#femme!reader
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Shauna brings you to Lottie's wellness center
SUBMISSION:
i LOVE your writing
Could I request Shauna x female reader
When Shauna tells reader that she’s going to lotties wellness center or whatever reader breaks down because reader is like seriously attached to Shauna so they go together but reader is also really shy and hates being in places with loads of people and when they get there and Shauna is told to go do the activity she chose reader follows and then that annoying guy with the goat tells reader to go away but Shauna defends reader and they go into the forest for a fluffy little make out sesh till misty interrupts
A/N: obsessed with this prompt and how specific it is, ugh, eating this shit up
"Honey, I kind of have to go." Shauna repeated to you, hands on your knees.
Your arms were crossed tightly over your chest, eyes furrowed in defiance. "I don't want you to leave for a long time. I want to be with you!"
"What are you going to do there?" Shauna attempted to reason with you.
"What are you going to do there." You argued.
Shauna let out a long breathy sigh. "Okay, touché. But there's going to be a lot of people there. A lot of freaks. It's a cult, Y/N."
"But I'll be with you." You smiled sweetly.
She rolled her eyes. "It's useless trying to say no to you. Okay, get your butt in the car."
***
When the two of you arrived, it was more crowded than you originally thought. Purple blobs moved around in incredibly intentional paths, doing chores, talking to each other, laughing.
Shauna grabbed your hand. "Jesus Christ."
"This is awful." You snorted. "Holy shit."
You both walked forward toward the center of the compound. Natalie and Misty walked toward the both of you.
"Natalie." Shauna mumbled, heading over to give her a hug.
You wrapped your arms around yourself. Very quickly, several of Shauna's old friends tumbled in, all equally surprised to see each other. You, however, quickly became the center of attention.
"Who is this?" Natalie drawled, walking closer to get a better look at you. "She's young, Shauna."
Shauna cleared her throat. "This is Y/N. She's my partner."
"Oh." Taissa raised her brows.
You smiled sheepishly, moving closer to Shauna for safety. "Hi."
"Welcome."
Everyone turned their heads. Lottie was walking toward the lot of you. "Especially to you." Lottie smiled, reached out her hands to lock with yours.
You allowed her to, immediately understanding the chokehold this woman had on your lover and her friends. "Uh, hey."
"You're gorgeous. So full of life." She grinned. "I'm so glad you're here."
You swallowed, wondering if you were beginning to regret coming, actually. "Thanks. Happy to tag along."
You looked behind your shoulder at Shauna, who shrugged at you with confused eyes.
"Come along. All of you. The time is ripe to get started on your treatments." She tugged you along by the hand, and you sped up your gate to keep up with her.
Shauna jogged ahead, and the rest followed suit, playing follow the leader.
***
"When someone new comes in, we often let them choose a treatment for themselves." Lottie announced, holding a pine board with different therapies written on them in pretty handwriting. "Especially for our newest guest, I think we should let Y/N go first."
You blinked, looking at the women around you who seemed incredibly tentative to interact with anything that was going on at all.
"Alright." You mumbled, taking the board from her.
"Listen." Van sat up. "No offense, but this is really just not for me."
Natalie piped up, "I thought the same thing. Just give it a chance."
"Listen, Nat. I'm happy you're alive, and Lottie, it's... good to see you're back from Switzerland." Van continued.
"Switzerland? That was over a decade ago." Lottie shook her head, seemingly offended.
"Wow. That's great." Van nodded. "But I am just..."
"Okay, um." You sputtered. "I am going to do self-care. Right, Shauna?"
"Oh, mm, mhmm." She nodded. "Absolutely. All of my rational senses are screaming, but yes, self-care sounds right."
You slapped her thigh and gave her a warning look. The rest of the group picked their own therapies as well.
"Wonderful. We're going to get you started with this, but before you all head out, you will need to text this landline number to someone who is available for emergencies." Lottie announced. "You will be giving up your phones."
That was fine. Shauna was your emergency contact, and honestly, you were Shauna's. You took your phone out of your pocket, "Going offline for a few days will be nice."
"Technology keeps you enslaved to other peoples priorities." Misty nodded to you.
"Say," Lottie sang, "Y/N. Why don't I take you and Shauna out to the barn where we will begin your treatment?"
"Barn?" Shauna questioned.
***
It was, indeed, a barn filled with cattle. Cows, goats, chickens, and lambs scattered the place with many people to tend over them and take care of them.
Shauna gave the place a once over. "Wait. This is self-care? Doesn't that usually include, like, massages. Or mud maths. Or a hot tub?"
Lottie chuckled. "Hey, I have to go, but someone will come over with, Bruce. I'll see you later!"
"Who is, Bruce?" Shauna called out, but Lottie had already traveled off.
A man walked over holding a little baby goat.
You squealed. "Awww, baby!"
He sneered at you. "What are you doing here? This is a one party therapy only."
"Hey." Shauna snapped. "Fuck you, purple boy."
With a scoff, he tried to hand Shauna the goat, but she backed away. "What are you doing?" She grimaced.
"You have to take care of him. It's the treatment. You will learn about all the ways in which taking care of Bruce rewards you, and the way in which he brings out sacrifices within you." The guy rattled off, almost reading from a script.
"No." Shauna shook her head. "No way."
You grabbed the baby goat away from the purple man. "I'll take him, then."
"He's not for you." The man shouted.
"Okay, listen you oompa loompa, freak." Shauna got up close to him. "Leave my girlfriend alone. She is the only one here who is going to actively care about that goat. I will find a way to fuck it up."
With a childlike level of attitude, the guy took off and stomped out of the barn.
"He seems emotionally stable." You commented, patting Bruce on the head.
Shauna sighed in annoyance. "Come on, baby, let's get out of here."
You walked alongside her out of the barn and further up into the woods. "You know, this is kind of fun. I love animals."
"Of course you would think this is fun." She smiled, a tender look in her eyes. "You're so sweet."
You blushed, holding on tighter to Bruce as you climbed your way through brush and trees. "Where are we going?"
"Somewhere we can be alone for a little while. I need to get away from those freaks." Shauna replied.
There was a silence for a time as you both trudged along.
"Lottie is for sure a cult leader, right?" You asked.
"Oh absolutely." Shauna agreed.
***
Once there was a good place to sit, Shauna helped you tie Bruce to a tree so that you and her could have some time to yourselves.
You sat down on the dead leaves beneath you, and Shauna followed suit.
"I'm really glad you came." She said. "This would be unbearable without you."
"What? Is it so hard to take care of the little guy for a day?" You joked, snuggling up to her, pointing toward Bruce who was gnawing on a branch.
She smiled down at you, brushing baby hairs off of your face. "I just meant...all of this. This shit with Lottie and the others. I'm just glad you're here."
You lifted your chin up, your lips brushing against hers. She brought her face closer down, her palm wrapping around the nape of your neck to keep your lips close. She kissed you very sweetly, her other hand making its way to your waist.
"Mmm." You moaned into her mouth, smiling into the kiss.
"What?" She whispered, clutching you tight.
"You're so pretty." You shrugged.
With a chuckle she continued to kiss you, her hand tangled in your hair, and her tongue dancing on yours.
Then, out of nowhere, leaves began to crunch. You broke away from Shauna, expecting some kind of wildlife to be quickly encroaching. But alas, it was just Misty.
"Oh, I am so sorry." She gasped. "Was I interrupting something?"
"No." You shook your head.
"Yes." Shauna said emphatically.
Misty scoffed. "Well, okay, then. Shouldn't you be in therapy, anyway?"
"We are." Shauna said.
"Last I checked, getting fresh in the woods was not on that list, okay?" Misty chastised.
"Wait." Your eyebrows furrowed, looking toward the tree that Bruce was supposed to be on. "Where did he go?"
Shauna looked over as well and groaned. "Oh shit, not the goat."
"Well then I guess I'll help you find him." Misty grinned. "Come here goat."
The two of you sat up from the ground.
"Shouldn't you be in therapy, too?" Shauna questioned Misty.
"I would really rather not sit in a dark tank void of any sound, filled with water. That's terrible for my vertigo." She replied.
Very quickly, you found Bruce bleating near a tree. "Oh! Oh thank God."
You ran to him and lifted him into your arms. "All better now."
"Oh good." Shauna clasped her hands together. "Good job, Y/N."
With a proud little smile on your face, Shauna kissed you again, and forgetting the company you were in, gave your rear end a little slap. "Don't let him out of your sight."
You cradled Bruce close to your chest. "Never."
#yellowjackets#shauna sadecki#fluff#fanfic#oneshot#drabble#x reader#femme!reader#gay#wlw#submission#open for submission
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Because You’re a Fuckboy
Oikawa Tōru x femme!reader
summary: in which Oikawa tries to win you over and you’re having none of it.
word count: 3984
a/n: I am once again, sexually attracted to multiple fictional characters. I have a problem 😩💕😔 this is sfw tho, so enjoy! uh, short curly girls ftw, tyvm <3
masterlist
Oikawa Tōru is many things. One thing he is not, however, is a quitter. He doesn’t think he’s ever been rejected by a girl before, usually they’re all over him. He knows he’s handsome, he knows he’s charismatic, he knows he’s talented both on and off the court, and he knows how to make just about any girl flustered. But for some reason, y/n, the ace of Seijoh’s Girls’ Volleyball Team, has either paid him no mind or has snapped at him multiple times. This time is no different, him having angered y/n after he scored a series of points, and pointed at her in the crowd after the last one. Of course, the stands erupted into cheers and ‘awwws’ when they all realized he meant her, but y/n? Oh, she was infuriated. He knew he was in trouble when she stormed out of the gymnasium doors when no one was looking.
And now, well… he’s getting major heat from her.
“Like, seriously, what the hell is wrong with you? Why would you even do that when every time you’ve made a play for me or hit on me or did something that was supposed to make me like you, I’ve rejected you?” She’s fuming, hands on her hips, and he finds it adorable. He’s not going to show that he finds it adorable, lest he face even more of her wrath.
He smiles, saying, “Because I know you’re attracted to me and are just pushing me away. I don’t know why, but I know how I make you feel.” He takes a step toward her, and she takes a step back, though not as big. Though, he supposes that might be because she’s so short. Something he also finds adorable about her. “Come on, the best players of both of our teams? That photographs well.”
“And this is why that will never happen.” She says, sighing. “You’re thinking about your Instagram feed, not about what a relationship between us would actually be like.”
He scratches the back of his neck, saying, “Well, the Instagram feed is just a bonus if I get to put your cute face all over it.” He smirks when she averts her eyes. “But seriously, why won’t you go out with me?”
She looks back up at him, brows furrowed. “Do you seriously not understand?” He shakes his head, and she groans, thumb and index finger pinching the bridge of her nose. “You’re a fuckboy. I literally would not go near you with a ten foot pole.”
He pouts. “I am not a fuckboy! Girls are attracted to me, why should I be blamed for that?”
She rolls her eyes, scoffing. “Oh, you’re fucking ridiculous. Oikawa, how many of those girls that have come on to you have you denied?”
“Uh, lots of girls! There are a lot that aren’t pretty. Just because I’d let them take a picture with me doesn’t mean I’d fuck them.” Examining her face, he comes to realize he might have made a mistake with that sentence. Mostly because she has an empty stare fixed on him.
Y/n crosses her arms, tapping her foot. “And how many of the pretty girls have you fucked?”
His confident smile falters. He tries to regain it, but he can tell she’s winning. “Not… that… many…” Y/n raises a brow, as if to say, ‘See?’ She turns around to walk away, and in a moment of blind faith, Oikawa grabs her hand and pulls her back, then locks her between his arms as she’s pressed up against the wall.
She stares up at him, shocked, and the look of surprise in her eyes also betrays her nervousy. He smirks - he’s got her. He starts to ever so slightly lean his head in, knowing that just a tiny bit of distance will seal the deal, and how he’s been waiting for months to be able to kiss her, when she shakily brings a hand up to his chest, stopping him. “Please… don’t.”
Although disappointed, Oikawa’s always been chivalrous, and would never kiss someone against their will, so he does reluctantly step back. “I’m sorry.”
“I…” She still leans against the wall, the hand she used to stop him now twisting one of her curls. “I don’t hate you, Oikawa. And it’s not that I don’t find you attractive, either - I’m not an idiot. But because I’m not an idiot, I know that this—” She motions to the general space occupied by the both of them, “—Is setting myself up for heartbreak. Maybe—” She pauses, looking up at Oikawa, who only has eyes for her, but she shakes her head. “Nevermind. Forget it.”
Oikawa reaches out, lightly rubbing his thumb down her arm, exposed from the short sleeve she’s wearing. She came to see the game after a practice. He’d always admired her drive to study and learn, as well as her supportive nature - the entire boys’ team considered her their biggest fan - sometimes they’d ask her to bring the other girls along, or would ask her for some of the girls’ numbers. Never hers, though. They all know she’s the apple of Oikawa Tōru’s eye.
“No, what were you going to say?” He asks gently, quietly, noting that she doesn’t shake his hand off, even if she won’t look at him. He takes a silent step closer to her.
“…Just that… maybe if you… well, if you weren’t a fuckboy, we could’ve had a chance. But as is, even if you ‘reformed’ yourself or whatever, I could never trust you. I’ve heard things from your past flings and the timelines usually overlap so bad that if you made a venn-diagram of one relationship and the next the whole thing would be a fucking circle.”
“I would do it, you know. Reform myself. For you, I would.” He offers an olive branch, but he fears it won’t be enough.
It isn’t. “You wouldn’t stay that way, though, and that’s why we can’t happen.”
He slides his arms around her in a hug, hands wrapped tightly around her waist, and rests his head on top of hers. Tentatively, she returns the embrace, but it’s shy, like she’s a timid cat, ready to vanish if things get just a little too scary for her. “Y/n, please. Just give it some thought. Doesn’t this feel right?”
Her head is resting against his chest. “I have given it thought, Tōru. Just because something feels right physically doesn’t mean it makes sense when every other aspect of it is wrong.” She slips out of his arms and leaves the room without another word. The cat has vanished.
Two years later, Oikawa Tōru and y/l/n y/n are attending the same university, and Oikawa can’t get her out of his head. For the rest of their third year of high school, Oikawa had stopped giving other girls attention unless they were fans asking for pictures, and he showed up to all of y/n’s games. She pointedly never looked in his direction.
Then, they were both offered an athletic scholarship to the same university, and he was over the moon. ‘Surely she’ll stop fighting it now,’ he’d thought, but then he realized how rarely the university teams interacted, save for monthly practice matches where the men’s and women’s teams were split up to make the game fair in terms of height and play style. Somehow, y/n was always on the opposing team.
If Oikawa thought keeping girls at a distance in high school was hard, university would be ten times harder, but for Oikawa, it’s easy. He knows who he wants, and he knows that someday, y/n will want him too.
Somewhere along the journey, he realizes that she isn’t ignoring him anymore. If they pass by each other on campus, she offers him a small smile, and in their practice matches, he notices her watching him.
But the real change is when they’re finally put on the same team together, and she sends a ball directly to the back corner, right on the line, and scores after a particularly long rally. “Yea!” She shouts, running in a tiny circle to give everyone high fives, but when she reaches Oikawa, she gives him a hug, saying, “Thanks for the set, Tōru-chan.” After the match ends and the next team takes their spot on the court, Oikawa takes his chance and taps her on the shoulder. “Do you want to do some peppers?” When he meets her eyes, her gaze softens. She must see how anxious he is for her answer.
“I’d love to.”
After that fateful day, she greets him when he passes her on campus, and he returns the greetings. After the next monthly match, he asks if she wants to get coffee because the quarter just started and he noticed they share a class and wants to know if she’d like to study together, and pretty soon they’re showing up to each other’s home games, studying together every chance they get, hanging out, until-
She has a date. She asks him to come over because she wants help picking out an outfit, because he has better fashion sense than her. He agrees, because just because he wants to be the person taking her out, doesn’t mean that he’s not going to help her to look and feel her absolute best.
Her date is taking her to a new club, and when she tries on a peacock green, backless little bodycon dress with sequins detailing different parts of it, he tells her it’s the one, and it takes everything in him to not ask her to please just call off the date because one look at her in that dress and he wishes no other guy could see her looking that beautiful unless she was on his arm, his baser instincts want to wrap his arms around her, rip that thing off and have her watch through the mirror she’s been looking in as he tells her how alluring she is, how beautiful she is, how much he loves her while he-
Oh shit.
He loves her.
He leaves before her date arrives to pick her up since he doesn’t want to ruin the guy’s impression of her - seeing an attractive man leave y/n’s dorm building at the same time as her probably doesn’t do anything good.
He’s telling himself to just accept it, this is as close as he’ll ever get to her, he’s lost, when he gets a text message. He unlocks his phone, seeing it’s from y/n. Why is she texting him during her date?
Satisfied, he leaves her to her own devices, and for the next half hour he’s thinking about how much fun she could’ve had if she was on a date with him instead. What did she see in this guy anyway? He isn’t… ugly, if Oikawa has to admit it, but y/n is way out of that guy’s league. At least he knows she isn’t going to gratify him with a second date any time soon. Or at all, really. That gives him just a smidge of satisfaction.
Oikawa’s not the ‘if I can’t have her no one can’ kind of guy, but he does know for a fact that most guys don’t deserve y/n. He’s known her for so long, and if he can admit he is in love with her while not interfering in her love life, then he thinks he’s fit to judge whether other guys are good enough for her. He can think of a few teammates over the years who were really genuine. It would hurt to see her with them, but he doesn’t think he would have any qualms with it other than her being the person he wants, but that’s selfish of him.
As he ponders this, he jumps out of his seat when his phone rings. The unexpected interruption catches him off guard. He grabs his phone and answers it. “Hello?”
“Tōru, I—” Y/n breaks off as she sobs. “He left me here. He literally blew me off for some other girl and I saw them leave and I called him, and he said we weren’t gonna work out, and I said I don’t care if we work out, but how the fuck am I supposed to get home, and he told me to just figure it out and hung up. I don’t know what to do, Tōru.”
His eyes widen and he grabs his keys, pocketing them and slipping on his shoes. “Oh my god, y/n, I am so sorry. I’m walking out the door right now, just stay by the bar, I’m coming right now.”
She whimpers out a ‘thank you,’ and they say their goodbyes.
She called me Tōru. Is his first thought as he robotically gets in his car. He doesn’t think he’s ever driven so fast in his life. Okay, maybe he has a few times, but it’s not often that he goes 20 over, optimizing his route on Google Maps to avoid traffic and get to y/n’s location, which she sent to him live only a few minutes ago, in record time. Formula 1 should hire him, really.
When he pulls up, he parks his car, walking into the club and making a beeline for the bar to find her. A few women send looks his way, but he doesn’t bother with any friendly smiles - he’s here for one person, and one person only. He doesn’t see her, so he sits down, pulling out his phone to text her.
“Tōru?” A sniffling, familiar voice says behind him. He turns around and there she is, terrified and shaking. “I was in the bathroom.”
Without waiting for her to initiate, Oikawa launches to his feet, engulfing her in a strong, supportive hug. Her composure breaks, and she starts crying again. “Let’s go home, y/n.”
In the car, y/n sobs nonstop, graciously accepting the tissues he provides for her. He keeps a box in case of emergencies - mostly in case of nosebleeds from practicing at the beach in the spring and summer. He likes playing with the locals.
Eventually, her sobs turn to cries, her cries to whimpers, and her whimpers to sniffs. Out of the corner of his eye, Oikawa sees her hunched over in the passenger seat, looking so dejected and downcast, that he tries something stupid - he sets his hand on her leg, palm up, fingers outstretched. He lets it sit for a few seconds, but before he pulls his hand away and apologizes, he feels her dainty digits slide into his, and it almost feels like a shock of electricity runs through him when he realizes her hand fits into his so perfectly. But he knows that what y/n needs right now is a friend who can give her emotional support, not admit their huge, undying crush on her.
“Thanks, Oikawa.” She says meekly, sniffing. “For everything. I’m sorry I ruined your night.”
“You have nothing to apologize for, y/n. And really, you can just call me Tōru at this point. We’ve known each other for so long now, it’s only fair.” Oikawa says with a shrug.
“Okay, then Tōru.”
“Can I ask you something?” Oikawa tries.
“Anything.”
“Was he even cute?”
Her face scrunches up in thought. “I mean… he wasn’t ugly ugly, but… he was a lot nicer on Tinder. Looked better on there, too.”
Oikawa chuckles. “That’s your problem - you’re never gonna find a good guy on Tinder. They’re all either catfishes, douchebags, or ugly.”
“You’re not wrong. I went on two other Tinder dates last year, and neither of them turned out well either.” Two? Oikawa realizes he hasn’t been paying as much attention to y/n as he thought he’d been, and inwardly grimaces.
“Of course I’m not, I know you. The right guy for you wouldn’t be on there anyways.” Y/n hums in acknowledgment as Tōru focuses on the road. He slows down, turning into the parking garage below her dorm building. He coasts from level to level, until he finds a section of three vacant spots, choosing the middle one. He turns the car off, but can’t find it in himself to let go of her hand.
“Tōru.” Y/n says with bated breath. He looks over at her, but she’s staring into her lap. He gives her hand an encouraging squeeze, as if to let her know it’s okay. This is a brave space. “Would you believe me if I told you that this is all my fault?”
“No, I would not, sorry.” Oikawa states as if he’s an expert on fault and morality. To be fair, he’s an expert on knowing y/n, so maybe he’s not that far off.
“Then would you believe me if I said the reason I went on this date was because I’m a stubborn idiot?” She asks.
“Also no. But I’ll listen to your reasoning, even if I don’t think you’re an idiot.” He says, smiling. Y/n’s not looking, but he still finds that simply being around her is enough to warrant a smile.
She furrows her brows, letting go of his hand, and starts picking at an interesting hangnail. “I’m a stubborn idiot because this whole time, I’ve been telling myself I can’t have feelings for you since I said I’d never date you two years ago, and having feelings for you now would make me a hypocrite. That’s why I went on the stupid date in the first place.”
It’s Oikawa’s turn to stare at his hands. “Well. I was not expecting that.”
“Yea.”
“That being said, I don’t think you’re an idiot because of that. Stubborn, yes, you’ve always been stubborn. But not an idiot, and not a hypocrite.” He assures her.
Y/n tests, “Then what am I?”
Oikawa counts off on his fingers. “A human being. Someone who just so happened to change. Someone who’s willing to admit hard things to themself. Maybe someone who can hold a bit of a grudge. And someone who can forgive, and doesn’t hold static opinions about other people.” He looks at her, and she looks up at him. “None of those are bad things, they’re human things.”
Y/n thinks to herself, then settles on, “Okay. But then where does that put us?”
“I never stopped liking you, so really, it depends on what you want.” Oikawa supplies.
“Like… dating?” She suggests.
“Yea, sure. Is that what you want?”
“Is that what you want?”
Oikawa bursts out laughing. “Yes, god, yes, y/n. I’ve been in love with you forever but didn’t want to say anything in case you found someone who could make you happier.”
“You have?” Y/n says, incredulous. “I thought I was making up the tension in my head. Why didn’t you stop caring after I gave you the run around third year?”
He smirks, “Because I knew I could change your mind.” He drops the smirk after she lightly slaps his arm, glaring. “Kidding. But no, really. I tried to move on, but I kept coming back to you. I figured, if I ever had a chance, it would only be as a friend, because you’re not someone easily convinced.” He opens up his car door, and steps around to open y/n’s as well.
“That’s sweet. Then… If it’s what you want, then it’s what I want, too. But… we can take things slow, right?” She says, reaching a hand up and playing with her hair to calm her nerves, her other hand taking hold of his to help herself out of the car.
“As slow as you want, as fast as you want- whatever makes you more comfortable. I’m just glad I have the chance to make you happy now. Mind if I walk you to your dorm?” Y/n nods, and her smile makes Oikawa melt. He doesn’t think he’s ever been happier that she rejected him once upon a time - ironically, that crushing blow really did help him in the end. He ponders this as they stand idly in the elevator, and as they walk side by side down the hallway.
He wants to hold her hand, maybe throw an arm around her shoulder, but second guesses himself. What if it feels too fast for her? What is too fast? Is it possible for things to progress too slow? He’s not sure, but what he is sure of is that his brain has never been so loud before, a million thoughts running through his mind all at once. Is this the ‘thrill of something new’ that people always talk about in relationships? It’s scary, but exciting.
All too soon, they reach y/n’s dorm unit, and he finds himself standing there at a loss for words, looking between y/n’s feet, her hands, and her eyes. If he’d been looking a little longer, he’d notice her doing the same.
Before he’s finished concocting a goodbye, he’s surprised to feel y/n’s arms wrap around him tightly. “Thanks for tonight. I’m really glad I got to see you.”
He laughs in surprise, hugging her back. “What do you mean? I didn’t take you on a date, I just saved you from one.”
She looks up at him, chin resting on his chest. “The time we spent together on the ride back was way better than that stupid date. Next time, we can go on a date together, and that will be way more fun.”
He smirks again, saying, “Of course it will. I’m the Great King of planning fun dates, or something like that.”
“You’re only the King of the Court, sir - don’t get ahead of yourself there.” Y/n says jokingly.
Oikawa gasps dramatically. “Did you just put me in my place? I feel betrayed.”
Y/n laughs. “I have a feeling you’ll forgive me.” She gets up on her toes, planting a light kiss on his chin, since she can’t reach his lips.
Oikawa smiles, lifting a hand to tilt her chin. “You’re right, I already do.” He traces her jaw, lifting her face up and tilting his own down toward hers. The kiss is brief, but the few seconds of their lips touching is like a breath of fresh air to the both of them. Already parting, Oikawa feels giddy in his excitement, smiling dumbly as y/n says goodbye, gently closing the door of her dorm unit. He’s never been more clueless while simultaneously knowing exactly what he’s doing, while also knowing he looks like a total dork doing it.
Oikawa decides he likes that.
#outsider writes#haikyuu!!#oikawa tōru#oikawa tooru#oikawa toru#oikawa x reader#athlete!reader#femme!reader#fuckboy!oikawa#reformed!oikawa#college au#sfw
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Woven from the same thread
[Part 2] [Masterlist]
Summary: Coriolanus Snow hungers for control, what will happen when he gives up it up for his own good? What will happen when he finaly meets his match?
Pairing: Sub!Coriolanus Snow x Dom!reader
Warnings: gaslight, gatekeeper, girl boss; dumbification; Coriolanus Snow, mentioned of death and bombings, manipulations.
A/N: purely an excuse to write for submissive Coriolanus. I love me a controlling obsessive man, but I love him more on his knees crying.
Coriolanus Snow who decided getting a cute rich girlfriend would help him in life. He wouldn't love her, he'd discard her immediately the moment he managed to get into university with the plinth prize or if he simply found someone better.
Coriolanus Snow who saw you and your sweet smile and charming innocent eyes and decided that you were going to be his personal piggy bank.
Coriolanus Snow who tries charming you with pretty words and gentlemanly actions, providing as much as he can muster with his unexistable budget. An occasional white rose or a pretty origami would be thrown your way, but that's as far as he could afford to go.
Coriolanus Snow who realizes too late you are a snake like him.
Coriolanus Snow who gapes in horror at you in your lavish room at your parent's penthouse after you reveal it all to him. Telling him how you saw his thinning frame and hollow cheeks, the acidy breath from hunger and the lack of presents or money spent on you had given him away. It was all a hypothesis but his reacting confirmed it.
Coriolanus Snow who is frozen in place, his deepest fear of getting closer to someone and having them find out of his poverty hidden in plain sight made his pale skin loose all semblence of color.
Coriolanus Snow who is on the verge of dropping on his knees and begging(he should) but you run a hand along his jaw and propose a deal. He is the smartest boy in the Academy, presentable and well mannered, he will continue to be your boyfriend and you will keep your mouth shut and wallet open for him as long as he plays by your whistle. It was left unspoken that if he stepped out of line you would air his dirty laundry with no hesitation.
Coriolanus Snow who becomes your personal dog, no matter how much he hates it. You wrote him a check to buy his family some food and pay his rent, as a starting sum, with one of your credit cards.
Having a pretty smart boyfriend was a dream come true for you. Having said boy and holding an unimaginable power over his every move was all you ever wanted. You and him shared the same poison, the same thirst for power, you knew that. But he hadn't, and that is what brought him to his demise.
He lost the battle. He lost the war.
Coriolanus Snow who does all the stereotypical "perfect boyfriend" things. He carries your books, opens the doors for you, pulls your chair out, kisses your forehead sweetly and holds your hand. He was perfect, at performing in public at least. Behind closed doors he still had his bite, no matter how good he could act his ego got the best of him.
You would break him soon enough
You started it small.
Phase 1:
Giving him small commands first in public, where he couldn't let his bravado fall. Telling him to wait for you, to not move, to lift that, do that, etc. Later you did it when there were people of your age or older around. Clearly showing off the power you had over Coriolanus, he had to obey you, his families apartment depended on it. He wanted to snap and not do it, to show he is in fact his own master, but how will he explain to granma' am and Tigris that they had to live on the street because his girlfriend/sugar mommy was too bossy?
Coriolanus Snow who was left to marinate in his own embarrassment in silence, feeling all eyes on him as people's perception of him change. From a proud heir to one of the most important business for the Capitol to a lovesick boyfriend who was his girlfriends servant, with a smile on his face worst of all. He was starting to get used to it. This had been going on for months now, the habit was starting to get rooted deeply.
Phase 2:
It was still a small jump but you started to give him shorter orders, one word commands, expecting him to know what to do- and he did. You'd say "open" and any door would be trust wide open and held for you. You'd say "hold" and thrust whatever you are holding to him without a spare glance. Maybe in the past he would have thrown the expensive purse or books while looking you dead in the eyes like a statement but now he simply waited for you patiently.
Coriolanus Snow who actually threw your books in a fit of rage once and ended up penniless for a month. He had to come to your house timidly after receiving no calls on the private phone you had bought him and no reply as he blew up your line.(he could only call your number and couldn't add or remove it. who else did he need to contact?)
Coriolanus who had to face greater humiliation than what he was used to, as he walked across the private party thrown by your parents, looking for you. The pitiful looks he got wobbling around in his academy uniform, even outside school as he asked around for you. People must have seen him as a kicked puppy, looking for his owner. It wasn't completely false.
Coriolanus Snow who found you in a secret room pointed to him by your mother who had cooed at him pitifully, used to seeing him waddle after you almost daily. You were sitting on large chair behind a wooden desk, looking over some documents. Your gaze snapped to him as he entereed, the faint yellow light from the lamp illuminated his face and made the miserable look in his eyes and blush in his cheeks ever more evident.
He had gotten to eat so good, first class meals, you'd even send a private chef over to his house to cook for him when he was especially good. He had gotten greedy and now going back to slurping bean juice felt unimaginable.
"Your rent is looking ever the higher. Its not looking good."
He hadn't(didnt) want to think about this as he slept on a cold matress, their heating had run out. He missed the taste of luxury. He would do anything to get it back.
"I made a mistake, y/n."
He knew he should do more. He knew you'd like to see him beg and squirm but he didn't think he could handle any more of this if he did. He had felt so much pressure, so such stress to find some food, to worry about rent, to hide the eyebags under his eyes, the humiliation from tonight was almost too much.
"Come here, Coriolanus."
Your voice rang out cold and commanding, but never demanding. You had too much power over him to demand. You pulled the chair back and it's wheels creaked, you put a hand on your thigh in a wordless command. Coriolanus wobbled a bit shakily, trying to maintain some form of dignity as he walked to you. He came to a halt between your legs, looking down at you and creating a shadow over your form. It should have made him feel better, to be in one way on top, but it didn't, he couldn't delude himself anymore, he knew he had no control.
What had you done to him?
"Kneel"
It took him a few seconds but he dropped slowly to his knees, one leg at a time until he was at eyelevel with your knees, sitting on his hinges, since he knew he'd be down here for a while. He stared stubbornly into your eyes, his pale blue eyes shone almost angelically paired with his pink lips. Your pretty puppy, it almsot made you smile. It almost made you forgive him, almost.
"You disobeyed me, Coriolanus. I told you there would be consequences."
"I know, y/n, i know, i wont do it again. I promise."
"I dont believe you."
You say and pick the document you had been reviewing before. You bring them close enough so he can read them too. They were charts and documents of increasing rent money for the apartment building his penthouse was in, the wages of the workers where Tigris worked, a paper with the retirement money his grandma got, paper with the money the country gave him as a compensation since he had lost both of his parents. All the money that his family got and had to spend.
Coriolanus who skims the papers but even the breif look of the numbers told him what he already knew.
He had no future without you. The Hunger games had gotten canceled this year since the death of Felix, the presidents son, the Plinth prize had gotten withdrawn. He had nothing, he could do nothing.
"I gave you everything, Coriolanus. Was your pride worth your future?"
He feels his gaze get hazy, the panic was starting to set in. He had come here to get you back, sure that he would be able to do it, but now he could almost taste your rejection. He was starting to get scared and panicked. He needed you.
"It wasnt- it isnt. Y/n, I made a mistake, plase forgive me. I wont do it again."
He shuffles closer to you subconsciously, looking up at you as his voice grew hoarse. His pride long gone, thrown out the moment he saw the consequences. You place a soft hand on his hair, gripping it gently and he feels the golden ring on your finger, the one with your family's crest made from pure gold, rest heavily on his scalp. You tilt his face up to look at you.
"Beg. Show me how sorry you are."
His mouth opened immediately, no hesitation to beg for you. Maybe he should feel shame to be thrust into this position but all he felt was hope. If you were willing to hear him out it means there is some chance he could get you back.
"Im sorry, y/n, im so sorry. I was stupid, i was greedy, i was arrogant. I wont do it again. Im yours, please"
He hadn't realized he had started crying until his tears pooled and fell, warm and salty, against his lips and on the material of the chair, his long blond lashes clump togetger and his lips redden, the tear streaks down his cheeks and neck glisten in the light and he looks like a painting.
You decide you like him like this best, begging at your feet and crying for your love.
You coo at him sympatheticly even as a smile tugs the corners of your lips. You caress his beautiful locks of hair and wipe his tears away only to lick your fingers.
"My poor baby, no need to cry. Im here now, you remembered where you belong, its okay now, you are okay now."
His breath grows labored and his face twists in pain as more tears follow, he burries his face into the bare skin of your inner thighs and sobs loudly. All the stress had caught up with him. The responsibilities, the fear, the hunger, the thought that he'd lose his anchor, the thought he'd lose you.
Your guidance, your attention, your love. He didn't need to worry anymore, he didn't need to fret and plot to stay at the top, simply being known as your lover was enough. You were the second richest family in Panem, after the President. Coriolanus held much more power than he ever had on his own. People respected him more and he got the cushiony life he had always dreamt of.
He was safe.
His family was safe.
You let him cry, cooing calming words of reassurance as you caress the nape of his neck and the curls of his hair. His big shaky hands envelope your thighs and he holds onto them for dear life.
You knew he would come crawling back once he saw that you meant business and weren't bluffing. It had taken him longer and you respect his resilience but he had funaly come to his senses and back into your arms. A part of you felt a pang of empathy for him, for the poor boy underneath all the masks and facades he had on to survive in this world. You knew when it came down to it he would have murdered him, to remain the shell of the person he is. You don't feel bad for Snow. You felt bad for Coriolanus.
Poor, caring, driven Coriolanus, who might have been good if not for the poison and hunger and fear he had been forced to shoulder.
But you are here now, so he wouldn't have to worry anymore. He can be good. You'll make sure he is your good boy.
Phase 0:
Coriolanus is a smart boy, he probably could predict all the steps of manipulation you had come up with, what he probably hadn't anticipated were the rewards. The additional money, delicious food, new clothes, you'd even found a better job for Tigris (not good enough to pay for the rent ofc). The small touches you'd offered him and the lack of discrimination against his poverty. You'd treated him good and given him a lot.
How could a boy who's only had things taken from him begin to expect anything else? The mentality of take or lose had kept him alive this long, but maybe you wanted to give. He had shared with you in a night of vulnerabilities about his family. How his mother and unborn sister died, hiw his father died, how he was left with only his grandma and Tigris almost broke to survive.
Coriolanus had a lot of potential to be your loyalest dog or biggest enemy depending on how you let him flourish.
That's why you had bought him a phone to call only you, made him dependant only on you, talked with your parents and together you'd managed to cancel the Hunger games, throwing all the district tributes back in their homes, far far away. Especially Lucy Gray, the songbird who was on her way to charm Coriolanus. How you'd agreed the money from the plinth prize should be used on fixing the damage done by the rebelion bombings.
Coriolanus wasn't a good person.
You were simply better at being bad.
#books#movies#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#the hunger games#coriolanus snow#aesthetic#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus x you#tbosas#manipulation#dom femme#dom fem reader#dom female#sub male reader#sub male character#coriolanus snow x reader#mind corruption#president snow#president snow x reader#lucy grey#lucy gray baird#tbsoas#tbosbas#thg series#thg fanfiction#thg#toxic love#enemies to lovers#rich#female manipulator
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Wow you’re writing is great! If you’re not busy, would you do a Druig request where he’s in love with his fellow Eternal who’s generally neutral in family fights but one Druig manages to bother her enough that he feels guilty and asks for forgiveness because he can handle everyone else being mad at him but not her? Thank you in advance!
wounding me softly
pairing: druig x fem!eternal!reader
summary: in which druig is increasingly distracted in battle and reader has had enough.
warnings: reader says some slightly not very nice things to druig, sliiiightest angst, brief intimacy
reader pronouns: she/her (by request)
word count: 2.1k
*✧ eternals masterlist | main masterlist | ask ✧*
Druig was getting on your last nerve. Literally.
Arishem had gifted you the ability to heal others, but what you hadn’t told the rest of the Eternals was that this “ability” came with a catch - each time, you had to absorb the injury in order to heal it. Early on in your inception, you’d decided it was some punishment, for what you had no clue, but as you became an integral part of the Eternals and learned from each of them, you’d come to see it as your own private gift - a way to develop untapped empathy and care for others. It made you the beautiful person you were.
Right now, however, Druig was testing your patience. The two of you had spent much time together during the early part of your stay in Babylon, and had grown close enough that Druig had started showboating in battles, leading the two of you to keep a tally of Deviants slain and owing each other various snacks after battle depending on who won. You were happy for the first time in a long, long time. You had even let yourself wonder if there might be more on the horizon between you. Over the last week, however, something had changed. Druig was quieter, withdrawn. You’d find him lost in his thoughts, and, most troublesome was the fact that he seemed to have lost his focus in battle. It was taking its toll.
It had started with slight delays, Druig got where he needed to be but always just a tad too late. At first, you were concerned, checking in on him even though he’d just brush you off. But then you’d begun to get frustrated with the brooding eternal. The battles were becoming more frequent, and as the demand on your abilities grew, so too it seemed did Druig’s wandering mind.
…
Drained and exhausted, you slumped against a wall as Ikaris blasted a Deviant ahead of you on your route to a wounded Kingo.
“Kingo, again?” you sighed as your hands pressed on his abdomen. You felt the deep gash slowly and agonisingly transferring to your own side.
He winced, “It’s not my fault, y/n, I swear-”
“They’re just targeting the weakest link.” Ikaris stated, matter-of-factly.
Kingo scoffed. “Okay, rude.”
Ikaris smirked before responding to Sersi’s summon.
Kingo turned to you, “But seriously, y/n, if Druig showed up every once and a while, maybe these damn Deviants would go down easier.”
You groaned in frustration at the same moment that Kingo sighed in relief. The injury had finished absorbing, but you were severely lightheaded and could barely move. Druig was going to get more than an earful when you got back.
“You’re an angel, y/n.” Kingo announced as he brushed your hair out of your face. “Seriously, I appreciate you so much.”
You grimaced, trying to hide the immense pain you were in. “T-thanks Kingo. Be careful out there, okay?”
He nodded before saluting you. “I won’t let you down, boss.”
…
“Rock, paper, scissors for the last twinkie?”
Druig brushed up against your shoulder playfully in the common space of the Domo, earning him a glare from you, and a chuckle out of Kingo.
“Woah,” Druig began, gesturing to your glare with his twinkie in hand, “Careful with that thing, you could seriously hurt someone!”
You scoffed and walked away, feeling Druig’s confused gaze following your every step. As you walked into your room, you could hear his voice echoing through the walls of the Domo. “Was it something I said?”
“You, my friend, are royally screwed.” Kingo replied, stifling a chuckle.
…
A week had passed since Kingo’s major injury, and you hadn’t spoken a single word to Druig. You knew that the silent treatment was probably a bit immature for an eternal being, but frankly, you couldn’t care less. Being unfocused in battle was one thing, but vanishing when your family needs you the most? That you couldn’t condone.
You knew he’d have an excuse, and part of you was desperate to hear it. You missed him. Of course you did. Your love for him only made your resentment more torturous.
Carefully positioning your still-recovering body against the wall in the meeting room, you watched as the other Eternals filed in with bated breath, wondering how much longer you could keep your secret.
…
Druig’s heart rate spiked as Ajak concluded their meeting, the blood coursing through his veins as he prepared for what he was about to do. He hated confrontation as much as the next person, although the next person was Ikaris...
“Alright, if no one has anything further they wish to present, you’re all dismissed.”
“Actually, Ajak,” Druig began, taking in the eye-rolls from his fellow Eternals as his voice filled the room. “I have something I’d like to discuss.”
Ajak’s patient, loving eyes wandered his face like a warning. “Yes, Druig?”
“Y/n’s been giving me the silent treatment lately, and I’d like to get to the bottom of it.”
“Oh here we go…” muttered Kingo as his eyes met Sprite’s, drawn to the impending drama like a car crash he couldn't tear his eyes from.
“It pains me to bring it up," Druig continued, glaring briefly at Kingo, "but seeing as the Deviants are getting more frequent, I figure we need to gel as a unit, and I don’t feel that we’re doing that.”
“HA,” A voice stirred from the shadowed corner of the meeting room. “You can talk.”
As you emerged from the shadows into the light of the meeting space, Druig took in your appearance - your heavy breathing, the dark bags under your bloodshot eyes, how pale you were. He instinctively moved towards you, resting a featherlight hand on your shoulder. His heart shattered as you winced and pulled away from his usually welcome touch.
“Y/n, you look like crap! What the hell happened?” Then, softly in your ear, “Are you okay?”
Druig felt you tremble the second before you shoved him away from you. “Of course I do! While you’ve been off doing Arishem knows what, we’ve been protecting the humans, and each other, from Deviants. Who, as you so kindly reminded us, are getting more dangerous and more frequent. This is the time that we can’t afford slip-ups, and you’re off with the fairies!”
Druig’s head fell in shame. You hated conflict, least of all with him, and he had driven you to this. He knew it was entirely his fault - he had been distracted lately, and you deserved to know why. “Y/n, I-”
“You’re careless! And you don’t think about anyone but yourself. We can’t afford that, Druig. We’re a team. A family. Act like it.”
He shrunk into himself, every trace of his usual swagger and confidence shattered like the fragile heart he held within. You were right. He had done this to you, left you exhausted and pained - a shell of yourself. The one person he swore he’d never hurt. He mustered the only words he could, hoping they were at least a bandage over your weak frame. At least enough until he could hold you again. “I’m sorry.”
With a deep sigh, he watched as you limped out of the room - step by pained step. Druig looked at the faces of the other Eternals, taking in their disappointment with panicked eyes before rushing out of the room to follow you.
…
“Y/n, wait!”
You groaned as he approached. Every noise you made splintered Druig’s heart a little more. He needed to make this right. Now.
“What, you couldn’t even let me have a badass exit? You’re unbelievable.” You mustered a chuckle to lighten the mood, but Druig saw how it pained you. How you shuddered with each breath.
“Oh my darlin’, you’re not okay.”
You raised an eyebrow, “Obviously, Druig. But great to know you weren’t even listening to my speech-”
“No, I can see it - something’s really wrong.” He lifted an arm above yours and studied your eyes carefully for permission before gently lifting your arm over his shoulder. “Let’s get you to lay down, we can talk when you’re comfortable.”
You winced as Druig lifted your arm, but hummed gratefully at his concern, lifting his hopes ever so slightly that things might just be okay. That he might win his best friend back, if he could muster the courage to be sincere enough.
Druig guided you to your room, and lay you gently on your bed, relishing in the comfortable sigh that emerged from your lips. You looked up at him, guarded but gentle. “Thank you, Druig.”
“You’re welcome, my darlin’.” He softened as he took you in. Then, he eyed your bed. “Mind if I lay with you?”
You hesitated for a moment before nodding your permission.
The silence that followed was full of unspoken emotions. Of feelings too large for the room, but deep enough to create a chasm between you. Until your voice echoed through the dark.
“What’s been going on with you lately? You’re a formidable warrior, unrelenting in battle. What could possibly have you distracted enough that you’d ignore Kingo’s calls for aid?”
Druig sighed. “Look, y/n. It seems we’ve both been keeping secrets. I’ll tell you mine if you promise to tell me yours?”
You eyed his outstretched pinky. “I cannot believe you’re making me pinky swear like our inception was yesterday.”
He laughed gently, “You know you love it.”
Rolling your eyes, you took his pinky in yours. “Fine, pinky swear.”
While your pinkies were still entwined, Druig quickly added, “but you go first!” before letting go.
“You are an actual child, Druig.”
“And you have a secret to tell me…” he replied in a sing-song voice.
The mood was instantly quashed by your serious tone. “I…”
Carefully, Druig took your hand in his. “You know you can tell me anything, my darlin’, I’m not going anywhere.”
You took a deep breath as you looked up at him, meeting his concerned irises.
“My abilities come with a cost. A condition. I can’t heal anyone without taking on their pain first.” Druig searched your eyes, horrified by your words and connecting the dots as you continued, “So, each time I’ve healed the others in battle recently…”
“...you’ve had to take on their injuries yourself and heal from them.” He finished for you.
You nodded sombrely. “Each, and every one. Individually.”
“Oh, my beautiful, beautiful, y/n. Why didn’t you tell us?” Druig looked down sheepishly at your entwined hands before quietly adding, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Your voice was smaller than Druig had ever heard it as you replied, laced with the worries and insecurities you had held inside for an eternity. “I…I didn’t want to burden anyone, to let anyone down, and…I didn’t want you to look down on me for being the only Eternal whose powers are conditional. I was ashamed for a really long time.”
“I could never look down on you, y/n.” Druig began, turning to face you as he gently cupped your cheek and stared into your eyes. “I…I love you.”
Your eyes widened, “You…you do?”
He chuckled sadly, “Of course I do, you beautiful, oblivious fool. I’ve loved you forever.” Druig looked down bashfully before muttering under his breath. “That’s uh, that’s actually why I’ve been so distracted lately.”
“Wait, WHAT?”
“I know, I know, it’s so dumb. I just, I’ve been wanting to ask you if you would ever consider seeing me as more than just the brooding Eternal that boasts in battle for snacks because he’s too shy to ask the girl he loves to be his. I never thought you would ever see me as more and I…I would daydream about us in battle, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. About us. Then, last week I saw these flowers - daisies, I- I know they’re your favourite - when this Deviant shoved me to the ground deep in the forest and I thought they would be perfect for some grand romantic gesture and then I heard about Kingo and- I’m so sorry y/n, I ruined everything, I hurt you, and-”
Druig’s panicked rambling faded into nothingness the second he felt your lips graze his. Gentle, shy at first, and then more deeply, with a passion that he felt at his core. He moaned against your lips, “Y-y/n, I-”
“That is somehow equally the sweetest and dumbest thing I’ve ever heard come out of that beautiful-” kiss, “-beautiful-” kiss, “-mouth.”
With a lovestruck gaze, and an empty mind, Druig’s eyes moved from your lips to your eyes as he took in the sight before him. “Y-you forgive me?”
You smiled then, cupping his face gently before placing another tentative kiss on his waiting lips. “I’ll do you one better. I love you, you sweet, idiotic Eternal. I’d be honoured to be yours.”
The two of you lay there in contented silence, falling asleep entwined in each other's embrace, knowing that everything would be okay. Knowing that you had each other.
...
a/n: hi lovely, i’m so very sorry for how long it’s taken me to get around to this request. it was my last druig request for AGES and I was just so nervous that if I wrote my last druig request I wouldn't get any more, so I held onto this baby like my life depended on it. that being said, I tweaked the request a little bit and I ADORED writing this. I hope that it’s everything that you wanted it to be, and please please feel free to request for baby boy again because I love writing for him SO MUCH 🤍
i’m so excited to get back into writing again, i finally finished my honours degree and I have so much creativity it’s not even funny - hoping to really smash out a bunch of your requests and create a writing schedule so i can keep it up because i miss and love writing for you all! thank you so much for your patience and support, you mean the world to me and i’m thankful for you every day
#druig x reader#druig#eternals#druig x fem!reader#barry keoghan#druig imagines#eternals imagine#fem reader#druig x fem reader#druig x femme!reader#druig x femme reader#marvel imagine#marvel x reader#marvel x fem!reader#marvel x femme reader#marvel x fem reader#marvel x femme!reader#female reader#druig x female reader#druig x female!reader#eternals x female!reader#eternals x reader#druig x eternal!reader#druig x eternal reader#marvel oneshot#druig oneshot#eternals oneshot#druig x you#requests open#daniella writes 💫
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So Soaked ᥫ᭡ || MDNI !! 18+
(or risk it and don't get caught, if you're under 18 and sneaky 🤷🏻♀️)
from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸
cw : smut, jealousy, sex, c4m, tease, head, pet names, touch, swearing, shouting, use of Y/N. (let me know if I missed anything!!) !! NOT READ THROUGH YET !!
summary : after a long night at a bar, Ellie had enough when you started flirting back at a stranger, though she knew you would never cheat, she was still mad.
fem!reader sub!reader
-
"The fuck was that?!" Ellie shouted as you both walked inside your shared apartment after a long silent car ride. "Stop being dramatic." you stated, quickly coming to your own defense. "Fucking sex jokes? Flirting? Really?! Fuck, Y/N!" Ellie said as she slowly approached you before she continued, "..fucking strip..right.. now." Ellie said strictly which made you hold and hide a smirk because, damn, did you love hearing those words.
You slowly took off your top and then slowly your skirt after. "Couch." Ellie demanded to which you immediately accepted, and as you made your way over, Ellie was not too far away. Ellie waited for you to situate yourself on the couch before she immediately straddled you, aiming her rough kisses at your neck before moving down. Suddenly a moan escape your lips, "...Els.."
"I know baby, I know." Ellie said as she propped herself up on her elbows before leaving kisses all over your stomach and soon enough Ellie took off her own shirt before kissing you and finding the clip to your bra. "Can I, princess?" Ellie asked softly but intimidatingly and you nodded. "Words baby. I wanna hear you say it." Ellie whispered onto your lips as you both kept eye contact. "Yes..please.." you softly asked. "Good girl..just like that mama." Ellie said before removing your bra and examining your body. "My beautiful girl.." Ellie immediately cupped one tit with her hand while taking the other in her mouth. "Fuuhcck, Els.." you moaned out while covering your face and then suddenly Ellie stopped and looked up at you as one tit was still being cupped. "Move your hand. Eyes down here baby." Ellie said in sort of a raspy whisper. You looked down at Ellie where she was straddling you, "...Don't stop." you whined out.
Ellie chuckled and moved down past your stomach. "So fucking needy baby." Ellie kissed the insides of your thighs taking her sweet time. "I think someone forgot how they let a stranger talk dirty to them." Ellie teasingly cooed. "I'm sorry Els..please I need you s'bad." you whined once again. "Y'look so pretty begging f'me." Ellie said as she moved to your clothed slit that had an obvious wet spot. "So soaked baby." Ellie slowly slid the remaining clothing down your legs onto the floor. "So fucking gorgeous...whose it for hm?" Ellie tease, making you whine out. "Yours! i'm all yours, please." You could tell Ellie wasn't gonna make this easy. "Hmmm? I can't hear you baby, cmon." Ellie knew you were getting frustrated. She loved getting that satisfaction after what you did at that bar. "I'm yours Ellie! please..fuck me.." you begged. Ellie chuckled with a smug smirk on her face. "Such a good fucking girl..but you gotta be patient f'me okay?" Ellie gently spread your legs before tasting your soaked cunt. "Oh f..fuck." You instantly bucked your hips until Ellie pinned them down. "Keep lookin' at me baby, you taste s'good mama."
Ellie soon enough began lapping your folds and finding that bundle of nerve's that her tounge swirled and her lips sucked. "Els..Els.Elselselselsssss fuck! fuck fuck!" you chanted as she added her digits and you eventually felt the knot build in your stomach. Ellie knew how to make you cum even without effort. "Cmon baby, let it go f'me, you can take it." Ellie said into your dripping cunt. "Fuck Els! I'm gonna..-" You were suddenly cut off when Ellie added another finger, causing you to arch up and pull at her hair, and soon enough, you rode out your orgasm. Ellie made sure to slow her pace as you came down so she wouldn't overstimulate you. Ellie brought her fingers up to your mouth.
"Y'did so good pretty." Ellie said as she kissed you n stroked your hair with her free hand, and as soon as you were relaxed she left the room quickly. "Ellie?" You asked for her softly, and before you knew it she came back with a warm cloth and a cup of water. She even had a robe around her shoulder that she would put on you after her sweet aftercare. 💞💞
#ellie williams#ellie williams smut#ellie x fem reader#ellie x reader#smut#ellie#ellie the last of us#ellie tlou#ellie x y/n#ellie x you#free gaza#free palestine#🍉#free 🍉#palestine 🍉#femme#femme lesbian#lgbtq#wlw love#wlw#wlw ns/fw#wlw smut#so soaked#minors dni#mdni#18+ mdni#18+ content#18+ only
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Hard to sleep
bsf!ellie x bsf!reader
Masc!ellie x fem!reader
summary: Modern au where you and Ellie are best friends and in college together. About the queer situationship so many of us had with our best friend :,)
It’s angsty but still fluffy I swear 😪
(Happy End)
c.w: smut!!, weed, mention of alcohol and drugs and long af and I think that’s it but speak up if i missed something!!!
authors note: this is my first fic so please be nice to me, but still give critic so I can write better next time 🫶
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“Wakey wakey sunshine it’s time to get upp”
You sigh annoyed thinking you’re still asleep and dreaming some shit, because of course Ellie follows you into your dreams.
“Dude get the fuck up” this time her voice doesn’t sound so subdued and you jump out of your sleep.
“Holy fuck”
You Look at Ellie whose casually going through your dorm room, packing your bag for you.
“You really need to stop oversleeping the classes that are the most important to you and going to the ones no one cares about”
You sigh still tired and feeling your heart beating way too fast and loud.
“You really need to stop showing up here when I’m unconscious, you always scare the shit out of me”
“I literally called you sunshine, how does that scare you?”
You giggle a bit and sit up straight, stretching yourself before standing up completely.
Ellie gives you your packed bag and you take it, still in pjs.
“You do know by the time I’m done, the lecture will be almost over” you mention to her as you open the braid form last night.
“Who said I’m waiting for you huh?”
“Um I do?”
You Look at her grinning, she sits at your desks while watching you do your hair with her green eyes following almost every move.
You Look Away quickly and go to the bathroom to brush your teeth.
Sometimes it feels like there’s a time limit when you two look at each other, like you have to watch out that it’s not too long and not too short. Most of the time Ellie doesn’t care and just keeps staring, but for you it’s important to not cross the friendship line. No one looks at their best friends for too long, no one worries about looking at their best friend too long.
You just don’t want to fuck this up.
“You should wear a skirt today”
“Huh?”
Ellie appears in the door.
“It’s hot today you should wear something short” she says again
“This your way of making me wear skirts for you?”
Ellie chuckles in her casual husky voice.
“Yeah that’s exactly what I’m doing”
“That was so fucking boring, you could’ve let me missed this one too Ellie” you whine
Ellie groans as the both of you walk to one of the cafe’s on campus, meeting your roommate Audrey and some of Ellies friends as well.
“I’m like 90% sure he said important stuff in the beginning and we just missed it because of you”
“Yeah yeah whatever I’m sorry ellie, I’ll try fixing my sleep schedule okay?”
“I’ll ask Audrey too take away your laptop and phone maybe you’ll have a chance then”
You bump your shoulder into hers and she giggles.
It doesn’t take much too make you feel nostalgic when you spend time with Ellie. Only warm air, sunshine and her laugh.
That’s all you’ll ever need and that all you’ll never have forever.
“I’m gonna meet up with Iris later”
Her tone sounds natural, no hesitation and you are sure she doesn’t know what her words do to you.
And the worst part is you can’t even be mad at her, you have no right to be.
You look down at your shoes that go in the same tact with Ellie’s, over and over again.
“Really? Was she the one with the braids?”
Ellie nods and you try to make some eye contact. You don’t want her to feel bad, even tho you’re sure she has no idea how you actually feel, and you always try to be happy for her. But maybe you want her to get it. Maybe you want her to see how you look at her, maybe then she’ll finally understands.
But she just keeps walking and looking forward.
“There wasn’t a frat party in so long you have to come!”
Audrey is basically begging, she even pulls your arm.
“Everyone is talking about it in my class, since it’s the last one before everyone is going home so they wanna party big” Jesse explains with a big smirk on his face.
Ellie and you look at each other from across the table, sipping your ice coffees.
You give her a uncertain look, you know she’ll go if you go and you’ll go if she does.
“Who’s gonna be there?” She asks and your eyes land on Dina, who normally knows every human alive.
“Everyone I hope but I’m sure a few won’t go so why don’t you just tell me her name Ellie?” Dina says, a teasing look on her face and your heart feels heavy again.
“Iris. I sit with her in biology”
“Aw cute you sit with her?” Audrey says mocking her friendly, but she gives you a empathetic look. She’s the only one who knows about your feelings, since she was the one who was with you when you got a bit too drunk and told her about all the feeling you ever had.
Ellie looks at you for just a second, but thank god you didn’t miss it, and your cheeks turn red. You keep drinking your drink.
“Yes I know her she’s sweet but I don’t know if she’ll be there”
Ellie immediately grabs her phone and types something in it.
Jesse goes ordering something and Dina talks with Audrey about the party and what to wear.
Your feet kicks Ellie’s softly, so she looks up at you.
“Just ask her if you could met there, I’m sure she doesn’t mind” you say trying to sound as supportive as possible.
Ellie looks unsure and you grab her arm soft, feeling the fabric of her flannel jacket she’s so obsessed with.
“She likes you Ellie, god how couldn’t she and she should be happy about spending some time with you and you’re friends. I know it would make you feel more relaxed too, knowing you’re not alone” you try to whisper it but Audrey and Dina are loud talker anyway.
You smile at her and take your hand back. Ellie looks at you and her cheeks turn a slightly pink shade. She was never good with sentimental talk, too bad you’re so good at it.
“You don’t have to meet her yet you know” she says finally.
“What do you mean? Why shouldn’t I?”
“I don’t know… I wasn’t sure if you wanted too”
“I’m your best friend why would you think that Ellie?”
“I don’t know I just… never mind it’s stupid”
She starts looking at her phone again but you keep staring at her confused, angry and even a bit sad. You’re pretty positive that you weren’t obvious at all for the past years, so what did you do to fuck up so bad?
“Okay she’ll be there”
“Yeah?” Jesse asks, sitting down again with a sandwich in his hand.
“Yup she says she heard about it too and wanted to ask me if I would like to go”
“Damn that’s some soulmate shit” he says chuckling and you look out the window for something distracting
“It’s gonna be fine, if it’s too much for you we can leave” Audrey tries to comfort you.
“I’m gonna be okay Audrey don’t worry, i think I can do this” you know you actually can’t do this.
“I think this is all just in your head, the whole “Being scared of losing her” thing” she mentions quiet.
It’s not just that your scared of losing her, your scared of wanting her so much that you can’t control it anymore and then losing her.
“Just go ahead with the others, I think I’ll take a bit longer… I’m just gonna take an Uber” you keep digging through your closet searching for anything you would like to wear.
“You sure?” Audrey voice sounds unsure.
“Yes it’s a short drive I’ll be fine”
“Fine but if you change your mind then I’m more than fine with just watching a movie with you Here”
“I won’t I promise we’re gonna have fun tonight” you smile at her as she walks out the door saying goodbyes and waving quickly.
Right after she left you could hear your own thoughts way too clear and it felt like your mind was ready to destroy the whole evening.
You stare at your wardrobe searching for something, but this unsettling feeling is eating you from the inside and you lay down on the bed again, putting your face in your hands.
The tears just rush down your cheeks and your body lets them. You imagine the time where Ellie has a girlfriend wife, a woman that is more important than you and the person she wants to do all the things you want to do with her. You’ll have to be at their wedding and at their house to eat fucking dinner once a year.
You would do a lot for Ellie to want you as this person, but you tell yourself that you’re not gonna cry here because that won’t change anything.
You take your phone from the night stand next to you and open the camera, seeing mascara all over your cheeks.
“Fuck” you whisper annoyed
You try to whip them away, then you get a text from Ellie.
I’m gonna pick you up in an hour okay
What about iris? Shouldn’t you pick her up?
I wanna pick up you tho, she’ll be fine we said we would meet at the party
You don’t have to do that Ellie
I get it really
I want to pick you up. Is that okay with you miss?
I can hear you say this in my head
Shut up and get ready dork
You smile and the smile tastes like hope and assurance and love.
In the end you decided to wear a shirt mint green dress that has a V cut with a little cute white bow in the middle. Since how to walk in heels is a fucking mystery, you wear your Mary janes shores in dark red.
You put your hair up and put on a brown leather jacket from Isla.
There’s a knock on the door as you try to save your make up a bit.
You take one last look in the mirror and decide that your fine with how you look. With your bag around your shoulder you open the door and meet Ellie’s eyes immediately.
You smile excited and do a little spin.
“is this okay?” You ask her
“Pretty. You look very pretty”
You take a Look at Ellie’s outfit.
Baggy jeans with a white t shirt and her blue jeans jacket and converse. You could see her black sports bra though her white tee and looked away quickly, feeling your face heat up and your mind swift away to other places.
“You do too, even your hair is open for once. Looks very good” you say and take a step forward, so you could let your fingers go through her hair. She puts her hands on your arms and closed her eyes for a bit. You fixed a few hair strings and looked at her. You often saw her this close up but you’ll always thank the universe for another chance of seeing her like this. The freckles over her cheeks and her nose, hell even her forehead.
She is so beautiful and so sweet, sure she tries to hide it most of the time but in these moments you’re both just two girls holding each others most vulnerable versions.
A moment later you find yourself hugging her tight.
Your arms are around her neck and you take a deep breath in. She hugs you back, her arms around your waist.
“I love you a lot and I hope that doesn’t change ever.”
You whisper in her ear
“I love you too…”
You eventually let go of her and try to show her that you’re still happy and excited for tonight, even though you really just want to hug and kiss her the whole night and not watch her do this with some other girl.
“Let’s go I’m sure the others are already there”
“Frat boys are some weird people but fuck their party’s are good”
Ellie’s voice makes you look right as you guys get out her car and fuck she’s right. There are people everywhere. Outside the frat house, inside and you’re sure some people are gonna end up on the roof at some point too.
“I’m gonna drink so fucking much before I need to go back home” you say, real excitement in your veins this time.
Ellie giggles and the both of you try to get through the drunk people on the front porch.
It’s louder inside the house, where a tone of lights shine around in the room, everyone is dancing and you could smell alcohol in the air.
Your eyes scan everything around you, but then you hear Ellie curse.
“What wrong?” You get a bit closer to her again.
She looks a bit pissed but you couldn’t find anything else in her expression.
“Iris is gonna be here in an hour”
“Thats a bit late” is all that comes to your mind.
“No shit, she thought we would meet up at that time but still it’s just….” She looks at your biting her under lip
You take a step back and look at her really mad now.
“What is it that bad to spent some time with me here Ellie? We don’t have too you know you wanted to pick me up, you wanted to go tonight what the fuck?” You hear your own voice getting louder with every word.
You were trying. Trying to be supportive and not jealous. Trying not to think about her, about all the things you dream about. But this just feels like some fucked up joke.
“No! Fuck- you know that not what I mean…”
Ellie’s hands reach out for you but you step back again.
“Don’t fucking Touch me.”
And for once in a while Ellie was the one, who felt the sharp pain of rejection. Her hands slowly drop and her eyes never looked so green. Her eyes look around the room for a second, but after she realises that you’re not gonna change your mind she puts her hands inside her jacket and walked more inside the house.
You don’t feel the tears this time. They just appear in your eyes as you watch Ellie walk away.
You Turn left and walk up the stairs, trying to not let anybody see you cry.
You Wander around for a bit feeling like a ghost, not even sure how to think a single thought right.
After a while you find yourself in, you think the bedroom, of one the frat boys. A group of people sit on the floor, talking and smoking a joint.
Even tho you don’t really like smoking, you thought about it for a second and it didn’t sound so bad Anymore.
You stood there awkwardly, staring at them not sure what to do, but then you heard a voice behind you.
“You want one?” A tall girl with long blond hair asks.
“Excuse me?” You feel your pulse go up in embarrassed.
“A joint? I have one if you wanna smoke a bit?”
You look at her with your mouth a bit open.
Then you gave the group a last look, their laughing looking like they don’t care about a thing in the world.
“Yes… yeah sure why not”
The girl smiles and you follow her to another room, a bathroom which was surprisingly quiet. As soon as she closes the door, the noises sounds muffled.
You Open a window and lean on to the wall.
“You a student too? Or a friend of a friend?” You ask her, hating the awkward silences.
The girls steps beside you and pulls out a joint and a lighter.
“Student sadly, I would be fine with being the cousin of one of the football players” she chuckles slightly and light up the joint pretty smooth.
“So Whats Your name?” She asks you and hands you the joint.
You Take a Hit trying not to cough, but of course you fail.
You mumble your name, as you try to take a normal breath again.
“First time?” A smirk on her a face, but at least she’s not laughing.
“No but I don’t smoke often”
“Hm”
“Sorry what’s your name?”
She takes another hit and it looks way to easy when she does it which bring you wanting to do it better the next time and even better the next one.
“Abby”
“Nickname?”
“Yeah for Abigail”
“Hm cute name” you mention and take your … maybe 4th hit? You should stop counting now.
“Thank you… so what do you study?
“Psychology” I murmur
Her eye brown go up in surprise and you giggle a bit at the face she makes.
“Clinical?” She asks and it surprises gib that she knows about the difference.
“No, general”
“Oh you’re a smart girl then huh?”
You laugh loud and laughing and since you’re in a bathroom the laugh comes back way louder.
“Not really most of the time I miss the classes that I I really wanna watch” you say and your mind goes wandering off to ellie again but you try to focus on Abby in front of you.
“What do you study? Tell me what are you here for Abigail?” You say to her and she makes a face again.
“God only my dad calls me Abigail it’s kinda funny coming from an almost stranger”
And that’s so sweet that you can’t help but smile at her but then your eyes meet…. And god hers are so red that you pray silently that yours do not have the same colour.
“Pre-med”
“And you call me smart girl Abby” you say with big eyes.
“You might become a fucking doctor”
She giggled embarrassed and you could tell that the weed was working.
“I Hope so” she says looking a bit sad even and your first thought was that she might think she couldn’t do it.
You put your arm on her shoulder and your mouth falls open.
Fuck this woman has some muscles.
You squeeze her arm for a second and then realise that she’s staring at you with a confused grin.
“Sorry i Know we Don’t know each other, but I can just like you know feel that you’re intelligent and interesting and hard working and - I mean bro look at your arms I’m not even sure if that’s possible” you say laughing again.
Your laugh doesn’t stop for a few seconds, but as soon as it dies you worried that you might have over stepped the line.
You Look at her Face and she just smiles really nice and not mad or hurt just pure sweetness.
She’s really nice and your sure you guys could be friends and now you’re kinda scared that you gave off the wrong idea.
“What the fuck?”
Your heads turn to the door where a very disturbed ellie is standing.
“Ellie hey… no wait I’m mad at you”
“You’re mad at me? I’ve been looking in the whole damn house and I find you smoking weed from a stranger the fuck do you mean?”
You’ve seen Ellie being angry a lot. She was mad, because of a comic con where she didn’t get to but a signed version of her fav comic. Or when she cursed out some old dude who was driving too slow.
But never this mad.
“We’re going”
Your mind is still spinning then suddenly Ellie grabs your arm and wanting to pull you out the door but Abby steps between you both.
“Sorry but you can’t just do that”
“You don’t know shit”
Abby was definitely taller and stronger than Ellie, but Ellie’s temper was probably even bigger.
“I know she doesn’t want to go with you”
Abby snaps and Ellie’s grip gets stronger around your waist and she goes past Abby through the door.
You give Abby an apologetic look, Ellie only slows down when you are at her car.
“Get in” she hisses
You get in and you swore to yourself that this whole situation will end tonight.
“Ellie-“
“Don’t just please don’t talk right now please”
She sounded exhausted. Hurt as well like she hasn’t slept in days. Her head rests on the steering wheel for a few seconds, her back goes up and down from her strong breathing and you just shut up with tears in your eyes.
The ride was quiet, not even the radio was on. You could only hear the noise of the car driving, it’s humming which calmed you and Ellie down a bit. You still cried in silence the whole time.
You got out of the car without a word and walked up the stairs to your room, Ellie close behind you.
You Open the door with your keys and you both sit down on your bed. This might be the longest time the both of you haven’t talked while being together and it feels so incredible wrong.
“Why did you step back from me in the beginning. Why didn’t you let me touch you?”
Her voice broke at the end and you looked up to see tears running down her cheeks as well.
“Because … I felt like you didn’t want me there with you. Like you would swap me with her if you had the chance. That hurt me and I know I don’t have the right-“
“I would always choose you”
This time she didn’t sound sad, her voice sounds and feels delicate. Something tickled in your heart, like a string only she pulled on.
“I would choose you in every universe, in every scenario just tell me what you want. Tell me what you want and I’ll be it for you”
Ellie has this affect on your heart, your soul.
She could hurt you so much more and you’ll still choose her over and over again as well.
You’ll choose each other.
You Look at her lips and back to her eyes.
“I want you to kiss me-“
She didn’t waste a second, she put her hand on the back of your head and pushed you to her, the first time ellie kissed you, you tasted like weed and alcohol. And Ellie didn’t care.
If you taste like that she’ll taste like it too.
And you would still kiss each other over and over again.
Your hands found her hair again, like a few hours ago but this time you weren’t careful, you touched her the way you wanted.
Her hands found your hip and she pulled you on her lap.
“Wait - wait”
She stopped immediately.
“What about Iris?” You feel like crying again, if you’re just a replacement because it didn’t work out with her then you might kill her.
Ellie gaze is focused on her hand, that’s still on your hip.
“I couldn’t do it”
“Couldn’t do what?”
Ellie closed her eyes, frustration showing on her whole face
“I couldn’t do this to you- Jesus to her I just couldn’t. I kept on wishing it was you instead of her. The whole time and I mean for weeks. But I can’t lose you and I sure as hell can’t forget you”
Your breath feels lost and I feel dizzy.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” You ask her and out both of your hand on her cheeks, so that she looks up at you.
“Why didn’t you? Because I was scared. Scared of losing you or us or both”
Her eyes got a bit watery again, you’ve known her for so long and you couldn’t even read her when she was hurting the most.
“Give me a second”
You got up and grabbed your phone out of your bag.
Audrey, sleep in Dina’s dorm tonight, in Ellie’s bed
And don’t worry about Ellie
Always warm your roommate about hook ups, or whatever this is. God you Hoped this wasn’t a one time thing.
“You’re okay with sleeping here?”
Ellie’s eyes went wide and her face got red.
“Yeah I mean yes for sure why shouldn’t I-?”
You sit down on her lap and kiss her again, harder this time.
“Is it okay if we fuck? Or too fast?” You ask her looking right into her eyes, so she would understand how serious you mean it.
“N-no im fine Are you fine?”
You grinned, she was so cute when she was nervous.
“I’m fine Ellie. Say stop and I’ll stop okay? Promise me you’ll do that?” You kiss down her neck as you speak and even there her skin was burning.
“Yes I can do that”
You get up to her face again and kiss her soft.
“Can you open my dress for me?”
She nods and her hands disappear behind your back.
The fabric on your skin never felt heavier and you just needed to get it off your skin. You needed Ellie to see you, to touch you.
Thank god you’re wearing pretty underwear, otherwise the anxiety would’ve ruined your confidence.
The cold gave you a little shiver, Ellie hand found your waist again and you literally melted under her touch.
A few seconds ago you were nervous how she might look at you. Ellie has experience, you too sure but she’s enough for you just by being here with you in this moment. You don’t know how she feels about you.
The warm light of your lamp shines on her face and her freckles never looked more beautiful.
Her eyes wander over your whole body.
Your lace bra, your legs, stomach and you’ve never felt this intimate with a person. It’s because this time it’s with her. And you feel golden, god she feels golden, the whole room does.
Ellie’s eyes stop at your bra and she grins.
“You’re so pretty” she whispers, as she kisses the exposed skin.
You sigh smiling, your hands finds her t shirt.
“Is this okay?” You ask for her permission.
She nods still kissing, touching your boobs over your bra and the two of you giggle as you take off her shirt and now both of you are almost naked In front of each other.
“I really wanna do this with some music on” she mumbles under her breath. A few moments later frank oceans voice is filling the room from Ellie’s phone. The bad quality made you chuckle.
Your hands touch her black sports bra, caressing over her small breasts and Ellie shivered for a moment.
It’s all you ever wanted.
All her rough and soft parts combine so good and make you feel so much, that you only want to scream.
You’ve seen Ellie in a sport bra before, at the beach or when she came from the gym, but you’ve always had this weird love for her toned forearms.
Ellie watched you with drunk looking eyes. Now she looks like the one who smoked the joint.
“I’ve imagined this before, so often it’s kinda embarrassing” she confesses.
You shake your head. “Im sure that I could keep up with it”
Your fingers started to make little circles around her nipples while you watched her face carefully, so that you wouldn’t kiss one expression.
Her eyes shut down and her brows furrow in pleasure.
For a while both of you almost fought about the control.
“Please let me take this off” she begs her hands already on your back, as she fumbles trying to get your bra open which was hard because you were moving a lot. From her neck, to her ear, to the other side.
But as soon as your breast were completely exposed, Ellie’s eyes darken and a satisfied grin appears on her mouth.
Feeling her eyes on you made your skin burn and you bury your face in your hands again growling frustrated.
“Please stop Ellie” you begged but you couldn’t help letting a little laugh coming out of your mouth.
You felt her hands on your boobs grabbing them softly, with a chuckle she starts massaging them.
“Stop What?” She mumbles, playing dumb obviously.
Her hands leave and suddenly it feels too cold without them. Ellie gently grabs your wrist and moves your hands away, so she could look at your face.
“Look at me, I won’t do anything unless you watch” she whispers.
It terrifies you for some reason. This moment and the consequences it will have.
Her head moves a bit lower to your boobs and she looks you in the eyes. You feel your emotions everywhere in your body, some are different from others.
“Here”
Ellie takes your hand and guides it too her hair.
“Hold my hair back for me” her voice sounds almost like she was in a trance, a trance she surly enjoyed.
The strings of her hair felt soft around your fingers and you decided to use both of your hands, so that no hair got into her face.
You heard a soft chuckle before she starts kissing your breast softly at first, while looking at you.
Her lips slightly brush against your already swollen nipple and you let out a loud high pitched moan.
You could feel her grin on your skin and all the embarrassment was gone.
She gently caresses over your nipple with her tongue and her fingers played with the other one.
“I really love these fuck” she whispers
The feeling in your core got worse and worse and the needy feeling was almost getting too painful.
“Ellie please I-“ her tongue flickers over you pink swollen nipple and you moan again.
“Hm?” She says completely focused on her work.
“Can you please eat me out or finger me I don’t care just please-“
the look on you face showed her how much you need it, because she immediately stopped and dropped you off her lap onto the bed.
“Yeah I can do that, didn’t know you could ever beg for something” she lets out a little giggle in her typical husky voice, while she kisses you down your body.
Your back found the wall and you changed your position, so that you could still watch her.
Her hands removed your underwear and the cold on your pussy makes you shiver.
She puts your legs over her shoulder and lays down on her stomach.
Her head lift up and she looks at you with a grin, an amused grin.
“What?” Your voice shakes a bit.
“Nothing just happy to be here”
You let out a loud laugh which died a second later, because Ellie starts to lick your clit in evil circles.
“You’re so fucking wet” she murmurs with closed eyes just saw tasting you.
Your voice got louder and louder by every move her tongue made and you could feel her enjoying every second.
“Oh my god faster Ellie please-“
Her tongue licks you faster, she couldn’t stop humming to your moans like she was feeling it too.
“You taste so good, just like I imagined”
Because of her words you got Even more turned on and you moan again, while Ellies holding you legs steady around her face.
“I’m gonna add a finger okay?”
You nodded energetic and gave off a little noise.
“Please Ellie just fuck me” you’re voice sounded like somebody else’s, way too high and way too filthy.
Ellie just chuckled and put her a finger inside your Pussy. She could feel how you’re legs tense on her cheek, as she continued too lick you’re clit.
The cruel combination made you go crazy, feeling dizzy in your head and your hips began too move on their own.
Ellie saw that as a sign too go faster as well, and her finger pushed in an out of your cunt.
“Ellie- please don’t stop”
She grins again, never imagined she would actually have you going crazy like this because of her.
“You’re getting tighter you close baby?” She teased shameless.
“Fuck- so close god-“
She adds another finger and the sudden stret made you moan and tremble at the same time.
“Come for me baby, please, make a mess on my fingers” Ellie sounded close herself and hearing her voice this desperate made you come so hard that you only saw stars for a moment.
“Oh my god- Ellie I’m gonna-!”
You came hard and ellie took everything you gave her, slurping and licking the fuck out of you.
You couldn’t stop panting for a moment, coming down from your high.
When you open your eyes Ellie was still cleaning up the mess you made, feeling her tongue on your skin.
“Okay Ellie- enough or I’m gonna cum again”
You said chuckling.
“Not my fault you taste so good holy shit” she puts her finger in her mouth.
“Ew ellie”
“Shut up I just fucked you with my mouth, you’re not allowed too judge me right now” she slides up to you and kisses your lips deeply with her tongue in your mouth, so you could taste yourself.
You kiss her back, just as eager, but the anxious thoughts won’t leave you alone.
“Um-“ you break the the kiss and Ellie whimpers slightly.
“Ellie is this just-“
“I love you.” She interrupts you, saying the words fast and it didn’t feel real for a second.
“What”
“Ive loved you for a while now I just- I’m sorry for not telling you but I was scared, god I was scared”
Her words hurt you, because you’ve felt the same way. Being too scared to tell someone how you feel is a shitty feeling.
She looks at you, but broke the eye contact immediately.
You pull her into you, kissing her cheek, her nose, her forehead, her everything.
“I also love you… that for a while as well”
A.n: sorry this was so fucking long 😭
And please Interact with the link about helping Palestine it’s literally just one click per day!!!
Anyways I hope you liked it and if there’s anything that I’ve missed or smth pls tell me!!
#ellie williams#Ellie the las of us part two#Ellie Williams x reader#ellie williams fanfic#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams smut#ellie williams angst#wlw#tlou2#ellie tlou#tlou fanfiction#the last of us fanfiction#the last of us fandom#femme reader#fanfic#first post#abby anderson#abby tlou#Spotify
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She Wants Me Dead - Miguel O'Hara x Reader | Part I
I support women's rights and wrongs.
cw: toxic situationships, pathetic Miguel O'Hara, femme fatale reader, suggestive situations.
1 2 3
I love her so bad but she treats me like shit.
Miguel knows it's wrong. Hell, he has known from day one she was never someone anyone should ever get involved with. Oh, how he wishes he was strong enough to lock her up and throw away the key that held his love for her.
Oh, take this veil from off my eyes.
''Hey, big guy.'' His body tensed up when he heard the voice coming from behind him. His heart aches. He hates when you do that, showing up all smug as if you don't disappear for days, contacting him only when you need him.
''I missed you.'' He barely glanced down at you, noting how you always appear to make yourself smaller, even more adorable. Your soft, small hands running up and down the muscles on his back before your arms wrap themselves around his waist.
''... why do you do this to me?'' Is all he can ask, turning around and leaning down as he picks you up with ease, your legs wrapping around his waist while your arms hold his neck for support, face nuzzling his neck as you take in his scent. He closes his eyes, trying to focus on anything but the way your body fits perfectly on his.
''Do what? I like you— You're the best.'' A soft kiss is delivered to his jaw and he flinches slightly, breath hitching and neck growing rigid as you keep brushing your soft lips against it. He hates how his whole body language changes to show a degree of submission to you. He, the Spider-Man 2099, a 6'9 beast of a man who can tear through anything with his sharp claws and talons, becoming absolute putty under the hands of a villain much smaller than him.
''You know... You're the only superhero I like. Not only because you give me money— I mean, a big part is because of it, but you also look cool.'' You praise lazily, knowing he'd love any compliment coming from your lips.
''You know what? ... You're my favorite villain.'' I hate myself. His body is still tense from holding you so close, yet he can't help but want you, despite all he knows about you. Despite the way you use and abuse him. His voice is husky, but it's true; he's completely under your spell. A soft snicker comes from your lips, instantly making him roll his eyes.
''How much do you need this time?'' He changes the topic. He has a feeling and he knows you'll ask for a big amount of money, but he wants to hear you say it. He already pays for your lifestyle, yet somehow that's not enough for you, so he bends backwards to please you and avoid anything that can make you angry, upset, or leave. He has the money for it, anyway.
''Hmm... Just around $3000.'' You shrug your shoulders and look up at him with the same cat-like grin that makes his knees weak every. single. time.
''Just three grand?'' His shock is clearly feigned, yet you still snicker softly and his eyes lose a tiny bit of the edge in them. ''if it'll make you shut up for another 10 minutes, I'll give it to you.'' He shrugs his shoulders, acting uninterested as if he wouldn't lose his shit if you actually didn't talk to him for 10 minutes after your return.
''After that, I'll stop for a while. I'm not your cashcow.'' He adds as an afterthought, giving you a sharp look.
''You're not?'' You ask teasingly, voice laced with mirth as your lips brush against his neck again, planting a kiss right on his pulse. ''What if I do this, papi?'' Your tone is seductive, voice barely above a whisper. Miguel nearly stumbles back in surprise, plump lips parting slightly before he regains his composure. It takes everything he has in him to stay still, allowing your warm tongue to lick a clean line across his neck, muscles tensing up under the warm mass.
''You little—'' He can't even finish his sentence, your lips latching onto his neck after his suit disengages just enough to give you space to kiss, sucking on the previously covered skin as you leave your mark.
''Little what...? Little slut?'' You tease, gently licking the mark you made before starting to make a new one right below, being mindful enough to make sure that body part will be covered by his hologram suit.
''... Yes.'' He gasps softly in surrender, a low moan escaping his parted lips as he holds you even tighter, his fingers digging into the fabric of your clothes. He can feel his entire body shake from his knees up.
''When will I get the money?'' You finally let go of his poor, now marked up neck, looking up at him with the same smirk that he sees on his dreams and nightmares.
Miguel takes a second to catch his breath, looking around to make sure no one is near his office before he replies to you. ''When do you need it? Today? Tomorrow?'' His tone is even and businesslike now that he regained his breath.
''Today would be great.'' He brushes a stray strand of hair behind your ear, internally slapping himself yet wondering how someone so beautiful could be so evil. So shamelessly manipulative.
''You'll have it by tonight.'' He confirmed, his voice firmer and his expression serious as he looked down at you, still carrying you like you weight nothing— and for a man his height, you don't.
''But it'll be the last time. I'm not giving you any more money after this.'' He adds while looking at one of his monitors, afraid to look at you in fear of his resolve wavering.
''So I'll have to ask another man for money, Miguel...?'' Your tone is controlled and dangerous, though he can hear you feigning sadness at the news. Your hand holds his cheek, thumb right below his high cheekbone as you force him to look at you. ''What if he wants something else from me?''
Miguel bites his tongue and clenches his fists. God fucking dammit. He knows better than this. He hates when you make it all about you, and he hates how he falls for it every single time, as if he didn't know all your tactics by now.
''... Fine. You can have your money.'' His voice is rough, almost a growl, yet he knows better than to argue.
''You're amazing!'' You praise, arms raising slightly as you fake excitement, as if you didn't know he'd relent anyway. He rolls his eyes, a huff of air coming out of his nose as he gives you an unamused look.
''I'm doing what any good man would do, mami.'' Keep telling yourself that. ''And I'm not amazing, I'm a dumbass.'' He knows full well he's being played by you, that you'll turn those comments on him and use them as ammo, yet he doesn't care. The truth hurts either way, so he chooses to ignore it, he chooses to ignore the little voice in the back of his head and he chooses to love you.
''I'm serious.'' You give him an honest smile— something totally different from those teasing and smug grins you give him when you get your way. Just a pure smile that shows you're having fun with him, in a good way.
His gaze softens slightly when he realizes how honest your smile looks, the way it reaches your eyes and lights them up like stars he could gaze at for eternity, yet eventually the sun has to rise, this time in the form of the harsh reality.
''I see right through you, muñeca. I know your game.'' Miguel says, not rudely and his words don't hold his usual snark.
''It was never a secret.'' You shrug your shoulders, clearly not affected by him knowing you're playing him like a fiddle.
''Never said it was.'' The corners of his lips pull up in a subtle, knowing smirk as he looks down at you. ''But you should know that even without all the manipulation and the games... I'd do anything to help you. I'm a sucker for you, mami.''
''You'd do anything for me?'' Of course that's all you got out of his sentence.
''... Obviously not anything. I draw certain lines.'' He answers with pure honesty, trying to make it seem cool despite having you so close to him. ''But you know me. It doesn't take much to get whatever you want out of me.'' My heart is more yours than mine.
The corners of your lips tilt up into the smirk he knows all too well, yet you don't reply, simply staring up at him with your head slightly tilted to the side, examining his features like you have him under a microscope.
''You could have any woman... so why me?'' You ask curiously, the question that has been eating at your brain finally leaving your lips.
''Why not you?'' He turns the question to you, eyebrows slightly raised as he gives you a knowing look before elaborating. ''You're smart, charismatic, beautiful... Why any other woman when you have it all?'' You hum in acknowledgement, thinking about his words.
''Is it tiring? Loving me?'' Your tone is much more honest this time, as if you're deep in thought. His heart fills with fake hope as he sees your honest expression.
''Tiring? No...'' He replies in a whisper, voice rough for a moment as he thinks about it. ''No, mami, but it's hard.'' He matches your honesty, adjusting you so you're more comfortable as he carries you.
''I know you use me, but I still love you either way. It drives me crazy.'' He admits with a soft chuckle, a small smile on his lips despite the hurt in his eyes, showing you just how honest he's with you.
#miguel o'hara#miguel ohara#miguel spiderman#across the spiderverse#atsv miguel#miguel 2099#atsv#miguel x reader#miguel x fem!reader#miguel spiderverse#miguel x you#spiderman 2099#miguel o hara#spiderman atsv#miguel ohara x reader#miguel o'hara x reader#femme fatale#toxic love#toxic relationship#toxic people#female manipulator#angst#miguel atsv#atsv x reader#atsv x you#atsv x y/n
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payback’s a bitch.
don’t forget to dm me for commissions <3
summary: in which y/n birthday comes but is slightly ruined but still comes out great, y/n takes this as the chance to get payback on eren after last time.
warnings: a bit of dom y/n, slapping, fighting, choking, reverse cow girl, missionary, mature scenes over all, a bit of sub eren, dom eren, etc.
part 1
“y/n wake your thick ass up !!” yelling into you ear while giving you a slap to the ass eren got up so he could be able to change into an outfit so you guys can go head to your college. “I’m up nigga… damn.” waking you stretched your back while getting up to go do your daily routine. taking off your bonnet and unhooking the rollers in your to let down your now curled and layered jet black lace with blonde highlights.
slipping on your outfit for the day and getting your stuff to head out you headed towards eren who was waiting in his car for you. sliding into the passenger seat with a slight limp and putting your stuff down in front of you. “aww why are you limping sweet mama?” rubbing your cheek while saying so with a damn smile like he doesn’t know the reason.
“nigga- drive before you get beat up.” slapping his hand away from face while he laughed as he started the car and headed to the destination. upon arriving eren held hands with you. this gave you the time to take on his outfit which he was basically matching you but different shoes. “happy birthday mamaa” he whispered in your ear while handing you a Pandora bracelet with y’all initials on it. “thank you so muchhh !! it’s so pretty” slipping it on you hugged him while he gave you a kiss on the forhead. “anything for my favorite lady.”
“awww that’s so sweett~ is that pandora?? I could’ve sworn eren gave me the same thing for my birthday~” turning around while still hugging you turned around to see historia with her little groupies. eren sighed and rolled his eyes, all you did was size her up then looked up at eren “you better get that bitch before I do because I’m really trying to be holly jolly today, I really am.” letting him go you turned to look her way. “historia what is you fucking problem bro? you and these fucking lies.” eren stood in front of you just in case something happens so he can deescalate the situation. “eren why are you acting like this? you were just with me a couple days ago.” you knew she was lying because you with eren all week but she still had you fucked up.
“you know what” taking off your beanie and tying your hair up quickly, you moved around eren and punched that bitch right in the face. not giving her anytime to react you continued to land blows while getting on top of her. one of her friends tried to jump you to which eren pushed her out the way “uh uh ! y’all not finna jump shit cuz I’m ready to fight bout mine, who want it ?!” making sure no one jumped eren let you keep going till it was enough so he broke y’all up and held you back.
“what tf I’m bleeding !!” historia got up a bit shaky with her hair all over the place and blood on her face (bars). laughing at her because there was not a scratch or wrinkle on you, you still looked the same after you got out the car. grabbing erens hand and your stuff you continued your day like nothing happened.
——
“girl tell me why your ass is all over social media for beating historia ass” looking down at your friend ximora’s phone to see what she was talking about. “welp that’s what tf she gets cuz she tried me.” you were currently hanging with your best friend because eren wanted to get his house ready for your birthday before he takes you out.
heading towards your closet you changed into your going out outfit while letting your friend do your makeup for your birthday. she eventually gave you a gift which was a small heart necklace and flowers. you guys hugged then you got a message from eren telling you to come outside. walking slowly because of your heals you headed towards him as he took in your beauty. “damn mama you look.. gorgeous” walking to your side he kissed your cheek while opening his car door for you letting you get in as he closed the door to drive you guys to the restaurant.
—— (time skip past the restaurant that’s too much explaining.)
“thank you baby dinner was amazing and thank you for all the gifts.” taking off your makeup and outfit and switching into a pink laced thong and white crop top. “you’re welcome mama you know I’d anything for you.” getting up to hug you while giving you a rub on the ass. “eren..” “hm?” “I wanna fuck.” looking up at him while saying so all he did was smile and pick you up taking you to his bedroom while each others clothes off and kissing each other.
“spread them legs for me ma” he rasped out while rubbing your thighs, eren watched as you slowly opened your legs as far as you can while spreading your thick folds with your index and middle finger. “you nasty bitchhh” rubbing his thumb on your clit while watching you let out a pleasurable sight and grip onto his hand. “you want it mama?” he asked knowingly, grinding his dick against your cunt while leaning over you and kissing on your neck. “yess~ give it to me ‘ren” pressing a kiss on your lips and guiding his dick into you slowly he held onto your hands as he spoke sweet nothings and threw in some dirty words into your ear.
“oh shit~ right there rennn~” wrapping your hands around him you felt out of it. he was thrusting so deep and slow it felt like he was digging you out. “you like that? huh?~” eren groaned near your ear while rubbing and tugging onto your nipples adding more to your pleasure. “m-more, harder~ please eren~” sliding one of your hands onto his ass, gripping it while forcing him to make his hips go harder into you. “y/nnnn~ fuck you feel so good, this pussy is all mine~” rubbing your clit into rough circles eren watched as you went through your first orgasm of the night.
blink. blink. blink. blink.
turning to the side your look to see what was making those sounds and looking to see it was eren’s phone blowing tf up. “ignore it mama~” going down to suck on your nipples continuing with his strokes. you moaned loudly when he kept pounding into that one stop while gripping his hair.
blink. blink. blink. blink.
“bro fucking get your phone~” watching him pull out and groan he reached for his phone while laying down next to you to see who was blowing his phone up. covering your chest with your forearm you sat on his lap and took his phone when he was taking to long to check what was going on.
“you can’t be serious? eren why do you still have historia on social media.” scrolling through the messages she was sending to see what she was saying. she was saying things along the lines of ‘I miss you’ ‘come back to me’ ‘come fuck me’. “bro I don’t she just keeps making accounts and adding me to text me on some bull.” huffing irritatedly eren went to go sit up but you pushed him back down with your hand around his throat chocking him. “let’s send her a video.” looking at him after giving the suggestion your met with eren looking at you shocked “y/n- are you for real?”
eren was surprised you made such a suggestion because he’s asked before if he can record which you would turn down but you asking for it now as a way to spite historia made him even more horny. “you gone let me fuck you and send it to her?” rubbing the side of your thighs eren licked his lips while staring at you. “oh- no you’re not fucking me, I’m fucking you daddy.”
——
“y-y/nn~ fuck s-slow down~” eren was holding his phone while recording you riding him reverse cow girl, and you weren’t letting up ! you was snatching that niggas soul, he done cummed three times already but you were still going.
“nahh ain’t no slowing down~ remember the other day how you did me? paybacks a bitchhh~” taking his dick out and slapping it repeatedly onto your clit to give the camera a show, you went and switched positions facing eren and choked him while sliding back down and went back to fucking him ruthlessly while making eye contact. “ouu this dick is so good daddy~ should I keep fucking you~?” eren whimpered into you ear while gripping onto the sheets with his hand that wasn’t occupied. of course eren had the strength to flip you around and fuck the shit out of you, but the way you were laying that pussy on him had him paralyzed and overstimulated.
“fuckk~ mamaa~ my dick is sensitive pleasee~ give me a break o-okay~?” biting onto his lip after letting out a loud groan when you started grinding onto his lap and bringing one of your hands back to squeeze onto his balls. “you’re gonna continue taking this pussy baby, what’s my name?”
throwing his head back into the bed while shaking his legs from going through another orgasm. “m-mommy~” …
Video has been sent.
#eren jeager x reader#eren x black reader smut#eren yeager smut#eren yeager#eren jeager x black reader#eren jeager#attack on titan#aot au#attack on titan au#eren headcanons#eren smut#eren x black fem!reader#eren jester x black Fem reader#black reader#black femme#eren fanfiction#fanfic#fanction#aot smut#black writers#black y/n#black fiction#black fem reader#eren aot#aot headcanons#eren x black y/n
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Your favorite part of your day with Lottie is the morning
SUBMISSION: Hey again! I wanted to ask if you can please do a fluff where on the weekend adult Lottie wakes up with her girlfriend and they just cuddle and kiss each other softly? Like a perfect peaceful morning
There was something so wonderful about dawn when the sun rose above the trees and gleaned a beautiful orange hue into your bedroom. Lottie's hair was black, but it had a red hint to it that became very apparent in this sunlight. She was curled up in your lap as you gently scratched her naked back.
"Supposed to be hot today." You sang, running your fingers through her long hair.
"Mmm." She murmured. "I don't want to get out of bed at all today."
"Who said we have to?" You shrugged, taking a sip of your energy drink that you had previously gotten for yourself.
Your lover smiled up at you with sleepy eyes. She turned around so that she could give you a soft kiss on the lips. "What should we do all day, then?"
"I have some ideas." You joked.
She laughed, burying her face into your tummy. She sighed. "You know, those things are horrible for you."
You rolled your eyes. "Let me live, woman."
"I'm trying! You're the one chugging battery acid every day." She joked.
"Can't I have even one vice? I could be a smoker, you know."
"Oh, no. You absolutely could not be." This time her tone was serious. "There would be some real repercussions for that."
You smirked. "Maybe I should become a smoker then."
She slapped you. "Hey."
You laughed, squeezing her tight and giving her a big kiss. "I'm just messing with you, baby."
"Instead of increasing my blood pressure, would you mind just being a sweetheart?" Lottie gave you a look.
"Anything for you."
#yellowjackets#lottie matthews#fluff#sweet#fanfic#oneshot#drabble#submission#open for submissions#femme!reader#gay
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Bloody hell, Princess
Sorry that this took so long I kinda got nearly kidnapped so I've been talking w cops and stuff :3 but errthings okay yall!
Content: Soap x fem!reader, period sex, creampie, smut, a little weird, pussy blood, fluff, aftercare :3♡
No proof read or word count cause I'm writing this on my phone in bed
"C'mon baby, gimme a reason, eh?" Johnny says while wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing his way down to the nape of your neck. His lower body is wrapped in a towel, and his overgrown hair is still dripping from his shower. "I'm on my period, is that reason enough?" Your snap back at him isn't aggressive, just a little playful as you place your hands ontop of his and brush your thumbs against his knuckles.
"Ohh..so does it hurt ya?" He tilts his head to look at you better and to kiss at your cheek. "Well- no but I don't wanna bleed on you.." Your answer earns a chuckle from his throat as he pulls your body to a tight fit against his own. "Good men aren't a little scared of some blood.."
You turn to face him and give his lips a quick kiss. Wrapping your arms around his neck, as you do so he runs his hands down to your thighs "Soo..Is that a yes...?" His question makes you sigh in defeat and start kissing small pecks all around his face and going down his neck. "Promise me you don't mind..?"
"Promise.." Johnny picks you up to his waist with ease. You instinctively wrap your legs around him and lock your fingers behind his neck and curling into his hair. Even before you can fully balance yourself against him, his lips crash into yours in a deep kiss. It's messy and sloppy while he navigates his way from the kitchen to the bedroom and lies you down. Stopping the kiss before he takes the towel off from his waist. "Hips up, baby.." You oblige and slightly thrust your hips off of the bed so he can slip the towel underneath your body.
He starts gently lifting up your shirt in ask for permission to undress you. After giving him a reassuring nod, his hands travel up your body removing your shirt, and in turn on the way down your back clipping your bra off in a smooth motion. You reach over your head to turn the lights off but his hand snatches yours and presses it against the bed. Your eyes move from the switch on the wall to look up at him confused. His hand leaves yours to slip your bra off and tossing it somewhere on the floor. "Wanna see ya when I fuck ya.." his voice is low and needy when he says it.
You're a little taken aback, and a blush creeps at your cheeks when he pulls the rest of your clothes off. Your legs immediately try to close and hide the bloody mess between them, but his rough hands grasp at your thighs and push them open. You cover your face in embarrassment when Johnny's hand makes it's way down to your pussy, running a thumb over your sensitive clit a couple times and making your body flinch at the small pressure.
"Jus' tell me to stop whenever 'kay?" He leans down to place a kiss on your belly before sitting up straight and taking your legs around his waist. You give him a nod, and you cross your legs behind his back for support. It didn't take much for him to get his cock inside of you, the blood and all your slick hidden under it working as a messy lubricant. He leans his torso on his forearms beside your head, and a shuddering groan escapes his lips against your ear.
You wrap your arms around his neck and run your fingers through his hair, nails dragging against his scalp. Johnny presses his forehead against your chest as he starts thrusting into you, each slow stroke dragging a small gasp or moan from you. He keeps a close eye on your reactions and slowly starts building up his thrusts, one of his hands leaving the mattress to squeeze your hip and hold you in place. Your head falls back, hands gripping on the back of Johnny's head. He places gentle kisses on your neck and down to your breasts, pressing your hips down against the bed as he starts fucking into you faster.
Your hands fall down his neck and grip onto the muscle of his back. Your nails dig into his skin, making him groan into your chest. His movements start slowly getting rougher, and it seems like he's trying to fuck the deepest part in you possible. Rutting into your pussy with gross squelching noises from the blood smearing onto his lower abdomen when his body slams against yours. Your eyes go a little blurry, your body begging for release and your bloodied cunt clenching around his cock. Johnny grips onto the flesh on your hip, palm digging against the dip in your side. He starts thrusting harder, shalower thrusts into you, his tip bullying your cervix. Feeling a warm build-up in your belly as you approach your orgasm.
"FucK!" You scream, your voice breaking from a nasty hit against the spongy hole at the back of your pussy. Your nails dig deeper into the skin on his back, making him hiss out as you drag your nails down to his lower back.
"Gon' cum for me doll?" He asks slightly out of breath, you give him a small nod and a whine as an answer. Your legs tighten around his body, arching your back off the bed, and the tight and warm knot in your stomach snaps as your orgasm washes over you. Throwing your head against the pillows with a loud and animalistic moan being dragged from your vocal chords. "Fuck..there ya go.." He whispers, giving a couple more rough thrusts to you before burying himself deep into your pussy and gripping the sheets next to your head as he cums inside of you.
Panting and placing small kisses on your chest as you both come down from your high, he slowly pulls out of you. Your body relaxes, falling completely flat against the bed and you can feel the red and white mix of blood and cum seeping out of you. Turning your face to the side trying to escape feeling embarrassed, you glance down at the mess between you two and groan before whining out complaints. Johnny chuckles, planting a kiss on the top of your head before using the towel to gently clean you up, wiping off the awkward spills of blood from your pussy lips. You feel his weight shift a little on the bed when he gets off of you, standing up. Turning your head to look at him for questioning right as he picks you up bridal style to his arms. "Let's take a shower, eh lassie?" You nod and lean your heavy head against his shoulder.
The shower is nice and relaxing, your arms wrapped around Johnny and head pressed into his chest as the water slowly cleans up the half dried spots of blood from your skin. Johnny is keeping you up against himself, arms wrapped tightly around your waist as his fingers work on the muscles on your lower back, massaging your aching period pains away.
"Ya feelin' alright lass?" He questions softly, kissing your shoulder up your neck and leaving a last kiss on your jaw. You give him a nod and a quiet affirmative hum and he smiles, rubbing your back.
"Atta girl.."
°•○°•○°•○°•○°•○°•○°•○°•○°•○°•○°•○°○°•○°•○
Yaurr! I'm sorry this took so long, as you probably read from the top I've been in n out of the police station giving statements 😭😭 I hope this is alright even tho it ain't proof read, love yall
Xoxo
#cod#call of duty#call of duty x reader#female writers#call of duty x you#soap cod#john soap mactavish#soap x reader#cod soap#soap mactavish#call of duty smut#cod smut#smut#soap smut#johnny mactavish#female reader#femme reader
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Lament of My Heart | Joel Miller
SUMMARY: “Tommy…” Joel let out a breath of frustrated laughter. He disappointingly shook his head, leaning over you, “That boy doesn’t know what he’s lost.”
Set pre-episode four & post-episode five w/ moments of pre-outbreak
PAIRING: Joel Miller x femme!reader
WORD COUNT: 5.1K
WARNINGS: SMUT (hand job), mentions of blood, mutual pining/slow burnish, skinny dipping (of sorts), canon-typical things, mentions of Tommy x reader, etc.
A/N: Need to post this before it sits in the drafts to collect dust. Joel is just on my mind all the time, so this is the product of that. Thank you as always @from-the-clouds for listening to my blabbering and entertaining all my ideas! Much love.
“No more questions, Ellie,” You reprimanded her lightly, trying to cover the warmth she was discovering you felt. “Get some rest.”
Ellie was a hard-headed person with the responsibility of society on her shoulders. She carried the weight well, but she was still human, still young. But her questions revealed her growing creativity and sharp wit.
“Not tired.” She hated Joel’s coffee, but the stolen sips still coursed through her veins. You knew it was partly due to the anxiety ahead of them. They all felt it, that tense air of the unknown. “You two don’t seem to get along, though.”
Your eyes flashed to the rear view mirror on instinct. Settled on the truck’s dirty cushions and the supplies being used as a pillow, Joel was asleep. But you weren’t sure how long it would last.
“Ellie-
“It wasn’t a question!” She defended quickly, toying with the edge of her sleeve. She’d been dying to know just exactly why you got under Joel’s skin the way you did. “Tell me about Tommy, at least.”
“Ask Joel.” Your eyes were everywhere. You checked the mirror as if there was traffic, but it was the only thing that kept you occupied. She was making you squirm.
“C’mon, you know he won’t-” Ellie’s own frustrations were building up. In her shoes, you’d be just as curious. “Please.”
Through a thoughtful sigh, you resigned, “Before-We just- We’ve known each other for a long time.” You’d been intertwined with the Miller brothers since before everything. You rarely said it aloud, and now, you struggled to put all the history into something coherent. “I met Tommy when he returned from deployment-
“In Texas?” Ellie hung onto every word, mind spinning tales faster than you could keep up with. “Were you in the military too?”
“I said no questions.”
The comment made her smile. Ellie always appreciated a good game. Loopholes were her specialty.
“Fine, then.” She settled in the passenger seat, knees to her chest as she faced you, “You were discharged with Tommy with more medals than you could count!” Her posture then changed with inventive excitement, “Or maybe a bad-ass sniper with too many confirmed kills to count.” You wished your life was as exciting as she made it sound. “You’re going to have to stop me before I start thinking you led an elite hit squad.”
“Close.” You quipped, “I worked on the military base in town.” It was the first job that hired you and offered some stability for someone your age. “I’d help get soldiers back on their feet once they returned…”
“Then you became friends with Tommy,” Ellie encouraged you to continue. She couldn’t stand the lulls.
Too many years passed for you to remember clearly how you became close to Tommy, but at the time, he considered you his soulmate. Not that either of you really knew what that meant.
“Then I became friends with Tommy.” You nodded. You kept your eyes steady ahead, adding, “Joel, too.” Glancing at Ellie, you finished, “Then we all just…stuck together.”
Separation wasn’t ever questioned, even on the eve of all the destruction. That memory was vivid; the way your bloodied body held onto Joel, dragging him away from it all, Tommy trailing behind, surveilling every move. It was how you moved together for years, protecting each other as much as possible.
“He doesn’t talk about it; before,” Ellie commented lowly. You knew she wished for more from Joel. But she couldn’t see what you saw in the way he softened for her.
“That hasn’t changed with time.” Your words felt too bitter. This time you indulged in a glance at Joel. Still settled. “I’m surprised he’s even talking to me now.”
You always described the Miller brothers as a whirlwind. They may not have necessarily meant it, but they had a knack for sweeping you up and consuming you. When Joel came to you with Ellie, there was no question of whether you would help or not, just when and where you were needed.
He’d never leave without you.
“Tell me something about them...” Ellie pleaded. She was a clever girl who picked up on the weight of his misery. But it wasn’t yours to share. “Before they…before this.”
Your shoulders relaxed while your hands moved to the bottom of the steering wheel as you allowed yourself to filter through only the fond memories.
“Alright, well…” You hesitated with your words. Only because you knew, Joel would tell the story differently. “He and Tommy were wasted…I mean…Absolutely hammered that night.”
Your words had their desired effect, and Ellie’s giggles encouraged you to continue. But it felt strange to make Joel’s drinking habits sound so lighthearted when you know how the habit haunted him now.
“Tommy called me.” The phone in Joel’s kitchen woke you up that night well past the witching hour. “The brothers always got into all kinds of mischief, usually Tommy's fault.” You were typically by his side, provoking him. “Always Tommy’s fault.”
“He sounds fun.” Ellie joined in. You knew in another world, the two would get up to all kinds of mischief if they had the chance.
“He can be, when he wants.” You glanced at the map on your lap. With the sun getting low, it meant you needed to find a safe place to stop soon. “That night, though, the two of them had the bright idea to pretend to be bouncers, only to get into a fight with the actual ones.”
“I knew Joel wasn’t a total hard-ass.”
As you continued to retell the story, you hadn’t realized how much nostalgia you carried with you. Nor were you able to see how you talked so warmly of Joel. Ellie knew exactly what to say to get the information she wanted. But you waited a long time to reminisce freely.
“...When I finally got them home,” You blew a raspberry at the unforgettable effort it took. The stench of alcohol and smoke still made your nose scrunch. “Thank god Tommy had enough sense left to make it to the couch.”
Ellie loved how you teased Joel’s hiccuping that he blamed it on being over-served tequila. It was hard even to imagine he had any of that humor left in him. You embellished the story just enough to entertain yourself. But the story's core provided fertile ground for understanding that nothing you added was too far-fetched.
“They remembered nothing the next morning,” You said. “Tommy found all these numbers written on his arm, said he���d close his eyes and pick which to call.”
“....And Joel, he must have been so hungover…”
“You’d think…” You reflected flatly. “He just got up and went to work.”
From your side, you knew Ellie could sense you holding back. She’d gotten more than she asked for, so she left it. She could see how the echo of that night still felt fresh, doubting you provided her with the detailed ending you lived.
----
“You alright?” The question was slowly processed by Joel, who was trying to steady his breathing before the contents of his stomach came up.
“Yeah, yeah…” Joel held onto you every step, arm slung over your shoulders, making you sway with him with each step to his room.
He was mumbling while you settled him on the edge of his bed. You got every few words while focusing on preparing him for the next day. The brothers had work, and doing this would save you the headache of hearing their complaints.
“B-been thinkin’...” His Texan drawl was heightened as he slurred.
“That so?” You half-heartedly replied, rummaging through his medicine cabinet. You looked for something for the morning.
“Mhmm…”
You could hear him shuffling around in his room. Assuming he’d been pulling his boots off and discarding his jacket, you were surprised to find him leaning on the bathroom’s door frame.
“Then you’ve been hanging around Tommy too much.”
“Tommy…” Joel let out a breath of frustrated laughter. He disappointingly shook his head, leaning over you, “That boy doesn’t know what he’s lost.”
You still held love for Tommy, but you had mistaken it for something that it wasn’t. The two of you functioned better as friends; you were his confidant and partner in crime. Neither of you would change that for the world.
“And you do?”
Your relationship with Joel had a natural ebb and flow that could be but never got to the point of being volatile. But that didn't stop you from stepping on each other's toes, constantly being on the brink of an argument that neither of you knew the point of.
“Darlin’...” You melted his resolve, helping him the way you were. Joel’s eyes flickered down. Nothing about your outfit was seductive, but the way his eyes loitered told you maybe it had been. Covering his tracks seamlessly, Joel continued, “...The things you deserve.”
Your laugh bounced off the bathroom walls, resonating deep within Joel’s chest.
"What?" Joel asked lightly, his smile starting to mirror yours, but not understanding why, "Why are you looking at me like that?"
“Shit, Joel,” Your laughter lingered, “You must be really drunk.”
“C’mon now.” He tried to stop you. He wasn’t sure he could handle any level of ridicule from you.
But you pushed passed him, drawing his sheets back for the night to be over, “Let’s just get you to bed.”
He stumbled to you willingly, but you could see his mind turning. There was something he wanted off his chest, but you knew you weren’t ready to hear it.
“Come on now, Miller,” You tried again. “We’ve both got work in the morning.”
“What is it you do again?” Joel’s words played with chords of tension. “Besides eat all my food and sleep on my couch.”
"Get by." You joked more for your sake than his.
Joel’s eyes shifted between your own, pupils entirely dilated. Blaming it on the alcohol helped settle your stomach.
“I know y-you don’t stick around for my benefit.”
"God forbid we enjoy each other's company, Joel." Your eyes burned into his. You enjoyed your ability to make him bashful in his stupor. Just a look, and he was crumbling.
You saw it coming. You could have stopped it, but it wasn’t even the length of a decent kiss. It was soft and fleeting because you pulled back to never speak of it again. You doubted Joel remembered, but you could never be sure what he’d admit to.
----
“Did you ever-
“Ellie…” You said her name slowly in warning.
She retracted fast, “Joel and you-
“No.”
Your answer came off harshly. You knew where she wanted to go; she’d circled the topic for hours.
“Can I ask one question?”
“That was a question.” You looked at her again pointedly, “Shoot.”
“Why’d you stay in Boston?”
Sitting with the statement, you focused on the road. Most around you was barren and destroyed but offered an unconventional peacefulness. Sometimes you imagined if you’d be better off in isolation than in a QZ. But you could never bring yourself to just disappear like that.
“As hard as you might try,” You started, pulling the car to the side, “You can’t be alone in this world. With a purpose or not, it just doesn’t work.”
The sudden sway of the car disturbed the sleeping figure in the back. Joel attempted to hide his jolt as he sat up but was already looking out the window for trouble.
“We stoppin’?” Joel’s voice filled the car while the engine cooled.
Joel looked to you for reassurance. Ellie pointed that out to you, the way he valued you despite his resentment.
“We’ve gotten far enough today.” You tossed the keys back to him. “We need food and rest.”
“Alright.”
Your exchanges were clipped.
Yet, you valued the journey with Ellie. Selfishly, the task provided a reason to see Joel again. It had become easier to spend time apart. It became a habit. But even with a quiet meal shared and conversations led by Ellie, it felt good to be with him again.
The pressure shifted. No longer were ration cards on your mind, nor were the curfews you struggled to follow. Something about the night felt freeing despite the heavy responsibility that it meant. Maybe it was the privilege of feeling safe with Joel since he created a protective bubble, sacrificing his rest for yours.
You heard Joel get up when he thought yours and Ellie’s breathing steadied. You were going to leave it, but sleep was hard to come by with your mind racing.
Joel saw your shadow first. But the hand that brushed between his shoulder blades still made him flinch. He spoke in hushed tones, looking to ensure that Ellie was still asleep, “I hope you didn’t come over here to tell me we’re safe.”
“Didn’t say that.” You frowned. He knew you well; you wore your concerns on your face. You just wished he didn’t hold such defiance for them. “But we’ll be alright for the night-
“Don’t.”
Joel wanted to be in control of everything down to the smallest detail.
You knew it was a way of coping, his way, but it never sat right with you. Especially now, as you watched Joel scrutinize the area you chose, you could feel the criticism he was holding back from the moment you parked the car.
Did you even survey the terrain?
Too much open space. No clear route out.
You know better than this.
“We’re the perfect targets.”
“Joel-
“We know how this works,” He voiced over you. Even with you there, his surveillance didn’t change as he remained on a swivel. “It was exactly what we did.”
Joel’s emotions were catching up, but he still held onto a forced restraint. He was expecting resistance, an argument from you. But you heard what he said, how Ellie needed to hear it, to believe him.
No one’s gonna find us.
It was a promise. Something Joel was determined to control.
The wind was picking up the later the night became, and any rustle was faced with a gun barrel. It caused chills to litter your arms out of apprehension. You tried to comfort yourself with your arms tucked to your chest, but it only shifted Joel’s attention.
If you tried hard enough, you could guess what he would say to you. We need to stay sharp. You could feel Joel’s hesitation, though. It happened every time he pushed you away.
There was merit to your diversion, but Joel only allowed it for so long.
“Get some rest.” He nodded toward his forgotten sleeping bag, “No good if both of us are tired.”
----
The car was gone. The brief companions too. Your heart felt permanently caught in your throat. Adrenaline replaced everything. But it was wearing you thin.
“Where are you going?” Respite clung to Joel’s question as his eyes followed your figure up from his crouched position.
Like a cat, you stretched until something deep within your spine popped. You moved towards the shore of the small body of water you all settled by.
Time was at the forefront of Joel’s mind. Time was no longer on your side, meaning the sooner, the better pressured every minute. Daylight became the most valuable thing. And by the looks of it, you were on your way to wasting it.
“We smell, Joel.” You state as you discard the knife strapped around your waist. You were meant to be cleaning them in the water, preparing them for the next fight the way he had.
But your body was sore. You could imagine the pain Joel felt was much worse, physical or not. He put his body first rather than having you or Ellie be the brunt of it all.
Mornings were sacred to you. It was when the birds sang at dawn because the crisp, moist air carried their songs and their meanings farther through the same air that filled your lungs in fluid refreshment.
You pulled your shirt over your head and looped your thumbs in the waistband of your pants as you wiggled them over your thighs and down your legs.
For the moment, Joel’s eyes lingered. He looked for bites. He knew he wouldn’t find anything, but he had to be sure. Instead, Joel found deep hues of bruises still healing from Kansas City.
Almost wholly above the horizon, the sun highlighted the mist rising off the body of water. It veiled your body the closer you were to where the water and the rocks met. Yet, Joel watched on until your arms maneuvered behind your back, searching for the clasp of your bra.
As if the sun was directly in his eyes, Joel looked up, avoiding seeing something that wasn’t meant for him. Except, it didn’t stop him from passing along a warning, “Don’t go out far.”
The dirt from the past days felt like a second layer of skin had embedded into your own, suffocating you. You finally waded into the freezing water to rid yourself of it.
But not before throwing a comment over your shoulder, “Join me, then.”
Your words were like an idle threat that was only met with silence. You knew he was contemplating the offer. Always thinking.
The water was cold, goosebumps littering your skin within minutes and creating peaks where Joel refused to look. He scolded himself for the way his cock twitched at just the idea.
You leaned back so you were nearly floating on your back. Above, a bird glided hypnotically in a wide circle. It seemed you weren’t the only one seeking to rid yourself of a sense of weariness. The cool water swallowed you whole, caressing your skin and relaxing your muscles.
“Someone’s gotta stay with Ellie.” Joel voiced his decision. It was an excuse, what he was supposed to say.
There was no point in fighting it. Instead, you submerged yourself completely; the water consumed you. The longer you stayed under, the closer Joel edged to the water, ensuring you’d come up for a breath.
When you finally reemerged, you held a wicked grin.
“Don’t do that.” Joel frowned at your teasing. His eyes remained downcast, avoiding your eye. The rocks seemed more fascinating than how you became more siren-like by the minute. “I’m gonna find Ellie.”
“She deserves some privacy.” Despite her continuous puns, you were receptive to the fact that she was still impacted.
You all were.
Hyper vigilance became the enemy that threatened to consume Joel whole. Sleep was no longer negotiable. Every movement dragged worry, invited agitation, and controlled his violence. Joel’s chest was tight, and breathing felt hard to come by. He was moments away from unraveling.
“...There won’t be another invitation, Joel.”
Joel’s loaded gaze burned right through you as he took off his clothes. While he was busy shrugging out of his shirt, you took the opportunity to tread out further. Your back was to him, but you heard the swishing of disturbed water.
You reveled in the way your skin burned for him. He’d seen you naked years ago. But not like this, never like this.
----
Joel’s eyes followed the curve of your body. Your chest swayed as you moved around freely. His pounding heart clocked how too much time had passed for him to sneak out. He was frozen.
“You’re not Tommy.” You let out a breath of relief despite your surprise.
The lace rode high on your hips, accentuating your natural curve. Your chest was perked at the sudden attention of being caught so bare. Regardless of the incessant ringing in your ears, you stayed stone still, giving him a chance to say something.
Yet, he shook his head, backing out the door he’d come through, mumbling expected apologies. Joel used the key under the fern and let himself in.
For days he’d been asking Tommy for his tools back. And now, they were forgotten with each hurried step.
You threw on the closest shirt, chasing after him. “Wait!”
“I didn’t mean to-
“Joel, let me explain-
“No, I shouldn’t have-I-I’ll just-”
You found a way to stand before him, blocking his escape route perfectly. “Let’s just slow down…” Your hands were up in defense, mirroring his own. “It’s not what you think.”
Of all people, you wanted Joel to hear you. But the silence was heavy and lacked a proper explanation. You could see the flush that took over his coloring. It was sweet in a way, but you were too mortified to know what to make of it. It wasn’t exactly taught how to handle these sorts of things in school, so you stalled.
“Can I make you some coffee?” An invitation to linger.
Joel looked at you and saw your bare feet moving toward him with hope. He hadn’t meant to, but his eyes scanned your bare legs; the picture of the intricate fabric underneath the oversized shirt made his skin prick. It took him a moment to realize the shirt was his, one Tommy most likely nicked under his nose.
Doubting you knew what that did to him, Joel shook his head, “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”
“One cup.” You promised.
The air was tense when you made it to the kitchen. You insisted on a fresh pot, but the drops felt like they took ages to fill it enough for its purpose. The hem of the shirt skirted the boundary of indecency, but you thought nothing of it. Your focus was on the longing stare Joel was giving you.
“Tommy and I…” You started with a shaky breath. You were sure Joel knew all about the drifting relationship. “I thought maybe this would…” It felt strange explaining yourself the way you had. But you wanted it to be known that even to you, it felt out of character. “He doesn’t look at me the same anymore…”
Your words feigned a sense of yearning. But neither you nor Tommy could keep up the act. Your words seemed heavy, but it was so alleviating to say aloud. To be listened to.
But the smell of coffee pulled you back, reminding you to be a good host. Filling the mugs just below the brim, you broke the small barrier of the kitchen island. You held the mug close to your chest, the warmth working as emotional support while Joel toyed with the ceramic handle.
You lifted the mug to your lips, blowing lightly over the piping-hot coffee, “...But neither do I.”
“I can talk to Tommy if you…” No matter how much it made Joel regret the offer, Joel said the right thing. He couldn’t meddle where he didn’t belong. “I’m sure he’d understand.”
You laughed into your mug. “I’d rather this stay our thing.”
“You say that like this is going to happen again.”
“Joel Miller.” You said his name after a pause. He looked like a child in trouble. “Are you flirting with me?”
“No, no, I-
“Joking.” You cut in just as awkwardly as he flushed.
You wanted the mood to lighten, needed it to.
But there was clumsiness in every movement, between your ongoing jitteriness and Joel’s restless fidgeting. So, you moved to the window. On the sill held your half-empty carton of cigarettes, the ones you were trying hard not to touch these days.
With a soft glance back to Joel, you asked, “Mind if I?”
Joel could spot the influences of Tommy in you. Or maybe you had passed along your habits. Either way, it was your home of sorts. Who was he to tell you no?
You had such dexterity with the process. It was like a ritual how you rolled the cigarette over your lips before lighting it. Then after a deep exhale, you utilized the perpetually open window to tap the beginnings of ash.
“I don’t mean to drag you into all of this…” You trailed off through an exhale of smoke through your nose. Joel could see the appeal now. “I just don’t-…Tommy’s my friend, and if I…I don’t know what’ll happen if we’re not…”
The end of something always hurt everyone around you. You all were just playing your roles in delaying the inescapable. But the questions of the future haunted you. You weren’t sure if you were ready to let it all go.
“I’ll let you leave…” You toyed with the lit cigarette that was on its last limb as you spoke. Joel’s silence was becoming deafening. “Promise I won’t hold you up any longer.”
You were sure he had more pressing matters than to comfort you through an inevitable breakup.
“Tommy’ll get over it.” Joel sat back with more relaxation now that he spoke his mind. “It’s you I’m worried about.”
----
Joel kept his distance deliberately. He made the venture into the water seem like another task. In and out.
“I don’t bite, you know.”
He knew you wouldn’t be able to stay quiet for too long. He knew what it meant to join you, but he made an effort to seem detached.
“Just giving you some privacy.” Joel echoed your words.
“Right.” Your frustration was clear. You carried it with you for the handful of days that passed. Your frustrations didn’t lie with him like Joel chose to believe.
Instead, guilt filled Joel’s chest. It had been gnawing at him since he left Boston. He should have left you there if he were as reliable as everyone claimed he was. You’d be without bruises. You’d be without his burden. Leaving without you meant there would be no return.
But you knew Joel. You had to remind yourself. You knew what he was thinking, what he wanted. That’s how you knew moving towards him would benefit the both of you.
You moved gradually, leading the interaction by brushing his hair behind his ears. The greys of his hair darkened with the water you carried on your fingertips. He looked younger. He looked like your Joel.
You reached for him, pulling him through the cool water to you. Joel was stiff when your chest met his warmly. He thought of pulling away, but you felt so peaceful that it swallowed him. Your arms wrapped around him with comfort. Your body settled in front of his, gently pressing your hips against him, giving him only an ounce of pressure to entice him.
He noted every twitch. Shyness wasn’t questioned; that barrier was broken years ago. It enabled you to trace his face. Every detail was already committed to memory.
You imagined what he’d say to you all those years ago—anything to make a smile crack.
Careful, now.
All you’re gonna find is a whole lot of ugly.
The scar above his eyebrow marked when your feelings for Joel first latched on. You were blinded by anger then, but the blood scared you. He promised you it was a graze and that he still had his life. But that wasn’t enough proof for you.
When your thumb traced over the faint line, Joel finally found his voice again, “Your shooting’s still sloppy.”
The look Joel held was intimidating, scrutinizing, but you knew he was trying to be witty.
“See now, when you say things like that…” You whispered softly due to the proximity, “I don’t regret shooting you.”
He hummed, appreciating your touch that ventured to his shoulders. You could feel under your hands the tension he held. You wanted nothing more than to provide relief.
“Joel.”
Just his name made your desire clear. He wanted to touch you all those years ago, but he’d never betray his brother like that. But now you invited him to you without any barriers. There was hesitancy in the hold Joel found on your hips. His mind wandered; wavered between the need and the want.
Starting at the swirl of hair on his chest, you followed the trail down until Joel’s breath hitched. Joel felt like he was about to lose it when your hand wrapped around him.
“This feel okay?” You moved your hand against him, slow and soft.
Water dripped from his nose to your shoulder as he nodded eagerly. His groan rumbled deep in his chest, vibrating against your own. You tread in dangerous territory but recognized the privilege of his trust.
This was for Joel. You needed this just as much as he did. You didn’t worry if it functioned as a thank you for keeping you alive, an apology for the trouble you’d caused him, or a confession of your own.
It didn’t matter when you indulged in your own lust.
“Do you think of me when you’re on your own?” You asked, fingers wrapped around his shaft, squeezing him until you felt his pulse in your grip.
“Oh- Fuck-” He cut himself off before he let a pet name slip. Joel’s fingers dug into the soft flesh of your hips, imprinting his touch into your skin, burned to your very bone.
“Hmm?” You edged him further. Gently, you continued to pump him and move your thumb over his tip.
Joel’s ragged breath fell on your pulse point with each moan as you continued to pump him rhythmically. His hand came up to your throat in a tender hold. His lips hover over yours but refrained from connecting.
It would be too intimate if you had.
“Do you want me to?” The hold gave him dominance even as he shuddered under your touch. Always desiring control.
The water around you rippled with your continued movements. With his free hand, his thumb rubbed gently at the sensitive skin that was near the pebbles of your breast, but he made no effort to touch it just yet. His words and touch were a deadly combination, the kind that made you ache.
“Would that be so bad?” You spoke on his lips, feeling the tickle of his mustache. The more you worked on his release the more you felt his warm pants turn into deep moans. “Come on now, Miller,” You coaxed softly, moving up and down his length with a lively pattern, teasingly and tauntingly. “Tell me.”
Joel’s words were caught in his throat as ecstasy flowed through his veins as the pleasure crashed. His hips jerked against you as his breathing became ragged and his moans became filthy.
He sighed with relief, abandoning himself. He groaned into you, nuzzling his nose in your neck as the aftershocks made him tremble. He could feel your hand threading in his hair, keeping him in your tight embrace.
“Yes.”
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softbutch!julien x highfemme!reader hcs ♡
cw : sfw, afabfem!reader, petnames, butchfemme dynamics, disustingly cute fluff, musician!reader, curly hair!reader, pre-relationship and established relationship :) heavily inspired by this fic, go read it!
a/n : i realize this isn't for everyone, i love all my gnc / non-femme babies! if this dynamic doesn't apply to you, go ahead and skip! this is very self-indulgent and i didn't really think i'd every publish this, but you guys requested it in my poll! for all my butches and femmes, ily ♡
✧ from the moment julien's eyes locked with yours, she knew she had to meet you
˖ the day you two met was around four years ago. you were a small, nashville-born artist performing with your band in a local lesbian bar. the crowd wasn't huge, and the pay wasn't great, but you loved performing to people that shared that same connection with you. the feeling of growing up different and the alienation that came with it
˖ you were on the small stage in the back of the bar, singing your heart out to the small crowd. the people around were dancing and drinking, enjoying one of the only places they felt comfortable in. julien was amongst them, but she was alone. she had come to this small bar to get inspiration for her new album. she thanked the heavens above that she made that decision. she got to see you for the first time. you were the prettiest thing she had ever seen. she knew she would kick herself for the rest of her life if she didn't talk to you after your performance
˖ the deep red dress you wore was lacy and frilly, matching the pattern of your stockings. your hair was tied half back with a bow the same shade of crimson. you bounced around on stage like you had trained your whole life for it. the flawlessness and perfection of the way you sung pulled julien in, becoming mesmerized by your siren-like voice
˖ your eyes full of excitement scanned across the room curiously, observing everyone with interest as you sung into the microphone. as soon as your eyes connected with julien's, you felt a jitter in your lungs. she stood on the side of the stage, a glass of water in hand, just silently observing you with curiosity. she was beautiful. utterly handsome. she wore a white button down tucked into a pair of baggy blue jeans, black oxfords on her feet, and simple jewelry scarcely scattered around her body. you quickly took your eyes off her and to a random point around the room, feeling your face heat up. julien smiled at the sight and immediately knew she had to know you
˖ after your band finished the small show, you all headed into the back room of the bar. you all stored away your instruments to pick up later, as you all decided to mingle about the crowd and stay for a while. you grabbed your purse, put on a fresh coat of lip gloss and made your way back to the front. you stayed close to your guitarist, daisy, at the bar, feeling a bit overwhelmed in the presence of all the people there. you ordered a simple cherry coke, not feeling like being hungover tomorrow when you had to go back to your day job
˖ soon enough, daisy left you alone to go talk to a woman that caught her eye. you took small sips of your drink as you sat at the bar, doe eyes gazing around you. in that moment, you saw the handsome woman from before. she was engaged in a simple conversation with one of the other bartenders farther down from you. she turned her head, and you locked eyes again. she seemed to have a conflicting look on her face before excusing herself from the bartender and making her way over to where you sat. your eyes widened as she walked over, not expecting her to actually come and talk to you
˖ julien strolled over and stood next to you, setting her glass of water down on the bar top. she had a small smile on her face, almost a smirk, as she looked up at you. “hi, sweetheart. can i sit?” you quickly nodded your head in confirmation. you turned your body to the side to face her as she sat, a shy smile on your face. she was even prettier up close. “i’m y/n! it’s nice to meet you,” you said gently. “i’m julien, nice to meet you too, sweetheart. your performance was wonderful,” she said softly, her confidence slowly deteriorating. she could hardly think when all she smelled was your vanilla perfume. “oh god, thank you! i’m glad someone was listening. usually, my band only plays small shows so it’s hard to get people engaged.” god, you were adorable. “of course. it would be hard not to listen, your voice is so beautiful. i’m in a band myself, actually.”
˖ thus began the meaningful conversation about music and your own bands. julien told you she was a part of boygenius. you revealed that you knew of the band’s ep released two years prior and loved the music. you even knew a couple of her solo songs and told her your favorites. this made julien smile brightly and the connection deepened
˖ eventually, your other bands members came up to you and said they were leaving after about 30 minutes of conversing with julien. you were disappointed but bid her goodbye. before you could make an exit, she grabbed your bicep gently to hold you back. "could i... get your number?" she asked with hope. you immediately nodded your head with an excited smile, typing your number in her phone, putting a little heart by your name. she grinned at your cuteness. just before you left, you pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. she touched the spot absentmindedly as she walked to her car, a red print of lips stuck to the apple of her cheek
✧ julien courting you
˖ your meeting at the bar was the first, but definitely not the last time you saw julien. the next day, she quickly texted you as she woke up. she wanted to text you as soon as you left her sight the night before but didn't want to seem too eager. she shot you a message to let you know it was her before asking how you slept, ever the gentleman. you two quickly got caught in another conversation, both smiling on separate ends of the phone. she asked all about your hobbies. she learned that you didn't just have an affinity for music, but also for art and history. she decided then and there that she had to take you to an art museum
˖ your text conversations went on like this for a few days. all you could do when chatting with her was lay on your stomach on your bed, kicking your feet and feeling your face heat up. you felt like a high schooler all over again. you constantly felt yourself biting the inside of your cheeks to stop the grin from spreading on your face every time a message from her popped up on the screen
˖ thus begun the start of your dates. julien followed through with taking you to an art museum, loving the way your face lit up with joy at all the paintings and sculptures. some frequent spots for the two of you were homey coffee shops (julien's favorite, obviously), magical gardens, taking hikes among beautiful trees, and just sitting and talking. it didn't matter what you two did, it just mattered that you were together
˖ julien adored the way you wrapped your arm around her bicep, when you let her drape her coat over your shoulders, the sweet kisses you pressed to her cheek. the smirk never fell from her face for hours after you did anything affectionate. you felt giddy every time she called you 'sweetheart' or 'pretty,' when she protectivly wrapped her arm around your waist in crowded spaces, or when brought you small gifts. she never came to get you empty handed. she always came to pick you up from your apartment complex, open the car door for you, and always had a gift waiting for you on the seat. some common ones were records you had talked about, flowers, books, or a new one of your favorite foods that changed every week. julien never missed the little things you said, always storing them into her memory for a later use
˖ you loved getting to know her. nights spent sitting on the roof of your apartment, gazing at the stars were your favorites. every little single thing about her was interesting to you, and vice versa. you loved hearing about the bands that inspired her to make music, her favorite tattoos, or funny stories from her childhood. she loved when you talked about your favorite stuffed animal you religiously slept with as a little girl, your ramblings about the pros and cons of lipgloss brands, or just how pretty the sky looked at a particular moment
˖ after about three weeks of seeing each other almost every day, she asked you to be her girlfriend. a little slow compared to most lesbian relationships, but julien wanted to find the perfect time to ask. she didn't wat this to be a whirlwind romance, she wanted seriousness and commitment. you were both willing to give it to each other. she took you to that art museum she remembered you saying you liked. you looked utterly gorgeous strolling around and gazing at all the paintings, curly hair tied with a bow swinging behind you. you two walked around for about an hour, her arm wrapped firmly around your waist. every time you commented about how pretty an art piece was, she'd reply with "not as pretty as you." it never failed to leave you more infatuated with her
˖ after the museum date, she took you to a beautiful park filled with the blooming flowers of spring. you gazed around in wonder, eyes taking in the pretty sight. julien sat you down on a park bench, turning to face you, clasping your hands into her own. you were a bit confused and the anxiety of her telling you she didn't want to see you anymore crept up. before you could voice your thoughts, she asked the question, "can i be your girlfriend?" you answered immediately with a loving kiss to her lips, which she took as a yes. after the moment of passion was over, she pulled out a small box from the pocket of her leather jacket. she handed it to you with a small, nervous smile on her face, telling you to open it. inside the red velvet box was a heart shaped necklace with the letter 'j' on it. she pulled up the sleeve of her jacket to reveal a matching bracelet, the heart having your initial on it instead
✧ when you’re dating, julien never stops falling in love with you, and you fall right with her
˖ even after you two get together, the dates never come to a stop. at least once a week, either you or julien plan something together. whether it be a cooking class, sitting in a field and sketching, or playing each other your new music
˖ after about two months of dating, she asks you to move in with her. lucy warned her it might be “too quick,” but julien wasn’t hearing any of it. she wanted to be around you all the time, completely infatuated. you weren’t much better. you joke that if she could crawl inside your skin and live there, she would. she doesn’t disagree, but she wasn’t going to tell you that
˖ now, as a butch, moving in is julien’s thing. she’s anxious and over-prepared when she shows up to your house the day of the move. she refused to hire moving men because she insisted she could “do everything a man could do and better.” she’s not wrong there, so you don’t protest. she disassembles all your furniture that you’re taking with you to her house with ease. she wasn’t lying when she said she was handy. and she refuses to even let you carry the lightest box, smirking and saying, “don’t want you to chip a nail.” you smack her on the back of the head and plop down on the ground, just watching her. you do sneak a couple boxes though…
˖ after you got all of your belongings loaded into the u-haul truck (ironic, i know), you set off to her house. during the whole drive, she rambled about where to put all the new furniture and how exciting it was going to be to live together. you just stared at her with loving eyes and a soft smile, nodding alone to whatever random thought popped in her head
˖ when you got to her apartment, she got all of your essential things in and decided she'd get the rest in the morning. while she did that, you rummaged through her cabinets to find something to cook for dinner. you picked a simple meal of spaghetti and meatballs. as she placed the last box down, you served the pasta at the dining table. she wiped the sweat from her face with the bottom of her shirt while you tried so hard to not stare at her abs, you failed. she gave you a cocky smile when she caught you but said nothing. you two sat and ate your first dinner in your shared apartment, basking in the glow of love
˖ the longer you two lived together, the more accustomed you guys got to a routine. you'd be the one to get up first in the morning, julien still snoring like a middle-aged dad, while you made breakfast. you'd gently shake her awake and lead her to the kitchen, tempting her with the aroma of coffee and bacon. she always swore you made coffee "better than dunkin,'" but you knew that was a lie. never get in the way of that woman and her dunkin' donuts. after breakfast, julien would go on a jog. while she did that, you read a favorite book of yours or plan out some new songs
˖ the list of pet names she called you lengthened every day. there was a rang of sweet ones, like baby, babe, princess, angel, sweetheart, honey, doll, etc. but she also called you ones you figured she pulled out of her ass, no idea where she even got the idea from. you knew they were all a joke and it made you laugh with disgust ever time. some are pookie (phoebe's idea, of course), snookums, the wife (your favorite), boss, the missus, sugar tits and punk. you have some for her too, but she defiantly wins in the pet name category
˖ dancing in the kitchen in the middle of the night, illuminated by the refrigerator light ♡♡♡ she puts on some records from the 50's and you slow dance until the sun comes up. she keeps a firm hand on your waist and yours on the shoulders, her twirling and dipping you just to hear you giggle in delight
˖ let me tell you, this woman cannot keep her hands off of you, especially when in public. she always has a hand on the small of your back, leading you through crowds. or her fingers interlaced with your while doing mundane things, like getting groceries or walking through the park. it intensifies even more when at your apartment. her hand acts like its glued to your thigh during movie nights or her hands around your waist, standing behind you while you're doing the dishes
˖ she loves loves lovesss watching you do your hair or makeup, even offering to help sometimes. you look so focused applying your mascara or gliding on lip gloss. she even lets you give her makeovers sometimes, but only with the premise of no pictures (you do sneak a few though). she especially loves doing your hair. she's as careful as possible, understanding your hair is hard to deal with and can be knotty at times. she knows by heart to "only brush it when it's wet!!!" she has straight hair, so she does extensive research on what products and techniques are best for your hair type. she adores putting little bows all over your curls
˖ overall, the relationship is healthy and so full of love. you and julien fit so well together, it's almost like you were crafted to be each other's soulmate
© bitethehnd ୨ ♡ ୧ let me know if you guys want more parts to this! i also wanna do highfemme!gf reader for all munagenius members so give me some ideasss
#bitethehnd#julien baker x reader#julien baker au#julien baker x you#julien baker fanfic#butch#femme4butch#femme#lesbian#wlw#sapphic#sapphism#butch4femme#boygenius x reader#julien baker headcanons#julien baker hcs#boygenius fanfic#butchfemme
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thinking about how mean you are, relishing in gojo satoru's tears the moment you tell him that you were in love with someone else.
satoru has always been just friends with you, always clinging to you the moment you met him during your high school years.
he always had his fair share of women throwing themselves at him, but you always knew that they would never match up to you.
you knew of his secret love for you, the yearning he has for you each night he strokes his cock at the thought of you. sometimes, when you would come uninvited to his apartment just for some much needed company you would purposely use his bathroom to take a shower while allowing your content moans to fill the air.
satoru was always so obvious about it, too, with you hearing how his body was pressed against the door, panting while letting out tiny whimpers of your name, the sound of his calloused hands stroking at his cock while picturing you naked and beneath the spray of water.
there was no greater feeling than having him wrapped around your fingers.
this had gone on for more than 10 years now, with you purposely leading satoru by the nose. just knowing such a powerful man could be brought to his knees by you alone was enough to bring you immense joy.
he was so adorable that you decided to reward him with a slice of his favorite strawberry shortcake bought from the local bakery. you tell him that you could buy it yourself without him needing to tag along, but satoru was relentless, already donning his hoodie before intertwining your fingertips with his.
he even manages to pay for the damn cake himself, never once allowing you to spend even a single yen of your money. you figured it was high time he got rewarded for such generosity and kindness-
right?
the walk back to your apartment was uneventful, with satoru still clinging on to your hand while holding the boxed cake. only when you were back in the privacy of your apartment did you decide to sink your claws once more into satoru's heart.
he had just gorged himself on two slices of cake when you tell him, "toru, i'm wondering what i should do, i'm in love with someone."
you close your eyes while letting out a mock sigh, hearing the way satoru lets go of his fork in an instant- the sound of metal meeting the porcelain plate.
"you're...in...love?"
if you could, you would start giggling profusely now.
oh satoru, if only you knew how much your broken heart satisfies me.
"his name is haruka, and he's so warm and kind." you continue telling satoru all while twirling your hair, "on a day it was raining, i forgot to bring my umbrella to work, and he graciously let me borrow his. he makes my heart feel so soft."
you swore you would never forget the look of absolute devastation in his eyes, making your perfectly painted lips tilt upwards in a smile. "ne, toru, do you think i should give him my number next time?"
a sharp inhale was heard from satoru, and you could see the way his brilliant, aquamarine eyes shone with unshed tears. he was looking anywhere but at you, biting down against his bottom lip with such a harsh intensity that it was close to drawing blood.
"i...i'm sure haruka would love to have your number."
just hearing how pathetic satoru sounded was enough to make you finally pounce. letting out a soft coo of his name, you allowed yourself to gracefully settle on top of his lap.
"aw, is my little toru sad that my heart belongs to someone else?" your tone was mocking, laced with a saccharine sweetness that you knew would make satoru melt for you.
"n-no, that's not...!" you cut him off suddenly when you kiss him, allowing your lipstick to stain his parted lips while swallowing his moans of your name. with a sigh, you purposely grind against his lap, feeling his cock beginning to stand at full attention for you.
"poor baby, i bet if i stuffed my face full of your cock, that would make you feel better, right?"
a weak sound of protest escapes from him, but it falls upon deaf ears the moment you get down on your knees for him. with a lick of your pretty lips, you yank the waistband of his pants down, gently freeing his cock from the confines of his boxers while stroking him into full hardness.
you had to admit that satoru had the prettiest cock you had ever seen, with veins pulsating as his pretty pink tip began to cry with droplets of precum. feeling your own cunt beginning to leak with need, you place his cock against your lips before taking him in as far as he could go.
"oh, fuck...!" satoru's hands immediately go into your hair, allowing you to bob your head back and forth as you began wetting his cock with your saliva. you moan at his taste, becoming addicted to it as you briefly wondered why it took you so long to do this to him.
a twitch was felt coming from his cock, and that was the moment you pull away from him, purposely staining your lipstick against the prominent veins of his pretty dick.
satoru was a babbling mess now, letting out whines of your names. "please, need more, need need need you so fucking badly, baby please-"
you merely hum in response, completely downplaying just how turned on you were by him when you casually step out of your skirt and panties. you reveal to satoru just how went your little cunnie had become before straddling him.
your hands take a hold of his aching cock, allowing the mushroom tip of it to trace at your pussy lips before sliding down on it. "oh, toru...! you feel so big, so good inside of me like this...!"
you place your hands on his shoulder, bouncing up and down his cock while satoru tosses his head back. you giggle at how he was fighting back his urge to cum, continuing to allow your juices to collect at the base of his cock the harder you began riding him.
delving your hands into his silver locks of hair, you press a kiss against the base of his throat. "shall i admit something that will make you happy?"
satoru doesn't respond to you, simply groaning while thrusting his hips upwards into you. with an annoyed click of your tongue, you slowly begin pulling out of him, your gummy walls purposely sliding upwards in a painfully slow movement-
"no fuck! don't leave me...! fuck, i'll do anything, i'll listen to whatever you have to say...!" satoru was practically gripping at your hips now, and you were certain that he was bound to bruise your skin.
"mmm, that's a good boy." you slowly slide back down on him before leaning forward to whisper in his ear, "i have always wanted you, satoru gojo. haruka may make my heart feel soft, but it truly burns for you alone."
your confession was enough to make something inside satoru snap, as he suddenly stands from his seated position while using his hands to swoop all the plates and half eaten cake to the floor. with a gasp, you felt your back landing against the table with a harsh thump!
"you're going to pay for that... for making me so damn jealous while fucking with me for all these years." his once cerulean eyes that were filled with clarity darkens with lust and love? for you. he spreads your legs as far as they can go before splitting your pussy open with his thick cock.
"never gonna let you go ever again." satoru moans while pounding himself into you, eyes turning wild when he lifts your leg to kiss at your ankle.
"never gonna let any other man touch or even look at you. fuck, you're all mine."
becoming drunk off of him, you knew that satoru would not cease fucking you until he had his absolute fill of you. you knew that it was your fault that he had become so insatiable for you,
but lucky for you, you didn't seem to mind one bit 💋
© teela
#thirsts 💋#give me more femme fatale readers please!#love being mean to gojo#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo smut#jjk smut#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x you
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WHERE IS SHE!!??!
Pairings: Wednesday Addams x Enid Sinclair x Female Reader
Warnings: 18+
It was a typical Wednesday evening at Nevermore Academy, and Wednesday Addams was feeling particularly stressed. She had just returned to her dorm room after a long day of classes, and the last thing she needed was to be worried about the whereabouts of her lover, Y/N a female reader.
As Wednesday sat at her desk, trying to focus on her book, she couldn't shake off the nagging feeling that something was off. It wasn't until she heard the sound of sobbing that she realized what it was - the absence of Y/N, who was nowhere to be found.
Panicked, Wednesday stood up from her desk and stormed out of the dorm room, determined to find Y/N. She found Enid, her other lover and a sensitive yet extroverted with a touch of adhd, on all fours in the hallway, crying uncontrollably. Enid had been just as worried as Wednesday, and the two of them immediately set off to find Y/N
After searching the campus and asking around, Wednesday and Enid were about to give up when they heard a faint voice calling out to them. Following the sound, they stumbled upon Y/N in the backyard, digging a plot of land and planting flowers.
Wednesday couldn't believe her eyes. Y/N had been missing for hours, and yet here she was, calmly tending to a garden. Enid, on the other hand, couldn't contain her relief and threw her arms around Y/N, sobbing with joy.
Wednesday, feeling a mix of anger and relief, approached Y/N and sternly advised her to never scare them like that again. Y/N apologized profusely, explaining that she had lost track of time while working on the garden. She had wanted to surprise Wednesday and Enid with a beautiful oasis along with She had planted nightshade-like flowers for Wednesday, who had always had a fascination with the macabre, and a variety of colorful flowers for Enid, who loved everything bright and beautiful she was planting just for Wednesday and Enid and she had gotten so caught up in her work that she hadn't realized how late it was.
Wednesday, still feeling a bit frustrated, couldn't stay angry at Y/N for long. She knew how passionate her lover was about her gardening, and she couldn't help but be touched by the gesture. She pulled Y/N into a hug and kissed her, telling her just how much she loved and appreciated her.
Enid, feeling overwhelmed with emotion, joined in the hug and kissed Y/N as well. The three of them stood there, holding each other tightly and basking in the warmth of their love.
As they made their way back to their dorm room, Wednesday and Enid couldn't help but feel grateful for Y/N and the love they shared. They may have been a unconventional trio, but they were also deeply connected and understanding of each other's needs and wants. And as they cuddled up in their warm dorm room, they knew that their love was strong enough to weather any storm.
The next day Wednesday Addams was feeling particularly amorous. She had just returned to her dorm room after a long day of classes, and the only thing on her mind was pleasing her lovers, Enid and Y/N.
As Wednesday locked the door behind her, she couldn't help but smile at the sight of Enid and Y/N waiting for her on the bed, their eyes filled with desire. Wednesday knew exactly what they wanted, and she was more than happy to oblige.
Slowly, Wednesday approached her lovers, her eyes locked on theirs. She could see the anticipation in their eyes, and it only served to heighten her own desire. Wednesday was a skilled lover, and she knew just how to please her partners.
As she kissed Enid deeply, her hands roamed over Y/N's body, exploring every inch of her skin. Wednesday was known for her intense passion and desire. And as she pleasured both Enid and Y/N simultaneously, they couldn't help but feel swept up in her sensual energy.
Wednesday's touch was electric, and as she moved between her lovers, she left them both breathless and wanting more. Enid and Y/N couldn't get enough of Wednesday, and they begged for more as she lavished them with kisses and caresses.
As the night wore on, Wednesday, Enid and Y/N lost themselves in each other, their love and desire growing stronger with every touch. They were a unconventional trio, but their love was deep and true, and they were grateful to have each other in their lives. And as they lay tangled in each other's arms, they knew that their love was something special, something that would last a lifetime.
#wenclair#wednesday addams x enid sinclair#wednesday addams smut#wednesday x enid x reader#wednesday x reader#jenna ortega x reader#wednesday addams x fem reader#wednesday addams x enid sinclair x femme reader#enid sinclair#enid sinclair x reader#enid sinclair x wednesday addams#lesbian#wenclair smut#wednesday addams memes#enfp#intj#infp#wednesday addams x reader#wednesday addams#wednesday netflix#wednesday x enid#enid x you#enid#enid x you x wednesday#addams and sinclair#intj 1w9#fandom#female reader
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Kitty Tsui. “Who says we don’t talk about sex?” The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader, edited by Joan Nestle, 1992, p. 385, 337.
Kitty, San Francisco. 1991. “Love my flattop. Love my leathers!” Photo credit: Richard Law. https://theoutwordsarchive.org/interview/tsui-kitty-2/.
#sana.ref#kitty tsui#joan nestle#The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader#the persistent desire#horizons lesbian conference#nice chinese girls don't#butch#leather#dyke#leather dyke#qpoc#lesbian
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VBS
Chapter 1:
“VBS” ~ Lucy Dacus
DONATIONS 🍉
DAILY CLICK 🇵🇸
rebel!ellie x fem!reader
a/n: this one’s more fluff and to every gay baby still in a church, thinking they don’t belong.
summary: you grew up religious without questions and in summer you would get send to vacation bible school. The camp always felt like prison to you, until a very interesting girl appeared.
c/w: smut in future chaps!!, religious trauma (obviously)
7/20/2007
Readers pov:
2:34 p.m
You're sure you've never been asked. Never. It was always natural that you believe and pray. For everyone, for your family, your church friends, the pastors. The doubts also started very early. At 6, if you remember correctly.
You felt so guilty back then that you prayed and read the Bible all night long. The fear that demons could possess you, as soon as God left you, made you almost manic. But you thought that it was meant to be, that this was the price you needed to pay for being a child of God. But it began to feel more like a curse than a gift.
Of course you never told anyone this, you weren't crazy after all, but the thoughts followed you everywhere. You were waiting to be saved by someone, by God or just a person. No one ever appeard.
Until you turned 18. Until it was the summer of 2007.
Everything still looks pretty much the same, the youth hostel that had 3 floors and looks worn out, the church made of wood that stands here all year round, the lake only a few meters away from the big fire place where you gather every evening. The sun was almost shining in your face and it feels like a warning.
You're 18 now and this will be your last year here, although after that you'll probably work as a worshipper. But you and your friends wanted to spend one last summer here, like you have done for the last 4 years. There was a certain relief in you that it was the last year, but you would only confess that to God. He already knows it anyway.
It always amazes you how many people were here. It starts at the age of 14 and goes up to 18. Then there are a few „leaders“ who prepare programs and prayer sessions for you, and check every now and then whether everything is in order. That was your future, God was your future and the reward for it would be given to you at the end of your life.
Your mother talked so much during the 2 hour drive about how happy you are that your church welcomes you so lovingly even in the summer, and that's not a given because there are many other churches that don't give opportunities like that.
You noticed that all the church employees give up their summer to talk about God and that at some point you have to do the same thing as your mother, who donates every Sunday and volunteers in the kitchen for 6 hours.
That made you happy again, that you didn't have to do that until after the summer.
Your mother kissed you on the forehead and said goodbye with God's blessing, you looked after the car for longer than necessary, and you tried to dig some poetic reason out of this feeling but there simply wasn’t one.
Now You're standing in front of the big building. All the teenagers are happily rushing from side to side and you feel guilty that you're the only one standing still and staring at the big cross above the door.
Hazel and the others aren't there yet, but you've been sent your room number per SMS and you feel ready to look for it on your own. Normally you follow Hazel around all summer, she always seems to know what was right and which way you should go. physically and mentally.
You would be here for 6 weeks, like every year, the rest of your family would spend their summer in Greece. You snort at the memory and continue to try to carry up your suitcase, which contains a 6 week supply of clothes and sweets.
The boys' rooms are on the second floor and the girls' rooms on the third floor, it's always been that way and it still annoys you.
Room 26
The rolling of your suitcase leaves behind a noise that mixes with the many giggles,of the girls from the many rooms. You go through the many doors and check the numbers.
24, 25, 26
There will be 6 girls in each room and you know them all, but to your surprise the door is slightly open. But when you enter the room you don't find anyone. The familiar bunk beds greet your eyes and your mouth turned into a thin line, because you were both disappointed and unmotivated.
There were enough cupboards on the wall for all of you, and they are still the same as last year.
A big, wide window at the end of the room showed the large meadow and the church, the lake was difficult to see but you know it’s there. There is a small table and a few chairs right in front of the window, you were lucky with the room this year, it could have been worse.
You stand in front of the wooden table and enjoy the view.
The others should be there soon too.
You decide to choose a bed, since Hazel loves to sleep on an upper bed, you put your suitcase and backpack on one of the beds below.
Just as you were about to start unpacking, you heard the rushes of pillows.
"hey"
You let out a little scream.
There is a girl lying on the bed opposite, someone you don't know and have never seen before. Not even in church.
You're pretty sure you're both scanning each other at the same time. She is beautiful. Her face looks almost perfect. So far you can only see her head and her legs are hanging out a little over the edge of the bed, which you should have noticed when you came in. There was something different about her, different from the other girls you know. She seems to notice how scared you are and lets out a small and breathy laugh.
Her voice gives you goosebumps and you hope that she'll say something else very quickly. She jumps from the upper level of the bed down onto the floor, she doesn't seem to care about the ladder, and the wood makes a cracking noise. She lands deftly on the floor. Now you examine her properly again.
The sleeves of her flannel are rolled up to her elbows, revealing a tattoo that extends across her entire forearm. You couldn't catch the color of her eyes before, but now you can see it clearly. Green.
She has short auburn hair in a half pulled back bun.
She is wearing gray baggy joggers and black converse.
"ellie"
She extends her hand to you and you wonder how long it has been since someone had made that gesture towards you. You say your name and carefully take her hand. You notice freckles on her pale skin as your hands touch. Your heart feels like it's tied up in strings that you have to untie as quickly as possible.
When your hands separate again, they feel cold.
"I've never seen you here before," you remark and turn back to your suitcase with red cheeks.
"Yes, um... I'm new? I think you could say that."
With a few t-shirts in your hand, you look at her one more time. She looks out the window a little unsure.
"okay...?"
not a lot of information but you can handle it, you probably won't talk much anyway. You hope for her that she knows someone here and doesn't have to be alone.
Even if she's a little odd, that doesn't mean she has to have a hard time here. After putting your shirts away, you went to grab the rest of your clothes when you realized what was so different about her. Ellie is now laying back on the bed and appears to be drawing or writing something.
“Are you even Christian?” you ask her. The question seems so absurd here. Sometimes it seems as if the holiness of the church next door, extends to the youth hostel. You really shouldn't have to ask a question like that here.
her green eyes turn to you.
"Not really"
She doesn't wait for your reaction and you are very happy about that, because your face definitely shows your puzzled head. It doesn't make sense, and you’re having a really hard time finding one. Why should a non-believer do this to herself?
"Why-"
The door bursts open and Hazel and her other friends come into the room laughing loudly.
"Hey, sorry we're late, everything's fine" Hazel appears in front of you and hugs you tightly, the smell of fresh roses touches your nose.
"It's all good, up there Ellie, she's new"
The eyes of the 4 girls meet those of the new one. Ellie seems a bit surprised that you introduced her so quickly, but it would have been awkward if it had taken 5 minutes to notice that there was another person in the room.
"oh, hey ellie I’m hazel"
the other girls introduce themselves to her as well. Mia, Kate and Naveah. You know them all from church and they’re nice.
"Which church do you go to, Ellie?" Mia asks and you can already guess the answer, but don't say anything.
"I don’t really go to church only on Christmas and thanksgiving, my aunt and uncle sometimes drag me to our city church Center in San Francisco. They're the only reason why I'm here."
Okay yes, she was very clear that she didn't want to be here, everyone in the room can read that.
"OK!" Hazel claps her hands together almost hysterically. "Then it's our job to bring you closer to God, I'm sure you were sent here for a good reason."
Even if you grew up with such talk, you can’t hide your embarrassed expression. You're pretty sure that someone who didn't grew up in a religious household would neither like to hear something like that nor really want to enforce it.
"Oh you don't have to, if God has something planned for me, he'll definitely figure it out himself." She whispers the last part, not too inconspicuously.
You briefly pray that she has a few friends here because after that, Hazel definitely doesn't want anything to do with her anymore.
Hazel sighs vexed and loudly places her backpack on the table, which again attracts Ellie's attention. She looks away from her journal and stands herself up with her elbows.
"I believe that God often tries to spread his word through people, as it so often says in the Bible.
Mark 16:15 says: Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation"
“Jesus,” Ellie whispers quietly.
“You can really leave me out, I’ll hear all your sermons anyway,” she adds.
"You can be happy about that, many people turn away from God and don't even hear his words," explains Kate.
"They’re lucky," murmurs Ellie, you're thinking about hitting her in the face , the next time she wants to say something.
Hazel's face showed a lot and it all goes in the same direction: anger and also responsibility. She believes that everything happens in God's will and that it is her job to convert ever human on earth. Unfortunately she also knows no limits.
"Do you at least have a Bible Ellie?" she asks, louder than necessary.
The other girls sit tensely at the table and watch the desputed interaction between the two.
"Yes, my aunt packed one for me"
"That's something"
"Um hazel" Naveah's voice was quiet and she looks like a frightened mouse. "We're about to have a get-to-know-you evening."
Hazel slowly comes out of her madness and smiles softly, just like you're used to.
"Right-"
"Ellie can go with us, she definitely doesn't know where to go."
You hate to interrupt your best friend, but you are sure that she would have just left Ellie here. Hazel's face looks a bit dazed and that only confirms it, Kate and the others also look at you with question marks on their faces.
“yeah I’d like that”
Your looks exchange and you smile at her in understanding.
Ellie is one of the most original girls you've ever had the pleasure of meeting, and you promise yourself not to succumb too much to the urges inside.
"Yeah whatever" Hazel storms past you without another word and the others follow her like dogs on a leash.
You could say that Hazel has always been more reverent and connected to God than most and this has made her both popular and well-known, especially in the church. The adults and pastors always spoke of her in the best terms.
It's every parent's greatest wish, that's clear to everyone. And that's one of the reasons why so many people want to be like her. The love and recognition of parents is not always self-evident, at least not in your church.
You realize that Ellie was your job now and that's why you stand there and wait until she jumps off the bed again.
"I don't actually want to do this, you know that?" She says.
you snort.
"Yes, you made that clear, Ellie."
As much as you try to be consistent and strict with her, you can't help but smile. You quickly follow the others, you can hear the footsteps of the other girl behind you.
The short path to the church across the meadow passes very quiet. Your gaze scurries over to the many other people, who are hurrying like bees making their way the bee queen. That's how it feels too, like a call from a higher society.
The church looks bigger from the inside, than you would think. It has a stage where preaching takes place and many benches, arranged in rows in front of it. A large wooden cross has been hung on the back wall near the stage, the sight of it gives you a cold shiver down your spine, even though you have been here so many times.
Ellie's figure appears next to you. She doesn't look too happy to be here either, but you can obviously hide it better. Her hands are tucked into her jogging pants and she has something masculine about her that you have never seen before.
But you find it brave and impressive how she didn't care what others thought of her. Hazel and her group had sat down in the second row and you tapped Ellie shoulder to make it clear to her that, whether she likes it or not, she will be sitting next to you.
She groans slightly for a moment, but follows you.
The church is very ordinary, except it’s made of wood it but other than that it looks like any other. As you and Ellie push your way forward through the crowd, you also see a few familiar faces from the last few years. You sit down in silence next to Naveah, who pays you no attention, just as Hazel.
Ellie lets out a sigh as she sits down and stares at the large cross. She looks a bit… charming?, but overall you can only tell that she has no interest whatsoever in being here. Ellie leans slightly toward you.
"What's going to happen here? Do we have to swear on the Bible or something?"
Your eyes widen and you can't help but laugh.
"No, the pastor will introduce himself and we will discuss what topics we have this week and what our daily routine looks like."
“Okay” She screws up her face and you smile.
When you turn back around, Hazel's stare pierces your soul. You didn't even have to turn towards her, the energy of her anger was strong enough, that it could’ve reach you in another state
"Okay children, sit down" Pastor Tobias walks through the hall and the crowd becomes quieter.
The fact that he still calls you children was not only embarrassing for you in front of Ellie, but it generally puzzled you a lot. But as mentioned, there were also 15 year olds here, but it still annoys you.
As soon as he stands on the stage, it becomes completely quiet.
"Welcome, it's nice that you're all here to serve God and praise the Lord."
Your chest slowly tightens and you fidget a little with your fingers. Ellie nudges you with her elbow. Surprised by the gesture, you turn to her, and she looks at you with so much concern and confusion at the same time that it disturbs you a bit.
Her look asks you if you're okay, but it also shows that she understands if you're not.
"This week we're tackling the topic of conversion and the rewards for it. Then on Wednesday you'll go on a hike in the forest."
The children all groan because everyone knows how shitty such hikes are and how long they were.
"Yeah, yeah, I know, but it's going to be brightened up with a little scavenger hunt. Later, the staff will give you your tasks here on the camp and , yes still today, there will be a Bible lesson. Every morning and afternoon."
You actually like Bible lessons, you were good at reciting facts that you read in a book, it wasn't as bad as having the words of a preacher tattooed into your brain.
Pastor Tobias drives ahead.
"You have free time in the morning until breakfast and then the bible lessons and workshops begin. There are many different selections where you can register straight away, and then you have free time again for a few hours. The youth hostel's sports hall is now open again And you can use it again this year. In the evening the sermon will takes place at 8 p.m. You then have the choice to watch a film in the large hall and there will be silence for bedtime at 11 p.m.."
“Shit, that doesn’t sound so bad.”
Ellie's honesty appeals to you like iced water on a hot summer day.
unfortunately it’s also a very loud call im such a quiet room and a few people laugh in the back rows.
The pastor's eyes land on the girl and he seems to have remembered something because he doesn't drive forward.
"ellie..." a quick glance at the list of many names.
"Williams?"
The call doesn't surprise Ellie, she just nods, unconvinced.
Pastor Tobias nods and you can read a kind of... anger that makes your hands sweat.
"Yes, I remember you, young girl"
Ellie grimaces briefly at the nickname, he gave her.
"I see there has been no progress?"
You frown, but again it seems to be expected for Ellie.
"None that you would like" she grins at him, if you couldn't hear her words it would pass for a warm, even playful, smile. The room seems even quieter now and now you feel really cold.
All of this makes you incredibly nervous in the worst possible way.
"yes I see, well I hope this will finally help you"
After the sermon and after everyone has unpacked their things, the Bible lesson begins. There, everyone is divided into groups and you can talk about God and the world either in your room, the common room or sometimes even outside.
Your group decides to go outside and the grass under your fingers feels nice and comforting cold somehow. Hazel and some of the others have changed and you are also wearing much more comfortable clothes now.
"I don't really trust her? Sounds weird but that's how I feel."
You nod to every syllable Hazel says about Ellie.
Hazel fidgets with her long, holey sweater and you look up at the sky, watching the clouds. The lesson should start in a few minutes but Ellie is nowhere to be seen.
"I don't think she's coming," Mia murmurs.
"Yeah, as if she'd care." Kate laughs.
Hazel shifts a bit.
"But she should, even Tobi said that. I knew there was something strange about her.”
It bothers you how they can speak so badly about a complete stranger.
“Pastor Tobi may be a pastor but he’s not God, we don’t know anything for sure, Hazel.” Your stern voice surprises the others.
Most of the time you prefer to listen and observe, rather than add to the something conversations yourself.
Most of the time.
“But we can trust him, at least I do. Don’t you?”
It was a bet, without a doubt, one that you wouldn’t take up.
“Okay girls,”
a young woman in her mid-20s appears in front you with a smile and a Bible in her hand.
“Where should we start? Any concerns?”
You look at her without any real thoughts, no memory of her.
“Must be new,” Hazel whispers, saying what you’re thinking.
“Oh yes, I’m Louisa, but you can call me whatever you want, Lou, Louise, I don’t care.”
A small smile, blinded by the sun, hits your face as you notice how authentic and nice she seems. Ellie would definitely like her too if she would be here… it’s strange how familiar she already is to you. how much you outvote her.
"I am both your carer and your contact person, because I know that many of you do not see the two as one and the same."
She smiles lovingly and sits cross-legged in front of you so that you form a small circle.
"If there is anything on your mind, you can talk to me."
Hazel speaks up, finger in the air, her body completely stiff.
"Oh, you don't have to-"
Hazel interrupts Louisa quickly.
"Ellie didn't show up,"
you almost hiss through your teeth.
"Yes, I noticed that too..." she looks at her note and seems to be thinking about what exactly she should about this situation.
"I'll talk to her later."
A smile that doesn't really show love and attention appears on Hazel's lips.
"You should do that."
You don't see or hear anything from Ellie for the rest of the evening. You keep catching yourself looking around, hoping that she might be behind you. Your ears waited to hear the girl's rough voice or bright laugh, but that just didn't happen.
At the campfire, the clouds of smoke and the big fire banish your view and you just don't dare to get up and look for her. It would be too conspicuous and Hazel is already angry enough.
Hazel tells you about the many fireflies she saw last week and that she got an instant camera before camp. You turn over your stick of bread in silence and lean back on the bench, then you feel a warm, familiar hand on your shoulder.
"Are you okay, darling?"
Louisa’s eyes examine your face worriedly. She looks almost as old as you in the dark, but the fire shows that she actually isn't.
"huh?"
"are you alright?"
When Hazel notices that you are no longer participating in her conversation she turns the other way to Kate, finally you hear silence in your head for the first time this afternoon.
"yes, I'm fine," you whisper.
She almost didn't seem to hear it, but nods slowly.
"are you looking for someone?"
she whispers back with a grin, either to accommodate your gesture or because she realizes that your other friends probably shouldn't notice.
"me? no."
You wave your hand in the air, distracted. Louisa didn't really seem to buy it.
She takes the bread from her stick and looks into the distance, behind the fire. You wonder what is going on in her head.
"she's behind the yard."
You turn to her, shocked, because she knows full well that Ellie is actually some kind of problem case that you should maybe probably stay away from.
The woman notices your gaze and looks at you amused.
"I know how it feels to want something you shouldn't want, a friendship especially. A lot of people don't mention it but group stress and pressure doesn't end at 18."
her words bring you both comfort and sadness.
"when will it end?"
you're not sure why you're talking to her about it, much less why you feel comfortable enough to do so. Louisa was silent for a few seconds before answering.
"depends. maybe never. only we can make a difference, even though we're not the cause of the problem."
You gently pull your bread off the fire and set it aside so that it rests on the stick, in the air.
"thank you Louisa" you stand up, smiling, and turn to Hazel with a little more determination.
"i'm going to the bathroom for a minute."
hazel's eyes drift up from her conversation with some brown haired guy.
"okay.
without listening to anything else, your feet lead you away from the fire, until it is just a memory and a red light in the distance.
You feel immediately relieved.
But the closer you get to the youth hostel, the more nervous you become. you don't understand why and that only frustrates you more until it feels a little like your whole system is about to fail.
In the back yard, Louisa told you.
Louisa said it was okay to talk to Ellie, to want to talk to her, no reason to feel bad about it. Nevertheless, you stop before the turn to the back yard and look at the pebbles that make that crunching sound, which reminds you that you really want this.
But why do you feel so bad about wanting this?
new friendships are a good thing? yes, Hazel doesn't like her and she is probably a problem case in the church, but that is nothing world-changing.
your back finds the wall of the building and you breathe in and out quickly.
you are worried that if you turn here now you will just walk past her. Out of fear of her, of you, and of the rejection. Your breathing becomes heavier in your lungs. Panic, which you know all too well, spreads inside you and your hand goes to your chest.
"What the fuck is wrong with me?“
"yeah what is wrong with you dude"
you flinch and worry whether you have broken something, even though that is impossible in any universe.
"fuck"
you support yourself on your knees, immersed in shock, and eye the converse of Ellie, who is standing next to you.
"you good?"
"yes, jesus"
That came out a little harsher than you intended and the girl's eyes narrow for a second.
"sorry- you just scared me"
you lean against the wall again. you are sure that Ellie will go away now, but you hear her shoes stop right next to you.
"sorry, it wasn't intentional, what are you doing here?"
you don't know that either.
"I don't know"
you put your hands in your cardigan and look the auburn-haired girl in the eyes.
She is now leaning against the wall next to you.
"That's cool" the silence and the eye contact almost kills you, until you notice that Ellie is experimenting with something in her hands.
"Ellie, you can't smoke here! you shouldn't smoke at all"
Ellie giggles loudly and licks the paper to finish rolling the cigarette. Your gaze falls on her tongue and its movements but you quickly turn back to the front, feeling dizzy now.
Okay? That was... weird?
you thought.
"Nobody dies because of a little smoking"
"You would be surprised" you say and watch as she lights the cigarette.
It looks relaxing. Not as scary and evil as you always imagined, it almost looks magical.
"You never smoked before?"
Disbelief in her voice.
You giggle and relax your shoulders.
"not so common at a Christian school, I once went to a party with Mia. There were lots of joints and cigarettes, but I never got any closer to the stuff"
"it's awesome, and you can buy it if you want. 18 and your parents can't really tell you shit"
Your mother's face appears in your vision and the feeling of shame spreads again.
"yes, they can..."
Ellie takes a drag on the cigarette and looks at you again.
Softer and more curious.
"fuck, you take this actually serious"
"yeah, what else should I do? A lot of people aren't here for fun, Ellie"
"yes, I can imagine, Dina takes it serious too"
Now she looks like the same person you remember meeting. Much more serious and proud. A little brave too.
"who's Dina?"
Ellie kicks a few stones with her shoe and her expression doesn't really tell you much.
"nobody. isn't important, but she takes it seriously."
You nod and respect her boundaries even if it's the last thing you want to do.
"You don't?"
"Fuck no" she laughs, but the wall that she has built up for herself for so long and with so much effort, is crumbling.
You could see and hear it. Her eyebrows frown and her voice was like a silky purr.
"Ellie- I know it's none of my business but why-"
"What do you think, doll? Ha, you remind me of a doll"
That distracts you.
You turn to her with a grin. "How do I remind you of a doll?"
the physical openness surprised Ellie, but she happily accepted it. she turned around and grins at you.
"quiet and pretty. but like, porcelain pretty as if you had been painted."
Holy shit.
you curse yourself for having said that, but it is the only thing that does justice to your feelings right now. your face gets warm and you can’t help but smile at that. You probably look dumb with that stupid grin on your face. No one ever said something like that so casually to you and your not sure if you wanted anyone else, but Ellie to be the one who does.
But it is a nice tingling sensation.
as if soft feathers were brushing against your skin.
"so what do you think I'm doing here?"
The nervous feeling visits you again but it is more caring than before, less careful.
"I'm sure you did something. I'm just not sure what exactly, but it must be bad, right?"
you actually just wanted to joke but Ellie's face turns gloomy again and she takes another puff of her rolled cigarette.
"maybe? I'm not really sure myself, it didn't feel wrong."
Confused, you watch her, her face, her tousled hair and her hand holding the poison, she is probably addicted to but cannot resist.
"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."
"What?"
You giggle at her confusion, but immediately explain what you mean.
"Temptations are common in the Bible. And in the world too. They are everywhere even if we cannot see or feel them."
You both look forward now instead of at each other because that seems more pleasant. The green trees were barely visible now. At least not the leaves. The trunk was still there.
"But how do you know it's a temptation?"
Lost and maybe even confusion appear in Ellie's deep voice. Your heart breaks a little, like the first time you saw your grandpa cry.
"I believe that if it harms you or others, it is a clear sin. biblical and moral," you explain.
"There are rules... many." You add uncomfortable
Ellie nods at your words, not like you do with Hazel. She means it seriously and she listens.
"I know."
"So what did you do?"
She seems confused for a moment, but then memory flashes across her face and she looks straight ahead again.
"I kissed someone."
"You kissed someone?" You repeat slowly, grinning slightly.
That's not so bad.
"Well I kissed someone and got caught... doing something else. But it's related."
You nervously play with the fabric of your cardigan.
"Okay?"
So she had sex?
Sin before marriage, But we can let that slide.
God, you could fill a damn library with all the stories you heard in your class, about girls who were caught with boys in their beds.
"She didn't get into trouble. I'm the only one here."
your brain clicks it all together quickly. God in heaven, you are naive. naive, stupid and careless.
"oh"
Ellie chuckles breathy.
"oh"
she emphasizes in the same shocked tone as you.
you swallow, noticing how dry your throat is. your back feels cold and hot at the same time for the first time in your life you understand what Edvard Munch meant by his god damned “the scream“ painting.
if Ellie wasn't standing right in front of you, you probably wouldn't look any different.
“Ellie I- that like a very big sin"
the pebble dances beneath her feet, as she turns away from you.
"no shit"
"wait I didn't-"
what didn't you? you said what you were supposed to say.
why the fuck do you feel like you need to add something to that. To have another conversation with her.
To look at her and pray that she's already looking at you. She stops with her back to you.
You've never been sure how to deal with irritable people. You couldn't do it with your sister or brother, with Hazel or anyone else.
"I-I don't know what to say. but I don't want you to leave"
Truths
Truths
Truths.
that's not a sin.
if you were to say something different to her now, Things you should normally say, you would be lying.
you wouldn't be any better.
7/21/2007
Reader pov:
6:40 a.m
The air is stuffy. Grossly stuffy and thick.
Before you even open your eyes you notice how bright it is and look at your clock on the bedside table.
6:41 a.m
You let out a sigh and you can hear the snoring of a few of the other girls. Even though you don't have to get up until 7:30 it's not worth going back to sleep or even trying.
The chances of it working are slim. You unintentionally go over last night again.
Ellie confesses that she kissed a girl. You reacted like a good Christian girl, but after a few seconds you felt so bad that you stopped her from leaving and pulled her back. You said that you don't hate her, but that it's not right according to God. Ellie seemed to find that a bit annoying, but she was no longer in rabies mode.
Then you ran. well, not really ran, but you quickly turned around and went back to the fire.
It all became too much and it happened too fast. Ellie look after you touched her arm and she reacted to your words.
Your face turned red out of shame and the thought, that she might notice, bothered you.
When you came back from the campfire, Ellie wasn't in bed or in the bathroom. You were a little worried, apparently Ellie is the kind of person who sometimes doesn't let herself be seen for a while.
You bend your head out of bed and look at the top bunk opposite. still empty.
"Fuck," you mumble, stressed now.
You slowly get your legs out of bed and for the first time in years you are glad that you always have to sleep in the bottom bunk.
The floor is ice cold, but the sun outside gives the room warm air.
As you try to get up, you stupidly bang your head on the wall of the bed above you.
"Shit!"
You hear a few pillows and blankets rustling for a moment, but then the usual morning silence returns.
You quickly grab your slippers, a cardigan, your MP3 player and your Nokia. You wash your face and teeth and try to tame your hair. When you're done, you standing lost in the hallway. Nobody seems to be awake.
You put your headphones on and play your playlist. It was a mix of The Killers and Coldplay, since luckily your parents didn't just show you 80s music.
All these things that I've done. You love this song.
You try to go down the stairs at the beat, but quickly realise that it's much too loud. You scurry past the boys' hallway and there isn't a soul either. Kate's boyfriend should have arrived last night. You hate Kate's boyfriend.
There are a few more people awake on the first floor, but you don't really want to start a conversation, so you try to scurry to the end of the hallway, past the common room and the dining room.
you've almost reached the door to freedom, when someone says your name.
Pastor Tobias. great.
"good morning, young lady" it always confuses you that he talks like he’s 50. he's only in his mid-30s.
"Hello Pastor Tobias, how are you this morning?"
the pastor comes closer.
"I feel especially blessed today"
you both laugh uncomfortably at his words.
"Are you on your way to pray in church? The church is already open, my morning prayers are very important to me."
"um..." actually that's not the reason, but then he would definitely not let you out. you make a mental note to stop by the church later. "Yes, exactly. Isn't that how you'd like your morning to start?"
The man nods in agreement and also... proudly?
"You could be a great worship leader one day… I don't want to hold you up. But please be back for breakfast, You know how time flies when you're praying."
Another unpleasant laugh and then you're through the door.
You arrive in the cold air, wearing only your short striped pj shorts, a spaghetti top and a green knit jacket. Your gaze glides over the large meadow.
Everything is exactly like yesterday, only with a lot more fog and a lot fewer people.
You love this hour of day. Everyone is about to wake up and one you get a last look at the world, without loud noises, lots of people and tasks. As you walk across the meadow towards the lake, your non-waterproof shoes soak up the water from the meadow. Your legs start to freeze as well.
You pray that you won't have a cold tomorrow. You walk past the large church and the fireplace. Just as you are almost at the lake, you see a figure emerging from the grass walking towards you.
You recognize him immediately.
Caleb Thompson. You have known each other for years and your churches are very close to each other. Every year he is here, just like you, and every year Hazel tries to get a date with him or a phone number, anything.
You have the urge to either run back and pretend you never saw him or hide in the grass. Both are out of the question, as he is already far too close and has probably seen you.
"Don't come too close to me, psycho" - yes, you were expecting a reaction like that, but he likes to exaggerate. He takes two steps away from you.
"I haven't forgotten how sick you are, girl. Don't do anything stupid or I'll tell everyone what happened, I promise, bitch".
Your eyes widen, he walks past you with his arms protectively outstretched.
"It wasn't that bad, motherfucker"
- he stops and turns around.
"What did you just call me?" You stop too.
For years you've wanted to tell him how much of a fucked up person he really is, but for Hazel's sake you never did. But now you’re sure that they won’t end as a couple anyway.
"Motherfucker, Caleb. You're a real asshole"
- you say with your arms crossed.
His long, blonde hair lies in his face and looks pretty unkempt, as if he's been swimming at night and hasn't showered. "You cunt-"
He comes at you, you mentally prepare yourself. But an arm separates you and pushes him away.
"Jesus Caleb, calm down." You know that voice.
Her short reddish, brown hair is in a little braid this time and she still seems to be in her sleeping clothes.
"the fuck Ellie you don't know shit-"
"yeah but I also don't care about shit, I just know you shouldn't hit a girl. so please piss off"
he lets out a loud, annoyed breath like men always do and turns around, and if he wasn't walking on grass you would probably hear his stomping pretty well.
"you didn't have to do that"
Ellie's eyes meet yours for the first time since yesterday.
"yeah, but I still did. No matter how sweet your little ego is, that guy would have ripped you to pieces. no offens"
how much you want to tell her that that's not true and how shitty he is, how much he deserves it, but you don't.
"whatever"
"where are you going?"
the question surprises you. up until now you were obsessed with starting a conversation with Ellie, up until now it wasn't based on reciprocity.
If you weren’t nervous before, you sure as hell are now.
"to the lake" your voice is a bit quiet but she seems to have heard it, her gaze wanders behind you to the lake and she shrugs her shoulders.
"okay" then she walks past you towards the lake. you frown.
She looks over her shoulder.
"are you coming?"
"yeah!" you quickly try to keep up with her pace.
"what are you doing here so early?"
you ask her while walking quickly.
"actually I wanted to swim, but the water is so fucking cold"
"you swim? Like, professionally"
"when I was little I was in the swimming club for 3 years, but now I only swim when I want and can" she grinned at you.
your stomach tickles nervously.
"were you good"
she chuckles at you. "yes I was really fucking good"
a smile spreads across your lips and you follow her to the jetty. You sit down at the end of the long wooden path. you take off your shoes and put you legs in the water. "cold!"
Ellie giggles next to you. "told you"
you grin back and nudge her with your elbow. you are sitting so close that you can feel the warmth of her body on your arm.
Something’s not right. Something’s different. Different from when you talk to Hazel or Caleb or anyone. This feels like you belong somewhere. With her as weird as that sounds since she’s someone who likes the same sex.
But then you remember, Your sister once spent a year abroad in Germany and brought you cactus popsicle. The tip of the ice, made a crackling sound in your mouth that was funny, unreal and ticklish. you laughed the whole evening at the reactions of the family members. that's exactly how it feels right now.
like German cactus popsicle.
You dare to look at Ellie.
she is also wearing pjs pants and a white tank top with a grey hoodie jacket over it. her hair is imperceptibly and tousled probably from being limp, but you find it kind of cute.
Ellie is always so serious and sarcastic, but you are sure she is a bit softer and more sensitive.
This "look" shows you that again. She is just a girl too, a very complicated and chaotic girl.
"why don't you swim anymore?" you ask her.
"Joel said I took it too seriously back then, now that I think about it, he was probably right."
Ellie's playfully kicks the water like a stone on the road.
"who's Joel?"
she gives you a quick glance to the side.
"my adoptive father."
"oh" you try to suppress the surprise in your voice but it doesn't work.
"did he send you here?"
you hope you're not asking too many personal questions, but Ellie doesn't seem to mind.
"no, that was my aunt and uncle, I'm here for the summer while Joel is enjoying his life on the coast of Miami. Oregon really sucks compared to Miami."
you nod thoughtfully.
"what is he doing in Malibu? … and what are you doing here and not in Malibu?"
"Honeymoon. my old man is just married, but Tess is really sweet, I like her"
"Tess, pretty name" you reply.
"yes, the wedding was nice, I even got to play the guitar for Take on Me" another fulfilled smile appears on her face as she watches the water.
Ellie has lots of things that make her happy and feel good. No matter how broken the pastor thinks she is, it's not true. She is one of the most complete people you have ever seen.
"I can play the piano" you grin at her surprised reaction.
"Piano, huh? I tried to learn it once, but it's too complicated for me, I'll stick with guitars. Huge respect though doll"
the nickname she gives you, makes you feel warm, your heart jumps excited and the trust you give her feels good. Safe.
"yes, my mother forced me to learn it as a child so that I could play for the choir, so please don't laugh at me if I have to do that here too."
"I would never laugh at you. Especially not because of something impressive"
now you obviously turn your head towards her. For a few seconds you just look at each other, as if you had to upgrade each other's bodies and faces all over again.
"Your very Sweet Ellie."
The girl's freckles are affected by the redness of her face and she looks away again. You want to talk about yesterday, you can't really get last night out of your head.
"About yesterday..."
Now she shakes her head quickly.
"Just forget it. I know what you think about it... but I don't want it to stand between us. You're much too nice, please just forget it."
You can hear her impatience but also her fear.
"It doesn't bother me." You reply softly
"What?"
It breaks your heart how surprised she is. How much she expects the hate and rejection.
John 15:12: My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.
"I don't really mind it. however you feel about this or about yourself it doesn't matter. you are made of love Ellie."
You have never felt this wise in your entire life, and never more like yourself too.
"that was so cheesy holy shit"
you bump your shoulder hard against hers, laughing.
"fuck you"
just as you were about to sit down a bit more comfortable you fidget a bit trying to find a comfortable position, as Ellie bumps her shoulder so hard into yours, at such a wrong moment that you were in the water in three seconds. You fail and try to hold on to her, but pull her in with you.
The cold water embraces your body unexpected. Your clothes absorb the water so quickly, that as soon as you reach the surface your cardigan is as heavy as stone.
Luckily you put your phone and your mp3 player out of your pocket before whatever this is happened.
You gasp loudly and the cold that takes over your face turns your cheeks a fiery red.
"Ellie what the fuck-"
You admit, you actually intended to be mad, her clumsiness got you into cold water but she just laughs loud. Your arms slide slowly in rhythm to your sides and keep you above water.
"I'm so sorry really but-"
she starts laughing again.
You are sure that she will wake up the whole camp with her laughter. Grinning, you swim over to her.
"Okay Ellie calm down. You’re gonna drown from Laughing-„
Splashes of water land in your face and you let out a little scream. The other girl looks you over teasingly and moves away.
"You're so done"
In a matter of seconds a shaft of water starts and all you can hear is the loud splashing of the water and the screaming of two girls.
splash
Water in Ellie's face, but she manages to protect herself with her arms.
splash
Water hits your face for the third time and you laugh and squeeze your eyes shut.
"Okay, I give up," you gasp.
"Yeah, you better,"
Ellie Chuckles, also completely soaked.
You look at her.
Her wet hair is stickt to her cheeks and she has this grin that would make you do anything. And she's funny, so damn funny. And beautiful, especially now. She's like salt water. She's like the sea. Wild and grumpy and salty. When you're with her, you feel the way you do when you hear a really good song for the first time.
"You okay?"
You quickly leave your thoughts behind and nod at her.
"Never been better,"
she laughs. To your surprise, she then lets herself float on the surface of the water. Her arms outstretched and her eyes closed. You do the same and the both of you lie next to each other.
Her pointed fingers lightly brush against yours.
She’s Like salt water. As soon as you notice it, it starts to burn and you want to wash it off straight away.
To all the closeted queer people in church; you matter and you’re a real icon. There are more gay in religious spaces than you think!!! Try finding each other, it helps a lot!! Spend time with the people who love and enjoy who you are ❤️ ( GAYYYY)
SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG FORGIVE ME
Taglist: @elliewilliamgfooc @a-little-bit-of-everybody @vqxen @hersuniverse @nelzooo @shiimer @bready101
#ellie williams angst#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams fanfic#ellie williams smut#ellie x fem reader#ellie x reader#ellie the last of us#joel tlou#joel miller#the last of us fandom#the last of us fanfiction#the last of us part 2#the last of us#tlou2 fanfic#tlou part 2#ellie williams#ellie tlou#ellie x you#ellie smut#joel and ellie#dina tlou#jesse tlou#fem reader#religious trauma#femme reader#fem!reader
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