#char: Wanda Maximoff
Text
Everything’s in Check
Pairing: Dark!Wanda Maximoff x Innocent!Reader x Dark!Natasha Romanoff
Summary: Dr. Romanoff has a check up appointment with the help of her nurse assistant, Wanda Maximoff.
Warnings: medical kink, latex gloves kink, fingering, humiliation kink, dark themes, smut (18+) crying, vaginal dilators, numbing with the use of injection
stop reading if it makes you uncomfortable! ALSO i’m not a doctor and refuse to do research, so if i say something medically incorrect… ignore it.
Main Masterlist
DO NOT REPOST ANY OF MY WORK. YOU DO NOT HAVE MY PERMISSION TO DO SO. DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, OR PLAGIARIZE MY WORK ON AN OTHER PLATFORM OR “GIVE ME CREDIT”
To be transparent, you feared coming in this morning. You never really had a good experience with doctors. You remember your first doctor, his hands were rough, eyes looked bored, and he barely talked to you. He was a big meanie. Your second doctor was almost the same, only his eyes wandered and asked question you knew had no relation to your visit.
This meant if you needed to go to the doctors, you would make sure to postpone that trip as much as possible. So that’s what you did, only you had a new doctor.
“Are you scared?”
The voice makes you jump. The thin medical gown did little to protect you from the cold or cover your backside. You tried leaving your underwear on, but Nurse Maximoff insisted you took them off to ‘make things easy for Dr. Romanoff’.
“A little,” you reply softly.
You try not to move because you know the medical examination table will squeak. Plus, you know the disposable paper beneath you will tear with a single flinch. You’re trying to save yourself from that embarrassment.
“You can always hold my hand if it gets too much, how does that sound?”
You eyes light up from the kind offer before you shyly nod. “Yes, please. I’ve never done this before and all my friends said it hurt them.”
“It can be scary, but Dr. Romanoff is very good at her job. She’ll do her best to keep you comfortable.” You smile at that and giggle when Nurse Maximoff send you a wink before closing the door.
It isn’t long until you hear muffled voices just outside the door. An unfamiliar woman walks in with Nurse Wanda not far behind. Her presence automatically makes you nervous, you don’t know if it’s her bold hair or the way she briefly smiled at you. On autopilot, the two women wash their hands with such grace. It’s almost like watching ballerinas dance, it’s art.
“How are you doing today, Y/N,” she asked before turning over to look at you. You can’t determine whether or not she is truly asking. Did she care?
Her eyes were pretty, delicate but fierce. Enough green to get lost in and think or the plant stems that carry the blooming flowers; however, they were firm enough to make you stutter.
“I-I am doing good, Dr. Romanoff,” you nod awkwardly as you fiddled with your thumbs.
“That’s good to hear, sweetheart.” She pauses looking down at her click board before continuing, “Please call me Natasha.”
Okay… maybe she does care.
“I take it that my best nurse, Wanda, walked you through everything?” She assumes as she grabs the abnormal latex gloves for a doctor. They aren’t their usual light blue, instead they are black.
Nervously, you answered that she had and said no when she asked you if you had any further questions. She motioned for you to change positions on the examination chair. Latex-covered hands tap your ankles as they are moved on their correct position on the stirrups.
“Just as a precaution we’ll need to strap you down, okay sweetheart?” She doesn’t really leave room for discussion when she nods to Wanda. But you think nothing of it, because Dr. Romanoff’s hands rub your calves gently.
Your breath hitches when Wanda tightens the buckle over your thighs. You’re shy when it’s blatantly obvious your parts are fully exposed. You avoid eye contact the second you see Dr. Romanoff’s eyes look between your legs. Your hands go to cover your face when you hear the two women whisper to each other.
“Oh no, honey. Are you shy?” Natasha coos. She motions for Wanda to comfort you. You almost want to burst into tears when your nurse rubs your arms. The friction is a bit awkward her her gloves on, but you think it’s sweet nonetheless.
“A little.” You whine whine softly and choke on your breath when you feel fingers rub between your legs.
Your teeth bite the inside of your cheek when you see her grab the rather large speculum. Your doctor is more then generous with the lube, something you’re thankful for. You’ve heard the horror stories. Wanda’s hand slips comfortably in yours when Natasha pushes the tip of tool inside you.
Hissing at the cold temperature of the metal incanting your most private area. You try your best to hold in your tears, you do, but it hurts. If it wasn’t for your doctor’s worried eyes looking back at you you’d think she was doing this on purpose.
You would truly believe that Dr. Romanoff was just another meanie.
The grip you have on your nurse’s hand is enough to make your fingers cramp. You can’t imagine how Nurse Maximoff’s hand must feel. Restraints wrapped around your thighs and calves only tighten with every flinch. You can already see the marks and imprint on your skin later.
“I’m hurting you too much,” Natasha sighs, defeated.
You want to scoff in her face, as if the tears rolling down your cheeks and small sniffles weren’t enough, but you cry in relief when she pulls the tool out. At that point you couldn’t think about doing anything else but thank her.
“I know a way it will feel better, okay?” Natasha hums. She hums a second time to get your approval. Butterflies fly in your tummy as you watch her snap the gloves off her hands. Your eyes on her hands and widened when you see she is staring at you, staring at her.
“Yes doctor.”
“And if that doesn’t work I have something else we can try,” she shrugs casually as she shuffled through her medical tools.
You nod as your blink away your dried tears. Anything but that. Glossy eyes glance up at the nurse in the room. Even with her mask on you can tell how beautiful she is. Subconsciously your walls clench around nothing when she sends you a flirty wink. Shy, you break eye contact and try to close your legs. You swear you hear a light chuckle.
“Nurse?”
“Yes, Doctor?”
“Clean her up.”
Confused you watch your nurse walk around to the corner of the room. You hear the plastic before you see it. Nurse Maximoff settles down where Dr. Romanoff once was with a small pack of wipes.
You throw your head back connecting the dots. This has got to be the most humiliating thing ever. You want to protest and tell both your doctor and nurse that you’re more than capable to clean and wipe yourself away, but your hands are shaky and your heart is racing.
As soon as you feel the first wipe your eyes water once more. You’re ashamed and feel so useless when the nurse grabs the second wipe. She gentle and wipes away all the excess lube left behind from your doctor. You hide your tears and sigh in relief when the redhead sitting between your separated legs is finished. You count to five slowly in your head, blocking out the two intelligent women who seem to have no issue with your nakedness and discomfort.
The colorful box in your doctor’s hands sparks an interest. You barely have a chance to read the label before Dr. Romanoff tears the unopened box. With new clean gloves, she carefully placed these multi-colored, plastic inserts on her sterile tray. There’s five different rod-like devices, each bigger and thicker than the last with a rounded tip.
“I know they look scary, honey,” your doctor paused as she gathered the rest of her tools, “But we will take it slow.”
You nodded, but gave a verbal answer after Nurse Maximoff raised her eyebrows. Once again, the red head found her place between your thighs with the smallest ‘vaginal dilator’ in her hand.
She was quick. Wasted no time.
You gasped when she pushed the small tool passed your entrance. This one wasn’t so bad. Your nails digging into the poor chair could finally relax. Whispers are shared between the two scholars as your doctor carefully switched the tool for a bigger size. This one didn’t sting too much. There was a slight burn.
“Relax.”
The third one hurt. The stretch stun and had your fingernails dig into your palms. Muscles you never knew existed felt sore from the sudden and abnormal stretch. You want to protest when your doctor reaches for the fourth one.
“Too much?”
You nod with shiny eyes.
A silent conversation is shared through the medical professionals with their eyes. Wanda taps your hand before moving to grab something behind you. Your doctor tries to distract you by rubbing her hand on your inner thighs.
“Honey, we are going to try that last thing, m’kay?” she pauses and you swear you have a finger flicking thin glass. “You’ll feel a small pinch,” she squeezes the meaty part of your inner thigh before continuing, “but we will give it a couple seconds to kick in and you won’t feel a thing.”
An intimidating needle is passed onto your doctor which leaves you shaking like a leaf. She explains the small dose will leave you numb for the next thirty to sixty minutes and shouldn’t have any side effects. Your eyes overflowed with tears the second the needle pricks your skin. It’s only for a second and then the pain is gone. Sweet nothings are whispered into your ear as the doctor between your legs waits for drug to kick in. At first it feels funny and weird. Those words are the only ones that can describe it.
“How does that feel?”
You want to laugh at first, because you can’t feel anything, but your doctor is quick to get the message. She works between your legs as a very professional nurse distracts you. Nurse Wanda asks about your day when you see your doctor grab the cold, metal speculum. The same tool that made you flinch before was the least of your worries.
You don’t feel it, but you hear it. You hear how wet the space between your legs is. You can see the fascination in your doctor’s eyes when she replaces her tool with her fingers and you don’t even notice. You don’t notice she has three fingers inside you until she brings the soaked, gloved fingers to your nurse’s mouth. You watch, horrified and embarrassed when Wanda lets your taste sit before letting go of your hand and jotting down some notes. She studies you as if you were unconscious.
Your nurse is no better then your doctor. Humming when your slick hit her tastebuds. She even looks up at the ceiling so deep in a thought before she writes to the words ‘tastes sweet’. Settling her notes on a sterile table, your nurse, Wanda, stands behind Natasha staring hard between your legs.
“Doctor, what about this area here?”
Natasha eyebrows furrowed as her eyes followed her coworker’s pointer finger. She pointed to a small bud you never even knew existed, untouched. Numb between your legs, you jump at the feeling and overwhelming feeling of someone’s touch on the most sensitive part of your body.
“Oh no, looks like our anesthesia didn’t work here,” Natasha pouts with fake sadness. Brushing her latex covered thumb over the bud again making your eyes roll back and mouth fall open. She hums to herself as she continues, “But that doesn’t seem to be a problem, huh?”
A small chuckle that leaves Wanda’s mouth pulls your out of the pleasurable trance. Suddenly, you’re excessively aware of the position you’re in. The straps holding you down are tighter then before, fingernails are now digging into your palms, and the heat between your legs was growing profoundly. Panic start to set when you hear the wet noises. Your whole rocks with each thrust of your doctor’s fingers. The pads of her fingers hitting a spot deep inside you that makes your whole body cry.
Tears fall down your cheeks when you hear side comments like, “if I didn’t know any better I’d say she was a big whore” or “Look here, she can’t even control it.” The image of your doctor’s soaked fingers entering her mouth to “get a taste” for herself was something you knew would haunt you for the rest of your life. You’ll never forget the way she hums at your taste or the intense eye contact she shared with you while she suck her fingers clean. You can’t bare it. The way the two educated women completely disregard you, yet took notes off your body and its reactions. You want to bury yourself in a hole.
“Nurse.”
“Yes, doctor?”
“Bring over a mirror and grab a tissue for our sweet patient.”
If it weren’t for Natasha asking for the tissue you never would have known she cared for your tears. The mirror was something that threw you off. Scared, not knowing what was coming next your eyes follow Wanda as she grabs a circle mirror. The two women share a silent conversation which results in Wanda holding the mirror above Natasha’s head giving you the perfect view of your own body.
You can see Natasha’s fingers glistening with your slick and her spit. You can see the way you drip. You can almost see the way you throb.
You can see it. Her fingers inside, the four fingers stretching you. Your muscles straining to fit the sudden fullest, the fullest you couldn’t feel. You can see the way your muscles contract involuntarily. But you can’t feel it. Not until Wanda’s fingers rub your clit. Your whole body jerks as if Wanda had some type of power. You didn’t see them, but you hear the smirks on the women’s faces.
“There she is.”
Moans fall pass your lips uncontrollably. Wanda’s thumb doesn’t seem to rest as she circles your clit over and over again. Every time you closed your eyes are turn away from looking at the mirror Wanda landed a firm slap on your clit. Each time your thighs flinch and involuntarily vote to shut, but the straps tying them down only tighten. Your eyebrows scrunch in both confusion and pleasure. You’re confused by what you’re feeling. There’s heat in your belly as your hear beats faster than a racehorse.
“Come on, honey. Let go.”
Her directions are comforting, but your mind is foggy. The view of your doctor and her nurse towering over —what used to be— your untouched body. Her fingers inside you move faster, you can hear your body’s reaction and see Natasha’s concentration in her eyes. Weakly you shake your head no. Your skin on your chest feels hot. The medical gown you wore felt itchy on your skin. Your nipples pebbled through the thin material. With every move you whined at the feeling of the cotton dragging against your nipples. So sensitive.
“Let go, Y/N. I’m not asking.”
Natasha’s voice is enough to have you shaking in fear. She has all the power, she’s calling the shots.
“I don’t know how.”
Natasha sends Wanda a look that has the nurse smirking before nodding. You don’t know how her hand wasn’t tired from holding the mirror. It felt like you spread out open for the two of them for years. Natasha leans forward, blocking your own view of yourself. Bambi eyes meet Wanda’s because you don’t yearn for her hand to roughly meet your clit again. Her touch send tingles up your spine from the pain. Instead, you’re meet with something sweeter. Warm lips press a soft kiss on your clit. Eyes roll to the back of your head when you feel her tongue lick parts of you, you never even thought people wanted to taste.
Your hands have a mind of their own when your finger bury themselves in her red strands of hair. Pulling her mouth impossibly closer, whining when the pleasurable sensation would disappear if she lick too low. Your teeth clench when Natasha’s teeth lightly graze your clit. You want to let out a loud moan, but it’s swallowed by Wanda’s kiss.
Wanda, feeling a bit left out, took matters into your own hands and stole your first kiss. The kiss is messy. An inexperienced mouth paired with a brain clouded with first time sex wasn’t a smart choice. Teeth clash together, but Wanda doesn’t seem to mind. Her notebook and mirror were long forgotten as her hands slip beneath your medical gown and reach your breasts. Her lips find themselves wrapped around your tongue as she slowly pulls away there’s spit dribbling down his chin, it’s exotic. You have much time to process the wet dream of a woman right in front of you when Natasha works harder with her mouth and Wand’s fingers find your sensitive nipples. Rolling your nipples between her fingers while Natasha sucks, licks, bites, and kisses between your legs.
You feel your very first orgasm running you over like a truck. Your thighs shake as your body throbs in want. Natasha’s mouth doesn’t stop and Wanda’s fingers found their new home in your mouth. Latex-covered fingers trigger your gag reflex causing your eyes to blur with tears. You can’t see the way you soak your doctor’s face, but you get an idea when she pulls away and drags your hands away from her scalp and onto her face. Fingertips are met with a wet substance, then brought to your lips. Lips smeared with spit and a small hint of Wanda’s lipstick are now taking in a sweet taste.
“Such a sweet girl.”
Tuckered out, you don’t fulling understand the comment. You’re drained, literally, to a point you have no idea who spoke. You hear small shifts and feel hands on your knees. Wanda’s hands find the leather straps holding you down. You sigh, grateful for freedom. Only it never comes, the straps only tighten, you’re not sure how, but they do.
“Let’s try that again.”
Finally, the fic that’s long overdue. Don’t forget to reblog! If not comment :) also thanks for 4.3k followers!!
#my fav brand of nat and wanda#pussy doctors#dont forget to reblog!#wlwloverwrites#wlwloversfics#char: natasha romanoff#char: wanda maximoff#char: romanoff x maximoff#type: dark smut#dark natasha romanoff#dark natasha romanoff smut#dark wanda maximoff#dark wanda maximoff smut#dark natasha romanoff x reader#dark wanda maximoff x reader#dark natasha romanoff x reader smut#dark wanda maximoff x reader smut#wanda maximoff x reader x natasha romanoff smut#natasha romanoff x reader x wanda maximoff smut#wandanat x reader#wandanat x reader smut#natasha romanoff#Wanda maximoff#marvel#wlw marvel#scarlet witch#black widow
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that's the kind of love (i've been dreaming of)
pairing: wanda maximoff x fem!reader
desc: r's thoughts are rather loud, especially when she's asleep
word count: 1.2k
warnings: mommy kink, somnophilia, dub-con (since r is asleep, but prev negotiations/consent implied), fingering/simulated (???) fingering via wanda's powers (r receiving), face sitting (r giving), hair pulling, praise, edging (r receiving), bondage (through wanda's powers)
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you squirmed once again in your sleep, causing wanda to turn over groaning softly. she hadn't gotten a wink of sleep since she joined you in bed after she finished up some late-night paperwork.
she had been sleeping awfully because of your constant tossing and turning for most of the week, however, she didn't want to look into your mind to see what was bothering you, hoping you'd come to her to save her from the invasion. nevertheless, her patience was growing ever thinner and she was about to snap.
she turned to look at you, eyes wandering over your sleeping form, lingering at the sliver of skin exposed near your hip as your shirt had risen in your sleep. she reached out, her fingers grazing your warm skin, grinning as goosebumps erupted beneath her touch before caving and moving closer to you.
she gasped softly when she felt you push back into her, whining in your sleep. tilting her head, she decided to finally have a peek into your mind, confirming her suspicions about your dreams had been correct.
she dove deeper, paying closer attention to the content of your dreams, biting her lip to stifle a moan as she saw what you were dreaming of.
she saw a vivid image of her, perched over your face with her legs spread and her hands gripping your hair as she ground against you. she watched as her head tilted back and the vision of her fell over the edge, soaking your face as you looked the happiest you'd ever been.
wanda knew it had always been a fantasy of yours, however she wanted you to become more comfortable asking for what you wanted, so she had waited for you to broach the subject with her.
she grinned when she felt the real you desperately grinding against nothing, hoping for any sort of friction. she decided she wasn't going to wait any longer.
her fingers ran from your hip to the small patch of skin between your navel and the hem of your panties, tracing small patterns there. eventually she grew bored of teasing you and slipped her fingers into your panties, teasing softly over your folds, never dipping lower, grinning as you try to grind against her, whimpering as the ache between your legs grew.
"shh, it's alright, sweet girl. i've got you." she whispered as she finally spread your folds with her fingers, collecting your wetness, before running up towards your clit. she continues to work you up with your fingers, being careful not to wake you, smiling as you moan softly. "that's it, baby, let mommy know how good she makes you feel."
she increases her pressure and you begin to stir awake, moaning loudly in surprise as her fingers push into when you fully open your eyes. wanda chuckles softly, setting a steady pace as she begins to press loving, but firm kisses to your neck, surely leaving marks. "having good dreams, pretty baby?"
you gasp softly, grinding into her hand, "i-i-"
"shhh, honey, it's alright. i know your little head gets so fuzzy when mommy's fingers are filling you up, huh? that's okay, mommy will take care of it for you."
"y-you're....no-t m-mad..?"
"oh, sweetheart, of course i'm not mad. i mean i wish you'd told me, i could've made that pretty little fantasy of yours come true a lot sooner. but, no, i'm not mad."
you sigh, half in relief and half in pleasure as you relax further, enjoying the feeling of her fingers working you towards an orgasm. you push against them in rhythm with her thrusts, your head falling back towards her, as she presses kisses to your throat.
you feel yourself clench tightly around her fingers as she grazes a particularly sensitive spot inside of you, moaning her name loudly before letting out a prolonged whine at the feeling of her fingers dragging out of you.
"mommyyyyy"
"shhh, not yet, honey. mommy wants to make your dreams come true first."
wanda grins as she sees your eyes light up as you squirm in her arms. "eager, are we, baby?"
you nod, feeling the blood rush to your cheeks in embarrassment, squeaking softly when wanda grabs your face firmly to revert your gaze back to her.
"aww, no need to be shy, my love. it's cute you're so excited to make mommy feel good. now, lay back for me, honey."
you do as your told, before looking back up at wanda, biting your lip in anticipation. she removes her panties, tantalizingly slow, before crawling up your body situating her thighs on either side of your face, just out of your reach. you don't dare move a muscle, fighting the urge to reach out and drag her closer, fearing the consequences it would bring. you hear her hum softly above you, chuckling slightly before you flush at the realization she was listening to your thoughts.
she gives in to your obedience, rewarding you by inching closer to you "go ahead, baby."
and, by god, do you.
you hear her groan loudly, as your tongue swipes through her folds, determined to find her clit and circling it with just the right pressure once you find it.
"jesus christ, sweet girl. youre better at this than i expected, fuck..."
she grabs your hair, grinding down onto your tongue. your hands move to her hips, before she forces them down with her powers, causing you to whine under her, pleading with your eyes.
"shhh, baby, you can't touch. just let mommy do it, alright?"
you concede, the denial only pushing you to increase your efforts with your mouth. wanda rewards you with the phantom sensation of fingers, her fingers. you moan, looking up into her red-tinted eyes, to thank her with your own. she grinds harder against you, simultaneously creating a thrusting sensation with her magic.
"oh, fuck, sweetheart. mommy's close, do you think you can cum with me, love?"
you nod, your movements growing sloppier, feeling a mixture of your saliva and her juices coating the lower half of your face, trying your hardest to push her over the edge as you balance on the precipice of your own orgasm.
"so good for me, baby. such a good girl, that's it, my love. don't stop"
you moan, feeling her clench around your tongue and her cum drip down your face as you reach your own orgasm, legs shaking as you pant under her. you open your eyes and look up to see her head thrown back, her toned abdomen flexed slightly with the pressure and you nearly cum again at the sight.
once she's regained her composure, wanda crawls off of you, collapsing next to you on the bed. she brushes the stray hairs stuck to your face from the light sheen of sweat coating your body, before kissing your forehead and pulling you close. she wraps you in the blanket before whispering against your temple, "you did so well for me, lovebug. mommy's so proud of you. now get some rest, you more than deserve it."
#jules writing#char: wanda maximoff#mommy!wanda#wanda maximoff x reader#scarlet witch x reader#wanda#aximoff smut#avengers smut#marvel smut#avengers x reader#marvel x reader#avengers imagines#marvel imagines#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#marvel
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(sometimes goodbye is a) second chance
Date: March 25, 2024
Author: mattmurderock
Rating: General
Word Count/Status: 8,606, complete
Dynamic: Pietro Maximoff & Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff & Erik Lehnsherr, Pietro Maximoff/Clint Barton
Characters: Pietro Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff, Erik Lehnsherr, Steve Rogers, Clint Barton, Janet van Dyne, various other Avengers
Tags: Family Dynamics, Daddy Issues, Angst,
Summary: In the wake of Magneto's stunning revelation, Pietro Maximoff tries to cope with his past, his present, and his future.
#rating: general#uni: 616#team: avengers#char: pietro maximoff#char: wanda maximoff#char: erik lehnsherr#char: steve rogers#char: janet van dyne#char: clint barton#dyn: pietro maximoff & wanda maximoff#dyn: pietro maximoff & erik lehnsherr#tag: family dynamics#tag: daddy issues#tag: angst#length: 5k to 10k#status: completed#category: multichapter#rel: gen
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My precious little baby… dare I say one of her best looks… just wanna hold her and protect her and make her cum over and over again
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WANDA MAXIMOFF & NATASHA ROMANOFF
#marveledit#mcuedit#marvelladiesdaily#marvellegends#dailyteamcap#usermorgan#tuserabbie#usermarissac#usertreena#usergiu#useremi#userannalise#usermai#natasha x wanda#natasha romanoff#wanda maximoff#*#by: char
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Diversionary Tactics pt. 1
Ships: Wanda x Female!Reader - Natasha x Female!Reader
a/n: For Magda, here's to your 25th, and another year of growth, happiness, laughter, and love. I would have given you the world, but you won't let me so here is some smut instead. I'm so grateful to be your friend, and I cannot wait to watch you grow in the next year. Remember that I love you to the moon and to Saturn. @stonemags you did ask me to post it at the end of the day, doesn't get more the end of the day than a few minutes before midnight.
Summary: Everybody is pretty sure you're on a path to destroying yourself. You're pretty sure all you want is your strap down Wanda's throat. Opinions differ.
Warnings: 18+, top!reader, bottom!Wanda, face fucking, throat bulge, strap on, degradation, honorifics, vaginal sex, self loathing, angst. No beta we die like men.
Word count: 5k
‘’Alright kids, now remember, stick to plan,’’ Tony says severely, rising from his seat on the quinjet, ‘’no improv, no games, no funny business.’’ His eyes sweep across the room, and I feel his gaze lingering on me. I don’t look at him, instead pretending to be very interested in the map of the hydra base we’re about to invade. ‘’I want you all back here safe and sound, ready to be tucked in by Rogers and Hill at the end of the day, capiche?’’ From my periphery, I’ve been watching him move closer and closer, but now I can no longer feign ignorance. I look up slightly, Tony in his shiny red and gold suit, ready to close the armour over his face. When he speaks, it sounds like he’s addressing the whole group, but his eyes are locked firmly onto mine.’’
‘’And remember, don’t play the hero.’’
***
One by one, my colleagues jump from the jet, after they don their suits, and grab their parachutes if necessary. I watch as Steve checks Sam’s suit before allowing him to jump. Sam has barely disappeared from view before Tony grabs me by the scruff of my neck, pulling me away from the opening in the floor.
‘’Why aren’t you in your suit?’’ Annoyed, I bat his hand away, my bone hits the metal of his armour, and pain shoots up my arm, but I fight to keep my expression neutral. ‘’It’s not really my style, you know, with all that colour.’’ I’m well aware that I’m being difficult, but I can’t put a stop to it. I’m so exhausted that I’m ready to burn a whole city to the ground, myself along with it. The suit is incredible, but also flashy and extremely heavy. And maybe I enjoy making things harder than they need to be, so what? Tony stares at me incredulously, before turning to Steve as if to check if he heard my comment too. Steve just holds up his hands in defeat, ‘’I’m not getting caught up in this, Tony, handle it yourself.’’
Coward.
‘’Not your-’’ Tony halts, breathing sharply in utter annoyance, ‘’you know people have committed murder to get a hold of one of my suits.’’
‘’I’ll pour one out for them.’’
‘’Romanoff, help me, before I duct tape the kid to the wall,’’ Tony grumbles, pinching the bridge of his nose with his shining red fingers. The last thing I need right now is Nat with her lectures about what’s good for me, and while I know she means well, and I love her so much, I want nothing more than for her to just shut up. Both of them, actually.
Before she gets a chance to speak, I hold up a finger in the air. ‘’Actually, you know, this thing has been really bothering me lately.’’ Nat looks genuinely interested and concerned, and I almost feel bad for fucking with her. ‘’There’s this little bone in your jaw, apparently, I never knew about it before.’’ I use my fingers to pretend like I’m looking for something in my jaw. ‘’There,’’ I say, stopping near where my wisdom teeth once sat. ‘’Can you feel that?’’ Nat goes along with it, trying to mimic where I’ve placed my own fingers. ‘’I think I can feel something, yeah.’’
‘’Yeah, right there. Turns out, that bone allows you to shut the fuck up.’’
Both of them look furious, and I decide that this is my cue to get out. I hold up my hands in an imitation of Steve, walking backwards like I’m retreating and admitting my defeat. The parachutes are now right behind me, ready to be snatched up by my willing hands.
‘’Nat, I love you, I really do. And I respect the hell out of you, Tony, but it’s not going to happen.’’ Quick as a flash, my fingers secure one of the chutes, and with two quick steps, I’m at the edge of the open floor. ‘’I don’t need your suit, I’m feeling brave.’’
Nat and Steve both dive at me, but I’m too fast for them, letting myself fall backwards into the open sky.
Falling…
Falling…
Falling…
***
The fight was a disaster, to say the least. The mission was accomplished, but barely. Clint and Bucky both got wounded pretty badly, and everyone else has seen better days. I myself would have been crushed to death along with Peter and Natasha if Wanda hadn’t kept the bricks from falling just long enough so that we could make a quick escape. Still, one of the Hydra agents got me in the head with the but of his gun, causing blood to stream copiously from the wound, coating my face. I shot him in the foot for his trouble, though.
Tony has called us all to the medical bay, no doubt to lecture us all on our performance. Even I can’t find a reason not to obey this command, so I slow down my pace deliberately in order to fall behind the group.
Jumping from the jet without my suit wasn’t my best idea, but I made it to the ground in one piece. The landing was rough, though, and I seriously hurt my left leg in the process. My knee and ankle are still killing me now, but I try not to show too much of it. The injury seriously impedes my ability to run, slowing me down enough to be an easy target for the hydra agents. Nat and Tony had to save my ass more than once, and the thought of facing them after that show I put on in the jet is beyond embarrassing.
I need some way to recover from this bruise on my ego. I wouldn’t say I have a God complex per se, but I put a lot of stock in my fighting ability, and my performance today was severely lacking. I need a reminder that this is not who I am.
Instantly, my eyes find Wanda in the group of people walking ahead of me.
It’s almost accidental. Almost.
Her hair is in a ponytail, and she looks to be amongst one of the most unscathed team members. Wanda’s magic has been growing incredibly strong recently, and she most certainly doesn’t need a suit to keep herself safe. Still, her attitude doesn’t reflect her powers. In battle, Wanda is fierce, throwing around grown men like they’re rag dolls. Back at the compound, it is she who prefers to be thrown around like a rag doll.
I think that’s just what I need. Wanda gagging on my cock so loudly that the voice in my head calling me a failure finally shuts up.
‘’Hey,’’ Peter calls from behind me, breaking me away from the images in my head. The poor kid looks pretty beaten up, but he’s smiling in spite of it all. ‘’That was a tough one, huh? I almost thought Mr Stark was gonna call off the whole mission.’’ Peter’s limping, his right leg clearly too tender to stand on. My own leg feels like absolute hell, but I can’t let Pete struggle his way over to the med bay without help. ‘’Yeah, it was a tough one for sure. You got your leg hurt? Here, let me help.’’ I scoop one of his arms over my shoulder, helping him take some weight off of his leg. In turn, that puts extra weight onto mine, sending tendrils of pain shooting up all the way to my hip. This is no time for weakness, though, no time for pain or tears. I just grit my teeth and help Peter over to a bed in the medical bay, while he chats to me about how he saw a guy’s shoes get blown off his feet by the force of an explosion created by Strange.
To everybody’s surprise, and horror, it isn’t Tony giving us the lecture. Once we’re all grouped in the medical bay, surrounding our hurt team members in their beds, Maria Hill emerges from the side entrance of the bay. Behind me, I hear Scott curse, and Peter gives me a concerned look from where he’s sitting with his leg elevated.
‘’She looks really mad,’’ Wanda whispers, and a few of us who heard look over to where she stands with her back to the wall, nervously picking at the hem of her dress. Wanda is always so self-assured in battle, making seasoned warriors lose their minds with her magic. But out here it’s like she draws into herself completely, always needing reassurance and protection.
So, naturally, I go to her. Compared to me, Wanda looks like she just got out of a spa. There isn’t a spot of blood or dirt on her. Her knees are dusty, and she has a scrape on her forehead, but there’s no sign of it breaking the skin badly enough to actually release any blood. She’s just a little dusty. Meanwhile, the whole right side of my face and hair are covered in my own blood. Head wounds always bleed like they’re going to end your life, even if they’re not so serious. This one certainly doesn’t feel too bad, but that might be the adrenaline talking.
‘’You’re okay, dove.’’ I tell her, ‘’Hill might be mad, but she didn’t see what it was like out there. And besides, you did so well out there.’’
‘’Really?’’ She looks up at me with those pretty green eyes, full of innocence and disbelief, as if she can’t remember how she single-handedly saved three of her colleagues’ lives. I wonder how much of it is an act, but then, even if it is, do I really care? She gives me those same eyes when she sucks me off, and I certainly don’t care then.
For the most part, I manage to tune out Hill’s shrill voice as she lectures us like a bunch of naughty school children. I’m too occupied with Wanda trying to cuddle up to me, moving to stand with her back against my front, pressing her ass into my crotch.
She’s always desperate to be fucked after a fight.
‘’And next time, remember. Playing the hero doesn’t pay off, if I hear of anyone going into battle without a suit, you’re getting pulled from the team.’’ This most certainly catches my attention. She has enough grace to not address me by name, but everyone is looking at me anyway, so I decide to make use of the stage provided for me. ‘’Will you kick out Tony if he keeps making those ugly suits?’’ The reaction is a real mixed bag. Shuri doubles over with laughter, and Scott and Strange are fighting their smiles. Hill looks furious, and so does Nat, but I think the latter has something to do with my hand being placed firmly on Wanda’s midriff.
***
I act like Hill’s commentary doesn’t bother me, like Tony’s disappointment doesn’t sting. Fake it until you make it, right? I know I was wrong for doing what I did, but I seem to be rapidly losing control of any and all rational decision-making skills. I’m not trying to get myself killed, like my teammates are probably thinking. I don’t want to die, not yet, there’s still so much for me to see and do. But barely scraping the edge, coming face to face with it and walking away alive, that is a feeling like no other. It makes me feel untouchable, godlike even.
It’s almost as good as having my fist in Wanda’s hair as she tries to take my cock down her throat. She’s so desperate to please and be comforted that it’s almost laughable. The promise of getting tucked in at night, and fucked how she likes it, is enough to turn her into a desperate little whore.
She’s on her knees for me on her pretty white rug. My boots flank her on either side, some enemy’s blood visible even over the black of my combat boots. I can see my own face in the mirror on the opposite side of the room, the whole front of it is covered in my own blood, now dry and flaking off. Wanda didn’t even let me wash myself first, insisting that she likes me fresh from the fight.
She’s a pretty sight, kneeling between my feet like this, but she’s slacking off on taking my strap. I’m not in the mood for niceties today. I need to remind myself of the power I wield, before I allow myself to become overrun with weakness.
Wanda has one hand at the base of my cock, and she’s suckling prettily on the head. ‘’That’s cute, dove.’’ I say, leaning forward to grab her by the throat, ‘’but you know that’s not what I want.’’
I lay her down on her desk, so I can stand up instead of hunching over undignified on the bed. Her head hangs over one side, and her open mouth, wet and waiting, is much too inviting. The sound of her gagging is like music to my ears. This isn’t wholly selfish either, I have to remind myself. Poor Wanda, so tired of having to be a big girl all the time, just needs someone to put her in her place. Who am I to deny her?
She lays there so prettily, mouth wide open and willing, her legs spread and her hips bucking up in search of non-existent friction. I’m obsessed with the way my cock bulges in her throat, bobbing up and down along with my thrusts. I could cum just from the sight of this, and the noises Wanda makes below me as I take her. This harness has a soft silicone grinder that is made especially to sit snugly against my clit, and with the combined friction from the strap, and the sight of my cock deep in Wanda’s throat, it’s enough to put me right on the edge. I won’t let myself fall though, it will take me right out of this high and then the self-hatred will settle in. I’m not ready to face that. Even just the thought of it makes me shiver, and I have to ground myself in the moment to push those thoughts to the back of my mind.
I place first one, and then both of my hands over her throat, feeling the movement of my strap. My hands are large enough to cover her whole neck, and it’s nothing short of satisfying to be so utterly in control. At least with Wanda, I’m always the one standing tall. Her face is all red and saliva is running down her cheeks, gravity pulling it dangerously close to her eyes, where tears are dribbling steadily into her hairline.
Still, the strap isn’t all the way down her throat. We’ve been working on it, but she’s not quite there yet. I try to push her a little bit every time, and she’s been doing better and better. But it’s still hard for her. She lets out one gag so bad that I have to pull out completely for a second, allowing her to spit out a mouth full of saliva onto the floor. I’m not phased by this. Once you’ve seen men die in the worst ways possible, a little spit is nothing.
I squat down, holding back the stream of swears I want to let out at the horrible pain in my leg. I use my thumbs to wipe the saliva and tears away from her eyes, and I give her a kiss on her sweaty brow. ‘’You’re doing so well, princess. Can you try again for me? Just a few seconds, I want you to take all of me. You can do that for me, can’t you pretty girl?’’ She catches her breath slowly, her mouth still open. Already fucked dumb, and I haven’t even gotten to her cunt yet. She nods at me blearily, ‘’wanna make you proud, daddy.’’
Something in my chest contracts at that, but I couldn’t name the emotion if my life depended on it. For now, I try to focus on how wet the sight of her like this makes me. ‘’Good girl,’’ I say as I stroke the strap lightly, rubbing the head over her luscious lips. ‘’Just a few seconds, and then I’ll let you cum, okay?’’ She nods, and obediently opens her mouth further for me. ‘’Good, now relax your throat and let daddy do the work.’’
I hold her head securely, making sure it’s tipped back enough, before sliding my hands back over her throat, I’m going to want to feel this. I’m not gentle, and I really can’t find it in me to be sorry about that, not when this feels and looks like complete and utter euphoria. I fuck my cock into her with one sharp thrusts. She gags instantly and sputters, her hands reaching for my thighs trying to push me away, but I don’t let her. I reassure her softly that she’s doing great and that it won’t take long, which seems to make it easier on her. I push against the last bits of resistance, sliding the strap all the way in. I rut into her mouth, as deep as I can. The sounds coming from her are obscene, but I cannot bring myself to pull back. In the back of my mind, I’m counting seconds. I’ll allow myself to stay here and soak this in for 20 seconds. With my fingers, I press lightly on her throat to feel the bulge of my cock inside of her. The zip of my trousers digs into her skin, and I know it’ll leave a mark there.
The pressure against my clit threatens to undo me, and I let myself get dangerously close. I even grind my hips, fucking her throat lightly. One day, I’m going to hook a cum reservoir onto my strap and cum down her throat, along with my own orgasm. But not now. I have to control myself, so when the count in my head reaches 20, I pull out.
Wanda is back to spitting out saliva and gasping for air. She coughs a few times, and it sounds pretty rough. I help her up, cradling her in my arms. The hard work is done now, I assure her. For a few minutes, I sit with her draped over my lap on her bed. I cradle her head into my chest, petting her hair and whispering praise to her. ‘’You did so beautifully, dove. You’re getting so much better, do you remember how you couldn’t even take half of me when we first started?’’ She’s gone too far into subspace to really speak, but she’s still responsive, and I feel her nod.
‘’One day I’m going to be able to fuck you like that for 10 minutes straight, princess, and you’ll love every second of it.’’ This seems to stir something in her, because she mewls into me, spreading her legs slightly. We’re both still clothed, and I must say it’s a thrill to fuck Wanda with her dress still on. But not today. I strip her of everything except for her thigh highs, as they make her look like the slut I know she is.
She’s incredibly wet, her cunt swollen and red, moisture running down between her cheeks. I consider for a while if I should make her wait, but I don’t want to deprive myself of watching my cock disappear inside of her.
Instinctively, she tries to get on her hands and knees, but I’m not having that. I grab her by her waist and lay her down underneath me. I could almost laugh at her pained expression. She’s moaning already, and I haven’t even touched her yet. Using both of my hands, I part her thighs and push them up to her chest. Her breasts bounce slightly as I manhandle her into position, and my mind has already skipped ahead to watching them move in time with my thrusts as I fuck her.
I keep both hands steady on the backs of her thighs, folding her almost in half. I look down to where my strap stands at attention, teasingly I slide it over her slit, enjoying the way she writhes when the slightest pressure is applied to her clit.
Who’s going to tell her this is for me, and not for her?
In sharp contrast to how I fucked her throat, I slide myself in gently, allowing her some time to adjust. She’s gasping, and clawing at my clothed back, and I’m slightly upset that she’s not leaving deep red marks all over my bare back. Oh, well.
After a few short minutes of light teasing
She’s trying to move her hips against me, but I have her in such a tight hold that she’s getting nowhere. ‘’Tell me what you want, pretty girl,’’ I goad her. She huffs and puffs, her face still bright red, her hair sticking to the sweat on her brow and the semi dry salvia on her cheeks. ‘’Please, please, please,’’ she whines breathily, ‘’ruin me, daddy.’’
How am I supposed to deny a request like that?
I take my chain necklace into my teeth, so it doesn’t hurt her by smacking into her face, and I set a punishing rhythm for us both. My leg is killing me, but Wanda underneath me like this is such a captivating sight that I cannot stop myself. She holds me against her tightly, like she’s afraid I’ll let go. In her defence, I’ve left her like this multiple times, so the poor girl probably has trust issues.
Tears are falling freely from the corners of her eyes now, and I’m so focussed on that, that I don’t notice one of her hands leaving my back. She snakes it in between our bodies, so she can reach her clit. When she moans sharply and her body seizes up, I realize what she’s doing. Quickly, I reach down to snatch her hand away.
I pull my strap out in one swift movement. With my free hand, I squeeze her cheeks and force her to look me in the eye. ‘’That’s a shame, I was going to let you cum, but now you’ll have to work harder for it.’’
I decide to make her ride me.
It’s hilarious to watch her try to mount me with her shaky thighs. The poor thing is actually crying now, her tears dripping down all the way to her chest, along with her salvia. With one hand I hold both of her wrists tightly, with the other I rub her spit over her hard nipples, enjoying the way her hips twitch when I rub them in just the right way.
Once she manages to sink herself down on my cock, she thinks she can get away with grinding her way to an orgasm, but I disillusion her of that idea quickly. ‘’Nuh uh, baby, if you want to cum you’re going to have to work for it properly.
After a small fit of crying and whining, she gets down to work. Fucking herself until her already shaky thighs are on the verge of giving out. She has let her head hang forward, absolutely exhausted. All that I can hear now are the obscene, wet, sucking noises that come from between her thighs, and the exhausted little moans and pleas to relieve her of her ache.
She holds out for a heroic 15 minutes, until her thighs quite literally cannot keep her upright any longer. I had taken pity on her about 7 minutes into it, but it’s still impressive to watch her fight for it so hard. I take her face in both of my hands and kiss her forehead tenderly. ‘’Alright baby girl, you took that so well. Are you ready for your reward now?’’
In spite of her exhaustion, she nods, a soft whimper coming from her red and puffy lips. I put her on her elbows and knees, but within the first few thrusts she collapses under me. I hold her upright easily, fucking into her like it’s the last time I’ll be able to. She’s a bit too loud, and I know the others will have dirty looks for us tomorrow, but I really don’t care.
I place a sloppy kiss on her back as I finally reach down to rub her clit. ‘’You can cum whenever you need to, princess.’’ I grunt, as I use all my focus to keep up with the thrusts and the rhythm of my rubbing fingers.
Thankfully, it doesn’t take long. It’s impressive, really. In less than ten seconds, she’s cumming all over my fingers, her cunt clenching so tightly around my strap that it makes it hard to move as firmly as I would like. I fuck her right through her peak, and I’m prepared to push her into another, but Wanda is clearly done.
She’s shaking and shivering, her muscles weak and tired, she still tries to push me away. I’m tired myself now, so I don’t need any more incentive. I pull out of her and cover her tenderly with a blanket. She wants to go to sleep, and I don’t blame her. But I force her into a shower, sitting on the lid of the toilet, I watch over her to make sure she doesn’t pass out.
Once she’s freshly showered, I tuck her in. I lay on top of her sheets, which feels wrong in my state, covered in dust and dried blood as I am. Wanda doesn’t seem to mind, though. She begs me to stay, and I don’t have the heart to tell her I won’t. So, I comb my fingers through her fair, and kiss her slowly, telling her how good she’s been for me, and that it’s time to rest now. It doesn’t take her more than 15 minutes to fall asleep.
Once I’m sure she’s out, I tip toe my way across the room, and out into the hallway. Stupidly, I have my back to the hallway as I close the door. I try to shut it as softly as possible, not wanting to wake Wanda. I’m so tired after all of that, that my eyes feel heavy. I’m ready for a hot shower, and bedtime, before the thoughts of the mission can overwhelm me.
My room is next to Wanda’s, so I don’t expect any trouble, but really, trouble always shows up when you least expect it. In this case, trouble comes to me in the shape of Natasha Romanoff.
***
Nat corners me as soon as Wanda’s door is closed.
‘’What the hell have you been doing?’’
I narrow my eyes at her, not sure if she’s serious. I look down to the harness and strap in my left hand, and then look back to Nat. ‘’What do you want me to say, that we were braiding each other’s hair and talking about boys?’’
She crosses her arms over her chest. ‘’I don’t care what you get up to with her.’’
That’s debatable.
‘’I mean the mission today, and every mission we’ve been on this past month. What the hell has gotten into you?’’
I try to sidestep her, to get to my own bedroom door, but she blocks my path. ‘’You were out there trying to get yourself killed.’’ Nat hisses.
At this point I’m too tired to deal with this, so I snap back at her, ‘’Well, I’m clearly still alive’’
Nat’s eyes are boring into mine with such intensity that I would shrink away if I didn’t have a reputation to uphold. ‘’You going out there without a suit on? What do you call that?’’ She fumes.
I shrug, a genuine half smile creeping into my lips in spite of the dire circumstances, ‘’an adventure?’’
‘’That was attempted suicide,’’ Nat says severely, clearly not as amused as I am. I just snort, unable to keep myself from cracking a joke ‘’I’m going to show you attempted suicide’’
Her mouth forms a hard line, ‘’that’s not funny.’’ I know it’s not, and I can tell she’s upset, but I can’t wipe the stupid smile off my face.
She’s on the verge of saying something when the sound of a door opening makes us both turn around. Peter is standing in the doorway of his bedroom, wearing only a Captain America branded shirt and a pair of boxers. I quickly hide the strap and harness behind my back. ‘’Hey guys,’’ he says cheerfully, in spite of the limp in his step. ‘’I was going to make myself a freezer pizza, you want anything?’’
Nat gives him a tight smile and shakes her head. ‘’No, thanks, Pete,’’ I tell him, ‘’I still haven’t cleaned up, I’ll get something after.’’
Seeming to pick up on the uncomfortably loaded energy, he pulls an awkward face and shoots a pair of finger guns at us. ‘’Okay, well I’ll hide a margarita pizza for you underneath the ice cubes, so you won’t get stuck with the Hawaiian.’’ Peter really is a good friend, I decide. ‘’Thanks, kid, I owe you one,’’ I say, watching him limp clumsily towards the kitchen. Once the door has fallen shut behind him, Nat grabs my upper arm and tries to pull me towards her own bedroom. I shrug her off.
‘’I want to shower, Nat, I’m covered in blood.’’
‘’And Wanda’s cum.’’
‘’Jealous it’s not yours?’’
Her eyes are ablaze with fury now, and there’s no hiding it. ‘’You’re trying to kill yourself, and I’m not going to sit here and watch you lose yourself.’’
‘’Nat, I’m fine.’’ I say, slowly losing my smile.
‘’You don’t look fine.’’
‘’Then stop fucking looking at me.’’
It comes out much louder than I had intended for it to, and it startles me slightly. I can see Nat is taken aback by it too, but she’s not afraid. Her expression shifts from anger to concern in a matter of seconds. ‘’
‘’Can you just listen to me? Please, if not for your sake, then for mine. I’m not your enemy’’
I can’t argue with this, not when she looks so upset and my conscience is screaming at me after that outburst. I weigh my options in my head, I can go to the kitchen with Peter and god knows who else, and face all of their questions about why I went into the fight without a suit, and why I haven’t showered yet. Alternatively, I could try to barricade myself in my room, and ignore Nat, but I have a nasty feeling that this won’t take me very far.
‘’Fine,’’ I say, deciding this will be the least painful option in the long run. ‘’Fine, Nat, whatever, but I’m tired, so please keep this short. And don’t lecture me any more about the suit, Hill already did that plenty.’’
‘’Just put that thing away,’’ she says, waving vaguely at my strap.
‘’And here I was thinking you wanted a round too.’’
#char writes#diversionary tactics#wanda x reader#natasha x reader#c: wanda maximoff#c: natasha romanoff#wanda maximoff fanfiction#natasha romanoff fanfiction#top!reader
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my fav characters!! :33
(characters i see myself in)
#char talks ♡#adventure time#little women#teen titans go#harry potter#into the spider verse#the amazing spider man#wandavision#high school musical#princess peach#barbie#wanda maximoff#starfire#princess bubblegum#gwen stacy#spider gwen#hermione granger#sharpay evans#amy march
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Your Prettiness is Seeping Through II (Wanda Maximoff x Reader)
Warnings: maybe bungled the medical stuff and process of being admitted, suicidal ideation, aftermath, descriptions of self harm kind of? its not like currently happening. Bulimia and what comes with it. Those r the main things I think.
----------------------------------------------------
-------the shame is manifest in my resistance-------
❅❅❅
“So they’re admitting you?”
You could feel the snow being crushed beneath your weight as you leaned back on your hands. The sun was beginning to dip below the horizon and your best friend was sitting next to you on a random curb, taking the pack of cigarettes from your hand.
It was mid-winter. The city streets bustled with the cheer of festive Christmas decorations and the harmonies of carolers. It almost makes you feel better. You never cared for Christmas, or religion in general, but the joy in the little kids’ faces at the snow blanketing the streets, and the laughing of teenagers having snowball fights was cute.
It helped.
You sigh, turning towards your friend, “No, I don’t think so. Most that’ll happen is I’ll be in therapy, I guess.”
She rubs her hands together in an attempt to warm up, “I think I’d kill myself if I got caught. Kidding, you’ll be fine. Probably.”
You scoff, “Thanks,”
You snatched the pack from her hand, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.
You had gotten over the fear of throat cancer a long time ago. It’s more of an expectation than a fear now. Smoking and purging at the same time kind of makes it an inevitability. The thought of death didn’t scare you. Not that you were cripplingly suicidal. You didn’t desperately want to die anymore, you just wouldn’t mind if you did. If you died from all of these habits, it was fine, great even. If not, whatever.
Passively suicidal.
Tomorrow, you’ll have your long awaited psych evaluation. You were shocked that it wasn’t the first thing they’d done. You weren’t that big of a risk anyways. A week has passed since your parents caught you, and you’d been made to take a number of medical tests to determine the severity of your bulimia, or something.
The first one was a general physical assessment, the most simple yet most uncomfortable. You had been made to wear a hospital gown, which you felt was overboard but whatever. They wouldn’t be able to admit you just based off of a BMI measurement, you were sure. You weren’t very underweight, most bulimics you knew weren’t. In fact, most of them were normal, sometimes overweight, but you just assumed it was because they were bad at it. You didn’t feel anything looking at your weight. Numbers mattered, sure, but with every binge and purge, your weight fluctuated like crazy, so you learned to just look for signs of weight loss via mirror.
She read your BMI out loud, you knew it wasn’t low enough to be a concern. You internally celebrated, until you noticed her eyes glancing down to your arm.
Shit.
Burning was your preferred method of self mutilation. Cutting was unsatisfying, messy, and a pain in the ass. Burns look disgusting when they heal though, which was the only downside. The scars are easily passable as cooking accidents and such. When they’re still healing, though, charred, blistered, and disgusting, they’re almost impossible to excuse. Your mom had caught you once, with your worst burn nonetheless. One offer of taking over the chores for the day and she was off your back, already taking her place on the sofa.
The burns weren’t fresh, not at all. Most of them were years old, but you panicked nonetheless. You’ve seen how batshit they get at any sign of self harm. You watched as she glanced towards your arm, then turned back to her clipboard, writing something down. Subtly moving your other arm behind your back, you cover up the bruises on your knuckles.
You also had to go to a dentist appointment. Last time you went, you had just gotten your braces off and permanent retainers in. You still have glue on the back of your teeth from when your top retainer broke, they had never gotten rid of it. With how often it fell off, you were glad the dentist had given up on putting in replacements.
You were more worried about this appointment than the physical assessment. You couldn’t keep food down, smiling with your eroded teeth was uncomfortable, and your breath was horrible. The dentist would definitely notice something, at the very least that you were a smoker. Your mother would hate that more than bulimia.
Honestly, despite all of these effects, you got the benefit of barely having a gag reflex. Which, now that you think about it, doesn’t really matter considering you don’t even like men.
Surprise was clear on your face when your dentist complimented you on the health of your teeth and sent you on your way.
You didn’t really know what the other tests were, something about heart arrhythmias and electrolytes. You didn’t care, you were so over it. It was all bullshit. You weren’t sad. You weren’t suicidal nor were you a danger to yourself or others. You were just bulimic, not on the brink of fucking brain collapse.
All of this was bullshit.
❅❅❅
Wanda’s senses come back one by one. Her ears pick up the soft whirring of machinery and occasional beeping of monitors. The soft footsteps of nurses and patients walking past, the opening and closing of a door as doctors enter, the scratching of their pens against their clipboard. The lingering scent of antiseptic reaches her nose, and the bitter taste in her mouth makes itself known. Her fingers pinch the stiff material of her gown, and she can feel the IV in her arm. Finally, she opens her eyes.
Waking up in the fiery depths of hell would’ve been better than where Wanda was right now. She mumbled curses under her breath as she looked around, taking in the hospital equipment around her.
“Natasha?” She croaked out when she caught sight of her friend sleeping on the hospital chair in the corner of the room. Natasha jumped up, wiping the drool off her chin and rushing towards Wanda. “Oh, thank god.” She sighed, pulling Wanda into an awkward hug.
She pulls back when she realizes Wanda wasn’t hugging her back. “How do you feel?” Wanda cringes at the pity on Natasha’s face. “Peachy.” She turns away, not stopping Natasha when she reaches to grab her hand.
The widow sighs, rubbing circles into Wanda’s hand, making her fingers twitch slightly. They sit in silence, not knowing what to say to each other. Wanda was glad Natasha had found her. She didn’t want to be found at all, but at least it was Natasha.
She was so stupid, so fucking stupid. Of course it wouldn’t have worked. She should’ve just shot herself in the head, like a man. She’d read somewhere that men have higher suicide rates because they carry it out in more extreme ways. Girls usually go for lighter, prettier deaths. Overdoses, slitting their wrists in a rose petal filled bathtub, and such. More survivable, and less of a burden for whoever cleans up after them. Men don't feel the same obligation. So what if it's more work for the cleaners? A shotgun to the head is easier for them, that's what matters. They don't think about how puffy their face would get if they hung themselves, or how awkward they'd be positioned on the ground if they jumped off a building. They don't think about the possibility of surviving afterwards and dealing with the deformity.
Pietro’s lifeless body flashes in her mind.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
Wanda finally notices the iron grip she had on Natasha’s hand.
She didn’t want to talk about Pietro. Never. “What’s going to happen to me?”
Her friend looks away, “You’re suspended until you get help.”
“What! No!” Wanda sits up, snatching her hand out of Natasha’s grip, “This was the first time! Bruce tried to kill himself, why isn’t he suspended?”
“That was before he even joined.”
Wanda sighs, “So, what like, therapy for a week?”
Natasha raises her eyebrows, “Wanda, you tried to kill yourself. You need to be monitored.”
“I’m not a fucking child. Jesus, Nat!”
“It’s not up to me, Fury’s orders. Either get help or you’re fired, basically.”
“Don’t I need a psychological evaluation or some shit?”
“Wanda, you swallowed a whole bottle of whatever-the-fuck pills. I can evaluate you right now. You’re fucked in the head, babe.” Natasha attempts to joke.
She sighs in relief when Wanda huffs out a laugh, “So, you’re sending me to the loony bin?”
“Yup. It’ll be great though, perks of being an Avenger.” Natasha places a comforting hand on Wanda’s shoulder.
“How long will I be there?”
Natasha grabs Wanda’s hand that’s picking at her gown, “Until you’re better.”
The sound of a girl yelling stops their conversation.
❅❅❅
“Inpatient would be the best option…”
The ringing in your ears blocks out whatever the doctor was saying. What the fuck. You were not crazy. So what if you were bulimic. You didn’t constantly starve yourself and avoid food so you were chill, but you also were not getting fat, so you were hot. It’s like a win-win.
You’re sitting with your parents, a doctor across from you. He must be a therapist, or psychologist…psychiatrist? Potato, Tomato.
A hand on your shoulder brings you back to earth. Tears are pooling in your mothers eyes, your father is sighing into his hand. “What about my classes? My life!”
“Lower your voice. You aren’t being sent away to the fucking Alcatraz.” Your father grits out.
The doctor chimes in, “I’m sure you’ll be able to do your school work, most institutions let you have books and supervised computer time.”
You push your mothers hand off your shoulder. “Why are you doing this to me?”
She scoffs, “Me? Why are you doing this to yourself!”
“You can’t make me!” Passersby can hear your voice through the closed door of the office.
It was true, they couldn’t really. You were a legal adult, they couldn’t make you do shit. Your mother pinches the bridge of her nose before turning to your father expectedly. You look back and forth between them with an eyebrow raised.
“We won’t support you anymore if you don’t do this.” He finally pushes out.
“What? As if you’ve ever supported-”
Oh. Financially. College and such. Housing and such. Food…and such.
You’re not that level of adult, yet.
“What the fuck-”
“Language!”
“No! What the actual fuck! I’m not sick!”
Your father’s face contorts in anger, “Did you not hear a single word the doctor said? Your potassium levels, electrolytes, and heart are all fucked! You could have a heart attack!” He takes a breath,
“You are killing yourself.”
“What?” You don’t know what to say. Why is your heart beating so fast?
You let out a frustrated shriek, getting up to leave. They don’t know what they’re saying. You storm out of the office, narrowly avoiding passing nurses and stretchers, trying to ignore the sense of dread building within you.
Heart attacks were a lame death. You could imagine how stupid you'd look; jaw wide open, leaning back in your desk chair, clutching at your chest. The door to your room is always locked, so your parents wouldn’t care to check for a while. They’d just assume you were isolating yourself.
Stiffening up in that position, rotting and decomposing. So lame, so ugly.
It didn’t scare you.
Your head ricocheting off a wall interrupts your spiral.
Natasha winces, peaking over the door to find you on the floor, rubbing your head. Wanda had asked her to check what was going on, and you happened to be passing by at the same time she opened the door. You push yourself off the floor before Natasha could help you up. Black spots appear in your vision and you start swaying. You must’ve stood up too fast.
Natasha holds you up as you fall into her for a second, before you regain your bearings.
“Get off me!”
She lets go immediately, raising an eyebrow when you double-take at the sight of Wanda.
‘She’s so skinny.’
Wanda looks up at you, confused when she takes you in. You could’ve been the same weight as her, if not a little more. She doesn’t read people's thoughts if she can help it, but yours were so loud. You blush when she makes eye contact with you, turning and stomping away.
Your footsteps fade as Natasha closes the door, making her way back to Wanda. The widow smiles at Wanda, poking her side, “I think she has a crush on you.” Wanda’s eyes widen, “No way; she said I was skinny.” Natasha tilts her head, “Like in a disgusted way?” The witch looks down at her hands.
She assumed it was envy at first, but you didn’t look like you weighed significantly more than her. Nor was it disgust, based off of how you looked at her.
“Not…really. I don’t know.”
Natasha sighs, “Well, it doesn't matter. We’ll fatten you up in no time.”
She winces at Wanda’s obviously forced laugh.
She didn’t like being skinny, but it was an effect of her depression. It wouldn’t be that easy to reverse. The only reason she was open to this treatment was so that she could go back to work. She’ll just pretend to get better, go back, and work until she can’t take it anymore. Next time, she’ll use a gun. Actually, would she subconsciously stop the bullet with her powers? The pills almost killed her, maybe she’d just lock her door next time. She could pick up smoking, maybe that’d be like a backup. A slow, eventual death could be happening in the background while she found short term options. Multitasker.
“What’re you thinking about?”
Wanda is taken out of her reverie as Natasha pokes at her stomach again. She smiles, shaking her head and curling up into the bed. The older redhead pats her shoulder, “The squad’s going to visit before you leave. Just thought I’d give you a heads up.”
Wanda groans, she didn’t need any more people up her ass.
She stiffens at the sound of sniffling, looking up when she feels her shoulder dampen.
“Don’t ever do that again.”
Natasha leans over her frame, hair masking her face. The brunette stammers, racking her brain for a reply. She’d never seen Natasha so emotional. It was like hearing Steve use slang.
She sighs, curling further into herself and ignoring Natasha. She wishes she could reassure her. Tell her that even the thought of trying again made her nauseous, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t live the rest of her life seeing her brother's corpse every time she blinks.
Living with the memory of Pietro’s death for the rest of her life was worse than any torture she’d ever endured.
She ignores the flashing images as her eyes drift close, falling asleep to the sound of Natasha’s sniffling.
❅❅❅
A/N: I lowk regret writing in in second person but yolo. reply to this post if u wanna get tagged in the next chapter. I hope you enjoyed!
Tags: @mathxa @nikkinss
#marvel#marvel imagine#mcu#mcu imagine#mcu fandom#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff#scarlet witch#the scarlet witch#wanda maximoff imagine#scarlet witch x reader#wlw#reader#x reader#sapphic#fanfiction#fanfic#writing#neutral milk hotel#femcel#fiona apple
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.•° ✿ °•.
WANDANAT’S KIDS
°•. ✿ .•°
Parents: Natasha Romanoff & Wanda Maximoff
Children: Rose Romanoff, Grace Maximoff & Charlotte Maximoff
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Honestly this is mainly for us, but if anyone would enjoy reading about our family, feel free🤍
ABOUT THE FAMILY
Rose is 4 years older than Grace and Charlotte, and they are twins.
Natasha is mom/momma. Wanda is mama.
Natasha gave birth to Rose, and Wanda to Grace and Charlotte.
Godparents:
Rose: Maria & Clint
Charlotte: Yelena & Thor
Grace: Pietro & Carol
Fighting abilities/powers:
Rose: Copy of Nat, she trained her in hand to hand combat.
Charlotte: No powers straight away but develops mind reading abilities like her mama.
Grace: Copy of Wanda’s wiggly woos, but purple rather than red.
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ONE SHOTS
- Drunk momma
- Visiting grandparents
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Q&A:
Who would be the strictest parent? Realistically Natasha would be strict, and fairly scary when you were in trouble. Wanda would be more calm and level headed.
Do the girls know their mothers’ families? Yes. Both Natasha and Wanda’s families. Their uncle Pietro of course, his goofy nature reflecting in his youngest niece Grace. They’re close to their aunt Yelena too, who quickly picked a favourite in her cheeky niece Lottie, often stealing her to spent time with her favourite little one. They also see their grandparents: Melina and Alexei. The twins being a little scared of both, while Rose adores her grandma Melina, opting to stay close whenever she gets the chance to.
Do the mothers have favourites? They love their daughters all equally, but they favour the girls for different reasons. Given that Nat managed to have a baby girl despite the sterilisation from the Red Room, she couldn’t help when her eldest stole a certain place in her heart. Wanda adores all of her kids but Grace spends her time following her mama around like a little duckling. Now Lottie is just everyone’s favourite, she’s so sweet and lovable that just everyone adores her, especially her sisters.
Do they have any pets? Yes. Charlotte has a cat, whose name is Smoky, she’s white and grey. Nat and Wanda have strict rules about where Smoky can be because Rose is allergic to cats, so they try keep her to Char’s room mainly. Grace has a white bunny rabbit called Thumper.
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Comforting (from the girls’ pov)
Mom (Natasha) would love to play with your hair, and braid it whenever you would let her.
If you had a nightmare they would both rush into your room and carry you back to theirs, first like washing your face with some cool water and maybe taking you downstairs to have a drink and get some fresh air or offer you some fruit. Then they’ll take you back upstairs where they’ll like keep you cuddled between them; Nat would play with your hair while wanda rubs circles on your back. Wanda would either hum a sokovian lullaby or maybe read you a story if she needed to soothe you. You’d either lay between them or on top of one of them and fall back to sleep quickly and Wanda would use her magic to give you a nice dream and to make sure you don’t have another bad one.
Moms also do a date night twice every month and on those nights the girls have to play a board game or just any game and whoever wins gets to choose who to stay with.
Mama always does the cooking, usually playing her favourite music and singing along as she does.
Natasha loves to train with Rose, it’s one of her favourite things to do.
Everytime Yelena comes to visit the girls, she always runs for Charlotte first, picking her up and swinging her around.
The mothers are fairly protective, particularly Natasha, always wanting to make sure her babies are safe and okay. Rose is also very protective over her little sisters, never wanting them to fight and upset each other, but definitely not letting anyone else upset them.
On the days where you really don’t feel like you can do anything, such as eat, wash, even get up. She’ll always be there to assist you. She’ll bring you food and even feed you herself if it’s that hard. She wouldn’t mind either as if would break her heart but she has always loved being needed, especially by her children. So she would feed you, then help you change if it was necessary. She’d do little things to encourage you to get up, such as say “if you walk with me to the bathroom then I’ll order you something of your Amazon wish list” or something corny like that. She’ll help you wash, say like sit you on the bathroom floor and just clean your face with a flannel. She’ll stay in bed with you and watch some of your favourite movies. She’ll read to you. She will remind you that everything is going to be okay and that you’re loved and safe. She’ll just do everything in her power to cheer you up. Wanda would hold you as you cry, holding you tightly so you can’t move or act impulsively, she would just hold you tight as sometimes being held tightly like that can help calm people down. She wouldn’t let you go and just keep reaffirming the same comforting words over and over again until you where a lot calmer again. Then talking it over with you. She would just be there and she would make sure you know that you are loved more than anything, especially by her.
Nat will spoil us with presents whenever she sees any that reminds her of one of us, she be coming home with at least five gifts and that happens like three times a week, Wanda sometimes tells her off for it, bc the presents sometimes take a big space of the house, like the bouncy house she placed in the living room on a random day, bc it reminded her of us, especially on our birthdays we’ll get lots one time even Disney cruise tickets.
Wanda will always do her best to make sure we are never feeling lonely, she’ll constantly check in on us even if we aren’t in the mood but she will do it anyways. She will always ask if you wanna play a game, cuddle, talk or even just sit in silence. If you’d prefer to be alone she’d make sure you where in the right mindset before letting you do your own thing, still being suspicious and watching over you but giving you your space. She loves 1 on 1 time as well as family time, but sometimes she prefers to just be the 2 of you so she can check in on you more personally. Like ask you how everything’s going without it being so much pressure as it isn’t in front of anyone so you feel as if you can really open up, and she’d always reassure you that it’s okay if you where to do so. She’d keep you close and gives you many kisses.
Momma tickles us whenever she gets the chance too, she’s braiding your hair? Tickle monster is coming, you’re watching a movie? Tickle monster is coming too, you’re reading/ doing homework? Tickle monster is always here bc she just wants to hear our laughs bc they bring so much joy to her, and after all of that tickling torture, she’ll give you a big hug and a peck.
Nat would check on our bedrooms, late at night to make sure everyone is comfy in their bed, and have their blankets covering them to make them feel warm at night, and to make sure everyone is okay and not having any nightmares, she sometimes can’t resist cuddling with us while we’re fast asleep. Once she’s sure that all of us are okay she’d give us some forehead and cheek kisses before going back to sleep.
Wanda would use her magic to calm anxiety. Hear me out on this, she can use her wiggly woos to quieten our mind with the things we like, and to just calm our body in general. It’s like if she had a net for the butterflies in our stomach. She’s great at words of wisdom and saying things that are helpful in the moment. Nat is great at life advice and is always helpful in that way.
Nat likes our hair, she’s always trying to braid it or style it in one way or another. She likes to try unique hairstyles and will usually have us sat on a pillow as she’ll carefully like braid our hairs or plait them. She was also always on head lice patrol when we were younger.
Wanda loves to sing sokovian lullabies to us no matter our age and she’s been doing it to us since we where little, she specifically does it calm us down or to get us to sleep or if we’ve had a bad day.
#elizabeth olsen#natasha romanoff#wandanat#wandavision#wanda maximoff#scarlett johansson#black widow#family#moms#lizzie olsen#the avengers
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wanda maximoff x black!male!reader.
reader gets badly hurt during a mission and wanda nurtures him back to help. to show how grateful he is, he finds all of her favorite skovian snacks and/or stuffed plushies. just total fluff and soft smut if wanted.
𝐀 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 || 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚 𝐌𝐚𝐱𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐟𝐟
“𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦
𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘥
𝘛𝘰 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘮 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘔𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘥
𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦, 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥
𝘖𝘩, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘢 𝘚𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦”
Inspo: Etta James - A Sunday Kind of Love
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Black!Male!reader
Summary: Dancing around feelings would only last until Sunday, the start of a new week...
Warnings: none (very tiny bit of angst) because this shit is adorable
Words: 2822
“How’s he been doing?” Natasha’s voice gently pulled Wanda from her thoughts. Blinking rapidly and turning her gaze to the rose-coloured-haired woman. Finding the enchanting assassin to already be watching her with an inquisitive look in her eye. This was something Wanda should be used to since she confessed to a few unannounced feelings she felt toward a specific man. “Been up since he got back from the mission?”
Wanda tilted her head slightly, eyes looking toward the ceiling. Fingertips gently danced along the exterior of her glass filled with a wine that had appeared in the kitchen one day. “He’s stubborn. Doesn’t like the help even when I could knock him over with a tiny press of my finger to his stomach,” Wanda explained, lips slowly curving into a tiny smile. “But his physical therapy has been going well. His skin has been healing slowly, so he’s still very sensitive to the touch.”
When you came back from your mission with Steve, Wanda had been by your side the moment you the Quinjet landed on the helipad. She remembers the sight of your uniform charred with the fabric of your sleeves burnt, revealing your skin that had been caught in some type of fire or explosion. And then she remembered you holding a charming smile when she met your tired gaze. But that had been swiftly followed by you collapsing and Wanda using her powers to stop your fall.
Natasha hummed, shrugging her shoulders. “When he joined S.H.I.E.L.D. he was a pain in the ass. But now, dare I say, he’s slightly easier to work with,” she said. “But with you nursing him back to health, I am sure he’ll soften up some more. Even if it’s just with you.”
“Speaking of Y/n-” Wanda pulled back the sleeve of her denim jacket, looking down at her watch. “-I need to grab him really quick.”
“The rest of the team will be spending out at the Jackpot by the time you get back,” Natasha told her. “So, if you want to come out after you bring him back, then swing by.”
“I don’t think I can,” Wanda sighed, grabbing her keys from one of the drawers. “Y/n’s has to eat, take his painkillers, and then try to sleep. All those steps involve my help which I am fine to do.”
When she heard a quiet snicker, she looked up and found Natasha hiding her lips behind her glass. Making her crack a smile, brows furrowing in confusion. “What are you giggling about?”
Still taking a sip, Natasha hummed with a wave of her hand. “It just seems like you two are together already from the way you talk,” she pointed out. “It’s adorable how much you care about him. Like you two are an old married couple.”
Wanda felt the heat from her body rise and nestle in her face. In the weeks of Wanda helping nurse you back to health, there had been some form of trust and care felt from both sides. Which made Wanda only want to get you back to the best state she could. If that meant driving you around, making you food, using her powers to help you go to sleep when your burns became irritated by the bed, she did it all for you. And maybe that was just her being naive and allowing her feelings to become apparent in her acts of kindness.
“Ok, I’m going to go now. Have a good night with the team, Nat.” Wanda quickly rushed out of the kitchen, hoping to avoid and run away from the older woman’s statement.
But Natasha sat there, a smirk etched on her lips as she shook her head. “Love birds.”
Arriving at the physical therapy that you’d been going to for about two months, Wanda stood in the lobby of the physical therapy office. Through the double doors, she could see you talking to a nurse helping you recover from your injuries. In the mission, you’d suffered a broken light leg with extreme 4-degree burns that left you bedridden for weeks before you started taking things slow with your movements. Wanda had been there for every step you took, holding your hands and helping you move through your room until you eventually were given crutches to move on your own.
But with also being able to see you, she could hear your thoughts, and theft undoubtedly put a smile on her face. Able to listen in on the pure boredom running through your head and how you just wanted to be gone and back at the tower drinking some coffee and watching a movie. Yet, on the surface, you wore an interested look on your face that could get by the nurse who was likely explaining your exercises on Tuesday. But you could care less. You just wanted to enjoy your Sunday.
When you were finally let go by the nurse, you hobbled your way over with a deadpan. Able to see the amused look on Wanda’s face through the glass. Entering the lobby, you glared. “Not one word, Maximoff.”
“But you look adorable when you’re grouchy,” she teased, earning a groan from you. She opened the front door, allowing you to go first before she followed. “When we get back, you can just enjoy whatever TV show you’re going to watch. I’ll make you some coffee.”
God, tonight is going to be amazing
“Just remember that you owe me after this.” Wanda looked at you, finding you inhaled deeply, exhaling heavily.
“Get out of my head, Wanda,” you muttered. “Don’t need you poking around at the stuff that you shouldn’t.”
Since you met her in that old base that housed Klaue and Ultron, she had poked her way into your thoughts. Made memories rise to the surface and remind you of the darkness that clouded it. That was the last and only time you would ever allow her to do such a thing. But now, her being a part of the team and taking care of you, your leniency with her use had wavered. If it meant putting your mind at ease before you slept, then you allowed it. If she wanted to poke around and hear your sarcastic comments when Tony went on rambling about one of his projects, you allowed it since it made her laugh. But to access memories and put you in a state where you had trouble seeing the differences between history and the present, you would never allow it.
“New nurse,” Wanda pointed out, hearing you hum in acknowledgement. “Cassandra couldn’t come in today?”
Opening the passenger door, you sighed. “Yeah, she had some business to take care of today,” you explained. “Her apprentice took care of me today. Not a terrible girl, just was way too thorough than I’d like.”
Slipping into the seat, Wanda leaned down and smirked. “You don’t like anything that doesn’t appeal to your moral compass.” And before you could protest, she shut the door on your face. Silencing you as you exhaled heavily and leaned back in the seat. Glancing over when Wanda got inside, not waiting to pull out of the parking lot and make her way toward the Avengers tower.
The two of you sat in silence for the majority of the ride. That familiar comfort falling over the two of you that needn’t be accompanied by any conversation. It was the beauty of the relationship you two had. There wasn’t any need for words when the presence of one another was enough to relax. And even when you got to the tower, the two of you didn’t speak. Just standing by one another in the elevator till the doors open with the two of you stepping out into the lounge.
Truthfully, Natasha wasn’t exactly entirely wrong in her statement earlier. Wanda was beginning to see the relationship you and she had as something natural. Something that didn’t need to be made official when your guys’ words and actions spoke more than a title connecting the two of you could. For you, even when you were a belligerent fool, you still showed your care and love toward the witch. Because every day when you woke up to the sound of her soothing voice, you felt like there was something to get up to. Like there was something calling and urging you to get started with your day.
Exiting the elevator, you followed Wanda toward the kitchen. “The rest of the team went out to drink. So, you won’t have to deal with any of them for the majority of the night.” Wanda tossed the keys onto the island, moving toward the coffee machine. “I can make you a cup of coffee if you want to go get changed into something more comfortable.”
Wanda looked back at you, seeing you lean your crutches against the island and carefully begin to move through the kitchen. No word was spoken with your actions of grabbing ingredients. And when you came by her side, you placed your hand on her lower back, smiling. “I’m going to need you to scoot over, darling.”
The nickname struck an anvil in Wanda’s heart, the sparks of a burning metal resting on her cheeks She quickly stepped away and allowed you to grab the bottle of red wine she and Natasha had been drinking hours ago. You grabbed two glasses and began to pour. “You can sit and relax,” you told her. “I’m going to make you dinner.”
She wanted to protest and use her powers to sit you down, but she knew what that would result in. Likely you ignore her for the rest of the night or an argument starts over her actions. Either or, she didn’t want to deal with that, and the offer was too good to let down. Especially with her curiosity brewing with the wonder of what scheme you were brewing.
So, she took the glass you extended to her and sat on the island. Legs crossed as you moved with an elegance only a chef could have. Yet, she often needed to remind herself that all her cooking techniques had been from you. Because before you became gifted or cursed with the super soldier serum, you were chef down in the streets of New York. If she remembers correctly, you worked in Hell's Kitchen right next door to where one of your lawyer friends worked.
It often became hard for her to think of you ever being anything else besides a hero. On the battlefield, you were a brutal human being. In the way, you disposed of the opposition or in your moral compass and what you believed was right. So, seeing you cut up these carrots with speed and precision was new every time she sees it.
Glancing up from the cutting board, you met Wanda’s gaze. Her hands zeroed in on your hands, lips slightly parted, and a layered look in her eyes of something you could identify. Making you smirk, clearing your throat. The sound made her blink rapidly, looking up at you inquiringly. “It amazes me that I don’t need powers to understand what you are thinking, Wanda.”
“It’s not like that,” she defended, biting her bottom lip. “It’s just hard to think that you used to do this. After seeing the things you’ve done in the field-”
“I did those things to keep the team and world safe,” you interjected softly, dumping the carrots into the pot of boiling water. “Everything I will do has a reason to it. So, although I understand what you are trying to say, it doesn’t mean I have forgotten what makes me human.”
Wanda bit the inside of her cheek, head slightly tilting as she stares at you. “I think even when I’ve seen you kill people you were human, Y/n.” Her words make you falter for a moment, a moment too long that it allowed her to see that her words indeed had an effect on you.
Pursing your lips, you swallowed the lump in your throat and looked back at her. “Thanks, love.”
From there, a blanket of silence rested over the both of you in that comforting and warm way from before. Wanda watched you cook and you soaked up the warm feeling in your chest from being her center of attention. And somewhere in that time, she left to get out of some clothes. Coming back in some shorts with one of your shirts that hid said shorts. It was an adorable sight that you could get used to if things played well in your favour.
But she continued to watch you scoop the food from inside the pot and pour it into the bowls. Grabbing a spoon, and placing it in the bowl, you walked toward the girl and handed it to her. “Thank you.” She smiled, taking hold of the spoon and diving into the dish. It was a soup with some meat broth involved in it. And the smell was so familiar it was hard for Wanda to not feel a warm sense of contentment. And when she placed the hot liquid between her lips, her eyes flickered shut. A deep hum emitted from the depths of her chest as she placed the bowl down.
You had watched and couldn’t shake the smile from your lips. “It’s Borscht,” you stated, gaining the girl’s attention. You shrugged, “I thought you deserved something close to home instead of some random dish we Americans have. And I know you don’t like talking about Sokovia, but I feel like you deserve the little things that remind you of home because we all deserve that right.”
Wanda chewed on the inside of her cheek, the stinging sensation behind her eyes making her blink rapidly. Leaning her face into one of her hands, hiding her features from your curious gaze. And you were left in silence before she finally sat up, sniffling and revealing her tear-stained cheeks and reddened eyes.
“You don’t know how much this means to me,” she wept, trying to smile, but the emotions are overwhelming. Causing her face to twist and turn in many expressions of pain and happiness. “Thank you, Y/n.”
The least she expected was to feel your arms coil around her and pull her close. A hand comes to the back of her head and pulls her into your chest. She didn’t hesitate to melt into your body, hands falling to your waist as she cried in your chest.
Although the vulnerability wasn’t new to both of you, this sure was. You hadn’t seen her cry in months since Pietro passed away and Sokovia was destroyed. It’d been months since then and you felt like you might’ve unintentionally brought back some bad memories with the good ones.
Except, when she pulled away from your chest, looking up at you with those teary eyes, you felt like your thoughts had been answered. And when her hands held your face, you felt all worries wash away. Especially when she pressed her lips to yours, replacing the coldness of fear with the warmth of love. Making you seek it deeper, pressing your lips firmer against hers and leaning into her slightly.
The kiss was brief, but it was fulfilling for what it was. Breaking apart only a breath away with your foreheads resting against one another. Wanda licked her lips, letting out a shaky exhale, tips of her fingers gently caressing your jaw and cheek. “I love you.”
You couldn’t help the smile to break out on your lips. “And I love you too.” You pressed a kiss to her lips, to which she reciprocated and sat in this close embrace for a few moments. At least until you jutted your thumb over your shoulder. “So, I may have also had Cassandra grab me some Sokovia candy today.”
That made her eyes widen as you motioned toward one of the cupboards. “I snuck them in when you went to get changed–Which I want to add, you look adorable in my shirts.” You smiled when the girl stared at the colour packaging of the candy. Her lips parted in an open smile, looking up at you with a chuckle.
“I thought you said she didn’t work today?” Wanda reminded.
A soft laugh fell from your lips. “Wanda, will all those powers, you still can’t tell if I am telling the truth or not,” you said. “I convinced her to give her mentor a chance to get experience whilst she did me a favour. Who wouldn’t help out an Avenger to win over the girl of his dreams.”
Wanda felt those imaginary strings pull at the corner of her lips, forming a large smile. “You are full of surprises, Y/n.” Pressing her lips against yours, standing to her feet, she hummed. “I love it.”
#wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff fanfiction#wanda maximoff imagine#wanda maximoff fluff#wanda maximoff x black!male!reader#wanda maximoff x black!reader#wanda maximoff x black male reader#wanda maximoff x black reader#Elizabeth Olsen#scarlet witch#x black!male!reader#x black!reader#Natasha Romanoff x black!reader#x black male reader#marvel x black!reader#marvel fanfiction#marvel imagine#wanda maximoff marvel#x reader
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Healing Hands
Summary: The attack on Kamar-Taj goes a bit differently than the stories say.
Warnings: Blood, death, burns.
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Sorceress!Reader
A/N: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! So I feel like I haven’t updated in ages, so this is a little excerpt from my WIPs that I thought you might like! Idk what I should do with it tbh :’) This is also like a prologue!
pt. i, pt. ii, pt. iii, pt. iv, pt. v, pt. vi
*not my gif*
The battle was lost. There was no denying it. As soon as the Scarlet Witch had broken through the mind of a single sorcerer, the battle was lost.
Death followed her. Your friends, lifelong friends, were gone. Those in the beds in front of you were clinging onto life with a deceivingly weak grip.
Sparks flew next to you, but they didn’t alarm you. “Y/N, you need to leave. The Scarlet Witch cannot find you.”
“If anybody needs to leave, it’s you, Wong. You’re Sorcerer Supreme, you know more than all of us combined. She’ll try to expunge that knowledge from you, in any way she knows how.” You barked as your hands hovered above an injured young sorcerer, charred burn wounds running the length of his left side.
The blue wisps falling from your fingertips streaked around the young boy’s body. He couldn’t be more than 9 or 10, and yet he was fighting for his life against the most powerful force known to you.
Your hands began to shake before the tips of your magic, the ones that surrounded the boy’s body, turned black. You fought against it, you really did, but Wong pulled you away as the boy passed on.
“She’s infecting them, Wong. Some sort of dark magic, trying to seep energy out of anything it touches.” You grimaced, angered that you lost him.
You looked at the dead bodies around you. You could have saved them, but the Scarlet Witch was powerful.
You turned to Wong. “Go. Protect the girl. I’ll hold her off.”
“Absolutely not!” He snarled, but you took his shoulders gently.
“Wong… She cannot take her power. Go.”
He gave you a defeated look before hugging you tightly. “It’s been a pleasure to be your friend.”
“Please, let it be mine.” You chuckled.
You stepped back from him before bowing traditionally, bidding him goodbye as he portalled away. You also made your own portal, your Slingy wrapped neatly around your fingers until you came face-to-face with the outside of Kamar-Taj.
The once masterful fortress had crumbled beneath the touch of the Scarlet Witch. Pillars had crumbled to the ground, cannons had destroyed the roofs of nearby healing huts, and you recognised the bodies writhing in the Witch’s grip.
“Where is he?!” She demanded of them, a hiss in her tone - an accent, perhaps?
She turned around at the feeling of your mind. It was bright, much brighter than those in her clutch. Almost warm, in fact. “The Sorcerer Supreme will not be speaking with you today.” You spoke monotonously, your fingers interlocked as they hung by your waist.
“And who might you be?” She asked, her magic no longer torturing your friends but they were still in her hold.
“Healer Y/N, get away! Run!” Rintrah bellowed at you, but she covered his mouth with a red seal.
“Y/N, huh?”
“I am Healer Y/N, yes.” You replied.
“And what exactly does a healer do?” She queried, taking a few steps closer to you as you stood at the top of the stone stairs.
“It is in the name, Wanda Maximoff - I heal those who are wounded.”
Wanda hadn’t heard her full name for a while, amused that you would both know and use it.
“Tell me, Y/N, what kind of wounds can you heal?”
You eyed her foot as she stepped up. “Burns, as of late. But lacerations, bruises, broken bones-”
“How about a broken heart?”
You raised an eyebrow at her. “I’m afraid those kinds of injuries take a bit longer to heal.”
“How long would you say? If you had to estimate?”
Even though the urge to step back came when she climbed the second set of stairs, you kept your ground, leaving you one more set between the two of you. “Depends. What damage did the heart take? What love was lost?”
“Parental.” A step. “Brotherly.” Another. “Motherly. Marital.”
She came to your eye length on the second last step, taking the final two to stand a few inches above. “Familial.”
“Then I’m sorry, Ms Maximoff, but your heart will need time to heal. Long, precarious time, with abilities beyond my own-”
“Oh, but you can learn, can’t you?” Wanda interrupted, raising her blackened fingertips to your cheek.
“Isn’t that how the world works? By learning?”
“I-”
“Time is but a human construct to comprehend the vastness of the universe. The multiverse. Is there nothing you could do to learn more, to be faster than you are now?”
You held up a hand to her, your eyebrows furrowing. “If you wish for an answer, then you will give me time to speak.”
She smiled at you, stepping back once. It wasn’t much, but she was then silent as she waited for your response.
You sighed, folding your arms. Wanda’s eyebrows raised in alarm - a sorcerer’s arms were its weapons. What on earth were you?
“There is a way I can heal you faster than originally thought.”
Her eyes widened before her smile grew. “Great. How?”
“Let my friends go.”
Her eyebrows furrowed. “No.”
“Then may you suffer for as long as your heart desires.” You turned around.
Anger bubbled inside of the witch before she threw a blast at your turned back, surprised when a barrier of blue blocked it. You turned again, your glowing eyes a frightening sight.
“Harming me will do you no good, Ms Maximoff.”
“ARGH!” She growled, whipping a wisp around you before she brought you closer, a firm grip on your healer cloak.
“If you will not give me an answer, I will reap it out of you, one day at a time.”
A glowing red sigil to your right alarmed Rintrah and his horns glowed, eldritch magic shooting out to grab your ankle. Wanda looked between him, the golden chain, and you, watching you shake your head at the R'Vaalian before blue magic cut through the chain like a hot knife.
*She needs it, Master Rintrah. Tell Wong not to come for me - this is something that must be done to protect the multiverse.* You sent the thought to him before Wanda’s sigil consumed you, red dust clouding your vision as she knocked you unconscious.
A/N - Ideas are welcomed!
#smalls-words#wandamaximoffimagine#WandaMaximoff#wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff x fem!reader#wanda maximoff angst#wanda maximoff x you#wanda maximoff x y/n
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okay i'm a bit drunk which automatically means horny so here's me sharing mostly incoherent thoughts i have (also this gif is so hot i'm in love w her bye)
first of all...mean!wanda and clit spanking i- 🫨🫨
it's def her favorite way to reprimand you when you get too greedy and try to push your hips up into her touch
and she's all like "baby." in the voice (yk the voice) "you know mommy doesn't like greedy girls who aren't grateful for everything their mommies do for them. don't make me have to remind you how to behave for me, sweet girl. i promise, you won't like it nearly as much as i will."
she's so sick and twisted and i love her
oh and also stoner!wanda with a lowkey exhibitionism kink (especially if it involves edging or overstim just because she loves how much harder it gets for you to stay quiet because your so desperate and your brain is all melty and and and)
like she'll probably be controlling your vibe from her phone in the middle of a really important lecture about your hardest midterm
and when you let out the cutest little squeak when she flicks it up to the highest setting out of nowhere she'll just grab your thigh hard and whisper than you better stay quiet and you better really think about whether it's worth it to cum
and then she'll get home and ask you to study with her and totally make fun of you when you say you don't remember anything from the lecture
she'd be all like "oh, dorogaya, were you not paying attention in class? i thought i asked you to focus? poor thing can only think with her pussy." and she'll like fake pout at you i'm SCREAMING
or or or soft!mommy!wanda having a surprising obsession w hitting it from the back
like i'm telling you she will bend you over and whip it out anywhere over NOTHING IN PARTICULAR OTHER THAN YOU LOOKED CUTE
and the dirty talk too is insane
like she's grabbing your hair with one hand and your hip with the other while she just is like absolutely destroying you over the kitchen counter and is like
"oh, baby, does that feel good? yeah, mommy knows exactly what her pretty girl needs. oh! sweet thing, you've got a little drool right here, could you be a good girl and clean up your mess for mommy?"
and the moment you lean forward to grab a paper towel to wipe it up she's leaning over you and fucking you twice as hard as before, leaving soft kisses against your neck and laughing when you can't focus
#stoner!wanda#jules writing#mommy!wanda#char: wanda maximoff#also this is me informally announcing i am also thinking thoughts about leigh shaw and will be writing something short for her as well#lowkey reentering my active era !!
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A Semblance Of My Soul
Date: 13 March 2024
Author: mattmurderock
Rating: Teen
Word Count/Status: 7,699, 4/11 chapters
Dynamic: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Hank McCoy/Simon Williams
Characters: Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Hank McCoy, Simon Williams, The Vision, Wanda Maximoff, Janet van Dyne, Sam Wilsom, James Rhodes
Tags: Reality TV, Canon DIvergence, Falling In Love, Flirting, Cameras, Secret Identity, Inspired by Love is Blind (TV)
Summary:
Dating in New York is difficult for anyone. Dating in New York as an Avenger is something else entirely. When the chance to sign up for a unique experiment comes around, the idea is more appealing than some might want to admit. These contestants are here to find love, to find a connection, and above all, to answer one very important question.
Can love truly be blind? Or are there some realities you can never escape from after all?
#rating: teen#uni: 616#team: avengers#char: steve rogers#char: tony stark#char: hank mccoy#char: simon williams#char: the vision#char: wanda maximoff#char: janet van dyne#char: sam wilson#char: james rhodes#dyn: steve rogers/tony stark#dyn: hank mccoy/simon williams#tag: reality tv#tag: falling in love#tag: flirting#tag: cameras#length: 5k to 10k#category: multichapter#status: wip#rel: m/m
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I’m fucking dying 😭😭
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I Love You In Every Universe | Wanda Maximoff
Summary: After the events of Avengers: Endgame, Wanda enlists the help of Agatha Harkness to help her move on from the death of Vision
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Male Reader
Warnings: Angst, violence
Word Count: 3.8K
A/N: This was a request I received on Wattpad from @joewatt111. A bit of a twist on Multiverse of Madness if you will...enjoy!
Masterlist
When Agatha Harkness heard a knock on her door earlier, she hadn’t anticipated seeing Wanda Maximoff standing at her front door. Agatha took one look at her and couldn’t help but feel bad: her eyes were bloodshot from crying and tears streamed down her face. The bags under her eyes showed she hadn’t slept in days. And in her hands she clutched a photograph, its edges charred and torn from the explosion that destroyed her former home. She warily invited Wanda in, offering her a cup of tea. As Agatha put the kettle on and rummaged for some tea bags, Wanda recounted the events of the previous week. She explained how the last thing she remembered before being undusted and fighting Thanos was watching him murder Vision in front of her. Agatha listened intently to the young witch’s story, wondering why she was even in her house telling her all of this in the first place. She had no idea who this woman was anyway or why she was in her house. While extending a steaming mug to her, Wanda told Agatha what she wanted: to have Agatha cast a spell to make her find a new soulmate.
“Wanda, I’m telling you, witch to witch, this isn’t the best idea,” Agatha warned as the younger witch stood in the corner of her basement eyeing the Darkhold.
“I don’t care. I want you to do it. I can’t deal with this anymore.” Wanda’s voice was strained with pain as she spoke. She stared at the book sitting in front of her, running her fingers haphazardly over the embossed cover.
“Sweetheart, listen to me. I know you’re hurting right now but this isn’t the answer,” Agatha responded. “There’s no magic in the world that will fix this. You need to grieve for him.”
“I am grieving,” Wanda snapped, her eyes glowing red. “I have been grieving every day of my life. I’ve grieved for my parents, for Pietro, and now for Vision. Do you know what that does to a person? How it eats away at every fiber of your being from the moment you wake up to the moment you fall asleep until there’s almost nothing left except the worst of you?” She was utterly broken. The world was crashing down around her and drowning her in a steady stream of sorrow. For the first time in her life, Wanda Maximoff felt completely and utterly hopeless.
Agatha sighed as she saw the anger drawing up in Wanda. She paced back and forth away from her as she thought of a way to help her without causing any more damage. “Look,” she finally said as she turned to face her. “I can do what you’re asking. But there are risks. You need to understand that this spell will-”
“I don’t care what the risks are. Just do it,” Wanda hissed. She slapped the table with her hands, causing the Darkhold to fall off its stand. She quickly replaced it in its rightful spot.
“Fine.” Agatha flicked her wrist, the cursed book whizzing past Wanda’s head as she summoned it to her person. She knew the spell she needed and had the book reveal its dark spell to her. “Just don’t expect me to pick up the mess you make.”
Wanda looked at her eagerly. All she wanted was for the pain to stop and it was within her grasp. She was abuzz with anticipation as she stared at Agatha poring over the Darkhold’s spells for the one that would finally bring her the happily ever after she’d always wanted.
“Okay so just stand right there. This won’t take but a minute.” Bright red orbs appeared around Agatha as she instructed Wanda. They were sloppy and misshapen, connected by black tendrils that linked them together in a sort of cocoon around her head. She filed through them until she found the one she needed, reaching forward with a hand to summon the spell to her.
As Agatha began to chant the incantation, Wanda found herself being sucked into a completely different world. Her reality grew black around her, closing in on her eyes as she felt herself being jerked back as though a rope was wrapped around her midsection. She squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to stave off the disorientation but she could still feel the world falling around her. When she opened her eyes, she realized she wasn’t in a different reality. She was somewhere in the depths of her subconscious, a strange world being manipulated by the dark magic inhabiting her mind. Red and purple tendrils danced in front of her field of view, battling to see which one would take prominence. Her eyes darted back and forth as she looked for literally anything. That’s when she saw him.
It was just a face. He was human. He was handsome. He was smiling. He had kind eyes. He had Y/H/C hair. That was it. Nothing more, nothing less. She gazed at him with wonder, her heart fluttering as he broke out in laughter. She hadn’t felt so giddy in such a long time. Of course this would be the man she fell in love with. She knew nothing about him but something about this handsome stranger made her feel at home. He radiated the warmth of a winter night’s bonfire: warm and inviting.
Before she knew it Wanda found herself lying on the damp floor back in reality. Agatha leaned over her, a look of concern plastered on her face as she watched Wanda fall out of her trance. Wanda pushed herself up on her elbows, breathing heavily as she stared up at the older woman. “Who is he?” she asked frantically. “How do I find him?”
“If you had let me finish, you would’ve learned that this spell only shows you the face of your soulmate.” She extended her hand to Wanda, pulling her back onto her feet.
“But how do I find him?” She was desperate. This stranger, who already felt so familiar, was out of her grasp. She needed him more than she’d ever needed anyone before. He was the answer to her problems, the way for the pain to stop.
“I think you know the answer, hon,” Agatha replied, her eyes darting to the unholy book that sat on the altar of sins in front of her.
“The Darkhold,” Wanda murmured. She stumbled over to the table, her legs still weak from the recent ordeal. As she grabbed the book, she heard voices calling out to her. The whispers were unintelligible, merely a cacophony of garbled sounds fighting to share their dark secrets with her.
“Wanda,” she warned. “You’re not ready for what’s coming if you open that book. Let me help you.”
“No,” Wanda snapped, her eyes glowing red as she whipped her head around to look at Agatha. “I don’t need your help.” She hugged the book close to her chest as she backed out of the basement. “I’ve got to find him.”
Agatha sighed. She knew there was nothing she could do to stop her from leaving with the Darkhold. Wanda was a woman driven by grief. The rawness of her loss prevented her from thinking rationally. As much as she was hurting, it pained Agatha to think of what was coming. But she knew that this was a lesson Wanda was going to have to learn for herself. So against her better judgment, she let Wanda go.
******************************************************************************
Over the next few days, Wanda locked herself away in the desolate cabin in the woods. She spent her waking hours studying the Darkhold, the whispers becoming more coherent the further she descended into darkness. She searched for anything that might help her uncover the identity of the man from her vision. At night she dreamt about him. They started off the same as her vision: just his face. Over time the dreams evolved. She eventually saw herself with him, living a peaceful life in a house in a small suburb. They were glimpses into a life where she could be truly happy once and for all. With each passing day Wanda grew more and more desperate, gravitating toward darker and more dangerous spells until she found one that could help her: dreamwalking. Dreamwalking would allow her to possess the body of an alternate self. If she possessed the version of herself that was living with this man she could find him. Once she found him, she’d have to find a way to jump through the multiverse to his universe to be with him. But she could do it. Through her exploration of sin she’d come to realize a fuller extent of her powers, learning that her magic was stronger than she ever imagined.
On the night she decided to test out her dreamwalking theory, she wandered around the cabin gathering all the candles she could find. While picking up one that sat on the dresser in her bedroom, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror for the first time in what seemed like days. She barely recognized herself. Her face was pale and gaunt, her eyes sunken from the lack of sleep and the hours of strain she imposed on them through her endless studying. Her hair was disheveled and falling out of the messy bun she’d tied. Running her hands through her hair, she noticed her fingertips were stained black. The corruption of her soul was stained on her skin like the blood that haunted Lady Macbeth. But Wanda didn’t feel corrupted. For the first time in a long time she felt in control.
Setting the candles up in a circle around her and summoning the Darkhold to her impious site, Wanda began to cast the spell. She found herself falling into the throes of this dark magic, surrendering her physical body to the feeling of weightlessness as her consciousness flew through depths of the multiverse. She focused intently on her doppelganger, the version of herself that was with him, as she felt herself fall into the abyss…
******************************************************************************
Wanda woke with a gasp as she dropped the dish she was drying on the floor, shattering it into a thousand pieces.
“Wanda? Are you okay?” she heard a voice call from another room. She didn’t know how to respond. She had no idea who’s voice that was until she saw a man walk into the room.
“Honey, are you okay?” the stranger asked.
“You,” she gasped. It was him: the man from the vision. This was her soulmate. This was the man who was supposed to make her happy again. What on earth could she possibly say to him?
“Well, yeah, duh it’s me. Who were you expecting, Steve?” he chuckled, shaking his head as he saw the shattered dish scattered around the floor. “Everything okay?”
“You’re the man from my vision.” She couldn’t help but stare at him. It was the first time she had seen more than just his face. She was taking in every inch of him, how he looked dressed in his grey sweatpants and cutoff Avengers hoodie, how he stood in the presence of her, how he made her feel instantly at home.
“I thought we weren’t going to talk about our visions until later tonight, but hey if you want to talk about them now I’m down with that,” he joked with a wink. She swooned at his insinuation.
“No. We don’t need to talk about them. I saw you in my vision. You’re my soulmate, the one who’s supposed to take away all this pain. And now I’ve found you.” Wanda felt herself growing possessive over the stranger. She was bubbling with a jealousy towards the woman whose body she was inhabiting. This woman had what she wanted and she would do anything to make herself the only woman in this man’s life. “I’ve found you and I’m not going to let you go. Ever.” She felt her lips twist upward in a menacing smile as she flicked her wrist, causing all the doors and windows in the house to slam shut and lock.
“Wanda, what’s going on?” he asked. Something was…off. She was behaving strangely. The grin that spread on her face made him uncomfortable. But the way her eyes started to glow red was completely unlike her. She’d sworn off magic after retiring from the Avengers. So seeing her use her magic like this told him that something was horribly wrong.
“Nothing’s wrong, darling. I finally have you where I want you and now that I have you, everything’s going to be so much better.” She slunk towards him as she spoke, her voice eerily deep and sultry as she ravaged him with her eyes. Her heart was practically beating out of her chest with the knowledge that everything was falling into place.
The man slowly backed away as Wanda walked towards him. He felt a sense of doom looming as she crossed the floor, stepping on the broken glass and conjuring a red ball of magic with her hand. “Wanda, I don’t know what’s going on, but you need to stop,” he told her as he raised his hand up in front of him.
“No!” she snapped. “I’ve spent too much time trying to find you to let you go. You’re my soulmate. That’s what Agatha told me. You’re supposed to be the one to make me happy again.” She felt tears gathering in the corners of her eyes as she spoke.
“Wanda, I’m serious. Back. Off.” he warned.
“NO!” She threw the magic at him. He dove out of the way, slamming into the couch as the magic blew a hole in the wall. She was seething. He was supposed to be her soulmate, so why was he fighting her? He climbed over the couch and rolled off the back as Wanda threw it against the wall, shattering the window.
“What the hell?” he shouted, incredibly confused as to why his wife was attacking him in their living room. Before he had the chance to jump up and run away, he felt something wrap itself around his ankle and drag him across the floor. He struggled to pull himself away, reaching for the leg of the coffee table. But Wanda destroyed it with a blast of magic, leaving him unable to resist her. As the red tendrils dragged him across the floor and flipped him over so that he was on his back, he saw her staring down at him, the same terrifying grin plastered on her face as he found himself being flipped upright and levitated in front of him.
“Come now, my love,” she cooed as she stroked his cheek with the back of her hand, the action making his blood run cold. “You don’t want to make me mad now, do you? Not after all the work I put in to get here, to find you. You don’t know how many worlds I searched through just to find you”
He was thoroughly confused. What did she mean when she talked about all the work she put in? His mind was racing as he struggled to pull an explanation together. Suddenly it hit him like a rock. “You’re not my Wanda, are you?” he asked.
Wanda paused. “Of course I’m your Wanda,” she spat, grabbing his face harshly.
He shook his head against her strong grip. “No, no you’re not. You’re dreamwalking, aren’t you?” The grip on his face loosened as Wanda stared at him in horror.
“How do you know what that is?” she pressed.
“Wanda, I’m married to a witch. A very powerful witch who has an extensive knowledge of magic, both good and bad.” He smiled weakly at her. “A witch who has since given up the use of her magic, well, except on the nights neither of us wants to do the dishes.”
Wanda recoiled in horror. She didn’t know what was going on. “I don’t understand. Agatha said that you’re my soulmate. I don’t understand what’s going on. You’re supposed to love me, not her!” Tears began streaming down her face as she started to lose control of her emotions. “She said she could do the spell!”
The man watched as Wanda backed herself into the wall, crumbling down and curling herself into a ball as she cried into her arms. He felt bad for this other Wanda. She was a woman in immense pain who had gone to great lengths to alleviate her suffering. She’d been captured by the Darkhold, which had fed her lies and corrupted her down the very fibers of her soul. It was gut-wrenching to watch her suffer like this. A lump formed in his throat as he watched her break down completely.
“Wanda,” he whispered. “Let me go.” She looked up at him, her eyes bloodshot as tears smeared the makeup around her eyes. Nodding, she flicked her wrist. He felt himself being lowered to the ground as the strands of magic disappeared from view. As the witch sniffled, he extended his hand to her, gently pulling her to her feet. She looked at the ground, crying, too ashamed to look at him. “Hey, look at me.” He lifted her chin with his hand, bringing her head up so he could look her in the eye. “You’ve been through a lot, haven’t you?” He was trying to be gentle with her.
“Everyone I love is dead,” she cried. “Mama, Papa, Pietro, and now Vision. He was my…” she trailed off, unable to finish her thought.
“He was your person, wasn’t he?” Wanda nodded. “I’m sorry. About all of them. I don’t know who Vision is, but my Wanda’s lost her family, too. And I know how hard it is for her. But what I don’t know is why you got involved with the Darkhold.”
“I wanted to find another soulmate. I didn’t want to hurt anymore. I found a witch who could cast the spell to help me find who it is and I saw you. I didn’t know your name or where you lived or anything. So I used the Darkhold to track you down. Once I was able to dreamwalk, I was going to find a way into this universe to be with you,” she admitted. She was ashamed at what she’d done, embarrassed at the way she’d let herself be tempted by the dark magic.
“Oh Wanda,” he sighed, caressing her cheek with his thumb. “What have you done?”
“I don’t know. I’m sorry,” she cried. “I still don’t even know your name.”
“Really?” he chuckled. “”Well it’s Y/N. Y/N L/N. In this world, you’re my wife.”
She smiled. “How long have we been married?”
“A little over a year. But we’ve been together almost a decade. We met in high school and that was that.”
“Do we have any kids?”
“One on the way,” Y/N smiled as he glanced down at Wanda’s stomach. “We just found out last week, so we haven’t told anyone yet. But we’re so excited to have a little one of our own.”
Wanda smiled as she looked down at her stomach. She wasn’t showing, it was too early. But she felt a sense of wonder and excitement knowing that this other her was about to embark on the journey of motherhood for the first time. “I’m sorry for hurting you. And for taking over your wife’s body.”
“I forgive you,” he replied. “My wife might not, but I do. You’ve been through so much and you just want to be happy. I understand that. But this isn’t your world, Wanda, and you’re not my wife.”
“I know,” she sighed. “But I don’t want to go.” She wiped her face with her hand, sniffling as she turned to use her magic to clean up the broken dish by the sink.
“You have to, sweetheart. I don’t think my Wanda would enjoy spending the rest of her life being trapped in her mind.”
“I know. I just don’t want to leave you.”
“You’ll be okay,” Y/N soothed. He empathized with this other Wanda, feeling bad that she would return to a world where she was completely and utterly devoid of love. But there was nothing he could do to ease her suffering. She would have to piece herself back together one day at a time.
“Y/N?” she asked.
“Yeah?”
“Can you kiss me?”
“Wanda-”
“Please?” She felt herself welling up again, scared of losing yet another someone.
He sighed, a soft smile spreading across his face as he brought his hands to her waist, pulling her in close as he leaned in to press a tender kiss to her lips. For the few moments their lips touched, Wanda felt nothing but pure bliss. She savored in the sweetness of his lips, how they felt pressed up against hers. As he broke the kiss, he leaned his forehead against hers.
“I love you in every universe, Wanda,” he whispered. “But now you have to go and let me have my wife back.”
She sniffled as she smiled. Taking a step back from Y/N, she sighed as she brought herself out of the spell and back into her own body.
******************************************************************************
“Told you there’d be consequences,” Agatha smirked as Wanda sat across the table from her, holding a cup of tea in her hands. “But no, you wanted to do it yourself and look where you are now, mourning not only Vision but this soulmate you’ll never have as well.”
Wanda looked down at her own mug, too ashamed to respond.
“And let’s not mention the fact you’ve been toying with the Darkhold. Nope, nothing dangerous there.”
“Teach me,” Wanda said, still looking down at her mug. “Teach me how to do it safely.”
“Wanda-”
“I’m serious. I need help, Agatha. I think you’re the only one who can help me right now.”
Agatha sighed, taking a sip of her tea. “You’re darn right, kiddo. You should’ve let me help in the first place. But honey, you need to sort out your priorities first. Get your mind set with this whole Vision thing, give me the Darkhold, and come get me when you’re in a better spot. I don’t need to clean up any more messes in this world.” She stood up, pushing her chair in as she started to leave the kitchen. “Your room is the first one on the left after you get upstairs. Take as much time as you need.”
Wanda sighed, gripping the mug tighter in her hands as the warmth from the liquid seeped into her body. She knew that she’d have to go through the process of grieving all over again. But as she started the proper mourning process for Vision, she heard a small voice echoing through her mind:
I love you in every universe
#wanda maximoff#scarlet witch#elizabeth olsen#wanda maximoff fic#scarlet witch fic#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda x reader#scarlet witch x reader#wanda maximoff x male reader#wanda x male reader#scarlet witch x male reader#wanda maximoff x y/n#x male reader#male reader#male reader insert#marvel#mcu#marvel fanfiction#request#therealdisneyfan2319
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I'm It's a complex
Ship: Wanda Maximoff x Female Reader
a/n: ...... So, surprise, I'm not dead! What can I say? Mercury was in retrograde? In all seriousness, I am very sorry for the ungodly amount of time between chapters, I hope this goliath makes up for it somewhat. Thank you to everyone who has been kind, your messages mean so much to me. Please let me know if you enjoy this!
Dedication: For Magda, who is the brightest light in my life. I know without a doubt that I will never be unloved by you, and that knowledge is balm for an aching soul.
Tags/warnings: 18+ minors DNI; top!wanda; bottom!reader; vaginal sex; praise; dominance; dirty talk; sex toys; degradation; unconventional therapy tactics
Word count: 15K
Summary: Chapter IX; Did you get enough of love, my little dove? AU
The one where Agatha is a show-off, you let something slip, and you make a friend.
Previous chapter ➵➵
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‘’I told you so!’’ Is the first thing Pepper says, as she steps over the threshold with a bouquet of flowers in one hand, and a stack of papers in the other, a black tote bag slung over one shoulder. Kate follows right behind her, offering us her genuine congratulations. Neither of them know yet, of course. Wanda and I have been sitting tight on the secret of our budding relationship, so they’re just happy our staged kiss worked so well.
Wanda has made it her mission to throw a dinner party for her friends, so she can announce our relationship in style. But it turns out that it’s quite difficult to gather a group of women who all have insanely busy jobs. Pepper works crazy hours, Agatha sometimes works miles away, and I know from experience that Maria, who has taken over my old job, has her plate completely full. But, Wanda has managed to find a date and time that works for everyone, so as Pepper and Kate file in (20 minutes early), we all keep an eye on the clock, waiting for the others to arrive.
‘’Have you seen the pictures yet?’’ Kate asks me as we stand at the kitchen counter, pulling out empty plates, bowls and sets of cutlery to lay the table with. I shrug, ‘’Wanda doesn’t take papers or magazines, and she told me not to bother looking for it online. I think she’s got some weird experience with the press or something.’’ Kate gives me a wide-eyed look of understanding. ‘’They’re ruthless, they print really nasty things sometimes, she’s probably just trying to protect you.’’ I nod, unconcerned, ‘’yeah, probably.’’ I know tabloids have a way of painting people in the worst light possible, but Wanda isn’t that famous. It’s not like she’s an A-list celebrity, so I’m quite sure nobody is going to bother with me.
We each take a stack of plates, and a handful of cutlery to carry into the dining room and when I push through the door with my shoulder, I see that Agatha has joined the group. I didn’t hear the front door open, so she must have come in through the back. She's sitting together with Wanda and Pepper, leaning back in her chair, rolling her eyes at something the two other women are saying to her, their voices muddling together.
I don't quite catch what the conversation is about, but Kate is quick to turn to Pepper after we deposit the dishes on the scrubbed wooden table. "What was that about a hotel?" She asks, strolling over to seat herself comfortably in Pepper's lap. Their limbs fit together perfectly, in a way you wouldn’t assume when you see them standing next to each other. I envy the easy way Kate drapes herself over Pepper, with not a care in the world. My eyes linger for a short while on their intertwined fingers, but my attention is quickly drawn back to the topic at hand. My brows knit together in confusion at the mention of a hotel. I don’t understand why Pepper would need a hotel, as she isn’t due for a holiday yet.
"Are you going on holiday?" I ask casually, my curious side getting the better of me. I direct my question at Pepper, but it's Wanda who answers me, her voice soothing and casual, "no, honey, it's a work trip. Pepper and I are both going, and we need to book the hotel soon."
Kate’s eyes widen in alarm, and I watch as her hand tightens around Pepper's fingers. She gives her a reproachful look, "you didn't tell me you’re going away." Pepper looks genuinely sorry as she lays a comforting hand on Kate’s back, cradling her close. I turn to look at Wanda, my eyes asking the same question of her. You didn't tell me you’re going away.
"The conference was supposed to be in town, but the venue cancelled at the last minute," Pepper says, "the closest place we could find is a four-hour drive and there's no way we can travel 8 hours every day." It's fair, I know it is, but still my heart contracts painfully in my chest. ‘’I can come, right?’’ Kate asks, her tone hopeful and cheery, ‘’we haven’t been on holiday in ages.’’ Pepper for her part really does look sorry when she has to disappoint her. ‘’Honey, you know your mother will also be there, I don’t want you so near her for that long.’’ Kate’s face crumples, and she begins to cry softly, resting her head against Pepper’s as her shoulders shake. I ball my hands into fists, staving off the tears, wishing I could do the same.
I watch as Pepper cradles her close to her, holding her head tightly to her chest, rocking slightly as she whispers words I can’t make out. I can feel tears prickling at the back of my eyes, knowing already what’s to come. Wanda holds her hand out to me, inviting me into a hug. "It's only five days, dove," she says, holding me tightly, whispering, "You’ll be fine, won’t you? I bet you’ll enjoy a nice little break.’’
I want to crumple like Kate, be shushed by Wanda like Pepper is doing for Kate. But Wanda thinks I'm stronger than that, that five days apart is no big deal. And it is, of course it’s not a big deal. The rational part of me knows that there is nothing odd about this, it’s completely normal. So why then does it feel like my chest has been hollowed out?
Wanda doesn't expect me to cry. So, I force myself to smile at her. "Of course," I say with a laugh, my voice straining against the tears that threaten to escape from me, "it's only five days."
***
As soon as the opportunity arises, I escape to the kitchen for a while, trying to find something useful to do. Wanda hired a catering company to take care of the food, so I can't cook, or pretend to fuss with the food that's cooking in the oven, or sitting covered on the counter.
I decide that wine is my best option, and I open the wine cooler, to inspect the available bottles. I slide my hand over the cool bottlenecks, feeling the condensation dampen my fingers. Truth be told, I don't know what I'm doing, I don't drink wine. So, I just take out the bottles one by one, and try to judge them on their appearance. I discount the white ones, simply because red wine looks more dramatic. The labels aren't very exciting, though, so this really doesn't help me to narrow it down.
"Are you contemplating alcoholism?"
Agatha's sudden appearance startles me so much that the bottle of Argentinean Malbec threatens to slip from my fingers, but thankfully I manage to regain my grasp on the thin neck before it can crash to the ground. My heart pounds in my chest, and I quickly replace the bottle, letting out my breath in a shaky puff. Agatha raises an eyebrow at me, "guilty conscience, hon?"
"Not a fan of people sneaking up on me, actually," I say, scowling as I close the door to the wine cooler. Agatha snorts, "I wasn't sneaking, I was looking for you."
"What for?"
"You tell me, you get your feelings hurt and next thing I know you look like you're turning to the bottle."
I’ve only known Agatha for a very short while, but after my conversation with her at the gala, I’m not surprised in the slightest that she noticed I’m upset. I actually think it’s pretty comical, and want to laugh at her remark, but I don't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing I think she's funny. So I try very hard to make it look like I'm annoyed, and I keep my lips resolutely sealed.
"I thought you didn't drink?"
"I drink," I say evasively, now perusing a rack of champagne next to the wine cooler.
"Wanda said that you had your first drink in 10 years at the gala." I roll my eyes, "three years, actually. And so what? I fancy another one now."
Agatha moves over to lean against the kitchen counter, looking at me over the lenses of her glasses. "You know I have great connections with Alcoholics Anonymous, do you want me to give you their number?"
From the rack, I pull a bottle of Dom Pérignon, scanning the label like I know what I'm doing. "What are you actually here for? Because I think we both know I'm not looking to start a life of alcohol abuse." I keep my eyes glued to the label as I speak, turning it over and reading every word twice, anything so I won't have to look at her. But Agatha notices, of course she does.
"I see you're avoiding making eye-contact with me," she says, in that simple way she has of saying things. Just stating a truth, and waiting for me to explain myself. I don't, I just shrug, "it's not a crime, is it?"
‘’No,’’ she says airily, ‘’but I think it’s essential in order for a person to open up and allow themselves to be vulnerable. If you avoid eye-contact, you’re avoiding your own vulnerability.’’ This makes me falter, and I stammer a bit trying to find an adequate response, but Agatha ignores me, her eyes suddenly serious as she asks, "what do you think of Wanda having to go away for a business trip?"
Out of spite, I make sure to look Agatha dead in her eyes, but I regret it almost instantly. She's looking at me in that way again, like she can already see everything that's playing in my head, and she's just waiting for me to confirm her theories. "It's pretty normal for her to take business trips several times a year."
Agatha's eyes change, a look of reprove evident in her gaze. "I think you know that isn't what I was asking you." Her dissatisfaction with my answer stings, and not for the first time, I'm seized with a strange desire to tell her everything I'm worrying about. As if in doing so I wouldn't have to face her disapproval again. I try to keep myself composed, under her scrutinizing gaze. "It's only five days, Wanda said it's not a big deal." Agatha cocks her head to one side, "did she? I don't recall her saying that."
I'm agitated now, provoked by the anxiety from the conversation in the dining room, and now by Agatha prying into this situation. "But she meant it,’’ I say, a little too loudly, my voice cracking just a bit. ‘’Ah,’’ Agatha mutters, taking off her glasses, the end of one ear resting against her lips, ‘’so that’s what you’re about.’’ This makes precisely no sense to me, but Agatha doesn’t seem bothered to explain what she meant. She only smiles at me, the kind of encouraging smile I imagine her giving a client. ‘’You’re ashamed,’’ she says simply, as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
‘’I beg your pardon?’’ Agatha ignores me again, which appears to be becoming a habit, and presses on with a question of her own, ‘’Wanda didn’t actually say that it wasn’t a big deal, did she? So why do you think she meant to say it?’’ My hands are beginning to shake, and I have to put the bottle of champagne down. ‘’I don’t know, she just asked me to deal with it.’’ I mumble, turning away from Agatha, so I don’t have to look at her anymore. Behind me, I hear her hum, mulling my statement over in her head. ‘’Remember what I said about eye contact, hon?’’
With a herculean effort, I turn around again, resting my back against the counter, slowly raising my eyes to look back up at her. She gives me a smile for my efforts. “Good job, hon,’’ she says in a higher pitched voice than I have heard from her so far. It feels somehow both condescending and rewarding. It’s the kind of tone you’d use when training a puppy, big exaggerate sounds that they can recognize, so they know when they’ve done something right. I want to hear her say it again.
"How did it make you feel when Kate began to cry?’’ she asks, her glasses dangling from her fingers. ‘’I don’t know, sad, I guess?’’ Agatha hums again, ‘’Sad because she was upset, or sad because you felt like you weren’t allowed to show the same level of emotion?’’
This throws me a bit, and I stutter out several uh’s and uhm’s before I can form a proper reply. ‘’I didn’t say that I wasn’t allowed to cry,’’ I say defensively. ‘’No, you didn’t. But you wanted to cry too, didn’t you?’’
‘’Why does that matter?’’ I say, my old agitation flaring up again. I feel my face heating up, and I’m profoundly uncomfortable under Agatha’s scrutiny. I don’t like that she knows these things about me. It frightens me that she can watch me and tell me exactly what goes on in my head. It feels invasive.
‘’If it doesn’t matter, answer my question.’’
‘’Fine,’’ I snap, much more aggressively than I had intended. ‘’I am upset, and I did want to cry, but that doesn’t matter anymore because it’s settled now.’’ Agatha’s brows furrow at my tone, but she doesn’t chide me for it. ‘’Do you really believe that?’’ she asks in a tone that suggests that she knows I’m lying. ‘’Wanda is going, and no amount of whining is going to change that.’’ She pulls a face of surprise, but I know enough to know by now that she isn’t surprised by this. I’m confirming what she’s known all along. ‘’Is that how you see the expression of your emotions? As whining?’’
‘’That’s not what I said.’’ Agatha smiles a devious smile. ‘’No, but you meant it,’’ she says, parroting my own words back at me. My shoulders slump forward a bit, my body wanting to shrink in on itself, to hide me from Agatha. ‘’Hon,’’ she says gently, laying a warm hand on my shoulder, ‘’I’m not doing this to be mean, I’m trying to help you. Be honest with me, and let me help you make it better.’’ I’m tired of this back and forth already, and the rational part of me knows that she’s right, Agatha isn’t doing this to antagonize me, so I sigh and nod. ‘’I just don’t want Wanda to think I’m too needy.’’
‘’And why is that?’’ she says, her tone encouraging, trying to coax me out of my shell. ‘’I’m afraid she won’t like me anymore if she knows how much I need her.’’ Agatha allows a silence to fall, stretching out painfully long. I think she’s waiting for me to say something, let loose more of my thoughts, but I don’t want to. Not when I’m not being prompted to, anyway.
‘’Have you felt that before?’’ she finally asks, after what feels like an eternity, ‘’That you couldn’t let someone know you needed them?’’
The answer is out of my mouth before I can stop myself. ‘’Yes.’’ I say, without even thinking about it. Something like triumph glitters in Agatha’s eyes, ‘’Why don’t you tell me about that, hon?’’ I shake my head dismissively, ‘’I don’t want to talk about it.’’
‘’You don’t have to give details, just give me a rough idea.’’ I shrug, my eyes finding the floor again. ‘’I don’t know, this is just so personal. I’m not your client.’’ Agatha chuckles, ‘’aren’t you?’’ She takes a step back from the counter and begins pulling open drawers, she stops when she opens the miscellaneous drawer, where we keep bits and pieces that don’t belong anywhere else. She fishes out a notepad that I’ve been using to write grocery lists on, and that Wanda uses to write little notes to me or the housekeeper. She produces a pen from her pocket and throws the notepad down on the counter, clicks the pen open, and begins to take notes.
She replaces her glasses carefully on the edge of her nose, writing down words that I can’t make out from here. A silence lingers for a while, and whilst Agatha seems perfectly at ease, I feel more and more disconcerted with every second that passes by. After a while, she looks up at me, her glasses sitting slightly crooked on her nose. ‘’So, are you going to accept that you need my help, or are you going to run yourself into the ground? The choice is all yours, toots.’’
This isn’t rejection, quite the opposite, but there’s a suggestion of it in her tone, and it makes me recoil. Her approval earlier felt so warm, enveloping me like a blanket, shutting out the cold. I feel ridiculous for wanting this from her, when I could get it somewhere else. I could go back to work, and fall back into the steady rhythm of misery, that nonetheless feeds that ugly part of me that wants to be praised for my actions.
For a second I feel the sensation of déjà vu, like I’ve done this exact thing before, stood in this spot together with Agatha. I know I haven’t, of course. Just a trick of the mind. But I know I’ve been here before, not in this kitchen, with this woman, but in different places, with other women. My neighbour, my aunt, several teachers, a doctor, and then me, wanting nothing more than to please, to say or do the right thing, so that they would like me and keep me around. Agatha waves a hand in front of my eye-line, and I realize I’ve been staring off into the distance. I shake my head slightly, clearing the foggy thoughts from my mind. ‘’Well?’’ she asks, her eyebrows raised, ‘’penny for your thoughts, hon.’’
‘’Kate used to be your client, right?’’ She’s surprised by my question, but she still answers me. ‘’A couple of years ago, yes.’’
‘’What did you do to help her?’’ Agatha smiles, and it’s slightly condescending, like I’m a child asking her why the grass is green. ‘’Trade secret, baby. It’s confidential.’’ I try to brush past the pet name, pushing her for more answers. ‘’At the gala, Mrs. Bishop said that thing to you,’’ I say with a slight flush creeping into my cheeks, ‘’about, uhm, you know- The mother thing.’’ Agatha snorts, shaking her head at me. ‘’Right, what was it again? Something about telling vulnerable girls to go fuck their mothers, I think.’’ Now she doesn’t have her glasses in hand anymore, she takes to playing with her pen, spinning it around in her hands. The plastic of the pen makes soft ticking noises as it makes contact with the many rings on her fingers.
‘’Eleanor Bishop doesn’t know the first thing about my line of work, and not just that, she has no clue who her daughter truly is. She knows that I encouraged both her relationship and her dynamic with Pepper, and unfortunately, she found out a few too many details about the workings of it all. She drew her own conclusions, and as a result, she spouts nonsense like that.’’
‘’Oh,’’ I say, ‘’so, she was lying? I mean, you didn’t-‘’ I trail off awkwardly, and Agatha laughs, the sound of echoing through the kitchen. ‘’What? Tell her she wants to fuck her mother? No, I didn’t.’’ My face heats up, and I scramble for my words, ‘’N-no I didn’t, that’s not what I-‘’ But Agatha waves it away dismissively. ‘’Eleanor Bishop is upset, because she realized that she messed her kid up, and she’s looking for everything she couldn’t get from her mother, somewhere else. Kate is making up for lost time, and her mother can’t accept that she failed her child.’’
Unbidden, the image of my own mother floats up into my mind's eye, and the little voice in my head taunts me when the similarities in our situation become so clear to me. I think she can sense my discomfort, and the shift in energy, because she shrugs it off, ‘’never mind all of that, if you want the details of Kate’s treatment plan, you’re going to have to ask her for consent because I’m not in the business of HIPAA violations.’’
‘’O-okay.’’ I manage weakly. ‘’That’s later,’’ she says, her demeanour shifting as she looks back down at the notepad full of her scribbles, ‘’now I’d like to circle back to that question I asked you. Someone made you feel like you couldn’t let them know you needed them. Who made you feel that way, and why?’’
‘’Uhm,’’ I mutter, forcing myself once again to make eye contact with Agatha, ‘’my mother.’’ I watch as her eyebrow twitches slightly, and her eyes light up as though she just struck gold. ‘’You needed her, as all children need her mothers,’’ she says, ‘’but she didn’t fulfil those needs?’’ Her voice is sweet as honey, asking a question to which she already knows the answer.
I begin to pick at the skin around my palm, digging my nails in hard to prevent myself from crying. ‘’My mother didn’t care for me like mothers are supposed to,’’ I say, ‘’I had to care for her a lot of the time, support her emotionally, I mean.’’ Agatha nods her understanding, encouraging me to continue. ‘’I needed her when I was little, and after that too sometimes. But I never felt like I could tell her that, because I was supposed to be the strong one.’’
Her pen flies over the page as I speak, and I try to follow it, but can’t make any sense of it. She isn’t writing down my words, but that’s as much as I can tell. She’s drawing arrows too, and little stars next to sentences. She doesn’t say things that my old therapist would have said, like ‘that’s rough’, or ‘that must have been hard on you’. She just lays down her pen, nodding her head solemnly. ‘’What were you feeling when Pepper comforted Kate as she cried?’’
The question throws me a bit, because my mind had wandered off into the dark depths of my past. I bring myself back to that moment in the dining room, standing there watching Kate fall apart. I shift my weight nervously from foot to foot, and shrug.
"Be honest, tell me how you felt."
"Envious."
‘’Ah,’’ Agatha says softly, ‘’You wanted Wanda to do the same for you?’’
My nails dig harder into my palm, as tears threaten to spill from my eyes and fall down my cheeks. ‘’Pepper just saw straight away how upset Kate was, and she comforted her. I wanted that too.’’
‘’You want Wanda to look after you, like Pepper looks after Kate?’’
‘’I guess,’’ I say, acting like I wouldn’t give the world to be comforted by Wanda right now. I think back to my first night at the house, and how gentle and kind she was then. She held me as I cried, and rocked me to sleep. I wonder what it would take for her to do that again.
Agatha hums thoughtfully, ‘’that dynamic didn’t spring up out of nowhere, you understand that, don’t you? It takes time and trust, and most importantly honesty and openness.’’ This sounds so much like actual advice, that the surprise must be evident on my face, because Agatha snorts, ‘’you know I have my PhD in psychology, don’t you? I can say half decent things when I bother to.’’ She shakes her head at me, but I haven’t yet wiped the smirk from her face.
‘’Pepper didn’t spot that Kate was upset out of nowhere, it was communicated to her when Kate began to cry, Pepper picked up that cue, and was then able to comfort her. It’s about communication and mutual understanding.’’ Agatha removes her glasses again, her gaze suddenly stern, ‘’and given that you’re standing here contemplating getting drunk, rather than talking to Wanda, that indicates to me that you have a long way to go in that department.’’
***
Our impromptu therapy session comes to an end when Wanda slips in through the half open kitchen door to announce Maria’s arrival. She doesn’t seem surprised in the slightest at Agatha’s presence, and merely gives my hand a little squeeze as she leads me out of the kitchen and to the dinner table. All seats, barring one, are filled, and I know, even without anyone telling me so, that that seat was meant for Natasha Romanoff. Opposite me, Kate looks to have calmed down mostly, and she’s contentedly nibbling on some bread as she listens to Pepper gloat about our achievement. Her cheeks are red now, though, and I notice her squirming in her seat, but quickly my attention is diverted by Pepper showing the others the magazine covers featuring mine and Wanda’s picture.
I have a look, too, and I’m surprisingly pleased at how the photographs turned out. Our backseat kiss genuinely looks like it could have been an accident, our edges are blurred, making it look like it was hastily taken. We’re pressed impossibly close to one another, the flush in my cheeks clear, even in the fuzzy picture, the sight of this brings me right back to that moment. Under the table, Wanda takes hold of my thigh, squeezing slightly. ‘’You make a handsome pair,’’ Maria says, inclining her head towards us with a smile. Wanda nudges me playfully with her elbow, ‘’we do, don’t we, honey?’’
Maria snorts, ‘’you could’ve fooled me.’’
‘’Actually, that’s why I asked you all to come over today,’’ Wanda says, making good use of the segue provided by Maria, ‘’we may or may not have been keeping a secret from you.’’ Even with so little to go on, the reaction from the room is instantaneous. Kate gasps hugely, and Agatha slumps back in her chair with triumph, a gloating look on her face. ‘’I knew it,’’ she says, with a shit-eating grin, ‘’cough up, Hill.’’ Maria curses, slamming her fist hard against the wooden table, ‘’oh come on! You couldn’t have waited two more weeks?’’
I look between the two women with some confusion, trying to figure out what exactly they’re talking about. Maria fishes a £50 note out of her pocket, and slides it across the table with a sour look. ‘’You took a bet on our relationship?’’ I say indignantly, but all the women at the table, including Maria, merely laugh at me. ‘’For the record, I knew before you had even signed that damned contract that this would happen.’’ Pepper states, pointing her finger around at everyone, ‘’I called this.’’
‘’I’m sorry Wands,’’ Agatha says, as she pockets the money, ‘’it was too good of an opportunity to let go. I think all of us knew this was bound to happen.’’ She’s clearly right, because it seems that everyone had been expecting for us to make the announcement soon. Even with the anxiety about Wanda’s trip weighing me down, I feel slightly comforted by the knowledge that Wanda’s friends are accepting of us, and approving of me. They treat me like one of their own, and have done so since the very first moment. And once the moment of shock has passed, everyone goes back to their regular conversations. The normalcy of it all grounds me somewhat, even as my stomach twists and turns as I think over Wanda’s upcoming trip.
***
The dinner is delicious, the wine even more so. Still, my appetite is minimal. Even with the good conversation, and the nice company, my mood is dampened by the thought of Wanda’s departure. I nibble at my meal, pushing it around a little with my fork. I compensate for my lack of enthusiasm for the food by gulping down the wine. It goes straight to my head. Not in the way hard liquor does, this feels different somehow. My head swims, and I feel the buzz, but there’s none of the horrible nausea that comes with drinking cheap vodka.
Wanda notices that I don’t make much of a dent in my dinner, and she places a strong hand on my thigh, leaning in to whisper to me, asking me if I’m feeling alright. Seated at the head of the table, Agatha is holding court, loudly telling a lewd story involving a student, several board members and a cat o' nine tails whip. ‘’Of course,’’ I lie, with a smile, and I notice that it’s a bit harder to pull off than I am used to. In the before times, as I now have come to think of them, I told all sorts of lies all the time, with no issue whatsoever. Yes, I slept well. Yes, I ate my dinner. No, this project isn’t overwhelming. No, I don’t need more time to work on it. Lying came as easily to me as breathing, and the difficulty I have now, however slight, unsettles me.
Wanda frowns a bit, looking down at my hardly touched plate, and she opens her mouth to speak, but I am saved from her inquiries by the sound of breaking glass. I start, almost threatening to upset my own wine glass, but I save it in the nick of time. Across the table from me, Kate’s face is red, and a slight shimmer of tears is visible in her eyes once more. Her glass lies broken on the ground, the little orange juice that was in it, splattered all over the floor. Pepper’s hand flies to the ring of her collar, yanking her harshly towards her.
‘’Uh oh…’’ Agatha sing songs, a cruel smile on her face, ‘’you should house train your pets Pepper.’’ If looks could kill, Agatha would be decomposing where she sits. Ever dignified, however, Pepper ignores her, instead choosing to hiss some words to Kate that I can’t make out. Kate is still squirming, tears steadily dripping down her face. It doesn’t shock me, but I’m surprised to see them interact like this. Until now, I’ve never witnessed an altercation between them, and it’s strange to hear the venom in Pepper’s voice when she grabs Kate harshly by the face, to turn her head in our direction.
‘’Now apologize to miss Wanda for breaking her pretty glass.’’ Kate whines, and she struggles in Pepper’s grasp, but she manages to stutter out a weak, ‘’I- I’m sorry, muh-miss Wanda.’’ Wanda for her part takes it well, she squeezes my thigh slightly before she speaks, her voice gentle and reassuring, ‘’that’s alright Katie, thank you for apologizing. Are you going to be a good girl and clean it up?’’
Something inside me jumps at her words, and I suddenly wish it were me in Kate’s position. Across the table, I watch as Pepper’s fingers move from her face, where they were squishing Kate’s cheeks together, back to her collar, pulling her in so close that only she can make out her partner’s words. My eyes drift to Pepper’s lap, where her phone lies open on a screen that shows something like sound waves. I stare at it for a while, unsure of what I’m looking at, but when Pepper’s finger casually slides over the screen to increase the waves, and Kate lets out a high-pitched noise of surprise, I realize what’s going on. I feel the heat bloom in my face, and I look away quickly from the pair, trying to ignore Wanda’s warm hand on my thigh, and the strange feelings swirling in my gut. In my haste to look anywhere but the scene in front of me, I accidentally make eye contact with Agatha, who sits at the head of the table, leaning back in her chair, grinning at me from over the rim of her glasses. She raises an eyebrow at me, and I can just imagine her voice as though she were actually speaking to me.
Enjoying the show, hon?’
***
Under Pepper’s watchful gaze, Kate sweeps up the broken glass and mops the floor to clear it from the orange juice. She’s not crying anymore, but she’s prone to having fits of uncontrollable shaking, whenever Pepper plays with the waves on her phone. Everyone at the table continues their conversations, acting like this is the most normal thing in the world to them. And maybe it is.
‘’Are you okay?’’ Wanda whispers to me, ‘’I know it’s a lot, is that why you’re having a bit of a hard time tonight?’’ I seize this opportunity with both hands, ‘’Yes,’’ I whisper back, watching as Kate clambers into Pepper’s lap, having just finished cleaning up her mess, ‘’it’s okay though, I just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.’’
She seems satisfied with this explanation, and she throws an arm over my shoulders, reclining in her seat. Kate has her face buried in the crook of Pepper’s neck, and the conversation falls silent, just in time for us to her Kate mumble something against Pepper’s skin. ‘’I’m sorry mommy.’’
It feels like a current of electricity runs through my body at the sound of that word, and suddenly the room has become uncomfortably hot. I’m hyper aware of Wanda’s arm around my shoulders, and I know for certain that if I were to turn my head, Agatha would be right there staring at me. I don’t give her the satisfaction, so I resolutely stare straight ahead. ‘’Don’t mind her,’’ Pepper says airily to the room at large, ‘’she’s fussy today’’ and then, turning to Kate, ‘’aren’t you, puppy?’’
Kate seems much more relaxed now, her tears are gone, her sniffles replaced with soft moans and whines. She nods blearily, her hands pawing slightly at Pepper’s blouse. ‘’Someone’s impatient.’’ Maria laughs, and she stands up to fetch a simple black bag sitting on an ottoman in the corner of the room. I recognize it as the bag Pepper brought over today. She throws it underhanded to Pepper, who surprisingly catches it. ‘’Give us some entertainment, won’t you? It’s been ages.’’ Pepper gives her an annoyed look, ‘’she broke a glass, Hill. I know you don’t understand the concept of discipline, but she can’t be rewarded for that.’’
‘’Who said it’ll be a reward?’’ Agatha cuts in, shoving her chair back loudly and strolling over to where Pepper sits holding the bag. She reaches in, fishing out a pretty purple toy with a suction cup. She leans down to attach it to the floor, before heading back to her seat. ‘’She can fuck herself on that, we all know she won’t be able to cum from just that.’’ Kate’s eyes go wide, and she whines, both of her hands clutching at Pepper’s blouse now. ‘’No, no, no, no. Mommy, I’m sorry,’’ she cries, ‘’you promised, you said I could.’’ But Pepper doesn’t relent, merely giving her a stern look, ‘’maybe later, if you’re a good girl for us now, okay puppy?’’
Maria helps Pepper to extract the girl from her, guiding her to the floor, where they squat on either side of her to manoeuvre her to her knees. Once she’s down, Maria returns to her seat, keeping a respectful distance. From my position, I can’t see everything that’s happening, but I watch as Pepper reaches her hand up Kate’s skirt and whispers some words to her that I can’t hear. Kate puts her hands on Pepper’s shoulders to steady herself, there’s a wet sucking noise that makes even the tips of my ears feel hot, and then the quiet room is filled with a buzzing noise. I feel rather light-headed as I watch Maria helpfully turn down the waves on Pepper’s phone, and the vibrations stop instantly.
‘’Be a good girl and fuck yourself on that, puppy.’’ Pepper says, petting Kate’s hair affectionately, ‘’you heard miss Maria, they want a show.’’ There’s a smacking noise, and I assume Pepper tapped Kate on her ass, because she makes a startled noise, and moves into action almost instantly. She shuffles on her knees, holding on to Pepper for support, before lowering herself down. I can only imagine what is going on beyond my line of sight, but Kate lets out a low moan of relief, that almost fills in the blanks on the picture in my head. I can almost see the purple silicone between her thighs. Pepper raises herself up again, slipping a small black toy, shining with slick, into the pocket of her trousers. ‘’That’s a good girl, puppy.’’
***
My head swims, either from the alcohol, Wanda's ever burning grip on my thigh, or Kate's increasingly loud moans. Maria, Pepper and Agatha are egging Kate on, making lewd comments about her body, and vulgar remarks about everything they could be doing to her if only she had been a good girl. Kate's face is red and streaked with tears that are by now dripping down her chin. Whilst she had started off moving slowly, her face contorted as though the toy was almost painful, she now sets a punishing pace, and she pants with the effort of it.
''It's such a shame that you've forgotten how to behave, Katie.'' Agatha remarks with a dark smile, ''it's been so long since you kept my pretty cock warm.'' In response to this, Kate lets out a tortured sound, ''no, no, no, no, no...'' She whines, turning her eyes upward to look alternately at Pepper and then at Agatha. ''Please- Please,'' she huffs, ''you promised, you said I could, I've been good all week.''
My heart beats at four times its normal speed, and I can't help but keep myself focused on Kate as she bobs up and down on the toy. The revelation that Agatha has slept with Kate before doesn't shock me, as it probably should, but the thought that Pepper would share her is astounding to me.
''Mommy, please,'' Kate whines again, fingers grabbing at Pepper's white trouser legs, ''I'll be so good, please, please I want to sit on daddy’s lap.'' If Pepper is surprised at that title for Agatha, she doesn’t show it. Instead, she rolls her eyes, grabbing a fistful of Kate's hair, yanking her upright, ''you're a desperate little cock whore lately, aren't you?'' With a shove, she's pushed in the direction of Agatha, who looks as though Christmas has come early. My throat feels rather dry, and I take a shaky gulp of my wine. Wanda, who's been silent until now, speaks up, ''you can't blame her for wanting Agatha, now can you Pepper? I think we've all fallen victim to her charm at some point.''
My head feels much too foggy to even begin to try to understand what this means, so I just decide to let it go for now. Wanda clearly feels more confident, now that everyone is busy watching this display, and she leans down slightly to press a kiss to my cheek, her hand dropping back to my thigh and skirting dangerously close the apex of my thighs. Quite suddenly, I'm uncomfortably aware of the throbbing sensation between my legs.
I look around for a distraction, for something that could help me turn these feelings around, something dull to stare at, tiles to count. But my wandering eye is drawn to Agatha, who is beckoning Kate over to her. I wait for something to happen, for someone to search through the black bag again and produce another toy. But, nothing of the sort happens, Kate merely lowers herself obediently in between Agatha's spread legs.
''I told you to house-train your pets, Peps,'' Agatha says smugly, her nimble fingers moving to undo the zip of her trousers. I feel as though I might faint any moment now. ''How many years has it been now? Four? Five?'' her fingers dig in the opening of her zip, grasping at something I can't see, ''and she still remembers my training.''
From the gap she pulls another toy, also purple, but short and thick, and more realistic in looks. The thought of Agatha walking around with that hidden all evening makes my head spin, and my mouth water. Kate doesn't need instructions, and simply leans down to take Agatha in her mouth. With a smirk, the older woman collects all of Kate's hair to keep it away from her mouth. I have to breathe in through my nose and let my breath out through my mouth in order to calm my racing heart somewhat. But it's difficult when Maria talks about how Kate ''sucks cock like a champ'' and when Pepper is urging Agatha to ''make her choke on it''
Agatha seems to like Pepper's suggestion, because a few times she snaps her hips up sharply, and in response Kate makes a grotesque gagging noise, saliva dribbling from her chin to her chest. Even through all of this, I manage to keep it together, manage to ignore the way Agatha makes conversation with Maria as if Kate isn't sucking her off under the table.
But when after a few long minutes, Agatha hauls Kate up to sit in her lap, my brain seems to short-circuit. Kate lets out a contented sigh of relief, but this is only short-lived because the second she tries to lift herself up to fuck herself on it, Agatha stops her. Kate's lower lip trembles, and I'm sure she's going to put up a fight, but she remains silent. ''See?'' Agatha gloats, ''you can be a good girl. Go on, grind on my cock, Katie.'' She flips up Kate's skirt to reveal her cunt, soaking wet and swollen. My clit twitches and throbs, and I grasp at Wanda's hand, my fingers clutching hers desperately. I can't take my eyes off of her, and all I can think is why her, and not me?
Images of me in Kate's position flood my mind. I want Wanda to reach out and touch me, in front of everyone here, I don't care. I just need this ache to stop, but I don't know how to ask for it. Kate is getting desperate now, and I like to imagine that she's letting out my frustration for me. At least she can be loud, I have to sit here quietly.
She's struggling in Agatha's grasp, but the older woman holds her firmly in place. ''Please, please, please-'' she babbles, and I'm not sure who she's asking. ''Please what?'' Pepper answers. Kate's whole body trembles as Pepper gets up, moving to stand in front of Kate seated on Agatha's lap I can feel my own wetness, and I'm sure that if I were to touch myself now, my fingers would be covered in my own slick. My hands are sweaty, and my legs are shaking.
Pepper’s fingers find their home around Kate’s throat, and they both smile. Kate looks relieved, almost. ‘’Please take care of me mommy, I need- I need…’’ It comes out slightly garbled, but I can still make out the words. ‘’It’s okay baby, let’s empty that pretty head of yours.’’
I’m highly conscious of Wanda next to me, and I wonder what she thinks of this. Does she want this like I want this?
I wish this were us.
I wish I could ask her to take care of me.
When Kate comes, Agatha’s eyes find mine again, and I can almost hear her speaking to me, gloating and goading. I can almost feel her hands on my waist, just as they are on Kate’s. You wish this was you, don’t you?
The room feels much too hot, and I feel too exposed. My chair makes a loud scraping noise when I push it back, startling everyone except for Pepper and Kate, who seem to be in a world of their own.
Wanda rises to follow me, but I hear Agatha calling her to stay, and to let me go.
***
When I burst into the bedroom, where the windows have been open all evening, I notice how clammy I feel. My mouth is dry and tacky, the world spinning slightly on its axis. Maybe I had a little bit too much wine. But what else was I supposed to? All evening I’ve been trying to push Wanda’s trip from my mind, but I feel the horrible, twisted sadness creeping in again. My chest feels hollowed out, empty and gaping. I blame Agatha and her awful questions.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about this, I don’t want to cry, but I can feel it in my throat and behind my eyes. I swallow it back. I’m better than that, surely. I lower myself onto the edge of the bed on shaking arms. I want comfort, I want Wanda. But I can’t have her, I don’t know how to ask for this. I don’t even know what I want to ask for. What do I even want her to do? Fuck the sadness out of me? Maybe that idea isn’t half bad. At least then I won’t have to think about this. Maybe that’s why Kate wanted to do all of that today, maybe she just knows how to regulate her emotions better than I do.
Almost mechanically, I push myself back up, and make my way to the second bedroom, that once was meant to be mine. I pull out the tote bag that I had wedged between the headboard and the wall on my first day at the house. My toy doesn’t look like Kate’s, but it has a suction cup just like hers. This will do.
With trembling hands, I suction the toy to the smooth tiles of the bathroom floor. I make sure it's close enough to the bath, so I can drape my upper body over that when I inevitably lose the strength in my arms to keep myself upright. Hastily I slide my underwear down my legs, kicking them away into the corner and I sink down onto my knees. The tiles are hard and cold, and it's somewhat painful to kneel there. I think it's wonderful.
I'm wet all down my thighs, and yet I know I haven't been prepped properly. I know this will hurt for a while, but I welcome the pain. The lubricant spreads messily over my hand, cold and slick, as I wipe it off on the toy. Gingerly, I lower myself down over it, mewling as the cold head slips and slides over my heated clit. When I position the head over my entrance I realize just how unprepared I am for this, but I can't find it in myself to care, if I don't get this inside me now I feel as though I might collapse in on myself.
The stretch is significant, but it still slides in easily thanks to the combined wetness of my arousal and the lubricant. Just the head rests inside, and I have to breathe through the stinging pain. It doesn't hurt too much for me to continue, so I try to relax and bounce myself up and down a bit. After a few moments I feel able to take some more of the length, though it still stings. The head now rests comfortably against that one delicious spot inside of me, and I have to bite back a moan. How can something feel so uncomfortable, and yet so wonderful at the same time?
It takes only a few minutes for my body to adjust, and for the stinging to fade away into nothingness. Now all I feel is a primal, deep sort of need. My insides twist and squirm, begging for more, begging for some kind of relief, not just of the physical kind. The rhythm I establish is nothing short of messy, and it’s all wrong. I can’t get the pacing right, and that marvellous feeling of bottoming out on a toy is nowhere to be found. It feels good, but not good enough. Frustrated tears pool in my eyes, so thick and heavy they actually fall, dripping all the way down my chin onto my chest. After fifteen minutes I am half sobbing, half moaning, delirious from an ache I can’t satisfy. I need more, I need more, I need- I need-
When Wanda finds me, she looks surprised. Her mouth open and rounded into a perfect little oh. I can’t stop myself, not even with Wanda here. It aches so bad, and I can’t make it go away, no matter how much I try. I don’t want to think about how I must look to her now, red-faced and sobbing, still dressed, fucking myself on her bathroom floor. She doesn’t give me time to consider it. She is on her knees in front of me in a split second, her hands smoothing my hair away from my sweaty face. ‘’What do you need?’’ she asks, so earnestly I would cry, if I wasn’t crying already.
‘’Please, please, please, please.’’
I hang my head, to let it rest on her shoulder, breathing in her perfume as I take shuddering breaths in between each word. ‘’I need- need- you, please, I can’t- I can’t.’’ Wanda’s hands grasp my hips, trying to slow my movement, and I almost scream in utter frustration. ‘’No, no, no, puh-lease,’’ is all I can get out, before she shushes me. ‘’Honey, take a deep breath, and tell me what you need, I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.’’
I force myself to stay still, to breathe deeply in, and out, and again. Until my body relaxes somewhat into Wanda. ‘’There you go, good girl,’’ she coos, reigniting the heat in my belly once more. ‘’I can’t do it right,’’ I whine into her neck, my fingers grasping at her arms, ‘’I can’t feel and think at the same time, and I can’t get it to feel right.’’
She smooths a soothing hand down my back, and I can feel her smile into my hair. ‘’It’s okay, baby. Did seeing Katie like that get you excited?’’ I whimper, and nod, too far gone to even be ashamed of admitting it. She guides me off of the toy, ignoring my whines, and removing the toy from the tiles. ‘’It made me excited too, made me want you just like Agatha was having her, would you like that, sweet girl?’’ She helps me to my feet with my hands in hers, and just for this moment, I decide, it doesn’t matter. She has admitted to me, so now I may admit to her. Just for tonight. ‘’Please, I need you so badly.’’ I whisper, my eyes downcast to the blueish bathroom tiles, my fingers grasping tightly onto hers.
Wanda has smiled at me in a thousand different ways. She has a smile for everything, for an exceptionally well performing report, for over hours at work, for when I make her breakfast just right, for when she wants to say I love you without saying it. But now her smile is devilish and predatory, and this is entirely foreign to me.
Her lips curl up beautifully, her eyes shine with the infinite possibilities of her power over me. It’s the most dangerous smile she has ever given me, and yet I have never felt so safe.
***
Wanda guides me from the bathroom into the bedroom, and onto the bed. She positions me on my knees, on top of the soft sheets. From there, I watch as she strips, the muscles in her arms becoming more pronounced when she reaches up to pull her shirt over her head. She slips the harness on like it’s the most natural thing in the world, like tying her shoelaces, or doing up the buttons of a coat. She needs my help to fit the base of the toy through the ring, and with the combined shakiness of my hands, and the slickness of the toy, it takes a few moments before it’s comfortably in place. She kisses me, hastily, like she herself is impatient too, and she asks me quietly ‘’are you sure about this? Remember to tap out when you want to stop.’’ I nod so quickly that I fear I might have given myself whiplash, and my enthusiasm makes Wanda smile. I hesitate for half a second, but then I speak up, ‘’don’t go easy on me- please, I think I just need- I don’t know, I just want you to be a bit rough.’’
Wanda smiles again, and this time it’s a cocky thing, all smugness and pride. My insides twist at the thought of what is to come and my head buzzes at the sight of Wanda like this, cool and confident, perfectly at ease, perfectly in control. She knows I will bend for her, in whichever way she asks me to. She knows I’m all hers, to with as she pleases.
Her hand is warm and firm as she places it in the middle of my back, pushing down harshly to bend me over. I fall into position as though I was born to do this, my back arched prettily, legs spread as far as they can go. ‘’You really are gagging for it, aren’t you?’’ Wanda delights, so satisfied with herself that I can hear it in her voice. I don’t bother responding, I just whine and wiggle my ass for her.
The smack comes as somewhat of a surprise, startling me so much that I yelp out loud, my voice reverberating through the room. Her hand instantly rubs smoothing circles over my stinging skin, and the motion has me moaning hotly, leaning back into her, sticking out my ass, asking for more. She delivers two more hits that leave me reeling, and somewhere in the distance I can hear her snicker. ‘’I’m going to have so much fun putting you over my lap someday, sweetheart.’’
And I would respond to her, tell her how much I want that, but then her fingers find my soaked cunt and my brain goes silent. Her intake of breath, along with the slick sounds her fingers make, are the only sounds in the room for a few moments, but when she sinks two fingers into me, I groan just a bit too loudly. I push back against her, impatient for more, but she’s stubborn. She fucks into me lazily for a while, her hand splayed out on my back, holding me in place. Then suddenly her fingers are gone, leaving me empty and wanting.
I hold my breath, waiting for her strap, waiting for her to give me what I want. But seconds pass, and then a few minutes, and suddenly, the dam in me breaks completely. My arms give way underneath me, and a sob tears at my throat. I struggle in her grasp, fighting against the hand on my back, holding me in place. ‘’Ah, ah, ah,’’ Wanda muses, placing both of her hands on my hips now, so harshly that her fingernails dig into my skin, ‘’that’s not the way to ask.’’
Tears find their way back to my eyes and drip hotly onto my chest. I wail into the sheets underneath me, ‘’please, please, please.’’ The words tumble over and into each other, blending together in a jumbled mess of tears and saliva, and muffled by the sheets. ‘’Pl-ease, I need- I- I- oh…’’
Wanda finally takes pity on me, sliding her strap into me in one thrust, the front of her thighs resting against my backside. Her skin is warm, but against my overheated clammy skin, it’s like she’s icy cold. I am so wet that she slides right in, with absolutely no resistance. She holds me there for a while, and I relish in the way we fit together, Her cock pressed snugly against that sweet spot inside of me. Then, slowly, one of her hands creeps up towards my scalp, sliding in between my hair and scratching softly. ‘’Detka,’’ she muses, her voice velvety smooth, ‘’remember that you asked for this.’’
Then her hand balls up into a fist, collecting a handful of my hair and pulling hard. At the same time, she thrusts her hips into me, so harshly that my full body lurches forward. I would have fallen if she didn’t have such a strong hold on me. Some part of it hurts, and I know I will feel her tomorrow, but for now the pain makes it feel just that much better, and when her cock rubs me in just the right way I howl from the pleasure of it. She gives me no time to adjust before she sets a punishing pace, laughing at the way I squirm under her. It is somehow both too much, and yet still not enough.
Tears are steadily leaking from the corners of my eyes, and I’m having a hard time containing the saliva in my open, moaning mouth. Wanda delights in it, cooing at me with a slightly cruel tone of voice. ‘’You’re such a mess, baby. Is that really all it takes?’’ I can’t think, let alone string a sentence together. But she feels so good inside of me, and I need her to know this. In this position, I feel so totally enveloped by her, that it’s almost overwhelming. I suck in great lungfuls of air, trying to form any sounds that aren’t moans. I end up making some kind of wailing gasping noise, punctuated by a high-pitched squeak, as she tries to deliberately trip me up by giving me an extra rough thrust,
‘’Awww, what’s wrong, little dove? Is it too much? Do you need me to stop?’’ The hand in my hair releases its hold and my upper body, no longer supported by her strength, falls limply to the bed. She stays infuriatingly still inside of me, and I can hear her panting slightly as her hands cup my ass. When I try to move myself, they find their way back to my hips, holding me in place. ‘’Isn’t that better, dove? You were struggling so much, I think you’ve had enough.’’
I know she’s only teasing, but the threat of being left like this so horrifying that my tears begin to flow once more. ‘’No, no, no, no, please, please don’t.’’ I try to buck my hips into her, but I can’t move a millimetre with her holding me so tightly. She chuckles at my cries of frustration, clearly amused by this display of desperation. She pulls out lightly, just to tease me a bit, sliding her strap in and out in a slow and steady pace that leaves me reeling. I am so close, and I know that if she touched me in just the right way, it wouldn’t take long.
In one final act of desperation I reach for one of the hands grasping my hips, and she must think I simply want to hold it, because she lets go of one of my hips to entangle her fingers with mine. Carefully I guide her around my body, flatting her hand so that her palm is flush against my skin. I find the spot with ease, and lay my hand over hers, pressing her into my lower stomach, where I know she can now feel herself inside of me.
She swears loudly, and she moves experimentally to feel the bulge of her cock. ‘’Please,’’ I whimper, ‘’you feel so good inside of me, please, please, I need more.’’ I expect for this to break her, for her to finally give me what I want, but if anything it gives her more restraint. She relishes in the feel of her cock bulging in my lower stomach, I can tell by the way she presses down on me, and increases the force behind her thrusts. She refuses to speed up though, simply pulling out languidly, before thrusting back in with considerable force behind it. It’s sloppy, and on every other thrust her strap slips out and slides over my clit as she tries to push back into me. This act alone brings me right to the edge, the feel of the slick ridges of her cock over my aching clit, pulls the knot in my abdomen ever tighter. It’s so, so very close to what I need, but it’s still not enough.
The frustration of the night, combined with the fears surrounding Wanda’s trip and the painful edging she’s putting me through, finally become too much. I let myself cry in earnest, feebly trying to buck my hips into her, trashing in her arms as she holds me close to her. I can’t take this any more, I can’t think, I can hardly breathe.
‘’Say something nice,’’ Wanda muses, amusement clear in her voice, ‘’and I’ll think about letting you come.’’
‘’Mo-mmy-‘’ I whimper, no longer able to contain myself, too far gone to think straight, I echo Kate’s desperate plea from easier. Behind me, Wanda stills, her grip on me loosens, and I find room to throw my hips back, fucking myself on her cock. She doesn’t try to stop me. One of her hands finds its way to my throat, pulling me up slowly until I’m flush with her front, her breasts pressing against the bare skin of my back. ‘’Say that again,’’ she whispers, her breath hot against the shell of my ear.
I’m so ready to come, I try to spread my legs, to slide my own hand down to rub at my clit, but Wanda is too quick for me. With her free hand she catches my wrist, and she holds my body in position with the combined grip on my throat and her thighs holding mine steady. ‘’I said, say that again,’’ she hisses, giving my throat an extra squeeze.
‘’Mommy,’’ I whine, ‘’Please, I wanna- I- I need-‘’
‘’I know, little dove,’’ Wanda coos, pulling out of me fully, and guiding me to lay on my back, ‘’do you want mommy to make it all better?’’ Somehow, when she repeats it back to me the reality of what I’ve done begins to set in, somewhere in the back of my mind my anxiety kick-starts. Now there’s a battle waging in my mind, between shame and desire. But with Wanda’s soft hands on my skin, and the still slick strap bobbing between her thighs, my shame buckles for my desire. My face flushes, and I shake my hair in front of my face to hide myself, but I nod, and hum my ascent. Yes, yes, I do want her to make it better.
She pulls a pillow from the pile at the top of the headboard, and manoeuvres it to fit under my hips. She looks magnificent above me, with flushed cheeks and a heaving chest. She’s nude, save for the harness around her hips, and I cannot believe that she is all mine. Some of her flyaway hairs stick to her sweaty brow, and I get the overwhelming urge to brush smooth my hand over them and press a kiss on her forehead afterwards. And I would have reached up to do it, but then she’s between my legs again. The strap, now slightly cold, but still slick, slides up and over my clit, and I am instantly and forcibly reminded of the intense burning heat in my gut. I was so close to the edge only moments ago, and as she warms up her strap, I am pushed right back towards that edge.
When she’s ready, she holds my legs up and open for her. The tops of my thighs touch my stomach, and I squirm at the feel of my tummy being on display like this. I cringe at the thought of what I must look like, and Wanda must notice because she frowns slightly, her brows drawing together in disapproval. One hand leaves my thigh to cradle my cheek, and she leans in for a lazy kiss, open-mouthed and messy. When she pulls back, her hand finds its way back to my thigh, spreading me open. ‘’You’re stunning every day, my love,’’ she says, sliding the tip of her strap into me, ‘’but when you’re spread like this, ready for my cock, you’re absolutely ravishing.’’
When she slides her cock in all the way, she stays there for just a few moments, resting her forehead against mine. We let out a synchronized sound of contentment. I am beyond relieved to feel her back inside of me, the sense of completion is almost overwhelming. This quiet moment doesn’t last, however, because soon I am squirming against her once more. I grind my hips deliberately, feeling her moving in me. I look down to my lower stomach, where I can just make out the bulge of her cock. And without looking, I can tell she’s watching it too.
Finally, finally, Wanda’s restraint gives out. Using her grip on my thighs as leverage, she pushes into me harshly, driving all the air in my lungs clean out of me. The feel of it is heavenly, and I want to arch my back, contort my face and howl with the pleasure of it. But Wanda can see my face now, and her view of my body makes me uncomfortable. I fight to stay in control of my reaction, fight to make myself look pretty, or at least presentable. Wanda, ever the observer, notices within seconds. ‘’Ah, ah, ah,’’ she chides, ‘’none of that, let it go now, dove. You’re safe with me, I’ve got you, just let go.’’ Mercifully, she leans forward, covering my face with her sheet of long hair, giving me a respite from the ugly feeling of being known. There, under the cover of her hair, and the safety of the crook of her neck, I allow myself to let go.
In this new position, she’s resting most of her body weight on me, and she puts considerable force behind her thrusts. My moans are broken, and desperate, my voice cracking as I beg her to ruin me. I lose track of what precisely I’m saying, but Wanda seems to love it. With easy access to her neck, I lick and suck and bite to my heart's content. She turns her head slightly to make it easier for me to reach, and it’s clear that she’s enjoying herself from the way she shudders every time I run my tongue over the hard muscle in her neck. She moans softly when I bite down her tender skin, not hard enough to make her bleed, just enough to create a pretty red mark. Her moans make my head spin with want. The knowledge of being desired by her, is more erotic to me than any kind of physical touch could be. Wanda Maximoff moaning above me feels like heaven on earth.
It doesn’t take long before Wanda’s movements become more frenzied, and I wonder if she, like me, is impatient for my orgasm to arrive. It’s only when she shifts our position, lowering one of my legs slightly to give herself a better angle, that I realize what is going on. She moans loudly and almost obscenely into my ear, and I wonder how I ever managed to live without having experienced this. Heat, like nothing I’ve felt before, erupts throughout my body. From the very tips of my toes to the ends of my hair, I am utterly incandescent.
Her moans stutter in their rhythm, and I know what’s going to happen. I hold her tightly to me, my mouth on her neck, my legs locked firmly behind her back. ‘’Oh- oh God.’’ She keens, ‘’I- oh- I’m sorry honey, I think I’m gonna-‘’ I detach my mouth from the hickey I’m steadily developing at her pulse point for just long enough to moan out my response, ‘’Come inside me, please, mommy,’’ I plead, my voice obscenely high-pitched and whiney, ‘’you feel so good, please- please.’’
Wanda comes first, and it’s a marvellous fall from grace. She grasps at me, her body pushing into mine so firmly that it feels as though she’s trying to merge us into one. Her moans so close to my ear, and so desperate and needy, finally push me over the edge. My whole body seizes up so forcefully that I worry I might tear a muscle. I hold onto Wanda for dear life as she fucks me through my peak, her cheek pressed to mine as she rides out her own pleasure.
It takes a while for us to come back to ourselves, both still reeling from our release. Wanda stills inside of me, propping herself up to come nose to nose with me. She’s laughing, but I feel beyond exhausted. Still, I encourage her gently to rest her full body weight on me and to keep her cock inside of me for a while. We snuggle like that, not speaking, just breathing each other in. My hand finds her hair and I scratch her scalp softly with my nails. My anxiety is creeping up on slowly, replacing the relaxation in my body steadily with that too familiar uneasy gut feeling.
Even in this state, Wanda picks up on the change in me. I don’t know if I have given her any physical cues, or if she can somehow sense the change in energy, but she notices nonetheless. Without further ado, she makes us get up. I wince at the rawness of my body when she pulls her cock out of me, and Wanda laughs when she sees the state of her neck in the bathroom mirror.
She draws us a bath, throwing in some lavender scented oil, and we both clamber into it on unsteady legs. We wash each other with soft cloths, and talk through some of our experiences of the night. Wanda has a lot of questions for me, which I understand. She wants to know why I didn’t go to her first when I was frustrated, and why I retreated into my head so much when we came face to face in such an intimate moment. But I’m too tired to open those wounds up now, and even the soft light of the bathroom feels too overstimulating on my tired head. So, kind as ever, Wanda accepts that today is not the day, and she merely draws me back to her chest, singing her lullaby to me as we hold each other close.
When the water gets cold, and my head feels a bit clearer, I hop out of the bath to dress myself in something cosy and warm. I have to dash through the bathroom, wrapped in my towel, to grab some clothes from my dresser. I decide against pyjamas, considering we still have guests. So, instead, I settle for a well fitting pair of black joggers and a wonderfully soft roll neck top. According to the clock on Wanda’s night stand, an hour and ten minutes have passed since I first made my way upstairs.
I wonder what everyone else has been doing in the time we’ve been gone, and I wonder too if they know what we’ve been up to. But, I reason with myself, even if they know it won’t be a big deal to them, considering Agatha fucked Kate at the dinner table like it was the most normal thing in the world.
I am beginning to feel the lack of dinner, though, and my stomach growls loudly when I re-enter the bathroom. Wanda has drained the bath by now, but she’s turning the shower head on. ‘’Aren’t you coming downstairs with me?’’ I ask, as I watch her step carefully back into the tub. ‘’I just want to wash my hair quickly, dove,’’ she says over the sound of falling water. ‘’You can go, I’ll join you soon.’’
***
I leave Wanda in the bathroom to take her shower, and head downstairs groggily in search of tea and a snack. I’m quite sure everyone left, because the house is dead silent, but I’m in for a surprise when I walk into the living room intending to pick up a blanket to stave off the chill running through me. Kate occupies the sofa, laying down with my favourite blanket covering her. Pepper and Maria are nowhere to be found, but Agatha is there, reclining in one of the armchairs, a paperback folded double in her hands, her glasses once more perched at the edge of her nose.
She looks up when I enter the room, and suddenly I’m hyper aware of my messed up hair, and I’m grateful to Wanda for helping me to clean up. I wouldn’t be able to bear it if I had come down with my tear streaked makeup. Still, Agatha smiles at me as though I had come down looking freshly fucked.
‘’I bet that was a weight off your shoulders, huh hon?’’ I stare at her blankly, my brain too sluggish to comprehend her words. She laughs, ‘’well, Katie and I went up to the guest bathroom to freshen up after our little session, and it sounds like you two had a marvelous time.’’ Mortified, I raise my hands up to my face to hide myself from her. It was bad enough that Wanda heard that outburst, but the knowledge that Agatha heard, and not just her but Kate too, makes my throat constrict painfully.
Kate shifts on the sofa, turning her face outward and towards me. She’s clearly sleepy, her eyes half closed. ‘’She’s not teasing you,’’ she mumbles, ‘’I know it feels like it, but she isn’t.’’ She yawns hugely, turning over again, and settling the blanket over herself more securely. ‘’That must have felt nice to finally let out.’’
I shrug half-heartedly, embarrassed tears prickling in my eyes. Agatha rises from her chair, plopping her book down onto the seat, and whipping off her glasses. ‘’Come on, we should let Katie rest.’’ With a firm but gentle hand on my lower back, she steers me towards the door, leaving no room for argument. I don’t bother trying to fight it, and I allow myself to be guided through the living room into the bright LED lighted kitchen.
When she lets go of me, I move away from her, hugging myself tightly, wishing Wanda would hurry up already. She leans back comfortably against the kitchen counter, and I feel myself shrink under her gaze. I want to turn around and walk away, or snap at her for looking me with those all-knowing eyes. I hold myself securely, shielding myself from attacks that won’t come, trying to breathe through the discomfort of being known.
‘’I know that you feel dirty’’ Agatha says finally, breaking this awful silence, ‘’you’re ashamed, and you’re afraid of these feelings you can’t make sense of.’’ She steps closer to me, a strong hand outstretched, like a hunter approaching a startled deer in the forest. ‘’One day you’ll learn to proud of these feelings, and it will give you the peace you’ve always craved. But only if you open yourself up, and let us help you.’’
She’s so close to me that I can feel the heat radiating off of her body. She smells like lavender, and the veins of her hand stick out like rivers carving a path through land. Involuntarily, my eyes flit down to her trousers, where her bulge is still visible. A shiver runs through me when I recall Kate writhing on her lap, Agatha’s strong hands holding onto her, delighting in her pleasure, in the way she begged and the words she used. Unashamed, ecstatic, and free.
Fresh tears dribble slowly down my cheeks, and instinctively I turn to face away from her, but she’s too quick for me. In half a heartbeat she has me pressed tightly against her, one hand cradling the back of my head, the other resting on my lower back. She rocks me lightly, shushing me, in a way that is too clinical to be motherly. Still, this display of gentleness from her shocks me so much that I don’t even fight against it, instead I welcome the wave of tears that rolls over me. ‘’I’m disgusting,’’ I manage finally between the tears and the heaving breaths I have to take, ‘’I don’t know what’s wrong with me.’’
She lets go of me now, the moment of affection passing just as quickly as it came. She’s back to scrutinizing me, but now there’s something like pity in her eyes. It makes the underside of my skin itch. ‘’Why do you think you’re disgusting?’’
The notepad is back, arrows and lines and squiggles and stars all over the paper. I didn’t even see where it came from. The lights are too bright, and the counters smell like lemon. It makes me feel somewhat nauseous. I look at the black ink when I speak, deliberately avoiding her gaze.
‘’It’s not natural.’’
Agatha snorts derisively, ‘’depriving children of a loving and nurturing relationship to their parents isn’t natural. This response is nothing but natural. Your brain is protecting you, in the absence of a protector. You are trying to fill in the gaps, in the only way you know how.’’ I hug my chest again, noticing how little comfort I find in my own cold hands, now I’ve felt Agatha’s warm body against mine. ‘’What are you so afraid of?’’ She asks, her pen skirting over the paper. I like to imagine she’s writing my answer down for me.
‘’She’s going to think that I’m weak, and hate me for being so needy. I can’t let this out, because then I won’t know how to go back.’’
Her eyes twinkle when she looks up at me from her paper, the lines by her eyes contracting as she smiles. ‘’Have you spoken to Wanda about this?’’
My head hurts, and I can’t tell if it’s because of the crying, or the bright lights bouncing off of the white marble counter tops. I shake my head, my fingers picking at the skin around my nails, it’s already bleeding.
‘’Do you think you believe she won’t accept this side of you, because you don’t accept it?’’ I close my eyes, agitation returning to me. I’m too tired for this, I’m too tired for anything. ‘’I think you’ve made your judgement already. You clearly think that’s the case.’’
‘’I do,’’ she says, not the slightest bit of venom in her voice, though I had expected it. ‘’Clearly you loathe yourself so much that you’re depriving yourself of any form of love and acceptance she tries to give to you.’’ There is no malice behind this statement, but it still stings, and I flinch as though she has struck me. My nose has closed up from the crying, and I have to breathe through my mouth in an effort to steady myself, trying to hold back the next wave of tears. Agatha is surprisingly patient as I try to collect myself enough to be able to get some words out.
‘’I- I want to accept it.’’ I begin, my voice thick from the tears, ‘’I want it so bad, more than anything else, and I never thought I had an issue with accepting love, but- but…’’ I trail off, shrugging my shoulders half-heartedly, ‘’I don’t know, I’m just so scared uncovering all of this because if she doesn’t like me like this, I don’t know if I could bear it.’’
Agatha nods sagely, patting my arm in a vaguely comforting way. She reaches behind me for the paper towels, ripping off two sheets and handing them to me, so I can dry my eyes and blow my nose. ‘’You need to calm down a bit, alright, hon? I’m going to make us some nice tea, and then you’re going to listen to what I have to say.’’
There is no room for ifs or buts, so I just wipe my tears, and nod along. She kindly gives me a second to sort myself out, turning her back on me to put the kettle on. When my tears are finally dry, she sets a steaming mug of tea in front of me, and directs me to sit at the bar stool. She sits right next to me, so close that our knees touch. Her glasses are back on her nose now, and I’m grateful for the mug because it gives me something to do with my hands.
‘’A mother complex in sapphic women is often viewed as repulsive by outsiders,’’ she begins, her voice reassuring and gentle, ‘’whilst a father complex in heterosexual women is very widely accepted, and people don’t bat an eye at a girl who calls her bed partner daddy,’’ she says, giving me a significant look, ‘’but a girl calling her partner mommy? They can’t cope with it. As a society we’ve been a bit desensitized by the word daddy, because we’ve been taught to accept it in a sexual context. The word mommy hasn’t got the same treatment, so it’s still viewed very much in the context of a mother and child. People find it especially inflammatory when a younger and older woman respectively engage in such a dynamic.’’
She lays a warm hand on my knee, and my skin burns with the contact. ‘’What you feel is normal, your inner child has been so severely neglected that she’s screaming for love and affection. You don’t need your mother, you need your mommy, and those are two entirely separate people.’’
I hang my head, letting out a shaky breath, ‘’I’m so tired of taking care of myself all the time,’’ I admit, my voice shaking. Agatha rubs her hand in gentle circles on my back, ‘’so let go, and trust that we will catch you.’’ Her use of we doesn’t escape me, but I’m too exhausted to question her on this. Her words sound so sweet, and so promising, I want to sink into her and let this all go. I can’t though, I know I can’t give into this temptation. My resolve is breaking, I can feel it, and it’s so hard to not give into her. A compromise then, however much the truth can be a compromise.
‘’I really want to,’’ I begin, and I can already tell that she knows exactly where this is going. Maybe she knew where this day would end when she cornered me in the kitchen for the first time. ‘’But I can’t let myself do this, because I think it’ll ruin me.’’ Agatha gives me a sceptical look, ‘’you’re full of shit, did you know that?’’ I laugh, before I realize how serious her tone is. ‘’You’re going against your nature, and it’s going to end up hurting a lot more than it already is.’’ I shift uncomfortably in my seat, staring at the laces of her shoes. ‘’you don’t know that.’’
She laughs humourlessly, ‘’Which one of us has the PhD, hon?’’ I pull a face, unable to contain myself any longer. ‘’Are you this rude to paying clients?’’ This makes her smile, the curve of her lips breaking the icy cold mask that was previously there. ‘’No, lucky for you, you’re not paying me.’’
‘’I just don’t know how to accept it,’’ I blurt out suddenly, unable to bear this awful tension, knowing she disproves of my choices. ‘’She’s going to think I’m a freak, and she’ll hate me for it, and then I’ll lose her. But I want to let go just like Kate can, I want that so bad. I don’t know how to do that without terrifying Wanda.’’
‘’You underestimate her,’’ Agatha says, ‘’you saw how she was with Pepper and Kate.’’
‘’That’s different,’’ I say evasively, making Agatha roll her eyes. ‘’How is that different?’’ I shrug, ‘’it’s one thing to watch someone else do it, it’s another thing entirely to do it yourself.’’ Apparently that’s notebook worthy, because she scribbles something down messily, the pen excreting a bit more ink than is necessary, staining the paper with a dark blob of ink. ‘’I’ve known Wanda a lot longer than you have, and I’ve known her intimately. She’s insecure, and stubborn and just as afraid of you to admit it to you, but she needs someone to take care of.’’
I stare at the jet black blob of ink, focused on how it seeps into the paper. It bleeds into the thin white sheet like blood sinking into snow. A part of my brain itches with excitement, screaming at me to listen to Agatha. Another part of begins to loosen its grip on the doubt.
‘’If it takes me banging your heads together to make you understand, I will.’’ She says, and I have a feeling that this isn’t a joke. ‘’In the meantime, let’s start small, with something you already know, but that isn’t fully in your comfort zone yet.’’ She pats my knee and smiles at me In a somewhat condescending manner. ‘’When we get back to the living room you’re going to kneel for Wanda, I know you enjoy that, so that should be a nice way to get this ball rolling.’’
I open my mouth to protest, several urgent questions rushing to the forefront of my mind, but she’s way ahead of me, holding up a finger to silence me. ‘’None of that, this isn’t a request, dear. Now, we really should find Wanda, she’s taking an awfully long time up there.’’ She’s up now, and peeking out the door, listening for movement upstairs.
‘’H- how did you know, about the- the kneeling thing.’’ I say weakly. ‘’Hmm?’’ she hums vaguely, still alertly waiting for any signs of life from the upper story of the house. ‘’Oh, Wanda told me ages ago now. She said you were mad for it.’’
‘’Oh.’’ I say dumbly, thinking about Wanda and Agatha chatting about me in such a casual way. I wonder what else she has told her. The thought of it all makes my face burn.
A few more moments pass of the older woman standing guard at the door, before she finally shows a sign of life again. ‘’Wanda’s coming,’’ she warns, pulling my half drunk mug of tea from my hands, and dumping it out into the sink alongside hers. Hardly 10 seconds later I hear her footsteps on the stairs, and I can tell she’s about to walk past the kitchen, but Agatha calls out to her.
‘’There you are,’’ Wanda says from the open doorway, and I’m so relieved to see her again, smiling and happy to see me, even after what happened. She leans against the frame, her hair wet and her shirt damp at the neck, smiling like everything is fine. It gives me hope that maybe everything is fine, and that Agatha is right after all.
Agatha moves past us, muttering something about Pepper and Maria, and an unexpected zoom call. When the door falls closed behind her, Wanda stretches out her arms towards me, inviting me in for a hug. She smells like shampoo, and fresh laundry, and it’s the most comforting smell in the world to me now. She holds me tightly, one hand on my back, and another on the back of my head. We stand there for a while, silently swaying in each other’s arms. I don’t want to let go, so I hold on even when she begins to speak. ‘’Are you sure you don’t want to talk about what happened?’’ she asks, in a voice so gentle that I can’t even bring myself to imagine that she hates me for this. I shake my head as much as I can in this position, and mumble into the crook of her neck, ‘’no, please not tonight.’’ My voice cracks a little bit and I curse myself for this weakness when I feel her squeeze me a little tighter.
The voices from the living room have increased in volume, raucous laughter coming through the closed door. Just like that, the spell is broken, and we let go of each other. I yawn slightly, rubbing at my eyes. ‘’Do you want to go back to bed?’’ Wanda asks, surveying me with a cocked head. ‘’No, it’s okay, let’s go see the others and if I’m too tired I can always go to bed anyway.’’
***
Finally, we move to the living room, where Pepper and Maria have returned and are now laughing over some pictures on Maria’s phone. Kate has moved from the couch and is curled up comfortably between Pepper’s legs, kneeling on the plush carpet. They all smile when we enter, and I hide myself behind Wanda bashfully, flushing at the thought of Agatha or Kate having told them what they heard. They go right back to their conversation, though, and Wanda steers me towards where Pepper is sitting. I can feel Agatha’s eyes on me, and I remember the demand she made of me. Instantly, my heart picks up its pace and I can feel my hands beginning to sweat.
I’m saved from having to make the request, however, because Wanda notices how I haven’t sat down even when she indicated for me to do. She looks between me and Kate, who’s snuggled up close to Pepper. Then, she leans down to whisper in my ear ‘’do you want to sit up here, or kneel with Katie?’’
I fidget slightly, making eye contact, first with Agatha, who gives me a slow nod, and then with Kate, who’s looking up at me with a welcoming smile. ‘’It’s nice down here, you know?’’ she says, her voice friendly and teasing. And her encouragement, combined with Wanda’s reassuring squeeze to my hand, is enough to embolden me to lower myself down to my knees, even with everybody watching me.
Wanda’s fingers find their way into my hair, Pepper and Maria continue with their laughter, Agatha winks at me, her smirk clearly showing her approval, and Kate’s fingers creep towards mine across the carpet, intertwining our fingers and squeezing in a gesture of sisterhood. It feels like she’s saying, see? Isn’t this nice?
And it is, it really is. I squeeze back, and hope she knows what I mean.
━━━━━━━━━ ✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯ ━━━━━━━━━
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#little dove au#char writes#c: wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff x female reader
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