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engie-ivy · 1 year

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For @goodboylupin's Candy Hearts Challenge. My candy heart prompt was "UM HI"

Benjy has fallen head over heels. Again. But he swears this time it's different! Again. However, it turns out his new love interest is already dating this Remus guy, and he's just using Benjy to cheat on him. Somehow, Remus himself seems to be more interested in Sirius Black's reaction to the whole situation than in his actual cheating boyfriend.

There's Always Something

Benjy has never felt like this before.

Sure, he’s been in love before. Benjy is quite a sucker for love, actually. He falls fast and always immediately jumps in head-first, which has never had any good results in the past.

But then again, it has never felt like this in the past. The eruption of butterflies at just the meeting of their eyes, the light-headedness that has nothing to do with the wine he’s been drinking, the excitement that for once doesn’t resemble anxiety. It makes him think that all those times before weren’t even crushes, if this is what it’s supposed to feel like.

Benjy has always considered himself a hopeless romantic, but in retrospect, he might have been just hopeless. Like when he claimed the charming man from the coffeeshop who once made his latte art resemble a heart was the love of his life, or when he swore he was going to marry his handsome neighbour who had helped him carry in some heavy boxes when he was moving in, even after he met guy’s girlfriend, or when he was so sure that his friendly trainer in the gym was the one for him, or even way back in high school, when he didn’t stop talking about how smitten he was with the very fit, very broad-shouldered, and very straight jock who was one class above him.

Over a week ago, Benjy ran into said jock again, who was still very fit, still very broad-shouldered, but, as it turned out, not quite so straight anymore.

Benjy had blushed when he entered the deli and suddenly stood face-to-face with the man he still vividly remembered from his school days, Caradoc Dearborn. While Benjy immediately recognized him, he truly didn’t expect Caradoc Dearborn to even know who Benjy was, so he had stammered a quick hello and walked away, expecting that to be the end of it. However, when Benjy was about to leave, Caradoc Dearborn suddenly approached him. He gave Benjy his number, saying it was nice to see him again, and that it would be nice to catch up some time. They texted for about a week before deciding to meet up for coffee. Coffee turned into dinner, and dinner turned into drinks.

And that’s were they are now, sitting together in a cosy bar, so close that there legs are pressed together, just talking and talking and talking. Talking to Caradoc is easy, listening to Caradoc is captivating, and hearing Caradoc laugh is mesmerizing.

From the moment they started talking, Benjy doesn’t ever want it to stop.

Somewhere during their conversation, Caradoc’s hand has ended up on Benjy’s thigh, and Benjy is trailing his hand up over Caradoc’s very impressive biceps. Caradoc reaches out to brush a strand of hair from Benjy’s face, Benjy leans into the touch, Caradoc leans in too, their faces suddenly very close, and almost simultaneously, both of them move in further, slowly closing that last bit of distance between them, and...

Caradoc is abruptly jerked backwards, pulled from his barstool and shoved up against the wall.

Benjy nearly face-plants into the empty bar stool in front of him, and can barely catch himself. “What the-?”

Benjy looks up at the man who has grabbed Caradoc by his collar and is currently glaring at him furiously. He knows that man. Well, he doesn’t know him, but he knows who he is. Everyone does. He’s the kind of guy who walks into the room and you immediately say ‘who is that?’

Sirius Black unfairly handsome, like he’s designed for the sole purpose of making the rest of mankind feel inadequate. Too intimidating for Benjy to ever even dare to talk to, but that’s not to say he hasn’t enjoyed the view from time to time.

One more reason why everyone has had Sirius Black’s name on their lips lately is because of his notorious, high profile family, whom he recently dramatically cut ties with. Everyone loves to speculate about what happened, and Benjy has heard the wildest stories flying around about the fallout between Black and his family.

Benjy most certainly isn’t enjoying the view now, now that Black is pushing the latest Love of His Life up against the wall.

“Um, hi,” Caradoc says, blinking at Black.

“Don’t ‘hi’ me,” Black snaps. “What the hell, Dearborn? How could you?”

“It... It’s not what it looks like!”

“What ‘it looks like’,” Black snarls. “Is that you were about to stick your tongue down that guy’s throat!”

Oh, Benjy really hopes that it is what it looks like!

“Yeah, okay,” Caradoc says. “I suppose that is what it looks like, but I’m not cheating!”

“Oh, right, no, of course,” Black says, rolling his eyes. “Because surely your boyfriend would be absolutely fine with you snogging some other guy!”

Boyfriend? Benjy’s heart drops. Of course, there’s always something, isn’t there? It’s only the first date and it shouldn’t hurt this much, but god, it bloody does!

Caradoc shakes his head. “Sirius, please, it’s something between Remus and I.”

“Oh no,” Black says. “I’m not going to keep this from Remus! You can forget about that! You know what? I knew from the very start you weren’t good enough for him! I should’ve just spoken up back then.”

“Yes, that would’ve saved us both a lot of trouble,” Caradoc mutters.

“I just hope Remus will realise-”

“Remus will realise what?” A guy with floppy, honey-coloured hair and matching honey-coloured eyes comes walking up to them. He looks curiously from Caradoc to Black, his expression strangely... hopeful?

“Remus!” Black says, sounding way too pleased for the current situation, as he turns to the guy, apparently Remus, apparently Caradoc’s boyfriend. “Excellent timing. I think your boyfriend has something to say?” He looks at Caradoc with a slightly smug smile on his face.

Caradoc sighs. “Sirius seems to be under the impression-”

“Sirius isn’t under any impression!” Black interrupts sharply, glaring at Caradoc. “Sirius saw with his own eyes!” He turns back to Remus. “Dearborn was about to snog this random guy here!”

Benjy opens his mouth to protest, because Black may have a good reason to be angry, it’s not Benjy’s fault and Black doesn’t need to talk about him like that, but Caradoc beats him to it.

“Don’t talk about him like that!”

Benjy feels a tingle in his stomach at hearing Caradoc defend him, he’s just so... No, Benjy, no! He’s a liar and a cheater and you deserve better!

Remus presses a hand against his chest and gasps dramatically. “Caradoc! How could you!” He says, rather theatrically, Benjy thinks.

“That’s exactly what I said,” Black says triumphantly.

The way Remus is studying his face makes Benjy think he’s more interested in Black’s reaction to the situation than in his actual cheating boyfriend.

“And I said that it wasn’t like that!” Caradoc exclaims, looking more fed up than guilty or ashamed.

“Caradoc!” Remus hisses, giving him a pointed look.

“I mean, yes, I suppose it is, but...”

“Caradoc!” Benjy says, aiming to sound angry, but it comes out more like heartbroken.

“I mean, no, it’s not...” Caradoc rubs his temples. “Oh, fuck this.” He looks at Remus. “Sorry, Remus. I’m done with this.” He turns to Black. “Remus and I aren’t dating.”

Remus lets out another one of those overly dramatic gasps.

Black’s eyes narrow. “You dare deny it?” He asks in a dangerous tone. “You would just dismiss your relationship with Remus like that, while there are so many people who would die to be with Remus, who would want nothing more than to have him to themselves?”

“I know at least one,” Caradoc mutters under his breath, at the same time as Remus asks “You really think so?” while beaming at Sirius.

“Of course!” Sirius says wholeheartedly. “You deserve someone who knows how lucky they are.” The last part is said with sideways glance in Caradoc’s direction.

Caradoc rolls his eyes. “Remus and I were only pretending to date to make you jealous,” he plainly states.

Sirius blinks at him. “Why... Why would you want to make me jealous?”

Benjy crosses his arms over his chest. “Were you just using me to make him jealous too?” He demands. For some reason, he feels especially hurt that he isn’t even the only one Caradoc was using to make Black jealous. Maybe his friends did have a point when saying he needs to work on his self-esteem...

“Not me!” Caradoc exclaims. “Remus wants to make you jealous.”

Remus lifts his chin. “Why, I do not know of what you speak,” he says airily.

“Oh, Remus, let it off!” Caradoc snaps.

“Fine!” Remus throws his hands up in the air. “Fine! It’s true! It was me!” He turns to Black looking almost defiantly. “I asked Caradoc to pretend to be my boyfriend to help me make you jealous.”

Benjy’s previously sunken heart perks up a little. Caradoc isn’t a cheater! He’s just a loyal friend!

Black stares. “You... What? Why?”

“Because!” Remus exclaims, poking his finger against Black’s chest. “Because I like you, and I know you like me too, but you never bloody say it!”

“And you thought pretending you were happy with someone else would make me more inclined to say it?” Black asks incredulously.

“Every time something seemed to happen between us, you drew back! I thought that maybe the possibility of losing me to someone else would finally give you the push you needed to speak up.”

“Really?” Black crosses his arms over his chest. “The person who thought it a better plan to fake an entire relationship rather than just have a conversation with me is lecturing me about speaking up?”

Benjy must admit he makes a fair point.

Remus places his hands on his hips. “You’re damn right I am! If you like me, you would fight for me!” He averts his gaze. “But you didn’t. So maybe I was wrong. Maybe you don’t like me.”

“I don’t like you,” Black says. “I bloody love you, Remus!”

Remus spreads his arms. “Then why didn’t you fight for me?”

“Because loving you means wanting you to be happy,” Black says. “And believe me, Remus, wanting you to be happy and wanting you to be with me are two very different things.”

There’s a beat of silence.

“What... what’s that supposed to mean?” Remus asks, but his tone is much softer now.

Black runs a hand through his hair. “Look, Remus. You’ve got your shite figured out. You’ve got your own place, you work as a teaching assistant, from where you can get your accreditation and grow into becoming an actual teacher, and you love your job and are damned good at it. You’ve had a rough time, and now you’ve got your life on track. But me? I just got kicked out of my parents’ house, am crashing on my best friend’s couch, and just dropped out of my Business and Accounting studies my parents forced me to do. I never applied for any scholarships, because, you know, rich parents, and now I’m disinherited, so I’ve got no idea how I’m ever going to afford any type of education ever again. In short, I’ve got no place to live, no money, and no idea what I’m going to do with the rest of my life. Why would I let you be a part of that? Why would you want to be a part of that?”

“That makes sense,” Remus says.

Black drops his gaze, but then Remus continues. “Or rather, that would’ve made sense, had it been anywhere near the full story.”

Black looks up again.

Remus takes a step forward. “You forgot to mention how strong and brave you are for defying your family, no matter how much it’ll cost you, or how a fiercely loyal you are to your friends and how you’ve always been there for me, but find it so difficult to ask for help yourself, or just how clever and talented you are, and how you can now finally use that drive and passion to follow your own path, and I can’t wait to see where it’ll take you, but Sirius, there’s no rush. You’re allowed to take your time to figure things out, and while you do, I want to be there with you. So please, let me be there with you.” Remus takes another step towards Black and places a hand on his cheek. “Please, let me be with you.”

Black responds by moving in and kissing Remus, his arms coming around Remus’ waist to pull him even closer, and Remus’ hands sliding into Black’s hair.

Benjy starts to clap.

Remus and Black pull apart and give Benjy a puzzled look.

Benjy awkwardly scrapes his throat. “Um, sorry. It... It seemed like a clapping-moment?” He scratches his head. “I’m sorry. Please, um, don’t mind me. Sorry.”

Remus shakes his head and seems to want to continue the kiss, but at that point, a young man with hazel eyes, messy, dark hair sticking up in all directions, and a calm, easy-going manner about him has wandered up to the group, casually sipping his beer.

“Everything settled here?” He asks, looking from Remus and Black to Benjy and Caradoc. “Everyone got the respective man of their choice?”

Remus holds on to Black’s arm. “I’ve got mine!” He beams.

Black smiles at him completely besotted. “And I mine.”

They’re actually cute together. Benjy can’t help it. Besides the fact that Black ruined his moment with Caradoc and insulted Benjy, and Remus nearly ruined things between him and Caradoc all together by not fessing up about his scheming, Benjy finds himself rooting for them.

His thoughts are interrupted by Caradoc gently tapping him on the shoulder. “What about me?” He asks softly. “Have I got the respective man of my choice?”

Benjy can’t help the smile spreading over his face. “Who knows, if you play your cards right.”

Two years later

“And I pronounce you now husband and husband! You may kiss the groom.”

“And now you may clap,” Caradoc whispers in Benjy’s ear.

Benjy glares at him as the room bursts out in applause as Remus throws himself at Sirius, who is all too happy to catch him and pull him into a passionate kiss.

Caradoc chuckles and kisses Benjy’s cheek. “I’m sorry, love. I’m just teasing.”

Benjy doesn’t reply, but he lets Caradoc wrap his strong arms around him and pull him close, and he rests his head on Caradoc’s shoulder with a content sigh as Caradoc starts gently treading his fingers through his hair.

They watch as Remus and Sirius, Mr and Mr Lupin, make their way back down the aisle, towards the exit, Remus holding on to Sirius’ arm and Sirius smiling at him completely besotted, both of them beaming more brightly than Benjy has ever seen anyone beam.

“They really are cute together,” Benjy says.

“Hmmm,” Caradoc hums.

“And it was such a beautiful ceremony,” Benjy sighs.

Caradoc moves a bit closer to whisper in his ear. “Do you think that’ll be us someday?”

Benjy’s stomach erupts in flutters, like it still does every time he’s reminded that Caradoc is actually his. He can’t help the smile spreading over his face. “Who knows, if you play your cards right.”

#RSCandyHearts #UM HI #my tumblr writing #wolfstar #wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar fic #marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders fic #sirius black #remus lupin #remus x sirius #benjy fenwick #caradoc dearborn #benadoc #carajy #fenborn #dearwick #sorry i'll stop i promise

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ivomoon · 1 month

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My thoughts on Caradoc in Braving the Ocean SPOILERS below

If I were to rank my favorite characters in bto it would be 1. Remus/Sirius, 2. Sirius/Remus (obviously I cannot and will never decide) and then 3. Caradoc. I am in love with him. He is my favorite character I have ever written and for several personal reasons I think he’s just made my writing better

But in the story he is introduced as Sirius’s fuck buddy and a drug dealer. I was talking to my friend about it and at a surface level glance his character is very “come on baby, take some drugs and fuck yourself on my cock.” But that’s not who he is, he’s Sirius’s friend and he loves him. As we learn in chapter 25, their relationship runs much deeper.

The whole thing about them is that although they both think that they don’t have expectations for each other, they do. Sort of. One of the expectations that they have is that they count on each other. Sirius especially, it’s not just the drugs or the sex, he uses Caradoc as a sounding board, he values his opinion so much because Caradoc doesn’t coddle him. James coddles him. And although Marlene pokes at him, she still doesn’t push him. Caradoc pushes him—and Sirius might’ve left because he doesn’t like being pushed because he’s complacent but he stays because he “needs” the drugs. Caradoc knows he can push because Sirius will come back.

Their relationship is an unusual one, are they friends, are they fuck buddies, are they dealer and client, are they subject and photographer? They are all and they transition between it because that is one expectation they don’t have. And it works, when Remus and Sirius get together, they don’t cheat because that was never an issue, Caradoc may be a cheater, but Sirius wasn’t—so their relationship lost the sexual aspect, until everything went to shit at least.

I think that Caradoc and Sirius needed each other, but I don’t think that their relationship was healthy or good. Sirius needed someone outside of the band, someone who he could express his sexuality with—Kingsley and Fabian were both dangerous in their own respects, and I’m not saying drugs aren’t, but Caradoc was a tad bit safer. Caradoc cared more. Caradoc wasn’t just there for rockstar Sirius, the sexual being, he was there for Sirius. Sirius needed someone who he could ask questions with, talk to about Remus, and just be around that wasn’t tied to his fame.

But their relationship obviously wasn’t healthy. It was tied to drugs. Every part from the beginning was intrinsically tied to drugs, I don’t know if anyone caught this, but every memory with Caradoc was one where Sirius was high. Sirius isn’t the type of person who can do drugs occasionally, and Caradoc thinks he can. Caradoc thinks being sober is bullshit and Sirius needs to be sober (from drugs). They don’t work well. They aren’t compatible. Caradoc wants to support him, but he simply doesn’t understand that Sirius isn’t the same as him.

But back to Caradoc specifically, we don’t get much of his background because simply Sirius doesn’t care. He cares about Caradoc, of course, but he sees him for what he is, useful. So now, I will add details:

I always pictured him coming from a modest background, but with a family that knew that they had to work

He went to college for photography and worked as an assistant and in his final year, that’s when he met Sirius

He got involved in drugs pretty early on, when he was twenty or so his addiction got serious, but it was never exactly hardcore, especially when you looked at someone like Sirius, he hid it so much better, and would often try and quit but then be like “fuck it sobrieties a joke anyway”

Knew his sexuality since he was fifteen, but only admitted it when he was seventeen, never told his family, confident when he goes out, but still doesn’t tell many people, and this surprises Sirius

And a funny one: when Sirius got the NEVER MIND tattoo on his knees Caradoc got a tattoo too, and that was Ralph from Ninja Turtles (cough cough aka the worst one, according to my cousins)

Ending thoughts: I was surprised that people didn’t like Caradoc as much as they did—I understand that he got in the way of wolfstar (SORT OF) and is not a healthy person for Sirius, but still?? I love him so so much. Is it because he’s a drug dealer?? Do people not like drug dealers?? Regardless, that sort of surprised me. He’s probably my favorite character in this story excluding wolfstar, so I suppose that’s good that people couldn’t tell that I favored him. And I think he and Sirius will be friends forever, even if Remus doesn’t like it, Caradoc has helped Sirius so much, that’s not just something you forget.

Anyway, my Caradoc analysis — above all, he’s a very crucial character to the story.

#fic: braving the ocean #wolfstar #caradoc dearborn #bto

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mydarlingdearestdead · 1 year

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funny how I've attached myself to Benjy Fenwick for absolutely no reason (?) and now I'm here alone at my table for one making him up a whole backstory and personality, plus Caradoc's. anyone wanna help?

#marauders #fuck jk rowling #benjy x caradoc #benjy fenwick #caradoc dearborn #Marauders era #plus we'll be seeing a lot of Hestia and Emma as well #hestia Jones #emma vanity #hp #fuck jkr #marauders fandom

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marlenmckinnon · 1 year

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The first order of the phoenix — taken during the first wizarding war (1970-1981)

Most of them were children, brave, ah yes, but still children.

Marlene Mckinnon -Milly Alcock- was one of the bravest, when she witnessed her whole family's death, she went mad. Killing death eaters while using forbidden spells, the Order wanted to get her out when she sacrificed herself by protecting a pregnant Lily Evans. Her last words were for James, her best friend, Dorcas, her soulmate, and Lily, her dear friend: Fuck you're all ugly criers.

Frank and Alice Longbottom -Andrew Garfield and Carey Mulligan- were pure souls, kind and loyal. Their loyalty cursed them to not meet their only son: Neville. Everything for the Order. Everyone that was there that night, on one or the other side still hears their screams at night. The walls and portraits suffer their pain, and howl at night, for the Lovers of the Order.

Benjy Fenwick -Suraj Sharma- was a witted man, funny, patient, and optimistic. The Hufflepuff was its perfect definition. On his last day, he was so scared and alone. Shivering, but still with his wand out, he always trusted his dear friends, that they could save him. The poor boy was blinded by his trust. One against six, it was doomed from the start. He did not leave, he did not escape. A scared little boy, imploded into pieces.

Edgar Bones -Edvin Ryding- never failed to impress the other members of the Order. His innovative way of thinking gave them many advantages in the war and made them win many battles. The Order was lucky to have him. Edgar was unlucky to fight alongside the Order. His whole family got wiped out, and they began this bloody massacre with him getting killed on a dark street, between trash cans, muggles drinking their problems away, and prostitutes trying to have clients that winter. He became, nothing.

Caradoc Dearborn's -Daniel Kaluuya- strength was such an advantage to the Order, both physical and magical. He also had the gift of lying pretty well and had been on multiple missions to discover weaknesses from Voldemort's side. The mole of the Order, he was called. He had seen, he had to do horrible things to message back and help the Order. After that picture, he announced his last mission. Two months later he came back with useful information, scarred to life. He'd prefer vanishing and disappearing, being called dead than stop working for the Order. He was no traitor. But he couldn't do it anymore, he was tired, so tired...

Gideon and Fabian Prewett -Nick Gehlfuss- are now most well-known to be the younger brothers of the famous Molly Weasley. Before that, they were great warriors. Because yes, they were warriors. They took down many Death Eaters, even in death, Gideon with his last breath took one with him. Fabian was alone and taken back to an unknown location where he was tortured to have information. He never gave in and starved to death, already half gone by his wounds, a few days later. Twins, separated. Ah, history does repeat itself.

Dorcas Meadowes' -Alexandra Park- surname in Hogwarts was the Nosebreaker. She was wild, that one. She and Marlene were the chaotic duo that needed to be tamed, but that worked so well together. She saw so much pain and death, and Marlene's death was the last straw. She couldn't take it anymore. Marlene's madness overtook Dorcas. She did not become mad, she went utterly psychotic and killed everyone in her way, absorbing all the pain and the hardship she contained for years. Voldemort feared her so much he wanted to see her dead himself. He killed her and watched her corpse for two long hours, waiting to be certain of her death. The Nosebreaker became the Death Eaters' Menace.

Those children fought a war that wasn't theirs, knowing the consequences; dealing with the consequences. They suffered loss and misery and pain like no one else. They were children fighting adults' war, while those were behind desks, manipulating the fresh meat to fight for them. Never alongside them. They died, almost every one of them. And each one hoped for one thing, as they took their last breath, that this war would end with them, that their children wouldn't suffer like they did for so long.

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simplymoons · 2 years

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The Men of the Marauder Era continued (social media au)

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atlasdoe · 6 months

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Amelia Bones Headcannons

Pureblood

Lesbian

Her Patronus was a Dove

Her boggart was being disowned

Younger sister to Jamie Bones

Twin sister (older by 7 minutes) to Edgar Bones

The Bones family was a very traditional and well-respected family to be in

Despite this, Amelia’s grandfather on her dad's side was an alcoholic and was a terrible and neglectful father. Because of this, Amelia’s father was determined to be the exact opposite of his dad and was very strict and wanted great things from his own children. Amelia and her brothers got the same treatment from their mother who wanted to prove her own mother wrong when she disapproved of their relationship. Both of Amelia’s parents were set on having well-respected and successful children as if having anything else would mean that they failed. As you can imagine this put a lot of fucking pressure on each of the silings

Amelia got on well with her family anyway. She grew up being taught that family meant everything and she loved her brothers more than anyone. She knew why her parents were the way they were and had a lot of sympathy for them

She grew up in a wizarding town in Ireland, in the same town The Mckinnons lived. Amelia (who always wanted a sister) grew close with the McKinnon sisters, her favourite being Olivia

Amelia was a skilled figure skater. She started lessons when she was four and continued the sport until her death

When Amelia joined Hogwarts with Edgar they were both sorted into Hufflepuff where they met Gideon and Fabian Prewett

Amelia, Edgar, Gideon and Fabian all became really close friends

Her other friends were Benjy Fenwick, Caradoc Dearborn and Pandora Lovegood

She and Benjy dated for a week while they were in their second year

Amelia realised she was a lesbian in her fourth year when she discovered her crush on Pandora

Over time her crush didn't go away and by their seventh year Amelia was head over heels in love but refused to say anything because she didn't want it to be true

Amelia knew that if she told her parents that she was gay they would disown her because of how homophobic they were

She came out to Edgar in their seventh year

THE MOST MIRRORBALL TO EVER MIRRORBALL

She became a prefect and Head Girl while at Hogwarts

After graduating from Hogwarts Amelia started an internship at the Ministry of Magic as she had plans to become Minister of Magic one day

Amelia had no interest in joining the Order and wished that Edgar, Fabian and Gideon didn't but understood why they did

During this time Amelia’s parents were trying to get her to marry Gaspard Shingleton, someone who Amelia had gone to school with and who she knew had a crush on her. Amelia, however was a lesbian and still in love with Pandora so she rejected him at every turn

Because of her connection to the Order, she would try to help out as much as she could but refused to do anything that could get her into trouble

Edgar was killed in early October 1981 and Amelia lost half of her soul with him

After Emmeline is told she goes to the Bones house to check on Amelia. When she gets there Amelia (who is very upset and angry) lashed out on her and told Emmeline that it's her fault that Edgar died because if she didn't break up with him then Edgar would've never slept with Elizabeth and he wouldn't have died

(Really Amelia knows that it's unfair to blame Emmeline when she's grieving just as much but she just lost her twin brother so cut her some slack)

During Edgars funeral Amelia came out to Jamie

When the war ended Amelia continued working at the Ministry

In 1984 she was the maid of honour for Pandora and Xenophilius Malfoy’s wedding

While there she also apologised to Emmeline

#the marauders #harry potter #the marauders era #amelia bones #edgar bones #pandora lovegood #emmeline vance #fabian prewett #gideon prewett #benjy fenwick #caradoc dearborn

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saintchaser · 2 years

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war tears lovers apart.

it had started with mary and lily. they didn't even manage to get out of hogwarts. lily, a warrior, a saint, and mary, watching from the sidelines, a sinner of some sorts, who had chosen to leave, who had chosen to flee, and maybe she had been a coward. maybe that was the mary lily was going to remember forever.

mary knew that that'd be the end of them. and still, she kept watching from afar, holding on, clinging to the hope that, once the war ends, their galaxy would open again, and that she'd see her sun again. maybe they'd reconcile, if not as lovers, then as a world in which they gravitate around each other, like stars in the night sky.

war kills lovers.

the first one to fall had been benjy. he disappeared sometime in march, and until april, he hadn't been found. they had looked for him, searched everywhere, and they had found him in surrey. the only way they recognized him was that dark brown mark on his arm, the birthmark that caradoc had loved so dearly. he had been torn apart, blood and flesh and bones, and only pieces and pieces of him found.

they never found his head. two words had been inscribed in his arm, with dark red. "you're next." james threw up. there was no funeral. two weeks later, under mysterious circumstances that dumbledore had known but never disclosed, caradoc joined his lover.

war kills lovers.

for them, it had started with marlene. she had been the first one that they really knew. others had been acquaintances, distant friends, that they had wept for and mourned, but marlene had been something entirely different, a shock to reality. they were all going to die. it happened quickly, in a rush, almost as if hadn't happened, but it burned in dorcas' memory until the moment they had died.

they said they had gone mad. they had tried to stop them, but they never succeeded. they had gone and killed, blood curling screams and pleas that sent shivers up their spine and made their blood boil, maybe that way, they would avenge her. but they thought of themselves too highly, they soared to unreachable heights. two months later, they had a little, lonely funeral, a baby crying in james' arms, and the old graveyard welcoming them with open arms.

war tears lovers apart.

remus and sirius had been the first to fall apart. maybe it had been because of their personalities, which blended in each other sometimes, and self-sabotaged, and hurt each other mercilessly, or maybe it had been just the influence of the war and the recklessness and the death, looming over their heads with a serpent and a skull and another funeral, another soldier.

they became reckless and angry and brash and, if it ever had any beauty, it had been the one of the waves crashing in the cliffs, foaming at the edges and spilling out and eroding, eating each other alive, burning each other up, until there was nothing left of either of them.

war had never been for lovers.

#the benjy thing was inspired by arakhnee aka sy's snippet in the server that i loved <3 thank you for the inspo <3 #this is some sort of insight into the relationships and how they had been affected by the war. i might do jily too but honestly they #<- had held on the best and honestly seeing the situation they were in (war and baby) they had definitely been the healthiest relationship #<- out of ALL of them #i also want to start exploring the dynamic of caradoc and benjy because they've been together in my head for A WHILE now #i love the insights of war. i've done some with the missions recently but i might do order meetings and that kind of stuff to because there #<- is so much angst that. hhh /pos #mary macdonald #lily evans #marylily #marylily angst #benjy fenwick #caradoc dearborn #(insert ship name)#dorcas meadowes #marlene mckinnon #dorlene #dorlene angst #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #wolfstar angst #the first wizarding war #the first wizard war angst #my writing #death tw #gore tw #murder tw

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