#edward will always have a 70s vibe
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i drew this for the pose and then I was thinking it would be cool to design some boxing posters for Nina and Deirdre before they started being henchwenches, because they have had a varied set of careers before settling on babysitter for an angry strand of cooked spaghetti
#riddler pi au#echo#nina damfino#i'm not very good at deciding on a time line for the comic#but i like to think of each character as sort of belonging to a particular decade so Q&E retain punk aspects#whatever the year#edward will always have a 70s vibe#etc.
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Theme Breakdown for the Demons/Angels Universe (Part 1 of ???)
Someone suggested I do this, here’s a break down of how I chose all the themes for the Sins + Virtues. The reasons will range from “something extremely deep” to “haha instrument go brrrr.” I’ll do more characters from this universe in the future.
I compile everyone’s themes for this universe in this playlist!
Invidia: String Quartet No. 3, BB 93: Seconde parte: Allegro – Béla Bartók
Starting off strong with a not that deep reason, the opening trill from the second violin has always reminded me of a snake. Invidia’s design draws inspiration snakes given that she’s canonically the Serpent of Eden.
This is a very musically technical piece, I like how it all comes together to sound very layered and barbaric. I think that fits Invidia, she’s got a lot of pent up emotion underneath her cold exterior.
Ira: Symphony No. 10 in E Minor, Op. 93: II. Allegro – Dmitri Shostakovich
Supposedly this is meant to be a musical portrait/representation of Joseph Stalin.
Heavy brass evokes imagery of marching armies. Reminds me of John Williams’ work for the original Star Wars trilogy.
Acedia: Music for Strings, Percussion, and Celesta, Sz. 106, BB 114: I. Andante tranquillo – Béla Bartók
This was a bit of a fine line I had to walk, I wanted something peaceful but still sinister.
I find that Bartók walks that line perfectly in this movement, it’s simultaneously tranquil but there’s a darker tone to it.
Superbia: Ruslan and Ludmilla: Overture – Mikhail Glinka
Overtures are usually the openings to operas, ballets, etc. They’re typically very flourishing and bombastic. I find that this specific overture is the right amount of bombastic I wanted for Superbia’s theme
Luxuria: Samson et Dalila, Op. 47, R. 288: Bacchanale – Camille Saint-Saëns
In music, bacchanales are typically meant to depict drunken revels/orgies.
The opera is based off of the story of Samson and Delilah from the Old Testament. In many interpretations of the tale, Delilah is meant to be a sinful, sexual woman.
Gula: Symphony No. 1 in D Major "Titan": II. Kräftig Bewegt, Doch Nicht Zu Schnell - Trio: Recht Gemächlich - Tempo Primo – Gustav Mahler
I found the extremely long title of this movement really funny lmao
There’s a playful, joviality to this piece. I think that fits given Gula’s the more optimistic one of the Sins.
Avaritia: The Marriage of the Figaro Overture – W.A. Mozart
Historically, operas have been associated with the upper class and wealth. Many operas were commissioned by nobility
Mozart is the best of the best, it’s only fitting that Ava’s theme would be the best of the best as well
Camael: Variations on an Original Theme, Op. 36 “Enigma”: VIII. W.N. (Allegretto) – Edward Elgar
All of the movements of Elgar’s Enigma Variations are inspired by various friends and loved ones of the composer.
More graceful and lyrical melody in contrast to Invidia’s barbaric and savage theme.
Zadkiel: Symphony No. 9 in E Minor: III. Scherzo: Molto Vivace – Antonín Dvořák
You’ll notice that Michael and Zadkiel’s themes are similar. Both are from the same composer (Antonín Dvořák), both are the third movement of a symphony, and both are scherzos.
It ties into Zadkiel being Michael’s successor. Not just literally, but his musical theme (symphony 9) being a successor to Michael’s theme (symphony 7).
Gabriel: Piano Quintet in C Minor: II. Scherzo (Allegro non troppo) – Alexander Borodin
Scherzos are usually short, fast paced and playful pieces.
Raphael: Petite Suite (orchestrated by Henri Büsser): IV. Ballet – Claude Debussy
Very happy and playful piece, easily fits her personality
Uriel: String Sextet in D minor "Souvenir de Florence", Op. 70: II. Adagio cantabile e con moto – P.I. Tchaikovsky
Very innocent and romantic vibes, contrasts with Luxuria’s boisterous bacchanale
There’s a viola solo in this piece. And I feel like there’s a viola joke to be made here with Uriel being the most uptight, pretentious asshole, but I’m blanking out on one >:(
Jophiel: Double Concerto in A Minor: III. Vivace non troppo – Johannes Brahms
A big motif I keep with Jophiel is balance, their theme is no different.
The piece starts in a minor key and ends in a major key. The concerto is meant for a solo violin (the upper register of stringed instruments) and a solo cello (the lower register of string instruments), along with the orchestra.
Michael: Symphony No. 7 in D Minor: III. Scherzo: Vivace – Antonín Dvořák
I already talked about how Michael and Zadkiel’s themes mirror each other, so I won’t copy and paste it all here lmao
I became obsessed with this particular piece during the early days of the COVID pandemic. I’ve always associated this piece with enduring things despite the hard times.
#oc#demons/angels universe#melo’s musings: art blog edition#bts notes#aka my excuse to ramble about classical music
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tomorrow is a long time
by geekyfrog
1962
Ed Teach, a rebellious 19 years old, meets dorky and shy Stede Bonnet, heir of a car dealerships company, at the local drive-in cinema. It's love at first sight. Well, at least on Ed's part. Unfortunately, life and society have other plans for them, and what could have become a sweet romance ends up with tears and broken hearts.
1978
When famous actor Stede Bonnet walks through the door of his little bookshop in Los Angeles, Ed is stunned. They haven't seen or talked to each other in years. He doesn't expect Stede to even recognize him after all this time...
Except Stede does. And Stede is regretful.
Stede wants to revive their old friendship... and perhaps more.
But Ed's shattered heart still bear the painful marks of Stede's abandonment, and forgiveness doesn't come so easy for him. Not to mention that Stede, now in the public eye, needs to maintain a certain image and reputation.
Still. It's always nice to reconnect...
OR
The Actor/Bookshop Owner AU no one asked for.
Words: 4741, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Characters: Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet, Israel Hands, Lucius Spriggs, "Calico" Jack Rackham, Mary Allamby Bonnet, the others have cameos - Character
Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama & Romance, Slow Burn, stede is a famous actor, ed owns a bookshop, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Weddings, Break Up, ed and stede were childhood friends, Pining, set in the 60's/70's/80's, Eventual Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Paparazzi, evelyn hugo vibes
source https://archiveofourown.org/works/39602154
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The Dark Beginnings ~ Origins of the Ink Demon Chapter 0 Pt.19 ~
"Reala's Room - Nights Universe"
Maka Albarn : Hello? Is anyone here? Hello. Huh? This ground. It kinda reminds of the...
*flashing images*
Maka Albarn : The Black Room. The place with the red and black checkerboard floor or is it the Black and white chess board? Now I remember. This place is the same as the room that Inky Albarn visited the Black room in it's sleep. It's sound mysterious that the red and black checkerboard floor is the same as the room. So why does it sound familiar.
Reala : Greetings, Visitor. Or should I say Alien her of the Phantonian Race.
[Reala Returns - Tatsuyuki Maeda]
Maka Albarn : You! You are the one that looks similar to that Nights fella. You are a Nightmaren. I took down Jackle, that card magician. He looks similar.
Reala : Why yes deed. Cause both him and us are relatives.
Maka Albarn : What?! So what was the purpose of not being guilty for these crimes?
Reala : Well here's the reason for the crimes that you did not even commit. The one who framed you for all those crimes was girl from 70 years before you were born. A girl that looks alike you in black dress, the one they call her the queen of the Ink Demons.
Maka Albarn : So the one that did it, was another one that looks alike me! A queen of the Ink Demons!
*flashing images*
Maka Albarn : Oh god! So that's why I was chosen as the hero for Soul World's story. Inky Albarn was the one that did it and not me! I have both human blood and Phantonian blood. But what I am going to live for if there's no point in fighting!?
Reala : To be honest, the people in Shinra's power were just using teenagers to be under of his will, Phanto prevented you from working for him under the influence. All that Hope, all that despair, it was nothing but the conflicts between the Forces of Good and Bad, Hero vs Evil, Light vs Darkness. Angel Vibe and Demon Vibe have been conflicting each other to a battle of who would be ruler of the cosmos! You've always been a puppet to Shinra's kind, his kind. And that's why the heroes and villains of Soul Eater were fighting against each other over and over.
Maka Albarn : No! That's crazy! How can I be blinded by the lies from Shinra's eyes! How did I not that I was under his influence the entire time?! Why did the author chose me to be the hero of the story! Why me?!
Reala : (laughs Evilly) Now you finally come to your senses, visitor! Foolish Maka, Foolish Shinra, foolish authors, this is your reward for lying to the real world. Allowing you to fear yourself with pain and suffering by struggling with the eyes of truth! Truth is the powerful being that existed In Edward's world. With that from the legacy, the preparations for Demon Vibe's galactic conquest would now resume his plan on taking over the Galaxy! He let you heroes all proceed so that Angel Vibe would never suspect his real intentions on being the ruler of the cosmos. But thanks you and his legacy, that deception of Shinra Kusakabe is finished! The time has come for your disposal! I Shall give you the demise and despair!
Nights : Not if I can help it!
Reala : Nights, you bickering fool! You cameback just to defeat me, is it? Well this time I will hold nothing back from you!
Nights : Hey, Maka! I give you an idea! We should our courage to give Reala a taste of his own medicine! Want to dualize with me?
Maka Albarn : I don't know if that's gonna work! But...okay! Let us combine with courage and strength! With the powers of hearts, souls, and dreams!
Nights : Yeah!
*SFX : DUALIZE*
Nights : Come on, reala! Give me your best shot!
Reala : Very well, I shall give you the demonstration to Maka Albarn's truth! The truth shall be her judgement! The world of Soul Eater must die!
[Nights & Reala - Naofumi Hataya]
"VS : REALA THE NIGHTMAREN"
(Battle Begins)
Reala : Remember, Nights. This is our little rematch with you, dualizng an alien girl would help her find her path of saving Real World from the forces of true evil! Come to say that heroes and villains have conflicting in the Ohkuboverse for so long, demon Vibe has a plan to stop these conflicts.
Nights : So what's the plan on stopping the Ohkuboverse's conflicts?
Reala : I know how. Death and Destruction, that's the only way to stop the many conflicts from the Ohkuboverse!
Nights : Yeah, right! I'm not going to fall for that!
Reala : Well it's your lucky day that I guranteed that gods, monsters, and machines can be destructive force to think putting the world into genocide was thought to be a good idea. But it's the destructive force that wanted to turn the planet into space dust!
Nights : So the symbol of the three eyes were...
Reala : That's right! Birthmarks of the Shadow Realm
Maka Albarn : So that's what's going on with Soul Eater very first existence! Shinra Kusakabe lied to me! I read his story, I trusted his legacy, and I worked under his influence! I showed Shinra Kusakabe my courage of defeating a God! Why did you tell anyone the truth that Asura was not the face of evil itself! Am I good enough to lie about it!?
Reala : Precisely. After all, Humans and Witches become arrogant species to the planet and to blame it on Shinra Kusakabe for destroying both of their kinds!
Maka Albarn : No wonder why Shinigami's hatred against witches makes me feel like that is so...Racist!
Nights : Oi! Maka! Don't say things to other like that!
Reala : How dare you speak in such language like that! Now I'm really mad! I'll make you shut that mouth of yours, permanently!
Elliot Edwards : You just had to say that to him, didn't you?
Claris Sinclair : Nice going, Meister! You nearly blew it!
Nights : Thanks a lot, Maka! You just had to piss him off like that!
Maka Albarn : Oh. M...My bad.
Reala : If hating witches was a sin against the forces of nature, then you referring to them mages! They are called Mages and not witches! Humans like you are nothing but trash! Shinra made you this way to think they are the enemies! But you are wrong! You and Shinra's kind have gone too far! His son was only using you to destroy all heartless factions and the for monopolization of political power! You think you are Shinra's only heroes to protect his legacy? You think that Shinra's kind is a great influence to your courage!? Fool! You don't know what Shinra is! Perhaps this will teach you the meanings of a hero's story! Shoving the lies in our faces! Hiding the truth to keep everything in secrecy! All of that was not funny! I saw the eyes of truth and truth told me everything that is true and not the lies that are false! True or false, Maka Albarn. True or false!
Nights : In your dreams, Reala! You'll see Maka will save Real World AU because the she's the hero of everyone's story! Even some things that are true or false, that's what she'll ever decided whether she's working under the influence of Shinra or else!
Reala : Perhaps that you underestimated of her of being Soul World's premising hero of the story. But now her story will might come to an end...in a conclusion so that the Ohkuboverse shall cease from the Real World forever!
Nights : Have at it, Reala! Now's our chance!
Maka Albarn : Yeah! Let's go!
Nights & Maka : [in unison] DREAM RESONATCE! DREAMY KICK!
Reala : Dream what?!
*DBZ SFX : STRONG KICK X3*
Reala : GUAAAAGGGGHHHH!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! *DBZ SFX : Loud Explosion*
[Peaceful Moment - Tomoko Sasaki]
Nights : Looks like we overdid our courage a little. Hope reala's okay of being hurt.
Maka Albarn : Agree! But I'm sure he's fine by the way.
Reala : (groaning in pain) I'll...get you next time in 4 years, you hear me? FOUR...YEARS!
Nights : Yeah, we should do that before tennis.
Maka Albarn : So now that we defeated your rival, what are we gonna do now?
Wizeman : Ahh, Nights. It's time that I would like to have a word with you.
[Pia Over - Tomoko Sasaki, Fumie Kumatani]
Nights : Hey, what the-?! Wizeman! Why you- *teleports away*
Maka Albarn : No! Nights! Come back! Oh what I am going to do? I gotta get to Twins seeds, the hometown of Elliot and Claris! I bet there's someone will might help me.
*Heartbeat Echoing*
Maka Albarn : Yeah, that's it. I can find someone that will show the Real World my courage, I destined to have a world that I don't want any part of! A story that will make the hero stand tall for battle and be the legend of his or her tale. Two heroes that are a duo or a pair, a pair of of two heroes that would be part of the story. Hero or Villain, Good or Evil, Light or darkness, those are the decisions of one's story will prevail to the next and the other will proceed to end a tale.
*Heartbeat Echoing*
Maka Albarn : Ideya of Courage...I want...I want someone that will call my plea for help! I want someone that will be there for me! My one and only sister...Moirai Albarn!
Amaterasu/First Pillar : Congratulations hero. Looks like you finally know who you really are, a girl who is desperate to save a planet. You're lucky that have a story of your own in the real world. Guess Shinra's new world was just too much for you. But at lease, you made me very proud of you. Shinra's story may have reached the end, but your story will be concluded in the next few years. So what are you waiting for? Go save Real World, I'll be watching you by humanity's side. Isn't that right, Shinra-Kun?
(IBLIS ROARS)
~ Prologue 19 : Dreams of the Truth ~
#sonic the hedgehog#nights into dreams#nights journey of dreams#soul eater#fire force#sega#sonic team#square enix#crossover#drama#dark comedy#horror#mystery#thriller#supernatural#fantasy#dark fantasy#science fiction#action#adventure#romance#psychology
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Gourmet rural fare in the land of beans on toast …
Plunger associate Kelly Bayfield, David Edward Booth and (now, after this year’s belated first viewing) Honey & The Bear with the wide-open, big sky, sun-kissed (at least when we’ve been there) rural expanse of distant Suffolk. So it was a welcome surprise chancing across Honey & The Bear’s forthcoming appearance (with Kelly & Dave) at Barking Folk Festival just a tube ride away from us.
Bounded by the North Circular, the A13 and the C2C line to Southend, Barking Abbey Grounds seemingly couldn’t be more different to Easton Farm Park but the organisers and crew had done a good job of creating a friendly atmosphere (even the security guy on the gate complimented us on our ‘bag search’ etiquette) and with the main stage flanked by trees and backed by St Margaret’s Church tower it was a pretty rustic setting for East London (if you kept your back to the tower blocks).
Sadly the weather couldn’t have been less dry-and-dusty Suffolk: leaden skies and alternating rain and drizzle dogged us on the walk from the train through the Abbey ruins and churchyard to the festival (leaving the slushy sellers and ‘water point’ bowsers looking a bit forlorn and surplus to requirements, this year at least!) The wet weather didn’t stop a few hardy souls from standing (or even sitting on the corporation deck chairs) in front of the main stage as Jack Valero came on, although most had parked themselves on straw bales under the partial cover of some awnings.
Jack and his band took a little while to warm up and hit their groove, but were on song by Heaven Help Me Now (“Every songwriter must have a lockdown song, this is mine…”) with fine harmonies, and the breezy bustling Coming Home. There were hints of 50s poppy rock’n’roll in a Buddy holly vein in the upbeat Something You Can Do and also (combined with a splash of Buzzcocksy punk) in the surprisingly positive optimistic This Is A Nightmare with tub-thumping toms, brisk acoustic strumming, and some twangsome electric guitar. After noting his familial connections to the area (and his father’s in particular) Jack’s last song, played at the request of his dad, was a solo rendition of Billy Bragg’s New England… at which point pretty much all of us went, “Oh, so THAT’s who his dad is!”
Plunger’s faith in miracles was bolstered by the simultaneous discovery of where the bar was, and the rain stopping, just as Honey & The Bear (Jon and Lucy Hart on guitar and upright bass - most of the time at least, with Kelly on harmony vocals and David on drums) did their soundcheck, the latter event drawing a few more folks out from under cover.
Their set opened with The Miller, combining loping bass, rustic acoustic guitar (including a dextrous solo) and a Featy drum shuffle with sublime three part harmonies for a TTB-ish vibe. An appropriately mellower feel came in the Laurel-Canyon-Ronstadt-meets-English-folk air of Sweet Honey with its traditional-sounding melody. Back to back covers saw an entrancing (if abridged) rendition of Helplessly Hoping, where (it seemed to Plunger) Jon took on the Stills role, Lucy Crosby and Kelly Nash in the stunning harmonies. Jon switched to an electric guitar for a punchy 70s west coast run at Gillian Welch’s Look At Miss Ohio.
Returning to their own accomplished originals, the hypnotic Riverman featured aptly fluid, restless picking on acoustic, rafter-shaking bass punctuation and tom-led drums for an almost Native American feel: piquant harmonies in the verse alternated with gentler, C&N tones in the chorus. One of Lucy’s older songs took us to a whole other sonic landscape - having swapped bass and guitar roles for this one number - the Waitsesque, Hot Club De Paris, 30s-cabaret bounce of Why Am I Always Saying Sorry also featured some manic whistling from Lucy.
After one of the crew popped his head round the back of the stage to advise “This’ll have to be your last one” (which Plunger for one thought was rather premature) the set closed with Wristburner: clever changes and less-obvious harmonies, tricksy timings, and a frenetic Gordon Giltrap-doing-Gerdundula urgency, topped with more fabulous harmonies.
Although we were naturally disappointed we couldn’t hear more, and a little suspicious when the MC announced shortly after, “Since we’re running ahead of schedule...” there were to be an extra 10 minutes of the (to Plunger’s ears, but de gustibus etc.) execrable-but-unaccountably-popular next artist, this brief but very tasty performance more than justified the slightly nervy tube ride and the rain-dodging, and gave us an appetite for more!
Honey & The Bear have a new album due out in November, with a short tour to promote it, details, dates ad merch here: https://honeyandthebear.co.uk
#honey & the bear#kelly bayfield#david booth#suffolksfinest#suffolkiana#americana#amerifolkana#barking folk festival#barking and dagenham
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Notes on the New Bev Horror a thon 2022
Once again, one of my favorite times of the year has arrived. Where I go into a theatre for 12 hours and coming out full of mirth and spookiness.
For the first time since COVID, the full six mystery horror films are back. It is a dizzying high.
But there is also a variant; instead of the usual 7pm-7am schedule, this year it was 2pm to 2am.
I personally loved this change. I could go and eat at a diner and talk the films with my friends and not feel half dead.
-/-/-/——//-/-
The films were
1-Nightmare Beach (Umberto Kenzi, 1989)
2-The People who Own the Dark (Leon Klimovsky, 1976)
3-The Black Scorpion (Edward Ludwig, 1957)
4-I, Madman (Tibor Takacs 1989)
5-Hell of the Living Dead (Bruno Mattei, 1980)
6-Sorority Row (Stewart Handler, 2009)
-/-//—/
Of course there is a different vibe to watching these all in a row (with no idea what the film is before it unspools) then watching them individually
“Nightmare Beach”, for example, has a largely silent intro (with no film company credits) that bursts into a totally jarring girl power song. It had us all in disbelief, and was a great way to start the night.
“Sorority Row” now has the title of most recent film to be included (beating by one year last marathon’s excellent “Ruins” from 2008), and it was beyond strange to see trailers for 2000 remakes after all the 70s/80s grind house goodness.
Even the co presenter Phil noted “There is some discussion over this film. I’ll just say..it’s good!” (I agree)
-/-/—-
One of the great moments was when this trailer had praise for the film from Tobe Hooper ... but pronounced his name wrong!
There was a wave of disbelieving laughter, then a lusty smattering of boos (and a few “Fuck you!”’s)
—-/-//-/—-
I really enjoyed “people who own the dark”. It was creepy and unnerving, and had scenes where I had no idea where it was going.
Spanish horror through and through
-/-/—-
In truth, “Nightmare Beach” and it were the two strongest films (to my palette) and the high point of the evening.
[The rest were mostly fine, but these two I will revisit and easily recommend]
Which was extra funny because, since the earlier start time, an associate of mine missed them both.
Oh well, so it goes.
-/-/-/—-
“Black scorpion” was marvelous in that it contained Willis O’Brien stop motion, and had a fun lead from the human villain of “Creature from the black lagoon”.
Something about watching that stop motion in dream flurry after two other films really made it stood out
-/-/-/—
“I, Madman”...is a film about what is reality and what is fiction.
I always respect these kind of films more than I actually like them. “Wes Craven’s New Nightmare” also is like this to me, I just can’t absorb it, and it keeps me at a distance.
It’s clearly well made but passed through me with no effect
-/-/—-
“Hell of the living dead” had two purposes to me
The first to underline how fucking awesome “Dawn of the Dead” is.
Because this had a similar premise, even the same Goblin score, but had none of the impact to me.
The second was to make me grateful the marathon was not overnight, because I still fell asleep at times during this film. It just largely bored me.
Maybe it was the dubbing, because so much situational dialogue repeated in a super irritating way, with no personality.
-/——-/
Honestly, if it was four film marathon, “madman” and “hell” would have been cut by me.
Others like them though, so I recognize my taste is my own.
-/-/-
“Sorority Row” ended the night strong. The programmers have a thing for slashers and this one really held up. It was notable how it was the extras (not the meads) showing all the boobs though.
-/-/—
As I left, I received a pin saying “I survived”
Despite some sleepy points, the experience was truly special. It had laughter with friends I’ve now known from that theatre for years and delicious food snacks (one of the regulars had their girlfriend make us all sourdough pesto grilled cheese, which was fucking delightful and really need 2/3s of the way through)
No film, let alone six, are all high points, and to go on this wild boat ride with ups and downs was something I look forward to every year for a reason, it’s just a blast.
#new bev#horror a thon#nightmare beach#the people who own the dark#black scorpion#i madman#hell of the living dead#sorority row#film#new beverly cinema
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hi! I recently read "Safe landing" again, and I was wondering if you have any specific ideas with these two parts "“Everything is going well?” He asked, doing his absolute best not to slip into his 'clinical' tone" and "The time I sported a fake mustache in the '70's." this would be so much fun to read and imagine.
The story in question.
Oh boy Anon do I have specific ideas!
First off, thank you so much for reading and asking about my story!! ‘safe landing’ is one of those stories I was terrified to post because it felt so full of my own ideas and then surprisingly other people read it and went ‘neat!’ Which is always shocking and humbling.
“Safe landing” in particular has a lot of hidden easter eggs, some of them are to things I just know happened, some are to stories I’ve written, most are wacky little ideas I have but have never written. They’re there because ‘safe landing’ looks at a couple of eighty-six years doing a dance they’ve done before to a different song. When you’re dealing with a relationship, of any sort, with that sheer amount of time there’s going to be history and well-worn elements. (Hell, my grandparents who have been married for fifty-four years still ‘fight’ about who stood the other up on their first date).
I’m going to nickname the two easter eggs you asked about as “The Mustache” and “The Clinician.”
Mustache:
“Name one thing I haven’t fully processed.”
“Edward, in general. Rosalie’s change. Your suicide attempt. My suicide attempt. Edward’s suicide attempt. Edward leaving. The first time. The second time. The third time. Any of your slips. The time I sported a fake mustache in the ‘70’s.”
I think the idea of Carlisle with a fake mustache first originated here and I just sort of ran with it. It makes complete sense. There was an astounding amount of mustaches in the 70’s. It would make him look older. It would help him blend in. Why not try a little face toupee?
Carlisle had only seen his physical appearance change slightly over the centuries and he loved this change. He’s been trying to be older than twenty-three for a really long time and now he looks a solid twenty-five!
In short, Carlisle was a huge fan. Others were not.
Esme hated it, absolutely loathed this thing. She tried to burn it a half dozen times and he just kept getting new ones. But she saw how happy it made him so she kept her complaints under a humorous veil. “I won’t kiss you with that rat on your lip.” “You look like you make those films they sell at the corner stone, but not one of the good ones.” “I’m going to leave you for a man who can afford a razor.”
The mustache lasted for a solid year until Carlisle was flipping through one of Esme’s sketchbooks and landed on a spread of dozens of sketches of a blonde man with a mustache, at first glance the man shared a striking resemblance to himself. “Study of a husband,” scrawled on the bottom corner of the page.
He almost boasted about how this was proof she did like the mustache until his eyes landed on the date under the description. April 4, 1921. Decades before he bought the hairpiece, months before they were married, weeks before they even started courting. He is not the husband she drew.
They never actually talked about it but the mustaches went in the garbage that very day.
So while it’s posed as a joke in ‘safe landing’ it is slightly not a joke at the same time. Esme hadn’t processed that, hadn’t dared even bring it up in fear of stepping on her husband’s toes, and Carlisle knows that and calls her out for it decades later which is how their relationship works.
Her response was “Well, that was just traumatic.” Which isn’t giving him confidence she even realizes he knows; and she doesn’t even realize why she hates it so much but he does and so it remains something unspoken and unprocessed between them.
(Carlisle’s vibes in the seventies).
Clinician.
“Everything is going well?” He asked, doing his absolute best not to slip into his ‘clinical’ tone. The tone that got him a screamed ‘Jesus H. Christ! I’m not some case study, Doctor!’ Or worse, a repeat of the ‘How does that make you feel?’ incident of ‘78.
Now before we talk about this line we need a rudimentary understanding of American Politics & Society during the late seventies into the eighties. This is when we really see the peak, and end, of second wave feminism. The materialist feminism movement gains mainstream traction, and we get 9 to 5, powersuits, and the term ‘glass ceiling.’
Now I have a lot of thoughts about the Cullens and American Politics but that’s not this post. But it’s safe to say this is going to play a critical role in Esme’s life.
In the Cullen house during the late seventies into the eighties Alice and Jasper are now both confident enough to venture into public. Rosalie is off in medical school, Emmett follows and is doing a puppetry degree. Edward couldn’t let Rosalie show him up so he is also off at medical school. For the first time in many decades Esme is home alone.
At this point she has sold houses and art, always under a male pseudonym and never for what they’re worth. One of her pseudonyms has a cult following but she’ll never capitalize on it, she doesn’t think she deserves it. Her houses gained recognition in the height of the "mid-century" / the 50's. She had the connections with both designers and affluent society but she refused to give up the pseudonym, and knew if she did it would ruin everything, but the pseudonym could only go so far. So her houses were rarities and coveted as a gem from an unknown designer. She’s earned two college degrees, speaks eight languages fluently, and has four dozen hobbies. But she doesn’t consider anything a ‘career.’ She’s been a housewife for decades, partly for her own good, and largely because it was the part her family needed her to play. But now, well now it wouldn’t be obscene for a doctor’s wife to be a lady who does more than lunch.
But it’s not that easy. Esme has been playing this role for a long time. It’s not going to be easy for her to quickly identify what element of her life she’s unhappy with and change it. Instead quiet resentment builds, and as I think ‘safe landing’ really illustrates Esme neglects her own feelings. She believes an object that stays in motion stays in motion, a person who keeps moving will stay happy. So she doesn’t acknowledge her feelings and instead tries to bury them down and things just grow. (I have a theory about Esme’s mental health here).
Plus, while Esme does not embrace all the traditional roles of her time (ie. with the timeline and backstory Meyer gave us she was a single working mom with a child out of wedlock before she could vote) she does care about being a good wife to Carlisle. In the early years being a good wife to him was an act of resistance. It was the one thing she could never do right for Charles and maybe she didn’t want to, but she’d be damned if she didn’t try her hardest to give Carlisle the life he deserved. She can still hear her mother’s voice clear as day, coaching her on all the ways she is responsible for her husband’s happiness. So she doesn’t say a word about that little hope that started to bloom for the first time in years.
Now, where does the line “...Doing his absolute best not to slip into his ‘clinical’ tone. The tone that got him a screamed ‘Jesus H. Christ! I’m not some case study, Doctor!’ Or worse, a repeat of the ‘How does that make you feel?’ incident of ‘78.”” come in?
Well, Carlisle notices the discontentment. He can tell she’s hiding something, his guess is memories are resurfacing and she’s attempting to power through like she does. He sees an opportunity, he really wants to be in medical school with Rosalie and Edward, and figures school would be good for her too, and plus women can go to grad school now. So they go back to school.
However, this time Carlisle doesn’t go back for emergency medicine or general surgery. He wants to give Rosalie and Edward their space, while still learning himself. And he sees a perfect option in a study that he’s both professionally and personally interested in. Psychology.
Carlisle has always been a curious guy, a nerd we could say, he turned into an immortal creature and immediately thought of all the things he could learn. So in the past century he’s watched the rise of psychatriary, he’s read a few journals, he’s watched how over the years it’s gone from absolute babble to the mind being responsible for the body’s health.
But that’s not all.
I’ve said it before I’ll say it a hundred more times Carlisle saw Esme Platt as a victim first and foremost. From the moment he found the happy, inappropriate, spirited girl dead in a morgue, and then learned she did it herself, he was dead-set on fixing things. That is an undertone of their relationship that I think matures into something more meaningful and realistic but I don’t think ever goes away.
When they first got married he was completely and utterly unprepared to deal with the sheer amount of trauma and history that is the 'Charles Evenson issue.' He couldn't prescribe a treatment plan and fix things. Esme didn't seem to want him to fix things. He was utterly helpless, a feeling he loathes.
All these years later he still hasn't fixed the issue and maybe an academic understanding of the brain and how it works will help him fix his wife! Now we all know that sounds like a bad plan, and part of Carlisle does too which is why he doesn’t tell his wife his precise area of study.
So they continue on. Esme gets a fellowship shockingly quick, her professors pick up on what’s crystal clear talent and a wealth of knowledge. She’s doing really well professionally, but her family falls on the back burner just a touch. She feels so incredibly guilty for neglecting them, for succeeding in work, and for having almost everything she ever wanted and still the memories are flooding in and she’s still feeling discontent.
She doesn’t say anything because how ungrateful can she be? But Carlisle notices, he’s been working in clinics, he’s been doing research, he knows the signs and so like a good scientist he starts tracking data. He starts by writing down everything he knows about how she reacts when triggered. Then he isolates variables, he studies different stories she has told him. This man has so much research he could write a doctoral thesis on his wife’s trauma.
The good news is he does learn a few helpful coping techniques, and how to guide someone through tough conversations. Bad news, he had books worth of notes studying his partner without her consent. One day Esme does reveal something, something pretty darn major that she told herself she would never told another soul but a man slipping his hand down her back and calling her “Toots” made her cave. Carlisle responds with “how did that make you feel?”
She does not respond well to that question because she is not his patient, and he is not her physician, he’s her husband and that is their established relationship, not a cold detached “how did that make you feel?"
He recovers from it well but she’s still a little on edge. A few weeks later she’s cleaning his office as an “I’m sorry for being curt with you these last few weeks I know you were only trying to help.” She stumbles upon an open notebook on his desk, and she automatically reads it as she picks it up, just to know where it goes. Staring back at her is the story she told him a few short weeks earlier. “Responded poorly to questioning. Positively reacted to assurance, in line with known personality. Will revisit.” She doesn’t know what she’s looking at but it’s about her so she feels she’s allowed to flip through it.
More and more and more notes about her are written down in clinical detail. She’s not sure what she feels but she needs to look through the others because the book in her hands only dates back to ‘62. She finds eight more books. She’s halfway through Book 2 of 3 of 1921 when Carlisle gets home.
She’s still not sure what she feels except she would rather be married to anyone else at that precise moment. Carlisle realizes she’s mad, he doesn’t realize why she would be mad about this at first. He was being a good husband, he was trying to make sure he never made a mistake. He was just trying to be a good husband (see ‘Carlisle’s abandonment issues and insecurities). He’s trying to explain this, he’s frantic because he’s seen that look in someone’s eyes before and it ended in the worst four years of his life. Esme is indifferent.
She shuts down when she’s overwhelmed by emotions, situations, environments, whatever. She becomes completely shut off. Her tone is the clinical one. She is the one with sharp questions in a pragmatic tone.
The conversation escalates, Esme launches accusations that cut Carlisle to the bone. She calls him out for nearly every single time he has mishandled the Charles situation, but it’s in a voice that makes it sound like she’s completely done with this marriage, with Carlisle, like this is all just a conversation.
Carlisle gets nervous and starts defending himself by launching accusations back at her. He vents about how she never tells him anything, how she runs to Rosalie or Edward, how he has to write it down and study because she won’t let him be a good husband. How maybe this whole going to work thing is their problem, maybe she needs time to herself, this is too much stress. She wants him to fail, she is so afraid of someone loving her she can’t let him help her. She doesn’t love him. Well the cold facade crumbles right about then and she realizes what she feels is anger, a book clatters to the ground, “Jesus H. Christ! I’m not some case study, Doctor!”
It’s their third to fifth biggest fight depending on who you ask. It takes a really long time for them to rectify things they said during it. They make small changes, they make big changes. Esme puts her foot down that working is one of the first things that has made her feel alive in years and he will have to deal with it, he’s the one who helped build her confidence he’s going to get with the program or leave the theater. He gladly will, as long as sharing and communication comes with it. She agrees, they start researching communication techniques as a couple, not as a therapist. Carlisle returns to emergency medicine for everyone's benefit, but shockingly mostly his own.
This fight is a big turning point and gives us what we see in 'safe landing.' Carlisle points out his concerns as someone who loves her, who knows she's not 'fixable', who needs her to be okay for him to be okay. She listens and compromises, she doesn't share freely but she's comfortable enough to not freeze, to stop him when he goes too far, and to slow down and just sit with him, the rest will come later.
Thank you so much for asking!
#thank you so much for asking!!! 💖💖💖#carlisle cullen#esme cullen#analysis#this is so so long i'm so sorry#my stories
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Dorcas Meadows headcanons
Ravenclaw
She/They pronouns (demigirl)
Has vitiligo
Cottagecore lesbian. Has created an entire mini garden on the window sill of her dorm room, and even has a small plot to herself in the Herbology greenhouses, given to her by Professor Sprout. The two of them get along very well.
Dyes her hair bright colours
Plays an obscure instrument like the lyre
Fairy lights everywhere
Pet bowtruckle because everyone needs a bowtruckle living in their pocket. I also get the vibe that they’d have a hedgehog.
So. Much. Jewellery. Necklaces and bracelets and rings and earrings and yes they make their own earrings. Catch them walking around with tiny little toadstools or chess pieces hanging from their ears.
✨Flower crowns✨
Wishes on a ladybird and dandelion clocks and penny spiders.
Kill an insect and Dorcas will kick your arse. She’ll see a bug on her windowsill, give it a name and then set it free.
You’ve heard of Gilderoy the Mouse Prince. Now get ready for: Dorcas the Mouse Queen. She will play innocent if you ask why her coat pocket is squeaking. “Dorcas. Are you hiding another field mouse in your coast again?” “...No...” *tiny mouse pops its head out* “Fine, his name’s Algernon, he likes strawberries and he’s my best friend.”
Marlene McKinnon headcanons
Fuck it, She/They pronouns as well.
Gryffindor
Goes through a punk phase with Sirius.
Organises the Gryffindor common room parties.
Different style hairstyle every year: long, short, mullet, Mohawk. Picture the most 70s hairstyles you can think of, Marlene had them all.
Leather jacket and pink poodle skirt, definitely a spiked choker and high top boots. More fishnets than even the author of My Immortal can handle.
Swears like a trooper, skips class to chainsmoke, but will literally have a meowing conversation with her cat.
Secretly loves Divination and has her own crystal ball.
You bet your arse she has tattoos, mainly on her arms and fingers. Lots of lyrics and stars and definitely a pentagram.
The Nirvana fan ten years before Nirvana even became a thing.
Has a herbal remedy for literally everything.
Dyslexic
Definitely a photographer. Permanently has a camera around her neck. Loves photographing her friends, her cat, and concerts. But her favourite muse is Dorcas.
Has a tongue piercing
Is fantastic at art
Great sense of humour, and is overly sarcastic
Secretly wants to be a Healer, but only Dorcas knows about this dream.
Dorlene headcanons
Marlene has a tattoo of a hedgehog in honour of Dorcas.
Dorcas is tiny compared to Marlene, so Marlene just picks her up and carries her around.
(Above: Actual footage of Dorcas running up to Marlene).
Marlene will literally duel anyone for Dorcas, and honestly, those people better watch the fuck out.
Dorcas introduces every one of her animals to Marlene and if any of the animals get sick or hurt, Marlene will stay up all night with Dorcas to look after it.
Marlene absolutely created mixtapes for Dorcas, and draws her loads of pictures and cartoons (and totally doodles love hearts around Dorcas’s name on her textbooks).
Dorcas makes jewellery and friendship bracelets for Marlene constantly. And Marlene wears every single one of them, until their whole arm is just covered in bracelets.
Marlene: “My soul is as black as my eyeliner.” Dorcas: “I made you a daisy chain! ☺️” Marlene: *internally melts*
Dorcas reads to Marlene and helps her study, even if it means staying up for hours and Marlene getting pissed off. Dorcas is there with biscuits and blankets and support.
Marlene makes Dorcas tea and reads her tea leaves, or reads her palms, or interprets her dreams, and they’re usually always good. Marlene even uses it to ask out Dorcas.
“According to your tea cup, you will go on a date with a hot punk girl who thinks you’re really cute.” “Eliza Edwards from Hufflepuff?” “... actually, your tea cup says you’re an idiot.”
Just try and stop these two from sitting on each other’s lap, blowing kisses from across the Great Hall, lying against each other under the big tree in the grounds, sneaking off to the astronomy tower to make out, holding hands in the corridor, kissing in between lessons.
They buy a tiny lil flat together and Dorcas has plants everywhere. And Marlene’s pictures are hung up all over the walls, and it’s perfect.
#dorlene#dorcas x marlene#harry potter#Harry Potter headcanons#dorlene headcanons#dorcas meadows#marlene mckinnon
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I love my baby to death
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: fluff, friends to lovers, tiniest bit of angst but really tiny I promise, 3.5k words, set after Endgame
Summary: “Say, hypothetically, there’s a 100 year old fossil who’s a bit confused most of the time but he’s got the spirit, right?, and he’s outside with a packed duffle bag, what would you do?”
You were supposed to enjoy a solo roadtrip after years of Avenging, but Bucky invites himself along and you can’t say no to his happy face.
A/N: I haven’t slept in a week because of nightmares and I just needed something to cheer me up, I guess. Reader took Steve’s side in CA:CW and spent two years with him as a nomad. You can choose to see her and Natasha as a platonic relationship or a romantic one, it’s up to you.
masterlist
Read the sequel to this here
“They’re just so fuckin’ gross I don’t understand how you can eat them.”
Bucky sends you his best death glare as he continues digging in his soggy cardboard In-N-Out fries.
“We could have literally stopped by Arby’s three miles west of here” you continue, “they have the best fries. We’re missing out, clearly.” you deadpan eyeing his food skeptically.
“The curly ones? God no, they’re so spicy. I don’t know why you like your food to hurt but I don’t.”
“Okay, first of all they’re not spicy at all, I don’t know where you got that from. And second, they have a taste at least, unlike these.” You reiterate your point by swinging one the fries in his face. Bucky just grabs your hand and bites the fry, almost biting your fingers off too.
“Yeah, like that god-awful spicy chicken you forced on me the other day? No thank you, ma’am, I’ll stand by my own food choices.”
You snort. “Not my fault your post-Depression ass can’t handle anything other than salt and black pepper. But sure, go ‘head and enjoy your sorry excuse of a meal, Buck.”
“People from your generation sure love complaining, huh? Back in my days you ate what your mama made you and never bitched about it, or else you went to bed hungry.”
God, he’s such a grampa. You make a show of rolling your eyes and huffing in annoyance. He likes his senior citizen card a bit too much. He tries to stifle a laugh when he sees the look on your face and just shakes his head at you.
California (and Bucky Barnes) has stolen your heart and you’ve loved this road trip so much you often wonder why it took you being snapped and facing the end of the world twice to retire from the avenging business.
Fresno is interesting, to say the least.
He wanted to stop by, saying something about wanting to see “an old pal from the war” ’s hometown for himself, and you’ve been dreaming about exploring Yosemite for as long as you can remember.
-
Online pictures of Yosemite National Park were stunning but the real thing is just breathtaking.
You never thought camping would become your thing and you never imagined you’d enjoy stargazing so much. In five months you’ve discovered how big of a nerd Bucky really is and he’s been trying to teach you the names of all the stars and constellations.
He sees Big Dipper, Orion, Ursa Major and Minor; you see pretty twinkling lights and the occasional shooting star. Nevertheless you sit through hours and hours of explanations, because when he speaks of the things he’s passionate about, Bucky is the most beautiful thing in the world.
“You know, the stars are one of the things I missed the most.” he says softy, furrowing his brows as he does when he remembers something from the past. “Stevie and I used to do that as kids sometimes. We’d sneak out of our houses and go on the roof of this abandoned building to watch the stars. Now there’s so much goddamn light everywhere, you can’t even see them anymore.”
Sometimes when you stop and think about it, really think, you can’t imagine how hard it must have been for them, having everything, even the night sky taken away from them.
“Steve never told me.”
“He probably missed the stars too.”
You eye him looking for clues on how he might feel, but you only see a sad smile on his face. “You miss him, don’t you?”
“Every damn day.” his voice cracks and you hold him closer.
“I know Buck, I miss him too. I miss him so much that sometimes I feel like my life has no direction without my Captain.” You’re barely holding back your own tears at this point, “But we’ve got Sam if we need orders, yes?” but you still try to make him smile. You’re always going to try for him.
Your attempt works and he snorts. Always bring Sam up to cheer Bucky.
“I hope he was happy, you know.” he says, “I hope he made the right choice and never regretted a thing. I hope that now he looks back and thinks he wouldn’t have had it any other way. His happiness is all I could ever ask for.”
You cling to each other that night and cry until the early morning. It feels good to let it all out, to let Steve go and look at the future. You’ve lost too much but tonight you only have hope.
-----
New York
Five months before
“Words on the street is you’re retiring your crusty old ass from the field.”
Sam is leaning on the door of your hotel room with his arms folded and a pleased look on his face.
“Rumors travel fast in this post-apocalyptic word, I see.” you say as you continue stuffing a duffle bag with all the clothes you have left.
“How are you?” Sam asks, with his newly found Captain voice. You wonder if it’s something in that damn shield that gives them that stern commanding tone.
“Tryina analize me, Sammy? I’m not one of your guys at the VA.”
It’s not like you’re pissed at Sam, you love him with all your heart, you’re just angry at the world and Sam’s the one standing in your way right now.
You hear him sigh, “I know what you’re feeling right now, I understand why you would think that-” “Don’t” you interrupt him, “Don’t give me that speech, Fury did that for you already. I’m not running away from my problems.”
“I’m not saying that-” you really don’t want him to talk today, so you stop him again “No but you’re thinking it.”
“I know what it’s like.” he says raising his voice “To lose who you care the most in the world. We all lost someone important but you lost Natasha and I know, trust me I know what you feel right now, because it’s what I felt when I lost Riley.”
You stop and swallow the tight lump in your throat.
Your eyes well up with tears as you turn to look at him. You’ve been so blinded by your own pain and anger you didn’t stop for a moment to think about others. “I’m sorry Sam, I shouldn’t have treated you like that.” you say sobbing.
Why did she have to leave you?
Stupid, stupid Natasha. Why did she have to sacrifice herself for the world?
Why her?
He hugs you tight and rocks you back and forth. “I understand why you’re leaving and I’m not here to stop you, I promise. Just keep in touch, yes? Text me everyday so I’m not tempted to track you down and fly wherever you are to see if you’re good.”
You smile for the first time in a long time.
“Don’t worry Sam, you’ll get tired of all the selfies I’ll send you, eventually.”
“You know I’ll never get tired of this pretty face.” he says raising his eyebrows suggestively, making you laugh. “Good, that’s my girl. I missed this laugh so much.”
You stay in his arms a while longer until it’s time for you to leave.
“This is not the only reason I’m here.” he says and clears his throat, “Say, hypothetically, there’s a 100 year old fossil who’s a bit confused most of the time but he’s got the spirit, right?, and he’s outside with a packed duffle bag, what would you do?”
“What?” you manage to stammer out. “Bucky just... wants to...tag along?”
You are now as confused as Bucky is most of the time.
Sam shrugs. “I guess? You know he’s weird like that.”
What he really means is he’s just like you, lost and confused and in desperate need to live a little, but he doesn’t say it out loud. There’s no need to.
“So, would you mind if he came too?”
You see Bucky standing outside, leaning on your SUV. He’s cut his hair short and he looks hotter than you would like to. He turns around and waves at you with a big smile on his face. Like Sam often says, you too like his energy.
“No, I wouldn’t mind at all.”
----
Denver, Colorado
It’s a long way from New York to Colorado and if you’re honest, you’ve loved every minute of it and you’re glad Bucky came along with you. He’s witty, laid back, snarky, smart and overall a fun guy for someone who was a prisoner to nazis for 70 years.
“Look all I’m saying is I think Edward is a fuckin’ creep. Would you like it if someone stood in your room and looked at you while you sleep?”
“But is that someone a hot vampire, Bucky?”
“It literally doesn’t even matter.”
“Stop saying literally Buck, you’re a 100 year old man, not a valley girl.”
-
“Are we there yet?”
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Lemme check a map.”
“Bucky it’s on the screen there, Google says we have 20 minutes left.”
“But can we trust this Google guy?”
-
“All I’m saying is if you made and enjoyed congealed salads you probably don’t deserve your right to vote for the future of this country.”
“I mean...fair enough?”
-
“Do we count blipped years or not?”
“At this point it, it barely makes a difference in my case, doll.”
“Honestly you’ve got a point, old man.”
-
“How are you so calm right now?”
“My standards are so low it’s practically impossible to piss me off.”
“But you aren’t even a little bothered?”
“Chill, it’s just a flat tire, it’s gonna take 10 minutes to fix.”
“Buck we talked about the things that are unacceptable. ‘Chill’ coming out of your mouth is one of those.”
It’s your second week in Denver already, and you’re having the time of your life.
Bucky is spooning you like he usually does. You think back to the first time you’ve shared a bed and you almost giggle at the memory.
“Uh, Buck?”
“Yes?”
“We might have a problem.”
He enters the room after you and his eyes widen when he sees it.
There’s a bed in the room.
A single bed.
You weren’t expecting much from this place that gives you ‘Bates Motel’ vibes, but you thought you’d have two beds, or at least a couch.
“I’ll just sleep on the floor, don’t worry about it.”
“What?” you shriek “Absolutely not, I’m not letting you suffer all night. We’re going to share.”
“But I-”
“No buts, you know how many times I slept with Steve? I’m used to you supersoldier men by now, I’m no longer affected by your kicks.”
He stays silent. “You and Steve used to…?”
Only then you realize you could have phrased it better.
“God no, I meant just, ya know, share bed.”
He smiles and nods. Why does he look relieved?
Now he clings to you every night, and most times he’s the little spoon because he likes to be held. You used to hate sleeping tangled with someone else until you woke up on top of Bucky, his hands caressing your back, and he told you he had the best night of sleep he’s had in decades.
There’s a lot of things you do just because they make him happy, actually.
But how could you not?
There’s no point in denying your feelings.
----
Salt Lake City, Utah
God, you love Utah.
You drive through immense stretches of red desert whilst Bucky blasts Nicki Minaj like his life depends on it; that’s how it always ends up when he rides shotgun.
He insisted on visiting Monument Valley despite it being out of your way, but you can never find it in yourself to refuse him anything, so you drove 9 hours straight from Denver to the southern border of Utah just so he could see a place that looks a lot like the ones in those Western cowboy movies from the 50s and 60s he loves so much.
“Yasha would have hated it here so much.” you say as you pull over the Airbnb you’ve rented for a couple of days in Salt Lake City.
He snorts, “Yeah, I bet she would have.”
You thought time would heal all wounds and that someday you might stop feeling the void in your life when you think of her, but now you know you’ll never stop hurting. She was such a big part of your life for so long that your heart will never stop aching for her.
Sometimes you think how she never got to see you again after you were snapped.
You wonder if she ever stopped missing you.
You know you’ll never not miss her.
-
You’ve driven for more than humanly possible in two days, but he’s a supersoldier and you’re really stubborn, and now you can’t wait to sleep in a nice bed for the first time in a long while. Usually you just make do with motels, but tonight you wanted to treat yourselves.
You enter the place and notice immediately the two queen size beds.
You should be relieved, and if it was 4 months ago when you first shared a bed you would probably be, but now you’re so used to his warm body next to yours, his flesh arm over you and his face resting in the crook of your neck that you don’t know if you’ll ever be able to fall asleep without him.
“I’ll go shower first if you don’t mind.” you say as you mentally berate yourself for your thoughts.
Your goal to not fall in love with Bucky Barnes flew out the window somewhere in the green fields of Western Iowa, but at this point you’re just treading a dangerous path and you know you’re going to get hurt.
There’s no way Bucky feels the same about you, right?
You get out the shower, put on a t-shirt you’ve stolen from Steve ages ago and get out of the bathroom, only to stop when you see Bucky on the bed you claimed as yours.
“Sorry, I hope you don’t mind but I feel better when I sleep with you.”
Maybe he does.
----
Nevada
Technically it takes roughly 43 hours to get from New York to Sacramento by car. It took you almost five months.
You’ve been covering Interstate 80, stopping and visiting towns, cities and parks along the way as you pleased, sleeping in seedy motels, your SUV or that fancy ass tent Bucky bought somewhere in Ohio. You’ve begged Bucky to drive from Salt Lake City straight to Sacramento, stopping only when it’s absolutely necessary; you’ll be visiting Nevada after California anyways, so for now you’re just enjoying the scenic drive, with the windows rolled down and the air messing up your hair.
“What’s that song called?” Bucky asks and raises the radio’s volume.
“That’s Dani California by Red Hot Chili Peppers.” you answer absentmindedly, distracted by the seemingly endless stretch of black asphalt and yellowish nothingness around it.
She’s lover, baby and a fighter
Shoulda seen it coming when I got a little brighter
Bucky sings along and smiles glancing your way.
“I like this.” he exclaims when the song ends “Can we listen to it again, please?”
You smile softly and play it again. If there’s one thing Bucky is capable of is listening to the same song on repeat multiple times until you’re so sick of it you don’t ever want to hear it again.
Who knew the other side of you
Who knew what others died to prove
You never thought Bucky would be like this, or that you’d be privileged enought to see this side of him.
There’s a big smile on his face and the orange hues of the sky reflect in his clear eyes. He’s got one hand on the steering wheel and the vibranium one resting on the car’s door and he looks so different from the man haunted by his past and loneliness you met in Budapest all those years ago. He looks so carefree and relaxed now, so happy.
You are proud of him.
California rest in peace
Simultaneous release
California show your teeth
She’s my priestess and I’m your priest
I love my baby to death
------
San Diego, California
You’ve hiked the hills of southern Cali and gone parapending in Torrey Pines. You landed on a breathtaking beach with beautiful dark sand and soon found out, much to Bucky’s dismay and utter disgust, that it was a nudist beach.
He grumbled something about ‘hygiene’ and ‘decor’ and you just laughed at his flustered state.
“First time seeing a naked woman, old man?” you asked in between fits of laughter.
You didn’t notice the sea lion swimming next to you in La Jolla and not even Thanos’ creepy gang could have scared you as much when you turned around and looked him dead in the eyes. Bucky got his revenge filming you as you shot out the ocean with a shrill, covered in algae and terrified.
You are loving the San Diego area so far. Minus the sea lions.
“Hey I- uh- do you mind if I take the car? I wanted to go do some shopping.” Bucky tells you.
He’s really embarrassed for some reason.
You shrug and mumble a ‘sure’ before going back to basking in the sun by the pool of the hotel you’re staying at.
“Okay, I-I guess I’ll g-go then, I’ll come pick you up at 5.30 for dinner.” he stutters out.
Weird, you think, but you don’t give it too much thought. Bucky is like that.
-
Dinner time rolls around and as promised Bucky comes pick you up on time.
You’re wearing a short green dress with white daisies printed on it and a pair of strappy white sandals. You look good and you know it; Bucky knows it too, judging from the glances he tries to sneak your way.
“So, uhm-” he clears his voice, “I know it’s going to sound weird but I promise it’s not. Can I- Can I blindfold you?”
Can he...what? You could split me in half and I’d be glad about it, you’d like to say.
“Kinky. You could at least buy me differ first, tho.” you settle for something safer instead.
He blushes three shades darker than his usual color and you take the black scarf he’s handing you, barely concealing a teasing smile.
He drives around for a while. When you get to your destination the first thing you hear is the waves beating on the shore and the smell of the ocean. He helps you get out and guides you somewhere.
“Wait here.”
You hear him park the car in reverse, open the trunk and fiddle with something. He comes up behind you and removes the blindfold. You feel his hot breath on your neck and it sends tingles down your spine straight to your pu- “You can look now.”
When you open your eyes you are stunned for a moment. You turn around with a big smile that turns even bigger when you notice the blankets and the little picnic he’s assembled in the trunk.
“Buck, this is- I can’t believe you remembered.”
Somewhere in Colorado you mentioned how romantic you thought Sunset Cliffs were, and how much you wished you could do something like this. It was a fleeting moment, a thought uttered out loud absentmindedly over a couple of drinks in some bar. You were tipsy and you were running your mouth about all the things you’d want in a partner to some random girl who became your best friends for the night.
You realize you’re tearing up when his fingers grace your cheeks.
It feels nice to be cared about so much. It’s been too long since someone took such good care of you.
“I thought I’d do something special for you.” he says with an adorable blush.
“Thank you Bucky, I love this.” you hug him tightly and bury your face in his chest, inhaling his scent.
“Anything for my girl.”
“When did I become your girl, huh?” you ask teasingly.
“Probably when I invited myself on this trip.”
You both laugh at that.
You swallow hard when you see the look on his face. God, how did you miss the signs? You were always a better sniper than a spy, Yasha always told you.
Your heart is beating out of your chest in anticipation as he leans down slowly and your lips brush lightly. His hands are on your waist and yours on his broad shoulders. He kisses you timidly at first, and more passionately as he gains confidence.
“I wanted to do this since Bucharest.” he confesses after your lips part.
“Took you long enough, Sarge.”
But it was worth the wait.
-
Tonight’s sunset will be burned in the back of your mind permanently.
You kiss and laugh some more, and feed eachother seedless grapes because they’re the only ones you eat. He’s brought strawberries, white wine because you don’t drink red, hummus and pita and an assortment of cheese and crackers.
You kiss and talk, cuddle, laugh and kiss some more all night.
You’ve accepted long ago that you’ll never fill the gaping hole in your lives, but that night when you make love to eachother the void in your hearts that Steve and Natasha left behind doesn’t seem as encompassing as it usually is.
---
Thank you for reading! If you liked it, please reblog and comment, feedback is always appreciated 🥺🤲 might fuck around and write Bucky’s POV too.
#bucky x reader#bucky barnes#bucky x you#bucky imagine#bucky fanfic#marvel fanfiction#sebastian stan x reader#james buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#james barnes x reader#james barnes x you#james barnes x y/n
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svsss: binghe callout party + the system’s punishment
so much happened in these chapters oh my god. i can’t believe i’m on chap 74 of 81
tldr: sqq needs to stop procrastinating on his sexuality crisis, also yay for cqms protecting its own but oh no for binghe discovering the truth about his parents, also COOL system penalty. oh and fake internet drama my beloved
zzl my poor, poor boy. i hate that he killed gongyi xiao but :((( he’s trying so hard to be nice to sqq!!! sqq’s making it so hard for him!
it’s also really interesting how fixated on repaying debts/revenges he is. i know it’s demon culture being different from human culture but i am going hmm… neurodivergence momence….
tlj, completely unprompted, once again: huh, so sqq likes threesomes does he? very interesting…
sqq saying he trusts binghe <3
seems like sqq believes binghe will change. i also believe in him! though seeing what lbh’s been like, we’ll see how fast that change happens lol.
sqq also says later that most of the tension between him and lbh has been a misunderstanding, which… yeah that’s fair enough. but sqq is very much at fault for a lot of that misunderstanding! because he is (or used to be, at least) shit at communication! at least he’s been taking responsibility
always astounded by how much effort liu qingge goes through to rescue sqq, whether that’s just his body or his actual person. sqq is really just drowning in men who want to do things for him
sqh confessing everything and babbling at lqg <3 and oh my god he fought mobei-jun?
binghe: only two rooms thanks :3 i don’t have money for more :3
liu qingge: i’ll fucking kill you
i really do want to see the scene of lbh and lqg trying to share a room. i was hoping maybe they would do some enemies-to-friends bro bonding but it seems like it’s too early for that… grudges like that can’t be fixed in one night...
we’re almost at chapter 70 and sqq still thinks he’s straight.
funny that the system says it needs to save resources? that feels like a bad excuse. there’s never been a problem like that before… and doesn’t it make sense for the system to just have infinite resources? i’m very interested in this statement. maybe it’s just bluffing to make itself seem less powerful than it is / delay sqq’s gratification
the fact that it’s not giving him any new coolness points is probably a good thing, since he spends all of them a couple chapters later. maybe sqq will gain back all those he lost in a rush at the end of the month
SQQ IS SO EMOTIONAL ABOUT GETTING HIS FAN BACK I LOVE HIM
binghe serving him breakfast waaaa
as far as i recall, binghe’s the only one who’s been able to make the system give sqq prompts with multiple-choice answers. protagonist power! one more piece of evidence for the idea that lbh’s subconscious is what influences the system most
lqg kicking doors down is so normal that sqq doesn’t react
poor zzl for the dozenth time: gets used as a seat cushion :(
this entire next part is just Hurting Binghe Hours
this scene felt super mdzs. it’s like… stirring up a giant crowd against someone, with the intention of ruining their reputation? reminiscent of jinlan city too of course but that theme of reputation is so central to mdzs that it made me think. also the whole thing about lbh being a bastard/otherwise outside the cultivation world norm... hmm.....
“tianlang-jun is not my father. i don’t need a father.”
fucks me up…
lqg and yqy: *knocks ten angry cultivators away from sqq* oops my hand slipped
lbh ran away… bingqiu separated once more :(
ohhhhh my god the system penalty. i had totally forgot about the whole “sending him back to his original world” thing but i’m so glad it got brought up again. all the peak lords must be worried sick haha... hopefully he’ll wake up in his bed in qing jing peak or something later and it’ll all be ok
meeting og!lbh… god i got chills. that part was so good
i can’t help but notice he lost his right arm and left leg….. just like edward elric……
that’s such a good system punishment tbh like.. it’s not sending him back to HIS original world, but it’s sort of like sending him to sqq’s original world, for just a few minutes…
yay meng mo saved him!
not surprised at how bad shen jiu’s situation was. i will have to read more about it later!!
i’m so close to the end holy shit. i expect we’ll get some more bingqiu development soon but it’s so funny that sqq hasn’t even realized he’s not straight, let alone that he likes lbh! i guess this novel is really their getting-together story more than anything (we’ve got the extras for established relationship stuff) but i feel like there’s still so much left to resolve!
speaking of extras… there’s an extra chapter plopped right in the middle here? thanks mxtx lol
ok my take is: reading fake internet drama is so FUCKING funny
i do not know anything about chinese webnovel internet culture but this scene still rings so true to me… people on web forums just be like that huh
airplane is so excited about all the arguing sjkdhsjd
the fact that peerless cucumber is labeled an expert.
peerless cucumber up in here with his fantastic takes like “the monsters are so much more interesting than the endless wives” and “the only good bit is binghe’s arc”
the person who comments “cucumber bro wrote so many words just to hate on it, must be true love”
the person who comments “hey guys wanna read my bingqiu slash”
the handful of comments that are like “the romance between binghe and the women is terrible but the relationships he has with the male characters are emotional and moving” just go to solidify my “airplane is gay and knows jack shit about women” theory
again, araki jojo vibes
what a way to die, airplane
and he was thinking of sqq too! just like sqq was thinking about him when he died :) it’s fate!
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Hellooo! All the Song Rec questions with 3 please ✨
I guess you understood my not so subtle wish to answer everything so thank you haha 👀😅💕
PS : I don't always have a favorite so I often just chose something I really liked and tried not to put the same artist twice
1. Three songs with the same name
I couldn't find three 😬
Dreaming of you – The Coral
Dreaming of you – L'impératrice
2. A song for when you’re sad
Anyone – Demi Lovato
3. A song for when you’re happy
You Can Never Tell – Chuck Berry
4. The best song to dance to
Les démons de minuit – Image
5. The best song to drive to
Toxic – Britney Spears
6. The best song off your favorite album
Genius – LSD
7. The best song from any soundtrack
Seventeen - Lili Reinhart, Cole Sprouse, Vanessa Morgan, Madelaine Petsch (Riverdale Heathers musical episode)
8. A song for the morning and a song for the night
Morning : Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay – Ottis Redding
Night : Nuit – Requin Chagrin
9. A song that makes you nostalgic
Comme des enfants – Cœur de Pirate
10. The best instrumental song
Suite Bergamasque - Debussy
11. A song from the year you were born
La Tribu de Dana - Manau
12. A song from your favorite solo artist
Good in bed – Dua Lipa
13. A song from your favorite movie
La gloire de mon père – Vladimir Cosma
14. A song starting with the first letter of your name
Let's straighten it out – Latimore
15. A song by your favorite band
Sweet Sun –Milky Chance
16. A song from ten years ago
Over the rainbow - IZ
17. A song that reminds you of winter
Weiße Wand – AnnenMayKantereit
18. A song that reminds you of spring
Kiss in the Shadows – Sweatson Klank
19. A song that reminds you of summer
Chan Chan – Buena Vista Social Club
20. A song that reminds you of fall
California Dreaming – The Mamas & The Papas
(i know it’s supposed to be in winter but it has fall vibes to me)
21. A song for a slow Sunday morning
Charcoal Baby – Blood Orange
22. A song to fall asleep to
could cry just thinkin about you – Troye Sivan
23. A song from 2013
Thrift Shop – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
24. A song from the 70’s
Soudain il ne reste qu'une chanson – Claude François
25. A song from the 80’s
Sunday Bloody Sunday – U2
26. A song from the 90’s
U Can't Touch This – MC Hammer
27. A song from the 00’s
Dernière danse - Kyo
28. A song that you discovered recently
Noir paradis - Georgio
29. A song you unexpectedly really like
Just because of you (Come on my love) – Eric Filet
= la chanson de Les Bronzés font du ski mdr
30. The best song to sing along to
Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
31. The best road trip song
La Traversée – Radio Elvis
especially good for train rides
32. Two by an artist who passed away
Wishing well / Come & Go - Juice Wrld
33. Your favorite song from your favorite show
With Love, Vincent – Murray Gold
34. A song that reminds you of a book
Black Beatles (Rae Sremmurd Cover) - Waxx ft. Bleeker
(I listened to that song on repeat when I read Beronica fics a looong time ago, now it always make remind me of those)
35. A song that makes you want to go on an adventure
Into the Unknown – Panic! At The Disco
36. The best cover of a song
Rock El Casbah – Rachid Taha
37. The first three songs that come up when you hit shuffle
Finally – James Arthur
Cuz I Love You – Lizzo
Latch – Disclosure ft. Sam Smith
38. A song from your favorite genre
Sun – Two Door Cinema Club
39. A song with a number in the title
40 Day Dream – Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros
40. A song with a place in the title
Paris – Brigitte
41. A song with a person’s name in the title
Marcia Baïla – Les Rita Mitsouko
42. A completely ridiculous song
Fous ta cagoule – Fatal Bazooka
43. A song by an artist from a different country than you
Σιγά μην κλάψω, σιγά μη φοβηθώ (I won't cry, I won't be scared) – Killah P, aka a Greek antifascist rapper who was murdered by a neo-nazi in 2013.
Here is a video with the lyrics in the subtitles
44. A song from your childhood
Confessions Nocturnes – Diam's & Vitaa
45. A song that makes you cry
Petit pays – Gaël Faye
About the Burundian civil war and theTutsis genocide. I cried even more after reading his book (I didn’t watch the film tho)
46. A song that reminds you of a vacation you took
Naive – The Kooks
47. A song that reminds you of a friend
Pompeii – Bastille
48. A song for a late night
Saint-Lambert – La Bronze
49. A song that makes you feel better
Mir-e Nowruz (Ramteen Remix) - Ahmad Ali Rezayi
50. Your absolute favorite song (or just right now)
My favorite song ever : Wastin' Time – The Shoes
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Over the course of the past year I’ve read over 70 books. Some haven’t quite lived up to expectations but the 10 below stuck in my mind for long enough to make it onto this list. I’ve written a few details about each to explain why they stuck with me and why I think you should give them a shot.
The Bedlam Stacks by Natasha Pulley
Rating: 4.5/5
Brief Synopsis: In 1859, ex-East India Company smuggler Merrick Tremayne is trapped at home in Cornwall after sustaining an injury that almost cost him his leg and something is wrong; a statue moves, his grandfather’s pines explode, and his brother accuses him of madness. When the India Office recruits Merrick for an expedition to fetch quinine—essential for the treatment of malaria—from deep within Peru, he knows it’s a terrible idea. Nearly every able-bodied expeditionary who’s made the attempt has died, and he can barely walk. But Merrick is desperate to escape everything at home, so he sets off, against his better judgment, for a tiny mission colony on the edge of the Amazon where a salt line on the ground separates town from forest.
Favourite Quote: “There are things you wouldn’t do, if you had a motherless child waiting at home. Or with you. Places where you would turn back.”
Why This Book: I’m not usually a fan of historical books, but I absolutely loved this one. The way the world is written, the characters, the unfolding of the plot. Everything just worked together so well. Not sure if it’s canon queer or not but there is strong m/m relationship vibes from two of the characters, like in my eyes they romantically loved each other, im just not sure if it was intended that way by the author or not.
The Wicked King and The Queen of Nothing by Holly Black
Rating: 5
Brief Synopsis: (of the first book in the series, for context) Jude was seven when her parents were murdered and she and her two sisters were stolen away to live in the treacherous High Court of Faerie. Ten years later, Jude wants nothing more than to belong there, despite her mortality. But many of the fey despise humans. Especially Prince Cardan, the youngest and wickedest son of the High King.
Favourite Quote: ““If he thought I was bad, I would be worse. If he thought I was cruel, I would be horrifying.”
Why These Books: The entire series is just pure gold. The audibooks are fantastic, but more than anything it’s the story, and the voice of the main character, and of her family and enemies. I love books which work along fey story lines and worlds, so this was perfect for me. f/f secondary character relationship.
The Nowhere Girls by Amy Reed
Rating: 5
Brief Synopsis: Three misfits come together to avenge the rape of a fellow classmate and in the process trigger a change in the misogynist culture at their high school transforming the lives of everyone around them in this searing and timely story.
Favourite Quote: “One small kindness in a sea of cruelty, one word of truth among lies, these are the seeds that can change the world.”
Why This Book: Jesus christ this BOOK. Girls protecting girls is literally my most favourite thing in the entire world. Coming together, standing together, fighting together. And diversity too! If you add girls protecting girls and queer girls into the same book you officially have my heart. I have goosebumps covering my arms and my heart is aching just thinking about this book.
The Last Sun and The Hanged Man by K.D. Edwards
Rating: 5 (who am I kidding, it’s a clear cut 10/5. I can’t put into words how much i love this series).
Brief Synopsis: Rune Saint John, last child of the fallen Sun Court, is hired to search for Lady Judgment's missing son, Addam, on New Atlantis, the island city where the Atlanteans moved after ordinary humans destroyed their original home.
Favourite Quote: uhhh can i like, list the entire contents of two whole books here? no? huh. alright. ““Didn’t you know what his father was like—what kind of ability Rune has inherited? Those aren’t just shoes to fill, it’s the whole fucking shoe factory. Don’t you ever doubt whether he can do what he says.”
Why These Books: They hit every single trope I love, the writing is fantastic and witty, and characters jump from the page and the plot keeps you ensnared and engrossed. The world is alive, and to top it off, the author is super nice and interacts with the fandom, which is always nice to see. m/m.
Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston
Rating: 5
Brief Synopsis: What happens when America's First Son falls in love with the Prince of Wales?
Favourite Quote: “That's the choice. I love him, with all that, because of all that. On purpose. I love him on purpose.”
Why This Book: Where do I even start? How do I sum up everything I feel for this book in one single paragraph? I cannot write down the noises of joy I made throughout reading it. I can't draw either of the two times i actually hugged it. This book. God. This book. Just go read it, okay? m/m.
The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon
Rating: 5
Brief Synopsis: A world divided. A queendom without an heir. An ancient enemy awakens.
Favourite Quote: “All the world is a cage in a young girl's eyes.”
Why This Book: It’s massive, an actual tomb that could damage someone if you hit them with it, and from start to finish it ensnared me with its rich world and realistic characters and AND!!! The diversity!!!! The women in this book!!! I wanna marry them all!!!!!!!! I’ll be their loving wife as long as they’ll have me!!!!!!!! like legit the definition of "i would let that woman step on me" im so gay for them ALL. f/f.
Salt Magic Skin Magic by Lee Welch
Rating: 4
Brief Synopsis: Lord Thornby has been trapped on his father’s isolated Yorkshire estate for a year. There are no bars or chains; he simply can’t leave. His sanity is starting to fray. When industrial magician John Blake arrives to investigate a case of witchcraft, he finds the peculiar, arrogant Thornby as alarming as he is attractive. John soon finds himself caught up in a dark fairytale, where all the rules of magic—and love—are changed.
Why This Book: I absolutely devoured this book. I listened to the audio book version on 1.5 speed most of the way through and even popped into 1.75 and 2 speed because I needed to know what happened so badly. I had my suspicions and they were proved correct and it was so beautiful and lovely. m/m and absolutely wonderful.
The Deathless Girls by Kiran Millwood Hargave
Rating: 4/5
Brief Synopsis: On the eve of her divining, the day she'll discover her fate, seventeen-year-old Lil and her twin sister Kizzy are captured and enslaved by the cruel Boyar Valcar, taken far away from their beloved traveller community.
Favourite Quote: “I could see the roots of the trees below me seeking water, and the leaves above me seeking sun.”
Why This Book: Beautifully crafted, effortlessly enthralling and dark like vampire stories should be. I’m torn about the ending but the lead up? The characters? The plot? All so well put together. The bond between the two sisters was strong, well written and beautiful. It’s f/f also, which is awesome.
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Ok, but seriously, why did Smeyer make it canon that Edward hates 70s music? That shit slaps, and so much of suits his vibe perfectly. Music will always build on what came before it, and the music of the early 2000s that Edward supposedly likes wouldn’t have existed if it weren’t for artists and bands like Led Zeppelin, Queen and David Bowie to name a few. Like is Smeyer seriously trying to tell us that Edward wouldn’t like Bohemian Rhapsody? That he’d dislike Earth, Wind & Fire? That he wouldn’t like ABBA?
#i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again#stephenie meyer doesn’t know her own characters at all#edward cullen#twilight saga#twilight
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A study regarding the reception of published fanfiction by male and female authors
How is male- and female-written fanfiction received when it gets legitimately published? That is the question I wanted to tackle with my project. I was curious: much of the fanfiction I’ve come across in my life has been written by women and while most have been positively received within their respective communities and fandoms, fanfiction as a whole has always been rather shamed or ridiculed. My limited exposure to male-written fanfiction meant that I had no idea about the other side of the spectrum, so I wanted to find out if gender bias actually did play a role in how fanfiction is viewed. I thought this was an important inquiry to make as this could reveal or debunk any apprehension on behalf of young writers such as myself wanting to make that leap from fanfiction to published novel.
I learned that the reception of male- and female-written fanfiction is biased in more ways than I realized and in ways I didn’t expect. From looking at the language used to discuss them to how much they are discussed, I learned the different values assigned to these types of stories and authors.
My findings could change the literary world—it reveals the gendered hypocrisy behind newly published stories and their non-traditional starts. This could get readers to re-examine their personal biases before they actually read those kinds of books. It could raise awareness towards the treatment of upstart female authors and help widen the avenue of new fiction to include legitimized fanfiction, as my findings show that male fiction with roots in fandom can be well-received despite of that.
Before I could collect any data, I had to figure out my list of authors to examine. I wanted authors that had previous experience writing fanfiction, or that had a reputation for having published stories that began as fanfiction. I defined fanfiction as any piece of fiction with origins from a previously published other work. I counted alternate lives of real life people as fanfiction. I read through the lists of authors that fit this criteria and came up with 7 female authors and 7 male authors. I then searched for 5 reviews of each author on their books that had been associated with fanfiction beginnings. I edited my list a few times because I only wanted to focus on modern books.
Once I picked out all 70 reviews total, I organized them by author and read through each review once before going back to tally for any instance where the words “fanfiction,” “fanfic,” or “fic” was used and then classified their usage as either positive, negative, or neutral. After that, I read through the reviews again. This time I was codifying for any instances where the books were being discussed by pure literary elements. These included tone, pace, characters, setting, plot, theme, and writing style. I considered dialogue to fall under the same category as character. I added up all these instances for each author and then found the average amount of times these literary elements were assessed per review. Then I found the average length of each author’s review, measured by its amount of sentences, and divided the average amount of literary assessment by the average review length to find the average percentage of how much each author’s review discussed what I considered relevant opinions regarding the books themselves. All of these calculations were represented in tables and graphs so that I could better analyze general patterns. I also noted recurring words used within the reviews for female and male authors.
Upon conducting this project I discovered that while all those books could be classified as fanfiction or started as fanfiction, “fanfiction” was only used to describe the works of 6 out of 14 authors and most often with the female authors. I wasn’t surprised by that, but I was surprised that in the case of male authors, “pastiche” or “homage” were used instead. That coded as a double standard. Pastiche, homage, and fanfiction all center around roughly the same concept of further exploring a pre-existing work by applying your own ideas. The difference between these words are their individual connotations. A homage can be seen as an act of admiration for the original creator that classifies the fan’s work as acceptable to the public. A pastiche is generally associated with a style of art defined as a celebration of the original. Both pastiche and homage hold associations of respect. Fanfiction doesn’t hold that universal association. In fact, the reviews that did mention fanfiction tended to do so in mainly negative or neutral light. The only male mention of fanfiction was positive. This shows that fanfiction—especially when associated with women—tends to be mocked, whereas when associated with men is often celebrated.
This negative gendered connotation with “fanfiction” further extends to the reception of a book it spawns. Although the female reviews seemed to spend more time discussing the literary merits and pitfalls of these books, much of the reviews tended to focus on character and writing styles. Attacks on character design opened the playing field for comparisons with the source material, something relished by many of the Anna Todd and E.L. James critics. For example, in one of the reviews for E.L. James’ book 50 Shades of Grey, the critic writes:
“It is entirely obvious to me that this used to be Twilight fan fiction because James manages to capture the vibe of the original: the shoe-gazing, eye-gazing, pseudo-angst of Bella and Edward’s tumultuous love affair. Yes! It’s all there from the zero conflict to the zero chemistry! However, as it turns out—and believe me I’m as surprised to be saying this as you are to hear it—Twilight turns out to be the more sophisticated version.”
Character development is a valid criticism of any novel but what stood out to me was the phrasing of the first line: “It is entirely obvious to me that this used to be Twilight fan fiction.” The critic could have voiced their distaste of James’ protagonists without negatively reviewing 50 Shade of Grey’s past as Twilight fanfiction. Instead, the critic opened their opinion with that phrased as if you can automatically write off a book just because it has roots in fanfiction. Another negative instance where “fanfiction” was mentioned was in regards to Anna Todd. One critic writing for Medium stated that their issues with Todd’s book After was “not just that it’s basically Fifty/Twilight with a thin coat of peeling paint and carries with it the dangerous relationship dynamics (more on that later), but it’s also clearly written to exploit the 1D fandom.” Here, the idea of a fan writing fanfiction stories for other fans is seen as exploitative of the original material. None of those previous connotations of respect can be seen. Contrast that with the reception of male fanfiction: whenever “fanfiction” was mentioned in a review for a male author, it was never presented as a drawback of the piece. Rather, the fact that the book was published by a fan for fans was often cheekily praised. One review title for John Scalzi’s Redshirts referred to the book as a “love-letter to fans.” The same critic said again at the end of the review that Redshirts was:
“A dramatic remove, yes, but it's deeply fitting that a book so centered in the fan experience should contain fan fiction; the codas provide a further look into the lives of characters only glimpsed in the main narrative, a comforting meta-redshirt hat-tip that, like the novel itself, is a love letter to fans of the fannish.”
What a double-standard this revealed!
These results matter most to writers, publishers, readers that enjoy new fiction. Writers should take from these findings that fanfiction can be a productive way to transition into a published author. A review from The Atlantic even said about After, “Multiple literary agents reached out to [Anna Todd], but [Anna Todd] dismissed them as ‘crazy people,’ figuring no legitimate professional would seek out One Direction fan fiction.” Turns out, they did! Their publications may not always be severable from their fanfiction past, but that can be seen as a positive. Publishers should explore these fan-lead routes that give way to new books. These reviews show that people do pay attention and often have a lot to say about their literary elements; fanfiction is not merely frivolous and self-indulgent. Readers should see that new stories can sometimes come from offshoots of pre-existing stories (much like they always have in the history of story-telling). They should be more aware of gender bias that surrounds the fanfare of a new book, especially one that may not have been published if not for fanfiction. Fanfiction has genuine merits helpful for creators and consumers of the literary world, and they shouldn’t be overlooked before the story is told.
#fanfiction#fic#fanfic#study#E. L. James#Cassandra Clare#Anna Todd#Jane Smiley#Naomi Novik#Christina Hobbs#Christina Lauren#Lauren Billings#Carrie Bebris#Phillip Pullman#Neil Gaiman#Seth Grahame-Smith#Ben H. Winters#John Scalzi#Gregory Maguire#Lev Grossman#50 Shades of Grey#50 Shades of Grey series#The Mortal Instruments#City of Bones#After#His Majesty's Dragon#Temeraire series#Beautiful Bastard#Pride and Prejudice and Zombies#A Study in Emerald
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SO’s Guide to the MCU
A handy guide for @coffeegleek to decide if she (or anyone else) would like join the ranks. It’s fine if you don’t want to, but that means more shawarma for us.
1. Iron Man -
Robert Downey Jr. plays himself Tony Stark, an asshole billionaire, genius, playboy, philanthropist, who nearly dies, and saves himself by becoming Iron Man. This film kicks off the tone of the MCU combining humor and action and just being a fun ride. Completely recommended to get a jump start into the MCU to see how it all begins.
2. The Incredible Hulk
Rightfully considered the black sheep of the Marvel family. It’s... not good. In fact, I couldn’t even find a gif for you. Eventually, they’ll switch out Edward Norton for the much more entertaining Mark Ruffalo, and pretty much nothing in this movie matters to the big scheme of things, so it’s entirely skippable. And I mean, even if you are a huge Hulk fan - I’d probably still recommend skipping it.
3. Iron Man 2
This film is considered by a lot of people to be one of the weaker ones - and while I still enjoy it a lot, it’s understandable as to why people think that. It’s funny and has charm, but it’s kind of a mess - so... if you had fun with Iron Man 1 and really want to see more Tony Stark I recommend! Otherwise, feel free to move on. Black Widow is introduced here, but her introduction in The Avengers is just fine.
4. Thor
For me, the first Thor film is a little ‘meh’, though it does have some charm. Chris Hemsworth plays a frat boy god who gets grounded to Earth after he misbehaves by his father Odin. The real gem of this film is Tom Hiddleson’s Loki and the family dynamics between Thor, Loki, and Odin. The stuff with Natalie Portman and the Earlings is fine. But I almost recommend watching Avengers first and seeing if you like that first, and if you do, come back and watch Thor if you’re interested or if you just want to see Chris Hemsworth be pretty for two hours.
5. Captain America: The First Avenger
The epic romance that is Steve and Bucky starts here. If you’re totally intrigued by tumblr’s fascination with ‘Stucky’ this is a must!! But more seriously, C:TFA is a fun film, yes set in the 40s, but I think it handles that well and Chris Evans is an absolute delight as Cap -- or Steve Rogers, a plucky kid from Brooklyn who just wants to prove what a big heart he has. It’s much more entertaining for than the Thor film (IMO), though if you’re still on the fence, again, watch Avengers first, and come back if Cap holds your attention.
6. The Avengers
If you’re really unsure about any of the first phase of films, then start off with The Avengers. This film is amazing -- it’s funny, and emotional, and is nicely paced, and you really get a nice sense of who the characters are and what they stand for. This film is just fun, with the MCU’s trademark humor and intriguing action (and I say this as a person who really isn’t into action films if you can believe it). I can’t say enough good things about this film - it’s really good, go watch it!!
7. Iron Man 3
Iron Man 3 is the continuing adventures of Tony Stark. This film is batshit insane at times (but I kinda love it - though I love Iron Man, so...) It’s got some great character work for Tony Stark if you’re interested, which I think is the best thing this film has going for it. It doesn’t, however, play much of a part in the bigger scheme of things, so if Tony isn’t your person, then you can skip past it.
8. Thor: The Dark World
This film is often considered the weakest (after Incredible Hulk), but I’m not gonna lie, I find this way more enjoyable than Thor 1. It’s... not a good film, but if you’re a fan of Thor, or Loki, or just utter nonsense in a fantasy setting then check it out!
9. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
The Epic Romance of Steve and Bucky pt. 2: The Return of Bucky!! I’m kinda being tongue-and-cheek, this film is honestly pretty amazing. It’s a political spy-thriller where Cap has to go underground and undercover when Shield (the good guys) is infiltrated by a Nazi organization. Everything about this film is done wonderfully well, and I highly recommend this one. (Though, I’m not doing it justice - just ask @ckerouac)
10. Guardians of the Galaxy
Do you like epic space operas with a quirky sense of humor and a good soundtrack?? Well then Guardians is right up your alley. The first film Chris Pratt is Star Lord - a scavenger Han Solo type who finds himself caught up in space hijinks. There are green aliens and talking trees and raccoons and whatever Drax is. It’s fun and entertaining. I think general audiences like it more than I do - but I do agree that it’s a wonderfully done film.
11. Avengers: Age of Ultron
Well, let’s be honest - the Avengers sequel just isn’t what the first film is. It tries, and has some charming moments, but just doesn’t hold together very well, the main issue being that the villain - Ultron - just isn’t a very good villain. If you liked Avengers - give it a shot, it introduced Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver and a lot of the next batch of films, but I recommend going into it without much expectation. However, you can always come back to this one if you want to wait to see if you like some of the later films first.
12. Ant-Man
Ant-Man, played by the delightful Paul Rudd, is a low stakes fun heist film that’s kind of a mix between Honey I Shrunk the Kids, Ocean’s 11, and every other MCU film. It’s cute and lighthearted - and if you find Paul Rudd charming, I totally recommend it. If you’re still on the MCU fence, though, there are other films I’d much rather recommend first.
13. Captain America: Civil War
Captain America: The Epic Stucky Romance pt. 3 -- Steve Rogers breaks up with his current BF Tony Stark so to be with his one true love, Bucky Barnes... Meanwhile, Tony Stark finds out he’s a dad -- to a teenager.
Okay, I’m kidding. Here’s the thing...
This film is hard to discuss. Some people love it (me! - I love the characterization stuff we get in it, plus the deep nods to the comics, and the introduction of Spider-Man), others hate it (@ckerouac - this is not a Cap film, It’s Avengers 2.5. I want my Cap film!!) and, much like the film itself, there are valid reasons for everyone’s point of view. It does play a major part in the fabric of the MCU - so I do recommend seeing it at least once so to gather your own opinion. ;)
14. Doctor Strange
Benedict Cumberbatch plays a mystical Tony Stark Doctor Strange. I think it’s an interesting film - it’s kind of got an Inception/Matrix vibe about it, but I like both the character and Cumberbatch in the role. However, I don’t think it’s anywhere near the strongest of the MCU films, so if any of that doesn’t interest you, then it’s okay to skip -- Doctor Strange’s appearances in other films are better if I’m being totally honest.
15. Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2
Guardians 2 is probably my second least favorite film of the bunch. I think it kind of lacks the charm of the first one and amps up the 12yo humor. But that’s just me. If you really liked Guardians 1 check it out! Otherwise, feel free to move on. However, it does gain a few points for Baby Groot.
16. Spider-Man: Homecoming
Let’s be real - This film is basically Tom Holland being a precious little muffin for two hours, and if you aren’t sold entirely on that premise, well then, I can’t help you. ;)
17. Thor: Ragnarok
Underwhelmed by the first two Thor films? Thought the Hulk movie sucked? Well - welcome to Thor Ragnarok -- the film that just does not give a shit what came before it and does whatever the hell it wants because it’s like a 70′s acid trip. And walks away being, perhaps, the best comedy in the MCU. Everything is delightful about this film -- and if you wanted more from a Thor film, more Loki, more crazy antics with Mark Ruffalo - then you’ve come to the right place. Also - bonus batshit crazy Cate Blanchett, Tessa Thompson as an amazing lesbian/bi (?) female warrior, and Jeff Goldblum -- Jeff Goldblum-ing.
18. Black Panther
Chadwick Boseman is Black Panther - and I’m sure you’ve heard all the stuff swirling about how amazing this film is. There are two things I personally really enjoy about the film -- the fact that it digs deeper than your average superhero film and is not afraid to tackle relevant questions we’re talking about in society right now, and the fact that the female cast in this one is fantastic and incredibly worth watching. This one’s a definite must!
19. Avengers: Infinity War
So... I’m sure you’ve probably heard all about this one by now. Here’s what I have to say about it -- I recommend seeing if after you’ve seen all the previous ones that you’ve wanted to see -- it does build on the others in a way a TV show builds to its finale. And honestly, left me emotionally satisfied (knowing it was the first half of a two parter). It’s a great film, imo, and worth it.
20. Ant-Man and the Wasp
Ant-Man and Wasp is a lot like the first film, only ramped up a little more. After the heaviness of Infinity War, it’s light and a treat. It’s not entirely (or at all) essential, but it’s a lot of fun if that’s what you’re looking for.
21. Captain Marvel
Okay, so Captain Marvel isn’t out yet - but the trailer looks delightful, I know who Cap Marvel is from the comics, and it’s time the MCU got its shit together and put a woman in the front. I say go see it! Plus, I’m sure it’ll be relevant for the next Avengers film.
22. Avengers: End Game
So, um, also not out yet - but if you’ve liked everything up until now, I’m sure you’ll not only go see - but cry buckets full <3
23. Spider-Man Far From Home
Let’s be real - we’re all gonna need another two hours of Tom Holland being a precious little muffin after whatever Endgame throws at us. ;)
///
And that’s it! That’s the MCU in a nutshell (so far). Marvel has, like, it’s next ten years planned out, so definitely not the end. But - hey - if anything interests you - I really do recommend checking that out first and coming back to fill in things if you want to know more. :)
Guide to Non-MCU Marvel Films Part 1
Guide to Non-MCU Marvel Films Part 2
#mcu#marvel#iron man#thor#captain america#spider-man#ant-man#black panther#doctor strange#that's how s.o. sees it
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50 Years of Going to Shows, Pt. 9: Jazz in St. Louis
I am in the middle of my fourth year of attending shows at Jazz at the Bistro and it is a great joy to have this formative music back so centrally in my life, to make this my go to music, to think about music in jazz terms. From that first Johnny Winter blues jam, I’ve always been drawn to virtuosic playing. Certainly rock and ur-jam band guitarists were a start. But I saw Norman Blake flat pick amazingly in those early years and later Celtic fiddlers and box players amazed me. Chamber music but also Irish sessions have an intimate conversational aspect. But it’s jazz that has it all. I sensed that in the early 70s and it’s where I’ve come home to now.
I kept my eye on jazz before the Bistro, particularly through Webster University’s wonderful jazz faculty and their performances. I would return to tried and true recordings, starting with Miles, Monk, and Mingus and Bill Evans at the Village Vanguard. I knew I couldn’t miss Sonny Rollins when he played UMSL’s performing arts center in 2009 and had even better tickets for a return a few years later that he had to cancel. He was vital, transforming from a tentative, slightly stooped old man into a flurry of ideas dancing lightly around the stage delighted in the choruses he unfolded for himself and others. He had a guitarist (not a pianist), a trombone, drums and percussion, and Bob Crenshaw. Standards and Ellington. But it was a bit of a one off.
It has taken season packages at Jazz St. Louis for four years now to get the engagement and focus that I now have.It’s fitting that the first one was Bill Charlap and his trio. That configuration is where I’m glad to start, going back to Oscar Peterson when I was 8. I’m almost too vociferously anti-musical theater, except jazz musicians have done wonderful things with and burnished the Great American Song Book. Charlap is one of our key curators. But these aren’t museum pieces in his hands; they are a dynamic legacy kept alive by use. There’s taste, drive, invention in tradition. Just like that Johnny Winter concert in early fall of 1969, there was something I had to have more of.Next up was Vijay Iyer, also in a trio. A different aesthetic but he worked a jam into Epistrophy, so tradition prevails. And the piano trio’s elasticity continued to win me over. The Bad Plus begins the year in St. Louis and we were where the rebooted when Orrin Evans replaced Ethan Iverson. I saw them once with Iverson, couch toured that opening run of BP2.0, saw them last year and plan to see them next in January. I started to get them seeing them live, seeing how the compositions work and how they work them. I think they’re a little warmer and organic with Evans, just as smart and clever but grounded. I’ve seen Benny Green swing hard and Cyrus Chestnutt do so as well but then throw in a good chunk of French Impressionism. Emmet Cohen’s band was the foundation for an odd mix of horn players I wanted to see: Marquis Hill and, for a second time, Melissa Aldana. The five of them didn’t quite jell, but the Cohen trio is a working band I would see again. Kenny Barron was a monument of taste and command and Chick Corea was impish, a grand old man of the music in spite of himself. There were standards but also a glorious exposition on Paco de Luca’s Zyriab, pulling together the Arabic roots of Flamenco. So, piano trios always with the Bad Plus, Christian Sands at the Sheldon Concert Hall down the street (where I saw Eliane Elias with Marc Johnson do wonderful Brazilian stuff but also some superb jazz evoking Bill Evans), and Connie Han ahead.
Now, we’re Miles Davis’s hometown and folks know that. The SF Jazz Collective came to the Bistro in 2017 with a program of his music (wide ranging—Tutu and Bitches Brew as well as Nardis for an acoustic ensemble) as well as compositions from band members in the ensemble. It’s a grand concept—a four horn front line with vibes and rhythm section, with some general stability but it’s morphed over the years. Everyone composes and arranges and they celebrate a composer each season. Our band was Sean Jones, David Sanchez, Miguel Zenon, Robin Eubanks, Warren Wolf, Edward Simon, Matt Penniman, and Obed Calvaire. They return to the Sheldon this year for an In a Silent Way tribute with mostly the same folks—so anther chance to see Sanchez and Zenon who were particularly impressive. Russell Gunn evoked Miles’s Blackhawk set with Jimmy Cobb holding down the drum chair very capably at age 90.
After piano tours and Milesiana, there are tenors. So I couch toured a conversation and partial set with Benny Golson—not quite in the room with a legend but a vivid experience. I am intrigued and enthralled at the playing of Melissa Aldana who crafts vivid lines that fill space quite fully (she has some great trio work) with ideas rather than tone. Her own quartet had over active drumming from Tommy Crane whereas the Emmet Cohen show pulled her in multiple directions (blusier, mostly) than she quite fit. She is a star in Artemis, but shares the front line with Anat Cohen and Ingrid Jensen, but she is one star among many. So I haven’t quite heard the ideal Aldana show. But I am glad to keep trying.
I’ve been able to see Joshua Redmond twice. As great as his tenor invention is, his band (with Aaron Goldberg) was what impressed me most. The way longstanding bands like this (and Branford Marsalis’s with Joey Caldazzaro) think together is very special. Marsalis and Caldazzaro would magically complete one another’s thoughts and both tenors took great delight in what their bands could do, soloing all the better because of it. In these bands, but most of them, including the trios, I an struck with just how good drummers have become, really playing music beyond rhythm. Allison Miller has a Jazz Night in America video on “melodic drumming,” so it was a treat to see her with Artemis, listening so hard but happily to inflect the music so well. She was almost the one to keep one’s eyes on, except that Anat Cohen exudes such unbridled joy at all times. Her quartet show was a real highlight of 2018-2019. I am so glad she and Ben Goldberg are making the clarinet a modern jazz instrument.
Joe Lovano came through with the brilliant and adventurous John Scofield who plays with Phil Lesh and Warren Haynes. I find myself shying away from jazz guitar preferring the piano. But that was quite a show as was Scofield again with Jack DeJohnette’s Hudson project which jammed out originals and The Band/Hendrix/Joni Mitchell very well. DeJohnette has quite a palette of drums and especially cymbals. We were 4 rows back on his side so we had a literally ringside seat for that magic at the Sheldon.
I have made a point to hear the likes of Marquis Hill, Robert Glasper, Stefon Harris, and, most recently, Terence Blanchard to hear how hip hop is being incorporated into jazz as funk was in my youth and rhythm and blues was in the ‘50s. My younger generation didn’t bring that music home, so I don’t have that sensibility. But I would be an old fart in extremis if I didn’t welcome those influences. That said, I am more intrigued with how SFJAZZ takes the essence of electric Miles into acoustic music than vocoders and loops and reverb. But, every time these newer shows have lots to delight in, including drummers who move the beat around and are not confined by any strictures.
The music is supposed to grow. And I get to watch it.
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This entry is the last one of this 10 part series this Fall celebrating the 50th Anniversary of concert going, marked by my second one from 11/4/69 with Led Zeppelin. Yes, this is part 9, but, rather like the Beatles releasing Abbey Road before Let It Be (actually, not like those monuments at all), I have already posted a part 10 about the shows I didn’t see. But, wrapping up with jazz makes a certain amount of sense.
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