obsessed with the names in da2. carver's namesake is a man who granted his father freedom despite being the one who should have jailed him. other disciples came up with anders' name because he kept the one he had away from circle and templars and it is how it's been since then. fenris' name comes from his former master but he reclaimed it because he doesn't run away anymore. isabela adopted the name given her by a man who never took her seriously and then she became a captain isabela after she killed him. hawke is hawke because it's the way people refer to them and they're defined by people. all of their names. they tell a story

bet my heart, part 2

waves are gonna crash

series masterlist

My weekend was packed, not only was I performing during NHL All-Star Weekend and a celebrity captain, but I also had a sold out concert at the end of the weekend in Toronto this weekend, which Quinn, Jack, Luke, and some of their friends would be attending. I loved when friends came to my concerts, it just added to the energy in the air. I gave friends tickets basically whenever they asked, I wanted them there as much as they wanted to be there.

“So,” Jack starts causing me to look over at him. We’re waiting to start the All-Star draft. “You and Quinn,” he starts. 

“What about me and Quinn?” 

“When are you guys going to admit that you’re more than friends and so in love with each other it’s stupid?” He asks. My eyes widen for a split second before I just shake my head at him. 

“He’s my best friend, Jack,” is the only thing I say. 

“And you’re his, doesn’t mean you aren’t in love with each other.”

“I can’t listen to you be logical right now, it’s weird, I don’t like that you’re using your brain.” 

“You can’t live in denial forever,” he says as Quinn walks over to us. 

~*~

The internet was going crazy for the Quinn and Sage content that was all over TikTok. They had gotten enough content for a year during the all-star draft alone. Our friendship was the center of a lot of teenage girls' lives. They also thought we were more than friends, and read into everything the two of us did together. Which I couldn’t blame them for, I read into a lot that happened between the two of us too. Jack and I’s conversation from the draft had been on my mind since it happened. Jack was right, I couldn’t keep living in denial. I knew how I felt about Quinn, I had been having more than friends feelings for him since we were 18, probably before that if we’re being honest. Jack was hell-bent on the fact that Quinn felt the same way about me, but I wasn’t sure, and I wasn't ready to put our friendship in jeopardy if he didn't feel the same way. I was pacing the floor of my hotel room. I needed to get ready for the all-star game, it was today. I had done a mini-show last night, and my concert was tomorrow. Instead of doing anything beneficial to getting ready or making an appearance, I was doing laps around the hotel room, questioning every single moment of my friendship with Quinn. Dissecting every little moment that could have been interpreted as more than friendship.

A knock on my door pulls me from my pacing. I walk over and swing open the door to find Quinn standing there. 

“Quinn,” his name comes out as a breath. 

“Hey S, thought I’d swing by before heading over, are you okay? You’re normally way ahead of schedule, and you're not even dressed,” he points out. 

“Yeah, just a lot going on, give me like ten to get my outfit on,” I move to the side so he can come in. I grab the outfit that I was planning on wearing and walk into my bathroom. I pull on the black flare pants and my all-star jersey before walking out of the bathroom. I settle on some mid-rise Jordan’s before turning towards Quinn. “Let’s go,” I say. 

“Hey,” his voice stops me. I turn to face him. “You okay?” he asks. 

“Yeah, just exhausted, but I’m all good,” I give him the best smile I can. 

“You’re lying,” he frowns. 

“Quinn, I’m good, I just have a lot going, and we can talk about it later, but right now, we need to go, or you’re going to be late.” He looks like he wants to protest or say more, but he doesn’t and reluctantly follows me out of the room. 

When we get to the arena I start to walk away from Quinn, going to where I needed to be, but he grabs my hand before I can walk away. 

“S,” I turn my eyes to look at him. “If you need anything, just say the word and I’m there,” he says. 

“I know, thanks Quinny.” I give him a super quick hug before walking away, needing a minute, or several, to get myself together before having to see people. What was wrong with me? I had kept my feelings at bay for years. I had told myself time and time again that I didn't need anything more than friendship from Quinn, and that I was happy with that. Suddenly one conversation with Jack, a conversation that we'd had before, was making me spin out of control and questioning everything. I needed to get it together before more people started to piece together that something was wrong with me. Quinn had seen right through my lies this morning, insisting that I was okay and just falling behind. I could see the skepticism written across his face. He just didn't push me on anything, because that's how Quinn was. If I didn't want to talk about something, he left it alone until I'd willingly talk to him about it. He never pushed for details or information, he would just drop it and move on. It was sweet.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts by a hand landing on my shoulder. I jump and glance to the side to see Jack. He raises an eyebrow at me.

"Lost in your thoughts? That's not like you at all," the last bit is said sarcastically.

"I'm good," I answer. Quinn may know me the best, but that doesn't mean the other Hughes' brother doesn't see through my lies.

"Real answer, please. I can see you having an internal crisis. You're not hiding it very well."

"It's nothing," I mutter.

"So this has nothing to do with the fact that you're in love with Quinn and you're worried I'm lying when he says he feels the same?" He asks.

"I-," I'm at a loss for words I don't have anything to say in response because Jack had hit the nail on the head. That's exactly why I was freaking out.

"Sage, please, Quinn may be your best friend, but that doesn't mean I don't know you," he says.

"Jack," I sigh.

"Sage," he parrots my name back to me. "I'm not lying to you about this. I wouldn't make some shit up just for you to say something and your friendship with Quinn to crash and burn. I know the stakes of you saying something," he says. I nod, not having anything to say, because I know he's telling the truth. He wouldn't lie to me. "I won't but you about it anymore, because I know you have a lot going on, but just know that this is something I wouldn't fuck with you on," he says before leaving me alone with my racing thoughts.

MORE GENLOSS BRAINROT LETS GOOO

!!!MAJOR SPOILER WARNING!!!

Generation loss’s ending is so incredible I can not STAND IT OH MY GOD I need to write out my thoughts before my brain explodes because I haven’t been able to think about anything else since.

The first episode was an absolute curveball to everyone who’s been keeping up with the spooky ranmail and everything and I’m not gonna lie I was a little nervous about what this show was really gonna be when I was watching it. But the thought process it took behind every detail to make something so goofy actually be horrifying once you understand the context of the next two episodes WAS BRILLIANT. Every piece of the puzzle just adds more and more to the storyline and it makes me want to dissect every detail of the vods for hours.

But I think the most bone chilling part of this-very intentionally I must add- is the final sequence. We witness every one of the characters sacrifice themselves for GL!Ranboo and GL!Slime isn’t any different spending his last breaths being killed by the wire creature (for lack of better words) to make sure Ranboo hits the finish line. But as soon as you feel any level of triumph you realize that Slime is just like Sneeg in the episode before sacrificing himself to ensure the show goes on.

Because it was never about the hero.

Ranboo isn’t special. He’s just another pawn in the game with the illusion of being the protagonist to make it more interesting for the desensitized viewers watching these people die over and over.

He was never meant to win.

And then that leads to us.

The audience.

Given the illusion of choice.

Do you publicly execute this man? Or do you let him live to be tortured the rest of his miserable existence until he is inevitably killed by Showfall for breaking the rules. If you spare him, is it a fate worse than death? We fight with this moral dilemma, trying to decide if it’s our decision whether people live or die.

But he’s a murderer! He killed people and showed no remorse! Showfall metaphorically whispers in our ear that he earned this fate for the terrible actions he committed. But was it him? Did he have any control over the actions he committed throughout the show or is he a victim?

He begins begging to be let go. To just escape from this snare he never asked to be trapped in the first place. The audience heavily leans towards letting him live because maybe being alive in this horrible show is better than the execution. But he knows that was never an option for him. He watches as a cartoony figure jokes about his demise and a audience poll decides his fate. And in that moment he realizes his choices were never his own.

So he gives up.

Begs to just be put down because being part of the cast means he will hurt more and more people the way he’s been hurt. That he will be the cause of more and more pain, and very likely more murderers.

And the audience decides death is the best route for him to take.

Maybe he died believing this is his fault. That the audience decided he should be dead for the horrific things he chose to do. But did he ever really choose?

His story was a tragedy before he could even pick up the pen.

And then there’s Showfall. Once again the ever present voice in our ear. Whispering that we are just the same as he is.

You just chose to murder a man. Is that not any different than him killing the innocent to progress in this game? Showfall now has the audience in the same grip as the man in the guillotine.

Your story as an audience is a tragedy long before you will ever pick up the pen.

tbh, it never ceases to astound me that there are actual people who are fans, legitimate fans, of Ascended Astarion.

like i'm not even saying this as a funny thing, i'm not even gonna put it any tags or whatever, and it's not like i want to make fun of someone for a preference in a fictional character, that's not what this is about, it's just that.... posts here, and the comment sections on videos of his voicelines, always have at least one person trying to justify his behavior as actually good, or talking about how hot some line or another is, and how much they like this outcome (not because it's fucked up but because it's "passionate" or "sexy" or whatever- this btw is much more prevalent on youtube), and I just... can't grasp how that's a possible thing for people to think unironically. how someone can play through 100+ hours of game, interact with Astarion multiple times, take him through his whole damn personal journey, and still not feel like post-ascension he's just a... a horrible stranger wearing a friend's face.

If you see the fucked up part and go "yeah i'm into that because it's fucked up"? I'm fully in support of you. Absolutely 100% in your corner. Write/imagine/fantasize about nasty fucked up manipulation and shit all you want; I've been known to indulge in worst case scenarios myself. Engaging with unhealthy dynamics with the knowledge that it's unhealthy and exploring that can be good for the soul. But way too many seem to be arguing that "he still loves (the PC)", and that it's possible for that guy and the PC to have a decent, loving relationship on equal footing, while they need to actively dodge all the options even in-game that exist to call him out for being a piece of shit.

because he's. god, ascended he's such a creep. he sets off all the alarm bells in my head, worse than any guy I've ever decided not to let buy me a drink. an obvious manipulator, nakedly abusive, dismissive, clearly a megalomaniac that's going as far as saying the quiet part out loud in the multiple times he can say that he wants to turn the PC into a spawn so they can't leave or defy him, and it's right there on the surface in every single interaction that being with him is not a good idea. The other companions fucking hate his guts and feel sorry for the PC, and even a PC that's head over heels, fully on board with all the bullshit, and is into the whole "gilded cage enslavement" aspect, can complain (and it's implied that they have complained, multiple times) in the epilogue about not having their freedom.

Six months after becoming his spawn, they're still not a full vampire, and we know from that conversation with Aurelia and Leon that one of Cazador's little tactics had been promising his spawn freedom he never intended to give, in order to keep them obedient.

sure, he has some lines that, in a vacuum, are hot. but I'm pretty sure that's all simply Neil Newbon (despite being a very skilled actor who's fully deserving of all the acclaim he's been receiving), being physically unable to inject enough gross sewer-slime into his voice, and not any merit to this weird creep of a character.

this whole thing, I'm gonna be honest, is just... so fucking worrying to me. it like actually worries me how many people can't see something written with the explicit intent to be unsettling, and a guy written openly to be awful and shitty and gross, as such. And it's not like we can fully chalk it up to how emotion in the moment can cloud your judgement, or how manipulators can and do adjust their personalities in accordance to how best to make you stay, he's literally ones and zeroes, and a limited number of lines you can listen to over and over again and dissect if you want.

I'm not even remotely joking, is this how people end up in relationships with genuinely awful people????? because god, it sounds so terrifying that there are actual people who can look at a fictional guy draped in a red flag the size of a tectonic plate, and still only notice that the color brings out his eyes.

(and to reiterate, if the awful is the selling point, I'm fully in support of that. but god, the "I can fix him"/"I know he still loves me" sentiment is just... it makes the back of my neck itch.)

Can I just say that im obsessed with the last line on the divorce fic????

“The house is silent”

Because like ????? This implies that the house was an entity in itself, an entity born from the love between zandik and widow and consequently extends itself towards Theo

And it’s like something you don’t really notice when reading the fic because we’re so focused on the characters that we neglect the house itself

Anyways just like their marriage, the house is no longer as lively and in the end when widow takes Theo with her, the house becomes silent

ahhh I wanna say more but I haven’t eaten so gtg eat bfast

“The house was an entity in itself” “we neglect the house itself” ohhhhhh you are about to get a not at fucking ALL normal reply about that-

So as of late I have become hyperfixated on this one indie game developer Kitty Horrorshow. She creates a lot of psychological horror games/experiences, most notably her haunted cities collections and the game most would know her for, Anatomy. The game, if you haven’t played it or watched a let’s play of it, has you walk all around an abandoned house looking for tapes where the narrator describes the house and breaks down how the different rooms and parts of the house can relate to Anatomy. I fucking love the dissection vs vivisection rant just for the closing line.

“When a house is both hungry and awake, every room becomes a mouth.”

I wanna just like mention for some fucking reason in like my previous Dottore wips, when I had trouble writing him, for some reason reading the transcript of that game just worked? Like I don’t know why the game about a haunted house where the house IS the haunting helped me write about a blue hair with pronouns mad scientist war criminal, but I wasn’t gonna complain. It’s a good game.

Anyways this is just a long way to say that vibe was only like partially intentional. I meant it with the stars for sure, saying how they stare at Dottore in contempt because now they’ve lost their purpose. But you noting how the house has gone silent because Zandik and Widow created it and Theo and Widow’s presence kept it lively? Not intentional, but god I wish it was because like the set up is there. Dottore noticed they were gone because he couldn’t hear breathing. He knew they were gone because of the absence of life. God that would’ve been so fuckin smart. Aughhhh.

Why am I being not normal about a house. Who cares it’s self indulgent for me. I get to sprinkle in my psychological horror references and reminisce about how I wanted to be a horror author when I was little.

there is a thought that has been absolutely MARINATING in my silly little head that i just don't have the energy to actually write so i'm gonna talk about it here bc you actually like,, listen to what i have to say.

Hhh anyway imagine fem!reader being in the yearbook club and being assigned to take pictures of the clubrooms and their members. That's how she meets eddie, and the pictures that she takes of the hellfire club "coincidentally" always come out blurry (when really, reader has a crush on eddie and is just trying to find any excuse to come see him). Eddie ends up inviting reader to join hellfire, and after she joins dustin "accidentally" lets it slip to her that eddie's been referring to her as the "angel of hellfire club".

Jeez this ended up being really long, im sorry - 🌙

The Angel of Hellfire Club (Eddie Munson x fem!Reader) Headcanons

a/n: yeah this got away from me a bit, i'm not gonna lie to you, moon. still, i hope you enjoy, i could maybe do a second part if you so please? xx @anonmoonie

WARNINGS: nothing honestly, a tiiiny allusion to sex but like barely, otherwise some friends-ish-to-lovers :)

- So it starts like your freshman year, you join the yearbook club because you’re really interested in photography and you think it’s a good place to get some experience taking photos. Unfortunately the senior who’s in charge of the photography unit is like super mean and bossy and makes you do all the worst jobs like taking photos of the science dissections and forcing you to go on the wilderness camps and stuff to ‘capture the high school experience’, and it also means you’re stuck having to photograph any old club that wants their photo in the yearbook

- You’d never heard of the Hellfire Club before, they weren’t overly your scene–your parents would flip if they knew the kind of ‘devil worship’ the club did, though you thought they were quite funny

- As much as it seemed like a punishment at the time–paying your dues to be able to take some real photos for the yearbook–it was a blessing in the form of an afternoon of laughs and like 4 wasted rolls of film

- It was the leader of the little club–he was a sophomore at the time–Eddie. He was the one corralling everyone into a big group, when you’d tell everyone to smile nicely, since this was a yearbook photo and all, but something about him just made the rest of the club go wild when you went to take the photo; tongues out, devil horns made out of their hands, weird contortions with their legs

- Eddie watched as you fiddled with the camera every time you’d have to set up for a new photo, your eyebrows furrowed as you messed with the aperture and exposure to get the perfect shot–the camera they gave you in high school was a lot more advanced than the one your parents had gifted you for Christmas in the eighth grade

- He couldn’t deny he thought you were kinda cute, that was why he wanted to tease you, and the rest of the Hellfire Club just went along with whatever Eddie did,,,,

- Eventually you felt like you got a good enough shot, most of the club was smiling into the lens–though the leader still couldn’t help but throw a ‘rock on’ hand gesture into the mix but it would just have to do because your free period was just about over and you still had to photograph three other clubs

- As the group left the gym, you didn’t neglect to notice that the long-haired leader was smirking at you and you swore you heard him say goodbye in the shuffle of all the people, though you were mostly distracted by one of the other members, Jeff, apologising for their antics–they just couldn’t help it sometimes, he said.

- From then on, you noticed the Hellfire Club and their leader a lot more–you noticed where they sat at lunch, you noticed when they’d creep off to the drama room on Fridays to play their little game, and somehow, during changeover periods, you managed to run into that Eddie almost every. single. day.

- Between just saying hi, commenting on the weather, and then offering to carry your books for you to your next class, you couldn’t get away from Eddie Munson. Though he was starting to grow on you

- It was just the fact that he was always there in your peripheral, it became a comfort.

- So when you were told to get some filler shots of all the clubs for the back pages of the yearbook, you knew EXACTLY what club you wanted to shoot first.

- It was a rainy Tuesday morning, the transition between second and third period, when Eddie popped up at the side of your locker like he normally did, asking how your morning was going, when you asked point blank if you could join the Hellfire Club for one meeting to take some candid shots.

- Of course he IMMEDIATELY said yes, told you what day, what time, what room, he asked if you needed anything like lights or something, he could order a pizza or something if you were hungry? He basically hyperventilated on the spot.

- You weren’t doing great yourself, freaking out because of course you realised very quickly what the bubbling in your chest every time he was near meant, but you were just a freshman yearbook nerd

- You decided the best way to go about it was being professional, you were a photographer, and he was your subject, and that was it–you had to take it seriously or else you’d be stuck just developing photos for the next three years and you’d never get to take another photo for the yearbook again

- So come Friday afternoon, you stayed with the club for about an hour, took photos of all their little game pieces and some candids while they were playing, and quickly left, saying you had to get back to the dark room to get developing already

- Eddie was a little hurt, he’d modified the session to make it as crazy as possible, to give you a real look into DnD, but before he knew it, you were out the door

- And then you’d stopped saying hello to him in the halls, and then at the beginning of the next year you took over photographing the music department so there was no more Hellfire Club photo sessions with you

- You almost became like a myth to the Hellfire Club, when Gareth joined, he only heard rumours of you from the rest of the guys, and that was the way it stayed–only with occasional mentions and teasings of Eddie about the ‘Angel of Hellfire’ –a nickname he’d come up with for an NPC who’d reminded him of you, though he’d never got the chance to tell you

- Now MEANWHILE, you’re dealing with monsters and evil shit from the Upside Down (you’re probably friends with Jonathan, let’s say that’s how you got involved) so you’re in with all the kids and friends with them

- So when they all start high school, even though you graduated the year before, you still want to know all the gossip and happenings of Hawkins High

- And when Dustin, Mike and Lucas tell you they’ve joined a DnD club called Hellfire, you first off, choke on whatever you were eating or drinking, and then ask them a million questions about all the old members and who is still there and stuff–you know Eddie is a super duper Senior so of course he’s still there but you want to hear it (because you still can’t help the butterflies in your stomach when you think of him,,,,call it puppy love or whatever but something about those big brown eyes has a hold on you that years of interdimensional monsters and trauma can’t get rid of)

- Of course, its Dustin who puts two and two together and realises that the elusive Angel of Hellfire (who he knew liked photography and was part of the yearbook committee) was you, he had to do something

- So he makes a plan early in the year–he tells Eddie he needs help with his character sheet for their next campaign, so could Eddie help him figure it out in the drama room after school that day, Eddie begrudgingly says yes–he just had to help out one of his little sheepies

- And he tells you, he thinks something weird is going on in the drama room–something Upside Down weird–and he needs help investigating after school, so you drop everything at your job at the Hawkins Post and rush as quick as you can to the school

- Eddie was waiting for Dustin–who was like ten minutes late–and was starting to get actually pissed off, he had a deal he had to get to and he didn’t like to look flakey in front of customers

- He basically couldn’t breathe when you rushed into the drama room, out of breath and clutching a baseball bat with nails hammered into the end of it

- You quickly realised the scheming that had taken place, but there was something drawing you to him, you just had to say hello now, it would be rude to just leave

- ‘Uh, hey,’ you said, still trying to catch your breath

‘Hi…’ His eyes looked so soft in the dim lighting of the room, you could see everything reflected in them. ‘Funny seeing you here….’

- It’s suuuuper awkward but you so want to talk to him (you also so want to kiss him but that would be insane, right?)

- It was honestly pitiful how quickly the two of you were on each other, something about the fact that you hadn’t seen each other since you graduated, along with the knowledge that some scheming had taken place, it just felt right.- You didn’t get far in the drama room–it was school, for crying out loud, but you had a free schedule, so it didn’t take much convincing for you to head back to Eddie’s trailer after the deal he had to make, and lets say,,,,you weren’t an angel that night (lmao i’m sorry that last line made me laugh too much not to include it)

Hiii I noticed u have great taste in fics.. so i’m gonna ask if you can recommend a few hsr & genshin fanfic writers?? Pls & ty 🙏🏼

oh man,, this is such a great question. i’m touched you decided to come to me!! i’ll go ahead and list some writers and the fics that came to mind first (most of them are angsty, i apologize, but those are what usually stick w/ me 😭😭)

dulcesiabits — my all time favorite fic in general is still your shadow under the illusory moon + part two. also dissection of a liar, which i read and went hunting for again because i forgot it was a fanfic and mistakenly remembered it as part of his canon character stories. i was Really Confused. i looked through the wiki and game for a really long time. anyway, dulcesiabits herself also has a bunch of fics for other fandoms (including hsr) + other genshin characters, and everything i’ve read from her has been absolutely heart-wrenching and world view altering (positive)

perpetualcynicsm — The Writer Ever for everyone who likes long fics and wants to get invested (their current wip is over 130k words). their work is absolutely amazing and clearly has so so much effort and passion put into it. i’m not even that big of a fan of xiao but they got me to read about him anyway. i still haven’t gotten to to dance amidst a sea of flowers but i WILL. terribly underrated as a whole

thenyxsky — not sure what else to say except for when reading awaken i died just like heizou did. it had me on the edge of my seat and then left me feeling like a part of me was left in the page. it was so so good and AGAIN incredibly underrated

ruershrimo — one of my favorites was hair, which remains one of my favorite lyney drabbles in general to this day,, such good characterization and so poetic. super super underrated for the third time and also a really sweet person in general

noraszoo — ohhh my god i found their blog through one of my mutuals recently. their writing is so sweet and descriptive and their dialogue!! particularly loved keep my blankets warm and my name in your mouth

m1d-45 — i’m not the biggest fan of sagau usually, but their work introduced me to a flavor of it i actually liked and changed my mind. my favorites i can remember reading were wandering and (what about me?)

aeroblossom — their writing and theories and the little things they notice in the game are all so good. a symptom of something wrong and a curse-bearer in particular. so vivid and compelling, really feels like you’re there, watching someone go through everything in real time or even going through it yourself. once again, so awfully underrated. criminally, even, for how much of an emotionally reaction these gave me. god

thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch — i love her dialogue and the way she breathes life into scenes and characters that are typically overlooked or gotten awfully wrong. i loovveddd changsheng’s favorite, and tolerance.. oh man. one of the only fics i’ve ever read where blade actually feels and acts like blade.

i have plenty more, especially including my mutuals, but i didn’t want this to get too long so i just put in the ones that i vividly remember left me with a gaping hole in my chest where my heart had previously been (positive). the ones that gave me a visceral reaction and changed the way i see the world (also positive). i’m sure there were more that also did that to me but it is 4 am and i want to post this now 😭😭 if you do want an exhaustive list all the writers i could recommend, feel free to send another ask! i could talk ab them all day and all night so please don’t be afraid, i’m sure i’ll have more to recommend every week

it's time for mari's random infodump:

i was originally going to make this a very long post about my yumes but anai's character as a whole is too confusing and honestly, not even game theory could dissect the amount of lore anai has:

scrapped ideas and an ungodly amount of anai lore from multiple different franchises:

-anai was actually supposed to be shipped with malleus (because i liked him at the time) but due to the age gap, i scrapped it (i didnt like how mal was 600+ and anai was 17) -they were then shipped w riddle for quite some time and i even ended up making ship art of them. -anai was based of the white rabbit but i didnt wanna whitewash (is that the right term) them so i just made them random ass rabbit -their overblot form was a whole withered bonnie mech suit mixed w some BATIM-style aesthetic -anai's dorm uniform was based of this:

now, moving on to enstars anai :>

-from memory, anai was originally shipped with kohaku and they were the producer for crazy:b -i sort of followed some kind of rich prince x pheasant sort of trope for their ship -anai's family wasn't as rich as kohaku's family and (from memory) his family prevented him from hanging out with anai. -i forgot most of the story but all i remember is trying to make some kind of ai cover for anai and kohaku to sing Just Be Friends (it never worked) and that at some point, Tsukasa was actually gonna be anai's love interest

FUCK IT, GENSHIN ANAI LORE:

-genshin anai was made all the way back in 2021 during my horrendous xiao era. -they were the pyro yaksha basically and from memory, they were rebirthed? idk -WAIT, I REMEMBER -ok so bear with me here, anai was basically this young girl from natlan who died in the archon war while trying to see their father again (who was in liyue). from memory, zhongli used ANAI'S DEAD BODY to try and sort of bring back to life the dead pyro yaksha but failed to do so because of 1. the body's horrendous state and 2. the power was too much for the body to handle. -they were obviously shipped with xiao -BUT THIS WAS SCRAPPED AND LATER REUSED (we'll get to that) -i remember anai got shipped with albedo as well as kaeya but i eventually settled for scara. -now back to the dead body part -this version of anai's story is much more messier -anai was a descendant of murata - the pyro archon. it was never specified if they were a direct descendant or just had some muratan?? blood in them. -anyways they were basically this very famous dancer who was prett well known (who was a half human half hybrid rabbit faunus or smth) and their name wasnt anai, it was clover. -basically clovers sister was jealous of their success and they killed clover. -murata literally did the same thing that zhongli did to anai in their earlier stories but she tried to bring back the dead pyro archon -it somehow worked -i honestly dont know how anai met scaramouche but basically they met him when he was still known as kabukimono/kunikuzushi (keep in mind, all of this was written before 3.1) -i basically ripped off dirty little traitor for some reason 💀 -after scara ran away w the gnosis and whatnot anai lore kinda just became messier from there -after the events of 3.1 i redid the whole ending for anai -THEY WERE SHIIPED WITH CYNO CUZ SCARA PUSHED THEM OFF HIS TRANSFORMERS ROBOT OR SOMETHING -no more genshin anai lore because its hurting my head just trying to remember how badly i fucked up their lore -LIKE THEIR LORE IS SO BAD NOT EVEN MATPAT COULD SOLVE THIS GAME THEORY

im literally getting so tired of explaining every single little tiny detail of what happened to anai in every single canon universe i threw them in so lemme spare you some details and whatnot

obey me anai: asmo's boyfriend (im not even joking thats all i remember of obey me anai)

prsk anai: they werent an official niigo member but they did help out w lyrics (cuz mafuyu was their sister omg wow !!), shipped with toya

milgram anai: they were basically hanging out w the wrong group of people due to how naive they were when they were younger, anai was 'forced' to blow up a city mall as a dare but they backed down last minute (their friends ended up detonating the bomb and at good portion of the mall was blown up and quite a number of people died, they were framed for that incident and was sent to the milgram prison, they were shipped w fuuta and from memory they were related to es

hypmic anai: spoiled daddy's girl. basically all them stereotypical mean girls who'd be like "my daddy can sue you" and whatnot. they had a good amount of backstory but theres no way im typing that all out. they were shipped with doppo

IVE HAD ENOUGH OF TALKING ABOUT ANAI AND IM SORRY FOR WASTING YOUR TIME, GOODBYE

Gonna turn your own questions on you again: 3, 11, 19, 20

once again I’m like ough these are not easy answers 😂 who wrote these 🤡

3. What’s Shepard’s love language? What love languages do they respond best to?

starting w stellan bc theyre a little easier. their love languages are acts of service and physical affection. responds best to physical affection, gift giving and words of affirmation (maybe shiala discovers a praise kink MAYBE)

mercy’s truest love language is gossip. dish the drama, girl. (and bizarrely? adores smalltalk). communicates through acts of service, but quality time primarily. is also a gift giver, definitely the type that goes “I picked this up because it made me think of you”. responds best to the same, honestly. doesn’t realize really but very affected by acts of service. bring something right before they’re anticipating it? If you are explicitly clear in your communication (do you include maps, receipts and diagrams?) they’ll fall a bit in love with you. craves quality time

11. What does Shepard think of TIM?

haha ha ha stellan Does Not Like tim, and has never learned how to disguise an emotion (outside a kepesh-yakshi board) finds themself being unusually pigheaded, resistant, and suspicious. bickers every move with tim til he hangs up, frustration overwhelming any attempts at articulation, only for stellan to hack through and continuing to dissect him verbally. he totally starts shouting, completely out of character. stellan is gleeful about it, but also angry about how angry they are

mercy has this curious habit where they can be friends with someone they don’t like. it’s easy, for them, to be friendly with (and liking!) someone they don’t trust. they can find something interesting to admire in everybody. i think maybe only aria understands. so mercy sort of loathes everything about tim, but is just like who are you. why are you like this. i have nothing better to do, let’s get coffee. sure, i’ll have a cigarette. can appreciate how’d he’d got all those fingers in so many pies and also hate how he’s choosing to spend funds and disagree with his priorities. is entertained by his jabs and pointed comments, and aims even lower. goes “this bitch” when they see tim’s caller id before picking up and having an hour long conversation (tim is definitely baffled by mercy. (honestly was expecting them to react more like stellan) mercy doesn’t hesitate shooting him in the kneecaps at the citadel before making him explain himself while sitting on the ground) they’ve never felt betrayed by him simply because they’ve never trusted him

19. What was Shepard’s first interaction with an alien?

i really haven’t thought about it til now. both of em spent their childhood with humans—stellan in the commune in mindoir, and mercy in and out of the streets and foster homes on earth

stellan’s out going to tons of kepesh-yakshi tournaments as a kid, (and watched tons of vids of legendary games) so they are familiar with aliens before actually having a face to face interaction. i think the first alien is a turian kid that they blast away at a tournament.

for mercy… I think their first alien interaction is as a teenager. in new orleans on a job w kasumi. watching the mark, and sees they have an asari commando bodyguard

20. List five songs your Shepard is currently listening to

stellan is a big fan of anything that gets them up and dancing. loves synths wholeheartedly. fuckin owns at the karaoke bar

sussudio, phil collins

pamela, toto

walking in memphis, cher

nothing’s gonna stop us now, starship

i wanna dance with somebody, whitney

(+1, wild montana skies, john denver + emmylou harris, because i feel like this is Them)

mercy listens to everything out there, and preferences depend on mood. here’s a little sample of the playlist mercy is working their way down w edi on those nights sleep eludes them. they’re on the “epics and power ballads” part of her musical education

voodoo child, jimi hendrix

baba o’riley, the who

i heard it through the grapevine, ccr

rime of the ancient mariner, iron maiden

achilles last stand, led zeppelin

(bonus: this kiss, faith hill)

SPARROW MY BESTIE MY BEAUTIFUL BESTIE!!!

im gonna fill your ask box with the sappiest most disgustingly uwu message ever bc ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND IM GONNA THROW MY LOVE AT YOU LIKE ATTICUS' NINJA STARS!!!

seriously, though. you are one of my favorite people EVER. you're one of my best friends. you've done way more for me than you'll ever realize and have shown me nothing but kindness and good will ever since the moment we met. i could not find the words to expreess how thankful i am that you exist and that you're in my life. that you looked at me and pointed and went OH. FREN!! and kept insane little me in your pocket. that we get to dissect our insane little blorbos like frogs and giggle and rubs our little hands as we make them suffer but also that we get to have insanely thoughtful and important and educational conversations, IMPORTANT conversations. im never afraid to speak my mind whenever i talk about something im unsure about and im never ever drained from hanging out with you. thats pretty fucking special, sparrow. just like you.

i hope your birthday is the absolute BEST with everything and everyone you love, laughing and getting cuddles and cake and all the cute things and i hope this year is another one for fun and new adventures! oh and here's to more playing games together. here's to our friendship.

okay im getting awkward now i love you here's a deeply inspired keysmash that expresses how much i cherish you as a human and as a friend: NSJDDKFKDKWLDKCKDNWNFFIEKFJRKDKcfmdmckslkcfmcmfjwirikfmdlaldoxajNjJjsskxkdkdkckck

@villainsnest SOFIA MY BESTIE MOST BELOVED HELLO 🥹🥹🥰🥰💖💖 THIS IS THE BEST MESSAGE OF MY LIFE AND I AM WARM AND FUZZY ABOUT IT FOREVERMORE THANK YOU VERY MUCH I LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS

you are ALSO one of my favourite people EVER and I am forever grateful to have met you. I can’t remember what life was like before you were part of it because you’re such an important presence and you make me happy every single day. I LOVE that we can be insane together and just as easily flip the switch and talk freely about important and difficult subjects. I’m so glad that you feel safe to speak your mind around me and I’m grateful that I can say the same towards you. I just love talking to you no matter what we’re talking about. You energize me just by being you and that’s such a rare, beautiful thing to find someone who has that effect on me. You’re absolutely amazing to know and I’m so happy that I get to call you one of my best friends. ❤️

My birthday has been nothing but wonderful so far and this message makes it all the more so! This year is going to be a good one, I think. I’m going to make it so! We have so much to look forward to and I’m so excited to play more games with you and talk about media (hopefully this will be the year we get to lose our minds over TWST anime FINGERS CROSSED) and just enjoy another beautiful year of friendship. Life is gonna be good no matter what because you’re apart of it. 💕

JDKAJGKDSJKGDJKGJKD I LOVE THIS DEEPLY INSPIRED KEYSMASH. KEYSMASHING IS A WHOLE LOVE LANGUAGE AND I FEEL THAT ONE IN MY SOUL. THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING, BESTIE, AND THANK YOU FOR THIS BIRTHDAY MESSAGE, YOU HAVE ALL MY LOVE FOREVER 💖💖💖

also if youre like mega dedicated to not seeing anything pokemon swsh related until release (beyond the first trailer anyways) probably a good idea to unfollow me rn because i do Try to tag but i fffffucking suck at it

By The Numbers: Part Four

I really love where this story is going.  I tried to have fun with this chapter and I love how it turned out.  There’s something about it that feels so sweet and perfect for me.  I really appreciate everyone who reads and enjoys it.  Of all my fics (I realize there aren’t many yet), this story has felt most true to the type of writing I’d like to read in a modern romance.  Anyway, I really hope you enjoy.  

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Chris Evans / Reader (Y/N)

Summary: After a night of “football” with the guys, you imbibe a little more than intended.

Word Count:  2,659

Contains: drunkenness, fluff, sweetness, protective vibes

Tag List: @Bit-of-a-timelord, @thatoneperson5000, @Kp0807, @Katiew1973, @patzammit, @stillthatbetch, @rootcrop, @browneyedgirl365, @petersunderoos96, @earth-to-isabel, @buendiabebeta, @marvelsmysterywoman @jesgisborne, @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 , @hisgirlfriday439, @tanyaherondale, @thummbelina

... The Seventeenth Time (You)... 

“OK well we’re gonna need to fix that” he says confidently.  

“You don’t seem to understand.  I haven’t watched a Pats game BY CHOICE.  No fixing required.  Things are running as designed,” you say a bit patronizingly.  

“Ok listen, you’ve lived in here how long?” he asks.  

“Almost 2 years.” 

“Yeah, ok, you gotta watch at least one game.  As a right of Massachusetts passage.  Even just at a bar for Christ’s sake!” he pleads.  

“I think you’re misunderstanding how little I care about football.  I grew up in Chicago and I don’t watch the Bears.  That should be evidence enough.” you say flatly.  

“But it’s not only about the game,” he explains, “it’s the whole experience.  The fans, the energy, the excitement.” Man, he was cute when we got excited.  Even if it was about football. 

You stare at him blankly.  

“Ok listen, me and some friends are catching the game tonight at Whistling Maple on Charles Road.  Come for a quarter.  If you have no fun, you can head home.  But you GOTTA catch a Pats game at least once,” he says earnestly.  

Did an evening spent with Chris when you weren’t wearing an apron and serving coffee to people sound enticing?  Yes.  Were you already head over heels for this entirely unattainable man with fear of falling further every moment you spent with him?  YES.  YES THAT’S THE PROBLEM.  You spent your entire adolescence and, frankly, most of your young adulthood as the undisputed queen of unrequited love-- predictably pining after boys or men who liked you but not like that.  You were destined to document every morsel of interaction you had in your journal, dissecting them for meaning that amounted to nothing.  Must you repeat the pattern as an adult?  

But. 

Maaayybbbeee you could enjoy yourself with the very clear internal expectation that this was an evening about football in the company of a handsome man and nothing more.  Man loves football.  Man does not love Y/N.  Journal not needed.  

“Well....” you began as a smile crept over his face, “fiiiiinnnnneeee.  One quarter,” you say with authority.  

“I knew I’d wear you down,” he says with a wink. “Here’s my number in case you have trouble finding the place,” as he slides over the digits scribbled on a napkin.  “See you there!”

And with that he left, leaving you in awe that you managed to hold Chris Evan’s phone number in your hands.  

~~~

Several hours, many dozens of coffee served and one quick spruce up in the the bathroom and you’re on your way to the Whistling Maple.  The evening at the cafe was busier than you expected and you hadn’t even had time to grab a bite to eat or change your clothes.  You told yourself that was ok because THIS WASN’T ANYTHING ROMANTIC but the rush left you feeling frazzled.  After pulling up to the bar, you do a final check in the rear view mirror and take three deep breaths.  You take out your phone and send a text.

A minute later you see Chris bound out of the bar and break into a light jog toward your car.  A smile filled his face as he grabbed your car door to open it the rest of the way as you stepped out.  

“Curbside service!  How chic!” you exclaim. 

“Only the best for a night of Pats football,” he says with a flourish and a bow.  He leads you inside to a table of raucous men, all of whom who seem quite large and predictably handsome.  He makes introductions around the table and they all greet you warmly, if not all slightly buzzed from several rounds of beer.  You suddenly feel incredibly.... average.  It’s a familiar feeling, a carryover from high school days feeling inadequate in the presence of cute boys, but it takes you by surprise.  You’d dedicated a lot (A LOT) of energy and time to healing the parts of you that felt unworthy and considered yourself pretty well healed but sometimes the old wounds opened and caught you by surprise.  You shake it out of your head and decide a beer will help loosen you up.  

And maybe one more. 

And is this a third beer?  Who gave this to you? 

Uh oh maybe a fourth.  You should have had dinner. 

Wait were you on four or five?  So nice of everyone to keep handing you so many delicious beers!  

Wow beer is so good!!! But is it hot in here? Feels sorta hot in here. Was anybody gonna order appetizers here?  You really should have eaten.   Chris sits across the large, loud table from you.  You had watched a stream of (beautiful, hot, cute, you name it) women approach him all evening and, to his credit, he had kept the interactions brief-- always posing for a picture and turning back to the table.  Woman after woman after woman, clamoring for his attention.  The voice in your head was numb from the beer but not gone for good.  This man could have any woman he wanted.  Logically, you already knew this.  But in practice, you felt dumb witnessing it-- almost an affirmation of your cosmic incapability. 

He catches your eye and mouthes the words “you good?” paired with a pointed finger and a thumbs up in question.  Five beers deep, you respond in kind with a double thumbs up like Arthur Fonzarelli himself.  Chris squints his eyes and gives you a sideways glance before stopping a nearby server and asking for a glass of water for you.  When the water arrives, you gulp it greedily and mouth back “Thank you.”  

After a few minutes, you rise to go to the bathroom and feel Chris’s eyes watch you on the way.  Walk like a normal person, you think to yourself.  You give him another double thumbs up, for some reason. Upon entering the bathroom, the noise from the bar lowering to a muffled hum, you become acutely aware of your intoxication level.  It feels like a sensory deprivation tank where only your swimming head and unsteady legs come to your awareness.  There should be a long German word for “surprised by your own drunkenness alone in a bathroom.”

“Ok, get it together Y/N.” you say unsteadily to yourself in the mirror, your words coming out a bit more slowly than you’d hoped.  You apply some lipgloss and fix your hair.  You take a deep inhalation and stand straight, willing yourself into sobriety unsuccessfully.  You take a step out of the bathroom and careen directly into Chris’s broad chest. 

“Whoa!” he says, steadying you by your shoulders. “Wanted to make sure you’re good, I ordered you some wings.”

“All good in the neighborhood,” you say, this time resisting another thumbs up.  

Stifling a laugh, Chris says “Out of curiosity, how many rounds did the guys get you?” 

“A perfect amount,” you say with a broad smile. “Do you want another thumbs up?” you ask. 

“I’ll take as many as I can get,” he says. You give him another thumbs up as he guides you through the crowded bar, hand on the small of your back.  He pulls out your stool and takes you by the elbow to help you climb atop it.  The wings are already at the table and you mutter “come to mama” just as you dive in.  You feel 2% more sober after the plate of wings but it’s short-lived after a shot of tequila is placed in front of you. 

“Jesus guys, come on.  Take it easy,” you hear Chris shout from across the table.  The guys on either side of you pat a hearty hand on your back and say “She can hold her own, can’t you Y/N?”  You actually cannot hold your own.  Never have and never will.  When you’re sober, you know this.  But you are not sober and instead respond with “Yeah, cool it Old Man Evans!” and take the shot, the liquid burning a path down your throat. 

The rest of the evening moves quickly. Or slowly.  It’s either very late or a normal time.   Everything seems very funny.  You love everyone so much.  This is the best night of your life. 

“Did you bring a purse?” you hear Chris ask you. 

“Huh?” you shout over the noise.  

He leans low, close to your ear, hand again on the small of your back, “Did you bring a purse?” he repeats.  

“Yup,” you say. “Why? You need some lipgloss?” you ask and laugh uproariously at your joke.  Chris stares on in amusement and lets you finish.  “But it’s not time to go,” you say pleadingly.  

“Oh yes, I think it’s time to go” he says with a reassuring nod.  You see him locate your purse and he instructs you to find your keys.  You find the keys and hand them over like a sullen teenager.  Chris places your jacket on your shoulders as you say your goodbyes to the men you assume are your new best friends.  Chris directs your through the bar by your shoulders from behind. 

The frigid air smacks you in the face, almost making you gulp for your breath.  The calm quiet night is a stark contrast to the ringing in your ears and your swimming head. 

“I don’t think I can drive,” you say somberly, an absurd admission given your current state.

“That’s why I’ve got your keys doll,” he says and throws a hefty arm over your shoulder, partly to keep you steady. “You think you can give me directions to your place?” he asks with amusement. 

“Let’s find out, my dude,” you say.  He opens the passenger door and you sit.  You fumble with the seat belt and he reaches across to secure it in place.  He sits in the driver side and adjusts the seat to his height. 

“Let’s get you a little fresh air,” he says as he rolls down your window.  

“My sweet Christopher, ever the gentleman,” you say with a put upon British accent. 

...... (Chris) .....

Chris makes a mental note to give his friends hell for over-serving you, despite the result being delightful comedic relief all night.  He glances over to see you’ve adjusted your chair to completely horizontal, as you’ve started talking at length about The Muppets.  The best Muppet (Janice), the worst Muppet (there are no bad Muppets) and the most underrated Muppet (also Janice).  He occasionally peppers you with questions to keep you awake as you navigate him to your apartment. 

“Ok, it’s here on the left,” you say. 

“This is a McDonalds,” says Chris flatly.  

“Nuggets pplleeaassseeeee” you say with your hands in prayer position.  A ten-piece nugget and large coke later and Chris is pulling into your parking spot at your apartment complex.  He opens your car door as your disgracefully hoist yourself out of the passenger side and walk towards the building.

“If it’s ok with you, I’m gonna make sure you get in ok?” he says to you.  

“Ok but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” you reply. 

“Warn me about what?” he asks with confusion. 

“I don’t know, felt like a cool thing to say,” you mutter as you jam your fingers into the button for floor 4 in the elevator.  With your keys still in his possession, you navigate him to your door and he unlocks it.  Stepping into your apartment, he’s immediately hit with a soft, fresh apple scent.  He notes the tidiness but more than anything, he notices its life. There’s color and comfort and personality.  It’s peppered with knickknacks that seem to have purpose-- keepsakes and collections dotted about to equal a whole.  It feels curated with care.  When he imagined your home he couldn’t have imagined exactly this.  But standing in it now, it’s exactly right.  It’s Y/N. 

He catches you marching determinedly towards what he assumes is your bedroom, still clad in your coat and shoes.  By the time he rounds the corner you’re already face-down in the bed, eyes closed and half asleep.  

“Hey hey, take your coat and shoes off,” he says giving your shoulder a little shake. 

“Ok,” you murmur, still not moving a muscle. 

“Come on, come on-- then you can sleep,” he says encouraging you.  

You half-heartedly kick off one shoe and stop.  He walks to the foot of the bed and pulls off the other shoe for you and places them side by side in the hallway.  He carefully takes the cuff of your coat-sleeve and tugs it off one arm and then does the same to other, each arm falling with a thud back onto the bed.  He leaves the bedroom to find a spare blanket to cover you since you’re already deadweight on top of your comforter.  

“Ok come on, just a scooch,” he says as he takes you under the armpits and encourages you to slide your head to the pillows on the bed.  He places the spare blanket on top of you and leaves two Advil and a glass of water on your bedside table for good measure.  He plugs your phone into the charger and, it kills him to do this, sets an alarm for 5:30am.  He knew you may have opening duties at the shop in the morning.  

“Hey, I’m heading home.  I’ll lock up on the way out,” he attempts to tell you but you’re nearly comatose in bed. 

~~~ 

....... The Eighteenth Time (You)......

The absolute last thing you needed on this planet was for Chris to walk through that door.  You had already made a damn fool of yourself last night and now he’ll be treated to Hungover Y/N, arguably the least attractive version you have to offer.  But you accept the inevitable and continue to gulp the enormous iced coffee you prepared for yourself to survive the day. 

Now was not the time to be thinking Big Important Thoughts(TM) as you fought a hangover and 5 hours of sleep but you found yourself doing it anyway.  You felt yourself barreling past crush and into full-blown infatuation and your brain was desperately trying to stop it in its tracks.  Please don’t fall in love with a movie star.  Don’t torture yourself this way.  

But a small, minuscule, microscopic part of your heart told you that you weren’t imagining the chemistry.  That it wasn’t only charm and charisma.  That Chris cared about you. You felt it.   

Don’t be ridiculous.  Save yourself the embarrassment.

You sighed and sipped your coffee.  Mercifully, it was a slow morning and the shop was currently empty.  You took the chance to slip on your sunglasses against the harsh indoor lights and slump yourself over the counter, chin in hand.  This is the position Chris finds you in as the bell tinkles on his way in. 

“Oh Y/N” he says with pity. 

“Y/N is dead,” you say without looking up. 

“I come bearing gifts,” he replies as he plops a plastic bag in front of you.  It’s loaded with Gatorade, Advil, Alka Seltzer, Pretzels and gummy snacks.  

“Thank you and I’m sorry.  I’m sure I made an idiot of myself last night,” you say not meeting his eye, fiddling with the handle of the bag. 

“Sorry?” he says with his head cocked to the side. “The guys and I had a blast.  They’re just as hungover as you.  There’s nothing to feel sorry about.” he says directly. “I know my buddies can go hard sometimes, they forget not everyone can keep up on a Monday night.  I should have told them to lay off a bit.”

“Oh my god, no no.  This isn’t their fault,” you rush to correct him.

"Either way, let me make it up to you,” he replies.  “Greasiest burgers on me tonight.  You in?” he asks with a raised eyebrow. 

You give him a double thumbs.  

Your mind is racing and your stomach is doing flips.  Is this a date?

Heaven and Hell: or my experience being a person of color in Disney’s Hyperion Theater

by Cooper Howell

Heaven and Hell: or my experience being a person of color in Disney's Hyperion Theater. #holdingtheateraccountable Im just gonna go ahead and be straight up. This is pretty scary to share. HEAVEN: Once upon a time Liesl Tommy cast me as Prince Hans in Frozen: Live at the Hyperion. And I was gooped. GOOPED. There was nothing in my prior history that gave any indication this was possible. Up until then every role I played had to do with my race. Every. Single. One. And even ones where it didn’t (Shakespeare or classical pieces mostly) I was always made aware that the novelty of me being a poc in that role that gave me the part. So much did I not expect to get this part that when I got the callback I rolled my eyes and didn’t take the actual callback seriously. I mean, there was a zero percent chance that Disney would ever let me play a Prince, especially when the dude in the movie is a ginger. But then I got it. And immediately everything I thought was possible about my career changed. My whole life I’ve never inwardly felt black. I’ve never inwardly felt white. I’ve always felt like I was Cooper, you know, on the inside. But whether it was every single white human in Utah reminding me that I was “the whitest person they ever knew/saw” (which DIDNT mean how white my skin was. It was how white I ACTED) or Mr. Johnson, my 7th grade drama teacher, telling me that he “wanted to put Velcro on the ceiling to see if I’d stick” or Mr. Smith, my high school drama teacher, saying “finally we can do black shows” as soon as I entered high school and then not casting me in roles because of the "optics" of it, or even my best friend in high school Tanner Harmon who called me "blackie", I was always reminded that I was an other. So imagine getting paid good money to put on that $10,000 costume and waltzing out to 4000 people a day to play a really amazing part. A fantastic, evil, complicated, person who sings a killer duet and then grabs the show by the throat with a vicious about-face monologue... and not once was my race ever mentioned cuz it didnt matter. What was being prized was Cooper, my talent, not my skin color that I never asked for. Heaven. Liesl MADE SURE, almost overly sure, that the poc’s in the cast felt equal. The kingdom of Arendelle, after all, is a make believe place. It can be whatever. From having Disney executives come and tell us that they were happy to have us there, to side conversations with John Lasseter, we were made to feel overly welcome playing the parts we were playing. She encouraged us to dive deeper into the script of a cartoon that I didnt really think much of until I was in it. We were encouraged to ask why. We felt seen as talent and not commodities. There were, of course, detractors. Gosh, I remember people at a party of cast members from "Mickey and the Magical Map" another show at Disneyland which features a princess and the frog number and many of those casts mates angrily claiming that “if that black girl Tiana Okoye can play Elsa than I should be able to play Princess Tiana” and then looking at me to confirm that was okay to say, not realizing that a) she’s one of my best friends, b) that I’m in the show with her also playing a role that wasn't created to be a poc, c) how racist that sounded, and d) why there's a difference there and why that wouldn't make sense. On Liesls final night I came up to her and said “I don’t know why you did it but thank you so much for casting ME in this part” to which she replied “you mean why would I cast a handsome, talented person in this role?” And I stuttered something like “well, I mean, I’m black. You know...” to which she tilted her head to her side and said “no. I don’t know why. Tell me why that matters.” And I had no answer. Seeing that I had no answer she smiled. That was the answer. There was no reason. On the spot my outlook about myself changed. Windows into what I thought was possible for me opened. -------------------------------------- HELL: And then Liesl went back to NYC and she was replaced by a man named Roger Castellano as show director. Rogers task, he told us on the first day, was to "change the show". We were not told what needed to be changed or even why, but that changes were on the horizon. You've got to understand: to a full cast of actors who had just spent more than three months dissecting a 60 page Disney script with a Tony nominated director like it was Shakespeare, we were initially emotionally/mentally/spiritually resistant to changes. But then it became clear that the spirit of collaboration was over, and the show changes were to be given without the same care, consideration, and thematic explanation of why they were being made. Everyones initial reaction was to push back, but when people who questioned their notes or their changes started getting days removed their schedule or being replaced entirely by a new actor, the Hyperion theater became a place where no one was allowed to speak out. Injustices were happening left and right and no one felt they could do anything for fear of losing their livelihood. And that's when the Frozen: Live at the Hyperion became a living hell. In my first note session with Roger he pulled me into a room with Domonique Paton, my best friend and incredible costar who played princess Anna in the show I was in. She just so happens to also be black. Almost all of Prince Hans’s scenes in the show are with her character and so most of my notes would be primarily based on those interactions with her. Earlier in the day I performed with a different (white) actress but it was the show with Domonique that I had a note session about. Imagine my surprise and dismay when, with how Liesl set up the show experience, we were told this: “WHEN THE TWO OF YOU PERFORM THE SHOW TOGETHER ITS TOO… URBAN.” Urban. What else could that have meant, do you think? He could have said maybe “too contemporary” emphasizing that we were maybe too modern in our speech patterns or movements. We weren’t. He could have said “too lax” or “too loose” meaning that maybe we were being unprofessional and goofy up there because we’re really good friends. We were not. The best me and Ms. Paton could think of was a 8 count moment of improv dance that me and Domonique decided to use as a synchronized moment of unity. It happened to fall on the line “our mental synchronization can have but one explanation” and thought, with the freedom that Christopher (the original choreographer) had given us, was appropriate, especially considering everyone behind us was doing the robot. As in the 80s robot. But he didnt clarify. He just said “WHEN THE TWO OF YOU PERFORM THE SHOW TOGETHER IT’S TOO… URBAN” And when asked what he meant he smiled with a little shrug and said "you can figure that out. You're smart." And thats how I became Black Hans and Domonique became Black Anna. My every moment onstage afterwards became about the optics of being a poc in that show. It was if I was suddenly made aware that I was LUCKY enough to be there and under any normal circumstances, or this new directors circumstances, me getting this part would have never happened. But the message was clear. It was especially clear when me and Domonique Paton shows together durastically decreased and made even more clear when the vast majority of the new hires were not people of color. But no one said anything. And made even MORE clear when, over the next few weeks, both Domonique and I got COPIOUS notes, ten times that of our coworkers that played the same parts. It was almost a game. In fact we did turn it into a game, seeing who would get the least amount of notes from him in a day. Our costars would even joke about it onstage with us, during the ballroom scene, and jokingly whisper "The shows been up 15 minutes. How many do you think you got today?" But no one said anything. And the notes were about all kinds of things. How we held our hand. If our inflections went up or down on a word. Which side of a couch we leaned on… which was fine! When you're an actor, thats the gig... until we started comparing our notes with the actors that played our same parts and none of them, NONE, would get the same notes. Our notes would be outrageously longer, the note sessions sometimes lasting 10/15 minutes. Others would get the “Oh hey, try doing this or that next time, okay bye” walk-by notes. Sometimes I would sneak into the audience and watch as some of the other Han's, some of whom changed lines, changed entire intentions of scenes, some of whom adding in all types of vocalizations and cackles and dance moves and what have you, and would receive ZERO notes. But I was watching them to see what was wrong with me. What was my performance missing? What am I actually doing to feel this singled out. And then I realized that the thing that was wrong with me was that I was a different color than the 5 other white Hans's they cast. And then I started getting notes about my penis. Most of the time these “penis sessions”, as I called them, were given in private rooms without another stage manager present. It was incredibly unpleasant and unprofessional. In fairness, those Prince Hans pants are TIGHT! And yes, Mr. Howell is indeed a party in the front and a party in the back, but so were a lot of those fellas. And thats where I put my foot down. If Disney was going to provide me with a costume it is not my responsibility to fix their problem, especially when other of my (white) costars had been given a dance belt for the same thing. But they never got penis notes. Private session notes about what their penis looked like in that show. Over and over again I was told to fix it, to not make it (my dick) so apparent, and that “if my daughter were younger I wouldn’t want her to come to a show you were performing at" all the more insulting considering his daughter, a cast member in the show, was a friend of mine and the loveliest person. He started demanding that I buy a dance belt. It was “my fault”, “my responsibility” …and thats where I took my stand. And then it really became hell. Penis sessions were now done out in the open. Once, he screamed at me, in the green room in front of all of my costars during lunch, about how incredible unprofessional I was, about how he was tired of seeing my dick, and that if I didnt go buy myself one I didnt deserve to be there anymore. Followed by a huge litany of notes. That doesnt compare to some of what Domonique went through and I invite her to share them if she’s willing. During this time I went to every stage manager in the building and told them about being singling out and about my penis. They all told me to write a complaint report and it would go to some place called "HR". Which I did. Numerously. More months passed. Nothing from "HR". Multiple cast members who witnessed my note sessions encouraged me to go to the HR themselves. I didnt honestly know what an HR was. As soon as it was explained to me by my allies even what an HR was I went to the head of HR at Disneyland herself and waited outside of her door. I asked her if she got any of my HR reports and she told me that she had received no HR reports from the Hyperion. Ever. And then asked me to fill out a HR form. As we went over it, she asked me some questions, and then set up a second meeting. On the second meeting she said that in order for my report to be given credence I would need witnesses to give their testimony. The witnesses, in fact the very people that told me to go to HR in the first place, said no. They didnt want to lose their jobs. In retrospect that might be the thing that hurt the most but, whatever... anyway, I was told "“well… without testimonies we’ll do an investigation and we’ll call you when we’ve completed it.” I never received a phone call. With absolutely zero protection from the stage managers from both the sexual harassment or my obvious racial targeting I (and others) were experiencing, not to mention that HR reports were doing nothing, aka not being forwarded, I thought about quitting. And when a white stage manager made a show mistake and laughed it off to the cast by saying an entirely offensive lynching joke, I quit. I didnt matter to Disney. How I felt and what I was being put through didnt matter. I was a commodity. My departure was unceremonious. Bizarre. 100% un-magical. I hung up my costume one last time and it was given to a new Hans, one who looked very much like me oddly, and stepped out of the theater. The park was playing “every wish your heart desires will come to you” and I remember laughing at how dead that song felt. The director has since moved on but still works as a musical theater director in Southern California. This one time 4 years ago I got to feel something other than my color for the first and only time in my professional career. It lasted from about March 2016 to July 2016 and never again since. I will never forget in those early days looking at all the beautiful princesses I got to woo and thinking “wow. I’m a prince right now.” Im sure that sounds stupid. But it didn't feel stupid. And a Disney prince! Yeah, a shitty prince kinda... I mean, he's a sociopath... BUT still a Prince! Especially special was being able to look in Dominique’s eyes and I could see the same glimmer of “can you believe we get to do this right now” reflected back. We never knew it was in the cards for us. My race always has and will always be part of my career equation and a determining factor of its projection. It will always be a determining factor in how im treated, by creatives, by people, by the those in authority over me, including the government and the police. #wasitmyskin

Copied in its entirety here from Cooper Howell’s public Facebook post: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10163696376095054&set=a.10151302685610054&type=3&theater

Finwean descendants as things me and my friends have said at one point or another

(Idk if this has already been done, but here, and its a bit long.)

Celebrimbor: I will either write out the whole of liver compensation mechanism or drown my liver in methanol, there is no middle ground.

Maedhros: He's like, sexy and scary. Sexy when he's in his doctors coat. Scary when he starts talking about post-mortem dissections like he's talking about winning a bag of gold. Whic is also kinda sexy. Also, I may not be as straight as I thought I was.

Aredhel, probs about Galadriel: Her imagined suffering makes my girl-parts tingle. What are you suffering from, bitch, your parents paid for you to spend a month in fucking Tuscany?!

Fëanor: If I figure out a way to intravenously give myself caffeine I will be a God. In fact- *starts muttering calculations*

Turgon: *grabs my chair and turns me around to start examining my neurological reflexes* *ignores me, then mutters* I think you may be dead.

Celegorm: *takes a baseball bat, climbes on a table and breaks a bird in cage chirping thing we bought for laughs* THE FUCKING BIRD WOULDNT SHUT UP SO I SHUT IT UP PERMANENTLY!!

Finrod: I will NOT tell you where I've hidden that abomination of a curtain! You all are peasants and have NO STYLE, IT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS MADE OUT OF VOMITED KIDNEY STONES!

Finarfin: *wakes from an impromptu nap on a textbook* OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO FEED THE FROG! *goes back to sleep* (he has no frog)

Galadriel: Not to be a bitch, but-

Aegnor: Every time you say that, we know you're definitely being a bitch.

Angrod: The BIGGEST bitch, in fact.

Fingon: I will let you put glitter in my hair and beard only if you promise to bring me the biggest bottle of your grandmas homemade shampoo there is, and an even bigger bottle of your grandpas schnapz.

Elrond: So you mean to tell me you're gonna choose? Why? Just bang them both, non-monogamy is a thing. The best thing ever to be honest.

Caranthir: Nope, I'm not playing cards with you assholes anymore. You *points to Curufin* keep cheating, you *points to Maedhros* are drunk, and you *points to Maglor* dont even know the rules of the game!

Curufin: Do you think if I tweak my stethoscope a little I can overhear their strategy through the door?

Idril: And then I told him "I dont need you to have this baby, it's my fucking baby, and I have inheritance, and a LOT of it!"

Maeglin: I am going off to fucking Russia and everything there will be fucking amazing and I will finally be appreciated as I should be! (when he came back after a year, spoilers - it wasn't)

Amras: You know what? Fuck this printer, and fuck all of you *takes the printer and throws it through a window, where it smashes on the ground*

Amrad: Well I aint cleaning that shit, brother. Also, I'm your ride home, and im going in 10 minutes, so chop-chop. *sips coffee*

Fingolfin: Ever since we got the third kid, I legit have no time for pop-culture anymore. The last thing I watched was 5 mintes of Guardians of the Galaxy porn parody, and then the baby started crying and I lost my will to live.

Lalwen: Is that the one you sent me over email?

Anaire: Yup :)

Lalwen: Damn that was good.

Anaire: *whispers* I'm sending you the Captain America one I found tonight. That one's even better.

Findis: Gods I'm just? So pretty?

Nerdanel: Could you please stop looking at yourself in the mirror and hold this fucking pipe so I can fix it before it bursts?

Gil-Galad: As the president of this club-

Celebrimbor: We're a commune.

Galadriel: Also who voted for you? I sure as fuck didn't. I voted for me.

Elrond: I love you, honey, but sit down. We're a democracy.

Celebrian: None of you understand. If I don't go and get drunk tonight, I won't be able to fake an illness tomorrow, and my mother wants me to meet the son of her friends so we can "hang out", and I have the ORL exam on Tuesday, and I dont care how much money that dude has, I'm not dating someone my mother thinks is appropriate! So fucking drink, I didnt bring this gin for you to look at it!

Maglor: You may think you're good at this. You aren't. I, on the other hand, am amazing at this. *deepthroats an icecream* No gag reflex, bitch. OH FUCK, BRAIN FREEZE!

3, 7, and 17 for the MC ask game? :>

+ the ones asked by @bisexualdumbass-world

So my MC is basically just general MC but with a backstory/more specific likes and dislikes

All my fics for unnamed gn! mc × mammon are based off my MC because their personalities are so similar & it's easier to write with a concrete figure in mind [ AO3 ]

If you know me by now, you know it's gonna get long as I explain things, add headcanons and the reasons behind them, add links to theories about the lore/world building/general mc & add links to any fic of mine that's relevant

This became a semi masterpost for all my posts dissecting + discussing general MC × Mammon's relationship & for 14 of my fics :))

Also asks are temporarily open again because I got lonely

And for context (& because I can't draw people):

[picrew link]

My theorised OM! time frame -> 3 years from S1 to S4 & why

1. How does your MC react to being summoned to the Devildom?

In this theory , I said that at some point in history the existence of the other two realms was an open secret to (at least some) humans but with the war, the rebellion & them practically shutting themselves up it became myth & then transformed into religion

Under this theory, a lot more humans would have been raised hearing stories/myths/folklore of the other realms. The interpretation of the realms and their residents may vary between people but the core is the same.

Eliza's mother (like general MC's mother was supposed to be) was a painter & a descendent of Lilith, who despite not being religious was very interested in the stories and so painted scenes from them.

Eliza didn't spend long with their mother (theory)* but the stories featured heavily in what little time they had together so they grew up seeing angels/demons in the same way most people see sentient/intelligent aliens.

aka:

You don't put much thought into it in your daily life, you're completely fine with never seeing one/confirming they're real, if someone asks if you believe in them you shrug & say "who knows" while 75% of you believes they probably aren't real. If confronted with hard evidence of their existence you'd probably be more shocked about seeing them/meeting them than the fact that they're real

+

In OM! at the very beginning it also says that MC signed up for an exchange program I believe? As in they weren't just randomly kidnapped. They were given the opportunity, they signed up and instead of going to where ever in the human world they were supposed to go they ended up in a mythical realm

=

More than being shocked that they were kidnapped by monsters under the bed, they were shocked that the cultural exchange program they signed up for was with aliens

So they adapted to it a lot quicker than they should've though a part of them still believed they were dreaming until they hurt their wrist when Levi tried to kill them

*this is mostly to explain why general MC doesn't seem to have a family, why they're so ready to leave the human world & join the brothers' family, why there's never a mention of more descendents of Lilith which rightfully the brothers would be interested in

Ik there's no mention about others because this is MC's story and they also needed to make MC more customizable for the players but since my MC is general MC I needed a solid reason for it

3. How does your MC feel about Cerberus and Henry?

They adore Henry 2.0 and make a point of asking Levi how he's doing every once in a while (mc asking Levi how Henry 2.0 is doing is actually canon and adorable!!)

They absolutely whipped their phone out to take pictures of both Henry 1.0 & Cerberus while they were being chased/attacked by them.

By this point of the game, as long as they're not sneaking into the labyrinth, Cerberus has come to accept them as just another member of the household and (like general MC) their rotation of chores now includes grooming/walking Cerberus.

They've got a lot of pictures of him taken by their professional camera and they have an entry on him in their "journal"/ the book they're putting together about the animal life of all three worlds

They're still trying to convince Barbatos to let them go to the dungeons in the Demon King's Castle to take pictures of Henry 1.0

4. How would your MC react to the brothers almost killing them and/or hurting them?

They don't even register Mammon's threats and have no problem snapping back at him from the beginning*¹

When Levi & Beel try they're in a dazed numb shock and they remain quiet till (in Levi's case) Mammon brings out the line about 'dying next time they're in trouble instead of letting anyone else save them' and the line itself and the entire situation is so ridiculous that they end up laughing (somewhat hysterically) as everything catches up with them.

In Beel's case they're shocked out of it when Mammon blames them for eating Beel's custard and they immediately start scrambling to defend themself to Lucifer, while also throwing Mammon under the bus.

When Lucifer tries to kill them the first time, they hardly remember any of it but they're silent and contemplative afterwards.*² They try not to dwell on any of the times and they push themself to keep looking forward

Asmo's & Satan's ones put them off the most because they were both the ones who were initially nicest to them without needing to build any deeper friendships/connections. Asmo & Satan's threats were graphic and sounded like promises more than threats. They tiptoed around the two of them after that and found comfort in the pacts because it meant they had a way to defend themself. Satan apologising meant that they relaxed around him quicker than they relaxed around Asmo.

They usually dismissed Lucifer's threats, pretending that if they didn't believe them or sneered back at him/laughed them off, it'll mean Lucifer wasn't serious. Though I did end up writing a whole fic about the time Lucifer hurt their wrist*³

They were angry when Lucifer tried to hurt them the second time. They were betrayed and livid but things happened so fast afterwards it got pushed back and the only resolution they had was when they got to punch him (in the shoulder/arm) after they reunited

They stayed away from Belphie/tried their best to interact with him only when the others were around. In the end their desperate need to reunite the family (because hell they went through this much BS they might as well see it to the end) won out in the end and they interacted with him more than they were comfortable with in order to do so. Remember Gisella who said you never forget the way you die? Their body hurts now - some days (most days) it's barely noticeable but on others they can't even make it outta bed. On these days, even after they're completely comfortable with Belphie and usually have no problem napping with him, they can't even look at him without flinching away.

After nearly getting killed so many times and then actually dying and being brought back to life, what little self preservation they had completely disintegrated. They now have a tendency to make light of all the near death experiences and any future experience as well - as a way to cope? No! They're perfectly fine! :)))))

5. What would be your MC’s favorite class at RAD?

Devildom Zoology & Devildom History

7. What job would your MC like the most?

They technically are a wildlife photographer but are currently without a stable job

Photographer because of all those pictures on Devilgram where the LIs are staring at the camera with heart eyes but the photos itself looks like they were taken by a professional

Wildlife photographer because they need to be patient, cool & calm, adaptable, used to dealing with possibly dangerous animals etc and MC having a job where they need all those traits would explain how they got used to the chaos of the Devildom so easily

10. Where would your MC go to escape it all in the Devildom?

They'll usually take their camera and head out into the woods.

11. How would your MC react to going back to the human realm after spending a year at RAD? Would they try to go back to things being normal?

They try to put on a brave face when leaving, specially because they always knew this was coming but they're absolutely devastated and they feel stupid for it.

They don't have a family (unknown father, dead mother & no relations at all from her side) and have always moved around too much + worked too much to form any deep relationships (both platonic & romantic) and so they've never really found a place or people in the human world where they can come out of their shell/open up more (something that Lucifer notes in S2 is that MC is now more open about their emotions). Despite this they've always being fascinated by families & in the Devildom they felt like they finally found their place so having to leave and not knowing if they'd ever be back was heartbreaking

They tried to get back to normal but the world now seemed duller and they were, ironically, homesick*⁴ & counted the days till their once a week calls.

(Like general MC) They lose weight during their time in the human world.

Despite all the evidence that everything that happened was real there are days when they wonder if it was all a dream and:

I headcanon that Eliza's pact with Mammon is on their right palm for many reasons (the most prominent being that scratching your right palm means you're going to get money) but also:

After leaving the Devildom in S2 they move to a bigger apartment & get a roommate because they start getting luckier with money so they can afford it and after the loud chaos of the HoL they needed to hear someone else moving around their home*⁵

12. What would your MC write their paper on for the exchange program?

It'd mostly be a general paper covering all topics - from culture & food, to the people & RAD (they gloss over a lot of the "nearly dying" parts)

Additionally in their time in the Devildom they start photographing the animals + supernatural creatures they find there and then doing research on them. They get a thick old blank paged tome (the actual book from Satan, but with Solomon's magic so that they never run out of blank pages & so that only they can open it) where they make entries for each animal/creature with the research material they found & attached pictures.

13. How would your MC wear the RAD uniform?

They normally wear a similar uniform to the brothers. They start the day with everything neat & in place and end it with their tie tucked into a pocket, the jacket open, the shirt's first few buttons unbuttoned. When it's cold they'll have a light-material hoodie peeking out from under their shirt. Every once in a while, they'll wear a skirt with black leggings.

16. What sort of magic would your MC want to learn the most?

Summoning magic would obviously take precedence over everything else but (like general mc) they'd be able to easily pickup healing magic and they find it really useful as well

17. Would MC prefer Diavolo’s dances/balls or Asmo’s parties?

They don't have a preference and the answer could change depending on the day because it's fun to dress up for Diavolo's dances & to hang out with everyone else but they can be overly stuffy depending on who's there.

Asmo's parties are always fun but the later you stay the hornier they get and that can become uncomfortable

18. What is your MC’s relationship like with the brothers?

To make the story fit more with my characterizations, I work under the assumption that not all the characters are in love with Eliza. All of them have somewhat of a passing curiosity (you know when you suddenly see someone you've never liked in a romantic or sexual context do or say something and you suddenly get a flash of desire and wanting that's gone as quickly as it came? Eg: me at the tall dude sitting in the middle of the class and nodding along with my presentation while everyone else was focused on preparing for their own presentations. Nearly dropped down on one knee and pulled out a ring at that moment) - but that's it. None of the side characters have an actual crush on them (except Thirteen eventually). All the brothers had a small crush on them at one point or another but once they realise Eliza doesn't return their feelings it settles into the background - still present but not important (you know when you get a major crush on some person but nothing ever happens and now you're completely happy with their friendship but every once in a while your brain lets out a longing what if)

They're initially a bit in awe of Lucifer (a little bit attracted to him even though they'd gun-to-their-head deny it) until they have the "oh he's an asshole" realisation and then they're scared of him but also willing to put that aside to help Belphie because 1. They can't stand to see Beel sad. 2. The brothers clearly all adore each other but they have so many issues that are tearing them apart and Eliza who has always wanted a family is pissed by how they seem to be taking it for granted. 3. Lucifer was a dick and now they want to be petty and openly defy him. Once things get settled and they realise that "oh he's still an asshole but he's also an overworked, overprotective dad with ptsd" they become more open to the idea that Lucifer's not as bad under everything. They still go out their way to annoy him/defy him but when it comes down to it they'll always listen to what he says and follow his orders. They also tease him about the crush he has on them. They have weekly (sometimes daily) private meetings where they drink tea and Lucifer gets to finally open up and complain about everything.*⁶ Whenever he works late they make him coffee (the kind that bets bitter depending on how much the person making it loves the person they're giving it to). Eliza can fluctuate from being the only other adult in the room that Lucifer can depend on to giving him just as much hell as the rest of his brothers. They'd deny it but they preen whenever he's proud of them because more than anything they want him to accept them. Whenever Lucifer simps for Diavolo (which he does in canon) they always side eye him with the most smug look ever. Their entire relationship can be summed up by Eliza punching him (in the shoulder/arm) because he's being emotionally constipated and they were worried about him and then immediately hugging him tightly.

If you've read my Mammon x General MC posts you know exactly what this relationship is like:

Mammon being terrifying

Mammon & MC sharing a room

He canonically does not steal from them

Mc x Mammon & love languages

MC praising Mammon

MC being a simp p1

MC being a simp p2

Mammon being protective p1

Mammon being protective p2

Summary of their relationship throughout the seasons and how it's changed & the parallels that show that growth

MC & Mammon's crows

Being supportive of each other

Mc being possessive

Mammon's Self Esteem when MC is present

Mammon literally being created to be MC's best friend

Mammon vs Solomon

Mammon Vs the new characters

Mammon x mc 🔞

MC hearing about Mammon from the perspective of other demons

Mammon x MC & teasing p1

Mammon x MC & teasing p2

Why Mammon made the pact *⁷

Mammon x MC playlist (specifically "Stand by You - Rachel Platten" for Eliza × Mammon from Eliza's pov & "Family - Mother Mother" for Eliza's thoughts about the brothers)

Mammon & MC's business p1

Mammon & MC's business p2

Mammon being the original morosexual

Mammon x MC being Enemies to friends to lovers

Mammon - consent, apologising & prioritising where MC is concerned

Mammon x MC in S1 & S2

Overall, they're partners in crime/best friends who are stupidly in love with each other

And I think their relationship can be summarised as:

Being dumb best friends who are in love*⁸

MC being protective af P1*⁹

MC being protective af P2*¹⁰

Eliza is very indulgent of Levi and considers him a best friend as well. They're always up to binge watch anime with him, play games, go to cons, cosplay & sing karaoke. They take a heavy interest in whatever he's doing while also gently brushing away the crush he has on them. Though in my version, mostly to avoid hurting Levi, his crush is mostly superficial and becomes a "friendship crush" once they get close (yknow that one friend you have no romantic or sexual interest towards but you're a bit in awe of them & would also totally marry them no questions asked). Levi's the one who introduced Eliza to anime/manga/games and though they don't watch/play them on their own they're always more than happy to stay up the whole night doing so with Levi.

Satan & general MC have the most underrated friendship is2g. I have a half written post about how similar the two of them are which I'll post later and then add the link here but till then trust me, they are very similar - their situations more than their personality (though personality wise there are some similarities as well) and they tend to find comfort in each other because of that. Eliza can always depend on Satan whether it's with help finding research for a certain animal, helping with a spell they're supposed to learn, helping with work at RAD etc. He also feels comfortable about opening up about all his issues to them and he trusts their opinion more than anyone else's (remember in S3 when he looked at them to confirm who he was as a person?). They can also exist in comfortable silence around each other, both doing their own thing. Eliza is also a comfort and stabilising force for him when he's upset (literally just all their main interactions in S3. How they sat together and held hands in silence when he was upset in S3 was absolutely beautiful). They constantly recommend books to each other and have discussions about them.

They have a friendly indifference towards Asmo until he threatens them, makes a pact with them and then starts coming on to them strongly all in the same night and then they become wary of him and make sure to keep their distance. They do soothe things over once Asmo realises Eliza's just genuinely not interested in him and that he has an opportunity to make a friend without anything romantic or sexual involved, just someone who's not at all attracted to him in that way and while it does still annoy him, it also piques his interest. He can trust them to be upfront with him about anything without attraction clouding their judgement so he can actually get an unbiased, objective opinion from them about what actually looks the best on him. He still flirts with them but now it's just to see them fondly roll their eyes. He is a very heavy Mammon × MC shipper and is more than happy to play wingman (P1 & P2). He paints their nails and actually starts Eliza on self care routines and the occasional spa days. He's very clingy with them and once they become proper friends they don't mind having him hang off their arm or cuddle into their side.

They're very protective of Beel because they somehow see him as a little brother despite the fact that he could break them in two using just one hand. The whole reason they agreed to help Belphie was because they saw how upset Beel was about Belphie being gone. They always carry around snacks for him (like general MC) and though they would hate it if any of the others just randomly/spontaneously picked them up and carried them places they don't mind if it's Beel. They have however stolen a number of his t-shirts & jackets because they're huge and comfortable. They're always up for trying a new restaurant with him because, like Beel, they're not fussy about food and will try anything at least once. While they always make sure to buy food/bring him food if Beel texts them & asks, they also hold him accountable when he eats their labelled food. They always go to his matches and he usually manages to drag them to exercise together (MC is canonically able to kick open Levi's locked door and all that strength must come from somewhere). Like general MC; Eliza, Mammon, Levi & Beel hang out and get into trouble frequently & have weekly gaming nights. I can't find the post I made about it (but you can play the locked chapters of Lesson 4 to see what I'm talking about), Beel also "ships" Mammon × MC

Eliza initially doesn't trust Belphie and refuses to help him until they see how upset Beel is and agrees. They form a friendship while Belphie tells them stories about his brothers from inside the attic. After he kills them, they're much more wary of him, to the point that they feel uncomfortable standing close to him - though they push this all aside for the sake of everyone else. Even at the time of making the pact they are uncomfortable around him but making the pact and then hanging out with him & Beel starts soothing over their fears. Though going to the attic at all is painful for them at this point. Belphie isn't oblivious to any of this but tries his hardest not to let it affect him. (I have a fic based on this but it's not complete yet, when I finish it I'll post the link). After they become proper friends, they don't mind napping with him or even being in the attic with him alone, though they're less touchy-feely with him than they are with the others despite loving him as much as them and considering him family. On days that their body hurts a lot they avoid him and he knows how to recognise those days and retreat to the attic to sleep them away. After the pain has gone or reduced to its normal state (which can take 1-3 days) they always make sure to immediately seek him out so that they can nap together. They've also learnt to use him killing them against him. Eg: Belphie: refusing to do something that they really need his help with. Eliza: "Hey, remember that time you killed me :)". Belphie's also one of the brothers with a bigger/more persistent crush on them.

Overall, they're family.

And I have 2 mini fics that explore the relationships between all of them & MC:

MC and physical contact during pact formation*¹¹

Eliza and giving gifts during the brothers' birthdays*¹²

+ 1 fic of them all being a family with Lilith*¹³

19. What is your MC’s relationship like with the side-characters?

Luke is their son adjacent if that makes sense? He's not their son but he's close? Like a little cousin or a nephew. They're very indulgent of him and happily go along with whatever he says. The trips with Mammon & Luke to look for mythical/supernatural creatures becomes a thing.

They're much more quiet/subdued with Simeon than they're with any of the others because they hold the same sort of respect for him that is usually reserved for your grandfather. If Simeon liked Eliza romantically (which he doesn't in my version) he'd be grandfather-zoned and I think it doesn't get any worse than that

They're the least close with Barbatos and are somewhat intimidated by him and so are much more reserved when interacting one on one with him. They do taste test human (& Devildom) teas for him pretty frequently though (like general mc)

So canonically MC is probably the first person to see Diavolo instead of Lord Diavolo and yeah. Lucifer & Barbatos are still obviously Diavolo's closest friends but Eliza becomes his go to for more emotional problems/rants. He's going to gush about the exact colour of Lucifer's eyes for 57 minutes and Eliza is going to think "damn maybe there are perks to being homophobic :/" but they're going to (painfully) listen till he's run out of steam, because who else can he tell any of this to? And then they're going to suggest he actually tell Lucifer that he has beautiful eyes because if they get together hopefully this will stop (if they get together it will only get worse). Diavolo does tell Lucifer, but it completely flies over his head because he's oblivious like that and "haha it's just Diavolo being Diavolo". Eliza considers throttling him. Diavolo can also trust them to be painfully blunt and give their honest opinion when he makes suggestions about any new ideas/parties.

They have a lot of respect for Solomon but they also think he's batshit crazy so while they're willing to help him out whenever, they're always wary about what exactly that will entail. They do work very hard though because, while naturally being hardworker, they also want to live up to his (non-existent) expectations (seriously mc could breathe and solomon would be proud). He's also their go to when they want to complain about the brothers (as much as they love them). Because they're so curious (nosy) they do get frustrated by how much they still don't know about Solomon and how he evades the questions when they just straight up ask him.

Bonus:

They completely indulge Number 2 in his need to terrorise Mammon and happily play the part of Number 2's other parent*¹⁴ despite knowing that this is a full grown man who's much older than them. That being said they're not above threatening him with bodily harm when he pushes them right to the edge (which is true for all their relationships with the brothers and which is true for general MC as well)

Remember these seven little assholes? Eliza absolutely considers them their weird ass adopted kids. (Valago & MC) (what I think they look like with the help of the above picrew)

20. What is your MC’s relationship like with Raphael, Mephistopheles, and Thirteen?

Raphael starts his intro by more or less telling MC that they've heard bad things about each other and this holds true for Eliza as well. After everything they've gone through in the last 3 years, Eliza is somewhat protective of the brothers so their guard is up around Raphael. They have no real reason to pick a fight with him but they also tend to go out of their way to antagonise/tease him. Despite this they really are trying their best to be more civil because Lucifer asked them to + they want to mend the bridges between the three worlds as fast as possible. Despite their reluctance, because of how adaptable they (and general mc) are, they end up working fairly well with him

Eliza can be oblivious (and I think it's hilarious) so it takes them a while to realise who Thirteen is. As in when Thirteen accuses them of breaking into her house they're genuinely like ??????????? They go with the flow when Thirteen's pissed at them but they are genuinely confused about who exactly Thirteen is and why she's upset until some time later. They're also curious about her and her way of talking sometimes reminds them of Mammon. Thirteen's own extremely fiery personality makes Eliza take on the role of calming her down, even if that means drawing the attention towards themself. When Thirteen eventually gets a crush on them it's going to take them the longest time to realise it/believe what the others are telling them. Unfortunately for Thirteen (and me cause: Thirteen🥺❤) they get a lot of "little sister" vibes from her and treat her accordingly (did I somewhat unconsciously decide this to stop myself from jumping ship to Thirteen despite leaving Mammon being clearly against Eliza's personality? Maybe.)

Up to this point they're mostly indifferent towards Mephisto or at most annoyed that after everything he still wants to oppose their place in the Devildom. Also no matter how much fun they have with getting on Lucifer's nerves they're protective of him when someone outside of the family & their close friends do so. After getting to know him better they become his go to place when he wants to rant about something and they willingly listen even if they occasionally (somewhat fondly) roll their eyes and wonder how they ended up here.

**Despite being everyone's therapist + problem solver, Eliza tends to keep their own worries, problems, doubts, anxieties & hurt to themself until someone notices and forces it out of them and this is probably because they've been independent/self-sufficient almost their entire life. (This is something general MC also does either on purpose or accidentally as seen in the "snowed in" event)**

*¹ Perspectives (unnamed gn! mc × mammon)

Lucifer watches as years pass and everything changes.

*² Hook, Line and- (unnamed gn! mc × mammon)

Five times Mammon used a bad pick-up line to try stealing the exchange student's wallet and three times he didn't.

*³ Warm Nooks and Such Things (unnamed gn!mc × mammon)

They were hurt.

They were lonely.

They were tired.

What they wanted, what they truly wanted, was a nap. Obviously they hadn't taken a certain demon into consideration.

*⁴ Interlude (unnamed gn! mc × mammon)

They try to suppress it. The ever looming shadow of their homesickness. His presence helps.

Also there's a spider.

*⁵ From the Other Side (unnamed gn! mc × mammon)

Mammon and his human watch movies for Halloween and Mammon wonders what exactly is wrong with humans.

*⁶ The Thing About (Demon) Families (implied unnamed gn! mc × mammon)

In which Lucifer reflects on one of his six annoying baby brothers while a human not-so-silently judges him.

a.k.a. the one where Lucifer is trying his best to be a good big brother but in all honesty he probably needs therapy (they all do)

*⁷ Familiar Strangers (unnamed gn mc × mammon)

Mammon gets a little more time with the strange angel his little brothers picked up and picks up a few things of his own.

*⁸ The 5 Step Plan to Scamming an Angel (unnamed gn! mc × mammon)

They place their bet. Five steps. That's all it'll take to utterly and thoroughly neutralize the Devildom's second most powerful demon.

*⁹ Certified Idiots™ (unnamed gn! mc × mammon)

Someone had hurt their First Man and they'd walk through hell to make things right.

*¹⁰ A+ Pillow Talk (unnamed gn! mc × mammon)

He was lying to them. It's what he has always been doing. And they deserved more. They deserved so much more. He owed them so much more. And for once this was a debt he wanted to repay.

a.ka.

That one post-coital breakdown we've all definitely had

*¹¹ Physical Contact (implied unnamed gn! mc × mammon)

Physical Contact made during the Pact formation for all 7 brothers

*¹² Demonic Celebrations (my mc x mammon)

Six minfics where the human exchange student celebrates the brothers' birthdays

*¹³ Speaking to Myself (very lightly implied unnamed gn! mc x mammon but mostly just the brothers grieving Lilith)

He missed her more deeply than was comprehensible but he would always remain eternally grateful for the human sleeping curled up in their room.

*¹⁴ A Whole New World (unnamed gn! mc x mammon)

Mammon was way too old to be discovering new kinks but the human has always had an odd effect on him

Related:

Facts about General MC

MC's Magic

MC being questionably human

MC's Flaws and why they're not a "Mary Sue"

My MC in more Detail

MC Ask Meme