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blainesebastian · 4 months

Text

something real

words: 13,045 ship: austin butler x female reader rating: SFW except for one explicit scene summary: i took inspo from a request about fake!dating for a wedding and from another film with a similar premise. what else do you do when your ex is getting married? hire a fake date notes: feel free to visit my austin masterlist warnings: none, but check the rating. tag list: @austinbutlermischief, @killerqueenfan, @stylespresleyhearted,

“You’re losing it.”

A short laugh escapes your lips because god, maybe you are. This all started out easily enough—you needed a date for your ex’s wedding. Right, the fact that you were even invited kind of drives you crazy. It’s not like you didn’t have a good relationship with Todd, you did? But it also doesn’t change the fact how things ended—he ‘meant’ to break things off with you but started seeing someone at the same time. Claire. The girl he’s marrying. But you’re not about to go through life with grudges and anger when you can just let things go.

Which is why you’ve entertained this wedding invitation in the first place?

But to go alone? That’s a fate worse than death.

Which, ironically, is exactly what your friend, Jill, is telling you you’re going to be with this idea you’ve come up with.

“It’s all perfectly safe.” You mutter, sliding onto a bar stool and turning to look at her. You’re wearing a light blue dress, pair of booties, and jean jacket. Just casual enough but also hinting you’ve got a figure to show off if you really wanted to.

She scoffs, “Yeah, that’s what everyone says before they end up on 60 Minutes.”

You can’t help but smile, tugging the file out of your course before setting it on the bar top. “Do you want me to explain it again?”

Jill puts her hands on her hips—as if that will somehow make her comfortable with all of this, but she’s not protesting either. So you open up the file and—

“So my neighbor’s used this service before to go to her high school reunion, you know, so she didn’t end up there alone. She went onto their online platform, filled out a survey and bam, she was matched with someone to go.”

Jill narrows her eyes, “For twenty thousand dollars.”

“Well it’s not charity,” You throw back, “I’ve done the research, there’s a ton of reviews—all positive. It’s not like it’s about sex or anything, it’s just…companionship for one event.”

Jill looks at the file, crinkling her nose, “There’s so many other ways you could have done this—Rick, the guy in 6B? He’s always thought you were cute.”

You laugh a little, “If I go out with Rick, there is a good chance I’ll end up missing some limbs—dude is creepy, Jill.”

Her friend rolls her eyes but it’s fond, opening up the file and pointing to a blank spot where this guy’s photo should be, “Okay, but you don’t even get to know what he looks like?”

“I think it was my Wi-Fi,” You state honestly, “Some of the images weren’t loading. But that’s why you’re here,” You grin, “Safety measures. So—” You gently push on one of her hips, “Go find a table, order a drink while I wait for Austin.”

“That’s the gigolo’s name?”

“Wedding date,” You correct, shooing her away until she heads to a table.

Taking a breath, you look at the reflective surface of the bar mirror in front of you, mentally praying that this somehow not a huge mistake and order a drink.

Chewing on the drunken cherry in your Manhattan, you glance down the bar as you see someone handsome talking to a small group of women. You wonder if that’s Austin, looking for you—he’s about ten minutes late. Your stomach clenches anxiously, knowing that maybe Jill was right and this is utterly ridiculous. But…you got invited to the wedding late (either it was a last-minute thought or it got lost in the mail) but there was no way you could organically find someone to ask.

Sure, you could have brought Jill or some other friend but…deep down? You know this is about making Todd feel utterly stupid for cheating on you, for leaving you for someone else. You don’t want him back, of course, but that feeling of satisfaction? That look on his face when he sees you with someone else? You want it.

You can’t not go and you can’t find someone random in your life already to go with…so when your neighbor mentioned this quick fix? How could you not look into it? You’ve got a ton of money saved from over the years, not to mention a small investment your grandfather put in your name. What’s the harm in looking into this, right?

“Y/N?”

Turning on the bar stool, you nearly swallow your own tongue as you’re met face to face with who you assume is Austin. And joke’s on you because he’s ten times more beautiful than the other guy at the bar you saw talking to those women. He’s tall, lean, in a pair of dark jeans and a black t-shirt underneath a black leather jacket. Easily handsome, like…James Dean or Elvis Presley. Doesn’t have to try very hard.

And suddenly something hysterical crawls up your throat as he takes a seat next to you, introduces himself as Austin, and apologizes for being late because of traffic because—

“I’m sorry—” You interrupt, shaking your head, “This uh, this isn’t going to work.”

His eyebrows draw together in confusion, his mouth opening and closing, “Excuse me?”

“You’re,” You laugh lightly, cheeks heating up. There’s this sickly sensation gripping your stomach, telling you to run, “No one is going to believe that we’re dating.”

And maybe that’s something oddly pathetic you shouldn’t have uttered outloud because what’s even worse, Austin seems to grip what you’re saying and his features soften. You do not want pity or sympathy, you’re just…stating a fact.

Austin takes in a soft breath and looks towards the bartender, ordering himself a beer, confusing you a little because you expected him to just…take off. There’s no money involved at this point, it’s a clean break. This meeting is just to discuss details.

“I think you’re underestimating yourself,” He states gently, eyes sweeping over your form. And god, he’s good, isn’t he? You suppose this is his job, making women feel good. Confident. Even though it’s all a lie.

Letting out a breath as his drink is set down on the bar, you figure there’s no harm in…talking with him, right? He came all this way; you can at least wait until he finishes his beer to turn him down. You’ll just go to this damn wedding alone—it’s really not that big of a deal, right?

Austin takes off his leather jacket, hanging it up on a hook underneath the bar and he smells amazing—some sort of cologne that’s fresh and almost citrusy. You run a hand through your hair and order another Manhattan.

“So your request said a wedding?”

“My ex,” You clarify, “And I don’t want him back, or anything, I just want him to feel like an idiot.”

Austin smiles a little, humming— “Well, that shouldn’t be too hard. I’m assumin’ he already is one.”

A small laugh stutters forward in your chest because yes, he is. Your shoulders start to relax just a little because maybe Austin gets it. By not going or going alone you…you don’t want Todd to think that he’s somehow gotten one over you, that you’re lonely or broken ever since you’ve separated.

“Have you…done weddings before?”

He shifts a little on the barstool so that he’s facing you a little easier, “I’ve done weddings the most,” He admits, “Two high school reunions, one funeral.”

You raise your eyebrows, setting your drink down on the bar. “A funeral?”

Austin shrugs lightly, “Some women just want a hand to hold on their hardest day, a shoulder to cry on. Someone to talk to.” He licks his lips, taking a sip of his beer, “I’m not one to judge.”

You straighten your shoulders and…you suppose you’re really not in a position to do that either, given you’re here to hire Austin so you feel less alone and pathetic at a wedding. You take a long look at him for a moment, —curious. He doesn’t want to be doing anything else?

“Can I ask—why are you doing this?” Your fingers trace shapes into the condensation on your glass. “This whole fake-date program?”

Austin clears his throat, “You can ask me whatever you want,” He starts and that within itself seems like a dangerous proposition. “I work at this café near here but uh, it doesn’t exactly bring a lot of money in. I want to be an actor, like…a serious one, the money I get from these dates I’m savin’ up to go to L.A.”

And he essentially gets to pretend to be someone he’s not. Like an endless list of auditions.

There are other things you want to ask, other questions stuck in your throat about doing weddings. Why weddings? The whole concept seems like a bad idea—a high school reunion, a holiday party, even a funeral makes more sense, doesn’t it?

Those aren’t emotionally connected events, there’s no…opportunities to fall into something deeper than what the contract of attachment allows. But weddings? It’s about love and finding your person and…going to one with someone else feels like such a slippery slope.

Or maybe it doesn’t because Austin is a professional.

“So if I…if we do this, what does it entail, exactly?” You take another sip of your drink, as if you need the liquid courage for his response.

A small smile graces his handsome face again, “Don’t overthink it. It’s whatever you want, whatever you’re comfortable with.”

You feel like there’s this heat uncoiling in your belly even though he’s not suggesting anything. Somehow, it’s in the ocean blue of his eyes—a depth there. You clear your throat, “You mean uh—if I require a dance partner? Because I love to dance at weddings…usually badly.”

Austin laughs warmly but shakes his head. “I meant if I was goin’ as your date or a boyfriend.”

And oh, of course, you hadn’t even thought about it but of course Austin would want a more specific role to sink his teeth into and your mind spins about what you want to do. It’s just one night, one silly wedding, there’s no long con here. It’s not like Todd will even care who you show up with, right? You’re the one who wants to feel less lonely—

And yet—

“You can think about it, if you need to—”

“Boyfriend.” You say, cutting him off. Heat returns to your cheeks…mise well go big or go home, right? If you’re going to do this? This has got to be a bad idea, right?

“Okay,” Austin smiles, “Good.”

So it’s settled that he’ll meet you at your place beforehand, you’ll iron out details of your relationship in case anyone asks and then you’ll go to the wedding together.

Austin stands and he tosses some cash on the bar counter (enough to cover your drink as well) and he hovers for a moment, tugging on his leather jacket. “My number’s in the file, in case you need it.”

Then there’s a moment where Austin watches you, fixing the lapels of his jacket. His one hand then rests on the bar, taking a step closer to you, and the way that you’re seated, your legs open just slightly to accommodate his body in your space.

“Don’t hit me, alright?” He smiles a little, leaning down, and honestly you’re the one that feels like you’re getting sucker punched in the stomach. Air right out of your lungs. “It was nice meeting you.”

You swallow, your mouth suddenly dry as your eyes flutter to his lips, “Yeah, you too.”

There’s more than enough time for you to pull away, but you don’t, so he kisses you.

It’s nothing obscene, but slow and gentle. Warm. Just enough to make your heart pound against your ribcage, electricity singing in your veins. You suppose it’s something you should get used to if Austin is going to pass as your boyfriend.

You raise your eyebrows a little as he pulls away, hot under the collar of your jean jacket.

“Figure we’d just get that out of the way so you could concentrate.” He teases and god, your mind is spinning. You kinda hate that he’s made you feel like this so easily, like somehow it’s second nature.

“What, that doesn’t cost extra?” You manage to throw out there, finding your voice.

Austin grins, another soft laugh rumbling in his chest. “I’ll see you soon.”

You let out a slow breath, running a hand over your hair as you watch him walk out of the bar before downing the rest of your drink.

“So that’s your date, huh?” Jill asks as she comes up behind you—honestly her voice kinda sounds like cotton in your ears. “Todd is gonna swallow his own tongue.”

And you can’t help but grin.

You meet one more time before the wedding, just…something to solidify that you do, in fact, know what you’re doing. But also to get a bit more comfortable around Austin and the fact that he’s going to be your boyfriend. You let out a slow breath, aggravated by how crazy that sounds. Maybe Jill’s right, maybe this is a bad idea (despite how handsome and charming Austin is).

He’s picked you up to go somewhere but won’t tell you where. And when the engine turns off, you undo your seatbelt and look out the windshield, “A custard house?”

“Was hopin’ you could go for somethin’ sweet,” Austin smiles a little, “They make these waffle custard sandwiches that’ll change your life.”

You hum lightly and start to get out of the car, a little confused because…well, you’re not sure what you expected, but it wasn’t this. “We’re here for ice cream sandwiches?”

Austin scrunches his nose in mock offense at her flippant description, “No, we’re here for waffle custard. You need to work on listenin’, come on.” He gets out of the car too and locks the doors.

You know you’re about to paying Austin a decent amount of money to be your stand-in date, your fake boyfriend, dragging him to this wedding for god knows what reasons make sense in your head but…you suppose you didn’t count on him being like this. A tiny bit thoughtful, sweet, funny even.

Or maybe he’s already a decent actor.

You follow him to the counter, your eyes trailing over at least thirty different custard flavors—not only that, but there’s twice as many toppings. How are you supposed to choose?

“You know what you want already?” You ask as Austin rolls up the sleeves of his jean jacket a little.

“I always know what I want.” He leans on the counter, turning towards the woman at the register to order French vanilla—but stops when you make a noise. He looks at you over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow. “Somethin’ you wanna share?”

You purse your lips and rocks back onto your heels, shaking your head, “No I just…vanilla, really? You don’t seem like the type.” She teases.

Austin smirks, straightening his back. “Oh, huh.” He motions to the large display menu. “Put your money where your mouth is, baby. What should I order?”

You let the pet name slide (and it does, like heated molasses right down in your veins), which is probably a dangerous slippery slope, but you’re too busy trying to take in a custard selection at the moment to care. You chew on your lower lip, slipping through the flavors written in chalk on the board and decides to go with your favorite pairing—

“He’ll have chocolate and strawberry custard in that waffle sandwich thing with…” You hum, “Caramel sauce and chocolate sprinkles.” You smile, clearly happy with your selection before ordering the same for yourself…except you also get chocolate sauce and whipped cream.

Because why the hell not?

“You’re gonna have that all over you before the night is over.” Austin motions to the dripping mess in your hands, carefully shelled between fresh waffles wrapped up in foil.

You slide yourself onto the hood of Austin’s car, almost sliding back down but managing to lean against the windshield before losing your custard sandwich.

“Challenge accepted.”

Austin smiles a little, sitting down next to you, looking far too handsome sprawled out on his car.

You realize that everything between you both is so dangerous, wrapped in gentle dynamite, the softest breath or touch capable of explosion. But it’s also tantalizing in a way that excites you—Austin is different, gentle but rough with the walls he keeps up.

Everything about this is a lie –circles in your head, over and over, trying to remind you not to take anything too seriously. And yet? You bury it deep with a bite of your custard sandwich. You moan softly and lick chocolate off your lips because Jesus, this is incredible.

Austin smirks, licking custard between the waffle before he takes a bite of his own. “Told you it was worth the stop.”

“I’m not going to admit you somehow know all just because you have decent taste in custard.” You smile and takes another bite of your waffle sandwich, leaning back to watch cars drive by.

“Give it time.” Austin glances over and you can feel his gaze, always like a magnet tracing the curves of your body. You want to tell him that you enjoy when he looks at you like that, to be felt and seen all at the same time, but you don’t want to give him the satisfaction.

You wonder if he looks at every woman who’s ever paid him like that.

You’re not sure you want to know.

You turn and meet his gaze, holding it for a moment before a small smile graces your lips. “Do you really work at a café?”

He nods, leaning further up against the windshield. “It’s called Mug Half Full; been there about three years.” He licks his lips, pulling a napkin from his pants pocket and wiping his chin where he feels caramel sticking. “What do you do? You didn’t mention it in your email.”

You swallow down a bought of self-loathing at the question and decide to take another bite of your sandwich; sweet hiding sour. “I uh, I’m kinda in-between jobs at the moment.” You know Austin has to be able to see through that terrible excuse of an answer. “I’m currently getting an online degree in education.”

Austin finishes his custard waffle, which is admirable because yours is two seconds away from becoming soup in your hands. You lick at the sides as he crumples up a napkin and puts his trash in a can nearby so it’s not in either of your way.

“What do you want to do?”

The question shouldn’t offend you as much as it does, the want and need to defend yourself raising your hackles a bit. You bite down on reacting too sorely; he’s just asking a question—and you realize you haven’t given him a reason not to ask something like that. Your bland response is what prompts the statement.

You suppose you’re just…too used to people asking that, especially since society makes you feel like you somehow got a late start in figuring things out. In reality, it’s never too early or too late to be whoever you want. You’re just…getting to that.

You clear your throat, setting your custard sandwich down on your lap a moment, the foil protecting your clothes. “I have no idea,” You admit with a soft laugh, “My relationship with my ex kinda took all my energy—supporting whatever he needed, you know? Now I’m just starting to figure myself out.” And you’re proud of that progress, even though it feels like pushing a boulder up a hill sometimes. “I might teach maybe, one day.”

He holds your gaze for a moment, slight amusement dancing in the corners of his eyes. He smiles gently, looking down at your hands before he picks up your sandwich and licks whipped cream off the corner. Ridiculously obscene and unnecessary but you let him do it anyways.

You have apparently become accustomed to sharing things—you’ve noticed that he continues the ruse of soft touches and intimate gestures when no one’s watching. You think it’s to help solidify the fact that you’re supposed to be dating, supposed to be into one another. Which isn’t very hard when he does things like that with his tongue.

Austin tosses your trash like he did with his own before turning to look at you, handing you a napkin to wipe your hands off. “I could tell you wanted more. And you know, there’s nothin’ wrong with that.”

Then why does it feel so guilty for you to admit— “Sometimes it feels selfish, to want things for myself.” You swallow, letting it sink into the air. You’ve never told anyone that before, not even your best friend or your parents.

“Sounds like someone really selfish made you feel that way.” He says gently and it’s like…wool has been taken off your eyes. Something you maybe knew but needed to hear.

It’s not what you expect him to say, not in the slightest, but it warms you from the inside out either way. You nod because yes, you’ve never thought about it like that but yes, that’s it exactly. Realizing that taking care of yourself is one of the best things you can do—knowing yourself and that you deserve to want, that it’s normal, even.

Austin hums softly, moving to slip off the car. You swing your legs around and when he offers you his hand, you take it to slide off as well.

How easy it would be to lean up and kiss him, how he’d probably taste like hints of chocolate and strawberry. You wait for him to let you go, for his hand to stop holding yours. But he doesn’t.

You lick your own lips, your eyes looking to his lower one, how it pouts out gently when he looks at you—and you decide to stop waiting for things you want. If you’re going to pay for his company, you might as well enjoy it.

You press your lips into his own, capturing something sweet, lips moving together like you both were always made to kiss. Austin’s one hand moves to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing your hair back around your ear before eventually pulling back. You’re breathing a little shakily, your noses brushing, Austin taking his time to trace your cheekbone with his lips before he opens up the car door for you.

“You’re not charging me extra for the gentleman treatment, are you?” Or for the kisses I keep stealing?

Austin smiles, a soft laugh leaving his throat as he waits for you to put your seatbelt on. “Not yet.” And closes the door with a wink.

You think about canceling six times between when you wake up on the day of the wedding to the moment you slide your dress over your head. You’ve told yourself that this was and continues to be a terrible idea and if you hadn’t paid him half up front through a cash app, you’d have the nerve to tell him never mind. Kisses and all, you really feel like you’re starting to lose your damn mind.

Though you know even if you told Austin to forget the whole thing, you still have to go to this wedding. (You could probably skip it no big deal, but the last thing you want is Todd to assume you’re bothered either). Canceling now would definitely mean going alone and you can’t stomach it, not when you feel like all of your insides are already in knots.

You smooth your hands down the front of your dress as you hear the doorbell, taking the steps downstairs carefully in your gold heels. You’ve settled for a navy-blue number that shows just enough cleavage and is ruffled at your middle, hugging curves and kissing your skin beautifully. You feel confident and comfortable, which is important for a long night.

You sigh, glancing at your front door for a moment before turning the knob and opening up to see Austin. He’s standing in a suit, beautifully polished, hair perfectly coifed on his head. A navy button-down underneath a gray suit jacket, tie to match with a red spidery design that reminds you of tree branches in the winter.

A crinkle appears between Austin’s eyebrows because, “Why are you shakin’ your head?” He asks as he steps over the threshold and you close the door.

“I just naturally assumed you were going to show up in black. Black in your profile picture that finally loaded, black at the bar… I thought that was the only shade you owned.”

He runs a hand lightly over his chest. “Grays in the same shade family.” He’s joking but you’re not laughing and finally he just throws his hands up a little, “What’s the big deal?”

“Because we match.”

Austin looks down at himself and pauses, doesn’t get it, gives you a look that makes you feel a little crazy. “That a bad thing?”

“It’s—” No, it’s not exactly a terrible idea but it somehow digs under your skin because you want today to be perfect and Austin is supposed to be your boyfriend and you can’t be that couple that goes all matchy-matchy to events, right?

What are the odds that he shows up in something that is the exact same color as your damn dress?

“It’s too perfect, it’s not believable.” You say and he raises his eyebrows because that does not make one lick of sense. He takes a step towards you and you mirror one back, shaking your head.

Austin lets out a slow breath because you’re nitpicking and it annoys him, a flare of impatience decorating his handsome face. “Well I don’t exactly got another suit in my back pocket and we’re already late.”

You narrows your eyes, “Just…follow me. I’ll change.”

You’re up the stairs and in your bedroom before you realize what you’ve said, Austin slipping in behind you and looking around the room, drinking you in with permission you’ve accidently given him. You turn suddenly and slip off your heels, pressing one hand to his chest to stop him.

“Don’t move.”

He smiles a little and nods his head, sticking his hands in his pockets as he watches you slide into your walk-in closet to change. You sigh softly and run a hand over your forehead before you take a moment to unzip your dress and glance at your options.

“A lot of beige.”

You roll your eyes and pull out a black dress, quickly pulling it on and kicking your navy blue one to the side before stepping out of your closet. You don’t bother to zip it up until you make sure it’s the right one.

Austin has dutifully not moved from the spot on the carpet where you’ve left him and he scrunches his nose at your dress, “You goin’ to a wake?”

“What’s wrong with beige?” You glance around your bedroom; at the little accents you’ve added that have color to them. Some shades of coffee colored brown and touches of teal here and there. It’s minimalist but tasteful.

“It’s just not what I pictured.”

“You pictured my bedroom?” You ask, but the corners of your mouth pull slightly as you put your hands on your hips.

Austin tilts his head at you, eyes traveling over your body in an unashamed way. “Maybe.” He pauses for a moment to let that sink into your pores. “You don’t seem like a beige. Also, no to that dress. I can maybe get you not wantin’ to match completely but that doesn’t line up with what I got on at all.”

You nod and turn to go back into your closet, pulling the dress off and standing far too long in your underwear trying to decide on a color range. You could go gold…but that feels too flashy, gray is out of the question and so is another navy dress so…

You finger red fabric for a moment that matches the scarlet on Austin’s tie and pull it off the hanger.

“I’m not actually that fond of beige,” You admit over your shoulder as you pull the dress up—it’s a fit and flare that kind of reminds you of the sixties. Something that hugs your waist with a high-neck tanked top and flares out like a wide flame at the bottom. It hits just below your knees and your gold heels will still go nicely with it.

“But the house kinda came this way and…I never took the time to fix it.” You walk out of the closet, pulling your hair free from underneath. “Todd didn’t like bold colors anyways.”

Austin’s eyes descend on you like a cold rush of water, a wave crashing down onto your shores. He stares for what feels like a long time, his hands coming out of his pockets like he wants to touch but can’t—too far away. You smile softly as his gaze sticks, he’s captivated by the dress, and you notice he has to shake his head as you approach to be able to speak to you.

“So I’m guessin’ he’s not gonna like this.” He reaches to touch your waist, fingers pressing warmly into the fabric.

You chew on the inside of your cheek a moment, looking up at him. “Do you like it?”

He smirks gently, pulling on your elbow to turn you around. He doesn’t reply but you feel suddenly naked under his gaze as your bare back is exposed to him. He takes his time finding the zipper and slowly draws it up into place, fixing the little hook at the top. His hands rest against your shoulders and guide down, squeezing your arms before letting you go.

“Get your shoes. We’re already late.”

You let out a long sigh that somehow turns into a pout, making him smile, “We could stay here, you could give more wisecracks about my bedroom decorum.”

Austin smirks and grabs your purse from where it’s seated on the bed as you slip your heels back on. “As amazing as that sounds, that’s not what you’re payin’ me for.”

And the words sound sour, swallowing them down, nodding your head as you leave the bedroom with him.

The wedding itself isn’t actually terrible—it’s beautiful in a way that would make any woman envious. Lots of flowers and gold designs and as you watch the entire ceremony take place, you have moments where you wonder why you’re here. Was it really that important for you to show up? And not only that, but pay a date to be here? You keep going back and forth, like a serious game of tug-of-war.

Why did it matter if you showed up alone? Or with Jill?

Austin helps you with your coat, his hand on your lower back as you walk out of the church and towards the reception hall which is being held in this beautiful botanical garden that has rooms you can rent for things like this.

People begin to pile into the building, pausing at the coat check before heading into the reception all, and it’s right there that you suddenly feel like bolting. Truth is? Todd was your boyfriend for years before your breakup (a breakup that might have never happened if you hadn’t realized he was cheating, because clearly he hadn’t taken the initiative until it was too late). And it’s probably so stupid that you remained friends with him, that you were invited to this wedding, that you for some reason care about what he thinks—even now.

But you do.

You should have just moved on and thrown the wedding invitation in the trash but…feelings don’t always come in black and white. You constantly live in a shade of gray.

And you’re worried someone is going to see right through you tonight.

Austin squeezes your hand, getting your attention as you remain grounded by the coat check. He’s patient, waiting until your gaze meets his own. “You’re shakin’.” His other hand covers the one he’s already holding.

You nod your head and offer a smile you don’t feel. “I thought this would be easy. Having you here as a distraction, smiling at all the right times and drinking too much wine in a nice dress,” You shrug your one shoulder, “It doesn’t change how I feel.”

Despite the small amount of privacy the coat check wall provides, you can feel eyes on you two from different parts of the room; people slipping past to get a glass of champagne from the cash bar, fluttering in-between hors d'oeuvres tables and congratulating the couple. Guests who know who you are, who are whispering about you. You can hear Todd a few feet away; big laughs and too loud discussions that tell you he’s a little drunk but genuinely happy.

Or maybe this is all in your head.

“Look, I think you were gonna feel this way no matter if you came alone or with someone.” He runs his thumb over your knuckles. “But you can still do all the other things you mentioned,” Austin leans in, brushes his lips over your cheekbone as he talks, “Drink too much wine in a beautiful dress and smilin’ definitely doesn’t hurt.”

He pulls back and you lick your lips, wanting nothing more than to lean up and kiss him again. To feel his arms wrap around you and pull you close, back outside, to his car, away from this place where you feel like you have to be someone you’re not.

Austin grasps your chin between his pointer finger and thumb, waiting until your eyes meets his own again. He leans forward to brush your lips together, gently, more to distract you than anything else because it’s not a kiss.

“Women hire me because they want to feel wanted and if that’s what you need to hear, then fine, I do want you, Y/N.” You let out a breath that sounds too shaky for your own good, your knees slightly buckling. All the other gazes you once felt on you fade away, until it’s only you and Austin in an empty botanical garden.

“But hearin’ that doesn’t matter until you want things for yourself. You want someone to believe in you? You want to feel confident? Wanted?” His hand falls to your waist, “Good enough?”

You swallow thickly, his words reaching something that’s still raw inside of you, that still hurts to think about. You want to pull away, nearly do, but instead surrender to his weight against you. It’s not his fault that he does a better job of reading you than you do looking in a mirror.

“Then it has to come from you first.”

You shake your head as he pulls away, his hand very simply returning to yours as you both move towards the cash bar. “I know you think you know me from a few meetings and a detailed email request. But you don’t.” Your words at least sound stronger than you feel.

Austin looks at you over his shoulder and smiles but says nothing in return.

Maybe the problem is, he does know you, even from the simplest interactions. Maybe you’re just not used to being seen. Todd never saw you, even when you gave him so many chances to try. You suppose at that point you need to want to try.

You’re seated at a table that has mostly co-workers and friends and you attempt not to cringe when someone asks you how you know the bride and groom. Austin swoops in and responds that they’re friends, his arm stretched out over the back of your chair. You’re grateful because the words we dated are sitting in your throat like a lump, difficult to swallow over.

The night spins forward, you’re able to avoid the bride and groom for the duration of it, just enjoying food and a little bit too much wine and hanging out with Austin. There are long conversations where you get to know one another, fill one another in about things that are real, beyond the layers of this fake-date situation.

It’s nice, seeing him in that light, getting to know him as if you’d bumped into him at a bar and enjoyed his company.

You almost wish that was the case, instead.

His arm squeezes around your waist as you both dance on the dance floor, his jacket on the back of his chair, dress shirt rolled up to his elbows. You’re definitely a little tipsy, the room is rose-colored, but all in all? It feels like a crisis has been avoided, you’re actually having a good time.

“Can I get you another glass of wine?” Austin asks, brushing his lips over your forehead, “Maybe some cookies from the dessert table?”

You grin, “You know me so well.” And it’s not a line, somehow, you’ve been craving cookies for the past half hour.

Austin smiles, nods, squeezes your waist and leaves you to do just that. You somehow ache with missing the heat of his body once he’s gone—and that’s how you know you’re slightly in over your head. You have to keep reminding yourself that none of this is real—the way Austin talks to you or looks at you, the way his hands travel over your body, the slight brush of his lips against your own.

It's all a lie.

A lie that you paid for.

Running a hand over your forehead, you turn and nearly bump into someone, blinking as you look up and—

“Todd.”

Your ex smiles, “Hey—I’m so glad you came, I wasn’t sure if you would.”

Neither was I, “What can I say? I’m full of surprises.” Chewing on your lower lip, you’re struck with being unsure of what to say, scanning the crowd for Austin before clearing your throat, “Uhm, everything has been beautiful.”

Todd smiles, nodding, taking a look around for his bride. “Thank you. Are you uh, here with Jill?”

You open and close your mouth like a goldfish until you feel that familiar arm slide around you. “No this is Austin,” You take the glass of wine and have a hearty sip and it instantly makes your head spin.

Todd clears his throat and even though he’s smiling, it’s clear he’s giving Austin a once-over. He did not expect you to be here with someone. “I didn’t know you were bringing a friend that wasn’t Jill.” He kinda laughs, like maybe it’s a joke that you don’t have many other close friends other than her.

But Austin is quick to smile, “Actually, I’m her boyfriend.”

And there it is, the look on Todd’s face that you were after this whole time. It’s quick, gone almost as soon as it appears, but lingers in his eyes. Regret, maybe even jealousy. Even though his wife appears by his side and introductions are exchanged.

Luckily the conversation doesn’t last very long, the bride and groom are swept towards other people, more dancing. Which is good because you’re pretty sure you noticed that the bride couldn’t keep her eyes off of Austin.

What a couple her and Todd make.

Downing the rest of the wine, you set it on the table, letting out a slow breath. Austin keeps his hands firm on your hips and you can’t quite meet his eyes. You’re not quite sure how…this wasn’t what you expected, nor wanted.

Just feels like a big mistake.

“Wanna get out of here?” He asks quietly, seeming to read your mind.

You nod and he keeps his arm around you until you make it outside and reach his car.

That last glass of wine did you zero favors and by the time you make it to your front door, you’re dropping your keys instead of sliding them into the lock. Austin smiles a little, picking them up and unlocking everything, pushing the door open. You’ve got a firm hand on his shirt because you’re swaying slightly, almost a little afraid of what might happen if you let go.

What if all of this is one weird dream?

“Where are we going?” You ask as he comes inside, closing the door behind him.

“Water n’bed.” Austin replies as he guides you into the living room.

You scrunch your nose and look to the ceiling, definitely knocking yourself off balance as the room spins. Austin lets out a short grunt as he catches you, steadying you against his chest.

“In that order? That’s so boring.”

He chuckles slightly, guiding you both until he has you in front of the couch, encouraging you to sit. “You got somethin’ else you’d rather do?”

You can’t help but grin at the question, poking at his chest. “I think you know what I’d rather like to do.” It’s like hot lava pouring from your lips, you can’t seem to stop it even though you know you’ll have burns later.

Austin hums under his breath but doesn’t respond, concentrates instead on keeping you on the couch once you’re seated.

“Stay there,” He says when you try to get up, holding onto your shoulders and pressing you gently down. “You good or you gonna slip off?” There’s an amused smile pulling handsomely at his lips as he tilts his head down to look at you, slipping his thumb and forefinger along your chin.

“Good, I’m so good.” You nod, determined to give him responses that make sense. You just wish the room would stop spinning.

Only when he feels like you mean it does he pull away from you. You closes your eyes as your fingers grip the cushion, trying to hold yourself in place. None of this really helps and instead you just end up feeling nauseas, forcing your eyes to open so you can see Austin.

He’s taken his jacket off, tie gone and shirt unbuttoned a bit, and seeing his chest and forearms makes heat unwantedly pool between your legs and you lick your lips, trying to focus on what he has in his hands.

“He…he honestly didn’t think I’d be there with anyone.”

A crinkle appears between Austin’s eyebrows and he pauses, “What?”

You swallow, not sure if your trail of thought makes sense. “Todd. Jerk.” You give as an explanation.

Something passes over Austin’s face but it’s gone as soon as it appears and he crouches in front of you, his one hand slipping over your knee a moment, “Do you actually care what he thinks?”

You hold his gaze for a long moment before shaking your head. He hums softly, squeezing, his thumb between your thighs and it’s really too distracting.

“Then fuck him; neither of those two seemed like they should be giving relationship advice.”

You giggle something ridiculous and cover your face with your hand a moment, glad you were able to make sense of all that even though you probably didn’t need to bring it up.

“You got anythin’ like a long t-shirt?” He changes the subject as he makes a motion to go upstairs. “I don’t think I’m gonna be able to get pants on you.”

You huff out a sound and rub a hand over your face, most likely smearing makeup in the worst way. “That’s alright, I like bein’ pantless.” You reach over and is happy you don’t tumble, using one hand to hold onto his shoulder to get his attention. “Upstairs, first drawer on the right.”

He’s back and forth quickly; makes you wonder how long you’ve actually been sitting there.

Him undressing you is a blur; you note that he does his best to dip his gaze when he can to give you a little privacy. Just enough that you can figure out that your head doesn’t go into one of the arm holes and assists when you starts whining that you can’t get it right. You throw your wedding dress aside and kicks off your heels, letting out a soft huff when Austin disappears into the kitchen.

He comes back with a warm washcloth that smells like lilac soap and he waits until your gaze focuses on him before he asks whether you can do this yourself.

You nod a little absently, taking the washcloth from him and wiping your makeup off before handing it back to him. You pull as many bobbypins as you can find from your hair and toss them onto the coffee table, pulling your strands back up into a bun before collapsing face first into the couch.

You barely feel the couch dip as you smush your face into a pillow, blankets being draped over your shoulders.

When you wake up, you don’t automatically remember where you are.

You lift your head and groan softly, pinching your eyes with your thumb and forefinger trying to get the pounding to stop. There’s a soft blue light casting shadows on the walls of the living room and oh, that’s right, you’re home. Austin brought you home last night.

You swallow and nearly sit up too fast, leaning up on your elbows because oh, oh fuck, now you remember. A wave of nausea crashes down on you for moving and you flutter your eyes closed briefly and hope that helps. When you feels confident enough to fix your gaze on something other than the inside of your eyelids, you turn to look at Austin who’s sitting up in one of the lounge chairs nearby against a few pillows, watching TV.

He didn’t leave. He stayed with you the entire night.

The sound from the TV isn’t loud enough to be heard but you can tell he does this often, eyes on the screen, just absorbing the images that flicker to life. His head dips to look over at you when you move; he looks tired. You really hope he didn’t sit up to just…keep an eye on you, making sure you slept alright.

You clear your throat, the sound scratchy and dry regardless of your trying, “Am I dead?”

Austin smirks a little and stands to come and sit by your legs, handing you a glass of water that’s on the coffee table. “Here. You passed out before I could get you to drink any.”

You sigh softly and close your eyes, moving to sit up further and is glad to see the room isn’t spinning anymore. “Lovely.” You drink deeply after a few tentative sips to make sure you can keep it down.

“You stayed.”

“I did.” Austin’s quiet for a few moments, playing with the corners of one of the blankets. Clearly he’s not going to elaborate. “You got a headache?”

You hum an affirmative response but it’s nothing water and Advil can’t cure. You lean your head back against the headboard, closing your eyes again for a few moments to avoid the blue light spilling into the room from the TV. You give yourself some time to sip your water before you open them again, setting the glass down on the table. There’s cookies there too, from last night. Austin kept them.

You sense embarrassment licking at your nerve endings, feeling a little ridiculous for your behavior. You should really know better than to let yourself go like that, especially since it doesn’t take too many glasses of wine in a row for it to happen.

“Sober?” He asks and there’s a tilt to his voice that you don’t like, far too amused.

You groan and turn your head to look at him, trying to muster up a glare that doesn’t stick. “Unfortunately.” You rake your fingers through your hair, trying to not even think about what you might look like.

You’re just glad you didn’t vomit.

A deep breath settles in and out of your lungs before you turn your head to look at Austin, the light of the TV casting beautiful shadows on his face. Your eyes skitter over the scruff beginning on his jawline and your fingers itch to follow. You clear your throat, getting his attention, and he turns his head to look at you.

“I’m sorry for getting plastered.” You smile a little because he does; that same amusement back on his face, though it doesn’t bother you this time around. “I’m shocked that you do weddings.”

You allow yourself to laugh a little, shaking your head like it’ll somehow clear the fuzzy memories of him bringing you back to your home, tripping over yourself. You regret the way you’ve carried yourself, but a tiny part of you is glad you decided to let yourself go, to enjoy the open bar and let your emotions run a little rampant for once.

You’re so used to keeping everything inside, to holding it all in. For once you didn’t.

Austin’s chewing on words he’s not saying, you can see the hesitance in his expression, wanting to say something but unsure if he should. You wait, don’t press, and eventually,

“Admittedly, I haven’t done a wedding in a while.” He shakes his head, “Because they tend to be messy in a way that I never expect.”

You wince, rubbing the back of your neck because…clearly you hadn’t planned on making a fool out of yourself but Austin quickly continues to explain,

“I don’t mean you.” He turns a bit to lean against the couch, his shoulder pressed along the cushions. Austin licks his lips, his eyes tracing your jawline and lips, slipping down your neck and collarbone enough to make you shiver.

“In your request, you said somethin’ like, ‘I don’t want my ex to feel like he’s taken something from me. Something that’s mine and will always be mine’.”

You search his eyes for a moment and when his finally meet yours, something warm and aching starts in your chest, blooming outward like a flower only meant to grow at night. You swallow thickly, “You remember that?” Because you kinda…bared you soul in that request for a date service. You hadn’t meant to come across so desperate but…you were also just being honest.

“I have a very good memory,” He attempts to wave this off, and you want to tell him not to—that what he’s saying matters. Austin’s seeing you, over walls you didn’t realize you had up after all this time.

“You said kind of implied that you wanted Todd to regret cheating on you, but I think you really meant that you wanted him to see that he didn’t break you.” He licks his lips and trails his pinky finger along your jawline as he curls loose hair behind your ear. “I’ve met a lot of women in similar situations, and not all of them have handled it like you.”

A laugh slips out of your throat, something you can’t stop. You’re trying to break the tension gathering in the room, something heavy and thick like warm cotton settling over both of you. Handled it? You haven’t exactly done that well, have you? If last night is any indication.

“What, they didn’t hire a male escort and get piss drunk?”

He smiles gently, shaking his head. “They let their exes break them because they couldn’t figure out who they were without them.”

The warmth in your chest threatens to burst and you wish for a moment that you could see yourself the way Austin does, so clearly, like everything is laid out before him, all he has to do is read.

“But not you.” It barely leaves his mouth before you close the distance between them.

The heat erupts in a single kiss, both of Austin’s hands tangling themselves in your hair, pulling it loose from your haphazard bun. He kisses you like you’ve always wanted to be kissed, even though you hadn’t realized it was something that was missing until now.

He inches you forward, forcing you to move until you’re straddling his waist, blankets getting caught and tangled in-between. Anything that’s been building up suddenly releases into you both, like a wave crashing, heated breaths against skin and not being able to get close enough. Austin tugs off your long t-shirt and a shiver travels down your skin as you reach up and automatically unclasp your bra.

You sit there for a moment, almost in the wake of realizing what you’ve done, and you watch Austin’s gaze. His eyes drink you in, hands still on your waist, trailing up your sides, thumb slipping underneath one of your breasts to press against your ribcage. The touch is intimate enough to cause something sharp in your throat, thick swallowing for it to disappear. You lean forward, presses your foreheads together and you kiss again.

You’re fumbling to get blankets down, to move everything out of your way and Austin flips your positions, easing you down onto your back along the cushions. He rifles for something in his suit jacket that’s nearby while you slip your hips up to slide your underwear down and off and away. He’s got too many layers on and you itch to immediately remove his shirt when he’s overtop of you again.

Toned skin greets you and you can’t help but touch, sink your fingers in, drag your nails. The noises that leave Austin’s throat are enough to single handedly build the heat beginning in your lower belly, something you don’t think you ever want to stop hearing. He moves only long enough to take his pants off, tossing them to the side, and he holds your gaze—

He waits.

You swallow and know this is such a bad idea, that nothing good can come from this. But wasn’t it Austin who urged you to figure out what you want? You want to feel confident? Wanted? Good enough?

Then it has to come from you first.

There’s a half-nod in Austin’s direction before he’s slipping a hand down between you, to put a condom on but also—

You moan, rolling your hips as you feel his fingers slide against you, inside of you. He teases, rolls flesh between his thumb and forefinger, lips falling to your neck to leave kisses that eventually find your mouth again.

He takes his time even though you wish he wouldn’t, building you up and letting you down easy before pressing inside. You gasp and your back arches, hips rolling forward, Austin leaning down to capture your mouth again, to absorb your sounds. You wrap your legs around him, which makes moving a little difficult, but you don’t want him to move too far away, want to constantly feel him—keep you both connected.

Austin nips at your lower lip with his own, not taking you long to build up what you’ve started. Pleasure circles in your veins, pulling you towards an end that you doesn’t want to reach yet. He doesn’t stop, keeps moving his hips forward at a quickening pace and you dig your nails into his back.

You barely have time to warn him before you’re cumming, though because your bodies are molded together, you think he already knows—probably knew before you did. He grunts as he loses himself in you, his face falling to your neck, gentle panting and lazy kissing.

You tilt your head back so your throat is exposed, your hands slipping down his back and settling on his waist, his skin a little slick to the touch. He lays there for a long few moments and you take one another in, his chest pressing into your own as you both breathe.

He pulls back too soon for your liking, but you don’t have the energy to tell him to stop. Austin cleans himself up, slipping onto the couch again, this time behind you, and pulls you close. You turn on your side, blankets coming up over your shoulder as you puzzle-piece both of you together, your face hiding in his neck, already falling asleep.

Austin says nothing, which is fine with you, he doesn’t need to say anything. His lips find your shoulder, a few kisses here and there, hands intertwining in your hair.

You finally figure out what you want—

and you want this. You want him.

You wake up before Austin does, pulling yourself from the couch and disappearing into the bathroom near the kitchen. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you kinda shake your head before drawing up Jill’s text messages on your phone.

Y/N: I think I messed up.

You wash your face and feel a little more human, sitting down on the closed toilet seat as she pings you back.

Jill: oh no, what happened? Jill: please tell me Austin didn’t turn out to be a serial killer

You laugh, your hand covering your mouth. Jesus. A small, hysterical part of you wonders if that’d be easier to deal with.

Y/N: the wedding went fine, he brought me back home, stayed the night Y/N: may or may not have had sex with him on my couch this morning??

Jill instantly tries to call you and you press the red button—you can’t talk to her when he’s still here.

Y/N: I can’t, he’s still here

Jill: !!!!!! Jill: girl omg— Jill: how was it? 😉

Running a hand over your face, you wonder if you should have ever said anything. Then again, there’s this small smile tugging the corners of your mouth. In general, you know that there’s nothing wrong with what you’ve done—both of you are consenting adults. But then there’s this whole other layer of…paying him to be your date. It’s not like you paid him for sex or anything but…

You kinda can’t help but wonder how many jobs he takes that end up like this.

Y/N: it was perfect but that’s not the point

Jill: so what is the point?

You sigh softly, tapping on your cash app and just…wondering. So many insecurities and questions and wonderings wrapping around you like a blanket, except it’s far too tight, suffocating almost. Taking in a breath, you set your phone down on the counter, looking up when there’s a knock on the bathroom door.

“Y/N?” Austin asks, “You alright?”

Reaching over to grasp the knob, you open the door with a soft smile, “Yeah.”

Austin looks ridiculously adorable slept on. His hair is slightly askew, skin looking warm, a soft, tired look in his eyes. God, you can’t believe he’s been here for so long in these wedding clothes, back in his slacks and a white undershirt.

“I uh,” He clears his throat, “M’gonna head home. Shower, change. But…”

You lick your lips, your stomach flip-flopping with eagerness.

“I was thinkin’ I could come back later; we could talk?”

God, talking sounds like such a great idea. Not to mention you could shower too, put yourself together, feel more like someone capable of having a serious conversation. So you nod with a soft smile—that sounds perfect.

And then—

You can pinpoint the exact moment that Austin glances to the sink and sees the cash app open because his expression changes, like a shadow passing over but instead of dissipating—it stays, darkening the color of his eyes. A breath catches in your throat as you straighten your shoulders, words on your lips and stuck on your tongue. Nothing comes out.

His gaze flickers up from the phone to your eyes and what you see there is like a cold bucket of ice water, anger but…deeper, it’s—

“Not what it looks like.” You finally say, breaking the tension into pieces with a hammer.

Austin hums, nodding his head and licking his lips. He’s trying very hard to speak without sounding annoyed, “What’s it like then?” He asks, the words daggered. “Cause it looks like you were about to pay me for services rendered.”

You shake your head and stand from the toilet on wobbly knees. Austin takes a step back from you, almost like a caged animal, getting ready to bolt. And then you realize, right, he’s not angry, he’s hurt.

“No—”

“Don’t lie to me,” He grounds out, the words chewed on between his teeth.

A shuddered noise leaves your lips because you can tell you’re losing it, this conversation slipping like sand between your fingers. He’s not going to be willing to listen to you if you confirm he’s right, that you had thought about it—if you admit you weren’t sure what you were doing or what sleeping together meant.

You distantly know that this isn’t going to end well, no matter what you say. Austin tore his walls down in front of you, exposed himself, and now he looks like a fool for doing it. Even if it’s on accident, you’ve hurt him, and you’re not sure if you’ll be able to backpedal without looking guilty.

“I thought about it,” You admit after a moment. “I wasn’t…” The last thing you wanted to do was make him feel cheap; you know that this thing started as a transaction but also that something changed last night.

“Nah, it’s good. You were payin’ me to do a job, right?” Austin turns to walk back to the living room, gather up his things. And it’s like…you have no idea what you can possibly say, how you can stop him.

Your legs carry you forward, “Austin, don’t.” You sigh and puts a hand on your lips, suddenly feeling nauseas as he moves too quick for you to stop him.

“Business is business. You can stop feelin’ so guilty,” He straightens his shoulders before grabbing his jacket, slipping it on. Metaphorically it feels like a shield, another layer he’s building back up between them both, shutting you out.

He can’t possibly leave like this, right?

You’re practically stumbling over your own feet as he makes it to the front door, “Please don’t walk away.”

His hand pauses on the doorknob, just for a moment, like he might actually be considering your words. But then he yanks the door open and slams it shut once he’s outside.

You don’t go after him.

Time goes on.

You expect that Austin might reach out to you—to apologize, to start over, or maybe even request the unfulfilled payment that he was supposed to receive after the wedding date. But nothing, it’s radio silent…and you think that’s worse.

You want to reach out to him on your own, but you’re not even sure where to begin. How to apologize for thoughts that are incomplete in your head. How to express emotions that are sitting at the bottom of your ribcage.

You’re just hoping for a chance to apologize and explain yourself, even though you’re not entirely sure you deserve it. Is this really it? Going back to business as usual and pretend they never met one another?

You sigh as you hear a few knocks on your door and hate how it feels like hope, quickly moving from your kitchen to tug it open and see Jill on the other side. You give her a small smile, letting her inside,

“I got your twenty texts, you alright?”

You run a hand over your forehead and shake your head, moving towards the kitchen for Jill to follow. You offer her a cup of coffee, sitting back at the counter with your own. Wrapping your hands around the ceramic, you glance up at your friend,

“I screwed up.”

Jill sighs softly, grabbing a cup for the coffee because clearly, she’s going to need it. “Tell me what happened; your texts were all hysteria and no detail.”

You map out the whole thing from start to finish, the chapel, the reception, the night of, the morning after—your voice drops on intimate details, like somehow you have to keep them exactly that. Intimate.

“Damn, Y/N.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose, “I know…it was an accident.” You swallow. “The money part, anyways.”

She adds a few spoonfuls of sugar to her mug, stirring. “Does tall, blonde and brooding know that?”

You let your hand fall from your face, eyes focusing out the window above the sink at the city sounds and sights. Suddenly a dark blue gaze rekindles in your memory, the hurt there, wounded and refusing to let you past his boundaries again.

“I tried to tell him; he wouldn’t listen.”

Jill hums under her breath a moment and shuffles, “Maybe give him some time? Try him tomorrow.”

Easier said than done, “I don’t even know where he lives. He’s not going to pick up the phone if I try to call him; texts are useless.”

Your friend’s quiet for a few moments, considering—and then a sound leaves her lips and you picture a lightbulb going off on her facial expression. “But you know where he works.”

You stand outside the café that Austin works at for what feels like a long time, staring at the sign and pacing back and forth to your car parked down the street. You really hope no one is watching you because you probably looks crazy; you feel crazy. You can’t just approach this man where he works, can you? You don’t even know if he’s working today.

But it’s…worth a try, right? Like one last shot before you just drop it.

You’re not sure that if the situations were reversed, he’d show up at your front door, so. Or maybe you’re just hoping he would.

So after spending ten minutes contemplating what to do, you finally force yourself to walk up the café door and make your way inside. It’s a hole in the wall but filled to the brim with people at tiny circular tables, waiting in line to place their order with a beautiful blonde cashier and satisfied customers adding sugar and creamer to their coffees at a station to your left.

The heady scent of fresh coffee and baked goods slam into you like a truck, leaving you almost breathless. This place blends in when it should stick out—she wonders if you didn’t know Austin if you’d come in to order an iced coffee just walking by on the street.

Your eyes graze behind the counter until you finally spot him further down, filling baked goods trays in a window that were once empty. A ton of questions hit you at once; did he make those baked goods that are at his fingertips? How does he separate the time between the café and the stand-in job? What are you going to say to him?

Before you can fully approach him, Austin glances up—and spots you.

He’s not happy to see you but he doesn’t look as pissed off as the last time you saw him, so, you consider that progress. You swallow as you walk towards the counter and your hand settles on the top of the glass, the lights above the pastries warming your palm.

“Hi.” That’s it? That’s all you can say? This conversation is going to be just as painful as the last one.

Austin doesn’t have a chance to open his mouth because another worker, a blonde girl, rushes to the counter because she must be on register, “Hi,” She smiles, bright, “We have orange scones on sale today. What can I get you?”

You smile gently at her, glancing at Austin and wondering if he’s going to step in or just…continue not saying anything to you. You suppose you don’t blame him.

“I’ll uhm, take a hazelnut latte and one of those scones,” You nod, reaching for your wallet in your purse, “Thank you.”

“I got the rest of this, Chloe,” Austin steps in as you stick your card into the reader. “Thanks.” He watches her go before turning his attention back to you, customers passing by and receiving orders that he’s already packed at the end of the counter. He hands over your receipt.

“You stalkin’ me now?” He asks but he’s not amused, drumming his fingers on top of the counter.

You let out a slow breath and he moves to fill your order, working the espresso machine with practiced ease, “You won’t text me back.”

“Maybe that’s cause I didn’t wanna talk to you,” He says pointedly before motioning towards your right, “You skipped the line.”

“I didn’t want to order anything, I just wanted to talk.”

He smirks but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes and he grabs an orange scone, wrapping it in a napkin. “Look at you, really learned how to be honest about what you want.”

“You taught me how.” You insist, trying to catch his gaze. When you finally do, you hold it there, trying to will him to listen to you—because you’re not grasping at straws, meeting him, spending time with him…being with him really taught you about parts of yourself that were missing.

Or maybe not missing, exactly, but lying dormant.

“I just want five minutes of your time, please, then I’ll leave you won’t hear from me again.”

Austin lets out a long patient sigh with a shake of his head, something between aggravation mixed with a touch of being impressed—you’re persistent, at least. He’s going to hear you out and suddenly all the words mix in a blender and sink to the bottom of your ribs; you’re almost unsure of how to put this but all you can do is try.

“You’ve been right since we first met; I didn’t know how to want things for myself even though I expected so much out of other people.”

You chew on your lower lip a moment, eyes tracing over the handsome lines of his face—now was not the time to get distracted.

“This whole thing caught me off guard, I wasn’t prepared to want you…and not just as my stand-in date, but you.”

He doesn’t hold your gaze and maybe that’s okay, he busies himself with getting other people orders, keeping the line moving but you can tell he’s still listening to you. He’s still intent on hearing you through…even though you’re almost certain it’s not going to make a difference.

You can tell by his expression, by those walls remaining firm; they’re not budging for you.

Not again.

“The money thing was a mistake. You were right, I did open up my app and think about it because I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what this thing was or if I was…imaging how I felt. So I fucked up but…so did you for not sticking around and talking to me.”

Austin’s shoulders straighten; he doesn’t appreciate you calling him out. A rod appears up his spine, his posture almost towering despite the glass case between them.

“I just…that’s it,” You swallow, your thumb running over the scone in your one hand and picking up your finished latte with another. “That’s all I wanted to say. Sorry for disrupting your work.”

You turn quickly, can’t take the look in his eyes anymore, the bustle of other people around you. You’ve said what you needed to—you should feel more complete than before, right? Because at least he knows your side of things.

It’s his turn.

You push the door open, the welcome bell dinging after you as you leave.

He doesn’t come after you.

You try to shake your head as Jill orders another shot, but can’t quite stop her because the woman has a mind of her own when it comes to having a good time.

“No,” You crinkle your nose.

Jill laughs, “Oh come on—one more. You’re not calling it early already, are you? We can get fries after this.”

You sigh, a bit dramatically, but how can you turn down fries? “Fine.” You shake your head, running a hand over your face as you sit at the counter of your frequent bar, “I’ll be back though.”

You slide off the barstool, motioning she should save your seat as you put your purse on it. She grins, cups your cheeks with her hands and plants a kiss on your forehead. You shoo her off, moving through the crowd to the restroom. Once you’ve used the bathroom and spend a little time with a cold and wet paper towel to the back of your neck, you come back out and nearly run someone over—

And blink because—

“Austin.”

It’s been a few months since you’ve seen him but fuck, he looks just as amazing as he did when you tried to explain yourself in the café. Wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, boots and a white button down, he’s got a leather jacket on as well, just a bit more scruff to his face.

“I was wonderin’ if you were gonna be here.” But it’s…contemplative, thoughtful, like he might have actually planned on trying to find you in the bar where you met.

You feel like the world might be spinning off its axis. “Here I am.”

He smiles a little, glancing over his shoulder and fuck, you wonder if he’s here with someone and—you’re pleasantly surprised that it doesn’t cause some adverse reaction. No punch in your gut that you completely screwed everything up. Time, it seems, does heal some wounds.

Maybe not heal, scar at the very least.

“I saw you post somethin’ on your instastory and I was…well I was hopin’…” He kinda trails off and two thoughts slam into your body like a freight train. One, he sounds…nervous? Which you feel like is very unlike him, given what you’ve been through together. And second? It actually sounds like he knew you were here and he meant to find you on purpose.

“Can we talk?” He asks, “Maybe outside?”

“Yes,” And god, you hope you don’t say that too fast. “Fresh air sounds good.”

As you begin to walk outside with him, you text Jill letting her know where you’re going (and with who). She sends you exactly three text messages in response that you don’t dare look at.

You take in a deep breath in once you get outside, the cool air settling over you like a bucket of cold water. You almost wish you grabbed your jacket from the bar but…dragging Austin over there towards Jill would have been such a bad idea.

It’s fine—the air is refreshing, a bit sobering and this conversation probably won’t last long either way. Taking in a breath, you turn to look at him, a soft smile on your face as you wrap your arms around yourself.

“So…”

Austin clears his throat, “You uh—?” He motions to his jacket and you’re not quite strong enough to deny his offer, so you gently nod your head. Austin slips off his leather jacket and hands it to you and you put it on.

A soft noise of approval leaves your lips as your arms go through the sleeves, a little bit long, feeling perfect though when you zip it up. The lingering scent of his cologne and skin is enough to almost knock you on your knees.

“Thank you.” You whisper, curling your hair around your ear.

You know that Austin is gathering his thoughts, but waiting almost somehow feels worse. You’re just…not sure what to do with yourself other than stare at him, hands stuffed in the pockets of his leather jacket.

“I shouldn’t have left you like that,” He finally says, “At your place?” It’s like the tension start to unwind from your shoulder at that, you almost have to physically swallow over your words so you can let him speak. “Just…felt like what we did, it was real—and—”

“It was real,” You assure him, can’t allow him to think otherwise, “I know this is going to sound cliché but…opening that cash app had everything to do with me, not you. I wasn’t second-guessing what happened.”

Austin gently waves you off, “It’s not your fault, I—I’m so used to things bein’ a business transaction that I just jumped to conclusions.”

You give him a small smile and it feels good? to be on the same page after all this time but…it’s not like, “It’s okay,” You curl your hair around your ear, “I’m not sure where something like this could go. I wouldn’t ask you to quit a job that’s clearly lucrative.”

Austin nods softly, “Well you don’t have to, because I already have.”

You’re not sure why what he says doesn’t register right away, you’re kinda just staring at him, wrapped up in his leather jacket, people passing you both on the sidewalk as you stand outside this bar.

Then you blink, “What?”

He smirks, running a hand through his hair as he nods, “Yeah, I uh—just didn’t want to do it anymore.”

You feel like your brain might be short circuiting, “But about acting? What about L.A.?”

A soft laugh rumbles in his throat, “I can still do L.A. Bein’ an actor isn’t goin’ anywhere.”

And you know that he still has a café job, that he can find other jobs to satisfy what he wants in terms of collecting money but…somehow you’re worried he’s traded one thing in for another. Even though Austin doesn’t look like he has any regrets as he takes a step towards you. His hands gently rest on your arms, sliding down, like he’s waiting for you to push him away.

When you don’t—

“You're not the only one goin' after what they want.”

You can’t stop a small laugh from slipping from your lips and before you can talk yourself out of it, you press yourself up on your toes and kiss him. His arms wrap around you automatically, drawing you closer, his one hand cupping the back of your neck.

It feels like you’re kissing for a long time, or maybe it’s just felt too long since you’ve kissed. Either way, pulling away makes you feel a bit breathless and Austin smiles, pressing your foreheads together for a moment.

It feels like starting over, or maybe even better, a new chapter.

#austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler x you #austin butler fic #elvis 2022 #mccall writes things

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somanyratsinthewalls · 7 months

Note

I know you already said you'd do it... BUT maybe could I request a standalone fic (not a kinktober one) of a Franky x Reader x Robin fic with daddy/mommy kink, sub!virgin!AFAB!reader

idk if you ship frobin though but if you want to feel free to add that in!

YEAH BABY THIS HAS BEEN FLOATING IN MY MIND EVER SINCE I SAW THAT POST!!! I need more Franky Fuckers in my life. I have zero ships in One Piece EXCEPT FROBIN! They are clearly so in love I can't stand it. Here's the fic, I love it.

Sex Education

Pairing: Robin x afab!reader x Franky

TW: threesome, cyborg banging, misuse of devil fruit powers, girl on girl, two girls one guy, fingering, riding, face sitting. porn!

——

“That color is ugly.” Nami comments at the shade of light green you had chosen to paint you toenails.

“Is it really that bad?” You lean back and admire your half painted foot. It shimmered in the sunlight on the deck of the ship.

“Looks like barf.” Nami didn’t look up from her work, carefully painting her own nails a dark shade of pink.

“Well now that you’ve said that, I can’t unthink it. Do you have the polish remover?” You ask.

“I think Robin has it in her room, you can go grab it, puke-toes.” Nami laughed.

You roll your eyes and stand up. You begin to head towards the inside of the ship in search of the nail polish remover. You reach Robin’s bedroom door and grab the handle and open the door. You three girls were best friends at this point, knocking was a moot point.

“Hey, Nami said my toes were ugly so can I just grab the-“

Your eyes immediately meet Robin’s as she gasps. Fully nude, she is seated on Franky’s lap who was also shed of his swim briefs. His huge hands cradled her pale, plump ass. A slight sheen of sweat covered her forehead as her arms wrapped around his massive neck.

“Y/n!” Robin yelps out at you.

“OH my god?! I’m so sorry!” You stutter out and slam the door shut behind you and run back up through the ship. Your mind was racing. Franky and Robin? A thing? I mean… it makes sense the more you think about it… but seeing it first hand was still a bit jarring. Were other people here having sex? Were you the only one who had never done it before? Is this something you were missing out on?

You burst through the door to the deck where Nami was fanning her drying nails.

“Woah where’s the fire, y/n?” Nami asked you, noticing your panicked expression.

“Nami I- I went to get the nail polish remover- and I? I don’t know! The door wasn’t locked! I just went in! And she- and they- they were…!” You were out of breath and couldn’t get out a coherent thought.

“Oh, walked in on Franky and Robin? Yeah they’re like rabbits lately. Good for them, honestly.” Nami went back to fanning her nails.

“Wait… you knew?” You couldn’t believe it.

“Duh? Are you that oblivious? Why do you think they’re always mysteriously absent after dinner? Jeez you need to get laid.” Nami rolled her eyes.

“Wait… are YOU fucking someone!? Is everyone here having sex but me?!” Your eyes bugged out of your head. Were you the only (human) virgin left on this ship? Sure you had urges, but you always just took care of it yourself in the quiet of your own room late at night.

“Not since that last island, no. Nobody on the crew, obviously, pickings are way too slim. I made out with Sanji once when I was wasted but he was such a bad kisser I told him to get fucked. It was all wet and gross.”

“Really he was that bad—? Wait come on, you’re getting laid too? Is everyone else?!” You returned to the point of your questioning.

“I mean yeah, y/n, we all have needs. Except for Zoro… I think there’s something seriously wrong with his brain. Sex is great, especially with someone who knows what they’re doing.” Nami gave you the truth. Maybe it was time for you to finally explore your sexuality…

You both turned your heads as a door swung open. A red-faced Robin smiled meekly at the two of you as she walked towards you and sat down at your side.

“You need to start using those hands to lock doors, girlfriend.” Nami chuckled and rose to her feet. She winked at the both of you and headed into the kitchen.

“Hi y/n… So… I’m sorry about that. I should have been more careful. It was a private moment and I apologize for you having to see it.” She genuinely searches your eyes for forgiveness.

“it.. it’s okay. I just didn’t know you guys were together like that…” You blush and look down at your feet. Robin smiled.

“He’s sweet. I know we might not look like we’d work out, but I find him quite charming actually!” Robin’s eyes sparkled. “And the sex is phenomenal.”

“Oh.. I… um… I wouldn’t know…” You felt your cheeks continue to heat up.

“Are you a virgin, y/n?”

“Yes.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, talking mostly to yourself. You continue. “It’s not like I’m doing it on purpose… I’m plenty old enough and I’ve thought about it loads… I just… haven’t had the right opportunity…”

“Well… If you really wanted to change that… I’m sure we could help you.” Robin takes your hand in hers. You look up into her eyes, they were kind and warm.

“What?” You were confused as to what kind of help she was offering you.

“If you wanted to experience sex with people you trust for your first time, I have no doubt Franky would jump at the opportunity. I would be there too, of course, to guide you. We’re very… open… to new experiences… if you’re understanding what I’m saying.”

“Oh…” Your eyes widen. It might be a good idea to finally get that awkward first time out the way, especially with someone you trust and know well. “I mean… yes? Sure. I guess I’m saying yes.”

“Perfect.” Robin squeezes your hand. “How about tonight? After dinner? My room?”

You nod. You can’t believe you’re casually agreeing to lose your virginity to two of your closest friends.

— —

That night, after dinner, you excused yourself from the table a little early so you could freshen yourself up. You took a quick shower, shaving your legs and trimming your bush, washing your hair with the most expensive shampoo you could find in the Sunny’s shared bathroom. After the shower you dried your hair and slathered your body in lotion. You felt like you were getting dolled up for a date, not a dick appointment.

You perused your closet for something to wear. You wanted to look comfy and casual, but still sexy… wait why were you overthinking this? You had known Robin and Franky for years, who were you trying to impress? You shook yourself out of your racing thoughts and settled on a black pair of knee length spandex bike shorts and a black cropped tee. You finished your hair and applied a bit of makeup before spritzing yourself with perfume. You looked at yourself in the mirror.

“Ok y/n. You can do this. It’s your totally normal friends who are a robot and someone with devil fruit powers who are going to take your virginity. This is fine and normal. Your life is normal.” After a few minutes of hyping yourself up, you make your way to Robin’s room. You take a deep breath and knock on the door a few times, remembering to knock this time after your intrusion earlier.

Robin quickly opens the door with a bright smile.

“Y/n! Come in! Are you thirsty? I have some wine.” She grabs your hand and pulls you into her room. Franky was relaxing in a large armchair against the wall facing the bed.

“Hey pretty thing! So good to see ya!” He beamed at you with a cola in his hand.

“Hi Frank, sorry about earlier…” You meekly apologize and stared at the floor.

“Hey no problem! Sorry ya had to walk in on me and the lady like that without warning.” Franky pushed his sunglasses up on his head and took a sip of his beverage.

“Here, y/n.” Robin shoved a large glass of white wine into your hand. She clinked her own glass with yours and winked. “Come sit.”

Robin retreated to her bed and patted a spot next to her for you to sit down. You took a big gulp of your drink and sat next to her on the fluffy purple comforter.

“So I was just telling Franky that you’re a virgin.” Robin states casually as she sips her wine. You choke on yours.

*cough* “Oh um.. yeah…” *cough* “I’ve never done anything really…” You sheepishly say as you catch your breath.

“Wow, someone as gorgeous as you? I’d had never guessed. Well don’t you worry sweet thing, we’ll take care of you real nice, right mama?” The cyborg smirks and leans back in his chair.

“Of course daddy, we’re going to make sure she feels so good.” Robin uses her free hand to start stroking your upper arm.

“Oh, so we’re like- doing this? Now? Okay uh-“ You stutter out.

“Well, whenever you’re ready, sweet girl. You’re just so pretty I can’t help myself.” Robin scoots herself closer to you on the bed and starts playing with the hem of your crop top. “Can I take your clothes off? I can take mine off too, if that’ll help you feel more comfortable.” Robin purrs into your ear.

“O-okay…”

Robin pulls your shirt over your head, breasts falling and bouncing against your chest. She then slips off your shorts, making you fully nude in front of them.

“Wow sweet cheeks, no bra or panties? And pierced nipples? Such a little minx.” Franky remarks at your lack of undergarments. You blush at the comment about your piercings.

Robin stood up and pulled her dress over her head.

“Isn’t she cute?” Robin smiles at you and back at Franky as she slips her panties down her legs and unhooks her bra. Her incredible rack was staring you straight in the face and you unconsciously rubbed your legs together in excitement. Her body was so gorgeous and toned, you wanted to feel it on top of you.

With both of you completely naked, Robin sits next to you again on the bed. “May I kiss you, y/n?” Robin asks, bringing her hand to your chin.

“Yes…” You whisper, meeting her gaze. You close your eyes as she leans into you. Her kiss is soft, her lips are buttery and smooth. After a brief moment of pressing her lips to yours, she begins rolling her tongue along your lower lip, silently asking for you to open your mouth. You oblige and she slips her tongue into your mouth to explore it eagerly. You bring your hand up to cup the side of her neck.

“Mmph!” You huff out in surprise as she slid one of her hands up to your breast and experimentally toyed with your nipple. You continue to make out as her hands play and squeeze at your breasts. Robin pulls back from your lips, continuing her ministrations on your tits, rolling the silver barbells in her fingers.

“You’re so sensitive, little one, can’t wait to see what else turns you on.” Robin giggles.

“Spread her legs, mama, wanna see that cute little pussy.” Franky prompts her from his chair.

Quickly, Robin is behind you, your back pressed against her ample chest. She gentlly takes your calves and hooks them over her spread legs so you were fully exposed for your robot lover. She begins open mouth kissing on your neck from behind and you sigh at the feeling.

“Can I touch you, y/n? Is this okay so far?” Robin whispers into your ear.

“Yes… I want you to touch me…” You whimper out, body aching for more contact.

“But no one has ever touched you here… right? Maybe just yourself?” She slid one of her hands down to cup your mound. Her voice became more sinister. Your face and ears were bright red, feeling embarrassed but your sexual desires were too strong so you pushed the feeling aside.

“Just me, Robin… no one else…”

“hmm… So you know what you like? How about this? Do you play with your little clit like this?” Robin coos at you as she begins to apply pressure to your throbbing bud and rub it in circles, your pussy was leaking at this point.

“Hnnnnn, yes! Yes I like this!” You whine out.

Robin continues slowly rubbing your clit and kissing your neck. She uses her free hand to pinch your nipples. Wait, was that a third hand? You looked down and you had one hand touching your sex and two on your breasts. You had never thought about it before but her devil fruit powers were certainly useful in this situation.

“You two look so super like this…” Franky lowly slurs out as he takes another sip of his drink from across the room. “You know she won’t be able to take me if you don’t stretch her first mama…” He adds.

“I’m getting to it… let me enjoy her first. You’re so impatient my love. Don’t forget who’s in charge here. I want to make it special.” Robin teasingly scolds her boyfriend as she doesn’t falter in her movements against your clit.

“Mmmm- more please! Wan’ more!” You wanted to feel something inside of you, having been worked up by Robin’s hands.

“Aww what a sweet baby. I can give you more.” Another hand appeared and one slender digit slid into your aching hole.

“Robin!” You gasp out and lean your head back on her shoulder. She slowly dipped her finger in and out of your cunt as you moaned in pleasure. She added another finger and you yelped.

“Have you made yourself cum like this, y/n?”

“Yes- nnghh! But you’re! You’re so much better! Ah!” You breath out as she pulls and taps on your sweet spot with her soft fingers.

“You’re too kind, baby.” Robin smiles down at you on her shoulder. “Daddy is pretty big, sweet girl, so I’m going to have to add another finger, okay?” She has another hand stroking your hair.

“O-okay… Fuck!” Robin adds a third finger into your weeping cunt and bullies them all into your spot. You felt a familiar yet stronger feeling build up in your lower half. You were sighing and moaning as you look towards Franky in the armchair. He had shed his minimal clothing and there was a hand sprouting from the chair and stroking his large cock. You had no idea how that was going to fit inside you, although your mouth watered at the sight of it. It was cut, thick, and gorgeous. Your orgasm was so close.

“I think- I think I’m gonna cum, Robin! I wanna cum!”

“Go ahead and cum, sweetheart, want you to feel so good….” She continues her work on your pussy as you slam your eyes shut in pleasure. You feel your orgasm rip through your body and spill out onto Robin’s hands. You moan out loudly. She slowly pulls out her hand and rubs your cunt comfortingly.

“That was so good, little one! You’re so wet and open, I think you’re ready to take daddy now.” There was a glint of mischief in her voice as she stroked the sides of your arms and kissed your cheek.

“You… you think?” You were hazing coming down from the powerful orgasm that Robin had just given you.

“Mhmm.” Robin kissed you on the forehead. “Come here daddy, lay down.” She nodded towards her cyborg lover.

“Showtime, ladies!” Franky laid down on the bed, as you were sure he had done hundreds of times. “Hop on up, little one!” He beckons you with a large hand. You collect yourself and straddle his huge hips.

“I.. I don’t… I don’t really know what to do, should I-?” You sputter out, your eyes darting from Robin’s and Franky’s.

“Let me help, sweetheart… You ready?” Robin leans forward and grabs Franky’s thick cock and lines it up with your soaking hole. You nod.

Another hand grabs your hip and begins to lower you down onto Franky’s dick.

“Ahh! It’s too much!” You felt the sting of his fat member stretching you out as it entered your virgin cunt.

“It’s okay! It’s okay just take it slow, okay?” Robin was kissing your upper arm as she guided you down further onto the man below you. “I’m right here…”

You mewled and whined as you slowly took Franky inch by inch. Eventually you felt your muscles relax as your body was flush to his. He was fully seated inside you.

“You did it! You did it, y/n! Mommy and daddy are so proud of you! Look how pretty you are with a cock inside you!” Robin gleefully released your hip to tilt your head down to look at where Franky’s dick was balls deep in your little hole.

“Ohhhh pretty girl, you’re so TIGHT!” Franky exclaimed as he grabbed your hips with both hands. “Never felt anything like this!” He praised you as he rubbed loving circles into your pelvis.

“I.. I did it…” You were breathless, never having felt so full in your life.

“Can I fuck her now, mama? Please?” Franky looked up at Robin, pleading to be able to wreck you.

“Yes, daddy, but don’t scare her off now. Be gentle.” Robin captured your lips in a soft kiss to distract you from her boyfriend planting his feet and beginning to thrust upwards into your tight hole.

“OH- Robin! Ah!” You moaned against her lips as your lover began to rut into you from below. It was so big and rubbing against your sweet spot so deliciously.

“I know sweetie, I know. You’re doing so good, taking daddy’s cock so well!” Robin cooed as she pulled back from your lips.

“Come on mama, take your seat. I want both!” Franky panted out as he thrust into your pussy.

Robin giggled as she moved to hover over Franky’s face and sat down on his waiting tongue. Robin sighed as she felt his tongue move against her wet folds. She leaned forward into you and wrapped her arms around your neck as you continued getting speared by Franky’s cock.

“Isn’t this mmhmmm- nice, y/n?” She mewled out as Franky sucked on her clit.

“AH YES!” You shrieked out, feeling your belly begin to tighten again. You felt a hand rubbing your sensitive, engorged clit. You felt two more hands pinching and pulling at your sensitive nipples. You felt two more hands squeezing your ass cheeks in addition to the large metal ones clutching your hips desperately. There was so much stimulation from every direction you could barely take it. Robin captured your lips in a messy kiss.

“Come on girls, I can’t take much more of this!” Franky shouted from underneath you both, he was clearly affected by your tight wetness.

“I want to kiss her for a little, be patient, daddy.” Robin pulled away briefly to scold him playfully. She dives back in to your swollen, wet lips. You grab the back of her head with both hands, the pleasure driving your boldness. The lewd wet slurping of Franky on Robin’s pussy was causing you to clench on the dick inside of you. Robin was keening and moaning into your mouth and you had never seen anything so hot.

“Fuck daddy, I’m going to cum. Want to cum with me, little one?” Robin looks you in the eye and continues her work on your sensitive bits.

“YES! Fuck I’m right there, please daddy!” You shriek out.

“Soak me, cum on me, ‘wanna feel it!” Franky pushes into you as far as he can go and your body spasms and creams all on his robot cock. You scream out in pleasure. Robin moans his name as she, too, finishes all over him. His blue hair was soaked in Robin’s gushy release. Robin kisses you deeply as you both finish your orgasms.

“Let me fill her, please mama, wanna stuff her so bad!” Franky begged his partner from underneath you.

“Of course daddy, anything you want.” Robin moved off his face and pinched his nipples to encourage his finish.

“FUUUUCK-“ Franky groaned loudly as he spilled himself deep inside your no-longer-virgin pussy. You fell forward, burying Franky’s face in your sweaty breasts. You were so dick drunk you couldn’t move.

“Come on little one, let’s get you tucked into bed.” Robin lifted you off Franky’s cock with her strong arms and laid you down under the covers.

“Th-thank you guys…” You whisper out.

“Hey, after that? I’ll let you join me and the lady ANY time!” Franky proceed to tuck both you and Robin into her comforter and head out to finish his repairs for the evening.

“Robin that was… so incredible…” You stroked her jaw as you laid in bed facing each other.

“Well sweetie, if you want to part of our little arrangement, I think we could make it happen…” Robin giggled at you as she raked her fingers through your hair.

“Maybe we can talk about it tomorrow…” And you drifted off to sleep.

#one piece anime #one piece #one piece smut #one piece fanfiction #one piece fanart #one piece live action #one piece netflix #one piece fandom #zoro x reader #law x reader #nico robin #robin x reader #franky x robin #franky x reader #one piece x reader

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rggie · 2 years

Text

second-years as school crushes

characters: azul, ruggie, riddle, silver

summary: as title states, the boys as school/college crushes… inspired by some real crushes i’ve had

cw: gn!reader, sfw, fluff, unedited. modern!au. 1k+ words

azul ashengrotto

the academic rival. he always had to have the higher grade, even if it was by a single percent. you got 98% on your last exam? you can’t celebrate, because azul got 100%

your teachers are always poking fun at your academic rivalry. they ship you. “stop flirting!” “we aren’t sir, this is simply a heated argument between intellectuals!!!!”

the whole class know about it too. the incessant comments after either of you raise a hand, the shared looks across the classroom...everyone rolls their eyes when you’re against each other in a debate because it’s likely the lesson will go overtime.

it irritates you how you cannot best him in anything, and how he still flashes you that same annoyingly charming smile each time you clash. you’re just waiting for the moment where you finally outclass him… and you do. except it doesn’t feel as rewarding you hoped it would feel.

you’re both in different gym / p.e classes, but your teachers decide it’d be a fun activity to get both groups together for a game of cricket.

strangely, azul was quiet. he didn’t greet with you a snide remark. he didn’t spare you a single glance. instead, he stayed huddled in the corner of the field, scratching at his arm anxiously. you can’t help but wonder what’s wrong. not that you’re worrying about him

after a failed attempt of bargaining with a stubborn teammate, azul had to bat. you were pitching, so you were against each other as usual.

you’ve never seen someone fail at hitting so badly. everyone is laughing and the gymbros are yelling at him to run, so he does, but it’s honestly more like stumbling, and oh. he’s running in the wrong direction. towards you.

his cheeks are flushed beet red (due to embarrassment or breathlessness, you didn’t know) he doesn’t ever meet your eyes properly again. he stops teasing you, too.

is it wrong that you miss it?

ruggie bucchi

food hogger. this guy always, without fail has some sort of food on him. you see him in the morning? toast in his mouth. midday? two donuts. even in class, he’s snacking, not even trying to hide how obvious it is with the loud smack of his lips and happy hums right in your ear.

it’s worse because he sits right next to you, and he doesn’t even offer to share. this boy is greedy, teasing you and taunting you by waving a chocolate bar in your face only to open it and plop it into his own mouth with a cackle.

at lunchtime, you’ll see him skipping the line using the excuse that he’s friends with some popular third-year. you’ll be seconds away from getting the last cookie and all of a sudden ruggie swoops in, claiming that this friend of his wants it. (if that was true, why did you see him eating it minutes later?)

as annoying as he is though, sometimes—and only sometimes!—he’s alright. when there’s days you’re feeling down, or when you don’t do well on a test, you’ll find a snack in your seat. the same treat you know he buys. it’s a silent way of comforting you without outwardly saying it. he likes you because you don’t snitch on him, and you like him because he’s funny, despite his loud chewing.

sadly, he’s just too busy for anything real to develop. you don’t know what he does in his free time, but he’s always running around. you suppose it’s none of your business, and before you can ask anyway, you’re assigned a new seat-mate.

riddle rosehearts

goodie-two-shoes. you’ve never seen someone who’s as much as a stickler for the rules as he is.

now you’re not necessarily a bad student, but this guy makes you feel as though you are. if you’re chewing gum in class, beware. don’t let riddle catch you otherwise you’re taking a trip to the trash can before he can raise his hand and tell on you.

he’s not only a snitch, but also thinks he’s right all the time. you feel a headache coming on with all his yammering.

he reminds the teachers about homework, even when he knows you haven’t done it. and then blames it on your incapability to manage time well.

the one time he forgets his homework, you almost want to tell on him, but he looks so pitiful you can’t. he’s on the verge of tears, talking about ‘handing himself in’ as though he were a criminal. you sigh and tell him he can copy.

at first, he refuses, but as the day drawls on he finds you at lunch and sits next to you for your answers. everyone is surprised at his actions, and he seems surprised at himself too, a constant pink tint all over his cheeks. you have to actually teach him how to copy properly: “no, don’t copy this word for word. and yes, i promise this is correct.”

you can tell how guilty he feels and reassure him that it seriously isn’t the end of the world. the next morning, you find your favourite drink on your table. his behaviour becomes more mellow with you after that. he scolds you lightly, tutting quietly when having to fix your collar. he’s almost sweet—

but he’s still a snitch.

silver

you’re certain he could sleep anywhere.

the first time you met, he was in a deep slumber, lightly snoring with his head planted in a study guide. afraid he’d get caught, you start placing a book in front of him to cover the fact he’s sleeping from the teacher. it ends up becoming part of your routine.

you’re not sure he even notices you’ve been doing it, but you don’t mind. silver is super sweet, always collecting worksheets for you and putting it on your desk, saving you the trip, or offering you snacks in class when you’re hungry. he smells of comforter and fresh laundry—honestly, his presence alone makes you feel lethargic yourself.

you muster up enough courage up to ask if he’s getting enough sleep. you’d be more than happy to help him out, recommending coffee or melatonin gummies, but he tells you it’s just something he’s always dealt with, that frustratingly will not go away.

you now try to make sure he doesn’t fall asleep in class, conversing with him more or poking him gently with your pen. for that he’s grateful, being sure to return the gesture when you’re tired. (but if you’re super exhausted, he’ll let you sleep, making sure you’re as comfortable as you can be.)

some mornings, he even buys you a warm drink alongside his coffee… well, it wouldn’t be for you if silver had remembered to give it to the person he had intended it for, the name malleus draconia scrawled across the cup, printed very clearly.

you have no idea who malleus draconia is, but you hope he doesn’t mind you stealing his latte & his silver-haired friend for a while.

#silver x reader #twisted wonderland #twst #silver twst #riddle rosehearts #riddle rosehearts x reader #twst fic #twst hcs #azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x reader #ruggie bucchi #ruggie bucchi x reader #🐾・/ rggie twst

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lxndonorris · 8 months

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tender touch - Dando

Lando Norris x Daniel Ricciardo (Dando) Theme: Smutish, Teasing, Touching prompt: "That wasn't part of the plan. But I'm not complaining." Daniel surprises Lando during an ice bath to congratulate him after qualifiyng word count: 1060+ taglist: @game-set-canet, @mcl4r3n @maxiel-jpg Editors note: I'm still a scrub writing driver ships, so if you have any tips, advice or something like that, feel free to tell me!

It's qualifying day, and even though the sun has already set, the heat is nearly unbearable. Lando managed to perform quite well and got 4th place, right behind two Ferraris and a Mercedes. He is happy and craves nothing more than an ice-cold bath. Luckily, all of the teams prepared that little treat for their drivers; it was the least they could do after wearing those racing suits inside their cars for over an hour.

Lando, stripped down to a pair of black swim shorts, makes his way toward the more secluded area hidden inside the paddock, where his personal ice bath is waiting for him. He asked for some alone time, just to chill and rest. It was an eventful qualifying, and he's so relieved to be performing the way he wants to.

One foot at a time, he enters the cauldron and lets out a long, guttural groan. All of his muscles, his skin, and his mind are aching for some short-term relief.

"Oh fuck." He growls as he lets his whole body sink into the water. It's a sensational feeling—his entire body is tingling blissfully, and shivers run down his entire back.

"Mhmm." Lando closes his eyes and makes himself comfortable before he dunks his head into the water. He's been sweating heavily, his hair is messy, and all he can think of is staying inside this cauldron for an entire week. That's how good it feels. Just chill and relax.

He emerges and struggles to keep his eyes open, but someone is standing right next to him—a bigger figure with a very familiar scent.

"There you are, Lando." Daniel's voice echoes through Lando's head, and he smiles. He runs a hand across his face and through his hair.

""Here I am." He growls deeply and proceeds to subconciously stroke his own chest just below the surface while he looks at him, standing there wearing his usual Alpha Tauri attire.

Daniel smirks and squats down, steadying himself against the cauldron so their faces are on the same level. "I was hoping to find you here." He says it softly and tilts his head.

"You found me." Lando licks his lower lip quickly before he moves in closer toward Daniel, so they are face-to-face now. The smell gets way more intense; it's Daniel's cologne, a very familiar, woody-aromatic fragrance. "What are you going to do now?" He mirrors Daniel and moves in even closer, so their lips brush over one another.

"Congratulate on P4." Daniel breathes right into Lando's mouth once he gasps before leaning in and kissing the man lovingly.

"Mhmm." Lando purrs, embracing these enticingly soft lips on his own. Unable to help himself, he reaches for Daniel, running his wet hand along his neck.

"Fuck." Daniel gasps, pulling his lips just inches away. "That's cold." He giggles quietly and stares into Lando's beautiful eyes.

Lando smirks and narrows his eyes. "Why don't you come in? It's much better here." He grins and lets his eyes wander all over Daniel's face, knowing that he also wants to cool down.

Daniel bites his lower lip and leans his head back. He is supposed to meet a few guys from his garage to celebrate the results as well, but he can't deny the temptation. "Fuuck." He growls again once Lando strokes his neck one more time, and more and more drops of cold water run down his neck.

"I wish I could, but..." He hesitates, but instantly Lando pouts and moves backward. Daniel, looking at his boyfriend's puppy-dog eyes, starts to stroke his own chest through his shirt. "Fuck it." He grunts, causing Lando to smile brightly.

Satisfied, Lando watches him undress. One piece at a time, Daniel exposes his beautiful physique until only his boxers remain. Mindlessly, he starts stroking himself again—his chest, his tummy, and even further down to his thighs.

Daniel knows how to put on a show, running his hands through his hair, his beard, and further down to his chest. He even flexes his biceps and shows off his well-trained form. He winks at Lando, who's visibly getting more and more into it with an open mouth and his hands hidden inside the water, touching himself gently.

"Fucking hot." He grunts as Daniel strikes a pose. His own boxers are giving away his excitement as well, and there is no way to hide it now.

Daniel's skin flushes with more and more color with every stroke of his own hand. "Just for you." He points at Lando, who is blushing now too.

Then, Daniel steps into the ice bath, and just like Lando before, he lets out a long, guttural growl. "This is amazing." He groans and sinks quickly.

"I told you." Lando says, and as Daniel leans his head back, embracing the cold water all around him, he moves in closer again, so he's right in front of him.

"That wasn't part of the plan." Daniel smirks. "But I'm not complaining." He kisses Lando once, then twice, with both of them embracing each other's bodies with their hands.

Lando feels hands all over him, running along his spine, his waistline, across his chest, his abs, and teasingly between his thighs. At the same time, he steadies himself against Daniel's firm body, feeling his heaving chest with every deep breath he takes.

"You're so handsome." Daniel breathes deeply, with his hands embracing the other's entire body.

"Daniel." Lando groans into his friend's mouth as the latter starts to feel the desire building up inside his swim trunks. Both of them slide a hand between their bodies, between their thighs, feeling each other's bulge grow immensely.

"Is this me?" He breathes down Lando's neck. "Or just the excitement for P4? Daniel's hot breath burns on his skin, causing him to let out a low, guttural moan.

"A bit of both." Lando regains his composure and lets his hands feel the chest some more—the hard nipples, the tensed muscles, and how Daniel's breath quickens with every little touch. "I'm glad you came." He is panting slightly as he starts to grind his hips against Daniel's hand.

"So am I." He smirks, and they both start to grind on each other, embracing one another fully.

"I missed you." Lando growls, running a hand through Daniel's hair lovingly.

Daniel, loving that gentle touch, gives in to Lando and hugs him. "I've missed you, too."

#lando norris x daniel ricciardo #dando #dando fic #dando imagine #dando smut #f1 imagine #f1 smut #dando prompt #dando fanfic #dando fanfiction

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morgane-art · 2 months

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The vampire Diaries ships as Taylor Swift songs

Delena + Stelena

"He is sensible and so incredible

And all my single friends are jealous

He says everything I need to hear

And it's like I couldn't ask for anything better

He opens up my door and I get into his car

And he says 'you look beautiful tonight'

And I feel perfectly fine...

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain,

It's 2 am and I'm cursing your name,

So in love that you act insane

And that's the way I loved you."

Datherine

"I never trust a narcissist

But they love me

So I play 'em like a violin

And I make it look, oh, so easy

'Cause for every lie I tell them

They tell me three

This is how the world works

Now all he thinks about is me."

Steferine

"I've been breakin' hearts a long time

And toyin' with them older guys

Just playthings for me to use

Something happened for the first time

In the darkest little paradise

Shakin', pacin', I just need you

For you I would cross the line

I would waste my time

I would lose my mind

They say, she's gone too far this time."

Steroline

"Church bells ring

Carry me home

Rice on the ground

Looks like snow

Call my bluff

Call you 'babe'

Have my back, yeah, every day

Feels like home

Stay in bed

The whole weekend

It's nice to have a friend."

Klaroline

"My mind forgets to remind me you're a bad idea

You touch me once and it's really something

You find I'm even better than you imagined I would be

I'm on my guard for the rest of the world, but with you, I know it's no good

And I could wait patiently but I really wish you would

Drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain

Kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain

Cause' I see sparks fly whenever you smile."

Forwood

"No matter what you say, I still can't believe

That you would walk away

It don't make sense to me, but

Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart ?

Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart, now ?

Why would you wanna make the very first scar ?"

Bonenzo

"Ladies and gentlemen will you please stand ?

With every guitar string scar on my hand

I take this magnetic force of a man

to be my lover

Look in my eyes they will tell you the truth

The girl in my story has always been you

I'd go down with the Titanic, it's true,

For you."

I wanted to add some 'The Originals' ships but I'm only on season 2 so I'll do a second part when I'll end the series.

Also I had 3 songs in mind for Klaroline it was hard to choose just one lol.

And the song I chose for Bonnie and Enzo was so crystal clear in my mind, when I listen to 'lover' I immediately think about them.

Feel free to tell me what you think !

PS : This post was inspired by a tiktok from @itsariedit who used the song "The way I loved you" for a delena edit and I thought it would be funny to pick a song for each ship of TVD

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fandomflotilla · 8 months

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@expensiveeggplant

See I don’t really see it that way? Because if I know the term right, Tsundere implies they’re into each other from the get-go and the anger is just an excuse to get to know each other.

For Alabastards their ship dynamic is default White Knight, only instead of developing a mutually respectful relationship, they instead diverge into a more toxic direction.

They genuinely do not like each other for basically most of the time up till their hatefucking and a good chunk of time after.

Jaune got off on the wrong foot with Weiss, so she’s just constantly lambasting him.

And Jaune eventually got fed up with Weiss giving him shit even after he stopped propositioning here.

I’m thinking he gets mad at her after seeing her be mean to Ruby. Ruby obviously forgives weiss basically immediately, but Jaune had already went “fuck this shit.” And cussed a bitch out.

And they realized as they were arguing that

a) both of them have ludicrously thick skin because of family/hate crimes and 7 sisters, respectively so it’s nigh impossible to get them actually angry if there’s no malice behind their words

b) they’re pretty much always going to be in close proximity because Ruby and Jaune genuinely love hanging out together, and their teams get along incredibly well

And c) it’s really, REALLY fun to rile the other up.

The rest of their teams are fucking baffled by how seeing each other just turns them into complete assholes, even with all the character development. But also they work incredibly well together when they have a common goal?

Eventually it’s less they hate each other and more they just got used to sniping at each other.

…wait…fuck, I suppose in the end it is kinda two tsunderes who are into each other. Lol

Idk. The vibe still feels different to me? More like belligerent sexual tension than tsundere vibes. Where it’s not that they both secretly love each other and they use anger to cover for it, but it’s more they both love making the other angry/worked up. More hatefuck than reluctant/embarrassed date.

Someone made a lovely comment on one of these posts that mentioned “The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s apathy.” And those two are anything but apathetic to the other.

…also I’m debating adding other ships/assholes into the Alabastards type AU’s. Low key wanna do one where Ruby demonstrates why she’s best friends with both of them, and one where Pyrrha fucking roasts someone. I’ll have to be careful tho otherwise I’m gonna indulge in my polyshipping tendencies and someone is going to get in the middle of an Alabastards sandwich.

Though tbh it’s not really a full AU or anything, so I’m always open to ideas if people want to have them! Feel free to add some in the notes below!

(Also, guys, if you want me to respond to you directly, please submit an ask or reblog the question. This is a sideblog and I can’t answer replies like in the screenshot without exposing my main.)

#alabastards #jaune arc #rwby #weiss schnee #admin talks #more like #admin rambles #I’m a bit long winded #lol #also #who else would secretly be a bastard in this AU?#because it still needs some ‘straight man’ characters to bounce off of #buttttt #there are multiple characters who would make excellent assholes #*cough*#pyrrha nikos #yang xiao long

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34saveme34 · 10 days

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I kinda expressed that with my opinion on why I don't think marware is abusive

and I genuinely think it has the most potential

but I really don't. think that other pairings are as bad as some people put them

as in, calling them proship

like I said it before, you can make any ship problematic if you try hard enough

like I'm specifically talking about 3ware here

I don't ship it, obviously I sold my soul to marware but

it genuinely does have potential and I think if you'd take it in the right direction, it could be really nice

especially cuz they could end up relating to each other over feeling lonely cuz 3 was very much lonely before he joined the crew

also just. your plans not working out

It would be very interesting if 3 turned out to be the guy to help Puzzles get redeemed or something and I feel like with those 2 the theatre nerd that I just. can't believe isn't there inside 3 would come out

I think it would be really fun, if stuff went in a positive way, they could be friends in my eyes

and before you're like, ugh, but Puzzles did Bad Things and that is hilarious because 3 did some BAAD things too and if you think that bad people can't change well- feel free to join Thomas Astruc, I think director of Miraculous Ladybug who said that Chloe, a 15 year old girl can't be redeemed because she'll always be mean or whatever, although this is a more extreme example

but yeah I'm tired of pretending 3 didn't do shit and that maybe in some aspects 34 absolutely had some vibes where you could've shipped it in a toxic way. so are THEY proship now because there's the possibility of them being in a toxic relationship? I mean, I did see someone on twitter say that that they would be (ughh)

also like. I know, we like healthy relationships but... the toxicity can be one hell of a drug, even while yknow, knowing that hey, this isn't like, couple goals, but you can OBVIOUSLY still explore relationships like that without making it your ideal

like I describe The Hunt thing with marware, with Mario chasing Puzzles till the end of the Earth to get his Entertainment

like. that's OBVIOUSLY not a healthy relationship but it's still fun to think about and discuss. I think yandere shit also has like, the same appeal

and all the while, I'm actually kind of a collected person in a happy relationship where I practice openness and looking out for boundaries like a normal fucking person. while I sometimes look at not entirely happy or healthy ships and admire their dynamic in a character studying way

like I think some of yall need to put down the pitchfork about Puzzles ships, block some tags, ask people to tag ship (which is why I tag marware btw!! I'm thinking about people and their comfort because I know not everyone likes it even if that's kind of sad to think about!)

so yeah like, chill out, let people ship weird things

this is also not to say that I condone like, noncon or any of the sort, I just want to say in case someone starts to think that

I'm just saying that when someone ships 4ware and makes art of them being evil together maybe you should just block the ship's tag if it makes you feel so uncomfortable instead of going on the person's post and accusing them of vile things and telling them to end their life

#another addon: I don't actually like any of the ships I mentioned besides my soulbound beautiful marware #but people actively going out of their way to shit on the shippers is kinda wack #like if they were Idk. shipping Puzzles with Boopkins or something I'd totally get it like yeah #that's weird as shit log off #but when it just. explores toxic relationships in a safe environment like cmon #also I'm not a fiction doesn't affect reality person #I'm a fiction CAN affect reality person so uh yea #I know it's a touchy topic n your kneejerk reaction is to hate on it but #I will give it to those people. it sure does sound like how some groups discuss gay people in media #I don't wanna discuss this any further btw <3 especially if you're gonna be rude about it #cuz the block button can become rather tempting then

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darsynia · 1 year

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Sneak Peek: Shipping and Handling Ch 1

SERIES MASTERLIST | HAND(S) OFF MASTER | STORY LINK

Story Summary: Whether it's fair or not, you and Steve are chemically linked. The circumstances may have been unusual, but they aren't impossible to replicate, meaning there could be other couples going through the same thing. Dr. Bruce Banner has asked the two of you to submit to a series of tests over a period of weeks, tests that are meant to keep the side-effects you're experiencing at a minimum, but which also mean you'll be seeing more of each other.

As the days pass, two things become clear: proximity doesn't lift the ardor as much as Banner expected... and though you try to keep it to themselves, both you and Steve feel just as emotionally drawn to each other as you are physically. Are those feelings also prompted by Mistress? Is there any way to figure it out ethically? Will the new way you're both seeing Bucky make things worse... or better?

Length/Warnings: snippet is 530 / this is a horny (but not sexual) snippet, minors DNI

The guy at the security counter calls the apartment with a dubious expression that makes you worried about just how much like a vagabond you look, but eventually nods and directs you to an elevator.

“He’ll meet you in the hallway,” the man says, leaning into the elevator car once you’ve boarded to call out a code phrase you don’t recognize. He gives you one last once-over and adds, “It changes every week.”

When the door closes, your imperfect reflection in the silver coating has you scrambling to adjust the moist cling of your blouse on your breasts. Unkempt twists of hair are glued to your cheeks and forehead with perspiration, and you’d completely forgot that for an easy ego boost, you always apply performance-quality red lipstick for final rehearsal.

In short, the security guy had a point.

The doors open before you get a chance for a last once-over after your adjustments. The best you can do is a weird crossed-arms stance with your hands spread wide to obscure just how lovingly your damp red top is cupping your assets.

Thankfully, the man standing in the hallway is Bucky Barnes.

You rush out, dropping your hands to gesture at yourself with one as you laugh into the other. “Do you see this?” you ask, eyes wide. “I guess I’m lucky the guard downstairs didn’t call the cops instead of the apartment!”

Bucky trails his piercing blue eyes along your outfit, his expression impassive. For the first time ever in his presence, you feel a little objectified, but you shake that off. After all, you told him to look-- and given the growing appreciation in his gaze, he’s at least giving you a bit of a self-esteem boost. When Bucky’s finished, having followed through by taking in your pencil skirt and crimson sandals with his head tipped to the side, he finally looks you in the eyes.

“Nice toenail polish,” he smirks.

“I don’t know why I put up with you,” you gripe under your breath. “Please tell me you have a shirt I can borrow? They still have the heat on at the venue, Babs is tearing out her hair. If the forecast is right about how hot it’ll be tomorrow night, we’ll have to hand out free cups of ice to keep an audience.”

“Yeah, but we got a gauntlet to run before that,” he tells you. The apartment door’s open, and he stands to the side, gesturing for you to precede him.

“If it’s related to another set of metal doors and a scary British man telling me to hide, I’ll just walk home, spring heatwave or not.”

“She’s here?” Steve says from inside. He comes out right as you walk over, and both of you stop within inches of each other. “You’re late,” he says-- but the tone of his voice is the exact same stressed, desperate, needy one you’ve tried not to fondly remember. The words, ‘Oh, Steve, if you’re going for ‘stern,’ be careful! hover up as a possible response, but you can’t imagine saying them in anything other than your flirty lounge singer persona, and that would cross too many lines, especially today.

#steve rogers x you #steve rogers x reader #stucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #stucky x you #bucky barnes x you #tbh the stucky x reader part is slow burn but everything else is on fucking FIRE ok #sex pollen #sex pollen aftermath #somehow plotty sex pollen #i am woefully behind on my reads and writes accounts btw pls forgive me i promise i haven't abandoned them #my life falls apart around me as i write as much smut and clean the house at the same time #canon x reader in the background as my house is overrun with neighborhood rats and might be on fire 'this is fine'#sneak peek #no tags because i am chaos and the chapter will be posted tomorrow #darsy's chaotic tags

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mikuni14 · 5 months

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Bake Me Please - Ep 5

Bake Me Please is probably the first BL series I've ever seen that has such irritating characters and an irritating plot, but where the irritation comes from how much the series feels REAL and therefore is annoying af as the rl usually is, and not because I just find it annoying personally. For example, I feel a completely different irritation when watching Pit Babe than I do when I watch Bake Me Please, the main difference is that Bake Me Please makes me LOVE being annoyed, I am invested in this stupidity, instead of being tired by it 😄

I literally know such stories from real life, I know people like Peach and Shin. I've seen their situation in rl. In a separate post, I wrote about how Shin is not boyfriend material. Really, the more I think about it, the more I become convinced that Shin REALLY should undergo therapy and lessons in controlling himself, his anger and his reflexes. And most of all, learning that not everything is ABOUT HIM, that people make decisions not thinking about HIM, and that not everyone around him is his open or hidden enemy, and that sometimes things just turn out that way. At this point, Shin is a person who is not suitable for starting a relationship, because even if Shin and Peach were to reconcile now and start over, the next time things will go not to Shin's liking, he will react exactly the same.

There's also the matter of Shin's malice and his complete lack of qualms about actively hurting Peach. The scene when Peach cries and Shin, instead of coming to his senses, doubles down on his cruelty was very telling. I understand the anger (though honestly, Shin acts like Peach did something really, REALLY bad), but that moment when you look at the person you technically love, and they stand in front of you, heartbroken and in tears, and your heart hardens at that view, instead of going soft, or worse! your heart softens but your pride does not allow you to make a gesture of comfort - because after all this person is suffering - something is very wrong here.

Peach is really unlucky in love 😩 (it must be a really bad karma, Tharn with his thriving romance is a lucky one here lol), Shin is not suitable for a relationship, and Guy, as it turns out, also uses manipulation and ugly tricks to get Peach. Moreover, seeing Peach devastated, Guy doesn't think about him either, he just tries to push his own agenda. Likewise, I can't stand his constant accusation of Shin of "taking everything from him, professionally and personally." Thus, he denies Shin from simply being good at his job, and also denies Peach his own choice. Guy, by snitching on Peach to Shin and creating a conflict between them and accusing Shin of taking Peach away from him (wtf???), really treats Peach as someone without his own mind and free will, capable of making his own, even bad, choices.

That's why I'm shipping Peach with the boss of the other bakery, I think his name is Per, who seems to be the most sensible guy in this series (next to Atom) 😎

I also really like Per's final blow, which is: why is everyone running away from your workplace? Because you can really see the difference in the working atmosphere in both bakeries. I have to ask: if Shin's bakery hadn't made it to the finals, would they also throw a party, as they did at his bakery?

As far as I can tell, there are only, um, three? series about workplace romances this year, that weren't a complete disasters. Bake Me Please is not one of them, regardless of what the finale will show 😀

(the only good, positive relationships in this series are the brothers' relationship and Peach's relationship with his grandmother)

#bake me please #bake me please the series #thai bl #bl drama

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itchyeye · 3 months

Note

You are hands down one of my favorite blogs especially as someone else who REALLY doesn’t like JM and has no one to vent to about it so I hope you don’t mind me venting a bit of like

Why are JM shippers so violent 😭 I haven’t had ANY problems with any JoneElias fans, they’re so chill and stick to their own lane but JM shippers seem to go out of their way to insult JE fans so gruesomely at times even when you stick to your own tag ; (not like the main TMA tag is SWARMED with JM- even Jon’s tag is nothing but JM).

The fandom is so hostile if you’re not on the same page and it’s really hard to make friends if you’re not also a JM fan smh…

(It’s also funny HOW JM fans attack JE fans- like excuse you guys for enjoying… horror and fucked up aspects in a fictional pairing? From the horror and fucked up podcast? Uh…. Huh?)

Sorry if this is annoying feel free to ignore LOL I just have so much to say about this ship that I loathe and you’re so spot on with your posts 👌🏻

pleeeeease do not apologize this is so sweet of you 🥺

and tbh i don't know. i don't understand the vast majority of the fandom that surrounds this horror podcast because they are just very very very clearly people who hate horror and don't want to engage with it and to whom it brings no joy

one thing i will say about my little corner of tumblr at least is that while i very often see this sort of behavior, i have never had someone approach me directly to harass me. that is much more than i can say for the huge number of JE enjoyers/writers/artists who get regularly harassed over playing make believe about two imaginary men kissing. but at least speaking to my own experience, i have never been harassed for hating JM and loving JE. i attribute a lot of this to my ten-mile long blocklist!

but yeah i find basically any tag to do with the podcast completely unusable... even the elias bouchard tag is overrun with children posting about how much they hate "elias BITCHard"

shrug i guess!!! i don't tag any of my perfectly valid anti-JM diatribes i don't see why people feel the need to tag their sentence-fragment text posts about how much they hate elias with #the magnus archives #magpod #tma #tmaelias #elias tma #elias bouchard #elias bitchard #jonah magnus #the magnus institute

anyway if there's one thing i love more than tma, more than jon, more than elias, more than jonelias... IT'S COMPLAINING!!!!!

so if you ever have something to bitch about my ask box is wide open to you and i will be happy to accept your righteous anger at my doorstep xo

#[💌] asks and replies #anonymous

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iodotsys · 10 months

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Maybe I'm an idiot, but why is Dib like an incel? Isn't incels are like "I'm too good for everyone, I don't need anyone, why they always pick the people who are not as great as me?", but it's clear that they still crave company, they just disguise their insecurities with unrealistically high standards? This sounds more like Zim to me.

I'll start with Dib's opening speech about Galileo in Lice.

"Dib:…But nobody believed Galileo! They even put him in jail! Now if all these people who just called him crazy were brought back and shown just how wrong they really were, they'd be sorry! Oh, they'd be sor— "

Sounds like he's projecting, doesn't it? Furthermore, he calls himself a visionary in Mysterious Mysteries. Dib thinks very highly of himself. He's also a complete jerk by demeaning others he sees as lower than him, like poor DarkBooty when he tried to help him. He immediately responds to a janitor with "What are you gonna do? Clean me?"

Not to mention his entire rant to Torque in Dark Harvest. Completely unprompted, he begins rambling at Torque.

"Dib: And he wants to destroy us all. Now I know you think I'm crazy, but you'll thank me… You'll all thank me! Aliens are kind of a hobby of mine. Well, more like a way of life, really…

Torque: Man, you're creepin' me out…

Dib: I have vague memories of being taken on board an alien ship as a baby. And I'm not sure, but I think they were doing tests on me… Trying to create some kind of genius super-baby perhaps…"

And he's ridiculed horribly for it. To the point he was about to have a murder/suicide in Room with a Moose.

"Dib: Okay, Dib. Before you really try to think of a way out of this, think about what that would mean. On one hand, you'd be saving yourself. On the other hand, you'd also be saving… them!

Jessica: Look! He's talking to himself again!

Dib: You guys are just begging to face the moose!"

He knows he's better than everyone.

These are only a few examples of exerts directly from the IZ scripts. Dib knows he's better than everyone. He's the son of Professor Membrane, here to save the Earth.

Even in the art book, page 58, there's a few comments on his character.

Rikki says, "Dib cares so much about what people think of him. I think with Dib, it's more so not actually about saving the planet, but about proving to everybody that he's somebody that people should respect."

Jhonen says, "Dib genuinely wants to protect the world and his people despite the fact nobody believes him. But a good deal of that drive is so that he can then say, 'Look everyone, I saved you, praise me!' There's definitely a huge amount of ego that goes into why he does what he does."

Dib is bullied by a society he knows is lower than him. I will close with the line he made Willy say in Voting of the Doomed in front of the entire student body.

"Willy: Also, Dib will finally be appreciated for the genius that he is!"

I hope this clears things up. If anyone has any further questions, feel free to ask.

#invader zim #dib membrane

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tleeaves · 9 months

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Gush about your favourite TSC characters and ships! It's a free-for-all.

This is an incredibly sweet opportunity and now I'm sitting here trying to figure out who and what I want to talk about first. It's probably no secret or surprise that most of my favourites of anything in TSC come from the TLH series. See, with such open-ended gushing opportunities as this, actually, there are sooo many characters I want to talk about. I'm beginning to fear everyone's going to regret you calling this a free-for-all.

James Herondale is by far my favourite TSC character in existence, and I think about him and have talked about him (elsewhere, before I had any Tumblr blogs) the most. If you've read some of my longer fanfics at all, this likely hasn't come as a shock to you, but I love the guy, which is probably why I'm a little weird when it comes to others' posts about him (maybe Jane Austen was onto something when she said that if I loved someone less, I'd be able to talk about them more). We all come away from reading books with different takes on characters, and that's a perfectly normal phenomenon. Because I feel so deeply about James, I tend to dance around the topic of him unless I do agree with someone else's analysis or I have something substantial to say, and even then I tend to curb myself because I don't want to sound like a raving lunatic... and now I realise how long that sentence was. (I'm already a raving lunatic, aren't I?) Anyhow, this is an opportunity to gush, and gush I will (very extensively).

See, I've seen it going around the fandom that people dislike the characterisation of James or the way he was presented in earlier short stories pre-TLH publications and then post when some might argue he was a completely different person. Honourable mention to my fellow countryman, musician, and fanauthor, @faithfromanewperspective, who has some fascinating posts discussing the neurodivergence of the TLH cast, which help further explain their personalities and some of their characterisation across their written existence (seriously, go check out some of Silver's analysis posts, they're such wonderful and interesting reads). Similar to Silver, I like to observe the essentially four different Jameses that exist across the timeline of James Herondale's written existence.

We have the James from the Shadowhunter Academy era, James in The Midnight Heir set several months before the events of The Last Hours, and then, of course, who we have during TLH pre- and post-bracelet influence. I once embarked on a research rabbit warren when I hit a rough patch in fanfic writing where I was trying to decide how best to write James post-bracelet while still remaining as canon-compliant as possible, while also filling in the gaps I and other fans have been frustrated with in James' evolution, all before Chain of Thorns was released. I reread all the stories that involved James and constructed an approximate timeline where I explored the ways his personality was presented at various points. From there, I tried to make sense of him by connecting, essentially, these four Jameses.

James holds a number of insecurities and burdens that pretty much sealed the deal for me when I was reading about him the first time around (don't ask me to count how many times I've read about him overall). Similar to when I discussed the topic of Jem Carstairs and chronic illness (see here), I connected to James Herondale through the avenue of chronic conditions. Other content creators like to interpret characters through lenses of mental illness or disorders, for instance, which definitely have a wealth of analysis and discussion to offer. My go-to instead, I suppose, is chronic illness and relationship dynamics, and how that affects a person's character. I may have talked in part about this before somewhere on here, but I'm too lazy to comb through the James Herondale tag that exists on my fandom blog (@streettealee, where I'll also be reposting this ramble). Anyway, burdens and insecurities.

Goatface Herondale

The academy days were especially rough for many characters, but here I'm talking about James (obviously). He was around the age of 13 when he attended the Shadowhunter Academy (a year, give or take a bit, before Grace would ask him to retrieve her bracelet and wear it, and a little closer in time to when he went to Cirenworth and had scalding fever). We see that he was a rather shy kid, generally self-conscious as one tends to be when reaching teenage years especially, and also quite insecure.

He has a close relationship with his parents and also his sister. We know he's very protective of Lucie, and they were playmates, which naturally lends itself to bonding and frequent squabbles (take it from me, an eldest child with a younger sister born right as I became a toddler -- we were each other's only friends in many respects and we got into a lot of fights, yet I would do anything for my sister, even take ownership for her mistakes just because I didn't want her to suffer the consequences). The nature of his relationship with Lucie is something that does not change as the series progresses (it would have been interesting to see her reaction to him in TMH though). As for his parents: James is what my friends and I in primary school would have mockingly called "The Golden Child" (and not for his eyes, mind you), because he's not simply a mama's boy or father's boy. James is the dreaded combination of both, in which he is always trying to do right by them in some way, shape, or form, without much particular favour for one over the other. It wouldn't surprise me if Lucie was ever bitter about him being the oldest and something of a goody-two-shoes, or if James regarded it the other way with Lucie always getting away with everything because she's younger and so innocent-seeming (she definitely play-acted her way out of things as a child).

As has been examined by others already, James carries the burden of his parents' love (we'll get to more of this in the next section). Not only is he the miracle child of a Shadowhunter and a warlock, never seen before, he is also affected by the trauma Tessa carries as an outsider within the Enclave, and the concern she and Will have for him that borders on overbearing. We see in his academy era that he will not say goodbye to his father because he knows he cannot bear it and does not want to be seen as weak. We also see that he refuses to go home and or do anything that would reflect badly on his mother, because she is already alienated for being a warlock in Shadowhunter society. Furthermore, James is resentful of his father particularly at this time, because James is constantly being compared to him (again, we'll come back to this). He wishes Will Herondale were less than perfect so that James would be allowed to be who he is: less than perfect, a Nephilim child with demon blood.

As a kid, it can be difficult growing up in an environment where you are from two cultures, and everyone around you is constantly trying to get you to pick which you most are between them, instead of unifying them both as elements of your identity (this is from my personal experience). James has been an odd Shadowhunter for most of his life, up until the point at the academy where his warlock powers (thanks to Belial, yay) suddenly manifest. From that point on, where it is seen that some magical capability is possible, James is caught between two worlds. It was bad enough for him to have strange yellow-gold eyes ("Goatface Herondale") which he tried to hide by wearing his glasses more often than necessary, he then had to contend with a more noticeable, alienating feature of his demonic heritage, which drove away even the mundanes he had previously been befriending (outsiders to a particular majority tend to flock together, up to a certain point, as demonstrated).

So, there's that aspect of his shadow powers. When I read about James, I drew connections also with the earlier mentioned chronic illness view. His demonic heritage is not a condition, but his experience of their manifestation in uncontrollable and traumatising episodes of shadow magic are what I would call one. As if he were not insecure enough about not being extroverted enough to break out of his loneliness and enter social circles he's always skirted at the edges of, he is afflicted by a condition that betrays his body and will. This loss of control is difficult for anyone. It's easy to feel helpless, even after a diagnosis of something, because it is incurable and or unpredictable in nature. Self-loathing lends itself to those left vulnerable by such a violent change in their body's nature and their identity. There is a lot to be said about the labels given to us and the ones we assume. To James, this is just another way he is less than perfect, less than his father, a weakness to his mother and family, no longer on totally common ground with his sister, different from his peers, and his ability to tamp down this part of him and appear as some semblance of "normal" for Nephilim becomes tied with his self-esteem.

As a quick side note: it is my theory that James feels like an outsider among Downworld circles and that is why he has always been rather awkward around them. We see he does fine in The Devil Tavern when he gradually makes a second home of it, but there are other instances, such as a brief moment that lives rent-free in my head where, at his introduction in Chain of Gold, he walks past a vampire and avoids eye contact because "[unless Downworlders broke the law, it was none of his business what they did]" (I'm paraphrasing there) and I think there's been a bit of shame instilled in him. James is not wholly a Downworlder, and he is not wholly Nephilim, and because he was raised as a Shadowhunter and alienated anytime he was not quite resembling one, he does his best to try and follow Shadowhunter values and norms and further avoids some aspects of Downworld in some contexts, like when he's just come off a patrol.

Of course, good things come to James too at this time: Matthew finally manages to befriend him, and the two are both insecure people who find security in each other. He also leaves the Shadowhunter Academy, and Matthew declares he and James are going to be parabatai and must therefore stick together, which for James would feel pretty damn good -- not only because Matthew wants to share such a special connection with him, considering his demonic heritage and the inherent angelic ties the parabatai ceremony holds, but also because his father places a lot of stress on parabatai as one of the greatest forms of love that exists (again, we come to that burden of love idea) and so James, I believe, would find this an opportunity to live up to the expectations his parents hold.

AND ANOTHER SIDE NOTE: I THINK IT IS BRILLIANT THAT TLH IS BASED ON GREAT EXPECTATIONS I MEAN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD THE ENTIRE TLH CAST IS SADDLED WITH ALL THESE THINGS EXPECTED OF THEM FOR VARIOUS REASONS, I COULD GO ON ABOUT THIS FOREVER AND THE CONNECTIONS THEY HAVE TO THE ORIGINAL NOVEL BY DICKENS.

All that is to say: this first sort of version of James that we see is shy, insecure, sweet, generally well-intentioned, clever (he's funny and I didn't get time to try and go back to the book to pick up all the instances where he says something amusing, keep off), and reaches this first turning point of burden -- the burden of love and expectations, and of his heritage and abilities/condition. All of this has already brewed into a hero complex (it does not quite rival Cordelia's, but it's up there -- James really likes to handle things himself and on his own, and now it's got me thinking about Batman... anyway).

Helen of Troy

This boy had shining golden eyes, like a crystal glass filled brimful with crisp white wine and held up to catch the light of a blazing sun. If his skin was luminous, his eyes were radiant. Magnus could not imagine these eyes as tender. The boy was very, very lovely, but this was a beauty like that Helen of Troy might have had once, disaster written in every line. The light of his beauty made Magnus think of cities burning.

The Midnight Heir is perhaps the most contentious piece written about James, and I would like to point several things out before we proceed: Cassandra Clare wrote this (as well as Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy) with co-authors who, as far as I know, were not as heavily involved in TLH. Furthermore, this is from Magnus Bane's perspective, and he is known to dramatise just as much as the TLH cast themselves like to drape their lives in drama. Now, going forward...

This occurred before TLH and I have my practical writer theories as to why James wound up so different in TLH compared to TMH. Clare changed her mind about the story's trajectory, about who the main characters would be, what the romances would look like, who she wanted James Herondale to be. And this is where I have to admit, Clare as a writer -- like any other -- is flawed and has a history of inconsistencies. As frustrating as it can be, it happens, and so there is obviously the issue of "well who is the REAL James Herondale? What/who is canon?"

This brings me to my exercise in interpreting James: the different Jameses that exist and my way of uniting them all so that they do indeed make one coherent character who can have the mildness of his academy era, the wild intensity of his midnight era, and have all that remain consistent with who he is by The Last Hours (during and post bracelet).

As you may have gathered from the Goatface Herondale topic above, James' turning point at the academy was just the start of the disasters he was written for--disaster written in every line--which leads up to TMH or his Helen of Troy period. There are some interpretations that his wild and unruly behaviour was simply as it was presented to us: heartbreak taken to the extreme "because he's a Herondale and they love only but once blah blah bullshit blah" and heightened by the cursed bracelet he was wearing at the time (there is textual evidence he had it on him, and we are told Grace merely sent a letter that made him despair and things were quickly made up after). Then, such as done by Silver, there is the interpretation that James may be bipolar or have some other disorder in which he experiences manic episodes, which lead to the vast, seemingly inexhaustible energy he had that night in TMH where we first meet him as he's grown older and the complete mood swing that almost resembles an entire change in character (also look to the dialogue of his parents who say he never used to be like this, he was always so studious, so good, very mild and well-behaved, kept his parabatai in line and shared private jokes). This is where I would have really liked to know Lucie's view, because as his sister, she is more than likely to share a view that is different from the adults gathered (Magnus, Tessa, Will, and Jem), and I almost think she would say he's being dramatic and she doesn't know what got into him except he's still treating her all the same and then she'd just roll her eyes (I'm not saying she wouldn't be concerned, but just that she'd easily disguise it as a mockery of her brother doing dumb shit).

There is also something to be said about masking and "the Mask" that James dons. However, I do not know enough about this to comment much on it. I direct you once again to @faithfromanewperspective who I know has covered this topic in more detail. What I have to add around it (as someone with some form of undiagnosed neurodivergence, but leaning toward ADHD and C-PTSD (I do not yet have the funds or ability to seek professional opinions)) is that this is plausible, and yet not my first thought when I'm considering the totality of James and how we can unite the different stages of his timeline. I say this because I experience bursts and lulls of certain behaviours, and so far I do not have anything concrete to attribute it to, and it may sound stupid, but I have found (in my experience) that sometimes we lose our inhibitions as a result of extreme emotions in difficult circumstances. Who I am when I am at home is different to who I am in the classroom and different again to who I am when I've been drinking alcohol and who I am when I'm wandering the streets of a city late at night (always with friends, notably, because I don't feel safe enough to wander alone at night as a woman). Sometimes, I do not even need a drink in me to loosen up certain aspects of my mentality, but a few hours of sleep deprivation (sort of a lie, I'm almost always sleep deprived and it's yet another chronic issue I'm working on since it affects other areas of my health). I believe I am a product of my environment in many ways. And so is James.

There is some merit to the original idea that James has been ensconced in such profound love his whole life, that when his love life goes wrong and is not at all like the beautiful fairytale he resents his parents for having and pushing on him, it destroys him inside. Admittedly, I'd say this would have greater impact and would be a much more compelling narrative if the bracelet was not cursed and James was allowed to break the dumb Herondale myth of loving once (furthering that alienation but ultimately providing him liberation). But even with the bracelet: James believes himself in love, believes he is damned because he is demonic and nothing good can ever become of him or anything he wants in life, he is going to always get the short end of the stick because the expectations placed on him are too great, and he has received a devastating letter as a hormonal teenager with access to an entire city to terrorise and alcoholic drinks to consume. I'd say it's not far-fetched to assume he was just incredibly drunk and heartbroken that night, and was simply embracing the drama that teenagers lean toward.

It is, though, the sheer cruelness that James demonstrates in front of Magnus that pokes a hole in this framework. The James we knew previously, and even the James we see in TLH, is not who you would call cruel. So where did this come from? Was it his resentment against Downworld rising to the surface, an extension of his insecurities raging inside him? Rebelliousness against his parents? If he embraces chaos and cruelty and vice, can he convince himself he is merely being who he was always meant to be, as someone who is part demon? (Sound familiar to anyone? *cough* Jace Herondale *cough*) Was he as drunk as Magnus thought he was? Was James, in reality, experiencing some sort of manic high where he could be wickedly precise with a gun and still be entirely out of his typical character?

I have no definite answer, except that I urge you to reflect inward. Have we not all at least once experienced a time where we "have not acted ourselves"? Where, for one reason or another, we shed our usual attitudes and embraced a different side of ourselves that only seems out of character because others around us do not know us as we know ourselves? I know I have. I know I can be cruel and nasty when I let go of care, and that a part of me believes sometimes that it is my truest nature because of what some people drilled into me for many impressionable years. That sometimes it is a form of self-harm, because I can still feel empathy and I know what I am doing is hurting someone else, and it hurts me too because I am so aware of it and the whole vicious mental cycle goes on. I know that if I simply stay up long enough at night, I indulge in reckless behaviours and say whatever comes to my mind with little to no filter. I know that I can have periods of energy fueled by recklessness, by some social interactions, by many other factors, and can lead to be attempting to perform feats I typically would not.

James trying to make love to a lamppost and a dog and what have you? That I could attribute to drinking or sleep deprivation. It could just as easily be something else, but I will stand by the fact that this is not out of the ordinary when one is in an extraordinary sort of mental state. I also believe Clare's intentions when writing that was more for humour than anything.

Returning to my earlier point, I do believe James might have been cruel in TMH because he simply could be, because he is unloveable (in his mind), demonic, and for that period of time, dreadfully tired of how hard he had to try to be someone everyone believed he was not. And perhaps because this rebellion, this reckless behaviour, as chaotic as it appears, is actually his form of taking control over his life and his image. If he acts the part of a wild, half-warlock, if he embraces wickedness, he is in control of that and no comments or misfortune that might be attributed to it are as bad in his mind. To him, under the curse, Grace is perfect and he's just Ken James, barely a Herondale. This night in TMH that catches glimpse of his character as of late is actually just the snowball effect of his insecurities that we already saw in the academy.

So, how does that connect to the Jameses of TLH?

Barely a Herondale

Let's revisit my favourite topics of chronic illness and control. We see by TMH, and with context provided in Chain of Gold, that James had begun to master his shadow abilities, so that they became actual abilities and not just a condition that he was struggling with. In a way, I see it as a remission. James has developed this precious view of control because of this, I would argue, and we see him grapple with control and his insecurities in TLH more. When we open the series with Chain of Gold and we see James enter the shadow realm against his will in the middle of a fight, there is a deep sense of body betrayal, I find when reading. I feel for James when his friends go "I thought that had stopped happening/all that rubbish was over" and he goes "me too". I cannot count the times in my life when I genuinely thought my health troubles were over, that the rollercoaster was only going up, just to have a horrible shock when suddenly my body gives out on me and I am plunged for months into chronic pain and illness all over again for usually unclear reasons. I have no cure, just as James doesn't. We simply have methods of managing our respective conditions, if that makes sense. It is a constant fight for control over ourselves. There have been times where I will not tell a single person that my symptoms of something have come back, simply because I am exhausted and I already know the drill of management techniques I'll have to employ myself.

James reaches for his knife, for the pain to bring him back. He contacts Jem because he's worried and has no idea what's going on or why it happened. I am so, so obsessed with this. I can't stress enough how much I relate to his whole shadow dilemma from a perspective of chronic illness. I am shaking you, reader. Please understand. I don't care how flawed this guy is or the fact that Clare might not have intended this interpretation, this is my form of projection like everyone else has theirs and it is so comforting to me, as someone who also struggles to feel in control of my own body, who exerts control over other things in other ways just to cope.

This is one line of consistency I draw from Goatface to Helen of Troy to the James of TLH. Now, moving on...

We see that in TMH that Will and Tessa have been trying to get through to James for ages to try and coax out of him what his problems are and why he is acting out. I discussed this once with an old writing partner, how when the Herondales learned of the Carstairs coming to London to save their reputation and required their help, that Will and Tessa likely approached James and demanded he be on his best behaviour so that they can help the Carstairs. For if the Herondales tried to help while James himself was out ruining his reputation, then the Carstairs would surely be doomed.

And so, we have the image of The Perfect Gentleman™ developed over the next few months ready for the arrival of Sona, Cordelia, and Alastair Carstairs in London. This coincides with the fact that over the summer (after the winter period when he had his wild streak and the spring when he would have been getting his heart and act together) he did not go to Idris to see Grace for the first time in years and the bracelet's hold on him was weakening significantly, which I believe, would mean less of the heightened hurt and insecurity surrounding the topic of love for at least a little while, because he would simply care about Grace (in a romantic sense) less. Who knows? Perhaps becoming the model gentleman was his form of revenge against Tatiana and others, because if he conforms and commits heavily to Shadowhunter society and the rules of propriety, then he cannot be faulted for his heritage so easily by that point. Plus, this is much easier to follow when he thinks he has total control over his shadow abilities at that point in time. For about six months, he can simply put it out of his mind (and get extra weird about interacting with Downworld and how he feels about it. This also brings me to a side tangent about how I think his interest in the occult is the little demon/magic intrigue he allows himself in private where only his friends are likely to be aware of the books he keeps. He says, if I recall correctly, at some point that he finds it fascinating what mundanes think of magic and how close or far they are from it sometimes, and I propose there's like this secret third thing to it about how he likes looking at magic and demonology from the perspective of a third party -- someone who is not Nephilim or of Downworlder origin, because it is the closest kinship he might find).

Also, let's not forget how much people in real life, let alone characters, can change over a period of time, much less several months to a year. I truly do not think his character is as inconsistent between books as it is made out to be. I think the real issue is that Clare left out elements of context that would have helped when characterising James and his journey, hashing out who he is and who he is not. I think another blog brought it up once, how TLH should have been multiple books and not just a trilogy. I agree, I think the dense character work would have benefitted from being more spaced out, particularly when exploring the bracelet in regard to James. Because the James after Chain of Gold especially feels rather like a blank slate that Cordelia is usually projecting upon. Which is valid. I have another theory about this, where the reason James was suddenly the It Guy at social gatherings was because he had "cleaned up his act" in the recent year and the bracelet meant that he was a blank canvas for the girls of the Enclave to project their desires onto. Perhaps it's an allosexual thing, but I know of myself and many others who tend to form crushes on people we know next to nothing about simply because they're beautiful and we make things up in our head based on what little knowledge we have, and the gaps are filled to suit. In Chain of Gold, it felt very purposeful, and the changes between James while wearing the bracelet as opposed to without was much more noticeable.

Genuinely, I think Clare dropped the ball once she got to Chain of Iron, and then dropped even further when writing Chain of Thorns. But still, for the sake of outlining the consistencies of James' character rather than the flaws, we'll ignore my personal frustration with those books and continue on.

We still see his insecurities manifest in various ways throughout TLH. Before we get to that, I'd like to point out that James remains clever throughout this series, always introverted even if he knows how to navigate social situations better now, forever a bookworm, loyal, but no longer so much of a people-pleaser as he seems much more prepared to be an adversary in any given situation as well as embrace rebellion, which I think gets overlooked a lot (do you see how quickly he goes "lock up your daughters and your greenhouses, James Herondale is on the loose and has a penchant for property damage etc." after getting in trouble in Chiswick? I swear, this guy had my heart in a chokehold). LIKE. CAN YOU NOT SEE IT? The way he is still the same guy we saw in TMH? His personality did not change so drastically that he is someone else -- it's still him! He's still there! He's just evolved over the months! And here we are, this is one such place where his insecurities are still pronounced, but in such a way where he tries to own it, to control it, once again.

And in spite of all the Herondale traits James definitely carries, he is still not the typical Herondale like Will and Jace or even some of the others we've seen. James is also Tessa and her trauma and Jem and his teachings and his father and his legacy, and he is influenced by disaster (hello? He was thirteen when he saw another dead kid? Got diagnosed with Greater-demon-for-a-grandfather? Has been brainwashed since fourteen?).

Remember how ready he was to believe he was a murderer? That's his insecurity and history talking. These horrible nightmares he's been having too. James tried so hard to be a hero, and yet he believes he inevitably ends up being someone against the heroes. He is surprised when Cordelia says he's the leader of the group because that's not how he sees himself. And this is what I find so fascinating about James. There's how other people see him, and many people see him differently, and then there's how he sees himself. (I will note that I find the idea of the Merry Thieves having any sort of leader laughable. I truly feel that's not how their group dynamic works. It felt like an excuse for Cordelia to fawn over him (as you do when you have a crush on someone) and have that weird shoe-horned on-the-nose moment where James goes to comfort Thomas and waves the others over when Barbara dies).

Most of what I have to talk about admittedly deals more with Chain of Gold, simply because kind of got lost between Chain of Iron and Chain of Thorns. He's still there, and I still see the strings of his personality, I think Clare just let some of his key character issues fade into the background. Also, I still only read Chain of Thorns once. I haven't been motivated to pick that one back up.

One thing I do like about Chain of Thorns though is that James was allowed to be the bad guy, even if it was via being a puppet for Belial. There was something almost cathartic about him crowning himself King of England. He didn't save the day; Cordelia did. James was merely fulfilling a prophecy he had made for himself.

Also, we don't get to see much of James without the bracelet. I think he's still trying to figure out who he is now that the curse is gone, then after Belial is gone and so are the main aspects of his warlock abilities. James has to redefine himself beyond many of the securities he held (so fucking mad that the "technically I did only love once because it was always Cordelia under the curse 🤪" happened because it would have made more sense for James to also break through that insecurity, but whatever).

In conclusion... um, this guy's just neat? I think he's beyond interesting. People who say he's boring and blank, I hear you, I just can't say I totally agree with you. He's my favourite character. I'll make all the excuses. I just wrote this to try and defeat the idea that his personality is inconsistent because I think it can be argued that it actually is not when you consider, well, all of the above. Anyway, I spent almost the whole day writing this. Whoops.

My other favourite characters are Matthew Fairchild, Cordelia Carstairs, Jem Carstairs, Magnus Bane, and Ragnor Fell. Love them all so much. I love a great many characters but these ones most of all.

Ships? Look, as much as I will criticise it and absolutely agree with other critiques of them, I love Jordelia. I project on and relate to both characters, what do you want from me. Also, I keep saying I have no faith in TWP and that I will not be actively seeking it out but... I do like Kit and Ty. Sue me. The drama is so delicious. For ages though, I've been wanting an equally juicy lesbian ship, I feel like the ones we have just... aren't it. You know? I think there was a missed opportunity in making Cordelia bisexual and a girl crush for Grace. OH BUT I ALSO LOVE GRACE AND LUCIE. SHUT UP, SHUT UP, I LOVE THEM. THEIR DYNAMIC COULD HAVE BEEN BRILLIANT.

Anyway, The End. That was a very long gush.

#james herondale #the last hours #tlh #tales from the shadowhunter academy #the midnight heir #tmh #herondale #character analysis #I have now thoroughly exposed myself and the amount of brainrot I experience over james herondale #a character who many share many complaints about #and complicated views #WARNING: very long post #this was an oddly healing exercise #I should ramble endlessly about things I love more often

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l4nasl1fe · 10 months

Text

content <3

Genre: Angst, Fluff.

tags: anakin skywalker, fluff, angst, cute, star wars, fem!reader

warnings: suggestive jokes, light cursing

(this is my first time writing a fic / oneshot so please don’t judge my writing or my format 😭 sorry in advance if this is crap. also i hope you don’t mind the small font, i rlly like it)

It was a particularly cold day, the sun shining on your back but not providing any warmth. You sat on the couch in your apartment with your legs crossed, book in hands, reading through your novel of cliché romance. It was silly and childish, but you did this in your free time whenever Anakin was in his Jedi training.

You guys never put a label on your relationship, but your relationship had all most of the qualities of dating. It had been like this for a while and establishing a label would be stressful due to the Jedi code forcing both of you to live in secret, but you always thought it would give you closure. You thought about how maybe if you guys established an official relationship, he wouldn’t be able to run away from you as easily. Not that you thought he would run away, but it would ease your anxiety to know that he was yours, and that you were his.

Nevertheless, almost a month after your peculiar relationship blossomed, Anakin hadn’t asked you to be his girlfriend, he hadn’t even talked to you about potentially putting a label on your guys’s odd relationship friendship. Maybe you should be the one to bring up the topic? You shook your head as you realized the deep rabbit hole you were falling into by thinking about it, so you went back to reading your romance novel, which was ironic because you used romance novels as a way to feel temporary closure in yours and Anakin’s relationship, and the books indirectly led you back to feeling a lack and incompleteness in you guys, but you still read romance novels anyways. You shivered as cold air flew through your open balcony, making your skin slightly sting, and you pulled a decorative blanket over your body, soon falling asleep with your book in your hands.

A knock was sounding at the door but you were fast asleep, dreaming about everything and nothing. The knock got louder and more persistent, until it stopped, and was replaced by the sound of spare keys jangling, and the door cracking open. Anakin walked in to see you sleeping on the couch, and he grinned, making sure to close the front door quietly. He walked towards you and picked up the book from your hands, carefully bookmarking the page you were at, making sure he didnt crease the pages or be too loud, and finally he picked you up and carried you to your room, setting you on your bed. He sat in the chair next to you, quietly admiring how beautiful you were, how the sun hit your face and made your skin glow, how peaceful you looked when you were asleep, and when you woke up you were startled by his presence, not knowing when he came in.

“Anakin?” You rubbed your eyes groggily and asked, “why are you here and what time is it?”

“I wanted to see you, I was knocking on your door but you didnt answer even though I saw your ship out on the deck and knew you had your day off, so I was worried and used the spare key you gave me. Also it’s 5 pm.” He answered, grinning at you.

“I don’t have a clue why I gave you that spare key,” you responded.

“Because I deserve it, the only right answer.” He replied with a smirk on his face.

“Give me it back.”

“Why should I do that?”

“Why do you even have it?”

“Because you gave it to me.”

“Okay smartass, obviously I know that, but I mean we aren’t even dating so I don’t understand the point of you having it,” you retorted a little more violently than you meant to come off as.

The expression in Anakin’s face flickered with confusion and he stepped towards your bedside, kneeling down so he could be face to face with you.

“Hey, did I do something wrong?” He asked concerned.

“No, no. Its just we’ve almost been whatever we are for a month. We have almost every single component of a relationship yet we aren’t dating.”

“Whats wrong with that,” he replied, tracing the palm of your hand with his index finger, “you and I both know we’re exclusive so why do we need a title to define who we are?”

“I don’t know Anakin,” you looked away, “it would just make me feel better. Like you won’t be able to run away or be taken from me as easily. I just know you’re avoiding the label and I don’t know if it’s something wrong with me, or..” your voice trailed off.

Anakin’s gaze softened, and he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“No, no, nothings wrong with you,” he pulled your head into his chest, and then brought your face away to look deep into your e/c eyes and press your forehead against his.

“Then what is it?” you persisted, “what about our relationship is it that you’re so afraid of to the point you can’t even think about putting a label on us?”

He chuckled before responding, “its really stupid. Embarrassing, actually.”

“What is it, big man isn’t so big after all?” you teased, looking at his scoffing face.

“No actually, big man is big, but I guess you’ll just have to see for yourself someday,” he smirked at your blushing face, “but in all seriousness, I don’t know. I just think I’ll ruin your innocence.”

“My innocence?!” you laughed. “I work for the senate, everything I see going on in this galaxy is the farthest from innocent it can get.”

“Hey, I told you it was stupid. But you’re this perfect, beautiful, wonderful, amazing, strong woman, who I like so much that I’m afraid I’ll rid you of any innocence you have and make your life stressful.”

“I read romance books. I’m not as innocent as you think, Anakin. Just because I’m a girl does not mean I’m fragile.”

“Oh, now I want to see what you’re reading, Y/n,” Anakin got up to go to the living room but you tackled him onto the bed, pinning him down, not letting him go to the living room to get your book.

“So…” Anakin looked up at you, “did you learn this from one of your books?” he said grinning.

You rolled your eyes and got off of him, laughing at his immature joke. “Nice one, no I didn’t you jerk,” you play hit him.

He grabbed your wrists to stop you from attacking him, and the room tensed, the air suddenly getting heavier, as he looked into your eyes, leaning in, his soft lips pecking yours. The intensity of his gaze almost startled you, and you were desperate to break the silence, his face looking as though he was having a conversation with himself. You opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off, speaking first.

“How about we put a label on it?” He asked, smiling.

You didn’t express how happy you were in that moment, but in your mind you were doing a million backflips and jumping with joy. You smiled, kissing him back, “I’d be fine with that,” you mumbled against his lips.

He kissed you again, removing the grip on your wrists, and your insides ignited with love, warmth, affection, and closure. He pulled you into his chest, and you traced his fingers with yours, finally feeling relieved that you would no longer have to wonder about the “what if’s” of your relationship, and everything was okay. You could stay like this forever, head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. Soon your eyes fluttered shut to the music of his breath, and after ages of conflict and war in your head, at last, you felt content.

#anakin skywalker #anakin imagine #anakin skywalker fluff #light angst #fanfic #star wars #star wars fanfiction

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toh-tagteam-au · 2 years

Note

Is Hunter still going to be aroace in your au?

EDIT: I’m going to be sticking with Aro Hunter going forward, and I appreciate all the replies to this post! I’m keeping this up for personal reference, but just a heads up I’m no longer unsure.

Original answer below:

----

Im glad you asked this because I've been wanting to make a separate post about this since Labyrinth Runners but I kept chickening out. Apologies for the wall of text in advance.

Full disclosure + some context before I get into it: I really like keeping Tag Team as close to canon as I possibly can. It's why towards the beginning of development I kept certain plot points open ended. I'm lucky that I didn't have to retcon any comic parts that were already posted pre-season 2b (the next few updates would have been ruined by some of the reveals in Hollow Mind, so I'm kind of glad I waited).

I never really expected Hunter to get into a relationship/hint at attraction at all back when it was season 2a, so I was comfortable having him be aroace since the chances of it being conflicting with canon were slim. I was in the group of people who were like "there's no way his character arc would have that much time/it would be rushed/wouldn't make sense if it did happen" etc. Plus, I'm aro myself. I was kind of excited to do a storyline that sort of reflected my own experiences with attraction and lack thereof. And I liked the ships that fandom brought forward, but I wasn't expecting them to move past the crack-ship category. So again, I felt secure in my canon-compliant-ness of Hunter's aro-ness.

But season 2b introduced the REALLY INTERESTING concept of Hunter and Willow actually being canon somehow. Or at least Hunter being attracted to her in some way. I was fascinated. Their actual canon dynamic is GREAT!! Teen soldier who was introduced as a hard-ass gets blushy at a school girl who can and would kick his shit in and is implied to not even think of him romantically yet. Not to mention the whole narrative catharsis at seeing a clone of Caleb, notorious husband of a witch, also falling for a girl. I love it SO MUCH!

So that brings me to an unfortunate choice I was sort of hoping you guys would help me with?

On one hand, I love Hunter and Willow. I love that they're implied to be a potential thing and that they'll have more dev in season 3. Their dynamic is my jam and it makes so much literary sense that they'd have chemistry, not to mention it just brings out the best in both of their developments in canon (Willow being a nervous shy girl with no self esteem turning into someone who can and will kick the emperor's ass to save her friends, Hunter being a heavily abused high ranking child solider turning into a blushy mess in front of a strong girl). I just love it. Nothing about his sexuality has come up in-comic so far, so I wouldn't have to retcon anything to make that a thing in TT.

On the other hand,,, I've already said that TT!Hunter is aro on this blog. I've sort of built up/mentioned this pseudo-romance arc he was going to have around the Grom episode. A lot of you seemed super excited about him being aro back when I first mentioned it, and I don't want to disappoint you guys and fake you out by being "surprise!!! he's allo!!!" I guess I could have him be Demiromantic or just ace to keep that vibe of aspec, but I don't want it to feel like a consolation prize either.

So it's this unfortunate back and forth between me really liking Willow and Hunter/wanting to keep things as canon as possible, versus sticking to what I've said out-of-universe in the past. I kind of get the sense that both options have their own baggage – I'm unsure if the aro hunter vs hun//tlow discourse is as intense as my dash makes it out to be since I try to avoid it and I generally like both options, but choosing one kind of feels like I have to choose a side. So I wanted to ask you guys what you think/want to see.

Feel free to reply to this post, say ur opinions in the tags, or send me asks on what you think. I probably won't respond to all of them, but I'll definitely read them all and take them into account.

#ask #not comic #should I tag with the ship tag? for filtering purposes?#I feel like this ship gets enough discourse in their tag #ask to tag

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lizard-shifter-noms · 8 months

Text

Wayward Waters Chapter 5

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Hello everyone! Chapter 5!

time to explore more of the world!

this Story contains Vore, Dont like dont read.

have fun reading!

and as always Reblogs are appreciated! (Also ASK’s are open so feel free to bother me!)

AO3 Link for those that prefer the layout there;

AO3 Wayward waters

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I missed home, but right now i had no idea where the fuck i was.

Only that I was on some island with a big ass eel pit that injured one of the Crewmembers of the ship I had landed on somehow.

And now I was sitting on a slope in my Giant form with a Birdlegged Maniac who was used as a pillow by a sea serpent.

In all honesty? Fuck.

The last I had seen of my friends was in the storm that had thrown me off the ship I was supposed to be on and now one of the guys that found me and said he'd help me was out of commission.

I glanced over to Jamie, who had given up trying to remove Imugi’s head by now and was just lying there.

They looked sad, but not sad sad, rather the kind where one tried to hide they were sad.

I looked around for anything helpful but the only things I saw were more rocks, some sand and a few palm trees which were barely the length of my under arm.

Palm trees hmm…

A VERY stupid idea came into my head.

I slowly stood up so as not to startle them and walked over to the nearest tree, a dingy little thing that had broken almost in half by the storm.

Wouldn't make it for long now anyway and was only holding on by a thread.

Good thing too, Robin would never forgive me if I ripped out a healthy plant.

I positioned myself so that they couldn't see and tried to get the tree as quietly as possible, which was only half successful.

“The HELL you doing over there? I swear if you do something shady I will get the paint bucket we have on board and pour it into your nostrils!”

That had to be the weirdest threat I had ever received, and I lived in the same castle as Nea.

Man, I even missed her too, how absolutely stupid.

Whatever, I put the tree in my hand so it looked like it grew out from there before turning around.

Holding the hand with the tree up so it could be easily seen.

“Look, Palm tree”

Jamie made a choking noise before starting to full on laugh, keeling back over while Imugi looked confusedly at them before slinking back into the ocean.

“Your jokes are so bad I don't even know why I'm laughing at them!”

I just shrugged.

“Maybe they're funny because they're bad? Or your sense of humor is just as bad as my jokes”

Jamie made a noncommittal noise and I sprawled out on the grass where I was.

“Yo Kitty cat, how tall are you? You're like as tall as Imugi is long”

How tall i was? Well human form was around 5’10, for the giant one i could only guess.

“Uhh dunno? Like thirty feet? I can't exactly measure myself easily like this”

I heard shuffling and turning my head to look. I saw that Jamie had taken the measuring rope which had kind of started all of this mess with Ronan.

“Well then, hold still and I can check! We already went through so much chaos to get this stupid rope that we might as well use it!”

Well, fair.

“Yeah, it would be nice knowing how tall I am exactly, Is the rope long enough for that?”

They shrugged.

“Only one way to find out, also this thing is like fifty feet or so if not i can still measure twice and use math to figure it out”

They walked up next to my head with one end of the rope, setting it down on the same height as my scalp.

“Can you use your thumb to hold this end to the ground? I think id just drag it away if i tried”

I nodded and pressed the end of the rope into the ground while Jamie walked along my side down to my knees, counting the feet as they went.

I did wonder how tall I actually was, so far I had just estimated myself to be around thirty feet but I wasn't sure if that was accurate.

Probably not.

I did my best not to move as Jamie walked along my side, both to not mess up the measuring and to not startle the Bird Legged weirdo.

“FORTY FIVE FEET!”

I sat up abruptly at Jamie's shout, seeing the sun already low in the sky.

“What? Forty five? That's fifteen more than I thought!”

Huh, then again I had never really had anything to accurately measure myself with.

“Yeah! Forty five! You must be bad at math!”

“Does math have anything to do with me misjudging my height?”

Jamie flicked the rope and started coiling it up.

“Well according to some nerds everything is math somehow, So who cares?”

Well, I was the first to admit that there was a lot I didn't know, but everything was math? Who came up with that?

“Well, what now? Are we stuck on the island? I'm sure my friends worry about me and I'd like to get to them as fast as possible! And Ronan needs an actual Medic!”

Jamie tilted their head at me, and for a painful second I was reminded of Oakley, god I missed all of them.

Especially Robin.

“Well, bringing Ronan to a doc, an actual one not whatever Imik and Akeem are doing would come first, but the doc is also back at our base and we need to go there anyway for the map n’ shit.

So i guess now that our Captain’s injured well probably go there faster anyway, so i guess you get your wish”

Harsh, but true.

“Well i did want to get home as fast as possible but not like that, i hope he'll be okay, he will be okay right?”

Jamie just shrugged and waved to follow them, which I did, slowly.

“I'm sure he'll get over it, it's not the first time he got bitten by a electric eel, just never so many, also he managed to get through a fuckton of other weird injuries, so yeah hell be fine, he don't got enough brain for it to be damaged further anyway”

So Ronan would be okay in the end, good to hear.

“Hey! So you can shift into that fuzzy thing and into a giant right? Do you have anything more portable than that? Well be faster if you're not so fucking oversized”

Well, yes, but I hadn't done so because I hadn't trusted them thus far, but if we could go faster…

I waited for a moment that Jamie was looking forward to the boat and then turned the Gem on the bracelet, shrinking down to my human size.

The next time they turned to face me I was already back in my human form and they let out a startled screeching noise that grated in my pointy ears.

“You could do that the entire time? What the fuck! You should have done that sooner!”

“Well, i didn't know you guys, and i'm less likely to be stabbed as a giant creature, also the entire thing with my second heart starting to work and i didn't know if shifting would fuck it up even more”

“...Fair point, let's get back on the ship and jumpscare Imik!”

“What? Why? And why Imik?”

“Cuz Akeem can't be scared, also it's funny seeing Imiks Webbed ears Flare up in alarm!”

So just for fun then, yeah that was okay.

“Well, as long as it's okay I don't see why not, but shouldn't we focus on getting Ronan to the Doc you mentioned?”

Their face lost the mischievous touch.

“Ugh yeah fair, let's go on board and toss Imugi the Halfter so she can tow us away from the island”

They walked up the plank to the Boat and I followed behind,

almost slipping one time as the wood was slick under my feet and the Orange tinted sky made weird shadows.

“If you fall in i will laugh”

“If I fall in, I will make sure the splash hits only you!”

As stupid as being stuck away from my friends was at least the banter with Jamie was a little funny, they were gruff sure, but not malicious.

“Come on Kitty cat! Help me toss the tow thing to Imugi!”

I followed them up to the front of the boat where a variety of stuff was bolted down or straight up Built into the ship, like the box in the front.

The Box looked to be lockable and Jamie yanked out a weird construction of rope and metal, the front part reminding me of the thing they put into the mouth of a horse to ride it.

Then they tossed the front half into the water and hooked the part still on the ship into a pair of curved metal things that were bolted to the boat itself.

So that was the thing Imugi used to tow the boat! Interesting.

“Did you know that Imugi is named that because Ronan kept her in a mug for the first two weeks of her life? Apparently she was TINY! And ‘IN MUG’ became Imugi at some point”

What? That sea monster used to fit in a mug? A bucket I could maybe believe, but a mug?

“She was that tiny? Wait, why was she kept in a mug?”

Jamie shrugged.

“Orphanage probably wouldn't have taken kindly to a sea monster in the house, he left after Imugi got to big to hide, somehow got a boat and a bunch of idiots to help him out”

“You're also one of those Idiots, you're aware right?”

They waved me off.

“Yeah yeah, whatever, to get on this ship you gotta have a few screws loose anyway, and even more so if you end up staying”

Well, at least they were self aware.

There was a sudden tug on the boat and I leaned over to see what it was.

Apparently Imugi had found the tow thingy despite the Ocean getting dark before the sky and was slowly dragging it through the water, Boat and all attached.

Jamie hopped down from the railing and walked towards the stairs, the movement of their legs reminding me of a strutting pigeon.

Yeah, I'd better never mention that, as funny as the mental image might be.

I followed them down the stairs back onto the deck.

“Do we need to steer the boat if Imugi is towing it?”

“Nah, she knows where to go, she's not stupid she’ll know that with one of us injured the best thing to do is go Home”

Well, that was relieving, I doubted Jamie could steer properly, or even if so that they would do so in a normal way.

The sound of a door opening drew my attention while Jamie walked up the mast to the crows nest again.

Turning my head around I saw that it was Akeem, who softly closed the door behind him.

He looked at me unblinkingly for a moment, could he even blink? and then carried on past me as if nothing was amiss.

He opened a hatch in the floor and pulled out an Telescope, hit the mast one time and then tossed the thing up where Jamie caught it in their claws with a single leg.

Impressive, I had to admit that.

Despite their insane shenanigans they managed to function pretty well as a team.

Once again I was made aware of my own friends not being here with a pang.

I hoped i could go home soon, they were nice yes, but i'd rather go back to Tunstead and the Castle in Kamerasca.

Akeem then turned to me and I once again wondered if the guy had to blink at all, him being completely, well, Stone faced.

“Ronan is alright for now, we will head to Kariba Island as fast as possible to get him proper treatment, then after we have brought him to a doctor we will see that we find you a way to get home”

“Thank you so much, can I help somehow? I'm not good with boats or medicine but i can move heavy stuff”

The stone man shook his head.

“We are alright for now, should we need your help i will let you know”

With that he left again and went into the boat.

Huh, thus far I haven't set a single foot into the ship itself, eh whatever.

Also Kariba Island? Hadn't heard that before.

I wondered where on the map that was and what the island itself looked like.

Eh, I'd find out soon enough.

Soo… what to do now? I was stuck on the ship with nothing to do, and I did not want to sleep just yet as i was not tired.

I did not like that, it gave my brain time to think about Home which made me miss it all the more.

I Looked up the mast to the crows nest at the top.

One could probably see pretty far from there.

If Jamie could climb it with sweater covered hands then surely i could climb it normally!

I went up to the wooden structure and tried to jump up as far as possible only to slide right back down despite my best efforts to hold on.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Came Jamie's voice from above and glancing up I could see their head looking down at me.

“I'm trying to climb! Maybe I'll get lucky and see something I know!”

As unlikely as it was, it would at least distract me from thinking too much.

“Well you're doing a shit job at trying to get up here!”

“Help me then!” “Nah, watching you struggle is funnier”

I rolled my eyes at the retort and tried again to get up, only to slide down again while I wrapped my legs around the mast and held on with my hands.

“How the fuck do you do it? And with fabric covered hands no less?!”

“Hah! I'm just used to it! Tell ya what! If you can get up here with no help I'll give you one of my shiny pebbles!”

I was about to retort that I had no use for shiny pebbles when I saw what Jamie was holding up.

A whole ass Ruby the size of a thumb, partially obscured by the sweater which still covered their hands.

Even in the weird light of the late evening it was clearly visible, especially against the blue fabric.

Well, admittedly i had no need for it seeing as i lived at the castle but damn if that wasn't enticing.

“Where did you even get that?”

“Sometimes I help Imik crack open Boxes from sunken ships! So I get to keep some of the stuff!”

Huh, true sunken ships might contain treasure but one had to get lucky to get anything good.

“Alright, I'll get up there somehow!”

I tried to scale the smooth wood again and this time managed to get a little higher than before but fell down regardless.

“One should think that a guy able to turn into a giant cat could climb better than that!”

Well, true, but the Ardua form had claws…oh wait.

Jamie also used their claws to climb! Granted their bird-like feet were already better for climbing but maybe I should use my nails instead of trying to hold on with only my hands.

Yeah, I think I figured it out.

I slipped my shoes off and put them in one of the bolted down boxes so they wouldn't get lost and then went back to scaling the mast.

This time it worked! Without shoes and using all of my nails to grip better I actually managed to climb slowly up!

“Now you look like a monkey instead of a cat! Good thinking though!”

I looked up for a moment at Jamie's dumb comments and saw I was a little over halfway up by now.

Only a little bit to go!

I went at it and was nearly to the top in no time, noticing it was nearly dark now, damn how slow was i at climbing?

Then my hand slipped.

Before I could slip more or even fall Jamie's clawed leg had gripped my upper arm.

They pulled me up on the horizontal beam and I hung there for a moment like a piece of fabric.

“Ugh”

“Ayy you made it! Congrats!

You don't have to lay there like a wet towel though!”

Ohh this was a bit higher than i had originally thought.

I clung to the wood and tried not to think what kind of injuries I'd get should I fall from up here.

I also tried to calm my breathing and erratic heartbeat.

Well, heartbeats now, at least they were in sync now.

I decided to stop looking straight down and instead looked at Jamie.

Huh, they had made the vantage point into an actual nest, sticks included.

There also was a variety of knicknacks lying around, including some valuable looking things like gems and gold.

They held out a mishmash of shiny and glittery things in a cracked wooden bowl, still covering their hands with the blue sweater.

I wondered what was up with that but decided against asking.

Not my business, and there might be a reason as to why.

“Well, ya made it! As promised you get to pick whatever you want from the shiny stuff in the bowl!”

I continued to cling to the wood with all of my limbs but still peered into the bowl that Jamie held out to me.

There was the aforementioned ruby of course, which glinted despite the sun being almost gone by now, but also a variety of other stuff, some of which were fossils?

One in particular caught my eye, It looked like a crystalized sea star about half the size of my thumb.

The crystal itself was a pretty shimmering opal with hints of green and blue as well as orange.

Well, that would be one hell of a souvenir, and Fable said he liked stars so it would be perfect.

I pointed at the crystalized sea star, still clinging to the wood to not fall off.

Instead of handing the thing to me directly Jamie stuffed it into a little bag with a long cord and put it over my head like some sort of necklace.

“Now you don't lose it!”

“Thanks? I think”

They shrugged and leaned back in the surprisingly roomy nest-like build.

“Hey?”

“Hm?”

“How the fuck do i get down?”

They sat up again and looked down to the deck.

“Uhh, i just slide down or climb down, not sure if you'll manage that though”

“I'm NOT doing that, especially not now that it's getting dark! Please tell me there is some other way down?”

They stared at me.

“Well, only other way down would be to just fall, but i think that's worse for you”

Yes, yes it was.

“Oh fuckdamnit, what do I do now?”

“Eh, im sure Akeem will think of something tomorrow, or Imik though he's better at diving”

I looked at them with a deadpan expression even if most of that was probably lost in the slowly encroaching darkness.

“And what am I supposed to do now? I don't think I can cling the entire night to this piece of wood!”

“Uh, right, gimme a minute to make some space”

They haphazardly shoved anything pointy into one corner of the nest and then pulled me into it.

Despite being only four feet four at most they were pretty strong i had to admit that.

No wonder Imik asked for help cracking open old boxes.

I just flopped face first into it right where I was, shoving a handful of seashells away from where my head rested.

“I think this was a stupid idea, but quite frankly i don't care right now”

“You're laying there like a wet cat, have some dignity Kitty cat”

I just rolled my eyes at them and pulled my legs into the nest as well.

“Whatever, after climbing im too tired to care, you can wake me tomorrow you overgrown chicken”

With that i faced down again and used my crossed arms as a pillow.

It was only a minute later that I felt a clawed foot on my back, and then another.

Jamie settled on top of my back with what sounded like a very quiet chirp.

I was pretty sure for an onlooker they looked like a broody hen right now.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“You're warmer than the floor”

“Then get blankets or something, im not a fucking matress”

“You are now!”

With that they settled where they were and I could literally feel them poofing up like a little bird.

I gave up with a sigh, it wasn't worth the energy, Besides, it wasn't hurting me.

“Whatever, but if you fall of because i move its your own fault”

“Yeah yeah, i've fallen down before, its no that bad aside from the sprained toe i had once”

I just grumbled something into the floor.

“Hey, you good?”

“...i miss my friends, the last they saw of me was when i went overboard”

“Oh… well we are headed to get a map or whatever, or maybe there's a faster ship that will take you onboard?”

I just grumbled something into the floor, suddenly feeling worse than ever about being so far away.

“Hrmmmm”

I buried my face in the sticks so Jamie wouldn't see the tears in my eyes as I thought about what my friends could be doing right now.

Were they searching for me? Or did they already think I was dead?

Robin would surely push for a search but Rikaad, well, he usually only thought logically, and searching for me when I might be dead and he had something else to do wasn't logical.

He still had to stop the deserter fleet from Maringand and try to deal with the pirates.

And Arthur had no idea what even happened, he probably thought we were all on the boat doing stupid stuff.

My hands gripped one of the surrounding sticks and squeezed it till it broke.

As I buried my face even deeper into the sticks, which weren't as uncomfortable as expected, I felt Jamie move off of me.

They did not say anything but I could sense them right next to me.

Suddenly there was the sensation of a hand raking through my hair.

The hand was coarse, almost scaly and the fingers seemed to be tipped with claws.

Jamie's hand? No wonder they hid them in the sweater, people aren't nice to anything they deemed dangerous, and claws definitely counted as that.

I didn't move, or even make any attempt to glance at their hands to see what they looked like exactly.

The only thing I did notice was the number of fingers, five.

So definitely not like Oakley.

I kept lying there unmoving as Jamie detangled my messy hair somewhat, picking out salt and other stuff found in the sea that had gotten stuck there as I fell into the water in the storm.

The word preening popped into my head for a second.

As much as I did not want to admit it, the sensation of claws gently scratching at my scalp was strangely soothing.

I maneuvered my arms to be around my head so I could hide my face even better.

Just as Jamie didn't want me to see their hands, I didn't want them to see the silent tears running down my face.

God, I missed my friends, even Nea.

Despite having a person next to me who I was on good terms with, I had never felt lonelier.

Maybe because I finally knew what it was like to have friends and didn't want to lose that.

I tucked the arm with the bracelet under me and shielded my face with the other.

I stayed like that and let Jamie mess with my hair until I fell asleep, not once giving in to the temptation of looking at their hands as curious as I might have been.

I was who knew when later awoken to shortness of breath and a slap to the face.

I sat up abruptly, panting and gasping for air.

I looked around frantically, not recognizing anything as my sight refused to focus, leaving everything blurry while hyperventilating.

I gripped at my chest, feeling both of my hearts beat wildly and making the thumping sound echo in my ears.

Then I got a second slap to the face and my eyes finally focused somewhat.

“Whh?”

“Man you almost fell off! Are you okay?”

I looked at the person talking to me, noticing frizzy hair and a blue sweater.

“I- uh, Jamie?”

“Yeah! Who else could get up here?”

My brain was working too much and too little at the same time and I felt nauseous.

“Dude calm down, i don't want to slap you a third time”

I rolled over and dry heaved, actually glad to not need to eat right now.

“Do I need to get Imik or Akeem?”

I shook my head, still feeling awful.

There was no mistaking the way my limbs shook and my mind reeled with Images id rather not remember.

“No… im- im fine, just give me… some- some time okay?”

While I never had one prior it didn't take a genius to figure out I just had a panic attack, and even now my hearts were beating like mad in my chest and I felt weak, trying to steady my breathing.

“You don't look fine, what the fuck happened?”

I could sense them poofing up next to me while I leaned my head on the rim of the nest.

I closed my eyes tightly to try and banish the Images of corpses on a bloody field and an Injured Fable.

When that didn't work I opened them as looking at the ground way below me was better than those images.

“Hah… Panic attack, when i got tossed overboard i left the medicine from Oakley in my cabin”

“PANIC ATTACK? You don't think mentioning something like that beforehand would be a good idea? You would have fallen off hadn't I grabbed you!”

I groaned and tried to calm my shaking limbs and racing hearts.

“I never- never had one before! Didn't think i- id get one”

Suddenly a hand shoved my chest down again and a pillow was shoved under my head.

“Lay down dumbass, i'm going to get Imik”

“Wh-?”

Before I could say anything they had started climbing down already.

So instead I let my head sink onto the pillow and tried to calm down, repeating the breathing exercises I had shown Robin so long ago.

Breath in four seconds.

Hold for seven.

Then out for eight.

God, all of this sucked.

At least without needing to eat, I didn't have the problem of throwing up.

The random dry heaving wasn't any more pleasant though.

I rolled onto my back to the best of my ability and just stared at the blue sky, my vision still a little blurry.

I decided to lay there with shaky limbs until Jamie came back.

I felt absolutely awful, I never wanted this again, but I had no hopes of this being a one time thing.

I dug the heels of my palms into my eyes in an attempt to make the flashes of Images stop, not keen on reliving the moment Oakley Burned like a dry leaf.

Or the time Fable fell into the river after he got shot in the foot.

I rolled to my side and tucked my knees to my torso, dry heaving again which caused uncomfortable muscle spasms in my abdomen.

My two hearts were still beating wildly, but at least they were in sync now.

For the moment I just lay there trying not to get another panic attack and waiting for Jamie or whoever else to help me get off this stupid mast.

While I lay there I could hear the sound of metal thunking against wood and I closed my eyes tightly as it happened again, curling up and putting my hands over my ears as the sound came again, being horribly reminded of the sound the Arrows had made when they hit flesh.

Luckily the sound stopped as I was about to start hyperventilating again, but I still couldn't bring myself to move, staying where I was, curled up and with shaky limbs.

I was vaguely aware of Jamie being back and Imik also somehow being up here.

Akeem was probably too heavy.

I tried to look at them through my unfocused eyes but only saw blurry shapes.

“Its okay, calm down”

I heard one of them speak but through the white noise in my ear I could not tell who it was.

I flinched away when I felt a hand touching me.

“AKEEM! TOSS ME THE STUFF!”

Stuff? What stuff?

The blurry shapes moved and I could make out one of them leaving my line of, very blurry, sight.

Judging by the amount of yellow I could make out it was Imik.

He held a stick or something under my face before breaking it in half.

I smelled something weird, like an overly sweet plant but with a slight hint of rotten leaves.

It made my head swim and my thoughts blur together into a deep thrum.

My limbs feel heavy as well and I lost whatever little focus I had in favor of the fogginess.

Shortly after that my entire vision went black and I was back to being unconscious.

NEXT / PREVIOUS / OVERSIGHT

#sstc #lizards writing #vore story #giant/tiny #Sea of Barmea #mentions of panic attack #mentions of injury #mentions of death #ocean #Ship #sea serpent #sea monster

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