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fulcrumstoried · 9 months

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Ex Diris and the Card Spread

Just read the Ex Diris lore entry exotic grande launcher from the season pass and haven't seen anyone try to do a breakdown of the cards and how they align with cartomancy yet, cause I am gnawing at this.

So, the Deck of Whispers is an oracle deck (think tarot, but the cards and meanings are different).

One of the ways that people engage with cartomancy is by developing spreads, aka the order you draw the cards, and the places that you put them, add to the meaning of the cards.

Eg, a three card spread of past, present, future. The first card you draw represents the past, the second is the present, the third is the future.

I don't believe Eris' spread has an exact match (please let me know if it does), but it is very very close to the Celtic Cross Spread, particularly the expanded version.

I'll break down the spread, the meanings, and the cards below. There's very little theory crafting, but a lot more meaning finding, so I hope you enjoy!

The Labyrinthos link above is a very good full breakdown, but tl;dr, each card in this Celtic Cross Spread has a different meaning, which I'll get into (at a basic level), and it looks something like this:

Card 1 - Your current situation [Blades]

Eris interpretes this to mean Sword Logic. Yes, but I think it's also about the First Knife, and the Final Shape, aka this whole fight / saga is centered around whether or not the Witness is right.

Card 2 - The Challenge / Obstacle [Adherent]

Eris clearly sees this as Xivu Arath. I agree, an Adherent could also be known as a Disciple. The meaning also supports it: she's the threat of the season, the thing we have to overcome first.

Card 3 - Foundation / Cause of the situation [Sisters]

Eris clearly sees this as the Hive God's first selves. I agree, as the meaning supports this: who the Hive Gods once were is the foundation of who they have become.

Whilst this feels like a limited meaning (there are more causes than just them), I think it's a deliberate choice to set up the next card:

Card 4 - The / Your Past [The Harbinger]

Eris can only see this as herself. The spread meaning becomes tenuous here, perhaps because she is the Oracle and from the past she foretells the future? Perhaps it is her card because it is her past that is in play? Or perhaps it's because the writers wanted to have that very interesting line

Perhaps now she counted among those sisters. Savathûn, Xivu Arath, and Eris Morn. A game between siblings. A love that sharpens.

I've got a bit of a crack theory developing about this (particularly with what implies about her role as a Navigator), but that's for later.

---

This is also when the normal spread and Eris' differ. Traditionally, you then place Card 5, which represents the present. Eris skips this (perhaps because she doesn't need to know what's happening now), and goes straight to

Card 6 - Near Future [The Lie]

Eris wonders if this is the Guardians, or maybe the lie of the Deep. From a simple standpoint, perhaps it could just mean that the future is a lie, or that to know the Future is to know a lie? Or, following the way each card is an entity, perhaps this is the Witness? After all, they're going to be in our near future.

---

This is when the normal and Eris' spreads diverge again. Sometimes, at the end of a reading, people add three or four more cards across the bottom, which shows the more subtle influences around the person doing the reading. Eris does this halway through, creating:

Because she does it halfway through, I think Cards 6, 7, and 8 are clarifiers of the three columns beneath them, rather than the reading as a whole. (I'm also toying with the idea that they could also represent the Surface, the Sky, and the Deep, but eh)

(Lmao I've just realised that because I made the second graphic, now the numbers don't align, and I'm going to repeat Card 6 and now use the numbers from Eris' spread, sorry!)

Card 6 - aligned with Harbinger/Eris [Liminal]

Imo these match, Eris is currently occupying the liminal space between Hive and not-Hive, Light and Dark.

Card 7 - aligned with Sisters [Ascension]

Again, a match, their rise from being sisters to godhood.

Card 8 - aligned with The Lie [Lacuna]

Now, a lacuna is a gap, particularly where there should be, or once was, something. Eris saw it as part of a Guardian's Light, but I think it's specifically her Light - and the fact that she no longer has it.

She had not held it for centuries. The Hive sisters below beckoned more loudly than the Light did.

Aligned with The Lie, either she is tempted to fill it with the Lie (aka the Darkness), or the fact that she doesn't have it is the Lie (?).

---

Then we get to the final four cards, also known as the Staff.

Card 9 - Current approach / Your influence [The Witch]

Eris is torn between Savathun and herself, and I think that's reflected in what the meaning of the card could be. I'm leaning towards Savathun, because it's highly unusual to have two cards representing one person in a spread, and because she is, you know, the Witch Queen.

Also, that which is influencing us and dictating our approach right now is Savathun. So if we continue with our current approach, we will continue up the staff/column of cards to:

Card 10 - What you need to know / External influence [The Truth]

This is a fun card because it states The Truth, then Eris goes and says

There were too many truths for any one to triumph.

This is a very interesting line to me, and immediately brought to mind the final Veil Log, the Von Neumann-Wigner hypothesis mentioned, and this breakdown from Reddit. Tl;dr the Light is about creating possibilities, and the Darkness is about collapsing all possible states into one reality.

I also find Eris' use of the word triumph interesting - what will the final truth (final shape) of the universe be?

Card 11 - Hope / Fear [Lament]

Eris sees this as Oryx's death. I immediately thought of The Lament sword from Beyond Light. The sword was a gift from Clovis Bray to Banshee, due to his regret at not caring about the living whilst he was alive. In it, he states

Stay alive. For legacy.

However, when we activate the Clovis Bray AI, he threatens to kill Banshee. His initial lament is forgotten. Similarly, Savathun and Xivu Arath both once died, and Oryx brought them back.

So, these combine in two interesting ways; that of fear of total loss then rejection upon regaining it, and perhaps a fear/hope of sword logic being true.

Card 12 - Outcome [The Wish]

The particle The Wish feels important, and my immediate reaction was The Last Wish or Eris' Wish? Now Eris' was in the past, and I think both the meaning (Outcome) and Eris' interpretation suggest that this is something that will occur.

Eris had wished before. It had led her here. Would she be asked to wish again? What else would her desire wrought?

This post breaks down those lines really well. Or perhaps it is about the Last Wish, fulfilling it, that of the fireteam wishing to keep the Dreaming City / Awoken/Humanity safe?

A wish is desire, the greatest power in this universe.

Which is pretty much a direct quote from the Last Wish cinematic. This also reminds me of the reddit post, as being able to choose your reality feels like a pretty darn great power.

---

Eris' interpretations of these cards are built on each other, like a tower working up. A Witch, from whom Truth flows, which causes Lament, to the final outcome of The Wish.

This could be the story of Eris, actually. She asked for the way out of the tunnels under the moon (knowledge, and truth), losing and gaining something in the process, to obtain the wish of being free.

But also, according to Labyrinthos, with the staff (this column of four cards),

We learn how the context of this situation can affect the reader's life outside the situation, and also - how to change it, if desired.

I think these cards are not just for Eris, but for the story/season - the wider picture, and also how it may change later.

---

I also think that these cards do a really good job of bringing together a lot of different areas of Destiny story together - from Forsaken and the Last Wish, to Lament and Beyond Light, with the Hive and Witch Queen.

This was an absolute blast to try and read into, so hope you all enjoyed my red string nonsense!

#destiny 2 #destiny 2 spoilers #season of the witch #season of the witch spoilers #yes i made graphics lmao #destiny 2 lore

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lov3-lik3-ghosts · 18 days

Note

Hey I was wondering if you had any Ricky & Jacob hc’s?? It can be romantic or platonic??

If not I was wondering if you could write about Jacob & Ricky going to a lake at night and Ricky letting Jacob talk about what happened when he went missing??

How They Got Together

Pairing: Ricky Pickering x Jacob Portman.

Format: Headcanon’s. (accidentally extended)

Warnings: Fighting. Mentions of blood. A lot of vulgar language. Kissing. Suggestive themes? I got a little carried away, they’re definitely extended hc’s, I’m sorry :( Not beta read. Possessive!Ricky. Jealous!Ricky. Angst.

Word count: 6.1k

A/n: hello! I’d like to let it be known that I only have book one of the mphfpc series and that I’ve not gotten past the first couple chapters, so I really hope I’ve captured their characters. From what I know of their characters, they’d be quite cute together and I love the idea, so I gave it a try!! Funnily enough, your only my second request and both have been for Ricky x Jacob, lol. Thank you, I hope you enjoy!!!

Reblogs are extremely appreciated!

Request Guidelines Masterlist

~ 𐀔 ~ 𐀔 ~ 𐀔 ~

• I think Ricky would be the first to realise he liked Jacob more than a friend. That’s not to say that he confessed straight up, (or liked it, for that matter).

• There’s definitely a chance that Ricky did make the first move. But, I also think he’s lead by stronger emotions — jealousy, anger, embarrassment, fear — and he lets them get in his way. If he confessed first, it was done in a moment clouded and misjudged by an emotional response.

• Following that, there’s only two emotions that I can imagine would make him spill or act upon his feelings. Anger or jealousy.

• If he was angry — rather, irritated — I can imagine that he’d let his irritation build until the point he does something brash; like hit someone or kiss them. And, in this case, he did.

Let’s say he was letting some drunkards have a hit at his car. His gas was running low, to the point he couldn’t make it much further without breaking down and, as a last minute resort, he’d pulled over beside a pub. He’d picked the first group to stumble out, tripping over their own feet while conversing words so loud they were practically shouted. A gaggle of men; all built like a brick shithouse, all similar in height to Ricky’s 6”5, all pissed out their own minds.

He’d walked over and thrust a golf club in their faces with a gruff invitation and a list of rules. Except, these were drunk men with giggling women watching from the door of the bar, men with egos so high and egged on by each other that Ricky’s rules were mere forgotten suggestions.

Swing one hit the left door. Swing two, the boot. Swing three, the roof. And then, swing four, swung smack dab into the middle of his back doors window.

Ricky ripped the club from the guys hand with force. Shoving the man away from his car, he lift the metal over his head and clocked the guy over the head with it. Once, twice, thrice.

His mates rushed forward, grabbing Ricky by his arms and forcing him away from the cowering man. One held him back with his own arms looped through the crook of Ricky’s own, pinning them behind his back after forcing the stick from his tight grasp, and another two threw clenched fists at his open stomach. Ricky grunted, breathless and winded. No matter how much he struggled, even with them drunk, Ricky couldn’t fight free against five men without lasting damage; they had him rendered useless.

The fifth man lugged his injured friend up, arm thrown over his shoulder and held still by his waist. “Get a move on,” he called over, “Someone’ll call the cops if you keep it up.”

Ricky was victim to the brute force of a last hit to his cheek that knocked him senseless and dazed before he was shoved to the ground with a boot to his hip. He lay curled in a fetal position, catching his breath, before sitting and turning to his car.

His poor Crown Victoria was more noticeably damaged then it ever had been and looking at it made him surge with a rage unquenchable.

A rage he festered in for days. Sneering at anyone that asked what happened to his cheek. Avoiding the people he could normally put up with.

Jacob was insistent though. Insistent and relentless. Insistent and relentless and adorning the most enchanting pair of blues that Ricky had ever seen. When Portman wanted something, they widened half a notch and seemingly paled a shade in colour while hope coated determination twinkled in them. And what he wanted right now, was to know why Ricky hadn’t shown up to the last two study sessions they had planned the week before.

And Ricky couldn’t outright ignore him like he could everyone else — not when he looked up at him like that.

“C’mon, Ricky! I’m just trying to help you pass math. I can’t do that if you don’t show up!” He huffed, frustrated. Ricky side-eyed him, his lip curling with annoyance. “Do we need to rearrange? Is that it? Because if that’s what you wanted you could have just fucking said instead of wasting my time!”

So he settled for vulgar language instead.

“Fuck off, Special Ed.” He snapped. Pivoting on his feet, he began to walk down the deserted hallway and away from the shorter boy. He thought momentarily that Portman had finally gotten it through his head, but a second pair of footsteps soon came tumbling after him. Ricky rolled his eyes, speeding up with a huff.

“If you don’t slow the hell down, I swear to god.” Jake muttered under his breath, catching up with Pickering’s pace. In a moment of blind irritation, Portman wrapped his fingers around the span of Ricky’s wrist and pulled. Ricky stumbled back, not having expected the force of it.

His skin flushed with molten anger, burning through his blood and tightening his limbs. His fists clenched at his sides, the blunt edges of his nails imbedding through the skin of his palms. Stalking forward, his breath ragged and his nostrils flaring, he backed Jacob into a row of metal lockers.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He gritted. “I know you’re not fucking stupid, Special Ed, so why the fuck are you acting like it?”

Jacob gulped, squirming under the piercing glare. “You’re right, I’m not stupid. I know somethings fucking wrong with you… so spill.”

“How many times do I have to tell you to fuck off before it registers?” He steps closer, a hand landing harshly on the locker beside Portman’s head. Jacob flinched, following the movement, and Pickering felt twang of guilt pierce the anger. Surely, Jake didn’t think he would actually hit him.

When he spoke next, it was through a gasp of breath; like he was finally getting nervous about pushing him. “A lot more. You do this every time something happens. You self-sabotage.”

The guilt flushed out of Ricky quicker than he could register it. “The fuck I do! I’m so sick of pricks like you looking at me and makin’ assumptions!” He snarled. “You got everything fucking handed to you-”

“Don’t start with that victim shit! I’m ‘privileged’ but I’m not oblivious to the world. I’m not oblivious to you! Something happened. And I know because your fucking grades are slipping again, you’re pissy all the time and you’re fucking avoiding me!”

Ricky paused. The flaming fury wracking his chest loosening and calming with an overtake of warm fondness. ‘I’m not oblivious to you!’ He’d never considered that. Never considered that someone didn’t just see him as a raging ball of fiery wrath only good for being brawny. His eyes trailed the length of Portman’s face, lingering on the plumpness of his lips — before recognising they were still moving.

“-t the bullshit and get your shit together, Ricky. I can’t keep fucking waiting around every time someone says something about your fucking mom or your intelligence or the fucking fights! I’m trying to help you, I can’t do that if you don’t meet me half-way!”

The flames soared high again. Jacob was in a disarray under him; his eyes were blown wide and drowning in a deep anxiety, flicking between Ricky’s face and the hand blocking him in. His breath was as ragged as Pickering’s own, and Ricky didn’t think he’s noticed, but he’d placed both hands on his abdomen — both pushing him and pulling him closer with every emotion he displayed.

“Shut up.” Ricky said. The influx of emotions confusing and re-angering him all at once. The mention of his mother sent a reactive need to fight alight; his hand curled beside Jake’s head.

“No. You never liste-”

But he couldn’t find it in himself to raise a threatening hand to him — not after protecting him from raised fists for so long, not when he looked up at him like that. All impassioned and frenzied and perfect.

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Just fucking listen to m-”

“No. Shut it.”

Why was his pretty mouth still moving? Why couldn’t he just be quiet and let him stew in his pity for a while longer?

“Ricky, I swear to f-”

He surged forward, lips crashing into Jacob’s clumsily and with fervour. Portmans’s mouth had been half open, in the middle of a sentence, and in turn Ricky kissed more of his teeth than he did his lips. Jacob froze completely beneath him, voice humming through Ricky’s mouth as it died it with an intake of air.

Pickering stayed for a long moment, hoping with all hope that Portman kissed back. That this wouldn’t change things for the worst. But nothing.

He stepped back. Anxiety churning his stomach and with all intentions to turn and never look Jacob in the eye ever again. His lips left Jake’s, pursued and reddened from force.

This seemed to kickstart Portman, who grasped tight onto Pickering’s shirt with one hand and snaked a hand into the crook of his throat with the other. Their lips re-smushed together, this time with Ricky delaying in reciprocating before stepping forward and forcing Jacob back straight against the lockers. Jacob gasped again, fingers trailing around the nape of his neck and bringing their faces closer than should be possible.

Their noses flattened into each others cheeks, leaving no room for breath. Ricky parted, inhaled a stunted gasp, and went back in for another one.

Pickering’s hands found Jake’s hips, pushing himself flush up against the other body. Portman groaned, the hand holding Ricky’s shirt moving to hold his side with a squeeze before he pulled apart from Ricky’s lips with a shuttering sigh.

“Oh.” He whispered, leaning his head back against the metal. “That was- oh.” Ricky watched his pupils pulse with dilation, eyes half-lidded and fluttering.

“You should learn to take a fucking hint.” He swallowed, pressing his forehead lightly to the other.

“Honestly, I thought you might hit me.” He shrugged lightly. “It was better than you ignoring me. But I’d settle for this reaction every time.”

“I would never fucking hit you, you dick.” He sneered. “Never.”

• If he was jealous, however, I think he’s much more inclined to glue himself to Jacob (subtly). He asks for double the amount of study sessions, he offers to take him to school and back everyday, he forced him to sit with him at lunch. He knows he doesn’t have a right to be jealous, Jacob isn’t his. And he surely never will be.

• They’ve been dancing a dance between each other for months now. Playing a game that was seemingly endless. One in which Jacob gives suggestive hints to Ricky and Pickering responds in kind.

• Except, Jacob is impatient. So, he plays into Ricky’s vulnerability — he’s baiting him. He’s always been baiting him.

• In this scenario, Jacob suspects that it’s him that makes Ricky act so odd, so possessive. And he’s smart (Ricky doesn’t call him ‘Special Ed’ for no reason), so it’s easy to piece together that Pickering only ever seems to get that reactive whenever he spends more time around Malia, a girl he shares advanced math with.

• And there’s only so long Ricky can take watching her and Jacob giggle between them before he does something about it.

• They’re at Jacob’s house, much to his parents chargin, studying. Ricky is staring down at the book that had been thrust before him once he’d sat, open already on a page filled with letters and numbers and all sorts of unfamiliar symbols.

Jake hadn’t given him much context, just shoved a few sheets of paper and a pencil at him with the instruction of figuring out as many equations as he could in the thirty minutes set. There was no help, no explanation as to what this was for, just a dismissive wave of his hand at Ricky’s dumbfounded stare.

So, he knuckled down. The words painting the textbook seemed completely foreign, like trying to understand French when you’d only ever spoken English — but like looking at other languages, some equations were more recognisable and easier to differentiate; some were closer variants to what he knew.

He’d picked out the three he felt he had more chance of understanding and focused on them for the first twenty minutes with furrowed brows. Jake would occasionally glance at him and open his mouth like he wanted to say something before inevitably deciding against it. He’d pulled out his phone after unloading the work onto Pickering, instantly clicking into the open messages between him and Malia.

He’d planned to just sit snickering at the screen, despite the fact their conversation was far from funny, as an attempt to rile Ricky into the bait but he kept making the mistake of looking at the boy each time before he did.

Ricky looked uncharacteristically adorable. His head cocked to one side with his face scrunched in concentration; he’d let his hair grow a few inches longer then he normally would, giving it the length to fall onto his forehead, and he’d huff a sigh through flared nostrils each time he’d have to shove it back. Ricky was twitchy when he had to pay attention, shuffling and wiggling and twisting every few seconds; Jacob had realised through observing that he only ever seemed to do that when he was with him. He found it endearing.

Pickering glanced up, tongue visibly moving along his teeth from inside his mouth and Jacob rushed to look back at his screen with pink cheeks.

“So what’s this for then?” He grumbled, nodding down to the desk. “You testin’ me or something?”

Jake hummed, feigning interest in his phone while offering Ricky a half-hearted response. “Need to know what you remember.” Ricky’s eyes raked the length of him, narrowing distastefully at the device.

Portman peeked over at him, “You done?”

“All I can do, yeah.” He shrugged a shoulder.

“Good.” He hummed again, “Look over it. Double check your answers.” Jacob blinked down at his phone, forcing his shoulders to untense as he typed bullshit sentences into the text bubble, playing into his guise.

“Are you joking?” Pickering scoffed, eyeing between his face and his hands, a tick in his jaw. “Aren’t you supposed to do that? What the fuck am I here for if you’re not helping me?!”

“I’m seeing what you remember. Stop being difficult about it.” Jake gave him the side-eye, falsified with judgement and contempt.

“I’m not being fucking difficult! I walked in here and the first thing you did was pick up your stupid fucking phone.” Ricky sneered. “Thought you were taught proper manners?”

Jacob’s grip tightened and loosened, a coarse of adrenaline flushing through him like molten lava. His breath hitched, a catch in his throat that had him parting his lips and inhaling subtly. Baiting Ricky was easy, easier that most things Jacob tried his hand at, but the presence of unpredictability hovered almost mockingly close.

“Just double check your damn answers.”

“Whatever.” Portman watched carefully as he did, Ricky’s jaw still ticking every few seconds. Good. Something was working.

The screen flickered below him, capturing his attention. Maria was bombarding him with questions, ranging from ‘what does that even mean?’ and ‘fuck you too? Asshole.’. Confused, he scrolled up and saw endless messages conducted of nonsense words and inane insults.

Maria:

What even is a ‘bombard chicken-ass lokam look-alike’???

You’re a dick. ‘Mary Jane Lucy smelling ass_ your face long enough for the first’ and ‘Ken’s right-hand man the fat course of continent you’. What the fuck does that even mean????

I don’t know what you’re on about but that shits still oddly insulting.

Honestly, what the hell? Did I do something?

Jacob.

Jake?

Portman, I swear to god dude.

Answer me, you fuck!

You know what, I don’t even care if I did something. Your pasty ass better have been butt texting cause I swear if you weren’t I’m gonna reduce your twig of a self into a pile of bad grades and no balls.

Not like you have any anyways.

Jacob snickered, a sound that rumbled through his throat and escaped through his nose, and figured he’d put her out her conflicted misery.

Jacob:

Sorry.

I was typing bullshit to see how long it’d take to piss Ricky off that I wasn’t paying him attention. I wasn’t even reading it before I sent it lol

The text bubble appeared and disappeared for countless seconds, all of which Jacob spent grinning and festering in ideas of how she’d respond. There was a likely chance that Maria would keep up an annoyed facade while giving curious inquiries and woven insults, but when the text finally came through, he felt a flash of disappointment instead.

Maria:

Oh. Well, be careful. I’ve seen him at school and the boy has a temper, wouldn’t want him to hit you in your mug.

Might be the only thing you’ve got going for you physically.

Jacob:

Firstly, I got a lot going for me, thanks. Secondly, I’m expecting a reaction.

Ricky gathered the loose papers and book roughly, shoving them into a crumpled pile and throwing them onto the bed beside Jacob’s feet without care; Jacob jumped but stayed put. The glare on his face was scalding, roaming the hunched form of Portman before pausing on the screen. He couldn’t read the messages from a distance but the bold name at the top sent blares of vivid envy gnawing at his stomach and forced his hands to fist by his sides.

He cleared his throat when he got no reaction and Jacob’s head lifted with his eyes still trained on the messages. He hummed up at him in question, facading disinterest. Ricky’s face darkened, his eyes hooding and dilating.

“Why am I here if you’re not fucking teaching me?” He growled with his lip curled down into a snarl.

Portman’s fingers flew along the keyboard letters, typing out a last sentence before locking the phone closed and dropping it onto his lap.

Jacob:

If that reaction is a hit to the face, then so be it.

And if it’s a kiss, then even better.

Maria’s reaction was instantaneous — his phone lit up not a second later and buzzed without stop with her onslaught. He snorted lightly when he caught a glimpse of her answer; every message she sent was written in all caps and filled with an overuse of punctuation marks. Ricky’s jaw tightened from above him and he kissed his teeth.

Pickering’s hand unfisted and slid under the bone of Jacob’s jaw, his fingers pinching into the fat of his cheeks. Tilting his head up lightly, Ricky watched as he squirmed and flustered with interest. “I’m talking to you. Listen.” He’d tried to sound angry, or at least annoyed, but even to his own ears he’d gritt a plead.

Portman swallowed, the movement of his throat tickling Pickering’s palm. He licked his lips and inhaled sharply, with Ricky’s eyes following his tongue as it disappeared back into its cavern. “You keep asking the same questions. You already know why.” He breathed.

Ricky stayed silent for a long moment, gaze trained directly on Jacob’s own. The contact was roaring with intensity, a game of cat and mouse in its own right — a fight between whether Pickering should back off or if Portman should stop his sharade. Neither blinked nor in took deeper than shallow breaths but Ricky’s grip loosened and his face untensed.

“I keep asking because you keep giving me the same bullshit answer.” He whispered lowly. “You’ve been ignoring me for days, only talking to Maria, and when you’d asked if I wanted to come ‘round today, I thought you’d finally stopped pissing around.”

His voice was soft, if not twinged lightly with annoyance. Ricky stepped closer to the beds edge, his knees pressed against the mattress, and Jacob sat up straighter so his head was just above his chest. Their faces were meters apart, the greenette’s head dipped at the chin and the brunette’s tilted up; Jacob felt the warmth of Ricky’s breath against his face when he continued talking.

“And then I get here and you’re still ignoring me…” He furrowed his eyebrows. “Only for me to find out that you’re still talking to Maria. So, what is it? Are you guys dating? Or would you just rather spend your time with her?”

“What?” Jacob panicked. “Why the hell would you think we’re dating?”

“It’s not far-fetched, Special Ed.” He annunciated. “You’re both smart. You both like the same shit. I s’ppose I’d rather be around her if were you, too.” Ricky shrugged, trying and failing to come across unbothered.

“I don’t prefer her company, idiot. She’s just a friend. We-”

“You’re right.” Pickering nodded. “You’re friends, I’m not. I get it.” His hand dropped from Jacob’s face, a hurt frown overtaking his previous anger.

Portman grabbed his wrist before it fell to his side, gripping the span of it with a firmness unfamiliar to them both. “That’s not what I sai-”

“You didn’t have to.” He swallowed. “It’s just the truth.”

“No, it’s not! Stop twisting my words, dick! Me and Maria are friends. Me and you are mo-” He cut himself off this time, with his eyes wide and horrorfied. “Listen,” he gulped, “Me and Maria are friends, close friends. I like her, she can be sweet and she has this funny way of being both insulting and the most reassuring person all at the same time. She likes the same music I like, and the same foods, and the same movies. Her ma-”

Ricky’s mind reeled. They were friends, only friends, yet Jacob was still talking about her like he was ready to hop off and elope. It should be him. Him who had spent months playing into Jacob’s game of ‘will they, won’t they’, him who broke himself down into something softer all for the sake of sticking around.

But Jacob would never actually be with him.

Wouldn’t he? Something countered, a small voice filled with all-knowing and undertoned with challenge. More. You and him are more. He said it himself.

Pickering straightened. His eyes unblurred, refocusing back into Portman’s overwrought state and deciding with finality that he would do something. Jacob stayed rambling through all the reasons why Maria was so great and compatible and, surged with a spark of jealousness, Ricky struck.

His hand returned under the stretch of his jaw, fingers biting into flesh with purpose, Jacob’s grip on his wrist following the movement. Portman stuttered with his mouth parting and he stared up at Ricky in a daze. Wasting no time, he dashed forward and connected their lips with rough passion.

Jacob’s reaction was almost instantaneous, kissing back in a fight for dominance that had their teeth clash and their noses bump. He tilted his head to give himself a moment to breathe, lips still brawling fierce, and Ricky followed suit as he pushed himself closer.

The hand grasping him loosened and slid softly to brush along his jawbone before slipping away to caress the sensitivity of his jugular — Jacob groaned into his mouth, the sound humming through their lips and stroking lightly against the tips of Ricky’s moving fingers. Ricky smiled.

Portman clasped the nape of his neck, forcing him down further into their lip-lock with desperation and Pickering stumbled, his knees forcibly meeting the bed frame and making him kneel on the mattress. Ricky parted with a grunt, gasping urgently for lost air as he pressed his head against the other.

Jacob looked worse for wear, his face flushed and dazed and all gooey-eyed, his lips were swollen and reddened and slick with salvia but he wasn’t panting for any semblance of oxygen — instead, he inhaled deep breaths and pushed the tip of his nose softly into Ricky’s.

“You look so pretty.” He whispered, eyes never straying from Pickering’s. “You look like mine.”

Ricky swallowed nervously. “I am yours.”

“I know,” Jacob said gently, exhaling when Ricky began to curl the hair on his nape. “I’ve always been yours.”

Ricky’s eyebrows curled and he pressed his nose tighter into Jake’s as his eyes flickered with question and a twinge of possession. “Not Maria’s?”

“Definitely not Maria’s.” He chuckled. “Maria’s a lesbian. She wouldn’t wanna touch me with a ten foot pole.”

“Dick.” Ricky scoffed. “I knew you were doing it on purpose!” Even though his face contorted to showcase his peeved emotions, he moved further onto the bed and watched as Jacob snickered with a warmth in his chest.

• Jacob is a bit of a different case.

• I’m not saying he’s not overrun by strong emotions, because what teenager isn’t? But I do think because he grew up in a different environment, where things aren’t always survival of the fittest, that he has somewhat of a better grasp on them.

• If Jacob confessed first, which I think is more likely, then it was just because he wanted to.

• For some reason, I’ve got it in my head that he’s secretly a romantic and so I see him confessing in an unintentionally cringy (read: sweet) manner.

• However, for comedic and characteristic purposes, let’s not forget that Jacob can be an anxious guy and so not everything went with smooth sailing.

• Ricky is sat beside him, hands routing through a tattered backpack. The rumble of the Crown Victoria generates through him with low vibration and serves as a gentle soothe to his unease. Ricky doesn’t often have music on whenever he drives Jacob to and fro but the few times he’d had him sit with the car still the radio was always turned up a notch or two.

Pickering’s music is subjective to his mood, whenever he turns it on Jacob is always prepared for an onslaught fast rapping and strong beats, this time his music was softer, sweeter — Lord Huron, an artist Jacob had at the top of his list of favourites and one he had fragmented memories of once upon a time telling Ricky about. The music doesn’t serve as the comfort Jacob hoped it would.

It was days ago that he had slipped a parchment lined with ink, wrapped sleekly in pristine folded paper into the open of the others bag. A bag that went unused far more often than it did.

He’d placed it there knowing that it always lay deserted in a crumpled heap to fester in a corner of Ricky’s room or the backseats of his car. He’d placed it there hoping that it’d go unnoticed, like most things put in there, left to the abyss of the black hole that Ricky’s bag had always been. There were off chances that Pickering would have an epiphany and suddenly decide that the abyss of disdained homework and forgotten pencils were worth his time after all; but the probability of it happening was so low in itself that when Jacob had left the letter there it hadn’t crossed his mind that Ricky would ever find it.

And it definitely hadn’t crossed his mind that he would find it with Jacob sitting right there with him.

Portman has always had this odd way of being the most lucky and unlucky guy all at once, it seems his luck has run out. He’d considered that Ricky might one day have to go routing for lost importanties and it had aided as fuel to the fire that was Jacob’s feelings for him but that should have been years down the line and far far away from Jacob.

Now, he watched as his face furrowed and he flipped the envelope between two fingers with befuddlement. The bag lay laxly in his lap, folded in on itself with recent emptiness. Jacob wished more than anything he could fold in too.

The front of the ‘lope was inked in green, bold, capitalised letters that stood out a mile. The colour had been chosen with sentiment, with the hope that Ricky might notice and appreciate that he’d picked the shade of his hair. Presently, it felt stupid and looked brash. Jacob hadn’t written his first name, having felt like he’d already bore his soul in the letter’s length and not willing to extend that odd intimacy that was their denomination.

“Pickering.” Ricky read. “Why are you posting letters to me through a damn bag?” He scoffed and tilted his chin sideways to face him.

Jacob’s stomach lurched with a sickening rush of trepidation. He looked between him and his confession with such rapidness his head spun and he was sure he would be seeing his lunch for a final time. He knew. Ricky somehow knew, and he hadn’t even opened the damn thing. How did he know?

Then, he spotted it. The tell tale letter that he’d prided himself for using, a flare of an extra flick and a certain roundness given usually to an ‘R’ but gifted to his ‘k’; a pompous ideology Ricky never failed to point out. Fuck. There goes his chance of convincing him not to read it.

“I’m not.” Jacob swallowed, rolling his eyes for effect. “It was just some shitty Christmas card that I gave to a couple people, just trash it.”

Ricky’s eyes shone with a enflux of mirth and his lips quirked. “A Christmas card? What are we, five?” His voice quivered with gleeful entertainment.

“I know. It was stupid. You should chuck it.” He’s trying, really trying, not to let his desperation seep but the emotion is strong and clawing at him with such ferocity that he’s sure his insides are tearing. He tries to settle on nonchalance.

“Now, now,” Pickering teases, “That’d be plain rude, don’t you think?” Jacob knows it’s rhetorical and a light pick at his posher upbringing but the need to answer anyway forms when the boy's fingers slide under the sealed opening.

The noise places on his tongue, dancing on the edge with torment, and the word takes on his lips — no, he’s prepared to say, ready to scream with a foolhardy ambition. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t because this is what he wanted, had wanted when he’d written and sealed and placed his downfall, and to take it away would be to lose an opportunity. Jacob had lost too many opportunities in this lifetime.

At least now he’ll know that he’s as hopeless as he’s always thought.

Ricky has the letter in hand now, unfolded and bore. He’s not a quick reader and so Jacob sits in an agonising everlasting stillness — the low music and buzzing engine hushed and drowned by the unmuzzled panic set wild in him.

Dear Ricky,

I’m writing this for the sixth time knowing it’ll never find its way to you if I get a say in it. I’m writing this as a way to tell you without telling you at all, with the hope that it will flush out the stupidity of it. Though, it never does.

You’re everything. You have single-handedly weaned your way into my life, my heart, and made yourself the axis of it. You are everywhere and in everything and I can’t be anything without wanting to be it with you. You've become the rain and the butterflies and the games and the ease. You’ve become the books and the pictures and the music and the way I breathe. You’ve become life and I’m almost sure you’ll become death, too.

You’re what I want in life. In work, in enjoyment, in entertainment. I want you. I’ll always want you.

Even if you don’t want me. I can settle for anything you’ll give — I’ll take your hate, your anger, your disappointment, if only that’s what you need from me. I’ll be a friend, I’ll be an enemy, I’ll be a lover; I only hope I’ll never be a stranger. A hateful version of you is miles better than no version at all.

If you haven’t already gathered, I’m in love with you, Ricky. I’ve been in love with you for a long time.

Please don’t ask me to be a stranger? Please just hate me instead.

Love,

Your first admirer, Jacob.

P.S. Your music still sucks ass, that doesn’t change.

Ricky shook, the paper in his hands quivering with him; it differed from Jacob’s anxious trembles in the way that Ricky flushed with suffocating relief and reddened. Portman stayed frozen. He knew Ricky was done reading because his eyes no longer flickered with the movement but the longer he stayed silent the more Jacob reared in preparation.

His eyes didn’t stray from Pickering, trained on him like a canine cautious and ready to be struck in the worst of ways — in ways that would pierce his heart and have it bleed black and blue. Ricky’s breath shuddered when he exhaled, reminiscent of Jacob's own when he did.

Ricky folded the parchment back into a rectangle with delicate fingers, handling the letter like it was some aged artefact of value that could crumble any moment. He shifts in his seat, his legs bending at the knee and pointing towards Jacob as he twists his torso to face him. Their gazes connect with a crossfire of conflict and a hope.

The silence stays thick and stifling and Jacob cracks. “Please say something.” He begs, “Anything.”

“I-That was fucking poetic.” He chokes out. Ricky’s always been bad at emotions, at expressing them and feeling them in complete overwhelm but Jacob asked him to speak — Jacob asked and he couldn’t leave him to the quiet because he asked him not to.

Jacob’s turmoil somehow sated and re-flamed in the same span of time. Ricky wasn’t angry at him, he didn’t hate him but he didn’t reciprocate either. Poetic.

“You hate me?” He asked, just to be sure. Just to cover all grounds because sometimes Ricky wasn’t as readable as others.

Ricky flinched, as if the sentence just spoke was a man waving a loaded gun and firing. “Hate you?” He frowned. “I could never hate you. Not now. Not after…this.” He gestured to the letter. “Never after this.”

“Oh.” Jake gulped down the relief knitting in his throat with effort. “We’re- uh- we’re good right? ‘Cause I don’t want things to get weird because of some stupid feelings I have. I don’t want to lose our friendship because I was dumb enough to leave some letter in your bag.” He tried harbouring the same nonchalance he’d tried earlier but his voice betrayed his wishes once again with a pitch of unwavering need and plead.

“Why did you put it in my bag if you didn't want me to see it?” Pickering bites into the flesh of his cheek.

“I don’t know.” Jacob inhaled a stuttering breath. “You don’t ever go in that bag. I thought you might find it in a few months, maybe, and at least by then I’d have had a few more months of you. I thought maybe you’d see the envelope and just trash it, you don’t like to read shit.” He shrugged a shoulder.

Ricky bit a lip. Jacob was right, he would have chucked it without thought, he would have but that was Portman’s writing and he would never be rid of anything he gave him. Not really.

“Are we good?” Jake asked again, riddled with nerves.

Pickering inhaled deep, so much so that the air tightened his chest and stung his lungs. “I love you.” He confessed, a strangled sentence that sounded more forced than sincere, a show his body committed to whenever he tried to show affection. “I love you.” He said, with finality.

“What?” Portman breathed. “I’m sor-sorry, you what?”

“I love you.” He affirmed. “Too. I love you, too.”

Jacob stared, this time with a certain awestruck dazed look that made him appear almost high. His lips lay parted and his eyes wide and he looked like he’d been through some religious epiphany and seen God themself — except, he was looking right at Ricky and Ricky just said he loved him. “I love you.” Jacob said it this time, actually said it instead of just wrote it, and Ricky fucking Pickering blushed when he did.

• So, yes, Jacob has an easier time with emotions than Ricky but overall they're both pretty bad at it. Because Jacob panics and Ricky gets mad and they’re kinda fucking perfect for each other really.

• Yes, Jacob is a little cheesy and poetic and (not so) secretly a hopeless romantic and wholly devoted to being in Ricky’s life no matter. And yes, Ricky does sometimes think it’s cringey.

• (He does not.)

~ 𐀔 ~ 𐀔 ~ 𐀔 ~

Reblogs and comments are extremely appreciated and encouraging!

#mphfpc #ricky pickering #jacob portman #lgbt representation #completed request #Jacob x Ricky #headcanon #taking requests

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riverstardis · 2 years

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valentine’s day mascara:

i guess classic is the only casualty we’ll be getting for a while then?

cal goading ethan into playing rock paper scissors with him🥺

“magic is lying” ooh lily’s so autistic

“the proceeds of the estate sale to be shared equally, however ethan is to hold caleb’s share in a trust fund with power of attorney until such time as he believes his brother won’t spent the lot on gambling, drink, and women”

iain running straight into the burning building, yup nothing’s changed

cal and ethan both wanting to take the burns patient, “i’ll take it” “why?” “i’m older” “not wiser”

“cal, i take our mother’s request seriously” “I take ouR motHER’S ReQUeST SeriOusLy”

why does cal accuse ethan of letting his patient be guilt tripped into getting married when cal was the one who interrupted ethan treating her to bring his patient in to propose????

ohh iain’s og ptsd

lmaooo the patient’s mum being like “ooh are you going to manhandle me doctor” when ethan asks her to leave and he just looks mildly confused and says no sjskdlfkgk i love him. also similar energy to last week when the patient was like “did the nhs bleach your teeth?” and he was like “i brush them?” (aka thank god they’re writing him in character again)

“i know we don’t know each other very well iain, but look at you. you haven’t had to spent 6 months in a rehabilitation centre but the tiniest mention of afghanistan and you’re sweating like a pig”

lily being like “so sometimes lying is okay?” after the magic show shskdkf

“no, cal, what i don’t love is that even in her will, she put you first and i’m just left to look after you. do you never think for one second how upsetting it is to hear her rattling on about your potential and about how you can be the man you’re supposed to be and not one word about me? ah ethan can you wipe cal’s backside for him? well, who looks out for me, caleb?” :(

it’s hard cause neither of them are in the wrong when it comes to the will thing, like obviously cal’s gonna be upset about knowing she didn’t trust him with the money, and it’s totally valid for ethan to be upset about being overshadowed by cal even in her will and having a responsibility he didn’t want forced on him, it’s on their mum really for putting them in this position

also it’s interesting because cal thinks that ethan’s enjoying lording it over him and not only does ethan’s reaction to him saying that show it obviously isn’t true, but there are few times over the following years where ethan shows that he definitely doesn’t enjoy opportunities to lord over cal but cal never even realises (eg when they both fail their consultant exams and ethan tells cal he got one mark higher even though ethan actually got higher he just knew cal wouldn’t have checked the marks and he wanted to make him feel better). this is where the golden child scapegoat theory about what happened with their dad breaks down for me because it only really makes sense from cal’s perspective.

cal: “my brother’s a better doctor than i’ll ever be” zoe: “i’m not arguing with you am i” SJSKDKFK

“your brother came in 5 minutes ago saying the exact opposite, how you were gonna be a better doctor than anyone else and how we should support you” they both think the other’s the better doctor THEY LOVE EACH OTHER REALLY AHH PERFECT SIBLING DYNAMIC

ethan doing a happy little dance because he won rock paper scissors🥺🥺

drunk lily trying to kiss ash😬

#classic casualty #valentine’s day mascara #bbc casualty #casualty

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jjheejz · 3 years

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This is an ongoing update about the case from start to development. List of all related posts can be found on this blog's pinned post (link provided at bottom of each post as well).

Updates: Minor details

Originally posted on 17 August 2021

Debunking the Hand

Details everything so it's lengthy. TLDR, skip to starting paragraph first word that's in blue. Still, reading everything gives a broader picture.

Background

In 2019, ZZH went on an acting competition show called: Stand By Me《演员请就位》(link)The competition involves having actors to play certain roles in a short movie (about 30mins) directed by the panel judges cum esteemed Directors.

ZZH was chosen by Director Zhao Wei and he starred in the short movie: Brother《哥》(link) The genre (as provided in link) is tagged: Sibling, relationship, mental illness, brothers

1. [Left image] Look at the timeline the variety show was aired, and then the date the short movie was released, 7 December 2019, is the aired date of the Movie.

2. [Right image] The other main role of the movie: Wilson Wang/王森

The Original Gesture’s Meaning

(Direct links to watch the movie at end of post)

1. Hand raise meaning

Timestamp (from top to bottom, left to right) - 2:11, 01:37

2. “我等你呢” (I waited/wait for you)

Timestamp - 24:31

Original post of the image

The image originally used to refer the pose gesture was this, the part boxed in orange is Zhe Jiang Memorial Hall of Revolutionary Martyrs:

The original post where the image was from on weibo, both left and right are same pictures, different focus points:

Left image focus: Date of post, caption of post, comment on post, and each post picture given a number

Right image focus: The collage pattern

[Left image] Firstly, the date the movie aired was on 7 December 2019, ZZH posted the image 5 days later, on 15 December 2019.

[Left image] Secondly, the caption says "I waited/wait for you". (There is technically no past tense/present tense in Chinese) For international fans, you may compare the movie screenshot above, with the caption boxed in red, and the Chinese words ZZH posted + bottom part of the image: Wilson (王森), the actor who played the older brother in this movie. "我等你呢"

[Left image] Thirdly, the hand raise itself, is in reference to the movie, his older brother. Referencing from above, his older brother (in the movie), raises almost a straight vertical 180 - pic 9, while ZZH's circulated image is lower. Because he was, and could be metaphorically reaching for his brother's hand (see picture above).

[Left image - reference below] I just realised this myself. Lastly, Pattern A: look at the spread of the image in the post. There's a distinct pattern: 3 selfies in the middle (pics 4-6), pics 1 & 3 with his buddy + corresponding inverted triangle pic 8 (no duplicated background or pattern), pics 2, 7, 9 are half body shots, of which 2 out 3 was where the Memorial Hall was.

(duplicated image below for easier reference)

[Right image] Pattern B: The whole image itself looks like ZZH is sitting on the stairs, under a shelter. The center image is like the close up version of the 8th picture.

5-6 different locations, with the right lineage, to create a post with a bigger picture, no coincidence works this way.

Remember that ZZH is a very detailed actor, there is a reason why Ah-Xu was so well liked. That's why from this, it can further amplify he's very detail-oriented, see below for his line of thought in curation:

In that case, if it's planned, why the location then? (Please open up and zoom in to both right and left to see clearly)

Look at pic 2 again, the railings is horizontal, a perfect sense of link for 1 and 3, through his hand. Look at pic 7, there's also the railings, but he stands in the middle, creating a leeway for a 90°, look at pic 9, the angle is taken from a left to right perspective = he needs railings because it is flexible to take straight lines, with a person.

Being on weibo long, and having followed his account over the past 5 months, his curation of photo pattern is prevalent, it usually always has a message (which is why LLD have sweets each time they posted sth, both GJ and ZZH's spreads can create meanings).

What he needed was just the railings, but it happened to coincide with the Memorial Hall, so this could just be an unlucky coincidence that the photo was taken with resemblance of the Nazi hand, and with the Memorial Hall in the background.

Remember, also his Brother reference.

If there are still some, not convinced, allowing room for doubt of purpose, then let the Immoral Media/ Internet Water Army(link) prove to you:

Immoral Media/Internet Water Army's circulation

What the Immoral Media was spreading (just a collage of 6 top few posts that came out from the search results):

Note that none of it had the full spread like the above, no proper context at all.

This was what was in circulation, it was straight up just that one picture compared side by side to the Nazi gesture (ignore the Chinese). See how they conveniently narrowed the scope of issue and cause a fuss?

Conlusion

We have the Internet Water Army/immoral Media (link above) to thank for, for increasing the debunk percentage.

Bonus (not really, just the movie link)

(A warning/PG18: The opening of the scene is on a bed, ZZH is a part of it. But nevertheless it is a very heart-warming short movie, if you need to cry more - it can actually ironically help alleviate, give this a try, it also shows the spectrum of character ZZH can do and his acting skills)

For those who understands Chinese, Youku still has it here.

For those who do not understand Chinese, I’ve english subbed it here. (Please inform me if you have problems accessing it).

*Cultural language note: In English, Sis/Bro is a reference to both older and younger (depending the person), In Chinese, Ge Ge (Guh-Guh) is older brother, Di Di (younger brother), Jie Jie (older sister), Mei Mei (younger sister).

This addressing can be used for non-blood related but close people eg. an older but same position colleague, buddies. Sometimes surname is added, eg. surname of Zhou, “Zhou-Ge” (Older brother Zhou)

Usual usage is usually a single word eg. “Ge!” (older brother), “Di!” (younger brother), when saying in double eg. “Ge Ge”, it usually has a cute annotation

Related posts 🛏️:

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airyairyaucontraire · 2 years

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So I'm watching Camp Cretaceous season 4, and I continue to enjoy this show. I'm partway through episode 6 and have various partially-formed thoughts. Spoilers, except these are all in random order as I think of things so if you haven't watched it you probably can't tell what I'm talking about anyway.

I do not quite understand how Mae got where she is or why she doesn't think it's an incredibly fucking weird set-up from day one. Also, she's Simone from The Good Place! Hi Simone! You sound so much better when you're not doing a very forced Australian accent! What was that about!

She was given a line about having only two cups when we were already shown a shelf in her cave with multiple cups on it (Brooklyn lifts and moves them while searching for hidden communication devices) and I honestly wasn't sure if it was an animation/continuity error or an indication that she wasn't honest/didn't know what on earth was going on. I now tend towards "animation/continuity error."

Why would you serve children cocoa with their sandwiches. Cocoa and sandwiches just don't go together in the obvious way that Mae's "of course" remark implied.

There should have been way more hypothermia and shivering in the Arctic biome. These children are lightly dressed in clothes they chose for a holiday in Costa Rica! Sammy and Ben are in tank/halter tops that leave their whole arms and sizeable scoops of their backs and chests bare! They shouldn't be animated moving around as if they're in a comfortable temperature. When you're that cold you involuntarily hunch over to try to hold some warmth in and you can't prevent yourself shivering (I don't care what Sailor Mars says about standing up straight in season 1 episode 45). (Ironically, that black puffer jacket Sammy had on at the start of season 1 that bugged me so much would come in real handy there.)

The animation continues to sort of go back and forth between relatively stiff movement of human figures (Kash's walk/posture especially looks wooden to me, and my previous problems with nobody moving like they're cold in a very cold environment) and beautifully fluid moments that feel subtly observed; like there's a scene where Yaz and Sammy are trying to take a nap on Mae's bed and finally they're talking about their homes and families and what they miss (it was bugging me that they barely did this in three seasons), and there's this little moment where both of them move their legs as they get comfortable and relax, and it just made them feel very real to me.

Kenji's sudden crush on Brooklynn doesn't really feel like a plausible development, even if it's supposed to be one of those "I didn't realise how strongly I felt until I thought you were going to die" things. On the other hand, his shyness around her now is rather sweet and endearing. Her obliviousness to the fact that he's attracted to her now, eh, it feels a little bit off. He's acting weird enough that Yaz has noticed and tried to act as wingman (and she acted weird enough that Ben noticed and misinterpreted her attempts to get him to come away with her so Kenji could talk to Brooklynn alone as her liking him, which was fortunately cleared up in short order by a kind, clear conversation, well done Ben, even if you were somewhat talking at cross purposes). If Brooklynn's going to end up reciprocating Kenji's feelings it seems like that will only be because she realises how he feels and that, like, magically transforms her feelings instead of her having felt some romantic attraction to him before as opposed to the friendship she's expressed.

They used the "subtle acknowledgement of queer relationships as a normal part of young people's lives" method by having Brooklynn speak in passing about her dads and Kenji expressing no surprise or particular interest in that feature of her anecdote; he was more interested in how she learned to fix electronics.

I would like to see a more direct acknowledgement, eg whatever's going on with Yaz and Sammy could be a thing. I am just saying.

Kenji had a cold for one episode, it was never explained or even questioned how he caught it or who he caught it from (it's not as if they met new people who could have given him germs, other than Mae who wasn't sick), and Brooklynn acted really annoyed with him about it as if he was being slack or something? It was weird. The whole thing was seemingly just so that Kenji would cough at an inopportune moment and alert dinosaurs to his presence. On the other hand his VA did an excellent job of modulating his voice to sound realistically husky/on the verge of coughing, I appreciated that.

Big and Little Edies are precious and deserve only the best. (The closed captions are calling them Big and Little Eatie but I'm pretty sure this is a mistake.) I'm afraid one or both of them will die wretchedly for pathos. It's particularly horrible that Little Edie is so badly wounded because her (normally caring and affectionate) mother was goaded into attacking her.

The BRADs could really have gone further with the uncanny headlessness of the Boston Dynamics BigDog robots they're clearly inspired by, but they're effective in that they're both rather chilling in their appearance, and sufficiently dog-like that you feel bad for them when they get their blocks knocked off or when Kash kicks one into a lake to drown out of mere pique. They are not very sturdy robots, though, if a twig kid like Darius can knock one's head off with a stout stick. At least Kenji (who is pretty well-grown for his age) used a heavy frying pan, like Rapunzel or Tiffany Aching.

I like how the signs of PTSD/acute anxiety/immobilising panic that Yaz is showing don't seem to stem from a specific event, but from the cumulative effect of months of exhaustion and stress and many, many frightening incidents that have combined to wear down her resilience. She's still a wonderfully brave and competent girl but she's hitting her limits and it's not a simple matter of overcoming the fear through self-belief or the encouragement of her friends. I really felt for her tearful admission that she was afraid she would never feel normal again. And she's talked to her friends about what's troubling her and they're sympathetic and supportive but it's still troubling her because of course she can't get a break from everything that makes her feel that way.

Mae calling her "darling" and "love" when she saw she was unhappy was very gentle and sweet.

You know, I think Yaz is probably my favourite character; I was always biased by her sporty ponytail but she continues to be very interesting.

#camp cretaceous #airy watches camp cretaceous

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love-that-we-were-in · 3 years

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i’m thinking about them so here are some brody and the gays headcanons @solli @imogenlefay

Eli C:

deeply average. i mean, he has no particular talents whatsoever. he gets average grades (his best subject is physics) and his fashion sense is pretty standard - t-shirts and jeans and sneakers mostly. he’s just the most average guy you can imagine

he introduced sebastian and elaine to each other because elaine was in desperate need of a roommate (fic coming soon about this bc i miss elastian roommates

his last name is Collins (see: deeply average)

bisexual king

elaine:

rollerblades with dani

majored in gender/women’s studies at louisville probably

has just as big of an ego as seb but is less annoying with it

can’t cook rice

favourite ice cream flavour is vanilla - this becomes a very heated debate during grocery runs

regularly pretends to be peoples fake partner for kicks and minor things in exchange (eg scratchers and an ani defranco tee)

adam:

swiftie

allergic to citrus

has somehow always avoided the fate of being designated driver even though he doesn’t tend to drink

had a 1D phase. idk what to tell you. his ringtone was little things for a long while

introduces brody to the rest bc that makes the most sense. he’s the only who met brody in canon

dani:

will regularly disappear without telling anyone where she’s going

like completely drop of the grid. one time she just left to backpack south america. she came back bc she missed her guitar and was worried they would sell it

drags elliot into a meeting with the rest of the gang bc she accidentally double-booked

makes excellent apple pie & adam loves her for it

chandler:

was barred from visiting sebastian and elaine’s apartment at one point bc he kept breaking things by accident

has a cat in ohio named clive

thinks sebastian is an idiot for not going into performing. no one else actively agrees bc sebastian can pay his bills on time

also had a 1D phase. his favourite song steal your girl bc he was in deep denial

probably liked percy jackson

elliot:

honestly i don’t think i have any??

sebastian:

can’t swim

swiftie (fav album is reputuation bc it’s seb)

maybe just a little bit still obsessed with blaine. but he’s not pining. of course not.

didn’t want anything to do with adam, dani or elliot when he first realised they had been friends/friend adjacent to kurt and rachel. this was 4 months into their friendship

once tried to get elaine to change her name bc it sounds too much like blaine

hates beer

will eat an entire packet of raw cookie dough without blinking

political science major

adhd

brody:

finds it really funny to be the straight friend

gets along well with the group bc sex positivity is important and yes i am bitter about Feud

will argue that the best part of twilight was any part without bella edward and jacob. he wrote a paper on it once

was honestly shocked to find out sebastian was in show choir in high school. just thought he was a nerd

believed eli was straight for like 6 months because he’s so deeply average

got harmony to join the gang bc he missed rachel and she was close enough

bonus Harmony:

got the role rachel turned down in s6 and became good friends with jesse

only thinks sebastian was right i’m not persuing the arts because he’s just as good at poli-sci. however she does still make him rehearse with her when brody is unavailable.

hates kurt

lactose intolerant

has never tasted coffee ever and sometimes switches sebastian and elaine’s out for decaf

i’ll be honest, this post got away from me and now i have to think of elliot headcanons.

#brody and the gays #glee #brody weston #Elaine (glee)#Elliot Gilbert #Dani (glee)#chandler kiehl #sebastian smythe #adam crawford #harmony (glee)#the gerber baby #headcanons #eli c

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voltagesmutter · 3 years

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Mr love Queen’s Choice: Gavin - “Why sit on Santa’s lap when you can sit on mine?”.

Fandom: Mr Love Queen’s choice Pairing: Gavin x MC (F) Prompt: “Why sit on Santa’s lap when you can sit on mine?” - Day 6 from @voltage-vixen christmas list. Warning: Jealousy, drinking, bit of rough birdcop, hand-cuffs. Notes: For my fourth raffle winner @starry-starry-night24 - Thank you for entering.

“Three.”

“Two.”

“One!”

A round of cheers filled the table, four shot glasses clinking on the side of each other as the four girls downed their contents. All of them hissing at the burn of tequila, eyes shutting and teeth gritted.

“Another!” Willow already handing out another round.

“I can’t!” Kiki whined, “I need a break!” She almost gagged at the clear shot in front of her, pushing it away and into the center, she was always the light weight.

“Come on Kiki, we’re celebrating! Work finished for Christmas and thanks to a certain someone, we got a very nice bonus from good old Mr. Li!” Anna throwing a wink to their other friend who blushed in response.

“Shut up you!” She laughed, waving her hand in the air to brush off her comment, “Hard work, determination and teamwork got us that bonus. Now let’s please enjoy it,”.

The four of them swayed to the music of the club in their booth, throwing back shots and drinks like they were water. The lead up to Christmas had been a long and hard road, sleepless nights, endless meetings and a grinch of a CEO ready to cancel Christmas. A night out was more than deserved, Willow taking them to a club some friends had recommended. Only what Willow hadn’t told them, was it this club for some adult entertainment.

“So I heard someone’s been a naughty girl?” A rather handsome man dressed in only a red pair of velvet shorts with a white trimmed fur along the bottom. His eyes scanned the table, all four girls giggling slightly, red faced and blushing. Until they looked with hers, his eyes brows raising and waggling at her. “Looks like I’ve found my bad girl.”

“Me?” Her face was going redder, both from the alcohol and the way he stared at her. Although it was hard to keep focus on his face when his ripped muscles were glinting under the reflection of the light. He was toned, but compared nowhere near as toned as her boyfriend, Gavin. Now he was the definition of a chiselled body.

“Go on girl!” Willow who sat next to her pushed forward as the guy drew up a chair, sitting on it and patting his thigh. The girls have her a few whistles of encouragement as they egged her on, regardless of her protests. A squeal of embarrassment followed by a flood of giggles left her as he pulled her onto his lap, her hands sprawling across his chest to keep balance. Him holding her waist as he playfully ground against her to the beat of the song that began to play. “Say cheese!” Willow called out, snapping a photo of her sat on his lap with her hands on him, flushed face but with a laughing smile. And when Willow posted it to her private moments, forgetting Gavin had been added to it a few months ago, she didn’t realise she had sealed the girls fate for when she got home.

Gavin's amber eyes narrowed as she came home. She was giggling, kicking her kitten heels off at the door. A taxi dropped her off at the door, and he heard the vague calls of equally tipsy Willow and Kiki. Jealousy was not something he liked feeling, but she bought it out so easily. Especially to see her sat upon a stripper’s lap with her eyes sparkling and that oh so innocent blush she always donned.

"Come here."

"Gavin!" She squeaked before giggling a bit. "I didn't know you were going to be home early." She expected his mission to last at least another day.

"I came home early. Now, come here." The sharp command and the alcohol in her system made her shiver, unable to help but obey. Her steps were a bit off--stumbling a tiny bit, but when she was close enough, Gavin pulled her roughly onto his lap. His grasp on her hips made her blood turn hot. "Why sit on Santa's lap when you can sit on mine?" His voice was low. "When you have me here, all to yourself."

“Santa told me I was a naughty girl.” She bit her bottom lip as she messed with his exposed collarbone. - Tight fitted t-shirts were a blessing on this man. “Do you think I’ve been a bad girl officer?” Her voice teasing, struggling to hold back the giggle. She knew how possessive Gavin got when he was jealous, how if she pushed his buttons just enough he would portray all his emotions with his actions. And Gavin roughly fucking her into a passed out bliss was something she definitely needed right now.

“I think you’ve been a very bad girl.” Gavin leaned in to kiss her but swiftly moved, his tongue darting out to lick the shell of her ear. “And bad girls need to be punished.” He accentuated his words by biting her earlobe and giving a sharp slap to her behind making her jolt in hold. Her thighs trembling in anticipation as she fisted his black top.

“Then punish me, officer.” She purred, gasping softly to feel his lips buried against her neck pressing heated kisses over her pulse. The previous love-bites he placed there before he left on his mission had faded, his need to re-mark her urging as his teeth nipped and sucked at her skin. “Gavin!” His name leaving her mouth in a sigh, unable to stop herself grinding against his lap. He’d been gone too long this time, his physical presence being enough to make her panties already be slicked with arousal.

“Did I give you permission to touch me, miss?” Keeping up with his authoritative role. Her grinding stopped but her hands continued to grip his shirt. Lips parting in a silent moan as the white of his teeth continued their trail down to her collarbone.

“Oh, fuck-fuck!” A frustrating cry left her lips, thighs tensing and squeezing Gavin’s to feel his hand pull away once more. “Please!”

Her lips were swollen, although Gavin had still yet to kiss her. Instead taking her bottom lip between his teeth, sucking it, biting it gently before releasing it with a wet pop. Her dress was tossed onto the floor somewhere unknown, her bra discarded with it and her panties hooked off one ankle. Her nipples were pert into the air, soft red marks danced around them making Gavin grin internally, his mark once again was upon her. Wet marks of sloppy kisses lingered over her skin, Gavin ensuring to press his lips against every exposed inch of her body. Although his sternness had grown softer as he pulled her hands up to his mouth, tongue gliding over each finger before kissing her knuckles. As if he was trying to remove where she had touched the Santa stripper, that the only touch on her skin should be his.

“Gavin.. Gavin please!” She whined, tears pooling in her eyes at the sheer ache between her thighs. Her hands bound behind her back in handcuffs, an absolutely mouth watering sight for Gavin.

“How long did the song last?” Her bra unclipped and falling off her shoulders, Gavin leaning down to capture her nipple as he sucked it until it pebbled in his mouth.

“I-I don’t know!” Eye’s shutting as a small moan left her part lips, unable to think straight as two fingers had dipped below her panties and continued their assault on her clit in a tight circling motion.

“Oh I think you do.” His teeth enclosing on the flesh, tugging sharply sending her bucking against his hand. The longer she took to reply, the slower his hand worked her. The wetness ruining the silk between her legs and pressed a spot beginning to puddle onto his trouser leg. “This is punishment shall I remind you.” His nose tracing the contour of her chest, up her neck before gliding over her face and darkly chuckling in her ear, “You seem to be enjoying this too much.”

“Four!” She gasped, his fingers speeding up making her eyes widen. Knowing the punishment would be worse if she refused to tell him. “Four minutes.”

“Four.” A smug grin fell over his face, one that rarely fell on Gavin’s face. He held out her arms to guide her bra off and tossed it away, “Put them behind your back.” He reached into his pocket, pulling out a set of metal cuffs watching as her eyes sparkled at them - she knew when the cuffs came out to brace herself, she was in for a long, rough night. Holding her hands together her back, he slid one hand followed by the other and clicked the metal, securing her hands behind her back.

And four times he edged her.

He made a show to take off his shirt, he worked tirelessly for his body but nothing felt as rewarding as she practically drooled over it. Another frustrated whine and the sound of metal shaking, her hands desperate to feel the thick set of muscles pulsing to be touched. He patted her thigh once as a signal to lift, a new flood of heated wetness rushed between her thighs as he unzipped his trousers enough to let his cock spring free. Deep red it throbbed and twitched, the faintest trail of precum leaking as he was at limit of teasing, the need to be buried deep inside her was too much.

Holding her waist with an iron grip, he lined her over him and buried himself to the hilt inside her as he pulled her down onto his lap. She came instantly as he held her down against him, jaw slacked and an audible moan rolling from the depths within her - a far too close for Gavin’s comfort neighbour would be sure to make a comment about his interrupted sleep during their next encounter in the hallway.

“Good girl,” He whispered a few inches apart from her lips, letting his hands ghost up her sides and leaving goosebumps forming in their wake. Her thighs trembled as her high rolled across her body, Gavin tightening his hold as he began thrusting up, keeping her still. A long string of curses left her mouth as all she could do was let Gavin pound harshly upwards, hitting every spot deep inside her. And for the first time that night he kissed her, a sloppy kiss met with teeth and tongue.

Pure concentration was written over his face, sweat sticking his hair to his forehead and running down his abdomen as his muscles flexed with each thrust up. His relentless pace sent her head first into another release, her head thrown back as she jerked in his hold. Hips spasming as her walls gripped tightly around his cock, threatening to make him spill already. The metal of chains jingled as her hands twisted in what little they could, crescent moons digging into her palms in the desperate attempt to seek something to hold. All shame had left as she roared out, a fat tear followed by another rolling down her cheeks from the overwhelming pleasure within her.

This time Gavin let her ride out her high, shallowly thrusting as she collapsed against his chest. If it had not been for his hold on her waist she would have fell side away, dizzy and disorientated from pleasure.

“Shh, it’s okay, I got you.” Gavin cooed softly, letting her once more slide all the down his length as he held her close. His hands running soothingly up her back, unchaining the cuffs as he pressed feather like kisses to her skin. Soft praises of “you did so well.” and reassuring love was whispered, his voice silky as fleeting kisses pressed to her lips. Her hands and shoulders rolled a few times before she pressed them to his chest, hand pressed flat against his rapid heartbeat.

She looked exhausted, she felt exhausted and for a moment Gavin feared he had gone too far. But his guilt was pushed aside from the lopsided, blissed out smile on her face, chest still heaving as she panted out, “That was… amazing.”

He chuckled softly, brushing her hair out of her face and placing a kiss to her temple. “Let’s get you to bed.”

“Not yet!” She protested, grabbing gently onto his forearm as he went to lift her off him. He was still solid inside her, having indulged in her pleasure instead of his own.

“Baby I-“ Not wanting to push her further than how she was. Her walls already so tightly gripping him, it wouldn’t take much for his release to be found. She shushed him a kiss, using the last remaining strength and energy she could muster to rock in his lap. The chair squeaked, giving away their passion as moans were captured into each other’s mouths.

Gavin had come home from this mission with no new marks or scars, a first, but as he spilled inside her. The throb of his head brought another climax for her, one that sent white bursting across her vision with her whole body trembling. She clawed at his chest, leaving his favourite kind of mark upon him, red angry lines to capture the intensity of their time together. A reminder for days to come of just how good he made her feel.

By the time they had finished, she had passed out asleep in his embrace. Gavin carried her to bed, cleaning her thighs with a blush on his cheeks. A small kiss placed to her forehead as climbed bedside her, her small frame automatically snuggling up against him.

She didn’t need a Santa, when all she wanted was her Gavin.

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mikkaeus · 3 years

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lessons from 1000 hours of tutoring high school kids - a letter to my past self

not all those hours were maths, but this is about maths

Not in order of importance; in the order they came to my head.

1. Do not trust a kid when they say that they understand something. They understand jack shit. Make them explain it back to you.

2. When teaching sth new try to prod them to reaching the conclusion themselves instead of just straight up explaining it, if time permits.

3. Things I have assumed and have been sorely mistaken:

a) If an area is identified to be an issue in the lesson, the kid will go and do some questions and revise themselves to fix it.

b) Kids take notes. (I’m still kicking myself for only realising this more than 6 months in with this kid. I get paid too much to be making stupid mistakes like this.)

c) Kids know how to take notes. (Session 1: Take notes, here is a detailed outline that you can then expand on with examples and stuff. Session 2: The kid has copied my scaffold word for word and not expanded anything on it. Me: You need to actually EXPLAIN how to complete the square for example, not just write “completing the square”. Kid: Okay yeah I get it. Session 3: For each topic he’s googled an explanation and copied entire paragraphs word for word, because he “thought they’d phrase it better than him”. He’s using terminology that I 100% guarantee he does not understand at all. I now understand why high school teachers always said use your own words when making notes - something that I had always thought should be blindingly obvious to everyone.)

4. Not everyone is as obsessed with not making mistakes or not being able to solve problems are you are. (For these kids, being stumped at a difficult question isn’t the end of the world.) They think a question ends at figuring out the answer, whether that be from the help of a textbook, the solutions, their friend, or me. You need to impress upon them that it doesn’t matter what the answer is! It’s about what you learn from the question. How was the way they were thinking about the question incorrect? How can they avoid this in the future? What general advice can they give themselves? And then they need to actually commit to reducing incidences of the same mistake in the future. Some kids I’ve been giving the same damn advice to every problem they get stuck on, and magically they can solve it after I give them the advice. Just remember the general advice!! You’re spending all this time studying but you’re running into the same wall over and over again instead of remembering to take the rope out of your bag. I’m not magic! I’m just sitting here reminding you that there IS a rope in your bag!! (Not that my method of angry scribbling in red pen across my working and writing that I’m a fucking idiot is something I’d actually recommend, but they could definitely afford to be less laissez-faire about learning from their mistakes.)

5. Actually make good notes during the session; otherwise, the kids probably retain nothing. It is kinda awkward to be sitting there writing away but it is a necessarily evil. Also, you can write while they’re chipping away at a question themselves, and that way you don’t need to be watching them like a hawk while they do algebra painfully slowly. (I feel like kids make more mistakes in sessions than they do normally.)

6. The key to being able to solve a problem is believing that you CAN solve the problem. I’ve been saying this a lot recently - if you follow the rules for maths, there’s no reason it should be wrong - when I have Year 11s and 12s asking me every step of simple algebra if something is correct, or asking whether you’re allowed to do something, and I ask them, “what do you think?” and they reply, “I don’t know.” (Related: Another thing I’ve been saying a lot is that algebra is about doing the same thing to both sides. They just think it’s magic!) Anyway, I brought this up because of problem solving questions actually, not basic algebra. Of course, you can teach them how to break down the question, or general processes like “if you don’t have enough information, go back and check you’ve used everything in the question”, but all that’s useless if they don’t believe that they can solve it by themselves. That means

a) You need to actually encourage them. Even though you’re not a... fluffy or particularly inspiring person, just try.

b) YOU need to believe that they can do it too. Think of the number of times you’ve been shocked that some kid managed to make a leap of logic you thought was beyond them. Kids are better than you think (and also worse than you think, but we’ve already talked at length about that).

7. It’s most of the time more beneficial to force the kid to go through the expanded version of the working instead of the abbreviated version. They’re not you, trying to economise as much as possible on working to save precious seconds for rechecking at the end. Don’t push that obsession onto them when their goals and skill level is completely different. Especially if they’re:

a) making silly mistakes

b) not understanding why something works and just following the pattern for a specific context, and then being completely lost in another context. (eg. not being able to use the null factor law for when the factors weren’t linear with a gradient of 1, because they always skipped straight to x= instead of actually writing out each factor equalling zero, and then rearranging).

8. Stop lecturing for too long. Make sure you’re writing stuff down, not only for the purpose of notes for them to look at later, but because not everyone’s good with auditory learning (you’re one of those people! and yet you subject others to the same shit you rant about out length about your professors!). Make them do work through a problem or part of a problem or ask them questions or something.

9. A lot of kids do not know how to study properly. A few important things:

a) Do not automatically look back at past questions when solving a Q. You need to treat every question as completely new, and only look back if you’re stuck. That way you force active recall every question and thus making sure you’re actually remembering what the process is. You don’t get any worked examples in your exam.

b) I do not know how this is every single fucking kid but knowing how to use your dang calculator saves lives!! It’s literally 50% of your grade and you’re sitting there two days before your exam struggling to graph a parabola??? After all the hours you poured into studying the content? Yes your calculators are gross and unfriendly but they’re your best friend. Not only should you know how to use them, you should be fast at using them, and you should know everything it can do that could be remotely helpful.

c) Sit full exam papers under exam conditions. That shit is like gold and kids are piddling it away by just leisurely working through one question at a time with the help of their textbook (and me).

d) Print out the formula sheet, and use it. Know what’s on there and what’s not.

I don’t know if this is a pretty standard experience for people with a track record of excellent academic results* (by this I mean just assuming some things are obvious to everyone) or if I’m particularly bad because I’ve always only interacted with a very narrow range of people. anyway feels fucking bad for my kids but. im trying. god knows ive come a long way since i first started.

*or as I prefer to state it, a track record of being a huge fucking nerd

#writing these reflections always gives me high school ptsd #the visceral fear i got when i didnt know how to solve a question #esp if my friends could solve it since they're all smart as shit #because i *needed* as close to 100% as possible in those exams #sheesh #ramblings

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thedrunkenvixen · 2 years

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6, 14, 22, 31, 42, 55, 64, 78, 88, 92

6. Where’s the most unusual place you’ve had sex?

Oooof this is mean and you know it 😂 I think either the parking lot we broke into or my friends bathroom floor 😅

14. How and when did you realise you weren’t straight?

While I’ve always found everyone attractive, I didn’t really click until like 2 years ago when I developed crush on my friend 🙈

22. What’s the raddest part of your bod, and why?

I like my eyes because I can use them to get what I want (usually 😅) and my tits because welll….tits 😂

31. Describe your most unusual/taboo fantasy.

Hmmm I don’t have many taboo ones. It’s a bit tame when I fantasize 😅😂

42. What’s your most unusual kink?

I mean I guess non tumblr people would consider things like being slapped in the face unusual but yeah, stuff like that 🙈

55. How sensitive are your nipples? Does nipple play turn you on?

If I’m turned on they can be VERY sensitive. With the right person yessss. If I’m not turned on then eh not reallllyyy

64. Do you find it easier to give oral to someone with the same genital configuration as you (eg., you both own vaginas/both own penises), or different?

I’ve only been with one girl so it’s hard to say! But I guess I find it easy either way? I enjoy doing both 😁

78. Do you own any buttplugs?

Sadly I do notttt. Not huge into anal stuff but I would like a cute one one day 🥺

88. Have you ever teamed up with someone and given a double blowjob/double cunnilingus?

I have not but it would be funnnn 😈

92. Post a naked selfie.

Ehehehe nice try. I’ll send you one 😉😛😂

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editorialsonlife · 3 years

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Welp, this week has been an exhausted, overthinking, crying mess, culminating in crying in the shower this morning and phoning off work for the day coz I actually couldn't face having to deal with people. The need to just have eight hours to not need to be anything to anyone was strong and I'm so glad I took the day off.

The annoying thing is there hasn't really been any major trigger. Its just been a stupid combo of things that have all kicked in and like, eg. On so many fronts. Just realised I haven't even recapped the wedding yet, oops. Need to do that. My bad.

I guess the wedding is a good place to start because work was freaking hectic when I went on leave, and its not like any work got done while I was away so came back to the same amount of work plus a weeks worth of revisions and edits which was tough. The wedding itself, like all weddings, was ridiculously social and we were both so peopled out by the end of it man. We had a great week on Waiheke away just the two of us and genuinely felt like maybe the suckballsness of 2019 and 2020 might be almost behind us at that point. HA HA HA HA HA YOU OPTIMISTIC CREATURES YOU.

Both of us walked back into jobs which no one had done anything, I walked back into a particularly argumentative coworker (who is about to become the boss but that's a whole separate issue) and then we spent the weekend over the hill in martinborough for a friend's wedding which was organised in three weeks because we found out she has terminal cancer and has been given 6 months to live. So the emotional rollercoaster just freaking continued because that was so bittersweet and hard to watch and she is so unwell.

In addition, we agreed to stay with a couple of friends (married) who were going through mad drama. I'll honestly be surprised if they're still together by the end of the year. But on top of dealing with the wedding friends and that heartbreak, we were then dealing with these friends and it literally became a weekend of couples counselling and trying to look after them. straight back into another manic week at work trying to pull together this workshop which happened on Monday. So hectic. I am not a professional facilitator and while i can do an ok job, I still was dealing with the messiness of getting through the wedding and I have event organising fatigue following that one and just.... argumentative coworker was being an absolute dick about things that was just unnecessary.

We had a weekend at home not seeing anyone or with any plans which was great. Larissa came over and we've booked a girls weekend in Nelson for August which will be fab but she's going through a whole flatting sitch which is nightmarish, super glad she's moving out on Sunday so that was a lot of emotional labour for her. On Friday night we went to Jess and Rob's because their house is finally finished and they moved in and we got into a bunch of discussion about their wedding which is still too soon for my liking but at least she respected not dealing with it during mine so thats a bonus.

Then Monday was a 5am start to actually run this workshop which was just a freaking nightmare. Govt clients are such. hard. work. and this group was a lot to deal with. plus argumentative coworker. I don't think I slept more than four hours any night this week.

it's just been such a busy freaking month, and there's been so much on. Oh yeah. Lynaire moved away in the middle of all of this, Erin leaves in three weeks. I just want a week with no major life changes happening, honestly.

And this week? has just been such hard work mentally. I'm so tired, I'm not feeling at all resilient, and my brain has helpfully spent the week adding up all the different ways I am not good enough or not measuring up and everything I've done wrong and all the ways in which I am inadequate. So that's just been a real good time overall. hence crying in the shower at half past six this morning.

It's been a good day though. I read a book in bed til it warmed up a bit. Went for a good walk down to the river and back. Went and got lunch and watched some gilmore girls and tidied my room and cleaned it and remade the bed with all our winter bedding (thank you 0 degree mornings) and tidied the house and did all the dishes etc. It was very nice not to have to be anything to anyone for a while and just stay home.

There's just so many things in life I just can't even face dealing with right now that I need to. So much stuff that I was like, after the wedding! and now we're here and the pile is huge and overwhelming and I don't know where to start. I need to find a good routine again and get back into looking after myself again. I had hoped I was done with the day to day levels of self management I was doing when I was obnoxiously anxious but I guess the answer to that was a big fat nope. Which sucks but anyway. here we are.

Famous last words, hopefully life will be a bit more chill after this weekend and I can at least get back to yoga once a week again. god I miss it. I need to figure out how to exist in my body again for a while and shut my brain off. I also signed up for yin yoga this weekend with an old yoga teacher who I love so hopefully thats lovely and lush and restorative with any luck.

God I'm exhausted. I feel like I need a break, like I didn't just have a whole week off less than a month ago. Goodness knows it doesn't feel like I did though.

Anyway, that's the friday night update for you. #life man. She's been a lot lately.

When I get the wedding photos back I'll try and do a decent recap.

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tempestuous-cosplay · 3 years

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just cuz

Ask me these probing NSFW questions ‘cuz I’m bored

SEXYTIMES EXPERIENCES

1. How many people have you had sex with?

13? somewhere around there.

2. Can you remember the names of everyone you’ve slept with?

if I try hard enough, yeah, but off the cuff, no

3. With whom did you first do the sexytimes? Was it good?

My first Bf, and hahahaha no. Not at all.

4. What’s the best sex you’ve ever had?

a close friend and i took MDMA and fucked for, like, 4 hours and it was lovely.

5. What’s the worst sex you’ve ever had?

this guy i banged in collage who was just bony, small, boring, and ignored me after.

6. Where’s the most unusual place you’ve had sex?

In a tent? Or the time in a church.

7. Where’s the most unusual place you’ve masturbated?

I don't have any fun or interesting stories about that.

8. Have you ever been caught doing the sexytimes?

NOPE

9. If you masturbate, when did you start, and how?

around middle school or early highschool but it was very rare bc i didn't get much from it. But the first time I actually orgasmed was when I hit 22 and got on T. then jacking it became a regular thing.

10. Have you ever been caught masturbating?

My dad walked in right before I was about to get started. that was the worst.

QUEER SHIT

11. How would you describe your sexuality using only adjectives (describing words–busy, fluffy, squishy, etc.)?

weird and complicated but friendly

12. Have you ever been in a queer relationship?

a solid 95% of my relationships have been queer. Only 1 wasn't.

13. Have you ever been in a straight relationship?

Just one. Gross

14. How and when did you realise you weren’t straight?

the moment i knew it was something that was possible. so very early.

15. Are you out to everyone you know?

p much

16. Where do you meet queer folks to date? Do you find it difficult?

I don't really date. But I made my friends through cosplay and then by meeting their friends and it just keeps going.

17. If your parents know about your sexuality, how did they react?

They always knew. I never really "Came out". I have p chill parents

18. Does your best friend know about your sexuality? How did they react?

Duh. I've slept with a number of them.

19. Describe your first queer kiss.

Much better than my first straight kiss.

20. What’s the queerest shit you’ve ever done?

My queer platonic partner :3

LET’S GET PHYSICAL

21. Are you happy with your body?

happier than i was and on my way to making it exactly how I want. Tho i do wish I was taller.

22. What’s the raddest part of your bod, and why?

my eyes are very pretty

23. What do you do with your body hair (pubes, underarms, legs, etc.)?

I don't do jack shit. Im lazy

24. Do you have stretch marks? Where?

Some where my tits used to be, inner thighs, and my love handles.

25. Describe your nipples in too much detail.

theyre kinda lopsided bc of how they were reattached during top surgery. the right one is super sensitive to touch and its kinda painful bc NERVE DAMAGE and the left one is totally numb

26. (Vagina-owners) Do you have an “innie” (small, tucked-in inner labia), or an “outie” (more visible/larger inner labia)?

supper innie. I, like, don't have an inner labia at all. Its WEIRD

27. (Vagina-owners) Is it very obvious when you’re turned on (swelling, wetness etc.)?

Yeah bc my clit is HUGE now thanks to T. It gets HARD

28. (Penis-owners) Describe the size and shape of your penis. Are you happy with it?

its, like, an inch an a half long and really small :3. I like it

29. (Penis-owners) Have you tasted your own cum? Did you like it?

Yeah, its kinda tart

30. (Breast-owners) How does the size of your breasts compare? Is one bigger than the other?

Back when I had them, the left one was a lil bigger than the right one, but i had huge badonkers. Just MASSIVE. They were nearly perfect, but they were on me, so it was horrible.

SEXUAL FANTASY LAND

31. Describe your most unusual/taboo fantasy.

consensual non-consent in fiction. I don;t think i could do it IRL.

32. Do you fantasise more about real situations, or imaginary/impossible ones?

It fluxuates, but mostly its very fantasy.

33. Who’s the oddest person you’ve fantasised about?

The Devil from The Arcana

34. Do you ever find yourself fantasising absent-mindedly, or is it something you do on purpose?

it fluxtuates, but horny daydreams are common

35. Do you always fantasise while you masturbate?

sometimes, yeah

36. When you fantasise, does it usually lead to masturbation?

it actually doesn't more than it does.

37. Have you ever had sex with someone while fantasising about someone else?

nah

38. Do you have any celebrity crushes that you fantasise about?

Hozier has had more than one sex dream in my head.

39. Have you ever fantasised about something by accident, and felt weird about it after?

oh sure. thats p normal.

40. Describe your most sexy fantasy.

hah, no. THats too much to type.

KINKTOWN USA

41. How do you feel about BDSM?

im fine with it

42. What’s your most unusual kink?

probably being a living sex doll

43. In an SM context, do you prefer giving pain, or receiving it?

Im not the biggest fan of either but I would rather receiving bc im too scared of accidentally really hurting someone

44. Do you consider yourself to be dominant, submissive, both, or neither?

Im a sub leaning switch.

45. Describe your most recent bondage experience.

got tied up in cosplay for a photoshoot.

46. In a BDSM context, have you ever referred to anyone as “daddy,” “mommy,” or any similar term?

nope but i've been called daddy

47. Do you have a kink for any bodily fluids (pee, saliva, blood, tears, cum, etc.)?

cum, blood, and spit to a small degree.

48. Have you ever revealed a kink to someone and had them react negatively?

not yet tbh.

49. Do you have any kinks that you’re ashamed of?

nah, not really

50. How much money have you spent on equipment for your kinks (toys, whips, chains, etc.)?

OOF!!! A good several hundred dollars. Like...... its a fairly high number.

COME FOR THE QUESTIONS, STAY FOR THE SUBHEADINGS

51. (Vagina-owners) Do you ever squirt when you come?

I have a few times!!

52. Have you ever come solely from penetration (anal or vaginal)?

no, that I haven't managed.

53. Can you have an orgasm without your genitals being touched?

HAH I WISH but no

54. Describe how you like your genitals to be touched.

Nice slow strokes on my clit like a dick with some gentle rubbing on the lips.

55. How sensitive are your nipples? Does nipple play turn you on?

One is numb and one is very painful. So no.

56. Do you find it easier to orgasm with another person, or through masturbation?

Jacking it. I almost never cum with a partner. Sex is more for bonding than personal pleasure tbh.

57. Have you ever had an orgasm that you weren’t expecting?

A few times, yeah!!

58. Do you get off easier from rough contact, or gentle?

rough ish??

59. What’s the best orgasm you’ve ever had?

the few times ive squirted.

60. Did it take you a while to have your first orgasm, or were you an early starter?

took until i was 22

ORAL FIXATION

61. Do you enjoy giving oral sex? Why?

YES!! Its a good mouth feel.

62. What’s your favourite position in which to receive oral?

not sure yet.

63. Describe your oral sex technique.

suck and wiggle. suck and wiggle

64. Do you find it easier to give oral to someone with the same genital configuration as you (eg., you both own vaginas/both own penises), or different?

theyre about the same amount of effort for me.

65. Describe the worst oral sex you’ve ever received.

too much teeth.

66. Describe the best oral sex you’ve ever received.

I was..... on some drug or another, can't remember what, and bro, i mELTED

67. Do you ever simulate oral sex while masturbating (sucking on dildos etc.)?

rarely but sometimes

68. How sensitive is your mouth? Is it an erogenous zone, for you?

not much? but its fine

69. Do you like 69ing?

never tried, not super interested

70. Can you deep-throat?

anything smaller than 6" yeah.

EVERYTHING BUTT

71. Do you like it in the butt?

yeah but it takes a lot for me to be willing to do it.

72. What’s the strangest object you’ve had in your butt?

a phallic shaped kite handle (I was young and stupid)

73. Do you enjoy being rimmed?

sure

74. Can you take a lot in your butt, or just a little?

just a lil

75. Describe your most recent experience with buttsex.

I was, again, on drugs a little under a year ago and let my best friend pop that particular cherry.

76. Do you like doing stuff to other people’s butts?

im indifferent leaning on rather not.

77. (Prostate-owners) Have you ever received a prostate massage?

nope

78. Do you own any buttplugs?

nope

79. Have you ever had an embarrassing buttsex experience?

not yet, hopefully never

80. Have you ever pegged someone (ie., worn a strapon and fucked them in the butt)?

not yet

SHARING IS CARING

All questions assume you’ve done group sex of some kind

81. Describe your most recent group sex experience.

got one coming up in about a week? but an orgy at a furry convention.

82. Have you ever had sex with more than two people at once (eg., foursome, moresome)?

sure have

83. Have you ever had an orgy? Would you?

yup, and YUP!!!

84. Do you enjoy watching your partner(s) having sex with others?

ehehehe yeh

85. Do you prefer to arrange group sex beforehand, or allow it to happen organically?

both are fine!

86. Have you ever felt left out during group sex?

nah, im too sexy for that

87. Have you ever done a gangbang (ie., lots of people have sex with one person, but not each other)?

not yet but i WANNA

88. Have you ever teamed up with someone and given a double blowjob/double cunnilingus?

not yet :O,,,, WAIT!!! YEAH I HAVE!!!!

89. Have you ever been penetrated by more than one person at the same time?

not yet but god I wanna

90. Have you ever been ejaculated on by more than one person at the same time?

not yet

**BONUS DARES**

100. Send me $500.

#red talks #wanna know way too much about me?

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curly-bangtan · 5 years

Text

Drabble Prompts Game

Hi, so I really want more interactions with my readers and since I only ever write long ass fics, I’ve decided to do this drabble game.

You can request any number(s) with any member(s), or member from a specific fic (eg. Heatwave!taehyung, blizzard!jungkook, ADOH!namjoon etc). You can also specify if you want it to be smut/fluffy and also give a specific scene/setting/plot if you have an idea, but bare in mind that these will be short, like 2k max. :)

[Drabble Masterlist] [Masterlist]

#1: “if you hate me, then why are you hard?”

#2: “just keep sucking.”

#3: “why is it twitching so much?”

#4: “send nudes.”

#5: “stop giving me those eyes.”

#6: “baby, I’m not going to last if you keep doing that.”

#7: “no, don’t take it off. keep it on.”

#8: “fuck, it got in my eye.”

#9: “what was that sound coming from your room last night?”

#10: “seriously? you want me to wear this?”

#11: “can you stop blatantly staring at my boobs like that?”

#12: “how can you expect me not to get a boner if you _______?”

#13: “why are you crying?”

#14: “aw, baby, let me kiss it better.”

#15: “you’re so annoying and needy... fine just come over here.”

#16: “fuck you, this hickey is massive!”

#17: “b-but they’re right there...”

#18: “shhh- quiet, or they’re gonna hear.”

#19: “just shut up and kiss me.”

#20: “let me guess, you’re horny again.”

#21: “can’t you stop gaming for one second and give me attention?”

#22: “are you mad at me? you’re definitely mad at me, aren’t you?”

#23: “seriously? right in front of my cereal?”

#24: “don’t tell me you’re actually into _______..?”

#25: “did you really just wake me up because of this?”

#26: “I didn’t know ‘watching a movie’ was code for _______.”

#27: “why are you staring at me like that?”

#28: “where does it hurt?”

#29: “look at me.”

#30: “you’re secretly so soft, don’t even deny it.”

#31: “i love your cheeks.”

#32: “do that again and I’ll lose my mind.”

#33: “let me kiss your pouty lips.”

#34: “okay that’s it, you’re definitely my soulmate.”

#35: “you broke me.”

#36: “I don’t think you realise how beautiful you look when you _______.”

#37: “don’t lie, you love me.”

#38: “if I have to hear you go on about _______ again, I’m gonna shoot myself.”

#39: “that’s not fair, you know that’s my weakness.”

#40: “you’re a motherfucking train wreck but you’re my motherfucking train wreck.”

#41: “I was a goner the first time you smiled at me, you know that right?”

#42: “you’re my favourite ice cream flavour.”

#43: “I know you’re getting off on the thought of my ass...”

#44: “I don’t deserve you.”

#45: “I did something crazy today... like bad crazy...”

#46: “I can’t think straight when you walk around in that.”

#47: “do you want me to beat him up for you?”

#48: “god, you’re so hot when you’re mad.”

#49: “one second you’re looking all baby, the next you’re telling me how much you want to fuck me. which one is it?”

#50: “nothing sounds sweeter than when you moan my name like that.”

WHEWWWW that took me a while to come up lol. Also, sorry if I don’t get to every request.

@taexxxiiaa my lil muffin try not to spam me with requests ily 😘

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dwindlingashesburnt · 4 years

Text

This is for Nonbinary November, I'll reblog this post with a link to the person who came up with this ask game and with a link to the blog I mention in a later question

1) Which labels do you use? I use nonbinary, trans, agender. I also use aroace but that's not really relevant to this month!

2) What are your pronouns? Honestly who knows. I use they/them, I MAY be interested in xe/xem but I don't know yet because I haven't been able to convince anyone to use those pronouns for me when I'm fine with they/them - it's possible the first time I heard someone refer to me as "xe" I'd realise I hate it. Or, realise I love it. Anyway rn I use they/them

3) How old were you when you came out to yourself as nonbinary? 15 or 16? I think 16

4) What's one thing you'd like to tell your younger self? hey I know you don't think you like yourself rn but I promise that's not true, you're okay, and when you figure out the real reason you're uncomfortable everything will make so much more sense. You'll be okay, there's nothing wrong with the situation or with you

5) is there a myth about nonbinary people that annoys you the most? Okay. As an agender person I would be part of the party benefiting from this I guess, but a lot of people seem to assume that there's only three genders: male, female, and agender. And that nonbinary is just a synonym for agender. This is obviously incorrect and even though I'm kind of mildly, guiltily glad that I'm not among the nonbinary people omitted by this assumption, it still pisses me off immensely because it's so dumb and it's just further bigotry and bullshit. Luckily this is one myth that seems to be almost entirely due to lack of knowledge rather than actual malicious intent!

6) is there a nonbinary celebrity you look up to? Nope, celebrities don't exist as far as I'm concerned.

7) if you're out, how did you come out? I'm out to my friends - I came out via a rambling, thinking aloud monologue to one friend then to all of them in a more coherent but still rambling announcement during a chat. I am also out to two of my family members but I honest to goodness can't remember how I came out - I do remember one hysterical conversation with my dad in which I was irrationally convinced he wouldn't love me anymore if I changed my name; I hope to fuck that's not how I came out to my dad and brother

8) is there a gender-related pun you like? Nah. I like all the misplaced my gender and traded my gender for x jokes though

9) Do you have friends who identify as nonbinary, too? Nope! Most of my friends are cis, a minority are binary trans people. I wish I had fellow enby friends

10) Do you have a favourite lgbt+ character? Are we talking canon or fanon? I love Crowley and Aziraphale because we can dump a whole lot of lgbt+ stuff on them: aro and or ace, gay, bi/pan, male, trans, nonbinary/genderweird....I also like some takes on nonbinary Beezlebub, but only some. Specifically the ones where they're not particularly evil/malicious but are most definitely a dick, because that feels very humanizing somehow which is nice.

11) Lgbt, lgbt+, lgbtqa+...which one do you tend to use? The last one, though if I'm tired and I've already used that once in convo I'll use lgbt after because it's less effort to say/type and they know what I mean

12) how do you explain the term "nonbinary" to people who have no idea what it means? Badly! With a lot of "um" and "uh" and eventually saying "well it's when you're not 100% male OR 100% female only"

13) Tell us a fun fact about yourself! (Gender-related or random) I used to be able to understand French and German pretty well but lost this a few years after leaving primary school

14) How did you find your name? I found my name several years before I even realised I was nonbinary. I was using a baby names website to look at potential names for a story I wanted to write, and was looking at unisex names "because it's more convenient cos then I don't need to change it if the character's a girl or a boy". Sure mate, sure, whatever you need to tell yourself

15) If you're in a relationship...? N/A

16) Do you prefer partner, datemate, significant other, something else? I like all of those? SO is a bit long to say though and datemate feels very playful, I think I'd say that to tease my partner if I had one but not seriously. So. Partner

17) A piece of advice for questioning kids? If you're really stuck, start in very broad categories and look at what you're NOT, then gradually close in on what you are. Like, do you identify as male? Do you identify as female? Work from there in more detail eg if your answer to female is "no" and male is "wobbly hand gesture" then you can either say hey, good enough, or start looking at smaller labels and stuff

18) Which flag(s) do you use? To be honest I mostly just use the aro flag, on the basis that being ace doesn't feel that big a part of my identity, being agender feels like too much of a given to celebrate/take pride in, but the aromantic flag is very pretty

19) Any tips for bad days? Take care of yourself, fall back on your support network, see if there's any small thing you can do that will help boost your confidence

20) Do you have a favorite nonbinary blog on tumblr? Not sure if it counts but I love the corvidwritingprompts blog because the prompts are inspiring and hilarious, and I love the normalisation of neopronouns and nonbinary people

21) Feminine, masculine, androgynous...or none of those things? I'm comfortable with long-ish hair but tend to aim at more masculine-androgynous clothing to try and balance out any chance of people happily assuming I'm a woman. I love button-ups

22) What are your three favourite things about yourself? I have very nice, straight shoulder length hair which I love because it's pretty, I personally think it's pretty androgynous, and I don't really have to do anything to make it look good. I like that I'm a person who likes making things and doing things to show people I like them. I like that I'm a pretty fucking average height, it's much nicer than when I was tallest in my year, and I am also generally happy with my height it's good

#nonbinary #nonbinary november #agender #ask game #person #my own posts

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into-control · 4 years

Note

1- Okay so i do agree with what that anon said with it being planned in 2017. And I’ve been thinking about a plausible explanation for their relationship if it was real. So if we go by what C said about SSI she would have had to have told him how she felt in 2017 & S said he wasn’t ready for whatever reason he gave something about not being mature enough lol despite liking her all this time.

2- So then she dates Matthew, they go back & fourth about doing the song together for 8-12 months because every time he said more months. Then they do the song he tells her how he feels it would have to be in June since her & Matt broke up in the middle of June & then according to him they start officially dating on the Fourth of July

3-Now for the holes. if C did say how she felt in 2017 & he said he wasn’t ready, he then starts hanging out with Hailey & first sign of that is October 2017 because they tweeted the same thing & seen out for dinner so they’ve been hanging out before that you assume. So once again despite not being ready for C he’s hanging out with another person. You could argue that it took that relationship to make it clear to him he wants C but it’s more likely Hailey left him cause she wanted JB.

4-He also said in an interview he’s not actively looking to date anyone & if it happened it happens & it would be the same if he was just living at home in Pickering. Then he puts out an album that is about Hailey it’s obvious except for a couple of songs that scream C, which is weird because why now. Also i remember something about why being the last added to the album. Maybe to show that he realised what he’s missing but that might not even be true

5- Then flash forward to 2019 there’s already rumours of them together before C breaks up with Matt, then they do break up and she’s straight with Shawn after about 2-3 weeks. Pretty quick for somebody who went on holiday with him end of May ish and said she was the happiest she’s ever been in her life. Then there’s Romance which she says was finished in May and about Matt. She may have made a mistake and slipped up or was being sneaky.

-6 is the same as 5-

7- Then obviously the album has to be about Shawn so she finishes the album in October. Which imo isn’t possible not with the her travelling everywhere to see him on tour and also just physical copies of the CD and booklets. I’m guessing my oh my was recorded in the last few months which is technically why they can say it’s finished in October. But we have proof that songs like BKOB was done before they got together.

8- A song where she’s saying sorry Matt i love Shawn so unless she knew she was going to be having this conversation with him in June it was planned ahead because of Shawn had told her how he felt earlier she would have broken up with Matt earlier lol it’s simple. Also because C did an album in 2018 and 2019 some songs were probably ones she’s already written or at least started. We know this as well from tweets and everything for eg DOY.

9- I just don’t think C wrote and recorded a whole album since June and released it in December as i said we have proof songs were done way before that. The only ones maybe are UTT which is hard to determine when it was finished because they say July which could be true because the song was probably majority done in April when it was started so she threw in the pr into.

10 - Then SSI and FIT she could have wrote this after the got together and quickly put them on the album but it would have been before the end of July I’m assuming. That would give 4 months for the production of the CD and booklet. Idk how long they take but I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be 2 months just because if anything goes wrong. She’s talented enough to write 2 songs in a week though so maybe she did and got rid of some other songs for the pr songs.

11 is missing :(

12- And well now it’ll be his album which will probably be all i finally got the girl, i can’t believe i waited so long, took you to be with someone else for me to realise it was her type of thing. Then hopefully a break up. So there is a narrative that could be true if you wanna believe they’re actually together and not pay attention to the holes and inconsistencies. And a fan fiction lol

13- Sorry this is so long I was thinking about it & talked with an S fan who thinks it’s fake mainly because he would have written his album when with hailey since his album came out in 2018 and they were last seen at the met gala 2018 but anyway we found a way it could be true but as i said there’s holes lol. As that other anon said it’s useless trying to make sense of lies. Also there’s so much more to add and some could be wrong i know i just don’t wanna spam into even though i have sorry!

————

#ask #anon

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jddoesc25k · 4 years

Text

Week 6 Run 1

Tuesday. OMG! I can’t believe we’re on week six!

We are still VERY tired from our 20 minute run on Sunday, muscles aching and the lot! But I had an animal crossing party to attend after my duties for the day, so we had to hop to it!

Today was 5min run, 3m walk, 8min run, 3m walk, 5min run. I wasn’t too worried after last week, we felt prepared to do these runs.

We were at quite a brisk pace today on our warm up, and when we set off, headphones in, we found the 5m was quite quickly over. Apart from some socially close teenagers, we didn’t have much trouble. We seemed to be going a little further than usual, and worried we might have been a bit too quick on our first run. We recovered quickly and continued chatting, then began our 8mins.

Sarah was soon saying we were half way, and our worst concern was navigating every dog walker, runner and couple in Worksop, all who seemed to be on Gateford estate! We won’t be out at this time again! Way too busy!

We did a bit of off-pavement running on the grass and as we ended the 2nd run I was starting to feel a bit tired. Pat told me I was running quite quickly, so I think I need to find more mellow tunes to run to!

The next run seemed to come around quite quickly, and although my breathing was okay, my legs were burning a lot as we started up the incline that is usually our finishing point. This was a very odd feeling and it made it very hard to keep on going for another 3 minutes when we we normally were just finishing our run, not starting it! Those last few minutes were agonisingly slow, but we kept putting one foot in from of the other.

We finished our run being egged on by a fellow jogger, which was great! 🥰 We continued to our 5minute warm down and finished nearly exactly outside our front door! I checked and on Sunday we did 2.7km in the solid 20m but today we 3.2km in 24m with breaks, so we are keeping an even pace.

We were so close to home, and I was rushing for a bath before the party so we forgot our sweaty selfie! Silly old us!

Two of my friends and family have told me that because of our success on c25k, they have started/are about to start running, which is great! I really hope they find the sense of achievement we have!

Week 6 Run 2

Friday...after saying “maybe later.....” 3 times since Thursday morning and calling off our run because of the rain, we bit the bullet and went for it.

Today was a 10minute run, 3min break, then another 10m run. The rain was definitely falling but it wasn’t too heavy. The problem was we went for a run just after having a meal - won’t make that mistake again! We both had gurgling tummies most of the way round.

It was a little tough getting going, and nearly as soon as we started I was out of breath and Pat’s legs were hurting! (I blame the food!) Sarah told us we were halfway through the first run, and I was very grateful we were nearly there. Around that time my legs started to burn but my breathing was easier. One stops, the other starts, typical! No reprieve haha! Despite the difficulty, we both recovered quickly in between our runs and when we started again I think my music helped my mind wander a little and not focus on the running too much “just 2 more songs to go Jordan! You can do it!”.

As we got part way through the second run I realised I was beginning to feel a bit of muscle ache in my thighs which I haven’t really felt before, only my calves. Pat thinks this means we’re opening our strides up a little more, although I did feel like I was shuffling the whole way round! 😂

Pat must be right though as it we have made good progress - we did about 3k over the 23mins which isn’t a bad time.

We basically finished our walk at our doorstep again, so we forgot to take a sweaty selfie again! We’re going to have to add some distance to our run so we remember!

We’ve got a 25 min run on Sunday, so we’re going to try and take what we have learned and throw it into that! STRETCH!! Water, but no food right before! Don’t forget to pace yourself!

Week 6 Run 3

I still can’t believe we’ve been doing this for 8 weeks guys!!

I had a late night last night, so I got up just after twelve (and missed buying turnips on Animal Crossing! Damn!) and had a day of mooching about on the sofa, watching tv and playing games with Pat. We said we’d go for a run later, when we knew it wouldn’t be busy outside. We had tea and said we’ll go in a bit when our food had gone down. We promptly forgot about our run.

So, at 22:20, we set off! And in our rush to get out before midnight, we forgot to stretch! We looked a bit of a sight doing lunges and stretching our legs on the warm up walk. 😂

Today it was a 25 minute run. While I wasn’t looking forward to it and I knew it wouldn’t be a walk in the park (😉), I also felt like we had it in us to do 25minutes. We did 10x2 the other day and 20 last week so I thought: we can do this!

This first five minutes seemed to go relatively quickly. I kept a good pace and was pleasantly surprised when Sarah M started talking at the 5m mark as my breathing was fine and my legs weren’t too upset. However, the next 7.5mins, getting to half way (12.5min) through the run, were very long!

We were on a very very slight hill, but I always feel it in my calves, not as much as usual today, but it was still a little burn-y. The next section (to the 12.5 mins) seemed to take forever! I had started to get a stitch - I think we ran too quickly after eating again 🙈 - so I was breathing deeply to try and take it off, which messed up my running rhythm. After that, about halfway, I purposefully slowed down a little to try and get back on track. Pat did really great all through this - he kept an even pace and didn’t struggle. 🎉

Soon we were at halfway, and we were starting the long straight climb that we always used to end on. The gentle incline was fine, both Pat and I were much better with this than usual. Other than an excess of sweat because the weather was so close we were doing well, breathing evenly, legs doing okay too. As you come to end of this stretch the road banks upwards and we always slow down and it kills your calves because you’re already tired, but we both kept up a ~slower~ but regular pace rather than dragging ourselves up the “hill” as usual. I did have a small stumble here, but I’m blaming that on the street lights being out. 😂

Sarah M. told us we had 5 minutes to go, where had that time gone?? Great! We had just crested the hill where we normally finish running and turned up another hill! Luckily, this was was really nice and gentle and we kept on going. “I am Moana” came on my headphones and Moana and her grandma sung encouragement to me until just after Sarah said “One minute left”. I went for it (a fast jog!) and really ended the run on a breathless high! It was “Run-derful”!😂😂

We are really proud of ourselves! The point of C25k is to run for 30mins, and we just did 25! We both felt we had a little bit more left if we had needed it, so it’s somehow actually become an achievable goal!! Crazy!

We ran about 3.15km in the 25m which is a little slower than we did the other day, but I’m happy with that! I think it’s the longest time I’ve ever run in my life!

Don’t worry, we added a bit on the end of our run so we remembered our sweaty selfie this time!

Peace out ✌️ (Lol!)

🦄💖JD🏃‍♀️🤯

#c25k #c25ktraining #couch25k #ouchmylegs #runrunrun #week6run1 #w6r1 #week6run2 #w6r2 #week6run3 #w6r3 #justonesweatyselfie #sweatyselfie #redface #rain#nightrun

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