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valent1neg0d · 4 months

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THINGS I WISH I KNEW WHEN I WAS GETTING STARTED WITH THE LAW OF ASSUMPTION (AS SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN MANIFESTING FOR 5 YEARS)

1. the law of assumption is personal. considering how we have different sets of experiences, different environments, different upbringings, and even different languages, we have different assumptions.

because of this, we are affected by teachings and success stories differently. it's important to note this since a lot of manifestation coaches will teach you about the law in a way that worked for them (and the others they may have taught) but it's possible that their advice (even my own) may not be the best for you. even abdullah and neville goddard, two of the people who are known to start this discipline, may have ancient or varied belief systems and techniques. this is normal considering the world they lived in before is different from the world we live in now.

although, you should still read on abdullah and neville because they will teach you the basics and they will help you understand the foundations of the law.

as an example, you might manifest your dream career faster with simple affirmation techniques but a coach may have taught you to focus on visualization techniques.

even the idea that "dominant THOUGHTS manifest" or "what you BELIEVE in manifests" is entirely up to you.

note: notice how i said "may not be the best for you" instead of "may not work for you". any technique can, does, and will work.

how i learned this: when i was learning about the law, i mainly focused on neville's teachings because he was one of the most prominent figures in the practice. and though i liked his practical techniques (especially mental diet and inner conversations), there were some beliefs that i do not agree with e.g. divine timing, appointed hour, avoiding "does not" "is not" "will not".

when i was going through sammy ingrams' takes, she said that it's better to have concise affirmations/short list (non-verbatim) than a long list of 25+ affirmations. but going through affirmations without being specific about them doesn't personally resonate with me and that's just because i'm a detail-oriented person (also a writer).

what i can advise:

learn about different approaches

a. through scientific concepts. e.g. quantum physics, reticular activating system, cognitive reframing, cognitive behavioral therapy, the psychology of placebo effect, the psychology of affirmations, Baader-Meinhof phenomenon (a.k.a. the psychology of self-fulfilling prophecy)

b. through religious and/or spiritual concepts. e.g. passages from the Bible, passages from the Quran, deity work, spells and rituals

c. through self-development. e.g. identity-based habit

start the practice with an identity you like in the present or an identity that you resonate with (learning style, talents, interests, etc.)

examples:

-visual learner = vision boards

-loves writing = scripting

-words of affection love language = affirmations

take teachings with a grain of salt. do not limit yourself and do not allow other people to limit you. experiment with concepts, ideas, and techniques, and have fun with them.

2. techniques are only reminders. you are manifesting either by thinking, feeling, or acting out your desires. you are manifesting every second of the day either with your thoughts, emotions, or by embodying a state. you are only being intentional when you anchor techniques.

note: it is true that your dominant thoughts manifest. it is also true that what you believe in manifests, the same way that your inner knowing manifests. BUT these ideas are meant to empower you. they are meant to remind you that manifestation is as easy as thinking, feeling, acting, believing, understanding, deciding, etc. if an idea doesn't feel good to you, it doesn't have to be an ultimate truth you embrace and carry on with. this is the same with techniques.

what i can advise:

choose one technique and practice it for 7 to 21 days. it can be mental diet, affirmation tapes, sats, mind movies, etc. as long as you can persist with it. give it time. give it time. give it time. in other aspects of the world, you give change some time. when you're calcium deficient and you decide to drink calcium supplements, you realize that it's counterproductive to ask "why am i still calcium deficient?" as soon as you start your regimen because you know your body is changing with the supplement and you put your trust into it. after all, why would you choose a supplement you have no faith on? you just give it time.

note: you can still manifest changes to be instant. you can affirm "i am seeing results now", "results come immediately", "my manifestation is quick". the amount of time you're using a technique does not equate to the amount of time your results will come.

the reason why i encourage you to practice for maximum 21 days is so you can fully explore and master the technique you chose. with the abundance of topics and methods discussed in social media, switching and trying new things is tempting. now, there is nothing wrong with this. it's just that, you wouldn't be able to take a step back and reflect on what worked and what takes more effort when you change techniques every so often.

try a technique that is popularized in the media. a lot of the times, the reason why this technique gained traction is either because it's simple or because it has worked for a lot of people. now, here's the thing: if said technique wasn't for you, at least you can say "oh this is a tiktok/twitter/youtube/old/beginner technique, there are other techniques out there" and you can try another technique with less resistance. but, if it did work, then it did. congratulations.

you can invent your own. here are some techniques that i invented throughout the years.

a. "name is set and solid with the fact that..." - works amazing for sp, getting people to commit, getting people to pursue you

b. "okay! manifestation powers go brrr!" - funny but i do this when I'm spiraling; it also helps me surrender doubts and i think it's because it's so simple and unserious lmao

you can combine them. for example, you want to do sats but you cannot hold a vision for long, what you can do is montage photos or videos that is similar to the vision you want to manifest. you can also have affirmation tapes running in the background.

3. "concept" work can be such a banger. assumptions are basically the conception about the world, about yourself, about the people around you. hence, when you manifest and apply the law of assumption, you change or reinforce a conception.

these can be done through:

self-concept

what it is: your awareness about yourself; the way you perceive yourself.

how you can apply it: there are multiple ways to establish your self-concept but the best way, is to start reinforcing the universal truth: that you are inherently worthy. you deserve money and resources because you are worthy. you deserve love because you are worthy. you deserve ease because you are worthy.

other ways to grow your self-concept is celebrating the identities you have within yourself that you like e.g. that you are strong, you are disciplined, you are beautiful. be careful about strongly tying yourself into these identities though because these are not the reasons why you shall receive. again, you shall receive because you are inherently worthy.

why it works: by having a strong self-concept, you develop ease. you are less likely to rationalize or question the law or why you deserve the things you're asking for. and as you may think, rationalizing may be a form of resistance. questioning may be a form of resistance.

one of the ways i have seen this is when people receive incentives from work, instead of just receiving or saying "thank you", they say things like "what have i done to receive this?", sometimes completely rejecting this gift because of fear that they might lose something when they receive. this can be an example of a weak self-concept. consequently, the company starts questioning "did my employer really do enough to receive this?".

on the other hand, someone with a strong self-concept can take this incentive and buy the things they like because they know they deserve it. they can also take this incentive and say to themselves "oh it's because i worked hard these past few days". it's the knowing and confidence they have within themselves that everything around them has no other option but to recognize.

conception of other things (e.g. of love, of money, of a specific person)

you can work on your conception of other things the same way you work on your self-concept: choosing a narrative that is uplifting to you.

in case you have resistance to a specific object, you can also listen to people's success stories to start shifting to a more positive and desirable perception. one of the ways i do this is by going back to abdullah and neville's story. these two men lived at difficult times, through difficult eras, yet they manifested their desires. they managed to let go of the 3D.

4. practice some distance as you're starting. you were exposed to a different life before the law, it's only normal and human to have doubts or spiral once in a while. however, when you set distance on things that do not help you embody the state, you set distance on things that will feed your doubts and spiraling.

for example, if you're shifting to a state of wealth and you're affirming "i have 1,000 dollars". it's unhelpful and opposing to be constantly surrounded by someone else saying "you only have 10 dollars".

now, i do understand that not everyone can do this right away because of circumstances. but PLEASE do whatever you can to set this distance. find a voice to reinstate your truth.

a personal story, i am an asian girl living with a grandmother who was pessimistic about love because her two children (my mom and my aunt) struggled with it. because of this, she used to constantly remind me of how love is difficult. i didn't know this at the time, but this created a set of beliefs in my head. consequently, as a teenager, i only seeked and allowed love which was difficult because that was all i've ever known. that was all my assumption.

but around the pandemic, i went back to the countryside with my dad where i had a lot of time on my own. this was when i got deep into new-age spirituality and did shadow work. from here, i realized: this is not my assumption about love. before my parents broke up, my assumption was that love is easy. you only have to make the other person laugh. when i was busy in school and would spend most of the time at my friend's house, my assumption was that love is support and light. i started to get these epiphanies that a lot of my pessimistic perception was because of someone i was constantly surrounded with and that i have to build new assumptions.

but around august 2020, i have to go back to the city with my grandmom. i was afraid of the toll i might get into when i got back. however, because i already practiced distance and understood what are the assumptions that serve me, what are the assumptions that i want, i was more at peace. i listed down affirmations about myself, about love, about money, about being "deserving".

after this, every time she told me what love was, i can stop her and say no. i can tell her that it's not the universal truth, and certainly not mine. along the way, i started manifesting that she believes love is easy and supportive. i started manifesting that she believes i deserve love that is soft and tender.

then, when i got into my relationship, she was nothing but happy and supportive.

other ways i have practiced distance while manifesting:

unfollowing content creators who normalized hating men.

unfollowing content creators who were shady and negative about relationships.

unfriending highschool guy friends who do not make me feel safe about men.

unfriending relatives who make unnecessary comments about my looks, my studies, my relationship, and my earnings.

unfollowing girls who made me feel bad about also liking girls.

unfollowing manifestation gurus who romanticize struggles because "the more you struggle, the more you get blessed"

unfollowing manifestation gurus who say stuff like "if you want money, you have to take action to deserve it. not just manifesting"

now, you can totally manifest these people to change and be better, as long as it will make you feel good.

that's all i can share today (since this post is already getting long). i hope you learned a thing or two. thank you so much for reading. i love you and i appreciate you !

#law of assumption #loassumption #loa tumblr #loa blog #neville goddard #living in the end #loass #loassblog #manifestation #manifesting #affirmations #visualization #self concept

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ceyhanmedya · 2 years

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What is cognitive behavioral therapy?

New Post has been published on https://bankakredin.com/what-is-cognitive-behavioral-therapy/

What is cognitive behavioral therapy?

Cognitive behavioral therapy, a form of psychotherapy, is largely based on the idea that your thoughts, feelings, and actions are connected. In other words, the way you think and feel about something affects what you do.

For example, if you are under a lot of stress at work, you may view situations differently and make choices you would not normally make, but another key concept of CBT is that these thought and behavioral patterns can be changed. According to this idea, psychological problems are partly based on unhelpful ways of thinking and partly on learned behavior patterns. Those living with these problems can recover with better coping mechanisms and management to help relieve their symptoms.

Thought and behavior cycle

False or negative perceptions or thoughts contribute to emotional distress and mental health problems. These thoughts and the resulting distress sometimes lead to unhelpful or harmful behavior. Eventually, these thoughts and resulting behaviors can become a repeating pattern. Learning how to address and change these patterns can help you deal with issues that arise, which can help reduce future frustrations.

What are cognitive behavioral therapy methods?

So, how should one proceed to rework these patterns? This question cannot be answered by a single method. Choosing the most suitable one out of the many methods that may work also gives you space to personalize the therapy. Some of these methods are:

Recognizing how wrong thinking can make problems worse

Learning new problem-solving skills

Gaining confidence and better understanding and appreciation of your self-worth

Learning how to face fears and challenges

Using role-playing and calming techniques when faced with potentially challenging situations

The goal of all these techniques is to replace useless or self-defeating thoughts with more encouraging and realistic ones. For example, instead of “I will never have a lasting relationship,” say, “None of my previous relationships have lasted very long. Rethinking what I really need from a partner can help me find someone I will be compatible with in the long run.” Having the thought can make quite a difference.

So how?

There are several different ways to change this flow of thought:

Creating smarter goals: Creating specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-limited goals can make them easier to achieve.

Guided exploration and questioning: By questioning assumptions you hold about yourself or your current situation, your therapist can help you learn to challenge these thoughts and reflect on different perspectives.

Journaling: It can be helpful to note down the negative beliefs that emerged during the week and the positive ones you can replace them with.

Self-talk: Your therapist may ask yourself what you are saying about a particular situation or experience and may force you to replace negative or critical self-talk with compassionate, constructive self-talk.

Cognitive restructuring: This involves looking at any cognitive distortions that are affecting your thinking (such as black-and-white thinking, conclusions, or catastrophes) and begin to resolve them.

Thought recording: In this technique, you will record thoughts and feelings experienced during a particular situation, then find neutral evidence supporting and countering your negative belief. You can use this evidence to develop more realistic thinking.

Positive activities: Planning a rewarding activity each day can help increase overall positivity and improve your mood. Examples include buying yourself fresh flowers or fruit, watching your favorite movie, or having a picnic lunch in the park.

Situation exposure: This involves listing situations or things that cause distress by the level of distress they cause, and slowly exposing yourself to those things until they lead to fewer negative emotions. Systematic desensitization is a similar technique where you will learn relaxation techniques to help you deal with your emotions in a difficult situation.

Homework is another important part of CBT, regardless of the techniques you use. School assignments can help you practice and develop the skills you learned in class.

What can cognitive behavioral therapy help with?

These therapy techniques can help with many mental problems, from depression to eating disorders, from post-traumatic stress disorder to panic attacks, but they do not necessarily have to be a mental disorder. These techniques can provide a more peaceful life in many issues such as relationship problems, separations, the grieving process and general life stress.

Just one of many options

While cognitive behavioral therapy can be helpful for many people, it doesn’t work for everyone. You may need some time to find out which of the many different subtypes is right for you, such as psychodynamic therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, or to give other methods such as psychoanalysis a chance. In general, if you want to focus on current problems rather than past experiences, cognitive behavioral therapy may be more ideal for you.

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carionto · 5 months

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The Equality Games

Once every now and then, the Galactic Coalition's Cultural Exchange department holds a large digital competitive event.

Anyone can participate, and to level the playing field, contestants aren't the ones who actually compete, but instead an advanced deep brain scan (or equivalent body part) and an unbiased AI create a digital avatar that represents the individual and autonomously acts within the digital space.

The cognitive capacity of each is analyzed to a near perfect level and a highly complicated algorithm that, honestly, nobody understands, even the AI that built it, then creates this avatar with traits and weaknesses based on an even more incomprehensible set of criteria and internal points system.

To put it simply - the scan identifies nearly every calculable aspect of a person and assigns a point value for each, then uses those points to "buy" the most relevant and appropriate traits from within its list to give the avatar. There are changing costs, negative value "flaws", and prerequisites based on other information from the scan, but basically it is the most convoluted TTRPG character creation ruleset ever devised.

Given the enormous complexity and diversity that individuals from across thousands of races exhibit, until this system was invented, it was thought impossible to have a sort of intergalactic Olympic Games. There were many attempts over the eons, of course, but one factor or another always made it so that someone did not accept the results.

The Equality Games, however, earned respect and acceptance as a valid alternative once the underlying system was demonstrated and people started to play with it. The avatars were made to act autonomously due to how some species had a distinct advantage when manipulating a digital interface, thus bringing up the old arguments yet again.

One curious result of the AI algorithm avatar generator is that it quite frequently created multiple avatars for each person, only the more hive-mind-like species tended to be represented by a singular avatar within the Games. It is theorized, again because nobody can understand how it really works, that most intelligent beings have multiple "personas" i.e. distinct behavior and personalities in certain common situations, primarily a "public" and "private" persona.

In fact, it is most common for everyone to generate about a three to five avatar "team" that represents the one individual. In comparison, if an ant were to get scanned and put in the games, its avatar would be a single incredibly powerful avatar with many deficiencies, but an overwhelming advantage in several disciplines.

When Humans first entered the Games, as expected, they too had teams as avatars. What was not expected, was that these avatars would sometimes work alone instead of together as a team, deliberately not help one another, and even engage in infighting and the sabotage of another "self".

The Humans suggested that it is perhaps because hypocrisy is not uncommon among them. Self destructive tendencies also appear rather frequently. These Humans almost always are themselves surprised by how contradictory their avatar team composition ends up being.

While the Games themselves happened as normal, the Humans overall placed in the top 20% brackets of most competitive challenges, and scattered roughly evenly everywhere else, they then approached us with a most unusual request.

"Give us a copy of this AI algorithm scanner thing. We think this is the most revolutionary therapy and psychological diagnosis device we've come across."

Of course we obliged and helped set up centers in a number of stations and on Earth itself.

Last we heard, some Humans have avatars that are singular nigh-nightmarish monstrosities, while a very tiny fraction have minds so splintered that their avatars are teams of dozens, one time even over a hundred distinct versions of themselves. Then there are even some seemingly regular Humans who broke the scanner - it gave the error: "Only one individual can be scanned at a time."

Upon "fixing" it with a hack, the results for those were unheard of. Two distinct avatars. Not a team of two, but by all accounts, the AI algorithm identified two separate individuals within one mind, each with very little in common with the other. Sometimes there was nothing in common, even their digital visual representation.

The mind is incredibly complex and hard to comprehend. The Human mind, while biologically quite peculiar but not outside the realms of understood evolution, neurologically it seems to hold near limitless diversity, both complimentary, contradictory, and beyond.

#humans are space orcs #humans are space australians #humans are space oddities #humans are deathworlders #humanity fuck yeah #carionto

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cassandrasimplex · 8 months

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Listen, when I say, as an abuse survivor, that Astarion's storyline is written with care, delicacy, and profound understanding: Since I completed it a few days ago, which I found incredibly cathartic and fulfilling due to points of commonality with the nature and causes of my CPTSD, I've been sleeping 7-8 hours a night straight through (instead of 3-5 at a time), my resting heart rate has dropped almost 10 beats per minute, I've had zero nightmares (based not just on what I remember but also on how much I move and talk in my sleep), and my fitness tracker wants to know what I've been doing different lately and whether I can keep it up.

I don't expect this change to be permanent or even long-lasting, but not even months of therapy at a time have ever had a positive effect so strong my tracker picked up on it. Not even when I was in crisis mode and only able to sleep 2 or 3 hours a day was therapy able to improve my sleep and my well-being so immediately. Astarion's storyline from finding Cazador's prisoners to the final confrontation, which took me a bit over an hour, did. If you want to count all the narrative build-up to that climax that gave it meaning, call it six weeks' investment for such a dramatic improvement.

The idea that trauma-aware roleplay can help people with PTSD and especially CPTSD find short-term peace and even a long-term improvement in overall functioning and mental health isn't new to me. I stumbled across it on my own, unguided, 30+ years ago. It's a bit newer to most therapists, but it's an approach used in experiential therapy and some related strategies and had been studied for much longer before its incorporation in such toolkits. But BG3 isn't being sold as therapy; it's being sold as a fun video game to play in one's free time.

The thing about CPTSD and recovery from abuse in general is that you have to practice new ways of reacting to the world. Therapies like cognitive behavior therapy focus on helping the patient replace old, maladaptive patterns of thinking that helped them survive a traumatic situation but hinder functioning in safer environments with intentionally-created ones that would have been too dangerous to practice in the traumatic environment but are healthier and more supportive outside it. These patterns have to be practiced, though; it's not enough to just correct yourself once with a more affirming statement and wait for results. You have to do it over and over until it becomes your new default. And results matter. If practicing the new behavior or thought results in the kind of negative outcome it would have prompted in the original abusive situation, the effect is that the old, maladaptive pattern is reinforced instead: "See? I knew acting that way would be too dangerous. I knew thinking that way would just be lying to myself. I already know what's best. The way I've always behaved in order to survive is what serves to keep me safe."

Which is why Astarion's storyline is both so effective and so astonishingly well done. Over and over, you get the chance to reassure him that your friendship is not merely a set of opportunistic transactions, that you don't want to control him, that you see him as a person rather than a puppet or a tool, that he can refuse to manage your feelings for you or even outright hurt your feelings without being "punished" for it. You can comment out loud to him when you catch him being manipulative and tell him that's not how your friendship works while still accepting and supporting him as a person, as a friend. You can make your friendship with him an environment completely opposite in nature to his relationship with his abuser. You can teach him -- and, if you need it, yourself -- what a safe environment looks like. And you can teach him that his abuser's behavior was successful in an environment created specifically to reserve all power for the abuser, but doesn't serve as well outside that situation, to encourage him to find healthier ways of dealing with the world than the ones that were modelled for him within that trauma. (Am I projecting? Of course I'm projecting; that's precisely what makes roleplay such an effective tool. It's a natural human tendency that can be used to advantage.)

And somewhere in your psyche, if you're a person who needs to hear all that as much as Astarion does, your mind is taking note: "How I thought the whole world works was wrong. Only that one little part of the world worked that way. The world is much bigger than the limited environment that hurt me. There are better ways to live and be." The parts of the brain where trauma plants its deepest roots can't tell the difference between play and reality, between past and present. They can't tell the difference between "I can make a safer environment for this person in front of me" and "I can go back in time and make a safer environment for the person I used to be." (That's why so many abuse survivors feel compelled to help other abuse survivors -- empathy, yes, and identification, but on a deeper level than that; we try to become the person who never showed up to help us.)

And if "this person in front of me" happens to be a fictional character, well, it can't really tell the difference between fiction and reality either -- especially when the fiction has a visible face and an audible voice and convincing expression in both.

I'm not in the slightest saying, "Go out and buy BG3 to fix yourself!" because using roleplay as therapy is far too highly personal and variable to expect consistent results from a script. There might be people whose trauma is reinforced by the same things that spoke so soothingly to mine. Larian is a video game company, not a therapist. But I can't get over the way a video game company for fuck's sake has created such a sensitive, tender, supportive story that it can even accidentally function this way. They didn't have to go so hard. They didn't have to lean so far into empathy. They didn't have to bring so much realism into it. They could have just told an interesting story. They did tell an interesting story -- but someone here decided they needed to tell it so well, so powerfully, that they were going to need to know exactly what living through events like those would do to a person, and how a friend would have to act to support that person in working toward happiness and health.

Well fucking done, Larian. Extremely well fucking done.

And although I can't reasonably expect the current effects to last, I can carry something lasting from here on; I can add "What would I say to Astarion right now?" to the list of questions I ask myself when triggered, when I realize I'm experiencing an implicit flashback. What would I say to Astarion? What would I say to a friend? What would I say to someone I care about who's been through the same things I have? What would I say to myself if I thought I deserved to be happy and free?

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #astarion #astarion ancunin #Larian #ptsd #complex ptsd #cptsd #child abuse #abuse survivor

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delgado-master · 8 months

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Yeah, after kokobot (which put pedophiles in contact with someone claiming to be a high school student to test it out, and that also used mentally ill teens as test subjects) I’m not trusting an app with “AI advice” not to tell a bunch of queer people to kill themselves

Update: when you look up Voda, you get, in order

Notice that none of these options are about this mental health service.

So, yeah, this is very sketchy. I may end up downloading it myself so you don’t have to, but I will end this post by looking at the Google play store

First off, it’s rated everyone on Google play but 17+ on Apple Store (or 12+ in certain countries). I think this warrants future investigation on queerphobic App Store policies. I’ll look at why it’s rated 17+ later.

Additional features it advertises: Cognitive Journaling Exercises, so Journal Prompts? And “Support for Trans and LGBTQ+ Individuals” which is really weird to put at the end of the features for a queer mental health app

Also “Developed by Leading LGBTQIA+ Psychotherapists” is listed as “something you have access to?

Also enjoy this:

WHAT CAN I LEARN?

Unlock the power of self-guided therapy with evidence-backed therapy approaches, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), and mindfulness.

If you really had lgbtq+ people working on the app you think one of them would know of the other meaning of “CBT”.

At least they supposedly don’t collect data, and the permissions look normal.

it does disclose it collects more data on iPhone, but the data is entirely related to the app’s functions, and I think it’s 17+ I think because it’s a medical app.

#voda #voda mental health

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gatheringbones · 1 year

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[“…. right from its psychoanalytic beginnings, mental illness was connected to amorality, a legacy that is challenging to distance ourselves from, and amorality was connected to femininity. Although we have come a long way, assumptions about the superiority of rationality persist in our field, at least within Anglo and Western dominant paradigms. For example, the field of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) rests on the assumption that we can literally exercise mind over matter. CBT does view a connection between thoughts, emotions and behaviors but mostly intervenes at the level of thoughts and behaviors, trying to change “distorted thinking” and “maladaptive behaviors.” There is an almost unspoken assumption that “rational” thoughts and behaviors are always morally superior and to be preferred in the field of mental health.

It is no accident, in my opinion, that rational thoughts and behaviors are stereotypically associated with masculinity and, more specifically white and Anglo masculinity. Even though gender seems to be but a minor branch of topical interest in psychology and mental health, gendered assumptions run deep in our field. It’s rare that anyone questions bold assertions, made by mental health providers on a daily basis, on how “men and women work.” Those assumptions are, after all, foundational to many theories and approaches.

Even when gender is not mentioned at all in certain theories, in practice people tend to apply them differently with “male and female” clients. It’s even rarer that the whole premise of two gender is put into question and, when it is, it only seems to pertain to transgender and/or nonbinary people, leaving the main tenets of gendered thinking in dominant culture untouched and unquestioned. Mental health with and for transgender and/or nonbinary people then becomes its own specialist branch, which means the rest of the field can continue undisturbed in their assumptions about men and women, as long as we keep to our turf and don’t shake the cisgenderist foundation of the whole discipline. This too is a colonizing and capitalist approach. If we’re kept separate from one another, we can be better controlled and, most importantly, there can be more specialties, and therefore more certifications and trainings to be sold and bought.

Even in the field of family therapy, where systemic thinking could open a different conversation about gender, all too often we fall back on established stereotypes and pseudoscience about gender as a rigid binary. Yet, I have found that when I can support people in connecting genuinely to gender as a historical, social and cultural construct, a better understanding of one another can emerge across differences that are made to look chasmic by people who are invested in selling solutions specific to “men,” “women,” and “transgender and/or nonbinary people.” Unfortunately the discourse that men are from Mars, women are from Venus and trans people from Transylvania (at least according to The Rocky Horror Picture Show) is familiar to people and, like many other popular discourses, is reproduced effortlessly by providers and researchers who are also brought up within these dominant paradigms.

Sometimes people acknowledge that what they’re working with are issues like toxic masculinity, but they’re reluctant to then broaden the lens to indicate how larger systems support the reproduction of such harmful, colonial binaries. This means that, ironically, while working to dismantle toxic masculinity, they also keep reifying it by framing their work as being with “men” or “boys.” I can understand how the latter is more marketable than the “smash the colonial patriarchy” approach I am proposing in this book but I truly believe that if we don’t start questioning the rigidity of the gender binary altogether, for everyone, we will keep running around in circles to find ourselves in the same places, or maybe just a few inches over to the left.”]

alex iantaffi, from gender trauma: healing cultural, social, and historical gendered trauma, 2020

#alex iantaffi #trans literature #history stuff #currently reading #gender stuff

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lady-phasma · 3 days

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Hello there, I loved your previous answer to an anon question and you made a comment about your previous experience of getting attached to characters or people because of loneliness and depression. Please can I ask how you overcome that and what perspective you had about this? How did you frame it in your mind? 🥰🥰🥰 I have never really experienced this before and I’m not why but I get happy and then feel sadness because I know im projecting and it’s not real. In my real life I’m pretty confident but I would like to start dating and meeting someone but have a crush on a character or actor has been easier than going out there and approaching people I like. Any advice would be brilliant. Also I have felt that when it has come to people like EM etc the stories about how they actually got there and the way in which they have made sacrifices and had challenges gets glossed over. It’s always look at how well they have done which is right, but not it’s taken lots of hard work and lots of rejections and learning behind closed doors to get them in this position. The glamorisation of actors can be really off putting for me as it’s amazing that they are getting the credit they deserve but the toil to get there is rarely mentioned.

Hi anon! I think this is the ask you are referring to. Thank you. 💜 I'm glad you enjoyed it. Let me tell you today turned out to be the day to ask this. We have gotten so many Ewan crumbs today. It's honestly a bit overwhelming.

I'm going to start with: your emotions are not weird or uncommon! The first thing we have to do is be compassionate with ourselves. I have a couple moots who needed some distance this week, not because of drama, just to be in the real world more and less overwhelmed. I spent half of Sunday without any technology so I could give my brain a break. So do your absolute best to be compassionate toward yourself.

Next, regarding this:

you made a comment about your previous experience of getting attached to characters or people because of loneliness and depression. Please can I ask how you overcome that and what perspective you had about this? How did you frame it in your mind?

This answer will be quite long, settle in. I will use some healthier examples from my Matt Smith fandom and a couple from back when I had a harder time coping. The timing does overlap in my life a bit because Matt has been part of my life since he and I were 25-26 years old (I phrased it like that even though it's odd, because I want people to understand that most of what I am going to be discussing was before I turned 30).

I think this is the comment you were talking about:

lady-phasma: Oh man I have had attachments in the past, at points in my life that could have become obsessions because of loneliness or depression (not applying that to this anon) and have had to take a step back and think "okay I actually don't know this person!"

That's the context here's the first part of the answer. Cognitive behavioral therapy helped a lot. Not for the attachments to actors/public figures, but for what was actually going on with me (which I'm not going to go into too much detail about). My sister and I call these actors "emotional support actors" (gender neutral). There have been times that it wasn't the actor, but a specific character which helped me through a difficult time. When I was in a slowly-dying relationship, Ryan Gosling helped me feel less alone through roles like Drive and Crazy, Stupid Love. I want to be clear that I am not discussing parasocial relationships exactly (here's an article about those that is fairly unbiased). I don't have a problem discussing them and I have possibly unpopular opinions about them, but that's a distinction I wanted to make here. I consumed all the Ryan Gosling content I could for over two years and his movies helped me during my breakup (yes, the relationship ended, thank fuck).

The way that I "overcame" it was by reframing the actor/character in my mind as a tool or coping mechanism (I was thrilled you said "frame" btw). In the recent past I said to a moot "these internet men are going to kill me." That made them laugh because "these internet men" are real people. I have even made posts about that. However, that is one of my ways of creating distance. The Ryan Gosling I learned about, watched every interview of, watched nearly his entire body of work, is not Ryan Gosling and never will be. Neither is Matt or Pedro or Ewan or Gwendoline Christie or any of them. So now, I think of them as tools that I use to give myself some comfort during a difficult time when it starts to escalate.

This is where I'll use Matt as an example because I have been able to do this with him since day one. I have written about it briefly before, the Eleventh Doctor showed up at a time in my life that was very difficult. I had no idea I needed him. It turns out the part was played by a gorgeous and talented actor. I know now that I can turn to Matt's films/tv shows for comfort and keep my emotional distance because, in many ways, he is a figment of my imagination. I'll note here that I also no longer consume detailed personal facts about actors. I know a lot of people enjoy that but outside of knowing things Matt has said in interviews and his birthday and height I have no clue who he dates and when. No idea where he likes to vacation or grab a pint. This applies to any actor I like: the less I know, the better. That helps me from thinking that I know them. (I hope I explained that well.)

As you said, a projection. Watching his Doctor Who episodes is the same as a weighted blanket. It is comforting, self-care, and gives me space to not think.

I'm going to tie this into your other main question:

In my real life I’m pretty confident but I would like to start dating and meeting someone but have a crush on a character or actor has been easier than going out there and approaching people I like.

Ask any moot who knows me well and they can tell you I have a personal rule: if I start to have daydreams about meeting Matt I shut that shit down fast. And I mean fast. As soon as I realize I've done it I stop, take a step back, and use my self-awareness to isolate what I need in that moment. Am I lonely, hungry, overwhelmed, tired, anxious? This is personal boundary for me. I love daydreams but I want to maintain my on-going fangirling for Matt as long as possible. This approach works for me because maybe I need to text a friend or do some yoga or even get on a dating app. We can't always identify what the need is but it helps me to try. I am confident as well and have had lots of partners when I have the energy to put into those interactions. I don't always have that energy. I know why it's easier for me to crush/fangirl though this may not be your reason: I don't have to give up a single aspect of my life to another person, I don't have to be vulnerable because these are completely one sided situations. Matt will never ask me to meet his mom. Ewan will never need me to pick him up if he has a flat time. My time and my energy remain my own.

I don't have any kind of advice really. I'm aroallo and omnisexual and a cis female and you might be absolutely none of those things so my advice wouldn't help. But, human to human, pay attention to what you feel you are missing in your life and decide if you need to make it happen or if you can feel at peace without it. That is a question we have to ask over and over through our lives because we change so much.

I wish I had time to talk about the last bit you mentioned because it is important that we humanize actors and understand their struggles but I have gone on longer than most people will read. 💕 Thank you for coming to me, anon. I'm always here.

Just in case you decide to come back I gave you 📸 anon (because it felt appropriate and fun for fandom stuff) but feel free to pick your own if you don't like that.

#love my anons #asked and answered #fandom stuff #personal #📸 anon

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synergysobrietysolutions · 1 month

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azura-tsukikage · 7 months

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Overview of Shadow Work: Shadow work is a psychological and spiritual practice that involves exploring the aspects of ourselves that we have repressed, denied, or disowned. These aspects, often referred to as the "shadow," can include hidden emotions, beliefs, and behaviors that we may find uncomfortable, embarrassing, or even contradictory to our self-image. Shadow work is based on the idea that acknowledging and integrating these hidden parts of ourselves can lead to personal growth, self-acceptance, and a deeper understanding of our own motivations and behaviors.

How to Approach Shadow Work:

Self-Reflection and Awareness: Begin by developing self-awareness. Reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors to identify patterns or aspects of yourself that you may have denied or suppressed. Journaling can be a useful tool for this process.

Identify Triggers: Pay attention to situations, experiences, or interactions that trigger strong emotional reactions in you. These triggers can be indicators of unresolved issues or aspects of your shadow.

Embrace Non-Judgment: Approach your shadow without judgment. Recognize that these hidden aspects of yourself are not inherently good or bad; they are simply a part of who you are.

Seek Support: Consider working with a therapist or counselor, especially if you find that shadow work brings up intense emotions or past trauma. Professional support can provide a safe space for exploration.

Mindfulness and Meditation: Practice mindfulness and meditation to help you stay present and observe your thoughts and feelings without attachment. This can facilitate deeper self-awareness.

Dream Analysis: Explore your dreams for symbols, recurring themes, and messages from your subconscious mind. Dreams can provide valuable insights into your shadow.

Inner Dialogue: Engage in an inner dialogue with the aspects of your shadow. You can do this through writing, visualization, or meditation. Ask questions, listen to the responses, and seek understanding.

Integration and Acceptance: Work on integrating the insights gained from your shadow work into your daily life. This may involve accepting and embracing parts of yourself that you've previously rejected.

Ongoing Practice: Shadow work is not a one-time process; it's an ongoing journey. Continuously revisit and explore your shadow as you evolve and grow.

Compassion and Self-Love: Be compassionate toward yourself throughout the process. Understand that shadow work is a courageous endeavor and that self-love is an essential component of self-acceptance.

By approaching shadow work pragmatically, you can gain a deeper understanding of your inner world, heal past wounds, and become more aligned with your authentic self. This process can lead to personal growth and greater self-acceptance, ultimately improving your overall well-being.

If you are dealing with thoughts, beliefs and/or behaviors that are potentially harmful, dangerous, or deeply troubling, it's important to address them with a heightened level of caution and responsibility. Shadow work is a valuable practice, but it's not a substitute for addressing such behaviors, which may require professional intervention and therapy. Here's how to navigate these situations:

Safety First: If any behavior poses an immediate threat to your safety or the safety of others, prioritize your safety and the safety of those around you. Seek professional help or emergency assistance as needed.

Professional Support: For behaviors that go beyond the realm of personal growth and self-awareness, such as those with the potential for physical harm, psychological harm, or legal consequences, it's crucial to seek professional help. A licensed therapist, counselor, or mental health expert can provide the necessary guidance and support.

Therapeutic Intervention: Therapy, including cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), can be instrumental in addressing and changing harmful behaviors. A therapist can help you identify the root causes of these behaviors and work with you to develop strategies for change.

Accountability: In cases where your behaviors have harmed others, take responsibility for your actions. Engage in restorative practices when appropriate, such as apologizing and making amends.

Mindfulness and Self-Reflection: While professional help is essential, you can still engage in mindfulness and self-reflection as complementary practices. These can help you understand the underlying causes of your behavior and provide insights that can be discussed with your therapist.

Collaboration: Collaborate with your therapist to address both the surface-level behaviors and the deeper issues that may be driving them. Shadow work, as part of your therapeutic process, can be used to explore the underlying emotions and beliefs that contribute to these behaviors.

Patience and Persistence: Changing harmful behaviors is a process that takes time and persistence. Be patient with yourself, and commit to the work required to create positive change.

In summary, while shadow work can be a valuable tool for self-awareness and introspection, it should not be used as a replacement for professional intervention when dealing with behaviors that have the potential for harm. Seek help from a qualified therapist to address these issues and work on creating healthier, more positive behaviors and thought patterns.

#witchblr #witchcraft #spiritual growth #witches of tumblr #psychology #shadow workj #self care #self awareness #healing #self improvement

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markantonys · 8 months

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I'm curious how "Rand pushing his friends away 2.0" will go. First go round was cause he was scared of hurting them (which is book accurate). The second time in the books is a trauma response so it could go that way in the show too but I just wonder if they don't want to get repetitive of him pushing his friends away. But it is kinda important 🤔 one of the main things is Rand believing his friends aren't in his corner cause of his trauma and self hatred so maybe they lean into that more

yeah it's interesting to ponder! like you say, in the second half of the series it's less "rand pushes his friends away to protect them" and more "rand's friends are geographically separated from him for a long period of time and continue to worry about him despite not being able to see him, whilst rand's deteriorating mental state leads him to incorrectly think his friends have abandoned him and don't care about him anymore" - so if the show went that route in future seasons, i don't think that would feel repetitive with him pushing people away to protect them in s2! and the much stronger EF5 friendship they've established would make it all the more heartbreaking to see rand losing faith in his friends and all the more illustrative of what a bad place he's in (vs. in the books where most readers genuinely believe him when he says they've abandoned him, because the EF5 friendship was relatively lukewarm and the evidence that Everyone Still Cares About Rand was definitely there, but not too strongly or frequently)

it's interesting that rand appears to have actually learned the "pushing people away just makes you and them more vulnerable" lesson after s2 (judging by his Amateur Therapy Session with mat and his apology to egwene), so the approach on that front going forward would have to be either a) rand didn't genuinely learn this after all and is right back to his old tricks in s3, b) rand did genuinely learn it now, but backslides later due to trauma and his deteriorating mental state, or c) the "push people away to protect them" thing is all dealt with in s2 and rand's future isolation will be due to different causes (such as the plot-mandated separation i mentioned above). all 3 seem equally plausible to me!

(but i definitely wouldn't be mad about option C, particularly when thinking about rand's romances. good god the "aaaaahhh i can't be with you i'm soooo dangerous" got SO tiring in the books lmao, like it's not unreasonable for rand to feel that way given the Everything and i'm not unsympathetic towards him, but it just got so tiring! and it made the romances even more difficult to enact than they needed to be & made rand see even less of elayne and aviendha than he already would have due to plot reasons. it also caused a hell of a lot of cognitive dissonance and breaks in rand's own internal logic and characterization, where he's on the one hand going "aaaaahhh i can't be with you i'm soooo dangerous" & refusing to stay in caemlyn with elayne and avi for more than a night lest he draw the forsaken there, and on the other hand he's agreeing to be warder-bonded to everyone & going "come on min, time to bring you into an active warzone" & flaunting his relationship with her in public for all and sundry to see. so the show needs to do SOMETHING here, whether it be preventing his "push them away to protect them" attitude from recurring at all after s2 or making it recur only much later once his bonds & romances are all squared away or saving the bonding until after his epiphany or simply just equalizing his behavior towards each of the 3 so that nobody's getting exceptions to whatever show!rand's internal logic rules end up being.)

#anonymous #answered #wot book spoilers

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mentalhealthhelpsblog · 5 months

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What is psychosis?

Psychosis is disconnection from reality. People may have false beliefs or experience things that aren’t real. Psychosis isn’t a condition. It’s a term that describes a collection of symptoms.

Two important types of psychosis include:

* Hallucinations. These are when parts of your brain mistakenly act like they would if your senses (vision, hearing, touch, smell and taste) picked up on something actually happening. An example of a hallucination is hearing voices that aren’t there (auditory hallucination).

* Delusions. These are false beliefs that someone holds onto very strongly, even when others don’t believe them or there’s plenty of evidence that a belief isn't true. For example, people with delusions of control believe someone is controlling their thoughts or actions remotely.

Psychosis may be a symptom of a mental illness, such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or severe depression. However, a person can experience psychosis and never be diagnosed with schizophrenia or any other disorder.

Other causes of psychosis

* Misuse of alcohol, prescription medications or recreational drugs

* Severe head injuries (concussions and traumatic brain injuries).

* Traumatic experiences.

* Complex PTSD

* Unusually high levels of stress or anxiety.

The following medical conditions have been known to trigger psychotic episodes in some people:

* HIV and AIDS.

* malaria.

* syphilis.

* Alzheimer's disease.

* Parkinson's disease.

* hypoglycaemia (an abnormally low level of glucose in the blood)

* lupus.

* multiple sclerosis.

How is psychosis treated?

*The treatment of psychosis depends mainly on the underlying cause. In those cases, treating the underlying cause is often the only treatment needed.

For psychosis that needs direct treatment, there are several approaches.

* Medications. Antipsychotic drugs are the most common type of medications to treat psychosis, but other medications, such as antidepressants or lithium, may also help.

* Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). This type of psychotherapy can help with certain mental health conditions that can cause psychosis or make it worse.

* Inpatient treatment. For severe cases of psychosis, especially when a person may poses a danger to themselves or others, inpatient treatment in a hospital or specialist facility is sometimes necessary.

* Support programs or care. Many people experience psychosis because of other conditions such as alcohol or substance use disorders and personality disorders. Treating these disorders or helping people with social, work and family programs can sometimes reduce the impact of psychosis and related conditions. These programs can also make it easier for people to manage psychosis and their underlying condition.

#symptoms of psychosis #mental health #pyschosis #mental health advocate

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thistlecatfics · 1 year

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do you have opinions on cbt

Hahaha everyone has opinions on CBT. For the radical queer trauma therapist circles I run in I’m actually pretty pro-CBT. For the average person involved in mental/behavioral health, I’m probably anti-CBT.

[For context, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a famously evidence based type of therapy which works by targeting thoughts/cognitions. It theorizes that thoughts cause behaviors which cause feelings which cause thoughts all around and around in a spiral of doom for which the easiest intervention is targeting the thoughts. It can be very regimented, hence it’s easily studied, hence why it’s so “evidence based.” You basically identify “cognitive distortions” like catastrophizing (I failed my exam and so I’m going to fail out of school and live in a cardboard box) and reality-check them (it’s one exam in one class and I can still pass the class if I get a decent grade on my final). You also identify the thought/feeling/behavior spiral (thought=I failed -> I will be homeless, feeling=fear, shame, behavior=avoiding the professor and anything associated with the class.) It’s definitely bigger and more complicated than that, but you get the idea.]

For a lot of people with anxiety and with OCD especially, it can be so life changing.

For a lot of people, especially people who are trauma survivors or whose presenting problems are connected to trauma, it can feel like gaslighting.

(Fun fact! Part of the reason TF-CBT (trauma focused CBT) has such solid evidence behind it is that it ignores the wild survival bias in its studies. People who have a lot of trauma or really intense PTSD tend to drop out. Those who stay mostly have success with it and provide happy little data points)

I think certain parts of CBT can be so useful – noticing thoughts, identifying cognitive distortions, checking in with reality – and I think using the triangle with clients (the little triangle of “thoughts,” “emotions,” “behaviors”) can be super useful, and I do it fairly often.

Personally, I find a lot of my clients can do (most of) the mental/cognitive work on their own – what they really need help with from a trained professional is actually a felt sense of safety and emotional processing which require therapeutic flexibility and other modalities -- and a longer period of work.

Some people like a very concrete, structured approach, especially if they’re new to therapy or skeptical of the value of therapy. Also, a lot of people only can access therapy for a short time and a lot of people only want to be in therapy for a short time, and you can make changes quickly with CBT. Also, from the therapist end, there are a million free CBT trainings and workshops you can do vs. most other modalities where you have to pay $1000s for trainings (on top of getting a graduate degree).

Insurance companies and payers in general LOVE CBT because it’s structured, evidence-based, and short-term. You also require clients to do homework, which is basically like extra therapy time you don’t have to pay the clinician for. You can also train people in it pretty easily. I think it’s important to understand *why* CBT is held up as the best/standard therapy type now, and it has a lot less to do with CBT itself and more to do with service provision and structural factors around paying for therapy and with what can be effectively researched.

I’m reading Richard Schwartz’s “No Bad Parts” right now about Internal Family Systems therapy, and I’m now thinking of CBT within that framework. Basically, CBT is an effective part of the overall therapy system but it’s being asked to do too much, and so is overfunctioning and causing problems. We really should just let it settle into its own niche.

It’s not my therapy niche! But it has a place.

(If you were asking about Cock and Ball Torture therapy that would probably fall under the category of “experiential” therapy. Not sure it’s really been studied, but I’m sure there would be enthusiastic participants.)

#cognitive behavioral therapy

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