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#had a few art commissions from friends
yanyanderes · 11 months
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me crawling out of my coffin to tell my followers i’m not dead i swear
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little ramble in the tags-
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jils-things · 4 days
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by the lighthouse.
dividers
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alren-ki · 19 days
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Hmm. That sure is brains. Don't like em but they sure are fucking exist
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jonnywaistcoat · 2 months
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Hey, Horrormaster Sims. I have a wildly different question that barely relates to TMA (Sorry about that) but its about your own process. Please, if you could, can you tell me how your first drafts made you feel? I'm on the fence about writing my own thing (not a podcast, and again, not Magnus related, though I have a million little aus for that delightful tragedy you wrote, thank you for that!) But I'm discouraged by the collective notion that first drafts are always terrible, because there's no ... examples I can solidly use to help the dumb anxiety beast in my brain that tells me everyone who is in any way popular popped out a golden turd and not, well, you know. One of my friends said 'Oh I bet Jonathan Sims's first draft was nothing like what he wanted' and I got the bright idea to just. Send you an ask, since you're trapped on this hellsite like I am. Anyway, thanks for reading this (if you do) and if you'd rather ask it privately, I am cool with that. Alternatively, you're a hella busy man with Protocol (you and Alex are making me rabid, i hope you know) and you can just ignore this! Cheers, man, and good words.
To my mind all writing advice, especially stuff that's dispensed as truisms (like "first drafts are always garbage") are only useful inasmuch as such advice prompts you to pay attention to how you write best: what helps your workflow, what inspires you, what keeps you going through the rough bits. There are as many different ways to write (and write well) as there are people who write and so always consider this sort of thing a jumping off point to try out or keep in mind as you gradually figure out your own ways of writing.
On first drafts specifically, I think the wisdom "all first drafts are bad" is a bit of unhelpful oversimplification of the fact that, deadlines notwithstanding, no piece of writing goes out until you decide its ready, so don't get too hung up on your first draft of a thing, because a lot of writers find it much easier to edit a complete work than to try and redraft as they go. It's also important to not let perfectionism or the fact your initial draft isn't coming out exactly how you want stop you from actually finishing the thing, as it's always better to have something decent and done than to have something perfect and abandoned.
But the idea of a "first draft" is also kind of a fluid one. The "first draft" you submit to someone who's commissioned you will probably be one you've already done a bunch of tweaks and edits to, as opposed to the "first draft" you pump out in a frenzy in an over-caffeinated weekend. For my part, my first drafts tend to end up a bit more polished than most, because I'm in the habit of reading my sentences out loud as I write them (a habit picked up from years of audio writing) so I'll often write and re-write a particular sentence or paragraph a few times to get the rhythm right before moving to the next one. This means my first drafts tend to take longer, but are a bit less messy. I'm also a big-time planner and pretty good at sticking to the structures I lay out so, again, tend to front load a lot of stuff so I get a better but slower first draft.
At the end of the day, though, the important thing is to get in your head about it in a good way (How do I write best? what helps me make writing I enjoy and value? What keeps me motivated?) and not in a bad way (What if it's not good enough? What if everyone hates it? What if it doesn't make sense?) so that you actually get it done.
As for how my first drafts made me feel? Terrible, every one of 'em No idea if that's reflective of their quality, though, tbh - I hate reading my own writing until I've had a chance to forget it's mine (I can only ever see the flaws). I suppose there's theoretically a none-zero chance they were pure fragments of True Art and creative perfection, but Alex's editing notes make that seem unlikely.
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bitterchocoo · 1 month
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A Blessing or A Curse?
Jing Yuan | M. Reader as Baizhu [Genshin Impact]
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"The doctor will see you now~"
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For centuries, immortality has been seen as a curse by the Xianzhou natives. An abomination.
How could they not? When they saw it with their own eyes, what immortality had brought to those who wished for it. How it changed them. Twist their minds until they're merely a shadow of their former self. What had become of those who got Mara-struck.
But...
Amongst those who look down on immortality with disdain. There's one who sees immortality as a blessing rather than a curse.
.
.
.
.
.
Hey, have you heard? There's a Doctor that could cure any illness! It's like a miracle! He works in a Pharmacy in the Alchemy Commission called, Bubu Pharmacy. The Doctor's name is—
"Doctor [Name]?"
"This new prescription, though not as fast-acting. Will allow gradual recovery and build-up of strength making it well suited to someone who's been suffering from a long illness. The needed ingredients can also be found around the Exalting Sanctum."
"Thank you, Doctor!"
The man thanked the doctor for the new prescription with a smile on hie face. The previous prescription used ingredients are hard to get in the district and now with the new prescription, finding the ingredients for the medicine would be a lot more easier.
He then left the pharmacy with the prescription in hand, leaving the doctor alone with his...
Snake.
"You actually found replacements for those ingredients." She says as she watched the man leave. "Of course, what kind of Doctor would I be if I couldn't?" He replied softly, his eyes scanning the documents in his hand.
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One day, Doctor [Name] have an unexpected visit.
"Ah, General! To what do I owe the honor of your visit? Are you perhaps injured?" The doctor greeted him with a faint smile on his face. Jing Yuan laugh at [Name]'s words. "No, Doctor. I'm perfectly healthy."
"That's good to hear." "He better be, or else our work would have been for nothing!!"
"Good to see you too Changsheng." The General chuckles. The snake huffs as she rested her body around [Name]'s shoulders. The two old friends sat at a nearby table, chatting away and catching up with one another.
For as long as he could remember, [Name] had always been a kind soul, ready to help at any given time despite being a short-life species. That didn't concern him at all as he studies medicine and the art of healing.
The day [Name] retuned with a white snake around his shoulder was the day that changed everything. For the Luofu and for his friends. Almost like a miracle, the people began to heal ad recover in a rapid pace. Thanks to the Doctor's treatment. They've began to wonder as to how that could be? A short-life species? Having an ability akin to a Vidyadhara? Impossible! And yet..
As [Name] continues to heal and treat his patients... the sicker he became..
It wasn't that it's noticeable, no.. far from it..
He appears as healthy as ever, although a few coughs and wheeze here and there but as an old friend of his, Jing Yuan can't help but show concern for the Doctor.
.
.
.
.
.
"Life, death... and the world around us all follow a set of laws... Hehe, but if you never test the limits, how can anyone know where the boundaries of these laws are?"
He should have known..
He should have known that.. his friend was..
..Researching on something forbidden..
How could this be...?
A kind and gentle man.. wanting nothing but to help and treat others.. began searching for the thing his motherland sought to destroy..? And he's been doing this from the starts..?
Why..? Why must he..
He felt betrayed. Betrayed by an old friend.
Immortality is a curse! Can't the Doctor see that! All of those soldiers, all of those people that were lost from it! Is he blind!! Why!? Why must he search for such abomination!!
And yet.. and yet...
His reason.. the Doctor's reason... [Name]'s reason...
..It's still pure..
He wanted to help.. to treat and heal others..
Changsheng.. her ability to heal is simply out of this world.. but the price.. the price that needs to be paid to do such an act.. isn't that just prove how terrible the power of Abundance is? And yet..
[Name] saw this as a blessing.
It's a gift.
A gift he'll accept with open arms.
Once he received immortality.. he could continue on to help others and.. he won't have to pass down the contract to anyone ever again..
His objective is simple...
To prevent suffering.
But.. is immortality truly the only way? To him, yes. As it would prevent any more people from dying young thanks to the contract. But to someone like Jing Yuan? The General of the Luofu? The man who had seen what immortality had done to others?
Is Immortality a blessing..? Or.. a curse..?
He doesn't know anymore.
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mooshywrites · 3 months
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ahhhh i loved the falling in to their lap fic!! Something in same lane but different, a not shy gn s/o falling into the lap of someone else in the camp and they get jealous cue complicated feelings. Maybe for Astarion, Gale, Zevlor, Dammon, and any other characters you like?
Love your work either way 💕
A/N - hellllllls yes 💕
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
Masterlist
Art commissions
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
Jealousy ~
Astarion -
~ It wasn’t on purpose at all, you just happened to land right in Wyll’s lap. Who could blame you for laughing so hard you couldn’t breath and losing your balance in the process?
~ You could practically feel the Vampire’s eyes boring holes into the back of your head as soon as it happened
~ He’d try to play it cool throughout the rest of the evening, making a few more snide comments to Wyll than normal
~ He doesn’t quite know what to think about the feelings he’s having. He’s usually the one being chased after all
~ You catch him sulking at his tent, trying to hide how out of sorts the whole thing has made him
~ Asking him about it only has him brushing it off with a sarcastic “Why would anything be the matter, darling?”
~ Two could play at that game, you just snap back that you’d spend time with Wyll instead
~ In only a split second, his arms would be pinning you to him. His red eyes pierce into your startled gaze
~ His lips are a breath away as he speaks in a voice only you can hear
~ “The only one that will have your attention tonight, pet, is me”
Gale -
~ When you stumbled into Halsin’s arms, you didn’t think much of it. It happened so fast
~ Gale, who was close by, simply made a joke about your clumsiness.
~ You, however, could see the subtle change in his demeanor. His jaw clenched a little tighter, his hands fidgeting a little more, his gaze focused more on your every word
~ For the next few hours, he barely left your side, trying his best to make you laugh, to make you pay attention to him
~ You knew what this was, knew what he was trying to do. The attention was both adorable and more than a little flattering
~ It wasn’t until you planted a soft kiss on his nose that he finally smiled again, even breathing a sigh of relief
~ “I thought I was going to have to tell Tara that you didn’t love me. She would have been none too pleased”
Zevlor -
~ Zevlor tried to brush off the green eyed envy he felt, seeing you casually draped across Shadowhearts lap
~ He tried to convince himself he was too old to be feeling this way, to be annoyed that you were sitting like that with who he hoped was just a friend
~ He couldn’t sit still, leg bouncing and tail swishing around furiously
~ He’d even try clearing his throat, but obviously you were not getting the memo
~ With a snort, he’d stand up and make his way to you. Your innocent gaze snapping up to him did nothing to stop him from scooping you up, stealing you away with a huff
~ All you could do was giggle and tease him for carrying you off like some sort of caveman
~ “Perhaps I need to remind you who it is you belong to”
Dammon -
~ Dammon would be a nervous mess when he walked in to you sitting on Astarion’s lap
~ A flurry of thoughts would fill his brain. What were you doing with him? Surely it was platonic, right? What even led to this?
~ It wasn’t until Astarion caught his attention and rolled his eyes that he saw…
~ Astarion fanned your face furiously, your skin pale and eyes closed. Apparently the heat of the day had gotten to you, rendering you completely faint
~ Even at the realization, Dammon couldn’t help but pluck you out of Astarion’s arms, ignoring the sarcastic quip from the pale elf
~ His tail wraps possessively around your ankle as he brings you to the shade, continuing to fan you
~ He sighs a breath of relief as you come back to, smiling brightly at your confused expression
~ “I’m glad you’re awake! I had to rescue you from a monster”
Kar’niss -
~ Kar’niss didn’t know how to explain most of the feelings he had toward you, but seeing you trip and land on Gale? He knew the name of this one well - red hot jealousy
~ It was all he could do to bite his tongue and not snarl aloud. He was trying his best to act more civilized for you, he couldn’t exactly fall back now, right?
~ Instead, he wordlessly clicked towards the two of you, looming menacingly
~ It took a few minutes of coaxing from you to relax him, finally managing to call your guard dog off the poor wizard
~ He became your shadow the rest of the evening, trailing after you like a lost puppy
~ As the moon rose high in the sky, his eyes grew more and more vulnerable
~ He finally took your hands in his own, his voice almost shy
~ “Promise you won’t leave Kar’niss for someone like him”
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writingoddess1125 · 6 months
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saw ur request is finally open dlsksksks i hope modern au is your jam 🤞🏻
I would love to get your thought on buggy, shanks, and minawk reacting to reader accidentally sending them a nude pic 🤧
Oh I love you RN ❤️
Okay so did I go overboard? Absolutely Do I care? HELL NO!
You Accidently Send them a Nude Pic!
Buggy, Shanks, Mihawk
SPICY THEMES! ❤️‍🔥
You are gonna need some Ice cubes 🧊 after this one ;D
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If you like please Support me on Ko-Fi
Buggy
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"For fucks sake" You grumbled as you looked through google- You needed a specific pose for this commission, it was an expensive NSFW one and yet you could not find the right pose and for some reason couldn't figure it from memory-
"Fuck it time to go old school-" You grumbled, Peeling off your clothes and walking to the bedroom were your mirror was, Setting up you snapped a few pictures in the pose needed.
Looking at the few shots you couldn't help but pat yourself on the back. You looked good and got the pose perfectly- Dressing back you went back to your computer.
You kept your phone gallery opened to look at the photo, embarrassed you had to go to such lengths to do so- But money was money.
As you continued your sketch you saw a message ding and smiled- It was non other then Buggy, your close friend and truthfully your partner in crime.
Buggy Boo 🤡: U busy?
Me: Yeah I'm trying to find some references, but what's up?
Buggy Boo 🤡: NVM wanted to hang out
You smiled at this.
Me: You can still but at a price 😌
Buggy Boo 🤡: Price? 💰
Giggling you open up your text gallery. You scroll through the photos to find the McDonald's meme youd saved earlier and quickly sent it-
Me: Gotta Bring Me The Mickey D's 😩 💦
However you saw two images loading to be sent with the text. Raising a brow as you waited for it to load- However when it sent and showed you the second image you threw your device across the room.. there just below the McDonald's Meme was your nude reference photo.. You tried to panic unsend but saw he read it instantly.
Fuck FUCK FUCK!!!
Expecting a call or a WTF text of some sort but .
Silence- You didn't see him text back or anything. Fear eating you up inside as you thought the worse.. He's going to fucking hate you now- you two had just been really really good friends for years and maybe had a few drunken nights together however nothing like this!
In your panic you didn't realize how much time had passed before a knock snapped you from your thoughts.
You heard frantic knocks in your front door, surprised by the urgency of them and walked over- Opening the door your face flushed with what you saw. There was Buggy, with a shirt barely and clearly backwards, his hair down in thick waves looking wet and barely holding up his pants like he had gotten into clothes on the way to you however the 4 massive bag of McDonald's in his hand clued you in he had stopped at the restaurant right before.
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"Buggy?-" You say shyly and face cherry red at seeing him in such a disheveled state- that and his boxers didn't exactly hiding him very well.
"I came over as fast as I could- I also got everything on the menu-" He said breathlessly holding up the bag and you glance to see his car parked sideways in your driveway, words seemed to leave you as you could practically see the desire in his gaze as he grinned widely.
He stepped forward and gently pushed you back into the house closing your door behind him as he quickly closed the space between you two, handing you the bag whicj you could barely hold onto.
"Gotta say, that was a welcomed surprised from you. I loved it~" He purred out, You squeaking in surprise at his words as his hands found their way to your hips.
"I have some modeling I'd like to see you do~ For art purposes of course" He said with a wink.
"Y-You actually liked those?" You manage out- Buggy laughed at this.
"Of course! It was sexy, flashy, surprising all at once. Not gonna lie if it wasn't for me needing to get the McDonald's I'd have came straight here and fucked you into the floor" He growled out in desire. You decided to not tell him you were joking about the McDonald's thing.
"In that case-" You sent the bag to the side and smiled as you felt him practically waiting for you to give the OK.
"Food can wait~"
Shanks
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So bored- You thought as you laid on the couch of your boyfriends apartment. Shanks, The famed biker gang leader in your state. It was famous for his skills, the brutality of his gang and the unfortunate missing arm from a accident to save a child.
However for you he was just the love of your life- and also the one who had left 3 hours ago to do some sort of meet up with his gang which always ment leaving you behind-
Deciding to text him you open your phone to snapchat seeing he was still at the bar and sent a message.
Me: Red I'm Bored 😴
Red Head: I know Babe but I'll be home soon.
Me: It's been 3 hours 🙃
Red Head: Almost done here. I'll Bring you flowers if you're good.
You rolled your eyes- Flowers if your Good hm? You stewed for a moment before jumping up and marching to the bathroom. Maybe it was boredom or sexual frustration but you figured some teasing was in order- Deciding to take off your bottoms you poses in the mirror and snapped a quick picture. Smiling as you loaded it to send
Me: Good like this? {Image}
Prepared to hit send you stopped yourself and sgiggled... This was so stupid. Why would you do this? Rational thought clearing your heated mind and you tossed the phone on the couch to stop yourself.
"Just watch TV Jesus-" You said to yourself and plopped down. Turing in the TV but heard your phone rapidly ding, raising a brow you picked it back up and your face fell- It had sent dear God it had sent. It seemed when you tossed it the screen pressed sent by accdient.
Red Head: I'll be damned-
Red Head: Holy Shit did you just take this now?
Red Head: Baby?
Red Head: I'll be over in 10 minutes..
You saw Shanks text and you felt your face grow hot. This was not how you wanted it to happen but you weren't mad either-
In 8 minutes you heard a knock on the door and you quickly rushed over to open it. Assuming his hand was full-
He smiled at you, Holding the flowers in hand which had somehow survived his speedy ride to you.
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"As promised flowers" He said with a grin and you stepped back so he could enter fully and took the flowers that were handed to you.
"Thank you" You say shyly but can't meet his gaze.
"You just love giving me a heart attack hm Love?" He purred out grabbing your chin gently to look up at him.
"I had to put away my phone so quickly cause I was at the bar with the gang" He said with a chuckle as you held the flowers close to your chest.
He leaned forward releasing your chin and began to kiss your check- His body pressing into you and you felt dizzy and warm.
"I-It was an accident" You Squeak out as Shanks layered kisses down your neck- His hand pulling you by your waist as he pulled you closer, your hand setting the flowers to whatever was closest to you as you felt warmth flutter through your body.
"Really?~ Didn't seem like one to me. As yoj said you were bored~" He said softly, you hadn't realized it but he had worked you two backwards till you felt the couch hit the back of your legs and you fell with a surprised yelp. Shanks smiling at this as he pulled away his leather jacket.
"Well let's make sure I don't leave you bored again~" He winked and lowered himself right after you.
Seems you were about to have the ride of your life~
Mihawk
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You kicked off your heels with a sigh as you finally made it back to your home. Flopping on the couch with a groan- be a lawyer they said, You'll make a lot of money they said- BULLSHIT!
You were overworked, under paid and under laid- it was brutal honestly but you did like your work to some degree and you got to meet interesting people.
You hear a ding from your phone and sigh, already prepared for some client to email- But instead you were met with a text Ling saying your photos were ready.
Photos?... OH The Nude Boudoir Photos of yourself! Jumping up you quickly press the downloadable link and open it up quickly.
It had been a gift for yourself, when your confidence had been down and wanted something to make you feel beautiful and sexy. Opening up the downloaded folder you smiled, it was a bit weird to admire pictures of yourself but the photographer had done such a great job!
However you were cut off when another email rolled in- Sighing heavily as you saw it was non other then you poss and CEO of the firm Mihawk Dracule. The man was a sticklier about everything and he was just lucky he was hot or else you would have slammed a folder in his face by now-
Mihawk D: (Y/N) I need the file for Eros vs Tuller Case. Seems file did not send correctly.
You sigh, that wasn't hard and you'd already downloaded it on your phone. Attaching the document from you phone quickly you sent it-
So lucky!-
There it had been the last thing you...downloaded- wait... it hadn't been the last thing you downloaded.
Dread filled your chest as you slowly opened up your phone once again and clicked the downloaded tap- Seeing two downloaded files, slowly opening the file you sent Mihawk only to see your naked body...
You stared at your phone and screamed- Bloody. Murder
'NO NO NO NO-!!' You panicked as you literally through your phone across the livingroom.
"I'm so so fired I just sent my boss my naked photos!" You sobbed as you fell to the floor, your face as red as a tomato and you damn near cried. You hear another ding and crawl to your cracked device and took a look.
Mihawk D: Come to my office tommorow morning early. We have things to discuss.
You were dead- So very very dead... You cried that night and shot out your resume to several firms and waited for the next morning.
On cue you arrived to the firm brighf and early, having to psych yourself up before going in. You walked in to the building and up to the executive office- you half expected to see a box and a pink slip waiting for you- your head low as you stepped into your bosses office.
"Sir?.." You say softly, looking up you saw Mihawk sitting there looking through some papers- Your eyes focusing on what he was so interested in and you damn near had a heart attack. Seeing professional prints of your boudoir images on his desk and he was looking through them calmly, He glanced up at you finally seeing your wide eyes and flushed face he pointed you over to him calmly.
Slowly stepping forward you stood next to him behind the desk- Seeing the expensive professional prints of your intimate photos sprawled out.
"A-Am I fired?.." You finally asked, Your voice no better then a shaky whisper.
"No. I quite like these infact- I've had many people in my company who have tried to flirt, I was even curious when youd act.. But ive never seen one as bold as this" He said clearly amused, the humiliation burned in your chest- especially since he knew you had a crush on him.. but now you were curious why he didn't want to fire you.
He flicked back to one of the photos, one were you had worn something akin to a playbunny outfit made of lace. He tapped the imagine a bit playfully.
"I must say, This is by far my favorite out of the lot... I'd like to make a proposal to you" He said, craning his head to meet your eyes as a smirk played on his lips.
You felt your brain turn to mush.. first that he liked them and second that Mihawk Dracule was smiling- Had you died?!
"A date if you will, But I'd like to explore your skills in your modeling afterwards. Back at my home. If you're more comfortable with a written contract that is fine with me, but verbal is just as good" He stated calmly, Heat flushing your form at his words and you skittishly nodded.
"What would be the terms of this contract?" You ask shyly, Now more interested then you thought it would be. Mihawk reaching into his caot and pulled out a satin case, opening it to reveal a beautiful necklace, it was very classy looking and could truthfully be worn with anything- but you realized it was a infinity choker with a key lock in the back.
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Warmth hitting your body once again asnyou realized what this represented.. A collar.
"Dates, a more personal relationship and some.. let's say recreations of these works?" He said calmly still holding his favorite one.
You thought for a moment, before running your fingers over the necklace and nodding softly.
"I agree to those terms" You say a bit playfully, Earning a smile from Mihawk. He stood up calmly and picked up the necklace, moving behind you as he carefully clasped it and locked it into place.
"Wonderful" He practically purred out and admired you for a moment. Head flooding your body once more at his golden gaze.
"I will pick you up tonight then, 8 sound good?" He asked, you agreeing and he patted your behind playfully.
"Good. Now Run along now Bunny, I still need the file for the Eros vs Tuller Case" He said amused, You nodding quickly.
"Yes Mr. Dracule" You say softly and as you stepped out a blush on your cheeks and a smile on your lips.
That went better then expected~
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psychedelic-ink · 2 months
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ㅤㅤㅤ✦ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐕𝐑𝐄
ㅤㅤmarcus pike x art historian!reader
genre: mutual pining, friends to lovers, forced proximity, smut, minors dni,
word count: 6k
summary: when a famous art collector is murdered, circumstances lead you to be temporary roommates with Marcus Pike.
warnings: oral sex (marcus receiving), marcus getting spoiled, some very mild angst, idiots in love
a/n: this work was commissioned by the lovely @sevillagrenada! thank you so much for your support and thank you so much for this delicious idea, I had a blast! ❤️‍🔥
** dividers made my the talented @saradika-graphics 💜💜💜
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Another day, another handsome detective at your doorstep.
It’s been a few months since you and Marcus first got acquainted. He had visited you during one of your busiest hours, asking you for information on a recently stolen painting while you were desperately trying to sort out a curated disaster by one of the interns. It didn’t end well. You ended up shouting at him to leave you alone and even though you regretted your choice in showing how distressed you were, it was what it was. What surprised you later, however, was finding him in the early morning hours with two coffees and blueberry muffins. He apologized profusely and asked for a do-over. Something that you were more than eager to oblige. 
And the rest, what most art historians like you would say, was history. 
Now he visits you almost every morning if he can. Thanks to his charm, you were now considered the number one go-to person of the FBI when it came to art theft. A title you didn’t mind having. 
“A bit early even for you, don’t you think?” you say, handing him the folders you’d been carrying. You smile as he lets out an exaggerated “oomph” and go to open the door. “Don’t be a baby, detective.” 
“I just wanted to see you, what’s the harm in that,” he answers, following you inside. “I have the day off tomorrow so I won’t be visiting.” 
“How thoughtful of you.” 
“Good to see that someone appreciates it.” 
He takes a seat as you head for the coffee machine. You’d got it a month ago, saving Marcus the trouble of waiting in line every morning before work. You appreciate having this as an excuse for him to stop by every morning. Luckily, the museum was on his way to work, meaning he was more than happy to visit you. Sometimes it’s hard to forget that this relationship between you two is meant to be nothing other than friendship, a platonic thing. But every day you find your heart swelling more and more at the sight of him. It’s been too long since you felt close to someone. It’s been even longer since you ached for a person you know you shouldn’t ache for. 
“Are you working on something with Remedios Valo?” When you turn you see him hunched over your desk, his eye meet yours, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips. “Sorry, all these books were just sprawled here. I couldn’t help but look.” 
The coffee machine comes to life, the aroma mixing in with the scent of books. 
“That’s alright,” you answer, lips feeling numb. “And yeah, Olivier is adding one of her works to his collection so he wanted me to take a look.” 
“Which one is he buying?” 
You know he absolutely despises the idea of art being bought, hidden from the rest of the world to be a decoration. You hear it in the drop of his voice.  
“Les Feuilles Mortes.” His gaze falls back to the table. “Dead leaves. The one with the woman with orange hair and green dress.” 
He hums when he finally sees it on the page, “It’s a nice one.” 
“It is. It’s one of my favorites.” 
You bring the two cups of steaming coffee. His eyes find yours as you place them down, taking a seat. “You must be excited then,” he states. “To be seeing it in person.” 
“I’m just happy it’s going to someone I know will take care of it.” 
“I did meet him once. Seemed like a decent enough guy.” 
A soft chuckle escapes your lips, “You really hate art collectors don’t you?” 
“With a passion,” a soft smile touches his lips. “But I’ll make an exception for you.” 
You shake your head, smiling into your cup as you bring the steaming liquid to your lips. He’s always like this. Making sure just how much you matter, making you feel cherished, it’s a contrast to how you feel most of the time. Your eyes fall on the painting printed onto the glossy paper. Everyone interprets art differently. In this particular piece, you see loneliness but also a peaceful serenity. The shadow bowing to the woman, them being connected with a piece of blue yarn that she’s holding. The fact that it’s blue and not read also piques your interest. It makes you think it’s not something that is forced, it’s not the fates that brought them together but something else. Something more intimate and free. 
“So, when are you seeing this stunning artwork in person?” 
“Tonight.” 
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Marcus already knows that today is going to be a long day. 
He knew it as soon as he entered his office, all fellow agents gathered in one place, murmuring. They parted like the Red Sea when he came through. That’s when the captain told him that extinguished art collector Olivier Balmaceda was found dead. Murdered. 
All he could think of was you. How excited you were to see him, and the painting, tonight. How Olivier was your friend and what would this mean for the investigation? Everyone here knew you, adored you. You being close to the murder victim certainly wasn’t good. He didn’t want you to be involved in any way, not even as a consultant. 
He steps out of the unmarked FBI sedan, his leather shoes echoing against the pavement as he approaches the crime scene. His partner, Tim, follows suit, both agents taking in the scene that awaits them.
The art collector's mansion looms before them, an opulent testament to a life steeped in appreciation for creativity. The air carries a faint scent of antique wood and the unmistakable aura of the art world. As they enter the expansive gallery, it becomes clear that Olivier Balmaceda's passion for art extends far beyond mere aesthetics.
The crime scene, bathed in the soft glow of gallery lights, is surreal. Olivier lies in the heart of his sanctuary, surrounded by the very beauty that defined his existence. The juxtaposition of life and death against the backdrop of artistic brilliance is haunting.
Tim glances at Marcus, a silent acknowledgment of the gravity of the situation. Together, they navigate the intricate dance of art and tragedy. The paintings, sculptures, and tapestries bear witness to the final act of a man whose life was intricately interwoven with the world he cherished.
As Marcus approaches Olivier's lifeless form, he can't help but feel the weight of the art that envelops them.
The art collector's mansion is cloaked in an air of somber anticipation as Marcus's focused gaze is drawn back to Olivier's lifeless form, nestled among the artworks that had once been a source of joy. The forensic team, adorned in pristine white suits, moves with meticulous precision, weaving through the crime scene like careful curators preserving a delicate masterpiece.
"Bullet entry at the back of the head. Looks like a single gunshot," Marcus hears one of them say, his voice a measured cadence amid the artistic silence.
Marcus nods, absorbing the gravity of the information. The team proceeds, each member contributing to the careful orchestration of documentation. His path takes him to the abstract painting, now surrounded by the scrutinizing eyes of forensic experts.
"We're scanning for any hidden messages or anomalies. This painting could hold clues.”
"Keep me posted," Marcus replies.
His attention turns to the delicate sculpture, now cocooned in an evidence bag. Tim approaches, his words a whisper against the backdrop of the gallery.
"Looks like they're treating the whole gallery as a crime scene. Anything stand out to you?" Tim inquires, his voice a muted harmony in the investigative symphony.
"Not yet. We need to dig deeper, find the connections between Olivier and whoever did this," Marcus responds, his words a subtle melody of determination.
The investigation shifts towards Olivier's desk, adorned with sketches and notes – a tableau of potential motives. They meticulously examines the papers, unveiling a narrative hidden within the inked strokes.
"Possible motive here. Let's see if Olivier was working on something that could've angered someone," suggests the expert, their words punctuating the air with a promise of revelation.
Acknowledging their findings, Marcus's thoughts churn with possibilities. Just as the investigation prepares to move to another sector of the mansion, his discerning eyes catch sight of a sketchbook nestled on a nearby shelf. A flicker of curiosity sparks within him, prompting the donning of gloves.
"Hold on a moment," Marcus interjects, a pause that reverberates through the dance of forensic activity.
The team halts, their collective gaze directed towards Marcus as he delicately retrieves the sketchbook. Its presence is unassuming, a silent witness to the unfolding drama. As Marcus flips through its pages, the sketches reveal a familiar artistic style, each stroke a brush with recognition.
"Wait... these look like—" Marcus begins, his words a murmur to the sketches that come to life beneath his fingertips.
Tim glances over, an inkling of recognition in his eyes.
"Isn't that—"
"Yeah. It's hers," Marcus confirms, closing the notebook.
So much for not getting you involved.
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“Captain, you can’t be serious.” 
Your eyes are drawn to Marcus, his voice holding the tone of nothing other but disbelief. Your eyes turn to the floor. Olivier is dead. Murdered. And the only proper evidence to connect the dots of what happened is your sketchbook. The sketchbook you could’ve sworn you left in your office. The sketchbook that you only kept to yourself other than Marcus and a couple of more trustworthy people. One of them being Olivier.
You close your eyes. It’s exhausting to breathe. You focus on how your nostrils flare and let it all out through a small gap between your lips. Marcus inches closer, hand firm against the small of your back. 
“I’m dead serious, Agent Pike,” Captain Lana answers, her voice calm yet cold as ice. “Until this entire case is solved, she’s on house arrest and under your care.” 
“Just because we found her sketchbook does not mean she’s a suspect—” 
“Agent Pike,” her voice cuts through the tension in the room. A sharp shudder crawls up your spine, your skin prickling with attention as you open your eyes. Despite her tone, she doesn’t look mad. “You will do what is best for our consultant. As of right now, she is linked to the case of one of the biggest art collectors for reasons we do not know. The best thing we can do is keep an eye on her and protect her.” 
His mouth slams shut, his jaw clenched. His hand deserts your back and in that moment, all you can feel is guilt. Guilt of him being forced to do something he clearly doesn’t want to do. 
To share his home. 
“I understand,” he answers curtly, turning on his heel. “Let’s go get your things.” 
It takes you a moment to realize he’s talking to you, shooting Captain Lana a glance, you follow him out of the office. 
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Marcus hasn’t said a single word during the entire drive. Even when you finally parked, he just took your bags and led you up the stairs to his apartment. Your heart felt as if it was shattering into a million tiny pieces. The poor organ was already weighted down by your friend's death, and now one of the closest people to you couldn’t even look at you. 
He drops your bags to the floor and you slowly shut the door. You don’t even have it in you to look around, not that it would matter, you’ve already been here before. You doubt anything changed. 
“I’m sorry,” you blurt out before he can say anything else. “God, Marcus, I’m so sorry.” 
“For what?” 
His hands are on you in an instant, lifting your downturned gaze. You blink away the tears, breath catching in your throat as you meet his eyes. It’s so easy to get lost in them. You could live an eternity there. “For . . for having to stay here. I know it’s inconvenient.” 
“Oh, sweetheart no, no. You could never be an inconvenience. I’m. . . I’m sorry I made you feel like that. I should’ve checked in on you. None of this is your fault understand. None of it,” his thumbs draw slow circles around your cheeks, the knot in your throat growing by the second. “And for all it’s worth, I’m happy that you’re here. I would be worried sick knowing that you’re alone.” 
Suddenly you’re being pulled into his chest, your senses completely enveloped by his scent. He gingerly cups your head from behind, holding you there, allowing you to disappear from the world for a while. 
The first tear escapes unexpectedly. It’s immediately absorbed into his shirt and the rest follows. He doesn’t try to hush you, doesn’t try to get you to stop. He allows you to break down completely. You cry and cry, until there’s nothing left anymore. Only then does he pull back, lifting your gaze to him once more. 
“Feeling better?” 
“Y-Yeah. Thank you, Marcus.” 
He shakes his head, “I’m not doing anything you should be thankful for. This…this is what friends do.” 
That’s right. Friends. 
Your eyes sting when you blink, a forced smile tugging at your lips, “Yeah, friends.” 
You’re almost certain that you’re imagining it, but you swear the crease between his brows deepens with your answer. 
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The soft glow of the TV screen bathes the room as Marcus settles onto the couch beside you. “Really? That’s what you want to watch?” 
Marcus raises a brow as he looks down at you. You’re wrapped in a blanket, looking as if the two of you have been living together for years. He loves how you’re already comfortable with the living situation. He wished he could have this in better circumstances without an ongoing murder investigation, but he’ll take what he gets. 
“I haven’t started the new season yet, it’ll be fun.” 
“It’s a murder mystery. Are you sure?” 
You snort, “I know the plot of Only Murders In The Building, Marcus. No need to remind me.” 
As the first episode begins, the room is filled with the intriguing soundtrack of the show. Marcus watches the characters unfold on the screen, but his attention keeps drifting back to you. The play of emotions on your face, the way you get caught up in the plot – it's more captivating to him than any murder mystery.
Gradually, you lean into him, seeking comfort in the shared moment. The warmth of your presence seeps into Marcus's consciousness, and he finds himself entranced by the way you become absorbed in the show. Unconsciously, his arm drapes around your shoulder, the gesture protective yet tender.
In the semi-darkness of the room, Marcus grapples with his own emotions. The line between friend and something more blurs as he navigates the uncharted territory of his feelings. As you snuggle closer, he can feel the gentle rhythm of your breath, the subtle rise and fall of your chest.
A flicker of uncertainty crosses Marcus's mind. Does this closeness mean the same to you as it does to him? He wonders if you sense the subtle shift in the dynamics between you. The arm around your shoulder, a silent invitation, speaks volumes, but Marcus Pike remains in that delicate space between uncertainty and the unspoken desire for something more. The murder mystery on the screen becomes a mere backdrop to the complex enigma of emotions unfolding between two souls entangled in the intricacies of life and love.
Marcus's heart races as he lets his hand linger on your waist. He can feel the warmth radiating through the fabric of your shirt, and he wonders if you can feel the heat of his touch as well.
He watches your face, searching for any sign of discomfort or hesitation, but all he sees is the same intensity and focus on the TV. It both thrills and confuses him – is it possible that you can be so oblivious to the way he feels?
But as he watches you, he notices the faint hitch in your breath when his hand moves slightly, as if you're aware of his touch but trying to hide it. It only fuels the growing attraction between them, and Marcus can feel himself getting more and more drawn in.
His mind is filled with images of how he wants to touch you, and he can barely contain the urge to lean in and brush his lips against your neck. He wants to feel your skin against his, to explore every inch of your body.
The tension in the room becomes palpable, and Marcus can feel his heart racing. He looks over at you, and for a moment, he thinks he sees a flicker of desire in your eyes. But just as quickly, it disappears, and you go back to watching the movie without a second glance.
His hand moves even closer to yours, brushing against your fingers lightly. He can feel the heat emanating from your body, and he knows that you're just as affected by the electric chemistry between them.
His mind is clouded with desire, and all he can think about is kissing you, touching you. But he knows he needs to be patient. He can’t just make a move and potentially ruin the friendship you have.
But as the episode goes on, Marcus can barely pay attention anymore. All he can focus on is you, and the way your body moves slightly with each scene. He can feel himself getting harder with each passing moment, and he knows he needs to do something to release the tension.
Without thinking, his hand moves to your thigh, tracing small circles on your skin. He can see your breath hitch and your eyes flutter closed for a split second before you regain your composure.
He leans in closer to you, his lips just inches away from your ear. "Is this okay?" he whispers.
Marcus relaxes when you nod, eyes still glued to the screen. He knows you want to turn to him, to witness his feelings lingering in his eyes but he also knows that you can’t for the same reason why he can’t tell you how he feels. Fear. Fear of rejection. Of loss of a friendship.
So, his hand on your thigh is as far as he’ll go. Soothing you with the simplest of touches. 
The credits roll and the episode ends, Marcus can't help but feel a lingering sense of longing. He knows he needs to push these feelings aside and focus on the case, but he also can't deny the strong connection he feels with you.
As you stand up to turn off the TV, Marcus suddenly reaches out and takes your hand in his, surprising both of you. The air between them is heavy with unspoken words and tension, but they both know this isn’t the time or the place.
For now, they'll focus on solving the murder and catching the killer. But Marcus can't shake the feeling that this shared moment was the beginning of something more – something that could change everything.
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It’s been almost two weeks now since you moved in with Marcus. And other than Olivier’s murder, things have been. . . peaceful. He’s been doing everything for you. You’ve never been taken care of to this extent before. It made you feel bad in a way, as if you were a burden to him and now he felt inclined to take care of you just because of the circumstances. 
However, you couldn’t ignore the tension either, the chemistry. Almost every night you thought of when the two of you watched TV. How close the two of you were. You often find yourself thinking about how differently that night could’ve ended. Only if you were brave enough, then maybe the friendship could’ve escalated into something more. 
While heating leftovers for the both of you from last night, the door clicks open. You expect to see his smile, the same question on his lips asking how your day was—but all you can see in his eyes is exhaustion. He forces a smile when he sees you, then silently heads to his room. Your lungs cave in on itself. Your body buzzing with worry, you look down at the barely heated leftovers. He deserves something more. Something fresh. 
So, as you quickly head down the hall to check on him, you order his favorites. You come to a halt at the door, heart beating in your throat, you knock. 
“I’ll be right there,” he says, almost apologetically, which makes you feel even worse. 
“I just wanted to check if you’re alright. Can I. . . Can I come in?” 
You’re about to head back to the living room when the door slowly opens. His tie hangs loosely around his neck, the first three buttons of his shirt wide open, exposing skin. You barely manage to tear your gaze away. He looks vulnerable, defeated. 
“I’m okay,” he clears his throat. “I promise.” 
You ignore what he says and take a step forward, forcing the both of you inside the bedroom. It smells of cinnamon. “I ordered us some food from that place you like. We have some time to relax.” 
“Relax?” 
You let out the breath you’ve been holding and trap his face between your hands. You want to make him feel good. You want to pamper him. At least this one time, you want to do something for him instead. You know what his answer is going to be if you ask him about his day—he’ll brush you off, because it’s the case you’re involved in. The murder of your friend. 
“Let me make you feel good, Marcus.” 
His eyes widen, lashes fluttering, his lips part, “You don’t have to do that.” 
“I know I don’t have to but I want to.” You quickly add when you see the hesitation growing in his eyes. “Please.” 
You notice the hollow in his cheek, the way his jaw moves as he chews on the inside. Your heart beats wildly in your chest. After what feels like hours, his head jerks in a small nod, “Okay.” 
Marcus gently falls onto the bed and you drop to your knees, taking a place between his spread legs. You can feel his eyes on you. His gaze intense as you fumble with his belt. You tug down his pants along with his underwear, his hips slightly lifting to make it easier for you. His cock is still soft. It makes a certain type of hunger grow inside you. Placing both hands on his thighs, you dip down, taking him into his mouth. He sharply inhales, cock twitching over your tongue. It doesn’t take him long to grow in your mouth, and suddenly swallowing him down proves to be harder than you thought. 
Your nostrils flare as you attempt to swallow him down, your nose brushing against the soft curls. His hand gently cradles the back of your head, and when you look up you see his head falling back, his brows furrowed as he breathes heavily through his nose. 
Parting away, you suck the base of his cock, your tongue swirling. His hips jerk and a moan rips from his throat. “That—that feels good,” he swallows. 
“You like it slow?” you say, lips moving against sensitive skin. “Tell me how you like it. Show me.” 
“You’re doing great sweetheart, just do it how it’s best for you,” he lets out a breathy chuckle. “I’m not picky.” 
Brows knitting together, you pull away and fix him a half-hearted glare. You wrap your fingers around and begin to stroke him, witnessing the flex of his thighs. “I want to do it how you like it,” you state. “Show me or I’ll stop.” 
Your lips curl as you hear him whine. It’s such a beautiful sound. 
“Fine.” 
He drags you back down to his cock, your hand falling away. You open your mouth to take him once more, thinking that he wants to fuck your mouth, but instead, he presses your lips to the side of his cock. You feel the heat of him, the bulging of his veins. 
“Wrap your lips,” he rasps and when you do, he starts to move your head up and down. 
You let out a muffled moan, the vibrations sending shivers down Marcus’ spine. His movements are slow, almost as if he’s fucking himself deep into you—almost as if he’s been thinking about this for months. Your head bobs up and down, your lips pursed around him tightly. You hear him grunt above you, and you can tell that he’s struggling to keep himself in control. 
“Put your hands back on my thighs,” Marcus commands, and you do so without hesitation. “I want to feel the bite of your nails.” His thighs are shaking beneath your touch, and you can feel the coiled tension inside him, just waiting to snap. You do as he asks, digging your nails slightly into the flesh. Another whimper falls for him, a sounds desperate and needy at the same time. He pulls up and finally slips himself into your warm mouth, your eyes water as he pushes you down, taking him whole. 
“You’re gonna make me come,” Marcus grunts, his voice punctuated by the wet sounds of your mouth on his cock. 
You keep up the pace, eager to please him. You can feel his cock growing harder and harder inside your mouth, and you can tell that he’s close. You swirl your tongue around him, pressing your lips even tighter around him. 
“Fuck,” Marcus mutters, his hand gripping your hair tightly. “I’m gonna—” 
Before he can finish his sentence, he releases into your mouth with a deep groan, his hips bucking up into your face. You eagerly take him in, swallowing around him as he spills, hot come trailing down your throat. He lets out a heavy sigh, his body going limp as he comes down from his orgasm. 
You sit back on your heels, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. Marcus looks at you with admiration and slight embarrassment, his cheeks peppered with a faint shade of red. 
“Sorry, that was quick,” he murmurs, tugging you up and pulling you to his lap. “Now it’s your turn.” 
He leans towards your lips but you stop him by pressing two fingers, they’re soft. “We can think about me later,” you say, despite the inside of your panties being an absolute wet mess. “I just wanted to make you feel good.” 
“I want to make you feel good too,” he objects, nipping at your fingers. “Don’t you. . . I thought you wanted me.” 
The guilt in his eyes is back and your hand drops away from his lips. He’s holding you tight as if you might disappear.  
“I do,” you answer tentatively. “But I don’t want you to jump into this thinking you have to. I don't want you to do anything you might regret.” 
“Regret?” he shakes his head. “What does that even mean? I’m not jumping into anything. I’m not confused if that’s what you’re worried about,” his arms around you tighten, and with that, you know you’ve said the wrong thing. “You just sucked my cock—are you telling me that was out of pity? Gratitude?” 
You cut him off, “N–No. . .” 
“Then what was it?” his voice drops dangerously low, eyes flashing with a mixture of anger and hurt. “I’m one hundred percent here. It has nothing to do with the case. And for you to do something just because you felt bad for me. . . I thought we were finally getting somewhere after all of this.” 
“Marcus—”
“I think I want to be alone right now,” he turns his head away from you but doesn’t do anything to push you off of him. Your apology dies in your throat, your mouth suddenly dry. You slowly move away, the taste of his come still in your mouth as you contemplate what to do. What to say. 
But whatever you were planning evaporates with the ring of the doorbell.  
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You’re sitting on the couch when Marcus comes home and sits on the armchair right across from you. You’re eyes slowly shift from your phone to meet his gaze, he continues to stare down, his thumbs thrumming over his thighs. 
It’s been an awkward couple of days after the argument you two had. Neither of you were brave enough to broach the subject, However, that didn’t mean what happened didn’t haunt you in the dead of night, both in a bad and a good way. 
“It’s done.” 
His words send a chill down your spine, your muscles tightening, “What’s done?” 
“The case. We found who murdered Olivier. . . and how your notebook got there.” Marcus takes a deep breath, his eyes finally meeting yours as he begins to unravel the mystery that has been hanging over your heads like a storm cloud.
"Olivier's murder... it was someone close to him. Both rival and friend," Marcus starts, his voice heavy with the weight of the revelation. "Turns out, his friend had been eyeing the same collection for years. When Olivier outbid him for that prized painting, it pushed him over the edge."
You feel a knot form in your stomach, a mixture of shock and sorrow swirling within you. Olivier, with his vibrant personality and passion for art, didn't deserve such a fate.
"And my notebook...?" you prompt, needing to understand how your own belongings ended up tangled in this tragedy.
Marcus sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Olivier... he wanted to show your sketches to one of his friends. He thought you had real talent and he was planning on gifting you that painting."
Your heart sinks at the realization. Olivier, you’re going to miss him. Marcus wraps his arms around you, offering comfort and support as the weight of the emotions you've been suppressing finally spills over. You lean into him, the warmth of his embrace a soothing balm for the wounds of the past few days. His touch is both reassuring and grounding, reminding you that you're not alone in this tumultuous journey.
"I'm here," he murmurs softly, his fingers gently tracing comforting patterns on your back. "It’s over now. You can return to your life and begin to heal."
“Heal?” you blin at him, lips parting. “Return to my life? What does that even mean? We can’t go back to normal Marcus. Not after everything. . . I—” You swallow, the knot thick in your throat. “I care about you, Marcus. I care about you deeply and I just want you to know that. I don’t want you to think it was a one-time thing. Ot that I did it because of the circumstances. I did it because I wanted to. And I wanted to long before any of this happened.” 
As your heartfelt confession hangs in the air, Marcus's eyes soften, his expression reflecting a mixture of relief and affection. Without hesitation, he leans in, closing the gap between you, his lips meeting yours in a tender kiss. It's a moment of shared vulnerability, a silent exchange of emotions that speaks volumes more than words ever could.
The warmth of his touch ignites a spark within you, a reassurance that despite the challenges you've faced, your connection remains unbroken. In this intimate embrace, you find solace and hope for the future, knowing that whatever trials may come, you'll face them together.
As the kiss deepens, the weight of the past few days begins to lift, replaced by a sense of renewal and possibility.
Marcus's hands move to your waist, pulling you onto his lap as he deepens the kiss. You feel his body pressing against yours, igniting a fire within you. Your legs instinctively wrap around his waist, pulling him closer as your fingers tangle in his hair.
His lips move fervently against yours, conveying the unspoken emotions that have been building between you for weeks. You can feel his heart beating against your chest and it's a comforting reminder that you're not alone in this moment.
He breaks the kiss, his lips trailing down your neck, leaving a tingle in their wake. You let out a soft gasp, arching your neck to give him better access. His hands roam over your body, his touch setting every nerve alight. “I’ve been wanting to do this for so long.”
Your fingers move to his shirt, desperate to rid him of the barriers separating your skin.  His lips trail down your neck again, moving to your shoulder, his hands roaming freely over your body. You let out a soft moan, arching your back as his hands reach your waist, pulling your shirt off. The cool air hits your skin but it's nothing compared to the heat radiating between you two.
Marcus and you remove each other's clothes. Your hands roam hungrily over his bare chest, feeling the muscles ripple beneath your touch. He moans softly, a sound that sends a shiver down your spine.
His hands move to your back, unhooking your bra and gently sliding it off. Your bare chest presses against his, skin against skin, and the sensation sends sparks of pleasure through your body. Your lips meet again, his tongue moving alongside yours, his hands roaming lower to your waist and down to your hips, pulling you closer.
You push him down to the couch, your hands reaching for his jeans. With ease, you undo the button and slide them off, revealing his toned legs and the bulge in his boxers. Your fingers trail down his stomach, feeling his muscles contract under your touch.
He flips you over, his lips moving down your neck and to your chest. With a flick of his tongue, he takes one of your hardened nipples into his mouth, causing you to arch your back and let out a soft moan of pleasure. His hands reach down, unbuttoning your jeans and sliding them off your legs.
As his lips continue to travel down your body, his fingers slide into your underwear, eliciting a gasp from you. You can feel the heat and wetness building between your legs, the tingling sensation increasing with every touch.
In one swift movement, he removes your underwear, leaving you completely exposed and vulnerable to his touch. But with Marcus, you feel anything but vulnerable. In his embrace, you feel safe, loved, and desired.
And you know that is something that will never change. 
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Am I the asshole for calling a (now ex-) mutual a stingy asshole?
So to start, I (NB20) am in a pretty rough situation, I'm facing homelessness soon, transphobia at home and work and my hours have been getting cut resulting in me making even less money that can sustain me. I have a toyhou.se forum post up stating I have emergency commissions open to help me out and to please support me if you can. This is where the situation begins. I have a mutual on toyhou.se who I'll call Apple (MTF22) I talk to sometimes to the point I'd say we are friends, not super close but friends nonetheless. She made a bulletin telling people about my commissions and to please comm me if they could which I'm very grateful for since I did get a few customers from her because of that. The thing is, a few weeks later, she made a bulletin talking about how happy she was so many commissions she bought were finished around the same time and posted all of them with the artists tagged in the post. It was honestly... quite a few, I'm talking like 9 pieces of art of her fursona and even a custom vtuber model she got of her sona. I was going to reply all happy for her, but it made me think... how much did she spend on those commissions?? So I went through all the artists socials to find their commission prices and came to a total of fucking $385!!! More than half of my current goal I'm trying to make through commissions to stay out of homelessness!! So I messaged Apple saying since I saw she bought a few commissions if she was interested in buying a comm from me. She replies saying "Ohh! I'd love to <333 but im just not in a place to buy any more comms right now :< sorry >.<!!" So I casually reply really? because it seems like your in the perfect place to help me out after already spending over $300 in commissions. She tells me she's sorry and really wishes someone would be able to help me out but she just wasn't that interested in my art or a custom to which I tell her she could've easily donated to my ko-fi which I have always had since she clearly has money to spend? To this, she straight up IP blocks me. So still fucking annoyed, I vented in a discord server I share with a few friends from being in a few shared CS together, saying how annoying it is rich assholes like her would drop half a thousand for a picture of their fursona but don't even blink twice at their so called friends. anyway, one of my friends takes a look at Apples th profile and notices she has a new bulletin up and sends me a screenshot, but anways the bulletin reads like "hey!! just saying, but please dont come into my dms acting like you know my financial situation better than i do, just because i buy a lot of commissions doesnt mean im made of money! and please dont think that me commisioning artist 1 means i hate artist 2? thats so weird, thanks!!!!!" and seeing all their subscribers just kissing her ass pissed me off so i made my own bulletin that just stated "i thought it was pretty fucking weird to know how bad ur friend's situation was and to go buy a bunch of comms instead of buying a comm from or even throwing a buck to help me out? like yeah im gonna think i know ur situation better than u, you stingy fuck!!!" Anyway, she mustve been block evading (which I reported her for) since she unblocked me, took a screenshot of my bulletin, then went on about how she lived in an abusive household; her dad had thrown her into a sink and chipped her tooth, bruised half her face and scarred it pretty badly. She bought a bunch of commissions immediately afterwards in a panic to make herself feel better, paying everything with her savings. Which to me.. isn't an excuse. Ive been hit and abused and still found scraps of money to pull together to give to mutuals who need it and Ive been bumping my own post like crazy and she had literal weeks to donate or comm me. Not to mention Ive had exmutuals of hers come to me saying that shes never donated anything to them either despite advertising their posts but always had money for plushies, comms and other crap, meaning Im not alone in thinking shes a stingy asshole. This is getting long, so here, tumblr AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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straightforthefl00r · 13 days
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sidekick? more like sidechick!!
There were three main outcomes Tomura had prepared for, when he schemed to attack USJ.
One: the ideal result was that he would succeed in killing All Might with his state-of-the-art nomu, and move onto the next stage of his plan to world annihilation. The world would hail chaos in one move. He would be known to everyone that he was the bringer of fear; the one who destroyed their precious peace.
Or two: All Might would, annoyingly, not die, but would be fatally injured by the nomu. This would still be partial success, as the Symbol of Peace would be out of commission, and this would mean that society would be well on its way to falling without its stability. Not only that, his League of Villains (well two villains right now, counting Kurogiri) would gain traction in the media, and publicity is always a plus. Tomura could use this to expand the League and his influence across Japan.
As much as he wanted his plan to go in any of these ways, Tomura knew he had to be prepared for any scenario — even his failure.
His third outcome was that if All Might defeated his nomu (which should not be possible due to its extraordinary power), then he should retreat and build up his forces again for another attack.
Unfortunately for Tomura, his attack on USJ resulted in the final outcome.
He escaped with three-ish, four-ish, five-ish bullet wounds, no USJ underlings and no nomu, not even its bloody body.
At this point, he was just glad he had the foresight to plan his failure. Not only were his underlings arrested, the nomu was apprehended by All Might, and he proved to be stronger than ever, despite Sensei insisting All Might has been drastically harmed in their last battle together.
He needed a fucking drink.
“Kurogiri, I’m heading out.”
The door slammed shut and Tomura disappeared into the night.
oOo
You, on the other hand, were having the time of your life.
Exams were finally over and that meant you could finally release your inhibitions, in the form of obnoxiously loud music and sweaty clubs.
You had just finished a lovely evening out with your boyfriend and friends. After a night of raving and dancing and (fairly) responsible drinking, you were just coming out of the club and on your way home.
Your boyfriend went to his apartment earlier before you, a few hours ago due to “something”. You couldn’t hear him clearly above the booming music, you assumed it was because of his chronically weak stomach. He always said that, whether it be nights out or dates. You brushed it off like it was nothing because his health mattered first.
He’ll make up for it.
Probably.
oOo
It was around 4am when it happened.
“What the fuck?” You yelped and found yourself sprawled on the floor, outside a closed bar. The street was empty, save for a few stray cats, occasionally yowling into the night.
The mass you ended up being entangled with was wearing a black hoodie. Dishevelled hair could be seen peeking out from the hood - light coloured, a stark contrast to his hoodie.
You sat up straight on the floor, trying to make sense of what was happening, veins pulsing. You could hear shallow breaths coming from the body turned away beside you.
You tried to shake the person awake, he groaned and the stench of alcohol and iron greeted you. His shoulder felt slightly damp too. You raised your hand up slightly to the yellowing street-light. Your hand had a tinge of orange, leaning more to the red side.
Blood?
“Oi, get up,” You frantically whispered into the person’s ear, “You’re fucking bleeding!”
He started mumbling incoherently under his breath. You could make out weak swears and a few mentions of “stupid fucking heros”.
You stumbled to your feet, pulling him up with you, surprisingly warm and pliant against your shoulder. You wrapped his arm around yourself to steady the two of you.
“Come on, we’re off to the hospital.”
As if snapped out of a trance, the man tried to tear himself from you and shook his head furiously. The both of you barely managed to stay standing, leaning against the nearest rough wall.
He was already facing you, when you looked at him, his eyes glaring at you, as if you were the scum of the earth.
Your hand gripped onto his wrist to steady your centre of gravity. His fist was clenched, so tightly that each knuckle looked like they would burst from his skin to reveal blood as dark as his eyes.
His brows were furrowed furiously.
You frowned at him back.
You could make out the dry skin on his forehead and, despite this, his face was surprisingly good-looking. A faint scar trailing from his cheek to his mouth caught your attention. You started to wonder where he got it from, an accident? Or was it a self-inflicted wound from scratching?
You were a bit drunk still, but the situation was causing you to sober up.
You sighed and tried to signal to him that you were only here to help.
“No hospitals,” he croaked, words low and slurred, “h-hate them.”
You agreed as to not agitate him further, “Let’s go to my boyfriend’s then. His apartment is only a street away from here.”
The man’s face contorted into a look of scepticism, as a strained “why” was pulled from his lips.
“First aid kit.”
He stared at you for a moment, debating on something, before mumbling, “I can walk by myself.”
oOo
Tomura should’ve just drank at the hideout. It was a literal bar after all, however he wanted to get away from all the scheming, nagging and his failure.
And so, into the barrel he went.
“I’m hungry.” He mumbled, eyes glazed over slightly as he stared at the head in front of him.
He was met with a hum in agreement.
“We’re almost there,” You took a breath, “but there’s a convenience store on the corner.”
He doesn’t know why you’re even doing this.
Helping him outside that bar and trying to care for his wounds brought you nothing. You looked so soft.
Stupid sidekicks and their idiot saviour complexes. Tomura was starting to get annoyed. It would be so easy to just turn you into dust.
Poof.
He concluded that it was pity driving your actions.
You looked non-threatening enough and you were still slightly buzzed. He would go through with this and then you would part ways and never see each other again. It didn’t seem like you recognised him.
A roll of bandages came into his view. The convenience store lights were harsh white and made the bandages seem brighter than they were. His head was starting to throb a bit.
“The big roll or the small roll?”
“Small.”
You raised an eyebrow.
Out on the dark streets, you couldn't see him very clearly, let alone his injuries, but in the store, it looked like his hoodie was drenched with blood from his shoulder to the middle of his chest. Even his black sweats were glowing in red if you looked at him from a certain angle. You were still deciding whether you should just cart him to the hospital after all.
You chucked the big roll of bandages in your basket. It was already full of a variety of sweets.
You giggled at the basket.
“What are you laughing at?” Tomura accused, miffed due to his answer being ignored.
“You don’t seem like a sweets guy.”
“Anyone can have sweets.”
“Just saying.”
“Right.” He answered dryly.
“Why are you all bloody?”
“Why are you buying bandages?” He shot back, “I thought your boyf had a first aid kit?”
“Because I don’t think he’ll have enough,” you gestured to all of him. “for your situation.”
“Stupid sidekick.” He muttered.
You rolled your eyes and leaned towards him, “So! Why are you head to toe in blood?” You said with a slight lilt in your voice.
Tomura wondered if you were still a little drunk. He was one to talk.
“Because I ripped a few stitches while drinking.”
“And how did you rip them?”
“Some guys were yapping about how hard ‘All Our Heroics’ was — even when he downloaded the helpers mod for it.” He answered in disgust, “All I did was engage in a conversation with him and told him how stupid he was. And then, we ended up in … disagreement.”
“Clearly.” You deadpanned. “Still. Where did you get your stitches from?”
“Work.”
“Work?”
“Yes.”
“Ah. Sue them?”
“Sue them.”
“Annihilate them?”
“Sure, annihilate.” He gave a faint smile.
OoO
By the time you arrived outside at your boyfriend’s place, the sun was starting to rise. A melody of colours took to the skies: swirling clouds painted the perfect picture of peace.
You stopped in your tracks and gazed upwards. Tomura ended up walking into your back. He cursed, as the two of you stumbled.
“This again?” He hissed, “We already knew you couldn’t walk straight at that bar and now you're sending me flying?”
You laughed at him.
“Just look up. Isn’t that pretty.”
“No.”
“Zip it before I push you.”
“Technically, you did.”
“Even more technically, you pushed me. You walked into me.”
“Yeah, exactly, walked into you, not pushed.”
You grinned at him and rolled your eyes.
You walked into the elevator and Tomura followed you in. The two of you were in a comfortable and easy silence.
You were walking to the door before you just suddenly stopped. Tomura prevented himself from bumping into you.
“Seriously? Again, again? I almost dropped our stuff.”
“Sorry about that, but I just remembered, what’s your name? I’ve just been calling you the bloody-hoodie guy in my head.” You questioned.
“I don’t give my name to strangers.”
You stared at him incredulously and gave him your name.
“There, we’re not strangers anymore.”
He was silent.
“People also don’t follow strangers to their homes.” You pointed out, “What’s your name?”
“S-Shimura Tenko.”
“I feel like you just made that up just now.”
“Aw. Shucks.”
You shook your head at him while you opened the door.
The two of you walked in and what greeted you shocked you both. You dropped your plastic bag full of junk food and bandages on the floor and stormed further into the apartment.
Two bodies were on the couch, near the balcony, heads close together and lips touching. Unneeded sounds of pleasure could be heard from where the two of you were standing. They were kissing. Very passionately.
Ouch.
You yelled out your boyfriend’s name in flaming anger.
Two heads turned so quickly to look at you, you could’ve sworn you heard a crack.
It all became clear as you slotted the puzzle pieces together.
“So, you never had chronic diarrhoea,” you sneered, words dripping with sarcasm, “you had a chronic case of cheating scumbag!”
Your boyfriend’s face was flushed when you came in, but it became even redder as you glared at him.
A resounding smack made its way through the room, making you turn your attention towards the other person on the couch.
“I was with you for two years! You fu-“
“What?” You exploded, “You literally asked me out a few months ago. How dare you do that to your partner!” You followed that with curses.
Out of nowhere, laughter echoed. And three heads turned towards Tomura. His laughter was bright and full of amusement.
When he finally stopped, a stunned silence filled the room and he spoke, “So,” he started in the same tone as you when you spoke to your boyfriend, “you’re no sidekick, you’re a sidechick!” He started to laugh again.
You stared at him in pure shock, anger dissipating into slight amusement.
“That was a shit joke.” You said after you managed to dig some words out.
“Who’s he?” Your ex-boyfriend accused, “Were you cheating on me? With that?”
It was your turn to laugh as you told him that you weren’t cheating on him but you were only helping a poor guy out, while he was being scummy.
“I’ve had enough of this,” you frowned, “We’re leaving Shimura!”
You marched over to him and grabbed his wrist.
“No, don’t use your quirk here!” Your ex pleaded, “The landlord is going to have my head.”
You huffed out a self-satisfied puff of air. “Watch me!”
“I hope you don’t mind too much. We’re off to my place.” You muttered to Tomura.
“Oi! What are you trying to-“
Tomura was cut off before he finished his sentence.
He fell through the floor with the convenience store bags grasped tightly in his hands, with your hand gripping his wrist. His pinky was aching and his head ached even more.
He yelled as he found himself on the floor with you once more, legs tangled and things rolling around on the now-dusty ground.
The two of you were laying on the ground, looking at the white ceiling. Tomura could see the walls in the corner of his eye, the colour of it matched your top.
“Sorry about that.” Your voice coming from his right, “My quirk is Rabbit Hole. I can teleport by creating literal holes in the ground. That’s why we are at mine right now and not at that idiot’s.”
“I couldn’t have guessed. Ha.” Tomura replied, oddly calm, “If I touch things with all of my fingers, I can make things turn to dust. That’s why the ground is all dusty.”
You hummed in reply.
“I’m really fucking tired.”
“Same.”
“What’s the time?”
“Shit, if I know.”
“I hoped I left a massive hole at that asshole’s. I hope that it went through all his plumbing and that his apartment is flooding right now!”
“He’s going to sue you.”
“So? Sue me!”
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ladyyatexel · 4 months
Text
Hey, what's up, hello, I'm Xel, I truly have Donald Duck levels of bad luck and yet I do not have the rage button that makes things work out if I throw a tantrum, which feels like yet another failure of media, what is the deal with this.
The deal is:
Temp job had to let me go instead of make me permanent because the economy scared the 5 people over 65 in that department out of feeling safe enough to retire
None of my applications are getting interviews and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Donald Duck tantrum did not assist me in this realm.
Holy shit seasonal depression I can't get out of bed like.... A Lot.
I have a convention to go to in February where I am selling art in the art show and where I will see many of my friends the only time per year.
I'm scared of everything haha wow 😬
I'm am an artist who just feels too upset and worried to art
I'm having trouble getting everything together and maybe will feel better with some level of stability? I need to do a lot of paperwork. It is proving hard. I have the Tumblr popular suspicions about my level of neurodivergance. (Fun story: I told members of my my family that I have thought in the last two years especially that I might have ADHD or Autism or something, and my cousin said, "Oh, honey *just the last two years?*" Obliterated.)
My abusive dad recently joined a cult and my grandmother thinks he'll try to contact me after 15 years and I'm fucking scared of him and that is Affecting Me in A Way boy howdy.
I do not have the money to pay rent even a little bit! I'm trying to get January and February taken care of maybe? So I can try to exist for this period of time and maybe not have a breakdown or get evicted or something?
Some real not awesome medical junk happening also because why not.
SO, I'm doing Tumblr's favorite thing and being a starving queer artist with brain worms who needs help. If you are interested in helping me out and making a donation to the "Why don't my Donald Duck tantrums solve my problems" fund, I would be Really Grateful.
I am on Ko-Fi, which is really just a funnel to PayPal, over here.
$2500 would keep me on solid ground. I'll try to keep a tally here in a read more along with a expenses tally if that would help you feel better about me! I know I've had to ask frequently in the last few months, so I understand thinking I'm full of it.
I have a commission to finish currently and a few buttons and things that need to be mailed. You could also ask for button and commission, but I am doing prep work for my part of the art show in mid February, so I'm not available until after then for that!
My grandfather used to do a Donald Duck impression that was really good and it convinced me that either he WAS Donald Duck or that old people all knew how to do this because they all talked like this in the era Donald Duck was from.
Here is Ko-Fi again. If there's something you'd like to see me post or unearth in atonement, let me know. If you'd like other places to aim your dead green American presidents, I can give you that too.
Thanks for reading and/or reblogging! Tell me how Donald Duck's freakouts impacted you. Take care of yourselves!
Rent is $710/month, so 1420 is January and February.
65 for the internet, 130
65 for car insurance, 130
65 for electric unless I can get the assistance plan up again, same 130
250 to survive at the con maybe?
Also just like food until i can get the foodstamps stuff sorted??
Gas???
Anyway, that's an idea of what and why, if that is helpful.
Jan 8:
We are at $460!
Thanks!
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lesbesapphic · 1 year
Text
Call It What You Want pt (1/2)
Sorority Leader Wanda AU (Inspired by Taylor Sloane)
Summary - Wanda wants to show off her girlfriend to her friends you are too much of an introvert to go to a party with her until she finds a way to convince you.
Or
What happens when one day Natasha leaves you home alone and your girlfriend, Wanda decides to pay you a visit, determined to get her way. Would you be able to say no to her invitation when she is three fingers deep in you or fall for her charms and seal your fate?
Warning - mean Wanda but in a sexual way, daddy kink, name calling (pup, puppy) , a little choking and slapping but it's Wanda!, Overstimulation, roleplaying.
A/N - Hello everyone!
It's part one of this three part series. It's seriously a whole new universe filled with angst, fluff, smut and romance! Seriously it is just the beginning @xxxtwilightaxelxxx and I have planned so much for this and really am so grateful for this commission!
Hope you all enjoy it as much as we did while coming up with this!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
(Wanda's outfit)
___________
"Mama." You called your mother as you walked back upstairs from the basement after spending more than an hour working on the new art project you had picked. Trying to hold back the beaming smile that appeared on your lips every time you think of how excited the woman would be once she would see your new art piece.
"Are you going somewhere?" You asked when you saw the woman looking through her purse for the keys. Her hands pushing aside content and placing some of them on the couch, the glass bracelet you made for her on her wrist reminded you of your first project, you were so excited to bring it to your mother. The woman would always wear it with her black shirt, like now. "Yeah. Yelena." Natasha answered and you nodded before you walked over to the bowl and threw the keys on the couch knowing exactly what she was looking for and Natasha gave you a grateful smile before her eyes got the familiar mischief look in them.
"Don't even!" You warned while sitting on the couch opposite her. Ready to fight her if she brought it up again. Recently she had started joking about getting Alzheimer's with how much she was forgetting stuff and the amount of things she misplaced and forgotten."What? I didn't say anything."
"Yeah because I stopped you." You murmured while picking up the walnuts on the table to eat a few. Ever since Natasha mentioned this forgetfulness, you had placed a bowl of various nuts on the table, after learning that the omega fatty acid helps with memory. You knew that she had been only joking about it but deep down the fear of losing her in any way scares you to your core. You wondered if the woman was aware of it, you didn't show it all that much but then you shook the thought away. She was your mother. Of course she would know.
"Okay, Malyshka, I will be back in a few hours after dealing with your aunt." Natasha grumbled at the end and you smiled in amusement, as much as your mother complained about your aunt, she couldn't deny the entertainment the woman brought to your house. You could already think of Natasha coming home and telling you all about it as you two cooked dinner.
Natasha picked up her bag and kissed your forehead as she walked past you. "See you." You picked up your phone, wondering if you should drop a text to Wanda, maybe let her know how you were going to be alone for the next few hours but decided to not disturb the blonde, instead focused on replying to her last text asking about your progress on the project.
It had been only fifteen minutes or so when you heard the doorbell. Your first thoughts were your mother forgetting something but then remembered the package, Natasha took for the neighbors earlier in the morning. You opened the door, expecting your neighbour for their package but was greeted with a sight of none other than your girlfriend, Wanda Maximoff. You usually wouldn't be caught off guard by her presence as she would always pay you surprise visit but this time, it felt different. In all your years of knowing her, one thing you had always noticed about the woman was the way she took care of herself, especially while going out so it was safe to say you had never seen Wanda in anything less than a picture perfect outfit but this time she had outdone herself.
She was wearing a blue dress with a deep neckline to reveal her cream color Brasserie that left her top half of the breasts uncovered to the point where you could see the mole on her left breast, driving you insane. You were left with an extreme urge to kiss the small spot, suck it to your heart's desire. A part of you wondered if she did it on purpose, revealing it all, knowing you won't be able to touch or play until she allows it and you couldn't even recall the last time she let you play with them. Not even a single kiss to your favorite spot. The dress tied around her waist, highlighting her figure and a slit till mid thighs where you could catch a glimpse of the soft and smooth flesh.
"Hey.." You greeted breaking a very long moment of silence after you realised that you do own functional vocal chords. If rendered speechless was really something, you were sure you were experiencing it right there in that moment. Your eyes flickered back and forth between the exposed bra and the way it softly cupped her breast, supporting them in the right way.
"Are you going to let me in or stare at my chest some more, Detka?" Wanda questioned, a smirk of accomplishment playing on her lips when you flushed a shade of red she was well acquainted with. She pushed her sunglasses up on her head and stared into your eyes, a smile of adoration when you avoided eye contact, getting shy under her gaze. Her hand lightly played with her hair that she had let down today.
"Of course..come in." You pulled the door back letting her in, your body working on auto pilot while your eyes kept on roaming up and down her figure, you had to literally take a deep breath to stop yourself. A tiny voice at the back of your head finding this all suspicious, the timing, the dress and especially the knowing smile playing on the blonde's lips but you pushed it back further, wanting to enjoy the view in front of you.
Wanda stepped in, her fingers brushing your arm sensually as she walked past you. Sometimes you didn't even know if she would do it on purpose or if it had embedded itself in her subconscious, the constant need to touch anywhere or everywhere every few minutes. Even when you two were children, Wanda would come up to you every fifteen minutes claiming a 'Huggy Time' or "Kissy Time" and would smother you in hugs and kisses. Now it has become a way for you two to make each other smile whenever one of you gets upset over something. You could still remember the first time little Wanda did it and you were too shocked to move, almost afraid of her but slowly the little girl swept her way into your small heart and you would start looking forward to those special moments with your best friend.
Wanda walked ahead in the corridor, her eyes briefly glancing to the pictures of a baby Y/N, 8-9 year old with Natasha, smiling a toothy grin but still having a timid look as the redhead hugged the child in her arm attempting to bite the cotton candy, the kid was holding. Another frame held a picture of Y/N painting with Natasha, laughing with her throwing her head back, missing a tooth as Natasha looked lovingly at her, their hand prints scattered in front of them on various white sheets. It always reminded her how even when little, Y/N had a really artistic side.
The frame she loved the most was the one where Y/N and Wanda were covered in mud, laughing at the camera holding each other's hands. The little Wanda was trying to throw mud at whoever was taking the picture and little you were trying to stop her. It reflected your childhood personalities and friendship really well. Wanda being a lot more outgoing than you as kids, she would be fighting your bullies, protecting you from the mean kids, including you in all her games, dragging you out to play with her helping you out from your shy indoor self and you would calm Wanda down from her excited state, stop her from making any bad decision especially the one that might cost you two 'good behaviour cookies', you would listen to her go off about the random of things without losing interest something other kids tend to do quite often.
Wanda enjoyed looking at the pictures, they always seemed to remind her how lucky she was to be here with you, after everything that could have gone differently, she made it on time and here she was aware that she could bring you to smile for the rest of her days, like in those frames. There wasn't anything stopping her from holding your hand. Kissing you. Calling you her girlfriend, claiming you in every way possible.
"You want something to drink?" You asked Wanda watching her look at the pictures on the wall as she gave a nod, you were glad for the distraction, allowing you to take in to her beauty without her noticing, knowing you would be too embarrassed if caught by her again. You started leading her to the kitchen.
"Mama isn't home." You mentioned it casually while walking into the open kitchen, taking out some ice ready to put in the vegetable smoothie Natasha makes in bulk for when Wanda is over. "Oh really? Where's she off to?" Wanda asked while sitting on the stool, legs crossing over top of each other, her elbows placed on the island with her head on her hand as she watched you, the look in her eyes making you shudder but you reasoned it with the ice you were holding in your hands.
"Aunt Yelena." That was enough of the explanation as Wanda nodded taking her drink from you, aware of your aunt and her antics. "Did you and Steven sort it out with Darcy?" Wanda asked while wrapping her lips around the straw, sucking up the liquid, winking at you when you paused to look at her, causing you to blush and stutter out an answer, "He-He is over to her place."
"Ha..I see." She nodded listening to your explanation on why Darcy was mad at Steven and how you were in between trying to get the duo to reconcile again when you finished, you let out a surprised gasp when Wanda grasped your tshirt pulling your face closer, "Hey.." You squeaked out a greeting and Wanda laughed softly, closing her eyes very briefly as if to capture the moment in her memory and your embarrassment turned into a smile at the melodious sound.
"Hi. Why don't you try this?" Wanda moved the straw toward you and you grimaced, quickly replacing it with a nervous smile when the older girl narrowed her eyes, "It's good for your health." She pushed it closer, the straw on your lips. You could smell the lavender body wash off her with being this close to her. You could not help but inhale it subtly before slowly gulping the leafy liquid down as fast as you could without tasting much of it. Wanda always being very particular about your eating routine, knowing you sometimes would end up skipping meals in between working on your projects. If she wasn't constantly checking up on you through her texts, she would make sure you get enough sources of iron and other minerals through disgusting smoothies like this.
"That's it.." You tried pulling away but her grip remained firm keeping you in place, "One more. Please." Wanda requested but her voice sounded far from requesting, the gaze of steel she gave you had you almost whining out loud but you could hardly do anything against the dirty blonde haired girl. Between the two of you, she would always get her way with you. But this time you blamed your mother for even making this horrendous liquid, knowing very well she would purposely do it knowing Wanda would make sure you consume it with her.
You finished taking another sip and tried moving away but Wanda didn't allow it and you raised your eyebrows in question but the blonde answered with a sweet smile that reached her eyes as she pulled you in, placing her lips onto yours and you could feel the strawberry chapstick of hers, letting out a tiny moan at the familiar taste, remembering it to be your favorite chapstick of hers. Remembering the first time you tasted it.
You were spending your time on Wanda's bed, chilling with your comic while Wanda got ready for one of her parties, you never attended those with her. The loud music and the people getting drunk was the last thing you would want to see. She was looking through her cosmetics and occasionally you would pick something up and ask Wanda its purpose being completely surprised each time with the answer. You were enjoying your scavenger hunt within her products when you came across the strawberry chapstick opening it and being so amazed at the smell asking Wanda if it tasted that way too. The older girl had only smirked at your question, taking it from you and putting it on her lips before placing her lips on yours, letting you taste the chapstick. The small kiss turned into a makeout session. Needless to say, a few hours later the sorority leader's phone was blowing with texts and calls that were drawn under the moans and screams she elicited from you.
"What's the occasion?" You asked when Wanda finally let you go, enjoying the daze she had left you in from her kiss. "I can't be nice to my puppy without an occasion?" Wanda asked, one eyebrow raised while she swirled the smoothie around.
"Of course you can, Daddy." You answered still not very convinced but if she was giving you special treatment, you were more than willing to welcome it though a part of you kept on wondering as Wanda pulled you into another kiss effectively blocking your thoughts.
Liho jumped on the counter getting in between you and Wanda stopping the kissing effectively, pulling away disgruntled at the disturbance, "I think your mother has trained her into doing all this." Wanda almost shot daggers at the cat who was now comfortable in your arms, giving Wanda one of her famous stares.
You laughed while petting the feline, "I don't know anymore. She is always fine around Darcy." You rubbed your face against the cat, softly giggling at the tingly sensation from her whiskers, before letting it go, "Of course. She hates me only." Wanda watched the two of you interact, a smile of adoration forming on her lips when she heard you laugh.
"That's not true. She is just protective of me." You corrected while you moved the straw from Wanda's drink around in the air watching as Liho tried to fight it. "Oh really? And what danger do you have from me?" Wanda asked, her voice taking in on a suggesting tone and with years of training from the sorority leader, you quickly caught onto it.
"Well what if you try to take advantage of me when my girlfriend isn't around?" You asked playing along, a little more shyly than Wanda but the tingle in her eyes was enough to drive away any shyness, replacing it with an urge to please her.
"Well, Where is she then?" Wanda asked before taking on a tone of fake sympathy, "Does she not take care of you?" She added in a sultry voice, looking you up from head to toe, making your knees feel weak as you squirmed in your place.
"She wouldn't like me telling you such stuff. I don't even know you." You answered her, avoiding her gaze as if she was telling the truth while trying to hold back your smile at the pout on her lips as she carefully approached your side and you gave her a look of suspicion.
"It could be our secret. She doesn't have to know." You let out a small gasp at her suggestion while Wanda used her fingernail to trace random patterns on your arm, she leaned in and once again you loved the height difference, as you stared at her chest, almost not noticing how close she was getting, "Tell me what you need.." She whispered in your ear, licking the shell of your ear before placing a kiss on it. Knowing exactly how much you love it. You were glad for the hold she had on your arm otherwise you would have fallen at the jolt of electricity you felt at her touch.
"I need you." You looked into Wanda's eyes and tried leaning in to kiss her, whining when the woman grabbed you by your throat, holding your head still, her lips brushing yours, turning your whine into a whimper when she squeezed your neck. Her eyes holding you in place as her thumb graze your bottom lip pulling it down slowly before pushing it into your mouth, you instantly started sucking on it with the aim of pleasing the woman in hopes she would return the favor and be a little easier on you. You could see she liked it with the way she took a sharp inhale, closing her eyes momentarily before speaking up again.
"Tell me exactly what you need me to do." Wanda retreated her thumb back to your bottom lip not before wiping your spit on your cheek, smacking it lightly when you immediately didn't start speaking, "I..I need you to touch me. Play with me." You whispered trying to look away as heat rushed up to your cheeks but the hold Wanda had on your throat didn't allow you to look anywhere else but her.
"Where?" She prodded further, her hand squeezing your throat again. You could feel your heartbeat in your throat and you wondered if the older girl also felt it underneath her hand. You longed to know if it was driving her crazy the way it was driving you.
"Wand-" You started to speak but Wanda immediately cut you off.
"Ah ah, I asked, Where, draga mea?" The endearment rolled off her tongue and you knew she wasn't going to stop until you gave in. Wanda Maximoff was in full control of you.
"I-I need you to play with my pussy."
Wanda took a sharp intake and you noticed the dilation of her pupils as she let go of your throat. "Go." She whispered, her eyes flickering up to where your room was and back to you which was enough for you to know what she wanted.
______
"Strip." Wanda commanded, sucking in her bottom lip as her eyes raked down up and down your body with the lust she barely cared to hide. Ever since you had accidentally expressed your body image issues to Wanda, she had made sure to tell you how gorgeous you were, all the scars on your body, the stretch marks you loathed seemed to make you even more beautiful in her eyes. A concept that was hard for you to understand right now but the possibility wasn't completely shut down.
"Beautiful.." Wanda whispered when your naked flesh was revealed, for a moment your insecurities almost made you discard the compliment but the mesmerized look in her eyes had you flushing a deep shade of red especially when she got closer and started kissing every inch of the exposed skin from your stomach to the side of your ribs, just below your bra while her hands slowly started taking off your bra, kissing the flesh that she revealed while getting rid of the piece of cloth. In mere seconds you found yourself down on the bed, naked from the top as you stared up at her still clothed form, your eyes lingered at her chest.
The glass heart pendant you made her in your first year of college was hanging from her neck when she got on top of you and you noticed the way it rested just above her cleavage. The lust in your eyes burned down to the love you felt in that moment when the pendant reminded you who you were to her. No matter how much you two indulge in the most obscene of fantasies, in the end you were in the safest hands, of someone who loves you and would never let anything happen to you.
Wanda must have noticed your gaze fixated on the pendant and she did one of the sexiest and romantic things she could have done as she brought up the pendant to her lips and placed a kiss on it. "Eyes on me, Pup." You felt heat in your cheeks.
"Sorry, Daddy." You gave her a shy smile before moving to wrap your hands around her neck to pull her in for a kiss but was stopped by her grabbing your hands together to tie it with a ribbon you didn't even know was there, "I am afraid a sorry won't cut it." Wanda gave you a teasing smile and you gave her an innocent look playing along, "What will I have to do, Daddy?"
"You my Detka, need to be punished." Wanda whispered, her face inches away from you as she started kissing your lips, devouring them, making you moan in her mouth when she bit your lip, her hand roaming up your thighs, cupping your pussy over your panties sliding in between your lips on your throbbing clit, "Mmm so wet and we haven't started." Wanda whispered against your lips before pulling away, "Who would have thought a mommy's girl like you would be such a whore.." Wanda said as she took off your shorts, leaving you shivering at the cold air making contact with your core.
You whimpered when her hand made contact with your pussy in a smack stopping you from trying to arch yourself more into her, "Down, pup." She reminded you while she started working on her dress, slowly pulling the straps down her shoulder, laughing sadistically you would say, when you whined, longing to touch her. "Bad puppies don't get to touch."
Slowly she got rid of the dress, her eyes locked on you and you could see the effort she was putting in not jumping you. You squirmed in your binds when her bra clad breasts were in front of you, your attention again shifting to the tiny mole that seemed to mock you of your helplessness, so close yet so far out of you reach. You wanted nothing but to learn forward and place your lips on it, Wanda smirked in satisfaction when she noticed the look on your face, her hand moving up your thigh, nails tracing the skin gradually moving up to your pussy, hovering over the flesh but not giving it to you yet causing you to whimper in need. "Daddy..please don't tease." You pleaded and put on your most pathetic face hoping Wanda would take pity on you but the witch only seemed to laugh.
"How adorable. What do you want, Darling?" Wanda asked, her hands playing with your chest, squeezing the soft mounds while her thumb rolled the nipple around, bringing the soft nub to harden.
"Make me cum." You answered and immediately wished you hadn't as the mistake registered in your brain along with the hand that immediately came down on your wet pussy in a sharp spank and your body didn't understand how to react, the pain mixing with pleasure when her hand contacted your swollen clitoris. "Is that how you ask me?" Wanda asked, her eyes fierce and you could tell that you messed up with the way one of her eyebrows was raised in question and if her hand wasn't busy hovering over your pussy as a reminder of what was going to come next if you didn't do something, she would have them crossed over her chest.
"No! No. I meant to say please please make me cum. I swear." You pleaded, your eyes fixated on her hand as you flexed your thighs knowing you couldn't do anything if she were to decide on a spanking, but it never came as Wanda hummed weighing your words, "On my terms." She declared at last and you nodded about to thank her when her hand came down on your core again in a quick spank but before you could cry or protest, the hand didn't move instead parted your lips and dipped into your wet folds causing you to moan.
You wanted to arch up your hips, guide Wanda better but you refrained from doing knowing Wanda would definitely leave you tied up if you made another mistake and the past encounters were enough to remind you how Wanda knew your body better than you. "Ah..Daddy." You moaned loudly when two of Wanda's fingers went inside you at once the wetness allowed them in without any resistance, followed by another. You gasped for breath when she scissored her fingers inside you hitting all the right spots. Soon enough you could feel your walls tighten and an orgasm building up which you were sure Wanda was aware of as the moment you looked at her, her eyes were already on you watching you like a hawk as she shook her head 'No' and you whimpered while trying your best to not let go knowing the consequences would be severe.
"Do you not want it? I don't see you begging for permission." Wanda's fingers started slowing down after a few moments as she mocked you with a tsked of her tongue and you instantly opened your mouth to plead for your dying high.
"Please Daddy..Please let me cum." You closed your eyes tightly as your cheeks flushed a shade darker, trying to search for the dying pleasure, so desperately wanting to move your legs, rub your thighs together, arch your back but Wanda had trained you into mentally binding yourself. You wouldn't move until given permission, too aware of the consequences."I know you can do better than this." Wanda taunted while curling her finger and you almost arched up into her at the sudden jolt of pleasure.
"Please. I will do whatever.. whatever you want.. anything..just don't stop. Please, Daddy" You cried out when she slowed down again, edging you to your orgasm and stopping. It was becoming her favourite game. "Look at me." Wanda whispered, her face mere inches away from you as you opened your eyes to stare in her emerald eyes. "Anything?" She asked and you nodded while biting your lip, "Anything you want." The moment those words left your mouth, Wanda's lips attacked yours.
Her fingers started moving at a faster pace, her thumb playing with your clit, it took mere seconds for her to build up your orgasm again, "Hold it." Wanda whispered in your ear when she stopped kissing you, her lips leaving butterfly kisses down your jaw to neck, you whined at her command wondering what she was thinking before her mouth dropped on your left nipple, sucking and biting the hard nub to life as your senses exploded with pleasure. "Please.." All you could do was beg, your body trying its best to hold back the climax it desired the most.
Wanda played with your chest a little before moving down to your pussy and you almost cried out in relief when she attached her mouth to your clit, sucking the bundle of nerves before tapping your thigh twice an indication that you could let go, you didn't have to be told twice as you let your body reach its climax. Your toes curled as the knot uncurled in the most pleasurably painful way letting you relax as you fall back on the bed, breathing heavier than usual, gasping for breath, whimpering when Wanda started licking up your juices before slowly coming up. You watched the woman with your hooded eyes, as she slowly licked the drops of cum off the glass heart hanging from her neck winking at you when your face heated up in the darkest shade of red possible, "Thank you." You whispered after a moment when your breathing finally calmed enough.
"It's not over yet." Wanda pecked your lips and your eyes widen in fear, afraid for your already tired body, you shook your head but Wanda only smile at you. The mean smile she would reserve for moment like these, "I don't think I can." You tugged at your hands and Wanda brushed your hair away from your eyes as her fingers already started working you up. "What? I thought you wanted to cum?" Wanda asked and you only answered with a moan mixed with a whimper of pain. It felt bitter sweet.
"I am sure, You can handle one more for me, Detka." Wanda flexed her fingers, her other hand rolling your nipple as her hand squeezed the flesh leaving you a writhing mess underneath her. "Pl-Please." You didn't know if you wanted her to stop or for her to continue but begging her seemed to be the only thing you could think of as you assumed that Wanda would know what you want but when her fingers started slowing down again as she reminded you of your promise of doing anything and you nodded, just wanting her to continue the sinful things she was doing to your body.
"The party on Saturda-"
"Yes Yes Yes." You cut her off, whimpering when Wanda pinched your nipple as a consequence of your action. "Will you accompany me?" Wanda finished and you nodded before verbally responding with an answer and Wanda let you have your second orgasm as the reality of the situation started sinking in you but you were too tired in that moment to react especially when Wanda laid down next to you, her face next to yours as she unbind your hands, you closed your legs and whimpered quietly at the sensitivity. "Thank you." Wanda looked into your eyes with such happiness that you felt pleased with your decision to say yes, grinning tiredly to yourself ignoring the embarrassment from being completely naked while Wanda was still wearing her undies. Wanda slowly sat up and the excitement returned in your eyes when the woman started taking off her bra, no wonder Wanda called you puppy with how fast you were salivating at the prospect of seeing her naked chest.
Wanda glanced back at you and when she noticed your tired yet hungry gaze fixated on her chest, she couldn't help but let out a laugh, "Aww my baby, come here." She cooed and you ignored the flushing in your cheek as you followed her lead, laying back on the bed, she guided you to her chest and you instantly placed a kiss on her mole, hearing her let out a sigh of content. Wanda loved everytime you kissed her mole, the first kiss would be anything but sexual, it would be purely out of admiration and love for her body and her. She didn't know if you did it purposely but everytime you would snuggle close or share a moment of intimacy, your mouth would find her left breast placing a kiss where the mole was, clothed or naked. It was an oddly cute habit of yours, one she would never wish to change.
You were slowly drifting off with a content smile, your lips wrapped around her nipple while her hand ran through your hair, sometimes scratching the scalp soothingly pushing you into a sleepy state only to end it when she pulled her breast away from your mouth, turning your content smile into a frown as the woman started getting up as well, muttering something about cleaning you up but you only desired to stay close to her. "Nooo." You held onto her a little tighter, determined to not give up this time refusing to let go causing Wanda to let out a laugh, "Fine. Five minutes." Wanda relented after a moment, her voice firm, holding finality and in that moment you were even grateful for the three hundred seconds if it meant being close to her, hearing her beating heart that used to scare you of each passing second but now it only left you with a feeling of content of the days you had ahead with her in each other's embrace.
_________
Hope you all loved it. We would love to hear your thoughts on it! Reblog or drop em in my asks! <3
@xxxtwilightaxelxxx suggested that you all might like this, so please take a look and reblog if you like it! Hope you all enjoy it! (Sorry for the inconvenience if it hinders your activity) cthulhus-curse
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sirfrogsworth · 1 month
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I found these replies very frustrating and fairly ableist. Do people not understand that disabilities and functionality vary wildly from person to person? Just because one person can draw with their teeth or feet doesn't mean others can.
And where is my friend supposed to get this magic eye movement drawing tech from? How is he supposed to afford it? And does the art created from it look like anything? Is it limited to abstraction? What if that isn't the art he wants to make?
Also, asking another artist to draw something for you is called a commission. And it usually costs money.
I have been using the generative AI in Photoshop for a few months now. It is trained on images Adobe owns, so I feel like it is in an ethical gray area. I mostly use it to repair damaged photos, remove objects, or extend boundaries. The images I create are still very much mine. But it has been an incredible accessibility tool for me. I was able to finish work that would have required much more energy than I had.
My friend uses AI like a sketchpad. He can quickly generate ideas and then he develops those into stories and videos and even music. He is doing all kinds of creative tasks that he was previously incapable of. It is just not feasible for him to have an artist on call to sketch every idea that pops into his brain—even if they donated labor to him.
I just think seeing these tools as pure evil is not the best take on all of this. We need them to be ethically trained. We need regulations to make sure they don't destroy creative jobs. But they do have utility and they can be powerful tools for accessibility as well.
These are complicated conversations. I'm not claiming to have all of the answers or know the most moral path we should steer this A.I behemoth towards. But seeing my friend excited about being creative after all of these years really affected me. It confused my feelings about generative A.I. Then I started using similar tools and it just made it so much easier to work on my photography. And that confused my feelings even more.
So...I am confused.
And unsure of how to proceed.
But I do hope people will be willing to at least consider this aspect and have these conversations.
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gurugirl · 10 months
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A Balancing Act | Ch. 4*
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Series Summary: Harry is a famous, rich, handsome, pop star and he’s been in therapy since his boy band days. When he meets Y/n, a beautiful and successful artist, he cannot take no for an answer when it comes to her. He’s determined to make her his even if he has to bend the rules a little at first.
Chapter Summary: Harry brings Y/n with him on his European tour but when Y/n decides she needs a break to figure things out Harry is beside himself. He's sure she's going to break up with him but she's sure he doesn't want the same things she does. When they finally talk will they both be on the same page?
Warning: 18+ only, NSFW, smut, dom/sub dynamic, angst, DDlg kink,
Word Count: 12.5k
Commissioned by @cinnamonone (thank you!! xoxo)
A Balancing Act Masterlist
A balancing act requires soft poise and harmonious alignment. The joining of differing needs and wants to acquiesce for a perfect, or nearly perfect outcome. One can’t have more than the other. All sides must be used to make a point. The leveling of opinion and decision coupled with the desire to satisfy the ideal effect.
“Put that down. It doesn’t do any good.”
Y/n looked up at Harry who’d placed his palm over her phone to cover her screen. She was trying not to obsess about the pictures of herself. There were so many. And now that she’d been seeing Harry for a few months and was on tour with him in Europe, the gossip abounded. It was wild how quickly everyone learned her name, her age, the fact that she had been married, where her art pieces were showing, and even what kind of car she drove. It was… a lot.
“I know but they’ve caught me in the worst outfit and angle and these comments-“
“Please don’t do that,” Harry spoke as he sat down next to her and slid the phone from her hands, “You’re a knockout. I’ve never once looked at you and thought otherwise. None of that matters. Okay? It’s us. You and me.”
She nodded as he pulled her into his side and kissed the top of her head, “I know. But still. I’m just not used to any attention. Not like this.”
“The best thing you can do is to ignore it and don’t look at the articles.”
But of course, that was easier said than done. Going to Europe with him had been a whirlwind. So many fans and friends and his family, day trips, flights, drivers, shopping, studio sessions, meetings, rushing, concerts, flowers, kissing, late-night talking, falling deeper for the man, and sex. There was a lot of sex.
It was stressful. It was fun, though, too. And she enjoyed spending time with Harry in his world but there was very little time for herself in her own world. She didn’t put paint, or ink on canvas the entire time she was with Harry in Europe. She never found the time, even though she had downtime, her inspiration waned. When Harry was in the studio writing, jamming, and making music she didn’t normally go. In fact, after going with him only twice she realized how awkward it was for her to be there. He was working with his band and his team. She was of no use there with him. She felt like she was just in the way. And she didn’t want to be the kind of girlfriend that followed him around like a puppy everywhere.
So she stayed in the hotel or in the villa or wherever they were staying depending on the leg of the trip. She’d venture out to go to cafes by herself, do some shopping, or just to walk around but it became a game of dodging people on the street who started to recognize her. Pictures and videos were taken without her consent. Later she’d see some of the photos in gossip articles and comments saying how she called the paps on herself because why on earth would anyone want a photo of her?
The hate came quickly. The vitriol for a woman that no one knew. Her social media accounts were stalked, screenshots taken and posted on other social media accounts about her and her art and what kind of person she might be based on old posts she’d long forgotten.
One old post on Instagram was of her out on her bachelorette party before she was married. It was a series of six photos. She was wearing something a little bit skimpy, but nothing too crazy. Most of the pictures showed her with a drink in hand, one of her dancing with some man she didn’t know, and the last one was of her the next morning with mangled hair and smeared makeup, a mimosa raised upward, and the words printed over the photo ‘hair of the dog’.
That one got a lot of attention. She was an alcoholic party girl, too fat to be wearing something so revealing, ugly, a slut (for dancing with a man), and the worst insult was “no wonder her ex divorced her”.
Yes, Harry’s fans learned that she had been married. Some knew that her husband had died (she wasn’t sure how they knew). But most assumed she was divorced because she didn’t post publicly about the tragic loss she endured. It was no one’s business, but for people who didn’t know her to make wild assumptions about what had occurred in her marriage was the most hurtful.
But on the other side of that were the fans that simply refused to believe he could be dating Y/n. Many were convinced Harry was either already in a relationship with an ex-band member from his boyband days or it was all for public relations. That her “team” and his “team” were in on something together for publicity. Because that would be the only explanation. Harry would never stoop so low as to date someone like Y/n. Someone who looked like Y/n. Couldn’t be. The Harry “they knew” would never.
Then of course there were those that thought she was simply using Harry’s fame to boost her own popularity in the art world. She was a leech, a sneak, conniving… It all hurt. She wasn’t sure she could stomach much more. And yes, it was true that interest in her art was boosted. Which she really didn’t like because it was more to the fact that “this is a piece of art painted by Harry Style’s girlfriend” rather than a painting that was pleasing to the eye and worth the price tag.
And Harry’s late nights at the studio and after a concert were tiresome. She had been catapulted into this strange reality with a famous man that she felt herself falling for. But how did she fit in with it all? She couldn’t see herself finding her place with him. It all felt very temporary. And the fact that she’d lost the inspiration to create herself was troublesome. The plan was that she could still paint and travel with him and they’d get to be together. She didn’t have to stay home to paint. It was supposed to be easy. But it wasn’t.
But as awful as all that was, she and Harry got closer. He’d arrive late to their bed, crawling over her and wrapping her up in his arms. Normally she’d wake up and nuzzle into him and sigh as they both fell asleep. Sometimes Harry wasn’t ready to go to sleep and he was very persuasive. If he wanted her, well, he had her. She looked forward to, with impatience, having sex with Harry.
Harry had changed her entire view on sex. It was nothing like she’d ever experienced before. Prior to Harry, sex was just sex. It was usually good. Sometimes she’d orgasm. But with Harry, it wasn’t just sex. It was the joining of two separate beings in an act that was vulnerable, exciting, novel, and made Y/n’s heart thrash about in her chest from nerves and thrill. She hadn’t realized how addicted she’d become to what he did. How he handled her body and her mind.
Usually, though, she and Harry had sex during the day. With the sun in the sky, curtains open, and people milling about. She had always been used to nighttime, lights out, on her marital bed sex. Harry liked to have sex anywhere. And he liked to see it all. All of her bits. He’d kiss and praise and then spank her if she tried to hide herself. They had fun together. Sex hadn’t ever been so fun. And she slowly started to see her body in a different light.
After his last show in Paris, she went to his dressing room, like she always did after a show, and he scooped her into his arms and kissed her broadly on the lips in front of everyone. He was hard.
A small gasp fell from her lips as she craned her neck back to look up at him in surprise. He only winked down at her, swiftly turned her around, and placed his hands on her shoulders. He was literally using her body to block his erection from view of his bandmates and the event staff.
When Mitch and Sarah finally made their way to their shared dressing room Harry told his assistant he didn’t need help and dragged her to his big couch after locking the door.
“Need you to take your panties off right now,” Harry spoke as he unbuttoned his pants and kept his eyes on her.
Y/n was wearing a cute maxi dress that was comfy and easy to dance in. She learned that she needed to wear clothes that were comfortable at Harry’s concerts because there was lots of dancing. But she also wanted to look cute because there was never a shortage of photos of her, no matter how much she hated that part. And if she wasn’t dancing she was a fake, a bad girlfriend, a fat blob. Oh, but of course, even if she did dance then that meant she was trying too hard, making herself look ridiculous, and then there was the odd comment about how she was too large to be attempting to dance at all.
She pushed those thoughts down as she lifted the bottom of her dress upward and slid her panties down her legs as Harry pulled a small belt with a ball at the center out of his bag. His pants were undone but his underwear was bulging at the crotch, his cock pressing outward with strain. He stood over her where she was sat on the couch and took her panties from her hands and then motioned for her to turn around, “Face the wall, get on your knees.”
“Harry what are you-“ her words turned into a yelp as he smacked her bottom.
“Do you fucking never learn?” He leaned in and spoke quietly, his voice deep and dark, “You’ll be getting paddled tonight for that mistake. Address me properly.”
Cursing under her breath she squeezed her eyes closed. She didn’t know what it was that didn’t allow her to so easily fall into just calling him Daddy like he wanted. She needed lots of reminders and her bruised bottom was proof of all of her forgetful little moments.
Part of her secretly loved it. Enjoyed the thrill of needing to be corrected and not simply giving in to him all the time.
“Sorry. Daddy. What are you doing?” Her tone clearly sardonic. 
Harry raised his brows and shook his head, ignoring her mouthiness, “I’m going to fuck you against the couch and gag you so no one hears you. Now, turn around pretty girl.”
She pulled herself to her knees and turned so her palms were clutching the leather at the top of the couch and immediately felt Harry’s hands pulling her dress up so her bum was fully exposed and issued another sharp swat to her left side. She jolted in shock before turning to watch Harry behind her.
Harry brought his hands up, her panties in hand, and swiftly pulled the material over her eyes, tying the sides to the back of her head to keep it in place.
“Uh, those are expensive! You’ll stretch them!” She countered as the material hung over her sight.
Harry chuckled darkly and she felt his lips at her ear, “Who bought them for you, baby? I’ll buy you more. Don’t worry about it. Now, keep that mouth open.”
She opened her mouth quickly and felt the silicon ball take its place in her mouth, as he adjusted the buckle to the back of her head. She was unable to see or speak as she was pushed forward, her chest being pressed into the couch. Her bottom was still uncovered and she felt the cool air of the dressing room on her skin as Harry gently caressed her flesh down to where her legs were bent at her knees and over the backs of her calves and ankles before spreading her legs further apart.
“Keep your hands on the wall behind the couch, like this,” Harry moved his palms over her arms until he reached her wrists and pulled her arms out so she kept her hands flat on the wall, causing her back to arch the slightest.
“Good girl. So hot. Unbelievable baby. Daddy’s gonna have a taste now.”
She couldn’t see much or speak at all but she could certainly hear and feel. And the moment Harry’s tongue licked up through her crease her mind shifted into another gear. Harry had eaten her out in this position before. Behind her, his nose at her bum. At first, it gave her a lot of hesitancy, worried she smelled or tasted odd. But he always insisted she was delicious and he could eat her for dinner every night for the rest of his life. His reassurances had her at ease, but it still always gave her pause.
Harry moaned into her pussy as he licked and kissed. His hands were on her ass, spreading her apart as he softly licked, licked, licked… wet and hot from clit to ass, from clit to ass, clit to ass… He spat over her and stuffed two fingers into her cunt and she squealed into the gag, the sound hardly heard in the room. Harry chuffed a laugh at her muffled noises.
Soon she was soppy and achy. Harry noticed how she was pushing herself back into him. That’s where he liked to get her. To the point she was seeking her own pleasure. Where she was so worked up she wanted more.
Harry sat back and stood from the couch and pulled his cock out from his underwear. He pressed his hips into her bottom and brushed his hands over her waist, pushing her dress higher, “Daddy needs his cock milked now. So fucking horny for you, sweet girl.”
She grunted in relief when he pushed into her. It was always a welcome moment. To have his dick inside of her, parting her insides and nudging into her cervix. He was curved in such a way that his wide cock pushed into her front wall on each stroke anytime she was in this position while he was fucking into her.
She kept her hands on the wall as he pounded into her and she steadied herself the best she could but Harry was strong and he always went in with such force that it caused her a good jolt forward on each snap of his hips. Delicious.
When his long fingers wrapped around the front of her neck he squeezed the sides and slowed his plunges, “Wish everyone could hear us. Could hear how filthy your pussy gets when I fuck it. How creamy you are. Wish they could hear how it sounds to have my cock slipping deep into your wet hole.”
Y/n felt her cheeks burn and her head get foggy under the pressure of his fingers on her throat. His thrusts increased again and the couch rocked under them into the paper-thin wall Y/n used to keep herself held up.
A knock at the door and a muffled voice from behind had Harry slowing down but never stopping, “M’busy! Be out in a bit!”
She couldn’t hear whatever was said from behind the door because her ears were ringing. Harry’s cock inside of her gave her tunnel vision. She almost didn’t care if anyone heard at that point. Her body felt so good, her pussy being worked open and split down the middle, her guts rearranged, her ass smacked, throat choked.
“Fans want me out there, but I needed you first didn’t I baby?” Harry’s thrusts were sloppy and harsh as he panted his words, “Daddy wants to fuck his come into you so you’ll be out there with everyone while my sperm drips out of your pussy and down your legs. My dirty little come hole. But that’s what Daddy’s little girl likes, isn’t it? Fuck…” Harry looked down at where he was being gripped by Y/n. Her tight little pussy working its magic on him.
Y/n’s telltale signs were beginning to show. Her thighs were shaking and her back was arching and she was grinding herself onto him each time he’d pull back. She was going to come.
Harry choked out a loud groan into the room, “Fuck! I’m gonna come!”
He reached down to rub her clit just as he began to pour into her pussy. He clenched his teeth and moaned into her ear. With the angle he needed to reach her clit his chest was pressed into her back, his stiff and sharp movements were forceful into her and she felt her own orgasm follow moments later. Thanks to his long fingers that knew just what to do and where to press to get her off.
Drool slid down her chin and to her clavicle as she came. The noise of the couch still creaking under her knees as Harry continued pushing into her increased in sound.
Harry hissed and moaned and kissed the back of her neck as he kept himself stuffed inside of her as she spasmed around him, squeezing his cock of all he had and letting it drain into her. A beautiful symphony of sex in the dressing room.
Harry laughed as he removed the gag and the panties from her face. She had small marks that dug into her skin from the fabric of the panties and the leather of the belt.
“God you’re gorgeous. Gonna go out there with me to meet the fans with my come slipping out of your cunt all night? Hmm?” Harry teased as she straightened her dress out and caught her breath.
And of course, that’s exactly what happened. She walked around and met some fans. Most didn’t know who she was. Some knew her as the girl that had been spending time with Harry. Others joked that she was following him around and that he didn’t want her there.
One pretty young thing, probably still in college, went from having her picture taken with Harry to making a snide remark to Y/n, “I love how you don’t care how you look when you dance.”
To which Y/n replied, “I’m just having fun out there like everyone else,” as she shook her hand (which she hadn’t yet washed after being fucked into oblivion) and felt Harry’s orgasm dripping down her thigh.
There was something so poetic about that moment. The secret that she and Harry shared. The reason why he was 20 minutes late to greeting his fans backstage. And Y/n was the bearer of said secret. Literally, since his come was still inside of her.
And that was just one of many times Harry fucked her in his dressing room. It became a regular thing. He’d gag her to keep her quiet but anyone who stood close enough to the door could hear him moaning and the sounds of skin smacking together and couches rocking. But no one ever said anything. It was Harry’s show after all.
There was one time when they went to an event. The lovely space was packed with people and the table they sat at was mostly Harry’s crew. Jeff and Tom were there and some others. All were people Y/n had gotten to know on some level.
And as per usual, Harry was horny. Y/n had gotten used to his extremely high libido and surprised herself even when she matched him in it. She hadn’t realized she was this way until Harry came along.
She was wearing a custom dress. Nothing like she’d ever had the chance to wear before. She’d worn lovely dresses and her wedding dress, she thought, would have been the nicest article of clothing she’d ever wear. But this dress… this dress was absolutely superior to anything she’d ever laid on her body. She loved it. It fit her so well and flattered her curves and made her feel pretty.
“Want to bend you over this table and spank you so hard right now. Tear this dress off you and make you ride my cock right here at the table,” Harry spoke into her ear as their plates of food were being placed in front of them.
Y/n just smiled and nodded as she listened to him tell her what he wanted to do. That was something she also had started to get used to. He’d do things like this in public and it startled her at first, but after some time she started to enjoy it.
When everyone began eating Harry lowered his hand to her thigh and pulled her dress up. No one could see what he was doing from under the table but Y/n felt it. The material of the dress was slowly lifted until he’d pushed the fabric up enough that he could smooth his palm up between her plush thighs and tickle her pussy with the tips of his fingers.
Y/n let out a gasped laugh and leaned forward before turning to look at Harry in surprise. He only smirked back at her and lifted his brows, “You okay, my dear?”
And Harry usually got his way. If he wanted something he could pretty much always get it. Just like how he wanted her to spread her legs wider so he could have access, she gave it to him. Just like how he wanted to slide two fingers into her cunt, she let him.
To everyone at the table, Harry was holding her thigh. Nothing more. He continued to chat and make jokes as he softly fucked his fingers into Y/n’s pussy.
And the thing about this was that he couldn’t apply much pressure, if any, to her clit, so he fingered her for nearly the entire duration of their dinner. His hand was wet between her legs as he continued slow, meaningful thrusts of his fingers into her.
She was on edge. So absolutely wrecked and worked up that Sarah interrupted the conversation at the table, “Y/n. Are you okay?”
Her chest was rising and falling fast. Harry paused his movements and looked over at his lover and realized, she was indeed a mess. Had barely touched her food when everyone else had just about finished and was panting and sweating. He smiled.
“Oh! Yeah. I… probably should,” she paused to hold back her gasp as Harry pushed his thumb over her clit, “go to the bathroom. Real quick! I’ll be right back!”
Harry was forced to remove his hand from between her thighs and she pushed her skirt down and quickly walked to the hallway where she knew the restrooms were.
Harry excused himself from the table with the excuse to check on her.
Y/n was already rubbing at her clit to make herself come in the stall when Harry barged into the bathroom, “Y/n. Come out, baby. Let me take care of you.”
Her eyes widened and she was quick to walk out of the stall. She needed him badly, “Please, your cock, Daddy,” she said as she lifted her dress and Harry pushed her to lean over the sink and pulled his cock out on her request. He was already hard. Fingering her and feeling her clench around him as she grew wetter and wetter each minute had done him in.
Her panties were ruined. He pushed the drenched material to the side and plunged into her softly as they both moaned, “Rub that pretty little clit for Daddy, baby. Get yourself off.”
It was probably the quickest fuck they’d ever had. Four minutes tops. Y/n was already on fire as her orgasm burst from her core and Harry held her cheeks apart so he could watch his cock, covered in her arousal, slip in and out, in and out until she was coming and shaking and gasping.
White gobs of her come stuck at his base as he continued fucking into her deep and he finally came, filling her to the brim with his come. He pulled out to watch himself drip from her pussy and then pushed himself back in to keep his sperm inside of her where it belonged, “Holy fuck, baby. Your pussy is incredible. Just taking my come like it’s nourishment. Fucking Jesus Christ.”
It felt so good to have Harry inside of her after nearly a half hour of slow, sensual torture with his fingers.
And as they both enjoyed, Y/n dripped of him when they went back to the table to join their friends. No one knew but Harry and Y/n and that was half the fun.
So, yeah, sex with Harry was incredible. Exciting. He never let her feel like she was lacking. He loved using tools on her. Tying her up, clamping her tits and her skin, toys, spanking, spreader bars, cuffs… She’d gotten a taste of what he liked and she loved it all.
And she was pretty sure she loved Harry too. He was the sweetest man. Very attentive and gentle, thoughtful, funny, and honest. But of course, when they were in bed he was dominant and loved to put her in her place but that only added to how much she really liked him. The duality of his nature was exciting to her. And she began to feel more comfortable with her body around him. He never once made her feel bad about her size. He clearly loved every bit of her chub.
So after their whirlwind European trip she was back in Illinois at home and trying to paint while Harry was in LA in the studio working on music and other business endeavors he’d started. They talked every night. She thought the distance would be good for her to focus on her work again but it was like she was blank. Her thoughts were only filled with Harry and what he was doing and the articles with her pictures and comments…
One evening, though, she did have a spark of inspiration. She began sketching out her canvas and mixing colors and finally, after nearly a two-month dry spell, put her brush against the canvas and began to paint. It felt good. She was suddenly struck with the need to create. Hours of building a piece with color and space and lines felt like things had felt before she met Harry.
Her fingers were green and her overalls were splattered and soiled from linseed oil and various hues she’d used on her work when her phone rang. Looking up at the clock she realized it was already 9 pm. Which was the time Harry normally called her every night before he went to the studio (it was 7 pm in LA).
She wiped her hands down her clothes and cursed as she rushed to grab the phone before the call went to voicemail.
It was a Facetime call because of course it was.
“Hello?” She rang out and adjusted the screen so she could see Harry and he could see her. She tried smoothing out her hair and wiping the smudges from her face but there was little she could do to repair her current appearance.
“Hi, baby. I miss you! How are you today?” Harry spoke, his face very close to the phone, and then as he stilled himself and the screen became clear she realized he wasn’t at home. A club perhaps. Maybe someone’s house. Definitely not the studio.
“I’m good. Was just painting a bit. Finally got a spark of creativity tonight. How are you? What are you up to right now?”
Harry sighed and grinned widely, she could tell he seemed a tiny bit tipsy, “I’m at a party and I’ve been telling everyone about you. Wish you were here so you could meet everyone. We’re just chilling, had a couple drinks, then I’m going into the studio in about an hour. Gonna be an all-nighter.”
Y/n nodded and smiled. She wasn’t surprised by any of this. He normally got into the studio late and stayed until 3 or 4 am. He was most creative at that time he told her once.
“Sounds fun. Wish I was there too.”
Just then a young woman nudged into Harry’s shoulder and came in to view on the screen, “Y/n!! It’s you! I’ve heard so much about you!”
She was clearly also tipsy. And just as she was about to respond to the mystery woman she watched as the girl threw her arm over Harry’s shoulder and licked her pink tongue up his neck before kissing it. And it wasn’t just a peck of a kiss. It was quite sensual in fact. As if she were trying to give him a hickey.
Harry laughed and pushed at the girl, prying her arm from him and the girl waved her hand at the video just before moving elsewhere.
“Sorry, Jess is clingy tonight,” Harry smiled and licked his lips.
“Oh is she? Has she been trying to give you a hickey all night then?” Y/n couldn’t help the bit of jealousy that coursed through her. She figured at that point she could trust him. He was a big flirt and she knew this about him. He gave off the wrong impression to people all the time. She’d seen women trying to shoot their shot and he would eventually have them back off but many of them never assumed he was in a relationship. She’d even overhead some women (when she was backstage after concerts) bragging about how they kissed Harry or how they thought they had a shot because he'd been staring at them, which turned out to not be true of course. But it didn’t make the sting feel better.
“No. No, of course not, baby. I wouldn’t let her do that. Only you’re allowed to mark me up.”
“But she’s allowed to lick you and kiss you?”
Harry paused and suddenly the screen was blurry as he appeared to moving through the space to somewhere different.
“Wait, hold on, Y/n.” The screen went dark but she could hear shuffling and some voices until the video showed his handsome face again but now he was outside.
“Please, baby. That was not… she’s been flirting with me a little but it’s all in fun. She’s just a friend. I would never do anything to ruin what you and I have. You know that. God, I wish you were closer so I could tell you in person and see you after the studio. Wake up to you, make love to you…” he trailed off as he spoke but kept his eyes on the screen, his face set in defeat.
“I know how you are, Harry. So I get it. But doing that right in front of me? Kind of tacky. Was she trying to make me jealous? If so, I’d say she’s not a friend.”
Harry groaned and leaned his back to a bench and nodded, “I’ll stay away from Jess. She’s just been finding me all night. I mean, I’ve known her for years so… but you’re right. Sorry.”
Y/n nodded and flattened her lips together. She really hated this. Hated feeling jealous when she figured it wasn’t necessary, hated not being with him, hated how famous he was and how everyone wanted him…
After his call with Y/n, he was careful to dodge Jess. And he hadn’t really been paying much mind to her to be quite honest. Yes, she’d been kind of all over him but he was used to that. Except now he needed to think about his girlfriend and what she might think and how it could be perceived in public. Not that any of the photos from this particular party would come out to the public – it was exclusive and contracts were signed promising privacy and respect of others.
Jess was a friend of Tommy’s and she was often invited to the parties like this and so Harry had gotten to know her over the years. She was always flirty but the question that Y/n brought up was valid. Was Jess trying to make Y/n jealous? It was inappropriate for her to kiss his neck like that when he thought about it with a clear head. Even if he wasn’t on the phone with his girlfriend, that was too intimate of a gesture to be innocent. He couldn’t allow things like that anymore. Not if he wanted to keep Y/n happy. And he didn’t want those kinds of intimate touches from anyone else these days. He missed his girlfriend.
His studio session was productive. He got a lot of writing done and set some vocals down for recording too. But he was still thinking about Y/n. Thinking about how they got off the phone and he’d apologized and she said she was fine but he knew she might not really be. They were too far apart and the distance was a problem. Harry was used to some distance in relationships. It was part of the package that he came with. But he hated it with Y/n more than ever.
He was in love with her. Deeply and madly. In fact many of the songs he started to write after meeting her had something to do with her in one way or another. He couldn’t get her off his mind. He’d dated around and had a couple of serious relationships in the past, but no one left a mark on his heart like Y/n had.
.           .           .
“I’m feeling like I need her with me all the time. But when I offered to fly her out and have her stay here with me in LA she said she thought the distance would be good. I’m going crazy, Pat. I don’t know if she is starting to think about breaking up with me or what. I don’t want her to leave me. But she’s been so aloof lately.”
Pat shifted her leg to cross over her opposite and listened. The man wouldn’t stop talking about Y/n. Every one of their sessions had been dominated by discussions about his new relationship. Harry was sensitive deep down. He had his shit together and he was many times nonchalant about dating and matters of the heart in public, but Pat knew the truth. He was sweet and his heart was delicate.
“Just let her sus everything, Harry. You can’t push her and you know that. She’s probably going through some growing pains with you. You’re uber-famous and everyone loves you and to her, it probably feels like she’s just your girlfriend who gets a lot of mean things printed about her. It’s very likely overwhelming. Maybe she’s trying to get her head on straight and figure out what’s best for her.”
“But what if she learns that she’s better off without me?”
Pat chuckled, “What if she does? Would you still want to force her to be with you?”
Harry sighed deeply and frowned, “I guess I wouldn’t want to make her do anything she didn’t like. But that’s the thing. I know she and I have something special. When we’re together it’s like everything just makes sense. I don’t want her to let all the awful things people make up about her be how she makes her decision. Because what she and I have is incredible.”
“But you’re seeing this from your point of view. Not hers. Give her space if she needs it. Keep open communication but let her decide what she can handle.”
He didn’t like the idea that Y/n would decide he wasn’t worth it. He’d finally found the one he thought was his soulmate. The one he loved and wanted to be with for the rest of time, but now she was stepping back. Putting more space between them than he liked.
And when he offered to come to her she declined that suggestion as well. Stating it would be better to be apart for a bit. Which indicated to Harry she was done or at least considering that idea. But he couldn’t understand it! How could she be done with him? He was so far from done with her. He’d never want to be “done” with her. He wanted to marry her, have babies with her, take her with him everywhere, curl into her body, and let his skin sink into hers for all eternity.
He partly blamed the night he talked to her when Jess made her unfortunate appearance and partly the fans. Harry loved his fans. He enjoyed interacting with them most of the time. He loved the attention and the enthusiasm they gave him. He loved creating for them. But they were the ultimate cock block if there ever was one. Every relationship he’d tried to maintain while being famous had, in the end, been affected deeply by his fans. Social media was brutal as it was, but when fans got ahold of the articles and posted pictures and got “involved” it only led to awful things. Many times social media stirred the pot but the fans kept the lies and the assumptions (conspiracy theories even) flying and going on for longer than it was necessary. But it’s not like he could just drop his fans. They were what his empire was built on. He wouldn’t be doing what he was doing without them. It was all a balancing act.
“I think I’m gonna go see her. Just to talk face-to-face. I can’t go on not knowing what’s really happening and doing it over the phone is not giving me the whole picture.”
“Harry… I think it would be wise to keep her wishes in mind. You are a convincing and charismatic man and so for you to go to her in person could interrupt her rational critique. You could just be doing more harm to the relationship this way. It would be a hindrance more than anything. You might just be prolonging the inevitable and don’t you think it’s better to let things take their course naturally? You don’t always have to make all the moves and sway the outcome. This isn’t a business. This is love and relationship stuff. It doesn’t follow the same rules.”
.           .           .
Y/n had been feeling pretty good. Her mind was clear and her inspiration was at an all-time high. It had been a month since she’d seen Harry in person but they still spoke almost every night. She still loved him. She missed him, but the time apart felt necessary. Felt like she could grasp reality again.
But one thing was certain with the distance. It was that she couldn’t take not seeing him and touching him. She was thriving, but she was beginning to miss him more than she thought she would. Instead of getting easier, it got harder. Her nights would be spent thinking of him, what it would be like living with him, kissing him, marriage, babies… But she wasn’t sure if he was feeling like they were headed in that direction. Because if he didn’t feel like any of that was in their future then the relationship should be stopped. It couldn’t continue to jog along on the same path that it had been. They needed to progress and she needed to know he was committed to her and that he felt the same way. But as it was, their relationship was very good, it just wasn’t the kind of relationship that felt like it could move beyond what it was. She needed to tell him and be honest about what she wanted. Marriage, babies, 100% commitment… But what would happen once she told him all of this? Would he run for the hills? It could very well be the end of them.
.           .           .
She had insisted that he not come to the gallery where her work was displayed. It was in New York City and he begged to come. He told her he would take some time off before the next leg of his tour began. Told her that he had a beautiful spot he always stayed at and she could be with him and he’d take her out to his favorite restaurant in the city… but she said no. And Pat told him to listen to her.
Which was hard for him. Harry didn’t like being told no, and normally, no didn’t matter much (of course depending on the situation). Normally, he’d just go anyway and surprise her and dote on her, and in his mind, she’d be so happy and they’d have amazing sex and things would go back to how they were before she pushed for distance. But that’s not how it went.
Instead, she had a weekend in New York City without him. They spoke every night and she told him everything and he pleaded with her some more to let him come to her but she still said no.
On Sunday when they got off the phone Harry was beside himself. She had been too busy to really talk. She was getting on a flight to go back home so he understood why but that didn’t mean he was okay. He cried. He felt his heart drop and felt her slip away. She didn’t want to see him, she didn’t want his support, and she wouldn’t go to see him either… so what was left?
He’d been good and paying attention to, heeding Pat’s advice. He knew she was right. He knew he couldn’t force her hand in this. But God did it hurt. If only she’d let him visit her she’d see how good they were together. Nothing else mattered.
But he needed to know what she wanted. Because it didn’t feel like she wanted the same thing. They needed to talk, face-to-face, and he needed her to be direct. To rip off the band-aid once and for all. Then he could begin to heal and try to get over her.
When she called him the following day it was unexpected because it was much earlier than they usually had their calls and it was just a call, not a Facetime chat.
“Hi. How are you?”
Harry had had a lump in his throat for the last few days with his thoughts about her. About how she was going to end it. About how she didn’t really want to put in the effort to be with him. That he wasn’t worth it. That his fame and his fans were too much.
“I’m good. You’re calling a bit early. What’s going on?”
“I just had some really good news! A curator bought ten of my paintings and will be hosting an exhibit at David Kordansky and I’ve been invited to go as a guest of honor of sorts, amongst the other artists! It’s going to be all these big names. Oh my god, I’m so excited!”
Harry smiled widely, “Baby, I’m so proud of you. When is the exhibit?”
“It’s next weekend! And you know David Kordansky, right?”
“Uh… no. Sorry. Should I?”
Y/n giggled into the phone, “Oh… it’s just one of the biggest and most popular galleries in Los Angeles.”
Harry’s eyes went wide, “Here? You’re coming here?”
“Yes! God, I’m so excited! You’re the first person I’ve told and I just got the news right before calling you. So, I’m still processing it all. But yeah! And a bonus is that maybe you can come! If you want. If you can!”
“Absolutely. I’ll tell everyone I’m booked next weekend. Spending it with my girl.”
She sighed into the receiver with a big grin on her face, “I can’t wait to see you, Harry.”
.           .           .
Y/n was properly nervous. She had been trying to keep her distance from Harry but it had sort of backfired. She wanted to feel out the situation without his influencing nature and his hot body, and those pink lips pecking at her, his deep voice luring her to see it his way. The longer she was away the more she realized that she could barely breathe without him. She was so far gone for the guy that the distance only made her ache. Yes, she got a bit of her creative spark back, but she felt like that was more of an internal issue than it was to do with Harry.
But her nerves weren’t because she was going to see him after over a month. The nerves were because she needed to confront him with her real feelings and find out if he was on the same page. She had to know once and for all what he wanted. And if any of her ideas of where the relationship should head weren’t on Harry’s radar, well, it had to be over. They couldn’t continue like they were. It was perpetual limbo. Purgatory. She loved him and if she were younger with more time to spare she’d enjoy traveling with Harry and just having fun without expectation of where their final destination would land them. But as it was, she wanted to start having babies in the next few years. And if Harry didn’t then she’d need to start over and begin dating around. And that takes time. So she needed to get a move on. Find someone that wanted the same things she did. If that wasn’t Harry.
She had planned for the worst. All the scenarios in her mind led to them breaking up. She couldn’t imagine that Harry would be willing to settle down with her. He had the whole world at his fingertips. And she was just a girl from the Midwest. She really didn’t imagine that they had much more left to pick at. The pages stopped turning. The well had run dry. It was fun while it lasted.
Harry had his driver take him to the airport to pick her up. She told Harry she could just take a taxi but he didn’t want to miss a single moment with her. Wanted to see her the second she arrived in LA. And he was there. Waiting for her just as he said he would.
He scooped her into his arms and felt tears prick at his eyes, “Oh my god. Y/n… I missed you so much.”
She felt her heart swell and lurch with his arms around her and his lips on her forehead. Right in front of everyone in the airport. Photos were snapped and Harry didn’t care. He looked down at her and she noticed his eyes were glossy, “Harry…” she thumbed at his cheek, “Are you okay?”
Harry sniffed and the tip of his nose was red as he nodded, “I am now.”
She’d been to his house before they went away to Europe. They spent two days having sex and just staying in enjoying one another. Those two days were her favorite memories with Harry. Not that she hadn’t absolutely enjoyed everything else they’d done together and where they spent their time but there was something really special about being in his lovely home doing nothing with him and eating some of the best food she’d ever had (a combination of Harry’s cooking, delivery from some of the best restaurants in LA, and leftovers from a fancy catered party that Harry skipped but had requested two large bags full of yummies dropped off for them).
And the moment Harry had her in his house this time around, they were tearing clothes off and making love on his big bed. Harry didn’t bother with the clamps or ties or the belt this time. He just wanted her. Wanted to show her himself and how much he loved her. In fact, he planned on telling her he loved her soon. He needed her to know how he felt.
And the irony of it all was that Y/n was thinking the same thing. She wanted to tell him how she felt. He needed to know the truth and she needed to know where he stood. But they were both hesitating and it didn’t come out quite the way they intended.
“I think we should talk a little, Harry. I’ve had something on my mind for a bit. It’s… kind of important.”
They were both still naked lying on his bed when she blurted it out. Harry felt his stomach drop. He’d been constantly on edge that she was going to break up with him and he didn’t know if his heart could handle it.
So instead of talking he sat up quickly and got off the bed, “Yeah. Yeah. Let’s talk. Um, I need to take a shower first… and then uh… we can talk. Yeah.”
Harry cried in the shower. Preparing himself for the worst. Trying to get his emotions out and let his body soak in the warm water and calming scent of his shampoo. He was a mess. And he assumed it was over.
And to Y/n, him hopping out of bed like that and running off when she said they should talk, that move was his answer. He didn’t want to talk. He didn’t want to hear her truth. He had no intention of being committed or serious with her. He only wanted sex and fun. And that was great, but she was closing in on 30 and it was time to settle down and find love. And it was clear to her now, that Harry didn’t want that. Or at least not in the way she did.
She paced in his bedroom for a bit after dressing herself but when he was still showering, twenty minutes later she went downstairs and paced in his living room. She saw a bouquet of flowers near the front door at the table with a card in it and she automatically plucked the card out to read. It hadn’t occurred to her that she would be reading anything that could upset her. But she was caught off guard by the message.
“Let’s get dinner tonight, H. I miss you endlessly. Love – O”
She flipped the card over and there was nothing on the back except the name of the florist. No date anywhere. She didn’t know when these were delivered or if he’d had dinner with his ex. Her heart sank and her stomach felt heavy.
She slowly made her way back up the stairs and realized the shower was off. Harry was done. She found him standing on his balcony looking out over his garden. He hadn’t even bothered to find her. To see what she wanted to talk about that she said was important. He clearly didn’t care.
He took a 35-minute shower and then went out to chill on his balcony.
She considered just leaving without a word. Just calling an Uber and leaving for good. Getting a hotel room and forgetting about it all.
But now she was pissed.
She opened the balcony door and Harry was startled when he heard her approaching.
She laughed as she shook her head, “Forget I was even here huh?”
Harry scrunched his brows and shook his head but before he could respond she continued, “That’s okay. I get it. You and I aren’t on the same page. You’re having fun and you’re free and getting invited out to dinner with your ex, and-“
“Wait! What? I don’t-“
Y/n put her hand up, “You heard me. It’s okay. We never made any sort of promises or real commitments. Never said we’d wind up married or together in the end. You’re at your best and you deserve fame and fun and freedom. I’m only holding you back.”
Harry put his hands on her shoulders and shook his head, “No. Y/n… this was what I was worried about that you were-”
“That I want a real relationship? I’m almost 30. I can’t be playing around and traveling the world when I don’t know what you even want. And you just made it clear how disinterested in my concerns you really are-“
“Y/n. Please. What are you-“
“Stop. All you do is tell me what I should think and what I should do. You’re too… you pressure me to see things your way and you never listen. So now you listen to me.” She swallowed to gain her composure and looked up at him squarely so he understood how serious she was, “I can see now clearly, you have no interest in making a family with me. In being with me. You’re just having some fun. And that’s okay. But our fun has come to an end. I can’t go on like this anymore. I need to find someone who wants what I want. Someone who isn’t stuck on their ex and someone who will tell the whole world about me and not pretend that I’m just someone you hang out with.”
Harry shifted on his feet. He hadn’t expected this. In all the scenarios he ran in his mind she was breaking up with him and she didn’t want to be with him and he wasn’t worth it. But she was saying she wanted commitment. He smiled and opened his mouth but Y/n scoffed.
“See? You’re not even taking this seriously! Here I am telling you I’m breaking up with you and you’re smiling! You couldn’t give a shit!”
Harry’s smile fell from his face, “No I was… You’re breaking up with me? Y/n please-“
She pushed him off of her and backed away, “Go and enjoy dinner with Olivia or whoever. I’m out of here.”
Harry ran after her, “No! You can’t leave me! Please that’s not what happened. I didn’t even see her. And if you’d just listen-“
Y/n stomped her foot and turned to face the tall man. She pointed her finger at this chest, “I’m done listening. We’re done. You broke my heart.”
Harry shook his head and followed behind Y/n the whole way to the front door, pleading with her to stop so they could talk but she continued to cut him off.
“Stop! You don’t get to push me into making a decision anymore. It’s over.”
She gathered up her bags and shakily pulled her phone out to bring up her Uber app to call for a car. She was thankful all of her bags were still near the front door.
She rushed out of the house and Harry felt like he was going mad. She wouldn’t let him talk and explain and tell her that he wanted what she wanted. Every time his mouth opened she yelled for him to stop. Screamed even. Had he been so insufferable that this was how she reacted to him?
So he watched with tears in his eyes and his heart in his hands as she loaded her things into the Uber and left him standing at his gate.
He didn’t know what he would do. What could he do? He needed to let her cool off and then he’d go to her and have a conversation. He’d make her see that they’d been on the same page all along.
He called Mitch to get advice.
Mitch asked him why he hadn’t called Pat instead but Harry insisted his best friend would give him the best and most brutal advice, while also supporting him and wishing him luck. Which is actually what happened.
“Go and surprise her at the gallery. Do something ridiculously dramatic and then declare your love for her to everyone in the room. Something like that. I don’t know man. I think you two will work it out. You’re so good together. I think she just needed some time, ya know.”
Harry sighed, “Pat’s going to hate that. But I’ve got to do it, though, right? Do something absolutely nuts to get her to listen to me.”
.           .           .
Y/n had the worst, absolutely the most horrible, awful evening. She bawled her eyes out and barely slept. Harry hadn’t even tried reaching out to her. Not that she really wanted that. She half expected it. But it only solidified everything to her. She imagined he probably slept like a baby.
The following day was the exhibit. She was not prepared. Not mentally anyway. Her tears had barely dried by the time she was entering the gallery. She put on a happy face and forced herself to talk and smile. But she only felt the dread of what had happened the day before.
The curator greeted her, bringing a glass of champagne for her to sip, “I’m amazed by your work. I think your collection fits in so nicely here. But you know I’m holding on to all your pieces until one day someone offers me a million each for them,” he laughed and Y/n smiled. She doubted that would ever happen.
The evening should have been amazing. She was meant to have Harry with her and it was supposed to be a big night for her. Something that could potentially change the trajectory of her career. But Y/n wasn’t happy. Her exciting moment was clouded by thoughts of Harry and how she loved him but now it was over.
Through the doorway opposite the entrance was a small bar area. Guests could go get their drinks and then head back into the gallery. But there were a few bar tables and some stools. Y/n had been eyeing it all night. A moment to get away and sit by herself for a while.
The room was darker and quieter, even though it was open to the main gallery. The small high-top tables had four tall, cushioned stools around each. The only person in the bar was the bartender.
“Hi. Can I have a glass of chardonnay?” Y/n leaned into the bar and her eyes settled over the array of colorful bottles lined up behind the young lady who stood at the bar.
The young woman smiled, “Sure. Anything in particular? Would you like to see what I’ve got?”
“Not really. This is going to sound so bad, but just the cheapest one.”
Y/n dug into her small clutch to pull out her phone card and then waited as the young lady poured a glass of Y/n’s cheap glass of wine.
“Your art is excellent. I’m a big fan.” The woman looked over her shoulder as she plumbed the top of the bottle with the cork and placed it back into the small fridge below the counter.
“You know my work?” It was not expected. She didn’t think the bartender would know the artists by their faces alone.
“Yes! Of course. I usually get to know who the artists are that have their pieces here. Yours is outstanding.”
She felt her face get warm from the odd feeling she always got when someone loved her work and recognized her. She still hadn’t gotten used to that feeling yet but she enjoyed it nonetheless.
When she took the glass she thanked the lady for the wine, “And, thank you for the kind words too. That means a lot to me.”
She took a deep breath and sipped her wine in the empty space as she attempted to let her bad mood dissolve. She knew it was impossible to let it go completely. Her wound was so fresh. She’d just gotten her heart broken and that would take some time to grapple with. But she knew she could be okay because she’d dealt with and come through the worst kind of tragic loss anyone can imagine. Losing Robert devastated her. For a very long time. She’d only gotten to a place where she felt she was ready to find love again. And her short time with Harry was nothing in comparison to what she’d suffered. So yeah, she’d been through far worse. She’d be okay.
The music that played in the small space was slow and the tune sounded a lot like an old Foo Fighters song. But it was all instrumental and she couldn’t be sure. She pulled out her cell phone and decided to text her sister. Catch up a bit. Feel something sweet and nostalgic to get her mind off of her sorrows.
She smiled when her sister texted back with a picture of the kids.
She looked up and paused to listen closely to the music playing again. Yeah. It was an instrumental version - definitely Foo Fighters. Everlong. That was the song! She snapped her fingers and smiled again as he looked back at the picture of her nieces.
“Excuse me, Mrs. Y/n. This is for you.” The bartender laid an envelope down on the table. It had her name written on it.
This felt very reminiscent of-
She looked around the room and out into the gallery, where people fitted in lovely outfits and amazing hairstyles milled about, in search of the one person that might have had something to do with this.
She looked back down at the envelope and toward the young lady who had already gone back behind the bar, “Who gave this to you?” She was hesitant to open it.
“Ms. Adams. The gallery’s director. She said it was from a very special guest.”
A very special guest.
She wasted no more time in ripping the top of the envelope open knowing already who it was from.
She braced herself for what she might read on the folded paper inside. Her heart walloped in her chest and she felt her throat go dry as she carefully pulled the paper out and unfolded it.
I’m sorry for the way things happened yesterday. I wanted to tell you so much more. I need you in my life, Y/n. Take a drink in the director’s office with me? Please? - H
She swallowed thickly and placed the paper down on the lacquered wood. The words stared up at her. Very reminiscent of that night. Their first night together.
She decided to take a moment. Finish her glass of wine and find her resolve. She’d see him. Because of course, she would. She’d fallen for the guy and perhaps closure would be good. For both of them. She tried not to get her hopes up.
But even with the idea that she wouldn’t get her hopes up, from the very base of her spine, small bursts of hope began spreading over her back, warming her up and causing the edge of her lip to flick upward the tiniest bit.
She had to stop. She couldn’t allow the butterflies and the warmth to cover her chest. This wasn’t an olive branch. This wasn’t hope. But that was what her body was feeling, the way it reacted after reading his words.
Stop.
She read the note again and the right side of her mouth quirked but she stifled the smile that tried breaking out over her features.
“Uh, hi!” She scooted off her stool and waved at the bartender, “Do you know where the director’s office is by chance?” The young woman smiled, “Follow me, Ms. Y/n.”
Y/n followed behind the young woman to a doorway at the far end of the room and into a hallway. Framed prints were hung along the wall and the floor was dark wood while the walls were a light cream. A few doors were passed, the bathrooms, a numbered room, until finally, they reached the director’s office.
The woman knocked before turning the knob to open the door and stood back, “Here you are.” She gestured at the open door.
“Thank you.” Y/n wavered in her movements wondering if this was the right thing. Should she entertain this idea? Of course, she was going to entertain this idea, but part of her wanted to keep her tough exterior and remain firm in her decision.
Slowly pushing the door further open, she stepped into the threshold and was met with a quaint office-sized room. The same dark wood floors sprawled below her feet, but the very first thing her eyes landed on was that of Harry holding a bouquet of flowers and wearing a soft smile.  
She closed the door behind her and stepped in a couple of feet. He was in a well-fitted navy suit and he looked tired. But he was handsome.
The thought quickly hit her. How did he get in here? Who let him use the director’s office? But then, as he ran his ringed fingers through his hair and she saw remnants of chipped nail polish she was reminded of who he was. Not just her lover or her ex. But he was Harry. Everyone knew him or knew of him. Of course, he was allowed in the director’s office.
“Hi, Y/n,” Harry spoke reticently as he held out the bouquet to her.
He wasn’t sure she’d come to him or that she’d want to even talk to him. And he thought about making a grand gesture. Take over the audio system and declare his love publicly before everyone as he walked out into the crowd toward her. Make a scene. Make her listen. Have everyone rooting for them. Rooting for him.
But that wasn’t right. That would have been too pushy. Not fair. This night was about her. If he’d gone about it the way he wanted it would have had all eyes on him.
He knew, though, that he needed to be here with her. To tell her how he really felt and what he wanted and then if she still wanted that with him, still wanted to be with him, they could end the night the way it was meant to be ended. Together.
“Hi, Harry,” Y/n spoke softly, keeping her eyes on his eyes as she took the lovely bouquet full of pink peonies and soft cream roses.
Harry gestured toward the brown Midcentury style couch, “Will you sit with me? I won’t take up much of your time if you don’t want. I just wanted to say some things.”
The couch was large enough for just two people. Harry was glad she had to sit so close to him. He wanted to eat her up she looked so pretty and so sweet. And just the fact that she’d come to him to entertain a conversation had him soaring.
Placing the bouquet down on the glass coffee table, Y/n noticed the bottle of wine and two glasses as he pointed, “Would you like a glass?”
Nodding her head, Harry pulled the cork out and poured her a bit of the red wine. She felt like she should say no just for the fact that she’d only just finished a glass of white wine and surely it would make the red wine taste odd. But ultimately she figured she could use another glass of wine.
“Yesterday I was working up the courage to tell you how I want to be with you for good,” Harry said as he leaned his back into the cushion behind him with his own glass of wine, “Wanted to tell you how serious I am about you. But I thought you were planning on breaking up with me so I needed a minute to figure out how I was going to convince you to stay.”
Y/n’s eyes bounced over his features as she cinched her brows inward. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Had he wanted the same thing she did the whole time?
“And I’m so sorry that it seemed to you like I was putting off a serious conversation with you. That’s my fault. I should have stayed there with you in bed and listened to you right off. Even if it meant potentially having you break up with me,” he licked his lips and sighed, “Instead, I did what I normally do and tried and figure out a way to make something work in my favor. So I paused that moment hoping you’d change your mind, or that I could come up with something. Prolonging it for the sake of just holding on to you a little longer.
“It’s because I’m selfish and I like to control the narrative. But that’s never been fair to you. So, I understand if my apology is no good anymore. I just felt like maybe I can tell you what was really happening in my head yesterday. Because that part, you did have wrong.”
Y/n blinked her eyes and nodded, “Well, then… I guess I’m sorry too. Because it sounds like I might have jumped to conclusions. I just didn’t think you’d want something serious. Long term. But there’s more to it than just that you know?”
Harry frowned and shook his head, “What do you mean?”
Y/n could see how timid Harry had been since the moment she walked into the room with him. She felt the need to help assuage him so she turned her body toward his and pulled his hands into hers before speaking, “I mean that I’m getting older and I think it’s time for me to really settle down. For good. I mean…” she breathed out a nervous laugh, “like, babies, marriage… death. All that. That’s what I mean.”
Harry nodded and raised his brows, “Yeah?”
Y/n grinned as Harry’s thumbs ran along the sides of her hands. The corner of his mouth pulled upward. She could see his swagger return in almost an instant. His eye contact was solid and his dimples carved into his cheeks.
“Well, yeah,” she started to feel flustered by his proximity, the way she could see his pupils roaming over her face and watching her mouth, “I’m not saying we need to get married but like,” she swallowed, “I’d like for us to be serious enough to know that we’d be headed that direction if things are good. And I know you’re super famous and that’s why yesterday I just…”
“I want to be with you. I want it all with you.” Harry bowed his head, finally breaking eye contact and his hands tightened around hers, “I thought you were done with me. I thought you were going to break up with me and that I wasn’t going to be worth all the trouble for you. Because I know this is a lot.”
“No. I just thought you wouldn’t want what I wanted and the way you reacted to me telling you I wanted to talk and how you didn’t come to find me after you were done showering… I felt like you were trying to figure out the best way to break it to me- either that or you were trying to avoid me. I just… Thought the worst.”
She couldn’t have described the way her insides were pulsing and expanding and churning. She’d spent the better half of the day reeling over losing him. Over knowing she might not get to look into his eyes in this way again. Might not see the small freckles on his face again and the way he blushed despite being so sure of himself. But here she was sitting with Harry and in under three minutes everything had changed. If she had just listened yesterday. If he had just listened.
“But so did I. That’s why we’re in this mess. I thought you were breaking up with me and so my behavior made you think the worst.”
Y/n smiled and allowed herself to indulge in his eyes and in the grin he was holding back and the way his fingers felt on hers… Was she just dreaming? Was she just about to wake up and realize it had all been a dream?
“Is it okay if I… ?” He pulled at her gently and slowly wrapped his arms around her and she smelled his familiar cologne. She loved how this felt. Hugging him. Feeling his solid body against hers. She eased into his hold and wrapped her own arms around him.
Harry whispered into her ear, “I should have told you everything yesterday. Let you talk and then we wouldn’t have gotten in this mess. It’s me and you, Y/n. Okay? Me and you. That’s what I want.”
Tears of relief and elated joy broke from her waterline and Harry pulled her in tighter, kissing her temple, “I thought you were done with me. I thought you wanted to break up with me,” the anguish in his voice was not missed. He’d been hurting too.
Harry brushed his palm up and down on her back slowly and pressed his lips to the top of her head, “God I was so worried this was it for us. Fuck. I’m not letting you leave me again like you did. I can’t be away from you like that, Y/n.”
Pulling her head back to look up at him she did see the glisten in his eyes from the start of tears. She knew hers matched. It all felt like a dream. But just in case it was real she needed to speak the words. Sliding her hands upward and cupping his face she was nearly trembling from relief and excitement, “I love you, Harry.”
Harry closed his eyes and pressed his forehead into hers, clutching her lovely dress tightly, “God, I love you, Y/n.”
.           .           .
Stepping into the gallery with all the other people in the room and having Harry by her side felt surreal. Everyone was watching them. She was okay to share this night with him. There was no way around it that people wouldn’t be interested in her because of her boyfriend. She figured that would be something she’d just have to get used to.
Harry squeezed her hand tight and she looked up at him. He looked proud. So important with a big, pleased smile on his lips as he looked down at her.
“You realize you’re coming back home with me after this. Right? And I’m never letting you leave me again.”
Harry had grown a lot as an individual. He still had moments where he could be pushy and use his charm to get the things he wanted, but he figured some things just couldn’t be totally trained out of him. He allowed Y/n to make her own choices. He gave her space when she needed but she came back to him in the end. He wanted her to be his and everything they’d done that had gotten them to where they were currently had worked out. So Harry had no regrets about coming to her on this night.
“Of course, I’m coming home with you. I’d be offended if you assumed otherwise,” she smirked happily. “And I wouldn’t dream of leaving you again.”
Harry couldn’t wait to get her home and make love to her. Seal it all together in finality. He knew that tonight was just the beginning for them.
And as if they could both read one another’s minds they smiled and paused together in time. Everything had finally come together for them. At last.
A/N: This is the last part of this series! Would love your feedback!
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reallyhardydraws · 4 months
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2023.
i hope any of you reading this will forgive the essay. i started posting to this art blog ten years ago in 2013 when i was just at the very end of high school, uploading short animations i'd made for one of my final projects, preparing myself for art school where i was gearing up to become an illustration/animation student.
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i went into my art foundation course in 2014, still thinking i was going to be going into storybook illustration or with faint hopes of becoming like a concept artist for game/animation, although even then i'd started thinking about patterns...
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and then in 2015 i did go into my BA, going in for that illustration with animation degree that... usually when i talk about it in real life, i say didn't really feel like the best place for me. if i think back, the best things i got out of it were two of my best friends, one of whom is now my partner. looking back on my BA era, there's some bits of sketchbook stuff...
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and while i was at university my main fandoms were thunderbirds are go and x-men for a bit... these are from the end of 2015 into the beginning of 2016...
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then for a little while i was doing this still sort of pastel-ish lineless situation:
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and i alternated between that and this thin fineliner type work (pretty sure all of the linearted pieces were done on paper and scanned, and all the lineless were graphics-tablet-only) - it was in this style that i started to offer commissions for the first time too.
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and i also had fineliner-lined work in sketchbooks that i coloured with marker and posca pens, the colours of which were generally a bit more intense just based on not being able to slide the hue/saturation around on paper:
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also 2016 was when i discovered the spongebob musical just after it's trial run in chicago (which ended in july of 2016) and i started making fanart at that point... which would have the biggest effect on the way i drew (and i did end up handing in a piece of spongebob musical fanart as one of my art school homeworks lmao)
from summer 2016 until early 2017 things were still quite soft and pastelly in my digital art, colour-wise:
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and then suddenly everything got whacked up to 100% on saturation. also i was using the binary tool to give everything really thin pixel lineart for some reason.
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then i went on vacation in summer 2017 and didn't draw for maybe a month? just short of? and when i came back i decided to change everything up again... giving characters blobbier, more ugly-cute faces with large squinting eyes and big nostrils and i was worrying a lot less about making anything look smooth, lineart-wise. i turned off the pen stabiliser in SAI and let it wiggle.
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then... the spongebob musical opened on broadway in late 2017, i went to see it live in person for the first time... and my whole brain was ENTIRELY consumed by my love of it. i was putting that david zinn inspired pattern explosion into everything, even if it wasn't sbm fanart.
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as we go into 2018, i started colouring my lineart. my biggest interest was still broadway musicals (with spongebob at the top of the list)
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i think summer 2017 - early 2018 is probably my favourite art era, i was at my most bright and colourful and exciting... although i know in my actual real life i was struggling a lot with my home situation and i had been for some time. art was definitely my escapism back then, and i think a lot of the time i drew really bright, joyful stuff to try and inject that feeling into myself.
as for my university work, i was putting my focus into 3D paper-mache puppets:
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and i was also starting to do more repeat patterns, mostly inspired by things around me. i'd learned how to make patterns actually tile and repeat in 2017, so made a few during my time at uni just to accompany some of my projects, but never as the focus of them. one of my university tutors told me that maybe i should put more focus on doing surface pattern, and maybe applying it to textiles, but i said i wasn't interested.
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i graduated from my BA in the summer of 2018, and immediately began volunteering at the whitworth art gallery doing anything i could - stewarding, helping with arts and crafts, dancing with families...
in 2019 i was still very colourful... i was trying out more chunky colouring on characters skintones that i think was def inspired by tumblr artist jadenvargen:
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but the blobbyness and ugly-cute style of drawing faces was gone by here, and i think... the way i drew characters probably had better *anatomy*, proportions were maybe a bit more realistic...
in 2020 i started adding the black shading to under the chins and some other places on characters' bodies because i started watching the anime my hero academia with my brother, lmao (and i was starting to pastelise colours a bit again, these are the most pastel-ish examples) my lineart has really smoothed back out too, though i never turned my pen stabiliser back on in SAI. i think my hand just adjusted. probably seems a bit insane to miss that, but i do.
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by the end of 2020, the almost-year of lockdown over cobid had... made me a bit insane, i think, and i moved out of my mother's house and into a flat with a friend from university.
in 2021 i think things were much the same... i think from this point on is where things have sort of settled. i don't want to say stagnated, but i do think things have been very... like this for a while.
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2022 - got the most exciting examples out...
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also i was very into these little frames in 2022.
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and then on to 2023! in 2022, i did begin trying to shift gears a bit -- hoping to put more energy into sewing and making products (like my tutor has suggested back in uni, even though i'd really resisted the idea.) i sold at a few in-person markets during winter of 2022, but got disheartened by the amount of money i had to sink in up front to sign up for a spot...
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which has made me VERY grateful for the people who have supported me via online sales. it has really helped me stay afloat in 2023 - AND it has felt more wonderful than i can describe that there have been people interested in my work... especially when a lot of it has been my original designs, rather than the fanart that i expect a lot of people initially followed me for.
i've also... in the past 2 years... branched out a bit more when it comes to 'being an artist' - and have had the opportunity to deliver arts & crafts workshops with local refugee & asylum seeker support charity, afrocats. it's taken me to their home base in a church to hotels across the city where asylum seekers were temporarily placed while waiting on their new homes, and of course to my beloved whitworth art gallery, where we welcomed visitors from all backgrounds: from the typical white middle class visitors the gallery usually expects, to all the refugee visitors coming into the space for the first time.
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and through my volunteering at the whitworth, i showed up so often they decided they might as well pay me. so i've also become a facilitator of... creative play sessions, my favourites of which have been outdoors. monthly, year-round, we have 'outdoor art club', where i get to paint with mud and make potions from leaves with kids & families - here you can see me tell you a little bit about it in this video below with 'crempog' a puppet character that makes videos about activities for kids and families around manchester (my bit starts at 01:10 although i am in the intro and thumbnail haha)
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and then of course the summer 'PLAYTIME' activities we've had the past two years: scrap studio in 2022, and play market in 2023. it's the best freelance gig ever -- just to hang out and encourage families to be creative and have fun.
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in working more in these new avenues... outside of being - as i've called myself for a long time - "an internet artist"... i've found myself more interested in this sort of thing. in being a "real world artist" too. in doing surface pattern design, and being a workshop facilitator, i find myself wanting to put more energy into these sorts of projects.
in 2023 i've also dabbled a little bit more in youtube videos! i have had a channel for a while and have made videos in previous years, but 2023 has been the year i've done the most in. admittedly most of them haven't been about my art, and more just like... random things that interest me (the spongebob musical in particular) but i've really been enjoying video editing. that's kind of an art form too, so i'm including it here!
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moving forward, want to keep putting even more of my energy into other things. my shop, with a bigger range of products to offer. workshops in real life, where i can make a difference.
as for my art blog... i feel like i've done the least drawing in many years in 2023, and... well, things have been weird and complicated for a bit in my real life. i hope to draw for fun a bit more again very soon, and to return to doing things in more of a wild and crazy way, to be more creative and exciting with the way i draw things. still, here's some of my favourites from 2023:
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thank you so much to everyone who has borne witness to my art journey this past decade!!! i hope you will stick with me, who knows, maybe for another 10 years if tumblr holds out. especially a big thank you to everyone who has ever commissioned me, or bought anything from my store, you literally keep me able to make art at all and i cannot, cannot, cannot overstate how much it means to me.
i'm moving homes soon, possibly into very cramped temporary conditions for a little while before HOPEFULLY starting my real life with my partner. if i can take one more moment to plug my work, then [here is a link to my online shop] and [here is my ko-fi page too.]
cheers, cheers, cheers!
- LOREN 🌈🍍🎉
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oops-all-concrete · 4 months
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I'm back with more BG3 COMPANION REACTIONS!
This time; Companions see Tav (yours/you) getting flirted with and being too shy/stunned to turn the person down and step in for them. As usual, the romance is only as implied as you would like! These can be read as platonic (but I'm happy to write romance specific posts if you lovelies would like)
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Lae'zel -
The concept of flirting tires her. Why make eyes and small touches and idle chatter that eludes to a 'something else' if you can just get to the 'something else- immediately? Assuming both parties are interested of course. Unlike now, where Tav is failing miserably at saying no- because they weren't asked "May I taste your flesh and you taste mine in return?" With a roll of the eyes and a calculated stalk, Lae'zel makes her way over to Tav and takes them by the wrist, dragging them away. If she's stopped, she glares and speaks sharp: "Keep your filth to yourself. If they wanted what your company could achieve, they'd roll around in the mud with an actual pig."
Shadowheart -
Wyll -
She watches from afar with some amusement for a time. But- watching them stay seated several times when the "newfound company" kept getting up and seeming eager to leave- she was happy to put her wine down for such an occasion. "Pardon me, but myself and that one have somewhere to be tonight." She says, hooking her arm in Tavs. If pressed, she'll elaborate. "Well, we travel with a Githyanki warrior, the Blade Of Frontiers, a chosen of Mystra, and a cleric of Shar who's had to put down her wine to come over here and apparently repeat herself." She smiles innocently, though her voice is piercing enough to send the stranger walking backwards with their hands up.
He waits with stepping in, giving Tav the agency to say yes or no on their own accord, but as the stranger starts getting a little too familiar, he can't sit still. "Excuse me, I'm afraid my friend here isn't available this evening" He says, friendly but firm. Of course he's challenged- too nice about it- so he stops being nice. "I should have been more clear-" he starts, placing a hand on their shoulder- watching them become more afraid with the distinct crackle and glow of eldritch energy. "You're either leaving alone- or with me. In a bag." He says again, voice darker than usual. The stranger gets the message and Wyll watches them like a hawk out of the building. "Apologies Tav, I shouldn't have been so harsh. I just have a special distaste for people like that."
Karlach -
This woman jumps in the second Tav shakes their head. "Woah, woah, woah!?" She yells from the distance she is, a lot of the tavern pausing their conversations and looking her way. "Yeah, that's enough of that. If they wanted you as bad as you think, they'd have left with you already, yeah? Hands and unfortunate looking face to yourself" She says, cheeky smile on her face, but her hands itching to swing. Of course the person is embarrassed, especially when some giggles start coming in from the crowd, possibly Tav too, but Karlach knows they're safe with the entire tavern as witness. "Let's get outta here, Tav. There's more drinks and less weirdos down the street" She smiles smugly.
Gale -
He's quite socially eloquent when he wants to be, but knows how to be tactically rude as well. The minute Tav starts shuffling subtly closer to him to get away from this other person, he's inserting himself in the conversation. "Oh, you've got art at your home? I've been meaning to talk to another art fanatic, I've quite a few pieces I'd love to discuss back in my tower in waterdeep filled with wonderful architecture, sculpture, Baroque- Oh! Are you familiar with Oskar Fevras? I commissioned him personally a while ago-" he knows he's hard to talk over, and he takes full advantage. The minute the person tries to talk to Tav- Gale immediately gives them an out. "Oh! I just remembered- Tav my good friend! I believe I've left a ring in the bathroom on the sink while washing my hands" Gale talks fast, allowing Tav all the time needed to leave.
Astarion -
Oh this man is an actor. A few times he catches eyes with Tav- notably uncomfortable, and he rolls his red eyes. He disappears for a moment, but before Tav can think, he's throwing himself between Tav and the stranger. "Darling- This is where you've been??" He says, and you can hear the offence in his voice. Several heads turn. Bar staff is concerned. Oh boy. "I thought you said you'd quit drinking?? And here you are while I'm at home waiting! Look how late it is!" It's like, 4PM, and it makes the stranger frown, but Astarion is yelling again before he can be stopped. "And who are you?? Stealing my lover away like a bandit!" He throws his arms around and sounds on the verge of (fake) tears. Of course the stranger is out of there asap, Astarion taking their seat and drink, making himself at home. He smirks at them like a little shit
Halsin -
As polite and friendly as Halsin is, he can look rather intimidating when he wants. He's huge and he knows it, and while he doesn't like doing it, he will use it to his advantage. The minute he picks up on Tavs discomfort, he's a shadow over the pair. The stranger just has a look up at the druid and that has all the effect needed. "Apologies, I'm afraid you're in my seat. My friend was waiting for me" He smiles, arms crossed in front of him, a mountainous man. If they don't move immediately, he leans down to the strangers height, because of course he's much taller. "Don't worry about paying for your drink, I'd much rather pay for that myself than a bloody floor." He says, voice even and friendly, but a vein bulging out of his forehead.
Hope you've you've enjoyed! Who are you looking to for help in this situation? (I take requests, feel free to ask!♡)
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