#exsistence
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I had a dream two days ago.
In my dream there was a man crouched beside a tree stump. His presence was a calming one and his demeanour that of a teacher, he reached forward and from the centre of the tree stump lifted a sort of heart. This was not a flesh and blood heart, but a heart nonetheless. With this stange heart in his hands he turned to me and said
"The map to the heart of life, lies insides the inner layers of the very heart itself, but the journey must be taken without bringing the heart along"
My interpretation of this is that the key to life is to strip oneself of ego and individuality, to simply exsist as a life form no different than a plant or bug. To sit and experience life as just a part of life, not a conqueror of it. A reminder that we are a collective. Sometimes your human biais can cloud you to true meaning.
But then again perhaps I am clouded.
#27paperlilies#writeblr#i dreamt#dreams#exsistence#meaning of life#spilled ink#words words words#philosophy#nihilism#collective unconscious#collective consciousness
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<3
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i dont belive in any inteligent creator behind out universe. not that it's impossible, i just have no incentive to belive for the sake of belief and there wasn't anything that made me belive for a reason.
BUT !!!
if there were some kind of something that created the universe with intention, and us within it for whatever reason, and it had good intentions... i would be able to asign it atributes based on the world we live in. and this post is about just one of those.
if something created the universe, one of the things i would be grateful to it for would be how absolutely infinite the amount of knowledge seems to be in our universe. like, humanity could exist for trillions of trillions of years, evolve and de-evolve, die out and come back, get stunted and grow exponentially, and we still would probably never understand everything there is to understand. our planet is constantly changing, our history is constantly getting written and erased, our natures and lives different between each individual that has and will ever exist (and even within the individual themself), the universe so vast and evergrowing, with truths we hardly grasp the ideas of, places to explore infinite, humans to interact with just as infinite as all that, sensations and experiences left to invent... i do belive "perfection" doesnt exist, and for "eternity" i dont know, but before the final human descendant dies, it really will be infinite. and i hope... when that final human dies, they will die knowing we really got the most out of life, and it is now their time to see for themself the truth of one final mystery... what happens after death.
i find that very beautiful. if that is really, truly, the reality we live in, my heart is satisfied. sure, i wont experience a huge majority of what life has to offer, but i am happy to know that we are all collectively, in different places and time-periods, having some unique experience to contribute to the collective human-experience-counter :)
#mr. koopa original#hopepunk#hopecore#thoughts#pantheism#ex religious#philosophy#exsistence#humanity#peoplehood#humanness#to be human#hopeful
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Today I am heavy. There is a stone warming in my stomach, it has no other purpose, but to be a heavy burden.
#27rantinglilies#It do be like that these days#writing#writeblr#spilled ink#prose writing#exsistence#Is cruel#Anxiety
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Always remember, all this external stuff is EXTRA!
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Time ⏳
time will eventually
eat us all, jaws
wide open, foaming,
waiting for the most
ironic and opportune
moment to consume;
it is the most
terrifying thought,
wondering if I've
done enough, if
today were the day
i am to be eaten.
~kairos 💛
#poetry#poem#poems#prose#kairos#love#instapoetry#short poems#kairos the human poet#my poetry#time#exsistence#existential dread#deep#linguistics#deep poems#deep poetry#instapoet#tumblr poetry#poetblr#thinking#creative writing#writer#aspiring writer#poesía#shortpoems#content creation#original content#reading#aesthetic
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I have found something rare that could not have resided inside me without the fall from heaven into reality. The impact cracked my bones and shattered my glass heart, it opened up letting all the false love escape me, lying in the dirt alone under pale moonlight did I feel my ego die. The only thing I stood on was our love, and when it was gone there was nothing left to keep me standing tall. In my bones and my scorned heart the ego screamed out, a parasite escaping the wreckage searching for its next victim for I was too broken to inhabit my core rotten. Under la luna all alone I began to heal, I found solace in her grace as I watched her face change. There was something reflecting in the ash of my soul a gleaming gem that could only be found through the fall, it showed me a new love my own reflection. Nothing could craft this without the break, this whole time my love was mine all mine and nothing in the world belongs to me but my love.
“my love is mine all mine���- frozenheartedgirl
#love mine all mine#prose#frozenheartedgirl#excerpt from a book i'll never write#lit#spilled thoughts#dark night of the soul#inspiration#lover quotes#exsistence#writers on tumblr#mitski
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Who?
“I know pretty much what I like and dislike; but please, don’t ask me who I am” -Sylvia Plath
Our whole lives we spend immense amounts of time trying to discover who we are, what lies beneath the image we show others, but is this a fulfilling ambition?
Does this goal ever get conquered? Has anyone ever been able to know exactly what they want and who they are through each experience? Unchanging? Stubborn.
Everyday is a new beginning, we hear this so often but do we understand what it truly represents? New beginnings require destruction and birth, are these things we can achieve in sleep? Do we destroy every atom of yesterday in 8 hours? Do we wake up a child who’s captivated by every detail we can hold? No, we don’t.
Isn’t the beauty of life not knowing what or even who tomorrow brings? If we begin again and again and again can there ever even be an end?
I want to place my head on my pillow and burn down buildings and islands that hold my history, all the files and packages that reside within me, taking up too much space and weighing me down, i want to destroy who i was in every single yesterday, never being able to look back and reminisce, only forward, to tomorrow when i wake up new and bright, not anchored by textbooks or notes, just sailing. Beginning. Again.
I know exactly who I am and it's not what I did but what I do, what I grow from, feel, see, hear, breathe. I’m ever changing, movable, and understanding. I will always be a stranger to myself but i fall deeply and madly in love each day with who i become, repeating this cycle forever i will continue to live on in millions of ways unbeknownst to me as i am now but i welcome anyone who decides to cross through my mirror and puppet me for the day for ill learn a little more about who to become tomorrow.
#poetry#writing#who am i#who are you#philosophy#motivation#positivethinking#quotes#sylvia plath#inpiration#inspiring quotes#thinking#existential crisis#exsistence#peace#short poetry#editor
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youtube
Limits of Language : Alan Watts
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I don't know what I'm doing here sometimes.
And maybe it will end soon.
It feels like maybe I've done what I was supposed to do.
I feel like a plant that stopped growing and is slowly withering.
I never ask for much or need anyone.
But maybe someone should water me and feed me.
And give me new soil.
I've come so far yet I am still in the same place in many ways.
Same feelings. Similar situations.
Maybe it means I've reached the limit of what I was meant to learn.
You're just upstairs but it seems so far.
The house has people but I feel alone.
I think of what I would leave behind.
She's grown so she would be alright. But I'm not sure it's time to leave her yet. She is young.
I think she may still need me.
But maybe I bring her unhappiness too.
I seem to make her nervous.
The stress seeps into every interaction.
She thinks it's her fault but it's not.
She thinks I am uninterested but I am.
I am just tired and preoccupied.
She doesn't know how much she saved my life.
Without her I would have been hopeless.
She gave me purpose.
And I am proud of her.
She is light.
Maybe she would be free from my dark cloud if I was gone.
You would be fine.
Maybe you would be happier with someone else or without me.
I don't think you ever needed me really.
You are a fighter. You never need anyone.
A lone wolf. Like me.
That's why I was drawn to you because we were the same underneath it all.
But I don't know anymore. You're not like me.
You seem against me.
Maybe it's my fault.
Because my unhappiness makes you feel you are the cause. And inadequate.
So then maybe for you too it would be better if I was gone.
I made plans so she will have money.
You too.
Maybe you could keep the house or go somewhere new.
I would be glad to leave my work behind. I never liked it.
It made me free financially. But imprisoned me in other ways.
It's the crux of my unhappiness.
It swallows me up and corners me.
But it allows me to provide and for that I am grateful.
But it owns me.
I could break free.
They would be OK. They have each other. And they have her - she is a piece of me.
The cat would be OK. She will care for the cat.
What remains are possessions which I don't care about.
But the dog needs me. I can't leave him behind.
He's just a puppy really.
He is too much work for everyone.
And requires too much patience.
Even mine wears thin.
I don't want his life to be hard or sad because I gave up.
His eyes talk to me.
I wanted him. It's my responsibility.
And God saved him that day for me.
I have to see it through to the end.
I have to give him a good life.
He does make me happy. He's a good boy.
And my friend.
The dog needs me. So I cannot go.
I won't let the feeling in for him.
If it wasn't for the dog, I might summon it. And I know it would probably come.
I wouldn't even have to do it myself.
The universe would respond.
But I am tired. And I need help.
I've been trying to ask.
It's ok. I will put it all aside.
I have to keep going.
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*enjoying a lollipop* you have a terrifying existence
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Moving through time is like slowly sinking into the ocean. With every passing day you gain more perspective as you look up at the waters to see what you already passed though. But when you try to look down and see what's ahead, you can't make it out clearly.
#spilled ink#spilled words#beautiful thoughts#time passing#time theory#time flies#thinking#exsistence#bookish#deep thoughts#daydreaming
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oftentimes when I enter a place people do not notice me that I start questioning if I'm even real. but I prefer being a ghost like that than being perceived
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We are literally on a giant rock with a millions forms of life and and endless galaxy around us rendering us to a fraction of a spec. That shits weird.
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What little whispered secrets we share.
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