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harmonictechnicality · 1 year

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Memory Log Easter Eggs and Brain Worms

There’s quite a few of these, so I’m gonna do my best to scavenge for all of them. I’m going to start with the most important one:

Waking up Max: there were 3 key elements that were vital in waking up Max.

Max’s birthday - I purposefully picked November 6th as Max’s birthday because it is the day that Will went missing in 1983. I think there is something so significant about the Upside Down being frozen in time on that specific day. That day must hold some sort of power and therefore, I needed Max to be tethered to that day somehow. Hence the November 6th birthday.

The happiest memory item/song - Max has been through a lot, especially as a kid. It is common for people (younger people especially) to repress their trauma in order to function day to day. However, a lot of good memories often times get repressed with the bad memories. The brain is just trying to stuff it all away and that can happen. So it made sense to me that Max couldn’t find her happiest memory because she repressed it, and needed to hear the song from the bear to pull the memory out of storage.

The witching hour - the time of day when supernatural entities are said to reach maximum power. Therefore, if Max’s consciousness is stuck in a supernatural realm, she would need as much power as possible to escape. This time of day gave her and Eddie the best chances of surviving.

(All three of these things needed to happen in order to set them free. The perfect storm.)

Going off of this, there is distinct significance in Max waking up on Day 77. Seven is commonly used as a number of extreme luck. So I used this day to represent that not only did they need those three conditions, but they also needed tons and tons of luck on their side.

And if you’re into math (I’m not, but I kinda had to for this fic), you’ll notice that Steve and Eddie kiss on Day 71. And if Max’s birthday is on Day 77, that would mean that their first kiss is on Halloween. Something, I doubt Steve cares about - but if Eddie’s memory had been better, I’m sure he would’ve be fucking STOKED.

The book behavior choices! Taming of the Shrew is such a nod to this fandom. I’ve seen a lot of people in the steddie nation that love 10 Things I Hate About You. And like, same. But 10 Things I Hate About You is a modern adaptation of Taming of the Shrew, by William Shakespeare. So, I threw this in there as a little nod to this community and their shared love of that tale :)

Jekyll and Hyde… this one is pretty obvious. One is nice and the other is a monster (via potion). I’m assuming that Eddie is on a lot of medicines, some probably affect his moods, so that’s why I chose this one.

Beowulf - okay, so I’ve read articles on how Tolkien LOVES Beowulf, and therefore, I think Eddie would also love Beowulf. It totally checks out with his love of fantasy worlds.

There’s a moment in chapter 3 where Steve calls Eddie “hero” and I think this is less of a term of endearment, and more his way of showing Eddie that he did indeed read Beowulf for him (even though he did not read it lol). It’s also a nod to s4 when Eddie says they are ‘no heroes.’ Even though Eddie doesn’t have memory of this moment, Steve calls back to it so that Eddie feels like a hero (just like Beowulf) for surviving the Bad Days.

The heart monitor - this became a huge symbol for Steve in determining Eddie’s feelings. Whether he was feeling sick or flustered or sleepy, all of those beeps sounded different. But then, Steve ALSO uses it to determine that Max is waking up. I think it is fun to play off of this thing that he saw as a reminder of mortality, and ends up using it to know that his friend is being revived.

I picked the Corduroy bear because the story reflects Eddie in a lot of ways. In the Children’s book, the bear is searching for his missing button. In this fic, Eddie is searching for his missing memories. I just liked the idea of connecting him and Max in yet another way.

The heart sticker being underneath the bear’s overalls is another callback to s4 - the Russian Doll with the note inside. It’s not entirely the same, but it’s a tiny detail I threw in there to pay homage to that scene (and it ultimately led to breaking someone - Hopper - free). Just like Max and Eddie were set free.

In the final chapter Eddie says this about the bear: ‘Looks like she sewed it back together with yellow threads?’ The color yellow is used to represent Steve throughout this fic (and the whole damn fandom). So I liked having it symbolize the thread holding this bear together, like Steve is the person that has brought them all together on this quest to wake up Max.

The Firestarter reference - I used this particular movie/novel for a few different reasons. The first is that it’s by Stephen King, and the show (in canon) makes TONS of Stephen King references. At the end of s4, we see Lucas reading The Talisman to Max, so we get the sense that she’s a fan of his books. I also chose it because Max’s hair is red, so I thought Eddie would immediately associate her with fire :)

The Nightmare on Elm Street reference - again, a lot of s4 paid respect to this movie, along with lots of other Teen Horror Slasher films. But since this fic is dealing with lucid dreaming, I felt it had to be mentioned at least once.

I based the original character of Sam off of the Nurse from Romeo and Juliet. Lets be honest: Romeo and Juliet are shitty people. But the Friar and the Nurse are literally carrying the whole damn play on their overworked backs (so is Mercutio until he bites the bullet). The Nurse helps Romeo and Juliet meet in secrecy and protects their relationship. So having an actual nurse do the same thing for Steve and Eddie seemed like a no-brainer in my Shakespeare-obsessed brain.

In the epilogue, Eddie tells Steve “Would be a complete idiot not to fall in love with you, Steve Harrington.” I used this to negate Nancy Wheeler saying “you’re an idiot, Steve Harrington” all throughout s1. While she probably means this in an endearing way, I can’t help but wonder how this affects Steve. Especially after seeing her response to his essay in the next season. Yes, it might be playful, but it becomes a very real opinion of hers a year into their relationship. So I thought it was important to have Eddie twist that phrase and tell Steve that someone would be an idiot not to fall in love with him. That seemed healing and important to me.

The final line. This is in reference to them holding hands in chapters 4 and 5. Each time they do so, it means something different. At first, it is a sign of “helpless support.” Steve cannot fix Eddie’s medical problems, but he can literally offer his hand to show that he’s physically there for him. Once they kiss in Chapter 5, Steve says “it means everything,” in determination to get Eddie’s memories back once and for all. And finally, he repeats this because the gesture now represents their togetherness. Their bond. When they hold hands at the end, it means everything they’ve experienced as a pair.

I hope this was interesting and not too boring. Sorry if it was! I cannot thank you all enough for the love and support on this fic. It was a joy to share with this community.

#memory log #steddie fic #dedicating this to anyone as obsessed with symbols as I am #I probably missed some - but these are all the main ones #thank you for reading xx ☺️

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zenezene · 2 years

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throwing this out there because maybe someone is as obsessed with invested in this character as I am and maybe wants to talk about it okay thanks

yknow what honestly I feel like if mc were to taunt Ren at all or just be cheeky and sassy with him, his composure would break. I don't think he'd even know what to do. his mind probably functions in "dominant/submissive" mode all the time (because of the things strade taught him) and it would freak him out if mc didn't automatically submit because it doesn't follow the pattern. of course insults and outright defiance make him angry, but if mc acted with playful indifference or even sarcastic flirtation, he'd probably get too confused to keep up the dominant facade. it'd be so fun to play those little mind games with him to see how fast you can get him to break.

basically if you respond with fear or anger in his route, it just turns him on. fear makes him feel like he's in control, and anger gives him the opportunity to exert his control. deep down he desires love, but his view of love is so warped by trauma that what he actually craves is control.

I don't think Ren even knows what he wants. maybe having someone who dominates and hurts him will make him feel "normal" again.

the three different outcomes in ren's route (the 3 different outfit changes) are symbolic of the crossroads Ren is at in his life moving forward. he could continue the unhealthy pattern created by strade's presence in his life in one of two ways: becoming his version of strade to replace him, or subconsciously finding a different replacement for strade, (side note: it might not actually mean anything but has anyone else noticed that when u choose to take Ren to the basement and start cutting him, his affection meter stays at purple? you'd think, if anything, it would at least go to zero or be in the negatives.), OR as a third option, taking a potentially healthy approach (when he comes back in his normal clothes after killing Lawrence). the ending "you helped Ren" (which still toxic because if someone kidnapped you from an alleyway, you probably shouldn't stay in contact with them lmao) suggests that Ren COULD very well have normal-ish relationships with people following strade's death, he just needs the right person who is dedicated to meeting Ren where he's at and taking it slow. Ren obviously has a normal conscience buried somewhere underneath all that trauma; he's fundamentally different from Strade in that way. for example, when ren brings mc to their room, if mc asks "how long are you going to keep me here?" or stays silent, he gets uncomfortable. he doesn't think what he's doing is right, he just doesn't know another way. at one point he even tries rationalizing his behavior in the same way strade most likely did, saying things like "you don't understand yet" or "lessons hurt but you learn to appreciate them".

honestly now that I think about it, I think green shirt Ren is Ren's take on who strade was, tank top Ren is him regressing back to who he was in captivity, and grey sweater Ren is his actual personality. I think Ren probably simultaneously blames himself for what happened to him AND is convinced Strade did what he did out of love, or some twisted version of it. but neither of those are true, so his perception of reality is severely skewed.

#i dont know #im just blabbering at this point #WAIT WHAT IF MY NEW TEXT TAG IS LIKE #whoops! im rambling.#HAHAHAHAHA #btd2 #btd #ren hana #boyfriend to death

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junow-honours · 8 months

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Oral Presentation Feedback:

Trying to remember everything..

Unfortunately when under the pressure of orals I didn’t do the best job of answering these questions, so I thought about it further and am writing my responses here

Gender roles- Stereotypes: Reason for archetypes being all male, and the Watcher representing the ‘Father’?

I think it was Noel who asked this? Thank you 👍 I made the decision last year to address specifically ‘male’ archetypes and stereotypes. At the time I was interested in fan bases surrounding male idols, specifically within anime or K-pop because the fan bases are massive and often involved in a lot controversy and toxic behaviours (otherwise being an impressively dedicated type of fanbase.) I also was very interested in Greek myth depictions of the problematic male hero, reminding me of my other interest in film noir ‘anti-heroes’. Then I was interested in men being the dominant gender present in gore media and crime, as both the perpetrators, victims, and watchers. Also interested in male serial killers, and why people tend to romanticise and create fan bases for them.

I am interested in this dynamic between the ‘male idol’ and the ‘female fan’. It is more accepted for females to express their adoration and obsession for male celebrities and idols, it is seen as ‘cute’ and is a stereotypical behaviour for young girls. On the other hand, it isn’t as accepted for men to express their adoration and obsession for female idols- it may come across as predatory or unhealthy- I’m guessing that pornography and the male gaze plays a large role in this.

Within this, I am interested in the Japanese archetype ‘yandere’, which describes a fan whose love, admiration, and devotion is so strong that it is expressed as an excessive obsession and possessiveness. How are the male and female versions of the ‘yandere’ different, and why is it more accepted for one gender?

Conventional attractiveness and unattractiveness playing a role in this. If a serial killer or criminal is conventionally attractive then they are more likely to be deemed as innocent. If an obsessive fan is unattractive then they are labelled as predatory, if they are attractive then they are no longer predatory. Violent and predatory behaviour being ignored in favour of attraction, women being naturally attracted to men with personality traits in the Dark Triad. Good boy vs Bad boy trope.

Without any explicit intention of being controversial, I wanted to utilise stereotypes of men to discuss my field of enquiry. Also, in a way, by viewing certain things through a ‘masculine’ lense (stereotypically logically and ‘without emotion’). The stereotypes of men cover the many aspects of the human condition that I am interested in; violence, desire/ lust, war, anti-hero, anger etc.. Also referring to the idea of ‘men’ encompassing all of humanity, my characters are men but the personalities/ ideals they represent can be applied to anyone.

As for the ‘father figure’ of the Watcher, I was interested in the symbolism of the ‘father’ representing the concept of God and paternal influences. The ‘Father’ as the one inflicting judgment and punishment.

Finally, also interested in the current world’s understanding of ‘masculinity’, and how the notion of masculinity has shifted in our current generation. What are masculine traits, why are some of these traits deemed as oppressive? Why are certain ideologies (liberalism) influencing men to become more feminine?

Is there room for a fourth archetypal character encompassing the idea of ‘Enchantment’?

Thank you Glen, surprisingly this is something I hadn’t even thought about so I’m glad it was brought up. This needs more thought but I can see that a fourth archetype would be necessary. Originally the Victim was supposed to represent this concept in some way, as he was supposed to be the opposite of the Aggressor, so good vs bad. However, after further development of the Victim character I realised that the ideals I wanted him to represent actually weren’t morally ‘good’ or ‘enchanting’. Will think about this more, most definitely.

This statement did remind me however, that I am entirely convinced that there needs to be more realms, ones that aren’t occupied by either god. The roles of my realms have gradually changed from what they were initially supposed to represent. Initially the Overworld was supposed to represent some sort of Utopia, which could be tied to my idea of ‘Enchantment’. However, over the year I have developed these realms further and Glen’s comment made me aware that any sign of ‘Enchantment’ was no longer evident. The Overworld now represents the manifestation of artificial perfection, instant gratification, and the concept of “grass not always being greener on the other side”. The grass is greener in the Overworld, but it is because the grass is plastic.

#notes #discussions #critiques #feedback #oral presentation

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blzzrdstryr · 3 years

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Reveries of turmoil

Yandere!Childe x fatui!reader

[Previous chapter]

Just as you predicted that short and stifled conversation was a portent of future changes. Childe stopped trying to talk to you outside the business, he even avoided your eyes in those rare moments when you looked at him first. Normally obnoxious and persistent Harbinger seemed to deflate in your presence, as his swaggering and blustering attitude disappeared within mere moments.

You would be overjoyed for this turn of events, if you didn’t have any experience of dealing with and tolerating Tartaglia. Childe, as you already established, is a chaos personified, an erratic whirlwind that twists and ruins everything in its way wrapped in human skin and caged by human bones. It wouldn’t be a surprise if some nasty complications arose out of this faux armistice and sneaked upon your unsuspecting self.

Ajax wont do anything drastic, you reassure yourself - the Rite of Descension gets closer and closer with each passing day, he just can't afford to fail this, meaning that he will have to keep you on-field. It would be logical to do so, let you work, but logical sometimes means predictable and nothing about Ajax is predictable.

Fortunately he continued to keep this strange distance as days passed. Was your little episode and words you said to him enough to stop him in his pursuit? Maybe it truly hurt him, maybe it made him see how miserable he was making you, maybe his obsession with you ceased to exist, it’s flames fizzling and going out just as fast as they ignited. You doubt all of it, yet continue to hope for the better, despite the evidence of the opposite shoved in your face.

Ajax will never let go of you, not in the way you want. He killed and tortured people right before your eyes, sometimes had you assist him in doing so. Most of the time this was done in Tsaritsa’s name, for the future of Snezhnaya and her people, just another working assignment regardless of the blood curdling screams and alien agony.

However, in some rare cases the torment of others isn’t something that is totally impersonal to you, sometimes you’re the main cause. Childe is possessive, terribly so. He watches over you like a dragon guarding his gold, scaring away other possible admirers. And if his title and reputation wasn’t enough to keep away whatever poor sod who decided to tempt the dragon, well, other way more grim methods were used.

You never personally witnessed these kinds of torture, but you heard rumours and sometimes saw the bodies after, images that keep reappearing in your nightmares. Maybe this lull is nothing but a quiet before the storm, a short breather after he commits some unforgettable atrocity again.

He personally summons you the day before the Descension. You brace yourself for incoming nonsense, except nothing comes. “Agent [Last]”, he says, his voice tense and restrained.”I need you to attend the Rite of Descension with me. You will be disguised as a civilian", and then he dismisses you, no hint of mind games he likes to play in sight.

You want to hope that he changed, you succeed and fail at the same time - this new Ajax is pleasant, he’s cold and disinterested, just like any boss should be, yet you just can’t relax and focus wholly on doing the job - it’s a privilege only those who haven’t met Tartaglia can afford.

He’s a sea, treacherous and ever changing, calm and serene in one moment, yet violent and crushing in the other.

You spend the day torn between the anxious thoughts of Tartaglia and what he might do and the preparation for upcoming ceremony - it's a once in a lifetime event, it's Tsaritsa’s will and hope, it's Ajax’s eyes focused on you. You can’t afford to fail, you have no right to do so.

Wearing a simple Snezhnayan overcoat with nothing hiding your face is surely strange after years of donning a fatui uniform. Tourists and Liyuens alike pass by, not paying you any attention. Both vision and delusion glow under the thick fabric, asking you to use them.

You walk faster.

The top of the Yujing Terrace is lit with sunlight and full of human sounds, as merchants and other workers haste to finish their tasks and join the people at the top. You look around, quickly noticing the familiar ginger - he stays half-turned to you, his eyes focused on the figure of Tianquan. You quickly avert your gaze, as if not recognizing him, and shift it towards other people - you spot two vision holders among the crowd too - an electro and geo one, and a strange person cladded in the exotic clothes with some sort of flying fairy(?) floating around.

You walk to the altar placing Liyuen flowers nearby the multiple offerings of food, wine and gold, their simple white petals contrasting against the gaudy luxury of the rest.

"Qingxin flowers?", someone suddenly says, a speck of genuine surprise evident in the phrase. Their voice is too close for your comfort - you quickly turn on the heels, alarmed by a person somehow sneaking up on you only to be met with a pair of the golden eyes.

It’s a nicely dressed Liyuen gentleman, with the air of wisdom and elegance surrounding him, an inner dignity shining from beneath, and most importantly the one you saw wearing a vision at the back of the coat. You try to look as calm as possible, despite the senses telling you otherwise - after years of service any vision holder unadorned by the Fatui colors is perceived as a threat.

“Yes, it is”, you quip back, not wanting to look suspicious: “Is this improper? Qingxin as an offering?”, you mimic a light concern - something that would be appropriate for the foreign merchant who might have offended the god of commerce.

“No, not at all”, Liyuen laughs: “just in all of my years, I have never seen anyone offer these flowers”.

“Huh”, you smile, looking at the man before you. Is he a simple liyuen you thought of him at first? He has Geo vision - the symbol of Archaic Lord’s recognition - and the way he said “all of my years” carry more weight than usual, a mark of something hidden beneath the mundane phrase.

“Something tells me, you must have attended every rite of Descension”, you continue, the starter vague and innocent enough - a perfect way to fish out more information. For some reason, his golden eyes widen a bit, it’s subtle and quick enough to go unnoticed by most people, but you’re not the most people - all Fatui agents are trained to catch even the smallest changes and educated in multiple fields, physiognomy included.

What could have caused such a reaction and why did he react the way he did? The Rite of Descension is a prominent event in the life of every Liyuen, even if it’s annual, as thousands of thousands of people traverse great distances to see their god fly down from the heavens and grace his subjects with the wisdom of countless years. You remember seeing Liyuens living in Snezhnaya consistently take a leave every year for a week, when the prominent date showed on the horizon, missing working days and no doubt a lot of nerves, only to see the archon of their homeland.

So why did that man looks so surprised?

“You’re quite perceptive, aren’t you?”, he responds, voice calm and pleasant, despite the masterfully hidden surprise: “And yes, I have always tried my best to be at every Rite to this day. Rex Lapis shares his experience with his people, so it’s an incredibly important day. And what about you? What brings a foreigner here?”, he makes a gesture at your obviously snezhnayan clothes.

“Well, I am a travelling merchant as you can see”, you raise your hands, showing him more of the coat: “Having blessing from the God of Commerce won't hurt, right?". He, again, reacts in the way you haven't anticipated, a handsome face adopting a contemplating expression for a short second.

"Rex Lapis rewards diligent people, work hard and he shall bless you too", he says with an air of wisdom around him, like an old enlightened monk passing his knowledge to the disciples surrounding him: "And you shouldn't keep your vision beneath the layers of cloth. I feel its chill just standing here, who knows what it will do to your body?".

Then he simply turns away and goes to the exit of Yujing terrace, and it’s your turn to suppress the rising agitation - how did he know, where’s he heading now?

“Wait”, you say: “why are you leaving?”

“I dedicated my whole life to my job, which consists of a collection of small and incredibly repetitive tasks, they took up most of my attention and I slowly, but surely became a creature of habit, deaf and blind outside its limited field of experience and comfort zone. Time never stops, so I decided to leave the work I’ve been entrusted with, and I want to start it by breaking my strongest habit - religiously attending every Rite of Descension”.

“Ah”, you reply, equally impressed by his speech, and feeling that you are talking about two completely different and unrelated topics: “well, good luck on that”.

More and more people flood the terrace as one of the main threats to your plans finally arrives - stern and ambitious, Ningguang looks as elegant and intimidating as ever, geo vision and the tassel attached to it, shaking with every graceful step. She throws a short glance at Tartaglia - he stands surrounded by the rest of the agents - yet her face doesn’t change even a bit, whatever hostility she may hold for your faction masterfully suppressed.

You quickly look around - tourists and citizens arrive at the last minutes and milleliths come with them. Soon, all of the exits are heavily guarded by at least four soldiers, all carrying spears and clad in armour - surely a necessary precaution, given the presence of Fatui and their Harbinger.

There are no milleliths among the crowd though, not in the on-duty uniform at least. You study the group again, this time looking for anyone with weapons, as someone lightly pushes you away - it’s that foreigner again. “I am sorry, we need to go closer”, the pixie-like creature apologizes, as it flies after the stranger, and you conclude that there are no armed people, except you, Tartaglia, milleliths, Ningguang and that strange person.

“The hour is upon us”, Tianquan starts, after looking at the bright sun above, two women around her slightly bowing down, as she invokes the power of geo. The gold glow surrounds and illuminates her whole figure, before condensing into hard rocks of the same shade. They shine and fly around her for a bit, leaving the yellow trails behind before starting to spin around the shrine in the middle of the rock table.

Soon the golden inscriptions on the shrine start to glow too, before it sends a bright orange beam into the blue sky. The crowd "Oh!"s and "Ah!"s as the clouds deform around the pillar of light.

Tension, so thick it can be tasted, descends in the waves upon the Terrace as some - carefree and ignorant - hold their breaths in excitement and anticipation, whilst the rest focus in caution - Fatui and Qingxin alike. You shift, taking out both vision and delusion out of your coat, as your eyes frantically shift between Tianquan, Tartaglia and the spiraling clouds above, your whole being ready to aid Childe in his mission.

And then something unexpected happens: a majestic dragon does descend to his people. By falling straight to the ground. Serpentine body slumps around the crushed offerings, elongated tongue escaping the confines of the maw.

A long second of absolute silence passes before Ningguang collects herself, checks the body and orders milleliths to close off all the exits, as the crowd erupts into turmoil and chaos realizing what exactly has happened. You disguise amongst the panicking masses, hiding two glowing orbs in the deep pockets of your coat,before looking at Tartaglia again - he in turn intently stares at the blonde foreigner, who quite clumsily tries to sneak past the soldiers.

Milleliths catch onto that running after the stranger and you use this opportunity, turning invisible in the same second. People around you are too panicked to question your sudden disappearance or the unnaturally cold breeze swaying past them, as you make your way - Childe has already departed, chasing after the group of soldiers, and Ningguang is seen leaving too, giving the last orders, before turning to the Yuehai pavillion.

You contemplate for a second, unsure what to do - Tartaglia has ordered you to aid him in case of Qixing intervention, there was nothing about the death of your target and the glimpse into Tianquan’s actions might be a key to solving the mystery of said departure. The thing that you plan to do is opportunistic, reckless even - who would have known that Ajax will rub off onto you? You chase after Ningguang, careful to keep yourself invisible.

Who is Rex Lapis’ murderer?

She goes up to the aged man standing at the stairs of the pavilion, they exchange a couple of words before Ningguang steps up on the little floating island and it starts to levitate! You run after her, still unsure what to do - the platform is too small, Tianquan will no doubt feel the chill coming from you, but the opportunity to learn what Qixing are planning is too good to miss.

In the end, you come to compromise, jumping after the rising platform, as your hands clutch into its rough protrusions and you grit your teeth, enduring the pain and cold from the vision overuse. The little island rises higher and higher, as people and buildings underneath turn into small dots. Your fingers start to slide off a couple of times, yet you grab onto the island with a renewed strength everytime that happens, asking Tsaritsa to let fortune favour you.

The platform finally stops moving, and you pull up, once you hear her heels clicking away.

Jade chamber, as it turns out, exceeds all rumours, luxurious and opulent, shining above the prosperous city, it glows under the sunlight with a golden radiance. You would have stopped to admire it if it wasn’t for your goal. You sneak after Ningguang, following her to the office as she takes out papers and folders from the shelves. She focuses on them, as you carefully step near her, glancing at what she’s reading - it’s reports of fatui activity throughout the months, leading to this day, thankfully vague and very far from reality.

Does it mean that she also has no idea of what or who caused Rex Lapis’ death and tries to find his killer? Or does it mean that she looks for a way to deduct Fatui's next actions?

You don’t have time to contemplate, as the frost worsens and you feel cryo energy exhausting from the overuse - one more minute and you’ll become visible. You quickly walk away - you don’t have enough time to reach that platform, so you do the most logical thing - fling yourself out of the window, opening the wings of the glider halfway the jump.

You push the most of your invisibility, letting go of the cryo powers once you're only a couple of meters above the ground. In the end you find yourself tired and frozen to the very bones, slowly coming back to the Northland bank.

***

You approach the building as the Sun begins to set - its pink-orange rays dying everything in the warm glow. The bank looks glorious like that, sinking in the reddish tones, it looks like an illustration out of children’s books - a place of something miraculous, a place of something hopeful.

“Hi”, you throw to the tired Vlad and he nods, after suppressing an escaping yawn: “Is boss here?”

“Yeah”, he croaks, drowsiness evident in his speech: “came back like an hour or two ago. Can’t really remember”.

“Huh.. Well, thanks”, and with these words you enter the bank, pushing the doors and preparing yourself for the confrontation to come.

After chatting with Ekaterina and confirming that yes, he is in his office, you head for the staircase, all of the information you learned today buzzing inside your head.

Childe sits, hunched over the papers, as you enter, not paying you even the sliver of attention. For some reason he’s in a different clothes.

“Eleventh Harbinger”, you start the standard greeting, all formal and stiff: “this subordinate has finished the task”.

This finally prompts him to raise his head, cold blue eyes look at you, no hint of the usual obsessiveness in sight: "you may speak, agent" he succinctly says, putting the writing feather aside. You quickly report to him all you have seen today, without your own thoughts involved - they’re just baseless theories, after all.

“So you say, Tianquan was reading the reports about Fatui activity. Haven’t you destroyed those reports earlier?”

“Those papers contained nothing about the current situation, they were actually far from reality, I doubt that any of those reports survived the fire”.

“Seems, I’ll have to take your word for it”, a sigh, he leans closer in his seat, propping left cheek on the palm: “Why did Tianquan look at them? What was she trying to do? Pin her crime on us?”, he glances at you again, gesturing that you can speak your mind and you do.

“Highly unlikely, sir. From the short time I spent watching her and her reputation, I have an impression that Qixing Tianquan is a person who prefers to plan her every action. If she or any other Qixing higher up, were the one who murdered our target, then every needed preparation would be done months, if not even years in advance. She would somehow cast us as the killers right at the ceremony, in front of thousands of Liyuens, making us a scapegoat for public outrage and creating alibi for herself”.

“So, that’s how you think”, he hums, blue eyes deep in thought: “Your entire conclusion is based on the mere impression. With Tianquan’s ambition I wouldn’t be surprised if she was the one behind this...”, a vague hand gesture: “catastrophic situation”.

“When I sneaked inside the Jade chamber, she looked very frantic, it didn’t show on her face, but her movements were harsh and quick, lacking any of her elegance. She looked like she tried to keep herself together”.

“Anyone would try to do that, especially after killing a god”, he looks somewhere to the left, no doubt imagining battling the dead archon: “Well, my conclusion isn’t based on anything solid either. We don’t know who killed Rex Lapis, but we still need to somehow obtain his gnosis”, the last part isn’t addressed directly to you, it seems that Ajax just decided to voice out his worries.

“You can go”, he says, standing up from the table. You are touching the door handle, when you hear him asking:”what’s with your hand?”. The tone is nothing like that time, yet shivers still go up your spine when you remember what happened that day.

"Frostbite, from my vision", he comes closer to you, hand outstretched to yours: “Can I?”, he asks and waits for your faint nod, before gently pulling it closer to his face.

“It’s a second degree”, he mumbles, inspecting the white-blue discolorations and small angry blisters - the skin throbs and aches at his touch, yet most of it remains numb, muffled, like sounds underwater: “You should get it treated”.

“I should”, you agree, eager to leave this room and situation: “I will ask medics for some..”

“I already discharged them”, his hand suddenly shifts, now resting atop of the door handle, his frame suddenly looming over you: “I have a medkit here, with the ointments and balms. Maybe you should stay here and let me patch you up?”

Why did you even think that Childe could change?

***

Ajax has you sitting on his chair, with sleeves rolled up to the very elbows, as he frets around you - checking the temperature, pulling the warm water closer to you and taking out needed medicine out of the kit. It’s mostly silent, except the tune he quietly hums - Childe looks peaceful and content like this, maybe he likes caring for you.

“Does it hurt?”, he takes a discolored finger, probing around the blister, as the warm hydro energy engulfs your damaged hand. The burst of sensation explodes at this action - pain, tingling, throbbing, even relief.

“Bearable”.

“Understood”, Childe gets back to his task, continuing to rewarm your hands, still humming that tune as he does so. He takes out the healing ointment, when the healthy color and warmth returns to your limbs and spreads it on the skin, bitter herbal scent filling the room in an instant.

“[First]”, he says, as he rubs the place between the index and middle fingers: “I think we need to talk. About that day and your reaction”.

“And what about it?”, you respond, too quickly and snappy for the calm-facade - the memories of that day, of what you thought he will do to you, of how he witnessed you falling apart - all of these are too much, a maelstrom of conflicted feelings rising every time your thoughts stray to this topic. He finishes applying the balm and now switches to the bandanges, wrapping treated hands in them.

“Don’t you think you treat me too harshly, [First]? I understand I may have been… unpleasant in the Past, but I thought we moved past that. What have I done to warrant such ire?”, he says it with his usual smile, but there's a tense, heavy tinge in his words. It’s subtle enough to miss, but you knew Ajax since you both were fourteen, so the strain doesn’t go unnoticed.

Everything, you want to coldly respond, but you stop yourself again - Ajax is still a Harbinger, even if he trailed your steps at the training camp like an overeager and highly murderous puppy not even a decade ago, no matter your own feelings or sentiments or even experiences he still holds that power over you, whether he realizes it or not.

“There were.. things”, broken bones, coppery scent of blood, someone else screams: “training with you wasn’t pleasant for sure”. Childe laughs at the last part, yet the tension clouding in the air doesn’t dissipate, turning more tangible instead.

“I see”, a long pause: “I want to prove you're wrong, I want to prove you that I will never do something against your will”.

You already did. You stay silent at that, anger and fury and frustration boiling underneath, burning and scorching your insides like a magma moments before the eruption. His hands finally wrap the last layer of bandage, tying the ends into a neat little bow, yet he doesn’t let your palm out of your hold, as his lips hover over it, breath burning the skin even through the fabric. And then he releases it, not doing anything.

“Good luck with that”, you finally suppress the inner storm, and stand up from the chair, quickly heading to the door. The place where he almost kissed your tingles and throbs with a renewed strength. Your cheeks burn for some reason.

#Yandere Genshin impact #Yandere genshin #Yandere Childe #yandere genshin x reader #Yandere tartaglia #yandere genshin impact x reader #yandere childe x reader #male yandere #yandere #yandere x reader #my writing

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animeyanderelover · 3 years

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Hello again! Can I have prompt 46 with Ash? Tnx

Recently I told my friend that I had a lot of requests about him and she laughed about it. She doesn't really like him, but she gives him credit since he looks good.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, extreme paranoia, isolation, desperation, mentions of kidnapping,overprotectiveness, mentions of self-harm, Stockholm syndrome

Prompt 46: "Can I...can I kiss you?"

It was nothing less than a miracle that someone like you existed, someone who was cleansed from all the sins of this world and the corruption of humans. You were radiating with everything Ash had wanted for this world, a world that he wanted to give to you. It was the minimum from what she should and would do for you, it was his duty as your very own guardian angel. A role he was utterly dedicated too, devoted to his very own angel who forgave him his sins every time.

It was true, you had forgiven him his crimes already a long time ago as everything around you had started to fade away and you had lost count of how long exactly you had been stuck in here. Somewhere around one and a half years would be your expectation, looking on how the seasons had changed through the large and closed windows which symbolized your loss of freedom. But you didn't mind anymore.

You only needed and wanted Ash, your guardian angel.

There was clear tension in his body, you could feel how he stiffened up under your embrace. He had never really received that sort of affection before from anyone nor would he have ever wanted it from all those worthless lives walking around freely. You were the only person he actually wanted any sort of touches from. That was how pure you were, even causing someone like him craving something and falling victim to his own desires. And it was his own fault for being so weak-minded. He didn't deserve you yet letting you perish outside would be an even greater sin. He had to keep you safe.

"My Queen...what are you doing?"

Being able to keep his composure was important in front of you, though he remembered to have failed multiple times in the past already. Severe punishment was the only thing he could think of to atone for his failures for not being good enough, for proving himself to be so incredibly useless. Even now he could feel some unhealed wounds aching a bit, but you didn't have to know about his weakness and incompetence.

You blinked slightly confused up at him when he asked you such an obvious question, but it soon turned into slight giggling that instantly plunged Ash's heart into painfully warm emotions and forced his eyes to get wet. It had taken a while until you had been able to look so happy after he had quickly rescued you from all the evil waiting to devour you. The distress he had felt back then could never be put in words and no burns, knifes and broken bones had been able to make up for what you had been suffering under. Even now it remained as a anxiety deeply stuck in his heart. But looking at you now, smiling at him and not staring with wide eyes filled with fear at him, was worth much more than his whole life could ever repay you.

"I’m hugging you. It’s just that you always look so worried and stressed over my safety and never appear to take a rest. Just now you did as well so I thought this might help you a bit. A strong hug can be more worth than thousand words after all. That’s what my mother told me at least when I was younger.”, you replied softly, pressing your face deeper into his chest with a content look on your face.

There was nothing Ash could think of for a few moments, instead he seared the scene in front of him deep into his brain, how you were currently buried into his chest, looking so happy and peaceful. So stunning and precious.

Tears were quick to escape his eyes only seconds later, his insides stirring up with warmth that stung him and yet baked him with something he hadn’t felt in so long. Comfort and peace.

This was exactly why he had to protect you with his very own life, no one was allowed to snuff out the light you carried inside of you and that was able to even share it’s warmth with him. You possessed too much kindness to understand, but normal humans only destroyed what they touched, ruining it with their greed.

He wouldn’t let them do the same to you.

He would kill everyone who would even do as much as getting too close.

He just had to guarantee that you would live.

But first of all he had to calm himself down or otherwise he might worry you even more than he seemed to have done already. The tears were quickly wiped away with his sleeves before Ash was able to look at you again, still feeling like he wanted to continue crying. His heart felt like it might burst at any moment.

“You have so much warmth and love inside of you that I don’t think I deserve any of it. You shouldn’t even be concerned about me, I merely do what I have to do as your guardian. If you were to fall victim to this damned place, I would perish as well. What use is an angel who can’t even protect their chosen one?”

Pain was twisting his voice and face a bit when he dared to imagine how a world without you would be, a world filled with grief and darkness for him. Letting his guard down would be a fatal mistake, he had seen the worst of this world and the humans and he knew that it would happen again. That was why he had to be like this for you were his heart beating outside his chest. If something were to ever happen to you...

The angel hadn't even noticed that he had already started crying again, fist tightened and body shaking whilst getting lost in fears of losing the one good and bright thing this world had still left.

"But for me you're more than just a guardian angel. You're my angel and I want you to feel happy as well. I want you to feel loved as well. You do so much for me, but I feel like I only cause you stress and uneasiness. Shouldn't you be happy because of me?", you asked him in slight protest, feeling sadness whilst seeing the man you had come to love like this again because of you. You had never seen him truly relaxed nor had you ever been able to show him your feelings. He wouldn't let you, not thinking that he deserved you.

His reaction was instant, suddenly falling on his knees upon hearing from what you had said that he had disappointed you yet again, the visible look of your sorrow only stabbing his fear deeper into his very soul.

"I-I am so sorry! I didn't know that you felt this way only because I was so selfish to only think about myself like this! I don't deserve your forgiveness and accept any sort of-"

When he felt the soft sensation of your hands cupping his stained cheeks, he abruptly stopped his rambling, trying to not choke on his own breath that had gotten irregular.

"You don't have to apologize to me. I don't want to hear you saying such things about yourself. Don't you understand? I am unhappy whenever you are like this, seeing yourself as so worthless and not deserving of my love. That's what hurts me so much. You're rejecting my feelings. I love you, Ash. And I want to know if you do too. Because if you do, please stop talking like this and behave so distantly."

Your voice conveyed every bit emotion that was going on inside of you in that moment, something that Ash noticed with widened eyes as well.

Silence was cut short by him when he realized that you wanted something crucial from him which he would gladly give you. He had never considered that you would ever consider his love as something you wanted, consider him as someone you loved. When had been the last time someone had been truly kind to him and loved him? He couldn't remember anymore.

"Of course I do. You should never doubt my feelings for you. I love you more than you could ever imagine. It's impossible to function without you.", he managed to reply with a shaking voice as he grabbed both of your hands in his own.

"Then why are you acting like this? Everyone deserves someone who loves them. Without love it's a very painful life, isn't it? That's why I am hurting as well. Let me love you and I promise that you'll be able to feel peace as well.", you muttered slightly embarrassed out, leaning your head down so your forehead could rest against his own.

Slight sobs were starting to catch up to Ash as he was staring in pure awe at you.

"Thank you. I'll be better and make sure that I won't cause you sadness anymore.", he pressed out, tightening his grip on your hands only the slightest bit so he wouldn't hurt you.

"I'm glad to hear that.", you replied with a sincere smile on your face, joy stirring your heart up just by seeing that for the first time since he had abducted you, Ash was looking relieved and less tense. He just looked extremely grateful.

"May I ask you for a favor then?", you requested with a certain idea in mind.

"I'll do anything for you.", Ash replied, sounding very emotional.

"I want to do something for you for once since you normally do anything for me."

Hesitation and clear dislike instantly shadowed his face, the thought of him asking something from you going against Ash's belief in all the wrong ways. You shouldn't have to do him favors.

"It doesn't have to be something difficult. It can be a really simple thing. Just...something that I can do for you this once. Please.", you begged slightly, seeing the angel already struggling. You knew how he felt about such things, he hated letting you do something for him and he had never done it before either. Ash saw it only upon himself to serve you which was another thing that sometimes made you feel guilty. You wanted to do more for him as well.

"Can I...can I kiss you?"

Maybe that had been more a slip of his tongue, but he had been slightly panicking since hadn't want to sadden you again nor had he wanted you to do physical work for him. It was supposed to be the other way around.

So when he had stared for a moment at your face, eyes locked on your lips, he had considered somewhere deep in his mind possibilities which he had been fantasizing about a few times before, but hadn't thought that they would actually have a change of happening.

In his opinion they were still sinful, it would take a while for him to get used to the idea that you wanted to receive physical affection and love from him. The first impulse when he realized what he had said was instantly apologizing, only to be interrupted before he could even start saying anything.

You had already leaned down to fulfill him his wish before he could take it back again.

#yandere black butler #yandere kuroshitsuji #yandere ash #yandere ash landers

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benjaminmoorepaint · 3 years

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red: the color of...grantaire?

Figured I might do another meta post like the one I did for Marius to address the myths and misconceptions surrounding certain characters, so it's Grantaire's turn!

I'm sure we all know Grantaire quite well...a sensitive starving artist, with his Apollo as his muse, and a cynic who pragmatically points out the flaws in Enjolras's idealism, which they quarrel over.

Let's unpack that!

Grantaire is most likely middle class if not wealthy, he is certainly not poor. We don't know what he's studying (if he's studying at all) but he is nevertheless a quintessentially Parisian bourgeoise "student", much like Bahorel. "A rover, a gambler, a libertine..." As the foil of "severe in his enjoyments" Enjolras, Grantaire is a pleasure-seeker, indulging in the excesses that Enjolras disdains.

Again, though we don't know what Grantaire is studying (and I suspect he's just Bahorel-ing it) he's clearly an educated man, judging by the references he throws into his speeches, and he mentions that he once was a student of Gros.

So is he really an artist? He might have been an apprentice at some point, but it's clear he was not particularly enthused by it. After all, discipline is something that Grantaire…lacks. And because it's Grantaire, you can't completely discount the idea that he made it up just for a pun (though I do find that unlikely.) But it's a triple (quadruple?) play--it's important not to take this quote too far out of context because he's actually saying several things here.

It is a shame that I am ignorant, otherwise I would quote to you a mass of things; but I know nothing. For instance, I have always been witty; when I was a pupil of Gros, instead of daubing wretched little pictures, I passed my time in pilfering apples; rapin is the masculine of rapine. So much for myself; as for the rest of you, you are worth no more than I am. I scoff at your perfections, excellencies, and qualities. Every good quality tends towards a defect [...] there are just as many vices in virtue as there are holes in Diogenes’ cloak.

Gros was a well-known neoclassical painter of the time, and I believe Hugo's inclusion of him here is a jab at the neoclassicists, as Grantaire doesn't seem to care for him.

There's a pun! "Rapin"--term for a painter's assistant--is the masculine of "rapine"--to steal.

So he likely means he stole the apples intended to be painted for a still life, which fits his careless attitude... but he's ironically putting himself down for it too, and at the same time

putting his companions down, saying they're no better than him even if they do have more "good" qualities because each good quality has a corresponding downside, so what's the point, really?

You can see that even in this small sample of his speech that Grantaire often has layers upon layers of meaning in what he says. He's a smart guy! But that means you can't always take what he says at face value, as Hugo says, he's constantly "reasoning and contradicting" himself. So let me invite you further down into what I think his real meaning is here (though now firmly into the depths of my own conjecture, so others may have different interpretations.)

I would speculate that "the rest of you" who he professes to mock refers mostly to a specific person, you can probably guess who. After all, Enjolras is surely the paragon of virtue among them, and you could certainly argue that his good qualities edge on being flaws. I think Grantaire is right about that, and it's a sort of theme we see pop up again and again--the Bishop's generosity does hurt the women he lives with, Valjean's self-sacrifice hurts Cosette, and Javert is someone who's tipped all the way over to his virtues being vices.

But like, man, come on. Seriously. "I scoff at your perfections, excellencies, and qualities." Dude. We all know that you're obsessed with this man.

And you might notice that this is just a whole lot of Grantaire talking and talking over people, never letting anyone else get a word in. It's not a debate, Grantaire never actually debates anyone, let alone Enjolras. The idea of Grantaire debating Enjolras and making him see the flaws in his idealistic revolution is wholly a fandom invention.

The closest we get, really, is Grantaire trying to convince Enjolras to send him to the Barriere du Maine...and Grantaire doesn't come out of that looking so good.

“Do you know anything of those comrades who meet at Richefeu’s?”

“Not much. We only address each other as tu.”

“What will you say to them?”

“I will speak to them of Robespierre, pardi! Of Danton. Of principles.”

“You?”

“I. But I don’t receive justice. When I set about it, I am terrible. I have read Prudhomme, I know the Social Contract, I know my constitution of the year Two by heart. ‘The liberty of one citizen ends where the liberty of another citizen begins.’ Do you take me for a brute? I have an old bank-bill of the Republic in my drawer. The Rights of Man, the sovereignty of the people, sapristi! I am even a bit of a Hébertist. I can talk the most superb twaddle for six hours by the clock, watch in hand.”

I won't bother going too in-depth here since you're probably familiar with all this--Grantaire talks a big game and then fails to follow through. And we see one of two red waistcoats mentioned, neither of which are worn by Enjolras.

Grantaire lived in furnished lodgings very near the Café Musain. He went out, and five minutes later he returned. He had gone home to put on a Robespierre waistcoat.

“Red,” said he as he entered, and he looked intently at Enjolras. Then, with the palm of his energetic hand, he laid the two scarlet points of the waistcoat across his breast.

So yeah, it's actually Grantaire who wears red, at least canonically! I know their popular red/green color scheme comes from the musical, but it might be fun to reverse it sometimes...I think Enjolras would look great in a nice emerald green, and he'd be more likely to wear that, actually.

Why? A red waistcoat like would be a very obvious, in-your-face political statement--perfect for Bahorel, the other red waistcoat wearer, but Enjolras is actually a lot more reserved and less reckless than fandom sometimes makes him out to be. Wearing something that blatant isn't really his style.

The real question is, why does Grantaire, of all people, own one? Why has he read Prudhomme and the Social Contract and the Rights of Man?

Grantaire is not a super sympathetic character. He's a man of means, talent, intelligence...and he wastes those gifts and privileges on doing nothing, he has no aims in life, he does not aspire to do better or make the world better. He may be Enjolras's foil but I would also contrast him with Feuilly, who has spent his life dedicated to improving himself and the world despite the challenges he's faced. He's obnoxious to women, denigrates his friends for their beliefs, and is generally useless. He's given the opportunity to change and he squanders it. He's not so much cynical (because that's a belief) as he is indifferent, which is arguably worse. His indifference can certainly be read as symbolic within the group, their belief versus the apathy of the world.

But, layers upon layers...Grantaire does have a good heart hiding underneath all that. What I've been getting at all along here is that he does care; he may say he doesn't, he may even believe he doesn't, but he does, clearly, care. He says he hates mankind; he loves people. He says he scoffs at his companions; he admires them. He declares himself indifferent, yet he can't help but talk about the sufferings of the world.

Which isn't to say that simply caring absolves him of anything. Up to this point, he's still just been a useless layabout. What does absolve him (narratively speaking) is the first time, possibly the first time in his life, that he chooses to act. He chooses to take a stand. And this transfigures him, as Hugo says.

Grantaire had risen. The immense gleam of the whole combat which he had missed, and in which he had had no part, appeared in the brilliant glance of the transfigured drunken man.

At the last moment, he chooses to believe, and Enjolras finally accepts him.

One last thing: Grantaire never calls Enjolras "Apollo". Furthermore, he's actually the only one who couldn't have called him "Apollo". The only line where this nickname is mentioned is as follows:

It was of him, possibly, that a witness spoke afterwards, before the council of war: “There was an insurgent whom I heard called Apollo.”

Who could have called him that? Not Grantaire, he was fast asleep during the whole thing. So I choose to believe it was Prouvaire…he would.

#grantaire #meta

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hanadolphieron · 3 years

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HOGWARTS AU~

a/n- i do not support jk rowling. this is your (my beautiful, show-stopping, magnificent followers’) christmas gift and i hope she’s annoyed by the fact that a liberal pansexual and a lesbian fanfiction writer wrote a giant post centered around a universe she created ;)

another a/n- i hope all of my oomfies enjoy this, i spent an entire month writing it because i love you guys so much! you have made my year so much better!!!!!!!! big heart!

another another a/b- i started writing for ateez after i finished this, so that’s why they’re not on there. i would put them in, however i have written fifty-four of these and am a wee bit drained :)

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GRYFFINDOR~

colors; scarlet and gold

traits; bravery, daring, nerve, chivalry

element; fire

symbol; the lion

head of house; chungha

members; nayeon, chaeyoung, jisoo, yeji, ryujin, yuna, mia, sakura, yujin, heejin, chaewon, chungha, winter, somi

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HUFFLEPUFF~

colors; yellow and black

traits; hard work, dedication, loyalty, patience, fair play

element; earth

symbol; the badger

head of house; haseul

members; sana, dahyun, rosé, lia, e:u, onda, chaeyeon, chaewon, nako, wonyoung, jinsoul, haseul, chuu, yeojin, giselle, ningning

________________________

SLYTHERIN~

colors; emerald and silver

traits; ambition, leadership, self-preservation, cunning, resourcefulness

element; water

symbol; serpent

head of house; eunbi

members; jeongyeon, momo, jihyo, jennie, sihyeon, eunbi, yena, minju, yves, olivia hye

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RAVENCLAW~

colors; blue and bronze

traits; intelligence, curiosity, knowledge, creativity, wit

element; air

symbol; eagle

head of house; mina

members; mina, tzuyu, lisa, chaeryeong, aisha, yiren, hyewon, hitomi, yuri, vivi, kim lip, hyunjin, choerry, karina

________________________

PROFILES~

nayeon is a prefect, of course, she used to be the head of house but chungha succeeded her after nayeon decided to focus more on her studies

headcannon that nayeon and chungha are are lowkey besties

they don’t talk much, but they respect each other and always like to have nice chats about the school

but other than her leadership roles, nayeon is like the older sister of the gryffindor house

sort of has no idea what’s going on sometimes but tries her best because everyone asks her for advice

cries at graduation because she loves hogwarts so much

ends up working at the ministry of magic

she’s so perfect help🥺

________________________

definitely has a hufflepuff s/o

i refuse to believe anything else

is everyone’s crush, ryujin follows in her footsteps

is the slytherin seeker, probably flusters the other seekers because she’s intimidating but so gorgeous and charismatic

sorry for projecting my love of jeongyeon but i had to

is excellent at potions and has taught the class at some point

really enjoys hogwarts and takes advantage of all the fun magic it has to offer

is always in the library finding mystery books to read

dark, gothic academia hhhhh

snuck in two kittens along with her owl because she didn’t want to choose

nobody noticed because everyone’s too scared to go into the slytherin common room

________________________

famous for bringing a whole ass snake as a pet instead of you know, the legal pets like toads, owls, and cats

starts a dance team

except everyone’s mildly terrified to join because she looks really intimidating

when in reality the only bad thing she’s ever done is stealing sana’s cat because she wanted something to cuddle

and when sana took her cat momo dragged sana over inside to snuggle

as a first year she cried in front of her class one time for some reason that her brain has forgotten to protect her because she freaked the fck out

because she was afraid of tarnishing her scary slytherin reputation

now, she’ll have a good swig of butterbeer and wipe a tear away over how good it tastes (because finals)

________________________

has most adorable cat, like seriously it’s almost as cute as her🥺

gets drunk on butterbeer constantly

it’s becoming a slight issue

but it’s hard for anyone to stop her, as she works part-time at the three broomsticks and will make you pay more taxes if you annoy her

acts like a slytherin sometimes

because she’s good at everything the slytherin’s do

but sana’s a true hufflepuff at heart, she’s always looking to make people smile

her pranks are always to create a good atmosphere, not to aggravate people

makes hand-made scarves for everyone at christmas

________________________

thought she was a gryffindor her entire life

and then the sorting cat called out “slytherin” the second it touched her head

jihyo went 👁👄👁

but she ended up loving her house, and fit right in with her new friends

hates all the cats but they cling to her for spite

(she highkey actually adores them)

LOUD because she’s obsessed with quidditch

like seriously, obsessed, she will never shut up about the chudley cannons (i hope that’s their name) and will talk your ear off for hours just chatting about one game

sits in the library for peace and quiet, but sighs constantly and keeps getting glared at

couldn’t care less though, she needs deep breaths to sustain her sanity

________________________

everyone loves her!

she’s one of those people you bring up in conversation just to compliment? because she’s so respectable and wholesome and nice and beautiful and perfect?

leads ravenclaw so well :(

will stay up all night helping younger kids with their classes or subjects that they’re wildly interested in

makes quizlets for everything, her account lags because so many people are using it at one time

goes into the forest at night and dances as a way to relieve stress (we love an aesthetic queen)

________________________

gets into trouble so much

will risk her education to make people laugh

everyone respects her for it, even the teachers, so she never has many consequences because everyone needs some laughter in their lives

a beater for hufflepuff we love to see it

painted her bat like a badger and calls it tommy

has fallen off her broom more than once because she gets really distracted

the only class she truly focuses on is transfiguration

she loves it for some weird reason and does extra lessons with professor mcgonagall

no one questions it though, because she’s kim dahyun

________________________

the one who comforts everyone in gryffindor

sometimes expectations to be brave and self-assured can be too much for her fellow house-mates, so chaeyoung takes the role of making them feel safe and helping them relax

the expert at caring for the cats

something about her makes them flock around her feet

they’re always swarming around her feet

one time she actually tripped over one them and broke her shin

but luckily, professor sprout (aka her best friend) helped her through it with some medicinal herbs and long conversations about plants

always wearing comfy clothes

wears a scarf in the dorms for some reason

________________________

has the prettiest owl to ever exist

and its eyes match up perfectly with hers

everyone has a headcannon that they’re actually twins

which would entail that tzuyu was born a bird but somehow turned into a human

but no one really dwells on that

caught mina when she was dancing in the forest at night

but vowed never to tell anyone

and now mina invites her to come watch and dance herself

tzuyu actually drew her one time and mina just about melted of embarrassment and pride and happiness because tzuyu? just drew a picture of her? and it makes her feel so cool and magical?

________________________

empress cat (along with hyunjin and chaeyoung)

those three have the sweetest relationship, you can always find them cooing about the cats together (while holding the cats themselves)

has an obsession with the whomping willow

always sits next to it after she managed to tame it

reads and does her studies there

is undisturbed and loves it

knows all the staircases for some reason, like has given them names and nobody knows how she’s memorized them all

but if you’re ever lost, jisoo will appear out of nowhere to help

________________________

somehow manages to make time for everything

spends most of her time in the library, but also excels at quidditch? and makes it to all of the practices? like jennie stop being so talented (but please don’t we love it)

everyone’s like what an ambitious slytherin smh

cast her patronus on the first try

and screamed because she had a snow leopard! and they’re so adorable!

probably started crying just being honest

intimidates everyone but is a huge softie

has a close-knit group of friends

reminds me of a wolf? for some reason

________________________

a master at quidditch!

plays chaser on the hufflepuff team and is the captain as well

along with those leader positions, chaeyoung is also prefect

basically, she loves to p r o t e c t

what a hufflepuff smh

laughs so much it’s worrying, you can always hear her giggling throughout the halls of hogwarts

brought a frog

does not regret it at all, she loves zucchini (the frog) with all her heart

keeps it in her jacket pocket

ribbiting noises erupt in the middle of class

________________________

a beater for gryffinor i mean what were you expecting

was the first person to join momo’s dance team

which scared even more people away (youth with you anyone?)

but lisa is still so sweet, always helping people out

smiles at every single person she passes

her cheeks hurt by the end of the day, partly because of what i just mentioned and partly because rose makes her laugh so much

chases all the cats around

they act tormented but when have cats ever been honest when they like something a human is doing for them

they need the exercise, rose feeds them too much

________________________

looks like a slytherin because of her eyes

but is a true gryffindor at heart, always being brave and kind to her friends and standing up for everyone

almost all of her friends are in gryffindor :) except for lia, who is arguably the most chaotic but stops them from doing anything too dumb

and chaeryeong, who helps more with the excitement management

yeji is a chaser on the gryffindor quidditch team (we been knew) and scores so much the point keeper (?) loses count

definitely has a cat

who snuggles with her in the common room and everyone wants to cry over how cute they both are

everyone talks about how she looks like her cat ;0

is pretty popular, although she’s still so humble

________________________

gosh this ADORABLE HUFFLEPUFF

will tackle you if you wrong her, her friends, her plants, or steal her food

got lost on her first day and missed the whole day of classes

was so embarrassed and probably cried poor jisu

but haseul to the rescue! came and comforted her, we love a supportive hufflepuff family

daydreams all the time

professor sprout (is that her name i haven’t read these books in a while) is her best friend and she eats lunch with her sometimes🥺

all the teacher’s love her

except she’s pretty quiet in class, except for her maniacal laughing at chaeryeong sometimes

her and chae are The Best Friends TM

________________________

everyone’s crush who are we kidding (fboi ryu)

a beater, always protects yeji and she loves it, always getting flustered over ryujin

even though ryu’s been doing it for years (however the winks she throws in yeji’s directions would make anyone falter)

the best in class at defense against the dark arts

got her patronus, a black bear, within a few minutes after learning the lesson

and everyone was like 👀 but honestly not that surprised, because come on it’s shin ryujin herself!

shows off her skills (in everything she attempts) all the time and everyone loves it

in general very well liked, her vibe is so comforting and realistic, and she always says the rights things

________________________

patronus = ostrich

chae was so annoyed with this honestly, i mean she’s trying to be this cool light academia ravenclaw and her patronus is an ostrich...

like really. really.

everyone laughed at her disappointing patronus, but chaeryeong didn’t care, she was actually beginning to love its uniqueness

throughout the school, chae is known for her adorably caring personality akin to a hufflepuff along with her wisdom

she helps everyone :(

friends with everyone despite being introverted

probably eats lunch with professor flitwick

she’s just too nice

her aesthetic, as i said, is light academia and she pulls it off so well

organizes all the chants at quidditch games

________________________

fred and george but one person

the gryffindor common room is in absolute chaos whenever she’s present

her laugh is contagious and can be heard all throughout the dorms, creating a beautiful sense of togetherness and happiness

keeps everyone’s faith in humanity

the loudest at al the quidditch games

teases her friends 100% of the time but will always hug and comfort them when they’re down

can make anyone smile within a few seconds

hangs out in the kitchen

terrorizes all her dormmates cats

they still sleep with her at night though, her bed is covered in cat fur

________________________

spends all of her time in the kitchens

her friends are always begging her to bring food back to the common rooms

and she normally does

in fact, she bakes pastries or cooks something for them most of the time because she’s sweet like that

ran into a painting one time and got yelled at by the person in it

it was the sole most terrifying experience in her life

she almost fell down the stairs

now, she’s actually friends with the people in the painting

and they have (maybe) forgiven her for smacking into their tea table and ruining their lunch

(which they’ve been eating for years but jiwon did not mention that)

________________________

on the quidditch team

changes positions every single year for some reason (she’s such an ace)

because she has BIG TALENT

loves being a seeker the most (obviously, because she gets all the glory and she’s a leo with a scorpio mars)

has a black cat with the exact same personality as her

one time it ate her ramen and boy was she mad

but the cat, who was named orange (despite not being orange) really liked the noodles

so jiwon convinced sihyeon to let her make feline-friendly noodles for the cat

which sihyeon agreed to

because seeing orange slurp up a bowl of noodles really makes her day

________________________

is professor mcgonagall’s child

i mean not literally, but still

eunji has been taken under her wing

in fact, she actually taught mia how to be a metamorphmagus

eunji managed to turn into a badger

which wasn’t exactly enjoyable at first, since being a badger doesn’t have many benefits other than being able to dig a hole faster than anybody you know

however, eunji used her badger form as a way to relax, because she could escape from all her problems by turning into a woodland animal and going to take a comfy nap in some flowers

her friends were ecstatic when she told them she had become a badger

e:u immediately made her morph into said animal so she could give mia a hug because fluffy

________________________

accompanies jiwon to the kitchen most days and prevents her from getting bored with her antics

these “antics” involve things like crouching on the counter next to jiwon and crunching down on carrots

to which jiwon just shakes her head and pulls the carrot right out of her mouth

loves the toads! she has a speckled one and treasures it with all her heart

steals jiwon’s pastries to feed to them

serim is also always in different places

she’s completely unpredictable, moving all around the school throughout the day

you can’t find her in the same place twice (except for the kitchens)

everyone thinks she’s part fairy because of this and her compassion

________________________

spends all her time daydreaming while looking up at the sky from the observatory

i don’t blame her, it does have an exquisite view and even sports a bunch of cushions and blankets on the floor for the sole purpose of taking naps in the sun like a cat

anyways, yoorim is lost in her head most of the time

but always takes a trip back to reality during the day, where’s spotted encouraging her friends 24/7

and laughing nonstop at them

(especially sihyeon)

because while she’s a ravenclaw, loved ones are the most important things in her life

________________________

joins aisha in her imagining sprees up in the observatory

but gets bored and leaves to go sneak into the slytherin common rooms because she wants to spot the giant squid

who she has made friends with from her constant trips to see it

its name is jerry, for anyone who’s wondering

the slytherins have adopted her as one of their one

and yiren takes great pride in it

because she now has a massive posse of people ready to protect her from anyone who would dare to make her sad

________________________

keeps everyone in line because she finds everyone annoying

collapses on the sofa at the end of the day

probably snores

has the best self confidence of the whole school

i mean some of it is because she wants to be a good role model, but she really just doesn’t care at this point

her owl would rip any enemies to shreds

because it is pretty fearsome, even if it’s the smallest one professor mcgonagall has ever seen

and she’s seen a lot

probably a tutor ngl

________________________

the most passionate gryffindor you’ll ever meet

sakura definitely makes a name for herself cheering at all the quidditch games

and with the fact that she won the triwizard tournament!

keeps the cup in the gyrffindor common rooms

because she sees it as something the house should be proud of, not just sakura

so sweet i can not with her

actually didn’t bring a pet and now regrets it

but she’s busy so she wouldn’t have time to care ofr it

but still

🥺cats🥺

________________________

the seventh years surrounded her on her first day because of her “must protect” energy

and the fact that her toad escaped as soon as she came through the door

which resulted in school-wide panic

they found the toad luckily

well, it actually came running back to hyewon

for some reason, it actually bit her! which made her laugh

the devious amphibian apparently had a habit for escaping, which hyewon learned about after multiple attempts from it at running away

which never worked

because hyewon would get so sad and said toad would feel bad

thus meaning it would turn around and bound back to hyewon

________________________

immediately fell in love with hogwarts once she saw the great hall

one, because it was full of food

and two, because it’s so pretty! and the starts reflect on the ceiling! and magic!

tried to bond with the sorting hat

and it most likely worked because she is choi yena and can do things like that

a social butterfly without realizing it, everyone wants to talk to her all at the same time and she is b i g s t r e s s e d

helps with homework even if she has no idea what she’s doing

it aides her in picking up the subject because no that she’s having to explain it it clicks in her mind

strategy peeps

________________________

the sorting hat knew she was a hufflepuff the minute she walked through the door

her bright energy and happy-go-lucky charm made her a friend magnet, everyone wanted to be her bestie

dances to cheer people up

is friends with all the ravenclaws and joins them in their all-nighters when they’ve discovered a new obsession

wins every single lottery/game/anything that involves chance

her nicknames is felix felicis (i hope i’m spelling that right)

racks up all the house points because the professors can’t help but praise her for everything

and she deserves it to, always running around helping others

________________________

the seeker for hufflepuff

surprised the class and left everyone open-mouthed with her quidditch skills

had no idea she was so good, but after a while begins to take a lot of pride in her talent

the sorting hat considered slytherin for chaewon, but decided against it

which may seem like an odd combination, but it wasn’t uncommon

befriends all the slytherins and has them head over heels in love with her

same with the gryffindors

in fact, chaewon doesn’t know actually know many hufflepuffs, she’s always gotten along better with the other houses

________________________

joins vivi in at night whenever she’s in the astronomy tower

has an admirable amount of ravenclaw friends and has practically become one at this point

goes in the common room all the time because she can figure out the riddles

smh their security system really isn’t that good

becomes obsessed with random subjects

has a different best class every year

comes up with her own spells

hogsmeade weekends are her favorite :(

and minju stuffs herself with butterbeer every time

eunbi’s the only person who can keep her in check

________________________

i mean all hufflepuffs are cute-

but nako really takes the cake

because no one can look at her adorable smile and not think she’s the cutest human to ever exist

drew on the walls of the hufflepuff dorms because she accidentally drank a potion yuri had been brewing

which caused her to go loopy and delirious

eunbi was summoned and forced to tuck nako into bed so she could sleep it off

lights up the room whenever she walks in

everybody swears that the candles actually brighten whenever nako appears

________________________

loves the ravenclaw tower with all her heart :(

almost fainted when she first saw it because of how pretty it was

peak house spirit

ravenclaw only wins the house cup if hitomi has a good year

because she’s just so happy to be a ravenclaw and all the teachers are like yeh hitomi yeh and give her lots of points

became a prefect the first chance she got

doens’t get anyone in trouble though

but no one takes any chances because they don’t want to disappoint her

________________________

a master at potions

spends half her time concocting liquids to do a bunch of (benevolent) things

has suspicious stains on her robes

nobody questions it

because she’s a ravenclaw, which means she will feel extremely put off at any sort of accusatory remarks and you won’t be able to understand her answer because of her big brain words

jumps 10 feet in the air if you interrupt her magic

screams too

makes you swear to never tell anyone

but it’s happened to everyone so at this point it’s just common knowledge

________________________

a beater for gryffindor and goes beast mode whenever ravenclaw is playing

because for some reason they make her eye twitch

even if she’s friends with a bunch of them

she’s still just BIG GRR

spends all of her itme in the gryffindor common room

greets everyone when they come in

is on a first-name basis with the entire school and no one knows how she can remember them all

and she’s so sweet to people? how does she deal with it

whenever she comes in the room there’s a chorus of “ahn yujin, the woman, the myth, the legend!”

________________________

thought the common room actually had badgers in it

and was extremely disappointed when she found out they didn’t

haseul felt bad seeing wonyoung’s sadness and invited her on a badger hunt

they found two

and bonded with them by feeing them food

i don’t know what badgers eat so i won’t specify

but the badgers followed the two home and now the hufflepuff house has two pet badgers

wonyoung takes great pride in that accomplishment

even more than when she (effortlessly) won the triwizard tournament in her sixth year

________________________

super into astronomy and astrology

will stare at the stars all night

has seven telescopes and has no shame

seems quiet at first, but the ravenclaw dorms are always filled with the sound of her laughter (even at 3 in the morning)

daydreams in class all the time

and is confused over everything

but still makes it through with her sweet personality

fell off a broom the first time she ever got on one

because she was so busy watching the instructor that she didn’t realize her head was tilted so far to the side that it unbalanced her and caused her to slip off her broom

________________________

snako right here wanted to play quidditch her whole life

but sadly, she wasn’t too good at it

however, yves soon realized her true talent transfiguration

seriously, she can change anything into anything

zapped lippie into a mouse one time

professor mcgonagall was not happy

just kidding she was ecstatic and gave sooyoung a detention to teach her how to perfect her skills on turning people into mice

just not jungeun

holds a grudge against the gryffindor quidditch team but won’t ever admit it

but everybody knows

but it’s okay, because sooyoung can get away with anything (and no one wants to be turned into a mouse)

________________________

famous for winning the triwizard tournament

because first of all, she didn’t even want to apply, yves and heejin had forced her to as a joke because there was no way she was going to be picked

but low and behold, she was picked

and somehow managed to win every task with pure luck

(and an ungodly amount of encouragement from chuu)

this has made everyone scared of her

which she doesn’t mind a lot of times, because it’s nice to be left alone

and she can easily filter out peole she doesn’t want in her life

but still

to people who aren’t aware of her winnings

she’s about as terrifying as a duck eating lettuce

________________________

overworked as the head of house but deals with it because she loves taking care of her fellow puffies

i miss her so much

was on the quidditch team at some point

she can’t remember when

third year maybe

her first four years went by in a blur

she was so enveloped in her studies and loved learning about magic with all her heart

100% got a job at the ministry once she finished her seventh year

there was zero question when choosing the head of house for hufflepuff

everyone immediately nominated haseul

________________________

The Scary Ravenclaw TM

no one messes with her or her posse

a beast at magic has legit something like an 8.0 GPA

everyone’s like jungeun that is hecking impossible

not for her apparently

whipped for all the hufflepuffers and is known to trudge into their common room whenever she’s grumpy

because she knows at least sixteen people will volunteer to hug her

(preferably chuu is in that group)

denies it though

like heck no i hate hugs what are you talking about

________________________

the definition of a hufflepuff

was the talk of the school the first day because of how big of an impact her positivity and cheerfulness made

she turns heads and doesn’t even notice it😔

didn’t bring a pet, surprisingly

but steals everyone else’s

no one bothers to reprimand her whenever their cat disappears and is found cuddled up next to chuu

because honestly if i was a cat that’s what i would do

her patronus is probably something like a pufferfish

which she thought was the best thing ever

because “it goes poof whenever i stop the spell!”

________________________

A CHASER FOR GRYFFINDOR AND EVERYONE AND THEIR DOG IS WHIPPED FOR HOW WELL SHE PLAYS QUIDDITCH

acts like she struggles with school but is actually top of her class

spends a bunch of time with her professors because she loves talking to them

such a libra smh

brought a toad

was so embarrassed at first but is now shameless

about the fact that yes, she does kiss her toad on the forehead before she leaves for school each morning

even if most of the time she keeps the toad in her pocket all day because she doesn’t want to leave it alone

________________________

head owl caretaker

spends all of her time with hagrid :(

there are multiple stains on the floor from when they’re drinking tea together and hyunjin does something that makes them both spit out their drinks in laughter

fang cleans it up though

the animals are her favorite thing

created a spell to remove fur/hair from her clothes because she gets bad allergies

steals whole loaves of bread from the kitchens

the cooks turn a blind eye

________________________

has eaten all the crackers in the kitchen in one go

no one was really mad (except for jiwon) because how could you be upset with her?

her crunchy voice is adorable, even if she’s lying and blaming it all on yeojin

does her own thing most of the time

one of those people who will memorize 1800 spells but tell no one

and then shows everything off at the perfect moment

loves watching quidditch

will go to the practices just to see people play, she’s that enamored

a HUGE fan of the chudley cannons

________________________

friends with all the hufflepuffs

stole their badgers one time because she wanted to test the theory of “hufflepuffs are good finders”

they would have found their pets

but were too scared to accuse choerry

even if they knew it was her

choerry felt bad and sneakily returned the truffle-hunters during the night

she heard chuu disgruntledly ranting to haseul about how rude it was to steal some poor defenseless badgers

she turned them invisible shortly after that for another prank

but gowon exposed her

yerim’s never forgiven her for it

________________________

the sweetest slytherin you’ll ever meet

loves to sit in the common room and stare at the water in the lake

but always gets scared by people walking in

even though she’s used to it because it happens every 10 minutes

but it’s still

ahh!

wanted to be on the quidditch team so bad when she was younger but now does not see the point she would much rather sit in the charms room and make up dumb spells with chuu

professor flitwick helps them

and always has cupcakes on handy

________________________

the mind of a slytherin and is the head prankster

no one suspects her because she looks and acts to sweet to do anything

but despite their “fair play” thing going on

hufflepuffs are the best jokers you’ll find

yeojin has started a pranking service

makes a bunch of money off it

enough to buy all 11 of her besties bags of candy at hogsmeade

(along with getting herself one because she deserves it)

oh!

and some for hufflepuff’s badgers too!

________________________

i put her in gryffindor at first because aries

but she really has the personality of a ravenclaw :)

and she definitely brought an eagle/hawk to school

convinced everyone it was an owl

i mean no one really thought it was an owl because it obviously was a different kind of bird

but

how the heck do you take away someone’s bird and prevent it from going back to them?

and where do you put it?

that was karina’s plan

she knew no one could outsmart her

the riddle thingo at the entrance to the ravenclaw dorms was very proud of her

they’re friends

________________________

the sorting hat spent five hours deciding on whether to put giselle in slytherin or hufflepuff

i’m exaggerating but you get the picture

because she values all of the things that the houses represent?!

but hufflepuff was still the best fit

loves to wander around the halls and staircases so she can discover the infinite amount of corridors and rooms inside hogwarts

she’ll never find them all

which is a little dissatisfying

but it’s still fun!

and ningning accompanies her a lot of the time, which can be incredibly distracting because neither of them end up going the direction they want to because they see something cool and go !!??

________________________

a chaser for gryffindor

although no one knows about it?

winter just never mentions it so whenever she plays there’s an uproar because that’s minjeong out there!

she loves the compliments from the outcome/ending of her accomplishments rather than the encouragement along the way

an ace at sneaking around the school

has gotten into all of the houses’ dorms

no one found out

although the fat friar did see her and lecture her on privacy

she sort of listened

by which i mean she stayed out of the hufflepuff dorms and instead wen to the ravenclaw ones

________________________

the pride of hufflepuff for her quidditch skills

she’s so good at it

no one really expected this from her, but her determination blasted away any competition

and the team needs her badly

for her quidditch skills

and her constant encouragement and cheering

giselle ended up giving her a microphone to wear during games so the whole school could hear how amazing and sweet the hufflepuff house is

smiles at everyone she walks past and the entire population of hogwarts knows her name

________________________

mcgonagall’s favorite

a role model for everyone, chungha has a posse of first years surrounding her at all times

her becoming head of house was no surprise, everyone expected her to and no one was jealous or envied her position since she did such a good job of leading gryffindor

used to be on the quidditch team as a blugder

which no one expected from sweet chungha

she was average, not a prodigy but not bad either

ended up quitting in sixth year to focus more on her studies, namely charms

________________________

in about 18 clubs

started 15 of them

for some reason she just loves the thrill of being part of a group more than others

and really enjoys having people around her

excellent at charms! it’s her best subject and professor flitwick uses her as an example all the time

she loves it

probably had to give her animal away to someone else (big sad) because she’s so busy

it was hyunjin who took it

now they’re really good friends and somi can see her cat whenever she wants to

________________________

133 notes · View notes

attackontitanreblogs · 3 years

Text

[Spoiler] [Spoiler] [Spoiler] Hey, am I a only one who

like these 9 extra pages of ending and think they fix the ending?

I mean, I have several issues with ending (chapter 139) anyway, which include:

*Mikasa weren’t free and doesn’t have life aside Eren, which was implied too heavily;

*Eren didn’t even knowing why he was doing what he did anyway, which very badly executed his character (we hoped he had the best development ever, but it isn’t even true) and he was sooo simp. Also didn’t care much about any other person than Mikasa or Armin (Hange or Sasha died because of him);

*Eren being highly immature with his wantings and screaming he wanted Mikasa to mourn over him all the time, even if in the manga weren’t much implications on his feelings about Mikasa;

*the whole EM was shitty developed and I hoped Mikasa can get free of Eren and her obsession finally. Maybe it can be associated with my personal experience, but I also had unhealthy obsession about someone and I got finally over it, I won and I am not obsessing about anyone and have my very own desires which aren’t associated with anyone. I just hoped Mikasa can get over her obsession too and be healthy independent person with her own desires. On the Eren side I think as manga developed, the aro/ace Eren, Eremin or even EreHisu implication as true would be more logical and healthy than Eremika;

*happy ending for any character who lived after Hanji (aside Eren, Zeke and Ymir if we count), which is soooo improbably as Isayama liked to kill the characters before and there was no telling somebody will survive the chapter. It was too sweet for me, as Isayama couldn’t decide for a darker one ending;

*also I hoped Historia and her child would be more revelant to the chapter and the symbolism. I hoped Eren would be the father and will try to create the world which won’t burden his children or other children anymore with success or no success at all;

*it felt so much retconned anyway.

These 8 extra pages fixed (somehow) some of these things and gave the others new meaning:

*there was implication Mikasa has new life and new family, which proved she moved from Eren somehow. She was shown visiting Eren’s grave, but at least I doubt she focused on it as much as she would be being lonely and without any family. The only thing which would bother me was the scarf, but also remember when and why she received it. Eren saved her life. So the scarf could symbolise two things - Eren and the life, which she got because of the Eren. Since she didn’t decide to take her own life and join Eren immediately in afterlife or perish forever, more, she invested in her own life and bore lives with the new family we can hope she developed some distance from the Eren and he finally isn’t the only reason she still exists. From these and from her opposition of rumbling we can know she values life and she values it even more than person of Eren. She sacrificed him, because she values life, but also values her own life, which was saved by Eren. Maybe it’s why she valued so much Eren in the first place?? Maybe it’s why she kept the scarf, because it reminds her, beside of Eren, the life she got saved?

Maybe it still wasn’t best executed and could be better executed, but these pages got me better message about ending and Mikasa’s character - she lives her own life, but still remember the savior she loved - Eren. And it still gives us the room to hope she developed safe distance from Eren on whom she obsessed so much.

Also I read people’s opinion on her having husband on her own, which are “he is the second to Eren”, “she doesn’t care about her own husband but only Eren is on her mind”, “she needed her husband only to make her children and he was only a tool”, etc. These are not essentially to be true. If she was a good person I doubt she could value more dead person over a living person tbh. She knew Eren was doing very bad and finally decided to sacrifice him to save the remaining innocent lives. So well, if she was dedicated to her husband and kids I doubt she didn’t love them and valued their lives any less than Eren (why she could stick to somebody she didn’t love in the first place? unless she was in really bad mental state and toyed with somebody other and didn’t care about them, but I doubt we should get that kind of message and I doubt Isayama intended her to be like that.)

So, as bland and personality-less she is, it looks like she still got better executed than Eren.

Also, her spouse being Jean or not: he looks like Jean, but it isn’t said it is Jean. Historia ended with random guy, remember? Even if it is Jean, I doubt she cared about him (other precious friend than Armin and Sasha) any less than for dead Eren.

At least I hope it is like that and it is possible, because I doubt Isayama could make her THAAAT miserable.

*Another point I want to make is that Paradise doesn’t have that sweet future, which is logical, possible and it is also a consequence of Eren’s doing. Paradis didn’t have titans, Founder and Colossal Titans in the walls, which would protect island. Which means, Eren doomed them forever. Eren didn’t surpased his father, he did even worse than his father, because he basically doomed entire generations down and didn’t solve anything, which is still logical consequence of what he did and it’s overall darker than the whole 139 chapter. It subverses whole surpassing the father trope, which is logical result and I like it.

*we got the time skipping (time travelling) with a tree and Paradis developing and destroyed at the end, which I like, because it in the whole reminds me the time travelling in the Time Machine 1960 movie. Maybe it’s personal and I’m becoming sentimental ahahhahah

*it is implied Eren isn’t free even in afterlife and have possibly taken Ymir’s place. It would be good, because it would be his sins’ atonement. This or the whole tree’s growing would be hallu’s (this weird spine thing) doing and Eren could have nothing to do with it.

What extra pages don’t solve:

*plot holes;

*Eren being shit (but at least got consequences);

*Historia being unrevelant to the plot;

*Hanji being dead and not being with Levi (:D).

Also the AU thing is sweet touch and comments aot’s own ending, which is nice, also remembers me Eren which I loved.

So, these are my thoughts on ending :)

20 notes · View notes

thegreenwolf · 3 years

Photo

Betting on the Ponies (originally posted at my blog at https://thegreenwolf.com/betting-on-the-ponies/)

(Above: Breyer Classic Arabian Stallion made over into a winged unicorn with real wings from a barnyard mix rooster I raised for meat.)

If you’ve been paying attention to my social media or my shop links at all, you may have noticed that I haven’t really been posting much in the way of new hide and bone art for the past year or so. It’s not that I’ve stopped; I still make some fun things for my Patrons on Patreon every month, and I make some bone, tooth and claw jewelry on Etsy to order. But ever since events dried up, I haven’t been regularly making new batches of costume pieces or other Vulture Culture art. My usual M.O. was to make all sorts of new things for an upcoming event, and then once the weekend was done and I was home, post whatever hadn’t sold on Etsy. And since there haven’t been events…well…I’ve just found myself doing other things.

Some of that is because I’ve had to scramble to make up for the lost income; events were a pretty big chunk of my “pay”, and losing them meant having to tighten the belt. I also lost several other income streams thanks to the pandemic making it unsafe to be around groups of people, which didn’t help. So I had to rely on what was left, along with adopting a few new sources of bits and bobs of cash here and there.

And, honestly, I’ve needed a bit of a break. I’ve been making hide and bone art for over two decades now, and while I love it, any artist eventually wants to explore different media for a while. Sure, I’ve stretched my Vulture wings in new directions, going from costume pieces and ritual tools to assemblages and the Tarot of Bones. But ever since the Tarot came out, I’ve been feeling….not really burned out, but a little creatively wrung out, at least. I’ve really appreciated my Patrons and Etsy customers who have helped me keep a hand in that particular medium, while also allowing me to head off in other directions, too.

Which is to say that if you have been paying attention to the aforementioned social media and shops, you may have also noticed that I’ve been increasing the number of customized Breyer model horses and other animals I’ve made over the past couple of years. This might seem like a heck of a departure from skulls, bones, and other dead things. But in a way it’s really me getting back to long-neglected roots.

(One of my favorite customs I’ve done on one of my favorite molds, the Breyer semi-rearing mustang. )

See, I was a horse girl when I was a kid. Or, rather, I was a wannabe horse girl. I never got to lease or own a horse, and even now in my early 40s I’m still about the greenest rider you’ll find. (Seriously, I need one of those kid-proof horses that’s seen it all, done it all, and is probably more trail-smart than I am.) But I was obsessed with horses from a young age. It started with my very first My Little Pony that I got Christmas morning, 1983 (Applejack, if you must know), and then exploded further with a book on how to draw horses and my first Breyer model (Black Beauty 1991 on the Morganglanz mold) in my preteens. Horse actually took over for Gray Wolf for a few years as my primary animal spirit during my teens, so we have a very long history indeed.

And since I couldn’t have a real horse, I ended up collecting model horses, mostly Breyers with a few old Hartlands for variety. I had over 100 at the peak of my collecting, but I had to sell them all in my early twenties when I was between jobs. In hindsight it was probably for the best because having less stuff made it easier to get through the period of my life where I was moving about once a year, but I do miss that collection.

Back then I did my part to add to the artistic end of the model horse hobby, mostly with badly blended acrylic paint jobs and terrifying mohair manes and tails. But it made me happy, and that was the most important thing. Even though I only knew a couple other collectors in my little rural area, and my only real connection to the hobby was through the quarterly Just About Horses magazine Breyer put out, my collecting really made me happy in the same way that my first fur scraps and bones would catch my interest a few years later.

2020….well, it sucked. We all know that. Pandemic, political stress, financial roller coasters and more made it a really tough year for anyone who wasn’t wealthy enough to hide away and weather it all. And many of us found ourselves with more time at home, in need of distractions and solace. It ended up being a time where many people rediscovered their love of childhood hobbies. I’m one of those people. I’ve been slowly edging my way back in for the past few years, starting with repainting a few old Breyer models found at thrift stores, and then gaining momentum as I found that not only was I much better at customizing these models than I used to be, but I was having fun without the pressure to make a living off of it. (Yes, I love my hide and bone art, but when an art form is your bread and butter, it changes your relationship to it. But that’s a post for another time…)

So 2020 saw me really ramp up my customization efforts. I had to stop for a few months in summer and fall when I moved to a spifftacular new living space on the farm I’ve been working on the past few years (with, by the way, THE best studio space EVER!) but as the days shortened I found myself making more dedicated time to repainting and otherwise customizing models. I even started keeping a few of the models I’d bought to customize that were in better condition to create a small, but slowly growing original finish collection, and that really helped me feel like I was back in the (not actually a) saddle.*

That’s why a well-established artist of organic, pagan-influenced arts made from fur and leather and bone and feather suddenly started painting all these secondhand plastic ponies. It’s giving me that deep injection of childhood nostalgia balanced with adult skill and perspective, and it’s offered me a much-needed break from the exhausting schedule I’ve been living the past decade or so. Because suddenly, even with the time spent rearranging my income opportunities to make sure I could stay afloat, I found myself with a little time that hadn’t been scheduled to death, and when I thought about what I wanted to do with that time, I gravitated toward one of the few creative outlets in my life that was purely for fun.**

(Yes, this IS fan art of “The Last Unicorn”! I used a Breyer Stablemate rearing Arabian for the unicorn, and a Breyer Spanish fighting bull for the Red Bull. A LOT of fun to make this particular project.)

In a way having all my events canceled was one of the best things that happened to me, because it made me slow the fuck down. I no longer had several weekends a year where I had to spend weeks beforehand making art and otherwise preparing to be away from all my farm responsibilities for 4-7 days at a time, with all the packing and moving and setup and vending and teaching and teardown and going home and unpacking and exhaustion that goes with each event. I realized just how much each one was taking out of me, especially as I’ve gotten older. And I also recognized how much pressure I had been putting on myself to ALWAYS MAKE MORE STUFF FOR ETSY EVERY WEEK OR ELSE.

So the model horses are really sort of a symbol of the childhood joy I’ve managed to recapture, wresting time and energy back from my workaholic tendencies. I’ve even been thinking about what my professional life is going to look like once the pandemic eases up enough to allow events again, and whether I’ll put the same amount of time toward vending and and teaching at conventions and festivals as I used to. (There are a few favorites that I’m not going to miss for anything, so don’t worry about me dropping out entirely.) But for the first time in a very long time, I’m relearning to prioritize myself, and figuring out that maybe I don’t have to go hell-bent for leather every week, every year, in order to keep the bills paid and the critters fed.

And maybe, just maybe, it’s okay for this dead-critter-artist, pagan-nonfic-author, teacher-vendor-farmer, to indulge herself with something fun, and bet on the ponies to help her get through the tough times.

(P.S. Amid everything going on, I am back to working steadily on my next book, which I mentioned in this blog post almost a year ago. As a recap, its working title is Coyote’s Journey: Deeper Work With the Major Arcana, and it’s a deep dive into that section of the tarot using pathworkings with the animals I assigned to the major arcana of the Tarot of Bones. It’s not just a Tarot of Bones book, though; it’s a good way to get a new, nature-based angle on the majors in general, as well as hopefully gain a better understanding of yourself. My goal is to have it out later this year, self-pub of course, and at the rate I’m going it may end up being my longest book! Stay tuned, and if you want to get excerpts of the work-in-progress, become my Patron for as little as $1/month!)

*At the height of my “horse girl” phase, I had a really beat-up pony saddle I’d bought for ten bucks at a yard sale, and got a cheap saddle stand for it and put it in my room. And yes, I occasionally sat on it and pretended I was riding an actual horse. Hey, it made me happy at the time, and it was the closest I was ever going to get apart from a trail ride every few years.

**Yes, I do sell my customs. But I don’t make them on a schedule, I take commissions VERY sparingly, and I’m getting to stretch some new creative muscles, especially in the realms of sculpting and painting, so this is primarily for my enjoyment. The sales are just a side benefit.

(My ode to the forests of the Pacific Northwest, a Breyer deer repainted to resemble the Columbian black-tailed deer that frequent the farm I live on, along with hand-sculpted Amanita muscaria mushrooms, real and fake moss, and real lichens from fallen branches.)

#Breyer #model horses #vulture culture #artwork #artist

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grave-avis · 3 years

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Okay so, anyone who ever so slightly knows me knows I like birds. Like, really like birds. Like I’m organizing my life plan to hopefully be able to dedicate my life to ornithology levels of liking birds. One of my hobbies is birdwatching/ bird feeding and it’s really really fun! So I decided to make a little post about some of my FOs and birdwatching.

Note: if you’re going to be rude about my hobby please leave, I’ve been bullied for liking bird watching before and I just don’t want to deal with that before school starts. Yes it’s an old person hobby, but I enjoy it :)

With Jester I feel like she’d be very enthusiastic to join me, happily sitting next to me to doodle the birds we see. After a bit I’d notice that I’m seeing fewer birds than usual and realize that she’s talking very loudly and making a lot of sudden movements and it’s scaring away all the birds. After a brief conversation about it I decide to take her to visit my less timid bird friends: I’ll introduce her to all the geese I’ve gained the trust of and tell her all their names and help her feed them out of her hand and I’ll take her to visit all my crows and seagulls. I think she’d really like seeing all my friends and would appreciate the beauty of them, she wouldn’t find my enthusiasm about them obnoxious because she’s able to match my energy.

Yasha and I have travelled separately from the nein together in the past, and she’s kind of joined me accidentally. Sometimes I accompany her to pick flowers and I’ll spot a family of sparrows and point them out to her. She’s not very talkative but she doesn’t mind sitting with me and watching them, usually taking the time to write in her notebook as they warble and play. She finds them fascinating and she appreciates cute animals much more than you’d expect from an intimidating woman like her. Sometimes she brings me feathers she finds on the ground, she understands collecting things from nature. When we’re with the nein Beau will sometimes join us just to see what we’re up to. She likes to tease me about it but she’s chill, she gets very into my hypotheticals about what birds would beat each other in a fight.

Caduceus is a member of the nein who I can see genuinely enjoying birdwatching, and he probably adopted the hobby long before we met. He enjoys my enthusiasm and although he doesn’t know much about birds on an ornithology level, he appreciates my info dumps. When my insomnia acts up and he’s up late as well, sometimes we’ll sneak off together and try to find owls. He finds them a bit annoying because of how loud they are but they’re some of my favourites and it’s fun to watch them hunt.

Fjord and Caleb are a bit indifferent to them, Caleb appreciates my bird facts and knowledge (He especially likes my information on vultures and how acidic they are) and was kind enough to buy me a bird guide from a bookstore after noticing a lot of my guides don’t cover the regions we travel to. If I ever invite him out with me he doesn’t pay much attention to them but takes the opportunity to read and study, I don’t mind. The most birdwatching I’ll get out of Fjord is pointing out the seagulls around the ship, he finds them annoying as hell but even he admits seagulls can be fucking hilarious.

Nott and Molly are a bit too chaotic to take out birdwatching, I am worried that either they will accidentally harm the birds (or well,,, intentionally in Nott’s case) or they will accidentally piss off a bird and get mauled. Although one time they wrestled a living seagull back to camp after misunderstanding me talking about how I didn’t have many seagull FEATHERS in my collection.

Percy sometimes comes down to the ocean with me, he’s well acquainted with my geese and seagull friends and even the one crow that lives down there. He mostly likes to feed them with me and laugh about their mannerisms. He’s one of the people who kind of makes me remember how fun this hobby is. It can be very boring when you’re alone or take it too seriously but it’s hard to take much of anything serious when Percy is goofing off and cracking jokes with you. Sometimes when I meet up with him he’ll tell me about the birds he’s seen around because he knows I’ll appreciate it.

What’s the point of birdwatching with Alex around? She gets enthusiastic when I ask her to turn into different types of bird and enjoys the challenge, she never wastes an opportunity to show off her shapeshifting talent. Of course if I ask her to, she’ll happily chase the ravens through the hotel’s halls, trying to get a better look at them. Sometimes they pity us and perch for a few seconds so we can get a better look. When we meet up to work on art together she teases me about the amount of birds I incorporate into my art but I know she doesn’t mean it. Sometimes we’ll even collaborate and she’ll ask me to paint ravens and other animals onto her pottery. One morning I woke up to a small statue of an owl in front of my door, she never mentioned it to me but I recognized her stamp at the bottom of the statue.

Halfborn also isn’t that into birdwatching but he’ll be sure to tell me when birds are mentioned in littérature and loves to discuss poetry with me and will show me any bird themed ones. He appreciates the symbolism behind them more than anything. Sometimes when we can’t sleep we’ll spend the night in each other’s room and tell stories of when we were alive, although he’s a bit tired of me harassing him for any stories about the seagulls in his old fishing village.

Aragorn and Legolas are both fairly into my bird obsession but most of all they like it when I explain falconry to them, they enjoy seeing my owl around the camp and find any facts about her interesting. They find nature and all its creatures simply delightful. Gimli’s a bit indifferent to it but sometimes he’ll point out any birds he sees to keep me entertained on the road (I don’t think he likes birds that much :/).

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latulasbian-1 · 4 years

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what are your thoughts on kankri? personally i never understood the appeal and im interested to hear your take since he Was on the b tier of your list

OK! Sorry for lateness but I only noticed your question at like 2:00 AM and needed a full tank of brain-gas to be able to convey my thoughts even semi-coherently.

So Kankri’s a weird one, probably one of the most convoluted and self-contradictory characters in Homestuck. Its fitting given he’s pretty much a one note joke and hussie’s one-note joke characters actually wind up being either his most oddly complex (see: equius and feferi for instance) or most sympathetic (see: Nepeta). Kankri’s a bit of both imo, though I wouldn’t call him a favorite for me.

Kankri’s characterization is built almost entirely on one fuckin’ note: “LOL AIN’T TUMBLR SJWs FUNNY AND ANNOYING!?!?!?”. If you disagree with this then I don’t even know what to tell you, bc everything from his style of long-winded monologues (that wind up running up on Hussie Ableism Moments bc in-narrative his infodumping is supposed to be annoying???) to his inability to take social cues to his supposed-to-be-interpreted-as-excessive use of trigger warnings to his unapologetic killjoy attitude to his supposed hypocrisy/”privilege” are literally all just a fucking layer cake of anti-SJW stereotypes. This is where the issue of how the fandom interprets Kankri kicks in, as people’s opinions on him (aside from a few diehards) tend to scale from “DAWWW CUTE WIDDLE UPPITY BEANBOY” to “fucking annoying neoliberal”. For the matter, neither of these are intended by Hussie, while he did design him to be cute he wasn’t meant to be hateable for leftist homestuck fans as a (neo-)liberal or faux leftist. Hussie just designed him after everyone hussie found annoying in the social justice community primarily on tumblr. Even his political monologues, though not WITHOUT hypocrisy and bullshit, tend to actually skew towards “pretty fucking reasonable hussie just thinks people being upset by bad stuff is stupid”.

Now, people cite Kankri being ableist in his criticism of certain other dancestors for ~conforming to stereotypes~, which yes from an in context scenario is pretty fucking bad. If someone IRL is dealing with their disability in a way you think seems pretty stereotypical keep that thought to yourself. HOWEVER, AS ONE OF THE MOST CRUCIAL POINTS TOWARDS KANKRI BEING GENERALLY SYMPATHETIC, WE GET THE META ELEMENT. Hussie, in writing a hypocritical mansplainer who goes on and on and on about everything thats politically incorrect about the people around him, practically beat-for-beat replicates talking points PEOPLE HAVE USED TO CRITICIZE HOMESTUCK ITSELF. YES! MITUNA’S PRESENTATION AS A CHARACTER IS 100% UNAMBIGUOUSLY AWFUL IN ITS PORTRAYAL OF PEOPLE WITH BRAIN INJURIES AND MENTAL DISORDERS. DAMARA IS A RACIST STEREOTYPE SO BAD HUSSIE SHOULD GET THROWN IN JAIL. INCEST IS BAD. If ANYONE in homestuck should’ve pulled the meta knowledge shit in post-canon, kankri would’ve been a WAYYYYYY better candidate than dirk for it, especially since kankri seems halfway to realizing he’s fictional just by political analysis of the story he’s in! Kankri seems to exist at the apex of Hussie’s confusion about fandom, given he’s baffled enough by people being obsessed with his work yet so intensely negative that he can only seem to think of them as obsessive manchild wierdos with no sense of rational thought. As someone who myself unironically loves Homestuck and yet have an entire third of my brain dedicated to ripping it apart on an ethical level, I can see some of myself in that turtleneck’d contrarian. Just because someone is a fan of something doesn’t mean they will or should unthinkingly defend it from all recourse. This is something homestuck as a whole struggles with, I think back to the aspect or extended zodiac quiz where one of the questions amounted to “someone is talking shit about a show you like, how do you respond” and there wasn’t even an answer for “actually listen to what they’re trying to say and consider if they could be right”. Kankri is a symbol of sorts for those critical enjoy-ers, in a way. A stupid silly not-that-meaningful way, but a way. I think people should reclaim him.

I’ve touched on it a bit before, but the last main sympathizing aspect of kankri for me (aside from personality things like his frankly unearned patience with a friend group that entirely fucking hates his guts) is a trait share by almost all the dancestors: Hussie’s fucking disturbing use of mental illness & psychiatric disorders with them. Between Kankri’s unwillingness to observe common social cues, his overtly poised and practiced manner of speaking, his obsession with using trigger warnings to warn off confrontation in leu of not just speaking his mind with everything, his tendency to cling to certain articles of clothing for long periods of time, his implied difficulty taking care of himself physically, and the fucking insulting “mom-friend useless-manchild-who-needs-nannying” dynamic he has with Porrim, he comes off (intentionally or no) as a beat-for-beat embodiment of an autistic person as seen through Hussie’s tropey and horribly ableist worldview. This is a common trait he shares with both Aranea and Mituna, as well as many of the other dancestors to lesser degrees (many of them, like Mituna, also have OTHER mental disorders flat-out-stated in such a way that makes their depiction just fucking confused and bad). For me, and for at least SOME other people, it makes unbiased critical reactions to them damn near impossible. They deserve better than how hussie can write them. In a lot of ways I have friends like Kankri, and Hussie’d almost fucking certainly find them just as embarrassing and annoying as he meant for Kankri to be.

So yeah, Kankri isn’t my favorite by any means but i don’t feel like i can or should condemn him. He’s fun. I’d watch his video essays.

And this isn’t even BEGINNING to touch on how much I loathe Porrim as an example of “good cool fun feminists that hussie can sexualize!” And her more open bisexuality than other trolls being both a tool for fetishization by Hussie and a fucking skin-crawling thing to use as a contrast for Kanaya’s status as either “the only confirmed lesbian in homestuck (until postcanon showed rose was a lesbian too)” or “the only lesbian troll in existence ever bc thats totally how sexuality would work with aliens” (sorry if you ascribe to the “all trolls are bisexual bc they’re supposedly binormative as a get-out-of-jail-free card for hussie’s hetero-ass ship tease shit” then. well get better soon)

(seriously though everyone who pulls the “kanaya is the only lesbian alternian” shit owes every lesbian 100 dollars)

#homestuck #kankri #longpost #discourse #Anonymous

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abaikgirl · 3 years

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Ok, so because of time and pacing, I was not able to fully get into the NightMight wedding that happened at the end of my Villain Deku fic, so here we go.

First of all, because Nighteye is dedicated to the Aesthetic™ of him being the Japanese half to All Might’s American persona, Nighteye wore a traditional kimono and All Might wore a suit. They originally planned for it to be a small wedding with just friends and family, but as expected, half the country showed up. This would mean that it would go from Toshi and Mirai just planning a very Small and Simple wedding to having to call Noriko in as reinforcements to take over planning the party of the century.

I think it would be so big the news would show up unannounced to broadcast the whole thing, much to All Might’s chagrin. Nighteye embraces it because he wants the entire world to know that All Might is his forever.

This would be a summer wedding, because Nighteye is a hopeless romantic and would insist they have the cliche June wedding. The colors would be All Might colors (of course); yellow, red, and blue. And the flowers would probably be roses because again, cliche June wedding.

Mirio absolutely would be Nighteye’s best man and probably cried the entire time because he’s just so happy that after years of turmoil between the two of them, they finally got married.

(If this were the canon timeline, Deku would FOR SURE be All Might’s best man, but this is the AU where he went evil so...) Bakugo would probably be All Might’s best man. I personally think All Might asked Aizawa first, but he and Shizuka were up to their ears in a case and wouldn’t be able to attend, and Aizawa really hates large social gatherings anyways so he would gladly pass that baton right over to Bakugou.

Pretty much everyone at UA would show up, invited or not. Not to mention all the pros in the city.

And then there’s Nighteye’s family. As I mentioned in Sasaki Family New Years, Kazane’s husband is super homophobic and Nighteye’s mom is also very much a judgemental bitch, but the whole clan would be front and center to watch the baby of the family get married to All Might, the Symbol of Peace and new head of the Hero Commission because you know, bragging rights.

The Todorokis would absolutely be invited and All Might would insist they sit where his family would be, since he doesn’t really have anyone else besides Gran Torino. There would be discussion of putting it off until Shoto was released from prison, but honestly these two dorks have put it off for so long that the whole family would veto the decision and insist they just get married already.

Nighteye’s sisters Hina and Kazane would both tell hilarious and embarrassing stories of Nighteye obsession with All Might that would have him sinking in his chair. Gran Torino would follow it up with several embarrassing stories of his own about All Might and that would lead to them getting cut off mid story.

It would just generally be a huge sigh of relief and a celebration. After all the bad things that had happened in the past year, I think the whole city would be overjoyed that something good was going on for once, and Nighteye and All Might would probably be receiving cards and gifts from random strangers and well wishers for months after the fact.

I am kind of torn on the subject of honeymoon. Because All Might is an eccentric kind of guy, I could see him suggesting that they go somewhere tropical like Hawaii or the Bahamas, but I could also see them enjoying a quiet few weeks in Kyoto.

#nightmight #villain deku #sir nighteye #all might #i had to get this out of my system

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farharbour · 4 years

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talk about kaz!! we would like to hear 🥺

i love you. thank you for enabling me. i will now say five things i like the most abt his character:

1) first off i would die over the symbolism of his name. like. it’s just so good even though it’s like super cliché to have a character with a name meaning “peace” be a war guy. but it’s like. deeper than that also u know...

his whole existence is a byproduct of war given he was born in 1946, post-war japan. his background is i think an interesting commentary on growing up in that time period while having an absent father who is a part of the american military that brought destruction to his mother’s country. and his mother still chose to name him peace.

he goes hard for pmcs during pw and at one point and because of the whole msf thing he steeps his whole person in a drive for revenge and for violence, but even then later in life he dedicates himself to fighting against big boss’ dream of a world in constant war. like. at that point he’s fighting war for some semblance of peace i guess, albeit in a really roundabout way. parallels to david snake too, there. maybe kinda shows you how much influence he had on him. you love to see it!

2) on a related note the whole “i may act like i’m cold and heartless and angry with everything in the world but the truth is i genuinely care about this thing i’ve helped build so much that i’m scared to think about loosing everything again, and i want to get revenge on cipher not only because of the hurt i carry and the want for revenge for those whose lives were lost but also because of the guilt i feel about letting cipher onto mother base in the first place to inevitably destroy everything i cared about and the fear it could happen again” thing that was going on in tpp really gets me

i love kaz’s entire character arc in tpp tbh and the ways he’s changed and the ways he continues to change, both good and bad. and the thing i hate most about his character is the fact that his arc was never really brought to a satisfying conclusion and i wish we could have seen how things played out for him. i will also always be curious about the whole “he goes back to foxhound potentially knowing that bb was commanding the unit again” thing especially considering what was said in the after credits dialogue with ocelot

3) and speaking of bb i am obsessed with their relationship. love how it’s heavily implied on like 10 different occasions that kaz is bi and has romantic feelings for him (even if u ignore the whole date with kaz side mission in pw because it’s “not canon” or whatever) and i love how there’s like... there’s trust between them but there’s also very little trust there, too

kaz lied to him about his ties with cipher and i don’t think bb ever forgave him for that. and then bb went and did what he did back to him, after kaz had already lost everything and felt incredible amounts of guilt that was both deserved and undeserved. it’s kind of reminiscent of that thing that bb said at one point about war showing you who your real allies and enemies are, and how those lines aren’t always drawn by what you’re told or who you’re fighting against on the battlefield. like. you can find an enemy in your biggest ally and that’s exactly what ended up happening

and yeah the whole foxhound thing just. really gets me. i think a lot about how that had to go and the hurt he further dealt with during n313 and wrt zanzibar

4) also ok talking about foxhound-era kaz... i’m loathe to pick a favourite kaz our of the three major eras we see him in but old man kaz might just be my favourite and i really could not tell you why exactly. i guess it’s because it’s the only era where he gets to interact with snavid and i love them both so much so that’s a lot of fun

i think that their relationship is done really well but you’ve also kinda gotta read between the lines to get at the intricacies of it. like you’ve got kaz who it’s implied has only become david’s master to make him strong enough to help him get his revenge on big boss, but then by the time mgs1 hits david basically says he trusts him on the battlefield more than anyone. there had to be time between mg1 and mg2 or mg2 and mgs1 where that relationship changed from what it was to something more based on mutual respect, while also obviously still maintaining that master/student dynamic

i think about that mg2 carrie radio call sometimes (even though it was cut) where she asks snake to play with her “next time,” implying that there was a first time and that he and miller have hung out at least once with her around. like tbh i’m still not sure either if carrie is like a legit part of canon but she is to me & i do think kaz deserves to be a little domestic in the last years of his life. fishing. raising his daughter. having a wife. taking care of 50 wolf dogs.

and i think he looks very nice on top of all of that too. i’m literally So There’s This Senior Citizen right now but his hair is very very very good if nothing else. the ponytail really suits him and i like to think about all the different hairstyles he could wear. u think carrie ever braided it because i sure do :buttercat:

5) he is one of the smartest most articulate characters in the entire series. his college degree is definitely in business. he reads theory and knows the intricacies of world politics and law. but he is also a complete himbo who can barely rub two of his brain cells together

#asks #anon #cc #I HAD TO PUT THIS UNDER A #CUT BECAUSE IT WAS SO LONG LOL anyway thank you #for enabling me truly and i hope ur doing well today 💞

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lady-plantagenet · 3 years

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I see you are inspired by my rambling huhu. 2, 19 and 25 for the history meme!

In response to: Tumblr History Ask Meme: https://lady-plantagenet.tumblr.com/post/643743359209472000/ive-seen-plenty-of-tumblr-ask-challenges-but

Umm... YES I HAVE. Thank you for that friend 💕.

2- What is your country most famous for in history?

Oh this is really really easy... Vlad the Impaler; or as we call him - Vlad the Dragon. I would also like to take this as an opportunity to say that I feel a bit uncomfortable with the West’s obsession with Dracula and, by extension, his sadism. The real figure was just so much more compelling and interesting and this caricaturisation of him is inappropriate. No beef with Bram Stoker of course, just more irritated by what grew out as a result of that novel (which I have yet to read). He was fair, penalised laziness and theft, was a byword for greatness, piety and bravery in all of Europe and had it not been for him my country would have long become an Ottoman colony. He is the single-most most revered figure in Romania to the point where he is some sort of King Arthur for us. While I am happy that he has found world renown and in the west we are primarily associated with him, I would rather it be with the real man and not Dracula.

19 - What’s your favourite historical book?

Well, I’ve rambled about The Last of the Barons by Lord Edward Lytton-Bulwer enough to give everyone on here hives, so I’ll just give you the links to my other posts haha. One of these days when I am less stressed I will write an essay/book-review about it as a whole, though I am not worthy :(. I will give you my favourite historical non-fiction book and that is The Waning of the Middle Ages by Johan Huizinga. Mercy! When I found out they assign it as reading in some universities it restored my faith in humanity and the coming generations of medievalists. So far, I haven’t disagreed with Huizinga once, he really *gets it*, by it I mean the culture and beliefs of the 15th century (focusing almost solely on Burgundy and a little bit on France). I think it should be compulsory reading for all 15th century historical novelists even if you are setting your story in England. It is the finest example of thematic history around but also with an acute awareness of the practicalities and mechanics underpinning this system and hierarchy. It is written in a very idealistic wistful tone but doesn’t woobify the Middle Ages and idealises it past how its inhabitants would have seen it e.g. it admits that by the 15th century some parts of the pomp and such e.g. court rituals were performed with this sense of irony and even lampooned by some of its participants because they have really become overwrought and out-of-place not because the renaissance brought luxury, and end to barbarism or whatever. My Tumblr is full of quotes from his book and I am ashamed to say that I have ran into a very similar situation here as I had once with the aforementioned novel - I have not finished reading it because I am committed to only reading it when I can truly absorb what it is saying. It needs to be savoured as it is really not long.

25 - Who is the most overrated historical figure, in your opinion?

I do not want to copy you but I was itching to say that it is Richard III. I have recently encountered some users who are a fan of him and take a very healthy approach and I greatly admire them for that and I am not knocking on their interest by saying this - I swear. Personally, The Wars of the Roses, I find to be an interesting period generally so by extension yeah I think Richard is worth a study. My only issue is... he does not appear that remarkable? If anyone wants to debate me on this go ahead, I confess I haven’t dedicated a lot of time on reading about his life 1469 - 1483 where he was an able administrator (but then again that’s not the reason why most people are interested in him anyway). Hell, people in the 15th century weren’t fawning over him like they did with Edward IV, George Duke of Clarence or Richard Neville Earl of Warwick, not only did he ultimately fail (like the latter two) but he didn’t even have that diva appeal or humanness that makes you wonder what was going on in his mind. His motivations, to be honest, seem very easily discernible. For some time I wondered whether his deposition (and likely murder) of his nephews was down to some great concern for the common weal or utilitarianism - I have seen many thesis on him being some sort of ‘people’s champion’. I was intrigued. BUT I really feel like “the people” did not see it like that. Edward, Clarence and Warwick all experienced much higher popularity during their lifetimes so really how remarkable was he in this respect (again, tell me if you have a counter-argument, hell send an ask). Besides, in his 1483 coup, he chose to ally with Buckingham. Yes Buckingham - the very symbol of the high-handed feudal baron that Edward IV was trying to weaken to promote greater stability and suffered greatly in this enterprise. So my question is, did Richard III have any strong beliefs of his own that underpinned the 1483 coup? The execution of William Hastings was very baffling for me to understand for that it provides a further contradiction to my point about Richard wanting to promote an Edward-style stability in the realm. Hastings and the Woodvilles were both essential for that and something good really could have come out of them working together for Edward V. Also, no one hit me with the ‘his life was in danger’. He had the military power to easily crush all the Woodvilles if they all banded together against him (whether that was even their intention in the first place is another story).

Also, the historiographical debate which is what really makes him is getting very trite lately. That is not to say I am not eager to see what others have to say - I have great faith in some of the people I’ve met on this site, BUT, as a whole, what is being written in blogs, books and articles so far is hardly riveting. You could tide me over if you hit me with facts that he was unusually precocious or incredibly hard-working (both I get a sense of) but I really could not care less that he stayed loyal to his brother. Like most people did, that’s how Clarence and Warwick lost... as Hicks pointed out, he was a third son [sic fourth] there really was not other prospect for him and his advancement than sticking with Edward. Also what is with people’s obsession with loyalty on here? I get a medieval person’s concern with being loyal but this is the 21st century. So yeah he’s overrated in the sense that he is really not that special. Not in a saintly too-good-for-the-world sort of way nor in a tittilating oh-wow-he-is-sooo-evil-nice~~. He was a great man in many ways and deserves interest invested into him. Let me make this clear ~ I don’t think he’s basic or whatever. But given the proportion that this is to nowadays he is severely overrated. I’m talking millions of pounds, an ECHR trial, nearly one hundred novels, a stately funeral and all this distorts popular history’s approach to the period as a whole in a way that really annoys me - often with Clarence being made to look far more incompetent, insignificant and lame as a consequence (which admittedly is more of a me problem but then again this is an opinion meme).

#anyone else feel free to ask me!#🍷❤️#fr sometimes I cringe at myself for getting so riled up about this type of stuff #oh well #richard iii #george of clarence #edward iv #richard neville 16th earl of warwick #lord warwick #richard neville earl of warwick #warwick the kingmaker #george plantagenet #george duke of clarence

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palimpsessed · 4 years

Text

The Welsh Red Dragon, Kurt Vonnegut, and Social Activism

The inspiration behind Shepard’s pins

(original post with full artwork here.)

So, I spent A LOT of time thinking about the kind of pins our good friend Shepard (from Omaha, NE) would have on his denim jacket. Like a lot. Like an obsessive amount of time. I made a list, which seemed appropriate for this fandom. And because I’m a nerd and this sort of thing really interests me, and I’m proud of what I came up with, and because I think some of these items open up the possibility for some good, good literary analysis, I decided to make a whole post dedicated to Shepard’s pins. You’re welcome.

First, a little bit about my thought process. How did I decide what kind of pins to give Shepard? Well, he’s a guy full of stories. Stories that he can’t wait to tell anyone and everyone. And stories that others (mostly Maybes) have told him, once he’s earned their confidence. So, I wanted his pins to tell a story, his story in particular. What is the story that Shepard wants to tell about himself? More precisely, what is the story he wants to tell his new magickal friends on a disastrous summer holiday? The story is that of his own magickal credibility. His journey to magic (his come to Crowley moment, perhaps?) (I’d apologize, but I’m not sorry…) and his trustworthiness as evidenced by all of the Maybes he’s met along the way. He’s gotten drunk off dandelion wine with a creek dryad, given a toothbrush to a Sasquatch. spilled the tea with a jackalope, midwifed a centaur foal. Shep’s journey is just as impressive as Simon’s, and while Simon has been collecting notches on his dead dark creature bedpost (that’s a weird fucking metaphor…) (and now I’m thinking about dark creatures and Simon’s bedposts…so, you’re welcome, Basilton), Shep’s been collecting notches of the friendly variety. (Shoutout to @adamarks who did some super lovely analysis on Simon and Shep as mirrors here: https://adamarks.tumblr.com/post/188046272067/ok-so-when-shepard-said-he-was-cursed-the-first). So, I decided that I wanted to use Shep’s pins as a way to show the notches on his bedpost, so to speak. (Okay, I’m really losing this metaphor, but I think you’re still with me.)

Let’s dive in!

(I’m working my way down one side of his jacket at a time, for those following along at home.)

RIGHT SIDE

Welsh Dragon: I made this one very large, and easy to spot on his right shoulder. Of all of his accoutrements, this one felt like the most important. Mainly, because of Simon. Simon is, after all, half-Welsh. (The Mage, may he rest in pain, came to Watford from Wales.) And, of course, Simon, just like the Welsh Dragon, is a red dragon. (Or in the process of becoming one? Or a half-dragon? Or a dragon kitten?…) And the dragon that Simon and Baz fought on the Watford lawn, when they first worked together, and first shared magic, was a red dragon. Of course, the actual dragon in question here is Margaret. Shepard would absolutely have a pin to commemorate his friendship with her. And since I was going to give him a pin with a dragon, I knew I was going to have to use the Welsh Dragon because it would perfectly capture his burgeoning friendship with Simon, as well. Now, I want to go on a slight detour here (this blog post will be its own Odyssey) and talk more about the Welsh Red Dragon. I took the design for the pin from the Welsh flag, which is the thing that first made me think more about Simon’s Welsh connection. I’m not really making a point here, I just think it’s fascinating! There’s a lot of Welsh lore about the Red Dragon (and Margaret herself calls Simon “Great Red” - that ‘R’ is capitalized, by the way, so this seems to be a proper name for the kind of dragon that she thinks Simon is). Full disclosure, I am not Welsh and I am not a scholar on any of this by any means. That being said, a cursory, and super academic, perusal of the Wikipedia article on the Welsh Dragon led me to a few different history websites that linked the symbol of the red dragon with Merlin and King Arthur (son of Uther Pendragon, literally dragon head). Merlin, one of the most well-known magical figures and Arthur, one of the most well-known Chosen One figures in literary tradition. I know very little about Arthurian legend, and Welsh history, and dragon lore, though, so I’m going to just say, do a little research on your own when you’re bored and feeling nerdy!

Resist!: Shep is a young black man (and reasonable human being) living in the U.S. during the [redacted] Administration. I should hope this one is self-explanatory.

Hoover Dam: At some point in his visits to see Blue, I’m sure Shepard stopped off at the gift shop and bought himself a souvenir pin to mark the incredible experience he had making friends with an actual river. (This pin design is based on an actual souvenir pin of the Hoover Dam I found on Google Images—along with most of the other pin designs. I think it’s vintage, which just felt even more like Shepard to me, because he’s the kind of guy who would appreciate stuff that’s got a past.)

Deathly Hallows: I mean, IF the Harry Potter books/movies exist in the Simon Snow universe (which hasn’t been confirmed, as far as I know, by our Queen) I’m sure Shepard would have been totally into it as a kid, and probably would have found greater significance in its magical lore once he discovered that ACTUAL MAGIC EXISTS! So, he would have a pin to show his belief in the magickal world, and maybe also as a nostalgic reminder of when magic was still just something fictional he could turn to for escapism (and not something that would result in being cursed by a demon…).

The Truth is Out There: So, I know virtually nothing about The X-Files (my sister was obsessed with it to the point that she wanted to become a FBI agent for a few years, but I never watched it), but I’m sure Shepard is a fan. If nothing else, the sentiment is awfully apropos.

So It Goes: This one is very hard to see. It sort of looks like a black teardrop with a bar on top of it (it’s supposed to look like a bomb). The pin I based this off of reads “So It Goes”, which from my very superficial research, is a line repeated in Vonnegut’s anti-war novel Slaughterhouse-Five every time someone dies. I don’t know anything more about it, other than that it is a Kurt Vonnegut-inspired pin available for purchase on Etsy, and Shep mentions that he wanted to get a Vonnegut quote tattoo, even though “everybody has those.”

Green Alien Head: You will never be able to convince me that Shepard does not 10,000% believe in the existence of aliens. If he were still in the U.S. during the Area 51 Raid, I’m sure he would have stopped by, just, you know, for science…(I’m thinking he was probably still in the UK, but I guess we’ll see in AWTWB.)

Centaur: This one is also hard to see, but I took the design from a pin I found of one of the centaurs (the blue-haired, blue-bodied one, if that rings a bell for you) from Disney’s Fantasia. (Fun fact: I was super into Fantasia as a littlun, and I attribute my lifelong love for classical music in large part to the centaur sequence and my latent lesbianism—I mean, it was ludicrously erotic. Watch it sometime and tell me it would not make an impression on a sapphic three-year-old.) Midwifing a centaur foal was probably a very emotional and formative experience for Shepard. Buying this pin would be his way of remembering that experience, and the excitement and gratitude he likely felt to have been entrusted with that kind of acceptance from the centaur(s).

Jackalope: It doesn’t help that this pin is almost the same color as Shepard’s jacket, but it’s based off a design of a jackalope’s head that, again, I found on Google Image search (honestly, I don’t know how I ever made art without it). We know that Shepard once got some gossip from a jackalope, who vented to him about magicians calling “themselves ‘magicians’”, like “they’re the only ones with magic”. (This is totally irrelevant, but I always think of Americans when I read this. I am an American, by the way. America is a continent, but those of us living in the U.S. calls ourselves Americans, like everyone else living in America doesn’t matter.) Anyway, the jackalope offered Shepard some valuable insight into the political workings of the magickal world, so it gets its own pin.

LEFT SIDE

Pansexual Pride Flag Pin: I mean, technically, canonically, we don’t know what Shepard’s sexuality (or asexuality) is, but I just get some vibes from him. Plus, if we take him as a mirror for Simon (who is somewhere on the bi-plus spectrum), it’s not a far cry to imagine he also identifies somewhere on that spectrum.

Pentagram: This is another symbol that I chose based on my interpretation of Shepard’s character, and not so much on a Maybe or a story that he mentioned. The pentagram, or pentacle, is typically associated with the occult and witchcraft, which is something that could potentially also be said of Shep.

Sasquatch: You don’t go backpacking—or not backpacking—and introduce a Sasquatch to the benefits of dental hygiene without getting yourself a souvenir of the hike.

I [heart] Mystery Spot: The Mystery Spot is a weird sort of phenomenon in California (my home state). It’s a place outside the beach town of Santa Cruz that boasts of a “gravitational anomaly” on its website. I went once, years ago, and while you’re there, it can feel pretty convincing. (Also, I was probably like 10, so…) People outside of California will likely never have heard of this place, but driving around here (at least in the Bay Area, where I am, which isn’t that far from Santa Cruz) you’ll see yellow Mystery Spot bumper stickers on cars everywhere. I’m not really sure what the thing is with the bumper stickers. Like, I’m sure not that many people actually think it’s legit, and maybe it’s like one of those things that Californians just do (like freak out and forget how to drive when we feel water falling from the sky). But yeah, these bumper stickers are everywhere. Anyway, Shepard drives around a lot. He knows about the Vampires of Las Vegas (how is that not an indie rock band?) and the Katherine Hotel, and the Next Blood. So, he’s probably made it past Nevada and into California before. And while he was there, it’s not a great stretch of the imagination that someone who chases after magic wouldn’t wind up at a place called the Mystery Spot and get himself a pin while he was there. (And maybe even a bumper sticker.)

Black Power Fist: Unfortunately, this one is also hard to see, because the fist is black and I didn’t have anything to go over the outlines of the fingers with, which I sort of didn’t think about when I colored it. This one also feels self-explanatory. Shepard is black. Blackness has long been treated in itself as a crime by non-black members of law enforcement, and just the general racist population of the U.S. Young black men are especially vulnerable to racially motivated violence. I’m sure Shep, who drives all over the country by himself and gets into high speed chases at night in the middle of nowhere Nebraska while hunting super shifty rando Maybes has had a run-in or two. Stay safe, Shep!

Every Pronoun Belongs Here [Trans Pride Flag background]: Also, super hard to see because the letters are too small to read. I found this exact pin in a basket by the register at my local bookshop. (Support local bookshops, people!) They were being sold as a fundraiser for a LGBTQ club at one of the high schools, and I loved the idea that I could help them raise money and add this pin to my own growing collection to show off my support for trans rights. (Support trans rights and trans people, people!) I decided to give Shepard this same pin, because I could imagine him having an almost identical book buying experience in a dozen other towns that he’s probably visited. And I love the simplicity of the message, because it’s one of belonging, which EVERYONE is desperately seeking, no matter who they are or how they identify, and Shepard, and every character in this picture, is no exception. (Plus, it seemed like a cool way to connect my pin collection with Shep’s. Maybe I should have mentioned the fact that I’m also a pin person at the beginning? I walk to work and on my lunch breaks, so I carry all of my stuff in a backpack. And I proudly display my random pin collection on my backpack. Including several Simon Snow-related pins.)

Don’t Panic: This was based off a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy pin. I don’t really know anything about the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (including if it’s okay to abbreviate it as HGG? THGTTG? whatever), even though I did watch the movie years back when it was on TV and I still lived with my parents who had a TV. But the sentiment felt appropriate, and Shepard is a sort of magickal hitchhiker. Apart from managing to hold down a job at Dick Blick, he appears to lead a somewhat nomadic lifestyle. He tells Penny, “the road is my teacher”, and if that’s not a hitchhiker slogan, I don’t know what is. (Ass, gas, or grass?)

Black Lives Matter: They do. Just sayin’.

Magic Troll Doll: When I was growing up, the Troll doll was all the (nightmare-inducing) rage. Trolls are one of those magickal creatures that are continually mentioned in the series. Shepard talks about lonely trolls under bridges. Simon talks about killing trolls. Agatha would rather kiss a troll. And Baz was kidnapped by numpties, who are sort of like trolls. I couldn’t not include a troll. And the Troll doll specifically felt perfect, because the full name was Magic Troll Doll. You can bet if Shepard had to pick a troll-related pin, it would be a magic(k)al one.

[Asshole]: This is another Kurt Vonnegut pin. It looks like a messily drawn asterisk (*), but it’s actually meant to be an asshole (taken from the preface of Vonnegut’s novel Breakfast of Champions, and drawn by Vonnegut himself). I just thought, why the fuck not? So, here. Have an asshole pin. (I should have put it on a buttonhole…)

HONOURABLE MENTION

Shepard’s Phone Case: Remember that line I quoted earlier, about Shep wanting to get a Vonnegut quote tattoo? Well, when I was trying to figure out what to put on his phone case, I thought that seemed like a reasonable place to start. So, I googled Vonnegut quotes, to see if I could find one that I thought Shepard would like. Here’s the quote: “a purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.” I just loved that for Shepard.

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speuradair · 4 years

Text

Hopeless | Villain! Izuku Midoriya

Word Count: 1.9K

Requested- by @hottopicweeb

Contains- mild swearing, angst

AU- Quirkless Midoriya never inherits One For All and is left with mixed feelings towards heroes after All Might says he can never be a hero without a quirk

“They made you cry,

but that will end tonight”

You knew your boyfriend. Midoriya was caring, dedicated, and compassionate. Even as a young boy, he went out of his way to be warm and kind. He was the kindest person you knew, and you never doubted that for a second. So, what the hell was this?

Your grip tightened on the overstuffed notebook as you studied the messy hiragana before you, as if it would suddenly jump off the page and give you the answers you were trying to find. Flipping through the countless pages only raised more questions. It just didn't make sense. Why would Midoriya be keeping this kind of log book? He'd been keeping notebooks on heroes for as long as you could remember, sure, but this one was different. This wasn't just his typical notes on how to be a good hero. It was more detailed and focused, almost obsessive.

There had to be over a hundred pages worth of notes scribbled here, a concerning amount of which were detailing the weaknesses and secrets of your classmates. There was enough here to take down almost any of them. It seemed less like observations, and more like a game plan. This was the last thing you were expecting when Izuku had said he wanted to show you something.

"Zuku, what is this?"

"I'm not supposed to tell anyone, but I know I can trust you," he grinned, his manner still as bright as it always was, despite the creepy nature of what he'd just handed you, "and I thought it would make you feel better!"

How was this creepy, secret stalker book supposed to make you feel better?

"I.. I don't understand. What aren’t you supposed to tell anyone?"

He stepped forward, extending his hand to lace his fingers with yours, attempting to comfort you.

"I saw what happened earlier, baby. It's okay, you don't have to pretend you're fine! I know what's going on," His green eyes gazed into yours as he spoke.

A warm flush raised to your cheeks at the reminder of that afternoon’s events, mortification returning fast enough for you to miss that he'd just avoided your question. It had been embarrassing enough that it happened, and knowing that Izuku had seen it only made it that much worse.

“It’s fine, I got my stuff back. They were just being jerks,” you lied, your voice sounding softer and less convincing than you intended.

“It’s not fine. They took your personal things and made you cry.”

“Izuku,” you sighed, “They’re just being jerks. That’s what they always do.” It unfortunately wasn't uncommon for people at school to mess with you. Whether it was snickering behind you or trying to trip you or, as of recently, stealing personal things out of your bag, they always seemed to find some way to irritate you. At this point it just felt like an annoyance you'd have to deal with because that's just how high school was.

"That doesn't mean you have to take it without putting up a fight! I hate seeing what they do to you! I spent so many years being the one that was pushed around, and seeing it happen to you now just reminds me of how bad it hurt then," his demeanor had changed. Though his voice was wavering as it usually did when he was riled up, it seemed to be rooted in an entirely different emotion. It wasn't sadness or embarrassment, it was anger. "I know you want out of here, and I do too."

You dropped your gaze in a subconscious attempt to avoid eye contact, causing your eyes to land on the notebook in your hands again. “But.. but what does that have to do with this?”

“It’s to let you know I have a plan to get out of here.”

The room had gone cold. What the hell was that supposed to mean? There were only so many ways to use a book of weaknesses to your advantage. Izuku, your Izuku, couldn’t possibly mean what you thought he did. You knew he could be awkward and oblivious sometimes, it had to just be that he didn’t realize how menacing that sounded. It had to be a misunderstanding.

Trying to convince yourself that that’s all it was, you gave him a weak laugh, “What? Sorry, I think I’m missing the connection here.”

Though you tried to hide your feelings, Izuku knew you well enough to recognize the concern in your eyes. Just because you weren't in the book didn't mean you'd been excluded from his meticulous observation. He knew everything about you, and that's how he wanted it to be.

Without needing any more prompting, he slipped the book from your now trembling hands and set it on the desk behind him before taking your hands in his.

"Hey, don't look so scared," he cooed, "You don't have to be scared anymore, I'm going to take care of it, puppy."

You didn't know what to say. You wanted, needed, him to explain some harmless reason to you and make you feel silly for thinking otherwise. You needed him to help dismiss your paranoia just like he always did.

"There's a plan being put into motion, puppy. They asked for my help, and I've decided to give it to them. Then, they'll help us get out of here." He was speaking way too calmly for what he was saying.

"They?"

"The League of Villains. I have a lot of information that they want. If I give them that book, they'll help us. If I can just prove to them that I really am able to get the kind of information they’re looking for, they’d have to keep me around. Especially now that we’re in UA, I have all kinds of ways to get information that none of the other villains can. And you have a really good quirk, there’s no way they’d reject-"

You scoffed and pulled your hands away instinctively, immediately cutting off his rambling before he became too lost in his own thoughts.

"Woah, what the hell are you talking about?"

This didn't sound like your Midoriya.

He sighed, seeming a bit dejected at your sudden retraction. "Baby,just let me explain." Before he could reach you again, you stepped back, trying desperately to grasp what was going on.

"What is there to explain?!" There was an edge to your voice that you hadn't entirely intended, and it in itself scared you. You'd never had to raise your voice at him before.

"Babe, don't you-"

"Don't 'babe' me right now!" You turned away from him, a sick feeling tugging at your stomach and threatening your already weak composure with a wave of nausea.

There had only been a handful of times that you and Midoriya had argued, and it had always been from misunderstandings or overstressed pettiness. This was the first real fight, and it was a very serious one.

Izuku understood your hesitation and dropped the pet names, but he wasn't about to drop his argument. "Don’t you ever think about what your life might be like if you made different decisions? Haven't you ever questioned if what they’re telling us is right, really is right?”

“What happened to your whole ‘wanting to be a symbol of hope and peace’ thing?! How are you supposed to be a symbol of hope and peace when you’re working with Shigaraki and his goons?”

“All Might was supposed to be the ultimate symbol of hope and peace,” he countered, his voice darker than you’d ever heard, “And you know what he told me? He told me, a starry-eyed preteen boy who idolized him, that I couldn’t be a hero without a quirk, that there was no use in trying. Does that sound like something that would inspire hope? The Ultimate Symbol of Hope and Peace destroyed my hope more than Bakugou or anyone else could ever try to. Why would I want to be like him?”

He spoke with unwavering deliberation, like he’d dutifully thought it over. Knowing Izuku, you didn’t doubt that he had.

You didn’t know how to respond. You knew that All Might was a sensitive topic for him, and it pained you even just seeing the way his posture sank when the pro-hero was around. Hearing him blatantly describe the emotional turmoil inside of him was more than enough to pull the tears from where you’d tried desperately to contain them.

“I’ve tried to convince myself that it’s wrong to still be mad about that, but why shouldn’t I be? My whole life I’ve been told I’m less than everyone else around me, and the number one hero pretty much said the same thing! And now people are doing the same to you. I was willing to take it when it was just my problem, but I won’t let them make any problems for you. This can end tonight. I just have to hand this over.”

“Do you really think we should trust the League of Villains with our lives?!” You let out a breathy, humorless laugh at the pure unbelievability of the situation.

“Do you remember when Shigaraki led that attack while we were at USJ? They were so close to winning that fight! They’re villains, but they’re not stupid; They clearly know what they’re doing. They wouldn’t be bad allies. Would it really be so bad to work with-”

"We're not villains, Izuku! We're heroes, you're a hero! You've always wanted to be a hero, and now suddenly you want to screw around with the League of Villains?"

"No, (name)," he was suddenly calm again, boldly grabbing your wrist to keep you from moving away from him again. "I've always wanted to be one of the good guys. How are these people the good guys if they're treating us like this?"

When you didn't have an answer, he continued.

"Our classmates are supposed to be the heroes, but they're not the good guys. The good guys wouldn't beat us down like this. They wouldn't take our stuff and throw in the puddles, or make fun of us! When did All Might ever ridicule someone for not being as strong as him? Heroes are supposed to be a symbol of hope and peace, not examples of how to abuse others. If this is what heroes are now, I don't want to be a hero anymore."

"Zuku.."

"They don't want us to stand with them anyway. They've made that pretty clear, don't you think? They all think I can't be a hero without a quirk. Hell, you have a quirk, and apparently they don't think you can be a hero either. Why should we fight this hard to be associated with mean people like that?"

You hated that what he'd just said kind of made sense. Your classmates had done a pretty damn good job of showing that they didn't want you around. Their dead set mindset of you being weak had always made you want to prove them wrong, but did you really need to sell them out to the League of Villains to do so?

"Puppy, they already said they had a place for me if I help them. If they want a quirkless idiot like me, there's no way they'd turn down someone like you. All we'd have to do is turn this in, and we could be out of here." His big green eyes stared into yours, his free hand gently coming to rest on your cheek. "But I'm not going without you."

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