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romana-after-dark · 11 months

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The Wrong Way: Chapter 8

Dark!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader Tommy Miller x reader (secondary)

Masterlist

Spotify playlist

Summery: You are sold to Joel to clear up some of your fathers' debts, and he takes you back to his house where him, Tommy, and high ranking members of his raiding trope stay. Joel is mean, cruel, and hash, but had small moments of softness that confuse you in your venerable state. Over time, you get to know him and Tommy, and see different sides of each, and both are hiding secrets. Was it possible to fall in love under these circumstances? Or was that just another way Joel was fucking with you?

Aka: my mom sold me to One Direction

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. Blow Jobs, PIV sex, lose of virginity, sex trafficking, past incest, death/people dying everywhere, Stockholm syndrome, falling for your rapist, victim blaming, torcher, branding, physical abuse, rape (not Joel), somno, dub con on tommy? idk he's not really into it but feels like he has to, self-harm/depression/suicidal thoughts (not a lot) but fair warning, major age gaps, love triangle, pregnancy/birth, threats of abortion, major character death, mentions of potential csa/child abuse but does not even come close to happening, forced pregnancy, forced housewife shit, breeding, breeding kink?!?!

I wanna add we're really heavy on the birth/pregnancy, forced birth, choking, domestic violence, threats of hanging and murder. Can't say I didn't warning yuh (unless i missed a warning of course. then please let me know so i cant edit ASAP) Like this is a rough chapter, a lot of violence to a pregnant woman. but I wanna say right now...

The baby will not be harmed in anyway. Baby will be born healthy, and live and have a good life in both the main ending and alt ending.

5k words (sorry not sorry lol)

Also to clarify a few things I guess i didn't make clear enough in previous chapters!

Joel only 'guessed' that Tommy and LO slept together. He had suspicions but thought he could trust Tommy and his 'girlfriend'. When LO rushed to stop Joel from hurting Tommy, that was his 'evidence'. Joel was beating Tommy because he found out about Maria.

Joel only heard part of the conversation between Zach and Little One. Nick said way back in chapter 3 the wall are thinner than she thinks. He didn't know Lorenzo had any part of it, and because LO didn't rat him out, he never will.

Thats my bad for not being clear!

Can you catch the Superstore homage? (aka i rewatched two episodes just to take it line for line lol)

***************

Month 3

No one warned you about morning sickness.

You knew fuck all about sex before you came to Joel’s, just a thing or two from your friend back at the ranch and how to get a man off with your mouth or hands, but pregnancy and birth was next to nothing. You didn’t even know how pregnancy happened really, other than a penis in a vagina until you asked Tommy early on if you were going to get pregnant. After a very uncomfortable talk for both of you, Tommy explained that Joel told him he pulls out, so you should be good… Lorenzo said you can still get pregnant that way, but thinking back to the night Joel almost killed Tommy and you… Joel finished inside… the timing added up.

Pregnancy and birth were entirely unknown to you, and you wished someone would just give you a heads up. Joel had a daughter and no doubt had been through at least once pregnancy, and Lorenzo had mentioned 4 of his 6 older sisters got pregnant before leaving the house… something about no sex education, men too old for them, and their religion not believing in birth control or abortion… but you didn’t know what half those words meant, and after Lorenzo mercilessly made fun of you for days about not knowing Joel’s song for you was actually a very famous song, you didn’t dare ask him about the words, or anything with pregnancy. You didn’t want to ask Joel either, not wanting to give away how terrified you were, not wanting him to think you didn’t want to… But you did! You did want this baby, you reminded yourself again and again and again, because Joel was good to you, Joel took care of you, Joel would care for this baby too. You’d be bound to him, and he’d never get tired of you this way, and he wouldn’t hurt the mother of his child, right?

The birth was something you tried not to think about.

So here you were, puking your gut out before you even had breakfast and Joel held your hair back.

“Shhh, shhhhhhh” he coo’d and you heaved, yellow bile and acid coming up from inside you since the little food in your stomach from dinner had been thrown up 5 minuets ago.

With a final spit into the toilet, you sink back and Joel wipes your mouth for you. “I think that’s it.” You mutter, and Joel carries you into your shared bedroom, laying you down with the care of an infant before kissing your forehead.

“Don’t worry about breakfast, little one. I don’t need anything this morning.” He says before kissing your cheek. But you were worrying about breakfast, because you wanted it… but the only way you’d be getting food is if you made it. Tommy wasn’t here to care for you anymore. “I’ll be gone until the evening, what's for dinner?”

The thought of cooking, the thought of raw meats and the strong smells of spices made you want to vomit again. “I dunno…”

“I think a few of them chickens is ready to be butchered, you ever made chicken parmesan? We got that cheese I brought back yesterday, you could make something like that.”

You groan a bit, exhausted and tired despite being only 3 months in. You didn’t sleep at all last night, nightmares of the past and the future plaguing you. He knew that you didn’t sleep, you had told him… “Joel I can’t, the butchering, I feel so-”

“I’ll make Lorenzo do it.” He promises. “Chicken parmesan it is then?” He decided for you. What he didn’t understand is it wasn’t just butchering a few chickens. To make chicken parm you need chicken breasts, not the rest of it. You didn’t waste meat, so Lorenzo kills (you could do it on a normal day, but not with your heightened smell) then you pluck, clean, Lorenzo butchers, then you have to separate the different parts and put them into hygienic storage and take them to the freezer locker, then thoroughly clean yourself, all the tools and surfaces (and Lorenzo) to prevent illness. It would take hours. But Joel didn’t see that, he only ever saw the food at the end of his day.

“Okay” You agree reluctantly, and he begins kissing your neck and groping you, no doubt wanting a quicky before a long day of unspeakable violence. “Joel, please, I don’t feel good.” You beg him not to, but you learned in the past that this never got far.

His morning breath wasn’t helping anything as he tugged down your shorts. “I’ll be quick.”

You knew what that meant. Joel slid into you with no prep, no lubrication, and it burned. The steady rocking was the last thing you needed right now, and with his head buried in your neck, you covered your mouth as the nausea took over. You threw up, but like everything the last several months, you just swallowed it down again to deal with when Joel was gone. When he came inside (wasn’t he worried about you getting pregnant again?) you quickly pull up your pants and run to the bathroom, pushing past Lorenzo no doubt on his way to babysitting duties with you.

As he watched you run past and heard the sounds of throwing up, Lorenzo caught Joel’s arm as he brushed past. “Peppermint or ginger. Find it, whatever form it's in. Oils, drops, whatever. If you can find the leaves or the root we can make it into a tea. Just find it, it’ll help her nausea.”

Month 4

“Okay Lorenzo, I got a question for you, and you can’t make fun of me.” You say as you cook, the swell of your belly beginning to show now.

“No guarantees.” He says, sitting his drink. How did he find so much alcohol?

“Fine. Okay… when Joel and I have sex-”

He visibly cringed. “Since when do we talk about our sex lives?”

“Renzo.”

“Fine, go on. But remember I’m not exactly an expert on female anatomy.”

You take a deep breath. “Okay. Well I told you he always pulls out right? Um… ever since I told him im pregnant… he doesn’t.”

Lorenzo waits for you to continue, but you don’t. You think that’s it. “What the problem?”

You continue to avoid looking at him, stirring the soup. “Well.. what if I get pregnant again?”

He stares at you like he’s trying to make sense of your question before the recognition sets in. “OH!” But before he explains what he means… his face shifts… theres something sad in there, a hint of pain in his eyes you only saw once, the face he had as he looked at you in disgust while Joel carried you from the bedroom to the bath while you were covered head to toe in spit and cum and period blood… was it pity? “Jesus kid… No one really taught you anything, did they?”

“C’mon, just tell me.”

Scrubbing his face, he sighed. “No, you can’t get pregnant while your already pregnant.”

Oh. “Wait… really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Ah. Okay then.”

There was a long, long silence before he spoke again. “If you got any other question about, like… pregnancy and birth… I can try and answer.”

Joel had been trying to find a doctor, a midwife, something for you… but it was slim pickings in Wyoming.

Five minuets later, you were squealing, covering your ears, but laughing. “Ew! What the hell is a mucus plug! You know what, I don’t wanna-”

“IT’S A PLUG FULL OF MUCUS IN YOUR VAGINA WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS?!?!” He yells loud enough to get past your attempt at blocking your ears.

“NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH!!! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” But you still could.

“Honestly in the last month or two all kinds of weird things are gonna come out of you including but not limited to a very slimey and weird looking baby.”

You gasp, feigning indignance. “How dare you insult my unborn child!”

“It ain’t personal, sweetheart. All babies look ugly as fuck as newborns. Now, let’s get back to the gritty details.”

With a squeal, you try to run away. “No! I know enough!” But you’re laughing. It felt like you were messing around with Zach back in your childhood home.

“My sister Elaina lost like 4 teeth.”

“AAAHHHHH!”

Month 5

Joel had finally found a midwife of sorts. Well, technically, Jack did, as it was his cousin. Maura had been a nurse in the birthing wing a short time before everything went to shit and had been helping women deliver babies ever since. Initially, she told Jack to keep his mouth shut. She hated Joel and didn’t want a thing to do with him, but when no one else showed up and you were in your 5th month, she relented, purely for the sake of the innocent kidnapped girl.

“Put the fucking gun away, Joel.” She said as she entered your room, grabbing the barrel in Joel’s hands and pointing it to the floor. “Point that shit at me again and I’m not helping your child bride.” She stared him down, head tilted up only slightly to reach his eyes. If she was intimidated by Joel, she wouldn’t

Joel glared at her, but he didn’t have many options. “If you hurt her-”

“From what I hear, you’re doing enough of that yourself. Now, you stand up against the wall and watch if you want to, but don’t interfere, and do not try to intimidate me, understood?”

You watched in awe as she stood her ground… It had been months before you had done anything of the sort against Joel, only standing up to him when Tommy’s life was in danger. Joel gave a curt nod and she turn to approach where you lay, sat up against some pillows.

A gentle smile was on her face, but it was clear she was here for business. Still, her confidence and certainty put you at ease.

“My name’s Maura, I’ll be helping deliver this baby.” She was beautiful, with long black hair and a light smattering of freckles on her face, but got straight to the point. It was clear she knew what she was doing, asking you questions you hadn’t even thought of yet and examining you. When she was done, she stood up, looking at you, not Joel. “It seems despite the circumstances-”

Joel tried to interrupt. “The fuck’s that supposed to mean”

But Maura ignored him, keeping your attention with her bright brown eyes. “Despite the circumstances, everything appears to be progressing naturally, theres no cause for concern as of right now. But you need to keep things low stress.” It was then she turned to glare at Joel, to emphasize her point.

Maura said she’d be staying near-by and Joel was paying her a hefty price for her services. When you’d go into labor, Joel was to send a man on horse to fetch her, preferably Jack, but she warned she would armed, and she’d be there shortly.

That night, Joel held you close as you discussed baby names.

“How about Loretta? Like that singer you liked?”

Joel hums, none commital. “I always liked Dorothy, we could call her Dolly as a nickname. I know you like Dolly Parton” Joel had been teaching you about old country music, and you certainly had a few favorites. Not knowing many women in general, your pool of girl names was not strong so you drew from singers he’d mentioned.

You scrunch up your nose a bit at that. “I like Dolly, I don’t like Dorothy.”

“It was my grandmas name, I’d really like to name our daughter after her.” His voice had that tone to it, the one that left little room to argue, but you tried to push past Dorothy.

“Maybe June? Like June Carter?” You knew how particle he was to Johnny Cash, but also... that was the name of the only friend you had before Tommy.

“That’s beautiful, little one, June it is.” He smiles into your skin, and you think you’ve won, when he says. “Dorothy June.”

He had already decided, and there was no real option to argue or change his mind. You’d just call her Dolly, then.

You had one thing you really, really wanted for boy name, and you desperately hoped you could get it, but you couldn’t tell him why. You didn’t want any more kids so this was your only shot. You hadn’t even wanted this one, but as your stomach swelled with life, motherly love came with it and you decided you’d make the best of the situation. The child inside you was your number one priority. “Okay, boys? I really like Caleab… It’s my favorite boy name…” You didn’t have to tell him that was Zach’s middle name.

“I like it, bebita.”

You got what you wanted. You knew Joel was hoping for a girl, so you figured he was less particular on the boy name.

“Got any ideas for the middle name?” You ask him.

“Nothing in mind, really. I’m open…” He kisses your neck. “Anything you want?”

You keep quiet. The name you wanted… he’d never go for.

Joel pulled you closer, nuzzling his face against you as he whispered. “Ah. I see.” You freeze. Tommy hadn’t been so much as alluded to since he barely made it out alive and you thought for sure Joel would have a fit, and you began to prepare yourself to feel a hand wrapped around your throat… But he tucked your hair behind your ear and kissed into your locks as he settled down for bed. “Caleb Thomas”

Month 6

Lorenzo was getting on your fucking nerves today, and you were about to fling the frying pan, bubbling grease and all, at his face.

“Will you shut up?”

“No, I’m not going to shut up because you are being fucking stupid!” Instead of his usual spot sitting at the kitchen table, he’s standing, arms crossed, in the doorway as you tried to get diner done. “I told you the first day, you are a dumb. Bitch.” he was drunk, three sheets to the wind and absolutely no filter.

“You have no fucking idea what I am! I am trying to fucking survive, Lorenzo, I am trying to keep myself and this baby-”

“You are playing housewife to a serial murder and a rapist!” He yells at you, clearly frustrated. “You are rewarding all the bad things he’s ever done you just give positive reinforcement-”

“Don’t fucking blame me! I’m not reinforcing the bad, I’m reinforcing the good!” You storm over to him, glaring Lorenzo down. “You have no fucking idea how bad things were! I used to dream about killing myself, about dying, about Joel finally snapping and doing it! I am doing the best in the conditions I have!”

“You could have left! You could have left with Zach and gone off with him for fucks sake!”

With a burst of anger you didn’t know was even in you anymore, you shove him, hard, causing the drunk to fall over. “You wanna know what he did last time I tried to run? He caught me within 10 minuets, dragged me back and chained me to this table-” You point at the table that you and Joel sit at most evenings now for diner. “And raped me in front of everyone, Lorenzo! Then he branded me and left me to be gang raped by all your little buddies here! And no one could stop him, not even Tommy! All Tommy could do is stand by and watch, and unchain me after Joel left before anyone could do anything more!”

Lorenzo was not deterred. “That’s my fucking point!”

“If I leave and he catches me, I am dead!”

Scoffing, Lorenzo rolls his eyes from where he’s slumped against the floor. “Yeah, that’s why”

Unsure how much more you can take from him, you motion him to continue.

“You just don’t wanna admit you fell in love with your rapist.”

That was enough. You begin to walk away from him, but he follows after you.

“What about when you give birth, huh? What kind of father is he going to be? Are you going to stand by while he beats your kids?”

“SHUT UP!” You scream, still walking away.

“And what if you have a daughter? You just gonna let him molest her like your dad-”

You wipe around so fast you don’t even have time to blink. “No, Joel isn’t like that.”

Lorenzo laughs at you, cruel and loud. “You are 20 years younger than him, he raped you! You really think he’s above-”

“YES! He will not hurt her like that!”

“And if you have a son? Do you really wanna raise a man like Joel? The kind of man who beats and rapes innocent girls?”

Tears prickle at your eyes now, a terrible tightness in your chest bubbling with stomach bile. “N-no, that’s not gonna happen, I won’t let-”

“Oh, because you’ve had so much choice the last year, havn’t you. Sooooo much control.”

“I won’t.” You shake your head vigorously. “I won’t let anything happen to my baby, Joel won’t hurt them.”

“So, say he doesn't. You really gonna raise a kid here? Half the men here would’ve raped you, given the chance! You really think your child is safe here?”

You can’t argue with him when he’s right. But he doesn’t get it. Joel is good now, Joel protects you, Joel will protect the baby… Joel is gentle now… soft, kind… he thinks of you, he sings you songs… he plays music for you, he’ll be a good dad… You’ll be okay…

You shut down, going into autopilot. You don’t look at Lorenzo as you walk back to the kitchen to finish frying the chicken. Joel would be home soon.

Month 7

“JACK! GET MAURA!” Joel shouts as you groan on the bed, the tight contractions hurting.

“Joel, it hurts!” You call for him, and in a flash Joel is at your bedside, letting you squeeze his hand.

“I know, little one, I know…” He pets your hair, having flashbacks to Sarah’s birth…. He wanted another girl so bad, but god, he just wanted a healthy baby and for his girl to make it out alive. Birth was dangerous in modern medicine, nonetheless a post-apocalyptic shitstorm.

Lorenzo stood in the doorway, biting his nails. “You’re not due for another 8 weeks!”

Grunting through the pain, you let a rare bout of sarcasm slip. “Oh yeah, that’s right, never mind.”

“Could be false labor, you know? That’s called Braxton-Hicks contractions?” Lorenzo looked more nervous than you.

Joel ignored him. “It’s gonna be okay, Maura’s on her way and I think even out here 32 weeks is gonna be okay.” Joel wasn’t entirely sure about his own words. 32 weeks meant a premature baby, and pre-mature usually meant NICU… but there was no NICU to go to… if the babies lungs were under developed or anything like that, there were no options.

Lorenzo was chewing through his nails enough to draw blood. “Or maybe it’s Braxton-Hicks”

At that, Joel finally acknowledges Lorenzo. “Okay, we get it, you know the term Braxton-Hicks, we’re all very impressed.”

“AHHHHHHH” You yell, wishing to get there was something for the pain.

Lorenzo wouldn’t shut up. “Okay, contractions are getting longer, that means your in active labor?”

“Her water hasn’t broke yet!”

“Is she dilated?”

“Does it look like her pants are off to you?”

“Well check!”

“I don’t know how to tell! Weren’t you bragging last month you helped your sister give birth in a Walmart?”

“That doesn’t mean I know how to check if she’s dilated!”

“You know more than me!”

“I’m not sticking my fucking face between legs!”

“Oh, because you’re gay you’re suddenly scared of vagina’s?”

“What are you talking about?”

“So you’d rather let her just die?”

“DIE? Joel she’s not gonna die because I’m not looking at her fucking cu-”

“GUYS” you shout, causing both to turn and look at you. “The contractions stopped.”

There’s a moment of silence before Lorenzo speaks. “Oh. Huh. That’s uhhh… Braxton-Hicks I guess. False labor.”

As Joel kissed you that night, sex was the last thing you wanted, but you knew there was no point in fighting it.

Joel sucked on your throat, already bruised with dark marks from the night before, now sore and aching with new licks and bites, his hands roaming to expanse of skin presented before him. Gripping, feeling, pinching, tugging, some things felt good, some hurt, but that didn’t matter. He’d get you off, he always did, at night anyway, but you knew sometimes he just liked to feel you, feel what he owned. The pain is mine. Your cries are mine, your cunt is mine. And if you bleed? Your blood is mine.

Your belly round and swollen with child, he could not hardly keep his hand off it, every time his hand traveled to explore, it quickly found itself returning to its home, never wanting to miss a kick. He slithered down, nestling his face between your legs and devouring your pussy the way he did your neck, the way he did every piece of you, body and soul and until there was nothing left but this subservient version of you, weak and obedient to his hands. He lapped you up, skilled tongue exploring through your folds only pausing to nibble at the soft skin of your thighs or kiss the round stomach above him. He felt extra possessive today, a desperate, anxious way about him as he devoured you so hungrily you wondered if he intended to eat you, swallow you whole to keep you with him forever; a communion, and you were the eucharist, a matrimony of cannibalism.

You wanted to tug at his hair, you wanted to entangle yourself in him but your belly was in the way, so you simply laid back and enjoyed as he tongue fucked you, prodding at your entrance, his hands on the globe where your child waits to be born.

“Fuck, Joel, need you, need to cum, please.”

You beg for him, plead, and he devours. Joel knows you love when his perfect, plus lips such at your mound and your clit with long fingers fingering into you, and you yelp when they curl up and hit that spot inside you. “Keep moaning, little one, let me hear you.”

You obliged. Sometimes you wondered how sick everyone in the house was of hearing you, but they weren’t the ones you needed to please; pleasing Joel kept you alive.

“I need you inside me, please” Nudging him with your leg as you cry for his cock. “Joel, I gotta have you inside me, I need to cum on your cock, please? Please, Joel-”

A wet, sloppy sound as he detached from you, and his eyes looked just as hungry as he acted while he crawled up. “You beg so pretty, little one, such a pretty little cock whore.”

But you didn’t have time for his talking, you needed him inside you, now; the hormones of the pregnancy had a mind of their own. You take a chance and push him down, watching Joel smile as you straddle his waist. “God, I just- just need you.”

“The take me, little one, take me”

You cry out as you sink down onto him, feeling your cunt split on him. “Fuuuck!” Sobbing, you take him fully and begin to fuck yourself on him.

“Just like that, pretty girl, fuck, taking me so well, gonna have you all stretched out to have this baby, huh? Gonna give me a child, little girl? A baby of our own? Fuck, fuck you look so pretty like this, swollen with my child, stretching your stomach as I stretch your cunt, fucking perfect, my perfect wife.”

Wife.

Wife?!

You knew Joel was delusional… but fuck, Lorenzo was right… you were playing house wife. Joel thought of you as his wife…

“Gonna fuck you full of my cum, again, and again, keep you constantly knocked up, make our happy little family, you and me and a dozen little kids running around, FUCK, our family, our family.”

You continued the pace, you couldn’t falter, you couldn’t slow down, you couldn’t hesitate; you couldn’t give any sort of reason for him to think you didn’t want this…

But it suddenly struck you

You were trapped. Joel trapped you with a baby, knowing you’d need him to protect it, knowing you’d never leave your child… and now he was going to keep you pregnant. You could never leave with 5,6,7 kids, it would be impossible.

“Yeah, fuck yourself on my cock little one, just little that…” Joel reached out to touch you, roughly manhandling your tits that were swollen and engorged.

You begin to cry, but that wouldn’t give away anything for Joel; he fucking loved that shit.

One hand on your breast, one on your clit. “Cry on my cock, baby girl, cry when you cum.”

You did, you sobbed as you came, your body betraying the horrors you felt at his hands.

Month 8

“Hey Joel? Can I talk to you about something?”

You had to do it. You had to. And it had to be now. You two had fucked less than half an hour ago and he was currently eating your food, humming contently. He was always lovey-dovey after sex, and was always much happier after food… The pair didn’t line up often, so now was your chance.

“What’s on your mind, little one? Nervous about being a mother? You’ll be a great mom; I just know it.” He smiled at you with puppy dog eyes, looking up from his plate, and you couldn’t help smiling back, not when he showered you with compliments.

“Well… you’ve said before you wanted lots of kids… but we… well this little baby was an accident.”

“A miracle, not an accident.” Joel corrected you. You didn’t see how conceiving a child the night he was threatening to blow your brains onto a wall for sleeping with his brother if you didn’t shoot said-baby’s uncle was a miracle… but you digress

“Right. Well… we never really talked about more kids… and although I’m over the moon about this baby, I did initially not want to have it.” Joel’s face began to darken, but you powered through. “Maybe we could see how we feel about one kid after a few years before thinking about-”

Joel slammed down his silverware. “What are you trying to say.”

But you freeze. This was a bad idea, you needed to placate immediately, you needed to calm him down. “N-nothing, Joel, just thinking out loud.”

He stood up, a deadly, blank stare on his face, so far removed from the adoration as he bestowed kisses on your ever-growing belly. Joel walked around the table, standing behind you and placing firm hands on your shaking shoulders, leaning into your ear.

“You say’n you don’t want my kids? Don’t wanna be their mama? You don’t wanna be my wife?”

“No, no that’s not-” But you don’t get a chance to finish, his hand is wrapped around your throat and insane strength pulling you up and out of the chair, the wooden furniture toppled to the side in a loud clatter. He slams the back of your head against the drywall, you’re toes barely touch the ground; struggling to breath, you claw at his hand, but he doesn’t even blink.

The panic begins to set it.

“YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE! YOU DO NOT GET TO MAKE CHOICES!” He screams, and out of the corner of your eye you watch as a few men hesitantly gather, like vultures waiting on the next piece of deadmeat. You couldn’t see who, but it didn’t matter. Even the good ones couldn’t intervene.

Joel’s face was suddenly right in front of yours. “Everything you have, any freedom, any luxuries, any power you think you have is because I have given it to you.” Black spots appeared, your vision blurring, sinking into the unknown and god, did it feel sweet. Was it finally over? “I bought you, I own you, you have no rights! You are nothing! You are nothing but a toy for me to play with, a breeding bitch and you should be so lucky to sit at my table!”

He let go, but as you gasped for breath, Joel yanked at your hair and patched you across the room, not letting go of his grasp on you as you flung into the counter. What he didn’t know, what he could never understand was how the handle of the draw rammed into the brand on your side. Suddenly, all sense, all rational went out the window, and you were violently thrust back to last year as he burned his initials into your skin. The flashbacks were triggered, and the result was nothing short of hysteria. You cry out for the only person who would step in.

“TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMYYYY” You scream, the fact Tommy was miles away didn’t matter, nor did the fact this would only anger Joel more. This didn’t matter; you wanted him, no one but him, and all sense was knocked out of you.

Joel pulls you up by your hair and slaps you hard enough that you taste blood and screams at you to not say Tommy’s name, but you can’t stop, you scream and scream and scream for him to come save you and your baby, the precious little life inside you that has never done anything wrong.

You fight and claw and panic, hysterics drowning out the one or two voices telling Joel to stop; who they belonged to, you couldn’t say.

Joel stopped listening, and the voices grow louder as Joel drags you, kicking and screaming, outside; rope and a chair in his hand, your hair in the other, and Joel walked with long strides to a tree outside.

****************

YEEEEEEESSSSHHHHHHHHHHH Cliiiiiff hanger, hanging from a cliiiiiiffff thats why he's caaaaallled, Cliff Hangers!

Who else used to watch Inbetween The Lions? Anyway.

Who wanna guess what happens!

Only two chapters left!

For the sake of credit, if you didn't find the superstore reference or dont watch the show, most of the dialogue between Joel and Lorenzo and LO was between Amy and Jonah from two birth related episodes of superstore

Also, Maura is named after my dear dear friend @maura-honey who although is not generally a fanfiction girlie, made a tumblr so she could read, like and reblog this series and always sends me such lovely messages <3

Reblogs are the best way to spread and support, but comments mean the world. I know not everyone likes to share dark content on their blog, but even a kind anon is such support!

for those who voted you dont like or hate or Lorenzo, I hope that doesn't mean you hate him as n he's a bad character. I got a comment on AO3 that said "i cant tell if i like lorenzo or not, but i like him in the story" which makes sense! His victim blaming is really fucking shitty.

no poll today, sorry!

MoonBanana said they think LO copes by lying to herself until she beleives it, what do y'all think? is she as delusional as joel?

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @howaboutcastiel @tidlewav3 @bunnnyy-dummy @slutfortimotheechalamet @foggymoonbanana @dinsbaby @miraclesabound @jenna-ortega @primosworld @marclovers @threeheadedlamb @secretwriterpp @the-fox-den

@bitchyglitterfox @0bsessedwithfictionalcharacters @alloftheboysivelovedbefore @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @lunar-ghoulie @pedritosdarling @dreamonseems @alwaysdjarin @amoramorquetepintas @milla-frenchy

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lemmetreatya · 1 year

Text

car washer!avdol who loves his job because of the flexible hours it gives him. being a part time Only Fans creator doesn’t bring in all the money so he helps wash cars at his father’s dealership.

hes been washing cars before he knew how to drive so doing so is second nature to him. whenever locals or frequent customers come, they always make sure its him who’s buffing up their rides.

“i only want my car cleaned if mo’s doing it!”

and his father will assure them with a hearty laugh that that’s the case.

“it’s his only job!” he’d muse back, the irony in his words undetected.

but then on some weeks, car washer!avdol‘s father would take a few days out and leave the garage solely to car washer!avdol. these are the days they dont do walk-ins so car washer!avdol knows hes unlikely to be disturbed during this spare time. car washer!avdol likes to film impromptu photo-shoots and car wash scenarios that he posts to his Only Fans. they’re not high quality — 720 at best — but they seem to be the most receptive content on his site.

but on one of his off days, car washer!avdol‘s father tells him he has someone who’s cashed in a favour; a good friend of his wanted to get his car washed and was having his daughter to deliver it off. of course he agrees because what harm in there was washing one extra car? More so, who was car washer!avdol to say no to his pops?

but when you arrive to the dealership with your father’s car in tow, faux minx jacket and large square sunglasses on, car washer!avdol sees you for what you truly are.

“ive seen your stuff by the way.” you say as you lean against the pillard wall. car washer!avdol only gives you an amusing look before asking:

“what stuff?”

“Your Only Fans stuff, what else?”

car washer!avdol is slightly thrown off because no one he knows in real life has confronted him about this before but once he hears your tinkly laugh, his interest is piqued.

“don’t worry, your secrets safe with me. if anything i find it kinda cool.” you say.

car washer!avdol has an inkling for where you’re taking this conversation but he doesn’t say anything just yet — in case his mouth betrays him.

stepping forwards towards your father’s soapy car, you stand just besides car washer!avdol with your arms crossed.

“you done anything apart from solo content?”

car washer!avdol shakes his head.

“never. but it’s always been on my list to do meet ups or at least film content with others.”

your eyes almost sparkle as you lean over your father’s car to give car washer!avdol a hooded look. he wants to tell you your clothes are getting wet from the soap but something tells him that was the intention.

“well, why don’t we film sumin now?”

it was his idea, but car washer!avdol has you sprawled out over the hood of your father’s car as he fucks into you from behind. he has his phone filming you both from the side and yours filming from inside the car on top of the dashboard.

your moans are pornographic as car washer!avdol’s thick cock hits all the right places and more! you can’t believe how deep he’s surging into you and a good portion of your brain urges you to tap out.

“i-i-i-ist…fuck…so fuggin’ full.”

words barely leave your throat whole as youre cheeks are pressed against the soapy bonnet of your father’s car. each thrust earns a grunt out of car washer!avdol‘s mouth — every one dragging you deeper and deeper into wanton pleasure.

car washer!avdol doesn’t even let you come down from your first orgasm before he’s tugging you over onto your back, your ankles adjacent to his ears.

“so…fucking…”

he cant even finish his words, car washer!avdol feels so hazy delving into your wet fruit that he almost looses his grip and makes you slip off the hood! luckily, you catch yourself in time and car washer!avdol buckles his legs to support you but it doesn’t take long before he’s finishing inside of you with a low and almost inaudible gasp.

car washer!avdol sends you back to your father with a clean car. he however, cannot say the same for you.

#muhammad avdol #jjba avdol #avdol #mohammad #mohammed avdol #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo x reader #jojos bizarre adventure #jojo #muhammed avdol x reader #muhammed avdol x black reader

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inej-ruination-ghafa · 2 years

Text

closure - J.S

evermore masterlist | marjorie | evermore

Warnings: mentions of sex, morning after, allusions to death, war, breaking up

Summary: you knew your relationship was just for fun but when he broke up with you to protect you, you weren't going to let that happen.

Wordcount: 1.2k

Your friends with benefits situation with jake seresin was complicated to say the least.

He was a naval aviator for the US navy and you were just a bar maid working in the nearby area.

For the last 6 months you had been sleeping together, grasping the warmth of the lonely nights and holding him tight when it all got too much.

There was something special about Jake seresin that you had never seen in anybody before.

He was cocky and arrogant and it seemed like he was the epitome of a narcissist. But with you, he was soft and caring and seemed like he wouldn't even hurt a fly.

It was something about him that you could study for hours, the switch of his personality when it came to someone he loved fascinated you.

It was a no strings attached situation but very quickly into it, you had fallen head over heels for the tall blonde man in ways you never thought you would.

His friend who was stationed with him, Phoenix, had warned you of his playboy ways. She had told you that he was known to sleep with girls and leave them quickly - although she did note that he seemed uncharacteristically attached to you.

You couldn't care less about whatever anyone else had to say about your unconventional relationship, it wasn't hurting either of you and you were getting something good out of it.

Or at least you were until one night as he held you under the covers, you could feel the tension in the air.

He was holding a secret from you and though you tried to ignore it, you couldn’t bear it. You took a deep breath, looking up at him to see he was staring at you.

“You know I can sense that something is wrong,” you said, not even looking at him. Something was going on and you needed to know.

He took a deep breath, looking down at you, a hand coming up to caress your cheek, the pad of his thumb tracing your cheekbone.

“Ive been called back to Top Gun for a mission and its going to be dangerous,” he explained, breath hitching in his throat, “I don’t know what its about, i just know that I might not make it back,”

You took a deep breath, averting your eyes from him. You didn't want him to see the tears pooling in the corner of your eyes as you thought about him not coming back. The words cut deep, down to the bone and you didnt know what you would do if he didnt come back.

He brushed the tears from your cheeks once they spilled over your waterline. You sat up, one of his old shirts covering your frame and he sat up as well, the covers falling off to show his nude torso.

He felt guilty for what he was about to do but he knew what was going to be the best thing for you, he knew he had to put something between you and him, something that would save you from the torment of losing someone.

“I think we should break up,” he said.

Your eyes darted to his, more tears spilling over as you contemplated what he had just said, “Excuse me?” You questioned, almost in disbelief.

Jake took a shaky breath before looking at you, “I think we should break up, I cant let you get hurt,” he said.

He thought that it would be the best thing for you, breaking your heart now before his permanent absence would

Jake expected you to just be another thing he regretted a wrinkle in your new life. You weren't going to stay friends after this and he was ready to accept it if it meant that you were going to be saved from the heartbreak of it all.

You were in shock, your upset turned into anger at his ridiculous reasoning. You weren't going to let him give up on the two of you so easily.

“You can't push me away!” You exclaimed, “I can't believe that you’re treating me lie some situation in the Navy that has to be handled. Like a job,”

He sighed, “My job is why I have to end it with you, I’ve seen women cry over their dead husbands and I can't do that to you,” he explained.

He seemed to think that breaking up with you and sparing you from being the girlfriend of a dead man was better then actually being there for him. He seemed to think that this was some sort of closure.

“Would you have married me Seresin? Do you have these feelings for me because clearly you care,” you explained, asking him that important question.

He sighed, biting his lip to keep the words in, “Of course I care about you Y/N and that’s why I can't let you get hurt,” he explained.

You shook your head, disagreeing completely with his absurd ideas.

“I’m going to leave now,” he said, standing up and reaching for his clothes, “I hope you have a good life babe,”

You knew he had told you not to come but you went to the air base with the second phoenix message and said that they were coming back. There were a handful of other people there, parents, husbands, wives, and a small child. You just couldn’t wait to see Jake again.

Other people started rushing towards their loved ones and Jake just started to walk ahead, not thinking anyone had turned up for him.

You froze on the spot the second you saw him, his hair rushed back in worry from his hands running through it and a defeated but proud look on his face.

You called out his name and he froze. He turned to look around for you and the second he saw you standing there, his jacket wrapped around your shoulder all time stopped.

He had told you to leave, that it would be better for you if you had no part in it all. This was the moment he knew that you were the one for him, the person he was ready to spend the rest of his life with.

Once the shock wore off, a smile lit up his face and he started running, feet heavy on the tarmac as he englufed you in a hug, lifting you up and spinning you around. You grinned as you held him tight, glad that he was alive.

As soon as he set you down and before you could talk to him and ask him how he was, he captured you in a kiss, a deep and passsionate kiss that meant that he loved you. It was a promise that

#jake seresin x y/n #jake seresin fic #jake seresin x you #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin #hangman seresin #hangman seresin x reader #hangman x you #hangman x reader #hangman x y/n #glen powell #mj writes nonsense #mj 500 followers celebration #mj 500 followers evermore celebration #evermore celebration #top gun #top gun x reader #top gun maverick #hangman top gun

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slashingdisneypasta · 8 months

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Hm... You know, you often compare yandere Wheezy to Mother Gothel. What if the situation between him and Y/N was something similarly to Mother Gothel and Rapunzel too?

Like maybe you two have known each other your whole lives. Or at least it feels like it (depending on when you guys met. Like high school or childhood or something). So it just felt natural to you when eventually you guys moved in together. It felt like a normal relationship had blossomed between you two. Granted, it was pretty lonely since everyone you get to know seems to leave one way or another... But you got your Wheezy. And he's got you. People say that as long as you have each other, it should be enough.

(And perhaps your Flynn Rider- perhaps a certain green weasel 👀- comes along when Wheezy isn't around for some reason. You get to hang out with somebody that isn't your boyfriend. And you realize how much of this you missed... And a lot more about your relationship.)

!! I cant believe this has taken me so long to respond to 😅😅 Especially since I am minorly obsessed with Gothel-YanWheezy semblance! XD I think I probably saw it during Placement but cuz of everything that was going on I just kindof... flew over it. I'm sorry, here have waffle 🧇

I- love- this! Wheezy keeping you for himself?? Wheezy manipulating his childhood friend into being his girlfriend- live-in fiancé- then wife?!! And Greasy being Y/N's secret flirty friend!???? So terrible and wholesome !

I know this isn't what you were talking about, but I couldn't help myself. Here's basically that scene at the end of Tangled when Rapunzel/Y/N tells Gothel/Wheezy that she'll stay, and be good, and never ever try to escape... so long as she's allowed to save Flynn/Greasy.

Yandere!Wheezy Weasel x Reader x Greasy Weasel || Drabble

*this Wheezy kinda gives off the same vibes as Otis in this specific gif, so... 😅

Plot: ->

"No! I wont stop. For every minute of the rest of my life, I will fight! I will never stop trying to get away from you! ... But if you let me save him,.. I will go with you. I'll never run, I'll never try to escape. Just let me heal him, and you and I will be together. Forever, just like you want."

Warnings: Greasy has gunshot wounds in his abdomen, gets his fingers crushed, and gets ash in his eyes. Wheezy puts you down and is, yaknow, a monster- Also it's unedited right now.

"Y/N, c'mon." The tone in Wheezy's voice is calm as ever, relaxed, even bored; But the way his teeth are grit despite not having a smoke in his mouth right now and how his knuckles are white gripping the rope wrapped tightly around his strong fist gives him clean away. His eyes flash behind a wall of smoke, down at you- and Greasy. On the ground. "Time to finish up, here. Timeta go. He's not goin' anywhere."

Tears are overflowing in your eyes, on the ground by Greasy- He's still sitting up but he's bleeding out fast, the bullet holes in his stomach turning his green suit a deep red. Almost black. He clutches the wound and glares up at Wheezy, but his eyes soften when they turn down to you again; Noticing you crying over him. "Mi amore... wipe yo- " As soon as Greasy attempts to reach over and comfort you, Wheezy steps lazily on his hand creeping along the ground. Not only does he step down but he slowly crushes the bones before your wide, horrified eyes. Its a small sign of uncharacteristic spitefulness, viciousness that is so unlike him, a side of him you swear you swear you swear you didn't know about. You swear. You want Greasy to know that! You desperately try to tell him that, with your eyes, because Wheezy would surely hurt him worse if you said them outload. "... its okay." He continues, voice cracking through the unimaginable pain. He's somehow still as off-puttingly charming as ever and it makes you wish you weren't so hopelessly blind about Wheezy even harder. God!-

If you had been aware, caught the red flags, noticed everything that Wheezy must have been doing all this time- even just one thing- then you never would have brought Greasy into this, never would have befriended him, never would've ever responded to his dumb cheap flattery. You would have pushed right by him that day you met and he would've felt the sting of rejection but that would have been it. Neither of you would have fallen in as ill-fated love as you have, he wouldn't be bleeding now, he wouldn't die- "Y/N, get up."

... Sniffling, you shake your head. "No, I- Ah!" As soon as you shook your head, Wheezy had rolled his eyes up and yanked at the rope- which is tied to your wrists behind your back.

"Gettin' on my nerves, doll... move your ass."

"No, Wheezy, he'll- " Finally turning and looking at your- at Wheezy, you flash a defiant glare. Theirs a desperate tone in your voice and you wonder why you still think he'll listen. He's not your Wheezy anymore. He's someone else entirely. Why are you still begging him?? "He'll die!" Because you dont have a choice. Greasy will die here.

"Yeah... kinda the point." After heaving a smoky sigh, and not even seeming to notice Greasy's glower up at him (Or not caring), Wheezy flicks the flat of his cap up his forehead and picks a loose smoke out from behind his ear; sticking it between his teeth and searching for his lighter in his pockets. "Sweetheart I think maybe you're not gettin' this." Finding the lighter, Wheezy carefully lights his cigarette; the end glowing, now. "That's alright, I guess," He thinks outloud, giving a tiny and half asses shrug as he folds the smoke and his hand back into his pant pocket. "'ts better if yer dumb."

"I- I'm no- "

"Yeah, y'kinda are." He huffs out a sigh, and dirty, stinky smoke flies out the corners of his mouth. You know he's referring to all those years he played you, and it shuts you up. Maye he's right...

God-

"No. No no no, Y/N, you are no- you are not dumb. Listen to me- ah," Struggling and grimacing, Greasy drags himself with his good hand a few inches closer to you. Then he uses that hand to squeeze his bullet wounds - which, now that you're looking at him again through the tears, have really done a number on him. The bags under his eyes are disgustingly deep... its makes your guts ache. He's going to die here and its all your fault, - and his useless, broken hand to reach for you once again. He never learns!- "You're very intelligent. Don't listen to him, listen to me. Its going to be o- " You're just wondering, wide eyed, how he can still be comforting you right now when Wheezy kicks his hand away, causing Greasy to growl and squeeze his eyes shut, forcing the pain away.

"... Damn. Grease, you really are fucken something. How many times have I toldya over the years just ta keep your hands ta yerself?? If you'd listened to me, we wouldn't be here."

Breathing through the pain, making his voice steady somehow, Greasy cracks his eyes open; Glancing upwards to Wheezy with a disgusting feral look in his eyes. "Mark my words, fumador... I am going to ruin you, for this."

Looking immeasurably bored, shoulders dropped and eyes half-hooded as he takes his smoke out between two of his fingers and blows out a cloud of grey, Wheezy shakes his head. "Ehhh, somehow I doubt it... "

Wheezy looks thoughtful for a moment at his cig, before shrugging like why not? and - without looking at either of you, - taps some hot, dusty ash directly into Greasy's eyes off the end before flicking the rest away to the ground. Greasy hisses and lets go of his abdomen in order to wipe the bloody heels of his hands into eyes to get the burning hot ash out of his eyes as hurriedly get a tissue from your pocket and go to help him, but-

"Uh uh uh," Wheezy wraps the rope a few more times around his hand and his wrist and forces you up onto your feet, digging his fingers into the back of waist band and holding you still. "Come on, lets go."

"No!" The rope around your waist digs through your shirt into your skin and the rope winding up your forearms rub but you fight- try not to move- not to leave- but now that you're on your legs its harder to stay still. Wheezy's tall, and his limbs are long and sinewy and like rock, and so far he hasn't even tried to use that against you.

"Fightin' it's just gonna make it worse, (Nickname). And whether ya believe it or not, I do not get my kicks outta this." Just behind you, you feel him shrug again; against your back. "Jus' not my idea of a Saturday night, I guess. I will hurt ya if y'make me, though."

"Let me- "

"Are you gonna ask me to let ya go??" He sounds genuinely disappointed, groaning, like he's watching a soap and his favourite character did something ill-advised that he disapproves of. He's acting like he's on a job Smartass forced him into! Like he's only half here- have on the back porch smoking a couple packs. Like ruining your life and killing his best friend is just shit that he's 'gotta do'. "C'mon, doll, you're better then tha- "

"Let me save him."

This gives Wheezy pause. You're not facing him so you turn, wanting to see how he's taking that and why he's so silent, catching him looking cold and vicious again. Those blue eyes have never looked icier, and his jaw is set tight, and he has never seemed taller. Right now he's like 30 story skyscraper. You feel so small... until- "Nope."

He tries again to walk off with you but you glance at Greasy, head bowed against the ground and the puddle of his own blood around him, just trying to focus on breathing slowly, and your heart sinks. You know you can't leave him like that. You absolutely can't. You love hi-

Mm. Setting a determined look on your face, you grab Wheezy- yanking back to you by his vest and holding on tight. You need him to look at you, you need him to pay attention. You need him to listen to you.

Once last time. One last time, Wheezy... please, please...

Once, at some point, he must have really loved you in that soft way that you're supposed to love people- where you want them to be happy and want you back- and he has to have a little bit of that left. You have to believe that he does, at least. Because that is the part you need to hear you, right now.

"If you don't let me save him I will be trying to get away from you for the rest of our lives. You will never catch a break. You will never rest. Because the moment you do, I will be out the window trying to get back... to him... " Tightening your grip even more on his vest as Wheezy looks unimpressed, you go on; vanquished and gone of all your fight, all but a little bit. Enough to save Greasy. "... But if you do let me... "

"Nn... Y/N, no- "

When you don't go on, scared of what you're about to say and horrified at Greasy's state, Wheezy narrows his eyes at you to spur you to go on again. Taking a deep breath, you look away from Greasy and give Wheezy a quiet, sincere nod; brushing your foreheads together you're so close. "-If you let me heal him, then we can go together, and I will not try to escape. I will never, ever, leave you... We can fall in love again. I can do that! I will do it." You nod again, assuring you and him. Tears gather in your eyes but they just prove you're telling the truth, so you let them go. "You can have everything you want, we can go wherever you want, I'll be whoever you me to be...

Just let me heal him."

You search his eyes for a full minute, waiting for him to respond. Your tears fall down your cheeks and he watches them go and drip down off your chin onto the collar of your shirt, thinking... until his gaze nudges upwards to your eyes again; chewing something in the back of his mouth. "Fall back in love with me, huh? Y'can do that?"

Sniffling, you carefully nod. "Yes." Or something like love. Something disgusting, but similar. He wont be able to tell the difference.

Wheezy's icy, slate-grey eyes scrutinise you up so close, and you hold your breath- and you hold him, because he's holding all the cards and that's all you can do.

#you'll notice that wheezy chucks out a cigerette he only just started in this 😂😂#there is your true sign that he is 'different' here XD #Wheezy Weasel #Wheezy Weasel x Reader #Greasy Weasel #Greasy Weasel x Reader #Disney Villains #Drabble #Disney Villains x Reader #Yandere

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chawarin-panich · 1 year

Text

cant believe big dragon would be something i need to sit with/sleep on. really the most confusing part for me last ep was their conversation because what were they even saying? it was like everything they said kept flying over each other's head and it was so frustrating because it felt like they had their points and were having roughly the same conversation but also...not? and i have to thank @lelephantsnail for her tags on my post because it really helped streamline my thought about this.

this kind of subtle and nuanced form of miscommunication is not only unprecedented in thai bl but rare in media overall. however, it happens all the time in real life - where you are having a conversation and you understand each other's words perfectly but not each other's meaning/perspective.

b/c the truth is as fuckboi extraordinaires they have different stakes in this issue of Mangkorn's engagement and they're both right to prioritize their own skin in this game - in fact it's the healthy thing to do.

So some of the critical points of miscommunication in this convo (according to me) under the cut

whether or not to share this secret:

this was hard because on one hand mangkorn is trying to set a boundary and he does it in a fairly decent way: there's something im dealing with and i need time to deal with this and ill tell you everything when im ready. But...this is a fairly insane boundary to set with your lover esp when this 'problem' directly affects your relationship. Yai is right to demand to know more because you cannot deal with a problem affecting a relationship one-sidedly. But Mangkorn is also operating here in good faith - he has no intention of betraying Yai, he has all intentions of being with him so why does he have to admit something that will make yai misunderstand and leave him? Mangkorn wants a chance because being duplicitous is not his intention or his goal and its not fair that Mangkorn has to sacrifice his chance at love because of something that was decided for him. But Yai needs a chance too! A chance to decide if he wants to pursue this relationship despite the risks. And this is a good thing! Perhaps putting your life on hold for the dude you've been hate pining over and had one night of hate-love fucking is not the best idea! And thinking about his own heart and impending heartbreak is the right move.

He corners Mangkorn into telling him and Mangkorn tries his best to curtail the pitfalls - you'll understand me, right? im scared you'll leave me so you'll stay by my side right? - and Yai's answer 'its better than knowing nothing' isn't a promise that he will stay with Mangkorn. He's saying that at this point the only chance Mangkorn has of keeping him is by telling the truth. But Mangkorn hears what he needs to hear to tell Yai the truth. And so when Yai's reaction is this:

When Yai's first reaction is to think about himself and not focus on how difficult this situation is for Mangkorn (which it is!) it feels like a huge betrayal!

I had warned him it wasn't going to be easy and he reassured me we will be fine (he hadnt) so why is he saying this to me now? All I'm asking is for him to keep faith so why is he assuming the worst of me?

and Yai isn't assuming the worst of Mangkorn but of the situation itself but you can understand why Mangkorn feels so attacked because he's all raw and vulnerable from sharing something he did not want to share and his partner has reacted in exactly the way he was afraid of the most despite him saying he wouldn't react in that way (yai hasn't said anything of the sort)

And then being classic fuckbois - which honestly relatable - they say the absolute worse thing they could have to each other:

its like they picked the one thing the other was most insecure about and threw it in their faces which honestly was almost comic. they have tried for this long to talk like normal human beings and at the most critical moment of showing support and reaffirming commitment - they both default to their baser instincts of running away from hard things [which fair lmao].

And l love that they are able to call each other out on it! That they don't take the stoic okay that's done then bye! route. Mangkorn expresses what's hurting him - you're my partner and you're supposed to support me - and yai expresses whats hurting him - was giving me a choice in this relationship ever important to you? And of course Mangkorn just gets down to it. Things are spiraling and there's really one way out of this where they can stay together: that despite all the hurtful things they just said to each other - is there a way out of this together Yai knows what Mangkorn needs to hear but Yai answers in a way that is consistent with what he's shown is important to him: honesty and god is it heartbreaking and the way Bank plays it here is so GOOD

So no this conversation achieves nothing and narratively the two characters will engage in the terrible decision making that they would have had they not been so real with each other - Mangkorn will try to run away and Yai tries to distract himself. But boy, if they are to come back to each other in a way that feels realistic and not in a fantastical 'true love conquers all' copout way that can really only ever happen in stories, then having this conversation was absolutely critical.

#big dragon #mangkornyai #big dragon meta #big dragon the series #this is one of the longest meta i have ever written for a show #let alone for one scene #big dragon and its surprising amount of depth is a slap to the face for sure #gotta go and cleanse my heart!#i was promised nonsense! and i was given it! but with a side of whatever this is #nani's hot takes

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rainydaydally · 10 months

Text

You’re like the light of my life

WARNINGS:

Dysphoria

Sexuality crisis

Insecurity

Crying/Kinda a mental breakdown

Jealousy

F-slur

Cartman is homophobic but in a joke way (hes gay)

Unsafe binding (I don’t think you are supposed to swim in a binder, but I’m not sure!)

The Broflovski family is staying in a hotel after camping, and Shiela and Gerald are napping in one bed, and Ike is napping in the other. Kyle, however, is laying next to Ike, wide awake. He takes his mind off of everything, starting to use pinterest on his phone. He gets bored pretty quickly, so he places it next to his head. As he stares at the white ceiling of the hotel, he starts to think. Think about way too much confusing things he cant help but focus on. He thinks about his sexuality, his friends, his looks- *especially* his looks. He sighs, fighting back tears as he grabs his headphones and phone and walks to the bathroom. He stares at himself in the mirror, listening to Mac DeMarco, as he feels tears fall from his eyes. He cries and cries, and he moves to sit on the closed toilet lid, knees up to his chest, tears spilling uncontrollably. He takes his phone out to text his friend, Stan.

“Hey. Can you call?”

No reply. “He’s probably busy.” He thinks to himself, setting his phone down. He decides to call Cartman, which even though he hates him, he can still cheer him up with his blunt and annoying comments and jokes. Kyle tries opening up to him about his sexuality, which he has also been really confused about. Cartman just says “F*g.” which causes him and Kyle to burst into a silent laughter, making it funnier that he cant laugh, or he will wake his family. After Kyle angrily hangs up on Cartman after some dumb shit he was saying, he goes and sits against the wall, and continues crying. He wipes his nose and his eyes but the tears never seem to stop coming. He’s just so, so confused. One day he will think he’s AroAce, and the next day he will get butterflies when he sees a cute boy at a store. He feels like everyone around him is getting into stable relationships now, like Stan and Wendy. Oh how he wishes he had a relationship like them, they seem so perfect. Suddenly, his phone lights up.

“Yeah.”

It’s Stan.

“Nevermind.”

Kyle quickly replies back, he doesn’t want Stan to see him so hysterical.

“Oh, okay.”

“Can I tell you something??”

Kyle texts, instantly regretting his decision.

“Of course.”

Stan replies. Kyle can almost hear the text in Stan’s voice, as if he was right next to him. Before Kyle knows it, he’s confessing deep, dark secrets to Stan over text. His fingers tapping the letters quickly.

“Okay, so this is stupid. But, I feel like everyone loves someone, or someone loves them. I know we are still young but im just so ugly and unwantable and I feel like I might be Aromantic Asexual, but I’m just so confused because I want a relationship. I really have never had someone have a crush on me because I’m so ugly and I’ve always been the ugly one too, and I feel like I’m nothing. Most of the guys are so handsome, and I really dont fit in compared to the rest of them. When we were on vacation at the beach I just felt so sick and insecure because you guys (not trying to be weird) looked really good in your bathing suits, but I just felt uncomfy and I just didnt fit in with you guys.”

“I can’t believe I just texted Stan that.” He thinks, and Stan seems to be taking hours to respond, even though it’s only been 5 seconds at the maximum.

“You are not ugly, I really don’t think you are ugly.”

Why did Kyle feel a feeling in his stomach when Stan had texted him that? Stan not only said he wasnt ugly, but he said HE really doesn’t think he is.

“You definitely fit in. We don’t care what you look like. You think you are ugly, but no one is our friend group thinks you are ugly.”

Kyle smiles, “Except Cartman.” He thinks to himself. An other text appears.

“I’m sorry but what does aromantic asexual mean?”

Kyle knew this would happen. Most people don’t know what it means He tries to explain it, hoping Stan will understand what he’s trying to say.

“Thanks so much, Dude. Also, it means like you’re not attracted to anyone and dont wanna have sex with anyone basically. But I’m just not sure yet because I’ve never had a crush where the other person really liked me. I mean, I’ve dated people but it was mostly over text and facetime. We never hugged or kissed or anything. I’m probably just asexual, but sometimes I have a crush on someone and later it goes away.”

Kyle continues.

“And I’ve only kissed two people before, and I know thats two more than most people our age. I just feel really terrible for not feeling anything towards them. I mean, they were both girls, so I could be gay.”

Kyle desperately wants to tell Stan about his dysphoria, how his mother keeps telling him he looks just like her, and that he hates how feminine his body is getting. He does not say a word.

“You do have that rizz. I’ve never really talked to anybody in a romantic way before besides Wendy… and that hot sub we had in 3rd grade.”

“Dude! Gross! Also thanks. I just don’t know if I want it, I guess. I mean, your first kiss is supposed to be magical, but I felt nothing. I didn’t think I’d be kissing a girl in a pool bathroom who never even thought of me romantically.”

It was Bebe. Now she acts like nothing happened, but it did, and she knows it did. She is so perfect and pretty and smart, so why didn’t he like her?

“I wasted it. It sucked.”

“Wow. You never told me that before.”

Stan replies. Kyle feels bad for not sharing it with him before, but it just never seemed appropriate.

“Yeah. I’m still friends with her, and I don’t want to seem mean, but I really wasted my first kiss.”

“You know how in the movies their first kiss is like amazing magical stuff? Well, we are weird, crazy teenagers that go through stuff and things do not always go according to plan, and that’s ok. I know you will find a perfect kiss one day.”

Kyle really wants to just text Stan right then and there and tell him everything, that Stan sometimes gives him butterflies, and when the backs of their hands graze he feels his face heat up. He can’t tell him that, though, obviously. He doesn’t want to ruin Stan and Wendy’s relationship over a *maybe* crush.

“Dude, I don’t deserve you, I love you so much. You are way too kind and caring.”

“I love you too, bro.”

Stan replies. Kyle feels a smile grow on his face.

“Also, I don’t mean to be nosy, but who was your first kiss?”

Kyle was really hoping Stan wouldn’t ask that.

“She would get mad if I told you.”

Is all Kyle replies with.

“That’s okay.”

Kyle continues with his rant.

“I’m going through so much right now though. I hate being trans so much, I’m so jealous of everyone who isn’t tbh.”

“I’m sorry, I’m glad you are telling me so I can try my best to help you through it.”

Kyle sighs. How can Stan be so kind to him? Like he said before, he really doesn’t deserve to be best friends with such a sweet boy.

“I love you so much, you’re like the light of my life.”

Kyle jokes, smiling while thinking about hanging out with Stan.

Suddenly, theres a loud knock at the door. “Kyle? Kyle, are you in there?” “Oh shit, it’s mom!” He thinks. “Yeah!” He replies, trying not to have his voice break from the crying that was happening before. “Kyle, we’re going to the pool soon. Ike and Dad already left. Do you want to come? I know you’re uncomfortable at the pool-” “I’ll go. Give me a second, though.” Kyle grumbles, sitting up and wiping his tears with the back of his hand. He would be looking foward to the pool- he really loves to swim- but lately he’s been so uncomfortable going, like his mom said. He hates going because he doesn’t know what to wear, and if he wears his binder with his trunks people give him such weird looks. He changes into the clothes nonetheless and steps outside the bathroom, arms crossing over his chest.

Shiela must have noticed he was insecure, because she went up to him and hugged him. “You are such a wonderful son, Kyle.” Kyle feels his stomach turn as he tries his best to hold back his tears, but they spill out again. Instead this time, he isn’t silent. His sobs are loud as he holds onto his mother. She lets go of the hug and walks him to sit on the edge of the bed together. “Are you okay? Is there anything I can do?” She asks. He shakes his head, wiping his tears. “Can we just stay like this for a while?” He asks. “Of course.”

AO3 Link: You’re like the light of my life

Wattpad Link: You’re like the light of my life

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margalitarry · 2 years

Text

almost together | h.s

~~~~~~~~~~~

warnings: sexual references, being intoxicated, roofing drinks, mafia!harry, jealous!harry, angst, fluff, lil mix of it all.

word count: 2.5k

note: i cant tell if i love or hate this because it’s 1am and IDK BUT ENJOY <3 also this is a y/n fic, avery marks is simply y/n’s alter ego.

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~

you gleamed at your work partner, harry styles, as you walked into a high-class party. despite being in a little black dress, you were on a mission tonight.

you and harry styles had been working together for a little less than a year now, you would like to say you’re friends but he insists ‘work partners can’t be friends’. although harry easily gave off a dark, mysterious and almost evil aura; you knew the boy in a way many didn’t.

“our guy is sitting there at the bar in the blue blazer, brown hair. next to the douchebag.” harry whispered into your ear, putting an arm around you as he smiled at the partygoers near him.

“i can definitely get him alone, let me do my thing.” you quietly said, more than whispering being unable to reach his height.

he rolled his eyes at knowing what you wanted to do, go and seduce the target. harry won’t deny that it works amazingly well, but something always made him uncomfortable. watching you smiled aimlessly at the older men as they looked at you like candy. it pissed him off more than anything, nevertheless he never said anything.

“go right ahead then, he has the watch in his left wrist. i’ll stand over near that pillar to the right of the entrance.” harry told you, as you both went your separate ways.

you turned on your earpiece, putting on an ear cuff to blend the small equipment in easily as you walked over to the bar. the target met your eyes almost immediately, sending him an innocent yet suggestive smile. finally you approach him and his stranger.

“hi handsome, catching my eyes from across the room?” you said to the man, giving his partner a look of lust as well.

“and what’s your name young lady?” the target man asked you.

“marks, avery marks sir. and yourself? both of you?” you eagerly asked the men, trying not being obvious.

“my coworker’s name here is actually mark plath! i’m jameson valent darling. what’d you come over here to talk about?” the target man, jameson, said.

you overhear harry in your ear saying something but you couldn’t make it out. you glanced over to see him speaking with an older woman, which sent heat through your body.

“a few things, some of them just between you and i.” you suggested, putting your hand on top of his while making eye contact. you break it for a second to look at his watch, but not blatantly.

“go find theodora, plath. i need to speak to miss marks one on one i believe” he told his coworker, still looking at you the whole time.

once mark had left, jameson invited you to take his seat next to him. he offers to buy you a drink, which you’ll never say no too.

you always said yes because you knew eventually the man would try and roofie you. although they never seemed to make it that well of a secret because you always knew. tonight’s plan was a little more advanced, even for you.

harry watched you and jameson laugh and talk for about 15 minutes, the conversation hadn’t been going anywhere but you had that look and he trusted you. he watched jameson touch your hands and thighs, you only just brushing off the gesture. it was driving harry nearly insane.

“how about just one more drink sweet girl? we can discuss a few things further in private afterwards.” jameson asked, looking you up and down thinking you were the easiest women in his life.

you nodded and prepared for him to roofie your drink. you were certainly drunk at this point as jameson had kept buying shots and encouraging strong drinks. you had a fairly high tolerance though and tried to focus on your environment.

you turned you back to him to look at harry, who had been intently staring at you the whole time. you felt chills down your spine and he gave you the slightest smile and widened his gaze causing you to turn around.

“hey what is that over there? on the stage behind you?” you asked jameson.

as his body turned around, pure adrenaline bursted at your seams as you switched the drinks around. jameson having the drink you believed was roofied, and was really hoping.

“what? it’s just the band setting up?” he said, confused.

“i thought i saw something weird, i’m not sure. cheers though!” you raised your glass as did jameson, clinking them together and taking down the last whiskey shot.

“please wait for me while i go to the ladies room before we head out? i just need a moment.” you more told than asked him, leaving as he said sure.

you have harry a side eye as you made your way through the party to the bathroom doors. harry followed you into the single person bathrooms.

“i need to stall for about five minutes before we continue.” you said, slightly slurring your words as a result of the alcohol taking over your senses.

“are you okay? why do you need to stall? did he say something?” harry asked you, he had heard most of your conversation with him but nothing seemed significant.

“i switched our drinks, im almost positive he tried to roofie me. it’ll teach him a lesson and we’ll get our watch.”

harry slightly gaped at what you had said you did but started to laugh. you mindlessly smiled at him, sending a heat to his cheeks he was happy you didn’t notice.

“let’s go help him out before someone else does.” harry said, letting you exit the bathroom before he did.

you walked back to the bar and found jameson exactly in the same seat, he looked awfully sweaty in comparison to before.

“you ready to head out sir?” you asked him, only getting the slightest head nod in return from him. it was clear jameson was freaking out over his uncontrollable condition, but was doing his best to hide it.

you took his hand to help him stand as he nearly toppled you over trying to stand on his feet. you looked for harry for guidence, but he wasn’t anywhere to be seen. you immediately get anxious and stressed, but head towards the exit as quickly as you can with jameson getting worse and worse. followed with your own state not getting any better.

“i’m in the front, the car we arrived in. just get him out here and i’ll help.” you heard harry talk in your earpiece, sending the slightest relief through you.

eventually you made your exit, and harry hopped out of the drivers seat to help take the weight of jameson. he had lost almost all of his muscle control at the point and was extremely difficult to move on your own. you helped harry get him situated in the back seat before you both headed into the car yourself.

“where the fuck do we go now?” you asked harry, stressed about the man in your backseat.

“i say a random field. id love to use a warehouse but our mission wasn’t exactly to kidnap the target unfortunately.” he sarcastically replied, beginning to drive.

he opened the middle compartment to reveal one single item, a rumors by fleetwood mac cd. he popped it into the cd player and let the the tunes fill the rest of the still air in the car.

you looked over at harry driving, and he looked perfect. his once buttoned up shirt was slightly askew now, revealing parts of his chest. his hair fell perfectly, despite running his hand through it every other minute. sure harry was good looking, but usually not this much right?

“you look really pretty right now. like a disney prince almost. but even better” you drunkenly ramble, not really caring what you were saying in the moment.

“pretty hmm? don’t think i’ve heard that one before.”

“well it’s absolutely true. you looks pretty all the time to me.” you continue to spill

“you drive me crazy sometimes you know that?”harry said, his cheeks once again heating up by your words.

harry pulled into a field after about 45 minutes of driving, he told you you could stay in the car even though you insisted to help. you both got out of the car and stared at jameson, who was awake but had no idea of his surroundings. harry began to pick him up.

“are we just gonna leave him here?” you asked as harry carried the larger man out of the car, setting him on the grass.

“yeah, it’s about all we can do.”

you took the watch off of his wrist and put it into your pocket. you and harry headed back into the car and both subconsciously sighed at the same time.

“why won’t you let us be more than work partners?”

harry was taken aback by your sudden question; he had honestly forgotten the amount of times he had told you that. in reality though, harry was just scared to let you into his life like that. he understood you weren’t in a much better situation than him, but he would hate to get you wrapped up in anymore than you were already.

“because we just shouldn’t be, it’ll be better for both of us.” harry told you, going back to his defensive state anytime you brought it up.

“but you don’t know that! we’ve never just hung out, just talked. i just want to know you better.” you confessed to him.

harry slammed his hands into the steering wheel in a burst of frustration; causing you to involuntary jump at the action and unexpected sound.

“because of that! because i don’t want to hurt you and i’m scared i would.” harry said, referring to you jumping at his frustration. you both knew by this point you weren’t referring to being only friends.

“you don’t have to be scared of something that won’t happen. please just try it out harry, we can make it work.”

“why won’t you just listen to me? this, us, cannot work out. ever notice how life is fine together every other moment we don’t talk about things like this?” harry said raising his voice at you.

“then stop doing things to make me believe you want to be with me! stop staring down every person who’s spoken to me, stop speaking for me during a conversation, stop touching me in public. this is not one sided!” you shouted back at him as your eyes started to burn.

“there is absolutely nothing more i want than to be with you y/n. but i just can’t do it, it’s me.” harry sighed out, his voice cracking slightly near the end of his sentence.

“so what’s stopping you? absolutely nothing but yourself! you are the one holding yourself back from this!” you pleaded with him.

you and harry both had never felt this way for each other liked you did in that moment. although you both had been just been shouting, you never felt closer with each other. neither of you opened up before this day, there was small disagreements and disappointments but it was never like this before.

“i know i am, because you are the last person i want to get wrapped up in my shit of a life! you don’t deserve that.”

“you’re telling that to your year long partner who goes on international illegal missions with you, in exchange for money. and you think you’re the only one with a shit life? you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” you said, shouting near the end, you had began to sob at this point.

harry thought you looked beautiful. even with your mascara across your face and desperate look; that had both been a a result of him. he still thought you looked beautiful. his heart began to ache the longer he fully acknowledged your presence. no, you had never properly ’hung out’, but you both truly understood each other.

harry also knew you were right, he knew you didn’t have it the easiest at times and still struggle to this day. everything he had said to you; you had a counter argument that he couldn’t deny.

so even while driving, he kissed you. your faces were closer than you realized, and you immediately melted into his mouth. the kiss was extremely short, but felt like it lasted hours. he pulled back from your face first. looking at the road ahead before looking back at you, speechless.

he couldn’t tell if you were angry, happy, shocked, or anything. you had just been sitting there with you mouth slightly ajar and your lips much redder than they were earlier today.

“you should know by now i care about you, i don’t think i ever couldn’t.” harry said, taking a breath before he continued.

“the idea of hurting you stresses me out, i wouldn’t want to ever do that to you.”

you had felt every emotion at once, you couldn’t have been happier he kissed you but at the same time you were pissed off he did. no, it wasn’t fair the way it happened but you were content with him opening up in this moment.

“then you wouldn’t, you don’t have to do something you don’t want to do harry.” you softly told him.

“but i cant promise myself i wouldn’t! that’s the issue.” he said, frustrated with his emotions as well. he pulled the car into you apartment complex and put it in park.

“i won’t let you hurt me, please just let yourself open up to me.” you begged him, trying to promise him things you didn’t know were true or not.

“just come stay the night with me please?” you asked him, looking into his eyes which were saying so much but nothing.

he sighed, putting his head onto the steering wheel and letting out a slight ‘fuck me’ you just hardly could hear. you took one of his hands from underneath him and just held it, still looking at him.

he looked up at you again, and you looked exhausted. it was nearly two in the morning, and harry was more tired than he realized. his head was telling him to not go with you, to save you from himself. if it was up to his head right now, he would leave the country for you. but his heart loved you more.

“yeah sure, let’s go.” harry finally said, letting you both gain a smile on your face as you got out of the car and headed home together, for the first time.

#fanfic #angst #harrystyles #harry #styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles #harry styles one shot #mafia!harry #harry styles angst #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry x reader #one direction #fine line #harry’s house #hs1

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oatsareyummy · 10 months

Text

out of all the really good farming games I've played, and the farming games i wouldn't recommend (sun haven), nothing has come close to the feelings i have playing stardew valley except coral island. the game isn't even out of early access yet and i cant stop obsessing over it. ive played the game since alpha, and I've loved watching the world grow and expand.

it feels almost like a marriage of a bunch of farming/life sims, executed really well.

i adore the way the game looks, everything from the character designs to the environments, to the building layouts. its just so cute.

i can't wait to delve further into decorating, bc all the furniture is so cute!! im hoping that with time, there will be tons more furniture. it already looks like there's a bunch.

i like the bug catching, and museum completion, feels like a nice twist on the animal crossing mechanics. the mines feel like an interesting spin on stardew's mechanic with descending floors. the fishing mechanic is a bit annoying, but I'm not sure if it will get easier the more you fish/level up the skill/get better gear. i have not been able to delve much into the library but i believe you'll be able to return books there. the town ranking system reminds me a little of the workshop ranking in my time at portia. i like it.

pufferfish is such a chilling and direct villain, reflective of real world issues. i really enjoy cleaning up trash, being able to recycle/make things with it. i know eventually we'll be able to restore the recycling center, but im not sure if that's been added into the game yet.

the farming is nice, so is the ranching. i cant wait for the next update with the last of the ranch animals. i also can't wait for pets!!

the characters are really fun to talk too. they all seem to have interesting stories, from what I've been able to see so far. also all the romanceable characters are hot, and mayor connor seems much less... menacing? than lewis does in Stardew valley. to me, anyway. maybe he's for a secret backstory, idk lol.

the seasonal outfits for the characters (only spring and summer are out right now) are so cute!! asleep all the clothes for sale are ridiculously cute.

i can't wait for the merfolk to be a really fleshed out feature. yes, i want to marry a mermaid princess. that's cool as hell

the game is still in early access, and can be a bit buggy, but i don't think any farm sim has enchanted me like this since stardew valley

#coral island #stardew valley #i do not recommend sun haven #but every other farming sim I've played has been enjoyable #coral island just feels like a special one. the devs also just seem so cool #and so communicative with the community #you love to see it

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ragnvdnir · 2 years

Text

GENSHIN MEN WITH LYRICS FROM ALL TOO WELL (10 MINUTE VERSION) (TAYLOR'S VERSION) [PART 1]

SYNOPSIS — various scenarios with genshin characters and lyrics from all too well (part 2 soon!)

CHARACTERS — albedo, ayato, childe, diluc, kaeya, kazuha, xiao, thoma (w/ gn!reader)

INCLUDES — angst, fluff, breakups, domestic life, deaths, a mix of modern au and original setting, failed proposal, albedo losing control, reader aging old, secret affairs, reader settling in for less, noble!reader at one scene

NOTES — i added a little bit of champagne problems with dilucs second part, i hope you don't mind :")) and i also decided to split this in half since its getting long. oh and every character has two scenarios each, the others are on the part two.

“I walked through the door with you, the air was cold. But something 'bout it felt like home somehow.”

Snezhnaya was cold, you thought. It was a whole new environment for you after living in liyue for your whole life. But seeing CHILDE's smile and excitement somehow made the coldness dissapear in an instant.

He have always wanted to take you here, in his homeland, and now, it is finally happening. He can't help but grin widely at the thought of his family finally meeting you after knowing you from his letters.

“You seem happy, 'jax.” He turned to look at you before letting out a small laugh. His cheeks were rosy pink from excitement and coldness.

“I am definitely happy! I can't wait for you to meet my parents and siblings. Im sure they'll love you too!” He answered as he held your hand and warm them up then fix your coat.

Just the thought of meeting his family got you all nervous. But when you finally met them, all of the worries seems to fade away as they happily welcomed you. Asking you questions and telling stories about the younger Ajax.

You feel loved and warm by his family. They're full of bright people.

Ajax smiled to himself as he watched you chattering with his family. He leaned on the door and let out a sigh of relief.

This is what he want, for you to be one with his family.

“Oh, your disposition and my wide-eyed gaze. We're singing in the car getting lost upstate.”

KAZUHA is an awestruck prose. He seemed to be always held your heart captive whenever he open his oh so sweet lips, and he seem surreal to you.

He can always make you feel fine in a second, and he always go with the flow with you like right now, he hums along the song that is playing in your shared earphones while you sing quitely under your breath. He finds it adorable as he continued humming along the tune with you. He wished the moment to last more.

“And I know its long gone and that magic's not here no more and i might be okay, but I'm not fire at all.”

Your relationship with the calvary captain, KAEYA, has ended weeks ago, the reason for the said separation is falling out of love... He said.

You don't want him to feel forced in this relationship that's why you chose to let him go and be free on his own.

Your sudden break up with the young man has caused a gossip in the city. After all, he is very well known and your relationship with him was not that really private. Everyone just seem to find out and neither of you denied it.

For days and weeks, people keep asking you ‘why did you break up’ and ‘are you okay?’ You can only nod at them for them stop asking you already because you were getting tired telling people that you're okay.

truth to be told, you might be okay but you're not fine at all.

You also don't know why he suddenly proposed a break up with you. You don't believe that he just fall out of love like that. There must be a deeper reason behind it that he won't tell you.

“Cause there we are again on that the town street. You almost ran the red 'cause you were lookin' over me.”

DILUC was always clumsy when it comes to you. He seem to cant take his eyes off you. Even now, he didn't noticed that the traffic light went red already. He only stepped on the break when you shouted at him to.

Oh archons, he was whipped.

He apologized many times to you and promised to be more careful. You can only laugh at the blushing red-haired man and pinched his cheeks which made him burning red.

“I'll accept your apology once you stop looking at me while driving, okay?”

That one... he can't promise.

“Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red. You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed. And your mother's telling stories 'bout you on the tee-ball team.”

THOMA's cheeks turned red when he saw you focusing on the photo album that his mom showed you. He sighed before sitting beside you while he placed the tray that contains snacks on the table.

“Are you done looking at it?” He asked as he closed the photo album and placed it on the table.

“Oh come on! I wasn't even done!” You exclaimed at him.

“It's embarrassing, okay?” He murmured while he took a bite of cookies that his mother made and subconsciously pouted at you which made you coo at him.

“What's there to be embarrassed about? You're adorable as a child!” You protested as you opened the photo album again and pointed at the picture of him grinning widely with his rosy chubby cheeks at five years old. “Look!”

He shook his head and continued eating while trying to calm down his pacing heart and flushed cheeks.

“Oh dear, do you want me to tell you the story of when he cried because his plant died and how he tried to revive it at the age six years old?” His mom entered the view and smirked at you and your lover.

“Ma!”

“Really!? Please do!”

“You told me 'bout your past thinking your future was me.”

When DILUC told you about his past, he was sure that he loves you beyond anything and all he really wants is to have a future with you in it.

He let you see the vulnerable and broken parts of him that he never let anyone see, except you. He wants to be bare open to you about everything about him; his life and him. He believes that being true to your lover is one of the fundamentals of a happy future.

He is happy with you. He loves you. He wants a future with you in it. Everything was already planned and all he needs to do is to ask your hand for a marriage.

But what he didn't expect is for you to ask him to separate ways. You told him there were alot of things that needs to be fixed and that includes you.

You believed that you're unworthy for him after hearing about his past. You believed that there is someone that can heal him and that someone isn't you. You saw as his world slowly revolves around you to the point that he can—and will—sacrifice his life for your eternal happiness.

And you don't want that. You don't want him to lose his life for someone like you... But now, it is slowly happening.

Unbeknownst to you, you didn't see that you are his last hope. That you are more than important to him. That you are his eternal happiness. That you are the one who keeps him sane. That... you are his life.

With you, everything is possible.

However, none of it matters right now as you dropped his hand and left him out there standing as crestfallen slowly lands on him...

“And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you but a felt was shame, and you held my lifeless frame.”

ALBEDO can only have himself to blame for everything that happened to you. He blamed himself for allowing a relationship to sprout between you two. He blamed himself for not giving you enough time and love. He blamed himself for not paying attention on you. He blamed himself for neglecting you a lot of times.

He blamed himself for losing control...

The times that you tried to reach out to him after realizing that your relationship is slowly crumbling. The times that you were left sobbing at his outrage and ignorance. But you endured it all because that's always how Albedo is. You kept everything to yourself.

He regretted it. He regretted it all as he now held your lifeless body that he caused. He shouted and screamed for you to wake up. But you never did...

Everyone watched as he continued to lose control of himself more that is about to destroy mondstadt; to destroy everything as no one can stop him now that he lost you by his own hands.

He killed you, and he can't forgive himself even if he repented and atoned for the things he did to you.

“And I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to.”

Loving XIAO was something that you told yourself you won't forget, ever. He was an enigma that you wanted to know. You are a curious being that pestered him every day.

He would have treasured you dearly if everything was at the right timing. He would have given you enough time if he only knew you'll forget him soon too as you grew older and older each day; your hair turning gray as wrinkles started appearing on your face in a blur.

He always keeps his eye on you even though he is slowly slipping out of your memories. Old age is making it hard for you to remember the sacred times you shared.

And when the time came that you asked for his name and who he is, he just knows this feeling is worst than his karmic debt.

To hate is something he can accept, but to forget... That is even worse than losing you. He wished that you hated and resented him instead.

Forgetting him is forgetting the love you had.

“'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night. We're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light. Down the stairs, I was there, I remember it all too well.”

THOMA is everything you could have asked for. He is the type that everyone will want as their loyal and doting husband. That's why you feel so lucky to have him by your side.

It was 3 am when you and thoma decided to bake together. You opened the fridge open to gather some ingredients when you heard both of your favorite song started playing in the background. You glanced behind your back and saw him smiling at you. He reached out his hand to you.

“May you give me the pleasure of dancing with you?” He giggled. You can't help but do the same and gently placed your hand on his.

“I would love to,” You uttered.

It was then when the both of you got lost in the moment, forgetting the placed ingredients and bowls on the counter. Dancin’ and smiling like fools as you two laughed and twirl around the kitchen.

You won't ever forget how Thoma beamed as the refrigerator light shone behind him. You don't want this to end. You want to be with him like this for ever and ever.

“And there we are again when nobody had to know. You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath.”

Being with AYATO was hell upon heaven. Happiness exist, of course, but only behind closed doors. He was a venom, but he's also an elixir. He's a sin but a blessing at the same time. His attention was short-lived but worth it everytime. Just one touch from him and you're gone... Softly melting into his fingers.

However, having an affair with him behind everyone's back was not that easy either. Your times with him are always limited and scheduled. And you can't see how much it's damaging you. You can't see how much you've become desperate for him.

The only thing you know is that he consumes your heart, body, mind, and soul. You were ready to fall from grace for him. Everything else won't matter anymore to you if you have this thing between you and him to last for eternity, to be seen by everyone, and for you to freely shout that he is yours and you are his.

But since when did you start thinking that he is yours?

You were always his, but he will never be yours. Your heart is his to keep. His heart isn't yours to feel.

Thinking too much is slowly making you out of your rationality. You watched as he happily conversed with a fair noble lady. You watched how he smiled and complimented her. You watched as he tried to make her smile and laugh with a few jokes here and there.

The flower he gave you earlier crumpled at your raging fist. Your heart was beating faster and you couldn't think straight. The jealousy was eating you up.

Just as you were about to storm towards them and make a scene. Another noble approached you and started a conversation. You didn't have a choice but to engage in and set all the feelings aside.

Later that night as everyone was seated around the big dining table. You were seated on Ayato's left side as an idea came into you that will prove if he's really committed to this thing between you two and if he can take risks and sacrifices for you.

You gathered courage as your right hand slowly approached his left hand that is resting on the table. Just as you are about to fully take his fingers, he smoothly brushed them off by using that same hand to grab his cup.

You felt your heart slowly shattered at this actions. You immediately drew back your hand to grab your chopsticks to eat. As you were chewing the food, you felt your eyes watered and you excused yourself. Ayato didn't even bother to send you a glance as you went out with a broken heart.

It was then that you realized that you are the only one who's willing to go far for this thing between you and him to progress. You cherished him, and he does too, he said, but not much as you do.

To him, maybe you're just a thing; an affair to be kept as a secret. But to you, this is love. He is the love that you oathed for.

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starsambrosia · 2 months

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Storytime: Vision (Hermes)

[A Valentines Day gift for certain, what an experience]

He took me to Elysium and showed me the bones of a Titan.

Ribs that arched like the peaks of mountains, overgrown and oevrtaken by Gaia mother of the titanes. The trees dug into their bones, seaping whatever life was left, the clouds rolled as though they were playfull kittens abouve us casting shadows across the almost neon green grass, so vibrant and full of life.

I taced my hand along the rib of yet another gargantuan titan...it felt familiar, ancient, with carvings and claw marks from both god and wildlife.

This world has healded and whoever this was is long dead...who were you? What did you do? Why are the gods so set that you deserved this fate?

"He was someone who defied Gaia, someone who needed to know his place." Hermes spoke to me softly, i didnt expect an answer at all, much less like this...so gentle and with a hint of nostalgic bliss in his voice he said this with a small smile "it was beutifull when he fell"

That told me so much all at once so much that my head spun and my mind filled with flashes of stars falling from the night sky over a titan laying on this island surrounded by navy blue waters, just the outskirts were wine red, a hurricabe cloud overhead but isolated to souly be abouve this titan

A booming voice of Zeus says something i can't understand. And the sky falls. The Titans' eyes shut, and the stars plumit to the earth. Every scratch of every wound every drop of blood was a show of light and wonder. Sparks flew as what i once believed were stars and now see as almost glass meteorites fell from the sky, ripping into his skin, he was obliterated. He was filled with divine light that Lord Zeus sent down. It was beautiful...

His body cracked and blood of gold and light rained down on the earth below, peices of him were crystalized and sent into the oceans depths, his body draped over this island as he was covered in light, his limbs fell into the sea.

"And his skull...?" I whispered almost to overcome by wonder to speak

"Thats a secret" Hermes tells me with a wink as though that moment of lighthearted fun can really take my attention away from the death i witness

It was both all in a flash and yet an experience i could live in, gone in the blink of an eye that felt like an eternity.

The light the color the depth the death the life all of it after the stars fell and the titans blood flooded across the island turning rivers to gold and trees to ivory the island was temporarily petrified.

Hermes laid back in the air, keeping an eye on me as he spoke. "Over time, Gaia grew tired of witnessing the perpetual petrification of her land, so she took matters into her own hands. The earth regrew the vines, and plants attached themselves to the blood and began to filter it. She created this paradise from a corpse. Don't you see his energy still present? Dont you see he isn't dead? "

Hermes touched down with a spin on his heel, throwing his hands up and gesturing to the land around us "hes alive! And you will be too one day"

He clasped my hands, looking at me with wide beutifull eyes that reflected so many tales and stories and untold adventures waiting to be discovered, so much to say so much to tell me so much to experience i felt sick but i couldnt turn away i didnt care anymore about my body or my health or anything i just wanted him just a little longer

"Its time to go" his smile faltered a little just for a moment as he swallowed and pulled my hands up, lifting me off the ground like a feather "you have to watch yourself you know you cant be recklass"

And then i was back, back in my body that aches with a heart that's full.

Thank you, Hermes. Happy Valentines Day, i love you.

#witchblr #paganblr #personal practice #upg #hermes deity #astral #ace of clubs #journal #ambrosia #personal

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gratuitousrex · 3 months

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Miraculous: Origins of The Supreme + Miraculous Paris Aftermath Fanfic

Master Fu: Tikki, Plagg, reveal yourselves...Gimmi Reveal yourself

Gimmi: Hello tiny human, how are you today

Master Fu: I want to make a wish

Gimmi: Here we are again...another human who loves to complai...

Master Fu: I wish to have full control over all the kwamis in existance

Gimmi: What...you do know that by doing that...there is a heavy price to pay....if you were to have control over all the kwami then your world will suffer in return...

Master Fu: I do not care! I will shape this world in my liking....

Gimmi: You do have to know, the only Kwami that you cannot have control over is me for I am the Kwami of Reality and I granted you the wish

Master Fu: It does not matter....as long as I am in control of the Ladybug and the Black Cat miraculous, no one will be able to summon you and undo my wishes...

Gimmi: Fine human! so be it

WHOOOOOOOOOSH

Events of Miraculous Paris happens*

After Miraculous paris...

Betterfly along with redeemed Shadybug and Claw noir have returned to their universe

Betterfly: Ahh its good to be back

Claw: I love your positive cat-itude good sir

Shady: But it doesnt change the fact that our world is still broken

Betterfly: Dont worry, with the help of you two, we will save our world...we helped save one remember

Betterfly: Thank you...Alya Cesaire for your assistance

Alya: W..wait what....what are they doing here

Shady: Dont worry Alya, were on your side now

Betterfly: Its a long story Alya....but believe me, they are good now

Claw: So M'lady, what are we gonna do now

Shady: We better recharge our kwamis first to regain some of our energy back

Betterfly: Agreed...

Shadybug, Claw Noir and Betterfly returned to their houses to feed their kwami

Betterfly returns to the Agreste Mansion as Gabriel Agreste and he noticed his son came there almost the same time as him

Gabe: S..son...where have you been

Adrien: Father, your not gonna believe but I just had a crazy adventure

Gabe: Thats great son...Tell me about it

*Silence*

Adrien: Father...I know I havent been a very good son to you....ever since I lost mother...

Gabe: Son...I know....and im sorry too for not being able to be there for you....I have duties to fulfill...duties to make this world a better place....for you....

Adrien: Um father....I have to tell you something....

Gabe: Son...you can tell me anything

Adrien: Something happened today....the adventure I was saying....it changed me...chaned me for the better

Gabe: What is it son?

Adrien: Father....Im...Im Claw Noir

Gabe *SHOCKED*

Adrien: Im Claw Noir father...well, I used to be....but now, I changed Father...I changed...

Gabe: *Hugs Adrien tightly*

Adrien: *shocked as well*

Gabe: I love you son

Adrien: I love you too father

Gabe: call me dad

*Back at the Dupain Cheng Bakery*

Marinette: M..mom

Sabine: Marinette? MARINETTE, oh sweetie I am worried sick about you....you havent come home for days now

Marinette: It..its okay mom....Im okay now...

Sabine: Oh sweety you know its dangerous outside...

Marinette: Mom....Im sorry *in tears* ....Im so so sorry for all of this

Sabine: Whats wrong Marinette?

Marinette: All this time....I have always ignored you.....all you did was to protect me....ever since dad died, you tried to be there for me.....but I pushed you out of my life....I have always told myself that you do not love me anymore to the point that I myself have believed it foolishly...Im sorry mom

Sabine: Everything will be okay now sweety....now why dont you try this gallete I made? should cheer you up!

Marinette: Thanks mom

*Back at Betterfly Secret HQ*

Nooroo: Master, why didnt you tell Adrien that you are betterfly?

Gabe: Its too dangerous Nooroo, I cant tell him my secret Identity, the supreme still has control over the black cat miraculous and if we are not careful, he might know who am I

Gabe: Remember when I freed you from his control? I suppose if I am able to do the same for my son, then I would be able to tell him...its just....not time yet

Nooroo: I understand master

Gabe: Thank you Nooroo....for always being there....

*Nino and Alya comes back to the HQ*

Nino: Sir....Alya told me everything and....I cant believe you are able to recruit those two menaces....Awesome dude

Gabe: heh thank you Nino...glad you werent hurt from all the chaos that happened...

*The next day...Betterfly had a meeting at the secret HQ along with Shadybug, Claw Noir, Alya and Nino

Betterfly: Glad you two could make it

Claw Noir: Our pleasure mister fly

Shadybug: We wont miss out an opportunity to take down the supreme and free ourselves

Betterfly: Good good, were on the same page

Alya: Forgive my mistrust but...Betterfly, you never told us what happened to your other universe trip and...how can me and Nino know that we can trust these two?

Betterfly: Alya, I...

Shadybug: I understand what you are feeling Alya....I know that when im previously my evil version....Im the reason why your big sister was taken by the supreme.....I understand your....

Alya: No No you dont get to understand.....the pain I have felt.....Betterfly may trust you now but you have yet to earn MY trust...

Shadybug: I know Alya....thats why....for starters....Im gonna reveal my secret Identity so you know the other half of me....

Betterfly: Ladybug, I dont think thats a wise....

Shadybug: Blots off....

Alya *shocked*.....M...Marinette....

Betterfly and Nino *shocked too*

Claw Noir *pretends to be shocked*

Claw Noir: Jokes on you...I already know hehe

Marinette: I know we arent always so close Alya....the first time we met...you offered to be my friend but...I was broken at the time....and I pushed you away.....I pushed everyone away......I guess I can only blame myself for having no one to defend me against Chloe....Im...sorry for everything Alya....

Alya: Marinette...I I dont know if i can forgive you for the pain you have caused me and my family as Shadybug but...maybe I will try

Marinette: Thats good enough for me

Claw Noir: well that could have been worse....Wait....Since she did it...I will too...

Betterfly: No wait

Claw Noir: Daggers in

Adrien: Its me....the famous Adrien Agreste

Nino *shocked*

Marinette and Alya: ughh

Betterfly: well....I trust you all anyway so I guess its a good thing you all know each other now...

Nino: Dudeee...Betterfly hes Adrien...

Betterfly: I know..I know

Nino: Like...I know hes kinda self centered at school but its still coool dude

Adrien: Really? after all the things I did to you?

Nino: No worries dude....I dont mind the pranks at all

Adrien: Wow....my other self is right about how understanding you are after all

Nino: Other what

Betterfly: Okay everyone...lets skip the introductions and proceed on this meeting shall we?

*Meeting*

Betterfly: Okay so to keep it simple...The only way we can defeat the supreme is to free the kwamis of you two....the Ladybug and the Black Cat

Shadybug: and to free them, we must

Claw Noir: go into the supreme fortress and kick some ass

Shadybug: You mean sneak in....your funny fleabag

Claw Noir: oh right right...hehe

Alya: but you must be forgetting something...the supreme fortress is guarded with miraculous holders....

Betterfly: Lucky for us, I know their Identities, their weaknesses and how to avoid their powers

Nino: You do?

Betterfly: Yes...they are influencial people...to say the least

Claw Noir: influencial? oh no....I think I made a mistake

Betterfly: what is it Adrien

Claw Noir: My father...I told him my identity...god I hope hes not one of the miraculous holders that the supreme has control over...

Betterfly: I can assure you Adrien...Gabriel Agreste is a good man....

Claw Noir: well I trust you and I trust my father as well so Im gonna hold on with those words

Betterfly: Okay...here are the Miraculous holders that we should be expecting.....

The Golden Stinger....Also known as Audrey Bourgeois.....the holder of the bee miraculous,

she have unlimited stings so you all need to avoid her venom...otherwise, its game over

Shelter King....also known as Andre Bourgeois....the holder of the turtle miraculous.....he and Golden Stinger are partners and while she is the sword...he is the shield.....we need your cataclysm to destroy his protection

Claw Noir: copy

Betterfly: alright...to the next holders

Dragona....also known as Tomoe Tsurugi....the holder of the dragon miraculous....she has control over certain elements which would be tricky...tricky but straightforward

Rockback...also known as Jagged Stone....the holder of the tiger miraculous....his clout rivals the cataclysm but the lucky charm should be able to conjure something to protect us from his powerful blows

Betterfly: this one....breaks my heart

Amaya...also known as Amelie Graham de Vanily...the holder of the peacock miraculous....so far, she is the biggest threat of them all....

Claw Noir: Wait...you know my aunt Amelie?

Betterfly: lets just say....I know someone close to her.....

Shadybug: But I thought the holder of the peacock miraculous was your partner

Betterfly: Amelie is the new holder....My old partner was the old holder....and she was amazing....

*Flashback*

Betterfly: We share the same goal.....to take down the supreme and end his reign once and for all....everytime paris is attacked, we are there to save the day.....but one day....the supreme decided to deal with us himself.....we did not expect the amount of power he has......he was able to overpower us.....and for that....she had to stay behind to help me escape.....I was wounded...I..I couldnt do anything....I came back to try and save her but it was too late....she died in my arms.......the supreme decided to let me live because he wanted a challenge....someone to oppose him....thats why he did not take my miraculous.....but he took hers....and her identity....she is your mother Adrien.....It was Emilie......that is how she died....The supreme was able to trick Amelie into thinking that I was the one who killed her sister using the miraculous of the fox....Amelie is very powerful now as her desire for revenge against me have grown further....

Claw Noir: *Tearing up*....Now I understand....my mother gave her life for the greater good....just like what my dad wanted for the world....they really are for each other

*After a few hours of the meeting*

Betterfly: Okay....we are ready now....we attack once and for all and free tikki and plagg to undo the madness the supreme did....only Gimmi can save us

Shadybug: to do that, we need to reach the supreme's chamber and break the relic that binds both of the kwami with the supreme...after that...I will make the wish as quick as possible before the supreme is able to stop us

Claw Noir: We will be there Mlady

Nino: Alright my dudes....lets do this

Alya: you sure this will work Betterfly

Betterfly: I have faith Alya....faith

PART 2: THE FINALE COMING SOON

(Note that Shadybug is already redeemed and known as Ladybug here and Claw Noir is already Cat Noir...I just named them Shady and Claw to avoid confusion) Anyway this is my first fanfic and I hope yall enjoy.....PART 2 soon

#miraculous ladybug

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