#edit edit: 50k you all are insane
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it’s always “your redemption is something you have to work towards for the rest of your life” and never “how was the unhinged spiral into evil? the unhinged spiral into evil looked fun”
#loool#@ faith but really any villain#faith lehane#buffy the vampire slayer#btvs#jd.text#edit: first post past 1k omg#edit edit: 50k you all are insane
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Unwanted, Chapter 1: Unarmed, Pt. 1
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: (For this part only) Following the events of CA:CW, Tony Stark has offered Steve Rogers an olive branch of sorts to bring The Avengers back together. You, CTO of Stark Industries and head of Innovation & Technology for the Avengers' Initiative, have your doubts, as you're not quite ready to forgive Captain America for ripping your family apart just yet. Steve had one condition, however, when agreeing to return to the team, one that's going to turn your life upside down and inside out: If he's coming back to join The Avengers, he's bringing his best friend, Bucky Barnes, with him.
Warnings: (For this part only) Language (obviously), minor mention of alcohol, I'm obviously on Team Tony during the CW; don't come for me, awful jokes, minor use of (Y/N). As always, if I missed any, please let me know.
Word Count: 3.2k
A/N: Here's a little preview of Unwanted. In it's current form, it's standing at about 50k words, with about 25k still in editing, and I'm maybe about half done with writing the entire thing? I'm not going to lie, it starts out cute and fluffy, but it's gonna get real angsty and painful. Dear Reader has unresolved emotional trauma and Bucky doesn't understand the importance of boundaries in 21st century relationships. This piece has been my baby for several months now; I really hope ya'll enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it!
Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917
Taglist: (Please let me know if you'd like to be added!) @blackhawkfanatic
"You're sure you're cool with this, Boss?" you asked Tony Stark, for what was probably the ten thousandth time in the last hour. The two of you were sitting by yourselves off in a corner of the common area of the Avengers Tower while the rest of your team congregated around the bar, eagerly anticipating the official return of Captain America to the Avengers. That, by itself, would be enough to warrant a gathering of Earth's mightiest heroes, but what had everyone in attendance talking was the fact that Steve Rogers wouldn't be returning alone.
Your billionaire employer sighed and swirled his glass of Laphroaig, the amber liquid sloshing along the sides of the tumbler. "I don't love it, Pocket, but it was Cap's only condition for coming back into the fold, and since Barton, Wilson, and Maximoff all went off the reservation with him, it seemed a small price to pay to get everyone back under one roof." He took a swig of his whiskey and smacked his lips.
You couldn't help but smile at his use of your nickname. Thor had inadvertently given it to you when you first met the God of Thunder years ago, remarking for everyone to hear that you were so small and tiny, he could tuck you into his pocket and abscond away with you to Asgard. Somehow, it stuck. You'd hated it at first; it had felt dismissive and condescending, which of course meant that it soon became the only thing the members of your team called you, but the more they used in their daily lives, the more you actually came to love it. It was a brand new, unique identity that came to embody the person you’d become, and the past you’d worked so hard to put behind you. You were more likely to answer to 'Pocket,' now, than you were your legal name, and you were grateful for it.
"Besides," Tony continued with a shrug, "if letting the Barnes thing go means we get the band back together, I'm willing to be the bigger person about it."
You stared at him, impressed. "Well look at you. When did you get so emotionally evolved?"
"Since Pepper told me I needed to start seeing a therapist or she’d leave me once and for all," he admitted to you with a cheeky wink; you both knew that, though Tony drove his partner, Pepper Potts, absolutely insane sometimes, she loved him far too much to ever walk away from him for good. That didn’t stop the threats, though. Lord knows he tried her patience. In your opinion, the woman was a saint.
Your eyes widened at the revelation and you let out a low whistle of appreciation. "You're going to therapy? Wow. Tony, That's amazing. I'm proud of you."
"Oh please," Tony scoffed, "I have much more important things to do than sit on a couch and spill my feelings. Besides, my secrets are too valuable to divulge to an actual human being. I just trained FRIDAY on therapeutic conversational datasets so she can handle all that psychological mumbo jumbo and then I paired that with BARF's augmented reality-- it's seriously the platinum standard in mental healthcare. No awkward silences or judgmental stares, just pure efficiency. You should try it; it’d do you wonders. And the best part? No copays."
You chuckled as you took a sip of your pineapple and Malibu. "Yeah, okay. That completely tracks for you," you told him with a smile. "So, what did Dr. FRIDAY tell you that got you to change your mind about the Barnes situation?"
Furrows appeared between Tony's eyebrows as he took another sip of whiskey to buy time for collecting his thoughts. There was still so much pain in him where Bucky Barnes was concerned. You'd worked for him in some capacity for nearly fifteen years and you'd never seen him as defeated as he'd been when he got off that Quinjet from Siberia. He'd been bloodied, battered and utterly broken, body and soul. Seeing him like that had shattered you, and you never wanted to live through something like that again.
Tony ran you through his experience with his therapeutic innovation, and you had to admit, it was impressive. The system had helped him realize that Bucky Barnes wasn't responsible for the heinous crimes Hydra had brainwashed him into completing, and so his anger over the death of his parents, while justified, had been misdirected.
"Once I processed that, it was a quick jump to realizing we can't be the best version of the Avengers if we only have half the team at home, and it's innocent people who would pay the price for it. So, when I reached out to Cap and he agreed to come back if I agreed to let him bring Barnes with him, well..." Tony trailed off, gesturing vaguely with his hand toward the where the rest of the team was waiting.
"So, you and Rogers are just, what? Good then? All water under the bridge?" you asked him, mild irritation clouding your voice.
"Oh, absolutely not." Tony took another sip of whiskey. "I can work with him again, and I'm glad to, but we're not going to be braiding each other's hair anytime soon."
"Good," you said, raising your glass in a mock toast to Tony. "I'm not quite ready to forgive him on your behalf just yet." Tony had essentially saved your life when you first met him, and he’d continued to support and guide your career to heights you could have never imagined. You'd started as a systems analyst and mechanical engineer at Stark Industries fresh out of college, and under Tony’s mentorship, it wasn’t long before you found yourself rising to the position of the company’s Chief Technical Officer, second in command only to Pepper, now that Tony had passed on the reins to her. All this happened long before he'd ever brought you in to work with him on the Avengers Initiative, and now you spent the majority of your time heading up their Technology and Innovation Department, as well.
Any kind of healthy respect you might have had for your boss had died out a long, long time ago, because Tony Stark was Tony Stark, but now he was just Tony-- more like an annoying older brother you loved dearly, whose name just happened to be on your paychecks. You owed him everything and that had earned him your unwavering loyalty. You'd follow him to hell and back again if he asked it of you, though he knew he’d never have to; you’d be paving the path there right alongside him.
The sound of laughter made its way across to you from the other side of the room and you felt warmth at the sound-- everyone, together again and happy. Just a few short months ago, you never would have been able to imagine the scene before you, not after the fight in Berlin and its brutal aftermath. You had thought for sure that this little family you'd found yourself in the middle of had been destroyed beyond repair.
So, you might have had your own reasons to be pissed at Steve Rogers.
"What's Barnes like?" you asked Tony. Having only ever glimpsed him from a distance, or from behind a computer monitor, you'd utilized all the resources at your disposal to dig up as much information on the Winter Soldier as possible, but even your skills hadn't been able to get you what simply didn't exist. "You know I don't like unknown quantities."
Tony seemed to think for a moment. "You mean, aside from being a brainwashed, murderous assassin?"
"Tony," you chastised. You knew that Barnes had spent a good deal of time in Wakanda before coming home to New York, working on having the words that triggered his homicidal alter-ego neutralized. Rogers may not always acted rationally when it came to making decisions about his oldest friend, but you were sure he wouldn’t be bringing Barnes back to the Tower if he posed a serious danger to the rest of you. Right?
"Fine," Tony said, with a typical exaggerated sigh. "Aside from being a former brainwashed, murderous assassin; better?" You rolled your eyes but nodded. "Don't really know, didn't care enough to ask. I'll be happy as long as he doesn't start murdering us all in our sleep. Cap vouches for him, so that counts for something. Maybe not as much as it did once upon a time, but something. But T’Challa seems to think he’s harmless enough now, so that’s good enough for me."
You nodded, taking another sip of your pineapple and Malibu, then leaned back, pensive. "Oh, God," you said after a moment of thought, sitting up in alarm. "You don't think it’s going to be like having an entire extra Rogers around, do you? All '40s morality and emotional repression? Because I am so over having him police my language." It wasn't that you had anything against Captain America as an Avenger, but there was only so much of the Boy Scout act you could take before you started getting nauseous. And okay, fine, you weren't too proud to admit it-- there was a not-so-small part of you that still hadn't forgiven him for what you saw as his blatant betrayal of Tony when he refused to sign the Accords. You'd promised to play nice, though, for the sake of your family, but your personal relationship with The Star-Spangled Man had taken heavy damage since Berlin.
Tony chuckled. "As if you'd ever let Cap's presence keep you from a good profanity. I should put out a swear jar. We could fund that crisis algorithm project of yours off your mouth alone."
"Fuck you, Tony," you uttered with a chuckle, fully aware that he had your number. You never met a four-letter word you didn’t fall immediately in love with.
"And look at that," Tony said with a smirk, "I just made another dollar. Hey FRIDAY, open up a new savings account and deposit a dollar into every time Pocket has a potty mouth."
"On it, Boss," the AI replied cheerfully.
You swore at Tony a few more times for good measure. "I fully intend to financially bleed you dry now, asshole."
"Oh no, I'm shaking in my custom Tom Ford's," Tony mockingly bemoaned, putting his feet, enclosed in the aforementioned ridiculously expensive loafers, up on the coffee table.
Raised voices from the other side of the room caught your attention. You stood up and craned your neck, trying to see what had caused the commotion. "I think they're here, Boss," you said.
"Alright," Tony said, standing up and putting an arm around your shoulder, "big smiles, kiddo. Remember, we're supposed to be happy about this." You suppressed a chuckle as you watched Rogers present Bucky Barnes to the rest of the team. Everyone was welcoming; you wouldn’t have expected any less, but as you watched their body language, the only word that came to mind was guarded. And you completely understood; The Winter Soldier’s reputation had preceded him, after all. There were hugs for Rogers, of course, but no one made any attempt to reach out to his friend.
Despite your overall annoyance with Rogers, you couldn't help but feel some degree of happiness for the giant oaf. When you'd been assigned on a mission with him (which happened fairly frequently, as he was so pathetically abysmal with anything having to do with technology) and ended up having to hole up in a safehouse for an extra couple of days while waiting for extraction, he'd started opening up to you about James Buchanan Barnes, and the reminiscing had made him so happy, you encouraged Steve to tell you everything about this Bucky. After that, the trouble was getting Rogers to stop telling his Bucky stories. If he wasn't sharing tales about growing up with his best friend during the Great Depression and all the absolute mischief they got into, he was sharing war stories of their time together with the Howling Commandos. He'd even shared his grief with you– how painful it had been to watch Barnes fall from that train and the guilt he carried for not being able to save him. He’d confessed to you once that, when he went into the ice, fully prepared to die, there was a part of him that was relieved to be reunited with Barnes in the next life, and waking up some 70 years later to a world where he was still alive but Bucky was still gone had broken his heart all over again. And yet, here they were– together in the next life, after all. If you were a different kind of person, you’d say it was a goddamn miracle.
Because of the way Rogers described his best friend in those old stories, you were expecting Bucky Barnes to come swaggering along next to him, with a cocksure tilt to his head and a panty-dropping smirk playing along his lips, but the man who accompanied Steve was the furthest thing from that.
He shuffled behind Rogers slowly, looking at the floor and avoiding making eye contact with anyone else from the team. His hair hung long and limp, curtaining off his face as though it were a protective barrier. Though, if it was keeping him away from everyone else, or everyone else away from him, you couldn't be sure. He was much thinner than you'd anticipated, especially for a super soldier– though still extremely muscular, giving you the impression that it had been a long time since he'd let himself indulge in anything more than the bare minimum amount of calories he needed for survival. Tilting your head, you tried to steal a glance at his infamous metal arm, the thing of legends that had turned him from a run-of-the-mill assassin into the stuff of waking nightmares.
But the sleeve of his jacket hung limp, only empty space where the appendage should have been.
Curious. He'd come to Tony Stark's home unarmed. Your hand flew to your mouth to try and stop the uncontrollable snicker that broke loose at your own stupid joke. Tony elbowed you gently in the ribs to shut you up, and you hoped you were too far away and the others too distracted by Steve's introductions to notice you, but that thought flew right out the window when Bucky Barnes' head snapped up at the sound, his eyes locking onto yours from across the room.
"Holy shit," you breathed, knowing another dollar would go into Tony's digital swear jar, but damn if the man didn't have the most striking blue eyes you had ever seen. There were dark circles under them, and he looked incredibly tired, yeah, but they were beautiful. You didn't mean to stare, but you found you couldn't look away, either, and so the two of you were locked into some sort of impromptu staring contest. The longer you looked at him, the more you could sense an overwhelming sadness coming from him, as well as a level of wariness at being in a room full of strangers. It was almost overwhelming.
But then, just as suddenly as it began, the spell was broken. Blinking once, Bucky looked away and you felt the tension vanish from between you.
"What was that about?" Tony asked you in a low singsong voice.
"I have no idea," you answered, honestly. There had been so much pain and loneliness in his eyes. You'd seen eyes like that before, when you were younger and looked at your own reflection in the mirror following a scalding shower with your skin scrubbed raw and bloody. You suppressed a shiver.
Finally, Steve managed to disengage himself and Bucky from the other Avengers and began making his way toward you and Tony. Up close, you were struck by how tall Bucky was. He had to be at least a foot taller than you, if not more. And God, he was handsome. Granted, in a kind of heroin-chic sort of way, but still. A couple of good nights' sleep, a few good meals, some light personal grooming, and... well, there was a very good chance you were going to be in trouble once he got his shit together, that was for sure.
"And Buck," Steve was saying, drawing you out of your ogling, "This is our resident computer genius, Pocket (Y/L/N). You ever need help with anything technology-related, she's your girl."
"A bit of an over-simplified version, Rogers," you said, sticking your hand out to shake Bucky’s, "but yeah, that about covers it."
Bucky looked at you, then down at your hand, making no move to take it.
"What the hell kind of name is Pocket?" he asked, voice rough as though he hadn’t been using it a lot. Pulling your hand back, you shot him an annoyed glare.
"I don't know," you oozed back sarcastically. "What the hell kind of name is Bucky?"
"It's his nickname, Pocket," Steve supplied helpfully, though not without a trace of confusion. You gave him an annoyed, pointed look.
"No shit, Rogers." You turned back to Bucky and spoke slowly, as if to a child. "So, what do you think Pocket is, then?"
"Oh," said Bucky, catching on. The corners of his mouth turned up ever so slightly. "Gotcha; m'sorry about that. My manners are rusty from a severe lack of use."
You didn't mean it, but your mouth curved up into a hint of a smile, too. And then, almost as if you couldn't stop yourself from doing it, you found yourself saying "I see you've arrived unarmed."
There was a long, heavy beat of silence as Steve and Tony stared at you, mouths slightly agape, and you wondered if you'd made a critical error. You were just about to punch yourself in the face and claim you had a concussion and therefore couldn't be held responsible for what you said when Bucky burst into laughter.
It was the most beautiful sound you'd ever heard, and it was contagious. Through your own laughter, you risked a glance up at Steve. He was looking back and forth between you and Bucky, an indiscernible look in his eyes, and you couldn't help but wonder how long it had been since he'd heard his best friend laugh. Hell, you wondered how long it had been since Bucky Barnes had laughed at all.
"Pocket," Tony groaned, palming his face, "that was truly terrible, even for you."
"I'm sorry," you said, trying to catch your breath through your burst of giggles. "It just slipped out-- I couldn’t help it. You know once these things come into my head, they just bounce around in there until they fall out. I didn't mean it."
Steve smiled at you. "So that's what you were snickering at," he said, amused. Damn that enhanced super soldier hearing. Rogers didn't need to be so nosy with it.
You shrugged. "What can I say? Bad jokes are my superpower. Don't be jealous that all you got was super strength and a six pack, Rogers."
Bucky laughed again, then nudged Steve playfully with his elbow. "I like this one, Stevie," he said. "She's funny."
You weren't sure why, exactly, but something in Bucky's words turned your insides into a warm puddle of goo.
Oh, you were going to be in trouble, indeed.
Next Part ->
#bucky x reader#bucky barnes#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x reader#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky x you#mcu bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#james barnes#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x y/n
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Alright yall imagine this with me
Part two
You’re a YouTuber with a somewhat popular following of around 35k. Considering how close you are with the fans you have they are fully aware of your major crush on the popular guitarist Yuji Itdadori. Something about that pink haired man just had you in a chokehold real bad. The things you wanted to do to him just for him to not notice you at all was absolutely insane😫. On a serious note you decided to challenge your fans to see how willing they are to embarrass you on your social media. “Hey you guys I’ve noticed how close we are to 50k and I thank you all so much and I love you all. I’ve decided to create a little challenge for you guys to spice things up. If we can get to 50k by the end of the year I'll personally contact my favorite YouTuber, which y'all should know who that is by now and I'll try to see if he'll be willing to Collab with me." You continue on with your video and call it a night thinking nothing of it.
You wake up around 2pm and get ready for your day. Washing your face, brushing your teeth, fixing up your hair and all of that good stuff. You set your mind to ordering food rather than making anything, especially considering the fact that you have videos you need to edit. "Alright y/n let's get this shit started so we don't have to do anything later". You sit on he couch with your laptop in hand and quickly get to work. Around 15 minutes go by and you hear a knock at your door. "Ouuu that's my food!" You say while hopping out of your couch. You rush to the door and open it. You see a boy who looks no order than 18 who has your bag of food. You see the boys face go from completely uninterested to wide eyed with his jaw literally touching the floor. "You're Y/N! Like the YouTuber" he says excitedly. "Oh yea wassup" "I'm such a big fan! Can I have a picture?!" The excited boy said quickly. "I don't look the best right now but I'll let ya slide since you brought me food" you say. You take your picture with him and he gives you your food. You rush back to your couch to continue your editing while you eat your food
...
You post your video and soon after begin your nighty routine and soon hope into your bed. You're scrolling through Instagram when you see him. Yuji Itadori. Something about him makes you melt into a big ass puddle of water. All of those tattoos covering his arms. Ouuu those arms, those big juicy arms. He's just all around sexy and many others can definitely agree. He's a big YouTuber with around 500k subscribers easy. You wonder how you could even get someone like him to notice you. You chose to ignore all those thoughts for now and go to sleep. You feel your eyes become heavy as you lay your head on your pillow and almost fall asleep immediately.
You wake up to a few notifications on your phone. A couple of likes on your new video and some tweets. You yawn and get up to do your morning routine. Once done you sit on bed you look at your phone. 'maybe my video will blow up if I post it on TikTok' you thought. Thinking nothing of it you decide to post some clips of your video to TikTok to see if you can at least reach your goal. Now don't get me wrong you knew there was a possibility your goal could have been met but trying to get the Yuji Itadori to Collab with you was gonna be hard as hell. Especially considering the fact he has over 500k subscribers. 500k!!!! You're not even at 100k, but you made a promise to your fans. You chose to ignore it for the night and went to bed.
Over the next few weeks your Tiktoks as well as your YouTube video have been blowing up like crazy. You already passed your goal of 50k completely, reaching around 100 thousand new subscribers. You kept your part of the deal and texted Itadori a few weeks ago but have yet to have a response by the pink haired man. "I don't know you guys I already contacted him on his social media and his email. Maybe he just don't wanna Collab or something" you say into the camera as you attempt to bake a cake for your channel. You wanted to celebrate hitting a milestone of 150k but there was one problem.....you couldn't cook for shit nor could you bake. But that didn't stop you're hussle to try...plus you're fans voted for you to do it. "Alright y'all I'm done with this damn mixing now I'm finna put this shit into the oven. Let's hope and pray I don't burn it" you say jokingly. You pause your camera and sit on a chair near your table when you heard a ding on your phone. Thinking nothing of it you open you phone and began to read the notification. Your eyes widen as you continue reading. "Dear Ms. Y/N, sorry if you're receiving this email unexpectedly. Sorry I'm just not responding to you're email you sent me. I wasn't aware of any emails being sent to me considering the can't my management team is responsible for all emails and calls I have. If you're still willing to Collab with me I'll be happy to make something work so we can make some videos together. After all you made a promise to you're fans lol. If you still want to Collab please respond to my email whenever but I might not respond quickly because of my schedule. I hope I wasn't too late with my response, if I wasn't please email me back or text me on my socials. Sincerely, Yuji~.
You stare at the email in shock and quickly begin to write an email back, telling him whenever you're free. Youre so in shock that you don't even think to take you're cake out or even check on it. That is until you hear your smoke detector go off. "Oh shit my cake" you say as you jump out of your chair.
...
Hey you guys I was wondering if I should make this just a oneshot or if I should continue this and make it into a series. If I don't make it into a series it'll definitely be my first one. I was also wondering what should I make Itadori's channel about. Should it be cooking, sports, music or gaming. I have absolutely no clue about these topics so I'll just make a poll about both of them and the most votes wins.!
#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#itadori x y/n#jjk itadori#yuji itadori#jjk x poc!reader#jjk fluff#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk yuuji#jjk yuji
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what’s your favorite books as of now?? i’d love to hear you talk about them if you have some
HAHA this has to be honestly one of the most endearing asks i've ever had in my inbox. fair warning, i will literally be talking a lot for this one because i am first and foremost a nerd before all else. all links bring you to the books' respective goodreads page :)
remember to read through the content / trigger warnings of each book before you read them! reading should never come at the expense of your own mental well-being. be wise.
my number one current favourite novel is these violent delights by chloe gong. it's actually the first book in a duology, but i've been procrastinating on the second novel lol. the premise is a romeo & juliette retelling set in 1920s shanghai with a mafia setting and childhood lovers turned bitter enemies. it's one of my favourite tropes ever, and these violent delights executed it beautifully. honestly unsurrpised that it was as much of a hit as it was because god. it deserves it.
i also really, really, really love the seven husbands of evelyn hugo with my whole heart. the premise of it is positively stunning and i'm a sucker for tragic gay people. i lowkey jumped into it half-blind sided by the cool edits i found on instagram only to get smacked in the face with a lot more depth than meets the eye. the line about non-sexual intimacy in this book both smothered me to death and brought me back to life. i read this book in one day and walked out of it gasping for air.
i am also into the invisible life of addie larue due to the poignant way the author depicts a life without being remembered... even if the ending brutally demolished me. it was the epitome of 'immortality is a curse,' for me and it was just. fuck, man. it's fucking brilliant from the beginning to the end, and it's just a novel that i hold very close to my heart.
now, i know you said books, but i will be incomplete if not for the fanfiction i read. therefore, i will list all-time favourite fanfiction (that i remember right now). all of them are linked to archive of our own <3
being neck-deep in satosugu hell right now, i will have to start with them. i'd like to begin with my two favourite satosugu fanfictions which are caesura by cielelyse, otherwise known as the only canon 15 satosugu in my mind ever. the dynamic is fucking insane, and i cried a lot when i read it. there is also, of course, and carry my home by valleykey which i have reread despite the fact that it's 50k words and killed me brutally the first time. it follows 17!satosugu who gets time traveled towards the present time / pre-shibuya. it goes about as well as you would expect it to be.
other fics that also brutally murdered me and made me physically cry was punishment for a monster by mimiquack (suguru loses his memories post-shibuya and lives a non-sorcerer life; satoru copes...or something), i'd like the sun to set with you by chuuyasoup (satoru goes with suguru that day in shinjuku), smile like brass by chuuyasoup (role reversal au that starts with suguru being too late on that day), and laundry and taxes by hamsterqinghua (everything, everywhere, all at once au, you can guess where it goes from here). these are all angst fics that ripped a hand through my ribs and crushed my heart in their palms. there's more, but. well.
my favourite satosugu smut fics (because i am, after all, a smut author) is the midnight rendezvous series by damiselart. also, let's climb the cliff and jump again by ruche which hm, i suppose technically counts as an age gap fic because it's 28!satoru getting his shit rocked by 17!suguru (time travel finicky stuff; you know how it goes). and then, there are also these two other fics, lovesick lullabye and i'm done carrying the weight of this world (i just wanna feel this love) which are both by pastelcoloureddreams.
now, onto my next idiotic duo, i would like to present soukoku (dazai osamu / nakahara chuuya from bsd) and my favourite fics for them. starting off strong as a combination one of my favourite ships and one of my favourite books, i'd like to present empire of dirt by arkastadt which is a the seven husbands of evelyn hugo inspired soukoku fanfic with similar premise, but a massively different setting & plot. one of the best known soukoku fics for a reason. there is also, of course, i step from here without you by chuuyasoup that follows soukoku throughout the multiverse and murdered me in cold blood by the time it was done. genuinely one of the best fics i have ever read ever.
onto smut soukoku fics, everyone welcome bottom of the deep blue sea by arkastadt which is the only soukoku smut fic ever. you cannot ask me to give you a smut recommendation better than this. the premise is gorgeous, featuring an arrogant and self-assured dazai who challenges chuuya to make him cry and chuuya does. it's so fucking good.
there's definitely more that i've cut back from this list due to laziness, but feel free to ask for more if you're still interested! i was also neckdeep in hell in genshin & voltron & boku no hero academia for a while, so i should have fic recs for them, too, but i'm too lazy to hunt them down right now. if you want me to, just shoot me another ask and i'll drop the recs in the future <3
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part 1 of how rubicon got written is here. this is part 2, aka the essay about etc.
the thing about the storyboarding/drafting process that there is no way to describe is how totally obsessed i was for the duration. afterwards i tweeted something like, this is the closest i've ever experienced to demonic possession. i would get up, write all day—like, all day—and go to bed. turn off the lights. then i would just lie wide awake in the dark with lines and scenes and dialogue scrolling through my head until i gave in and opened my notes app. i could not turn it off even if i wanted to. and i didn't want to, i was riding that streak as far as it would take me. because i couldn't look down, right? i could sense what i was attempting to do and anything other than total tunnel vision full speed ahead eyes on the prize would mean i had to acknowledge it.
(context of what made this possible: i was unemployed at the time.)
for the first ~50k or so i was afraid that at any minute i could falter. when i got to the nationals meltdown, that was when i knew i could do it. like, no matter what happened after that, i had the willpower and the chops and i knew where i was going. even if the streak died.
but it didn't. i wrote 100k in a little under 4 weeks. i've never experienced anything like that in my creative life.
—then obviously i had to get a new job and come back down to earth and it took 21 months to get from there to posting the epilogue. still. i will probably be chasing that high for the rest of my life. that was the part that like… made the rest of it possible. no matter how difficult or frustrating it was. that generated the roadmap.
i've talked about this before in comments but i had insanely strong opinions about what was "right" and what wasn't. sylvain's narrative voice was a huge part of that. it's inextricable from the content; it shaped the story; it is the story. for the first couple months it also made me an unhinged stylistic tyrant. if there was one single unnecessary word that struck me as inorganic, as existing solely to make the sentence more digestible or to convey information beyond the fourth wall, it had to go. i could not rest until it did.
once again: this is not generally the relationship i have with writing. lol. it's the demonic possession talking. this is why you have a ton of sentence fragments and stylistic tics and a refusal to let one single shred of information into the text that did not strike me as something sylvain would plausibly think or acknowledge he was thinking. and like, yeah. probably it didn't always make for the smoothest reading experience or the most satisfying narrative development. i'm dead certain there are people who picked this fic up and the bumps drove them out of their mind until they threw in the towel. i just didn't care.
part of that was a reaction to my own old style—you know, the discomfort of shedding old skin. i'd look at those early scene attempts and see all the habits and crutches i'd been trying to move away from over the last two years and double down on The Voice. but part of it… i would get early feedback that wasn't at all wrong, like "what if [clarifying narration]," "what if [more interaction]," and i'd just think, but that's not true. in exactly those words! which is crazy.
(this is why it was fortunate this was fanfiction i was writing for free, i didn't have to compromise my bonkers experience any more than i wanted to.)
to be clear this feeling didn't last two years. i was eventually able to edit like a normal person. it did last probably longer than ideal. and the point when i was no longer running on unleaded creative adrenaline was when i started to really struggle with the middle of the story. i had to make choices as a writer, instead of relying on the purity of my divine vision or whatever, and i second-guessed myself a lot. it was much easier to feel that absolute bone-deep certainty of Right and Wrong, True and False. and the thought of fucking up when i'd gotten so far was unbearable—like, being so close to making the thing in my head reality and then dropping the ball and breaking the suspension of disbelief.
distance also made it possible to perceive what i was doing and be like, jesus mer what the fuck are you doing. why are you devoting so much of your time to a hobby, why are you investing so much of your life in something you will never be able to truly share, why are you living in a hole with no one else in it. why are you putting yourself through the wringer to get it down "right." why does it matter if it's as good as it can be. why do you care. why is this worth it.
i assume this was pretty obvious before this post, but if not it must be now. this story isn't really about figure skating. for me it's about writing; who knows what it's about for you. i didn't sit down and think, great, felix will be a metaphor. that's just how it happens.
the experience of writing a novel for the first time: i'm saying this with my whole chest because at one point i wouldn't have, aloud. but what's the point in calling it anything else? i know exactly how much i invested in this. i'm the only one who can know. that's sort of the point.
here's a giant collage of the inside of my head. i made it for myself and i take it very seriously. not exactly groundbreaking to say this is the ultimate exercise in solipsism. when you're doing that—what greater gift is there than to have someone else meet you in exactly the same place. any writer would kill for the kind of responses this story has gotten, and i don't mean praise. i mean the close reads, the free response essays, the total and complete validation that this thing inside your head that only you can see is real, actually. when i say thank you, it's not for liking it or praising it—it's for taking it seriously. i loved this thing. i still love this thing. thank you for taking it seriously.
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hello everyone ❤️🥰👋 so, apologies in advance for what's about to be a very long post, but today is a sentimental day for me, because it is - guess what - exactly one year since i posted my first-ever f1 rpf fic and in so doing officially joined this incredible, insane, "i've never felt this way about a pairing before" fandom.
that's right. one year ago today, on the 2nd of June 2022, i, katie singsweetmelodies, posted my fic ils se connaissent par coeur - which is, of course, about piarles, and incidentally also about monaco 2022 (which, as it happens, was the first f1 race i properly followed/watch live on f1tv.) needless to say, this was a bit of a defining moment for me, fandom-wise. i mean, if you had told me one year ago that i would proceed to write over two hundred thousand words for f1 rpf, i would have laughed in your face. but here i am today, with 225184 words currently posted to AO3 on this account - and still counting!
i know everyone always says "this fandom is special" and whatnot - but in this case, for me, it really is. i mean, for fuck's sake, i wrote SMUT, if nothing else. i've certainly never done that before (or, at least, i've never published it before. but now i've got probably 50k of it available in full explicit detail on AO3... needless to say, this fandom has bewitched me mind, body and soul.)
it hasn't always been a fun ride - i mean, how could it be, i chose to be a fucking FERRARI fan - but at this point i would like to do the biggest, most whole-hearted shoutout to all the amazing, incredible people i've met along the way. yes, i've had good fandom friends before. but the ones in this fandom feel special in a way i can't quite put into words, but you just are, and i want to thank each and every one of you so, so much for it. you guys have brightened my days and my dashboard, made me laugh and made me groan out loud, made me ship things i never would have considered otherwise, and been some of the most wonderfully supportive souls i've ever had the pleasure of meeting. it has been an honour and a pleasure getting to be in this fandom with you all, and at this point all i can say is: here's to many, many more years!! ❤️❤️❤️
now, to end this all off with a hopefully full-circle moment: i started this all in monaco, so before the end of tonight, i am going to post the monaco chapter of my latest WIP (all that remains is editing those bits i wrote at 2am, lmao, and then my full circle 2 June moment will be complete.)
and all there's left to say, once again, is thank you. thank you all, for everything. i love and appreciate you all more than words can possibly say ❤️💙
#katie rambles#a whole fucking YEAR guys!!#not to be all sentimental but... it does feel like i've known some of you forever#posting that first fic with so much hesitation feels like a LIFETIME ago fr#this fandom has made me feel so welcome in the most beautiful; beautiful way#and i love you all for it. i love you ALL#it has been an honour and an absolute pleasure#and; seriously; here's to many more years. SO many more!!#(PS: if we have interacted in any tiny way; then you are my bestie tonight. i love you. I LOVE YOU. thank you so much. *hugs tightly*)
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So, like, what do you do if a fic is longer than you expected it to be? 💀💀💀
HAHAHA. HA. um. god i wish i had a good answer for you baby.
i guess the question is this: HOW much longer is it? bc like, for me, most of my fics end up......... 10-40% longer than expected. if my initial expectation was 10k words and it ends up 14k, that's manageable. but if i expected it to be 50k and it turns out that it needs to be like. 75k. oof.
for me the other question is how invested you are. right now i am writing a canonverse (but canon divergent) mellonear fic that is— so far (we'll see what editing it down does)— looking like it'll be 15k ishhhh. i meant for it to be, like, 8k. literally have a note saying "8k or less." but i added some elements / points that i'm profoundly invested in, so even if it does take another 7k, i feel it would be worth it. take for another example voted most likely— it's currently 65k, easily think it'll be 100k. but i love it so much. i really want to finish it— though i think it'll take me & dee a long time to get there, and though i don't think it'll be simple by any means, i like it enough that i want to see it through.
now, on the other hand. i have countless— like, for death note alone, at least 25-30— ideas that i won't end up writing in full. these are ideas that compel me but that i just don't see being doable in a small enough word count for the amount that they compel me, if that makes sense. this might not always be the case for all of them!! actually, my current aforementioned canonverse WIP is a combination of 3 different WIP ideas that i didn't think would ever get finished. to be fair... this one. isn't finished lmfao. but i do think it'll get there (pray 4 me babes).
uhhhh. i dunno if i said anything of value here but i think it boils down to: 1) how insane is the length gonna be? 2) does it need to be that long? (the answer is often yes! but it's worth seriously considering) and 3) how much do you love it? once you weigh all of these i think you can make a choice. as a girlie who almost never has ideas that can be executed in under 10k words, it's hard out here!!! but ultimately it's also usually a pretty good time. write stuff you really, really want to write, and it does get easier, though in my experience it's rarely actually easy. godspeed, good luck, and all my love to you, anon ❣️
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Nanwum VII Update: 72,197
I'm starting to run out of gas, which is probably not a big deal since I already cleared 50k, but this bears out my whole strategy of building an early lead. My intention was to pull down 2k per day from the 13th to the end of the month, and I'm still on track, but on the 14th I fell a little behind and only got to 1709. It's not a problem, since I got caught up, but I need to be careful from here if I want to make it to 100k. Not that I need 100k, but I like bragging rights.
To reward myself for the insane wordcounts I put in earlier this month, I decided to watch all of the recent DBZ review videos that TotallyNotMark put up. You know, the ones with the new Team Four Star DBZA clips in them. I'd already watched the "Buu Bits" in a separate compilation video, but now I'm finally checking out the review and...
I don't know, there's a lot of good material in these things. The editing is top notch, and you could play these videos with the sound off and still enjoy it just as an hours-long DBZ highlight reel. And Mark has a lot of salient insights on the series. I particularly liked his analysis of Gohan and Videl's dynamic, and it's also refreshing to see a DBZ fan who, you know, actually likes the show. Like, he's gushing over Vegeta's character arc, or talking about how great the androids and Cell are without a bunch of qualifiers, and it's just refreshing to see that.
That having been said, the writing for these videos often ends up sounding like this:
Like, arguably, you can't do a six-hour review of a cartoon show without being a little pretentious, but there's sentences in these videos where it feels like YouTube is paying Mark by the word.
Also, he tends to make these off-the-cuff style remarks, like he's discussing creative decisions about making the video in the video. I get that too. I write my blog with that same stream-of-consciousness energy, because I really am making this up as I go. It's a blog, there's not gonna be a second draft. But he's doing a YouTube video, and there's a lot of production values involved and the work is pretty polished. I don't think it makes a lot of sense for him to talk about how the sausage is made. Just give me the sausage, which is footage of the cartoon with a guy telling me what he liked about it.
I've sort of had this fascination with the writing style throughout the series, and I think if I had to spoof it, I'd go with something like this:
"Again, as I said before earlier in this video, when I started this review, I wanted to avoid sounding pretentious, an attribute the likes of which can be disastrous for the making of a successful review. But, having established that fact firmly and decisviely, perhaps even conclusively--not withstanding earlier comments made about the length of Piccolo's cape, which is a subject for another day-- I can say with great certainty that Goku and Vegeta do indeed comprise a dramaturgical dyad, not only upon which the series depends upon, but through which we can see the true genius of one of the most influential manga authors of all time."
And while you hear this word salad, there's a cool shot of Vegeta beating up Pui Pui or something.
The weird thing is that I didn't really pick up on this in his GT, Super, or OG Dragon Ball review videos. It's almost like he's purposely writing more stuff so he has room for all the cool footage.
Right now I'm in the tail end of the Buu Saga, and while I give him credit for being diplomatic about it, Mark still falls into the same trap I see with a lot of critiques of the Buu Saga: They keep comparing the existing text with some hypothetical better story that they assumed Toriyama was planning to write instead, before he changed his mind.
I think everyone has run across this before. People saw Gohan take the main-character role after the Cell Games and assumed this was a guarantee. When Gohan gets demoted and Goku takes the lead again, they cry foul and complain about how Toriyama failed to make it work, or he just plain gave up. There's an old fan rumor about how he was "forced" to put Goku back in charge because of backlash from angry fans, but this is absurd on its face.
This leads to critiques of the Buu Saga that operate on the premise that there's some idealized "correct" version of the story, where Gohan trains really hard, beats Buu all by himself, and so on. Whenever the published version of the story deviates from this "correct" version, critics suggest that Toriyama got his wires crossed, and blame everything on the awkward pivot back to Goku.
To me, that doesn't make sense. "Gohan and the Next Generation defeat Buu" is a what-if fan theory. Maybe it's better than what we ended up getting, but it's not fair to review the published work by comparing it to a hypothetical draft that may never have existed. That's like if a food critic gave a steakhouse a bad rating because he thought it was a pizzeria and he's still mad that his sirloin didn't have anchovies on it.
When you look at the Buu Saga as it was actually presented, the throughline is clearly not about passing the torch to the kids, because they all get jobbed out and killed. So it's dumb to review the thing and complain that the Gotenks stuff is pointless, and Gohan's power up is unearned, and his loss to Super Buu really sucks the life out of the story, and gosh, this is a really terrible passing-the-torch story. Well that's because it's not a passing-the-torch story. It's a story about Goku trying to pass the torch, failing, and discovering that he still has a place in the world after all. The "torch" he was trying to pass was his identity and personal responsibility, things he can't just confer on someone else.
You can't just tell someone else they're the new protagonist of your story and now they have to go do your job and feed your pets while you play video games. Everyone talks about Vegeta going Majin as a manifestation of his mid-life crisis, but Goku's mid-life crisis was him dying at age 30 and nope-ing his way out of life to train in Valhalla for the rest of eternity. The Buu Saga forced him to accept that this was a mistake, which is why he doesn't just drink a vial full of heart-virus juice after the story ends. He's back in the world of the living and this time he knows he needs to stay there.
And when you look at it from that perspective, suddenly all the Gotenks/Elder Kai Ritual stuff makes a lot more sense as awkward farce. It's anticlimactic and unsatisfying because none of those plans were ever going to work. Nothing worked until Goku and Vegeta both got their heads out of their asses and worked together. The world didn't need martyrs or torch-passings or a 'next generation', it needed adults to put their personal feelings aside for the greater good.
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A look at RT from a fellow digital media employee
Oof, so RT scandal am I right?
I haven't been in the fandom since ~2018 but following all of this (and specifically the alleged workplace conditions) I thought I'd throw in my two cents as someone who grew up idolizing the company, has chosen to go into digital media because of them and now works in the industry (thankfully not for them).
This will be a long boi (organized into a tumblr-friendly numbered list) based on what I know of the industry in the US, both my own experiences(all thoughts and opinions are my own) & what I've seen of my peers' experiences.
This is also useful info for those interested in pursuing a career in studio-based anim, vfx & game design fields.
To throw in my own cred, I was a member of the RT (and specifically AH & AH art) community from about 2014 to 2018, Monty's work inspired me to pursue my own interests in digital media in a professional sense. I went to uni with my dream internship/job being RT (thankfully that didn't come true). Since then I've graduated and got a job within the industry. So, thanks to having a pretty nice sample of recent grads joining the industry as well as doing my own research on wages and positions before graduation in prep I wanted to take a look at some of the claims and numbers I've been seeing mentioned in this whole mess.
None of this is in defense of RT or in contempt of the ex-employees. RT is a company. People deserve other people's support against a corporation.
Starting with the most quantifiable thing: ✨wages✨. Digital media encompasses a variety of fields - animation, gamedev, vfx, ux etc. & salaries will vary based on both the location and the field that the job is in. From what I've seen among my peers, the avg pay for an entry-level position is about 50-60k for non-LA Bay area jobs(for those add ~ extra 10k from the cost of living). This is not counting additional pay such as overtime, relocation, severance(although I don't know a single person in the field with this condition), or bonuses. Adjusting to what I know of Texas industry salaries, I'd put a good starting industry salary for Austin at 40-50k a year (~20-~25 an hour). Motion Graphics and editing usually pay a bit less than 3D anim positions so the pay could be 5-10k lower than that, which would fucking suck when it comes to cost of living but still doesn't reach the 20k mentioned by Kdin.(20-40k for an LA-based position is just disturbing). Remember that digital media is considered a specialized occupation and generally requires a bachelor's degree (doesn't mean you HAVE to have one) to enter a field so that should be reflected in the salary.
Now onto the most unfortunate part of the industry: overtime (OT) is an industry standard. Everyone joining the industry knows that going in (at least coming out of college). The difference here is that companies should be open about the expected OT/month. My employer for example (all thoughts and opinions are still my own btw) was very clear on how much OT I'd have per month before signing a contract and I am compensated for it. Usually, those who don't get OT comped get higher starting pay. VFX (especially compositing dept) has infamously horrible conditions with insane levels of un-comped OT, crunch, low job security, burnout, and low wages but that at least is an open secret.
Crunch is not just overtime, crunch is sustained OT that exceeds usual expectations. It is more prevalent in studios that have to answer to a client & haven't heard that much about crunch from anim houses now that I think about it? if someone has more experience with serialized anim prod & conditions i'd love to hear from a more reliable source.
To address people's concerns about why certain people(current employees) don't speak up I've seen people bring up NDAs.A Non Disclosure Agreement covers sensitive & internal data (both company secrets and personal identifiable info). An NDA break can be litigated so it's obvious employees don't want to break it. That wouldn't be what is stopping people rn, commenting on this situation would probably fall under some sort of employment guideline. Digital media companies often have extensive guidelines as to what an employee can and cannot say about the company, things that happen in the company, the employees of the company, and other things like this. Now, a breach of guidelines wouldn't be a legal issue, it would just be breaking the contract and be grounds to either have some sort of action against the employee or termination of the contract. It's understandable why folks don't want to lose their jobs for speaking up but the "trouble" they'd get in wouldn't be as big as THE COURT.
I saw someone (don't remember who because of how much info has been coming out) mention offhand RT promising assistance with a work visa & not delivering on the promise & I wanted to quickly bring that up because of my own experiences with this. What they're talking about here is an H-1B lottery application(yes in order to get a work visa in the US you need to win a lottery). This is a process in which the employer(!) petitions the gov't for a non-immigrant work visa for a prospective (or current because these fuckers expire & you have to do the whole lottery all over) employee. There is a lot of documentation, applications, and fees involved, which is why few companies undertake trying to hire international employees. Those who do are at the scale where they have their own immigration attorneys and the H-1B application process is outsourced to a separate law firm. Financially I don't know enough int'l employees to give a blanket statement, but for me, the H-1B application cost was covered by the company and was written into the contract. The records for what companies entered the H-1B lottery are available online & I think like 3 years ago I remember seeing RT having 2-3 applications total?
Union efforts. I don't have a single acquaintance who works under a union in the industry because no one is unionized. I'm not saying RT shouldn't unionize, but their issues seem so far beyond what I've seen at any other company that it's not even comparable to some digital media startups I've seen.
Lastly, I wanted to bring up something extremely subjective when it comes to the field. Any sort of decision of staying or leaving a production company relies on the people you work with, the creative fulfillment, and the stability of your position. Unfortunately, the industry is full of short-term gig positions & project-based contractors. The projects you work on won't be yours, the length of you having a stable income is always up in the air, while the industry is mostly located in the most expensive cities in the country. It's a tough one.
So tldr; the overall digital media field is not peachy with its work conditions but holly fuck what the fuck RT.
And remember kids:
If a potential employer promises something, make sure it's stated in your contract~ otherwise, the promise carries no weight.
Always negotiate the terms of employment! You might not get a higher starting salary but you might get a bonus or some other benefit!
If you want to earn a lot of money in digital media become a tech artist or a rigger.
#rooster teeth#rt#achievement hunter#ah#dear lord i haven't used these tags for so long#rly brings me back to an oof simpler time#don't idolize companies kids it never ends well#digital media career tips i guess
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hi lovely! i have a serious question. so when i write sometimes the most i can squeak out is 10k and i’m not sure why. i feel like maybe i’m missing something that could allow my writing to be longer.
ik that you always write the juciest longest fics that i ADORE, and i would love to write a long fic to maybe post here or on ao3 (like around 40-50k words) and i have the idea of what it will be about.
do you have any tips on how to elongate my writing if that makes sense😭 like is there a certain amount of words you write in a day for a story? do i just need to sit down and write for a certain amount of time? will details help?
ANYTHING would be helpful, thank you 💕
hmm this is a good question!! it has taken me a lot of time to get myself to this point honestly which just is a lot of practice and working at it. and part of it is my style, i'm long-winded and like telling long stories (sometimes people call me boring, but i like to think i am just indulgent) so i end up writing a lot!! if it's not your style, that's totally okay - but also, if you want to write longer things, practice will always help!
also one thing i've noticed is that having an outline will help me in some ways, but being too detailed limits me, if that makes sense? i have a loose guideline to keep me moving, but i let myself indulge in moments and emotions and stuff like that, and i feel like that adds a lot more space than people realize! i also have ocd and a very obsessive/addictive relationship with writing most of the time, so i have a habit of wanting everything to be written out and wanting everything to be just right, so i will write a LOT in pursuit of that! whether that is good or bad i don't know - i think it might just be what it is!
oh also - i always write more if i put myself in my ideal like. writing situation. i've trained myself at this point to be able to write pretty much anywhere using anything, but if i have the right conditions, i can crank out thousands in a day. for me, it's listening to specific music, having no social distractions, and putting aside everything except what i'm writing. i really zone in on it and put myself in that place and then there's just SO much i want to get out about what i can see and feel and experience that so many words come with it
i do not know at all if this is helpful!! i feel like i'm awful at giving advice because most of what i do has boiled down to trial and error, but also maybe that's my advice?? don't be afraid to fail and make mistakes and try new things and find out what works for you!! if you are happy and passionate about what you're writing, i think you'll want to write more of it!! and remember - just get it out! it doesn't need to be good, it just needs to exist, and you can always edit later! don't be too worried about what you're writing while you're writing it; just write, and everything else can come later! judgment-free creativity also lets me write lots more because i just trust myself and move through what i want to be writing to refine later!
okay that's so many words i'm so sorry. but i guess that's also in the spirit of your question?? i love you so much!! i hope this helps!! i am always here to talk!! i'm sorry i'm insane!!
#nptnewr#answered#I'M NOT GOOD AT ADVICE#i want to be#but i'm not#but i do hope this helps#bc i want to help u#ur a hero to me#on writing#personal ramblings#long post
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hi! i hope you’re doing well :)
i was wondering, how often do you write? and how much do you write during one writing session? or do you not care about the word count at all?
i usually open at least one of my word docs every day, even just to make small edits (i edit as i write, i dont save all my editing for when the whole thing is finished, though i do still proof a fic multiple times before it's posted). i don't have any sort of writing goals for myself when it comes to word count or how often i write or even editing every day like i just said. having any sort of rules (or even "guides" or "suggestions") would make approaching writing way too intimidating for me and just put way too much pressure and stress on something that's supposed to be fun for me. writing fic is truly one of the things that i can confidently say i love and i do for myself (i post so others can read, but i ultimately write for me) and i always want to keep it as something that i look forward to doing at the end of the day, not dread.
i understand for some writers, having a daily or weekly word goal is helpful, but i'd always recommend setting that really low (500 words/day or smth) bc you can always surpass it and be happy and motivated to write even more, but if you set it way too high (5000 words/day) you'll probably never be able to meet that every day and will feel like you've failed at something that was supposed to be fun, and then dread opening that word document.
if i can feel that i've gotten stuck on a wip, i let myself work on other wips, or not write at all. your mind will continue working in the background while you do other stuff (sleep, shower—why so many good ideas come to us in the shower, read other people's fic). i just try to stay aware of when i've officially been avoiding a wip for "too long." this can be any amount of time, depending on how internally motivated i am to finish it, but often times coming back two weeks, a month later with fresh(er) eyes, i can then try to figure out what was making me stuck and try to solve it (whether it was pacing—usually the culprit, how all these disjointed scenes i have planned are going to go together, they confessed—now what?, etc.)
so yeah, while some days i may write almost 10k (insane), 5k, 2k (more typical), there's others where im purposefully avoiding my wips. i also don't ever have a target total word count in mind when i start a fic. sometimes i think an idea is just going to be a "cute 5k" and then it ends up at over 20k (which seems to....always happen) and sometimes i get an idea and i know that in order to fully explore it like i want, it's going to be an investment of 20-50k. but if it ends up longer or shorter, that's never really intentional on my part. i just write until it's done
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okay I just started reading a study of resonance
is.. is this a ship fic.. cause it's not tagged at all as that..
LOL I love that I’m the person you’re asking this when the author in fact also has a tumblr
I don’t personally read it that way, and I don’t think it’s intended to be read as a shipfic (so it’s not tagged as one), and I definitely wouldn’t describe it as particularly romantic, but the homoeroticism doesn’t stay purely subtextual either. The story just isn’t really about the relationship between Percy and Tom, but rather the impact everything going on, including that relationship, has on Percy’s psyche if that makes sense.
[edit for additional thoughts]
Like, as the self-assigned tompercy person, if you only saw my blog and then you started reading A Study of Resonance I absolutely see why you’d think ASOR is tompercy shipfic, but that is also not at all the intended order of viewing things. I simply read it and, as media tends to inflict upon me, I immediately became insane about the most toxic pairing available to me and started posting about them. But I implore you to at first cast tompercy out of your mind when you read ASOR, and view Percy and Tom with clear eyes. A Study of Resonance isn’t at all a romance.
But if you, by chance, see what I saw, I’ve written like 50k of tompercy fanfic inspired by ASOR so that’s my personal burden to bear.
#tompercy#a study of resonance#asks#it is HILARIOUS that I got this ask btw#mymovingfingerwrites is Right There /silly
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The Royal Romance.
Love Everlasting.
A/N: I had a different name and plot for this fic over a year ago. But after being in the RP community for more than a year, I've decided to write the current Royal Life of my favorite OTP.
Rated: Mature (at times can and will be Explicit. I'll be sure to change the rating when and if that happens). | Contains sexual content and strong language. (You know? The usual. Y'all should be used to this from me by now 😁) | Bolded and/or italicized words are conversations and thoughts of the characters. | Main Characters: King Marquise Rys (LI) and Queen Shanelle Miller-Rys (MC) | All Characters and names: (except MC and original characters created by me and/or other authors [their characters have been mentioned and/or used in the story with their permission] ) are property of Pixelberry.
Current Word Count: 50K words. (may be slightly more or may be slightly less. Look, I stop counting after editing and re-editing and driving myself insane. 🤷🏾♀️)
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This series is rated Mature and/or Explicit. It is NOT reading material that is safe for those under 18. Reader discretion is STRONGLY advised!
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Matrimony. Part 5.
“What am I supposed to do with these?” he asked.
“Yup. I shoulda pushed harder for you to take Sex Ed when they offered it,” she replies.
“You serious?” he asked.
“We're drunk. And the tension is steadily rising. Besides, this is your last hurrah, Hotshot. Take it or leave it,” she replies.
“Man, I'm gonna enjoy this.”.
She grabbed him by his hair and kissed him. He was shocked and turned on at the same time. He broke their kiss so he could breathe.
"Well, that was fun.”
"You've been wanting to do that since you saw me.”
"If he finds out—"
"He already knows. Next question."
"What do you mean he knows?" He asks.
"He knows that I'm about to turn you into a whore." She replies.
“How?” he asked
"Who do you think set this all up genius?” she replied.
Cass made a face.
"Damn! There go my bragging rights.”
"Blah! Blah! Blah! Get naked!"
He shook his head at her before kissing her again. He couldn't wait to have her. And he didn't care how that looked. He picked her up, wrapped her legs around his waist, and carried her back into the bedroom.
"I...have...been...dying...to...fuck...you!" He said in between kisses.
"You talk too much!"
"You love it."
It didn't take them long to get each other naked. He took a moment to admire her naked body.
"Like what you see?" She asked with a wink.
"Of course. You've always been beautiful." He whispered.
He went from kissing her to going straight to the treasure between her thighs. The one thing she lives about him is didn't waste time. He had to taste her again. It had been years since he had her like this. So he went straight for her center and buried his face in it. He licked, sucked, nibbled, and kissed her sweet snatch all the while rubbing his face in it, making sure he was coated with her juices. She moaned loudly as he ate her out.
Once her thighs started to close around his neck he knew she was going to break. So he grabbed her thighs and plunged his tongue inside her. He felt her body shake as she screamed again and flooded his face with her nectar. He looked at her smiling as she caught her breath. He was happy because he knew he still got it.
"Sweet as sugar." He said as he licked his fingers.
She rolled her eyes.
"Don't get cocky. You still haven't proven anything."
"Don't believe me just watch!"
"Have I mentioned that you talk too much?" She asked.
Rather than answer her, he kisses her hard before grabbing her and flipping her onto her stomach then mounting her. With a condom on, Cassian was ready to take her right then and there.
"What are you waiting for? Let's go!" She dared him.
It was on then.
He closed his eyes then drove himself straight into her and began fucking her senseless. He wanted her to know and feel how he missed her. He pounded that sweet treasure for what he felt was an eternity. The sounds their bodies made as he crashed into her again and again coupled with her feminine scent made him dizzy.
"Don't you dare slow down! Give it to me!" She shouted.
He intensified his rhythm just for her.
"That's my girl! Tell me you want this dick!" He growled.
He loves hearing her scream bloody murder as he took her. She was close to her climax and he knew it because he was as well. That's when she screamed at the very top of her lungs and unloaded onto him. She felt so damn good to him.
He stayed still for a moment before pulling out of her. He marveled at the sight before him. They were both exhausted and satisfied. He curled up with her in his arms. Just the way he always wanted.
"I feel like a whore!” he said to her.
"You are a whore, Cass.”
He grumbled.
"This is the way, it should be. It should be you and me."
"It should be but it is Cass. As much as we love each other, we never would've gone the distance.”
He sighed.
"I know but still. I was never ready to let you go."
“Likewise. But holding on to you wouldn't have been fair to either of us. Besides, what's done is done. I don't hate you. I will always cherish what we had and what we were.”
"You could always back out and come back to me.”
"I could. But I've come too far now. I am way too close to destiny. Too close to my destiny. I can't leave now.” she replied.
Case shook his head.
"You've always been an overachiever, Princess.”
"Always will be.”
She let his sword necklace play with the pads of her fingers.
"I will never forget the look on your face when I gave you this.”
"Yeah. That's because you made me feel like an ass because I didn't get you anything.”
"I do believe I told you that I didn't want anything when we graduated. I had you. That was all I wanted.”
"I know but I could've at least bought you flowers or something.”
"With the pay from that janky ass job you used to have?" she asks.
"I made good money at that job!" he replies.
"You got paid in peanuts Dumbo. Hell, Lo made more money at his first job than you did at yours.”
He pinched her.
"Ow! Jackass!" she sneered.
He kissed the spot he pinched.
"Better?" he asks.
"Maybe," she replied.
He shook his head before he kissed her again.
"So where do we go from here?" he asked.
"We stay here like this," she replies.
“What about Nina and Chut?” he asked.
“Knowing them, they're drunk and are more than likely too busy entertaining their own company to give a fuck about what or who I’m doing. So I’m going to enjoy whatever time I have left with you before you have to leave,” she replied.
"Smartest thing you've said!"
She groaned as she snuggled in his arms. When she woke up the next morning he was gone but he left her a single red rose. She knew their relationship was over and so did he but they still cared for each other and for her, that was more than enough.
The next 2 months were a blur to her. Appointments, fittings, tours of the venues, and things of the like. She felt like her head would explode. But this was it, her wedding was fast approaching. So the last-minute mad dash to finalize and pay for everything was to be expected. She was in her room at her parent's house with her head in Nina’s lap as she scratched her scalp.
“Nobody does that like you,” Shanelle said to her.
“What?” Nina asked.
“Soothe my soul by scratching my scalp,” Shanelle replied.
Nina snickers.
“This is why you're a spoiled brat.”
That's when they heard a yelp and something fall in the closet.
“Chut! You alright in there?” Shanelle asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Question! Why do you put your shoes at the top?! You know my arms are short and can't reach!” Chut replies.
Nina and Shanelle cackled.
“Poor little miss mushroom.” Shanelle teased.
Chut finally emerged from the closet with her arms full of clothes.
“This is why we shop in your closet, Nelle. Now if you two will excuse me. I have clothes to try on.” Chut said before going into her bathroom. Shanelle shook her head with a smile.
“I love her innocence.”
“Chur? Innocent? Are we talking about the same person?” Nina asked.
“Okay between the three of us, she's the most innocent,” Shanelle replies.
“Much better.”
Just then there was a knock at the bedroom door.
“It's open!” Shanelle said to the door.
In walked the rest of the girls.
“The gang of whores is all here!” Shanelle teased.
The girls groaned while Nina laughed.
“Y’all love me!”
Chutney walked out of Shanelle’s bathroom wearing one of her old dresses.
“Hey y'all!” she said to the girls before looking at Shanelle, “okay Nelle. Whaddya think? How does it look? Does it make my ass look big?”
“Dump truck,” Shanelle replied.
“Meep meep!” Nina added.
“That's RoadRunner genius!”
The girls laughed.
“But to answer your question baby, it looks better on you than it ever did on me.”
“Can I have it?” Chut asked.
“It's yours,” Shanelle replied.
Chut squealed.
“Thank you, Princess! I have a few more things to try on.” Chut said before going back into the bathroom.
“That was your dress?” Bron asked.
Shanelle nodded.
“Yup. I've only worn it once. That's how I am. I wear an outfit once and then put it in my closet and never wear it again. Most of the clothes in the closet here are things I don't care for anymore.” she replies.
Bron had a curious look on her face as she glanced at the closet.
“Go for it, baby. Whatever you find in the closet that fits is yours to keep.”
The girls scrambled into the closet to find whatever outfits they could. It's not every day that a future Queen offers her closet to those around her.
“You've always been that way,” Nina said to her.
“What way?” Shanelle asked.
“Always giving to the less fortunate,” Nina replies.
Shanelle shook her head with a smile.
“Why aren't you in there looking for something?” Shanelle asked.
“Too much traffic. I like shopping in your closet when there's no one here but you and me.” Nina replies.
Shanelle snickered.
“Fair enough.”
The girls emerged each with their arms full of clothes.
“Princess, you have a strappy pair of tan Manolos that I had my eye on,” Bron said to her.
“Take them. They're yours now.” Shanelle said.
“Seriously?” Bron asked.
“Yes seriously,” Shanelle replies.
“Thank you, Nelle!”
Shanelle smiled at her. Soon the girls were fluttering around her room trying on and trading different outfits.
“I love these Manolos but I can't find anything that goes with them.” Bron pouted.
Shanelle thought for a second.
“Dee let me see that burgundy halter dress that you didn't want,” Shanelle said to her.
Dee passed her the halter dress. Shanelle took the dress and placed it in front of Bronwyn.
“And now we need accessories,” Shanelle said before setting the dress down on her bed and going to her jewelry box. She pulled out a pair of diamond earrings and a diamond tennis bracelet both in gold settings.
“And finally…” Shanelle said before she plucked a gold fashion belt out of a drawer.
“And voila! Now go try everything on.” Shanelle said to Bronwyn.
Bronwyn ducked into the bathroom and came out a few minutes later. The girls were impressed.
“Damn!” the girls said in unison.
“You look beautiful, baby,” Shanelle said to her.
“Thank you, Nelle. I can't wait for Lo to see me in it. I can't wait for him to rip it off of me.”
“I can guarantee you that you won't let him rip a $3,500.00 outfit off of you.”
“A $3,500.00 outfit?!” Bronwyn asks.
“The shoes are custom Manolos from the flagship boutique downtown, they're $1,000.00. That dress is a custom-made Versace dress that is $2,000.00. And your accessories are $500.00.” Shanelle replied.
Bronwyn’s jaw was on the floor as she looked at herself in the mirror.
“I'm wearing $3,500.00 worth of clothes and accessories?!” she asked.
“Welcome to the perks of being the best friend of a real live Princess,” Shanelle replied.
“I've never had anything this expensive,” Bronwyn admitted.
“Well get used to it. Because I always share with my friends.”
“Thank you, Nelle. Now I gotta go show Lo. He’ll lose his shit when he sees me.”
“Where is my brother?” Nina asked.
“In the kitchen with the boys and Nelle’s mom,” Bronwyn replies.
Shanelle, Nina, and Chutney froze.
“The boys are in the kitchen?” Chut asked.
“With mom?” Nina asked.
“While she's cooking?” Shanelle asked.
“Yes, yes, and yes,” Bronwyn replied.
They winced.
“Oh, God! Come on y'all. We gotta go save the boys.”
“Why? What's wrong?” Bronwyn asked.
“Knowing my mama and how she runs her kitchen when she's doing a big family meal, she's got the boys doing all her cooking prep,” Shanelle replied.
The girls looked at each other before they all scrambled out the door to the kitchen. Sure enough, Shantel had the boys hard at work, while she sat at the kitchen table supervising.
“Momma!” Shanelle fussed.
“Yes?” Shantel replied.
“Why do you have them doing all the prep, mom?” Nina asked.
“Because they were in here pestering me. And you know the rules Nina. If you're gonna stay in the kitchen while I’m in here cooking, you're gonna work. Isn't that right Logan?” Shantel asked.
She had the boys in gloves and aprons working in the kitchen.
“Yep,” Logan replied as he chopped onions.
The girls dissolved into cackles.
“Look at the men being all types of domesticated!” Shanelle teases.
“Mom, is this enough onions?” Logan asked Shantel.
“Yes, that's enough onions for now. Thank you, honey.” Shantel replies. “Now, go light the grill and pull the jerk chicken out of the outdoor fridge for me.”
“Yes ma'am!”
Logan ran out to the backyard to light the grill. The girls sat around the kitchen table and watched the boys work.
“Where is Daddy, mom?” Shanelle asked.
“In his office making final payments for everything,” Shantel replies.
“I can't believe the wedding is next week!” Aly said.
“Believe it, sweetie. It's here. It's happening. You girls will look stunning.” Shantel said.
Damien emerged from his office with a stretch.
“Well, everything is paid for in full. Which means by this time Monday, I will be at the Embassy officially welcoming Cordonian Royalty, Dignitaries, and Diplomats,” he said before pulling his daughter to her feet, “and by this time next Saturday you, my gorgeous girl will be a Queen. Not a Princess, not a Regent, a Queen”
“Are you excited Daddy?” Shanelle asked her father.
“Of course. I hate the thought of giving you away but you've earned this.” Damien replied.
Shanelle smiled softly at her dad, just as Logan came back into the house.
“Okay so the grill is lit and heating up and the chicken is sitting on the counter,” Logan announced.
“And that's my cue. Now, what's being grilled?” Damien asked.
“Jerk Chicken, Pop,” Logan replies.
“Perfect. Since Shantel has had you on cooking prep, do you want a way out of it?” Damien asked Logan.
“How?” Logan replied.
“You grill, I supervise.”
“Say no more!” Logan said before heading back outside.
Shanelle shook her head with a smirk.
“You and mom are the worst. Always making us do the work.”
“Of course. Free labor is the best labor.” Damien said before heading outside.
“Well, there went my plan to show Lo my new outfit.” Bron pouted.
“I'm sorry sweetie. But when it comes to my Jerk Chicken, nothing stops Logan.”
“He told me how good it is. I can't wait to try it.”
“Girl you are in for it! Mom can throw it down in the kitchen.” Chut quipped.
“Thank you, my sweet girl. You've been eating it for years.” Shantel replied before she turned her attention to the rest of the boys in the kitchen, “alright, fellas! Let's see what you have done so far.”
After all the prep, baking, cooking and grilling was done, it was time for everyone to eat. Even a surprise guest.
“I hope I’m not interrupting,” Marquise said
“Not at all Your Regency. You’re about to be family. What are you doing here?” Shantel asked.
“My business in Cordonia is done so I came westward. I was on my way to Boston but I thought I’d stop by before heading that way.”
Shantel raised an eyebrow at him.
“You wanted to see the bride before the wedding, didn't you?” Shantel asked.
Marquise awkwardly cleared his throat.
“…maybe,” he replied.
Shantel shook her head.
“Grab a plate everyone so we can eat!” Shantel announced.
Soon everyone dug into the food that was prepared.
“Mom! Mom?” Bron asked.
“Yes, baby?” Shantel replied.
“Can I have your Jerk Chicken recipe, please? This is amazing!”
“Of course, lovebug. I will send each of you girls a book with all my recipes.”
Everyone continued eating and as the night wound down, Marquise pulled his future bride aside.
“Walk outside with me?” he asked.
She simply smiled as they stepped outside for a moment. When Marquise was sure no one was looking, he planted Shanelle with a kiss. When their kiss broke, both were breathing hard.
“I have been dying to do that since I walked through the door.”
“Are you saying you haven't enjoyed spending time with me and my family, Your Regency?” Shanelle asked.
“I had loads of fun. After all, your family is about to be my family. But I've been away from you long enough. So why don't we hop on a jet to Boston?” he asked.
“I'd like that. Besides, I miss Ozzie. I think I've had him boarded long enough.” she replied.
“Leave in the morning?” he asked.
“Deal,” she replies.
“Good. Now your mother made a sweet potato pie. I have not had one in years. I am very much looking forward to this.”
“Don't be shocked if you wind up addicted.”
“I'm counting on it.”
They headed back inside and that is how he became addicted to her mom’s sweet potato pie. The next morning they landed in Boston and picked up Ozzie from the kennel before going to the brownstone.
“It feels good to be back,” he said as they lay on the couch together with Ozzie at their feet.
“It feels good to do this again. I missed you.”
He nibbled on her earlobe.
“I've missed you too, my love.”
“Just think. We’ll be waking up next week as a married couple.”
“And as Monarchs,” he added.
“I know. Everything we've worked for will come to fruition next week.”
“You’re amazing. You know that right?”
She blushed.
“I wish you'd stop that.”
“Why?” he asked.
“Because I can seriously get used to it,” she replies.
“You should. Do you know why?” he asked.
“Why?” she replied.
“Because you deserve to be praised for the amazing woman that you are.”
Shanelle shook her head with a smile.
“Never forget one thing.”
“Hmm?” she asked.
“I love you, my Queen.”
“I love you too, handsome.”
This was it, in a few short days, the Prince and Princess would be husband and wife. Both were nervous and excited. The next week flew past them and before they knew it, it was their wedding day.
They flew back to New York that Friday and spent the night in separate quarters. He stayed at the Embassy and she stayed at home.
The morning of the wedding was insane but invigorating. After having breakfast, Shanelle watched her mom and her get dressed. While the guys and her dad headed to the palace to get dressed with Marquise.
“I feel like a princess!” Shantel squealed.
“You sure act like one mom.” Nina said.
“Bye girl! What do you think, Nelle?” Shantel asks.
“You look stunning momma.” She replies with a smile.
“Thank you, my baby. Now will you tell your best friend that?”
They laughed together.
“It fills my heart to have all my girls in one room.” Shantel said with tears in her eyes.
“Awww mom!” They said in unison.
They hugged her.
“Okay! Okay! Enough tears from me.”
Shanelle smiled at her mom before looking towards the garment bag with her wedding dress in it. Shantel laid a hand on her shoulder.
“This is it Butterfly. Are you ready?” Shantel asked.
“As I'll ever be mama,” Shanelle replied.
“Let’s get you dressed then,” Shantel announced.
Between giggles and tears, it took the girls 30 minutes to get Shanelle all ready. And when it was all said and done Shanelle stood in front of a floor-length mirror and marveled at her dress.
“It's beautiful. Ingrid did fantastically.”
“Yes, she did. You look stunning.” Shantel said to her.
“Thank you, mom. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect gown.”
Shantel took Shanelle’s trembling hands into her own.
“I am so proud of you my baby. You are about to embark on the journey of a lifetime. You, my beautiful, smart, amazing, courageous, loving little girl are moments away from being a Queen. The same little girl whose smile has always melted my heart will be a leader on the world's stage. You are my every dream come true. And I wish nothing but love and happiness for you.”
Shanelle squeezed her mother’s hands.
“Thank you, mom. I would never be able to do any of this without you or the girls by my side.”
That's when Damien walked in and was awestruck.
“Oooh! Look at Pop looking spiffy in his teacher suit!” Chut said.
Damien bowed.
“Thank you Chutney. You girls look stunning in your gowns. Absolute visions!” Damien said to the girls before turning his attention to Shanelle and his wife, “and you two…my God! I am the luckiest man in the world. Today my Princess becomes a Queen. I could not ask for anything more.”
“Thank you, Daddy.”
“Do you all mind if I speak to Shanelle alone for a moment? I promise not to take too long.” Damien asks.
“Of course dear. Come on girls let's give them some time.” Shantel said before herding the girls out the door.
Shanelle smiled at her father through the mirror as she sat down at her vanity.
“Look at you my darling. Look at how beautiful you are. I am so proud of the woman you are and I am excited to see the Queen you will be. And I know somewhere in heaven, your grandparents are excited as well.”
Shanelle closed her eyes to stop the tears from falling.
“Thank you, Daddy.”
“I went about this wrong. And what's worse I hurt you. But my beautiful darling, I am so happy for today. Today I get to watch you marry the man you have…even if he is cocky.”
Shanelle laughed.
“I have something for you, my Princess.”
“What is it Daddy?” she asked.
Damien produced a box from behind his back.
“What is that Daddy?” Shanelle asked.
“A gift I've been saving for this very special moment.” Damien replied as he opened the box.
Inside was a tiara with Canary and Blue Diamonds, with a pair of matching earrings, a necklace and cuffs.
“Where did you get these?” Shanelle asked in complete shock.
“These were your grandmother’s favorites. Her dying wish was for you to have them. She wanted you to wear them when you got married. And I am here as her son to make sure her wish is fulfilled. Would you do me the honor of wearing them today?” Damien replied.
“It would be my honor to represent Flower today, Daddy.”
Damien carefully helped Shanelle put on her jewelry.
“There. Now you look like the Queen the world deserves to know and admire.”
Shanelle stood up and hugged her father.
“Thank you so much, Daddy. Sure you went about this all wrong but in the end, you made my dream come true. I can never thank you enough.”
“Anything for you my sweet darling. Now let's get you to the church so you can get married.”
The two smiled at each other before heading out the door.
Meanwhile at the Embassy, Marquise had just finished getting dressed. He stood in front of the floor length mirror and had just buttoned his jacket when there was a knock at the door.
“A Royal Wedding In New York?” Leo asks as he stuck his head in.
“Leo! What are you doing here?” He replies.
“You know me. I love a good party. Especially when it's to stick it to the old man.”
“Yeah, I know. It's good to see you.”
The two embraced.
“It's good to see you too, little brother.”
“Speaking of him, have you seen him?” Marquise asked.
“Briefly. I popped in to speak. And as per his usual, he expressed his displeasure.” Leo replied
“Of course he did. He's mad he's losing everything.”
Leo looked over and noticed the cuff links Marquise had. They were of his mother’s coronation picture.
“You know mom is smiling right?” Leo asked.
“Yeah I know. All I have ever wanted to do was make her proud.” Marquise replied.
“I think you've done that.”
“Indeed he has. Ellie is overjoyed at this moment in our lives.” Margo said as she stepped into the room.
“Mom!” the boys said in unison.
“Look at my two handsome boys. It's so good to have you two together again. Welcome home, Leo.”
Leo pulled her into a hug.
“It's good to know that I can always come home. Also, it's good to see you too mom.”
Margo took the cuff links and put them on Marquise.
“There. Now your look is complete.”
“Can you believe it, mom? Our baby is getting married!” Leo teased.
Marquise rolled his eyes with a smirk.
“You're lucky I tolerate you.”
Just then George walked in.
“Leo my boy! It's good to see you!” he said before wrapping him in a bear hug.
“It's good to see you too Papa. You know I would never miss an event like this.”
George turned his attention to Marquise.
“And you my boy! You are destined to do great things. You will be King in a few short moments. You are everything your mother and I could've ever hoped for. You are the savior the people have prayed for. And today, I get the honor of watching you marry the love of your life. The same way I married mine. You make me and your mothers proud my boy.” George said proudly.
Marquise smiled gratefully.
“Thank you. All of you. It means the world to me that you are here with me to share in this moment.”
“There's no place else we’d rather be,” Margo said.
Marquiss smiled at her before there was a knock at the door. It was Constantine and Regina.
“Well isn't this cute? His Regency’s chosen family and his actual family all in one room.” Regina sneered.
Leo scoffed.
“Last time I checked I am his family.” Leo snapped at her.
“I don't think I like your tone Julian,” Connie said to Leo.
“Get used to it.”
Connie took a deep breath.
“Do you all mind if I talk to His Regency privately?” Constantine asks.
“They might not but I do. But since this is your final day as King, sure we can speak for a moment.” Marquise replies.
Connie scoffed.
“How generous of you, Your Regency.” Connie sneered.
“Leo, would you be so kind as to take Mama and Papa to the church so they can take their places in the procession?” Marquise asked his brother.
“They're in the procession?” Leo asked.
“Who do you think is representing me in my wedding?” Marquise replies.
“Of course! It would be an honor to escort His Regency’s representatives.” Leo said before pulling his brother into a loving hug. “I’ll see you at the church.”
Marquise nodded before Leo left the room. Soon it was him alone with his father and Regina.
“Well don't you look dressed for the occasion, my son.”
Marquise rolled his eyes.
“You've got two minutes to say whatever the hell it is you have to say then you and her can get out.”
“Do you remember what I said to you a few months ago?” Connie asked.
“You mean the speech you gave me about you being a part of me and me being a part of you? What about it?” Marquise replies.
“You and this girl are about to inherit a kingdom. A kingdom mind you, that I spent my entire life building up. My legacy is now in your hands. Don't disappoint me.”
“You're right. You did spend your whole life building Cordonia. But just like Julius Caesar did Rome, you destroyed it as well. If you came here to tell me again that we’ll always be alike, save it. Because you and I are nothing alike. I am and always will be better. I will be a better King, I will be a better Husband, I will always be a better Man, and God willing I have any one day, I will always be a better father than you could ever dream of being.”
Connie scoffed.
“You think you’re better than me?” Connie asked.
“No, I know I’m better than you. Now get out!” Marquise hissed.
“The same way you pray for children one day is the same way you’d better pray that you never fail, my son.”
“You mean like you did?” Marquise asked.
Connie gave him one last look before he and Regina left. 20 minutes later there was another knock at the door. This time it was Damien.
“Good morning Your Regency!” Damien said as he entered the room.
“Good morning Your Highness. Please come in.”
“Thank you. So today's the day.”
“Indeed it is.”
Marquise gestures for Damien to sit with him.
“How are you doing, son?” Damien asks.
Marquise let out a shaky breath.
“I’m nervous as hell and I know that I shouldn’t be.” he replies.
“No you definitely should be. Marriage is a precious commodity nowadays.”
“I know that. I’m marrying your daughter but I can’t seem to silence this one voice in my head.”
“What’s it saying?”
“What if I fail her?”
Damien nodded his head.
“Want some free advice?” he asked Marquise.
“Sure.”
“That’s the point, son. Marriage no matter what is not and never will be perfect. And you will fail. Both of you. But see, it’s in that failure that you realize how much you love each other. You won’t always get along. You’ll argue. You’ll fuss. You’ll fight. Hell, you’ll piss each other off. But you’ll put in the work to make it work. Not to make it perfect but to make it last.” Damien replied.
“You really think so?” Marquise asks him.
“I’ve been married for close to 29 years. And in those almost 29 years, I’ve yelled. I’ve gotten frustrated. I’ve even gotten annoyed…on more than one occasion. But mostly, I remembered the vow I made to Shantel in the eyes of the Lord.” He replies.
“What was that vow?” Marquise asks.
“I vowed before the Father to always love, honor, cherish, protect, provide and prosper with her. And I have. Has it always been easy? Hell no! That woman has pushed me to my limit more times than I could ever explain or count. But I remember the love I have for her. As my wife, my partner in life and especially as the mother of my child. And I remember that vow I made. And if you remember the vows you plan to make to my daughter, you’ll be alright son.” He replies.
“Thank you, Your Highness. I needed to hear that.”
“Of course Your Regency. Now let’s go get you and my daughter married.”
“It must really hurt you to say that.”
“You have no idea.”
Marquise smirked at him as they walked out the door and headed to the church. The same time as Shanelle and the bridal party. The bride and groom were ushered to separate waiting rooms as the ceremony got underway.
"All rise and remain standing as the entrants make their way into the sanctuary!" The herald announced.
Marquise took a deep breath as the Cordonian National Anthem started to play.
The bridal party was announced couple by couple. As were the representatives of the Regents.
"Announcing Mr. and Mrs. George Marcel Geaneaux. Representatives of His Regency and Sir Ozzie Barksworth of House Volterias!"
George and Margo walked the procession line with Ozzie on his leash.
Next, it was time for her parents to be announced.
"Announcing Duchess Shantel Noreen Fletcher-Miller and His Highness Prince Damien Thomas Miller of South Cordonia!"
"Prince of South Cordonia?" Shantel asks her husband as they made their way down the aisle to the altar. He winked at her in response. As they reached the altar Margo couldn't wait to greet Shantel.
"Isn't this exciting, Duchess?" Margo asks Shantel.
"Margo! Our kids are getting married! We will be family. This is such a great day!" Shantel replied.
"Good luck, Your Highness." George said to Damien as he offered a handshake.
"Same to you George." Damien replied as he shook George's hand.
Damien took his place and awaited Marquise and Shanelle.
Marquise squared his shoulders then inhaled and exhaled slowly as his entrance was announced and the doors opened.
"Introducing His Regency, Marquise Constantine Rys, Crown Prince of North Cordonia!"
Marquise looked out among the crowd as he walked down the aisle. He saw the faces of his allies and subjects.
As he walked the reality of what was going on finally hit him. He was about to marry the love of his life. When he reached the altar he was greeted by George and Margo. As well as Shanelle's parents.
"Oh honey you look so handsome!" Shantel said to him.
"I'm standing right here!" Damien sneered.
"I know, that's why I said it!"
Marquise snickered.
"Thank you, Duchess. You look beautiful as always."
"Are you two done fawning over each other?" Damien asks.
"Don't mind him. He's just having separation issues." Shantel replied.
Damien rolled his eyes before Marquise took his place beside him.
"Life as you know it is about to change. Are you ready son?" Damien whispered to him.
"As I'll ever be." Marquise replies.
The music soon changed from the Cordonian National Anthem to the Bridal March and the doors opened as the herald announced her entrance.
"Introducing Her Regency, Princess Shanelle Dominique Miller, Crown Princess of South Cordonia and Duchess Of Volterias!"
Shanelle swallowed the lump in her throat as she walked down the aisle. She knew all eyes were on her, her custom-made Ingrid Kozlov wedding gown and her grandmother's jewelry, especially her tiara.
When she got to the end of the aisle, she was greeted by her mother who was in tears.
"You look stunning, baby girl! Your grandmother would be so proud of you. Even more than I am." Shantel said to her.
"Thank you, Mommy. Thank you for being here. I couldn't have done any of this without you."
"There is no place I'd rather be, baby."
The two smiled at each other as Damien stepped off the altar to greet his daughter. He took a deep breath before speaking to Shanelle.
"You know as a father...I never thought the day would come where I'd have to give you away. But now that it has...I'm afraid it's a day that's come all too soon for me."
"Daddy...I'm okay. I promise I'll be alright."
"I know baby...it's just..." Damien paused as he searched for the right words. "I have to let you go. And that's not easy. I have always been the one to protect you. Even when I screwed up with you. Even when you somehow found it in your heart to forgive me. And now, I have to give that privilege to someone else. And it hurts. God knows it hurts. But I trust you and your judgment and I trust him...kinda."
"I heard that!" Marquise said in the background.
Shanelle chuckled softly.
"I love you, Daddy."
"I love you too, my Princess. Always and forever."
He kissed her on her forehead before taking his place again and watching her hand her bouquet to Nina before taking her place across from Marquise.
"May you all be seated," Damien announced to the gathered crowd.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here today before the eyes of The Father our Lord and Savior, The Son Jesus Christ, and The Holy Ghost to bear witness to the marriage of His Royal Highness Crown Prince Marquise Rys of North Cordonia and my daughter Princess Shanelle Miller of South Cordonia."
Shanelle smiled at Marquise and he winked at her.
"As I told my soon-to-be son-in-law, marriage is a precious commodity nowadays. It's hard, it's tiring, it's strenuous and Lord knows it's frustrating."
The crowd laughed.
"But at its core, it's rich, it's fulfilling and when it's done right, it is long, loving, and everlasting. And it is my sincerest hope and belief that is what my daughter and Marquise will have."
Damien smiled at them both.
"Now if you will all bow your heads in prayer," Damien instructed.
"Gracious God, spirit of life and love, we ask all blessings upon Groom and Bride in their life together. May they be blessed with patience, to see them through times of tensions or conflict. May they be blessed with kindness, to enable them to nurture and care for one another in times of pain or sorrow. In your name Heavenly Father. Amen!" He prayed.
"Amen!" The crowd replied.
"Now I believe the bride and groom have written vows for each other and would like to recite them. Your Highness, since it is customary for the future Monarch to speak first, you may recite your vows first." Damien said to him.
"Gee thanks!" Marquise replied.
"You're welcome, son."
Marquise shook his head at Damien before looking at Shanelle. He took her shaking hands in his.
"I will be the first to tell the world that I don't deserve you. Because to be quite honest, I don't. I don't deserve someone as beautiful and pure as you at all. But Cordonia does. You will be the first Queen since my mother to make a mark on this world and not just our kingdom. Shanelle...from the moment we met, I knew you were the one for me. Hell, I knew it before then. I fell head over heels in love with your mind, your determination, your heart, your spirit, your tenacity, your smile, your wicked sense of humor, and especially your abundance of love. You are standing here and are willingly taking a chance on love and me. And I want you to know that you are everything in the entire world to me."
Marquise took a deep breath before continuing.
"I don't mean to put you on the spot but I need to ask you a question."
"Okay?"
"I need to know, do you trust me?" he asked.
"Of course, I trust you," she replied.
"Phew! Okay, good. Because had you said no I would've keeled over."
The crowd laughed.
"Why?" she asks him.
"I asked because I do want you to marry me. Desperately. But I don't want you to marry me because of some convoluted sense of duty and honor to the Crown or the Kingdom. I don't even want you to marry me because you love me. And I certainly don't want you to marry me because of some goddamn betrothal agreement that our fathers and your uncle orchestrated and stuck us with." he replied.
Shanelle snorted.
"I want you to marry me because you trust me. I want you to marry me because you trust me with your heart, your life, your safety, and your love. I want you to marry me because you trust me to honor, to have and to hold, to cherish, to adore, to be devoted, to nurture, to protect, to defend, and because I will lay down my life for you. I want you to marry me because you trust me to love you the way you need to be loved, the way you deserve to be loved. I want you to marry me because you trust me to always make you smile and to always put you first, and always choose you and only you. Even if you choose never to love me in return for another day of your life, I want you to trust me to always love you. No matter what."
Marquise swallowed the lump in his throat.
"As I end my vows to you, I want to sing one of your favorite Musiq Soulchild songs. Bear with me."
Marquise cleared his throat before he began to sing.
Love.
So many things I've got to tell you.
But I'm afraid I don't know how.
'Cause, there's a possibility.
You'll look at me differently.
Love.
Ever since the first moment I spoke your name.
From then on I knew that by you being in my life.
Things were destined to change cause.
Love.
So many people use your name in vain.
Love.
Those who have faith in you sometimes go astray.
Love.
Through all the ups and downs the joy and hurt.
Love.
For better or worse I still will choose you first.
Many days I've longed for you.
Wanting you.
Hoping for the chance to get to know you.
Longing for your kiss.
For your touch, for your essence (your beautiful essence).
Many nights I've cried from the things you do.
Felt like I could die from the thought of losing you.
I know that you're real.
With no doubt or no fears. Or no questions.
Love.
So many people use your name in vain.
Love.
Those who have faith in you sometimes go astray.
Love.
Through all the ups and downs the joy and hurt.
Love.
For better or worse I still will choose you first.
At first, you didn't mean that much to me.
But now I know that you're all I need.
The world looks so brand new to me.
Now that I found love.
Every day I live for you.
And everything that I do I do it for you.
What I say is how I feel so believe it's true.
You got to know I'm true.
Marquise closed his eyes as he squeezed her hands.
"I want you to marry me because you trust me when I say the following: Shanelle I love you today. I will love you tomorrow. And I swear to you with God and my Mother as my witnesses and God can strike me dead if ever I lie about this. I want you to marry me because you trust me when I say that I will love you until I am no more."
Damien nodded.
"Beautiful. Truly beautiful. Now, baby girl, you may recite your vows."
Shanelle was stunned. She was also thankful that her makeup is waterproof.
"How the hell am I supposed to top that?!" she asked with tears in her eyes.
Damien shrugged.
"I don't know but good luck," he replied.
Shanelle looked at Marquise and shook her head.
"I hate you so much right now." she sneered.
He chuckled.
"Je t'aime Aussi, mon amour."
Shanelle rolled her eyes with a smile before she began to recite her vows to him.
"I'm not very good at speeches, but I'm here now. You always talk about how I changed you. But you changed me. You made me who I am today and knowing you has been the best part of waking up every day. I..."
Shanelle took a deep breath.
"All my life I've been searching for an answer as to where I belong. I was always searching for the love I always needed. The love I always deserved. The love I always wanted. Then I met you and everything changed. You treated me like I deserved to be treated. You have loved me unconditionally and made me feel like I had finally found a home. I don't want to lose that. I don't ever want to lose you. You are the single greatest thing to ever happen to me. To know that in just a few short moments, you will officially be my Husband and more importantly, My King...I couldn't have asked for a more perfect blessing."
Shanelle closed her eyes to stop the tears from falling. Marquise rubbed her knuckles in an attempt to soothe her.
"You see? That right there is how I know I made the right choice when you asked me to marry you. You are known for your grand gestures of love. But it's the small ones that made me fall in love with you. When I felt lost, confused, and alone, you wrapped your arms around me and swore to me that as long as I had you, I would never be alone."
Marquise smiled at her with tears in his eyes.
"You said that you want me to marry you because I trust you. I trust you because I love you. Because I need you. Because I deserve you. My heart was made for you. You have shown me what true love is and what it is always supposed to be. I trust you to always lay the world at my feet. I trust you to kiss the ground I walk on as I walk."
"Oh I will!" he replied.
The crowd laughed.
"But mostly I trust you to always be there to help me stand. I trust you to be my life partner as we walk this crazy path we call life."
Shanelle took a deep breath.
"I am reminded of a song lyric by Mary J. Blige."
Shanelle cleared her throat.
"You are mine. I told you before. I wouldn't lie. I need you and more. Gotta stay with you. I am safe with you. Let me repeat it in case you forgot. Love is a mountain and we're at the top. Yeah, you're my breath and strength. 'Cause I see the future in your eyes."
Marquise shook his head with a smile.
"I love you so much. Here's to the start of our life and adventure together as one."
He grinned.
"And you wondered how you could top what I said."
Everyone chuckled.
"Thank you, baby girl. Now we can get to the good part. And I'm not talking about the food."
Everyone laughed as Damien looked at Marquise.
"Marquise, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer and poorer, 'til death do you both part, for as long as you both shall live?" Damien asks.
"I do forevermore," Marquise replies.
Damien turned to Shanelle.
"Baby girl, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer and poorer, 'til death do you part for as long as you both shall live? And just so you it's okay to say no and run for the hills." Damien asks.
Shanelle rolled her eyes at her father.
"Worth a shot."
"I do forevermore," Shanelle replies.
"Now if we can have the rings."
Shantel stepped up and handed Shanelle her ring while Margo handed Marquise his.
"Marquise, repeat after me, I give this ring as my gift to you. Wear it and think of me and know that I love you. I give you this ring in God's name, as a symbol of all that we have promised and all that we shall share. I give you this ring as a visible and constant symbol of my promise to be with you as long as I live." Damien instructed.
"Shanelle, I give this ring as my gift to you. Wear it and think of me and know that I love you. I give you this ring in God's name, as a symbol of all that we have promised and all that we shall share. I give you this ring as a visible and constant symbol of my promise to be with you as long as I live." Marquise recited as he slipped the diamond wedding band on her ring finger.
Damien nodded before turning to Shanelle.
"Shanelle, repeat after me, I give this ring as my gift to you. Wear it and think of me and know that I love you. I give you this ring in God's name, as a symbol of all that we have promised and all that we shall share. I give you this ring as a visible and constant symbol of my promise to be with you as long as I live." Damien instructed.
"Marquise, I give this ring as my gift to you. Wear it and think of me and know that I love you. I give you this ring in God's name, as a symbol of all that we have promised and all that we shall share. I give you this ring as a visible and constant symbol of my promise to be with you as long as I live." She recited before she put the diamond wedding band on his ring finger.
"Let the exchanging of these wedding rings solidify your commitment to one another in the eyes of The Lord. And now...in the name of the Son, The Father and The Holy Ghost...I now pronounce you husband and wife. And as much as it pains me to say this: Marquise, you may now...kiss your bride."
"Finally!" Shanelle said.
"You might wanna close your eyes...dad," Marquise says to her dad.
Marquise grabbed her and planted her with a deeply searing kiss. Much to Damien's visible disgust.
"Need I remind you two that you're in a church?" Damien asks.
They ignored him. When their kiss finally ended, Marquise had a wide grin on his face.
"I thank God for you, My Queen."
"Likewise…My King."
Damien cursed under his breath.
When they turned to face the crowd, Shantel was joined by Margo at the altar to formally announce them.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, on behalf of my husband and our family and The Royal Family," Shantel said as she addressed the gathered crowd.
"It is our esteemed honor to introduce to you: Mr. and Mrs. Marquise Constantine Rys, The New King and Queen Of Cordonia!" Margo announced.
"Did they have to?" Marquise whispered.
"Just go with it," Shanelle replied.
When Shanelle looked out into the crowd she saw her uncle with a disgusted look on his face that matched Connie's.
"Well, safe to say the former Kings are mad," she whispered to Marquise.
"That's their problem. Not ours," he whispered back.
"Hey," she said to him.
"Hmm?" he replied.
She captured his lips in a sweet kiss. When the kiss ended both had smiles on their faces.
"Long live Cordonia's new King," she whispered to him.
He kissed her softly.
"All hail my Queen," he whispered to her.
"Together we shall reign!" they said together.
#khoicesbyk#choices#choices stories you play#pixelberry#fanfic#choices fanfiction#king marquise#king of cordonia#queen shanelle#queen of cordonia#king and queen of cordonia#love everlasting#black king liam#black couple#black love#black marriage#my otp forever#otp forever#otp#the royal romance#choices fic writers creations#fics of the week
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writing retrospection 2022
quick and easy stats:
i published 42 fics over two accounts for a total of 167,903 words
i wrote 192,053 words during the year, averaging 535 words per day
two areas of focus:
writing fics where the protagonist isn’t always right: this includes fics where the protag’s thoughts/narrative voice is distinct from what is “actually” happening - fics where characters lie or have false impressions about each other - fics where characters do not talk like they’re in therapy. i want to write interesting characters!! i want to write stories that make the reader have to think!
this is still very much a work in progress - it’s hard to glean from fic comments whether people “get” the fic the way i intended or not and then it’s hard to decide if it’s my fault when they don’t - though it’s insanely rewarding when they do!
my fave works incorporating the above:
the weight of desire and despair (jayvik in the arcane timeskip)
if you close your eyes (astrid and wulf and an amnesiac caleb)
meanwhile the world goes on (the start of the wizard polycule)
writing porn, and writing a lot of porn: this was already something i worked on during 2021 but i significantly escalated this year both in scope (new pairings, new kinks, etc) and in quantity (i haven't posted a T or G fic since the summer). very much a "the only way out is through" mentality on this one, where i'm going to keep doing it until it doesn't feel like a big deal anymore 🤷♂️
some smut that i never thought i would write:
one pup, two pup (wizard polycule a/b/o)
desire, fulfilled (shadowgast drow pon farr/mating cycles)
nothing burns like the cold (shadowgast aeor date gone bad)
and of course, my one true focus for the year ...
blood moon:
it is honestly absolutely crazy to look at the numbers and realize that i came astonishingly close to my pipe dream goal of updating once per week. it doesn’t feel real when my entire year “behind the scenes” has been haunted by my inability to finish one longer fic
i have struggled a lot with blood moon, especially the final two chapters, and each soft deadline that i’ve set for myself has come and gone with no true resolution (including my goal to see it finished by the end of 2022). i think about this fic pretty much every single day of my life, even during the weeks that i don’t work on it at all. i’ve flip-flopped on every decision this year: i’m going to finish it, i don’t have to finish it, i won’t edit it, i will end up editing it, it doesn’t matter if i hate it if it’s done, i don’t want to publish something i don’t like, etc.
currently, i am determined to finish writing blood moon to a standard that i can, at the very least, make peace with. realistically, because it’s taken me over a year to write it, i’ve already out grown this fic. short of starting it over from scratch (which i resolutely do not want to do), there’s a ceiling for how good it can be and i just have to be fine with that
it will be the second story i’ve ever written that hits 50k words and i will be very, very glad to see it done. i’ll continue to upload at least one chapter per month, and i’m very grateful for the readers and commentators who have been following it thus far
writing goals for next year:
this was my first year using a writing tracker and i liked it! i took the one by @angryonabus and modified it for my own use. i’m a very habit-based person and having a tracker helps a lot
my goal was and will continue to be roughly 10k words per month - i’m obviously capable of overshooting that by a considerable amount but i don’t feel a need to push myself
i would love for 2023 to be the year that i tackle romcoms. i have two ideas lined up (the sedoretu fic and the marry me AU) that will be my bigger projects after blood moon concludes
in general, i’d like to write more fics in the 10-20k range, stories that have a little more plot (including emotional/relationship development), which means that i might not update anywhere near as much next year
plans for existing series/AUs:
definitive plans, concrete ideas:
league jayvik battlecast AU - realistically i’ve lost momentum for jayvik but even if this takes years and more arcane seasons i WILL come back for this
rough ideas, need motivation:
the shadowgast+widobrave polymorph fic - i’ve always had the second chapter sketched but never written it
packverse - there’s a blumendrei prequel scene i want to write
companion to wolves AU - also some blumendrei prequel scenes for this one, as well as future scenes with essek
critrole amnesia!caleb - essek POV!!
aeor date gone wrong - i know the fallout and want to write it but i do not care to write the actual catharsis because i think it would take a long time and i am an impatient writer. i’ll have to decide if it’s worth anything without it
no specific ideas but i like these ‘verses so i might go back to them:
critrole purple person shenanigans
critrole blumendrei modern college AU
critrole wizard polycule
critrole decades post-canon polynein
league jayvik gamers AU
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hi omg i really love "wildfire"!!! i'm so curious about the behind-the-scenes process behind it. what media inspired you to write it? what's the revision process like and how long does it usually take? what part did u find the most difficult to write? when did you start writing the outline + first draft? are you the type to finish a rough draft of an entire long fic before revising or do you take it chapter by chapter? i have so many questions pls infodump as much as u want about the behind the scenes of the fic i'm so hooked on the story i've been sharing it to all of my mutuals. thank you again for creating it <3
OMG first of all, thank you! I love talking about writing, so infodump I shall!
As far as inspiration goes, I love mysteries and detective stories in general. Some that stand out to me as influencing wildfire are the manga FAKE by Sanami Matoh and Beyond Evil, a kdrama that I highly recommend. Lots of twists and turns in that one. (And of course I like Knives Out and Glass Onion haha, there's a little bit of that too with how Diluc is helping Lumine.) I also have a playlist I made for the fic. If y'all ever want to see that, let me know~
I started writing the fic in September after rotating the idea in my brain for about a year. Initially I wasn't planning on posting it, since people can get pretty heated about kaeluc so it was just for my own amusement. But after talking to friends about it and realizing how much I was enjoying myself, I figured I should go ahead and make an AO3 account and publish it. Seeing other people enjoying it too makes me so happy it's unreal!
Re: the process--I tend to go chapter by chapter, usually with a bit of a buffer. In other words, I try to stay ahead of the most recent chapter, so if chapter 4 is ready to be posted, I'm already working on chapter 5 and so on. I actually started out with a substantial buffer and had about 5 chapters written before I posted the first one. I've got a document called "Misc" where I write scenes out of order or further along in the story to place later. Also, this is going to sound insane, but I don't really outline--at least not strictly. I have a document called "plot notes" to remind myself of certain important clues, the timeline, anything that I came up with while brainstorming. I know what's going to happen in the broad sense (like the solution to the mystery, I know where Aether is haha) but I like to give myself a little freedom to make creative decisions as I work. Sometimes I'll plan for something to happen, but then it doesn't really fit. For example, I had the flashback where Kaeya and Diluc almost kissed as teenagers completed for a while, but had trouble deciding which chapter it should go.
I'm often editing as I go. If I'm writing and the scene feels wrong or the dialogue is off, I'll cut and paste it into my "outtakes and deleted scenes" doc so I can still keep what I like or change my mind later. I re-read the previous chapter to try and keep things consistent and make sure to read my draft before I post to catch whatever I can. (I don't have a beta so any typos or other mistakes are on me TvT) The most difficult parts to write are anything involving actual procedure lmao I do my best to make it seem believable, but I take about as much artistic license as a detective show would. I prefer amateur/gentleman detective stories to police procedurals so that's the vibe I'm going for (despite Kaeya having access to actual law enforcement resources). That, and action scenes aksjdfosdjfoj If you can't already tell, I'm a dialogue/character writer.
As far as how long it takes to write and revise, I can usually finish a 3-4k chapter in roughly a week. That's thanks to my severe brainworms hahahaha I'm lucky to have a lot of free time right now and a slow paced job :> Although I know how the fic will end and the major twists, I'm not sure how long it will take to get there, but we've already crossed the 50k mark, so there's going to be plenty more content haha
Anyway, I've probably talked enough for now but I'm always down to chat fic and writing haha Thank you again for reading and sharing the story! I appreciate it so much~
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Just crossed the 50k mark on my current buddie fic, A Tale of Teeth and Talons.
Only two chapters published so far because my beta hasn’t been feeling well for a couple of days, but it’s progressing really well. I have 5 whole chapters finished now (well, 1 prologue and 4 chapters) and a good portion of the next. The entire plot is outlined, and I’m tracking my progress in an excel sheet because it provides additional motivation for me to push myself to write.
I don’t think I’ve ever written that much, that fast. My Destiel fic was 132 words and took me half a year to finish. This one? Well, I have no idea how much it’s going to be once it’s done, but I have a feeling I’ve barely covered a sixth of the planned plot yet. Which would mean that this fic might easily go around or even above 300k words. Holy effing shit.
I just hope I can keep it up to write as much as I have the past three weeks. I mean, I do expect it to slow down eventually, and me hitting phases where I’m stuck for a little while; my goal was 1000k a day, but I’ve been writing 2300 daily on average. Plus editing. Plus researching. Plus map drawing.
Oh, yeah, I bought a graphic tablet just so I could draw a better map for my fictional world, lol.
(Those mountains were driving me insane last night. Also, I think I need to do the rivers as black outlines and just fill them with a more muted blue. Make it a little more Tolkien style).
Anyway. In case anyone is reading A Tale of Teeth and Talons and was wondering when I’d update, have a few more days patience please.
And in case you are reading but haven’t left a comment yet, please consider doing so. I can definitely use some additional motivation to keep me going, getting through this insanely huge project.
A little excerpt of chapter 3 (4 if you count the prologue as one) after the cut.
At that moment, however, they saw someone run through the gate to their right that was kept open during the day. It took Buck a moment to recognize Will, who looked around, very obviously rattled and out of breath. His eyes found Bobby first, and he came running towards the two of them who rushed rushed to meet him in the middle.
“Numans,” Will panted, taking a moment to breathe in and out as he straightened himself, but Buck already felt a wave of ice cold dread run down his back.
“Numans?” Bobby asked. “Where?”
“They… They—” Athletic though he was, Will barely got a word out. He must have run all the way from one of the outposts close to their clan’s border to be this out of breath.
“Not many,” Will said, huffing out as he gradually seemed to calm his breath down a little. “Twenty-five men. They crossed our borders by the south-eastern wall.”
“Why did you let them in?” Buck asked in confusion. Surely, with their advanced position on the trees and behind the earthen wall, the watchmen could have kept the Numans in check, even overpowered them, once they tried to proceed without invitation.
“They said it’s a… a friendly mission. A visit, not an attack.”
“When was that?”
“This morning,” Will replied. “They’re on horses but they were in no rush. Said they wanted to cross the Daegea. I…” Will looked back and forth between Bobby and Buck. Then his brow furrowed deeply as his gaze rested on the wolf’s fang on Buck’s chest.
“I think I know who was with them.”
(context: this is a fantasy setting closely similar to Europe in the 1st century AD. The Numans are what the Romans were in reality. The Daegea is a river.)
And another one from the following chapter.
“When are you coming back, papa?” Christopher asked, his voice thin with a sadness ringing in his words that cut through Eddie’s heart.
Squatting down in front of his son so he was at the same height, Eddie laid one hand on the small boy’s shoulder and looked at him with a smile as bright as he could muster.
“I’m not coming back to Greotiacum. We’re all going to meet again in Novatrivium, remember? It’s a five day trip up there, and I bet it’s going to be sooo exciting. You’ll see things you’ve never seen before. Vast green forests and hills like we didn’t have them back in Megitia or Numa.”
“Why can’t you come with us?” Christopher asked, no enthusiasm raised in him for the adventure Eddie was trying to paint.
“Because I and a couple of other legionnaires need to visit a few people and talk to them. We’re guests in their lands, see? So we’ve got to make sure they’re happy with us being here.”
“Are they… are they people you know? From… before?” Christopher asked, and his eyes lit up a little with expectation.
Eddie didn’t like having to tell him that he was going to see Christopher’s grandparents while Christopher himself couldn’t, yet, but he had no other choice. Lying to his son was not something he did if he couldn’t absolutely avoid it, and he wasn’t going to start now.
He nodded, also chasing away the lump he felt rising in his throat at the thought. “Yes. We’re going to visit the clan I’m from, too.”
Christopher’s eyes became a little bigger. “Your parents and sisters too?”
Eddie nodded again, the knots in his stomach now rising all the way up his chest, something between longing and anxiety making his heart beat faster and more painfully.
“Why can’t we come with you?”
“Because it’s no place for young children. Or women,” Shannon said a little too quickly, with an air of barely suppressed annoyance.
“Shannon,” Eddie muttered under his breath as he got back up, looking at her pleadingly.
“What?” she huffed. “They don’t even have baths or latrines. We’ll be much better off in Novatrivium, Christopher. It’ll be much more like what we’re used to.”
Eddie let out a long sigh. This was not the moment to get into another argument with Shannon. Of which they had plenty, the few days after he had told her about the move. Eddie could understand it; he would not have chosen this himself, but so was the life of a soldier in Numa. Shannon felt powerless in all of this, and on top of it, she had never known life outside of Numan society. It didn’t matter that she spoke the language, or appreciated a few items of Ardenian jewelry; Shannon was Numan more than she’d ever been Ardenian, and Eddie had had to uproot her, too.
“No latrines?” Christopher asked in confusion. “But then how—”
“We can visit them in the summer maybe,” Shannon now said, and it was a peace offering to Eddie much more than simply wanting to raise her son’s spirits. “When the weather’s nicer and warmer. Or they can come up and visit us. You’ll get to meet them eventually.”
“You promise?” the boy asked, looking back and forth between both his parents.
Eddie got down again in front of his son and nodded. “I promise you that I’ll do everything I can to make that happen. I’m sure they will want to meet you too, once I tell them about you. But now you’ve got to go to our new home with your mama first, alright? And once you’ve settled in, and made a few new friends, before you even know it, I’ll be back with the two of you.”
Christopher nodded, his chin wobbling softly at the realization that this was, at least for a while, goodbye. He handed his walking sticks to his mother and then raised his slender arms, demanding a hug from his father that he was more than willing to give.
(context: Ardenia is the name of the lands the Numans are trying to bring under their control. Greotiacum is a city already under Numan rule, Novatrivium a smaller town and summer camp of the legions.)
But that’s enough for now, before I end up posting the whole thing here ;-)
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