#fuck your harrow bitch
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Okay if you need me I'll be writing the "Mercymorn and Augustine live" AU.
#Harrow the Ninth FUCKS#i cannot reccomend TLT enough#read it for the memes.#read it for 'my bones will rest easy next to your bones'#read it for 'i am sick of roses and *horny for revenge*'#read it bc god finds out he has a kid and IMMEDIATELY makes a dad joke#read it bc mercymorn and augustine are miserable bitches but all they have is easy other#go read TLT or i will break into your house and put the books where you WILL find them#go read TLT#i am undone tyvm
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Kinda scary how okay proshippers are with hanging out with baby rapers under the guise of "they only want it in fiction" 😂😂😂
#bitch you should be ARRESTED!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK#that “art” is seared into my mind and i can't go a single day without thinking of it and being reminded of my own trauma (:#if you are or support l*lis*o or b*bycon you aren't “neutral” you're a dirty filthy proshipper#who exposes victims to your disgusting fetishization of real world trauma that happens to kids every single day#some kids commit suicide over being m*lested fun fact! but at least you got your rocks off right?#fucking criminal#and knowing these... THINGS... are able to blend in with regular people and that they even hang out with MINORS...#ugh#i'm sick#i have to stop talking about this now i'm genuinely harrowed#anti proship#suicide cw#molestation cw#the official disk horse tag#jackie's advice column
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i know im still on chapter 6 but like. harrow gave herself a lobotomy so she wouldnt have to deal w losing gideon didnt she. i guessed dulcinea was bad really soon too so im confident in this prediction
#tlt#she keeps saying 'raghgraaagrhgaaa im crazy im fucking CRAZY !!' and i tell her no bitch. youre just dramatic#like harrowhark you idiot if you were seeing things since gtn i wouldve known be for real#ok less confident abt that one. but still#i think the body might be a side effect of the lobotomy#bc otherwise im pretty sure she wouldve told gideon abt it sooner. so.#also i thought gideon was the body for a moment there ngl but now i know its the tomb girl#who i THINK! is either nona or alecto. if theyre even different people.#why do i think that? no idea. i just think shes too important for one of the books not to be named after her is all#anyway. not sure what the emperors deal is but i want harrow to be his favorite so So bad#also dont fucking spoil me ill kill myself
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One of my favorite griddlehark moments was
Gideon: fuck you I've been keeping my head down and not talking to anyone
Harrow: punching the Third's bitch boy is keeping your head down?
Gideon: you saying I shouldn't have done that?
Harrow: no, you should have done it harder, but that's not the point.
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hiiii hope ur doing well !! this is for the "the magic is yours" portion of the 2k event: ot5 with an oral fixation that's so bad giving pleasure turns them on more than receiving pleasure.
[2K Masterlist]
ot5 x fem!reader // wc: 2.7K ; around 500 per member //genre: established relationship, smut, MDNI.
warnings: service top! txt // yj: dom!yj, sub!mc, oral (f. rec and allusions to m. rec), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, car sex, semi-public sex // sb: no established dom/sub dynamics, marking, insinuated free use and somnophilia (consensual), oral, (f. rec) breast play // bg: switch!gyu, switch!mc, oral (f rec), manhandling, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, dry humping, hair pulling, (m. rec) pet names, (baby, puppy) name calling, (bitch) unprotected sex, creampie // th: dom!tyun, sub!mc, oral, (f. rec), praise kink, face sitting // hk: no established dom/sub dynamics, oral, (f. & m. rec) breast play, biting, cum eating, creampie, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, dacryphilia, aftercare
notes: yes i know i said i was in a disastrous tyun mood and i still am, i always am, (hence the header) but then i remembered this ask and couldn’t stop thinking about txt who can’t survive a day without tasting you. Service tops will forever have my heart, thank you for this anon… you know me too well <3 (barely edited haha...)
[Yeonjun]
Yeonjun isn’t really sure when this happened— when he realized that he’d rather spend his time in between your legs rather than the other way around; he was always more inclined to receive than give in his past relationships, claiming to be addicted to the sight of his partners struggling to take him in, teary eyes and drooly face determined to make him feel good— and yeah, that’s nice and all, but Yeonjun knew he was a goner the moment he first went down on you.
Sweet whimpers, thighs that shake around his head and threaten to close in on him, your restless body that writhes and arches against the sheets— fuck, he swore he almost came untouched the first time you had sex, eyes widening at the feeling of your shaky fingers threading into his hair and pulling him closer to your sopping cunt, grinding against him with breathless whines of his name— and he couldn’t bring himself to pull away from you, even when you were shaking and crying from the overstimulation, cooing softly that he’s just trying to prep you, that you can handle one more— but that’s a lie and he knew that, much too obsessed with seeing you fall apart on his tongue again to care if you believed him.
And after months of begging to go down on you practically every hour of every day, Yeonjun finally decided to accept the harrowing truth; he’d much rather give you pleasure than receive it at all, and he’d spend eternity in between your thighs if he could— and you, well you’re not complaining at all. If anything, you took your chance to give him a taste of his own medicine and tease him relentlessly, your wardrobe piling with cute dresses and skirts that you were ready to unleash the moment summer came around.
And when the season finally came… oh, Yeonjun was a goner. Almost popping a boner the moment he saw you come out of your home for the picnic the two of you planned out, donned in a pretty sundress that hugged and exposed your body perfectly— he almost crashed the car when he glanced over at you and noticed the way the skirt hiked up to expose the soft, smooth skin of your thighs to him.
You expected this outcome, really; unable to make it out of the car as he pulled you to the backseat of his car, spending a good thirty minutes laying on his seats and left to his mercy before you finally emerged with shaky legs, hand placed daintily on his shoulder as he guided you up the hill, one hand placed on the small of your back and the basket in the other, talking your head off about who-knows-what while you tried to pretend you hadn’t just been given some of the best head of your life.
Yeonjun tops it easily the moment you’re settling down— he doesn’t even bother to eat before his head finds itself under your dress, licking at your clothed cunt because of how desperate he is to finish what he started— by the time he’s finally satiated, you’re entirely spent, face flushed at the way he tells you to take a nap, patting your head fondly as he shakes his head at your offers to return the favor.
You think you’ll wear sundresses more often.
[Soobin]
Soobin is someone who is simply unashamed of the fact that he needs to have something in his mouth 24/7. It was a cute habit that endeared you when you first met him, always spotting a lollipop in his mouth every time you saw him, whether that be on his walk to class or while he was studying— he kept a bag of it in his book bag, he told you, ears tinged with embarrassment as you laughed and cooed about how cute he was.
Inevitably, that habit transferred seamlessly into your relationship; you didn’t think much of it, at first— to you, he was simply overly affectionate, unfazed of the way he constantly begged you for kisses, sweet tongue slipping into your mouth and messily making out with you for hours— lazily cuddling on the couch, a big hand on the swell of your ass as he kept you still, swollen and sensitive lips still pressing messy pecks against yours as you whined that you had to go to the bathroom, or you had an assignment that you needed to work on— you could never get out of his arms without hearing his incessant whines telling you not to go.
But as your relationship progressed and you slowly began to get touchier, that habit of his became more of an inconvenience to you— leaving splotchy marks on your neck without you noticing, nights where you would fall asleep with his head tucked into the crook of your neck ending with you shifting in the odd hours of the night, feeling Soobin’s pouty lips sucking and kissing at the canvas of your neck absentmindedly— and you’d have to spend a good chunk of your mornings attempting to conceal the mess he left on you, your apologetic and sleepy boyfriend clinging to you in the bathroom as he whined and whined about how sorry he was— but you really doubted it.
So was it really much of a surprise when Soobin finally confessed his oral fixation to you with a red, flustered face? It truly wasn’t, but seeing him confide in you about it allowed him to find himself in what he liked to call his personal paradise— in other words, the interesting little arrangement the two of you conjured up.
One pouty look from your boyfriend was enough to have you rolling your eyes fondly and tugging your shorts off— scrolling on your phone while Soobin’s hair brushed against your inner thighs, soft lips sucking and pulling your swollen clit into his mouth as he ran his tongue along it, moaning into your cunt that only clenched around nothing pathetically— waking up in the mornings to see your boyfriend had already begun to make himself busy, legs thrown over his broad shoulders and button nose pressing against your clit as he fucked you with his tongue and slurped at your arousal desperately. Movie nights where you were innocently cuddled on the couch turning into you trying your best to focus on the movie while Soobin bit and suckled at your breasts, trying to hold back tears at the way he left them bruised and sensitive afterwards— and if you shed a few stray ones and scolded Soobin to give you a break, he didn’t really mind— he was more than happy to move onto your lips or cunt instead.
[Beomgyu]
Beomgyu, who moans like crazy whenever he eats you out, messy and desperate and nasty that you’re unable to keep up with him, helpless against his hold as he merely throws your legs over his shoulders, practically pressing your thighs against your stomach from the way his hands remain on the underside to caress your skin, all in a feeble attempt to get closer to you— and it wasn’t as though it made much of a difference, his face already pressed firmly against your pussy and his hips rutting into the mattress as he brought you to countless orgasms, always telling you “one more, just one more baby,” but lying like the little sadist he is, holding you down and not letting you squirm away as he brought you to tears practically every night.
“What? I just think you look hot when I go down on you,” is what he tells you when you try to question why he just can’t stop asking you if he can eat you out, giving you an innocent and puppy eyed look— but you know it’s more than that, always used to your previous partners treating eating you out like a chore— and you weren’t exactly oblivious to the times where he’s been so lost in your cunt he could only hump into the mattress pathetically, moaning breathily into your cunt and setting a pace that matched the way he was fucking desperately into the sheets— and if Beomgyu thought you didn’t pick up on the many times he was able to cum from that alone, whining against your pussy and soiling his boxers completely, he was sorely mistaken.
This front of his was quickly beginning to irritate you; exasperatedly shaking your head whenever you’d have to tell Beomgyu no, you can’t eat me out under the table right now. Finish your food, and having to deal with his predictable pouts and whines pleading you to just give in.
So when you inevitably find Beomgyu between your thighs once more, you decide to test something out— watching with lidded eyes as he takes his time running his tongue along your slit, circling your clit and licking at it softly, eyes closed with bliss— and your hand is sneaking down to tangle in his long hair the moment you notice his hips beginning to grind, getting a good grip and tugging harshly; the broken moan Beomgyu lets out at the pain tells you all you need to know.
“Fuck, desperate puppy just can’t get enough, hmm?” you coo out, his glassy eyes looking up at you and nodding, face twisted in a wince as you tug again— and he whines, hands rubbing your thighs sweetly as he pleads for you to let him keep going, to let you feel good.
“Y’want it that bad?” you ask indifferently, throwing your leg leisurely over his shoulder and watching his face heat up, eventually giving you a small nod, “Fine. But I don’t want to see you humping the bed like a pathetic bitch.” and you’re shoving him back into your dripping cunt, feeling him move feverishly against you with every tug of his hair— and while he follows your orders nicely, the night ends with him almost crying the moment you tell him to fuck you; so immersed in making you feel good over and over that he neglected his throbbing and leaking cock, cumming pathetically the moment he sinks into you— and his lips latch onto your neck with every broken sob of his, leaving you to wonder if your cunt is really the only thing he likes to have his mouth on.
[Taehyun]
This man thinks he’s slick. Is in absolute denial that he has an oral fixation of any sort, just believes that it’s just because you’re really hot and he simply wants to make you feel good. He’s never experienced this with any of his other partners, so why should he care? It must stem from the dynamic the two of you have— his need to pleasure you like crazy, that is. There’s just something about you that raised his sex drive beyond comprehensible limits, and he just found it even hotter that you willingly took anything he gave you; multiple rounds? Sure, you can handle it. Being rough with you? You’re into that, you’ll take whatever he tries on you. Whatever he springs up on you, you take it like it’s nothing, rewarding him with your sweet sounds and pretty faces he ingrains into his mind.
So the first time Taehyun eats you out, he’s hooked— your taste is so addicting and you sound so pretty, round eyes looking up between your legs to catch the way your face flushes and your mouth falls open, legs jumping and closing in on his head, threatening to suffocate him. Your hips buck up and your clit bumps against his nose when you cum, making you keen in a way that almost has Taehyun spilling in his sweatpants then and there; your nimble fingers run through his hair absentmindedly, spilling praises and sighs of his name that drive him mad.
Fuck—! So— s-so good, so good to me tyunnie– ah! Hah, ughhh fuck, just– just like that, god, Taehyun—!
Was it really unreasonable for him to want to eat you out every second of the day if you sounded like that? Taehyun doesn’t think so.
Thus begins the absolute agony that is Taehyun asking if he can just please, please give you head, trying to disguise it under reasons that at some point, stop making sense.
You look really good in that skirt— can he give you head? Oh, you’re studying, you should take a break. Can he give you head? You’re restless, unable to sleep, tossing and turning and sighing desperately— and he turns to you, startling you because what the fuck I thought you were asleep, pushing past your surprise to tell you that sex can help tire you out and sleep. Can I give you head?
Practically jumps with joy on the days you actually agree, going down on you then and there, no matter the circumstance— dropping to his knees in the kitchen, throwing your legs over his shoulders on the couch, laying on the bed and telling you to sit on his face with bright, sparkling eyes— and he enjoys it just as much as he did the first time, letting you fuck yourself on his tongue and sucking on your clit with his swollen lips, staring at you with eyes of adoration and need each time; he doesn’t even care if he gets to fuck you at the end of it, (though that’s always a plus) all he wants to do is watch his favorite girl cum on his face.
[Hueningkai]
This man. Can— and does— spend hours at a time between your legs; he just loves to have his mouth on you, loves to lay down on the bed, on his stomach as he lazily licks at your clit, wanting to take things slow as you run your fingers through his hair and sigh about how good it feels. Will be in bliss as he eats your pussy, eyes shut and pretty nose bumping against your clit as he fucks you with his tongue, large hands placed on your tummy and rubbing it fondly because he just can’t get enough of you— he’s infatuated with you, with your soft skin and the way you moan out his name, not even searching for his own pleasure as he solely focuses on yours.
It’s become routine for you two at this point; running to you when he’s had a bad day, wanting nothing more than to kiss you and use you as his cute little destresser. Starting it off with slow kisses, feeling the way he moves along your jawline and down your neck, lifting your shirt up to expose your breasts— and he spends quite a while there too, watching your nipples grow stiff and sensitive from the attention he give them, biting teasingly and listening to the way you squeal at the feeling— and of course, it all ends with his head between your legs, peppering kisses along your inner thighs and on your clit, leaving open-mouthed kisses on it as he watches you squirm and whine for him not to tease.
Kai, who gets drunk off your pussy and doesn’t even expect you to return the favor, genuinely surprised whenever you ask him if you can suck his dick or if he can please, please please just fuck you already. And he says yes, bending to your will and giving in to your puppy eyes that are glassy with desire; he’ll be mesmerized at the way you allow him to cum in your mouth, releasing so much that you can’t help but let it bead at the corners of your lips— and Kai is quick to bring you up for a kiss, messy tongues tangling together as he groans at the taste of his lingering cum on your mouth— or pulling out immediately on the nights where he’s fucked you to the point of exhaustion, looking down to see your cunt that drips with the multiple releases of his cum, unable to even protest the moment you see him spreading your folds gently and swooping down to clean you up; warm tongue running along your slit, curling inside you before he’s circling your clit, flicking gently as he listens to the way you mewl and cry at the overstimulation.
Kai, who’s not just obsessed with your cunt, but is also obsessed with you, never failing to pamper and coddle you endlessly, telling you how good you were for him with a fond smile, kissing your cheeks and tasting the salty tears that cling to your skin.
#txt fanfic#txt fanfiction#txt imagines#txt oneshots#txt ff#txt x reader#txt smut#txt hard hours#txt hard thoughts#soobin smut#yeonjun smut#beomgyu smut#taehyun smut#hueningkai smut#[2k event!]#[nsfw]#[the mic is yours]
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Now that I’ve finished it, here are more coherent/useful thoughts (under cut because spoilers)
Oh, this is so perfect. It’s SO perfect.
Ianthe loves being Ianthe. Ianthe loves being Ianthe more than anything else in the world—the closest she gets to loving any non-Ianthe person is loving her twin sister, and from the way Ianthe talks about Coronabeth, it’s pretty clear that it’s a distinctly acquisitive love, not a love based on knowing anything meaningful about Coronabeth as a person. Ianthe is, above all, extremely disinterested in getting to know anyone who isn’t the Most Interesting Girl in the World (Ianthe).
(I think that’s why she likes Augustine so much—he’s spent thousands of years crafting a perfectly blank persona, showing nothing of his interiority, leading Harrow to wonder if he even has any. Ianthe sees that and she’s like: awesome, finally somebody who’s not out to bore me with all their dumb complicated feelings, this guy’s the coolest ever, I want to be just like him)
So for Palamades to hit her with that—oh man. Oh MAN. Ianthe, in your quest to solidify Ianthe Tridentarius as an eternal unchanging paragon of Awe, you have become… not Ianthe. And you were too obsessed with your own Ianthe-ness to even see it.
You thought you could make the devil’s bargain with counterfeit currency and now the bill’s come due. Killing Babs is no big deal because “who cares about Babs?” Baby, YOU cares about Babs! You IS Babs now, bitch! Your perfect immutable self? You went and MUTED it!
God, it’s the perfect way to cut a self-obsessed person to the core. You love yourself so much? The person you love doesn’t fucking EXIST, Ianthe. You invited a permanent roommate into your soul and you don’t even LIKE him and now you’re on the lease together forever and you did it to yourself
The unwanted guest isn’t Palamades. The unwanted guest is Babs.
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I just did my skincare routine, as one does, and I had an idea: spa night with Wriothesley! He’s reluctant to try it out at first, but now it’s his favorite way to relax and spend time with his beloved :,))
This !! Is !! So !! Cute !!
It wasn't a regular thing— not at first.
Wriothesley wasn't the type of person to put too much care into their skin before. You still remember the horror you felt when you learned he did little more than washing his face with tap water in the morning or evening. He'd been blessed by whichever archon was in charge of clear skin, you swore up and down for the longest time.
But all it took was him coming back early one evening, just in time to catch you in the middle of your skincare routine and a hesitantly asked, "...What's this?" as he held one of the many, many bottles in your stash aloft in his palm, and the rest is history.
Now, you've got him on his back, head rested in your lap and his eyes shut in relaxation. One of your cotton headbands keeps his spiky hair from brushing his forehead— the pastel colors are an adorable contrast to the dark strands.
"So then when I got to the store, there was this bitch who tried to fight me for the last box of pancake mix, even though I got my hands on it first. That motherfucker told me to go get my own pancake mix, and i told her, 'I just fucking did'," you say to him, recounting the harrows and drama of your day. Your hands are on Wriothesley's cheeks, gently massaging a moisturizing toner into his skin while he lays there and listens to you.
"Uh-huh, you go, sweetheart." There's the slightest of proud smirks growing on his lips, even as he keeps his eyes closed.
You nod vigorously, appreciating his support. As you turn back to the basket of goodies beside you, you debate on what to put on his face next.
"Hey love," you call him, and one of Wriothesley's icy blue eyes opens. You raise two bottles where he can see them, shaking each. "What are you feeling tonight? The squalane or the niacinamide?"
He hums in the back of his throat, thinking. Then shuts his eyes. "The niacinamide."
You have to fight back a grin, gently tucking the glass bottle for your squalane serum back into your basket. Before you can drop some of Wriothesley's chosen serum on your palms though, he quickly takes hold of one of your hands, pressing a kiss to the back of it.
"Thanks, sweetheart," he mumbles, voice little more than a content rumble, lips ticklish against the back of your hand.
Before you can respond, he gives your hand back to you, and the quirk of his lips is back in place.
"Well?" He asks, leaning his weight even more into your lap. Not unlike a puppy, luxuriating in your hold. Hazily, his eyes meet yours even as he blinks drowsily. Soft and fond as they train on you. "I don't believe you were done telling me about that box of pancake mix."
[ #Taglist registration here !! ]
#astronetwrk#「 🐈⬛ 」 catcze.desserts#wriothesley x reader#genshin impact x reader#cw gn reader#genshin impact#wriothesley
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how to fly
satoru gojo x f!reader
content: fear of heights + stairs. reader calls satoru the worlds strongest cunt and satoru's a little bitch but also kind of a lil sweetie. megumi + tsumiki kiddos too :))
an: based on a request I received from @luna0713hunter I hope you like it sweetie pie!!!
request: satoru helping reader get over a fear of heights/stairs
--
You love Satoru Gojo. Your partner in crime - since you were mission partners during your first year at Jujutsu Tech and now partners in everything else, that mattered anyways. Life, love, two very grumpy pre-teens. What’s not to love?
His affinity for being a little bitch.
He’s currently sitting on the porch of your tiny town house, ankles danglinging off the black tiles. His back is pressed against the angled roof, resembling the black cat that often sunbathes in your shared lawn.
You grab one of the sticks from the yard and throw it up, catching his attention. At the stick making contact with his face, he sits up, rubbing the now pink spot on his forehead.
“Ouch, sweetheart. You could have just hollered for me.”
“Get off. Now. We have to go pick up Megumi from school.”
“No, I love you? No light of my life, father of my children-”
“We don’t have children.”
“Yes, we do!”
“They’re not our biological children, asshat. Can you just come down now? Please?”
You can feel it - the itching in your throat, the sweating in your palms, pins and needles burning in your stomach. Satoru’s just so, so high and just so, so close to the edge that even the sight of him makes you sick.
Logically, rationally - Satoru Gojo is the strongest. A fall from a few feet high wouldn’t hurt him and knowing him, he’d take it as an opportunity to start doing some next level gymnastics to show off to the old lady who lives across the street.
But fears aren’t logical or rational. Because in your heart of hearts, you know that Satoru will be okay if he falls. And you’ll be okay walking up and down the stairs and Satoru trying to take you on a date to the tallest building he can find so you two can get a view of the city would actually be very, very romantic.
But it isn’t. Not for you anyway. Because that sinking feeling, that chill down your spine returns every time he brings it up.
Logically, rationally - Satoru’s your partner, you’ve been together in everything since you were fifteen. A mere fear like this should be nothing when you've shared almost everything with him.
But it feels silly to tell him that you’re scared of heights when you two basically dance with death every time you leave the house. You’ve hung upside down in curses mouths, literally been stuck in the most harrowing of situations, but free suspension in the air is what gets you.
“Asshat? You wound me, doll. Now you have to come here and kiss it better.”
You can feel your eyes nearly boggle out of your sockets as you look up at him, smirking down at you. His blindfold is hanging loose around his neck - a habit of his whenever he’s around you. He just knows that his pretty blue eyes can make you do almost anything he wants, even climb onto a fucking roof to kiss him.
“Satoru. It’s almost ten past three. Megumi gets upset whenever we’re late.”
“Then make it quick! Climb up here and give me a little kiss and we can leave.”
You love Satoru Gojo. And you really, really hate his affinity for being a little bitch.
“How do I get up there? I'm not the world’s strongest cunt like you.”
“That’s two kisses now, pretty girl. And there’s a ladder up the side.”
You feel your knees wobble as you walk over, a silver, very rickety-looking ladder, mind you, propped up against the door.
You close your eyes, uncurling and curling your balls out of their little fists as you brace yourself to go get him. It’s just a ladder. It’s just a few steps, and then you’ll be on the roof, which is plenty safe. And Satoru’s right there. Nothing can happen to you if he’s right next to you and-
“Whatcha doing, Y/N?”
You look up to find Satoru’s little tufts of white hair peeking down at you, a glimmering smile still pressed on his face.
“Praying to the gods. Hoping they can make you less of an idiot."
“Three kisses now, my sweet. Quit insulting me!”
You shakily put your hands on the first rungs, your hands so clammy and sweaty that you can feel your grip shaking. He’s still watching you - rather laxly though since he’s literally on the phone with Ijichi.
“Yeah, yeah. You might have to go get Megumi. Y/N is taking forever on her ladder.”
“Well, I asked her to go on it. She has to come give me three kisses for insulting me before we leave to get him.”
“No, I am not messing with her and fine, we’ll go get him if you’re so busy.”
He clicks his phone off, shuffling around on the roof as he puts it back in his pocket. You’re nearly halfway there, your stomach a horrible mess of knots and the tears burning in your eyes.
When you reach the top, Satoru holds one hand out to you, which you begrudgingly take as you try your best to plant your feet on the ladder.
Don’t think about it shaking. Don’t think about falling back. Don’t think about the ladder breaking.
His face is a few feet away from yours, the smile on his face spread wide. You’re trying your best to blink away your tears, nearly heaving in front of him.
“Hi princess.”
“Satoru.”
“That’s a total of three kisses for me. For asshat, world’s strongest cunt, and praying for the gods to fix me. You should know by now that this problem is unfixable.”
“Evidently.”
“Four now, baby.”
You roll your eyes as you lean forward, pressing two kisses to each of his cheeks, one on his forehead, and a peck on his lips. You pull back quickly, getting ready to get the fuck off this ladder so fast, but he pulls forward, basically hanging his torso off the roof as he grabs your face, locking your lips together again. When he pulls apart, he’s smiling at you like there’s no tomorrow and the panic in your stomach is so bad that you want to vomit off the side of the roof.
“Let’s go get ‘Gumi. He’s probably pissed already.”
--
You lean against the cold glass, trying to soothe your headache as you watch Satoru harass Megumi in the pick-up area, a very horrible habit he had. Satoru, the charismatic freak he was, loves to talk to all of Megumi’s little friends, much to Megumi’s dismay.
He’s currently hanging Itadori and Megumi both by their ankles, swinging them around in the air, as they wait for Itadori’s grandpa sick. Even the sight of them, the tiniest bit above the ground makes you nauseous, making you hold your head between your knees.
You keep your head there for what feels like an hour and you know the two of them have returned when you can hear Satoru’s teasing and Megumi’s protests.
“Satoru. You’re so embarrassing.”
“Aw, Megumi-chan. Don’t talk like that to your father.”
“You’re not his father.”
“You’re not my father.”
You lift your head up to give Megumi a smile through a rear-view mirror, which he acknowledges with a nod when Satoru starts driving. Satoru mindlessly reaches over, locking his hands with yours as he talks to Megumi. The softness of his hand is comforting and you crack each of the knuckles on his hand, as you listen to Satoru and Megumi bicker.
When you reach home, Megumi running off into the house to pee, while you find Tsumiki home from her class, lying down across the porch. You lean against the back of the car as Satoru grabs Megumi’s backpack and joining you at your side.
“You okay, love?”
“Yeah, Toru. Why?”
“No reason. You were cracking my knuckles in the car. You only do that when you used to get all…anxious, when we started doing missions.”
“Oh. That was just retribution for earlier. You can be really annoying.”
“That’s one kiss for m-”
“No.”
He pouts as he drops Megumi’s backpack onto the curb, snaking his hands against your waist as he smirks at you. You can feel your heart drop in your chest as you realize what Satoru’s about to do.
“Wait, Toru don’t-”
You pinch your eyes shut as you feel the cold air and Satoru laughing in your ear. You can feel that there’s no ground beneath your feet and knowing Satoru fucking Gojo, he’s probably suspened the two of you so high in the air that you’ll vomit if you open your eyes.
“Open your eyes.”
You shake your head blindly, clinging on for dear life as you wrap your arms around Satoru’s neck and your legs around his waist.
“Sweetheart, this is kind of kink-”
“Satoru. Please, please put me down.”
“Where’s the fun in that? Look down, Megumi and Tsumiki look like little ants looking up at us.”
Little ants. Meaning your two tiny little pre-teens are so far that they look like ants. That you can’t even make their faces out. Meaning, Satoru took you so fucking high that you can barely even see people standing on the ground. You clench harder on his shirt, burying your forehead into his neck as you try to focus on his senses.
His smell, the feel of his hair in your hands, and the sound of his voice. Granted the latter isn’t quite helping when he’s telling you how high you fucking are and his stupid hands are the reason you’re in this situation, you try your best to stop it. Stop crying, stop panting, stop freaking out.
The second you sniffle, you hear all of the joking leave Satoru’s voice.
“Hey, sweetheart are you crying?”
You choke back your own tears, your voice breaking as you respond.
“N-no, Toru. Please put me down.”
“Love, hey. I’ll take you down right now, I’m sorry.”
You’re not sure when you feel your feet back on the ground, but you’re still clutching onto Satoru for dear life when you hit the curb. You’re only cognizant of the fact when Tsumiki and Megumi wrap their arms around your legs, their soft voices asking you if you’re okay.
You open your eyes to find the three of them with matching, concerned looks on their faces, Satoru’s jaw tight against his mouth. Tsumiki tugs on the bottom of your pants, her brown eyes staring back up at you.
“Do you want to eat ice cream, now?”
“Sure, Miki. Let’s go.”
She holds her hand out, leading you back into the house as you wipe away your tears, with Satour and Megumi following. You can hear the two of them bickering behind you, your head pounding too hard and your breaths too uneven that you can’t tell them to stop.
“What did you do, Satoru?”
“Nothing, ‘Gumi! I was just showing her the view.”
“One day, when she leaves you, I’m going to go with her.”
“Gumi.”
You sit down at the kitchen table, Megumi at your side as Tsumiki and Satoru grab the industrial tub of chocolate ice cream Satoru bought last week. You feel Megumi link his fingers with yours under the table, giving your fingers a squeeze as you press your head against the table.
You’re on the ground. You’re okay. You can’t fall because there’s nowhere to fall and you’re sitting at the kitchen table. Satoru’s here so you’ll be okay and nothing can happen.
You feel Satoru’s hands in your hair and you look up to find that he’s evicted a very-annoyed Megumi from his seat next to you. There’s four spoons on the table and the ice cream open. You reach forward first, the cooling sensation and Satoru next to you soothing the panic in your chest, the needles and pins in your stomach less strong.
“Are you okay, Y/N?”
“Yes, Miki. Thank you for the ice cream, sweet girl.”
She gives you a soft smile as the four of you eat the ice cream in silence, your breathing slowing down as you finish.
--
Megumi and Tsumiki run off after your little ice cream snack, the sun dipping into the horizon as you look out the window. Satoru’s in the kitchen, making Megumi and Tsumiki’s lunches for tomorrow.
No stairs today. You reach for the spare cabinet in the living room as pull out a pair of pillows and blankets for the night.
On most days, the stairs up to your bedroom are manageable. But after today - your entire foundation is off. Even one step up, and you know you’ll have a full-blown panic if you even try to get up there. You hear Satoru drop the spoon he was holding as he gives you a spare glance, the stack of pillows and blankets in your hand.
You watch his expression drop as he walks over to you, taking the pillows from your hands so he can hold you.
“Love. Are you really that upset with me that you’re going to sleep on the couch?”
“Satoru, I-”
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I just wanted to show you how the city looked and I don’t know what I did wrong but-”
“It’s not that, it’s just-”
“You mean the world to me. I would never want to make you upset so please don’t sleep downstairs today. We can talk about it, you can slap me, but just-”
“Gojo.”
He’s quiet at the sound of his family name, nervous blue eyes peering into yours as he holds your hands. It’s his turn to shake, his usual smiley face so sad it makes you squelch. One thing you love about Satoru?
His love for others.
“Satoru. I’m not…mad at you. I just…can’t go upstairs.”
You watch his confusion spread across his face as he brings his hands up to cup your cheeks, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before you keep talking.
“I…can’t. The stairs- and getting up there, it’s just…too much.”
“The stairs, sweet? What’s wrong with the stairs?”
“It’s not just the stairs. It’s the ladder and you hanging Megumi and Itadori in the air and sitting on the roof and taking me in the air and-”
“Y/N. Are you…scared of it? The stairs?”
You swallow hard as you press your head against his chest, your cheeks burning at the admission.
“Yes. And heights. And I know it’s stupid because we literally fight curses all the time and-”
“It’s not stupid.”
“It is and I don’t want to be scared of it, but I just…I just can’t help it, Satoru. It makes me panic, I want to throw up, and my hands get all sweaty-”
Satoru pulls his arms around your waist as he holds you up, crushing you in one of his warm hugs. You can hear him whispering against your ear, tears lightly flowing as he tells you it’s okay. The two of you stand there for a while, Satoru’s head pressed against your shoulder, his embrace warm.
“Sweetheart?”
“Yes, Satoru?”
“Can I…help you? You don’t have to be scared of this and I don’t want you to feel this way. I’ll walk you through it, slowly. You know I’d never let anything happen to you and I-”
You squeeze him hard, your chest burning at how sweet he can be.
“Please? But, can we start tomorrow? I just…need a day.”
“Yes, silly girl. We can start next year if we have to. Just let me sleep on the couch with you.”
“Not big enough, Toru.”
“I’ll sleep on the floor. Just lean your hand over the couch so I can hold it.”
“Okay.”
--
You and Satoru are standing on the lawn, three days later. Megumi and Tsumiki are lying on the porch, sunbathing like Satoru did on the roof a few days ago. They’re fully equipped - with ice cream, puke bags, and three different self-help books Satoru bought to help you get over your fear.
He’s so stupid, it’s cute.
“Okay, my sweet. I think you’re ready. Just a little bit in the air okay? I’ll take you up and just open your eyes. If you freak out too much, tell me and I’ll take you down.”
“Okay.”
Satoru snakes his hands arond your waist and squeezes, which immediately elicits a scream from you. You can hear Megumi and Tsumiki’s groans the second you stop, tiny little “you can’t be serious” and a “there’s no way” from the two of them.
“Princess.”
“What? How high are we? Oh my god, Toru- I’m going to vomit. I hate you. You’re stupid.”
“We haven’t even left the ground yet.”
You look down to find you and Satoru’s feet planted firmly on the ground and then look back up to find Satoru laughing at you. You flick the top of his forehead, rolling your eyes at him in response.
“You’re mean, Satoru.”
“You’re so silly, sweet girl. We haven’t even moved yet!”
“Well, screw you. You squeezed so I thought that we did!”
“I was just trying to reassure you.”
“Well, you’re stupid.”
“That’s two kisses for you~~” he sings, eyes gliting into yours.
“No.”
--
Slowly but surely, your fear of heights and the stairs starts to fly away. The pins and needles are little pinpricks now and every time the fear rises up in you, Satoru - his soft voice and warm hands - are always there to will it down.
Three months later, Satoru takes you to fly.
And you actually enjoy it.
--
taglist: @porridgesblog
lmk if you want to be part of my jjk or permanent taglist by replying to this post or any of my writing :DD
#satoru x you#gojo satorou#satoru x y/n#gojo satoru#gojou satoru x you#satoru gojou#gojo saturo#satoru#satoru gojo#satoru x reader#satoru fluff#gojo x you#gojo x reader#gojo x y/n#gojo fluff#jjk#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk fluff#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro tsumiki#jujutsu megumi#satorugojo#jujustu kaisen#read more break#seeingivywrites!
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I could have just gone ahead and finished the book, but I adult life is interrupting so I stopped mid-fight and that's what you're getting, since I think it'll be a more sensible length this way.
previously, in gideon the ninth
this happened (also, this is the tag for all of the stuff)
currently, somewhere before ending the penultimate chapter, I think:
WELL, WELL, WELL
GUESS WHO WAS RIGHT ABOUT DULCINEA DEL TOBOSO SORAYA MONTENEGRO SEPTIMUS
I GOT YOU, BITCH
YOU DIDN'T GET PAST ME
ok, let's back it up a bit, but I needed to get that out of my chest for a sec
out of my guts, like the key she hid in the 5th necro bride's body
(too soon)
anyway, after yandere simulator w/inner chad left the room, gideon, harrowbean and my qp wife realized palmolive was gone
and everyone knows where he went because his dick has been a compass the whole time
or, like gideon puts it, he's been a weenie
camilla, the light in the dark, the sun to my moon, tells gideon and harrow that palmolive has been corresponding with dulcinea since he was like 8 and she was like 15 and he's been in love with her the whole time
and that he's made his lifelong purpose to save her life
there are many levels of Issues here
but at this point, we don't have time to unpack any suitcases
all this just proves to me that camilla has been carrying all the weight of the world on her shoulders even more, but anyway
they also feel confused as to why dulcinea has been ghosting palmolive massively since HE PROPOSED TO HER
palmolive, my man, my dude, just...what the fuck is your life
what are you doing, my guy
anyway, I immediately started thinking some soul possessing or some stuff like that could be going on, like she's not herself, but there's no time to theorize much
gideon feels terrible because she's been flirting with dulcinea in front of palmolive's salad all along and says something like "why do I have to be so attractive?" to which harrow answers something like "if you weren't, people would deck you after 5 minutes" which is a very good read
so gideon goes to find palmolive and he stops her with necro magic and enters dulcinea's room and outs her as the murderer
who is surprised??? not me, of course
so, basically, ducinea The Real One died at some point before arriving like protozoa, and this bitch here is a previous lyctor whose name I cannot remember so we will call her not!dulcinea
the real dulcinea was the other roasted body in the furnace
and protozoa was killed by her also which, again, the sword through the heart was a good indicator it wasn't an accident, but harrow was the only one who saw the body
non!dulcinea is a lyctor of the seventh that served the emperor and did the soul slurping thingy and already has her cav within her ("inside her" sounds...not great)
and she wanted to stir some shit up to get the man of the hour to show up and get revenge and whatnot
the emperor, coming back to canaan house from some holidays that took longer than he expected
it's not totally clear, because there's still a lot we don't know, but it sounds a bit like a toxic relationship with an authority figure
palmolive then proceeds to immolate himself like superman going super solar flare, but not being able to heal himself after, unlike superman
after that, all hell breaks loose
not!dulcinea tries to kill gideon
camilla tries to kill not!dulcinea
harrow also enters the fight and brings gideon's sword
like, the real one
you can hear the audience cheering when she catches her sword like it was filmed in front of a live studio audience
gideon and harrow team up against the mega massive monster junji ito concoction that killed isaac
they do the mind mesh thingy
harrow unlocks a new power
like in the sims
she also passes out for a bit
gideon gets her knee and shoulder fucked up
camilla is amazing and does amazing things
non!dulcinea seems to be too tough to win against
yandere simulator twin w/inner chad enters the chat
they fight like goku and vegeta for a while but non!dulcinea ends up using her like a battery
which is, to me, the revenge of duracell bunny nephew from beyond the veil or wherever he went
like, poetic cinema fate
I have no idea where regina george twin is at this point
last we saw of her, she was crying in a corner
which, mood tbh
so, where I left off for now, we've got three survivors accounted for: gideon, harrowbean and my qp wife, there's a lost twin somewhere in there and then there's yandere simulator twin being used as a charging pad by non!dulcinea
I want to take a moment to point out something, though
I want to briefly point out how MASSIVELY FUCKED UP EVERYONE WAS COMING INTO THIS
like, harrow was "oh no, we mustn't let people know you're not actually my cavalier and that I puppeteered my parents and that there's a frozen barbie in the ninth" and gideon was "oh no, I mustn't let people know I'm not a ninth cav and I don't use a rapier and I have a complicated relationship with my necro"
and everyone else LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE WAS BEYOND FUCKED UP
maybe the second weren't because they were ignorant asshats, but EVERYONE WAS MESSED UP
NOBODY HERE WAS FINE
you got the third, with a non necro princess and a feral real necro doing the work of both and chad as their support, look how that turned out so far
the fourth, who weren't tall enough to reach the top shelf and weren't even allowed their keys
the fifth who knew too much so they were goners after throwing a party
the sixth, with a guy who had the hots for a woman twice his age that he had a grey's anatomy fantasy to save that powered his entire reason to be there (and a cav who didn't use the right equipment but is great 10/10 no notes)
the seventh, who's THIS MESS
and the eight, who were doing the creepiest thing possible at all times and couldn't even do it properly
the only ones here who came in without dirty laundry were the second and that's why they were easy targets
everyone else was shady af
the best reality show you've ever watched
anyway, see you for the next one when we'll know who wins between one old lyctor and 3 bad bitches (or 4, if yandere twin is still alive, or 5 if regina george twin shows up again)
#luly reacts to tlt#tlt#gideon the ninth#the locked tomb#long post#gif cw#gideon the ninth spoilers#tlt spoilers#the locked tomb spoilers
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Sorry if this is a weird question, and if that's the case you can absolutely not answer, but how do you cope with having multiple full-time jobs and still having energy outside of work? Feels a bit like I'm dying of exhaustion every day over here lol
I've been ruminating for a few days on this ask because truly I struggle with this more than I want to admit. My jobs rarely leave me with energy outside of work, and I have gone through times in the last two years where working and sleeping were the only possibilities, and it sucks, and it is kind of embarrassing, but I have also found some ways to mitigate it even slightly which I am more than happy to share:
1. Schedule fun times (yikes)
It was a harrowing realization that I need to schedule hang outs and self care just like every meeting - weeks in advance, colour coded in both the calendar and the to do list - but since I started doing it, my success rate has skyrocketed. You either die a type b or live long enough to become a type a i guess
2. Bring your fun to work day
I will suggest anything that's fun to me as a work activity. I like drawing so you KNOW the ministry is littered with illustrations. My PowerPoints create envy across departments. I scout the world of my office for ways to have fun and I am not embarrassed to say so. I'm funmaxxing the grind. So what
3. Everyone is depressed bitch
Acknowledge that everyone your age is looking at their fifty-year olds in their work life with white-hot envy (WHEN THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TIME TO GARDEN) and that the loss of agency that comes with starting your career is normal and sad, but also means that...
4. Let's get some fruit
...you gotta stop thinking in old time frames of friendship expectations. people you haven't talked to for eight months will not be mad about your absence as they are stressed and hobbyless as well and will instead REJOICE at a scheduled hangout. I have friends I see once a year we love each other. no one is mad and everyone is stressed tf out LET'S HANG
5. Win the war not the fight
hey. listen to me. this isn't easy. it sucks coming home and feeling like having no agency left. and it's hard to break that cycle of exhaustion, and I fail all the time, when is the last time i saw the sun, oh god oh no my twenties. and if you feel like that is necessary in the time you are in, that is respectable. don't be mean to yourself for being stuck in a system that tries to squeeze all the energy out of you like a grape of some sort. you just gotta make sure you don't FORGET that you are a fully formed person with hobbies in another life. buy that plane model kit. bookmark that recipe. join that knitting group. i know you dont have time and energy. but your future self will thank you for paving the way.
I hope these are helpful. don't forget to have fun and be yourself. godspeed
#sent to you while building my beautiful model plane my friend bought for me because i couldnt find the energy to#this is a GROUP EFFORT
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Drake and Kiara: When You're Fucking Racist
Series - TRR's Alternative LIs - The "Romances" that Didn't Happen
Previous - Hana and Madeleine: When You Reward Your Favourite Bully with One of Her Victims
A/N: Again, apologies for the length. There was a LOT to unpack in this one!! I'm really, really not going to be nice to Drake here. It was harrowing to go through a lot of these scenes again and I honestly don't have the patience or inclination to sugarcoat any of it.
CW: Mentions of gun violence and minimization of trauma. Mentions of racist fan vitriol towards a black character. Examination of the Jezebel stereotype.
Whenever I think about how unhinged the hatred towards Kiara (and especially towards Kiara's attraction to Drake) was, a specific edit comes to mind.
On the surface, it looks quite simple. Kiara in a white wedding dress, Drake right next to her in his blue formal suit. Both of them are smiling at the viewer. The background is a beautiful forest, and the entire picture is bathed in a lovely, muted sepia tone. A sweet, simple wedding scene.
The caption underneath this edit?
Classify under things no one asked for.
Kiara's dream come true!
The tags read "#i barf a little looking at this" and "#i must post to share the suffering". You find out in the comments that the OP created this edit inspired by one of the many fics where Kiara was Drake's stalker, and intended to make her creepy and deranged (but ultimately failed).
The comments are...tbh, things that this fandom has long since normalized and shrugged at when it comes to Drake stans. Multiple puke-face emojis. Multiple gifs signaling disgust. One stan even equates the ship name (Driara) to the word diarrhoea.
"She looks very stalkeresque and white "I drugged Drake so he's marrying me" wedding ready!"
"Well it's close to Halloween so we should expect scary shit"
"THAT is why I made that bitch my Maid of Honor...so she got the message LOUD AND CLEAR...it ain't NEVER gonna happen honey" (right below a barfing gif)
I wish I could say this example of Kiara hatred was the worst of the lot, or even the only one. It wasn't. I'm not sure even an entire essay would be adequate space to explore the sheer levels of vitriol, hatred and double standards dumped on this one character.
Until now, we've seen examples of alternative LIs that were treated with respect. With adulation. Often with kid gloves in case we hurt their poor lill fee-fees. Up until now, no matter what an alternative LI may have done, the LI matched with them wasn't allowed to treat them badly, nor was the MC able to get away with hurting them without punishment.
But in this series, Kiara was, is, and will always be an anomaly.
The Jezebel Stereotype
In most media, black women in particular tend to be subjected to a variety of stereotypes that often have serious, real-world implications. The Mammy, the Sapphire (that over time evolved to what we now know as the "Angry Black Woman" stereotype) and the Jezebel, being the most prominent ones among them. In this essay, I will be focusing specifically on the last.
An article in the Black Then website explains the definition and history of the trope this: "The portrayal of black women as lascivious by nature is an enduring stereotype. The descriptive words associated with this stereotype are singular in their focus: seductive, alluring, worldly, beguiling, tempting, and lewd. Historically, white women, as a category, were portrayed as models of self-respect, self-control, and modesty – even sexual purity, but black women were often portrayed as innately promiscuous, even predatory. This depiction of black women is signified by the name Jezebel."
So it isn't altogether uncommon to see stories where black women are juxtaposed against "pure", "innocent" white/white-passing women, and viewed as lesser. PB hasn't exactly escaped these stereotypes in their stories either - though there are a variety of characters and character types, we can't deny that there was a time when a black woman was made the antagonist, often in ways that were meant to measure her up to the MC/another white woman to her detriment.
(VoS screenshots from the HIMEME YouTube channel, ACOR screenshots from Vika Avey's YouTube channel)
Two very prominent examples of PB using this trope are Scarlett from VoS, and Xanthe from ACOR. There are other black women who serve as antagonists but in a more professional space, but these two particularly are measured on their attractiveness, sex appeal and "purity" in the narrative in comparison to either the MC, or someone close to them.
In VoS, Scarlett Emerson and Kate O'Malley are the sisters of the two male LIs (Grant and Flynn), but their treatment couldn't be any more different. Scarlett's role in the book is pretty short-lived. She's very prominent in the first half of the book as Kate's potential MOH who secretly hates her, before it's revealed in Ch 5 that Tanner was cheating on Kate with her (and that she'd loved him since she was a child). Notably, in that very scene, the MC places most of the blame on Scarlett (rather than on Tanner for choosing to betray his fiancée) by labelling the act as her seduction of him.
Thereafter she is either only mentioned, or has blink-and-you-miss-it appearances in one or two chapters. We see her in the "memory" portion of the bonus scene, but we are never shown what her future is like (even as minor characters like Miss Harleney get one!). Her bonus scene shows us how her bracelet ended up on Tanner's boat, and it is an uncomfortable scene to get through. Tanner berates Scarlett for having sex with him a week before his wedding, but it is she who points out that he asked her to come there! Yet the MC and others view her as the temptress who "seduced" Tanner, as if the man had no mind of his own.
The narrative often juxtaposes her with Kate, the pure, innocent, sweet fiancée (and she actually is! No pretence there) and the fandom lapped it up. There were many demands for Kate to be upgraded to LI status, which eventually resulted in PB allowing us to marry her if we chose. As I mentioned earlier, both Scarlett and Kate are sisters to two of our LIs - but one is made an LI, while no one bothers to even imagine what the other's future entails.
An even worse fate greets that of Xanthe, the sole female antagonist in ACOR. The slut-shaming and disgust over her overt sexuality is far more blatant here. And it is extremely ironic for Xanthe to be viewed in this way, because the MC herself is a courtesan and uses wiles to get men to do her bidding. While Xanthe herself is not perfect by any means - she is depicted as xenophobic and callous, going as far as to mock Syphax when he is sent away to a possible death as a gladiator - the MC's targeting of her goes beyond just her "righteous indignation" and develops into a form of hypocrisy. She has no qualms mocking Xanthe for her direct approach or her skimpy red dress (even though the MC herself wears a skimpy red dress and can seduce a man in a temple not too long after).
The end Xanthe meets is horrific in its implications - the black matron of her scholae (who began by promising the MC herself that "you need do nothing against your will") sends her away to sexual slavery in Sicily, while the black man who was one of the few bastions of morality in the book, escorts her, smiling, to the ship that will take her there. As far as the narrative is concerned, the end was well-deserved...even though PB has had no issues allowing white women to do far worse without any punishment.
We cannot view what ACOR did with Xanthe in isolation. They had built up to it early on - from the MC's reactions towards her, her patrons' dismissiveness of her, the MC's LIs' viewing her with derision and zero respect. The MC - despite her own unscrupulousness - is viewed as the "noble whore" to Xanthe, yet it is clear on even a surface read that there is not much difference between the two women.
The Jezebel stereotype, ultimately, is about dehumanizing the black woman it focuses on, so that her actions and choices are viewed as deviant from what is "normal" - feeding into either responses of disgust and derision, or a desire to objectify her. To some readers, it makes whatever awful or comparatively unfair end they meet, more palatable. Scarlett and Xanthe are not viewed as people by the narrative - especially not the way the MC of their books or even white female antagonists are. No one cares for their backstories, coos over their losses, wonders if they are okay. When they meet their inevitable end, the characters and so many in the fandom alike just shrug and move along.
How does a character like Kiara fit into this? Her smarts and linguistic talents are her most prominent traits, and while she does have feelings for Drake, she never really acts out-of-pocket towards him (more on this later). So at least from what we see in canon, there's very little about her that seems to apply to the Jezebel stereotype. Yet, the fandom is not only inclined, but eager, to view her as one. Kiara's feelings have been viewed in a far more predatory light, perhaps more often than any other female character in the series. Why is this so?
A response I have often seen - on reddit, on Kiara's wiki page, at times on Tumblr too - is how there is a "certain something" about Kiara that people "just don't like". Many players who prefer Penelope to her are often very aware of what she has done, but still insist they like her far more than they do Kiara. On a reddit thread about questioning the logic of having Kiara and Penelope as options for the MC's MOH in TRR3, certain players commented thus:
"I don't know why, I just dislike her a lot. Penelope is fine to me, but Kiara irritates me." (said commenter is an Aerin stan)
"I liked Penelope, I thought she was nice. But Kiara got on my nerves."
In her book, The Sisters Are Alright, Tamara Winfrey Harris makes an eye-opening (to me at least!) observation about how misogynoir works:
"Misogynoir, abetted by dehumanizing caricature, is like water. It fills its vessel, taking many forms, and then overflows, creeping unnoticed into the cracks of things, rotting the foundation. It spreads a belief in Black women’s inherent wrongness." (Italics mine).
Now of course, if I were to ask the current fandom, they would come up with a range of reasons. Some that emerged from fandom myths and became more popular than the truth in time, some from PB's excessive pandering to players that hated her. But the root of it all is in a certain "je ne sais quoi" that makes her automatically unappealing, resulting in those readers leaning towards misreading or misremembering her scenes, misrepresenting her motives, or watering down the impact of worse actions from whiter women. It results in a group of writers (who have thus far gone to the extent of retconning the worst of a white woman's actions just to make her look good) leaning into such readings, even when they're not true.
TRR1 Kiara: Pragmatic Courtier or Backstabbing Snake?
"Kiara is fake", "Kiara is a snob", "Kiara is self-serving", "Kiara promised to be friends with us but dropped us like a hot potato the moment we became unpopular". These are some of the most enduring takes about Kiara in the past few years, and readers who say this usually bring up a vague recollection of TRR1 and 2 as proof. Mostly that "Kiara was our friend" in the first book, and left us hanging at the beginning of TRR2.
Is that reading based in fact, though? Let's take a look at TRR1!Kiara and find out.
We are introduced to Kiara (along with Penelope, and standing next to Hana) in TRR3 when we meet Liam's other suitors. Olivia introduces each woman differently, and the descriptor she uses for Kiara is that she is the "daughter of a diplomat and fluent in ten languages" (note: Kiara never boasts of her linguistic skill, Olivia does. Nor are there any scenes of her looking down on anyone who doesn't speak her mother tongue French, unless of course you accidentally ask her to sleep with you).
Both she and Penelope note immediately that the MC doesn't quite fit in - if the MC questions the women about being allies with Olivia, a woman who calls them "harpies", they view that as an overreaction. When the MC tells the ladies at the Derby about getting lost, Kiara finds her tardiness and inability to fit in, a sign that she cannot keep up with the competition. Until the chapters in Lythikos, Kiara's and Penelope's characterizations are almost interchangeable, personality-wise. It is likely the team envisioned them more as European nobility rather than specifically Cordonian (based on Olivia's introductions), and they are both depicted as poised, refined and aware of their place in court.
It's in Lythikos that Kiara, at least, begins to show a more distinct personality (for Penelope it's after the Regatta). Unlike the rest of the court, who watches Olivia's unwanted kiss on Liam with either mild shock or disinterest, Kiara is angered by what she sees as a very obvious power-play - which gives the MC the opening she needs to gain an alliance.
Now this "alliance" scene of Kiara's is interesting, for two reasons. One is that fandom often uses this scene to establish her "double standards" in TRR2, claiming that Kiara opted to be friends with the MC. Yet nowhere in the scene does the MC or Kiara ever suggest a friendship with each other - they both agree to an alliance. Furthermore, this is an arrangement that benefits the MC more - there isn't exactly anything she contributes (or is expected to contribute) to Kiara from her end. Kiara's promise is that she will put in a good word in the MC's favour, and she upholds that promise throughout the social season.
Another is that among the courtiers, Kiara herself is the first person to identify and respond to the MC's potential if she shows it at the Derby and the tea party (though Hana is also a courtier, I view her strictly as an LI in this context - since her support is by default and is founded on a more emotional basis). Not many nay notice this, but there is a distinction between how Kiara responds to an MC in a successful play vs a failplay...in a way that none of the other suitors do. Take note of the screenshots below:
The top two pictures in this collage are dialogues that feature by default. The bottom two, however, are dependent on branch-coding. They only appear IF the MC has managed to win the approval of the King, the Queen and the press. If you don't succeed in the same, she will not mention your performance in the social season at all, nor will she say anything about the value of your alliance.
That is a far bigger deal than most players of this series realize. It means that Kiara has been watching us closely, and has understood our potential over the course of just three court events. Only two other characters are shown tracking our progress this way: Bertrand (who is our sponsor, so he has to keep track) and Queen Regina (who can guess already her stepson's feelings for the MC, which automatically makes her a person of interest). For Kiara to understand the MC's capabilities, and to openly admit she has potential this early in the competition - it takes a high level of rationality, honesty and pragmatism to come to such a conclusion. Unlike Olivia (who lashes out in jealousy at the MC), Penelope (who has to be told why exactly it's good to have allies), and Madeleine (who dismisses us as competition until it's too late), Kiara actually views the MC with a discerning, impartial eye and an objective approach.
So on the surface, it appears as if Kiara is written by a team that likes her! You could almost be convinced that they thought she was cool but were forced to pander to "crazy Drake stans" in their writing later (which is an argument I have heard often). After all, she's established as beautiful, skilled, smart and observant. You wouldn't do that for a character you don't like, right?
But even as early as TRR1, a disdain for Kiara creeps in from the writing that you rarely see for any of the others.
This is especially apparent when you look at how Kiara's proficiency with language is spoken about. It is supposed to be her most visible skill - Olivia identifies her by it, we see her peppering her English sentences with French words (of course, many may argue that she doesn't exactly sound like an actual French person...but let's remember that her writers aren't exactly very used to the language themselves or interested in doing extra research for authenticity!). As we approach the end of the first book, there are at least two dialogue options that result in people doubting her abilities or mocking her for speaking only English and French most of the time.
In TRR1 Ch 16, Madeleine optionally speaks to the MC over phone (believing her to be a reporter taking her interview) about her thoughts on Kiara. Kiara's tendency to speak mostly in French and English is supposed to be a sign that she "exaggerates her accomplishments". Mind you, this is from the same woman who claims to be the best choice for Cordonia despite her poor strategies and her antagonizing potential allies during the engagement tour (TRR2); who complains if the MC doesn't compliment her for mediocre work as a press sec (TRR3). The MC can also choose to diss Kiara in a similar way, treating Kiara like she is a circus performer and her skills as if they are meant for the MC's entertainment. The only solace I could derive from this dumpster fire of a dialogue option, was that Kiara managed to shut the MC up with her multilingual response.
No other time are we allowed to call a courtier's abilities and skills into question. The MC accepts on faith that Olivia is a badass with great fighting skills. Same with Penelope's ability as a seamstress. The MC is never even allowed to have legitimate complaints about Madeleine's work as press sec, besides maybe that she could "be a little nicer". So the fact that the writers not only have other characters doubt Kiara's talent, but also allow people to mock her about it in all three books...is really something.
Another possible indicator of this disdain is the fact that Kiara is the only suitor who never gets a chance to actually interact with Liam on-screen. Even Penelope, a fellow minor character, can approach and talk to him twice...and her gift to him is shown in Ch 18 whereas Kiara's and Hana's aren't. Despite the fact that Kiara is a potential suitor, the story never allows her to interact with Liam. She doesn't exactly have any interactions with Drake in this book either, but honestly nor does any other couple have much time together besides Liam and Olivia.
Drake and Kiara hardly seemed to be a possibility back in TRR1. Drake himself didn't seem to associate with anyone besides the MC and the group in the first book (and even with the group his interactions were infrequent). Kiara herself doesn't have many scenes that aren't related to the court or to the competition, even once she is no longer participating. The closest she comes to any sort of association besides Penelope, is a friendship with Hana that begins sometime before the Fox Hunt. Drake and Kiara never actually have any scenes together, or interactions, or references. It is likely that the idea to pair them up was entirely a Book 2 thing.
On a fandom level, neither Kiara or Penelope garnered much attention or fan reactions. They weren't noticed much, nor did you see their scenes too often. Probably that is why it was so damn easy to remember Kiara's entire equation with the MC wrong. Why certain stans of the book were able to get away with misrepresenting the relationship between her and the MC in TRR1, to hate on her in TRR2. I will not deny, though, that certain dialogue choices from PB (like "I thought we were friends!" in the Fydelia scene) may have had a hand in those beliefs becoming the "truth".
TRR2 Kiara - Pragmatic Courtier or Backstabbing Snake (Part 2)
I plan to get into the way the Drake and Kiara angle is framed in canon, but before that it's important to tackle that one elephant in the room - Kiara telling the MC the alliance is over. Because very often, people used this scene (coupled with their misinterpretations of Book 1) as their "justification" to hate her. Often, people would choose the ruder options (such as the Christmas card dialogue) and assume that Kiara was rude by default, rather than as a consequence of the MC's behaviour towards her.
Kiara and Penelope are the first to express surprise at the MC's return (and their reactions are shown as representative of the rest of the court). Kiara in fact is shocked that the MC dared to return (which is kinda warranted! Several people in these early chapters view that as a risky move, a gamble that could backfire on her. That's why Bertrand gets her a press secretary). Their scene with the MC immediately follows the MC's conversation with Liam and Madeleine (and mind you, in the option where the MC can tell her she was set up, Madeleine herself voices disbelief of the same. Conveniently, this is never used as a reason to hate her). Both women let the MC know of their change in status, and therefore the change in their relationship with her.
What gets missed overall, is that Kiara is a lady-in-waiting (which is an actual role with specific duties) to Madeleine, which means her loyalty now has to lie with this woman whether she likes it or not. For her to even agree to approach the MC and explain the situation, is a risk. In at least two dialogue options in this scene, she tells the MC straight-up that they will be in trouble if they're even seen talking to her (this becomes a moot point by Ch4, mostly because Madeleine herself is shown talking to the MC and allowing her into conversations in public, once Hana arrives).
Penelope is often viewed in a better light in this scene because of her obvious friendliness and her sadness at no longer being the MC's friend, but once you have the reveal of her being a traitor, her behaviour in this scene seems wildly disingenuous, and I'm surprised more people didn't call her a fake when the reveal came out. She had to know the allegations against the MC were fake when she rushed to hug her, having been an integral part of that fabrication. It makes her lament when she's caught, in the failplay, ("I can't do anything right. You were never supposed to find out!") that much more chilling. She is eager to have the benefit of the MC's friendship and emotional support, without ever being honest about her role in smearing her reputation.
The other was that - no matter what you may choose to think of this scene - Kiara was placing herself at risk to let the MC know it was over. Approaching the MC was the right thing to do, but what is never spoken about is the fact that it was also a brave thing to do. Rather than ghost the pariah of the court and never give an explanation, she tells her honestly what the situation is, and strives to protect her impulsive friend (who could get both of them in trouble) at the same time.
When you view Kiara's actions from that lens - when you look at the facts - suddenly the claims that Kiara was "fake", "a flip-flopper", "a backstabber", "unscrupulous and self-serving", sound pretty hollow.
TRR2: The Drake x Kiara "Romance" Begins...and So Does the Vitriol
So...an interesting thing about the general reaction to Kiara in the early chapters of TRR2. I was new to the fandom when this book was released. There was an annoyance at Kiara when the first chapter came out, but to my surprise it didn't exactly become full-blown hatred until she started showing an interest in Drake in Ch 3.
This book is often used as a reference by Drake stans when they speak of Kiara as an obsessed, stalker-type, sex-hungry woman - often in contrast to their "pure", "innocent" MCs. Basically...the Jezebel. But the five scenes we see of this ship in the book itself tell a completely different story:
1. Drake Helps Kiara Lift A Heavy Beam (TRR2 Ch 3)
Chapter 3 is perhaps the first time we see an indication of Kiara's attraction to Drake on a physical level. The scene takes place at the barn raising, but only if we choose to stay with Drake over Hana for the barn raising activities. Kiara shows up in a rather pitiable state - her friend Penelope abandoned her for thirty whole minutes, leaving her to lift incredibly heavy beams alone. Drake helps Kiara and mildly chides her for not asking for his help, and Kiara stares at his bare chest, mesmerized.
She isn't exactly alone in this - the MC herself ogles at his bare chest at one point (if we go by the lines in the narrative that read "his muscles glisten in the sunlight" which is def from the MC's PoV). This scene was meant as fanservice for stans who wanted to drool over Drake's physique for a bit, and belatedly build up an alternative (at least for all three male LIs, they were trying to do this in TRR2).
The MC can either point out Kiara's obvious attraction towards Drake, or suspect her of being part of the plot. This will not be the last time the MC or the group will view her with suspicion, with little to no basis in fact. In the option that calls attention to Kiara's attraction to Drake, she is shown covertly sneaking a second look at him. Drake is shown with a visible discomfort at even the idea that Kiara could like him, one that only the MC notices considering she is working in proximity with him.
The reaction to this was instantaneous from several Drake x MC shippers. One or two glances at Drake's chest was enough for Drake stans to begin typing posts in capslock, screaming "BACK OFF KIARA HE'S MINE". The excuses given at the time were that the MC didn't get much opportunity to romance him (Drake was trying to refrain from kissing her in Ch 2 because he felt guilty), and largely-inaccurate judgements of Kiara's character. Jealousy of this kind is sometimes seen as the norm when you have a popular ship and a third angle is created, but this was about to take form in some...very disturbing ways in later chapters.
2. Kiara was Once Savannah's Friend/Kiara's long-standing crush on Drake (Ch 4)
A misconception I often see in the fandom (particularly in relation to how Kiara's feelings for Drake aren't given the same level of consideration that Olivia's for Liam is) is that Olivia's are "more genuine", and Kiara's are "mere lust" or "only physical" and this is probably why she's not given as much respect as Olivia was. Even though, tbh, Kiara was far, far more respectful of Drake and his personal space, than Olivia was of Liam in TRR1.
Leaving aside the obvious problems with that train of thought (viewing sexual feelings as "lesser" just because they're not rooted in some intense emotion), this is not even true, and the first part of the Driara garden party scene is proof enough. Kiara says, straight up, that Drake had been "such a good friend to [Liam]. It's part of why I always liked you." (Bold mine). If the MC voices doubts about this (likely incorporated for readers who would question it as a retcon...and it was a retcon since they didn't interact in TRR1), Kiara tells her that she doesn't wear her heart on her sleeve, which actually matches her practical approach to most things. In fact just a few scenes earlier, when the MC questioned her about wanting a husband (when she'd mentioned earlier about wanting to join the ministry), Kiara informs her that it would never hurt to have both. So it makes sense for her character if she's someone who kept her feelings for Drake a secret, especially while in a competition for winning the Crown Prince's hand. But we cannot, in any honest capacity, claim that Kiara's feelings for Drake weren't deep enough, or lasting enough, or genuine enough. At least based on the evidence we have.
Another point this scene brings up is Kiara's friendship towards Savannah. Up until this point, the only people who did reference her were Olivia, Drake and Maxwell - and Olivia's mockery of especially seemed to imply that the ladies of the court weren't very nice to her. Kiara's account is very different from this, and actually quite affectionate ("she was one of us", "she was coming along so well in learning French"). It's not the closest friendship, but Kiara did care enough to tutor her in the language and clearly missed her. It is possible that this scene was positioned to both build up to the alternative romance and foreshadow Savannah's presence in Paris. There is a lot more that could have been done with this angle, but perhaps that is a discussion for another section.
3. Never-Have-I-Ever (Ch 9)
This is a small option in a drinking game - the MC can get to say "never have I ever had a crush on Kiara", and loses, because Drake says she isn't his type (ironically he claims he isn't her type in the next chapter). It's interesting that he does consider her as not as bad as some of the others in that group.
3. Flirting with Drake in Paris (Ch 10)
For five chapters, we don't see any more hints of this romance. We see Drake in plenty, and we see quite a bit of Kiara. But none of it shows them together.
Kiara's scene with Drake at the tea party, is in some ways a continuation of his diamond scene with Savannah. He knows now where his sister is and what her big secret was, but this scene is where he realises how little he actually knew about her, if even her "noblewoman friend" knew she had intentions to go to Paris and he, her brother, didn't. This scene also takes place at what I call a "rest period" in the story - the group has just come out of a high-intensity altercation with Bastien, and it is one chapter before the major reveal about Constantine. So the MC can relax a little, some of the loose ends of previous stories can be tied up, and we get a vibe check on at least two alternative ships.
Drake is rather civil to Kiara in this conversation, mostly because he's trying to get information about his sister out of her. There isn't much he contributes besides this - it doesn't seem to matter much to him that Kiara was a rare friend among the court to Savannah (tho TRR3 would later retcon this), and when she talks about herself he doesn't pay much attention. Kiara does make an attempt at a light flirtation which goes largely unnoticed.
The MC's response when she first sees them goes three ways - a neutral comment about the petit-fours, a "matchmake-y" comment that points to them that they "look cozy", and a "jealous" comment about interrupting them. The third one especially results in Drake inadvertently confirming he doesn't think of Kiara in a romantic light, and Kiara appearing disappointed. Remember, at this point she doesn't see much evidence that Drake and the MC romancing him are an item.
The follow-up conversation with Drake, too, follows along similar lines. The neutral comment just asks him about the information he gathered from Kiara, the "matchmake-y" one points out she has feelings for Drake and the "jealous" one is... something.
The third response is very obviously crafted for the more possessive Drake stans to get satisfaction from dissing Kiara, perhaps in a more aggressive way than the Maxwell stans could. While the Maxwell MC can pass an insult or two to discourage Penelope, the Drake MC will go as far as to tell him he belongs only to her, and can threaten to "push her into the petit-fours".
Ironically, this scene follows a scene with Olivia about her lingering feelings for Liam - and Olivia's grief, the MC's clear sympathy and Liam's concern for Olivia are all by default. There is a certain level of sensitivity the Liam MC is required to have for Olivia that is never once expected of the Drake MC, and that plays out in very dangerous ways in the next book.
This scene, again, brought forth rather violent reactions, and in fact the language of the MC's responses itself seemed to encourage that kind of response. A poster later compiled an entire set of these responses ranging from mocking, to "back off, Kiara!" to straight up demands for murder (I couldn't link to this post because the names of the people involved were included in it, but I do have quite a few of those screenshots for reference).
After this point, you don't see any more scenes where Kiara actively flirts. In fact for most of the second half you see her and Penelope very rarely. So it does feel really wild in retrospect that "obsessed Kiara" became such a popular interpretation, after one checking-out scene, one flirtation and one rather sweet and genuine compliment of him as a person.
4. Pranking Kiara (Ch 17)
A pattern you would have noticed by now is that there is a bit of a mean streak in Drake for Kiara that is either very dominant or latent, based on whether the MC tries to encourage him, or shows jealousy towards her.
And this isn't necessarily an indicator that he can never be interested in Kiara. A distrust for nobility is almost a norm for him at this point, and let's not forget that Drake's first few interactions with the MC too didn't exactly leave her with the best impression of him either. Kiara initially being on Madeleine's side at the beginning of the story could be a factor in some level of disdain too. Such complications could - in a good story - add layers to a potential romance in the future if that was the direction the writing was going for.
Around the MC who doesn't mind them as a pair, he shows a small sliver of an inclination towards Kiara herself. His response if the MC points out that Kiara was flirting with him (Ch 10) is that he doesn't believe he is Kiara's type, not the other way around. In this scene, a drunk Drake who is encouraged to write a "nice note" to her as a prank, can write "your hair is pretty and your French is totally not stupid". Both of these lines present a sign of a possibility that a romance could happen. His behaviour when an MC casually hints at this possibility, is of someone who may like this woman deep down, but show it in very strange ways (akin to the age-old metaphor of the "boy who pulls the pigtails of the girl he has a crush on"). They wouldn't have even needed to show his responses in this way if they weren't trying to hint at a possibility.
His response to a "jealous" MC is to delightedly bask in her possessiveness of him, and to go hand-in-glove with her as she insults or suggests violence on Kiara in any way. Now one could perhaps headcanon this as a behaviour that comes from being unused to female attention focused on him, coupled with his affection for the MC - but when you take into account his behaviour towards Kiara herself in TRR3 as well, there seems to be a blatant lack of consideration or compassion towards her as a human being. Compare this, again, to the way Liam's behaviour towards Olivia is written in canon, and interpreted by the fandom. Liam is expected to be kind to her, even if he's clueless about her feelings or if she is harming him (eg. Even when she kisses him, he cares enough to opt for a reaction that will not publicly humiliate Olivia).
Not so for Drake. He is very happy to follow in the MC's lead, even in hurting Kiara. And in this scene, he pretty much kickstarts it with the suggestion of a prank.
Drake knows where Kiara's room is (thanks to a nameplate on the door, and the familiarity of the hallway, which he likes for the view outside) and wants to prank her. The MC can either accept or refuse. If she accepts, there is one nice option, and two distinctly mean-spirited ones. The first proposes to mess up her book organizational system, and the narrative describes the attempt as "ruining any semblance of order to Kiara's bookshelves". These are materials she likely requires for her career as an aspiring diplomat, or even books she uses to update herself on the world. But to this MC and Drake, her work and interests are little more than a joke.
The second one is not only aggressively mean - it also is an attempt to ruin her personal space with her personal items. Going by the array of haircare the narrative mentions, maintaining her hair is very important to Kiara (I am not equipped enough to speak about black women and their relationship with their hair, but this option did make me very uncomfortable, because of the little I've seen on how essential regular haircare and good products can be for many black women). Not only does the MC suggest using all that product to render Kiara's bed practically unusable, she also insists Drake waste the full bottle of said product. Because, yknow. "It's a prank. Go big or go home". Drake has one moment where he tries to be less mean in this option (when he attempts to use less of her hairspray), but the moment the MC encourages him towards a crueller direction he does not hesitate. In fact, when the MC first suggests this option, he regards her with something approaching awe, and praises her as "an evil genius".
There's a mean streak in Drake here no matter which option you choose. If you do go for the nicer one, he complains at first that it's not exactly a prank and in fact does claim that they "could still put glitter in her cupboard" as an alternative prank. But the other two options encourage the player to give full vent to whatever underlying frustration/enmity/hatred one could possibly have against Kiara, goading a drunk Drake to be merciless towards the things in her room, in her absence.
Maybe, perhaps, one could just view this as a "fun vent" for the "possessive stans". It allowed the Drake MC and her LI the chance to gang up on her, mock her and cause her discomfort through things that were clearly important to her, treat her like the butt of their joke, and get away with it. When you encourage that kind of hatred with your writing, it can go into some very dark, disturbing places. And it did, especially in TRR3.
The overall response to this scene didn't show much, since it was just one small sequence in a larger scene - and most of the focus was on the heartfelt bonding between Drake and the MC when he takes her to his "special hideout" and his reveal about his motives behind calling the MC by her surname.
Many Drake stans, however, took note of this specific section, and took their interpretations in a completely different direction. Questions were asked about why Drake knew about Kiara's room - completely ignoring that he frequented the hallway regardless for its view and her nameplate is literally placed outside her door - and several fans suspected the two to be involved in an affair just on the basis of him knowing where her room was. These suspicions, again, would crop up from the fandom in a more dramatic way in TRR3.
5. Drinks at Homecoming Ball (Ch 19)
This scene takes place in the finale, just before Kiara and Penelope apologize jointly to the MC for their comments in the beer garden.
Drake is, quite predictably, at the bar in this scene. In some ways one could draw a parallel between this one and the "bar" scene between him and the MC in TRR1 - the only differences being that the two were alone in the first, and that he and the MC are free to romance each other now. However this time, the two ladies of the court could also communicate with him about drinks, and he could use his knowledge of alcohol to guess their preferences.
The scene with Kiara is, again, written to be both a possible sign of familiarity and a diss (mostly the second, I think). With Penelope he just vaguely mentions cocktails and focuses on the decoration for the drink - with Kiara he is able to name the specific wine even though in TRR3 he has no idea what tannins are. There are ways one could envision that as a sign that he notices more about Kiara than he lets on.
The diss, of course, comes with his claim that no matter how top-shelf the wine is, it will still always be "old grape juice" (which is a very strange thing to say because most alcohols are fermented from basic ingredients be it fruit or grains - where did he think his high-quality whiskey that he regularly carries around in his personal flask came from??).
Kiara's attempt to impress him is pretty obvious, but the diss isn't something that weighs too much on her mind. There are less indicators here of a dejection if he brushes her aside, unlike the scene in Ch 10 - she just looks a bit surprised he could guess the exact drink she wanted. Kiara in this scene is more likely to shift gears to something more important. In this case, that is apologizing to the MC for what she views as poor behaviour that sprung up under the influence of alcohol, and offering her an olive branch (the specific apology is for her asking the MC if she came to gloat, not for telling her the alliance was over at the beginning of the tour. In that scene specifically she feels she has nothing to apologise for, and I'm inclined to agree for the reasons I stated in that section).
The overall pattern for this ship seems to indicate that it's...kinda there in case the MC doesn't want to pick Drake, but I always feel like they focused a lot more on the jealousy options and didn't spend enough time to see what a possible relationship could look like. They do claim later that Kiara's affections were supposed to be one-sided, but the buildup at least seemed to indicate some small baseline of interest from Drake's end, even if shown in some rather bizarre ways. However, because there seems to be very little respect for this character already, having the MC threaten violence and having her and Drake overreact over what were essentially harmless interactions from Kiara's end really does indicate that the writers didn't mind taking potshots at her whenever they felt like it. Like I've said before, the trashfire that was Kiara's treatment in TRR3 didn't develop overnight.
Smart, Skilled...Disliked?: Kiara and the Writing Team in TRR3
On 25th Sept 2023, PB released a two-chapter series on Storyloom called "Choices Secrets", which involved at least three writers (Andrew, Kara and Chelsa) talking about ideas and plots and backstories that didn't make it to the released book. In one section, Kara Loo speaks specifically about the ending of TRR2:
According to this account, the original idea was to kill off Olivia and possibly use that as a segue into the Nevrakis plot of the book, since her aunt and Justin were the real villains at the end of the series. When they decided to keep her alive in the series, Kara mentions finding "more members of your group get injured, like Drake".
Interestingly, Kara referred to "members" in the plural, and Drake is the only person from the core group to get shot. So it's just as possible that the choice to have Bastien, Justin/Anton and Kiara sustain injuries, was made once they decided to do away with the storyline about Olivia's death.
Olivia got spared because her writers cared for her. Kiara was likely one of the people injured in her stead, and probably the only one out of them (except for the one who was the main villain) who wasn't getting a prominent scene that focused on her being a survivor of the attack until some readers protested (the entire intro of TRR3 was dedicated to Drake recieving tender care from the MC, Bastien gets showered with concern and care from Constantine, Liam and optionally the MC. The MC comes to the estate, makes a perfunctory mention of the injury once and proceeds to emotionally blackmail Kiara into joining the tour. Let's not even talk about Lythikos. That shit warranted its own essay). No matter how much you downplay the situation, the truth is that Kiara got grievously hurt in a terrorist attack and her writers didn't think it was important enough to address.
I often wondered in the beginning, why Kiara was chosen for this. A close friend at the time theorized that perhaps it was done to ensure Madeleine would become our press secretary, because there was no way the MC would be considering her for this position if someone less hostile (like Kiara) was around. Another wondered if we might get opportunities to address palace security through the experiences of the survivors. Being a Drake x Kiara supporter at least by the end of TRR2, I wondered whether it was a coincidence that they both were injured at the same ball, and the possibility of the two bonding over such a painful experience.
Well. Boy was I about to be disappointed.
Because why did Kiara have to be so badly injured, if it was going to amount to nothing? If they weren't even going to address it in her own home? If - after even players who didn't care much for her, noticed the silence around that attack - the best you could offer was a scene that followed the MC and her friends suspecting the victim of this attack??
Had I looked at Kiara's narrative treatment (from TRR1 onwards) closer back then, perhaps I wouldn't have expected so much. It would have occurred to me that maybe they hurt Kiara the most, because they cared for her the least. Kiara is viewed as smart, poised, talented. Madeleine even calls her "one of the more competant courtiers" at some point. But that doesn't always mean that the team that writes her deems her worthy of respect.
For one, the writers tend to lean more into fandom perceptions of her in this book, rather than looking at their own canon. Kiara being a snob is not canon - that is ridiculous considering that she was such good friends with Savannah, and her support of the MC when she fits in well. Kiara acting like her linguistic skill makes her better than anyone else isn't canon either - nor is she obliged to speak in all ten languages on a loop just for the MC's or Maxwell Beaumont's entertainment. Kiara being perpetually mean to her best friend is inaccurate at best - she is often frustrated by Penelope, sure, but she spends far time and energy helping her than anyone else in that court.
Yet the narrative gives both these statements as dialogue options for the MC, where she can bitch about Kiara...but somehow only ever allows the same MC to be nice and caring and loving to Penelope - never once reminding her of the hell she'd put the MC through in the past. And because the fandom expected the Kiara-Penelope friendship to focus only on Penelope, PB got away with having Kiara's "best friend" stay conveniently silent as the MC berated her in her own home. The narrative even threw Kiara under the bus in TRR3 Ch 16, in order to make Madeleine look better in Hana's memories of the TRR2 bachelorette, claiming falsely that Kiara shouted at Penelope so much while drunk, that the latter was brought to tears. There is way more energy spent in painting an inaccurate and negative portrait of Kiara, than there is in showing the truth.
For another, the way the courtiers' and their parents' agreement to join the tour is coded...is extremely suspicious. When you compare both a successful and a failplay, you will find that all the parents have the chance to reject the MC's proposal to join the tour...except for one. Kiara's father, Hakim. In a failplay where you purposely do all the wrong things...out of the entire group of people who are still doubtful about supporting you, only Kiara and Hakim join your tour by default, without any expectation of a reward (Madeleine demands her own department after the wedding). They will be a part of it no matter what you do, no matter your failures, no matter how badly you treat them.
Hakim may have joined mainly to confront his old friend the King, but he still stays on even after Constantine dies. The writers made sure to branch-code things in a way that Kiara and Hakim could never drop out even if the MC was awful to Kiara, and never once acknowledged what it must take for them to do that. After Kiara herself had been fucking stabbed!!!!
Joelle, Kiara's mother, and Ezekiel, Kiara's brother, can reject the offer if they aren't impressed with the MC, but out of these two characters only one is viewed with respect - the one they were going to pair up with Penelope.
The narrative doesn't mind letting the MC mock Joelle for her passionate support of the arts if she doesn't win her approval, and her insistence that it is the sign of a thriving kingdom...and they make her sound petulant and churlish in response to that mockery. This despite the fact that in a successful route, she says one of the most profound political statements in the books:
"Hakim and I don't just want Cordonia to remain stable and peaceful. Those are blessings, naturallement, but our kingdom can do so much more than just survive."
In contrast, when you look at the same failplay, Emmeline and Landon are treated with far more respect from the narrative, even though Hakim and Joelle's plans for the country would benefit Cordonia as a whole. Drake looks up to Penelope's parents as an inspiration, especially if he's going to become a duke. Meanwhile Hakim actually acknowledges Drake and his bravery in a way that none of the other dukes and duchesses did, and Drake never gives a shit.
Emmeline can accuse the MC of not taking their situation seriously, if she does a bad job at the polo match, and the MC only has the grace to look contrite rather than lash out at her. Landon himself is never judged for coddling his daughter the way he does. Their focus on Portavira rather than the country is respected, and the MC not meeting their demands is viewed as her weakness, not an overreaction from their end. They never get the snarky responses Joelle gets, where the MC can outright call her "a handful" in front of her own husband.
And then there is the matter of how PB deals with the problems of all the court ladies.
(Screenshots from the Skylia YouTube Channel)
The period of the Unity Tour isn't exactly an easy time for anyone. The LIs each deal with their own shit, and the ladies of the court themselves have their own reasons for being reluctant to return. The entire point of this tour is to address their specific concerns as well as that of their families', because without the courtiers themselves we wouldn't have as strong a court.
In Madeleine's case, we have to talk to her through a diamond scene and then educate her mother on her ways of mourning lost opportunities, among other things. In Penelope's case we are required to give her complete protection and emotional security, for her to even bother joining the tour (there is branch coding where she can refuse to be a part of the tour at all). Even for Olivia - who is already an ally - the diamond scene encourages us to stand up to her aunt, by letting Olivia know that it is valid for her to lean on others for support without being considered weak.
But for Kiara? The best we can come up with, while in her duchy, is some version of - "You're smart. You'd know that if you left now, people will say bad things about Cordonia and then it would be your fault". You either manipulate her, or insult her as being a useless excuse of a diplomat. As I mentioned in another essay, Kiara's comfort is a non-factor. The gap between the care we were expected to give to Madeleine and Penelope, and what we deign to give Kiara in Castelserraillan (which is...well...nothing), is massive. And this gap would only increase - not reduce - in the books to come.
It might seem a bit irrelevant to talk about this, especially when this essay is about Drake and Kiara. But it's important to take note of this inherent disdain the writers had towards this one character - and people close to her. Because it is only too easy to pretend that the writers "got scared of the crazy stans".
Of course the stans had a huge, huge role in this. Of course their vitriol and racism succeeded in bringing about (what I consider) one of the most disgusting dialogue options in this series...or perhaps in any series. But I doubt those "crazy stans" would have gotten this far, without a team that didn't mind being cruel to Kiara.
When the Fandom and Canon are both Heartless: Drake and Kiara in TRR3
As I've mentioned in previous essays in this series, playthrough divergences truly begin in TRR3 (eg. While the playthroughs acknowledge who you chose as endgame by end-TRR2, you can still access diamond scenes through a small tweak that allows you to romance other LIs). And whichever LI didn't get engaged with the MC had indications of a new romantic possibility coming up. These were scenes you wouldn't find in your own playthrough with that LI as your fiancé/e.
Kiara doesn't appear in TRR3 until Ch 7, when the entourage comes to her estate Castelserraillan. There aren't a lot of Drake and Kiara scenes themselves, and I will get into why, section by section.
1. Kiara Greets the Group at Castelserraillan (TRR3 Ch 7)
Many Drake stans - once they found their MCs engaged to Drake in TRR2 - seemed to be practically giddy at the prospect of showing off their newly-engaged status to Kiara, and hurting her through the news. They were perhaps more excited about this than their upcoming wedding.
Well, they got that chance in Ch 7. In every other playthrough, she still holds the same feelings for Drake, and compliments his suit as Drake awkwardly fails to meet her eye. In his specific playthrough, Drake defiantly shows off his relationship with the MC, and Kiara shows a slight wistfulness before she forces herself to be normal then wishes the happy couple well. You'd think that would be enough to satisfy the stans who had been baying for her blood all of the previous book.
A throwaway line about Drake knowing where Kiara's room was, had already raised the heckles of a whole bunch of his stans. Kiara's "wistful look" in her first TRR3 scene somehow added fuel to that fire. Suddenly, you got to see a raging torrent of posts demanding to know if Drake had had an affair with Kiara. Fanfic had already been written about Drake cheating on the MC with Kiara by this point - and some of those headcanons and fanfic hinged on making Drake the innocent/vulnerable one, taken advantage of by this sexy, obsessed woman who would be either a danger to him or would be juxtaposed with the "pure", "virginal", "perfect" MC. Drake would never be the problem here, and none of the stans screaming over the possibility of Drake sleeping with Kiara would dream of blaming him for it. No, Kiara was predatory, Kiara was obsessed, if anything happened between them it would be likely Kiara's fault.
This is where it's important to note, again, that none of the more obvious signs of the "Jezebel" stereotype seem to be used in canon for Kiara. While cruel in her own way, the TRR MC doesn't exactly slut shame her or believe Drake will be unfaithful to her, Kiara isn't accused of seducing (or even trying to seduce) anyone, and she actually places respectful personal boundaries for herself in her attraction to Drake, that she never crosses. She may indulge in a light flirtation with him, try to impress him or simply talk to him - but you will never catch her forcing her sexual attention on him like Olivia did with Liam. Yet in popular fanlore, even Olivia's feelings were often cast in a far more noble light in contrast to Kiara's.
In her essay, The "Offending" Breast of Janet Jackson: Public Discourse Surrounding the Jackson/Timberlake Performance at Super Bowl XXXVIII, Dr Shannon. L Holland explores the historical and contemporary uses of the Jezebel stereotype in depictions of Black women in popular culture and discourse, especially in contrast to white masculinity (which in these contexts, is often viewed as innocent and blameless - and much of the blame lies with the Jezebel figure). The "Jezebel" stereotype "has come to symbolize both a malign, cunning sexual object and an autonomous, liberated sexual agent" - she is at once an independent sexual being making her own choices, and someone who is "incapable" of reining in her sexual appetite...and is therefore often depicted as not only a threat to the "purer" (and often "whiter" or "lighter skinned") woman, but also dangerous for whoever she is "obsessed" with. And we see this time and again in the discourse around Kiara - the fanfic that depicts her in a range of scenarios (stalker, obsessed lover, abusive girlfriend who will break a bottle over Drake's head, at times even descending into murderer to get the man she wants). Which is how we wound up in a position where Kiara even breathing the same air as Drake was viewed as a threat.
It didn't matter that he was flaunting his love for the Drake MC in that playthrough to send a message to Kiara, or that he stayed silent with the others as his wife badgered her into joining the tour. It didn't even matter that Kiara never got a diamond scene the way the two other women did, despite being the most harmed among the ladies. What mattered was that Kiara existed. Her damn existence was the threat.
2. Cheering for Drake's Victory (Ch 10)
Ch 9 of TRR3 was released to players on April 27th, 2018. Immediately after, a mid-book hiatus was announced, mostly to work on some new art (very possibly the red pandas), work on the wedding, and make changes (such as shifting diamond scenes from character-centric ones to LI specific - they'd already started making changes to LI diamond scenes). The book would return 2 months later, in June.
In a livestream before the hiatus ended, the writers had made it very painfully clear that Kiara's feelings for Drake was one-sided. And by that I mean they really emphasized on the one-sidedness of her affection, almost as if to reassure the panicking stans. This would manifest in any future interactions between the two - both in Drake's single and engaged playthroughs - and any hope that such a pairing would even be hinted at was over. But there was one variation that the team had perhaps neglected to edit out.
A small one-word depiction of Kiara cheering Drake when he wins his duel against Neville, joining his friends to praise him. It really isn't much - just Kiara saying "bravo!" before Savannah rushes up to hug him, which is replaced by a scene of Drake himself going up to the MC and passionately kissing her in his own playthrough. What is definitely striking about this depiction is that Kiara was clubbed with his close friends and his sister, rather than the second group of people that largely represented the larger court (Rashad and Queen Regina) who offer their congratulations.
Given the way the writers wrote any remaining interactions between Drake and Kiara, and the fact that this small appearance doesn't really amount to anything, it is possible that this variation was part of an earlier draft that involved other hints, that the writers failed to notice when they put up Ch 10. If they had, I'm pretty certain it wouldn't have stayed in the book.
3. Leaving Court + Wedding Conversations
Remember how I kept stating in this essay that the narrative was going to take their enthusiastic pandering of the "possessive stans" end of the fandom, to some dark, disturbing places? Well, here we are.
Tbh, the writers could have just stopped showing any interactions between the two, or given Kiara another boyfriend if their aim was simply to show that Drake and Kiara would never be endgame. They had done that with Maxwell and Penelope already...oh. I forgot. They actually wanted us to care for Penelope.
Up until this point, Drake's mean streak re: Kiara was present, but not really as obvious as it gets here. PB takes that cruelty several steps further in these two chapters, starting with Ch 11. Ch 11 was fanservice to the people who shouted abuses and "joked" about killing Kiara in every chance they could get. Ch 12 showed this sentiment at its worst, covered it up with enough fluff so it would be harder for people who liked Kiara to notice...and let those players get away with it.
In Ch 11, Kiara approaches the MC and her group to inform them that she is withdrawing from the tour. Drake is the first to respond to this, remaking at the suddenness of the departure. The MC can speculate on a couple of things, ranging from sympathy (that she might be afraid), selfishness (that she is "bailing out" on the MC) and suspicion (that she is hiding something).
In all three options, a pensive Hana expresses sympathy and encourages the group to "reach out". In all three options, Drake will only view Kiara as a suspect.
Mind you - according to Ch 12, Drake is saying this knowing Kiara was injured at Homecoming Ball...and knowing exactly which weapon she was injured with. Aware that she has gone through an event as traumatic as that (if we go by his "just one step at a time" monologue to Kiara), better aware than most how it would feel...he still opts to act like her motives should be suspicious.
This is further emphasized in the Drake playthrough, through the armory scene that the MC takes with Maxwell.
As I've mentioned in the post on this scene, it is divided into three halves. The first half deals with whoever the MC rejected (either Liam, or Drake in Liam's playthrough). The third is buildup to Lucretia's plans to usurp the throne. The second is supposed to be about the excitement among the members of the court for the wedding, and of course as the only people who come for the tour by default (and Madeleine is already taken for the first scene), Kiara and Hakim are used for this scene!
I will only focus on the Drake version of this scene today. There are a few things you notice straight off the bat:
1. Since this is Drake's playthrough, the narrative seems to do away completely with any lingering feelings Kiara may have had are done away with. In this scene she is quite happy about Drake's wedding - in fact, practically chipper. Literally nothing about her behaviour here serves as a reminder that she once had feelings for him.
2. Drake's response to Kiara attending his wedding ties in pretty well with his earlier default suspicion of her. Unlike Hana who is surprised but also happy that Kiara is attending, he seems to voice it as a doubt or a question. While that makes sense and there is continuity, it's pretty awful that he is allowed to suspect her like this and feel no remorse when the truth about her is revealed.
3. Now as I said in the post, this scene is meant to be a buildup to Drake's ice-palace scene. He speaks about wanting a private, country-style wedding in a natural place there, and Kiara's gentle teasing in this scene is supposed to be an indicator of how much he dislikes the usual fanfare. Okay. Fair enough. You're uncomfortable with the fancy decorations and the insane planning, fine.
4. But it's Drake's attitude towards Kiara in this scene that leaves a bad taste in the mouth (unless you were one of those Drake stans that liked to threaten murder on this character ig). The narrative really went out of their way to make him sound uncommonly angry with her, just for asking about his wedding. He angrily hisses at her to keep her voice down the moment she asks about the wedding, and then lashes out the moment she teases him about his love for the MC and his reluctance to be very public about it in that context. Of course, people who either liked Drake or hated Kiara would downplay this scene - either blaming Kiara for not magically knowing his likes or dislikes, or acting like Drake's behaviour in this scene is no big deal.
And his explanation in the ice palace scene really doesn't cut it as a reason for why he should be this pissed off at Kiara's excitement. There is no real bitterness or resentment tied in with the fancy trappings that are mentioned in that specific scene - it's just that he likes simplicity better. If Kiara doesn't know him well enough to understand that - it's because he has never properly talked to her. She made attempts to converse whenever she could. You can claim he never owed her a conversation - but in that case she doesn't owe him a complete understanding of his wants either. He could have just politely answered the question and changed the subject, or quickly took his leave.
He is well-versed enough in court etiquette by this point that he could have managed to sound civil enough. That he could have made a quick, polite exit. But no, he gave her the kind of anger that one reserves for someone who is kicking a puppy or stealing candy from a child, instead. And it was Kiara's grace that allowed her to view that awful behaviour in a more positive light.
It's pretty clear this scene - and to some extent the framing of the next - was made specifically for those Drake stans who were screaming and throwing tantrums about a possible affair. It was to highlight that there was no way Drake could ever return Kiara's feelings - and the only way they could do that was by making sure he treated her as rudely and inhumanely as possible.
I didn't think it could get any worse than this, when I saw this version of the scene...but then I saw Ch 12.
The Talk
If you were to speak just about fandom reactions to this scene...the responses to Kiara chronicling her trauma after Homecoming Ball, were pretty positive. Plenty chose the middle option "You're suffering from the trauma of the event. You need help", and cooed over Drake's touching little monologue about "taking it one day at a time".
I admit at the time I was fooled too. But one thing did niggle at me as I played both this option, and the "understandably cautious" one (I would later understand that the latter was not very good either - it has a thin veneer of "validating" Kiara's feelings, but it still has the MC and Drake expecting her to put their needs before her own safety and sanity).
Drake was reassuring to an extent in both options, sure. But why were his responses so different? Why was his answer to Kiara so closely tied to whatever point the MC was making, rather than independent of it? After all, he was the one who should be able to better relate to Kiara - wouldn't he have thoughts of his own here? If the MC chose that horrible final option, Drake would correct her and comfort Kiara instead, wouldn't he? Wouldn't he???
It was only when I (reluctantly) pressed that third option ("not as driven as I thought you were") that I understood what Drake's role in this scene was.
He wasn't going to be there for Kiara. He wasn't even sympathetic to her! It wasn't even going to be about two traumatized people connecting over their trauma. Drake was a puppet. He was there to parrot whatever garbage came out of the MC's mouth.
Because in the third - and most horrific - option, the MC is allowed to minimize Kiara's trauma, and mock her ambitions in the face of what she has just gone through. Drake is allowed to agree with her ("sometimes ambassadors have to work in dangerous areas"). Kiara is forced by the same narrative to find value in these words.
And all of this, stems from a scenario where Drake and the MC go in suspecting this woman from the jump. Where Maxwell is happy to make jokes about her being a suspect. Where the only two decent people in this group - Liam and Hana - are conveniently written out of the scene, ensuring that these ghouls can act the way they want around Kiara, and get away with it.
Not once is Kiara herself ever allowed to know that the group suspected her by default, nor is she allowed to go through with her intention to leave court. The very roots of this scene are rotten.
Very often, when this scene in particular is addressed, not many people actually address Drake's behaviour here - or in the previous chapter. Stans will vaguely, and conveniently, blame the group as a whole rather than their favourites. Such a tactic allows them to never name the specific people or specific actions, and therefore the main people involved in speaking to Kiara the way they did never have to be held accountable. This is particularly relevant in the case of Drake.
It was Drake's idea to interrogate her. He was the one constantly harping about her "suspicious behaviour". He was the one aware of what happened to her yet chose to think of her as shady. He was the one who should have known better, yet was absolutely game to minimize her trauma or engage in emotional blackmail. And neither he nor the MC came out of this conversation feeling anything resembling remorse. Because, apparently, they never did anything wrong.
They got what they wanted. At best, Drake and the MC manipulated this woman (again) into returning to their court. At worst, they badgered and bullied her into that decision. Either way, she was going to return, and the narrative was going to pretend that the MC and Drake were great people for making it happen.
I have heard some justifications over the years for Drake's behaviour here. One is that he "tends to act like an asshole to everyone". Another is that Kiara is a noble so he was never going to see her in a positive light. Which is hilarious to me, honestly, because in the same book you have Drake reassure Penelope - the woman who had made the MC the target of a reputation-ending scandal - and comfort her when she sees Madeleine. If this was really about the chip on the shoulder he had for nobility, why was he so kind to Penelope? And if Penelope's mental health warranted a change in mindset and behaviour from Drake's end, why was Kiara not worthy of that as well?
The truth is this. Drake was allowed to express his mean streak to a black woman, bully a black woman (the pranks), lash out at a black woman (the conversation at the Lythikos Ball), suspect a black woman, and finally minimize her trauma if the Duchess he had a crush on wanted to. While being overly protective and chivalrous to the white woman who actually did harm her. No matter what way you spin it, that is what Drake's behaviour - especially in TRR3 - is.
The way the team trampled over this "pairing" post that miniscule hint in TRR3 Ch 7, would make a rampaging elephant look like a ballerina in comparison. They wanted to make it clear after the hiatus that Drake x Kiara would never happen, in any eventuality, in any future, in any universe. And no matter how much we pin this on "crazy stans" (who do hold some responsibility for sure, for their own veiled racism), it's a fact that the writing team was comfortable doing this. They had already found other ways to pile disrespect on their sole recurring black female character - what was a little more?
TRH and Beyond: Taking Away What Was Left of Kiara's Remaining Fanbase
Given all the narrative back-and-forth and shadiness, I'd have to say the end Kiara got in TRR3 was comparatively...decent. Not great...not exactly satisfying...decent.
Her fighting off the assassins at the boutique ("not again...not again!!") was the highlight of that scene. In Hana's playthrough, Kiara was her MOH by default, and the lines the MC could give if you chose her in other playthroughs was pretty sweet. At the end of the book, her father would make Kiara his heir, after her older brother Ezekiel abdicated. There were still things I was always going to hate (such as the fact that we could lie about "having Kiara's back" - we absolutely did not) about the aftermath, but all in all as a fan...I could maybe envision a fairly happy ending for her with what we got.
The next series, The Royal Heir, would debut on June 2019, almost a year after TRR3's own debut. This would be the first series that would go completely LI-divergent, spanning four books. It started out as an attempt to envision the future (and pasts) of the main characters, as well as tie loose ends...but descended into an incoherent, retconning mess with each book.
Kiara doesn't feature much in Book 1, but is pretty prominent in certain chapters like Ch 7 (Savannah's bachelorette), Savannah's wedding, and the Apple Ball in the finale. You'll often find a marked difference between the way she is looked at for most of the book, and how the MC speaks to her in TRH1's finale.
Savannah's bachelorette, for instance, features all the ladies of the court in Texas, with new "country" looks and engaging with Texan culture. Here, too, you see a sign of PB leaning into popular perceptions of Kiara rather than remembering their own writing, when we see how Savannah praises the MC by default but has very little to say about her former friend Kiara. Since Savannah's return to court in TRR3, the team seemed to have forgotten that other ladies of the court weren't very nice to her, and Kiara was the only one concerned for her. They have Olivia act sweet and caring towards Savannah in both TRR3 Ch 17 and TRH1 Ch 7, conveniently forgetting the insults she piled upon Drake's sister in the first book. Savannah never has to talk about Kiara's friendship at all, other than a teasing comment hinting at her French lessons. Savannah was never expected to have any gratitude or affection towards Kiara even though she was the only woman who cared about her in court before she left.
An interesting thing to note in the diamond scene of the bachelorette is the way the courtly ladies' previous/current "romances" are framed. Kiara's, in particular, warrants a lot of discussion. Unlike Olivia (who can address her feelings for Liam regardless of playthrough, if asked, and can actually show some level of resentment towards him for not picking her), Kiara's feelings are addressed only if the MC isn't married to Drake. If she is, Kiara mentions a fondness for "rugged, down-to-earth men" (which the MC and Penelope perceive to mean hunky and muscular), and avoids mentioning his name at all.
There are two very interesting things to note about this sequence. One is the pattern of how, and how far, are Olivia and Kiara are allowed to address their feelings for these men. Not only is Olivia allowed to be open about her feelings and her bitterness (despite Liam actually romancing her in TRR3!), the narrative demands our respect for her position and plight. The Liam MC lauds her honesty and her decision to move ahead, unfazed even by her anger for something Liam didn't even owe her. In contrast, in the Drake playthrough, the writing makes sure Kiara never mentions him by name. And not only that, when the MC and Penelope tease her about her romantic preference, she is shown to stammer and seems downright afraid of the MC.
The fact that there is such a gap in how Olivia and Kiara are allowed to act about the men they love, and the fact that this gap was normalized so much in fandom discourse that it didn't even warrant a discussion, tells us plenty about the fandom too. The fandom position has almost always been that Liam owes Olivia love, appreciation, kindness. And that Drake owes Kiara nothing, not even common human decency. Which is why the fandom wants Liam punished for the high crime of not loving Olivia back. Which is why Drake is allowed to treat Kiara like an irritating pest at his best, and like utter garbage at his worst...and almost no one so much as bats an eyelid.
Since most of the story of TRH1 seemed to revolve around the ranch, the ladies of the court made minimal appearances and most of those were in keeping with patterns established in TRR3 (except for maybe Olivia's spy scenes). Some of their parents - too - feature in Royal Council scenes: Godfrey and Landon are part of this council and are seen during the MC's announcement - no one from Kiara's family, besides her brother Ezekiel who is dating Penelope, make any appearances in this book. Towards the end of the book, however, you suddenly find a scene or two where the narrative is suddenly, and inexplicably, syrupy sweet to Kiara:
(Screenshots from the Skylia YouTube Channel. 1-5 are from Ch 18, during the council meeting. 7-10 are also from Ch 18, at the start of the ball. The last two are from the finale as buildup for the pregnancy photoshoot)
There are indications of Kiara's diplomacy and good advice in other parts of the book too (such as her suggestions for dealing with the foreign royals at the baby shower) but never were the praise and compliments as obvious as they were in the last two chapters of TRH1. Kiara was given a quippy dialogue to spout at Godfrey, who would later be revealed as the murderer of Queen Eleanor. All three of the MC's dialogue options in response would praise Kiara by default (a rarity). King Bradshaw would shower her with compliments too about her talent and expertise. And when Kiara approached us with an offer for a pregnancy photoshoot, the MC could cheerfully say "for you, Kiara? Of course!" as if they'd been bffs from the beginning.
There isn't any obvious reason why we saw this sudden change, but I can make an educated guess or two. A pattern that commonly emerges with attempts to address something that would benefit Kiara, is that the writers often only do it when enough people complain; that was how we got the horrible Lythikos sequence. Midway through TRH1, I managed to put up an essay exploring Kiara's treatment (centered around the Lythikos sequence in TRR3 Ch 12) in comparison to Penelope's and Madeleine's. It did not receive an immediate fandom wide response, but several readers did come away from that essay feeling like Kiara really got the short end of the stick, compared to all the other court ladies. I'm not sure whether that essay had a direct impact, but those three scenes PB added to the finale chapters do make me wonder. Was the team trying to prove to the fandom that they did like Kiara and wouldn't personally sabotage her, either for their own enjoyment or to pander to a section of the fandom?
If they did, then that plan didn't last beyond these two chapters.
Another possibility of course was to give Kiara something slightly positive before they did her dirty - again - in TRH2 and 3. Because in those two books, they managed to first make her - along with the rest of the council - party to a vote (that everyone was involved in, including the LIs!) that would later prove detrimental for the country. They would then have her be the only heir involved in the notorious Coventus Nobilis, which ensured that anyone who wanted to hate Kiara could tie her to her vote in favour of Bartie Sr, without ever asking any further questions. This was a far more successful attempt, because most of the fandom already believed the misconceptions of Kiara's characterization to be truth, and these storylines simply added fuel to the fire.
Kiara's biggest supporters tended to be a section of the Liam fandom, as well as wlw stans who tended to like most of the courtly women. Having her vote for Bartie at the end of TRH2, and her explanations in TRH3 about the "MC's ruling style" (which was really canon's way of making sure she did more a silent diss on Liam) was written specifically to place a serious dent among her fans who liked Liam. And sadly, it worked in part. Because even if one considered Kiara's thoughts on "reactive ruling" accurate, it was a fact that the nobility (she included) would have to be blaming Liam for something that the entire Council voted for, and that Liam and his friends fixed on their own.
Making Kiara the lone person to voice this argument, made her a target in this fandom. I mean, people were ready to praise Madeleine and speak of her as loyal (eagerly ignoring that she was actively involved in the child's kidnapping if you didn't coddle her enough), and badmouth Kiara in the same breath, claiming that Kiara wasn't worth forgiving and people should just get over Madeleine's deeds in the past.
This resurgence of hate didn't just erupt out of nowhere. Once they finished spending two chapters on two-second compliments to Kiara, PB reverted in the next two books to some of their usual patterns with her. For instance, remember how I mentioned that PB had an obsession with never letting Kiara and Liam interact? In TRH, they repeated this pattern, but with the Heir. The only scene Kiara has where she can so much as touch the heir is in the last part of TRH3, if you choose for Kiara to read to her. Penelope is regularly allowed to hold her even though she has often placed this child in dangerous situations (on one occasion, Kiara herself had to stop her) - even Madeleine is given an entire babysitting scene to win her favour. But Kiara is the only lady of the court who is made to stay away or care for the child from a distance.
Kiara's family (besides Zeke, and just because he is Penelope's fiance/husband) is subject to disrespect in this book too. Hakim and Joelle were both conspicuously absent from the pregnancy announcement presscon in TRH1 (where Landon, Godfrey and Bartie Sr somehow featured!!), and future books would either retcon the family or force them to do things the other families didn't have to do. In TRH2, the MC takes a tour of the Great Houses with her newborn daughter, and each house is expected to pledge loyalty to her and the crown in different ways. Hakim is written as "bending to his knees" for the child. This is something only Adeleide and Madeleine - whose house, might I remind you, are considered the house of traitors at this point - have to do. Landon and Emmeline are never expected to express their loyalty to this extent.
In TRH3, the narrative callously pushes the Therons under the bus to make the Ebrim family's reluctance to help the MC make sense - the Therons are now "traditionalists" who frown upon scandals and may not allow Zeke to marry Penelope on the account of her past annulled marriage (this makes no sense when you take a closer look at the Therons themselves in TRR3 - they're a far more balanced, far more progressive family than any of the other Great Houses. They even took Zeke's abdication well!). Furthermore, you'll notice that the framing of Penelope's past with Guy is worlds apart from the disdain the narrative shows for the Therons during the flower festival. It is notable that in the latter, the black women are depicted very negatively - Kiara is shown unable to manage her own competition, Joelle is depicted as pompous and incapable of losing gracefully, Drake gets to take sarcastic potshots at Lerato for trying to charm the MC into voting for her and Drake into convincing her to vote. Meanwhile white people like Landon and Marguerite are presented in a just as humourous but less mocking light (eg. Landon moving his table courteously before flipping it in the flashback).
Even into TRF (Ch12), the narrative gives us choices where we can stand up to people criticizing Landon and Emmeline's parenting ("Duke Landon and his wife raised a kind, generous daughter..."). We are allowed to be far less critical of the Ebrims overall, we are allowed to be more charitable even in the dialogue options for suspecting Landon than we are of Kiara (think of how Maxwell can suspect that Kiara was planning to betray us all along). At the end of the Flower Festival, Kiara is made to appear contrite as the MC can choose to either demand she make this right before the latter can forgive her, or indicate that she never will. Ironically, a Penelope who can choose her fancy wedding over the safety of the MC's child never has to face words that harsh.
You will also notice if you look more closely, that the narrative continues to frame events surrounding Penelope and Kiara in opposing ways. Penelope is perpetually viewed as a victim, and Kiara constantly as a suspect.
We are expected to support Penelope, and to mistrust Kiara. And even though Kiara's feelings had long since become a thing of the past, Drake still maintains his animosity towards her and her family. And like everything else, it is so normalized at this point that you barely even notice it anymore.
In TRH2, Drake is allowed to tar all nobles with the same brush because of Godfrey's actions. Though his statement about the nobility ("We can't trust any of them to have Liam's back...not unless it's in their own selfish interests") is about the entire nobility, it is striking that he says this just before they go to Castelserraillan. The Therons are also the only noble family that Drake makes sarcastic comments about (in reference to Liam informing us that their province is a trade hub, Drake quips that "they are going to want to trade babies with us"). These snide comments he rarely makes about other noble families, and serves as a sharp contrast to how he treats the Ebrims (during Penelope's wedding festivities, he is unnaturally invested in Penelope getting a happy ending with Ezekiel). We can't even claim that his behaviour towards Kiara is in line with his disdain for nobles, because Penelope is proof that he is perfectly capable of showing compassion to most of them!
TRH3 ends with Kiara doing an apology tour of sorts - diplomatic missions aimed at improving Cordonia's international relations. TRF finds almost all the ladies of the court - even Olivia - in very minimal roles, as the focus shifts to the Via Imperii. Still, the narrative makes more references to Penelope than to Kiara, to the extent that the epilogue ends on both the MC and Penelope celebrating their pregnancies (Penelope's first and the MC's second) together.
Overall, you will find that the narrative repeated certain patterns with Kiara - the tendency to find her suspicious, purposely limiting scenes with important characters like Liam (TRR) and the heir (TRH) while the white courtiers get almost unlimited access, the discrepancies in expectations for her vs other ladies (eg. Madeleine is hailed for being "good" even though that is solely dependent on how you treat her. Kiara is largely ignored whenever she does help, and attacked when she is written to support the enemy). Drake - even as a former alternative to her, who should have gotten over whatever nonsense beef he'd had with her earlier - is allowed to make snide remarks about her home and family.
It's pretty clear they could do this because they could get away with it... because most of the fandom made it so easy for them to get away with it.
Fandom
When I look back at how the perception of Kiara in the fandom progressed over the years, I find it half-amusing, half-sad how much of it is rooted more in fanlore, and how little in actual fact. And this is something you couldn't just pin on "crazy Drake stans" - they were the biggest promoters of these lies and misconceptions, sure, but normally analytical, commonsense readers often believed that Kiara was fake and a snob and awful to Penelope too.
I get some of it, given the timing of Kiara and Penelope's scene at the beginning of TRR2. It takes place at a low point in the MC's story, a time when she isn't even sure the LIs want to support her. Coupled with that is the lasting image of Penelope hugging you and complaining about Madeleine, making you feel like she's more willing to give you a sliver of solidarity. Coupled with that, is Olivia's newfound popularity in the fandom - once she emerges in Ch 5 of that book, fans believed they found their wildcard who would stand by them in complete solidarity among the ladies of the court (did they ignore Hana's already massive contributions to the investigation? Yes they did. Yes they did). Madeleine herself is shown giving quotable quotes about female solidarity and Tariq's guilt in TRR2 Ch 7, which - coupled with Justin's high praise of her - made people want to find things to like about her too. Penelope's own betrayal was overshadowed by an expectation to support a person with serious mental health struggles.
Kiara's the only one who doesn't get such backstories or explanations. So at least in the heat of the moment, in reading those chapters between weekly gaps, it makes sense that a false impression of her got somewhat solidified.
But when you build your interpretations out of lies and misinterpretations, how does it become so valid that even the writers bend to it and prefer to show that?
Every fandom has its "crazy stans". And this instance wouldn't be the first or last time they are pandered to. But when the same stans get backed up by the "saner", more commonsense members of fandom; when even neutral readers promote versions of a story without actually looking at the scenes in question - that's when a fandom is in danger of turning a "headcanon" into canon.
Kiara being a horrible friend to Penelope wasn't canon. Kiara being a snob was not canon. Kiara being creepy towards Drake wasn't canon either. Especially when you take the fandom response to Olivia's forced kiss on Liam into account.
And that brings me to another point. I had been asked once why I felt the need to compare Kiara to the other ladies in my defenses of her. It's important, when we speak of the kind of hate Kiara received, to understand how a lot of flaws that the entire court has (eg classism) is often pinned onto a lone person, and how several white female characters could get away with worse behaviour while Kiara alone was slammed for harmless interactions.
This is most apparent when you look at how Olivia's violation of Liam's consent is perceived, vs Kiara's harmless flirtation with Drake in TRR2. Which woman had fans foaming at the mouth and wanting to kill her? Which woman was given dozens and dozens of fanfic and content that depicted her as creepy, desperate, downright obsessed with their man? Which woman got the "oh well, he doesn't owe her anything 🤷🏽♀️" vs a "he doesn't love her back?? WHAT AN INSENSITIVE ASSHOLE!!1111"?
Perhaps this Olivia/Kiara comparison is where the fandom's tendency to cast Kiara into the Jezebel stereotype is the most visible. Kiara's very act of talking to Drake sometimes is registered as a threat to those stans, and it reflects in the way they speak of her, the way they speak of their MC's own relationship with Drake in association with her (eg. the number of posts rejoicing at the thought of showing off their "engaged to Drake" status at Kiara's estate), the way they're allowed to dehumanize her and villify her (eg. The edit I mentioned at the beginning). This is often encouraged by their friends who are fans of other characters, and you can see that in sharp contrast, Olivia - despite her actions in Book 1 and her resentment of Liam for not loving her back in other books - is still often viewed with sympathy and respect. Her feelings - still viewed as genuine, even pure. To the point where PB eventually allows Olivia to constantly address her feelings about the MC's and Liam's relationship, while forcing Kiara to not even utter Drake's name in his playthrough.
But you see this with other characters, and in other contexts too. Particularly how Madeleine can be duplicitous, hypocritical, and power-hungry, and it's Kiara who is called these things despite her actual honesty in canon. Madeleine can get away with actually helping Bartie Sr kidnap the MC's daughter in TRH3 without a murmur, in the same fandom where people can curse Kiara for voting for Bartie Sr "to take the child away" (despite her telling the MC and spouse that she was promised they would have custody of the child, therefore the claim that she "voted to take the child away from their parent" is inaccurate).
You saw some of these discrepancies in how Penelope and Kiara were spoken about too - Penelope's crime in TRR2 was considered easily forgiveable, while Kiara's innocence is constantly called into question. Kiara was often viewed negatively for what the fandom perceived as "meanness" to Penelope (when it was in fact Kiara worrying about how Penelope would fare when she wasn't around) while Penelope herself was never expected to be a good friend to Kiara. An interesting thing to note about the fandom response to Penelope and Kiara showed that often when posters wanted to hate on Penelope, she and Kiara would be clubbed together, almost as a unit. This was especially prevalent in TRH3. It was easy to express hatred for Kiara independently, but most posts that showed a dislike for Penelope (besides from specific Kiara stans) would often tie her with Kiara, as if there wasn't much to hate about her otherwise.
It is important to line up whatever hate Kiara gets with the responses to the other women - especially in the face of what the latter are allowed to get away with. In doing so, you get a better sense of what is allowed for a certain subset of women, and what isn't allowed or permitted for black women specifically.
Often, the fans who would not hesitate to call her alone fake, opportunistic and creepy were WOC, and there have been cases where some would use their identity as WOC to shield themselves from the criticism concerning their vitriol. It would often descend into "I don't hate her because she is black, I hate her because {insert inaccurate/false/convoluted justification here}". It didn't matter that much of this information wasn't based in fact, or had a heavy bias that they never applied to anyone else. It only mattered that because they were WOC, somehow that meant that they couldn't possibly be racist. That their unfounded hatred for Kiara had to be legitimate. As if there was no chance that someone who was WOC couldn't be antiblack too. I mean, the ultimate proof of this could be found in TRR itself - the two head writers of the TRR/H/F series' are Asian women - who have a pattern of liking mean (white) women, and who didn't mind throwing the black woman and her black family in their story repeatedly under the bus, who didn't mind minimizing and retconning the abuse and childhood trauma that the darker-skinned Asian woman in their story went through.
Overall, it is possible that the fandom did take some of their cues (for their impression of Kiara) from the inherent disdain found in canon itself. But many of them also misinterpreted several things about Kiara, then didn't bother to revisit those biases with a critical eye, or even try to see if they were wrong. And that baseless hatred fed the already-existing disdain that Kiara's own writers had towards her. Resulting in the kind of horrific, racist garbage that we got to see in TRR3, and the constant attempts in canon to pull her down in TRH.
Did Drake and Kiara Ever Have A Chance?
There have been various opinions - from both Kiara fans and haters - for why a Driara ship would never work. He hates nobles, she won't like his disdain for art and culture, he likes the simpler life, she's a snob...so on and so forth. Many people will agree it's not a great ship, but of course with differing opinions on why.
I, however, often wondered at possible scenarios where such a pairing could work. The magic of shipping is often that you can play around with personalities and pair almost anyone, and find enough reasons to explain why they would tick. And in Drake and Kiara's case, personally, I do feel like it's a complicated question to answer - primarily because I feel like the authorial intent at the beginning may have been very, very different to what finally happened in Drake's story.
A lot of Drake's early writing focused on the reasons behind his mistrust of the court and his tendency to view the people he loves who are part of it (eg. Liam and later the group) as anomalies. There are two ways you could take such a story in TRR2 - you could either get him to admit to the flaws in his own thinking (thereby providing a more nuanced insight) and allow him to grow from there, or you could just have him double down on his biases and never change beyond the superficial. The team of TRR - esp the head writers, Kara and Jen who were both v fond of him - definitely seemed to go in the latter direction.
Drake's prediction in Coney Island does indicate that he should let go of the past, and I honestly feel like the sequences where he learned about Maxwell straining House Beaumont's finances to help her, and Kiara and Savannah's friendship, could have been turning points for him if the writers weren't so obsessed with proving him right all the time - even when he was supposed to be wrong. Maxwell and Kiara, in their own ways, were proof that not every noble was the same, nor would every noble treat the commoners around them all the same way. However, the narrative trampled all over this possibility in TRR2 Ch 9, where Drake could optionally claim that the Beaumont brothers (among others) were "just looking out for themselves, no matter the consequences", or later when the narrative had Savannah be grateful to him for breaking her confidence to Bertrand, and have Maxwell try to earn his forgiveness in Ch 12 rather than the other way around. It allowed Drake to be selective about the nobles he admired or defended, while still free to treat certain others like garbage.
I could easily envision a Driara pairing for most of TRR2. I could even see it as potentially salvageable in certain parts of TRR3. But the moment they had Drake readily suspect her, the moment the team thought it would be okay for Drake to even suggest minimizing her trauma...that option was no longer worth seeing. Not for Drake, but for Kiara. Drake would have to be the worst possible guy I could find for her, in such a scenario.
But I could see potential in a storyline that had Drake understand that some of these people weren't the monsters he so desperately wanted them to be. In one where he could hear about Kiara's friendship with his sister, and learn about a whole new side of her. One where he maybe felt insecure ("I'm not her type") and could be reassured by a woman who had likely held a torch for him since they were teens/young adults. One where they could reach out to each other in their pain and trauma, and find solace. One where Drake knew that the family he may be marrying into would respect him, and his father too. There were possibilities there.
It would still take more work - his mean streak for one would need to be reduced by more than a half. A lot of it, of course, was kept for the Drake stans, but it really doesn't add much to Drake's character besides making him a mean-spirited, hypocritical bitch who only targets the lone black woman this way (and Olivia occasionally, if she goads him). If the narrative did want to keep a characterization where Drake acts weird around the girl he likes, they could - but that story would need a lot more work to be palatable.
All of this is to say that regardless of personal bias, there were possibilities there. There was a sliver of potential. And if they wanted to let go of that potential midway, they didn't have to go about that the way they finally did. They could have just worked on creating another love interest for her. They managed to create a brother for her overnight just so Penelope could have a boyfriend; they could have easily done the same for Kiara.
Multiple factors went down that explain why the Driara ship didn't take off. But many of them boil down to one specific root cause - the white women (whether they caused actual harm or not) needed to be protected, needed to be cherished. The black woman who dared to ask for the same things from their pet LI, would be viewed as a threat, a villain, a creep...just for breathing in his direction.
And her writers cared so little, that they took the fanon perception for her and stamped it onto their canon, like it was the truth.
They didn't do any of this for the woman who forced a kiss on a prominent LI. They didn't do this on the woman who betrayed the MC and set her up for assault. They didn't do this to the woman who bullied the lone female LI, and swore to continue doing so till she broke.
They did this for the one woman who was fairly innocent of most of these crimes, actually respected the LI and treated him well.
They did this because they could get away with it. Because they were confident that the fandom they wrote the story for, would let them get away with it. And tragically...they were right.
--
Resources I used to learn about the Jezebel stereotype:
The "Offending" Breast of Janet Jackson: Public Discourse Surrounding the Jackson/Timberlake Performance at Super Bowl XXXVIII by Dr Shannon Holland
Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake, the Jezebel and white masculinity by Khadija Mbowe (I actually got the recommendation for the first paper from this video essay).
From Mammy to Jezebel: The Portrayal of Black Women in American Cinema from the BlackThen website
#kiara theron#anti drake walker#anti the royal romance#essay series: trr's alternative lis#long post
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Wildflower: 05
The Secret Garden
John Wick x Reader
Category: Short Series
Warning: Physical attack, actual violence and allusion to violence and brutality and concussion
Note: John is relatively younger in this fic( late thirties to early forties)
Thank you @scarlettspectra for making such amazing GIFs.
Unedited
Wildflower 04
With all the commotion in her life– discovering her mother’s letter, moving to New York after a harrowing confrontation with her father that would fester life-long resentments (or at least a decade-long?) discovering that her mother was no more, getting used to the city and its pace— (Y/N) had come to appreciate the quieter aspects of life more than ever– the lazy days, the quiet mornings at a park, or a morning bicycle ride.
But perhaps, she should have known…It was not her quiet little town, it was New York City. She had barely paid attention to the quiet rustling of approaching footsteps. She was dumb enough to not even register the barrel of the gun until the cold metal was pressing against the back of her neck.
“Don’t you fucking move bitch! Han–me your wallet.” The voice was heavy and slightly slurred.
She froze— all the self-defence videos she spent watching after arriving in New York evaporated and she stilled as the reality of the situation bucketed down on her like painful, jagged ice. She whimpered when he pressed the metal roughly against her skull, the coldness dug into her and she knew that it would become a scar at the back of her mind if she made it out alive.
“Didn’t you hear me bitch!” he hissed, shoving the gun harder against her skull, it bumped harshly, making her hiss.
“Okay, okay–” As she tried to get up, she was shoved down, falling on her stomach.
Her knees were bruised, but with the adrenaline urge, she could hardly register the pain against the fear and her heartbeat thundering against her chest– she could even feel it in her head. She whimpered when she felt his footsteps nearing before a rough hand grabbed her hair.
“Don’t play smart with me— I’ll empty this fucking gun in your dense head.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry—please just—don’t hurt me!” She felt tears gathering in the corner of her eyes– one blink and her cheeks were dampening.
Her hands shook as she pulled out her wallet and handed it to him, not even considering playing smart.
She turned to look at the man but he tugged her hair harshly, keeping her still.
“And the ring too!”
Her eyes widened at the demand.
“N–No, No, I can't give you that–please!”
She screamed when he yanked her hair, her scalp burned as fat tears rolled down her cheeks and she shivered when he snatched her hand that had the ring. Roughly taking it off her finger. Her mother’s ring, her mother’s last gift to her.
No! No, she couldn't let it go!
“No! Give me back my ring— it—” She turned around as soon as he let go of her hair. But her protests were cut short with the back of the gun striking the side of her head.
—--
It hurt. That was what she registered first before her waking mind began to register the quietness. There was a beep, but it felt like it was somewhere far– consistent though, and the longer she heard it, the closer it came, speeding up, slowing? No, speeding, no, nothing changed.
She felt her eyelids moving as her mind became more coherent. Opening her eyes was a task— but she managed— it was just one blink first, nothing decipherable. But as she blinked again, she saw something move. A black mass– no, a looming form raising up— it seemed all black. In silence, it stood up and walked out of her sight. She wanted to move her head but it was too heavy to move. Every attempt to move it was rewarded with a deep, encompassing ache originating from the side of her head and spreading all over her skull. It made her whimper.
Was it the sound of shutting the door she heard?
She was not sure anymore, instead, she sank back, relaxing on the fluffy surface– a pillow– right, it was soft and good, and she could go back to sleep.
—--
It felt like she had slept only for a minute more when she woke up again. Much more coherent this time. Registering the beeping monitor and the IV. A bit over the top for concussion. Right, she was hit on the head after she tried to save her mother’s ring from the robber.
Could not even see that rat’s face.
She shut her eyes and took a deep breath. That was so unlike her– calling somone names. But at the same time, it was, for the first time in months that she felt any other intense emotion than grief or resentment. There was a numbness that had gripped her, paralysed her, closed her heart to feeling anything– life went by just as it was, and she felt on autopilot.
But the moment her mother’s ring was snatched, it was like a bucket of ice was thrown at her, breaking her out of the numbness, the void.
She had a purpose— she wanted to go on, and she was willing to go on and live because her mother would have wanted the same. Her mother who loved her, adored her so much and left so many unanswered questions behind. Questions she probably would never get answers to.
But now, the ring was gone and she was looking up to a white hospital ceiling, the room smelt fresh but with a hint of that same old ‘medical’ smell and assessing the private room she was in— it was going to burn a hole in her pocket.
“How are you feeling now?”
Oh, there was a nurse in there too, adjusting her IV. Her vision was a bit floaty. She blinked and cleared her parched throat.
“I’m… I’m feeling–weird?”
She smiled at (Y/N)’s slow, blinking eyes.
“Concussion, honey. You’re lucky the kind man found you and brought you here. Oh, yes, your things are kept by the bed, check them out and report if something’s missing, hm?” With that, she pressed the button to bend up the upper half of the bed, making her able to sit up slightly.
“Th–thank you… the man’s around? I can thank him.” (Y/N)’s voice was scratchy and her speech came with a bit of effort, but at least the pain was reduced to a dull throbbing.
“I’m afraid he’s gone. He was there in your room an hour ago. Went away after alerting us that you’re waking up.”
(Y/N) frowned. So, she was not dreaming. She sighed and leaned back, the pillow was big and soft. Slowly, she turned her head to the side, trying to focus on the table by her bed.
She blinked as the gleaming object caught her eyes. The sunlight fell just at the right angle as if presenting it to her, ushering her to pick it up.
Her mother’s ring!
It was her mother’s ring placed on the table. Her movements felt a bit disoriented and slow but she managed to reach out to it and pick it up.
“Oh, mother…Thank you— Thank you to whoever returned this.” She whispered, kissing the ring as tears escaped her eyes.
“Everything good?” The concerned nurse asked.
(Y/N) looked up and nodded her head. If she spoke, she would cry. Assessing her quickly one last time, the nurse left after informing her that the doctor would come to check on her after lunch.
Well, that would be added to the fat bill, won’t it?
But for now, she realised she was starving, and some overpriced food was all she could have for now, so, she would settle with that. The doctor came after lunch, and she asked about the billing process and insurance.
Only to find that all her bills were paid— she would be discharged the next day– a bit of a stretch– but her vision was still floaty and moving too fast was a task.
The kind stranger also paid the bills? Food and medicines covered?
What was he, an angel?
Or was she dreaming?
When she tried to get to the name, there was surprisingly nothing. Nothing in the sense that the doctor refused to disclose.
Strange.
So, things had magically turned out to be…good?
It was unbelievable but she had her mother’s ring on her finger, the bills were paid and… and she had a private room. With a TV.
All that was left was to inform her superiors regarding her situation. And maybe her family?
She contemplated the latter. She had not spoken to him for more than five minutes on the phone. The texts were–one-worded and with the stubbornness rooted in their family, she knew that it would take time for either of them to thaw.
She sighed and reached for the TV remote. Maybe she would think through things with a clearer head. She adjusted her vision, trying to focus on the TV screen that seemed to annoyingly blur. She shouldn’t be watching TV, but she was stubborn and certified stupid so…
Flicking through the channels mindlessly, she stopped right at an address. A park near her home—wait, it was the same park she was at when she was robbed! It was the park she would go to often to watch the sunrise.
She squinted her eyes, trying to focus on the headlines. There was a dull throbbing in her head intensified, but she could barely pay attention to that. Was she reading right? The face was the same, the one who robbed her.
He was…hospitalised?
For broken ribs, teeth and well some other broken bones.
Apparently, he had mugged many before, but the police could never catch him— or maybe they never bothered.
Why would they, it wasn’t a murder yet.
She rolled her eyes at the thought.
But now, he was at a hospital, and once discharged, he would be shoved behind bars. It was only a brief headline before the news ultimately turned to politics. She switched the electronic off and leaned down, trying to relax, and not think too much.
But all she could think of was the chain of events. It now felt surreal almost. She thought she was almost dead, but there she was, safe, comfortable— the most comfortable she could be with a concussion and in a hospital, and the robber had targeted the wrong person this time.
And who was that kind man who brought her to the hospital? Completed formalities, paid the bills in advance, made sure she wouldn’t have to touch a penny from her pocket and just chose to remain anonymous— to a stubborn level? She did not understand.
New York seemed to be too much to handle.
She felt like she did not belong there. Not like she wanted to find a home in the city, no, but it was like the city itself was giving her a cold, indifferent stare. The towering buildings were not intimidating, but the sense that she was in a completely new and somehow dangerous territory was bothering her. It was disturbing even.
She felt like an outsider. Not exactly like a ‘small-town-girl’ outsider. It felt like worlds apart.
Just as she felt in the Continental.
Everything about the hotel seemed good, posh, just not normal. No matter how much it tried to imitate the ‘normal’, she did not feel a sense of comfort or even a sense of normalcy. There was something off about the hotel. The city did not feel as ‘off’, but the thought would be constantly there at the back of her mind.
(Y/N) rubbed her fingers on her forehead, touching the bandages in the process. Maybe she was thinking too much. Maybe her ‘fresh’ start in New York had begun on the wrong foot.
Maybe—
Her phone rang.
Oh right, she had texted her senior regarding her accident. Picking up the device, she pressed the button to answer the call.
Here it goes— questions and answers, and more questions.
She sighed mentally while schooling her voice to sound as pleasant as she could at the moment.
—------
The next morning, it was Alex who called her. Even through the phone, she could feel his concern. She had not shown up in the bus they would usually take to commute back home, and of course, Alex noticed.
“I will be there.”
“No, Alex, there’s no need, I’m okay. I will be discharged this afternoon. You can’t make it then anyway.”
“Why, which hospital is it? I'm coming.”
“Alex, you have a job to do.”
“I will manage (Y/N), just tell me the name and address.”
“Ale–”
“(Y/N), what are friends for if they cannot even be by your side when you need it?”
She sighed and shook her head before giving him the name and address of the hospital.
There was a short silence.
“Oh.”
She frowned at the unexpected response.
“Alex? You good? It's okay if you can’t—”
“I’ll be there.” He asserted.
“O–okay. Sure, I will be waiting.”
****
Here comes another chapter. I'm sorry if the description of her concussion was incorrect, I'm no expert. Please feel free to correct me.
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YOU SLAP THEIR ASS
X MALE READER
Characters: Matt Murdock, Eddie Brock, Steven grant, mark Spector, jake lockley, Thor, Arthur harrow, Bruce banner, jack Russell
CW: Ass slapping, mentions of spicy times
WORD COUNT: 400+
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
MATT MURDOCK
He knows.
Doesn't try and stop you tho, he actually likes it.
Gets all cheeky and cracks dirty jokes, if he's in the mood he'll be totally down to be fucked by you no matter where you are.
Arches his ass towards you on purpose.
EDDIE BROCK
Is confused.
Oh so it's like that? It's only fair to return the favor.
"What do you think you're doing human"
"What you don't like it V?"
You make a game out of it, who slaps the other more times.
Venom helps whoever was less annoying this day.
STEVEN GRANT
"Oh, haha😃❓"
Gets so blushy.
You tell him how cute his ass is
"You think.. my ass is nice?"
Doesn't know how to react but he likes it.
Secretly hopes you'll slap his ass every time you walk by, but only when you're alone.
He's really embarrassed if you do this in public and asks you to not. Respect his boundaries.
He has a thing for you playing with his ass just saying.
MARK SPECTOR
"Really? You know I could break your arm right here and now?"
Finds it kinda funny and chases you around the house, when he catches you expect your ass to be beaten.
You brought it to yourself.
Calls you a dirty boy.
JAKE LOCKLEY
Oh yeah? You really did it?
😏
Bitch I dare you to do it again.
(You do it again)
Throws you over his shoulder and onto the bed.
Pines you down "that's what you get"
Pines your head down and the rest is up to you.
THOR
"Oh? 😊"
Slaps you back.
A little hard but that's ok.
Really enjoys it, it's like a habit for the two of you.
He just does it in public, like it's a form of greeting between the two of you.
"hey babe" *ass slap, cheek kiss*
ARTHUR HARROW
"Oh you wanna play dove?"
Doesn't mind it, but won't do it himself.
"Hm I'm busy now my love but we'll continue later"
May punish you later when you're alone iykyk.
BRUCE BANNER
"Oh is everything ok? Why did you do that?"
"Just thought your ass looked cute"
"Oh ok"
Awkward smile and he's blushing.
It'll take time for him to get used to it.
But he likes it, it makes him feel good.
JACK RUSSELL
"Oo haha that's something new"
Obsessed.
He wants to feel your hand on his ass every single moment.
He's really touch starved and will want every drop of effaction and touch he can get.
Will be surprised every single time.
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
!GIFS ARE NOT MINE!
#x male reader#x reader#x masc reader#male!reader#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock#matt murdock x male reader#eddie brock x male reader#eddie brock#venom x male reader#venom#steven grant#steven grant x male reader#mark spector x male reader#mark spector#jake lockley#oscar issac#arthur harrow x male reader#arthur harrow#moon knight#daredevil x male reader#daredevil#thor x male reader#thor#marvel#bruce banner x male reader#bruce banner#jack russel x reader#jack russell#werewolf by night
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nepotism baby- drabble/prequel to to err is to love
synopsis: the breaking point of your marriage with jungkook
word count: 800
a/n: takes place before to err is to love! basically what lead to their divorce yikes.
"i literally pays the bills in this house. you don't have the right to dictate what i do with my money." the ice cold words that leave jungkook's lips puncture your heart like a tranquilizer bullet, rendering you stupefied at the unfamiliar man in front of you.
you swallow in perturbation at the sight of your indignant husband- the same man who vowed to love and protect you for life. his chest rapidly rises and falls, a hand angrily swiping through his hair in a feeble attempt to calm his raging nerves.
you felt like you've never seen this man in your life. who is he?
your adam's apple bobs in your throat before your inhale deeply, mustering the courage to grace him with a palpable response. "baby, all i said was that i don't think it's wise for you to keep spending money at Armani- i know how hard you work and im grateful-"
your words falter when jungkook shoots you an incredulous look before he scoffs. he's glaring bullets at you like you're his arch nemesis, and it grieves you beyond belief. tears that threaten to spill from your waterline begin to fall from your eyes with each plink, and the pattern of your breathing becomes painfully unpatterned.
you think that you stop breathing at the next words that shoot out of his mouth.
"but are you grateful? cause i feel like all you do is bitch and complain whenever i get home from work. you just don't get that i'm fucking tired."
the most excruciating agony courses through your veins. had you been standing, your legs would cease its function and you would have definitely collapsed. you scrutinize your husband, jaw violently quivering because you don't recognize who this person is.
"look- i'm sorry for yelling at you," despite what the bullshit he's regurgitating, his words are entirely disingenuous; he just wants to end whatever the fuck this is and go to sleep. his next words indicate just as much. "but i'm fucking exhausted from work right now so i'm going to head to sleep. you're welcome to join me in bed but you can use the guest room if you're mad- or whatever."
you gawk at his words, his coldness is practically tangible; it forms goosebumps on your skin and makes you shiver. the humiliation spreads through your system vexatiously, as if he just ignited a cataclysmic wildfire in your system, one that fiercely burns down any empathy you had in your heart.
jungkook doesn't even spare you a glance before he grovels up the stairs. his steps falter when the echo of your sobs bounces of the walls and reaches his ears. he closes his eyes, his hand coming up to massage his temples. he can't believe he has to deal with this.
"jeon jungkook, you don't get to fucking talk to me like that! you are born from nepotism!" the words rip from your throat as you uncontrollably sob into your hands. "i would be ten times more successful than you had i been given the shit you have in your life!"
jungkook exhales steadily, not even properly processing what you're saying from how how incredibly burned out he is. with a harrowing day at work, and now this? he can't take it anymore. he takes a seat on the stairs, maneuvering his head to crack his neck and hopefully expel all the stress accumulating in his body.
the shrill of your screaming immediately snap jungkook back to reality.
"the only reason i'm not fucking working is because i'm taking care of our fucking children! i've thrown my whole life away for our kids. if i could go back to work, i would but i can't right now because my body has been fucking ruined from carrying our children!" the clarity of your words debilitate as you continue, and at the end of your rant all that is coherent are your desperate and heartbroken cries.
when you effectively muffle your sobs with the cup of your palm, a deadly silence washes over the house. jungkook isn't able to conjure a response, his enervation crippling his cognitive senses.
horror seizes once your body once the cries of your now awake babies bounce off the walls and reach you.
something similar happens to jungkook, his blood turning frigid once he realizes that your crying has awoken the children.
at this point, the both of you knew that something on your paths has gone horribly wrong, but both of you are too agonizingly drained to properly pick up the first aid kit and mend things.
#jungkook angst#jungkook scenarios#jungkook fanfic#jungkook imagines#bts angst#bts jungkook angst#bts jungkook scenarios#bts scenarios#jungkook drabble#bts jungkook drabbles#jungkook drabbles
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Ianthe Tridentarius really fell in love with Harrow after she lobotomized her own brain and spent days and days thinking about and reciting what she would say when Harrow finally woke up and what she came up with was "Your eyelashes are so lovely your eyes are like flower petals lit within a darkened room" and Harrow was like "Your sister is fucking dead / your dead cavalier fucking hates you" like of course Ianthe fucking stabbed her Harrow indifferently shat all over this bitch's sappy love poetry.
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It's here, the finale - my friends thoughts throughout Nona the Ninth (it's a long one)
Right which one of these idiots is stuck in Nona's body
Signs point to both
I think more likely Harrow and shes just removed the massive stick up her ass
Most other signs thus far do point to Gideon though- lack of aforementioned stick, finds herself attractive, loves ass jokes, wants to pet dogs (Harrow seems like a don't work with animals or children type)
Also these other kids have names like they're gonna be running in the fucking grand national
Honestly what the fuck is going on with child conception in this series???
Someone has five dads, God was asking if Harrow and Ianthe were being 'safe' sexually and I'm just confused
Okay so I've only listened to half an hour today but if Crown isn't coronabeth I will eat my own arm
My theory is that neither of them are in Harrow's body and that she's being possessed by The Body
Maybe I should follow in Harrow's footsteps and ask you to fucking lobotomize me
No beta we die like Babs
"what do you think is sexy?" "Eating breakfast" Me too, Camilla, me too
Maybe someone needs to lobotomize Judith, has anyone thought of that?
Thing is I feel like I'm supposed to think John is really bad and is the villain here but I just don't
The worst thing he's done is lie to his friends for a few thousand years
Finally, the baddest bitch in all the nine houses (it's Ianthe)
What a power move honestly first she steals Babs' soul now she steals his body, absolutely inspired
She could literally kill another 200 babies to resurrect Harrow and I'd be like what a babe 😍 at this point
I'm bored of shooting can we go back to swords and doing weird things with your body please
I just think it would be great if Harrow could hop back into her body and have a full meltdown about how to function in this world
Erm Corona darling can you please try to stop them bombing your sister in the body of one of your lifelong pals pls and thanks
Y'all better sTOp
Fucking marry, kill, reanimate I can't hahahaha
"that's not actually crown's boyfriend Nona, it's her sister but I don't think anyone could blame you for getting confused" Fair hahahahah so very true
Don't know how they think this is gonna work seeing as though Harrow and Ianthe literally lived together for like over a year and had an interpersonal relationship but ok
Maybe it's because pash has the accent of a rudeboy from Oldham and suffer is weirdly French (on disliking We Suffer and Pash)
Palamades in Ianthe in Babs is sending me west
Abigail died too soon and really she did all the legwork in Harrow
Can't help but feel all of this drama could have been avoided if Harry had just done the job properly in the first place and just let Gideon die properly
All of this just because an 18 year old gave herself the brain scramblies
Cam has just burst into fire wtf
Can't believe Crux hasn't dropped dead tbh
I've got less than an hour left I feel like we're cutting it fine to get Harry back in her body here
Big flex to be waiting for everyone to arrive smoking a ciggie with your golden skeleton arm
Fucking friendship bracelets and a secret handshake hahahahah
Gideon needs to stop being such a bloody himbo
Who has shouted "get in line thou big slut!" Hahahahah
There we have it, the full series. Hope y'all have enjoyed this.
#the locked tomb#tlt#nona the ninth#Nona#ianthe tridentarius#coronabeth tridentarius#harrowhark nonagesimus
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