#god i love j-san | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bteezxyewriter12 · 25 days

Text

Coachella Night

Pairing- ATEEZ OT8 x Named Reader

Word count- 5k

Includes- Basically a gangbang, sex work but is it really work when the reader loves her job😆, 9 person relationship- don't know what that's called?, cock riding, missionary, from behind, double penetration, blow job, deep throating, pussy eating, cum eating, choking, squirting, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, so much cum, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@yeosxxx @seokwoosmole @jjongsbebe @wisejudgedragonhairdo @meowmeowminnie @woo-stars @borntowalkaway @usagionthered @san-realblkwife @seonghwasstar @jejeyeppeo @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @prayerofthehaim @realisticnotes @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @stephy-nicole13 @mknae-jongho @bykeynote

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝ATEEZ Masterlist 📝OT8 Masterlist

J POV

"Come here", San growls, pulling me into his naked lap, "Sit on my cock and ride me"

Getting his dick to my entrance, I slide down, my pussy wet and opening just enough for him push in and spread my hole open

"Fuck yes", he yells, his fingers digging into my thighs, pushing me down on him, "Fuck, just what I need right now. Fuck tight little pussy"

I know sex is just what he needs

It's what they all need after every performance, especially this hard intense Coachella one, which is why I'm here

ATEEZ's personal whore

I was hired for KQ for this reason

Fuck the guys whenever they want

And god do I love my job

It's more than a job since I've been with them since ATEEZ started

It's evolved into love between me and all of them

A weird nine person relationship that surprisingly works for us

I moved into the dorm with them, sleeping in one of their rooms every night

I go with them on every tour, every show, sleeping with them individually, in groups or all together

They take care of me and I take care of them, sexually and non sexually

But right now they wanna fuck and so do I

San bottoms me out on his length and I immediately start bouncing up and down, the drag of his big cock so fucking good

"Yes, fuck, ride me naekkeo", he yells, his hands helping me move up and down, "Oh god, yes"

Leaning over him, I lean one hand on his abs, the hard muscles cut into his skin, feeling so good under my fingers

I wrap my other hand around the chains around his neck, gripping them hard, moaning as every slam down his perfect head hits my spot, pleasure shooting up my spine

"Fuck, god your horny huh baby?", he grunts, his hips moving up, fucking up into me and meeting me when I come down, plunging his cock in so much deeper, "Pussy is already making such a huge creamy mess. So fucking tight, wanting to cum already"

I nod, whining, both of us fucking each other quickly, his big cock throbbing inside me

"It's not only me Sannie. Your cock wants to cum", I tell him, clenching down on his hard length, making it even more pleasurable for his dick to push through, "You want to fill my pussy baby"

"Fuck yes, I do"

"Mm I wanna cream all over your cock"

"Do it", he urges, "Right now"

He slams in hard and I scream as bliss takes over, my whole body shaking as I cum

"San! San! San!"

"Joanne fuck! Yes naekkeo, so tight", he gasps

Shoving his cock inside me, I feel him throb then warm cum filling me as I watch him orgasm

He's so fucking gorgeous

They all are

I rock on his cock, my pussy milking him as we both finish

He sits up, smiling at me right before he pulls me into a passionate kiss

I move my arms around his neck, kissing him back, loving how passionate he is when kissing me

They all have different ways of kissing and I love them all

San's is passionate

Wooyoung's is teasing

Seonghwa's is slow and deep Hongjoong's is hungry

Yeosang's is wild

Mingi's is desperate

Yunho's is eager

And Jongho's is hard

And I'm honestly in heaven any time I kiss any one of them

"Ok my turn!", Wooyoung whines

San breaks the kiss, chuckling, "Seems like Woo needs you bad naekkeo. Be good to him ok?"

I nod, "Always"

"Love you naekkeo"

"Love you Sannie", I answer, kissing his cheek

Climbing off of San, I sit on the bed while he gets up, Wooyoung coming right next to me, his lips against mine automatically

"Mm princess", he whines, giving me lots of little kisses on my lips but denying me his tongue

For now

Such a little shit

"Yeosang and I are gonna play ok?"

I nod, knowing how much him, Yeosang and San love tag team me

Wooyoung pulls me in his lap in a reverse cowgirl, then pulls me down against him, my back against his hard chest

I turn my head to him, kissing him as he moves his cock to my hole

I push down on him just as I slide my tongue in his mouth, against his, swallowing the moan he lets out

Moving my arm around his neck, I keep his head in place, his lips firmly against mine

No teasing right now

His hands touch my body, one wrapping around my left boob, the other sliding down to my pussy, his fingers playing with my clit

More pleasure explodes in my body, my pussy squirting juice as I fully take him inside me

"Oh god princess", he groans against my lips, "You're so fucking perfect"

"So are you Woo", I murmur, squeezing his fat cock tightly

I feel lips on my lower stomach and I break the kiss with Wooyoung, watching Yeosang kiss up my body slowly

"Mm jagi", he groans, his tongue licking my skin, "Such soft skin baby. Sweat tastes so good"

"Mmm Yeo", I groan, my body trembling as his mouth reaches my nipple

He sucks on it, bliss blasting everywhere, my cunt choking Wooyoung's cock

"Ffff", Wooyoung groans, his fingers digging into my other boob

Yeosang let's go of my nipple a minute later, his lips crashing into mine, his tongue down my throat

I wrap my free hand around his neck, pulling him closer, his body on top of mine

I feel him move his cock to my hole, pushing inside

I've taken both of them before so this is nothing new

But the pleasure is always incredible

He slides in, opening me up as wide as he can, my body arching off of Wooyoung's, moaning in Yeosang's mouth, my body shaking uncontrollably in ecstacy

I feel so satisfyingly full when he gets all in, my pussy trying to clench down on both cocks inside me

"God, always so fucking tight", Yeosang groans, "Fuck jagi, whether it's one cock or two, your always tight"

"Mmm", I moan, my brain not able to think of words to say

"Ready to wreck our princess?", Wooyoung asks Yeosang

"So ready", Yeosang agrees

I feel both their cocks slide out, my pussy desperately trying to latch on and keep them inside

Then suddenly I'm full to bursting as they thrust back in at the same time, pleasure crashing over me

I scream their names as they move quickly, stroke after stroke, one of their heads hitting my spot each time

"God she's so good", Wooyoung groans

"Mmm...fuck, she's creaming our cocks so much. Never seen this much cream from her pussy before"

"Fuck, I wanna see", Wooyoung whines, although he's seen it plenty of times when their places are switched

Yeosang sits up slightly, his hands around my boobs squeezing, fingers pinching my nipples, adding to the bliss

His eyes are on mine, watching me with a smirk on his gorgeous face

While Wooyoung's hand is between Yeosang and I, rubbing my clit as they fuck me, driving me crazy

I'm aware that Wooyoung's other hand is squeezing my hip as he moans in my ear

As for me, one of my hands is gripping Yeosang's back, the other gripping Wooyoung's side, my nails buried in their skin as they fuck me like a rag doll

My head is in the clouds, I can't tell where they and I start, it's all just one big thing of pleasure

"Mmm baby's all fucked out", Yeosang laughs, their hips not stopping

"Yeah and her pussy is gonna cum. You feel how tighter she is?"

"Yeah, clenching so desperately. Such a good pussy for us"

"Such a good girl", Wooyoung agrees, "Is she scratching you up too?"

"Yeah. Feels good"

I hear their words but my brain isn't connecting that I'm scratching them

I'm too far gone to make sense of it right now

All I know is I'm gonna cum and it's going to be a massive orgasm

The thrust again and I lose all of my senses as wave after wave of ecstasy tidal waves over my body

I'm aware I'm screaming their names, I'm aware I'm squirting but I can't control anything, just ride the waves of utter bliss

"Yes good girl", Yeosang praises, his hand running in my hair, kissing my face, while Wooyoung kisses my neck

"Such a good princess", Wooyoung coos, "Feels so fucking good baby"

"Yeah, fuck I'm gonna cum", Yeosang groans

"Me too", Wooyoung moans

I feel both cocks move inside me then hot cum filling me and leaking out of my pussy

"Yes Joanne, fuck jagi", Yeosang groans

"Princess, Jo, mmmm....so good", Wooyoung whines

I feel so exhausted, my body sore as the pleasure fades

Yeosang kisses my lips softly, tells me he loves me, then pulls out and moves off me

Wooyoung whispers "I love you" in my ear, kisses my cheek then slips out from under me, laying me on the bed

I couldn't move if I wanted to

I need a few minutes to get the feeling back in my body

I feel a warm wet towel on my pussy, one of them cleaning the mess in my cunt while hands are on my thighs, massaging my achy muscles

After a few minutes, I feel like I'm able to move again

But before I do, I feel a wet tongue on my pussy, licking slowly up, rolling over my clit, zapping pleasure back into me

I know who it is without looking

But I gaze down away, seeing his warm brown eyes on mine as his tongue runs up and down my pussy

Seonghwa

He's huge on oral

Loves to eat me out as much as he can

Always does it before we have sex

Hell, even when we're not having sex, he just wants his mouth on me

And I'll take it every time

He is the king of oral and knows just what to do to get me seeing stars

"Hwannie", I whimper, moving my fingers in his soft black hair

"Tastes so good jagi", he murmurs, flicking my clit back and forth, "Love eating your pussy baby"

I smile at him, watching his tongue slide up and down, getting more turned on

He pushes his face more into my cunt, his tongue slipping inside, making me clench around it

"Fuck", he groans, lightly tongue fucking me, "So fucking good. Making me so hard baby"

"Mm Hwa, gonna fuck me too?", I ask, shivers running up my back, "Gonna give me your big fat cock too?"

"Yes", he moans, his mouth wrapping around my clit, sucking once, my body arching from just that one move, "Gonna make you cream on my face jagi. Cum all over my tongue. Then I'm gonna make you cum on my cock"

He sucks faster, the bliss increasing

"Gonna cum in my pussy Hwannie? Fill me with you cum?"

"Yes jagi, fuck yes", he whines, slurping desperately on my clit, his jaw moving so hypnotically with each move

My legs shake around his head, my breathing increasing as he gets me closer

God, the fucking mouth on this man is incredible

Sucking harshly, I'm thrown head first into a mind blowing orgasm, my body arching, incredible pleasure running through my veins, my mouth screaming his name uncontrollably

"Seonghwa! Seonghwa! Seonghwa!"

He sucks on me a few more times then slides his tongue down into my cunt, my pussy throbbing around it immediately

"Oh god yes Hwa", I cry, tears running down my face from the bliss

His tongue keeps moving as he swallows my cum, moaning how good I taste

After he cleans my pussy, he kisses up my body, my skin jumping with every press of his lips

He moves on top of me just as his lips press against mine, shivers running up my spine

He licks my lip, his tongue against mine, his mouth moving as he kisses me deeply

He moves my legs around his waist, his cock pushing in

As soon as his head is in, my pussy locks around him, squeezing tightly

He groans as he slips inside, forcing me open around his thick cock

I feel every inch slide in, my pussy becoming wetter and wetter, sucking his length inside

I move my arms around his back, holding him tightly, my body arching into his

He groans, his arm wrapping around my waist, keeping me against him as he bottoms out, his head right against my spot

He pulls back, tingles running through my body at the drag of his fat cock, my legs squeezing his waist tighter

He thrust in slow but deep, his cock plunging in my pussy, hitting my spot, pleasure crashing around me

He keeps his strokes deep, getting a perfect pace going, not too fast, not too slow

I'm soon in complete bliss, moaning in between kisses, gripping his back, my other hand sliding in the back of his hair, fingers tangling in the strands

"So good jagi", he murmurs, in between kisses, "You fit perfectly around my cock baby. Made for me"

I nod, moaning a yes, then kissing him again, wanting nothing but his lips against mine

His head rubs against my spot over and over, the pleasure building until I snap, crashing right into another orgasm, clinging onto him as I ride the bliss

"Hwa", I moan against his lips, a groan coming for him as he sheaths his cock inside me, throbbing wonderfully then shooting him cum in deep, "Hwannie"

"Jo fuck jagi", he whimpers, grinding into me as my pussy sucks his cock dry, "I love you"

"I love you Hwa"

He looks down at me, smiling softly, presses a kiss to my cheek,

Then he pulls out and moves off me, Mingi coming to stand at the edge of the bed, looking at me shyly

"Can you ride me aegi?"

"Of course baby", I smile, tugging his hand and getting him to lay down

I start to climb on him but he stops me

"Other way aegi"

I smirk, "Oh, you wanna watch my pussy fuck you?"

He bite his lips nodding

"Ok baby but first I want a kiss"

He smiles brightly, pulling me down to him, his lips against mine

The kiss turns desperate, our tongues playing with each others, his mouth constantly moving

"Please", he whispers against my lips, "Please, need you"

I run my fingers in his hair, smiling at him, "Anything for you baby"

I get on him in a reverse cowgirl position, leaning over on the bed, giving him a good view of my cunt

"Fuck aegi", he groans as I hold his cock in place so I can sit on it

My pussy is wet with juice and Seonghwa's cum so it's easier to get him in

I still push down hard because Mingi's cock is one of the biggest with Yunho's slightly bigger

But I still get him all in every time

I love feeling full of him, love feeling like he's in my stomach

"Oh god baby", he groans, as I slip him in, "Fuck, that tiny hole spreading so wide for my cock. So pretty. God I love how tight you are"

"Mmm yeah baby", I groan, sitting fully on his dick, rocking back and forth, using his head to rub my spot

"Yes, yes, yes", he cries, his hands squeezing my ass, his hips bucking up, keeping himself completely buried in my pussy

I change my movements, grinding on his cock, each pass of his head on my spot making me pulse down hard, feeling fucking amazing

"Jagi", I hear in front of me

I look up to find Yunho in front of me, his hand around his very hard cock, slit dripping cum, "It hurts baby. I need a little....can you-"

I nod, waving him closer, knowing exactly what he needs

He gets on the bed in front of me, my hand replacing his, my mouth around his fat head, licking and swallowing his cum

So good

I begin sucking softly, his pretty groans reaching my ears

"Baby", Mingi whines and I begin to bounce on his cock while sucking off Yunho

I've done this plenty of times before, so I had a lot of practice at coordinating movements

I slide slowly up Mingi's cock, purposely clenching his length as I do

When I get to his head, I surge down, taking him all in one shot, my ass hitting his legs with a loud smack

I repeat these movements, bliss running through my body, making sure my spot gets stimulated each bounce

At the same time, I suck more of Yunho's dick into my mouth, jerking off the rest of him in time to my sucking

"Yes jagi", Yunho groans, his hand in my hair, holding on, his face in pleasure as he watches me, his chest heaving

I decided to stop teasing him and push down his length, bottoming him out in my throat

"God jagi", he whines, my mouth sucking on him hard while I move on Mingi's cock, Mingi whimpering in pleasure behind me

Fuck, I love having two big hard cocks inside me, fucking both my pussy and throat open

I move my head back and forth, bobbing on Yunho's dick, while I bounce on Mingi, taking him deep inside me

As if they read each other's minds, Mingi starts thrusting up into my cunt as I come down, holding me in place as he fucks my pussy just as Yunho holds my head still and starts throat fucking me

Tears run down my eyes from the intense ecstasy, letting both of them use me how they want

And enjoying every second of it

The wet sound of my pussy taking Mingi's cock mixes with the wet sound of Yunho fucking my throat and it's so pornographic, turning me on more

My head gets fuzzy as I'm thoroughly fucked, each stroke of their cocks bringing me closer and closer

"Pussy's gonna cum", Mingi shouts, his hips moving faster, wrecking my hole

Both thrust in again, euphoria throwing me into an earth shattering orgasm

I scream on Yunho's cock, both of them fucking me through it, both yelling at how good I feel

My arms shake violently, almost giving out as my orgasm keeps going

Mingi's throbbing cock slams up, his cum filling me as he screams my name

Yunho's cock continues to pummel my throat, spit all over his cock, leaking onto the bed

"I'm gonna cum!", Yunho yells, "Wanna cum in her pussy!"

I'm pulled off Mingi, turned around, my face against Mingi's chest as Yunho shoves his thick cock in from behind me, splitting my hole wide open

He pounds in repeatedly, my cunt still sensitive from the orgasm Mingi gave me that it doesn't take long before I'm coming again on Yunho's cock, screaming in bliss against Mingi's skin, Mingi's fingers running in my hair

"Yes yes yes", he growls, thrusting in and coming inside me, "Joanne, jagi fuck, I love you"

I feel his cum leak out from my cunt as my pussy twitches around him

He finishes and pulls out, my body shaking slightly on it's own

Mingi kisses my cheek, whispering an "I love you" before he moves away, putting me on the bed

I'm laying face down on the bed, hands running up and down my back

"Jagi", Jongho says softly, "Can you handle more?"

Of course I can

I'm not stopping until all my guys are satisfied

I still have Jongho and Hongjoong left

I'm not leaving them out

"Yeah baby", I answer

"Stay just like this baby", he says, moving his arm around my waist, holding my ass up, "I'll take you this way so you can rest"

"Are you sure baby?"

"Yeas jagi. I got you"

I murmur in agreement, glad that I can at least lay down for now and save my energy

I know Hongjoong is gonna want me to ride him

It's his favorite position and I'll always give him, give them all what they want

Jongho likes it from behind so this is perfect for him

I feel his cock tight at my hole, going inside slowly

Chills run up my spine as he gets in, my pussy spasming on his dick, relishing the way he opens my cunt

Jongho is massively thick, almost too big for me and normally he has to push hard to get in

I'm just soaking wet and full of cum, making it easy for him to slip in

He pulls out slowly, pleasure sparking up my spine, tears falling down my face

He thrusts back inside slowly, making sure he bottoms out, going in so deep

"Jongho", I cry, each stroke so fucking good

I should be overstimulated but because I fuck them all regularly, I'm used to this many orgasms, this much pleasure

Jongho keeps his steady rhythm and I find myself moving back on him as he thrusts in, spreading my legs wider

His pelvis hits my ass over and over, the sound washing over me

"Fuck your pussy is so wet baby. Such a big fucking mess in there", he groans, "Gonna let me leave a mess in there too?"

"Yes Jonghie, want your mess in my pussy", I whine, my fingers twisting in the sheets, "Fuck want it so bad"

Him and I move together, his fingers sliding down to my clit, rubbing and sending me head first into my orgasm, squirting all over him

"Fff...fuck Jo!", he cries, shoving his cock in, coming in my cunt, feeling so good

When we finish, he pulls out, turning me on my back, leaning down, his soft lips against mine in a hard but sweet kiss

"I love you", he tells me

"I love you too Jonghie", I smile tiredly

He kisses my forehead, then moves off the bed

I lift my head looking for Hongjoong

"I'm here jagi", he says softly, sitting next to me, "It's ok baby, we don't have to. I know you're tired"

Not tired enough to stop

"No baby", I answer, sitting up

"Baby it's ok", he repeats

I shake my head, getting in his lap, facing him, cupping his cheek, tilting his head back, his gorgeous brown eyes on mine

"I need you Joongie", I tell him, then press my lips to his, "I need my captain"

He kisses me like he can't get enough, his tongue against mine, arms wrapped around my body, fingers tangling in my hair

As I kiss him, I sink down on his dick, my hole stretching for him

His breath hitches as he stops kissing me, moaning in my mouth but keeping his lips against mine

I bounce on his dick, his hands sliding down my back, gripping my ass as I ride him

My mind is completely shutting off as I get fucked out on his cock

He's so hard, having to sit, wait and watch the other guys with me

He has the patience of a saint

I keep my arms around his neck, fingers buried in his hair, both of us breathing hard against each other's lips, his cock expertly fucking me open, his fat head against my spot again and again

My legs burn from riding and being open for so long but I'm not stopping

He feels too good and he deserves this

"Jjjj...jagi ..can you ..", he trails off

"Yeah baby", I agree, "Lay back for me"

He moves back on his elbows, his head tilted back, his neck exposed to me

Leaning forward, I press a kiss to his beauty mark that I love, then sit back up

Increasing my speed, I ride him hard, my hand moving around his neck

Squeezing his neck, his body stiffens, shaking under me as I cut his air off

I make sure I slam my cunt down on him hard and fast, grinding on his cock when I take him back in

Letting go of his neck, he breathes in, whining that it feels good

I choke him again, watching him get closer

Letting him breathe, he opens his eyes, tears falling down his beautiful face

Tears of my own fall because of the pleasure he's giving me, his cock throbbing so fast, hard and pleasurably inside me

His hand moves to my clit, rubbing softly, my pussy gripping his cock in a vice grip, completely soaking him, the ecstasy increasing

"Jagi", he sobs, his body shaking under me, "Please jagi"

"Cum for me Joongie", I whisper, choking him again, bouncing and sending him into his orgasm

I watch him fall apart under me, the sight so gorgeous as he pumps my pussy full of cum

He's still rubbing my clit and that stimulation plus feeling him fill me makes me snap

I cry out his name, sobbing hard as I climax around his cock for the last time tonight

Letting go of his neck, his scream of my name shatters the silence, his arm snaking around my waist, pulling me against him as he lays down

I bury my face in his neck, staying on top of him, both of us crying as the ecstasy slowly leaves us

Cuddling into him, I close my eyes, both of us staying still as we try to catch our breath

My body is dead weight and I can't move at all

I'm exhausted

"I love you jagi", he whispers

"I love you Joongie"

"Stay with me?", he asks

"Yeah baby", I agree, wanting to stay in his arms

"She'll sleep here with me tonight", Hongjoong says tiredly, holding me tightly against him

"Really?", Yeosang whines

"Yeah", Hongjoong answers, "She can't get up right now. She's exhausted. And I'm already holding her. I'm not giving her up tonight. I want to stay with her"

I smile against his neck, giving him a soft peck

"Fine but she's with me tomorrow", Yunho says

"Then me", Yeosang calls

The rest of them call a day for me to sleep with them, a smile forming on my face from how much they want me

Showing me I mean more to them than just sex

It gives me a warm joyful feeling inside

"Ok shoo", Hongjoong says after the schedule is made, "Come say good night to her

"There's food on the table if she's hungry", Seonghwa tells Hongjoong

"And water and Gatorade", Mingi says, "In the fridge"

"Ok", Hongjoong answers

"Night jagi", Seonghwa says, coming over and kissing my lips softly, "I love you"

"I love you Hwa. Night"

"Good night naekkeo. I love you", San coos, kissing my cheek, then my lips

"Night Sannie and I love you"

One by one they all come to say good night, tell me they love me and kiss me

And I tell each one of them I love them because I do

My heart has enough room for all of them and I can't live without any of them

The rest of the guys leave and after a few minutes, Hongjoong sits up with me in his lap

He reaches for the phone and dials

"Hi, yeah can you come and change the sheets, blankets and pillows? My dumb friends spilled alcohol all over it. I'm gonna take a shower so you guys can just come in. Thanks"

He's smart

He hangs up the phone, then stands up with me

We go into the bathroom and he turns the water on in the bathtub

"What are you doing Joongie"

"Taking care of my jagi"

"You don't have to baby"

He really doesn't

None of them have to but they all take turns with aftercare

From getting me food, to cleaning me up, to showering or taking a bath with me, each one of them has taken care of me more than once from the first time I slept with them

And when they're exhausted, either from sex or from their work, I take care of them

"Of course I do", he says softly, "I love you jagi, I want to take care of you"

"I love you too Joongie", I smile

He smiles his gorgeous smile, taking my breath away

He tucks hair behind my ear, saying, "Besides, the people are coming to change the bedding and you need a hot bath to relax in"

"You're staying with me right?"

He nods, "Of course baby"

When the rub is full, Hongjoong gets both of us in the tub, me sitting in-between his legs and laying back on him

He leans my head back on his shoulder, kissing my neck, his hands massaging my shoulders

It feels so good against my achy muscles

He makes sure to massage my arms and my legs too, making my muscles looser

Then he just holds me, his arms around my waist, his head leaning against mine

It's so comfortable, his strong arms feeling so good around me

I don't know how long we stay in the bath for but when we get out the water is cold

We heard the staff come in and change the sheets so we can go to sleep now

Hongjoong dries me off then carries me back into the room, laying me in the bed

He turns off all the lights, then gets into bed beside me, pulling the blanket around us

His arm wraps around me as I lay my head on his shoulder, my face against his neck, our legs tangled, cuddling into each other

"Night jagi", he murmurs, kissing my forehead, "I love you"

"I love you", I answer, kissing his jaw, "Night baby"

Closing my eyes, I drift off to sleep in my captain's arms

261 notes · View notes

jeon-ify · 4 months

Text

that night : j. yunho - pt. 1

a/n: this is my first actual fic since i’ve just been posting scenarios and requests :3 !! this idea came from listening to ‘you broke me first’ by tate mcrae. its a great song and it reminds me of yunho but toxic yunho. it would kinda be good if you listen to the song while reading !! idk girl i just write

genre: smut, drama, early 20s- mid 20s romance, toxic/dark romance, 18+

warnings: smut, dark romance, toxic!yunho, yunho has a threesome with y/n’s best friends, yunho is a cheater, reader swears a lot, yunho calls reader a psychotic bitch, san is a druggie, alcohol, cocaine, yunho begs, yunho gets sad and guilty, reader claims she moved on, san is annoying as hell, wooyoung is readers bestie!!

“san! i haven’t talked to you in so long, i’m sorry! how have you been?” your phone rang, you look to see that san called you about 20 times. you’ve been ignoring him, since he’s done almost every drug under the sun in the past year since you all have moved to different cities.

“man I called you 6 times. stop playing dumb. yunho’s asking about you again, please call him back. i’m sick of his shit.” san sniffles sharply. you’re sure he’s doing crack again, but when is he not?

you did not want to hear about yunho. you haven’t heard about or seen him in almost 4 years now, recovering from that night.

~~~~~~~~~~~

you call yunho, in hopes that he’d pick up. you left him a voicemail asking if he’d want anything from target when you were off work tonight.

*hello!! it’s yunho, sorry i couldn’t take your call. leave a message and i’ll call back!*

“i’m gonna stop at target, babe. did you want anything? love you, call me back.”

you finish your target run, grabbing a set of shampoo and conditioner and other necessities as you’ve been out of your favorites for a week now. you step out of the car, grabbing your bags and unlocking the door to yunhos apartment. you didn’t live with him, but you practically did since you were there almost every day of the week.

“~yuyu, fuck its so good! so big!” “you fuck us so good oh my god.”

“you’re both so fuckin’ pretty. my god.”

no fucking way.

your heart dropped to your ass, at a loss of every word in the dictionary. you felt like you were being run over by a truck 100 times over.

it felt like every moment with yunho was flashing at once.

he told you he loved you a million times a minute, you thought you were the only one. you thought that yunho would love you and only you, but how could you be so stupid to trust anyone else again?

you walk to where the noise is coming from, tears flooding your eyes, threatening to fall. the door is cracked a little, you see a pile of black hair and red hair mixed, one on top of the other. one of the girls has a tattoo on her wrist while the other has one too— it looks all too familiar.

one tattoo being a moon, the other being a sun.

your best friends.

you want to cut off the star tattoo on your wrist so fucking bad. how could they ever betray you like this? they never approved of yunho, but he’s inside both of them, fucking them on your shared bed. in your (what was once) home.

you didn’t even want to acknowledge the situation, instead you dropped the target bag at the door of the bedroom, leaving as soon as you could.

hours later, yunho calls. no answer.

you stare as your phone rings.

*32 missed calls from yuyu 🫶🏻✨*

yuyu 🫶🏻✨: hey, sry i didn’t call back. where’d u go?

yuyu 🫶🏻✨: babe?

yuyu 🫶🏻✨: y/n, pick up the phone.

yuyu 🫶🏻✨: not funny.

Read at 12:43AM

yuyu 🫶🏻✨: ur reading my fkn messages but ur not answering n its pissing me off

yuyu 🫶🏻✨: alr whatever lmao dnt pick up.

Today at 5:21AM

yuyu 🫶🏻✨: i cnt sleep, thibkin about yoj

*2 missed calls from yuyu 🫶🏻✨*

you watch your phone ring, waiting for the ringing to stop. your tears flow, deciding to call him back.

“baby? my fucking god, i mis-missed you. *hiccup* had me worried sick.” he slurs. he’s fucking crying.?

“you’re a fucking liar. my best friends? you’re drinking, you piece of shit. and you’re fucking crying?”

“relax, they’re not your best friends and i know that cus they did that to you, plus me and you baby, we don’t belong to each other. been wanting to leave. felt so fucking locked up. you won’t let me do what i want, you controlling fucking psychotic bitch.”

what the fuck.?

you watch the time on the phone call increase as he mumbles what you really meant to him.

you feel like you really did trap him, but you both didn’t agree on a poly relationship. for him to fuck your best friends is an insane thing to do to someone.

you end the phone call after 57 minutes of yunho talking about how much he fucking hated you for never letting him fuck your friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“i’m never talking to that piece of shit again and never bring him up to me. i have things to do, i’ll text you.”

you hung up the phone after 35 seconds.

you’ve grown past the situation with yunho, healing and becoming a better person. you were single, traumatized from your past relationships being a burden on you. but, your best friend wooyoung always supported you through and through. he wanted what was best for you, even though he introduced you to yunho. it wasn’t wooyoungs fault that yunho had fucked up (or was already fucked up), he just wanted to help you find someone. you had your own apartment, your own car and your own lash studio. you were booked for days on end, always working and being your own person.

but, with healing comes pain.

you’d occasionally think about yunho, how he’d pamper you in gifts and he’d take you anywhere you wanted. you thought about the nights that you’d cried to him, he’d hold you in his warm chest, making sure you were held and you didn’t feel alone. you sometimes still toss around in bed, thinking yunho was next to you, on your right side. you’d still bake matcha and white chocolate cookies as if he’d eat them with you, a reminder that you loved yunho— as your love language was baking— and every time you see those cookies, your heart begins to ache.

you pick up your phone and text your best friend, as he’s the only person you go to for anything.

—————-

to: woo 🧍🏻‍♀️

y/n: bitch get up

y/n: r u awake yet

y/n: GET THE FUCK UP BRO ITS AN EMERGENCY

y/n: if ur not up in the nect 5 minutes i’m calling the cips

y/n: next *^ & cops^*

y/n: man i just need to talk 😩 san called me

*seen*

woo 🧍🏻‍♀️: girl what the FUCK

woo 🧍🏻‍♀️: did u call the cops yet

woo 🧍🏻‍♀️: is the cop hot

woo 🧍🏻‍♀️: bitch WHI CALLED

woo 🧍🏻‍♀️: im calling u rn answer

your best friend calls you in no less than 3 minutes after your series of texts.

“why is san calling you? what’d he want?” wooyoung asks, concern masking his voice.

“woo, i just started feeling like i finally moved on from all that bullshit. he fucking calls me like ‘oh yunho wants to talk to you’ and i’ve been dodging yunho for fucking ever. i know he’s been calling me but-“ you ramble to him. he cuts you off, questioning:

“did you ask him what he wanted from you?”

“it doesn’t matter because im over it and im over fucking everything. its all bad news and i don’t wanna go down that hole again, woo. if you’re so curious ask him yourself. i don’t care and i honestly don’t wanna know.”

“okay. i won’t ask.” wooyoung says in defense. he has a sixth sense, and his sense is telling him that maybe something is wrong with yunho, or maybe he wants to try to give you the closure you deserve. though he already gave you closure— just not the kind you expected from someone you’ve loved for 6 years.

but a part of you really wanted to know why he called. a little portion of your heart still aches for yunho, but you’re healing, remember?

the phone call ends after small talk, and you stare at yunho’s contact info for 7 minutes. you open messages and read the last message he sent you. you have him blocked, but you know it’s his number.

May 19th, 2021 at 3:21AM

*You have new messages from (***)***-**** *

(***)***-****: baby, i’m so sorry.

(***)***-****: you won’t ever forgive me, but i’ve changed. my star, my love, my moon, my sun.

(***)***-****: i can’t sleep anymore.

(***)***-****: i’ll leave you alone, okay?

December 10th, 2022 at 1:21AM

(***)***-****: i can’t live without you.

(***)***-****: it’s been so fucking long

(***)***-****: js need to see ur face. keep staring at the same pic but it was so long ago

(***)***-****: my messages are green, why are they green?

(***)***-****: i met someone today, his name started with an M but i can’t remember what his name was

(***)***-****: he’s helping me heal. ik i don’t deserve to heal but i wanna be better bc u deserve better

(***)***-****: i wanna be the one for u my love

(***)***-****: i fucked up but pls believe me when i say i’ll change for u bb

(***)***-****: i’m going to sleep, goodnight my angel

January 8, 2023 at 7:08PM

(***)***-****: everythibg remjnds me of u baby

(***)***-****: ur everywhere i go

(***)***-****: ur everything i see

(***)***-****: mingi won’t let me live diwn what i did to u

(***)***-****: i deserve to fucking die

(***)***-****: i really lost u

Today at 10:32PM

(***)***-****: i still miss you, my love.

(***)***-****: want you to carry my children and be in my life forever.

(***)***-****: i’ve bettered myself. i’ve changed, please let me see you again.

*seen*

shortly after you open his book of messages, your phone rings.

*2 missed calls from (***)***-**** *

———————

you watch your phone ring twice, your heart dropping 6 times over, you didn’t think he would be this bad about it, but maybe he aches for you the same way you ache for him.

maybe yunho is sorry. maybe he changed and maybe he wants to be with you again.

your phone rings again, the same phone number showing up, as your shaky hands press the green button.

silence. the first 8 seconds is silent as yunho tries to process and come up with what he’ll say to you.

he tried calling you for 3 years on end, you’d blocked him. he was so used to your voicemail being the only thing left of you to heal him.

“h-hello?” there it is. the voice you refused to hear for almost 4 years, its there. it’s no longer only in your head, it’s his voice on the other side of the 7 inch screen against your ear.

his voice makes your stomach twist and turn, your hands sweating as your chest forms a hole within itself.

“you don’t need to say anything, just listen to me, hm? you can hang up any second you want, but if your heart still aches for me the way mine does for you, you’d listen.

my love. i’ve ruined you and tore you to shreds. i don’t even know where i begin. you are the most precious thing that has ever happened to me. the minute you entered my life, i took you for granted and fucked up. i didn’t realize how much i loved you or how much you meant to me until you left. that night is a blur to me, you didn’t deserve any of that. you deserve to be treated like royalty, you deserve to be treated in the most beautiful and enchanting way because that is how you made me feel. but i went and fucked that up for the both of us. i didn’t mean what i said to you. i was drunk but that’s no excuse to talk to you the way i did. it’s not right. it never was.

the only time i ever find myself doing right is when i beat myself up for doing you wrong.

i stay at the same apartment, san comes over and does whatever he needs to do but i haven’t touched a drug since you left me. the minute you left was the minute i decided to better myself. mingi is helping me be the person i want to be for you. my god, i hate myself for everything ive done to you. i’m not asking for your forgiveness, i know you won’t give it to me. but i want you to know that i still am here and i still love you. i love you better and i love you the way you deserve.

are you still with me, y/n?”

he breathes. you breathe. you finally breathe.

“i- yunho. i don’t know how to feel about any of this, you really hurt me and i can’t trust anyone anymore. you fucked my best friends, in our room. i don’t even know why i even looked at my phone or why i even answered san when he called me. i’m doing better, but you calling me again is really making me feel like i’m falling down that hole again.” you try your hardest to not let him hear you grow weak to his confession. his heart caved in, and his stomach grew empty when you’d brought up his mistake.

“i understand. i won’t push or do anything to make you uncomfortable. but, i want to have coffee with you, or one of us can come over and we can talk about this, hm?”

you sigh. you felt like all the healing and all the self care you’ve been doing is going straight down the drain.

but do you wanna listen to what he has to say?

“i’m free tomorrow afternoon. but i can’t stay long.” is all you say. you don’t wanna keep this conversation going, nor do you even want to talk about this at all. you are growing selfish; only wanting to see yunho because you miss the attention you used to get from him.

“as long as i get to see you, its okay. i look forward to talking to you, y/n. been waiting forever. is 4:30 fine with you?” he sniffles and lets out a calm chuckle from within his throat.

he’s aching just as much as you are.

“yes. goodnight, yunho.”

“goodnight, star.” that nickname. the same nickname that dragged you into his lore. he speaks lightly. the phone call ends and he sounds like an angel, making your head spin and your heart confused.

you don’t know whether to trust yunho again because, maybe, he is sorry. maybe he wants to make things right with you.

for the rest of the night, you cannot sleep. you don’t decide on going tomorrow, you really don’t want to face yunho after what he did to you. after 4 hours of tossing and turning, rereading texts from yunho, drinking water, and listening to nothing but the buzzing in your ear, you finally manage to get sleep.

—————————————————————————————

first fic!! yay!! i know yall are gonna hate yunho because what he did to y/n is trash and ass and all of the above. i hope you guys start to understand yunho further in the story. idk what im gonna do with this fic but i hope i come up with part 2 in a timely manner cus i dont want it to be dragged lol. but!!!!!!!!!! i hope you all like this fic just as much as i HATE it 😋

#Spotify #kpop smut #ateez #ateez fanfic #kpop #ateez imagines #ateez smut #ateez x reader #jeong yunho #yunho #ateez yunho #yunho x reader #yunho smut #jung yunho #m: yunho #yunho fluff #SoundCloud

212 notes · View notes

unique-high · 4 months

Text

BONNET | ATEEZ X BLK FEM READER

Ateez has different interactions with you and your bonnet.

No warnings.

A/N: Wasn't really sure about this, but hopefully, someone likes it. I enjoyed writing it.

Sorry for any mistakes.

Mingi: He is the type of boyfriend who will carefully put your bonnet back on after it comes off in the middle of the night. He also changed out his pillowcases to silk pillowcases just for you. When you're getting ready for bed, he helps with getting your hair into your bonnet. He'll kiss your forehead telling you: “You're so beautiful. Don't ever forget how beautiful you are. Hell, I'll never let you forget how beautiful you are, Y/n.”

Wooyoung: It was your first time spending the night with your boyfriend Wooyoung. You stood in the bathroom clenching your leopard-printed bonnet in your hands. “What if he laughs.” you'd think. There's a quick knock at the door, and you jump clearing your throat. Wooyoung asks if everything is okay. You suck in a deep breath, slipping your bonnet on. Slowly you opened the door saying to Wooyoung: “Don't laugh.” he'd be a little confused as to why you'd say that then his eyes came to the leopard-printed bonnet. “Oh, honey.” He'd cooed. “I would never laugh at you. You look so lovely in your bonnet."

San: He would buy your bonnets for you. Usually, they would be in his favorite colors, he even got you a customized bonnet with his picture on it a little cheesy, some would think but you loved the hell out that one bonnet. He's the type of boyfriend to remind you to put on your bonnet before sleeping. When you're all whiny and too tired to put it on yourself San puts your bonnet on you with a small pout saying, “Hmm, I think I spoil you too much. You can put your bonnet on yourself, baby.” but he would always do it because he loves taking care of you.

Yunho: He'd be a little surprised seeing you wear your bonnet for the first time around him. “Hey, you never wear your bonnet around me before.” he'd say as he fixes your bonnet on your head. “I...I was just never comfortable enough til now.” You'd say. Hearing this hurts him a little, he gently cups your adorable face tilting your head so you're looking up at him. “Thank you.” He'd say. “Why are you thanking me?” You'd blink, confused at your man. He would smile giving your pouty lips a quick kiss, saying, “For sharing this part of yourself with me. I know it may not be easy for you to let me see you in your bonnet, but I will always still thank you are the most beautiful woman in the world.”

Jongho: He helps you get your box braids into your bonnet every night. Jongho always looked forward to helping you, it was his favorite part of his nighttime routine with you. “You know J, you don't always have to help me.” You'd say. Jongho would kiss the top of your head and say, “But I want to help you.” There was this warm feeling that spread over you. This differed from your past relationships where you felt ashamed to even wear your bonnet since your ex-partners would make fun of you or they just found you wearing a bonnet not sexy at all. So having your boyfriend Jongho always help you was this very intimate moment for the both of you.

Yeosang: He wears a matching bonnet with you. The pink bonnet with the blackband. Yeosang would always buy a variety of bonnets for you and him. Always matching ones, though. He had a bonnet with your picture on it that was his favorite one to wear. “God, did you really have to put my face on a bonnet, Yeosang?” You'd ask the first time you saw your face on the silky light blue bonnet he's wearing. He'd playfully grin at you before quickly giving you a kiss on the nose, “Of course I did. You're my beautiful girl.” he'd say. Your face gets all warm and you softly slap your hand against his chest and smile.

Hongjoong: “If you don't like it. I can take it off.” You'd say to Hongjoong the first time he sees you in your bonnet. His brows knit together and he pulls you down to sit on his lap. “No. I love it. I would never ask you to take off your bonnet. I'm happy you're comfortable with me now to let me see you wear one.” He'd give your thigh a light little squeeze. “You don't find me unattractive or anything, do you?” you'd ask. Hongjoong would smile at you, holding your gaze. “Why would I? Protecting your hair is important to me. I still find you attractive with your bonnet. It's sexy.”

Seonghwa: just like Mingi, Seonghwa is the type of boyfriend who puts your bonnet back on in the middle of the night, his voice low, and soft with sleep as he speaks to you while you're half asleep. “Y/n, baby lift your head some for me.” he'd say as tucks your hair back into your bonnet. You'd pout in your sleep not wanting to listen to your boyfriend. Seonghwa would carefully lift your head himself to get your bonnet fully on your head. “You sleep too wild that's why your bonnet always comes off.” he'd kiss your forehead. You mumble something in your sleepy voice into his chest, “The bonnet has a mind of its own.”

#Kpop fanfic #kpop fanfic #kpop x black reader #kpop x reader #kpop x ambw #ateez fanfic #ateez x black reader #fanfic #ateez x woc #ateez x blk fem reader #blk reader x kpop #ateez x blk y/n #ateez x you #ateez x y/n #ateez x reader #ateez x black girl reader #ateez x s/o #ateez scenarios #ateez x reaction

153 notes · View notes

ilwonuu · 24 days

Note

AHHHH IVE JUST FINISHED READING UR FIRST TIME WITH YEOSANG AND THE SAN VERSION!!! I AM IN LOVEEEE WITH THIS!!! I was also wondering if you could do a Jun version of this since I saw u also write for Seventeen! 🩷

oh my gosh thank you so much!! i’m so happy you enjoyed them,,,i would love to do a jun version,,,lmk what you think and thank you for requesting <3

first time

·.༄࿔ wen junhui

ೀ pairing- established relationship, nonidol!jun x fem!reader, softdom!jun x sub!reader

ೀ warnings- smut with no plot, fluff!!!, first time, dry humping, making out, slight blood, unprotected sex(he pulls out), dirty talk, pet names(angel,baby), jun is a sweetheart<3, they take a bath together after, they say i love you for the first time (yuck), lmk what else!!!

ೀ a/n- i was having WAY too much fun writing this. where’s my jun at 🙂

you and jun have never rushed into anything in your relationship. you met him a few years ago but only started dating him for 5 months. you two didn’t get intimate until 2 months into your relationship. you have gave him a couple handjobs, gave him head a couple times. he’s more shy about what he does to you but he has always offered which you agreed. he was quick to offer to eat you out once before which you both enjoyed very much. the casual fingers in between your legs as you two watch a movie. jun was shy but he wasn’t scared to not do it.

he’s had sex before. that made you a little nervous but you were ready. you two were making out in your shared bedroom. his hands were on your hips as you started to grind against him. his hands are big against your waist. you are already drunk on your boyfriends touch. “you’re so pretty.” he says in between kisses. “j-jun.” you moan out as he starts to move your hips faster against him. you throw your head back in pleasure when he starts kissing your neck.

“jun- p-please i need you to fuck me.” he pulls away from your neck to look at you. “what- are you sure?” you nod as you grind against him harder. “y-yes junnie- i need you so bad- i’ve been thinking about it so much.” you look at him nervously. “fuck- i need you to but i want to make sure you’re 100% sure.” he holds your waist tighter as you continue to move. “i’m so sure- i want you so bad jun.” you moan as you feel him get harder underneath you.

“okay- tell me if you start feeling unsure.” he smiles at you as he pulls you to kiss him. he hands are touching you softly. the fabric of your underwear and your boyfriends sweatpants being the only thing keeping you from each other. “i’m g-gonna cum jun.” your moans get louder as he helps guide you against him. “yea? cum for me. you’re so good for me love.” his voice so close to your ear sending shivers down your spine. “j-jun.” you cry out as your legs lightly shake.

“i know angel, feels so good. let go for me.” he leaves open kisses against your neck and your jaw. you move your hips with juns hands a couple more times as you come undone. “feels so good angel.” he whispers into your neck as you slowly move through your high. “you’re the prettiest thing.” he smiles at you innocently.

“can you fuck me please j-jun?” you sigh as you start to climb off his lap.

“i’ll give you whatever you want my love.” he moves off the bed as you lay back. “you’re so perfect.” he moves your panties down your legs in a swift motion causing you to blush. “gonna make you feel so good. god i can’t believe this is all for me.” he kisses your thighs as he smiles softly at you. his hands snake to your thighs as spread your legs a little. you reach down to take off your white knee high socks that he got for you but he stops you.

“keep them on you look cute.” you smile and nod as you’re left in just your (his) loose t shirt and your socks. “you don’t even know how crazy you’re making me right now. i’m so hard.” all of that shyness that jun is usually full with is gone when you’re alone and now you’re under him? he’s surprised he hasn’t came in his pants yet. your look so beautiful to him.

“jun hurry- i’m impatient.” he leans down to kiss you quickly before pulling his sweatpants. he wasn’t wearing any underwear so he easily pulled them off his legs. he moved in between yours legs before looking up at you. “are you sure you want this?” you nod grabbing his arms. “i need you jun.” you smile to yourself as you look at your boyfriend. you mentally thank yourself for taking his shirt off him earlier.

“okay okay.” he smiles at you before lining up with you. you suck in a breath as you look down between you. you feel him slowly push in looking up at you. your face scrunches in pain as he stills. “you okay baby?” he kisses your face trying to comfort you. “y-yea just feels a little weird- keep going.” you sigh as you try to relax your body. he pushes in a little more still not bottoming out yet. you knew jun was big but him being inside you- he just felt so much bigger. you whine a little at the slow pace. jun pushes in fully finally bottoming out.

“tell me when baby. i don’t want to hurt you love.” you nod as your try to not focus on the pain. “j-jun i think you can move.” he kisses your lips again as he slowly starts to move his hips. “jun- feels- fuck so good.” you don’t even remember the pain you felt shortly before.

“f-fuck i know angel. you’re so t-tight.” he groans as you nod with his words. his thrusts are slow because he’s scared ro hurt you. “faster j-jun.” you moan as you spread your legs a little wider. “s-shit are you sure love?“ he looks down at you a little. “p-please.” his hips start to speed up making your body jolt more. he grabs the shirt you’re wearing pushing it up so he can see your chest.

“you’re so pretty- fuck you’re taking it so good.” he groans as he watches your tits bounce with his thrusts. “j-jun- oh my god-“ you throw your head back as his mouth attaches to one of your nipples. his thrusts are quick but he’s making sure to be gentle with you. “you look so pretty like this. i’m gonna cum- can i come on your chest? please.” you nod as you feel yourself get closer to coming.

“jun- r-right there. f-feels so good.” your eyes shut as you melt into the pleasure. you cum hard under your boyfriend with a loud moan. “j-jun-“ he kisses your cheek. “fuck- love i’m coming.” he leans down to pull you into another kiss as he pulls out of you. he strokes himself a couple more times before he’s coming all over your chest. you whine at the unfamiliar feeling. he smiles at you as he kisses you again. “are you okay angel?” he asks you as he grabs something to clean you with.

“j-jun i think- there’s blood.” you look at him in slight fear as you see red in between your legs. “angel- let me get a bath ready for us. are you okay?” he asks you as you cleans you as gentle as ever. “y-yea i don’t feel pain or anything just scared me.” he nods as he runs to the bathroom starting a bath for you. he quickly comes back to your side as he helps you into the bathroom. you admit to feeing a little sore.

“i’m so sorry angel- was i not being gentle enough?” he helps you take your remaining clothes. he helps you into the bath before he climbs in behind you. he rubs your back as you sigh into his touch. “jun- no you were perfect. it was all perfect i just scared myself.” you lean back into his chest as cups water over you.

“okay- let’s just relax for the rest of the night yea? i got you my love.” he smiles as he rubs your thighs softly. “jun- i love you.” you blurt out breaking the short silence. he looks at you shocked but his expression quickly changed to a very happy one. “i love you even more.” he kisses your head holding you close in his arms.

89 notes · View notes

givemearmstopraywith · 1 year

Note

not to be insane but do you have any readings about religious bdsm or things w those vibes? ily <3

hi yes i do! i just finished writing a thesis about this actually

Jeffrey J. Kripal, Roads of Excess, Palaces of Wisdom: Eroticism and Reflexivity in the Study of Mysticism. (University of Chicago Press, Chicago: 2001) + Jeffrey Kripal, Kali’s Child: The Mystical and Erotic in the Life and Teachings of Ramakrishna, (University of Chicago Press, Chicago: 1996) + kali's child is not about christianity but it is a fantastic work on eroticism and religion from the hindu perspective (however kripal is white and was trained as a priest, so bear that in mind)

Carter Heyward. Touching Our Strength: The Erotic as Power and the Love of God. (Harper & Row, 2009)

Jeremy Carrette, "Intense Exchange: Sadomasochism, Theology and the Politics of Late Capitalism." Theology and Sexuality, vol. 11, no. 1 (April 2005), pp. 11-30

Joseph Rogers, "Do Not Despise the Discipline of the Almighty: God as Leather Daddy and Reading Job through Althaus-Reid." Religions, vol. 8, no. 10.

Robert E. Shore-Goss, "Queer incarnational bedfellows" in Contemporary Theological Approaches to Sexuality (Routledge, New York: 2017) + all of robert shore-goss's work in general (he was the acting chaplain at avatar, the largest gay leather club in los angeles, for a number of years, and previously trained to be a priest- i adore him and his work)

Susannah Cornwall, "The future of sexuality debates in the Church: shared challenges and opportunities for theological ‘traditionalists’ and ‘revisionists’," Modern Believing vol. 62, no. 1 (January 2021) + cornwall has written extensively about intersex people in theology, i highly recommend her scholarship

Marcella Althaus-Reid, Indecent Theology: Theological Perversions in Sex, Gender and Politics. (Routledge, New York: 2000 + this might be my favourite book on this list and i recommend it to everyone, althaus-reid is an extraordinary thinker and her work in general is worth looking into

Margot Weiss, Techniques of Pleasure: BDSM and the Circuits of Sexuality. Duke University Press (London, 2011) is a book i recommend to anyone who is interested in or exploring bdsm, its a great starter book though not explicitly religious

Georges Bataille, Erotism: Death and Sensuality. Translated by Mary Dalwood. (City Lights Books, San Francisco: 1986) + bataille in general is a great philosopher, i also recommend Guilty trans. Bruce Boone

When Did We See You Naked? Jesus as a Victim of Sexual Abuse, ed. Jayme R. Reaves, David Tombs, and Rocío Figùeroa (SCM Press, London: 2021) + david tombs is a forerunner in reading the crucifixion as sexual abuse, approaching it from the methodological viewpoint of human rights abuses in latin america. this isn't about bdsm, but it is about sexuality in theology and it provides an incredibly necessary counterpoint to any discussion of power dynamics.

i'm missing a few titles but i'll look through my library and add them when i can.

edit: bolded my favourites, also heyward is the only book that to my knowledge is not available on zlib or annas-archive.

#replies

714 notes · View notes

joshleyson · 2 months

Text

a deeper well.

On this exact day 5 years ago, I was in this same location ensconced by the towering mountains with an overlooking view of a calm, seemingly waveless ocean in the pre-summer blistering heat in San Antonio, Zambales. This time I get to come back with my OG friends slash Zamboanga childhood homies, my friend Karen Blaise who's now based in Clark, Pampanga, and my CPA Lawyer friend Abegail from Dumaguete. After countless discussions of reunions and "travel goals" with some of the important people that we know, and 99% of those plans that never came to fruition, we decided that we would make this outdoor camp happen, and thank God we finally made it happen.

I felt like that 2D1N camping trip was surprisingly one of the longest weekends I had this year. Having to disconnect from our phones for a while because the camping site had no service was the perfect setting for us to reminisce about our adolescent and high school classic moments and teenage angst and how those unforgettable stories from our past (and sometimes politically incorrect moments lol) shaped the people we are today professionally and personally. We had a great time recounting all the crazy stories we had more than a decade ago, planned future travels, played frisbee in the middle of the night, and went hiking after sunrise breathing the cold pre-summer wind overlooking the almost CGI-looking mountains in Zambales. My belief of having this type of "disconnecting" was further reinforced from this trip that, as much as I want so much social interaction with a lot of people, I also like to be alone with the few people I truly trust, and that being alone doesn't have to be lonely and solitude is actually a good thing.

☾

Being on the road while listening to Kacey Musgrave's Deeper Well album (shoutout to Track 6 Sway as my favorite track off the record) revealed so many truths about my current situation and the things I'm dealing with in my personal life, both good and bad, and how I strive to find peace in accepting the pain and the lessons it has taught me, and that I've already arrived in my final destination on some certain aspects of my relationships especially with the people that I love, and that I need to move on.

My Saturn has returned.

February, 2024 | Nagsasa, San Antonio, Zambales

(Photos were shot using Fujifilm Simpleace 35 mm camera + FUJIFILM X-T100)

Stream Kacey Musgrave’s Deeper Well on Spotify and Apple Music.

Instagram/TikTok/Twitter: joshleyson

90 notes · View notes

cartierdreamx · 1 year

Text

𝕯𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖉 𝕿𝖔 𝕱𝖆𝖑𝖑 *2*

Hi my sweet ones <333, hope you’re well! Sorry for the little wait but I hope the wait is worth it sooo here’s chapter 2, not much to say but I may have teared up a bit writing this and now as I type this my heart still hasn’t recovered, so I apologise in advance hehe. Anyways, I hope you enjoy and if you do, please consider reblogging, following and commenting! Thank you all for your constant love and support! J <33

If you would like to be apart of a taglist so you know when the next chapter comes out, comment down below or let me know thru asks!! Also please make sure your tags are on, so I’m able to tag you 🫶🏽

Pairings: jenna ortega x fem! Reader

Warnings: angst cityyy, dark themes, swearing, mentions of weapons and violence and murder.

This fic is STRICTLY 18+, as it involves adult themes, minors DNI, you are responsible for your own social media intake, which includes reading entertainment which this fic falls under, so one last warning- this fic is 18+. Thank you!

*though my fics have real people, my fics are just for entertainment and far from reality*

FYI: JENNA IS G!P IN THIS FIC!!

The sting in your eyes was accompanied by an adorning number of buzzes from your phone, annoyed and slightly hangover, mainly from the lack of hydration, because you were no lightweight, you could promise any drinking buddy that, you shove your phone under your pillow, praying that would drown out the buzzing. But, of course, to no avail, whoever or whatever global state of emergency was blowing up your phone, the vibrations so strong, it was tectonic, the buzzes greeted your ears through the bamboo pillow wrapped in silk. Having had enough, you groan and answer a call from Sol.

“Sol, I swear to GOD, someone better be dying.” Your annoyance so clear, it auscultates her ears.

“Y/N! YOU ARE MY STAR GIRL, DYING? THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE EXACTLY.”

Though she can’t see you, confusion paints your face as you slowly sit up and wipe your face, allowing yourself to wipe away the fatigue, after stepping out of Ortega Towers, your little after party consisting of publishing an article, skincare and pyjamas was a blur, in fact, you were so out of it, you considered maybe you hallucinated ever hitting publish. However, the entire masquerade stuck with you, the stench of man who tried to feel up on you left the second you stepped outside for air, but what didn’t was the crown queen of San Francisco, her vanilla essence imprinted on you, so after a night of tossing in turning, no movement could remove her from you. You don’t like it though, and it was ironic, you rejected and blew her off the second you got the chance, but you couldn’t remove her from you. There were fires starting to spark all over your body and the more you deny them, the stronger they burn, funny enough, one grew in your groins. And as repetitive as you sound, you hate it. You hate her. You, hate Jenna?

“What’re you talking about?”

“Oh, don’t act so coy and humble!”

“Sol, I’m like, genuinely serious.” You let out a soft chuckle.

“YOUR ARTICLE, BABES!!, IT BLEW UP, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU, TELL ME EVERYTHING, WAIT NO, GET CHANGED, LET’S GET LUNCH BEFORE WE HEAD INTO WORK. LOVE YOU.”

Without even giving you a chance to breathe, blink or your heart to beat, you hear her hang up, guess you have lunch plans in about 2 hours. Now, about your article, you have no clue what you wrote, only that you couldn’t stop writing the second you sat down, nervousness rivers through your blood, breathing adjacent to your heart rate just thinking about what you wrote, what people think, hell, what Jenna thinks. Oh my God, is she going to kill me? You shake your head trying to rid of that negative thought, Jenna wasn’t like that, she’s above killing innocents, but are you innocent? Mouthing out the last line of your article; … whether it be by her heart, her touch, or her gun, anyone that knows the elusive Ms. Ortega is destined to fall. Your face meets your palm and you’re sure if Jenna or anyone in the family read this, you are sure to meet your maker.

“Wowwww, Jenna, she only knew you for a few hours, but she has every part of you right down to a T.”

Viv giggles as she scrolls through the article, enjoying every little bit of Jenna’s distraught, it was a rare occasion to see the mafia queen like this, and barely anyone could have her like this; a newfound superpower of yours.

“Shut it, Viv, it’s an okay article, and that’s me being generous.”

“I can’t imagine what she’d find out about you if she had stayed for longer.”

“I have no secrets.”

“You’re an idiot if you believe that.”

“Okay, fine, it’s a good article, y/n’s a feisty one.” Jenna finally caves in and shrugs.

“And plus, why do you care about some article?”

“I don’t.”

“Ah, but you do care about her.”

“Shut up, Viv, go make me a coffee.”

Laughter induced tears almost well up Viv’s eyes as she hears Jenna’s commands “oh, buddy she wrote you so good, down to your ego and arrogance, I’m not an assistant, babe, fix your attitude.”

Jenna rolls her eyes at Viv as she blows her a kiss and walks off to complete her long list of errands to complete and maybe some target training later in the day for her own indulgence. Bruce, whose body collected every will to keep silent as he knows he would be putting up with Jenna’s groggy and bitchy attitude all day if she did get riled up enough, but his mental strengths wasn’t as strong as his physicals.

“Bruce, I can see you smirking, knock it off.”

“Sorry, boss.” The 6’8ft, brunette man exclaims, though still smirking.

“You know, you make look and share the same name as Batman, but boy, you sure do lack the mental obedience, quit smirking!” Jenna pouts as she smacks his shoulder, “go scare our shareholders will you, I’ll meet you just before the meeting starts." Bruce chuckles as he leaves Jenna, alone with her thoughts.

And what are her thoughts? You. Rumination isn’t enough to describe how you flood her mind, how you fuel her hunger, how she hates how she doesn’t hate you. But you hate her? As two souls collide, their thoughts are evermore intertwined, and collide was definitely a word you could use to describe the thoughts both of you guys share. What gets her brain twisting the most and her throat closing in is the fact her heart is in denial about what it wants. Jenna would be caught dead before she made herself vulnerable before you made her vulnerable.

She had meetings the entire day but seeing that she’s the ones with guns and glory, no one dare to take her up on being tardy or last-minute cancellations, but despite her arrogant nature, she was respectful, and she was kind to those who deserved it, but even then, her guard was never down.

As her after lunch meeting finishes, she strides up and down the room, looking out into the city, only canvasing confusion on Viv and Bruce’s face.

“Cancel the rest of my meetings, please, Viv. Bruce, take the day off, do whatever you want, I’m heading out.”

Viv and Bruce comply and as Jenna starts heading for the door, Viv can’t help but tease “maybe this time, don’t be a dickhead to y/n, we like her.”

“No promises.”

Allowing the feminine urge to take over, you order a Caesar salad, a huge bowl of fries and a diet coke, such a perfect combo. That, with an extra side of chismosa with Sol, it’s a perfect lunch, however, the topic of gossip was you, you and Jenna that is.

“So, you didn’t hook up with her?” Sol, sighing, sounding deflated and defeated, for some reason she was really rooting for you two, she was so adamant about it.

“Sol, you have some sick delusion running through you, not healthy.” You tsk at her, “besides, I’m sure her sugar bear was enough company.”

Sol gasps so loud out of entertainment she grabs the attention of a few others having lunch. Not wanting people to eavesdrop, you give her a maternal ‘quiet down’ look.

“Oh, don’t give me that look, I’ve been waiting so long to hear this, tell me more.”

As Sol further indulges in your suffering, you slowly start wishing you two had lunch back at the office or your loft, you were sure other lunch goers used you as a source of entertainment.

Back at the office, a warm standing ovation greets you, with everyone’s eyes and smiles lighting up the second they saw you, maybe they are genuinely impressed, but maybe because they’re all about to get a huge payout from the rising popularity of your article, usually rival companies don’t boost each other’s articles, then it wouldn’t be competition, but yours struck the entire nation, the likes of Buzzfeed and TMZ bowed down to you, making articles about your piece of art. However, as much as it was a piece of art, there’s some part of you that felt guilty about pressing publish, maybe the world didn’t have to read about Jenna’s ego in writing, it could’ve just been left untold, you were the one to tell it. Much like Jenna, your day was filled with meetings, but distraction got the best of you, you barely focused and you couldn’t even tell the higher ups what you plan was next, but nevertheless they were highly impressed with you. So impressed, that there was talk about you moving up, career wise.

At the end of your day, exhaustion kisses your body, you were all Jenna’d out, if you had to speak about Jenna one more time, you were sure to implode, not that you had anything against the people asking you, it was a fair thing to be curious about, but, you wish that maybe this was a one-time thing, that she isn’t your shot to success, that she isn’t running your world, that maybe, you would never hear from her again.

“Hello, Ms. L/N.” A familiar voice speaks, the same person who was anonymous with you on that balcony looking out into the skyline was an arm’s reach. But this time, you waste no time in turning around. A big sigh showcases your defeat, so much for never hearing from her again.

“Miss me?” Jenna teases, definitely not missing her, a plan sparks in that sly mind of yours.

“Hey Sol, look I have someone here who is dying to meet the person behind Bayseyes.”

You see Sol’s jaw drop to the ground as her eyes relay the fact that Jenna Ortega is standing in her building to her brain. “No, I don’t miss you.” You chuckle at her, as you head out, if only you turned around to see Jenna’s reaction, it would have made everything all worth it. Though she was fed up with how well you could turn her down, and she’d let it slide, she was impressed at how well you thought on your feet.

As Jenna relays what happened to Viv and Bruce, she swears smoke spills out her ears as they belly laugh at her failure, their knees weak at every word that leaves Jenna’s mouth, Bruce had to hold Viv and himself to make sure they didn’t topple over.

“Whew, Jenna, she has played you in every way, I love this girl, when she coming back?” Viv teases.

“She’s never coming back.”

“Yeah, clearly, your attempts to reel her in is like fishing with a plastic rod.” Bruce adds, Viv’s face lighting up with pride.

“No, she’s not welcome here.”

“Mhmhm, the same way she’s not welcome in your heart.”

“No, I kicked her out.”

“AH HAH, so you admit she was in your heart.”

“WHAT, NO.”

“Boss…” Bruce cringes.

“WHATEVER, I’M LEAVING.”

The same record plays as she leaves the room, Bruce and Viv hysterically laughing trying to figure out the badass you are.

The next day, it was all the same, this time, Jenna waited for you outside the building with a black Porsche behind her as she leans. As it was all the same, the rejection was no different, blowing her off again as you strut the other way, making sure Jenna saw you roll your eyes at her, more rejection, more laughter and taunts from Viv and Bruce.

3rd times the charm is the saying, yet not everyone is proven to be successful, Jenna was one of them, it was irking her and getting under her skin that she couldn’t bag you, but no matter how much you frustrated her, she would never admit she wants you, she’d lay a blanket over her feelings for you, hiding it as she wants you within her reach so she, herself can make you bleed, the same way you did. But maybe she does want that, maybe all she wants is to see you fall, you don’t know who she is, but she seems to know who you are, well, what she could find out about you. But funny enough, her level of power doesn’t get her through to your hidden files. It was redacted, and not even you knew about them.

Number 4 took a different approach, this time she asks Sol for help, begging her to get you to meet her, and as much as Sol wants to, and trust your gut, she wants to, so bad, her loyalty to you was no match for Jenna, Sol turns Jenna away, and to add a cherry on top, you recruited help from a colleague of yours, he was very handsome, and a gentleman, so you two played pretend in front of Jenna’s eyes, arms linked with laughter filling the barely visible gap between the two of you. This fuelled the fire burning in her chest, a feeling she had never felt before, jealousy, and jealousy is a bitch. Jealousy caged Jenna, how could this feeling make the most powerful woman in America bend at her knees, how could you make the most powerful woman in America suffer with every inch of her. You, y/n, you are the indulgence of her soul but the starvation of her heart. Jenna’s first instinct was to hurt you, hurt him, how could he kiss the cheek of her woman? You’re not her woman. Murder was on the table for him, and torment was on yours. Anything to ease her suffering, but she couldn’t, she can’t, as much as she wants to, and as much as she could do it with ease, you breathing was more important.

Maybe day 5 would be different, you thought as the clock hands strike 6pm, and so you were right, instead of being greeted with the ever-greedy Ms. Ortega, you were met with Viv’s warm embrace and Bruce’s masculine yet warm stature.

“Jenna’s getting her right hands to do her dirty work?”

Viv and Bruce share a smile, “as much as we love to see her wallow in doubt and pity, and finally see her humbled, you’re killing her.”

“And how is that any different to when she has a gun to someone’s head?”

“We know, she deserves it, but, for us could you consider not torturing her?”

“Look, you guys seem so nice and a very lovely pair, but I’m only doing this because she won’t stop, and I’m sure doing this would be a lot more efficient than telling her to stop, and honestly, I’m surprised I’m even alive right now.”

“Y/N,” a solemn tone escapes Viv, “she’s not like that, you know.”

“I don’t, I don’t know, and like you heard me say before, how could I let her in if she’s everything I stand against. We are two opposing forces, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you want to know?” Bruce steps in.

“Guys, there are plenty of women out there who wants Jenna.”

“Yeah, but none of them are you.”

“And none of them will be me, I’ll delete the article if it’ll help, but I’m sure everyone has their copies, I’m sorry, I didn’t want it to be like this, I didn’t want to attend the ball.”

“No, it’s okay, don’t apologise, we’re sorry it had to be like this, but we’ll leave you be, we’ll talk to Jenna.”

“Thank you,” giving Viv a warm hug, possibly being the last hug, you’ll ever give her and Bruce a kiss on the cheek, more than you’ve given Jenna.

As you leave, Viv turns to Bruce “oh someone is so getting hurt at tonight’s mission.”

He chuckles, “you know how she copes.”

Finally, a chance to breathe and relax, you were out shopping, giving yourself a self-care day filled with everything you needed after the stressful week you just had. Sol wanted to accompany you, hoping to cheer you up, but you reassured her you’ll be fine and that this was something you had to do on your own. Walking past the dress boutiques, a dress similar to your masquerade dress catches your eyes and you can’t help but stop and admire it, but truthfully, the dress reminded you of her, of Jenna, you hate to admit it but there was some part of you that missed her adamant tries at winning you over.

“It’s pretty dress, but nothing compares to what you wore that night.” A voice you know all too well.

“Jenna…” A sigh of defeat leaves your lips.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry, I just had to see you, y/n.”

“Are you stalking me now?” Genuine question.

“No, no, I was out shopping, well, yes, I had to shop but I knew you frequent here so I took a chance.”

You let out a soft giggle, “I’m not even going to question how you know that but okay, you have me.”

“If I had you, we wouldn’t be here.”

You smile, not knowing what to say, your heart almost breaks for her, you’ve never seen her raw like this, almost as if you make her vulnerable.

“Look, I just want to say I’m sorry, for everything, for every arrogant remark, for every uncomfortable situation I put you in, for playing games with you, for sending Viv and Bruce to do my dirty work, for wanting you, y/n.”

“Jenna,” you grab her hand and caress it, hoping it relieves some of her pain, and maybe now your brain will believe she’s being genuine, and as much as your heart wanted to hold her, you know you can’t. “It takes a lot to apologise, so thank you.”

“It’s no problem, but uh, I know I shouldn’t, but I’d hate myself if I didn’t take this chance, maybe I could take you out to dinner? Apology dinner, on me.”

“Heh, that’s sweet of you to offer, but I’m sorry, I can’t, take Viv and Bruce out for me instead.” You smile at her, trying so hard not to tear up, feeling that choking feeling build up in your throat.

“Do you hate me?” That same question, she asked you that very first night.

“Again?”

“Y/N, tell me you hate me, it’ll make getting over you a whole lot easier, knowing you hate me is a better outcome than knowing you don’t, because if you don’t, my chance of you, my chance of us was out there, but my hands were not strong enough to grasp it, maybe I made the wrong deal with the universe, I don’t want to live a life where we could’ve been, just tell me that you hate me, please, y/n, please.”

If your heart didn’t break before, your heart definitely broke now, this was her, this was Jenna, raw and vulnerable, you wanted to speak, but it seems there was a stronger force out there that withheld you from speaking, instead, you lay your soft hand on her cheek, wiping away a lone tear, so close to Jenna’s lips you could feel her breathing. As she closes her eyes and leans in ever so slightly, you let go, leaving her with a maybe.

Too broken to look at you, Jenna offers “at least let me take you home, it’s getting dark, I know you didn’t drive here, and I know how dangerous the streets can be at this time.”

“I’ll be okay, Jen.”

Maybe it was the right choice, maybe your actions will have consequences.

Too lost in your own world, thinking about what happened between you and Jenna, you don’t notice the looming figure behind you, Jenna occupying you so deeply, you didn’t realise they’ve been following you since you left the mall. Lucky for you, walking past a closed shop with windows out the front, you’re able to see a dark figure behind you, you quickly decipher the figure being a man, but his face is covered so you don’t recognise him. As your heartbeat quickens, so do your steps, actively trying to lose him, you take a sharp turn into an alley, bad mistake. A breath of relief and fatigue exists your lungs as you turn and see he’s not behind you anymore. But.

“Think you could get away from me that easily?” The man appears in front of you, making you jump, but leaving you stuck in place, too scared to run. As you scan his face, your heart sinks, making the connection that this is the same man from the ball, the same one who was harassing you, but Jenna had him thrown out.

“Yeah, now that pretty face remembers me.”

“Please, just let me go, I’ll give you money, is that what you want?”

He scoffs, grabbing your wrist so tight, he may be cutting off circulation. “I don’t care about money, they pay me enough, what I want is you, I want you to hurt.” Suddenly, a sharp sting numbs your face as he slaps you with all his might, knocking you off your feet, you scream.

“That’s right, scream, bitch.” Kicking you in the abdomen, making you give into his wants, screaming more.

“Please.”

“No point in begging now.” He kicks twice more before picking you up by your shirt, you too much in pain to even look at him in the eyes, but the pain would keep going, he holds you up against the brick wall and starts going in for punches, left and right, your nose starts bleeding, you’re sure your ribs are broken, every punch, slap and kick was multiplied by 10, he kept on going, no matter how much you screamed, he didn’t listen.

“Where’s Jenna now? That’s right, she’s not here, can’t go running to her for help.” He was right, you can’t go running for help, you couldn’t, maybe you should’ve gone with her, maybe you should’ve never pushed her away, tears run down your face joining the splatters of your blood on the concrete ground. He starts thrashing you around, making sure every part of you is bloodied, broken, and bruised. “Scream her name, I want her to know you screamed for her, but she was nowhere to be found.”

You were sure you were going to pass out, instead flashing lights come by, there was hope, but that was short lived when you realise it was a large SUV instead of a police car.

“JAMESON, what do you think you’re doing.”

“Sir, I did what you told me.”

“I told you to scare her, not beat her to a pulp.”

“I got carried away.”

“Evidently, I ought to give you to Jenna for this.”

“But she’s your rival, sir?”

“Yeah, but you beat her girl up to a pulp, I don’t need her coming for me just yet, and plus, she’s the key to breaking down Jenna’s walls, making her vulnerable, seeing that you nearly killed the key, you nearly ruined it for us.”

“I apologise Mr. Marcello.”

“Mr. Marcello is my father and uncle, you know better.”

“I’m sorry, Gio.”

“Now, I gotta clean up your mess, hop in the car, killing you now would be a mercy compared to what Ms. Ortega would do to you, oh and drag her in the car.”

“Yes sir, are you going to give me to Jenna?”

“Considering it, if you don’t shut up, it’ll be a yes,” now turning to you, your barely functioning body with a tremendous number of cuts, scrapes, and bruises, “you Ms. L/N are fascinating, who are you and why do you have Ms. Ortega wrapped around your little finger.” Your eyes lacked the ability to focus, and your mind was fighting to stay awake, and you barely heard the conversation between the two men, so it made it hard to figure out who was with you, staying alive was the one thing on your mind. And in this moment, the scariest moment of your life, you doubted life would be in you, once he lays you on the seats, your fight with your mind was over, you pass out, not knowing where they were taking you.

As your eyes focus on what was in front of you, the familiar rooted buildings jumpstarted adrenaline, with indomitable human spirit and a bit of delusion, you somehow make it to the entrance of Ortega Towers. As you collapse the second you drag yourself through the doors, you hear Viv scream.

“Y/N?!! OH MY GOD.”

She rushes towards you cradling you in her arms, begging you to stay awake, to stay with her.

“YOU, GO GET JENNA NOW.” She yells at a young associate.

“But she said she doesn’t want to be disturbed.” He was scared to go up to Jenna and let her know of the situation, fair enough, she’s a scary woman and even scarier to the newbies.

“I DON’T CARE, I’LL TAKE THE HEAT, TELL HER Y/N IS HURT.” He rushes off with speed and not even 3 minutes later, Jenna came running down, you hear her yell something, but your body was on lockdown mode, nothing was working, nothing was focusing. All you know is that you’re in pain.

As Jenna takes over for Viv, so Viv can get medical help, she cradles you. “Hey, hey, y/n, stay with me, okay? Stay with me, please.” She strokes your hair, trying so hard to not let the tears fall, you couldn’t see her like this. No one can. Luckily, Bruce and his crew of soldiers was able to escort everyone out.

You want to, you want to keep your eyes open, but your body was winning this round, and if this is where you’ll die, at least you were in the arms of Jenna. With all your might, you muster up to speak once more.

“I hate you, Jenna.”

“I know.”

Thank you so much for your support <3 I hope you enjoyed! 🦦

hehe sorry about the angst, I think this is one of the most angstsiest shit i’ve ever written, and shout out to @lonelym00n cus she had to endure getting tortured as r and getting tortured as herself 😭 (she’s viv).

it is 5am where im at, im going to sleep, goodnight 🤝

TAGLIST: @somegaybae @omega-horus @lonelym00n @dksjskx @lazyturtle0-0 @jess-1-e @zaclewiss @lostgirl1415 @pitifulbinx @talialeih @amessbian @iamthewoe @aiakuma @user173781 @darkwolf1623 @dvrkhcld

#destined to fall #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x you #wednesday x reader #wednesday adams x reader #wednesday addams #tara carpenter x reader #vada cavell x reader #tara carpenter #jenna ortega x fem!reader #jenna ortega x female reader #jenna ortega x reader angst

223 notes · View notes

frankenfran · 3 months

Text

please. for the love of god. leave j-san and landlady out of all discourse forever. i do not think a japanese lady running a beloved cat blog should be exposed to everybody's fetid takes on AI art. we've lost the fucking plot. there's actual pressing issues here. need i remind you that j-san literally crinkled the paper door.

35 notes · View notes

samijami · 5 months

Text

Hey guys, thank you all for supporting me and being here for this year of 2023. Now, as it concludes, it's kind of surreal for me to be honest..time's kind of running by really fast and I still feel stuck in 2018 if I'm being honest. But thank you guys so much for being here, supporting my artwork and my stories, and making me feel like I have people who are there to listen to my insistent ramblings, and some of you are really good at listening and being really helpful to get some weight off my chest every once in a while. This year has been absolutely trash to me in real life, and as most of you can tell from how much I've been harassed and such, that even online it's been rough. But nevertheless, there were many of you who stuck with me the whole way and made me feel like I wasn't alone, and maybe not everyone hated me.

Even during a year where I felt like I might just give up and maybe even leave for good. All of you guys are the reason I'm still here, and I have hope for it to continue being that way.

To my New Year's Resolution, never give up; and do your fucking comic and artwork until you feel you want to have it come to a close. Not when anyone else tells you it should.

But never press yourself too hard. <3

Here's where I will mention everyone here this year that I can remember who have been here for me and who I appreciate--whether if you've been my friend, interacted with me, or simply been an inspiration regarding artworks or creations--I appreciate everyone here, plus all of my followers and everyone who has ever shown me a sprinkle of support. I love you guys so much, and here's to so much more to come in 2024. (I will start my comic, I swear to God. The official Kaos Reality Discord is almost ready to be publicised).

I will reblog with more mentions, since Tumblr isnt letting me put you guys all right here. Sorry if I forget some people, I'm trying (and my father is limiting my time to do this-)

@wishtale-blogs @esotericisnotdead @elsiegracedeertoon @your-bigender-big-brother @i-am-a-fish @itsxroxannex @oatsynalliums @a-v-j @slylock-syl @dreemurr-skelememer @fandomsoda @g-r-e-e-t-i-n-g-s @kawaii-fresh-sans @loverofpiggies @zu-is-here @comyet @virgilsteve @blizzysnowolf @blunt-force-therapy @bloodrune1310 @neon-draws-sometimes @metakazkz @crazygemspinz @lilacthebitch @aamon1010 @teecupofcement @lilacthebitch2 @feline-felon @brooke2valley @wowa-bublord @kaydeesthings @lumi-procrastinate @kazerflame @thestudsystem @bogos-bint3d @auditect @remi-void @yo4sblog @sleepy-artist27 @groovygladiatorsheep @allofmycrystalsarequartzs @poorpastel-pain @terrestrialextraterrestrial @sophietheskelly @cheesy-breadsticks @rejector-of-mortal-flesh @eclipse-needs-sleep @godofautism @nick-the-sxftie @x0l0tl99

32 notes · View notes

bteezxyewriter12 · 5 months

Text

Closer to You

Pairing- Seonghwa x Named Reader

Word count- 4.8k

Includes- Slight angst, oral, pussy eating, cum eating, face riding, tongue riding, squirting, cock riding, missionary, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝ATEEZ Masterlist 📝Seonghwa Masterlist

J POV

"Yes fuck", I moan, grinding my pussy on Seonghwa's face, his mouth sucking on my clit hard and fast

I look down at him, his eyes closed, him looking like he's in heaven

I never thought I'd find myself in this position

But my best friend is hard up, asking me to ride his face and I threw caution to the wind

He sat against my couch on the floor, took off my pants and panties, tilted his head back on the cushion and I sat on his face, his tongue immediately moving

His hands on my thighs, fingers digging in my skin as he uses that fucking mouth to suck on my clit like I've never been sucked on before

I had no clue how skillful Seonghwa is at oral but he's hands down the best I've experienced

"Mmm", he whimpers, slurping all over my clit, "Fuck yes. Cream my face jagi. Drown me"

I am indeed drenching his face as I've never been this wet before

Never been this horny before

I move my hand in his hair, keeping his head right where I want him

His mouth moves even faster, driving me so close

"Yes fuck baby", I cry, right there, "Just like that Hwa, fuck suck my clit just like that"

His next suck throws me over the edge, my orgasm hitting me so hard, intense pleasure ripping right through me

"Seonghwa! Yes!", I cry, his mouth not stopping, sucking me through the bliss, "Oh god, fuck"

As soon as my orgasm is over, I don't get a break, Seonghwa now using his tongue to play with my clit, three of his fingers sliding into my cunt from behind

"Ffff...fff", I trail off as his fingers start pumping into me, driving right into my spot, "Yes, yes, yes"

He uses the tip of his tongue to rapidly lick my clit as he moves his fingers

He moans against my clit, "Fuck, love your swollen throbbing clit jagi. Making me so fucking hard. Don't want this throbbing clit out of my mouth"

"Ddd ..don't worry", I murmur, "You can have it baby. Don't stop"

"Good jagi" he hums, tongue rolling over my clit again and again

"Fuck Hwa, you're fucking mouth, your tongue is so fucking amazing", I praise him as I clench down on his fingers, "Fuck so good at oral"

"I have an oral fixation and love eating pussy.", he answers, "Its my favorite"

Yeah well it pays off

And I'm slightly jealous that other girls have felt this before I have

"You're pussy is my favorite though", he says, his fingers slipping in and out of me so pleasurably, "Pretty swollen clit, tight wet hole, yummy sweet cum. I think I need to eat you out more often"

After this experience, that will not be a problem

His mouth moves around my clit again, this time softly suckling, the gentle pulls making shivers run up my spine

"You can Hwa", I promise

"Yeah?", he asks, between sucks

"Yes. As long as my pussy is the only one you eat"

I definitely don't want to catch anything if he goes down on as many girls as it seems

"Mmm hmm", he moans, the vibrations of his voice adding to the pleasure, "Yeah jagi. You're pussy can be my only one. As long as you're ok with me eating your cunt everyday"

I'm more than fine with that

"Yes Hwa"

He groans into my clit, switching between gentle sucks and licks, a contrast to how hard his fingers are fucking me

It's fucking mind blowing

"Ggg..gonna squirt", I warn him, with the way he's working my spot and my clit simultaneously

"Your...your pussy squirts?", he asks in surprise

"Yyy..yes. If you...do everything right"

"And I'm doing everything right?"

"Yes", I gasp

He's doing more than everything right

He's giving me so much bliss that I've never felt before

Pleasure that other guys try to give me and fail, he's doing so easily

"Fuck, squirt in my mouth", he whines, his lips attaching back to my clit

All he does is suck once and I'm gone

"Fuck Seonghwa!", I cry, my orgasm crashing over me, unbelievable pleasure in every part of my body

His fingers pull out as he moves me over his mouth, my pussy squirting right into it

His fingers move to my clit rubbing, keeping me in pleasure as he moans and I can hear him swallowing over and over

"Mmm", he groans, his tongue licking my hole as I continue to squirt

Fuck, he's so hot

His tongue continues to fuck into me when my orgasm finishes, wiggling in as far as it can go, my cunt clenching on as much of his tongue as I can

"Cream my tongue jagi", he begs, "Ride my tongue and cum all over it. Use my tongue to get off"

With that, he slips his tongue inside, holding it in my pussy

Jesus Christ, he's kinky

And it's such a turn on

I start moving, bouncing on his tongue as much as I can

He moans so erotically, his fingers gripping my thighs so fucking hard, I know he's leaving bruises

I moan like a slut, dropping my hips down faster and faster, my pussy leaking like a fucking waterfall, all over my thighs and definitely all over his face

It completely surprises me how much he loves this

Like I've had guys give me oral because they felt they have to

But Seonghwa...it seems like he lives for it, getting pleasure out of it

He switches things around, holding me in place with one arm around me and now thrusting his tongue into me, still as pleasure filled as ever

"After you cream my tongue, sit on my cock please", he begs, his tongue fucking into my hole as he speaks, "Use me. Wanna be your fuck toy"

What the fuck?

"You want..."

"Want you to fuck me", he confirms, "Please baby. I need to know how you feel around my cock. I promise my cock is just as good as my tongue"

I look down behind me, shocked to see his cock out, standing painfully erect, cum crying from the tip, his hand around his base

But he's not jerking himself off

Just holding his cock

When did he take his pants and boxers off

Christ, I'm in so much bliss I didn't even notice it

"Please"

"Mmm Hwa, yes", I agree, the sight of his long thick cock burned in my head

I want to sit on it right fucking now

"Yes, fuck" he murmurs, his tongue moving even faster into my hole

"Fuck Hwa", I whimper, feeling my orgasm rush towards me

I hold on to the couch cushions as I cum, his tongue thrusting inside and staying, letting me ride out the massive pleasure

He swallows as I cum in his mouth, his tongue never leaving me as I clench around it blissfully

Only when I finish does he pull it out, then presses a soft kiss to my pussy lips

I move my legs immediately, getting in his lap, sinking right onto his cock that's he's holding up for me

"Of fuck", I cry as I slip down his length inch by inch, his thickness stretching me wide around him

"Jagi, fuck", he pants, his eyes on my pussy taking him, "So pretty"

Grabbing and holding onto his black tank top, I move my hips as I take him, wiggling down his fat cock, my pussy greedily sucking him in

Each inch feels phenomenal, my pussy getting even more drenched

I can't believe it feels this good just getting him in

I finally bottom him out, adjusting my legs so it's like I'm squatting on him which will make it easier to ride him, his cock throbbing inside me

I move my gaze to his, immediately blushing as I take him in

His face is glistening in my juice and cum, as is his neck and chest

His hair is a mess, his eyes fucked out, his mouth slightly open, his tongue lolling out from the side of his mouth

God, he looks so fucking ethereal even though he's a mess

His eyes move to mine, softly smiling, his hands moving from my waist up my body, pushing my shirt up

I let him take it off, my bra following, then I slide his tank top up and off

And I'm hit with Seonghwa I see on stage, his muscular arms and chest and abs on display for me

I don't even realize I'm running my fingers on his chest until he moans softly

My gaze moves back to him, as he bites his lip, his hands cupping my boobs

He squeezes so gently, his thumbs running across my already hard nipples

"Fuck", I whimper in pleasure, my cunt clenching around him hard

He groans, his eyes closing as his head tilts back

"Please", he whimpers

Holding onto his upper arms, I slide up his cock, shivering as I feel him drag through me, every ridge of his cock felt so acutely

"Oh my fucking god", he moans, his hand tightening around my boobs, "Tight. So Tight"

I drop back down, bottoming him out, his cock head hitting my spot, sending stars blasting in my vision

I move again and again, craving to feel him move in my cunt

God, he fits inside me perfectly with no room to spare, touching all the right places, filling me so fucking well

I never had a cock this good before

Like he was made for me

"Is this what you want?", I breathe, bouncing on his cock, pleasure running up my spine, "Want me creaming your cock like I creamed your mouth?"

"Yes", he whines, the pleasure on his face so beautiful

"Well you're lucky I like your fat cock", I tell him, "Nice and hard, so easy to ride. Might have to use your cock more often"

"Yes", he pants, lifting his head, his dazed gaze on me, "Use me everyday"

I smirk, as sweat fills my hair, running down my body, fucking him harder with every bounce

"That what you want?"

"Yes", he confirms, his eyes moving down to my pussy taking him, "Want your tiny tight pussy wrapped around me everyday. Creaming my cock just like this. Coming on me over and over"

"You don't want another pussy?", I ask, running my fingers in his long black hair, trying to gauge how serious he is

Because if he is, I'd definitely fuck him everyday

His eyes snap to mine, shaking his head

"No. I want your pussy", he says clearly, "You. I want you"

I feel my face heat up as I shyly say, "Ok"

He nods, his hands gripping my hips, his gaze on me

Not his cock being pumped into me, not my boobs, not closed

His eyes are looking directly into mine and I can't move mine away

I move my arms around his neck, clenching on his dick every time he slides in, grinding down on his head once it's against my spot

"Really like the way you move on me", he says, his fingers softly trailing up my back, "So pretty. So mesmerizing. You're so beautiful"

He has got to be kidding

I'm sweaty and breathing hard, I have to look like a mess

While he...yeah he looks like a mess too but he's stunning no matter what

"You are jagi", he says, making me blush hard

"Thanks Hwa. You're gorgeous too", I tell him, "So hot"

Her smirks, sending my heart into overdrive, "Not as much as you jagi. Never had someone so beautiful fuck me before"

I break eye contact, looking down

Ok, I know he's lying about that

He's slept with other idols and they are one thousand percent more beautiful than me

His hand moves to my chin, lifting my head, my eyes back on his

"I'm not lying Jo. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen jagi. I swear"

I'm so surprised and I don't know what to do with that

My best friend is telling me this

It's something you tell a girlfriend, not me

He just smiles and I give him a small one back, riding him harder, trying to mask how thrown I'm feeling

And trying to hide how I feel about him

How I always felt about him

But that doesn't matter

That's not what's happening here

What's happening is I'm just fucking him because he's horny and I was here and available

He doesn't want me like I want him

And it's fine

I'm ok with this being one time

I figure all the things he says are in the moment things and nothing more

It's fine, I can pretend for a little while

I move my legs faster, rocking on his perfect cock, feeling him fill me over and over

I clench him hard, making him moan in pleasure

"Fuck, need you to cum on me", he whines, his gaze at last moving to my pussy fucking him, "God, fuck, so much cream jagi. Making my cock so pretty in your mess"

"Mm hmm", I murmur, "Gonna make a bigger mess all over your cock"

"Go ahead baby. You want it. I feel your cunt pulsing so hard. Like you did on my tongue", he urges, "You wanna cum around my cock so badly"

I nod

I do

So fucking much

"You wanna cream my fat cock, rub your little spot on my cock head, clenching my cock over and over. Don't you?"

"Yes!", I yell, the pleasure taking over

"Then cum on my dick", he growls and his voice sets me off

I slam down, ecstacy tidal waving over me as I cum the hardest I have today

"Oh my fucking god!", he yells, "Fuck so good. So fucking good"

I can't think, I can only feel as I clench on his stiff as a rock throbbing cock, my hand pulling his hair so hard his head is tilted back

His nails dig into my back as he holds me up, both of us screaming in pleasure

It's so much, my brain getting foggy as I come down from my orgasm

I clench his cock, feeling that he's still hard and I wonder if he came or not

It sounded like he did

I open my eyes I didn't know I closed, letting go of his hair

He looks at me and I'm shocked to see tears in his eyes as he pants for breath

"Did you cum?", I ask

He shakes his head, "Nnn..no. I forced it back. It...it felt so fucking good. I...I want more"

I'm shocked at his words

He held back?

"Please?", he asks

I nod, "Need you to fuck me this time Hwa. Need you more"

He nods, pulling me against him, holding me as he stands up

He puts me on the couch on my back, spreading my legs wide open

"Fuck, so much cream", he murmurs, his head ducking down

I feel his tongue on me as he licks my pussy, moaning against me

He cleans my pussy, then sits up on his knees, his eyes running along my body

"Baby's so sweaty", he says

Yeah I am but so is he

It's glistening on his body, his muscles shiny with it, his hair completely drenched

He leans down, his tongue on my lower stomach and he drags it up my body slowly, licking me

Over my belly button, between my boobs, along my chest and up my neck

"So fucking good baby", he murmurs in my ear, his tongue licking my neck again, "God, everything on you tastes so fucking good"

I'm completely blown away

I actually have no thoughts in my head which is surprising as I always have a comeback for something

But now?

I got nothing

He moves my legs around his waist as he sits up, his cock head pushing into my cunt again

My pussy happily takes him, once again tugging him inside as he slips in

"God, this pussy loves my cock", he murmurs, starting to thrust lighting, pleasure humming in my body, "Sucking me in, eating my cock perfectly"

With each stroke, he moves harder, his head smashing my spot, sending stars in my vision again

His hands grip my waist hard as he fucks me slow but so fucking deeply, making sure his entire length in engulfed in my pussy

I feel him in my stomach, the pleasure fucking insane and I don't want him to stop

I watch him fuck me, his hands holding onto me so tight, the veins in his arms are popping

His chest muscles move under his perfect skin, his abs so tight as he pounds into me, concentration on his face, sweat running down from his hair, his tongue poking out of his mouth, his eyes watching my hole take him

And in this second, I'm so jealous of the girl who he's gonna choose to be with

Not only does she get a sweet, loving, supportive man but she gets the wild sex side of him too

I hate her, whoever she is

His gaze lifts, meeting mine, a smirk on his face, making my heart pound

"Love watching this pussy take my cock. Like you can't get enough"

"I can't", I tell him honestly

"You don't have to worry jagi. I'm yours remember? You can have me everyday"

It hurts because it's not true but I just smile and nod

He impales me on his dick over and over, the stimulation to my spot driving me closer and closer to coming

"Www..where should I cum?", he asks, his breathing getting labored, as he plunges his cock in so deep

"Finish inside me", I tell him, wanting to feel his cum fill me

"Fuck yes", he murmurs, "Thank you"

I don't say anything, figuring it was just something he said in relief

I squeeze his cock so hard, my cunt fluttering around him uncontrollably, so close

"Cum for me jagi", he murmurs, "Cum for my cock"

He thrusts again and I snap, falling over the edge, my mind blanking as ecstasy pounds into me and I squirt all over his cock

"Seonghwa!", I scream at the top of my lungs, feeling like I'm fucking floating as pleasure wracks my shaking body, "Seonghwa! Seonghwa!"

It's so much, so intense that tears are falling down my face from how fucking good it feels

"Oh fuck", he cries, moving on top of me as he sheathes his entire cock inside me

His hand behind my head, pulling up to him, his lips crashing into mine in a searing mind altering kiss

I feel his cock throb then his warm cum fills me just as his tongue slips inside my mouth, playing with mine

I throw my arms around his neck, kissing him back just as passionately, my entire world changing in that one kiss

I feel like I'm on top of the world, my head dizzy, like I'm where I belong

With Seonghwa

He whimpers my name, his mouth right back against mine, kissing me stupid as we come together and ride out the pleasure

As the bliss fades, he doesn't stop kissing me

He pulls out, moving next to me, both of us instinctively turning toward each other

His arms wrap around me, pulling me flush against his skin, my arms moving around his neck, our legs tangling together

He keeps kissing me and I completely melt into him, gladly taking his kisses for as long as he wants to give them to me

I'll never have his kisses again so I happily fall into him

--------------------------------

"Ugh", I moan, my eyes opening, my body so sore

I need to get up and stretch or something

I try to sit up but there's something on top of me, holding me down

I hear a light snoring as I look down, shock taking over as I see Seonghwa asleep, half on top of me

Everything that happened earlier rushes back and I realize that after we kissed for who knows how long, we fell asleep

He's cuddled against my chest, his head on my boob, his arm tightly wrapped around me, my arm around him too

His body is on top of my right side, which is why I can't get up

But it's Seonghwa and I don't care

I turn my body back to him, admiring how completely gorgeous he is

He's literally perfect

I moved my fingers in his hair, slowly running them in the soft silky strands

My god, I'm so in love with this man

I would give anything for him to see me the way I see him

To have his love

To have him kiss me like he did before...to be able to get them all the time....I can't even imagine that

But it'll never happen

He'll find someone he loves and I'll continue to be his best friend

As long as he's happy, I'm ok

I keep playing with his hair for awhile, not sleepy but not willing to wake him up just yet

I just don't want him to leave and that's what'll happen when he wakes up

Unfortunately for me, I don't have any luck and he starts moving within the next minute

My hand freezes in his hair as I panic and wonder if I should pretend to be asleep

His eyes open before I can decide, lifting and focusing on me

Shit

But he smiles so widely and I'm in utter shock

"Baby", he says softly, confusing me even more

I mean yeah he called me baby before but it was during sex

I don't even know if he realized what he said

I start pulling my hand out of his hair but he grabs my hand, turning it towards him and softly kissing my palm, his lips sending sparks flying up my arm

He moves, lifting his head and I expect he's gonna get up and this is over

I'm startled when his hand cups my cheek, his lips pressing against mine in the sweetest kiss I think I've ever had in my life

I fall into him, moving my arms around his neck, holding him tightly

I'm just in total heaven

His lips against mine, his tongue against mine, his body against mine

I never want this to end

Of course it has to but at least it lasts a few minutes

He pulls away, looking at me with a look in his eyes I can't place

But he's smiling softly

His fingers caress my face gently, my skin on fire from his touch

"I love you", he says

Complete shock enters my body

And fear that he's joking

"Are...are you kidding?", I ask

His eyebrow raises, "No"

There's no way....he has to mean it in another way

"You mean like a friend?"

He sits up and I do as well

"No Jo. Not like a friend", he says, anxiety now on his face, "I....I'm in love with you"

It's like my brain and heart won't believe it

It's just something I wanted for so long but good things like this don't happen to me

It's too good to be true

"Are you sure?"

He looks away, tension in his body, "Yeah Jo. I know how I feel. What do you think everything we did was?"

Is he kidding?

"Uh just sex?", I say, "I mean you have sex with lots of girls...I thought I was just...convenient because you were horny and I was here"

He looks at me with a look of shock on his face

"I...I didn't do this with you just because I was horny", he says quietly, "If I just wanted sex I could of called any of the fuck buddies in my phone"

I mean yes, but again I was right here so why would he call anyone when I'm more than willing to give it to him?

"I mean yes I was horny but I was horny for you. Just you. I wanted you. I've wanted you for so long"

So long?

Am I that oblivious?

"You never notice Jo but I swear when you're in the room, I can't stop looking at you. I can't stop wanting to be around you. I think about you all the time it drives me crazy"

My mouth drops in complete shock

I had no idea

"You don't notice me. Not like that and I just wish you would", he continues, "I want your arms around my neck everyday, your lips on mine everyday. I want your body against mine, your pussy around my dick, your cream all over me. I want to see you everyday. Spend time with you everyday. Hold your hand every day. Cuddle you everyday. I want you in my arms every night"

I take in all his words, slowly processing them

And getting more and more surprised and excited with each word that sinks in

"I want to love you everyday", he whispers, his eyes moving to mine, a look so vulnerable in his eyes, "And I want you to love me everyday"

I'm speechless but I don't need to talk

Moving my hand behind his head, I pull him to me, my lips crashing against his

His arms move around me immediately, pulling me against him, kissing me back just as passionately

As I kiss him, I just realized that I can have this all the time now

I can get his amazing, breathtaking kisses every day

I'm so fucking lucky

When we break away, he looks at me with hope in his eyes

"I love you Seonghwa", I finally confess, "And not like a friend. I'm in love with you too"

A gorgeous smile breaks on his face, taking my breath away

"Yeah?"

I nod, "Yeah. I want everything you want. I want to be in your arms every night. Cuddling with you Hwa. You have no clue how many times I imagined it"

"I know jagi", he says, "If it's as many times as I imagined it, I know"

Now I know that

"You were wrong about one thing Hwa. I always noticed you. Always. You are always on my mind too, you are the only one I've ever wanted", I tell him, looking lovingly at him, "I love you more than anything Hwa and I promise I'm going to love you every day"

He nods, "I promise I'll love you everyday Jo. It's all I've wanted to do for a long time"

"You're mine Hwa", I smile, "Finally"

He laughs, "I always was baby"

"Now I know", I giggle

"Yeah. And you're finally mine"

"I always was", I repeat to him

"Now I know", he answers, then kisses me again

And I'm on cloud nine

"Do you want to go out to eat?", he asks, after the kiss ends, "On a date?"

"I want to Hwannie", I tell him, "But I don't want you to get in trouble with ATINYs and your managers if we're seen in public"

He's now my boyfriend but he's still an idol

He still has rules to follow

"I don't care baby", he says, holding my hand, "I finally have you, I'm not hiding you"

"I don't want you to get in trouble Hwannie"

I don't want to be the cause of a problem or ATINYs being mad at him and pulling their support for ATEEZ

That's not fair to him

He and the guys have worked so hard to get there they are

"Baby", he says, his eyes on mine, "Let me worry about it ok? I promise it's ok"

"Are you sure?", I ask hesitantly

"One hundred percent"

"Alright", I give in

"Good baby", he smiles, "Let's get dressed ok"

"But....I'm just wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt"

"So am I jagi. We can have a casual date tonight. Tomorrow we can be fancy"

"Tomorrow?", I ask, excitedly as we get up to get dressed

"Of course baby. I was telling the truth about wanting to see you everyday"

I smile widely as I pull my shirt over my body, so fucking happy

He comes over to me after we're dressed, "So I was thinking, we go get food now, then go to your apartment where I can fuck you hard again, then make love to you"

I blush, that sounding so fucking perfect

"Then I can hold you all night and spend all day with you tomorrow. And at night we can get fancy and go out"

Oh god, yes please

"Is that something you wanna do?", he asks shyly for some reason

"Absolutely baby", I answer, "It sounds perfect"

"Great jagi", he smiles, "I love you"

"I love you Hwa"

He leans down, pressing a soft kiss to my lips

Then he takes my hand and me and my boyfriend leave the dorm to start our amazing long date

#seonghwa smut #park seonghwa smut #ateez seonghwa smut #park seonghwa fanfic #ateez seonghwa fanfic #seonghwa fanfic #ateez fanfic #ateez smut

203 notes · View notes

diakaoniii · 2 years

Text

— kanato sakamaki

“Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!! HOW DARE YOU BETRAY ME!? ANSWER ME! YOU'RE MİNE AND ONLY MİNE DOLL! GOT IT!? IF YOU REALLY LOVE ME, WHY LET HIM SUCK YOUR BLOOD THEN!? SPEAK! NOW! Oİ! WHY ARE YOU STİLL SİLENT? I TOLD YOU TO ANSWER ME!? ”

You were so terrified that you were shaking all over your body. Your face was coated in a delicate layer of bruises. Your lips were becoming bloody from the bleeding that was coming from your nose. It crushed his heart to think that your girlfriend, who you cared so deeply about, was the one who had done all of this to you. Crying and sniffling could be heard outside the room. Even the items that he had given to you as a gift were destroyed by him. He didn't even let you explain yourself. You felt love for him, and you promised yourself that you would never cheat on him.

You always loved him.

You are just a human girl, nothing more. You were no match for a vampire's incredible physical prowess. Because of this, you were unable to stop Ayato from drinking your blood regardless of how much you protested.

So why did he put the blame on you? It was not your fault that you lacked physical strength.

You couldn't even get the courage to utter a word at this moment. He was glaring at you with rage, and it only took one careless statement from you to bring about your own demise.

At long last, you summoned all of your strength, and with weeping eyes and a terrified expression, you faced him head-on. You began talking in a trembling voice hoping he would remain calm and listen to what you had to say.

" Kanato-San… I r-really a-apologize. I swear to the G-god that I did not c-commit deceive to y-you. I-I never a-act in such a manner. I… I l-love you s-so much… I j-just did n-not have the ability to f-fight ag-gainst him. I a-ask that you k-kindly pardon me. Stop inflicting pain on me a-already!

You were crying even louder than previously while speaking these words. You cannot control your sobbing. You did it gently, but eventually you slid your head down between your legs. Your frail body was quivering in response to the terrifying thought. Will he have mercy on you? Despite the fact that it is not your responsibility…

Your sobs had the whole space completely taken up. Kanato was quiet. Silent, worries you even more. You gently raised your head, the tears in your eyes causing them to swell up. You were just sniffling a little. When he glanced at you, his eyes were lifeless, but he had a malicious smile on his face.

“Fufufu~ y/n-san. You look adorable even while you're shaking with fear.”

Your eyes grew wider in response to the threat. You felt even more uneasy in the presence of his soulless gaze and savage smirk. You jerked your head to the side as soon as you saw that he was steadily lowering himself to your level. Would he hit you one more time? Simply to gauge your level of fear, okay?

He sneered as he licked your tears as he had a firm grip on your chin and tilted your head towards him. Your tears, your sorrow, your sobbing merely delighted him.

“Fufu… you are so cute when you are cry, y/n-san.”

He stepped back, surprising you with his generosity, and stared at your terrified face while grinning in a way that made you feel sick to your stomach. His initially delighted visage gradually transformed into a lifeless, expressionless mask. The emotionless manner in which he spoke to you only heightened the terror you were already experiencing.

“Y/n-san. I will slaughter them all because they had the audacity to touch what is mine, Fufu, I will slaughter them all. As for you... perhaps I should amputate your limbs! In order for me to have total control over you. You won't be able to go anywhere without me. You will never deceive me. You cannot give your blood to anyone but me. You can't leave me~! The most essential thing of all, you will literally you will be my most precious doll. ”

Kanato became even more pleased when he saw your terror in your eyes. He gripped your cheeks with both hands, and drew you closer to his face.

“Fufu~ Do not be concerned, my doll. I will make sure that you do not feel pain. I promise I will look out for you at all times. Since you are my doll and I am your owner. Say, y/n-san~. Isn't that just the epitome of romance? Fufufu~.”

294 notes · View notes

bratshaws · 10 months

Text

through the hourglass 203. brb x oc

a/n: i--- love them so much, where's that screaming girl reaction pic(comments and reblogs are super welcome and encouraged!)

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: mentions of surgery

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

/164/165/166/167/168/169/170/171/172/173/174/175/176/177/178/179/180/181/182/183/184/185/186/187/188/189/190/191/192/193/194/195/196/197/198/199/200/201/202

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @novastories @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix @lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @booklover2sblog @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes @taytaylala12

@caitsymichelle13 @becks-things @caatheeriinee07 @fanboyswhore9 @jesfreedark @katiemcrae @lilmonstrjedi @hobiismyhopeu @teacupsandtopgun @insominac23 @gh0stsgoodgirl @mygyn @chavivaelisheva @kmc1989

Day four in the hospital and she was a mix of emotions. Yeah she was going home and yeah she was good enough to…but she didn’t want to leave the twins there. Rooster waited for her when she looked back at the hospital doors, chewing her lower lip, “Gorgeous.”

“I know.”

“They’ll be okay.”

She clenches her bag with both hands, then exhales, “...I know.” she moves forward but her head cranes back towards the hospital, Rooster has one of his hands on her lower back,guiding her to the Bronco, ‘They’ll let us know…of anything.”

“I know.” and he opens the door for her, “We’ll visit them again,yeah?’ Beatrice looks back at him finally, with a little smile on her face followed by a nod and finally hops inside the car. Nicole’s happy little ‘mama!’ was heard by Rooster as he walked around to the driver’s side.

He understands Beatrice’s hesitation, he was there with her every time they went to the NICU and checked on the twins. It was a constricting feeling, he had to admit, because he too wanted to take them home. Having children was something, it changes your whole perspective on what’s important and what’s not and right now he desires to have those tiny beings home to stay with the slightly larger tiny being that’s currently on the back seat.

On the bright side, Nicole’s personality made Beatrice smile as soon as he got in. Their oldest, God feels crazy to think Nicole is their oldest daughter, was currently telling Beatrice in her very own words what happened before they got to the hospital. She was also shaking her giraffe, “Is that new?’ Beatrice asks with a small smile, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her with that.”

“I got it for her when we were shopping for the twins’ nursery.” he smiles, turning the engine on and driving away from the hospital. It still hurt both of them but it was what they could do right now, nothing more,nothing less, “And it was better than the 200 piece jet fighter that she wanted.”

“It’s cute.” Beatrice says, looking back at Nicole and reaching for her little hand with one of hers, “I like it,do you like your new friend Nikki?” Nicole kept babbling and shaking her stuffed giraffe as Beatrice kept her hand back but torso forward, sighing on her seat.

“You okay?”

“I am…kinda tired.” she laughs weakly, “Weird considering I spent the whole week lying down and yet I feel exhausted.” her eyes moved to the outside that was rushed by them when he drove both back home, seeing the environment change from the hospital’s walls to the usual San Diego was a bit of a relief.

Rooster hummed, gently caressing her thigh as he drove them away, “I know, did the doctors say if you need to take anything?”

Beatrice shook her head, her expression a bit distant as she keeps her eyes on the outside. "No, they didn't give me any specific medications," she replied, "just the usual recommendations for postpartum care and rest." she ends with a shrug

Rooster nodded, his grip on the steering wheel steady. "Alright, well, we'll make sure you rest as much as you can once we're back home," he said firmly. "I'll take care of everything, you just focus on recovering and spending time with Nicole."

Beatrice smiled appreciatively, her hand still holding onto Nicole's. "Thank you, Roos," she said softly. "I don't know what I would do without you."

He glanced at her with a warm smile. "You'll never have to find out, because I'll always be here for you," he replied, his voice filled with sincerity.

“Cheesy~”

“Like a quesadilla,gorgeous.” he smirks, and he was glad he managed to sneak a laugh out of her, “You aren’t in any pain,right?”

“No, it feels…weird but it’s not hurting that much anymore. It’s like a dull throb,you know? That’s what it feels like.” she replies, her free hand automatically moving to her lower body and towards the fresh c-section scar. She frowns, “I think this is my first big scar.” she mutters, “I have…tiny ones, but this one is the first that I uh…had to…get,I guess.”

“Scars aren’t that bad.”

Beatrice looks up at him and smiles, ‘Because yours make you look very handsome and badass,right?” the pilot licks his lips,trying to bite back his grin by looking at a stop sign instead, because she got him, “You never elaborated on how you got them.”

“I didn’t?”

“No, you said you got them during school.” she says, “I think…I was a bit drunk that night,Roos.”

The fact both of them remember their time together in detail was…amazing and he knew it was rare. Over time you forgot things…but not them, oh no, he could remember a lot of stuff from the second he saw her face on the bar, “It’s not that fun,honestly.” he murmurs, “I mean, unless you wanna hear it.”

“Yea…when we get home, can you tell me?”

“Sure,gorgeous.” he says, "You wanna nap a bit?”

“Mhmmm.”

She was already out when he looked back at her, the hand that was holding Nicole’s was back on her lap and her head was touching the window as her chest moved up and down slowly. He smiles softly, making sure she was positioned right as he drove, he didn’t want her to wake up cramped or in pain.

He inhales quietly, then blinks his eyes twice…what a fucking week has it been. He knew his leave was going to be different this time, but holy shit that was a complete understatement, huh? He wasn’t complaining, honestly, he was glad even if it was nerve wracking the first few days.

He looked at Nicole through his rearview mirror to check on her and she looked back at him at the same time, giving him a few toothed grin as she kicks her little legs on her seat. He continued to drive, glancing between the road and his daughter from time to time, making sure she was safe and content.

The car ride was peaceful, the rhythmic hum of the engine providing a soothing backdrop,he didn’t want to turn on the radio and wake Bea up. As they approached their home, Rooster couldn't help but feel a sense of comfort and anticipation and relief of having her back home. He carefully parked the Bronco, ensuring the ride was smooth and gentle for both Beatrice and Nicole.

Once the car was stationary, Rooster turned off the engine and glanced at Beatrice, who was still peacefully sleeping. He leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, making sure she slowly woke up instead of a sudden jolt. Beatrice groaned, one of her hands coming up to rub her face as she blinked her eyes at him, trying to shake the sleep off, “Roos?”

Rooster smiled softly, his voice gentle, supporting his head with his knuckles as he nestles his elbow on the seat. "Hey there, sleepyhead," he greeted. "We're home."

Beatrice's gaze focused on him, her expression shifting from drowsiness to warmth as she registered their surroundings. She let out a small yawn and stretched slightly, careful not to strain herself. "Home," she repeated with a soft smile, her eyes glancing around the familiar surroundings of their driveway. “...was the Bronco always this comfortable?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

Beatrice hummed, slowly pushing herself to a sitting position and running her fingers through her hair, hoping to comb through the tangles without worries, “Felt like the first class seat to me.” she giggles sleepily, her voice still slurred, “Was nice.”

Rooster reached over and unbuckled her seatbelt, kissing her forehead again "Let's get you inside and comfortable," he said, his voice filled with care. “I’ll get Nikki.”

"Yeah," Beatrice agreed, giving him a grateful look. "Thank you, Roos." she groans a bit, opening the door and stepping out as slowly as she could. The movements pained her a bit but she could handle it, she waited until he was in her sight with Nikki by leaning on the car. Her smile widened as she looked at her hands, playing with her wedding ring.

“What’s that smile?” he asks, holding Nicole with one arm as he locks the car with the other, “That’s pretty nice to see.”

“I was remembering that the first time I leaned on the Bronco you took me out of the bar during a storm.” she says, “...you looked so…so good then,Rooster.God. You should be illegal.”

Her husband’s mouth drops and he lets out a soft laugh, “Illegal? Gorgeous…I could say the same about you to be honest.” he appeared offended only to immediately make her blush just enough for him to see her cheeks turn red and her soft gaze turn to him, “Come on,gorgeous, we gotta go home,gimme your bag.”

He wasn’t going to wait more than that, so she just handed it over to him, “Do you want me to open-” he shakes the keys in his hand as he places the strap on his shoulder, her heart immediately melting because he was out of this world…his mother would be so proud of him.

She hugs herself while waiting for him to open the door, looking around their neighborhood for a little while until she hears him talking to the dogs, telling them to behave and not jump on Beatrice head on - ‘that’s you Ellie’ - before calling her inside with his hand reaching out to her. The dogs were over the moon, full body shaking and tails slamming against walls and furniture, and Beatrice giggled as she petted them all, “Hi guys,I missed you all too.”

“So, first things first,” he says once the door is closed, “I’m going to make you some tea. Can you have some now after the c-section?”

Rooster's question brought her attention back to him, and she thought about it. "Yeah, I think I can have some tea," she replied, moving to settle herself on the couch. "Just maybe not too hot, please."

"Got it," Rooster said, “Any specific ones?” he asks while walking around the dogs but standing close by with Nicole still holding on his neck.

Beatrice purses her lips as she thinks, then shrugs up at him with a little smile, “Surprise me.”

“Oh I can surprise you.” he winks, setting Nicole down by the living room so she waddles to her play mat and Beatrice slowly stands up, following her daughter to the couch. She sighs, inhaling the smell of cleaning supplies and his cologne that hang on the air before she sits down on the soft cushions.

Nicole, who is right in front of her, looks back and grins, “Mama! “

“Hi sweetie.” Beatrice replies quietly, body still demanding some rest as her eyes flutter shut, “I can hear you.”

There’s some ruffling from her side and she peeks her eye open, seeing Nicole just climb on the couch with so much ease. She blinks her eyes then, then straightens herself, “...you are big enough to climb the couch.” she whispers in amazement, “Holy moly,Nikki.”

Nicole just giggled at her, snuggling up to her side. Beatrice clenches her eyes because their daughter was painfully cute and just didn’t move…because why would she. While she was in the living room she heard Rooster talking to someone, she couldn’t figure out who it was because he was far away but she tried to figure out by the way he was speaking.

He didn’t sound angry, nor worried - so it wasn’t the hospital, thank God. He just appeared to be talking calmly to whoever it was…she tilted her head towards the kitchen, seeing her husband’s broad frame move from left to right as he holds the kettle on his other hand.

He was so cute.

She looks back at Nicole as their daughter snuggled up beside her. The warmth of Nicole's small body against her own brought a sense of comfort to Beatrice, soothing her tired muscles and easing her worries. She shifted slightly to accommodate Nicole's body, then glanced down at her daughter with a soft smile.

"Looks like you're getting more and more independent, huh?" Beatrice whispered to Nicole, her fingers gently combing through the toddler's hair. "Climbing on the couch all by yourself."

Nicole responded with a delighted giggle, her eyes shining as she looked up at her mother. She wrapped an arm around Nicole, holding her close as they sat together on the couch, her eyes fluttering shut again as she waited for Rooster to come back.

"They want me to do what?" Rooster's voice held a mixture of surprise and incredulity as he continued his conversation in the kitchen, his tone low but clear. “When?”

Beatrice's curiosity was piqued by his words, and she couldn't help but listen in on his conversation, even though she knew she probably shouldn't. She shifted slightly on the couch, adjusting her position and still keeping Nicole close. Her eyes narrowed slightly as she strained to hear more of what Rooster was saying.

In the kitchen, Rooster's brows were furrowed as he listened to the person on the other end of the line. He leaned against the countertop, his fingers tapping a rhythm that reflected his contemplation. "I mean, I get that it's important, but it's a lot to ask on such short notice."

There was a pause as the person on the line presumably responded. Rooster let out a sigh, his expression a mixture of frustration and resignation. "Yeah, I understand the urgency, but I'll need to make arrangements. My wife just gave birth and I need to stay with her."

Beatrice could tell from his tone that this was something work-related and potentially demanding. She glanced at Nicole, who was now half-asleep against her, and then back at Rooster.

After a few more minutes of conversation, Rooster finally ended the call with a terse "Alright, I'll see what I can do." He let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair, his shoulders tense.

Beatrice decided it was time to let him know she had been listening. She gently shifted Nicole, who had fully succumbed to sleep, so that she was lying down on the couch. Then, she slowly stood up, making her way to the kitchen where Rooster was.

He looked up as she entered the kitchen, his expression softening when he saw her. "Hey, gorgeous."

"Hey," she replied, her voice gentle. "Everything alright?"

Rooster let out a sigh, leaning back against the countertop. "Yeah, just…they want to talk to me,that’s all.”

“About what?”

“Well…” he purses his lips, still tapping his fingers on the counter, “They want to know if me and Mav can give another class to new pilots, next week.”

“Next week? But you are still on leave?”

Rooster nodded, his expression a mix of frustration and concern. "Yeah, that's the thing. They want it done as soon as possible, and I get it, it's important. But I also want to be here with you and the kids." he shakes his head, pouring the water inside the mug and watching as the tea bag soaked it up.

Beatrice walked over to him, her hand gently reaching out to touch his arm. "You sound a bit annoyed.”

“A little.”

She smiles, hugging him from behind and pressing her temple to his muscular back, “You did amazing before, you’ll do amazing again. I can handle a few moments alone.” Rooster makes a sound,a displeased one, on his throat, “Can I maybe visit you? At the base?”

“Visit me?” he stops pouring to look at her, eyes slightly wide, “Baby…”

“Well,I don’t know…I never did…can I? It’d be only me if you are worried, Nikki can stay with my parents? It won’t be long.”

Rooster glanced down at her, his expression softening as he met her gaze. "You really want to come to the base, huh?"

Beatrice nodded, her arms still wrapped around him. "I do. I mean, if it's allowed and it won't be too much of a hassle."

He turned around, facing her fully, and placed his hands on her waist. "It's not that I don't want you to come, Bea. It's just... the base can be a bit hectic, especially if we're doing training sessions with new recruits. I don't want you to get overwhelmed or uncomfortable."

She smiled up at him, her fingers gently tracing patterns on his chest. "I appreciate your concern, Roos. But I think I can handle it. Plus, it'll give me a chance to get out of the house for a bit."

Rooster chuckled, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "Alright, you win. You can come visit me at the base next week. But on one condition..."

Beatrice raised an eyebrow playfully. "Oh? And what's that?"

He grinned mischievously. "You have to promise to stay by my side the whole time, no wandering off. It might be a lot to handle.”

“...you are aware we invaded it once,right?”

“Baby, that was romantic.” he coos, “This, is official.” he arches his brows, “I need to talk to some people, maybe someone will guide you until we can talk, it call depends of the time. There are places on the base you cannot go.” she’s looking at him with those huge green eyes and he just wants to kiss her, but he has to be serious, “And not to mention, there’ll be a lot of people.”

Beatrice chuckled, "Alright, fine, I promise I won't wander off, sir." she said with a mock-salute. "I'll be your official sidekick for the day."

Rooster grinned, his fingers gently tucking a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. "That's the spirit. And don't worry, I'll make sure you're well taken care of. You'll get the VIP tour."

"VIP tour?Oooh, I like the sound of that." She leaned up, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. He hums into her mouth and she leans back when he tries to deepen it, “Roos.”

“Sorry,habit.” he whispers, kissing her forehead this time and exhaling softly, still holding her close, “...you know, maybe with you there, it won’t be so bad. Maybe I’ll also get…good pilots who won’t fuck missions up because they want to play heroes.” he mutters, pressing his lips to her scalp and smelling her scent. She still had the hospital smell clinging to her, even if she took a shower before leaving, but it was still Beatrice.

“Is there anything I shouldn’t do, besides wandering off?”

“Hm…” his voice vibrates on top of her head and she giggles, before he continues, “Let’s see… don’t touch any aircraft, equipment, or anything unless I say it’s okay. Some things can be sensitive or dangerous. And, uh, definitely don’t try to give any impromptu flight lessons to the recruits,” he adds with a chuckle.

Beatrice laughs softly. "Got it, no unauthorized flight lessons. I'll just stick to being an observant sidekick and let you handle the training." she pauses, narrowing her eyes, “Funny that we did that before, that night after we had tacos,Roos.”

“Well,” he smirks, “It was still pretty romantic.”

#bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x oc #top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw x named reader #tgm oc #tgm fic #tgm fanfiction

40 notes · View notes