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lovemeclowndaddy-blog · 7 years

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Yelling matches ( Pennywise x reader)

Prompt: Can you please do a penny x reader where the reader is penny's gf but lately he's been going through a phase of obsessing and only abducting young/teenage girls? the reader can be a teen too if you're comfortable with it! and it just leads to a lot of insecurity and jealousy and angst and maybe some makeup smut?? it's rly up to you, but i like the plot! if you're not comfortable with writing about underage readers, then maybe they argue about why he's so interested in young girls?? idk idk but!!

requester : @murphysconnors

Warning: Smut (first-time plzz i know its bad)

Here is my first completed request! I actually had so much fun with this, and it got my creative juices flowing! If any of you guys want to request anything, my box is open if you guys want to request anything else! This is my first go at Pennywise smut, so I hope it isn't too bad, and I hope you guys enjoy!!

You paced back and forth in front of your desk, your thoughts going a hundred miles per hour as you felt your chest tighten uncomfortably with each step you room. Today, the children long were gone and lots of paperwork awaiting you, you felt as if you needed to do something about this large onslaught of feelings and thoughts before they consumed you completely.

You just had to be overthinking the disappearances, the disappearances of these girls that used to sit in the desks in front of you as you taught them their two times tables. Their innocent smiles were haunting the back of your eyelids, the obvious staring you right in the face but you were too ignorant to believe that it could be true.

Step, step, step, and turn. Repeat, repeat, repeat!

It had been going on for about a month now, nearly reaching it's two as it reached the end of the school week. Young girls, not only in her class but from across the school and of all ages had started to go missing, vanishing without a trace. It was something that had been happening for a quite a while, the disappearances in Derry seemed to always stretch over a period of a year, but they had never seen such a large group of children in such a short space of time goes missing.

The tole reached 15 today, with the young Sophia Kevin being reported missing overnight by her worried parents when she had not returned home after a playdate at her friend's house, who just lived down the street. She was only 12 years old, and it sent shivers down your spine to imagine what had happened to such a sweet and innocent girl that you saw frequently while teaching at the middle school.

There was only one logical reason for these disappearances no matter how much you hated to admit it, and that was Pennywise the clown. You knew there had to some way you could stop this, something you could say to the clown to at least slow down the abduction of the girls….

But thinking about this further, if Pennywise was abducting girls, ranging from ages 10 to all the way up to 18 and 19-year-olds who were believed to have simply run away, does this mean that he had finally gotten bored of you? Gotten sick of having you around and simply found it easier to devour and keep around younger girls to mess around with (scare, not anything sexual), and he was shoving you off to the side or would he use you as a snack?

It created a painful feeling in your chest, like Pennywise himself was plunging his talon-like claws into your chest and then ripping his claws back out again, your still beating and warm heart in his hands in your face until he swallowed it hole without another care.

He wouldn't do that to you… would he?

Halting, you quickly gathered up the paperwork you decided you would finish later that night and shoved it into your carry case before quickly dashing out the door before a thought entered your mind to stop you. Your speed increased as you were now practically sprinting down the empty school corridors, soon reaching the front entrance and stumbling down the flight of stairs and into the teacher's car park.

Reaching your car, you were quick to unlock it and shove your belongings onto the empty passenger's seat before scrambling in yourself and quickly shutting the door while your other hand worked on putting on your seat belt. The second thoughts and the worry were seeping in as you started the car, the idea that Pennywise no longer wanted you made you squirm in your seat.

Starting your car, you pressed down on the accelerator and shot out of the school's car park, out onto the cracking tar road and headed straight for Neilbolt road, straight towards that run down house that had never once given you the chills, but a feeling of comfort and love. Straight towards a fight you knew would happen, because with the tears of anger welling in your eyes you knew you wanted answers, and you knew how Penny acted when there was raised voices or anger involved.

But you couldn't ignore it anymore, no you couldn't let another kid get hurt because you were in love with the clown, well… maybe fewer children, as you also couldn't stand the idea of your beautiful boyfriend starving…

It was a 9-minute drive on the way to Pennywise’s dwelling if you counted in the 2 red lights you had gotten on your way there. On a good day when there were no red lights it could take you no less than 5 to 6 minutes of travel to reach your boyfriend's house, and this closeness had always been a comfort to you (and to Pennywise but not like he had ever admitted that to your face).

Pulling up out front, you wondered what people must have thought of you when they saw your car parked outside of the rundown house from time to time. You made a conscious effort to work over to the building, or Pennywise would simply visit you, so no questions would be asked about you entering such a deserted and unpopular area.

The small travel time between the school and Pennywise’s dwelling had let the thoughts intensify in your mind. In a rush of anger, you stood for the car door and slammed it as loudly as you could, knowing that Pennywise would know you were here whether you did this act or not.

It wasn't for him, it was for you; to let out some of the emotions that you felt. Tears still clung to the side of your eyes as you trudged up the stairs onto the small desk, before pushing the door open roughly without bothering to not knock.

“Pennywise!?” You shout, not caring if anyone heard, all you needed was for him to know you were here. And you were sure he could smell the anger and growing fear and doubt simply by you being there.

It didn't take but a second for you to hear that familiar sadistic giggle, bells ringing eerily as your head large feet clambered down the rickety and decomposing staircase. Slowly coming into view, the larger than life Pennywise reached the bottom of the stairs and in the blink of an eye he stood right in front of you, his gloved hands (stained with red, obviously blood) reaching up and gently caressing your cheek. His usual large grin on his face, his eyes shone in their usual way when he saw you, with a hint of lust but overall adoration.

“Kitty, kitty, kitty... So good to see you! Now, why is my pretty little girl yelling?”

But, as his large hand pressed against your cheek, you flinched back away from his touch and continued to hold back the tears in the corner of your eyes. His large frown dropped, an edge in his eye coming to rather a confused and angered look. You knew that Pennywise was easy to anger, and that made a shudder run down his spine.

“Pennywise, you have been taking all of these young girls haven't you?”

As soon as you said this, the clown’s arm lowered and he let out a low growl, teeth showing out the sides of his mouth as his eyes met yours. They were smouldering with angered emotions, and he knew he had been caught. It was as if you had told off a cat that had killed a bird and brought it inside the house, but this cat was 2 times as big as you and got angry if you did the slightest thing they didn't like.

Tears welled up in your eyes, your head shaking as you stepped back. As soon as Pennywise growled you knew the gig was up, this was something he always did when he was caught, when someone seemed to be attacking him. Penny’s eyes watched you still, his lips curled into a snarl, his large hand falling back to his side, and you now noticed the large amounts of blood splatters that covered his otherwise grew clown suit.

“W-why Penny? Am I not good enough for you anymore? Not young enough!? Not pretty enough!?” You scream at him, throwing all caution to the wind, not worrying if you would anger the clown or not with your yelling or words. You needed him to know how you felt, and that this wasn't okay.

Another large angered, deep growl ripped from his painted lips, coming from the back of his throat like a feral animal that is trying to stand its ground. It sent a shiver down your spine, you knew he wouldn't keep his cool much longer.

“Come on Pennywise! Tell me!? Am I not good enough for you anymore!? No one could love you like I do Penny, no-fucking one!” You screamed out angrily, your fists curling up as you wanted to hit something.

In less than a second, his hand shot outwards and curled around your neck, fingers digging into the sides of your neck as your small frame was slammed against the wall roughly. You were winded for a couple of seconds, and before you knew it Pennywise’s body was pinning yours against the wall of the house. His eyes were now golden, his fingers starting to curl deeper into your throat, cutting off your windpipe and making it hard for you to breathe.

His face came up to your ear, fear starting to slowly slip into your veins at the lack of oxygen that you were getting into your lungs. This was something he did when he was angry, pin you down and make you feel small to make sure you knew he was in power, and it caused adrenaline to run through your veins.

“Young girls… they are easier to catch than other children my dear, their fear more intoxicating and delectable in their flesh…” He admits, his tongue slowly trailing over your earlobe, causing you to squirm under his hand. You could feel him smile, his hips pinning you harder against the wall and you couldn't help but feel the least bit aroused.

“But, my dear (Y/n), nothing can top your sweet taste, your delectable fear… You are mine and I have no intention of letting you out of my grasp anytime soon, those stupid little children mean nothing to me. You silly, silly girl” Penny growls, his lips touching your ear as he continued to talk, his teeth gently nibbling where he had licked earlier.

“Now my little kitten, do I have to fuck some sense into you? To make you remember that you are mine” Penny’s fingers dug in that little further at the word ‘mine’ “And that you always will be? Because I am more than willing to teach you the lesson my pretty little thing…”

“P-penny…” You croak, a wave of adoration and ease wafting over you at the words, the words of the clown both turning you on and reassuring you that you were his, and he did care about you in some messed up and psychopathic way only you could understand.

Pennywise’s other hand was travelling down your front, down the valley between your breasts, your stomach and to the belt that held your pants up. Quickly unbuckling it, his hand easily slipped into your pants, long fingers already groping and massaging your clothed pussy. Admittedly, you were already a bit wet from being pinned so hard against the wall, the feeling of his hips pinning you hard against it.

His giggles filled your ear, his lips now tracing down your throat and his teeth grazing early over your skin as you continued to squirm, buck your hips outwards into his hand that worked against your pussy “such a naughty kitty aren't you, already wet for me!? So so dirty my little one…” He teases you, fingers continuing to rub your pussy with your undies still on, making you crave his gloves to be against your actual skin.

Mewling, you felt saliva slipping out of Penny’s mouth, also effectively turning you on as you felt the dampness grow between your legs as his fingers worked. Biting into your neck, Penny growls yet animalistically and you could feel him hardening against your thigh. It was a couple more movements of his finger before they skillfully moved your soaked panties aside, shoving his long gloved finger into your pussy. His fingers knew their way around quite well, knowing all of your crevices and sweet spots.

Moans left your mouth in between moans and gasps, your mind becoming fuzzy as you hands shot upwards and into the clowns orange hair, grasping it tightly between your fingers and tugging it out of pleasure causing even louder and longer growls to escape from the back of Pennywise’s throat, his teeth slowly starting to break skin as his hips ground against yours hungrily, lustfully.

Biting down hard, Pennywise broke the skin on your neck and you couldn't help but gasp in shock, but also as it excited you, the feeling of being bitten causing your arousal to continue to build.

“You will always be mine (Y/n), Always!”

Pennywise growls animalistically, his mouth moving away from your neck, your blood smeared across his lips as they then smash against yours hungrily. Penny’s tongue forcefully enters your mouth, your tongues intertwining in a small battle which Pennywise won easily. Adding yet another finger, your whole body shook as you felt the familiar sensation of an orgasm building up in the pit of your stomach.

Growing sick of the layers of clothes that hid your body from his eyes, Pennywise quickly ripped your clothes off your body with his claws, hungering for your body. You gave a small gasp as his eyes roamed your naked body, a feeling of excitement as he still had a hand inside of you while ripping off your clothes. Your nipples hardened in the cool temperature, and the rough wood against your back added another layer of pleasure to the experience.

Not wanting him to remove his hand from inside you, your fingers furiously worked on the buttons of the clowns uniform, tugging it down frantically off his lanky frame and onto the floor. His cock was hard and erect, and it caused you to clench your thighs in excitement. This caused Penny to giggle, watching how you reacted to him.

“Jump kitten” He snaps bossily, and you quickly did as you were told, jumping up and wrapping your legs around his waist before he lets out a small giggle.

Penny kept you pinned against the wall skillfully, making sure you didn't fall. His mouth had now fallen to your chest, lips hungrily lapping and sucking at your nipples before biting them, causing you to moan and squirm harder in his embrace. Saliva dripped down your stomach, slipping onto the floor, his fingers still working to tease your pussy.

Your arms locked around his neck, his lips still working on your chest, leaving small bite marks and bruises across your chest to prove his ownership of you. His claim of you. As he felt you growing to a high, he could now tell from your smell due to a number of times you had fucked each other, his fingers seemed to immediately vanish form in you.

Whining, this caused another sadistic giggle escaped his lips as his now free arm locked around your waist, the other holding himself steady as he lined himself up with your wet pussy. Pennywise entered rough and hard, slamming into you without any warning and quickly sinking into you before bottoming out inside you. You moaned loudly, your fingers leaving his hair and scratching down his back, leaving red marks behind as you arched your back to make him go deeper.

“P-penny!” You cried out, the first thing you had said since you had screamed at him only moments before.

With another cheerful giggle, he pulls out before slamming back inside you, as hard and fast as he possibly could. His hips kept a fast pace, moving in and out of you reaching further and further, slamming into your g-spot causing you to create new red lines on his whine back over and over as you arched your back to meet his thrusts.

Pennywise kept up a high tempo, slamming you against the wall and you continued to moan loudly, saliva covering your body as Penny now gripped your hair, yanking your face forwards and forcing your bruised lips to smash against his once again. His tongue was soon in your mouth again, your moans flowing into his mouth as a low growl emitted from his throat, and you knew that neither of you would last this round much longer.

“I-I’m close Penny…” You whimper, his speed only seeming to pick up as he heard you whimper this, another giggle escaping his lips. Penny’s excessive slobber now slipped down both of your chins, both of you panting.

“Come for me (y/n), come for me my little kitten!” Pennywise growls, his tone low and demanding you, his lips once again against your ear as his teeth bit down onto your earlobe once again.

You only lasted a couple more seconds, coming hard as you bucked your hips harder as you rode off your high, Penny’s thrusts starting to become sloppy himself as he released also after large thrusts into you. Both riding off your high, the clown slowly lowered you back onto the ground, before sweeping you up into his arms and appearing in ‘his bedroom’. Pennywise had created a clean room with a queen sized bed for when you decided to stay over, and it was the only normal room in the house.

Laying you down on the bed, pulling up the sheets to cover both your body and his, Pennywise grinned at you, laying down on the bed beside you as you rolled onto your side. Long arms encircling your waist, Penny tugged your naked form to his side, your face nuzzling into his collarbone. Emitting a sigh, you closed your eyes.

“If it…. If it really bothers you so much kitty, I won't eat any more little girls okay? I’ll stick to those little boys, okay?” The clown grumbles, his lips ghosting your forehead as he held a firm grasp on your form. It was always comforting, and it helped Pennywise control his protective notions between you.

“That you be nice Penny… as long as you don't starve. I'm so sorry for yelling, I just thought that you were over me” You mumble, not opening your eyes as a wave of tiredness hits you, making you realize how long and strenuous your day had really been. Well, you also had to factor in the events that had just happened, but your mind was starting to grow fuzzy.

“I want my kitten happy” Pennywise huffs stubbornly, his mind made up as he watches you slowly fall asleep, your breathing becoming a slow and steady rhythm. “Goodnight kitten, remember that you will always be mine” This was the last you heard, his gloved fingers ghosting the large bite mark that resided on your neck.

Soon enough, you had fallen asleep in the clown's arms, feeling no more fear and worry that Pennywise had moved on or was tired of you. He had you, and he always will. You would also always have Pennywise, watching you from the shadows and taking care of you, even if you didn't know he was there.

MASTERLIST

#pennywise #pennywise x reader #pennywise the dancing clown #pennywise the clown #pennywise imagine #pennywise x you #pennywise fanfiction #pennywise fandom #pennywise fluff #pennywise smut #pennywise smile #reblog #it #it movie 2017 #yelling matches

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fartonexit · 3 years

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A letter for my mother to find.

I'm not spending time writing this out like I thought I would. I'm not walking you through every little step, checking paths are clear to be read, because they aren't, and I'm not taking every precaution to hide myself anymore because honestly if I keep doing that I really am going to kill myself.

I came out as trans last year after many many years of it burning and smoldering for any form of attention. I ignored it, in fact I even have a place in my brain that I visualized physically throwing myself into to keep myself quiet. Anything, everything to just not be found out, not be seen or heard, everyone go away I'm going to go hate myself.

You want to point to developmental cycles. Ok. Why do you think I stopped eating in a group at dinner? Did you know I would talk to myself in the barn at night to keep all the anxiety down and just blow off steam for an hour and a half straight? And you never questioned why it looked like I has half paying attention in some areas and trying hard in others....

In middle school I was already thinking about this. In fact, it has been on my mind for so long, I'm not sure it's never not been there. There was no cause, no big explosion of coom and suddenly I wanted to be a sex object or something. Double up, middle school was hell and I can't remember any of it except doing math at home and breaking my DS. That's basically all I remember of those 3 years. 'cept one thing.

I got asked by a chick in 6th grade to go out with her, well maybe 7th actually, and I froze and turned them down. Not because of the ASD shit, mind you, but because I'd been staring at Tyler Roth's bulge for 2 hours squirming in my chair. If a girl asks me out and I'm doing that right beforehand, and in fact get up to use the bathroom to clean up, you think I'm gunna say yes to the girl?

That's fucking stupid. No.

At least at the time to me it was.

Now I am more open about myself. I care more for personality than body, so sex doesn't matter unless it's a group effort (haha). I am definitely pansexual, there's no doubts there. Poly even, but I'm not sharing any of that with you. That's all the info you get.

If you can't tell from the title, I'm kinda trans kinda not. Non-Binary is the correct term, and I'm a little jazzed that I'm over my bullshit about it. I never said anything or made it obvious because of bad reactions from you and dad about me being gay, or other gay ppl, so like honestly why would I ever have said anything when I don't trust you?

This is also the origin of my trust issues.

In college, actually no, in high school I heard the term for the first time, in college, learning more and more about what trans ppl go through and nb people go thru, I locked myself in my room for 2 weeks and only came out for dinner. I almost committed suicide off of AB after that period because I couldn't handle it and it hadn't matched anything that I had known before. It's something I've actually wanted to talk to you about for years, and when I try to bring it up you scream at me and run away like I've ruined your whole life in some 80's teenager movie. You won't even hear my side of it.

There's obviously a lot for us to talk about, and I'll let you come up with your own questions. I'll make a lil' faq

1: Are you male or female?

A:. I'm always going to acknowledge my birth. I'm never going to not acknowledge what I went thru, the good or the bad, or that I ever had a penis.

Male in origin, but in-between. Genderfluid is the correct term. Maybe intersex as well, as that's how I see myself. I notice when I eat more estrogen enriching foods, my mood balances out. I've been eating more E rich foods lately (seeds, dry fruit, oat bran in the morning) and I've honestly never felt more.... Normal.

2: If it's fluid, what the hell do I call you?

A: Well it's not like you'll make me explode at you if you straight up call me he and I'm in a dress, more I'll be watching the ppl around you staring at you calling me a he.

My pronouns are hi / shi / him / hir / they / them, and honestly my rule is call what you see. The I is there for... Well, intersex. Male or female presenting.

So again, call what you see. I do get mad though, especially if I worked really hard to make a banger of an outfit. Honestly, so glad you don't know my style either... If I'm obviously trying, respect that. I don't always though, only on special occasions.

3: What about your name then? It's effeminate.

A: I'm effeminate, what's your point. Hell if you want a bullshit term to look into look up genderfaun. Within genderfluidity there can be limits, which ppl of course have denoted how people will denote it. Genderfaun basically means cboy. A male embodied person never quite unclasping on full effeminacy.

4: How have I never heard of this?

A: Same reason women's issues are more vocalized to men's issues. Same reason why I'm expected to be the one running the construction site and my partner is supposed to be my loving little wife. Cboy's, intersex ppl in general rly, don't really have a need to be found out. And quite rare, actually. Honestly, Nonbinary is what can go on a paper and what is legally applicable, so that's the 'umbrella' term, if you need one.

5: So what makes you a cboy then?

A: years of undeserved anguish, hating my body, not wanting breasts, wanting to give birth, my dick feeling out of place or straight up like a tumor on my life, relationships being hard to start and even harder to keep literally because of sex, crying after being made the top for sex, having to top at all, expectations beset by other's that I don't get a voice in, not getting a voice in general and not being in any spot of authority or passed by the same or opposite sex in both education and normal social life, oh and also every time I see a picture of a cboy I'm happy, not horny.

6: Why that term? Rather harsh

A: I agree. If there was a better term that was as equally descriptive I'd go for it. I don't think intersex male is quite applicable tho, nor does genderfluid work on a job app., Tho neither does cb. It started as a term in porn but people have taken it as their own, me included.

Again describe it in one word that isn't confusing (transfeminine for example, genderfaun for another) and get back to me when you figure it out.

7: Possibility A - you're crazy

A: That'd be cool if I was crazy actually, then I'd actually fucking feel normal. Like I had a normal problem. Like I was being treated like I should be in society. Sadly enough I've talked to multiple shrinks, other trans and nb people, other cboys, and pretty much everyone agrees my living situation was really fucked up, as we're the expectations beset upon me. Not always, and I'm not just spraying buckshot over my whole life, but there's some stuff we REALLY need to talk about.

I've actually made it my life mission for the last 10 plus years to find someone like me being interviewed. I have had the hardest time too because I beat myself up about it so often, unless I tripped over a podcast episode (like I actually did) I'd never find anything and just think I was schizophrenic or something. Hell for a while you had convinced me I was because of stuff you were doing and talking about, and like bloody usual, not letting go of or shutting up about for months.

Literally half the reason I moved in to where I am was to checksum myself. I am definitely not schizophrenic and absolutely have a panic and anxiety disorder.

Possibility B - ok I'll bite, who else is there?

A: here's the podcast that made me feel safe. We're not 100% similar, but a lot of what he is saying I get. And while he lives in cali, stuff your biases. He moved here from japan when he was 12 or something.

https://www.furwhatitsworth.com/?episode=s9-episode-3-nb-nb-nb

This is not the only podcast I've listened to, but it's the best perspective I've heard. And I can say for solid, to this day, I get exactly everything he is talking about. Every single thing.

8: Ok, so what about your name (should you be on board)

A: Thats hard for me. I know I came with Ari and then tried Faun, but Faun is more a nickname for me from somebody and I liked the sound. I still like the name a lot too. But my name is Aremis, it's been Aremis, I'm going to move on and stop thinking about that one so hard.

9: Why not keep your old name? I'm offended you don't have my father's name anymore.

A: ok good for you for inscribing your bullshit onto someone before they can even he a say, as usual.

My dead name literally hurts. I've tried to explain to you, you ignored me.

That's all you get. Deal with it.

10: I'm not sure I'm ok with this.

A: Neither am I but I'd be dead right now from jumping under a semi in traffic a few months back if I hadn't. This isn't a mistake, or anything you did to me. It's just how I am. Now I know why you want the new DSM so bad.

By the way, dsm backs me up. So if god is gunna have to say something because of your convictions, I'll walk.

Peace. I'm done pooping now, time to get off the toilet.

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opulvnts-blog · 6 years

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the war is over ?? the day is Finally here ?? ( vine kid vc ) sup fuCKERS ! . im sahar, 20, est n’ i suck major ass tbh and i have nothin’ interesting to say abt myself except that i’ve eaten chocolate chip cookies three times in one week and i hope i choke one day , and i love everything about sad movies . !!! god now since this rp is open ill die for ur mfing characters, fuck me up with them plots . plz like this and come and plot w me , u won’t regrat plotting wit me cuz i’ll show u a good time boo boos . ps . i wrote this at 4 am so y’all better tell me smth nice about kennedy or im fucking done . ily all ..

shes a vegan. wont tell anyone bc she vv reserved . like if u asked how are u she will say smth like ‘ fuck ouuta here fucking fuckboi ‘ and like whenever u get her very pissed off she will say fuck in every single sentence . like ‘ yo dude what the fuck ?? what in the actual fuck are u fucking kidding fucking piece of shit oh my fucking gof fuck bitch” she’s not a bitch or anything she just … toO MUCH ! she also thinks of herself as superior . at times, she can even come across as sickly sweet or just kind in general . SHES incredibly wise and have good judgement when it comes to the people in their lives or the situation at hand. they may not necessarily be too book smart but it’s definitely balanced out by the extent of their street smart/wise. if she’s got an opinion, you can guarantee she’s going to voice it to the highest of volumes. it doesn’t matter whether you’ve known her for 10 years or are complete strangers on the street, she won’t hesitate to share her opinion on the matter. especially if she disagrees with yours. she’s assertive, awfully blunt and arrogant.

HERE ARE SOME VINES THAT I ASSOCIATE WITH KENNEDY : HERE . HERE. HERE ANDHERE

OK NOW OFF TO HER BIO !

her dad was a very quiet man who was soft and kind and just a goof and she was… the opposite. they got along great when she was a kid but as soon as her teenage years came she just turned into a rebellious ball of shit tbh. her dad could not handle her, even tho he tried his best. he wasn’t the yelling type at all and he’d try to make her realize she was a handful thru calm words but KENNEDY was just yolo. she wasn’t good in school. absolutely sucked at math and any science. didn’t kno the difference between geometry and algebra until 8th grade, thought she was doing the same shit. basically every science is the same. but !! she was v good in english class. like, that was her only good subject besides PE bc she was sporty as fuck and got way too intense about it also she was lowkey a bully but only bullied boys because she felt a strong need to make them suffer and she has a lot of good memories about it jhdjsdns

JHGDFGHSYCTG like deadass would beat guys up and be like cOME ON MY GRANDMA COULD FUCKNG TAKE U !!! she would make them m i s e r a b l e things were always kind of tense between kennedy and her mom they never really got along ??? her mom rlly resent kennedy for who she is even though kennedy really mfing tries to be a good person for her mom to accept who she is as a person.

things got a little better when kennedy was 6 and her little brother mikkel was born. except………things only got worse a few years later?? there was an accident where mikkel got hit by a car when kennedy was walking him home from school.obviously the entire family was grief-stricken. they just lost their 6 year old son. it was awful. kennedy’s mom blamed herself, kennedy blamed herself and her dad blamed kennedy too. they moved around a lot after their son, kennedy’s brother died,, to different states but never out of the us and it was like none of them could rly talk about it with each other either. her parents started to fight a lot and they each had different ways of dealing with their grief. her mom went out on some crisis and had a string of affairs , while her dad turned to alcohol and abuse to deal with his grief.

her dad left her mom, after the incident. her mom got rlly fucked up like she will go to parties and act like she was 18. kennedy lived with her mother who appeared to be involved in a few crimes . kennedy appeared to be more responsible than her mother at this point lmao . they got into a car accident under the influence of them celebrating her mother’s birthday. kennedy wasn’t the one driving, but she switched seats with her mother so she wouldn’t get in any more trouble which led to kennedy going to jail for a but bc she was underage .

the cops were like well shes has no one speical so lets leave her with her dad . her dad rlly couldn’t take care of kennedy because well .. he was a mess. he was always pass out on the couch with beer stains on his shirt and a pizza box on the floor. mia was basically an accident/surprise to her father. he had no desire whatsoever to have kids after her brother’s incident.

sometimes kennedy would come to school with bruises on her face. she remembers the snatches of convos between girls warning each other to steer clear of the leach, and wonder what they would say if she told them that everytime her father gets drunk she’s not sure being her father’s daughter will grant her immunity. She knew people could tell with one glance, one look, one simple instant. It was her eyes. Despite the thick makeup, they were still dark-rimmed., haunted, and sad. Most of all though, they were familiar. The fact that we were in front of hundreds of strangers changed nothing at all. She spent a summer with those same eyes-scared, lost, confused-staring back at herself. Anyone she was close with would have known them anywhere. she couldn’t sleep at night knowing that her parents will abuse her for anything that she will do. she spent countless of nights staying up, making sure that she wouldn’t have any slip ups in the morning when she woke up

she spent the rest of her senior year shut off from the world as she grieved not only her brother, but the girl she used to be. she’d always been expected to go on to university & do something that would make a hell of a lot of money, but as her classmates got busy filling out their college applications, she holed up in the school’s auto-shop, learning how to work on cars.a few months after graduation, her grandfather passed ( of natural causes, thank god ) & she received a hefty inheritance. her classmates and teachers, lmao, watched in horror as their precious gem of a daughter shelled out thousands of dollars to purchase her own garage, with plans to become a mechanic. she's not rich, but she does have her own money . gives her a opportunity to say ‘at least i got here all by myself and not with mommy’s or daddy’s money’ heh….

kennedy is somewhat emotionally stunted. her remaining friends from high school have all gone their separate ways & she hardly speaks to any of them. she’s dabbled in a romantic relationship here or there, but most of them have ended badly. basically? she’s a disaster.

#networkintro

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survivor-tierradelfuego · 4 years

Text

Ep. 9: “If you’re not on top, you’re on the bottom & getting played” - Maddison

Maddison

I made the merge!!! Let’s gooo baby!

Aimee

I cannot believe me the oldest person made it to merge! I’m still shaking a little bit to be honest. Haha I always see those reality tv shows where the oldest person is the first boot. Haha and I know there are other 30 year olds but this feels special to me.

Yay merge! This lady is gonna kick it into high gear, hopefully the alliances I made and the friendships I have started help me to get far but we will see what the future brings 🌅

Olivia A.

I’m excited for merge but not sure if we’ll able to get numbers together and have a majority.

Grae G

We do be merging.... OG maola is in mini Priya so I will be spending every spare moment working my ass off to try and make as many OG Hanuha bonds as possible...

Najwah

While I'm happy to have made it to merge, I'm actually really sad about James. I've never been this sad about losing anyone in this game before. We started off never having had a one on one chat but we just had each others backs from day one. Stuck it out. Fought together. We spoke on a video call earlier and it was the most easiest conversation ever. He was genuine and kind and I wish him everything of the best in this life. He deserves so many good things. My heart is sore. I didn't want to be here with Amy. She's unresponsive and I don't really trust her. But she told me she had a steal a vote and she wanted to give it to me before tribal because it could be used post merge. And then, she changed her mind like 15 minutes before tribal she was like no this game is a distraction for me and I want to use it tonight. And it was either going to be James or me. She was in a position of power. I think she chose to vote James out coz she has previously stated that he is good at challenges. She wants to have a secret alliance with me. I agreed to it just so that I could be. Kept in the game by her I guess. I have no intention to betray other people I am in an alliance with. Idk. I'm just still shocked. I actually cried about it on a call with Cody earlier. Cody also told me that since day 1 Ben and Zack have been bitching about me voting James out and turning on James and weakening Hanúha Tribe alliance. Like? What? I'm so annoyed. Not once have I even considered voting out James. We had a good thing going. He's just one of the best people in this game and I honestly wish he was. Here. I'm not in the mood for these two faced assholes who only care about themselves.

Pedro A

im scared ..this can change the whole game

Sarah

AHHH, it’s Merge time! I’m so excited that I, along with most of my alliance, made it to Merge. Definitely sad about James being voted out at the last vote since he was one of my closest allies in the game but thanks for giving me coins and helping me get the idol James! 😊 Maybe Amy has put a target on her back after playing steal a vote and can be an “easy” first vote for the majority of people on our new tribe. Well, there was definitely a lot to catch up on in a week and I talked with Cody for quite awhile last night and he filled me in. He let me know that Ben confided in him and said he didn’t trust Zack fully either. Cody of course hasn’t completely trusted Zack this whole game so at some point, I’m sure everyone will vote out Zack. But for now, our alliance and former Hanuha tribe is staying strong. Like I’ve said, I feel like Cody and I are in one of the best positions in the game because of our connections with so many others. Aimee feels close to me, Najwah feels close to Cody, and Ben and Zack feel close to us. I have also had some communication with Grae and feel like I can talk with her. I do think there is an alliance between Grae, Maddison, Olivia, and maybe Amy though. This next challenge and tribal will be interesting for sure with a 6/6 tribe split.

Olivia A

At the moment it feels like we’re in the minority (with Pedro still mad abt the John vote) but with this idol and the plan to get everyone to target Pedro I feel like we can get in a good place again. And then convincing people to turn on Zack will hopefully not be too hard.

Maddison

It seems like the boys from original Hanuha are coming after me... and there is nothing I hate more than men chasing me. Time to bring down the hammer. :) I found an idol today thanks to the help of my lovely Rox the Sox alliance. I’m happy to have it in my possession but I’m also ready to use it for whomever in my alliance may need it. I wouldn’t have found it without them anyways.

Amy A

Made the merge 🎉🎉🎉🎉. Can’t say it has been an easy road. Almost voted out last night. Even though that was not even remotely gonna happen cos ‘Steal-a-vote’. So, definitely happy to be here but sad that I lost my advantage. Also, my alliance with Najwah seems pretty solid. I hope she isn’t just saying stuff to me just to gain my trust and then break it. I absolutely trust her. Even beyond the game. I feel like I can actually talk to her. Let’s go merge!!! Amy A. So, lies. I feel like this should be my little confessional to keep track of my lies cos 😂😂😂😂😂😂 it’s so damn hilarious to ME. I don’t even have a cat but I feel like people seem you as more trustworthy when you have a pet. I also think Grae believes I’m not aligned with Najwah cos I told her I had a mini bond w James instead. This is really entertaining.

Zack M

"well, i got it." - valerie cherish, the comeback and by it i mean the merge. i'm here. i've accomplished what i wanted to do. now my goal is to make it to top 10. baby steps. but i feel like i'm going to be the first person voted out tbh. something is off with my tribe. the only person i feel like i can actually trust at the moment is najwah. we had like a 2 hour video call last night and compared notes. apparently cody also tried to buy the necklace with her. i'm like 89% positive that him and sarah have the idol. i really wanted to go to final two with him but 1. i don't see me making 2. if i do, i don't think i can fully trust him. it's obvious he is running around talking to everyone and it's starting to get messy. anyways, i think i will be voted out first because it's clear the maola girls are working together. maddison, grae, olivia, amy, kalle all need someone to vote out. why not the guy who was the "tribe leader" at the swap. there may be some hope IF pedro stays loyal and votes with the hanuha tribe but that would also mean that aimee and sarah have to stay with us. aimee apparently told pedro she's been on the bottom which isn't a lie but like why aimee? *face palm* if hanuha stays strong and pedro votes with us then it will be 7 /5 and i should be safe. i would like to pretend to vote amy out (#Justice4James) because i feel like alan may have gave her the idol, if they actually had one like rumor suggests. she plays the idol ... we flush it ... and take out maddison or grae. that would be dream scenario. but who knows what is going to happen with this auction coming up. stay tuned.

Olivia A

Pedro A

OKay so kalle basically said...."I've been on the bottom since the John vote lol....I just don't know who I can try to connect or reconnect with at this point"...so she doesnt trust them anymore....which is nice...and i kinda believe her..considering they didnt pick her to be in the swap tribe...which honestly was a mistake......Grae and Maddison..im coming for you...karma is a bitch

Pedro A

im talking with najwah...i kinda wanna know about her relationship with amy...cause amy is a snake gURL...But i feel like its too early on to ask that...but im watching you GURL

Pedro A

lets just hope we dont self destruct...cause then we will be devoured by the habuha. tribe

Olivia A

Checked in with Aimee and she’s seeming iffy about the original Hanuha people and is still interested in working with me! This is very good news :) If we get Pedro our next and Aimee sticks w us then we’ll have the numbers 6-5.

Kalle N

This first tribal is going to be a gigantic mess. Pedro now says he trusts me and asked me really nicely to not lie to him bc he's sick of being lied to, and it just made me feel really bad. I think rox the sox is still planning on voting Pedro but if I feel like I genuinely have him on my side, I could maybe try to get our alliance to vote for someone else like Zack or Ben. Ben really wants to take out Maddison or Grae but idk how much I want to rely on Ben.

Pedro

i honestly feel like i noone is being truthfull to me

Pedro A

Honestly im scared...at this point..i just want to make it into the top 10

Pedro A

one step at a time

Olivia A.

For this challenge I’m paired with Cody. I’m not really excited about it. I don’t have anything against him but I’ve never interacted w this man before and I don’t want to help him get immunity! He seems rly nice and funny I just feel like it’s gonna be awkward and also I have 0 ideas. Doesn’t rly matter though bc we’re not planning on targeting him so if he does get immunity it’s whatever. 🤷🤷

Pedro A

Is this a jokkeeee..I'm with graeeeee .....I'm so unlucky...I'm honestly doneeee..like wtf...what did I do to deserve this ass...gods please help..

Kalle N

I don't know if you're familiar with the show New Girl or not, but it's my favorite show of all time and I'm going to use an example from it to explain how I feel. In New Girl, Nick Miller once said "I'm so sick of the lying... and the manipulating .. and the out-manipulating". I'm lying and holding so much different info from different people and groups of people that my brain is going to explode. Can't wait to see what Aimee will be like but oof this is getting crazy

Olivia A

I take back what I said Cody’s vibes are immaculate 🤠

Aimee

Haha I’m an idiot. I just sat there at the auction staring at the void. I think I’m still so shook I made it to merge that I just stare into the blankness instead of doing anything. Dang, I wish I would of gotten that envelope. I need that extra vote man. I don’t want that extra going to the Suite life of Zack and Cody. I feel like they are still a big threat to my game even if we are being friendly right now. I don’t necessarily believe in this old Hanuha strong alliance. I’m skeptical, the game of survivor is so complex and I don’t want to play this simple, it has burned me before. With this immunity challenge for me Kalle would be a simple vote to get out now. But now I have to work with her to get immunity. Damn. We will see how this goes. Your lady is gonna to try her best no matter what. No throwing challenges here , in this house.

Zack M

literally fml. i didn't get anything the auction which i don't care about tbh. but now it's our first INDIVIDUAL IMMUNITY CHALLENGE but we have to work in pairs. individual immunity challenge .... in pairs. i know. seems like kindergarten knowledge that we would work alone but like whatever. i'm partners with amy. she fucked over najwah and james. i hear she doesn't respond and she didn't even complete the last challenge. i guess i will be doing this alone. flashback to high school when i did all the group projects. this is kind of mean. amy could be a sweetheart of a person. she's been nothing but nice to me. and i did reach out to her this morning because her facial expressions during tribal do crack me up. so if you read this amy, know that my frustration isn't with you personally ... it's how you've played the game so far from what i've been able to see. + that our first individual immunity challenge isn't individual at all. whatever.

Sarah

FUCCKK. I didn’t buy anything in the auction except for a ticket with the VL (which I’m honestly thrilled about that). I definitely thought there would be 10 items, I learned my Survivor auction lesson.... So much has happened in the past hour I- Cody got an extra vote which he told me and then we discussed whether we should tell the whole group or not. I encouraged him to share it because it would keep our Hanuha tribe from getting paranoid at this first vote if they knew we had that advantage. We don’t want Zack to get paranoid and flip... So. Zack messaged Cody about Najwah sharing with him about what the necklace meant. Zack said that the necklace had to be used with an idol and would be like a super idol that can be played after the votes are read. But if Naj holds on to it, she gets a 5% disadvantage each week. Najwah didn’t message Cody about it and he was hurt and didn’t know if he could trust her. Cody asked Najwah and at first she said it was just a cursed necklace with a disadvantage and then later shared with him about using it with an idol. So we have no idea what is the truth and if Zack and Naj are closer than we think... but Zack literally wanted to vote Naj out so I have NO idea what to think anymore. I’m also worried that James shared with Naj he had shared 5 coins with me because they got close and now she may think I have an idol.... asdfghjkl. Cody also wants to start a group of 3 with Ben, him, and I but we don’t know if that will expose Cody and I and if Ben would share that with Zack. Sooo much uncertainty. Merge is CRAZY.

Grae G

Pedros my partner which sucks for him bc of my disadvantage :///

Najwah

I'm so happy about having Sarah as a partner in this challenge. Also awesome that I'm able to give people a 10% advantage. So Amy and I are secretly chatting. Initially I was ready to just blindside her and get her out but she's giving me the tea from the inside lmao and we are sharing ideas and hyping each other up and I love that. Pedro started talking to me too and we kinda connected. I told Amy the 10% in giving is for her and Zack and I'm telling Zack it's because I don't want to give Maddison, Grae or Olivia an advantage so Ben and Cody don't benefit from my advantage either. Aimee, Sarah, Zack, Amy and I do however and these are all people I'm willing to work with in the future. I have to play this very carefully. I THINK people trust me right now, but I suspect they're extremely weary. I don't want to be messy so I am sticking to Hanúha, Amy African Queen alliance and I'll listen and entertain Pedro if he wants to talk. He just needed to vent and I really think he's a genuine person. Not sure what he's going to be like now that he's working with someone he "Hates" and is "dead to him" yep my guy is hella dramatic. I feel for him though, I do. It's a game of survivor yes but the constant lying and betrayal affects one psychologically. It's important to still treat each other like humans and be kind. I feel okay right now. I think I'm in an okay position right now.

Olivia A

I take back what I said Cody’s vibes are immaculate 🤠

Sarah

Cody, Ben, and I formed a three person alliance tonight and I honestly feel really good about it. Cody and I were worried that it might expose Cody and I’s closeness but we both really trust Ben and want to talk through things and work with him. Ben brought up the point of causing chaos at the first tribal so the former Maola tribe can play advantages/idols and we can flush some of them out. I think that will be a good plan. We will get more information tomorrow and then make a decision when we go to tribal. I still haven’t told Ben about my idol yet and I feel like I may but I just want to make sure sure sure that he wouldn’t tell anyone else... After talking with Ben, Cody and I called for another hour and seriously, our friendship goes beyond this game. It’s so crazy how someone can become your best friend in a couple weeks. We obviously want to get to final three/two together and don’t care about voting each other out (if there was a million dollars up for grabs yeah I would want to vote Cody out 😂). We want to go down as the best dynamic duo.

Pedro A

really GRAE an disadvantge??????....CHILLLLEEEEE....my luck...im literally so unlucky.....anyways lets try to win either way Im so not confidente about this challenge and about the next tribal jeez...this will be a long ride

Cody A

https://youtu.be/cAF4L9RNlHg

Pedro A

me and grae did fine.....i really liked our ideia....i hope the judges like it too......IM SO NERVOUS...after this challenge chilllee...IT WILL be a mess

Olivia A

I’m excited for merge but not sure if we’ll able to get numbers together and have a majority.

Olivia A

Working with Cody on this challenge was a lot of fun!! We’re not in the same alliance but if I’m in a position where I do need to strategically work with him later on I’m confident that won’t be too difficult. Also I love what we made lol.

Grae g

Amy got immunity which is very sexy Zack not so much but you know he’s not an active target ((yet))

Kalle N

Ok I literally had to make a chart to keep track of which lies I'm telling to which people bc this is getting WILD. Basically, Ben and I are trying to organize a Grae blindside without Grae knowing anything. If all goes according to plan, we have the numbers to make it happen without me even having to vote for Grae, which will make Maddison and Olivia still trust me. We're also trying to get Maddison to play her idol so we're pretending that her name is being thrown out. In order for this to work we NEED Aimee so tomorrow we're trying to pit her against Grae and make her think that Grae is just using her as a number and wants to get rid of her. I also have to keep talking to Pedro and just make sure he doesn't spread any info or find anything out. Bc he could topple this whole thing. I've also told everyone that I have a fake idol when it's actually real, and Grae is the only one who knows it's real. So if we vote them out and they haven't told anyone else, then that secret dies with them and I'm golden. Even Ben thinks my idol is fake. I'M OUT HERE PLAYING 11TH DIMENSIONAL CHESS rn

Zack M

to quote the great philosopher t-pain, "all i do is win win win...." dude. what?! i won the first "individual" immunity challenge?! this is so wild to me. najwah and sarah's was so cute. i want the little bead man najwah made of me. she really called me an #EMOGAY ... love to see it. back to my work though ... look ... was amy my first choice? no. literally no offense to you amy because you were actually a delight to work with because you allowed me to do what i wanted to do. the secret to a relationship with me is to let me have my way. you did and LOOK AT GOD you're safe. i know i'm a threat in this game and the second i don't win i will be in the mouths of everyone ... im including my alliances in that statement. like why would you want to keep me in this game with my track record? i guess for a shield? seems risky to me. i would 100% blindside me. i would like to take a second and talk to one of the judges from this challenge: dear raffy, lord where do i even start. this is an online game of survivor that's happening while everyone is also living real life. i'm not sure what you expected from people but like damn dude ... you were really acting like you were a guest judge on america's got talent or something. make way for TRYra banks. he called himself "a moment" in his bio. let me tell you that no people wait a lifetime for a moment like this. i can't. lol. you literally gave me a 6 for appeal but gave a computer generated buzzfeed quiz a 9. these judges should really have to explain their scores live in my opinion. ALSO JUDGES SHOULD NOT BE PEOPLE WHO ARE DRAFTING PLAYERS!!! now, i'm not saying they are cheating. (please do not edit this out because i just learned that was a thing from najwah. i will share whatever is missing from my confessions on twitter or somewhere if it isn't here when posted.) it seems a lot of this game is "in the family" and i don't like that. it's hard to be unbiased. but back to raffy ... you said i should have included the entire tribe or created a whole deck. sir ... 1. this is an INDIVIDUAL IMMUNITY CHALLENGE that i already had the displeasure of working on with someone else. it should have just been me on that card tbh. i'm tired of having everything comeback to a tribe. this isn't pre-merge. 2. create a whole deck? this was not some copy and paste art project. i did EVERYTHING including writing out the text on the cards instead of typing it out. now that that's out of my system .. jesus .. i don't even know where to begin with the vote. ben and i have decided to start floating maddison and olivia's names around. this will hopefully scare maddison into using whatever her MAYBE advantage from the auction is. let's flush that out. BUT the target i believe is going to be grae. we're not going to share that until later because we don't know if they're are any moles in the group. omg i just thought, what if her advantage is to steal immunity away from a player at tribal. i don't think that's ever been a thing but like maybe on this fucked up online version it could be. you just never know what to expect. hopefully everything goes according to plan and i just get to chill and see where everyone stands in the game .... and then i win again next time.

Pedro A

I dont like that Amy came to talk to me.....seems suspicious...expecially because amy and najwah for sure have an allience...LOL.....i dont even know what to say..........i think im going tonight...maybe im just being paranoid....But i have this feeling....and hey its my 3rd tribal....3 times its a charm LOL

Amy A

So my little alliance with Najwah is brewing 😂. We’re super close and tell each other everything and I think this is the best move I’ve made since the game started. Also, I won immunity 🎉. Najwah’s advantage really helped. Cos that’s what boosted us. Unless no one tells me she’s the vote, she’s NOT going home tonight. I feel really great for tonight’s tribal and can’t wait to see what’s next.

Pedro A

but im 95% sure najwah..and amy are working a together...like amy came to talk to me...while najwah was online....and it seemed like shes was comparing notes ..to what i said to najwah lol

Pedro A

it feel like Najwah came to supervise me and to get me to throw out a name...LIKE GURLLLL...you think im stoopid?....I HAVE A BAD FEELING...i think its me tonight...chilleeee...which is dumb tbh....cause theres bigger fish...

Pedro A

I feel like najwah...doesnt trust me........like shes always...suspicous of me ...i dont like that....like im paranoid...but she is AN INVESTIGATOR

Pedro A

IM going homeeee FUCKKK

Pedro A

Theory confirmed...CHILLEE...kalle told me....and Grae, Maddison, or Olivia, are planning to vote my ass out...like gurl....and apparently the other tribe was also considering voting my ass out also...wtffff...IM AT ROCK BOTTOM...and im not even playing both sides...i just want grae maddison and olivia out LOL

Pedro A

Grae´s ass better leave...i worked so mf hard on that challenge...and got a disadvantge from them ...and now they are trynna vote me out...LIKE chillleee wtf

Maddison

I! Still! Want! Pedro! Gone! Also hi Zack you’re the clear ringleader but you’ll be knocked out soon enough my guy

Olivia A

Hiii so it’s looking like we’re going for Pedro. I think we have a solid 6 and hopefully 7 if we can get Aimee to get Sarah in with us. This vote feels really important bc it’s gonna establish who has the majority. Although, anyone could flip at any time. WHO KNOWS!!

Kalle N

So last night I was stressing and now I've actually decided to just pass away. This is getting insane. I told Pedro about the Grae vote and he's in, I just have to babysit him and make sure that he doesn't say a word about it to anyone. We also NEED Cody to use his extra vote. I need to throw away my vote on someone that Amy could vote for bc I'm gonna have to throw blame on her after this if this actually works out. The lying is really getting on top of me bc I have to say different things to different people but here we are. Very big tribal tonight

Maddison

I wish some people would realize that if you’re not on top, you’re on the bottom & getting played.

Amy A

The votes are a MESS lemme tell you! The names are Pedro and Grae. We’re tryna use Cody as our decoy vote. The actual mess is in who we’re gonna involve and everyone tryna downplay their closeness to people on the other side. OG Maola tea-time seems to be working well together and have all agreed on Pedro. Maddison has taken a step back from the aggressive role cos I think she has seen that it’d make her a target. I honestly wouldn’t mind voting her out someday because she’s GOOD. I just want us all to get through this tribal and see where the lines fall.

Amy A

Najwah is an actual rockstar 😂😂😂. She and I are basically a tag team at this point. Our private messages are actually lit. Nothing is off topic and literally everything I hear, I tell her. The best part is always blaming the things I know from her from our Palena swap tribe on James. I always say ‘James told me ...’ and it’s HILARIOUS. People may have doubted at the beginning but I think that now, no one even thinks we work together. We nicknames Zack and Pedro ‘Dynamic Dúo’ and I basically love her. She’s my spirit animal.

Olivia A

The vote is still Pedro but our fake-out vote is Cody. I completely trust the people I’m working with but I’m getting a gut feeling that this isn’t going to work out in our favor. Just bc the numbers aren’t quite secure yet. But I’ll just stick w the plan and stay hopeful :/

Kalle N.

kinda bummed we didn't get to pull off the Grae blindside tonight and give Pedro the idol that no one knows about :( But I'm more bummed that Zack was treating anyone the way he did so good riddance I guess. The PB & K alliance is hopefully going to be the undercover move making force that we need to keep our momentum going forward. Unfortunately I do have to work with Ben for right now since I'm definitely on the bottom of my other alliances. It'll be interesting to see what happens next

Pedro A

SOOO this was a mess....i was going homeee tonight.........this wholee situation saved my damn lifeeee.....lets hope this was only a situational thing....and next round is someone different....i doubt it...but still......im so shocked about zack...also can i say that my nº1s change every elimination ..like now its kalle and ben ...i trust them..they had my best interest in mind....im sorry to whoever is reading this...i dont like making long texts in english..and im not good with essays.. SORRY

Aimee

I’m not sure where I left off in my last confessional lol so I’ll start here It was a lot of fun working with Kalle on the coloring and poem projects. I really liked her haiku and her originality of it. I hope she becomes more confident in her creative writing. I’m happy that we got 3rd overall. This morning I heard Grae’s name get thrown around. Haha I literally almost cried when I heard that. I’m not normally an emotional person but I feel like Grae and I have such a special connection and I don’t want to lose it so soon. They are a joy to talk with everyday and I might honestly have a little crush forming. ☺️😅 Their energy matches no other that I talk to in this game. 🤩 It was so nice getting reached out to by Grae and Maddison on how they wanted to vote Pedro out. It was such a relief to finally get included in a vote. I am working closely with Ben in this game. Our main thing is that no one can know we are working together so that we can hear information from all sides of the game. He is someone that I can spill my guts to about ANYTHING game related and I know that he is in it with me for the long haul. There’s so much we know about each other that it’s almost impossible to betray each other without burning each other to the ground! Not that I would want to! He is such a sweetheart and I love him to bits! Haha it’s hard to keep track of the days at this point. We video chat a lot and I really enjoy his company! I’m happy we both made it to merge and together we can turn this game upside down. Sarah and I call ourselves Team Casanova! The flash game queens! 👑 I love talking with her about outside of the game stuff. It’s was so great having her on Maola with me and now merge. We have built such a strong relationship and I really think she is someone I can trust through the end!!!! I really enjoy Maddison too. She seems so down to earth and easy to talk to. I’m glad she sees me as an ally and am excited to see how far she is willing to work with me. Shout out to my girl Najwah! I had no idea what all she was going through and I’m so happy that the emotional threat to her well being is out of this game. She is such a gem and I hope we get to work together more in the future. I’m honestly happy Zack is out of the game. I don’t enjoy hearing what all he was saying about contestants and the host. This game is meant for fun. I hope with him being out the game will be less stressful for us all. I’m just so sorry to hear about what people on my old Hanuha chat had to go through, it sounds even worse than how I felt about things. It breaks my heart and I’m relieved for this reset in the game where we can all air things out and come together. I love everyone here and I’m so happy Jay has decided to recruit me. These friendships I have made and continue to make have been such a joy this summer. Your lady is strong and I will keep fighting for that immunity. ✌️

Najwah

these past 24 hours have been the craziest ever and I have experienced a whirlwind of emotions, all while forgetting to eat, barely sleeping ans having not got out of bed today. Let me start from the beginning, hopefully I remember it all. Let me grab some snacks too. So it started with our first reward challenge. The auction. zack immediately asked me what I got and everyone else were sharing their bid items in the old hanuha group chat so in a panic, I told him. In retrospect, I should have lied. Anyway, zack made me doubt my trust in Cody so i decided not to tell Cody the truth about the necklace, i would learn that zack had told cody about my necklace almost immediately. But more on that later. Anyway, in a panic, i told ben too. lmao. Why? who knows? But i suppose it was an opening and Ben and i Could talk for the first time. Why am i writing this at 12 am on like2 hours sleep? who knows? Okay so then the reward challenge comes up and I am paired with Sarah. I end up having the best day ever. I had so much fun creating and chatting to sarah. We just spoke about life, absolutely nothing game related. For the first time in this entire game, I felt as though we could actually WIN and for the first time, I was having THE BEST DAY. I gave each of my 8bit survivor characters little haikus. It was funny, if i say so myself. Me? I love my silly humour. Okay this page is cutting me off I will write these in parts.

Najwah

Before the challenge due date yesterday, Cody messages me and of course I am pleasantly surprised as I have felt like things were a bit off between Cody and I since merge happened. He said he wants to call and it ends up being one of the most emotional calls i have had in a while, even in real life. Through our call, we realised that we have basically had the same gut feelings about zack and his behaviour for a while now and we spoke about how zack has been trying to pit us against each other, how controlling and jealous and manipulative he is. We basically realised that the reason we have been so mentally exhausted was BECAUSE of Zack's paranoia. zack spoke so much game. we were constantly being bombarded and had our trust and loyalty questioned and he thought nothing about throwing My or Cody's names out. All of this just validated and reaffirmed our feelings towards Zack and we decided there and then that we would vote Zack out ASAP. As we were talking, the reultsof the challenge were released and lmao what are the chances that FRIGGEN ZACK WINS IMMUNITY URGGGHHHH. We were reeling and i so much wanted to decompress with Cody but then I had my meeting with the VL draft people so I had to reframe my mindset. Bare in mind that this is all happening at 4am and im under the blankets, with a warm bean bag because it is freezing out. NajwahI actually loved my conference call with Ellie, Raffy and Tim. What awesome people. I wish i wasn't as distracted or could articulate better because I feel as though my mind was all over the place but i also took the opportunity to ask for their advice and guidance post my call of revelations with Cody. It was still fresh in my mind and they gave me some GOOD pointers. They also told me how I should approach the game moving forward. I loved how they all had such different approaches. Raffy made me laugh so much. They told me how to deal with Zack too. So some other ish went down after this call.

Najwah

Cody calls me and is like "lets get on a three way call with Sarah" After gushing about how much we love each other and how we have been on the same page for such a long time, Sarah throws an idea out that sticks. WHY NOT VOTE PEDRO OUT TO ISOLATE ZACK SINCE WE CANNOT VOTE ZACK. And we spent a lot of time freaking out and laughing about how we are going to do that. Cody was frustrated that everyone just assumed he and Zack were a duo and I said its because "Zack and Cody" to which Cody replied "Well this definitely aint the sweet life." Later I suggested that we call the group Mr Moseby and Cody said it was perfect as Zack was the bane of Mr Mosebys existance. Everytime i think about it I laugh. We spoke until my battery died, which was around 6am. I didnt sleep much because I was tasked to get a name out of pedro. I think i was messy there because Pedro accused me of being acting "like a supervisor and demanding a name from him like he is a ring leader" and honestly, it made me laugh so much. He is so dramatic I can't deal. Anyway, he knew what I was trying to do and he called me out and I apologised and honestly felt bad about the whole thing. In the end, I am happy we didn't vote him out. He has loose lips but he is very honest and I like that.

Najwah

So i feel as though there are so many things that happened simultaneously today. Amy L and I are working together on the side, she gives me all the ex maola tea. She told me Maddison has an idol. I haven't used this information yet and I won't now because it will raise questions. I told her that some of us are willing to vote Zack. The funny thing about our chats is that Amy keeps saying we need to share this tea with the VL. Any bit of information I have ever given her, she tells her tribemates she got from James lmao. And whenever I talk about her, I use James and Ryan too. Our alliance is so low key and its such a safe, unpretentious space. We have the best chats and we just spill tea for information's sake. Neither of us are going to use any of the tea. It's great having an in.

Najwah

So all day Zack has been bitching about jay and Raffy and the judges and honestly, I can't even remember what else. It was as though he got a kick out of being verbally abusive. I think he watches too much trashy reality TV, there is a difference between sassy and just plain rude. I also felt that many of his comments were borderline misogynistic. also, whatever information I have given him, he used against Jay. Today was a blur and also intense and also exhausting. I went with Cody to a mall, to visit his friend at a military base, drove around with him, chatted in his room while he was drinking a whole bottle of frozen coke. Like we spoke so much and it was just Zack's constant bitching and paranoia getting to us? Like? How does one person make so many people feel uncomfortable. Cody got on a call with Ben and told him that we had been trying to vote Pedro out and ben went ballistic and said that i am being manipulated by ex moala, he didn't know that we all wanted Pedro out. It made me mad so I called Ben too and asked him why he keeps thinking I want to flip? But he gave me his word and I guess that should mean something. Today was especially exhausting because I had to pretend and entertain Zack until we voted him out. I hated every minute because usually if i find out people talk shit about me, I either talk it out or just not talk to the person at all. I couldnt do that with him. I needed him tio feel safe with me in order for us to pull of the pedro blindside. I wanted to see the look on his face when he realised wtf had just happened. Am i sad that I didn't get that satisfaction? yep.

Najwah

Do I feel Zack should have been removed? Honestly no. I don't agree with it. I think we should have worked with everyone else and voted him out. I genuinely don't think he is a horrible person. In all honesty, I wish we could have met outside this game. I feel as though the game wasn't good for him. Not that i'm trying to justify his actions but I feel as though he got too invested and was too emotionally unstable. Most of us are here to have fun. Sure, it would be nice to win but at the end of the day it's not real life and I would much rather preserve the friendships and connections I've made in this game than win. Winning is nice but it isn't everything. Am i worried about Zack and wonder whether he will have a setback of some sort? Definitely. He has spoken about his crippling anxiety numerous times, which he has also projected time and time again.

Najwah

So Cody feels bad and blames himself for all of this. I don't blame him. I feel bad too. I thought I would feel some sort of relief with zack gone, but it is just guilt. I mean the messages were still sent in confidence and I feel bad for violating his privacy. I also feel bad for entertaining him because of the game. I don't want to be playing so hard that I go against my values. It just feels weird with zack removed. Like he wont be on the jury. I can't stop wondering whether he is okay, as a human to another human. My husband says that the Russel Hantz of Tierra del fuego got removed. It made me laugh a little. He is a survivor super fan too so he is very invested in all of this. Sigh. I may have left some stuff out because its so late and just A LOT has happened but I will keep confessing as I think of things or remember things. Oh lol Ben said he would voted Zack out in a heart beat, Basically we all felt the exact same from the beginning, no one wanted to speak out in fear of being targeted.

Olivia A

Sarah

From last night.... https://youtu.be/EirlyVVXDKk

Ben Kessler

Today was eventful, so I will skip to the end. Situationally, I believe I am not in a good spot at all. There are 11 people left, Pedro will receive votes next tribal, but I would like him to stay. My former tribe it seems as though everyone is closer with others than they are with me, except possibly Aimee but that's a stretch. Today could potentially crash my game. So, what do I do? Hope is not strategy. Tomorrow, I talk to others. I ensure everybody knows how close people are. I play double agent. I make sure I am at least in important conversations to merely be there. I let people know I want to be with them in a group setting. I re-establish that I am here to have a good time. At the end of the day, this both is and isn't monopoly. Strategy is involved, but the rules aren't as specific. You don't know how much money or property people are holding. Situationally, though, it is the same. You work with the hand you are dealt and I intend to make the absolute best of this hand. People will do what they want for a variety of reasons, so I need to let things roll off my shoulders, read, and react. To end this long confessional, I am not hoping for anything. I will be doing things to affect change. If I see it doesn't work, I lay low. Read and react.

Maddison

the pink house has become my safe haven. i shall inhabit her until i can no longer. thank you, pink house, for the many blessings of coins that you have given myself and my allies.

Pedro A

Okay...so i think grae maddison and olivia are voting me....and everyone else is voting maddison (if maddison doesnt use her ring)...and im voting olivia and using kalles idol....idk at this point 2 hours till tribal..and anything can change

Sarah

Plans keep changing every minute but as of right now going into this first Merge tribal, the plan is to vote out Maddison because it seems like Maddison, Grae, and Olivia want to vote Pedro so if they vote Pedro and the rest of us vote Maddison we may could blindside her and we could get an idol out of the game. If she plays an idol, then Pedro still goes home and original Hanuha is saved... but if Pedro wins immunity, of course we will have to rework everything. We may be able to do 4 for Olivia and 4 for Maddison .

Aimee

https://elysiankardia.tumblr.com/post/625017490490179584

Is this really happening? Am I going to vote for who I ACTUALLY want to vote for for once, as a treat? And I getting what I want...and controlling the vote?! Am I in the twilight zone? The name of the game now is to get all of my potential final allies to get along with each other and play nice. My hand is in so many cookie jars I have to be careful, all my relationships trust each other. I already have an army ready to strike if anyone tries to turn on me, and I was forming those relationships genuinely and BEFORE I needed them to come through for me, not last minute where trust would be harder to earn. I literally am running this vote off of Grae and Maddison and onto a different target. Hanuha is so deadest in getting one of the “core three” out and this is the best I can do to protect those two but also not flip on people who I trust from my original tribe. For DAYS they have been so afraid of Grae and Maddison and I’m put in massive work to divert that away from them. My plan is something right down the middle, where I get to have my cake and eat it too. I love the best of both worlds; I’m Hannah Montana!

Maddison

Tonight is going to be a big one. I’ve heard my name and I really don’t want to go home with an idol in my pocket. Better safe than sorry? Olivia AI really hope this vote works out I’m NERVOUS!! Also, I worked really hard on this challenge so getting the disadvantage when I had 2 puzzles left was shitty but I don’t really need the immunity anyway. Still felt really good to finish it out regardless of if I win. :)

Sarah

Amy A

Tribal again and with it, ALLLLLL the drama. So I have made a ‘vote four’ alliance w Kalle, Ben and Pedro which is supposed to be secret. Which makes it two secret alliances I’m a part of 😂😂😂😂😂😂. The alliance w Najwah is definitely the one I’m most loyal to but Pedro and co seem like a really solid group I can work with. I didn’t think I’d win immunity so there’s that. About tonight’s vote, the new ‘core four’ is aiming for Grae but in order to keep the alliance a secret, only Pedro will vote for her. It’s all exciting stuff and I KNOW tonight’s tribal is going to be THE ONE. Cannot wait.

Olivia A

I really hope this vote works out I’m NERVOUS!! Also, I worked really hard on this challenge so getting the disadvantage when I had 2 puzzles left was shitty but I don’t really need the immunity anyway. Still felt really good to finish it out regardless of if I win. :)

Aimee

Nooooo I didn’t need Olivia to win immunity. That way she is one of the “core 3 Maola” out. Oh man I don’t think I can save my game and Maddison at the same time. I got the target off Grae after merge happened. I worked so hard for that so this all wasn’t for nothing. There’s like fifteen minutes before tribal and I’m still not entirely sure what is going to happen.

#episodes

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inkstainedfanfics · 7 years

Text

Chasing Ghosts

Request: I rly love your blog a lot!! I was wondering if I could request a newtxreader song fic with the song "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap? Where the reader tries to warn Newt about Leta, but he gets mad and they have an argument? Then he loses contact with the reader for several years and tries to find her, but each time he gets close to finding her, she gets farther away? Really angsty please??? Thank you so much!!!❤️❤️❤️"

Word Count: 4,359

Pairing: Newt x Reader (Platonic)

Tag List: @dont-give-a-bother @red-roses-and-stories @caseoffics @myrtus-amongst-the-stars @ly--canthrope @studyforthreehands @whatinbenaddiction @thosefantasticbeast2 @benniesgalaxy

A tinge of despair so intense it seems tangible still clouds Newt’s mind as he digs into the box of mementos, deeper and deeper until his dirt-caked nails crack against the bottom of the wooden crate. Nothing of significance. Nothing of importance. Nothing of use to him unless he wants to remember.

Cursing, he shoves himself to his feet. This room, this hall, this house is all useless junk now. He may as well burn it down; it’s not as if you’ll be returning at any point, not now that you know he’s discovered it. With a growl, he kicks the box, sends it tumbling onto its side. Its guts spill out, rolling across the ground, creating a mess that will remain until the landlord comes knocking for the next month’s rent. Already, it’s too late. You’ve vanished, and the short and chubby landlord with the beady eyes and missing smile won’t be able to track you down.

My fault, my fault, my fault.

No, finding you is Newt’s job, and he’s determined to do it.

A layer of fresh snow rests over the sidewalk and crunches under Newt’s feet as he trudges through the thick snow of Prague. Midnight’s dark has left the lantern lit road empty except for Newt and a few shady figures slinking in side streets. The chill of the air nips at his cheeks, turning them a faint pink, and his fingers are frozen in their curve around the handle of his suitcase. He pushes forward, eyes set on the hotel resting at the edge of the city.

“Hey, honey. How’re you doin’ tonight?”

Newt glances at the woman leaning in the alley just ahead of him. Her hair’s pinned up in a tight updo, curled against the base of her neck despite the temperature. Strands of it slip free from their pins, drooping in gentle curls to brush the collar of her fur jacket, a warm looking coat Newt knows he doesn’t want to know the history behind.

“I’m quite fine, thank you.” He ducks his head, striding forward, hurrying.

Her heels click against the pavement, cutting through the snow with ease. “Awe, come on, don’t run away. I just want to help. You look lost.”

“I’m quite all right.”

“You sure, honey? I’m a native to this place. I could help.”

It occurs to Newt that this woman is speaking English with no noticeable accent, but he brushes the questions away. A woman in her line of work must have plenty of talents. “I really must be going.”

Still, she follows him, feet steady even with the fresh snowfall and the patches of ice. “I ain’t gonna hurt you, darlin’. I promise.” When Newt says nothing, just scans the alleys, she laughs. “I ain’t got no friends with me, darlin’. You’re safe. Say, what’s in that suitcase o’ yours?”

“Clothes.” Partly true, at least.

“Ah, so you’re stayin’ at a hotel now, are you?”

“No.”

“No? Then what’re you doing? Ooo, can I guess?”

Newt says nothing, just continues forward. Two blocks left.

“You look like a fancy businessman with that jacket. So’s it for business?” She peers up at him, keeping in step surprisingly well. “No? Hmm, what’s a good-lookin’ man like you doin’ here, then? A woman? No? Come on, honey, you can tell me.” She draws her hands from the fur-lined pockets, grabbing onto Newt’s arm. “Oh, I know.” She lowers her voice to a whisper. “It’s a friend, ain’t it?”

Newt’s pace quickens. He shouldn’t be here.

“That’s right, ain’t it? You’re here to see a friend. Well, sir, ain’t that special.”

“I’m sorry, I really must be going.” He tries to shake her hand free from his arm, but she’s clinging to him, grip so tight it hurts. One block.

“I know, an old friend. Someone you ain’t seen in a while.”

Newt’s stomach turns as the stranger continues.

“You had a fallin’ out, didn’t you? I bet it was over another girl.”

Newt grits his teeth.

“Ooo, I hit a nerve.” She giggles. “You know, I bet if you knew this girl, she’d still have a message for you. Something like, oh, I don’t know, an old scribble on some parchment.” Then she opens her hand, revealing a scrap of fluttering parchment, yellowed with age.

Newt halts, sucking in a breath and snatching it from her hands, unfolding the paper. It’s just a small doodle he’d given you for Valentine’s day in the fifth year, after you’d been upset about receiving nothing. “Where did you get this?”

The woman backs away from Newt, covering her mouth as she giggles yet again. “Oh, honey, she don’t miss you. She finds this chase a bit of fun, that’s all.”

Newt blinks away the surprise, curling the scrap in a fist and staring at the woman. “You know her?”

“How d’you think she’s avoiding you, honey? She’s a smart one you let get away.”

Newt breathes through parted lips, numb. Here she is, a contact, a method of reaching you if only he can conjure the right word. “Take me to her. Please.”

She shakes her head, leaning against a post. “Can’t do that. She won’t appreciate it.”

“Please. You don’t know who she is.”

“An old ghost, right? Well, honey, you’re just a zombie chasin’ her around. “

“Tell her I’m sorry. Please. Please just tell her that for me.”

“Can’t. She won’t hear it. She don’t miss you, and she wants you to know: she’d have already forgotten your name if you weren’t chasin’ her everywhere.”

The words slam into Newt’s chest like a brick, but he just shoves his hand in his pocket, digging for his wallet. “Please. Whatever you want is yours. Just tell me where she is.”

The woman shakes her head at his begging. “Sorry, honey. You messed up.”

Newt’s shaky breath forms clouds in the cold air, clouds that shoot forward with every frenzied word, “Please. I just want to apologize. You understand, right? Please give me a chance to apologize.”

For a moment, Newt thinks she’s going to agree, thinks she’s going to sigh and relent and drag him to wherever you are. He believes he’ll finally have a chance to apologize and make it up and the two of you can return to who you were, can work together, can talk the way you did for six years, the way you did when he was truly happy.

But instead she shakes her head again. “It’s just not gonna happen, honey. Best advice I can give you is to let her go.”

“Please.” He whispers.

She gives him a look of pity, so imperceptible he wonders if he truly saw it, then she’s gone, apparates away without another word, and Newt’s alone on the snow-covered sidewalk, fingers frozen and eyes shut. He was close, so close, and still you slipped away from his fingers.

Uncurling his fist, he stares at the doodle. It’s nothing intricate or ornate, just a tiny niffler holding a heart with your name in it. It isn’t Newt’s most complex or even well executed drawing, but you’d lit up when he handed it over. The day after receiving it, you’d proudly displayed it in the middle of a worn, gold locket so old the clasp no longer worked. You’d declared the drawing a treasure, something you would never choose to part with.

Yet here Newt stands, alone under the star-studded black sky, with a pink nose and the drawing clutched in fingers growing so numb the rational part of his mind fears frost-bite’s fury.

Though he knows he’ll find nothing but an empty room, Newt marches the final block to the hotel room, heart as numb as his fingers.

“What have you heard?” Newt asks the question as casually as possible as he lifts a frame from Theseus’s office desk. It’s a picture of his brother and nephew, taken months prior, just before Newt disappeared into the Andes for three months.

Theseus pours himself a drink and gestures to a second glass, shrugging when Newt shakes his head. “You know, little brother, I’m not sure you’re sincere when you say you visited solely to check up on how Marvin is doing.”

“He’s a charming boy.”

“True. But something tells me you’re here for a more selfish reason.”

Newt lifts an eyebrow. Theseus, never able to be straight to the point, even when it truly matters. “Such as?”

“A girl, perhaps?”

“Yes, well, you’ve always had little faith in me.”

Theseus laughs at this, his wide, galumphing laugh he usually reserves for important business meetings here in his private office. “I think a better way of putting it is that I’ve always known you better than you’re willing to admit.”

Newt shifts weight from foot to foot, setting the photo back on the desk, suddenly irritated. He’s standing here, surround by glass cabinets and a desk covered in official papers while you’re out there, Merlin-knows-where, just waiting to learn of Newt’s whereabouts and disappear again. He wonders for a moment what joke you would make about this place, about how stuffy it is even with the open windows, about how a war hero can’t take out his own trash. He can hear your voice in his mind. It’s been how long? 6 years since you last spoke? And still Newt can hear you as clear as day.

The sound brings a smile to his face, a smile that Theseus unfortunately misreads and misunderstands as a response to some joke of his own.

“See, I can be funny sometimes.”

Newt shoves his hands in his pockets to hide the quick beat he’s tapping against his side. If Theseus sees, he’ll know. He’ll know how desperately Newt wants this, how important this is, and there’s nothing Theseus wants more than to believe this is just Newt chasing down an old friend as a hobby. “A real comedian. Now, if you don’t mind, the information?” He tilts his head to the clearly marked file in the middle of the desk.

Theseus takes a sip of the whiskey, staring out the window and into the field behind the office building, suddenly solemn. “You know, I was surprised when I first came out here. They gave me the address, and I almost didn’t show up. The place seemed likely to be crowded by buildings and people.” He sighs, almost sadly, as though remembering some far-off memory, and despite Newt’s unrest, he pauses to listen to Theseus. “I couldn’t stand being trapped, feeling like I had no escape. The war, believe it or not, was not as easy as I make it seem.” He smiles, but it’s bitter. “I spent plenty of nights there wondering about our family, where you were in the field, whether mum at home was safe, whether pa would be proud. I can’t tell you how many nights I had nightmares after hearing about ambushes on troops…” Shaking his head and clearing his throat, Theseus continues with a stronger voice. “When I came home, I met Helen. You know that, but there were many nights I spent alone before marrying her when the nightmares would return. It wasn’t until we’d been married for four months that I realized I hadn’t had any nightmares since that first night. Being with her, having her there at my side was enough.”

He pauses, collecting his thoughts. “I wasn’t sure if I’d take the job, but when they showed me the office and the field back there, I knew I had an escape, a place to go should anything become too much. Helen agreed to meet there if I ever needed someone. She could apparate in with no worries about muggles, no need to wait for muggle technology to bring her to me like we would need in the city. The moral of this long-winded story, I guess, is to find someone to escape to, like Helen, and somewhere free, like this field.”

Theseus stops, then, still staring at the grass waving in the wind.

“I’m happy for you.” Newt’s quiet. You were that for him at one time, the person he could walk to when his nose bled or Leta said something or a creature passed. You were his escape before he ruined it all.

“As am I.” He lets out a sigh heavy with the weight of a war, “Listen, Newt, I know you miss her. But is she right for you? Are you certain? Was she the person you went to when it all became too much, when you couldn’t forget the worst parts of your past? Because you need someone, Newt, and you can’t settle with a ghost. You need someone present.”

“She’s my best friend.”

“Does a best friend abandon you and avoid you?”

Newt wants to shut his ears, to grab the folder and leave because, yes, this was his fault. Who else would have managed to ruin a friendship with someone so patient? “It’s my fault.”

“You know that’s not true. It was the timing, the circumstances. Not you. Even if it was, if she was meant to be your escape, she’d be here today, Newt. You know that.”

For some inexplicable reason, Newt’s eyes are watering. He knows this is his fault, has thought it through time after time after time, and he’s never come up with any other answer. But Theseus’s words waver in his head, offer a relief from the guilt wracking his nerves, and he desperately wants to accept them and remove the burden from his shoulders.

But he can’t, he reminds himself. It’s his fault.

His voice is weaker than he wants when he talks next. “Just give me the information, Theseus.”

Theseus swirls his drink, not looking away from the field. “You can see it on the desk. Take it, if you’d like, but I’m not feeding this habit anymore. You need to give her up, Newt, before you burn yourself out and miss life.”

Newt steps forward and swipes the folder, ignoring the tears gathering in his eyes. This is ridiculous. Theseus is ridiculous. It’s not burning him out. No, he’s in the wrong, he was the one that pushed you away, he was the one that cut you off, he was the one making bad decision after bad decision and all you wanted to do was help. You were a friend, and yet Newt turned his back on you when you asked for help, for somebody to listen, for a friend. He let them all say that about you right in front of him, and he did nothing. He owes you nothing less than an apology.

If only you’d let him give you one.

Shame floods his cheeks, a dark red wave crashing against him and making it hard, hard to think, to breathe, to want to move.

But you’d returned the drawing, the gifts, his personalized notes and the only picture you’d kept of the two of you. The thought fractures him, drags him deeper into that despair that’s all too common now. Maybe you don’t want him back.

Maybe he should stop looking.

But no, that’s wrong, he knows, because he owes you, he owes you so much that he can’t give. You were his real friend, and he’d just left you like it meant nothing.

Clenching his jaw, he shakes his head. No, this is foolish, letting Theseus get in his head like this. His older brother may mean well, but he’s not in this situation. He’s never done something so horrible. Newt just needs to keep trying, keep tracking.

Shutting his eyes to apparate, he pictures you the way you looked that day, tears on your cheeks, backing away.

With a pop, he disappears to read the files in peace.

“So sorry. Excuse me. Pardon me.” Merlin’s beard, how do people stand being packed together like this every day? How do they not tire of rubbing shoulders with a stranger or bouncing through a crowd, shoved by everyone? New York, Newt decides, is a mess.

Theseus’s information had led him here, to this city, to a specific apartment building. The first trip for something related to you in a long time. Too long. It’s been a year since his last lead in Prague. A year and half since California, two since Brazil, three and a half since Cairo. He’s not even certain how long ago Chicago, Ottowa, Moscow, and Glasgow were. All he knows is that it’s been too long since he saw you and made you smile.

But when’s the last time she made you smile?

Newt shakes the thought from his head, cursing Theseus for implanting any ideas about your own culpability. This isn’t your fault, can’t be. Newt’s the annoying one, the awkward one.

Flinching at his thoughts, he makes his way from the train station, dodging people left and right, gripping the suitcase in his right hand, left hand dug deep in his pocket to be certain the drawing doesn’t drift out.

Five blocks of dodging people and suddenly he’s there, in front of the tilted building. It certainly isn’t as glitzy as some of the previous establishments you’ve rented. It’s not grand or towering or at the end of a picturesque road lit by starlight and lanterns. No, this building is an ugly grey, its foundation sticking up from the ground, every third window seems to have some sort of crack in it, and the railing may fall the next time someone touches it.

Checking the apartment number, Newt pulls open the creaky door and steps inside. Steps wind up the side of the narrow entry way. The floor overhead squeaks, and Newt questions the safety of taking the stairs when the wood of the first step bends low under his weight.

You’re here, though, just five stories overhead, forgiveness only a staircase away, so Newt begins the climb. Nobody stops him. The only signs of life he sees are a couple of tomcats darting after rats the size of Newt’s hand.

He wonders if Theseus’s information was correct as he makes his way to your door. A muted song leaks under the door frame, and before he can let himself consider the consequences, he knocks.

Three minutes pass. Three agonizing minutes.

Finally, the music stops and the door creaks open.

Newt’s spent hours imagining meeting you again. The dreams always consisted of smiles and tea and spending hours reconnecting and sharing stories, watching your eyes light up as you weave tales about traveling to various cities, hearing the excitement in your voice, finally finding his best friend again.

You just stare at him from the crack, careful, eyes watching his every move.

“I, um,” Newt clears his throat. “I’ve been looking for you.”

You still say nothing, so Newt gestures behind you.

“May I step in?”

You eye him for another second before nodding and stepping away.

The room’s a wreck. There appears to be only one offshoot for a bathroom, and Newt has to bend to step in through the doorway. The walls are the same draining grey as outside, cobwebs infest the upper corners of the room, the two windows are both grimy with a substance Newt doesn’t dare try to identify, and the small record player in the middle of the room is dented in three different places. He’s hesitant to set his case down, doing his best to avoid a pile of dust.

He conjures up a joke, one that would normally make you laugh, but you don’t even flinch. “I thought Hogwarts dorms were cramped.”

You cross your arms, leaning against the wall farthest from him. “What are you doing here?”

Newt swallows, a mix of relief and shame and the culmination of so many years of grief knotting up and climbing up his throat, cutting off his voice. He has to clear his throat twice and stare at a ball of dust on the ground before he can talk. “It’s been some time, hasn’t it?”

You cock your head. “Has it?”

“Six years?”

“Seven.” You plaster a strained smile on your face. “If you count sixth year as a loss, that is.”

“I’m sorry.” Sixth year, when you’d come to him, tears in your eyes, blood on your face, and he’d let Leta drag him away. Sixth year, when he saw you boiling in the hall after someone singled you out, and he’d walked past with a bowed head. Sixth year, when he’d chosen Leta over you, when he’d called her a better person, when he’d as good as wrecked the friendship with a single word.

“You don’t get to be sorry.” You spit out, words as bitter as they had been when you’d confronted him by the lake and he’d chosen to leave. The immediacy of your anger surprises Newt, but he doesn’t challenge it. No, he deserves this.

“I know.”

“You don’t get to be sorry when you’ve chased me around the globe trying to make up for something that was all your fault. You can’t keep following me, Newt. We’re done, don’t you understand that?”

Newt blinks, dropping his eyes to the ground. “Of course.”

“You ruined this.”

He did. That’s what he’s best at, after all. Mid-twenties with no friends to speak of. You left, then Leta left. He never formed any lasting connections otherwise.

Wandering the world searching for you had been a lonely endeavor.

“You were the one that left me, Newt, don’t forget that. I had a bloody nose from being punched and you let her drag you away. I had to heal myself.”

You’re supposed to forgive him like he forgave you for letting him walk away, for not bothering to fight, for ignoring him even after the experiment exploded in his face. Sure, he messed up, but he needed someone after the expulsion. You hadn’t even written a short letter.

Would a best friend abandon you?

Newt’s sharp breath startles you into silence, though the deep lines in your forehead don’t disappear. “You abandoned me.”

You recoil from the accusation. “Why should’ve I stayed when you’d been sure to let me know where I sat on your list of important friends?”

Would a best friend abandon you?

“Because you were my friend.”

“You made it clear that I wasn’t.”

Newt shuts his eyes; Theseus was right. “You were.” He finally forces himself to look at you again, to meet your gaze. “You were all I had after the experiment.”

If Newt isn’t imagining things, if it isn’t his desperation simply creating illusions, he swears he sees tears form in your eyes. From guilt? “You were being so selfish, Newt. I was your friend. How could walk away from me for her? How could you do that to me?”

“I was wrong.” Merlin, the words feel good to say. “But all due respect, so were you.” He peers up at you from under his flop of hair.

“How could you blame this on me?” You sound furious, but the tears spilling over the bottom of your lids alter the tone, turn it into one of grief. An emotion Newt knows all too well.

Newt’s own misery is dwindling, a sudden clarity replacing it. “I tried to apologize.”

“Three years later. After Leta left you.”

“I was a fool. And I couldn’t understand what I chose then. I promise, I wouldn’t make that choice again.”

You run a hand across your cheeks. “It’s too late. It’s too late.”

Newt’s heart breaks, a simple break that cracks right down the center. “You can’t forgive me?”

You wait, Merlin’s name, you consider the question, try to find it in yourself, but the hesitation is only a worse fate for Newt when you meet his eyes again and shake your head. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”

Newt shuts his eyes, breathes out, then opens his eyes again and smiles a smile that could never pass as genuine. “I’m sorry, truly, for any pain I’ve caused you.” Then he reaches into his pocket, pulling out the parchment paper. “I was hoping you would accept this, for my sake.” He steps across the room and holds it out toward you. “I know I’m not in the position to ask for anything, but I can’t bear the sight of it, not when it belongs with you.”

You reach forward, hand shaking the slightest, and accept the gift for the second time in your friendship. Newt turns, lifting his case, and starts toward the door.

“I missed it, you know.” You say, stopping him.

Newt doesn’t turn, just stares at the doorknob in front of him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You stop, but Newt, despite the many years separated, knows you well enough to wait for the rest of your response. “Thank you.”

He nods and pushes the door open. “Best wishes.”

It clicks behind him, muting the ‘best wishes’ you echo back.

No tears fill his eyes, nor anger his chest. No, all Newt knows now is an exhaustion planted in his bones years ago, now taking root and begging him for a long nap.

Newt steps onto the staircase and nearly drops his suitcase when someone runs into him.

She shouts, a small noise, and grabs the railing. It groans but somehow holds. “Mercy Lewis, that could’ve been bad! Are you okay, sir?”

Newt steadies himself and nods. “Quite fine. Now if you don’t mind…” He gestures to the staircase behind her.

She glances back then realizes what he means. “Oh, of course, sorry. Sir, are you sure you’re all right? You look a bit upset.”

Newt ducks his head in a nod. “I’m quite fine, simply in a hurry, is all.”

The woman gathers her grey coat against her, wincing when it pulls a strand of her chin-length black hair. “Of course, I understand. Sorry for running into you. I really should be paying more attention to where I’m going.”

Newt squeezes past her, “No harm done.”

Then he pounces down three floors before apparating back home.

It’s time to visit his brother and his nephew. It’s time to stop chasing a ghost.

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kxlebcross · 4 years

Note

multiples of three, please.

oh man i cant believe ur making me do maths at 4:18 am... but here goes nothing! (it’s gonna be long so i put it under a read more)

3. Ever done any drugs? uhhhh... yeah, for a short period yrs ago i had a friend group and with them we smoked weed pretty much every weekend... they did some hard drugs too but i never dared trying those cuz im a lil bitch lmao aaaaand i don’t do that anymore, it’s an expensive hobby to have and i usually waste my drugs money on pc games and ordering food srgsdfg

6. Describe your dream home. probs somewhere in a big city, close to the center because i love being a big city kid.... a mid-sized flat with lots of plants and those neat cat playgrounds mounted on the wall because i plan on having at least 4 cats in the future asdsd and i’d love to have a bigger balcony which i could transform into a little jungle and hand a hammock there and just chill and listen to the city’s noises at night when i can’t sleep

9. Do you watch porn? you may not believe but i actually don’t sdgsdfg the horny teen phase is over for me, if i wanna interact with anything pornographic i just read fanfiction dfgsdfgsf

12. What’s one of your fantasies? i hope it’s not supposed to be an erotic one lmao but i really wanna go on a road trip through europe, just pack up my shit and drive around, also i wanna visit haunted places all around england and get into the gaming business as a game translator/tester eventually

15. Are you in a relationship? thank god not anymore... and honestly i don’t miss it anymore, all of my previous ones were disasters and ended in a really ugly manner so.. no, i’m all good with my cat

18. What tattoos do you want? i don’t have specific plans for motives - though i’d really like a kitsune mask somewhere and a moon and one song quote. i’d like to have my whole left sleeve done, maybe part of my back, a half sleeve on my right hand and something smaller on my ankle - and i’m actually open to anything the tattooists would pick out; i care more about who’s gonna create my tattoo than what’s it gonna be, as my actually existing 2 tattoos r also premade, randomly picked out ones (though they accidentally matched up in some way and look pretty neat imo)

21. Describe your best friend. that’s a hard one.... i don’t think i have one anymore. i used to have this girl in my life, M, who i was really close to, but we had a fallout in october and she never came around to fix this even though i was open to the idea... so i lost my best friend, which is kinda sad considering that she was the only person i could open up to in the last 3 yrs. but hey that happens! i moved on and have a close friend still so im all good.

24. What are three places you want to travel? i really wanna visit scotland! it has this specific atmosphere i really long to experience, and i wanna see the landmarks and grassy fields and loch ness and haunted places and just roam around there for a while. i also wanna see moscow - it’s been sort of an obsession of mine since reading glukhovsky’s metro series, and also it’s a beautiful city worth visiting. i’d also like to get on the trans-siberian express but that’s not a specific place dsfsgdf the last place would be the aokigahara forest in japan - also one of the places i feel drawn to for ages now. found out about it years ago and since it’s been sort of a plan of mine to visit one time. if i manage to graduate university my mum promised to send me on a trip to japan - so if it works out, ill be on my way there baby! (i just need to work on my language skills first sasdfgf)

27. What’s your pet peeve? loud breathing, loud chewing... generally people being loud and annoying. ppl not covering their mouths while coughing. ppl who walk super slowly and take up all of the walkway like FUCK OFF OF MY WAY GODDAMMIT. in games when the npc walks a lot slower than ur running, but walking a lot faster than ur walking so its impossible to keep up with them. ppl not using headphones in public spaces. old ppl demanding respect when they treat u like shit. ppl forcing their religion on u (im looking at u auntie). ppl slurping their drinks. couples almost f*cking each other in public places... just get a room smh

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message. oh i don’t need to tag them cuz i already got over that shyness and they totes know already that i wanted to talk to them for a while! (i admitted to it in the tackiest, cheesiest, most awkward anon ask i ever sent in to anyone sdfgsdf)

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like? pretty much the same as now, all black and flannels and jeans, cuz i rly thing that major clothes shopping sprees r a waste of money sdfdf but i’d probably own a lot lot more shoes like custom made cat patterned vans and some more nikes and some creepers cuz i wanted to get some of those for like yrs now dfgdfg

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? uhhhh... kind of? not romantic ones tho, i just miss the long talks and the trust and understanding between us. i never got the closure i needed to move on and it still left some bad feelings towards her so its a weird mix of resentment and sympathy, and i try to not think abt it too much.

39. Are you a virgin? hahahahahahahahah, no, really.

42. Describe the hottest person you know. the hottest person i personally know is one of the ppl i used to be on my universitys e-sport team on with dfasd i always had a weak spot for ppl taller than me and hes literally model material with nice cheekbones and the perfect jawline and the best sense of humor ever. though he’s a widowmaker main in overwatch and thats a big big minus for him :(

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on? lmaooooo thats a funny one listen up... so i was fresh out of breakup and wanted to make some friends.... wait for it.... ON TINDER. i live in an university town so i was like kewl imma make some ppl my age (until then all of my friends were A LOT older than me) and have some friends and if romance happens then it happens, w/e. so i set up this bar night with this one guy, i believe his name was David? so David and i meet up for drinks, i grab a gintonic and we sit down to talk... what he never knew abt me is that i am on the adhd spectrum and i have to get my hands busy with smth so i can focus on what im saying otherwise my thoughs r all over the place. so im casually keeping my hands busy with just spinning my locked phone there and back, or just messing around with the lime slice on my glass and at a random moment David goes like “u know.... i hate when ppl cant stop messing around with their phone” and im like ????? dude im literally just spinning it, not even messaging anyone or unlocking it or shit. and he goes on this rant that he always expects ppl to pay full attention to him when talking, looking at him (i never look ppl in the eyes cuz i tend to just go into panic mode from long eye contact and also i think its creepy to just stare at someone constantly) and just not doing anything else except paying attention to him so i go on explaining to him that i need to keep myself busy and im not doing it to annoy him - but he keeps on insisting so i excuse myself to a cigarette (he also hated smokers lmao) and call the widowmaker main friend from the previous question and am like “hey man i have the worst date of my life can u be at this place in 40 minutes and then we hit the night life” and hes like fine so i go back to David and tell him “sorry mate i just remembered i have my last bus home in 30 minutes and the next one is in 1,5 hrs and i really cant stay out that late so can we wrap this up and schedule an other meeting some other time” and hes like fine... got me to the bus stop, i sat on the bus.... got off at the next bus stop, met up with widowmaker main guy and went out for drinks and decided to never go on tinder dates again sdfgsdfg

48. Describe your ideal partner. thats a hard one, hey! but i dont think i have an ideal, guess ill work with anyone whos a decent human being who wont require me to be the housemaid and cook and clean and do everything for them. oh and they totally need to know how to use a washing machine... one of my exes was incapable of this (and here i was thinking that in 2018 ppl saw a washing machine already... looks like i was wrong and im still not over that incident 2 yrs ago). oh and they gotta be fine with the idea of never having kids cuz theres no way im putting myself through raising one of those, im a man of career and money, totally not responsible enough to raise another living human being sdsdgdf

#kush speaks #ask memes #thank u for asking!!!! i had fun answering those actually #kuwentista #answered

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kosmicdream · 7 years

Text

Temp. FFAK Official Timeline

This is a very rough, temp timeline for FFAK. It mostly covers events that have already happened or at least have been mentioned. I dont really cover anything that is happening in the present day timeline lol. I might make edits to this in case i fucked up in places or maybe ill just do a totally new one at some point! you dont even know how messy my actual one is like my god its an ever worse horrible clusterfuck of text. (Also remember, the ffak story has no time travel so dont be worried about that sort of mindfuckery!) enjoy

Years before 1414: Whenever was 600 million years ago i dont want to do the exact math: Evil Mother is born but shes not called that at all cuz she adopts that name later in life but just know she is here and readt to party Lots of stuff happens. like idk. evolution and life. 600 mil years is a long time ok -LALALA -HUMANS AT SOME POINT COME TO BEING.and form civilization and.. all that -modern human society exist! ppl have tvs and such. -Mandragora Worms have gone ‘extinct’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ooooo -??????????? a ton of other stuff. isnt history cool?? kicks legs, yells -mysterious worm break outs all over dmtia. bombs fall. wars. despair! -Grant Lumberman gets a doggy at some point and loves it but then it dies and so does his family and friends and his whole city he is relocated to the Auseklis moon colony (on Dmtia’s moon!) along w/ other Vena Cavian kiddos !!!! (in yr 1414)

YEAR 1415 [Scene From Ch. 11: Pages 3161-3196, 3400-3401] Characters: Randall Aiguille - Age 20 Mr. Rotten (Which was named “Aeschylus” at the time, created by Randall) Crosshatch Unit (sort of) Rembrandt Aiguille - Age 22 Grant Lumberman (Aka, ‘Good Leadman’) - Age 14 Octavian “Otto" Silverberg - Age 15 (I was gonna type up every referenced scene like this then i was like fuck it thats too hard! lol)

Years 1416-1425 ?????????????? (most events likely will be mostly covered in a prequel series.) YEAR 1420: Crosshatch Unit first programmed/built by Randall/Rembrandt Aiguille leadman and evil mother fall in lurv at some point

YEAR 1426 Miracle Baby Crimson is Born (From Good Leadman/Evil Mother worm fuck action yeehaw)

YEAR 1427 -Crimson’s 2 eyes are removed + Evil Mother Believes they are dead and leaves Leadman to work with Tricend -Canary is Born (From Evil Mother, and a King Worm) -Hekatons are made (From The King worm that made Canary, concept of Hekatons is from Evil Mother) -July 8th: Perkons Hatches and will not let anyone near the other 4 eggs!! stay away

YEAR 1428 - Good Leadman (Age 27) and Perkons (6 months old) Meet (Happens in Jan) (Multiple scenes in ch10, continued in Ch11) Perkons turns 1 in July. -Perkons gets a hold of 1 of Crimson’s eyes at some point, turns it into a Knife.

YEAR 1429 - Perkons turns 2 in july and is a fully matured adult. Rest of the 4 hekatons eggs hatch sometime after in that year. -Dievas assumes protective guardian role for his siblings. -Dievas meets Aeschylus. (ch11) YEAR 1430 Perkons turns 3. The rest of the first hekatons are one. During this year they mature to an adult. YEAR 1431 Lauma meets Velns, who is imprisoned. Then shortly after, Perkons confronts Lauma, she is 2, he is 4. So It took place after July 1431. He transforms the 2nd crimson eye into a Spoon in front of her.

Years 1431-1448 (specific dates not all disclosed sry): -Velns/Lauma, Dievas/Laima begin making children. baby baby baby! YEAR 1438 - Crimson (Age 11) is eaten by a Hydragora Queen worm - loosing her human body in the process but gaining a worm one instead. -Crimson runs around in a destroyed city, holding a corpse. Meets Velns who taunts them. -Lauma and Dievas make up, and have their first nest together- a Batch of A/B hybrid eggs. -Lauma is killed by Perkons -Velns is killed by Perkons (Which was also on Dmtia’s Moon, so the moon is destroyed.) -Laima is “killed” by Perkons. (Actually survived, as part of Dievas’ plan.) -Perkons confronts Dievas with the Crosshatch Unit and mention they fight for Peace and under the “Thumb” alliance. Perkons kills Dievas. (scene in ch11) -Laima escapes with A/B Eggs, as well as other hekaton eggs. (and will later form the Ghost Kingdom, which she rules as queen.) ????? many other things happen????? these were some busy years folks

YEAR 1449 -Crimson meets a Helper, Galore the Hekaton, and a Bunny worm (who will later grow up to be agent Paper) in the forests of DMTIA (Ch9) -Galore “meets" her first parents, Lauma and Velns, in some mysterious coma dream thing from listening to crims sexy magical heartbeat (also Ch9) ??????????more events happen??????????? -Galore “Dies” by exploding. Crimson witnesses it. -Bunny wormed named Cirrus “Dies” and is buried in a grave. However, she was only injured she later climbs out only to witness Crimson and Celadon leave in Crimson’s truck and it was the saddest thing ive had to draw ok. i am crying even remembering it ??????????more secret events this was yet another busy and traumatizing year for crimson????????????? -Months later, Crimson (age 23) has a conversation with her third mandragora heart, and ends up having a period sex masterbate-y fantasy that made many readers scream in terror when they read it.(Ch11)

Years 1450-1904 god so much stuff happens during this time, lays on the ground. i mean just fucking look at how much time that is. thats over 450 years lol nbd right

YEAR 1905 -Agent Knife is sent on a remote mission (back to Planet Dmtia) to hunt down one of thumbs most wanted criminals, a man named “SIMON MCGOLD” -After months of searching/failed attempts at locating him, Knife confronts and is stung by Simon’s close personal bodyguard, a queen worm named Nail who is famous for killing over 50,000 Hekatons. (Gaining him the nickname “Hekaton Hunter.” (CH12) -?????????? more stuff happens like you dont even know????????

Years 1906-1924 ??????????? lots of stuff??????? lets laugh at some spoon stuff together tho -Spoon thinks Knife is stupid but weirdly interesting i guess -Spoon tries to pretend hes not in love w/ knife cuz thats like??? g...ay??? -Spoon realizes he’s totally hot for Knife and decides hes gonna totally seduce him -Spoon realizes flirting isnt going well with knife and is actually rly deeply hurt by rejection and so he tries to sleep around w/ other ppl to pretend hes fine cuz w/e!! who cares -Spoon realizes hes totally in love w/ Knife and is devastated by Deeply Gay emotions -Spoon moves in w/ Knife and spoon tries to pretend he is fine w/ just being Knife’s obsessively devotedly loyal but not romantic/sexual partner. just ttly... platonic.. best dude pals..!!! who murder together -Spoon realizes he cannot handle just being friends and attempts to move out cuz he just is having a meltdown -Knifes like chill we’re already dating and Spoon is like “wtf we are?” and knife’s like “why else would i let you move in w/ me” and spoon just stares at a wall for like 12 hrs in shock -They start to officially for real date™ after spoon regains contact with reality -???????stuff??????? -Spoon dresses up as AGENT BEE!!!!!!!!!!!! THE MOST IMPORTANT EVENT IN ALL OF HISTORY HANDS DOWN MARK UR CALENDARS

YEAR 1925 July 8th - Simon (now Agent Spoon) has been in a relationship with Knife for 20 years. He meets Celadon #1. Location is the forests on the moon THUMB HQ. who is rightfully pissed as fuck at him. kick his ass, girl (she does btw) (ch11)

YEAR 1926 -Knife Adopts a tiny perfect adorable fluffball c-type and names him Kurt. -Spoon hates it like more than anything ever -Spoon and Knife end up having to live separately, causing a huge strain in their relationship.

Years 1927-1936 -feeling neglected, Spoon starts to sleep around, including the Crosshatch unit and becomes p close friends w/ them! its actually a positive thing for once. wtf (ch11) -Kurt becomes Agent Fork and works alongside Agent Knife on missions and its adorable and great but knife’s depression is also growing bc he misses spoon

YEAR 1937 Cash Leadman is born! :D

YEAR 1938 Rome Aiguille is born! he doesnt even hate worms at this point! Years 1939-1955 more stuff. ect.

YEAR 1956 -Locket confronts Knife. Knife is so traumatized from meeting a surprise biological child that he has a meltdown and vanishes. he is then believed to have died. -Spoon Explodes from sadness of the news, but does not die. Half of him leaves to Cash Leadman’s house, who convinces him to keep living. He becomes “Scissor”, using her former crosshatch robot body. (ch11) -The other half meets Locket and has his Spoon stolen from him. very sads. Also cant wear thongs anymore (ch11)

YEAR 1957 -At some point during this year, Spoon kills Agent Rock’s dad and also prevents Fork from being able to enter Wibbleworld (his dream). (Scene in ch8) -Fork goes back to prison (guess what, it wasnt his first time goin’ there!)

YEAR 1958-present -the death of rock’s hot dad springs a chain reaction of all his sons trying to kill spoon and getting revenge. Spoon successfully kills them all though lmfao. dont fuck with the leg. -fork breaks up with dollop and she starts stalking him

YEAR 1961 -Dylan and Agent Knife meet in Wibbleworld moon, on July 8th (his birthday) He reveals secrets to her. (ch11) -Dylan/Celadon and Antony believe they are successful at killing Agent Knife on this same day.

YEAR 1962 -Feb 2 - Aeschylus wakes up in LEVEL K of the Crosshatch Colony (The Aiguille Moon) and is escorted by Antony Aiguille (Age 21) and Celadon #1, #2 and #3. Dylan and Barfy show up. (Ch 11) -Dylan tries to convince Antony not to get eaten (and fails) (ch12) -March - A mysterious earthquake and worm outbreak kills 20,000 residents in the Crosshatch Colony. O_O -July 7th - Fork meets Dylan for the first time. :3 (Another serving episode one!) -July 8th: This is where the present timeline begins! Canary wakes up on a platform. Hooray! we made it. i dont feel like typing out the events u can just read the comic i guess lol. farts!

YEAR 1963: Hasnt actually happened yet, but the final feast is said to occur this year!!!!!!! O_O ooo EDIT: one of the events were out of order, but this has been fixed (8/19/2017)

#ffak #feast for a king #ffak timeline #ffak faq

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apocalypto12related · 7 years

Note

Do all of them!

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?

Ye! Sammy! @deziac

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

Um... My family, probably, and no.

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

Kitty! I love kitties!

4: what’s something you really want right now?

an apartment. on a less serious side, um, glasses???

5: are you afraid of falling in love?

Nope! I already have and since we’re poly im sure i will again owo

6: do you like the beach?

so/so. depends on my mood.

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

um... a pull out sofa, does that count? i have a hard time sleeping unless i can fully lie down.

8: what’s the background on your cell?

my old phone was tony my new phone is space. not sure what it’ll be soon. >w>;; considering i need to redownload all the stuff i got off tumblr. :’( i lost all my snapchat stuff, but i moved all of izaya to my computer so that’s fine.

9: name the last four beds you were sat on?

what??? O_o; um... a homeless shelter’s bed and other than that they were all my own??? (not counting the “bed” made of sheets at the one place.)

10: do you like your phone?

i just got a new one!! uwu It has 32GB with it’s own internal storage and I have a 32GB sd card. nwn;; So I have a lot of space~! plus it has a fingerprint sensor and im in love with unlocking it like that owo

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?

prolly not, but when do they?

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

sammy! bc we both got new phhones!

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?

i heard poodles have bad temperaments!! idk about rottweilers!! whichever one is nicer??/

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

emotional!! physical heals!! short time span for pain! emotional might not go away!

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

DONt mmake me chosoelk??! i love both!!! i lovemy fluffy butts and i went to the met in new york!!! it was so cool!!! swords!! armor!! egypt!! aahhhh!!! i cant choose!!

16: are you tired?

im always tired!!!

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?

um... well it’s sammy

so uh, ten years in march owo (technically december was the first time we met!! but we count it as march since that’s when he started talking rly)

18: are they a relative?

no!!

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

it depends on if they changed their personality!! if not then no!! i mean i did get back with sammy but yknow we just count that as a break since we did actually get back together lmao

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

this morning!! she is at work so she’s not too talkative rn!

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

we’re fine with what we’re at!! i don’t need to marry her to make it ‘official’!! we’ve lasted almost 9 years and through some big hardships!! both of us unmedicated and dealing with new medication changes, so i think we’re fine!!

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

of course!! :P

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

two!! my blue sylveon bracelet (i love sylveon, i would wear umbreon but i think i packed it!!!) and my pride rainbow bracelet! i took them off when we were looking for a shelter bc i was scared we’d get denied if they saw obvious gay signs :(

24: is there a certain quote you live by?

not directly!! something along the lines of that there is no set path in life you have to choose which ways you want to twist and turn and they’ll lead you onto new and bigger things.

25: what’s on your mind?

music! stuff for my phone! i have a lot of stuff i need to add to eeet!! it’s only a day oolllddd.

26: do you have any tattoos?

yes! it’s for my kitty who passed away! Her name was luna. I’m sure i’ve posted a picture somewhere.

27: what is your favorite color?

#00C5FF

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

prolly tonight. owo

29: who are you texting?

Sammy owo

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

probably?? lol what.

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

YES ACTUALLY D: idk if it happened any other time, but when we got into the car accident when I told our one friend we were joking about her coming up and hanging with us all my brain said was ‘You shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have done that.’ and again when we went out to the car and it was pretty heavy snow fall. I was like ‘I shouldn’t go.’ my problem with that one was I didn’t want to go, but I didn’t think ‘we shouldn’t go’. but... what can you do now?

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

um. i don’t think i have a super close opposite sex friend. closest would probably be @h0bsyrup

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?

I’m sure Sammy does. >w> I’m not sure otherwise. My followers don’t tell me that stuff.

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Yes omg. Sammy was staring me in the eyes the other day and was like ‘your eyes are pretty’ and i’m like ‘omfg shut up >//

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

if they’re not dating then she’s gonna punch their lights out, so i don’t have to worry.

36: were you single on valentines day?

November 24th, 2008 is when I started dating Sammy. You tell me.

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?

... of course?? wtf is with these kiss questions.

38: what do your friends call you?

Kiki :D

39: has anyone upset you in the last week?

lil bit.

40: have you ever cried over a text?

Um... probably. I can’t remember.

41: where’s your last bruise located?

omg... um i guess undermy belly button is the latest bruise??? i have a lot atm from surgery and being motionless for four days!!

42: what is it from?

Sammy actually like harshly pushed on that area. like when you go to land somewhere with your full weight then you go ‘oh fuck’ yeah.

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

um... recently??? but i guess not as bad as with my mom.

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?

Sammy owo

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

Nah.

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

No.my hair style is like 99% bun.

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?

i dont follow trends i set them.

48: do you make supper for your family?

not recently but i would for sammy and i usually

49: does your bedroom have a door?

i don’t have a “bedroom” atm e.e

50: top 3 web-pages?

tambo.c0m (tumblr), archiveofourown.org (ao3), youtube.com (the three i use the most anyway)

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?

Sammy. xD at least food shopping.

52: does anything on your body hurt?

Abdomen. (:

53: are goodbyes hard for you?

it depends. if it’s unnecessary then prolly. if they’ve fucked me over idc. (i.e. my family trying to replace my mom’s abusiveness, fuck them.)

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

prolly water owo

55: how is your hair?

it’s feeling fine, thank you for asking!

56: what do you usually do first in the morning?

it depends! if it’s my “morning” i wake up and usually bathroom.

57: do you think two people can last forever?

sure but it takes work. it’s not gonna be perfect 24/7 without communication or compromise.

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?

ye. omfg why would you give me nightmares. that’s when i started the rping side of myspce and met that douche wesley. his lying ass made me start self harming. fuck him.

59: green or purple grapes?

i don’t eat grapes .w.;;

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?

sometime in the future! prolly sammy!

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

in an apartment. >w> or at the pompeii exhibit!!!

62: when will be the next time you text someone?

possibly today

63: where will you be 5 hours from now?

lying in bed. :D

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.

struggling to be alive. (eating chocolate chip muffins)

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?

oh god. w8 no. i didn’t like anyone yet. that started like october or shit. ugh my ex. he became an ass. (aside from sammy obvs)

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

sammy!!

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?

um... i don’t think so. i think we were both too tired and stressed. we didn’t get into bed until like 1 and the shelter has us be out of beds by 8:30 x3x;

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

um... ‘i should go back to sleep’ after waking up a third time and distracting myself with the phone

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

yeah,but at least i tried.

70: how many windows are open on your computer?

it’s not *my* computer, so it doesn’t count! ;D (8 but im downloading music stfu)

71: how many fingers do you have?

i have 10. my one pinky counts as a half finger sometimes though. i broke it and bc i didnt have insurance i never went to a doctor to get it fully take care of so it healed up all wrong.

72: what is your ringtone?

default at the moment!

73: how old will you be in 5 months?

oh fuck i’ll be 24. man if you asked me that back in june i’d be like ‘still 23 (;’ but no. my bday is december

74: where is your mum right now?

She passed away. :/

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

I realize that as much as I wanted to believe it was love, it never fully blossomed into that until I was with Sammy. I don’t think I’ve truly ever gotten to love anyone else, but that’s okay.

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

of course owo sammy and i are hella gay don’t u know.

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

i believe so owo we just don’t talk as much bc im a lazy sack of shit.

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

fuck. i think i had a minor crush on some dude who also liked green day but never fuckin talked to me so i never bothered. that might’ve also technically been when i started liking wesley. does billie joe from green day count?

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?

personally? uh.... i’m not totally sure o-o; fuck me man.

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

probably wait yes. sammy. spooning is our fave position.

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?

e.e no one that wasn’t a celebrity.

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

no bc shelter e.e

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?

:P i talk to them everyday.

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

i wouldn’t get drunk! i wouldn’t scream at ppl! that’s rude! ppl usually can’t even hear you when you yell at the window! we hear ‘whoosh’ with your voice in the middle’

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?

i would be concerned since she’s said she doesn’t like them!!

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

um... oh! a conversation started and a lil girl asked if we were in a certain theatre and I said ‘no we were in theatre blah’ so I asked what they went and saw. She said “Wonder Woman” “hey we just came out of that, too!” :P

87: who was your last received call from?

.3.; sammy

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

i-i’m torn??? i needm oney but poor butter-san... ;____;

89: what is something you wish you had more of?

money. clothes maybe

90: have you ever trusted someone too much?

yeah. lmao.

91: do you sleep with your window open?

i usually do! esp in the winter/summer! need air and love cold!

92: do you get along with girls?

ye!

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

no. owo

94: does sex mean love?

no! sex is something that can bring someone closer, but it is not necessary for a relationship!

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

>3>;;; again, no.

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

owo; indirectly. i shared a drink with someone who had one. xD

97: did you sleep alone this week?

not this week! :D last week. ;~; at the hospital.

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

yes. >3>

99: do you believe in love at first sight?

no!!! that’s not love!! you might end up loving them but you can’t love someone unless you know them!! :c otherwise it’ll lead to some bad decisions!! D:

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?

OwO Sammy I think.

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bb-bambam · 7 years

Text

question tag

thanks for tagging me @yieniall i love u so much!!! i tag @jacksonwangtastic @jongdaesi @jongins-laugh @cutepimook @jungkookies-cookie only if u want to do it ofc!!

1| how old were you when you had your first kiss?

15 rip lmao 2| What made you decide to have a tumblr blog? for my main blog: soccer and merlin (the tv show) tbh lmaooo and for this blog it was the fact that someone told me 2 tag all my kpop and i was like lmao okay time to Make A New Blog 3| Been depressed: y e a i’m really really trying to overcome this but obvi it’s not easy and there are some rly hard days expecially considering i’m not at home where i can get support from ppl who i trust to talk abt these types of things 4| how many people have you fist fought? lmfaoooo none 5| do you want to have kids? how many? sure do!! probably 2 or 3 !! 6| Do you want to change your name: nah i’m okay with my name 7| Right or left handed: right 8| do you have piercings? how many? my ears (just one in each) and my nose (left nostril)! 9| who was the last person you cried in front of? lmfao one of my college friends bc we watched train to busan and i completely couldn’t handle it i cried 3 times 10| do you believe in soulmates? ya!! i love the idea and i fully believe that everyone has a half that they can find somewhere, whether it be platonic or romantic

11| Zodiac sign: by birth gemini but by personality/temperament/everything else cancer lol! 12| Do you have a dream job? not particularly but i do like the idea of doing smth for nasa or some space-related program someday

13| A crush: there’s this rly cute girl who i literally have never talked to in my life nor do i know her name but she’s so ideal i always catch myself staring at her when i see her walking around campus lmao 14| What do you like about yourself: my hair!!! it’s rly super long rn and i want to cut it but i also don’t bc i’m proud of how i’ve maintained it for so long!! 15| Right now eating: nothing lmaoo it’s 10 pm!! 16| who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? avani of Course 17| Height: 5′5″ 18| what is/are/were your best subject(s)?

math (especially calc 3 which i LOVE LOVE LOVE), physics, spanish (?? somehow), chem, bio (i hate both chem and bio tho lmfao)

19| Met someone who changed you:

does avani count lol i would say probably my best friend bc he really has helped me a lot especially when i was recovering from my worst period of depression and to this day i’ve never met another person who i connect with so well and who i can talk to the way i can with him and idk we’ve gone through our ups and downs but i trust him with my life and idk it’s just really nice to have someone who fits so well with me and can just randomly come over to my house for a family dinner and be unquestioningly welcomed by my whole family

20| do you like someone: is this supposed to be like,,, a crush bc wasn’t this already asked?? lol but idt that counts as “liking” her bc i don’t even know her!! it’s just a crush lol

21| I’m about to: work on my math take-home exam!!! fun stuff -__-

22| do you believe everything happens for a reason? to some extent yeah, but there are some things that i feel like just. can’t be explained or justified 23| Sports I joined: soccer and cross country, but currently i only dance 24| what’s irritating you right now? the fact that i STILL haven’t started either of the two papers i have due on monday lmao 25| do you give out second chances too easily? maybe...my mom always tells me i’m too nice for my own good and that people can easily take advantage of me which is possibly true but i wouldn’t rly know tbh 26| What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i really really wish i had listened to my parents when they tried to make me learn hindi and marathi :/// i always feel so lost when we go to india and it sucks 27| are you mean? i try not to be as much as i can :(( 28| Cried when someone died: so so many times :( when two of my cats died, when my grandparents passed away, and also sometimes when i read news of someone i don’t even know who died i cry 29| Blood type: i’m gonna be honest...i have no clue 30| If you could meet ANY Korean CELEBRITY (Includes Actors, Models, K-Music artists, etc.), who would it be? exo without any doubt at all including the ex members :((( and got7!!

31| Birthday: june 13 32| Been drunk and thrown up: no lmaooo but i did get tipsy off two glasses of wine once and off one shot of soju another time so ya i don’t have the best tolerance lmfaooo 33| are you scared of spiders? i’m terrified of pretty much all moving creatures 34| What would you like to achieve (or experience) before the age of 60?

i want to live in spain for at least some portion of my life!! and also go to an exo concert rip

35| What do you wish for the most to happen? this may sound dumb but for ppl to wake up and realize that issues like global warming and racism are?? real things??? wtf 36| is cheating ever okay? absolutely never never never 37| Do you have any pets: mi babie cats!!! i love and miss them 38| When did you get into kpop and how? december 2015! it was all thanks to avani who showed me danger by bts (yes they were my first group but anyway) it all escalated from there!! 39| Favorite animal? cats <333 40| Love at first sight: i think it’s possible to experience attraction at first sight and the love comes later bc you need to really know a person to really “””love””” them just my opinion idk 41| how do you want to die? peacefully hopefully! 42| Lips or eyes: eyes!!! 43| Hair length: mine is almost past my hips now!! 44| would you go back in time if you were given the chance? lmao as long as no world-ending paradoxes would occur 45| who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? a guy in my abnormal psych class for a group project lmfaooo 46| how exactly are you feeling at the moment? pretty good since i have some nice exo blasting in my room rn 47| Laughed until you cry: soooo many times lmfaooooo 48| favorite food? i’m a sucker for chocolate chip cookies lmaooo 49| when was your last physical fight? LMAO with avani like,,,, 10 years ago?? idk when we stopped fighting physically and became Friends but let me tell u...we were not always the way we are now lmfaooo 50| Do you believe in yourself: on occasion lol

#personal #things to know #this is so long omg sorry if i rambled for anything!!

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okreadyscenarios · 7 years

Text

Astro Ships: literal-ktrash

Hi Hi Nessa~. I'm not good at this but here I go~ hehehe. For ship request: I would say I'm an optimistic person, but if I'm in a bad mood I'm more of a realist. I enjoy all subjects, but my favorites are astronomy, physics, and anything having to do with writing/english. I'm a perfectionist with body-image issues (regarding myself) and am a bit too judgmental/critical of myself. I cry both when I'm sad and frustrated, and I'm a ball of emotions. I love cringey humor and puns, and I laugh a lot!

I wouldn't say I have a hard time making friends when I try, I just get lost in my own head when I'm in public and don't really approach people. I can't go anywhere without music, it's my lifeline (I basically only listen to KPop nowadays, but I used to listen to Pop and Hard Rock).

I really want to be an international english teacher, because I love learning other languages and understanding other cultures, and I believe english is the language that binds people around the world since it's used for business and the like~, so I believe it's important to learn at least some. I also love writing and have a love for poetry and novels - my dream is to write a poetry book in at least 3 languages one day.

I think anything is possible (even aliens! our universe is so big! how could they not be real?) and encourage people to dreams with all their hearts, so they can give their life their all! I care deeply for my friends and constantly worry about them, and I'm usually the "mom friend". I've been through depression and have relapses every now and then.

I know it sounds weird, but I can sense ghosts (O.O) - which is why I'm nervous around hospitals, I get all freaked out, my head hurts and my chest feels heavy when I'm in one. I'm also afraid of driving (which I'm working through now!). I believe people have lived many lives, that our souls get another chance to live if our past lives have been short or have been taken away from us too soon. I'm afraid of never finding love and ending up alone in my old age.

I also think everyone has soulmates - family, friends, and lovers, the people in your life are around you for a reason~ and maybe they've known you in another life! I'm a huge LGBTQ+ supporter. I'm not very religious, but I believe the only way to find god is through all religions - having the ability to see the world through as many people's eyes as possible, and understand those around us.

I think everyone deserves respect, from your grandmother to the local drug addict in jail, we're all just humans trying to figure out how to live ^-^. I love all animals (I actually spent like 10 minutes yesterday holding a lizard and calling him "friend"😂), but my favorites are dogs, cats, and horses. I've been a horseback rider for about 7 years and never get tired of it. I tried every sport under the sun in middle school, but never got the hang of basketball (I'm too short 0w0).

I used to get hit with the ball in soccer and volleyball, so I'm a bit scared of sports balls now. I'd rather be called cute/adorable than hot/sexy any day, and I melt when people give me pet names~. I want to learn to sing, dance, kick box, and pole dance (interesting combo, right?). I couldn't tell you what my favorite color is, I don't like discriminating against other colors (kekeke).

I also can't pin a favorite ice cream flavor, but I think eating ice cream with company makes it taste better (goes for any food honestly!). I want to travel a lot when I get older, taking pictures of scenery and cultures. I ADORE nature, and would choose the mountains over the beach any day! I love winter and I'm not a huge fan of the sun/heat. I'm a huge mommy's girl, she's my best friend and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her~.

I blush easy and have never been in a relationship/on a date (^////^) so I'm quite innocent. My spirit animal is Stitch (since my birthday is 6/26 and he is Experiment 626!!) and I also just really love Stitch! I don't think I have an ideal type, but I want someone funny, who loves me for me ^^. Sorry if this was all over the place! I tried my best *hides my face* (I would like to apologize for how long this was~ hehehe ^\\\^)

((It’s quite alright, dear! ^u^ I tried to use as much info from your request as I could, but I was worried to make it too long;; I hope this is alright! <3))

I ship you with JinJin! <3

Explanation + Fluff:

OKAY LISTEN I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING;;

BUT IT’S NOT JUST BC HE’S YOUR BIAS >o<;;

you guys are just rly good at picking compatible biases??

but honestly JinJin’s perfect for you <3

he reminds you not to be so hard on yourself

and to love yourself, you know~?

you love him unconditionally and he does the same for you~

you two are a good balance for each other

bc JinJin’s rly optimistic too

but sometimes it can blind him a lil bit?

so you help him remember to see things realistically

and he helps you remember to look on the bright side of things

idk it’s just super cute~~ <33

the way you two actually meet is adorable

JinJin really wants to improve his English

since he’s the leader and he wants to be able to communicate with Aroha better and everything

so someone at fantagio hires you

and you’re like YES now I can teach English in Korea this is so cool omg

but PLOT TWIST

you’re teaching English to the members of Astro :D

OH BOy;;

everything’s going great~

but in your sessions with them JinJin just seems to not be getting it?

so you pull him aside after the lesson and ask him if he’s having trouble with anything

and he’s like no no it’s fine

and you don’t believe him for a second bc he’s acting rly weird

and then he just kind of blurts out

“do you wanna go out sometime?”

and you’re like O///O

and he’s like >///>

he starts rambling about how he kept daydreaming in class about going out with you and if you two actually go on a date then maybe he can concentrate

and you cut him off with a small “sure”

and he’s like “... uh, great!”

so he takes you out to a cafe

and you two have coffee and talk about life

and as you talk he just slowly falls for you even more

he thinks your views on life are really beautiful

after a while he offers to walk you home

and you let him

and it’s kind of silent as you’re walking

and then once you get to your place

he says to you (in English) “can we do this again?”

and you’re so surprised

like he said it so fluently

you’re like (in English) “of course we can”

and he smiles and kisses your cheek

and he’s like (in English) “see you tomorrow~”

aaaaand from that day on he does much better in lessons...

and you two kind of have a thing~ <3

alright now time for other cute stufffffff

ok but his sense of humor is right up your alley

like he will absolutely text you puns throughout the day

and cheesy pick-up lines

but he’s actually surprised that you seem to love it?

and text them back??

like i think in that moment he realizes you’re “the one”

he’s also super duper supportive of your writing

like he always says that someday he can’t wait to tell people he knew you before you were a bestselling author <3

don’t think this man won’t buy you a Stitch onesie bc he 100% will;;

or if not a onesie, then he’ll totally get you and himself matching Stitch key chains <3

and sometimes he’ll try and do aegyo by imitating Stitch...

it usually doesn’t go well;;;;

but you find it cute regardless~

bc everything he does is cute lbrh

will oftentimes ask to share earbuds with you

bc it lowkey makes him feel like you’re sharing a part of your mind with each other, you know?

he finds that to be a rly cool thing

and he loves your taste in music

whenever you're in public together he makes sure that you’re as comfortable as possible

whether it be talking to people for you, putting an arm around your waist or your shoulders, or taking a break somewhere secluded

your comfort and happiness is his no. 1 priority

he’s like your cuddly personal bodyguard <3

speaking of cuddly...

he loves wrapping you up in his arms

and resting his head on top of yours

kissing your forehead

he loves hugging you

and being the big spoon~

playing with your hair

and just spending time with you honestly <3

he’s always there to comfort you

whenever you’re sad or frustrated

he’s there with ice cream, hugs, and comfy sweaters~

I AM A FIRM BELIEVER THAT A HUG FROM ACTUAL TEDDY BEAR PARK JINWOO CAN CURE ANY SADNESS IN THE WORLD;;

he also loves it when you “mother” him

like telling him to bundle up or eat dinner

he rly needs a nurturing person like you in his life

and loves getting those reminders that you care~

STARGAZING DATES <3

just laying down together on a blanket spread on the grass

crickets chirping and owls hooting

pointing out different constellations

and you look over

and see him staring at you

so you’re like

“what?”

and he’s like

“nothing, you’re just so much more dazzling than the stars~”

and brushes your hair behind your ear

and you smack his arm and hide your face in his chest

bc HELLO?? >///<

but he just grins and hugs you

and even though it’s cheesy, you know he means it <3

he probably likes calling you silly things~~

like honey bun, cuddle muffin, ladybug, precious, sweet pea, etc...

he’s always told you that once he’s rich and famous, he’ll take you travelling anywhere you want to go

and eventually you do~

one of your destinations is Switzerland, and JinJin books a scenic tour of the Swiss Alps for you two

you two have been together for a while now

and he feels ready

so he bought a ring a few weeks ago

he’s been carrying it around since your world trip started, waiting for the right moment (and place) to do the thing

i’m sorry;; i just love travel proposals okay??? <3

and as you two hike along the trail, he looks over only to find that you’ve gone off the path

and are taking photos of this tiny cluster of purple flowers growing behind a small boulder

tucked away from the world

he comes over and admires your look of concentration while attempting to capture the small burst of beauty on the rocky trail

he thinks it’s just like you to find the good in an otherwise mundane setting

and he just smiles

and gets down on one knee right then and there

because he knows that he’s found his soulmate~ <333

This Astro Ship has the Nessa Seal of Approval ~ ☆

Ships now CLOSED <3

#astro #astro scenarios #astro ships #literal ktrash #phew~ i'm sry this took forever;; <3 #hope you enjoy!#you two would be so cute together tho <3 #i just <333 #the softest boyfriend #jinjin

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yas-surveys · 4 years

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162. // THEN, THEN, NOW

Then: December 18, 2014 Then: December 18, 2015 Now: January 13, 2020 (Damn it would be cool if i answered this last december anyways)

1. Where was the last place you went to hang out? Do you hang out there often? If not, where do you usually go? THEN: i can’t actually remember HAHA. maybe 7-eleven or something, yeah. THEN: at the mall i guess, well not really often, but for the christmas time i guess, since i go shopping with enzo NOW:i have literally no idea, the last time i was out was to go to school, and i dont think that counts as a hangout, DAMN IM BORING

2. When did you last speak to your best friend of the opposite sex? What did you talk about? THEN: - Friday, his love life. HAHAHA. THEN: - yesterday; all kinds of stuff, lol, HAHAHA, but we last discusses about the gift his friends gave him and he was too lazy to read the instructions so i read it for him lol NOW: yesterday! we were talking about going to the beach

3. Would you rather be called ‘beautiful’ or ‘sexy’? Why? THEN: - beautiful bc when you say beautiful, it’s kinda all in all, your personality and stuff THEN: ^^ NOW: WHY PICK ONE, WHY NOT BOTH?

4. Do you think someone is attracted to you? THEN: probably??? THEN: i honestly have no idea NOW: yeah

5. When was the last time you used public transport? THEN: last Friday THEN: yesterday NOW: the last time i went out? january 8

6. Are there any flirty messages in your inbox? THEN: - noooope THEN: nope NOW:

7. What age do you think is the right age to lose your virginity? Do you think people are losing it too soon these days? If so, why do you think people feel the need to lose it at a very young age? THEN: - idrk, maybe when you know your emotionally ready and you have a job bc you need to support your child yourself. yeah, bc sometimes teenagers don’t think about what’s going to happen to them if they got pregnant, what they have in mind is the happiness while doing it or something, idk, maybe bc being not a virgin is a huge part of your life and stuff and they like to brag to others and stuff THEN: ^^ NOW: hOLY SHIT IM ACTUALLY CRYING AT MY ANSWERS HAHAAHAHAAHA ANYWAYS, LOSING YOUR VIRGINITY DOESNT MEAN GETTING PREGNANT MARGARET, THERE’S CONTRACEPTIVES. OH MY GOD. But sorry for my past self, I won’t say that there’s a right age to lose your virginity? Some who lost them in such an early young age are probably thriving right now? It doesn’t matter? As long as it consensual and you’re in the right mindset of what you’re doing then I don’t see why it’s supposed to matter? Like they say virginity is a social construct, which you just fucking call when you first had sex. I do think people are losing it too soon but I don’t think that’s such a bad thing? It’s a fucking normal thing that humans long. What we should talk about the issue of unwanted pregnancies and sex education. But not the point that wherein really young people are doing it? I really can’t say, I don’t have much statistics. But I do feel like that CERTAIN people need to lose it since being a virgin is now such a big word. Which is what we need to demolish. If we just unhinge that word from it’s meaning then I don’t think everyone would make such a big fuss about it? You’re just another person to have sex for the first time? Congratulations, now everybody, move along?

8. Do you make an effort to be nice to people you dislike? Would you hang around with someone you disliked, if your other friends liked them? THEN: - yeah. well, me and my friends, dislike the same people so we’re fine THEN: ^^ NOW: yea, i actually do since i believe that even though you hate somebody else, it’s no excuse to be not nice to them? so i don’t get this plastic thing tbh

9. What’s the closest thing to you that’s green? THEN: - the couch i’m sitting on right now THEN: like a placemat i’m sitting on lol NOW: pillow

10. How exactly are you feeling at this moment? Why do you feel this way? THEN: - It’s so fucking cold, idk maaaaan. i’’m just rly feeling cold. HAHAHAHAHA. there’s this typhoon in our country and it’s just so cold THEN: OH GOD, i feel really sick and hot rn and i’ve been coughing all day :—( NOW: tired, my heart’s kind of hurting from the ashfall probably?

11 So, tell me a bit about your best friend of the opposite sex. Are you strictly just friends, or is there something more between you? THEN: - ooh, enzo, just in the past question we’re talkiing about his love life bc he broke up with this girl but i think they’re coming together again since they always talk and stuff. so we’re strictly just friends, and i don’t really like to be with him since i think it’s going to destroy our 3 years friendship THEN: still enzo, i mean this girl i’m talking about, enzo ended finally this may of this year, after lots of on and offs, and he’s not been with anyone since and it’s been the same for us, just friends, we cOOL bFFS 4 lyf NOW: OH MY GOD. THE GIRL WAS ESTER FUCK ME HAHAAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT, but it’s cool that enzo’s still my best friend

12. When was the last time you felt severe physical pain? What was the reason for your pain? THEN: - ooooh, i hit my knee on the edge of my bed. GOOD. it hurts a fuckin lot THEN: i can’t exactly remember, like severe sooOOoo idk rly NOW: idk tbh HAHAHAHAHAHA

13 . In your opinion, what makes someone attractive? Be as general or as specific as you like. THEN: - appearance bc you know that’s the first thing people see and the personality THEN: well i guess now, it’s kind of both, i mean, sometimes, you look at what he’s doing and and his personality and just look at the appearance next and you can actually consider it sOooOOo NOW: ummm his mIND OH MY GOD. tbh now that i’m thinking of it very deeply, that’s where his intentions come from, what he thinks of you, what he wants to do for you, how much he loves, IT ALL COMES FROM THERE. SO DAMN. IF YOU’RE BOY A GENIUS. KEEP HIM. BUT LIKE EMOTIONAL AND INTELLECTUAL GENIUS.

14. When things in life start going wrong, are you the kind of person who tends to fall apart, or do you try to stay strong and hold it together? THEN: i’m kind of mixture of both. HAHAHA. THEN: ^^ still both lol, depends on the situation NOW: FALL APART LMAO.

15. Someone tells you that you’re beautiful/good-looking. Do you agree with them? THEN: - depends on who the person is THEN: ^^ NOW: i’d say thank you

16. If I came round to your house to have dinner, what would you make for me? THEN: - oh god i don’t cook soooo. THEN: ^^ NOW: but who are you?

17. How did you meet the last person you added as a friend on Facebook? THEN: - i haven’t add anyone on fb so idk THEN: i haven’t added someone for a long long time, prolly a teacher in my school for school purposes too NOW: i have no idea who i last added on facebook. damn. so that’s still me after 5 years wow.

18. What is your relationship with your mother like? Is it a close relationship, or do you distance yourselves from each other? Why do you think your relationship is the way it is? THEN: - my relationship with my mom is great, i can talk to her about anything and stuff THEN: ^^ NOW: yea i guess, we are pretty close but not to the point where i tell her EVERYTHING, that’s just creepy

19. Can you remember the very first conversation you had with the last person you texted? THEN: - it was kirsten and i met her at 2nd grade bc it was the first day of 2nd grade and i was new andit was a big school, i didn’t know anyone so i cried and she went up to me and asked me why was i crying HAHA THEN: it was danice, and i honestly can’t remember tbh HAHAHAHAHA, we met in 4th grade NOW: it was my mom and ofc i can’t remember our first conversation

20. Do you keep up to date with the charts? Are there any songs that are kind of old now, that you still like to listen to? THEN: - nah, bc, i kinda listen to everything that makes my ears happy. HAHA. yeah. THEN: ^^ NOW: oh, hell no. i don’t even know what are the bops these days. i’m a grandma when it comes to music.

21. Who or what has been on your mind the most today? THEN: - christmas. christmas. christmas. THEN: yes yes yes ^^^ NOW: aw,,, i really do like christmas,,, hehehe, um nothing tbh

22. At what age do you think you’ll be ready to think about having children? THEN: - maybe like 24-26? THEN: as long as i’m financially stable then i’m good NOW: never. having kids.

23. Put your iPod or any music player on shuffle and give me the first two lines from the first 10 songs selected. THEN: - ‘Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck; Some nights I call it a draw’ - ‘Cecilia, you’re breaking my heart; You’re shaking my confidence daily’ - 'First thing’s first, I’m the realest; Drop this and let the whole world feel it’ - 'Give me more lovin’ than I’ve ever had; Make it all better when I’m feelin’ sad’ - 'Baby, when they look up at the sky; We’ll be shooting stars just passing by’ - 'It’s just another night; And I’m staring at the moon’ - 'It’s probably what’s best for you; I only want the best for you’ - 'Saturday morning jumped out of bed and put on my best suit; Got in my car and raced like a jet, all the way to you’ - 'When your legs don’t work like they used to before; And I can’t sweep you off of your feet’ - 'so let’s sing na, na na na na, hey ya; cmon and sing na, na na na na, hey ya’ THEN: - ‘I am not that kind of girl, who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion’ - ‘And i hate to say i love you, when it’s hard for me’ - ‘Your love is bright as ever, even in the shadows’ - I was born in the arms of imaginary friends, Free to roam, made a home out of everywhere I’ve been’ - ‘ My heart is sinking, As I’m lifting up’ - ‘ Wise men say, only fools rush in’ - ‘ Come on skinny love just last the year, Pour a little salt we were never here’ - ‘ He said, “Let’s get out of this town, Drive out of the city’ - ‘ Hush, don’t speak, When you spit your venom, keep it shut I hate it’ - ‘ I can taste salt water , And if I blink again’ NOW: OH MY GOD IM LAUGHING AT THOSE ANSWERS OKAY HERE’S MINE - She's got a family in Carolina, So far away, but she says I remind her of home - You’re white dress, sparks words spontaneous - Ain't never felt this way, Can't get enough so stay with me - After the war, I went back to New York, A-After the war, I went back to New York - Darling, darling, doesn't have a problem, Lying to herself 'cause her liquor's top shelf - I wanna pick you up and scoop you out - I've got a secret for the mad, In a little bit of time it won't hurt so bad - Mr. Vice President, Mr. Madison, Senator Burr - You keep saying that you’re alright, but I can see you through your fake smile you’re not - 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, There are 10 things you need to know

24. The last time you went for a night out, who did you go with? THEN: - i don’t rly go on night outs but maybe the last one will be last october 28 wt my friends THEN: i still don’t go on night outs, well i mean, the latest i came home this month was 10:30 and i was out christmas shopping with enzo so NOW: my college blockmates i think?

25. Do you know anyone who doesn’t use Facebook, or dislikes it? Do you like or dislike it? THEN: - yeah, one of my best friends, laya, she hates it HAHA but we need to use it for school stuff. and laya actually keeps an eye on things, she wants not to be noticed on fb and stuff HAHA. i don’t really dislike it but i don’t love it either THEN: well laya has not been ranting about fb and she’s been using it a lot for chat purposes so, as of now, i don’t know anyone NOW: i don’t think so, neither

26. Have you ever mistaken a complete stranger for someone you knew? THEN: - yeah, but i think, i haven’t came to them (*i came to them, 2020) and said hi HAHA THEN: yeah NOW: yea

27. What did you have for breakfast this morning? THEN: - just bread and peanut & butter, and i’m rly hungry rn THEN: well i got out of bed like 3:36 or something, and there was no food so i ate this good large bread HAHAHAHAH and just some nerds and chocolate and that’s all the food i’ve eaten today and it’s 8:40 already and i haven’t had a proper meal yet, i’m really hungry NOW: tocino

28. Have you ever made a promise to someone that you didn’t keep? THEN: - yeah, i think we all have THEN: yeah NOW: yeah

29. Are you ever afraid to show how you feel? THEN: - yeah, i’m always afraid THEN: ^^ yep, i am still NOW: depends on who i am with

30. Have you ever been blamed or got into trouble for something that wasn’t your fault? THEN: - yeah THEN: yeah NOW: yeah

31. Have you ever wondered what death might be like, and what might happen afterwards? It’s depressing to think about I know, but do you have an opinion about it? THEN: - yeah, oh my gods, it’s just so confusing; what would the people feel if i died and stuff, and what would happen to me, would i still see my friends and stuff THEN: i’ve been reading a lot of books associated with death, i guess, and it’s making me think more, and i guess, it’s just sleeping forever and it’s quite creepy NOW: yea of course, i don’t really have an opinion about it? but i do wonder what happens next? do you really lose unconsciousness and just drift away?

32. Tell me something you like about your life, and something you dislike about it. THEN: - oh god, it’s gotten pretttty chaotic, i’m miserable and depressed and confused than before THEN: my life rn has beeeen a complete mess, GOD, i don’t like it. i really feel down and i mean being on christmas break is actually heping me a lot sine there NOW: i honestly can’t think of one things that’s going in the right direction at the moment, yesterday I was fucking crying my eyes out and promised myself to get checked as soon as I can.

33. Choose 10 people at random. THEN: 1. Ysabel 2. David 3. Enzo 4. Ester 5. Laya 6. Earl 7. Pamela 8. Nica 9. Kirsten 10. Kris THEN: 1. Kirsten 2. Enzo 3. Laya 4. Danice 5. David 6. Hannah 7. Pamela 8. Ricafort 9. Ysabel 10. Vito NOW: 1. Kirsten 2. Raphael 3. Enzo 4. Kate 5. Derick 6. Aly 7. Cely 8. Miki 9. Joui 10. Vanessa

34. Do you think 1 would ever help you out if you were in trouble? - i hope so NOW: yea

35. Would you swap places with 2 for a week? - sure, HAHAHA NOW: HELL NO.

36. What would you say if 3 asked you out? - yea sure HAHA NOW: sure

37. Who is taller, you or 4? - i have no idea, i think she is NOW: she is

38. Do you think 5 has ever lied to you? - yeah, probably NOW: i dont think so?

39. Do you think 6 will ever get married? - yeah, why not NOW: yea

40. If you had to cook a meal for 7, what would you make? - i did the numbers random, and it ended up on pamela again HAHAHAHAA but still, bacon HAHA, the only thing i can make that she likes NOW: PANCIT CANTON HAHAAHAHHA

41. Do you think 8 will ever get married? - yeah. NOW: yea

42. If 9 turned up at your door now, what would you do/say? Would you let him/her in? - YA YA YA NOW: yea

43. When is 10’s birthday? - o god, i’m not rly sure lol, prolly april???? i’M SO SORRY VITO NOW: september 18

44. Have you ever felt jealous of 1? - yeah, i guess, but not that much NOW: yea i guess at some aspects like being rich lmao.

45. If 2 decided never to speak to you again, would you care? - OH GOD YES NOW: OF COURSE I WOULD OH MY GOD

46. What colour is 3’s hair? - black and brown NOW: black

47. Do you know what colour 4’s eyes are? - black NOW: black

48. When was the last time you talked to 5? What did you talk to him/her about? - yesterday, not much NOW: january 7 in chat, january 11.

49. Who has kissed the most people, you or 6? - we haven’t kissed anyone yet HAHAHA NOW: OMG I ACTUALLY HAVE NO IDEA!!! i feel like me? but still no idea

50. What is the age difference between you and 7? Who is older? - she’s older. but i’m still taller HAHAHAHA NOW: she is

51. Describe 8 - what does he/she look like? - oh, he’s dark brown, laya and i LOVEEEE his legs, it’s smooth, he has a pretty strong feminine side and he has a subtle curly hair, his teeth are quite crooked and HE’s REALLY FUNNY NOW: REALLY SMALL GIRL WITH A SMALL FACE and long hair and such a petite frame

52. Is 9’s house within walking distance? - no, it’s near our school and our school is 30 minutes away without traffic from our house NOW: NO WAY

53. What if you found out that 10 had sex with the person you love/like? - OH MY GOD well, starting they’re not gay and stuff but if it happened, i would just be shocked NOW: HOLY SHIT THAT IS PRETTY AND VERY UNLIKELY BUT HOLY SHIT. THAT’S VERY WEIRD SCENARIO TO PICTURE

54. Do you like your teeth? THEN: - i don’t love them but i don’t hate them either THEN: i hate it NOW: hate it

55. Have you ever been to the cinema to watch a film, and ended up walking out because you hated it? THEN: - nope THEN: i have never done it, it’s just like wasting money and why watch a film when you know you wouldn’t like it NOW: UGH NEVER, if you don’t like it then just sleep? it’s cozy in there

56. The last person you held hands with, is that person single? THEN: - it was carl, but we’re just friends, and it was a joke, and yes he’s single THEN: i can’t even remember NOW: no he’s not

57. How about the last person you messaged on Facebook, are they single? THEN: - yep THEN: yes NOW: nope

58. How old is the 11th person in your phone’s contacts list? THEN: - i have no idea THEN: - still have no idea NOW: i don’t know tbh, her late 20′s?

59. Does it bother you when people ask questions about your love life? THEN: - nah THEN: not rly since i have non HAHAHAHA NOW: not really

60. Does the last person you kissed have freckles? THEN: - nope THEN: i haven’t kissed anyone yet so NOW: nope

61. Is it easy for people to tell when you’re upset, or are you good at hiding it? THEN: i have resting bitch face so people always think i’m mad or something THEN: ^^ NOW: I DONT HAVE A FUCKING RBF WHO WAS I KIDDING!!! OH MY GOD. i’m not good at hiding when im upset.

62. Have you ever thought about joining a dating site? THEN: - oh gods, idek. i really have no idea HAHAHA. but yeah lol THEN: sure why not lol, but i always thought about it being very awkward NOW: already did

63. On a scale of 1 to 10, how you would you rate your own appearance (going on how you look right now)? THEN: probably 6 lol. i look oily and my hair looks awful right now THEN: prolly a 7, because i feel like ‘I LOOK REALLY OKAY AND THIS IS NOT WHAT I LOOK LIKE WHEN THERE’S PEOPLE AROUND NOW: OH HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD A SOLID ZERO.

64. On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you right now? THEN: a 5, i just found out that my crush wants to bring evrything back gdi (Oh my GOD, HE DID NOT WANT EVERYTHING BACK, 2020) THEN: a 6, i guess NOW: 7????

65. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate this survey? THEN: - like a 7? THEN: ^^ NOW: ^^

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