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sociallyanxiouscryptid-writings · 6 months

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Bridge

CW: Suicide attempt, bruises and signs of torture, saved from a suicide attempt

(Let me know if I need to add anymore content warnings and tags)

Villain finds someone they didn't expect standing on the edge of a bridge

Villain rolled the car to a stop as they approached the bridge. It was a small bridge, in a very remote and dense area, the kind of place a villain would choose to be away from people, to ensure secrecy and privacy. And yet here someone stood, kilometres away from the city, alone, staring down at the rushing water below.

Villain looked to their passenger.

“Stay here,” they said, “just in case it’s a trap.”

Passenger nodded, and they both returned to looking at the figure.

If the figure had noticed Villain’s car they showed no sign of it, not even when Villain opened the door and stepped out. Out here silence wasn’t really a thing, the white noise of the torrent, harmonised by the gentle swaying of the trees surrounding them. In any other situation it would be relaxing, here it was heavy, stifling.

Villain approached carefully, steps crunching under the loose tarmac as they spent the time selecting right words to say as they got closer and closer. From this distance they could not see the figure’s face, a hood over their head obscuring most of it. But the figure was small, thin, in a way that could concern Villain. Although at least it meant they would be easy to grab. Light, weak.

Their hand was swollen, Villain could notice, broken for sure, one of the fingers bent a little awkwardly. The sleeves covering their arms were dirty, so was the rest of their clothes, like they had slept in them for a long while, laid on the ground in the dirt and what could be blood. In conclusion, wherever this person came from, it was not a good place.

Villain made it a couple of metres away before stopping, the figure shifting their weight though whether it was because of Villain or not they couldn’t tell. Up until this point they still had not acknowledged them, still just stared down.

“That’s a long way to fall,” Villain said.

The figure’s body stiffened, a tremble running through them before falling completely still. Their shoulders slumped, and Villain recognised complete and utter defeat.

“Do you think it would be enough for me?” Sidekick said.

Villain tried and failed to hide their shock. They took a step closer to the side, tilting their head to see around the hood. But even then, it took Villain a second to recognise Sidekick’s face, the bruising and swelling, the hollowness in their eyes. It took everything within Villain to steel themself, to reign in the shock, to hold back the sliver of amusement, the droplet of rage.

“I see you met Supervillain,” Villain said.

The mere mention of the name seized Sidekick.

“Yes,” they said, barely a whisper. A tear ran down their face. “I told them everything,” they said. “Two weeks and I told them everything and now Hero is…”

They couldn’t finish that sentence, that thought. A sob wracked them, bringing it with devastating pain. They held their ribs, tried sucking in a breath and choked on it.

“Two weeks,” Villain said. “That’s impressive.”

Sidekick managed to steal a breath, felt no relief in it.

“It’s all destroyed,” Sidekick said. “Everything. They took everything. They’ve won.”

Words danced on the tip of Villains tongue, but they held them in. Sidekick’s agency was one of many that existed in this modern world, one that had slowly been creeping up Supervillain’s list. A devastating hit, taking out their agency would be, but a final victory it was not.

“So that’s why you’re here?” Villain asked. “Standing on the side a bridge ready to end it all?”

Sidekick watched the water rush, imagined it whisking them away, the current caressing their wounds, taking their pain.

“Do you think it will work?” They asked.

Villain took a step towards the edge, looked down, stepped back.

“I’ve seen you survive worse.”

Sidekick’s bottom lip quivered.

“Would it be stupid to try anyway?”

“It will hurt,” Villain said.

But the words fell on deaf ears, Sidekick’s eyes glazing over.

Villain lunged as they stepped forward, predictably wrenching back their light weight like a half empty sack of potatoes. Sidekick tumbled over the railing, Villain ready to tackle them further but before the thought could complete Sidekick’s legs gave out.

Villain had heard many sounds of despair before. Heard the wails of grief, of anger, of betrayal, and yet they had never heard something quite as painful as this. Sidekick had, had so much passion in them, so much drive to do good, and here it was, broken.

Sidekick screamed and cried, curling over their knees as they hugged themself. Pure and raw emotion pouring out of them, echoing into the trees and disappearing into the void of the earth. Villain simply watched and waited. They had questions of course, namely how does something like this happen without their knowing? And then there was the part of them taking in the bruises, the torture and pain, and they took it personally. Supervillain knew who Sidekick was, knew how Villain felt about it and still, here they were.

When Sidekick’s breathing began to even out, and the tears dried up, Villain stepped forward and crouched in front of them.

“A hero’s life is a hard one, you put so much on the line, have so many eyes on you,” Villain said, “that’s why we tried to convince you against it, to avoid this.”

Sidekick raised their head, a new emotion in their eyes.

“This wasn’t because of being a hero, this was because of your people.”

“Oh sweetie, not my people,” Villain softly, “I wouldn’t have left you alive, I’m not that cruel.”

Sidekick’s knuckles whitened.

“But you’ve always been bull-headed,” Villain continued, “and you will always look down on me.”

Villain stood, turning slightly to face the car and gesturing for Passenger.

“But that’s ok, unlike you I accepted the state of the world a long time ago.”

Sidekick looked to Passenger as they approached, did their best to sit up.

“What are you doing?” Sidekick asked, trying to stand.

“Pain in my ass or not, I’m not exactly going to let my sibling suffer like this, you’re coming back with me.”

“No,” they said but barely made it to their knees before sucking in a sharp breath.

“You don’t really have a choice,” Villain said, stepping to their side, grabbing Sidekick’s arm and gently helping them stand.

“No,” Sidekick tried to pull from Villain’s grip, only to bump into Passenger, who grabbed their other arm.

“Don’t worry, I’ll fix everything. I’ve always wanted an excuse to kill Supervillain. No time like the present to get my name out there.”

Passenger attached a cuff to one of Sidekick’s wrists and a sudden burst of panic surged through them.

Sidekick punched Passenger with their good hand, smacking right into their nose. Blood gushed, Passenger recoiled, and Sidekick spun. Villain grabbed the second hit, but Sidekick need them, following through with a head but that ended up against Villain’s mouth, busting the lip.

Sidekick stumbled a few metres away, wheezing.

Villain laughed. “You may be a hero, but you fight like a villain,” they said, grinning with bloodied teeth.

Everyone stood still for a second, a beat of tension before Sidekick took off, the other two in hot pursuit.

They didn’t make it far, something hitting their legs, sending them tumbling, head bouncing off the hard ground. What little air they had was knocked out of them, and white stars danced in their vision. They could barely feel the hands on them as they arms were cuffed behind their back.

“Really Sidekick, do you always have to make things so difficult?” Villain’s voice appeared. “If you go back out there, you will die, either by your own hand or some opportunistic villain, and I don’t want to have the reputation of having a failed hero sibling. This is for your own good.”

Sidekick was breathless, unable to drag a single coherent thought to another. And yet, Sidekick found themself staring up at Villain, their face filling their vision.

“No,” it was pathetic and small, but still slipped through their lips.

“You really think after all this time, I would hurt you?”

“Yes.”

Villain smirked at that.

“Well then you better behave.”

Sidekick felt themself lifted into the air, the last of their fight leaving them.

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wen-kexing-apologist · 1 year

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EIGHTH SENSE THEORY

(content warning: I will be referencing suicide attempts and vomit in this post)

I saw other people speculating that Episode 6 might be some sort of medication misuse psychotic break on JaeWon's part and honestly? Having just watched it. I definitely think this man is hallucinating.

I'm not entirely sure if this was something that came from the nature of watching this episode not on Viki, but so much of the episode seemed too bright, too blurry. The way the light hit the JiHyun's white jacket made it look like he was reflecting light, like he was heavenly or angelic in a way.

Like when they are in the car in the beginning:

Or eating on the bench:

Or arriving at the beach:

And something I noticed while watching these scenes, admittedly coming in to it having already seen discussions of a possible mental break, is that JaeWon rarely makes eye contact with JiHyun and they do not physically touch until 12 minutes into the episode.

Not until we have seen them walk up the stairs once already.

First set of stairs:

Second set of stairs:

But crucially here, it's windy, and JiHyun is gripping JaeWon in a way that might equate the force you feel from a strong wind.

Other hints that JaeWon might be hallucinating?

Same food order at the same time, something cute if they actually did that, but something that could also be explained if only one person was ordering food.

JiHyun taking his food with him when he goes to the bathroom but leaving his drink. We saw him take a bite out of the food, so if that food was real and he left it on the bench, we would have seen evidence that food had been eaten. But we never see JiHyun take a sip of his drink AND we never see JaeWon or JiHyun buy that drink. Meaning it is completely feasible that JaeWon ordered two drinks and set that one down for "JiHyun" even though he isn't actually there.

And of course, there is further evidence, in my mind, for this being a hallucination or mental break of some sort due to the many, many instances throughout Episode 6 of JaeWon's face being blurry.

For example, here:

And here:

And...ok you know what? I'm going to stop these examples here

The morning they wake up on the beach seems fake, again it feels too bright, too heavenly in a way:

And the kiss scene is so interesting to me for a few reasons, and is also why I am leaning towards hallucination/imagination. First of all, they are in public, there are other people around on that beach. When JaeWon was holding JiHyun's thigh in Episode 4 and JiHyun's best friend came out on the roof, they slid apart real quick.

And it's not like their attraction to one another hasn't been obvious, and it's not like JaeWon hasn't literally kissed men in front of people before. They aren't completely opposed to being openly queer, but this is a huge, undeniable, and extremely public kiss.

I am also just so in love with the choice the production team made to cut out all sound when they are playing in the water. Because that silence can be interpreted so many ways, the main two for me being: intimate and insidious.

"To cause you trauma," is an excellent response to JaeWon asking why JiHyun kissed him. Because water is, presumably, a very traumatizing thing to JaeWon. I don't think he said how his brother died, but his microexpressions to JiHyun referencing water torture definitely lead me to believe that JaeWon's brother drowned (learning to surf perhaps?) and JaeWon finds both comfort and pain in returning to the sea as a way to feel connected to his brother but also to punish himself for failing him.

Then we get the bed scene. Now, I don't want to presume anything about JiHyun, he's totally allowed to be a slut, but...this show has continuously established this boy as naive and innocent. Like, totally unaware of the implications of asking JaeWon if he wants to "eat ramen".

So to go from not understanding innuendos and still not being entirely certain that JaeWon kissed you intentionally that first time or if he was just drunk, to full on make out sessions and getting dicked down? I am all for JiHyun testing out his slut era, but I don't think that is the case here.

And I'm citing the background music as part of my evidence here. Because the background music is the song "I Can't Lose it All" and comes in at the last verse of the song, BEGINNING WITH THE LYRICS:

"I'm losing my mind

So darling just call

Tell me everything's alright

I don't want to slow

I can't lose it all

Make me feel like I'm suppose to go

Tell me what you thinking about me when I'm gone."

Which honestly, makes me believe JaeWon is imagining all of this intimacy with JiHyun as something that he craves but can't let himself actually seek out. Therefore he is letting himself have it all.

And I just want to give a shout out to this shot:

The way the waves are washing over their feet, in this room that we didn't see them rent, when they were only supposed to stay there for one night and now are apparently on night two in a fancy room instead of camping on the beach. It's a beautiful shot, but also some beautiful foreshadowing to the tragedy at the end of the episode, with the water rising up to meet them.

My final piece of evidence that this entire episode has all been in JaeWon's head?

This shot at the end where JaeWon is sitting by himself, looking at his hand in the sand because I'm pretty sure this shot comes chronologically before JiHyun's drowning. I think it's what any outside observer would actually see if they were to look at JaeWon, and I think the image below, in the brighter light, holding JiHyun's hand, is the hallucination that JaeWon is having.

Which meanssssssssssss............

If we believe the trip itself to be real, but JiHyun's presence on the trip to be false...

JAEWON IS THE ONE WHO IS DROWNING/DROWNED.

If we take this entire trip to be imagined/a dream then he hasn't actually woken up from binge drinking the night before and in that case I would say that he could be aspirating on his own vomit at the end. Either way, I feel like next episode might start with JaeWon waking up in a hospital.

Personally I think the greater tragedy would be JaeWon had a mental breakdown, disappeared without a trace, wound up at the beach here, and drowns, alone. With the resolution being that he is rescued, revived, possibly involuntarily committed or something for a possible suicide attempt...

...which now that I think about it, this could straight up be a suicide attempt of him trying to overdose on his medication, and like the alcohol result above, the drowning could be him aspirating his own vomit from overdosing on pills.

ANYWAY

All of this to say, I think JaeWon maybe took his therapist's question "why not make the relationship deeper?" very much to heart, and imagined a world where he was comfortable confiding in JiHyun and being entirely honest with him.

And also all of this to say that I believe there will ultimately be a happy ending for this show with JaeWon almost dying resulting in JaeWon finally cutting his shitty friend out of his life, JaeWon's Dad possibly being less aggressive after realizing he almost lost both of his sons, and JaeWon and JiHyun admitting their feelings for each other and being boyfriends in love surrounded only by supportive friends. I think JaeWon will end up graduating with his business degree but maybe pursue photography as a career or something at the end.

And I'm tagging @bengiyo, @shortpplfedup, @chicademartinica, and @respectthepetty because I want your THOUGHTS, I want your FEELINGS, I want your THEORIES and also tagging @lurkingshan because as I was scrolling through tags to try to find the original post about the possible medication induced psychotic break that started my theories rolling, I noticed you point out a lot of the same things I mentioned here so I also want your thoughts, feelings, and theories, or at the very least say that you are not alone in thinking that this was fake.

#the eighth sense #the eighth sense episode 6 #t8s #cw: suicide #cw: suicide attempt #cw: vomit #jaewon x jihyun #jaewon #jihyun #GOD I NEED TO STOP WATCHING SHOWS BECAUSE MY FUN LITTLE MINDLESS ACTIVITY HAS TURNED INTO A CONSTANT NEED TO CRANK OUT MASSIVE TEXT POSTS

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hydesjackiespuddinpop · 2 months

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But loving him was red Oh, red Burning red

Zaya - Red TV (Taylor Swift)

#degrassi #degrassiedit #zaya #zayaedit #otp: it felt like the world was gonna end #zig x maya #maya x zig #my gifs #my edits #my stuff #het ship #cw: suicide attempt #cw: overdose #I choose zig and Esme finding Maya unconscious for 'somebody you never met'#because zig never expected Maya to attempt suicide #maya-matlin #deliciouspirateangel #mayanovak

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starkcanvas · 2 years

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“It’s just like HE said when he found you… you used to be perfect… all that’s left, is a DISAPPOINTMENT…”

Horrible thoughts… can possibly lead to horrifying decisions…

#omori #omori game #omori spoilers #omori au #omori: clear out #omori mari #omori sunny #omori oc #omori klaus #omori wendell #omori fanart #cw: noose #tw: attempted suicide #cw: suicide attempt #triggering themes

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lili-loves-whump · 6 months

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lili-loves-whump presents:

a merry whumpmas snippet,

Broken Bones

There is a crack.

The cell was unbearably dirty. Rats crawled in the dark corners, whumpee nearly ate a cockroach once, and there was only one window.

Every day, and every night, they climbed up onto that windowsill.

At first, it was to escape. The metal bars were thick and the glass was bulletproof, but Whumpee was sure if they pulled or pushed or grated their nails against it, they could eventually break free. Two weeks of constant trying eventually led to no hope.

Then, it was to feel. Heat and cold took a lot longer to penetrate the cell, and whumpee was grateful for that most of the time. When their prison was cold, they would often clamber up and place their hands against the warm glass. The summertime sun never failed to impress.

After, it was to watch. Seasons changed, and Whumpee desperately tried to keep track of the time. It didn't always work- the water was unpredictable. But they were able to keep track of the time; a small mercy.

Now, it was to die.

Whumpee ripped the edge of their dress off.

It came away in one long strip, and they smiled devilishly.

They clambered up onto the windowsill. When they first arrived, they could barely fit on it. Now, they could easily lounge there for hours, with plenty of space to do whatever they wished.

They found themselves dozing up there quite often- more than they’d like to admit.

Using their feet as grips, they wove the fabric around and around the poles of the windows. Even the once-white fabric looked horribly bright against the dull black of the metal bars. They tugged it harshly to make sure it held.

Whumpee’s hands shook as they tied the final knot in the noose. They took a deep breath to calm their traitorous nerves.

Slowly, cautiously, they placed the fabric over their neck and tightened it like a scarf. They peered over the edge, to the harsh concrete floor and inhaled through their nose. The fabric was tight around their neck.

Whumpee closed their eyes and jumped.

Too loose. The knot fell apart, and instead of hanging a few feet off the ground, Whumpee fell the full height.

They didn’t have time to block their fall.

The crunch was sickening.

#lili loves whump #drabble #cw: suicide attempt #trope #creative writing #whump #oneshots #merry whumpmas #whumpmas 2023 #broken bones

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heniareth · 2 years

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@siriskulksnerding I've been thinking about your tags and about Zevran and self-sabotage. As far as I remember, I can count three instances in his life where self-sabotage has probably come into play pretty strongly. More under the cut and ⚠️CW⚠️ for: discussion of blood, injury, attempted suicide and murder.

In chronological order, I think the first case of some major self-sabotage is Rinna's death. That Zevran loved her is obvious from the way he talks about her in-game. That she loved him is implied by his retelling of her death. But apart from losing who he could've loved and been loved by, with whom he could've been happy, he's killed, I'd argue, the person who taught him what real love, trust and companionship was like. I'm working off of the premise here that Zevran already knows these things by the time he meets the Warden, knows that they exist, and that the Warden confirms to him that they're attainable and that he can have them rather than teach them about their existence. Building off of this post, I don't think Zevran learns about love and companionship from the Warden, because he very much recognizes when the Warden is treating him poorly. His two main companions during his time with the Crows (from the age of 12 onward no less I think) are Rinna and Taliesen, so either or both of those two have up until recently been his primary reference for what love and companionship is like. Because I doubt the Crow Masters pr other assassins would be so inclined as to show Zevran any love or companionship.

And this really hits the horror of Rinna's murder home, doesn't it? These three have been together for over a decade and more than half of their life. It's the three of them against the rest of the guild and the world; they have no one else to rely on. Killing Rinna is an act of incredible violence for Zevran and Taliesen, because they are literally killing one of the two people in this world they can trust. It's absolutely terrible! They're killing Rinna and tearing themselves apart in the process! And for Zevran it's even worse because he was arguably closer to Rinna than Taliesen was. She trusted him and he completely betrayed that trust. And here's where the self-sabotage comes in. Because while Zevran loved Rinna, he was also very scared of these feelings. So much so that he was up for killing her when the excuse presented himself. Of course he probably was also scared of the repercussions from the Crows if they didn't kill Rinna, but my point is that he didn't even try to hear her side of the story, that he laughed at her and told her he didn't care if she loved him, that he spat at her. He was doing absolutely despicable things to the woman he loved and trusted because he was terrified. To say he's messed up big time is an understatement, and if that's not the biggest act of self-sabotage I've ever seen, I don't know what it is.

Second, I think the next big case of self-sabotage is actually Zevran's recruitment by the Warden. Because it always struck me as odd that he would be jumping into the fray expecting to die in one moment and in the next practically sell himself for another chance at life. It might very well be that he had a change of heart; that he realized he didn't actually want to die, that the proverbial lightbulb lighted up and he realized that there was a way out of the Crows. But I think a case can be made for the hypothesis that this is another act of self-sabotage that turned out wonderfully right (if, y'know, the Warden actually treats him decently). I'd argue that him bartering for his life isn't a clever stroke of genius or a premetitated plan B, at least not at first. Think about it: the man was just unconscious. He has probably received a pretty heavy hit to the head, is maybe a bit concussed, and is taken totally off-guard by the fact that he's not dead. He has no time for premeditated plans or strokes of genius. I would argue that he's probably running on instinct in that moment, and his instinct is geared towards survival. That is, after all, what he's been doing all his life; getting through the Crow's training, fulfilling his contracts, getting better at his job, even killing Rinna all lead to his continued survival. For someone who wanted to die so bad as the lore suggests (and I'm going to take that at face value) he's very intent on wanting to make himself useful and not die. He even says it: "Being allowed to live would be nice, and would make me marginally more useful to you." And if I wanted to die and found myself in his situation, I would either be as insufferable and insulting to the leader as possible or attack right after they'd agreed to take me in. So I do think that the scene as it goes in the game is him talking before he has a chance to think this through, thus sabotaging his plan to die. At least the first back and forths are. After that he's had time to shake the worst of the brain fog from the hit off and might be able to lead the conversation more consciously. Note that this is self-sabotage only insofar as the drive to survive obstructs his plan; because his plan would result in his death, something arguably very bad, his urge to survive saves Zevran in this case just as readily as it condemned him and Rinna in the first example. Bottom line, Zevran has to stop letting the drive to survive have total control over his life

And the third big case of self-sabotage, or attempted self-sabotage as it turns out, is his reluctance to talk to the Warden about his feelings. Again it is fear that's holding him back; can he be trusted with a relationship considering what happened to Rinna? How will the Warden react once he tells them about her? And will the Warden even consider him, out of all people, for a relationship? We see how he confronts each of these fears through the course of his romance. When Taliesen appears, asking Zevran to come back with him to Antiva, telling him that they can kill the Warden and make up a story, it's like both of them discussing killing Rinna all over again. And Zevran refuses if he loves the Warden by that point. He breaks the cycle. This time it's not like with Rinna. He steps up and defends the Warden. Later, he tells the Warden about Rinna, and confronts that fear too. Depending on the Warden's response, the relationship goes on or breaks off, but he's confronted the situation. And, last, he asks the Warden if they could conceive of a future together ("the possibility of... I do not know what" T-T). Before that conversatiin, he was being skittish, deflecting questions, and outright lashing out because he was so very much at war with himself. He is doing his best not to sabotage this relationship as well and he just can't take it when the Warden probes him further. "Please, please stop prodding me, I'm already halfway to panicking because I'm finally confronting what has been keeping me safe for my whole life but is also choking every possibility of growth." And he gets through!! It's hard, it's awkward at times and terrifying at others, but he does it!!! He confronts his fears and the need to survive and shows them their proper places, and they'll no doubt rear their heads again but he's reined them in once, he can do it again. It's just... this is a success story, okay? This is man vs. himself and Zevran comes out top; scared, but free and alive, and it's beautiful. I love his story

#dragon age #dao #dragon age origins #zevran #zevran arainai #zevran meta #self sabotage #i have feelings about this man and his story #look at him!!!!! look at him and be proud bc he did it!!!!!!#cw: suicide #cw: suicide attempt #cw: blood #cw: death

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sergeantnarwhalwrites · 2 years

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Writing blurb (It doesn’t have a title)

Content warning: cw: gore, cw: suicide, cw: suicidal ideation, cw: suicidal thoughts. It’s important to this story so please don’t read if it’s triggering to you.

They paced incessantly, the clacking of heels approaching them. A soft squeak then sounded from the floor from both pairs of feet as they stared at one another.

“You know. I’d figure the insane multidimensional probabilities meant at least some version of me would prosper.” The look-alike stated, tapping their foot against the floor and yawning.

“Okay, and I have prospered.”

“All you’ve done is murder and lie. That’s not prospering.”

“Only losers have time to think like that. I found a way to keep myself surviving a little longer. Not my problem you don’t like it.”

“And it’s not my fault you still own that crusty bracelet your ex gave you either. Do you wear that shit while you execute innocents?”

Ms. Sentimental grumbled incoherently, the noise teetering on a growl.

“They’re not always innocent if that helps your conscience. They’re just as twisted and confusing as the rest of us.”

“Woah! Cause that alone is enough to shift my entire position. It’s a brand new world, I sympathize you so.”

The look-alike ran a finger beneath the bracelet, tugging nonchalantly at the rusting metal. Their eyes looking to a beige wall behind them, obviously in thought. A soft click sounding from their tongue as they brought their attention back to Ms. Sentimental.

“How did you get here so easily? This is a triple threat dimensional level.”

“I had a job to do.” Ms. Sentimental stated lifting their arm and wiping their nose against the sleeve.

The look-alike cringed seeing the snot trail it left behind, “You should probably handle that then. You’re negativity might taint the air or maybe that’s the not so lovely musk coming off of you,” They remarked, eyes glittering at their smart ass comment.

“You’re right. I wasted enough time.”

Ms. Sentimental turned their back to the look-alike and coughed aggressively. They inhaled deeply beginning to mutter beneath their breath as they proceeded away from the look-alike. A faint glow simmering beneath their eyes as hands tightly gripped onto pants pockets.

The look-alike crumbled to the ground. Gasping both for air and in pain as their eyes bulged and bled. Blood trickling to the adhesive tiles, lifting up slowly in hopes to be ripped off and discarded. The look-alike’s blood burned holes into the cheap tiles, a soft sizzle humming through their ears before they were fully out of earshot.

The look-alike finally hacked up a concoction of bile and food scraps they had scavenged as they layed curled into themself. In the pile, small fragments glittered, lying there still.

“Finally eliminated the target Joy?” A voice rang out from the mic taped to their chest.

“Yeah. You guys got the transmission right?”

“Of course. Please don’t underestimate my technology.” The voice paused, clearing their throat, “Thank you for doing this again.”

Joy, Ms. Sentimental, remained silent looking back at their look-alike as they massaged the freshly forming scars from the nanobot transfer.

“So the bots dispensed the termination code a bit early, luckliy it wasn’t noticed. How are you feeling?”

“Mentally or physically?”

The voice paused and noisily licked their lips.

“Both if you’d like Joy.”

“Mentally I want to kill the person that came up with this for punishment for a suicide attempt. Physically I can feel soreness overcoming my legs and the use of the nanobots is really aggravating whatever sickness is going on here.”

Joy shook their head, disgruntled as they chocked back a wet cough. They summoned the dirty bots back into the holding vessel, strapped meticulously to their back. Occasionally forcing her shirt to ride up their back.

“And they left more scars. It didn’t hurt as bad as last time though.”

“Well that’s good.” The voice chirped before sighing softly, “Yeah I’m not a fan of this punishment form either. Literally taunting someone craving death with images of various different versions of them dead. Most don’t make it past the first murder.”

“It’s not just that. It’s more than that. You know that.” Joy seethed as her legs began to feel like lead.

Their conversation was interrupted by a voice from the mic lodged into her ear. It murmured coordinates and dimensional threat levels, unbothered by the far more relevant conversation occurring before it’s disturbance.

“Hey I love science. You love science. And you hate being alive. Smash those things together and you find a solution to a lot of the predicaments.” The voice stated smoothly, like the line had been rehearsed in a grimey club mirror while inebriated.

“Gods you’re cocky. Why did I ever like you?” They grumbled jabbing their fingers into the tense calf muscles, aggressively rubbing it.

“Because you’re cocky too, when life doesn’t get the best of you.” The voice tapped on the mic and forced out a giggle.

“Biren shut up. I’m surviving through pure luck and spite now.” Joy further seethed growling fully irate as the tears began brimming.

“Joy if you die. You know they have the coordinates you’re at. They’ll work their little science magic and poof, you’ll be resurrected or forcibly made into a cyborg. They own you now.” Biren closed their eyes shut and swallowed hard.

“Yes.” Joy rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand.

“I’m sorry Joy.”

“Yeah. You’re a sorry ass person. I’m heading out now.” Joy muttered hobbling along to their transportation point to handle the next dimensional threat.

“Hey Joy?” Biren questioned hesitantly.

“What Biren?”

“How does it feel to kill… well yourself, so many times?”

“Sometimes it’s gratifying I can’t lie. To watch an idiot version of me face their demise. It never lasts long though. It was supposed to be me. Never them.”

“You’ll be back soon Joy.”

“You know it ‘ex’. Gotta start this shit over.” Joy clapped their hands together and laughed as her tears burned their eyes, “Now let’s get this shit done!”

#writeblr #random writes #product of the burst of inspiration a couple days ago #cw gore #cw: suicidal thoughts #cw: suicide attempt #cw: suicide

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redrobinhoods · 1 year

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the fruit of war | chapter four

AO3 Link | 3,000 words | Chapter 3, Chapter 5

Story Summary: The Clone Wars have begun. Riyo Chuchi is less than a year into her role as Senator for Pantora when the Coruscant Guard arrives and the war upheaves everything she knew. In a changing galaxy, Riyo strives to find her place in a deteriorating Senate as the men of the Coruscant Guard try to fill a role they were not prepared to take up.

CW: Suicide discussion/attempt in last scene of chapter. Stop reading at *** to avoid.

Stone sighed at the exchanged glances in the Republic Judiciary Central Detention Center guard station as he walked in. Chatterboxes indeed.

Captain Hart tried to hide the humor on his face as he gave Stone a nod as he approached.

“How goes integration?” Stone asked, looking down at the prison cells below. Among the grey armored guards were dots of white as his men moved around.

“Neither here nor there.” Hart answered. “Prisoners are a little cautious of us, sir. I doubt we’ll start to see their true colors for a while yet. I suggest we stick to, if not slow down, the integration of our men.”

Stone nodded. “Do what you think is right, Captain. I have half of Brass’ platoon and half of Caudron’s in shield training. You will receive all of Caudron’s platoon when they are done.”

“And the other half of the company?” Captain Hart asked.

“With your consent, I want to cycle them in for weeklong shifts. Only a few at a time. It will be good practice to have most of the riot squad on hand.”

“May I ask, sir, how many riots are you anticipating?”

Stone sighed, turning from the prison to his captain. “Many once the sieges start. Muunilinst is only the beginning. It’s going to be chaos for a while, but once the Seppies dig their heels in, it’s going to be a lot slower and much more painful. That’s when I anticipate riots. In the meantime, I want some of our riot squad to work under Commander Thorn on protection details. Even with the promotions finalized yesterday, too many of his squads were devastated on Geonosis. They need trained men to show them how to lead before the rookies show up.”

Hart mused over Stone’s words for a few moments. “Do we have a timeline for that?”

Stone shook his head. “A few weeks, maybe a couple months. We’re not exactly a priority for troopers right now.”

“They’ll be sending them right to the front lines.” Hart said, almost to himself.

“Isn’t that where we started?”

“Yes, sir, but, after Geonosis, I’m afraid I can’t help but think they’re being thrown into a meat grinder.”

Stone looked around the small room, the few men gathered there whose attention had turned back to their duties. “How much of your company did you lose?” He asked as if he didn’t know the numbers for every company of his legion, every platoon and squad.

“About half.” Hart answered with a sigh. “Even after all of our training, all the simulations, I don’t think Kamino can truly prepare our brothers for what they’re going to face.”

It was with a sinking heart that Stone answered. “I agree.”

Fox walked down the nearly empty halls of the Senate, a few heads turning to follow his path as he slowly made his way through the corridors. It was quiet this time of morning, before the maddening lunch rush or the occasional afternoon session in the rotunda. After a weekend in a near deserted building, it felt strange to see even the few beings in the hallways. Even so, he kept his gaze ahead. Thorn was waiting for him, after all.

“Commander.” A soft voice greeted as a set of beings whisked past.

“Senator.” He responded before he could register who it had been. When he turned his helmet, it was to see Senator Chuchi’s back as she continued down the hallway beside Senator Mothma.

Fox quickly turned back as he continued to walk, brow furrowing as he wondered if she had recognized him as himself or merely one of the three commanders in the Guard.

He found Thorn where he said he would be, by the shipping docks. With him was Lieutenant Kilo, turning in a tight circle as a helmetless Thorn inspected the armor he wore.

Fox took a seat on a crate near Thorn as he too looked Kilo over. So, this was the end to the stripes.

“Full delivery is being made to the barracks next week.” Thorn said without turning to look at Fox. “The Chancellor thought we’d start with the Senate offices. I figure after that we roll them out to the prison, then to the rest of the men.”

Fox looked over the armor, the dark red details that highlighted the waist, the shoulders, the legs. No signs of rank were attached. That would come in the form of pauldrons and kamas, that much he knew from observing the ARC troopers on Geonosis. He wondered if Thorn would don them once more. The ones he had worn on Geonosis had been too badly damaged for him to bring them to Coruscant.

“I like the red.”

Fox and Thorn turned as a yellow-painted man approached. When he stepped into the light Fox realized it was not yellow, but sunlit gold that crested his shoulders.

“Aren’t you supposed to be off dying in a ditch?” Thorn asked, his mouth twisting in a smirk.

“I’m afraid we’re behind schedule on that one.” Cody said as he stopped between the two men. “General Kenobi has some things to wrap up in the next few days with the Jedi Council. Then we’re off.”

“To where?” Fox asked.

Cody shrugged. “Wherever they need us.”

Fox took a moment to let his gaze roam over Cody’s armor, taking in the yellow stripes. “I like the gold. Did you get to pick?”

Cody shook his head, finally taking a seat on another crate. “It came in this morning. Plan is to outfit each legion as they come to Coruscant to restock gear. Hope you’re ready to play host.”

“Hope you keep your men in line.” Thorn said.

“Oh, my men won’t be the issue. Met with Captain Rex yesterday, seems like he’s got a lot of troublemakers.”

“Who is he assigned to?” Fox asked. Both he and Thorn remembered Rex from Kamino, Cody’s unusual friend. Though the same could be said of the friendship between two commanders and one ARC trooper.

“Commander Skywalker.”

“Kenobi’s padawan?”

“That’s the one.”

“Good luck!”

Cody snorted, taking off his helmet and resting it on his lap. “It’s going to be interesting.” His eyes roved over Kilo, taking in the armor. “They’ll send some paint too, with the armor. It’s to fix up chips in the paint, but,” he gestured towards his painted shoulders, “it has other purposes if you get bored.”

“Some of us have actual duties to fulfill.” Thorn snorted, though his eyes held on the bright additions.

“Like guarding the bar?” Cody shot back with a wry smile. “What’s it taste like?”

“Show up to the office at eighteen hundred and you can find out.” Thorn retorted.

Cody’s brows lowered as he thought it over. “I can do eighteen hundred.”

Fox swirled the beer in his hands, withholding a cringe whenever Thorn took a deep drink of the burning liquor in his cup. Whiskey, if Fox remembered correctly. The first drink they had been given to sample. Cody had tried a sip from each of their glasses and ended up with something else from Su’re. A ‘cocktail’, but not one of the same color Stone sipped from where he lounged at the bar, chatting with Su’re as she made drinks for the bar patrons.

“So, Stone.” Cody began, leaning forward from where he sat opposite the two men. “He and the bartender are… close?”

“Home run.” Thorn shot back with a grin.

Cody’s brows raised. “It’s your second week here.”

“Stone and Ponds were always the most well-adjusted of our batch.” Fox said with a wave of his drink.

Cody glanced over to Thorn, a grin tugging at his lips over the edge of his glass. “I’m still wondering how you got Fox of all men here without a fight.”

“Oh, he didn’t have the chance to fight.” Thorn said before knocking back the rest of his drink. “Besides, who else is going to babysit us?”

“And here I’ve heard you’ve become a mother hen yourself, Thorn. An ARC trooper taking on a heavily injured reg.”

“I didn’t walk away from Geonosis in one piece either, Cody.” Thorn pressed a hand to his side. “I couldn’t leave the kid to fumble. Besides, he’s much better behaved than Wolffe will ever be.”

Fox grinned as Cody laughed softly.

“How’s your arm?” Thorn asked.

Cody flexed the offender that had kept him from Geonosis. “Better. Completely healed. Still a bit sore when it gets cold, but that’ll pass in time. Your side?”

Thorn grimaced, catching Su’re’s eye and gaining a nod of acknowledgment. “I’m coping.”

“It’s disgusting.” Fox filled in. “I have half a mind to shower with the men.”

Thorn’s eyes flashed to Fox with a wry smile. “You’ll get yours one day. Besides, I have to look at your face, so we’re even.”

Cody’s laugh carried across the room.

Fox had never been close with Cody, their batch had tended to cluster into small groups, but there were few others he would have liked to be here with them tonight. All of the commanders had trained with the ARC troopers at one point, but none had fully embraced it as Cody had. Despite his calm demeanor, Fox knew first-hand the benefit of that training, Cody would never be considered disarmed unless his legs were restrained. Fox could still remember the bruise Cody had left on his chest years ago.

“Did you see Rex, on Geonosis?” Cody asked, bringing Fox’s attention back to the present.

Fox answered. “Not during the battle, but yes. He did well. Did he tell you he earned jaig eyes?”

Cody blinked once in surprise. “No, he failed to mention that yesterday. How did he earn them?”

“Hell if I know. Make sure he actually puts them on his helmet though, it’d be just like him to ‘forget’ to do so.”

“Oh, I will.” Cody promised.

“And you,” Thorn cut in, taking a sip of the new drink Su’re had placed before him during their conversation, “will you finally wear a kama?”

Cody took a deep sip of his drink in answer.

“Cody!” Fox exclaimed.

“It’s too restricting.” Cody protested.

“You’ve earned it, all your batchmates did.” Thorn leaned forward on the table. “Or do you want everyone in your legion to know about Commander Thunder Thighs?”

Fox choked on his drink.

Cody looked as if he’d blush. “I’d hoped you’d all forgotten about that.”

“My rib has never been the same.” Fox sighed as he tried to regain control of his breathing, holding a hand to the spot Cody had kicked him.

“You exaggerate.”

“You could decapitate a droid with that kick.”

“Maybe I’ll try.”

“Good to know none of us have forgotten about Thunder Thighs.” Stone said as he slid into the booth beside Cody.

Cody’s answering glare could have rivalled Wolffe’s own.

***

Thire rolled over on his bunk with a groan, his body protesting at the movement. A month. It had been one month since Geonosis, since the first bacta treatments, and nothing. Sleep remained elusive and fitful, but the pain was not what had awoken him tonight.

He fought back another groan as he sat up, tossing off the blanket and reaching for the crutches beside his bed. He didn’t dare go far without them, not when last week he had gotten up to get caf for himself and Thorn and found himself too exhausted to make the short walk back to Thorn’s office from the main space. Not when he didn’t have the strength to stand for even the shortest shower.

Though the barracks were labyrinthine, in the silence of the night it was not hard to find the source of the muffled crying. Thire halted as he turned the corner to see a trooper sitting alone amongst a row of bunks, a blaster in his hand.

The trooper started as Thire appeared, his knuckles white as he clenched the blaster as if he feared Thire would lunge for it.

“May I sit?” Thire asked simply.

The man nodded. His hand was white as death when Thire took a seat beside him on the small bunk. “Don’t try to stop me, Lieutenant.”

“I’m not going to stop you.” Thire said as he leaned his crutches against the wall, drawing his legs up onto the bed so that he could lean against the side of the alcove. He let his gaze fall on the blaster in his brother’s hand. “You’d be quicker anyways.”

The clone pulled the blaster away, pressing it to the side of his head. “Don’t.”

“I won’t.” Thire let his head fall against the wall as he folded his hands together in his lap. “But I want to know your name. And I want to know why.”

“Scout. That’s why. I was scouting ahead. I wasn’t with them when-” the man’s voice broke as his hand shook. “I lost everyone.”

Thire looked down at his hands, running his thumbnail under those of his other fingers. “You know what happens if you fail, right?”

Scout watched him warily before answering. “No.”

“You can’t change your mind. They’ll decommission you as defective goods. Hell, if anyone outside of the two of us finds out about this and reports you, you’ll be decommissioned nonetheless.”

The tears began falling afresh down Scout’s cheeks. “You’re lying.”

Thire continued to run his nails together as he looked up to meet Scout’s gaze. “Remember the ones on Kamino who went away and never came back? Whole batches sometimes, gone overnight.” He leaned forward. “They try to recommission first if they think the problem can be fixed. But if they don’t, and they can’t fix it, there’s a little grey vial. The needle goes right here,” he tapped his forearm, “and you just fall asleep. Most of the time. I’ve seen some go wrong, when they were conscious through it. When they fought.”

Scout’s hand began to shake.

“Do you think you’re a good shot?”

The blaster fell to Scout’s side as he brought his other hand up to cover his face, fighting down a sob.

Thire reached over to place a hand on Scout’s shoulder. “Give me the blaster.”

“Fuck off.”

“Give it to me.”

Scout shoved the blaster into Thire’s waiting hand as his shoulders shook.

Thire flipped the safety on before shoving the blaster behind him and placing the now empty hand on Scout’s back. They sat there in silence until Scout’s shoulders stilled and he lifted his head to meet Thire’s gaze, silent tears still running down his cheeks. “Do you think it gets better?”

Thire spoke truly before considering his words. “I don’t.” Then he paused and added. “I think we will learn how to live with our losses, but I don’t know if it will ever hurt less.”

Scout wiped the tears from his face with one hand as he took in the look on Thire’s face. “You were medic track, weren’t you.” When Thire nodded, Scout continued the thought. “You watched it happen.”

“I refused to administer anything.”

“But you watched.”

Thire fought to continue to meet Scout’s gaze. “Yes.”

“They kill us. They actually kill us.” Scout shook his head with a sad laugh. “I thought it was just made up to keep the little ones in line.”

“Why should they care, they don’t see us as sentient beings.” Thire waved his hand. “Not advancing fast enough, cull. Feel any emotions they deem unsuitable, cull. Not recover quick enough from an injury,” Thire laughed, “cull.”

Scout’s brows knit together. “Are you…?”

“I’ve got one week to make significant progress where I’ve made little to none in the past month. I’m practically dead already, just waiting for the blade to fall.”

Scout sighed and threw his legs up onto the bed, leaning back against the wall to face Thire. “How do you keep going?”

“I don’t know.” Thire admitted. “I try not to think about it. We were made to die, I suppose. This is just a little sooner than I’d hoped.”

Silence fell between them for a few moments before Scout asked, “if I had tried to pull the trigger, would you have stopped me?”

“No. It’d be a small miracle if you could anyways, they bred or conditioned it out of us. Something in our youth. It’s nearly impossible. Besides, why have us make a mess when they can just kill us anyways?”

Scout chucked. “Fair enough. Everything has to be clean.”

“Absolutely sterile.”

“If the Kaminoans could see the state of our showers after just one week…”

“Heart attack on sight.” Thire agreed.

Scout glanced towards Thire’s side. “Are you going to give me back my blaster now?”

“No, you can get it back in the morning. I still outrank you.”

“And here I thought we were becoming friends, sharing all of our deepest secrets and all that.”

“If we’re friends, you’re definitely not getting it back.” Thire rose from the bed with a groan, reaching for his crutches. “Stay here, I’ll be back.”

When Thire returned a few minutes later, it was with one crutch and his pillow and blanket tucked under an arm. He threw them on the bed opposite Scout’s before laying down.

“Do I need a supervisor?” Scout asked as he curled up under his own blanket.

“You said it yourself, you need a friend.”

Scout’s expression was unreadable in the dim light.

Thire waited for his brother to fall asleep before he himself followed, thinking through what he was to ask of Thorn.

Chapter Five

#foxiyo #commander fox #commander thorn #commander cody #commander stone #commander thire #cw: suicide attempt #my fics #the fruit of war fic

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bardic-tales · 2 years

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Word Search Tags

I have a few of these, so I'm going to lump them into one long post.

Thanks so much for the tag, @bookish-galaxy.

My words are steam, river, travel, might, and worry.

Stream (Pale Fire)

Anabelle stared out over the lake to the waterfall on the other side. The water tumbled off the cliff above them, streaming down the rockface, and into the pool at the bottom.'

river

Travel Left (Pale Fire)

All I ever wanted to do was find the one who spoke to my soul, Anabelle Vasser thought as she turned the wheel. How many years had it been since she meet him in Tokus? Six or Seven? Anabelle really couldn't say. She had been shouldering the pain ever since she left the Eastern Kingdoms all those years ago.

Might (Pale Fire)

"I wasn't your enemy then," Seamus admitted. "I was a Shadow Blade. Who knows, if you hadn't left me standing there, I might still be. That doesn't matter anyway. The Council betrayed me. It wasn't any other way than that. My own brother, the one that was with me in the Eastern Kingdoms, shot me in the back."

Worry (Pale Fire)

When she met his gaze, she searched his eyes. The fury left him. What she saw left her breathless. Through all the pain, all the years separating them, Anabelle saw the young man she knew in Tokus: the worry for her pierced her heart. Moisture wet her cheeks. He could tell the sorrow lacing her every action, and he could recognize it as he felt the same guilt pressing down upon his shoulders. This was the only thing Anabelle was sure of.

Thank you so much for tagging me, @aohendo.

My words are: nod, lamp, pool, shove, and stare.

Nod (Pale Fire) cw: language

two lines for context

"Do you have two estates?" she teased. Shae raised an eyebrow, and she nodded. "Fuck me, does that mean I get them if we get married? Would that make me a lord or something?"

lamp

Pool (Pale Fire)

Anabelle bent over, plucked the fish from the pool, and stood. She wondered if the toxin would have spread through to the surrounding meat. If it did, the fish would be ruined. Shae wouldn't allow her to hear the end of it. That was the type of relationship fostering between them.

Shove Push (Pale Fire) cw: suicide attempt

She didn't answer. She swung her foot up, kicking the Glorendine in the groin hard enough to make him double over. It was the window she needed, and she bolted through the opening, pushing past him. She leaped, and she was falling through the crisp, dusky air. In the next moment, it was as if a million icy knives all stabbed at every inch of her flesh all at once. The wind was knocked out of her as she immediately fell unconscious from the shock.

stare (Pale Fire)

two lines for context

"Shae . . ." Annabelle rasped. She cowered down into the small bed and furs. Her stare never left him. Anabelle never forgot the man who set her soul on fire. His broad shoulders and back etched themselves within her memories. She knew every line and every scar. Her fingers once traced those deep faded gouges, but she didn't see his scars as flaws. Every imperfection made up who Seamus Jorinuson was.

One-Shot Stories Tag List

@asomeoneperson @jessica-writes22 @athenswrites @elijahrichardwriteshrichardwrites @whimsyqueen @arrthurpendragon @blind-the-winds, @fearofahumanplanet, @365runesofpassion @midnight-and-his-melodiverse @bookish-galaxy

If you would like to be on my tag list for notifications on any drabbles, short stories, or snippets I might post to my Tumblr, check out this post here. If you wish to be taken off this taglist, feel free to tell me!

#cw: language #cw: suicide attempt #oc: anabelle vasser #oc: shae jorinuson #wip: pale fire #tumblr games #word find tag

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dirty-rave-trannies-united · 1 year

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TW/CW Trauma, Abuse, Suicide Attempt, Military

It's interesting to me how many people say that the pandemic cracked their egg, or that a particular piece of media cracked their egg. While my egg cracked during the pandemic, it wasn't the pandemic what cracked me. I was enlisted, so I was still working.

But at some point, traumas caught up with me. Traumas caught up with me, traumas from childhood (physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive father; wonder why I enlisted; more of the same, chasing familiar cycles, eh?), traumas from early adulthood, traumas from a few months prior... And the cptsd came in full force. Three attempted suicides later, and the military finally decided I did need some serious help. It was during a couple months of partial hospitalization, during a session of group therapy, that my egg cracked and I finally faced my transfeminity.

So where are the people whose egg cracked from trauma processing? From having to face and heal through your deepest hurts? And in having to heal through such fester, you were finally able to see yourself for who you truly are?

P.S. Fuck the military. Fuck the war crime machine that pulls people like me into it. Fuck the military industrial complex that is a large contributor to high college education costs and a reason we don't have universal healthcare. Because if people go to school tuition-free, and have access to universal healthcare, how are we going to trap people who need access to such things within our imperialist war crime machine? How are we going to replace the government issued cogs in our military industrial complex? If there are no poor folk to spread american capitalist imperialism, how ever will the wealthy line their pockets further???

#cw: trauma #cw: abuse #cw: suicide attempt #cw: military #transgender #trans #transfemme #nonbinary #androgynous #genderfluid #arospec #lgbtq+#veteran #vet

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thotforcsy · 2 years

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we are transparent (so fill me in with all your colours)

(♡) fandom: x1, pdx (♡) pairing: seungyoun/seungwoo (♡) rating: explicit (♡) 18,340 words (♡) complete (1/1)

When Seungwoo is thirteen, he moves to Seoul. It's a hotbed of ambition and cutthroat competition, and anyone who can't carve out a place here doesn't survive.

He will not be left behind.

(In which Seungwoo dreams of becoming an idol, meets the expressive and energetic Cho Seungyoun, and grows up far too quickly.)

cw: severe depression, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt

link

#ryeonseung #c: han seungwoo #c: cho seungyoun #x1 #pdx #x1 fic #s: ryeonseung #pseud: flying_dream #jasmine's pdx fics #ao3 link #canon divergence #childhood friends to lovers #heavy angst #angst with a happy ending #cw: depression #cw: suicide attempt

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sad-leon · 5 months

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TW Suicide Attempt

we all talk about him portal chopping an arm off but,,, it would be so easy. so quick

KoFi || Patreon

#sad•leonart #really putting the sad in sad-leon recently lasdjalsdf #tw suicide attempt #cw suicide attempt #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise leo #this is older but i figured i'd share #i have literally nothing else #tsob epilogue is still a wip and my other big things i gotta make are secret santa gifts #also in true tsob fashion #i keep thinking of animatic ideas while doing lineart #idk when i'll post this but im not giving up yet #i have more people i wanna meet #almost posted this yesterday but. didnt wanna ruin the vibes.#sorry for being so depressing but also people seem to like when i post the sad blue turtle so. yeah

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rbtlvr · 7 months

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(text from this post, fic is little kid with a big death wish by @remedyturtles)

i'm genuinely not sure where to start here - ig first of all this fic is absolutely incredible and if you somehow haven't read it yet you absolutely should!

okay. man. rem, this fic means so so much to me and i'm so glad i got to be here for it. i think this is one of those fics that'll stick with me years down the line even if one day i'm not into tmnt anymore, one i'll come back to over and over again

your writing has touched so so many people myself very much included, and i just. want to thank you so much for writing this fic and thank you for sharing it. you're an amazing writer and an amazing person and i'm lucky to know you. i can't wait to see what you do next

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #tmnt #little kid with a big death wish #my art #forgor all my tags its ok ill come back later <3 anyway #god theres legit so so so much more i wanted to say but i cant get. the words right augh #i kinda tried to put some of it in the comic though so. yeah. the emotions anyway #idk idk i just have a Lot of feelings abt this fic and how real it feels and just . man. it hits so so hard /pos #just... the fact that dw leo has been through everything he has and is capable of recovery and living. even if he doesnt want to live just #yet. hes getting there. makes me feel like i can too as cheesy as that sounds lajfd;lajlfkl #anyway ive rambled enough i spent ten (10) full days on this comic i am setting it loose into the world. be free #suicide attempt cw #dissociation cw #<- just to be safe. ask to tag if theres anything else lafj;dljsafkl

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grendel-menz · 1 year

Photo

optimistic from now on

#art #my art #comic #poetry #visual poetry #words #diary #journal #ancestors #reflection #pessimism #cw suicide attempt discussion

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reasonsforhope · 9 months

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"When Ghana’s parliament voted to decriminalise suicide and attempted suicide in March, Prof Joseph Osafo felt a weight lift from his shoulders.

Osafo, head of psychology at the University of Ghana, had been engaged in a near 20-year battle to abolish the law – brought in by the British – which stated that anyone who attempts suicide should face imprisonment or a fine.

“It was a very good feeling. I felt like a certain burden had been removed. I was extremely elated,” he remembers. “Then the next morning, I realised we had a lot of work to do.”

Four countries decriminalised suicide in just the past year

Ghana is one of four countries to have decriminalised suicide in the past year – Malaysia, Guyana and Pakistan are the others. More could soon follow, which campaigners say is a sign of greater awareness and understanding of mental health. Kenya and Uganda have filed petitions to overturn laws and members of the UN group of Small Island Developing States have committed to decriminalise. Discussions are also being held in Nigeria and Bangladesh.

“There seems to be a domino effect taking place,” says Muhammad Ali Hasnain, a barrister from United for Global Mental Health, a group calling for decriminalisation. “As one country decriminalises suicide, others start to follow suit.”

“It is quite unusual,” adds Sarah Kline, the organisation’s chief executive. “It’s a huge sign of progress and an important step forward for the populations most at risk, as well as the countries as a whole.” ...

A large number of laws were introduced by the British during colonial rule. Suicide was decriminalised in England, Wales and Northern Ireland in the 1960s – it was never criminalised in Scotland...

The results of these punishments can be “devastating” and present “a huge barrier” to addressing the problem, says Natalie Drew, a technical officer with the mental health policy and service development team at the World Health Organization. Health experts and advocates argue that suicide should be treated as a public health issue rather than a crime.

Criminalising suicide denies people the right to access health services and discriminates against them because of something they’re experiencing, Drew adds. Research shows that in countries where suicide has been decriminalised, people can seek help for mental health and rates tend to then decline.

Next Steps

In September, the WHO is due to release a guide on decriminalising suicide for policymakers, with explanations of how countries have managed it...

“[Ghana’s decision] should have an impact on the work ongoing in other countries, especially in the Africa region,” says Osafo. Within the past couple of months, he has set up a mental health working group with representatives from about 20 African countries, and one of the biggest issues on the agenda is decriminalisation of suicide, he says. “Nigeria is active, Cameroon is active … Kenya has joined and is doing fantastic work. We have Uganda. People have been asking us how we did it.”

Since suicide was decriminalised in Malaysia last month, Anita Abu Bakar, founder and president of the Mental Illness Awareness and Support Association (Miasa), has already seen things change. Crisis response teams and helplines are expanding, and money from the mental health budget is being given to organisations who work in the community. “This is the shift we’re so happy to see,” she says. “It was such an archaic law.”

She adds: “I’m a person with lived experience. What does decriminalisation mean to people like me? We feel supported, we feel this conversation can go to a different level. Obviously decriminalisation is not the only way to prevent suicide, but it’s a big one. I’m happy for this progressive move – better late than never. I’m excited to see what happens next, not just for Malaysia but for the rest of us.”"

-via The Guardian, July 20, 2023

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