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deliriumandmelancholia · 8 months

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I move through tar

I get up

I make coffee

At least I think the cup is clean enough

I sit at my desk

and I stare

My hands are busy

and my mind is numb but

inside I’m screaming

Why does nobody see me?

I have tried

so hard

to reach out

No takers

Too reliant

on those

too busy

too drowning

in their own

oceans of pain

Where is the

life boat?

I’m drowning

and I’m screaming

but no one is hearing

I might as well

just fade away.

#delirium and melancholia #poetry #freestyle poem #freestyle poetry #dark poetry #mental illness

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sleepy-academia · 24 days

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after writing a paper against following your emotions, i laid in bed;

i'm sorry i missed dinner my heart was heavy and needed holding.

i can identify my word choice and argument but not my own fears.

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a-had-matter · 3 months

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tap-tap there goes a minute tap-tap there goes my time tap-tap there goes my life tap-tap there goes my mind tap-tap there went the guy i love tap-tap there went my smile tap-tap there went my non-existent career tap-tap like it'd last a while tap-tap there goes the stinging tap-tap there go the tears tap-tap everytime i think too hard tap-tap come my illogical fears tap-tap i've gotta do better tap-tap but i know i won't tap-tap i should get up on time tap-tap we all know i don't tap-tap i know i need help tap-tap i know i won't get it tap-tap cause i don't like myself tap-tap see, i admit it

snap-snap my mind's in a panic snap-snap what am i even doing snap-snap i'm getting sort of frantic snap-snap though its my own life i'm screwing

#poetry #poems on tumblr #original poem #my poem #freestyle poem #just a poem #poem #poets on tumblr #writers and poets #spilled poetry #spilled ink #i need to stop procrastinating #i really do #its bad for me #but i still will #i will still #and it sucks

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inthepoemsandthesands · 1 year

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soldier, poet, king

i took the soldier, poet, king test

i got king

of course i got king

what else was i possibly expecting

when has my life ever not been a burden for me to bear

a weight placed on my shoulders

"a natural leader" they called me as if they did not make me this way

forged me to be independent (quiet) and strong (afraid to ask for help) and a leader (needing to take charge because things are easier if

i

do

them

myself)

kings are the gifted children

i was so far ahead they didn't know what to do with me

and now i'm average

and it hurts

Duty. Strength. Resignation.

when did i stop doing things for the love of them

when did life become a chore

when did everything become a routine to follow before i could be done

when did i start hating everything i did

when did i become the king

was i always the king?

they ruined me

they turned me into this

this is their fault

and now i'm the king

yes, king.

always king.

it was never going to be different.

and i'll take the crown

and live with it

and wish

maybe

i could be the poet instead

#poem #poetry #original poetry #original poem #poet #soldier #king #poet soldier king #poets of tumblr #freestyle poem #freestyle poetry #gifted kid burnout #former gifted kid #i got the king #why is it like this #nobody wants to be the king #very long poem #im mentally ill #:) this is fine

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theoutcastedartist · 6 months

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"03's Loop"

Some thoughts about the date (Sept 30th) and what it means to me, I cycle thoughts in a constant cognitive loop.

.

FHDURJSKSJSSJ I HAD THE BEST BDAY EVER???

I'm usually the one to plan stuff for everyone and everything in my house when it comes to special occasions. I didn't have anything planned for my bday other than to sit and watch jjba

This year, I had my first ever suprise party 😭💕

(Poem under the cut,

if you wanna read it.

It is kinda long lol)

My memory is constant failure

03's Loop

Fragmented and scattered by the winds of time

What I recall is very little,

Painful and sad

20 years living

Happiness tends to not come so easily

The date is September 30th

I was born this day

Cleft lip on display

The kids at school used to

Call me songs and names

My parents have no baby pictures of me

I used to wonder why

The fragments of childhood still pierce skin years later

A once forgotten shard is found again

Recent memories dig further into the wounds

My mind with a terrible metallic buzz

Anxiety in its constant

Adult since 9,

A child at 20,

Both too young

And too old for this body,

A terrible loss for someone so seemingly bright

Yet despite it all,

This grief,

This fear,

That comes with being human,

I'd like to believe

That I will be okay in the end

Holding on for that quiet moment

Holding on for that feeling of soft fur and a warm pulse,

From a friend with pointy ears and sharp teeth,

I've always been soft for dogs

(I miss my childhood dog, Rocky)

Holding on for the day that I can sit

And listen to the rain

While drinking hot chocolate

(I still think about my last memory of him, even to this day)

I'm only 20,

I still have the rest of my life ahead of me.

Even now, I am still scared but,

I can't wait to see what the future holds for me

Guess I've always been a sucker for pain :P

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nightfall-kachiniko · 8 months

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I miss our midnight talks,

And the way you’d speak to me,

How my eyes would gleam and my stomach churn

With all the things you’d say to me.

I miss the photos on the game

Captured memories throughout our play

Like a Time Capsule in a cage,

Set free through deleted dismayed

A year and a half meant a lot to me,

As well as your ways,

As well as your laughter,

As well as your name.

I miss the times we spent,

Since we’ll never have it again.

The way life goes as you travel through paths

Sometimes you run into stone.

I miss it a lot, i truly do.

Something I thought I could never let go of.

Something I though would last a lifetime,

But now I’ve realized I’ve let go of you.

#poetic #poets corner #original poets on tumblr #poetry #female poets #poetsandwriters #writers and poets #poets on tumblr #freestyle poem #sad poem #love poem #original poem #poemsbyme #poems and poetry #poems and quotes #something greater than love

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averyblackbooks · 3 months

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#poetry #poem #freestyle poem #quote #trauma #grief

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chrysanthesun · 1 day

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I’ve loved being a child.

To run in the grass,

To giggle with my friends,

To order off the kids menu.

Later, to be so desperate to grow up.

To drive a car

Leave the state

Get a job

Go to college

I still want those things

But god do I want to play in the stream again

Or to see the flowers with the same childish wonder

To watch the fireflies in the yard without fear of judgement

I loved being a child.

And I’m happy to be an adult.

But god, will I miss the child I leave behind.

“18th Birthday”, 2024, a free verse poem by me. Shocker!! It was written on my 18th Birthday. Feeling lots of things rn but luckily tumblr is like a void to shout into, so I’ll do that.

#freestyle poem #original poem #poets on tumblr #my poetry #poetry #writers on tumblr #sad thoughts #i don’t know

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brainrotpoetry · 1 year

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floweryblume · 1 year

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Happiness will come in late March

It will knock on my wooden door,

And enter my light brown cottage.

It will be accompanied by Spring,

Who just recently visited my garden.

We will have tea together

And talk about flowers and birds.

The forest sun will be warm

And welcoming for everyone.

Happiness will come in late March

And I will accept it with love.

Feb 1, 2023

#spring #english poem #poem #poets on tumblr #poetry #original poem #freestyle poem #spring poetry #young poets #cottagecore #aestehtic #spilled ink #march

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deliriumandmelancholia · 5 months

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There is ice on the lake now Where swans used to swim I don’t know if I can stand This air of fear and isolation Their ghosts right there Before my eyes Graceful Gliding Diving their heads Shooting out of the water Dripping They quiver For a moment

There is ice on the lake now Where I saw ducks a second ago Waddling under the surface Peaceful Friends with Everyone

I’m so alone

I have no wings to follow Going south For me there are no Means of escape All I can do What I shall do I look out on that frozen lake I close my heart For a few more months

Waiting For the ice To thaw

#delirium and melancholia #poetry #freestyle poem #freestyle poetry #winter poetry #ice

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sleepy-academia · 1 month

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i knew not the justice in my anger only the restraint in her embrace and the sunlight just out of reach

i stared down at the grass and told her, "let me go." she said, "listen first - before you regain this remember that you never should have lost it."

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a-had-matter · 4 months

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I feel all mush-mushy my smiles all super droopy im sure my love and affection and my worship-the-ground-you-walk-on-ness is showing and i dont care ill tell you ill say that i have a crush on a guy with your name and they look like you and talk like you and act like you and ive liked him ever since october and i i sorta love him and if you ask if that person is you ill laugh and smile because of course it is always has been and if i die right then right there due to nerves like i always thought i would itll be ok cause the words will be out

#freestyle poem #prose #poetry #poems on tumblr #just a poem #love poetry #writers and poets #writeblr #creative writing

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inthepoemsandthesands · 2 months

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tsunami

what is a crush?

it is searching for your initial on those

"interact to claim" posts

it is thinking of your name

every time someone mentions a crush

it is looking at you

just to look

i cant help it that you're pretty

it is making you laugh and then

saying more things to make you laugh more

amid the ache in my stomach knowing

you dont feel the same way

it is promising myself

that i wouldnt write poetry about you

but here i am

with a poem

it is the ocean going out

so slowly that you dont realize

until you are standing

and a wave looms large

and you cannot help

but be swallowed

by the sea

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samaeljigoku · 1 year

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Velvet Ivory and Corpse Flowers

My heart swells with sweet venom and molded candy I touch the flesh of the darkness in moments of strength And sink into the twisted relief of fractured innocence - I have seen not the pained eyes of my true face, But know for certain that half of it would be rotten, And the other, as cruelly perfect as porcelain

How I want to be like the white bride In her room of velvet ivory and corpse flowers, But I am torn, and also envy the red king In his court of violins, of decadent madness

Fortunes rise, and fortunes fall, But none will mend me into one

-Inspired by the works of someone I admire.

#free verse #dark romance #gothic #poetry #poems on tumblr #horror fantasy #classical poetry #art poetry #freestyle poem #my writing #women's poetry #dark poetry

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cloudjacob · 9 months

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Coffee Shop (2023)

I go up to the counter to place my order.

The queer coded barista senses my nerves.

I didn’t realize that my heartbeat could be heard in “can I get an iced matcha latte?”

I take a seat close to the window

and there’s a draft from the fall air.

Old windows can’t keep the cold air out

But at least the morning light can be seen through the grey clouds.

Maybe I should have ordered a hot drink.

Some soft indie pop plays in the background.

Definitely more my taste in music.

Actually this whole place feels like a reflection of me

And I hope you feel welcome

We haven’t seen each other in 5 years

But it wasn’t like things were going great the 5 years before that

… Or the 5 years before that

A drive thru breakfast used to be our thing

On a Sunday morning.

Running errands (or at least pretending to)

It felt like our time to catch up

Over a cup of coffee in your car.

I think this might be our first time sitting in a coffee shop together.

I’ve grown to really enjoy them since the last time we saw each other

And I worry that you’ll feel overwhelmed.

You don’t leave the house much anymore

And you feel at home in the dark.

I realized I needed to not just open the curtains

But actually step into the sun.

Are you scared of the daylight?

I became comfortable in the dark too

But nighttime gives way to the mourning

And it’s morning now.

Mine night terrors are gone

But I’m afraid they’ve joined you in the daytime.

It’s okay if they have

We have extra seats at the table

And I’m just happy you’re coming.

I look up and I see you.

I see the cloud looming over your head.

The rain was always your favourite

Even though I always found it a bit depressing.

I’ve learned to see it’s charm as I’ve gotten older.

Better that than a thunderstorm.

We lock eyes

Rain falls

They sky opens

And we enjoy a cup of coffee together on this Sunday morning.

#poems and quotes #poetscommunity #short story #creative writing #daily poem #my poetry #art #artistic #artistsupport #artist in tumblr #coffee #coffee shop #queer poets on tumblr #queer poems #queer poetry #short poetry #freestyle poem #freestyle poetry

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