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unpufblandito · 5 months

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Beware the nice ones.

(aka, Aziraphale is much more nuanced than your regular angel)

Some time ago I began to write about Aziraphale, with the light heart and the blissful ignorance of those who think: finally, a post that won’t be too long. It can’t be that hard analyzing our angel. Like a sweet summer child, I knew nothing because… oh, how wrong I was.

Age does not wither, nor custom stale his infinite variety and, since we also have to add the infinite variety of Michael Sheen’s microexpressions, the result is a character that, more than anyone else, turns out to be full of nuances and contradictions.

So, let’s start with the basics.

Angelcore. With his curly little... and his neat white... Aziraphale owns the angelic aesthetic. The infamous dichotomy on which the entire system is based, whereby angels are intrinsically good and demons are intrinsically evil, is blatantly reflected in their appearance. This is a very common bullshit cliché, according to which the supposed good guys usually dress in white, better with gold details, and the supposed bad guys usually dress in black, better with red details. (Interestingly enough, the Metatron is dressed in dark colors.) White robes symbolize innocence and purity in the classic imagery and gold reminds the sun, so they are both connected to an idea of light, goodness and divinity. And Heaven likes its aesthetic. Aziraphale's appearance is a reflection of his angelic status, especially before the beginning, in the Garden of Eden and in the early flashbacks. Between the hair, the robes and the fluffy wings of a white swan, he looks indeed like an angel. But does he act like one?

Breaking the rules. Aziraphale on his own initiative gives the flaming sword to Adam and Eve, showing a spark of rebellion in direct contrast to his angelic nature since from the beginning. Furthermore, his first gift to humanity is a weapon.

“I gave it away”

“You 😍 what 😍?”

“I gave it away!”

Aziraphale needs the reassurance to have done the right thing as an angel. The truth is that he has gone completely unleashed: he’s seen Adam and Eve in distress, he has thought they might need a weapon for protection and so he’s given them the flaming sword. Aziraphale has done the right thing for Adam, Eve and for the future of humanity, not because of his angelic nature, but because he used his own heart and brain. Defying Heaven is literally the first thing that we see him doing in the series.

Crowley is amazed by Aziraphale, whose behavior has its roots in a desire to protect, but it’s also a sign of independence and an affirmation of personality. Something you wouldn’t expect from a dutiful angel. Of course Crowley is attracted to him. And Aziraphale, in addition to having broken the rules, absentmindedly starts giggling with the serpent of Eden, before reminding himself that perhaps he should calm down and tone down the flirting. If Heaven should see them "it wouldn't be funny at all".

The cute one. Sometimes you might just look at Aziraphale and think he's the last ray of sunshine in this wretched world. When Aziraphale is on Earth, far away from the other angels, he’s more free to be himself. And he’s just adorable. Whether he's performing his magic trick with Harry the Rabbit, or pretending to be a very convincing reporter in a slightly too big trench coat, Aziraphale is the literal definition of cutie. He’s a little bit awkward and silly and enjoys his earthly interests with a contagious enthusiasm.

To increase the aura of sweetness that surrounds this character, Aziraphale is a creature of habit. He never changes hairstyle, his clothes are long out of fashion, worn out, but very well loved. And his natural environment - the bookshop - is as cozy as it gets, with its extensive book collection, antique furniture, warm lights, comfy chairs… and the walls of the color of a certain demon's eyes. Just the perfect place to read or listen classical music.

Even Aziraphale's way of speaking is cute and a bit outdated. But not all about our angel is jolly good and tickety-boo.

The bitchy one (affectionate). See? This is what I was talking about. Despite being indoctrinated into the black/white Heaven’s dichotomy, Aziraphale’s character lives in nuances and contradictions, in a very human way. Aziraphale can be the sweetest softie one moment and that bitch (affectionate) a moment later. He exudes a lot of sassy energy: he hAS sTanDaRDs, he asks Michael for a bath towel, he pettily pretends to be super busy because he wants Crowley to do the apology dance. He looks around, proud of himself, every time he says the word “ineffable”. You can add on to the list. And let's not forget the iconic eyebrow raise™ when Shax dare to speculate that he might not be Crowley's type.

It doesn't end here. Demons lie, that's what they do. But they are a bunch of amateurs compared to Aziraphale, who. Lies. All. The. Time. He began his career by lying to God about the loss of the flaming sword, went on lying to the angels about Job's children, lied to both the angels and Crowley about the whereabouts of the Antichrist, and lied to the angels about Gabriel. Is he a good liar? Not at all. (The only exception may be the body swap.) He usually looks around, hesitates and stammers nervously. It would be easy enough to call him out, but angels don't read reactions well and Crowley trusts Aziraphale. Most of his lies are told with good intentions, nevertheless thou shalt not lie seems to slide over Aziraphale like ducks on the water and honestly? Good for him.

Angel in distress. (but not really) Let's move from the lies to this sort of charade. Am I implying that our angel likes to play the role of damsel in distress in order to be saved by his demon in shining armor and thus have a plausible excuse to go out for a date?

Well... yes.

Crêpes are delicious, and Aziraphale may be naïve at times, but not up to this point. If he gets locked in the Bastille in the middle of the Revolution, all dolled up, and risks discorporation for the fear of *gasp* getting a rude note, he must have a really good reason. And the reason isn't (just) the crêpes. In both the Bastille and in the 1941 flashbacks - I wrote about 1941 here and here - Crowley gets the chance to appear as a hero and to save his angel. And in both cases the day ends with them finding a way to spend even more time together. In season two, Aziraphale admits that he knows how much Crowley enjoys saving him. It’s true, but it's equally true that Aziraphale loves to be saved by him. It's one of those things they don't talk about, but they are both into this little game.

The shelter. Let's put aside the lies and charades and let’s focus on the essence of Aziraphale's character. He is a protector. As an angel and therefore a being of love, we could say this is a requirement of the job, but it’s actually part of his own personality. Starting with Adam and Eve, continuing with Jimbriel, up to Nina and Maggie in the battle in the bookshop, Aziraphale has a strong desire to help those in need. Sometimes even too much: his final decision - although condemned from the start by the fact of being still oblivious regarding Heaven’s true nature - is motivated by his desire to do good, to make a difference. Aziraphale is kind, brave and he loves humanity, all things that set him apart from the other angels and unite him with Crowley.

And, speaking of Crowley - a being rejected from heaven, who gets along with hell as far as he can and who doesn't really feel at home anywhere… except when he’s with Aziraphale. Welcoming, not only in a metaphorical way, Crowley under his wing and into his beloved bookshop - which at some point might as well be considered their nest - we can say that Aziraphale is Crowley's home. Crowley saved Aziraphale so many times, but Aziraphale saved him too. Because, despite his trust issues and his constant longing for freedom, Crowley found a shelter under Aziraphale's wing.

Don’t bother. I'm not talking about the last 15 minutes (yet). Despite my previous point, there are times when Aziraphale doesn’t seem to care that much about doing something rather questionable. Look at the picture above. Aziraphale, in Madame Tracy's body, is ready to shoot the Antichrist with the thundergun of Witchfinder Colonel Dalrymple. […] Sorry, I just reread this sentence and now I'm wondering about the show and my life choices. However, in this case Aziraphale's decision is motivated by the greater good: he believes that Adam is hell incarnate and that he must be stopped at any cost. Other times his motives aren't so noble. Aziraphale is the one who miracles the clothing swap between himself and the the French revolutionary, sentencing him to the guillotine, and then proceeds to think about his lunch date with Crowley without a care in the world. And what about the Ball? From the shopkeepers' point of view, I can assume that it must not be that great to be forced to reenact a scene straight from Pride and Prejudice and all for Nina and Maggie because that’s Aziraphale's way to express his repressed feelings for Crowley.

Smitten, I believe. Let's continue with the Ball. I might as well have written this entire post as an excuse to use this gif. If you ever have any doubts about Aziraphale's feelings for Crowley, just look at him here. No thoughts head empty. He is literally bursting with joy and he’s not listening a word. His romantic regency dream is about to come true and so he couldn't care less about the demons, hell and Satan himself. Not when Crowley is right next to him. Aziraphale is giggling, looking at Crowley like he’s the most precious being in the entire creation. He’s so obviously in love that neither his eyes, his smile, nor his body language can hide it. During the course of season 2, Aziraphale is more casual in his interactions with Crowley. He touches him, he stares at him like he’s an ox rib longingly. From Aziraphale's perspective - especially considering that he knows that his feelings for Crowley are something forbidden for an angel - it is as if he is putting on the accelerator on their relationship. And the Ball was supposed to be the peak of their romance. Despite everything, this is a completely new territory for them.

You can bet that Aziraphale had the whole thing set in his mind: we can see him mustering up the courage to ask Crowley to dance, proudly grabbing his hand - seriously, he's so happy that he looks like he's about to combust - to have their moment. And Crowley, while continuing to try to make him focus on the demons lurking outside, goes along with Aziraphale. He doesn’t refuse to dance. Even though he doesn't have the faintest idea of what's going on, he doesn’t want to disappoint his angel.

What would have happened if the demons hadn't attacked, once the evening had been over and the guests had been sent away? Dinner with red wine and maybe a confession?

Lawful good. Aka, holier than thou. (Are they touching hands here?) Since he is so smitten with Crowley, why doesn’t Aziraphale just follow his feelings? Because Heaven has still him in its grasp. Heaven in GO is depicted as a brainwashing cult, an abusive family, and a soulless corporation all rolled into one. It's not easy to get free from such an environment, physically and especially mentally. Aziraphale knows that some angels can be… bad angels, but doesn't still fully understand that Heaven isn’t intrinsically good. Let's see some of the awful things he says, parroting what he was taught.

“Look, I am good. You [to Crowley] I'm afraid, are evil. But people get a choice. You know, they cannot be truly holy unless they also get the opportunity to be wicked. She is wicked. […] The lower you start, the more opportunities you have. So Elspeth here has all the opportunities because she's so poor.”

“That's lunacy.”

“No, that's ineffable.”

No, that’s bullshit. When faced with an ethically conflicting situation that calls his morals into question, Aziraphale's first reaction is to regress to Heaven’s propaganda, or to ask Crowley to do the dirty work. After all, he is an angel - and therefore good by default - and Crowley is a demon. The dichotomy-based prejudice that Heaven taught him is still alive and well in Aziraphale's mind. And for him it's not even a prejudice, but a fact. This is what he was taught. As a result, Aziraphale may appear – without realizing it – insensitive regarding the issue of Crowley's Fall. He sees Crowley's kindness and goodness very well but, since in his mind demon equals evil, he will eventually deduce that Crowley shouldn't be a demon after all and that his fall was wrong. Furthermore, restoring Crowley to his angelic status would put to rest most of Aziraphale's sense of shame and guilt over having romantic feelings towards a demon. But by asking him to become an angel again, Aziraphale shows that he didn’t understand what a trauma it was for Crowley to be rejected by Heaven and that he would never, ever go back. I believe that Aziraphale knows that he loves Crowley exactly as he is, but that his celestial indoctrination still prevents him from fully accepting this truth and acting on it.

Lawful or good? However, as I said, Aziraphale is intelligent, has shown a spark of rebellion within him since from the beginning and he’s willing to learn. And he's good, not by default because he's an angel, but because that's who he is. Heaven, as we have seen, still has him in its grasp and so he struggles with his morality, caught between what he theoretically should do and what he thinks is right. But when he uses his own mind - perhaps with a little help from Crowley - Aziraphale’s love for humanity (and for Crowley) ultimately wins over his loyalty to Heaven. It was so with Adam and Eve, with Job's children, in the whole bodysnatching mess and especially during the Armageddon. Aziraphale, unlike the other angels who are all in war gear, has no interest in winning at the cost of the Earth: he wants to avoid the war. When… Mustache - I don't know their name - calls him a pathetic excuse for an angel and tells him to prepare for battle, Aziraphale says NO. He goes specifically against the Great Plan to do what he knows is right.

Aziraphale's moral struggle obviously includes his entire relationship with Crowley: in fact it is one of the major obstacles to it. To trust Crowley, to love Crowley is right for Aziraphale - and he knows it within his heart - but is forbidden by Heaven. For a character as nuanced as Aziraphale, it would be so important to finally acknowledge the fact that he can be good and live in shades of gray at the same time. Loving Crowley without shame, and without changing their respective natures, would be Aziraphale's definitive act of freedom from Heaven’s teachings.

The hedonist. Speaking of something forbidden by Heaven… yes, I saved this picture, I will use it whenever I get the chance, and I regret nothing. There are those who believe that Aziraphale would have gladly taken Crowley as the next course of his scrumptious lunch and those who don't... but there is no denying that Aziraphale likes to indulge.

Not only angels don’t need to eat, but they also shouldn't sully the temple of their celestial bodies with blah blah blah. And whether or not you give a sexual connotation to the ox ribs scene, it is undeniable that Aziraphale devours the meat as if he has been starved for centuries, when we know that technically he cannot be hungry. Aziraphale doesn’t need to eat, he just likes to: it’s pure pleasure. Unlike Crowley who, despite watching, doesn’t personally indulge - besides from alcohol - Aziraphale enjoys the personal gratification that comes from food, books, music and comforts in general. He’s prone to experience various kinds of pleasure. Or rather he might have been.

Please, right now. Aziraphale’s struggle between his angelic status and duties on one hand and his own desires on the other reaches his peak during the kiss. Angels shouldn't fall in love - it's a human thing - and that the very idea of an angel in love with a demon is probably considered blasphemous by Heaven. And a kiss? Even worse. Angels are not supposed to kiss anyone, much less take pleasure in it.

As we know, Aziraphale’s reaction to the kiss is a mixture of overwhelming confusion and undefined desires. He can't just simply ignore the kiss - it’s something physical, intimate, that could change his relationship with Crowley forever - but he doesn't know how to manage his emotions. It's too much. And, while Crowley is there, desperately waiting for a word, Aziraphale angrily spits out that I forgive you. Is he angry with Crowley? Perhaps, because he abruptly forced him to face his own feelings. Is he angry with himself? Definitely, because he has no idea of what he should do. It’s all in the micro expressions: anger, fear, desire, guilt, confusion, struggle. It's in the way Aziraphale mutters no, as soon as Crowley leaves. It's in the way he trembles. It's in the way he presses his hand over his lips, to preserve the memory of Crowley's lips. It's in the way he suddenly drops the hand, reminding that he shouldn't feel like that. It’s forbidden. Aziraphale stands there, confused and afraid of his own desire for Crowley, perhaps even disgusted with himself for feeling so intensely something he has been taught is wrong. He fears to have lost Crowley, perhaps forever, but he needs him, as he had already shouted before.

It’s love, wrapped in tragedy.

Soft is badass. The moment he gets on the lift, Aziraphale is forced to silence all his feelings. So now Heaven has a Supreme Archangel, who is full of a lot of very human emotions all bottled up and ready to explode. One thing that is certain about Aziraphale is that he is often underestimated. But, if the Metatron thinks he can use him and continue to manipulate him for some evil plan, I think he miscalculated. In my ideal scenario, Aziraphale is going to hate everything about the job. He’s going to fully learn all that is wrong about Heaven and the whole system. I'm pretty sure he'll miss Earth, humanity and, more than anything in the world, he'll miss Crowley. Their last moment together will continue to haunt him. Do you think about the fact that the last time Aziraphale saw Crowley without sunglasses, vulnerable, with his defenses down, he had tears in his eyes and those tears were because of him? Do you think this won't torment him? Does the Metatron really think this won't torment him?

Most likely consequence: Aziraphale will finally snap. And when he loses his holy patience he will be in the position of Supreme Archangel, with all the powers that come with the job. I really hope that he’ll have to chance to get angry, to reclaim his personality, to go unhinged, that he'll let go that self-loathing that still comes from Heaven's teachings, that he will be proud to love and be loved by Crowley and finally be free.

And, if sometimes you have the impression that you haven’t fully understood Aziraphale yet, don't worry: it’s because he hasn’t yet fully understood and accepted himself either.

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