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#career wise but also that make me feel ignorant or behind still. in a good way
lesbicastagna · 9 months
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it's proof of the doomed human nature that the more you learn the more ignorant you feel
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harlowtales · 4 months
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Jack and Y/N keep their relationship a secret and hide their true feelings 🤫
18+ only Adult Themes - Romance/Drama
Jack slipped out from under you resting your head on his chest and your leg flung over his legs. The moonlight hit his lean muscular body and broad shoulders just right.
“Jack” You said hoarsely, “Why didn’t you wake me? I have to go. We have that big meeting in the morning.”
“You never stop working do you?” He said mid-yawn.
“Well we can’t walk in there together.” You said practically
“And what would be the fucking big deal if we did.” He said defensively
“Jack come on be sensible.” You said getting up hurriedly to start finding your clothes.
“Be sensible” he mocked you “Look I gotta pee, when I get out of the bathroom if you’re gone I’m telling everyone at the label what we’re doing in all those “dinner meetings.”” He gently threatened as he pecked you on the forehead.
This had gone too far already. At first you and Jack couldn’t stand each other and now you were sneaking around behind everyone’s back. You had even went on a few getaways to remote places in disguise using fake names. So far so good. Nobody at Generation Now knew. It would ruin your career if it was found out that a top CEO at Atlantic records was messing around with talent half their age. You had even met Jack’s family and had a hard time looking them in the eye as you were almost old enough to be his mother.
“Ah, good, you’re still here.” He said, now wearing his underwear and a tank top. He was the most gorgeous man you had ever been with. His eyes sparkling blue were an incredible compliment to his cherry red pouty lips and pillowy famous curls. He made you belly laugh which you hadn’t done in years and was wise beyond his years.
He was so open to learning from you about life and business. In fact Jack was in love. He had fallen hard a while ago but knew if he told you it would mess up everything. So he continued to see other people and so did you, both knowing nobody came close to what you had with each other. The jealousy was also growing with the two of you trying to act like you were above it.
“You sure you have to go now or you got another situation waiting?” Jack asked with a smirk trying to hide his insecurities with a bit of jerkiness. He had pulled you close now, towering over you, making it harder to leave.
“Don’t you have like 10 bitches on speed dial to come over after I leave?” You said slightly salty
“At least 10.” Jack said truthfully “But why when my hands are full right now.” He said grabbing your behind with both his hands and kissing you.
“Jack I...” You started to say in weak protest
“Just at least fucking cuddle with me y/n. Don’t leave like this.” He said softly guiding you back to the bed. “You know I gotta get my little spoon on.”
Jack made you loosen up a bit. You had tried shrooms, gone to soccer games in England, and been to “the hood” with him in Louisville to get the best food. All things you never would have done before in your CEO circles. Whenever you were in public you acted professionally with some mild friendliness and so far nobody was onto you. Drama was just happy you were getting along. While you and Jack cuddled it made you think back to when you first met.
You thought he was a pompous pretty boy with the way he strutted into your office with 4 of his best friends, manager, bodyguard, and two girls that you couldn’t figure out what they actually did on his team. He thought you were a typical snotty CEO with your blazer, hair pinned up, pencil skirt, heels, and glasses. Jack wasn’t much for New York slick business person types.
“Mr.Harlow.” You remember saying when you met him.
“Jack will do.” He said politely but with an edge in his tone. He didn’t like being called Mr. Harlow.
“Mr.Harlow.” You continued coldly, ignoring how he wanted to be addressed. “You have one more album you have to do under Atlantic. We are interested in purchasing Private Garden Records.”
“No fucking way.” Jack said immediately. “Y’all will turn it into some commercial shit.”
“Mr…” You said
“It’s Jack. Call me Jack or I walk out of here.” He said hotly
“Jack let me handle this.” Neelam said sensing he was getting too angry to negotiate
“Just tell her it’s no.” He said
It was the worst meeting with Atlantic holding one more album over Jack’s head and threatening to take over the label he built from the ground up with his friends.
“You were rude and you’re going to fix this” Drama said shaking his head when Jack made his way to Atlanta to talk it over with the “3 Kings.” As Jack called his “OG’s”. “I know Y/N, she does solid honest business. It’s a good offer you should consider. Nothing would really change, and The Homies would have even more reach. You could even sign James and get Gee over from Gotti. This is business Jack. Your heart is always on your sleeve. I want you to take Y/N out for dinner and squash this dumb beef you have with this woman. Be careful, she’s beautiful, you know how you are especially with older women.” Drama cautioned.
“You don’t have to tell me. Snotty bitches ain’t my type.” Jack said pissed Drama was asking him to break bread with that vulture who wanted his label. If Private Garden was owned by some New York big machine, it would lose its Louisville distinction. He would not let her have it. “Fine, we’ll make peace but she ain’t getting my label.” He said begrudgingly.
“Whatever Jack. At the end of the day just remember you can have 20% of something major or 100% of nothing. I’ll support you no matter what.” Drama said
Jack offered to pick you up from the airport. He was waiting in the back of an SUV when he caught sight of you. Urban looked at him sideways “You good bro?” He asked knowing that look on Jack’s face and suspicious there was attraction on both sides hence the hostility.
“I’m fine why?” Jack said not taking his eyes off you. “I just want to get this over with bro.”
“You don’t have to do this. You could say fuck this bitch and it’s a wrap. Do your last album and go.” Urban said which actually was exactly what Jack wanted to do, but Drama’s reputation could be damaged if he didn’t at least try to recover from the earlier meeting in New York.
You had your long thick dark curly hair in a slick ponytail. It was specially blown out for the occasion, a simple body hugging black dress, minimal jewelry, Versace sunglasses, a cute clutch bag, and smelled incredible with your favourite Marc Jacobs perfume. You went for a minimal glowy look with your makeup, not wanting to be too flashy for Louisville.
You looked breathtakingly elegant and classy. You knocked on the SUV window and Jack opened the door to the huge back end. “Y/N” he said coldly
“Mr. Harlow.” You said just as icy back. “Urban.” You nodded to his best friend. “Do you ever go anywhere by yourself?” You asked Jack not expecting Urban to be on a business dinner.
“Anything you say to me you can say in front of Urban.” Jack maintained mesmerized by your legs as you crossed them in sitting to take a load off from your flight. “You look tired. Must’ve been a long flight on your broom.” He dug at you.
“Listen Jack…” you said irritated
“Ah she finally said my name Urb.” Jack smiled which annoyed you even more.
“Are you always this mature?” You said sarcastically rolling your eyes.
“Let’s just get this over with to say we did it ok?” Jack said turning to look out the window. “You ain’t getting PG anyway.”
“Jack I would never take it from you.” You said earnestly catching him off guard. “I want to buy it to make sure it’s not lost and it can grow into something amazing for Louisville.”
“Oh, I guess we can talk about that.” Jack said thoughtfully. Urban shook his head knowing it would be hard for Jack to withstand an offer coming from such a gorgeous smart woman. “Urb, you wouldn’t mind if I took this one alone with Y/N would you?”
“Aside from the free meal, I would rather be anywhere else.” Urban said happy to get out of listing to business talk.
“Y/N” Jack said shaking you awake. “Baby it’s time to get up.” You had dozed off and didn’t realize. You were holding Jack from behind in a spooning position.
“I had the weirdest dream about when we went for dinner.” You said groggy wishing he had let you dream. “I was just getting to the part where we…you know.” You remembered your one nightstand with fondness.
“It’s a thin line between love and hate baby.” Jack said kissing you. The deal to buy PG was a year in the making. Today was the day for all parties to sign on the dotted line and you would be taking over as CEO of the label. “We’re gonna make PG great babe.” He said. He had grown to trust you.
“Jack…I…I love Y…Kentucky. I love Kentucky and I won’t turn into anything else. It’s all you. I’ll just be making deals expanding the label. You’ll burn out trying to be all things to all people and I will do anything to make sure you’re ok.”
“You sure it’s just Kentucky you love?” He asked looking deeply into your eyes overwhelmed with emotion.
“Jack we can’t…I mean you and me can’t…” You stuttered suddenly sweating a bit.
“I know I know but I…I could handle it if it ever happened.” He said deciding not to say he loved you and focus on business.
“In a perfect world sure. That would be…amazing.” You said trailing off in a wishful gaze.
@okaaay-mice @itsyagirljaz
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obsolescent · 9 months
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Southern Charm - Chapter One
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Pairing: Ethan Winters x GN!Reader
Summary: You begin working at a new company, meeting the coworker you’ll work with the most. He’s attracted to your southern charm and can’t help the feelings that rise. From the accent to the way you move, it captivates him. How much longer can he stay quiet about the blossoming infatuation he has for you? The person before Mia.
Author's Note: The first chapter of the winning story for my 100 followers celebration! So the first chapter is just setting things up, it takes a long time to get to LA from the south, lol. Not that much excitement going on yet but you do speak to Ethan some. Also, I am starting to add tags to the ends of my writings, so if you would like to be tagged (or removed from the tags) let me know. Enjoy!
Content Warnings: Cultural differences, mentions of anxiety, will update for future chapters.
Cross-Posted to Ao3
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Systems Engineering has been described as an integrative field of engineering management that centers around how to design and manage complex systems over their cycles of life. That’s quite the mouthful. Thank the Lord that is not your career field. Your head spins just thinking about your soon-to-be-coworker’s job description. A computer science degree is what you have, filling in the role for their database administrator. 
You had seen the job opening and applied, amongst countless others, not thinking much of it. To your surprise, your application was accepted and after the initial screening of the hiring process you were congratulated on being selected for the job. You’re now relocating to California for the position, leaving your hometown in the south for a fresh start across the country. You always joked to your friends that if you went west of the Mississippi River you would be leaving your soul behind.
Crossing into the city limits of Amarillo, Texas, you feel something ebbing away after each mile that’s put between you and your hometown. You try not to think too much about the ache in your bones, already feeling the waning of your resolve. You stop in the city for the night to rest. You wanted to tackle the trip in under a few days, having driven around halfway now, you figure it’s a good stopping point for the night. You find a reasonably priced inn for the night. The place is astonishingly unique, something you hadn’t seen before.
Arriving at your room, you brought in only the essentials: items for showering, skincare, and a change of clothes. You make your way to the bathroom, wanting to wash the day away after being confined to your car for so long. You only stopped to stretch your legs and to grab a bite to eat, but the soothing warmth of the shower beckoned you, soothing some of those pangs in your heart. You towel off and slip on your usual pajamas, sliding into the sheets of the bed.
You dig through your bag you left beside the bed, pulling out and plugging your phone into its charger, setting an early alarm to tackle the remainder of the trip. You ignore the messages from friends and loved ones, opting to open the one from your new coworker. You had been given his information during the onboarding process, having completed the majority of it before arriving at the physical location. Since you’ll be working closely with him, it was wise to get to know him beforehand, also reducing some anxiety you had over it all.
“Hey. Safe travels, looking forward to meeting you in person.
Hope the drive’s been OK.”
You smile at the message, typing your response.
“Thank you, Ethan, I appreciate that. 
Reckon the drive hasn’t been too bad so far. 
I’m fixin’ to go to bed, but I’m looking forward to meeting you too.”
You do a quick once over on your message before sending, not too worried about your accent showing through your typing. Already feeling at ease with speaking to him like you normally would. Not long afterwards you receive his reply. It’s still pretty early for him, so you’re not surprised he’s awake.
“That’s great, I’m glad.
And you’re welcome. 
Goodnight, get plenty of rest.”
He’s been nothing but friendly, something you had been worried about when preparing to move out of the region. Hearing from others experiences outside of the southern United States, it’s a cultural shock at how others can be. Not saying everyone is like that, you’re not one to stereotype, but many aren’t as warm as they are down in the south. You’ll definitely have to do some adapting once arriving.
You tell him goodnight as well, before setting your phone to ‘Do Not Disturb,’ laying it down on the nightstand. You reach over and flick the switch to the lamp, cutting out the lights. Settling into the covers, you soon drift off, the sounds of the air conditioning lulling you to sleep.
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The alarm pierces through your turbulent dreams, a distorted chaos of faces and scenery from your hometown, swirling into a tornado of unease and remorse. Jolted awake by the blare, you reach for and toggle the button on the side of your phone to snooze the sound for another ten minutes. Sinking into the sheets again, you blink the sleep away, and when that doesn’t work, you rub your eyes until your vision spots.
Staring at the ceiling, you take deep breaths to steady the beat of your heart, swallowing down the anxiety that threatens to spill out. Removing the sheets from your body, you get out of bed and prepare for the next half of the trip. Pulling on the clothes you had brought in the night before, you gather your belongings and head to the lobby to check out.
You head out to the parking lot and pack your luggage into your car, settling into the driver’s seat. ‘6 AM, doing good on time. Could be in Claremont by 9 PM.’ You had picked a place to rent outside of LA, knowing it would be cheaper and less hectic. Though, even the prices for a two bedroom, one bath apartment in Claremont, almost an hour away from the bustle of the large city, had your eyes almost popping out of your head. Fortunately for you, your salary increase at this new job would be more than enough to pay for rent while having excess left.
Disregarding the additional messages you’ve received from others, you text your coworker to update him on your current status and the estimated time you’ll arrive in the city, before leaving the hotel’s grounds and continuing on, toward your new beginning and hopefully brighter days.
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Tags: @caramlizedtomatoes, @dwkfan, @emilzke, @neondogs, @roseglazedlens, @xxacademy
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ksjade · 2 years
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Recognizing Miseducation 
When Lauryn Hill’s solo album ‘The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill’ was released just saying it was a good album was an extreme understatement. It helped change and inspire the next wave of hip-hop, R&B, and soul. To this day, you can play any song and not feel the need to skip. Although recently Lauryn herself is surround by an array of controversy it’s undeniable that her solo album is a beautiful thing to experience. 
‘Miseducation’ is still acclaimed for its rap and R&B mixture. Currently, this is not anything new but not many people know that Lauryn’s solo album is one of the strongest movements to make that happen. The Michigan Daily says, “Drake, who in 2012 called himself “the first person to successfully rap and sing,” was borrowing from one of the unsung pioneers of the hip-hop genre.” In The Dead End Hip Hop it’s discussed how some don’t even consider the album a hip-hop one, however, they can still admit it has managed to make an impact on the community. This is evident with articles counting down artists like Drake, Kanye, J. Cole, and many more sampling not just Lauryn’s solo album but other works too. And, further discussed in The Michigan Daily, its clear to see that things like mixing of styles (jazz, soul, etc.) with hip-hop and the spoken-word style of rap was developed in this album. 
Beyond the impact  ‘The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill’ had on the hip—hop genre, the album feels like something that teaches us about love, wisdom, and experience. More specifically women’s experience with love and losing oneself in the music industry. The most obvious pieces of evidence to that is the audios in classroom with students discussing the meaning of love and how it’s experienced. In this setting, Lauryn in conveniently missing and it’s telling to hear that a lot of the most insightful thoughts on love come from the young women in the classroom. 
Love and heartbreak is not a new or amazing thing people sing about but what makes this album stand out is how it displays Lauryn’s intimate experience with toxic, young, dumb love. In songs like ‘Ex-Factor’ and  ‘Doo Wop (That Thing)’ it’s easiest to see how she was so trapped by her love that although it was toxic she still went back despite the pain and false hope. Other songs describe her healing process, sadness, and gaining of knowledge like in ‘Nothing Even Matters’ and ‘I Used to Love Him.’ Although most songs are about her lost love the song ‘To Zion’ is about Lauryn choosing love for her child and ignoring her mind. Despite the struggles, despite her growing her career, she chose her heart. These messages are important to the many women that go through a similar experience with toxic love and unplanned pregnancies.
Many other songs like “Forgive Them Father,’ ‘Final Hour,’ ‘Lost Ones,’ and ‘Superstar’ talk about gaining wisdom through experience. In some capacity, these songs explain how she has learned regardless of the amount of money or power one may have what matters most is the wisdom you should gain and  the people you love. 
What allowed this album to be so great in what it does is the intent Lauryn had behind making it. In her interview she discusses in length on how although she used to make music just to listen to she feels its now her duty to create that something that inspires others and she doesn’t feel right creating anything less. This narrative is obvious in the song ‘Superstar.’ Lauryn also discusses her idea with what miseducation really means. She used that word to not describe her academic miseducation but to describe her younger way of understanding the world and love. In the same interview and with the RollingStone she further describes that this album was not meant to prove much of anything but instead creating something she wanted to put in the world that was unique and inspiring. 
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“That wasn’t the meaning behind it. It was really sort of a catch and me learning that, you know, when I thought I was my most wise, really not wise at all. And then my humility, you know, and in those places that people wouldn’t expect a lesson to come from. That’s where I learned so much.” -Lauryn Hill 
In recent time, a lot of controversy has been surrounding Lauryn and her ‘Miseducation.’ Allegations of stealing work. Best seen in Dead End Hip-Hop’s discussion on Robert Glasper’s interview and the interview itself. The claims on Lauryn are important to discuss but as the men in Dead End Hip-hop maintain it’s more about a moral issue on the artists part and separating the art from the artist. For many, this controversy doesn’t change the impact or integrity of the album because at the end of the day it’s an amazing piece of work with amazing vocals. And although this revaluation doesn’t tarnish the album it’s more of a stain on Lauryn as a person, simply because this solo album has, in a sense, gone beyond Lauryn herself. 
Overall, ‘The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill’ isn’t recognized enough for its hand in the evolution of hip-hop. What this album teaches about wisdom and growth is just as important as what it displays musically. We should all reevaluate our own misunderstandings on life and create things that inspire ourselves and others.
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starlitmemoriam · 1 year
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Have you tweaked the character from canon? If so, what did you tweak? TELL ME ABOUT ISIS
Canon Questionnaire
We're getting lengthy in here so enjoy my rant under the cut.
Okay WELLLL how do I put this gently.
Yu-Gi-Oh does a lot of showing and not telling but the characterization for non-main characters is so all over the place or non-existent that we don't get shown a lot of the reasoning behind their behavior.
Isis, in canon, is a kind, wise, and compassionate woman who has strong maternal instincts and is a firm believer in destiny. We don't get told or shown much outside of that. We see only the sides that she wants us to see. Her role is minimal; a plot point to pull the readers along and help show why Malik is a redeemable character despite everything he's said and done to the protagonists.
Now, we do see an inkling of why she is this way. She bore witness to Yami Malik murdering their father. She was the one who indirectly caused this in the first place by letting Malik see the outside, despite it being a cardinal sin within the Ishtar clan. And you want me to believe this didn't affect her in any way?
I wanted a more realistic Isis Ishtar. An Isis Ishtar who has to feel and deal with the ramifications of her actions every day. An Isis Ishtar who tries to be the glue that holds them together. An Isis Ishtar who is working to fix her past mistakes and patch her strained relationship with her family, especially Malik. He's her baby brother; she was supposed to protect him and she couldn't even do that. Was that what destiny had intended? To be the catalyst of Malik destroying himself in a fruitless effort to purge the pharaoh for something he was never a part of? No. Destiny be damned; she will be the one to save Malik. And she manipulated Seto to do it.
If she just wanted him to have that card, she could've just mailed it. But no, she needed make this personal. Plant a seed in him that is too tempting to refuse. She knew Seto would want any opportunity to win back a paltry title from the pharaoh; the tauk told her that. Wherever the pharaoh is, Malik is sure to follow. And that was her prime target. She wasn't expecting to lose to Seto, sure, but in the grand scheme of things, that didn't matter. What mattered was saving her baby brother from himself. He fulfilled his part of her plan; what came after was of no concern.
Like are we gonna ignore that Isis Ishtar is a master manipulator without needing an item? Like they're both good at using others to get what they want; Isis is just more subtle about it. Did she feel bad? Sure. But it was a necessity to protect the only thing that matters: her family.
Also like consider: you think that because Isis Ishtar spent so much time orchestrating this entire thing, from building her career up, FROM SCRATCH, to become Secretary General of the Egyptian Supreme Council of Antiquities to organizing the exhibit at Domino Museum for the explicit purpose of manipulating Seto into setting up Battle City that it kinda spiraled into control issues just like Malik but for wildly different reasons. Just A Thought.
tl;dr: realistic isis who feels the consequences of her actions and still struggles to rebuild her family and probably has some control issues (also sorry seto lol) > cardboard cutout isis
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Title: Selfish {1}
Yahya Abdul Mateen II x Reader AU
Warning: Angst, Flashbacks, Fluff, Plot, Backstory,
Words: 4.5k
Summary: You and Yahya had a 4-year relationship not too long ago. The love was strong, and the forecast was happily ever after, but cloudy skies bring thunderstorms and your relationship ended. Neither of you really ever got over the other, no matter how hard you tried. Two years later, you’re back in your hometown for work when you get the shock of your life by coming face to face with none other than your ex-fiancée, Yahya who is getting married but not to you. 
Note: This two shot is inspired by “Selfish” by Rihanna & Dirt Bag F**ure and “What If” by Babyface
Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoy this!!!
If you enjoyed what you read, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG❤️
***NOT Edited/Proofread***
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-Three Years Ago-
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Joy. That was the only word you could think to describe the way you felt and had felt for the last three and a half years. Absolute and unequivocal joy. Everything was the way it should be. Your career was on track, you were months away from making senior partner in your firm which was a huge deal not only career-wise but also financially. Your skin was glowing, body on point just the way you wanted it, mental health was stable, and your personal life was sublime.
 It really was true that when one thing aligned the rest fell into place. It all began with Yahya. From almost the day he walked into your life he turned it upside down. He knocked everything out of order and created chaos for a good month. Your stubbornness and fight-or-flight instincts were mainly to blame. When he showed you that you could trust in him, you put more effort into fighting the flight.
 Smooth sailing quickly came. It was like the two of you were two sides of a coin, yin, and yang, complimenting directions on a compass, but completely combustible elements that burned fast, hot, and bright. It was a burn that quickly enveloped you both and kept you in the most intense rapturous state. Your passion for one another was so powerful that no matter where you were everyone and everything ceased to exist. Your hands were always all over each other, tongue down each other’s throats and bodies always connected. There was just no other way.
 Your passion for each other was unmatched, but so was your volatility. You argued just as wildly as you fucked. It didn’t happen often but when it did it was like a nuclear bomb went off and you both screamed, shouted then ignored each other. Neither of you made it past a few hours but you were both stubborn and hated to be the first to give in.
 “I’m gonna make you my wife one day.”
 You smiled and turned your body to his from your laying position between his legs. You couldn’t see his eyes from behind his dark-tinted sunglasses, but you knew they were on you.
“Oh yeah?”
 Yahya nodded and licked those sinful lips of his. God, the man was walking temptation if the God of temptation was ever personified.
 “Feel like telling me when one day is?”
 Yahya chuckled, cocking his head back giving you a view of his weak spot. You pushed up onto your hands and kissed his throat and trailed your tongue along his jugular vein, tasting the salt still on his skin from the ocean, until you reached his earlobe. Your teeth grazed the skin there before you dipped down to where his neck and shoulder met. As you sucked his skin into your mouth his moan was guttural. Yahya’s large hands at the small of your back dipped lower to cup your ass pulling a moan of sheer need from you.
 “Better be careful girl. I have no problem breaking your back like a glow stick right here on this beach. Ion’t care who’s around.”
 You snorted and laughed in his neck. You knew he wasn’t lying.
 “Whatever.”
 As if to prove his points, Yahya grabbed you, pulled you until you were straddling him. Once on top, you felt the beginning hardening of his erection. That quickly wiped the smile off your face.
 “Yahya,” you mewled before his lips swallowed any further words. He controlled the kiss from the beginning sucking your bottom lip, nibbling your top, and swirling his tongue around yours until he was sucking it. The man could kiss, and he knew it.
 As you were getting into the kiss, Yahya pulled away trailing kisses along your cheek to behind your ear. You released a breathy sigh and bucked your hips forward, completely forgetting where the two of you were.
 “Soon,” Yahya whispered in the sexiest and huskiest voice that gave you such a hot and cold chill your body didn’t know how to respond. It shivered but the hottest burst of heat rushed through you at the same time. He then sloppily kissed your shoulder. “What will your answer be?”
 Face to face, you lowered his sunglasses and peered deeply into Yahya’s orbs that were reminiscent of amber, with a hint of molten lava deep within them. God, you loved his eyes.
 “I do,” you whispered. As you spoke the words you actually felt your heart swell. You wanted this future he was hinting at. You wanted it badly.
 Yahya smiled in a way that had you feeling not only his excitement but every bit of his love and joy. You said a silent prayer that you saw the day he was before you on bended knee.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~ 
-Present Day-
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“Can I count on you for this, Y/N?”
 You looked across the conference table to Connor, the President of the firm. His green eyes inquisitively stared at you, waiting for you to reply. Glancing at the screen of your tablet once more, you skimmed the details that had been ironed out while you were halfheartedly listening.
 “If not I can give it to Brian if you’re worried you can’t close. It should be an easy two-day thing,” Connor pressed further.
 It wasn’t that you didn’t think you could close the litigation. It was where the litigation was taking place that had you paused. You hadn’t been back there in a long time—a really long time.
 “Y/N?”
 “Yes,” you blurted out, pressing ignore on the red flashing warning sign going off in your head. “I got this, Connor,” you finished giving him a reassuring smile.
 “All right, that’s what I like to hear from my Senior Partner,” Connor chided with a wide smile on his face. “That’s why you get the biggest bucks.”
 You leaned to your assistant and whispered instructions for her to get done before the close of business then listened to the remainder of the meeting. You didn’t process any of it though. Your head was in the past. A past you may very well have to face sooner than you’d ever planned to.
  -Two Years Ago-
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Yahya’s smile was so huge. You loved his smile. It was almost as bright as the twinkling tree lights that were all around you. He looked perfect among them in his three-piece suit. The excitement within you bubbled because though you hadn’t expected this tonight it wasn’t unwelcomed. You couldn’t stop yourself from bouncing.
 “Excited?”
 You clamped your hand over your mouth and nodded. Yahya smiled again then bounced with you for a few seconds before blowing out a rush of air.
 “Wheew!”
 “Nervous?”
 “Damn right I am. Lord have mercy.”
“Aww. Babe, don’t you know my answer?” You softly grazed his jaw rubbing your thumb across his bottom lip.
 Instead of answering, Yahya gazed into your eyes in a way you were familiar with. Whenever he did it, your belly always did flips, and you always felt so cherished.
 “I love you.”
 “I love you too,” you replied feeling tears prick your eyes.
 Yahaya took another deep breath and dropped down to one knee while holding your hands as if he was afraid you’ll float away like an illusion. That was when those tears decided to make an appearance. You bit into your bottom lip hoping to keep it from trembling.
 “Wow, Y/N. I’ve imagined this moment so many times over the last four and a half years. from the day I met you I knew you were special and from the first time we went out with your friends and you shut down ol’ dude who thought he was spittin’ game with your slick mouth I knew you were the woman I wanted to spend all my time with when we went to Skate Key and you showed off those tricky skate moves of yours to the best oldies playlist. I knew you were the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with that night you came over to my place a two in the morning to take care of me and nurse me back to health without a shower, a meal, or any sleep. You have no idea how much that meant to me. You mean everything to me.”
 You were full-on ugly crying while trying to keep it cute and you knew you weren’t cutting it. You kept your hands in his not caring about the possible snot that was dripping from your nose of the rivers running down your cheeks.
 “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, talking with you, laughing with you, teasing you about how you don’t put turkey necks in your collard greens, laughing because I know you’re home by the sound of crunching ice from the hallway. I want to spend my life holding your hands as I am now, holding you every night as you fall asleep. I want you to be the mother of Yah Jr, and Yaya.”
 You snorted and rolled your eyes. The man was still stuck on these names for your future kids. Seeing how amazing this proposal was going you were thinking of completely giving in.
 “You are the love of my life. You are my home. Will you spend the rest of your life with me? Will you marry me?”
 That was your que, but no words came out. The rapid beating of your heart made everything seem as if it were going in slow motion. You were convinced he could hear it.
 “Babygirl don’t leave me hangin’.”
 You smiled. He was so adorable when he was nervous. The fact that he was nervous only melted your heart more. He really thought you would say anything but yes. Adorable fool, you thought before you crashed into his arms, taking him to the ground while wrapping your arms around his neck.
 “Yes, yes, yes! Four and a half years of yes and yes for the rest of your life. Yes!”
 “Yes?”
 “Yes! Of course!”
 The elation on his face was like the eruption of a volcano, sudden and intense. Yahya wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tightly as the two of you giggled together like complete idiots. You both got lost in your joy for a few minutes not caring that you rolled along the tar surface of the rooftop you were on.
 “Wait, wait, wait,” Yahya began bringing you upright to straddle him. He then dug in his pocket and revealed a red leather ring box that he quickly opened to show the breathtaking diamond engagement ring.
 “Say it again,” Yahya softly demanded.
 You gripped his face with both your hands keeping his head there ensuring he was looking into your eyes.
 “Yes. I will spend the rest of your life with you. Yes, I will marry you,” you answered.
 A stray tear slipped from the corner of his eye, and you knew without a shadow of a doubt you were making the right choice. Yahya slipped the rock on your finger and the two of you screamed out just before an intense make-out session began.
 ~~~~~~~~~~
 -Present Day-
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Your fingers twirled the six-carat diamond ring that you’d taken off of your finger a year ago. The etiquette was to return the ring, but you couldn’t bring yourself to part with it. It was a gorgeous ring, but the reason why was because of all that it meant. This one rose gold ring held four and a half years of love, trust, growth, pining, and devotion in it. It held hopes, dreams, plans, wishes, and desires. If you gave it back you felt it was like throwing it all away.
 Without even realizing it a tear rolled down your cheek. Sniffling you quickly wiped it away then lifted the crystal tumbler on the table to your lips and finished its contents. The burn was welcomed because it distracted you from your thoughts and the pain that still lingered in your heart. Leaning back in the first-class seat you stared out the window and sighed.
 “Get a grip, Y/N.”
 Another tear rolled, completely ignoring your command. An exasperated sigh left you and you said a silent prayer to get through the next two days as you closed your eyes and listened to all the voices echoing in your head that said this was not going to be as cut and dry as Connor expected.
 When you landed, you claimed your luggage then found your hired driver. As he drove you through town all memories came rushing back. New Orleans. Your old stomping grounds. The place where you were born, mostly raised, went to school, formed close friendships, and bonds, fell in love, got your heart broken, lost your virginity, and agreed to spend your life with the man of your dreams. Coincidentally it was also the place your future plans were set on fire. The place that held the most pain for you.
 You passed a billboard that advertised the French Quarter and that was all it took for you to think back to the night you were proposed to on that rooftop in the middle of the quarter. Afterward, Yahya had somehow arranged for a mini-Mardi Gras parade to congratulate you and you walked around a few blocks of the quarter with the quartet following you while both of you wore tens of white beads. A sentimental smile quirked your lips upward. It was a good night.
 Ten minutes later you passed a streetcar and thought back to your private ride on one that was also decked out in sparkling lights with cans tied to the back making a ruckus throughout the street. Everyone you passed cheered and shouted their congratulations and well wishes. The night held so much promise for a beautiful life. It was just not meant to be, no matter how badly you’d wanted it to be.
 The sound of your phone ringing brought you out of your head. It was Steph’s name that showed.
 “Hey, Steph.”
 “Hey girl. Did you land?”
 “Yep. I did and I’m—here,” you said on a sigh.
 “You sound real happy and excited about that.”
 The sarcasm in her voice was not missed. “Oh yeah, real excited.”
 Steph sighed long and loud. “It’s just two days. In and out. Plus I doubt he’s there anyway. Last I heard from Tommi who heard it from Angela that he’s been busy and spending a lot of time in France and Italy. He got a huge fancy promotion and is the big dick over there.”
 Your heart sped. You’d purposely avoided hearing any news about him the last two years because you didn’t think you were strong enough to hear it. This bit of news both proved and disproved it. you didn’t feel like you were falling apart, or that you couldn’t breathe, or that you wanted to run to find him. you were holding tough.
 “Sorry, Y/N,” Steph muttered.
 “It’s fine. Honestly, I’m fine. I don’t know why I avoided talking about him. I’m good,” you hammered.
 “I know you’re good. Sometimes I worry you’re too good. You’ve been on go the last two years never stopping for a break or a sick day and you’ve pushed yourself way too much.”
 “Well, that push got me to be senior partner. I now make boo koo money and that penthouse in the sky the Jeffersons sang about is mine,” you boasted.
 You hadn’t worked like a zombie the last two years for the money, the position, the substantial bump in status, or the fancy penthouse with heated floors and walls. You’d worked like the undead to avoid thinking about your past, your decisions, and the man who still held a very huge chunk of your heart.
 “Yeah cause that’s what keeps you warm at night,” Steph dryly said. It hit home.
 “Maybe you could make time to see some of the old crew while you’re there. I’m sure they’d love to see you. it’s been years.”
 “Nah, I’ll be busy. You had it right, in and out,” you reiterated.
 You heard Steph’s annoyed sigh but ignored it focusing on the car rolling to a stop outside the hotel.
 “We’re here ma’am.”
 You nodded, gathered your things then stepped out of the car. When the driver rolled your luggage to you, you thanked him then turned to walk inside but instead, you bumped smack into someone.
 “Damn, I’m sorry.”
 “It’s all good. No harm done,” a deep voice responded.
 Looking up, your heart stopped.
 “Wait…Y/N?”
 “Fuck,” you whispered under your breath. You’d been recognized.
 “Hi—Dante. Hi.”
 “You remember my name. Wow. How are you?”
 “Good. I’m really good.”
 “How long has it been? Two years?”
 He’d asked like he really didn’t know the answer. He knew. Fighting your eye roll you kept your plastered smile on.
 “Just about.”
 “Wow, you look good,” Dante chattered on.
 “Thank you. So do you?”
 “Wow, this is great. Are you here for the wedding?”
 Confusion hit you and a shrug was your response.
 “No, but I gotta go. I have a lot of work to do. It was nice seeing you, Dante.”
 You hurried away and inside the hotel toward the front desk dodging bodies. It looked like a full house.
 “Hi welcome to Omni Royal Orleans, where we strive for your happiness, satisfaction, and joy all in one. My name is Horatio, how can I help you?”
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“Checking in please.”
 “Okay, your name and ID please.”
 You followed check-in procedures while looking at the décor of the lobby while finishing your talk with Steph. Your assistant really decided to splurge on the company dollar. The vibes the lobby was giving was southern charm and luxury all in one. After a few minutes, you had your room key card in hand while maneuvering to the elevator bank with your phone still to your ear.
 “You have to send me pictures of the company dime room.”
 “You know I will,” you said as you pressed the call button repeatedly. You were dying for a hot bath and a meal of what New Orleans did best. The beep on told you that you had another call coming in. When you glanced at the screen you sighed.
 “Steph I’ll call you back.”
 “Cool.”
 Ending the call, you picked up the other. “Hello?
 “Sister dearest. I hear you’re in NOLA.”
 “Who told you that?”
 “A little birdie.”
 “Well, I hope that little birdie sits on a power post and gets fried to a crisp and turns into a gator dinner.”
 “Wow, wow, wow, very violent.”
 “You know me,” you said in a honeyed sing-song voice as you pressed the call button again, your annoyance raising another notch.
 “Since you’re home and all, do you plan on seeing you know who?”
 You rolled your eyes at Lindy’s question. She sure wasted no time.
 It was then the elevator doors to the far right opened up and you rushed to claim it as yours. Judging your phone in the crook of your neck, your luggage in one hand and your carry-on latched on your arm you focused on hurrying onto the elevator. Once inside, you pressed your floor then replied to Lindy.
 “No.”
 “Just no? Why not? It’s two years overdue don’t you think?”
 “Lindy I can’t. Like—it’s been so long—too long. So much has happened, we’re both different people. Who’s to say that what happened back then even matters now?”
 “You wouldn’t know unless you talk.”
 “He’s not even in town. I hear he’s some rich big dick boss in Europe. So seeing each other won’t happen.”
 “I still think you should call. I can get his number for you?”
 “No. What would I even say? What would be the point?”
 “Y/N, come on it’ll come to you. Plus, you and I both know he was the one and any of us would be lucky to find our soulmate in this lifetime. You actually found yours,” Lindy counseled.
 Your heart broke. “Soulmates.”
 The word tasted bittersweet on your tongue, like pure dark chocolate. It was bittersweet.
 “We were young, dumb, and horny. None of that makes for a soulmate,” you countered.
 “Still trying to talk yourself out of it after two years? Doing that doesn’t make him not your soulmate. It just makes you scared to go after what you want and finally be selfish enough to take it and hold on to it.”
 You closed your eyes. Lindy was dropping all the classic older sister nuggets of advice.
 “He made his choice Lindy—and I wasn’t it.”
 “He made his choice, you were it, but you made the other choice for him.”
 You groaned. That was a piece of the past you tucked so deep you couldn’t dig it up. You only dared to on profusely drunken nights.
 “I’m too sober to think about this Lindy.”
 Silence stretched in the elevator and from behind you, you heard someone clear their throat. You paused as your panic rose and embarrassment began to creep in. How hadn’t you noticed you weren’t alone in the elevator when you got on? Your eyes finally registered the two numbers lit up on the dial, symbolizing two different floors.
 “Oh no,” you whispered still afraid to turn around.
 “Uh, hello! I’m talking to you!”
 Her voice was loud, rude, and obnoxious. Your apologetic mood was quickly fading, spinning around you were ready to pop off at the mouth because rudeness wasn’t necessary. When you turned coming face to face with the woman your eyes barely registered her before they darted to the man beside her. Yahya.
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Your heart stopped, and your legs turned to jelly. Staggering backward you collided with the wall of the elevator, but your legs still weren’t satisfied. Feeling yourself begin to slide down, you tried your best to prevent it. The man in the elevator lurched forward with his arms out as if he intended to catch you. However, it was not to be, the rude woman slapped his hands.
 “Don’t you dare touch her!”
 Her voice was nasally and piercing almost shrill and completely nerve grating. Yahya looked conflicted between listening to the woman and following through on what he’d planned to do. Pulling yourself together, you pulled yourself up keeping your back pressed to the wall.
 “As I said. You shouldn’t be in here. This elevator is quarantined off for a reason. It’s not for others to use.”
 “Vanessa,” Yahya snapped.
 “What! She should have read the signs.”
 Before anyone else spoke, you spoke up.
 “I’m—I’m sorry. I uh—I didn’t mean to—I should have--.” You sighed, shook your head then continued. “Sorry.”
 The elevator door opened, and you sprang out on wobbly legs not even caring what floor you were on. You were so shocked, mortified, and angry that you couldn’t think straight. Countless minutes passed with you learned on the nearest wall panting while your brain rehashed the only important fact of that encounter.
 “That was Yah,” you breathlessly croaked out, the realization finally sinking in.
 A burst of energy and strength rushed through you making you able to push off of the wall to spin to the closed elevator doors. Yahya was here, in NOLA, and in this hotel, you internally drilled. It had been so long since you’d seen him, so long since you’d been that close to him. as soon as that burst of energy came it went. You stumbled backward and grabbed the handle of your rolling luggage to steady yourself. This was not what you’d expected this weekend and you were completely unprepared.
 Rather than getting back on an elevator, you took the stairs. Yeah, it was more of a struggle with your bags, but you’d choose this over another accidental meeting. You’d thought for years how you’d meet again after all this time. You’d thought if you wanted to or even should. Part of you wished it never happened but the other part actually looked for his face in a crowd all the time. You’d convinced yourself it was an unconscious thing.
 By the time you made it to your suite, you were a wreck pretending you weren’t. You wished you could raid the minibar but you didn’t have the time. Your first sit down with your client was in less than an hour. Pushing everything else to the side you forced yourself to become the professional you’d strived so hard to become.
 After a shower, new clothes, and fresh make up you gathered the needed file and walked out of your room with your head held high and back straight. As you waited for the elevator you scanned your emails and did some last-minute preparations for the meeting. It was a pretty straightforward arbitration meeting.
 Party A served party B with divorce papers claiming irreconcilable differences not knowing that Party B had hired a fancy and expensive investigator who’d found evidence of infidelity that stretched to two mistresses and two separate households. All of which left party A wide open for not only retribution but the wrath of party B. That wrath manifested in party B seeking half of everything under the sun. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
 You represented party B, the wife matter of fact you only ever represented the wives and you were a savage beast when it came to it. In every case, you’d walked away with more than was being asked. You went after what the wives deserved. Maybe you did it as a way to avenge yourself after your breakup with Yahya.
 The ride to the lobby was quick and when you stepped out the lobby was still bustling with guests and staff.
 “Excuse me, can you tell me where conference room four is please?
 The bellhop gave you instructions pointing out the route over heads and around bodies, assuring you that you couldn’t miss it. With more than enough time before the meeting, you weren’t worried about being late. A passing guest bumped into you sending you staggering sideways a little into a banner that was standing.
 “I’m so sorry darlin’,” a man who looked like Colonel Sanders said in a deep southern drawl.
 “It’s okay. I’m fine.”
 He nodded then walked off. You took a breath and quickly glanced to your right at the banner there before continuing on your way. After a few steps, you froze. While the lobby was noisy with the sound of chattering, crying babies, and classical music from the sound system you didn’t hear any of it. All you heard was the pounding of your heart.
 “What?”
 You backtracked and came face to face with the banner again. Slowly you read the words then faster again and again.
 “No.”
 You couldn’t believe your eyes.
 “The wedding of Yahya Abdul Mateen II and Vanessa Crosby.”
 Underneath the words was a couple’s picture of Yahya and the woman who was in the elevator with him.
 “What—the—fuck?”
  {To Be Continued}
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note: Not sure who everyone is for Yahya fics so just added a few from my “Arranged” tag list.
TagList:
@caramara3 @caplover22​ @winchwm​ @chrisgalore @thatrandomhetaliachick @missdeerstalker15 @queenbetter @jesseswartzwelder @briellableu @titty-teetee  @zaddysqueen7 @melaninhawtie  @simplyyamberr @airis-paris14 @ashanti-notthesinger @afraiddreamingandloving @ajspencer1892 @wakanda-inspired @chillavesss @drsunshine97 @cleothegoldfish @builtalongthewayside @theunsweetenedtruth @geeksareunique @aykanna @hanasamara @profilia @ollieveracity @autumn242 @missyperle @sup3rn0va13 @chaneajoyyy @forbeautyandlife @kreolemami @designerwriterchic @laketaj24 @anonymousmadame2911 @trillistb @purplehairgawdess @write-fromthe-start @essaysbyciara @wakandalivesforever @yourwonderbelle @minton131 @wellthirsted @alyxkbrl
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neptune-midheaven · 4 years
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ASTRO NOTES 🪐 🧿✨🌌
*THERE !!!!!! IS !!!!!! NO !!!!!! BAD !!!!!!!PLACEMENT !!!!!!! IN !!!!!!! ASTROLOGY !!!!!!!PLEASE STOP FEAR-MONGERING THESE POOR NEWCOMERS PLEASEEE !!!!!!!! CHALLENGING never equals BAD !!!!!! If you’re a true student of astrology this would be a well know FACT to you.
*Saturn and Capricorn placements are the areas you will slowlyyy become wise in, having developed compete mastery over that area with TIME.
*You usually get compared with other people who share your rising sign.
*Most scorpios/scorpio risings have dark complexions, they even could have almost a permanent shadow cast over their faces, they may struggle to find perfect lighting.
*Virgo in 6th house are hypochondriacs and are paranoid/worry a lot about their health. They’re very nit-picky about their “symptoms”, they’re the types of people to know what they’re coming down with when they’re already at a doctor appt., they may as well even EDUCATE THE DAMN DOCTOR LIKE GO AHEAD MRS PHDD.
*Chiron conjunct midheaven is the ultimate healer placement, other chiron placements, chiron in first/aspecting the ascendant, following behind, these people are true healers whether they realize it or not, they’re born to assist and heal the general public. The midheaven, the highest point of the sky representing our reputation and career, what we’re known for. These people generate a reputation for their “healing abilities”, they’re quite literally known as the wounded healer (depending on if Chiron is positively aspected in the chart, this will affect the flavor of their reputation), they will experience pain related to work or matters related to the reputation, their status and authority could be wounded, they can later use their pain to help and heal others. Challenges will be met at work if Chiron is afflicted. This placement also means one will have their pain and wounds projected to the public, the whole world knows your pain.
*Mars in twelfth need to express their energy, their anger and will through the activities of whatever sign mars is located in the chart i.e. mars in aries in the twelfth need to express suppressed anger/anger through physical activity, sports, working out, sex, pisces mars by unleashing their massive creativity, compassion, dreams (this sign, and house combo especially, has many dreams, it’s a sleepy placement for the ideal fiery and straightforward mars to be located in). Mars in twelfth is generally a good placement that could manifest in someone being a dancer or athlete, mainly finding escape through any type of physical activity for fire signs, work for earth, socializing for air and creativity for water. This placement has very gentle, enchanting watery movements if they get into any sports or physical activity.
*Mars in eleventh can be aggressive toward their friends esp if mars is in a fire sign it becomes no joke. Don’t get me wrong, they’re the best humanitarians and what not but they have a reputation of being the “angry” or “aggressive” friend out of most of their friend groups, they’re very competitive and energetic people. However the way they stick up causes, they way they are always seen supporting any humanitarian cause with their whole hearts is AMAZINGG. They’re the types of activists to stay late to a protest, they’re the types to seemingly never leave what they’re standing up for, what they’re supporting because they are SOOO AMBITIOUS AND YEAHH !!
*This isn’t talked about a lot but uranus in eleventh have to be the most comforting and “welcoming” presence out of every eleventh house placement in astrology, with uranus in its home, the house of aquarius, it erases any filter put on what friend is attracted by their social presence as EVERYONE is attracted to them, from any possible and imaginable background or culture and homeland, anyone can trust and confide in their wide openness as their care and concern for society is completely genuine. They are truly the biggest and truest humanitarians, the universal humanitarian that will lead us to the monumental revolution of history and bring humanity to a collective whole.
*Pisces moon, people lovee you. People want to come up and talk with you just because of how interesting and intriguing you are. You OOZE this aura of compelling mystery similarly to scorpio moon. Your innocent playfulness is undeniably charming and you are definitely the life of the party, people want to pay attention to you!!
*Saturn in 11th, you are not an outcast, you are not too strange. You’re fine for just who you are, your individuality is a struggle for you, saturn is restricting you from liberating yourself and merging with society, you can selective or strict with friendships. You teach others to have boundaries and to never trust others too easily, you select social causes with caution. There is never anything wrong with this !! You choose what you support for YOU and NO ONE ELSE. You choose who you wanna become friends with it’s because they have passed the true rigorous test of friendship. When you become friends with someone, you already know you can trust them deeply, your caution is quite admirable !!
*Mercury in 12th is an extremely beautiful placement. The native grows shy of their flawless minds, little do they know they are connecting with the watery depths of the astral and psychic realms of the twelfth, the vagueness of their cloudy thoughts winds them up in wispy sheets of intellectual confusion. Your mind is communicating the brilliant and unbelievable parts of what seems like a dream. You are not too confusing or vague for others to understand your ideas, people await what emerges from this shiny and imaginable abyss of a sleepy mind.
*Mercury in 8th have an intellectual superiority complex of sorts, they analyze a piece of information or thing by tearing through the surface until they find the deepest depths of the truth, they believe this will never compare to other placements as they have dug far deeper into something. Be careful to not assume that someone doesn’t know something you don’t, while it still can’t be true. You always want to know someone, don’t be too controlling about it because you could cause conflicts which you didn’t mean to in the first place. If you know your boundaries and limits and of others’, then you should be fine. This placement is brilliant for investigators, someone who could examine, analyze and evaluate to find the answer others can’t see. They harbor a psychic mind, a plutonic one who knows the weight words can have on people. Fantastically persuasive speakers !!
*Gemini in 3rd, gem mercury have unstable minds, they’re very much prone to babbling, but can easily start up a conversation because they never run out things to say so they’re pretty social and friendly.
*Capricorn moon is an amazing moon sign placement, here the moon is in detriment as the saturn ruled cappy doesn’t get along with the soft, nurturing moon, it’s always gotta work work work, limit, restrict !! There’s never anything wrong with the moon here, just because the moon and saturn can’t get along, just because they contradict each other’s completely different functions never means it’s a terrible moon sign. It just manifests in a completely unique way outside of the traditional service and role of the moon, similarly to let’s say sag mercury as it’s also in detriment, they both manifest creatively to make something new out of the planet’s sign. Back to cappy moon, this moon has the capacity to work as they find fulfillment in getting things done, serving others, but negatively restriction and criticizing. With saturn ruling capricorn here your emotions and wellbeing become restricted and limited, you have felt as if no one understands you, you believe something is wrong with you. Like no one in the world supports you emotionally. But this is NEVERRR true, people love you for how caring, attentive and even funny you are !! You care soo much about others you forget to care for yourself, SOME of you even begin to think it’s normal to ignore what your own needs, nooo you need to STOP THISSS . You deserve to feel great about what you do, your accomplishments, how you care for others, EVERYTHING, and most importantly believe, trulyy believe that nothing’s ever wrong with you !! You’re unbelievably charismatic and overall just.... WONDERFULLL. Ily guys smm you’re amazingly stronggg souls !!!
*Moon in 12th house is an EXTREMELY sensitive placement, these people are little babies on the inside (ilyy guyss you all have my heartt <33). They often felt neglected, not nurtured as a kid which creates their extreme sensitivity to their current surroundings and environment. Their shy moon is always hiding behind the mystical and otherworldly curtains of the 12th because of their sensitive upbringing or personality, it’s takes some time for the little guy to come out. The moon here needs SPACCEEEE. A person who’s a walking sponge with fragile emotions, they’re our emotional and energetic vacuum cleaners of the world, they are helping the world without ever realizing it !!
*Pisces risings are known for being hard to characterize for their ability to naturally adapt to their environment. You can tell if someone has this if they absorb their environment like a sponge, then, react to this energy, you can easily see this energy morphing. It becomes noticeable if there’s a lot going on. Another clue is having trouble defining them based on their first impression, like they could be anything you project onto them, very mysterious and dreamy individuals when you meet them.
*Your midheaven/10th house is what you look up to be or what traits you wish to embody, ex: aries MC, confidence, passion, courageousness, being a leader, etc. Moon in 10th, being a therapist, helping the less fortunate, medical professions.
*Libra risings usually have amazing skin, just like virgo risings, to contrast, I’ve seen most of them marked with freckles. They have very symmetrical features, perfectly balanced just like a scale. But it appears as if they’re “superficial” once their faces begin to wear into your mind.
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just-come-baek · 3 years
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out to lunch
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Pairing: cooking show chef!xiaojun x personal assistant!reader
Themes: smut
Word count: 2.5k
Summary: You come over to the kitchen set of Xiaojun’s cooking show to tell him you managed to get him what he had always dreamed of. However, once you reveal the big news, you discover his priorities have changed, and right now, the only thing he wants to do is you.
Warnings: dirty talk | fingering | kitchen set sex | unprotected sex | creampie | Xiaojun’s inner diva is showing | 
A/N support WayV lol | writing this for neosmutcollective mini wayv event
Xiaojun was utterly immersed in his world. Though it was already late at night, he was still behind the kitchen counter, chopping ingredients with his favorite knife. Right now, Xiaojun was in his element, oozing precision and determination to perfect his new recipe, and it somewhat felt like a sin to interrupt him.
You had big news to deliver, though. Having heard you out, Xiaojun would surely forgive you for your disruption. He had to. After all, you just managed to get him that cooking book contract he had always dreamed of.
Ever since you two had started working together, it was your goal to make Xiaojun a published author. Though he already owned three restaurants and starred in his own cooking show, Xiaojun was insatiable. The more fame and recognition he got, it was never enough.
You cleared your throat to obtain his attention, but it didn’t quite pull him out of his trance, so you decided to give him an extra minute.
Xiaojun looked incredibly attractive in his own habitat. In his white uniform and ridiculously big chef hat, Xiaojun looked like a whole damn Michelin three-star dish. No wonder he kept beating his viewing records with each new episode. People all across the country swooned over his culinary talent, incredible charisma, and breathtaking looks.
Having approached the kitchen counter, you knocked on the marble surface in hopes of obtaining his attention.
“Earth to Xiaojun,” you softly spoke, looking at his face. Apparently, the timing couldn’t have been worse as Xiaojun dropped his knife on the cutting board and swung it onto the floor, making a huge mess.
“What do you want!? Don’t you see I’m busy!?” Xiaojun barked before he turned around to get a clean set of kitchen utensils. “Get lost. I don’t want to talk to you,” he added, waving his hand at you, trying to chase you out of the kitchen space.
“Ugh, for the love of God, Xiaojun! How many times have we had this conversation? That diva tone doesn’t work on me,” you answered firmly, staring into his eyes, challenging him. His gaze was intense, his jaw was tensed, but you just smiled at him, ignoring his shenanigans altogether. It wasn’t the first time he lashed out at you, and you knew how to handle him.
“Okay, fine. What is it?” Xiaojun huffed, giving in. With his arms folded across his chest, he tapped his foot against the floor, impatiently waiting for the news.
“I got you that book offer. You’re gonna be a published author,” you exclaimed, ready to jump up and down in joy. However, Xiaojun didn’t seem to be particularly excited. “What’s the matter? Isn’t it what you’ve always wanted? I don’t get it,” you spoke, creasing your eyebrow in confusion, trying to read his bizarre expression.
Xiaojun seemed indifferent at best.
“Cancel it. Undo it. I won’t write it,” Xiaojun replied before he proceeded back to his previous task. It wasn’t wise to disturb him now, so you waited until all vegetables were neatly cubed and thrown into a bowl.
“Can you tell me what’s going on? I don’t understand. I thought you’ve always wanted it,” you inquired, trying a much calmer approach. Xiaojun didn’t use his knife now, but he was still holding it, and it wouldn’t be the first time someone earned a cut during a heated argument in the kitchen.
“I have,” Xiaojun replied with a deep sigh as he poured the chicken broth over the vegetables. “But it gets tiring, you know…” he added, as he took off his chef hat and threw it on the countertop, running his hand through his hair. “Everything is happening too fast. I thought I wanted it, but now, when I actually live that life, I realized I am not cut out for this.”
It was heart-breaking to listen to it. You two had been working very hard to get Xiaojun where he is right now, only to come to a conclusion it’s all wrong. Fame was a heavy cross to bear, and Xiaojun was slowly stumbling under its weight.
“Don’t tell me you want to quit,” you whispered, anxious to know the answer. Xiaojun’s eyes were trained on you, and you could see how tired he was. “How about you take it easy from now on instead of quitting it all together? It would be a shame to quit right at the finishing line,” you reasoned, hoping Xiaojun would consider it.
“I don’t know.”
“Let’s talk about it, okay?” you interjected before Xiaojun would impulsively ruin his career. “We’ve got only three more episodes to shoot. I could put you on hiatus until you decide you want to continue with another season. In the meantime, you could work on the cooking book at your own pace. Probably, I will make you record some cooking content on social media to keep you circulating on the web, so people won’t forget you. Except for that, your schedule would be clear to focus on whatever you need to focus on.”
Silence.
Xiaojun was staring at his chef hat, pondering your damn good points. When you put it like that, it was hard to say no. Besides, he had a feeling you would talk back instantly if he found faults in your argumentation.
Seconds passed without Xiaojun’s response. You were his voice of reason; he had to listen to you. Besides, not only was his career on the line. If he actually quitted, your superior would murder you. Xiaojun was the cash cow of the company; they couldn’t afford to lose him. He was at their rising star.
“Why do you always know what to say?” Xiaojun rhetorically asked, and you beamed, ready to grace him with an answer.
“I’m really good at my job,” you pointed out proudly. Thanks to your impeccable management and problem-solving capabilities, you managed to help Xiaojun rise to the top. “And also, I care about you. Sometimes, you’re a pain in the ass, but after all, you’re a good person. You are my friend, and I want you to be happy.”
“Fine, let’s do it your way. But we’re not shooting another season until I say so,” Xiaojun caved, smiling brightly at you. “You know what I really want to do, though?” He challenged as he rested his elbow on the counter, straightening his back, trying to appear taller and overall more confident.
His voice was quiet, and it suspiciously sounded as if he told “you.”
Shaking your head, you asked, “what?”
Xiaojun felt a sudden wave of confidence rush through him before he repeated himself clearly. No, there was no shred of doubt. You heard him loud and clear. Confidently, Xiaojun admitted that he really want to do was you.
“You seriously think I haven’t noticed the way you look at me?” Xiaojun spoke in a somewhat accusing tone, eyeing you from head to toe before he took a cautious step toward you. Intimidated, you took a step backward, and that timid action made Xiaojun smirk.
He knew exactly what type of effect he had on you. All memories of lingering glances you had stolen of him when you had believed he hadn’t been looking came back rushing to you. You weren’t as sly and discreet as you thought you were.
“It really flatters me,” Xiaojun teased with a smug smile. “Don’t deny it, and come here,” he urged, spreading his arms, waiting for you to run into him.
At first, you were sure Xiaojun was just messing with your head. You believed he was teasing you. You imagined him flick your forehead if you walked into his personal space. It was obvious he was mocking you. There was no way in hell that he wanted you the way you wanted him. You must’ve been seeing things.
“Jesus, woman! Hurry the fuck up,” Xiaojun warned you, losing his patience. “If you’re not coming here, I am coming there,” he added, giving you one last chance for a change of heart. “Screw it,” he cursed, surging forward, trapping you in his tight embrace.
His actions spoke louder than words. All your previous thoughts were gone; Xiaojun wouldn’t have bothered this much to pull a prank on you. He was genuine. Xiaojun held you still in his arms, waiting for you to make a move. He would never try anything without your permission, regardless of how delicious your lips looked.
“Kiss me,” he ordered, and you rushed, smashing your lips against his in a passionate kiss. It was everything you imagined it to be, but tenfold better. You had fantasized about his moment plenty of times, and weirdly enough, Xiaojun’s mouth somehow felt both soft and rough at the same time. “Now, we’re talking.”
You two completely lost it. Hands were running on your bodies as you engaged in a heated moment, relieving your much maddening frustration. It felt amazing, and you wished you could carry on until you both lose all your energy.
“Let’s go to my place,” you mumbled once you pulled away. Xiaojun still held you pressed against him as he waited for you to elaborate, being painfully clueless to your ulterior motive. “It’s much closer from here than yours,” you added, and Xiaojun only smiled dumbly, waiting for you to word your request in an even more ridiculous way.
“Why bother going anywhere when I can have you here?” Xiaojun playfully announced, giggling as his gaze shifted from your gorgeous eyes to the countertop. Almost instantly you realized what his crazy proposition was. Did you really want your first time with him to be on the kitchen island inside the cooking show set? It would be a blatant lie if you said you had never considered this.
“Fuck me then,” you urged, giving Xiaojun permission to ruin you right there.
Xiaojun didn’t waste any time. In an instant, he wrapped his arms around your thighs as he picked you up and gently sat down on the countertop. Except for your pencil skirt, your legs were bare, so you let out a slight hiss once you felt the cold marble against your skin.
Biting your lips, you spread your legs, letting Xiaojun stand right between them.
“You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about fucking you here,” Xiaojun confessed before he leaned forward, stealing another desperate kiss. “You remember that time when we fought over the Oreo cake? I was so hard back then. I wanted to bend you over the counter so bad. I almost didn’t hold myself back.”
“You should’ve gone for it,” you whispered as you remembered that quarrel. That night Xiaojun had been the star of your fantasies when you used your vibrating friend to get yourself off. “I was so horny then. Almost as horny as right now,” you added, pulling him by his funny black tie, melting into yet another kiss.
Xiaojun was getting impatient. It was nice, but it wasn’t enough for him. Having untangled the knot of his apron, he yanked it off his hips, throwing it over his shoulder.
“I want to feel you so bad,” he murmured as he slid his fingers under your skirt, pulling your panties down your legs. “Let me prep you up,” Xiaojun uttered when his digits gently fondled your folds, gliding his knuckle inside of you. The moment you felt him, you let out a quiet moan, enjoying his little ministrations.
Xiaojun knew how to please a woman. He curled his fingers inside of you, stretching you out for his length. With your eyes shut closed, you focused on your pleasure, letting Xiaojun spoil you rotten. Though it was just mere petting, it felt nice as hell. He was getting you ready for his cock, and you basked in simple delight.
“Enough of that; I want you to fuck me now,” you kindly spoke, wrapping your palm around his wrist. “Please,” you added when you noticed how hesitant Xiaojun was of letting go. He planned on making you come first before properly fucking you with his cock, but since you asked him nicely, he decided to give you exactly what you wanted. Though he’d love to tease you some more, your pleading tone seemed to do the thing.
Swiftly, he yanked down his pants, revealing his member. It was standing proud, and you looked down at it, admiring it. Without any doubt, Xiaojun was to make your day.
As much as you wanted to return the favor, Xiaojun didn’t let you. Impatiently, he gave himself a few strokes before he aligned his cock with your entrance, rubbing its tip against your folds. Slowly, he pushed his hard length inside of you, making you groan.
Your grip on the edge of the countertop tightened as Xiaojun filled you up with his erection. At first, Xiaojun maintained a slow and steady rhythm. However, as you kept moaning his name and encouraging him to go faster, his thrusts became more rapid. Quickly, Xiaojun snapped his hips, finding your sweet spot in record time.
“Holy shit,” you exclaimed, feeling the knot inside of you tighten. You were moments away from your peak. Xiaojun’s cock stroked all the right places, pushing you off the edge. “Fuck, I am coming,” you shouted, kicking your head backward, welcoming the bliss that ripped through you.
When you were slowly descending back on Earth, Xiaojun kept chasing his release.
You could feel him throb inside of you. Then, an idea crossed your mind. Until now, it was Xiaojun who did all the work, so the least you could do was to encourage him to fill you up, to talk him through his orgasm.
“You fill me up so well. I came on your cock, and you’re still rock-hard. Do you want me to come again?” You complimented him, spilling filth. Though you weren’t sure if Xiaojun would be into dirty talk, you were certain he was eating it all up. Xiaojun was moaning your name as he snapped his hips, falling out of his even rhythm.
Xiaojun was near. His grip on your thighs tightened as he pounded inside of you, being only a few strokes away from his sweet bliss.
“Come inside of me,” you urged him. It was all it took to make him reach his peak. With a choked grunt, Xiaojun came, buckling his hips as he painted your walls with his release.
You remained silent as Xiaojun breathed heavily, trying to come back to his senses.
“If we’re ever doing it, here, again, I want you to spank me with this,” you commented as you reached for the spatula that sat on the other side of the counter. Xiaojun smirked upon seeing the kitchen utensil, tempted to try it out soon.
However, on second thought, tonight was just good as any other day.
“How about we take it with us over to your place,” Xiaojun proposed, and you cocked your eyebrow, excited to hear his suggestion. “Let’s get you cleaned up first,” he added as he bent down to pick up his apron. His release was dripping down your thighs, so he wiped it off with the fabric, looking rather pleased by the fact that you let him come inside of you.
“That sounds like a plan.”
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smutandfluffohmy · 4 years
Text
His Sweater #2
From: Smutandfluffohmy Pairings: George Weasley X Slytherin!Reader A/N: The time-line of events is altered for story telling purposes, something that will be very obvious if people want me to continue on with the story. I think this is the closest to slow burn I’ve gotten to in my entire fanfic career. Hope y’all can understand because asgyv my brain would rot if I tried to line it up with canon completely.
Read Part 1 here
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I have no wand, no socks and I’m wearing a Gryffindors sweater. This could go south terribly fast and I’m hoping for any other cardinal direction. If all else fails I could always throw a punch and run to my bed.For the second time that morning I almost crashed into someone. Seriously an entire hallway but we are still walking on the same side.
Draco stared at me from my face to the sweater, I wish he would notice my bunny slippers too. I also wished he would’ve seen me earlier in my utter Slytherin colors pride.
“Interesting sweater y/l/n” Draco said breaking the silence, scrunching his eyebrows at me. I could feel the Slytherin pride sermon bubbling inside of him.
“Interesting ingredients Malfoy” I answered back. Ingredients to make draught of peace, I’m surprised he had the ingredients, I’m surprised he was nervous and I’m surprised he was going to do it with unkempt hair.
“This didn’t happen and we didn't see each other.” He stiffened, straightening his back the glass containers clinking together.
“Brilliant as always.” I smiled, nodding at him and he doing the same. I’m sure if someone was looking at us right now we looked comical with our overly formal head nods. Starting to walk past each other, both of us going to our destination and trying not to think much about the other on our walk there.
Me, George’s sweater and my bunny slippers were home free, all we had to do is get back to the dorms without bumping into anyone else. But I don't know if it’s my seniority over the kid or perhaps as Snape’s potions assistant I felt responsible or even because I was just worried that made me turn around “Draco.” I called out to him.
He stopped, turning to face me “Y/n.”
Perhaps I should tell him that it’s 7 drops of hellebore not 8, or maybe that it’s supposed to be stirred both counter and clock wise or how it has to simmer for exactly 7 minutes. “If it’s not silver don't drink it.” Was all I could say and by far the best advice I could give him.
“Dully noted.” He said giving me a tight lipped smile, almost forced as if I was forcing him to give me a smile. “Thanks.” he muttered underneath his breath, his tightlipped smile softening at the edges.
The walk back to the dorms was no longer nor shorter than the walk from. Tho I was a bit warmer on both the inside and the outside all thanks to George. Climbing the stairs down to the common room I felt tired and heavy.
I want to sleep.I wish I could sleep but I’m afraid if I fall asleep, I must just wake up to having found out this was all but a fleeting dream. Nothing more but a hot chocolate induced fever dream. 
Slipping off my slippers I walked to the edge of the carpet. Curling my toes I wondered if the shock of the coldness would wake me up, still I had to know. Stepping on the cold floor I didn’t wake up nor did I bolt up in bed.The cold floor lets me know that this was real, I was truly awake. But I don't think one knows the true lengths the mind would go to to make up a dream.
Tiptoeing into my dorm I changed into my clothes for the day, taking extra care to fold George’s sweater in a way that both said ‘I took care of it for you’ and ‘I didn’t spend half an hour overthinking this’. Perhaps I was putting too much pressure on folding techniques but I wasn’t about to be exposed by the way sleeves folded over. Getting my school bag ready I laid everything out on the bed.
“Potions.Herbology.Alchemy” I said touching each textbook, books I’ve carried around a hundred times.But I was afraid my lack of sleep would magically turn my Herbology book into a history of magic and I wouldn’t realize till I was standing in Professor Sprouts class.
I spent all of breakfast looking for George but there was absolutely no sign of him. Every time I thought I spotted his hair from across the dinning hall it was just Ron, twice it was just Ginny and once even an overly toasted plate of hash browns.
My first class was to help Snape. A couple of over brewed potions helped keep me on my toes and for that I was grateful.
Second was alchemy.Where nothing particularly interesting happened and had me periodically sticking my hand in my bag just to double,triple, quadruple check that George’s jumper didn’t grow legs and run away.
Third was Herbology. The class I was waiting for, finally a class with Gryffindors that the Weasley twins were in. Walking a bit too quickly and a bit too excitedly to class I wasn’t the first to get there.I blame it on the ever moving stairs. Professor Sprouts lesson dragged on too long for my liking or maybe it was the fact that I was drilling holes at the back that George’s head that made it all drag on.
“Mind the Mandrakes children.” Professor Sprout said with a wave of her hand leaving us to work. Perhaps it was age that made you think of anyone younger than you as children, but we were all very grown up thank you very much.
Leaning over the table I whispered “Psst George.”. No movement.
“George” I called out a bit louder but again no efforts to look back at me. Blimey perhaps it was just how tall he was that he couldn’t hear me from up there or maybe he was just that hard of hearing.
“Bloody hell Weasley I’m calling you.” I called out again poking him with my wand, surely he wasn't hard of hearing and touch desensitized enough to ignore me. Reaching closer in an attempt to tug at his robes my wand fell to the ground as a shrill screech filled the class.
“What?Sorry can’t hear anything over the Mandrake” George said turning to face me, shrugging his shoulders with the screaming Mandrake in his hands. Surely he wasn’t that much of an idiot to pull a Mandrake out of the pot and surely I wasn’t that much of an idiot to be smitten by the smile he flashed me when he did it.
Finally I ended my day just like it began. In Snape’s classroom, only now it was my class messing up potions not first years.
I wonder if it was something I said. Perhaps the carrot comment was too out of hand or maybe they bumped into Draco or maybe he was a bit crossed because he was in fact cold. Am I thinking too much into it? Did he see my sweater fold and thought it was too messy?
Before I knew it potions was dismissed and I still had George Weasleys sweater in my bag. Getting ready for the game my mind still wandered too far for me to get it back, putting on far too many Slytherin colors for it not to be comical. The Slytherin common room buzzed with anticipation and excitement with people laying one the floor writing banners for friends and people writing friends and crushes quidditch number on banners and faces and arms. 
Sitting on the stands with the game dragging on, I put my cold hands inside the neatly folded sweater that was hidden inside my robes. I wonder if there was a time limit? A countdown? Were we even half way through?Admittedly I don't know a bloody thing about Quidditch just like I didn’t know a bloody thing about another sport. 
Anticipation filled me, wondering when if at all out spirit section was going to mirror that of Gryffindor. Seconds felt eternal and I started to worry that they had been caught in the act. 
Before I could continue tormenting myself the colors around me changed from green and silver to reds and golds. 
Pansy Parkinson that was seated just behind me looked down to her robes horrified they’ve been turned. I almost felt bad for her and nearly reached over to tell her that red was unfortunately her color. The look on her face when her ‘Go Draco’ banner had been hexed to read ‘Go Harry’ was something you expected when someone tells you you’ve just stepped on hippogriff poo. 
Snape looked crossed at the entire Gryffindor house and even Godric Gryffindor  as if he himself planned this all out from beyond the grave to give Salazar Slytherin a last jab. I almost felt guilty looking at the face of my professor, a fleeting guilt but nonetheless guilt. Shouts around me cheering on Slytherin were abruptly replace with cheers for Gryffindor. 
Smiling looking up at the players my eyes darted around for a glimpse of George or even Fred, but they all looked the same in their uniform. 
“Go George!” I yelled over the loud burst of ‘Go Gryffindor’s that surrounded me.
“Go Fred!” I yelled out for good measure, adding it as to not make him feel left out tho I doubt they could hear me over all the commotion. But nevertheless I would know even if they didn’t.
The game came to an end as Harry reached up with the snitch grasped firmly in his hand. Grunts filled the Slytherin area, cursing at their changed clothes, cursed horns and now quidditch loss. I don’t know why everyone is upset this always happens at Gryffindor and Slytherin games, in fact at this point it seemed like a poorly written Quidditch plot. The fact that Harry always caught the snitch, if I didn't know any better I would have to say Harry and the golden snitch had a pact going on.
Around me people didn’t move instead they cursed and jabbed fingers at the Gryffindor tower. They must be really be crossed at Gryffindor to be standing around complaining under snow, or maybe their sheer hatred was keeping them warm. Getting up to leave because I wasn't neither cross nor warm to be standing around.
“Where are you going?” Christy asked me stopping her conversation over the horrid color combination Gryffindor had as if ours were any better.
“I need to go to the restroom. Besides I’m too cold to be standing here complaining.” I said walking away and she promptly went back to her conversation.
Walking down the Slytherin section, I made my way to the Gryffindor Quidditch player section. Somewhere I was highly banned from being in because I was neither a Gryffindor nor a quidditch player.
“I nearly fell off my broom hearing Slytherin chant for us.” Someone who I assumed was Harry said between laughter. A smile spread on my face thrilled I did in fact contribute to a great Weasley prank.
“Having them cheer for us was bloody brilliant! That had to be your best one yet!” Ron beamed at his brothers. Brilliant I got a stamp of approval not only from Harry Potter but from the small Weasley as well.
“Yea an awfully brilliant addition.” I said stepping into view.
The room felt silent and for I moment I wondered for what reason.They’ve just won shouldn't they be happy? So why do they have such long faces. Forgetting and simultaneously remembering that I in fact was that very reason, the walking Slytherin banner for the second time that day leaving people uncomfortable. Even without the silver and green perhaps something about me just reeked of Slytherin.
“You shouldn’t be in here Slytherin.” Ron said standing up to face me.The words held so much anger my mind wondered to see if I had ever caused any misfortune to the younger Weasley.
“I-I-I” My brain forgot all words or perhaps it had forgotten the ability to form any excuses. I didn’t expect a warm welcome but definitely not this much hostility.
“Going to tell Snape on us?” Harry said quirking his eyebrow at me, great I had the look of not only a Slytherin but a snitch as well. Perhaps it was the hair.
“Oi hold on that’s no way to talk to the lady of the hour.” George called out stepping from putting away his broom and jogging to stand next to me. A arm rested around my shoulder, I wonder how much of my red face I could blame on the snow.
Fred made his way to my other side, placing his hand on top of my head. “While it pains me to admit. Y/n was the one that came up with the horn bit.” He said ruffling my hair, George shifting the slightest bit closer to me. The amount of attention was too much for me and the bizarre looks on Harry and Rons face was enough to make me want to test my luck with the unforgiving blizzard forming outside. “Tho I do think I could've come up with it if I had some time.” Fred shrugged.
“Sure she did” Ron scoffed looking between his brothers to me.
“Cross my heart.” Fred said crossing his heart. 
“Then I take back my compliment.” Ron said, the brotherly hatred he had for his brother far outweighing any sort of imaginary feud he had going on with me.
“Can't do that it’s already gone to my head.” Fred shrugged earning a laugh from Harry and comments on how they had to start out sourcing their pranks now from Ron.
George lead me just outside as the conversation inside kept building with Fred insisting that it was his genius that rubbed off on me, as if I would let him rub anything near me.
“Who was it in the hallway by the way?” George whispered leaning against the door frame. The hall was too cold and I had to inch forward towards George to step just out of the cold winds reach.
I shrugged “Oh it was just Draco.” I said having to look up to meet George’s eyes, I wish I was a bit taller or that he didn’t hover over me as much as he did.
His face turning into disgust just for a split second at the mention of his name “Just Draco?”
Was it Slytherin or Draco that had this effect on people? Somehow I know he would be a nuisance  regardless of his house. “He’s not that bad.He could ease up on the hair dye but he’s actually pretty decent.” I said mindlessly but truthfully.  “Don’t tell him I said that.” I shook my head looking up at George already visualizing just how much bigger Draco’s head would get if he knew I thought he was anything above horrid.
“Blimey I don’t think I could hold it in, it might slip out during our daily conversation” George said laughing. I wonder if I could bottle up that laugh or if I could make him laugh again just enough to commit it to memory.
“What? Draco not conversing with people outside of Slytherin? This is so unlike him I must check to see if he is feeling well.” I said faking worry for the sometimes socially awkward Slytherin. 
 “I came by to give you back your sweater.” I said holding it out towards him. Perhaps this was the end of our short lived friendship, perhaps after this we will go back to hardly speaking and perhaps I will go back to staring at him longingly during Herbology.
“You should come celebrate with us.” George said completely ignoring his sweater, the way he danced around it made me wonder if I actually offered him his sweater or if my mind was playing tricks on me.
“A Slytherin? At a Gryffindor party? Oh but George what would the neighbors think?” I laughed clutching the front of my robes.
George laughed “I’ll take care of them, I’ve been told I’m quite scary.” he said. I wondered who told him such a lie or if he was even capable of being even remotely scary.
Shaking my head I tried my best not to sound too disappointed “Thank you but I suspect I’m going to have to help mend an entire teams egos.” I said offering him his sweater once more.
“Keep it.” He said pushing it towards me, his voice too soft and too gentle that I wondered if a stray quidditch ball didn’t knock me out mid game and I was now living out one of those muggle romance movies.
“Bu-”
“My arms hurt from all the bludger tossing, don’t think I could carry it all the way back.” He shrugged, I wonder how tired ones arms had to be not to be able to carry a sweater back.Maybe if I played Quidditch I would’ve understood. “Just give it back to me later.”
“George hurry up we need to start celebrating!” Fred shouted sticking his head out the door looking at his brother, I wonder if his arms were equally as tired. “You coming?” Fred said looking down at me, shaking my head I wished I could accept.
“ ‘fraid not gotta go and hear my entire house moan about Gryffindors all night.” Shrugging, I could already heard Pansys moans and feel Dracos side eye of disapproval. I wonder if they were moping around the Slytherin common room in Gryffindor robes or they were so extremely crossed that they figured out a way to un hexed the robes.
“Should’ve gotten sorted into Gryffindor instead.” George said earnestly, I wondered how different this day would've played out if I was sorted into Gryffindor my first year. Perhaps Ron and Harry wouldn't be that cross with me or perhaps they would’ve gotten something else to not like about me.
“I’ll make sure to send my complains to the sorting hat.” 
Fred pointed his finger at me “We got an end of year plan we’re going to need your opinion on.” he said smiling.
“See you later then?” George asked but I wish he would’ve stated, a promise sounded more hopeful than a question.
“I’ll keep an eye out.” I nodded seeing them walk away, deciding to wait a bit before I walked out. I suspect hateful tensions for Gryffindors from Slytherins are at an all time high right now and I truly don't want to get hexed in a weather like this.
“Bloody brilliant that one, wish I would've given her my sweater. Think she’ll take my jersey?” Fred said in a failed attempt at a whisper, something told me Fred Weasley was a terrible whisperer.  “Oi Y/N you still cold?” He called out towards me with his arms raised, waving them around as if I couldn't see the only other people in the hall.
“Shut up!” George said clapping his hands forcing Fred to keep walking.
“What I can’t worry about a girl’s warmth levels?” Fred said playfully shoving George.
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waveypedia · 3 years
Text
Leaving the Nest
Companion piece to The Family We Make (can be read in any order)
Ao3
Granny’s posture is as immaculate as always, but her knuckles grip the pan just a little too tight. To an outsider, she would seem the perfect picture of serenity, but Webby knows the tells that give her away too well.
Of course she does. Granny is Webby’s favorite person in the entire world.
Webby’s family has grown and grown over the last few years, and she wouldn’t trade that for the world. But if it came down to it, Granny is more her family than anyone else. Even the boys. Even Dad.
“Dear, I think we should talk about… the other day,” Granny trails off, awkward and lame. It would be disorienting to see Granny, normally so put-together and articulate, struggling with words. But a couple days ago, Webby saw her chained and captured, crying and beaten, forced to spill her darkest secrets and then knocked out. Manipulated. Nothing Granny does can faze her in quite the same way.
Webby takes a deep breath. “I… I think so too,” she says. “But, honestly, I don’t have anything to say. You’re my Granny.”
Granny’s shoulders slump in relief before she catches herself, her decades of SHUSH training snapping in, and she reorients herself to her ever-present poker face. 
“I’m not, you know,” Granny says quietly, her voice full of shame. Webby stiffens, and glances away before Granny can see the tears pooling in her eyes. “I- I stole you from a SHUSH compound. The photos you have of your parents were a lie. Just another lie among many.”
“I don’t care,” Webby snaps, with more anger in her voice than she intended. But as soon as the words are out of her mouth, she realizes that she truly does feel that anger. Not towards Granny herself, but towards the notion that Granny isn’t her grandmother.
“You’re my grandmother,” Webby declares passionately. “I don’t care if you’re not related to me. I don’t care if I’m a clone of Dad. You stole me from a FOWL compound because you cared about me from the moment we met. You gave up your entire life and a career you’d been working towards for decades for me. You raised me. You locked yourself in the mansion to keep me safe. You’re my grandmother.”
“I’m happy to hear that, dear,” Granny says in the softest of whispers. “More than you could ever know.” Webby thinks she hears Granny’s voice catch, but she can’t be certain. 
“But I lied to you, even after I promised I wouldn’t,” Granny continues, her tone more subdued. She crosses her hands in her lap, making a controlled effort to smooth them out. “You have every right to be angry with me.”
Webby reaches forward and takes her grandmother’s hand in both of hers. “I do,” she agrees. Granny’s head snaps up and she stares at Webby, eyes wide. Webby shrugs nonchalantly, shoulders loose, emulating Louie’s calculated facade of easy calm without realizing it. “But that’s not the kind of person I am, Granny.”
Webby glances away, pursuing her lips. She can’t bear to watch Granny’s face twist in pain. “I… I am frustrated that you lied to me and broke your promise,” she says slowly, haltingly, choosing her words carefully. She’s walking a thin line, basically a tightrope with no net, of expressing her feelings and not upsetting her Granny. “Just don’t do it again, please.”
Granny’s face softens. “Of course, Webby dear. No more secrets.” 
She reaches out to hug Webby, and Webby obliges, but she says stiff. “That’s what you said last time,” Webby mutters into Granny’s shoulder. Her words are almost too soft to be heard, but judging by the way Granny stiffens, she does.
Granny pulls back, her hands still on Webby’s shoulders. She opens her mouth a few times, frantically searching for words, some kind of placating promise that she didn’t already break.
 “You’re right. Of course,” Granny acquiesces at last, hanging her head. Strands of grey hair drip out of her bun by the pull of gravity. Webby swallows thickly, bile pooling in her throat. Granny is reacting perfectly, yet all she does is remind Webby of when they were stuck together in a dark FOWL interrogation room, a wall of pain and deception painfully thick between them.
Webby reaches out a small hand to touch Granny’s shoulder. “Granny, please,” she whispers. She’s not sure if Granny understands the true meaning behind her plea in its entirety, but she pulls herself back together nonetheless. For a few minutes, silence hangs between them. It’s not a comfortable silence, but it’s not stifling, either. It’s just… anticipatory.
“I can’t simply promise that I won’t lie to you anymore,” Granny says at last. Her voice is quiet and subdued, but honest and vulnerable. It’s open in a way Granny rarely is. “But I will do better from now on. I’ll prove my sentiments through actions, not empty promises.”
Webby smiles gratefully. It’s not her usual wide, face-splitting grin, but it’s soft and vulnerable, with layers and meaning behind it. “Thanks. I… I want to know things. About SHUSH. Classified things. The parts of my past you could never tell me, and new information, too.”
Granny’s gaze shoots away. “I-I can’t,” she replies immediately, and Webby’s heart drops. It must show in her face, because Granny’s own twists with guilt. 
“I- Well- I suppose I did just promise to, didn’t I,” Granny says, half to herself, with a small chuckle. There’s little humor behind it, but it’s fond. “I will do my best, Webbigail. But please understand that there is some SHUSH information that is simply beyond my classification to give you.”
“I understand,” Webby says simply. “But the information you can give me… I want to know, Granny.”
Granny’s fists clench and unclench in her lap. Webby knows how uncomfortable and out of her depth she must feel. She protected Webby with her life for years by hiding these secrets, and it takes time to undo such habits. But she’s trying, and that’s all that Webby cares about. 
“Do you remember the day I met the boys?” Webby asks, her voice lighter and more casual than she feels. There’s a pit of fear steadily growing in her stomach, but her voice is blessedly steady. 
Granny’s smile is small but fond. “You snuck out,” she replies, a hint of reproach in her voice, but no malice. It’s a wound long since healed, leaving only a soft scar as a reminder that it existed at all. “You ignored my number one rule and left the mansion for the very first time.”
“Yeah, and it was new and scary,” Webby replies lightly, ignoring the jab. “But you let me go, because you knew it was for the best. Because I was growing up.”
“Because Mr. McDuck could keep you safe,” Granny adds pointedly, but she’s smiling, if a bit pained.
“Yeah, and he did! I’m fine, Granny. Besides, I can keep myself safe.”
“Tell that to the you that landed yourself in FOWL headquarters with all your allies captured and no real clue what was in store for you,” Granny quips. “My worst nightmare, come alive right in front of my eyes.”
“I’m sorry,” Webby mutters, dropping her gaze to her feet. “But hey, if you’d told me the truth, maybe I wouldn’t have been so misinformed.”
Granny dips her head. “You make a good point. I concede that one.”
“Anyway, that’s just what this is like,” Webby continues. “It’s a big change. But it’s a necessary one. I’m ready for this, Granny.  You are too. And in time, this’ll feel completely normal, and we’ll have forgotten what it was like to live like we are.”
Granny is silent for a few moments. Webby glances up, nervous, only to find Granny smiling proudly, and wiping a small tear away under her glasses.
“Webby, dear, you are so wise,” she says, her voice thick. Webby’s heart clenches. “Aren’t I the one supposed to give you the deep, heartfelt talks and inspire you, and not the other way around?”
Webby gives her a small smile. “You’ve done it before, Granny. Don’t sell yourself short.”
Granny sniffles rather uncharacteristically. Without warning, she lunges forward and scoops Webby up in a tight hug. “Oh, my dear,” Granny says, her voice choked with tears. “You are just lovely, you know that? How did I ever get so lucky to have you for a granddaughter?”
“Well, it’s partly because of you,” Webby says, smiling into her grandmother’s back. “You raised me.”
Granny nods into Webby’s shoulder. “And it was lovely.”
When Granny finally pulls back, she tugs Webby back to face her, her hands on Webby’s shoulders. “You’re growing up,” she says thickly. “Oh, Webbigail, I am so proud of you.”
Webby beams at her grandmother. “I’m proud of you, too.”
“Oh,” Granny says thickly, and hugs her again.
~
HEY REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I WOULD WRITE THE CONVERSATION WITH WEBBY AND BEAKLEY WELL HERE IT IS :D (rip my poor math homework i’ll be up all night finishing that ugh)
i wrote this in like,, 45 minutes because i had to get the few sentences i was thinking about down before i forgot them and just,, kept going lmao. rip the webby & lena convo story i’ve been chipping away at that is going absolutely nowhere rn. i’ll get to it
webby and beakley’s relationship is SO important to me. beakley literally gave up everything for webby. it’s so obvious how much beakley cares about her, but also,,, they had this entire episode about trusting each other and then beakley promises not to keep any more secrets from webby and she has absolutely zero intention of keeping it. that always gets me. especially since webby is one of the most trusting characters of all time and would never doubt her grandmother of all people after they made up. i’m not salting on beakley or anything, but it’s very interesting to think about going forward since beakley will obviously try to do better, especially once the major factor keeping her quiet is gone, but she really doesn’t have a leg to stand on since she broke her promise. definitely an interesting concept we should talk about more
we talk a lot about how scrooge never apologized to webby after telling her she wasn’t family in last crash of the sunchaser and she immediately forgave him. scrooge def should’ve apologized but it’s interesting to note that webby basically can’t and won’t hold a grudge for the life of her, at least when it comes to the people she cares about (she definitely can with goldie DJDFKLSLDF). it’s sweet. i imagine beakley feels incredibly guilty after the finale but webby’s just ready to move on and to enter a new chapter of their lives where they’re completely honest and open with each other. i don’t imagine she’s not upset at the deception, but she’s not mad.
also man that interrogation scene? that probably traumatized webby. man. what a shitty situation to be in i can’t even imagine.
beakley and webby’s relationship will always mean the world to me, especially with the added context of their backstory. beakley literally saw one (1) baby and was like i’m about to end this man’s (me) whole career LMAO. it’s incredible.
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spade-riddles · 3 years
Text
"Adjusting Expectations" Post
This submission received a lot of responses and 120 notes, so I thought I would compile the comments here.
Anonymous said:
Adjusting expectations anon was so good. If their timetables are right and we do just need to be patient a little longer, can Kaylor please send us a sign? I guess it would be too loud to slip "adjusting expectations" into social media posts, but maybe they could both do something with playing cards? To show they are card sharks right now but they'll find their way home eventually? That would reassure people. And it would fly under the radar.
casuallycruel131313 said:
I agree with a lot of this but I think the main issue right now is that moral and ethical lines have been crossed and there's no coming back from that. In these post-Trumpian insurrectionist times it's unfathomable that they could continue the Kushner narrative I no longer care if or when they come out, I enjoy the music and I'm happy to observe from a distance because I'm interested from a PR/marketing point of view but my opinion of T &K as people has changed irrevocably and I don't see how they can clean the tarnish off.
@theprologues said:
Agree with most of not all if this but I would like to say as a Kaylor the toe Grammy stunt didn’t phase me. I was not crushed by that by any means. I just shrugged and honestly expected it. It was the attributing Betty and exile to him during the LPSS in November that bummed me out and really made me go...really?
rockcrow20 said:
Have to say I also agree with most of this.
I no longer have any expectations on anything changing any time soon and have not been surprised by the recent events its to be expected after everything over the years really
Nothing has really changed (bearding narrative wise) since I fell down the rabbit hole in 2017 (except that great night in nashville 2018 rep)
Honestly I can't say I am as invested anymore about them ever coming out as I was.
I think the wb/Joe thing was the last moment for me and the continual kushner connection just troubles me like many others.
I mean my kaylor motto for awhile now has been hope for the best but expect disappointment.
Low expectations = limited feelings of disappointment.
original-cypher said:
@rockcrow20 the WB was a breaking point for so many. You are absolutely right. There are just so ma'y contradictions that feel like absolute whiplash. (I know I seem to have been the only one experiencing that with Gorgeous but... that was a big one for me, too) But like. You go on a whole PR campaign about speaking up and standing up for yourself. You say you're capable and tired of men trying to take ownership of your success and profit off of your name. And you credit you literal damn work to a bloke? Bitch, 'consistency'? Look it up. It grossed me out. It would have felt iffy if I believed they were real. But since I wasn't born yesterday it just sent me the message "this is how far I'm willing to sacrifice my principles to not be queer".
rockcrow20 said:
@original-cypher exactly why it bothered me and I know alot us so much. Such mixed messaging of being a strong fighting for your rights female and then oh hey let me attribute some of my best work to my pr boyfriend and the pr pics where she is walking behind all the time like 🙄 The Betty thing that was big one for me too!
rainbowdaisy13 said:
This write up and the comments are spot on. I don’t have much to add other than like @original-cypher said, Miss Americana is tainted for me now and seems like at the very least, it was released too soon in the plan. I get we think they have had to pivot but man, that doc, and including her literally saying “gay rights make me me” at the end was such a false flag. To see her wax poetic about not taking shit from men anymore and then see her do the same old hetero weak woman song and dance routine with the WB shit for albums that are of her genius mind has been so disappointing. I still believe Kaylor is real and I hope they get a chance to show the world that. Karlie posting that cardigan pic in the woods before the folklore release cemented for me they are still together. Adding a baby makes me feel all kind of weird ethical things but I hope I live long enough to see it play out and wear my I Told You So shirt 😁
@kellykaylor said:
agree with your post... I dont care about toe stunts but what really pissed me of was hetwashing betty 🤮! beautiful post tho anon!!
roameroo said:
Totally agree with these all comments especially the strong messaging of MA only to turn around & pull that WB = my "bf" crap. I was disheartened by her mentioning him at the Grammy's only bc he's getting credit for sh*t he doesn't/didn't do. That is what irks me the most about this, giving him credit for her life's work.
always-the-last-word said:
Can I throw my pennies in the pool ?? Taylor will put out the big three first Fearless, RED then 1989 that should bring us to about August. This is where the excitement should begin. If Taylor preps and waits for National Coming Out day it's a no lose for her. Lover her money making machine will go through the roof !! If things go bad or good in the public eye she'll have REPUTATION Taylor's Version ready to release. It will be epic and she'll own it and be FREE.
@karlie-what-you-want said:
always-the-last-word I like this take a lot! I try not to be too optimistic but if she wanted to come out sooner rather than later, I think this plan would satisfy both business and PR needs (at least on Taylor’s end). Remains to be seen how Tay will help Karlie dig her way out of the mess they made together regarding the K*shners.
always-the-last-word said:
Always remember that Taylor has a PLAN. Some of her plans are year's old (easter eggs). Taylor's one and only LOVE is her music, everything else comes second. If KK wants to change and be with her full time she'll make moves around the same time frame. That's if she chooses to. In any event Tay will be open and own all her music. I've seen this film before and WE might not like the ending.
chosetherose said:
I’ve been going back and forth for a day trying to figure out what I wanted to say when I reblogged this post. I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I understand I’m owed nothing by Taylor or Karlie. I understand that circumstances out of their control have caused the girls to pivot over and over again.
But, the root of my frustration in the past months stems not from me battling with the trivial (e.g. pap walks, etc.) but with my personal principles. I fiercely believe credit should be given where it is earned and I uphold this in my career regularly. To see Taylor crediting Toe with her art was deeply disappointing. Watch the 1989 and folklore acceptance speeches back to back and tell me it doesn’t upset you. I believe the K******s have blood on their hands and that their actions during the pandemic have killed people. To see Karlie still associating with one of them disgusts me.
I can’t help but think back in frustration - Would you really fall from grace to touch her face? (And in the brilliant words of @9w1ft) But would you die for her in public? I go back and forth feeling like questions like this aren’t fair at all and thinking they are sort of valid. At this point, it sort of feels like Taylor would only fall from grace for her lover if all the stars and facets of her life aligned perfectly. But perfection like this does not happen. Such is life. So why am I here?
I do question why Spade left certain messages in their final days. I am still holding hope a fervent revolution exonerates everyone. I so desperately want Taylor to regain control of her masters or re-records. Maybe this is the plan they thought was best with multiple goals in mind (re-records, having a family, coming out of the closet one day etc). I’m trying to remain patient because Spade told us to trust her endless yearning. But WOW it is asking a lot of us at this point.
Anonymous said:
Despite being a pragmatist kaylor and oftentimes getting into arguments with fellow optimistic kaylors (owner of this blog included) I think it's quite unfair -at this point- to say to the optimists who have patiently sat through the worst kind of stunts with the most terrible kind of people (yes I'm talking about the Kushner's friend group too) that they should have seen it coming. Besides, if it weren't for the optimists we the cynicals would have burned this fandom down by now.
Anonymous said:
Even if we ignore that an insurrection happened partially because of the family karlie's still working for and getting paid from, she literally said before the pregnancy debacle unfolded that j*sh was her last client while talking about cutting hair and doing a cutting gesture. How should we have interpreted that? 😤That a year later she would be more stuck with the Kushners than ever? We don't wake up on day and decide to have unrealistic expectations. She feeds into them. 😠
Anonymous said:
I have no expectation of Taylor coming out anymore. Zero. None. I have no expectation of her dropping Toe or even of Kaylor publicly reuniting. It doesn't even matter that much anymore. But I - do - expect 1 thing. Karlie to drop and completely dissociate herself from the Kushners and this has nothing to do with kaylor. It was everything to do with me being unable to support a person who willfully assists (now using her baby too) and receives money from a family that has made so many suffer.
Anonymous said:
A quick word from an ex-kaylor (who will never become an anti). A year ago, when the Trumps were still in power and untouchable and there was no baby, I was excusing and turning a blind eye to many things Karlie did for the K*shners. Even that dinner in September. I had also made peace with the truth never being revealed. But a year later the Trumps are gone, Karlie is still on full stunting mode now with a baby in the mix, a baby that is already being used by the Kushners, and I've really run out of excuses. Now the only thing that could possibly keep me on board is if I knew there was a good chance that the full truth would come out, so that Karlie's inexplicable and honestly borderline immoral actions could eventually make sense. But as your sub said, this is an unrealistic expectation, thus I became an ex-kaylor and I'm not planning to come back even when they reunite. 😕
Anonymous said:
What baffles me is that Taylor has explicitly expressed her regret about not giving her lover the credit she deserves and her doubt whether fame is worth hiding her true love: "when I walked up to the podium, I think I forgot to say your name", "what's a lifetime of achievement, if I pushed you to the edge". But yet again she didn't do anything to change this. I didn't expect her to acknowledge Karlie, but a nod or at least not falsely crediting her beard would be a good start.
Anonymous said:
1🙁 Let me chime in re: "expectations". I'm one of the kaylors who ever since the pregnancy reveal was trying to tell everyone there's NO way she was gonna dump him soon after birth let alone before that. It would bring too much unnecessary attention and Jerk would have never agreed to something that would make him look like a bad guy/husband. For the exact same reasons, I was also saying there's no way he wasn't going to post about the baby. All the above against the popular opinion back then.
2🙁 So I agree that the day of the birth post was known to T, not the timing though. Simply bc Kushner-leaning outlets made sure to note that detail. If they wanted it to go unnoticed, why draw attention to it? That being said, kaylors would have been more patient with this mess, if Karlie hadn't gone overboard with her freedom "smoke signals" last summer and Tay's "insiders" hadn't been insinuating that the end is VERY near. Both of them SHOULD have known by then how we would react to these.
3🙁 So it's natural that everyone feels played and has no patience for any more bullshit. Another sore point is how Jerk AND the Kushner-Trump klan monopolize the baby news. This isn't just to make it realistic, it's an abuse of Kaylor's baby's name to garner good pr for the worst family in America, with Karlie's blessing. In order for her marriage and split to appear realistic she's putting a LIFETIME burden on her child's back. Unless you believe she's eventually gonna say Jerk isn't the dad.
4🙁 So "we’re in a position we should realistically have been able to see coming". But we did see it coming, that why some made these extreme scenarios, bc this is the worst possible outcome. "Good people try to make it work, even in bad relationships." Ultimately this isn't just a "bad rs". It's a horrific association that should have been resolved ages ago, not one to bring your child into, doom it to suffer a similar fate, and expect people to sit idly and watch. That's what frustrates most.
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popculturebuffet · 3 years
Text
Star Vs: Stump Day Review or The Why Are You Booing Tom He’s Right Holiday Special
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Before we start a special credit to @jess-the-vampire​ who I discussed the episode with during the writing process and brought up a LOT of good points that ended up going into this review. She clearly hates it as much as I do and had even more good reasons for it.  Happy Hanukah, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Everybody! And today we got a big, fat, grotesque lump of coal to smash to pieces. And after a long, draining, if worth the effort scrooge review, and with this being something I needed to cross off my to do list this holiday season, I put this one here as I could use the cathariss of giving this steaming bowl of elephant piss a good thrashing. As you can tell unlike my usual reviews, I do not like this episode. This isn’t the FIRST i’ve not liked i’ve covered, but it is the first rather infamous one to me i’ve covered and not just a dead possum of an episode I ran into while reguarly covering an otherwise good show like “Quaraller’s Pass” or “Strife of the Party”. This one’s had it coming, making my top 8 worst christmas specials list last year, and while not the series worst outing, that’s a toss up between the finale and marco jr, it’s easily one of them. So while usually I like diving deeply into something good and picking apart while it’s good, if not ignoring any bad aspects, here i’m just going to take a hammer to this thing to explain why it dosen’t work and why it sucks dirty ass in thunderstorms. I might be overstating it a bit but probably not.  Nothing really new has happened since the last episode so the only new thing to cover is why i’m doing the episode here instead of after Monster Bash. And the simple reason is that like the Ducktales Halloween and Christmas specials, this episode clearly does not take place in the same time frame of the episode before or after it, with the next episode, The Bog Beast of Bogabah, taking place the day after Monster Bash. It’s most likely they simply held this episode over till Christmas and it dosen’t really fit in AFTER the huge game changer that is monster bash, especailly since the next three episodes after this all take place in rapid sucession, two on the same day one the day after them. So yeah i’m doing this one first and putting it ahead of monster bash on my episode guide for clarity’s sake. 
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Good, so with all that settled, let’s unwrap this complete works of pauly shore shall we? We open on the titular Stump Day, essentially mewni’s christmas complete with Cocoa, carols and a gay couple and their equally adorable child. And Star, unsuprisingly is giddy for it as the actual chlidren, and wearing an adorable santaesque dress complete with horns on her santa hat. Seriously you cannot tell me tom didn’t get that for her. Fucking precious. Marco is more just confused and has his hood up and one of Star’s cousins asks uncle river to tell him the origin of stump day. River’s response.. is easily the best joke of the episode. 
“(in a jolly tone) ha ha, you don’t tell me what to do”
He does so anyway though: Basically when settlers arrived on Mewni they found themselves cold and griping with each other, and soon found a blizzard had struck.. but by huddling together under a magic stump, they all learned to get along or something like that and now once a year everyone gathers in warmth and camraderie.. or else. Before Marco can understandably question what “or else” means in this context, Star butts in when one of her cousins chastises the younger one who asked river the question for beliviing and says he’s real. It’s a nice touch as it fits star perfectly to still belivie in mewni’s horrifying version of santa. I forgot just how adorable and likeable the character was before the final season shot that to hell. How her energy could be infectious and how Eden Sher really brought her all to the performance, which is still the performance of her career and hopefully like Rider Strong she’ll do more voice acting eventually.  So that night as Star tucks in after wonderful  night of sleep, and to avoid her dad’s usual drunken chorus of Tom Jones “Sex Bomb”, and gets woken up by Marco who leads her to the dining hall because a windows broken to fix it with magic. Star entirely buys this flimsy story.. but as Jess pointed out, and as I missed hence the credit up top... she dosen’t bring her wand. She.. dosen’t bring her wand.. to go fix something with magic. Now i’ll grant next season shows she CAN fully do magic without it, and while not as powerful like her mom still has plenty of punch behind it.. especially when she does the rainbow fist thing. But it’s still.. weird she dosen’t think to grab it and feels out of character. While Star’s learned by this point not to rely on it, and as we’ll see gives it up entirely, one of the few bits of her character development that actually sticks, it still seems resonable she’d take it with her wherever she goes.. and usually SHE DOES. And her jammies, which are also adorable, seem to have pockets so the animators had no reason to not just stuff it in one. It would’ve made their job harder yes.. but then don’t have marco use an excuse that directly requires it then and draws attention to the fact the wand is missing, and the fact you blatantly just hoped we’d forget about it as it’d ruin the climax. 
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It’s far from the worst thing in this episode..trust me we’re almost there. But this does bring me to a point.. so far the episode is GOOD. The comedy’s good, the setup for what’s about to happen is good, the holdiay setting is warm and inviting but weird enough to perfectly fit mewni, and River, much like his VA and homosexual talking boat portrayer Alan Tudyuk, is a national treasure as always. Whelp it’s all down hill from here bitches! Giddyup. 
So Marco announces a SUPRISE PARTY! And everyone’s there: Tom, Kelly, Ponyhead, Starfan14... oh yeah this is the first ep i’ve coverd with Starfan14 isn’t it? Starfan14 is star’s insane fangirl, voiced by series creator Derfron Nercy herself, who star happily tolerates despite clearly wanting to wear her skin. We’ve all been there. Also Jackie is transparently missing, though at least it’s SOMEWHAT reasonable as she and marco broke up a few .. months ago? I mean it is winter on mewni for this episode but the end of season 4 and the series is set at the start of summer, yet months still pass..... 
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Confusing timeline aside, Jackie has every reason not to attend a party thrown by her ex for the girl who confesed she had feelings for said ex and it’s probably the only good decision Marco makes this entire episode that he wisely decided to give Jackie some space. And it says something a decision made entirely off screen that was probably because the creators genuinely forgot Jackie once she was out of the way so they could shift the love triangle stuff to Tom, Star and Marco instead of you know.. not doing that because most love triangles are annoying at best and utterly insufferable at worst. Case in point this episode but I can give out more about this aspect of things in a bit with more context. 
And to his credit, and as Jess backed me up on, Marco’s gesture is genuinely throughtful.. at least to start with. He got her a choclate fountain, brought all of her friends, and geninely just thought Star never celebrated her birthday on her birthday because it was you know the same day as christmas. As someone whose birthday is a week before christmas, December 16th if you were curious, I understand the pain of having your birthday in the same month as christmas. Of having all your presents clustered at once and of having to manuver around a very stressful season, though it does sometimes have perks like getting to celebrate your birthday and christmas, it also means your birthday is secondary and always will be to most people due to proximity. And Star has hers ON mewman christmas, so it’s even worse. So from Marco’s perspective, TO START, his best friend constantly had to share her birthday with her faviorite holiday and just wanted to do something nice. SO FAR, he’s done nothing wrong and just means well. That’s... about to end.  Star.. instead of being greatful.. starts muttering no before going on an manic rampage and destroying everything including hte band’s insturments. And apparnetly star’s gotten some flack for her behavior.. but I understand it. To her the stump is VERY real, and will be very angry if someone else celebrates so to her all she’s doing is saving her best friend from the holiday equilvent of the trees from evil dead, and when Marco asks about it she GENUINELY is sorry, getting he meant well, that he was being sweet, and that he did a lot of nice stuff for her.. she just can’t celebrate not because she loves the holiday but because again, from her persepctive, the stump will kill them all if they don’t support it. She is genuinly affraid for her friends lives and given she could go grab her wand and fight it, clearly thinks she, with all her CONSIDERABLE powers, cannot win this, and neither can tom whose powers are almost entirely fire based. Star is just trying to protect her friends from being horribly murdered. And she turns out to be entirely right about it so no, star was not a jerk here. A bit over the top, but she was not insensitive, she was not mean, she just didn’t want a party for understandable reasons.
So let’s get to actually insensitive shall we?! Marco’s reaction to this is at first confusion as he didn’t realize the stump was real, though Tom, Kelly and Pony are convinced it’s not. Also this episode implies Kelly is from mewni, but she turns out not to be so why she knows about the stump I genuinely don’t know. They think it’s just a baby thing.. though in Tom’s defense he dosen’t phrase it that way, thinks star still beliving is cute, which for a teenage boy finding out his girlfriend belivies in santa is very sweet and mature of him, and is trying to be nice about it even if he doesn’t believe.  But Marco.. his response to his friend having a good reason for not wanting to have the party.. is to complain about how much effort he put into it and try to guilt and bribe her into having it by mentoining he got her faviorite cake flavor, rainbow. Just.. WOW. I’ve seen some bad turns from characters, but WOWWWWWW. Holy shit.. I mean at least other jerkass marco episodes before this had SOME reasoning to them. Sophmore Slump had him clearly sublimating his feelings for star combined with the usual obnoxiousness of someone having gone abroard for the first time, which as Letterkenny recently went into, the only thing worse is Stillborn Puppies. Nothing else. 
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And with Lint Catcher while he was presumptive and not blameless.. river still outright lied to him. Here? It’s clear star dosen’t want this, cake can be refigirated, he only takes a loss on the choclate fountain and he could still just let everyone have some and say it’s for stump day to appease her. He dosen’t have to take a loss on this finacially or morally and there would be no harm done. But that’s.. not what HE wanted, not waht HE set up and he wants what HE wanted, which was to impress star with a thoughtful gesture. But that’s the thing bud: Gestures aren’t about you or what you get. Their about doint something nice for another fucking person. It’s the whole point of christmas and birthdays: To just give someone something to be ncie and to celebrate the day and them respectively. If she dosen’t WANT your gift for understandable reasons and isn’t being rude about it you don’t have any leg to stand on you seflish twatwaffle. 
So already Marco is not coming off well.. and if you know this episode you know it gets worse. Oh god it gets worse. So first PONYHEAD of all people calls out Marco.. and for once, PONYHEAD, the most selfish, most unresonable and a character whose tolerablity varies on the episode, tells him he’s being selfish and is only pressing on because of his need to control things. So not only is Ponyhead right but the episode LIKELY wants you to feel she’s wrong because she’s pony which is not how this work as she knows star well and thus, while unaware she still belivied in the stump, which tracks as while it’s obvious she does Pony is so up her own whatever she has that functions as an ass, it’s understandable she’d miss some details. So no Pony’s right, and the fact PONY is one of the more resonable people in this episode is both a sign of the apocalypse, which is thankfully starting to recede, and a clear marker of just how bad Marco’s being if someone who torments him and disagrees with him out of principal is entirely right. 
Oh but it gets worse as next up, Tom steps in and tries to get Marco to back out, admitting he told him this was a bad idea. Now granted Tom did mess up by not stepping in to stop this a bit.. but he A) didn’t know how much his girlfriend genuinely belivied in the stump and B) Probably assumed Marco meant well, as would I before he whined about not getting his way, and decided it was worth a try. So he’s not that bad, and while it is a bit ehhh to try and take back credit for this when he participated, it’s still minor and Marco is still being a huge dick who refuses to help shut things down when it’s clear the party is only causing star to have a panic attack and assault some humble marachi players. He sees nothing good is coming from this and just wants what star wants. Also it paints Marco in a worse light as he was warned about this, and was so obssed with making it a suprise party because that’s how his plan went, he refused to just.. talk to her about it. Hell he could’ve just casually asked “Why do you never celebrate your birthday on your birthday”. It’s an easy question, dosen’t give the game away and allows him to gage if this is a good idea or not BEFORE baking a cake , hiring a band and getting a chocolate fountain. Instead he just went ahead with it.  And he did so.. because this ISN’T about making Star happy. This is abotu HIM making star happy. Him showing her how thoughtful, and considerate and sweet he is and how he’s always been there for her and how maybe she should be with him instead of Tom. I mean it just comes off that way.. he made it a suprise party because in his head that’s how it worked and she was super impresed and left tom that day to be with him in some elaborate fantasy. Granted the episode dosen’t say this.. but it sure as hell acccidently implies hte hell out of it by having marco act like a selfish ass who refuses to take what STAR wants into consideration, and just wants to get his fantasy back on track. What supports this to me is how he treats tom, you know one of his best friends: He, again, accuses him of forgetting.. then calls him a bad boyfriend.. a bad boyfriend for NOT wanting to force a celebration on his girlfriend she does not want, and for not forcing it on her. For you know GROWING AS A PERSON.  Beacuse here’s the pickle pumpernickle: This thing Marco’s doing? Is exactly the kind of thing a pre-character development TOM did, that was rightfully framed as bad. Being controlling, wanting things to go JUST a certain way instead of letting them flow naturally, not getting the hint star isn’t intrested, and not caring about what she wants and only what you want. Marco is doing the same thing Tom used to do. And for starters i’ts already bad because you know MARCO WAS THE ONE WHO FINALLY GOT IT THROUGH TO TOM THAT THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR WAS TOXIC AND SELFISH. But apparently when it’s Marco himself doing it it’s fine. If there was ever any clear evidence Marco regressed as a character, there it is.  Him actively unelarning a lesson he taught someone else and then getting combative when that person rightly tries to call him out. Marco is just insufferable in this episode: He’s being selfish, creepy and posseive and he’s apparenlty supposed to, at least on some level BE RIGHT.  But.. we will get to that. Consider a pin put in this rant. 
So Tom overreacts, and throws some fire at marco, which is genuinely wrong and Kelly’s right to call him out, and then headlocks him asking marco to say he’s a good boyfriend. Marco screams out ‘NEVVVEEEERRRR”
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I just made this, by hapinstance, while watching the video I put up there. I.. I did not think i’d get to use this so soon but my god. Just my god that’s a terrible thing to say.  So the party soon breaks down elsewhere as Kelly is mad at tom for.. understandable reasons again the guy she has a crush on was just nearly set on fire, even if i’m still on Tom’s side overall here, it’s still not right. Janna points out it’s probably because she has a crush on marco, which while acurate dosen’t mean she was wrong and Tad pops out to be upset about that. Even though you know you two are broken up and as Kelly points out he needs to move out. Pony is mad she’s not getting any attention and Starfan is mad because star’s mad. Star results to desperate measures, opening the windows to try and repeate the act of the settlers.  She didn’t however count on the Janna factor as she throws the stump in the fire, which is in chracter. What’s not, and again I give Jess full credit for this one, is that everyone just starts.. warming around the stump and not caring like a bunch of jackasses not caring about their close friend, and in tom’s case, girlfriend’s feelings. Also tom and marco apparently stopped fighting just to be this stupid. 
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But naturally burning the symbolic stump is a bad idea and the real one attacks. Protip: If you live in a world of magical nonsense, maybe don’t discount the magic stump. Everyone’s captured, including moon and river, with River also being suprised and replying to Star’s annoyance at him not beliving with “Sweetie it’s a stump!”. Alan Tudyk is a god and I feel you all should acknowleddge that. But yeah everything seemsm to be bad but everyone apologizes, if not for the right things in Marco’s case, and Tom says “I’m sorry i’m a bad boyfriend!”. You .. you aren’t. You did nothing wrong. I feel like this is tom for the last agrivating 6 minutes of the episode
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He did SOME THINGS wrong but he is NOT a bad boyfriend. He is throughtful, kind and while he has flaws, SO DOES STAR. He is not a bad boyfriend for not wanting to repeat past abusive actions! GAH. Let’s just get on with it. They all hold hands, they thiunk this is what made the stump go away but Star is sure it was just going to kill them, Moon and River have a thousand yard stare as they realize they both have to get repairs for this room now and do an extra big stump day next year to make sure it dosen’t come back. And Marco apologizes to star.. for not beliving her. Not for forcing this on her, not for causing all of this, not at all to tom, but for not beliving her while star FUCKING APOLOGIZES TO HIM.  Pin removed, bullshit falling to the floor... Trunks if you would. 
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Thank you. Star DID NOTHING WRONG. Tom DID LESS WRONG THAN MARCO. WHY ARE THEY APOLOGIZING. Why is this little shithead getting everything he wants as the party happens after all, if a day later, and he gets to dance with star, while everyone else is painted as being in the wrong? That’s what makes this special so putrid: that MARCO is apparently in the right for doing the same , if on a smaller scale, manipulative shit tom used to do before he grew as a person, yet the episode sides with him, props him up and teases Starco. If it’s Starco it’s okay apparently and that’s.. not okay. You can’t .. build a ship on a character acting like a jackass. That’s not how this works. Marco was wrong, he was bad and he should FEEL bad. Instead he’s just a creepy jerk this entire episode, being entitled, manipulating star, screaming at tom.. and gets REWARDED FOR IT. Fuck this episode. 
FINAL THOUGHTS: I believe I said Fuck this episode.  This is easily one of star vs’ worst episode and much like the season after this episode it gets worse the more you think about it. I put it on my worst holiday episodes list for a reason.. and frankly even with the decent first 4 mintues it should be higher. It’s an unplesant mess that throughly ruins Marco’s character and takes him from a kind, upstanding, polite and bright young man to a creepy manpiulative jackasss. Fuck this episode and have a happy holidays. 
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thorne93 · 3 years
Text
History Repeats (Part 13)
Prompt: Life’s hard, right? Well throw in a not so great job, a broken heart, and chasing a pipe dream in LA. But could someone come along to make all the bad shit disappear? Or is he just another heartbreak waiting around the bend?
Warnings: language, drug addiction, alcohol addiction, angst/heartbreak, adult themes (??)
Word Count: 1964
Note: Aesthetic made by @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo because she’s absolutely amazing Beta’d by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo . Brainstorming from @carryonmyswansong​
**Song Inspiration: Sober - Pink; Forever is a long time - Halsey
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hayden spent all night feeling horrible about what he’d done, but he felt it was right. He barely slept, and now he didn’t know if he needed to find a new place. Not that that was the most important thing right now, but it was a factor he may have to deal with soon. 
You rolled out of bed and groggily went into the kitchen to make coffee. You were a bit surprised to find Hayden already there. 
“Uh, I made coffee,” he informed.
You nodded and went to grab a mug as he began talking from behind you. 
“So, I think we should talk about last night,” he started but you turned around. “I’m sorry, and I’ll start looking for a new place today--”
“No, it’s fine. I, um, I did some thinking,” you said, waving him off. “You.. you might be right. Maybe we did jump into this too fast. I’m not the type to do that at all. I think everything through, but maybe this time was different. I think you’re right. If we take a break and in a year, we still want each other and everything lines up, maybe we should talk then.” 
He gave you a sweet smile, nodding. “Yeah, I think that’s wise. I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to lead you on or anything.”
“You didn’t,” you assured with a shake of your head. “I’m fine, honestly. I think you should stay here. I mean, unless you’re too weird about it. I still love having you around and we can still be friends. There’s no point to put you out on the streets. We can still be friendly, right?” You grinned at him. 
You were telling the truth. 
It hurt like hell that he didn’t want you romantically right now, that he wanted to think you two were in some rebound phase. It wasn’t true for you, you knew this, but maybe it was for him. So you were willing to set up a time frame that might work for him. Give him an out. Not to mention, you didn’t want to lose him as friend. He did bring more light to your life than any boyfriend or friend ever had, and you didn’t want to lose that just because you broke up. 
Having Hayden in your life was more important than some stupid pride. 
“Yeah, yeah of course,’ he agreed, nodding. He stepped towards you and hugged you. “I completely agree. I’d love nothing more than to be friends.” 
His words made you sting. His touch made you feel as if you were on fire. But you ignored it all and put on a brave face.
----------------------------
The next several days were hard. You weren’t sure which were harder -- being at work at the hotel or the studio away from Hayden or being near him. Seeing him didn’t brighten your day like it used to. You thought it would. For some stupid, silly, naive reason, you thought you’sd still feel warm when you saw him, but you didn’t. All you could see was the man who didn’t want you.
Someone not wanting you was nothing new. Your old friends had stopped checking on you a long time ago, despite your efforts to reach back out to them. All you had now was Hayden and the new people in Trey’s.
But now you didn’t even have Hayden, not really. You tried to make sure things weren’t awkward and just go back to how they were before, but you couldn’t. How could you? How could you pretend you didn’t want to kiss him when he gave you that warm, fond smile? How could you not run your fingers through his hair when he came out of the shower, his hair still wet and looking absolutely hot and adorable? How could you not want to rest your feet in his lap while you two watched TV for a few free hours? How could you not want to cook and clean together and joke around, but then wrap your arms around his waist like always? 
No, life couldn’t return to normal for you with Hayden. That was just no longer an option, the ship had sailed long ago and there was nothing to do about it. 
What made it hurt all the more was that this was always how it happened. You thought everything was fine, you thought things were good and then suddenly, poof - the guy was gone. Were you just blind to signs? Were you just too clingy and guys could sense it and it sent them running? Did you just fall for everyone who was afraid of commitment? 
You should’ve seen this coming. He was with a woman for ten years, had a child with her, but never married her. If that isn’t a sign of a fear of commitment, you weren’t sure what was. 
The parties of Trey’s continued and you decided to frequent even more of them, trying to find any excuse not to be home. More parties meant more alcohol though and you decided to get drunk every night, but then you’d wean off of it, so by the time you got home, you were practically sober again. 
Feeling the thoughts of Hayden fade away with every sip of your drink was fantastic. You weren’t one to usually seek out the bottle in times of distress, but when in Rome… The parties, the company, the drinking -- it all took your mind of Hayden, and you desperately needed it. 
Eventually though, it wasn’t enough. 
The drinks weren’t enough to make you forget about him. He bled through. You were still crying over him at parties. 
One night, you were talking to Darren about it. He was your drummer after all and you’d spent a lot of time with him, became friends. You two were in a booth at a club, in the back corner, talking.
“I just… I just want him back,” you all but sobbed.
“Hey, hey,” he soothed, “use your heartache as a tool for your music, babe. All the best musicians do. Nothing sells more records than heartbreak. Let me tell ya.” 
You nodded. “You’re right, I should.” 
“Fuckin’ a, I’m right. But… if you’re that hung up on the guy, I can help you forget.” 
You frowned. “Forget… like?” 
He nodded before pulling out that white substance again. You felt uneasy about it. 
“Look, I’m right here. I won’t leave you all night. I’ll watch you take it and I’ll keep you safe,” he vowed. 
For some reason, those words, that promise to protect you, it was all you needed to trust him. Forgetting Hayden would be ideal. You’d never hurt this bad. All you did  was nod before he helped you. He poured a tiny amount on your hand, and instructed you on how to take in the substance. 
Once it hit your system, you felt funny. 
“Darren, I don’t feel so good,” you started, feeling extremely anxious.
He held onto you. “Hey, shh, shh, you’re okay. It’s fine. You’re fine. Just ride with it, love.” 
You nodded slowly and let the feelings wash over you naturally. That was all it took. The rest of the night you partied, you danced, you felt great. You weren’t thinking about Hayden at all, and it finally felt amazing to be free of all this heartbreak that had weighed you down. 
That was just the first night. 
Every night after work, you tried to find a party with Darren, or anyone in his circle and you asked for a hit. Hayden was your drug before, but now he was gone. Something had to replace him. 
The routine became the same, and you’d end up home, at the end of your high, with Hayden already in bed. He never saw you drunk, high, or anything other than straight laced heading into work, if that. 
One night though, shortly after you got your hit, you got sick to your stomach. Veronica, a mutual singer friend of Darren’s, offered to drive you home. You took her up on the offer because you were an odd mix of feeling as if you were invincible but also feeling as if you’d throw up. 
She got you home, found your keys, and got you inside. Hayden heard the commotion around 1 AM and came out ot see what was wrong. 
“Oh, hey,” Veronica greeted. “She’s kinda sick so… Who are you?” 
“I’m her roommate,” he said. 
“Ah, okay, cool. I’m gonna leave her in your capable hands then. Just wanted to make sure she got home safe.” She sat you in the chair at your dining room table and waved goodbye as she dropped your purse and key near the door. 
“Y/N? Are you okay?” Hayden asked as he came forward, he started to kneel in front of you but you jumped up. 
“No, not really,” you snapped while you got up. “My stomach hurts like a mother fucker. I need to lie down.” 
Hayden started to grab your shoulders so he could get a good look at you. “Hey, come here. Let me see you.”
“What? No, why? Get off me,” you ordered, wrenching away from him. 
But he got a good enough glimpse. He saw your dialated eyes and that’s all he needed. “Jesus, Y/N. Are you fucking high?” he demanded, angry. 
“Why do you fucking care?” you asked, walking around him. 
“Because I do,” he insisted. “What the hell are you doing? What are you thinking? This is really how you want to start your career? High?”
“Me being high and singing have nothing to do with each other. Last I checked, it’s not any of your fucking business what I’m doing,” you seethed as you got in his face. “It’s my life and you checked out of it a long time ago. If you were ever even in it.” 
“Of course I was in it! I supported all of your talent. I still do. I still think you can make something of yourself without having to be high as a kite to do it.” 
“You’re not my fucking parents,” you angrily reminded.
He retorted, just as angry, “I still give a fuck about you.”
“Yeah you made that very clear when you said you just wanted to be friends,” you snarled.
“What? Because we aren’t sleeping together, it means we don’t care about each other?” he asked, flabbergasted at your outrage. He was just trying to help you, trying to sort out what was going on with you, and you were so angry at him. 
“No, because you just up and left! Because we were perfect, we never fought, and then just like Jason and all of my other ex’s you just threw me away. I guess I’m only good enough to distract men, huh, just not actually commit to? Well, screw you, screw all of you. I’m good enough for Trey and that’s all I need.” 
“I never said any of that! I never said you weren’t good enough, I just said maybe we were rushing into things and I don’t want it to feel like a rebound.” 
You shook your head. “Call it whatever you want, but the bottom line is, you left!”
“So this is how you act? You get drunk every night and now you’re high. You’re never this reckless.”
“Well now I am! You know what? Fuck you, I don’t need this. I want you out. You have until tomorrow night to get the hell out. I don’t like having to answer to anyone in my own god damn home.”
“Y/N,” he stressed, sighing, exasperated.
You gave him a cold look before retreating into your room and closing the door to deal with your sick stomach.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Forever Tag:
@essie1876​​
@magpiegirl80​​
@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​​
@marvel-imagines-yes-please​​
@missinstantgratification​​
@thejemersoninferno​​
@rda1989​​
@munlis​​
@thefridgeismybestie​​
@bubblyanarocks3​​
@igiveupicantthinkofausername​​
@kaliforniacoastalteens​​
@feelmyroarrrr​​
@kaeling​​
@friendlyneighbourhoodweirdo​​
@damalseer​​
@heyitscam99​​
@yknott81​​
@sorryimacrapwriter​​
@glitterquadricorn​​
@bittersweetunicorm​​
@alyssaj23​​
@sea040561​​
@princess76179​​
@thisismysecrethappyplace​​
@sarahp879​​
@malfoysqueen14​​
@ellallheart​​
@breezy1415​​
@marvelmayo​​
@lyniboy​​
@paintballkid711​​
@pandacookieowo​​
@beiroviski​​
Hayden Christensen:
@coldlilheart​​
@haydens-moles​​
History Repeats:
@multifandomblog315​​
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hii, i wanted to ask a question about my bestie xx
i’ve typed her as an enfj bc she’s always seemed like a high Fe type to me and the enfj function stack and descriptions of them on various websites were describing her very well. me and her are very different “people-wise”: she always talks abt ppl behind their backs while maintaining friendly attitude talking WITH them, always compliments ppl to get something she wants(some of our teachers always loved her bc she knew how to get their love and trust); then me…i’m an isfp…totally opposite, i have only a few friends, i hate talking behind people’s back, never “sucked up” on anyone, including teachers(some of them still love me, but for different reasons), i can’t compliment people i don’t like(tbf, i can’t compliment AT ALL, very bad at words, unlike my friend) and etc. I also don’t like lying to people and friends, and she, on the other hand lies or manipulates her words quite a lot(sometimes it helps her getting what she wants tho, i must admit).
But i’ve noticed recently that she’s very secretive…like…really secretive. She never shows her true feelings or struggles to her friends(or me, at least, lmao)…We both keep our feelings inside, but I have high Fi and I thought this kind of way of dealing with emotions was kinda Fi-ish. Not that she shows her friends her fake emotions, but more like she deals with them on her own.
also, she’s very impulsive in terms of her interests? more than me sometimes(and i have aux Se)…she gets heavily invested, for example in her choice of her future career and has her future in this career all planned(what uni will she graduate, how successful she might be, how “cool” will she be, etc.) and she talks about it(her new interest/hobby or her career choice) so passionately, that you think “omg, she REALLY wants to be a therapist/marketing specialist/dentist/whatever”, and she seems really invested in it, but then she DROPS it…like, she suddenly “realizes” it’s not what she wants or that that profession isn’t as good/profitable as she thought. She also cancels plans last minute a lot. It can be her, who encourages and organises our friend group’s gathering, but then gets out of it last minute herself, sometimes trying to make really pathetic excuses(but sometimes they’re very well-thought, such as “my parents asked me to babysit my little siblings” so none of us could blame her for telling that she won’t go w us last minute). I’m not telling it’s always lies. I’m sure sometimes her parents really don’t allow her to go somewhere or ask to babysit, but why does she always tell us that last minute!? sometimes she does things for her own benefit, like she’d rather go out with a person who has a good camera(so they could take pics for her), rather than someone she’s closer to and will have better time with. she’s also very insecure deep down. me too, but i don’t want people’s approval as much as her. she’s always scared to gain weight or look bad to her boyfriend, even though he’s the nicest guy i’ve ever met and has always told her that she’s the most beautiful girl ever and he would love her no matter what. perhaps i could also describe her as “all talk, no actual actions” and it hurts me isfp ass very much :((
we also have a lot of passive aggression in our relationship, bc we’re both hate conflicts in some way, and sometimes supress our anger towards each other(i tend to sometimes burst out tho), so ig she’s more passive aggressive than me and never tells me what’s wrong, therefore i can never tell if i offended her or not. idk, maybe she thinks the sam abt me?
she’s not a bad person tho, she’s a good friend and we’ve been friends for a long time, but sometimes she acts very very strange and i’m not the only one who has noticed this.
maybe you could help me…from what i’ve described, does she seem enfj type 3(have difficulty telling what her wing is)? ty in advance ❤️
Based on this it sounds like you are both in your mid-teens, and so honestly I would just give it some time if you want to type her because while your personality certainly exists at this time, it’s very much in flux. A lot of this just sounds like she’s dealing with a lot of insecurity and expectations and it’s hard to say if it’s typology governing these actions or if it’s just like...being 16 or 17 (which is what I’ve assumed from this).
I’m not sure what her type is but here are a couple of things that might help you, and I will say that ENFJ doesn’t sound wrong given that assumed age. It could be - looking at ENFP or ESFP wouldn’t hurt - but a lot of her behaviors seem in line with high Fe and even with Ni I would expect a certain amount of impulsivity and indecision at her stage of development.
First, try to think about her in terms of who she is without comparing to yourself. I don’t know for sure if you’re an ISFP - you might be, or you might not be - so if you compare to yourself and you are mistyped then you’re working off an incorrect basis for comparison in the first place and that will make everything harder. Try to think how she compares to people you know in general - and especially your peers. Is she more impulsive than most of your classmates? Less? Around average?
Second, I have found the idea that high Fi users are more private and high Fe users are less private to be absolutely false; I think it is partly based on a Tumblr user who mistyped as an Fe user for a long time but then realized they were a high Fi user and was trying to make that fit and it’s persisted long past that. A lot of high Fi users, especially extroverted ones, are very expressive, and a lot of high Fe users can be private - Fe users are typically very attuned to what others think of them and so might keep their emotions on lockdown or hide them in order to elicit a certain response (Fe-dom 3s, for example, will absolutely do this). As a rule thinkers and introverts are more private with their emotions than feelers and extroverts but that’s about the extent of it.
And finally, and I tell most people this especially when they bring up not just a typology question but also some conflicts or personal difficulties; I get that you are asking me for help with MBTI, and that’s the main help I feel like I have any ability to give and I know unsolicited advice is often unwelcome so feel free to ignore, but: MBTI does not solve interpersonal (or intrapersonal) problems. It can be a very helpful and powerful tool, but knowing is only half the battle (or something). A person who knows literally nothing about MBTI but is an empathetic and thoughtful communicator who does not shy away from healthy confrontation will do better than a typology expert who lacks even one of those traits. If you want to know her type, review the first few paragraphs and see if that helps and feel free to revisit after some time, but if you want to like, know why she keeps flaking on you, then unfortunately getting over the fear of confrontation and potentially upsetting someone will be a far more effective use of time.
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coliverxxx · 3 years
Text
Titanic - Johnny/OC story
Summary: Johnny has never worked with someone who has said two pick-up lines on him in thirty minutes after they met him while working until her.
Pairings: Johnny x OC or Johnny x Reader or Johnny x She (whoever she is, really)
Genre: Friendship, Romance
Words: 5,876
Warnings: None, hopefully
A/N: First of all, the story has nothing to do with the infamous movie. It's just that I suck with titles. I wouldn't also call this angst but to anyone who's lighthearted, there is a bit of angst in here, okay? But I promise, things will be okay.
I was supposed to write 500 words yesterday because I just can't get over Johnny's long blonde hair. It does things to me. (I still haven't gotten over it.) But stories tend to write themselves and before I knew it, I have little less than 6,000 words all because of Johnny's long blonde hair. It's strange what inspirations can do. Initially, I wanted to convert this into a ship fic but then, I thought it's good as it is. At least for me, haha. (Might still do in the future though.)
Let's keep supporting NCT. Let's keep loving Johnny (I have this awful feeling that he deserves more love than he's getting I don't know) and the rest of the group. They received their first daesang recently, too. Congratulations, boys!
Titanic - Johnny/OC story
Johnny has never worked with her. It’s not to say that he’s bothered by her — he’s met people who are most troublesome, to say the least — but he has never worked with someone who is so obvious in their interest on him. He gets it. Not to be a dick but he knows he’s got good looks and a to-die-for body but no one in his professional years has said two pick-up lines on him in thirty minutes after they met him while working.
He arrives at the station with the other members that morning. Only a little after six which means it’s too early for him to be thinking too much about anything besides getting his makeup done for today’s performance. That’s why he’s more than surprised when the person putting foundation on his face says, “Titanic.”
He’s not sure if he’s being talked to because he’s pretty certain there’s this rule among the members and the staff that no talking is allowed before eight but when he looks at the makeup artist, she is looking back at him in all seriousness and Johnny just mutters “What?” even though he knows he heard her say ‘Titanic.’
“Sorry, bad icebreaker,” she solemnly says and continues on the foundation like nothing happened.
Johnny stares at her in the mirror because he can’t move while things are being put on his face. Then, he thinks about what she just said and oh.
Oh.
He laughs. Like loudly. Like something that shouldn’t be done when everyone is either on a state of half awake-half asleep, or entirely sleep walking through the morning.
He ignores the sharp glances from the other members and looks at her through the mirror again to see her looking back at him already with a grin playing on her face.
Johnny thinks none of that exchange. It’s still funny whenever he remembers it and when he tries explaining it to the other members when they asked him what’s so funny he had to drag their souls from sleep state forcibly but he thinks there’s nothing to do about it. Just a new makeup artist who is a little funny too early in the morning.
Then, he’s changing his clothes and there should be someone helping him but when he looks around, all the stylists are busy with the other members. He tries to look for someone and sees one of the staff just fixing their massive makeup boxes.
“Hello,” Johnny says. He just needs to know where the jacket he is supposed to be wearing is. The sleeveless top he is wearing isn’t exactly making him uncomfortable given that he’s been on stage with practically nothing but it’s winter and it’s cold. He’s human.
He immediately recognises her when she turns around and is about to apologise because even though he is desperate to find that jacket, he knows she’s a makeup artist. Not a stylist. He knows the line. He’s about to say so when she says, “Your name must be Adele.”
“What?”
“Because you had me at hello.’”
Johnny can’t help the smile that’s creeping on his lips that turns into a light chuckle until he is effectively laughing again. At barely seven in the morning. He shakes his head at her a little and proceeds to his original dialogue, “I was going to ask for my jacket but I don’t think you —“
“Here,” she answers, handing him out his jacket.
“Oh, great, thanks,” he says, a little surprised, immediately putting on the jacket with a light shiver. “Are you new here?”
“I only started today, yes,” she tells him.
“By the way, my name is not Adele. It’s Johnny,” he states with a smile.
He waits for her to respond but she just stares at him — you know, that stare that’s like stripping him without touching him — and for someone who he just met today, it’s a little awkward. He’s about to tell her that when she speaks.
“Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?”
Johnny can’t stop another smile, the initial awkwardness leaving him entirely, even though he answers, “Definitely just the sun.” He begins to walk away while shaking his head again at the exchange to change his shoes, murmuring, “That’s three strikes.”
He’s not bothered about it. It will take a whole lot more to bother him at this point of his career than harmless pick-up lines from their new makeup artist who does a pretty good job on their faces, by the way, and does nothing more than make Johnny smile or laugh whenever she tries another line on him.
They are pretty close with the rest of the staff, all of their managers, the stylists, and the other makeup artists, but she and Johnny had become quite of a duo. She never fails on a line on him whenever he is on at least five meters radius from her and it has become quite normal for everyone around them to heat her say something like “Are you my appendix? I don’t know what you do or how you work but I feel like I should take you out.” to Johnny.
He is not one to get flustered merely because of such lines. He will admit he likes hearing them though because some of her lines are funny, even weird. He would always laugh whenever she pulls a weird pick-up line on him.
“Did you just fart? Because you blow me away.”
Johnny’s laugh can literally be heard in the entire station.
“Do your lines ever work in real life?”
She looks a little confused before replying, “Who says this isn’t real?”
“Right,” Johnny says, shaking his head again but smiling.
He becomes quite used to her lines and her presence, looking forward to what cheesy or weird pick-up lines she picks for the day, that it’s stranger when she’s focused — too focused — on how she puts eyeshadow in Johnny’s eyes that she’s not speaking a word.
Johnny doesn’t know what to say though. Does he ask her why she’s not saying any lines on him like she used to before? Does that mean he’s looking forward to her lines now? Will that be appropriate between an idol and a makeup artist?
His makeup is finished before he can put an answer to any of his questions and she moves on to the next member in line, not saying a single word to Johnny. Much more a single pick-up line. Who knows pick-up lines can be missed?
The silence continues until the end of the schedule and he just can’t go home without saying anything to her.
He corners her on one of the changing room when she’s helping out the stylists clean after the stage costumes. It’s probably unfitting but Johnny just wants to ask, “Are you okay?”
Her expression looks depressed in a moment before it turns surprised until she’s finally smiling even though just barely. He still considers it a win when she answers, “I’m okay, Seo. Do you need anything?”
Johnny stares at her for a second before he answers. “Give me your phone.”
“What? Why?”
“Just give me your phone,” he demands, looking behind him because one of the managers are already calling everyone to pile out. They’re leaving ahead of the staff; they always do.
Even though she’s confused, she pulls her phone in her pocket and hands it to Johnny. She watches him warily as he fiddles with it for a minute before returning it to her.
“That’s my number,” Johnny states, as if it isn’t clear enough on the new contact saved on her phone. “If there’s anything that’s bothering you,” he continues, looking away because he has not rehearsed this part of the conversation. He only wants to ask if she’s okay. This isn’t planned at all. But now he has one of their makeup artists have his number. If that’s improper, it’s already done. “If you need someone to talk to, you can call me or message me, whatever suits you.”
She looks at the new contact saved on her phone: seo johnny. Then, she glances up at the said person in front of her who is looking at anything but her. She clutches her phone to her chest and slowly nods. “Okay,” she whispers, looking down at the floor with rosy cheeks.
Johnny turns around because they’re leaving. He hasn’t took five steps when his phone rings. It’s an unregistered number but he answers it anyway, having a good feeling about it.
He hasn’t said hello yet when he hears a familiar voice on the other end of the line and on the person standing five steps behind him.
“I have 1% battery remaining. I chose to call you. Did I choose wisely?”
Johnny turns around and meets her eyes. “I’m literally still here,” he says with a fond smile.
She smiles back. Then, her eyebrows knit together a little again and she sighs, “I’m fine, or I’ll be fine.” She chuckles at herself, looking at Johnny’s eyes again. “Whichever,” she continues, “but the bottomline is I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me, okay?”
He still looks concerned but nods anyway. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asks.
She bits her lip before smiling again. “See you tomorrow, Johnny.”
They are just leaving the building when his phone buzzes with a new message.
12:39 pm to: seo johnny from: xxxxx aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living? >///<
Johnny has to stop for a moment to refocus his thoughts because he can’t be laughing by himself after receiving a one-line message in public. But the moment he glances at his phone to read it again, his shoulder begin to shake anyway.
7:27 am to: seo johnny from: xxxxx help, i’m lost!
7:27 am from: seo johnny to: xxxxx where are you?
7:28 am to: seo johnny from: xxxxx i don’t know but can you give me directions to your heart? :)))
7:29 am from: seo johnny to: xxxxx i thought you are really lost!!! -_-
He says that but he’s smiling a lot for someone who wakes up before five in the morning. He looks outside of the car — there’s still no horrible traffic and the sun is barely peaking out — and instead of sleeping like he always does, he thinks of how many minutes more before he sees her as he types another message to send her.
Johnny finds in her a comfortable friendship. And in a job that is as stressful as the one he has, having a friend nearby — someone that isn’t one of his members who also share the exact same stress as him and thus he can’t bother at times — who makes him laugh and smile and feel good all the time is heaven’s gift.
“On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?” she asks, appearing beside Johnny, when the group arrives at the set of that day’s first schedule.
He smiles and answers. “I think 0. But you know that, don’t you? You guys’ll be with us until the evening for tonight’s show, right?”
She looks at him for a moment and nods with a long sigh, “Yeah, today’s packed.” Then, she pulls out some utensils behind her and continues, “That’s why I prepared food. I’ve got all these chopsticks, forks, and knives. All I need is a little spoon.”
Johnny barely stifles a chuckle. And before his mind can process his action, his hand is already on top of her head. It’s such a gentle gesture but not one that happened to them before now. So he can understand if she flinches a little when he reaches his hand to her hair but she does not. She holds her beaming smile as she pats her head.
One pat. Two pats.
He pulls back quickly when he realises he’s probably acting unprofessional again. Even though he probably should have thought about that, too, when he gives her his number.
An entire day of schedule with her around means more than twenty pick-up lines in just half of the day. She always seems to have one around whenever Johnny is in the same breathing vicinity as her.
“Can I follow you home? Because my parents always tell me to follow my dreams,” she says to Johnny when they’re packing up from their first schedule to go to the next.
“We’re not going home yet though,” Johnny replies, chuckling and shaking his head.
“Is your dad a terrorist?” she asks after she’s done with Johnny’s makeup retouch on the second schedule. “‘Cause you’re the bomb.”
Johnny isn’t one to be embarrassed or to shy away from compliments, as weird as they come, but he’s learning to because of her pick-up lines. Even the other members are beginning to tease him about it, repeating what they heard her say to him at home. The worse thing is he’s not bothered by them at all. Not her lines. Not even when his members repeat it on him to tease him. He actually feels good about it. He thinks there must be something wrong with him.
He hears Jaehyun snickering with Yuta when they heard what she said, too.
The last schedule is just wrapping up. It’s a photoshoot for a cosmetic brand. Johnny already finished his part and is just waiting for the other members. He notices her standing beside him a few minutes ago, waiting for another pick-up line, but she hasn’t said a word.
He glances at her after a moment but she’s already looking at him.
“There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can’t take them off you.”
Johnny doesn’t know if it’s the light or the music that they’re playing on the set but the air is different that night, that time, that moment. When she says that, he thinks he can hear his heart thumping loudly, threatening to jump out of his chest. He has to force a laugh because he’s afraid she will hear how loud his heart is.
She doesn’t look away, not even when he laughs at her because he doesn’t know what to say. And Johnny can’t look away because she’s looking at him like she’s saying not just a pick-up line but what she truly thinks.
After what seems to be twenty-seven years of gazing at each other even though in reality, it’s only a minute at most, someone yells “Cut!” Every light opens and Johnny blinks, looking around them like he’s been caught doing something illegal, or improper. He lets out a deep breath he doesn’t know he’s holding and looks back at her.
She’s still looking at him. Then, she smiles at him for a moment before she turns to the members who just finished their shot, bowing at the photographers and director. “I’ll help them pack up,” she tells him, looking at him again.
“Oh, okay,” Johnny says, nodding.
But she doesn’t leave yet. She stands there for a second and says, “They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.”
The lights have been changed and the music has already been shut. That’s why Johnny can’t understand what’s still different that he needs to remind himself to breathe after she walks away, leaving him there with a catapulting heart.
Those are still the same pick-up lines, aren’t they?
He has always been worried about Doyoung’s perceptive ability and his inability to keep his observations to himself but he doesn’t think he’ll receive the short stick of it until he does.
He can’t quite remember how the conversation begins — like most things that happen in our life that we want to forget. It just happens uncontrollably and goes out of hand in a split second. He just remembers talking to the other members until the conversation begins to get redirected, or misdirected to Johnny’s friendship with her.
“I think she likes you,” Doyoung states, yes, states, because there is no hesitation in his tone over what he is saying, “and you like her back.”
“What?” Johnny laughs, trying to keep his nerves in tact. “We’re just friends.”
“Really?” Doyoung raises a brow at him and even when he says that, it doesn’t sound like he’s confirming his thoughts but that he wants Johnny to confirm his.
He looks at the other members and sees them all waiting for his answer, expecting his answer. Then, before he can think it further, he laughs again and replies, “Really. As if I would date a makeup artist.”
Johnny expects arguments because even he wants to hit himself after he says that. He doesn’t know why he said that. There’s definitely nothing wrong if he falls in love with a bus driver, a bartender, or a makeup artist. He knows that but he’s nervous as hell because he thinks he’s going to get found out over something he’s not quite ready to admit to himself.
It’s been a lingering question ever since that time he feared his heart will escape from his chest. Does he really like her like that? Does he really like her as more than a friend? His makeup artist? Is that even appropriate?
But then, he hears nothing and as he searches for anything from the faces of the other members, he realises they are not looking at him but behind him.
Johnny turns to look behind him on the exact moment she’s turning around. He wishes he looked back a second later so he could have missed the way her eyes looks.
Hurt is an understatement.
Awkwardness is also putting is simply. Everyone has become used to their dynamics and when it suddenly stops, it’s like there’s something missing in the air. There are no corny or sweet or weird pick-up lines being said here and there. Johnny’s not laughing every time something is said to him, no matter if it’s honestly romantic or strange.
There are no messages like: Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got fine written all over you.
He thinks he misses the pick-up lines but he knows he misses her. Just her. Not the lines but the way her hand ghosts over his face carefully whenever he’s doing his makeup, the way she smiles whenever Johnny would laugh at her lines, or simply just stand there beside him if she could.
But he doesn’t know what to do about it. It doesn’t help that on their next schedule, a different makeup artist stands in front of him, holding up a brush.
Naturally, Johnny asks for her. Because she’s part of the staff. She’s been doing his makeup for months now. He also knows she’s professional. She even did his makeup retouch that time, when she heard Johnny, and she did it flawlessly even though she wouldn’t look at Johnny more than what’s necessary and she didn’t say a word throughout.
“She’s taking a day off,” the makeup artist who’s been with them longer answers, not even meeting Johnny’s eyes as she says so.
“Why?”
“I don’t know,” she simply shrugs and proceeds on Johnny’s makeup.
They said she’s taking a day off but when she doesn’t come for a week-long schedule abroad, Johnny can’t take it anymore. He walks up to one of their managers and ask if she already quit or something.
“She didn’t,” he just tells Johnny.
He is close to demanding “Then, why isn’t she here?” but he swallows it inside him because what’s it to him anyway? Can he even call them friends after what he said? Because he’s pretty sure what he said can also be translated to “As if I would be friends with a makeup artist.”
He’s obviously not in the mood because Jaehyun approaches him and says, “She’s watching her sister in the hospital.”
He doesn’t even deny it anymore. That he’s thinking about her. That he’s only been thinking about her. That when they say she, it just means her. “How did you know about it? Did she talk to you?”
“No,” Jaehyun shakes his head, sitting beside Johnny. “I heard from one of our stylists.”
“What happened to her sister?”
“They said it’s cancer.”
Johnny’s mouth drops. “Jaehyun, don’t —“
“I’m not one to joke around someone’s sick sister, Johnny,” the other immediately says, sighing. “Remember that time she looks so down and won’t say anything? I think it’s when they found out about it. She probably didn’t come this time because,” Jaehyun stops and Johnny understands. He doesn’t want to say it.
He stares at his phone. Should he call her? Will she answer? Is it the right time to bother her? She already has so much to think about. She doesn’t have time to think about Johnny.
Or that’s what Johnny thinks as he puts down his phone and firmly closes his eyes, no hint of sleep in his veins. He doesn’t want to bother. He doesn’t want to put more in her plate. But he wants to know if she’s okay. He wants to make sure that she’s okay.
11:11 pm from: seo johnny to: xxxxx if you were a booger, i’d pick you.
Johnny stares at the message. He deletes it, then types it again. He deletes it, and then he types it again. It takes him about four more retypes until he forces his finger to just send it. Then, he wants to undo it but it’s already been sent and he thinks he might have lost his one chance of making things okay between them again.
He dumps his head on his pillow and screams, fortunately not waking up Mark who has been assigned his roommate for the entire week. He glances at the younger on the other side of the room sleeping soundly while he messes up again in the middle of the night. Who does that? Only Johnny Seo.
It takes him more courage to look at his phone again and the conversation it is opened to than the first time he tried bungee jumping.
The message isn’t read yet.
He falls asleep staring at his opened conversation with the last message still unread.
He wakes up to his alarm and the moment consciousness hits him, he sits up on the bed and opens his message conversation with her again. It’s already read at 4:19 am but there’s no response.
He’s contemplating if he should send another message. What will he say? The pick-up line didn’t work. Not that it’s a good pick-up line but he figures it might make her laugh, or even just smile. He wonders if she’s smiling enough these days, with her sister in the hospital and Johnny hurting her like that.
Johnny sighs, sinking himself on the bed again and holding the phone against his chest. Six more days and he’ll definitely see her again. Then, he’ll talk to her, apologise, ask how she is, make sure she’s eating alright even though she’s staying at the hospital. Six more days.
The first three days drag long and the fourth would have, too, if his phone doesn’t buzz on a familiar but one that he hasn’t heard for a little too long assigned tone.
11:22 am to: seo johnny from: xxxxx that’s a really bad one, seo.
Johnny’s eyes widen and he reads her message over and over again and there are so many things he wants to say. Is she okay? How’s her sister? Is someone staying at the hospital with her? Is she still mad at him? Will she forgive him?
11:24 am from: seo johnny to: xxxxx how’s your sister?
11:30 am to: seo johnny from: xxxxx she’s fine.
He wants to call her. He wants to hear her voice but he wants to give her time. He knows she’s thinking of her sister the most and he doesn’t want to take that away from her. He’s thankful enough that she didn’t completely ignore him.
11:31 am from: seo johnny to: xxxxx can i visit when we come back?
11:31 am to: seo johnny from: xxxxx you know you can’t.
That’s true. It’s part of his predicament. It’s part of the job.
11:32 am from: seo johnny to: xxxxx i’m going to tell the company someone called.
11:34 am to: seo johnny from: xxxxx what? who?
11:35 am from: seo johnny to: xxxxx cupid called. he wants to tell you that he needs my heart back.
He stares at his phone for about ten minutes until they are being called to shoot the next segment, waiting for her reply. He dives to his phone the moment they finished shooting but there’s no reply yet. It’s read though.
The next few days are frustrating not because Johnny doesn’t enjoy what he does but because even though he does, he wants them to be over so he can go home.
He honestly doesn’t think he can pull it off.
He confesses to Taeyong and their leader helps him talk to their manager who helps him get to the hospital in a time when literally no one is there besides the doctors and the nurses.
Johnny stands outside the door that’s supposed to be her sister’s room, fidgeting. It’s around two in the morning. He has about two hours until he needs to go home if he doesn’t want to be late for their morning schedule and get him, Taeyong, and their manager in deep trouble. He takes a deep breath, puts his hand against the door, and is about knock when it opens on him.
She’s rubbing her eyes sleepily but they widen in full alertness when she sees who’s standing by the door.
“Johnny? What are you doing here?” she asks, poking her head out of the door to check at the hallway if someone catches an idol in front of her sister’s hospital room. She immediately pulls him inside, worried that someone will see him. “What are you doing here?” she questions him again when they’re already inside the closed door.
“I told you. I’m visiting,” he casually answers. “How’s your sister?” Johnny asks, looking past her to the woman lying on the bed, asleep, looking a lot like her but thinner, paler, and walks towards her sister.
She looks like she’s about to question his intentions again for a second but then, she sighs, and follows Johnny to her sister. “She’s fine,” she answers but her voice sounds as fragile as the patient.
He looks at her and notices dark bags under her eyes. He gently lifts his arm and brings the back of his hand to the skin under her eyes. “How are you?” he asks her this time.
She doesn’t flinch. She doesn’t move away. And Johnny doesn’t know what he’d do if she does any of those things. She just stands where her feet are and stares at him, searching for something. “I’m fine,” she finally says after a moment.
“Will you come to work anytime soon?”
“Did you come here to ask me to come to work?”
“No,” Johnny answers, shaking his head slowly. “I miss you.”
She takes a deep breath and just looks at him, like she’s looking for something beyond his brown eyes. He realises what she’s looking for and he can’t blame her after what he said. He realises he wants to make it right with her. He has to make it right with her.
“I was nervous,” he admits.
“What?”
“When they were asking me how I feel about you, I was nervous because I was pretty sure I was already falling in love with you but I didn’t know what to do about it. I said that and regretted it just as soon as it came out of my mouth. Even before I saw how hurt your eyes were when I found out you were behind me and you heard it. Because I’d fall in love with you whether you’re a bus driver, a bartender, or a makeup artist. I’d still fall in love with you.”
She opens her mouth to say something and then closes it again. She looks at Johnny for about ten years, or that’s what he feels under her gaze, before she speaks again. “Did you rehearse that?”
“Yes,” he confesses sheepishly. “I had to explain to Taeyong and to our manager everything. They need to understand what’s at stake here.”
“I can’t believe you told everyone you’re in love with me first before me,” she says, walking towards Johnny.
“No, I’m sure I told you first,” he argues, meeting her halfway.
“When?”
“When I said even if you’re a booger, I’d still pick you.”
She laughs, the laugh Johnny misses so much. The laugh Jonny loves to hear so much. “That’s not what you said,” she tells him, still laughing.
“It’s what I meant!” he says, wrapping his arms around her and when she wraps back her arms on his waist, he realises this is it. This is what he’s supposed to be feeling, light and happy and in love with her. He places a kiss on top of her head and mutters, “I’m sorry I was dumb and slow.”
She shakes his head and pulls him closer. “We’re both dumb and slow,” she whispers. “I should have told you I love you the first time I saw you.”
He pulls away, a little horrified in a good way and laughing. “Are you serious?”
“Why do you think I said all those pick-up lines to you the first time we met?”
Johnny visits her sister in the hospital as often as his schedule will allow it. She slowly comes back to work, too, one schedule at a time in the beginning to continue looking after her sister and fully when they find a donor for her sister. When she tells him over the phone that they found a donor at around twelve in the midnight, Johnny runs to the hospital just to hug her.
She tells him he shouldn’t have come over because she knows they have early schedule the following day but the way she clutches to his clothes when he hugs her — shaking because she’s so happy her sister is going to live that she doesn’t know how to put it into simple words — tells him he made the right decision to come.
He wants to share her happiness with her. He wants to share her worries, too. He wonders if that’s what love means.
His makeup is just about done. He’s already in his stage outfit but he comes back around and around to the mirrors where she’s still doing the makeup of the other members, checking himself over and over again.
“Hyung, you’re blocking the mirror!” Donghyuck exasperatedly complains at him the sixth time he comes back.
Johnny turns to look at the youngest and then at her who is still doing Donghyuck’s makeup, raising a brow at him as if she’s asking him what he is doing. He shrugs, biting his bottom lip, and walks away but not before saying, “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I pass by again?”
“Oh my god,” Taeil mutters from the seat beside Donghyuck, covering his face in embarrassment because it seems like Johnny can’f feel any.
But she smiles although she’s still completely focused Donghyuck’s face and Johnny considers it a win.
After the performance, he finds her putting the makeup pieces on the huge makeup box one by one, carefully, like each will break. He loves how much effort she puts in her job. He silently sits beside her and does the same after making sure that he’s already out of his stage costume and ready to go when they are called.
“Kiss me if I’m wrong but dinosaurs still exist, right?” Johnny suddenly asks.
Jungwoo who is within hearing distance hears it and gushes like he’s watching a romantic drama live while Jaehyun who is also within hearing distance loudly gags. “Someone stop Johnny please,” he mutters, faking another series of gags and walking away in distress.
She laughs at Jaehyun before turning to look at Johnny with a raised brow.
“I’m wrong, right?”
She shakes her head at him as well, still laughing. They have finished arranging the makeup in the makeup box and she stands up, him following after her. “Yes, you’re wrong, but there’s no consensual agreement over a kiss,” she tells him, walking past Johnny with a pat on his shoulder.
“Agreements are unnecessary with pick-up lines!”
They are just about to leave — everything’s already packed up and everyone’s already piling out of their waiting room. Actually, Johnny and the other members should have left earlier but they didn’t have any schedule after so they waited for the staff to have dinner together.
She looks around, checking if they left anything.
Then, her eyes land on the person in front of her. Johnny Seo.
She smiles at him, wondering what he’s thinking this time, standing and quiet like that. He has definitely not been quiet the entire day.
“If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?”
They are in the middle of the room. Everyone is busy looking after things that they could have left but everyone turns silent when he says that. He doesn’t know if it’s weird fate or bad luck.
“Is that you asking her to be your girlfriend?” Doyoung asks with a tsk.
“Can't you just ask her that?” one of their stylists follows.
“And what do you mean will she be your ‘nothing,' hyung?” Mark questions, too.
“I know, right?” Jaehyun chimes. “Is that supposed to be positive?"
“What’s ‘nothing'?” Donghyuck confusedly asks, saying the word in question in English in an odd way of pronouncing.
“What’s so difficult with ‘Will you be my girlfriend?’” one of the other makeup artists shrugs.
Johnny’s face is burning and he could have answered all of their questions with “you know nothing” but his eyes are focused on her who is laughing her heart out at Johnny and his pick-up line proposal and at everyone for putting their cents in.
“Pick-up lines don’t work,” one of their managers says, shaking his head.
But she’s walking towards him and wrapping her arms on his neck and that would have been more romantic if they aren’t surrounded by people doubting and judging Johnny’s perfect proposal for her but it’s them and it’s enough and Johnny loves every bit of the moment. From the way she holds his neck towards him to the way she places a kiss on his cheek and softly answers, “Yes.”
Then, she pulls away a little to wink at him and adds, “Pick-up lines do work, right, John?”
Johnny grins and tightly hugs her, revelling on her scent and her warmth and everything her. “Of course they do, babe.” Then, he glances back at their manager and coyly asks, “Who hurt you, hyung?"
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irwinkitten · 4 years
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you can’t stop | a.i
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notes: so this was an idea that came up when i first started screaming to @spicycal​ about broadway!ash and then i spiralled because i started listening to the hairspray soundtrack and said the magical words ‘my head has got ashton playing link in hairspray and my mind won't shut!! up!!' and honestly it was one of the first things i started screaming at sarah about and it’s how we became friends because we’re musical nerds (read: clowns) and this idea wouldn’t leave me alone thus this was born. (also there is a part two in the works!) pairing: broadway!ash x plus sized female!reader warnings: a few swears but that’s it? word count: 2.3k
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When you stepped into rehearsals on the first day, it took some time to fully register that you were the leading lady of the show and not just a background character. You knew that today was all about breaking the ice, so to speak. 
You knew that over the years, your sense of humour had developed because of the kids you’d grown up with, the people who still made you feel uncomfortable about your weight, and you had turned it back on them.
So when they got to you, you grinned as you gave them your name and who you were playing.
“Don’t know if the extra weight gave it away, but I’m playing Tracey Turnblad. This is my first time as a lead character and the only way I break ice is by jumping on it.” It took a full second before the other actors started laughing, the director wearing a short grin as the atmosphere relaxed.
It was certainly more easier on your nerves than you’d anticipated because everyone had laughed and you let out a breath you hadn’t realised you’d been holding as the others introduced themselves.
And then your eyes fell onto the final person.
“My name’s Ashton, feel free to call me Ash. Can you guess who I’m going to be playing? Although, unlike our leading lady, it could be a difficult guess.” And for the first time in your career, you wanted to punch that stupid self satisfied smug look off his face. 
A few people tittered nervously, but you just snorted in response. You’d heard worse from directors.
‘You only have to deal with him for the next two years.’ You told yourself firmly. 
The first ten weeks were rehearsals. Normally it would’ve been six weeks, but since it was an entirely new cast, the producer had opted for the extra time to help the cast bond since this show run was going to be two years to start with. Opening night was far enough away that you could surprise your family, since you’d kept this job quiet from them.
As you began the warm ups, the director—who had introduced himself as Evan—moved you front and centre. 
“Right, I want to start off with your vocal range. We’ll have other duets fall in as we change the songs but keep it to mostly your songs before we move to ensemble. Once we know the ranges of you lot, our lovely composer Brian,” he waved out to the man who was leaning against one of the walled mirrors in the studio, “will be able to figure out if we need to change any songs.”
It wasn’t so much as brutal, but it put you through your paces. You realised quickly that this was certainly going to be a welcome challenge for you.
Ashton remained smug throughout his parts and it took everything in you to not slap the silly smirk off his face when it got to your duets. But you resisted, matching him pace for pace which surprised him.
When the first break hit, you were feeling warm as you took some water and the actress playing Maybelle—Jace—stepped up to you, braids piled up on her head as she lifted her water bottle in a toast to you. 
“So, first time being the leading lady, huh?” And you smiled. 
“I’ve been working as just an ensemble cast member for the last few years. I jumped at the chance for the audition with Evan and when I got the call back, I knew it was gonna be what I needed.” You shared a grin with Jace. 
A few other cast members came up to you. It was when the one who was playing Amber bounced over, her blonde hair tied back in a high ponytail, bouncing with her movements. 
It took you a second to remember her name was Cassie. 
“So you’re going to be my enemy for the foreseeable future.” Her tone was teasing, the grin on her lips disarming you for a second. 
“I mean, I guess?” You felt confused and she grinned. 
“Reckon we can be friends?” This had you relaxing instantly. 
“Don’t see the harm in that. And maybe when you’re in character you can teach Irwin good manners.” Cassie laughed as she slung her arm across your shoulders and looped her other with Jace’s 
“That man might be a good actor but if you get him to learn some good manners I think the gods would bless you.” 
When the day finished, both Cassie and Jace were convincing you to come out with them for drinks. And despite the hesitation, you couldn’t say no to their pleading faces.
“Is your place close by?” Cassie finally asked and you could feel a smile settle on your lips. 
“If you’ve already got stuff to change into, we can get ready at my apartment?” The offer was met with an immediate agreement, both girls split from you and began inviting others to the night out. 
You’d made fast friends with both of them by the time you were dressed up with a splash of makeup on. As the three of you left, it felt nice as you laughed at Cassie’s imitation of Ashton. 
“Hi, I’m Ashton Irwin and I’m a cocky son of a bitch who doesn’t like meeting new people.” Her tone and pitch had the two of you cracking up as you waited for the lift. When Cassie had pitched the invite to him, he’d rolled his eyes and told her that he had better plans. It certainly hadn’t endeared him to her with that.
It took barely ten minutes but by the time you reached the club where a lot of the cast were waiting, excitement began to ooze through your body. 
“First round of shots are on me!” You called out to the group, earning excited yells as you all headed in. 
With Cassie’s help—since she knew how many people there were—you got the order in and toasted to the lot of them. 
“May these runs lead up to incredible shows!” With the shot knocked back, Jace was quick to pull you to the floor, the music loud as the two of you danced the night away with the rest of the cast members.
You were furious. Beyond furious with Ashton.
He’d crossed a line. To embarrass you in such a way in front of so many directors, it hurt. 
When you got to rehearsals the following morning, your anger hadn’t abated. Jace wisely kept her own counsel as you changed into what you’d dubbed as your rehearsal outfit. Loose fitted tee-shirt and black leggings. 
“You realise that it’s final scenes today?” Jace had quietly commented, her eyes concerned and you could feel your temper bubble. 
“I can be civil with him when we’re on stage. But off stage? All bets are off.” You snapped, slamming your locker shut and making your way through. She fell silent, casting a worried glance with Cassie before they headed onto the stage.
You hadn’t even made it to the stage when a hand grasped your shoulder, pulling you deeper into the wings of the stage, further away from your castmates. Your fury ignited at the audacity of Ashton.
“Look, about last night-” he started, his voice quiet.
“Don’t you fucking dare, Irwin.” You snapped back, cutting him off as you yanked your arm free from his grip. His shock at your reaction stunned him silent. 
“What? Nothing to say to me? Nothing to say to me after you embarrassed me in front of every big fucking name in the industry? Nothing to say to me after saying that my family shouldn’t bother for opening night since I’m going to mess it up?” You didn’t bother keeping your voice down. The director knew you and Ashton didn’t get along well, but you were able to work with him. 
“I just wanted to say-” He tried again but you cut him off.
“You wanted to say what, exactly? That you’re sorry? I don’t want your fucking apology. It’s worthless. You could be the king of fucking england and I still won’t give you my time or attention anymore, unless it’s directly related to work. Now back off.” You snapped, pulling away completely and leaving him stunned.
“Ooo, do we need to be having words?” Cassie teased and you took in a slow deep breath, pushing down your anger towards him so you wouldn’t snap at Cassie. You knew she meant well she always did, but you were still too angry, too hurt to not take it the wrong way.
Evan gave you a lasting look, tapping his fingers on the script. 
“Dance rehearsal today. We’ll work on the scenes later and tomorrow.” He announced, earning groans from the ensemble. Ashton slipped onto the stage quietly. 
You threw Evan a grateful look and he simply nodded as he clapped his hands.
“Chop chop, we don’t have all day for this. We’ll go from where the girls are fighting to be seen on camera.” As the cast rearranged themselves, you stepped over to the corner from where you’d come down. Cassie winked at you and you offered her a weak grin. 
“From the top!” 
-
After you’d yelled at him, Ashton had done his best to keep out of your way before opening night. But on opening night you knew you had to call a truce. 
Knocking on his dressing room door, you waited quietly before you heard him knock something over in his haste to get to the door.
As he pulled it open, his eyes widened in shock to find you standing there in front of him.
“Can I come in?” Your voice was quiet and it took him a moment before he nodded and stepped back, letting you in before closing the door behind you. You had to try and ignore the fact that he was half dressed, his shirt clearly hanging from the back of the chair.
He offered the small couch that was in the corner of his dressing room, pulling the chair over to sit in front of you and suddenly you felt your courage and words disappear.
“So, did you need something?” His voice was hesitant, and you couldn’t exactly blame him for that. Ever since you’d verbally smacked him down before rehearsal, he’d done his best to avoid pissing you off outside of rehearsal. 
His question pulled you back to that moment and you felt your courage return, taking a slow deep breath.
“I’m calling a truce between us. Or at least, a truce between my attitude and yourself.” Although you’d been well in the right to be so angry with him and continue the treatment, he’d done everything he could to change that before backing off.
His jaw dropped at your words, sucking in a sharp breath as he processed your words.
“I-uh, don’t know what to say to that except, thanks, I guess?” You snorted at that.
“I’ve been so furious with you for what you did. You embarrassed me and made me look like some kind of pity pick. After working Broadway for years, do you know how much that hurt me? Hurt my career? ” His face flushed in shame as his gaze dropped to his hands that were resting in his lap.
“I hadn’t even considered...” He trailed off and you scoffed.
“Of course you didn’t. You’re the popular kid. The one people fight over to have on their team. You don’t need to consider other people’s feelings because everyone tries to cater for you.” You couldn't help the bitterness slip out with your words and his eyes lifted to meet yours.
“I really fucked up.” 
“That’s putting it lightly, Ashton. You single handedly nearly destroyed my entire career with those words. Evan had to tell me that he’d had calls from other casting directors who had other names to replace me if he needed it.” You could see that the message was sinking in for Ashton, the guilt etched into his face mixed with a look of horror.
“I’m so sorry, I- I never even realised-” You cut him off.
“The damage is done. Thankfully Evan managed to put them off from that and invited them to the opening night of the show. If we pull this off we could be working together for a lot longer than the two years we’re scheduled to.” A wry smile crossed your lips. “So don’t fuck this up tonight.” 
Ashton stared at you for a solid ten seconds before he started laughing. 
“You’ve got it, doll. How about we start over?” He held his hand out to you and you took a second before grasping his hand. He surprised you by bringing the back of your hand to his lips and without even realising, you’d rolled your eyes at his theatrics.
“It’s one thing to start over with me, but I think you need to start over with the rest of the cast too. Cassie is still fully prepared to scalp you for doing what you did.” He winced at that before letting your hand go.
“I guess I owe it to you and them to start over, don’t I?” You nodded at his words, watching as he ran a hand through his hair. 
“I know that everyone has their families in for the opening night and they’re going to want to celebrate this success with them. How about you start with the rehearsal tomorrow and see how that goes?” He nodded at that.
“I think I might just do that. And for what it’s worth, I truly am sorry for what I did and said.” Your eyes studied his face and you let the corner of your lips tug just a little bit.
“I know.” You leaned forwards and kissed his cheek before heading out, leaving him speechless.
-
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