So I saw lately someone's headcannon of Bruce having a little bit of ol' British accent because he basically grew up raised by Alfred alone so I thought it would be really funny if he just slip it randomly and it always catch people of the guard.
Batman: Just put in the bin
Hal:
Hal: I'm sorry spooky the what?
Batman: The bin
Hal:
Olive with a terrible British accent: Oi' mate he said to you to put it in a bin'
Hal: WHEEZE–
Batman: >:(
--
Batman checking chemicals by himself: Bloody hell
Superman:
Superman: I–
Batman: Not a word.
He start fighting with Clark and they just keep slipin their accents.
Batman with a strong British accent: Are you insane?
Superman: I'm tryin' to tell ya!
Batman: Absolutely not– Oi– Absolutely–
Superman: Goodness gracious you're impossible!
Batman: And you're one to talk?
--
Constantine: A man like you alone in a night like this?
Batman:
Constantine: Care for a bit of company luv?
Batman slippin in Alfred's accent again: Would you like to eh?
Constantine:
Batman:
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ㅤㅤㅤ ﹙ 𝖽𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗋𝖾𝖽.﹚
warning(s): smut, swearing
author's note: this is lowkey so fanon it's not even funny but it's fine. and i love red guy so i'll project on him as much as i'd like, f u + ratio + leave if u don't like it idc. /lh
༚ . 🍬 ◌ ꙳ . ⊹ 🖍 + 。 ๋
"hm? you say you 'love' me? thank you. i guess i do, too." red flashes his canines at you; a warm, gentle smile welcomed you. it only lasted for a second though, before his focus went completely back on the television in front of him. you rolled your eyes playfully before laying down next to your boyfriend.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝖧𝖤𝖠𝖣𝖢𝖠𝖭𝖮𝖭𝖲.
his autism makes it a bit hard for him to show his affection/emotions, but he really does try his best.
he may act kind of cold and/or misunderstand certain social cues, but he does it all in good faith.
red loves being generally around you. there doesn't need to be a conversation– or even any touching for that matter, just being in your presence gives him a sense of comfort.
red speaks in a very monotonous voice, not intentionally of course, but it does cause confusion in translation. what makes it even worse is that sarcasm is literally his main sense of humor.
"hon, i left some chives in the fridge. can you go fetch them for me, please?" your boyfriend hummed. the smell of fresh cut onions frying in olive oil filled your nostrils. red was preparing some kind of dish, but he refused to tell you what it was. you about drooled imagining all the possibilities; no matter what it was, you knew red was bound to make it delicious.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝖧𝖤𝖠𝖣𝖢𝖠𝖭𝖮𝖭𝖲.
red unironically loves to cook, so his love language is to feed you with his culinary specialities.
he has an over 200 page recipe book that would be illegible and unorganized without the help of duck with a variety of dishes from tiramisu to korean style corn dogs.
the only thing he won't even think about cooking is red meat. it reminds him too much of organs and that makes him physically sick to his stomach.
if you guys are making bread or something, red will press his body close against yours and guide your hands while softly whispering you instructions.
"why do you keep staring at (name) like that?" yellow bellowed, his head tilted to the side with curiosity. red snapped his focus towards yellow. his tone was mildly harsh as he responded, "what? i'm not staring. i'm just looking at them. am i not allowed to look at my own partner anymore?" duck scoffed, flipping through the newspaper absent-mindedly. "don't get all defensive, he does have a point, it's quite... awkward to watch on the sidelines." before red could come up with a snarky remark, you pranced in, looking as happy as can be. duck smirked while yellow became a giggly mess. you didn't understand what the commotion was about, but red looked like he was about to explode.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝖧𝖤𝖠𝖣𝖢𝖠𝖭𝖮𝖭𝖲.
even in the long term, red acts like you're simply unreachable like his chances of ever finding his real family.
he absolutely adores viewing you from afar. your like some kind of abstract painting to him: weird, confusing, yet so beautiful in his eyes.
he even has little fantasies and daydreams about you two, but red keeps the thoughts to himself, afraid you may debunk his ideas entirely.
his two mates tease him to hell about you two, but he always keeps his cool no matter much he wants pop their little skulls open.
ㅤ𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚! 𝗡𝗦𝗙𝗧 𝗨𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗖𝗨𝗧!
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝖧𝖤𝖠𝖣𝖢𝖠𝖭𝖮𝖭𝖲.
he's 1000% a bottom, no question. he needs you to control and use him until he's nothing but a shriveled up disgusting milked dry mess.
forget a horse, all the horsepower you need is right in red's lap!
red is always in the mood for head, no joke it's almost as if that thing is always hard as mount everest.
in contrast to the point above, red's sex drive is really low, but when he is horny, it's like witnessing a dog in heat.
he's a whimper/mewler. he can't help it, you just make him feel so fucking good.
red's ability to speak completely shuts down when having sex. it just become incoherent babbles at that point.
pretty much inexperienced, but once red gets the hang of it, it's on and poppin' partner ;).
no bdsm. absolutely not. abuse? of him or you, especially you? hell no.
exhibitionism is also a no-no. red believes sex should be a private intimate experience, and he's already fully aware of who he belongs to and vice versa.
red's praise kink is down so horrendously that you can simply say "good job" in a casual conversation and he'll get hard.
red prefers to cum inside you, wouldn't mind if you were like "ew that's gross /hj"
speaking of his cum, he got alot of it, and it goes everywhere when you give him head.
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❤️CAREGIVER RED GUY HEADCANONS❤️
❤️bless his heart he tries he really does but hes clueless
❤️he's giving 'single dad that doesn't know how to hold a baby properly'
❤️but he really really does love you
❤️he doesn't really do nicknames he just call you by your name or a shorter version of it
❤️he doesn't mind whatever you call him thought he thinks their all cute but his favorite is 'baba'
❤️he likes reading you bedtime stories and tries to make lil voice but it sounds funny due to his voice
❤️but his voice his very calming if your having a meltdown or something similar to that
❤️he works great with autistic littles
❤️he can and WILL do little puppets shows for you
❤️he tries to get you to do things outside the house but due to the time loop thingy it gets very hard to do so
❤️extremely protective of you and constantly carrying you everywhere
❤️he tries to set up playdates with you and yellow guy
❤️red guy struggles alot but in the end he really tries and loves his little more than anything
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Um....I would like to share a HC or two with the class, please 🥺👉👈
*Ahem*
Red most definitely purrs when excited or content. The first time it happened, Duck and Yellow freaked out since they thought Red was going to die or something.
If they ever or when they do go clothes shopping, Duck will insist on picking out outfits for the other two since "He is the best one and the best one obviously has fashion sense." Yellow and Red don't mind, as long as they get to at least choose one outfit of their choice without complaint from Duck. Overall, the trio have a great time and Duck loves picking out cute or fancy outfits for the other two and they love how excited Duck gets from picking their clothes.
Yellow is actually a really amazing cook. He may not be the best at many things and/or clumsy often but when he gets to cook, he's out here like Gordon Ramsay with his impressive cooking skills. To this day, Duck and Red are always amazing and baffled when Yellow cooks. Both have secretly confided in how they want to learn to cook the other's favorite meal to Yellow.
Sometimes, Red will purposely get a book and start reading it terribly near Duck because if he does, Duck will become annoyed and will climb onto Red's lap to read the book for him out loud. Red adores this and when lucky, Yellow will come sit near the two and listen to the story.
Sorry....may have gone a bit overboard with the HCs......heh heh....😅
absolutely ADORE that last one
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