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summersmithlatinxgyatt · 5 months

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GET READY FOR 2000 WORDS OF YAP

This will serve as a dense summary that supports my previous Season 3 and onward Summer analysis blogs. This shows the basis stemming from Season 1 to 3. I highly recommending reading my analysis blogs, but this serves as a great place to start

Summer Smith is a character that I have not seen anyone pay attention to on the same caliber as Rick or even any other character of the family. Despite the small pool and consistent focus, I constantly see her be summarized as being both a typical teen girl and a badass, as if the latter is all that’s done to make her stand out as a character. Luckily, fans who’ve paid more attention to the narrative and her character can at LEAST pick out scattered parts of her characters through focused moments. I do not want to instantly discredit anyone, especially anyone who has known this about Summer but just never shared their thoughts. However, I still see a lack of any meaningful summary, so I wanted to give my own sort of timeline and summary of Summer’s character. As much as I’d like this to be as in-depth as possible, I will be writing this in one go and whatever is fresh on my mind

Summer is incredibly insecure about her self-image, like many teens her age. The difference is how this plays into being a part of the Smith family. She has no one to talk to about it directly because every member of her family is already involved in their own relationship or somewhat gets over it, which she points out in ‘GoTron Jerrysis Rickvangelion’. Rick’s philosophy was something the show practically revolved around for earlier seasons which is exhibited in every character in different ways except Summer. We don’t really see any moment of Summer burying her fear or getting over it even with some amount of silver lining. Instead, she embraces any caliber of attention and love no matter the ramifications. A great example of this is ‘Something Ricked This Way Comes’, where Summer seeks the attention of Mr. Needful, who Rick aptly points out is ‘literally the Devil’. Despite this, she still works for him, accepts his gratitude, and even saves his life

This is a persistent part of Summer’s character, but in later seasons it is the basis of who she is NOW, not her entire personality. These insecurities can range from not feeling pretty or simply having no friends or partners. There’s also a unique aspect to her dynamic, that being she tends to go along with whatever is happening around her as long as she gains from it or at least survives

‘Ricksy Business’ shows a raging party that Summer hosts solely to have attention drawn towards her and feel popular. Even when Rick invites his alien friends, she doesn’t act like Morty. Morty is shown to be on his toes, trying to stop anything bad from happening and making sure not one thing goes wrong. Summer is neutral to the party while Rick insists it continues on through any means, literally sending Morty out to get drugs for him. In this episode, Summer wanted the party to simply go on for her own popularity. However, it would backfire because of one detail we can’t ignore. Summer isn’t innocent.

She dismissed Nancy as a dork she didn’t want to be around, which later on meant no one wanted to be around her once Nancy talked about how shitty she can be. In Season 4, we see she’s invited her to her house with Tricia at least, but in Season 1, Summer is dismissive of others if they don’t give her some form of attention in return

‘Rixty Minutes’ is an episode that shows that her parents had Summer when they were very young and still in high school. When Summer ties to look into other versions of her life across the multiverse, it’s entirely blank and because these are connected to the versions Jerry and Beth see. THIS IS A CONSISTENT DETAIL! On the TV, we see the version of Jerry that Beth also runs into. That means Summer looked into the same universes, but she was absent. As a result, she blames herself for being a burden and someone holding her parents’ potential back.

One detail worth mentioning is that in the other universes, she mentions she’s playing Yahtzee with her family each time. As I keep mentioning and WILL mention here, she values family in high regard. If these universes are focused on successful outcomes, then the happy ending for Summer she didn’t know about back then was bonding with her family. Board games are sometimes used as bonding moments in the show. Two examples that come to mind as I write this include ‘A Rickconvenient Mort’ when Morty originally brought Planetina to the family and then ‘Rickmancing the Stone’ when Beth plays with the robot versions of Summer and Morty, saying she never gets to do this. It’s clearly something the family almost never does but when they do, the times we have seen them pop up is in the context of being too good to be true - the family being together.

We constantly see Jerry reference television and media, it’s clear he wanted to be an actor

Beth mentions she performs surgery on humans instead of horses

And Summer doesn’t realize that her dream is being achieved - having a normal life and a loving family that bonds

Of course, Morty convinces Summer to not run away as she basically realizes someone DOES love and appreciate her in the family. When she says ‘You’re not my brother?’, it also speaks volumes that another Morty was willing to love another version of his sister after the events of ‘Rick Potion #9’. Furthermore, the idea that no one BELONGS anywhere doesn’t mean everyone aimlessly wanders. It just means that Summer wasn’t entitled to any standards at all, standards that she feels the need to abide by that are the entire root of her insecurities and the idea that she is holding her parents back

‘Get Schwifty’ focuses on Summer’s place in the new religion of Headism. She takes it as an opportunity to be seen as perfect in the eyes of her parents. In an episode like ‘Total Rickall’, we see her mother drinking instead of driving her to school, then bruising her eye with a bottle of wine. And of course, the crux of ‘Rixty Minutes’ is Summer feeling like she’s holding back her parents. Her parents didn't show her love and she didn’t know why, which led to her ignoring anyone who didn’t instantly love her back. She was careless and snappy, but in ‘Get Schwifty’, she realized one way to get their attention - ignore her flaws

Whether or not this detail was intentional too, she was following a philosophy her family followed as well, which was ignoring those flaws. Her own unique spin on it and the point of her place in this episode is having a religion to follow that she can not only align herself upon, but as a reference point for others to realize how much she’s changed. This works not only for her parents but for Ethan as well. Summer is shown to be more active and seemingly happy but incredibly devoted to this religion. When she sees the heads, she uses it as proof that she can achieve a form of improvement that is legitimate, which is why she’s so dedicated to it

However, just because Summer goes along with any means to be popular, it doesn’t mean that she will ignore her family. Again, she wants their attention and love. Summer wouldn’t harm her family entirely if she thinks they already hold a negative view of her, except ARGUABLY Jerry. With these next two examples, you’ll see that Season 2 has outliers because her character is fleshed out

‘Big Trouble in Little Sanchez’ shows that Summer cares for Rick’s well being and is frustrated when no one else seeks his safety. She was selfless enough to risk her own popularity when she ‘ratted out’ Rick, she just didn’t know the extent of it. However, she doesn’t cry about it and insists on still saving Rick. This is around the time she begins to hold her family closer. ‘Total Rickall’ shows the family needs to stick together and tries to find a silver lining from how toxic they all are to one another. ‘Rixty Minutes’ shows Morty’s love for her while ‘Something Ricked This Way Comes’ shows Rick’s love for Summer. As a result, she values them for the happiness they bring one another and goes out of her way to save Rick even when he thinks he doesn’t need help

‘Look Who’s Purging Now’ shows how she’s found her place within the family. She gravitates towards Rick and Morty more instead of her parents. Rick entrusts Summer to save them both while Jerry pesters her. The constant character traits are on FULL DISPLAY in this episode and I’m kicking myself for not mentioning it before. She nearly cries as she remembers moments with her father and is insulted that he used family bonding moments to ease her into giving Jerry money. And although it probably isn’t intentional, saying The Purge sucks opposes Jerry’s view of just liking and referencing all movies. This point is also supported when she asks if all interdimensional cable needs to be juvenile violence. Furthermore, this small detail is contrasted when she’s more aggressive and fine with killing in Season 3.

In this episode, we understand more of who Summer favors in her life - Rick and Morty and not Jerry. This branches out from Season 1’s showing of Summer as a careless teenager, as ‘Raising Gazorpazorp’ and ‘Something Ricked This Way Comes’ cement how she holds Rick close too

So we’ve moved past holding people close to just love them and get something out of it. In Season 2, she realizes she appreciates the genuine love her family has for her. At the same time, she’s finding out who she loves and why. The ending of Season 2, however, utterly changes this

I can go on and on for days about how this scene needs to be recognized as one of the most pivotal across the entire show. I consider it the most important scene when it comes to understanding her character. If you want the episode where Summer changes into her more rebellious and strong side, watch ‘Wedding Squanchers’ after understanding everything that came before.

As I’ve said again and again, the reason I regard Summer breaking into tears when Rick mentions the consequences of the Galactic Federation being on their heels is because so little is said and it shows a lot about Summer.

This is a scene where she’s the only one crying and blames herself because her insecurities have played a part in leading to Tammy murdering Bird Person and successfully rounding up any terrorists. And again, she’s so lonely and out-of-place alongside her family that it’s just looked over, ironically by many fans too

I will wrap this up by summarizing what follows

Because Summer holds herself heavily accountable for befriending Tammy to begin with, she holds her family closer than ever. She swears to bring back Rick and hates the Galactic Federation. This is branching off character traits in Summer and removes the idea that Summer will listen to authority or take their word. Even across ‘Wedding Squanchers’, she comes to an ultimate realization by telling Jerry, “You don’t love someone in hopes of a reward”. This single line removes Summer’s old trait where she quite literally loved other people in hopes of a reward, meaning yes, the previous scene IS her ego death and the moment her character changes.

She despises the Federation and is the only one in the family willing to act against them - again, showing her alienation. This is why Summer is fine with acting violently to address an issue, why she doesn’t listen to a form of authority, and is close with her family. Later seasons show she keeps them together. If Summer didn’t rebel, then there’s almost no chance she would’ve convinced Rick to come back (side-note, another Rick holds Summer hostage instead of Morty in ‘The Rickshank Rickdemption’). Her subconscious potential manifested as Night Summer, which is nothing more than Summer being totally brutal and speaking however she pleases. The Night family listens to Summer, because they recognize that she also keeps them together. This implies that even though no one else in the family says anything about Summer’s role, they HAVE thought about it. Night Summer is not inherently evil or a ‘dark’ version of Summer despite the name. If anything, this is identical to Summer playing Yahtzee - finding her place in her family, being trusted, and being loved.

This is meant to be more of an analysis compilation to break down Summer’s character. To oppose what many have said, Summer is actually a fleshed-out and very consistent character.

She is not just a bratty teenager.

She is not just a badass.

She is not just insecure.

Summer Smith began as an insecure teenager because she has never found attention or love that stayed. As time passed, she found shelter by being loved and loving others. However, this all changed when her past insecurities and the need to be loved caught up and she blamed herself for the Galactic Federation. She needed to keep her family close after nearly losing them, she went against any authority figures from now on, and she went on her own accord. The aforementioned descriptions aren’t entire fractions of her character or something that she instantly falls back on. This is always changing and sometimes is erased as time passes. She’s always changing, and that’s why for me, she is the most overlooked character in the show due to how much depth she carries that isn’t noticed. And of course, why Summer Smith has got to be my favorite character. So much so that a ‘short’ recap ended up being over 2,300 words

#rick and morty #summer smith #summer #hyperfixation #character analysis #character exploration #summer smith is the best character #professional yapper #infodump

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amphibious-entity · 3 years

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TMBS Book 1 Brain Dump

~An Embarrassingly Long Post~

I don’t know why I’m writing this or why I’m so determined to do it. Maybe to finally assume my true form and become a mega dork on main, or maybe just for fun!

This is basically a compilation of all the main points running through my head after reading The Mysterious Benedict Society (2007) for the first time. Rather than posting a ton and spamming the tag, everything’s here in one neat package! (hopefully this gets it all out of my system rip)

Contents:

The Book Itself

The Book Itself, for real this time

The Characters

A Funny Parallel

The S.Q. Section

Lines & Scenes I Liked

Spoilers abound!

The Book Itself

Upon acquiring the first three books (don’t judge me pls), I was surprised at just how long they are. Like, they’re still pretty light being paperbacks and all, but these books are hefty lads.

The first book has this Disney+ Original Series circle thing printed on it, which is kind of unfortunate. Regardless, I love the cover illustration and yellow is actually my favorite color :D It made me weirdly quite happy whenever I saw the book lying around in my room

Also, it’s really cute how there’s a letter from Mr. Benedict at the end! (It only reveals that you can find out his first name if you “know the code”, meaning the bit of Morse printed below the summary on the back.) Shock and horror, though, as I realized I’m starting to recognize some of the letters

The Book Itself, for real this time

It’s wonderful how the tone of the book really shone through to the show adaptation. Something about the deliberateness of the aesthetic, from the set designs to the fashion to scene compositions, that really sells that particular style— like it’s very clear that this story is being told to us, rather than one we’re seeing unfold, if that makes sense.

Where that narration style stood out to me the most was the first chapter. We are told (rather than shown) how Reynie gets himself to the point of the second test, and there’s this whole twisty time maneuver for that whole sequence of events that’s really interesting

A super secret fun fact about me is that I wanted to be a writer when I was younger! So this particular balance of show vs. tell is really neat, since it runs counter to my own tendencies. The sheer amount of commas in every sentence is also kind of comforting, since Ahah, I Do That in those few serious-ish attempts at writing lol

Overall this book’s style reminds me a lot of Roald Dahl’s books, which are very nostalgic for me :D The whole “kids are more competent than adults” angle helps a lot too haha

The Characters

Oh boy here’s where I get a little bit critical! Overall I did really like this book!! it’s just that that expresses itself in all this weird “”analysis”” lol

Reynie - much better in the books than in the show

It’s sort of a lukewarm take but I feel like show!Reynie is kind of boring? He doesn’t have a lot going on flaw-wise, and obviously since he’s the protagonist he can’t have too many weird traits or else the kids watching can’t project themselves onto him as easily

(I call it the difference between an aspirational protagonist and a vessel protagonist. Going off of the Roald Dahl vibes, think Matilda vs Charlie. show!Reynie is more of a Charlie)

Thus when we get to see him really struggle with the Whisperer and doubt himself it gives him a lot more dimension, at least in my opinion

It is a federal crime that the white knight scenes were not adapted into the show

Sticky - my son

I’ve long held to no one besides myself and my long suffering sister that Sticky is The Best Member of the Society

He happened to hit a lot of the Bingo squares of Stuff I Like In Characters: glasses, anxious, nice :), kind of a coward but ultimately is there for his friends, etc

For some reason I don’t talk about him nearly as much as you-know-who, but I love him just as dearly

Kate & Constance - I don’t have much to say

Kate is really interesting in this book! I like how we get to see more of her depths, in particular that one passage about her belief that she is invincible being the only thing that keeps her from falling apart? :c

Also her constant fidgeting is relatable lol

Constance is somehow a lot more tolerable in the book. I think I’m just one of those people with no patience for small children, unfortunately lol

(Some of) The Adults

It’s interesting that they had such an offscreen presence for most of the book. Giving them more time was probably one of the stronger changes of the show

However if that decision was made at the expense of the white knight scenes I think the choice should have been clear

I like the way Rhonda and Number Two are written

Milligan always on sad boy hours 😔✊

The “mill again” passage is touching but kind of messes up the pacing of the getaway, at least for me. Maybe I should read it again to make sure I didn’t miss something

Miss Perumal is much better in the show. We see so little of her in the book she doesn’t function well as an emotional anchor for Reynie, imo

The Institute Gang

Jackson and Jillson serve their purpose well, and Martina was surprising to say the least. I like the direction they took her in the show! I can’t imagine how funny it must have been to watch the tetherball subplot come out of nowhere lolol

These sections were written out of sequence, so random tidbit I couldn’t fit in The S.Q. Section: I like how he stumbles over his words. relatable

Mr. Curtain

While I think I know why they decided to not give Curtain the wheelchair in the show, we were totally robbed of Actor Tony Hale’s performance for the reveal during the final confrontation

Speaking of the wheelchair, it’s such a powerful symbol of his need for control or rather, his fear of losing it

The Contrast between him and Mr. Benedict. This point is expanded on in A Funny Parallel

Mr. Benedict

Oh boy, Mr. Benedict… How do I say this

I find it hard to trust Mr. Benedict, unfortunately

I mean to say, I do in the sense that I know he would never hurt the kids, thanks to knowing that a) this is a children’s book series and b) the meta (tumblr) states that he is really nice and lovable and stuff, but seriously. Why do the kids trust him at first?? I probably missed something somewhere

I like to think I’m an optimistic person, but unfortunately I’m also super paranoid. The premise of “a bunch of vulnerable orphans team up with a strange old man” is just so odd to me I don’t know how to explain it

I don’t know!!! I really want to trust Mr. Benedict

One of the strengths of the show is that we get to see him more often, and thus he gets to acknowledge more often that the plan is weird and that he feels really badly for putting the kids in danger and that he’s trustworthy and genuine

But his lack of presence for most of the book just makes him into something of a specter, invisible and unknowable, speaking only in riddles from across the bay

Which is why the white knight scene is so important!! I loved that scene ;-;

Because here’s an actual emotional connection! We can actually see it happening, rather than only being told that it exists

Reynie asking for advice and receiving encouragement, in words that demonstrate that Mr. Benedict actually cares about him and worries about him and agghh

It is a federal crime that the white knight scenes were not adapted into the show

But overall this whole issue didn’t ruin my enjoyment of the book at all! It’s just ->

A Funny Parallel

Okay, ready for my biggest brain, hottest take ever??

Mr. Benedict and Mr. Curtain…. are… the same

I mean obviously not entirely, given that one is benevolent and kind and the other is… Mr. Curtain

But seriously. Genius old man seeks out children (mainly orphans) to enact a plan. Said children often end up incredibly devoted to his cause and deeply admire him this is a little flimsy

Undoubtedly that’s intentional and is supposed to show the difference between them, like some kind of cautionary tale? “Let yourself be vulnerable and let others help you, lest you turn eeeeviiillll”

I guess that’s where the aforementioned epic contrast comes in. You get Mr. Curtain, strapped into his wheelchair and hiding behind those mirrored sunglasses, terrified (but unwilling to admit it) of ever showing the tiniest hint of vulnerability, vs. Mr. Benedict, who can let himself fall knowing that someone will catch him :’)

Anyhow I have nothing against the parallels, I just think it’s funny

The S.Q. Section

The S.Q. Quarantine Thread so it doesn’t leak out everywhere else <3

I’d like to meet the emo angstlord genius who read this book and decided to make SQ into Dr. Curtain’s son. What in the world

Okay I should probably preface this by saying that I absolutely adore both book!S.Q. and show!SQ with all my heart. Somehow, despite being a completely different character in both mediums, he has managed to be one of the best characters in either and certainly one of my favorites (besides Sticky of course) in the entire franchise, despite the fact that I’ve only read the first book/watched the show so far. I am confident in this statement.

But seriously! How?? Why?? I could probably write a whole other essay about why show!SQ is such an interesting character, and the change works so incredibly well. I’m just. Baffled

Okay, focus. book!S.Q. is such a sweetheart, oh my goodness. Like, 100% one of the most endearing characters in the book. Poor guy. I don’t even know where to start!!

He just seems to be a genuinely good guy at heart, despite being technically one of the bad guys. He’s genuinely happy for Reynie and Sticky when they became Messengers and helped Kate when she “fell” and was concerned about Constance when she looked sick and how he was in that meeting with Mr. Curtain and Martina?!!? aaahhhhghgh ;-; he just wants people to be happy TT-TT

Comparing him against literally every character at the Institute is probably what makes him so endearing tbh. When everyone else is so awful to the kids, it really makes him stand out. Like a cheerful little nightlight in the worst, most humid and rank bathroom you’ve ever been in

It’s kind of pointless to theorize about a book series that’s already concluded (I think?) but. Is the implication of S.Q.’s forgetfulness supposed to be that Mr. Curtain used him in brainsweeping experiments somehow? The timeline probably definitely absolutely doesn’t line up but like. How did he get to being a Messenger being the way he is now, given how cutthroat the process is? And then of course Mr. Curtain keeps him around as an Executive because he’s fun to mess with and presumably his loyalty. I’m very curious as to how their relationship develops in the other books, if at all. Those are probably where the seeds of the “let’s make them family” logic were planted

But wouldn’t it be hilarious if the reason we don’t know what “S.Q.” stands for in the books is that he just. Forgot

Another thing that occurred to me. Given that he and the other Executives were Messengers at some point, what were their worst fears? What is S.Q.’s worst fear?? Inquiring minds need to know

One last horrible little anecdote: I was thinking about book!S.Q. while eating breakfast, as one does, and suddenly it hit me.

I want to believe The Author Trenton Lee Stewart had the name for a character, S.Q. Pedalian, and was like, “Hm! What sort of quirky trait should this young fellow have?” Because, of course, in this style of fiction every character has to have at least one cartoonish or otherwise distinguishing trait to stand out in the minds of children. (For instance, Kate has her bucket, Sticky has his glasses, Constance is angry, and Reynie is Emmett from the Lego Movie)

Anyhow, he looks around the room, searching for inspiration. Suddenly he comes across a jumbo box of plastic wrap. Completely innocuous in design, save for one line of text. 300 SQ FT.

“…large… S.Q. …feet? THAT’S IT!” i’m sorry

Lines & Scenes I Liked

In no particular order!

Sticky quotes Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Evil combination aerobics/square dancing in the gym with the Executives

Everyone being happy at the end :’)

Everyone partying after Sticky reunites with his parents, and later finding Mr. Benedict asleep at his desk from the moment they shook hands :’’)

Literally any scene with Sticky in it

Any time Kate says “you boys” or “gosh”

[“Um, sir?” S.Q. said timidly, raising his hand. “A thought just occurred to me.” / Mr. Curtain raised his eyebrows. “That’s remarkable, S.Q. What is it?”] clown prince of my heart </3

S.Q.’s determined monologue about searching for clues after he bungled up the first time

Literally any scene with S.Q. in it (please refer to The S.Q. Section)

Reynie trying to resist the Whisperer.

[Let us begin. / First let me polish my spectacles, Reynie thought. / Let us begin. / Not without my bucket, Reynie insisted. He heard Mr. Curtain muttering behind him. / Let us begin, let us begin, let us begin. / Rules and schools are tools for fools, Reynie thought.]

NO MORE HURTIN’ WITH CURTAIN

Milligan showing up on the island!!

Remember the white knight hhhhhh

“controle”

A Super Secret Bonus Section

I would be extremely surprised if anyone read through all the way down here lol. Regardless, here’s a little acknowledgements section :D not tagging anyone since I don’t want to bother all of these people

Special shoutout to tumblr blog stonetowns for unknowingly yet singlehandedly demolishing my reluctance to read the books by posting a ton of cute quotes. Thank you for your service o7

Thanks to the two OGs that liked the post I made right before this one, for being my unwitting enablers and for sticking around despite being a) technically an internet stranger (hello!) and b) someone I haven’t spoken to irl in literal years (hey!!)

Last but not least thankz 2 my sister for putting up with me ranting about the book when I first got it and for asking about “CQ” sometimes lol. (i desperately hope you’re not reading this orz)

#the mysterious benedict society #this took me like three days to finish rip #it’s worked though! i feel less of a Mighty Need to think about this stuff constantly now #however!!! today through some conniving i have gotten the Second Book #now I’m at 3 out of 4 infinity stones. muahahaha #was going to include my villain origin story about why i like show!SQ so much but cut it for being too long and irrelevant. however #if the words jeff naomi and Sweet Dreams are Made of These mean anything to you please hit me up. it’s kind of a funny story

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redgillan · 4 years

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Under Pastel Skies - 1

Sugar daddy!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Modern!AU Bucky doesn’t need anyone, especially not a sugar baby. He isn’t that desperate… but she smiles so sweetly and she’s endearingly awkward, and he’s so lonely. She’s an artist, a painter, the type of person who always puts others before herself. Throwing caution to the wind Bucky offers her a place to live, a place where she can finally paint whatever her heart desires. He doesn’t need much in return; a friend, a muse.

Word Count: 2,183

Warnings: none

A/N: This is brand new and probably one of the softest series I’ve ever written. I hope you enjoy it, these two are going to fall in love so hard!

“I don’t feel good.”

You started rocking back and forth, your breathing coming too fast and too shallow. A drop of sweat rolled down from your armpit, making you hyperaware of the fact that you were looking like a mess. You pressed the back of your hand to your forehead and groaned; your hairline was wet.

Looking at your dress, you felt bile rise up in your throat.

You should have worn the blue dress. Blue was a nice colour, everyone loved blue. Blue made people calm and at ease. No, instead, you had taken Natasha’s advice and put on the tight orange-red dress that clung to your body and made your breasts look incredible.

But now the dress stuck uncomfortably to your body, the space between your breasts was wet and glistening. You couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t think. Red was the colour of passion, of anger and danger, and you just had to deal with your poor life decision.

Although deep down, you knew it wasn’t about the dress, or its colour.

“Relax,” Natasha said, sipping her lemonade. “I’m here, it’s going to be fine.”

“I am not fucking relaxed, Nat,” you repeated with a scoff. “I’m at a bar, about to meet a potential sugar daddy; that’s not what normal people do on a Friday night.”

“You’d be surprised,” she sassed. You gave her an unimpressed look. “Look, you can live with me for as long as you like, and you can work odd shifts at the hotel for the rest of your life if that’s what you want. But I know you, you’re an artist, and artists need freedom and benefactors. Sam is the reason I finished paying my tuition. You can call him my sugar daddy, but I prefer the word scholarship.”

Yeah, it was only a matter of perspective –and vocabulary. Some may call this whole thing brilliant, others stupid. You weren’t quite sure what to think yet.

“And this guy’s legit?” you asked for the nth time.

“Yes, Sam says he’s a great guy; sweet, handsome, thoughtful. He’s the whole package.”

“Mmmh.”

You eyed the pair of napkins the waiter had placed on the table along with your drinks, and wondered if it would be appropriate to stick them under your armpits to sop up the sweat trickling down your sides.

“Oh, fuck it,” you grumbled, reaching for the napkins.

You patted your armpits dry while you anxiously scanned the growing crowd. It was a high end bar, definitely not your usual hang out spot. The patrons were dressed in designer clothes and wore jewellery that cost more than your three years of art classes at the School of Visual Arts.

“Do we really have to stay sober?”

Natasha cocked a brow at you. “You don’t drink.”

You only groaned in response.

“I know how you’re feeling, I’ve been there, too,” she replied. “It’ll be like a normal first date. You’ll get to know each other, see if you guys hit it off, and if everything goes well you’ll talk about the arrangement. You can’t give consent if you’re under the influence of alcohol, so drink your lemonade and stop fussing, yeah?”

Like an obedient child, you brought the bent straw to your lips and took a quick sip of the icy refreshment. You toyed with the straw and watched the ice cubes slowly shrink. It was strangely soothing.

“They’re here.”

And just like that, your panic returned full force. You snapped your head up and tried to smile when you saw Sam approaching your table. You set your drink down on the coffee table and wiped your clammy hands on your dress.

Natasha stood up and gave Sam a kiss. While she wiped off a smudge of lipstick she had left on his upper lip, you glanced at the man behind Sam.

He was tall, muscular, and had a mysterious air about him. He was dressed casually, in black jeans and white t-shirt with a maroon bomber jacket that suited his pale complexion. The left sleeve of his jacket was tucked inside, empty.

Even without being an expert in behaviour analysis, you could tell he felt uncomfortable. He bowed his head to hide his face and kept looking around as if someone was going to attack him or as if he wanted to know where the nearest exit was.

Sam whispered something in the man’s ear and clapped him on the back before he turned to you.

“Okay, we’ll let you guys get to know each other.” Natasha looped her arm through Sam’s, and gave you an encouraging smile. You heard Sam whispering to his friend again. “Buck, seriously, you look like someone shoved a broomstick up your ass. Relax, man.”

“We’ll be over at the bar if you need anything.”

She gave you a thumbs-up as Sam led her across the crowd, toward the bar. With an authoritative look, Sam pointed to the seat across from yours and mouthed ‘sit’ at his friend who rolled his eyes and ground his teeth in response.

“Hi,” you started, trying to sound cheerful but the slight tremble in your voice gave you away.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” he cut you off, “you seem like a nice girl but I’m not looking for anyone, least of all a sugar baby. I told Sam it was a stupid idea, but he never listens. This has nothing to do with you, I’m sure you’re great. I’m really sorry, I hope you’re not disappointed.”

He had barely made eye contact with you during his long-winded speech but you did notice that they were blue. Now that you knew this wasn’t going anywhere, your shoulders lowered and you felt yourself smiling.

“Of course, I understand. I wasn’t particularly thrilled, too. No offense.”

He bent his head and ran a hand through his hair, his lips curved up in a soft smile. “Is your friend as meddling as mine?”

You let out a loud laugh, your eyes widening. “More! If meddling were an Olympic sport, Nat would have more medals than Michael Phelps.”

His shoulders shook in a soundless chuckle but he still wasn’t looking at you. “So why’d you agree?”

You took your glass of lemonade and played with the straw while you searched for an answer that wouldn’t sound too desperate or dramatic. You majestically failed.

“I guess I felt like I had nothing to lose.” You shrugged. “It’s like when you’re standing on the edge of a cliff and you only have two options; jumping off the cliff or getting eaten by a pack of wolves,” you said, checking them off on your fingers as you enumerated them. “You have to choose the lesser of two evils.”

He frowned, a curious glint in his eyes and a hint of a smile curved his lips. Your eyes widened when you realized you might have offended him.

“Not that I think you’re evil,” you rushed to add. “What I meant to say is that sometimes you don’t really have a choice. And when you have no other option but to jump, well... your chances are infinite. Anything can happen.”

He slowly raised his eyes to meet yours, a form of understanding in the depth of his icy blue eyes. He was truly handsome; a little older than the men you usually went out with, but he had kind eyes and very, very nice lips. You looked away, feeling a little foolish.

“Wow, I’m fun at parties, uh? Guess you dodged a bullet,” you laughed, cringing a little as you said it.

He returned a tight smile, loaded with something sad. He looked at you a moment longer and you held your breath, suddenly hoping he would stay and chat. A solemn expression crossed his face and he seemed to go through some kind of inner struggle before he reached a decision.

“It was nice meeting you,” he said, shaking your hand before wishing you goodnight. You watched him leave the bar, his shoulders hunched forward, looking as tense as he did when he entered.

That tiny flicker of hope left with him.

“Hey!” Sam called out, a deep frown on his face as he approached you. “Where is he going?”

“It didn’t work out,” you answered with a shrug.

Sam deflated. “I bet he didn’t even try.”

“Does it really matter?” you replied, shrugging into your coat, something way too thin for the changing weather. “He’s not ready, and honestly, you can’t blame him. This sugar daddy-baby thing isn’t for everyone.”

“I know that,” Sam argued, blowing out a frustrated breath. He turned to Natasha, silently pleading with her to understand, but she was as clueless as you were.

There were lots of reasons Sam wanted Bucky to meet you, and none of them included sex. It was difficult to explain his motivations without betraying his friend’s trust; without telling you too much about Bucky.

“I’m not trying to find him a girlfriend,” Sam continued. “He needs more friends, and he has connections to help you in the art world. I thought you two could help each other out.”

You wrapped your scarf around your neck and grabbed the backpack you had shoved under your seat. It contained your work uniform, clean underwear, toiletries, a bottle of water, your wallet, and a couple of granola bars. Your whole life was in that backpack.

“I’m sorry, Sam,” you said, adjusting the trap of your bag. “I guess it wasn’t meant to be.” You turned to Nat. “I’m going to stay at the hotel tonight, my shift starts at 6 so you’ll have the apartment to yourself.”

Without waiting for an answer, you disappeared into the crowd and headed for the door. Outside the wind was blowing, the cold air biting at your face and bare legs. You took a deep breath, watching as the cold air turned your breath into white smoke.

People were milling about, taking pictures of the skyscrapers, walking hand-in-hand and marvelling at pretty much anything. New York was full of contradictions; kind and hard, smooth and rough, poor and rich. It was exciting to live here, it was exciting to see how people lived together despite their differences. For an artist such as yourself, it was a gold mine of infinite inspiration.

In front of you, a taxi drove closer to the curb, then slowed as a man stepped onto the street and opened the door. He looked over his shoulder and saw you standing there. Sam’s friend smiled at you.

He noticed your light coat, your backpack and your scuffed ankle boots. It was hard to believe that under your coat, you were wearing a sexy little number. He imagined that this was more your style, and he liked it. It was fresh, laidback, casual. He could even see a few drops of paint on the toe of your boots, a smattering of orange and blue.

“Hi, again,” he said. “Wanna share a cab?”

You nodded eagerly, your face half buried in your scarf. You were positively freezing, you didn’t even think twice about following him. He let you climb in first and jumped in after you, angling his body to hide his missing arm.

You gave the driver the address of a Holiday Inn in the Flatiron District and sank into the seat. It dawned on you that you didn’t even know his name. Sam had called him Buck, but you were pretty sure it was one of those nicknames only long-time friends are allowed to use.

“Bucky,” he said with a genuine smile after you told him your name. “I’m sorry I ruined your evening. How long are you going to stay in town?”

“No worries, you didn’t ruin anything. And I live in New York. I live with Natasha.”

“Aren’t we going to a hotel?” Bucky asked, looking out the window with a frown.

“Yup, I work there. Breakfast attendant. I figured Sam and Nat would like some privacy and sometimes my co-worker at the front desk let me borrow a room for the night.”

The car pulled to a stop at the curb and you reached into the front pocket of your backpack to retrieve your wallet. Bucky stopped you.

“Please, let me pay,” he said. “As a sorry for dragging you to a bar and leaving without even telling you my name.”

“Ouch, yes, when you put it like that it wasn’t a great night,” you said with a crooked smile. He responded with an exaggerated cringe. It made you laugh. “Hey, it wasn’t you who dragged me to a bar, it was Sam. You can always tell him to pay you back.”

His eyes brightened. “I definitely will.”

“Goodnight, Bucky,” you giggled, closing the door behind you. You walked up to the big automatic doors and waved goodbye one last time.

“’Night, angel.”

Bucky asked the driver to wait until you were safe inside before driving away. As he watched you, he thought back to what you had said earlier.

Your chances are infinite. Anything can happen.

This time, it made him smile.

part 2

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #marvel #marvel imagine #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes fanfiction #redgillan #redgillanwrites

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sleepyjuniper · 3 years

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HI! I am June, and I love movies! I've been working on something, and I don't usually post my work because I don't get a lot of views, but I feel what I've written here is really important, and I would very much appreciate a read, and maybe an upvote if you enjoy what you've read! I've really put my heart out on the line here, and it would be great for it to get some traction, so a movie I care about greatly can finally get some recognition.

So, Home is now back on Netflix. As a result, the passion I've always felt for this film has been rekindled, and now feels like the perfect time to bring it back to attention, to get it the praise it truly deserves. To explain, I was watching it last week and I suddenly had an epiphany. I suddenly connected more with Oh's character than I ever had before, and every little detail in the movie started to pop out at me and further strengthen this feeling. I became so obsessed with the depth of it's heavy emotional scenes and gorgeous visuals that I immediately got to writing. It gets a bit tricky to collect my thoughts every time I try to address what this writing actually is; it's not necessarily an analysis, not necessarily an essay, because it lacks direction and a real conclusion, or motive, I guess. I'm simply going in depth into the scenes that I think are most pivotal to Oh's development as a character, and providing my own personal insight into how he's thinking and what he's feeling, based on the evidence I am able to glean from what the movie shows me, rather than tells me. I'm picking into each scene and bringing to light the specific details that make it so powerful to me, and how these details allow me to fully understand and connect with the characters in a way I can't with other films.

But regardless of what it is, the more in depth I go, the more it speaks to me, and the more I understand it. The more reason I have to believe that Oh has a perfect character arc, which is so well written and perfectly pulled off, that it creates a movie that is authentic, heartfelt, and complete in every way. There's simply no other like it. Now, with no further ado, let's get into it.

Every good story starts with an introduction to the main character. The beginning scenes of Home introduce us to Oh's character perfectly. They depict him as an adorable misfit with a propensity to make mistakes, who just wants to make friends. We learn that he is widely disliked by the rest of the Boov because of his differences, that he adores Captain Smek, and that he believes Boov are best at everything. We learn a lot about his personality too. All the Boov look similar, but he is much more animated than the other Boov, moving with more energy, and appears to be in a perpetual state of excitement. He’s the only Boov we see smiling at first, and what really sets him out is the way he emotes. While most of the Boov carry neutral expressions, their eyebrows relaxed, his eyebrows are constantly raised and his eyes are wide, making them stand out much more prominently. His color changing also adds an extra layer to his character, allowing us to see even deeper into what he's feeling at any given point during the movie. The movie can tell us more, with less words. It is immediately apparent to the audience just how different Oh is from the rest of his people; we can clearly see from the get-go that Oh's emotions work differently than the rest of the Boov. And this only adds to the impact of later scenes, as he starts to experience more complex emotions and venture further into unknown territory.

When the starting conflict of the story is introduced, we learn about the first real challenge he needs to overcome. He made a mistake, and is now on the run from his own people, who want to arrest him. Right now, his motivation is simply to avoid capture. It can be assumed that until now, Oh hasn't faced danger alone. He's likely faced danger while the Boov were running away from the Gorg, but he was always facing the threat with the rest of his species. This is the first time he's been completely alone while running from something, and it's all his fault too. We can pick all of this up from context, and feel sympathy for him and his terror, which is very much justified.

When Oh and Tip first meet, they start out not liking each other, and have conflicting opinions. Oh believes the Boov are more advanced than humans because Smek said so, and he doesn't understand why Tip cares so much about one human. Conversely, Tip hates Oh because his species is the reason she's separated from her mother. They are agreeing to work together out of common interest, that's it. Oh has promised to help Tip find her mom, but he does this only to avoid capture. These scenes are full of fun quips and hilarious antics, as the movie starts to build up a foundation for Oh's character dynamic with Tip. What the movie conveys to us is that these two characters don't know each other, and don't have any interest in listening to and understanding each other.

Things really pick up later in the movie. Oh disappears for a long while, and when he returns, Tip yells at him, and he stops in his tracks, looking genuinely astounded and confused by her anger. He was especially shocked that she was afraid he'd been hurt. We can actually see the moment he does a double-take at the realization that she had been worried about him. Likely, no one has ever worried about him before. For the first time, we see him actually absorb what she's saying, listening to her with a curious expression as she tells him to try and put himself in her shoes. Tip explains to him that kids aren't supposed to be by themselves, and that the Boov's arrival ruined everything for her. When Oh says that Boov don't have families, she remarks that it's no wonder they take things and don't care about anyone else. This gives him pause, and he appears to think carefully, before speaking. No amount of explanation can really do this scene justice, so a direct quote of his monologue is needed. He says: "So, your mimom.. is a very important humansperson to you. More important than others. To not belong with her.. causes you being sad. But, recent moments ago, you are kicking on me and yelling. Which is seeming more to be mad than sad." This gives us the first true indication that Oh is trying to be more open minded. Tip tells him to try and feel how she feels, and he does. With genuine sincerity, he's trying to understand how Tip can be feeling two emotions at once. Tip looks surprised by his sincerity, and has no energy to continue talking, but she listens, and she gets back into the car when he's finished. Not only does Oh state out loud that humans are more complicated than he thought, this scene is important because it's the first time they have anything close to a genuine moment of understanding. Simply put; he sees her react in a way he didn't anticipate, is perplexed by it, and pushes aside his own belief that he already knows everything about humans, and just asks her questions to understand her better. It is the first small sign of growth we get to see from him.

Tip and Oh gradually warm up to each other more over the course of their next few escapades. Oh explains to Tip why he's in trouble, and Tip realizes he's sad, and cheers him up by teaching him about jokes. They make a plan to give Oh a makeover so they can sneak into the Great Antenna without being caught, and Tip seems amused by his antics rather than annoyed. In the Antenna, Oh helps Tip find out where her mom is, and Tip hugs him. He looks surprised and uncertain for a moment, but quickly adjusts to it and even smiles, turning orange and hugging her back. From the information we have, we can extrapolate that this may or may not be the first time he's ever been hugged, due to the Boov's aversion to both Oh and physical contact. This is the most affection Tip has expressed with him so far, and he seems to just melt into it. He also looks as if he wasn't ready for the hug to end so abruptly. It's a sensation he's unfamiliar with, but immediately decides he wants.

This is when we see Oh, specifically, starting to trust Tip a bit more and even maybe like her, and their escape from the Tower shows them working with a newfound chemistry as they outsmart the Boov. We can tell Oh is scared at several points during the scene, because his yellow coloring indicates it, but he's also grabbing onto Tip as if it gives him reassurance. He trusts her enough to at least find comfort in her presence, which is something that wasn't true of their relationship in the beginning.

Following the events of the Eiffel Tower scene, Tip starts to talk about her mom, excited to find her and maybe even come back to Paris. When she turns around, Oh is standing further away and looking at the now wrecked central command, his skin displaying a dejected blue color. What does he have to come back to after everything is over? Tip knows where she belongs, but Oh would never be able to go back to the Boov in safety after his mistake. He is questioning his belonging. Tip notices he's sad, and attempts to cheer him up. It doesn't work, but Oh does something that surprises Tip. He apologizes to her. During the confrontation with Smek, Oh finally realized how Smek was wrong for causing the misunderstandings between Boov and Humans, and that he would never accept any Boov for showing individuality. Oh acknowledges everything that he previously thought about humans was wrong, and that Captain Smek was also wrong. He even looks ashamed to tell her that in the beginning, the Boov thought humans were simple and uncomplicated, and that they needed the Boov. He tells her he thinks the Boov should never have interfered with Earth, and that he's sorry for how it affected her. He doesn't say anything during his apology that would guilt Tip into responding a certain way; just gives an honest apology, and allows her the freedom to decide how she reacts. This is something that's incredibly meaningful coming from Oh. He's not trying to get anything from her, he's just apologizing for something he was complacent in and is now feeling regretful about. It's raw and heartfelt. She hands him the keys, and he looks surprised at first, then gives a huge smile, holding the keys close to his heart and turning orange.

The following scene is perhaps the most important one in the film, and is incredibly impactful. Accompanied by the gentle tune of a song that slowly gets louder as the movie switches from dialogue between characters to simply visual storytelling, we watch as Oh and Tip take turns driving, and exchange vulnerability with each other, both describing their own experiences with being misfits. We see them laughing together, taking selfies, and just in general enjoying each other's company. Tip completely accepts Oh for who he is, and in turn he lets his walls down, and is finally able to be himself. This is a real bond they've formed. They are truly friends. Both look nothing alike, yet have so much in common.

Finally, we see Oh taking his turn driving at night while Tip sleeps, and he goes to tuck her back in when her blanket falls down. As we hear Kiezca's 'Cannonball' playing in the background (and on the radio) he takes a moment to appreciate the things in the car, discovering he does indeed enjoy them. Finally, he adjusts his mirror to watch Tip sleep, and we see him slowly turn a brand new color: pink. If you were to recap his life so far, the significance of this moment becomes clear. Oh is outgoing and friendly, but he's never fit in in his entire life. No matter how hard he tried to fit in with the Boov, he simply had emotional needs that the rest of the Boov did not, and as such they did not care about or recognize his need. Tip is the first person who has ever listened to him and gotten to know him, and accepted him for who he is. She's his first friend. In this moment, he is looking at Tip, and he's feeling something he's never felt before: love. It feels like a part of him he's always been missing has finally been found. For the first time in his life, he feels like he belongs.

We find Oh further appreciating Tip's qualities when they find the Gorg super-chip; he was afraid to go towards the ship but she convinced him, and when it worked out he realized that her idea had worked out better than his would have. He realized he can achieve things through being brave rather than giving up; essentially, if you don't even try, you can never succeed. You can see in his expression after Tip smirks at him that he was surprised; he realized he had faced his fears, all because of Tip's help.

We see a monumental backslide in his progress when he leaves Tip instead of staying by her side and fulfilling his promise. His greatest challenge is revealed to be that he's still not brave; not brave enough to put his faith in the one he cares about, not brave enough to face his fears and stick by her no matter what. We do know that he's terrified; both of being left alone, and of losing Tip. He has just found a sense of belonging with Tip that he's never felt before, and he can't bear to lose that. He tries to bring her with him, and she feels betrayed and breaks off the friendship. The detail that went into this scene makes it incredibly impactful. It's raw and filled with emotion. For context, during the course of the movie, we only see a Boov go pale in the face during a few very intense situations, and said pale-ing was usually followed by fainting. This suggests that a lack of color is indicative of a much stronger, primal emotion: dread, or pain. When Tip turns and leaves, he loses pigment. He blanches, and staggers. There's a physical impact of Tip's words on Oh. This isn't simply sadness or fear he's feeling, it's anguish. It's his world falling apart, his heart breaking. He is quite literally torn in two, as he looks back and forth between his best friend and his chance at escape, changing rapidly from red to yellow to blue and back again. It emphasizes his turmoil; the panic he feels at seeing a rapidly closing window to decide what action to take, before he turns back to what he's always known, running away. There's high stakes on both sides, and we as an audience can feel his pain, as he displays clear indecision and helplessness at this impossible choice.

As the Boov travel farther from Earth, bringing the Gorg with them, Oh and Tip have never been farther apart. As the Gorg mothership closes in, everyone runs to the other side of the ship; all except Oh, who stares it down. He knows he can save everyone. He pulls out the super-chip, his gaze hardening with determination, and runs against the flow of the crowd to plant it in the control panel. Everyone stops to stare in disbelief, crowding around him afterwards, curious to hear him speak. Smek tries to ostracize him for acting unBoov-like, and Oh directly challenges him. He tells the listening crowd that he used to believe what Smek said was right, but he'd learned things that said otherwise. He talks about the human he met, and how she's smart and brave, and has an emotional capacity for caring for others that Boov lack. During this monologue, we see his skin turn pink again as he talks about Tip, reminding us as that he does still care about her. This also reminds him of his own actions, and he turns blue, concluding his speech by saying that the Boov may be better in some ways, but not in the ways he thinks are most important now. He realizes that Tip has strengths that are/would have been useful many times for the Boov. This is when it becomes apparent that he's regretting leaving; Tip made him stronger, and he now knows he can be as brave as she is.

Which is why it's an incredible payoff scene when he is made leader. He's surrounded by Boov who are cheering for him, but he feels lonelier than ever. He wanted to be accepted, but he wasn't ready to be looked up to. It doesn't feel right, he doesn't belong here. When he watches the view of Earth grow smaller as it fades into the distance, he actually cries, and catches a tear as it rolls down his cheek, a pensive look crossing his face. He pulls out Tip's keychain, and all in one instant he realizes why he's so miserable. He doesn't feel like he belongs here, because he belongs with Tip. It's where he's meant to be. He turns pink, looking hopeful, and in the next scene he turns up on earth, by himself, and finds Tip. It's not really necessary to explain why this is an important development; we can see everything there is to be said in the way they compose the scene. There's also the parallel shots where we see Tip and Oh both pushing through crowds and both looking completely alone despite all the people around them, emphasizing that they need each other. Oh just had to figure out he could follow Tip's example, what he'd learned from her bravery, to realize he could still salvage things. He realized a life feeling alone among the Boov was worth nothing, and a life with someone he truly cares about is worth facing any danger, no matter what may come.

Oh and Tip are reunited, and he tells her what he learned, that he realized she's his friend, and he belongs with her. You can see from the look they share that both of them feel this way. They've come full circle, to a full understanding and acceptance of each other.

Oh helps Tip find her mom, finally fulfilling his promise, and when the Gorg attack and he realizes it's because of the Boov, he tells Tip he's fixing his mistake, protecting the reunited family by making it so they're unable to chase him and be put in danger. He loves Tip, and he wants her and the human she cares most about to be safe. He's not about to let her risk losing that. So, bravely, yet stupidly, he runs to the Gorg mothership and holds up the thing they've been chasing the Boov for all this time. He tries to do it on his own, which is a major sign of his growth as a character, but the only reason the Gorg actually see him is because Tip has his back. He was fully prepared to sacrifice himself. When the ship is closing in on him, and the dust and sparks are blinding him, he turns around, and sees Tip running to him. He smiles, his trust fully in her; if he doesn't get out of this, she can save everyone else. He throws the rock to her before the ship covers him, choosing to put his faith in her in what he believes to be his final moments. He went from caring only about his own survival, to caring about the survival of his best friend, and wanting Tip to help make peace with the Gorg so the Boov and humans can be safe as well.

After we see Tip mourn for Oh before it's revealed that he's okay, she pulls him in for a hug, and he immediately embraces her back, then over Tip's shoulder we see him looking at her fondly, smiling, and he turns a vibrant pink as he closes his eyes and leans into the hug. Just by the look in his eyes in this scene, we can see that he's fully appreciating this being who cared about him enough to listen to him, to stand by him and stand up for him, and run after him when he's in danger. In this moment, he's getting a second chance to embrace her, when he went in not knowing if he'd ever see her again. In this moment it was all worth it. Because he looks at her, and he is home.

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mbti-notes · 3 years

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Hi, I’m from post 649288793015386112. I didn’t do a good job of elucidating the nuances surrounding my question. That’s my aim here. The deal is that I don’t “lack in judgement” in other areas of life. In other cognitive contexts I operate off of the framework that there is an optimal answer that can be derived by critical analysis whether it comes to which distinctions can be made, whether something is rooted coherently, or what have you. 1/8

I'm not going to copy the rest of your message because of the length. Your detailed explanation was helpful for giving me a better idea of what’s going through your mind.

If you are INTP, you should know that Ti-Si loop is a major development problem. You can conceptualize it as a closed system. It doesn't have any meaningful interaction with the external world and it isn't subject to any external forces. When a system is closed, what information moves through it? The only thing available is old information. Old info is input, reused, repurposed, recycled, regurgitated, and then output in worse condition than when it started. You try to jimmy and reconfigure what little you know, every which way, in hopes of finally discovering the solution to the problem that plagues you. The result? A recurring problem. Or worse case scenario, a recurring problem that becomes more severe over time.

When you make a mistake or meet a failure, a closed system can't learn from it. Why? Because a closed system can't get to the root of the problem. If you don't address the root cause, you can't come up with a good solution. To truly get to the root of a problem often requires a complete change in perspective, i.e., a massive structural change to the system itself. You subtly externalize the problem by believing that feelings/people are inexplicably difficult to understand when you should be asking yourself why the system that you use to understand the problem never outputs a successful solution. As you put it, you keep using T to solve F problems. It's nonsensical. Why would you use T to solve F problems when F problems are best solved by using F? I suppose the problem has now recurred enough times that you're finally reaching out to get a new perspective. That's a glimmer of progress.

If you are INTP, using F is risky because it's the inferior function. Thus, the remedy to Si loop is auxiliary Ne development (it is explained in the study guides, so read them). Ne development requires you to entertain NEW possibilities, gather NEW information, and learn NEW ways of looking at the situation. In your analytical process, you somehow always manage to convince yourself that you're trying a “new” method to tackle the problem, but it isn't really new. It's always the same T system in a bad wig. When Ne is poorly developed, you believe that you have the ability to entertain various possibilities, but you don't realize that your imagination is severely limited. In other words, the more immature Ne is, the more blind you are to new possibilities.

Most of the INTPs I've gotten close to have always been kind, helpful, and morally principled people. Sure, inferior Fe makes them quite slow to process information about feelings and social issues, but it doesn't ultimately stop them. They never use inferior Fe as an excuse to relinquish their social and moral responsibilities. You said: "I don’t know why people feel the way they do, and it really isn't an area of interest". It sounds like the real problem isn't inferior Fe but actually something more akin to willful ignorance.

"A person is commonly called willfully ignorant about a matter when he persistently ignores the topic despite its likely salience and even resists learning about it or assimilating facts that bear on it... Willful ignorance connects being ignorant of something with ignoring that thing. Ignoring involves a refusal of attention." (source: Understanding Ignorance: The Surprising Impact of What We Don't Know)

You basically say that emotional life and social life are unimportant or uninteresting to you. It is no wonder, then, that you know nothing about them. People don’t bother to learn when they don’t care. And yet you still (arrogantly) claim to know the general idea of how people's brains work when you really don't. It seems that you want to go through life only caring about the things that you choose to care about and ignoring all the things that you don't want to care about. This is called small-mindedness and it is what makes Ti-Si loop a huge obstacle to personal growth. And if you reach the point of being irrationally resentful about being “forced” to care about things you don’t want to care about, then Fe grip is not far off. If everyone was so small-minded, the world would be worse off. There would be no one like me willing to help out someone like you simply out of kindness.

I intend for my blog to be used by people who are fully ready, willing, and committed to change. Be honest. Are you really willing to change your mind? I don't offer people quick fixes. When it comes to self-help for psychological issues, if you want to learn and improve something, you must learn it for the right reasons. Otherwise, you just end up using bandaids that either don't really last or don't really solve anything. You've already cycled through "surface-level fixes" so many times. You give the impression that you fundamentally don't care about the thing that you're asking me about. You're only asking because it has come to bother you. That's not a real commitment to change.

To understand interpersonal relationships and navigate them successfully, you must: 1) understand emotional life and be committed to improving your own emotional intelligence, 2) be emotionally invested in the lives of others, and 3) have the moral capacity to see people as individuals, each deserving of special consideration (as opposed to just interchangeable objects). When you meet those criteria, you’ll have the right intention for learning. There are plenty of resources out there about improving social skills, including how to build relationships, and how to avoid relationship pitfalls. I’ve already written a lot about it and provided book suggestions for in depth learning. However, if you try to apply those ideas now, when your intention is merely for your own benefit, all the while keeping your closed T system intact, then you will have completely missed the point about what it means to be in a relationship.

To put it more bluntly: 1) If you don't want to pay attention to social interactions, then why would you expect them to go well for you? Do you think that socializing should just magically go well without any attention or effort from you? 2) If you don't care about emotional well-being, then why should anyone care about yours? Is it not hypocritical to expect people to be moral toward you when you treat them with little more than indifference?

When you don’t recognize that you exist in the social world, have an effect on the social world, and care about the social effects you produce, then you signal to people that you are nothing of note in the social world. And people treat you accordingly. You could change that at any time by choosing to care. Then the real learning can finally begin.

#intp #intp relationships #si loop #fe grip #inferior fe #willful ignorance #small minded #small mindedness #indifference #social skills #ask

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readingsbylibramc · 3 years

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birth chart reading for @xxg0thbabyxx

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a seesaw shape. your life focuses on different ideals and interests, often constrasting between each other. from one side, this gives you the ability to be adaptable and find solutions easily. on the other hand, you may struggle with balance; for example, you might find yourself dedicating your life to your relationships, neglecting your ego or viceversa. you need to learn how to harmonize these energies.

your dominant planets are mercury, the sun and uranus. you are definitely a very charismatic person, you are sociable and people see you as someone easy to approach. you look and are friendly, you try to make everyone comfortable, even though you could change your mind pretty often. because of that, people can see you as too unpredictable or impulsive.

your dominant sign is gemini. you are a very intelligent individual, you are thirsty for knowledge and you also have great communication skills. you have a witty sense of humor, you're able to make everyone feel at ease with your sympathy. people may say you're two-faced, but in reality you just act in the most appropriate way based on the situation you're in. you despise boredom, you're very experimental in your life, but others may mistake this trait for flakiness.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking for knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌎 ascendant in gemini, 2° / 1st decan ruled by mercury

you enjoy communicating and intellectualism. you’re very curious about everything that surrounds you. you love expanding your knowledge, ideas and mind in general through communication, interactions and media. you have the ability to adapt quickly to new situations; your mind is fast, usually impulsive, even though this energy may not be much prominent; it may be perceived differently due to your libra energy, in fact. that’s because libra prefers organizing things, rather than acting impulsively. yet, this placement still helps you being adaptable to changes, even though you may only be able to see it after a few years if you manage to balance it well. you may also be able to match the energy of the people you’re talking to in order to be perceived as more likeable and connect with everyone on a deeper level. you may be fond of books, poetry, literature… both writing and reading. it’s also a way to let yourself tune to your emotions. since you’re constantly mentally active, physically you may also tend to play with your fingers or hair, or maybe you tend to gesticulate while you speak. appearance-wise, I assume you’re at least of average height, with long limbs and fingers. you have something small about your face; you may either have a small nose, or eyes, lips etc. same thing goes for your bones. you may be naturally skinny, or perhaps you have healthy curves. you also tend to look younger than you actually are, especially when growing up. you may often be, or at least look, sleepy. your eyes have a very dreamy look to them, and they’re probably almond-shaped.

gemini ascendant square pisces moon: you may have troubles understanding others’ real feelings for you. you may feel as if everyone hates you, like everyone is talking behind your back when it’s the opposite. the moon being in pisces doesn't help either, as this aspect enhances its trust issues even more. you’re particularly sensitive about others’ view and opinion of you, you may get deeply hurt when people criticize you. you could have the tendency to act differently than you usually do, in order to preserve your feelings. this is obviously a toxic behaviour, that fills you up with your own stress and doubles it. due to that, you may become very moody and nervous, ending up hurting others yourself. or maybe, it’s the other way around; your feelings are so overwhelming that you can’t hide them, and that could put you in embarrassing, unpleasant situations. you may show all of your emotions on your face, ready to be read. the way to cope with this placement is finding someone similiar to you; someone who’s trust-worthy, and very sensitive and empathetic too. someone who’d never judge you for you think or say, and that would always help you becoming the best version of yourself. someone that understands you, without having to explain all of your behaviours and habits.

gemini ascendant opposite sagittarius pluto: you're aware that the world is too nasty for your honesty, hence you may have trust issues. even though you are friendly, you're very picky about who you decide to actually call your friend. you may constantly feel lonely, as if no one were willing to listen and understand you. you live with the fear that others may take advantage of you, hence you end up doing it yourself, unconsciously. you may be controlling, but your chart hints that it's not too much of a big deal. you may have the tendency to do it sometimes, but it's mostly a bad trait of your past life. the universe is testing you to see if you've learned your lesson or not. you have all the skills to avoid this type of behaviour now that you're aware of it.

🌞 sun in gemini, 15° / 2nd decan ruled by mercury and venus

with your sun in the mutable sign of gemini, you are a very light-hearted, chill individual. you're very bright and bubbly, you have amazing communication skills and also an entertaining sense of humor that is able to light up the room. you're very sociable, you like interacting with others, and with your heavy gemini energy in the rest of your chart, you don't find it hard to let this side of you out, especially with people you feel comfortable with. since gemini is a mutable sign, you most likely have tons of interests and hobbies, they're so many that you find it hard to keep up with all of them, despite being extremely good at multi-tasking. in fact, you're particularly intelligent and thirsty for knowledge. you like learning about everything, you love looking and being smart. it's your way to feel empowered and proud of yourself. you always need freshness in your daily life, you cannot stand boredom. because of that, you may often change your ideas, your hobbies, your favourite singer, etc. sometimes, you could even apply this to friends and lovers, and people may consider you unloyal or not much serious because of that. in addition, you get easily very anxious and stressed, to the point that you may seem dramatic to others.

gemini sun square pisces moon: with this aspect, what you need and what you want tend to clash. in your case, your gemini sun wants to be in the spotlight, you want to be sociable and have fun. you want to go out often and live life to the fullest, while your pisces moon is more private, it prefers being alone. as a result, you may come off as unpredictable and / or indecisive. you could struggle with being optimistic, as you have this inner turmoil in you that makes you struggle to attract positive situations in your life. you may often feel conflicted, as if you didn't have control over your emotions. you may have unstable self-esteem, one day you could be feeling extra confident and happy with yourself and then the next day you feel very insecure, you want to change everything about your persona. you could feel unwanted, or perhaps you actually used to feel unwanted during your childhood, perhaps by your parents, relatives or even by other children at school. you're basically a walking paradox, you want both intimacy and independence, stability and flexibility.

gemini sun opposite sagittarius pluto: probably during your childhood you couldn't make your own decisions. you might have been highly influenced by someone in your family, probably your father, and hence now you feel the need to have everything under control. maybe too much. you despise authority, you may even quite rebellious. maybe your parents have tried to convince you following their religion, ideals etc., without giving you freedom. or perhaps, they are overprotective and avoid to make you have experiences. I imagine that getting rid of your control issues, which are caused by this sense of not being in control of your life, may be the first step to finally heal your wound, which is somehow linked to the relationship with your friends and casual partners in your everyday life. start trusting others more, and don't be afraid of being 'fooled'. you're totally capable of understanding when someone is trying to hurt you, follow your intuition. even though it may be hard, even painful, it'll be the key to transform and overcome pluto's lessons to achieve your goals.

🌙 moon in pisces, 5° / 1st decan ruled by neptune

hands down my favourite moon sign! you're extremely empathetic and sensitive, you care a lot about others and you treat others' problems as if they were yours, you get totally immersed in them. you have quite a vivid imagination, you're able to idealize and picture anything you want. while this placement gives you an incredible amount of creativity, it can also make you uncomfortable. in fact, you may actually find yourself imagining every detail of every situation, even the worst ones. let's suppose you hear of a rape at the news; you literally start imagining the scene detail by detail, and it makes you extremely uncomfortable. actually, it literally ruins your mood, as it's as if you actually lived that scene. going back to the creativity matter, you have the soul of an artist; you have very enhanced emotions, and you're able to express them through artistic outlets. you could be amazing at writing poetry, books, art, music... also, your particular empathy of human's intellect can also make you an amazing psychologist or actress, as you're able to understand others' feelings and make them your own. you're extremely spiritual, and if you don't feel like that, you just have yet to have your spiritual awakening. you may be able to talk to spirits, for example, or perhaps you have very meaningful dreams. or maybe, you could literally predict the future through them. you're also most probably an avid daydreamer, you tend to get distracted easily because you're too busy thinking about random scenarios in your head. seriously, you could even make a movie out of them. you're also an hopeless romantic, and you dream of finding not just your spouse, but your literal soulmate. to make it simple, you want all of your daydreams to become reality.

pisces moon square sagittarius pluto: your emotions are so intense that they almost scare those around you. in fact, you're prone to accentuated mood swings; when you're happy, you start smiling and laughing joyfully. when you're sad, you're the type to cry, scream, even throw up in some cases. that's how far you go with your emotions. maybe, you also feel repressed to express your feelings exactly for this reason. you probably also have a conservative/possessive mother (or just any member of your family), with whom you don't feel at ease expressing your emotions. or maybe, your mother was absent throughout your life. on the other hand, you can understand others' feelings, but be careful not to use it to manipulate others. you could also be very paranoid, and might develop addictions and anxiety disorders, especially with your sensitive pisces moon.

🗣 mercury in gemini, 28° / 3rd decan ruled by mercury and uranus

mercury is in its natural place in gemini, your whole chart flows very well! you have great problem-solving skills, you are extremely intelligent and astute. when you were younger, you probably used to be the winner at games like hide-and-seek. this placement also enhances your thirst for knowledge of any kind, you want to learn at least a little about anything, from science to foreign cultures. yet, since you want to learn so many things all at once, you may lack precision and be a little bit superficial. on the other hand, you're a fast learner and you may often find people predictable, but in reality you're just ahead of them. you're also very open-minded, even though you still rely more on logic, not like your sister sign is sagittarius. yet, it's easy for you to be flexible in your day-to-day life, you don't have to follow a schedule to have everything under control, even though you may often suffer from stress and headaches due to this lack of organization. you may have a very youthful and positive voice, you just give off good vibes, you know?

❤️ venus in leo, 0° / 1st decan ruled by the sun

with leo venus you're very picky, as you have high expectations for your future partner. you always try to be at your best state, and you want those who surround you to be perfect too. it's hard for you to fall for someone, as you take everything in consideration: personality, physical appearance, fashion sense... it may look like it is too much, but once you find the right one that truly satisfies your standards, you're in for a long ride. you'll want to travel, live your life in the best way possible with the person you love. you look at them as if they were the brighest star in the sky, and you want to be seen like this as well. you may even be a bit clingy, but your partner needs to be aware of that. they can't repress your need for affection. you see love as a way to revive your inner child, you feel younger when you're in love. even though you want someone fun and outgoing, you also need someone ambitious, hard-working and generally serious when it comes to committing. there's no room in your life for flaky people.

leo venus square libra mars: this placement most likely gives you a short-temper. you may have lots of friends or lots of romantic partners, but you may find yourself being often irritated by them. you could argue with others over petty things, and this could affect your relationships significantly. at the same time, you enjoy fun, exciting relationships. you're the type who's looking for a risktaker, even dangerous partner. you hate boredom, and this may be your weakness regarding this placement; that is, once the relationship starts getting more serious, you feel as if it's going down, when it's actually the opposite. hence, you just run towards a new adventure. with this placement, what you need is learning to open up and being honest without being too blunt. you need to talk about your feelings, you can't bottle them up, but be careful not to sound rude, don't be too impulsive. because of your nature, the perfect partner for you would be someone mature, confident and empathetic that will understand you and won't get hurt by your words.

leo venus square aries jupiter: you come off as a very positive, happy-go-lucky person. you're extremely friendly, and this makes you be good at social relationships. you may have lots of friends, or at least you have the potential to make many if you opened up and talked to them. yet, while this energy gives you positive vibes, some people may take advantage of that, as you could easily be mistaken for naive. people can try to dominate you unconsciously (sometimes even on purpose) not only in relationships but even in friendships. aside from that, I don't think this placement causes you many problems. you may have the tendency to procrastinate and not work. you could be quite lazy and get easily distracted, as you're constantly with your head in the cloud.

leo venus opposite aquarius neptune: you probably dream of a love like those you hear about in fairytales; you're not only looking for a partner, you literally want a princess/prince, who's willing to give their all to you. you find yourself daydreaming often about love, and it may also be your source of inspiration for creativity and art in general. probably, you may idealize people too much; that is, you may create a version of others that only exists in your head. hence, once you get to know someone better, they turn out to be the exact opposite of what you thought. this causes you to be sort of naive when it comes to relationships, so pay extra attention to this problem now that you're aware of it.

☄️ mars in libra, 24° / 3rd decan ruled by venus and mercury

there’s this stereotype that libra mars people are passive-aggressive. it may be true, but only partially. in fact, you try to avoid conflicts exclusively when you’re in public, or maybe with someone you don’t know well. in that case, you can eventually try to avoid the problem. with people you’re close to, you’re pretty much the opposite. you may say the worst of things that you probably don’t even feel, you may even have the istinct to throw hands. you’re driven by a strong sense of justice, and you probably were the class’ snitch during daycare/primary school. you also strive for equality, hence you may get very defensive when it comes to proving your innocence, or just really anyone’s. overall, you’re a fair person with strong morals, who acts based on the situation you’re in.

libra mars opposite aries jupiter: you easily come off as more assertive and arrogant than you actually are. you say things impulsively, and sometimes you’re too blunt and hurt people’s feelings. you don’t do it on purpose, though, there’s no malice behind your acts; it’s just your natural way to express your opinions. you’re also very competitive, and this may make you look selfish. on a positive side, you probably have a naturally nice body (or maybe you react fast to diet/workout). you’re a risk-taker, and if you’re not you should try breaking the rules sometimes (obviously not doing illegal stuff lol). in fact, it’s when you’re both physically and mentally active that you’re able to come up with even better ideas, as you’re full of creativity. to cope with this placement, you can try doing something fun to challenge your mind, basically get out of your comfort-zone. of course you don’t have to overdo it, but it would be beneficial.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in gemini. your ego feels fulfilled when you express your opinions, ideas and creativity. people probably see you as an intelligent, wise individual. maybe even as a know-it-all. you care about both your inner and outer self, which may be the cause of your confidence issues. you try to fit into society, and you tend to change your approach to people based on who you’re interacting with. while this gives you great social skills, it may confuse you quite a bit. in fact, you may forget who you are. you may often have identity crisis, especially since you always feel as if you have to fit somewhere. your sun in this house makes you very confident and motivated to achieve your goals. you possess strong leadership, which makes you aspire for the best positions in work, school, marriage etc. you don't want to lower your standards. you hate routine; you always try to spice up your daily life a bit by meeting new people and trying new experiences in general. you enjoy having fun, partying, travelling... you thrive in social situations. you may have troubles making right decisions, as you're quite indecisive. but, once you do choose, no one is gonna stop you from achieving your goals and showing the world who you are. in fact, you gain confidence from your assertiveness, making you pretty proud of your persona as well.

your 2nd house is in gemini again, with also your mercury sitting there. you’re probably very intelligent, and your skills are what boost your self-esteem. you’re also capable of doing more than one thing at the same time. you could make money from communication, hence you could become a writer, a singer, a theraphist, a judge, even an influencer. anything that involves the use of words. you may also be quite intelligent, and your intellect and ideas are what make you feel most confident. you have a slow way of thinking and speaking. your voice may sound really calm and pleasant to hear, yet still strict and ambitious. you’re probably a good singer, or at least have the potential to become one. you tend to overthink a lot, but you eventually get to a conclusion and stick to it. no one is gonna change your mind. you enjoy learning and working in creative ways; you might enjoy using powerpoints, flashcards or maybe study with your friends, or listening to music. you also probably have a nice, aesthetic handwriting and you like organizing your agenda. your voice is probably very soft and youthful.

your 3rd house is in cancer. your parents were probably successful in school and university, and they passed down their knowledge to you. maybe, you may have the same interests or passions as them, or perhaps they want you to be academically successful just like them. you may also find yourself talking about your memories, as you’re very attached to them, or even directly about your childhood/parents. your venus is also in this house: your flirting style most probably includes jokes, teasing… things like that. even though you may seem flaky, as you like experiencing romance with different types of people, you’re actually quite picky. in fact, in order to fall for someone, you need to feel mentally attracted to them, not just physically. someone ignorant and stubborn that doesn’t care about learning something most definitely isn’t for you. you’re not the type to be super romantic and sweet with your partner or just people in general. you show your affection for example by sending them memes, making ironic jokes about them etc. also, when you’re into someone, you probably get very talkative! you start asking them simple questions about their life, even things like 'did you have lunch?’.

your 4th house is in leo. your family had great expectations of you, which could have eventually led to anxiety/self-esteem issues. on the other hand, your parents cared about you, and they always made sure that you had everything you needed. if you have siblings, you were most likely the favourite child in the family, or at least you were spoiled by your parents, both with material things and affection. overall, your childhood wasn’t much turbulent, even though your parents most likely were quite strict with you. there could have been a bit of arguing as well aside from restrictions, and hence it was hard for you to establish a proper emotional bond with them. because of that, you may feel a little insecure now, as you may constantly feel misunderstood by others.

your 5th house is in virgo. you enjoy relax, yet you may feel guilty to abandon work for a while. you always feel like you have something to do, and that doesn’t allow you to fully enjoy your rest time. make sure to always find some space for yourself, though. it’s where your energy resides, you feel at home and comfortable exploring your abilities, you shouldn’t take them for granted. also, this enhances your writing abilities even more. in fact, you’re both creative to create stories and rational to tell them objectively and in a clear manner. you're picky with your lovers and friends, it takes time for you to open up to someone and fully trust them, but once you do, you're very loyal. I don't see you being as extroverted as other geminis, you need your alone time, but you definitely don't mind spending time with your loved ones and close friends.

your 6th house is in libra. you most likely involve beauty, art, aesthetics and creativity in your daily routine. your home environment probably looks very neat and well-designed. you care a lot about it, as much as you care about yourself; you put a lot of attention in your outfits and looks too, and you most likely love shopping. this is another placement that indicates that your ideal career should serve your need for creativity and self-expression. it’s very important for you to pursue a career that helps you find a way to express the creative side of your mind. you may also often find yourself dating people from your daily routine, hence co-workers, classmates etc. mars is also placed in this house: your life revolves around being productive. you don't like to waste your time, you always try to learn and gain something useful from everything you do. that's caused by the fact that you're motivated to be perfect in what you like; this, combined with your competitive nature, may often cause you to burn out.

your 7th house is in sagittarius. you want your marriage to be a constant travel for you, in which you can both relax and learn. you want to marry a witty and impulsive partner, that is also fun to live with. you may often find yourself falling for unavailable people, either physically or emotionally (or even both). they may be foreign, or at least they’re able to speak a different language from yours. they could also have a different culture/religion from yours. overall, they're also very wise, outgoing and surprisingly open-minded and philosophical. you could meet them in a place where you go to relax, such as the movie theater, a spa, the beach or even during a vacation. your sagittarius pluto is also sitting in this house: you tend to attract very intense partners. your future spouse will be very loyal and fond of you, but they may be a little too obsessive for you. it will be a very intimate relationship, but you may struggle with control. in fact, you’ll most likely be both very possessive and easily jealous, and there may be some arguments regarding this issue. with this placement, you may also attract ‘broken’ people, such as drug dealers, alcoholics, abusers… yet, as I’ve already mentioned, you also have jupiter (sagittarius) in this house, which makes you luckier when it comes to love. you’ll most likely avoid this type of people, but your relationships will still be very karmic. they may be painful, as you love hard when you fall for someone, but they’ll be crucial for your self-growth. you may also find yourself being attracted to mature, possibly older people, from different cultures / country from yours.

your 8th house is in sagittarius again. you’re very curious when it comes to taboo topics, you like learning about them. you’re probably into conspiracy theories, as well as matters like astrology, tarots, horror, tragedies, violence… you can use them to transform yourself and grow up, so you could definitely use this birth chart reading to improve yourself. 8th house is also the house of karma, and yours is kind of strange. you may often feel like you’re right about something, e.g the sky is blue. you’re very proud of your observation, but then it turns out to be different. it’s like the universe is constantly teaching you new things. luckily, this is something that gets better with time. in addition, having sagittarius here is great, as jupiter kind of protects you from the 8th house’s malefic themes. all the negative things that could happen to you, are actually blessings that are here to help you. you just need to be a little bit more optimistic, the universe has your back.

your 9th house is in capricorn, with also your neptune sitting there. you have a pragmatic approach to philosophy, school and experiences in general. for example, you may be the type to plan every day of a travel. at school, you were probably the type to prefer more logical subjects, but I assume that you were good at all of them. with neptune being also here, you may come across a lot of unexpected and confusing events in your life, especially when you’re entering a new phase of your life. yet, you may often get lost in your thoughts and get unmotivated from time to time. you most likely love travelling and making new experiences. if you had to choose how to spend your spare time, you’d most likely choose to travel somewhere. you’re also extremely open-minded, you hardly ever have prejudices. you surely don’t judge people from their sexuality, skin colour etc. last but not least, you may also have a knack for philosophy, poetry, literature, history… anything that can open your mind and stimulate your creativity.

your 10th house is in aquarius with also your moon and uranus placed there. your uranus is tightly conjunct the midheaven. you want to stand out from the crowd, you strive to establish your own morals and beliefs. you don’t want to conform to anything and anyone, as you’re a trend-setter and you want to be seen as such. you’d rather have a job where you can handle your work yourself, rather than having a boss. in fact, aquarius in this house makes you extremely resolute and motivated to achieve your goals and be independent. you may not be much interested in love, and if you are, you don’t overlook career either. having a stable and successful future that makes you happy is the key for happiness in your life. it’s important to be focused when working, especially for you. yet, once you know how to balance this tricky energy and get your stuff together, you’ll earn a reputation for being an innovative and original person. you may be quite artistic, creative and emotional, you’ll probably focus your life on self-expression. with the moon in this house, you are most likely going to be independent at work, you'll most likely have your own business. you could possibly work online as well, you could earn money through the internet, or perhaps your job may require you to physically move: you could be a dancer, an actor/actress, you could pursue a career that involves a certain sport, etc. you will get to express your emotions through your job, or perhaps you'll get to help other people with their feelings. you would make a great therapist, nurse, counselor, etc.

your 11th house is in pisces. you probably had problems with your friendships in your early years. you could have been too shy to approach people, hence you struggled to befriend them. or maybe, you used to gossip around, and that led you to lose them. or perhaps, you’re too work-oriented to find some spare time to hang out with others, and hence you end up losing your bond with them. in the best case, you may have quite spiritual / religious friends, or perhaps they’re your soulmates, they were a part of your past life. you have this habit of idealizing them a bit; that is, you may be too picky in choosing your friends. you’re probably looking for the type of friend that’d literally throw themselves under a car to save you, but it’s hard to actually find someone like that. open up more and accept others as they are. you don’t necessarily need to be with them for a long time, but make sure to learn your lessons from them.

lastly, your 12th house is in the sign of taurus, with also saturn and jupiter placed there. you may feel attracted to spirituality, but you’re quite lazy to actually dive into it. I feel like at first you may be quite skeptical about your abilities, but as time goes by you become more open-minded and in tune with your higher self. once you understand your true power, you'll become very spiritual and intuitive. you'll have lots of meaningful dreams, possibly prophetic dreams that could warn you about the future. you may be able to perceive and talk to higher entities such as spirits, and you could become a master at manifestation. with a positive attitude, you'll be able to attract everything you want in your life, especially finances and love thanks to taurus in the cusp of the 12th house.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love you attract sagittarius, virgo, scorpio and aquarius placements. your future spouse may also have prominent sagittarius placements; you need someone who’s charming, respectful, interesting and polite, but that can also stand up for themselves with no hesitation. you’re also into the magnetic, sexy type. you’re looking for someone independent, but that wouldn’t mind dedicating their time to you. you may feel unlucky in love, as your sagittarius descendant makes you attract people that are usually unavailable, whether it’s physically (they’re abroad) or emotionally. you may marry someone of a different culture/country/religion from yours. you may also meet and marry abroad or during a vacation. they could also be someone very well known in their career field, or perhaps they may even be famous. you could also meet them in a place where people usually relax, such as a bar or at the restaurant, and it will most likely be love at first sight. your children will most probably have very prominent mercurian energy, hence virgo or gemini; they’ll love to learn new things, they'll be very witty and ask multiple questions, as they will be very intelligent. yet, they could be a bit too talkative, and could have a tendency to gossip.

👶🏻 family life

your mother is probably very hard-working, and she has a strong role in your family. she loves being spoiled and appreciated, together with receiving attention. yet, she could sometimes be quite superficial because of that, but deep down she’s very romantic and mannered. she may have leo placements, or maybe aquarius, cancer, scorpio or capricorn. your father is a bit more unpredictable, he could be moody and therefore you may argue with him more often, and he might be an aquarius or have any type of fire/water placement in his chart. yet, he also has a very sweet and outgoing side to him that he may struggle to let out. if you have siblings, they’re probably leos/fire signs. you have a very pleasant relationship with them, you're all very playful and generous and you used to always stand up for each other, even though there could have been a bit of competition.

📊 career

as I’ve already mentioned above, you most likely have great communication skills and writing abilities. you’re very logical and precise, you’d definitely do well in a field that requires calm and organization. I can also picture you being an amazing teacher or even professor. based on your other placements, you could also do well at literally any creative career! you may be a dancer, a singer, or even something more complex like a creative director. otherwise, you could also be successful as a designer of any kind, an architect, a scientist… something that allows you to be mostly independent, but that can still guarantee you mental stimulation and a decent income, and that also allows you to use your creative venusian energy. I also see you working in the medical field, especially as a therapist, a psychologist, a nurse... anything that allows you to help other people's mental health. your future career could also include spirituality, such as yoga, astrology... you may be a medium, a tarot reader, a fortune teller, etc.

👕 fashion sense, style analysis

keyword for your wardrobe: black. every leo venus loves black, it's probably my favorite love story. after all, it's such a versatile color! it can be both badass and classy, how can I blame you. you may also have a thing for anything that looks luxury and high quality; you probably enjoy wearing designer brands, especially in your belts and bags. you may also like wearing fitted clothes, even just simple skinny jeans or tight tops. aside from black, you could as well use white and bold colours like gold, hot pink etc. also, you may as well be into pastel colors, and you could like following fashion trends.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past life, you were very career-oriented. you were probably extremely successful at work, it was your priority. you could have even been someone important for your career, who knows. yet, this lifetime you don't need to focus on work anymore, you're already a master at it. now, you need to solve your issues with your family and create a family of your own to fully accomplish your life purpose. there may be some ups and downs, but this is what your soul has to learn in this lifetime.

🤔 major transits analysis / august 18

jupiter is current in aquarius, meaning that it's transiting your 10th house conjunct your pisces moon. this is an extremely positive time for you! in fact, having the planet of abundance and luck conjunct the planet of energy means that you're motivated to work hard and achieve your goals! it's the best time to start a diet, a workout routine, study, dive into a new hobby... your vibration is much higher these days, therefore it's the best time for you to manifest.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

you’re very in contact with your spirituality, making you more sensitive to higher affirmations. you have the ability to visualize what you want. that’s the key to activate the loa: travel with your fantasy, and visualize what you desire. do you want a new car? imagine yourself doing road-trips on that car. a new phone? visualize yourself making calls with that phone. you can even literally create a story involving those topics and it will come true. you can also help yourself by writing and listening to your own affirmations, maybe covered up by some music. in this way, you'll develop a more optimistic mindset and you'll be able to attract more positivity in your life. you just have to believe in your power!

and this is it! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)

-libramc xx

#astrology

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lesbianrobin · 3 years

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If you had to rank all the 14 ST characters in the main group from most to least fav what would your ranking look like? (And by main group i mean the characters including murray and erica, and excluding karen, basically everybody involved in the final battle in 3x08)

ok let me preface this by saying that i literally love all of these characters i don't hate any of them okay?? let's go... ascending order for the drama!!

14. murray. no explanation needed. no offense to brett gelman he's phenomenal and i honestly think murray is really funny, but he's more or less just a plot device with some comic relief slapped on top.

now things get spicy <3

13. erica. love her to death! but she's fairly one-dimensional, once again primarily a comic relief character. maybe in s4 she'll get some more depth like the older kids have, but for now she's sort of a default next-to-last :/

12. will... no tea no shade but the kid's barely in the show! i absolutely want good things for him but like. i barely even know him. yknow? he’s only above erica bc he’s gay and she’s a capitalist. also that scene in s1 right before he gets snatched by the demogorgon when he just runs straight to the shed and grabs a goddamn shotgun and loads it fully ready to defend himself... that shit slapped good for him!!

11. this Will be controversial among some and i Know this character is many people's favorite... if you follow me already this is probably not going to surprise you but. nancy. i just think her character is kind of inconsistent, so i have a hard time really clicking with her :/ sometimes i love her and i think she's so cool and funny and hot (that hospital scene in s3... my GOD what a badass!) and other times i would like to fistfight her.

also let me get this out of the way right now: i'm aware that jonathan's character is ALSO super inconsistent!! i know okay??? i know!!!! please nobody judge me for how high rat boy gets on this ranking okay i'm literally making this up as i go along so idk if he's next or if he's like in the top five but i have a disease called Unreasonably Invested In Wildly Speculative Meta-Analysis Of Stranger Things which makes it impossible for me to be normal about jonathan and this is my ranking so i pick the bad taste!!!

10. joyce! i love her bro she's MOM and she tries so fucking hard all the goddamn time and she's so STRONG and kind and adorable... joyce is honestly a very unique and refreshing character ESPECIALLY if you’re considering stranger things within the horror genre which is often defined by these very specific archetypes of mothers and motherhood that i can get into if anyone is interested but like basically. love her <3

9. dustin <3 what an icon... i love him i love how he straight up killed a man and hardly flinched because it was to protect his friends and i love how he and his little girlfriend have a song they sing together and i love how he either has an insanely warped perspective on things due to low self-esteem or he just sometimes flatout lies to gain sympathy either way he’s a BABY and he’s so FUNNY and KIND and even when he’s scared he keeps going... ugh god and i love how even when he doubts his friends’ devotion to him he NEVER ever questions his devotion to them and he never ever considers leaving them behind or not stepping up to help them... he’s so brave!

8. mike is such a fucking BITCH but even more than that he is an ANGEL... literally his range who is doing it like him??? nobody!!!! graffiti’d the bathroom stall at school... hates cops.... what a legend. also i like how fucking goofy and dumb his hair looks in s3. also he’s very soft with his friends and it makes me cry. ALSO he literally stepped off a fucking CLIFF he was ready to DIE FOR DUSTIN and i know all the kids have risked their lives for each other but this wasn’t even a monster yknow this was just... bullies.... threatening his friend..... and mike couldn’t fucking let it happen bro he was ready to just step off the edge to keep dustin safe and it’s SO MUCH... and god the kindness he showed el when they first met!!! he’s a total angel and a total shithead and it’s amazing.

7. lucas my tiny baby hero.... he’s so strong and cool and capable yet at the same time he’s such a COMPLETE dork!!! he very seriously believes his slingshot wrist rocket is a lethal weapon and then he ACTUALLY USES IT AS A LETHAL WEAPON TO SAVE HIMSELF AND HIS FRIENDS!!! he hacks off a giant monster’s freaky tentacle arm thing with an axe to save his friend AND he keeps a bunch of action figures and random dice on his bedside table bro he just thinks they’re neat!!! like... i genuinely love him so much god he cares so much about his friends and he’s so brave and smart and loving... i know he is not tiny anymore but he is my tiny baby hero okay...

6. hopper! big man care for little girl... protect and love kids... dance to dad music... be goofy and hot... have trauma.... admit his faults and attempt to grow from them.... what's not to love?

5. jonathan... look i can’t explain it except that he loves his goddamn baby brother so much and i’m a sucker with extensive headcanons alright!

4. el!!! feral little darling girl!!! i literally cannot articulate the love that floods my heart whenever i see her face or think about her for too long she’s just... so strong but more than that she’s so incredibly KIND!! when she has every reason to be selfish and cruel and yeah at times she does let herself get a little mean but on the whole she’s always so goddamn kind and loving and selfless no matter how afraid she is or how she’s hurting... and i hope that with her powers gone in s4 she’ll maybe learn how to see herself as more than a tool to protect those she loves yknow but that’s off topic skdncmn i just think that el is such an incredible character with such depth!! she can be so grave and mature yet she’s still such an innocent child at the same time, and i think that both the writing and mbb’s acting are handled such that both of these things WORK and feel real and they make el (and her trauma) so believable. i just love her to death.

3. robin, light of my lesbian little life!! unfortunately she's wayyy too much like me to snag the top spot lmao. maybe once we get another season with her she’ll trample the competition but for now my baby is in a solid third place <3 i’ve never seen a lesbian on screen who i felt so accurately represented me and my experiences!! she feels so real and in just one season she’s become one of my favorites on the whole show, and i cannot fucking wait to see what else we learn about her and what development we see from her in s4.

2. as u may have guessed... max!! i know i said this was my subjective opinion but here i’ll just say it: max is objectively one of the best characters on the show. she’s so strong and funny and quick on her feet while harboring some real pain and insecurity at the same time, and both of these aspects of her character are married perfectly, logically connecting to one another and joining with sadie’s incredible acting to create an amazing character who feels just... so real!! i absolutely adore her and i CONSTANTLY tear up just from thinking about her skdncmn...

1. what if my number one wasn't steve. like can y'all imagine???? if i just said like will or some shit???? genuinely i did consider giving max or robin top billing here but i just Can't i've dedicated too goddamn much of my life to steve harrington to deny that he's my one and only. is there anything to say that hasn't already been said? look at the bitch. just look at him.

what other answer could there be?

#asks #em talks #long post #stranger things

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lizacstuff · 3 years

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I'm sure others will ask this but what are you thoughts on the episode of SCK?? I love your in-depth analysis lol. I personally loved it!!! Also can I just say that the edser/hanker chemistry is off the charts lol. If this was the first episode I watched ever, without subtitles, their scenes would be a giant neon sign that says "THESE CHARACTERS ARE MADLY IN LOVE!!!". Eda was beyond cute/in love/adorable in this episode with serkan, girl has got it bad and I wish she didn't have her stupid grandmother and these insecurities in the way ahhh. I really love the Ayfer/Aydan duo, they're fun when they're together and Ayfer wasn't annoying like the last few EPs. Also, Balca can go choke lol, I'm so glad Serkan didn't fall for her trap for him to stay over!! He was like nah come to the party (my girl is waiting!!!). Was serkan about to tell Eda that he had to stop by her house? He seemed really nervous. ANYWAYS, I love EdSer and am going to go watch their scenes 1000x before next week 😭🥰

Thank you! I love Edser too!!!! Like you, I enjoyed this episode, though it was despite some of the narrative issues (that I posted about here.) There were good, meaty Edser scenes, which is why I watch this show. Once again I'll start with the non-Eda/Serkan thoughts and then get to the feelsy stuff at the end.

Babaanne's introduction did not disappoint. The actress has the right energy for the role. I guess we now know why Eda has been adamant about cutting her out of her life, Babaanne is next level controlling and vindictive. We'll have to see how she develops and what her endgame motives are. Does she want her revenge more than she wants her granddaughter and daughter in her life? Or does she think if she wins and arranges everything including an advantageous marriage for Eda, Eda will eventually go along and decide it's awesome and reconciliation will come about that way? *evil laugh* She doesn’t know her granddaughter at all if she thinks that’s a possibility.

(more under the cut)

I enjoyed her non-Balca scenes, especially when she was going toe-to-toe with Eda. That scene in Serkan's old upstairs office was intense, both actresses really brought it and kudos to Eda staying true to her defiant character. No one pushes her around. Prepare yourselves to see her waver a bit, I'm sure it's quite jarring to see your loved one in jail and know that he's there because of you, but she'll get to the point of fighting beside him. I have no doubt.

It was nice to see Ayfer protecting Aydan and Seyfi, it made for some great comedy and it was a good change after all of Ayfer's annoying, unrelenting negativity in general and about the Bolats. We'll see what happens between the two now that they appear to be vying for Chef Alexander's attention. Nesilhan just cracks me up when she's portraying Aydan play acting, the stilted voice she takes on is always hilarious to me, like when Ayfer was introducing "Aisun" to Serkan. As we move forward, though, I want to see some badass Aydan. She was introduced to us as a force of nature, so I hope we see that woman, a woman who will go to the mat for her son and Eda, emerge at some point. No hiding from Babaanne long term. Everyone needs to gear up to fight!

Peril and Engin got married! Their scene at home was really well done and gave me a bit better insight into them and why they might work. The only thing I was disappointed about here was that Serkan was not their witness. He counts them as some of his only friends and they didn't call him? Come on, show! They could have easily structured the ep to have him get the call while there was chaos at his loft that morning and it would have been the perfect excuse for him to grab Eda and head to the wedding leaving the moms and Babaane to Chef Alexander. It wouldn't have changed anything about the episode because Eda still could have gone to do her thing after the wedding and everything else would have been the same, except it all would have had a bit more heart. Missed opportunity there.

I've decided that Ferit is a catch. At the beginning of the show he was just so naïve, that he seemed foolish, but he's really turned into a sweet, upstanding man. You hold on to him, Ceren. The irony in his relationship with Serkan is just outstanding to me, because ALL of this started because Serkan was willing to upend his own life (and Selin, Ferit and Eda's) will the sole goal of keeping Ferit out of his business, and now here we are 24 episodes later, Selin is long gone, Eda is the love of his life, and Ferit has turned into a solid, trust-worthy business partner and friend who is putting Babaanne in her place on the first day. Love to see it.

Balca, that snake just gets more unhinged as we go along. Good GAWD. WTF is wrong with her? Her eventual comeuppance better be big. I'm really to the point that I can't enjoy any scene that she's in, it's just too maddening, because neither Serkan nor Eda are taking her seriously enough. Which I realize they don't know what we know, but dang I hope Serkan is finally connecting the dots because her behavior is not normal. As Eda says, who gives a gift like that to their boss? Who calls their new boss instead of the police when there's an intruder in the house? By now he should be able to figure out she's manipulating him.

Also how was she not daunted when she called and Eda was there? What did she think would happen when he came to get the gift when he had Eda to get home to? On top of everything else she's shameless and delusional. As for the gift, that was creepy AF. Did she seriously think that her boss, who she's known a week, would be romanced by that? Or any man for that matter? Did Selin give her the impression he was so arrogant that this would be the perfect thing for him? As much as I want less of her on screen, I would like to know the thought process behind that embarrassing monstrosity. Because it was not a savvy move. But the good news is that no one was more creeped out by it than Serkan Bolat. It seemed to really unsettle him, which it should. It was nice to see Eda getting over her jealousy, perhaps that came with her decision to try and move forward. Before she was in this state of flux, deep-down wanting Serkan to be hers, but not being able to admit that and feeling an outside threat during that confusion.

I saw some criticism of Eda because she was openly mocking and dismissive of Balca. However, while I agree her behavior was a tad immature at times... Balca was totally asking for it. She's been at the company for mere days and her weird, manipulative, obsessive behavior is totally inappropriate. Also if she didn't take a hint from Eda opening mocking her, Eda picking out her gift from Serkan, Serkan deferring queries about his NYE plans to Eda, Eda being at his house when Balca called, I think we can safely say that Balca in unaffected by any of Eda's behavior, thus Eda isn't hurting anyone. While Balca is over here, claws out, trying to start a war. Balca is the villain here, not Eda for recognizing and making fun of it.

Despite the emotional inconsistencies between Eda and Serkan in this episode, during one scene they were hot, the next, one or the other was cold without rhyme or reason, there were many great conversations. I really enjoyed their conference room scenes in particular. Serkan confident and calming her down, Eda being enraged by Babaanne, but listening to him and letting him calm her down.

His little Eda Bolat coffee cup gag was priceless, he did succeed in both diverting her and flirting with her in one suave move. Also a nice bit of foreshadowing there, which there was a lot of this episode. Not just this and the bouquet catch, but also every single one of their domestic scenes.

As I said in this post, the rewrite, or whatever happened this episode, did cause some pretty big emotional inconsistencies from scene to scene. I know most people loved the scenes when Eda went to find Serkan, but it was a little whiplashy for me. We go from Serkan being calm and collected and happily flirting with her about being Eda Bolat at the office, to a short time later him being moody and standoffish with her at his house? It's understandable that he would be upset at her suggestion that she leave the company, but I would think the man that broke her heart for her own good, would understand why she might think of leaving in order to get rid of someone who is threatening him!

It just felt like a weird time for him to hit his threshold with her, especially since this was when they were supposed to be heading to Paris (huge writing fail that there was no "Oh I guess we have to postpone Paris" throwaway line). However, perhaps that was accelerated for him in the face of a real threat? Like if it was just another day he's fine with her waffling and their little contract game, but he feels in his bones that this is go time and he needs to find out if she's ready for what's coming? (Look at me finding reasons for the inconsistencies as I answer this ask, lmao).

Then the shaving scene was interesting. She starts by saying "Leaving was a dumb idea, I'm still here, I'll be by your side," which YAY and seems to me to be a huge step forward for her.... but then he doesn't feel it. Why exactly, didn't he feel it? So then she transitions to the biggest head scratcher of the episode for me, and I really hope it's a translation fail. She basically references the movie they saw and says, "If I could erase all memories of you, I would." Um... what? Is she really saying to him she wishes they never met? I sure hope there was some modifier in there, like "bad" memories only or something. It seemed way harsh and inconsistent with their feelings for one another. However, once he starts talking about being a machine before meeting her and his heart being too heavy without her, the dialogue is pretty great. He really bares his soul and she reciprocates with intimacy. The second half of this scene is absolutely lovely.

The visit to Aydan's house was interesting. At some point I'm gonna need Aydan and especially Ayfer to step up when it comes to Babaanne. Ayfer ran scared the whole episode and it's just not fair of her to leave the burden on Eda. Hopefully, she'll get there. There was a reason Babaanne told Eda not to tell Ayfer about the threats, and threatened harm to Serkan and family if she did so. I'm guessing Ayfer may be better equipped to deal with her mother than was suggested in this episode. The conversation about Eda running from her grandmother as a child and losing the bracelet was very affecting and well done, and thankfully Serkan was out of his sulky mood and in full-on supportive boyfriend mode. Phew, good to have you back, Serkan.

That throne Babaanne brought in was something else. Worth a good laugh. However, I feel like it highlights a few cracks we've already started to see in Babaanne's scary façade. First, there's the one I just talked about, with Babaanne not wanting Ayfer to know what she's up to, so we now know who might be successful in opposing her or might know things that could shut her down.. her daughter. Then this ridiculous throne move had to be her way of unsettling everyone, but as we see that fails with Serkan. He's pretty unflappable when it comes to her nonsense antics.

Then Babaanne singles out Balca as her ally, which on one hand, it was astute of her to figure out who was the outsider, ripe for the picking, but she straight up choose the wack job, who let's face it, is not going to be all that competent of a foot soldier for her, because she has no allies and she's not in anyone's confidence. Plus she made that critical error with the present being so off-putting to Serkan. Balca might be able to cause problems, but she can’t get Serkan to transfer his affection for Eda onto her, so her usefulness here is limited. Babanne needed to try and fool someone like Melo, Ferit or Leyla. Prey on the nice ones who might try to be accommodating just so everyone gets along.

Anyway, I loved the Edser scenes in the office, he brought her lemon water! My heart. And I loved the meeting with the inner circle. Serkan has a plan! Of course our boy does, he wouldn't be Serkan Bolat if he didn't. It's always fun to see how much they all trust him to lead them through these tough times. He will once again emerge victorious. It just may take some time on this one

Note Blaca wasn't invited to that meeting, someone already can sense she can't be trusted. In the meeting later with Babaanne, I loved how Eda was sitting next to Serkan at the head of the table, totally squared off against her grandmother. That blocking was not by accident. It showed them facing her. On the same side. Together. United. That's what we call foreshadowing and that's how they're ultimately going to defeat her. Together.

It's interesting to me that earlier in the day when Eda tells him maybe she should leave the company he gets upset, but when she shows up at his house and straight up says they can't be together, he's completely calm and is his normal confident self, talking her into staying the night with his usual ease. I'm thinking her manic rambling about him getting tired of her and her grandmother separating them was just too obvious of an emotional spiral after an exhausting day (that lasted 47 years and multiple wardrobe changes) so he didn't take any of it to heart.

As for the reason she needed a place to stay, WTF is Ayfer doing letting Babaanne stay in their home?? Kick her out for the love of God. I don't mind, since it gave us this fabulous sleepover, but come on woman, at one time you were strong enough to remove your niece from her which could not have been easy, where is your backbone now? Find it. Fast.

LOVED LOVED LOVED every second of domestic Edser. How cute are they? Serkan wheeling her dinosaur suitcase was so adorable. And how cute is it that he bought hot chocolate for her? And THEN, THEN when they went to look at the stars? My heart melted clean out of my chest when he said, "I'm already looking at the most beautiful star." Remember in 13 when he asked her, "How are you real?" and she basically told him to be careful or she'd get spoiled and expect that kind of romance all the time? Well apparently the romantic robot has an endless capacity to generate heart-stopping one-liners so she really needn't have worried.

Eda's phone call with the girls was another whiplash moment for me. So wait... all episode her trepidation has been around her grandmother interfering or Serkan getting tired of her, but now she's back to wondering if he can change? Ne? And she isn't articulating what she wants him to change, or talking to him about change at all, only asking her friends if they think it's possible?? The change thing made perfect sense to me in eps 20-22, because she was coming off of his lie that broke her heart, but now I can't figure out what she wants from him. I think this is another casualty of whatever writing changes happened in this episode. I really hope the writers pull it together and figure out what the character's headspace is and stick with it. It's one thing to yo-yo from episode to episode, but to yo-yo scene to scene is too much.

I know that they're trying to create suspense for whether she would meet him to ring in the New Year, and start fresh, but there are much more elegant ways to do this than constant retread conversations that don't make sense in context with the scenes that came before. Honestly, this episode had a LOT of wonderful scenes and humor and heartfelt moments, but it also felt like a franken-episode, like if different writers were assigned different scenes and then they assembled the episode without going back to smooth out the tone and emotions.

That leads us to Serkan discovering Eda in the bath. What do we think was going through his mind there? lmao. He looked exceptionally pleased and he did the jokey flirty thing, taking a mental picture, but then when she comes downstairs in her jammies, he has gone into stone-cold work robot mode. I suppose the best I can guess is that he knew she was confused, he knew he had convinced her to stay under the guise it would be platonic and the "last time."

He's always been a gentleman with her. So perhaps he felt compelled, for her sake, to keep it in that place, but seeing her in the bath send him into overdrive and the only thing he could do is throw himself into work to make sure the situation didn't go any further before she was fully ready? That's my best attempt at explaining it. Still she was flirting hardcore with him when she came downstairs, it feels like that was the moment he's been waiting for since episode 19, and he let it sail by. Ah well, at some point soon both their engines will be revving at the same time and we’ll finally get to the sexy times.

The next morning was 100% adorable. Serkan Bolat serving breakfast in bed. I swoon! What a sweetheart, because I'm pretty certain that Serkan does NOT like crumbs in his bed so this was a big gesture. And you could see how much she appreciated it, despite teasing him about the portion size. Eda, that breakfast would have been just fine by me, but if the girl has a big appetite, so be it.

Also, Edacim, it would be a lot easier to buy your "confusion" if you hadn't brought him a heartfelt gift that would have taken a good while, like weeks, to procure and then sketched in it for him!!!! She had to have been planning that for some time. Anyway, a very sweet gift and one of those moments where actions speak louder than words. We all want to hear Eda say the words "I Love You," but she just said it very loudly here in the form of this gift. Even if she wasn't fully aware she was saying it. It's obvious where her heart is, she just has to give herself permission to follow it.

This ep also brought the funny when half the cast of characters barged in on Edser’s little love nest. Good for both Eda and Serkan for refusing to be a part of the subterfuge for Babaanne. I'm hopeful we're going into a secret relationship/engagement storyline, but at this point I like that neither were cowing to her. Eda is an adult and it's nobody's business but her own where she stays the night!

It cracks me up that Eda and Serkan were discombobulated by the intrusion, had the silent #married conversation, and headed upstairs together. Mostly because they are the two in the dark, what are they going to figure out by going upstairs alone? What they really needed was to talk to any of the other people to find out what in the hell was happening. Not that I blame them for wanting to escape that scene together. However, what was beautiful was their connection in these scenes. They were functioning as partners, as each other's person, as the one each turns to when they need support (or escape). And that's really saying something since they were in a room full of the people they're both closest too.

Finally, I'm glad they spoiled the final scene in the fragman, because I would have been too stressed watching Balca's psychotic efforts in keeping Serkan away from the party, and Eda, if I hadn't known he would make it. As it was, it was too much to watch. They've done absolutely nothing to make her even a little sympathetic. I feel zero empathy for her, I don't understand why she's willing to take these risks. No man is worth it, girl! Especially not a man you just decided you wanted because of his initials! The character needs to serve her purpose and go. Soon.

As for Serkan making it in time, THANK GOODNESS. I don't think Eda could have handled being stood up again. Even taking her call was a mistake. That's why we have voicemail, Serkan. And clearly he should have called the police on his way. I sincerely hope that he finds out the break-in was a fake and that's what makes him realize what level of crazy he's dealing with. I assume, because he didn't know what else to do, he left Balca in his home and that's what he wanted to tell Eda right before the police arrived. I shudder to think what damage she might do there alone. Installing a hidden mic or camera for Babaanne? Going through his things? Planting more items. Ew. If that spec is right the place will need to be fumigated.

Serkan's gift was, of course, perfection. Talk about love in gift form, and did you notice that one of the charms was an "E" and one was an "S"? A sweet, heart-felt detail and a nice little nod to which initials really matter on this show. Interestingly, after a full episode of inner turmoil, once Serkan arrived, Eda seemed to be all-in. She was bubbly and happy to see him and definitely acting like he was her date. And then the hug! Finally! They've obviously been physically close in recent post-break up episodes, for example elevator, pottery, dancing, skating, but what a relief to finally have this pure, intentional display of affection from her to him. Also a cheek kiss! This show, I swear it makes me grateful for the most chaste of moments.

As I said in another ask, I think the, "Will you be my girlfriend?" was in Serkan's head. We didn't see him say it, she didn't respond and the audio was hollow like it was a thought or memory or dream. However, what I can't answer is why we heard that. Why put it in there? We know he wants them to get back together, so that line doesn't inform the audience of anything they don't already know. So maybe proposal foreshadowing? On the other hand, there is the line earlier in the episode that was voice over added after the fact (when Edser are in the small conf room and Serkan says he’s going home) so maybe they added the audio after the scene for some reason? I don’t know with this episode anything is possible.

Then, of course, Babaanne ruins their moment with her evil plan. Next episode will she be sitting on her throne stroking a hairless cat Because it feel like Babaanne may like a bit of evil aura to surround her. Anyway, next stop... jail! I'm honestly excited to see how the next ep plays out. We're going to go through some things, so prepare your soul, but I honestly think we may end the ep in a better place. (new cliffhanger notwithstanding) We shall see.

#Edser #sen cal kapimi #Sen Çal Kapımı #sckask #sck 1x24 #sck episode discussion #edser discussion #asklizac #Anonymous

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collectsfallenstars · 4 years

Text

Lee Gon’s 3 Rules and How and When He Fell In Love With Jeong TaeEul: An Analysis in 2 parts

Part 1: Love like You Row

It’s pretty easy to say that Lee Gon starts off in “The King: Eternal Monarch” already in love with Jeong TaeEul and he remains in that constant state all throughout the series. That his character is that flat, as flat as the world according to Jeong TaeEul. While it may be true that his character remains deeply devoted to her all throughout, I’m here to show you that he isn’t a flat character. Aside from the external struggle he has with his uncle Lee Lim, and convincing TaeEul of his identity and depth of feeling for her, loving TaeEul also forced him to confront certain things.

On their first chicken dinner together in episode 2 which felt more like an extension of his interrogation instead of a friendly dinner, Lee Gon finds out exactly what kind of person he’s dealing with with Jeong TaeEul. He had just thanked her for being the reason why he survived the last 25 years of his life after his father had been murdered. She was tied to that one great big mystery of his life and he had wanted to find her all these years. Now she was there, eating dinner with him. But she didn’t believe anything he said, almost canceling out his entire existence because she did not have enough proof.

We are then taken to a flashback of baby Lee Gon talking with Lady Noh about the night his father was murdered while a cute baby Maximus ran around in the background. Lady Noh hands over the two things Lee Gon had held onto that night – half of the broken bamboo flute and Jeong TaeEul’s ID. And then little Lee Gon asks,

“DO YOU THINK IT’S HERE, THE REASON WHY I SURVIVED THAT DAY?”

The flashback ends and we are brought back to the present time with Lee Gon asking TaeEul,

“WHY DO YOU NEVER BELIEVE ANYTHING I SAY?”

This was a very good juxtaposition of events. As a child, the question of why he survived had been foremost in his mind. That’s him questioning the purpose of his existence and he’s tied it to these two objects – the flute and TaeEul’s ID. One is a symbol of utter power, and the other, I suppose, is love, or his destiny.

And all his life he believed held on to the idea that his life had purpose, had meaning, and it was tied to this woman, before him, who sat there not believing anything at all. She tells him to stay put till she gets back his DNA test and he takes it out of context and asks her,

“ANYTHING ELSE? IS THERE ANY OTHER REASON? THE REASON WHY I HAVE TO STAY IN YOUR WORLD? COULD THERE BE A REASON?”

This is him grasping at straws, a little desperately. He’s basically asking her to tell him, give him his purpose. He’s waiting for her to say, “I want you to stay because of me.” To hand it over to him. But of course, TaeEul thought it was all bullshit.

In Lee Gon’s world, he’s the king. He has never needed his existence to be validated. And he has always been sure of who he was. But one thing he was never sure of was his why he survived that night, his purpose. So he tied his purpose to the flute and to TaeEul. He had probably hoped that he would find it if he could just find her.

And he did find her. But she doesn’t believe he exists. She doesn’t believe his Kingdom of Corea exists. And the only reason, she says, that she’s helping him is just so she can send him back home and get rid of him.

He realizes two things here. Just because he found Jeong TaeEul doesn’t mean he gets an instant answer as to what his purpose is for surviving that night. And just because he’s spent the last 25 years attached to the idea of TaeEul doesn’t mean that the moment she sees him, she’ll come running into his arms like a long lost love. There is no love. At least, just yet.

This must have been a lonely time for Lee Gon. After this scene, we are shown a clip of him visiting an exhibit of Korea’s last monarch. The building occupies the same place where he and his father were attacked in the Kingdom of Corea. But that history of the royal family doesn’t even include his line. He has no identity, no history, no purpose.

And in this world, if he wanted purpose, it wasn’t just going to be a simple find Jeong TaeEul and she’ll give you the answer. He’ll actually have to work for it, find it by solving the mystery of the bamboo flute and work on building a real connection with Jeong TaeEul.

He finds out exactly how to best do that on this dinner too. When Jeong TaeEul answers his question about why she wont’ believe him, she says,

“IS THAT HOW BELIEF WORKS? I’M THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO STILL CAN’T BELIEVE THE EARTH IS ROUND.”

It’s in this part when he realizes they don’t see the world in the same way. I like how he doesn’t force her to believe him just because he believes it, doesn’t guilt her into seeing things his way. You know how most people would go, this is how I see it. why cant you see it my way? Nope. He shuts up. He listens to her and understands that she needs to see things before she can believe them, and works with that instead of trying to change her mind.

He takes on 3 tasks. He must first convince her that he is telling the truth about his identity. He next has to convince her that parallel worlds exist. Once those two things are done, it will be easier for him to convince her that his feelings for her are real. He then formulates a plan the only way a mathematician and a rower would, tailor fitting it to meet Jeong TaeEul needs. I've written about this on a previous post, detailing how Jeaong TaeEul’s feelings for Lee Gon devloped exactly because of this method. If you’re interested, you can just scroll down my tumblr. It’s in there somewhere.

As I said, he looks at situations like a mathematical equation. If there’s a problem, there has to be a solution. A beautiful one. And his solutions are pretty simple. Patience and honesty. Every time she asks him anything about his identity and where he’s from, he will tell always tell the truth. No matter how many times she asks the same question, he will always give her the same answer. This is why rowing is such a perfect sport for him. He makes repetitive motions, moving in a single direction and onwards until the finish line. That’s exactly how he was with Jeong TaeEul. Keep telling the truth until she believes. But he won’t try to force her to believe him before she’s ready and endures it every time she insults him or accuse of fictionalizing everything.

If you look at episode 3, on what’s probably their 2nd chicken and beer dinner, he tells her,

“YOU GOT NOTHING ON MY DNA RESULTS. BUT YOU STILL CAN’T REALLY BELIEVE ME, RIGHT? SO WHO DO YOU THINK I AM? THERE IS NO INFORMATION AT ALL ABOUT ME IN THIS WORLD.”

He leans forward on the table again, making the gap between them slightly smaller. Notice that he doesn’t make the conclusion for her. He just asks her the questions. He lets her make the conclusion on her own; and gives her time until she’s ready to actually say it out loud that she believes him, which won’t be until the 5th episode.

Having gotten no results for his DNA and fingerprints should point TaeEul towards the existence of another world where he does exist. But keep in mind that TaeEul needs to see something before she believes it. And no results mean no evidence. No evidence means, it’s all bullcrap form TaeEul. So when he tells her,

“I HOPE YOUR EARTH CAN BECOME ROUND SOON.”

He is saying “I know you can’t see it, but I hope you believe that my parallel world exists, and that I exist for you.” Just like the world being round. He’s essentially preparing her for what’s to come next. And it has nothing to do with seeing his world and him being king because those are things she will be able to see for herself. He’s preparing her for one of the greatest leaps of faith of all time – believing in love. It is, after all, an intangible concept. You can’t see it, you can only feel it to know it exists.

Now, when the time finally came that TaeEul got all the evidence that she needed and was finally prepared to believe him, he was still very patient with her as he answered all of her questions about her ID card that was issued exactly when he said it would be.

He goes to her, gathers her hair together in ponytail in one hand, and holds on to the side of her neck with the other, while he answered all her questions correctly, getting rid of her last excuses for not believing him. He is literally and figuratively holding her steady, as her world kind of fell apart knowing that she had been wrong all this time. He didn’t jump with glee or anything because he was right and she was wrong. He understood how this must have been terrifying for her and he kind of just was there for her to help her keep it together. Then he offers her his other world, letting her decide if she wants to see it for herself.

“DO YOU WANT TO SEE FOR YOURSELF? COME WITH ME TO MY WORLD.”

He holds her hand, pulls her to Maximus, puts both her hands on his shoulders and he puts this woman who had never watched fairy tales on a white horse fit for a prince and princess. I swear, when snow started falling in this scene, Maximus turned into unicorn for me. It was that magical.

Physically, you can see him become more protective of her in this instant. He closes his hand over hers. Puts her hands on his shoulders as if to tell her you can depend on me, you can trust me. He cages TaeEul between his arms as they ride off. And even when they get to Corea, he still has her inside his arms in a protective circle, asks the guards to step back because he knows exactly how flat earther Jung TaeEul will feel in a parallel world.

He already knows she’s a strong capable woman. But he didn’t hesitate to provide comfort and protection because he understood that even the strongest ones may need comfort and protection at times.

He does gloat here, a little.

“SEE? I WAS RIGHT, WASN’T I?”

Still on his horse, he leans closer to her, almost speaking right into her ear. His lips quite possibly less than two inches away from her earlobe. I mean…if I was Kim Goeun I’d be shivering with want. But of course, she’s very busy taking in the fact that a parallel world exists so maybe her libido is in the backburner for now. But when she turns her head to face him, and it was , quite possibly, the sweetest, most electrifying non kiss kiss ever.

Now at this point, he seems to have ticked off all his tasks. Convinced her he’s a king. Convinced her that a parallel world exist. Now the next thing to do is to convince her that his feelings, 25 years in the making, are real.

Part 2: Love of a Monarch with a Scar

But how real are his feelings? Because the Jeong TaeEul he’s now with is very different from whatever he imagined Jeong TaeEul to be when he was 8 years old! That’s actually the first thing he had to confront the moment he met TaeEul at Gwanghwamun Square. After they bicker and he insults her intelligence by asking,

“IT SEEMS YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT A PARALLEL WORLD IS. DID YOU NOT STUDY SCIENCE?”

He finally observes something about her. He says,

“IS THIS WHAT YOUR PERSONALITY IS LIKE? I HAVE NEVER IMAGINED IT. I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE SOFTER. THIS IS NEW.”

And this signals to the audience that he is aware that the Jeong TaeEul he had imagined and possibly loved for the last 25 years is different from the real Jeong TaeEul. He might have arrived at the scene loving only the idea of TaeEul but as soon as the 2nd episode, he takes it upon himself to actually educate himself on all things Jeong TaeEul, setting aside all of his built up notions about her.

In the precinct, even in the midst of his interrogation, he takes the time to really look at her and come to a decision that she “LOOKED BETTER IN REAL LIFE.” So that’s great right, he prefers the 3 dimensional version of her as opposed to a picture. And then when TaeEul finally released him from jail, he reveals that he has already pumped Eunsup for information about her life. He is making sure that he gets to know her right from the get go. It was also on the 2nd episode that he went to the library to get to know her world’s history. He looked up the poet Kim SoWol and bought his book before going back to his world, just because TaeEul randomly quoted him during their conversation in the bamboo forest in episode 3.

Now he didn’t completely let go of his imagined version of a TaeEul because he did manage to get a short glimpse of a softer TaeEul during their early days together. Time had to stop before he could see this softer side of hers because at this point, she still didn’t believe anything he said and was less likely to trust him enough to show him her softer side. So when time stopped, that was the first time he got to see the TaeEul he had imagined all this time. It was just there, buried underneath the hard, flat-earther exterior. He just had to wait til the 9th episode to finally see this softer, sweeter side of hers.

He also asks her important questions like, “Why did you become a detective?” which is essential when you’re trying to get to know someone. You ask them about their dreams to get an idea about the kind of person they are. Now, when TaeEeul answers,

“NOT EVERYONE IN THE WORLD CAN BE BRAVE. SO I DECIDED TO BECOME BRAVE.”

it absolutely fascinated him. For someone who’s had his life set for him the moment he was born, the fact that someone can make a choice about which direction to take their lives must have amazed him. He admires this trait, that she can make a decision to be a cop just like that.

Notice also that she didn’t say, “I am brave so I joined the police force.” She said, I DECIDED TO BECOME BRAVE.” If you look at Lee Gon, the kind of decisions he tends to make are what to do. Do I leave for my home? Do I stay a little bit more? Do I give her my name? But the one thing TaeEul shows him is that he can make decisions on what kind of person he wants to be, just as she did. So as he’s getting to know her, learning her, he’s also learning from her.

Why is this important? Because his identity is tied to him being a King. There’s a flashback of his time with his father on episode 4 where the father talks about the duties of a king. He asks,

“DO YOU THINK YOU CAN FULFILL THIS CALLING, GON?”

So it’s all about performing a duty that is attached to the title of King. CAN YOU DO IT? It is never about what kind of King do you want to be? Which makes this part very important.

After she talks about her own dreams and what she wanted for herself, she asks him,

“SO THAT’S MY STORY. TELL ME WHAT KIND OF KING YOU ARE. A YOUNG, HANDSOME, AND RICH KING?”

This question appears to pleasure him, as much as bother him. He answers,

“A ROWER, MATHEMATICIAN, A WELL-GROWN ORPHAN, AND THE OWNER OF THE FOUR TIGER SWORD. A KING WHO HAS NEVER BEEN ASKED SUCH A QUESTION AND TRYING HIS BEST NOT TO PANIC.”

This is her asking him, “How have you been doing as a king so far?” How are you? A question on his well being as a king. Like whenever he returns to her from his world, he always asks how she has been and if she’s been well. It appears to have the same effect on him. It pleases him to know that she wants to know he has been doing.

But then, he also has no idea how to answer her question. And this makes him panic.

Since no one ever bothered to ask him what kind of person, what kind of King did he want to be, he never thought about it. He just simply accepted that he was a king and had to fulfill the duties that came with it. It probably never occurred to him that he can decide what kind of king he wanted to be. It wasn’t just a job, which I suspect is how he sees it. That’s why he likes escaping from time to time when it becomes too much. But here was Jeong TaeEul, teaching him how to be a better King because being a cop is so much more than just a job for TaeEul. Lee Gon is slowly becoming a better King, just by talking to TaeEul. Imagine how much more glorious he would become once he gives himself fully to her, and she reciprocates that love?

Ironically though, this love that taught him how to choose to brave is the same love that he has to give up when he finally chooses to be a brave King and save both worlds. But, we still have one more episode so that’s still up in the air.

Now, let’s go back to simpler times when their only problem was themselves and their own trust issues. So as I said, he makes great effort to really get to know her and once he was able to tell apart the Jeong TaeEul in his imagination and the Jeong TaeEul in reality, he lets her know that he much prefers the real version of TaeEul. At the end of episode two, he tells her,

“YOU’RE ALWAYS BUSY AND YOU DON’T CARE MUCH FOR ME. BECAUSE OF YOU, I’M POWERLESS HERE. BUT IT’S FINE. YOU ARE MUCH MORE AMAZING THAN I HAD IMAGINED.

This moment was especially pitiful because he said this after revealing to her that he felt hurt that she kept leaving him when she’s the only person he knows in this world. But even through his hurt feelings, he is able to understand why she does this. He understands that she’s busy, that she has a life, and that to her, he was simply just a stranger. So if we jump to episode 8, when TaeEul asks him if he would have fallen for her if she had been rude and decided not to help him, Lee Gon really wasn’t lying when he said,

“I WOULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD AND THAT UNDERSTANDING WOULD HAVE LED ME TO FALL FOR YOU.”

Because he was already doing it as early as the 2nd episode. She had just upset him and there he was, understanding why and still finding her amazing despite it all. He tells her this in what seems like a love confession, at first, but it really isn’t. When he compares her to the number Zero, he’s essentially saying that she alone can make him weak but at the same time, has the power to give him strength. And that whenever he felt trapped, she was the only one had the power to save him – like that night of treason. He was seeing firsthand the effect she has on him. And he sees that

she already has this much power and influence over him even without an established relationship. That’s how much power he has handed to her by the simple fact that he has hung on to her existence for the last 25 years.

This was not a confession of love but somehow, it feels heavier than that. I appreciate how he didn’t rush to say the words I love you to her at this moment, but instead chose to show her what she meant to him.

I feel like saying I love is sometimes a cop out, you know. I’m just gonna lump all these feelings for you together and call it love. But Lee Gon does not do that. He constantly reveals to her how she affects him. He is constant in allowing himself to be vulnerable and honest with how he feels for her.

“YOU LOOK BETTER IN REAL LIFE” is attraction.

“WHY ARE YOU TYING YOUR HAIR? DON’T TIE YOUR HAIR,” is a marked preference for the TaeEul in real life because the TaeEul in his imagination has her hair gathered in a low ponytail.

“DON’T GO. IT TOOK 25 YEARS FOR ME TO MEET YOU. I HOPE TODAY WILL BE A LONG DAY,” is him begging, or bargaining for more time with her after having pined after her for so long. And he doesn’t hide the fact that he has pined for her for a long time.

“THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING. BECAUSE YOU EXISTED SOMEWHERE, I WAS LESS LONELY FOR THE PAST 25 YEARS,” is deep gratitude. Just the thought of her somewhere brought him comfort in his lonely life and that’s a powerful thing. Most people depend on an actual presence of a person for them to be significant enough in their life. But for Lee Gon, just the idea of her had been enough.

“THAT’S COOL, LT. JUNG TAE EUL,” is open admiration for her character and spirit.

But I think what really drove it home for me, and also my favorite declaration of devotion, is when he said, “I IMAGINED BRINGING YOU HERE LOTS OF TIMES BEFORE” when she asked him why he looked so calm after bringing her into the palace and the entire staff erupted in disarray. It is a very simple line, but so naked in its honesty. And Lee MinHo delivers it with the glee of a child who opens his gift on Christmas morning, gets exactly what he wants, and proceeds to tell his parents thank you because he’s dreamed of it all year long and now it’s his. Except for Lee Gon, he’s dreamed of it for 25 years already. Just the weight of that longing is flabbergasting. Can you imagine anyone loving you this much?

However, for all of Lee Gon’s openness about how he feels for TaeEul, I don’t think he ever fully allowed her into his world until the 6th episode. And this is because of the 3 rules he has always abided by when it comes to himself and all three are rooted in his trauma from that night of treason in 1994.

He doesn’t eat food that hasn’t been tasted beforehand.

No one touches his body.

No one can call him by his name.

Now the first two are broken as early as the 1st and 2n d episode. TaeEul cuffs him at Gwanghwamun Square and once more back in the precinct. Then on the 3rd episode, she tapped Lee Gon on the shoulder on her way to the restroom. By this time, he’s not even protesting when she touches him, he even welcomes it now. And this is growth for him, considering the last time someone touched him in such close proximity, he almost died. And on their first dinner together, he actually surrenders that rule willingly, using that point to tell her what the idea of her has done to comfort him for the last 25 years.

But his last rule, the one rule he clung steadfastly to, was the one that did not allow anyone to call him by his name. He consistently refused to give her his name in the first 4 episodes, and even when he finally did give it to her at the start of the 5th episode, he still stuck to the rule. He gave her his name, but she is still not allowed to use it.

Now, on episodes 5 and 6, we see him on uber boyfriend mode. He’s like a kid who finally got a puppy. Here, let me take care of you. Here let me feed you. Here let me give you alcohol. Here let me kiss you. Here let me pick you up when you’re stranded. Let me play with your hand and show everyone how I feel about you. Let me pat your head to comfort you when you’re lonely.

He’s basically a giver. Let me love you. But the danger in being with someone like this is that they control what part of them you’re getting, because they pick and choose, very frequently, so you never feel like you’re lacking for any affection. But you’ll never know the full extent of what they’re giving and holding back because they won’t let you in. And he hasn’t. At least, not completely.

TaeEul had to find out the whole deal with Lee Lim and the night of treason by google searching Lee Gon and his family. When he tells her,

“I GUESS YOU NOW KNOW WHAT ROOT YOU ARE STANDING IN FRONT OF. IT’S MY HELL AND MY HISTORY THAT WAS ENGRAVED ON MY BODY BY THE GREED OF THE PERSON THAT KILLED MY FATHER AND STRANGLED ME.”

he simply confirms what she found out. But he didn’t offer the story himself. No matter how vulnerable he is with everything else, this source of his trauma is still something he struggles with. And the way that he clings to the rule that his name must never be called by anyone is a manifestation of this.

Names are deeply personal and the people who are close enough to him to say it out loud are both dead. So since he was 8, his name has never been called. He has always existed as Pyeha to everyone and this safe distance has guaranteed him safety. No one will ever get close enough to try and murder him like his uncle did. But this also afforded him great loneliness. Because Pyeha is only a title but being King has swallowed up his entire existence. That’s why he panicked when TaeEul asked him what kind of King he was. That’s why the idea of his purpose for surviving that night still evades him. Because if he doesn’t know who he is beyond the title of Pyeha, or King, it’s going to be hard to find out his purpose too.

And his name is his last barrier against TaeEul. He’s given her everything, except for the right to call him by his name. But she doesn’t wait for it. She punches right through his wall when she said,

“I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN, LEE GON.”

And he is left there, dumbfounded, because she dared. He says,

“I THOUGHT MY NAME WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE CALLED. BUT I GUESS IT WAS SUPPOSED TO CALLED ONLY BY YOU.”

And with this, by calling him by his name, she is now the person closest to him. And the impact that this had on him was huge. He’s been an orphan since he was 8 and no one has probably called his name with love until now. She just blasted his whole world wide open. And this, I think, must have been the moment when Lee Gon fell in love with Jeong TaeEul, completely, helplessly, and fiercely.

#the king eternal monarch #thekingeternalmonarch #lee gon #leegon #jeongtaeeul #jeong tae eul #leeminho #kimgoeun #lee min ho #kim go eun #kdrama #analysis

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ashtonsunshine · 4 years

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CALM - Album analysis and review

This album tells us a story that we are invited to navigate through as we listen to it. A story that is divided in three chapters that encapsulate heartache, self-growth and love, all intertwined together. The tracks don’t tell the story in order but it is there for anyone who’s willing to listen to it.

Chapter I

Easier

They were both trapped in the relationship, and no matter where or to whom they turned, they always ended up together again.

He feels guilty and knows that she’s guilty too, but he couldn't find the strength in himself to do something about it. The inaction is the thing that was keeping him in that limbo. And he also knew that she didn't want anything to change because she was the one with all the power and she wasn't willing to give it up.

But he is now capable of seeing that it was never meant to last.

You can read more about it here.

Not In The Same Way

Here we have the picture of the never-ending toxic cycles his past relationship was.

She held all the power with her contradicting actions and her sharp words. She was the hurricane that was destroying his life, but he was also to blame, because he was incapable of saying no or taking action in the power play that that relationship was, and instead he kept lying and letting her do whatever she wanted.

He is now capable of realising that they were only good to each other at night and that everything was blurred in the morning, and that that isn’t the way he wants to live or the way love is supposed to be.

Thin White Lies

The realisation that the love is over and that after everything that happened, he is left alone with all the lies they both told and the emptiness it all brought.

He looks himself in the mirror but he can’t recognise himself anymore. He’s disappearing right in front of his eyes. It hurts not knowing who he is and who he has become, and it hurts not being able to escape her and all the heartbreak she inflicts.

The silence is too much to bare at night when the loneliness hits so he keeps going back to her for some kind of comfort, because it’s easier to live among all the lies than it is to face the painful reality and move on.

High

He finally decided to take a stance and end the relationship.

He decided to do the best for him and let it go, and the only thing he can now hope for is that the image she has of him isn’t a distorted one; he can only hope that she remembers him in a good light even though the image she has of him isn’t who he truly his and that he can never be that person.

All the good memories they had together will always stay with him but after facing himself in the mirror he realised that he needs something more than just scarce memories of nightly encounters and blurred mornings. He needs someone who’s there for him at all times of the day and she couldn’t give him that. He learnt that when it comes to love, he needs to be cautious and take it one step at a time, instead of simply diving right in.

It was time to change and be someone better. It was time for him to move on and find someone who is respectful enough to let him try being himself.

Chapter II

Red Desert

It’s the realisation that he needs to just let it all go and find a new life: a better one, a hopeful one. He needs to wake up, leave his demons and fears behind, trust himself and go and be free.

It’s a re-connection with the roots of what makes him happy and himself, with what’s important and makes him feel good, so he can recover from everything he went through.

By doing so, he can get in touch with who he was before all of it.

No Shame

After stumbling through life, he can now look back and be critical about his actions.

Everything he did had an effect on his personal and public life and, here, he dives deep into the way society works and its obsession with fame and how that can be impactful on someone who lives in the public eye.

He had to give himself away to survive in this environment and it's time to do something to change that.

You can read more about it here.

Old Me

It's an appreciation of what the past can give to the future. After his introspection, he realised that his past mistakes are what makes him who he is now.

He can now see that the rocky night life he lived was detrimental and that everyone around him was worried about him, and now every time he looks at himself, he is reminded of everything they did for him and how much they had to give of themselves to help him out.

Ultimately, he paid the price for his mistakes and it is now time to rise up and build a better version of himself.

Chapter III

Wildflower

This is the beginning of a new relationship.

The ecstasy runs high and the only thing he’s able to think about is her: how she looks, how she sounds, how she tastes, how she feels. His world revolves around her and how she is the only one who can make him feel this way.

Everything is wonderful, but despiste being his favourite fantasy, she’s also a fatal love song, so he needs to be careful.

You can read more about it here.

Teeth

The permanent discovery of who he is and who she is is confusing and, mixed with miscommunication, it creates an environment where fights can ensue. They fight and make up, and fight and make up again, but they still want to make it work.

All the pain that came from the fights doesn’t beat the willingness to be open towards each other. They are confused and hurt but they aren’t dead yet, so they keep on fighting through the doubt and fear, pursuing a relationship that, deep down, they know will work.

You can read more about it here.

Lonely Heart

He now knows that he found someone who he can connect with emotionally, someone who thinks like him, someone who he is willing to be with forever.

However, things aren’t always black and white and his actions hurt her. He can’t bare to watch her heart break due to all the fights so he lets her go, because if he truly loves her he has to let her go.

He knows that loneliness is something that both of them know well and, although he knows he’s doing the right thing, he still can’t bare it. He can’t sleep, thinking about her. He wants a second chance to make things right.

Lover Of Mine

After she left, he realised that he made a mistake by letting her go and this is him saying he loves her and wants her back. His mind is chaos and all the lies he lived through still haunt him and that will take some time to heal, but he regrets letting her go.

He's seen her rage and he’s seen her sadness; he’s been down with her in the depths of her mind. He knows who she is and being with her, being able to love her, is something he won’t regret. He knows she’s hurt and the tears he’s seen her cry because of his actions are the reflection of that, but he wants them both to burn down all their bad memories and start again.

He knows this new love he has found is right and, out of all of the mistakes he’s made in his life, letting her go is one he won’t repeat, because she’s the one.

Best Years

He’s owning up to all the wrongs he did while with her and accepting that, after everything he’s done, she has all the rights to not want to be back with him.

This is him saying that even though he’s still healing from the past heartbreak, he’s willing to work on himself to be able to love her the way she deserves to be loved. His last relationship, which was a love that burnt fast like cigarettes do, is to be put in the past and he’s now ready to focus on her and give back all the love she gave him when he was broken and lost and unable to love.

He’s making a promise to her that he will be better, that he will mend all his wrongs and be a better man for her by taking care of her. He wants to grown up alongside her and she won't regret staying with him.

In conclusion, this album is a story of realisation, understanding, compassion to the self and growth.

It’s about looking at your past and forgiving yourself for whatever mistakes you made towards yourself and the ones around you; it’s about introspection and being able to look back and understand that it is possible to do better, to be better; it’s about moving on and growing up as people and as lovers.

CALM is an album that combines all of 5SOS’ personalities and music influences: heavy guitars, excellent harmonies, heartfelt drums, and deep baselines. They are all coming together to make the 5SOS sound.

They managed to build a body of work that not only tells a story but also makes us appreciate the heavier and lighter sides of their music. The fact that they are able to combine all their tastes so well and come on the other side with an impressive and cohesive album, both lyric and music-wise, is commendable.

I feel like I should also address the Live From The Vault tracks. These are only proof that 5SOS are able to not only produce great studio tracks but also have the knowledge and creativity to turn them into a full live experience that showcases further who they are as a band and where they stand in the music panorama.

CALM truly is 5SOS personified and a step further into who they are as musicians and as people.

Tag list: @darnling-i-fancy-you @talksopretty @zokneszto @suchalonelyheart @calmvinyls @justjessa03 @smrttrtl

I'm going tag other people too: @kindahoping4forever @pxrxmoore @cashtonasfuck @sexgodashton @irwinkitten @ghost0fy0u @asht0ns-world @wildflowerirwin @tothemoonmikey @goth5sos @talkfastromance4 @wastethen8 @hey-its-grey @ladyknight1512 @bloodmoonashton @wonderland-irwin @feliznavidaddycal

#carmo says things #5sos #ashton irwin #calum hood #luke hemmings #michael clifford #CALM #CALM analysis

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mszegedy · 4 years

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You, too, can design a wrench to throw in the workings of the coronavirus

I pretty much never post about my job here. I do love my field, but it’s not a special interest of mine. Just a normal interest. And while the things I do are pretty easy to explain, it’s hard to explain why they matter.

Now it’s easy to explain why they matter, too. Unfortunately.

The term I’m most comfortable with for my job is protein engineer, but nobody uses that. So my bio says computational protein design specialist instead. I sit at a computer and design proteins. This is important because anything important that has ever happened has been accomplished with the help of proteins. They are the most useful thing to make living things out of, because you can use them as both structural components (struts, ropes, cages, armor plating, nets, pipes, spools) and as machines (assemblers, disassemblers, sorters, recyclers, dynamos, rotary motors, ratchet motors, pumps, locks and keys). They do all the things that make things be alive. (By the way, if you’re on desktop, every one of those words in the parentheses is a link, if you’re curious.)

More precisely, I wish I sat at my computer and designed proteins. Today, instead of doing that, I attended the first half of an emergency protein design conference called to discuss how we can design a protein that can be used to cure the coronavirus. It was five hours long and I’m really tired and I got nothing done today.

Even on a normal day, though, I don’t really design proteins. I just read papers, write programs that make charts, and write apologetic letters to my advisor.

This is because actually designing a protein is the easiest step. The rest is paperwork and tears. Designing a protein is so easy, actually, that I get computers to do it for me. But designing proteins is like playing Starcraft. You can beat a computer just by knowing what the hell you’re doing.

About a decade ago my research community made a program, called Foldit, that let anyone design proteins. We do the paperwork and tears, while you do the design. It’s a fair trade, because design is fun, and we still get paid. (Most of us, anyway.)

Right now, the world only has to accomplish one protein design task. This is the simplest it’s ever been: make a protein that sticks to some part of the spikes on the coronavirus. That’s it. Make the right protein, and you’ve cured the coronavirus.

Everybody in my research community is scrambling head over heels to attack the problem from all angles. With Foldit, you have… somewhere between 10 and 50 percent of those angles available to you. You make something even vaguely successful, and we can use it as fodder for our models and algorithms and clueless neural nets until we’ve aggregated the design for the stickiest motherfucking protein the coronavirus has ever seen. And it won’t be able to do anything to stop us.

Do you want to do something about the coronavirus, and think you can handle protein design? Read below the cut, I’ll explain exactly how you can do that. Do you want to do something about the coronavirus, and don’t think you can handle protein design? Read below the cut anyway, and you’ll change your mind, because protein design is about as hard as sculpting, except with a way lower skill ceiling.

Please help us. We believe in you. We discuss Foldit models at our conferences. We take you seriously. We take this pandemic seriously. We need you.

On board? Let’s dive in.

A protein is a sticky string. There’s two kinds of sticky: orange sticking to orange (”nonpolar” sticky), and red sticking to blue (”polar” sticky). Here’s a short protein, technically so short that we should refer to it as a “peptide”:

You can see that it’s organized into groups of 3, called “residues”: little red bit (a hydrogen), an optional orange bit of some kind (the “side chain”), and a blue bit (a carboxyl). At the ends, the red and blue bits get bigger. The fact that the red and blue bits are always there means that they can be arranged into some simple patterns, assuming there’s room. But let’s talk about the side chains for a moment.

Some side chains end in red and blue bits. These are the “polar” and “charged” side chains, and when the protein tangles itself into the right shape, they’re found on the outside. This is because outside the protein is water, and water molecules have a red part and a blue part, so the side chains want to stick to it. I put a water molecule, to scale, next to the first charged side chain, so you can have a visual. Polar and charged side chains are called “hydrophilic” side chains for this reason.

The pure orange “nonpolar” side chains, meanwhile, gather on the inside, sticking to each other in a gooey mess. They’re the opposite of hydrophilic: hydrophobic. When you achieve that gooey mess, you have “buried your hydrophobics”.

90% of figuring out what shape a protein will tangle up (euphemistically “fold”) into is burying your hydrophobics.

There’s only 20 kinds of side chains in total, and that’s also counting the weird residues with not-quite side chains like proline, that weird bend in the last but one residue in our little peptide, and glycine, the residue with no side chain at all. (Besides a measly hydrogen, and everyone knows hydrogens aren’t real. That’s a computational protein engineering injoke; feel free to use it. The joke is nobody knows exactly where hydrogens are, and nobody cares.) Here’s a family portrait:

I’m not gonna explain any of the weird ones here, because honestly, it’s not super important. Red sticks to blue, orange sticks to orange, and stuff that looks like it’s connected is connected. That’s it, that’s proteins. I guess it’s worth mentioning that the yellow parts are sulfur, but sulfurs are just large, bratty oxygens (the blue bits). They’re not special.

Remember how I said the regular alternation of red bits and blue bits on residues creates some simple, reliable patterns? “Some” is two. Well, technically a few more than two, but nobody really pays attention to the other ones, because they’re just knockoffs of the first two. Here is the first pattern. It’s the favorite pattern of isolated bits of protein with nothing better to do:

This is called an alpha helix. They’re stiff, like rods. You’ll see a lot of these. The other one happens when you lay bits of proteins side by side:

This is called a beta sheet. If you leave a bucket of any protein whatsoever in one place long enough, eventually it’ll fall apart and turn into these. That’s part of why cells have to clean their proteins up: otherwise, it’ll turn into this junk. (”This junk”, on the cellular level, is called amyloid fiber, and is deadly to the cell. On the human scale, it’s called silk, and it’s nice and soft.) But this is also a very structurally useful pattern; it creates tight but flexible weaves. They get shaped into barrels or parts of barrels, usually, but sometimes they get used as walls instead. And sometimes they’re very small and consist of just two short bits that need to get glued together at the sides.

The rest of the protein is just spaghetti, euphemistically called “loops”. The functional bits that attach to stuff outside the protein tend to be on the loops, because the loops are the most flexible and can be posed the most precisely. In real life, proteins are constantly undergoing vibrating motions on every level. The biggest motions are also the slowest; pac-man-shaped proteins will “breathe”, opening and closing at regular intervals. Usually the only time they’ll be able to bind stuff is when they’re open. The takeaway here is that all the stuff inside the protein is gonna wiggle anyway, and you have to make sure it looks the best when it’s wiggled open, if you’re trying to stick something.

Congratulations. That’s everything I know about how proteins get their shapes, pretty much. Your mission is now to make a protein that sticks really well to some important part of the coronavirus’s spikes. The spikes are made of protein, and when they get near an alveolar cell, they open up and jam a lockpick into a “lock” protein called ACE2 on the surface of the cell, which makes the cell sluuurrrp up the virus. Some good ideas are to cover the lockpick so it can’t activate the lock, or to jam the opening and closing mechanism so the spike’s shape gets distorted.

There’s also a couple of other proteins the coronavirus makes that you could try to mess up. A popular target is its two proteases. Viral proteins come like the plastic bits for assemblable toy models: all the pieces are there, but they’re connected together, and you have to break them apart before you can put them together. That’s what the proteases do. (The second protease also cuts off the “to be destroyed” tags that the cell’s proteins keep putting on the viral proteins.) It’s much harder to get your protein drug inside the cells, but once they’re there, they can be as effective as a drug that targets the virus before it gets into the cell. Leave the drug delivery to us. (Or to big pharma, idk. I got a C+ in drug delivery in undergrad, and got it bumped up to a B when I reminded the professor that my attendance grade was low because I was in the psych ward for a chunk of the semester. That’s still more drug delivery than most protein engineers have taken.)

You’re ready!

Here’s a “Getting started with Foldit” tutorial.

Here’s an in-depth analysis of the coronavirus spike for Foldit players, with an accounting of some of the more advanced tools at your disposal. (I highly recommend DDG, although it’s slow to compute in real time.)

#coronavirus #biochemistry #video games #covid-19 #covid19 #quarantine activities #molecular biology #proteins #protein folding #foldit #signal boost appreciated #coronavirus activities #biology #chemistry #computational biology #protein design

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itsmeezaki · 4 years

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How Do I Test My iPhone Battery?

Has this ever been you…? you're distant from home; distant from any source of electricity, once you realize that your iPhone battery is dead. you only charged it this morning! How could it already be dead? If this has ever been you, you recognize a frustration that a lot of folks know only too well.

But never fear, there are a couple of ways in which you'll test the life and functionality of the battery inside your iPhone so that you never need to experience that helpless feeling again. Keep reading for several ways to understand the solution to the question, “How do I test my iPhone battery?” Why would I want to check my iPhone’s battery?

If your phone is consistently dying on you or running slow and sluggishly, one among the culprits might be the health of your battery. you would possibly think that you simply can check the health of your battery by watching the small battery icon within the upper right corner of your phone, however, that's the status of your iPhone battery’s life.

Your iPhone battery’s health is some things completely different. Your iPhone’s battery life dictates how long your iPhone will stay charged on one charge, however, your iPhone’s battery health regulates how your battery life weakens over time. Constant use of your iPhone will cause your battery life to get shorter and shorter. That’s why your iPhone doesn’t hold its charge quite also because it did a year ago.

Unfortunately, you can't gain access to data about your iPhone battery’s health in your iOS settings, so to get this information, you'll get to undergo a few additional steps. Luckily there are several different approaches and methods to try to to it. The Apple Support App

One of the only ways, by far, to see the status of your iPhone battery’s health is to download the Apple Support app. This free app is amazingly helpful, not just for testing the life and functionality of your iPhone battery, but also for several other questions that you simply may need about your apple devices.

Through this application, you gain access to articles and knowledge tailored specifically to your apple product which answers your questions directly. you furthermore may get the choice to call, chat or email with an Apple expert. All you've got to try to do is just download the Apple Support app from the App Store.

Once you've got the app downloaded, simply start a talk session with an Apple technician. Once connected, tell them the difficulty that you simply are having together with your battery which you'd like for its health to be checked. they're going to then walk you through the method of doing just that. Once complete, a report of the status of your battery is going to be sent to Apple and therefore the representative will inform you of the status of your iPhone battery’s health.

If for whatever reason, you are doing not want to download the app, you'll also contact Apple Support through their support website or tweet them. one of the downsides to the present method is the lack of data. The diagnostic assay will offer you a pass or fail, so if you would like to urge a touch more specific about your iPhone battery’s health, you'll get to accompany one among our different options. Battery Life Doctor app

When it involves apps that will tell you about the status of your iPhone battery’s health, there is a veritable smorgasbord of options out there to settle on from. Some cost money, some just aren’t helpful, and a few are complicated to use. The Battery Life Doctor may be a refreshingly simple (and free) option for you to urge a reasonably thorough analysis of your battery health.

Just download the app from the App Store, and you'll gain access to an easy layout of most of the knowledge you'll ever need about your iPhone battery’s health. Battery Life Doctor tells you the general health of your battery, giving it a rating of “Perfect”, “Good”, “Bad”, etc. it'll also tell you the overall” Wear Level” of your iPhone battery.

This nifty percentage tells you ways much your battery has degraded over time. So, as an example, if your wear level is at 22%, then that means that the charge capacity of your iPhone’s battery is at 78%. this suggests, that your iPhone’s battery is merely capable of holding a touch over 3/4 of the charge that it did once you first got it.

The one downside to the present app is like many other free applications, it contains pesky advertisements. But if you'll affect those ads, which isn’t that difficult since this is often likely not an application that you simply will use fairly often, then this might be the answer for you. Coconut Battery

Another option for testing the health of your iPhone’s battery is to use your MacBook. If you own a Mac computer, then you'll download a free and amazing little program called Coconut Battery. this tiny utility application gives you an easy yet thorough check out not only your iPhone’s battery health but also your MacBook’s battery also.

You can even use it to research the life and health of your iPad’s battery too! Once you've got downloaded and installed the program, simply plug your iPhone into your MacBook together with your lightning cable and click on on the “iOS Device” tab at the highest of the appliance.

This will allow you to ascertain helpful information about your iPhone Battery just like the current charge, the complete charge capacity (the maximum amount that your battery are often charged with), the cycle count (amount of times your battery was charged from 0% to 100%) and even the temperature inside your iPhone’s battery.

The only downside to the present option is that it's only available on Macs. If you own a Windows computer, then you'll not be ready to use it. But don’t fret, because there are options out there for you also. iBackupBot

For people who don’t have a Mac, you'll download iBackupBot. This device is almost like coconut Battery. You download and install the appliance and plug your iPhone into your computer via the lighting cable. After it runs a diagnostic check on the status of your iPhone battery, it'll offer you access to a myriad of data including cycle count, full-charge capacity, and lots of others.

The downside to the present particular utility is that it's not free. It cost 35 dollars, however, you'll always bypass the charge by utilizing the “7-day free trial” option. It won’t offer you future access to the app, however, seven days is certainly long enough to see your iPhone battery’s health a few times and find out if something must be done.

Another downside to the present application is that the knowledge and layout aren’t as easy to know because of the other apps listed above. Regardless, iBackupBot remains a viable solution for getting an in-depth analysis of you the status of your iPhone’s battery health. What if your battery health just isn’t very good?

So, after utilizing one among the applications above, you've got determined that your iPhone’s battery isn’t very healthy. What does one do about it?

Nothing lasts forever. All electronic devices have a lifetime. that's why your telephone providers offer upgrades. However, there are a few options available to you.

Get your iPhone battery replaced. If your battery is struggling you'll catch on replaced fairly painlessly. Apple will roll in the hay for you, in fact, and at a fraction of the value of a replacement phone. Just visit their Apple Batteries website and click on their battery services under the iPhone option and you'll be directed to the iPhone Services Answer Center. There you'll find all of the knowledge you would like about the way to get your iPhone battery replaced without even leaving your home. Just a fair warning, this may cost you within the neighborhood of $80 and can leave you without your phone for the higher a part of every week.If that doesn’t work for you there also are other options. If there's an apple store near you, you'll always visit them and have them fix it there. it'll cost an equivalent, minus the delivery fee. If there isn’t an apple store near you, don’t hand over hope.You can always find the closest Authorized Apple Service Center and obtain them to exchange your battery for you. If this is often the choice that you simply would like to pursue, you'll get to make a meeting . attend Apple’s Support Page, click “iPhone”, then “Battery, Power & Charging.” Once that's done you'll want to click “Battery replacement” and lastly “Bring certain repair.”After doing so, you'll be prompted to log in together with your Apple ID and provides a reason for the repair request. then, you'll be directed an inventory of the closest available locations and therefore the times that they're available to repair your iPhone.BONUS: If you're still rocking that iPhone 6, and still aren’t looking to upgrade, you'll get this service finished less expensive. Rick Broida has a superb article on the way to replace your iPhone 6 battery without breaking the bank.

Get a replacement iPhone.

I know, you've got been adjourning getting that new upgrade. you'll be asking yourself, “Is the newer iPhone 8 or X that far better than my iPhone 6?” the straightforward answer is yes, it is. However, whether or not you ought to finally spring for that upgrade depends on what you primarily use your phone for, and the way often you employ it.

For example, if you're an amateur photographer and use your phone to constantly take pictures, then you ought to consider going for the upgrade especially if your phone maybe a few years old. The newer iPhones accompany far better lenses, technology, and lots of more filters and settings that allow you to require stunning pictures.

Another reason to upgrade is that Apple has gotten significantly better at creating phones with much greater battery life. Remember, that's a term for a way long your battery will continue one charge. If you haven’t upgraded in quite a while, you'll be shocked at what proportion longer the newer phones will last before they're going to get to be charged.

Often, people that just use their phones for texting and therefore the occasional call can even go a few days without charging. Apple has even gone wireless with charging for the iPhone X, which suggests you'll charge on charge pads that conveniently located in many stores and even in some newer model cars.

Ultimately, only you'll decide on whether you would like to upgrade or not. Replacing your battery could also be cheaper, but you'll be missing out on tons of options and upgrades that are only available on a more modern iPhone.

#iphone #battery life #apple #tech

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realtalk-princeton · 5 years

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To Maybach -- Anon 2023 again. Honestly, my other major option is Brown (and Penn, but that's out by now) and I'm concerned that I'd be sacrificing happiness if I choose Pton. "Happy" is a part of the Brown brand, whereas "ahhhhh" seems to be a part of Pton's. I want the name and the opportunities Pton would afford me. I suppose that's not a question, but how would you respond? Do you understand what I mean? Is it so awful to pick Pton 4 name/opportunity (in addition to the other stuff)

Sorry for the delay everyone, I just got caught up in a lot of obligations. Due to multiple popular demands from both pre-frosh and current students, I decided to structure my Brown and Princeton story in the following manner. In the first section, I’ll give my background context prior to starting college and my feelings throughout the years on the subject. In the second section, I’ll specifically address the above question in more detail with my many thoughts on key distinctions between the two schools. I think the combination will serve the purposes of everyone quite nicely. Lastly, if any pre-frosh ever want to talk to me, feel free to reach out and ask for my contact information. Or even better yet lol, I just remembered that PREVIEW started, so I guess it might be easier to just talk in person to me. I actually don’t even have class tomorrow haha. I just think that talking is sometimes easier than writing and also in these responses sometimes I have to speculate. For example, I can pretty safely state that if a pre-frosh is almost certain of being a pre-med, Brown is probably going to be a much less stressful experience, but I have no idea if this applies to you beforehand.

So anyway, even though it was four years ago, I still remember it like it was yesterday. Boy time flies. I was not the most studios or stand-out HS student. I wasn’t the valedictorian or salutatorian of a rather small school far away from major cities. While some Princetonian HS students spent summer doing lab research at universities, I spent mine goofing off with friends and traveling. We used to actually have a bonfire at the end of the school year and burned stacks of our HW up to 4 feet high lol. When it came to applying to college, I did not actually even again acceptance to NYU or BC lol even though my stats were more than up to par. I guess maybe they were concerned that I wouldn’t be a very hard-working student. Luckily, I am very fortunate that despite coming from an extremely educated family (grandfather and mom went to Columbia, Dad went to Berkeley, etc.), my parents never put that much pressure on me. So as you can imagine, I was super excited when I heard that I got into Princeton, Brown, Cornell, and some other schools. For a period of time, I was actually getting ready to go to Brown. My SO at the time had committed to URI and I was psyched by the super expressive culture of Brown. Students prided themselves on being true to themselves and also took full advantage of freedom with responsibility. The location was close enough to NYC and some kids from my HS were already there. I always hated excessive structure and authority growing up and the prospect of 70%’s A’s granted, no +/I’s, and pass/failing anything was totally alluring! On a side note, I always laugh when they say that people don’t abuse pass/fail and use it only like 10-15% of the time. Well, maybe that’s because they’re already handing out A’s like it’s water and all A-’s become A’s haha. But anyway, I was psyched. Who wouldn’t want to live at camp Brown and take it easier than HS, but still be guaranteed a legit degree on your resume? However, after I visited Princeton, connected with a large number of alumni, and actually started putting real thought into my education, my perspectives slowly, but surely started to change. I think what I really underestimated was the power of the Princeton degree and how impressive our alumni network truly is. The people I met and still meet to this day are absolutely brilliant in several respects (e.g. they aren’t just nerds in one subject) and many are focused on maximizing their impact and allocation of influence in this world. The alumni donation rate is nothing short of incredible and the chance to be part of this network was alluring. I remember meeting a guy actually who got waitlisted and was already attending Duke when he got the chance to go to Princeton. He lived every moment to the fullest with his academic pursuits, the social network of brilliant, but diverse persons, and solid career plans. Anyway, it just became more clear to me over time that while Princeton was rigorous, it’s academic qualities could be much more intimate and engaged than Brown and the intellectual horsepower of its students (mostly) created truly incredible and impactful people. Jeez lol I forget sometimes how many alumni we have on the SC, in politics, business, arts, etc. At Brown, all they do is gush over Emma Watson in an almost cult-like way (sarcasm). But anyway, I was getting pushed as you can imagine, but I was still worried as I wasn’t the best HS student and grade deflation had literally only ended the year before. But eventually, the offer was just too good to pass up. Once you become a Princeton student, your life truly does change and people will treat you give you credit solely based on this fact (whether it’s right or wrong is another story). I remember before I even committed, I was hanging out at the Princeton Club in New York and a few days later some of the guys (who literally knew me for like a few days), invited me out and basically paid of lunch at Smith and Wollensky and lauded me on my “accomplishments” lol and how they could always be resources to bolster a Princetonian. Pretty soon after I committed.

As for answering your specific question, I’m already seeing red flags. Whenever you choose a school for the name, that’s setting yourself up for a bad time. Yes, our opportunities are better. Look at the difference in endowments lol. It’s like that for a reason even though they have way more students and more grad schools. It’s also reflected as well in our post-graduation salary averages. Brown is more creative with RISD and it’s curriculum, but that doesn’t always equal more opportunities. Princeton has the most power and resources of any university on a per-student basis and gives us an incredibly powerful brand and network. That said, you should probably explore why you want to go to Princeton other than the name and brand. One of the miserable people I know picked Princeton over another school because it was the “Best” school she got into and that’s just not fun when you didn’t research enough beforehand. By contrast, I know someone who turned down Harvard for a small liberal arts school in the middle of nowhere and she had an amazing time. If you feel like and click with Brown’s social scene, that’s another reason for not going to Princeton. Academically, Princeton is better for people who want rigor and want to truly maximize their learning in a short period of time and be around amazing minds. Our depth is much better than Brown’s and it shows with how strong our students are in critical thinking skills both inside and outside of their majors. However, there is a downside to this. For example, if you want to major in physics at Princeton, you better adapt fast or be damn good at it. You can’t just “love” physics and be relatively bad at it (compared to your peers) to succeed here because we teach you to be the best students possible from professors who literally wrote your book. At Brown, sure you don’t learn as much or go as deep, but you can major in almost anything because you just aren’t held to the same standards. So there’s a tradeoff. If I majored in Brown’s business program, let me just say that I would not NEARLY be perceived by others to be so intelligent (even though I’m not lol). I know the kids in the degree, it’s not like they are dumb, but jeez lol is it a joke a bunch of the time. Relating sociology to business for example on the surface can seem like a good idea that teaches people until you actually see what they’re writing and working on. I would probably have a 4.0 without working as hard too. And I don’t mean this to mean I’m like super smart or anything. It’s just not comparable to Princeton. However, I am super blessed and thankful that I did take Economics here seriously. The kinds of critical thinking skills and the ability to analytically dissect complex multi-faceted problems that I have developed serve me very well and I feel so rewarded. I literally got a position at a hedge fund with no experience at all because the interviewer liked how I wrote a research paper on guns an applied rigorous statistical analysis in many novel ways to answer new questions. This is no different in many ways than using public information using novel techniques to find value where nobody else sees it. But overall, I think that I’m feeling Brown for you unless you are willing to work harder here for greater depth of learning. I just want to say too though that despite me working hard, I still don’t pull-allnighters almost ever and I still have achieved very high grades. You don’t have to be a genius to do well here. Take it from me. I had piss-poor test scores (by Princeton standards) and was not a valedictorian, but if you are strategic and work reasonably hard and are disciplined, the work is more than doable. I don’t want to brag because I think it promotes bad culture, but you ought to know that a student like me can succeed academically and perform at the top of their class without working in the library all the time. So you should really evaluate what kind of learning experience you want and where you will be most likely to be happy and healthy. Some people just want a break after HS and don’t care about going super deep into their learning development. That’s totally fine, but then Brown is probably better (assuming you also like the culture). Some people would really abuse Brown’s system, not really learn, develop unhealthy and bad habits, and be kind of bored. In that case, Princeton is better. It really depends on you, but if all you see here for you is a name, you’re probably shooting yourself in the foot coming here.

Anyway hope that all helps. I can answer specifics if you have them too.

Edit. also I realized how long this all is and noticed that maybe some of you should just call me or I can connect you with people I know who love Brown lol. It’s sometimes harder to write these things and express everything properly compared to like a 30-minute dinner conservasation. Just putting it out there. I’m also exhausted lol from staying up until 4am the past few nights for this huge deal coming up. I did this tonight so that I wouldn’t mess up my sleep schedule any further and avoid taking a nap lol.

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readingsbylibramc · 3 years

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synastry chart reading for @ladyestrella

hello! welcome to your reading. I'm going to give you a quick overview of what I'm going to analyze about your synastry chart: in-depth analysis of house overlays with major aspects, potential of the relationship, soulmates indicators, possible marriage indicators, possible issues and struggles of the relationship, intimacy and physical attraction, what they feel when they see / think about you, in-depth analysis of fate, love and marriage asteroids. of course, if you have any questions, feel free to ask! my dms are always open. now let's get into the reading!

PARTNER A: she/her | aquarius sun, leo moon, pisces rising

PARTNER B: he/him | pisces sun, aquarius moon, pisces rising

PARTNER A

- personal planets -

🌞 partner a's aquarius sun in his 11th house

this could be the type of relationship that started off as a friendship, or at least that feels like a friendship. you and your partner don't focus on doing cheesy, romantic couple stuff, but you also enjoy having fun together like two friends. you may attend parties and events together, you may go out with your friends and get along with each other's friends pretty well. you may socialize more as a couple, perhaps even more than you two usually do. this placement can also indicate that you two met thanks to your friends for example, or maybe online, or even at some sort of social gathering like a party, a concert, etc. basically, a place crowded with people. the 11th house is also about long-term goals, and hence your partner may see you as a dream, as something he wants to last. you two may have a long-term, stable relationship, you both want this relationship to work and to last as much as possible. in addition, this placement may also motivate both of you to achieve the best in life, you may drive each other to be successful and achieve your goals, or perhaps one of them may even be of help to the other to get a reputation, a job, etc.

partner a's aquarius sun conjunct partner b's aquarius neptune: I would say that this placement isn't too bad, but not great either. first of all, neptune is a karmic planet, therefore we're certainly talking about a soulmate connection here. you two are probably very spiritually connected, you just get each other, and you probably feel a level of comfort when you're with the other that almost feels too good to be true. you see your crush as a dream, he totally fits your ideal of partner, your standards. in fact, you may often find yourself daydreaming about him and vice versa, it is a very sweet and romantic placement that makes it seem as if you're living in a fairy tale. you are both very intuitive, you're able to easily understand whether the other is happy, sad, angry... I feel like, with proper communication (which I assume this couple has), this aspect can be way more positive than negative. the negative side of this conjunction is that you may fantasize and idealize each other too much, you may create a version of your partner that only exists in your head. because of that, you may not acknowlege his mistakes, you may constantly blame yourself instead of him and vice versa. but again, your chart mostly has positive aspects, so I don't think these bad effects are much prominent in your relationship. now that you're aware of this issue, you can also try to solve it after all.

🌙 partner a's leo moon in his 6th house

this placement is also kind of neutral. in fact, the 6th house isn't really a romantic house, but with the moon here I think it can bring some lovely aspects as well. the moon is all about feelings and emotions, while the 6th house is the house of health and routine. that means that in your day-to-day life, you could be very affectionate with each other. you may be into physical contact and cuddling, and you may basically be sweet with each other on a daily basis. you feel extremely comfortable with each other, you feel at home when you're together, and hence you can both be yourselves with the other, you don't have to worry about being judged or misunderstood. you're also both very considerate of each other's health, both physical and mental. for instance, you could try to protect each other from eventual dangers, and if one of you actually gets sick, then the other is ready to take care of them. you could also be very considerate about each other's mental health, and combined with your heavy neptune influence that makes you two very intuitive, you may often psychoanalyze each other. in the worst case, you may feel as if you needed to 'serve' your partner, you could become very accommodating because of him. as a result, your partner could possibly take advantage of your kindness, but this is quite of a stretch of course. your chart is mostly positive, so I wouldn't mind that much about it, but I'd still keep my eyes open if I were in you.

partner a's leo moon opposite partner b's aquarius moon: you two are same and different at the same time. you may understand each other's feelings, ideals, emotions... you may even share them in a certain sense, you see eye to eye on a variety of topics, but you may still find yourselves bickering each other, there could still be some misunderstandings between you two or even disagreements. especially since this opposition happens on the proud line of leo - aquarius, you two may get particularly irritated when someone tries to contradict you, and hence this could be a cause of conflict in your relationship. try to be more open to each other's opinions and points of view, and if you don't share them try at least to understand them. communication is key to get along, force yourselves to discuss more and argue less if you truly care about the health of this connection.

🗣 partner a's aquarius mercury in his 12th house

this placement makes you extremely empathetic in regards of your partner. you probably can tell what’s going on in his mind pretty well, you may complete his phrases, you may basically read his mind. you know when he’s happy, when he’s sad, when he’s angry, when he’s lying... he’s an open book to you, he can’t hide. perhaps, you may even make dreams about him and viceversa. you could often find yourself daydreaming about this person as well. on the other hand, there are a few problems caused by this placement as well, we’re still talking about the 12th house after all. first of all, your partner is a pisces dominant: he’s lonely, secretive, private... he doesn’t like showing his real nature to others, he feels uncomfortable revealing all of his secrets, his mind. having someone that understands him so deeply, while it can impress him in some way, you may catch his attention, but at the same time he may as well be annoyed by it. he may start feeling overwhelmed from this lack of privacy, he may want to run away as this relationship could start being unhealthy, especially for him. or perhaps, he may actually be looking for a relationship of this kind, an intense, transformative relationship, therefore he may actually appreciate it, but it depends on what he wants from a partner. his pisces venus makes me think that he would feel at ease with such a strong connection, but again, it all depends on his personal preference. last but not least, this placement can also make the two of you quite paranoid; your partner may often feel as if you’re hiding something from him, and that could interfer in your bond of course.

partner a's aquarius mercury conjunct partner b's aquarius jupiter: this placement is extremely positive, especially in your chart! you two need to communicate to sort out your misunderstandings and disagreements, and thanks to this aspect you two are able to have a decent conversation. when you discuss with the other, you are able to broaden your horizons and learn about new points of view, of theories... you can become very open-minded together, you may help each other discovering new ideals and opinions. you could talk a lot, perhaps even through texts, communication surely isn't lacking between you two. it's a very encouraging and non-judgemental relationship, you're able to talk about literally anything without being laughed at. in addition, jupiter also brings lots of fun to your talks; you may often make jokes and laugh together, you're able to have light-hearted conversation that brighten up the mood of both of you. together with your sun in the 11th house, you may even come off as a couple of friends rather than a couple of lovers.

❤️ partner a's sagittarius venus in his 10th hous

with this overlay, there's lots of admiration from both parties. more specifically your partner probably looks up to you, he agrees with your ideas and he's fascinated by your drive. he may be very attracted to your looks, to the way you treat people, to the way you present yourself, he may even see you as superior to him in a certain sense. with this placement, if you and your partner get together he'll surely treat you like a living goddess!! this admiration is obviously mutual, you're also attracted to your partner, you may see him as a stable point, a safe spot. of course, since the 10th house is also the house of career and work, this relationship could also be beneficial for each other's jobs and goals. you are probably very emotionally supportive of each other's dreams, or perhaps you may even help each other in a more concrete way. overall, you may appear as the perfect couple when you're together; you're probably not afraid of pda, and hence you may have lots of eyes on you. luckily, though, I don't see you attracting much jealousy or any kind of malicious feeling.

partner a's sagittarius venus sextile partner b's aquarius moon: this placement is absolutely lovely! you two are probably very romantic individuals, and if you're not, you're at least able to bring the romance out of each other. you are very affectionate, you may enjoy physical contact and cuddling, you probably express your love for each other through gestures. comfort and ease just flow easily between you two, it's a very powerful aspect that makes you two love each other's company. you could be the type of couple to spoil each other, maybe in gifts, or even in compliments. it's that type of relationship that boosts each other's self-esteem. you could also be the type or couple to call each other sweet names, such as 'baby', 'honey', and so on, this kind of things. this is also another placement that indicates that you two could be quite devoted to each other, you're always there when needed and vice versa.

partner a's sagittarius venus square partner b's pisces mars: I wouldn't say this is an extremely negative placement, but still there could be some major problems regarding conflicts. you and your partner may not see eye to eye regarding love and sex, you may struggle to meet each other's wants. for example, you may desire more romanticism from your partner, and your partner may want more physical attraction from you. you may tend to act submissive around your partner, he could make you feel like a teenager, while your partner adopts a more bossy, stereotypically 'manly' behaviour. while this may be attractive and 'safe' for both of you, it could actually become a boring relationship that doesn't bring anything new to both of you. you are very different, you most likely have differents needs and wants that you expect from a relationship, making it difficult to work of course. but again, you're not doomed: your venus is sextile your partner's moon. that means that, with time and growth, your partner will eventually start to understand you and your point of view. basically, at first it may be hard to feel healthy while being in a relationship of this kind, but as time goes by, you'll both learn some major life lessons that will improve your love life. even if this relationship doesn't last, you'll still get out of it with loads of maturity and experiences.

☄️ partner a's pisces mars in his 1st house conjunct the ascendant

this placement makes you literally crave your partner. it probably was instant attraction, you couldn't help but stare at him when you first met him. you find him extremely attractive and sexy, you probably love having physical contact with him, even just placing your hand on his shoulder is fine. you're probably attracted to his look, it's what first caught your attention, but also to his drive, his goals and aspirations. you see your crush as someone very bold, leader-material and extremely passionate about everything they do. I feel like you could be the one to take the initiative in the relationship, you may be the one to ask him out, you could take the lead during sexual moments, and overall you're very direct and blunt in your approach, you probably don't care about looking so obviously into him. your attraction to him makes you so energetic that you actually pass some of this energy down to your partner; that is, if he's shy for example, you may literally make him want to step out of his comfort-zone. you motivate him to take action and improve himself. the only problem that comes with this placement is that a lot of competitiveness could arise. you, the mars person, may even try to 'control' your partner, you could be overbearing. for example, you could interfer in his studies / job, or maybe you answer for them... this type of stuff. it's important to respect your partner's boundaries and viceversa, or it's a total turnoff, especially since this conjunction happens in the respectful and dreamy sign of pisces.

partner a's pisces mars conjunct partner b's pisces sun: as I've already mentioned above, this relationship is a total self-esteem booster. you find each other extremely attractive, you two fit each other's standars of attractiveness. in fact, this placement indicates lots of sexual chemistry between you two. one thing sure, this relationship certainly isn't boring; even though you may sometimes argue over dumb things, as there's quite a bit of competitiveness between you two, there's also lots of passion. you could possibly be the dominant figure in the relationship, or at least your partner sees you as a very hard-working, assertive and ambitious person, and he probably admires you fondly for that. he could be your #1, he may encourage your energy even more. it's a very powerful aspects that allows you two to suceed, not only in this relationship but also in your day-to-day life. just be mindful that you can easily avoid childish arguments if you want.

partner a's pisces mars conjunct partner b's pisces venus: in astrology, this is considered to be the ultimate physical attraction aspect! in fact, you two probably find each other very attractive and magnetic. I don't think this connection started off as a friendship, and if it did then it was probably unbearable, as the attraction and chemistry between you two is just way too much to handle. you two most likely are a very touchy couple, not necessarily in a sexual way but you find it hard not to stare, touch each other; physical contact is key in this connection. this is another placement that makes me think that you are the dominant figure in your relationship, you could be the one to approach this person first for instance. in general, you tend to be the one who takes the initiative in any context. your partner appreciates your partner, and he may feel romantically attracted to you, you probably fit his ideals when it comes to looks, personality, etc. this placement probably makes this relationship so intense and magnetic that it will be hard to forget, even if you two don't end up together. this is certainly a soulmate / twinflame connection, especially with your neptunian energy. I'm sure you're both going to learn a lot from this connection.

PARTNER B

🌞 partner b's pisces sun in her 1st house conjunct the ascendant

your partner probably thought that you were very attractive when he first saw you. you may meet his ideals of beauty, he sees you as his type of girlfriend. he likes the way you move, the way you speak and present yourself, or even just the way you look physically, he may like your face and body. he may even be more straight-forward and approach you first, he may often spoil you with compliments and you don’t step back from them. you appreciate the way he looks, or even stare at you. actually, you may even crave his attention. your partner, aside from admiring you deeply, may even take you as a role model, he may desire to be like you, especially in your way of approaching the world. same thing goes for you: you also appreciate the way your partner lives his life, his achievements, his goals, his ideals, and so on. luckily, there aren’t other negative placements that interfer with this mostly-posiitve aspect. in fact, this aspect could possibly bring a feeling of competition between you two, as instead of admiring and appreciating the other, you may start hating yourselves because you think the other is better.

🌙 partner b's aquarius moon in her 12th house

this is probably one of the most spiritual and karmic overlays you two have in this chart. this partner may probably uncover some part of your life that you can't see, that are hidden to you. probably, it will be issues regarding your emotions, your feelings, maybe even childhood matters. it could even be quite traumatic at first, as this person is so intuitive that seems to know everything about you, he pushes the right buttons making impact. talking to this person is like talking to a psychologist, he knows perfectly what's bothering you and how to deal with it, it's certainly a very healthy aspect if you accept to be helped. you may be more introverted around your partner, exactly because you feel quite exposed of your insecurities, of your secrets, but as time goes by you'll start seeing each other as a place of comfort. being with and venting your feelings with your partner becomes something ordinary for you, it's totally natural thanks to this feeling of ease. this feeling is actually mutual, you guys look as if you have a psychic connection together, and this placement also indicates that you probably share some past lives together.

🗣 partner b's pisces mercury in her 1st house conjunct the ascendant

with this placement, you probably also fell for your partner for the way he talks, he exposes his thoughts, his choice of words. you may even be literally into his voice, you like the way it sounds, you thought it was attractive when you first heard it. you may even see your partner as someone smart and intellectual who has a way with words, someone that can achieve whatever he wants thanks to his witty intellect. you may also enjoy his sense of humor, you probably don’t force your laugh when you’re around him because you find him genuinely entertaining. as for your partner, he may also be into the way you think and talk, he could be fascinated by your ideas and creativity. in addition, mercury is all about curiosity, and hence he may be curious to get to know you. when you first met him, he felt this sudden urge to get to know you, he could’ve been the first one to randomly approach you, and he started making random questions just to hav ìe a conversation with you. even more simple things like “What is your favourite food?” looks fine to him, as long as he learns something new about you, he cares about this kind of stuff. this placement can surely make good friendships, as you two are able to have an amusing conversation, even though it may be more casual rather than deep. you probablty wouldn’t talk about the meaning of life with him, to make it simple, but rather about your hobbies, your passions.

❤️ partner b's pisces venus in her 1st house conjunct the ascendant

this placement indicates that you most likely find each other extremely attractive! you probably fit his beauty standards, you find him very charismatic and charming, it's hard for you not to stare at him. basically, he's your type. also, aside from being into his looks, you may also be fascinated from the way he presents himself in general: you may like his fashion sense, his manners, the way he approaches people, the way he speaks... bascially, everything about the outer him, it was likely love at first sight, or at least you instantly felt strong attraction to this individual when you first met him. also, this placement also indicates that you may inspire your partner in an artistic way, and viceversa. for example, let's suppose you like writing; you may feel inspired by your partner to write books about him, or perhaps poetry or song lyrics. you see your partner as someone aesthetically pleasant, basically as a piece of art. this feeling is mutual. overall, you both feel flattered and loved by the other, you may often compliment each other and that will be a complete self-esteem boost for both of you. feeling loved by your partner and viceversa inspires you to love yourself, and as a result you feel more beautiful.

☄️ partner b's libra mars in her 7th house

with this placement, the admiration I've talked about above is most likely mutual; in fact, you also feel interested in your partner because you see him as someone assertive, an action-taker, someone surely bold. you may start craving this partner, not necessarily in an obsessive way but in a way that makes you two kind of rush things in the relationship. for example, you may start dating very fast, or perhaps since the 7th house is also the house of marriage you nay rush your marriage, but this is kind of a stretch so make sure to only take what resonates. this placement also indicates that your partner could possibly take advantage of you, they may become very dominant in the relationship and you could end up depending on them, but I don't really think it's the case of this connection. as I've already said above, there are other aspects that indicate that you're also respected in this relationship, therefore I feel like you may be able to balance and compromise with each other to get along, especially since mars is placed in the cooperative sign of libra. at least, this is another placement that indicates that there's loads of passion and sexual attraction between you two that will hardly fade, they are probably the main features of this connection actually.

ASTEROIDS & CO

partner b's virgo north node square partner a's sagittarius venus: I feel like with this placement you two are both very attracted to each other romantically speaking, there was instant affection between you two. yet, as time goes by, you may start feeling as if something is missing, it could be your partner above all to think this. he may feel as if he needs to explore, experience something else. you, on the other hand, you may start feeling as if you were always the most invested in the relationship, as if you were always the one to try to improve it in some way. because of that, I wouldn't say that this relationship is meant to be long-term as you may grow out of each other, but never say never! it's just a negative aspect in a bunch of positive placements, and remember that you can achieve anything you desire with proper communication.

and this is the end! thank you for booking a reading, let me know if you have any questions :) - libramc xx

- not corrected yet -

#astrology

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everyforkedroad · 6 years

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Happy Ending? - Call Me By Your Name (book)

This is a really long freaking post.

I saw Call Me By Your Name for the first time at the beginning of April. I was working on a challenge for Camp NaNoWriMo and had committed to editing 30K of my novel. But watching the movie, then reading the book twice threw a wrench in all of my plans (I still made it at the end of the month, but just barely and I can’t speak to the quality of my work).

I’ll spare you the insane ways I got my friends and family to read the book and/or watch the movie and instead dwell on what I came here to talk about, which is the ending of the novel. The first time I read it, it struck me as unbearably sad and unrequited. My heart broke for the “parallel lives” Elio and Oliver lived, how they might not ever reclaim the love that had so marked their lives.

Then I read an interview where the author, André Aciman confesses that there is a happy ending hidden in that last meeting between Oliver and Elio. This, of course, buoyed me, but it also forced me to go back and confront those last twenty pages or so which had initially so saddened me. A more careful reading made me very excited for the idea of a sequel, how wonderful it could be, though it would have to have a different tone from the first movie. A close read reinforced the impression that there was, in fact, space for an ending full of possibility and hope for Elio and Oliver.

I’m not a particularly grand essayist, my strength lying more in the realm of fiction, but I tried to organize my thoughts and evidence in support of Aciman’s statement (all locations are in the Kindle Edition). It’s my assertion that Aciman sets up the possibility of a reconciliation between Elio and Oliver and leaves clues for the reader to reach that same conclusion.

I’ve divided my analysis in two parts - Elio’s visit to New England and Oliver’s visit after Mr. Perlman’s death.

Forgive me in advance if I forget anything or get something wrong.

tl;dr – Elio and Oliver have the possibility of a happy resolution, after all.

I. Elio’s visit to New England

I believe the seeds for understanding the ending of the book are planted throughout the novel, but are brought into focus in this section, so I will dwell on some aspects of the exchange that takes place between Oliver and Elio when they go to the hotel to have drinks:

“Your best moment?” (3109)

After some reminiscing, it is Oliver who poses this question to Elio. To readers who believe Oliver was unaffected by his relationship to Elio, this might come as a surprise. However, you have to remember that it is Oliver who reaches out to Elio in a bid for profound intimacy when he asks him, so many years before, to call him by his name. Though Elio and Oliver were already discussing the past in a more abstract way, Oliver is the one who makes it intensely personal. Like the oneness he sought 15 years earlier, he reaches for that connection, as if he has been waiting for a very long time to ask this of Elio.

“Am I glad you came.” (3119)

Again, it is significant that it is Oliver who says this to Elio. It calls to mind the exchange after they’d been together – “Do you know how glad I am that we slept together?” (The movie changes the wording from “glad” to “happy,” which conveys a stronger sense of joy). Oliver is opening himself up to Elio, making himself vulnerable, as he did so many years before.

“Would you start all over again?” (3124)

Oliver asks Elio this question. It makes Elio nervous – of course it would! They are skirting the truth once more, like they did in that summer in Italy. It also reveals what Oliver has on his mind as he is speaking to Elio. His question is not entirely hypothetical. Elio responds in the affirmative, followed by “I’ve had two of these and am about to have a third” which echoes Oliver’s comments about the boiled egg he ate during his first breakfast with the Perlman’s, indicating how precarious both of their self-control is when they want something.

“Seeing you is like waking from a twenty year coma…” (3124-3129)

This section is significant in putting Oliver’s life in context. I’ve seen many people who said, “Well, at least Oliver got married and had kids and found some contentment.” This discounts what it means to shut off an important part of yourself in an effort to carry on with life. Oliver certainly has satisfactions and is proud of his family, just as Elio has had lovers and successes in his own past. But Oliver also describes a vision not dissimilar to that of Rip Van Winkle, in which he falls asleep as a young man and wakes the same age as when he left Elio, the rest of his life having passed without his participation.

In the subsequent exchange, he amends his wording and tells Elio a “part of it – just part of it – was a coma, but I prefer to call it a parallel life. It sounds better.” This parallels the description of earlier of them as old men in a piazza, reminiscing – “And we’ll want to call it envy, because to call it regret would break our hearts.” Both phrases serve to soften the truth – Oliver is not unlike a man sleep-walking through a part of his life. Whatever Oliver found in the years after leaving Elio forced him to bury something important, something intensely connected to Elio. Elio, ever more unfiltered with this feelings, does not soften the wording when he describes his own life as a coma (3139).

“Cor Cordium, heart of hearts, I’ve never said anything truer in my life to anyone.”

Oliver confesses, in one of those scene-stealing moments, the depth his experience with Elio has had on him. This recalls Plato’s Symposium and the story of the souls who split at birth, ever wandering the world in search of each other again. Elio is his heart, just as his heart (and Billowy) are all that Elio has of Oliver. This phrase also calls to mind Oliver’s words when he is first intimate with Elio and asks him to call him by his name. This is Oliver’s truth, the part he has had to bury, and it belongs completely to Elio. It is more than love. He and Elio are one.

II. Visit after father’s death, five years later:

When Oliver arrives to visit after the death of Mr. Perlman, Elio takes Oliver on a tour of the places they’d been together. Remember, this is the first time in 20 years in which they’ve been in Elio’s house at the same time. Below are all the ways Oliver reveals that he remembers their time together:

“My old room” (3188)

“Orle of paradise/squeaky gate” 3197

“Been there, done that” when Elio shows him the empty lot (3202)

“To die for” to describe the belfry (3202)

“I’ll bet you they never closed my account” (3202)

“Beneath us was his rock, where he sat at night, where he and Vimini had whiled away entire afternoons together.” (3207)

“I’ve kept all her letters […] I’ve kept yours too” 3207

All of these memories explode between them, leading up to the exchange,

“Are you happy you’re back?”

He saw through my question before I did.

“Are you happy I’m back?” he retorted.

I looked at him, feeling quite disarmed, though not threatened. Like people who blush easily, but aren’t ashamed of it, I knew better than to stifle this feeling and let myself be swayed by it.

“You know I am. More than I ought to be, perhaps.”

“Me too.”

That said it all.

Reader, this matters so much, the That said it all, because the entire reminiscing is a building crescendo that starts with the remembering of five years ago, revealing both to be of one mind. It carries the reader to the inevitable conclusion:

“I know he (Mr. Perlman) would have wanted something like this to happen, especially on such a gorgeous, summer day” (3234)

Something like this, on a gorgeous summer day. What beautiful things took place between these two on days such as this? What could Mr. Perlman have wanted for his son and the one he treated like a son-in-law on a day like this? Something like this.

“Remember the way?”

“I remember the way,”

“You remember the way,” I echoed (3237)

Oliver reiterates over and over, I remember, and Elio echoes it, in the same way he echoes himself when he says Because I wanted you to know. Oliver tells him finally,

“I’m like you, I remember everything.” (3247)

When we come to the last, heartbreaking paragraph, the coda is complete. Oliver and Eliot cannot behave as two strangers on a train. Elio’s plea is not an open-ended question. Oliver has answered it over and over again, has been answering this question even before it was posed, when he asks Elio to call him by his name, frames the postcard of Monet’s Berm, writes the inscription, “Cor Cordium,” follows Elio’s career, invites Elio to share his favorite moment, asks him if he would start again, and comes to Elio, during yet another summer, now another man, twenty years later, but not unlike Rip Van Winkle waking from a coma/parallel life. Elio silently implores Oliver:

“I stopped for a second. If you remember everything, I wanted to say, and if you are really like me, then before you leave tomorrow, or when you’re just ready to shut the door of the taxi, and have already said goodbye to everyone else and there’s not a thing left to say in this life, then, just this once, turn to me, which would have meant everything to me when we were together, and, as you did back then, look me in the face, hold my gaze, and call me by your name.”

But like everything else, Oliver has already answered. “I remember everything.”

In that remembering, everything is prefigured: the coma, the memory, the joy, the return, the open remembrance, the abandon to a feeling that is as eternal as their Star of David. I understood, finally, what wasn’t written in the pages, what wasn’t laid out but must be understood by the reader, the reader who has followed the trail of crumbs to reach this point together with Elio and Oliver. It will be a different summer from the one that brought them together the first time. But Oliver did not come to Elio in winter or fall, but in the heat of an Italian summer, the dream coming full circle.

Oliver will, one way or another, call Elio by his name.

tl;dr – Elio and Oliver have the possibility of a happy resolution, after all.

#analysis #call me by your name #cmbyn book #cmbyn #cmbyn movie #call me by your name movie #oliver x elio #elio x oliver #ending #resolution #i remember everything #armie hammer #timothée chalamet #timothee chalamet #elio perlman #oliver #sorry this is so insanely long #but I've been nursing this egg for a while now

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