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boygiwrites · 9 months

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Harley D. Dixon 2

An amazing edit inspired by this story! (Cred to Cora_Line99) Harley D. Dixon's Pinterest Board! Harley D. Dixon's Playlist!

📖Chapter List.

Author's Note. Get ready for the first major change in the canon story-line hehe

Please enjoy reading! :)

"You want me to sing tonight, chicken?"

It's way past my bed-time. The sky looks like a giant film of blue cellophane above us, with millions of little white holes poked through. I pick out the shiniest one, 'cause that one's my Momma. Then I realise I gotta pick one out for Uncle Merle, now, too, so I pick the one right next to Momma's and wish him goodnight in my head.

After my Dad dragged all our stuff further into the woods, because we shouldn't sleep next to people we don't trust, we curled up in his camping chair and we haven't moved since. I'm wrapped up in a grubby gray blanket that I think used to be white, 'cause it's all we got, and I'm wearing two pairs of socks plus my Dad's jacket but it's still cold. I feel like a baby joey in a Momma kangaroo's pouch. Through the trees, I can see the main camp's fires all glittering like tiny orange fireflies and I can hear 'em all laughing. I think they're celebrating. Me and my Dad — We're mourning.

Tomorrow, they're heading back to the city to look for my Uncle Merle, even though we all know he's dead already. He's dead and he's gone and he ain't never coming back, so why does my Daddy wanna go get killed, too? Don't he know I need him?

"I don't wanna go to sleep."

"Well," He reminds me, "Sometimes it don't matter what little girls want. I'm sayin' it's time to sleep, so it's time to sleep."

If he wanted to talk about it, I'd tell him that I don't wanna go to sleep because it means that when I wake up, it'll be the day my Daddy either dies in the city or he doesn't, and then I'll be all alone forever. I don't wanna pick a star out for my Dad. But I don't tell him any of this.

"Now, you want me to sing, or not?" He asks me again.

"I said," And half-way through I'm huffing this out, I know I've made a mistake, but I keep goin', anyway, because at least if I make him super angry, he might wanna talk. Unlike Officer Rick, my Dad is easy to make angry. "I don't wanna go to sleep."

I feel his stomach fill with air underneath me. "Scuse me?"

I twist to face him. Half his face is glowing from the fire, and the other half is glowing just from how mad he is.

"I... don't... wanna," I spell it out real slow. That's what people do when someone's not listenin' properly. "Go... to... sleep."

I hear main camp laughing again. For just a second, I wish I was over there, instead.

I look my Dad in the eye. It's really hard.

"You lookin' for a spanking, Harley Dixon?"

"No," My voice wobbles.

"'Cause you keep back-chattin' me, that's where you're headed."

"But—"

"What I just say?"

I snap my mouth shut like a kettle lid. Does he even have the words in him? Do I gotta beat on his chest 'till they come flying out? Do I gotta kick and yell and scream 'till he can't hold 'em in anymore? What do I gotta do to make him talk? How am I meant to like it over here, in this lonely camp with no Momma and no Uncle and maybe after tomorrow, no Dad, neither?

"Quit that look, Harley Dixon. I'm warnin' you."

"No."

"You really gonna make me repeat myself?"

I snap.

"Maybe I'on care!" I shout. We're both shocked. Then, he's about to lay me over his knee and whoop me 'till I'm black and blue, but I don't stop for nothin'. "Maybe I'on give a crap! I said I don't wanna go to sleep, so why you makin' me? I don't wanna! Uncle Merle's dead! He's dead and you don't even care!"

"How can you say tha—"

"You don't care because you're goin' back to the city tomorrow and you're gonna die, and I'm gonna be alone again, and you don't even care! Uncle Merle is dead! Just like Momma, he's dead!"

"We don't know that, Harley."

"Yeah, we do! Rick killed 'im, and now he's dead."

"That ain't true. Harley, you listen—"

He grabs my arms, but I smack him away. He gets angrier.

He points a finger in my face. "Do not fuckin' hit me, girl."

"I'on care."

Now he really grabs me, and it's so tight I can't smack him at all, or wriggle, or even look away. I see two miniature versions of our campfire in his eyes, burning away. It's a familiar look. I start to cry. I wish I wasn't here. I wanna be in main camp, where they're laughing.

"You stop this bullshit right now, Harley." He says, low. "I don't know what's gotten into you, but if it don't stop right this second, you're gonna regret it. You understand? Don't you ever hit me again. I'm leavin' tomorrow, and that's final."

"But why?"

"'Cause I'm choosin' to believe in yer Uncle Merle. You heard what all them said. There's a chance he ain't dead, and that's a chance I'm gonna take, because I'm a Dixon. Dixons look out for each other." He gives me a little shake. "If it were either one of us in that city, he'd be raisin' Hell on his way there already. Now, I don't wanna hear another word outcher mouth 'bout this. No more tears, neither. Got it?"

It's still not good enough. I want more.

"You wouldn't go back for Momma." I mutter, before I even realise that's what I've chosen to say. Somehow, that's the worst thing I've told my Dad all night, and I didn't even need to shout it. We stare at each other for a bit. "You wouldn't go back for her. You killed her."

I promised I'd never bring it up again, but there it is. I said it.

I think I might throw up again.

Just like that, our argument is over. He doesn't say anything, and then I don't say anything, either, and the not-saying-anything keeps going until we're back to sitting against each other in silence. The moon is high in the trees, now. One by one, the orange blips in the distance die. The chatter gets quieter and quieter until it's gone, and then me and my Dad are truly alone. He holds me tight, but it doesn't feel nice like it did before. It just feels like we're back to square one, because we are, and everything is a little to the left. Like when you get a pebble in the corner of your shoe, and you gotta walk a little funny to pretend it's not there, but it is, and you can feel it, and you hate it.

"You want me to sing for you, chicken?"

This time, I just say yes.

I watch the cube van drive into the distance until it's a white speck.

Dale stands next to me, even after everyone else has shuffled back to camp. "You've probably heard this from ten other people by now," Dale says, holding onto the strap of his heavy sniper rifle, "But your Dad? Well, he's going to be just fine. Toughest man in camp, I'd say."

My Dad, he's tough as nails, and he could shoot a walnut off a fencepost from a mile away, but he's also just a man. He's just skin and bones and blood like everyone else, like me, like deer and squirrels, and a bite from a dead person will kill him just the same. I don't say this to Dale.

He doesn't seem to mind. "Do you remember your first day here?"

A strange thing to ask. 'Course I remember. "What about it?"

"Things were a little more desperate, back then. We'd just ran out of our last tin of beans. People were hungry. I remember your Dad spent the whole morning telling people to leave him alone, because everybody was just begging him to go hunting. I think I did, too." Dale laughs. "One by one, he shot them all down. We were all so sure we'd have to start rationing. Then, the next morning, I go to wash my face behind the RV, and what do I see? Your Dad, dinged up and covered in sweat, dragging this... just... huge, simply huge... deer, into camp. I was gobsmacked. I remember thinking, 'who on Earth could have possibly convinced this stubborn man to go hunting'? Then, later in the day, I see him handing you a bowl of fried deer meat, happy as a clam, and that's when I knew he did it all for you. Tooth and nail, he made sure you were fed. And that's how I know he's coming back."

I think about all the times my Dad's done somethin' like that for me, like with Ronnie, and I feel a little better. My Momma once said my Dad would crawl back out of Hell on hot coals for me, and that I should never forget that. I feel bad for forgetting.

"I didn't tell him I love him, before he left." I admit to Dale. "I was real mean to him last night. I wish I told him."

"That's okay," Dale bumps my shoulder, and when I look up, there's a smile in his white beard. He winks. "I think he knows. Dads always know."

Something about Dale's cheeky attitude makes me giggle. I think I believe him.

"Now, lucky for us, we're certainly not short on food around here anymore. So, how about we go get you some breakfast?"

The day goes by like it always does, 'cause it don't know any better.

I can see Amy and Andrea fishing from the bank of the lake. Their boat looks like a little grain of salt in the middle of a giant green coin.

I'm up to my knees in the water. I'm trying to catch frogs. I'm missing. Shane and Carl are here, too, because even though we ate a whole sleeve of cheese and onion crackers for breakfast, Officer Shane says frog legs are gonna be all the rave, soon, when the peaches and jerky run out. We told him that's super gross, but he just smacked his lips and told us to grab our hats. We gotta do things like this, now. Things like sharing one tube of toothpaste, and only using two squares of toilet paper when you gotta go, and the adults gotta try and make it sound fun.

I hear Carl somewhere down the rocks, going awww and man 'cause he keeps missing, too. All I know 'bout Carl is he can't spell 'adventure'.

"Hey, man, it happens. How you doin' over there, Harley?" Officer Shane asks me. "You managed to catch any of the little suckers yet?"

"No, not yet." I say. "But I can see 'em."

When we first got down here, Shane asked us kids to provide a little muscle for him. Shane's got plenty of muscle, already. He was just kiddin'. He does that a lot, and his laugh is real loud. He also gives high fives that knock you on your butt, and he's got a heavy walk and a dog tag. I think he must have taught little league, or somethin', before, 'cause he talks like a teacher. All fun and games, but also lots of rules. Like how if you say a bad word, he flicks you on the ear and tells you to mind your language.

I'm still not used to any of these people talking to me. I think they're just glad I ain't biting and hitting on them, anymore.

"How many's in there?" Shane wades over to me.

The only reason I trust Shane is because he's an adult, and adults can be trusted.

I count the frogs. "Um... Three."

"Three? Hm, talk about a gold mine, huh?" He laughs and, yep, it's real loud. "Let's see if I can't help you out here."

He sets our bucket down, which has two wet frogs slipping around inside it.

He rubs his hands together. "C'mon, girl. Let's catch us some frog legs."

He says they eat frog legs in France. I never knew that before today. French people are weirdos.

"You gotta get 'em quick, 'cause they're quicker." I warn Shane. It's something my Dad says 'bout squirrels and possums, so I say it now, too.

"Sure are." Shane agrees. "How 'bout I scare 'em out, and you try grabbin' one?"

"With my hands?"

"What? You plannin' on using your feet?" Shane grins, and he splashes me. I giggle. "C'mon. Get ready."

Officer Shane rolls up his blue sleeves. I take three long steps backward and squat a little, like I'm playin' basketball or somethin', and then Shane grabs the metal bucket and clangs it against the rocks, and all three of the fat froggies come bursting out into the water like wind-up toys. I almost panic — almost — but that's what idiots do, so I steel myself, which means I'm not an idiot. I lunge at the closest frog and wrap my hands around the green blob it makes under the ripples.

When I pull my hands out, I realise I've caught it. It's real wriggly and its skin is cold.

I jump a little, smiling wide. "Look, Shane! I got one!"

"Way to go, Harley!" Shane says, and if I pretend hard enough, it sounds like my Dad's accent praising me instead. "Look at you!"

I drop the frog in the bucket. I hear cheering, and when I look out, I see it's Amy and Andrea. They're clapping. I guess they were watching. Carl comes hopping over, too, and tells me I did a good job. I know he's a bastard cop, and I know his friend murdered my Uncle, but maybe Shane ain't so bad. He makes me miss my teachers. Maybe this group ain't so bad. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

We call it a day after that, and we squeeze out all the water in our clothes on the gravel shore.

"C'mon, y'all," Shane says, "Time to haul butt back to camp."

What he really means to say is ass.

The sky goes from blue to purple, and soon, it'll be black.

We're gonna have a feast tonight. A fish feast.

Dale, who's sitting up on the RV, because he's like a barnacle on a boat, reads us a poetry book while we scrape scales off of fish with plastic spoons. After the book runs out, we pop cassettes in the radio. It's nothin' like what my Dad listens to. It's too nice.

I try really hard not to think about my stomach. It hurts real bad, which is what happens when you're nervous. I realise, a little guiltily, that I almost haven't thought about my Daddy or my Uncle Merle all day, until just now. I say sorry to them in my head, because I didn't do it on purpose, I promise. I was just focused on other things, like doing dishes, and getting my hair brushed by Lori, and strippin' fish skin. It was easy, during the day. But it's gettin' late, now, and every minute that goes by, I'm closer to being the only kid in camp with nobody to tuck me into bed.

I'm standing on a crate, which means I'm almost as tall as all the ladies. Makes me feel a little better. All women remind me of my Momma.

Maybe if I ask, Lori can tuck me in tonight.

"Hey, Harley, you're doin' real good over there." Jacqui tells me. The sun's on her shoulder. "Doin' better than me, at least."

I mumble a thank you, because it's good manners. I done dressed plenty of fish before. It's easy. Like peelin' bananas.

"Our Dad used to take us girls fishing all the time." Andrea tells us. "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, you name it. We were out on the water."

"Sounds fun," Lori says. "I always wanted to go fishing with Rick and Carl, but it never happened. We were indoor people."

Jacqui laughs. "Not anymore, you're not."

Lori makes a face. "You don't gotta tell me twice."

"What about you, Harley?" Asks Amy. "Your Dad ever take you fishing?"

There it is again; my stomach climbing up the back of my throat like a balloon. "Uh," I mumble. "Yeah. A lot."

Carol asks me, "You like it? Being on the water?"

"It's okay if you don't." Amy scrunches up her nose, smiling. "I was never that into it. Motion sickness 'n all."

I'm about to say no, I didn't like it, but something stops me. It's true, I never liked stabbing the alive worms on the hook, or gettin' sunscreen smeared all over my face, or carrying all them heavy buckets full of crayfish and bluegills back to the truck, but that doesn't matter. I was with my Dad. And I liked that. So, "I liked it," I say. "We went every weekend, in Dad's boat. It was sorta old, but he liked it a whole lot. He let me name it."

Lori smiles. Lori loves when people tell nice stories. "What'd you choose?"

"I named it after our old dog." I tell her. Hey, I'm smiling. "His name was Tank. So, Dad's boat was, 'The Tank'."

Lori pouts. She loves animals, too. "Aw. That's nice. We had a dog."

"What was his name?"

"Fido," She scoffs. "You can thank Carl for that one."

"I can't imagine Daryl lettin' anybody tell him what to do," Amy chuckles. "He's always so grouchy."

Dale must be eavesdropping, because he leans over his fold-out chair and calls down to us, "Now, now, remember that time with the deer?"

The story he told me this morning, to make me feel better.

All at once, the women start giggling together, and nodding, yes, they do remember that time with the deer. I catch it, like a stomach bug, and I start giggling, too, because I guess it is kinda funny. My Dad, with his squinty eyes and angry mouth and big, scarred fists, doin' whatever I tell him to. I never saw it like that, because it's always the other way 'round. For the first time today, I'm thinking of my Dad, and it doesn't hurt, not one bit.

"Like a gaggle of geese over there," Shane shakes his head from the fire. He's laughin', too. Bunch of eavesdroppers, these people. "Get back to work!"

"Yes, sir!" Andrea salutes, rolling her eyes.

We can't stop giggling.

The fish fry is, basically, a family barbeque.

My dinner is hot, and greasy, and it's even got yellow rice and onions in it, like takeaway. Takeaway is always good. Around the fire, all I see are happy faces and all I hear are jokes, and gasps, and laughter. They're talking about college, and how Lori used to wear the ugliest skirts, and how, yes, Shane can confirm, he was there to see it and, no, it wasn't pretty. When I look through the trees, I imagine me and my Daddy's sad little camp on the other side, abandoned. I was right. It is better over here. I hope he would think so, too.

"W— Hey! They were in style, back then!" Lori holds her fork up, like a pointing finger. "Everyone was wearin' them!"

"Oh, I remember." Shane shakes his head. "N— No, listen, I remember, alright! So short it was like a damn belt!"

Amy slides off her tennis shoe and launches it at Shane's legs. "You can't argue with fashion, Shane!"

He laughs. "Oh, that's what that was? Fashion?"

"Hey, I got some pretty nasty pictures of you with that damn perm on your head, so you might wanna quit while you're ahead." Lori sasses.

We all picture Shane with a mop of curly poodle hair, prolly posing like He-Man, and we all roar with laughter again.

Up until the very last grain of rice gets eaten, we talk about everything and anything, because stories are all we got to give each other anymore, Dale says. Dale talks about how he planned to take a trip around the state with his wife, in their RV, but she passed away before it could happen. So, when the world ended, he was in a gas station, buying ice creams and lookin' at maps, 'cause he was doin' the trip on his own. He says he's glad that all the small decisions he's made in life has led him to this quarry, with these people. Everybody calls him a sap, but he gets a side-hug from Jacqui. He smiles over the fire at me. Andrea and Amy talk more about their Dad.

I talk about the tyre swing I used to have, in my yard. Shange suggests building one here, too.

Jim talks a little about his old job as a mechanic. Morales talks about how much he misses his recliner.

"Aw, man, I'm telling you," He groans, like he's in a deep, deep pain. "It was remote-controlled, and it had blue-tooth, and everything."

Shane slaps him on the back. "Too bad the world ended; Had to get off your fat ass!"

More and more warm, silly laughter.

It's around us kid's bed-time when Dale checks his watch.

The other kids all complain straight away, but we get dragged away, anyway. I can hear my Daddy's voice in my head, telling me sometimes it don't matter what little girls want. Lori and Carol take us around the back of Shane's Jeep, where all the bathroom stuff gets kept, like the gallon jugs of water, the towels, and stuff Glenn brings back from runs. We brush our teeth, and splash our hair with water, and use baby wipes on our armpits.

I can see the tippy-tops of the city's tallest buildings from here, like skinny black popsicle sticks in the smog. I keep lookin' back, for my Dad.

I'm lookin' right now. Everyone else is trying to find Sophia's hairbrush in one of the bags, but I'm not helping. I can't look away.

There's a figure, stumbling up the road.

At first, I think it's my Dad, somehow. When you're expecting somethin' so much and for so long, and with all your heart, it's the first thing you think of. Even if it makes no sense. If they were really back, they'd all be together; Glenn, T-Dog, Daddy, and Rick, because my Daddy would make them all stick together, 'cause he's smart like that. But the shadow's alone. And he's got a limp. Just a little one. He hop-shuffle-hop-shuffles closer to us. No, no it's not my Dad. There's no crossbow; no big boots, no backpack. The shoulders aren't wide enough. Actually, the shoulders aren't wide at all. They're droopy. Too droopy, like they're... like they're melting off the bone, like hot cheese melts off pizza.

I hear a gurgle through the night. That's when it all makes sense.

"Walkers!"

And one second after that, the fish feast goes to Hell.

Someone snatches my wrist. We go rushing back into camp, where there's people, and lights, and noise. And shouting. Lots and lots of shouting; so much shouting it's like being stuck inside a beehive. I see flashes of legs and t-shirts and hands pulling me around, toward the bonfire. The bonfire must be brighter than a lighthouse out here, in the dark. Suddenly, I'm noticing everything wrong with the fish fry. The smells, the noise. I'm remembering my Daddy's rules, 'bout how loud is dangerous and dangerous is stupid and oh God — I can hear Amy shrieking like a piglet, near the RV. I hear shotguns pumping and bullets exploding and sloppy plops of skin falling of the dead people afterwards. I'm screaming.

The bag — The emergency bag, the one in our tent. I should grab it, right? That's what I'm supposed to do, right? So we can live?

"Lori!" Shane's hollering. "Carl! Harley! Where are you?"

"We're over here!" Lori cries.

"Start moving!"

Everywhere, everywhere, legs, legs, legs, all rotten and slimy and dead. Then, a gap, filled with darkness. The tent is out there. The bag.

I can make it. I know I can.

"Harley!"

That's Lori, screaming like she's never screamed before, because I just broke away from her, and I can feel something hot sliding down my arm, and it must be blood, 'cause she must have ripped my arm open with her short razor nails. I run straight for the gap in the wall of dead people, and I throw myself past them, like they're bowling pins and I'm the ball, and then I'm on the other side, in the dark, dark woods, running, running, running, all by myself. I remember the path to our camp. Big rock, little tree, old fence. It's all there, it's just covered in night.

I hear Shane yelling for me, and Morales, too, and more screaming, more dying.

A dead man slams into me. We go tumbling into the branches and the leaves, and then down a little hill, and then into a ditch. I smack his growling face away from mine, and I kick his stomach, and I wriggle away. The dirt is slipping away from underneath me, like dust, but the roots are easy to climb so I climb those, and the dead man follows me out. He's swiping at my ankles, scampering for my legs, slobbering on his lips.

His nails catch my arm.

I see the tent.

I'm running again, but only for a second. It's my pants. They're stuck. The dead man's grabbing onto them. I kick his fingers off.

"Get away," I grunt.

The pebbly ground barks under my shoes when I tear off again, and it only takes a couple heartbeats for me to reach my Dad's camping chair, and then the black fire pit, and then the truck, and then the tent. I rip open the zipper and fall inside. The bag, the bag, the bag. I scramble for my Dad's sleeping cot, and drop to my knees, and pat around all the spare shirts and pants and socks and blankets he's got stuffed under here, praying, please God, it's gotta be here, like he says it is. My fingers hit something soft, then something hard. A buckle. I grab. I pull.

It's the bag. It's the bag, with the compass and the rope and the matches. I did it.

A branch cracks. I look over my shoul—

The dead man crashes on top of me, all two hundred pounds, through the tent lining. He squirms against me like a finger in a glove.

I scuttle backward as fast I can, under the cot. The dead man flops and turns and twists until he finds the tent opening, and he slithers inside, 'cause he's a hungry animal and I'm his food. An electric lamp clicks on underneath my foot. The dead man's shadow gets projected onto all four of the tent walls; big, like the bogeyman. I hug the bag like a teddy bear and then that's it, and there's nowhere else to go. His fingers reach for me, and they look like big, black, dead spiders, all curled up. I see his face, now. It's shredded. It's beaten.

It's Sophia's Dad.

Something clamps around my shoe, and it's his teeth. A whole row of thick, white teeth. A bite.

I squeeze my eyes closed and hope my shoe's thick enough to keep me safe. There's nothin' else I can do.

Then, a great, big bang.

Then, hot, slippery puddles of blood, and little bits of neck and skin and jaw, splattered across my face. He slumps. Is it over? It's over? His head's cracked open like an egg, and his brains are leaking out like yolk. There's a bullet hole between my two feet. That means — That means someone shot his shadow, through the tent. Only someone with a very good shot could have made that, without killing me at the same time. I claw my way out from under all the blankets, and the body, and the cot. I can hear voices shouting, Oh Fuck, Oh God, and, Where are you, baby, and, If you hit my daughter, I will fucking end you.

The electric lamp flutters off.

The tent is ripped open.

I look up. I'm blinded by big, white circles of flashlight light. Someone gasps.

My chin crumples 'cause I'm crying, like a little baby.

Rick's standin' there, Sherriff's hat on, revolver smoking. Shane's there, too, wild-eyed, and very, very sweaty, with a shotgun. There's Glenn, panting. They look at the blood on the blankets, and the blood on my face, and their dead friend on the floor, with half a head. Then, they see the scratches on my arm, and for some reason, some of them look like they're about to throw up all over themselves. But the person in front, the person that got here first, that's my Dad. It's my Dad, and he's alive. He doesn't even stop to look, like the others. He doesn't care.

"Harley," He chokes, like he's been punched, and he drops to his knees in front of me. He presses me into his chest. He's alive. He's alive.

I'm alive.

"Daddy," I cough-sob, 'cause I can't help it.

I only ever call him Daddy instead of Dad in my head, or when I'm really, really upset.

He must notice, 'cause the hug gets tighter; safer. "Baby, I'm here. You're alright. You're alright. S'alright, now."

I bury my face in his sweaty, stinky, dirt-smeared neck, and I never wanna come back out. I sob and I sob and I sob, and I sob some more. He pets my hair and shushes me, like how he does when I get nightmares. We rock back and forth. I sob, sob, sob.

Someone says my Dad's name real weird, like they're boutta keel over, and only then I remember me and my Dad aren't the only two people in the world. Footsteps crinkle on the tent canvas. Someone kneels next to me. It's Rick. He takes off his hat and sucks in a breath, glances at the others — He steels himself — and then he gently grabs my green sleeve, and I wriggle into my Dad, who's lettin' him do this, and he slides it up my arm. Fresh claw marks, and blood, pouring down my skin. We stare at my arm for a long time. They glance at Sophia's Dad. Why are we staring at my arm?

I look at Rick. I look at Glenn; at Shane. I look at my Dad. He's gone white as a ghost.

"Harley, what is that?" He whispers to me.

I look back at my arm. It's just some stupid scratches. I wipe 'em away, 'cause I want 'em gone. "It's nothin'."

"Harley," He says again, this time with a very clear, very angry, no-nonsense voice. "You look me in the eye. What is that?"

Something is very, very wrong.

Glenn has to walk away.

"Wh—?" I shake my head, sniffing. Why do I feel like I'm in trouble? I didn't do nothin' wrong. "It's nothin'. Lori, she scratched me."

"It was Lori?" Rick raises his eyebrows, like it's very, very important that I'm not lying right now.

I'm not lying. Rick, he's a liar, but not me.

"Uh-huh." I nod hard, so they believe me. "It was Lori. H— He got me, too, I think, but it don't hurt. I promise. He ain't do it too hard."

I didn't say the right thing.

They're all looking at each other. They're speaking without talking, and I don't like it.

"Daddy, what's goin' on?" I'm mumbling now, 'cause I only want my Daddy to hear me, 'cause I'm scared. I'm really scared. I don't know what I did wrong, and I don't know what they're thinking about, but I'm sorry, and I'll never do it again. I was so busy worrying about the teeth in my shoe that I wasn't thinking about anything else. I think I should've been, though, and I'm sorry I wasn't. I'm sorry. All I know is that I'm sorry. I don't know why, but I'm sorry. Daddy picks me up, even though he's told me over and over I'm too old for that, now. He's shuddering.

"We'll check Lori's nails." Rick tells him, nice and steady. His police-man voice. "If there's blood under them—"

"This bastard's got blood unn'er his nails!" Dad gives Sophia's Dad a hard kick in the head. I shriek. "The stupid fuck! It don't fuckin' matter!"

"It does matter. It does." Rick keeps saying. "We can't make any conclusions. Not 'til then. We just can't."

"You wanna talk 'conclusions', officer? Let's talk 'conclusions'."

"Daryl, we'll figure this out."

"How the Hell did y'all even let this fuckin' happen?" Dad yells. "You're like a fuckin' bad luck charm, you people!"

"This is nobody's fault." Rick says, but he sounds like he knows he's lying.

I can hear people panicking far away, back at camp, in whispers. Glenn ran back there a few minutes ago.

"First my brother, now my—?" Dad cuts himself off. He's about to cry.

Nobody's got anything to say.

We listen to the sounds of leaves rustling and crickets chirping and the distant yelling and the breeze and my Daddy's big strong heartbeat, which is goin' buh-bump, buh-bump, buh-bump under my ear, real, real fast.

Shane steps forward, but it's all over already.

This is what it was like the night Tank got put down. I realise that I'm like Tank. Tank was dying. I'm a dying dog. The scratches on my arm, I get it now. They're from the dead man and they're from Lori at the exact same time, and until we know which it is, that means I'm dying. He scratched me — I remember, now. He got me. He did. I don't wanna be dying. I was alive just a second ago. I swear I was.

Unlike yesterday, Daddy doesn't bat Rick off when puts a hand on his shoulder. Something changed in the city today. I think we're all one team, now, even if my Daddy likes to bite and snap and blame. There's no more line between them and us. There's not two camps, anymore. Only one.

The stars are bright, tonight. I watch them twinkle over my Dad's head.

"If this happens," Daddy's voice cracks. "Every single one of you are gonna be real, real sorry."

Author's Note. Yep, you guessed it, Jim survives! And Harley is the one that gets attacked.

No more ominous hole-digging for you, Jim. Sorry.

Phew. This took a long time to write. I had to re-work almost every scene about four times, because some things just weren't working, and I had to delete some others. It all worked out in the end, though. Here we are with chapter two.

Please let me know what you think! :)

#the walking dead #twd fanfiction #twd #daryl dixon #parent daryl dixon #daryl dixon daughter #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon twd #rick grimes #angst #ao3 fanfic #fanfic #daryl dixon x reader

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marktuansvevo · 3 years

Text

baby fever

warnings; sexual content, slight cursing, lapslock, jinyoung is a gentleman

word count; just under 1,500

author’s note; im back with a little jinyoung fic!! i’m on week 12 of the semester so once the holidays roll around im going to try to be more active on here ♡ (also, if you want to check out my masterlist, you can find it here!)

you were putting yourself in a bad mood.

plain and simple.

it all started when jinyoung had accompanied you to your mother’s house for a family get together - your nephew’s 7th birthday party. it was hard getting over to your family home alone, nonetheless with your boyfriend. three of his castmates had gotten a stomach bug from a fancy restaurant they went to, so the whole crew got a weekend off. it was perfect timing for the two of you to enjoy a weekend off together at your family home.

the two of you mingled with your extended family, your family being more intrigued with jinyoung than with you. you couldn’t blame them - being in an actor was so much more exciting than being a sleep deprived college student. you absentmindedly listened to him tell stories from when he was on set that you’ve heard a million times. you didn’t mind, but he was always scared he was boring you, so he squeezed your hand as a way of saying thank you.

it wasn’t just all about him, though. jinyoung would always praise you about the grades you were earning; “did you know y/n got a 102% on her latest exam? she really is the smartest woman I know,” he would praise, making you blush as your relatives congratulated you.

you sat by jinyoung at the dinner table, feeling so at home. you knew he belonged with you. in years prior, you had always felt funny bringing significant others into your house — none of them ever fitting in right. now, sitting at the dinner table as your father laughed at one of jinyoung’s joke, you had never felt so complete.

you loved him so much.

dinner was over shortly, your nephew, siwoo, getting antsy waiting to open his presents. “auntie!!” he giggled. “come sit with me and read the cards.”

“siwoo, you’re a big boy now, you can’t read?” you teased him as you let him climb into your lap, handing the presents to him.

“this one is from you!!” he squealed, tearing the iron man bag open and yelling in surprise at the iron man costume, all your relatives giggling at him. “can I put it on??”

“sure, baby, after you open the rest of the presents!”

“oh yeah!” you giggled at him, looking over at your boyfriend who was taking pictures of you with siwoo. he winked when he realized you were staring.

the evening was winding down, a couple of your other younger cousins, siwoo, jinyoung and yourself were hanging out in the sunroom, watching iron man 3. siwoo sat in jinyoung’s lap (so you almost died of had a heart attack of cuteness). you giggled as your boyfriend dozed off, taking a picture of him to embarrass him...or maybe for your lock screen.

“jinyoung,” you cooed. “why don’t we get going?”

“what?? you guys can’t go??” siwoo groaned, his eyelashes pooling with tears. you frowned, you knew how tired the poor baby was.

“siwoo, honey don’t cry. me and uncle will be back tomorrow morning. hey, jinnie, im gonna go get my purse.”

“okay,” he kissed you, making the poor birthday boy wail harder.

“i hate you, jinyoung,” siwoo cried. not going to lie, that hurt, jinyoung thought to himself.

“hey, now what would auntie think if you heard you said that to me? she’d be so disappointed, sweetheart,” siwoo frowned, and muttered a small but sincere sorry. “it’s okay, siwoo.”

“its just that, grandma says you take auntie y/n away from us. that she doesn’t have time for us because she’s with you,” jinyoung didn’t think his feelings could be hurt anymore than earlier when the boy admitted his hatred for him, but kids were honest. it was` brutal. it hurt him because he knew your mother was saying this in front of your cousins, and very impressionable nephews.

“well, siwoo, did you know that your auntie,” he pauses for dramatic effect and lowers his voice. “did you know she works for iron man? and, as iron mans number one fan, you know they have very busy schedules right? y/n has to travel, all the while saving the world. does that make sense?” siwoo nods his head, eyes as big as saucers, taking in the information. “when I grow up, I want to be just like auntie!!”

jinyoung didn’t even know you were lingering in the doorframe, listening to his conversation. your heart and tummy were flooded with adoration for this man. no one else in the world could handle being verbally stomped on by a seven year old quite like jinyoung could.

you left, bidding siwoo a happy birthday, promising to come back in the morning, kissing your relatives goodbye as well.

the car ride home was met with comfortable silence, you staring out the window at the night sky and wondering how the hell you got so lucky.

you were going to pounce on him tonight.

as soon as you got into the hotel, you kissed him, soft and tender. “you’re so perfect, jinyoung,” you purred. his cheeks flamed up. “you know exactly how to work a room, but you never make it about yourself. a seven year old says he hates you and you take it in stride.”

“that actually made me want to cry,” he chuckled, letting you kiss him again.

“you’re perfect. i don’t know how i got so lucky....i love you so much, jinyoung,” his eyes softened.

“i love you too, baby...let me show you how much.”

your perfect boyfriend whisked you into the suite and onto the queen sized bed, taking his time removing your clothes. it was slow and passionate at first, and then became more feral, jinyoung whispering sweet nothings in your ear as he pounded into you, making you cry out. it was quite the contradiction, but it was delicious and you loved it. “y..y/n, i need to cum baby,” he warned as he was about to pull out. the two of you were too excited to be going on a weekend trip together that you forgot to bring condoms. sure, you were on birth control, but with his acting schedule and you still in your master’s program, it just wasn’t the right time for a baby.

jinyoung was about to pull out when you wrapped your legs around his torso, keeping him in you. “cum in me, jinyoung, please,” you begged him, smiling when he obeyed your request, moaning into your shoulder as he rode out his orgasm. he went limp against your body.

“i love you,” he muttered before falling fast asleep. you giggled, letting him doze off while laying on you. you didn’t mind, you wouldn’t be up much longer, anyways.

you woke up before jinyoung, pushing his sticky body off of you. he smiled, kissing your face. “you’re still afterglowing,” he mused. “my baby is the prettiest.”

“and you’re the most handsome,” you giggled. he smiled. “did you bring your birth control, baby? i can’t believe we forgot condoms.”

you stayed silent. his comment pissed you off for some reason. your smile was long gone. “because that would be the worst thing in the world, knocking me up?? god, jinyoung you can be so insensitive,” you cried as you sat up in bed, facing away from him.

“hey, y/n....what did i do?”

“you’re so fucking mean, jinyoung,” you were crying now, burying your face in your hands.

“why are you so upset with me, baby? i can’t help you if you wont tell me,” he said gently.

you did not deserve this man.

“I...i want our own siwoo, jinyoung. i want a mini jinyoung moving around in my belly. i want you to give me a baby, jinnie,” you were crying into his chest now.

“oh...baby...i can give you a baby...but i thought we agreed it’s too soon?” his eyes were as big as saucers now. “hey...talk to me baby.”

“i just want to be done with school. i want to get our lives going. i feel like im slowing us down. i just want a family with you. you are my family.”

“oh, honey...don’t wish our lives away. you’re right where you’re supposed to be. you’re not slowing anything down....hey look at me,” you did. “everything will fall into place. i will give you all the babies you want, love, okay? i love our future children, but i want to enjoy our time together, okay?”

“i know you’re right i know...i was literally blinded with baby fever seeing you with siwoo last night.”

“you’re going to be the best mommy, honey. look at this picture of the two of you,” he showed you his lockscreen — a candid of you with your nephew in your lap with your head thrown back in laughter. “you’re my whole world, y/n.” he smiled sincerely. “now, let’s go day drinking at your mom’s house!”

#got7 #got7 imagines #jinyoung #jinyoung imagines #got7 writings #jinyoung writings #park jinyoung imagines #park jinyoung writings

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dripkingpetey · 4 years

Text

love-e.pettersson

ive been working on this for a few days and im kinda proud of it! would love some feedback from you or requests for other story lines, i promise i’ll stop doing the friends to lovers storylines haha. i also accidentally deleted this and i was so sacred i couldnt get it back but here it is! i hope you enjoy.

*lowercase intended!*

2.2k words

he loves you, you know that right?

“why did you drag me here, i really don’t like hockey and you know that.” you said as you sighed to your bestfriend lucie while she pulls you down to your seats in rogers arena.

“i know you don’t.” lucie said with a bright smile on her face. “but, you’re gonna learn to like it.” you look at her in confusion. “so, this is your way of torturing me as if you don’t already torture me enough by bringing me to parties.” you said while sitting down and looking at the players who are starting to get on the ice. “maybe.” lucie said with a wide grin and a mischievous look on her face before puck drop starts.

you’ve never been big on hockey, which is surprising considering you have lived in vancouver your whole life and your family is super big hockey fans. you also aren't the most extroverted person. sure, you’d go out to bars sometimes but mostly just with your close friends.

“what part of this sport do you even like?” you said as the game is going into the third period the canucks are now up 4-1 against the opposing team which you don’t even really know who they are. “well, if I’m being honest some of them are really hot but mostly cause of the sport.” you scoffed at her response. “none of them are hot from where i can see.” lucie looked at you with a shocked look. “oh you’ll get it once you get to know the players more.” you give her a confused look and put your full attention back to the game.

canucks ended up winning the game 5-2, lucie was very happy about it and you could tell cause she wanted to go out for a couple drinks and you didn’t want to say no so you agreed to go.

you had been at the bar for about twenty minutes and lucie was already gone which isn’t surprising, she was probably sleeping with some guy right now.

you started to panic a little when a creepy old dude came up to you and started hitting on you. “hey pretty girl, want to come home with me?” he started putting his hand on your arm which was resting on the table. you look around for lucie in panic but she’s no where to be found.

you then feel a pair of arms sneak around your waist and you get even more freaked out.

“hey babe, sorry i was gone for so long.” elias says to you with a smile but then proceeds to give the creepy dude the alien death stare which worked. after the dude leaves elias faces you and starts speaking. “sorry i touched you like that, it looked like you were alone and that guy was creeping you out so i thought you could use some help.” he shoots an apologetic smile at you.

“its okay,” you give him a smile back. “thank you a lot actually, i have no idea where my friend went.” you take another look around the bar before looking back and him.

“i’m elias by the way.” he smiles at you while holding his hand out for you to shake it. “y/n.” you say before shaking his hand.

“so elias, what are you doing in this bar on a thursday night?” you gesture for him to sit down next to you. “if i told you, you wouldn’t believe me.” elias lets out a soft laugh while sitting down across from you. “tell me, i wanna know.” elias sighs lightly before he starts speaking again. “i’m with them,” he gestures over to brock, jake, quinn, thatcher and troy. you look over to see them all waving at you and laughing at elias, you laugh softly and wave back at the before turning your attention back to elias. “ah, so i’m guessing you’re on the canucks?”

elias lets out a nervous laugh. “yeah, why don’t we go somewhere else where the boys aren’t up my ass?” you take another sip out of your drink. “i would love to.” he holds out his hand for you and as you guys walk out you can hear the guys chirping, but when you look over to elias you can see him giving the death stare to the boys and it makes you laugh. “you have a scary death stare jeez.” elias leads you to his car. “that’s surprisingly what the fans love me for.” he smiles at you before opening the car

door for you.

“…and that’s all what led me to being on the canucks.” elias said to you while eating a chip out of the chip bowl you had prepared. it had been a couple hours since you guys left the bar and went back to your apartment, you don’t know why but it felt like you and elias had such a strong bond already that you both felt like you can talk for hours and hours and never get tired of each other, he felt the same way too. “jeez, i kinda sound like a douche. i’ve been talking about myself all night, please tell me more about you.” elias said to you while you laughed at his words.

“it’s all good, i’ve been the one asking questions anyways.” you smiled while responding to him. “no seriously, tell me something about you before i have to go which i really don’t want to by the way.”

you look at the time and realize its almost twelve am so you proceed to give him a quick response. “well, i’ve lived in vancouver my whole life. and i’m currently going to ubc as a nursing student.” you smiled at his now very amused face.

“see, that’s something i wouldn’t have known if you didn’t say it,” he laughs a little before he finishes his sentence. “can i get your number? i have practice early tomorrow morning but i’m free for the rest of the day if you want to hang out.”

you smile at his words and take his phone from him. “of course you can, i’m free tomorrow too just give me a call.” you said while handing his phone back to him after you’ve entered your number. elias gives you a wide grin and you both get up so you could walk him to the door. “goodnight elias.” you look up at him with a smile as he’s standing in the doorway. “goodnight y/n, sweet dreams.” he said and then started to walk down the hallway towards the elevator. “pettersson!” you called out at him and he turns around confused. “text me when you get home.” he gives you the thumbs up and you close your door and head to bed.

no ones ever shown this much attention to elias before, at least no one he’s truly cared about.

he smiled to himself on his drive home cause he was excited to text you again.

*contact name changed to “y/n<3”*

text message to y/n<3:i just got home, thank you for the awesome night :).

it’s been a couple weeks since you and elias had met at the bar, you basically hung out with each other anytime you could.

you were each others best friends at this point, sure the guys would make fun of elias for being in love with you but you couldn’t see it, elias knows he has some feelings for you but he wasn’t sure about it yet. he also didn’t want to risk the amazing friendship you guys had started.

“hey, are you coming to the game tonight?” elias asked over the phone to you.

you let out a sigh before you start speaking. “i’ll try, schools been really hard lately but i should be able to finish studying tonight.” elias could hear the tiredness in you voice and it hurt him to see you like this. “y/n, its okay. you don’t have to try and make it, focus on school its way important. you have many more games of mine that you can watch.” he left out a soft chuckle at the end of his sentence.

“i’ll still try though, i’ll give you a text if i can make it.” you said to him as you looked at the last large text book you had to read through and look at the giant pile of coffee cups surrounding your desk.

“okay, love you, i gotta go.” “love you too e, good luck.” you both quickly exchanged goodbyes as you started reading your last text book. you knew there was no way you were going to be able to make it to his game tonight and you felt really bad, you sighed it off as you put your attention back to studying and occasionally looking at the canucks game that was now playing on your tv.

the game had ended, canucks lost by one but petey is a sore loser so obviously he was sad, which made him show up at your apartment, he brought pizza from your favourite place downtown.

you were passed out on the couch though, which resulted in elias having to pull out his spare key and sneaking into your apartment.

“elias?” you mumbled out as you felt him sit next to where you were laying on the couch, he motioned for you to lay you head on his lap and you did.

“hey sleepy girl, i brought our favourite pizza.” he said to you with a smile. no matter how bad of a day elias was having, you could always make him smile.

you positioned your head so you’re now facing up at him and you give him a big smile. “thank you, can we snuggle and watch a movie?” elias starts rubbing your cheek softly. “of course we can y/n.”

the night ended with you and elias falling asleep on the couch together while watching a movie he had picked out, you both forgot about all the stress from today and just enjoyed the moment.

“he loves you, you know that right?” brock said to you as he came by and sat next to you.

it was the start of summer, tanev decided to host a little barbecue for the whole team before everyone left vancouver and went back to their home towns for the summer.

you were sitting in the backyard watching elias talk to huggy. “what?” you said to brock with confusion. “no he doesn’t.”

brock scoffed at your response. “dude, you can’t be serious. how do you not see it.”

you thought about what brock said for awhile before you gave him a response. “does he talk about me?” you looked at brock while taking a sip of your drink.

“does he talk about you? of course he fucking does y/n, all the time. especially when you don’t show up to our games, it’s worse when we’re on the road.”

you smile to yourself at what brock said.

you were quite tipsy by the end of the night and elias didn’t want to let you go home alone, so you spent the night at his place.

“elias?” you said in your sweet drunken tone as you both settled into his bed, and you faced your body in his direction.

“yes?” he said while playing with your hair softly.

“brock said something to me earlier,” you said while pulling your body close to his.

“of course he did,” he said with a sigh. “what’d he say this time?”

“apparently you talk about me a lot?” you said with a soft laugh and your fingers now tracing up and down his back.

“yeah, yeah i do. i talk shit about you all the time.” he says sarcastically knowing where this conversation was going.

“hey!” you said as you playfully punched him. “i was going to do something but i guess not anymore.” you said with a huff.

he lifts your chin up to face him. before you knew it you guys were kissing each other, it was a soft, long and sweet kiss.

elias pulled away with a big grin on his face and you did too. you talked to each other for the rest of the night, you ended up falling asleep before elias did but he did too shortly after.

you woke up to the smell of elias making waffles, you hugged him from behind and he didn’t even notice you were awake until you did that.

“it smells really good,” you said to elias before kissing his cheek and begging for him to hug you.

he pulls you into his grip and whispers in your ear. “do you wanna go to sweden with me for the summer?”

you look up at him with slight shock. “yeah, why not.” you said to him with a smile and he gets very excited and spins you around, you kiss for awhile until you smell something burning and you pull away.

“shit.” elias mumbles as he deals with the burnt waffles and you’re both laughing your asses off.

#elias pettersson #elias pettersson x reader #elias pettersson imagine #petey #pettersson #nhl canucks #vancouver canucks #canucks hockey #canucks #vancouver canucks x reader #nhl #nhl imagine #nhl hockey

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aureumjeon · 5 years

Text

tiptoed his way (m) || kth

pairing; taehyung x reader. genre; roommate!au; smut; fluff; angst. warnings; breaking and entering, unintended voyeurism, female masturbation, oral (both receiving), unprotected sex via doggy style, choking, tae suffers from MSS(Monster Schlong Syndrome lol), that’s about it. word count; 6.4K (unedited im sorry :()

summary; ➜ Taehyung found himself locked out of your shared home and there were only two options to successfully get inside. (1) Wake you up from your sleep and face the wrath that’ll follow, (2) Think like a burglar and enter through your window. (Un)fortunately for him, he picks the latter.

taglist; @bella-victoria002 @chaitaewithkookies @saddiesan @wehadnochoice @knjhe @thoughtsfromfaroffplaces @livorna @taetaeobsessed @erisann @thoughtsfromfaroffplaces @wickizer

a/n: the old gif doesnt work i dunno what i did wrong :(

“I’ll be out ‘til late, y/n! Don’t wait up for me.” Taehyung hollered while lacing his worn out white high-cut converse in the entryway. Hoping his voice would reach the end of the hallway where you were currently cooped in in your room.

“Alright! Stay safe!” Not bothering to leave your room, you answered back. Voice echoing through and bouncing off the dry walls. After waiting a few minutes, you heard the door slam shut with a thud. You cautiously tiptoed your way to the direction of your door, slightly opening the solid block of wood and peeking through the narrow crack you made. With no Taehyung in sight, you pumped your fist in the air and cheered victoriously. You finally have the house to yourself. You beamed with delight scurrying yourself over to the kitchen to make yourself a hot steaming bowl of instant ramen.

Taehyung and Jungkook had been your room mates since you can remember. It was freshman year of college, and you were looking for a cheap place to stay with the money you saved up working as a part-time student during your last year of highschool. A friend had introduced you to Jungkook, saying they needed one more person to split the bill with, broke college students need to support each other. At first you were hesitant, a girl living with two boys in a shared house wasn’t you initial plan but as the days go by since you first moved it, you got to know Taehyung and Jungkook a little more. Your friendship with them had gotten greater, the three of you were inseverable and you treasured them to bits!

Although in the four years you’ve been boarding together, every now and then they can really get on your nerves; letting the dirty dishes stack up at the sink until molds would flourish on the left over food; leaving the empty carton of milk in the fridge just as you’re planning to enjoy it with cereal or maybe a pack of Oreos; bags of chips and boxes of pizza scattered on all parts of the living room floor whenever they’d have movie night on Fridays with Jimin and Hoseok; and last but not least, the thing that they always do that grinds your gears the most, their dirty laundry in every corner, nook, and cranny of the house. Stinky socks, sweaty shirts, crusty jeans and even used underwear, you name it!

One time you had guests over; all girls might you add, studying for a group project in chemistry. Oh poor, sweet Yeri… Her unsullied innocence mercilessly corrupted by Jungkook’s disgusting underwear that had a suspicious dried up patch of white something on the crotch area of the small fabric. Yeri almost fainted when she pulled out the article of clothing from the kitchen caddy, flinging it across the room to where the other girls were. You scolded Jungkook the same day, advising him to keep all his stuff where it needed to be kept and on top of that to apologize to the poor girl he scarred for life. Which he did, and that’s the story of how Jungkook and Yeri’s relationship began. Who knew, right?

Taehyung was like Jungkook at first, but somehow he decided to stay under your radar as best as he could. Once you lectured him on something he’s done wrong inside the quarters of your home, he’d make it a point to engrave it on the back of his head. He has his fuck ups every now and then, but nothing too consequential. There was one time though, and you wish you could forget, that he brought a girl home which wasn’t against the house rules. Jungkook had brought Yeri numerous times and you, yourself, had your fair share of men visiting the house, specifically your room. It was s well established etiquette to keep the ruckus down since you we’re sharing this living space between the three of you. But during that critical time, which you’ve spoken to Taehyung and Jungkook beforehand never lacking to remind them on multiple occasions throughout that day. Telling them to please keep the noise to a minimum because you'll be revising for for a major exam that was equivalent to forty percent of your total grade. Somehow, Taehyung managed to forget your simple and completely doable request. With the paper thin walls between you and the absence of soundproofing, you were able to get every moan, groan and mewl that came from Taehyung’s rooms adjacent to yours. That bastard is so dead was the sole thing on your mind right now and not the words inscribed in the textbook that you’ve read over for the tenth time that night. The morning after that horrendous night of not getting anything done, you waited irksomely in the common room for taehyung and his date to emerge from his chambers.

“Y/n, y-you’re up early.” He gulped, taking in your appearance. Your gaze was piercing especially with the huge dark bags under your eyes. “I’ll take Minju ho--”

“I’m sure she knows here way back.” You cut him off with a bark in your tone, “Can’t you, Minju?” Your focus was now directed at her and she was quivering under your constant scrutiny.“Y-yes,” She clutched on her designer handbag bowed nervously before fleeing the place like a prey encountering it’s predator.

“I asked you for one thing, Taehyung, one thing.” You lowered your head and massaged your aching temples with your fingers, placating your exasperation towards the boy who was placed in the hot seat. “You knew I was studying tonight, Tae.” The timbre of your voice wasn’t sickeningly livid anymore. From spiking up to a hundred degrees in the last two minutes, it dropped down to a negative ten. “This test is worth forty percent of my grade, I told you that. This is the first time I requested you to do something for me...” You shut your eyes close and drew out a long sigh before standing up and intending to head back to your room. “If I fail this test, I want to let you know it’s on you, Tae.” His features were extremely devastated and disheartened, not because of the things you just said but because of how he had forgotten all about it.

You inconspicuously peered back at him and the look on his face says it all. A helpless puppy abandoned by its human, that’s what he resembled most at this moment. Big glassy eyes, a wet nose and pouty lips. Okay, that was kind of a mean thing to say, you thought. But you never failed to remind him, always opening up and squeezing in the topic during the mundane conversations you shared together. After one last disappointed sigh, you looked up the clock, 6:55 am. “Anyway, I still have three more hours before the test. I’ll be in my room.” You turned your back on him and proceeded to take a few steps forward before saying one last thing to him, “Please, please, please. Don’t bother me.” You were on your way back down the hall, nothing will stop you from cramming seven chapters of lesson into your brain in less than three hours in one sitting.

“Sorry, Y/n.”

Sorry ain't gonna cut it, chief.

Its as if Taehyung was able to read your mind, “ I’ll- I’ll be on bathroom duty. For two, no, four weeks. Yeah, yeah. One month of bathroom duty, Y/n. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to forget.”

You glanced over your shoulder and caught a glimpse of Taehyung with his hands clasped together, his facial expression pleading for forgiveness. You knew he was really sorry. Why? Because nobody liked bathroom duty, not even you.

“That seems fair to you, kook?” You spontaneously asked, making Taehyung scan the living room area. Glass started clattering in the kitchen and your doe-eyed bunny-boy of a roommate came hopping in. Taehyung was seeking compassion from his long-time comrade. Maybe shortening his time on bathroom duties or lending him a helping hand at least. Bros before hoes, right? “For the record.” Jungkook started, taking a sip from the cold banana milk bottle in his hand. “You kept me up, too. And I have football practice at eight.” He shrugged his shoulders casually before hiding back in his man cave. “Have fun cleaning, Tae.”

Your chiding was for everyone’s best interest, may this incident serve as a lesson of respecting other people who also lives in this household. Although there was one thing you were still unsure about. After that episode, Taehyung has never set foot in the premises with a woman draped around his arm again. You hoped you did not terminate his hopes of getting a love life.

In conclusion, they’re just a bunch of stupid college boys wanting to survive this hell hole, what do you expect? So, having the house to yourself was a once in a blue moon moment you’d never take for granted.

It was two in the morning, and Taehyung was stupidly perched at the doorstep patting his pockets for what seemed like the tenth time in the last ten minutes searching for his keys. "Shit." He grumbled under his breath, taking out his phone from his back pocket and calling up Jungkook's number. After the third try, he finally answered the call.

"H-hey, what's up? I love you and all that shit but why are you calling at two in the fucking morning?" The voice is the other line was dry and scratchy.

"Ah," Taehyung felt apologetic for waking up the Jungkook but he absolutely needed help, "Sorry for bothering you, Kook. Do you happen to know where the spare key is? Left my copy in my room before I went out and now I'm locked out of the house," He laughed embarrassingly, attempting to check his pockets one more time before calling it quits, wishing his keys would magically turn up in one of them.

"Taehyung…" The line suddenly went silent, it was a good fifteen seconds before Jungkook went on speaking,"Didn't I tell you that I'm holding onto the spare key to have it duplicated since my I lost my copy?"

There it was again, complete and utter silence. If it wasn't for irregular breathing coming from the other line, Jungkook would've guessed Taehyung had dropped the call already.

"Just wake up y/n, I'm sure she wouldn't mind." Jungkook suggested, that was probably the best route to take.

"No bro," Taehyung's tone was unnaturally dark and empty.

"Can I ask why?"

"L-Last time I locked myself out and woke up y/n," he choked on his series of words, recalling the traumatic event that occurred in the past. "She made me wait a whole hour before opening the door. While I was waiting out in the cold, y/n cooked bacon and pancakes at midnight just to spite me. The smell of the food made my stomach flip and growl. When she finally let me in, she ate it all by herself while looking me straight in the eye."

Jungkook on the other line laughed uproariously at Taehyung's untold story, "Remind me not to get on Y/n's bad side. But in all seriousness, how are you planning to get inside the house?" He queried the boy who was stuck in an unfortunate predicament."I don't get back til' Sunday. And it's only Friday."

Taehyung's eyes lit up like those light bulbs in cartoons when the characters gets a genius idea. "Is your room the one without the safety locks on the window?"

"One, no. My windows have safety locks. Y/n's window is the one without it. And two, that's a really bad Idea, Tae."

"What's a bad idea, babe?" Taehyung indistinctly overhears a hushed voice in the background. His conversation with Jungkook probably woke up Yeri too. "Oh, Taehyung's planning to enter through y/n window to get into the house." Jungkook made sure that taehyung was hearing what Yeri had to say, since she's been friends with y/n just as long as them. Her giggles were so innocent, akin to a baby but the words she said were the exact opposite. "That is a stupid idea, unless Taehyung wants to be hit on the head with a metal baseball bat and bleed to death."

"Yeri said that that's a stupid idea unless you--"

"I heard what she said. And I won't even make a sound! I'll tiptoe my way through her window and out of her room in a flash! That way I'll be in the house and won't have to wake up y/n! I see this as an absolute win." Taehyung broadcasted triumphantly like he had discovered the map to the lost City of Atlantis.

Yeri snatched the phone from her boyfriend's hand and lectured Taehyung y/n style. "Tae, this isn't the time to be quoting the Incredible Hulk when you're the one who's gonna be beaten to a pulp when y/n wakes up and mistakes you for a burglar. Just wake up y/n and ask her to open up the door for you. It can't be that bad, you'd live a longer life that way. Face the consequences of being a pee-brain."

"Nope," It seemed like Taehyung had made up his mind, and when Taehyung makes up his mind, there's no point in stopping him.

"Ahhh, tell your friend good luck. I'm going back to sleep." Yeri gave back the phone to her boyfriend. "You have our regards. If you don't die, call me back in the morning." A loud yawn can be heard from Jungkook's end as he hangs up.

And that's Taehyung's go signal.

He stealthily made his way round the perimeter of the house to the side where your room was located "Bingo." He mused as he spotted your window, slightly left ajar. He strategically maneuvered his way across the flower bed embedded on the ground, calculating his steps accurately not wanting to step on your precious roses and daffodils. He knows he can't lie to you, if asked who trampled on your bloom, he'd rat himself out in a blink of an eye. He'd like to enjoy a long flourishing life. Grow old, get married and possibly have kids and grandkids.

Not like what he's about to commit will spare his life either way.

Even with the lack of light and the gauzy material of the curtain, his eyes could make up your vague figure on the bed, tossing and shifting your legs about. Must be some crazy dream you're having, he thought. Though he can't get a clear view of you, he's certain you were there.

He sucked in a deep breath and slowly pushed the unlocked window wider just enough so that he can slither his body inside, dragging the curtain along with it. He prayed to the heavens above that the hinges doesn't make a sound, not even a tiny squeak or his head will be the one hanging from the valances.

With his hands securely clasped on the window sill, he utilized his upper body strength to propel himself up until his knees were secured on the narrow wooden surface. "Phew" he shakily exhaled, switching from his current kneeling position to a crouching one, gaining more balance for his following steps.

Before fully entering your room now that he had obtained a better view, he decided to take a proper look at your charming unconscious face. Wait, scratch that, that didn’t come out right. What he meant to conclude was…

When Jungkook first introduced you to him as their new flatmate, he couldn’t help but be blown away. He was thunderstruck when he was graced by your overwhelming presence. Soft silky hair that he’d like to get bury his face in, letting the scent of your shampoo take over his senses; Round bright eyes that somehow carried the countless stars and galaxies, he’d willingly surrender himself just to get lost in them. A lovely button nose that scrunched up when you smiled and introduced yourself for the first time. “I’m Y/n, nice to finally meet you Taehyung.” he remembered clearly, god, how can he forget. Your soft-spoken voice perfectly fitted your delicate face. It was love at first sight, what else could it be? He fell for you hook, line and sinker.

He covertly watched over you, not in the stalker-ish way, of course. Whenever you’re lounging around in your favorite pajamas or simply tidying up the house, he’d inevitably find a small smile creep up on his lips. Even just knowing that you’re inside the house when he comes home from the university by the way your favourite music was blaring from your room made him happy. He learned along the way that you were really introverted, spending most of your weekends at home reading your favourite novels and choosing to withdraw yourself from the generic college scene. Opting for a movie night date with your friends rather than partying at some musty frat house. Moreover, you didn’t strike up any conversation with him or Jungkook unless it was about the house or if it was that important to talk about. Unbeknownst to you, all the things you detested like unwashed dishes or misplaced dirty laundry, he did it on purpose just to get the attention he craved from you. Sometimes he felt guilty at the way he acted whenever you were around, a pout or two on your upset face.

But he came to the point that he was tired of hiding and playing safe behind that thin line called “Friendship.”If he wasn’t gonna man-up and take action, nothing’s gonna change. So on your twentieth birthday, that’s when he decided he wanted to confess his love for you, hoping that the unrequited becomes requited. He bought a cake and decorated the whole house with a banner, balloons and streamers. He even paid Jungkook fifty dollars to keep his mouth shut about it.

What happened after was far from his or Jungkook's expectations. You came home from a date. A date which none of them knew about but here you were, wide eyed and jubilant to see the simple surprise party your dear roommates took the time to prepare for you. You introduced the boy standing next to you as your boyfriend. "Boyfriend" that word stung like a bitch.

It was then that he decided to put an end to this one-sided pinning that has been going on for quite some time now that hasn't bloomed into anything, not even a tiny sprout. If the stars were aligning and the universe was really on his side, he would have been your boyfriend by the end of the day, not some guy named Lucas.

Every other night he'd return with a girl to his room for nothing more than a quick fuck, never meeting with them for a second time. He thought it was something that would dull the agonizing throb in his chest, it worked for the most part. The bodily pleasure those women brought him made him forget momentarily about everything he's ever felt for you. He thought it was only a matter of time until all the feelings he'd kept would dissipate into thin air.

Minju, he recalled. A girl who was just as perfect as you in his eyes, well almost. With the thought of taking Minju home and having her all to himself as a priority in his mind, he got carried away and overlooked one critical thing you asked of him which was on top of that a principal house rule the three of you agreed on. "Always keep the noise to a minimum."

He knew he fucked up the moment he spots you sitting on the couch glaring at him as he and Minju walked out of his room. He saw the look of disappointment etched on your face at how he had let you down and recognized how bad he fucked up. He thought that you’d never forgive him and end up hating him for the rest of his life, but you always kept proving him wrong. A familiar box was atop the center island with a pink sticky note attached to it.

"I'm sorry I got mad at you, Tae. It was probably the stress talking. Btw, I passed aced the exam! Hehe. <3 y/n.”

That was when he realized he truly did not deserve you.

His profound daydreaming was put to a halt when he heard a hushed moan originate from your direction. His jaw almost unhinged at how low and wide it was hanging from his face at the sight he has failed to notice prior to entering your room. A convoluted expression was apparent on your face, with your brows knitted together, and eyes shut tight, upper teeth frustratingly nibbling at your bottom lip. Your left hand hidden under the sheer fabric of your shirt, kneading at your mound lavishly while the fingers on your other hand were tirelessly circling around the glistening flesh between you spread legs. You weren’t sleeping, you were masturbating!

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Gotta get out. Gotta get out. Gotta get--

His whole life flashed before his eyes as he witnessed the mason jar you used as a flower pot unexpectedly gets knocked over by his rogue foot, emanating in a clangorous noise as it hit the seat of your metal chair tucked under your desk. There were numerous circumstances that he wished he could get out of certain situations unscathed, which as luck would have it he did. This one? Not so much as your instincts urged you to direct your attention to where the abrupt sound came from. He saw your bewildered eyes staring at his squatting figure by your window.

Taehyung quickly slammed his palms over his face concealing his eyes while blindly steering his body farther into your room, knocking over your other stuff in the process. As his feet finally met solid ground, it was now time to plead for his life. “Y/n! Shit! I-I can e-explain. I l-left my keys! A-and I didn't want to wake you up. I didn't mean seeing that!" He heard the sound of his rapid heart beat resonate in his ears, ringing so loudly that he couldn't even hear himself think.

You found his flustered stuttering adorable and endearing. You weren't angry and knew he was telling the truth. Taehyung, no matter how brazen and badly behaved he was, has not ever lied to you. You can take his word for this one but a little teasing hasn't killed anyone. “Never perceived you as the peeping type, Tae."

"I swear, I'm not!" His cheeks started burning red, the scorching heat of embarrassment crawling up to his ears and down his neck.

You didn't answer him right away, and all he could make up with his vision temporarily impaired was the shuffling sound of your bedding and the indistinct footsteps walking towards him. "Well since you're here, might as well help your roommate out." You whispered suggestively in his ear, and he felt his jeans grow a little tighter by the crotch.

You pressed your body against his until the corner of your desk was painfully digging into his back. "What do you say, Tae?"

"I-I don't think this is right." He respired weakly, his knees were starting to buckle at the figurative weight weighing down on his shoulders with palms still stuck to his eyes.

"Wanna know what I think." You purred salaciously, the tip of your pointer finger lightly tracing over the skin of his clavicle. "I don't think this is a question of what's right and wrong," Your hand started to head south, stopping precisely at his sternum, your fingers drawing small figure eights over it. "I'm single, your single."You further proved your claim, hand once again dropping lower. Taehyung wasn't much of a gym rat like Jungkook or Jimin so he didn't have any abs. But you still appreciated his body nonetheless, especially paired with his remarkably attractive face. "I see this as a question of want and don't want. And judging from this," without warning, you cupped the hard-on he was sporting. Waves of electricity surged through his blood vessel, every cell in his body had doubled its working pace. "You want this as much as I do." Slowly, you palmed him through his jeans, fingers molding the curve of his clothed dick. His heart rate spiked and breathing got more labored with your words and actions.

He wanted to see you. He wanted to remove his hand from his face and see how the moonlight shining through your window illuminated your appearance, enhancing your elegant features tenfold but he was terrified that this will lead to something that will eventually ruin your friendship.

"Taehyung..." You whimpered, starting to feel impatient. "Say something. Tell me what you want. Tell me to stop, please just say something."

"I-I," Fuck it, he thought. He detached his hands from his eyes and encased it around your petite torso, finally giving in to the treacherous temptation that is you. "I want you, y/n." He dipped his face in the curve of your neck, filling himself up with the sweet scent of you. "I've wanted you for the longest time, y/n." His voice was guttural and strained, he'd never thought the time of him finally confessing to you would come. It required him every tendril of his being to finally come clean. An abandoned door that was once locked has instantly been pushed open, and his desire for you has never been more ardent.

"I want you too, Tae."

Moments later you've found yourselves entangled within each other's embrace, caught in a sweltering and heart racing make out session. Every brush of lips and prod of tongue was burning of lust and passion. The way your fingers intertwined with his and filling its spaces perfectly like the final piece of an unfinished puzzle. It felt so natural, the way the rise and fall of your breathing and the tempo of your pulses fell in sync. It felt like something that should've been done ages ago but was hindered by something unforeseen.

As he hovered above your frame, you couldn't help but be drawn in the boundless sea of his deep hazel eyes. Wisp of his curled lashes resting prettily on his eyelids, the tip of his pointed nose dusted a shade of baby pink and lips pursed into a gentle smile. He observed you with hooded eyes as you absentmindedly stared at his face. You couldn't comprehend how a mere human can bear this much beauty and elegance in his mortal body, even the gods would seethe in jealousy at his splendor.

"T-tae. I want to feel your dick down my throat." You professed bashfully, marvelling at his beauty can wait. Right now there was one thing you fervently wish for, him and his entirety.

Your bluntness was always one of his favourite traits of yours. "I'm all yours." He replied, placing an affectionate kiss on your lips.

"Stand at the edge of the bed." You instructed, going on all fours and crawling your way to the same spot. "C'mon!"

Taehyung with arched brows headed to where you wanted him, planting his feet firmly on the carpeted floor. "Okay, now what?"

"I've always wanted to try like this." You pressed on, lying on your back with your head almost hanging off the edge of the bed, slightly propping it up with a small pillow. Taehyung was caught off guard with your new position, “Y/n, what are you doing?” He queried with an arch of his brows.

“I’m ready to take your dick.” You seemed determined, sweeping your loosened hair away from your face and tucking it behind your ears. “Saw this in porn before and I’ve been itching to try it out.

You just kept pulling out tricks from your sleeve, Taehyung never imagined you to be the type who watches porn. “You watch porn?” He incredulously questioned eyes going wide that hinted inquisitiveness.

“Oh please, I am a human being. Stop looking at me like I’m some saint. I can watch adult videos whenever I want to.”

“Fair enough,” He acknowledged while unbuckling his belt, revealing the stiff bulge tucked in his boxer. He tugged the garterized hem of his underwear down and allowed his member to spring free.

You were genuinely astounded with his impressive size and girth, tip red and already leaking pre-cum. “From all the years we’ve been living together, I kinda expected you were big, but not this big. Didn’t know you were suffering from MSS.”

“MSS?” he eyed you outlandishly, having no idea what you were talking about.

“Monster Schlong Syndrome.” You answered as you tried suppressing the mischievous smile forcing its way onto your lips.

“Shut up, Y/n.” Taehyung’s cheeks grew rosier at your compliment about his dick, but he still preferred being humble about his size even when he was with other girls.

“Make me,” You provoked him, opening your mouth fully and sticking out your tongue. Feeling rather wolfish to have him in your mouth.

“Are you sure about this?” He queried you one last time, making sure you were a hundred percent okay with this. “I’m the one beginning to feel uncomfortable with your position.”

“I’m fine, Tae. I want this.”

He couldn’t help stroking himself while taking in the image of you sprawled on the bed eyes totally blown-out. Begging and lusting over his cock. Taehyung gently tapped his length on your cheek,causing a smirk to form on your lips. “Stopped teasing,” You wailed vexingly, growing eager by the second. You tossed your head back even further while opening your mouth much wider, giving Taehyung a greater angle.

“You ready, baby?” His already deep voice dropped an octave lower, a sultry and sickeningly honeyed tone slathered all over his words. You crossed your legs together feeling the steamy heat pool between them as you nod fervently.

Unhurriedly, Taehyung pushed the tip of his cock past your lips. The warmth and wetness of your mouth elicited a satisfied groan from him. He pushed even further down your throat, sheathing himself completely and noticing how tight the space has gotten as he descends. “Fuck, baby. Your mouth feels so good,” he euphorically moaned seeing how your pretty mouth is stretched by his thick cock.

You blissfully purred at his praise, and the vibrations of your throat around his member sent a chill down his spine. “I-I’ll start moving, okay.” He choked on his word, his senses brimming over with the buzz of pleasure. At a leisurely pace, he began gliding his dick in and out of your hot cavern, hearing lewd squelching sounds with every push. “Shit,” He rasped when you hollow your cheeks around him. “Your mouth is the best, baby.” He quickened the speed of his thrusts, savouring the constricted hold you’ve got on him. Tears started to pool at the corners of your eyes as your mouth was bombarded with the repetitive jabbing motion. You’ve never felt this full before, the way he has you gorged put you in a state of pure ecstasy.

Taehyung shifted his veiny hand to caress your face, wiping away the wetness from your corners of your eyes. With his balls slapping right into your face, you failed to capture his pupils dilate and the concupiscent glint in his dark orbs. His hand found its way at the base of your neck, favouring the tug of the skin, muscles and bones outlined beneath the surface. His slender, bony fingers spread across the expanses of your neck, petting the strained muscle domestically. His digits started to curl around the base, the blunt of his fingernails digging into your skin and you felt the restriction of air affect your lungs.

Taehyung knew you were enjoying this as much as he was even with you gagging and choking on his dick. He exerted more pressure on your jugular, and you felt your body sink further into the mattress. He thwarted his hips into you once more, deeper than before as his wanton howls reverberated inside your room. Before he could blow his load in your mouth, he stopped himself and pulled out his swollen cock coated with your spit.

You opened your eyes and griped at the sudden sensation of barrenness, "W-why'd you stop?" You felt light headed, your body eventually recognized the lack of oxygen you underwent. Your chest hurriedly heaved up and down as you were gasping for air, trying to catch your breath.

"This is my first time fucking you, the only place I'll be cumming in right now is your pussy." Taehyung wickedly grinned, looping his arms behind your neck and knees and carried you bridal style. He walked over the side and carefully lowered you on the bed, head snuggly resting on the pillow leaned on the headboard. He made his way back to the foot of the bed, taking a seat directly in front of your bare core. "Since I interrupted you earlier," his hands began stroking you calf, tiny goosebumps springing up from his touch. "Let me make it up to you and make you feel better than those little fingers of yours."

You detected a hint of embarrassment as Taehyung's gaze focuses on you already seeping sex. He began crawling closer to you core, tipping in to pepper kisses on your inner thighs. As his warm breath began rousing over your skin, you couldn't help but clench around nothingness at the level of arousal you were experiencing. "What were you thinking about when you were pleasuring yourself?" He cooed the question out before licking a wet stripe along your moistened slit. His tongue was dancing in his mouth after finally acquiring a taste of your delectable nectar. "I-I was thinking about you, Tae." You answered weakly, the pad of his thumb now circling your sensitive nub. He hummed in approval at you words, his tongue was the one promptly to devote its undivided attention to you bundle of nerves. "What was I doing then?"

You released a long exhale when you felt Taehyung slip on of his slender fingers inside your hole. "I-I thought about how you'd fuck me with your huge cock," You admitted, shutting your eyes as he twirls his finger inside you. He inserted another digit, and it got you tossing your head back in fervor. "How you'd make me cum so hard.”Your eyes reeled back at the back of your head as another finger slips into you with such ease.

“You’re soaking wet, y/n.” he was prideful of how you’ve become putty under his ministrations, “And all for me.” He sloped down once more and flicked your clit with his wet muscles at an excruciating pace. You started feeling yourself clench around his digits, “W-wait.” You intervened, not wanting to release just yet. “I want to cum with you.”

He devilishly grinned from ear to ear and flipped your body over, your knees and palm bearing the weight of your exhausted body. “Wanna hit you from the back so bad.”

You lowered your torso and arched your back inwards, excessively sticking your ass up on full display. Taehyung smeared the accumulated pre-cum on the tip of his cock all over his length, painting it with the lubricating substance. He aligned himself with your entrance and gingerly drove his hips forward until he bottomed out. “Fuck, y/n. You’re cunt’s even tighter than your pretty mouth.” the interior walls of your vagina squeezed at his member, accommodating his length incomparably. “Your pussy was made for me, y/n. Best pussy I’ve ever had.”

As much as you fancied him to rant about how amazing your pussy was, you wished he’d just shut up and pound you into oblivion and put an end to the tormenting ache bubbling inside you. “Move.” You sought, pushing your rear end against him hard and coaxing him to ultimately move.

His knuckles were turning white at how tight he’s gripping onto the curve of your hips, nails engraving small crescent-shaped marks on your skin. Without warning, he launched the onslaught of the brute ramming of his dick into you. Each thrust he bore were insanely crisp and accurate, striking your sweet spot with every jab. The sound of skin slapping against skin and your heavy breathes were the only tunes filling the silent space of your room. Taehyung pulled out his length almost completely, appreciating how coated and soaked it was with your juices, awakening another entire level of his vehement lust for you. He slammed himself back into your tight slit, clenching his buttocks and rutting his pelvis at an inhuman speed.

“I’m so close, Taehyung.” You wailed sinfully with a high-pitched strain to your voice, aware at how every muscle in your body is tensing up.

“Me too, baby.” He unexpectedly towed you by your hair until your back collided with his chest. His hand located your neck yet again, wrapping his digits around it and cutting your intake of air. You swear that at the end of this, your neck would be sore, purple and bruised because of how robust he retains his grip on you. At this point, his movements began getting sloppier and imprecise, suggesting he was at last getting to his most sought-after high. His idle hand shakily made its way to your almost forgotten clit, ruthlessly rubbing at it with the pad of his fore and middle finger continuously until you were convulsing around his cock and milking him down to the last drop. Both of your body collapsed on your bed, utterly breathless.

“Wow.” Taehyung managed to breath out.

“Yeah, wow.” You repeat, steadying your breathing. “What happens now?” You awkwardly asked, staring at the blank ceiling like it was the most interesting thing in your room.

“Wanna go on a date?” His voice was filled with reluctance, the thrumming in his chest never calming down. Now wasn't the perfect time to ask you that kind of question. So he braced himself as he waited for your answer.

You turned your head in his direction and looked at how the light from the now open window magically outlined his enchanting profile. “You’re way out of order but I’d love too.”

Taehyung's obnoxious ringtone Disturbed the silence of your sleep.

"Your phone is ringing." You grumbled, t

"Yo, Tae, glad to hear you're still alive. Got into the house yet?"

"Yeah," He paused, looking at you. "Got into y/n pants as well."

#taehyung x reader #ksmutclub #btsguild #magicshopnet #bangtanarmynet #taehyung smut #taehyung x you #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #taehyung oneshot #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #bts oneshot #kim taehyung #kpop smut #taehyung fanfic #taehyung fic #bts dark moodboard

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cassyapper · 3 years

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loving you may mean losing you but i dont mind (jotakak playlist)

dont talk to me about the title of this thing im embarrassed enough

anyway but okay so!!!! very excited to share this!!!! this has been in the works since september but my picky ass finally found an adequate amount of songs so here it is!!!!!! my jotakak playlist (:

special thanks to my lovely and wonderful friend jade for helping me finish this this thing <3

track list nd why i picked the songs that i did under the break!

1. the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us! by sufjan stevens i chose this song because it’s all about internalized homophobia and being in love with your best friend as a kid which RLLY resonates w jotakak imo. esp cause in the song, stevens’ friend ends up leaving abruptly, leaving stevens to wonder about what couldve blossomed if they had stuck together and worked through the difficulties together, which JOTARO....THAT IS JOTARO-CORE esp cause kak also “leaves” (dies). so this song was a v obvious choice for me and in fact this song is what inspired me to create this playlist in the first place

2. we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos! this song is abt being in love with someone but you both have ur issues so it’s kind of a mess. considering jotaro and kakyoin’s (to point it quite frankly) trauma and the fact that both of them do jack shit to try and cope with it healthily, this song DEFINITELY fits them. esp cause this song mentions physical fighting and the imagery that goes with it (”he got his teeth fixed/im gonna break them”, “i’ve got a fist on fire”, etc) and the entirety of the bridge/last verse rlly gives me these two’s vibes so! ya (:

3. love love love by of monsters and men this song is the singer feeling like shes completely unworthy of being loved by this important person in her life, particularly because she has NO idea how to show affection and love the (for lack of better word) “acceptable” way, or any way at all really. this REALLY has jotaro vibes cause he is one repressed motherfucker and as we see the entirety of his story, jotaro is full of love he loves so much it’s just he has no idea how to properly express it cause he’s scared essentially. but that didn’t stop people from loving him, in this case, that being kakyoin. hhhhHHh

4. ribs by lorde this song is about being scared of growing up but due to the lyrics being written the way they are, i kinda spin the interpretation of it to be the fear jotaro and kakyoin had on the crusade to egypt, as they were the youngest and didnt know if they’d make it back and everything is just incredibly overwhelming there is so much going on all the time those 50 days. i can do a full analysis on why but that would be kinda long LMAO. for now let’s leave it at they have a very Unique fear of growing up but it still fits with the lyrics. particularly the last bit of the song with the “youre the only friend i need” verses,,,makes me think of these two...

5. can i call you tonight? by dayglow i interpret this song to be about trying to figure out what, exactly, your feelings are for this very specific and important person in your life. since jotaro and kakyoin r both repressed and also suckers of internalized homophobia, i think they fit that theme very well. particularly with the whole “i feel like we’re close, but maybe we’re not actually? what are we?” theme going on in the lyrics, this whole song makes me think of jotaro and kakyoin figuring out their intense and sudden (cause again only 50 days but also, those 50 days had So Much going on) feelings for each other. also the “now i’m no longer alone” line in the chorus HHHHHHH that’s them

6. la la la love song by toshinobu kubota ft naomi campbell SO I KNOW THIS SONG IS KINDA JUST FLUFF but we need some light-hearted moments in this thing hjgg;. ALSO toshinobu kubota is canonically jotaro’s favorite musician so i wanted to reference that and this was my fav love song of his that i’ve found so far so (: also the “you are my shining star” line,,,heh

7. truce by twenty one pilots so this song is very soft. it’s about tending to wounds and taking a moment before continuing to push on. it makes me think abt jotaro and kakyoin taking care of each other on the journey (for example the lovers arc/n’doul fight). also the whole “stay alive, stay alive for me/you will die, but now your life is free/take pride in what is sure to die” makes me go fucking nuts that is. that fits these two to a T fuck

8. this side of paradise by coyote theory this song has big “two lonely people are in love with each other for the first time” vibes and OHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S JOTAKAK.... there are a lot of little lines that make me specifically think abt these two, such as “love so strong it makes me feel weak” (jotaro-core...), “if you’re lonely come be lonely with me”, “i’ll be yours if you’ll be mine” (wanting some security while ur in love for the first time is common but especially for these two i think it works spectacularly) but yea this song as a whole is just...ohhh them. theyre in lvoe HK;FNJFL

9. i saw you in a dream by the japanese house EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. OF THIS SONG IS POST-EGYPT JOTARO. EVERY SINGLE LINE. and the ghost the singer talks about seeing? they hadnt changed at all? they were such a pretty vision, a perfect hallucination? BRUH... just listen i could do a whole analysis on this song it all just fits jotaro mourning kakyoin throughout the years so so so so well it makes me feel nuts holy shit i just. literally every line. every line fits i am not joking. i cried when i first heard this song LMAO

10. video games by the young professionals SO LMAO obviously kakyoin’s epic gamer moves are being referenced but beyond that i interpret this song to just be the fun parts of being in love esp when ur young (backed up with the “kissing in the blue dark” and the “watching all our friends fall” lines). also the chorus just makes me want to cry cause just, happy jotakak moments PLEASE. “the world was built for two only worth living if somebody is loving you, and baby now you do” THEYRE NOT ALONE ANYMORE THEY FOUDN EACH OTHER IM GONAN WAILLLLLLL oh my god. im nuts theynkjNJKNJF also “i heard that you like the bad girls” please. these two shitty teenagers

11. ikanaide by sohta ft. yuki kaai this song is abt not wanting someone u love to leave u cause youll miss them obviously but also ur scared of how the time will change you and if it’ll make you unrecognizable eventually. big post-egypt jotaro vibes 😔 especially cause one part of the chorus translates to “i shouldnt cry, i shouldnt cry, but the truth is i want to say dont go” and im jus like OHHHHH NO IT’S JOTARO FINDING OUT KAKYOIN DIED jkfnNKJFNJDhkld

12. therefore you and me by eve ALRIGHT. god this song is one hell of a doozy. i interpret this song to mean being sincerely in love but youre in the wrong place/wrong time. considering the uh Whole Situation in part 3 there were definitely better times to fall in love for these two. jotaro and kakyoin try to be happy w the moments they do have (i think the second verse in particular adds to this sentiment what with the selfish ghosts part) but they want a better environment understandably so theyre also just kinda ignoring things until they can properly care for a relationship. but well...who knows if theyll live to make it to that better environment ):

13. mayonaka no door/stay with me by miki matsubara this song is a v sweet sentiment abt like “it’s not just heat of the moment!! i do care about u a lot!!” and asking the person u have feelings for to stick around. big kakyoin and jotaro vibes as it would be easy to call what they have a fling considering how relatively short of a timeframe they had but i genuinely think their relationship was deeper than just that and this song nicely reflects such. “jotaro and i will share a room cause we’re both students” fuckin head ass

14. a thousand years by sting oh sting.... so since sting is kakyoin’s favorite musician canonically i had to add one of his songs here as well but beyond just that i do think this song fits them!! it kinda gives me big “if not in this life, then the next” vibes which is a big uhhh thing for jotakak. they may be doomed to tragedy but the moments they have together make the tragedy worth enduring ironically i feel like this song is mostly from jotaro’s pov considering i dont think he ever completely got over kakyoin and this song def has that kinda sentiment but hey it fits them...

15. mr loverman by ricky montgomery SO FUNNY STORY i actually REALLY. REALLY didnt wanna add this song at first cause i felt it wouldve been...idk too cliche? i guess? and i was ALL kinds of picky when choosing songs for this playlist HOWEVER. eventually i relistened to it and read the lyrics while thinking specifically abt jotakak and it actually rlly does fit quite well KJDFN; another jotaro mourning song ): it’s not just the chorus tho the whole song fits jotaro immediately post-egypt but also i feel like some time around part 4 this sentiment would come back to him cause Yknow. Gays In Morioh and the mess of his family life back in america. it just aches for him cause while he’s happy josuke is happy he wishes he couldve had that for him and kakyoin too but yea jus ... them

16. you by petit biscuit an instrumental?? in a ship playlist?? yes that’s right much like mr loverman i was hesitant to put this song in cause it’s harder to justify since i dont rlly know much abt music (and not to b controversial but interpreting lyrics and interpreting music r two different things) however i really think the vibes of this song fit jotakak. it’s got a somber melody but the keys of the piano are high which im taking to mean “light in the dark” which. jotaro and kakyoin (along w the rest of the crusaders) were each other’s lights in the dark. also the ending samples a conference/lecture talking about space flight and like. star platinum. space symbolism. jotaro. yeah

17. saturn by sleeping at last MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. this song is all about losing someone very close and important to you, but reflecting on the good they brought into your life rather than the pain of losing them. this song also has HEAVY space imagery which stardust crusaders is absolutely chalk fucking full of so also it’s a very philosophical song and considering that jotaro and kakyoin are both Nerds and both got a nice view of the stars/space in the desert with each other, im sure they had conversations similar to the one highlighted in the song. i think it’s a good note to end the playlist on cause kakyoin is dead and jotaro is the survivor but it’s not a mourning song so much as jotaro taking the love he had for kakyoin and pushing forward with it allll th way into part 6

but yeah that’s the tracklist! i might add or take away a song or two but this is mostly it (: hope yall enjoy!

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prettyboongi · 4 years

Text

Our Very First Night Together

Reader x Jeon Jungkook

1.9k words

A lots of fluff with a hint of smut

[Note: A requested story. I really liked this since it reminded me of the first time I spent the night with my boyfriend. The hardest part when writing this was coming up with realistic dialogue, which is something I really struggle with. I’m really trying to improve so please have mercy on me. Deuces!]

Jungkook was in the middle of playing a game on his computer when he had gotten your text. Your text read:

“Im outside your door. plz open :p”

Excited, he quickly logged off his game, took off his headset and hurried himself to the door.

Tonight was a big night for you two: it would be the very time you spending the night. Although you two have been dating for almost a year, things have always been too busy to do normal couple things, like, in this case, spending the night at each other’s places. And with that, you and Jungkook have been taking your relationship extremely slow. Besides some intimate cuddling and brief makeout sessions, you two haven’t gone further than that. And since spending the night could mean taking that particular huge step in your relationship, he wanted to make sure you were comfortable. He cleaned his entire apartment; he vacuumed and dusted the living room, cleaned the bathroom, and straightened up his kitchen. Once he was finished with that, he went grocery shopping to pick up your favorite snacks like the caring boyfriend he was (he also picked up a box of condoms, you know just in case). Jungkook just wanted to make sure that you felt right at home at his place, maybe even come to think of it as a second home.

Jungkook opens the door to find a smiling you, carrying a large floral print traveling bag in one hand and a filled green grocery tote in the other.

“Hey!”, you exclaim as Jungkook gestures for you to come inside. “Thanks again for letting me spend the night.” After placing your belongings on the floor, you wrap your arms around Jungkook’s neck as you two lean in for a sweet kiss.

“Of course, babe”, he says while still holding on to you. “I’ve been wanting this for a long time.” He looks to your side, “What’s in that green bag.”

You released yourself from Jungkook’s embrace to grab your tote. “I got us snacks!”, you said enthusiastically, holding the bag towards him.

He chuckles at your keen attitude. “Y/N, I told you I would cover the snacks,” he says taking the tote from you.

You shrugged and smiled, “Well now we have more snacks.”

I mean she wasn’t wrong but Jungkook still shook his head. “What am I gonna do with you?” He hears you giggle as he places the bag on the kitchen counter.

“So,” you began, “What are the plans for the night?”

“Anything you wanna do, to be honest,” he answers.

You couldn’t help but smile, he’s always treating you like a queen and, Jungkook’s eyes, you were a queen. His queen. “Let’s just stay then. We could order a pizza, watch some Netflix, gorge on a bunch of these snacks and pass out from food comas.”

“Sounds great to me.”

“So I just placed the order for the pizza,” Jungkook says to you, “It should be here in about 40 minutes.”

“You made sure to get my fave?,” you asked him coyly.

He leaned over to where you were sitting on the couch, inches away from your face, “Of course, Y/N. A large pepperoni, extra pepperoni and extra cheese.”

“With a side of breadsticks and dipping sauces?”

“Yes, Y/N, anything for the spoiled princess”, he sighs exaggeratingly, clearly messing around. You playfully hit his shoulder as he lets out a breathy laugh.

You start to get up from the couch and grab your traveling bag. “You mind if I go take shower real quick?”

“Of course not,” he says, “You remember where the bathroom is at?”

“Yes, Jungkook,” you mockingly say, getting back at him for teasing you. You run out of the living as he light-heartedly chases you.

40 minutes passed and the pizza arrived. Jungkook places the pizza down on the coffee table, accompanied by paper plates, bottles of soda and some of the snacks you both bought. Once he turned on the Netflix app on his TV, everything was set. Now the only thing he had to wait for was you.

“Hmm? I wonder when she’s gonna be done,” he thought to himself. He picked up his phones and checked his messages to preoccupy himself as he waited. Soon enough, he hears your footsteps approaching. “About time, Y/N”, he says, still looking at his phone.

“Oh, be quiet,” you rebutted, “Is the pizza here?”

“Yeah, you're lucky you came just in time, I would've been more happy to eat all by myself.” Once Jungkook notices you in his peripheral vision, he looks up and stares at you for a moment. You’ve changed into an interesting piece of nightwear: a light pink, knee-length nightgown with short sleeves, lined with pink lace at the bottom hem. The nightgown wasn’t too baggy, fitting you like a casual everyday dress. The satin material made it seem like you were glowing under the living room lights. For some reason, Jungkook expected your pajamas would be a t-shirt and sweats, so seeing you in your cute nightgown surprised him.

You noticed him staring at you. “What?,” you asked.

"Nothing", he says. Jungkook quickly looks away from you, hiding his faint blush. You were confused by his sudden bashfulness but decided to shrug it off.

You spent the next few hours watching two anime films; the first one being a film adaptation of a classic anime series and the other currently on was a romantic drama that brought Jungkook close to tears (even though he would deny it.) Frankly, you thought the movie was a bit boring but the movie was halfway over anyway. You both were sitting on opposite sides of the couch; Jungkook was sitting up, totally invested in the movie while your entire body was propped up on the couch, leaning you rest on the armrest. You tried your best not to doze off but ended up passing off before the movie’s ending.

As the movie credits rolled, Jungkook discreetly wiped his tears, hoping you wouldn’t catch him. “That was a pretty good movie. What do you think?’ He looks over to your side of the couch and finds you in a deep slumber. “Hmm, maybe I made the apartment a little too comfortable,” he thinks to himself. Looking at you peacefully sleeping made him terribly happy. To him, you looked so adorable, as if he wanted to protect you from anything that troubled you, like a good boyfriend would.

With you fast asleep, he thought it would be a great time to take a quick shower himself. After he leaves you asleep on the couch, he heads to the bathroom to wash up and then change into a baggy hoodie and sweatpants. As he was drying his hair with a towel, he headed back to the living room where he had left you. Seeing that the Netflix menu was still on display, he assumed you were still asleep. Once he got close to the couch, he abruptly stopped in his tracks. Looking down at you, he sees you curled in a fetal position with your original knee length nightgown riden up to your hip area. Jungkook stood there, frozen and blushing furiously. He knew he shouldn't be looking at you that way, but he really couldn’t help but gaze at you; the exposure of your shapely thighs and the soft curve of your hip were both hard to look away from. To make matters harder for him, he also had a glimpse of your black, lacy bikini briefs. Eventually, Jungkook got himself to snap out of it and go find a blanket to hide your exposed boy. After retrieving a blanket in the linen closet, he carefully places the blanket on you without waking you up. Sure, you stirred a bit but quickly went back to sleep.

Jungkook sat back down to the opposite side of the couch and turned on a random documentary to take his mind off what he’d seen. However, it proved to be difficult as seeing you in that kind of way really worked him up inside. It wasn’t until then he realized the pent up emotions he held for so long. More than ever, he wanted you. He felt that he was more than ready to have sex tonight but he was worried if you weren’t. And the last thing he wanted to happen was to pressure into doing something you weren’t ready for. "But she had to be ready right?", he thought. I mean, why would he wear a paper thin nightgown and sexy panties if you weren’t. Jungkook pondered these thoughts, trying to figure out what was best to do. His thoughts were soon interrupted by the sound of you sitting up from the couch. He looks at you stretching your arms and yawning loudly.

With sleepy eyes, you look at him, “Sorry for passing out. That movie was pretty boring. But I bet you loved it a lot.” When you met Jungkook's eyes, he quickly looked away. “Hey what’s wrong?”

Avoiding eye contact, Jungkook simply responds, “It's nothing.”

A bit annoyed, you took the TV remote and turned it off. Surprised, Jungkook looked at you, “I was watch-”

“Jungkook,” you said in a rather stern tone, “What’s been going on with you? You’ve been acting strange right before we started the movie. Please, tell me what’s on your mind.”

The expression on your face was with genuine concern and, with that, he felt like he owed you a proper explanation. Jungkook took a moment to find the right words to use but ultimately decided to be as honest as he could be.

“Y/N, do you ever think about, you know, having sex?”

Your eyes widened at the bluntness of his question. “W-what in the world brought this up,” you stummered. You felt flushed, your face was getting warmer by the second.

“Well, we’ve been together for a long time. Like I understand I’ve been busy with the group and you have your own obligations to handle, so I get there never has been much time to be intimate. But now that you're here with me, maybe it’s time to take the next step. What do you think?”

While you were pretty much at loss of words, you did understand where Jungkook was coming from. The seriousness of this conversation made you nervously fidget your fingers. “I do think about it, Jungkook. And I do want to sleep with you, it’s just that I still have my fears,” you confessed to him.

Jungkook moves closer to you on the couch and gently takes your hand. “Yeah I do too,” he says, “Being busy is one thing but we really should’ve been honest about this a long time ago.”

You shook your head. Feeling Jungkook caress the back of your hand melts away any nervousness you felt before. He was right about being more honest with each other. You trusted him after all, and you loved him with all of your heart.

After gazing at each other’s eyes for a moment, Jungkook leans towards you, placing a soft and lingering kiss on your lips. In response, your hands cupped his face causing you to deepen the kiss. Similar to how Jungkook felt when he saw your exposed thighs, the sincerity of your conversation as well as the passionate kissing between you two was waking something within you: pent up emotions that you’ve constantly buried down for the longest time.

After a minute or so, the two of you broke away from your kiss and gazed at each other lovingly.

“I love you so much, Kookie.”

“I love you too, Y/N.”

You wrapped your arms around his and sensuously whispered into his, “I want you so bad.”

Jungkook took that as an obvious sign that you were 100% ready and, for that night, he gladly obliges.

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horansqueen · 4 years

Text

You & Me : chapter 36

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: idk what to write here anyway no one reads it lol! but yea im posting this for Isa because she’s probably the only one who still cares about this story lmao ILYSM!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : some requests i didnt add because i didnt want to spoil this. theyll be added in the next chapter and probably at the END of the chapter lol

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 36 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

April 7th, 2018

I fell asleep on the bed as soon as we got done with diner. I finally had a day off and an other one the next day but I had been working non-stop for 6 days until late at night (or early in the morning) and I was exhausted. I shivered and woke up slowly, feelings my lips curl at Niall's touch. His fingertips were brushing up and down my arm, making goosebumps appeared on my skin, and I let out a low whimper.

"I missed you. How long have I been sleeping?" I asked in a mumble, forcing myself to open my eyes.

"You've been asleep for two hours." he pointed out before chuckling.

"I don't care." I let out with a childish voice. "I missed you anyway."

I squirmed a bit and ended up with my head on his lap. My lips curled into a smile when I felt his fingers slip in my hair and I breathed in, inhaling his scent and his expensive perfume.

I knew I was already fucked. I knew it was over for me and that if Niall and I broke up again at some point, it would kill me. At this point, being official or not didn't change anything anymore. I remembered back then, before I dated him, I always tried to suppress my feelings for him, I always managed to put a wall in front of them to hide them from everyone and especially myself. Right after One Direction's last tour, the walls collapsed and crashed, exposing my feelings to practically everyone, and at that time, it shocked me how much I loved him, how deep, real and intense my feelings were. They grew even more when we dated and remained stronger than ever for so long after he broke up with me. I was there with him now, my walls completely wrecked, and it made me realize that I had put my walls back in front of my feelings when I started dating Dylan but that wall was not that strong and Niall easily tore it apart without even knowing it. I was tired. I was exhausted to keep that wall there. Perhaps I had even helped him taking each brick off, one by one. Yeah, the more I thought about it, the more I was sure it was a team work.

"I was thinking we could go out tonight."

I groaned and wiggled a bit to press my face on his stomach, making him chuckle. "I'm tired."

"I know, but Louis says he misses you." he pointed out, making me groan again. "Come on, I'll buy you a few drinks."

I remained silent for a few seconds, wondering if I should go or not. I was pretty sure it would be fun but at the same time, spending time in bed, cuddling with the man I loved seemed even better. I moved a bit to lay on my back and look up at him. He was the only person in the world who looked good from this angle.

"Are you gonna stay with me the whole time?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Yes."

"You'll hold my hand under the table?" I added, staring at him and making him smile.

"I will."

"You're gonna dance with me whenever I ask you to?"

"Baby, we're not going in a club." he pointed out. It made my eyebrows raise up more and my lips part. "Fine, yes, I'll dance with you whenever you ask me."

My facial expression turned into a happy and satisfied one and I quickly got up, reaching for his closet.

"We have a deal, then!" I just said, trying to find something decent to wear before deciding on a pair of jeans and a band shirt (not a One Direction one, this time). It took me about 20 minutes to put make up on and when I joined Niall in the living room, I tilted my head as he got up.

"You look so good." I pointed out, moving closing and putting both my hands on his chest, my palms pressed on his blue dress shirt. "You're so classy and here i am, wearing jeans and a shirt."

He laughed a bit, moving his chin up slightly. "You want me to get changed?"

"No, I want you to get naked."

He laughed. "That's not happening. Louis is waiting and you know damn well he can show up just to annoy us." he explained with a smirk as I chuckled. "Tube?"

"Cab?" I argued, raising my nose up.

I didn't want our pictures taken, I didn't want to meet people, or get caught by paps. All I wanted was a nice evening with my friends and mostly, with Niall. He moved his arms around my waist, intertwining his fingers on my back and nodded slowly before sighing.

"Anything you want."

I smiled at him and moved closer to kiss his lips. He tasted good and I felt his hands move up on my back before smiling against his lips. If he changed his mind and asked me to stay home, I definitely wouldn't be against it. Unfortunately, we ended up at the bar quite quickly and after a while, I just stared at my glass, lost in my thoughts, before Louis leaned closer to me.

"'Dans la lune'?" I smiled and looked up, meeting his blue eyes. His lips curled too and he raised his eyebrows. "I've been practicing. How's my accent?"

"Almost as bad as Niall's." I just said, laughing when I saw him frown as his lips parted in shock.

"Hey, wait!" I heard, turning to Niall who was frowning too, clearly insulted. "I'm very good at that!"

"Honestly, no you're not." I admitted, raising my nose up and shrugging. "I'm sorry but you both suck at it."

"Well, you know what I'm good at?" Louis asked, getting up. "Paying beer for everyone."

He left and I turned to Niall, frowning a bit when he was looking away. I followed his eyes and my heart skipped a beat when I realized he was looking at a girl, sitting afar at a table. I took the time to look at her and bit my bottom lip before sighing. I couldn't be jealous, not now, and I couldn't pretend the girl was not beautiful. Still, it did hurt me and at the same time, it was ridiculous to expect him to never find an other girl pretty in his whole life.

"What are you looking at?" I asked low, getting his attention back.

His eyes roamed on my face and he blinked a few times. "Oh, no one."

"I didn't ask 'who', I asked 'what'..." I pointed out, licking my lips. "You were looking at that girl? She's pretty."

It was a lie. She was more than that, but it was too hard to admit.

"Yea, not bad." he replied, making me roll my eyes.

"Look, I know you think she's sexy, don't lie to me."

He sighed and reached for my hand under the table, making the left corner of my lips raise up. It was hard to be mad, or feel sad, when Niall was looking at me like that and I just tilted my head, staring right back at him. It didn't matter if he found other girls pretty, all that mattered was that he loved me, and that he wouldn't go back to his old habits.

"Okay, she's hot. But you're sexier." he bent closer to kiss me and I held my breath before he moved back slowly, remembering we weren't supposed to tell anyone that we were sort of seeing each other. He looked away, but not in the direction of the girl, and I just licked my lips as I watched him grab his beer and take a sip of it.

"Have you ever thought about having a threesome?"

He choked slightly and swallowed hard before wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. The sight was endearing and I chuckled.

"What?"

"I don't know, I was just saying." I proposed, shrugging a shoulder and making his eyes open slightly more.

"Would you be willing?"

I let my eyes move on his face and started questioning myself. I had no idea if I was and somehow, I felt like our relationship, whatever it was, was still very fragile at that point. Not our love, of course, that was strong, but the trust I had for him was still shaky and it scared me.

"I had a threesome before and it ruined the relationship I had with one of the girls. I think it's the main reason why me and her broke up."

He nodded and pressed his lips together. "Yea me too. Although I was pretty hammered I can definitely say it didn't help our couple, or whatever it was that we had." he paused and looked down before looking up in my eyes. "But we could make rules."

"Rules? Like what?"

He shrugged. "You tell me."

I stared at him again and I suddenly wished I never proposed that. I glanced at the girl on the other side of the room and felt something stir inside me. Yes, I was more confident about my body, but at the same time, I knew the bodies Niall was normally attracted to had nothing in common with mine.

"You.. can't kiss her. Or get your dick inside her." I pointed out, licking my lips nervously. "I don't want her to touch you, or-"

"Okay!" he laughed, shaking his head. "It'll be faster if you tell me what I'm allowed to do instead."

I groaned low and grimaced but I felt a bit better when he squeezed my hand again. I felt ridiculous for that feeling and I was wondering if it was my self-confidence that was getting low again, or simply the fact that it would hurt me to see the man I love making out naked with an other girl. I had seen Niall with other girls often in my life, and it has hurt me enough in the past, didn't it?

"We don't have to do it if you don't want to." he shrugged with a fond smile. "It's just a discussion for now. I mean, you know it's you I love, right?"

"Put yourself in my shoes, Niall." I tried to explain. "I mean we could have a threesome with a man."

"I'm not.. so sure." he replied with a frown.

"See?" I pointed out a bit louder, leaning against my chair and making him roll his eyes, amused.

"It's different, I'm not into men, but you're into women."

"But that's not what it's about." I explained a bit lower, tilting my head. "It's about us, and the feelings we have for each other. I've shared you so often before. I even lost you a few times. What if it happens again this time?" I sighed and shook my head. "I'll think about it."

"Hey, hey." he whispered, moving closer to me and leaning his elbows on his knees. "Don't stress over something so futile okay? I'd be totally fine watching you have sex with an other girl while I just sit close on a chair and jerk off f like a fuckin’ loser."

This time, I laughed and I just had time to see his lips curl into a smile before I tapped on the front of his cap, making it move down over his eyes. He placed it back and I noticed his eyes were shining. I tilted my head and my lips parted but just as I was about to say something, he kept talking.

"And yes, it would piss me off to see you get fucked by an other man." His gaze dropped to my shirt and moved up to my eyes again. "I'd probably throw him out."

I laughed again, feeling the sudden urge to kiss him. He smelled so good, he look beautiful and he was so close... All I could think about was grab his shirt with both hands and pull him close to feel his lips crash against mine. With all the strength in me, I got up and nibbled on my bottom lip for a few seconds.

"I'll be right back."

Quickly, I walked to the lady's room and leaned both hands against the counter, letting my head fall down slightly and closing my eyes. It was so tough to stay away from him all the time and it was starting to drive me insane. Of course, I didn't want our relationship out in the open but if our friends knew, it would make things a lot easier. I was so sure it was the right thing to do a few weeks ago but now, my certainty was faltering. It was harder and harder as the days went by and even if it was just to protect me at first, I knew it was useless now. I loved Niall. I always would. And being official or not wouldn't stop me from hurting if he decided to leave again.

Without thinking, I grabbed my phone in my pocket, moved my shirt up and bougfht my phone up too, to snap a picture. I quickly sent it to him before unclasping my bra and moving it up, taking an other picture. I sent it too just as I was getting a message from him.

'Fuck petal show me more'

My lips curled at his words and It only took a few seconds to get a second one.

'I want to suck on your tits so bad pet'

I swallowed hard and felt my whole body throb as I typed an answer. 'Do it now, then.'

I leaned against the counter and waited but when the door opened, I felt my heart jump in my chest, hoping it was not someone else. I sighed when I saw it was him and his eyes roamed on me for a few seconds. He turned around and locked the door, making me chuckle and I held myself back on the counter with my two hands.

"I hope we don't get caught."

"I don't care." he replied, making me smile more.

He took a few steps closer and even If I should have expected it, I held my breath when he bent down quickly. His lips wrapped around one of my nipples and I felt my legs tense as a short whimper got out of my throat. I felt his tongue flick on it before he sucked on it gently and when he moved to my other one, I glanced down only to see how hard the first one was. I remained motionless, my eyes half-closed, as his mouth, lips and tongue focused on my tits and after a while, my lips parted, my eyes closed completely and I let my head fall back on my shoulders slightly.

He stopped and I felt his hands on my hips, helping me up on the counter and when he moved between my legs, I felt my heart jump in my chest. His lips found mine and his hands reached my breasts as he kissed me deeply. He had moved his cap around and I just reached it to take it off, leaving it on the wet counter and slipping my fingers in his hair.

"Why didn't you wear a skirt, lover, it would have been easier to fuck you."

The sweet nickname made me smile against his mouth. I loved how impatient he was and I could feel his hard cock press on one of my thighs. He rubbed himself gently against me and I moaned again in his mouth before pulling away and licking my lips. I pushed on his chest gently and got off the counter before taking a step back as I unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans quickly. He stared at me, his gaze moving from my hands to my face and back to my hands as I pushed my pants and panties down to my knees and raised my eyebrows.

"I can bend down for you."

He walked up to me, turned me around and pushed me against the wall. I held my breath as his hand moved between my thighs to reach my pussy and he groaned, grabbing my waist and pulling it closer to him before spanking me one time but hard. I pressed my palms on the wall and closed my eyes when I felt the tip of his cock press on my walls and let out a curse word when it slipped inside me. My fingers curled and my short nails scratched against the wall as he started fucking me hard and fast. His hands found my breasts again and he grabbed them hard as a balance to fuck me deeper.

I was happy both of us hadn't drank too much and when he leaned against my back, I felt his lips brushing near my shoulder as he grunted.

"No one turns me on like you." he let out, making me hold my breath again. "No one makes me cum like you."

He pulled me away from the wall and pushed down on my back, holding me there with a hand on one of my shoulders as he spanked me again a few times. I could feel myself throb around his cock as he remained still and when his other hand reached for my other shoulder. I bent down more, making sure I was far enough from the wall, knowing he was about to go harder.

"Fuck, you're gonna make me cum."

He started fucking me so hard I had to put my own hand over my mouth to make sure I wouldn't moan too loud and I felt myself reach an orgasm as he fucked me deep. I shook against him for a few seconds and he groaned, waiting until I relaxed a bit to pull out and jerk off quickly. It took only a few seconds before I heard him groan louder, the tip of his cock rubbing against my ass, and my eyes fluttered close when I felt him push himself back inside me, fucking me for half a minute before his thrusts faltered.

"Fuck. I'm so sorry." he apologized as I moved up. He wrapped his arms around me and I could feel his cock brush against my ass. "I came all over you. And then inside you."

The thought made me shiver and he ran his hands on my breasts before pulling on my shirt to cover them. He took a step back and I saw him tuck his dick back in his pants as I turned around. I moved my panties and pants up and then worked on my bra when we heard someone push on the door. I held my breath and my eyes got bigger but Niall just chuckled.

"Liv? It's El!"

Without hesitation, Niall unlocked the door and opened it, leaving Eleanor speechless. I had to admit it was worth it and I laughed a bit.

"Uhm when you two are... well, done, I guess? There's shots waiting for you..." she grimaced and shook her head. "Okay. Bye. Gross."

I laughed and walked up to Niall, getting on my tiptoe to kiss him. "Now she knows." I whispered.

"It's okay, I'm sure she won't tell." Niall tried to reassure me as I chuckled.

"Yea, like she'll keep that from Louis!"

We both laughed and shook our heads and I finally went back to grab his cap on the counter before we walked back to the table. It was useless to pretend we weren't together or anything. At that point, I knew we were fucked and that everyone probably knew about us.

"Finally!" Louis said when he saw us before pushing shots closer to us. He waited until everyone had one and he moved it up over his head to make a toast. "To Neil and Olivia, who literally can't keep their pants on when they're around each other!"

Everyone laughed and I kicked him under the table. It only resulted in him laughing and smirking at me but we all drank and I turned to Niall who was smiling fondly at me. Fuck it, why should I care if my friends knew?

---

"I want to write a song about that." Niall said as we walked in his house.

I let my purse fall on the floor and walked slowly to the bathroom to take off my make up. "Write a song about what?"

He walked up to me and leaned against the door frame, just looking at me as I washed my face and it reminded me of that time I was too sick to do it myself and he had done it for me. It made something stir in my stomach and I sent him a fond smile in the mirror.

"A song about sex with you." he explained, pushing his hands in his pockets as I chuckled.

"Make it more general, maybe? And don't use my name!"

He chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Do you know me at all?"

I grabbed my phone to check the time and it's only when I saw the date that I frowned. Today was april 7th (now 8th), and I was sure I had something planned on the 6th. When I remembered, I felt my heart jump in my throat and held myself against the counter.

"Liv, hey, are you okay?"

Niall was close to me, I could feel the heath of his body against mine and his hand on my back and I swallowed hard before moving my body back up and turning to him, blinking a few times as he frowned. Could I really tell him that? Would I have the guts to say it out loud?

"Niall, I'm late."

He frowned for a second and then he understood. His lips parted and an expression appeared on his face. It looked like fear.

"It's... it's stress, right? You're on birth control?" he seemed panicked and I swallowed hard, feeling suddenly extremely guilty.

"Yea but those pills aren't a hundred percent safe." I pointed out, shaking my head before my traits softened. "No it's probably just stress, I've been working a lot and not sleeping much..."

He nodded and searched for his phone in his pocket before dialing a number quickly. I frowned and walked closer to him, wanting to ask him who he was calling but I didn't dare. He turned to me and showed me his forefinger, telling me to give him a minute and he left. I leaned against the counter again, head down between my shoulders, and felt myself tear up. I had been through so many things recently and I was exhausted. Adding a pregnancy to my life was not a good thing at the moment and I was also scared it would break something between Niall and I, and I was not ready to lose him.

He came back and wrapped his arms around me, leaning his chin on my shoulder. I looked at his reflection in the mirror and he sent me a loving smile that I sent back.

"I called the drug store. They're sending us a few tests. We'll be fixed tonight."

I felt relieved but also nervous and when the doorbell rang, we argued on who was going to answer. He won and I waited for him to come back, sitting on the couch and shaking my leg. He sat next to me and took a box out, handling it to me. I just stared at it for a few seconds until he pushed the side of his upper body gently against mine.

"Petal, it's okay. If you're pregnant, we'll adjust."

"It's gonna ruin what we have." I let out in a whisper.

In half a second, he was kneeling in front of me, searching for my eyes and when our gazes met, he raised his eyebrows.

"Nothing will ruin what we have anymore. Nothing. I won't let anything bring us apart. I want to be with you, Olivia. Okay, kids weren't planned before a few years but if you're pregnant, like I said, we'll make the best of it." he paused and sighed, noticing I was still nervous and he licked his lips. "Do you love me?"

"More than anything in the world. More than anyone I ever loved, or will ever love. You know it." I admitted, feeling my voice break slightly.

"I love you too. I'm in love with you." he stopped talking and handed me the box. "You can do this."

I was shaking when I got out of the bathroom and quickly put the stick in his hands. I was near tears, and I had been for about an hour, but I was not really sure why. His words should have made me feel better and they did, but somehow, I still felt extremely vulnerable and fragile and I was not sure why.

"Please, look at it for me, I can't do this."

I turned around, my back now facing him, and let a few tears fall before wiping them quickly. It felt like an other hour had passed and I finally turned around and sighed.

"So? Niall? Is it positive?"

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan story #niall horan writing #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #my fanfics #yam #sorry it took me so long to update

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ladybugsfanfics · 4 years

Text

A Cacoethes For Doing Stupid Things | Steve Rogers

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

Style: One Shot

WC: 4.1k+

Warnings: mutal pining, some angst, dumbasses, maybe some swear words

Summary: This is for @buckysknifecollection‘s writing challenge, which is due today so I’m right on time, huh? My prompt was “That’s not a real word.” and it will be bolded in the story.

A/N: i know im not too active currently and im kinda sorry, but ive been sick for the last week and im tired and struggling to write, but im doing my best and hopefully i have more coming soon! Thanks for sticking with me anyways ^_^

“It’s easy.” Sharon stands at the head of the table, blocking the previous shown pictures of the male the team’s supposed to gather information on. “Well, except the getting into the location part.”

Natasha reads through the guest list for the event; a gala on New Year’s Eve in Paris. Her gaze flickers up from the papers to you for the split second of a moment, then they go back down into the paper. And then she does it again, but instead of going back to the paper, they land on Sharon. “I have an idea.”

“Shoot.”

“Steve is on the guest list.” She turns the paper around and slides it across the table towards you. “Someone could be his plus one.”

You shake your head. “He’s retired. Why would he agree to be a part of a mission?”

“He won’t be part of it,” replies Nat, “he’ll just be the gateway inside.”

“For one person. What about the rest of us?” You cock a brow.

Nat smiles, or rather smirks. “You’re the one going in. And if you do your little tech thing and hitch yourself up to his phone, we’ll get more information than we could ask for.”

You don’t hide the sigh that travels through your body. “Why me?”

Sharon and Nat share a look you don’t like. And you know their next words before they leave Sharon’s mouth. “You got a little history. The world already knows, plus, the world doesn’t know you’re a SHIELD agent, they know Natasha is.”

“Dammit,” you whisper under your breath. “Have you asked Steve? I’m not doing that part.”

“Considering we just thought of it, no, but don’t worry. He’ll say yes.” Nat winks your way as she stands and walks out of the room, phone already in hand and pressed to her ear before she’s out the door.

You let out another sigh, give Sharon your patented displeased look, and follow Nat out of the briefing room. Steve saying yes wasn’t exactly the part of the plan you were worried about.

---

“The plan is simple. You go to Paris, act like a couple, get into the gala, find the target, plant the device on his phone, have a good time, act like a couple, mission done.”

Sharon’s words haunt you during the car ride to the airport. There is just something so annoying about having to spend this much time with the person you thought was the love of your life but then went on and broke your heart instead (and then tried to get it back but you weren’t having it).

Because of Steve’s retirement, you have to take a commercial flight to Paris. He’d also booked a room for three nights; the night you get there, the night before the gala, and the night of the gala.

And the best part is that you have to spend all three nights with him there to keep up the appearance and not alert that this is a mission. That’s not the easiest thing when you haven’t talked to someone for well over half a year.

Bucky helps get your luggage out of the car (a suitcase each), and he gives Steve a hug and a pat on the back before he moves to you. He pulls you in for an embrace and you relax into his touch. “Give him hell,” he whispers.

You scoff. “Kidnap me instead.”

“Sorry, no can do.” Bucky pulls out of the hug and you shake your head in disappointment. “Don’t do anything stupid. Either of you.”

Steve nods and you try for a smile. “We won’t,” says Steve. The two of you watch as Bucky drives away, and then you head inside.

Neither of you say anything during the check-in, nor anything during the security control. First as you’re waiting by the gate, and the silence settles as awkward because (despite you pulling out a book) neither of you have anything to do or occupy yourself with, does Steve say something.

“I’m sorry you have to come along like this.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t think about asking Tony for a private jet, but I’m also a tiny bit happy about it because that means less emissions.” You shake your head and try to read the words on the page in front of you. It doesn’t work. They swirl around like a bowl of alphabet soup, but you’re not gonna show that because you really don’t want to talk to Steve unless you have to.

Thankfully Steve doesn’t push it, and it’s not long before they announce that boarding can start. You both get up, grabbing your carry-ons and walking to the line already made up. It’s now the problem really starts; now you can’t even have a book as an excuse not to talk to him.

Act like a couple .

God, Sharon’s voice is a pain in the ass. You’re supposed to make the appearance that you’re a couple, but you can’t even have a normal conversation. You’re also standing with too much space for that to seem true.

Your heart hammers inside your chest, but you still make the move to grab Steve’s hand and intertwining your fingers. He looks down at you, wide-eyed, but in a moment, he’s trying to suppress a smile. You can see the contours of it on his face, and you wish you could wipe it off.

You also wish you didn’t enjoy it so much yourself.

But you get to let go as you get onto the plane, and you don’t make a move to hold it again on the move there and to your seats. You do slightly enjoy how Steve’s shoulder touches yours as you sit, the space not big enough for your comfort zone but perfect for accidental touching.

(Honestly, Steve, you’re rich. Why didn’t you get first class on a six hour flight? Like, come on!)

“Do you need more space?” he asks, though, as you settle in and practically press yourself to the window.

You shake your head. “Gonna sleep anyways, so I’m good.”

“Sleep? Won’t you struggle sleeping tonight? You’ll sleep through the day.” He cocks a brow.

“Relax, old man. I like sleeping, I don’t get a lot of it, watch me make the best of it. I slept like two hours tonight so sleeping now shouldn’t say anything.” You roll your eyes at him and use the scarf that was around your neck as a blanket. The wall is hard, but better than nothing as a pillow. (If you know yourself right―and you do―you’ll end up using Steve as a pillow anyways. Hopefully, that’s not the better part of the flight.)

---

“Hey, sweetheart, we’ve landed.” Steve’s voice is barely audible. He nudges you slightly, and you blink yourself awake. It takes about two seconds to realise you used Steve as a pillow, and you’d thought it’d be his shoulder, but, no, your head is in his lap.

And that’s all it takes for you to shoot up. That’s all it takes for you to become wide awake. (The sweetheart part did also do something, because that’s what really had your heart beating so fast, but you don’t want to acknowledge that.)

You busy yourself with taking off your seatbelt and grabbing your backpack (the carry-on). In your head, you’re trying to figure out how you could end up in his lap. There’s an armrest between the seats, and you didn’t pull it up, meaning Steve did.

Think about something else, god, please think about something else .

You will yourself to divert your attention over to what you dreamt about instead. But it was short lived and nothing exciting, so you’re quickly lost back to your mind running around about Steve.

Who’s the one to grab your suitcases off the baggage claim (and help some other girl that struggled with hers―and yes, your gut felt stabbed and your heart ached when she tiptoed to kiss his cheek to thank him for his help).

However, you’re not really one to say anything about… that, so when he comes back, you keep your mouth shut and take the suitcase he offers you. In your free hand, you go back to intertwining your hand in his. Act like a couple . If it didn’t feel like you burned your hand off at Steve’s touch it would be easier, but alas, his touch is scorching.

And you enjoy it all too much. In fact, you’ve missed it.

It’s all you can think about when you let go of his hand to get a cab into the city, and it’s all you can think about as the silence settles over the cab ride. You barely listen as Steve checks into the hotel, and you only gain back your consciousness when his hand grazes yours (bringing back the scorching heat) as he gives you your own key to the room.

You’re brought back to a deep crushing reality you hadn’t expected when you unlock the door to your room and walk inside.

It’s rather big; a desk by the floor-to-ceiling window, a chair below it and an armchair in the corner with a lamp (nice reading spot). The door to the bathroom opens into a rather big one with both a tub and a shower, and there’s a little wardrobe in the entry-way with a safe.

The thing that has your heart hammering in your chest and the feeling of impending sweat making its way down your back, is the fact that there’s only one bed. It’s big, or more than big enough for two people, but you know that―no matter what kind of wall you build between you two―you’ll end up sleeping pretty close to Steve. You let out a sigh, and when you turn to Steve (who places his suitcase on the suitcase holder) he smiles apologetically at you.

“I’m sorry, I… Didn’t think about the fact that there’s only one bed.” His hand goes up to scratch his neck.

You shake your head. “Whatever. I’ll be building a wall, and I guess it would be a little weird with two beds seeing as the hotel workers are supposed to think we’re a couple too.” You’ll just have to make the best of it.

“Okay then. You hungry? You didn’t eat anything on the plane and it’s already nine.”

“Yeah, food sounds good.” Even though the last thing you want is to go out and eat; you’ll have to act like a couple, which means touching him. You don’t think you can survive the beating of your heart and the way your skin burns at his touch.

But you can’t survive without food either. And it’s nice practice for what tomorrow brings. A day in Paris going sightseeing with Steve Rogers, and in public you have to play his girlfriend.

Can this mission be over yet?

---

Sleep comes late. When you and Steve got back from eating, you were tired, yes (despite the long nap on the plane), but you couldn’t bear falling asleep in the same bed as Steve. The excuse to read some (and sit in that cozy chair with the lamp) comes so easy that even Steve doesn’t know how to reply.

He shrugs and makes his way to the bathroom as you get out a book and sit down in the chair.

It is as cozy as it looked, and you’re quick to kick off your shoes and tuck your legs underneath you. The book, on the other hand, is not that enticing. Instead your gaze goes to the view outside.

Night lies over Paris, yet there’s a thousand lights in every direction. An orange hue comes off them, and a quiet, romantic feeling sets in you. It aches, knowing that it’s pretend. It aches knowing that you and Steve haven’t really talked.

Even during dinner, it was rather quiet. Only a few words were exchanged. A few questions about the retired life, about how it is working for SHIELD. Nothing much. Nothing more than a few dozen stolen glances, from you at least.

The handle of the bathroom rattles as the door opens. To make sure Steve doesn’t say anything about going to bed, you open the book and let your eyes run over the page. You hear him walk around, rummage through his suitcase a little, and then the bed creaks as he settles into it.

You lift your eyes, stealing another glance at the man. Your heart leaps to your throat seeing that he’s sleeping in only boxers. He’s leaning against the headrest, cover only pulled up to his hips and you have to chide yourself for not looking away.

If he catches you, you’re not sure whether you’ll live to go through with the mission. After all, the hardest part of it isn’t gathering intel and placing the device on the target’s phone. No, the hardest part is being so close to Steve Rogers and having your heart ache at the sight of him.

“Are you gonna stay up long?”

At the sound of his voice, you lift your gaze fully to look at him. Your throat feels awfully dry, but you swallow and shake your head. “No, I don’t think so. Just like reading a bit before going to bed.”

He nods. “Okay. Did you want to build a wall?” His voice is small, so gentle, and the ache in your heart grows bigger.

“I don’t think we need it. Just keep to your side of the bed, okay?” You try for a small smile, and when he nods and gives one back, you relax slightly.

The book is no easier to read now than when you were waiting to board the plane. It’s a lot harder, actually, and you don’t think Steve’s fallen asleep when you put it away and make it to the bathroom. You grab a big t-shirt that you usually sleep in and your toiletries on your way, and try to make as little sound as possible.

Maybe you spend more time there than you need, but you need to psych yourself up. You’re not ready to be this close to Steve, not ready to maybe, possibly, have that talk. But eventually, you get out, turn off the lights and crawl into bed.

Steve’s body heat comes off him, radiates to your side of the bed. It’s cold at first, but with the cover drawn and the closeness of Steve, it feels like you’re sweating. Your thoughts won’t die down. Your mind won’t rest. Even if your eyes feel heavy and you let them close.

Sleep comes after what feels like an eternity. Only, sleep brings images you don’t want. Images of blood and fire, of hurt and screams echoing in the distance, of yelling and shouting, of orders not followed, of gunfire. It’s what every night has consisted of lately, what every night brings, and why you rarely sleep.

As the gunfire comes to its highest, and the screams penetrate your mind, and the red color shades every scene that plays before you, something lulls at the edge of your mind. The images ceases, almost instantly, and a deep slumber finally consumes you. A dreamless sleep that’s the best you’ve had in a long time.

---

Warm.

That’s how you feel when you wake up. Not scorching, like when you touch Steve. But warm, a deep sense of warmth that seems to lull your mind and that carries with it something safe, something… something you can’t pinpoint.

Your eyes open slowly. Opens enough to see the light cascading through the blinds. Opens enough to see the slight hint of skin of your own arm, and the hint of skin of someone else’s arm. It’s draped over your torso, and the head of whoever it belongs to is nuzzled into your neck as you can feel the breath fanning your back. The toned chest of the man behind you is easily felt as you stiffen.

And you know instantly why you felt so safe.

You try to wiggle out of Steve’s grip, but the sleeping man easily tightens it and drags you back into him. He mumbles something, but can’t make it out. You feel torn. Torn between lying there, so close to him that adrenaline rushes through your veins, and leaving, where the world feels much less safe, but your heart won’t threaten to leave your ribcage.

There’s a million reasons why you shouldn’t indulge, why you shouldn’t let it continue. But there’s also the one reason why you want to lie there forever.

You lift your left arm slightly, just to check the clock. Ten AM . That’s not bad. That means you got about seven hours of sleep. That’s more than three times your usual amount. And the reason behind it is the most annoying one there could ever be.

“Steve,” you say. Your voice is gentle, trying to wake him slowly and to make sure that when he does, and he notices that you’re spooning, he won’t immediately freak out and retreat.

But the man doesn’t respond to your voice, only nuzzles further into your hair. God, be strong .

“Steve,” you repeat, voice louder and sterner, but with no more than what you deem necessary to actually wake him.

“Huh?” you hear, which prompts a sigh of relief. The breath fanning your neck pulls away, and first when you hear a slight grunt does the arm around your torso retreat and the warmth of the man it belongs to leaves your back.

You turn around to see him, perfect (or as perfect as you can) poker face coloring your face. He doesn’t need to know you enjoyed it, or that you needed it. However, the scared look on his face doesn’t help.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to…”

You wave it away. “Don’t worry. It’s okay.” Even with the small smile you give him, the small reassurance that it is in fact okay (more than okay), Steve presses his lips together and looks so very apologetic.

“Let’s just get up. Get some breakfast and start sightseeing?”

That helps with the look on Steve’s face. He relaxes, but there’s still some lingering of sadness in his eyes and remorse coloring his features. He nods, shoots you another small apologetic look, and gets out of the bed. Immediately, he disappears into the bathroom.

The day goes by faster than you expected. You see the Eiffel tower (annoy yourself by thinking how it’s supposed to be romantic―and you’re supposed to act like a couple―and how that’s not happening), you visit the Louvre, and you take a walk past the Notre Dame Cathedral, and (after a lot of begging from your side―and pulling some strings) you visit the catacombs.

Because you keep having something to do, your mind doesn’t go to the place it has been the last twenty-four hours. You have to act like a couple (something that is currently not happening due to Steve’s guilt from this morning), and the thought was agonizing when Sharon first told you, but then you did it a little and the more you did the more you enjoyed it and the more it just became an excuse.

Only, that excuse doesn’t help so much when Steve won’t even look at you without the look of a kicked puppy, only said puppy knows he was in the wrong. It’s excruciating. And all you want is to just thread your fingers through his and feel your mind slither away underneath his touch.

Can’t always have what you want.

---

“The plan is easy. We go in, we find the target, I chit-chat with him, some flirting, fish his phone from his pocket in a pretend fall and place the chip in it. Easy.” You recount the plan to Steve for the n th time. He’s annoyed, because you’re not letting go of the part about him not doing anything .

He’s about to open his mouth again, but you shush him before he can. “No! You retired Steve, you withdrew from it. Tonight, you’re a tool that is going to act madly in love with me and not do anything else. You are, of course, welcome to save me from a bullet and die yourself.” A slight part of you wants to laugh. Even as you try to joke about it, you do want him to be madly in love with you. And, despite the bittersweet feelings about him (and the play of hate), you don’t actually want him to die. You don’t even want him to be hurt.

But Steve just nods. That he’s okay with. The fact that he’s not supposed to help because, technically, he’s a civilian, that he doesn’t grasp.

Doesn’t matter anyways because the car pulls up to the place of the event. You sigh before letting Steve help you out, linking your hand with his arm before you walk up the red carpet that lines the entrance. (Gosh, this is even fancier than you expected).

At the door, a man dressed in a black tux eyes the two of you. “Name?” he says, and just by how he says it, you feel like you don’t belong. This is way too fancy for your taste.

“Rogers,” replies Steve, completely unfazed by the male’s posh… everything . “Steve Rogers.”

The man scans a list and then looks up at Steve with a fake smile. “Good evening, mister Rogers. The hosts are expecting you. Please walk down the hall and the first to the left to relieve your coats.”

Shortly after the two of you find your table, which (if by purpose or by accident, you don’t know) turns out to be shared with your target. A flirty smile and introduction goes a long way to make the man look happy about the seating. It also goes a long way to make Steve actually show his true feelings, as after you sit, he pulls your chair a little closer to his own.

You can’t say you mind.

---

The mission itself goes well. Since you didn’t have that much to do, it only took some light flirting to attach a chip to your targets phone and keep on with your night. Unfortunately, that’s not too easy when Steve insists on following said target as he suspiciously sneaks his way through the crowd and towards rooms clearly marked off limits.

“Steve, why are we doing this?”

Steve’s dragging you along with him, quickly checking side to side before going through the same door as your target and yanking your arm so that you follow. “Because that little tech thing you did is probably not enough.”

You roll your eyes. “God, you got a real cacoethes for running straight into danger, huh?”

“A what now?” Steve stops, squinting at you with confusion written all over his face.

“Cacoethes.”

“ That’s not a real word. ”

You scoff. “‘Course it is. Means to have an uncontrollable urge or desire for doing inadvisable things, like smoking or drinking too much or running head first into danger as a civilian .” At the last part you poke him in the chest and mutter through clenched teeth.

Steve bites his lips and rubs his neck. “Oh,” he lets out. “I still don’t know if it’s a real word, but sure. But we should―”

Before he can finish, you hear footsteps coming down the hallway. You look for a spot to hide, and not finding one, your mind thinks quick of a cover up should you actually be caught.

As you press your lips to Steve’s, you can’t help but think that maybe you have a cacoethes yourself. Because the press of his lips against yours has your heart ache and beat at the same time. It’s soft, yet it’s rough. It’s passionate yet hasty.

And it’s so full of desire, it makes your knees go weak.

A cough to your side makes the two of you pull away from each other, faces flushed and a kind of embarrassing smile on your face.

“Excuse me, but the two of you are not allowed back here.” It’s a security guard, but he doesn’t look as mad as you thought he would be.

Rubbing your neck and smiling sheepishly, you let out an awkward laugh. “So sorry, sir. We… uh, we just… were looking for somewhere, you know, private.” You lean a little into Steve’s chest at that to give some more to the role.

“Just leave the party, then, miss. I’m sure no one would miss you.” The security guard winks. “I’ll show you a quick way out back if you don’t want to be spotted.”

You press your lips together and intertwine your hand with Steve’s. “That would be great, thank you.”

And when Steve doesn’t complain or mention anything about having something to do, you both follow him out.

That night, neither of you think anything about sleeping in the same bed, or sleeping close together. Or about the fact that you’re both naked.

Maybe things are looking good after all.

permanent: @devilbat @adefectivedetective @gamillian @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic @heartislubbingdubbing @wiczer @chillcan @geeksareunique @fandom-imagines1 @murdermornings

steve: @melannie77

#steve rogers #buckysknifecollectionchallenge #steve rogers x reader #retired steve rogers #avengers x reader #marvel #avenger #marvel x reader #reader insert #fanfic #fanfiction

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dazed--xx · 4 years

Text

Bulletproof Love

Request: Can I have a Jimin imagine where you think he’s cheating cause you have a lot of trust issues which leads to a fight. Thank you❤️

Member: Trainee!Jimin x Reader

Genre: ANGST, Smut, Fluff if you squint

Word Count: 3,346

Trigger Warning: SMOKING CIGARETTES AND WEED

A/N: So the title is this song by Pierce the veil its better to listen to it while you read you’ll understand the lyrics in between the story better, im just a little emo kid honestly lol. ANYWAY FIRST JIMIN FIC. HOPE THE PERSON THAT REQUESTED THIS ENJOYS IT LITERALLY HAD A MIND OF ITS OWN

I breathe you in with smoke in the backyard lights

“Y/N-ah?!” Sunny shouts from the other side of the inferno, drink in her left hand, the blunt in the other extended toward me. The smoke fills my lungs, the need to cough builds as I inhale. The sliding door behind me opening, as 3 loud voices boom “SUNNY!”. My eyes drifting to the bonfire in front of me, my social anxiety creeping up as I take another hit of the blunt. One of the 3 figures setting themselves down on the left side of me. My hand reaches out to pass the vice, eyes glued to the ground. “Oh...umm..I-I... don't” a soft anxious voice speaks, my eyes traveling from the fire to the male next to me.

A soft smile appears on my face as his stunned eyes widen. “N-not that there's anything wrong with.....I mean I just don’t... I'm not like judging or whatever....I mean um-” “You don’t smoke I get it not a big deal can you hand it to the person next to you please” I ask softly. He nods, “I'm Jimin” “Y/N” We used to laugh until we choked into the wasted nights (Wasted nights)

My excitement built as I got ready to go with Sunny to her new boyfriend's party. Jimin always seemed to find his way at every party I went to after Sunny’s. My crush growing rapidly as each encounter left me in a whirlwind of emotions. “Come on Y/N!” Sunny shouts from my living room. “Relax bitch” I laugh as I enter the living room. “Let’s go Tae is probably waiting for us at Jimin’s” She snaps. “W-we’re going to Jimin’s...?” I mumble. Sunny smiles a radiance I only wish I could hope for.

“I didn’t tell you? I'm sorry I thought I did” She smirks I shake my head. “Y/N you need to tell him how you feel or just move on” “I know but it's not easy man, I’m not like you” I mumble. “Girl, I know I confessed to Tae over a year ago, remember?” I shake my head Sunny sighs. “Y/N remember I was like utterly heartbroken because that kid that worked with me rejected me” the memory rushing to my mind like a tidal wave. Taehyung was the jerk coworker that slept with her and put her into a major depression. She quit her job and reinvented everything in her life. After Tae rejected her, she started smoking, my habit becoming hers.

“I extended the invitation to him to show him I was over him you know? I went back to the café a day before the party and I didn’t even think he would be there Jungkook told me they all quit a while back. So, I figured why not and they were there so I just invited him, I wasn’t expecting him to actually show up but he did. When Jimin came and sat next to you he pulled me away. He told me that he missed me and our times together, that he hates how I smoke and that I don’t hold myself the way I used to and then he cried like hard core sobbed because and I quote ‘ he made a mistake and he’s been madly in love with me since before we even hooked up the first time’ “ Sunny explains.

“Girl let me tell you I was shook honestly and I don’t know how it happened but one thing leads to another and we hooked up in the shed while everyone was sitting at the bonfire. After that Tae had to go and I figured damn he just used me again man, but I woke up in the morning with the cutest good morning text from him telling me that he's happy I'm his again and we just haven't left each other's side” I nod “Yeah, but you actually had the balls to confess. Both of you did really, I don’t have that. I can't tell him how I feel because I'm not sure how I feel.” “Y/N don’t play yourself, cause your ass definitely knows how you feel” She says jokingly “Let’s go” I grab my jacket and rush out the door.

Pulling up the music blaring loud, cars sprawled around the street and yard. Taehyung standing outside, Jimin next to him a smile on his lips. Sunny’s tiny frame running and wrapping herself around Taehyung. Jimin noticing my slowly approaching figure a friendly smile appears on his face. “You came,” he pulls me into a hug “thank god! I could not survive this without you” he pouts. “Why would you think I wouldn’t come?” I question. “Sunny told me big crowds weren't really your thing” dread filled my stomach “I-is there a lot of people h-here?” Jimin nods slowly “But don’t worry you will be with me all night and since it's my party I can clear any room you need okay” He pulls my face into his hands as he speaks and looks in my eyes. I nod slowly “It's fine honestly I'll be okay you don’t have to do that” “EHEM as cute as all this flirting is, I need a drink where shall I go Jiminie?” Sunny cuts me off. “OH! Yeah um lets go inside huh” Jimin says still looking at me his hands returning to his side as a blush creeps onto his face.

The party is packed, my anxiety driving me outside away from the cluster fuck of people. Sunny disappearing soon after we entered the house. Pulling a cigarette out of my pack standing against the side of the house. Its dark, the shadow of the home covering me as I inhale, the nicotine relaxing. Staring at the stars as I lean back. “I thought I'd find you out here” Jimin’s voice breaks through the silence. I hold up the cigarette “Don’t want to smoke in the house.” Jimin nods “Thanks but you could have its cold out here” I shrug “I like the cold....” my eyes drift to the ground “It was too crowded wasn’t it?” He asks curtly. I nod slowly “but it's fine I'll be fine I'm used to dealing with crowds like this I know how to make myself feel comfortable” “By sneaking off and being alone?” He asks laughing. I nod giggling “yeah” “I guess that’s the best way to deal with a crowd” He says jokingly.

My body shifts as I ash the cigarette flicking it far from the house. Reaching for my pack to pull my blunt out, Jimin's hand is around my wrist. My eyes trail up to his face “Let’s go inside huh?” I shake my head “I like it out here.... just us” His hand releases me, moving up to my chin “Just us huh?” a blush creeps onto my face “I-I mean-” “you're cute when you're flustered” He says softly. “I'm not flustered I just...wait did you just call me cute?” I state quickly. He nods laughing “Duh I think your cute, no offense but I wouldn’t be out here if I didn’t...” “Oh...I do too, think you're cute I mean” “I know” He says bluntly I stare at him dumbfounded “Y/N I'm not the type to beat around the bush, I like you and I know you like me and I'm gonna kiss you now” He states pressing his lips to mine. My body in shock from the sudden confession, I slowly respond to his kiss. My arms snake around his neck, his hands on my waist pulling my body against his.

His lips trail down to my neck, sucking. My panties growing wet, he presses me against the wall. “Hmmm you're so damn beautiful.” He whispers in my ear. His member growing hard against my thigh. His right-hand snakes down and lifts my leg around his waist. “Jump” He whispers between pecks against my neck. Following his instructions my legs are wrapped around his waist as he presses his lips against mine. Grinding his member into my core, my panties soaked through my jeans. I softly push on his shoulders. He pulls away as my hand reaches for the zipper of his jeans my lips attacking his neck. Soon both of our pants are off, my legs back around his waist his member buried in my core. He thrusts harshly losing himself in my core “Fuck I've imagined this so many fucking times but it's never been this fucking good god” He moans “it's all yours baby” His lips back on mine at my statement.

It was the best time of my life, but now I sleep alone

Jimin and I have been together for 6 months now and it's been perfect.

*Ping*

Jimin’s phone goes off again, as he beams at the screen. His hands removing themselves from my hair as he replies to the stranger on the other side of his phone. “Baby girl unfortunately I have to put this on hold I gotta go to practice.” He states sadly. Confused I pull my phone out of my pocket and check the time “At 12:23 AM? That’s a weird time to set a practice....” I state. Jimin’s face contorts “Excuse me?!? Are you saying I’m lying?” I sit up “What?! No.... I was just saying it was odd. That’s all” He nods clearly irked by my former statement. “Call me when you get done with practice babe, maybe I'll bring you breakfast or something” I smile at him as he stands from my couch preparing to exit. A soft grunt from his mouth as he pulls his jacket on making his way toward the door “Don’t bother....”. My figure following behind him, like a puppy desperate to keep its owner home. “I love you” I call out as the door slams.

The second he’s out the door my tears consume me as the thoughts take over. Who was that he was texting? Why did he flip out like that? Is he having regrets? I trudge back to my bedroom and lay in bed cocooning myself in the comforter crying myself to sleep, alone.

So darling, don't, don't wake me up, cause my thrill is gone (Say I'm wrong) In the sunset turning red behind the smoke Forever and alone

The sun beaming on my eyes as I check my phone. 12:23 pm no new messages from Jimin. The day goes by extraordinarily slow as I wait for Jimin to return to the apartment. The thoughts of another woman consuming me as the hours pass, soon its night and I am falling asleep alone again.

You've gone and sewn me to this bed, the taste of you and me (You and me) Will never leave my lips again under the blinding rain (Blinding rain) I wanna hold your hand so tight I'm gonna break my wrist (Break my wrist) And when the vultures sing tonight, I'm gonna join right in

I'll sing along, oh 'Cause I don't know any other song I'll sing along But I'm barely hanging on No, I'm barely hanging on By the time you're hearing this I'll already be gone And now there's nothing to do but scream at the drunken moon

*ONE WEEK LATER*

The party I stumble into drunk with Sunny is extremely crowded, her form fitting dress hugging my body. The pregame at my apartment a little excessive, knowing it was Taehyung’s party. Leading my way to the kitchen for a drink, taking me away from Sunny and Taehyung. A crowd of people doing shots, excitedly handing me one. Consuming the unknown shot, I reach for a beer. My drunk form stumbling into the living room, Jimin’s frame in front of me. A smile on his face, drink in his hand. A mysterious woman walking up to him, placing herself at his side. They have a small conversation before she takes his hand and leads him out back.

Running toward the exit, I head home. Once I'm down the street my body collapses as the sobs take over. HE’S CHEATING ON ME, so blatantly, so publicly, he doesn’t care. I open my apartment door dragging myself to my room plugging my phone in bringing it back to life as messages come through on my phone. I click on the messages from Jimin.....

I leave the conversation without responding as I read Sunny’s messages

Throwing my phone down, lying in bed falling asleep. Waking up in the sun beaming on my face, a sharp pain shoots through my head. Getting out of bed to close the curtains I throw myself back in my comforter. Checking my phone 2:19 pm, Damn slept all day. I text Sunny

I go to Jimin’s messages in my phone...

A knock on the door pulls me out of the bed, Jimin’s disheveled frame worried and slumped at my door frame as he wraps his arms around me. “Fuck I needed to see you baby” He whispers. His lips pressing against mine, hunger in them. Lifting me wrapping his arms around my waist, my legs around his.

Our sweaty naked bodies connecting “Fuck! Take it, yes baby girl take that cock” His hand pinning my waist to my bed, his thrusts sloppy. My walls clenching tightly pleasure building within my core as Jimin attacks my sweet spot. “Shit you're so wet for me baby girl I'm gonna cum, where do you want me to cum?” He moans out, his lips attacking my neck marking me as his own. “Cum inside me” His movements halt, His eyes connecting with mine “Are you sure?” I nod quickly. A smile forms on Jimin’s face “beg for it...” the need for him to move builds. I clench tightly around him “No fair baby you're so tight as it is” He pouts, my arms snaking around his neck pulling his lips onto mine as he begins finding a steady rhythm inside me.

Soon we are wrapped up in my comforter, bodies cuddled together; limbs tangled.

*PING, PING, PING*

A series of messages go through his phone. Jimin jumps out of my bed rushing to find his phone. “SHIT! I GOTTA GO” He states checking the contents of the mysterious message. “Aww I thought we could watch a movie....” I pout. He halts his dressing, facing me “I’m sorry, I gotta go I didn’t realize what time it was I’m late for a meeting I wouldn’t have been able to stay I just wanted to be with you until I had to go to the meeting. I missed you.” I nod slowly at his words. “Come back after if you want” He smiles “I'll try..” He says as he heads out the door. “I love you!” I shout as he runs out the door. A meeting???? Did he really just sleep with me and then leave?? WAS I OKAY WITH IT?????!!?!?!

This isn't fair! (No!) Don't you try to blame this on me (Ohhh) My love for you was bulletproof but you're the one who shot me And God damn it, I can barely say your name So I'll try to write and fill the pen with blood from the sink Woah oh, oh oh But don't just say it, you should sing my name Pretend that it's a song 'cause forever it's yours And we can sing this on the way home

I haven’t heard from Jimin in 2 weeks, my messages unanswered. My low point at its lowest, I haven’t left my apartment other than for work in a week. Scrolling through Instagram I see a picture on Taehyung’s page. Him, Jungkook, Jimin, and that mystery girl I saw Jimin sneak off with at that party. Jimin’s arm wrapped around her waist. Her chest pressed against him. Jealousy creeping up inside of me as I text Jimin a number of times again.

A few hours pass and still no words from Jimin, my mind racing as my heartbreaks staring at the photo over and over again. Jimin’s snapchat story updating all day with videos of her, him and Jungkook. Laughter filling in-between them. The last video posted 5 minutes ago, alarming as the mystery woman has obviously stolen his phone captioning the video she recorded as “Surprise Cutie” Her beautiful face glowing as she shows around the practice room. Jungkook and Jimin’s figures dancing in the background as the music comes to an end. The bombshell runs over to Jimin complimenting him on his dance moves.

Jimin’s smile brightens as he thanks her, her frame lifting as she presses her lips against Jimin’s. Exiting out of his story as my heart cracks in my chest. How could he do this? He doesn’t even care... he knows I'm on his snapchat......I can’t do this. My tears taking over my form as I curl into my bed losing myself in the heartbreak. Sobbing I go to view the story and it is gone. A message goes through my phone...

I'll sing along (Oh) 'Cause I don't know any other song (Oh oh) I'll sing along But I'm barely hanging on No, I'm barely hanging on By the time you're hearing this I'll already be gone And now there's nothing to do but tear my voice apart Nothing to do And scream at the drunken moon

Opening the door Jimin's crying figure standing there, his body shaking as the tears stream down his face. “Baby” He sighs rushing to wrap his arms around my frame. He drops to his knees at the lack of affection returned, his tears soaking into the fabric of my shirt. “Please, don’t leave me” He looks up at me begging. “Please, okay? I'll do anything.” I roll my eyes grabbing a cigarette out of my pack as the stress builds. Walking toward my couch displacing myself from the events about to happen. “Look at me, please just look at me” Jimin’s voice says shaky. “You said you want to explain. Explain and then leave please” I say looking him in the eye. “Her name is Hye-Jin she’s another trainee, Me and the boys are debuting soon. So, she is a background dancer for our first stage. She became friends with everyone pretty quickly, but me and her started talking about everything. Nothing flirty just stupid stuff. Then today happens and she kisses me out of nowhere and I freak out on her because I've told her about you about us. She knows how I feel about you; she posted the video to spite me so you’d leave. Please I don’t love her I don’t want her” He explains slowly. Reaching for my hands as the last of his words come out of his mouth “I can't lose you, okay? I can't lose us. You're everything to me please tell me I'm not going to”

“Jimin” I sigh “I think you should go; I understand but I really need time....” His head faces the ground as the sobs take over his body “please baby please I can't walk out that door don’t make me, not knowing you're not going to call me later to tell me goodnight. I can't leave knowing the second I walk out that door you're going to break down just like I am so please don’t make me.” His hands caress my face forcing me to look in his eyes. “Please, I love you and I can't leave knowing this isn't what we need, TIME isn't what we need. Please, don’t do this” He leans forward brushing his lips against mine softly. “Jimin, please go” I whisper, his frame retreating from me as he walks toward the door. He nods slowly “I'm not letting you go I don’t care okay? I'm going to give you time but please know I'm not giving up on you I'm going to wait for you I love you and I won't lose you, not like this” and he's gone....

our bulletproof love shot down with one Bullet.

#jimin angst #jimin smut #park jimin #BTS jimin #bts angst #bts smut #bts fluff #jimin fluff #jimin angst texts

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allylotti · 3 years

Text

SIPPING JUICE — CHAPTER ONE

warnings: this story includes mature content such as substances, sex, suicide, and more that might not be suitable for people of the ages 16 and under.

( chapter one, 2253 words ! )

I TURNED AROUND AND THERE HE WAS... the boy that was always there for me and me for him. I smiled at him, running into his arms. I held him tightly, like I would never see him again. I sighed, letting free from my grasp

"I missed you so much Jarad-" I started to tear up a bit.

It had been almost three months since I had seen him, because for the first summer ever my dad decided that it was a good idea that I went with him for the summer. My mother agreed with him saying that it was good for me to spend time with my father. I begged her to not make me go, but she denied my request, so instead of using three months of my time being with my friend, they went to waste on my excuse of a father.

"Hey, look at me y/n, it's okay, I'm here." He smiled softly cupping my cheeks. "now don't cry ma' let's get you home, we can make up for lost time later." I nodded softly at what he said. He took my hand into his as we walked down the streets of Chicago that we called home. We walked in a comfortable silence the whole way to his place.

He smiled at me, flashing a pair of bronze keys at me.

I laughed a bit, "Huh, so your mommy finally thought you were grown enough for your own pair?" I teased him, he just rolled his eyes in response.

"Actually y/n, I made the copy myself from the spare so, ha, no my mother didn't give them to me" he remarked.

"Aww he's such a grown up!" I pouted. "I want baby Jarad back, have you seen him? You know the one with the baby face, and short, non dyed dreads?" I crossed my arms in a joking manner.

"Y/n, you act like a child-" he said, opening the door.

"It's because I want yours!" He looked at me seriously, and I said "I'm joking!"

As I walked into the small apartment, I noticed that there was something different, I don't know if it was a vibe or something physical that had changed, it didn't feel right with me.

"Jarad, did you guys change anything in here since I left?" He shook his head as a response. I assumed they just had a friend over or something and shook off the feeling that I had gotten, somewhat like an evil presence had been here.

"You still playing GTA Jarad?" I asked sitting down on his couch. "Uh yeah... I had to choose who the fuck I wanted to kill, Franklin, Michael, or Trevor."

"Please tell me you picked Trevor-" I said whilst picking up a controller for the PlayStation.

"Funny thing is I did" he laughed.

"How'd you kill him?"

"Fire"

"Oof- that shit must have sucked to die in" I laughed.

"Yeah, right. Well I'll be back, I'm going to take a shower" after that he walked upstairs, leaving me alone downstairs.

( a few minutes later ! )

There was a loud knock on the door, just as I had gotten shot in the head,

"Son of a bitch!" I grunted.

I walked towards the door opening it, revealing a short girl with dark hair and pink highlights. I felt that same vibe as I did earlier but I ignored it. A little annoying by her presence I asked

"What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" She replied with my question.

"Um... I'm Jarad's best friend, y/n, who are you?" She looked at me in disgust as those five first words came out of my mouth.

"Oh, I'm Alexia, Alexia Smith, nice to meet you y/n" she smiled fakely, I feeling petty today returned it.

"Is there anything I can get you, Alexia?" I questioned.

"Uh yeah, is Jarad home?" She asked looking down at her shoes.

"Um, no I'm sorry he isn't here right now, I'll let him know that you wanted him, bye, bye" I said shutting the door on her face. I sighed, pressing my back against the door, allowing myself to fall to the ground.

"Who was that?" I heard a voice in front of me asked.

Annoyed that he didn't tell me he had a new girlfriend I said "who is Alexia Smith?"

"Oh, I see, you've met her, Alexia is a friend I met at the park."

"Just a friend?" I cocked an eyebrow.

"Promise Y/n, I'd never lie to you"

"Okay, but I want you to sing for me, and in exchange I'll make you and ma' dinner, deal?"

He scratched his neck and looked down as if he were putting much into my question.

"Okay, Deal" he smiled.

"Oh, and you'll have to sing for me" I giggled. He smiled and tackled me onto the couch, we burst out in laughter.

"Oh god I've missed this" I smiled sadly, he sighed "me too, damn, it's only been three months without each other and it feel like it was an eternity, if we ever get like- supper mad at eachother and shit, and we like won't say sorry because of our pride- I don't know how I would do it, y/n, being without you is- worse than I thought" he chuckled.

"We won't- friends forever, remember? Always and forever" I sat up and kissed him on the cheek.

"Now you have to sing for meee!" I yelled.

"Okay, well so- I haven't told you this but...I've been working on some songs-"

"-And you didn't call me- nuh uh baby, show me them songs" I interrupted him.

"...sorry?" He asked in a way. I gave him a straight face and shook my head.

"Here look, I typed up the lyrics in my phone, but I don't know what to call it! I wanna do Autograph but I also want to do On my line" he pouted handing me the phone.

"Let me see, do you have this recorded Jare?" I asked, reading the lyrics.

He nodded in response, "I love it, and you know what you can call it, Autograph (On my line) it fits," I smiled, "now, the best part... sing it for me, please!"

"Fine" he cleared his throat, getting ready to sing for me.

"I hope I'm the only girl you sing to" I joked.

"You know I wouldn't do that shit with any other girl" he laughed.

"Why you mad,Why you mad, Why you mad, Why you mad?

That's all I wanna know! You're lookin' like a joke, try humour at the most. Steady chokin' on your shade like a dick in your throat,

Well if you're gonna throw shade my way, Maybe you should throw with a little more aim. It's a cold day in hell, when they dirty up your name.

They don't got no business talkin' in the first place i'm freezin'.

All these fuck bitches on my line, Damn bitch you must wanna die tonight

Yeah I rock a choker with a .45 and I know some bitches that are down to ride.

All these hatin bitches on my line, Damn bitch you must wanna fuck tonight!

Let me guess, you're my biggest fan right?"

I was surprised at how much he had improved in the last three months, he was always good but now he would just be top on the charts if he put his music on YouTube and whatnot.

"You wanted an autograph all you had to do was ask, woah

But you lookin like an asshole, Up on twitter and you lookin mad woke, talkin bout me! But you lookin bad woah, Like the ugly daughter that I never had woah, and what's up with these lames, Got my name in they mouth like they swallowin my Children, I never got why bitches hate, its probably Cuz im doin better than em anyway, Its probably cuz i get they bitches wetter anyway, it's Probably cuz im livin and they're in a lower place, They walkin in the slums while im vibin outter space.

Crash land just to take they girl on a dinner. Date, when haters see me winnin they just hyperventilate. They always try to stop me but i never hesitate,

Just follow all your dreams and when you reach them, Celebrate, that's the only way to truly make a hater suffocate.

All these fuck bitches on my line, Damn bitch you must wanna die tonight

Yeah I rock a choker with a .45 and I know some bitches that are down to ride

All these hatin bitches on my line, Damn bitch you must wanna fuck tonight

Let me guess, you're my biggest fan right? You wanted an autograph all you had to do was ask woah

Why you mad that's all I wanna know, Your lookin like a joke try humor at the most

Steady chokin on your shade like a dick in your Throat, well if you're gonna throw shade my way.

Maybe you should throw with a little more aim, It's a cold day in hell when they dirty up your name. They don't got no business talkin in the first Place i'm freezin, but these haters not breathin.

Stevie wonder to these haters no seein, And I don't believe it they hate me hate me for no reason. All these fuck bitches on my line,

Damn bitch you must wanna die tonight

Yeah I rock a choker with a .45 and i know some bitches that are down to ride.

All these hatin bitches on my line, Damn bitch you must wanna fuck tonight

Let me guess, you're my biggest fan right? You wanted an autograph all you had to do was ask woah." He finished, I started clapping.

"You, Jarad Anthony Higgins, are talented. No cap" I hugged him.

"Thank you" he smiled into the hug. "Now what's for dinner" he smirked.

"rice and beans, I'm kidding! My mom has some pasta at her house last time I checked, do you have oil or butter?"

"Yess"

"Okay, and no cheese, see after three months I couldn't forget your hate for cheese" I smiled.

Me and Jarad lived right across the street from each other. I walked out the door crossing the street, and walked in my "home", my mom was never home, she was too busy whoring around her body, when many people had offered her jobs, easy ones too! Even if they paid good money she would say no. The only time I would see her is if she had a guy over! And they wouldn't even be dressed, I basically lived with Jarad ever since my mom was fired for sleeping with her manager at her last job. When she would ground me from going to Jarads I would sneak out late at night through my window, and crawl in his. That was when I was twelve. That's why Jarad's mom is more of a mom to me than my own, she's always cared for me.

I took a deep breath in, smelling the air around me, "home sweet home" I mumbled sarcastically. Per usual it smelled like alcohol, weed, and sex. I rolled my eyes, seeing that she hadn't changed her habits. Walking into the kitchen, I opened the cabinet, finding the pasta just where I left it, I smiled to myself grabbing it and walking out. Shutting the door behind me.

I walked into Jarad's home, placing the pasta on the counter. I started to hum a song.

As I washed my hands Jarad came back into the room, I smiled. "I brought pasta" I sang,

"And you're humming Tupac, again" he sang back. I laughed "I'm always humming older songs" he laughed walking into the kitchen, next to me. He washed his hands and took out his phone playing the song I was humming. I laughed "you really did that didn't you?" I rhetorically asked while 'Picture me rolling' played in the background. He took out the pot and I put in the water, letting the pasta boil on the stove.

"Full grown, finally a man. Just scheming' on ways to put some green inside the palms" we both sang along. He wrapped his arms around my waist moving to the rhythm of the beat. I kissed his cheek, and smiled, "pastas ready" and as if on cue Mrs.Higgins walked through the door- she looked stressed. I smiled softly at her as she looked relieved seeing that dinner was already made.

"Y/n" she sighed "you're back!" She smiled brightly.

"You really thought I was going to leave yall, never"

When we ate dinner we caught up for the most part. Nothing too exciting happened in the last three months, but for some reason I couldn't help but think of that girl that stopped by. Jarad in a way seemed different, like he was hurt. It might have just been me, I've felt weird since I had left for the summer, getting these random feelings in my gut.

For the first time in three I slept in peace, knowing I was home. I was finally okay again.

#juice wrld #xxxtentacion #x reader #jarad anthony higgins

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phobiadeficient · 4 years

Note

Hey! First of all tell ya that holyfcknshit your writing gives me life! Like, ugh, youre my fckn fave writer!!! Aaaand this is my first request!: Transboy!Scout x Sniper x Demo! Maybe a little hurt/comfort centered on Scout? I just rlly love this three guys together!! Anything with them makes me happy! And your writing with this ship? Ugh ill be in heaven!! You dont have to do it if u dont like or arent comfy with it, tho! Thanks for letting us read your wonderful works!!

can you imagine being scout tf2 in this situation? “yeah im getting a little dysphoria guess i’ll talk to my two hot boyfriends abt it” like can you Imagine

(warnings for discussion of dysphoria and non-graphic PIV sex, i understand that not all trans men are comfortable with that but when i headcanon scout as trans i also tend to headcanon him not being particularly prone to most kinds of body dysphoria and having a generally positive self-image overall. just wanted to be clear on that)

Overall, Scout felt pretty nice. With his two guys, fresh off of dinner and just a little bit buzzed, squished between the two of them all cozy and stuff, and Sniper was playing with his hair and Demo was telling some story about a dumb kid he knew in school and stuff was overall just real nice.

And of course his stupid brain had to come along and ruin it by making him think about sad shit.

They were in Demo’s room since he was the only one of them who was smart enough to get a big mattress. Scout had Sniper’s arm just sort of thrown over across him, he and Demo’s hands intertwined on Scout’s stomach, and he just kinda looked at them for a minute. He thought it was kinda neat just seeing all the little details there, how Demo kept his hands cleaner but his nails were longer, Sniper’s clipped way short but still just a bit dusty. Or maybe that was just his callouses and some weird tanning sort of thing going on, who could say? Demo’s hands always kind of ran warm, and Sniper’s always kind of ran chilly, and Scout would go way warm or cold depending on the day, super susceptible to temperature because he was such a skinny little fuck.

Maybe that’s what he was staring about. Looking at their arms, it was made all the more clear how much scrawnier Scout was. It wasn’t even like Sniper was a particularly buff guy, he could be described as “in-shape” at best, but he was still just... bigger than Scout.

And the other thing, he realized, was that man, Demo and Sniper were both pretty fuzzy dudes. Hair on their arms and legs and all across their chests, Demo with a pretty nice beard and Sniper with almost a beard on accident.

Wham, just like that, like a bat to the temple, self-consciousness, self-doubt. Because that was just one of those little tiny things that Scout would get super insecure about all the goddamn time. Just the little tiny differences. Like the slightly different jaw, the slightly longer eyelashes, the slightly different build. And Scout was lucky, he knew that, because he was tall, and he knew how to work out to build his muscles so he could pass pretty easily in that regard, and his chest wasn’t anything to brag about to start with let alone when he started binding.

But the lack of facial hair, and the hair everywhere else on his body being kind of pale and nothing, and his scrawnier arms, it just...

He exhaled slowly, letting his eyes fall closed. Okay, he needed to slow down and take a breath. Here he was, squished between his two favorite guys on the planet, and who just so happened to be willing to date him and sleep with him on a regular basis, and who were also really hot, and he was getting all up in his own head over nothing. It was dumb. He needed to quit it.

But his brain kept cycling him through it, again and again, and it was Sniper who eventually pulled him out of it.

At some point he’d started playing with the hair on Sniper’s arm, just sort of fiddling, pushing his fingertips across his forearm idly, and Sniper tilted his head to watch him do so. That made Scout suddenly aware that he was doing it, and he faltered for a second, but he continued anyways, even as it made his thoughts a little harder to ignore when doing it consciously.

“One day, love,” Sniper said quietly, and Scout looked up at him, a little wide-eyed with surprise. Sniper smiled a little. “You’ve been doing that for about twenty minutes and staring off into space like you’re waiting for your spouse to come back from the war, love, it was a pretty easy guess to make,” he elaborated.

Scout looked back down and away. Chewed on his lip and his words.

“Is it, like,” Scout started, and had to pause for a second to think of how to word it right. “Is it ever,

y’know, weird? How I’m all... smooth and stuff? And not fuzzy like you guys?”

“Not particularly,” Demo shrugged, the shift minute since Scout could feel it. “Not a big difference.”

“I’ve met plenty of blokes who shave or wax anyways to look nice for other blokes, you’re a good few steps more hairy than them,” Sniper added.

Scout nodded slowly. “...And the... you’ve already said all the other stuff isn’t weird,” he said carefully.

“Aye,” Demo agreed.

Scout was quiet again for a few seconds.

Sniper stopped playing with his hair and removed his hand entirely, and Scout went to complain about it, but was surprised into staying quiet by Sniper rolling to prop himself up over Scout, looking down at him. “Love, are we not telling you enough how handsome you are?” Sniper teased.

Scout flushed. “You tell me plenty,” he mumbled, glancing off.

Sniper took hold of his chin and tilted him back to face him, mouth very very close to his own. “Could tell you more.”

“Could show you more,” Demo agreed, finding a place to wrap his arm over around Scout, kissing at the space under his ear and making him shiver lightly.

“I—guys, it’s fine,” he protested, but it was weak and halfhearted, because Sniper promptly moved to the other side of his neck to nip and kiss, following Demo’s lead. “I-I-I don’t need the... the extra sort of, the...”

He kept trailing off as his breath caught, the two of them being extremely distracting when they wanted to be. He jumped lightly when Demo pinched him lightly on the side, and heard the rumbly little chuckle of amusement that the motion got him.

They finished off getting him properly distracted, Demo parting with one last hard kiss on the lips, and then they were both just grinning down at him, leaving him there probably looking like a complete mess, spots on his neck surely starting to redden.

“Handsome,” Sniper observed simply.

“Gorgeous,” Demo agreed, and gave him another peck for good measure.

Scout’s face was on fire.

“...Well what are you gonna do about it?” he finally prompted impatiently, shifting a little.

Chuckles from both of them, and then they were in motion, starting to strip.

Scout took off his own briefs and the tank he used to bind when they were off work, and mostly just set to distracting Demo as the other tried to get out of his own clothes, much simpler than his uniform but more challenging when Scout was hanging off of him and kissing him absolutely silly.

Sniper pulled Scout off of Demo and back into his lap to free up Demo’s attention for a moment, and Scout’s breath caught as he felt a bare chest against his back and bare thighs under his own. Sniper kneaded at his thigh idly and tucked his head in to nose just under Scout’s ear and speak. “How d’you feel like doing this, love?” he asked softly, sentence punctuated by a little kiss. “Feels like it’s gonna be your night tonight, that sound right, Tavish?”

A sound of agreement from Demo as he struggled free of his shirt. Scout chewed on his lip and thought a little, shifting his weight back against Sniper and enjoying the way Sniper steadied him with arms wrapped around his waist, the hardness beneath him, situated in such a way that he had to really roll his hips down hard to apply any kind of real pressure and make Sniper exhale softly against his neck.

“I dunno, you could fuck me, maybe,” Scout suggested idly, rolling down against him again for emphasis.

Sniper considered that. “We got any rubbers, Tavish?” he asked, and Demo paused where he was pulling free of the last of his clothing, thinking.

“...Should,” he confirmed, moving to the bedside table to check, and coming up with a few foil squares a second later triumphantly.

“Alright then,” Sniper nodded, kissed at Scout’s neck some more. “Who d’you want for what then, love?”

“You fuck me, just like this, I suck Demo off,” Scout decided, eyeing up the bomb-maker in question as he joined them on the bed again, now naked and smiling a bit as he passed over the condoms to Sniper.

“Sounds good to me,” Demo agreed, and pulled Scout in with a hand on the back of his neck to kiss him, other hand drifting over his thigh and guiding him up into a kneeling position to give Sniper room.

Then there was a pair of fingers drifting along the inside of Scout’s thigh, moving between his legs to tease him for a few long moments before Sniper was slicking them up and slipping them inside with relative ease. Scout moaned softly against Demo’s mouth, earning a chuckle.

“Lovely thing,” Demo teased, both hands stroking over his thighs as they started to tremble under the force of Sniper’s fingers moving into and against him in throbbing waves, a skill afforded by experience he’d only gained since he’d gotten with Scout, but fuck, he’d really learned a lot in a short period of time, knew exactly what Scout liked, knew his tells, knew when he could add another finger, knew when he could pull his fingers out altogether and guide Scout back down into his lap carefully, carefully, and Scout was grateful that Demo had the foresight to get lubed condoms because the slide was so nice as he sank down.

Demo pulled back to let Scout moan and curse and make all sorts of noise, visibly admiring the show as Scout rolled and shifted his hips to try and find a good angle, Sniper muffling soft noises into his shoulder. A long few moments were spent with Scout trying desperately to get used to the feeling, only to be thrown off his rhythm as he found a good angle, then again as Sniper rolled his hips gently and the pressure shifted, then again as Demo pulled him back into a kiss.

“Gorgeous,” Sniper murmured against the top of his vertebrae, kissing there lightly, breathless. “Gorgeous thing.”

“You’re—“ Scout started to say, but it was cut off by a shaky sigh as Demo nipped at his bottom lip playfully, Sniper mirroring the motion against his backbone.

In no time at all, he was shifting his legs slightly to get comfortable and starting to move, a gentle up-and-down, barely exerting himself with how extremely fit he was, himself doing most of the work with Sniper rolling along when he could.

And Scout was lost in sensation for a little while, and Demo had been making himself busy lying a series of hickies all up one side of his neck, so he was a little surprised and largely pleased when he blinked his eyes open and saw that Demo had a hand around himself as he took in the view the two of them made. And once he realized that, Scout didn’t waste time nudging his hand aside to try and take over, and then he was being treated to the always-lovely experience of being caught between the two of them, all giving and taking pleasure as well as they could with their brains getting increasingly scrambled.

And Scout could vaguely remember having said something about sucking off Demo, but every time he tried to pull his hand away so they could readjust, Demo mumbled some vague complaint and urged him back into place again. And somewhere along the way Demo slid a hand down his stomach to toy with him in much the same way he was being toyed with, and then all motion was kicking up a notch—

Sniper was done first, surprisingly, swearing through gritted teeth, pulling out midway through as he shuddered through aftershocks that seemed to drag on and on. Scout gasped, and found himself desperate and just a little bit demanding. But man, he really did get lucky enough to find two guys who were real hot and pretty smart, because when Sniper had finally settled down a little Demo had already rolled on a condom and was urging Scout into his lap instead, and he exhaled with relief as he sank down again, mouth locking together with Demo’s as soon as he could get the breath for it, Demo working a hand back down between them to then work at Scout as best he could as the other lifted and rolled Scout with very little effort involved.

And at that point they were both worked along to the point where it barely took any time at all before Scout was trying to muffle himself into Demo’s neck—yes he got loud in bed, no he couldn’t help it, even if he tended to be the one the team then took potshots at over breakfast for being a noise complaint. And Demo was there too, swearing in a choked voice and breathing hard.

Actually, they both were breathing pretty hard. And Scout felt ever-so-slightly steamrolled and extremely pleased with himself and the state of the world around them. And he found himself playing with the abundance of hair across Demo’s chest as he came back down, melting into a nice little puddle in his lap and humming, gone soft and relaxed.

“Handsome,” Demo quipped, kissing at the side of his head, and Scout couldn’t help but smile at the feeling of a beard rasping against his hair.

“Feeling better?” Sniper prompted, and Scout could only hum for a moment, still a little overwhelmed. That got a chuckle out of the both of them.

“Must’ve done something right, aye?” Demo asked, and Scout heard the two of them sharing a brief kiss over his shoulder, and that got him to grin all the more.

“You guys are the best,” Scout decided, mumbly but pleased.

A hum of agreement. “...Y’know that, er, thing you tend to do? Where I’ll be acting like an absolute bugger and mouthing off and you make me go eat lunch and then suddenly everything’s all better because I wasn’t in a bad mood, I was just hungry?” Sniper asked.

Scout hummed in agreement.

“Think this might be that for you,” Sniper concluded, smoothing hands down Scout’s sides, and Scout leaned into it. “A little attention and all’s right with the world, seems like.”

Demo cupped his chin and tilted his face up to kiss at his cheek, and Scout was sure he was grinning like a total dope, but he couldn’t help it. “More attention might be just what the doctor ordered,” he agreed. “That sound right to you, lad?”

Scout hummed in agreement, melting back forward into Demo’s chest again.

“Alright, lovely as you are you ought to get up so we can mop up, doll,” Demo urged, and helped shift Scout up and out of his lap gently. “Made a damn mess of you, would like to avoid ruining the sheets.”

“Shower?” Sniper asked, pulling Scout to his feet.

“Shower,” Scout agreed.

And maybe it was just that Scout had been a little pent-up and it was doing things to his head. Or maybe it was that the two of them were excellent at comforting him in any way he could when those doubts started to spring up. Either way, he found it really hard to be worried about something as simple as him being less hairy than your bog-standard guy off the street when he had Sniper playing and helping to wash his hair and Demo humming more gentle compliments into his ear and bickering quietly with Sniper over nothing important.

#//demosniperscout #//trans characters #//tenderness

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mattygraygubler · 4 years

Text

our campus: chapter 8 (tom holland fic)

summary: frat!tom and reader go to the same college and y/n is tasked with being his tutor, they don’t really get along at first (because i love reader and tom hating each other trope)

warnings: drinking, drinking, more drinking, mentions of sex

word count: 2.6

a/n: sort of a cliff hanger at the end???? we’ll see what happens!

as always texts are bolded

for a list of characters click here

to be added to the tag list send me an ask !

masterlist

✰✰✰✰✰

You slowly opened your eyes and were immediately confused. You were in your room, but you felt someone’s arms around you.

You drank almost an entire bottle of wine last night, so needless to say, you didn’t really remember anything. You didn’t think you slept with someone… But did you?

The body groaned, but you still couldn’t figure out who it was because the lights were off and blackout curtains closed. You pushed their shoulder a bit and heard a british voice say “Whaa?”

“Tom?” You asked incredulously.

“Good morning, darling,” he said. His voice was raspy and low, so incredibly sexy.

“What are you doing here? Why are you shirtless, where are my pants?! Did we- ohmigod tell me we didn’t…”

“You don’t remember?” He asked and you shook your head, still very aware that his arm was around you and your legs were intertwined. “Relax, we didn’t have sex, love. We just hung out and then watched a movie and fell asleep.”

“Then where’s your shirt?” He laughed.

“You’re wearing it. You were cold and wouldn’t let me leave the bed, so I gave it to you.” You bit your lip, very uncomfortable. It was one thing to sleep with someone and not remember it, but to spend the entire night cuddling? You weren’t a couple, who does that?!

“Oh. I’m sorry.” You said and sat up, untangling your body from his.

“What are you apologizing for?” He asked.

“I mean… I’m your tutor, we’re just becoming friends, it’s weird for us to-to sleep in the same bed together and-”

“Y/N, slow down. We’re friends. It’s really not a big deal, totally platonic. I mean, c’mon, you’ve never slept in the same bed as Kyle? Or Emily?”

“No, I have…” “Then what’s the big deal?” He asked.

“I guess there isn’t one…” You replied. Tom swung his leg over the side of the bed, stretching and getting his stuff together. You couldn’t help but watch his back muscles flex when he stretched. You wanted to run your fingernails along it.

“I gotta take care of some stuff, I’ll see you later today?” He asked. You nodded.

“Sure, I’ll see you later. Wait, Tom!” You said before he could walk out the door.

“Yes?” He turned back to look at you.

“You’re, uhm… You need your sweatshirt back.” You started to take it off.

“I’m only going down two floors. You look comfy anyway.” He said and smiled at you before walking out.

You lied back down in bed, picking up your phone and checking the alerts. You scrolled through all the drunk texts from last night, laughing at a lot of them.

♡girly girls♡

GUYS

whaaaaaat em

GUYS GUYS GUYS

em what happened

NOTHING HAPPENED

YET

CHECK THE WEATHER REPORT

You rolled your eyes and checked the weather report, unsure of what she was referring to. It was the first weekend in February, so you weren’t expecting your weather app to show you a 100% chance of snow starting in a few hours and lasting until Monday night.

THATS RIGHT LADIES

SNOOOOOOWWWW DAAAAYYYYYY

Y/N we’ll be over at 9 to play games, iz you and i are goin to grab the booze, em youre in charge of food

You

what am i in charge of?

dont you have homework? plus were using your room, we can take care of all the stuff

are we inviting anyone else?

thank you for asking i would love to invite harrison

im fine with that if i can invite cal

Cal was the nerdy boy from delt who Isabelle was seeing. It was really low key, they’d only gone on a few dates, and things hadn’t gotten physical yet.

Y/N! invite tom and we’ll make it a total delt nite !!!

You

yeah ok ill invite him. were gonna be studying anyway.

wow i expected more push back

You

were friends now, it wont be weird. its not like its a quintouple date

it is if one of those delt boys has a gay sister

not interested. besides i doubt more than 7 people can fit comfortably in Y/N’s room

You

fine ill see you guys tonight.

You hopped in the shower, putting on a pair of leggings and a cropped sweatshirt. You decided to text Tom.

You

hey so it looks like its gonna snow i was wondering if we could work at my place instead?

also ive been told to invite you to our game night tonight

Tom

interesting, because i was already invited

what took you so long Y/L/N?

You

sorry i was in the shower

Tom

likely story

but yeah that sounds great ill see you in a few hours

A few hours. That’s plenty of time for you to put your glasses on, earbuds in, and really focus on your homework.

* * *

You were pulled from your law reading by a knock at the door. You opened it, seeing Tom in a soccer tee shirt and gray sweatpants. His hair was wet and he ran his fingers through it.

You hoped he didn’t see the fact that you bit your lip, but you couldn’t help yourself. He just looked so incredibly sexy.

“You look... “ His eyes scanned your body and you immediately wrapped your arms around you, insecure.

“What?”

“No, you just never wear stuff like this in front of me. You’re always so put together.”

“Your point?”

“You look cute, that’s all.” Tom said and walked into the room. He thought you were cute? No, you needed to calm down, he’s the biggest player ever, he didn’t mean anything. Just some accidental flirting.

“I brought tequila, Harrison said it’s your favorite.” He said and dropped his backpack on the floor and put the tequila on the table where you kept your booze.

“That’s sweet of you, thank you, it is my favorite.” “Really? I thought he was joking.” “No, why?”

“You’re just… you’re really something else, Y/N.” He said with a laugh.

You grabbed your notebooks and started the session, you checking his homework, him redoing the mistakes, and you answering any questions he had about the material.

“You’ve definitely made an improvement,” you said as you finished reading his essay on the power shifts in England from the 1600s to today.

“Thank you? I think?”

“You’re welcome. You’re almost there, but you’re still not incorporating this source correctly.”

“That’s because that source makes no sense. The writing is so convoluted, it’s mental!”

“Then why don’t you find a new source?” You asked.

“Well… I thought I’d be easier if I just stuck with this one.” Normally you would have rolled your eyes at that, but instead you found yourself laughing.

“Read it again,” You said and handed him the library book he was using as his last source, “And if you still can’t understand it, I can explain it or we can just find a new source.”

You grabbed your own book, Rage Becomes Her, which you were reading for your Women, Politics, and Public Policy class, and started highlighting right where you left off.

You both got lost in your books, highlighting and annotating in silence. Every once in a while Tom would stop to ask you about a particular passage.

It was another hour or so before you both heard a knock on your door. You got up to open it, and as soon as you did Emily burst into the room, Harrison right behind her holding three pizzas.

“TOM!” Emily said and tackled him in a hug. “It’s so good to see you again!” “I didn’t realize you two had met,” you said and helped Harrison with the pizzas.

“Just once,” Tom said with a laugh. He made himself comfortable on your bed instead of the floor, Harrison took a seat on your comfy chair and Emily made herself comfortable on his lap.

“I better leave this unlocked,” you said. “I would offer you guys a drink, but Isabelle and Ally are-”

“Did someone say something about a drink?” Isabelle said, pushing the door opened.

“What’s up bitches,” Ally said and put a bottle of wine, svedka, prosecco, and a 30 on the booze table.

“How long do you guys anticipate this storm lasting, because that is a LOT of booze for 7 people,” you commented.

“Lighten up, babe, it’s not like we have to drink it all tonight.” Isabelle responded.

“Better to be safe than sorry.” Ally said with a mischievous grin. They greeted the others in the room when you heard a knock on your door.

“I heard there was a party happening here?” Cal said as he pushed open the door. You closed it all the way behind him so no one else could stumble in.

After everyone introduced themselves to each other, Harrison said “So what does everyone want to play first?”

“Oh, you’re new.” Ally said. “See, we kinda of have an agenda.” “Is that so?” Harrison asked. Emily kissed his cheek. “Tell me more.”

“Well the first time we had a snow day, we took turns picking our favorite games, and then we just stuck with that formula. First is A which means kings,” Isabelle said. “Then Emily, which means never have I ever. Then me, which means truth or dare. And then Y/N.”

“And what does Y/N pick?” Tom asked.

“Y/N picks poker, of course. But most of the time were too drunk to get there.” Ally said.

“Yeah I really got the short end of the stick there. It’s a good formula, though.” You replied and grabbed a deck of cards and a beer.

“Let’s go, boys and girls.” You said. Everyone sat in a circle, the beer in the middle like you were worshipping it, and you spread out the cards in a circle around it. You saw Tom and Harrison exchange a look across the circle.

“Something wrong?” You asked.

“Well… Don’t judge us, but we’ve never played this game before. They don’t have it in England.” Everyone else laughed quietly at Harrison’s statement.

“It’s easy. Everyone picks a card, and each card has an action assigned to it. Ace is waterfall,” You said.

“Two is you, so you pick someone to drink.” Isabelle said.

“Three is me, so you drink.” Cal said as you went around the circle explaining the rules.

“Four is floor, so the last person to slap the floor loses.” Emily said.

“Five is guys,” Ally said.

“Six is chicks,” You said and the circle started again.

“Seven is heaven, so last person to touch the ceiling drinks.”

“Eight is date, so you pick someone and whenever one of you drinks the other has to too, for the rest of the game.”

“Nine is rhyme, so you go around the circle saying words that rhyme and the person who can’t continue the rhymes drinks.”

“Ten is categories, so it’s the same as nine but with a category of something, like animals.”

“Jack is never have I ever.”

“Queen is questions, so the next person who answers a question they ask drinks.”

“And finally, king is the ruler, so you make a rule that everyone has to follow until the next king is pulled.”

“Make sense?” You asked.

“Not one bit.” Tom responded.

“You’ll get the hang of it, I promise it gets easier.” You said. “Al goes first.”

“Why?” Harrison asked.

“Gay goes first.” The four of you said in unison. The boys looked scared. They had no idea what they had gotten themselves into.

“One last rule. First drink is a shot of your chosen poison. After that, you can drink whatever you want.” You explained as Isabelle gave each person a shot glass and the handles of hard liquor were passed around.

“Four,” Ally said and everyone slapped the floor except Tom and Harrison. Harrison realized first, so you watched as Tom downed the shot across the circle. He tensed his jaw after, which made you wet already. When he saw you looking at him, he winked at you.

Your turn was next, so you quickly pulled a card, a six, so you and the other girls did your shots and then began to pour yourselves your chosen drinks. For you, that was a second shot of tequila and then a rum and orange soda.

“Two.” Isabelle said with a grin. “I choose our kings sponsor, miss Alexandria Park.” Everyone whooped as Ally dramatically took a sip of her beer.

“Five,” Cal said. The boys took their shots, except Tom who took a sip of his beer.

“My turn then?” Tom said and drew a card. “Eight. Which one is that?”

“Date. You pick someone and for the rest of the game whenever one of you drinks, the other has to too.” Cal explained. Tom looked around the circle, but you already suspected who he was going to pick.

“Y/N,” he said. “Would you care to be my date?”

“You’re exhausting, Holland. What, are you trying to get me drunk or something?” That shut him up, right as Harrison said ‘seven’ and everyone reached for the ceiling except Tom, who groaned and complained about having to drink again.

Cal was the one who finally popped the beer and had to chug it. You put the cards to the side and everyone held up ten fingers, already ready for never have I ever.

Things started off innocent enough, with Emily sharing that she had never peed in a pool. By the time you all went once and it was Harrison’s turn, he made things more interesting.

“Never have I ever slept with more than 15 different people.” You and Tom were the only ones who clapped.

Harrison rolled his eyes. “Jesus fucking christ, it’s like you guys were made for each other.” He commented. Your face got red, which Emily noticed, so she went quickly next.

You finally lost, getting rid of your ten fingers before anyone else. You were always a bag of secrets, and Tom found himself learning more and more things about you he didn’t know. Like that you had a tattoo, or that you’ve gone skinny dipping, or that you’ve never had a gin and tonic.

You were all wasted, that was clear. Isabelle was in between Cal’s legs on the floor, leaning her back against his chest. Ally was lying on the couch all by herself, upside down. Harrison was in your big chair with Emily on his lap, and you and Tom were on your bed, you lying on your stomach and him sitting against the headboard.

“Isabelle, truth or dare?” Cal asked.

“Dare,” she said, looking back at him.

“I dare you to ditch your friends and come back to my room with me.” He said.

Isabelle shared a look with all of you before saying “Sorry guys, I’m not one to turn down a dare.” They grabbed the half-drunk bottle of prosecco on their way out.

“Al, truth or dare?” Emily asked. This went on until Ally passed out from drinking, still upside down.

“We’ll get her home.” Harrison said. He picked Ally up as Emily collected their stuff and bid you and Tom good night. You both sat in silence for a few minutes, when Tom’s phone lit up.

“Do you mind if I chill here for a while? I’ll stay on the couch if you want to go to sleep, but Harrison just said him and Emily want some alone time and her roommate is home.”

“Of course, I don’t mind.” You responded. You stumbled off the bed, going to pour yourself another drink.

“Ok, Y/N.” Tom said, moving so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. “Truth or dare?” You turned to look at him and saw a dark look in his brown eyes.

“Dare.”

“I dare you to kiss me.”

#tom holland imagine #tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #frat!tom

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longeyelashedtragedy · 4 years

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Writer ask meme

I was tagged by the flamazing @feedingmyinsomnia <333 and i will tag...if you want!... @perfectpiety @amethyst-fox-jv @ayerlind @sitkowski and anyone else who writes who sees this! but you don’t have to, just feel honored that i tagged you ;)

ao3 name: catmanu!

fandoms: currently writing in the football (as in soccer) rpf fandom, but always have other things on my mind as well.

number of fics: i’ve written SO many in my lifetime and most have never been published anywhere.

fic i spent the most time on: technically “exit right” because it took me like...a year and a half to write it? in terms of like...period of time spent actively writing it’s definitely “trophy boyfriend.”

fic i spent the least amount of time on: either “fly faster!” which i wrote in like, an hour or “jet ski još čeka” which i wrote over the course of a day.

shortest fic: my shortest standalone fic on ao3 is “the world drowned” at 370 words--my ancient shireen baratheon/rickon stark futurefic

most hits / most kudos / most comment threads / most bookmarks / highest total word count: ok im leaving out the drabble collections. omg without even looking i know this is all gonna be fuckin... “captivated” because i’m The arya/jaqen person on ao3 even now. let’s see. most hits: “captivated,” most kudos: “captivated,” most comment threads: “trophy boyfriend,” most bookmarks: “captivated,” highest total word count: “trophy boyfriend.” sigh

favorite fic i wrote: omg i think i made a post like this recently? most recently my favorite fics are “trophy boyfriend,” “5.VII.,” “ça c’est ma dope,” “what we do in the élysée,” “victory rain,” “the heat of it all,” “soy loca con mi tigre,” “chief of the armed forces.” in the past i love all my arya/jaqen stuff so much. i really do love most of what i’ve written that i posted, but these stand out to me. oh, and how could i forget-- “modernity towering in front of the sky.” still slaps tbqh

fic i want to rewrite/expand on: everything i’ve written is its own thing. i don’t usually write things that require a sequel or anything, so there isn’t really anything i can think of?

share a bit of a wip or story idea you’re working on:, ok, so, ahhhh. i post a lot from my current big ass wip “mare liberum,” but another thing i’m agonizing over is my šluka (šime & luka) longfic “we light up the world.” i thought it was going to be a fun little jaunt but it’s killing me because there’s not much of a precedent for it and i honestly have no idea how to write the pov. F in the chat for my pov. but sigh, i’ll stick a bit of it below; read at your own risk...

Tonight there really is a reason for him to be available and he’s had enough rakija on an empty enough stomach (what was the last thing he ate? How come he can’t remember?) to feel like putting his hand on Luka Modrić’s strong heroic leg and leaning into his face till their noses touched just like on Zadar beach and saying…well, he’s not sure what he’d say. But he has to pretend he’s sober because Luka is pretty sober and his whole family is here anyway.

Fuck it! They should have just done the grapes thing!

Šime pulls out his phone and makes Deki a Happy New Year! video instead. It feels really good to talk to Dejan, even if he can’t talk back.

He gets an idea in the middle of this. “Hey, look,” he says to his phone. “Look who’s here with me. Wait for it…wait for it…HEY…CAPTAIN!”

At least Luka looks happy to see him, and that makes him feel warm all over, warmer than you get from drinking alone. He turns away from Vanja. “What’s up?”

“Wanna say hi to Dejan with me? Say hi, Captain Luka.”

Luka smirks. “Are you two live? I don’t want to be in any of your lives.”

Šime clutches his heart. “Did you hear that, Deki? Our captain doesn’t like our lajjjjjjvs. Think we should—mutiny.”

Suddenly Luka’s bony chin lands on Šime’s shoulder. “Happy New Year!” he yells in Šime’s ear. Šime doesn’t really mind. “Are you back in Croatia? How many times have you bullied Davor this—oh, you’re not live.” He ruffles Šime’s curls. Dejan’s not going to be too thrilled about that, but considering he and Šime are both, well, married—and not to each other—Šime figures he can’t reasonably complain about someone else touching his ljubavi’s hair. And he’ll tell Deki that if he does. “You should have told me. I feel stupid.” He winks.

“Well...you said you didn’t want to be in any of our lajjjjjjvs,” Šime sings. “So, now you’re not. See?” He sticks his tongue out at his video for Deki. “C’mon, brate, I’ll show you who else is here.” He moves away from Luka quickly. Just in case.

He isn’t sure how much time has passed, but he’s definitely helped himself to another drink or two or more than two, and suddenly Luka has appeared next to him. His hair looks so soft and fluffy and beautiful and Šime just wants--really, really wants to take Luka in his arms and put his nose in his hair and just hold him for a long time. Rest his head on top of Luka’s head, maybe. Whisper we’re so lucky to have you. Please don’t ever retire, play until your bones turn to dust. Please don’t leave.

“Hey, do you want a ride home?” Luka asks. All of a sudden he puts his arm around Šime and Šime pinches his leg pretty hard to make sure this is real. Luka’s arms are—tricky. When you first see them, you don’t realize how strong they are. But when you feel them, you know. And when one of them is wrapping around your shoulders like a big, heavy snake, you really know. “I don’t know how you got here, but you shouldn’t get home that way.”

Šime snorts. “Thanks, Mom. Since when do you care…I’ve seen you way more drunk than I am right now.”

Luka is playing with the ends of his hair. Why is Luka playing with the ends of his hair? He pinches his leg again and it stings a little, but, is he dreaming that he’s pinching himself? Did someone put something in the rakija? He stares around the room wildly for a second, wondering who in there’s trying to get him in bed. “Yeah, but I had people to take care of me, then,” Luka says. “Even if people was just you and Domo holding my legs.”

“Mmmmm,” Šime agrees, remembering much more about those days than just that.

“But especially you. You always look out for me when I get like…” Luka gives him a wet kiss on the forehead and lets go of his shoulders. “So let us drive you back.”

“Uhhhh.” Šime stares at Luka till his eyes cross. Wow, he’s definitely more drunk than he thought he was. “Okay,” he says.

Sofia is asleep by the time they leave. Vanja carries her to the car. Their older two’s eyes are closing as they walk, so Luka holds their hands. Šime walks a few steps behind them, feeling kind of like the family dog. It’s not too late to call an Uber, right?. He really should just call an Uber. He will, actually. He pulls out his phone only to realize that making Dejan a video had used up all the battery.

“Go on, sit in the front. Come on.” Šime blinks. Vanja is smiling at him.

“No, that’s...You should sit next to Luka. I’m totally cool with sitting with the kids! They’re all so awesome.”

“They’re all so asleep,” Vanja says. Šime peeks into the car. In the back, Ivano and Ema have already passed out. “Take the front. You’re our guest.”

Šime flops into the passenger seat. He doesn’t want to be rude to Vanja, or make anything even more awkward. But it’s just that up here Luka’s cologne smells so strong and it would be so easy to reach over and just touch him while telling him he still thinks about being a Zadar kid with him just about every week. And he’s so bad at resisting temptation when he’s drunk. Mmmmm, my sinner, Dejan would say sometimes. My beautiful sinful sinner, God, my beautiful perfect—

“Hey, got a playlist?” he asks quickly. If he gets hard thinking about Deki this won’t get any less weird. “How about some Marice, mariceeeeee--”

“I wish,” Luka says. “But the kids…” Šime watches how the streetlights light up all the interesting angles of his face. “Once they’re asleep, you’ll do anything to make sure they stay asleep. You know how that goes.”

Šime swallows around the guilty lump that’s suddenly appeared in his throat and he nods. He keeps his eyes fixed on Luka’s face. Each time a car’s headlights flash across it, it changes. Sometimes he looks much younger than he is. And sometimes he looks…older than 34. Like an eternal captain, like he’ll somehow be Šime’s leader forever even after he retires.

“Luka, stop talking to him,” Vanja says from behind him. “He looks about as exhausted as the kids.”

“What? That’s like asking me to stop playing football,” Luka says. “I could never stop talking to Šime.” And keeping his eyes on the road, he takes one hand off the wheel to rest it on Šime’s leg. “We go way back. Zadar kids and all.”

Suddenly words are hard. “We, uhhh—yeah. It’s not like I knew you back in the day. We don’t go back that f--that--we…”

“What did I say?” Vanja said. “Your best right-back’s falling asleep.”

“No, ‘m…’m not, I…” And Luka is gently squeezing his knee, and--

“Maybe help him get inside,” Vanja is saying. Šime blinks. Somehow they’re back at his place and he has no idea how it happened.

“Hey, did I snore? Did I talk in my sleep or something?”

“Nope,” Vanja says. “I hate to say it, Šime, but you’re pretty boring when you sleep.”

“Oh?” He yawns. What is he, an old man all of a sudden? A few drinks and this is what happens to him? “Dejan says I’m cudd--”

“Okayyyy, out,” Luka says. He’s totally covering up a laugh. Shit! “That’s a good idea, Vanja. I’ll get him inside. Can’t lose a defender, right?”

Šime says goodnight to Vanja, who now definitely knows he and Deki are fucking, but she’s a pretty chill person, so it really could be worse. His legs wobble underneath him, and he bumps into the warm hood of the car.

#about me #fic saga #we light up the world

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fmddevin · 4 years

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take care of me: daein’s story of fear.

scenario: so this is about the very first time daein tripped on acid & also his first bad trip. so....you could say he was pretty scared. big reason he doesn’t do lsd much. word count: 2,200 😳 notes: please know this isn’t saying if you get high you’re the same as very stupid kim daein. this is just his experience where tbh, a lot contributed to his bad trip. just please be safe & smart ok!!!!!!! and also, he’s dumb, especially in this phase of his life, and says/does some dumb things!! they don’t reflect my views. in fact...i cringed writing 98% of this. but also! if things like drugs & overdose and anything else in the tags make you uncomfy, please don’t read this...it might bother you! there’s also quite a bit of cursing. and i hate this & it’s not good AT ALL but i’m running out of time so i have to post it. anyways that’s all, ily all <3)

everything started off fine.

everything started off perfectly fine, and that was the scariest part.

there he was, in the center of the room, staring down a girl with her friends on the other side of the room. he was still too sober, too bored, and was wondering where a few drinks could land him by the end of the night. truth be told, the usual routines were getting to be repetitive - get drunk, find a girl, land in bed by 3am, kick her out before his parents woke him up in the morning. but that was becoming a little too predictable, and tonight daein was craving a change of pace. he’d even gotten their early, thinking that getting there at the start of the party would hype him up. he only intense disappointment of a near empty room, not yet at it’s peak.

“you don’t look like you’re having much fun.”

huh? he can’t tell if he said it out loud over the blaring music, but from his furrowed eyebrows he’ sure the girl in front of him can sense his confusion. he scans her over, but nothing’s coming to him. no name, no potential friends - hell, did she even live here? because he swears he’s never seen her before, and if he did he would’ve tried talking to her a long time ago. “i mean - i guess. i might dip - party’s kinda dead, you know?”

she takes a step closer, and her unexpected proximity almost causes him to step back. “or maybe you’re just dead. what’s your name? i might be able to help you out,” she offers, gesturing across the room. shit. she wanted him that quick? that was a record, and he’s already getting himself ready to go before she turns around to him.

“i have a friend here, he’s probably got something that’ll make you have some fun. i’ll tell him to hook you up.” for a second, he has no idea what she’s saying, and the only thing that’s really processing is that he won’t be getting laid tonight. deflating in every sense, and mouth agape in embarrassment as she talks, he can only mumble a small thanks as he follows instructions. really, he had no reason to comply, but trusting a random stranger seemed like the most exciting opportunity that would come to him for a while. only after she continues he gets it, and as he’s following her across the cup littered room he sees him. he would’ve just dismissed the guy in the corner of the room as a wallflower if he didn’t know any better, and although he’s getting the gut feeling that he shouldn’t be doing this he walks up to the expectant male.

“first time?”

“uh...no, dude. i’ve smoked plenty of times.” for a guy who pretends to be such a badass, he obviously’s the lamest of the bunch, because the other two begin cackling at his response. was that the wrong thing to say? so he laughs, along with them, pretending he’s in on a joke - even though it might be him.

“you’re funny. but for real, you’ve tried acid before, right? i don’t want to give it to you if you can’t handle it, man.”

shit. acid? shit. this was really….really getting real. here he was, thinking he was getting a discount on some weed, when peeking out between the other’s hands is something much smaller than what he was expecting. he’s puzzled, but tries his best not to show it and shake the feeling off. “nah, im good. just a little nervous, that’s all. i haven’t….done this in a while, so….yeah.” by now he knows he sounds stupid, but this wasn’t what he signed up for when he agreed to come to this party. but what was he supposed to do? he had asked for fun and here came his saving grace - who was he not to accept an offer given to him so conveniently? fear is only reluctance about the unknown, he reminds himself. he’s not really scared to try it, he’s just scared because he doesn’t know what to expect.

daein’s a sixteen year old phony, a kid from florida who smoked his first joint and thought he was the big man on campus. hell, he barely got away with sneaking that past his parents. how was he going to manage this? alcohol was predictable. he knew his body, and knew he could recover by the time he was supposed to be back from a “sleepover” with his friend. he’s never done anything above those things, and quite honestly is scared to try. but it wouldn’t hurt, just this once. he’s not going to let some nerves ruin his fun, right?”

“so…? you joining, or what, man?” daein’s lost in thoughts until he becomes aware of the awkward stare off, coughing uncomfortably. “oh - right, right. how much?” he asks, bringing his hand toward his wallet before the other brings it back down. he’s told not to worry about it, that it’s on the house - as long as he comes to him next time he wants to buy. just like that, it’s in his hand - what was it, exactly? a little square, almost like a piece of paper. it took multiple shots to knock him out cold. it was hard to imagine this would do anything.

looking around the circle they’ve formed, he’s watching to see who’s going to go first. not so much because of his nerves, but more because he doesn’t really know shit about what he’s doing. other kids might have learned from the movies or watched their friends, but these saturday night sneak-outs were the only times daein really got a glimpse of the real world. if he wasn’t here, he was at home studying, sleeping, or eating. but always, always under the watch of his parents. they were like hawks, which may have explained his desire to act out just this once where he wasn’t under their control.

everyone brings the thin slip to their lips - daein follows suit. everyone puts it under their tongue - he follows again. it’s like a game of simon says, except daein doesn’t really know what voice in his head is telling him to do all this. do i swallow it? do i chew? but no one else seems to do much else, so he lets it do it’s job.

now, the party’s starting, he thinks. except….it’s not. an hour passes. hell, wasn’t this stuff supposed to mess you up? he can barely feel a difference and it feels like he’s been waiting for hours. “i don’t feel shit,” he rather obnoxiously complains, only feeling the same boring buzz of alcohol. he wants more than this.

“dude, is this all you’ve got? you’re fucking weak. come on, i told you i’m not a lighthead. do you have anything else?”

“trust me, just chill out for a bit. it’ll kick in - i swear, you don’t need anything else.”

daein’s eyes plead for a reconsideration, but by the look on this guy’s face he’s not going to risk it. fine, he thinks. he doesn’t want to help him out? daein’s gonna speed up the process.

“pussies.” another shot.

but now….now he’s feeling something. the teen swears its because that one last shot gave him that extra push he needs, but after a while he’s not convinced that’s it. because it’s like a feeling in his chest, a feeling that’s getting bigger and bigger until it’s almost boiling over. he feels like he has bubbles in his stomach.

skip forward thirty minutes later, and it’s really kicking in. holy shit. he can feel every one of his toes, he swears, and when he tells his friends they tell him he’s gone crazy. it feels like the lights are getting hotter and hotter, and he wonders if it’s because he’s been dancing or it’s just his imagination. and honestly? he feels good. it’s like he’s really in one of those coming of age movies, everything seems so fun and everything is so funny. it’s like he’s dancing on the clouds, and daein gives himself a pat on the back for ever thinking this was a good idea.

it was different, but definitely manageable. this is nice, this is fine, he thinks. but the problem is, it’s like he’s going up an elevator he can stop.he wants everything to….stop here, but it’s not. fuck - how’s he going to get home.

now he’s got a new goal - have someone take him home, and take him home now. the feeling in his chest hasn’t subsided, and something’s telling him he hasn’t reached his peak high yet. what the hell was he going to do if he saw his parents like that? it was one thing climbing a fence drunk, but this….this was definitely different. he doesn’t have a clue how he’ll be able to sneak into his house like this - hell, he can hardly make it across the room. everything feels like it’s moving in slow motion around him, like he’s the only one who knows what’s going on. louder than the music, the voices, everything, he can hear his heart. it gets louder, louder, louder - shit, was it gonna beat out his chest?

“shit, is it gonna be out my chest?”

“what, is what gonna be out your che - man, what’d you take? you look awful.”

he knows that, but what can he do about that right now? he’s hot, at least, it feels like he is, but everything about him seems heavy and he’s not even sure he can wipe the sweat from his forehead. it seems like he has a piece of crinkled plastic over his eyes, like something’s stopping him from seeing clearly. he can’t see. it seems like every time he panics, he feels worse, and although he tries to calm down he’s not doing too good.

“home - i’ve gotta head home - now.”

“no can do. ask….tyler or something, i don’t know. i’m headed out with marina.”

“but-” he’s never heard himself this desperate. “-please.”

“sorry, devin. duty calls.”

duty calls. that’s his thing. and now that he’s the one asking for the ride, he realizes how shit the phrase really sounds. he’s the king of egocentrism, because all he can think is aren’t i more important? but he’s getting too unbothered to care, and through hooded eyes watches the other leave through the back door.

he makes the mistake of slumping down into the chair, and with how heavy his body seems it feels like he’s sinking into the carpet. he has to remind himself that he’s okay, that everything’s just an illusion, but it’s hard to remember when he feels like he’s falling further and further into the ground.

he’s sitting down, and still, it’s all just too much. he wants to throw up. there’s nowhere to go - his friends are assholes, and his parents will beat his ass. so he figures he’s a badass and can wait it out, and tries to close his eyes. but that doesn’t block out everything. he still hears the loud noises, feels the bodies brushing past him, feels like someone’s moving his chair around and around again. and for the first time that night, he realizes how alone he can feel around so many people. because he has no one. his heart’s getting louder, still. he’s slumped over a chair in the middle of a party and he thinks he’s gonna die. all he can think is -

“how the hell did i get here?”

hot. cold. hot. cold. from breaking out into sweating fits to random spurts of chills, everything’s out of wack. and the funny part? he’s not even blaming it on the acid, he just wishes he knew where the thermostat is. but he can’t even find out, because the soles of his feet feel as if they’d got shackled down. he can’t go anywhere, and this is not ok.

he knows he needs to calm down, but the more he worries the faster the room seems to spin. the louder it seems to get, and the more daein wishes that it would all just stop. when he tries to get up again, only this time, he really feels like he’s headed for the floor.

until there’s nothing, nothing but darkness.

#( & development. )#fmdtask008 #pls don't read this actually #like if u rlly want to just wait until tomm #when it's edited please i'm begging #drugs tw #alcohol tw #smoking tw #death mention tw #uhh #vomit tw #v brief #i think that's it! sorry i pressed post b4 i tagged the triggers!!#phew

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junionigiri · 5 years

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Peony Pink and Cherry Blossom Tea Ch 9: Still A Crybaby

Summary: Do they talk this time??? Eh.

Relationship(s): Todoroki Shouto/Uraraka Ochako; the Todoroki siblings

Rating: T (canon-typical violence)

Warnings/Notes: Hi to the 5 people still reading this! :)

Shouto remembers the night that Touya-nii ran away.

He doesn’t see his big brother a lot, so he doesn’t remember a lot about him. Shouto knows that he’s tall, and has red hair and blue eyes like the left part of himself. When they posed for a picture with Mom that one time, Shouto remembers his skin feeling cold, like his own right side.

He also knows that like him, Touya is always wrapped in bandages. But he’s always smiling when he plays with Fuyumi and Natsuo, like they don’t hurt. It makes him look cool, and Shouto wants to look cool like that one day.

It’s late, maybe past midnight when Shouto wakes up from another bad dream and feels very thirsty. Not wanting to wake anyone up, he decides to go down to the kitchen himself.

At first he’s scared because it’s dark and he might fall. But to his surprise there are lights near the front door. And voices.

“... are you sure about this, Touya?” That’s Fuyumi-nee, and her voice sounds weird. It sounds weak and froggy, like it does sometimes when she sees Shouto after a hard day of training with Dad.

“Yeah…” Touya-nii. He isn’t whispering, but his voice is really soft. “I can’t do what he wants anymore. I’d rather die.”

“Yeah, but… running away… where will you go? What if you get hurt? I mean, maybe we can try talking to Dad about you and...”

“Fuyumi-nee, there’s no other way if it’s Dad. You know that.” Natsu-nii is also there. Shouto peeks from the hallway and sees his silver hair and Touya’s Samurai Blue duffel bag in his hands. “But nii-san… you’ll try to keep in touch with us, right?”

“I’ll think about it.”

Touya is silent for some time as he ties his shoes. It’s weird that he’s putting on his shoes even though it’s dark outside. Shouto kind of wants to ask why, but he doesn’t know if it’s okay to talk with him. Or any of them.

(Dad was extra mad today, so maybe he shouldn’t.)

But before he can turn around and leave, he sees Touya stop and slowly turn to him. Bright blue eyes land on his, wide like he’s scared at first, before they change into something else. “Shouto.”

Fuyumi and Natsuo look at him too. They don’t move for a while, and Shouto is suddenly too afraid to move too.

Touya breaks the silence among them. He smiles and puts his arms out to Shouto. “Don’t just stand there, Shou. Wanna come here?”

He nods and quietly pads over the tatami and then next to his older brother. He doesn’t understand why he hugs him, but he does, and Touya does the same thing. When Shouto feels his arms with their messy bandages around them, he wonders why they feel like coals instead of ice.

“Where are you going, Touya-nii?”

Touya smirks. “Dunno. An adventure. An awesome one.”

“That sounds fun,” Shouto says in awe. Touya is so cool. He’s big and strong and he can do whatever he likes without feeling scared. “I wanna go too.”

Fuyumi bites her lower lip and shakes her head. “No… Shoucchan, come here, okay? It’s way past your bedtime, and… and Dad will be mad if he sees that you’re not sleeping.”

Natsuo starts to look weird too. “I dunno nee-san… Maybe Shou could go with him? Maybe--”

“No!” She whispers so that no-one will hear, but she sounds angry. She pulls Shouto from Touya’s arms and holds him close. “You can’t take him too… he’s too little, it’ll be too scary…”

“And what Dad does to him isn’t scary?” Natsuo’s whisper is louder and angrier. “I don’t like watching Shou go through the same thing as nii-san, you know?”

“But Touya doesn’t even know where he’s going,” Fuyumi hisses. Her grip on Shouto becomes tighter. “What if they get hurt out there?”

“They’re… already getting hurt here.”

They fall silent after that. Shouto doesn’t know why they’re worried about him and Touya-nii. Training hurts, but Dad says that once they’re the best, nothing will hurt anymore. So all they have to do is train more, until he and Touya-nii become the strongest heroes, and then everything will be okay, right?

“It’s fine. Doesn’t hurt that much.” Touya stands up and ruffles Shouto’s hair. “Anyways, Shou, crybabies aren’t allowed in adventures, so I can’t take you. You’re just gonna get in my way.”

“I’m not a crybaby,” he says with a pout. He hasn’t cried in a while, not even when Dad hit him in the tummy after breakfast.

“Yeah? Who cried when Natsuo blew out the candle on his birthday cake, huh?”

Shouto puffs his cheeks. “That was last year.”

A long time ago. Shouto doesn’t remember the last time someone had a birthday party at their house. Touya’s eyes suddenly look sad. “Yeah… last year, huh. Oh well.” He takes his bag from Natsuo and slings it over his shoulder. “Anyways, I’m outta this joint. You brats better take care of that crybaby, you hear? Or else I’m going back and takin’ him with me, no matter what you say.”

Natsuo nods and does a salute like they do in the Gundam animes they watch together. Shouto tries to do the same. “Yes, cap’n.” His voice sounds weird, like Fuyumi’s, but he smiles.

Touya salutes back, and goes for the door. It opens and it closes, as doors tend to do, and the house becomes unnaturally silent. Shouto remembers staring at it and wondering if he’ll see Touya again in the morning, playing football with Fuyumi and Natsuo like nothing happened.

By the time the weeping Fuyumi takes him upstairs with a cup of tea though, he suddenly understands that he’ll never see Touya outside his window again.

Shouto isn’t a crybaby anymore, but he sleeps with a saltwater-soaked pillowcase that night.

The weeks have been hard for Shouto.

He hasn’t been able to sleep well, eat well. Work had been terribly busy thanks to the upsurge in villain activity. He can’t complain; he doesn’t have the energy to. His days are spent in the OR, his nights spent collapsing on the bed or on the couch or on the floor, wherever his mood and energy levels take him.

People stare at him. At the empty space next to him. Then back at him, as if adding two and two together. It was only a matter of time before the rumors circulate. And they do, with a vengeance.

He doesn’t care, although it becomes extra troublesome when Endeavor catches wind of them and asks him questions about it. Leaving him on read is a simple matter, but it’s a little difficult when Fuyumi-nee starts to ask, and Natsu-nii.

Mom has been quiet about it, but her eyes look a little down when they do their video calls. She’s happy enough seeing him, she says, and she can’t wait for his next visit.

He doesn’t want Mom to be sad. She shouldn’t be, because Shouto’s been alone all this time. He isn’t technically any different from the time he went to see her and everyone else in Shizuoka.

(It’s just that now, he doesn’t have any of Ochako’s stories to listen to.)

But. He doesn’t recall being alone--truly alone this time, without the shield of a fake relationship to distract him--ever felt like this: a confusing state of too wide, too narrow. Too noisy, too quiet. Too much of himself, and too little at the same time.

He doesn’t enjoy it. But he doesn’t suffer in it either. He doesn’t know what to do with himself while in it.

There’s lots of space to take a good look at himself. All his scars and cracks and soft spots. Most days he doesn’t like what he sees, doesn’t like the stories that the sight of each blemish gives him.

Other times he doesn’t care. Those times are okay. He doesn’t have to hate Endeavor or himself as much. The past weeks aren’t any different from most of his life, in retrospect.

The short time with Ochako just made him believe that maybe a life other than that is possible. Even though it was pretend from the start.

Tonight is two weeks… three weeks? since they last spoke. He’s tired and alone and his hands are shaking and freezing and burning again. It’s not different from any other bad nights, but there’s a period of lucidity that makes him conclude:

This isn’t right. Being alone like this isn’t right.

He… needs help.

Real professional help.

Maybe… just this once, he can ask for it. Endeavor isn’t around to tell him that he can’t.

Fuyumi could help. Or Natsuo. Mom needed help, and was helped before, right? It wouldn’t be so bad. It would be logical to ask.

Maybe there’s someone in the psychiatry department that can help him. Shinsou works with them frequently because of his quirk. He’s a trustworthy guy, and quiet. Maybe he can ask him too.

He stares at into the emptiness of his apartment, and at his shaking hands. It’s silly, but just thinking of that feels like a breakthrough. That there’s a way out of this odd despondence that he has plunged head-first in.

Strange, that out of nowhere he wants to tell her. Maybe just to let her know that he doesn’t know if there’s a meaning to all of these things he’s feeling, but he found a way to find out, at least.

It’s way past midnight of a busy day. Shouto stares at his phone and begins to compose a message.

Ochako (0032H): hey, so about last time, im sorry. if ur not busy lets talk for real this time

Me (0032H): Can we see each other soon?

Me (0033H): …

Ochako (0033H): …

Ochako (0034H): haha

Ochako (0034H): at the same time… r u kidding me

Me (0035H): Yes.

Me (0035H): It’s pretty… amusing.

Me (0036H): I’m surprised that you’re still awake at this hour.

Ochako (0038H): ur not sleeping yet either

Me (0039H): No… I’m not. Not at all.

Ochako (0041H): so

Me (0041H): so

Ochako (0042H): again? Hahaha

Me (0043H): Yes, it’s uncanny.

Me (0045H): You said you wanted to talk?

Ochako (0046H): … yea, i do

Ochako (0047H): i mean,, i know we havent been… since that time

Ochako (0049H): i think i have things i want to say to you. And to myself too.

Me (0051H): I understand.

Me (0052H): It’s the same for me.

Me (0053H): Is tomorrow all right?

Me (0054H): I am free in the morning. But we don’t have to meet that soon, if you’re not ready.

Me (0056H): I understand if you aren’t comfortable yet.

Ochako (0059H): no, it’s okay.

Ochako (0100H): tomorrow’s perfect.

Me (0103H): …

Ochako (0105H): i’m not kidding. It is.

Ochako (0106H): my shift is in the afternoon, so… we can just see each other early?

Me (0109H): All right.

Me (0110H): We can have coffee, if you like.

Ochako (0111H): that would be cool, im ok with just 7-11 hehe

Me (0112H): No. The coffee there is terrible.

Me (0113H): You aren’t drinking any of those awful drinks if I can help it.

Ochako (0114H): omg lol i figured,,, u boujee

Me (0115H): … boujee?

Ochako (0117H): u rich kid. ur just like yaomomo

Ochako (0118H): haha but ok, we can maybe go to bakugous place if u want good coffee

Me (0119H): Oh. Will that place be okay for you?

Ochako (0120H): ah

Ochako (0121H): … yeah…. Bakugous scary, but… i mean he’s cool and his cafe is near the hosp, and if doesn’t matter if you, before… i mean, i rly dont mind going there

Me (0122H): All right. :) I’ll see you tomorrow, then.

Ochako (0125H): !!!!!!!

Ochako (0126H): is that smiley… real

Me (0127H): ? Did I use it correctly?

Ochako (0129H): oh! Yes. Yes you did

Ochako (0130H): lmao i must be dreaming its so late

Me (0132H): It is, haha.

Ochako (0133H): and now ur goin haha

Ochako (0134H): i think ur brain is also shuttin down shouto

Me (0135H): I don’t know about that.

Me (0136H): I don’t feel as terrible as I have a few hours ago.

Ochako (0138H): thats great… hehe

Ochako (0140H): so… im getting sleepy…

Ochako (0141H): im dizzy too… kinda too drunk, maybe

Me (0142H): … all right.

Me (0145H): I’ll let you sleep it off.

Me (0146H): Good night, Ochako.

The sun has just risen when Shouto sees her in the hospital lobby.

He sees her on most days, although he hasn’t looked her in the eye for a long time now. Ochako is in her scrub suit and a Hosu Gen jacket. Her hair is a little messy and is mostly up in a messy bun, exposing the back of her neck. Her eyes look a little tired, but they’re as bright and brown as he remembers them.

She smiles quietly. A little dizzily. Maybe she's hungover. It's not as off-putting as it should be.

“Hey,” he says.

The smile brightens and somehow reach her eyes. “Good morning, Doctoroki. It’s been a while.”

He nods and stares at her, instantly forgetting his script, not quite knowing what to do next.

“So… Bakugou or Jirou aren’t here yet to open the cafe, and we don’t have anywhere else to go,” she says with an awkward laugh. Maybe she notices how he doesn’t seem to know what to do next.

“It’s fine.” There are a few people walking by, with more important things to do. They don’t spare them a second glance. “We can start talking here.”

So they flop down on the worn lobby couch determinedly and stare each other down. Open their mouths, and close them again at the same time. It’s funny how they do that often.

“I’ll start,” Ochako says with an amused glow of her pink cheeks. They’re also as round as Shouto remembers them. A surge of nostalgia overwhelms him. “So… um, first of all… I’m sorry, I messed up. You didn’t deserve the things I said to you last time we saw each other.”

She pauses and assesses the look on his face. “I really am, okay? I was… am, insecure. I kinda got mad at you for things that I had no right to be mad at, and I didn’t even give you a chance to explain yourself. I was too focused on myself, but even then I sucked at focusing on myself because I didn’t really understand what I wanted and what I was afraid of. Like… maybe it’s just a perpetual fear of being alone and discarded and unwanted, because I had a lot of that in the past, and maybe… maybe I need to know for myself how to deal with that first, before I even think about you, and...”

She stops for a breath and laughs humorlessly. “And… you’re just staring at me like that. I really don’t know what you’re thinking.”

“Oh,” he says apologetically. “I didn’t want to distract you. I am listening, promise.”

She makes a cute little whining noise. “I know, just… urgh, I feel ridiculous, just monologuing like this. I’m beggin’ ya to stop me, ya know?!”

His mouth twists upward. “I kind of don’t want to. It’s nice listening to you talk.”

Her cheeks flush and puff and he realizes how long it’s been since he last saw that. How he missed it. How he missed her.

“You have to talk too, Doctoroki,” she says, jabbing him at the side with a finger. “I’m not the only one screwed in the head here, ya know?”

He catches her hand and forces it down on her side. She freezes at the feel of his hand on hers, and he does too, for a moment.

It’s nice, but he shouldn’t be distracted. “You’re right. I am… not okay.”

It’s a little hard to continue, with the look of warmth and concern on her face, like she’s ready to do anything for him again and he knows that’s what got them into trouble in the first place.

Well, he has to say words properly this time, so no misunderstanding occurs. “... I feel exactly the same way about myself. After thinking about it, I think the best thing for me to do is--”

Alarm spikes in his gut, so sharp he flinches.

Ochako stares at him with wide eyes. “Shouto? What’s wrong?”

He knows what this is. Even though it’s been years since the last time he was out on the field as a pro, his body remembers. All his nerves are alight, his muscles tense. His brain tells him to calm down, look around, find out what it is that’s wrong about this situation.

When the rumbling starts, he’s already pushing Ochako’s head down and facing the glass windows. An ice shield is already up before the floor in front of them collapses, and the people start to scream.

He hears a lot of things shattering beyond the wall, likely the glass and concrete. He hopes it isn’t his ice.

“Run,” he tells Ochako sternly, standing his ground. “Help everyone else get out of here.”

“But--wh-what is that, what’s going on?”

“Doesn’t matter. Evacuate.”

More shattering noises. A black shadow is on the other side, getting closer and closer. He wills fire to form on his hand, burning the sleeve of his coat.

Ochako, pale as a ghost, finally nods. With the people screaming around her, she starts to yell, “Everyone, please follow me, the fire exit is this way--”

The moment the ice shatters, Shouto’s hand bursts into flame. He targets the brunt of the heat onto the black thing’s face, not even bothering to see if it’s human or not. He can only target focus so much heat and smoke before the sprinklers come on, so he has to do as much damage with one blow.

He knows he applied enough heat to melt human flesh. But the thing that stares back at him--vacant, and only mildly offended by the fire--is obviously not.

A hand made of pure power starts to go down, fingers twitching as if to clutch him. It’s too close, he doesn’t have time to roll away or to fight back.

“Todoroki!”

Silver and black fill his vision, as do the sounds of metal hitting metal. When he opens his eyes, he’s up in the ceiling, and a person made of steel is in his place, holding back against a fist to the top of his head.

“Fuck, that hurts what the hell!” Tetsutetsu screams. Next to him, Shoji and Awase yell their expletives, a mass array of randomly fused bits of steel in their hands. “Let’s kill this thing you guys!”

Shouto stares at this bug-eyed before he realizes that he’s going down. In the next moment, he drops to the ground, the dark matter around him unraveling until it’s in the shape of a crow, floating next to Tokoyami Fumikage. “Todoroki, are you all right?"

“Yeah,” Shouto says, half in awe, half in panic. “What are you doing here? Everyone’s supposed to be evacuating.”

“Shouto!” Ochako yells from behind him. She is panting, along with Kendo, Honenuki, and Shiozaki, who are followed by a rather large group of pale-faced civilians. “There’s no way out. There’s more of them out there roaming the streets.”

“... a whole lot more of them,” Honenuki adds, with a swallow. “I saw at least five of them trying to break in here when we tried to evacuate just now. I made them sink to the ground, but it’s only a matter of time before they make their way out. They seem strong.”

Five more of these. He looks away from them briefly to form a wall between the fight and the civilians.

“We called the police, but I’m not sure how quickly they’ll respond,” says Kendo, as more shattering and rumbling noises emerge from around them. “And the pros too, but…”

Shiozaki sniffles. She’s a little paler than everyone else when she speaks. “I… called Emily. She’s responding to the call, but… it’s not just Hosu that’s suffering from the wrath of these beasts. Nomus, she called these abominations.” Her trembling hands are clasped in front of her, as if in deep prayer. “Who are these sinners who would dare play god like this, and terrorize so many innocents?”

The League of Villains, Shouto thinks in despair. Is this another stupid war against heroes? Another war against the number one hero?

Endeavor’s face flashes in his mind briefly, along with a concerning rush of emotions he cannot name. He shakes these off and stands up. “We have no time to waste, whatever this is,” he mutters, before running back to the fray, with fire and ice in his hands.

“Shouto!!!”

He noticed something while he was fighting the Nomu. There are people all around them, but it only seemed to target Shouto first. Its arms curl, as if in an effort to grab him. When Tokoyami caught him, its eyes went from Dark Shadow to Tokoyami, and were it not for Tetsutetsu distracting it with his steel skin, then it would have chased after the two of them…

This Nomu has targets, it seems. Shouto, Tokoyami, and Tetsutetsu are among some of them.

“Todoroki, watch out!” Shoji shouts, as he himself is thrown backwards with a blow to the stomach.

Is it because of their quirks? Is the League of Villains collecting innocent civilians with destructive quirks? What are they going to do with them?

The answers aren’t very important right now , Shouto reprimands himself as he throws more fire and ice against the Nomu.

“Todoroki! What the hell are you doing?!” Awase screams, as Shouto catches the Nomu’s eye with a small fireball to the face.

“Distracting it,” Shouto says evenly. “It comes after you if it sees you use a quirk. I’ll lead it away from everyone else--”

“No, don’t be stupid!” Tetsutetsu chokes, even as he bleeds from broken skin at his head. Ochako, who hears everything, pales more than ever and begins to move towards him. Kendo thankfully has the sense to hold her back with a normal-sized hand.

“--and when it’s far away, Shiozaki should form a barrier all around the lobby with her quirk. I’ll reinforce it with ice from outside.”

He doesn’t know why his voice is so calm and distant when he speaks. All eyes are on him as the Nomu blindly chases after him, seeking out his fire like a moth to a flame, too fast, too fast. He forms ice under his feet and slides out of the building on freezing waves.

In a matter of seconds, he’s outside of the building, the Nomu stumbling after him. As soon as they’re out in the sun, vines begin to emerge from the ground, forming a wall. To his relief, even though Tetsutetsu and Awase run to stop him, the vines seal them safely inside the lobby.

Now, he just has to deal with the Nomu by himself.

He hits the monster with fire and ice, but it’s difficult because his stance is unsteady, and it’s not doing his aim any favors. There are holes in the concrete, all manner of things falling around him as buildings crumble. There are screams and gunshots and blasts and rumbles of thunder from a distance.

He needs to fight. Fire, in his hand, now.

It doesn’t form. Something hits him at the back of his head.

It’s heavy and it comes from above, accompanied by a body falling somewhere close by. Debris, he realizes. He hopes that the person thrown is still alive. He hopes that it isn’t a civilian. Or a pro.

But there isn’t time to worry about someone else. His vision goes blurry, nausea filling his senses in waves. He tries to form ice when he can’t aim the fire anymore. The glaciers are hollow and weak, easily breaking when the monster moves.

The Nomu tilts its head at him curiously, hands going for his neck.

“Shouto!! Move!!”

Out of nowhere, the nausea at the pit of his stomach blooms into a complete weightlessness. Someone’s arms are around him. The Nomu misses and looks up at them, temporarily at a loss on what to do.

He looks at the owner of the voice. And the arms. And the reason why he’s floating. “Ochako.”

He means to sound angry, because he really is. He wants to tell her that she isn’t supposed to be here and why is she putting herself in danger for him when she was already safe inside? But his head still feels odd, and he only manages a slightly befuddled question aimed vaguely at all.

“We have to get you out of here,” she tells him in a voice that sounds too far away. They’re twenty feet in the air, and the higher they get the greener Ochako’s face becomes. “We can hide up the roof until the pros--”

She doesn’t even have the time to scream as the monster leaps from the ground and gets a hold of their legs. The tug jars them both, and despite zero gravity, they find themselves being pulled to the ground.

Ochako hisses in pain as her ankle is violently pulled down. “Shit! Get off me, you--”

He struggles and kicks and tries to burn and/or freeze the monster’s arms off. But he can only do so much without burning their own legs off. He can’t think straight, can’t aim well, can’t do anything--

When they sink, they’re suddenly engulfed in blue flame. It’s so hot he wonders if they’ve descended to hell.

The monster screeches like a pterodactyl and lets them go. Ochako appears beyond her limit of using her quirk and releases them as soon as they’re on concrete that’s not burning.

He crawls to her, coughing from the smoke and ashes billowing around them. He tries to form ice around them and then holds her with his right hand. “Ochako,” he calls out, weakly.

She stares at the flames in front of them, eyes as wide as saucers. “It’s… you,” she says weakly.

Amidst the chaos all around them, Shouto wonders why it’s the first thing that comes out of her mouth. And then he looks at the person she’s talking to: jet-black hair, burnt skin, stitches that make him look like a patchwork doll rather than a human. Flames are sprouting out of his hands, blue and hot that it stings his skin from a distance.

Blue eyes, cold with anger, stare down at the Nomu and then at the two of them. “Get outta here. Take Shouto with you.”

“Wh… who are you?” How does he know his name? Why does Ochako know who he is? How is this fire possible?

Does he know him?

The man glares at him for a split second before turning his attention back to the Nomu. The temperature is so high, the blasts so loud that the steel bars sticking out of broken concrete begin to wilt like flowers. His skin begins to burn, his ice quirk at his state can only do so much to counteract the heat.

“Shouto, let’s go,” Ochako says urgently, tugging at his sleeve. She’s burning up too, even though he’s trying to cover them in frost. “I can still make us float, just hold on to me, okay?”

He knows that leaving is the best thing to do right now, and that Ochako is their best bet. The Nomu looks like it’s in pain, its movements duller and slower. If they had to escape, it has to be now.

He knows that, but it’s then that something comes back to him. It’s trivial, but it’s when he sees how the blue of the man’s eyes matches the blue of the flames. It’s when he thinks of the way he says Shouto. It’s in the dark of his clothes, the fighting stance, the way his jaw clenches in excruciating pain when he incinerates the monster--

Kodai’s voice in his head: Todoroki-san… are you related to a vigilante named Dabi?

As powerful as it is, the man’s fire isn’t enough to hold the Nomu back. It hits him square in the jaw, making him fly in a smoking heap towards the wall of vines.

Shouto’s eyes snap open from the haze. “Touya-nii!”

His right hand moves without thinking. Another wave of ice emerges from the ground and in between him and the Nomu. There’s fire all around, the hissing heat enough to crack the shield, just enough to slow it down. Shouto moves to form another one, ignoring the dizziness of rapid temperature change around him, all efforts directed on saving him.

The next wave of ice from him is still weak. But the one after that is large and strong, and doesn’t come from him.

“Nii-san! Shou!” a familiar voice screams from behind them.

Shouto momentarily wonders if all he’s seeing is a mirage, because out of nowhere Natsu-nii is running in the scene, dressed in his physical therapist scrubs and bare arms white with frost. He brakes in front of Shouto, onyx eyes shining with worry. “Ochako-chan, go and float! I’ll take care of nii-san!”

“Okay!” Ochako yells, moving to touch Shouto, but he stops her.

“Shouto--”

It’s not the best place for confrontations. He knows that, but his brain’s too jumbled up to care. “Natsu-nii, you knew… you knew that Touya-nii was--”

“We’ll talk after we survive, okay? Just get outta here already!” Natsuo turns away and sends shards of ice careening towards the monster. He’s able to distract the monster enough to get to the dark-haired Touya’s side and to help him up.

“Shouto,” Ochako says, her voice edging at a sob. “Please, your… your brothers are letting us escape, we have to go now . ”

Shouto stares at the scene in front of him, hardly believing it. Natsuo touches Touya in practiced movements, cooling down very specific areas on his arms, face and chest hit the worst by the blue flame. After which, Touya becomes functional enough to shove him aside and throw another pillar of fire at the Nomu, and its friend--

Shit. There are two Nomus now.

Ochako sees this too, and tenses. She looks at him, opening her mouth to probably stop him from doing what he wants to do.

But he doesn’t stop. He stands up, ice and fire forming over both sides. His clothes are all but destroyed now, but he can’t care.

Running forward with a cry, he throws all that he has within him and directs them at the monsters threatening his brothers’ lives. At the same time, great pillars of ice and blue flame cover the two Nomus, leaving them screaming in an inferno of extremes.

It takes a while for the ice to completely shatter and the fire to die down. When they do eventually, one Nomu lies unmoving on the concrete. The other is still standing, but it twitches and trills, arms frozen in mid-air.

Shouto falls to his knees, suddenly too weak to move. Across from him, Touya does the same, steam rising from his skin. Natsuo also has to lean against the wall, his face covered in frost, breath coming out thick and white through chattering teeth.

It turns to Shouto. Blue flames begin to emerge from within--is this a copy quirk?--running at full speed, ready to burn him--

“RELEASE!!!”

A meteor shower falls over the Nomu, burying it under boulders and rubble. The pile shudders once, and remains still.

Silence falls over them. He hears Ochako gasp and fall next to him, feels her soft arms around him and her sigh of relief.

“Oh my god… I can’t believe that worked,” she says, voice cracking, eyes leaking with tears. “D-don’t ever do that again, Shouto, don’t you dare-- ”

“I’m sorry,” he says, holding her close. “It’s… it’s over now. We survived.”

“Really?” she sniffs.

“Yeah. Really. You saved us, Ochako-chan.” Natsuo and Touya stumble in their direction, looking like they’d fall over if they weren’t leaning on each other.

His… brothers.

Shouto is on his feet before he knows it, looking up into blue eyes and black hair and burning skin. His mouth opens and closes. He probably stares for too long, because he can’t believe what he’s seeing.

The man looks back at him, tired as hell, but still smirking.

“Don’t just stand there, Shou. Wanna come here?”

He nods, and embraces him. The smell of ash fills his nostrils and almost chokes him, pushing tears out of his eyes. He’s so weak and spent that his entire body starts to shake, and--

“Geez. Still a crybaby, huh, Shouto.”

“Stupid nii-san,” he grumbles. He has too many things to say, but he can’t think of anything else right now except how his older brother is alive and well and breathing in his arms.

Touya chuckles and ruffles his hair. “Okay, that’s enough, yeah? I think the pros are here, so I gotta get outta here before they catch me doing a better job of protecting the city than them.”

True enough, people in colorful suits suddenly rush the scene, falling down on the monsters littering the streets like arrows. The turn of the tide is visible and dramatic, with heroes of all shapes and sizes plucking civilians from the streets and/or pummeling Nomus to the ground.

“We gotta get you out of here, nii-san. It’ll be harder to keep you outta sight if we stay here,” Natsuo says, mustering up enough energy to lift him more decidedly by the shoulder.

Shouto looks up at them meaningfully.

Touya rolls his eyes. “Are ya really gonna throw a tantrum about me running away from home years and years ago? Right now? ”

Despite the situation, he hears Ochako snort behind him. Natsuo huffs, giving Shouto an amused smile. “We’ll talk later, promise. Right now, you and Ochako have to help out all the injured and--”

A flash of light cuts off his sentence.

“LOOK! Up in the sky!!!”

Simultaneously, they turn to the sky, the mess of people around them doing the same thing.

At the center of the Hosu skyline, the vision of an exploding star rises. Orange and green and blue flames as hot as the sun, expanding twenty meters in all directions. Shouto sees the gaudy blue and orange of his suit, the flashy flames of his face bursting with the rest of the flashfire.

“It’s Endeavor! We’re saved!” Someone screams in relief from below.

“The old man’s still at it, huh.” Touya’s voice is ragged and cold, his smile sardonic. Still, he’s looking up at the sky, watching the fight. Natsuo, too. His mouth is twisted as if he’s tasted something bitter, but he can’t take his eyes off the sky, the sun.

All of them are watching him.

People are screaming, cheering for him. He’s never heard such a strong approval of him. He wonders how he’s going to flaunt this after all this chaos is over…

And then, it happens. It probably lasts a second, but Shouto sees the moment stretched out, painful and slow.

Something gleams, pointed and silver, from the Nomu’s hand. It’s strong, and aims for the middle of Endeavor’s forehead. It misses.

It hits the side of his neck instead.

And as quickly as the brilliant sunfire comes, they disappear. Endeavor falls like a comet from the sky, a streak of crimson trailing from his neck as it does. He crashes into the side of an office building, the sound of crushed glass and steel and stone echoing across the sky, onto the street.

The silence that follows is deafening.

#todochako #todoocha #shouchako #todoroki shouto #uraraka ochako #peony pink and cherry blossom tea #bnha fic #dabi #todoroki touya #dabi is a todoroki #and also a vigilante #todoroki natsuo #todoroki fuyumi #i wanted to write that flashback scene for long #i ajsdlkjfsalkfdjdsa;lf

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