#forcing myself to make simple stuff like this so i actually finish art instead of getting stressed and then bored
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2023 / she is very precious to me
#touhou#cirno#touhou project#cirno touhou#touhou cirno#fanart#orbs art#doodles#digital art#forcing myself to make simple stuff like this so i actually finish art instead of getting stressed and then bored#and what do ya know. i had fun drawing this AND i really like it. like half my fav artists mostly do doodley stuff like this
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(via cat lovers Mask by mohammed elhachimi)
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Change of Heart ( Taehyungx OC)
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8
Summary : Times are changing. After years of being oppressed, werewolves are taking a stand against humans , demanding equal rights and fair treatment. Heading the movement is Kim Taehyung, the breathtaking heir to the Kim fortune and one of the few remaining Alpha werewolves in the country. His disdain for the human race is well known and well warranted. They killed his family after all….. He wants to change the world , to put humans in their place but when his five year old daughter takes a shine to their very human neighbor , maybe he has to start with a change of heart , first.
: Pairing : Taehyung x OC / Werewolf AU!!
Genre : Romance, Explicit Content
Chapter 9
“I believe you owe me an explanation....” My father’s voice was soft and steady, his gaze piercing as he stared at me. I could feel my skin thrum with distaste and the urge to take a shower was strong. I wanted to scrub my skin off, Eun Woo’s touch somehow lingering and heavy on me.
“Give me my phone back.” I said instead and my father shook his head.
“No can do. Those men you met? Paranoid bunch. They thought you and Eun Woo might have been recording something and they wanted me to check your phone. i had to reassure them and so, just for good measure, I destroyed it.”
I glared at him.
“I’m still waiting for an explanation. Two weeks ago you couldn’t stand the sight of Eun Woo.... And now here you are, at my Yacht club , claiming you’re dating the man. What are you trying to pull?” My father prompted.
“There’s nothing to say. I just... I lost my job at the preserve and I can’t really look for anything else right now Eun Woo is just helping me out.” I whispered.
My father looked surprised.
“That’s interesting, I see your pride isn’t as strong as it was when I introduced him to you at the preserve.”
I kept quiet.
"Good. I’m not surprised that you’ve come around to be honest. You are your mother’s daughter after all. Gold digger that she was, at least she left you some of her good looks for you to cash in one, yeah? ‘.
My breath caught in my throat, lips wobbling as tears sprung .
“But still.....the fact that you would whore yourself out to a bunch of animals, to keep him? It makes me wonder. What exactly is going on here, that I’m missing” ”
Taehyung , I thought miserably. I wanted him so badly right now that I felt like I would shatter if I didn’t get away from here.
I glared at my father, feeling disgust well up at the mere sight of him.
“I’m not going to do any such thing.... I’m just helping you . Eun Woo told me you’ve been looking to finish the deal and those men wanted to see me at the resort on the seventeenth. You should be thanking me right now. . ” I said defiantly and my father’s eyebrows rose.
And then he chuckled.
“I feel like you’ve bitten off way more than you can chew. But just remember, this is your doing and if things go south, i am not risking my entire reputation to rescue you. ” He said firmly.
“I can take care of myself.” I said shortly. I clenched and unclenched my fingers , trying to ground myself.
It was so amazing, how blind my father could be. He hadn’t suspected Eun Woo at all. Merely chalking him off as a perverted wolf who wanted to make a bit off money at his resort. Eun Woo was smart as well, being obtuse and sounding foolish on purpose, playing into my father’s belief that wolves weren’t intelligent.
. And this would be his downfall, I thought vindictively. The way he continually thought that wolves were foolish. That he was somehow smarter than them....
“I am not sure if I trust you entirely so I’ve asked Eun Woo to keep an eye on you, till the seventeenth. You can stay with him at his apartment. ” My father said thoughtfully
I kept my gaze down.
“At first i considered calling the whole thing off but apparently , Eun Woo’s onto something with the whole beta wolves being into voyeurism. Perhaps that’s a whole new avenue I could look into.... Those men out there....I’ve been showering them with gifts and women for months and this deal wouldn’t come through. But Eun Woo sweeps in, dangles you in front of them and suddenly they want to finish this deal in five days? Apparently, you’re the secret weapon I should have been using all along?”
I glared at him.
He looked thoughtful as he stared at me. And then he nodded, features hardening.
“So be it... You can go fuck that wolf in front of those men and I’ll get my work done. Always knew you weren’t unlike that mother of yours....” He smirked.
I felt my heart clench at that. My mother had been nothing but innocent. I recoiled when he made to stroke my cheek and he laughed again.
“He’ll come pick you up in a couple of hours . Take a shower and fix yourself. ” He gave me one last look before leaving.
The door slammed shut behind him and I sank to the floor. I stared around the room... groaning.
And then my eyes fell on the small pink phone, sticking out of my bag. My dad had taken my phone but not this . It was the pair to the toddler phone that I’d bought Luna so many moons ago. After my fallout with Taehyung I hadn’t used it at all but it had remained at the bottom of my bag. It would only connect to its pair, but no matter.
Grinning, I pulled it out, dialing quickly. If nothing else, at least dear , sweet Luna’s voice would cheer me up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“So, you’ll make all the arrangements?” Eun Woo watched Taehyung carefully, the Alpha wolf sat behind his desk flanked by two of his closest men, Kim Namjoon and Kim Seokjin. The betas were built like fucking walls , both of them narcs in the force. They stared at him, eyes narrowed in distrust and for the first time Eun Woo felt the first inklings of regret.
Taehyung for his part looked like he believed him. A laptop stood open in front of him, and the wolf had a Bluetooth device in his ear, obviously watching something on the screen. Eun Woo wondered if he had even listened to anything he had said.
“So that’s it? You offered them the resort and they said the deal’s going down.” He asked casually and Eun Woo nodded , realizing that Taehyung had been listening to him after all. .
“On the seventeenth. Yoon Jae hyun’s going to be there.”
“And Mirae...?”
“Well, just as a guest...I did imply we were seeing each other so it would be less suspicious if she were also around.” Eun Woo willed himself to sound normal.
Taehyung didn’t look suspicious but there was no telling with the beautiful alpha, who had mastered the art of keeping a straight face while destroying his enemies. And Eun Woo was well aware that if the alpha found out how he had used the girl, he would definitely be topping that list.
“Very well. I’ll make the necessary arrangements. You can go now. I’ll contact you soon.” Taehyung said shortly , his gaze flitting back to the screen infront of him.
Eun Woo nodded, before standing up on shaky legs, his heart pounding, instincts telling him he was in danger. But he pushed away the thought, grabbing his bag and leaving the office quickly.
Taehyung watched him leave, claws out and digging straight through his desk to stop himself from launching across the room and tearing the wolf’s throat out. He could smell her on him. And his wolf wasn’t happy about it.
“Fucker’s got balls, lying to your face like that.” Namjoon commented mildly, staring at the laptop, where for the past hour or so, Taehyung kept replaying the CCTV footage from the poolside camera on the yacht club.
Taehyung stared at the screen, watching the sheer discomfort and disgust on Mi Rae’s face and he’d never been filled with so much bloodlust in his life. The urged to rip the wolves to shreds, to tear them limb from limb, it simmered in his blood.
The potent rage in his veins stunned him because he’d never felt anything like it before. If he’d had any doubts about whether his wolf had made the right choice, choosing Yoon Mi Rae, it was gone. The sight of those men, ogling what was his and his alone, it made him want to kill.
They had to die. And he had to do it.
Simple as that.
And he would.
He would run them through with his claws and watch the life blood drain out of their frail, fragile bodies.
it took him some effort to compose himself.
“How long has he been running this little racket in his resort?” Taehyung asked casually, feeling inordinately foolish. It was unlike him to be so neglectful over something so incredibly important. How on earth had Cha Eun Woo managed to run something so illicit and horrendous right under his nose?
He blamed himself.
He’d trusted Cha Eun Woo, for one hot minute. Forgotten that the wolf's loyalty lay solely with himself.
Namjoon sighed, placing a file in front of Taehyung. Taehyung flipped through the pictures , stomach turning. Eun Woo had huge sprawling rooms , with beds in the center fitted with restraints and handcuffs. Comfortable arm chairs and couches dotted the rest of the room, men lounging about as they watched the action unfold. Women, drugged and barely conscious, lay on most of them and apparently, alpha wolves indulged themselves with the women.
It was the most disgusting thing he had ever encountered in his life.
And the bastard had actually dared, actually had the fucking thought of dragging his mate into it.
The mere thought of it made Taehyung laugh out loud.
Cha Eun Woo was out of his damn mind.
There really was no other explanation for it. Or maybe he’d been so blinded by his own wealth and power that he’d forgotten that Taehyung was ten times as powerful as him.
Well, whatever the reason, he clearly had a death wish.
And Kim Taehyung was going to grant it to him. With Pleasure.
“It’s new. or we would have caught wind of it before.” Seokjin said apologetically, “ Probably a few months at the most. He mostly uses the men to get tax exemptions or do get ordinances cleared for his resorts or you know, get out of adhering to construction regulation and stuff like that. In return for letting them watch alphas knot human women. ” Seokjin’s face was scrunched in disgust.
“And when I let him meet Yoon Jae hyun and his cronies, he saw an opportunity to expand his clientele and he took it. “ Taehyung hummed thoughtfully.
“Mi Rae’s with her father....” Namjoon said thoughtfully.
“Knowing that son of a bitch, he’ll probably force her to go through with it.” Seokjin shuddered.
“Well, let him bring her there. We’ll get her out. And arrest the whole lot of them.” Namjoon said with a shrug.
Taehyung stared at them for a second.
He had been determined to do this by the book, at first. But watching Cha Eun Woo molest his girl, while a bunch of impotent , old bastards ogled her....well, that really changed his mind about how he wanted to deal with these motherfucking idiots.
“No.” Taehyung said casually.
Namjoon and Seokjin stilled.
“Tae?”
“We’re not arresting any of them.” He said casually. And then he gave Seokjin a slow, calculated smile.
Namjoon’s eyes widened as realization set in.
“Tae-” He began , looking worried but the Alpha merely stared at him.
“I’m going to trust that my two best men are going to make that happen for me?” he drawled, eyes flashing red in a way that said it wasn’t really a request.
Seokjin groaned.
“Fine. But we’ll still have to get an arrest warrant and all that. Don’t want the guy to be hailed as a victim or a martyr after I kill him. that always pisses me off.” He said distastefully and Taehyung hummed.
“I’m going to leave that to your capable hands, gentlemen. “
“We’ll get things ready then. “ Namjoon said casually making to move away and Taehyung nodded, watching the two betas move to the door.
“Good., oh and one more thing....” he called out , making them both turn.
“What’s wrong?” Seokjin asked , confused.
“Cha Eun Woo... he’s mine. Bring him to me when you’re done with the others.” Taehyung whispered.
Namjoon grimaced but Seokjin merely grinned. Ironically, although he looked soft and almost feminine in his beauty, Seokjin was the meaner one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taehyung came home to see his daughter giggling uncontrollably on the couch, her phone pressed to her ear and he was confused.
The only one who could call her on that phone was him and-
His eyes widened, realization hitting him hard as he all but pounced on the couch, wrestling the phone out of Luna’s hands before he could think his actions through.
“Rae...” He breathed in disbelief.
“Taehyung?” Her voice came out surprised and relieved and he felt like he was flying. It felt like liquid honey in his ears, the sweet cadence of her tone filling him with sweet blessed relief. He hadn’t even realized how badly he had wanted to hear her voice, to get some confirmation that she was alright.
“Dada dada dada...gimme gimme ...I wanna talk to Rae Rae...!!!” Luna bounced next to him, tugging on his arm and he struggled to keep his balance.
“ How did you call? I’ve been trying to reach you and-”
“Dada!!! Please...i haven’t spoken to her in ages...lemme talk to Rae Rae...!!” Luna’s voice was shrill and unrelenting.
“My dad got my phone.... I’m supposed to be with Eun Woo” He could almost see her rolling her eyes as she said that and he felt fondness bloom inside him at the though.
“Dada!! Lemme talk!” Luna was beginning to climb him now and he flinched when her tiny little claws came out, easily piercing the silk of his shirt and digging into his arms.
“Damn it! Luna will you let me talk to your mother for one damn second?!!!!!” Taehyung shouted, frustration spilling out of him before he could tamp it down.
Luna froze on his arm.
It took him another ten seconds to realize what he just said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My heart thudded straight up to my throat, my lungs constricting so hard that I almost choked.
I gripped the phone hard, fingers shaking as i tried to process what I’d just heard.
“Shit... Oh shit..” Taehyung swore and I startled.
“Don’t swear in front of her...” I hissed automatically . “ Taehyung what the fuck-”
“You’re swearing now!!” He shouted.
“Can you blame me?” I shouted back, my heart pounding. “ I’m not...what the hell do you mean mother?!!”
“I’m sorry... I don’t know why I said that.. It just slipped out.. i... you’re my mate and ... I know you told me not to call you that but I’m sorry , that’s what you are and she’s my daughter so I guess I just.. “
“We’ll talk about this later. “ I snapped, too tired to deal with his twisted feelings. “You have to get me out of here! The last thing I want to do is spend another minute with Cha Eun Woo. ”
“God, Rae... are you alright? ..”
“I’m fine but can you get me out of here? I wanna get out of here!” I whispered.
“Are you in your dad’s apartment? Is he hurting you?”
I sighed in defeat, knowing exactly what was going to happen.
“Let me guess....you want me to stay with the pervert till you finish saving the world.” I groaned.
“We need him at that resort on seventeenth. This whole thing is beginning to infuriate me and I’m going to end it. For good.” Taehyung’s voice carried a hard edge to it that made me wince.
“Are you gonna be there?” I asked, worried.
“I am.”
I bit my lips.
“Did Eun Woo tell you how he got those men to agree to come there?” I asked hesitantly.
“He didn’t but I know. Don’t worry about, I’ll deal with that....”
“If he didn’t tell you how did you know?” I asked, confused.
Silence.
“ i planted a bug on him. And I had spycams set up around the pool.”
“I didn’t like what he did.” I whispered. “ I don’t... I know its for a reason but the way he touched me I... I didn’t like it...”
Taehyung didn’t respond for a few seconds.
“ Mi Rae , what he did was so far out of line that I can’t even begin to tell you how angry it makes me. But, don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m going to take care of him too. ” He said finally.
I felt myself itch with the need to get away. To reach Taehyung. And Luna..God, listening to her voice after so long....listening to her happy , joyful delight.,..
“I want to see you.” I begged, dignity forgotten. “ I want to see you and Luna.. Taehyung get me out of here!! Please.!!!”
Taehyung groaned.
“Baby, listen to me... just leave with Eun Woo for now , he won’t touch you, I’ll make sure of that.....”
“No you can’t make sure of that!!” i snapped. “ You don’t know how it felt to have his hands on me.... I.... I can’t bear the thought of him near me... Please, please, get me out of here.”
A steady beeping made me jump and I stared at the phone in my hand. A red light blinked steadily on the upper edge made my heart drop. The battery was running out. Of course it was . I hadn’t used this in days.
Tears sprung before I could tamp down on my own misery,
"Tae...Can you hear me?” I choked out. “ Tae... I can’t explain it. I feel weird.... I feel miserable and scared and to be honest, I hate my own skin right now.... Ever since he touched me... I feel like ....”
Another series of beeps and the call ended. My fingers were shaking as i stared at the phone in misery.
This whole thing was spiraling into something scary and unpredictable and for once, the fear refused to ebb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Taehyung...we can’t...”
“Call him.... We’re moving this thing up to tonight. I’m not waiting a whole four days to rip these bastards to shreds. ” Taehyung roared, clenched fist coming down on the mahogany surface of his table with enough force that Namjoon heard the tell tale sound of wood splintering.
He flinched.
Taehyung was enraged and the beta wolves felt like they were walking on literal eggshells.
Seokjin held a hand up, trying to calm the infuriated wolf.
“Okay... Okay...listen , we can’t just go in guns blazing and just kill some of the most prominent men in the country, Taehyung. That’s not how it works. ”
Taehyung tried to keep his temper in check but it was impossible. God, the way she had sounded on the phone. Cha Eun Woo was lucky he wasn’t in front of him right now... Taehyung was going to tear him limb from limb for this.
“So what, I just hand her over to him for the next five days?” He snarled. That wasn’t going to happen. it would be one thing if she was comfortable with it, but there was no way he was letting Eun Woo within fifty feet of her, not when she sounded so upset.
“This is what happens when you ignore your fucking biology and act like a whole entire idiot. “ Seokjin snaps. “ There’s a reason people spend days locked in after mating!! Your bond is fragile and sensitive. Just because you don’t want to fuck her into the wall anymore , it doesn’t mean your bond is settled. She’s probably feeling just as worse....and she likely has no clue why ...”
Taehyung felt his head throb.
“She’s human...she won’t feel the bond...” He muttered.
Seokjin scoffed.
“Are you serious, Tae? The mating bite connects you to her. You know that right? Yes, its not going to be as potent as it is for us , but human mates can sense the bond. The reason she’s so desperate to see you right now is because you carted her off with another wolf, before the bond could even settle. A wolf who for all intents and purposes sexually assaulted her.”
Taehyung’s breath caught in his throat.
He’d been avoiding that thought , tried to downplay what Eun Woo had done, just for the sake of his own sanity. But Seokjin was right. What Eun Woo had done was just that and Taehyung had literally given him the license to do it.
“I need to see her .” He whispered softly.
“I’ll go get her.” Namjoon replied gently.. Taehyung stared at him, frowning.
“How?” he asked, shortly. His mind felt so foggy, so unlike himself. He was usually the sharpest man in any room, solving problems before they even cropped up, ever missing anything. But right now, he couldn’t think beyond getting her back in his arms.
“With them... I’ll go with them and tell Eun Woo I’m going to bring Mirae here..... Will that be enough? We’re this close to ending this for good, Tae. Don’t ..let your instincts mess this for you...”
Seokjin scoffed.
“Shut the fuck up, the pair of you. Taehyung stop thinking with your dick for a second and consider what we’ve been doing..... This raid has been in the works for three whole years. We’re not going to do something stupid now. Namjoon and i will go see Eun Woo....Give him a taste of what will happen if he touches Rae.... and then we’ll be back here.”
He smiled then, wide and beautiful and even Taehyung felt a cold shiver run up his spine.
Seokjin continued,
“ Five days from now, we’re going in, collecting enough evidence to bring the bastards down and then, to satisfy Taehyung’s bloodthirsty soul, we’ll rip a few throats out too. How’s that sound? ”
it sounded fucking fantastic especially the last bit.
“What if you piss Eun Woo off and he calls off the whole thing...?” Namjoon protested and Seokjin rolled his eyes.
“The mutt’s playing in the big league now. He was the one who offered them the whole show, think they’ll take too kindly to him backing out all of a sudden? Probably won’t..... He’s gonna have to stick with it. If for no other reason than to cover his own ass. ”
“You’re not leaving Rae with him. I want to come with you guys....” Taehyung said firmly.
“Oh, God. No. Absolutely not. I’m not burying Cha Eun Woo’s decapitated body tonight. That’s just not going to happen.” Namjoon held his hands up.
Seokjin grinned.
“As loathe as I am to admit it, Namjoon is right. You don’t have to be there. Don’t worry, we’ll be thorough. Make sure he understands we aren’t playing around. And we’ll think of something with your girlfriend. We can’t bring her to you.... Jae hyung has eyes on you , you know that. We’ll make sure she’s somewhere safe. ”
“You know you can trust us , Tae. We’re going to make sure this fool gets what he deserves.”
Taehyung nodded, skin still thrumming with discomfort. He wasn’t going to feel better until he saw her, but it looked like he had to wait for a while.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I stared at the two wolves flanking Eun Woo, each one holding him up by one arm, his knees bent at an odd angle. He looked unconscious .
“Sorry. He wasn’t supposed to pass out but the fucker’s just a huge ass coward. Didn’t even last five minutes.”
“Five minutes of what?” I whispered, staring in mild horror at the blood dripping steadily from the man’s temple.
“Five minutes of us demonstrating what happens to people who covet things that don’t belong to them.” Seokjin smiled brightly.
“Jungkook’s on the way here.... You know him right? Taehyung told me he’s a friend of yours. He’s going to let you crash with him for a couple of days That okay? “
I stared between the two of them.
“Are you sure? My father....”
“Oh your father won’t know, sweetheart, don’t worry about that. You know the original plan was for us to just warn this fool and he would come to his senses . But he chose to be an idiot and mouthed off about fucking anyone he wants to fuck.... So, Joon and I are going to keep him away from you. We owe Taehyung that much.” The wolf had a breathtaking face, impossible to look away from.
“Can’t I go to Taehyung?” I said stupidly and they exchanged looks.
“No wonder he’s whipped. She’s gorgeous.” Namjoon muttered under his breath.
Seokjin elbowed him sharply.
“Uh.. no. That’s going to be difficult because ....well, for starters its going to be pretty suspicious if you randomly show up at the Official residence of a Minister.”
I flushed.
“He’s not staying at his condo?” I asked hesitant.
Seokjin shook his head.
“He’s taking office in a few days, Yoon Mi Rae, ssi. He’s under the limelight right now. Which is why we think it would be safer for you to stay elsewhere. Your father is probably watching him closely.”
I closed my eyes, feeling jittery. I startled when arms wrapped around me, warm and firm.
“hey..... you alright?” The taller, dimpled wolf gave me a concerned glance and i realized I’d swayed a little.
“I’m sorry... I’m fine.. I’m just...”
“It’s the bond.” Seokjin said gently and I stared at him.
“Bond?” I muttered, confused.
“He claimed you. It sounds archaic but you do belong to him. Your body recognizes that even if your heart or mind doesn’t. “ He sounded almost apologetic.
I groaned.
“So I’m going to feel this way...”
“Anytime someone else gets close to you, yes.”
I remembered how averse I had been to Jungkook touching me in the tub, that morning after.
“So this isn’t real? I want to be with him but it isn’t real...and I can’t be with anyone else either -”
“Hey...Hey...listen. That’s not what I’m saying. Just the fact that the bond formed is proof that you guys have something special. If you weren’t into each other his wolf would have rejected the bond at once. But I’m just saying, for a few days, maybe indulge your baser instincts and stick to him, yeah? Once the bond settles , you can make better decisions without being physically affected by them.” Seokjin said gently.
I sighed peering over at Eun Woo.
“What are you going to do with him?”
Seokjin hesitated.
“Take him to our place probably. Can’t risk him running around wrecking havoc. Don’t worry about it. Five days max. This whole thing will blow over and you won’t have to see him again.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You okay?” Jungkook placed a pair of towels at the foot of the bed, looking concerned as he stared at me. I sat on the bed, knees drawn up and arms folded over them staring at him.
“I’m so screwed.” I whispered.
Jungkook smiled.
“It always feels that way.... at first. Don’t worry, you guys will work this out.”
“I’m scared. My father ...he... he’s always been a bastard but... I never saw him as someone dangerous. But I think he is. I’m scared he’s going to hurt Taehyung.” I said softly, finally voicing what I’d been worried about all along.
Jungkook gave me a sharp look.
“That’s not going to be easy. Hyung can take care of himself. I’m an alpha myself and you won’t see me going against him. Everyone knows he’s not someone you should underestimate. “
“But I’m still worried..... I... I don’t want him to get hurt.”
“I’m glad you don’t want me dead anymore.”
Taehyung’s voice sent a jolt of electric current straight up my spine. I scrambled, turning around to the window in shock.
The alpha sat perched on the window sill, looking entirely unbothered for someone dangling a good fifty feet off the ground.
“Hyung , what? Get in here!!!” Jungkook hissed, reaching for him, but he was already throwing his legs over and dropping to the carpeted floor with ease.
“Don’t trust you enough to leave her with you for the night, Jungkook-ah...” He said casually, but his eyes danced with mirth.
Jungkook rolled his eyes.
“She smells like you now hyung.... I’m not going there ..”
Taehyung gave me a surprised look.
“She does?”
“The bond’s settling then.” Jungkook said. “ This is my cue to leave. Where’s your security detail hyung? Tell me I’m not going to get shot in my sleep for kidnapping the Minister for Supernatural affairs.”
Taehyung chuckled.
“They know where I am... I’m only here for the night. I have stuff to do in the morning.” He turned to me holding his arms out, “ You okay?”
I threw myself at him without a second thought.
It felt like gears slotting together perfectly, his arm around me calming the simmering discomfort under my skin so quickly that I went limp.
I closed my eyes, gripping his tight, letting my eyes fall shut as I inhaled the musky , woody scent of him. I heard the door close softly behind Jungkook and Taehyung ran his palms up and down my back.
“I may possibly be the worst mate in history.” He commented mildly.
I snorted.
“There’s no competition there. You win, hands down.” I muttered. He pulled back to stare at me, hands coming up to gently cup my face.
“I’m going to kill him.” He said softly and I frowned.
“I thought he was only doing what you asked him to.” I said , frowning.
Taehyung gave me a sharp glance. His hands slipped to my wrists, tugging me to the bed. I settled on the mattress and he took his shoes off carefully.
“God, no. Do you really think I’d do something like that?” He gave me a wounded look and i bit my lips.
“How would i know? All you told me was that you needed Cha Eun Woo to help you”
Taehyung hesitated.
“He’s been running a brothel in that resort. A brothel were old or impotent wolves can watch alphas knot human women..... Its been going on for a while. i never knew. He’s been hiding it really well.”
I felt my jaw come unhinged.
Suddenly, the way he had talked about how I would look, having sex with an alpha wolf, the way he had described it to those men, it made sense.
“He told them ... he made it seem like I was one of those women.” Bile rose up in my throat.
Taehyung reached out, fingers lightly gripping my waist and tugging me closer.
I hesitated, not sure what he wanted but he scooted back to lean on the headboard, long legs stretched out in front of him and he held his hand out again.
“Come here.” He whispered gently. “ i can think better if you’re in front of me”
Seokjin’s words echoed in my head , maybe indulge your baser instincts and stick to him, yeah? Once the bond settles , you can make better decisions.
I crawled over on my knees.
Taehyung reached out , gripped my waist with both hands and lifted me straight up into his lap like I weighed nothing. i yelped, knees hitting the mattress on either side of his waist as I tried to spread my thighs wide enough to accommodate him .
He kept his hands on my waist, grabbing the hem of my blouse and tugging it out of my skirt. He slipped his fingers in till he grazed my bare skin, thumbs rubbing soothing circles against the heated flesh.
“Feel good?” He whispered softly.
I tilted my head, regarding him thoughtfully.
“When have you ever made me feel anything but good, Alpha Kim?” I smirked, my tone dripping with sarcasm.
The fingers on my waist tightened, hard enough to bruise and I choked , gripping his shoulders , feeling the hard jut of his shoulder blades beneath my fingers.
“Behave.” He warned softly, “ I’m trying to start this right.”
I sighed.
“Start what?”
“This.. You and I. Together. As more than just friends.”
I straightened, surprised.
“Taehyung-”
“I came here tonight, not because I had to...not because I needed to... but because I wanted to. I want you to know that. I’m here not by obligation but because I wanted to see you. Because I care for you.” He stared right at me but i couldn’t help but be wary.
I looked away.
“That's not what you said the last time we met which was literally this morning...” i protested.
“ Rae, I was so fucking scared. I’ve been living inside my own head for too damn long. I’ve always had these....fucking rules inside me. Rules that i couldn’t bring myself to break. I don’t break the law, I don’t get involved with humans, I don’t trust humans, I always do stuff by the book..... But today, just...seeing what happened at that pool...... I realized I’ve been so fucking blind. ”
I swallowed.
“That’s not your fault...”
“It is... “ He said shortly. “ I’ve been so caught up with keeping my own rules, with fighting humans that I forgot that not all wolves are saints either. I’ve been so focused on your father because he’s human that I didn’t even consider that the men actually funding and dueling this entire drug racket...they’re wolves like me. That it isn’t humans who exploit us but men in power. Men in power who twist the law and use it as leeway to do whatever shit they want. “
“You couldn’t have known.” I said weakly.
“I could have. If I’d wanted to. Two months ago Cha Eun Woo built a beach side resort in Jeju Do, very close to some endangered coral reefs I remember reading about it and wondering how he could have possibly gotten a permit to do that shit. But then i never followed through with it. And I wonder if it was because I considered him a friend. A friend whose favor I would need in the future. And what does it say about me, if my moral values are so selective? I can’t act high and mighty about bringing your father down while I’ve been letting Cha Eun Woo run a fucking sex trade right under my nose.”
I pressed a palm to his face, my heart breaking at the sheer exhaustion on his face.
“You can’t fix the entire world, Taehyung. You’re not meant to single handedly solve every problem in the country...... “ I whispered.
He shuddered.
“But if i don’t , who will?” He stared at me. “ Someone has to make an effort right?”
I nodded.
“Yes... You’re right. And you’ve done enough. You’ve done more than your fair share. And you can do so much more, if you let yourself relax. If you let yourself breathe when you’re drowning you can swim so much further.”
He stared at me.
“My daughter.” He choked out. “ She really thinks you’re her mother. “
I bit my lips in distress.
“Tae, I’m so sorry-”
“ Her mother died when she was barely three....So she doesn’t remember her much. She only remembers her scent which was yours.... She... She really wants you with us, Rae.”
“You shouldn’t have said that on the phone. What were you thinking calling me her mother...” I whispered, shaking my head.
“ I think I saw you as Luna’s mother. the moment you held her that day, in the dock , in the rain. The way she relaxed in your arms...The way her face lights up at the thought of you... I... I want that for her. I want her to have that...forever.”
I let myself look at him.
“And what about you? What do you want? “
He held my gaze for a long time. I felt my heart begin to pound, anticipation clawing up my spine.
“a bowl of patbingsu would feel great.” He said seriously.
It took me a second to realize what he’d just said. I punched his shoulders, not in the mood for jokes at all.
“Sorry sorry...that was bad timing.” He grinned.
“The worst. Are you asking me out or not?” I demanded.
"I am asking you to move in.” He said softly. “ As my mate.”
I couldn’t bring myself to speak.
“It may seems too much , especially for a human but I’m a were and I want you in my house. Want your scent there, mingling with mine and I want my daughter to see us together. I want you to be...the woman I love.”
“Don’t throw the L word around like that . It scares me..” I muttered and he smiled.
“I’m not a teenager Rae. The L word as you call it, it doesn’t scare me. I have a daughter, I know love in its purest form. And I’m not afraid of saying it either.”
“Well, I’m just not sure if you even mean it.” I said desperately.
“I do mean it. I love you and I know that because I broke every rule I’ve been keeping for the past twenty years , just because of a five minute video clip of another guy touching you .”
I shook my head.
I felt overwhelmed.
Somewhere beneath that chaos, I was happy, of course I was. But for now, the exhaustion and weariness won out, and I edged closer, resting my head on his shoulders.
He hugged me closer and i felt the gentle press of his lips against the top of my head.
“Let’s sleep.” I whispered. “ I’m so tired.”
He hummed.
“Would you like me to leave?”
I shook my head.
“No. Stay.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke up sometime in the middle of the night, to find myself on my side his arms wrapped right around me, tight and firm. I wondered how numb his arm must be, and wriggled a bit, swallowing the dryness in my throat.
He grunted and gripped my waist, stopping me from moving.
“You need to stop grinding on my dick, darling.” He choked out. I froze, face flaming.
“Sorry... I...”
“It’s alright. What’s wrong?” He whispered, fingers brushing my hair back.
I stared at the wall in front of me, lightly stroking the arm wrapped around my waist.
“I feel better when I’m with you.” I whispered. “ Even when i barely saw you, those months in your home in the preserve...I always felt better when you were around. It was irrational, how much I liked you and wanted to be with you, seeing as I didn’t know much about you at all... And It makes me wonder, if perhaps you and I, perhaps we aren’t that different.” I said.
He hummed.
“How so?”
“Maybe wolves aren’t the only ones who can sense their mates . Maybe humans can too....maybe we sense it but we’re just too scared to act on it.”
“Why should you be scared...?”
“Because sometimes, even your mate rejects you and that stings.” I smiled. His grip tightened around me.
“I will spend the rest of my life atoning for what I put you through...” He kissed my neck and I trembled.
“It wasn’t a sin.” I said laughing at how serious he sounded. “ It was you being true to yourself . i appreciate that.”
“But I hurt you. I hurt my mate. As a wolf that is unforgivable.”
“Well , then you’re lucky that I’m not a wolf, aren’t you? Because I’ve already forgiven you.”
He tugged me around gently till I was on my back, before climbing on top of me.
“Can I kiss you?” He brushed the hair off my face.
“I don’t know. Can you?” I grinned at him.
He growled.
“brat.”
He pressed his lips against mine, a soft and gentle touch that lasted for just a few seconds before he drew back.
And then he leaned in again, this time , lips parting, soft and wet as it closed over mine, tongue sweeping across the seam of my lips, begging entrance. I relaxed into the pillows , letting him take the lead.
Taehyung kissed like he did everything else, firm and hard but somehow careful and gentle.
The soft press of his fingers on my chin as he tilted my face for better access, the way his tongue licked into my mouth in soft kittenish licks, the way his teeth nibbled on the plushness of my lip, only for his tongue to lick and sooth the sting right after....
His kisses tasted like scotch and honey, like spring water in the middle of summer , cool and refreshing nd reaching so far inside me that I ached for it. He was strong and warm against me, his hair felt like spun silk beneath my fingers . i traced the contours of his face , the sharp edge of his jawline, the softness of his perfect brows and the sharpness of his collarbones.
My mind was reeling by the time he pulled away.
“Can I fuck you ?” He asked softly and I jolted at the filthy words in that deep earnest tone.
“I don’t know Can yo-?”
He didn’t let me finish. Groaning as he sat up, gripping the hem of his t shirt and peeling it off. I watched as he shimmied out of jungkook’s sweatpants ,before straddling me again.
“Take that t shirt off for me.” He smiled and I quickly shrugged it off.
“Mmm.... beautiful. I love your breasts....such pretty pink nipples.” He said casually and i choked a bit when he reached down, thumbing at the hard nubs till they pebbled up under his touch.
I threw my head back as he bent over, peppering kisses all over my jaw before moving down to lick my nipple, lips closing over the nub for one second before nipping at them with his teeth. I felt the hardness of his erection against the softness of my stomach as he grabbed my panties, tugging them off me.
“I like it rough.” I whispered into his ear and he growled, reaching forward and grabbed the hair at the back of my head, yanking me away from his face.
“Then let me fuck your face.” He said casually, scooting forward and pressing his cock right up against my lips. I took the hard length of him into my mouth. He tasted tangy and familiar , from the texture of his skin like silk on steel , to the way slight saltiness of his precum on my tongue. I loved the way his fingers gripped my hair, just a little too tight for comfort and a little short of violent.
I moaned in disappointment when he pulled out a little, but only to place himself properly , one hand gripping the head board for support. Bracing himself against the headboard, Taehyung threaded one hand through my hair, gripping carefully till heat seeped through my entire body at the sting of it, and then he began thrusting into my mouth gently, pushing past my teeth and deeper into my mouth. I inhaled each time he pulled out, trying to tamp down my gag reflex, as i took the entire hot, wet length of him inside my mouth.
He picked up the pace, letting go of the head board in favor of gripping my hair in both hands, holding me in place as he fucked into my mouth till my eyes watered.
I felt myself dripping wet with arousal and I tapped his thighs. He pulled back to stare at me.
“You alright?”
“Fuck me.” I choked out, throat fucked raw and voice breaking. “Need you inside me now-”
He didn’t wait for me to elaborate, grabbing my waist and turning me over at once.
“Hands and knees., grab the headboard.” He growled and I scampered to obey.
“Good girl, Now just hold on let me make you feel good, yeah, baby?”
I felt a soft, wet kiss right on my spine, before fingers gripped my hair again , tugging me back just as he slid right into me.
The shock of it made me stop breathing, his cock so thick and hard it felt like I’d been split open.
“How does that feel baby? ...” He whispered, bending over and kissing my neck. “ Am i making you feel good” I fought to get words out and then groaned when he slid back in , a little rougher and a little faster.
He stopped again, pulling out and hitting my thigh, the sharp sting making me yelp.
“Roll over, sweetheart.” He whispered and I blinked groggily, rolling over to stare at him. He grabbed a spare pillow, folding it in half before pushing it under my hips.
i blinked in confusion as he loomed over me again, this time grabbing my leg and throwing it over his shoulder. before pushing back in. deeper this time, the tip of his cock hitting so deep that I felt a sting of pain that made me wince.
He caught the look on my face and smiled, apologetic.
“Sometimes, too big isn’t too good. You’re a little small for me, I’m hitting your cervix. Let me fix that.” He fixed the pillow again and this time when he pushed in , it was pure pleasure, his cock brushing my g spot with ease and making me clench around him like a vice. He moved to his knees, still inside me and I groaned in protest when his weight lifted off me.
“Wanna see you cum, angel..” He whispered, using his thumb to press and slide over my clit in smooth, little strokes . I could feel my wetness leaking all over the place and I felt my throat go dry when he scooped up the dampness, before tracing the slick wetness all over my nipples and bending low and licking it all off.
“Taste so sweet, my baby...” He whispered, “ Wanna try?”
I barely registered what he said, eyes fluttering shut and I yelped when he lightly flicked my lips.
“Open your mouth..you should taste how good you are...” He grinned wickedly.
Before i could reply he was already slipping two fingers between my legs, collecting more of the heady slickness. I moaned as he slipped the fingers into my mouth, smearing it all over my tongue , the spicy sweetness foreign and yet arousing against my tongue. I felt my eyes widen as the taste filled my tongue, making me clench harder around him.
“Tell me you taste good...” He pulled back and rammed again inside me , is fingers moving back to my hair and gripping tight.
“I.. i taste good..” I stuttered.
He grinned in appreciation and held my hips, swiftly flipping us over till I was on top, his cock slipping out of me because of how wet and messy i was. I struggled to pace myself and yelped when he casually grabbed my hips, lifting me up and bringing me down till I took the entire hard length of him inside.
“Wait...stop.” He said suddenly and I froze. And then he was sitting up and turning me around making me kneel, facing away from him and i finally noticed the large dresser mirror, right across from the bed.
I met his gaze through the reflection, swallowing.
“When I watched you put on make up today, the way you stared at me through the mirror and put me in my place.... I was thinking I should do this.... .stare at you through a mirror someday and put you in your place. Didn’t think it would be so soon, baby.”
I panted as he moved behind me, using his hands to lightly part my thighs. And the he was pushing closer, sliding into me and I gasped, gripping him tighter as he used one hand to fondle my breast while the other wrapped tight around my hip, bracing me for his thrusts.
It lasted less than two minutes. I came unraveled, my mind exploding in glorious white hot pleasure and his warmth washed inside me, filling me and dripping down my thighs till i fell back against him, boneless and spent .I fell forward on to mattress, my limb jelly and he groaned, draping himself over me.
“Hope that was sufficiently rough and filthy for you, my dear.” He whispered.
I could barely think, let alone string words together so i stayed quiet, letting him pull me closer and hold me tight.
i shifted as he moved to settle his head on my breasts, his arms and legs draping over me while his breath fanned hot and cold against my sweat slicked skin.
His phone buzzed right next my head and he frowned.
And then he laughed, turning to show me the screen
From Jeon Jungkook :
I’m in the next room hyung!! Fucking stop. !!!
I grinned despite myself.
Good Lord.
~~~~~~~~~
Author’s note :
Ummm...hi?
Guess this isn’t ending in ten chapters fml.
@veronawrites
@ladyartemesia
@bumb1e–bee
Some of you sent me an ask to be tagged but i couldn’t tag you guys...probably because you’ve made your profile private.... So I’m sorry about that.
#taehyung smut#taehyung fanfic#taehyung werewolf au#bts werewolf au#bts smut#bts au#bts fanfic#bts smut fic#bts fics#bts taehyung#taehyung fics
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Art of Aardman
I found myself a cheap copy of the Shaun the Sheep movie, so I was rewatching a bunch of Aardman films earlier this month and decided to hunt down some books too. For anyone that doesn’t know, Aardman is a British stop-motion studio that does fantastic work like Wallace and Gromit, Shaun the Sheep, Chicken Run, Early Man… tons of cool stuff. They’re always quirky and funny and warm-hearted. This was just a very nice art book for anyone that’s a fan of Aardman stop motion and wants to see a bit extra; it shows some cool concept art and blows up the neat details in Aardman work, especially in their intricate stuff like The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists!
Asterix and the Picts (Asterix and the Chariot Race, and How Obelix Fell Into The Magic Potion)
I decided to try a couple of the new Asterix comics that were done by the new team, just to see if they stand up to the old ones (that and How Obelix Fell Into The Magic Potion cause I’d never read that one before). They were pretty decent! Asterix and the Picts was my favourite of the two though I wouldn’t say either are going to contest for my favourite Asterix comic... but still! The art looks good and the stories felt like what I would expect, they made for a pleasant couple evenings of reading especially since it’s been so long since I’ve read a new Asterix comic. If you’ve never read Asterix it’s one of the biggest name French comic series in North America, as far as I know and very worth the read. It’s about a single Gaulish village that’s holding out against the invading Romans through sheer force of will, slapstick hijinks, and a magical super-strength potion brewed by their druid. Lots of fantastic visuals and cute wordplay, even in the English translations.
Bear
I found out about this bastion of Canadian literature via tumblr post that was losing its collective mind over the fact that some bizarre bear-based erotica novella somehow won the most prestigious literary prize available in Canada. Since I too found this hilarious and unspeakably bizarre I had to give it a read, obviously. And yes, the flat surface level summary is... a librarian moves out into rural Ontario and falls in love with a literal for-real not-supernatural-not-a-joke bear. And I have to say… it is actually worthy of an award, which I was not expecting given that I was there for a laugh. It has beautiful writing, and the subtextual story is pretty interesting… it kind of makes me think of The Haunting of Hill House actually in terms of themes. (Womanhood, personhood, independence, autonomy partially achieved through escaping the male gaze by claiming non-human lovers... listen if I were still in university I would right a paper comparing the two novels).
I dunno man, it’s fucking weird. Actually a well-written book, but sure is about a woman falling in love with a literal bear. Give it a read if you want something bonkers but like… high-brow bonkers.
Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites
Best book I have read in like… a while. A long while. I am not a fast reader, and I consumed 90% of this book over a weekend. It’s not at all like Terry Pratchett, but at the same time it scratched an itch for me that I haven’t had satisfied since Pratchett’s death. A very clever, hilariously funny poly romance between a disabled werewolf, an anxious vampire lord, and an incredibly powerful woman, with heaps of social satire, political commentary, and sinister undertones. The whole thing reads a bit like fanfiction and I say that in the most flattering way possible -- it is so easy to jump right in and be immediately taken over by the characters and the world and the plot, you never feel like you’re fighting to engage even though the world-building is fascinating and expansive. It welcomes you in right away, it was the book equivalent of a quilt and a hug which is something I sorely needed with all this pandemic bullshit. If you read any of the books on this list, go read that one while I sit here in pain waiting for the sequel.
Kid Paddle
I watched the cartoon of Kid Paddle as a kid and was thinking about it recently, so I decided to hunt down some of the original comics online. They’re fun and weird, with a cute art style and fantastic monsters designs. (My favourites are always about Kid either daydreaming or playing games that involve Midam’s weird warty troll creatures. It’s like a cross between Calvin and Hobbes and Foxtrot with the fun sort of quirks that I love in Belgian comics. Unfortunately, unlike Asterix, I’ve only come across these ones in French, but if you can read French it’s totally worth popping over to The Internet Archive and reading the ones they have available.
The Last Firehawk: The Golden Temple
The lastest Firehawk book. Despite being written for quite young readers, I did enjoy the early books in this series quite a bit. They’re about a young owl and squirrel who found an egg for a magical species that was believed to be extinct. With the newly hatched firehawk, the three of them head off on a mission to find an ancient firehawk magic that could save the entire forest. Very basic adventure story but a good intro to the tropes for children. Unfortunately the quality really feels like it drops with each subsequent book; this will probably be the last one I bother reading.
Lumberjanes: The Moon Is Up
I honestly think I enjoy these Lumberjanes novels even more than the comics just because it really gives time to delve into each story and examine how the camper are really thinking and feeling about everything. (Also I’m always weak for novelizations of anything.) The Moon Is Up is a book that focuses more on Jo, and takes place during the camp’s much anticipated Galaxy Wars, a competition between cabins that goes over several days. While the campers prepare for these challenges though, they also run into a strange little creature with a penchant for cheese and theft. Roanoke cabin needs to keep ahead in Galaxy Wars and somehow deal with the fearsome Moon Pirates that a closing in...
Lumberjanes v4 (Out Of Time)
One of the Lumberjanes comics, a cool, girl-focused, queer comic series. Honestly, this is just a fun series that I never got as into as I should have. My advice is honestly to skip book one because it gets better as it continues, and I’ve really been enjoying the later books now that I’ve given it another go. It follows five campers at Miss Qiunzella Thiskwin Penniquiqul Thistle Crumpet’s Camp for Hardcore Lady Types (Jo, April, Molly, Mal, and Ripley) as they handle all sorts of challenges, from friendship to crushes, camp activities to supernatural horrors, getting badges to not being brutally killed. Great if you liked the vibe of Gravity Falls but want it to be queer-er.
Mooncakes
Another queer graphic novel, but unfortunately not a very good one. It really looked appealing and I had high hopes, but the book itself really didn’t hold up… I actually couldn’t even finish it, the plot was just too… non-existent. The art is fairly mediocre once you actually look at it, especially backgrounds, and it feels very… placid. Not much conflict or excitement or even a very compelling reason to keep reading. If you just want a soft queer supernatural you may get more mileage out of it than me, but it didn’t really do it for me. There’s better queer graphic novels out there.
New Boy In Town
One of the worst books I have ever read. My girlfriend had ordered a very different book online but through a frankly stupendous error was sent this 1980s pulp romance instead. Absolutely nauseating on levels I couldn’t even begin to enumerate here. Naturally we read the whole thing out loud. Probably took us 10 times longer to finish than it warranted because I had to stop every two sentences to lose my mind. If you like bad decisions, baffling hetero courting rituals, built-in cultural Christianity without actually calling it that, and gold panning then boy howdy is this the book for you.
(seriously, you better have patience for gold-panning if you attempt this one, because I sure learn that I don’t)
Piggies
This was a picture book I enjoyed as a kid and had a reason to reread recently. Honestly it’s just very cute and simple, and the art is completely mesmerizing. Wonderful if you know a young child that would enjoy a simple goofy boardbook.
Shaun the Sheep: Tales From Mossy Bottom
Related to my Aardman fascination earlier this month. I tried reading a varieties of Shaun the Sheep books — most of which are mediocre at best — but the Tales From Mossy Bottom Farm series is genuinely good. Just chapter books, of course, but the illustrations match the series’ concept art and each story feels like it could have jumped directly out of an episode. They’re just cute and feel-good! Kinda like Footrot Flats but more for kids, and from the sheep’s perspective moreso than the dog’s.
#aardman animation#shaun the sheep#lumberjanes#kid paddle#asterix#the last firehawk#hunger pangs: true love bites#marian engel#bear#canadian literature#canlit#queer lit#book review#book reviews#chatter
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In these apparently trying times of "lack of content" I was wondering if we could get a glimpse behind the tablet and see how you write! Could you talk about your process and how you keep track of things and parse out your story? Do you storyboard or write rigorous notes? Is it all in your head? I am super curious about your system.
Oh yikes I’m about to disappoint a lot of people.
Okay, here’s the thing - I cannot physically keep notes because I get distracted and forget to write things down. I’ve tried keeping notebooks for WD!Steven stuff and I have come to accept that it’s only for show. I barely use it. I cannot use my memory on the effort of writing notes - I’d much rather use that energy to remember things in my head.
I brute-force everything through my mind palace. My mind... house... mindshack.
My process is simple:
Step 1) THINK
I constantly get asks that I feel might be good for the comics. I’ve made posts on this before but the main way I decide if I’ll use an ask is:
Is the ask addressed explicitly to Steven (or another character?)
Is the ask not giving away any fourth-wall-breaking information?
Is the ask actually ASKING Steven an open-ended question or TELLING Steven to do something?
If the ask is too vague (”so what do u like”) or gives away too much (“Steven don’t u think ur actually half-human? If Rose had a baby it would be half gem half human. Wouldn’t that be the same as u? You should ask Rose about a gem named Spinel I bet she would freak out!!!!!”) or if the ask is just pushing for Steven to do something instead of asking (”go to the moon base!”) then I almost always ignore it.
Step 2) Storyboard!
After choosing a question, I’ll sit and… stare at my desk/the wall/twitter without seeing it and instead storyboard the entire comic in my head. Sometimes this happens in a matter of minutes. Sometimes I’ll work it over in my mind’s eye for days before I like it. This includes the dialogue.
Yes, I do this while driving. I have an hour drive to work. No, I have never been in an accident. My autopilot works really well. I guess. Probably. I often have no memory of the actual drive itself but the comic gets written.
Step 3) Sketch!
Afterwards I go into my drawing program (MediBang Paint) and sketch out each individual panel on a layer. Sometimes the sketches are detailed. Sometimes they are just sloppy action lines to remind me what I’m going for.
I script in my head WHILE I’m drawing the sketches. I try out different lines as I go through each panel and see what fits the most. This sketching process takes about 3-5 minutes per panel.
Step 4) Lineart!
After I’ve sketched at least 50% of the comic, I go back in and start doing lineart. I will do this mindlessly - it is only at this point that I allow myself to listen to a podcast, or music, or have a YouTube video running while I draw. (I cannot sketch/storyboard/script with any sort of noise on. Has to be dead silent.)
The initial lineart process takes about 10 minutes per panel if the panel is simple like the one above. If I go through the process of adding necessary details, patterns, or have to create phone background detail, or draw a background in general, then it will obviously take longer.
If I do color comics, it takes 3 times as long which is why I hate coloring.
For the Lapis arc I also added tones. It was not as annoying as coloring, but it still took me twice as long as an average panel because there was so much layering to be done between the water/lapis’ wings/backgrounds. It was not fun.
Step 5) Dialogue
After I finish the lines for ALL the panels, or at least 50%, I start going back in and finally adding dialogue and details. I do the dialogue all at once because it allows me to view the flow more naturally. I end up reading and re-reading the panels several times to make sure there are no repeating words and that it flows more or less like a normal conversation would.
This takes about… eh… an hour or so for an average 20-panel comic?
The bulk of my editing is done at this stage. I will go back through and re-read the finished comic several times and try to weed out weird details or typos.
If I find none, I post it to Patreon, because it’s a guarantee that I will find 3 more immediately afterwards. That’s how posting art to social media works. Also, many of my Patreon patrons are usually kind enough to point out any typos I’ve missed. (MediBang doesn’t have a spellcheck so don’t judge me too harshly…)
And that’s….. it. I post to Patreon, make any last-minute fixes if I have to, and then queue everything to tapas and tumblr.
And then I immediately begin to worry about the next comic. Because… that’s how it works.
I understand it’s not exactly a professional process. That’s because I’m not a professional! I’m self-taught, and this comic is meant to be for fun, not for profit. If I make a Season-finale comic or a season-start comic, I typically go through the same steps, except I add thumbnailing to the mix (drawing tiny copies of the pages on post-it notes to see how many pages I can fix it to.)
Hope that was… educational? I don’t know. Either way…
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SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??
but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.
so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro.
oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry.
god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE
next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.
okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either.
so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.
#wonder egg priority#wonder egg spoilers#ai ohto#rika kawai#momoe sawaki#wonder egg priority neiru#i forgot neirus name#anime review#wonder egg ai#lgbtq anime
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Built This Way
It's no secret that my executive functions are terrible. At school, I would answer questions during class in vague, off-topic ways. Sometimes, what I said would creep everybody out. I also repeatedly got assignments mixed up. For example, I once handed in my English essay to my math teacher and my crappy Sonic The Hedgehog fan fiction to my English teacher. She was not amused. I remember her throwing it down on the desk and saying to me, “Not only is this not the assignment, but it’s also downright demented”.
It's gotten me into trouble. A few months ago, I had an assignment for science class. We had to apply what we learned about mirrors and lenses and “discover” total internal reflection. I really had to fight to get myself within the problem, as everything we learned had concerns curved mirrors and lenses. At no point in class did we talk about anything like the critical angle and the index of refraction. That forced me to do extra reading on my own so as to orient myself within the unfamiliar problem. After doing a bit of reading on my own, I could get started on my assignment and get it finished faster than had I not done the extra reading. I was the only one to hand in the assignment a few days early. Everyone else had theirs done a day or two after the deadline.
About a week or so after I handed it in, I got called to the principal’s office. My science teacher said I had cheated on the assignment. He explained to me that the way I had answered the questions made him think that I copied something off the Internet. I explained to them that I did some extra reading on the subject to orient myself within the problem. I did my best to put everything into my own words and really demonstrated that I understood the underlying concept.
Long story short, they didn’t buy it. The school threatened to suspend me unless I had a psychologist assess me and tell them that I did the work honestly and had explained it the way I did because I was less bound by social signaling than the rest of the class. Stuff like this makes me think that everyone else has the “communication issues", not me. I mean, why else would they play four-dimensional chess about asking you to do something simple, like wash the dishes. I don’t believe that reacting to “please use plain and simple language with me" by sputtering about their mind games and passive-aggressive social hoops that I’m expected to jump through is my problem.
I thought that unfortunate experience was in the past. However, one day when my mom and I were in the car, she asked me, "By the way, whatever became of that optics assignment?"
I froze in my tracks. I started blinking rapidly. “That...optics assignment?”
“Yes,” my mom replied, “Did the psychologist tell the school that you were in the clear, or did the school throw the book at you?”
I didn’t know what to tell her. All I managed to get out was, “That...that was too long ago, I don't remember it."
That was a lie. A very awkward lie, too. But no one would believe the truth.
I remember exactly what happened. The day after I got pulled aside for cheating, I actually did contact a psychologist: Rita Dunne.
Trying to get an appointment with Rita Dunne was a disaster. Rita kept changing or canceling the date of our first appointment without telling me ahead of time. If she didn’t cancel it, she postponed it. She postponed it three times in a row once. What she would do if she would postpone it to a later date, then a few days before the date, should postpone it again. After the third time, she outright canceled it and made me reschedule.
She never bothered to offer an excuse. Worse, she got evasive when I asked her why she kept postponing everything. I had to fight with her to plan our first meeting and stick with it. Even then, she provided me with no indication that the meeting date was firm.
The day came for my appointment. Rita's office was located and one of those large office parks with 20 other professionals. The building had a huge lobby with modern art and a front desk with two receptionists.
I found the office without any issues. Make three lefts after the painting that looks like a wonky crocus, and you're there.
I knocked on the door. Rita let me into the office. Before we could get started, her phone rang. The call took up the first 20 minutes of the appointment. Just after she hung up the phone, the fire bell went off and we had to leave the building.
When they let everybody back in, I went back to the office. But instead of her office, I found a janitor's closet.
I had my appointment card. The card had Rita's name and phone number on it, so I figured I could call her. I called the number on the card. "The number you have reached is no longer in service. Please hang up and try your call again". My first thought was that the number printed on the card was out of date. Maybe I could go to the receptionist and ask them where her office was.
That would have been a better idea, if the receptionist was actually helpful. They were was no help at all. First, they ignored me. When they finally acknowledged me, they said “Did your parents not tell you that interrupting other people is rude”.
I stood there, confused. “I wasn’t being rude,” I said.
“Yeah, sure you weren’t” they muttered.
“Anyway,” I asked, “I feel like an idiot, but would you happen to know where Rita Dunne’s office is?” I tried to speak as obsequiously as I could
The receptionist scoffed. “What are you talking about?”
“Rita Dunne. D-U-N-N-E, Dunne. She’s a psychologist.”
The receptionist typed something on their computer. “Look, I don’t know who that is, but they sure as shit don’t have an office here.”
I leaned in, furrowing my brow, and squinted. “So, Rita Dunne doesn’t have an office here, and you have no idea what I’m talking about?”
The receptionist walked away. They began talking to their coworker in Spanish. They didn't know this, but I also speak Spanish. I overheard every word. When they came back, I told them “I heard everything you said, and I don’t really care for the label puta.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way,” they replied.
After that, I just got frustrated and left. I never told anybody about what happened. Why should I, if nobody would believe me.
I never followed up with the psychologist. Thankfully, it didn't matter. The school lost interest in pushing the cheating thing any further. As far as the rest of the world was concerned, it's like it never even happened.
@dailytextprompt
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Of Blood and Bonds- Chapter 5
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Tag list for this is closed!
On that note, this book will contain swearing, mentions of rape and torture. I will try not be explicit but that's really relative. Read at your own risk. There will be warning before if I make a explicit scene so that you can skip it.
Anyways, I hope you enjoy and don't hunt me down for this.
Happy New Year
---------------------------------------------
Another day she had needed to spend with the idiots in her class. Once again, she felt like cursing her parents.
Marinette was by all means done with Lycée, she was following University courses but after Tom and Sabine had disowned her in all but name, it's not like they knew that. Most of her old relations had no idea what she was up to and it suited her not seeing them ever again.
But despite everything, the Dupain-Chengs she didn't consider herself one anymore did to her, they still didn't want her to dishonour their family even more so they made an arrangement with her and her Lycée.
She had to at least show up for the exams and any school functions and they would leave her alone to do as she pleased instead of sending her to a boarding school and well with all her responsibilities, she never really had a choice.
Which brought her here - on the Gotham Field Trip. She really didn't know why they had even sent her here, they were only wasting their money and Sabine must have known that the chances of her meeting Bruce were high, especially since their activities were centered around Wayne Enterprises.
Today they were going to be assigned to one person they had to shadow all day - it was supposed to help them get some actual job experience.
Marinette was chosen to shadow the CEO - how surprising - and it just so happened that today was one of the rare days Bruce Wayne was in the company so she would have the pleasure of helping both him and Tim depending on who needed her most - yay her.
She was willing bet her future fashion empire that Bruce had orchestrated this in an attempt to get a chance to talk to her.
However she had to admire that one good thing come out of this - Lila Rossi got served.
Like she had mentioned it before, she didn't have anything to do with her past classmates except the bare minimum but it seemed even now the liar still felt threatened by her every time they met. And honestly, she couldn't care less except that wench was the reason her parents had turned against her and of course how could we forget the worse thing of all? That Lila Rossi was willingly working with Hawkmoth - a known terrorist.
So the jobs had been announced and Lila has started her usual act and name dropping and oh there must have been a mistake, Timothy told me that I would be chosen to work with him since I'm already used to helping him. That had received a sharp look from the one delegating and a simple comment about Miss Rossi you are to report to our legal team, they have something prepared especially for you. Seeing Lie-La pale and shut up so yeah that had been the highlight of her day.
But now, now she was most certainly going to be forced to speak to her father and she kind of wished that Lila had succeeded for once.
Just as the lady she had grown to like was about to show her the way, her father magically appeared not really, she had seen him hiding in the shadows for the last five minutes and offered to guide her himself.
As she predicted, he said nothing else, until they were in his office but once the doors were closed…
"Mari-" He started to speak but then the doors banged open and a haggard looking Tim Drake stumbled in.
"Nette, I heard I got you today. Thank fuck I didn't get one of the brats." He stumbled in on the couch, paying Bruce no mind and grinned at her. "Plus, I get sister bonding time so win-win for me."
Marinette looked from him to Bruce. "You have impeccable timing." She informed him. "So I'm going to make you coffee."
"You are an angel." He declared. "An absolute angel. Now I understand why Damian likes you so much."
Marinette laughed it off. "Damian likes me because I don't call him Demon Spawn Timbers."
"In my defense." He groaned. "He was a brat back then and now, well it's basically a nickname. Call it brother's privilege if you want. And he knows it."
Marinette smiled gently at him as she placed a cup of coffee in front of him and Bruce, and sat down drinking her own cup. "Does he know that?"
Tim blinked at her, a thoughtful expression taking place on his face.
It lasted until he tasted the coffee, then it was replaced by awe.
"This is so good, how is this so good, it's literally the same thing I drink everyday? Can you work for me permanently?"
She was amused and this conversation seemed to shock her father so it was a plus. "But Timmy, if I change my career how are you going to get your special MDC suits?"
That strangely made him go serious.
"About that, I needed to talk to you."
Marinette raised an eyebrow, this should be good.
"What would you think if Wayne Enterprises becomes the main sponsor for MDC?"
She leant back in her seat crossing her feet and took a long sip of her drink.
"Now why would I agree to that?"
Tim looked surprised while she was careful to keep her own face carefully blank but he recovered quick enough and seemed to thrive on the challenge.
Marinette could pinpoint the exact moment when he changed to his game face. "Why wouldn't you? This in the long term will benefit you especially when you decide to release your line or officially start your company."
"Who said anything about releasing a line? Right now I'm on a clientele only basis and the greatest thing about MDC right now is my anonymity. My business is flourishing and I'm on high demand, especially among celebrities so you can imagine the price I get for each of my works. Why would I want to change that?"
"While that is true, the novelty will eventually wash off. Your designs may be good enough for you to get some loyal customers but you won't be as you put it in high demand anymore. And I may have known you for only a while, but I doubt you haven't planned for the future."
Marinette could admit, she was a little impressed. "Also true, but I'm currently a millionaire and have more than enough money to launch a line by myself."
Tim opened his mouth to interrupt but she continues before he could.
"And yes, I do understand how accepting your offer will benefit me more but signing with you also means that will represent my brand and how can I - bearing my own interests in mind - accept knowing is publicly involved with Wayne Enterprises?"
He looked completely lost and Marinette was probably having more fun that she should with this. "I'm not sure I follow?"
"I mean that even if people don't outright state it, everyone knows that the Wayne finances and outfits the Gotham vigilantes."
"And your point is?" The poor boy was going to make her say it.
"Your costumes are a fashion disaster Timmy, an eyesore if not a horror?"
"They're not that bad!"
"Do not get me started on the first Robin's costume. Were you not in your right mind when you allowed it?" For the first time in the day, she spoke to Bruce.
"Wait, you know?" She shot Tim a questioning look. Why hadn't told him, she figured it out? The boy just shrugged and she sighed.
"It's not that difficult to figure out Bats. You and Mom literally met while you training in extreme martial arts and the way she described you doesn't match up with the idea the media has of you so I was already suspicious and then I met them and I saw them in costume, they have the same build and everything and their alibi was frankly terrible. Also the rate at which you take in kids matches with the appearance of each new Robin."
"When was the last time you got your IQ tested?" He demanded.
Marinette elected to ignore that comment in favour of finishing her conversation with Tim. "So?"
"So if I get everyone to agree to a costume redesign by you, you'll sign?"
"I get to re-design and remake all of your costumes as well as become the go to for the family for all your events."
"That's a lot of conditions."
She shrugged, a smile playing on her lips. "Those are my terms but if you'd like, you can consider the part about your costumes a favor to you sister so that she doesn't get a heart attack everytime she sees you suited up."
"I'll agree as long as you admit you're exaggerating."
Marinette gave him a deadpan look. "Have you ever seen the Red Hood helmet. I have nightmares about it."
He considered it. "Yeah okay that's fair. So should I start working on the papers?"
Marinette shook her head. "I'm going to rebrand once and for all once I'm 18 along with my face reveal."
"Rebrand, why?"
"Like you rightly pointed out two nights ago MDC stands for Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Well I don't want to be a Dupain-Cheng for longer than I have to. I'll be changing my name hence the rebranding."
"Would you consider Wayne?" Bruce asked softly. Marinette paused. She had been considering taking Master Fu's name actually. "I don't know B."
"I'll leave you two to talk." Tim said slowly getting up and she would have protested but she could not run from this forever and the Kwami pressing against her leg seemed to agree.
"Yeah just…" She took out her phone and send him a contact. "That's my lawyer, you can send her the papers to review. I'll talk to her about it."
Tim checked his phone and went slack jawed. "Elle Woods. Elle Woods is your lawyer." He threw his hands up in defeat. "I don't know why I'm still surprised at this point but I'm gonna ask, how did you get her to work for you?"
"She's one of my regulars. "
"Of course she is." Tim muttered. Marinette watched silently as he went to refill his cup of coffee but ended up taking the whole coffee machine with him and walked out of the door.
Marinette turned to Bruce. She was not looking forward to this but she sighed and got up. "I'm supposed to be working so give me something to do."
"I thought you agreed we need to talk Marinette."
"I never agreed to anything." She reminded him. "But yes we'll talk." She pointed a finger at him. "While I work. So, give me something to do."
"You need this to be on your terms." He noted.
"I know you've researched what happened. After having been stripped from my senses and having my will taken away from me, yes I do enjoy being in control." She dared him to say something. "So. Give. Me. Something. To. Do."
"You can arrange the paper on the desk. According to the project names, put it in alphabetical order with A being on top."
Marinette set to work without another word. Bruce took that as his cue to start speaking.
"You know about Batman. The year I stopped talking to you was when when I was assumed dead-"
"Then why?" She cut in sharply. "Did Alfred not even deign inform me that my father was dead? Or what about after you came back?"
He stayed silent.
"The truth B is that even before that you were speaking to me less and less. Your phone calls, rare as they were, were always so short I was never able to tell you what i wanted." She gave out a humorless laugh. "You know I used to be scared that you didn't want me. I mean why else would you keep me a secret from your other children? So I didn't complain because I didn't want to stop having the little time you even gave to me. Guess, I was right in the end."
"No." He stood up and came to stand in front of her. "Marinette sweetie, please believe me. I fell in love with you from the moment I saw you. I've never not wanted you but my lifestyle was always very dangerous but I never realised how much it really was until Jason died and then shortly after I returned Damian died. Every child of mine has been traumatized in some way by my enemies. I didn't want the same to happen to you. There are villains out there who know who I am. I got scared Marinette, distancing myself from you was me trying to protect you. I know - I know it doesn't excuse me not being there for you but you need to know I am so so sorry. Please let me make it up to you. "
Marinette felt the kwamis on her person press against her, offering their silent support.
"I'm willing to try." She said at last, finishing arranging the last of the documents. She looked up at him and could basically read the hope in his expression. "But you need to give me space. I'm not coming to live in Gotham nor am I going to defer to you. I've built my own life, you're not going to interfere with in. You can be in it but you don't get to try and change things."
"Okay, okay I can work with that."
"Then you've got yourself a deal." Marinette offered him her hand to shake and he did shake it but right after, he pulled her in a hug.
Bruce realized his mistake when Marinette stiffened up but she relaxed in his arms and she slowly, almost hesitantly clutched his shirt, like a small child holding their dad's shirt, trying to hide in his arms.
And a father's heart broke all over again.
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Hello
For the ask game:
3. what do you think about Light? 10, 24 and 25, please.
Thank you for the asks and honestly great questions!! I have a feeling this most is going to be a bit long, so hopefully I can get my thoughts and everything out in a way that’s easy to keep up with!
Also spoiler warning for those who haven’t finished the series!
~~~
3. What do you think about Light?
I honestly have SO many mixed feelings about him, like it’s hard to just be like ‘oh i hate him’ or ‘oh I love him’ because it just isn’t that simple for me personally, which that itself is a great sign of a character since you have to think about that sort of thing with them. Right off the bat though, I’d like to say that I think Light as a character is phenomenal. He takes the character-type of what many would consider as the ‘perfect guy’ for the main character but twists it in a way that makes the reader/viewer question the protagonist their supposed to be rooting for.
I also think of Manga!Light and Anime!Light as different people to an extent, as in the manga you watch a seemingly ‘normal’ guy who has issues with the world deal with the sudden power that was thrown on him. I talked about it before in my last ask post, but the scene after Light killed his first person after testing out is a great way to express how he feels, and is one of the few times we really see Light show THAT much emotion. He shows regret and guilt, thinking himself as a murderer and you can tell how it affected him. Anime!Light you don’t get that, and instead he seemed to just take on the task of being Kira and god of the new world without much else thought. I definitely prefer M!Light in comparison to A!Light to say the least, so I’m going to focus a bit more on the M!Light side of things.
I personally found myself wanting to have hope for Light, even though I knew that he wasn’t going to get better but instead worse over time, and honestly it’s probably better story wise to keep him as the ‘bad guy’ who stays bad instead of trying to pull a redemption arc out of no where or something. I have a feeling I’m beginning to ramble, so I’m going to try to wrap this up.
I have a love-hate relationship with Light, because even though I don’t agree with his actions and the tactics he uses to get the ‘perfect world’ he wants, and I do find his thinking flawed and find him very arrogant the more power/ego Kira gains over the world as the story goes on. Yet I find him as a character in general just fascinating. I was definitely more on L’s side of things and found myself enjoying a majority of the scenes where people simple put Light in his place and treat him like a dude with a god complex rather than what he wants/expects. There’s just a lot of thoughts I have about him, but yeah it’s just a love-hate sort of thing for me when it comes to Light.
~~~
10. Do you ship any characters?
I usually find myself being a bit of a multishipper when it comes to most fandoms, it just depends on the source material and the characters obviously. I definitely can enjoy a lot of the ships when it comes to the fandom, but even if I don’t like a pairing I do my best to remain pretty respectful about it.
One thing to note is that I can’t really find myself shipping L with anyone in the series to be honest, like I can find myself enjoying his relationship dynamics of characters but with my own interpretations and DR stuff, It’s hard to view him with someone else romantically.
Some ships I like/don’t mind though (especially when it comes to au stuff as most of these in canon probably wouldn’t work out lol): Matt x Mello, Mikalight, Rem x Misa ig? (more like the concept is sweet i think even though in canon Misa treats her pretty badly and Rem said she doesn’t think of her that way), uhhh. My brain is pulling a blank right now but these are the main ones that come to mind.
Some platonic pairings I enjoy (as there are a lot more of these for me): Matt + Mello, Mello + Near, Matsuda + Misa, Honestly all the task force have really interesting dynamics with one another, L + Watari (obviously in a father/parent way, I just like seeing their interactions), Ryuk + Light, Ryuk + Misa, L + Matsuda’s relationship is honestly pretty funny to me and honestly L’s dynamics with the task force is also interesting as well.
I think that’s it when it comes to shipping stuff atm
~~~
24. Any headcanons you’d like to share?
Oh! I feel like I have a couple but at the moment my mind is pulling a blank for some reason. Some head canons that do come to mind though deal with my Death Note DRs in some way but they can also be interpreted with the actual series itself, so hopefully this is good enough! Usually I do better with a certain prompt of some sort though for future references though!
I’ve seen a post a bit ago about Matt and Mello being roommates of some sort at Wammy House and they find themselves in that roommate mentality still when they do room together, and honestly I agree so much with that.
When Mello leave the Wammy House I see him not contacting Matt or anyone from Wammy House as he turns his focus on his side of the Kira Case, even if apart of him misses them and what he grew up around. Yet he pushes through because he’s stubborn and wants to do whatever he can on his own with the Mafia without involving someone like Matt, probably for his safety. After the explosion though when he has no one on his side, I think that’s when he realizes there’s only one other person he can truly trust and rely on and that’s when he contacts Matt to help him on the case.
Not really a headcanon as the author himself mentioned that the rivalry between Mello and Near was one-sided and that Near actually liked Mello, I do see both boys sometimes wondering what it would have been like if they didn’t have that rivalry and became friends instead. I honestly see Mello thinking that more towards the end of the case and after the explosion, but at that point he’s probably thinking it’s too late to even pursue a friendship like that with him.
I like to think that at Wammy House, Matt didn’t really understand Mello’s rivalry with Near and at times questioned him about it at first but he was pretty supportive
He didn’t have anything against Near though and was pretty indifferent on the whole thing personally, but if it made Mello happy and helped him achieve a goal he had no reason to deny.
Matt in general in general is someone that gives the vibes of not caring about much, but if you’re close to him he is literally SO loyal?? Like if someone close to him has an issue, even if he might make a comment or remark, he is always there to back them up.
I like to think that over time Light actually enjoys Ryuk’s presence, kind of like a sense of some sort of comfort that he isn’t alone of some sort? Like at first he might have been annoyed and still gets annoyed whenever he acts annoying and distracts him from work, but also I think he doesn’t like hate his company. Probably would rather be around him than Misa unfortunately </3
I think that L and Chief Yagami had a pretty good friendship, or perhaps not friendship but i’m not sure what to call it atm. Like I think L respected him a lot and Soichiro was the same towards him, and I think at times if they decided not to talk about the Kira case it’s usually pretty good for the most part.
It’s not really a headcanon but Matsuda trying his best to get some positive attention for things he does in the case is funny and kinda sweet. Most of the time L probably ignores his antics and doesn’t really feed into it, but there’s like one or two times where he actually does
It’s probably very small, probably something along the lines of “Good job.” or something but Matsuda feels so happy that he even acknowledged him like that and didn’t call him stupid for once. Definitely was a good boost in his mood
I find the thought of Light and Ryuk playing video games early on when he first gets the notebook charming in an almost funny way. Like Light probably either was talked into it by the shinigami or was like ‘screw it, I have nothing else to do atm’ and Ryuk is just happy he can actually do something and not just watch him working
Light is definitely competitive in games though, like he’ll probably try to act like it wouldn’t matter but like most things with him, but it did lmao
I find the thought of the wammy kids doing things to mess with/annoy Roger so entertaining. Like I feel bad for him, but if I were asked to assist in the pranks or antics I probably would just for his reaction alone
Think that’s all for random misc head canons for now, if you want something more specific just send a request!
~~~
25. Ramble on about whatever you’d like
Thank you for this one! I usually feel a little guilty whenever I ramble on about things in general, but the fact that some people are interested in my thoughts on things is so sweet!
At the moment though I’m honestly not too sure what to ramble about as there’s a lot on my mind and it’s hard to pick one thing and honestly it can be a bit hard to go through all my thoughts at times.
But! One thing I will always stand behind that ya’ll have probably seen countless of times so far is that the Wammy Boys deserved better and I will always say it if necessary tbh. Speaking of wammy house though, that comes to mind is that I wish I could learn more about it at times, yet I also enjoy the mystery of it in a way. It’s something I’d be so down to learn more about, but if not I’d be pretty okay with that outcome. Plus just leaves things for fans to interpret in their own ways if they want, and that’s something I definitely enjoy when it comes to the fandom is how they take something vague and turn it into so much more.
Also speaking of the fandom I’m surprised yet so thankful/grateful for is that the death note fandom is still going on here. It was such a relief seeing that I wasn’t alone in my hyperfixions and thoughts, and seeing all the talent in the art, writing, etc, is just amazing and something I look forward to a lot in all honesty. I’m also just so thankful for the people that take time out of their day to look at my blog in general. You like, reblog, or follow me? I literally want to be your best friend and if I wasn’t so nervous about starting conversations with ya’ll I definitely would have messaged a couple of ya’ll a while ago. Until then I hope you just read this and see me on your blogs and hope my reactions and comments is enough until I get less nervous lmao.
One last thing before i close the blog off is that I love L with my full heart and I adore Matt and Mello so very much. My favorite lads <3
~~~
Alright that should be it for this post! If you stuck around, thank you!
Some future posts to expect: Matt, Mello, + a f!reader based on the dream I talked about before, some L angst, and possibly something with Light :)
Anyways have a great day/night and here’s a reminder to stay hydrated and eat something if you haven’t already <3
#death note#ali talks#asks#answered#anon#ask game#ask game answers#light yagami#l lawliet#dn#my ramblings#mello#near#matt dn#dn matt#miheal keehl#nate river#mail jeevas#misa amane#ryuk#desired reality#briefly mentioned tho#death note headcanons#death note hcs#touta matsuda#ali writing
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Some post-project ~thots~ re: my first big dive into horror movies in general, some favorites and reviews, and what I learned in boating school from finishing an inktober-type art challenge is
So the ~stats~ of this thing were, I did 29 drawings covering 31 pieces of halloween-related / horror-ish media, 28 movies, 2 series’ and 1 podcast episode. Of the 31, this was the first time I’d seen/heard 25 of them.
On the art:
1. The big lesson that I got from this is exactly what this podcast episode has to say about how executing an idea is its own skill that you have to practice. Like separate from the skills of actually drawing a thing, the mental skill of following an idea through from start to finished product (and being able to call it done and pull the trigger on sharing it) is also a thing you have to learn. And boy howdy does finishing one post-able drawing a day give you plenty of practice at that, and boy howdy did I get pretty good at it this month. I’m kind of floored by how this Just Get It Done Bootcamp of making a shit ton of art in very little time got rid of so many of my hang ups related to like, getting stuck partway through a piece because I'm scared to ruin it, or not being able to get past a thumbnail sketch because I can’t find the ~perfect idea~, etc. Especially this last week I barely even recognized this confident ass person who was planning and banging out these cool little paintings with almost no hesitation. That’s very unusual for me and I really hope it sticks
2. I’m glad I did this but the debate on whether or not I’d ever do it again is ongoing. Like, I’m insanely proud of myself, (whatever)tober challenges were something I always thought were super cool and wanted to do as a little baby artist but was I never in the right place to be able to stick to a project like that, so I’m very impressed with myself. I am, also, however, so fuckin tired oh my god. I spent most of weeks 2 and 3 swearing up and down that I’m never doing anything like this again. But I also spent the last week really loving it and I already have a list of movies I didn’t get to that I could use if I did this again next year... we’ll see I guess. (Also I never would have had time for this if I wasn’t in an awkward limbo of post-graduation-pre-real job right now where I have literally no responsibilities, so I have a feeling that if I do this again it’ll be like. a movie every 3 days for 10 total, something more sane like that.)
3. Deciding I was ok with it when my motivation fluctuated and planning the day’s drawing accordingly was super powerful. Low standards got the job done y’all
4. Sorta related, but I noticed especially for movies I really liked/ rewatches of things that I already knew I loved I would get this weird mental block about wanting to Do Them Justice, and have this struggle of wanting to do whole ass super complicated big awesome tribute pieces instead of something I could actually finish in a day. Was tough to reign that in sometimes and remember that this had to be a quantity > quality type game.
5. I’m glad I started with the markers because they did force me to keep things simple at first and avoid that ^ problem, and it was neat to actually get sorta good at them and test exactly what I can get done with them. Less neat that a few markers that I was really relying on started dying around day 17 or so. Overall my review would be that they’re great for sketchy stuff, darkest gray and lightest gray are the best ones, love that they don’t warp or soak through the paper, but there are a few of the more complicated marker pieces (Alien, The Ring) that would have been way easier and probably turned out better in ink.
On the movies:
Man I hate that it took me so long to realize that I really love horror movies. I remember not enjoying them at all as a kid/tween, I think I just had to grow into it? I have a whole separate essay on why I think that is but we’ll save that one for later. The point is this was my first time seeing most of these and it was really awesome to dig into the, like, ~popular classic horror canon~ like this, 12/10 very fun. (Not that I covered all of it by any means, there’s already a big list of ones I didn’t get to that just keeps growing, and now that I have a better idea of what I like I can be smarter about picking them next time, and I didn’t even scratch the surface of some subcategories of horror that I’d be really interested to check out, especially international stuff/ not just american big screen stuff, and, and, )
I can’t just pick favorites like a normal person so here’s way too many words about some that stood out for me, I have many opinions and no one can stop me so buckle up
I’m having a really hard time picking a scariest movie, but I the things that I ended up finding scary sort of surprised me. Like the super heavy gore/violence stuff wasn’t so much scary as just gross. A few that did stand out as scary for me were Us (jesus christ Lupita please have mercy you’re too good at this) and It Follows (I was so on edge just Watching the background extras trying to guess where the monster was, I thought the amount of tension in that was really impressive). Actually, anything that leaned on crafting tension in a skillful way and letting the horror come from Wrongness and Anticipation instead of just straight violence was chefs kiss, lovely, totally my jam. If I could build a house and live in the 3 seconds between the moment you know a jumpscare is coming and the moment when it actually hits, I would.
Prettiest movie award goes to Suspiria (1977). I would print out almost any frame of this thing and hang it on my wall, I’m just head over heels for the whole ~look~ and the architecture and the sets and the cOLORS oh the colors I’m in love. I actually watched it really early in the month, it might have even been September? but I didn’t want to draw it yet because it would have been a crime to do anything related to that movie in black and white and I was kinda intimidated by including full color paintings for this project at the time. Runner ups for prettiest go to Caligari (which was like finding an old picture of a great-great-grant-relative and being like holy shit that looks exactly like my uncle I see where the rest of the family gets those looks, but in this case your uncle is like. Every Tim Burton/ Henry Sellick / whimsical-gothic aesthetic thing ever) and Coraline (Laika Studios owns my entire heart).
Best special effects is probably The Thing. GOD why did we as a society ever move away from super detailed hand crafted practical effects gore. You just know some assistant's whole job was to lovingly mist all the gooey bits down with a spray bottle to get it absolutely perfect. That shit is a work of art, I would want the two melted together faces as a sculpture to have in my house if the effects weren’t so good that I genuinely felt a little sick a few times watching this. Honorable mention to Alien for the same reasons.
Award for “didn’t scare me much but did make me deeply sad” goes to Carrie, with The Witch (VVitch?) as a runner up. Making me sad is also like, a valuable emotional response for a piece of art to cause and these were cathartic in their own way, but fuck man. A story that goes “young girl did not sign up for nor deserve any of this and does not catch a single break” are such downers for me. Something something I too was (am?) a weird little girl (tm) and these are My People, so I’m adopting them all as my baby sisters now and taking them out for ice cream and driving them to therapy
Best theme song/ soundtrack goes to Reanimator. This is a controversial choice by the judge (me) when the other nominees include Us, The Shining, and two entire John Carpenters, but I have not been able to get Reanimator’s funky little woodwind bop out of my head for days now. It has absolutely no right to fuck so hard. I rewatched the opening credits like 3 times just so I could hear it again, it ended up on my On Repeat playlist on spotify this week, girl help it’s literally still stuck in my head as we speak
Anyway the more I talk about this the more confident I feel in saying, see you next year for this again. But almost definitely on a smaller scale because jesus I am so tired
#I WILL write whole ass novels overanalyzing my thought processes regarding a casual hobby I have (art) and no one can stop me#also click for a novice to the genre holding a one-person oscar awards that no one asked for#because I can't pick favorites in a straightforward way and also just have a lot to say in general as a person#tober 21
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hi! i'm not sure if you've answered this already but i saw on instagram that you are majoring in mechanical engineering at cornell. i'm going to be in an accelerated medical program in uni, and i'm worried that i won't be have time to draw, study art, practice, etcetera. seeing you consistently producing art amazes and inspires me. how do you balance art and all its things with such an intense major?
Hey! I get this question often, so I figured it’d be a good idea to assemble a decent response to it. Long post incoming. TL;DR: I gotta force myself to draw sometimes, because my mental health probably depends on it.
The honest answer is that I’m actually not that great at uploading art while I’m at school. During freshman year especially I’d just shut off the art side of my brain during exam season—a period which could last anywhere between two to five weeks and began again within a week or two due to Cornell’s batty exam schedule—in an attempt to study more effectively. I figured that less time on art equated linearly to more time on academics, which directly led to more academic success.
Turns out, uh, it’s not that simple. I finished up my sophomore year this spring and I realized that I do way better academically and mentally when I spend some time drawing throughout the day. I don’t know what it’s like for others, but I guess that my brain is just wired such that after a lifetime of drawing, quitting cold turkey for an extended period of time is really not ok for me.
Drawing in class (see the pics in this post), doodling stuff for friends, taking commissions, or studying a figure even just for twenty minutes a day is enough to work. Pushing myself to draw is often quite difficult, especially when I’ve got an exam/problem set/project looming over my head. To anyone in this position—in school or otherwise under enough stress that the thing you love causes you anxiety, fear, or boredom—I’ve got two tips.
The first is that drawing for ten minutes or less a day will make you feel orders of magnitude better than not drawing at all for another day in a row. Even thirty seconds will likely get the job done for you, mentally. I’m not going to BS you and say that you’ll improve much if you draw for ten minutes a day, every day, and no more, but it will give you peace of mind. Even as someone who’s trying to improve their art I find this fact really valuable, simply because I know from experience that getting yourself comfortable with drawing a little bit every day is a really reliable method of getting yourself to draw a lot every day. When you finally have the free time to draw (weekends, breaks, etc.), you’ll thank yourself for setting up that stepping stone.
The second is particularly meant for students with a very specific problem: avoiding making art because you should be studying instead. My roundabout solution works well for me, but may not work for a student who genuinely does not have any free time in their day, so keep that in mind. For me, it works to remind myself that I can easily spend one to three hours a day mindlessly browsing the internet or watching videos, but for some reason my mind takes no issue with this even during exam season. When I’m hesitant about picking up the tablet pen because I’m thinking about the exam in four days, I just tell myself that I’m replacing the time I’d be wasting anyways with something that I consider fulfilling.
I wish you the best of luck with everything (’you’ referring generally to anyone balancing art and school/work; this ask is old enough that the original asker may well be a doctor by now, who knows), and I hope you and art have a good relationship in the years to come. Cue random sketch.
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(via cat lovers Pet Bandana by mohammed elhachimi)
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Anon said: Um so hello, I’m just here to say keep up the awesome work, I love your kiribaku art and it’s adorable and I go on binges through your blog (omg I sound so creepy I’m sorry I just love ur art so much) and it makes my day so yeah please keep drawing!
Ahhhhh you don’t sound creepy at all, don’t worry!!!!! Thank you so much for liking my stuff that much!!!!!!! <3<3
Anon said: May ask what kiri///mina would look like in your style? You don't have to draw it if you don't like the ship.
Gosh sorry but I really really don’t ship it!
Anon said: you know how I miss?? your OCs!!! they're the cutest!!
AWE thank you so much!!!!!!! I have a few comics planned for them, hope I’ll manage getting to them soon enough!!! (oT^T)9<3
Anon said: This is so sappy but some of your kiribaku posts really make me really appreciate long relationships! I’ve always found pining and crushes the cutest bc it’s full of intense feelings, but you portray being in love and accepting each other so well!! it’s amazing how you show characters interacting with each other and being so comfortable instead of worrying about hiding part of themselves and long story short I love your art and ideas so much
This ask!!!!!!!!! means the universe!!!!!!!!!! to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so glad I can manage portraying love in such a way, I’m so in love with the idea of open, accepting love, andI try seriously hard to make it look healthy in my comics so!!!!!!! thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have no clue how many times I’ve reread this ask I’m not even exaggerating TT^TT <3
Anon said: I just want to start off by saying you’re my favourite blog on tumblr, your art is incredibly adorable and always makes my day!! I was just wondering how you were able to create your own unique art style? It’s something I’ve been struggling with a lot lately with my own art. Any advice is appreciated, thanks for everything you do!!
I think it’s about finding the right spot between what feels comfortable for you and the end you’re using your art for? In my case what’s comfortable is something fun and smooth, and the main end has always been to be able to draw comics - I’ve always liked comics because I like writing and I like drawing, but my attention span was too short to manage finishing them, and the way I had of drawing was too stiff to properly convey emotions the way I wanted to, which made drawing comics sound like an impossible dream haha I fixed it by simplifying my style, by taking away or reducing to the bare minimum everything that took me ages to work out/draw and pushing my expressions and body language to extremes to make up for the lack of details.
That’s just my experience with it, though! The best advice I can give you is to sit back and look at your current way of drawing from an objective perspective - do you enjoy it? Is the process of drawing something you’re comfortable with? What’s uncomfortable in it for you, and in which ways could you change it to make it comfortable and fun? Does your current art style allow you to do what you want to do with your art? If you want to paint, does it allow you to paint in an easy and fun way? If you want to make comics, does it allow you the range to properly portray a character moving and living without making you wish you’d never started drawing halfway through it?
Imho the first step to find a style that’s your own and feels right is to find a style that’s fun to use and doesn’t stress you to hell and back every time you pick up your pencil. This is easier to do the more things you attempt, so for a bit being inconsistent in style is a good and normal thing - try things out! The best one for you will definitely stick in the end. And if you already feel comfortable with the way you have of drawing, then hell! You already have a style that works for you! Just because to you it doesn’t look unique and special it doesn’t mean that it isn’t - if you asked me to point out what makes my style unique I wouldn’t be able to tell you either, the way I see it my style is the most uninteresting and common-looking style out there. To be honest with you that’s probably just how it is for every artist out there hahaha
Anon said: Hi!! I love your art and just want you to know I always get a big, stupid smile on my face whenever I see you cross my feed, whether it’s something new or a reblog of an old post. Everything you do is just amazing and I love it
AHHHHHHH Thank you so so much!!!!!!!!! (TT^TT)<3<3<3
Anon said: Hey Fran! First off, thank you for the Fire Force art. I remembered to actually check it out, after seeing it lol. Second, I still can't find your Fatgum 😭😭 the link didn't give any, and searching on your page didn't help either. I WILL FIND IT ONE DAY
I think it’s a problem of the app orz I can see him just find from desktop but the app can’t find him either T-T stupid app!
Anon said: Do you have a mini Bakugou and Kirishima living in your head? Are they just living their lives up in your brain and that causes your hand to to write and draw the most perfect and accurate things? Of course mini Kaminari, Sero, Mina, Jirou, etc. also come to visit your head hole from time to time and just chill with mini Baku and Kiri. That’s the only logical explanation on how all your Bakushima content is so inconceivably spot on
That’s such a kind thing of you to say, anon!!!!!! I’m glad you find them that IC!!!!!! I try my best, but sometimes I admit I just have them do and say stuff I’ve done and said myself, the only difference is that I word things in a way that feels right for their usual way of talking hahaha
Anon said: I personally would love to read your essay on why bakugo is the best character ever because I really really really want to love him that much but i feel like there's something that I'm just not getting about him- there's something I'm missing about his personality (keeping in mind that i kinda left the manga after the whole mirio/8 precepts arc). I've always found bakugo compelling and would love love love to read your take on him! Hope you have a great day!
Bakugou has had some amazing character development scenes after the overhaul arc!!!!! He’s outright shown he understands where he was lacking and where he was wrong, that he’s perfectly capable of working in a team and letting people help him and helping them in return, that he cares about his class and how the rest of the world sees them! (and that he worries/cares about how the world sees him too, actually, that broke my heart a bit ;; ) We haven’t seen him in a hot minute by now, but most of anything before the current arc has had him improve and develop and become even better than he already was - I’ve always thought him a good guy with just a lot of troubles relating to the world around him due the way he has been brought up as special and different (it creates a drift between yourself and the rest of the world when everyone around you keeps treating you as if you were other - when you tell a kid he’s different and better for his whole life he’s bound to grow up believing it, after all), but if the problem you have with him is that he isn’t showing the good in himself plainly and obviously enough, then the arcs after the overhaul one are gonna help you like him better, definitely
Well, the thing about Bakugou is that he’s not a plain/obvious character, so you need to think about his actions and his words a bit more, and can’t just take him at face value - it’s what I like about him, actually! How much you need to think about him to figure him out on a deeper level than just the surface one. Since I dunno why you like him and why you feel something’s missing, I can’t tell you specifically what it is in the way I see him that completes him for me, but as I said I try to keep him as IC as I can so probably reading my comics about him might help you understand the way I see him. To me Bakugou’s honest, and kind, and loving, but he’s also arrogant, and angry, and used to taking some things for granted, and I like how all those things work with and against each other in his character. He’s at the same time incredibly proud and absurdly insecure, and I like that about him too - where each comes from and where and how they clash, I like the complexity it gives him. I like that he’s a people person in the sense that he likes having people around himself, and I like that at the same time UA is the first time he’s had actual, honest to god best friends, and how that means that he’s gonna be awkward when usually he’s so sure and proud simply because he isn’t used to having people he actually specifically cares for, I very much like that about him. I like that he overthinks everything he doesn’t immediately gets, I like that he still acts on instincts more often than not, I like that somehow with him those two aren’t mutually exclusive. I like that he’s smart and still so damn dumb, I like that he’s just as simple-minded as he is an actually labyrinth in thought process, I like how one-track minded he is even on the most silly things - how once he sets his eyes on a goal he goes for it like his life depends on it. I like that he’s barsh and rude and impulsive in what he says and does, but when he fucks up he knows he fucked up, and he backstracks, and he does his best to make amends. I like that he sits in stupid ways and has the worst posture in the class and then he wears his hero costume and suddenly he’s a model on the catwalk, that’s so damn endearing to me. I like how ridiculously hyperbolic he is and how he just assumes people will get it, get what he actually means, like there’s a point between his brain and his mouth were things get blown out of proportion and he doesn’t even realize it. There’s just so many things to love about him, for me!!
But most importantly I like that he started as low as he could get and that because of it his plot is a one way towards the summit. I like it. I like watching a character grow and every new chapter become a better version of themselves, I love it. Ultimately that’s probably why he’s my favorite, after all haha
Anon said: Hi, this isn’t a question but I just wanted to say how much I love your art and the way you clearly appreciate Bakugou as a character. So many of my friends hate him, but I think he has a lot of depth and so much potential. Your art always makes me smile! Thanks for doing what you do. :)
THANK YOU and thank you for liking the boy too!!!!!!! He deserves it, he absolutely does deserve it!!!!!!! <3<3<3
Anon said: I just went digging in the archives of my blog (which is.. a mess) and found some old art of yours (like... I'm talking bokuto and kuroo level old) and g o s h. I already loved your art so much then and I still do n hhhhhhhh u go. U great.
Gosh you’ve been around a long time then!!!!! Thank you so much for sticking with me all this time!!!! ✨o(TT0TT)o✨
#fran answers#long post#sorry for disappearing on all of you btw!!#some of you might know already but i've spent most of the last week consuming stuff more than producing it haha#sometimes i need that too
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I can’t really believe I’m doing this. But here we are.
I’m not going to continue my challenge for this month. I can’t keep going with it.
Yes, I could just skip today and jump back tomorrow, but that’s not going to work. I’ve been feeling off about my stuff this month, and a lot more days I push myself to make something I don’t care for. In the past, I would have some low days, but have more high days. I would usually have more days where, whether detailed or simple, I would be happy about the drawings I did. This month, all I feel is drained.
The worst feeling I’ve been having doing this challenge: dread. Dread to draw something. Dread to have to make and post. A feeling I have never had in my years of doing month long challenges.
Another reason I can’t just skip a day and jump back later: I have never missed a day. I never look down on those who do that, or who start and don’t finish. That is never wrong. But for me, because I have never missed a day, I can’t let my brain process to just let it go and move on. It’s all or nothing for me right now.
I contemplated a while on this decision. While it is for the best to stop due to it actually affecting my mental health badly, it is not a feeling I like. I am going to feel down. I know I’m going to kick myself for stopping. But I think about what will happen if I force myself to do this thing that’s causing dread. I could waste hours trying to figure out what to draw, instead of using those hours for videogames, homework, or even rest.
So while I know I will be dealing with the rollercoaster of feelings, even things I know aren’t true about myself, I will feel better in the long run. So much better. I’ve decided to go back to sketching when I feel like it, and take time to work on bigger projects when I feel like it. Remind myself the joy in art. Cause it’s still there. But it’s buried until this pressure I put on myself and the dread that comes with it.
I know I don’t owe anyone an explanation. But I felt the need to throw this out there. Doing the month long challenge in October has been a tradition for me. A lot of people had grown to know me as something who does and succeeds on the challenge. So much that the last couple years I got asked “Are you doing the challenge again?” Which of course makes me feel even worse about stopping, but again, I know it’s for the best.
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Me? Interested in Persona 5? No wayyy...
Warning for long post!
I had this written differently before I accidentally closed this tab, but I recovered the infodump well!
So... Yeah, Ribbon! My Persona 5 SI, my Phantom Thief SI. Still want to work on a possible real name- I wanted to go with a continuation of the plot threads I thought of with my P4 si, but... nah. Two separate SIs. Even if P5 si was also from the real world, I want them to be different for. Reasons.
She would awaken in the same place as Makoto- Kaneshiro's palace. I want to slip her in somewhere, and I feel like that case would feel the most... Natural? After futaba, a lot of shit picks up, and, as seen with Haru, can be a bit awkward. (And... Yes. I'm going to try to make that arc...... Not Suck? Maybe keep Morgana self loathing but...)
As for her awakening itself... She and Makoto have similar reasons! Both of them were previously known as prim and proper students, but then awaken to a sense of Justice, and are able to go all out. After looking a bit into myself, I was like "wow Makoto really is sorta like how I would awaken maybe" because like... I want to fight against injustice and hatred in society, but I'm scared because of the law- and, like Makoto, in p5, I could snap past that. Fuck the law, I want to stop people from being HURT by society's ineptitude. Haha...
Also, a reason for the involvement in the first place- Kaneshiro's reach is... far. Its very possible that people in Kosei were affected- and, in fact, judging by Yusuke being able to gather information, they were. So... Say that one of Ribbon's friends were being used... selling her body, perhaps... Hmmm...
Yes, both Makoto and my p5 SI- can I call her just Ribbon for now?- are third year students at their school. Yes, for Ribbon's backstory, I think I want her to be a Kosei student! Maybe there because of an art scholarship- writing??- or maybe a financial education scholarship, or maybe just that whoever her guardians are, biological or not, they sent her to that school with the money they had. But... Third year. I am 19 irl- and she would be 18 during the majority of the story, turning 19 in that february because surprise I'm a February baby.
Oh, yes, and her costume! She's a magical girl. Supposed to be based off of one- I gave her ribbons and feathers and a poofy dress and high boots with thick soles and gloves... Also, her mask is simple, but... I had the base form of a butterfly, and added on some mask details and also feathers. The ribbons on the lower part of her dress are more noticeable, though. Hence, her name of Ribbon. Unless y'all can think of any better...
As for WHY magical girls? Well, she thought magical girls were cool! Yes, this reflects on me! Ribbon watched magical girl shows ever since she was a young child, and always got this idea of fighting off evil by using bright magic! And punches. And kicks. When Ribbon grew older, while she never grew out of it, she tried to keep it to the back of her mind. She always still kept an eye on one of the magical girl shows- hmm... Beauty Cure? Beaucure? (Yes. Based on Precure.) And it was pulled back to the front with her awakening, because that's always the type of stuff she liked believing in- a magical force of good fighting against forces of evil... OUTSIDE OF THE NORMAL FIGHT AGAINST EVIL SOCIETY TRIES TO DO... Yeah. Mhm. Doesn't that seem familiar.
Oh, yes, I'm going to call the SI by the name of Ribbon- still unsure of if I should use Pix or if I should make up a japanese name that fits a bit closer to my real one, haha.
Her role of the team is... Well, sorta like a magical girl? She has light attacks, which does include the instant kill ones later (points @ magical girls and the series having magical attacks be the magical girl's finishing move), but she also can serve another role... Providing Buffs and giving Debuffs. I mean, magical girl power ups over the season is like a buff... And their attacks debuff the enemy... I would be tempted to also give her some healing things... Maybe later. After all, there are buff moves that are like "gain all three buffs at once!" And she'll get those! So maybe she can also be the status healer...? Dunno. Haven't really watched battle gameplay of p5- even if it's fancy, its... Boring to watch. Oops. Battle dynamics...
As for who her Persona is... I haven't thought of it. I haven't even looked into it either. I was thinking... Her first Persona would be probably an ancient magical girl? Pfft. Funny to say it like that. Maybe a fictional magical girl who was definitely outside the bounds of rules. Maybe villain, maybe hero. Her second persona would... be a goddess. Not the goddess of Magic, since. (stares at Ann.) But. A goddess of something important. Light? Hmm.
Her weapon is... A staff. Kinda a stick, but also it IS something to hurt with. Swing it around, smack someone in the side or head... Use it to adjust your position... Twirling it around... A magical girl doesn't use conventional weapons.
Oh, yeah! Here's where I closed out of the tab by accident. I went to go look at something and my phone pulled a trick on me... Anyway, moving on...
Futaba Sakura is 4'11. Ribbon is 5'. Short squad! Ribbon is irritated about getting teased for it, but is indeed 18- during the story, anyway- and just... Hasn't. Grown. Makoto is 5 inches taller. Interesting.
Ribbon's (outside of battle) role is... well, data gathering, and plan pulling. Makoto thinks of the plans, and can, indeed, push them out to the team... But for group planning sessions, Ribbon is the one listening to everyone's suggestions, and then addressing them... and giving them to the leader to mull over, as well. Make sure everyone is heard.
Oh, idea there... Ribbon also, like me, used to be a theater kid! It helped her grow more used to people around her, more used to speaking, and also technical details on things. Even if she isn't all outgoing, she still shows influences of it with analogies she makes sometimes.
(Spoilers for P5... Brief Warning. Skip to next parantheses for past that spoiler gone.)
During the Phantom Thieves' plans to decieve Akechi into believing he is totally fooling them, Ribbon could easily be very important with that acting experience. While coming up with the plan, Ribbon will definitely state theater terms, backstage, actors, scene changes... And she will definitely help the others get more into character. Staring at you, Ann... For a more believable lie... pull forth a truth similar to this situation and keep that tucked next to your heart... say your lines... and then, when that's over, let it go.
(Spoilers over! Yayyy)
So. Have you guessed who i want to f/o yet? If the answer is yes, congrats, you ain't blind to subtext!
Ribbon's costume is definitely on the lighter side! And... Yes, its definitely pink based. Solid pink ribbons... Light, soft pink dress... A mainly pink mask... I do think the feathers are another color, with those little x marker things that most of the feathers belonging to sharing a similar color, though maybe a different shade. I am... Not good with costume design, though. The accents on her mask would be similar colors to it...
Her hair is black. Darker than Makoto's, yes. She is light skinned, with barely a tan forming on her. Her mask actually covers up her obvious freckles on her face! Her arms, however, still have their freckles showing. (Not in the picture, because i forget about my arm freckles a lot...) (Also not in the picture is the frills on her dress but shhhh)
As for her Confidant? Uh... Hmm... To get to know her... Oh! She can show you her art and writing, sort of brush off her achievements with it because haha not as good as Yusuke Kitagawa's more official art... And her confidant would be helping her tap more into her confident side, whether it be for her own personal projects, or even for her just in society in general! While not as bad as Futaba, she still doesn't like approaching other people... And when that happens, and maybe culminates in her verbally cussing at someone who's been pressing her down for a while now and getting them to lay off her thanks to that newfound confidence. Not a Mementos Target, though she does bring that up but brushes it off as 'just a petty bully thing', but something she deals with herself!
.... Oh, Arcana... Uh. I think... you know how the Jester arcana was like... Another version of the Fool? Wait, the Thoth deck doesn't have an alt Priestess...? Fuck. Uh. Congrats, Akira! You get SUPER DUPER PRIESTESS BONUS. ... Please help
For her Confidant Ability.... Probably something to do with her Magical Girl influnces? The first idea I thought of was like... being able to be a temporary "safe" zone- while in the palace, she could... extend her magical girl light out and create a Barrier that prevents the shadows from noticing her. It will always stay a temporary ability, of course, since otherwise would pribably negate difficulty? But the period would become longer as her confidant goes up. The period of time would be extremly cut down during the times of actually stealing a treasure- after all, the palace ruler is EXPECTING the phantom thieves. No amount of magical girl protecting light would hide that expectation... Or. Something like that.
Also, her last skill. Instead of being like... Making the ability of protecting/anti detecting light last practically forever, its a SUPER STRONG BATTLE ABILITY. What is it? Well... uh... Still have to decide. My current idea has to do with a magical girl blast. Like, activate her light ability right as you get into a battle, and that actually does something- fires a big blast as the battle starts and inflicts damage on the enemy... Hmm. That, or she gets a special version of the all out attack that always kills? Has to be her leading the all out attack, though. What do y'all think...?
Oh, speaking of all out attacks! Hers (or her normal one if I go with the second idea in the above paragraph) would have her landing, spinning around, and doing a sharp "v" pose with her fingers, standing tall and with a grin. Think... Uh... Sailor Moon? I looked up some images and a few I found, with the peace sign arm outstretched, fit that mental image. The other hand would be on her hip, and, of course, she would be winking. Ah, girl vibes.
Yes. I am aware that could be similar to Ann. When i thought of it, i was like "hmmm" but then was like "I do that! and also there's a different between a lean and a wink with the peace sign to your chin rather than a stand/slight slouch and a wink and a peace sign held upward rather than close to the body"
Also, her little line in the background would be "light has prevailed!" In like... Bubbly letters? And it looks like light is shining from behind the letters.
Sure, Ribbon would have a romance route with Akira... but I don't consider that canon. It would make sense that he could POSSIBLY fit my type? But. Nah. Not SUPER attached. Pal at most. Speaking from outside here... In game, with the friendship forming? Maybe so. Anyway, not canon.
Oh my god i just realized Queen and Ribbon have like... Opposite sorta aesthetics. Dark Biker to Light Mage.
Anything else I can think of... Oh, a spoilerly thing.
(I don't believe I can think of anything else to say, so for those who want to be unspoiled on certain things in p5, end of post is the next paranthesis. For others...)
For her reaction to the announcement of Akira's "suicide", it would be something like... Well... A hand to her mouth, and a furrow to her brow... but she doesn't sound like she is going to cry. Instead, she goes, "Ah...", like... Realizing. Like a "hmmm" tone instead of one trying to hold back tears. And then like... Ryuji's scene is after that. And those of you who have seen the scene know what the scene is. So like, if the player was confused by Ribbon, Ryuji smacks them with a direct confirmation.
(And... That's it! Sorry for the long post, I am both unsure of if the read more code trick works on mobile anymore and also am unsure of, if it does work, which version of the trick is the correct one. Because i remember two different versions. Fuck.)
#long post#ribbon the phantom magical thief girl#hahahahaha#self insert#whoops.#also the more i think about it the more i think it may not be obvious. so... guess!
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Save Me (Part 2)
Summary: Bucky comes to your rescue during a fight with your boyfriend.
Characters: Bucky, Steve, Sam (eventually), minor characters
word count: 2734
Warnings: a touch of angst, fluff
I don’t know how much time has passed when I wake up in a bed covered by a thin blanket, but judging by the orange light streaming through the window I'm assuming at least a few hours. I slowly move my legs and try to sit up flinching at the dull throb in my abdomen. “Ow.” I bring my hand to my stomach and squeeze my eyes shut against the pain.
“Hey, take it easy sweetheart,” a voice sounds at my side and I jump flinching again. “The nurse said you might feel some pain for the next couple hours.”
I look over to see Bucky sitting in a chair beside me. “You stayed,” I look around and note that none of the other beds in the room have chairs which leads me to assume he brought his own chair, from the waiting room most likely, to sit by my side. I wonder what he told them to allow him in here.
A kind smile spreads across his face. “Of course. I told you, I'm not going anywhere.”
My eyes start to water for probably the fourth time today, probably from the hormones. Before I can say anything else the doctor comes around and checks my chart.
"Alright Y/N, everything went well. You will feel cramping for the next couple of hours and possibly a few days after. That's all normal. Here is a prescription for antibiotics, I want you to take these twice a day with food to avoid infection." He hands me a slip of paper.
I nod along as he talks about other possible side effects and tells me I can go. I heave a deep sigh of relief when the doctor leaves and I slowly sit up in the bed.
Bucky watches me as I move leaning forward ready to jump in to help if I need it but giving me the space to do things on my own first. "How are you feeling?" He holds his hand out to me to help me to my feet.
I bring my hand to my abdomen again and frown. "Empty," I look up at him. "Is that weird? Like, I don't physically feel any different but I'm very aware that I’m not pregnant anymore." I feel a pang of sadness when I think of that fact and for a second I start to worry if I made a mistake getting the abortion, but then the bruise left by Alex catches my eye and I'm reminded of I would have to deal with if I hadn't done this. I let my hand drop and move to pick up my clothes that are sitting at the end of the bed and pull the curtain closed to change. "I'm hungry too," I say when I open the curtain and with the thought that I haven't eaten anything today.
"Wanna get a slice of pizza?" He looks at me with such genuine hopefulness that I can only stare at him in shock for a second.
"Uh, y-yeah. Sure." My brain stutters back to life again and I barely catch the smile that spreads across his face before he hides it behind his hand.
"Great. I know a really good place close by," he smiles again, not bothering to hide it this time and picks up the chair. "I should bring this back."
I'm reminded of the fact that he probably wasn't allowed in here. He follows behind me as I slowly make my way back towards the waiting room. When we get back outside I'm relieved to see that the crowd from before has dissipated a little, but Bucky still angles himself between me and the crowd and rests a protective arm around my shoulders.
I lean into his side as we walk until we're around the corner and I can't help but feel a little disappointed when he lets his arm drop and takes a step away to give me some space. "It's this way," he beckons me forward leading us down the street towards a small pizza shop that looks warm and full of love.
The shop is bright when we step inside and we're greeted with wide smiles and a hug for Bucky from an older man. "This little shop was mine and Steve's favourite place back in the 40's," he explains. "I knew Richard when he was just a kid playing with toys in the corner over there."
The older man grins, "and now I run the place. It's good to see you James, what can I get for you two?"
"We'll share a large pepperoni...if that's ok with you." He adds quickly looking at me and I nod.
"Coming right up!" Richard thumps Bucky once on the back before disappearing behind the counter. We sit at a nearby table and the waitress brings out two glasses of water for us.
“This was the first place I came when I was well enough to come back,” he reminisces with a far away look on his face. “It was nice to see it still standing and it’s hardly changed.”
I take the time to look at the decor around me. The tables are covered with red and white checkered tablecloths and the walls are covered with pieces of art and photos of Italy, and soft music filters around us from the speakers spread out over the room. Out of the corner of my eye I can see that Bucky is now watching me with an amused smile on his face. I pretend not to notice...until I can’t anymore. "What?" I finally ask, as a blush that blooms on my cheeks.
He watches me for another second before speaking. "I wanna know why you didn't recognize me at first," he cocks his head to the side. "I mean I'm not upset or anything but you recognized Steve immediately so I'm just curious."
I shrug and look down at the napkin I’m currently ripping to shreds. "Well, I mean, there's photos of Captain America everywhere, posters, comic books, lunch boxes, my niece's bedroom walls." I chuckle at the thought of how excited she'd be if she knew I just met him. "But most of the photos we get of you are on the news, which are blurry as fuck. And I don't read tabloid magazines."
Bucky bobs his head in understanding, a thoughtful look crosses his features. "And besides you were wearing gloves before, that arm is a dead giveaway." He had taken his gloves off when we sat down and I glance down at his hands folded in front of him.
He laughs and my heart skips a beat at the sound. "Yeah, that's fair," he's handsome, almost too handsome, but when he laughs there's a vulnerability to him that makes him seem more alive. It reminds me that he's real and not just a fantasy my mind made up.
Silence settles over us again but it's not the awkward silence from the clinic. This feels comfortable and natural, we're just two people enjoying each other's company. The waitress returns then with the pizza and couple plates for us. We thank her and she gives us a wide smile as she glances between the two of us. "You guys make a really cute couple by the way," when her words register I look up at her in shock.
"What? Oh, no we're not- we're not together. He's just helping me with some stuff. We only met today actually," My blush returns and I glance over at Bucky expecting to see him equally as shocked but he just sits there watching everything unfold, seemingly amused by my floundering.
"Oh! I'm sorry, you just seem comfortable with each other, I assumed you were on a date." She gives an awkward laugh before turning to leave. Bucky leans back in his chair and crosses his arms.
"Is the thought of dating me really that bad?" He teases and his smile grows at my reaction.
I blanch, "Oh my God! No, I'm so sorry. I just- I panicked. Sorry." He's enjoying this, I think to myself and I scramble to think of something, anything, to move past this feeling of wanting to literally disappear off the face of the face of the earth. "Well, now that I've sufficiently embarrassed myself, thank you again for staying with me," I keep my eyes on the slice of pizza in my hand, afraid to meet his eye.
There's a pause and I force myself to look at him, he’s leaning forward again his amused smile turned serious. "You don't have to keep thanking me," he regards me with a gentle look in his blue eyes. "I'm just doing what any good person would do." He shrugs and takes a bite of his own slice.
"I don't know about that, not many people would wait hours at a clinic for someone they don't even know, let alone at their bedside." My curiosity from earlier returns and I tilt my head. "By the way, what did you say to get them to let you in?"
Bucky freezes mid-bite and chews slowly as if stalling. He swallows and wipes his mouth with a napkin. "I, uh, I may have told them you were my girlfriend and that I was worried about you waking up alone and didn't want you to be scared," he pauses before continuing. "I mean, it wasn't a total lie. I know what it's like to wake up in a place you don't know in pain, with no one there to help you, and I didn't want you to feel that." A dark expression crosses his face and I know he's remembering his past and everything he experienced at the hands of HYDRA. I don't know the details but I know what he went through I wouldn't wish on anyone. My heart breaks for him and without thinking I reach across and place my hand on his, hoping it's enough to comfort him like he did for me at the clinic.
Despite my hunger from earlier I'm only able to eat one slice before my stomach begins to cramp again, so I push the rest towards Bucky which he quickly finishes off.
We ask the waitress for the bill but she only shakes her head and tells us it's on the house. I look behind her to see Richard smiling at us behind the counter, so instead I give her a generous tip and thank both her and Richard.
I pull out my phone and pretend to scroll through something if only to have something else to focus on other than Bucky's gorgeous smile and piercing blue eyes. "I should get going." I say reluctantly and Bucky matches my movements as I stand up and head for the door.
*************Bucky*************
Richard winks at me as I wave goodbye and we both share a knowing smile. I like her. she possesses a quiet strength that I find amazing, and even in her simple jeans and t-shirt outfit paired with an oversized knitted sweater she's beautiful.
When I step outside behind her I see that she's at the curb looking for a cab. The sun had set a while ago leaving the sky an inky black. I tap Y/N on the shoulder. "Let me give you a ride home."
She begins to protest but I shake my head and raise my hand to stop her. "Come on, I'm parked back by the clinic you'll get home faster."
She thinks about it for a second then nods. I begin to walk back the way we came and when she catches up to me she links her arm with mine causing my heart to swell. I look down at her for a second and she's smiling up at me, her eyes shine in the low light as if she held all the starlight that was missing from the sky. She looks even more beautiful.
We walk like this the rest of the way arm in arm and I feel a pang of disappointment when reach my motorcycle knowing she'll be leaving my side soon. "This is yours?" She asks and I worry that she'll change her mind, but that worry melts away when she steps ahead of me to examine the bike with a look of awe and excitement on her face. "I've always wanted a motorcycle," then her face falls in slight disappointment. "But my parents were always worried I'd get hurt and then I never got around to getting my license when I moved out."
I chuckle at her excitement and pull the helmet out of the small compartment at the back and hand it to her.
She looks down at it and frowns. "What about you?"
"I'll be fine, don't worry about me." I wink at her and get on the motorcycle. “Super soldier remember?” and she laughs.
“Oh right, how could I forget.” She swings her leg over the bike and gets herself situated on the seat behind me. She places her hands on either side of my waist but I can feel her hesitation.
I look behind me and she gives me a nervous lopsided smile. “You’re gonna need to hold on tighter than that, sweetheart.” She scoots forward and tightly wraps her arms around my waist pressing her body flush to my back. “You ready?” I ask as the motorcycle roars to life.
“Uh huh,” she nods against my back and I smile to myself before we speed off through the streets of New York with her giving me directions every once in a while.
Within 15 minutes we’re pulling up to a small house that she tells me she’s renting. Once we’re stopped and I’ve turned off the bike she hops off the bike and laughs. “That was amazing!” she unbuckles the helmet and hands it back to me. “I definitely need get a motorcycle now.”
The image of her riding her own motorcycle pops into my head and I smile at the thought. “I could teach you if you want.” I offer, hoping I don’t sound too eager to have a reason to see her again. Heat blooms in my chest when she turns her grin on me.
“Yeah, I’d like that.” She looks behind her at her house and heaves a sigh. “Well I better go, thank you again. For everything.” She pauses and chews on her lip as if debating something then steps forward and wraps her arms around me in a hug. Taken by surprise I tentatively wrap my arms around her, after a second we let go and she gives me one last smile before turning to walk up the steps to her house.
*************Y/N*************
I unlock my front door and step through with the biggest, stupidest grin on my face. I couldn’t believe the fight with Alex was something that had happened just this morning, but the bruise on my wrist is still very purple reminding me of the reality that today could’ve ended much worse for me if it wasn’t for Bucky stepping in.
I set down my purse on the bench sitting by the door and I take off my sweater and lay it on the bench beside my purse when a cool breeze wafts over me and a chill runs down my spine. Did I leave a window open somewhere? I wonder to myself as I walk into the living room to check. I walk up to the first set of windows to find they are tightly latched and when I look outside I can see Bucky still at the side of the road leaning against his motorcycle. I would wave to him but he’s looking at something else and that’s when I see the flash of something reflected in the window.
My stomach drops and I slowly turn around to face the opposite wall and reach over to turn on a lamp at my side. My blood freezes in my veins and my heart stops when I see him. Alex.
He’s sitting on my couch silently watching me, his eyes are red as if he’s been crying, his clothes are rumpled and it looks like one of his sleeves is ripped; from what I don’t know. In one hand he’s holding a half empty bottle of vodka, my vodka. And in the other: a knife.
Tags: @doralupin01 @whatsupbucky
#Save Me#Bucky x Reader#Bucky Barnes#bucky x y/n#bucky x female reader#marvel#Avengers#James Buchanan Barnes#MCU#part 2#the winter soldier
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