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#father and son moment of bonding over hating that asshole
imadewritingmyjob · 11 months
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Father and son... Reacting to something... But what could make such normally imperturbable men be so openly disgusted?
Only one answer:
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I swear that's all I could think about when drawing... XP.
Here, get the full meme experience.
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amigac0debasic13 · 6 months
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inhaling so heavily so so heavily,, hey guys its me im back. ninjago. This is just a huge rant about me HATING how trauma is handled in this show. ignore this if you do not want to see my HORRORS.
WHY. IS TRAUMA NOT A FUCKING THING IN THIS STUPID ASS SHOW. Im on another rewatch because im FUCKING INSANE but it drives me actually mad that there are so many downright horrific things that happen to these characters that are just NEVER addressed. lets talkabout the fucking first one that caught my eye when I was first watching the show!!! Im basically going from least infuriating to most infuriating, im trying to cut this show some slack but dear god. !!WHY IS COLE OKAY MAN. HE LITERALLY DIEEED. HE TURNED INTO A GHOST. listen Iknow ninjago death means nothing, and im going to talk about that too but he literally could have ceased to exist if he so much as touched water. after he got his body back, why was this never FUCKING mentioned. I think. if I was in a perpetual state of being horrified my existence would amount to nothing and id just stop BEING when I touched some clear shit coming out of my sink id be pretty scarred for life. I loved possession man, but this happened to TWO CHARACTERS. TWOOO. AND THE OTHER CHARACTER IS LLOYD. lets not even MENTION that hes been exploited the moment everyone found out he was a green ninja, and before that a bunch of grown ass people were bullying a CHILD WHO IS ACTUALLY HOMELESS, lets talk about how his fucking body was taken over by Morro while he ALSO worries about his DAD BEING STUCK IN THE FUCKING UNDERWORLD. IM LOSING IT. IM LOSSINGG ITT. On a smaller note, MISAKO ABANDONED LLOYD. KILL HER. I am the hashtag misako hater garmadon deserves better. The show made no attempt for them to bond or try to make amends for what happened when Lloyd was a kid, she barely appears at all really and it just makes me fucking despise her. ALSO MORRO. this kid. reminding you, CHILD, fucking died in a cave. the cave we SAW in the pilot, if i remember right which is FUCKING INSANE>,,?? we SEE HIS SKELETON. THAT IS A CHILDS SKELETON. never mentioned again after episode 8 I don't think. now the MEAT. THE MEATT. whatever the FUCK went on with garmadon after he got resurrected. They actually did cover this a bit with how Lloyd acted around garmadon, but crystalized also sucked ass and really gave us nothing on how Garmadon felt about this. on god im so sick that hes so normal shaped in crystalized too, He was literally growling with every breath in sons of garmadon why is he normal now. Its been years, i get it. also the Garmadon comic. but he SHOULDNT be a normal person whos just an asshole, I want him to be feral okay?? ok??? I am playfully gesturing to Devils Horns by TeuthidaRegina (did i spell that right. idk man. Its a super fucking good fanfic.)
ALSO Vinnys apartment is very inaccurate there should be scratch marks on the walls and then they should kiss. ANYWAYS Besides this, Lloyd being mad at Garmadon was really all we got for how *he* was effected by his once loving father now randomly coming back with his ribs exposed and only being able to say like. 3 words. and also him immediately trying to kill Lloyd. I feel like we should have gotten a LOT more man. Now this isn't really a problem with the show (Its a huge problem in crystalized but that's a given) but more a problem with the fandom, so that's why I'm putting it at the end. this does not hold relevancy over garmadon becoming a BEAST. (also garmadon becoming a beast is the best thing that ever happened in this show btw. you all are wrong and he should have been animalistic from the beginning. still nice. but he should have also growled. all the time.) My issue is with how people portray harumi. I already had my Harumi spout in a post I made earlier, but I only mentioned the toxicity of the ship with her and Lloyd a little bit. Let us THINK BACK on how she literally feels nothing for Lloyd at all. He was a stepping stone in getting Garmadon back, and she probably straight up hates him. She pretends to like him to manipulate him into helping her resurrect garmadon ok?? do we understand?? Ive seen actual tags on AO3 that say "no harumi hate here" and I am so done. all the harumi hate. dont FUCKING talk to me if you want to justify the downright horrendous things shes done. That ship is toxic as hell and Lloyd is downright being abused AGAIN for like the FIVE BILLIONTH TIME IN HIS LIFE. I dont care man. shes an abusive bitch. i HATE HER. Crystalized made the worst fucking decision trying to justify her and I genuinely hate whoever thought that was a good and right decision to make. If she comes back in dragons rising i hope she dies AGAIN, but Im honestly rooting for them to ignore crystalized's existence. Now finally, this is the absolute peak of how Ninjago shittily handles trauma. the ICE EMPEROR. Zane was stuck in a fucking hellscape of a realm for like. what was it. EIGHTY YEARS??? he went fucking mad man, he turned into a bloodthirsty tyrant during that time. and when this seasons conflict was fixed with the "power of friendship" the show literally mentions that the ice emperor is STILL INSIDE ZANES NOGGIN. AND WHAT DOTHEY DOO?? THEY MAKE IT INTO A FUCKING JOKE. its honestly almost disgusting to me how they handled it, Zane has DIED BEFORE. that's bad. he should have trauma. BUT Zane LITERALLY HAS A BLOODTHIRSTY KILLER IN HIS FUCKING HEAD. DO NOT JOKE ABOUT THIS SHIT. ACTUALLY. HE SHOULD HAVE SOME RELUCTANCE TO USING HIS POWERS OR SOMETHING, ANYTHING MAN. HE KILLLED AN ENTIRE RACEE. Genuinely this is one of my favorite shows, and I love adding onto the shaky ass plot and making it better, but I cannot DEAL with this. Im going to throw in the shit that happened in the spinjitzu brothers book, because oh my god Wu and Garmadon should be fucked up with all the stuff they have had to deal with for like. 5 thousand years. but its fine. its okay. its the book series. I wont mention it. (that book series is so good please release the final book please) ((I LOVE wu and garmadon they are some of my favorite characters in the ENTIRE series im blinking my eyes at you. please go indepth on those two. also give Wu a dragon form, or an Oni form, or literally anything he IS NOT HUMAN.) Also if anyone tells me im ignoring skybound its because I do not need to say anything about skybound. we all know what happened. we ALLL know what the fuck they did to Nya. and fucking. mister possibly a pedo creep man who does not care about consent. I dont even remember his name thats how bad I hate him .
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cryptidclaw · 2 years
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RoC BrambleSquirrel rewrite
Brambleflower and Squirrelflight’s relationship in Rise of Change. This is so long. I'm so sorry.
This is a really long summary of how i changed up squirrel and Bramble’s relationship in the second half of the new prophecy. Bramble is a lot nicer in RoC hence his name being Brambleflower, buuut he still makes a lot of mistakes and has an asshole era! I also changed up the way Squirrel reacts to Hawk a bit! 
Also I don't mention this in my like two pages of writing below, but I overall want Squirrel and Bramble to be more likable as a couple, I want fun moments where they are cute and stuff! Making them a cute couple who actually have chemistry makes it more believable that they could be good together, and makes it understandable that they would even want to get back together after breaking up!!!! Anywayyssss enjoy my rambling BrambleSquirrel rewrite
It goes like this, Bramble is desperate for familial connection, ya he has his mom, but he wants to connect with other family members who understand what it's like being related to Tigerstar. Bramble also has really bad insecurities about being Tigerstar’s son and he fears that everyone hates him/ doesn't trust him because of his father. He also has a bit of abandonment issues because his dad was evil and left him and then his sister left too. Bramble still has his relationship with Tawnyclaw but she can be distant at times, and I feel like he is still a bit hurt by her leaving. When Hawkfrost starts talking to Bramble he is overjoyed, and is excited to have a relationship with his brother. 
Squirrel gets an evil vibe from Hawk, but she has no proof of him being a bad person, and he’s not doing anything inherently wrong, so Squirrel just pushes this feeling aside. She mostly does this because she sees how happy Bramble is to have a connection with his brother, and she doesn't want to ruin that for him, just because she has a bad feeling, instead she just keeps an eye on Hawk. 
Squirrel calls Hawk out when he says he doesn't think Onewhisker should be leader, which causes Bramble and her to get in a tiff, but that does not end in them breaking up. It does however make Bramble more insecure with his deep fear that nobody trusts him.. 
Things really start getting worse in their relationship when Hawk helps in the coup against Onewhisker’s leadership. Bramble believes Hawk when he claims that he was only doing what he thought was right, and that Mudclaw was lying about him wanting to take over the River Order. On the other hand Squirrel definitely sees right through Hawk’s lie and she is pissed that Bramble refuses to see how much of a lie it is, and how wrong Hawk was to start the coup. They are at odds about this and this is what causes a rift in their relationship. Bramble is too hopeful about having a brotherly bond, he wants to believe that his brother is a good person, he really cares about Hawk, and it hurts him that Squirrel does not trust him. Squirrel is mad at the fact that Bramble refuses to see the truth and will back a cat who tried to take down Onewhisker, and wanted to take over the River Order. 
Bramble is also being influenced by his brother and Tigerstar during this time, and this only ramps up due to his and Squirrel’s disagreement causing him to feel not as supported by her, and wanting to find support elsewhere. Tiger and Hawk feed into his insecurities and make Bramble feel even more insecure about people hating him for his father, which does not help his and Squirrel's relationship.
Bramble has this weird obsession with wanting to be deputy, this is caused by him wanting to prove himself and be liked by his Order, missing being the leader of the journey cats, and him getting a big head over many of the cats around him, including Tallstar, saying that Bramble should be deputy. This is only fed into more by Hawkfrost and later Tigersta,r this coupled with his worsening relationship with Squirrelflight is what leads to what I like to call Brambleflower’s asshole era. 
Bramble is an asshole, he is obsessed with becoming deputy, and he is starting to get very short and rude with Squirrelflight, getting more and more defensive over his brother. Squirrel tells him that she doesnt think that he should be deputy, hes young, naive and there are other cats more fit for the position, this of course deeply upsets Brambleflower, resulting in them getting in a fight where bramble accuses Squirrel of thinking he shouldn't be deputy because of his father, and this fight ends in them breaking up. 
Bramble deep down knows that he is wrong, Squirrelflight does not think less of him for his father, and even more so Bramble knows that he doesn't deserve to be deputy, which is exactly why he is lashing out. Deep down bramble also knows that his brother isn't trustworthy and he should not be spending time with Tigerstar, but he is in very deep denial about this. 
Squirrelflight still loves Bramble and she is heartbroken that he is acting like this, she knows that he's really going through something but he refuses to communicate and get better, so she knows their relationship can't work like this. She has been friends with Ashfur this whole time, and when she and Bramble break up Ash swoops in to try and court her. Squirrel and Ash do end up dating after a bit of Ash not so subtly trying to get with her, and Squirrel mourning her and Bramble’s relationship. Ash is a kind of obsessive boyfriend and he’s nice and all but Squirrel doesn't looove him, and after a while of them dating Squirrel breaks up with him realizing that she's not over Bramble and doesn't like Ash that way. Ash does not take this well and now has a vendetta. 
During this Bramble is made deputy! Sadly for him this does not fix all of his mental health issues like he thought it would, also Squirrelflight is dating Ashfur which sucks… and even after Squirrel and Ash break up, Squirrel and Bramble still dont get back together. Bramble starts to feel a lot of doubt about his choices at this point, he realizes that he's really not that good at being deputy, and he is starting to realize how bad it is that he’s hanging out with Tigerstar. Hawkfrost is also starting to show his true colors more and more, and Bramble is starting to admit to himself that Hawkfrost isn't actually a good person. This all culminates in Hawkfrost having Firestar be trapped in the fox trap and telling Bramble that this is his chance to become leader! This is what proves to Bramble that Hawk really is evil, and they get into their fight, Bramble wins, but he doesn't kill Hawkfrost, Hawk just runs away. 
After this Bramble has a full blown breakdown, realizes that he's been wrong this whole time and that he has been consumed by his desperation for power and want to be liked. Bramble decides to step down from his position as deputy, knowing that he is not fit to be deputy, and to actively make the decision to stop his pursuit of power before it gets worse. Firestar makes Ashfur deputy in his place! After this Bramble works hard to be better and improve himself, after a while he explains what he was going through to Squirrelflight and she forgives him, though she tells him that he needs to work hard to prove that he will never be like that again! She will not hesitate to break up with his ass if he goes back to acting like that!
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lovinkiri · 3 years
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Okey, hear me out plz. Could you write about Sero, Tamaki, and Bakugou (separately) having a girlfriend who has psionic powers (like the Scarlet Witch) and she is Hawk's protégé. He like to think that he's like some kind of father figure for her so he's suuuuper caring and when he sees her having a smoochie moment with them he goes in PROTECTIVE FATHER mode and he gives the boys the "father talk *ejem...threat*"
Thank u you beautiful living being🌈🧡
Father Figure
Author's Thoughts: I got you bby! I don't write for Hawks so I hope he's at least a bit in character. I hope you don't mind its not headcannons.
Warning: Mentions of violence, threats, etc.
Hanta Sero
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You were always like a child to Keigo. The child he'd figured he'd figured he just wouldn't get the chance to have. And though your quirk was different from his, he did a great job training you.
He put in the work, the research, getting to know your quirk. He read records with people of similar quirks, got in contact with those around, all so he could accurately train your ability. He wanted to be the best he could for you.
You grew up so quickly in his opinion. Too quickly.
From graduating high school, to headlining as his sidekick. To finally having a boyfriend.
Keigo was hesitant to meet this boyfriend of yours, but you'd told him how much it meant to you. And he'd do anything for you.
So he played as nicely as he could, staring at you and the boy you sat with.
"So.. Sero.. Are you planning on being a hero?" Keigo looked him up and down with a gaze full of judgement.
Hanta gave a nod, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "Yeah. I've always wanted to be a hero. I actually attended UA with Y/n." He looked at you and seeing your smile almost melted the tension.
Almost.
"Hey, Kid, could you go order me something to eat?" Keigo asked you, smiling innocently. Almost too innocently.
You gave him a look. He simply leaned his cheek against his palm, blinking owlishly. "Pretty please?"
Sighing, you stood up and nodded. "Got it. I'll be back." You leaned down and pressed a small kiss to Hanta's lips, something that made his smile tighten.
You looked at Keigo and pointed at him. "Play nice. Pretty please?" You crossed your arms. He gave you a sigh and a nod.
So you hesitantly walked away.
And the smile dropped from Keigo's lips.
"I'll just be straight with you, Hanta. She means everything to me. And if you value life itself, you'll treat her like she's everything to you. That girl doesn't love loosely, so this is nothing short of a honor- no, a privilege for you."
Hanta straightened out, nervous about Keigo's sudden change. "I-I understand, sir.."
Keigo gave a nod and leaned back in his chair, smiling again. "Well, I should hope so!" He chuckled softly.
That's when you walked over. "Here. I got you nachos. Did you two find something nice to talk about?"
The man with wings took the nachos. "Thank you, Chicken Wing. We sure did." He looked you Hanta who stiffly nodded.
You, having common sense though, put two and two together. "... Keigo, I asked you to be nice!"
"The nicest thing I can do for you is make sure he treats you right."
Tamaki Amajiki
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Tamaki was afraid.
You'd told him all about Keigo, how protective he could be. And the only thing you'd promised was that he wouldn't touch him.
You and Tamaki were planning a trip to a nice resort.
You'd needed to grab something from Keigo's house, so Tamaki had to sit downstairs with said man.
Well, Keigo sat down. Tamaki stood in the corner, as far as possible. But he couldn't escape Keigo's glare. And if looks could kill..
It wasn't like he had a problem with Tamaki. He knew Fatgum, and the man hsd told Keigo all about his two sidekicks.
In fact, Keigo noticed that just like you'd become a daughter to him, Fatgum treated his sidekicks like his own sons.
The two often bonded over photos they kept in their wallets, sharing stories. Two parents bonding over their children, that's what everyone else saw.
It was from talking to Fatgum that he knew Tamaki wasn't a bad kid. That doesn't mean he wasn't gonna have a talk with him.
"Listen, Kid. I don't hate'cha. You're one of Fatgum's sidekicks and you seem.. Harmless enough."
Tamaki was sure it that should have offended, but Hawks continued either way.
"But when she needs you, I gotta know that you'll be there for her. She doesn't need you to protect her but if she ever does, I gotta know you'll do it. Take good care of her. I'd hate to end your whole career."
It wasn't like he had a problem with Keigo's orders. Tamaki loved you and would never let anything happen to you. Hell, he'd promised himself he'd be a man for you.
Keigo gave the sweetest smile and Tamaki shuddered, moving more into the corner.
It was the threat that scared him. He didn't know if he meant he was gonna kill him or if he was going to destroy his rising hero career.
You finally came downstairs with the object you needed. "Alright, I'm ready-.. Tama, are you okay?" You walked over, concerned.
"I-I wanna go home.."
You glared at the winged man and crossed your arms. "Keigo!"
Keigo leaned back into the couch. "Thanks for visiting you two, it was a pleasure havin' ya."
Katsuki Bakugou
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Keigo was doing an autograph signing at the mall, just where you and Katsuki just so happened to have your date.
"Why do you think everyone is crowding over there?" You asked Katsuki, looking towards the crowd of people surrounding Keigo.
You'd thought his signing would be at another mall, not knowing that the venue had been changed last minute.
"No clue, don't care. Probably some big sale or somethin'. Why, you wanna check it out?" He looked at you, the arm around your waist pulling you closer.
You smiled and shook your head. "Nah. Let's just go to the bookstore then head to the park. Oh, actually, I'm gonna use the bathroom first."
You leaned up and gently kissed his lips, him blushing and returning the kiss in embarrassment.
When you pulled away, he mumbled under his breathe. "Idiot, you can't just catch me off guard like that."
Giggling softly, you winked at him. "Nobody saw. They're all crowded around that big sale."
"Tch. Like I care if anyone sees."
With a grin, you went off to the closest bathroom.
What you didn't know was Keigo was watching you through the crowd of people. He looked up to everyone around him and gave them a charming grin. "I will get back to autographs in a moment. Please, grant me a break though."
The crowd seemed disappointed but left him alone and allowed Keigo to walk off.
He approached Katsuki quickly, who paid more attention to his phone.
"Ahem. A moment of your time."
Katsuki looked up and his eyes went wide at the sight of the number two hero. "Hawks? Was that you over with that crowd then?"
"Yeah. I see that you've been headlining. Haven't seen your face this famous since the sports festival." Keigo chuckled, taking a step further.
Katsuki nodded. "I'm making moves, on my grind. Doing what needs to be done to make my mark."
The pro hero nodded and put a hand on his shoulder. "Well, you're doin great. There's just.. One thing."
He looked at him in confusion. "One thing..?"
Keigo pointed towards the direction you went in. "That girl you were just with. That's my little girl."
The red-eyed boy looked, following his finger. "Um, yeah. She told me."
Then there was a sudden tension.
"And so.. You understand why I won't tolerate you're bullshit."
"...What?"
"You heard me. You're older, so you're probably not the same brat. But from what I hear, those asshole tendencies are still there, and I won't tolerate it when it comes to that girl. You won't hurt her. And if you do, we're gonna run into a bit of trouble."
Katsuki shook his head. "I.. I wouldn't hurt her." Normally, he feared no adult, minus Aizawa of course. But Hawks was looking at him like he was prey.
"Damn straight, idiot." Hawks chuckled softly.
That's when you came back over. "Sorry babe. Oh, hey Hawks! What are you doin' here?"
The two of you shared a hug. "What's up, Nugget? I was signing was autographs. You two?"
You pulled away and grinned. "Katsuki and I were on a date. This is great, I've been meaning to introduce you guys."
Hawks gave a nod. "Interesting guy, he is. But I should get going. Have fun on your date. And Katsuki, have her home by nine."
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fanfictionroxs · 2 years
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Amazing things that the Not Me storyline has given us:
1. The bis, the gays, the trans and no straights. 😏😂 Single queers ready to mingle 😏😏😏😌😌😌
2. Peek Romance starring:
SeanWhite: Falling in love at first sight with wide terrified but gentle eyes, but in super denial because you think they belong to that asshole you hate when in truth they belong to the twin brother of said asshole who's your future brother-in-law DAMN IT!
DanYok: STALKING. MORE STALKING. POINT A GUN AT YOU, CUFF YOU, SEARCH YOU, DRAW YOUR NAKED, FUCK THE POLICE
ToddBlack: HOMOEROTIC DROWNING and then calmly explain that since the nation is distorted, that excuses you smuggling drugs. Now let's go hatefuck. Wait why are you pointing the gun at me again? And repeat.
GramBlack: Doesn't exist in show, but go to YouTube and Archive of our own and you'll find them. Soul mate fics, emotional fmvs and rants will quench your thirst for Titanic.. I mean GramBlack.
BlackEugene: Exes. Broke up, seem to be still pining over each other, one dances for justice, the other sets houses on fire, but they get along, might be endgame if show doesn't decide to kill my darling child of the night for shock value 😤😭
3. The twin brothers and their connection:
And no, I don't mean the Magic connection that lets them feel each other's pain. I mean the love and the bond and the brotherhood they have that connects them. That's the true magical connection between Black and White 😢
4. Vigilante Activists.
Basically if you have to define the gang in two words, it's CHAOTIC GOOD. They don't mind breaking laws, because they do it for justice and equality.
5. GARAGE GANG DAD
Guuummppaaaaaaaaa
Father knows best. No seriously he knows everything, but is happy to sit back and let his kids figure it out. Happy to adopt new puppies and teach them how to become tough individuals with a strong sense of justice.
Though I'm still side eyeing the fact that he didn't try to find my Black baby 😤
6. Focus on societal issues with well written dialogues:
I loved the scenes between Gram and Nuch and White and between the guy who White met during the interview. Watching White's progress on the show was amazing because he goes from this privileged kid who thinks the system works, to being this confused individual who starts to question the world around his and finally becomes someone who understands the truth and fights for change. And I think so many of us have been like White at some point in our lives. Unaware, but not bad. All we need is to look around or have someone show us the truth and guide us onto a better path. White, who has always been under the control of his father, finally broke free thanks to the help of the gang and found a better path.
The scenes between Yok and his mum showed us how she is treated as a differently abled individual while also presenting her perspective on vigilantes and how it impacts the little guys who get fired. Heart breaking moments, but so real because this is what actually happens in the world.
While the mother-son scenes between Yok and his mum were wholesome, the mother-son scene between White and his mum were not so much. Again, very eye opening dialogues that show the mindset of corrupt law enforcers. They are supposed to be on our side, but as Black said "Power is corrupting".
Todd and Black in episode 11. I can never get over their scene. The dialogue, Black's entire being which was so passionate while also trying so hard to make Todd understand, the dialogue, Todd's denial because he's happy with the way things are just like Black's mum, the dialogue... aahhh perfection! I showed this scene to my mother and she was impressed and I tell you, that is one lady who is NOT easy to impress. This scene made me fall a hundred times harder for Black and I've already been in love with him since episode 1. 😍😂
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fruitcoops · 3 years
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i feel like you write really good arguments, as a few people have brought up before, where the parties make mistakes but own up to them and acknowledge the other side. Same thing with Captain Sirius- his reprimands are always respectful. It feels mature and just well-thought out. But we know Sirius wasn't always like that, because he came to dumo's house knowing arguments=violence. Would you write a fic where Sirius learns how to argue/captain? maybe from Dumo-the-parent? Does that make sense?
Father-son bonding on this fine Thursday! I love it! SW credit goes to @lumosinlove <3
Dumo’s phone rang halfway through his lunch, which wasn’t unusual, except for the fact that it was Sirius calling and not…well, literally anyone else. Sirius seemed rather allergic to his phone—text replies often went unanswered for an average of 3 hours, and he wasn’t sure he had ever managed to reach Sirius on the first ring. Concern flickered in his chest and he lifted it to his ear.
“H—”
“Oh, thank god,” Sirius said, breathless. “Hi, hello, it’s me—uh, it’s Sirius—and I was just calling to ask for some help because I’m the captain now—you know that, what am I doing—and I don’t have a fucking clue what to do and I’m kind of—”
“Sirius,” Dumo interrupted as soon as his astonishment faded. He had never heard Sirius say so many words in so little time. Silence fell on the other end of the line. “Sirius, are you still there?”
“Yeah. Sorry.”
“Okay, take a deep breath, then tell me what you need.”
Another beat of quiet passed. “So, I’m the captain now.”
“You are.”
“And the guys really like you, but I don’t even know where to start, so I was hoping you could give me a hand with this.”
“With what?”
“How do I make people like me?” Sirius asked, sounding uncharacteristically timid.
Dumo paused, confused. “They already do.”
“But I’m the captain now. They have to like me more, right?”
He pinched the bridge of his nose, torn between laughing and laying down to stave off a headache. “Why don’t you come over and we can talk in person, alright?”
“Right.” Sirius cleared his throat. “Right, yeah, about that.”
“Sirius. Are you—are you currently on my porch?”
“…maybe.” Dumo closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “It’s kind of cold out here.”
“You have a key.”
“I thought it would be rude to just let myself in.”
“Oh my god,” Dumo muttered, rising from his chair with a huff. The autumn wind howled as he opened the front door, stripping the trees of their leaves and turning Sirius’ cheeks vivid red as he stood on the top step with the phone still at his ear and anxiety written all over his face.
“Bonjour.”
“You can hang up the phone now.”
Sirius bit his lip and slid it back into his pocket, waiting awkwardly until Dumo motioned him inside and he hurried out of the chill. “Thanks for picking up, by the way.”
“Of course. I’ll always pick up the phone for you.” He guided him toward the kitchen with a hand on his shoulder. “Coffee?”
“Yes, please.”
Still so polite. The coffeepot was still warm from Celeste’s late breakfast, and Sirius’ eyes grew wide at the steam curling off the top when Dumo handed him a mug to wrap his frozen hands around before sitting across from him. “Back to business. Number one: the team already likes you, and you need no help from me getting their approval. Got it?”
Sirius nodded and took a sip.
“Number two: If you ever need my help, please don’t wait on the front porch in freezing weather when you could just knock.” A sheepish smile twitched at the side of his mouth and Dumo shook his head. “I won’t be responsible for your hypothermia. Now, what did you want advice about?”
Sirius let out a slow breath. “I don’t want to be the hardass captain that everyone hates. I just—this is an amazing opportunity, but honestly I just want my friends.”
Dumo hummed, even as his heart panged. “At the risk of sounding vague, the way to do that is to not be a hardass in the first place. Be a leader instead.”
“But I have to tell them what to do—”
“—and a leader does that the right way. There’s a difference between being a leader and being a tyrant. Push them to be better, but don’t be cruel about it. Set an example through the things you do, not the things you make other people do.” He touched the back of his hand gently and Sirius’ eyes flickered over. “Don’t lead through fear, but through respect.”
“I don’t know how.”
“That’s why you called me, non?” He waited until he saw the small smile return. “Alright, how would you approach a situation where one of your teammates is lagging behind in their speed trials?”
Sirius blinked. “Tell them to do better?”
Different tactic. “How did your coaches talk to you when you lagged behind in your speed trials?”
“…told me to do better.”
Orion Black, I will break your kneecaps the next time I see you. Dumo poured himself a fresh cup of coffee. “That may have been a strategy for you, but for someone who is already trying their best, it could be very discouraging. They might resent you for trying to seem better than them.”
Sirius’ brows furrowed. “But I’m not.”
“I know. But they wouldn’t. In my opinion, the best course of action would be to ask what’s wrong, and how you can help. It might not get better overnight, but that teammate will trust that you can help them with their problem and will know that you care about them.”
“So I should just let them fail for a while?”
“You push them toward success gradually, and don’t berate them for any hiccups along the way. Failure can bring growth.”
His mouth set into a line of frustration. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“I’m not explaining this right,” Dumo muttered, chewing the inside of his lip. How to explain to the new leader of your team what leadership is... “Let’s put it this way. You want Pots and Harzy to run a specific play, but they don’t understand it. How do you fix it?”
Sirius started to answer, then closed his mouth and thought for a moment, staring into the depths of his coffee. “I…I would walk them through it section by section, because I know they’re smart, but they might have problems with different parts.”
Dumo wondered if the room had actually become brighter, or if the pride in his heart was just shining through into the real world. “Exactly. And afterward, when they get it right?”
“High-five and run it again.”
“Now you’re getting it!” Something more difficult... “What if Kuny and Nado won’t shut up during Coach’s breakdown?”
“Tell them to be quiet.”
“But then Nado calls you a buzzkill and starts whispering to Kuny, and giving you looks.” Sirius’ whole face fell; if Dumo wasn’t so committed to making sure he got it right, he would’ve felt bad. “What do you do, Sirius?”
“Apolo—”
“No. People don’t respect those who apologize every time they face pushback.”
“But you said I need them to like me.”
“You need them to respect you. They don’t have to like you at all hours of the day.” He poked him lightly on the chest. “It’s your job to keep the team in line, now, and that means being a bit of a buzzkill sometimes. Not an asshole. Just a leader. What do you do if they start whispering about you?”
Sirius scrunched his nose. “Tell them to cut it out again,” he said grudgingly.
“And if they don’t?”
“Can I make them run laps after the meeting?”
“Yep. How many?”
“Three, because I had to ask three times.” He frowned. “And they should run at separate times, otherwise they’ll keep talking. God, they really don’t shut up, do they?”
That’s rich coming from you, Mr.-Chats-with-Pots-24/7. He decided to keep his thoughts to himself—that wasn’t what today was about. “Good job, Sirius.”
“Really?”
“Oui. If you lay down the rules early, you won’t have to keep correcting mistakes. They won’t want to disappoint you in the first place.”
“I don’t want to disappoint them,” he said quietly.
“You won’t.” If there was one thing Dumo was sure of, it was that Sirius would be the best captain the Lions ever had. “Ready for the toughest part?”
“Yes?”
“Are you ready?” he asked again.
Sirius swallowed, then nodded. “Yes.”
“I don’t like the way you’re captaining this team.”
From the look on his face, Dumo might as well have whacked him over the head with a spatula. “What?”
“I don’t think you have the guts.”
A combination of hurt and anger flashed in his eyes. “Hey!”
Dumo prodded him on the shoulder. “You’re not going to be able to stick up for yourself when it comes down to it. You can’t say no to your friends.”
“I can!”
“Then do it,” he challenged. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
“You’re—” Sirius pressed his lips together and stood up. “Fuck you. I came to you for help—”
Dumo rose as well, leaning forward half an inch. “Then tell me I’m wrong. Tell me you can captain the shit out of this team.”
“You’re wrong!”
“Say it like you mean it!”
“You’re wrong!” Sirius repeated as his jaw set, louder. “I’m going to captain the shit out of this team and fuck you for thinking I can’t!”
“But I don’t like it!” Though they were both shouting at each other, Sirius’ defensiveness and timidity in the face of conflict were nowhere to be found.
“That’s not my problem!” His cheeks were turning pink again, but not from the cold. “I’m the captain, so you either listen to me or tell me what the hell your problem is!”
“There you go!” Dumo cheered, stepping around the table to crush him in a hug. “That was perfect.”
Sirius went still with befuddlement. “What?”
“You didn’t believe you could captain this team until just now, did you?” He stepped back and held Sirius’ shoulders, beaming. “You just did exactly what you were supposed to do. You cannot let yourself be pushed around if you want to lead and keep your friendships strong. I am so, so proud of you.”
Sirius stared at him in shock for a moment, then moved forward again and rested his chin on Dumo’s shoulder as he pulled him in for another hug. “Thank you.”
“You are going to do great things, Sirius. I’m just glad I could help.”
“I couldn’t have done it without you.”
Dumo smiled and patted his back, giving him a squeeze. “Yes, you could. That’s how I know you will.”
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hargrove-mayfields · 3 years
Text
Everyone likes to pretend Billy was never even there. Life goes on, people change, the past gets forgotten.
A year isn’t enough time for Max though. Right now it feels like the rest of her life wouldn’t be enough time, but Neil and Susan, they were doing just fine.
It’s almost like they like not having him around, that extra burden they couldn’t shake. The plan only Max knew was that Billy was going to stay at home until she was old enough to go with him so she’d be safe.
She knew he was fed up and looking at some local apartments within walking distance of Cherry Lane anyways, but then July happened, and Billy died.
Now it’s July again, and her hair is in twin braids of red with pure white ribbons on the end, and her and her mother are wearing matching blouses. There’s bruises under the bangle on her mothers wrist and one under Max’s own sleeve, and she just wants her brother back.
It’s a holiday they told her, her father (he’s not her fucking father, they never made her call him that when Billy was around) is a veteran, they have to celebrate. Better just dry her eyes and get over it.
Her mother invites all the family they have in the area over to their house for a little get together picnic, and they do their little happy family routine for a while, but Max can only handle so much of it.
Billy should be here by her side, flicking watermelon seeds at her face and putting ice cubes from the cooler down the back of her shirt, being an asshole to distract her from the reality of her family.
And that was that she didn’t really have one, a family. It was always just her and Billy.
Even at these events made for bonding with family, they were off to the side, messing around while the adults talked like they weren’t even there, and she knew she was a little naive then, but it stung more than ever, knowing that even after she’d lost her brother, nobody even stopped to say hi or check up on her, it was just straight into gossiping about the neighbors and those disrespectful bastards across the street who weren’t flying a flag for the holiday and family members who couldn’t be there.
But Max never heard Billy’s name come up even once, and not even in a respect to the dead boy and his grieving sister type of way, but rather, in the way that they just didn’t want to acknowledge his existence. None of these people had come to his graduation in May of last year, or his funeral two months later.
Billy was a taboo that the Hargrove-Mayfields didn’t dare taint their celebrations of freedom and justice with. The irony made Max sick to her stomach.
Or that was at least, until Neil couldn’t help himself.
His words are slurring already, with an excuse to party he’s on what Max would guess to be his fifth or sixth beer that afternoon, and someone just made the mistake of mentioning their own son, Billy and Max’s third cousin or something, and it spurs Neil off on a tangent about his.
“That boy was always good for nothing anyways. It’s almost the same now that he’s dead, ‘Cept maybe now I get some more quiet around the house.”
Nobody knows what to do when he says that, there’s a couple awkward laughs and one shocked gasp, that one was probably from her mother, but Max knows exactly what she wants to do.
What she wants is to watch Neil choking on his blood instead of her brother, his body being lowered into the ground instead of Billy’s, and in the moment she feels like she could be the one to make that a reality, but instead she just stands abruptly, a plate of the food her mother worked so hard to prepare for them she’d been too queasy to eat falling off her knees to the grass, and she says everything she’d bottled up for the past year.
“Don’t talk about Billy that way!
“Now, Maxine-“ Neil starts, but Max is livid, can’t hold back all the things she wished she had said before Billy died, when she got grounded after the funeral, when Neil started beating her, “No! I’m not going to let you do to me what you did to my brother! You don’t get to control me like you did him, it’s your fault that he’s dead!”
It’s her mother’s turn to try to stop her, slender hand covering her mouth painted red, “Maxine..”
“Stop trying to reason with me! I’m sick of pretending to be a family when I had to watch my own brother die! And I’m sick of being treated like I’m crazy for being the only one that cares about Billy!”
More than one person chimes in on that one, offended by the notion they don’t care about family, though it’s Neil that insists, in that faux calm, close to snapping voice of his, “We do care, Maxine. We’re all grieving in our own ways.”
She fires back, “Grieving what? The loss of your punching bag? You hated Billy! You don’t care that he’s dead, all that matters to you is having someone to hurt, and you no trouble adjusting to beating up on your wife and step-daughter instead!”
She catches a backhand to the face for that, and all the background chatter comes to a halt, Neil gritting out through his teeth, “Inside. Now.”
There are tears in her eyes that sting almost as much as the knuckle marks on her cheek, but Max feels like she won, getting her step dad all riled up in front of their family, she feels almost invincible, and she sneers all smug like and bitter, “I can’t go inside yet. I’m celebrating your service to our country, dad. You know, as a family.”
But when Neil's face turns as red as the blood that dripped from his wife’s nose the night before and he stands from his chair and drags her inside by the wrist himself, she realizes that it wasn’t exactly a win.
And when her brain goes numb trying to focus on both the repeated slaps and punches that explode like firecrackers across her skin and the way Neil is yelling and lecturing her until his voice is raw, giving her the same lessons her brother had burned into the back of his mind, she feels like she’s lost everything instead.
When she has to choke back her tears and apologize for embarrassing Neil and for making him hit her as punishment, she realizes, this isn’t a game that can be won or lost at all.
Max isn’t allowed to go back outside to the party. That rule goes unspoken, but words aren't necessary with the way Neil storms off without another word, slamming the back door behind himself. She’s slowly starting to figure out what the things her step father does instead of says mean.
She misses being allowed to be clueless, having someone to protect her or take what punishment she had earned. She wishes she wouldn’t have asked so much of Billy though.
Her own room isn’t safe anymore, what once had been the place she’d be ushered off to when Neil got bad had become more like a trap, the place Neil went to first when he was angry. Everything that had been hers felt wrong, so she goes to Billy’s room and doesn’t come out for the rest of the night. Even now that he’s gone, he still kept her safe.
There’s a welt on her face and fresh bruises forming everywhere, hot tears wetting her sunburnt cheeks and the pillows that smell like Billy, or at least used to before Susan decided his room needed cleaned and washed away every trace of her brother.
All night long there are fireworks going off, a big show put on by the city downtown has her shaking, unable to close her eyes for fear those distant explosions would take her back to the mall, bring back memories she’d never forget, and covering her ear with her hands.
The cracks and booms that shake her windows and her entire life, a headache and a heart break even stronger.
She tries her hardest not to think about Starcourt though, so instead she thinks about how Billy would’ve been proud of her for standing up to Neil. He would’ve called her an idiot, but he would’ve cleaned up her scrapes and held her through the panic attack after, and he probably would’ve liked to see the person Max was becoming too.
That makes Max’s heart hurt, the fact that he won’t get to. She cries harder, and she feels so alone without Billy.
Some part of her knows that she isn’t though. She isn’t the only one that lost somebody last July.
Hawkins’ cemetery was alive with flowers and wreaths and decoration, and more than anything the grieving. All of the victims had families, or in the case of the Holloway’s where their whole family was killed, they had friends and neighbors in the tight knit community who remembered them. El was still grieving Hopper, and Max knew Billy had people like that too.
Billy was popular, his death had a huge impact on the younger population of the town, but not only that, he had his closest friends, Steve and Tommy and Carol and Nicole and Adam from the pool, and of course Heather couldn’t be there, but those people were all keeping her brother alive.
As much as it felt like everyone was trying to forget him, they weren’t, and that brought Max a little bit of hope.
Hope that Billy would be remembered for the things he did right, and who he was behind the boy he had to be to keep them safe.
Hope that with his memory kept in the hearts of so many, the burden of grief wouldn’t fall solely on Max forever and make things a little easier.
Hope that the wound would someday heal, and she could look back on the time she did have with Billy, those seven too short years, with a smile on her face.
For now, she wraps herself in Billy’s jacket and comforter, listening to his music to drown out the distant fireworks, and dreams of the day when things won’t be like this, when she can leave Hawkins and all it’s bad memories and the “family” holding her back to live a life her brother would be proud of, a life that would honor his.
Max decides then with determination, flinching when a bright flash lights up her window, a loud echo through the quaint neighborhood, that she was going to do what Billy hadn’t been able to and break the cycle.
Tomorrow, she’d tell the school counselor she’d been assigned when her depression was at its worst all about Neil Hargrove.
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taki118 · 4 years
Text
Go Watch the Venture Brothers
So just heard the complete and utter Bullshit news that Adult Swim has cancelled one of (if not the best shows) they have the Venture Bros. This series is one of those shows that for WHATEVER reason never got to the level of fandom Rick and Morty has even though they’ve been at the genre parody game longer and in my opinion better. 
The series is about Rusty Venture former boy adventurer and failing super scientist who in an attempt to keep his head above water in debt goes around with his two boys Hank and Dean, and bodyguard Brock on misadventues while various legal archnemisis go after him, such as the Monarch. 
So if you never watched or never heard of this 7 season series let me give you a break down on why you should, 
1) Art Style & Animation
Venture bros is one of those rare Adult aimed animated series that that really truly tries to utilize their medium to the best of their abilities. Season 1 had like such a small budget and corners had to be cut so it can be a little hard to watch at times. 
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But with each passing season they get a little better, a little more fluid, go just a little harder and it truly feels rewarding to watch. Like seeing an artist you follow online improve over the years. Like they COULD have stayed with the choppy and stiff animation from season 1 it fit right in with its fellow adult animated shows but it didn’t. They strove for quality to have something that matched the story they were telling.
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2) The Writing 
Venture Bros has some of the tightest and consistently great writing of ANY serialized show I’ve seen, adult, animated or other wise. Wanna know why? Cause it’s all done by TWO people (save for like one ep each season where one other person is allowed to touch their baby). Yeah TWO people and they work their asses off every season to interject, humor, refrences, parody, plot and character development in equal measure. 
3) Character Development
Um yes in case you were wondering that’s right an adult animated show has CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT  that holds as the series goes on. Not to give spoilers but characters will go through changes in alignment, relationships will develop and change, some characters will go through negative arcs where they are straight up unbareable for a season before coming out the other side even better than they were before. There is no end of epsiode or even end of season reset. Characters, settings, and dynamics all change over the course of the show and it feels just so god damn good.
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4) Story Development 
Just like the characters the story of the Venture Bros grows and changes each season. Things that are set up even as early as season one are paid off as the series goes on. Like not to be that bitch but you know how RIck and Morty teases an overarching plot ALL THE TIME but like will often just spit in the face of fans hoping for more than like one episode a season addressing it? Yeahhhhhhh that doesnt happen here, fans are consistently rewarded for putting the time in to rewatch and really think about what happened in the series. Characters that are seen in the background or are just referenced by other characters will be brought in to be recurring characters, things that start off as a small detail or gag will be given larger relevance and each time they do this you get that “OH I remember that from last season! So thats what it was!” The writers WANT you to rewatch, they WANT you to analyze and they WANT you to theorize, and they give you a show that gives back the time you put in.
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5) Parody & Reference 
This series does a great thing with parody. They make real characters  who are just as enjoyable as the characters they parody, they make story lines that both poke fun at the absurdity of the media but shows the writers love for it. So often parody and references are just used to mock the thing but with Venture Bros you feel the love and care so when you know the thing being parodied you can laugh but feel good about laughing cause they are never laughing at a thing maybe you cared for in your youth but rather laughing with it.
And it’s never just one thing. When they parody a thing its often layered with other things to make it even more unique. Scooby-Doo is overlayed with famous criminals, Laura Croft is mixed Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, GI Joe is given the look of the Village People and so on. They never go for the easy joke or reference. Hell theres an episode that starts with them reciting the lyrics to David Bowies Space Oddity for really no reason other than they could. They weave these things in naturally with their setting and characters so nothing feels out of place. Like if you dont catch a reference or parody you dont feel like “I think this isa reference to something?” like a LOT of things do not just adult animated shows. You arent taken out of the moment cause it all feels so natural. 
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6) The Characters 
God damn these characters, I could go on for hours about these characters. From main to one off these are some of the most likeable characters you can find. I mean it when I say I can’t think of a single character I wish they had cut cause they are all so well created. Even the ones I hate i have fun hating cause they were made to be that way. I’ll be good though I’ll only talk about my absolute top faves.
- The Monarchs
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You ever sit and wish villain couples could have functional  healthy relationships? Well look no further than Malcom Fitzcarraldo aka The Monarch and Dr. Shelia Girlfriend (yes that is her last name). The Monarch is a high strung impulsive saturday morning cartoon villain whos tendency to over react is only matched by his unspecified hatred of Dr. Venture. And Dr. G is his nonsense partner in crime who will cut a bitch if they don’t play by their admittedly weird rules. Both characters are great on their own but are better together. Though that doesnt mean they always get along. Like a real couple they have their ups and downs they fight, break up, make-up and grow stronger in their relationship with each season. 
- Shore Leave
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Ok ok so I want you to imagine James Bond, mixed with GI Joe simmering in a cocktail of the most flamboyant gay men you have ever seen and you have one of my favorite gay characters/characters in general. Shore Leave is a member of OSI (the shows SHEILD/GI Joe parody organization) he’s loud, brash, flippant, sassy and highly competent at his job loving every second of getting to beat bad guys down within an inch of their life. I love seeing him play off the stoic Brock and the two have this great brotherly dynamic that’s never called into question. He also gets to have a very cute romance with Al the Alchemist (who is also great). I could talk about this man all day.
- Dr. Rusty Venture
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They did such a good job with this man. He’s a self serving, sexist, perverted, whinny, self important asshole and yet you feel pity and genuine sympathy for him and want him to succeed. You can see how Dr. V was given a raw deal by his father who seemed to care more about his adventures than his sons well being and how this molded him into the bitter man he is today, but on the flip side you can see where he chose to use that as a crutch for his worst behaviors and impulses. Seeing him slowly grow and change and be an actual good father to his boys while all the while still be a giant dick is actually really great. 
- Dr. Byron Orpheus 
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Ahhhhh Dr. Orpheus part Dr. Strange Parody part busybody stay at home dad, he’s just such a delight. Dr. Orpheus is a divorcee, with an unfulfilling job of maintaining order to the cosmos (which isnt as hard as one might think), and uses his magical ablities in ways most of us would (ie menial tasks and home chores). Overly dramatic and affectionate Dr. O is a delight whenever he appears, but he’s at his best around his daughter and old friends The Order of the Triad. 
Again I can go on but all these characters ranging from main to recurring are crafted with the utmost care for you to want to see them succeed or fail, to see them again even if you know it’ll never happen, and want them to cross paths with other characters. 
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The Venture Bros is one of those series that I will ALWAYS recommend even to the pickiest of humor tastes. But if you don’t believe its as good as I said or don’t think the concept is to your tastes I’ll recommend a few eps that I think best show off the base idea of the series without giving much away. In terms of plot and spoilers, though somethings wont make a lot of sense. 
- S1 ep10 "Tag Sale – You're It!" - Dr. V is having a yard sale so of course all manner of costumed weirdos show up.  - S2 ep5 "Twenty Years to Midnight" - basically a fetch quest around the world to save the planet with daddy issues - S3 ep2 "The Doctor Is Sin" - Again daddy issues but with one of the best recurring characters and a great showcase of the series deeper emotional plots - S4 ep6 "Self-Medication" - Really embraces the parody as Rusty goes to a former boy adventurer support group.  Anyway the show is 7 seasons with 80 episodes, please go watch it. I will never forgive @adultswim​ for cancelling what was to be their final season. And in closing GO TEAM VENTURE!
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black-rose-writings · 3 years
Text
Reading Siege and Storm because I hate myself
To begin, I’d like to state that this is my first read-through and I only have vague idea of the plot I’ve gathered from fanfics and tumblr posts.
Long post ahead
Chapter 1
So... at first I was like - huh, this isn’t as bad as I thought, but the moment Alina gets introspective, it all goes to hell.
Like, she’s being physically made sick by not using her powers, which is making her feel useless - like, she says, pretty much verbatim: “The only thing I was ever good at was being a Sun Summoner and I’m not that anymore.”
I’m gonna beat those paragraphs over the head of anyone, who says Alina got a good ending.
I’ve also noticed just how often the like “I pushed that thought away” is used and more often than not, it’s used on thoughts that should probably not be pushed away.
Ah, yes, here he comes, my boy Darkles, being the dramatic bitch he always is. We get it, you’re the hot villain, tempting the good and pure heroine away from being good and pure.
And I’m just now realizing how many times in this chapter has Alina lamented their lack of privacy. We have to ensure the reader doesn’t hink she’s *gasp* sleeping with Mal.
Chapter 2
What?
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Alina is tripping balls while being put under by a Heartrender, got it.
Darkling is being the voice of reason, but I’m getting the distinct feeling it won’t last.
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Ivan gets one point, because Alina is in fact a traitor, but he’s also being a cunt, so it doesn’t really count.
Alina at Sturmhond: Do you even care about Ravka?
Me at Alina: Do you?
Chapter 3
“Mermaids are not real”. I’m pretty sure they are in the Grishaverse.
My boy Darkles is still making sense, but Alina is dedicated to being against him just for the hell of it, it seems.
Did this bitch just throw a tantrum, because he told her, what we can assume is the truth? Okay. Like, I get that she’s at best 18, but still. Not exactly the type of protagonist whose head I like being in.
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And in that moment, dozens of smut fics were born.
Chapter 4
Wow, that was quick.
Aaand. What had just happened?
Chapter 5
Sturmhond is a funny bitch, I’ll give him that.
And this entire conversation, it seems like Mal’s entire purpose is to stand behind Alina threateningly and repeat what she said, lol.
I’d like to remind Alina (and LB) that a king in an absolutist monarchy (which is what Ravka appears to be) is very much a tyrant. Don’t make it sound like Ravka didn’t have a tyrant before. And at the very least, my boy Darkles seems pretty competent.
A man calling himself a Storm Dog likes dogs. No shit.
Chapter 6
I hate Mal. Dude, this is your girlfriend, maybe like... listen to her? Don’t bludgeon her with the one other guy she was kinda-sorta with, when you are a well known manwhore?
I don’t know man, I don’t like him.
Everyone: You can’t have more than one amplifier, it’s dangerous.
Alina: Haha, sparkles go brrrr
Chapter 7
In other news, pirates are funny.
Holy shit, they have a plane.
That was... a lot. And we’re crossing the Fold again, yay.
Chapter 8
You feel bad for the Volcra but not for the people you’ve left for dead in the Fold last time? Okay.
Baby Volcra. Am I supposed to say “ew” or “aww”? If I tried doing both at the same time, it would probably sound like one.
Jesus fucking Christ this book is a ride.
Did Alina really just have an “oh no, he’s hot?” moment? *sighs*
Puppy boy has a title longer than Daenerys, jesus.
Alina, my dear, you could have waited for a bit before doing that. There’s like thirty soldier with guns around you and you’ve just punched a prince.
Then again, you’ve never been smart, have you?
Chapter 9
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For once, I completely agree with him. I know you two have lost your one shared braincell on that first crossing of the Fold but still, that was very dumb of you, Alina.
I’m starting to get why people were calling Nikolai “Darkling light”. Definitelly seems appropriate.
Mal, calm the fuck down, that was the least romantic proposal I’ve ever heard and you know it.
You two didn’t even let Alina get a word in for the last page. What right do you have to her, Mal, huh? Nikolai is making sense and you’re being an idiot.
What’s your deal Mal? What the fuck do you want?
And why in the hell are you the endgame love interest?
That’s an awful lot of guilt-tripping you’re doing there, Mal. No need to be pissy about it.
Chapter 10
The bones thing is definitelly yikes.
Saints, Mal, are you on your period or something? Alina doesn’t belong to you. Alina can make her own choices. Get a grip.
“You think I’m like the Darkling?” Yes. The Darkling isn’t all bad. You’re at war. No need to get your panties in a twist over a few fingers.
Oh, look, Alina has a cult now, nice.
Chapter 11
Your “dad” is a rapist, Nikolai. Quite possibly a pedo. He got exactly what he deserved.
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I’d go for the second option. Especially after that stunt. Jesus, you could have asked her beforehand.
At least Darkles had the decency to make out with her in private.
Also like... why is every single person in this series so far an asshole?
Chapter 12
We meet the King again, unfortunately.
Alina gets Darkles’s old job.
This should be a total disaster, but let’s see where it goes anyway.
Chapter 13
Alina’s nuts, yay.
(I know they have a Force-bond-thingy. I also know they did it before Reylo did.)
Chapter 14
Oh boy, Alina’s not doing as bad as I thought.
For the 100th time in this book, I wish I had Nikolai’s confidence. Though it is getting a bit too much.
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Puppy boy is dropping some truth bombs. Nice.
But he doesn’t realize that my boy Darkles has very good reasons to not align with Fjerdans - a) they think he’s a demon and b) they want Grisha dead.
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I’m not gonna say she was, but like... the monarchy is very much corrupt.
Oh, boy, Baghra. This one’s gonna go well.
Yep, Baghra’s as pleasant as ever.
So... Baghra’s plan in book 1 really had been to just have Alina run away and hope for the best? Jesus Christ, lady. I’m not saying she deserved to have her eyes taken away, but she is definitelly a trash person and I’m not surprised her son turned out the way he did.
Also, I’m fairly certain that Baghra is literally slowly killing herself - that the reason she looks so old and frail is because she’s started to supress her power and it’s literally killing her, because, you know, she’s bonkers old.
Chapter 15
Nerd Alina > Self-pitying Alina
Also, I’m just saying, Alina comments on Zoya being attractive a whole lot - I get that she’s meant to be insecure, but I’m interpreting it as her being gay, because I need some happiness in my life, okay?
Just kill the sleazy old Rasputin-wanna-be. There’s plenty of them to go around in this series.
Chapter 16
Vasily takes after his father in creep factor.
Why not the Darkling being courted by a horny prince? Be a bit creative.
Chapter 17
Nikolai has big ADHD energy and I love him for it. Fits right in with the heavily autism-coded Fabricators.
*sighs at heteronormativity again*
*sighs at improper gendering of titles*
Date night with Mal. This is gonna be a disaster, isn’t it?
Chapter 18
Fun night of cultural appropriation, yay.
I hate cultists.
LET. ALINA. GO. FERAL. Please.
You two are going to give me a headache, I swear.
Darkles cockblocking Alina. And Malice threw a tantrum. Nice.
Chapter 19
You’re way too harsh on Genya, Alina.
Horny Alina rights.
They have a laser, now. Cool. Or, well, enormously hot.
Mal is being a drunk a-hole. Great. When does he become likable? Does he ever?
Banter between Mal and Alina? Kinda weird, always somehow comes back to either of them being insecure.
Banter between Alina and Nikolai? I’m all for it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a Darklina trash, but like... Nikolai is fun. I could see him and Alina having an arranged political marriage and ending up falling in love years into it, that’s all I’m saying.
Chapter 20
Just let this one go, Alina, please. You two are not working out. Please, end it with him. You’ll both probably be happier. (I’m saying this with the full knowledge that Malina is endgame).
Jesus Alina, get your shit together. You have every right to be mad, because you two didn’t actually break up, you didn’t kiss Nikolai and also, I don’t like Mal.
Sooo... when is Alina going to realize her manchild of a boyfriend is an amplifier?
Chapter 21
Alina has the horny sickness, lol.
Jesus Christ, girl, I don’t want to read your vaguely suicidal thoughts.
Mal, you fucking idiot.
Alina, stop defending Mal.
Chapter 22
Alina has a logical thought? Impossible.
Finally, some action.
Chapter 23
Oh, boi, this is going great.
Oh, boi, Alina’s having another martyr moment.
And, we’re done.
Finally.
That was a ride. Nothing really happens for like ten chapters and then everything happens in one and a half.
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locria-writes · 3 years
Note
So between Tuk'oer, Vezian, and Valentin, who's the biggest asshole? I feel like these are top 3 amongst the trashmen but I don't know just who is the biggest asshole in the top 3 itself.
i got a wholeass essay on this topic
tl;dr --
valentin -- 7/10 asshole, but a pretty decent guy underneath it all. has his own moral code that he does mostly adhere to, is capable of recognizing his assholery, and is the only one on this list capable of genuine and unselfish love.
tuko'er -- 9/10 asshole, very little redeemable about him, except that he is capable of introspection and self-reflection. had the potential to actually be a great guy, but got too embittered by the world and can't let go of the past. capable of genuine love, but it'll never not be selfish.
vezian -- 10/10 asshole, he doesn't even have the cool tragic backstory the others have to back his shit up. he was never a good guy, not even when he was a protagonist, and not now as an antagonist-figure. i don't really know if he's capable of genuine love.
long essay
Valentin is objectively an asshole. He's a hypocrite when it comes to his treatment of MC, has no qualms about lying/cheating/murdering his way to power, and is just generally unnecessarily blunt, surly, and quarrelsome, but underneath all that, he doesn't just have the potential to be a great guy -- he's actually quite valiant, albeit with some moral liberties and questionable methods, but let's take what we can get, okay?
His whole arc revolves around his pursuit of revenge, at least that's how others see it. But to Valentin, it's a fight to amend his rightfully-perceived injustices. He isn't doing it wholly for himself, in fact, his primary motivation is to seek justice for his mother, and in a broader respect, for all the others who have the same story he does. He doesn't hurt those he perceives as weaker than himself, and he doesn't blame the faultless, most of the time. MC is is the only exception to this because through all the hurt and anger that's been pent-up, Valentin's able to justify to himself why she's an acceptable target, and bend his principles just this once.
Unlike the other two, Valentin's perfectly capable of genuine and unselfish love, and already demonstrates it before MC. If MC were anyone else, he'd absolutely treat her very well, and he wouldn't have any qualms about acknowledging any feelings toward her. MC's only flaw is that she's Burkhard's daughter, and at the very least, Valentin can acknowledge his hypocrisy and deep down, he knows it's unfair to hate and hurt her for reasons far beyond any control.
On a meta-level, is Valentin's character an asshole? Yes, but only in this specific scenario. If his father had been even just 10% less of an asshole, or if he had a strong and non-murderous paternal role model, he wouldn't be a victim of Asshole Syndrome. Would he still be a surly jerk? Absolutely, but he'd be pretty harmless to MC overall, so he's a 7/10 asshole in AAB, but a 5/10 asshole as a character concept, if that makes sense.
Tuko'er, oh this piece of shit, Tuko'er. Undoubtedly an asshole's asshole, he's petty, ruthless, vicious, and completely unhinged. He takes delight in hurting the one he loves, and even more out of just being toxic toward her, and to be totally honest, he just wants to drag her down to his level so he won't be so lonely down there hell. He's an irredeemable abuser who is perpetuating the cycle, but let's take a step back for a second to look at how we got here.
He grew up in a household where power was the only thing that mattered. His father scorned him and set out to purposefully to make him miserable because of his mother is, and his mother was emotionally-unavailable and resented him for being his father's son. His older siblings either ignored and tormented him, and the same went for the servants. Despite all this, he was still very much a noble and magnanimous wide-eyed idealist, though he was internalizing all of this shitty behaviour deep down. Tuko'er craved affection and validation, received neither from his household, and the only person he ever really connected with and felt 'seen' by was Utanzhu. Funny enough, his frustrations over how powerless and useless he was in helping her all culminated to him falling victim to Asshole Syndrome, and becoming everything he didn't want to be. Lo and behold, it worked in his favour, and validated his behaviour.
At one point, before he became an asshole, Tuko'er loved genuinely and unselfishly. He craved affection, but never thought he was entitled to it, but now, after embracing shitty behaviour so long, it's become completely twisted. He treats his consorts and Samazy indifferently -- polite, distant, and doing no more and no less than what's expected, while with Utanzhu, it's an all-consuming, irrational, and distorted love.
Like Valentin, Tuko'er is an asshole, but only under specific scenarios. If he had others he could trust, or if he had been sent away to a different court, he wouldn't have become a poster child for Asshole Syndrome. In fact, he would've probably completely embraced his noble ideals, and become more like Yumaju, to be honest. Or at the very least, closer to what Valentin is, misguided and hurt, and trying to retake control of his life by fighting against those who hurt him. In KoK, he's absolutely a 9/10 asshole with few -- if any -- redeeming qualities left, while he goes from about a 3-7/10 asshole as a character concept.
Now Vezian, my sweet and beloved Asshole Supreme. The OG Trashman, the Prototype Locria-Trashman, the guy who was just as deplorable when he was written to be a protagonist as he is now as an antagonist, an arrogant and pompous character who became a narcissistic psychopath the more I wrote him etc, etc, etc. I can't tell if he's more of a megalomaniac or a psychopath or a narcissist, but I can tell that he's a real piece of work, and desperately needs some therapy (to be honest, they all do though).
Unlike Valentin and Tuko'er, he actually had a very good childhood. Sure, there were some snide remarks about his status and his mother, but overall, his mother loved him dearly, his father was at the very least, not overtly-abusive, his siblings, the Empress, and the other consorts were all either civil, or just distant to him, and the servants charged with caring for him all treated him well. Sure, he was always an arrogant little brat, but in a way, it was justified since he was very intelligent and talented, it's just too bad he's completely embraced the Asshole Syndrome. Nobody who really matters puts him down, but Vezian's internalized those whispers he used to hear about himself as a child, and has now convinced himself that everyone sees him that way, and that Launcelin, is out to get him.
Can he love genuinely and unselfishly? At the moment, it's a tentative yes, since he does love his mother and Doradeira, but other than them, I don't know if he's capable of forming that kind of bond with anyone else, even if he does fall in love with MC. In 10+ years of writing him, I've always flip-flopped on this aspect because I'd like to believe in the best for Vezian, and that he can eventually learn to be less selfish, more open-minded, but the older I get, the less it seems likely because he doesn't think he needs help/change, and how can one grow and mature if they refuse to believe they need to in the first place?
So Vezian's absolutely an asshole in ABEA, 10/10 the others wish they could be as irredeemable as him, but on a meta level, I don't really know? I feel like he could become a regular harmless douchecanoe if he ever got the help he needed, but do I think he'd ever accept help, or even acknowledge that he needs it? He's still such a difficult character to grasp, even though I've been writing him the longest in this list.
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kob131 · 3 years
Text
Morgan Le Fay (Alter Ego) My Room Lines
Morgause
“Master~ Can we stay here please? A moment’s rest may bring you far after all!”
“Ah, you really like to work don’t you? No no, I’m not accusing you of anything. I know your drive after all...”
“No matter what, it doesn’t seem I’ll get use to fighting. I wonder if either of those two would-ah. nevermind!”
Bond 1 “...Oh, sorry Master! I was spacing out there for a moment. I’m...not really use to being...heh, nevermind me!”
Bond 2 “Your magecraft seems a little shaky lately. Are you sure you’re feeling well? You eating well? Maybe a nice plate of meat and potatoes will make you feel better? ...Wh-what do you mean that’s too heavy?!”
Bond 3 “How strange.  I’m still here. Usually I can’t remember where I’ve been or how I got where I am because...because...
...Well anyway, I can’t say it’s bad after all. I’d certainly be worried if one moment I was here with you and the next you left my sight. That-that can get rather scary...”
Bond 4 “... ... ... I can still feel them inside me, you know? ‘The Lady of The Lake’ and ‘The Fairy Witch’. My...other selves.
... Why? Why? WHY? Why do they have to exist? Why are they inside me? It’s not fair! I lost so much to them! So much of my life- Take, STOLEN from me by them! And even worst, they took my home away! I’m Morgause Pendragon, the daughter of Uther Pendragon! I am human! Not a fae! Not a witch! I. Am. HUMAN, ME! 
So why can’t they just leave me alone?!”
Bond 5 “... I won’t be here for long. Even if this body were to see the end of your journey, I-I might not be the one in it. I was the first to fade away after all. It’s simply my fate...to be used and discarded by everything I love. 
...Even so, I won’t run. As weak as I maybe in comparison to them...I won’t surrender a second of my time with you. With anyone. I’m here now. I am me.”
To Gawain “My son...my darling son. P-please don’t turn away! Please. I-I lost so much time with you. I can’t-I have to. Please, come embrace your mother. Before I’m gone.”
To Gareth “Gareth...my little pup. Look at you, you’ve grown up so much. I bet you had the lords at your beck and call. ... I wish I could have been there for you.”
To Agravain “Oh Agravain. It hurts to see you look at me so. And yet, it’s all my fault. If only I were stronger, if only I could overcome them. My little knight...I’m sorry.”
To Arturia “Arthur-no, Arturia isn’t it? To think I felt so bitter about what our father wanted...when there was so much to lose to that envy. I...I shall take my leave.”
To Mordred “Master, that knight over there?? That...wouldn’t happen to be Sir Mordred correct? ... Yes I assumed so, given her glares at me. Le Fay’s child with my own brother...There’s nothing I can do to help her, is there?”
To Morgan (Lostbelt) “You there, the witch. You have quite the nerve to show your face here. You, who abandoned her humanity for the sake of a kingdom. Your kingdom was a shame and deserved it’s fate. Glare at me all you wish, without the three of us you would be nothing.”
Likes “What do I like? Well, I always liked cooking. It was always such a treat to see my children’s faces light up when I cooked with all my heart!”
Dislikes “...Lake fae and evil witches.”
Holy Grail “Even if it is a heresy, I would like to wish upon it. Then maybe, I can finally be free.”
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Vivian
“Master, come. We have much to do still. ...I know you must be tired, I understand your weariness. But still, we must persist.”
“There’s no need to worry about me. An adventure like this-it is a simple matter. Compared to guiding those troublesome fae...”
“Quiet, quiet, quiet. ...Sorry Master, I was...having some difficulties with...the others. Le Fay especially...”
Bond 1 “So, you have stayed by my side? How strange, most humans simply leave the lakeside after so long.”
Bond 2 “Your heart is weary. There is no point in lying. I know that feeling well myself. Perhaps I have been pushing you too hard. Come, rest. All need reprieve after all.”
Bond 3 “It seems my time has not come yet. Good. I cannot-I will not fade like before. I refuse to let things end like before.”
Bond 4 “It is so tiring. To have their thoughts, their minds inside me. Always, always a reminder. That I am more than the fae ‘Vivian’. The human princess and the raging witch-
...No. No. NO! I am here now! I will be the one to fight! I will be the one to guard the Human Order! I will be the one protect the Age of Man that Father wished for! Not the human Morgause! Not the witch Le Fay! 
I am Me, Vivian, The Lady of the Lake!”
Bond 5 “Even though I am the fae Vivian, an existence incompatible with mankind. It was always the humans I loved most of all. The fae, so fickle and cruel. I guided and guarded them out of duty alone.
Why you may ask? Because it was mankind that my father Uther loved. He protected them to his last breath. And so shall I. Even if I may never see the Age of Man, I will protect and guide it. Especially you, my Master. I shall ensure your safety to death and beyond.”
To Lancelot (Berserker) “Master! Th-that figure cloaked in black! I-it can’t be! My son! This is what became of you? ... Who did this?”
To Lancelot (Saber) “I knew it. Of course my son would be here. There was no chance he wouldn’t answer the call to protect mankind. He grew into a splendid knight after all.”
To Mash “This feeling... You there, young lady with the shield. Come forward, let me take a good look. ...It really is, isn’t it? Don’t be scared young lady. I shall never hurt you. Now, come with me. I have much to discuss with you.”
To Fae Servants “*Sigh* It seems there are some troublemakers in this place isn’t there? Worry not Master, I know how to keep them on a tight leash.”
To Morgan (Lostbelt) “Ruler of the fae, huh? How pathetic. To have resorted to such evil. I do not care what your excuses are. I lead and guarded the fae myself. I sacrificed my place in the world. I expect no less of you.”
To Arturia (Archer) “How cute, thinking that little spruit is alike to my magic. Here, let me show you what a true Excalibur Vivian can accomplish.”
Likes “Besides mankind? ...I do enjoy watching the forest creatures prance about. The little bugs especially.”
Dislike “Lazy princesses and malevolent witches. That is all I’ll say.”
Holy Grail “It is a false wish granting device isn’t it? Still, if supplied with enough mana, it might just be enough to grant my wish To gain my freedom.”
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Morgan Le Fay
“Careful now, Master. One wrong step and things will certainly go wrong. I know how much fun it is to lose yourself in the throes of battle. Hehehe...But your goal must come first.”
“That fire...that determination. Very well, I’ll join you in the fray. After all, I haven’t nearly indulged enough myself.”
“Your magecraft is rather lackluster isn’t it? Hm, whatever you call your ‘talents’, that doesn’t matter. Practice, practice, practice. Experience breeds excellence. I didn’t match Merlin with pure talent after all.”
Bond 1 “I must say, staying this way at will without being subject to the fickle whims fate...it’s rather nice. Thanks Master.”
Bond 2 “Fate is cruel. I know your pain better than most. Forced into the impossible by the will of others. But don’t let your heart waver. Through will and guile, you will gain your freedom.”
Bond 3 “Don’t hesitate to give me tasks. I find myself with more time than i know what to do with. Preferably with you around...”
Bond 4 “I’m sure you’ve heard about this before but...My other selves are still here. Deep inside, I can still here them. Their woes, their uncertainty, their hatred. All mine...
...Bwahaha! What a joke! As if I would let them trend upon me. It was my loathing that struck fear into Camelot. It was my malice that twisted the Green Knight. It was my love for Britian that allowed me to stomach sharing a bed with that liar. I am no feeble princess or passive fae. I am me, Morgan, the witch that loved Britian!”
Bond 5 “So here we stand still. I’m sure you caught on but I hate the Age of Man. Tearing away all the work I put out, fading everything I’ve done into legend. Acting as though I was never here. For it’s sins, I will always spur it.
So why am I here? Because I would rather have an Age of Man with Britian than not. Be it the destruction of history or man, I will not stand for it. I will rage and hate and burn until all is done. So long as we stand on the same ground, I will be here. I can’t trust the other two to get the job done after all.”
To Mordred “Hm, that defect of a homonculus is here? Master, you are best off sending it away. It’s incapable of following orders or performing tasks sufficiently. I would love to fix it but that’s beyond my reach.”
To Arturia (Alter) “Tch, that liar dares to attach my name to something so weak. She preaches that the strong rule over the weak, shall I teach her who is truly strong then? Gwahaha!”
To Merlin “Ah, Teacher is here too. How unusual, that fickle asshole couldn’t be asked to cut a blade of grass, let alone save humanity. He’s not even really here is he?”
To Fairy Knight Tristan “Master, this annoying brat won’t leave me alone. Acting all familiar and friendly with me... Maybe I’ll teach her what it means to truly be sadistic. Perhaps by rending her limbs asunder...”
To Arturia “So the King of Liars has come as well. Maybe a trip into Hell will teach her the place where she belongs...but that will have to wait, won’t it? She still has her uses after all...”
To Oberon-Vortigern “That mana. Another embodiment of Britian is here?! It feels like that failure Vortigern...yet...it’s so different. I must dissect him, to know!”
To Morgan (Lostbelt) “Ah yes, that other me. Heh, what a fool she turned out to be, no? She rages against man, fae and knights, wasting all her efforts in the process. Focus, my dear. Focus is the key to victory. I did not waste my time with man or fae, I put my all into the slaying of Arturia. And which of us succeeded, hm?”
Likes “A rough night with a man below me, of course.”
Dislikes “My other selves. Unlike them, I will not hide the truth.”
Holy Grail “Hm, I have no need for such a thing. Unlike them, I will not cling to a false hope. It will be my hand that cuts them out like the parasites they are.”
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Bond 10 CE: I Am...?
One minute *I’m* home with my children One minute ^I’m^ guarding those troublesome fae One minute -I’m- cackling as I tear into his flesh
The next I’m not.
It is my duty to *lead*/^guard^/-destroy- my kin No, That is *my*/^my^/-my- duty. No, it’s *mine*/^mine^/-mine-!
...Is it?
No, I am a *princess*/^guardian^/-witch-! That is not what *I*/^I^/-I- am! Stop it! This is who *I*/^I^/-I- am!
I am *me*/^me^/-me-! I am *Me*/^Me^/-Me-! I AM *ME*/^ME^/-ME-!
I am... I...am... I...
....Who am I?
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hemera989 · 4 years
Text
Hot Takes: Yukio Okumura
Aka, 'My Analysis Of Yukio That No One Asked For And Yet I Will Give It Anyways’ asjhdkajshfs also, tw for talk of attempted suicide, suicidal thoughts, depression and trauma!
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The main reason I felt it necessary to give My Take on Yukio was not entirely because I love him and feel like he’s a lot more immature and human than people like to think though that is a large chunk of the reason. It was rather because recent manga chapters have really gone on to shake up how I view him, and it helps to write things down.
I feel like perhaps it’s best to start chronologically in a way, because there’s no one event that really led to the reveal of Yukio as he is today- depressed, suicidal, and destructive. There is no one reason to point a finger at, or one life event to deconstruct. He’s a product of his personality, childhood, and the overall events that led to his birth. And what better way to start a childhood off, than with bullying?
Considering how traumatic bullying can be, it’s just a little bit surprising to see how much it tends to get glossed over (for both Rin and Yukio). This is where I believe Yukio’s inferiority complex may have developed, or at least started becoming prominent. He was teased and harassed as a child, and unable to defend himself besides relying on Rin to protect him. While Rin was only doing so out of genuine love and care for Yukio, this is likely where his twisted opinion of their relationship began. Rin was good and kind and strong, and defended him out of love, and Yukio was weak and a crybaby, and resented both Rin and himself for how little he was able to protect himself on his own. 
This is where we can see his mindset begin to develop; Rin = good and strong, and Yukio = weak and bad. This even extends to Shiro, which we can see somewhat in what I believe is the Kraken arc.
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This also becomes what I believe is the core of Yukio’s character- he does not like himself. Because he hates himself so thoroughly, he doesn’t believe that he deserves to be liked, or even that he genuinely can be liked for who he is. We see this in his conversation with Rin during the Aomori arc, where he remarks to Rin that if Shiemi knew the ‘real’ him, she would hate him. He believes that he is an unlikable person, to both himself and others. 
In a way, this also stems from his relationship with Rin. Rin is in no way at fault for why Yukio is the way that he is, but the friction between their two personalities does deepen their own insecurities. Because Rin is reckless and headstrong, Yukio is forced to be the ‘mean guy’, the one to put his foot down, the one to say ‘no’ because he knows that Rin isn’t often capable of doing so himself. He is forced into responsibilities too intense for him to properly handle both due to Rin’s position as the inheritor of the blue flames, and due to his brother’s personality as the goofy, fun-having teen. (If you’ve ever had siblings, or, hell, even had to be the voice of reason in a situation where people are having reckless fun, you know exactly how this feels.)
When you take how his personality is, you can see exactly how his position as an exorcist has exacerbated this to an almost extreme amount. Though Shiro didn’t do so intentionally, he almost single-handedly createted one of Yukio’s most damaging mindsets- that becoming strong is the only way forward for Yukio. 
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(Don’t take this as Shiro slander, I love that man and he tried his best with the complicated history he already has with childhood) Through trying to give Yukio the chance to seize strength for himself, he set off quite a few chain reactions within Yukio’s mindset. First, he associated strength as a person with physical strength. Second, he associated worth as a person with physical strength. Third, he associated Yukio’s strength and worth with Rin, by making exorcism a way to protect Rin from other demons. Foruth, in my opinion, we can see the reduction of Yukio and Shiro’s relationship from a father-son bond to a teacher- student bond. Now, Yukio begins to lose his main support system- his father. Shiro is no longer his dad, but the paladin, a strong man who offered him an unhealthy way forward in life. 
In one decision, we can see how Yukio’s self hatred found an external focus to worsen itself for him. Yukio believes that he is a weak, worthless, and unlikable person. But, now, he does have a purpose, something in life that is worth living for. He begins to develop his entire concept of himself as a person on that of becoming an exorcist, becoming strong, and protecting his brother. He hates himself, but he knows that he can do one thing- protect Rin.
We can also see where his superiority complex begins to develop. Being born human while his brother was born clearly demonic, Yukio has more worth in the eyes of the True Cross. Being the good child, and the smart child with a plan for his future, he has more worth in the eyes of society. He is better than his brother, and he knows it, but he also knows that Rin is (in his eyes) inherently good and kind, and Yukio is not. He is better, but he is also lesser than Rin.
Protecting his brother is also where I believe his relationship with Rin begins to deteriorate to a dramatic extent. Yukio wants strongly to protect him, because that’s where he believes his worth as a person is, but in a way, he resents the burden that’s been placed on him. He has to be the responsible one, the mean one, the assertive one, the negotiator, the one to clean up Rin’s messes, the one to fix everything, the one to give up his entire childhood just for exorcism to protect Rin. Yukio is a child, and one who was denied the chance to be one. He was never allowed the chance to selfishly externalize his emotions (like children should be ALLOWED to do, imo) and so never learned how to process his own emotions.
At this point in his life, he resents Rin for being ‘allowed’ to be selfish and destructive, he resents Rin and the world for having this burden of responsibility put on his shoulders, and he resents himself still for being an unlikable, weak, and worthless person, and for resenting Rin and the world. He is vastly, vastly unhappy and hateful towards himself, and is already suffering in the assortment of circumstances he finds himself in.
And then throw in a murdered dad, because why not?
Now, the burden that was placed on him and shared between himself and Shiro, is now solely on him. On top of having his father suddenly and traumatically killed, he is now responsible (in his mind) for Rin. One could argue Mephisto, but he proved... extremely quickly that he was not interested in the finer details of guardianship LMAO. Yukio now is the sole bearer of Rin’s wellbeing, and he finds very quickly that this is a role he does not (and cannot, as a child himself) succeed in.
Yukio has been thrust abruptly into the world of becoming a parent, in an extremely twisted and awful way. He is a child, in an adult field, surrounded by adults, treated as an adult, and now he essentially is the parent of Rin. This is complicated enough with Rin’s personality, but then you have to add in that Rin is the illegitimate and illegal son of Satan, and his very existence, if revealed, would lead to his certain death. As Rin reveals his powers, gets sentenced to execution, picks fights with Amaimon, uses his powers across Kyoto and in damn near every public space whenever possible, Yukio’s distress and mental state begins to worsen as he realizes that he is failing. 
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We can see him begin to externalize his mounting frustrations and anger and fear, through reprimanding Rin harshly, threatening Suguro, threatening Mephisto, and also that scene where he punched the shit out of Rin for being reckless. Yukio needs his brother alive, because Rin is his only family left, and because his worth as a person is tied directly to protecting Rin. It is his only purpose in life, and he is failing at it, and he deeply resents Rin for making it difficult, and himself for failing. His downward spiral begins to become visible around these points, and we can also see the start of his worsening habit of taking his volatile emotions out on others physically.
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He is progressively being backed into a corner with no way out, and like a wounded animal, he is lashing out at anyone who dares come close. Yukio’s violent and hurtful behavior towards others is not because he’s an uptight asshole who does it for fun, but because he’s a traumatized, depressed, and suicidal child who is losing the one person he has left and who gives his life worth. He has no substantial guidance from the adults around him, and for all intents and purposes, he is alone. He wants to rely on Rin, but because Rin has a tendency to process negative emotions by shoving them down and away, Yukio can’t rely on him.
This is what I think is the most heartbreaking aspect of Yukio. He is a hurt and lonely child, who is deeply mentally ill, who is losing his brother and lashing out at others because he doesn’t know what else to do. He is acutely aware that he is being cruel and unkind, and he doesn’t want to be. He wants to be good, and kind, and liked, and valued. He doesn’t want to hurt others.
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This scene makes this obvious. This is what I believe is the cliff’s edge where Yukio takes the drop that leads him to where he is in the manga now. He is terribly lonely, and hateful, but in a moment where he lashes out emotionally, he managed to do something he feels is well and wholly despicable. Shiemi is the one person he cares for genuinely, healthily, and truly. She wants to help him because she cares for him, and yet he hurts her for daring to mention his largest insecurity- and he knows that.You can see it written across his expression- he’s shocked, and horrified with himself for how he lost control. His hands are shaking.
He managed to do the one thing he feared above all, and that was to let Shiemi see who he ‘truly’ was. He hurt someone who unselfishly cared for him, and this is where he begins to think that he has gone past the point of no return. He is so awful, and terrible, that he hurt someone as kind as Shiemi. He is so worthless that he is failing at the one job that gives his life meaning. He is so evil and cruel that he has shoved everyone away, and now he truly has no one left.
He is worthless, and evil, and terrible- this is how Yukio views himself. Why not kill himself, and then the world would be rid of him?
Except, now another wrench has been thrown in. Yukio finds that, with Satan possessing his eye, he has become worse that worthless and evil and terrible. Now, his life poses a threat to humanity, by allowing Satan a way into Assiah. His life isn’t just worthless now, it’s become an active threat to the world, in his mind. Now, he can rationalize that his death is necessary. He is suicidal, but he has convinced himself that it’s fine, because he needs to die anyways.
This is where I believe he is in the manga, now. He is convinced that he has to die, and says it’s because he wants to save the world from Satan, but it is extremely likely that it’s mostly because he is extremely suicidal. He is hellbent (pardon the pun) on his own death. He will stop at nothing to secure his own death, no matter what it takes. His trauma, his mental illness, his self-hatred- they’re all open and exposed, now. If he’s an evil, unlikable, and cruel person, why not commit to it? Why not make himself the most evil, the most unlikable, the most cruel, if it means someone will finally get tired enough to truly put himself out of his misery?
He’s cast aside his true kindness and gentleness, and has embraced what he believes to be his ‘true’ self. He will die, and he’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that happens.
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That’s my take on him, what I believe his mindset is and how it developed. Yukio is not a hero. He hurt Shiemi, threatened his students, threatened his guardian, and shot Rin multiple times. Whether or not Rin heals from it is irrelevant, Yukio still made the conscious choice to harm Rin, and others. But, he has never done so because he is evil inside. He’s done so because he’s a wounded animal, lashing out, determined to secure his own death. He is a traumatized child who has hurt others. 
He deserves kindness and understanding, but also to be held accountable for his actions. He’s what I believe to be the embodiment of the ugly side of mental illness that many people are resistant to see. His character is uncomfortable to read, because he is startlingly real and three-dimensional. Like many of the characters in aoex, he cannot be classified as good or bad. He is a complex person, with good and bad aspects, like any person in real life.
godDAMN could someone give him a HUG and some THERAPY PLEASE.
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jaedore · 4 years
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BINDING BONDS | 5
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parings: jung jaehyun x reader
genre: ceo!au, arranged marriage!au, consumption of alcohol, asshole/player Jaehyun, swearing
[ ☾ smut | ◇ angst ]
note: BB deals with themes of mental and physical abuse, which can be upsetting for some readers. If you feel uncomfortable reading these types of plots, you are advised to not continue. MINORS, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, but I advice you to skip the sexual parts.
[ 6.6 k ]
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You ignored his pleading remark, you just wanted to be alone. You begged for peace and quiet so you could calm down. Jaehyun’s hand lingered on the knob, he wanted to stay and to explain, but you abruptly shut the door before he could even speak. You leaned your forehead against the door, not being able to stand the expression of longing and pleading sketched all over his face, but you couldn’t help what you were feeling. Anger, frustration, misplaced, and mentally and emotionally exhausted. You let gravity pull you to the chair and freed a long-awaited breath you never knew you held. It truly is his problem, and you knew you shouldn’t fret about it but why were you? You knew it was too early to forgive and develop feelings, so why were you so worked up? No, I’m not, you massaged your forehead.
Jaehyun also dropped into his seat, his palms supporting the weight of his head, more so his thoughts. The sight of Chaeyoung broke him, she looked so shattered, so defeated, he never intended to hurt her and that devastated him. She’s the first person he’s ever loved, he even waited for her, and he broke her right on the spot. Then there was you, the glance of disappointment made him tousle his hair, all he wanted was to make things right, and instead, he made it worse. He was in the right place but at the wrong time. Jaehyun wanted so bad to check up on Chaeyoung, but he pulled himself from it knowing he shouldn’t. He should be checking up on you, but when he texted, you didn’t answer. Jaehyun tossed his phone to the side, disappointed things were under this kind of circumstance.
Cases didn’t always go Jaehyun’s way, like tonight, he ended up working until midnight. His father had compiled paperwork that needed to be finished by tomorrow’s meeting. Jaehyun despised his father for his inconsideration, but what could Jaehyun do? He wants the CEO position, so he has to work for it, even if his father doesn’t believe he has the capability to obtain it.
When the sky that was once painted yellow and orange was smeared with darkness, the twinkling lights that lit far from Earth had their moment to shine. As Jaehyun stepped out of the building, it was inevitable for him to cherish the sight above him. After everything that he’s been through, put you through, he inhaled a large breath and relaxed, feeling as if the weight had been lifted his shoulders. Everything’s going to be okay, he thought. And he truly believed that as he pulled his gaze from the strong sky that held the galaxy.
When Jaehyun came in, he figured there’d be no way you were awake until he saw your bedroom door opened with the lights on, did she wait up for me? He wanted to talk to you about today, but when he got to your room, you were asleep on your desk. The side of your head rested on your folded arms, on top of the files you had brought from work. Jaehyun thought that even if you looked exhausted, you still looked so amicable.
Jaehyun quietly set his briefcase down before walking over to your desk. He combed your escaped hairs behind your ear, then rested his hand on your cheek, you slightly moved from the soft touch. He lifted your limbs until you gripped him like a koala as he carried you to your bed, gently setting you down. Jaehyun wrapped you into your sheets, careful to not wake you, and crouched down beside your bed. He admires how naturally beautiful you are, your professionalism, how you present yourself, and how patient you’ve been with him. The recognizable feeling returned to him and he began to feel upset at himself again, the way he treated you, yelled at you and belittled you. Jaehyun was never going to get over it, he couldn’t help but feel guilty for hurting such a beautiful person.
With sad eyes, Jaehyun left your room, softly shutting the door behind him, and that night Jaehyun didn’t sleep at all. In fact, he heard you get up, get ready, and leave for work, but he didn’t bother to come out of his shell because he didn’t want to face you, he couldn’t. Jaehyun shoved down his feelings for wanting to pursue you when he looked at you that night. He couldn’t help but think, what if it’s too late and she doesn’t even want me anymore? What if it’s too late and she doesn’t even want to try? At the same time, his heart couldn’t let go of Chaeyoung. With his mind and heart in battle, he was the one withdrawing from you this time.
You hadn’t noticed he was ignoring you through the past couple of days because you were bustling at work. When you finally had time to sit for lunch, that was the moment you wondered what was going on because Jaehyun hadn’t sent a text, called you, or even asked to join you for lunch, you haven’t even seen him at home that often either. Not that you were bothered by it, but it made you slightly doubt him. He’s been acting different ever since he came by for lunch, was it the way I reacted? Was it because he saw Chaeyoung that time? You dropped the files in irritation, you couldn’t help but feel upset that he was avoiding you all week, you knew he was because you’ve already done it to him before. You just wanted him to say something to you, anything.
As soon as you finished eating, you picked up the files you abandoned and sent them to their dedicated department. You needed to get out and let loose, you needed to cool down and you knew who the right person was. As soon as you got back to your office, you pulled out your phone to call Haewon, but fate always had a good way of interrupting your mood because Jaehyun’s name popped up on your screen before you could even unlock it.
You stared at his name that appeared on your phone. Your eyes went back and forth between the green ‘answer’ icon and the red ‘decline answer’ icon. You wanted to refuse it because of the way he’s been avoiding you, but even though you hated to admit it, there was a sliver of a second where you wanted to hear his voice. 
“Yes?”
“Hey, um what are you doing this Friday?” Jaehyun timidly asked, it felt like it’s been forever since you heard his voice. A voice that's saturated with honey.
You checked your calendar in front of your screen, it’s only Wednesday and your Friday evening held vacancy. “Nothing,” you hesitated, “why?”
“Oh,” Jaehyun paused, “well, my parents want us to come over for dinner.”
You pondered for a bit because you could sense the tension between you two, but you decided that maybe it was for the best to go for the sake of you two, “Sure, what time?”
“We’ll probably leave around 5:30,” Jaehyun added.
“Okay sounds good, I’ll talk to you later,” you hung up the phone, not waiting to hear his goodbye.
When you hang up on him, Jaehyun feels like he could cut the tension between you two like a knife, he knows that you’re mad because he’s avoiding you. Throwing his head back, he rubbed his eyes with stress stacking. Everything at work is piling up on him, Chaeyoung is heartbroken, he’s going through his own heartbreak, and you’re mad at him.
“Mr. Jung, your father is here,” his secretary barged in, making Jaehyun jolt from his seat out of a trance.
Jaehyun’s father stormed in, his face contorted in anger as his hand gripped his briefcase. Before he could speak up, his father slammed the briefcase on Jaehyun’s desk, “you had one job!”
Jaehyun looked confused at his father, he’s done everything right and he knows it because Jaehyun is always careful when it comes to working. “Father, what are you talking about?”
Before answering Jaehyun, his father raised his hand and gave Jaehyun a callous slap across his face. “The financial statements? Yeah, they’re a fucking mess. When I went to meet up with a potential partner and buyer, all the numbers were wrong, now we don’t have a partnership or branch with them. I taught you better,” his father caterwauled, “we lost thousands because of you.”
“No,” Jaehyun stood his ground, “I did them right! The accountant messed it up, so I had to check it myself!” he defended.
But Jaehyun’s father wouldn’t back down without a fight, it was like he enjoyed it, “I just spoke to the accountant, everything was done correctly until your ego came in and swiped it from him. YOU messed it up!”
“Father, I’m telling you the truth. I triple checked it, you probably saw it wrong!” Jaehyun blurted, immediately regretting his words.
“I’m never wrong,” his father growled, “get these statements fixed or you’re done. I can’t have an incompetence person working under me.” he tightened his tie and left, slamming the door shut loud enough to be heard throughout the entire building.
Jaehyun fingers grazed the ghost of his father’s palm against his cheek, the pain still lingering like a million needles. The last few seconds always hurt more than it did at that moment, the prickling in his cheek wouldn’t leave the sensitive skin so he left to get an ice pack, hoping the pain would surrender. No one knew of Jaehyun’s father’s abuse, for one, it was unseen, and second, even if it was seen or even suspected, they would be given hush money. Jaehyun knows he has the power to reveal it, but he would always be reminded of his mother. He didn’t want her to live her known life of an abusive husband, he wanted her to be known for the wife of a successful father, especially when she didn’t choose this kind of life. No, she didn’t know about her husband’s issues, he kept it well away from her.
Person...Jaehyun scoffed, his father didn’t even consider him as his own son, he hasn’t since Jaehyun could ever remember. Jaehyun never knew why his father held such hatred for him but thought it was better that way because Jaehyun didn’t want to know anyway.
With an ice pack in one hand, holding it against his cheek and the other on his hip, Jaehyun peered down at the citizens that suffused the streets and sidewalks. Everyone had their own life, their own stories, and moments, how come Jaehyun felt like he never had any good ones?
“Who were you talking to earlier on the phone?” Your mother asked, poking at her salad.
“Jaehyun,” you answered, stirring your soup, to be honest, you found it difficult to have an appetite after the phone call.
“Oh? What does he want? Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine,” you sighed, “his parents just want us to come over for dinner this Friday.”
“That’s exciting!” your mother gasped.
Uneasiness replaced the food in your stomach, you had a sense of the kind of person Jaehyun’s father is and thought of being in the same room with him was unsettling. “Yeah, we’ll see how it goes,” you put the cap on your soup and told your mother you were ready to go back up to your office.
You were almost done with the files for the week, if you keep up the focus and pace, you’d for sure finish them by Friday. Since you were down in the designing department at the beginning of the week, you made regular trips to make sure everything was perfect. To you, Chaeyoung didn’t look even better from before, her eyes still tugged on her dark bags and her lack of sleep showed on her face. She sensed you looking at her so she perked her head up and walked towards you.
“Can we talk?” she timidly asked.
Instead of telling her to make an appointment with her, you pressed your lips together because you knew what she wanted to talk about. “Sure, follow me to my office, my mother’s in a meeting so it’ll just be the two of us,” you lead her to the way of your office.
The tension between you two was stiff, you both stood on either side of the elevator as silence drowned you both until the doors opened. She followed you into our office, shutting the door behind her as you sat in your chair.
“What did you want to discuss?” You clasped your hands on top of your desk.
“Why didn’t you tell me that you and Jaehyun were engaged?”
Taken aback from her informality and hasty question, you hesitated in your thoughts before proceeding. “Because it’s not my business with what Jaehyun had with you,” you began, “that was his issue to figure out with you. I understand that you two were in a relationship, but this is something we can’t do anything about.”
“But you’re my boss, how can I just let this go? I see you just about every day.”
“If it’s that hard working for me, then I recommend you hand in your resignation letter. You were the one that was affiliated with him, I had no intention of interrupting what you had with him. It is Jaehyun’s sole decision to make for himself,” as harsh as you said it, it was the truth and you meant every word of it.
Chaeyoung shook her head, she worked so hard to get a position at one of the most elite fashion brands, she couldn’t afford to lose it just for one guy. Her gaze fell from onto her lap where she picked the skin of her thumb, “No, I want to stay. I get that I’m new here and I’m just an intern, but I hope this doesn’t affect my job.”
“Don’t worry about that, know when to separate your personal and professional life. If it proceeds to affect your job, I won’t have a choice to fire you, Chayeoung.”
“Yes, Ms. Y/l/n.” She nodded, “thank you.” Even though you were straightforward, your words were genuine.
“I know he’s talked to you and has broken things off, so take the rest of the week to make peace with yourself,” you recommended.
“No, that’s okay! I’ll continue to work hard!” Chaeyoung abruptly stood up, bowing to you, and rushing out of your office with determination in her steps. She was thankful that you were considerate enough to think about her.
“Oh, okay then,” you blinked.
You proceeded to focus your work on the files, but every time your phone dinged the little distraction was accompanied with hope, for you to hope that it was Jaehyun. It never was. Why do I even want him to call me? You massage your temples with your elbows propped on your desk.
“Everything okay?” Your mother brisked in.
“Yeah, how was your meeting?”
“It was fine,” she sighed, “Mr. Jung is particularly intense today.”
“Jaehyun was here?” You unintentionally chirped.
“No, no, his father. He seemed angry the entire meeting,” your mother’s brows furrowed.
“Oh,” you sighed. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t contacted me. Maybe something bad happened between them two and maybe it happened because of work.
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It was 7 pm when you arrived home, you didn’t notice the lit up apartment, the sounds of another person, or the appetizing aroma filling your nose.
“You’re home.”
Jumping, you released an “oh!” holding onto your chest. In the kitchen, stood Jaehyun by the stove, stirring the pan. You hadn’t seen Jaehyun for a few days so you didn’t expect to see him now, but here you were, mouth agape, “y-yeah.” you slowly shut the door.
“I’m almost done, set your stuff down so we can eat.”
You stood your ground as he turned his back to continue cooking. It’s been a couple of days since you’ve seen him, so you couldn’t help but fixate your gaze on his back. The way his muscles stretched the fiber of the white t-shirt he slipped on, the extensiveness of his shoulders, and his damp hair that sat comfortably on his head. You wanted to run your hands over the strength of his back and tangle your fingers in his soft hair. What the- you quickly flicked the thought off, afraid that he’d catch you checking him out. You convinced yourself that your heart was racing only because he startled you when you came in.
You step towards him, crossing your arms and leaning your back against the counter beside the stove. Jaehyun raised an eyebrow, never seeing you in such a stance because you always stood with poise. You quietly watched him stir the sauteed rice and vegetables that brought color to the dish.
“Hope you like fried rice,” he mumbled.
“Why have you been avoiding me?” You bluntly asked, it surprised both of you because you didn’t intend to be this forward.
Surprised, Jaehyun stuttered, “I-I just had a lot to do for work.”
You paused before speaking in a hushed whisper, “I’m sorry for not being understanding the other day at lunch.”
Jaehyun stopped his stirring to glance at you, your head was lowered while playing with the buttons on your blouse. When you met his eyes, he could see the sincerity it held.
“I’m not sure what came over me,” you scoffed. Truth is, you did, but you bite your tongue instead. Since that day you told him to leave, you’ve been in denial, but you knew exactly that you were jealous and truly falling for him, you just didn’t want to admit it to yourself.  
“It’s okay, I wasn’t the best at expressing it anyways. I wanted to tell you, but just seeing her, I don’t know, something just came over me also,” Jaehyun shook his head, gaze kept at the fried rice.
That’s when it hit you. Chaeyoung was his first love so of course, it wasn’t going to be easy for him to get over her, especially since they’ve dated since high school and he’s been waiting for her to come back. You couldn’t help but feel the sudden pang in your heart because you knew this was going to be harder than you thought. Jaehyun picked up on your expression but interpreted it the wrong way.
“But yeah, I did end things with her,” he emphasized.
“That’s good to hear,” you turned your head to the side. You didn’t want to discuss this anymore so instead of saying more, you turned around to get two plates from the shelf.
As you walked to the table, you could feel Jaehyun’s gaze on your back. He furrowed his brows, beginning to feel worried, was it something I said? Did I do something wrong? But I apologized...he pursed his lips to the side of his mouth in thought.
Your kitchen held an absence of silence, no one talked. You didn’t want to hear what he had to say about Chaeyoung, nor did he want to provoke you with it. Every time he looked at you, your gaze was always down at the plate in front of you, but you didn’t eat, you just stared and poked the vegetables.
“Do you not like it?” Jaehyun carefully asked.
“No, I like it,” you sighed and took a big bite. You filled your mouth so you didn’t have to speak, quickly finishing it, and offering to clean up, you needed the distraction and you didn’t want to be in the same room with Jaehyun.
You threw yourself on your bed, am I mad at him?...Or myself? you whined against the sheets. You tangled your fingers through your hair, wrecking your ponytail. This was one of the reasons you didn’t want to fall for him.
“Can’t she see that I’m trying?” Jaehyun whispered to himself, imitating your position, face down, and the sheets with muffled words. He angrily flopped his body like a fish out of frustration. You two were meeting his parents soon for dinner and he knew you both would have to fake it. As much as Jaehyun wanted to keep trying, he couldn’t help but think that maybe it was too late.
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Friday came sooner than you thought, so here you were, peering at yourself and hoping that the Gucci Wool Silk Belted Jumpsuit did its justice. Hopefully, this isn’t too much, you tighten your belt. Grabbing your purse, you walked to the kitchen to see Jaehyun put the cap on the dish of food you made to bring.
“Oh, I could’ve done that,” you set your bag down, the chain creating a sound as it hit the table.
“It’s okay, I didn’t want to rush you in getting ready,” Jaehyun set the dish down, “but it smells good. You ready?” He asked.
“Yes, let’s go.” you put your shoes on, following him out to the car.
In the car, as silence drapes the car you peer out at the sunset, streaks of red, orange, and yellow pigment the sky as the lights of buildings accompany it. Jaehyun’s fingertips, slightly tapping the steering wheel along with the beat of the music and his low voice humming. Everything felt peaceful to you in this moment.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Jaehyun chirped beside you, noticing you staring out the window.
“Just thinking about city life,” you expressed, “sometimes it gets so busy, that I have to leave for a bit, but somehow...I always find myself coming back.” you chuckle.
“Me too, I enjoy the country, but I like the pace of the city, it’s exciting,” he commented.
The rest of the ride, you two talked about the small things you two found peace in. He likes the warmth of another’s arms, being able to leave work while it’s still light out, and the small victories throughout the day. He found out that you like going to the pier, embraces that last just a little longer, the moment after the rain stops, and heartfelt laughter. He chuckled when you added that you also like it when someone surprises you with sushi, tucking that information in the back of his head. He didn’t know why he even bothered to try to get to know you anymore, but when he heard you speak, it was like you spoke of poetry of admiration and love.
As Jaehyun gave one of the workers his car keys, he carefully grasped your hand and with hesitation, you accepted it. He could sense your tensity in the hold of your hands.
“Don’t be nervous, they’ve met you before and they adore you,” Jaehyun smiled, deep enough to set dimples into his cheeks.
You hoped that his words were true, that they held good assumptions of you. They didn’t know you personally, but you hoped that they had positive thoughts on you from the last couple of encounters, even if you were stubborn at their decision for your marriage.
“Y/n! Jaehyun!” Mrs. Jung came running to you, her dress flowing after her.
“Hi,” you smiled, hugging her.
“Glad to see you two,” Mr. Jung walked up to you two, “please, we’re about to have dinner soon,” he smiled.
Mrs. Jung took hold of the dish as Jaehyun led you to the dining room. Everything was beautiful. The chandelier alluded the cream-colored walls, the large chairs enveloped your body, and the dark wood table that stretched across the room was filled with delicacies exposing the savory aroma.
“So, y/n, Jaehyun tells us that you’re releasing a new collection,” Mrs. Jung began.
“Yes, it’s our Spring-Summer 2020 collection. We’re in the works of it right now,” you replied.
“How do you think your collection will do?” Mr. Jung asked.
Thrown off by the semi-pressuring question, you cleared your throat, “Our Spring-Summer collections are our most popular. We market and design based on the present trends and patterns, including our swimwear. Even though we are an international brand, with Jung Corporation, I believe that our brand can be recognized more with trading.”
Mr. Jung smiled, you felt like you were on a game show and he was the host. The speculation of it gave you shivers, every question he asked you made you nervous, afraid of saying the wrong answer.
“Wine, Miss?” one of the butlers swift next to you, crouching his body. He leaned the bottle of red liquid near your glass, almost as if he knew that you needed it.
“Oh, yes please,” you sighed, it’s going to be a long night.
“I’m thankful you think that way, Ms. y/l/n. Do you have any other plans for your future collections yet?” Mr. Jung sipped from his wine glass.
“Please, just call me y/n,” you smiled as genuine as you could, “and yes, for the autumn collection, we’re bringing in trench coats, as they’ve been the constant trend every year. Since our brand strives on simplicity and classic styles, we won’t be branching off to too many designs for that. Otherwise, we’re releasing a new collection of shoes, made for the cold weather, and innovative professional wear.” You affirmed.
Mr. Jung nodded in satisfaction. You hadn’t noticed Jaehyun gently holding your hand, squeezing it to help you release some tension you didn’t know you held. It was as if you were the boat floating in the middle of nowhere and he was the anchor that made sure you were still grounded. You blinked and relaxed your neck, not trying to give away that you were stressed at his arduous questions.
“Enough with the business talk, Myungsoo. How are your parents, y/n?” Mrs. Jung smiled.
“They’re well, my father’s back in the states for work, and my mother’s doing fine at Audace,” you replied.
Everyone continued conversing, occasionally Mr. Jung would chirp in, asking more questions about Audace. You didn’t know if he was more interested in your capability of holding the CEO position or your partnership with Jung Corporation, but the thought of it was charred once dinner was served. Unknowingly you were downing glasses of wine and each time you sipped, the smooth fluid never failed to soothe your throat. 
Jaehyun on the other hand wasn’t having any of it. As everyone ate, his parents were embarrassing him about his younger days and he desperately wanted them to stop, he didn’t want you to hear any stories of him accidentally shooting a basket for the other team or that time when he cried for his mother the first night at youth basketball camp. Feeling humiliated, Jaehyun stole the bottle of wine from the butler and poured the remaining into his glass, filling it up to the brim each time. 
By the end of dinner, touches of laughter were exchanged among the table, mumbles were heard from Jaehyun, and you both were both slightly tipsy.
“Honey, why don’t you two just stay the night? It’s not safe for you two drive in this state,” Mrs. Jung said.
“Yes, you two can stay in Jaehyun’s room, we’ll have the maids get everything ready.” Mr. Jung sent the maids off to tend the room.
You struggled to get up from the seat, of course, Jaehyun had a way higher tolerance than you, so he was quick to hold onto you, afraid that you’d knock your head on the table.
Jaehyun sighed, “can you help her on my back?” he asked his mother, nervous that you’d trip yourself up the stairs.
By the time Jaehyun walked up to his room, everything was set and he also realized that everything was almost the way he left it, except his bed. Since Jaehyun brought it to the apartment, his parents replaced it with a smaller one. So Jaehyun was careful when he bent to the side, letting you easily slide off of him. You huffed, massaging your temples and catching your breath before you propped yourself up on your elbows. You watched as Jaehyun walked to his standing mirror, loosening his tie. Your stomach began tingling seeing the sight in front of you, his tall physique hovered the mirror, his hair was gelled back, and his loosened shirt displayed a little patch of skin. 
Fuck. You were sober enough to make decisions, but something about Jaehyun makes your mind go completely blank. You walk over to him as Jaehyun sees you in the reflection and turns around. You grabbed his nape pulling him in for a kiss, he stood tense, gripping onto your shoulders as if he was deciding whether or not to push or pull. You felt him decide when you felt his hands gently push you away.
“W-wait, maybe you shouldn’t do this, we’re both pretty out of it and not in our right minds,” Jaehyun faltered.
“I don’t care, I don’t care,” you repeated, shaking your head, “fuck being in our right minds, we never were.” You pressed your lips against him again and his grip on you softened as you wrapped both arms behind his neck, so you pushed yourself against him harder, hitting the wall. You both grunted from the impact, his steady hands wrapped themselves around your waist to bring you closer. You pulled away kissing his jaw and down his neck. Satisfied with your actions, Jaehyun wrapped his arms under your legs, wanting you to jump. When you did, he walked back to the bed and dropped you on it, you slightly gasped from the sudden impact.
Watching Jaehyun crawl to you and hover above you was definitely a sight, he looked at you with dark eyes before attacking your neck with harsh kisses and little bites, like the dinner wasn’t enough for him. You tangled your hands into his hair, letting out sounds that craved for him to do more. You let out a breathy moan when he found the sweet spot below your ear.
Jaehyun smirks against your neck, “You like that huh? Just wait until I rip this off of you,” he mumbled, unbuttoning your jumpsuit.
Before he could strip you, you quickly reacted by pushing him off and straddling him. Jaehyun was taken aback at your sense of domination as you lowered your gaze at him, “Yes, I loved that,” you smirked, “but I expected more from you,” you dragged your finger along his jaw, his neck, down to his collarbone, and then his chest. Your touch sent flames to Jaehyun’s body, earning an impatient groan from him. 
You lower yourself until you’re kissing his neck again, you nip at his smooth skin, inhaling the cologne, everything turns you on at this rate. Jaehyun’s hands gripped your hips as you rose to take your time to unbutton his shirt until he got too impatient and tore it off himself. You’ve seen how his muscles strain the material of a shirt, but seeing them without it made the temperature in your body rise. You know he’s always been this fit, it just never occurred to you that he was this beautifully sculpted. There was a chain that delicately laid on his chest, you admired it for a while before kissing his bare chest, grazing your fingertips against his robust abdomen, and pecking at the small trail of hair from his belly button. You could feel him getting hard under your touch as his tip brushed against your thigh, you reached your hand down, gently putting pressure on his member. Earning a sudden but quiet groan from him, you continued palming him until he was in a frenzy.
“Stop teasing me angel,” Jaehyun grunted, you simper at the nickname and at how much power you had over him.
“Or what?” You poked your tongue against the inside of your mouth, impatiently waiting for his answer.
“Or else I’ll have to teach yo-” you cut Jaehyun off by smacking your lips against his.
You mumbled between kisses, “you...talk...too much.” You hooked your fingers around the loop of his pants, again, taking your time to unzip it. Jaehyun took over your actions and threw it off of him, him now being the one only in undergarments.
“I wanna fuck you so badly,” Jaehyun bit his lip, his hands clutching onto your hips as you unconsciously roll your clothed core against his member.
You chuckled at his statement of desperation, “fuck me senseless then,” you whispered, chills running down his spine at your sultry voice.
Jaehyun reached his head up to meet your lips, he grazed his tongue against your bottom lip, so you mimicked him as a way of letting him enter your mouth. You want to feel more, you need to feel more so you kept rolling your core against his hardened member. You let out a loud gasp, but Jaehyun quickly hushes you by biting the bottom of your lip, you narrow your eyes at him, wincing at the pain that brought unknown pleasure. His eyes were filled with starvation and lust as he strips you down to your bra and panties. You curse at yourself for not matching them, having no idea this would ever occur. Jaehyun didn't care though, because he was too busy treasuring the sight in front of him.
The tingling feeling that was once forgotten, returned and you needed it to be released from your system. You threw your bra and panties off, Jaehyun widens his eyes at how driven you were in your actions, but he did the same because he needed to feel you too. Soon there was nothing but skin. Jaehyun was hovering above you, his chain dangling in front of you and looked at you with questioning eyes, but you knew what he was wondering.
“Please,” you begged, you brought your hand to your clit, tracing circles.
“Okay, okay,” he tears your hand away, replacing it with his.
Jaehyun has a way with his fingers. The slender and long digits drew the most pleasurable shapes against the lips of your core and your clit, your breath hitched when he gave no warning and slipped two fingers into your pussy. Your back arched at the feeling it brought, especially when he curled those beautiful fingers of his. When he slipped his fingers out, a hasty whine escaped your lips from the empty feeling.
“Look at you-” he smirked from above, “-we’re not even fucking yet and I’ve already got you wrapped around my finger, angel.” he lowered himself near your neck, giving it marks that would stain your neck for the next couple of days.
You shoved him off of you, pushing him aside and straddling him, “I can’t help it when you make me feel so good,” you dragged your response.
You grabbed his hard member that laid on his lower stomach and aligned it against your pussy. You gave him a sly smile before slowly sinking on his length. The both of you let out a relieved moan, Jaehyun quickly flipped you over until you were under him again. He covers your mouth with his hand, looking at you with clouded eyes.
“My parents are home,” he muttered in your ear.
“I don’t care,” you yanked his hand from your mouth, reaching up to devour him again.
You flipped him back over until you were on top of him again. It seemed like you both were fighting for dominance over each other, so stop it, you raised yourself and sunk onto his member again, picking up the pace. The two of you panted as you continued, occasionally stopping to ride him so you could catch your breath, but after a while, you started to feel tired and you faltered your pace. Jaehyun took notice of it so he firmly grasped your hips and took control. You moaned in his mouth from the pleasure you were receiving from him. To make it more pleasurable, Jaehyun flipped onto your stomach and entering in from behind. He drove his cock into you, bustling at an intense pace. Soon, the room was filled with your pants, gasps, and Jaehyun groans and muffled curses. It stenched like sex and sweat but felt like heaven.
Unexpectedly, Jaehyun spanked your ass, gaining whimpers from you, “you like that huh? You like that don’t you, you little slut,” he panted.
You paid no attention to his words, blinded by the pleasuring feeling inside of you, “go faster.” you commanded. 
Jaehyun flipped you back over so he could see you, see how tousled you look, “look at you, you're my bitch...and I...I own you,” he moaned, throwing his head back as his grip on your hips tightened enough to leave little blue patches the next day. 
Jaehyun set the pace as fast as he could and moments later, you found your fingers between his now unstyled hair, gripping it, while his hands wandered your body. The familiar, desired feeling rose in the pit of your stomach, indicating that you were close. You could feel it coming and you sensed Jaehyun was close too by the way his hips messily buckled against your core and how loud and uncontrolled his grunts were. Rapidly, you came, his name slipping from your lips. You held onto your anchor as your body shook and as stars blanketed your vision.
It didn’t take long for him to come after you, he rested his forehead against yours, “look at me,” he commanded, you did as he said. He peered down at you with those dark orbs of his, orbs that sent you pleasure, yet unknowingly, pain at the same time. 
“That was amazing.” he plopped beside you, hand on his stomach.
You laid there beside him, catching your breath too. When he got up to leave the bathroom, he came back with a warm, wet towel and wiped you down. You would flinch whenever he came close to your clit, having it still sensitive to be touched.
You were so tired from the wine and recent physical activity that you didn’t notice you knocked out. Jaehyun asked if you wanted to shower first, but realized you were already asleep, so he tucked you in, kissed your forehead, and made sure you were warm enough before he left. After showering, he joined you in bed, wrapping his arms around your waist. Everything was finally going smoothly, he smiled to himself.
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It was 7 AM when you abruptly woke up, you could feel a pair of arms tighten their hold around you, and your stomach dropped. You instantly knew whose arms they belonged to because it was definitely not the first time they’ve been around you. The serene feeling didn’t sit well, you froze in your spot when the memories of last night burst at you. The dinner, the wine, you two...kissing. Oh no, you feel panic setting into your bones, you remember the remarks he said as he fucked you last night, the way he said it and you felt a wash of panic. You were clearly too comfortable in this situation and you desperately needed to get out. You needed to leave.
With closed lids, Jaehyun was on the brink of waking up as his arms searched for your warm body, your touch, but unexpectedly all he got in return was the cold, empty spot coming from the bedsheets. He shot up in bed, alarmed at your absent presence.
“Y/n?” He didn’t hear the shower go off, none of your soft footsteps could be heard, so he called you again, “y/n?” but there was nothing but silence.
Stillness enveloped him when he noticed that all of your belongings were gone, your clothes, your purse, your shoes. He called and texted you but you never answered. Jaehyun chucked a pillow to the floor in frustration and collapsed on the bed, hands rubbing his face and letting out a loud sigh. Jaehyun knew he fucked up.
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popculturebuffet · 3 years
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Sparkshortstravaganza! (Commissioned by WeirdKev27)
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Well this was a needed kick in the pants. When I first heard of the Sparkshorts program I was excited. As a kid I loved PIxar, as an adult I love pixar and as an old man dealing with the loss of his partner floating away in my balloon house, i’ll still love pixar. So the idea of a program focused on giving new fresh talent the room to do whatever they wanted and make content that would be on Disney Plus, a platform BADLY bereft of original animation? It was a dream come true and the first one I saw Kitbull is easily a masterpiece and something that I can vividly recall every part of to this day, which for my terrible short term memory recalling EVERYTHING is a rare feat few works have achived.  But given I have a REALLY bad habit of letting things I want to watch sit there if I don’t jump on them immediately.. I let it sit there and didn’t touch any of the shorts and mostly forgot about the program until now. Until Kev, my patron and the only person paying for reviews at the moment, though others are more than welcome wink wonk, just decided what the heck and to test out comissioning shorts picked these ones because why not. And given I had been dragging my feet and reading the descriptions found creative and suprisingly heavy premises... I was fully on board And better late than never because along with Soul this program has EASILY restored my faith in the company after Onward really disapointed. Granted they’ve done worse, while there are pixar films I haven’t seen I need to like Coco or Cars 3, I’ve vowed NEVER to watch Cars 2 unless I have to and that vow has served me well so far. The shorts here are as a whole beautifully animated, have a ton of wonderful concepts and even the two weaker ones are still gorgeous to look at and a decent watch regardless and both come from a very well meaning place with a very well meant message. So yeah i’m thankful for this comission and to show you why let’s go through every Sparkshorts so far and see why their so awesome.. after some background of course. 
Sparkshorts, for the uniniated, is a program by pixar where animators are given six months and a limited budget to create a film based on personal experince. The program was designed to test out new ways of animating, directing and creating and to find a creative “spark” in it’s employees. Thus each film feels unique, has it’s own style.. and is utterly charming. I’ll be looking at them chronologically as while this wasn’t my watch order, I feel it’s a bit neater that way. I’ve already taken long enough to get to watching these, let’s open these films up and see what makes them tick shall we?
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Purl: An Adorable Yarn Ball Vs Toxic Masculinity  Purl.. was better the more I thought about it. The first short released, it DOES have a good message and killer animation. The film takes place at B.R.O., a dude broey brockerage firm that’s painfully relasitic both in how broey it is and in how it looks. That’s to contrast our heroine: Purl, an adorable ball of yarn who just wants to be accepted but is instead ignored by the rest of the company till she changes herself up, donning a suit like her co workers she badly wants to fit in with and adopting their wolf of wallstreet esque douchebaggery. She finally gets accepted.. but ends up shedding her new self to help another Yarn Ball starting up.  Director Kristen Lester drew from personal experince, starting work at animation in a mostly male dominated workplace and thus having to adapt and only letting the femine side she’d repressed out when she moved to working at pixar, which had more female employees. The film DOES have a good message about toxic workplaces and toxic masulinty and learning the personal story did raise it a few notches as it made it clear to me that what SEEMED like an over exageration.. was probably just a light exageration given the kind of bro antics we’ve heard about at companies like Ubisoft. So while I didn’t like the film much at first honestly.. it’s over the top because it NEEDS to be because even though it’s 2021.. some idiots STILL don’t get it and kids are better off learning it now so it’ll hopefully stick when their entering the workforce. So we’ll get more people like perl willing to make a change and stick up for those like her and less dude bros. Still a decent and clever short with Perl’s bro form looking really neat and the animation on her in general is really fucking gorgeous. All in all not the best of these but still pretty good and while a bit thick on the message.. it kinda has to be. 
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Smash And Grab: A Jaunty Ride to Freedom
This was a really fun one. Directed by Brian Larson and inspried by his need for a break from routine this follows two robots, the titular smash and grab who are designed to well.. smash and grab coal-like energy things for a train and have for years and years. The two long to high five, but can’t because their hooked to tubes so they can’t escape. But one day Smash looks out the window and not only sees fellow robots living a better life.. but a way to power him and his buddy/love intrest? I mean bromance or romance, either way it works. Point is our heroes escape, and have to fight security.  It’s just a really damn fun and creative movie. While robots wanting a better life isn’t new, the crisp art deco animation, breakneck pace, fun gags and heartwearming relationship between the two bots is just charming as hell. It’s just a fun ride the whole way through with a lot of heart and creativity with the two’s way they throw coal to one another used to take out the guards, and all together just some really good set pieces. Easily one of my faviorites here and that’s a high water mark to pass. 
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Kitbull: Tiny Orphan Kitty + Big Abused Doggo = Best Friends
As I said this is the only one of these I saw before today and as I said it’s stuck with me. I love dogs. I have one of my own named Yoshi whose just a sweet boy. So i’ve always loved ALL DOGS.. and was thus horrified years ago when I learned about the stigma Bulldogs get. Seen as “agressive’ and “Mean’ and victious.. when really a lot of them, including my grandpa’s own pitbull when I was little, are just loveable as any other dogs. And having also known a former fighting dog my friend owned, if a much smaller min pin rather than a pitbull, who by the time I met him had become the sweetest dog you’d ever meet.. yeah.. don’t mistreat a dog just because some assholes force it to fight to the death because their sick, horrible, ghastly human beings.. if they can even be CALLED human beings after doing that to these poor animals.  My point is it’s nice to have a short about such a needed subject. Director Rosana Sullivan actually had the idea for the short for years and intended to do it as a side project, but when the program cropped up she moved it to pixar and the result is one of the most popular and easily one of the best of an already bright bunch, brought on by her love of animals and working in a shelter. It’s also one of Pixar’s first 2d animated projects and proves their just as good at that as cgi.  It’s the touching story of a kitty whose alone in the world and initally mistrustful and hissy at a big dog she finds and is naturally scared of.. until she grows to bond with the dog, realizing much like a LOT of fucking people need to that pitbulls.. are just dogs and often victims of circumstance and the poor, sweet pooch who just wants his owner to love him.. is instead thrown into a fighting pit, nearly killed and forced to make a daring escape with their new forever friends help. It’s through this wonderful, heartrending friendship that the dog finds freedom and the cat.. finds them both a home, no longer running from people but instead making sure they both get a person. It’s often brutal at times, with the scene of the dog being forced to fight being one of the most striking: while we thankfully don’t see the action, we HEAR IT, as does the poor kitty, and we see the aftermath: a friendly harmless dog thrown out into the cold just because it dosen’t WANT to fight. It’s just really heartrending stuff that makes the happy ending all the better. It’s also gorgeiously animated which I mentioned but i’ll say it again; the animation here is GOREGOUS, unqiue and stunning. Go watch this if you haven’t. 
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Float: This is Why Krakoa Exists
This.. has easily been the hardest to review of the bunch. While ALL of these stories are very personal, very inclusive and very intresting, this one.. is a bit rougher than most of them and hits REALLY close to home. See this one was built out of director Bobby Rubio’s experinces raising his son who has autisim. 
It’s about a dad who discovers his infant son can float... and thus gets stares of fear or judgment from eveyrone around him slowly getting broken down by this. So he makes a HORRIBLE judgment call and rather than just accept some people are assholes, weighs his son’s backpack down with stones despite him hating it then drags him away when he ends up floating off, before screaming at the poor kid WHY CAN’T YOU BE DIFFRENT.. He DOES instantly regret this and the ending is genuinely touching as the father finally accepts his son is different and throws him into the air while on a swing, letting his son soar as he always should’ve. It is a beautifully animated and well meant film and the filipino representation is truly great: Rubio originally was going to have the characters as white but his fellow animators convinced him to go for represntation and be true to himself and honestly in a time when disney itself has had to be fought to get queer representation most of the time, it’s nice that pixar at least is a part of it that throughly encourages representation and will gladly put diversity and representation over any bullshit “risk factors”.  That being said.. while this was a decent short with a very well intentioned message and it clearly connected with a lot of people.. it wasn’t for me and I say this as someone who has autisim. As someone who has worn down people’s patince and been starred at by a freak for something I was way too young to properly deal with.  I’ve been in this Kid’s shoes. 
And that’s the problem: The metaphor dosen’t really work for me. While auitism CAN have some benifits and I wouldn’t be any other way i’d be lying if I said it was easy having trouble commuincating, constnatly misreading people, constnatly worrying if someone’s going to like you, and hyperfocusing on a problem instead of being able to set it and forget it for a bit to my own detriment. There’s other problems and not ALL of my issues come from anxiety disorder: I also have anxiety and depression. They just bleed badly INTO said autisim sometimes, as it’s hard to effectively combat anxiety sometimes when your mind won’t let you. 
What i’m saying is... there aren’t any FAULTS in his powers. See i’m a fan of x-men, so I can only see this boy as a mutant, and yes I know they usually manfifest at puberty but there have been exceptions so don’t at me.. and one of them who has no real downsides other than the unfair stigma of being a mutant. He’s more like storm, who can control the elements and whose power only enhances her life nad lesss like say Rogue, who looks normal.. but can’t touch anyone without knocking them out at best or horribly abosrbing them into her head at worst. There’s no downside other than the fact people judge him and his dad is a dick about it.  And the dad part is hard because I get what Rubio is going for: parents make mistakes, parents mess up and their only human even if they should embrace their kids anyway. That’s a good message and one I support.. I just think Rubio was way TOO hard on himself and thus made his stand in into an unlikeable asshole, one whose more concerned with how everyone ELSE thinks and does the horribly abusive action of basically tying his son’s wings down so he can’t fly. He mans well, it’s so his son dosen’t float off.. but instead of finding a way to help him and work with him on it.. he just stuffs rocks in his back and forces the kid to be miserable so other people can be happy. It just goes way too far in the other direction to work. As I said I think it’s the guy being too hard on himself, manifesting his worst moments with his kids and his biggest regrets and making himself into a very hard to like character because he has trouble forgviing himself for how he acted. So I want to say if you ever read this bobby while I wasn’t hte biggest fan of your film.. I do wholly support you and your son.. and the fact you made an entire FILM just to show your sturggle and show people there not alone was a beautiful act. You are not a bad person , we all make mistakes and we’re all just human. You are a good man Bobby Rubio. I may of not liked your metaphor... but your message is beautiful. 
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Wind: Immigration by Way of Rocket Science
Thankfully moving on.. this one is tied with Kitbull for my faviorite. It has a truly intriguing premise, a great metaphor, stunning animation, and is just really moving, gripping and fun to watch. This one was by Edwin Chang, and as is usualy by now, it was built on personal experince.. but not his. It was built on the fact his father was an immigrant who had to leave his mother, Chang’s grandmother, behind to a better life. She rejoined them eventually but it left an impact on his father and thus serves as the core of this story. And honestly knowing that only STRENGTHENS an already impresssive sci fi short.  It’s the story of a boy, apparently named Ellis so i’ll use that, and his grandmother who live in a bizzare, hauntingly beautifuly stygian sinkhole that has floating rocks and debris. The two spend their day farming potatoes and grabbing whatever they can to hopefully make their way out. But it becomes clear to young Ellis after they find a plane his grandmother wants HIM to go alone and escape and is willing to sacrifice herself.. and ends up having to trick the boy into thinking sh’es going along in order to get him to do what he needs to surivive and thrive. It’s a truly gut wrenching story as even when she seems to have found a way for them both to leave.. it’s very clear she’s simply training him with all the welding tools and what not so he has skills to make it out there on his own in the unknown. So he can live without her.. but more importantly.. so he CAN LIVE. Away from the darkness, not having to scrape and to surivive and hopefully find something better out there. While the old parental figure sacrifciing thsmelves so the youngun can start hteir journey isn’t new.. it’s the unique, beautiful and haunting setting and the emotoin, conveyed only through the utterly beautiful animation that make this story feel fresh, along with it’s great metaphor. This short is just haunting, beauitful and really damn sad, and I only dont’ have all that much to say because it’s all in the visuals. The only thing I have left is like all of these really, watch it. But especailly this one. 
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Loop: Enough Said
This is part of the reason I didn’t like Float all that much. Loop is just.. way better at conveying the experinces of having auitism. While Renee is a more severe case than me I can relate to what kicks off the film: Renee, usually paired with an adult at the camp she at, is forcibley paired with a chatty boy named Marcus. While Marcus is eager to go home and has no idea how to interact with the two the two genuinely bond, with Marcus slowly getting into Renee’s world. The key scene for this and the one that clinches the film is Renee waving her hands over the reeeds in the water, throughly enjoying it with marcus not getting it.. till he tries himself. Director Erica Milsom, whose worked with autistic children and picked this medium entriely because i’ts perfect for a non verbal character and is one that can tackle heavy issues like this in a way to help people understan, really wanted to counter most depections of severe autisim, paticuarlly sensory issues. While we see the good in them instead of JUST her freaking out or being overwhelemed: how her sounds and the things she feels truly relax her and how she really DOES enjoy nature and is perfectly at home there. It’s just a beautiful way to show this disablility is not ALL bad, as many works tend to focus soley on the drawbacks. While I had my issues with Float part of it was it had too much good.. but Loop is superior at this simply because it shows both with unflinching honesty: The beauty of something that calms and relaxes your brain or a touch or sensation that just FEEELS really good, things that while again i’m not on the same level as Renee.. I can still fully relate to.  But what puts it over float besides not having a messy metaphor is it DOES show the issues that come with it.. but does so WELL and with nuance. It shows how isolating autisim can be, especially for someone like Renee who can’t talk, how people are sometimes freaked out by you and don’t know how to interact with you and how adults can MEAN WELL, and the counsler setting them off was a good idea in the end... but can also be misguided and not fully know how to handle you without overwhelming you. It shows just how bad a panic attack can be, how you can just.. shut down and drive away. It was easily the sequence that hit the hartest and resonated the most as I’ve had those, and i’ve just shut down with no one able to reach me.. and it makes it all the more touching as Marcus eventually realizes how to handle things, and gives her space despite the setting son and the peril of being stranded.. because he realizes she needs it and offers to simply be there when she’s ready. It’s a touching, wonderful gesture, capped by him giving her a reed.. and the two heading home finally udnerstanding one another.This one is very close to wind in my heart and I think I found even more love for it writing this review and realizing just how much it hit me. And that ain’t bad. 
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Out: Be Proud of Who You Are.. with the help of a gay cosmic space cat 
Speaking of hitting close to home and really resonating with me, we have Pixar’s first short with a gay main character, with his sexuality being the center of this. And as a bi person who had struggle accepting his sexuality let alone telling anyone, even when you know someoen will likely accept you.. this naturally hit hard. I took some time to realize I was bi, and when I did I was terrified of telling my mom, despite her being loving, supportive and just wonderful, same with my brother. Both fully accepted me as I figured and had no issue with it, esepcially sine my romantic history is nearly non existant anyways, but I related to our hero Greg’s fears of coming out to his parents despite them being utterly wonderful, well meaning people. It’s hard to come out, it’s hard to admit that about yourself, and it’s hard knowing you may not be accepted or things may change. I had an even harder time coming out to my dad, who I fully expected being a trump supporter and having said “if gay marriage is leagal I should be able to marry my cat”, to not support me and to loose him.. and was proud and suprised when nope, he was utterly supportive and happy for me.. if a bit awkward with the “be careful with sex” advice.. to someone whose had none and may never will due to being awkward as shit. But he meant well and the point is I really related to this, and it’s easily one of the best coming out stories of this kind, tied handily with Schitt’s Creek’s episode about Patrick coming out to his parents that dealt with the same theme.  And naturally given the nature of these shorts it was a story close to Stephen Clay Hunter’s heart, as he group up a gay nerd in the 80′s a time when homophobia was even worse and representation was near non-existent. So when given the shot he wanted to make something for a young him, something they can look at and point to and tha’ts me. And the behind the scenes short for this one sold just how... big this felt for him. To draw two men in love and embrcing, to see guys mo capping that. To see someone LIKE him on screen. It shows just how important representation is and how dumb it is it took 20 goddamn years at pixar for them to get gay. 
The short itsel is delightful as we open with a gay space cat and dog appearing in a rainbow. The Cat and Dog are watching Greg, a nice young man whose moving out of his small town with his boyfriend Manuel.. only to panic when his parents who he hasn’t come out to show up to help move and try and hide the one photo he has of them. And despite Manuel seeing it as a very easy thing to do to come out.. it’s not for Greg. He knows it’s hard and a scene of him practicing shows the poor guy breaking down at the thought of telling them despite getting every indicatio their nice people.  It’s then the whole Space Cat thing comes in as the cat enchanted Greg’s dog’s collar, so when greg puts it on as  a jest, it’s a body swap! So naturally we get tons of REALLY well animated shenanigans as Greg has to get his body back. Seriously the animation here is gorgeous with director Hunter choosing the painted on , impercet style to give it a storybook feel which fits the story perfectly.. seriously if Disney hasn’t made a story book of this do so.. and if they won’t someone on etsy do it because Etsy is apparently where the merch companies should be making happens.
The point is it’s fun, furious and leads to some great gags.. and then we get the emotional punch to the godnand as Greg bites his mom’s hand in order to prevent her finding a photo of him and his boyfriend. He instnatly regrets it, and breaking the photo in the process and goes to comfort her.. and we get easily the most emotinal, most beautiful part of it as Greg finds out his mom is hurt as she can clearly tell he’s keeping her at arms length and dosen’t want to loose him.. and she’s known all along he was gay.. just like the Schitts Creek example it’s clear she’s hurt a bit her son is scared to tell her but just wants him to be happy. So with a brilliant use of a squeaky toy greg switches back.. and comes out, with his dad warmly hugging miguel when he introduces himn and the space dog crying. Just a beautiful, charming, fun, and gorgeously animated short with some badly needed representation.
Also... one last note. This isn’t related to the short.. but Disney, who once again proves they can’t be progressive without stabbing themselves in the foot and no I will not stop giving out about this. This time’s especailly bad as while Out was heavily promoted.. the descripton DOSEN’T mention it having Pixar’s first gay lead and goes out of it’s way to hide Greg being gay despite the fact the short dosen’t and his being in the closet is the whole conflict of the short. And the not mnentiong the first gay lead thing is noticable because Loop DID rightly point out it was their first non verbal proganist. You can’t.. brag about being progressive about one thing and then try to hide your being progressive about another you idiots. Plus the “pleasing the bible belt” ship has sailed and left port. Ducktales is gay as hell with Penny being gay, even if Disney won’t let her just come out and say it, the crew still had her say it as much as they could, Violet’s dad’s being gay, Della being bi and Webby and Lena being as close to a couple you can get without disney screaming at them no. Andi Mack is fully avaliable on D+ as well.. well okay not fully because the dad turned out to be a pedophile, but still a series with a fully gay character is out there. And finally Owl House got TONS of press for having a bi progatanist and having her love intrest be a girl. Even if Dana Terrance had to FIGHT for that, and rightly so good on her, the point is you have queer characters already. The groups that hate you for that aren’t going to magically stop hating you because you hide the fact a short anyone can see from minute one is very , beautifully gay, I mean it starts with a very swishy space cat emerging from a rainbow atop a pink dog. COME ON. I only have a few words left for disney..
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Okay whew, one more and we’re out of here. 
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Burrow: It’s Okay to Ask for Help and To Bang a Willing Salamander This was the first one I watched today. In hindsight had I properly researched the shorts and realized how heavy they were I probably would’ve saved this one for later to help balance out the deep feels of some of these. While Burrow is VERY VERY good, as all these shorts have been even Float, it’s subject matter is a lot lighter. I mean so far we’ve had stories about toxic masculinity, animal abuse, issues accepting your child is diffrent, sacrficing yourself so your loved one can have a better life, autisim and coming out of the closet. Even Smash and Grab which is light and breezy.. still has a disney death, and is still about a heroic rush to freedom from slavery whenyou think about it. This one.. is about an insecure bunny whose afraid to ask for help and ends up learning to get it while ending up plumiting through a bunch of comedic set pieces. It’s basically if Winnie the Pooh and Bugs Bunny had a baby comedy wise, it has the warm feeling of pooh art wise, a storybook quality tha’ts utterly adoring.. but director Madeline Sharafan specifccally wanted the animators to take after chuck jones, using lots of great expressions and reactions. It has a real classic theatrical screwball comedy vibe and given The Looney Tunes, Droopy, and Tom and Jerry mean the world to me and i’m glad nto reocnnect with 2/3 thanks to HBO Max.. I fucking loved it. 
Burrow is still a personal story and is based on Sharifan’s experinces having trouble colaberating, wanting something to be fully baked before showing it off, something I agian relate to. She often hid from the others and refused to show her work until it was done while everyone else was happy to help. And as the previously used to slam disney hard with something they own Hickman Era of X-men has shown.. colaboration is just better and more freeing. By having friends and colleuge s to bounce off of you refine ideas, see how people react to them and grow a bit and that’s what the shorts about. 
The plot is easily the simpliest of these: A young bunny wants to build her dream burrow but gets self concious when she runs into a friendly mole and rat living next door to where she wants to build and keeps digging to find both privacy and her own place.. and instead ends up digging into various shenangians and other burrows from frogs, to hedgehogs to most memorably some Salmanders taking a sauna.. and in the best and most ‘how the fuck did they get away with this bit of it”, one of the salamanders ends up .. gladly removing his town and being liike “You wanna do this? I mean I got an hour free” And i’m just saying while now wasn’t the time and the offer was a little awkward i’d go for it if I was her. I mean at least ask him out for coffee later. He seems nice enough if low on boundries. Then ride him until the morning light girl, ride it. She also finds the Demon Bear from New Mutants at one point.. so that’s where he retried to after danny kicked his ass again. Neat. 
But eventually our heroione digs herself too deep and ends up hitting water before finding a 
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Who sees her crumpled plans and then does the stygian call of the badger to call all the other animals to help and after they escape the flood, the bunny finally realizes their good people and lets them see the plans. So we end on our heroine and her new friends and possible salamander lover helping her settle in as she finallyg ets the home she wanted, complete with disco. I mean every home should have a disco. If I didn’t have a ceeling fan i’d have a disco ball.. and I still want one just to set somewhere or hang away from the fan . Let me dream dammit. Overally a fun, hilarious, mad dash short with a good message and a good note to go out on.
Final Thoughts: Overall.. the Sparkshorts program is fucking spectacular, a great way to let some of Pixar’s staff get into the directors chair and really shine, and a way to tackle issues that they may not be able to get greenlit into a full film. Lushily animated, well produced, Pixar has announced MORE are coming and I cannot wait. Thank you kev for comissioning this, and thank you all for reading. If your new and liked this review, follow this blog as I talk disney all the time: when they come back i’ll be doing regular coverage of Amphibia, Ducktales and the Owl House as new episodes come out every week, and i’m currently doing a retropsective on the three cablleros kev also paid for, with the finale of it, an episode by episode look at the legend of the three cablleros, starting this week. I’m also covering LIfe and times of scrooge mcduck (though infrequently for a bit), and finishing up a look at darkwing duck’s just us justice ducks, started with looks at all the players involved and finshing next week with the episode itself.  So if any of that sounds good to you, check out the archives, but goodbye, goodbye, goodbye for now. 
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ifmywishescametrue · 3 years
Text
pancakes and stuffed bears
2k of fluffy alpha bucky/omega tony (with mentions of alpha steve / stuckony) for my @stb-bingo square: o5 - trip to ikea
also on ao3
Bucky wakes up slowly, groggily realizing that Tony is whispering his name. A finger pokes his cheek, and he slaps it away with his eyes still shut. He rolls onto his stomach and buries his face in his pillow, mumbling, “No, go away. It’s too early.”
Tony whines his name this time, dragging it out to be almost ten seconds long, as he shifts to straddle his lower back. He can’t lean down very far with his swollen stomach in the way, but he can still use his hands to prod at him. Fingernails drag lightly down the back of his neck, making the flesh rise in bumps. 
“It’s almost ten,” Tony says. “Get up.”
“Go bother Steve.”
“Steve isn’t here. You’re the only one I have to bother, and your daughter wants the Swedish pancakes from Ikea.”
Bucky turns his head to the side, cracking one eye open to frown up at his mate. “Where did Steve go?”
“Unimportant. The pancakes are the real issue here.”
Bucky laughs, “Pancakes are only for people who tell me where Steve went.”
Tony rolls off of Bucky so he can sit up. “I was half-asleep when he said it, so all I know is that there was a problem with something at the gallery that might have to do with the opening on Friday or it might have nothing to do with it, but it was either Sam that called him or it was Sharon.”
Bucky gets up from bed and looks over at the omega, who’s already dressed in a stretched out t-shirt that used to be his and the maternity pants that he begrudgingly wears even though he hates them. Tony’s hand is covering the bump, rubbing slow circles into it. 
He smiles at the sight even as he says, “That’s not all that helpful.” 
“I’m honestly not that sure it had anything to do with the gallery now that I’m really thinking about it. He might have said he was going there later and somewhere else now, but there was an S name mentioned somewhere in there for sure, though.”
“So all we really know is that he’s somewhere that isn’t here,” Bucky summarizes, opening the closet to find some clothes to get dressed. 
Tony sighs, “Yeah, he should really know better than to tell me things by now.” 
Bucky pulls out the first things his hands touch, ending up with a plain white t-shirt and jeans that might actually belong to Steve instead of him. When they moved houses, they didn’t do a very good job labeling the boxes, and as a result Steve and Bucky discovered that their closets might as well be interchangeable. Coupled with how often Tony steals their things these days, he has no idea what’s his and what’s someone else’s anymore. 
He gets dressed and tosses his dirty pajamas in the hamper, then tells Tony. “Just give me ten minutes to finish getting ready and we can go.”
“Really thought I would have to persuade you more on these pancakes,” Tony comments, following him into the bathroom. 
“After the ice cream incident last week?” Bucky raises his eyebrows in the mirror as he reaches for his toothbrush. “I’m not questioning any of your pregnancy cravings after that, baby doll. I think you traumatized poor Steve.”
Tony rolls his eyes, a small smile on his face as he leans back against the counter. “He’s recovered from it by now, and it’s not my fault that the baby wanted rocky road and he brought home moose tracks.”
“The baby is awfully demanding lately,” Bucky teases, squeezing out toothpaste onto the brush. “Wonder where she gets it from.”
“Probably you.”
Bucky hums through his mouthful of toothpaste, and he lifts his free hand to rest on Tony’s stomach. He can’t help but touch it every chance he gets, hoping to feel their daughter kick beneath his palm. She usually responds to the sound of his or Steve’s voice, and they’ve both been known to spend long periods talking to her just to feel her move. Tony alternates between loving it and hating it, depending on how many times she’s already kicked him in the bladder or ribs that day. 
He spits out the toothpaste and rinses his mouth, then finishes off the rest of his morning routine with as much speed as possible. 
Before they leave he grabs his wallet and phone, checking the device for any notifications from overnight. There’s a text from Steve waiting for him, and he reads it while pulling on his shoes. 
“Steve is at the zoo with Sam because one of their chaperones for the field trip dropped out at the last minute,” he tells Tony as they walk downstairs to the front door. He turns his screen so Tony can see the picture Steve sent of him with Sam and Natasha’s son in the butterfly house. There’s a blue butterfly on Steve’s shoulder, and Alex’s eyes are crossed as he tries to look up at the orange one on his forehead.
Tony frowns, “Wow, that doesn’t sound familiar at all. I don’t think he said that.”
Bucky reads directly from the second text in the chain, “‘And when you talk to Tony, tell him that I told him all of this earlier, and he said ‘that’s nice’ then fell back asleep.’”
“Well then.”
Bucky laughs as he grabs his car keys from the hook on the wall. He sends Steve a reply while walking down the front steps, telling him to have fun and send more pictures. Almost immediately he receives another one, and he shows it to Tony once they get in the car. 
“Look at this one, babe.”
Alex is on Sam’s shoulders, eating from an ice cream cone that’s dripping onto Sam’s head. Sam doesn’t look amused by it, but Steve’s grin shows that he’s loving the situation. The caption says, “That’s going to be us soon,” with four smiley face emojis. 
Tony doesn’t say anything, and when Bucky glances away from the picture to look at him, his eyes are wet and his lip is quivering. 
“Baby, are you crying?”
“No, I’m fine,” Tony says unconvincingly, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand and completely failing to keep the tears from falling. 
Bucky snaps a picture of it and sends it to Steve. 
“Fuck you, asshole,” Tony whines, the tears flowing freely now while Bucky tries his best not to laugh at him. Pregnancy hormones have him crying at the drop of a hat these days when he rarely cried before. Bucky can only remember seeing it once, on the night that the three of them bonded, and even then it was hardly more than watery eyes. “And tell your stupid husband to go fuck himself, too.”
“My stupid husband?” Bucky scoffs, backing out of the driveway and onto the street. “I believe he is our stupid husband.”
“He’s yours when he’s making me cry with his dumb sappy face.”
Bucky reaches over the center console to take Tony’s hand, running his thumb across his knuckles soothingly. “I’ll be sure to tell him that you think his face is dumb.”
“And to go fuck himself.”
Bucky bites his lip to keep the laugh in, nodding, “And to go fuck himself. Of course, honey. I’ll let him know.”
Tony wipes at his cheeks again, using his sleeve to soak up the last of them, and he sniffles a few times to clear his nose. 
Bucky almost asks him if he’s alright, but then he remembers the last time he did that after an unexpected bout of crying and it started all over again. So instead, he lifts their joined hands and kisses the back of Tony’s to make him smile. 
They drive in comfortable silence, and Tony seems completely fine again by the time they reach the Ikea. His mood goes even higher the closer they get to the food court, and Bucky grins at the satisfaction on Tony’s face when he finally gets to have his pancakes. His moan at the first bite is almost obscene, and his eyes flutter shut in bliss. 
“Should I leave you two alone?” Bucky jokes, sipping on his orange juice. “I feel like I’m intruding on a private moment.”
“Remember that thing Steve was doing to you last night with his tongue? I guarantee this is better than that,” Tony says, and Bucky almost chokes on his juice. He glances around them, but no one seems to overheard the comment.
“I don’t know, you weren’t on the receiving end of that, babe.”
“And you’ve never had a pregnancy craving satisfied before. Morgan and I are very happy over here.”
Bucky smiles at the use of the name they recently decided on. Between the three of them, it felt like they might never find one they were all happy with. Every time two of them agreed, the third would inevitably hate it and exercise their veto power, which might have been the worst idea in history. Morgan was the first that no one hated, and when Steve put his hands on Tony’s baby bump and said the name, her enthusiastic kick ended any further debate. 
The topic of the last name has been avoided completely so far, but Steve and Bucky already privately agreed that they want her to have Tony’s alone, no matter which one of them ends up being the biological father. 
“We should look at stuff for the nursery while we’re here,” Bucky suggests. 
So far, the room only has the staple pieces of furniture: a crib, changing table, and an antique rocking chair for the corner. The walls are a pale shade of gray, and Steve is working on painting pastel flowers onto them. 
Tony nods, swallowing his large mouthful before saying, “She needs one of those giant stuffed bear things.”
Bucky raises an eyebrow, “Did she tell you this herself?”
Tony laughs and flicks a piece of fruit at him, which Bucky manages to catch and pop into his mouth. “Yes, she did. She’ll be very upset if we go home without one.”
“Well, we can’t have that, now can we?”
Tony finishes the rest of his food, and Bucky takes care of clearing the trash and plates. Grabbing his hand, Tony drags him through the store until they reach the kids section, where he proceeds to practically coo at every cute thing. Bucky can’t blame him for it, though, because he’s feeling a little overwhelmed watching his pregnant omega hold a rattle shaped like a giraffe for their daughter. 
Tony finds the giant bear he was talking about, and Bucky agrees immediately that it’s a necessity, even without Tony turning his wide, pleading eyes on him. 
He picks it up, saying, “Steve is going to kill us when he sees that our house looks like an Ikea exploded in it.”
“He’ll kill you,” Tony corrects, smiling as he strokes his hand over the swell of his stomach. “I’m protected by Morgan.”
“Damn, you’re right,” Bucky says, but it doesn’t stop him from picking up the nightlight that’s shaped like a flower. “She needs this, too.”
Tony grins, “Absolutely she does.”
Bucky’s arms get piled full of baby items. Blankets, bibs, a bath towel with a hood, toys, and stuffed animals that he struggles to see over top of on the way to the register. Tony guides him with one hand on his elbow so he doesn’t trip over anything. 
They end up filling three large blue bags, and Bucky carries all of them to the car, rejecting Tony’s offer of taking one of them. He loads them into the trunk, turning to see Tony’s smiling face when he closes it, and he can’t resist pulling him into a kiss right there in a parking lot. 
When they break apart, he leans down and presses a kiss to the top of the bump. “Baby girl, you are going to be so incredibly spoiled,” he sighs. 
“She’ll be happy,” Tony says, and his eyes are wet again. 
Bucky nods, kissing the omega’s cheek and repeating, “She’ll be happy.”
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fever-dreamer97 · 4 years
Text
Let’s Try This Again
Summary: "There's no way it's her." Bakugou kept repeating in his head as he stared at the girl in the front of the class. His heartbeats gain speed in his ears as the color drained from his face. But it was her. It was the childhood friend he grew up bullying and tormenting until they were nine before she disappeared: Midoriya Izumi. Now, she is his new classmate in their second year of high school at UA. It's official: the universe really does hate him.
Fem!Izuku/Bakugou No Quirk AU
Chapter 1: Seven Years Ago...
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"Huh? What do we have here?" A blonde boy chuckled with smug pride. A group of other boys surrounds behind him, laughing along as they stare ahead at their target.
Their target: a small, pale girl with untamable green curls and freckles that decorate her face like the stars in the galaxy. She was thin and looks like she couldn't hurt a fly. She wore her class standard uniform, and on her back was an All-Might themed backpack. The pack weighed on her shoulders as it was a bit heavier than it usually was on most days.
At the boy's booming voice, she immediately freezes, not sure how to continue on her way. She clutches at the pack's straps before she eventually decides to turn slowly toward the boy and his lackeys. Her large emerald eyes are full of fear and worry at what's to come, and her frail body started to tremble.
"K-Kacchan..." She offers as a reply in her delicate voice.
"Oi, Deku. It's always fun to see you. But also, it pisses me off when you have to make me find you around this dump."
Katsuki stomps toward the trembling girl with a dark smirk before he smacks a hand beside her face. She lets out a squeal in fear at the sound and brings her small hands in front of her face.
"You weren't gonna leave without seeing me today, were you?" he mocks into her face, his smirk growing as she shields herself.
Deku doesn't say anything but keeps her gaze on the floor between his feet.
"Answer me, Deku," he snapped harshly.
She jerks before she lets out a meek, "No, Kacchan."
"That's what I thought. Because, how else would you be able to get the homework packet that I received today? I got better things to do, so you can just do it for me." He takes out the said packet from his bag and shoves it into Deku's shielding hands. She stumbles from the impact, and the homework packet falls to the floor at her feet before she could catch it.
A series of echoing laughter rings out from the group of boys at the girl's clumsiness as Katsuki sneers in annoyance. "Great, now it's gonna have dirt on it when I turn it in!" He snaps loudly.
Deku flinches at the voice before she bends down and picks up the packet. Kacchan lets out a click of his tongue before he shoves Deku into the wall.
"I will say the one good thing about you, Deku, is that you can be smart. Obviously not as much as me, but I'm not in the mood to do extra work today. So, you better make sure every answer is right. For every wrong answer, you'll see what will happen." He spat out in her face.
Deku continues to tremble as she keeps her gaze on the floor. She opens her mouth but then quickly shuts it. Katsuki brings back his smirk before he backs away from her and walks over to his lackeys.
"Thanks De-"
"I-I can't do it for you..."
The group of boys and Katsuki freeze at the reply from the girl before his rage kicks in. He slowly turns back to her. "...What did you just say, Deku?" He questions with a cold and mocking voice.
Deku still refused to look at him and bites her bottom lip in fear. "I-I c-can't do the p-packet for you...I-I won't b-be in s-school tomorrow..."
Katsuki huffed at the weak excuse. "Huh? Then you can drop it off at my house in the morning before I leave for school."
Deku's eyes start to water but she kept her ground. "I-I...I w-won't be able to, Kacchan...I'm s-sorry..." She gives him a way to ease the tension. This doesn't work, however. It makes the rage in him burn more.
"And why can't you, huh?!" He races toward her, grabs the collar of her shirt, and yells in her face. Deku finally looks up in his eyes with terror as his death glare burns into her.
"I-I j-just c-can't..." She says meekly.
Katsuki and her start a staring match: one pair of eyes filled with panic and the other filled with malice. Eventually, after a good minute, Katsuki sneers and shoves Deku back into the wall again, this time with a lot more force.
Deku whimpers in pain as her head hit the wall and rubs at the sore spot. The packet also was snatched out of her hands. Her shock momentarily erases her pain before she looked back up at Katsuki.
"Damn hindrance. I don't have time to argue with someone like you," he spat before he whips around and stomps back at the lackeys.
Deku lets out a sigh, thinking the situation was over. But his voice booms out again. "At least we all get a day-off from the mumbling freak!" Deku flinches again at the cold voice.
The lackeys laugh and agreed with the statement. Katsuki darkly smiles at the girl before he lets out his final statement to her.
"Maybe you should do all of us a favor and make it permanent. Just head on up to the roof and take that one-step shortcut. It would help all of us if you just didn't exist!" He laughs out with malice.
The temperature of the room drops tremendously at his statement, even his lackeys freeze up.
Deku's face morphs into a look of disbelief and her ears ring with what she just been told.
Katsuki turns back and stomps past his lackeys. His gut screams something at him, but he ignores how twisted his insides suddenly feel now.
Deku snaps out of her gaze and watches as the lackeys hesitantly follow their leader. One of them looks back at her briefly with a slight look of pity and sympathy before he races up to the group.
Katsuki continues his march of victory before he imagines that the next words that come out of the girl's mouth were "Goodbye...Katsuki..."
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Bakugo jolts awake as his phone alarm blares in his ear. His hand smacks down on the snooze button before he rubs at his eyes.
Damn it, he thought back to that moment again. Annoyance filled his being before he pushes himself up into a sitting position on his bed. He glares at his sheets when he thinks back to that final moment he had with Izumi. Why does he keep thinking of that damn moment? It's been seven years for fuck's sake.
His annoyance is interrupted at the sound of his phone pinging with a new message, and he snatches the phone off his nightstand table. He opens it up to see a message from his best friend, Kirishima Eijirou.
Shitty Hair: Hey bro! me & the squad want to hit up the coffee shop b4 school starts! come with us!
He lets out a snort before replying.
Fine. But you're paying for me.
Shitty Hair: EH?? WHYYYY
Payment for that hellish study session over the weekend, asshole.
Shitty Hair: Fine, okay bro...Thanks for that again btw man!!
Katsuki clicks his tongue before dragging himself out of bed to get ready. Over the years, Katsuki has grown into an extremely handsome and fit young man. His body was now hard with muscles from his constant playing in sports, workouts, and hiking. That was one of the things that he and Kirishima bonded over was muscle training and sparring. When he and Kirishima get at it, they start competitions of who can lift the most and how long can they lift before the other gets tired.
He does his usual morning stretches before he starts to put on his UA school uniform: a white-collared, short-sleeved shirt with gold buttons, dark navy pants, and a gray, navy-striped jacket with gold buttons. Only the most high-end uniforms for one of the best schools in the nation. Of course, Katsuki was more than worthy to wear it.
There was also the school-issued tie that he stuffed carelessly into his pocket because he refused to wear something so fucking suffocating. But sometimes, he would get called out in the halls by some anal rule-pushing teacher. Other times, it would be that stick-in-the-ass, four-eyed class president.
After a quick brushing of his teeth, combing his hair, and rubbing on some deodorant, he was out of his bedroom with his backpack in hand. He stomps down the stairs to the kitchen where his parents were already up and about.
His dad, Masaru, sat at the breakfast table with his newspaper in hand and a cup of coffee at his side. His mom, Mitsuki, hovered over the stove with a frying pan in one hand, a spatula in the other. Katsuki could smell the scrambled eggs as soon as he entered the room.
"Good morning, Katsuki." Masaru chimed before taking a sip of his coffee. "Morning brat!" Mitsuki chirped out as well.
Katsuki clicked his tongue at her greeting. "I'm not a brat, you old hag!" He shouted as he went to the key bowl where his wallet laid. A sharp thud hit the back of his head and he rubbed it to ease the pain.
"DON'T CALL ME A OLD HAG, YOU DAMN BRAT!" She roared at him.
Katsuki bit his tongue to snap back at the look of rage in his mother's eyes. He wasn't scared, nope. He just didn't want to waste more of his time to get going to see the gang. That's it.
"Now, now. Don't be hasty." His dad tries to offer as a way to ease the moment. Mitsuki huffs and turns back to her frying pan before Masaru looks back at his son. "Are you already heading off to school, son?"
"No, some friends wanted to meet before-hand to get coffee."
"Oh, good! Say hi to Eiji-kun for us!" His mother chimes in.
Katsuki snorts. Figures, she sees Shitty Hair as the son she wished she had. Katsuki just grunts before he opens the front door. Before he could walk out, he hears from his father, "Goodbye, Katsuki!"
He slams it behind in his wake and walks down his sidewalk before he stops at the gate.
Goodbye...Katsuki.
The statement hangs in his mind as it has been for the past seven years and he swallows at the uncomfortable feeling of regret and sorrow.
Seven years. Seven years since he told his childhood friend to go kill herself. Seven years since she magically fell off the face of the earth and to this day, he still doesn't know what the hell happened to her.
Katsuki just shook his head in annoyance before letting out his signature click of the tongue and a sneer.
What's the point of thinking about this now? It's in the past. He just continues his way out of the gate and down the sidewalk towards his destination.
But the moment still lingers in the back of his mind.
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