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#get that choice. sometimes surviving is all you can do. why not embrace that? why not build a place where people can postpone death?
genshin-projection · 16 days
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i don't think i can be normal about Sunday guys
#hsr#hsr spoilers#i haven't even FINISHED it yet but his ideology is so warped. i cheered when i thought Gallagher had killed him for real#im not upset he's alive though i do think it's a bit of a cop-out . but. ouhghhhh something is so wrong with his mind (/positive.)#it's successfully looped back around to loving his character though. when there's a fucked up guy in a story i either#1) get very hostile towards them because i feel like they aren't being portrayed enough like the villain i see them as#or 2) become Obsessed with them forever because they are just so fucking . Wrong. like .#ayato genshin impact falls into both of these categories simultaneously like a fucking electron.#but sunday. he has wholeheartedly landed himself in the second category. i need to dissect him and maybe like. idk. give him a cake (?)??#Come Experience The Joys. Idiot. and also maybe listen to your sister.#honestly i REALLY like robin i think she's super super great and has good ideas#i really really love the like. the.#the contrast between his like. his horrible pessimistic nihilistic ideology. and robins optimistic harmonious one.#like robin seems to kind of... not be able to understand that sometimes nihilism is the only way to survive and that it's a balance#survival is good but hard to break out of... you need to survive enough to be ABLE to live. she seems to idealize living in opposition to it#whereas sunday is like. there are people who can ONLY survive. sometimes living isn't an option because the world is cruel and we don't all#get that choice. sometimes surviving is all you can do. why not embrace that? why not build a place where people can postpone death?#if fulfillment isn't possible... then why not accept placation even if it is a poison to the soul? surely joyful prison is better than death#if all that awaits in the world is suffering then why not let the bird live the rest of its days in its cage... even if it is unfulfilling?#HE'S SO . RHGHHGHGHFHGHHVGJF#he feels like he's on the brink of a misanthropic suicidal breakdown to me. someone fucking help him (but not really)#(i don't think anyone should be subjected to his brain. but i would like to see him get better. actually i think robin is trying for sure)#anyway. very curious how this quest is going to end. i want to rip him limb from limb and then stitch him back together again after#my posts
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brittle-doughie · 3 months
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This can be a situation of 'what if' since the five beast were the first ones then what if they would be the first who began with this whole yandere chaos like- they are the ultimates obsessive over y/n cookie the fallen heroes have the first and high level O_O
-🧁 anon
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What If: The First.
Something has to start somewhere. Y/N Cookie is a figure beloved by all, sometimes even a little too much from certain, no wait, a large majority of the cookie population on Earthbread.
They’ve seen a lot from what levels of obsession could offer from simple clinginess to the alters and shrines many create amidst their sickly love.
Y/N Cookie was surprisingly no stranger to these gestures. After all, they’ve seen these similar types of obsessive love elsewhere.
Long ago, many years back….you were a Primordial Cookie alongside your long lasting companions, the Five Beast Cookies.
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You remembered all the times you’ve had with them.
The times you laughed. Shadow Milk Cookie would tell you many things about this world, but he also liked to sprinkle in some humor too. He’d even do a sort of jester act by using a puppet show, it never failed to make you chuckle at least once…
The times you chose to help others that made Mystic Flour Cookie warm with you. Your choices to make decisions that befitted your Virtue of Compassion was something of a spectacle for her. She adored that you did not question anything about showing compassion for others, some things don’t always have to come down to choice.
The times you felt safe. Red Spice and Silent Salt Cookie were your protectors. You were a cookie of compassion, but that shouldn’t mean that cookies should push you around. It made the two cookies unhappy and advise the perpetrator to back off. Red Spice was all show while Silent Salt was all quiet, but both make sure that you wouldn’t get harmed under their watch.
The times you loved. Eternal Sugar Cookie was always happy to see you. Compassion and Happiness always worked well together, so it only made sense that you were the closest to her. She’d let you join her on her cloud as you two talked the day away, Eternal Sugar being happy that she got to spend time with you in any form.
Oh, how things went south when power corrupts.
One by one, their will crumbled under the weight of their own strength. The Five became twisted apostles of evil and brought forth darkness and devastation.
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This corruption had also brought upon unfortunate side effects to their love for you, twisting and change until it’s nothing but sickly and dark.
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Shadow Milk Cookie embraced deceit into his heart, controlling and manipulating the cookies around you. His plan to make you belong to him would be to drive everyone you knew away from you whether it be by his twisted mind tricks or more lethal methods. You’d have no one left but him…
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Red Spice Cookie only brought nothing but destruction to whoever dared to challenge his sick obsession with you. No cookie could ever survive an encounter with him, only reduced to smoldering crumbs on the ground. No cookie has ever loved you like he has, because there’d be no one left that could…
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Silent Salt Cookie’s protectiveness reached insane levels you’d never expect from them. Cookies that so much as raise a hand in your presence are swiftly cut down by Silent Salt. Cookies can’t even look at you without Silent Salt putting an end to their existence. Their worry for you, and you overall, was worth the lives they stomped on.
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No other cookie mattered to Mystic Flour Cookie anymore that wasn’t you. She just didn’t see why you should care for any of these insignificant specks of grain as she casually waves her arm, reducing the whole landscape around her into nothing. No longer did choice matter to her, the decisions she once valued mean little to her if it didn’t help you or her out.
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What was once happiness has now turned into a deadly and sickly obsession with you. Eternal Sugar Cookie’s mind hazed with nothing but thoughts of you, unable to get you out of her mind. NEVER wanting to get you out of her mind. Only you could get her off her cloud, she’ll simply yawn and turn away anyone else. She believes her love for you triumphs above anyone else, gleefully obliterating anyone who thinks could challenge her…
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You can still hear their screams and shocked gasps when the Creators locked them away, their pained cries and shouts all becoming static in your head.
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The Ancient Heroes…
They’ve done well in resisting the temptation of power unlike your former comrades, their affection remaining moderate as a result.
Though, one of them have your doubts..
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tvseries-writings · 5 months
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Road Trip VIII
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Road trip masterlist
Wandanat x Bioquake x reader (Bobbi x reader platonic!)
TW: blood
Summary of previous chapters: When Nat, Wanda, Daisy, Jemma and reader have an accident, reader is injured so badly that Jemma and Wanda must combine science and magic to save her with only one side effect...special healing powers that allow to project the injuries onto someone else but at a high price. What happens when the girls find out what this “high price” consist in?
Silence invades the room since you told them the truth about the tests. You had hoped that lie would last at least a couple of weeks, but instead it hadn't even lasted a day. Jemma looks at the papers in her hands, barely holding back tears and quickly shaking her head.
They say there are five stages of grief. And even if that is not their mourning, not yet at least, each of them, knowing the truth, is going through at least one of those stages.
Jemma is facing denial, rereading again and again those words that are incomprehensible to you but which Fitz has diligently summarized for you, as if by doing so he can find a permanent solution to your situation that you can accept.

"No, no, there must be something we can do...if you don't use your powers then, maybe-"
Daisy paces back and forth across the room, making her shake just barely, almost imperceptibly to anyone who doesn't know her. Daisy is incredulous, bewildered by a revelation of such magnitude.
"This is not your choice, all right? I wanted to tell you because I was forced to," you cast a glare at Daisy before continuing to speak, "and you have no say in the matter, get over it."
You know you've been hard on them, you know it and you see it in their looks but it's for their own good and for your own sanity. No one banned them from using their powers, even when they were hurting them so they have no right to ban you...not if you can save lives. You could even heal cancer with your powers, how can they not understand that.

"You may be right, sometimes our powers hurt us but we don't sign a death warrant every time we use them detka." Wanda takes a few steps toward you but you back away, shaking your head.
"I could save who knows how many lives, I...you are special, you always have been, by your powers or your qualities and now I too will finally feel useful in something" "Even if it means your death y/n? Because that's what we're talking about, you can't deny it and each of us is all too aware of it; do you realize that if you keep using these strange and dangerous new powers, you'll only destroy yourself until there's nothing left of you?"
Natasha struggles to keep the fear from seeping into her voice but you know her, you know she is only scared and afraid of how far your recklessness may take you this time.
You look away, unable to sustain the former widow's sharp but concerned gaze.

"I'm aware of that Nat, I know I'm signing my own death warrant but if it will help even one person then I'll be more than happy to take the risk."
"This is bullshit! Are we really going to allow her to do something like this? This is stupid and dangerous. You're committing suicide y/n and I can't stand by and watch you do it, at the cost of stopping you by force."
Daisy raises her arm toward you, she doesn't know why either but hopes to stop this madness even though both you and she know she would never hurt you. In fact, after a few seconds in which you all remain silent, the inhuman lowers her arm with a defeated air.

"Please love, please...we would not survive without you."
Daisy lets tears line her cheeks as she collapses to her knees, repeatedly shaking her head, "you can't choose to leave us if you have the option to not to, please..."
Your heart breaks and your body moves before you can stop it. You kneel next to her and hug her, kissing her cheek and whispering that it will be okay even though you know it is a promise you cannot keep. Wanda approaches you and joins the embrace, Jemma follows her while Nat remains motionless, just a few steps away from you. She would like to join but the pain she is feeling right now prevents her from doing so.

"Nat" Wanda whispers, turning toward her lifelong companion, inciting the redhead to join but the latter shakes her head.
"Please" you look up, mimicking the word with your lips, and she resists for a few seconds before complying with your request. This warm squeeze is supposed to be for Daisy but actually, if you have to be honest, you think it serves all of you.
You don't know how long you stay like this but when you speak again, your mouth is dry and your voice trembles.
"I'll...I'll be careful, I'll only use them when I think it's necessary okay?"
The girls nod, not what they wanted to hear but they know they won't get anything else from you.
"All right but first I want to do some tests and many, many blood tests so I suggest you prepare yourself psychologically."
You huff dramatically and hide in Wanda's arms.
"Wands save me" you whimper and Nat pats you on the butt shaking his head.
"I don't think you're going to get off that easy" "No no, Jemma is right and in fact, we'll help her hold you down for as long as detka" Wanda leaves a kiss on your temple and smiles when you let out another whimper.
"If you're going to have your way at least you have to suffer a little" Daisy sticks her tongue out at you and you kick her on the shin which makes her pout and massage the injured area.
"I hate you" "No you don't" "No you don't...I hate you very much."
"Y/N!"
.................................................................................
During the next three weeks Jemma doesn't give you a break and Bobbi certainly doesn't help. You have pitted arms and think you're missing a lot of blood after all the blood draws the biochemist forced on you. Just like she's doing today.

"Stop it Bobbi, that's the third one today..please."
You sigh, shaking your head and withdrawing your arm from the blonde's hands and almost injuring yourself with the needle.
"Y/n! Be careful or you'll hurt yourself."
Bobbi removes her gloves and places them, along with the syringe, on the small table to your right.
"I know you hate all these rockstar withdrawals and I know how terrible you are as a patient but-"
Your phone rings and as soon as it does, you immediately recognize the ringtone.
"Director Fury, tell me."
Bobbi watches you throughout the entire call, trying to figure out what your boss is telling you but can't. She has never been good at reading other people's emotions, let alone their looks.
"All right director, no problem. We'll leave right away."
You end the call, putting the phone back in your pocket and getting up from the infirmary bed. A dizziness forces you to sit back down and Bobbi snaps toward you, grabbing your arm to keep you from falling to the floor.

"Hey hey, easy. I just took a liter of blood from you, I don't think it's a great idea to get up so fast without even drinking your juice."
Bobbi hands you the juice and watches you carefully as you drink it all so as not to infuriate her.
"Can I get up now boss?"
A smile of defiance paints your face and the spy rolls his eyes, nodding his head to give you permission.

"What did Fury tell you?"
Bobbi tosses the used syringe and gloves into the trash can, but continues to watch you out of the corner of her eye to make sure that once you're on your feet you don't get hit with dizziness again. 
"We have a mission and we need to leave right away, it's a 084."
"Origin unknown..." Bobbi whispers and you nod. You both know that code all too well, as does Daisy.
"We need to warn the others and move now."
You head for the infirmary exit but Bobbi blocks you.
"You can't go on the mission, Fitz hasn't finished designing the electricity absorber for your neural connections yet and if anything goes wrong Jemma would kill me, non-" "Bobs, I know. It's going to be okay okay? I promise. Now get ready, I'm going to call the others."
When you finally find them, they are all four ( or almost) engaged in a violent, but also deeply exciting, sparring session.
Natasha is on top of Daisy, pushing her against the mat beneath them while Wanda and Jemma watch them on the sidelines with mischievous smiles on their faces.
"Do you give up Agent Johnson?" "Forget it Romanoff."
It takes Daisy a couple of tries before she gets the better of Nat and knocks the redhead to the ground, holding her hands above her head and legs apart.
That sight makes you hot, but as soon as you remember the real reason you came after them, to your regret, you interrupt the little scene before you.
"As much as I hate to interrupt you...Fury called me, we need to leave immediately for a mission. It's about an 084."
Daisy untangles herself from Nat's grip and looks at you with a look you've never seen on her before.
"When do we leave?"
………………..………………………..…………………………….
In less than four hours, 084 turns out to be much more "known" than expected, and you, Daisy, Bobbi find yourselves tied, in a cold, dreary gray cell, to each other, because of a white, misogynistic, and, above all, psychopathic Nazi asshole.

"I remembered you dead."
You spit on the floor; the mix of saliva and blood settles inches from his designer leather shoes.
You cast a glance at Daisy and Bobbi. The former is still unconscious but the rise and fall of her chest indicate that she is still alive while the blonde is awake and struggling against the handcuffs as she watches that being torture you helplessly.

"Oh my dear, you know how we Hydra people are...when you cut off one head two more pop up."
Whitehall smiles; a crooked, sick smile so sadistic it makes you cringe, even if you don't show it.
"Although it's been years, I see you still use the same jokes. Old age is looming eh? Indeed, since you ran out of your beauty serum, quite a few wrinkles have appeared."
Another fist crashes against your jaw and is so hard that your head snaps to the side and more blood joins the blood from before on the floor. Whitehall wipes his hand on a handkerchief taken from the pocket of the ivory jacket he is wearing.
He shakes his head, smiles at you and grabs your face with his right hand, cupping your chin between his index finger and thumb so hard you think he might shatter it. Despite his age, the asshole still has a lot of strength.
As long as he takes it out on you and leaves Daisy and Bobbi alone, though, he's more than okay. At least until Nat, Wanda and Jemma come to your rescue. Knowing them, they will already be hot on your trail.

"Now tell me agent y/n, where is the journal that S.H.I.E.L.D. seized from me?"
Whitehall grazes your cheek with the scalpel, causing a small cut that makes Bobbi wiggle even more from her restraints; you know that look, she's telling you not to pull too hard.
"For the umpteenth time, you Nazi prick, I don't even know what you're talking about!"
Blood drips from your nose, probably broken considering the throbbing pain. Obviously you know what he's talking about, it's no secret that S.H.I.E.L.D. came into possession of the red journal inside of which were engraved the super-soldier activation words but I doubt that a Hydra bigwig would need it so badly that he would kidnap three S.H.I.E.L.D. agents.
Daisy lets out a groan as she slowly opens her eyes and you freeze, aware that Whitehall will now focus all energy on her.
And to think he only managed to capture you with a sedative in the form of gas...uh, Nazis, those assholes never change.
"You Americans are so stupid...the red diary, from Hydra. Seems obvious to me."
Whitehall cracks a smile before carving you one more time with the scalpel only this time, the cut is deeper and all too close to your carotid vein and Daisy, who has just woken up and recovered from the sedative, as soon as she sees how you are reduced struggles against the handcuffs and yells at Whitehall to stop.
"The destroyer of worlds...glad you could join us in this pleasant reunion."
He turns away from you, focusing on Daisy. The Inhuman tries to activate her powers but can't, the collar on her neck prevents her from doing so, and the Hydra scientist smiles as he sees her tenacity.

"Daisy Johnson, Quake, the Destroyer of Worlds, many names but without powers you are nothing."
Whitehall approaches one of your soulmates, and when he injects something into her neck, you can't see anymore and the handcuffs become completely useless against the rage you're feeling and the fear that whatever that was inside that damn syringe might cause Daisy harm.
It all happens quickly; Whitehall reaches down and grabs you by the chin again and then uses that same hand to dab the blood that suddenly comes out of the wound in his neck-the exact same wound he gave you that is now gone from your skin and transferred to his. The blood from your nose comes out even faster and more copiously so that your head starts to spin but you can still make out a smile on that psychopath's face.
"Ha Ha, I knew the rumors were true, and a little water injected into one of your lovers gave me the confirmation I was looking for. What amazing powers, the gift of healing and destruction as sides of the same coin."
Whitehall shakes his head while continuing to smile as he takes his handkerchief from his breast pocket and dabs the blood coming from your nose; not that it has much effect since the bleeding is due to your powers.
"I look forward to experimenting on you, my dear. It will be painful but you know, breakthroughs require experimentation."
He turns to the two energetic men on either side of the door, the only way out of that room, and motions for them to take you away.

"Pick her up and take her to the room. I'll prepare for operations; we must start now. Science does not wait!"
Bobbi watches intently, and as soon as Whitehall and one of his two henchmen emerge from the gray and far too brightly lit cell in which they are keeping you locked up, the handcuffs that held her bound fall to the floor. The sound the handcuffs make as they hit the floor makes Igor the enforcer turn toward the blond spy. Bobbi picks up the chair to which she was tied and smashes it over the giant's head, and within seconds the latter falls unconscious to the floor before he even realizes what is happening.
You observe your surroundings without really doing so. Your head is spinning and the nosebleed still doesn't seem to have stopped; in fact, you don't know if it has; you are so dazed that you don't realize it. Passively, you watch Bobbi untie Daisy and then pick up the gun that the giant idiot dropped after being stunned. And then, as Daisy approaches you and Bobbi unties you, you feel yourself return to the reality around you. At least in part.
"Hey, look at me, are you okay?"
Daisy takes your face in her hands, tearing off a piece of her shirt and dabbing at your nose to the best of her ability.
Bobbi keeps her gun pointed at the door as her spy skills take over, though that doesn't keep her from checking you out with her eyes every few seconds. After all, she is one of your closest friends and she cares a lot about you.
"You're an idiot, you shouldn't have used your powers for me."
"You would have done the same for me Dee," you whisper, concentrating on focusing on her face and straining to pronounce the words correctly. Daisy does not respond and merely looks at you, continuing to hold the now blood-soaked piece of her T-shirt under your nose.
"Shit Bobbi, it won't stop bleeding. What should I do?"
Bobbi continues to watch the door as she kneels down to slip something metallic from her right boot before tossing it to Daisy.
"This is the neural connection stabilizer that Fitz designed, it's only a prototype but it should help. Besides, it's not like we have much choice right now sestra."
Bobbi shoots you a look, startled by how out of it you seem and lacking connection to reality. Daisy applies two electrodes to the sides of your temples, attaching them to the thick and particularly heavy iron headband at the back of your neck, and then, as soon as she presses the power button Bobbi points to her, the pain suddenly fades and your head stops spinning considerably, the same way the blood stops going down.

"How I love Fitz," you smile, shaking your head just barely to try to ward off even the dazzling nausea that unfortunately has not yet gone away.
"Yeah well, don't push it, we don't know how much it holds and I'm not about to find out y/n" Daisy gives you a warning look before helping you to your feet. You sway dangerously to the side as the world tilts but Daisy keeps you firmly anchored to herself, giving you a concerned look. It takes a few seconds before you stabilize.

"I just feel a little dizzy, that's all. I'm okay Dee."
"Yeah, sure, you're okay...if you're okay, I'm the director of S.H.I.E.L.D."
You roll your eyes and snort, giving Daisy a gentle nudge and realizing only then that the Inhuman is still wearing the collar that blocks her powers.
"Bobbi, can we get it off without hurting her?"
You turn to the blonde, and when the latter shakes her head, you tighten your lips, thinking how much you'd like to put a good bullet through Whitehall's skull.
Noises outside the door alarm you and you waste no time in grabbing a broken chair leg to use as a weapon.
"Oh, that's scary."
"Better this than air."
You stick your tongue out at Daisy, and for a few seconds you think you are safe, perhaps on the couch, sitting between the women you love most in the world as you watch a few movies on one of your movie nights.
Then, three gunshots cause you to take a defensive stance, putting yourself in front of Daisy to protect her just as the door to the closed cell you are in is smashed open and falls to the floor with a thud.
Bobbi doesn't lose sight of the entrance, but when she recognizes the silhouette of the person standing in the knocked-down doorway, a smile breaks out on her face and her shoulders relax as she lowers her gun.
"Did I step on your moment?"
Natasha smiles and runs toward you and Daisy, squeezing you in a hug before exchanging a pat on the back with Bobbi.
"Good entrance Romanoff, I see you still like to show off."
"Oh Morse, you know me well. My ego comes first."
Natasha presses the earpiece she has in your ear, looking at both you and Daisy relieved to see that you are both okay albeit with a few bruises and some blood.
"Jem, Wands...yes, I found them, they are fine. Whitehall escaped but we will find him."
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The journey to the Zephyr is silent, methodical and full of bullets lodged in the heads of Hydra soldiers. When you arrive on board, you are greeted by a warm, smothering embrace from Jemma and Wanda, and even Bobbi cannot escape it. And then, as was bound to happen, Jemma drags all three of you to the infirmary.
"Come on Jem, I'm fine. Really." you grumble as the biochemist wipes the crusted blood off your face, ignoring your protests.
"You're not fine, you used your powers and you shouldn't have. It was stupid and reckless, so let me do my job."
"That lunatic injected who knows what into Daisy, I couldn't stand by and do nothing Jemma! You would have done the same. All of you would have, don't lie."
Jemma shakes her head, casting a glance at Daisy before moving to the front of her crib.
"Oh, don't start with me. Think y/n."
Daisy gives you a dirty look, one of those that a brother gives his sister after the latter has ratted you out, and you amiably show her your middle finger. You two really love each other only you have a strange way of showing it, that's all.
The biochemist tilts the Inhuman's head, looking closely at the tiny little hole the syringe has left in Daisy's skin.
As Jemma drains Daisy with at least two vials of blood, you approach Bobbi and brush her arm with your hand.
"Hey, are you okay?"
You whisper and Bobbi nods, sighing so softly you almost heard it.
"You went too far, it could have been bad," the blonde whispers and clenches her jaw. You look away, doing anything to avoid meeting her eyes," she could have killed you and I couldn't have done anything about it. Do you understand that y/n? You cannot jeopardize your life like this...your life is not worth less than my life or Diaisy's life."
You shake your head and flinch away from Bobbi, drawing the attention of the other two girls in the room.
"I had no choice, you know how fixated Whitehall is on Daisy and her mother!"
Bobbi remains silent, she probably would have done the same thing in your place but the fear she felt at almost losing her best friend a few hours earlier still grips her stomach.
"Y/n, Bobbi is right. My life isn't worth more than yours and I don't want you to do shit like that ever again."
Daisy gets off the crib and walks over to you, taking your hands between her own and drawing circles on your skin.

"Yeah, I'd say we have enough stubborn, reckless people in this relationship already."
Natasha says, entering the infirmary at that moment. Behind her, Wanda crosses your gaze, turning a small smile.
"Honestly-and happily-I still don't know how you are all unharmed considering you never think before you do anything."
Jemma shakes her head and emphasizes a sigh of exasperation to let you know how much you stress her out.
You smile and the tension that seemed to hover in the room before quickly dissipates. Jemma picks up the tablet next to the crib Daisy was on, looking at the results that the fast S.H.I.E.L.D. machines have sent her.
"Well, then Dee looks like Whitehall was telling the truth. I don't know if it was water but it didn't alter any of your values so at the moment I'm satisfied...Not that you're safe from any future tests in the days to come, let's be clear."
Daisy snorts and Wanda hugs her to comfort her, unsuccessfully holding back a smile. After Jemma finishes observing your test results, the biochemist clears Bobbi for any substantial damage, simply giving her a palliative for a nasty bruise on her shoulder, and then, after long and careful consideration, decides it is time to remove Fitz's device.
She has you lie on the crib, though your protests are anything but feeble, and then hooks you up to a million machines. Heart rate, blood pressure, breathing, CO2--everything.
"Bobbi come here, Wanda stand by in case your intervention is needed."
You feel like that crib is your bedside, with all the people you love around you and wires poking out of your body everywhere. Jemma lifts up your shirt, gluing the two electrodes one above your left breast and the other under your right armpit.
"Oh Jem, I don't think we should do this right now," you whisper, pretending to be scandalized as Jemma pats you on the shoulder. The whispered word "idiot" and the laughter that follows make your heart warm.
Daisy, Wanda, and Natasha remain silent as they watch Jemma slowly and carefully detach the electrodes on your temples, also slipping off the iron tube behind your neck.

"How do you feel?" Bobbi says, watching the monitors and checking your vitals, noting a gradual increase in your heart rate.
"Simmons, heart rate 95 and BP 130/85 and rising."
Jemma runs to one of the drawers; you can't quite make out her movements or the faces of your girls despite the fact that they are inches away from you. Your vision is blurry and you're pretty sure your nose has started bleeding again and profusely too, considering the concern-laden tones of voice of the girls around you.
"Shit y/n, stay awake," Bobbi says to you, slapping your face a couple of times when she sees you squint.
Natasha is dabbing your nose with all the paper she can find, and her face contorts more and more from worry with each blood-soaked handkerchief she throws on the floor. And then, in the general chaos, while Jemma is injecting you with drugs for hypertension and to try to lower your heart rate, Daisy does the only thing that makes sense to her: she takes the electricity absorber and puts it on you in the exact same way it was just moments before. And everything disappears, your vitals return to normal and stable, and the nosebleed stops.
In your regained lucidity, you rub your suit sleeve under your nose, trying to get the crusted blood away.
"Well, Fitz really did a good job."
A small smile curls your lips as Jemma leaves a kiss on your cheek, breathing a sigh of relief.
"You're going to kill me one of these days, really. And anyway, you're going to stay on this crib until I'm sure you're okay, and we've got to find a solution to this," the biochemist taps you a couple of times against Fitz's jaw-dropping invention.
"We'll probably force you to stay there for life, considering the heart attacks you're giving us" Wanda giggles, wiping away tears she hadn't been able to hold back.
"I agree" Natasha leans over, leaving a kiss on your lips and being immediately followed by Daisy.
"Not bad for an agent without a degree, is it?"
"You're an idiot."
"Daisy Johnson, you know you're not just a stupid piece of paper to us. You don't-" "Jeem, I was joking. Chill."
You shake your head as Jemma continues to rail at a poor, helpless inhuman who nevertheless deserves every single word the biochemist is saying. Ah, they are so cute when they bicker. You love them.
Thanks for reading! I know it's been a long time but hey, at least it's a very long chapter come on. Comment, share and tell me what you think. If you want to support me, this is my ko-fi link☕️ and as always: have a great day!
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redskull199987 · 1 year
Note
Hey
Can you do a ragnar x reader x lagertha where she refuses their proposal to be with them bcs she thinks they are caos ( they are tbh)
Thank you
I absolutely love this one, it was so much fun to write. It's a little bit short though, I hope you don't mind:)
I walk alone
Ragnar x Lagertha x female!reader Request
Word count:0.7k
Warnings:none
Summary:Ragnar and Lagertha keep nagging you about marrying them, but even though you're in love with them, a marriage is something that you didn't even consider so far...
Masterlist
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"We won't ask you again, Y/N", Lagertha mumbled. I felt how she traced the features of my face with her delicate fingers. Nevertheless, my eyes remained shut. I was not giving in.
"She's right", Ragnar agreed and I felt how his cold hands gripped my hips, pulling me closer to him.
"You guys are annoying", I answered and finally opened my eyes, "This question is getting tiring"
"What do you mean?", Lagertha asked, Irritationen in her voice.
I sighed and slowly started to get up, trying to get out of their embrace.
"It means, I won't marry you", I said, giving her a calming smile.
"Don't take it too personal", I explained while starting to get dressed.
"What do you mean, don't take it too personal?", Ragnar wondered. He sat up now too, eyeing my every movement.
I watched, as Lagertha propped herself up next to him, leaning on his shoulder, while Ragnar kissed her temple softly.
I smiled at the two. They were truly made for each other.
Only recently, I had joined their relationship and to say it was awesome, was an understatement. But still, I couldn't bring myself to agree to marry them. Not only were they already happy before me, but they were also absolute chaos. I have no idea, how these two survived so far. Whenever I joined them for literally anything, something went wrong. It was disastrous. If they didn't have each other, one of them would've died at least once by now.
I had no idea if it was because of me or if they were like this on their own too, but the chaos sometimes was too much for me to handle.
And of course, I loved them. I loved being together with them, spending time with them, but marrying them? That is something that never really fitted into my head.
"I will see you later.", I explained, as I kissed them goodbye. Ragnar only nodded, while Lagertha tried to pull me back into bed, but I managed to escape eventually.
"Lagertha, you know I have to help my brother with his shop."
"Oh he can build his boats alone." Ragnar mumbled. I playfully punched his arm.
"Don't talk about your best friend like that!",I scolded them.
"But it's true.", He laughed and layed back down, "Floki is the best boat builder in the nine realms."
"Well, maybe I just like seeing my brother.",I smiled, as I turned around to leave.
"See you later, you two. I love you.", I shouted as I stepped out of the door.
"We love you too, Y/N!", I heard the laughting, as I left their home.
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I was making my way over the market of Kattegat, in search of my Brother Floki. But it seemed like he was still at his house, a little bit away from the town.
"Y/N"
I turned around, as I watched Bjorn jogging towards me. I smiled at the young boy and greeted him.
"Hello Bjorn.", I smiled, "How are you doing?"
"Oh, I'm fine.",He said and looked at me,"Have you said yes by now?"
"Oh you too now", I sighed, "Why is everybody asking me that today?"
Bjorn smiled at me Apologetic:"Sorry. It's just... I really want to know."
"I didn't say yes so far.", I informed him, "And I won't say yes."
"Why not?", he asked perplexed.
"So, you approve?", I grinned.
"Honestly, my parents are absolute chaos, you're making them a lot more bearable.", he explained.
I chuckled at his words:"Well, thank you. But I still won't marry them."
"Huh",Bjorn huffed, "Its your choice after all. But you won't leave them, right?"
"Gods, no!", I said, "I love them too much for that, I just won't marry them."
"well that's fine by me.", Bjorn said and patted my shoulder,"I'll see you later."
"Yeah, bye", I smiled and watched as he made his way back to the Market.
I was walking alone again. I guess I would be doing that 'till eternity.
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justanotherrpmeme · 1 year
Text
Harm starters
"Why would you do this? Look at what you've done!"
"I had no choice. It was either them or us."
"You think you can get away with this?"
"I don't plan on getting caught. You're next if you don't cooperate."
"How could you betray me like this?"
"It's survival of the fittest out here."
"You've crossed a line that can't be uncrossed."
"Don't act like you're innocent."
"I never thought you were capable of such violence."
"Desperate times call for desperate measures. You have no idea what I've been through."
"I trusted you, and now I realize it was a mistake."
"Trust is a luxury we can't afford in this world."
"You're just collateral damage."
"You're a monster. How can you live with yourself?"
"Sometimes you have to embrace your darkness to survive."
"I won't let you get away with this."
"I'm always one step ahead."
"You think hurting others makes you powerful?"
"Power comes from knowing no one can touch you."
"You've become exactly what you swore you'd never be."
"Sometimes the path to redemption is paved with blood."
"What's your endgame here? Destroying everything?"
"I never thought you'd resort to violence."
"Desperate times call for drastic measures. This is the only way."
"Sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the greater good."
"You're playing a dangerous game, and it won't end well."
"In this game, the winners take it all, and I plan on winning, no matter the cost."
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inspirationalucky · 1 month
Text
🦈 EPIC: The Musical: Act One, The Ocean Saga sentence starters. Going by the exact lyrics except for a few lines here and there, but definitely go ahead and change things to fit your muse's situation<3
Storm
"Is it nature or divine or a blessing in disguise?"
"This storm's our final fight."
"There's no time to die."
"Brace for a storm, the likes of which we've never seen before."
"With home so close, we must keep pushing forward!"
"Have them follow my ship, I'll ensure that we prevail."
"We're taking too much damage to survive!"
"We'll beat this storm!"
"What do you have in mind?"
"We're gonna shoot for the sky."
Luck Runs Out
"Please don't tell me you're about to do what I think you'll do."
"You've heard the legends, this proves they're true!"
"I'm gonna climb to the top and ask 'em for a hand."
"You could be caught off guard and lose your life."
"Don't forget how dangerous the gods are!"
"Have faith, friend, we've come this far!"
"How much longer 'til your luck runs out?"
"You rely on wit, and people die on it."
"I still believe in goodness. I still believe that we could be kind."
"What will we do when it tears us apart?"
"Where is this coming from?"
"I just don't wanna see another life end."
"And suddenly, you doubt that I could figure this out?"
"How much longer 'til your great days cease?"
"How much longer 'til your strength takes leave?"
"I understand that we're tired, I understand that we're fazed, but don't forget how much we've already faced."
"I took 600 men to war and not one of them died there, in case you needed a reminder."
"If you'd like to speak more, let me pull you aside then. I need to talk to you in private."
"I can't have you planting seeds of doubt."
"I need you to always be devout and comply with this or we'll all die in this. Okay?"
Keep Your Friends Close
"Out path to home is blocked by an impenetrable storm."
"Let's play a game!"
"And if you win, you will get what you're yearning."
"All you gotta do is not open this bag."
"Sounds too easy. What's the catch?"
"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, never really know who you can trust."
"Sometimes killing is a must."
"'Cause the end always justifies the means."
"Friends turn to foes in rivalries."
"I can't wait to make some new memories."
"Time for me to be the father I never was."
"Why are my eyes and my heart and my soul so heavy?"
"I keep on trying to embrace you both, why won't you let me?"
"So much has changed but I'm the same."
"If I had to guess? You're headed for the Land of the Giants."
"ODYSSEUS OF ITHACA! Do you know who I am?"
Ruthlessness
"In all my years of living it isn't very often that I get pissed off."
"I try to chill with the waves but damn, you've crossed the line."
"I've been so gracious and yet, you hurt this son of mine!"
"I'm left without a choice and without a doubt."
"Guess the pack of wolves is swimming with the shark now!"
"I've gotta make you bleed, I need to see you drown."
"But before you go, I need to make you learn how ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves."
"You are the worst kind of good 'cause you're not even great."
"A Greek who reeks of false righteousness, that's what I hate!"
"You fight to save lives, but won't kill and don't get the job done."
"I mean, you totally could've avoided all this had you just killed my son. But no!"
"You are far too nice, mercy has a price!"
"You reveal your name, then you let him live?"
"Unlike you I've got no mercy left to give."
"Today you die. Unless, of course, you apologize."
"We took no pleasure in his pain, we only wanted to escape."
"The line between naïveté and hopefulness is almost invisible."
"Close your heart, the world is dark, and ruthlessness is mercy."
"Forty-three left under your command."
"I am your darkest moment, the monster that always draws near."
"Any last words?"
"Remember me."
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memekais · 5 months
Text
epic the musical sentence starters. the ocean saga. feel free to change pronouns as needed!
storm
these waves and tides have grown in strength and size.
is it nature or divine or a blessing in disguise?
our home's in sight.
this storm's our final fight.
brace for a storm!
with home so close, we must keep pushing forward.
head towards the island but avoid the crashing waves.
tread where the tide is flat and then you will be saved.
have them follow my ship, i'll ensure that we prevail!
we're taking too much damage to survive.
at this rate, we won't make it out alive.
grab the harpoons, as many as you can find!
we're gonna shoot for the sky!
everyone grab a harpoon and aim it high!
we're shooting for the island in the sky!
luck runs out
please don't tell me you're about to do what i think you'll do.
you've heard the legends of the island in the sky, this proves they're true.
i'm gonna climb to the top and ask 'em for a hand.
you could be caught off guard and lose your life or piss off this god and infuse us with strife.
don't forget how dangerous the gods are.
have faith, friend, we've come this far.
how much longer till your luck runs out?
how much longer till the show goes south?
how much longer till we all fall down?
you rely on wit, and people die on it...
i still believe in goodness, i still believe that we could be kind.
lead from the heart and see what starts.
what will we do when it tears us apart?
i just don't wanna see another life end.
you're like the brother i could never do without.
suddenly you doubt that i could figure this out?
how much longer till your great days cease?
how much longer till your strength takes leave?
thank you for the concern but brother I can assure you our journey is almost done.
i understand that we're tired, i understand that we're fazed but don't forget how much we've already faced.
if you'd like to speak more, let me pull you aside then i need to talk to you in private.
i can't have you planting seeds of doubt, i can't have you disagreeing each route...
i need you to always be devout and comply with this or we'll all die in this, okay?
keep your friends close
our path to home is blocked by an impenetrable storm.
i ask for your assistance so we at last can go the distance.
i am the wind, twisting and turning, i give the fire enough to stay burning!
if you win, you will get what you're yearning.
take a look right here at this bag, it has the winds of the storm all trapped.
sounds too easy, what's the catch?
keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
never really know who you can trust.
sometimes killing is a must.
the end always justifies the means; friends turn into foes in rivalries.
we cannot let the treasure rumour fly.
now they wanna get the bag open so they can have closure.
sometimes sneaking is a must
for nine days, i've stayed wide awake.
i can't wait to make some new memories.
time for me to be the father i never was.
why are my eyes and my heart and my soul so heavy?
i keep on tried to embraced you both. why won't you let me?
we can save whatever wind we have to use another day, come on!
[NAME].... do you know who i am?
ruthlessness
in all my years of living, it isn't very often that i get pissed off.
i try to chill with the waves but damn, you crossed the line.
i've been so gracious and yet, you hurt the son of mine.
i'm left without a choice and without a doubt!
guess the pack of wolves is swimming with the shark now!
i've gotta make you bleed, i need to see you drown but before you go, I need to make you learn...
ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves!
you are the worst kind of good 'cause you're not even great!
a greek who reeks of false righteousness, that's what I hate!
you fight to save lives but won't kill and don't get the job done...
you are far too nice - mercy has a price!
it's the final crack we're about to break the ice now!
unlike you i've got no mercy left to give.
now it is finally time to say goodbye. today, you die unless, of course, you apologize...
we meant no harm, we only hurt him to disarm him!
we took no pleasure in his pain, we only wanted to escape!
the line between naïveté and hopefulness is almost invisible.
so, close your heart the world is dark, and ruthlessness is mercy.
i am your darkest moment... the monster that always draws near.
any last words?
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krikeymate · 11 months
Note
You remember how you told us that you laugh when you're in pain? It's a natural reaction to pain or trauma (laughing in shock). Lots of people do it.
Sooo... people say that Tara laughs/smiles after stabbing Ethan and that it proves that she enjoys the killing, too. To me, it doesn't look like enjoyment or amusement AT ALL. It's relief. It's shock. It's trauma. It's completely different from Sam's tiny smiles.
Sam's smiles convey dominance. They're unnerving. Almost maniacal. Tara just looks like she's smiling because the alternative would be sobbing hysterically. Tara might be fine with Sam killing people but I don't think she'd ever willingly kill anybody, and she definitely wouldn't find enjoyment in it. That's why I don't think Ghostface-Tara will happen, whereas I can definitely see Ghostface-Sam happening.
I feel like Tara really just wants to live a normal life. Sam wants that too, but she does have that darkness inside of her, and sometimes she really has to fight against it. Like, I believe (or I hope) that most people don't think about killing people - not even when they're super mad or disappointed or something. But for Sam, I feel like her brain would immediately go to 'I could just kill them' - and she means it! - if someone's messing with her or - especially - the people she loves, and she has to remind herself that that's not a normal response. You know what I mean?
In canon, I believe Tara doesn't really have an ounce of evil in her. At least not more than any other person on earth. She does have a very good survival instinct, though (mostly, maybe not in that Chad scene where tiny Tara wanted to fight 2 Ghostfaces without hesitation or in the party scene, where she was ready to willingly go upstairs with that douche). She's acting on pure instinct and adrenaline in most of her scenes in both movies. She's just trying to survive. Sam's also just trying to survive (and protect) BUT she does seem to find some sort of enjoyment once she gains the upper hand. There definitely is some evil slumbering within her.
So yeah, I feel like more people seem to expect Tara to become Ghostface eventually, and it doesn't make sense to me at all. Like, there's basically nothing in canon that would lead to that. She completely accepts Sam, yes. All of her. She fully embraces every part of her sister, without a single trace of judgment (as seen in Bailey's death scene). But to me, that's just a little sister thing. Sam's the coolest person on earth to Tara, and she can't do wrong in Tara's eyes. It's sort of infantile because most kids outgrow that phase sooner rather than later - but Tara obviously hasn't, which might be a childhood trauma thing.
So yeah, I don't even know where I'm going with this, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on it - if you feel like replying! I'm definitely open to changing my mind :)
Oh 100% Tara's laughing is because the alternative is crying. She's traumatised and it's this moment of relief that she's still alive and she's beaten him and she's won.
I think a lot of people have jumped on Tara should/will become Ghostface because they want a returning survivor to 'go bad', as that's something we haven't seen in the franchise, and although Sam is the obvious answer to that, given the story set out for her, she really can't. She's mentally ill and on antipsychotics, so to make her Ghostface would be a terrible and damaging choice. Plus, her story is about overcoming the darkness. For Tara however, you don't have that, but you can very easily have the opposite happen, a story of succumbing instead. I myself love the concept, although I hold no expectations or allusions that we will get that at all in canon. I also think people are focussing too much on the 1 -> 5, 2 -> 6, 3 -> 7 idea, and think oh Ghostface is going to be a half-sibling, well Sam and Tara are half-siblings. I don't think they're gonna do that.
I don't necessarily think we could get a Tara who is a straight-up killer in the way Sam could become, but she's definitely the type of character who could easily turn into a mastermind figure, if she wanted to. Now, does she want to, no. I do think however that it would be interesting for 7 to play on that, to put both sisters on the edge of becoming what they hate by having them hunting down a Ghostface instead of waiting to be hunted, but ultimately without them actually falling over it. In that movie anyway lol.
I don't think Tara's reaction to stabbing Ethan is what really condemns her however, it's the nod to Sam at the end. She's saying finish it. That act shows there is some darkness inside her, that she's not entirely innocent. If she hadn't done that, Sam would have backed away, and Bailey would have been taken away by the police/paramedics. Maybe he would have died anyway of his wounds, maybe he would have survived, the end result for that doesn't actually matter. Sam put him down, because Tara let her, because Tara wanted her to.
As for what you said about how often people think about killing - I think you might be surprised! It's a very common intrusive thought, the thought of murder or suicide. We have to remember that Sam is mentally ill, and so yes she would have those thoughts of 'I could just kill them', but those would be unwanted intrusive thoughts. The more severe your mental illness, the more severe and frequent those types of thoughts. They can be terrifying to deal with and really mess with the way you interact with others and the world.
If Tara was to go down a darker path, it wouldn't work just from where we leave her in 6. Where we leave her, she's realised she has to get therapy and work through her problems if she wants to keep Sam in her life, and she promises to do so. There is however a lot that can go wrong for her that could push her further into going down that path, as opposed to say, Chad, who I could not see ever doing such a thing, from what we've seen of his character.
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rphelperblog · 1 year
Text
Originals Rp Meme
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“To me, the very definition of the word “broken” suggests that something can be fixed.”
“No one hurts my family and lives.”
“I believe that when you love someone and that person loves you in return you’re uniquely vulnerable.”
“Death dances silently in everyone’s shadow, and she doesn’t give a damn. So why give a damn about her?”
“Let’s make one thing clear, you’ll never have this - loyalty. You can’t buy it, you can’t own it, you can’t force it, it comes only out of love and respect for the people who believe in you”
“All of us live with a demon inside.”
“Some days you control your demon, and sometimes it controls you.”
“If I tell you who I really am and you refuse to believe me then I can hardly be blamed for your disappointment.”
“You rant and rave about the monster I have become, but you are the author of everything I am.”
“If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results then surely my quest for your salvation ranks me as one of the maddest of men.”
“Every family has a legacy, and this is mine. I intend to fight for always and forever, even if it destroys me.”
“Everything we love, we turn to ash”
“I can give you a list of people who’ve underestimated me. None of them have done it a second time. “
“You can’t trust me, which means you cannot love me. Not as I love you.”
“In that case, you best kiss me before I go.“
“It must really suck to have to be you all the time.”
“In every moment a choice exists. We can cling to the past or embrace the inevitability of change and allow a brighter future to unfold before us.”
“Hurting the ones we love, it’s just what we do.”
“You’ll find bourbon on basically every horizontal surface.”
My family’s about to be pulled apart and there’s literally nothing I can do about it.”
“I actually pity you. Over the course of our long lives together, I could see you were broken. I used to think it was my fault, but in time, I learned your ability to love died long ago”
“A man can’t be defined by anyone but himself.”
“Always and forever.”
“Sometimes the things you want aren’t worth the price.”
“I’ve known you a thousand years and this is the first time you have ever done the right thing.”
“I hereby pledge my allegiance to you. You have the keys to my kingdom. It’s yours. “
“It seems you’re always willing to watch the world burn as long as you survive.”
“You pretend to be so confident, but I know the truth. You’re afraid everyone can see what you really are - an animal. A beast. Why don’t you show us your real face?”
“I can help build peace or I can burn our enemies to the ground.”
“I’m not a little girl anymore. I don’t run from anyone.”
“Sorry I would like to help but I am busy mourning another boyfriend.”
“Sometime, whats more important is not who you are siding with but who you are siding against.”
“Family does define you even if it requires sacrifice.”
“Might I recommend you release him before I opt to release you from your mortal coil.”
“Loneliness. It’s a reminder that in the end we are left infinitely and utterly alone.”
“There are consequences for those that care. I will not have you pay the price.”
“I loved her and you have broken me.”
“Sometimes, he needs her in ways even he does not understand.”
“You are the legacy this family always desired.”
“You are the promise we fought to protect.”
“We will be heroes or villains?”
“Family is power.”
“Which one of us is the people person?”
“Sod off.”
“you could have been nicer to people or leave less survivors.”
“oh I had that nightmare once.”
“What a nice normal family gathering.”
“I used to find it insulting I was barred from your precious little club.”
“I had that nightmare once.”
“This family makes me want to murder people.”
“Isn’t that the point of a fortress? to stay with in it’s walls”
“we need to talk.”
“do we indeed.”
“children please.”
‘When did I get elected supernanny?”
“As a devout feminist, I refuse to say you hit like a girl.”
“You have hit your complaint quota for today.”
“well thats going well.”
“Are there anymore inopportune deaths you would like to throw in my face.”
“The one time I needed you.”
“Am I supposed to go to the toy store and pick up a slingshot?”
“He finds all work demeaning.”
“I will use you as a shield.”
“shh, grown ups are talking.”
“Perhaps try a different approach. Fewer references to murder.”
“It is about time you brought a gentleman home to meet the family.”
“on a scale of one to ten. how much am I gonna despise this plan of yours?”
“Mabye after she reads your palm, she will let you palm her.”
“never underestimate the allure of indoor plumbing.”
“To be absolutely clear, he definitely could go alone.”
“My most disappointing minion.”
“I thought I smelled swamp.”
“I’m quite happy to stand here and watch you die or you could invite me in.”
“should we discuss a dowry?”
“touch me again and I will tear your arm straight off.”
“Old friend? old acquaintance.”
“I’m the prettiest urgent problem you will ever meet.”
“Are you saying that leaving me felt like the end of the world?”
“You look ravishing.”
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danbisroom · 3 months
Text
Ep. 10 - Like the rolling waves
My beloved fellow souls,
welcome back to Danbi’s Room, your weekly dose of safe space. Go grab a cup of something warm and get yourself cosy.
I hope you had a nice week! I’m very sorry, but this time I will again have to present you a re-elaborated version of an old piece, as these past days I’ve been a bit busy and unfortunately I’ve struggled again with severe anxiety and such. If that happens to you as well, remember that it’s gonna pass and that there’s nothing to be ashamed of. And you can always come to me, I’m here.
I hope you like this piece!
Sometimes it happens. Sometimes we find ourselves in the pits of despair.
And if it’s true that the brightest light shines in the deepest obscurity and that darkness nurtures the seed of life, this awareness is not always enough to let us climb up the chasm of sorrow.
We may need a hand.
A person, a spirit, a vision.
A sound, a god, a feeling.
Memory.
I still remember the first time I drew something that made sense.
It was an blue balloon, with a blue thread.
I was three.
What I don’t and couldn’t remember is my first love - at the time I must have been around one year old.
On the big, heavy, black analogue TV from my childhood there was a ballet piece being broadcasted.
My heart decided that was the right time order my nervous system to make me walk; I had to see it better.
I had to go closer.
I only got to know about this story a few years ago, when my heart, once again, ordered to my nervous system to get me moving again to embrace the lover I had to forcefully abandon many years before and for whom I hadn’t had the strength to fight.
Even if it’s pointless, since the past has already happened, lately I often wonder if I would have made the same choices, had we remained together.
Obviously this question will remain unanswered.
Despite my absence she took me back. She, too, demands my blood, sweat and tears, but I gladly spill them for her, even if they become so plentiful that I could replace all the oceans on our Mother Earth.
Alas, my two lovers are jealous of each other.
Each one of them wants me for her only.
But I know they were fooled.
I was fooled too.
Remember? The pack, the community is what makes us strong.
Loneliness makes us weak.
It also makes arts weak.
The common flesh of the sisters who are the highest and finest expression of the divinity of the human being was made enemy against itself, by us, villain servants.
The richness of the multitude was deemed as distraction, imperfection, futile vanity.
No.
No.
Life is not a straight line going nowhere.
The universe is not a straight line going nowhere.
Life is a circle, a spiral.
The universe is a circle, a spiral.
The universe is not a universe without its planets, stars, black holes.
A cell is not a cell without its mitochondria, its ribosomes, its nucleus.
Tekné, the unique ancient Greek word for art and technique it’s the membrane of the cell.
Every particle, every component inside fill it.
They work together.
If you take one out everything dies.
If you take just one it doesn’t survive.
So would I have to do that?
Why would we have to do that?
Why would we have to go on and around with dead pieces of lonely limbs?
It’s what we’ve been taught for the past 400 years - that doesn’t make it right.
Considering also that the past 400 years especially, particularly in the Western world, have been a continuous effort to make us weak, sick, divided.
Lifeless.
So I say, let’s take back everything, our essence, our right to multiplicity, our right to entirety.
Think about what or who you’ve left behind.
Think about what has always been within you, but you have forgotten.
Regain the consciousness of your past loves and past lives.
They might be your greatest treasure.
This is a bit short and in a bit different in style…let me know if you like this kind of text better!
Today’s song recommendation is 13 by our wonderful ace Han. It’s a beauitful and unique song that is able to speak to everybody and touch each one’s soul in the most needed way.
Let’s show it a lot of support!
I hope you enjoyed this episode and that you have a beautiful week ahead of you!
I’ll see you in the next one, big hug!
With love, yours,
Danbi
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I saw your post about Sabian using daggers and the contrast to Fjord and Vandran using swords. I'm deeply obsessed with Sabian and I was wondering if you had any other ideas about him.
I have SO many ideas about him, many of which contradict. I often go back and forth on what the nature of Fjord and Sabian's relationship was, what the dynamic between them was, what resentments or fraught emotions or sentimentalities may or may not have existed. Here's some thoughts, not all of them, but mostly questions:
Fjord and Sabian were brought aboard the ship together. So, they worked aboard the Tide's Breath for an equal amount of time. At the time the ship sank, Fjord had been boatswain, apparently had been first mate (per a comment on Talks), and was possibly free to come and go through the warehouse. On the other hand, we don't know what Sabian did aboard the ship but we know that he was lower ranked than Fjord and it was considered highly unusual for Sabian to be poking around in the hold, unusual enough to warrant investigating. I think a lot about how big the professional (and, thus, social) gap between Fjord and Sabian was at the end.
How long was Sabian planning this sabotage? It is most likely that the storm they were caught in was conjured by Dashilla and Sabian was taking advantage of the known recurring storms over the area. This must've been so carefully planned, to cover the sabotage. How long has he been planning for this? How long has he been waiting for them to take a route over the Diver's Grave? Why take all this care to cover his tracks anyway?
And, really, what was he looking for? He was clearly looking for something, since he turned Vandran's warehouse upside-down after the sinking. There are such few narratively relevant answers, just that Sabian was looking for a Cloven Crystal. Was he? Why? How did he find out about it? Is he our missing warlock? How did that happen? These are many questions I have varied thoughts about but... just thinking about Sabian standing alone in that warehouse, not having found the thing he killed everyone in his life to get.
Really, in some way, it's funny because it is a situation of his own making. I do also think a lot about the possibility that Sabian is just stumbling around his own life, nothing ever going his way—but perhaps it's always a bit half his own choices. Fjord, who is not known for having strong judgment of his own, considers Sabian a man of historically shit judgment. Is it self-fulling? Is it, in a way, self-sabotaging? Has anything ever gone right for Sabian? Why does he make these choices?
There's something so specific in how Vandran disdainfully calls Sabian "a coward and a survivor". It suggest a level of just dishonorable opportunism, maybe even a touch of annoying sycophancy. Just a suggestion of, at least to someone as tightly wound and steady-footed as Vandran, trying to survive by catering to whoever you're most afraid of.
The way Fjord talks about Sabian sometimes, it feels like it's trying to deflect off how long Fjord invested in him. As if trying to minimize that Fjord's judgment can be questioned over how long he was involved with Sabian, in whatever way that was. It's interesting that Fjord at times seems deeply sentimental about Sabian, even as he admits that their relationship has long been poor and only improved in recent years. I wonder if Fjord feels naive or silly for having believed that Sabian could do better. I wonder if people told Fjord they didn't believe Sabian could, and Fjord didn't agree, and Fjord is now feeling bad to have been apparently proven wrong.
We also don't know if Sabian was working alone to sink the ship or not. We know that he was a member of Cadmus Leeland's crew aboard the Widow's Embrace, but it's unclear when he became associated with Cadmus. Perhaps he survived because he had help. Perhaps he survived through some other (magical) means. But, there's something interesting in the possibility that he didn't start working with Cadmus until after he didn't find what he was looking for at the warehouse.
Wild and baseless thought: Is he retracing Vandran's steps? Back to Darktow because he's backtracking Vandran to find whatever it is he's looking for?
I think a lot about how Fjord's last image of Sabian is at the bow of the ship, preparing to jump. Not having yet jump, preparing to. I generally presume he jumped, but there's something interesting in the uncertainty of that image, poised in the middle of an action not resolved—just like this whole fiasco. That the last thing Fjord has in his mind of Sabian is him standing at the bow of the ship, probably stepping up to the rail, preparing to jump into a storm in the open ocean. No wonder Fjord can't forget it.
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soft september
Hi Ana,
Today I want to write you something different. I know we're both in places of longing at the moment, which I would love to blame on whatever retrograde astrology girlies are focusing on this month, but I think every emotion and craving we're currently feeling right now are purely reminders of our being human.
Let this be an exercise of vocalising things we want. This is a safe space. The world is a safe space. I don't know what happened that convinced us otherwise but I remember being so young and open to feeling. Open to just accepting love and care with open arms. Embracing everyone and anything that shows any interest and shares insights into our lives. This has never been limited to lovers. It was from every single person who wanted to be our friend, who wanted to get to know us, who wanted to spend time with us to connect and understand.
So today I choose to be honest about the things I want. I am in tears as I write this because this is one of those rare moments when my heart frees me from the emotional constipation.
#1 - I want clarity.
I don't want to be afraid anymore. I want to be able to go up to Ben and just tell him, what do you want from me? You're a decade older than me and I'm scared. We have been seeing each other for a little over three months now, talking for four (because I took my sweet time before meeting up with him) and I'm scared. I don't think he knows me well enough for labels but I have a feeling it would truly break me if months down the line, we figure out we're not even on the same page. I want to be able to see or not see B, N or even S with complete transparency, and knowing where I stand.
#2 - I want peace and security.
This one I try my hardest to keep. I want to be able to live freely without worries. Being an adult is hard. Being an adult completely independent is even harder. I am so grateful that I get to live in Australia separate from the burdens of being with my family, but it continues to give me such anxiety. Every single day I have to work hard and bet on myself, all chips in. I just need to keep going at it to have all the resources I need to survive and I will be able to reap the benefits of my hardships. I just need to be patient, while continuing to be strategic with my choices and actions.
#3 - I want to be rid of shame.
I need to be kinder to myself, especially because I know how much I do to advocate for my dreams and my needs - but some days, how difficult it is to be okay with where I am currently. I know I shouldn't but sometimes I truly feel so much shame as a 28-year-old who cannot drive, does not own property, has no partner, and a very uncertain future in Australia (with visa rules and guidelines always changing). I constantly need to remind myself of how far I've come instead of focusing on how much more I have to go, but it's not always easy. I associate so much shame in not achieving what I want in the timeframe I have set for myself, but if we're being honest - who even really cares about that? Why am I giving into societal pressures my high-achieving asian ass was conditioned to succumb to? My journey is mine and mine alone, and it can be however long or short it has to be. I try every single day - some days harder than others, but I try nonetheless. And there's no shame in that.
#4 - I want love.
Lastly, before my openness expires, I'll let you hear it here first. I want love. I am trying my best not to picture R when I talk about the l-word but the acceptance we had for each other was so deep, I can't help but look back at it. I have completely let go of that era, but I am also so thankful that it happened. Every single thing I went through with everyone I've ever loved in the past decade (and probably throughout my life) has created my concept and understanding of love, that today I can describe with full certainty the kind of love I want. I want a love that is certain of me, a love willing to grow with me and hold my hand throughout my journey, a love that keeps me accountable but also understands that some days I will be imperfect and not feel my best, or not make the best choices. I want a love filled with passion, but also with respect for the things that make me me, and the things that I advocate for. I want a love who believes in me and my goals and dreams... A love that hopes with me and works with me because we know tomorrow can be better. A love that can appreciate the present with me and look at the past with gratitude instead of longing and regret. A love willing to explore new things with me but also know when it's time to be still and rest. I want a love I am happy to choose, and that chooses me in return. And most of all, my deepest desire -- coming from a girl whose parents were completely wrong for each other -- I want a love that lasts.
What a time to be soft. Happy 1st of September.
Tabitha
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theherbalsanctuary · 1 year
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Hot take on Toxic Positivity in the Witchcraft Community
Rant post. Hopefully some of you can relate. Who knows, maybe "Hot Witch Takes" will become a series.
Sit down. I want you to sit, and reflect on why you chose this spiritual path. Was it for power? Healing? Love? Was it for....revenge? Or simply a deep dive for cosmic knowledge? Whatever the case may be, there is a huge trend that will not seem to die, and that is this god awful "love and light" movement.
Before I go on, yes. Going down the path of energetic workings, and witchcraft, and all that magickal amazing stuff, can be very uplifting! And if you are a depressed human like many of us are these days, then being a practitioner of some sort can bring about a ton of positive vibes and healing. But you know what else is great for healing? Embracing the dark sides of ourselves. And dare I say, only true healing can come from looking inward to the deepest darkest nooks and crannies of our souls.
What I can't stand, is when I go onto a witch page on say, Facebook, and the amount of comments condemning other practitioners for wanting to place a hex, or wanting to work during the dark moon, or even an eclipse, or dive into shadow work, is getting sort of insane. While it has gotten marginally better, rose quartz and some lavender is not going to solve our PTSD Susan. It isn't. You know what will? Crying. Digesting your trauma. Digesting your inner darkness. Learning about why we need the balance between the light AND the dark within ourselves always. Learning to forgive our past mistakes, and come to an understanding that some of those choices came from the sheer need to survive in the situation. There will never be the simple answer to the question "how can I stop feeling like trash?" But I can tell you it certainly isn't masking and compartmentalizing your emotions till you are a stoic smiling puppet touting off "only love and light vibes here!"
This not only puts and undue amount of pressure on other struggling folks to be constantly happy, or else they are failing to be a "true" practitioner. But it also discriminates from a shit ton of other cultures and their respective energetic practices. Magick, and actively working with it, tends to root itself in some form of struggle. Be it to get away from our oppressors, to get more resources like money to feed our kids, or to leave an abusive situation safely. Clearly, to stamp "you need only love and light" on these workings and desires is ridiculous.
This also begs us to consider the Three Fold Rule as well as the whole "do no harm" rule-thing that many practitioners will spout off in the comments as soon as someone wants to defend themselves. While I will not tell anyone what to believe, I will completely squash you down if you dare tell someone else that has clearly thought a spell/hex/curse through, including the potential karmic consequences. Sometimes, an abuser just needs to be put in their place. I mean this next part with utmost sincerity. If you had an abuser, and decided to put some form of hex or curse on them, while also putting up wards and protections for your own safety, you have karmically suffered enough. While I can't guarantee you wouldn't get any energetic repercussions, make peace with knowing that karmically, it is your target's "turn." You have suffered enough. (Not that you were supposed to anyway, hopefully you understand where I am going here.) Certainly, the cosmos don't follow any silly dogma that is "oh my gosh! This person sent bad energies towards this other, let's get back at them exactly three fold."
I want to finish this by saying, IF ANYTHING, the whole love and light thing should only serve as a temporary beginning to a whole self healing and self love life change. To truly love yourself is to be able to pick up all of your pieces, even the painful ones, and accept them for what they are. To be a true healer for others, it is to be able to look in the mirror, acknowledge your dark self, and use it as a tool.
Thanks for reading, take care of yourselves out there.
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tinamaetales · 1 year
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I AM A DERRY GIRL!
I make mistakes, please embrace me with the excuse of youth – iKON
Being young feels so liberating, right? Youth tends to give a person a special kind of power which makes one feel like anything is possible. But the truth is, you are not powerful, you just feel like it – especially when you are a teenager. Teenagers tend to feel like the whole world is theirs to conquer and I like that kind of attitude because it reminds me of hope. And, I was once like that. As a teenager, I was filled with a crazy sense of optimism that I, together with the rest of my generation, can make this world better. During my teen years, I feel as if every single opinion I can formulate is important and I demand to be heard. But sometimes, that is all there is – passion, optimism, and youthfulness, and then you become an adult. And you realized that things in life are never easy and will never be. And sometimes it is okay not to become that achiever that you wanted to be because not everyone can. Our teen years is a special phase in our life meant for us to discover who we want to be and whether you left your teen years a winner or a loser, it is fine because somehow those years of your life contributed to shaping who you are. You may not know everything as a teenager but it does not mean that you know nothing. And that is why I love the Derry Girls; this sitcom was able to show a more accurate depiction of teenagers while being educational about the troubles in the 90s Northern Ireland (well, that is the case for me as I am from Asia and before watching this show, I have no idea about what happened to their country so I find this show educational as well as eye opening). Also, Derry Girls’ humor is top notch.
 Derry Girls is a mini-series/sitcom on Netflix that follows the life of five teenagers from Derry: the cousins Erin and Orla, Michelle and her British cousin James, and Claire during the latter years of The Troubles. And while their country is experiencing unrest due to decades of conflicts, life goes on for them. Life goes on because the kind of environment they live in has forced them to pursue a different kind of normalcy for them to survive. Raids, bombings, presence of military – all of these tend to become just a normal part of their lives and for ordinary teenagers like our Derry Girls (and a wee English lad), you really have no other choice but to just get the bloody hell on with it and live your life. Because sometimes that is just how you survive, right? When there are so many things happening around you, there are also a lot of things you are fighting within you, inside of you, especially when you are a teenager. When you are a teenager, you are in that phase of discovering your identity and it helps having people around you who are also experiencing the same thing. There is a unique sense of solidarity when you go on a journey of discovery together with the people you can relate to the most. And as Claire said it, "Well I am not being individual on me own"
I used to think that for a series to be successful, it must have many seasons so the characters and the plot would have a great development. However, years of binge-watching different series made me think otherwise. Sometimes, the longer the series, the duller it gets. So, when I watched Derry Girls and saw that it only has 3 seasons and a total of 19 episodes, I really do not know what to expect. I feel like it would be too short and I will not be able to feel some attachment with the characters but I am happy that I was wrong. First episode of this show and I already know that I am going to love it and I did! I love how the characters were introduced and how the plot develops. And I love how this one does not need an over-the-top plot line to follow and yet it will get you hooked. As mentioned earlier, Derry Girls follows the story of the five teenagers from Londonderry. They are all studying at an all-girls Catholic school and as they begin a new semester, the squad of four girls became a 5-member squad when Michelle’s cousin, James, moved to Derry from England. He was enrolled at the same school despite being a boy for safety reasons (he is an English fella so they think it is not safe for him to enroll to an all-boys school). What I love the most about their squad is that all of them are ordinary teenagers; no one is an over achiever genius or a popular kid or a member of a varsity team or a stereotypical version of a school outcast that we usually see in most teen series or movies. The kids are just ordinary teenagers dealing with usual teenager stuff like crushes, home works, teachers, parents, self-esteem, and dreams. And that is when I feel that this show would mean a lot to me.
Cliques tend to be more popular in school set up, right? Especially during high school years. Cliques like popular kids, nerds, athletes, and outcasts are seem to be a normal scenario in most schools. But what about those who do not really have a clique? Yes, there are people like me who tend to not belong to any of those cliques but it also does not make me an outcast (I hope I am able to word this out properly, sorry English is not my first language). That is where Derry Girls enters. These are the kids who are just ordinary but their struggles should not be undermined. One of my favorite episodes from this series is when they all stayed up all night to study for their test and yet they did not even study enough because most of the time that is what happens when teenagers do a sleepover to study but time is not on their side. It even got to a point when they thought they saw an apparition and used it as an excuse to not take the exam. Another episode that I like is from the pilot when they get detention for attempted bullying. What sent them into detention is when they wanted to act tough but failed to do so, hence it was not bullying but just attempted bullying lol. (Bonus part: I love how the younger kid, Tina, stood up to them and the whole, “Do I have to accept their apology?” thing haha just brilliant scene execution). Also, another episode that I like is when they sneak out to watch a concert only for them to end up in the same bus as Sister Michael. And in writing this blog post, I cannot help but have some internal debate with myself as to what episode from this series stand out the most because I feel like each episode is brilliant on its own. I have watched all 3 seasons of this show twice and now I am slowly realizing that I can see pieces of myself in those 5 kids and I guess anyone who will watch this show would too.
The five Derry Girls (yes, because even the English fella is a DERRY GIRL!) are Erin, Orla, Claire, Michelle, and James. Their parents are also classmates when they were young so the connection is deep among them (of course aside from the fact that Erin and Orla are cousins as well as Michelle and James). Erin is the ambitious kid who is passionate about writing and sometimes a bit too self-righteous. Her cousin Orla on the other hand is eccentric yet confident in her own skin. Claire is the voice of reason but most of the time the anxiety manifestation of the group. She is also the studious one in the group. Michelle is the wild child of the group. Often, she puts everyone in trouble. And then there’s James the wee English fella. Despite the feelings of disdain (for lack of better words) towards him because he’s English, James is a respectful, kind, and reliable friend. In the typical high school themed series or movies, these characters would become as follows: Erin the editor in chief of the school’s paper, Claire the valedictorian and would go to Harvard or Yale, Orla the weirdo, Michelle the hot and popular kid, and James the famous transferee. But thankfully, they were not written that way. And that is what makes the show relatable. I love the way the series has shown the ordinary life of middle-class teenagers – both the struggle and fun of being one. And while not everything can go exactly like you wanted to, it is okay because that is how life should be. Life is all about trying despite losing. You cannot always win but you can always try again. That is my main takeaway from this show. We have our youth to make mistakes and learn from it. But we also have our youth to have fun and discover who we are – the identity, potential, and dreams in life. Let me end this blog post by sharing one of my favorite lines from the series, this one’s from Erin: And if our dreams get broken along the way….we have to make new ones from the pieces.
x,
TinaMae
PS I am definitely an Orla with Claire’s anxiety and Erin’s passion with a side of Michelle’s IDGAF attitude and a sprinkler of James’ friendliness. I guess it is safe to say that I am also a Derry Girl?
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yankpop · 2 years
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Yandere Sugar Daddy!BTS: You try to break the agreement (Hyung Line)
All copyrights belong to @yankpop (aka me) so do not post/translate my works on any other platforms without my consent/knowledge.
Check more: Masterlist.
WARNINGS: Implicit age gap; stalking; toxic relations; manipulation; money dependency; blackmail; kidnapping.
AN: Let me just say that a sugar daddy/baby relations doesn't necessarly imply sex. Many times it can be only for the companionship and nothing more and that's something that i chose to portrait here. Hope you guys like it💖
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Jin
You really believe you can leave Jin because suddenly you had a big promotion at your workplace? Really? Cause if so, then you better think twice before doing anything. The only reason you even got such a promotion at work is Jin. He thought you would be happier with an upgrade at work but seems like his kind action was mistaken as a sign for you to leave him. That’s your fault and Jin is gonna make sure you know who’s the boss in this relationship. Just as fast as you got the promotion, you’ll be fired from your job, leaving you speechless at the abrupt change of events.
Too bad for you as it only leaves you with a single solution: going back to Jin. He’d be subtle yet assertive when it comes to letting you know that you can’t leave him on a mere whim. If you agree to come back to Jin, there’s no going back on your word. You’re his for how long he wants you and Jin wants you forever. So, better start preparing the wedding.
“Don’t cry, princess. I know it feels like it’s too much but don’t worry. I’ll always take good care of you. From now on, you’re mine and I'm yours. Now, what type of ring do you prefer?”
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Suga
If you think you can survive without him, then you’re less smart than what he assumed. Yoongi is a prudent man and his undying love for you hasn’t altered this trait of his, if anything it has made him extra wary of anything that could separate you from him. Although it pisses him off that you want to get away from, it doesn’t really surprise him as he knew you never wanted to link with him. It was only a business relationship for you.
Having that fact present in his mind, Suga had before handed added a special clause into the contract you both had signed. It contained the small and insignificant detail that if you ever wanted to break free of the agreement then you’d have to refund all the money Yoongi had “invested” in you, which included gifts, the money he gave you, the apartment you were living in, among many others. You were blissfully unaware of such a clause until the day you tried to break the contract, something that didn’t please Yoongi at all.
Before the end of the day you were spammed with multiple calls and warnings from Yoongi’s legal team, informing you about the alarming amount of debt you had towards Yoongi. And of course, never in a million years you could pay off the debt, leaving you no other choice than to return to Yoongi’s embrace.
You always knew Yoongi was a mysterious and tricky man, but you thought he’d do this to you. Yoongi doesn’t care about that as long as he has you back with him.
“I know you can’t pay the money. And yes, I'm also aware that this clause wasn’t present in the contract you signed. But I never said I play fair, did I? Sometimes we have to get our hands dirty to get what we want.”
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JHope
After the way you tried to break the relation, Hoseok felt deeply hurt and rejected. Why would you want to end the beautiful connection between the two of you? For him, it was never about the money or a contract, but it was the powerful love and trust that he had on you. You are perfect, in his eyes. And yet you just ended things with him like it never meant anything for you. He gave you his love, his money, his everything, and it still wasn’t enough for you.
Had you left him for someone better? With more money? Or perhaps someone more special? Either way, Hoseok had to find out to so he took plenty of vacation days from his office to concentrate on the most important thing for him: you. He started following you around, wherever you went, so did he. Hoseok would go as far as to have someone hack into your devices to see what you were up to.
Once he realizes it was all because of the idiotic man you called boyfriend, he snapped. Hoseok made sure the man was no longer in the picture, that you were all free to be his. He wouldn’t kill the man, no. Hoseok would have a better purpose for him. He’d only want the guy to be left with serious health damages to the point that you’d literally have to come back to Hoseok in order to pay for your boyfriend’s treatment. To which Hoseok would generously agree, as long as you leave your boyfriend, of course. He needs you to be his and his alone.
And if you really want to save the life of your boyfriend, then you’ll do exactly as he says.
“I can give you the money you need. But what do I get in return? Cause I only want one thing and that’s you, my love. It’s a take it or leave it offer, so decide wisely. No one else is going to help you. No one besides me.”
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RM
Just the fact that you tried to leave him, even after all the help he’s given to you, proves Namjoon that you are dumb and helpless, just like the rest of the people.
Does he ask for too much? No. All he asks for is your companion on weekends and during some business trips, for a few dinners and some dates. Heck, he doesn’t even make you sleep with him, even though with the right type of encouragement he knows you would. Then why did he even bother to act like a gentleman? So you can just leave him in the end?
Not gonna happen, not while Namjoon is alive. You may try to erase him out of your life, but Namjoon is meticulous and strategic, and he knows exactly how to bring you back to him.
You’re gonna get evicted from your apartment because of a ridiculous detail that no one - not even the landlord - had noticed before. Which was horrible but not more terrible than no apartment in the city being available to your budget. None of your friends is able to help you, leaving you no option but to ask Namjoon for help, which he’d gracefully give. He’d provide you with one of his multiple real-estate apartments. The best part is that it was rent free in exchange of prolonging your contract with him, which after all might not be such a bad idea, right? I mean, what better than a sugar daddy that is there to help you when you really need it. Isn’t that boyfriend material? Namjoon is gonna try his very best to make you think that.
“Don’t worry, okay? I’ll help you out. You can always count on me, no matter what. I’m always here for you, love.”
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Tags:
@mwitsmejk
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themrsackerman · 3 years
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Angel of Paradis
Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Reader
Warnings: Spoilers from Season 4. Mentions of gun violence, blood, death
A/N: Now I know EP8 is only the beginning of the end but goddamn it hurts!! I love potato girl and losing her just tore me to bits. So here, take this. Its my way of coping I guess..
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Levi is pissed off. From the start, he disliked the plan but it wasn't like Eren gave you all much of a choice. So the moment the kid got on the airship, he was welcomed with one of the captain's infamous kicks. The cockpit wall quakes with the impact and Hange sighs, shooting you a look. "I think you need to get out there and make sure Levi doesn't kill Eren, Y/n." She says exasperatedly and you nod, rising from your seat next to Onyankopon.
"I'll be right back." You say and she flashes you a knowing grin, shaking her head slightly. Even the commander knows you're the only one who could reign in the Levi Ackerman.
You see Levi on the corner glaring at Eren as he was being tied up. You sigh heavily, seeing Eren steaming as he heals. Jaw probably unhinged from the captain's kick. You sat beside him on the bench and pulled out a handkerchief, wiping his face clean from dirt and blood.
"Y/n-san." He greets you monotonously and you gave him a kind smile. "Hey, kid." You greet back, tucking loose strands of his now long hair behind his ear.
Your heart aches at the sight. He used to have so much fire, had the same will to fight for humanity that you only ever saw in your mentor, Erwin. Now all you see is ember of pure hatred and cold blooded need for revenge. "I'm glad you're okay." You murmur. Eren's blank stare softens for a second and a small smile hints the corner of his mouth. "Glad to see you too, Lieutenant." He says quietly and out of the corner of your eyes, you see Levi roll his eyes and make a disgruntled sound as he turns around.
You walk up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Levi meets your gaze with his dull gray ones for a second and sighs, his expression softening too. At this you smile a little and say, "We still have a long battle to fight ahead of us, Captain. Things might not have gone smoothly, but we won today." You remind him and as if proving your point, right on the other side of the ship you hear the soldiers celebrate as they reunite.
"You're right." He agrees. Levi then takes a deep breath and grabs the hand you placed on his shoulder so he can bring it to his face. He turns his head and placed a chaste kiss on your palm. Your heart flutters at the gesture. It isn't grand but was still something you couldn't quite get used to. You two never declared your love for one another, never really had the luxury of time or chance to do so, but small acts like this was enough to let you know that your presence provided him the calm he sorely needs. And that was all you want. Be his peace in this war.
"I'm going to check if the rest of the squad made it back up." You tell him, grazing your thumb on his lower lip and he reluctantly lets you go. "Be back as soon as you can. Meeting will start as soon as this fucking monkey heals enough." He says, cold glare flashing at the other Jaeger who is a pile of steam still laying on the ground. "Okay, I'll just check on Lima's squad. They're the last ones to be picked up supposedly." Levi nods again and watches you leave before turning to talk to Yelena.
You smile past Floch and the other soldiers who are weeping, hugging and making their tributes for those whom had fallen in battle. You then saw three of the soldiers you've grown close with through the years. They were huddled in the corner, sharing a hug.
You hear Jean say in protest, "Dont hug people with that lump ass iron gear on.", while shrugging off Connie's arm. You chuckle at this and tackled him back to the embrace. "Shut the hell up, Jean. I would take Connie's armored hugs any day!" To which the trio whines out, " Lieutenant Y/l/n!!" when you squished them tight.
Although the new gear designed by Hange was in deed not made for hugging, you four relaxed in the uncomfortable embrace. Grounded by the fact that you all made it safe despite the battle you had just gone through. Connie and Sasha smile up at you while Jean tries to still look annoyed, although the softness in his eyes says otherwise.
The soldiers left below start coming in and the cheering just grows even louder. You didn't have the heart to stop them because you yourself are quite happy that today was a success despite some casualties. Now, you have the War Hammer titan as well and were able to destroy the fleet. Now, the Eldians' chance stands higher against this damn war.
"Did you hear that just now?"
Sasha asks out of the blue and you turn to her in wonder. Honestly you couldn't hear anything but the soldiers celebrating. But out of the lot of you, you know Sasha's sense of hearing is far superior than all of you combined. So you take a step back from the crowd and actually looked around.
"Hey, quiet down!!"Jean yells over the chanting but Floch shouts, "Make some noise! Victory!!!" And was echoed by the rest as they embraced and pumped their fists in the air.
"Hey!" Jean tries again only to be pulled by Connie to the side to ask, "Isn't Lobov-san still out there?"
"No, I think he came aboard." Jean says thoughtfully and this was when something didn't sit quite right with you. Commander Lobov is a man that is hard to miss. And with his dedication to this mission to make up for his years being a useless garrison, he would be amongst the soldiers cheering the loudest for the said victory.
Your instincts has never failed you before and its the very reason why you are so good at your job and able to survive this long. But sometimes, you wish that your instincts aren't always right because you always perceive danger. And right now, every fiber of your being is telling you something is fucking wrong.
That if you were to look out the airship right now, you'll probably see the commander lifeless.
Or worse, an enemy may have made its way up to the ship.
Your blood runs cold for a split second before you acted purely out of instinct. You shove Sasha to the side, dreading as you head for the airship's side door and at the exact moment.. someone aboards.
Your gaze met the kid's muddy brown ones. It was determined, filled with fury and you saw that there isn't any trace of hesitation as her finger pulls the trigger. You knew you didn't stand a chance judging by look on her face and her sure aim on your torso. The word of warning you want to let out was caught in your throat as she fires.
You remember seeing those crazed brown eyes and then the ceiling of the airship the next. The sensation of what can only be compared to fire piercing your skin spreads through your chest and insides like molten metal. You hear the indistinct noise of the soldiers' voices grow louder yet muffled at the same time around you.
From happy cheers to manic, hysterical screaming.
You couldn't catch your breath at first and you aren't sure from which. Was it from falling flat on your back? Or was it the searing pain that made tears leak from your eyes?
And then above the chaos, you hear your three closest comrades call your name in unison.
"Lieutenant Y/n, hey!!!" Connie's frantic voice shrill through the limited space of the ship. "Hang in there, hey!" You feel him rattle you, placing his rough calloused hand against your cheek. Jean's panic stricken face comes to your field of vision and you whimper,  "A kid." You gasp. "In the airship."
"Bandages! Now! We need to stop the bleeding!" Jean commands shakily and the rest of the soldiers that aren't capturing the two intruders scramble to get the med kit and the captain.
"Y/n-san, please hold on until we make it to the island!!" Connie pleads but hopelessness crawls his veins as he sees your blood flood the wooden floors.
"Keep him safe." You whisper out to nobody. The captain in mind. Your eye lids grow heavy but you didn't want to close them. No. You can't die. You promised him.
"Don't you dare die on me, Y/l/n." His voice echoes in your mind, compelling you to keep breathing despite how excruciating it feels.
Sasha who was frozen at first, snapped out of her shock as she hears Connie's voice call your name out of sheer panic when your eyes fall close. She then runs to meet the soldier carrying the bandages and was at your side in an instant. With trembling hands, Sasha tries with all her might to wrap you up and stop the bleeding.
"No, no, no, no!!" She starts sobbing while watching the bandage turn red, your gushing blood seeping through no matter how tight she puts the wrap around you. "Y/n-san, no, you can't leave us like this." Sasha hiccups, wiping her tears hastily before grabbing your now cold clammy hand and pressing it to her face. "Please!" She cries, eyes falling close.
If you hadn't pushed her, if you didn't step in her place, it would have been her that got shot. Guilt rakes through her as she watches you desperately fight for your life.
You can feel yourself drifting and you felt helpless. You then meet Sasha's, Jean's and then Connie's gaze, muttering with your remaining strength, "Protect him." And it was no request but an order.
Jean stumbles away, his hands going over his ears, unable to stand your labored breaths and Connie and Sasha's whimpering. Jean felt like hurling when Floch turned the kids to him. The other responsible for you being on the brink of death.
But to those two kids, they are the enemies who wreck havoc to their hometown. Floch wanted to kill them and throw them out but what good would that do? Would taking their lives save yours? And knowing you, who practically treat soldiers like them like your kids even though you were just a few years older than them, you would be disappointed in him at the mere thought of hurting these kids.
Jean can almost hear your angelic voice, "They're just children." You would say. So with a vexed expression and heavy turmoil growing within him, he ties them up and led them to where the captain and commander are.
Jean swallows hard when the captain's cold gaze met his and asks, "Who are these kids?"
By the looks of it, he still does not know.
"They killed Lobov-san and used his gear to come aboard." A lump forms in his throat, suddenly can no longer meet the captain's gaze. "A-and this one here, she.. shot Lieutenant Y/l/n."
Levi's eyes widen. Did he just hear Jean correctly? You? Shot? You were with him just minutes ago. No, how is that possible?-
"Captain, I-I don't think she'll make it." He continues, voice faltering. The grievance in Jean's face make Levi's blood run cold. He stumbles forward a bit as Armin and Mikasa run past him but he seemed frozen in his tracks.
No.
You got hurt but you'll pull through this. You always have. You promised him. And you are one of the toughest people he knows.
Levi tries to convince himself as he glared back at Zeke. He tries to distract himself from the cold fear of losing you with the blinding rage he feels for the Beast Titan wielder. But then, the door swings open again and Levi felt something terribly wrong right away.
And when Connie appears with tears sliding down his face and says,
"Y/n-san.. is dead."
Levi's entire world shifts.
Everyone was shellshocked for a moment. Because how could you be gone just like that? When you were just with them just minutes ago providing comfort to all of them? Passing by and giving them a wave of peace and calmness like the angel that you are.
Hange wobbles, her knees growing weak and its as if someone had punched her in the chest. The pain reminiscent as the day she watched Moblit vanish before her eyes. You were her right hand woman. Her confidant.
Eren's head hung in disbelief. His mind clouded by your kind smile just earlier and telling him you're actually glad to see him. Him. The monster who had just devastated a whole town and killed probably thousands of people. He thought that by now, he'd have gotten used to losing the people around him but losing you is gutting him. Its was like losing family. A sister.
"Connie.. did Y/n-san have any last words?" He asks mindlessly, wanting to know what your last thoughts were. Connie blinks through his tears and his eyes drifts to the captain, whose face was undreadable and knuckles threatening to split open at how tightly his balled fists are clenched.
"She said.. 'Protect him.'" Connie mutters and Levi's facade breaks.
The mob of weeping soldiers parted as the captain staggers to the back of the ship where you lay. Armin and Mikasa were still curled up beside you, their faces red and puffy from wailing. Both of them reluctantly stood up and stepped away as he walks closer. His gaze was still trained on the ground as he puts one foot in front of the other.
He shudders and stop midstep as his foot steps on the crimson stained wood. Before he knows it, he falls on his knees with a thud. Your pale hand comes into his field of vision and he takes a deep shakey breath as he reaches for it. His eyes darts everywhere but your face. The bandage on your middle, the boots on your feet that he had his fair share of shinning as his token of appreciation for you making his morning teas, the emblem of the Wings of Freedom embedded on your breast plate.
Your hand felt cold and stiff against his. A stark contast of the warmth it exuded on his cheek just moments ago.
"Y/n?" He croaks.
Suddenly his breathing shallows as the deafening silence stretches on. He can still smell you but can no longer feel you although you're right fucking there. Levi wanted this to some fucked up nightmare. But then, as he steels his nerves and finally looked at your face, his heart shatters.
Your hair is uncharacteristically dishevelled, e/c eyes lifeless, pupils middilated and your mouth parted ever so slightly.
Levi pulls you in his arms frantically, plethora of would have been and should have been anchoring his heart into a sea of regret.
He should have never let you out the damn door.
He should have held you tighter.
He should have you talked to you longer.
He should have told you.. he loves you.
He never even got to tell you.
Levi's face crumples, face reddening before a resentful yell erupts from him. The soldiers wince at the sound. It was pure agony and it pierces through each and everyone of them, bringing the lot of them back to tears if they ever stopped in the first place.
The entire flight back to Paradis, Levi held you the way he wished he did while you were still with him.
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