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#by now it was no longer subtext right? we all agreed on that?
venusofvolterra · 1 year
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I have a question for you based on your headcanon on Demetri. I'm sorry if you've answered this already though in previous posts. I wanted to know the relationship dynamic between Demetri and Felix. Obviously, you've stated that Demetri would be a toxic partner, but how does that bleed into his relations with others (especially Felix)? Felix is pretty levelheaded and grounded so he would know and identify his behaviour, right? How do you view their relationship, the bond and the healthiness of it all? Does he have any boundaries with Demetri? Does Felix address his behaviourisms and trauma with Him, and keep him in line in a brotherly way or turn a blind eye? personally, I doubt Felix would stay completely silent if Demetri did perse get a mate and was manipulative, toxic (even emotionally abusive?) to them.
and how do Felix and Demetri maintain a stable and somewhat healthy bond? Because, in all honesty, I doubt you could stay friends with someone for over 1000 years if the relationship was utterly toxic.
if you don't answer questions right now, feel free to delete this, I just wanted your take on it! I hope you're having a great week though, Lovely xx
(that was longer than I anticipated, sorry)
Thanks for the question anon! My week has been okay but I hope yours is lovely!
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This is quit a long ask so I’m gonna break it down into pieces that I think will help us understand some of my thoughts/HC regarding this.
On human/vampire relationships in general:
It’s important to understand first that I do think with the way that it is written in Twilight it is virtually impossible for there to be a healthy relationship between a vampire and a human. 
From the pheromones, to the strength, to the clear power imbalances any human would have in a relationship with a member of the Volturi guard, there is simply no advantage a human would have over either Felix or Demetri.
On Felix’s character:
I would also like to reiterate that Felix is not necessarily a good person. He might be very protective of those he cares about but doing his duties require at the very least indifference to the value of life and most likely even some enjoyment for what he does. In book canon, he makes several off color comments about killing Bella and about her looks.
Also Felix eats people guys. I know we all love him and have very fanciful ideas about him as a mate but realistically, he’s probably not interested in having a human mate long term and is probably eager to turn them.
Many of those power imbalances that make a relationship with a vampire unequal are very much present in a relationship with Felix — maybe even more so.
That said, I think you’re right to point out that he wouldn’t go out of his way to add to it but I can’t pretend Felix is free of these behaviors entirely.
On Demetri’s character:
I’ve expressed in this post how I see Demetri as being particularly sadistic. While I stand by that, even if he is more sadistic than some members of the Volturi/guard he’s not the most sadistic.
If his behavior somehow was too much for the Volturi he simply wouldn’t be in it. Ergo, it’s not. So while it isn’t exactly how Felix would behave, he has no qualms.
I also see Demetri as someone who would be controlling in a relationship. This is mostly because once again, he does not want his mate to stay human very long and will do whatever it takes to get them to agree to the change.
If we’re getting into some of my personal Demetri lore, some of this is left over anxiety following the death of his wife as a human. Despite that human memories tend to fade for vampires over time, I imagine core parts of their psychology at the time of turning stay relatively cemented (this is a hc to make the memory thing make more sense bc it really wouldn’t work given modern psychology). Thus, while he may not remember the details of why he reacts this way, he does.
It is also within the subtext of canon that the Volturi expect new vampires to cut off all their previous friends and family — I can’t imagine it’s any different for their own mates.
On Felix and Demetri’s relationship:
Simply put, they don’t really have that same toxicity between them — logistically there isn’t reason for there to be.
As it goes for them, they’re pretty much on equal footing. They rank similarly, they’re both vampires, they both have the same goals, and anyone they loved as a human is long dead.
Anything that might bog down a human friendship, like for example, significant time spent apart, isn’t a big deal for vampires — especially ones as old as them.
I do think Felix might stick up a bit for a vampire mate of Demetri’s if he was being unfair but even his own kings keep their wives drugged up in a tower, so he might sympathize to some extent with wanting to protect your mate to the nth degree even if he’s not in agreement with it. It all depends on the specific situation.
TLDR; what we consider moral/amoral and abusive in relationships doesn’t fully translate to vampires. They’re inherently kind of toxic and amoral so they have their own entirely separate understandings of those things.
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Alrighty! I hope that answers some of questions about my interpretations of Felix and Demetri, let me know if you have any further ponderings!
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andmaybegayer · 1 year
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Project “Let’s watch every single Fast & Furious movie”
The series is still finding its feet and not entirely sure what it wants to be. It has however decided that this one should contain a truly incredible amount of homoerotic subtext.
2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
We check back in with Brian, who is street racing for a living in Miami now that he is no longer a cop. Ludacris, is here, for some reason. The FBI show up and put our boy over a barrel until he helps them investigate another crime ring, with his car.
The cinematography and general visual language is much more mature, they've figured out how to shoot cars driving and in particular races in a way that better conveys relative position, advantage, and speed. No more undercranked footage, much more medium to wide shots of cars weaving past each other, as well as some complicated composited motion shots.
If you look for this movie on Tumblr you mostly find gifs of Devon Aoki in her girlboss pink Honda S2000. And yeah, I get it, this look kicks ass. The leather skirt and thigh highs with garters or whatever that is really screams 2003.
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Right, the plot. Even more so than last time, the core plot is extremely mid. Brian is over a barrel, and needs to help the FBI investigate a drug lord, in exchange for them forgetting about him. He doesn't trust a cop to partner with him so he gets them to offer a deal to his old boyfriend Roman, with whom he had a falling out many years ago. The two of them go undercover smuggling money for the drug lord and eventually work through their differences and get the guy. Big whoop.
Far more interesting is how the interpersonal relationship of Brian and Roman is handled. These two feel like a couple who dated all through high school and broke up over a nasty disagreement when they were 19 and never really got over each other. The first time they meet they physically throw down and it looks like this.
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Just straight guy things. I made a crack about 2 bi 2 curious in the last post and I was like "someone has to have made this joke before" and a) not really it looks like only a couple tweets but b) it led me to this short video essay on a bisexual reading of 2 Fast 2 Furious. I don't agree with all its finer points and I think the author completely misread some sections of the movie but you'll find far more agreement than disagreement from me with this one.
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Carrying on, there's a lot of the awkward "I want to trust you, and I know I should be able to trust you, but I don't trust you" between these two. It's great, if you want to watch two very pretty guys go insane over each other for an hour and a half, this is a movie for you. I'm going to reiterate a lot of what's said in this video because it's all very obvious.
Before we continue, I need to note that what you don't see, oddly, is really any kind of coherent heterosexual romantic subplot. Like, there's one there, they do parts of it, but it's almost homeopathic. It's purely there to check the box. Monica is an undercover cop who's been with the drug lord for like a year and, in theory, Brian is attracted to her. There's discussion of this, he checks her out, they make bedroom eyes at each other, the drug lord gets jealous, it's a whole thing, but mostly you see that Roman is worried that Brian is going to do something stupid because he's attracted to her.
In the above video the author misinterprets one scene as Brian sleeping with Monica but they do not actually fuck! She shows up in the early morning to tell Brian that he's going to be betrayed but they do not, in fact, fuck! This is important to me because man, there's so little of that subplot going on. This subplot barely develops at all, they don't talk to each other much, and when they do it's only the barest flirting.
At one point Brian does a driving stunt to impress Monica and when he's done, Roman pulls up and goes "oh, he did that stunt? He learned that one from me." which. Come on there's no way to read that that doesn't at least suggest that maybe Roman did it to hit on Brian when they were younger.
Speaking of car stunts, those are used to convey character a lot better in this movie. Dishonorable side characters drive in annoying ways in races to make themselves hard to pass, Brian and Roman do a whole elaborate game of one-upsmanship during their driving audition for the drug lord, and a doubles drag race with high stakes serves as a major bonding moment where they learn to trust each other. There's much, much less plot and character going on explicitly but I think the photography and the storytelling are working together more closely in this movie.
The movie seems to care less about the cars themselves though. The Lancer and Eclipse they drive for much of the movie are not particularly attractive nor particularly powerful cars, and the Challenger and Camaro they pick up later are more plot device than eye candy, unless you're really into American Muscle I guess. The initial race includes Suki's S2000 and Brian's Skyline that both very quickly end up sidelined, you don't see much of them again. There is much less time spent in garages and at races here, which is part of why the core plot feels like a lot of other action movies where the protagonist is a criminal helping the cops. I wonder if some of this is down to appealing to a wider audience who may just not give a shit about the finer distinctions between the Honda Civic EF and EX hatch.
There's a beautiful sunset scene where Brian and Roman just talk it out for a few minutes and settle their differences, come to terms, and finally trust each other again. I know I'm pretty much only talking about this one relationship but it's pretty much the only part of the movie with any depth, and the other parts only gain value in their proximity to it.
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The final sequence is a huge endurance run across Florida that is a lot of fun to watch and includes a very funny scene where they scramble like, a hundred cars as a distraction to throw the police off. If you watch you can see that they really just grabbed whatever cars they could find to pad out the shot, there's like three or four PT Cruisers hidden in here.
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The final run is mostly a show of the reformed trust between these two, it's great, it's a decent culmination of what's been building up through the whole show, they get their freedom, together, and resolve to move on together.
The whole movie really hangs on this relationship, it elevates it from a solid 5/10 "absolutely mid action movie" to a 7/10 "compelling characters you will think about later" type deal.
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andmineisyellow · 1 year
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This is what I would like to see happen with Garcia and Garvez in the finale (which means it won’t):
Elias gets arrested and the case starts wrapping up. Emily pulls Garcia aside and essentially tells her, “You need to sign these documents in an agreement to cut off all ties with Tyler Green or I’m sorry but I have to terminate you and you can no longer have contact with any other FBI member involved in the investigation. I’ll give you till the end of the day to think about it.”
Garcia leaves the office initially unsure of what to do. She goes to visit Tyler in the hospital and he says, “Honestly, I thought the consequences would be worse than that. But this is good right? I mean, you never wanted to come back to the FBI in the first place. We can be together.” At first, Garcia kind of agrees with him. He starts building this nice little fantasy for what her life would be like without the FBI. “And I know you care about your co-workers- well, most of them- but...”
For just a moment Garcia is broken out of the fantasy. “What are you talking about?”
And then Tyler absolutely screws up and makes a slight at Luke. It’s not particularly cruel. In fact, it’s probably something Garcia herself has said to Luke previously. But it’s the way Tyler says it that makes Garcia’s smile fall into a furious frown.
“Don’t you ever talk about him that way. Ever.”
Tyler is confused because he thought he was joking. Just like the way he’s heard her joke about Luke. The next thing he knows Garcia is listing every wonderful thing about Luke that she can think of in order to defend him. That’s when it dawns on Tyler.
“You know, I think you just made your decision, Penelope.”
And Garcia realizes that she has as well. She tells everyone that the reason she decided to stay was because she couldn’t live without her BAU family, which is true. She’s also not quite ready to confront the fact that she still has feelings for Luke. Garcia just overcomplicated a case because of an inappropriate workplace relationship, she knows she can’t risk doing that a second time, especially not to Emily. And she’s not even sure Luke would still feel the same way after three years. But she does go apologize to Luke and she does acknowledge that perhaps she’s taken him for granted.
Luke is Luke of course, and he doesn’t even think the apology is necessary, but he appreciates her being so honest and open with him. The scene ends with Luke almost about to leave only for him to turn around and say sweetly, “You know, you’re kind of my best friend.”
And she replies, “You’re kind of mine too.” And then she whispers, “Don’t tell Derek I said that,” to which Luke laughs. The subtext here is of course that they are in love. The timing just isn’t right for either of them to be ready to admit it. Being best friends is okay for now. It’s better than okay. They’ve gotten good at playing the long game.
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thessalian · 7 months
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Thess vs Far-Right MPs
Apparently some of the very far right-leaning Tory MPs are bitching about Suella Braverman being sacked, saying that Sunak is "turning his back on the voters who gave the Tories their majority in 2019". Which ... well, that's a stupid thing to say for a lot of reasons.
First of all, this is not what the Tory majority of 2019 was about. That shit-show was about Boris Johnson having made himself The Face Of Brexit during the run-up to the referendum, and people thinking that since he was so much for it, he could keep all the promises that he, Farage, and the ERG were making about it. (Narrator's note: they could not, and did not.)
Second of all, none of Braverman's talking points were on the table in 2019, beyond Brexit. Please keep in mind the list of things that Suella Braverman has done and said the last little while:
Calling the Human Rights Act the "Criminal Rights Act" and being a big part of the push to get the UK to leave the European Court of Human Rights.
This she did largely to fulfil her "dream and obsession" of sending refugees to Rwanda, which is very much illegal in a human rights sense.
Her entire take on refugees (or, as she puts it, "illegal migrants"). This includes: "Look, the threat of being arrested or executed for being LGBTQ is not a good reason to refugee out of a country so if you're here because your country hates gay people, we want to send you back there" (subtext: because we don't really like you people either), and "We want to be able to lock pregnant women and unaccompanied minors up for more than 72 hours if they managed to get here and we caught them".
Oh, let's not forget the recent "Multiculturalism Has Failed" thing. Lady, not only are you distinctly Not White, and also first-generation British, but you took advantage of the Erasmus programme (which used to help British people study abroad, which we can now no longer be in because fucking Brexit) and studied at the Sorbonne for years. You are a self-confessed devout Francophile. There is no way in hell you can start preaching about British values and multiculturalism having failed, you silly moo. Imagine going from an Erasmus-sponsored programme to study in France and then join the ERG, which is terrifyingly anti-EU.
She recently referred to homelessness as a "lifestyle choice", and was all for imposing fines on charities who donate tents to people sleeping rough. Thankfully none of this made it into the proposed King's Speech, but it was still very prominent in the headlines.
She's been the main force behind the continued criminalisation of protest in this country. She actively tried to get police to ban pro-Palestine protests this weekend just gone, citing "It's disrespectful to the Armistice Day events and they might damage the Cenotaph!" This despite the fact that the pro-Palestine protests agreed to not go anywhere near the Cenotaph. Anyway, the London Metropolitan Police stood their ground and refused to deny people the right to peaceful protest, and Sunak rolled his eyes and sighed but agreed that their current Human Rights Act did allow for that sort of thing, and the only people around the Cenotaph were the ultra-right, who mostly used it and the surrounding areas as a toilet as they tried to "protect" the Cenotaph from "a wave of destructive tofu-eating wokerati" (Braverman's own words to describe the left) who never actually arrived.
Which brings us to why Braverman was sacked in the first place, and the pro-Braverman MPs really should shut up when it comes to this one. See, sometimes MPs will write editorials for newspapers, stating their views. After the London Met stood their ground and let pro-Palestine protests happen in London on Armistice Day, Braverman wrote a piece for the Times about the whole thing, accusing the London Met of discriminating against "good British people" (read: the ultra-right) by being more forceful with them than with protests from "folks like Just Stop Oil etc, "lefty" causes, and calling the pro-Palestine protests "hate marches". The thing is, when MPs write editorials for the paper, they go to 10 Downing Street to get vetted, to ensure that they're not going against the party line or getting too ... erm ... confrontational, I guess? Well, Braverman's little editorial was deemed too confrontational and too much against the party line (summed up as, "I guess we can't technically prevent you from peaceful protest since we're still with the ECHR..."), so they came back to her with changes she was supposed to make to the editorial. She did not make those changes, and sent out her frothing, Trump-speak editorial as written. I don't care how pro-Braverman these MPs are, they have to understand that if you ignore a directive from your party leader and Prime Minister, your job is at risk. She fucked around one time too many, and she found out.
And yet the pro-Braverman crowd are still baying, calling the PM "Suicide Sunak" and lamenting things like Johnson being forced to resign over shit like throwing massive parties during Covid lockdown when people couldn't even attend their families' funerals. I don't know if there's enough of those to make a difference, given as how reading too much of their froth makes me sick. Which means I don't know if there's a chance that, assuming the Tories lose the next general election (2024-2025, I think? Sunak's going to try to put it off as long as possible, particularly given that he knows as much as anyone that the odds of the Tories losing the next general election are very, very good), Braverman might get the Tory party leadership after Sunak's done.
If she does...
Well, if she does, I've probably got about five years of safety before I have to start really worrying because of her keen desire to throw human rights out the window in favour of extreme boomerang bigotry and the kind of hypocrisy that I can barely even describe. But I can't believe that her views are so palatable to enough of the general public to make her an actual contender for the party leadership. ...Probably because I still have some tiny shred of faith in humanity. Which may be displaced, but to believe otherwise is to be in a worse mental health place than I can afford right now.
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lailyn · 1 year
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A Face In The Crowd, Ch 6
Mobius' swift return was met with both relief and disbelief; to their collective surprise, Judge Renslayer had given the go ahead without so much as an argument. 
“How in the world did you get Renslayer to say yes?” Vincent asked suspiciously. 
“Nice to know you had so much confidence in me, Doc,” Mobius said. “Bargaining is a tool y’all need to learn. It comes in handy sometimes.”
“You bargained, huh?" Vincent snorted. "What did you give away? Hope you didn’t offer her a kidney or something.”
“Nah, I’m saving up Loki’s kidneys for hopefully something bigger in the future,” Mobius said coolly. “All she wants is a front seat to the whole thing.”
Vincent’s eyebrows rose to meet his hairline. “She wants to watch me at work? That’s new.”
“I didn’t even have to twist her arm," Mobius said with a shrug. "She just said to knock yourself out. Maybe she’s warming up to you at last. You have given us some good results in the past.”
“Well, it is about time I get some recognition for my genius,” Vincent agreed wholeheartedly.
“You don’t look too happy,” Mobius said, finally noticing the frown on Loki’s face. 
“I find it a bit suspect how easily it went, that’s all,” Loki said. “Do you think it’s a good idea to have her sit in?” 
“It’s not like we have a lot of say in the matter,” Mobius said. “And this wouldn't be the first time we’ve allowed the prisoners temporary access to their powers.” 
“That is true, we do it sometimes for research purposes,” Vincent said, backing up Mobius’ claim. “And your magic will be limited to the manipulation of basic physiological parameters, like your internal homeostasis and thermoregulation to name a few so you can adapt to the harsh environment you’d expect to encounter on Mount Everest.”
Loki made a sound of dismay. “Are you serious?”
“We’re not a bunch of idiots, Loki,” Mobius said. "Giving you full rein of your magic when the last Variant who executed a spectacular jailbreak happened to be a Loki? It's never gonna happen."
"I don't know if I should feel proud or insulted," Loki muttered.
"How about grateful? This is your chance to get into the TVA's good graces," Mobius said. “Pull this off and maybe we’ll keep you around.”
"Grateful," Loki echoed in a voice dripping with sarcasm. "How very kind of you to say that, when I'm the one doing you a favour."
"I'm always grateful for you, Loki," Mobius said with an easy smile. "Thanks to you, I will always have a job."
_________________________________
“I’ve seen this before.”
“Looks familiar, doesn’t it?” Vincent said. “We lifted the design off the detention cell on board the Helicarrier. You know, the one you trapped your dear brother in. You should feel right at home.”
Loki knocked on the glass lightly with his knuckles. “Will it hold?"
"It's an upgraded version. We've used it to subdue a Thor variant or two. If it could contain your brother, I'm sure it could contain you," Vincent said absently. 
“Your taunts do not bother me,” Loki said, though his glare clearly said otherwise. “Get in with me, if you dare.”
Vincent’s smile turned savage. “That sounds like a proposition.”
“Mobius was right,” Loki said flatly. “You work too much. You see subtext in everything.”
“Word of advice, we don’t project our loneliness here at the TVA, Loki.”
Loki snorted loudly, but said nothing.
"Talking about my work, I do not see it as a flaw. I see it as having a purpose," Vincent said. "Without purpose, what good are we?"
"Having a purpose is important when you have a short shelf life, I suppose. It doesn't really apply to me, I'm either going to die very soon, or live longer than any of you."
Ever the reader between the lines, Vincent proceeded to ask, "Are you afraid?"
"Of dying?" 
"How very simplistic," Vincent said. "Let's not kid ourselves. You meant to die when you took that arrow."
The silence that followed stretched the seconds into painful minutes, poignant and heavy.
"Does Mobius know?" Loki asked quietly.
"He does now," Vincent said. "I told him."
Loki remained unusually impassive. "Of course you did." 
Vincent let out a frustrated sigh, earning him a sharp look from Loki. 
"You’re being really annoying right now," Loki growled. "Spit it out, why don’t you? What are you trying to imply?" 
"Appreciate being alive? Just a suggestion,” Vincent said.
What followed was another soul-crushing pause of agonising silence.
"How can I, Doctor?" Loki questioned gently. "I lack purpose."
"That's not true," Vincent said swiftly. "Purpose doesn't have to be altruistic or life-defining. It can be as simple as wanting to live another day to listen to your favourite song or engage in banter with your sworn enemy."
"Something to live for, one day at a time."
"That's exactly right."
"That is so sad," Loki said. He pressed his face against the impenetrable glass barrier again, but this time there was a fire in his expression that had not been there before.
"You just found one, didn't you?"
"Yes," Loki said, eyes glinting with excitement. "I'm going to burn this place to the ground."
Vincent nodded nonchalantly as though he had been expecting such an answer all along. "Start with my office. I've been asking for an ergonomic work desk for ages."
_____________________________________
The day of the experiment could not come soon enough, but now, standing inside the temperature chamber with so many eyes watching, Loki could feel his confidence waver. 
His reluctance must be written all over his face, for Mobius to see it from where he was observing up on the viewing deck.
"You survived the cold of outer space, this should be an easy ride for you." Mobius' voice crackled through the intercom.
"For the millionth time, it is not the temperature that is the problem, it is altitude," Vincent muttered. "I pray for the day when communicating scientific concepts to non-science people stops being so tedious."
"Can we proceed?" Judge Renslayer's razor-sharp voice cut in. "Some of us don't have all day."
"Let the record show this is Doctor Vincent Strange, Personnel Number S616, Chief Medical Officer of the TVA. I will be overseeing the High Altitude Simulation Study today on subject Variant L1130." Vincent looked at the silent figure sitting cross-legged in the cell. "L1130, do you consent?"
Loki rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath, "Now you ask me."
"Od - " Vincent caught himself, acutely aware of the distrustful eyes watching his every move. "Laufeyson."
"Yes, yes, I consent," Loki said, waving a hand. "Not that it matters."
"He likes to talk, this one," Mobius said, amused. 
Ravonna's reply was hostile and sinister. "He won't be talking for long. Doctor Strange, get on with it."
"Aye, aye, Ma'am," Vincent sighed. He cleared his throat loudly. "It is now fourteen hundred Sacred Timeline time, and the test will commence - ” he pressed the start button. “Now.”
Frigid air and snow blew in through the vents into the chamber, and the atmospheric pressure began to drop with each increment on the altimeter.
It did not take long before the first signs of hypothermia set in. Ice clung to Loki's eyelashes and hair, and the tips of his fingers as well as his nose turned an alarming dusky colour.
Vincent spoke into the intercom, "How are you doing, L1130?"
"P-peachy," Loki managed a laugh despite shivering uncontrollably. "How is it l-looking from all the way down there?"
"Your body core temperature has now decreased by 15%. You should be feeling it in a minute or two."
"Oh, I am feeling it right now," Loki gritted through chattering teeth. He tried coaxing his ice magic to life, but it was like attempting to swim against a rip current; the more he tried to get to the shore, the further the tide pulled him out to sea. 
Vincent silently counted the rise and fall of Loki's chest. "Respiratory rate is elevated at sixty breaths per minute."
"There is still time," Ravonna purred.
Vincent could hear the smile in her voice, and it sickened him to the core. He tried again. "Judge Renslayer, the subject's oxygenation saturation is approaching hypoxic level, you have to deactivate the limiters now."
Loki's face twisted in agony as he clenched his chest, vapour escaping from his blue-tinged lips with each desperate gasp for breath. 
As his lungs began to fill with fluid, blood frothed at the corner of his mouth. He banged his fist against the glass, growing visibly weaker with each passing second.
Vincent could see Mobius yelling at Renslayer, gesticulating wildly with his hands, but the judge simply stood with a smug smile on her face. 
This was a power struggle, one that Renslayer was clearly winning.
Hanging onto the last tethers of consciousness, Loki peered through the glass, and his glazed eyes met Vincent's. 
Gone was the centuries worth of pain and fury that personified Loki from the day they met. All that remained was sadness, and…fear.
Are you afraid of dying?
It was only then that Vincent realised, he never did hear the answer from Loki's mouth. 
I don't want to go, the watery green eyes pleaded, Not like this.
It was warm outside the chamber, but Vincent felt the chill all the same, collecting at the base of his spine like an icy finger running down his back. 
Loki's eyes fluttered to a close.
Through a haze of red and muffled voices, Vincent threw himself over the controls and his fingers flew over the keys, entering the codes required to bring the experiment to a halt.
The howling gales persisted despite his frantic commands, and Loki's vital signs continued to plummet. 
As the blaring of the alarms reached a deafening clamour, Vincent looked up at the observation window, where Ravonna was standing, gloating. 
Mobius was no longer by her side; he must have made his way down by now. True enough, the sounds of banging and shouting from the door soon joined the cacophony.
There was only one thing left to do. If Vincent could not bring the wretched experiment to a halt…he could override the magic limiters. He knew the codes, being one of the handful of people in the TVA who did.
Yes, he could return Loki's magic, and ensure that one of them would live. 
After this stunt, there was no way Vincent would not pay with his life.
What are you doing? He screamed internally.
Primum non nocere. Do no harm.
Loki was unconscious now, his frostbitten digits twitching in the artificial snow.
Vincent pressed his hand onto the palm print reader, authorisation from the higher ups be damned -
The collar around Loki's neck disengaged, and the detention cell imploded in a burst of bright green light.  
__________________________________
"Mobius…"
"Shhh. Don't try to speak." Mobius pressed the oxygen mask over Loki's face, "Just breathe."
"Vincent?"
"Vincent's been...detained."
Loki's bruised lungs seized at the news, and a series of painful, wet coughs wracked his body.
"I'll take care of it." Mobius' soft tone hardened. "I'll take care of it."
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meetmeatthecoda · 2 years
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Okay Coda, don't be upset with me because I do believe in lizzington 100%... but I've been seeing some very convincing rederina theories.
The thing is, I think each writer has yanked our (the viewers) attention multiple directions except maybe Bokenkamp. He seems lizzington deep down. Anyway, while rederina could be plausible, I can't reconcile the romantic insinuations and comments from Red and even from Liz......... and Aram, and Ressler, and the knowing and LOUD expressions from Samar with her quiet lips. I think Cooper has had questions and thoughts... as have countless blacklisters.
Help Coda, I'm so confused 😕 I don't even watch the show anymore. I haven't gone past early/mid season 6 if that far.
Also, um, what ya been up to? 🙃 Not to discount your life away from Tumblr and ao3, but I'm excited about reading new content! 😄😁
Hi there, anon!! 😍 Awww, I could never be upset with you, my friend, not to worry!! Besides, I fully understand what it's like to feel conflicted over this show... I think we've definitely all been there!! 🤗 I'm very touched you're coming to me with these feelings & I'm happy to share my thoughts on the topic!! I hope maybe they can bring you a little bit of peace!! Also, I'm going to put them under a read more cause we all know how I get when asked about R*derina 😂 Okay, here we go:
So. These theories & whatnot that you're worried about don't bother me at all because, simply put? The writers lost all credibility when they killed Liz. And, if you ask me, the best part about not watching the show anymore? We don't have to pay attention to what they're doing now! And let's be real, they went off the reservation a long time ago. That's reason enough for me to not consider anything they say or do now to be canon, especially not in the context of the whole story, & especially given that they no longer have the original creator (Bokencamp, who - I agree with you - always seemed team Lizzington to me) or literally half of the original cast. And you're absolutely right, there's so much undeniable proof for - at the very least - a STRONG, STRONG case for Lizzington - I mean, everything you listed, the looks, the comments, the subtext, the filming, the FUCKING PILOT SCRIPT - that to me, the bottom line is: If they can turn their back on their original endgame, then we can turn our backs on the retconned one. And yeah, some people might say that I'm only ignoring the canon that I don't like & doesn't support my ship which is UnTrUe To ThE sHoW or AgAiNsT fAnDoM rULeS or some shit & hey, that may be. But you know what? I'm fine with that. Because it's all fictional media & media is meant for entertainment & escaping from real life. And the best part about escapism in the form of fictional media? If it doesn't spark joy, then you can throw it the fuck out!!! And R*derina don't spark no joy for Coda 🙃🙃🙃 So... fuck 'em, honestly ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ But yeah, my strategy is simply "assume anything that doesn't check out with previous canon is a retcon & therefore inadmissible in the fandom court of shipping laws." I don't know if that helps at all, anon, but I hope it does, especially since you're not watching the show anymore, just like me & many of us surviving Lizzington shippers!! I would simply recommend not worrying about the crap they've spewed past season 8 7 6 3A - even if they try to confirm R*derina in the end - & instead enjoy the Lizzington proof & moments & beauty we were graced with while it lasted. Sometimes straight-up denial & sticking to your beliefs are the way to go 🥲🥲
Other that ^THAT^ lol, I've been quite well, thank you for asking, dear anon!! 🥰 And might I add that I so appreciate your respect for my #real life away from tumblr & AO3 bc - as irritating as it can be - I do have one LOL & it can get busy just like everyone else's, of course, & idk, I just really appreciated the way you worded that, so thank you so much 🥰🥰🥰 To answer your question in unspecific terms, I'm currently starting the process of going back to music school after a pandemic/personal health break to do some post-grad work. But, of course, a musician's life is not an easy one & the process takes time - especially after a break like I've had - so it's slow-going at the moment... But I'm chugging along with it & excited to get back to my passion of making music!! 😊 And, of course, I'm hoping to have more time to write in the coming days as I settle into a hopefully more productive real life routine, & bc I know I will need the stress relief of fic. I'm very excited to get down to work on Halcyon & hopefully bring you new content as soon as possible!! And of course I'm so flattered that you're looking forward to it!! Granted, it will be a while... I have just under 12k so far with just the beginning bits & my outline is only growing... sooo I think it's safe to say this will be my longest, most ambitious fic project to date. But I certainly hope it will be worth the wait - for both you & me!! 😂 Anyway, I think I've blabbed on for long enough, so the only thing left is to thank you so much for your kind & lovely ask!! I hope my response did something to help you feel a little better about things & I promise to have new Lizzington fic out as soon as I can!! Thank you again, sweet anon, & much, much love to you always, my friend!! 😍🥰❤️
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k-wame · 2 years
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хєnα & gαвríєllє ín 'mαnч hαppч rєturns' (2001) хєnα: wαrríσr príncєss · s6·є19
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vidavalor · 3 years
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I love what conspicuously *isn't* in TFATWS' post-field scene dialogue...
I'm such a fan of how the dialogue at the end of the roll-in-the-field scene in TFATWS involves Sam & Bucky talking about how they just fought super soldiers because of how it then affects the next scene we see them in, when they're walking up the road and they... aren't talking about that shocking development really at all.
Bucky says to Sam in the field that the people they fought were all super soldiers and Sam agrees but the conversation on the walk up the road then isn't like:
Sam: So, about the super soldiers, Bucky. What do you think? Who were they trained by? Who made the serum? etc etc
Sam gives exactly zero fucks about the fact that this mission to find these Flag Smasher people and figure out what to do about Walker now involves the group being super soldiers out of absolute nowhere because if he was shocked by this or really terribly concerned about it, he'd be talking about it non-stop. Instead, what's Sam doing?
Sam is flirting with Bucky.
Sam's reaction to having just fought four super soldiers is that they can probably take them if they have to, no problem, they're safe enough, they have each other. Sam knows he himself is very capable in a fight but the part of him that feels vulnerable and human at times feels safe after this because he knows he has a super soldier in his camp too and trusts Bucky to protect him.
The funniest thing to me though is how Sam and Bucky, even in the midst of having been separated for awhile ahead of TFATWS and their attempts at wooing one another a bit in the first episodes... how they're in a place with one another that they don't have to have this big conversation about the truly shocking thing that just happened, in terms of the super soldiers. Instead, Sam is more concerned about with what Bucky's thinking, in terms of the *other* big thing, which is actually the whole rolling in the field thing, which is what the walk conversation is then about.
We already know what Bucky was thinking about the super soldiers because he told Sam in the field and Sam doesn't pick up the thread again on the walk along the side of the road but he really, really wants to know what's going on in Bucky's cyborg brain.
The gears are turning, Sam can see them! Oh, they're on fire...
Bucky dryly kind-of-jokes that his brain is "computing" but it's clearly not computing the fact that they just fought a bunch of super soldiers-- it's already computed that. He's computing Sam saving him.
Bucky is computing Sam having spent the morning flirting with him and trying to protect him as much as Bucky's been trying to protect Sam. He's computing Sam seeing him struggle on the truck and not thinking twice about helping him, without judgement, and then smiling/laughing while pulling him closer atop him in a flower field before jokingly telling him to get off him, only to rest an unnecessary hand on his shoulder, just to be close.
He's computing risk/reward analysis of deciding he's in a place to accept Sam's advances-- hell, of even accepting that they are real and not just what he might want to see. Bucky gets quiet in response to that kind of thought. Sam talks and talks and talks and hides his nervousness beneath teasing but he hears the soft "it's computing" and takes it for what it is, which is acknowledgement that Bucky sees what Sam is saying and doing and he's not quite ready to go there yet but he's not at all disinterested. It's not a rejection, it's not even a 'maybe', really-- it's just a request for slowness and time to process that Sam, in no rush himself, is more than willing to grant.
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Sam's dialogue in this scene, translated from the subtext:
"Oh, I am *more* than interested, Old Man. Whenever you're no longer at a point where you think you might murder me in your sleep, I am *game*.... and also completely terrified, lonely, traumatized and touch-starved so imagine the level of hot I'm gonna get in three episodes, when you jump from being my amusingly surly best friend who gives me heart eyes and makes me feel safe to that plus starting to help me fix things and trying to cuddle me? Only you are gonna do for me, White Wolf. *starts acapella singing "Right Here Waiting for You"*...."
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sendouakira · 3 years
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A comprehensive essay on the effects of Sakuragi Hanamichi on Rukawa Kaede from Slam Dunk
 Over the years, there have been quite a few rivalries portrayed in great detail between “dual protagonists” from famous shounen manga. Yet the relationship between Sakuragi Hanamichi and Rukawa Kaede from the most influential sports manga Slam Dunk was and still is regarded as “the gold standard” for this particular type of dynamic. However, as great as the bond that these two share, it’s puzzling that there seems to be a greater focus on the impact that Rukawa has on Sakuragi. I have read some analyses that even claim “Rukawa, at best, thinks of Sakuragi as a really hard-to-get-along-with teammate,” or that, “Sakuragi only helps Rukawa build better teamwork to some extent”. 
In this essay, my goal is to explore the natural progress of the relationship between these dual protagonists as well as the apparent development and growth of Rukawa Kaede as a character after he meets Sakuragi Hanamichi. For the purpose of this essay, I will focus only on Rukawa Kaede’s perspective as the effects that Rukawa has on Sakuragi deserve another essay entirely. 
The first thing that we all need to agree is that, we, as readers, rarely have a chance to know what exactly Rukawa is thinking. Even when he does open his mouth, he has nothing but nasty things to say which may make him look detached and distant (minus very few instances when he actually encourages Sakuragi). We always get a glimpse of other characters’ internal turmoil, their struggles and emotions such as Mitsui’s regret, Akagi’s memories, or Sendou’s plan. But Rukawa is always this mysterious character who never truly reveals his thoughts and his intentions to the reader. This is precisely why he is often misunderstood as a cold person, or that the relationship between him and Sakuragi is overrated.  
If we look at the early dynamic between the two, we can see that  Rukawa indeed doesn’t care about Sakuragi. “An annoying teammate” is likely how he would describe Sakuragi. 
Slam Dunk chapter 20, when Sakuragi is learning how to do a layup shot, Rukawa shows annoyance as he is forced to teach Sakuragi the techniques. 
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If his senpai is not there, he would not lift a finger to help Sakuragi. 
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Similarly, he’s again put on the spot and has no choice but to teach Sakuragi how to defend in the practice match with Ryonan (Slam Dunk, chapter 43).
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Or in Kainan match, Rukawa instructs Sakuragi what to do as they are the first to arrive for defense. 
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Initially, Rukawa really has no interest in helping any of his teammates improve, let alone Sakuragi, even though he instinctively understands that the improvement of his teammates benefits him and Shohoku as a whole. 
In the early stage of Slam Dunk, Rukawa doesn’t have any regards for Sakuragi whatsoever, even if he does give Sakuragi guidance from time to time. The only reason he does it is because he’s forced to do so, and he only guides Sakuragi enough to help Shohoku win since he himself wants to win as well. 
So when does the shift in his attitude towards Sakuragi take place? In actuality, it’s a gradual, slow process. It starts with his encouragement for Sakuragi. Note that he doesn’t encourage anyone on his team. He may recognize other teammates’ abilities and talents but still, the only person who has this “privilege” is Sakuragi alone. 
Let’s take a look at the first scene that Rukawa gives Sakuragi encouragment in chapter 95, when Sakuragi is afraid of committing fouls in the match with Shoyo
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Even if you argue that, in this scene, he only does it because not being able to catch rebounds seriously hurts Shohoku’s chance to win against Shoyo, such words from Rukawa are profound and unprecedented since this is the first time Rukawa actually acknowledges out loud Sakuragi’s ability to catch rebounds. But what’s even more interesting is another scene from the match with Shoyo. 
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 While previously we saw Rukawa helping and encouraging Sakuragi just enough to help Shohoku win, the same interpretation doesn’t work here. Sakuragi is leaving the basketball court. What good does it do to encourage him now? In my opinion, this is the first time that Rukawa temporarily sets his ego aside to acknowledge Sakuragi’s talents, not just because he wants to win; but because Sakuragi deserves it. 
Then comes our most favourite scene between these two, when Rukawa “consoles” Sakuragi after Kainan loss. 
Again, we have no idea what Rukawa truly thinks. We only know that other Shohoku players never blame Sakuragi for passing the ball to Takasago of Kainan. 
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Let’s shift our focus to Inoue sensei’s intention of not showing Rukawa’s thoughts. It’s very clear that Rukawa is...planning something. The panel which shows his eyes only is subtext, and the underlying message is that Sakuragi is no longer the annoying teammate that he couldn’t care less about. Here, it is HIGHLIGHTED by Inoue sensei (Rukawa is being SINGLED OUT) in that one panel that he’s thinking about Sakuragi not showing up for practice.
We can only guess what’s going on in his mind at the time. Is Rukawa thinking about finding Sakuragi and confronting him about not coming to practice? I think not. A safer bet is that Rukawa is thinking about how to talk to Sakuragi about it, and the reason which leads me to believe so is this scene. 
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This is Haruko’s failed attempt to cheer Sakuragi up after the loss against Kainan. This scene is the key reason why she fails. She unintentionally confirms that it’s indeed his fault by saying, “even geniuses make mistakes sometimes.” Thus, Sakuragi is still stuck in the same thinking pattern that he is to blame. 
It takes Rukawa, who understands a newbie’s feelings and who previously thought carefully about what to say to Sakuragi to cheer him up. Rukawa knows Sakuragi still thinks it’s his responsibility that Shohoku loses against Kainan, therefore, the only way to get him out of that thinking pattern is for Rukawa to assume that responsibility. 
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I firmly believe that this scene shows that Rukawa really cares about Sakuragi as a teammate. Everything may look coincidental, that Rukawa happens to see Sakuragi in the locker room, that he arrogantly takes the blame for the Kainan loss which so happens to cheer Sakuragi up. But it’s only on the surface. Rukawa has now from this point on, grown to care about Sakuragi. 
The direct impact that Sakuragi has on Rukawa doesn’t stop here. Sakuragi always has his own way to rile Rukawa up like no one else can. We know that Rukawa loves challenges, and characters like Sendou Akira or Sawakita Eiji are the ones who can provoke Rukwa on the basketball court but it’s because Sendou or Sawakita are truly skilled players, so it is understandable that Rukawa would be provoked to go all out in order to defeat them. 
However, why does Rukawa go all out in a one-on-one game with Sakuragi back in chapter 191? Is it because Sakuragi is so arrogant that Rukawa wants to teach him a lesson? Is it because he takes basketball so seriously that he must always do his best?  Or maybe it’s his personality since Mitsui and Miyagi somehow know that he would not go easy on Sakuragi?
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Again, we never find out why Rukawa does the things he does. The narrative on his thoughts is always left out, silent, mysterious. What’s true is that unlike Sendou or Sawakita, Sakuragi doesn’t have skills on par with Rukawa in order to actually demand him to give it his all. It must be something else in Sakuragi that has this effect on Rukawa. 
There is another curious detail which I would like to point out. When Rukawa consults coach Anzai about his decision to go to the US, he is advised to stay in Japan to become the number 1 high school basketball player first before moving to the US. This matter is of Rukawa’s concern only, yet somehow Sakuragi is involved. 
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I have always asked myself this question. What does Sakuragi have anything to do with this? Actually, a better question is: why does Inoue sensei intentionally let Rukawa become aware that coach Anzai values Sakuragi as much as Rukawa himself? Not to mention that Sakuragi is never brought up in his conversation with coach Anzai, but Sendou is. 
Rukawa has shown us repeatedly that he’s actually impressed with Sakuragi’s raw potential, but this time is different. This is the first time Rukawa understands that in coach Anzai’s mind, the 2 of them are equal in terms of talents and it would be wrong to assume that Sakuragi is not regarded as highly as Rukawa himself. 
Back to the question above: why Rukawa goes all out with Sakuragi in that one-on-one game. Is it because of what coach Anzai’s wife reveals to him, Rukawa now truly sees Sakuragi in a new light? I find it interesting that right after Rukawa’s flashback in the two pictures above, we have the match between Rukawa and Sakuragi in which Rukawa shows no mercy. 
We will get back to this point later. Let’s move on to another important scene. 
In the death match with Sannoh, when Sakuragi is hurt, Rukawa is perhaps the first person to notice something is wrong (it’s not clear if coach Anzai notices if first or if it’s Rukawa). Either way, he actually knows something is not right even before Mito Yohei. 
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By the time Shohoku meets Sannoh, Sakuragi has been playing basketball for only 4 months. In the span of 4 months, Rukawa has learned enough about Sakuragi to notice Sakuragi’s small slip of concentration, as if he’s been watching Sakuragi play all along. 
Next, we have one of the clearest examples of how Rukawa truly feels about Sakuragi. 
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In this entire page, we see Sakuragi’s emotions, thought process, his flashbacks, and his gaze. But there is one panel that does not belong to his internal monologue: the closeup of Rukawa’s expression. I don’t think I have much to say about this panel. Rukawa’s worry is written all over his face. 
Of course, this is not the first time Rukawa shows his worried expression like this. When Akagi leaves the court in the match with Kainan (chapter 105), he also shows the same reaction. 
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Or when Mitsui collapses in the match with Ryonan (chapter 180).
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While it is shown that Rukawa is just as worried when other Shohoku regulars have to leave the court, it is important to note that he only shows this expression when an important player is hurt or injured. Rukawa may taunt Sakuragi for being a newbie, for looking clumsy; but just like Akagi or Mitsui, Sakuragi has earned this worried look from Rukawa as an important player in the Shohoku lineup. 
And even more than that, it’s also hinted that Rukawa seems to be the person who understands Sakuragi the most as a fellow athlete. 
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The scene in chapter 270 which shows Hanamichi gundan (his loyal friends, including Mito who is his best friend) understand that Sakuragi has made up his mind, that he will not be persuaded to do otherwise. 
And there is Rukawa who understands Sakuragi without the need for words. 
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Rukawa seems to know an aweful lot about Sakuragi, even more so than Mito Yohei when it comes to basketball. While everyone wants to convince Sakuragi not to come in, Rukawa is the only person that understands Sakuragi’s stubbornness without having to talk to him. 
Finally, the infamous scene in which Rukawa encourages Sakuragi for the last time. 
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At first glance, it seems that Rukawa is only encouraging Sakuragi here. But on the 9th reading of Slam Dunk(yes, I have actually read the manga 9 times), I suddenly realized it may be deeper than that. This scene takes place right after Rukawa gives Sakuragi a compliment on his desperate attempt to win against Rukawa in the one-on-one game (chapter 191), which is also around the time when Rukawa becomes aware that coach Anzai values both him and Sakuragi equally. 
I believe, this is not just encouragement. Here, Rukawa also indirectly acknowledges Sakuragi’s genius AND shows his willingness to pave the way for Sakuragi. He is no longer the person who is unwilling to guide Sakuragi, or to instruct him on the spot like what we saw above. After the suicidal save, Sakuragi has earned Rukawa’s respect and admiration as a fellow athlete. Rukawa now readily shows Sakuragi the way as long as he is willing to follow his examples. He always knows what’s best to do to cheer Sakuragi up or how to encourage him to keep going. He’s not the cold scoring machine that everyone hails him to be, but a caring teammate who understands Sakuragi well.
In conclusion, while it seems that Sakuragi has very little impact on Rukawa as a character, it’s actually the opposite. Rukawa rarely reveals his thoughts and intentions to anyone and initially, his method of communicating is unconventional in a sense that it always makes him look distant and detached. However, as the story progresses, Rukawa gradually becomes more sympathetic and caring towards Sakuragi. He shows his obvious admiration towards Sakuragi and eventually regards him as an equal. 
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fbfh · 3 years
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I think you've horribly misread the situation [shitty roommate pt 2] - leo x reader
wc: 2.3k
genre: contemporary drama, you're definitly going to get second hand embarrassment, cozy fluff
pairing: leo x reader, attempted isabella x leo
reader: gender neutral, they/them
requested: hell yeah
warnings: mild swearing, roommate tries to steal your man once again, mentions of various mainstream vampire media (twilight, the vampire diaries etc.), brief mention of castlevania (even though i haven't seen it yet lol), breif mention of videogames and assassins creed, very mild delusion (roommate is secretly convinced leo is a vampire that's in love with her), attempted age gap relationship (she's 17 and leo's 19, he shuts that down real fast), very bad poetry
summary: You and Leo are both looking foward to spending a long weekend together, and Leo is determined not to let anything interrupt it, even if it means turning down your roommate's attempts to seduce him in the kitchen.
a/n: absolutley no hate or shade or judgement to anyone who has the same or similar traits as isabella!!!!!! at her core she's annoying because she's the antagonist, not bc of any isolated trait or traits
also she's shitty cause she keeps trying to steal your boyfriend?????
Edit: I forgot to mention before, but this is a college au where you're both still demigods, so you went to camp and on quests and stuff together
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This weekend is going to be all about recharging. Recharging from the ridiculous back to back closing and opening shifts at work, recharging from having to redo that stupid project twice because your professor couldn’t decide on a clear way to define the criteria, and recharging from Isabella having her townie friend Regan over almost non stop to “completely shake up her look” as she put it.
Between the constant presence of someone you’d barely consider an acquaintance and Big Time Rush’s self titled album blasting on repeat out of her giant airpod shaped speaker, it’s been harder than usual to get in some effective self care. You have no idea how many more times you can hear the phrase “I’m going for Jade West meets Elena Gilbert, with just a little Buffy Summers” before you lose your fucking mind.
Thankfully, the hard part is almost over. There’s some minor holiday tomorrow on friday, so you and Leo both have a three day weekend ahead of you, which you intend to spend entirely together. You planned ahead, frontloading homework, chores, errands, and everything you could think of to remove anything that isn’t cuddling or playing video games and watching netflix together from your horizon.
This includes going straight from work to the grocery store to stock the fridge and get any snacks you and Leo want. You had texted him a while ago asking for anything he was craving, and head into the store with a concrete list. After a while, you circle around some aisles, avoiding the check out.
“I feel like I’m forgetting something,” you muse, knowing it’s untrue, but hoping to trigger a memory anyway. You can’t put it off any longer, finally checking out and heading back to your apartment. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t avoiding Isabella just a little.
You know bringing in all these groceries would be way easier with Isabella and possibly Regan’s help, but you just don’t have the social energy to talk to anyone, much less her, right now. By some miracle, you bring everything in yourself, and hope to get it put away before you see Isabella.
You turn to the freezer, putting away the ice cream. When you turn back around, you’re suddenly met face to face with Isabella, who has opened one of the boxes and is picking at a pastry.
“Hey girlie,” she says, elongating the hey.
“Hey,” you reply lethargically, putting the last of the groceries away. She looks at the pastry in her hand like she’s just noticing it.
“Sorry, I can’t help it, I’m italian.” She smiles, endeared by her own behavior. You have no idea what being italian has to do with asking before you open a box of your roommate’s food, but this really isn’t out of character for her. She brings up the fact that she’s half italian more than Lele Pons blames her behavior on being latina.
She’s wearing sweatpants that say chaser on the leg in red and gold varsity font, and a tight tee shirt that says “it’s okay to love them both” with silhouettes of the male love interests from one of the vampire shows she always watches. You collect the plastic bags to put in recycling, and see a piece of paper on the counter.
It reads as follows:
Drowning in my mind
No one hears me cry
Who was I before society
Before society put me in a pink dress
And handed me blonde hair dye
And told me to lose ten pounds or be labeled a freak?
The happiest people cry the most
Let the lyrics be your story
But I’m not like the other skinny blonde pretty girls
I’m
Different
-b.g. xox
You hold back a sigh.
“I think this is yours.” you say, handing it to her.
“Oh, it’s just some of my poetry I left lying around, that’s so embarrassing.”
I know, you think, you do that all the time.
“Did you read it?” She asks, hopefully.
“Nope.”
“Thank god, that would have been so embarrassing. My poetry is something really… deep, and personal to me.”
“Uh huh. Hey, I’m going to be doing a lot of self care this weekend, so-”
“Oh!” she interjects, eerily similar to Phoebe Buffay - you guess she’s been watching friends again - “I wanted to ask… is Leo coming over later?” Her voice is riddled with subtext, the expression on her face a little too invested in your answer.
“Uh, yeah. I told you the other day we’re spending the weekend together…”
She cuts you off again, a sudden, intense look on her face.
“When will he be here?”
You check your phone, scrolling through your recent texts.
“By 7 at the latest.” It’s around 6:40 now.
“Oh my god, I have to change,” she rushes back to her room, presumably digging through her recent additions to her closet.
You’re frozen for a minute after the interaction, left with a furrowed brow and the beginnings of a headache. You blink, then choose to reschedule processing why she feels the need to change for your boyfriend to a more convenient time. That’s enough of that for today. You don’t care what else happens, you’re not talking to anyone besides Leo for at least the rest of the day. You retreat to your room to finally shower and change into something comfy. As you pass by Isabella’s room, you hear her talking to Regan.
“...There’s something almost… supernatural about him.”
You bite back a laugh.
“Do you think he’s a…” Regan begins, ending the sentence with something too quiet to hear, but you’d bet almost any organ she said vampire.
So close. So, so close, and yet… here you are.
Not much later, Leo texts you to let you know he’s here. You read his text, and run out to hug him in the living room before even typing a reply. He picks you up, and spins you around. The embrace is warm and fulfilling and familiar, and you wish it would last forever.
“Hi, Sparky.” you murmur into his neck.
“Estrella…” he says, rocking you back and forth gently and pressing a kiss into your jawline, “I missed you so much.” He punctuates the sentence with another kiss, this one to your lips, and you smile more genuinely than you have all day. You’re about to agree when you remember the good news you’ve been saving to tell him in person.
“Guess what I got on sale for like, half off,” you start, excitedly, continuing at his invested expression, “the Assassin’s Creed bundle I showed you!”
“No way,” he starts, and you nod.
“I’ll go get everything set up, drinks are in the kitchen!” He watches you retreat into your room, disbelieving how he could possibly get someone as perfect as you to fall for him. He’s not going to question his luck. He grabs a couple caffeinated sparkling ices, and meets you in your room, setting down his bag and grabbing some comfy clothes to change into.
As you both get settled in, you fill each other in on all the ridiculous shit you’ve been through this week. You finally conclude the bizarre - yet somehow standard - Isabella escapades.
“So I will be avoiding all contact as much as possible,” you laugh.
“Yeah, no shit,” he agrees, “Consider me your human buffer.” You thank him, hugging him again and pressing a kiss to his lips.
The next couple hours are spent cuddling and finishing season 4 of Castlevania. Both reeling from the season finale, you agree this is a good place to take a break, get some food, and decide what game you should start with. It’s already 10pm, which most people would consider too late for dinner, but you have all weekend to fuck up your sleep schedules.
“Let’s review,” Isabella says, holding up two red lipsticks. She turns to Regan. “Which one?”
“That one,” Regan says, pointing to the one on the left, then turns to her list, and continues. “Here’s what we know; we’ve never seen him eat, and he never seems tired. He’s really smart-”
“Almost too smart,” Isabella adds, selecting black rose dangle earrings from her jewelry. Regan agrees, and continues.
“He’s almost hypnotically attractive, and his smile is a little too dazzling.”
“There’s something… supernatural about him. Like he’s not… all human.”
Regan writes this down.
“Plus he’s always wearing black and red, and those flowy button up shirts? It’s all adding up, Ree. That dream that someone was outside my window, the ring, everything…” She says, referencing the black and red cocktail ring she’d found with her stuff when she’d first moved, “I’m not saying it’s definite, just that… there’s a chance.”
“What about…” Regan says hesitantly, nodding toward your room.
“Please,” she scoffs, “he’s only with them to get close to me, like Damon and Caroline. Edward couldn’t have just approached Bella out of the blue, he had to infiltrate her friend group first, to seem less suspicious. Not to sound mean or anything, but they really don’t seem like the type someone… like him… would choose.” her voice gets dreamy when she mentions him.
In spite of having seen most mainstream vampire media almost as many times as Isabella, Regan still considers her the expert on these things, and decides not to point out that Edward didn’t infiltrate Bella’s friend group. Maybe it comes up in one of the retellings she hasn’t read yet.
“So, what now?”
Isabella sets down her lipstick, and turns to her friend.
“I tell him.”
Regan’s eyes widen.
“You’re going to tell him you know?”
“No… not yet. It’s too soon, we don’t have enough evidence. I’m going to tell him I know he’s in love with me, then once he’s secure in our relationship... we’ll see where it goes.”
She stands up, assessing herself in the mirror. She chose her outfit carefully; short red dress with black roses and black mesh collar, black rose bracelet to match her earrings, snug faux leather jacket, and black stiletto ankle booties with a very skinny heel, the zipper on the outside gold, not silver. She fluffs her wavy hair and turns towards the door. She looks back one more time, holding onto the doorway.
“Wish me luck.”
Leo enters the kitchen, seeing Isabella already there, leaning against the counter seductively. She’s wearing an outfit and jewelry this late at night that makes Leo wonder if she’s going to an emo tea party. He puts the takeout in the microwave. She’s still staring at him.
“Uh… hey.”
She lets out a dainty giggle, looking him up and down.
“... Hi.”
At a loss for words, and really wanting the awkward silence to be over, he continues, “Did you need something?”
“What I need,” she walks closer to him, tracing her finger over his collar, “is you.”
What the fuck?
His brain seems to stall for a moment, and she uses this opportunity to continue.
“I know why you’re here. I know that you’re only using them to get closer to me. I know-”
“Woah-”
“That you’re in love with me.”
Okay, double what the fuck.
She takes his stunned silence as shyness, and steps closer, putting her arms around his shoulders.
“You don’t need to play so coy, I-”
This time she’s the one that gets cut off. He grabs her arms and gently steps away, trying to make it abundantly clear that he’s not into this.
“Woah, okay, slow down. First of all, you’re 17 and I’m turning 20 in a couple months, so that’s a hard no. Second, I don’t know where you got this idea, but I am not dating them to get closer to you. We’ve known each other since we were like, 15, and have been through everything together. I’ve only known you for a couple months. I love them. Probably more than I’ve loved anything ever. I thought that was pretty obvious.”
He doesn’t want to be mean, he really doesn’t, but he can tell from the look on her face that she still thinks this is all part of some game.
“So why don’t I ever see you eat? Why are you so smart, and always up at night? I know what you are.”
He has to physically hold back a laugh. He takes a step back, and places his hands on the counter.
“Isabella, I have adhd. And I’m literally an engineering student. Why wouldn’t I be smart and have a shitty sleep schedule?”
She starts to protest, and he pulls out the reheated take out from the microwave.
“And for the record, I do eat.”
Exiting the kitchen quickly and retreating back to your room, he hands you your food.
“I got the game set up!” you say excitedly.
“Nice!”
You take one look at his face and can tell something happened. He sees this, and continues.
“I just had a very… interesting interaction with Isabella,” before he finishes the sentence, your head is already in your hands. You let out a groan.
“What did she do?” you mutter from behind your hands.
He pulls you into his lap, rubbing your back.
“I’m not totally sure,” you laugh, “but I think she thinks I’m secretly in love with her…” you’re both laughing before he can even finish the sentence.
“No…” you laugh, “no fucking way…”
“Believe me, I put an end to that as soon as it started.”
“Oh, I do.”
He runs his hand over your back, and you’re quiet for a moment.
“You know,” he continues, “I think getting our own place has definitely moved up the priority list.”
You couldn’t agree more.
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Different, But Same
[Part 1 of my Tomgreg Analysis Series]
TL;DR - Shiv and Greg tend to mirror each other a long in the sequence of the story especially in regards to Tom. This is interesting as Shiv is Tom's romantic partner which the same relationship is echoed very strongly with Tom and Greg.
One of my most interesting observations in regards to the whole Tom/Shiv and Tom/Greg situation is how Greg and Shiv's narrative arc seem similar in regards to their relationship with Tom. However, because of certain reasons, the relationship that Tom has with Greg is more stronger despite the same narrative followed for Shiv as well.
Also disclaimer : THIS IS TINHATTERY! THIS IS ME THEORISING! YOU CAN ALWAYS DISAGREE / AGREE WITH ME.
I'm just having some fun here.
1. Initial Circumstances of meeting Tom
In S01E01, we see the circumstances in which Tom and Greg meet each other for the first time. Yes, with the volatile reaction that Tom has of "would you kiss me if I asked you? if I told you to?" (That is a whole another topic that I'll later delve into about shame and queerness in Succession) However, but the time Greg dejectedly stands at the door Logan's hospital cabin with uncertainty about his job at Waystar, S01E02, Tom makes an important offer to Greg. He offers to "look after" Greg in his time of need and help him.
Interestingly, later in the series, in an offhand comment, Shiv mentions how she herself was not in a good state of mind or in a stable position of life when she met Tom. [I don't recall the exact episode where this conversation takes place - but I'm pretty sure this happens]
Regardless, in different times of the show, Shiv depends on Tom to help her through stressful circumstances.
Tom is a dependable person for both Shiv and Greg through his emotional support as well as professional support for these people.
2. RECNY BALL Incident
In S01E04, the notable RECNY Ball takes place which is overshadowed by the fact that Tom receives papers about the Cruises Scandal from Bill. There are two people that Tom informs about the papers : his assistant, Greg Hirsch and his wife to be, Siobhan Roy.
This is one of the multiple instances where Greg and Shiv are placed in the same context for Tom.
When Gerri confronts Tom about the holding a press conference. However, (this is the point where the Tomgreg subtext becomes stronger) when Greg defends himself, Tom seems to believe him which ends up casting strong suspicion on Shiv. This is interesting as this takes place, weeks? days? after having met Greg for the first time and despite, fact that Tom is going to be married to Shiv, he doesn't trust her.
Greg's subordinate status to Tom and his disconnect from the Roys (the situation happens to be opposite for Shiv) is what makes Tom believe him in the first place. Tom has never felt secure in his relationship with Shiv because of his perceived inferior status. However, in regards to Greg, he's in a more balanced position (even superior to Greg) which is why he feels strongly about protecting Greg as well as is comfortable in his relation (though he expresses jealousy? at Greg's closeness with Kendall professionally later on).
He assigns the job of burning the papers to Greg which brings the both closer as they have a secret between them. (Even Shiv doesn't know about the papers until their wedding) Greg and Tom can trust each other to some extend because of the Cruises burning incident because if one of them reveals it then the other goes down. (This analysis does not currently take into account Greg revealing the papers at the press conference - by that point he's reached a position where he can reach out for things other than what Tom can offer him)
3. They both betray Tom as well as Logan
Shiv joins Nate professionally which leads her to not only later cheat on Tom despite their ongoing engagement, but it also brings her into conflict with Logan Roy as she decides to align herself with Senator Gil Eavis who is extremely anti-Logan. Her alliance with Nate causes strong jealousy for Tom wherein he asks Shiv about Nate (which also later is apparent with how Tom humiliates him later with the wine).
In a similar vein, Greg encourages Kendall during the night of Shiv's wedding with "things have to change here". And later on, not only aligns himself such strongly with Kendall that prompts Tom to ask him about it during Hungary and says "a girl can start to wonder."
Both of these alliances are detrimental to Logan as they challenge his place in the throne. However, Shiv's alliance with Eavis collapses easily due to difference in views. It would be interesting if the Kenstar Gregco alliance lasts longer due to the consequences that might result if they try to break apart as well as the blood bond which makes the link more stronger.
4. They both negotiate with Gerri using the Cruises Papers
Tracking on the fact that Shiv and Greg are the ones that mainly know about the papers. They leverage this information in a way that benefits them or creates additional favours for them.
This is initially seen when Greg rats out Tom's plan to do a new conference exposing Cruises to Gerri which is how she shuts him down quickly. This gives Greg a favourable opinion from Gerri, a proximity to the power of Waystar and benefits him even though it screws Tom over.
In a similar vein, Shiv does the same thing when she negotiates with Gerri, Logan's spokesperson, during her wedding night to stop the attacks on Eavis. She uses it to benefit the person she is working for.
This is a very small similarity, but is also another way they both mirror each other in the arc of the story.
5. A sense of moral superiority
Again minor point, but interestingly, both Shiv and Greg have a sense of moral superiority over not being as involved in the business and their sense of doing the right thing.
(This may later diminish as both get more and more stuck with the core of the business, but this is at like early S2)
Greg brings it up first when Tom brings him to ATN with his whole speech on "principles". Tom admonishes Greg with "of course, we're trying to do the right thing. We all are, so don't go talking about principles."
A similar thing repeats when Shiv admonishes Tom about Logan's decision to purchase Pierce. She makes a point about how terrible ATN is the fact that she needs to get proper news from a "respectable" source.
Both of them throw Tom's involvement with ATN as well as Waystar by a way of sticking to principles while being incredibly hypocritical themselves.
6. "Open Marriage"
This is self-explanatory for the most part, but at the same time, it's one of the biggest points for this mirror as well as for Tomgreg.
As mentioned before Tom feels a sense of inferiority with Shiv, which is why he is the more meeker one in the relationship. Which makes him accept the "open marriage" idea with Shiv even though he is essentially being cheated on the entire time.
However, in regards to Greg, the same inferiority does not appear. And by the time, the famous "I will not let go of what is mine" scene, Tom and Greg are friends to a bit. They go out for the ortolan scene (which has a separate analysis about physical hunger and queerness as well later - food metaphors are strong in Succession), Greg tells Tom about Shiv's cheating and Tom has brought Greg into ATN.
[These small things cement the relationship between them and show that Tom and Greg enjoy themselves outside the confines of Waystar which Tom and Shiv struggle with as seen in the case of their honeymoon]
However, Greg's use of "open marriage" causes Tom to not only express his anger, but provides a space to express the anger. He publicly declares how upset he feels that Greg wants to leave and interestingly, uses relationship specific terms like "break up" to talk about Greg's proposal. He repeatedly asserts that Greg is "his" and this brings in a context of jealousy with Kendall when Tom questions about Greg spending more time with Kendall later on in Hungary.
7. They both ask favours from Tom which put him in trouble with Logan
In the Hungary episode, both Shiv and Greg ask Tom do certain favours (In case of Shiv, it is for Tom to ask Logan about the Pierce deal and convey everybody's dissatisfaction. And in case of Greg, it is to hide that fact that he met with Pantsil from Logan).
Now, Tom has been clearly established as a strong sycophant in regards to whoever is at the helm of Waystar (conveying Kendall about Ewan coming to the board meeting as well as cheering on Logan when he announces Pierce) so the only way he would take a risk for a person is if he's close to them. This makes sense in case of Shiv as she is his literal wife, however, this comparison is interesting when we think about Greg in this context. Tom goes lengths to protect Greg to the point he is humiliated by the employees and his in-laws only which is huge as throughout the entire series Tom has simply been trying to fit in with the Roys to the point, he wants to change his last name after marriage.
8. Both are put in position where they are can be the successor of the company and in turn, can become Tom's boss
This happens mostly at the end of S2, but, the entire time Shiv is championed as the Successor by Logan Roy himself which makes Tom assume that he will later on succeed her. However, this is turned to the head when Shiv proclaims that she does want to run the company. In doing so, she will become Tom's boss which is disappointing to Tom because, it will only emphasis on his sense of inferiority as well as the fact that he cannot take care of her (because as established before he is the person that cares for people, especially ones that he loves).
A same dynamic emerges as Greg aligns himself with Kendall. This exponentially increases his chances of being the Successor (especially if Kendall drops out somehow either due to drugs or any other circs) which would also untie the two Roys. This would similar draw the same conflict Tom faces with Shiv as the successor.
Therefore, in bringing Shiv and Greg together again and again, I feel like it enhances the romantic subtext between Tom and Greg (as it literally swaps out the man's wife for his lanky assistant) as well as brings out a stronger comparison as Tom and Greg have done things to each other as well as for each other which ties them together more closely than Tom and Shiv.
Just imho.
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ohheyitsokay · 3 years
Text
found
pairing: Paz Vizsla x reader
wordcount: 3.3k
warnings: brief mentions of cannon typical violence, the general awkwardness of writing a new character, fluff
summary: you're someone surprisingly good st finding lost things, and you find a Mandalorian - who's looking for home
<<
Trying to get over my need to over explain things by leaving random plot holes. Don’t think about it too hard.
The charred remnants of the base were in tragic, disorganized, smoking piles all around you.
Feet still, you breathed in through your nose and out through your mouth, too tired to be in awe of what had taken place, too overwhelmed to realize that you were unscathed.
When a figure stepped out from behind one of the heaps, only your eyes moved, impressed in spite of yourself that they had managed to stay silent. It was a being barricaded in armor, solid like they were carved from the mountain around you, but blue, shockingly, wonderfully, beautifully blue.
You wondered if you had it in you to fight him.
It hadn’t been so long ago, that you’d met other Mandalorians – their helmets so full of pompous you wondered how they could fly. As he walked closer, you noticed that he did not look like them, did not hold his chin so high it begged to be knocked with the blunt end of a weapon. There was pride in his shoulders still, but no more than was in yours, and he approached you with empty hands.
“What happened here?” his voice had a rumble but he seemed curious, not disbelieving or angry.
“I tricked them,” you told him, and you were surprised to find yourself unafraid of telling him plainly. “I was looking for a missing flock of sant birds, and found them plumping the bellies of imperial troops.” You gestured loosely to a sparse gaggle of silly little beaked creatures tied a string toward the edge of the rubble. “I muddled the communication signals until they believed there was an incoming attack, and their would-be rescuers believed their own troops were the enemy.”
The Mandalorian's back straightened slightly and his helmet tilted.
“You did that for sant birds?”
“I have no love for imps or those who take what is not theirs,” it came out defensive, although he hadn’t belittled your choice. “It was more effective than I expected, but there were not many living who are not anymore, just droids.”
“You are one who finds what it lost?” there was a question there, but not one spoken aloud, and the subtext screamed.
“Can I help you find something, Mandalorian?”
His shoulders rose slightly - just a hair, really - and you couldn’t sworn his helmet dipped.
“Yes.”
-
Your fingers danced along the buttons and levers of the ship’s control panels, waiting for a command from your mind that would never come. They moved when you thought, searching for a memory – you couldn’t help it.
Next to you, Paz watched, amused as your sharp eyes were unfocused, mouth open just slightly with unspoken words.
“What are you thinking of, little one?” he asked, as quiet as he could manage, snapping you back to the present.
“When we first met,” you turned to him with a smile that made him fidget in his seat. It baffled him, how good you were, and how steady you’d been by his side.
Paz didn’t respond with words, just a thoughtful hum as he watched the stars race by in streaks. You didn’t know, but he was a little embarrassed by it – how enraptured he’d been by you, how quickly he trusted you.
After being separated from his clan, injured and angry, he had spent months stewing and brewing plans for finding his brethren again to no avail. Paz even hitched rides with strangers and picked up less than ideal work, hoping for something of his people to point him in the right direction.
Still healing, he settled on a little planet known for its rumors, known for spreading and sharing information so fresh it hadn’t had time to be twisted. It was there that he waited for words of Mandalorians, met the… other clans, and it was where he heard of you.
On the surface you weren’t remarkable, the whispers said, just a traveler with an uncanny ability to find lost things, and just smart enough to bend the world to your will and just slippery enough to stay one step ahead of genuine trouble. They said you were caring and cunning and clever and had a knack for judging a person’s character. From word alone he liked that, liked you.
The farmer who owned the barn he was sleeping in told Paz that he had asked you to find an old necklace of his mothers. A day later, both the necklace and a long lost sister were joining them for dinner, and you shrugged off both the thanks and the payment with a smile. Paz knew, because he had heard you distantly, through the weathered slats of the barn, and it stayed with him.
The dismissive words reminded him of home - the first reminder that wasn’t painful - evoking moments that were sweeter than the ache of loss. He would have said the same thing, when the Mandalorian’s who were not warriors requested his help. It wasn’t strict custom, but the way, to accept meals instead of money, stories instead of useless metal. Your actions, words, and far-away laughter reminded him of his home.
And when he found you, uninjured, a glint of satisfaction in your eyes and pride in your shoulders as you spoke casually about justice he couldn’t go back. You were almost glowing in the light of the still smoldering embers, gorgeous and determined and he knew he only had one choice – one shot take you with him.
Paz wasn’t in the habit of making promises he wasn’t absolutely sure he keep but he made himself one that day, buried it like a time capsule somewhere in his chest.
And then immediately put it to the test, by testing you.
He looked over at you, your hands now fiddling with your chair, and he fought the urge to mimic the movements. “I evaluated you,” he hoped you could hear that he was smiling.
You snorted, an impolite noise that made want to laugh.
Standing, you widened you stance comically lifting your limbs in an effort to be bigger, mocking him and saying “If I hire you, little one, I must know that I can trust you,” in an exaggerated tone. The exact words he’d told you after his test was over, something you teased him about often. Paz was laughing, but he wondered if you liked how deep his voice was – it was the key change to your mimicry. Looking satisfied with yourself, you settled down again, reminiscing.
The test had been to accompany him on a mission he’d picked up for extra cash – there were plenty of opportunities to be reckless but you gambled with neither his life nor your own. It was one of those circumstances where you were moving and guarding cargo for a rich young diplomat. He told you afterwards he wanted to see if you’d pocket anything beyond your payment, and of course you hadn’t.
“I passed with flying colors.”
The mission had veered left, when a misinformed bounty hunter pressed the tip of a blaster against your throat. At the time you were nearly strangers, but you didn’t give him up, even when you realized the bounty hunter was looking for a woman.
Paz was as in awe of you then as he was now. You agreed to help him the remnants of his clan, and to travel with him, and his promise to himself remained intact.
He nodded.
-
When he was young, Paz had a sweetheart, a kind Mandalorian girl with whom he enjoyed spending time with. It fizzled as apprenticeships and training were traded politics and responsibilities, and he had always had fond memories of that time.
It paled in comparison to how he felt about you.
You had been searching on your own for something you swore would help your search, and had been gone for days. If he hadn’t been sure before, he was certain now – what you were to him was infinitely more than anything else he had ever known. Still, he felt like a schoolboy, missing you, glancing at the door to the ship with eagerness every time he heard a creak.
He had thought for weeks it was because you felt like home, had been sure it was your ease with mando'a and his culture that made take to you like a duck to water. It made sense, he reasoned with himself. Of course he missed his family, those he was raised alongside, the very people who gave him purpose in life - of course he was looking for any scrap or taste of that wherever he could get it. Nevermind that your smile made him feel like he’d been stunned, it was just because your personal culture fit his like pieces of his armor.
Anyone would have been pleased, half smitten with someone who allowed then onto their ship, especially one as functional as yours. It was perfectly reasonable that he was comfortable with you, since you were always so thoughtful and honest and caring.
And you were talented, useful, that was all. The reason he valued you so highly was that you made his life easier, matched him step to step and balanced out his strength.
But that was all over now. It was special, how well you fit with him, and not to be taken lightly the vulnerability you gave as you shared your space and rations and time with him. All those other things were true, certainly, tenfold the longer you stayed in his company, but he could no longer explain away how much lighter his heart felt when you trotted into the ship, windblown hair and triumphant eyes.
He wanted you to be by his side, preferably if you wanted to be there.
Standing, he moved towards you, wishing he could hug you as you unceremoniously dumped your supplies on the floor. Instead, he picked them up, piling them or putting them back where they belong as you both filled each other in onto the days passed.
Eventually, the suspense overflowed, your excitement bubbling out of you.
“I got it!” your voice did something when you were excited that he couldn’t quite put his finger on, but it made him smile.
“Got what?” Paz swallowed a cyar'ika.
Eagerly, you produced a small drive and plugged it into the display, saying, “A map!” with pride.
“We already have a map,” That time, he nearly choked on the mesh'la his instincts insisted on, looking at you with genuine confusion.
When you grabbed his gloved hand, he thought he might never let it go.
“Not one like this, Paz.” You turned to the floating miniatures, and he only watched your face under their glow a moment longer before he tore himself away to look as well.
It was distracting, how close you stepped to him as you pointed, but your words were thick with value.
The map had details of Mandalorian sightings and rumors and stories. Even more than that, many of the planets had extra information tacked on, about resource numbers. Paz drank them in, your excitement finally making sense as he realized you were starting to highlight the ones where imported goods didn’t match the populations reported. Your voice was telling him you’d find them soon, that for him, you would do whatever it takes. His longing had become yours, in this little ship half buried in the dirt, under the expanse of the sky.
His hand found your shoulder, gently turning you and carefully, carefully, he hugged you.
-
The first three planets they chased were driven by pure, unadulterated excitement. He was eager for his brothers, eager to go back to protecting those who raised him and those who were being raised alike. Eager to be home, wherever that may be.
But as the weeks wore on, a realization settled in his mind. Finding home would mean your job was complete – his loss would be you, instead of his tribe.
And he did not like that thought at all.
It became a harsh contrast to his eagerness, as jarring as cool water cracking over heated metal, raising a stink that made his eyes threaten to fill. With each lead the two of you chased, there was a twist in his gut, anticipation suddenly less solid in his heart.
Your ship was nice, cozy and reliable, and he had filled his bunk with anything he found in the markets that reminded him of home. In between searches, you always managed to find the littlest work for the highest pay off – and really, work for a Mandalorian and his lovely, cunning companion was more than available. It was nice, filling your little kitchenette with foods you had introduced to him, and whatever he could get his hands on of the ingredients from his memories.
It wasn’t the same as his old home, with the people and culture who had shaped him, but it was something, and he… liked it, a lot.
He had gotten used to you, the way when his frustration built how you’d match it when he needed to, or lock him in a room with a pile of rations, or slip your hand between the gaps of his armor and rub circles with your thumb. Once he’d gotten in his head about the Mandalore, gone so far he wanted to fight everything that moved, maybe even stop some of them from breathing. You walked right up to him, wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned your weight on him until he remembered to breathe. And he didn’t really think anyone else in the galaxy would’ve done that.
So how could he give that up?
-
There was an elderly woman, Kori, who had missed the battle. Paz told you excitedly that she was fierce and had fought the armorer for the right to travel, unaware of the trouble that followed his brother-in-arms and the child.
You had set up the meeting at a little cantina you knew, and watched as Paz paced around your ship in his newly polished armor.
The last few months with him had been like a dream – and you had never been more selfish. When you’d met this Mandalorian you had been in awe, despite the previous encounters with the beskar-clad race. More than his formidable size, he cared fiercely, almost seeming larger by the passion that filled his frame.
And the more time you spent listening to his stories, why it all mattered so much to him, and having him listen to you in turn, the more thankful you were that he found you, and continued to let you help him in his search. He didn’t need you, not really. The man was resourceful and intimidating and held himself with the confident grace of a predator - it would have been just as easy for him to take what he wanted and be on his way.
It was strange, how his blood was equal parts humble and proud, but you were drawn to it, intoxicated by him. No one had ever made you feel as protected as he did, as… valuable as he treated you, and you ached for him. You couldn’t bear not to help him as much as you could, but you already knew you would miss your long nights spent talking or the way his gloved hand would grab yours like it was his second nature.
When it was time for the meeting, you had put extra care into your appearance, as if it would matter, wanting to make a good impression. Your companion stopped, and looked you over, and your feet shifted on the bumpy ramp of your ship.
Paz rumbled, as he had the first time you’d met, saying, “What is this?”
It made you laugh, sometimes, that someone so powerful and in control could be so awkward at times.
“Is it bad?” you quipped, trying to sound as though you did not care what he thought. In truth, he was the only one you had ever wanted so badly to think you were attractive.
Paz made a small noise, one you thought you recognized as annoyed, and you turned in time to see his helmet shaking and his shoulders tense.
“Mesh'la,” his voice was lower than normal. Logically you should’ve expected it, but it was amazing, almost overwhelming how his hand enveloped your cheek.
“Thank you,” you whispered, leaning into his touch. It was warm, and you felt selfish for wondering how much moreso it would be without his gloves.
And then a moment later the touch broke and he was hurrying to the cantina with you at his heels.
Kori was there, and they embraced. She greeted you kindly, but you kept your distance as they talked.
You settled at the bar, trying not to mourn a relationship that was hardly more than friendship, as you felt the eyes of someone on the back of your neck. It was a familiar feeling, and you turned, assuming it was Paz – but finding a man making his way over to you instead.
He was handsome, too tight clothes stretched over the muscles of his chest and a sweet, crooked smile. It made you think, maybe a distraction wouldn’t be so bad – and it wasn’t, at first. The guy was nice, attractive and charming and respectful enough that you let yourself actually enjoy his company. You almost didn’t feel the Mandalorians watching you – and you certainly didn’t see your Mandalorian's hands clench on the table.
-
Paz had hardly said a word to you since he dragged you back to the ship. He knew it was making you anxious, knew you were already waiting for him to start packing, knew you deserved some type of explanation as to what was happened but he just couldn’t.
For the very first time in his life he was petrified of getting the words wrong, desperate to say everything as right as be possibly could.
He wasn’t trained in this – they would say it was the way and move on, or have heated conversations driven by what they knew was right. Mandalorians weren’t … tactful, tentative, tender people, but Maker, did he want to be, for you.
You, in your nice clothes, settled in a crate, watching him and waiting, looking just touch guilty.
It’s not your fault, he wanted to say. It was his, for not being honest sooner. For letting you think he wasn’t head over heels in love with you, for letting you believe he would, could leave you. But he was angry, at himself and at the karking boy for thinking he had any right you make you smile like that.
Angry that it took Kori one look to know what he had spent weeks denying, to unearth the promise he'd made himself about keeping you close.
Angry it took her hand on his fists, and her quite, “Home is where the heart is, adi'ka,” for him to realize.
And when Paz was angry, words slipped past his tongue back down his throat like bitter medicine, and he couldn’t make it stop. He was a man who had spent years of his life in absolute control over every muscle in his body but he always failed with one, the one that seemed to matter most.
In the end, he remembered to do what he wished you would do – he pulled you into him, pressing he forehead of his helmet against yours.
In a moment, he could explain himself, tell you he loved you, ask you to let him stay. In a moment he would thank you for finding him.
But for now, he watched as the confusion cleared from your eyes before they closed and your mouth pulled into a smile, and didn’t run from the pride that filled him from head to toe.
<<
taglist:
@fangirl-316 @scribbledghost @writeforfandoms @beautyagegoodnesssize @princess76179 @mrsbentallmadge
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mitsurugi28 · 3 years
Text
Addressed at SPN CW
DISCLAIMER: This was written as part of my Creative Writing course. We read the pamphlet Killing Noe Murder (which advocates the assassination of Oliver Cromwell), and were tasked to write our own 'Death Threat'. Which is to say, I am not actually threatening anyone at the CW; this is simply to convey how mad I am at the queerbaiting and queer erasure in Supernatural, but also in other shows of the CW more generally.
.
.
.
Dear The CW,
Et tu, Brute?
Wow.
What a truly awful thing you’ve done.
I just want to talk. I promise. This will be your first, and only, warning. I will not repeat myself. So, listen closely.
Should I ever have the displeasure of meeting any of you in real life, know this: it’s on sight. I will not be held accountable for my actions, should this occur. You have brought this upon yourselves. You could have made history, but you chose to remain tiny-minded, money-grubbing, homophobic bigots. That’s on you. Now, you have to deal with the consequences. I suggest you watch your kneecaps.
You see, we are sick and tired of your shit. You have crossed us one too many times, and this time, we refuse to back down. Enough is enough. You have had ample time to decide which side of history you want to stand on. You have made your decision. And we have made ours.
For 12 years, you have ridiculed us. You have told us that we’re delusional, that we’re reading too much into the subtext that you put there so blatantly, there is barely any ‘sub’ left. You have silenced us, forbidden us to speak our truth, and refused to listen. Well, we will no longer remain silent.
You owe us. For 12 fucking years, we have kept you alive. You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for our love and passion. Even though we’ve only earned your scorn, we have continued to carry this show on our backs and refused to let go. You know this, because you have taken advantage of it. Again and again, you’ve thrown us scraps: enough so as not to starve, not enough to live a healthy life. You have exploited us, turned our love into monetary gain, and you continue to do so. Yet, you have recognised our power and our influence. I admit, we were gullible enough to believe, to hope, that you had changed, when you gave us the confession. An ‘I love you’ that was 12 years in the making. You actually made it canon. We rejoiced; we are not crazy. We’ve been right all this time. There is no way you could back down from this, take this back, right?
Oh, but we underestimated your capacity for bullshit. You give us an undeniable homosexual declaration of love, just to immediately kill the character who spoke it. Bury your gays, indeed. He then does not get to appear on screen again, despite this show teaching us that nothing ever really stays dead, not for them; despite explicitly telling us, in the show, mentioning him by name, that he is alive again, that he is back; despite the fact that this character, this man, this actor, is the sole reason for why you’re still kicking and breathing, 15 years after you started. And what’s his thanks? Desolation. Death. Disposal. Thrown away like a toy you no longer wanted to play with. After all, you’d gotten what you wanted: to keep going. Exploit the actor and his fans so we keep coming back, so you can keep fucking us over. And as if all that wasn’t bad enough already, a year later, a year after the show has finished, you have the audacity to tell us that, actually, his confession is ‘up for interpretation’. Nevermind the fact that it was written by a queer man, acted and directed in a decisively queer manner, and everyone directly involved in that particular scene agrees that it is, indeed, queer. Not ‘open for interpretation’. If I have to hear one more time, that ‘this is a piece of fiction, and you can interpret it however you want, unless, of course, you interpret it as queer, in which case, your interpretation is wrong because this isn’t a show about nonbinary and also you’re disgusting and making everyone uncomfortable’, so help me God, I will end you. I don’t care who you are; I will find you, and I will fistfight you into next week.
This story isn’t yours anymore, and it hasn’t been for a long time. It’s ours. You do not get to touch it anymore until you have learned to respect it. But you won’t. You just don’t get it, do you? This isn’t just about a ship; this isn’t just about fictional characters. This is about our lives, our identities, our existence. You have done enough damage. You know, I really don’t understand how you can be so dense; it’s not that difficult to understand. Queer people - we - are not some sex-crazed, paedophilic, incestuous weirdoes. No matter how much you try to make us out to be. We deserve the same representation as cis-gender, heterosexual people. We deserve to be shown in all of our beautiful colours. We deserve to be seen as individuals full of happiness, and joy, and love, and life. We deserve to get our happy ever after. Until you learn that, keep your grubby fingers away from these characters. We will show them the love and tenderness they deserve; we will give them the happy ending they have fought for, for so long. They deserve it, because we do, too.
You could have had it all. You could have made history. And, since money is the only language you seem to speak, I’ll come down to your level. Do you have any idea about the success you could have had, had you stopped the queerbaiting and just given us canon queer representation? You’re afraid to turn away the homophobes, to lose their money, but have you imagined the amount of fans you would have won in return? All the starved queer people looking for scraps coming to feast at your table and join in the celebrations. Together, we could have enjoyed the most epic love story ever written, accidental as it was, not initially meant to happen, and yet so clearly meant to be. Instead, all we got is the greatest disappointment. And for what? To appease some bigots?
*sarcastic slow clap* Bravo, you cowards.
To make matters worse, this is only one example. And I’m not even going into the details. You have done this before, with other shows, with other fandoms, with other ships, and you will do it again. Your legacy will be one of cowardice and erasure. Remember: you reap what you sow. This is your warning. Be ready. We are coming for you, and we are going to burn you to the ground.
Sincerely,
Queer Fans
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capesandshapes · 3 years
Text
All You Had to Do Was Stay (Post Reveal/ Pre Relationship) (3/4)
Summary:
Three years ago, Marinette revealed her identity to him. Three years ago, he promised to wait in a hotel room for her. Three years ago, she opened the door to find it empty.
Now she's expected to play nice with him, since she's the maid of honor and he's unfortunately the best man. But old habits die hard, and old feelings die harder.
"This is a wedding, not a death march, Marinette."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was going well.
Or, at least as well as a combination Bachelor and Bachelorette party planned entirely via awkward emails could go.
Which could be attributed solely to her and her thousands of schedules and planners, along with the fact that she checked the weather almost religiously and the tide predictions. Adrien just bankrolled most of the thing, which worked well enough seeing as he was the head of a multi-billion-dollar fashion house and she was an up-and-coming designer with an Etsy shop focusing on affordable fashion for normal people. Sure, he insisted on a few things, such as not using the Couffaine’s houseboat (He’d actually tried to argue against a boat entirely) or serving shots with Kim and Alix finally reuniting at this party—But most of it could be attributed to her.
She was pretty sure that was him trying to please her, to play nice after that disastrous night outside the bakery. He was avoiding her as much as possible, and any time he was faced with her he resolved the tension by agreeing to her as much as possible.
He was capable of learning, she supposed.
Marinette stood to the side of the bar as the boat they road on bobbed upwards and downwards, a hand braced on the counter and a glass of water that had she poured into a wineglass in the other. She hadn’t admitted to anyone, but she had a habit of getting seasick. The dim lighting of the fairy lights twinkling overhead combined with the loud pounding of music did a good job of hiding that.
She gave a small, weak smile as she looked out to her friends on the dance floor, some of them being people who she hadn’t seen for far longer than Adrien. Kim and Alix were locked in an exaggerated slow dance that had the two cackling, Juleka and Rose had stolen away to a corner, and Sabrina was excitedly explaining her business as a personal assistant to anyone who would listen. It’d been a long time since she’d seen them all, and it made her sentimental. She rarely saw anyone outside of Alya and Nino now.
“Makes you nostalgic, huh?” A deep, familiar voice asked her, obviously having slid in beside her at the bar at some point.
The side of her mouth tugged harder, and that nauseous feeling in her stomach momentarily left her. She let her blue eyes drift over, practically beaming as she took him in. “Luka Couffaine,” she said. A part of her wondered if he would come.
His long, shaggy blue hair and sharp eyes were now the highlight of the evening. Or almost the highlight. “Marinette,” he said, “fancy meeting you here.”
“Oh yes,” Marinette agreed, “it’s shocking for the maid of honor to be at the Bachelorette party.”
“Well, when she’s got a problem with the best man,” Luka began.
Marinette shot him a look. “Be quiet, someone could hear you.”
“I think everyone would have to be blind not to know,” Luka said, leaning against the bar beside her. She knew where he was looking, who he was watching. Yet, despite that, he said, “a part of me always hoped it would be us out there. Doing all of this.”
Her smile fell. “But you’re happy now?”
“Immensely,” he confirmed, and one look at his face reaffirmed that. He was still watching, still taking it all in. If her eyes traveled to the same place, she could do it too. She could look at Adrien Agreste and wonder how everything got so utterly awful. “I knew it wouldn’t be us, Marinette. We weren’t those type of people.”
“The type of people to get married?”
“The type of people to fit together without any gaps,” he explained. “No room for concern, no regrets.”
She sighed. There was more to it, of course. There was so much more to everything, like the fact that she could never do it, never give herself completely to Luka. She was always waiting, lingering in hallways at the slightest flash of the right shade of blond, and hearing familiar laughter in the silence.
She loved Luka, but she was always wanting. She needed Chat, she needed Adrien, she needed whatever form of him he would give her—
“You still love him, don’t you?” Luka asked. It was a stupid question. She’d seen Adrien six times since he came back, and half of those moments were in passing. Any rational person would say no, only crazy romantics would say yes.
So, she stayed silent.
“I want you to be happy,” Luka said finally, and it was a bucket of cold water poured on her. A reminder of reality, of where she was now, and a rush of that seasickness back to her gut. But when he said it, there was that hint of leftover desire, that underlying subtext that there was a hole in his heart, and it would always be there for her.
And the cold understanding that she never made a groove in her heart for him.
She turned to look at him, only to find him gone.
And with that came sickness.
Awful, churning sickness. A vile wave of nausea that assaulted her stomach. The boat lurched, and with it, so did she.
My god, she was going to die.
Marinette Dupain Cheng, beloved daughter and friend. Died of seasickness because of her own poor choices while planning a party to celebrate her friends’ upcoming wedding.
She threw her head back with another large wave, her eyes watering as she fought the overwhelming urge to die. Lila Rossi was at the party, slithering onto the guest list with a perfectly timed apology to Alya about an awful Instagram post. If Marinette turned any greener she was sure she’d be on Rossi’s snapchat story, paired with a caption questioning why exactly the poor girl was so sick. Another pregnancy rumor.
She grimaced at the thought and nearly fell to her knees as another wave jostled her. Luckily, a hand caught her before she could fall, the warmth of a thick blazer spread across her shoulders and distracted her momentarily.
“And this,” said a voice as she was hauled back onto her feet, “is why I argued against the boat.”
She turned both quickly and unsteadily, catching a mixture of blond and green before, unfortunately, practically falling against it.
She could have done worse.
She could have done much worse.
Such as vomiting on his Burberry jacket or ruining his Chanel shoes.
Adrien’s arms caught her easily, hooking underneath her armpits and hauling her upwards once more. “I’d make a joke about you falling for me, but all things considered… I’d say you’re sick of me.”
Badum tss.
Marinette groaned, resting her forehead against his chest only because it was the main thing keeping the rest of the world from overwhelming her. “Were your jokes always this stupid?”
“Things seem a lot funnier when you’re madly in love,” he said, and she made sure to fire back a glare in response. “That’s good,” he said with an air of authority when she looked at him, “eyes on me, focus on the conversation instead of the waves.”
“Can I have a different conversation partner?” she fired back.
He rolled his eyes, shaking his head at her as he kept a hand braced on her back, the other braced on her shoulder to keep her upright. “Do you want someone else to know you’re sick?” He asked, “because I guarantee Alya and Nino will hear.”
Ugh.
“We’re going to get you inside,” Adrien decided, evidently having spotted a door back into the cabin.
“And then?” She asked, she didn’t see how that would help.
“And then I’ll stay by you in case it all goes south, and you can play YouTube videos on my phone to distract you for another hour or two until Alya goes looking for you. Then you’ll take some selfies, come back, and we’ll wash, rinse, and repeat.”
Marinette wrinkled her nose. “I don’t trust you to stay anywhere, Agreste.”
He flinched. “Okay, fair, but… I’m your only option here so,” he tilted his head at her, looking down as he withdrew his hand from her waist only to offer it to her again. “Either you take my hand and we go, or I leave you here at the mercy of the Seine, which seems to be in quite the mood today.”
He had a point.
“Fine,” she said, slapping her hand into his. “I’ll sit next to you, but I will not talk to you. Don’t expect a miraculous turn around.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“I hope you know that nearly every YouTube recommendation of yours being highlight reels of Ladybug and Chat Noir is not endearing,” Marinette informed Adrien, “it makes you look self-obsessed.”
“It’s not every YouTube recommendation,” Adrien scoffed, moving beside her to point at his screen. “See? Anime.”
“Top ten anime waifus?” Marinette read out, shooting him a look.
“You know that’s not what it says,” he responded, yet she couldn’t help but note the way that he took a second look as if making sure.
They were on the ground in the cabin of the boat, nearest the hallway where the kitchens and bathroom were. Adrien was the one to declare that the safest, a place where she could get water if needed, and if worse came…
“When will this finally pass,” Marinette asked yet again as she let herself fall onto her back, she’d repeated the question with every single video finished, but her impatience continued to grow.
And he repeated the same answer, “in four hours when the boat finally docks and we end up on dry land.”
Four hours.
“You were never good in the water,” he said, “and this is coming from the guy dressed like a cat.”
She glared, slapping his thigh. “When this boat lands, the truce ends.”
His smile faltered at that, and he let himself sink down onto the ground beside her, his eyes trained towards the ceiling.
This had a time limit; all of this had a time limit. Even she had almost forgotten that. Because eventually the wedding would end, eventually there would be no more forced interactions, eventually he would go home. Eventually she would go back to her life and wonder the same damn question.
“Why weren’t you there that night?” There was no gracefulness to how it was presented, it merely clattered from her like a knife falling from a kitchen table. It was heavy and loaded, the kind of question that you swallowed down every time you saw someone, not the type that you lobbed out when you were laying side by side and wishing it had been like this so many other times.
She could feel his eyes on her.
“I…” he began, but whatever he meant to say was a false start. He swallowed the letter and tried again. “I don’t…” Know? Care? Want to talk about this?
Why did she care anymore?
What would it change?
Nothing.
“I was scared,” he said finally.
“Okay,” she said.
And that was that. That should have been that. That should have been her hint, her great sign.
“Why?”
And with that single word he rose to his forearms, looking over at her. He was in her field of vision, where she couldn’t ignore him. A hint of pink graced the edge of his green eyes, but his lips were set in an almost determined look, and she wondered if he would stumble over his words again.
“My father was just arrested for being Hawk Moth, my mother was found in my basement, I lost the only home I ever knew to police investigations, and suddenly guardians were at my door asking for Plagg—all in one day. Choose a reason, Marinette.” It wasn’t vile, it wasn’t angry, it wasn’t even cold. She didn’t know how to describe it.
“You disappeared.”
“I couldn’t stand to be in Paris any longer.”
“You didn’t tell me.”
“What would I say?!” He replied, his voice loud, far louder than he obviously intended. He flinched as it echoed through the air, and suddenly she was all knives and anger.
“Hello Marinette,” she responded, “or should I say Ladybug, the girl I’ve claimed to be in love with for six years! It’s been great, a fun time and all, but man am I tired—see you in three years without a single message! Good luck wondering if it’s because of you, if you being the girl behind the mask is what changed it all, even though the only difference was one scrap of red fabric!” She glared, sitting up, “Miss. You.”
“You think that’s how it was?” He began, his eyebrows narrowed as he raised from his arms, his eyes staring holes into hers. “I told you…”
“You’d love whoever was behind the mask,” she finished, pushing off of the ground. “But let’s be honest here—Not Lila, not Chloe, and not me. Never me.” She stumbled to her feet, gripping the wall as she finally stood. “I told you who I was, and you were terrified! I saw it, I knew! I should have known why—"
“Because you’re you, because you’re Marinette, because you’re--” he was scrambling to his feet, scrambling to keep her there, scrambling to make some sort of sense.
“Because I’m Marinette?” She repeated, and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to hear the mistake. To know that she was right, that this was all some stupid curse put upon her by a universe that would thankfully, in a month’s time, solve the situation.
“That’s not—Jesus Christ, I—”
He didn’t need to say more.
She began to walk away, to risk the treacherous river waves. Anything was better than this, anyone was better than him—
“Because you’re perfect,” he called before she could even begin to walk out that stupid door, and every cell in her body stopped moving. “Because you’re pretty and you’re kind. Because you have a perfect family and everyone loves you, Nino loves you, Alya loves you, I—” He thought better of saying whatever came next there. “Because you were going to be a fashion designer, and the best one anyone’s ever seen. Because you try to be good to everyone you meet. Because at the end of the day you’ll always be good, too good for me, and I’m…”
“You’re,” she was surprised that she asked it, that she could process anything.
And there was a pause, a long, heavy one. One where anything, any combination of words could go wrong.
“Because people would see you walking beside me, and you would still be good, and you would still be kind and you would still be gentle; but they’d see none of that. Because they’d look over and see me. They’d see what my father made and what my father ruined.” Quietly, he confessed, “you would be perfect and none of that would matter, because they’d look over and see Hawkmoth’s son.”
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iamanartichoke · 3 years
Note
Natalie Holt implying that Loki slept with Sif before cutting off her hair honestly makes my blood boil. The first Thor movie showed us a sympathetic character that was an outcast in Asgard, and a scapegoat in his family. Everything now just seems like Marvel trying to take all of that away. So many people are saying, "Well, now I know why Sif doesn't like him, lol!" And that is exactly as intended. We are supposed to see Loki as an ass and everyone else as a saint for putting up with him. :(
I'm just really baffled at how it's either a) supposed to make sense, or b) explain anything about their dynamic?
Like, okay, let's assume that they do hate each other bc they slept together. Why would that be? Even if you catch feelings and get rejected, that's not really justification to hate someone. Ideally you'd just go your own separate ways but since Loki and Sif shared a social circle, that probably wasn't an option, in which case the next best thing is to just be civil while you move on/get over the feelings. No hatred necessary, and certainly not for centuries.
I don't believe that either of them is stubborn enough to harbor a grudge over being rejected. Sif bc I wouldn't believe that she caught feelings for Loki anyway, and Loki bc while he would certainly be hurt, and his pride would be wounded, I just don't see him holding onto that for longer than it would take for him to move past it.
And where is the hair-cutting supposed to come in? Are we implying here that Loki is so childish and petty that he cut off Sif's hair in retaliation for her not returning his feelings? (Seeing it written down like that, I am guessing this is exactly the implication, bc of course it is, smh.) Was he 12 when they fucked, or ??
So here's the thing, though. You pointed out that the first Thor movie showed us a sympathetic character who was an outcast and a scapegoat but no, actually, it didn't. Thor 1 showed us a jealous, vindictive loner turned villain. That's the problem - the MCU isn't taking anything away as much as they're trying to re-establish the characterization they intended for him to have all along.
Thor 1 left things out that would provide more context to Loki's motivations. Thor 1 actively deleted scenes that showed Loki as sympathetic. Thor 1 set up a "good brother vs evil brother" black-and-white dichotomy between Thor and Loki, in which the narrative and the supporting characters all behaved as though Loki was innately the evil brother and there wasn't even a question about that. Thor 1 was Thor's movie, and while I obviously have no problem with that, it being Thor's movie means that to a lot of the audience, Loki was never going to be perceived as sympathetic. In order to make Thor the hero of his story, Loki has to be the villain and most people just accept that at face-value.
Is Loki sympathetic? Yes. Was he an outcast in his society and a scapegoat in his family? Yes. Was he evil at heart? No. Did he do bad things? Yes. Did he intend for them to turn out as terribly as they did? No. Etc.
These are all things that a lot of us know because we've taken the time to know them. One needs to be interested/invested enough in Loki to make the effort of interpreting his motivations and his characterization but, that said, having a vested enough interest in Loki to be an active fan doesn't necessarily mean interpreting him sympathetically. There's this weird divide and things that seem obvious in hindsight, such as Loki's sympathy as a character or the nuances of what he was really trying to achieve in Thor 1, are things that a lot of the audience + his fandom either don't pick up on or don't care to see.
There's a reason 2011-13 Loki isn't as popular as Ragnarok Loki. There's a reason there are so. many. posts. in this fandom that start off with "I love Loki, but -" and then proceed to drag him. There's a reason why a lot of his fans are like "lol I mean he did murder all those people though?" or why the "you just like Loki/apologize for Loki bc you want to fuck Tom" argument is so prevalent. There's a reason why headcanons like "Loki just fucked his way into the GM's inner circle" are treated as canon, or why nobody questions whether or not it actually made sense for Loki to randomly betray Thor right before the obedience disk scene.
The reason is that Thor 1 didn't show us who Loki really was, and because of his portrayal in that movie and in Avengers (subtext and word-of-god confirmation is clearly insufficient for the wider audience to realize that Loki wasn't acting of his own accord - no, he's just evil), there are very many fans who are just never going to see him as anything besides villainous at worst or "a fun but greasy little shit" at best, who causes trouble and does shitty things for the lulz.
"Loki cut Sif's hair for no other reason than to be a dick after they fucked" falls perfectly in line with that characterization, and the result is that you get tons of fans who are like "LOL that's SO Loki!" or "No wonder Sif hates him!" etc. And if, in 2021, ten years after Loki was introduced into the MCU, people are still coming away from his narrative arc + his own series believing that he is, or ever was, just a rotten little shit who caused trouble for the lulz? Then that is clearly the Loki that they see, that they stan, and that means whatever he means to them, and regardless of how our portion of the fandom may object and cry foul, there's honestly just nothing we can do about it.
So, I mean, there we are. People can feel however they want about Loki. It is what it is. And I think I'm just tired of getting upset about it. Re Loki/Sif, I will share my opinion that it's a trash headcanon and laugh at it, but I'm tired of allowing myself to get genuinely upset about how other people perceive this character, especially when there's nothing I can do about it and the only person who ends up suffering is me when my mental health spirals downward (bc I care way too much about fiction and I have no problem admitting it).
I didn't intend for this to be so long, and obviously this is not any kind of rebuttal against you or your ask personally, anon. It just gave me an opportunity to put into words what I've been feeling for quite awhile. It is what it is.
I also feel it's worth mentioning, again, that I think Natalie's soundtrack is absolute fire and I have nothing but respect for her as the composer in this series, but I do not think that earns her any merit in how she perceives these characters. Loki/Sif is her headcanon, and she also said that Loki looks at Sylvie the way he looks at his mother, which is like, and how do you think he's looking at his mother, Nat? Cause uh. I don't think they are the same. I know most people won't agree, but I feel like her words need to be taken with a grain of salt and not accepted as canon based on nothing more than her position of being someone who worked on the show.
I should put this behind a cut, but meh. Also, I know a lot of people reblogged/added onto my Loki/Sif post from last night and I was going to engage but I just don't have time, so please accept this as my general response + stance on the entire clusterfuck.
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karasuno-chaos · 3 years
Text
The Next Step (Akaashi x Reader)
When your roommate surprises you with an unexpected question, you know it will be impossible to keep things between you the same.
Word Count:  1,159
Masterlist
He says it softly in an off-hand way that makes it seem like he’s not being serious.  You are putting away groceries, moving around each other in a dance of domesticity developed after two years of sharing an apartment.  You reach around him to slide a box of snacks into a cupboard and catch a glimpse of his face.  It is neutral, but the type of carefully controlled neutrality you’ve come to recognize when he’s hiding his real emotions.  If he were actually joking, he’d be grinning.  As in most things, Akaashi is being serious.
You replay his words in your mind as you reach into the shopping bag for a bottle of soy sauce.  Do you ever imagine us dating?  Because I do.  How are you supposed to respond?  Is it an innocent question, or does he expect this conversation to lead somewhere?  Knowing him, he is waiting for your reaction before deciding how to spin it, which means he is prepared to pursue this wherever you want to take it.
“And how often do you imagine this?” you ask playfully, buying yourself some time while the giddiness settles within you.  “Is this a frequent thing or a thought experiment for when you’re bored?”
He smiles a little because you didn’t say no, but he can tell you’re deflecting.
“You answer my question, then I’ll answer yours.  It’s only fair.”
You smile as you tuck the reusable shopping bags into the closet.  That’s how you’d classify your relationship, as a give and take on equal terms.  It’s why you make good roommates.  Communication, compromise, and cooperation make sharing a rather small apartment comfortable.  It’s also why you miss him when he has to work late or travel, and why you always look forward to returning home after your day’s activities.
You look at Akaashi after closing the closet behind you.  He’s turning the bottles of spices so all of their labels face forward.  He likes to keep busy, especially when he’s waiting.  It’s one of the many quirks you’ve noticed about him, like his preference for blue ink pens and the way he taps his arm when deep in thought.  Those little details have become increasingly endearing over the last year.
“Sometimes,” you say simply, answering his question.  “The idea does cross my mind.”
He can’t stop the smile that pulls at his lips, but his hands continue arranging the spices.  He is deciding how to continue your conversation.  You both know what the outcome will be.  You’ve felt the subtext build over your time together.  A few extra glances when you think the other isn’t looking.  Small gestures of kindness and affection.  Lingering touches that set your skin on fire.  A new tension in quiet moments that leaves you wanting more of him.  It is only a matter of time until you accept what has bloomed between you.  You’re just a little surprise his patience ran out before yours did.
You grab two mugs from one of the cupboards and start boiling water for tea.  You don’t have to ask what blend he wants or whether he needs milk and honey.  He finishes his task, and you feel his gaze while you prepare the tea.  Your skin prickles as warm anticipation fills you, but you wait.  He still hasn’t answered your question.
“I avoided thinking about it at first,” he says as though you’re discussing his day at work and not his daydreams about you.  “I mean, we live together.  I didn’t want things to be strange.”
“Thank you for being so considerate,” you say, pouring the freshly boiled water into the mugs and setting a timer to steep the tea.
“I try,” he grins.
“Maybe not hard enough if you kept thinking about it.”
He’s quiet, and when you glance at him, feel a little bad for the worry in his eyes.  He’s second-guessing himself, already calculating whether he can pretend this is just a casual conversation.  He’s afraid of ruining the balance you’ve achieved in your apartment, but you know it’s a fragile balance that can’t last much longer.
“Keiji, I’m just messing with you.”  You push a mug toward him, the tea leaves discarded.  “I get it.  As soon as the idea of dating crossed my mind, it was like I couldn’t stop wondering…”
“Wondering what?”  The worry has left his eyes.  The amount of trust between you makes you a little proud.  He understands your words as you mean them, and you read his intentions even when they aren’t clear.
“What it would be like, mostly.  What would change.  Whether you’d want it, too.  How long I could hide it before you noticed or I drove myself crazy.”  You sip your tea, wanting to study his face for a reaction but scared to meet his eyes.  “What did you think about?”
“The same,” he says, “but mostly this.”
You quirk an eyebrow.  “You kept imagining us having tea?  We do that a lot.”
“I mean the little experiences we share.  Grocery shopping, cooking dinner, cleaning the apartment, things like that.”
“So just living together?  I’m pretty sure we’ve got that figured out already.”
“We do,” Akaashi agrees with a small smile, “and it’s those little moments that make me think I might love you.”
Once again, his simple honesty catches you off guard.  Your eyes fly to his, searching for...what?  You’re not sure, but you see affection and hope burning in his gaze.
“You think you might?” you ask softly as warmth creeps up your neck.
“I’d like to find out if you want to.”
The warmth fills you in a rush and buzzes through your nerves.  You feel the weight of the invitation.  Your answer will change the dynamics of your relationship.  This is a conversation you can’t turn away from.
But you don’t want to.  This is the moment you’ve imagined over and over in recent months.  The importance gives you pause, but you are excited, too.  Akaashi is right.  Those little moments you share as roommates are one change of perspective away from being part of a romance, your romance.  You want this.
You reach along the counter to touch the hand he has wrapped around his mug.
“Okay,” you say, a smile dancing on your lips, “let’s find out.”
You watch the excitement spread across his face.  He lets go of his mug to lace your fingers together.  Holding hands is a new sensation.  You like the way it feels.  It’s tentative and unsure, but it feels as comfortable as breathing.
You realize there will be a lot of little new experiences like this.  You already feel the minute shift in your feelings now unfettered by caution.  Everything is suddenly fresh and new as though changed, yet everything is virtually the same.  You squeeze Akaashi’s hand gently, admiring the way his gaze softens at your affection.  You can’t wait to navigate this next step of your relationship together.
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