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sequinsmile-x · 2 months

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Take My Hand, Take My Whole Life Too

“We know about you and Agent Hotchner.”

“Oh,” she says softly, clearing her throat as she bites the inside of her cheek and attempts to read their reactions, “You know?”

Her father nods solemnly, the same look on his face he’d had when she accidentally broke a priceless vase when she was 9. It makes her feel like a teenager, like a kid who didn’t know any better, not like a woman just shy of her 23rd birthday.

Emily and Aaron's love story, and how they never let go of each other's hand.

-x-

Hi friends,

This is a birthday present for the lovely @prentissinred!! I am forever grateful that this fandom and our mutual love of these idiots brought you into my life <3 And, here's hoping we get to hang out again at some point this year.

Love you very much, and I hope you enjoy another instalment of young hotchniss!

-x-

Words: 5.2k

Warnings: Estrangement from parents

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

September 1993

She feels anxiety spark in her chest the moment she turns onto her parent’s driveway, the oppressive nature of the forcing her to blow out a shaky breath even from the other side of the gate.

Even though she was living back in DC after finishing her masters she didn’t see them very often. Their relationship had always been strained, her resistance to be controlled like they wanted to control her, to fit perfectly into their lives, something she hadn’t grown out of once she left her teenage years like they hoped she would.

If she had a choice, she wouldn’t even be there this evening. She’d be at Aaron’s place, snuggled under a blanket on his couch as they ate Chinese food from the restaurant down the street from his apartment building. She��d be spending the evening with someone who loved her for who she was, not who they wanted her to be. But her dad had called her, something that was even rarer than her mother calling, and he’d asked her to come to dinner, an edge to his voice she didn’t remember hearing before, and her curiosity had won out.

She punches in the key for the gate without thinking about it. The number had always been the same, something that had driven every security professional her mom had ever hired crazy. It makes her smile as she thinks of her boyfriend, of how he’d still mention the code to the gate, his dry sense of humour something that never failed to make her laugh, and she shakes her head. She wishes he could be here with her and be by her side, but her parents didn’t know that they were together and, even though they’d been together for over a year, she didn’t want to tell them yet.

Part of it was a desire to protect him. He thought he understood how the world she had come from worked, that he’d figured it all out in the few months he worked for her parents on behalf of the FBI.

She frowns when the gate doesn’t open, and the small light under the number pad flashes red, she puts in the number again, making sure she pays attention this time, and the same thing happens.

“If that’s a sign I should just turn around and leave I don’t know what is,” she grumbles to herself before hitting the intercom, tucking her hair behind her ears as she waits for it to click through.

“Hello?”

She smiles softly at the sound of the housekeeper's voice, “Vanessa, hi, it’s Emily. The gate doesn’t seem to be working.”

“Miss Prentiss,” Vanessa answers, “I’ll open it for you now.”

“Thank you.”

The gate is almost agonisingly slow as it opens, but she takes the time to try and centre herself, sighing as she briefly checks her reflection in the rearview mirror. She makes sure her lipstick isn’t smudged, smiling softly at herself as she thinks of the gentle kiss Aaron had pressed against her lips before she left his place, and then she sits back in her seat and drives further up the driveway.

By the time she’s sitting in her parent's living room, her anxiety increases, mixed with the usual sense of irritation she had whenever she was here. This place had never been home to her, not really. They’d rarely spent more than a few months here at a time when she was young, moving from country to country based on her mother’s placements, so she’d never had a chance to settle, to feel relaxed here. Ironically, the longest she’d ever been here at one time was the summer between her undergrad and her master's.

The summer she met Aaron.

She’s pulled out of her train of thought as her parents walk into the room, and she stands up, hugging them both as they exchange greetings, and then she sits back down on the couch and they sit on the couch opposite.

“How are you, Emily?” Elizabeth asks as she sits down, “It’s been a while since you called.”

Emily smiles tightly, stopping herself from replying that phones called both ways, that she never called her either. Instead, she clears her throat, and takes some sort of twisted comfort in the fact she’d made out with Aaron more than once where her parents were currently sitting.

“I’m good,” she answers, using the skills they’d taught her when she was young against them, her ability to say so much by saying so little was one of the things they had passed on, one of the ways they’d so often have conversations without really saying anything at all. “I got confirmation I start the academy in January.”

She knew they didn’t approve of her decision to join the FBI and their reactions confirm it, the slight tightening of her mother’s shoulders and the way her father sits up a little straighter telling her all it ever needed to. They thought it was below her and had said as much, claiming that the education they had paid for could offer her so much more than the career she was choosing, but it didn’t deter her.

It was part of the reason she was hesitant to tell them about her and Aaron’s relationship. She knew they’d take it to mean that she was doing this purely because of him, that she was being led by her almost 30-year-old boyfriend to follow in his footsteps, and the thought of it drove her crazy, another reminder that they didn’t know her at all.

When had she ever done something because someone else wanted her to?

“I see,” her father says, clearing his throat as he looks at his daughter, “Is there anything else you need to tell us?”

She stares at them for a moment, her heart skipping a beat in her chest as she licks her lower lip, and she shakes her head, feigning innocence, “What else would there be?”

Her mother sighs and looks over at her father before she looks back at Emily, a flicker of disappointment that she was familiar with and something new, something she couldn’t put a name to.

“Emily,” Elizabeth says, clasping her hands together in her lap to stop herself from picking at her nails, a habit Emily had picked up from her when she was small, “We know about you and Agent Hotchner.”

For a moment, it feels like the air is sucked out of the room. She stares at her parents as she tries to think of what to say, already aware it is too late to deny it. She knows that they hadn’t been particularly subtle over the summer, and it wasn’t entirely a shock to learn that her parents had found out about her relationship with the man they’d hired to co-ordinate security at the house whilst they were away, but she’d wanted to tell them on her terms.

Emily had never been close to either of her parents, and she didn’t have a relationship with them where she shared details of her life when she didn’t need to. But she was serious about Aaron, the 15 months they’d been together now largely in secret some of the happiest of her life, and she knew it was time to come clean.

“Oh,” she says softly, clearing her throat as she bites the inside of her cheek and attempts to read their reactions, “You know?”

“Yes, Emily,” he says, “We know.”

The nerves she’d felt earlier as she walked into the house make themselves known again, making her chest tight and capturing the breath she’d sucked in, holding it in place, as she watches her parents look at each other before they look back at yer, both privy to something she does not yet know about.

___

He’d only popped out to get ice cream.

Aaron knew she’d be upset and irritated when she came home from her parents, she always was, and he realised he was out of any of the sweet food she liked so he’d gone out to get it. He sighs as he steps out of the store and sees that it has started pouring rain since he got there. He tucks the ice cream under his arm and starts to jog towards his building, grateful that he’d only gone to the place a block away. He frowns as he gets closer to his building, his pace increasing when he sees her sitting on the steps, seemingly unaware she is getting soaked to the bone.

“Em?” He asks, coming to a stop in front of her, sitting on the step next to her when she doesn’t react, not caring about the material of his pants sticking to his skin. She jumps slightly as he cups her chin to make her look at him, seemingly only just realising he was there, “What are you doing, sweetheart?” He asks, encouraging her to stand, his hand on her back, “You’ve got a key you could have gone in.”

She nods absentmindedly, rain dripping down the slope of her nose, her dark hair plastered to her skin, “Yeah, sorry.”

His concern only deepens, swirling in his gut as he leads her up the stairs, his hand never leaving her back as he almost drops the ice cream whilst he digs his keys out of his pocket, “Nothing to apologise for sweetheart,” he assures her, kissing the side of her head, “Let’s get you inside.”

She’s silent as they walk to his apartment and he doesn’t push her, worst-case scenarios floating through his mind as he unlocks his front door. He puts the pint of ice cream down on the side table and shrugs off his coat, letting it drop to the floor as he leads her to the couch. He pulls the blanket off the back of it and wraps it around her as he encourages her to sit down.

“Aaron, the couch I’ll ruin-”

“I don’t care about that,” he says, sitting on the edge of the coffee table, his knees on either side of hers as he reaches for her hands, wincing at how cold her skin is, “You’re freezing.”

She chuckles dryly and nods as he covers her hands with his, easily enveloping them as he tries to press warmth into her skin. She’d almost loved his hands, the comfort they gave her. They were one of the first few things she’d noticed about him, how large they were, how they made his cell phone look like nothing more than a child’s toy. She remembers the first time she held his hand, the first time she felt the strength she’d spent weeks imagining shifting under his skin as she led him out of a party her parents were hosting.

She’d kissed him that night, the first of many, the start of a new chapter of her life.

“Yeah, I guess I am,” she says, only now realising how cold she felt, shivering violently under the blanket she’d napped under more than once. She swallows thickly as her eyes meet his, concern and love swirling in his gaze and she blows out a slow breath, “My parents know about us.”

He raises his eyebrows, unable to control his surprise, “Oh,” he says, still rubbing his hands against hers, “I thought you weren’t going to tell them yet.”

He didn’t blame her for not wanting to tell them. He knew their relationship was difficult, that it always had been, and he never wanted to make her feel uncomfortable. He knew what it was like to have the parents you wanted, to not be able to share things with them. In a strange way, he thinks it’s one of the reasons he and Emily worked so well. They understood each other in a way so few people did, their childhoods wildly different yet painted with similar themes.

“I didn’t tell them,” she says, pressing her lips together and shaking her head, choking on a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob, “They already knew.”

They fall into silence and he watches her carefully, how she shrinks back into herself, her face turned to press into the blanket around her shoulders as she breathes in the scent of it, “I’m assuming because of your general demeanour it didn’t go well.”

She laughs and shakes her head, “No, it didn’t go well,” she looks at him, “They…they told me if I didn’t break up with you they’d cut me off. Take away the trust fund.”

“What?” He asks, his grip on her tightening, anger and irritation licking at his insides as he clenches his teeth. It seemed absurd, ludicrous that they’d threaten such a thing to their only child just because she dared to be happy in a way they didn’t understand.

She nods, “They think it’s best if I end up with someone more like me,” she says, shaking her head, “And they live in a world where money is at the centre of everything so…” she shrugs, “I guess that’s how they think they can control me.”

The silence is awkward for a moment as he tries to read her, tries to figure out if her demeanour is because she has to break up with him and doesn’t know how to. He knew exactly how much money was in that trust fund. She’d told him once, casually mentioning the millions of dollars she had to her name and how it paid for her rent, how one day she hoped it would pay for a house she would buy. Something she considered to be full circle, using the money that had meant she hadn’t ever had a home to get one.

“What did you tell them?” He asks carefully, making sure his voice is even and soft. He wouldn’t blame her if she made that choice. Haley had left him for a whole lot less than potentially losing her parents and more money than most people saw in their lives.

“I told them to go fuck themselves,” she says bluntly., her eyes finally meeting him, a desperate laugh escaping her chest as she shakes her head.

He laughs too, her responses shocking him as he shakes his head, “Em-”

“I literally said that to them,” she says, cutting him off, unaware he’d even started to speak, “I told them to go fuck themselves,” she repeats, biting the inside of her cheek to stop herself from smiling, “You should have seen my mother’s face.”

Aaron can’t explain the guilt that washes over him, hot and overwhelming as he looks at her, her hair still stuck to her skin as she sits wide-eyed in front of him, “Sweetheart,” he says carefully, unhooking one of his hands from around hers and cupping her chin, “I’d understand if…”

She feels her heartbreak as he drifts off, the words he hadn’t said hanging in the air around them, heavy and suffocating. She knows he means it, that he’d happily accept her breaking up with him because of her parent's ultimatum, and she shifts forward so she’s closer to him, one of her hands on his cheek.

“I’m not breaking up with you,” she says firmly, the relief on his face palpable, only making her ache more, “And it’s not even about us really, or you,” she says, “They would have done this no matter what, used this as leverage over me for my whole life if I ever did something they didn’t agree with. This way I’m free.”

“To be who you want to be.”

She smiles at how he’s phrased it, how he’s centred her in it and not himself or their relationship, “Yeah,” she says, pressing her lips together as she nods, “I can be who I want to be,” she blows out a shaky breath and rests her forehead against his, “I’ll have to move out of my place. Even if I could find a way to continue to afford it…I don’t want them to know where I live.” There were so many things she hadn’t even thought of yet, so many details she’d have to consider and change now she no longer had contact with them, but a place to live was her main concern, “I don’t know if you’re ready for a roommate-”

“Sweetheart,” he says, cupping the back of her head as he pulls back to look at her, “You practically live here anyway. I was actually trying to figure out how to ask you to move in.”

She raises her eyebrows at him, her eyes shining with tears he knows she’ll wait until they are in bed to shed, the comfort of his embrace and the safety of his bedroom the place where she could finally let go. “Really?”

He smiles at her disbelief, at the way she frowns at him and he nods, “Really. Just ask Dave, I’ve been asking him for advice,” he kisses her cheek and then stands up, encouraging her to do the same, “Come one, let's go get you in the shower and then into bed, I don’t want you getting sick.”

She nods and lets him lead her to the bathroom, her head against his shoulder as they walk together, both of them aware that they had so much more to talk about, but that it could wait.

In the morning, they find the melted pint of ice cream on the side table, and Emily doesn’t think she’s ever loved someone as much as she loves him when he goes to buy her some more.

___

January 1998

Aaron chuckles as Emily crawls under the covers of their bed, sighing loudly as she sits next to him and rests her head on his shoulder.

“Long day?” He asks jokingly, as if they hadn’t spent the whole day together, and he presses a kiss to her forehead

She hums as she raises her eyebrow, “I don’t know how you’ve worked with Gideon and Dave as long as you have.”

He smiles and tucks some of her hair behind her ear, making sure to stroke her cheek as he does so, “They aren’t that bad.”

She’d only recently joined the BAU, a decision that had been delayed by the Section Chief being unsure if she wanted a husband and wife working together on the same team. Ultimately, her track record, and what she’s sure was not a small amount of meddling from Dave, spoke for itself and her transfer from Counterterrorism was approved.

“Whatever you say, honey,” she grumbles. She watches as he clenches his hand in and out of a fist a few times, his brow furrowing as he suppresses a groan of pain. “Is your hand hurting?” She asks, already knowing the answer when he stops flexing his hand, a soft smile on his face that lets her know he hadn’t even realised he’d been doing it.

“A little,” he replies, playing down the ache in his palm like he always had, “It’s always worse when it’s cold.”

He was 13 when it happened.

He’d gotten in between his father and his mother and walked away with what he would later find out were two broken bones in his hand. He hadn’t been taken to the hospital, the injury treated instead by bandages, ice and a guilty smile from his mom as she assured him it would be fine. It was years later when he was in hospital for an unrelated injury, a sprained wrist he’d got during training at the academy, when he found out the bones had been broken all those years ago. The doctor who told him said that the bones hadn’t healed properly, and the persistent pain he’d felt for half his life would be permanent.

Emily knew about it, they had no secrets from each other, and he remembered the mix of sadness and anger in her eyes when he told her. How she’d looked outraged and devastated for the teenage version of him in equal measure. She’d asked if she could help, if there was some way she could make him feel better, and he’d told her massaging it made the ache go away.

She smiles softly at him as she reaches for his right hand and holds it between both of hers, she presses her thumbs in an upward motion on his palm. She makes sure her touch is firm enough to push out the tension but gentle enough that she doesn’t hurt him. She repeats the motion again and again, the ache dissipating as she does. As if she wasn’t only helping with the pain, but with removing his father’s violence and his mother’s indifference from his past, from where it lingered under his skin, and replacing it with her love and affection, two things she always gave him freely and without condition.

It was how they loved each other, how they’d built their life just the two of them.

She hadn’t spoken to her parents since the night they’d given her the ultimatum. She’d removed herself from any circle where they may overlap, no longer wanting anything to do with people who tried to force her into a box she had never truly fit into. She’d found a job in the few months between it happening and her starting at the academy. She worked as a waitress in a diner with bright pink seats and an exuberant owner, serving coffee and all-day breakfast to people who barely looked at her. Aaron would rub her feet when she got home from work and tell her she didn’t have to do it if she didn’t want to, that they’d get by on his salary for a few months if they needed to, but she’d been insistent, desperate to have something to do in the long days when he was at work.

They still went to that diner occasionally. It’s where they’d gone for lunch after they got married at city hall, neither of them wanting a fuss about something that simply felt like the next step for them. They’d left a generous tip when the owner refused to let them pay for their meal and left hand in hand, their hearts and stomachs full and their smiles wide.

She’d never for a second doubted that she’d done the right thing by refusing to give into her parents demands, but the life she’d built with Aaron was worth more to her than any of the money she’d lost.

They had a house together, a mortgage. They had bills and disagreements about the best way to budget, and it was so beautifully ordinary sometimes it made her ache.

“Is it feeling any better?” She asks, still concentrating on massaging his hand.

“My hand always feel better the moment you hold it,” he replies and she shakes her head as she laughs.

“You say the most ridiculous shit,” she says and she raises his hand to her lips to kiss his fingertips.

“And yet you married me anyway.”

She smiles as she looks up at him, “Yeah,” she says softly, kissing him, putting everything she felt for him into it, “I did.”

___

“I am going to kill Jason.”

Aaron clears his throat and raises his eyebrow at his wife, “Sweetheart,” he says, waiting until she stops pacing and looks over at him, her arms tight over her chest, “Maybe stop threatening our friend in front of the doctor?”

She clenches her teeth and looks back and forth between Aaron and the doctor standing next to the gurney he was sitting on, blood splattered from his forehead down his face and onto your shirt.

“Jason is your friend, not mine,” she corrects, “Especially after today.”

It was like it had happened in slow motion as she watched an unsub lash out at him, grabbing Jason’s gun from his holster and hitting Aaron in the forehead as they attempted to restrain him. Aaron had briefly lost consciousness. Every second he was out felt like a lifetime to her, everything else around them disappearing as she desperately tried to wake him up.

It wasn’t even close to the worst injury either of them had been on the receiving end of since they’d joined the FBI, but it didn’t make it any easier. She hated when he was hurt, hated the reminder that so much of her happiness was reliant on him, but she knew that was the price for love.

It was a price she’d happily pay for the rest of her life.

She knew Aaron felt the same way. She’d had her appendix removed shortly after they’d got married, and he’d been a wreck. It made her wonder what he’d be like when they eventually had a baby or two, something they both wanted when the time was right, and the thought of it never failed to make her smile. The image of her usually unflappable husband on edge as she brought their kid into the world something she couldn’t wait to see.

She wanted to build their family, to have even more of her husband to love, but whenever he suggested starting to try she put it off. No matter how much she wanted it, she couldn’t shift the feeling that she’d be like her mother. That the lack of maternal skills were genetic, and it wasn’t in her to be the mother she so desperately wanted to be.

Aaron smiles at his wife and reaches out for her, offering her his hand, “Come here, Em.”

She sighs and walks over, sitting on the edge of the gurney as she sandwiches his hand in between hers, squeezing tightly, “Need me to hold your hand whilst you get your stitches?”

He smiles softly, “Always,” he says, winking at her, “It will be good practice for when we eventually have a kid, anyone that’s half you will inevitably end up in a few scrapes.”

She chokes on a laugh and nods, unable to stop herself from smiling at the thought of their kid. Someone half him and half her with a scraped knee insisting that they were fine. All her anxieties disappear for a moment and she simply lines forward and presses a kiss to his lips.

She hums as she pulls back and squeezes his hand again, “That’s a lot of talk for a man who’s about to have his forehead stitched back together.”

___

June 2003

She relaxes the moment she parks on the driveway.

She wastes no time in getting out of the car, desperate to see her husband and their little girl even though she’d only been out for a few hours. Penelope had convinced her to go out for dinner with her and JJ, claiming it had been far too long since they’d last done so, and she’d agreed at Aaron’s insistence.

Emily smiles as she opens the front door, “Honey, I’m home,” she calls out, surprised when she’s not greeted by either Aaron or Evelyn. The four-year-old would usually run to her, her smile wide as she threw herself into her mother’s arms. She furrows her brows, “Hello?”

“We’re in the living room,” Aaron calls back and she smiles as she starts to walk towards them, looking forward to spending some time with her family.

It was strange to think it had almost been 10 years since she’d last seen her parents, since what she thought would be a normal, awkward dinner with them had turned into the ultimatum that had permanently torn them apart. She was proud of what she’d built from nothing, of the fact her daughter would never doubt that she was loved unconditionally like she once had, and she never looked back.

She smiles as she steps into the living room, her heart swelling in her chest as she stops in the doorway, her eyes fixed on Aaron and Evelyn. Aaron was sitting with their daughter in his lap, she was already dressed in her Spiderman pjyamas and had her hair in neat pigtails. She had Aaron’s hand in between hers and she was rubbing her thumbs up and down his palm, her tongue sticking out as she concentrates on what she was doing.

“What’s all this?” Emily asks as she walks over, sitting down on the couch next to them. She stamps a kiss against Evelyn’s forehead and then Aaron’s lips, “Hi.”

“Hi,” he replies, kissing her again, “Evie here is helping with my hand.”

She has to press her lips together to stop her smile from getting too wide, sure her cheeks would ache with it. She cups her daughter’s cheek and smiles at her as she looks up, “You’re helping Daddy, huh?”

Evelyn nods enthusiastically, “Just like you do.”

When she’d first found out they were having a girl she’d panicked, her fear that she would turn into her own mother seemingly coming to life. Aaron had talked her down just like he always did, comforting her with his love and patience like he had learnt to do that very first summer together. Every fear had been unfounded just like he said it would be, the moment she’d first held Evelyn she knew she’d do anything to protect her, to make sure she knew she was loved.

She’d never understood her mother less than when she’d become one herself. She thought about her more in the last few years than she had in the first few they’d been estranged. She wondered what her mother had felt when she watched her take her first steps, or the first time she said Mama. She wondered if she’d felt as nervous about her starting school as Emily felt about Evelyn starting in the fall.

It was a constant reminder of what she never had, and what she never would, but what she’d always make sure her little girl would never doubt.

“That’s so sweet, baby,” Emily says, kissing Evelyn’s forehead, “Why don’t you go brush your teeth and then Daddy and I will come up and read you a story in a little bit?”

She nods enthusiastically and jumps off the couch, running out of the room quickly, her pigtails flapping behind her. Emily waits until she’s out of earshot and she reaches for her husband's hand, linking their fingers together.

“Did she help with the pain?”

“Not at all, her hands are way too small,” he says, smiling at her, “But she offered and it was so cute I couldn’t say no.”

She chuckles and stamps a kiss against his lips, “Once she’s asleep I’ll do it for you.”

He hums and kisses her again, “Thanks, sweetheart,” he says, “Once it’s all better, I’ll thank you properly.”

She bites her lower lip and winks at him, “You’ve got a deal.”

-x-

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dunedragon · 3 months

Note

The part of me that wants those boys happy fears the what if concept and understands your response. The part of me that loves angst is like OH BOY I LOVE PAIN.

Anyway... netcafe?? ooooooooh

I love all kinds of horror and dread and angst, I eat it up! But I realized this one went a bit too hard for the type of fandom this is so it's just sat unfinished in my drafts.

The netcafe one is plotted now and hopefully I can drum up the motivation to write it, esp since I really want to explore a Netto POV chapter for RUTH :D I think it would be fun to write once I get over the hurdle of starting.

However, here have the incomplete and completely unedited chapter "What Could Have Been" under the cut:

“Saito? Iggy? Hello? Anyone there?” Saito groaned, fingers digging into the grass and dirt beneath him as he woke. The air was thick with the smell of pine and dirt, and he slowly sat up as the wind rushed through his hair. Wind. Dirt. Trees. He looked at his hands. Flesh and bone. His clothes were damp as the morning sun filtered through the trees. He pressed his fingers to his face as his heart slowly descended with horror. The chip flip… “Saito? Is that you?” His PET sat in the grass beside him. He snatched it up, and was greeted to the soft smile of his brother. “You did it.” He said, tears welling in his eyes. “It’s your turn now. Go have fun, okay? For me? I’ll support you from h-here.” Saito’s vision blurred. “N-no this isn’t— I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Netto— Mega, burst into tears and Saito clutched the PET to his chest. Hidden in the secluded embrace of the morning fog, they cried.

————

“Saito! Wake up, you’re going to be late!” Saito woke with a jolt, pieces of paper falling from his face as he looked around. He’d fallen asleep at his desk again in the cramped dorm room of his university. He looked down at the fallen sheets of his assignment as they mixed in with the diagrams of his personal projects. Outside the window, the morning sun filtered through the fog and trees, just like it had that day on Torishima 6 years ago. Saito leaned back in his chair and let out a yawn as he stretched. “Mngh, What time is it?” “8:20.” Mega replied. “Class starts in ten minutes.” Shit. He leapt from his chair and gathered the scattered pieces of his project and shoved them into his backpack. “Oh jeez, oh jeez!” “I woulda woken you earlier,” Mega (said), “but you were up till 3 in the morning working on your assignment, I thought you’d like the extra 30 minutes to sleep in!” “Extra—?! Mega it takes me ten minutes just to walk across campus!” “Walk quickly.” Saito let out a groan, making sure Mega could hear his disapproval as he threw on a fresh shirt from the closet. Good enough. He snatched the PET off his desk and rushed out the door.

——

Two hours later, Saito’s stomach clawed for attention. He had forgotten to grab something to eat on his way out. As class was released, he dropped his Petbook into his backpack and weighed his options. “Hm… do you think I should go to The Lounge or head back to the dorm?” He asked out loud. “Probably your dorm.” Mega replied. “You forgot to take your medication and left one of the pages of your assignment on your desk. Though if you’re hoping to finish off that sandwich, I’m pretty sure Kodek ate it.” Saito balked. “What!? I told him to stop eating my food! Did you tell him I was saving that?” Mega shrugged. “Would it matter? He hates me.” Saito let out a long groan and drop his head onto his desk. “Hey, Dad offered to help you get your own apartment nearby, but nooo!” Mega drawled. “You wanted to “live life to the fullest” and get the “college experience!" It’s okay to take shortcuts, you know!” “I didn’t think it would involve… that.” Saito mumbled. “You mean the worst roommate ever?” Mega scoffed. Saito raised his head off the desk with an awkward shrug. “I wouldn’t say that… he’s just…” “—Terrible.” “Mega!” “What? You aren’t going to say it, so I will!” “We’ve talked about this!” Saito pleaded. “Please, just try to get along with him!” “Never.” With the class slowly filtering out the doors, their conversation was becoming more audible by the second. Saito dropped it, grabbing his backpack off the floor, and made his way to the exit. Once outside into the open air, he yawned once again. His sleep addled brain couldn’t hold a cohesive thought together, and he found himself once again missing the old hum of data and rigid routines. “Let’s head back and I’ll order you a pizza," Mega chirped once clear of the crowd. "Once you’ve eaten and grabbed your papers you need to head back to administration to sign off on next year’s Net Navi registration. After that, you should have enough time to —Oh, take a left up here.” Saito took the abrupt turn between two buildings. “That’s not the way to the dorms.” “I know, I decided we’re going to The Lounge for food instead.” Saito yawned. “Mm, okay.” “Netto! Wait!” Saito turned around to find a shorter girl with a blonde ponytail racing down the alley toward him. “Who is that?” Mega whispered. “Midee Nakamura, from my mechanical engineering class?” He whispered back. “The one you’re always playing games in?” “What can I say, it’s my free period.” Mega retorted. They both fell into silence as Midee caught up and paused to catch her breath. “Phew! Sorry, I’ve been trying to track you down all day.” “Me? Why?” Saito asked.

#ruth post #mmbn

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dreemurr-skelememer · 11 months

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Oh my god I’m so you when it comes to Dreamtale, because I left UTMV fandom for like 2 years now but every once in a while I have to come back to rant about canon Dream.

I cannot wrap my head around the concept of Dream being “purest angel boy” who can’t hate or get angry. Dream is unable to hate is so frustrating and it makes literally no sense. Dream before the incident wouldn’t hate, sure, he was a child. Dream after the apple incident can’t hate because of his apple soul, but then again he’s an empath. Empathy is not just an emotional reaction, it links to logic and rational thinking too. Saying Dream can’t hate just implies that Dream wouldn’t have ANY growth with his emotional intelligence. He supposed to be the guardian of feeling?? Hello?? I don’t understand why the creator wants to wrap Dream in a goodness bubble when feeling is a complex field.

And speaking of Dream’s goodness, I’m still salty about how the creator refused to give information about what happened if Dream ate a black apple because “Dream would never do that”. First of all, that wasn’t what we asked for, we just want to know what kind of reaction would happen if a Positive feeling guardian eat a black apple, not everything needs to be surrounded by canon Dream, just give us a hypothetical situation, maybe another Dream, another guardian. Secondly, it doesn’t make sense whatsoever, especially regarding that post about if put Dream into Nightmare’s shoes and getting bullied for 6 whole years, he would take it much longer then Nightmare before breakdown and even if he did, he wouldn’t eat the apple. Let’s give Joku the benefit of a doubt that Dream just lived for 6 years but mentally 14 or something, it’s established IN THE COMIC that Nim gave little to no information about how the tree and apples work, so how did Dream, without any knowledge of how his power work or properly handle his trauma for 6 years, can make better decisions than Nightmare under immense pressure without mistakes. Nightmare was bullied, traumatized, tortured, isolated, threatened to be killed, manipulated, he just wanted to live! I couldn’t think of ANY reason Dream wouldn’t do the same except he’s the favorite golden child who can do no wrong.

Of course that doesn’t mean he should be an asshole or stop being good, there’re a lot of characters that are pure but isn’t perfect, Dream just needs to stop being someone whose only flaw is being too selfless for this world. Also wasn’t there one post saying Dream may be a sunshine character but he probably had the most tragic story in the whole fandom. I laughed because that’s not even close, what fandom are they talking about? Because last time I checked, UT Asgore also went through a depressing life after lost everything. And also that just completely wipes off Nightmare’s existence. Dream used to be one of my favorite characters in UTMV because he had so much potential, but the creator instead choose to sacrifice all of that potential to go to war against fan.

so based anon. you've said everything that needed to be said about canon dream

#Anonymous

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everlastlady · 11 months

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Ok so I just had a idea what about a alastor x gn!reader where the reader is vaggies sibling?🤔

This shall be interesting because Imagine like how Vaggie is with Charlie. She is protective and I mean very protective of you so when she sees you and Alastor hanging out. She is just like " Oh, no no no. " So I hope you enjoy this cute story

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☕Author's Note: Hello! My little imps, demonic sinners, & powerful overlords. Welcome back! To another story and another request for Alastor X Vaggie's Sibling Reader. I hope you enjoy this one, I was going to post this yesterday but I too tired and went to bed but here is the story, if you enjoyed don't forget to comment, like, or reblog.

☕Word Count: 2452

☕Fandom: Hazbin Hotel.

☕Story Contains: Lovey Dovey Alastor.

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Alastor X (Vaggie's Sibling) Reader: Judgement & Smiles.

You started helping out at the hotel after Alastor showed up. You would much your sister didn’t like or trusted the radio demon and you wanted to keep her calm. Unlike your sister who was hot-headed and ready to fight. You on the other hand collected person. But you wouldn’t hesitate to kick some ass. You didn’t talk much or showed much emotion. But just like your sister and her girlfriend, you had hope for this hotel. You managed the front desk and would check in guests, as you were doing that Alastor walked up next to you and smiled. “ Remember, (Y/N) you need to smile for our guest! “ Alastor would chuckle and stare at you. You would stare at him and shake your head going back to work. “ I see that the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. “ He said watching you work. “ I don’t like apples. “ You simply said and didn’t look at Alastor. The radio demon grinned; he was determined to make you smile. “ Then what fruits do you like? “ He asked. Leaning against the desk with his arms crossed over his chest. “ I like (favorite fruit ). “ You said. Alastor chuckled and snapped his fingers making a bowl of your favorite fruit appear and there it was that smile. But Alastor didn’t expect your smile to be so beautiful that he wanted to trace his fingers across your lips. He shook his head and dismissed those thoughts. “ See look at you smiling. You should smile more often. “ He said and picked up a piece of the fruit and ate it. “ Thank you, Alastor. “ You said and began eating the fruit. Alastor spent the rest of the afternoon talking with you and telling you stories of his chaos. You enjoyed listening and respected that he would stop when you had to work. When you were ready to rest and let the next person take over. Alastor offered you a walk in the garden which you accepted. The two of you strolled through the garden with Alastor while you told Alastor about your life from when you were alive.

“ You lived an interesting life. Makes me wonder if you should have gone to heaven. “ Alastor smiled at you and this wasn’t his dark smile but a sweet one. You listened to Alastor’s jokes; he did this to make you laugh and smile because just hearing your laughter and seeing your smile made him happy. These warm feelings made Alastor feel something he thought he would never feel something he dismissed long for murder and chaos. But he was starting to see that you are a demon he was genuinely fond of, Alastor walked you to your car and Vaggie saw this. When Alastor walked off after telling you goodbye. Vaggie walked up and smiled. “ Hey, I saw that weirdo walking you to your car, is everything alright? I didn’t see you all day after, sorry about that Charlie and I had to attend a meeting to get some ads going for the hotel. “ She said inspecting you and making sure you were okay, you chuckled and reassured your big sister that you were fine. “ Me and him went for a walk in the garden. He isn’t not as bad as he makes himself to be. “ You said. Vaggie sighed. “ (Y/N), you know not to trust him. I told Charlie this many times before just like I have told you. He is nothing but a sadistic and narcissistic overlord. “ She said, giving you a serious look. You sighed and nodded. “ I know but I’m not a little kid anymore, I’ll be fine, I promise. “ You hugged Vaggie and she hugged back. You said your goodbyes to your older sister and drove home. You stepped inside your apartment and felt your phone buzz, you hoped it wasn’t Angel trying to ask you to go out drinking right now with him and Cherri. You sat down and looked at your phone, to your surprise it wasn’t Angel but Alastor, he has a cellphone? And more importantly, how did he get your number?

Alastor: (Y/N), I had such a fun time. That I was wondering if you would like to join me tomorrow night to see a movie. And before you ask. I have always had a phone, I’m just not glued to like how the rest of society is and for your other question, Charlie gave me your number, how sweet of her.

So that’s how he got your number, you’ll have to talk with Charlie later, you stared at the message and leaned back on the couch. It’s been a while since you've seen a movie. And you did want to get out more instead of working then going home. But you were surprised that Alastor wanted to spend some time with you. What would your sister Vaggie say? You sighed knowing she would lecture you about going to see a movie with him or hanging around him. But maybe this would be fun and you weren’t naive; you knew Alastor’s tricks and this didn’t feel like a trick.

(Y/N): I would love to go to the movies with you. What time should I be ready?

Alastor: 7 pm sharp! And I’ll be there to pick you up, I was also thinking we could get dinner first before heading to the movies, is that something you are also up for?

(Y/N): Sure, dinner sounds nice and I’ll be ready at 7 pm.

Alastor: Great! I’ll see you tomorrow sleep well (Y/N)

You stared at your screen smiling, sitting there smiling and looking at your screen; your heart fluttered a bit and you shook your head. “ This isn’t a date and hopefully not some trap. “ You sighed tossing your phone aside. You closed your eyes for a second and thought. Once you were glad to get out of the house but two you were getting out of the house because of Alastor, and finally three what if your sister finds out? You already told her that you could handle yourself. But Alastor doesn’t seem like he had anything weird planned. But just in case you will keep your guard up and if your sister calls you. Then you’ll just say you are busy at the moment. You hate to lie to your sister but you also didn’t want her to be overprotective she has always been like that since you both were children. She was a sister and mom wrapped into one body. Which you didn’t mind because you knew she cared about you and had your back. You got up off the couch stretching. Ready to make yourself and meal then shower, maybe watch some TV then hit the hay. So you made yourself some dinner and sat down to eat. After finishing up and cleaning up your mess from cooking. You have a shower, standing there in the shower letting the warm water hit your back. You wonder why Alastor wanted to take you out. Why was the radio demon interested in you? Being around him before he only seemed to care about himself, messing with others, and hellbent on chaos. You bite your sigh, you reached out turn off the water, and pulled back the curtain. You step out and dried yourself off, then change into your pajamas. You placed your phone on your charge and packed your lunch for tomorrow. You lay in bed watching TV and eventually fell asleep. The next morning you were up and making breakfast. You heard a knock at your door and walked over, looking through the eyehole you saw it was Alastor.

You stepped back confused. You open the door and stared up at Alastor. “ What are you doing here? “ You asked. Alastor stepped inside your home. “ I wanted to escort you to work today, what smells wonderful? “ Alastor said walking into your kitchen. “ I was making breakfast. “ You said, watching Alastor. “ I’m not going to ask how you found my apartment. “ You walked over to the table and looked at Alastor. “ Are you hungry? “ You asked. “ Just a black coffee. “ Alastor said and sat down. You nodded, walked to the counter, and made Alastor a black coffee. “ Here you go. “ You handed Alastor the coffee and he thanked you for the dark brew he loved so much. “ I thought for the movie tonight we could see Murder’s Tango. A wonderful film with lots of mystery and blood a little romance if you like that stuff. “ He said with a smirk while drinking his coffee. You smiled and nodded. “ Sounds good. “ After breakfast you let Alastor ride to work with you. You parked your car and before you could get out. Alastor quickly got out and walked over, and opened your car door. He offered his hand and you smiled grabbing it. “ Wow, what a gentleman. “ You said rolling your eyes playfully. “ My mother raised me to be well. “ He said chuckling. “ Not too well or else you wouldn’t be in Hell. “ You said. “ Oh, she did what she could but I just enjoy the screams that I heard while listening to music, hacking away at people with my axe. I really miss that axe; it was good at getting through wood. “ He said walking inside the hotel with you. “ And bones too. “ You said smirking at Alastor. “ Now you're getting it! “ Alastor laughed. “ Now I’ll see you at 7 pm, you have a good day (Y/N) “ Alastor smiled and walked off.

You spent your day at the desk on break you did play a game of cards with Husk and went to go get lunch with Angel Dust. You didn’t tell the two about what you and Alastor had planned because one Husk wouldn’t care and two Angel had a big mouth. So you didn’t want to tell Vaggie and then get lectured by Vaggie. After work, you drove home took a nap, and then got dressed for this fun hangout with Alastor. You went for a stylish outfit that fits you quite well. You smiled in the mirror and gave a twirl. You heard a knock at the door and walked over already knowing who it was. You opened the door to see Alastor wearing a dark maroon suit, he smiled at you while looking you up and down. “ Don’t you lovely, ready to go? “ He offered his hand. You smiled and stepped outside, you turned around locked your apartment door and grabbed Alastor’s hand, and walked with him. The two of you chatted about work and things you did outside of work. You found out Alastor played piano and he promised to play for you one day.

Alastor took you to a nice restaurant where the two of you ate. Alastor told you jokes almost making you spit out your drink. He seemed to be loving your reaction, and he would listen to you talk. You couldn’t see it but Alastor was deeply paying attention to you, his smile was for you and you only that when the waiter tried to ask you both how your meal was Alastor snapped his fingers zipping the waiter’s mouth. After dinner, you and Alastor walked to the theater. Standing in line and waiting to get your tickets. “ If you want you can get a snack for the movie. “ Alastor said while walking with you. You did want a sweet treat so you asked Alastor if he wanted some candy. “ No, thank you, my dear, I’m not a fan of sweet things. “ He said. “ Let me go use the bathroom real quick. “ Alastor said, he walked away leaving you there in the snack line; you brought your favorite candy and a small drink. You felt someone grab your shoulder and turn you around. This is when you dropped your drink and candy and saw your sister Vaggie.

“ V-Vaggie, what are you doing here? “ You said leaning down to clean up to mess. She kneeled down to help you. “ Charlie wanted to see her favorite movie, but I guess Alastor took you to see his favorite movie as well. “ She said looking at you. “ Vaggie, I can explain. “ You said. But your sister grabbed your hand pulled you around the corner and gave you a look of disappointment. “ (Y/N) please tell me this isn’t a date and tell me that you don’t like him. I told you how dangerous he is. That he could be using you, playing some type of game. An- “ But your sister was cut off by that static voice. “ I would never use them, for I love them. “ You and Vaggie turned around to see Charlie smiling and Alastor with a serious look, he walked up and stared at Vaggie. “ You may not trust me and you have all the right not to but. I mean when I say I love them, I love the way they smile, laugh, and talk. I could listen to them talk for hours and never grow bored. They make me feel alive and they make me happy. I want to make them happy. “ Alastor said, smiling at you. “ I love you (Y/N) that is why I asked you to join me for dinner and a movie. “ He held your hands and kissed them both. You grinned and blushed. “ Alastor, I love you too. “ Alastor gave you a kiss and you kissed back, the two of you pulled away and you looked at your sister Vaggie with a frown. “ I understand if you don’t approve. “ You said. But Vaggie sighed and walked up hugging. “ No, if he is serious and he makes you happy, then I respect your choice to date him. I’m happy that you found happiness, your not that little kid, I grew up with your strong just like me. “ The two of you smiled and hugged each other while Alastor and Charlie smiled at each other. “ But if he hurts you, I will beat his ass. “ She said laughing but then glared at Alastor who smiled. She smiled back at the radio demon. “ The movie is about to start shall we go my partner, my darling? “ Alastor said offering his hand. You smiled and held Alastor’s hand and walked with him into the theater. Vaggie smiled watching you two, Charlie placed her hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder. “ Its good to see them both happy. “ Charlie said. Vaggie chuckled and smiled remembering the sweet moments you both shared when you were alive and that they could continue in hell especially with you happy. “ Yeah it is. “ Vaggie smiled and walked away with Charlie to go see their movie. “ I’m glad your happy (Y/N). “

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tea-t1me · 1 year

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🥐: "Oui Oui..." (depressed in french)

Hello Jack Horner fandom I uh found another concept art that wasn't not *explicitly* for Jack this and however I ated him and made him a Jack regardless (cause I said so ❤)

His name is Jacque and he is my depressed horse girl I am so normal about him. So fucking normal. He's a chronic insomniac who bakes custard at 3am as he has lost all control of his life.

#puss in boots #puss and boots 2 #puss and boots the last wish #big jack horner #jack horner #concept jack #jacksona #jacque #french people arent real #brunch art

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mollymauktealeef · 9 months

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Self Rec Tag Game

tagged by the wonderful @hello-eeveev!!

Rules: Share five of your own fanworks (fic, art, etc.). Then, tag five more people to share the things they've made.

1.something you absolutely adore

a winter's crest detour [mature, caleb/essek]

the idea for this fic actually went through two different fandoms before coming to light in critical role. i'd signed up for a christmas hallmark movie prompt thing and sadly didn't get my pick, so i left cause i got unreasonably attached to this one idea and so it came with me as i moved into another fandom where about 10k got written before the muse abandoned me until shadowgast ate my life and here we are. its probably the most self indulgent fic i've ever written, purely created for moi and i love it, bonus other people seemed to like it too! woo!

2. something that was challenging to create

the edge of the blade [teen, caleb/essek]

a full YEAR in the making, this is my biggest, longest, most EVERYTHING fic. i love it, i had so much fun writing it but boy was it hard work. the time, the energy that went into this. i really challenged myself to dig deep for essek's emotions and insecurities and i'm really proud of how it turned out. i definitely improved as a writer because of the challenges this fic liked to throw at me

3. something that makes you laugh (or smile, if that fits more comfortably)

long may they reign chapter 3 [gen, caleb/essek]

not gonna lie this is one of my comfort fics that i re-read of my things that always makes me feel better. i love the dynamic of being so comfortable and in love that the simplest acts of affection become automatic and the realisation of those acts can lead to a deeper sense and understanding of that love. i'm a sucker for the old married couple troupe.

4. something that surprised you (in how it turned out, how much other people liked it, etc.)

keep me warm [explicit, caleb/essek]

listen i am not a smut writer, it is not one of my strengths, it's very difficult for me and even the smallest scene requires days/weeks/months of writing cause i just struggle with it so damn much, (maybe she's (gnc) born with it, maybe its maybelline the aroace of it all). the idea for this fic just grabbed me by the throat and wouldn't let go so i put word to document and it actually came out alright, i was pleasantly surprised that i actually managed to put what was in my head into the fic in a very good way so very proud of myself for it

5. something you want other people to see

act i. the interloper [gen, caleb/essek]

ok ok ok i know i haven't finished parts 2 and 3 yet, YET! but i love how this series is shaping up even though it has grown beyond the teeny tiny wee fun little three part fluff ball it was meant to be into something so big and with feelings, think fluff ball the size of one of those stupidly big plastic tourist attractions they've got out in america. i love looking into old courting practices and seeing what would fit and connect with the culture of the drow and just being able to explore different aspects of their relationship and the important moments to them as well. part three especially has me a little teary cause its gonna be so gosh darn sweet so yeah, stay tuned i am writing it, its just bigger than originally designed lol

tag you're it: @aithilin, @mollymawkwrites, @ruvigapo, @mardyart, @glossolali mwah! show off your goods and wares darlings!!

#tag games #tag you're it #critical role #shadowgast

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lady-myrcella · 2 months

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Hello everyone! I’ve been a lurker of the Dragon Age fandom for years now and I've decided that perhaps I should try and give back. Here is a quick fic I wrote about my Surana and Alistair after the Connor quest.

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After a day of rest at Redcliffe Castle at the behest of Bann Teagan, Neria and her party set off for Denerim.

The rest was a welcome lull after the events of the prior days: the siege of Redcliffe by walking corpses, Lady Isolde sacrificing her life for that of her sons, her childhood friend Jowan collaborating with Teyrn Loghain and poisoning Arl Eamon, and, of course, the revelation that Alistair was the bastard son of King Maric.

It was all taking a toll on her and she needed time to be alone with her thoughts.

While her team recuperated at the castle in their own unique ways, Neria couldn't help but sense a restless energy emanating from Alistair. Despite allowing herself a moment of solitude for the first time since the Battle of Ostagar, she felt his restlessness tugging at her consciousness during their fleeting interactions, and it vexed her. One day of rest would hardly endanger their mission to save Arl Eamon. His condition remained stable, and their party required a well-deserved break.

The feelings did not cease even now as they traveled. She felt Alistair’s eyes on the back of her head as they walked. She felt his intensity up until they set up camp for the night.

----

After the evening meal was finished, and the camp duties divided up and completed, the party conversed around the campfire for a brief moment before splitting off for the evening.

Morrigan secluded herself by her fire, busying herself with the brewing of health potions to replenish their dwindling supplies. Sten, his countenance solemn and brooding as ever, honed his sword. Alistair sat a short distance away by his tent, deliberately faced away from the warmth of the fire, allowing the flickering light to illuminate the pages of a tome that absorbed his attention. Leliana remained close to Neria, her fingers softly plucking at the strings of her lute. Neria noticed that Leliana had reconsidered Morrigan's earlier suggestion of composing a ballad to immortalize the events that had transpired in Redcliffe.

As Neria sat by the campfire, a chill wind swept through the camp, causing her cloak to flutter and tug at her frame. Kane, her Mabari, nestled his head by her feet offering some comfort. She obliged him with a gentle scratch behind his ears.

Her thoughts swirled with the memories of Redcliffe. She felt deep sadness over what she allowed to be done to Lady Isolde but there was little choice. The blood magic ritual was a terrible but available alternative to killing an innocent child.

Interestingly, what was distracting her the most was Alistair's revelation of his true heritage. Alistair and her had become comfortably close since Ostagar, maybe too close. She relied on his company and playful banter to get her through the difficulties of their travels. He was quickly becoming Neria’s confidant and dearest friend, perhaps the only true friend she has ever known. The bond they built battling alongside each other strengthened with each passing day. Yet, she couldn't help but feel a sinking feeling in her gut that Alistair's blood would tear them apart.

And now he was displeased with her, though she could not figure out why. Since setting up camp Alistair’s mood turned introspective. He barely looked at her while they ate supper and immediately retired to sit by himself as soon as he had the chance.

Neria understood now that her initial suspicion was not correct. It was not their delayed departure in search of the Urn of Sacred Ashes that had upset him. Perhaps, she thought, it was her own reaction upon learning of his secret parentage that had caused this shift in mood. She didn't react kindly to this important piece of information being concealed to her, especially since Loghain most likely knew of it himself, but she didn't blame him after he explained his reasoning and accepted his apology.

His current dismissal of her made her feel invisible for the first time since her early days in the Circle.

Leliana began to hum a soft tune that took her out of her thoughts. Neria realized she needed to be alone and clear her mind. She stood and eyed a dirty log at the edge of camp to sit on. Kane whined, reading her mind. What an intelligent dog.

“It's alright Kane, you can stay warm here.”

A grumble of pity followed and Kane thumped his large head back onto the ground near the fire.

Neria wandered off. It certainly was cold sitting so far away from the campfire.

She thought, not for the first time, to make her own fire away from the others like Morrigan. And again she thought against it.

'A leader is someone who has the capacity and the will to rally people to a common purpose, and the ability to inspire confidence,' was something First Enchanter Irving once told her, 'a person who gains the trust and loyalty of their followers by working alongside them.'

Making such a public display of sitting off in a corner like Morrigan, away from her companions would not inspire confidence or loyalty. She needed to be present to hold her little group together. She wished the Circle trained her better for something like this. The Circle had taught her little about the intricacies of interpersonal skills, save for First Enchanter Irving's wise quips and by observing the covert social games he played to ensure that Kinloch Hold ran smoothly.

Irving was another sore spot in her chest. She couldn't deny it any longer—Irving had orchestrated her recruitment into the Grey Wardens, knowing full well that she would assist Jowan in his escape. The Templars didn't want any more mages outside of the Circle, and this was a way to pressure them into allowing one more to help stop the Blight.

Neria put her cloak’s hood up and closed her eyelids, focusing on an invisible spot between her eyes and began a meditation practice that had been instilled into her by one of her teachers in the Circle. It was taught for moments precisely like these—as a respite from the torment of incessant thinking, which only brought forth pain and uncertainty. She could not afford to slip into a state of mind detrimental to her stopping the Blight.

Just as she began to lose herself in the depths of her inner stillness, a voice startled her out of her concentration.

“I want to talk about what happened. At Redcliffe.”

Neria looked up, straining her eyes in the dimly lit night to discern Alistair's features in the darkness.

“What's on your mind, Alistair?”

"You allowed Lady Isolde to sacrifice herself? Through blood magic?!" Alistair snapped. His voice trembled, disbelief seeping through every syllable. "How in the Maker's name could you possibly make such a decision?!"

Neria sat in stunned silence at Alistair's outburst. She had never seen him so furious, had never seen such anger in his eyes. A storm of emotions swelled in her chest and washed over her in waves—shock, fear, sorrow, and finally anger. Did he truly believe her to be heartless? Had he really spent the past two days nursing this conviction, believing that she just callously chose to sacrifice Isolde? Could he not comprehend the immense pressure she had been under, considering all they had been through?

Unable to remain silent, her pride surged forth. "And what alternatives did we have?" she retorted, her voice laced with annoyance. "Should we have condemned an innocent child to death instead? Is that what you propose?"

"We could have sought aid from the Circle of Magi! We should have exhausted every other option before resorting to blood magic —that much is clear!"

"We’re Grey Wardens, Alistair! It’s our duty to use any means necessary to stop the Blight, even if it involves blood magic. Leaving Redcliffe and going to the Circle would have jeopardized the lives of every citizen of Redcliffe. You know that!”

In the tense silence that followed, Alistair's expression wavered. His voice lowered as he continued. "This is the Arl's wife we're discussing," he noted, the words hanging in the cold night air. "What do you think he'll say when we revive him? I simply can't comprehend how you could make that decision... I... I owe the Arl more than this."

Neria’s chest tightened as Alistair's words echoed through her head. She glanced at the campfire in the distance, its embers casting fleeting flickers of light into the dark sky. She internally berated herself. With Alistair’s last remark, she understood now— the reason behind Alistair’s strange behavior since Redcliffe, his outburst. She recalled fragments of tales Alistair had shared about his childhood, his relationship with Arl Eamon.

Alistair was abandoned by Eamon at a Chantry for Templar education at the age of ten. He lashed out at Eamon back then, refusing to speak with him during the Arl's infrequent visits. Eventually, Eamon had stopped coming altogether.

It was clear that Alistair still harbored guilt and shame over his outburst towards Eamon when he was a child. Alistair, the lonely boy told all his life he was an inconvenience, still criticized himself over his natural and justified response to being sent away.

Their return to Redcliffe had not merely resurfaced his old wounds; with Isolde's death, it had made them bleed anew.

The fight went out of Neria as quickly as it came. She could forget her pride if only towards a man so amiable as Alistair. Drawing in a deep breath, she readied herself to respond. Her mind raced to figure out what to say.

"Alistair, I... I had no choice in becoming a Grey Warden," Neria began delicately, "To be fair, it was either joining the Wardens or facing the consequences the Templars had in store for me after aiding in Jowan's escape. I will forever be grateful that Duncan was there and willing to conscript me, saving me from my mistakes. I may never understand what he saw in me, but... I will forever be grateful."

I sound so foolish, Neria thought. She sensed Alistair's confusion, his uncertainty at her sudden change in tone and direction. She averted her gaze, noticing her fingers nervously fidgeting with the hem of her cloak. She interlaced her hands in her lap and continued, her eyes fixed upon the ground.

“What I mean to say is that I did not choose to be a Grey Warden, but I will do my best. I did not want to make the decision on whether to sacrifice Isolde, but at that moment, I saw no other viable option."

Memories of Redcliffe clawed their way back into Neria's consciousness: the looming stone walls of the castle’s audience chamber, blood coursing from flesh to stone, absorbed by an ornately woven carpet. She could feel her emotions tightening her throat as she continued.

"Lady Isolde's sacrifice weighs heavily upon my heart, and I understand your anger regarding my decision, I do. Yet, in that moment, you have to understand, I had to weigh the lives of an entire village against the life of a single woman."

As she paused, Neria felt tears welling at the corners of her eyes. Embarrassed, she brushed them away, hoping they went unnoticed. She knew Alistair was looking at her now, truly looking at her. He was smart enough to see through her words, to understand that she was not only trying to convince him but also herself.

"It's difficult to accept, I know, but as Grey Wardens, we will forever be confronted with impossible decisions—decisions which I now am coming to understand define our order. That is the burden we must bear it seems."

By the time she looked up again, Alistair's anger had faded away, giving way to a weariness mirroring her own. He sighed, shoulders slumping in defeat.

"I understand, Neria. It's just... witnessing Isolde willingly offer herself in that ritual, and knowing our part in it…"

Alistair looked at her, his eyes searching.

"Maybe you’re right. Maybe it's just that, I find myself looking for a clear path, a definitive right and wrong. But the world isn't that simple, is it?” he admitted. "Still… I don't want to lose myself amidst all of this. I refuse to become like Loghain or, well, anyone who willingly resorts to blood magic."

A brief pause lingered as Alistair studied Neria. His tone softened, and a faint trace of a self-deprecating smile played on his lips.

"Perhaps I shouldn't be so quick to question your decisions," he conceded. "It's easy to judge when you're not the one making the choices... and I've let you bear that burden alone, haven't I? I apologize for pestering you about it. You did what you had to do. Let's put this conversation to rest before I make a bigger fool of myself and put my foot in my mouth even more."

With those words, Alistair bowed and murmured a quick goodnight before walking toward the crackling flames of the campfire, leaving Neria to the company of her thoughts. The wind, a gentle whisper, swirled around her, and teased the edges of her cloak.

-----

As dusk fell on the following day and the customary chaos of establishing camp subsided, in the quiet between travel and sleep, Alistair extended to Neria a single rose.

“Do you know what this is?”

#alistair theirin #alistair dragon age #dragon age surana #warden surana #dao #dragon age origins #dragon age fanfiction #alistair x warden #alistair x surana #alistair x female warden #dragon age alistair

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cravingsfromatwistedone · 2 months

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[ WORK AND LIFE UPDATE ] HELLO DARLINGS! I KNOW IT'S BEEN A LONG, LONG TIME SINCE I'VE LAST POSTED. IN THIS POST, I'LL BE TALKING THROUGH EVERYTHING THAT HAD HAPPENED DURING MY ABSENCE, INCLUDING SOME THINGS THAT HAVE BEEN LINGERING ON MY MIND IN THIS POST, I'LL BE TALKING ABOUT:

CURRENT STATUS OF AUTHOR AND WORKS

WHAT I'LL BE DOING WITH THE BLOG

REMOVAL/WITHDRAWAL OF CERTAIN FANDOMS

CONCERNS FOR REQUESTS

POSTING SCHEDULE FOR POST

CURRENT STATUS OF AUTHOR AND WORKS

THE REASON I'VE BEEN SO RADIO SILENT IS MAINLY SCHOOL AND FAMILY STUFF. TWO YEARS AGO, I WAS BUSY TAKING CARE OF MY SISTER'S KIDS (FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR SO TO SAY) AND JUST LAST YEAR, I ENROLLED FOR FOUNDATION (AND I'M NEARLY DONE WITH MY SECOND SEMESTER, YAHOO!!) I COULDN'T REALLY INDULGE MYSELF IN WRITING (OR DRAWING) ANYTHING BECAUSE I WAS HAVING MASSIVE WRITING BURNOUT FROM HAVING TO CHURN OUT SO MANY WORKS IN THAT YEAR (THE YEAR OF 2022 WAS A WILD ONE, NO JOKE-) THAT WASN'T THE ONLY THING THOUGH, THE FALL OUT I HAD WITH TWISTED WONDERLAND WAS ALSO THE MAIN CAUSE FOR MY DISAPPEARANCE. FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS AND HALF, I WAS INACTIVE IN THE FANDOM, THE GAME AND EVERYTHING IN GENERAL. TWISTED WONDERLAND WAS THE MAIN REASON I STARTED UP THIS BLOG AND I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE GRATEFUL TO MEET AND GET TO KNOW SO MANY WONDERFUL PEOPLE, WRITERS, ARTISTS DURING MY STAY. SO TO SEE THAT I WAS SLOWLY LOSING PASSION TO WRITE FOR TWISTED WONDERLAND WAS VERY DISHEARTENING, BECAUSE ALL OF YOU DARLINGS WHO LOVED MY TWST WORKS MADE THIS BLOG AS IT IS NOW. I DID TRY TO FIX THIS BY MAKING MY TWST BLOG INTO A MULTI-FANDOM BLOG, ADD MORE FANDOMS FOR PEOPLE TO REQUEST IN AN EFFORT KEEP THE BLOG ALIVE BUT AS YOU CAN SEE, I FAILED TERRIBLY. SOMEWHAT (GENSHIN, ARKNIGHTS, ALCHEMY STARS, ETC) I FELT MISERABLE, BECAUSE I WAS MAINTAINING A GOOD STREAK OF POSTING MY WORKS BUT THEN I SEEM TO JUST…RELAPSE INTO ANOTHER DISAPPEARING ACT. I WOULDN'T SAY THAT IT WAS A BURNOUT FROM WRITING BUT MORE LIKE I DIDN'T RESONATE ENOUGH WITH THE FANDOM ITSELF. MY GUILT ATE ME UP FROM THE INSIDE BECAUSE I COULDN'T DELIVERY ON WITH MY PROMISE, REQUESTS PILING UP IN MY INBOX AS IF REMINDING OF ME INCONSISTENCIES SO I STAYED INACTIVE. AGAIN. THERE WERE EVEN TIMES THAT I EVEN CONTEMPLATED OF DELETING THE ENTIRE BLOG ITSELF OUT OF MY OWN SELFISHNESS BECAUSE THE BLOG WAS GRADUALLY TURNING INTO A CHAIN, SOMETHING THAT WAS DRAGGING ME DOWN. ONCE AWHILE, I WOULD HAVE THOUGHTS LIKE 'YOU HAVE PEOPLE WAITING ON YOU TO DO THEIR REQUESTS, WHY AREN'T YOU DOING IT?' 'YOU SHOULD DELETE THE BLOG, YOU KEEP DISAPPEARING SO WHY SHOULD YOU KEEP IT?' I COUNTER THESE THOUGHTS BY REASSURING MYSELF THAT I'M 'BUSY' WITH SCHOOL, THAT I'M HAVING A 'BURNOUT' AND THAT IT'S ALRIGHT TO KEEP THE BLOG AS IT IS. I DON'T FEEL BETTER REGARDLESS BUT IT HELPS FROM KEEPING ME DOING STUPID LIKE NUKING THE ENTIRE BLOG AND REGRETTING IT AFTER IT'S ONLY REALIZE HOW MUCH PEOPLE LOVED MY WORKS BECAUSE AN IRL MUTUAL OF MINE TOLD ME THAT SHE GAVE A LINK OF A WORK I DID TO A FRIEND, THAT SAID FRIEND LOVED THAT WORK TO BITS AND I QUOTE "THIS WRITER IS SO GOOD! I WISH THAT THEY WOULD CONTINUE ON WITH THIS PIECE!". THAT ALONE, STOPPED MY IMPULSIVE THOUGHTS OF DELETING THE BLOG. IT MADE ME REALIZE THAT SHE, LIKE MANY OTHERS, THOROUGHLY ENJOY READING MY WORKS. IT FILLS ME UP WITH JOY, GIDDINESS EVEN THAT PEOPLE GET HAPPY OVER MY WORKS. I FEEL LIKE THAT CONTRIBUTES TO THE MANY DISAPPEARING ACTS I'VE DONE, IT'S BECAUSE I DON'T WANT ANY OF YOU, MY DARLINGS, TO BE UNSATISFIED WITH WHAT I'M WRITING. IT'S A TERRIBLE LOOP I CONFESS, I PLACE AN UNREACHABLE GOAL ON MYSELF AND IF I DON'T ACHIEVE IT, I GET SO UPSET WITH MYSELF THAT I JUST RESORT INTO ANOTHER 'DISAPPEARING ACT' IT'S SAFE TO SAY THAT I CONCOCTED UP A SOLUTION FOR THAT….I THINK?

WHAT I'LL BE DOING WITH BLOG

I WON'T BE DELETING THE BLOG! THAT, I ASSURE YOU IS A PERMANENT DECISION I'VE PLACED ON MYSELF. I KNOW THE FEELING OF DISTRESS WHEN A FAVOURITE WORK OF YOURS GETS DELETED OR THE AUTHOR JUST WENT UP AND DEACTIVATE THEIR BLOG THUS LOSING ACCESS TO THEIR WORK AND I DON'T WANT MY DARLINGS TO GET THAT FEELING! EVER! THE BLOG WILL GET OCCASSIONAL THEME CHANGES BASED ON MY MOODS OR TASTE SO THERE'S THAT!

REMOVAL/WITHDRAWAL OF CERTAIN FANDOMS

I WILL PERMANENTLY STOP WRITING FOR SOME FANDOMS SINCE I FELT LIKE I'M DOING THE FANDOMS UNJUST BECAUSE I'M NOT MAKING ANY WORKS FOR IT. ON ANOTHER NOTE, POSTED WORKS FROM LISTED FANDOMS (THAT WILL BE STOPPED/SEMI-ONGOING) WILL NOT BE DELETED! THEY WILL CONTINUE TO STAY UP BUT THEY WON'T BE UP FOR REQUEST ANYMORE. THIS ALSO INCLUDES MASTERLISTS FOR THE LISTED FANDOMS. BE SURE TO READ MY PINNED POST FOR ANY REQUESTING DETAILS!

PERMANENTLY STOPPED

ARKNIGHTS

ONGOING (UNLIKELY UPDATES)

TWISTED WONDERLAND, GENSHIN IMPACT, ALCHEMY STARS

AT THE END OF A RAINSTORM, THERE'S BOUND TO BE A RAINBOW! SO CONSIDERING THAT I'VE STOPPED WRITING FOR SOME FANDOMS, I'LL BE ADDING NEW FANDOMS AS WELL! TAKE NOTE THAT MY CURRENT FIXATION IS SPREAD OUT MESSILY SO THERE'S A CHANCE THAT THESE FANDOMS MIGHT NOT BE OPEN FOR REQUESTS. I WILL EXPLAIN MORE IN THE NEXT POINT BUT FOR NOW, I'LL RELEASE THE (POSSIBLE) FANDOMS I'LL BE WRITING FOR

(POSSIBLE) FANDOMS I'LL BE WRITING:

JOJO'S BIZZARE ADVENTURE ( PART 1, 2, 3, 4 )

FIRE EMBLEM THREE HOUSES

FINAL FANTASY 15/XV

POKEMON SWSH

CONCERNS FOR REQUESTS

I WILL BE REDUCING THE AMOUNT OF REQUESTS AND NOT OPEN THEM AS REGULARLY AS BEFORE. IN ADDITION OF REDUCED REQUESTS, I WILL NOT BE ACCEPTING REQUESTS FOR CERTAIN FANDOMS BUT STILL PRODUCE WORKS ON IT. THIS IS BECAUSE I WANT TO AVOID HAVING TO FEEL THAT WRITING A PIECE OF WORK IS A CHORE. I WANT TO MAKE WRITING SOMETHING THAT I CAN LET MY CREATIVE JUICES FLOW AND NOT SOMETHING THAT IS RESTRICTED AND OBLIGATORY TO DO EVERY DAY. THE CURRENT REQUESTS IN MY INBOX WILL BE WIPED COMPLETELY. FOR REQUESTS THAT HAVE MADE IT INTO DRAFTS, THEY WILL POSTED SOON! I JUST NEED TO TIDY UP SOME PARTS BEFORE THEY'RE READY FOR PUBLIC VIEW

POSTING SCHEDULE FOR POSTS

I'M GOING TO SAY THIS OFF THE BAT THAT THERE'S GOING TO BE NO SCHEDULE. I'LL BE POSTING MY WORKS WHEN I'M AVAILABLE OR WHEN I'M FEELING LIKE IT. I WON'T PROMISE THAT THERE'S GOING TO BE ANOTHER GOOD STREAK OF DAILY POSTING OR WEEKLY POSTING BECAUSE HOW FICKLE MY LIFE IS BUT I'LL TRY TO MY BEST TO POST AT LEAST SOMETHING ONCE IN A BLUE MOON, TO LET ALL OF MY DARLINGS KNOW THAT I'M STILL KICKING

I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU. TO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. FOR STAYING WITH ME FOR SO LONG AND SUPPORT ME DESPITE OF MY MISTAKES. FOR READING THIS POST UNTIL THE VERY END. I JUST HOPE THAT I'LL BE MORE KINDER TO MYSELF AND THAT I'LL BE ABLE TO BRING JOY TO YOUR LIVES ONCE MORE, EVEN IF JUST A LITTLE BIT

#twisted talks from hana #important

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stagefoureddiediaz · 1 year

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Costume Meta 6x08

Sorry everyone that this is super late - I had to set up Christmas at my place of work and it literally ate up all of my time so I’ve only just ben able to get this finished and posted! Thankfully Christmas is now up and running so I have my life back!

In other news I also hit a follower milestone just before 6x08 aired - I’m not really someone who celebrates these things and I can’t offer anything to you all in thanks as I’m not really creative in that way, but Thank you to all of you following me I love you all and I cannot tell you how much joy I’ve got from being in this fandom with you all. It truly means a lot to me that so many of you have embraced my costume ramblings, and that you seem to enjoy them! lets get on with the meta shall we!

You know I said in my 6x07 meta how 6x08 was probably going to be a fairly heavy costume episode because 6x07 was fairly lightweight - well sometimes i don’t like being right - especially when its insanely busy at work and I therefore have less time to write!

There were a lot of costumes for our mains this week, and some interesting developments - choices have been made my friends - choices have been made!

Chimney

Oh hello there Chimney wearing Red!!! its not a colour we see on Chim very often at all - he is far more of a - blacks, greys, dark greens and blues kind of guy, but this red basket weave shirt is a fun choice for him. We could apply the red flag theory her and say that the house hunting isn’t going to go well based on this shirt alone. I also love that he’s got a bit dressed up to go house hunting. I also love that this shirt is made up of both red and white - the passion (red and representing his love for Maddie) and purity (white - essentially Jee) - something we get to see further played out in the next shirt choice

the next shirt being this white tee which I really loved to see in this scene - white is a colour of purity and its perfect for this moment - Chim is full of naïve hope that turning the dining room into a bedroom for Jee will work out for them as a solution until they can find a suitable 2 bed house

Then we have Chim in a navy/black v necked long sleeve tee and a knit hoodie in the same colour. I think they’re both black (in the blue black spectrum rather than the brown black spectrum) but I can’t be 100% as the lighting in both scenes makes it tricky to be sure. Either way to go from white to black is emblematic of how the change isn’t working - its the whole going from light to dark - hope to despair!!

the final Buckley-Han scene shows Chim in maroon - still a colour we see the men of 911 in fairly often when they are in a parental role (and generally speaking - happy in this role), its not a completely accurate theme for this colour, as we see it used at other points as well, but in this scene it fits the theme perfectly.

Maddie

Maddie in the same blazer we saw in 6x04 when Maddie visits the little girl she was on the phone with when her abusive father almost killed her mother. Its an interesting choice for a repeat item of costume - the two scenes don’t seem to connect in any obvious way on the surface, except the little girl and her mother are free and moving on/forward with their lives - they no longer have to hide in a small apartment, they can now move on to something better - thats what is happening with Maddie, Chim and Jee - they are looking to move on and forward and into a new apartment. Of course the plaid shirt is very much telling us that this i not going to end well and I even think it might be foreshadowing what ever is going to go down with the house Chimney finds in 6x09!

We’re sticking with Maddie’s outfit theme of tee, blazer and false front hoodie as well as her Jee-Jun heart necklace (which I’ve started calling that as she only started wearing it after Jee was born) very much enjoying Maddie wearing a tee with a keyhole and a slogan that says ‘love dreamers’ on it in an episode called whats your fantasy! I think its a very interesting choice for this scene - where Maddie and Chim have had to compromise on their dream (for the time being) and the new arrangement quickly goes wrong.

Green plaid I see you!!! I can’t decide at this point if they’re trying to make it look like Maddie is wearing Chim’s shirts or not. its plaid which is fitting with the check theory, and we see Maddie (and Chim) struggling with Jee and their tiny apartment. While the theory fits in with what we see in this episode, its also part of the wider foreshadowing for their apartment search - this is the second plaid item we see Maddie in this episode - not something we tend to see her in often, so we should definitely keep an eye on things realting to the house hunt going forward (especially with the synopsis for 6x09!) The other thing is the green getting brighter and darker as Maddie settles back into her life as a Mother and partner - hence the darker jewel green hoodie in the final scene - when the three of them are together as a family.

Athena & Bobby

I’m combining them this week because Bobby didn’t have a lot going on costume wise this week - as has been the case for a few episodes now and to be honest its making me a bit queasy - because I’m becoming increasingly convinced they’re doing it deliberately to hide something from us - we’re getting nothing form his clothes - like at all. And I know they are very much in keeping with Bobbys style and colour ways, but I’m suspicious by nature and the change from 5b bobby costumes to 6a bobby costumes in their complete lack of anything interesting beyond his cruise Hawaiian shirt is telling.

(ok so I typed the above and then the 6x09 synopsis dropped and now I feel like my suspicions were founded - I think we might see some more interesting shirt choices on Bobby in 6x09)

Athena’s outfits are very much typical Athena outfits - we get her in a dark plum cardigan with some sparkle. The most notable thing though is that necklace - this is a new one for Athena - it looks to me to be a guardian angel - continuing the foreshadowing of the mama bear necklace from the last episode.

Then we have this very typical Athena in army green trousers and black top combo - with another new necklace

I can’t get a good enough close up to figure out what it is at the moment - I’m sure one of you out there might have more luck than I - if you do drop me an ask 😎

Athenas final outfit - is this fab yellow ochre cardigan (I really love this colour on Athena) and the pelican necklace has returned!

The thing with this shade of yellow ochre, is that we’ve only seen Athena and Buck wearing it with any regularity (Hen has worn the same shade a couple of times but nowhere near as much as Athena and Buck), and interestingly enough it tends to be connected with the idea of communicating a change in family dynamic for both of them (and Hen as well - the most obvious example being when she talks to her mom about having to give Nia back to her biological mother) I find it very intriguing that they are choosing to parallel the two (three if we include Hen) of them in this way, on top of all the other parallels we’ve seen between Athena and Buck in the past.

4x12 - Treasure hunt (she has a yellow ochre top on underneath the jacket as well). This one is a slightly brighter shade of yellow, and we see more of a shift in the firefam dynamic than the Grant-Nash family dynamic, but actually thats just as relevant - its a build in to the shooting (both Eddie and Bobby), and ties most closely with the two shirts Buck wears in 4x11 & 14.

Its also building into all of the happenings for the Grant-Nash family in season 5 - its very telling that this is the moment they chose to put Athena in yellow ochre for the first time because the storyline from this episode chimes back in with the conversation Athena and Hen have - about money and winning the lottery in this episode, which directly connects to 2x17 - the episode where Shanon dies - wearing the same yellow ochre!! All 3 episodes are similarly titled in that they are playing on the theme of fantasy - ‘Careful what you wish for’, ‘Treasure hunt’ and ‘Whats your fantasy’ and the interconnection of them the use of this colour is something I need to think on a bit more because what the costumes are doing here is interconnecting seemingly unconnected story arcs and I can’t be coherent about it right now!

5x05 - when Athena smacks Harry - for running away and acting out

5x07 - a conversation with Bobby about Harry and his acting out in the aftermath of being kidnaped by Jeffery Hudson

5x08 - Defend in pace - when Michael announces he’s leaving to support David in Haiti.

5x14 - conversation with Bobby about Harry having the same shoes as the boy hit by a car

As you can see all of the subsequent times Athena is in yellow ochre we see the Grant-Nash dynamics shift in some way, so the colour is indicating to our (the viewer) subconcious that things are about to shift or change.

I ran out of images so you’ll have to go look these up yourself, but as I mentioned in my mini Buck bts meta we see Buck in the shade in 3x06 and then the same top in 4x04/5.

In season 4 we also see him wearing ochre in episodes 2, 3, 11 and then at the end of 14 - during the will reveal and Eddie’s welcome home party and Like I said above, this is a slightly brighter shade, than the other others.

4x02

4x03

4x11 (this is the one that most closely ties in with the Athena jacket from 4x12 in terms of shade, and interestingly they are both about the wider firefam - in this case Sue Blevins and her hit and run)

4x14 This isn’t the best picture to see that the colour is brighter than the other yellow ochres we see Buck wear, but it is I promise!

5x03

5x04

In season 5 episodes 3 and 4 - both in scenes connected to Maddie and her departure from LA because of her PPD. As you can see all of Bucks wearing Yellow ochre also connects in with changing family dynamics - from 3x06 where Buck is getting back with his firefam in the post lawsuit world (interesting that both Athena and Buck wear it for the first time in a firefam moment rather than a scene connected to their actual family), to Maddie’s pregnancy and the change in family dynamics that brings, all the way through to her needing to leave to get herself well again and the elephant in the room that is the Will and Buck becoming a part of another family - his own family.

May

I want to talk about these two costumes in parallel, because they are two sides of the same coin. Here we have May dressed in a youthful way - a way of connecting the scene to her past - the fact she is bringing home the boy she dated in high school - a time when she was ‘innocent’ but then we revert to the more mature May - one who is more sophisticated and wiser - hence the black fitted dress. the connecting thing is the trainers - she wears the same pair of trainers with all 3 of her main outfits (we don’t see her shoes in the dark green Tennis jumper from the last scene, but she’s probably wearing them then as well) its a thread that connects all the different versions of May we get in this episode.

Conversely, Darius dresses in the opposite direction - he’s more formally dressed when he’s at the Grant-Nash house, and more comfortably dressed when at his frat house - an interesting choice considering May is very dressed up by comparrison, but it shows how they are in two different places at this point - Darius is dressed in keeping with all his housemates and Mays outfit places her on the outside of them - she has more life experience (and it therefore more mature).

In many ways neither of these outfits really represent the May we’ve seen on our screens for the last 5+ years, unlike the two later outfits we see her in, which are far more typically May.

I am in love with this outfit and Corrine looks incredible in it - its glorious, but it also plays into a couple of different themes for May - it is far more in keeping with May’s wardrobe than the previous outfits, blocked and bright jewel colours in modern and stylishly youthful designs, then we have the red/blue theme of the emergency services (a colour theme that 911 have been playing with since season 1 just not overly often in clothing its been more set and lighting!), but the blue cardigan/jacket is also the same colour as May’s dispatcher shirts, and that is very much intentional - its a call back to her past as a dispatcher, but the choice to use it in a jacket rather than the tee (because they could have had her in a blue tee which would’ve more closely resembled the dispatcher top) is symbolic of her putting that persona back on - how many times have we seen it done in film and tv (especially in superhero based stories) where a character either steps into or steps back into something and we see them putting on a jacket as a visual symbol of that change in mentality? this outfit is a visual support to the script - it shows us just how good of a dispatcher May is, and that what she learnt from working there is going to stand her in good stead for her life going forward.

Hen

There is a whole lot going on with this outfit!! The leopard print is becoming a bit of a theme for Hen - we’re seeing her wearing clothes incorporating it an increasing amount, and both her outfits for this episode make use of it. This is especially pertinent as the use of leopard print on woman's clothing is considered to be a symbol of independence, confidence, non conformity and sexuality! It’s all tied to Hen being in a place of happiness - we saw her in it at her vow renewal, at the end of s5, but then we don’t see it again until after she has decided to give up on being a doctor.

The other outfit we have Hen in is this brown and black plaid shirt with leopard print pockets with violet trousers. We have to have a conversation about this jacket and this scene because its a super important and a doozy - Hen’s jacket is pretty similar to bucks at equestrian centre, and in many ways the scene pays out in a not dis-similar fashion.

It’s an interesting choice because it directly parallels their positions in those story arcs - buck being there and being supportive of Eddie and now Hen filling the same role for Buck.

I think it’s actually an important direction the show is taking this. Yes of course we all desperately want Eddie to be there for Buck - and I’m sure he will be down the line, but, actually someone other than Eddie being there for Buck - especially if we start to get buck exploring his sexuality and his feelings for Eddie as a part of the sperm donor arc, is really important. Hen is the perfect person here for Buck to confide in - she can be supportive in all aspects of his journey, a position Eddie cannot fill at this moment because neither of them are ready (in the same way that the shooting was brought up at the equestrian centre by Buck, but then not talked about because they weren’t ready then) and Eddie is too close to the centre of everything Buck is going through a especially when you consider that there is a fairly large part of bucks saying yes to being a sperm donor that stems from being a guardian not a father - a reaffirmation if you will of bucks internal monologue that says he’s always the back up plan (which stems from the Daniel of it all not from the will of it all) and so being asked to be a donor just solidifies his thinking there.

It’s really clever writing and costuming from the show and in fact just adds further proof to the Buddie is going canon arguement. Because that scene more generally was a parallel to the equestrian centre scene from s5, even bucks green shirt places him in the same position as Eddie in their respective scenes. It’s starting to make me wonder if we’ve actually in the middle of bucks ‘breakdown’ rather than waiting for it to happen and his is going to unfold in more of a gentle but bumpy descent rather than Eddie’s more explosive one

Christopher

Christophers suit - a really interesting one for me - the implication being that they did in fact buy a suit for and attend the christening of Ana’s niece (or whoever it was) but that things have changed - the addition of the subtle check patterning (I mean I’m sure Gavin has also grown a fair amount in the last year) so a new suit would have been needed anyway, but they could have got a plain one - meaning the addition of the check is important. It fits in with my check theory and is suggestive of Chris being in danger in the future, but it could also serve as a form of reminder that Eddie’s previously chosen path (Ana) was the dangerous one (hence there being the reference to ‘the last time you wore it’) if we take that concept then it’s yet another subtle hint that for Eddie the heteronormative lifestyle that he tried to create was nothing more than a fantasy that was dangerous in reality (ending up in hospital having a panic attack and then later having a breakdown)

I’m also very interested in the fact that we’ve only really seen Chris wearing blue and grey so far this season (with the green and blue pj ‘s being the only exception to the rule and even they had blue in them!). We do see Chris in a fairly large amount of grey, but there is usually an even balance of other brighter colours along side the grey. I’ve been looking at his costumes more widely and its actually kind of interesting - the grey tends to be worn in scenes where Christopher isn’t the one we should be focusing on in the scene - when whomever he’s with is actually the focus (think equestrian centre or suit shopping or the slippery slope pyjamas from 5x10)

Eddie

Blue shirted Eddie my beloved!! I adore this shirt - because of the way its been designed to look a bit worn around the edges - it says so so much about Eddie and where he’s at.

Its of course easy to draw a comparison with the dream sequence in 5x14 when Eddie is in a lighter blue shirt, which has longer sleeves and a pocket - this was a fantasy turned nightmare, it wasn’t really Eddie at all.

By comparison, the tee from 6x08 being darker and blending in very nicely with the bed spread and the carpet stripes. but the main thing is the difference in fit to the two tees - the one from 5x14 is much looser in fit on Eddie - whereas the one from 6x08 fits him like a glove. The ‘designer’ wearing along the seams and edges in this instance just adds to the idea that Eddie is comfortable in himself - Eddie is in a good place - the shade of blue tells us this - its a brighter navy - a colour of confidence and security and the conversation with Carla about keeping fantasies to oneself because talking about them makes them true is only further emphasised by the use of this colour for this.

I’m starting to think I’m going to have to name this jacket the Dad mode jacket - we’ve only seen him wear it when in a scene with Carla, and when something happens that is significant for both Eddie and Christopher equally - the parents evening when Eddie meets Ana for the first time, 5x10 when Chris has a nightmare that pushes Eddie into deciding that he needs to leave active firefighting and the 118 and now this scene - where Chris goes to his first school dance, but Eddie is contemplating the fact that reality can be better than fantasy. Its a real full circle moment as well - from beginning an arc where Eddie tries to force himself to move on (in a school related environment no less), to a mid-point where he starts his breakdown and finally to a moment where he is in a good place and actually ready to move forward - its in someways a moment where this arc is tied up for Eddie (to the point where I wouldn’t be surprised if we actually didn’t see this jacket again) because we actively see him letting Christopher go - he’s no longer hiding behind being a father and we now get to essentially begin a new one with him - exploring who he is (without Chris) anyone?? The olive green top is also a nice touch - because not only does it play into army Eddie and carry on his costume theme, its darker - theres more growth and it gives us a brown/green combination - growth and stability essentially. Eddie is happy and its a glorious thing to see 😍

Buck

More vertical stripes on Buck!!! they really are going all in on this theme this season! the fun thing is that this shirt ties in with the one from the end of 6x01 - yes this has grey rather than blue stripes, but the idea that I mentioned in my 6x01 meta about Buck beginning to figure things out and understand himself better holds true here. The 6x01 scene was about Buck moving forward - the moving of the arm chair a symbol of that, but one that is also not really all its cracked up to be (its hopeful, but also lonely and representative of how buck has closed himself off even to his family), this scene is, again, showing us a Buck moving forward - this time we see him move on from donating sperm by being Uncle Buck (the very thing he will essentially be reduced to if the donation is successful) so its key here that we see him being run ragged by his niece - that babysitting her isn’t actually as fun as the fantasy Buck probably envisioned it being in his head - the narrowing of the stripes are giant red flag on how the sperm donor story is going to go because the 6x01 shirt is before he’s asked to be a donor - this one comes after the donation has been made. I think we need to keep an eye out for Buck wearing cream and vertical stripes in the coming episodes because I think it will give us a good few clues about where Buck is at - if the stripes stay narrow or if we see them beginning to widen out again!

I found Bucks maroon hoodie an interesting choice for this scene (although not sure tucking it into ones jeans is necessarily a vilid fashion choice!). As we know, Buck has an interesting relationship with wearing maroon specifically t-shirts and hoodies and its very much connected with his family - in season 2 we see him wearing it in connection to big talks with Maddie - about Maddie staying and about Abby, before we see him wearing it in connection with Eddie and Chris in episode 10 for the first time.

After that the - tees become about the Diaz boys while the hoodies connect in with Maddie (and more widely the Buckley-Hans) Buck wearing a maroon hoodie in this scene only further confirms the theory.

Then there is the watch still there on his wrist. I’m brining it up for this costume because its a pointed choice to have it on the outside of a longer sleeve. This season we haven’t seen buck without his watch once (other than where he’s wearing turnouts and you can’t see) which is unusual for Buck - up to this point he’s always worn his watch while in uniform, but in civvies, its been about 50:50 on if he’s been wearing it or not and when he’s in long sleeves we see him wearing it less. this makes Bucks watch wearing super important - and we’ve seen it focused on several times this season so far - this is just the latest moment (because that watch is reflecting light of the face even when Buck is in the darkness and moving towards the light!)

The white high tops are back and looking a little less than their usual pristine which is interesting - because its suggestive that Bucks journey towards happiness and building a family is less pure than before - this to me is very much a good thing - Buck has a tendency to be idealistic and the shoes have reflected this in the fact they’ve been so clean, the fact we’re now seeing them looking a bit more lived in (and in this episode) suggests that Bucks learning that dreams don’t have to be perfect, and actually the ones that are a little lived in are better than the shiny idealistic ones!

Why his trousers are so short I will never know - its not something we’ve seen to quite this extreme on him before - I’m working with the theory it was something he did while moving the cute little pink bed!

Firstly - I am living for the fact that this shirt is so see-through you can fully see the vest he has on underneath it 😂 but in all seriousness - I made a mini meta about the bts we got of Buck in his preppy outfit and spoke about how I thought we might see Buck progressing through increasingly darker green shades as the sperm donor storyline unfolds - now he’s made his donation. this shirt is so far proving the theory (only 1 shirt in, so it could all go wrong from here, but right now I’m winning!), its one I really like because its a double whammy of showing growth - both through the use of green , but also through it becoming increasingly dark - think about how the leaves on trees are always a much more bright and lighter green in spring and they darken up over the course of summer. same thing with these shirts. I also love the transparency of the shirt - it ties back into the whole arc of Buck hiding his feelings from others - and that he’s a bit more transparent than he perhaps thinks he is.

How I managed to sneak 40 pictures into this post I’ll never know, but I did it!!!

If you’ve made it to the end then I thank you - have a cookie on me 🍪🍪🍪

I hope you’ve enjoyed my deep dive ramblings on costume for 6x08 - drop me a reblog or a comment to let me see your thoughts - I love reading them!!

As always tagged people below

@mistmarauder @theladyyavilee @loveyourownsmiilee @leothil @girldadbuddie @kitkatpancakestack @buckscurls @lemotmo @trashendence @elishareads @clipboardsandstethoscopes @comfortbuddie @fiona-fififi @name-code-black-widow @callanee @calyssmarviss @pbandjeremiah @batgrldes @piningpettyeddie @bi-moonlight @spotsandsocks @livingwherethesidewalkends @idontshitpostbuttheolympicpark @diazboysbuckley @sweettsubaki @jordxnhennessy @shortsighted-owl @sherlocking-out-loud @dickley-buddie @favouritealias @hearteyesdiaz @gossamerglob @ktinastrikesback @adamrparrrish @princesschez75 @bucksbuddie @oneawkwardcookie @leatherat @moniquekatie @wanderingwomanwondering @trickster-archangel @outrunningthedark @asharadaine @ajunerose @talespinner230 @pop-kam @swiftiebuckleys @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx

#kym costume meta #911 costume meta #6x08 costume meta #911 costumes #kym costume theory #911 costume theory #kym colour theory #911 on fox #911fox #chimney han #maddie buckley #bobby nash #Athena grant #hen wilson #Eddie Diaz #evan 'buck' buckley #christopher diaz #may grant

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marsbotz · 10 months

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hello I keep seeing u talk ab loving skybound but I'm curious as to why u love it, and would LOVE to read a super in-depth explanation bc im kinda a skybound notliker and ik uve changed my mind on certain thigns ab this show b4, and I was hoping u cld do it again !!! :DDD /gen

YEAH. OKAY !!! sorry this is super long and rambly i already had to rewrite it once cus tumblr ate it lol... and also sorry its all basically abt jay (running away embarrassed)

first of all let me say i do think skybound is a BAD season. having the characters suddenly all be sexist out of nowhere to drive plot is stupidddd and so is having a retcon ending that makes it all redundant except for Jaya Canon Now. i think thats mostly what makes the fandom not like it. BUT. i think its sooo interesting for like so many reasons also

i think s8 is considered the darkest season which is fair. but skybound also has a crazyyy amount of dark and DEEPLY interesting things it touches on. the ninja disappearing one by one. jays birth father being his favourite actor. jay torture. jaya actually being interesting!! lets talk abt these.

having the ninja slowly be cut out of the season is GREAT for not only building tension but also being able to more deeply build upon jay and nyas characters (and their relationship). the 22 min format means that some characters (like wu and kai) are gone for AGES. which is sad for kai fans but greatttt for the season. it rlly makes u feel their absence, and some of their disappearances are scary!! zane trying to outsmart nadakhan but realising too late hes been tricked... AHH!!!

if you compare this to how they did it in s12 its a lot more impactful as theres more time for the characters to... be gone. and the videogame nature rlly does take away a lot of the tension IMO. if jays mothers had been in prime empire like planned.... it would have been a GREAT parallel i think but as it is its just kind of odd. thats another convo tho lol (altho there issss the mention of jay being adopted at the end. very interesting [it goes nowhere])

i literally think abt jay adoption arc every god damn day of my life. ill try to explain this without getting too deep into my personal sicko hcs lol. first you get a rlly nice callback to s1 w jay being ashamed of his parents and living in a junkyard only to realise how litte he cares once theyre threatened. thennn you have the whole situation at cliffs house. jay finds out the man who abandoned him at birth (possibly? we dont know details) is the actor for fritz donnegan. the same character who jay imitated and aspired to be like. and then he realises his father felt the same admiration towards jay!! and they both never knew!!!

i think this twist is what makes a lot of jays behaviour in s6.... not excusable... but understandable. jay is shown to be insecure and have weird fucking ways of coping with this (lying. lying lying all the time) and so it kinda feels natural that his way of coping with this information would be to 1. hide the fact he made wishes 2. try to imitate his father through his book and 3. Never Speak Of This Again.

speaking of that lets talk about jay being tortured. can we talk about that?? they FUCKED him up. but the most important part out of allll of it is a character trait i rarely see ppl attribute to jay even though its like... pretty consistent for him. is his willpower!! hes able to endure days of torture to the point where he can barely walk and talk at the end of it just to stop nadakhan from gaining more power

nadakhan also directly points out jays insecurities and how they make him lie to his friends... and jays able to show some of his smarts thru trying to get flintlocke to stage a mutiny! honestly the whole episode is so damn interesting it makes me SEETHE its not more talked abt LOL

i wont get into my insanely complex jaya opinions rn but i will say s6 has one of the most interesting depictions of the ship to me. nya being reluctant to date jay due to being seen simply as his girlfriend is soooo interesting and fits well w her arc of not wanting to give up her own deal w sam x to become a ninja. its just a shame they had to retroactively make everyone misogynistic to do so lolol... and the ending w jays wish Potentially forcing them together is soooo odd and kinda goes what the rest of the season was setting up for them. THIS IS MAINLY why i think ppl hate this season. cus it sets up SOOO much cool stuff and then drops it all last second

i think the things that could have saved skybound from being so hated would be

1. do the same plotpoints w nya but dont drag the ninja AND DARETH into it ..... make them supportive of her!

2. makes jays final wish have some FUCKING consequence! you could do a LOT with how he worded it to twist it badly (im a nadakhan return truther for life)

3. not dropping every single intersting character trait ever. and also not dropping the GOD DAMN ADOPTION ARCCCCCC and also not revealing jay to be so crushingly insecure he physically cannot stop himself from lying to ppl and putting on a happy mask and then turn him into a one note comic relief character. [becoming a soulless husk]

LOL i realise this sounds now like i hate skybound I DONT i just think its very flawed. BUT thats whyyyy i love it... because its so interesting! its flawed in a way like "there is soooo much i cld do w this" and not like "i dont care about any of this its so bad". w ninjago my fav parts have always been the weird icky edgy parts that are almost too much for what it is... which is a childrens lego show. ik they cld never have done most of the interesting stuff i imagine coming out of skybound and thats ok! bc i get to think abt it evilly.

heres some assorted things i love and think are fun in skybound

kai and zane banter at the repo yard

ronin capturing the ninja!! specifically him shutting down zane from the inside is super scary and cool

NINJA IN PRISON!!!!! i almost threw up when they went to jail in crystallised its so fuckign fun. SKYBOUND 2!!!

zane playing chess against nadakahn. another scary zane moment

jay trusting only cole w the truth abt his wishes (HELL YES BROTHER)

clanceeeeee <3 him being like one sided friends w jay and standing up to nadakhan at the end of it all... wahhh

NINJA REPLACEMENTS. so fucking funny i love jay and his assortment of old guys And Skylor

everytime i watch it i cant stop thinking of this ytp and it makes me cry. its not even that funny i just have watched it like 50 times

its dungeon media. this is smth i made up and only i know abt . dont worry abt it but its true

ok my brain is mush HOPE THIS MAKES. some sort of sense . bascially trying to condense 6 years of Thoughts into coherent analysis is impossible for me LOL

#this post twisteed into smth dark and evil halfway thru sorry. i balcked out im not proofreading this shit #ninjago #asks #now someone ask me about s7.#ITS SO HARD DOING THESE cus i literally have a billion thoughts from over 6 yrs of stewing in my brain but its fun i love talking abt ninja #some day i will be able to make actual ninjago meta posts. but not today

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