughs, "Such a needy baby aren't you? That makes the two of us." Mingyu chuckled, "Has Wonwoo been treating you well?" You watch how Wonwoo rolls his eyes and he goes back to focusing on getting you to your release. Mingyu gets the hint and starts to mark you up. You knew you would be littered in their marks. Of course you would, Wonwoo and Mingyu would have to mark what's theirs. The feeling of both their mouths on your body made your back arch off the bed as your hands reached to grab Wonwoo's hair and Mingyu's hand. And so your release came crashing right after Wonwoo's fingers started to rub your heat and Mingyu started to suck on one of your breasts.

Your mind was in a haze, mumbling a mix of their names and how good they made you feel. "Oh my god Gyu, you gotta taste her." Wonwoo pants, hands taking the remnants of your release off his face and putting his fingers at Mingyu's mouth which he clearly accepted. Mingyu moans around Wonwoo's fingers, making your core start to get wet once again.

Mingyu caresses your naked waist, "You're doing so well for us baby," Wonwoo stands up, dusting his knees. "Can you still take us? Unless our slut is already fucked out from a single release?" On a normal day you would shoot back a snarky remark but you knew if you did that right now, you would be put in place. Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea but for now you would keep that idea for another time. You manage to give a small nod to the duo. They quickly undress fully, your eyes admiring their bodies. You take both hands to feel their figures. They both crack a smile, Wonwoo's face trying to turn away to hide his blush as Mingyu's hand reaches to caress your cheek.

It was always that in moments like these you found comfort in the two. You then take Mingyu's cock into your mouth as Wonwoo wastes no time in pushing himself into your walls. The three of you moan in unison. Your warm mouth and the swirling of your tongue drove Mingyu crazy and how your tight walls clenched around Wonwoo made him close his eyes tight. Your hands helplessly try to grab the bed sheets but with the pleasure that is running through you, nothing worked.

Wonwoo and Mingyu start to thrust into you in sync. The erratic moans you had sent Mingyu into heaven. It felt perfect. "Taking our cocks so well darling," Mingyu grits. "Making us feel so good sweetheart. You like that? You like Mingyu and I filling your holes and using you like a whore don't you." Wonwoo starts to thrust into you with a rougher pace the second his hands slide onto your waist gripping it hard so he can feel you skin to skin.

You can feel that their releases were approaching and your second one for the night as well. You focus on running your tongue under Mingyu's cock and sucking it the way he reacted to it the best. As for Wonwoo, you tried to stabilize yourself but nothing was working. Your eyes roll back and it feels as if your body was falling into an abyss.

Wonwoo takes your legs and hooks them over his shoulders, "Mingyu and I've been thinking about this for the longest time. Wanted to fuck you well so you know who you belonged to. Mmm want you to be ours right Gyu?" Mingyu takes a second to control his breathing, "That's right baby. Want it so bad." The words that got uttered out of their mouths encouraged you to work harder to get them to their releases. Mingyu could not take it anymore. The combination of how you moan then hollow your cheeks right after made him shoot his seed into your mouth. You make sure he sees you waste nothing when swallowing everything you could.

Wonwoo starts to be slightly more vocal indicating that his release was approaching too. "You drive me so crazy." Wonwoo takes your hands and interlaces them with his. "Wonwoo. Oh my god Wonwoo." You repeat his name on and on, gripping his hands tight. Both of you were sent off the edge, Wonwoo spilling his load right into your abused hole.

Just like that, Wonwoo is soft again as you lay side by side coming down from your high. Mingyu had already walked off to get a towel to wipe you off. "Are you feeling alright?" Wonwoo asks, one of his hands never leaving yours."Yeah I feel great Wonwoo, thank you." You smile at him, feeling all bubbly in your stomach again.

"What Mingyu and I said just now, we meant it. Maybe you could give one of us a chance? Ever since you turned up to our house when both of us were ill and not minding the fact that you may fall sick too made us realize our honest feelings for you." You look at Wonwoo, you thought all they said was all the 'In the moment' type of things that you were gaslighting yourself into not believing it.

"How…" You mutter out. "Well you have Mingyu, never having the balls to come to face his feelings and like for example, dancing with other girls during prom. Or you have me, being well aware of how you make me feel and coming to face them. Like how I danced with you at prom well knowing that it may be the last time I would."

"I would love to have something like that, with the two of you. Been dreaming of it for a few years." Wonwoo seems shocked at what you said. At that time, Mingyu walks into the room. "Repeat that for us." Wonwoo orders. "Yeah, I would love to figure out something between the three of us if that's possible." You glance between the two, noticing how Mingyu's eyes widen. "We would love that." Wonwoo utters, looking at Mingyu in disbelief. Mingyu snaps out of his daze, "Now let's get you cleaned up shall we?"

That night you found yourself in between your two lovers, still trying to come to believe what happened in the span of a few hours. But how you woke up, legs tangled with them and getting showered with kisses, hugs and a great breakfast made you not regret a single thing.

"Maybe you could do what you've been wanting to do with us these couple of years you've been waiting for." Mingyu winks as Wonwoo gives you a knowing smirk oh you were so ready for what was to come.

an: after changing the plot like 4-5 times i might just wanna stick to writing hcs and reactions TT do lmk if i should continue w this !

reblogs and likes are appreciated, thank you :)

#seventeen fluff #seventeen #seventeen smut #mingyu seventeen #mingyu x reader #kim mingyu #seventeen mingyu #mingyu smut #wonwoo smut #seventeen wonwoo #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo seventeen #wonwoo x reader #mingyu #wonwoo #<3

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minki-moo · 7 months

Text

♡‧₊˚ 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 ♡‧₊˚

pairing ♡ bang chan x f!reader tags ♡ bf!chan, dom!chan, sub!reader, corruption, fingering, (f.receiving), multiple orgasms rating ♡ e for explicit w/c ♡ 1.5k

a/n ♡ soooo the drabble turned into a full fic :) and yes i was projecting again who's surprised

you and chan haven't been together for too long, only celebrating your 6 month anniversary recently. because of your inexperience in relationships (and sex), you asked chan if you could take it slow, not wanting to rush things and potentially becoming overwhelmed and ruining your relationship.

chan, being the amazing and understanding person he is, was completely fine with it; he loves you and wants to make sure you feel comfortable with him.

however, things started to change as time went on. the less than subtle stares from chan whenever you borrow his hoodies (they reach to your knees so you never felt the need to wear pants under them), and how his hands tended to linger whenever he held you.

you also realized feelings inside you whenever chan did certain things, like when he only wore sweatpants and a tank top around you or when he stretched and you caught a glimpse at his abs.

you always brushed off these feelings, feeling too embarrassed to bring them up, even though you know you shouldn't; chan was experienced and he wouldn't feel weirded out that his girlfriend has these feelings for him.

one night, chan invited you over to his place for a little pizza and movie date. you (once again to his pleasure) wore one of chan's oversized sweaters and snuggled up to him on the couch, oblivious to how you were affecting him. you constantly shifting in his lap was getting him worked up. he wondered briefly if you were doing this on purpose; knowing you, you probably had no idea what you were doing to him.

while you were entranced by the film, you felt chan's arms wrap around your waist and pull you closer to his chest, feeling his growing erection on your back.

"chan-", you whisper shyly.

"shh princess, focus on the movie."

you stiffen up a little as chan's hands find their way to your thighs, now slightly exposed. gently gripping them, chan pulls your legs apart, exposing your clothed pussy.

"do you want to feel good, princess? i can make you feel really good, ok?"

his sweet, innocent sounding whispers made you shiver. at that moment, you wanted chan to touch you, you wanted to feel good even if you didn't know what he would do to you.

you nod, giving chan your silent permission to keep going. he starts kissing your neck, occasionally sucking the soft, delicate skin. as your arousal builds up, you start desperately seeking any friction on your now wet pussy, but chan's large hands kept your thighs apart.

god, this was so embarrassing. the way chan had you like putty in his arms was almost laughable, but you couldn't help it. all the doubts you had about going further with him disappeared, only to be replaced with need.

"c-channie...."

"don't worry. i have you princess."

before you can say anything else, chan moves one of his hands closer to your pussy, moving so slowly you almost whimper in anticipation.

when his hand reaches its destination, his finger slowly rubs circles on your swollen clit, making you quietly moan and lean back into him.

chan bites your neck, forcing a yelp out of you. he had to stop himself from groaning at how cute you sounded, how helpless and needy his touch made you. it made him want to do more dirty things to you, things you never thought of doing. moving his fingers faster, he thought about how cute you would look on your knees, looking up at him with your innocent look as he guides his cock in your mouth. how fucking adorable you would look pinned down on his bed, begging to cum as he fucks your pussy, forcing orgasm after orgasm out of you.

your grip on chan's thighs tightens as something starts to build up in your core, threatening to spill over at any time. the faster chan's fingers go, the more your legs start to shake. the only things coming out of your mouth are whines, soft moans, and the occasional "channie".

"gonna cum princess?". chan's voice sounds deep yet breathy. "let go for me ok? i promise you'll feel really good."

following chan's instructions, you relax fully into his touch, slowly coming undone. your body writhes in his arms, almost screaming as your orgasm hits you.

"that's my good girl, you did so well for me princess."

the praise makes you giddy in your post-orgasm haze, but you're not able to process it as chan picks you up and takes him to his bedroom.

he places you on his bed, and takes off his clothes one by one. his hungry gaze never leaves you, making you feel small and submissive.

"now baby", he crawls so he's on top of you, his hands situated beside your head, "that was just the beginning. we're going to do a lot more ok?"

you nod.

chan runs his hands on your body, your sweater riding up to expose your stomach and now soaked panties. he moves his way down to your thighs, taking his time to admire a part of you he's fantasized about for so long; the urge to put his head in between them and ravish your sweet, dripping cunt is high.

but he has other plans, lifting up your hips and pulling your panties down. the sight in front of him could make him cum right there on the spot: you spread out on his bed, in his clothes, and your pussy on full display. he's almost sad that he's the only one who can see you like this.

almost.

chan takes his finger and runs it through your folds, another whine leaving your mouth as he brushes over your sensitive bud. without warning, he slips his finger inside of you and starts slowly thrusting, making you gasp.

"it's ok baby. i need to stretch your pussy if you're going to take my cock." he chuckles as he feels you tighten and your eyes widen at his words.

"you like that, princess? you want to feel my cock inside you?" he slips another finger inside you. "you want me to tell you how good you are for taking my cock?"

his fingers pumping inside you and his words bring you closer to the edge. "channie, please. 'm gonna cum again."

chan removes his fingers from inside you, leaving you empty to your disappointment. but its not long after that you feel his cock head enter your aching hole.

"channie, 's too big. you won't fit."

"i will princess." he rubs his thumb over your clit, your hips unconsciously grinding into his touch. "i'll make it fit"

with one quick thrust, chan's cock is half way inside your wet cunt, the feeling making him let out a groan; it was so much better then he imagined.

the sudden stretch made your back arch, your mouth open in a silent scream. the feeling was so different, and the burn made it slightly uncomfortable. but the feeling of chan's hot cock inside you made it worth it.

"ch-channie-"

"god, you feel so good princess". he hides his head in your neck, grinding his hips and forcing more and more of his cock into you.

he finally bottoms out, his pelvis flush with yours. the feeling was nothing like it was before. you can feel chan's whole cock inside you, warm and pulsing as the tip brushed against your sweet spot.

"channie, 'm so full, 's too much."

"you can take it, princess."

chan starts to move his hips, moving almost frantically as he thrusts inside you. the punched out moans you make only encourage him to move faster, your reactions making it hard to not cum.

but he refuses to. he will take his time with you. he needs to see you fall apart on his cock, until you've cum two, three, even four times.

the feeling from earlier starts to build up again, your orgasm approaching too quickly for you to handle.

"channiechanniechannie 'm gonna cum."

chan moves his hips faster, helping you chase your orgasm. "cum for me princess. show me how good you are and cum on my cock."

that was enough to make you literally explode. you see stars as your pussy clenches on chan's cock and a scream leaves your mouth, only muffled by chan's lips on yours.

"that's it, princess," he says in between kisses. "god, you did so well baby. you'll cum for me again, ok." his last statement was more of an order than a question.

still blissed out from your high, you notice chan is still very much hard inside you, slowly moving and making you gasp at the sensitivity.

"channie, please i can-"

he snaps his hips again, cries leaving your mouth as he picks up the pace again.

"c-channie please i c-can't anymo-"

"one more time, ok? you can do that for me, right princess? just until i fill you up with my cum."

a/n ♡ this is probably my fav so far i love it >-<

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drdemonprince · 8 months

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Can we really expand our window of tolerance as autistic people? I’ve been working on that kind of thing for so long and I can’t tell if I’ve made any genuine progress or if I’ve just unconsciously doubled down on masking :(

We can! But our expanded distress tolerance can't come out of nowhere. Something has to give. So for example, for me, I have way fewer sensory issues these days than I used to have, by a wide margin, and I have significantly less social anxiety and don't need much social recharge time on the level that I used to. I have more distress tolerance for sensory input and for social stressors now than I ever have before -- but this has required lifestyle changes and unmasking in order to get there. Let me break down both these improvements and how they happened:

Even as recently as a year ago, I would have terrible sensory meltdowns on a regular basis. But I haven't had a single sensory meltdown in months, maybe not even a single one for the entirety of 2023 so far? And that's because I have a) cut out caffeine, dramatically reducing my physiological stress levels, b) cut back on some workplace stress by reducing my commitments, c) stopped taking on additional projects outside of work that I didn't want to do and that only caused me stress (workshops and talks), and d) began working from home far more consistently, and made myself a wfh office that is more comfortable.

Now I operate from a really solid base of sensory comfort most days and I'm not overloaded with information or overwhelmed with obligations. This means I am far more tolerant of screaming people on the bus, the upstairs toddler slamming her feet on the floor, ambulances blaring by, noisy concerts, people bumping into me at the bar, etc.

I also am, for the first time in my life, clear-headed enough to recognize when I am starting to experience sensory distress, and can intentionally put on sunglasses or pop in ear plugs or remove myself from an upsetting situation more quickly. I had to experience what being relaxed and not overstimulated felt like, and get accustomed to living that way, in order to recognize subtler signs that I was feeling shitty and take steps to address those small annoyances before they exploded. I can handle a lot "more" in an intentional way now because I built my life to allow "less." My overall distress tolerance has still expanded -- but it's because I stopped masking and began attending to my sensory and stress regulation needs.

For the social piece, my distress tolerance has also gone up due to unmasking. If I was still motivated by passing as NT or being socially acceptable all the time, I'd be so overwhelmed being around people and worn down by every interaction. I also wouldnt be able to advocate for myself. But in the past few years I've become more and more openly weird and outspoken in my needs and true feelings, and I've recognized that the right people actually love me more when I do so and show up for me, and so being honest or even difficult to deal with is not really a threat.

This means I just don't experience much distress being honest or difficult to deal with anymore. I really can tolerate the discomfort of telling someone they're wrong or that I'm hurt without freaking out about being hurt or abandoned, because I've had a lot of good experiences with it and because I enjoy being unmasked so deeply that I just can't put my personality back in a bottle.

Masking lowers distress tolerance because it frays your nerves with stress and wears you out and bars you from ever getting to attend to and regulate your discomfort when there are signs of it happening. In order to increase your distress tolerance, you actually have to learn to better honor your discomfort early, and preventatively, so that you don't bubble over into a meltdown after days or weeks of ignoring your needs.

I think some people think distress tolerance is about becoming more tough, but it's quite the opposite. We become more resilient by getting better at recognizing and attending to our hurts.

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thefiery-phoenix · 7 months

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YANDERE NATASHA ROMANOFF HEADCANONS

If you are her love interest and if she's taken an interest in you, my advice is to just accept her love and feelings. Trust me, it's for the best of everyone

As a yandere she is literally EVERYTHING: Obsessive, possessive till no extent, can be manipulative at times if you don't listen to her and heck, violent as well which I guess should not have been THAT much of a surprise

She's gone through so much of training in these years and she's actually glad she did since now she doesn't even have to think twice to put her skills to good use and make sure you're 'safe' from the world. Natasha is a VERY strong person so it's pretty much pointless to win against her in battle

As much as she's literally aching to have you by her side she won't kidnap you at first. No no, she'll give you some time, she isn't THAT heartless. She'll try the traditional way of courting you, hoping you'll fall in love with her and that sort of thing. Expect LOTS and LOTS of flowers, candy and jewelry

This woman here and read you like an open book no joke. And heck, she might even know you better than you know yourself. She studies and knows EVERYTHING about you and YES, that even includes that Tumblr and Wattpad account you haven't told a single soul about till date. She'll even hack into your social media to see what you're up to and if anyone was flirting with you on Instagram or Snapchat, welp... that poor schmuck is not going to see the face of the Earth within the next 24 hours that's for sure

She may or may not have stalked you at times 'just for your safety' of course and she might have installed little teeny cameras in your room so she can watch you when you're not with her just for her to know that you're safe. She won't watch you shower though, that's a no no. As much as she stalks the living crap out of you she respects privacy and she won't invade your personal space and boundaries too much

Remember that 'friend' of yours who was laughing and touching your knee 'by mistake' when your were working on a project together in your room? Oh wow... a BODY has been discovered! And no surprises on WHO killed that guy. What? He was too close for comfort according to Natasha when she was watching you through her camera and she HAD to take action! And besides, that moron should have known better than to touch you like that

Of course, innocent you won't suspect Nat AT ALL since she wouldn't know who he was and why some of your friends went missing recently. She doesn't even KNOW them (Or DOES she ;) ?) and so, you'll turn to her for help since she's your best friend. Of course, as much as Natasha is pleased and feeling on top of the world that you decided to come to HER of all people for help, she also feels a little guilty since she was the one who made you freak out and panic a little and so, being the really good friend she is, she'll whisper sweet words of comfort in your ear, some in Russian I guess and will hold you and be your shoulder to cry on

She'll convince you to move in with her to which you'll hesitate at first but when she tells you that you might be in danger and that 'someone' who got rid of your friends could be after you next. She'll use that same excuse for you to be with her just so she can protect you and keep you safe. Crafty and smart

She won't exactly do anything to the other Avengers if they talk to you for too long since she practically sees them as family ESPECIALLY Steve and Bucky but if Tony tries hitting on you, with one raise of an eyebrow from Natasha will send him going back to working on his invention with Bruce

You'll find yourself to be depending on her rather quickly and she's really happy that you're depending on her for things. She'll start showing affection to you slowly and lightly at first and the way you react is just SO CUTE for her! Like she won't be able to control herself any longer when she sees your cute blushing and flustered face. You fuel her obsession every single minute you spend with her

She'll finally ask you to be hers and if you say yes, you'll get all her love and affection. You'll be the happiest person in the world and no matter what it is that you desire she will get it for you. Now, if you deny her you better be ready to kiss your freedom goodbye since it's going to go out of the window and down the drain even if you don't realize it just yet. She'll play it off like she's a bit disappointed and she's fine but inside she feels like she's breaking and her heart is sinking

Brings you something to drink later on 'as an apology' and she'll sneakily mix a sleeping pill or something to knock you out inside and BOOM! You'll be lights out before you can even say 'Avengers Assemble'. Don't be too surprised when you wake up in a really different room with your feet and hands tied up to the bed in an underground bunker or something like that out in the sticks. No one's gonna hear you scream for help

She'll keep you safe and sound and you're all she needs according to her. You will love her eventually even if she HAS to force you to. She wanted you for so long and now, she'll never let you go....

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timchalamet-devoted · 5 days

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Long Distance

I haven't had any energy to write recently, but I found this in my drafts from a while ago, so I thought I'd post it! I feel like it rants on a bit too much, so I hope it's alright. <3

Summary: Long distance is difficult, but you and Timmy power through

Pairing: Timothée x fem.reader

Fluff!

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Masterlist

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The familiar beep sounded through the silent room. It read 2:56 am on the screen of your phone, as you unplugged it from its charger and opened facetime, forcing your eyes open. Nothing yet. While waiting for the nightly phone call, you propped yourself up onto your elbows, and your eyes wandere to the right of you, where your thin, white curtains swayed and flapped slightly from the mild breeze that entered through the open balcony door; the night air cooled your hot skin, pleasant and blissful. Due to the transparency of the fabric, you could quite clearly make out the full moon, that cast its heavenly glow across your bed and your uncovered figure, blankets laying discarded somewhere on the floor, curtesy of the dense summer air. Despite the time, the roads below were alive with distant sounds of chatter, cars rushing by, teenagers emerging from another nightclub. You found London to be like New York: it was a city that, indeed, never slept.

You were snapped out of your thoughts as your phone vibrated in your hand, presenting you with a glorious sight. Not wanting to wait a moment longer, you quickly pressed 'accept', and a face flooded the screen. It was the face of your favourite person, the one you so longed to touch, and kiss and see, yet couldn't for another dreadful 2 months.

"Y/NNN!!!" His bright eyes shined at you.

"TIMMY!!"

He had the goofiest smile spread across his face, and at this point, so did you. The day had dragged on, boring and exhausting, but the thought of seeing this face kept you giddily ploughing through.

It was no secret that long-distance sucked, and unfortunately, you and Timothée were no exception to this burden of being actors. Timmy was in Budapest, working on Dune part 2, and at the same time, you were in London, filming your next project. You absolutely loved your job, it was one you dreamed of from the age of 11, however not being able to come home together with Timothée, or to hold him in your arms was heartbreaking for the both of you.

Your cheeks flushed red as you lay your eyes upon the gorgeous brown locks framing his face, the pools of green that were admiring you through the screen, and that toothy smile, that told you he was just as happy to see you.

"You look so beautiful mon amour"

"As do you," you smiled, feeling happier than you were all day. Sometimes, you didn't even need to talk during your calls; sometimes, it was enough to just look at each other and to know that the other was just a phone call away. Most of the time, however, you spent these blessed minutes making utter fools of yourself. But that was what you loved about your relationship: it was one where you trusted each other fully and loved every inch and aspect of each other. You two were practically best friends - and well you were. You understood each other like no one else could, never afraid that you would look silly or embarrassing in front of the other. There was no such thing. You could be as ridiculous as your heart desired, and Timmy would still look at you with pure adoration in his eyes and the same for you. You were eachothers safe spaces, of love and vulnerability. Although you never felt vulnerable around him; for you knew that he would do anything his power to protect you.

You spent a good while asking each other questions back and forth, suppressing the yawns that took over your bodies. Despite the longing, it felt good to talk to your boy, and to exchange your feelings of anwavering love for eachother, even though it was often accompanied by a silly gesture or a remark that only you would send you both into fits of giggles. At one point, Timmy pretended to pick his nose, pouting as he did. You instantaniously screenshotted this, smiling to yourself, knowing you'd soon assign it as your new wallpaper.

As your conversation went on, your eyes grew heavier by the minute, and so did Timothée's. You fell silent, simply gazing into his eyes, him staring right back. You could see the endless shades of green, dancing in his eyes, those eyes that said I love you.

You knew it long before, but now, in this moment of peace and yearning, you relished in the fact that you knew you wanted to spend every last one of your minutes with him. Your boy. Your Timmy.

#timothee #timothee chalamet #timothée #timothée chalamet #timothee x y/n #timothee imagine #timothee x reader #timothee fluff #timothee blurb #timothee fic

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wordsnstuff · 1 year

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Hiya! Just wondering, what unusual and unique ways have helped you get out of a writer's creative block?

Let's talk *briefly* about writer's block.

Yes, this will be long, but I think it will help you.

It's been a long time since I was in a regular posting schedule for this blog, and that is upsetting to me (and many of you, I'm aware). For a significant chunk of that time, I considered writer's block to be the primary reason for this, but looking back on the nearly three years I've spent attempting over and over to return to the schedule and routine I once maintained, I have accepted that writer's block was never the problem. Not the way I thought.

I have, and I'm sure I'm not the only one, always thought of writer's block as if it's a tangible condition or something that happens to you, like a cold. That conclusion always prompted me to seek a solution (for instance, motivational content or exterior inspiration or anything that would enhance my capacity for self discipline). Because I thought of it as something that just developed naturally, I focused very little on the root of the issue and consequently it never seemed to improve.

For most of us, the past three years have ranged from severely abnormal to deeply traumatic, and though a lot of mythology around the process of art and inspiration tells us that conflict and pain inform a good portion of creativity, I have to admit that none of what the world has been through recently has made me want to write. When you and everyone you know have been in a survival mindset for several years, the seemingly trivial pleasure of creating fiction or sharing content about the process feels overwhelming. Every time I've returned to this space that I created long before experiencing any of this turmoil, especially because this turmoil occurred during the dawn of my adulthood, it has felt like a silly attempt at denial.

My writer's block, and I'm sure many others', was not simply a case of burnout or lack of inspiration. It's not that I had been pushing myself too hard without allowing for reasonable time for rest and recharging my mind, or that I simply ran out of ideas or reasons to want to continue. Even when you have the deepest of passion for a craft, you will always be human and therefore always affected by your environment and the events in your life. When you find yourself unable to put the pen to the paper, instead of asking what you can do to change that, ask why you're struggling in the first place. Focus on the cause, not the effect.

For me, a lot of my difficulty with writing has come from my environment and the mindset it has put me in. I am currently in university, so whether I like it or not, I have to write here and there and pull myself together to be able to do that. Every time I do so, I wonder why I can't enforce that same authority on myself for my personal projects, and it's because, for a long while, my environment has not been conducive to that effort. I haven't had the control over my schedule and responsibilities that I used to have, and finding a balance between these responsibilities and my personal goals has has a learning curve. All of these circumstances, for better or worse, have affected my mental state and my ability to write.

I did not have the freedom or even the energy to put in practice the exercises that helped me before, and as a result I haven't been writing. Coming out of that struggle hasn't been a matter of waiting for things to change or get better, it's been putting my energy toward a new process of trial and error. Since accepting that my new reality is here to stay, the priority has been finding new ways to work around it and specifically, work with it. This acceptance can require a lot of difficult reflection, and this can reach beyond your desire to write and into your desire to live a good life in general. It can feel silly or humiliating or patronizing to approach this reflection from the very bottom of things, and this includes the basics.

It may seem silly to consider the basics when the problem feels so extreme, but when you're consistently forgetting the casual maintenance of your mind and body, you will consistently find yourself failing to accomplish much beyond the bare minimum. If you struggle with mental health, this will be even more evident. Basic things like hydration, diet, sleep, movement, interaction, and joy will always be the most effective place to start when addressing why you cannot write. Once you have verified that these needs are met, then the presence of a deeper problem will reveal itself, but you'll never know if that's the case unless you check the other boxes.

So, you've checked the basics and they're all fine but you're still experiencing writer's block. Have you made time in your daily schedule for intentional rest? Are you coming home at the end of a long day and jumping straight into writing or keeping up with your duties at home or simply falling in front of a screen for a few hours? None of these things are rest. Distracting yourself with noise or housekeeping is not rest, and when it's all you do after a full day of other responsibilities, you haven't truly spent a moment with yourself finding fulfilling joy or relaxation. Yes, they can be compelling and very difficult habits within your routine to let go of, especially if you struggle to function without something occupying the back of your mind, but rest is extremely important to the creative process. If you like to scroll online a little bit or watch an episode of your comfort show after you get home to unwind, that's great. But in order to truly take advantage of your free time, try to optimize it by being intentional about the way you're experiencing it. Try not to fall into a routine of distraction because that isn't rest and it won't satisfy any of your needs.

Have you incorporated things into your routine that will contribute to your motivation to write? I don't mean you should put Stephen King quotes as your desktop screensaver or watch videos of people writing to make you want to participate. Those things help some people and that's great, but consuming things that make you think or bring you pleasure like books and well written movies or shows or music or podcasts can be just as impactful as anything else you do for your creative process. It's not just about what you do, it's about how others inspire you, and it's one thing to say you love books and reading and learning, and it's another to actually do them every day like you would wash your face or brush your teeth.

Whether you write as a hobby or an aspiration or a job, the creative process remains the same. It's important to remain consistent with the things you do to maintain your ability to write as much as it is to remain consistent with your actual writing routine. As a general rule of thumb, writer's block doesn't come from nowhere. If you want to alleviate it, you have to target the root of the problem or it will continue appearing on the surface. There is no one-size-fits-all cure to it and there are no "top ten wacky ways I solved years of executive dysfunction with the right chrome extension or tea flavor or candle scent or by typing upside down". This is internal work you will need to do, but it starts with trusting yourself. It is never too late to return to your passion. You will build it back up like a muscle, but you have to heal first.

I sincerely hope this helps,

Kate

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#writer's block #motivation #inspiration #writeblr #writing #writer #writespo #writing community #creative writing #on writing #writers on tumblr #advice #writing advice #writers #write #qna

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tuffmallowinteractive · 9 days

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Tuff Mallow Update 4/18/24

Let's talk about all the things.

I've always been a "tell you like it is" person to a fault. I have never had a problem being direct, even if it has been awkward sometimes communicating.

So if I haven't had anything to say, you can be sure something serious is up.

Most recently I moved. And it was necessary. I was in a previous living situation that made game dev nearly impossible. I'd kept trying though, even as the world was crashing around me, while trying to keep up a front that everything was good. My dev friends were like "JmB, things are not okay."

It was a hard pill to swallow. So I doubled my efforts, took on more work and finally moved and wow have things been moving fast since then!

I went to GDC 2024!!

Having peace of mind in my own home was already awesome, but then the opportunity to go to GDC arose and I couldn't turn it down! I traveled to San Francisco and attended the week long event for people of the gaming industry, via a scholarship initiative by Black Voices in Gaming! I learned so much and made so many connections with talented phenomenal game industry professionals. But most importantly, I came to understand that this little Mallow has a place in the gaming industry. That the way I am is valid. That I don't need to be perfect, and that other game professionals want to see other creatives succeed and are also actively working towards that goal. It was inspiring and humbling and I never felt more a part of a community. It just reminds me to try harder to build up the creatives around me because if we all come up together, we come up strong!

Well Now We Are Back in Action!

I am back home. Finally stabilizing a workable schedule. And finally able to finish the things I promised! I owe people content!

- The Closet Door main release

- Background art to clients

- Chibi art to a supporter

- Some art for upcoming jam releases (shhhh)

There's so much going on this month!

I want so desperately to promise that TCD will be out next month- I mean all I have to do is finish coding the game in!

But for now...

I'm just taking it one step at a time.

You'll definitely know when I release this game (as well as announce the other projects I've been fortunate to be a part of, as well as the solo projects I've been working on behind the scenes. Because I am SO READY!!

As soon as I can officially make a beta version of The Closet Door (late April or Early May), things will move pretty fast! So at that time I hope you will still be with me on this journey, as it's been hell for us all getting here. I'll most likely announce it on all media channels.

Professionals Do... Their Best

I'm thankful. Always thankful. I would never have made it this far without the kindness people have shown me.

I am not perfect.

Professionals are not perfect. And I refuse to attempt perfection anymore, as I've learned just how toxic that can be to anyone's physical and mental health.

Best believe at any point that I am striving to do the best I can. I will always give the best of what I've got to my work and to others if I can help in any way.

And I will continue to strive towards being genuine and expressing those beliefs in everything I do and make.

I probably won't post another very personal dev post like this again. But it needed to be said.

For those of you who don't know me, I'm AlwaysJmB.

And I am doing my best. 💗

Until next time~

#tuff mallow #amare game #theclosetdoor #visual novel #otome news #otome

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gamebunny-advance · 2 months

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Let's Just Rip Off This Band-Aid (Kliff Doll Repaint)

I still haven't finished adding the fringe to his scarf, but at this point, I don't think y'all will actually care that much. It's a personal project anyway, so I'll just finish it on my own time. Right now, I want to be released from the shackles of this project.

Once again, my poor camera and lack of editing do him no favors (he's got a real bad case of jaundice in that first pic. I PROMISE he's not that yellow-orange IRL ;o;), but he is (mostly) done.

Well, he was (mostly) done like a week ago, but just yesterday I decided to redo a few things to try and "fix" what was really bothering me about him, so I really made recursive progress. That said, I do like him more now than I did a week ago, so I'm not mad about it.

A little backstory: Alongside Kun3h0, I've been working on him for the past month, so I've been pretty occupied with this project for a while. Now, I do wonder to myself why exactly I thought making this would be a good idea. All I can really say is that my impulsive tendencies drive me to do things against my better judgement.

But, I will still give y'all my documentation and thoughts on the process + more pictures.

(I'll talk a little more about it later, but for those of you that aren't going to go through the long-ass readmore, the Neon J. mask is a reference to an old comic I drew.)

(It's so old, I was still writing everything by hand~)

So, the "real" answer to "why" I made this is really as simple as "because I could." As I said in the Kun3h0 post, I've been wanting to repaint dolls for a long time, years even, so in the back of my mind, I'm always thinking of ways I could finally start one.

Well, recently I just finally put together the ideas and motivation I needed to start. And of course, that was with Kliff.

I don't remember *exactly* how I stumbled across everything, but I do recall looking at doll clothes online and stumbling across this trench coat (pictured with the other clothes for this project).

(I took this pic mostly because I thought I was going to take pics of every major step of the process, but that didn't end up happening).

I thought it was pretty darn close to Kliff's coat, and I got the horrible idea that, "I could def make a Kliff doll to go with this coat as long as I can repaint it."

I feel like usually people would think the other way around, but that is basically the truth of this project: I didn't find clothes to fit the doll, I made the doll to fit into the clothes. Because for me, customizing the doll wasn't really the intimidating part: it's making the clothes. I don't know how to use a sewing machine, and currently lack the patience to learn (and due to some personal trauma that I don't really want to get into), but I can hand-sew, so starting any project that involves it requires me to be willing to set aside a lot of energy for me to do it, which I don't often have.

But, if I could find ways to cut down on the sewing, then I'd be more willing to start. And somehow, I was able to find just about everything I would need for a potential Kliff doll without having to sew anything. In the end, I only sewed together one thing, and it's the one thing that isn't actually finished: the scarf.

So, I blame the trench coat for the entirety of this project: if I'd never seen it, I would have never made a Kliff doll. In fact, I got the clothes before I even had the doll.

Since I was brainstorming this project, one of the most important parts is of course the base doll, which was tricky. Male doll repaints are fairly uncommon, especially of older men, so there weren't a lot of resources or places to get inspiration for this project.

From what I found, most male (fashion) dolls were very youthful, and the ones that weren't usually took heavy modifications to achieve, which was out of the question. Kliff was supposed to be an "easy" project, so on top of not wanting to sew any clothes for him, I also didn't want to have to alter the doll that much to make it look like him. This was a lot to ask for without putting in any personal work, but in a way, this goal was supposed to keep me from actually starting this project: really this whole thing was supposed to just live in my head as a fantasy as most things do, but then I just stumbled into the right set of things, so I couldn't stop myself from going through with it.

The doll I landed on was a BTS Mattel doll. Now I've said before that I know basically nothing about BTS, and that is still true, but that's beside the point. In my research for finding a suitable doll to work with, I found out that a popular base were these BTS dolls. At first, I wasn't into it because I was still running into the "youthful face" problem that I was with other brands: most of them had pillowy lips and nice soft faces, but I did eventually find one that I thought was close enough: J-Hope.

(It's not the worst match up.)

I don't have pics of my doll before I started working on him, but it was pretty close to the stock photo. He has much thinner lips than the others, and a taller, more angular head shape that I thought would work best for Kliff. I did worry a bit that the nose wasn't "strong" enough to really be Kliff (and IMO, it wasn't XP), but it was the closest I found yet, so I decided to bite the bullet and get one, and if I had one, that meant I needed to start gathering everything I would need for this project.

So, no backing out now.

Now, actually acquiring this doll was a whole other song and dance, but here's the part that's important for how the process went:

Due to a miscommunication with the seller I eventually got him from, there was a delay with shipping, so I didn't actually get him until weeks after "officially" starting this project. In the meantime, the clothes and things for Kun3h0 (who I started as an impulse project within the impulse project) had already been gathered.

The original plan was that I was going to work on and subsequently post about Kliff first since he was a comparatively simpler project. All the things I was avoiding for Kliff: sewing clothes and making modifications to the doll, were all going to be incorporated into Kun3h0, so she was theorhetically going to take longer and be posted later, thus telling a small story of "starting simple, ending complex." But since I didn't have his doll, but didn't want to delay working on Kun3h0 just to wait on him, I started on her and repainting his clothes anyway.

So, I don't have any pics of the doll or his clothes from when I was working on them, unlike the sparse ones I had for Kun3h0, I only have pics from after he was finished.

But I'll still tell y'all what I can to at least preserve the story.

For starters, repainting this coat was probably the most time-consuming part of this process.

I really thought that it would take one or two days maximum to turn this coat bright yellow, but I think it actually took over a week. And I really should have known; the coat was a medium tone, and I know that yellow takes a while to build up on anything that isn't light. I lost count at some point, but I swear that thing has over 20 coats of paint on it. Mind you, the first 10 or so coats were watered down with the textile medium, which also contributed to how long it was taking for the coat to take color, but at some point I just got so frustrated that I stopped mixing in the medium and painting directly onto the coat to get the color to layer faster. This is a huge no-no for painting acrylics onto fabric, lest the paint crack from creasing the fabric, but I just couldn't be bothered anymore. I needed this thing to be dandelion yellow NOW or I was gonna lose it.

There were consequences for taking that shortcut, such as the paint cracking in high motion areas and the coat getting stiff, but it's not terrible. In the end, I accepted the trade-offs or else I might still be painting the coat. Perhaps one day I'll reverse engineer the pattern for the coat and make him a new one, but I wouldn't count on it. In retrospect, I wonder if I would have had an easier time if I had thought to bleach the coat first?

As you might notice, I contoured/shaded part of the coat in orange. That's something that I actually *just* added yesterday and added another couple of hours to the work time. It was just bothering me that the doll was essentially a giant slab of yellow, and was part of the reason I didn't like it very much. But I got inspired by this repaint to try contouring the coat to give it more depth.

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(I also used this person's videos to modify the hands. He has one deidcated to just reshaping the BTS hands.)

In the end, I'm pretty happy with the results.

The rest of the clothes weren't as difficult to deal with.

The pants took the paint a lot better, likely due to being dark paint on a light surface. Since I used less paint, it's not as stiff as the coat and still go on very easily. Though, they are VERY high waisted, and I'm not sure if that's normal XP

The shoes are also painted (and slightly modified), though I had to paint them twice because the first time, the paint got stretched off when I tried to put them on the doll's feet: the shoes were just *slightly* too small for the feet of the doll, so they really get stretched to fit his feet, and his heels don't actually go in all the way XP.

He's still capable of standing on his own, but I try not to remove the shoes, so I can avoid having them crack again.

In my "initial clothes" pic, I put down a different shirt than the one he's wearing. The original plan was to repaint the shirt black, but my work space is very limited, so I couldn't really repaint three pieces of clothes at once without significantly risking that I would stain other things. In the end, after getting scarred by how long it was taking for the coat to take color, I decided to just give him one of the black shirts that came with the coat. This does make him somewhat inaccurate since the current shirt has flowers/plants on it, but I'm gonna say that they make up for the lack of flowers on his scarf. Maybe someday I'll make him a new shirt from an old sock or something, but for now, I don't think it's a bad look.

Other clothing of note is the scarf, but since it's not technically finished I didn't take any close pics of it. It's actually made of an old headband of mine that I just cut and painted to look like his scarf.

Originally, I had actually glued on ribbon to it for the stripes, which took a couple days for the drying, but because I couldn't flatten out the scarf to easily glue the ribbon, it turned into a mess and bulked it out too much: since the scale of the doll is already small, I really needed to keep the fabrics thin. This was especially important for the scarf since it was going to wrap around his neck: if it were any thicker, it was going to practically eat up his face, which it still does, just less so.

Speaking of face...

When I finally got the doll in the mail, I started working on him right away, so I don't have any "before" pics of the doll.

After I did the usual "wiping off the face and pulling out his hair," I started with repainting the entire body and head.

Despite Kliff being ambigously "WHITE 🫵," Kliff isn't as pale as the original doll. I'd say even the stock picture I posted above has more warmth than the actual doll did. So, I got the base to be "coral" all over, dusted him in light orange chalk pastels for contouring, and most of his details are outlined in shades of burgandy. I didn't take any nude pics of this doll, but he is countoured all over his body and you can rest easy knowing I gave him some nips XP. But maybe someday I'll show y'all doll!Kliff's washboard abs XP.

TBH, I did want to detail some tattoos and some body hair too, but I just didn't trust myself to do either of those well with the tools I have (my brushes aren't thin enough, and my hand not steady enough for those kind of intricate details). Maybe someday I'll at least get his tattoos in (and after I've actually designed them XP), but we'll see. I don't plan on having the doll in short sleeved clothes very often, so details like that are the least of my concerns.

TBH, I was pretty proud of how the face paint originally went on. I really took my time to make sure it went down flat. It really was beautifully smooth~

But disaster struck.

I had painted the head while it was still separated from the body, and when it finally came time to reunite them, the paint on the head cracked and peeled when I shoved it back on. And, foolish fool that I am, instead of accepting my losses and starting over from a perfectly clean head, I just peeled the lose ends and repainted the exposed parts, which of course made the paint uneven. I somewhat justified this with the idea that most of it would be covered by other details, but in retrospect, I really should have just started over properly.

But, after that ordeal was over with, it was time to actually work on the face.

I can't clearly remember if I worked on Kun3h0 or Kliff's face first. I think I worked on them simultaneously because it took me a LONG time to actually get the courage to work on Kun3h0's face.

I thought I did a decent job on Kun3h0 since I really only had the 1 eye to repaint (the hidden eye is painted, but it's basically just a void with no details), and it was a bigger "canvas", so it was easier to paint. Besides having 2 eyes that I would need to make nearly identical, they were also a lot smaller, so it took a lot longer to paint them in a way that satisfied me (and since it's not easy to "redo" acrylic paint, his eyes lost a lot of smoothness too).

Again, I don't have any "before" pics, so it won't be easy for me to convey my troubles about it, but I do want to say that I think Kliff with a closed mouth is very cursed.

He just looks like he's itching to say something heinous and that is no different for the doll.

It was so difficult for me both match his expression on a face that wasn't *completely* his and still look like him. Although I chose this doll because he most resembled Kliff, he was never gonna be a perfect likeness of him, but despite knowing this, it still bothered me that the face was still just very "young" looking.

Granted, I don't think the original Kliff looks *that* old either (if I didn't know any better, I would assume he was in his 30s, not his 50s, especially compared to other characters around the same age), but still not as *smooth* as the doll is (even with my paint mishaps).

If you can believe it, the face actually used be worse. I don't have pics of it, but like the coat, I actually repainted his face yesterday to again try and fix what was making me dislike it before. I think the problem is that I didn't outline the eyes as much as the final one (like, I don't think I lined his undereye at all), so he was lacking depth. The mouth was also a little more off. Instead of being like "<--->" it was more like "|-|"

(A rough illustration of what I'm trying to describe.)

So, while it's still not perfect, I do like him more today than I did a week ago.

I think the only things left to talk about are his accessories, starting with his wig:

I'm not actually a big fan of the color. When I started this project, I wanted to try and make him as accurate as possible, and the original Kliff design has a very "cherry jolly rancher" hair color.

However, how I draw him and how he appears in Encore Edition gives his hair a more red-orange tone which isn't as intense. In the end, I opted for accuracy towards his first design since that's the one I was technically most familiar with and wanted to replicate, but in retrospect, I should have realized that I was never gonna be able to seperate my personal quirks from this personal project, so I should have gone with a color that was more accurate to how I interpret him. (I dunno if I would have gone as far as to give him triangular eyes, but one of my biggest takeaways from this project has been that I should have just allowed this to be "my take" on the character instead of trying to be "accurate," meeting in the middle, and satisfying neither condition.)

I don't think I really got across how much I HATED brushing out yarn for the wigs when I posted Kun3h0. It was just such a tedidus process, from brushing it out, to straightening it, to gluing it down. It was such a mess. I'm still finding loose wisps of yarn hair floating around my home since I made them.

Since I had more than had my fill from making Kun3h0's wig, I once again started taking shortcuts when it came to Kliff: I really should have made more wefts for him. I figured since his hair was (compartively) shorter, that I wouldn't need to make as many, but in the end his wig turned out both too thin and too thick.

Since his hair is so messy, I didn't follow any kind of guide for his hair like I did Kun3h0. I basically just glued around the perimeter of the cap, horizontally on the inside, and made sure it would fold over in the front.

Part of the problem is that I made the wefts too thick: instead of just gluing down what could actually touch the surface of the work area, I wound up gluing layers on top of each other, so the wefts would be like a mm thick when they should have been less than half of that. So, I barely got enough coverage for the scalp, and the parts that I did get down are very thick. I think it makes his head look bigger than it should which kinda adds to the uncanniness of him.

I did try to style it as close to canon as possible, but there are some things that just aren't (easily) possible in certain mediums, and Kliff's wild hair is one of them.

In retrospect, I probably should have just sculpted his hair with clay or something: it probably would have been more accurate, but I don't have much confidence in my sculpting ability, and again, I didn't want to modify the doll that much, so I stuck with the yarn.

I might suck it up and try and make him a new wig, I still have a LOT of red yarn left over, so maybe I can make him some new styles too. But the tedium of going through with it makes it very unlikely that I'll follow through~

(The wig from other angles.)

Since the beard is made from the same yarn, I'll lightly talk about that. There aren't too many resources about bearded dolls, but I've seen people root it, glue it, and even just paint it if they weren't supposed to be thick. In the end I used this repaint for reference (suggestive content warning) and glued it on.

youtube

The scarf covers most of it, but I think it turned out okay. I need to add just a *little* more to his left cheek, but otherwise I feel like I was successful.

Next, it's usually hidden due to all the crap that's on his head, but I did give him an earring.

I didn't think about it until way too late in the process, and I tried to poke a hole through his ear so he could actually wear it. However, when I tried to do so, I almost ruined his head paint a second time. Saying, "fuck that," I decided to just glue it on.

If I had been more brave with modifying this doll, I might have just resculpted his ears entirely, because, being based on a real life human being, the doll's ears don't flare out that much, so they're easily covered by other things.

His glasses are just a piece of painted plastic that hold to his face using some plastic cord. They fit well while his wig is off, but putting them on with everything else is a goddamn nightmare.

Since his ears are so small, and his hair is so short, there's nothing for the glasses to "grab" onto without the cord, but the cord is too short to fit around the wig once it's on, but I can't make the cord longer to sit over the wig, because the glasses need to go over the headband, and it's a pain in the ass trying to layer everything like that.

So, I have to put the glasses in place first, TAPE the cord to his scalp so they don't move, put on the wig, then put on the headband. It's really such a hassle, but I don't think I can truly convey the annoyance of having to do it all without showing you. So, unless I absolutely have to, I'm never taking any of those things off him again.

I think the last things are the headband, mask, and tablet.

The headband is just a spare scrunchy that I have. I don't have one in the *exact* same color as the real one, so I went with the closest one I had, which was this teal color.

I didn't feel comfortable repainting one since it's essentially an elastic band, I don't think the paint, even with the textitle medium, would be able to hold up to all the stretching I have to do to even get it on his head.

If I happen to find a white one somewhere in my stash, then I might try dyeing it using water and acrylic paints to see if I can get it green, but for now, I think this works. A little thick, but it works.

The tablet is just a piece of foam painted with paint markers and the mask is a piece of cardboard. I wasn't planning on really recreating any scenes with this doll, but since I remembered that comic, and thought it would be easy enough to make, I went ahead and made it as an in-joke to myself.

Honestly, I think it's the most charming piece of the entire ensemble. Plus, he can wear it without me having undo/redo any of his other head accessories, so it's easy to make him wear it whenever.

My final comments about the doll itself are that he's fucking huge. I should have taken a pic of him next to Kun3h0, but he is too tall to even fit on my display shelf without sitting.

(Please ignore any mess you might see in the reflection. This is just one of the only flat pieces of furniture he can stand on without me standing on something to take a pic.)

Despite my interests, I don't actually collect dolls (I'm more into figures and plushies), so I wasn't expecting him to be so big. In fact, Kun3h0, who would be considered a small to medium doll in collector's spaces, was also bigger than I thought she'd be, so you can imagine my surprise when I got my hands on him.

So... I don't really know where I can put him. He obviously can't live in front of my TV, but beyond being too big for my shelf, he also doesn't fit in with any of my other collectibles. And I'll be honest, the contrast of him "clearly not belonging" among my more "kawaii" items was a motivator in starting this project, I live for the gap moe after all, but in practice he really just sticks out like a sore thumb. (This is also why his first pics are in a slightly different location without many props. I just couldn't put together anything from my collection or find a spot among my things to take a good thematic pic with. The magazines/CDs he's with are from my dad's collection.)

I do have space at higher elevations in my room, but it's kinda off putting to have him staring down my room, looking like he's plotting something (my space is too small to ignore it). So I dunno what I'm gonna do with him. I did have plans to make him some... cuter outfits so he wouldn't stick out as much, but that requires sewing, and I'm kinda worn out from this project.

In conclusion, despite my troubles with this project, I'm not entirely displeased with the results. At the very least, it was an experience, and one that I might even be willing to do a third time 👀...?

But for now, I'd like to rest and maybe go back to drawing again. I feel like I haven't drawn anything "real" for a while now. We're inching closer and closer to the next follower milestone (4 digit number BA-BY!), so I'd like to at least get back to being good enough to sketch some stuff for y'all soon~

#gbunny makes #gbunny draws #custom doll #doll custom #doll repaint #kliff #nsr #no straight roads #for the record i do find this project thoroughly embarrassing for me #but i can't justify its existence without sharing it. so here it is.#like. i wish i could have been obsessed with somebody else.#anybody else.#well. someone who's socially acceptable to obsess over i guess #but i'm not. i'm obsessed with him so i'm going to make things of him #and they're gonna make me happy #despite the embarrassment #Youtube

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inkskinned · 2 years

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you didn't say sorry, not really. you said sorry only when i pushed about it, you said it like an afterthought, like - oh fine, if this is what you want. the apology was already tearing itself apart in the air. you said sorry, but you caused this. you said sorry you feel that way, i guess. you said: what else do you want me to say? you've already made up your mind to be angry about this.

you've moved on since then. i hope you found a therapist. i am stuck with all of the hurt you caused but - you've been working on yourself, on your multiple projects, on that beautiful life you live. happy - you look happier, lighter, free of all of it. you take artsy videos of yourself dancing; caption it - a friend recently abandoned me.

nobody else knows how hard you pushed. nobody else knows what you did. i am sure you tell everyone a version of the truth that makes out the best of you; turns me into a cold unfeeling bitch who just "doesn't understand" you. i am sure you leave out all the ways i gave you myself, over and over, for years. how many times before this you hurt me, crossed my boundaries, laid me bare - what you say to them about when i finally drew the line is - she is just being unfair.

sometimes i feel insane about it. i have to text my best friend, make sure that what-i-think-happened actually-happened. to double-check that i wasn't being a bad person. maybe i'm misremembering it. she often has to guide me back to the same two facts: beyond what any one person could reasonably expect, i gave you everything, and you still wanted more of it.

it makes me angry, when it doesn't make me sick. i force myself to journal about it. how fucked up it makes me, knowing your narrative will be the one that sticks - knowing you are out there, right now, making sure everyone listens. telling them how you are being targeted. how you, hurting me on purpose, making me feel small, ignoring my needs - how that was really my fault, in the end.

yesterday you made a post on instagram talking about how you used to feel guilty about something that had gone wrong in a relationship, but that you've freed yourself from those toxic idealisms. you said: i am not giving her the power to make me feel bad about my mistakes. i am just a human person - it's up to her if she wants to be the bigger person and actually forgive.

and i just sat there and thought: you haven't even actually apologized for it.

#narcissist #toxic #this is about like #when u have done literally everything for someone #who takes and takes and takes from u #and when ur finally like #hey dude this thing u did hurt me #they're like #OFFENDED that u finally stood ur ground #and they turn on u SO quick #you: um dude it really hurt my feelings that u said that #them: god you're so fucking sensitive #them on instagram: LET PEOPLE BE THEMSELVES. JESUS CHRIST #them to their friends: yeah idk she just FREAKED OUT about like a miscommunication #you: .... i uhhhh asked u not to say that about me and to apologize for saying that #them to their friends: she just wants me to fucking live in misery she's toxic #you: ??????????????????????????????????? i asked ... u to treat me ... like a human person #anyway don't let those people bait u #they're good at what they do and they'll make sure to act on ur weaknesses and #get u back #so they can keep taking from u endlessly #like.... stealing ur whole energy

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communistkenobi · 1 month

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heya! i was wondering if u had any more thoughts / a short reading list on marxism as faith-based or possibly a religion, just bc I remember u posting something about it a while ago. I love Ernst Bloch and his formulations of utopia definitely resonate with faith for me, even though I'm not religious, and i have recently definitely felt that it maybe isn't rational to believe that the world can become a better place. That said I definitely think it is necessary to feel, even if I'm logically unsure about it, that we can make the world better. thanks :)

i very messily expressed some of those thoughts a while ago, so to clarify: marxism is not faith-based, it is scientific, and I definitely would not call it a religion, but rather there are theological components to Marxism that for me feel somewhat similar to how certain religious people talk about god/sovereignty etc. (what Roland Boer calls the "warm stream of Marxism," i.e., what I would describe as the feeling of experiencing yourself as a subject in history situated within a political project of liberation, or more broadly, the greater-than-yourself feeling of being part of some higher purpose through the political project of Marxism, a purpose Boer calls "god-building," as well as a bunch of other things I'm still thinking through). I am coming at it from the perspective of the concept of politicial theology, i.e. the relationship between religious and political power/authority and so on, although I'm not well-read enough on the subject to comment on that beyond it being a starting point for my own investigation.

i haven't had time to sit with these thoughts or think them through properly so i am not a good person to talk to about this. when i eventually have the time i've been intending on reading Roland Boer's work on the topic (I can't find any open-access links to his work unfortunately, although you might be able to find Religion and Socialism or Criticism of Heaven or Criticism of Theology through a library or institution). There is a link to a piece by Boer on Marxism.org that might be a better starting point, although I haven't read it either. There are also many other authors grappling with the subject of religion and marxism but again, I am not a good authority on that.

Sorry that isn't much help! if anyone has recommendations on this topic they're free to reply to this post with them.

#book club #not really tho lol #asks

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osleeplessflowero · 2 months

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I figured it's time to bring back Classic Sans for a oneshot. Haven't posted about him since Stargazing! My very first Sans oneshot and Undertale oneshot as a whole. - Reader is Gender Neutral as always! Their SOUL type is up to you. - This is a good way to tie these oneshots to another series of mine :)

It's quiet..before a breeze fills your ears. Your senses are overloaded with sound. Soon you can feel the breeze too, gently hitting your skin as you slowly open your eyes and move your hands over the grass beneath you.

How long had you been asleep? What happened? Did you miss anything? Your head is spinning..

A familiar voice pulls you out of your thoughts softly, calmly. Just like he always does.

"heya. glad to see you're back." He greets you with a smile once you look over, just as he always does. You can't help but smile too. Sitting up, you scoot a bit closer to him and abruptly drop your head on his shoulder, to his surprise. "woah there, what's this all about?" He raises a browbone as he looks down at you, feeling your arm move behind his back so you can awkwardly hug him.

"How long was I asleep?" You ask, getting straight to the point. He looks back up, focusing on the rising sun before the two of you. "not much time has passed here since you fell asleep. or, i guess you could say we fell asleep, huh?" He chuckles. "guessing you've had lots of opportunities to explore. i couldn't imagine doing all that."

"..Yeah." You think about places you've been, your consciousness moving about through different timelines and possibilities. It is only right here, in this space, that you can truly remember things..and where you originally came from. You've certainly seen a lot of interesting figures recently. All of them being different variants of Sans, and even his brother, Papyrus. The same two, just..in various different fonts.

"it's kinda weird, when i think about it." You turn to look at him. "how there's so many other mes just..hangin' around in other timelines. that even the smallest decision can make an entirely new form, a new me. up to the point where..it's like i'm a whole other person. they're sorta..physical "what if"s. aaand prove that the timeline theory is real..so..that's complicated. i guess i can see why you like to go see them all. curiosity."

"..Yeah..it's..like a new adventure each time." You earn a nod from him, before you sit up and move so you're in front of him, placing your hands at the sides of his legs. "But..just so we're clear, that doesn't mean I want to see you any less, Sans. You're still you, the original you, that..that I fell for in the beginning." Heat rises to your cheeks, burning even warmer as you watch a shade of blue make its way onto the skeleton's cheekbones to match.

"i mean, i understand if you prefer some variations of me more. i'm not gonna take it personally-" You cut him off, placing your hand on his left cheekbone. He freezes like a deer in the headlights, his eyesockets relaxing a little as he leans into your touch almost instinctively.

"Just because I like to see other outcomes it doesn't mean I'll love you any less. I refuse to leave you behind. I won't leave Paps behind either. I promise."

"seems like a pretty big promise. sure you can keep it?" "I'm absolutely sure." You lean forward, pressing your forehead against his own. "No matter what..you'll always remain in my heart, Sans. The true you, I mean." "why settle for me when you can have so many other mes?" He raises a browbone, a soft smile on his face. "At the end of the day it was the two of you that my heart belonged to first. Nothing will change that." His face is now a prettier, brighter shade of blue..you can't help but smile, seeing him like this.

"You're not making puns." "it's not the time for that." He averts his eyelights, earning a chuckle from you. You lightly tap his cheek. "C'mon..look at me." "i dunno.." "Please?" "what if i fall for you all over again?" You smile. "I'd be alright with that."

He turns his eyelights to you, unable to look away the moment he does. You can hear his breath hitch, the lights shifting into little heart shapes the moment he blinks. "..Can I?..Or would that be too forward?-" You mutter, your face heating up again at the thought. "just get over here, you." He puts his arms around your waist, pulling you a little closer so you can make contact yourself.

You lean forwards, pressing your lips against his teeth..feeling yourself becoming lost in the moment. Your heart pounds in your ears, your faces both madly flushed as you embrace each other's company. Eventually you have to break the kiss for air, softly regaining your breath as he stares at you with admiring eyes. He reaches up his hands, placing them on the sides of your face now. The cool feeling both calms your nerves and makes you even more flushed. "you alright being stuck with me? with us, even?" "Always. Don't ever question that." You smile, earning a grin from him in return as you hear footsteps approaching in the distance.

"There You Two Are! I've Been Looking Everywhere For You!" Papyrus comes to a stop before you, pressing his hands on his hips with his all-too-familiar grin. A few seconds pass before he takes in your states, a smug look crossing his face. "Am I Interrupting Something?"

"nah, you got here just in time. right?" Sans lightly nudges you, earning rapid nods from you in return. If you let him hear your voice tremble or crack you would quite literally die inside.

"so, what's up? something going on?" He asks, putting an arm around you. "I Thought You Might Want To See Our New Neighbors! They Are Quite The Interesting Bunch. And..Oddly Familiar Looking.."

You and Sans give each other a knowing look. "You don't think?.." "awfully convenient timing, universe." "Might as well make a good first impression, huh?"

#sans x reader #sans undertale x reader #undertale sans x reader #undertale x reader #classic sans #classic sans x reader #sans undertale

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lu-is-not-ok · 1 year

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Hey hey hello can I ask.

What is your specific theories when it comes to "Hong Lu is Lin Daiyu," "Hong Lu, Don Quixote, & Outis are using fake names," and "Our Yi Sang isn't the same Yi Sang?" I saw those on the bingo sheet and I'm super curious as to what they mean.

Ok so. I'm gonna go in order from the ones I'm most confident in to the ones that I think are the most crackhead. Ok? Ok.

Under a Read More cause I get wordy. Like, Really fucking wordy and rambly.

Our Yi Sang isn't the same Yi Sang.

So, here's what we know.

According to Leviathan, Yi Sang is the main researcher behind the technology that allows access to Mirror Worlds. Faust also remarks that he used to be more talkative before he joined Limbus Company.

According to promotional material, as well as just everything he says, Mirrors and Mirror Worlds are an important theme for his character. While I haven't touched Crow's Eye View or any of the real Yi Sang's works yet, I have seen notable quotes from it that seem to hold up those themes as well.

With the recently released info on Canto IV not only being about Yi Sang, but also being longer than the three previous Cantos combined, something tells me we're going to be properly delving into Mirror Worlds and how they tie back to both Yi Sang's backstory and the main plot as a whole.

Okay, so that's all nice and all, but that doesn't answer what the fuck I mean with the Bingo space, right? I'm getting there.

Let's go back to when we first learn about Mirror Worlds in regards to the main plot, the Tutorial. Faust explains that using Mirror World identities can cause one's memories to be replaced with those of their other identities, but explicitly says that there's no danger of one's true identity being actually affected. The Sinners aren't Ships of Theseus, according to her.

Now, you could say that that's just a way to explain away how the cutscenes are unchanged despite using different identities in combat, and to that I say, Have you played any other Project Moon game? The moment they decide to give lore to why game mechanics work the way they do is the moment that lore becomes a significant part of the plot. It happened every time they had to explain why the characters you're controlling go back to life, I doubt they wouldn't do that again for something as major as the effect of Mirror Worlds on a person's identity.

With all of that said. My theory is that Yi Sang is this Ship of Theseus. He was likely the first one to properly access Mirror Worlds, which also likely means the procedures that are now in place to ensure the Sinners' safety weren't there just yet. Who is to say that Yi Sang, who is now a Sinner working for Limbus Company, and Yi Sang, the researcher who worked with Mirror Worlds, could even be considered the same person?

I don't think the exact specifics of what happened matter for this theory. Whether it's an identity swap or identity fusion or some other shit. What matters is that something happened while Yi Sang was researching Mirror Worlds, which left him with his very self and identity changed, possibly irreparably.

After all, don't you think it's interesting that Yi Sang is the only Sinner whose talksprite doesn't have his ID Card or a nameplate anywhere on his uniform? Just food for thought.

...Holy shit that got long, I promise I won't have THAT much to say on the other two you asked about SDFGHJHGF

Hong Lu, Don Quixote, and Outis are using fake names

So this is less so a concrete theory, and more just an observation I made.

All the other Sinners are directly named after their inspirations' real names. The exceptions are Yi Sang, who is named after the author; Hong Lu, who is named after the book itself/the jade the novel's protagonist used to be; Don Quixote, who is named after an alias her inspiration used; and Outis, who is named after a false nickname her inspiration used.

We're going to focus on the latter three. The fact that they're not directly named after the characters they're meant to be inspired by while still alluding to them in different ways is suspicious, especially if you consider the kinds of people they're all shown to be.

Outis is probably the most obvious example here, she's constantly acting shady, boot-licking Dante while disrespecting her fellow Sinners, and generally being quiet about the details of her past outside of making remarks about being part of a military. Even her intro states that her past is classified and that she's extremely cunning.

Don Quixote doesn't seem to be malicious in her deceit like Outis is, but something is still up with her. Her intro compares her to an actor, and her particulars say she has "Delusions of Grandeur". Not only that, but we also see her completely drop her usual personality when called out on not being genuine by the Mariachis, as well as when Vergilius threatens her with a Deal they apparently Made.

Hong Lu is... interesting. I could make a whole seperate analysis about him, but to try to keep it shorter for once, I'll note that his suspicious behavior is much more subtle. While most of the time he acts clueless and overly honest (which, let's be real, he probably genuinely is most of the time), there are also a notable amount of situations where he lies, deflects, or otherwise dodges subjects or questions when they inconvenience him. Something is definitely up with him, he's just better at hiding it.

This all culminates in a shared design feature of these three on their talksprites, that none of the other Sinners seem to have. Instead of having their ID Cards attached to their uniform, like everyone else does, they have small metal nameplates on the lapels of their jackets.

This is notable as it's something shared Only between these three characters. The other Sinners all have an ID Card attached to a visible spot on their uniform, while Yi Sang, a character who fits neither of the naming schemes since he's named after an author, has neither an ID Card or a nameplate.

Again, not necessarily a concrete theory. Just some observations that could lead to a revelation later on in the plot.

Hong Lu is Lin Daiyu

Ok this one is probably the least supported out of any of these, and the one I believe in the least.

It's like, generally accepted that Hong Lu is supposed to be based on Jia Baoyu from Dream of the Red Chamber, right? Here's the thing, I think that is still the case, but, however.

There are a few things about Hong Lu that point less in his inspiration being Baoyu, and more of it being Lin Daiyu, Baoyu's fated love interest. Not all of it, mind you, but at least some.

One, Hong Lu's eyes. Daiyu's name means blue-black jade, which Hong Lu's eyes seem to subtly, but probably deliverately referencing.

Two, Hong Lu's personality. While none of the Sinners are exactly the same as their inspirations, you can still point where some of their traits come from.

Using Rodya as an example (as Crime and Punishment is the only of the relevant books I had Fully read), her overwhelming self-confidence is very likely a reference to how book Rodion believed himself to be above man. While there are some differences (Rodya's motives are a bit more selfless compared to Rodion's, for example), the base idea of their characters is the same.

Why is this important? Well, while I haven't finished reading Dream of the Red Chamber yet, I am slowly making my way through it. And while there are some ways in which Hong Lu resembles Baoyu, there are also quite a few that things that set them apart to the point it's hard to believe Hong Lu is based only on him.

Here's the thing about Baoyu: he's a trouble maker. He throws tantrums, is highly emotional, and gets borderline treated as a sort of black sheep of his family, especially by his Father (which I will come back to).

Compare that to Hong Lu, who seems to avoid causing trouble (most of the arguments he causes seem to be completely on accident), is stoically smiling all the time to the point it can be almost unnerving, and some of his dialogue seems to imply that his family was at least decently fond of him, if not more (his comment about being "a gem of a child" in his Liu uptie story comes to mind).

Then compare that to Daiyu, who seems to be unanimously loved by her current household, tends to keep her emotions to herself, and tries to stay out of trouble while still making remarks here and there when she notices something off. (An example that comes to my mind is when someone in the family decides to gift all the girls in the Jia household some flower decorations, and Daiyu remarks how she was the last one to be given one and thus was left with leftovers.)

I don't know about you, but that sounds closer to what Hong Lu seems to be like, at least to me.

Three, remember how I mentioned Baoyu's Father? Yeah. Let's talk about that.

Hong Lu mentions his Father in one of his main menu Chatter lines, expressing excitement over being able to introduce his new friends to him.

Why is this relevant? Becuase Baoyu is terrified of his Father, it's a pretty major point that his Father is the Main person in his family that considers Baoyu a disappointment and a disgrace. And it's not something that develops later on in the novel, I'm on Chapter 10 out of 120 and it has been a prevalent thing for a few chapters now.

There are two ways I can see this being resolved. Either Hong Lu is majorly lying to himself (which honestly might not be out of the question), or Hong Lu isn't based entirely on Baoyu, but is inspired by a mix of Baoyu and Daiyu.

That was. An extremely wordy and rambly way of saying that I think Hong Lu is based on two characters instead of one. Uh. Oops.

#ask #limbus company #limbus company project moon #lcb theory #yi sang #yi sang lcb #hong lu #hong lu lcb #don quixote #don quixote lcb #outis #outis lcb #lu speaketh #i feel like ive just written a script to a game theory #dear fucking lord

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return-of-a-space-cowboy · 9 months

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You're just like an angel pt5

After breakfast, Miguel took your plate and washed it. The silence deafening and you could cut the tension in the room until the device on his wrist rang. He shot another web at you which covered your mouth.

"Yes?" He asked as a small projection of the lady you'd seen a few days ago appeared.

"I've been trying to get in contact with you for ages, why haven't you been answering?" She asked.

"I've been busy" he replied.

"Yeah I was told, were you aware an anomaly escaped the facility last night?" She asked him.

"Is that so?" He asked. He was certain he'd covered his tracks, so why was she alerted about an escape?

"Yes, I'm on my way to catch them now" she explained. This wasn't good.

"Are you sure that it's an anomaly?" He asked. She looked at him weirdly before speaking.

"What do you mean, am I sure? you said this tech is never incorrect" she asked.

"I know I said that but recently it's had a few kinks so LYLA and I have been working on a patch for a couple of issues, that's why I've been so busy" he lied.

"Well, I'm going to double-check, just in case," she said. He hung up before pulling you into a room and using his webs to restrain your arms and legs before putting you on the carpeted floor.

"This won't be for long, I'll remove those restraints as soon as she's gone," he told you before closing the door behind you, leaving you in the dark. The only light was the light that peered through the door frame.

You waited for what seemed like hours before a doorbell rang and that lady's voice could be heard.

"Oh I didn't realize this was your house," she said.

You tried to scream loud as you could to get her attention but the webbing muffled all your attempts.

"Yes, it is, guess my watch must be giving out a dud transmission" Miguel replied.

"Actually what time did it indicate that the anomaly left?" He asked.

"Around 22 o'clock" she replied.

"That was when I left, definitely must be my watch" he explained.

"Well I hope you can sort out those issues soon Miguel," she said.

"Yes I'll put it as my top priority" he replied before what you assumed was the front door closed, then the door to the room you were in opened. Miguel towered over you, truly settling into the hopelessness you were currently in.

He kneeled before you and held your chin in his hand as the talons on his fingers appeared, you could feel them threatening to pierce the skin on your face as he held you in place as he carefully dragged one of his fingers across your lips as sliced away the webbing. His crimson eyes looking down at you, longing for something.

"You're so beautiful" he commented before he made quick work of the rest of the webbing.

"You make me feel sick" you snarled in response. Revolted by his presence.

"You'll feel the same way soon dear, you just need time," he told you as if you were a child.

🕷🕷🕷

Whenever he left you took the opportunity to get your hands on any electronics in the house. You inspected them and figured out what they did. All of it made you feel exceptionally old, like how a grandmother would feel using a computer for the first time.

Right now you had your hands on one of his tablets. Looking through it to see if he might have useful information for you. A blueprint of the device on his wrist, the location of that lair of his, and any other hints as to how to go home.

Unfortunately, it seemed like this was his personal one for home. The only thing you managed to find were house listings on a real-estate site, was he planning of moving? If so, that wouldn't be good. You'd have to start investigating all over again.

Slowly you began to figure out what each thing did. You should have tried calling the police but that would not help your situation, if anything it would make your chances of returning to your dimension a lot slimmer.

Sometimes you wondered if circumstances between you and Miguel had been different, would you have fallen in love with him? From what others said about relationships he was what people would consider a catch. He cooked, cleaned, and seemed like a family-oriented man from the photos on display.

Perhaps his loss led him to do what he did, didn't excuse him from what he did to you but if you tried to talk him through his loss he might let you go, but you'd need to have some good psychological skills to do that which you doubt you have.

The door opened and you quickly hid it under the pillow beside you.

"You realize I get notifications on my phone whenever you use any of my devices," he said as he walked in the door with a bag in hand. You sat still flustered that you were caught.

"Sorry I was out so late, I brought home some Italian" he explained as he walked to the table and unpacked the paper bag, pulling out a few cardboard containers.

"I got us some arancini and garlic bread to share" he continued.

"Thank you" you halfheartedly said.

"What's the matter? If it's about me being late I promise I'll take you out for a day" he said almost like clockwork. This is exactly what he'd tell his wife and daughter in this universe. After he'd found his family in that universe he'd quit being Spiderman and put them at the forefront of his life. He wished he could do the same thing for you but now the stakes of quitting were a lot higher.

"No it's not about that, you know exactly why," you told him.

"I can't do that," he told you.

"It's not that you can't Miguel, it's that you don't. This isn't good for either of us and I know that somewhere deep down you know this" you blew up at him.

"I'm sick of being trapped in this house, I just want to go home and see my family again," you said.

"They probably think I'm dead after all this time" you continued. It had been almost a month since you'd been trapped here.

"Just come here and have some dinner, I don't have time to talk about this," he told you.

"No, you never have time to talk about it because you don't want to hear it, you're delusional… pretending that we're a regular couple" you argued

"I don't know if this is because of the loss of your family or you've always been like this but you need to find some professional help and let me go" you continued. Then the glass dining table shattered. A vivid blue liquid poured from the wounds on his hand, his talons exposed.

"This is for your own good! If I were to send you back your life would most likely end in misery, Vultures and any other villains for that matter usually either die or get locked up for the rest of their lives!" He yelled as made his way towards you.

"And you think this is any better? Locked up in this house of yours isolated from those I love" You argued.

"I was going to bring your family here as a surprise but I haven't had the time to prepare. Would that make you happy?" He seethes. Your eyes widened in shock and your blood boiled. You stood up and looked directly up into his eyes.

"No, I don't trust you near them whatsoever" you hissed.

"If you even so much as lay a hand on one of them I'll… I'll" you warned but was unable to threaten him. There was no way you were going to let him drag your family into this mess.

"You'll what? What can you do against me?" He hissed back.

Your knuckles cracked as you clenched tightly into a white-knuckled fist. Without even thinking you had hooked him in the jaw with all the force you had. He stumbled back a little and rubbed his jaw before his blood-red eyes returned to you. That was the first time you'd managed to inflict even a slight amount of pain on him but it was enough to trigger that hair-thin temper. Without your gear you were just a bird without wings, defenseless.

Before you even had a chance to react he grabbed the collar of your shirt and hoisted you in the air, your legs dangling helplessly.

"I've been patient with you, I've tried to accommodate for you whenever I could yet after it all you still reject me! You treat me as if I was some kind of monster" he hissed through grit teeth, baring fangs you hadn’t seen before.

"Because you are!" You responded.

"You want to see a monster?! I'll show you a monster!" he howled.

#yandere #yandere x reader #miguel o'hare x reader #yandere miguel o'hara x reader

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