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#but with becca's death I think it ended that which was a change that was needed and why i think billy is being pushed into a redemption arc
mattzerella-sticks · 2 years
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I'm gonna need both Maeve and black noir to make it this season bc i want to see so much more of them especially as part of the boys group also hell yes at your idea of them just dating each other all over the place. I love this show but for something that constancy critiques things like racism and homophobia and sexism and how it manifests in our society it's still very much a very white straight male show which?? How about some queer relationships between your leads dude (part 1)
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Like I hope so too because those two characters have so much untapped potential that we got GLIMPSES of this season, especially with the Boys. Maeve and Billy hanging out more would be great, and not in the sense of building up their relationship but because I think we need ANOTHER person who can call him out on his bullshit. And I've said this in other posts but BLACK NOIR AND KIMIKO & FRENCHIE?!?!?! They would work so well together.
That being said, as much as Eric Kripke has been pushed to the front of this series - and like, this isn't a knock against him - he is one of nineteen executive producers, and only wrote three out of, so far, twenty-three episodes. Yes, he's the showrunner, but there are other voices in the mix and Eric doesn't seem like the kind of person to nix ideas that might not appeal to or appear for straight, white, and male audiences. I think season 3 is a perfect example of them shifting away from this being such a white, male, and straight show through having Soldier Boy and - not to sound like Jensen in an umpteenth interview - toxic masculinity take the forefront as the season's villains, with Billy and Hughie falling under its sway. By developing Mother's Milk's backstory, giving him a complex character arc and really pushing him to the forefront of the story instead of focusing on Billy. By having this storyline of Annie not falling into the classic, lovelorn and 🥺 character it feels like she was written to be in the comics (which... talk about a case of American Sitcom Wife between comic Starlight and Hughie) and standing strong for her values against all the people who tried to make her bend as well as being an active agent in a lot of the plans. By, though it might be an unpopular opinion, not moving forward with making Kimiko and Frenchie's relationship romantic in nature - and also giving Kimiko agency and a voice at every turn alongside Frenchie's desire for tenderness that has really been doubled down on this season. I mean, if this show weren't turning away from a white, male, and straight audience would a) there have been the Reddit madness that was hilarious and b) so many men being turned on by Jackles and causing a new generation of Jen-heads? Billy and Hughie are not the driving force of this season nor the heroes they believe they are; they're technically minor antagonists at this point lol. I don't think they'll not be redeemed in the finale, but they've been making some pretty dumb choices all in the effort to make themselves feel better - and we've seen the story not reward them for this by causing rifts between them and the people they care about.
Yes, Supernatural - especially in its earlier seasons - was incredibly sexist and overwhelmingly white, with racist undertones at times and a lot of homophobia that seemed more than making gay people the 'butt of the joke'. But the circumstances and forces at play during Supernatural's early seasons, and the Boys now, couldn't be more different. The writer's rooms are different. Eric isn't the same man he was when Supernatural was in its infancy. There are different people involved. Instead of network television, this is streaming where there's a lot more freedom.
However, I do agree that queer characters on shows that aren't billed as 'gay' do tend to be few and far between without a lot of depth or complexity in their sexuality. We might not see all, if any, of their main male characters engage in queer play or activities, with anyone of the same or a non-binary gender including each other. They're taking strides with Frenchie, who of the Boys is the only confirmed queer character on their roster it seems, and Kimiko, by not taking their relationship into romantic territory - but mainly because of the direction of the story and from actors' and writers' inputs on the relationships.
If the story were to go there, like I've said, I don't see Eric being hesitant about doing so. The hesitance over Destiel - especially towards the end of the series - was majority network with a dash of one or two people in entrenched positions within the creative team. I don't see that, so far, with the Boys. It doesn't seem like they would be afraid if the story took them there, except for maybe Garth Ennis. But there is no active drive to make these choices either instead of being led by the story, which isn't a bad thing but a product of the people behind the wheel I guess which is what you're alluding to. As progressive as people can become, there are still things that they can be unaware of because of the privleges of their lives.
Also, it has to be said, despite Annie and Hughie's relationship being a major part of the story - romance is not the main drive of the Boys nor has it become a central focus of the story and plot like it had for Supernatural.
I like to say there'd be a polycule between Annie, Hughie, Frenchie, and Kimiko. But I also believe next season will focus on Hughie and Annie probably planning their future because it will be a season heavily about parents and children (Soldier Boy & Homelander, Billy & Ryan). If Victoria doesn't survive the season 3 finale, but that seems less and less likely the more episodes we saw, I figured they might adopt her daughter. Adoption, of any superpowered kid, though seems likely given the cover story Hughie mentioned, because why not take in a super-powered kid? Maybe they adopt the laser-eye baby lol. And while Frenchie is queer, who knows if they will introduce someone male-presenting to be his love interest and not have him reunite with Cherry. While I like Billy and Mother's Milk growing into a romantic relationship, they have set up Billy and Maeve in this season (if she survives that is), and I don't think Monique and Mother's Milk's story is over either.
I do think and would like to see Soldier Boy engage in male-on-male activities in the next season, however 😘
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obsessedwrhys · 1 month
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The Seven and The Boys with forced supe reader(like Billy’s little sister as revenge for billy and the boys constantly causing problems)
Rouge powers reader————powers turn on and off randomly
can absorb life forces and powers(which they can steal(albeit accidentally))
Very stubborn and sarcastic just like her brother
Home lander is probably extra yandere for tons of reasons and keeps the reader in a glass room(enclosure or whatever)(think a zoo exhibit or big aquarium tank without water—— that one room from You or the glass apartment In Supernova for the kid with the same sort of powers)so that he can see his pet/prize/whatever tf he plans to do with them
-🌑
I keep seeing this as a full blown fic in my mind but I don’t have the skills to pull it off so I’d like to see other people’s takes on the idea!
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ The Boys x Rogue!Reader
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ᯓ★ I read your req and I'm intrigued so this is my attempt on it, hope it meets your expectations. This is like a full on story lol (angst, gore, death, killing, looooots of cursing like I'm not even exaggerating, homelander being homelander, some fluff at the end?)
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With your brother's reputation, it's hard to ever live your whole life without the constant need to look over the shoulder. You always liked to tell yourself that after cutting ties with him, it will ensure you your safety, but those words were nothing more than just lies.
Losing Becca changed him completely. You could still recall the last time you spoke to him, the talk regarding your concern escalating into a heated argument.
"I'm telling you! You have no chance against a literal superpowered person! You'll get yourself killed!" You raised your voice, standing on the other side of the kitchen counter.
"Yeah, but this ain't a life worth livin' for anyways" He brushed your words off like he usually does. You watch in disbelief as he pours himself alcohol.
"Fuck you. You're such an asshole..." You said and he nods at you as he lifts his glass up.
"I'll drink to that" You scoff when he actually drank from his cup, the sound of him sipping ticking you off.
"Okay, fine, get yourself killed! But I won't stand to be here when it happens. I want you out of my life. I never wanna see you. I never even want to hear from you again! You're... you're..." You gasp as you start to sob. He turns to you, nothing but a blank expression on his face.
"Hey... take it easy—"
"No! Don't you fucking tell me to take this shit easy when you just admit to me that you're willing to throw away your life for some blonde american supe! You are a shitty brother! You're just like dad!"
"Don't you fuckin' compare me to that cunt!"
"I fucking said what I said!"
"Fuck you!"
"FUCK YOU!!"
The sound of your heavy breathing filled the kitchen. You could feel your chest rising and falling, your face burning from the overwhelming anger. Butcher sighs at the sight of you as he looks away with his eyes closed.
"You don't know half the things I know sis... you have to understand..."
"No... don't bother telling me. I already know that you'll never change..." You grabbed your things and before he could stop you, you left the house, slamming the door while you were at it.
For the next 8 years, you would find yourself living somehow a happier life. Making friends, going through relationships and heartbreaks, getting multiple jobs to pay for your apartment. It was like an ocean wave since it was never steady but you couldn't deny you've never felt more alive.
However, even on these good days, there were nights you'd find yourself waking up to nightmares. Nightmares of your brother dying. Nightmares of being abandoned. It always left you covered in cold sweats and sometimes you couldn't go back to sleep so you'd just sit by the window or watch some videos online to keep your mind off it.
Even though you convince yourself you were happier.
You never felt secure.
You always felt like something was out to get you.
Especially after you saw the news of him theorised to have killed the senior vice president working at Vought. You couldn't bother to remember her name cause the image of your brother was hauntingly enough. That's when you realised, if they were after him, what if they were also after you?
You stood at the counter of the restaurant you worked at. The job was new as you interviewed for the role of the cashier. Though all these days of dealing with rude customers and having to force a smile is making you want to rethink a different job. Just then, the door to the restaurant opens.
"Welcome!" You said as cheerfully as you can. Instead of searching for a table to sit, the customer approaches you.
"I'm sorry but where's the restroom? I really need to go" The customer spoke, he was wearing an awfully lots of layers, even shades indoors.
"It's just at the back to the right, there's a huge sign, it's hard to miss it" You smiled and the customer stares at you for a while before nodding.
"Thank you"
Finally, he leaves and you couldn't help but be relieved. Why were you holding your breath in the first place? After a couple more hours of standing around and smiling, your shift was done. You did your daily duties and cleaned up the place, making sure it was clean before you leave.
"Bye (Y/N)! Don't forget about our hangout this Friday night!" Your friend spoke as she leaves first.
"Trust me I'm looking forward to it!" You replied before heading to the back of the building to throw the trash away.
You were on your way to the huge bins until you felt the trash bag become lighter. You stare down and was annoyed the second you saw that the bag had tore. It's settled, you're getting a new job after you get your salary. You crouched down and tried to think of ways to solve the issue.
Once you stood up, you felt a sharp pain on your neck. Before you could even do anything to find the source of the pain, you collapsed. The last thing you could feel before becoming unconscious was the touch of someone catching you.
....
"Will it work?"
........
"We've only tested on rats. We're not sure sir"
...........
"Do I have to rephrase? If she dies, you fucking die with her, you understand?"
...............
"Yes sir"
.....................
"Good. Now do what you're only good for, you fucking worthless piece of shit"
...............................
Lights... knives... syringes... you slowly awoke on the floor as faint images of what you would recall as a memory began flashing in your head. Did that happen? It felt real. You opened your eyes and blinked a couple of time to register the room you were in.
You were... in a cage?
You looked around, the walls and floors made of white marbles which made it cold when your skin made contact with it. Now that you realised, you were no longer in your uniform, you seemed to be wearing some kind of gown patients would wear for surgery.
"Morning sunshine!" Your body jumped when you heard a familiar voice, a voice you only heard on the tv or radio shows. You stare at him as he walks to the center, a few feet from your cage.
It was Homelander. You never thought the day would come where you would be face to face to the person behind the reasons of your brother's rampage.
"Did you rest well?" He asks, an eary grin on his face. You looked around the inside of your glass cage.
"Couldn't you have given me a mattress?" You said. Your concern catching him a bit off guard but he didn't show it.
"Well, we tried to give you something more comfortable to sleep on but it seems like anyone who tried to even touch you ended up well... what's the word for it... withered. Dead. Nothing but a corpse suck dry of it's life" He said but you had no idea what any of his words meant.
"Is this some joke?" He chuckles.
"No. No joke (Y/N). I'm simply just giving my hypothesis on your new powers"
Powers? You have to be high right?
Did whatever pain that you felt was the mark of your death?
Is this some sick twisted illusion of yours created in hell?
"Yeah right... and I'm fucking Beyonce. Would you like to see my collection of Grammys?" You said sarcastically, clearly not taking anything seriously.
Homelander doesn't say anything but just laugh, since you were clearly convinced this was hell and that you were dead, you laughed along with him. He trembles his shoulders as if he's cold, that devilish grin still on his face.
"Wooo! You're a jokester aren't you (Y/N)? I know I'm just gonna love you. How about I bring you a gift as a symbol of our blossoming friendship?" He asked but he had already left the room. Your answer never even needed at all.
As your laughter died down, you were left alone in the room. You felt high. Too realistically high. Were you pumped with drugs? Shit... you grabbed your head as you tried to process the feeling until you heard the sound of a high pitched scream. You turn your head to find it to be your friend from work. She was shoved into the room and right when she stood up to leave, the door was shut.
"Let me the fuck out! You fucking bitch! You promised me weed!" She slammed on the door a couple of times after attempting to twist the doorknob open.
"Cleo?" She turns to you, her masacra ruined from her tears.
"(Y/N)? Holy shit what happened to your hair?" She said and you were confused until you checked to see the front strands of your hair now dyed white.
Okay now what in the actual fuck is happening...
"I don't know...? Why are you here?" You questioned.
"Some fucker promised me weed for some cash. I should have known better when I saw how cheap it was" She sighs as she sits against the door.
Suddenly the glass door on your cage sprung open. The two of you exchanged confused expressions. Is this some kind of trick? You wondered but either way you stepped out from your cage and began to approach your friend. She sighs as she curls up into a ball.
"What the fuck even is this place...?" She asks after you finally sat down beside her. You rubbed her arm to provide some comfort.
"I don't know... this feels real and fake at the same time. Hey, if by any chance we were in a puzzle just like in Saw, how much do you wanna bet who'd win—?" You nudged her playfully but instead of getting a response. She falls over.
Her face was pale white. Eyes dilated. The veins on her body growing visibly purple. The sight left you in shock and you quickly grabbed her by the shoulder to jerk her a few times. No words left her mouth except sounds of gasping, as if the air was getting sucked out of her lungs.
"Cleo! What the fuck! Holy fucking shit!" You cursed and it didn't take long until her body grows limp. Like a skeleton with a thin layer of skin left.
Afraid the same would happen to you, you quickly ran into your cage. You sat at the corner, trying your hardest not to look at your friend. That was real. This isn't some stupid trick set up by Satan. This is fucking real.
But why is this happening?
Why you?
The glass door slammed shut and the noise made your body jump. The door to the room opened but got stuck at the weight of your friend's corpse. You could hear the sound of disgust come from Homelander as he ends up kicking body aside to be able to open the door fully.
"So... did you like my gift?"
"What the fuck did you do? Did you poison her?" You said which he seemed offended at.
"Me? Oh please, I can shoot fucking lasers out of my eyes and I choose to poison some fucking nobody? I mean look at her" He chuckles, his eyes staring at the corpse of what was your friend.
His tone and words growing a small wave of anger within your chest.
"What do you want from me?"
"You know what I want" He said, the smile on his face gone. He was now serious. His gaze cold enough to send shivers down your body.
"(Y/N) Butcher. Butcher. I didn't know he had a little sister" He took a step closer, then another, until he was face to face to the glass, staring down at your figure hiding away in the corner.
"He really doesn't get scared huh? Not afraid of death, to take a life, not even me. And well... since he fucking hates supes so much, then I might as well make his beloved sister one. If I can't strike fear in him, you will" Homelander spoke, the corner of his lips twisting into a grin. As if all of this was bringing him some sick enjoyment.
"Everyone will be the pawn and you'll be the queen... so save your strength. You're gonna need it sweetheart" He turned around and as he leaves, he stares at the corpse for a quick moment. Even from inside the cage you could hear him shout for the people working to clean the body.
Fuck... this cannot be your life now...
You're now an animal kept in a cage.
Hours progressed to days then months. The only thing keeping you entertained was... the toilet? Aside from that was the visits Homelander would pay you every now and then to make sure you were alive. It almost seemed like he had expected you to be dead by now but you weren't, which he's impressed about.
You laid on the ground, staring at the ceiling. You were bored so you decided to try to count from 1 to 10000 this time. Just as you got to 482, the door opened and you turned to see it wasn't Homelander but rather a worker. Assuming he's just here to clean, you turned back to the ceiling to continue counting.
"Pssh, ma dame, do you hear me?" He knocks on the glass, his french accent caught your attention.
"I don't care. I'm not gonna strip for you"
"Nono! That's not why I'm here, your brother, Billy Butcher? He sent me here" His name striking something in you. You got up as your eyes are slightly widened.
"He knows I'm here?"
"Yes... he's here as well. He's gonna try to get you out of here"
Just as he finishes talking, the glass door sprung open. He gets in the cage and reaches for you but right as you reach for his hand, you remembered you weren't the same anymore, you were cursed, so you quickly pull your hand away. Your action causes the man to tilt his head in confusion.
"Do not worry, I'm not here to hurt you" He tries to take a few steps closer but you quickly stepped back.
"No.... no stop! That's enough!" You raised your hands gesturing him to stand where he's at.
"Don't touch me..." You added and he stares at you for a moment before taking a few steps back until he's out of the cage.
"Okay... but you must follow me. We don't have much time left" He said, walking out of the room and you hesitated for a while before following after him.
When walking down the hallway, you couldn't help but look around the area. This was your first time seeing the place you've been trapped inside for supposedly months. As you followed the strange man who saved you, you noticed that he seemed to be talking to someone over his earpiece. Was it Butcher?
After managing to sneak past several guards and having a few close calls, you two finally made it out from one of the back doors. You hurried as you followed the man somewhere. You couldn't believe it. The feel of the wind and the smell of the grass was making you wish you appreciated the outdoor more.
"Were you noticed?" His friend who's been on the look out asked. He shakes his head.
"No" After hearing his reponse, his friend turns to look at you.
"I'm M.M.... C'mon, your brother put in a lot to save you" He began walking away and the two of you simply went along.
He did?
"I haven't introduced myself. I'm Frenchie. It's nice to meet you" The man who saved you earlier said with a smile and you weakly smile back.
The moment the three of you reached a van parked in a safe area. The door slide open and your eyes widened once you were locked eyes with someone familiar. Yet he looked so much different now. He grew a beard. You had to admit, it made him look less ugly.
"(Y/N)..." He got out of the van and was ready to embrace you but you quickly avoided his grasp. This causes him to stand there with his arms hanging there awkwardly.
"Ooookay.... get in" M.M told Frenchie and they did just that, sliding the door close to give you both the privacy.
"All these years and you still hate your ol' brother" He jokes as he drops his hands down to his sides, but it was clear that he was upset at your actions and trying to hide it.
"Don't touch me"
"I got it"
The two of you stood there and you were staring at him a little too hard. Thoughts racing in your head like a racetrack. What the fuck has he been up to these years and how did he even find you?
"So... are we jus' gonna stand here and wait for 'em to realise you're missin'?" He nods at the facility nearby and you sigh.
"You're taking me home" You walked over to the passenger seat but the sound of Butcher clicking his tongue made you stop halfway in your tracks. Now you were standing in front of the van.
"Not gonna happen. Is your head loose of screws sis? They know who you are now, which means they know where you live. You're gonna be stayin' with me" He said.
Shit... there's really no chance of a normal life now. You really are cursed.
"Stay with you? With these guys?" You point at the van and from the front of the vehicle, you could see his friends all huddled in the back, the whole time they've been secretly listening to the conversation but once you pointed at them, they tried to act as though they haven't been doing so.
"They can protect you"
"I don't need protecting. The last thing I need is someone doing that"
"Oh really? Then mind sharing your experience in there? Was it a luxury? How much longer do you think you could have lasted if I hadn't found you" He took a few steps closer and you gave him a warning look.
"You're my sister... you think a few fights is gonna change that?" He tried reaching for your shoulder and you quickly dodged it. Failing to notice, tears were beginning to well up in your eyes because deep inside, you were desperately in need of comfort, a hug, anything physical but you couldn't even have that.
"You can't touch me... nobody can.... f-fuck... I killed my friend just by touching her..." You began to sob, your hands grabbing onto your face in an attempt to hide your expression. A frown appears on his face.
"What the fuck did they do to you...?"
"They made me a freak! They gave me these fucked up powers!! I don't want this...!" You cried, wishing this was another of your nightmares and that none of this was real.
"It's okay... come here..." He began to step closer to you but you were too numb from the feeling to even react.
Taking off his coat, he puts it securely around you before wrapping you in his arms. For the first time in months, you finally felt the presence of another person's embrace. The warmth felt so good. It was like you were melting from it. Your sobs grew weak as you nuzzle onto his chest, the fabric separating the contact of your skin with his. This was everything you needed right now.
"We'll get through this... these powers of yours ain't gonna scare me away" He said, rubbing your back gently.
"Thank you..." You muttered.
After you escaped and made it safely away from your prison. Homelander was alerted of your escape a few hours later. He arrives at the facility, walking down the hallway as the doctors walking by were scared to see him and trying their best to avoid his sight. Once he walks in the office of the head security, the man sprung up almost instinctly.
"Sir" He greets him. Homelander doesn't say anything but stare at him... before breaking into a smile.
"Great job, at least you're good at failing at your job. Now show me" He walks over to the guard's side who's hurrying to click a few things on his computer to show him what he came here for.
"The tracker we planted in her is working well and fine. She's currently in a vehicle heading somewhere"
"Good... it's like sending a cat to a bunch of rats" Homelander then gave the man a strong pat on the shoulder.
"Do we go after them sir?"
"No, keep an eye on her for now. I'll tell you when the time is ready" Without any further discussion, he left the office. A plan already set in his mind.
(I might make a part 2 but I'm not sure if anyone would be interested, it'll be sort of fluff where the boys figure out her powers, some angst? Idk, tell me if you think I should)
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waywardcrow · 5 months
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Timeless.
Chapter II.
Summary: 1943. 1975. 2024. Three different decades, three different lives, three different times your life and Bucky's interwined; he lost you twice, will he do it again?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader.
TW: It can change each chapter but themes of Bucky as soldier and as the Winter Soldier in general, flashbacks and letters between Bucky and reader which are in italics like this, a not so good writing style by me, lots of feels, one awful boss, themes about inmigration but just mentioned, past reader is mentioned to be named Beth but that changes for 2024 version of her so I nicknamed her little bird for Bucky, Ace for everybody else, this will be a +18 story so minors dni.
Disclaimer: Please remember english is not my first language so if I make a mistake or forget something let me know.
Pictures from pinterest and graphic and dividers by the amazing @ firefly-graphics so all credits to the creators.
Previous chapter <<<
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Bucky took you home that night and your lives were never the same again.
Your home wasn’t very far from his but even if Bucky didn’t wanted more time with you he would have done the right thing anyway, you in the other hand didn’t seemed too thrilled about it.
Always too shy to talk to boys, more comfortable with your job as a nurse, your friendships, your time, you were sure to end up a spinster but the thought didn’t bothered you, life had changed too much and it was better to keep it the way it was before you loosed something else.
“How was your date tonight?” was the first question you could think of, which was stupid because it could be misinterpreted, Becca was so sure you were perfect for his brother that tried to convince you more than once to go eat dinner at her house and meet him. You always refused, too embarrassed to follow your friend schemes when Bucky was clearly not interested for what you understood.
Why would he? He was so handsome, he probably laughed when Becca suggest it, saying he wanted to date women, not… well, you, so young and not really interested in dating too.
Bucky bit his lip, nervous, what did Rebeca had told you?
“It was fun, just a night in a science expo” he said, regretting that immediately, will you think he was a loser for that? Or for going back home that early? Did you knew about what people said about him?
“Oh, sounds… fun” you were an idiot, it was so obvious.
You guided him to your street and he panicked, you knew about his reputation, that’s why you couldn’t look at him, you didn’t even wanted him to walk you home, perhaps you avoided him all the time you were friends with Rebecca because of that and he didn’t understand why but it bothered him.
He couldn’t leave knowing you thought so little of him.
“This is my house” you announced stopping in your doorsteps, it was not as pretty as the Barnes’ but you and your mom did everything you could.
“It’s very nice” oh this was so painful, when he got that bad at talking to women?
“Thank you for bringing me here, you didn’t have to” he gave you a nod and the butterflies in your stomach didn’t stop you for saying what you wanted “I know you are going overseas tomorrow, I might be… is not my place but I hope you come back home safe” ignoring your impossible fast heartbeats you went to open your door but his hand stopped you.
“What was that? What you were whistling with Becca?” that was the best he could think of and he couldn’t regret it because it earned him the first smile you ever gave him.
“It’s something my dad teach us when my brother and I were kids” you recreated the two notes melody and his heart went very fast in his chest, you looked so pretty under the moonlight, sounding like a little bird.
“Beautiful” he said and your skin heated at the sight of him watching you “could you teach me?”
He still could whistle that two notes melody; even as the Winter Soldier they couldn’t erase you away from him.
But Bucky didn’t suspect that not even death could erase him away from you too.
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You had that dream again, it was so confusing every time and only left you with more headache but still you found some comfort in it, like going back home. Sometimes you wished to stay there.
There was this man with a boyish smile, the prettiest smile you have ever seen; he was next to you in the doorsteps of an old house that made you feel nostalgic, you couldn’t see him properly but the way he spoke to you it was so sweet and left your heart aching.
You always woke up feeling less lonely, there were just dreams made up for a hopeless romantic but they were a relief in days like these.
The magazine finally got a chance for a serious interview since Mia got the editor job, the truth was they were getting more close to become a cheap gossip magazine than something like it had been in the past. Harper was so mad about that, Mia was an idiot and she will be more mad if she knew that her sister made you do mostly all her work.
You couldn’t go to visit your parents in the retirement home in months and you hated it.
They are one of the reasons you couldn’t leave your job, after working so hard all their lives, having more than one job to raise their daughters in a country that despised immigrants to this day, giving them a chance to really live comfortable was the less you could do.
And for keep doing that this interview with Pepper Potts needed to be a total success.
That was easier to say than do, not because you thought she will be one of those difficult persons, you admired that woman. One of the best CEO’s in her field, if not the best, working so hard to keep her company and her family stability after losing her husband; if it were for you, you will give her the best coverage possible with the best journalist but Mia insisted in doing the interview herself.
All you could do is hope for the best and to don’t lose your shit in front of Pepper Potts the next day.
“I want my outfit ready at five and the car should be picking me up on time, I don’t want mistakes” Mia said dropping her unfinished work in front of you “you have to get this ready by midnight and don’t forget you are going to work tomorrow in the charity gala so keep you slutty outfits for your nights out with Harper” her poisonous smile confused you, when had her see you out with Harper? You didn’t have time for going out anymore “wear something proper.”
Something boring and plain that made you invisible, she meant. You gave her a nod, contrary to her you didn’t needed to be noticed to compensate lack of personality.
That was everything she had to say before going in her way, leaving you taking a breath to don’t go and push her through a window, they were very resistant and didn’t break that easily anyway.
Taking a sip to your coffee you decided to start.
It was better to be left alone in the office, you could take your stupid shoes off and put some music, even relax a little or think about maybe being more than what you were, you didn’t have a fancy education but that was always compensated with your hard work, maybe one day things will be better.
But not tonight, you had only a couple of hours and a lot of things to do.
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Dear little bird,
I told you I will write, you probably didn’t expected my letter to arrive so soon but I couldn’t help myself. Rebecca told me you are going almost every day to have dinner with your mom at my ma’s and I wanted to thank you for that, they are everything to me and I’m more at ease knowing they have you close.
Also I wanted to ask you how you are holding up, Becca told me your brother was shipped off too, hope you don’t mind she told me that but she likes you a lot and thought maybe you could use one more friend, if you want it.
I’m so bad at this.
The truth is I miss you but before you roll your pretty eyes at my letter I know you said you weren’t interested in meeting anyone right now and I respect that, I just don’t want to keep going with my life like I didn’t meet you because I did and even if I’m an ocean away, I think of you.
If you don’t answer, I’ll understand.
JBB.
You read Bucky’s letter more than once after telling your mom you were going to sleep. The candle light was running out but your fingers kept tracing the pattern of his handwriting, your cheeks burning every time his pet name resonated in your mind.
Was it true? That he thought about you? Still, could mean nothing.
You were just one memory from his last night in New York, it will be naive of you to believe he felt the same than you, the sensation of being seen for the first time, like you were made for his eyes only.
It was so stupid and dangerous, he could be writing to other girls too and for what people said about him there was a high chance that was happening but something about his words made you feel like you should write back, at least to don’t be rude. He thanked you for taking care of his mom and sisters and asked for Alex so the polite thing to will be respond to his letter even if you don’t wanted him to know how much it meant to you.
Sargent Barnes,
You did said you will write and I’m pleased to know you made it safe to your destination, your mother and sisters miss you dearly, Becca makes sure Liz and Elisa do their chores and help your mother, also Becca is taking some time to visit one of your friends, Steve I think, he went to eat dinner the other day at your house and seems like a nice man.
Thank you for asking for my brother, Alex is currently in Italy and writes as much as he can, I know is not likely but if you run into each other keep  an eye on him please, he’s a good boy but impulsive and with a temper that can challenge a storm.
There was no reason for me to don’t answer to your letter; I left my position very clear the night we met when you expressed your interest, I’m sure you have some pretty ladies to write to instead of your little sister’s friend, if you want to be friends we could but something else will be very close to a deception, I beg you to don’t encourage something that will change when the war is over and you return home to your life.
With my best wishes.
You signed your letter and went to sleep.
When your letter arrived Bucky had a breather after an incursion in enemy territory and his mood got ten thousand times more blue, why couldn´t you take him seriously? It couldn’t be only for his reputation and Bucky wouldn’t push anymore if it wasn’t for that night in her porch.
You felt it too, that certainty of being in the right place with the right person.
Was it for someone else? You mentioned that Steve was a nice man which probably put him in a higher position above Bucky himself, he was aware his best friend will find the right lady who could see beyond all the reasons that made others not even noticed him but didn’t expect her to be his lady.
Just that you weren't his lady and didn’t seem like you wanted to but the last part of your letter bothered him, how could he go back to his normal life like he never shared that night with you? When every time he closed his eyes he saw you smiling at him under the moonlight?
It was so confusing, why was he so hell-bent in convincing a girl he barely met to give him a chance? He could never go home or you could meet someone else, those thoughts droved a knife through his chest.
Bucky took a sheet of paper and began writing.
Dear little bird,
I promise I will keep an eye out for your brother if I cross paths with him just like you are doing with my family, 103th unit right?
But despite of how happy makes me know everything is going well back home there’s something that doesn’t let me be, why do you think I’m writing to another ladies? I could swear on my life the only ones I write besides you are my ma and my sisters, I also write to Steve who is a punk and doesn’t write back as often but that’s all. I told you that night I wanted get to know you. If is only friendship what you want, I’ll be the happiest man being your friend but I’m a hopeless romantic who falls fast and hard and I have no intentions in denying it.
I’ll respect your wishes about being friends or if you don’t write back anymore, that will not change anything I said before but if you are hesitant in giving me a chance because what others said about me  then I’ll have no other choice to prove you wrong.
I don’t want to go back home knowing I didn’t do enough, this war is taking enough from all of us, don’t you think?
I’m so sorry if this was too forward but I don’t know how to fight from here besides with my honesty.
Yours,
JBB.
He finished his letter before sending it, hoping you could feel he meant every word.
Next chapter >>>
Tag list: @cjand10 @bunnyforhim
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Hey! This one took too long but I wasn't so sure about this chapter anymore, I hope is not too chaotic with the different timelines and letters and flashbacks, what do you think? Please remember I can't tag ageless blogs.
Love, Lily.
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crazyunsexycool · 1 year
Text
Is it a crime?
Chapter 8
Pairing: mob boss!bucky Barnes x mob boss!reader
Word count:5.2k
Warnings: angst, some physical violence, physical violence against a pregnant woman, death threats, gun use, teenage pregnancy scare, arguing I think that’s all
A/N: some of you are upset on how the last chapter ended and I’m sorry! I hope some parts of this chapter makes up for it. A LOT is revealed here too. Please let me know what you think. A very special shout out to the very lovely Em ( @writing-for-marvel ) for being such an amazing person an creating dividers for this series I absolutely love them. Em is also a very talented writer so you should check out her writing!!!
Series masterlist
Ch. 7
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17 years old
You paced back and forth in your bathroom. Bucky sat at the edge of the bathtub, his leg bouncing as he watched you. The wait was pure agonizing torture. After a few minutes the timer you had set went off. The answer you were waiting for would be the best news or the worst. You pick up the little white stick with a pink lid and read the result, sighing in relief.
“What does it say?” Bucky asked, still unmoving from his spot.
“It’s negative.”
You showed him the pregnancy test and he frowns slightly. His reaction causes you to frown on return. He pulls you closer so that you’re standing in between his legs. His arms wrap around your hips.
“Did you want to have a baby now?” You ask in a whisper. “We’re still in school.”
“Now or in five or ten years or fifteen years, it doesn’t matter. As long as you’re the mother of my children.”
He smiles up at you, that sweet boyish smile you love and you can’t help but run your hand through his unruly hair.
“What if we’re not together by that time? Or we stop loving each other?”
He pulls back and looks you dead in the eye, his expression serious. “The day I stop loving you is the day I die. Even then I’d come back as a ghost to haunt you with my love.”
“You weirdo.” You laugh at the last part.
“I can live with that as long as you promise to love me back, and marry me when the time is right and have my children.”
“Only you Barnes, only you.” You smile brightly down at him before you connect your lips with his.
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“You got her pregnant?!” Bucky hears behind him. He turns in his chair to see Becca walking into his living room and right towards him with a scowl on her face.
It was too early for this. To have this talk or fight. His head was still pounding from the horrible hangover he acquired, which takes a lot of alcohol considering he isn’t a lightweight.
“Answer me, James.”
“No.” He says quietly at first. “I don’t think so— maybe.”
When Becca stands in front of her older brother she can see the red rimmed and puffy eyes. There were dark bags under said eyes, his hair was disheveled as if he ran his hand through it multiple times. It’s obvious Bucky hasn’t slept or eaten anything since Dot announced the pregnancy and that had only been a few hours ago. But it was your face that kept showing up anytime he closed his eyes.
“Why would you even sleep with her? I thought you hated her guts.”
“Becca please, I can’t do this now. How did you even find out?”
“She’s been at home for the last hour talk-“
“It’s like 8:00 am.”
“Anyways, I came here because she was talking to dad. Dot is trying to convince him to make you move up the wedding since she doesn’t want to look pregnant in her wedding dress.”
Bucky’s eyes snap up to look at his sister.
“Fuck,” he throws the glass he had in his hand against the window. “Let’s go now. I’m not moving that wedding up.”
“You should shower and change first, you smell like a cheap bar.”
“Fine.” Bucky growls before stomping away toward his room.
****
Once he’s freshly showered and dressed Bucky heads back downstairs. There’s a whispered conversation going on between Steve and Becca. They both turn to look at him once he makes his presence known. Steve’s expression is more grim than Becca’s.
“What did she say?”
Steve opens his mouth but closes it again. He smooths his beard as he tries to think of the easiest way to say what you had told him.
“Will you just spit it out?”
“She told me to tell you to leave her the fuck alone and that you should be focusing on your future wife and child.”
Bucky curses under his breath.
“I’ll deal with dad first, let's go.”
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Not much had changed in the old restaurant Pierce had brought you to. It was his usual spot even when you were a kid. The waitstaff still feared him, his men were still posted at every entryway. He still sat at the same table, with his back to the wall leaving you to sit with your back to a huge window. Sometimes you thought of just sending Cougar to take him out from a few rooftops away but that would take the fun out of everything. And if one thing was certain it was that you wanted to watch Pierce realize he’d lost. For now you indulge this little power trip of his.
“You know I gave up on looking for you about three years ago. You were in the clear, you could have kept living your life. So I don’t understand why you would do something so stupid like come back?” He looked at you over his coffee.
“You’re too old to be acting this stupid Pierce. You know why I’m back.”
“Watch your fucking attitude with me, princess.” He slammed his hand on the table, causing all the cutlery and plates to clang against each other.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk. My, my someone is testy this morning. What’s wrong Pierce, did your prune juice not work for you?”
“I’m going to give you one day,” he held up one finger as he glared at you. “To pack your shit along with those good for nothing goons you brought with you, and get out of town. After that I won’t be responsible for my actions.”
“Is that supposed to scare me? Come on, you know better than that.” You shifted in your seat and sat up straighter. “I’m only going to tell you this once, I’m here to take back everything you stole from me. There is no negotiating, I will leave you with nothing and when we get to the end and you’re begging me to just end you, I will take pleasure in keeping you on the brink of death until I see fit.”
Pierce laughed and when he stopped he had a smug smile on his lips.
“Was that supposed to scare me?” He mocks. “I’ve taught you everything you know, I’ll always be ahead of you. There’s not a move you can make that I won’t know about and I will make your existence so miserable you’ll be the one begging for your life to end.” He takes another sip of his coffee. “I could have had you killed the minute you stepped into my city but as a courtesy I wanted to have this sit down. I’ll only warn you once. The minute you step out of that door you have 24 hours to leave. If not, get ready for war.”
You smile at him before lifting your hand and signaling for someone or something. The window cracks and splinters, a bullet flies by your and Pierce’s head imbedding itself in the wall behind him. Before he or his bodyguards have time to react you’ve already gotten up from your seat. You grab Pierce by the back of his neck and slam his head against the table. The gun Rosie had given you just that morning is in your hand and pressed against his temple. “Tell them to back off.” You instruct Pierce as his men point their guns at you. “Now!”
“Do it, put your guns down and back off.”
You lean in “I’ve been ready for war for ten years. You should have killed me when you had the chance. If you think you can intimidate me with your old school bullshit, you’ve got another thing coming. That was the only warning shot you get, next time my guy won’t miss.” You push his head against the table once again before standing up straight. The gun you brandished was now pointed at the other men.
“Where did you get that gun?” He asked, sounding a bit panicked and surprised.
“Why do you care?”
“That was your mother’s gun.” He said through heavy breaths. “She was supposed to have it the night she died but it wasn’t in the car.”
The comment confuses you, how would he know if it was or wasn’t in the car.
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure this is the gun I use when I kill you.” You snap before walking out of the restaurant.
Jake was waiting in a car just outside for you. You get in and he barely waits for the door to close before pulling away. He’s fuming, you can tell by the way the veins in his neck are about to pop out.
“Can you tell me what the fuck that was about?” Jake says through gritted teeth. He’s gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles are white. “What were you fucking thinking? He could have killed you.”
“He wasn’t going to. Pierce likes his little cat and mouse game. He has a strict set of rules he likes to follow, he never deviates from it. You know this.”
“That’s not the damn point.” he practically yells at you.
“Watch your tone with me Jensen. I’m your fucking boss, I make the calls not you.”
“And I’m not some low level pusher. I’m your right hand and I’ll call you out when I have to. Listen I get you’re upset about the Barnes thing, but that’s not an excuse to be so damn reckless.” His voice softens a little.
“Stop the car.”
“What?”
“I said stop the fucking car.” You snap and he does as you ask. “You have more important things to do, get to ‘em.” You say as you get out of the car and slam the door shut.
He drives away while you stand there. You take a deep breath and you wish you could smash someone’s head in.
“Fuck.” You mutter as you walk down the sidewalk.
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“Oh my gosh, what happened to the window baby?”
“What the fuck are you doing here Dot?” Pierce glared at the bubbly blonde from his seat at the table.
“Well I wanted to see you and you weren’t at your office. The plan worked, James and Y/N think the baby is his.”
Dot gets closer to the older man and inspects his face. She gasps as she sees the red splotches on his face from where you slammed his head against the table.
“Who did this?” She tried to caress his cheek.
Pierce grabbed her wrist and pulled it away from him.
“Ow, Alex you’re hurting me.”
“Are you fucking stupid? Did the bleach finally seep into your brain and ate away at your common sense? Y/N could have seen you. It could have ruined everything.”
“But I just wanted to see you. I’ve missed you and I know the baby misses his daddy.”
“You missed me?” Pierce’s hand connected with Dot’s face. The sound like thunder in the otherwise quiet room. “If you ever do anything stupid like showing up here I will kill you myself, understood?”
Dot tries to wipe the tears away and nods.
“Oh baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to do that but sometimes you just make me so angry. Come here.” Pierce pulls Dot into a hug. “Now do me a favor. Get on your phone and call Rumlow and tell him to meet me here. Can you do that?”
“Brock is already outside. I’ll just tell him to come in.”
“Why don’t you do that and go home. We can’t risk our plan falling apart now can we?”
“No sir.” Dot walks out of the dining area and gets Brock before leaving.
“You wanted to see me?”
“If you ever let your sister near this area again, I will end you.” Pierce glared at the younger man.
“Understood. Anything else?”
“I gave Y/N 24 hours to leave. Burn down one of her warehouses tomorrow.”
“You think she won’t leave?”
“Of course not. I taught her better than that. The offer was just a formality. Now go keep an eye on her place. I want to know what happens.”
“You got it.”
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Bucky walked into his family home ready to tear his father apart if he tried to have the wedding moved up. Dot was already gone by the time he arrived which was good because he would have strangled her. He said a quick hello to his mother and walked right into his father’s study. The older man glared at him, George Barnes hated being interrupted in the middle of what seemed like a meeting. This would have earned Bucky a beating but not anymore. Honestly Bucky would like to see his father try and swing at him.
“You know the rules, boy. I’m working and don’t just walk in here when I’m in a meeting.” George growls.
“This meeting is on hold,” Bucky looked down at the man in his father’s office. “Donny take a break.”
Donny looked between the two men and got up to quickly exit the room. He was more afraid of Bucky than he was of George. Bucky had earned a certain reputation over the last ten years that his father could never have.
“If you ever disrespect me-“
Bucky held his hand up to stop his father from going on and on about all the things he would do.
“I don’t have time for this, I know you know about Dot being pregnant. I’m pretty sure that kid isn’t mine so I’m not moving up the wedding. If I find out who the real father is, the wedding and the engagement are off. I’m not going to negotiate any other contract with you. If it turns out that I’m right you’re keeping up the end of our deal.”
“You think you can make demands? This is my business. I say what will and won’t happen. I give the orders and who does what. You’re nothing more than an ungrateful brat. And don’t think that your sister won’t get what’s coming to her for running to you this morning.”
Metal hits wood, a huge indent forms on the dark wooden desk. Cracks shoot out in different directions, effectively breaking the desk.
“You haven’t done shit for this business in years. I’ve been doing all the work, so what I say goes because I’m tired of your fucking bullshit. You don’t even know what’s going on outside these walls, the threats I’ve ended so that we can continue to operate in this city. From now on you will report to me. And if I find out that you put a finger on Becca I will make sure your death is slow and painful. Because trust me I’ve thought of it many, many times already.” Bucky sneered.
“Yeah, if you’re so tough then why haven’t you done anything about it?”
“Because of ma. Maybe you oughta be more grateful I haven’t gotten rid of you yet.” With that Bucky walks out.
He doesn’t care what his father has to say or think anymore. There were more important things in his life and if he really wanted to keep the business going there were more than enough men that were loyal to him. Bucky finds Donny, one of his father’s trusted men. One that had slowly started to gain more respect and fear of Bucky. Bucky instructed him to let the others know he was now in full command of the Barnes family and their businesses. Everyone reported to him and if someone didn’t like it they’d be eliminated.
Now all Bucky had to do was find a way to talk to you.
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You got out of the cab you had flagged down after your disagreement with Jake. The familiar brownstone stood in front of you in all its glory. It reminded you of many childhood memories, both good and bad. You only have to wait a minute after knocking. The door flies open to reveal Joseph Rogers.
“Little otter I didn’t know you were coming over today.” He greets you happily. “Come in, Sarah will be so happy to see you.”
You give him a half smile as you walk in and head toward the kitchen where Joseph told you Sarah was. The older woman turned and her face lit up when she saw you walk in. She quickly wrapped you up in a hug. It took everything in you to not break down and cry. You were all raw emotions and doubt. So many questions swimming in your head.
“Well what brings you by today? I heard the club had its grand opening last night. How did that go?”
“It was successful in all the ways that mattered.”
Sarah looked over at her husband with worry as she placed a cup of coffee in front of you.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Just that it did what it was supposed to. I have business deals starting up and I’m meeting with some local business owners in the next few days that are on Pierce territory. They want out from under him and I’m willing to provide the protection. Pierce even had the nerve to show up at my parents' graves this morning. He gave me a day to leave or he wouldn’t be responsible for his actions.”
“That piece of shit. Your father should have gotten rid of him when he had the chance.” Joseph says.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything otter.”
You pull out your mother’s gun and place it on the table.
“Hey, no guns on the table.”
“Sorry Sarah.” You smile at her before turning to Joseph. “Rosie gave it to me this morning. She said mom gave it to you to fix and you returned it but my parents had already left that night. I pulled this gun on Pierce and he was surprised to see it. He said that it was supposed to be in the car that night but it wasn’t. Do you know why he would care about it?”
Again Sarah and Joseph look at each other. The latter gave his wife a single nod.
“There’s something you need to know, Y/N.” Sarah said as she gently placed a hand over yours. “Before your mother was the head of her family and before your parents even met, your mom and Pierce dated. He was very much in love with her. Maybe he wanted to keep the gun to remember her?”
You stare at Sarah with nothing but pure shock and disbelief on your face. The nervous habit of playing with the locket that belonged to your mother brought you a little bit of comfort.
“Did my father know?”
“He was aware of Pierce’s feelings for her but I don't know if he was aware of their relationship.” Sarah tells you as she eyes the necklace. “You know your mother had a locket just like that.”
“This was her locket.”
“Oh, I didn’t know you had it. She never took it off.”
Something about this didn’t feel right. The new information about your mother’s past relationship with Pierce made you question some things from your past.
“I should go. Thank you for everything.” You say as you stand and place the gun back in its holster.
“You don’t have to thank us. Just make sure you come around when you can little otter.”
You hugged them both and walked out. Cougar was leaning against the car you had used to drive to the cemetery. He tipped his hat in the direction of the Rogers and opened the door for you.
“Where to, boss?” He asks after getting into the driver's side.
“Wherever Jake is.”
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Jake was typing furiously. It’s like he was punishing the keyboard for the argument between the two of you. He heard the door to his office open but ignored it, there were more important things to deal with. Until a little plastic T-Rex was placed on his desk. The corner of his lip ticks upward. Little plastic dinosaurs had always been how you apologized. There was no rhyme or reason to it. The tradition started when you were little and it stuck. You both had a small collection and you would trade them back and forth.
“I’m sorry about how I reacted this morning. You had every right to call me out. It’s one of the reasons I trust you so much.” You say quietly.
Cerulean eyes framed in circular glasses meet yours. They hold no real anger in them. It always made you wonder how Jake could be so kind but so cruel when needed.
“I was out of line too. I just freaked out when Cougar called me and told me what was happening. I’ve seen you go through too much for it to be over so quickly. So what did he want?”
“He’s giving us 24 hours to leave New York or he won’t be responsible for his actions.”
“Like he’ll be able to do any real damage.” Jake rolls his eyes and turns back to his computer. “Good job on placing that mic though. It took a few minutes but I have it up and running now. It seems like that’s where he likes to do business. Or at least some of it. They have cameras but no audio. I hacked in so that we have visuals and with our mic we have the audio we need for our back up plan. I also thought that if we could offer better deals people would agree to do deals with us instead.”
“This is why you’re my right hand JJ.” You clear your throat. “I need to ask you something. Do you remember when I asked you to look into my mom?”
He stops his typing and turns to look at you again. “Yeah.”
“What did you find?”
Jake pushes off the ground sending his computer chair gliding through his office at the club. He stops himself in front of a cabinet and rifles through until he finds what he’s looking for. Jake pulls out a thick folder. He then moves back to his desk and sets it down.
“This is all I have. It includes those offshore accounts she had made in your name that I found a few years back.”
“Is there anything in here about her death? Any crime scene photos or anything?”
“No, it seems like the police department is behind on digitizing their cold cases. Why?”
“I just found out some very interesting information and I wanted to see what the police found.”
“I’ll find a way to get my hands on it as soon as possible.” Jake stands and opens his arms offering a hug, which you accept.
“Thanks JJ, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Let’s never find out.”
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You massage your temples after rereading the information Jake had given you. The music tonight annoys you and you consider going home for the night. There’s no real need to be here and Clay can look over the club. You sigh as you grab the drink you had poured for yourself and finish it off. Sinking into your office chair you close your eyes and think about what’s happened in the last 24 hours.
How bucky had his way with you on your desk and left you floating on cloud nine only to be pulled back down to reality just minutes later. You still couldn’t understand the whole issue he had with this supposed contract. Now it really didn’t matter, Bucky was going to get married and be a father. Two things you’d thought you’d experience together.
The door opens and you’re surprised to hear the soft click of the handle as it closes again. But you’re not in the mood to deal with anyone so you don’t bother to open your eyes.
“Whatever the issue is, Clay can deal with it. Go bother him and leave me alone. I’m going home anyways.”
“Good, let me take you that way we can talk.”
You sighed as you slowly opened your eyes to find Bucky walking towards your desk. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. There were dark circles under his eyes and he just looked hung over. You tilt your head slightly, taking in his form from head to toe.
“No.”
“Just let me explain, bug.” He said as he stopped in front of your desk. Seeing Bucky standing there brought back the memories from the night before. You suppress the shiver that wants to run down your back.
“You had your chance to tell me the truth and you didn’t. That’s your problem not mine.”
“What? When was I supposed to tell you she was pregnant? I didn’t even know.”
You stand up and put some space between the two of you. This is the last thing you wanted to do right now. It hurt so much, just the thought of Dot having the one person you loved the most.
“I asked you if you loved her and you said you couldn’t even stand to be in the same room with her. You could have told me then. Did you sleep with her?” You look up at him.
He pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue and drags it down. Bucky did that when he was trying to find a way to say something he didn’t want to.
“It’s not what you think.”
“Get out.”
“No,” Bucky moves and walks towards you. He’s determined to get you to listen to him. Bucky puts an arm around your waist as you try to walk away from him and pulls you back until you're against a wall. He cages you in, his body pressed into yours and you can smell the alcohol he must’ve drowned himself in. “I’m not going to lose you again. So you’re going to listen to me until I’m done.” He says through gritted teeth, he’s so close his breath hits your cheek.
“If you actually fucking cared you’d give me my space. But obviously you don't, so I want you out of my club before I have you removed.”
“Call them in, have all of your people come in here and try to take me away from you. It ain’t gonna happen. Dot was a fucking mistake, I only slept with her once. I was drunk and I don’t even remember finishing. I wouldn’t be surprised if that kid wasn’t even mine. So please, don’t push me away.”
“You don’t fucking get it do you? It’s not just about the baby. I asked you and you didn’t tell me the truth.” You manage to get away from him and put some distance between the two of you. There was that familiar sting in your eyes of tears threatening to spill. You couldn’t allow them to reveal how much the situation hurt you. “I’m not naive, I couldn’t expect you to not move on or not sleep around, I did.”
Bucky’s jaw clenched at the admission. The thought of someone else holding you like he did angered him beyond belief. Even if he had slept around, none of them were you. He would kick them out of his apartment as soon as he was done, he didn’t care if they were satisfied. They were just a means to an end.
“Y/N, It’s not like that. I promise-“
“Instead of making promises to me you should be making them to your fiancée and your unborn baby. And I’d be very grateful if you’d stay on your territory, taking care of your business and not here. I have more important things to worry about.” You say as you turn and stare him down.
He scoffs before crossing the room and once again invading your space. His hand comes up and he places a finger under your chin, forcing you to look up at him.
“This isn’t over. I don’t care if it takes another fucking decade for you to believe me.”
“Bucky…”
The door opens revealing Roque and Cougar, effectively stopping the conversation from continuing. They both look at Bucky and then at you, waiting for your command.
“Make sure he leaves and figure out how he got past security. If someone let him in I want to know who it was.” You say without taking your eyes off of Bucky.
Bucky steps away, a slightly defeated look crosses his features before he walks away. Cougar follows him out but Roque stays behind.
“You ok, princess?”
You look up at him. “No but I will be. Do you know if Nebula and Gamora are set up at the warehouses?”
“Yeah, it’s what I came to tell you. They are ready to go and will keep us informed of anything that happens.”
“Good, now come sit I have to go over a few things.”
*******
Cougar silently walks Bucky out through the back of the club. Neither of them say anything until they’re at the door.
“Listen, I’m not going to stop until she believes me. That kid isn’t mine.” Bucky was just desperate.
“I believe you, Barnes.”
Bucky turns to look at him. It felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders just by having one of your people know the truth.
“But, maybe you should worry about your fiancée more than you do my boss.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Do you know where your fiancée is when she isn’t with you?” Cougar shrugs. “Maybe you should figure out who she hangs out with before you try to get Boss’ attention again. And you’ll have to do better than just sneak in here because next time I’ll just shoot you, and I never miss.” Cougar just nods towards the door, a clear indication for Bucky to leave.
He pushes the door to find Steve leaning against his car. Arms crossed over his chest, he glared at his best friend once he’s close enough.
“I told you she wanted you to fuck off and you show up here anyways?”
“What did you expect me to do, let her think I have any feelings for Dot?” Bucky snaps as he gets into the car.
“You should have given her the space she wanted, she’s dealt with enough today.”
“What happened?”
Steve sighs. “My parents told me she showed up at their place. She had a sit down with Pierce and he gave her twenty four hours to leave or else.”
“That fucker. We should just take him out.”
“If it were that easy we would have done it a long time ago.” Steve replies. “So what should we do?”
Bucky looks over at his friend for a moment and thinks about everything that has happened.
“Take me to the pub.”
“The pub?”
“Yeah, I’ve taken full control of my family’s business and I need people I can trust.”
“To the pub it is. The guys will be excited.”
“I hope so.” Bucky muttered.
If you really had a sit down with Pierce already, the war that was coming was going to get ugly fast. He should know he had been on the receiving end. It’s how he lost his arm. But even with everything going on between the two of you he needed to be ready to protect you. Because if there is one thing you two have in common is the fact that you would kill or die for each other, no matter what.
Ch 9
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teecupangel · 5 months
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i am already unfathomably attached to the transistor au (sent the same day you first posted the ask), and would love to hear more about how he breaks away from Lucy and the assassins. like, does he still do some Ezio memory diving with Shawn n Becca n Lucy before going AWOL? did Altaïr tell Desmond about Lucy's betrayal or did they figure it out based on Altaïr being suspicious of her and going digging?
does her death spur Becca and Shawn and/or Bill to start looking into Lucy or do they double down on the "she’s our friend and we trust her"?
im loving the stargate/tok'ra vibes of transistor in general, but especially having read stargate brotherhood by the ever-lovely esama. do Desmond and Altaïr like share brainspace or is it more than they just communicate telepathically?
and just for my own visuals, how does Des wear Altaïr’s sword? like at his hip or (stretching believability) on his back? horizontal at his lower back?
(anyways thank you for answering, your ideas are always so wonderful and inspiring and it’s actually kind of a problem when I just want to write something for all of them. but thanks, I hope you and yours are doing well 🧡)
The Transistor AltDes AU for those curious.
He didn’t need to break away from the Assassins because he and Altaïr decided to kill every single red in Abstergo’s Rome facility… which includes Lucy.
They run away afterwards, with the Sword of Altaïr having the properties of a Sword of Eden, including a shockwave that manages to destroy surveillance cameras and other recording devices.
The most they were able to save from the recording are videos of Desmond walking before the sword glows gold and the recording ends.
They don’t necessary thought it was Desmond until they learned that Lucy died by being beheaded. Others died from puncture wounds the size of the Sword of Altaïr in vital points of the body or, strangely enough, by what appears to be something similar to thunder strikes (this is, of course, a capability of the Sword of Eden as seen in AC Unity).
Becca and Shaun definitely believes that Desmond has fallen into the madness of the Bleeding Effect and they’re torn between wanting to save him because they believe it’s not his fault, it’s the Bleeding Effect, but also they can never forgive him for killing Lucy.
Bill is actually the one who believes there’s more to it because he believes that Bleeding as Altaïr wouldn’t have Desmond go on a killing spree. He saw Lucy as an enemy that needs to be cut down and, not only that, he might even believe that Lucy being the only one beheaded among them means something (it does, beheading is a common punishment for traitors that must die for the Levantine Brotherhood and it is also the way Umar Ibn-La'Ahad is executed by the Saracens).
Of course, Bill and Rebecca thinks Bill is doing this because he wants to protect his son (which is also true but Bill is also being logical about this)
Oh man, yeeessss. I love Stargate Brotherhood, mainly because I love Stargate and I love esama’s works hahaha. For this one, I think it would be fun if they believe that they’re just telepathically communicating but the truth is it’s sorta true? They’re communicating telepathically… for now but the more Desmond and Altaïr stay together (aka: they talk telepathically), the more their brains sorta… connect with one another. This is a key to how Altaïr can save Desmond later on as I have written in the reblog of the original ask.
My initial idea is that Desmond actually holds the scabbard on his left hand like Virgil in DMC because the sword itself is a one-handed sword so it would work.
But when he’s trying to go incognito, my first thought was a drawing/blueprint storage tube because I remember Blood the Last Vampire XD
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But then I remember it looks like this:
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And that won’t work because of the wing crossguard of the Sword of Altaïr.
Unless…
the wings can be folded which becomes a clue that the sword can change its form in some ways.
(Thank you! I would absolutely love it for you guys to write these ideas because there’s so many that I can’t do it myself but no pressure. I’m just happy to read your asks, reblogs and replies to any of the ideas I post XD)
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Big chunks of fandom are going to be super disappointed or pissed if they honestly expect a happy wholesome ending from The Boys show.
Especially for Homelander or Billy Butcher.
Setting aside the fact that neither is likely to survive the final battle if Ryan isn't the one who ends up dead and Homelander goes berserk, which is definitely unavoidably happening at this point like there's been a build up and it's a done deal, the most likely option if they do survive is something bittersweet with enough death to counterbalance that and make it feel rotten.
Pretty much the only people guaranteed to survive in the series are Annie and Hughie. That's it. I wouldn't even hold my breath for Ryan because things are getting that bad and every sign that shit is going to hit the fan in the worst way possible is there.
And the thing is, this was always the case. It was always going to be the case.
The show started with a woman getting liquefied from a speedster literally running through her.
And much like the comic, it hasn't slown down. If anything, it's surpassed the source material and we haven't even reached the end yet.
This isn't even to say that the comics are the end all be all for the direction the show will take, obviously they are different. But the parallels are there and you'd be a fool to ignore them. If you didn't enjoy the comic, you're going to hate the way the show ends.
Becca survived in the show.
Really only to postpone her death. And what a coincidence she was accidentally killed by her son, just like in the comic. How long do you think Ryan's death will be postponed? How much do you want to bet it's going to be the same guy who kills him?
The story itself is not wholesome and never has been.
A literal rapist has custody of a child he forced on a woman, after getting her killed. That is not a good thing, it is not wholesome in the slightest, and it should not be viewed as such.
It's brutal and grim, and people are latching onto small moments and romanticizing, and I can tell you now. You're going to cry and scream and suddenly turn to hating the show for... Continuing on the path it always had set.
And you'll really have no one to blame but yourself at that point for expecting that the story suddenly change to not be what it has always been. If anything, it's been consistent.
There's a tag in fanfiction that reads:
"Dead Dove: Do Not Eat."
That is the comic. It's also the show.
A happy ending isn't just the wrong thing to expect, it wouldn't be appropriate for the story being told. And from a more personal perspective, I think it's important to realize and accept the brutal reality that not every story is going to be happy, real life or fiction. And not every story should be or has to be.
It's kind of the lesson that The Boys teaches us in both iterations.
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midnightwinterhawk · 1 year
Text
Mar's covid reading list
Covid made it hard for me to focus so I spent my downtime rereading some favorite comfort fics which I will now share with you for the low, low price of 'don’t forget to kudos and/or comment on these lovely stories'.
(16k | Explicit | Sterek)
We Grew A Little And Knew A Lot by attackofthezee (noxlunate)
“So, you do like me though?”
--
“No, I hate you and I’ve spent a ton of time and money trying to make you happy for no reason at all.” Derek deadpans and Stiles can’t help it, he smiles blindingly at Derek and leans in, smashing their mouths together.
Or an A/B/O fic that's totally mostly floof
Fireman Derek's Crazy Pie [Cheeseburger Baby] by owlpostagain
(18k | Teen | Sterek)
“He can't blame me for the fact that I live in a building full of people united in the singular effort to ogle Hot Fireman as often as humanly possible."
Laura laughs, loud and echoing in the empty restaurant.
"Hot firemen can make a girl do crazy things," she agrees, nodding towards her brother's name on the menu. "Derek won't let me date anyone from his company, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the eye candy."
"Send them my way," Stiles suggests, finally loading up a forkful of pie. "Apparently I'm incompetent enough that I need to be babysat at all times, because it would be cheaper than dispatching a truck every time I try to use a kitchen appliance."
Leave the Rest Unspoken (I Hear You) by @lizabethl
(16k | Explicit | WinterHawk)
“I, um. I don’t think I’m supposed to have these.”
Bucky held something out between them, changing the target of Clint’s focus. When Clint saw the stack of envelopes in Bucky’s hands, his heart stopped beating and he dropped his bow to the ground.
Shit.
“Shit,” Clint whispered, wanting to reach out and snatch the letters from Bucky’s grip, but unable to move due to the mortification flowing through him. “Did you read them?”
Starving for the Light by @thepartyresponsible
(45k | Explicit | WinterHawk)
“You’ve got, like.” The witch taps his own chest, center mass, with the slice of pizza. “An infection, kinda. In your soul, I guess. Whatever you want to call it. Nobody wants to call it magic.”
“I don’t have any magic,” Bucky says, immediately. He’s not a witch.
“Sure,” the witch says. “Well, that thing you have that connects you to Steve, the part of you that can form bonds to other people. That part of you. It’s fucked.”
“Fucked,” Bucky repeats. He wonders if that’s a medical or magical diagnosis.
Mistakes Were Made by @spidergwenstefani
(1.4k | Teen | WinterHawk)
Sam slaps his hands against the conference table, half-standing from his seat.
“You spent three days with the deadliest assassin on earth? Doing what?”
Clint’s face goes red and Maria feels her stomach drop.
“No,” she manages. “Barton. You didn’t.
“Um.” Clint's face scrunches up like he can wince his way out of the conversation. “I didn’t not.”
AKA Clint ends up confessing to having met the Winter Soldier once before.
Baby Whisperer by @twothumbsandnostakeincanon
(26k | Mature | Steter )
“What. Is that.”
Scott looked up at him, apprehensive.
“Her name’s Lily.”
Stiles stared at the fuzzy head peeking out of the papoose.
“Her. Her name. That is a real live human baby. Oh my God-”
“Actually I don’t know if she’s human?” Scott said with a confused frown. “Becca didn’t say.”
“Who the fuck is Becca?!”
Infinite Space by @discontentedwinter
(35k | Explicit | Steter)
Stiles needs Peter's expertise to help stop the latest threat to Beacon Hills.
And, as the pack falls apart around him, he might even need Peter for more than that.
there's a niche in his chest where a heart would fit perfectly by xiaolongbaobei
(7k | Mature | SladeJay, Jason&books)
Frankly it’s a stupid idea, but Jason’s apparently known for his stupid ideas, including one which everybody in his ex-family has claimed led to his own death. Victim-blaming and general classism aside, yeah well if nobody’s going to treat Jason Todd like an adult or a hero — he thinks that he doesn’t need to be a hero. And ergo — Jason’s free to make stupid choices. Like getting into bed with Slade Wilson.
The Corner of Divinity by @primeemeraldheiress
(5k | Explicit | SladeJay)
He stared, heart in his throat. He couldn’t tear his eyes away. The heavy tang of blood was thick in the air and his feet felt like lead. He couldn’t move. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to. Whatever he’d expected to find, it wasn’t this.
Deathstroke’s lips twisted in a smirk. “I hoped you would show.”
“How could I resist?” Jason drawled, grateful his helmet hid his voice and for the scent blocking patches on his neck. “It was such an artfully worded invitation.”
Between Us by Tulikettu
(9.7k | Explicit | Fratt)
Matt asks Frank to go to a wedding as his date.
Foggy is annoyed.
Frank makes some mix tapes.
Matt might have underestimated everything he's ever felt.
Frank has vowed never to love again.
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the-cranck-hobbit · 2 years
Text
Blend of Ice and Storm || Song of a Nightingale Pt. 1
Author's note : English is not my mother tongue, I am french but I wanted to try to write in English so here we are ! (Don't hesitate to tell me about the errors…)
Pairing : Mitchell! OC x Rooster, mention of Kazansky! OC x Hangman, mention of OC × Iceman
Summary : Two years after the uranium mission, Maverick enjoys his new life. Working on his plane, drinking beer at the Hard Deck, building a limpy little family with Penny and her daughter, Rooster, his WSO's son and Blizzard, his wingman's and old friend's daughter. 
Everything change the day he got a call which announces the existence of a 26 years daughter. 
Discover the story of Ally and Bradley, find out if Kathleen will deal with her father's legacy, and meet Beck, the first woman graduate of Top Gun.
Warning : VERY BAD WRITING, age gap, mention of death, mention of diseases, mention of parents death, mention of s*x but nothing descriptive
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The Hard Deck was animated tonight. Some pilots just came back from deployment. Among them, Kathleen “Blizzard” Kazansky, Natasha “Phoenix” Trace and Robert “Bob” Floyd. They were on the other side of the room with other pilots including Bardley “Rooster” Bradshaw and Jake “Hangman” Seresin. 
It’s been a full week since Maverick got Claudia’s call. He hasn't had any news since. He respects Claudia’s decision. But the idea of having a daughter somewhere and that perhaps he will never meet haunted him. He didn’t tell Penny about Allyson. He didn’t know how to tell her and to be honest, he was afraid of the reaction his girlfriend could have. Penny and Mav took so much time to finally be together. He was terrified at the idea of spoiling everything. 
From his stool he watches Kat playing with the ring she wears around her neck without paying attention. It was Iceman’s Annapolis ring. Kat wears it every time since his death. Even when she is flying, the precious jewel is hiding under her fly suit. Before she launches, she brings the ring to her lips and whispers “fly with me”. Like a little prayer. She doesn’t really need prayer. Kat got the skills from both of her parents : the top graduate of Top Gun 86 promotion : Tom “Iceman” Kazansky; and the first woman ever to graduate from Top Gun : Becca “Blizzard” Morrow. But it was important for her to keep her father close to her. 
Maverick remembers the bond that his wingman got with his daughter. Their complicity, their look for each other. Iceman never misses a ballet show. Kat’s always searching for her father in the crowd. How they mourned Becca when she died. How Ice was so proud to see his daughter being the top graduate of her Top Gun’s promo. 
The answer of “who is the best pilot between Maverick and Iceman” was still a mystery. But about fatherhood ? Iceman wins, definitely. 
“Earth to Maverick !”
Pete was so lost in his thought that he didn’t see Blizzard approach. She has an amusing smile on her lips. 
“Head on the cloud captain ?” “It looks like, lieutenant.” Maverick answers, putting his beer to his lips. Kat sat on the stool next to him and ordered a Vodka with ice. Maverick smiled. She inherited not only her father’s skill but also his taste in drink. “On me” Pete told Jimmy. Kat thanks him. 
“Bradley told me about the girl.” Maverick barely jumps on his stool and looks over his shoulder. Penny was on the other side of the bar. Kat follows his look and her eyes wide. “You didn’t tell Penny ?” Maverick looks back at Kat. He wasn’t suprise that Bradley told her about Allyson. Rooster and Blizzard were like siblings. They became much closer after Ice's death, when Bradley was the only one that understood Kat’s pain.  
“I don’t know how to tell her. It’s complicated.” Kat raises an eyebrow. “complicated ? Given the age you’ve got when you finally end up together, it’s not breaking news that you’ve got a life before her. Just like she got a life before you.” “Yeah but it’s a little strange don’t you think ? A child coming from nowhere twenty-six year later.” Kat burst out laughing. “You are talking to Hangman’s girlfriend ! If tomorrow a woman walks through that door carrying a toddler with blond hair, green eyes and a bloody southern accent, I wouldn’t even be surprised !” She looks away and frowns. “In fact, I’m surprised it’s not already happening.” Mav laughs. “Tell her, Mav. Trust her and tell her.” Mav looks at Blizzard. She looked like her mother except for her eyes. She’s got Iceman’s blue eyes. 
As a woman, she was a mixt of both, her father’s wisdom and her mother’s talent for delivering ego checks. And it was the same way as a pilot. She inherits the cold blood of Iceman. When she is flying, she stays calm no matter the situation. A natural leader. However, she is flying like her mother did. More risky, more on the edge of the abyss. 
A perfect blend of Ice and Storm : Blizzard. 
Maverick nods, he promesses her to tell Penny. Kat put a hand on his shoulder and rejoined the other young pilot. As soon as she was on his side, Kat put her arm on Jake’s waist. Still talking to Bradley, Jake put his arm around Kat’s shoulder and pecked a kiss on her head. 
____________
The Hard Deck, two years ago.
Phoenix's face glowed when she saw her ex Top Gun's roommate enter the bar. "Kat !" She took her friend in her arms as a warm welcome. Bizzard smiled at her friend and before she could ask her some news, she heard an annoying tone. "Well, well, well. Look who's here. Our princess of the sky." Even if she didn't look at him, Blizzard could hear Hangman's smirk. "Well, well, well" she imitated him, her voice as cold as ice. "Bagman." She kicked the pool’s cue he leant on, which hit right on the cocky blond pilot's crotch. Hangman bent in two, hissing of pain. Coyote, Payback, Fanboy and Bob cringed of solidarity pain. 
Blizzard leaned toward Hangman and whispered to him, a smirk on her lips "what did I tell you about the pet name ?"
She greeted Coyote, Payback and Fanboy and looked at the shy pilot. "You should be Bob, aren't you ?" She reached out to him with a warm smile. Bob nervously shook her hand, not used to the young woman's change of mood. "Nice to meet you. I'm Blizzard. Or Kat, for friends." With the last words she sends a dagger look at Hangman who's smirk totally disappears off his face. 
It was at this moment that Bradley Bradshaw chose to make his entrance. All the pilot cheers at him.
Phoenix sent him her cue on his stomach for not telling her he was back in the States. 
"Right in the pocket." Kat mocked softly, giving a high five to Phoenix. Rooster got up and looked at Phoenix. “Nice to see you too.” He turned to Blizzard and opened his arm to put his childhood friend in a bear hug. "Hello, Kitty Kat."
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thebreakfastgenie · 1 year
Note
I am going to take this opportunity (highly appreciated!) to talk about one of my personal favorite things I've written, Campfire.
I started writing this fic in the woods. I was literally in the woods (in Maine of course) and I had left my phone in the car because there was no reception anyway. And this fic just started coming to me in waves. Entire sentences. I was terrified I would forget it before I could write it down. When we went to the car for lunch, I grabbed my phone and quickly put some stuff in the notes app so I wouldn't forget.
And then we got home and my mom wanted to watch that Amazon Prime Cinderella movie and I just wanted to write. Aaaaaaa. So this is all leading into one of the things I'm not totally happy with, and probably why I think technically it's not quite on par with The Emergency Room, which is that I was so eager to get it posted the second half could have been better. It's not bad, but I'm not sure it's up to the first half.
The other thing I'm not entirely happy with is the title. It's fine, but I just went with it because I couldn't think of anything else, which is usually the case with my one-word titles.
The response to this fic was really gratifying, because I wasn't sure to what extent fans of a politics show would put up with what I affectionately thought of as summer camp bullshit. I'd had the image of Josh as a kid talking about his dead sister after being encouraged by a counselor, and everyone reacting uncomfortably, in mind for a long time.
My original vision for the summer camp section, when started writing it in the woods, was much darker. Josh remained a social outcast for the entire summer, and the focus was really on Irving. Irving was originally going to ruffle his hair during the breakfast scene, but I was worried that was too creepy, so I changed it to just a nod. I'm not sure that was the right call.
Before I left the woods, Issac, Barry, and Becca had demanded their existence, and Josh had friends. I looked up several alternative names for Becca, but ended up going back to my first choice. Two boys and a girl felt natural, but of course it mirrors Toby, Sam, and CJ.
I think my favorite part of this fic is the parallelism of "though they leave that part unspoken"/"though he leaves that part unspoken." I had quite a time trying to find books for Josh to read and I never really found one that was the exact level of recognizable I was going for. The little moment of guilt over tossing the bag is the sort of thing I would feel.
I named a kid with some minor significance Aaron, and people probably assumed it was a reference to Aaron Sorkin, but I honestly forgot that was his name. I was just looking for nice Jewish boy names to fill out the camp and it was hard because I didn't want to use names like David and Daniel that already belonged to somebody in the show. Alan from Hoboken is funny in hindsight because shortly afterward I would become obsessed with Alan Alda, famous for living in New Jersey.
"he knows that Cadillacs crash just as often as Chevrolets" I thought about googling the actual safety stats but I didn't. The choice of these two cars as a class signifier is entirely taken from Movin' Out by Billy Joel.
Something I think about a lot with Josh (especially but not exclusively in relation to Toby) is that he comes from a very privileged background, but he still has this major trauma. It's really very Jewish. That's why I wrote the part about "sheltered suburban kids." Then there's this:
What he learns is: they don’t talk about it.
I love this sentence to death in my head. I can hear the pause. I could not figure out how to make it look right. I tried a comma, a semicolon, and a colon, as well as no punctuation and just italicizing the second clause. I finally went with the one I hated least.
The genesis of the second half is that I've long believed CJ was the first of the main characters (aside from Leo, who as a friend of the family likely already knew) that Josh told about Joanie. I'm really invested in their sibling dynamic, and CJ is the one he talks to in The Crackpots and These Women. I had done this one-shot-two-narratives thing before with The Apple, and I really like it!
I'm really happy with this piece of dialogue in this scene:
“I’m sorry," she says, after a moment. “I mean, not I’m sorry. I'm just— I’m sorry seems so trite, but I can’t think of what else to say.” She takes a breath, composes herself. “I’m sorry I don’t know what to say.” Josh forces a sideways smile, wanting to reassure her. “No one does. It’s okay.” “It’s not,” she says. He shrugs, just one shoulder. “Maybe not.”
I wrote this story in September, a month that always gets a little weird and angsty for me as the anniversary of my best friend's death when I was ten approaches, and that definitely found its way into the fic. The details are all fictional, but Camp Greenfern is based on Camp Winnebago, where my grandfather's ashes were scattered.
I'd really like to write more about Josh and CJ, eventually.
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amanda-glassen · 2 years
Note
Fluff 😍
#30. “First Date” feat. Beccarena 🤍
May 2006
“Thanks for staying with me,” Becca told her as they climbed the stairway to the attic. 
Serena climbed each step slowly. If she had learned anything from her history with Becca, it’s that Becca had the power to make her trip over anything. The stairway to the attic was narrow and Serena feared she’d face sudden death if she fell and not just a busted lip like she did on the main stairway.
“I’d rather be here than at the party,” Serena responded, hoping she didn’t sound too desperate. “I mean we went to two parties last week, anyway.” Good save.
Serena was three weeks away from the end of her freshman year, which meant she was also three weeks away from being separated from Becca. More than anyone, Becca had helped her survive her first year at Columbia and her first year of sorority life. Becca had chosen her to be her Lil during the Big Sis/Lil Sis reveal and Serena was on cloud nine knowing that meant the two of them would be spending more time together. She’d think of any excuse to be with her, so when Becca was chosen to host the 50-year reunion for Phi Delta’s class of 1956, Serena immediately volunteered to help with the party planning.
It was difficult to focus when everyone else was at the house, so they opted to stay in on a Friday night when the rest of their sisters were out at a frat party. She had seen photos of what the sorority house and the girls who lived there were like in the ‘50s. It was a decade of elegance and refinement in the Phi Delta house. These women didn’t wear neon tank tops and short shorts in their college days like Serena, Becca, and their sisters did, which made Becca want to plan a party that would impress them and make them proud of the legacy they had left behind.
With one week left until the party, they already placed an order for the food and desserts and bought the decorations. All they needed was the right music. They wanted music from the ‘50s, the kind of songs that the alumnae would have heard when they were at parties or hanging out in the sorority house or while slow dancing with their dates at the annual Phi Delta formal. An iTunes playlist would have been easier, but Becca wanted an authentic sound that could only come from records.
The attic was well-maintained and not the typical dark, dusty attic that Serena imagined it would be. No one stayed in the attic and they never held any meetings there, but the attic housed mementos of decades past, so it was kept clean and organized as a sign of respect for the sisters who came before them.
Becca headed straight to the old record player and the collection of records on the shelf nearby. While she thumbed through them, Serena found a box of mementos in the armoire. There were sorority pins and photographs from the 1950s and, as Serena looked at them, she realized that so much about the sorority had changed yet so much was exactly the same. The clothes and hairstyles were different, but she imagined the conversations they had in this house were exactly the same. They talked about love and broken hearts, final exams and what classes to take, and their dreams for the future. She imagined them staying up all night to talk and listen to music like she did with Becca.
“Beck, come here! Come look at these!”
Becca was in the middle of putting a record on the record player. “I love that scratchy sound of the record player.” She walked over to Serena and put her arms around her waist from behind. “What’s this?”
Serena showed her a strip of black and white photographs that looked as if they were taken in a photobooth. There was a picture of two girls smiling and then two with silly faces followed by the last one-Serena’s favorite-a picture of the two of them kissing. “I guess it takes all kinds.” Serena flipped the strip of photographs over to see the writing on the back. Beverly and Shirley, Coney Island, 1956. “They’re cute, aren’t they? Do you think they were a couple? If so, I hope they stayed together after college and went on to have successful careers and a cute place in Greenwich Village. Do you think they’ll be at the reunion?”
“Serena,” Becca giggled. “It’s moments like this that make it obvious you’ve had a Hollywood upbringing. You have the wildest imagination.”
“You have guys bringing you flowers and practically begging for you to go out with them. I don’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend,” Serena pointed out. “All I can do is live vicariously through other people.”
Becca gave her a quick, sympathetic kiss on the cheek. “Your grandma Caroline was in Phi Delta around this time, right? Have you ever looked through her pictures and other stuff?”
“She pledged in 1948 at Notre Dame,” Serena said nonchalantly. “It was cool that she and my mom gave me their pledge pins at Presents and were part of the ceremony, but I never really took an interest in any of it before joining. It’s all just something I’m forced to do.”
“Yeah, same,” Becca let go of Serena so she could look through other mementos stored in the armoire. “My grandma pledged at Ole Miss in 1951 and my mom in 1974. They wanted me to go there, too, and continue the tradition but like-if it’s between New York and Oxford, Mississippi-I think the choice is obvious.” Becca grabbed an embroidered sweater from the armoire and put it on over her tank top. “In the South, the sorority you’re in practically dictates your social standing and they’re known for being exclusionary.  I mean, some of my grandma’s sorority group photos are with the confederate flag. Grandma still flies that flag from her plantation-style house. My dad is like half white and half Argentinean and I came out with an olive skin tone. I bet you can guess how well that goes over at Grandma’s garden parties.”
“Not very well?”
“Nope, but I’m way hotter than her friends’ granddaughters, so screw ‘em. Or should I say bless their hearts?” Becca said in a fake southern accent that made Serena giggle. “I’m just so glad that I grew up in LA where shit like that just doesn’t fly.”
Becca’s family lived in Bel-Air and Serena’s in Beverly Hills. They had grown up three miles from each other and, ever since she found this out, she had imagined what their lives would have been like had Becca not gone to boarding school in Switzerland and gone to school locally like Serena did. But at least they had each other now and could spend most of the summer together.
“What are you doing this summer?” Becca asked and Serena wondered how long she had zoned out while fantasizing about the two of them sitting poolside or going to the beach. And Becca in a bikini.
“I’m spending July in London with my grandma Maggie,” Serena responded. “I’ll be home in June and August, though. We should hang out.”
“Can’t,” Becca shrugged. “I don’t spend summers at home. The less time I’m around my family, the better. A friend of mine has a flat in Ibiza. I’m going to spend the summer with him.”
“Oh,” Serena continued to flip through the stack of photographs in an attempt at hiding her disappointment.
 A slow song started to play, a song from the ‘50s that encompassed everything Serena was feeling and she wondered what it would have been like to live back then and slow dance to this song or dedicate it to someone on the radio. 
“May I have this dance?” Becca asked and Serena could feel her face getting redder by the second.
“Me?”
“Is there anyone else in this room?”
She expected the two of them to joke around and try to dance the way they did in the ‘50s, but that wasn’t what Becca had in mind. She held Serena close-as close as she possibly could. She could smell Becca’s Ralph Lauren perfume and feel the softness of her hair. It was the perfect song with the perfect girl. She had never seen anyone more beautiful and she doubted she ever would.
Serena wasn’t sure if it was the song or the pictures of their two sorority sisters kissing or maybe a combination of both, but she cupped Becca’s face in her hands and delicately kissed her lips. They were even softer than she had imagined and she would have kept kissing her had Becca not pulled away. 
“Serena…”
“I’m sorry.”
She wanted to turn around and go downstairs, but she felt herself being pulled in by Becca. “Don’t be sorry. I just need to know if you got carried away or if you meant it.”
“Does it matter?” she felt a knot form in her throat when she thought about the guy Becca would be spending the summer with. “I know you’re spending the summer with him.”
“He’s a friend,” Becca reassured her. “His girlfriend lives there, too. There’s absolutely nothing going on between me and him. I like someone else.”
Before she could ask who it was, Becca pressed her lips to hers. The kiss was passionate and possessive and Serena knew it sounded like a cliche, but afterward she felt like it took her breath away. 
“I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time now,” Becca confessed before kissing her again. “You know how…Republican…my family is. They’d disown me for being with a girl, so I can’t-”
“Beck, I get it,” Serena interrupted to save her from having to say it. “And it’s okay.”
“I love you. I really do.”
Serena knew it meant she loved her but she could never officially be with her. “I love you, too.”
She didn’t know what hurt more-unrequited love or having Becca’s love without getting to be with her.
Before bringing the records downstairs, Serena took one last look at the two girls in the picture. Seeing them happy and in love filled her with hope that she’d also get to experience that with Becca someday. I hope you two are still together and I hope the same can be said about Becca and me someday.  
Tagging: @imaginaryoperagloves @kit-kat-kate @myfriendscallmeandy @noitsnotshortformildred
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writerlyhabits · 3 years
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Dinner For Two
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader
Summary: After a long day of work, Bucky is there to help make the end of your day better. Complete with laughing together at the grocery store, wandering down memory lane, and sharing tender moments in the kitchen.
Ch 2 of the Neighbors Series | Masterlist | Ch. 1 | Ch. 3
Word Count: 2.7k
Warnings: mild cursing, great depression era stuff, my family eats a fuck ton of peanut butter but if you don’t like that you can ignore it there’s zero difference, nostalgia? Bucky talks about his family, mention of minor character death (cause bucky’s old), idk I feel like I’m missing something but this is really just some fluff/comfort.
AN: haha back on my bullshit. All my thanks to @deceiverofgodss for helping me struggle through this chapter, I think this final product is like version three? I restarted too many times, but I'm so excited to move on to the next chapter 😂 Please don’t ask me about the Barnes family timeline, I am fully aware that I combined like four different versions of their family together, the wiki pages are confusing and I’m a mess 😅 And if you’re curious about the recipe… no I did not exaggerate, here’s the one I was inspired by. I hope you enjoy!
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“Six fucking pounds… what do you even do with six pounds of noodles?”
Taking Bucky to Costco was the best idea you’d had yet. It had been a long day of work, you still had errands to run, and just the thought of it had been draining. Texting Bucky to see if you could pick anything up for him, you were pleasantly surprised when he offered his company instead. It had definitely made the tiring task more appealing, and you happily accepted.
“You make pasta, Buck,” you giggled, opting for the two-pound box instead. “It’s cheaper this way, and you don’t have to buy it for a while.”
You’d forgotten that Bucky grew up during the Great Depression until he’d walked in and almost immediately looked in awe at a thirty-six count of toilet paper, which was now sitting on the underside of your cart. It was almost like watching a kid in a candy store.
“If my mother could see this, I think she’d lose her mind,” he smiled, shaking his head at some of the contents in the cart you were pushing around the store. “When I was growing up Ma always tried to hide from my sister and I how much of an ordeal it was to go shopping, and she could really only get what little we could afford.” You listened intently, watching as his blue eyes kind of gazed off into nowhere, lost in his memories.
“You’ve never mentioned your sister before,” you stated softly, trying to prompt him to continue; “What was her name?” At the sound of your voice, he looked back up at you, eyes still a little bit lost before he seemed to blink it away. He took a sharp inhale as he stood back up to his full height, coming back to himself.
“Rebecca,” he said fondly. “She was my younger sister. We didn’t see each other much after our parents died, Becca moved out of state to go to school, but we stayed in touch.”
“I’m sorry, Bucky and Becca? That’s adorable,” you giggled, catching yourself looking too long at his sheepish smile, turning your focus to keeping up with his easy strides. “How much trouble did you two get into?” That made him laugh from deep within his belly, a sound you wouldn’t admit you were addicted to.
“We were actually pretty good kids, believe it or not. We were just too stubborn for our own good.”
“I’m sure she’d love to hear that hasn’t changed much,” you poked at him, and he gave you a toothy grin.
“Becca usually was the one keeping me in check, felt like she had to watch over me when Ma wasn’t there.”
“Well, someone has to do it,” you mused. You didn’t catch the way his body relaxed at your playful jab, he was used to hiding his feelings pretty well when he felt the need to.
“See, I was stubborn, but Becca was a fireball. She was headstrong, didn't let anyone tell her what to do, and almost always got what she wanted. God, she was wicked smart too, always top of her class, she could get away with anything,” Bucky rambled, and you were hooked on his every word as he reminisced about his sister and their memories from another time. His face softened a bit as he looked at you, the warm smile on his face making your heart melt. “She would have really liked you.”
“Sounds like I would have liked her too,” you replied quietly, basking in such a sweet moment getting to really know Bucky, adding it to your mental list of his old stories. After a few moments, you watched his smile turn up at the corners. You knew that look … he was about to say something stupid.
“It was funny watching her try to boss me around though, she was just as short as you are,” he threw at you. You rolled your eyes at him, and he just giggled. Cocky shit.
“Well why don’t you and your long arms grab me that thing of peanut butter?” you snarked.
“What do you need three family-sized jars worth of peanut butter for, sweets?” You leaned forward against the cart to make a scrunchy face at him, trying to hide the evidence of how much that nickname made your knees weak.
“What do you need a pound and a half of bacon for, James?” He cocked his head to the side — touche — as he reached up to effortlessly grab what you needed, his shirt lifting slightly in the process, which you absolutely did not look at.
The weight of your day was beginning to lift off of your shoulders, leaving you feeling much lighter as you laughed your way through grocery shopping with Bucky. The cart piled full of your combined findings, some of them being on your list and some things … the two of you just had to have (“How many more henleys do you need, Buck?”). It was one of the reasons you were glad you had decided to take your car to the city with you. You could walk just about anywhere you needed to, but it was also nice not having to carry things three blocks back to your apartment, or having to endure the rain for longer than necessary. You’d had a super-soldier in your passenger seat plenty of times for that exact reason.
“You even listen to jazz in the car?” A retort from the same soldier, always poking fun at your music choices.
“It’s a good station! And I don’t wanna hear anything from you Mr. I only like music from the forties,” you snarked back, deepening your voice to mock him.
“That’s not all I listen to,” he tried.
“Okay, name me one song you’ve listened recently to that wasn’t jazz or as old as you are.” Even though your eyes were on the road, you could see him falter out of the corner of your eye. “I think you only listen to what I make you listen to, I’ve got to start widening your horizon.”
“Alright, when was the last time you listened to something other than jazz.” For this, you gave him a look, your eyebrow raised.
“I listened to Nirvana this morning on my way to work, I was headbanging and all.” This had exactly the effect you were looking for, leaving him to quietly contemplate how he wanted to respond to avoid as much of your slander as possible. “Don’t know who I’m talking about, do you Buck?”
“Okay, moving on,” he said with a scrunchy face, not having quite as much fun when it was his music taste in question. “After roping me into grocery shopping with you…” he started, and you shot him a look to remind him how willingly he volunteered himself before turning back to the road. “What’s your plan for dinner? Making something fancy with your two pounds of noodles?”
“After the day I’ve had, I’m feeling some leftover Mac and Cheese,” you sighed, wanting nothing more than to just collapse on your couch and turn off your brain. “You’re welcome to join me if you want, but it won’t be exciting.”
“Oh god, that’s so disappointing,” he sighed, half laughing at your poor excuse for sustenance. He watched you for a few moments, seemingly contemplating something. You glanced over at him with your eyebrow raised in question. “I’m making dinner tonight,” he said very matter of factly. You had to do a double-take.
“I’m sorry, you’re making dinner? You were just whining-”
“I wasn’t whining, it was a question,” he sassed. “Your answer wasn’t good enough. You had a long day, you deserve more than leftover mac and cheese.”
It was this side of Bucky that you liked the most. You felt like it was really him. He was snarky and stubborn, but just as equally kind and genuine, if not more. In his truest form, when he wasn’t shielding himself from the rest of the world, he was a giver. He was always offering his help, an extra set of hands, a fallback for dinner plans, and when he couldn’t give anything else he gave you his company. The last of which being what you were really after. And while this wasn’t the first time he’d offered to help out after a long day, it brought the same warm feeling to your chest, caught by surprise all over again at his sweet gesture.
“You know you don’t have to,” you reminded him like you always did. “But I wouldn’t tell you no.”
“Then it’s a good thing I’m not asking.” His smile was soft, and you could feel his eyes on you.
“Alright then, what’re you making chef Barnes?”
“I don’t know about chef,” he laughed. “But I’m gonna use some of those noodles of yours for something I used to make in high school.”
“I can’t wait.”
You probably shouldn’t have gotten your hopes so high.
“You’re making what?” Groceries had been divided up and put away, the needle of your record player had been dropped, but before you had a chance to find yourself on the couch you were looking at the assortment of ingredients Bucky had compiled on the counter. Two of which being your noodles, and his bacon.
“Spaghetti and bacon?” he answered like that wasn’t a sentence far more out of its time than he was.
“Do you mean Spaghetti Carbonara?”
“No.” You continued to look with furrowed brows at the man in front of you as he continued adding things to the large pot he’d grabbed from your little kitchen, the bacon pieces already sizzling in the bottom. “Pick your jaw up off the floor sugar, it’s a pretty standard recipe.” You didn’t have to say a word before he stopped himself. “Well… it used to be.”
“I feel like I have to supervise you, make sure this is actually going to be better than my Mac and cheese. Or at least not worse,” you teased, hoisting yourself up to sit on the counter and watch. He gave you a side-eye as he continued his work. “Where’d you even learn this recipe anyway?”
“I used to make it for my mom.” You felt an immediate pang of regret for making fun of the strange recipe. “We all tried to pick up extra work when money got tight; Becca tutored some of the wealthier kids after school, I worked for the gym at the YMCA, and Ma got work at the same hospital as Steve’s mom. One night when it was just us two, I could just tell she was worn thin, more than usual. She was on her feet all day with no reprieve.” He paused for a moment, breaking the noodles up and settling them in to simmer in the concoction he’d made before resting his hands on his hips, keeping his eyes on the pot.
“Becca would get dinner from the other families, pop always took something to the office... I didn’t ask her, I just grabbed the recipe book and found something easy, something we had.” He tried holding back a laugh but it broke through ever so softly, smiling as he turned back up to look in your direction. But you could see in his eyes, Bucky wasn’t really there with you, he was decades away. “I remember the look on her face when I put that bowl in front of her. It was like I’d lifted a weight from her shoulders by taking that one thing off of her plate, it was one of the best feelings.”
You had to try really hard not to let your eyes water any more than they already had, threatening to spill over. Bucky was so gentle, so soft, so caring… your heart broke when you imagined the scene he’d described. You could picture his mother slouched at the dinner table, exhausted from a day at work. You knew the look her eyes must have held, seeing a teenaged Bucky giving back to her in return for all you knew she gave for her family.
That same boy was now a towering man in front of you, doing the exact same thing. Making an easy, comfort meal that, to him, was exactly what a long day of work called for. A meal that you were sure he’d make for his mother countless times if only based on the ease with which he seemed to remember how to recreate it. That the same sentiment that prompted him to make his tired mother dinner had tempted him to do the same for you.
“I know my stories are boring, but you don’t have to cry about it,” Bucky laughed, making the few steps to the counter you were perched on. You tried to laugh it away, but you could feel a tear stream down your cheek when you blinked.
“Stop it,” you started, shaking your head at him. “You know I love your stories.” You were looking up into his bright blue eyes, which were now boring into your soul as he stood much closer than you’d thought he was.
While you had gotten to know Bucky so closely, he’d come to know you just as well. He knew how emotional you were. Hell, you couldn’t watch a movie together without having you wiping your eyes with your sleeve, hoping he wouldn’t see. He’d gotten so lost in his own train of thought, but he should have known this would happen.
“You’re so emotional, doll,” Bucky smiled down at you with amusement, closed in on the space in front of you, even having to part your knees a little to let him in a bit closer. You smiled sheepishly back, trying to look away to avoid the burn of your cheeks adding to the situation. As you started to turn away, his hand came up to your face, cupping your cheek to brush the tears off of your cheek with his thumb.
Oh god, you were in trouble … He couldn’t do this to you, it wasn’t fair. Bucky shouldn’t be allowed to look at you so gently, he shouldn’t be able to hold so much emotion in those goddamn eyes. You didn’t feel real. You felt like you were floating, like everything had faded away except the two of you, his soft hold on your cheek the only thing tying you down to the earth. You could feel his vibranium fingers lightly brushing the side of your leg as he steadied himself on the countertop. How long had he been looking at you like that? Like you look at a piece of art in a museum you don’t quite understand, but you want to try? It felt like both hours had passed, and no time at all.
And in the blink of an eye, it was over.
The timer he had set was going off, startling you both as you each turned towards the stove. Bucky was quick to fish his phone from his pocket, silencing the alarm before removing the pot from its burner, giving you a chance to recompose yourself. You had to tear yourself away from his muscular back to shake yourself. You couldn’t afford to think like that, to be having those feelings…
“Well, if you want some… it’s ready,” he told you sheepishly, placing a set of bowls on the counter beside the pot of steaming pasta. He shoved his hands in his back pockets and seemed like he didn’t know where to look. “But if you don’t want it, I’ll heat you up some mac and cheese.” There was his warm smile again.
You shouldn’t be feeling those feeling, but dammit he made it so hard for you not to.
“If it’s good enough for momma Barnes, it’s good enough for me, hand it over,” you replied, pointing at one of the bowls, your actons earning you a badly hidden chuckle from Bucky as he went to scoop you a helping.
You both admitted it was weird. Worcestershire sauce did not belong in spaghetti; neither did bacon, arguably, but that was by far not the worst part of the dish. And while it was technically better than your plans for leftovers, it wasn’t a dish you felt like you’d be wanting to recreate. But if spaghetti and bacon meant Bucky spilling his thoughts, laughing with you on the couch, and just giving himself to you in his truest form… you would make it again in a heartbeat.
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Masterlist | Ch. 1 | Ch. 3
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homielander · 2 years
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What do you expect/hope to happen with Butcher's arc in S3? With powers in the mix and reeling from the loss from last season, plus Urban's interview comments hinting about a sorta "he who fights monsters" struggle, where do you think he'll end up, a superman or a supervillain?
okay i just wrote all of this and to preface: i apologize in advance because i feel like i went soooo off-track at some points. but i have a lot of thoughts about this and i'm very sorry
so when we left billy at the end of season 2, he was like... surprisingly normal? billy finally ejected the stick from his ass in season 2. he gave up his chance to get becca back by releasing kimiko's brother and allowing him to save hughie. he admitted to himself that he does care about hughie and the rest of the boys. he even acknowledged supes in one way or another -- i'd say he likes kimiko, tolerates annie, might even grudgingly respect maeve, and of course it must have taken a lot out of him to do what he did for ryan after becca's death. the point is that he grew a lot.
helping ryan happened after becca passed away, so the event couldn't have affected his psyche too much? i mean he'd just suffered the loss of his wife (again) and mallory practically handed him a golden ticket to wreak all the havoc he wants on supes. and billy declined. so i'm very curious to see how and why he does a 180 and goes so far as to inject himself with compound v in order to fight supes in season 3. (it's entirely possible that i'm overthinking it and he just didn't want to be constrained by mallory's oversight)
whatever it is that compels him to take up arms again -- we know that billy has always gotten destructive towards himself or others in his quest for revenge. he's needlessly violent and isolates himself from loved ones and loses sight of what's really important. and yet... a key difference this time looks like he'll have the boys working with him at every turn (if the trailer is any indication). we also only see him go after a supe who has been implied by the seven on seven news stories to be kind of shady, so we can assume it's with good reason. and if leaks are anything to go by (potential spoilers ahead!!! you've been warned. stop reading, seriously, skip to the next paragraph), then he's not going to be dropping everything to run off and fight homelander either.
that is to say... fighting supes and vought isn't inherently a bad thing. it's just that the way he's gone about it thus far has been stupid. he’s refused to really confide in anyone and he’s been impractical. he's looked at homelander as the ultimate evil, which, given what he and his wife went through at homelander's hands, isn't at all wrong, but it is shortsighted. i think billy picked up on that a bit during his conversation with vogelbaum in season 2. (also, even billy's new enhanced power set is probably not going to be enough to take on homelander (at least i hope not. that would blow), so diverting his focus to other supes also makes sense plot-wise.) if this series is going to have any meaningful ending at all, homelander is not going to be treated as the Big Bad -- vought is. (homelander will die at the end and that's fine and necessary, but killing him means nothing if they don't dismantle the organization that created him. especially when vought is capable of just producing another homelander.)
anyway, i think billy is going to learn that this season, and he'll be a bit more selfless and pragmatic in the battles he chooses. my hope is that he will be a force for constructive change! maybe becca's death will inspire him to live in a way she would have wanted -- not that he could stop fighting, i don’t think, but at least he won’t kill himself in the process. billy becoming superman is farfetched because it's billy, and i don't doubt that he'll make mistakes along the way, but at this point in the series i really can't see him snapping and devastating everything and everyone in his path, even with his newfound powers and recovering from his wife's death.
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Character Deaths
“Hi! I love that I found your blog!
Little bit of a dark request, do you have a prompt list for character deaths?”
Hi, hi! I didn’t, but I’ll sure make you one! Here are 10 prompts for character deaths.
TW: DEATH (But I think that was a little obvious)
“It’s a- a little cold in h-here, right?” She asked, fingers shaking as she bled out on the bathroom floor. There was blood, too much blood; everywhere, on everything. He pulled her closer, trying not to cry too much as he felt the last of her energy drain from her fingertips. “Y-yeah, I-I guess so. J-just... don’t worry, it’ll be okay soon. I promise.”
She turned to him sharply at the sudden noise, watching as the colour drained from his face and the pain shot through him, “N-no,” She couldn’t quite believe it was that easy to die, briefly wondering when exactly she’d started taking life for granted, “No! No, no, no...”
He knew it would end this way, there was no other way for it to end, but somehow he’d tricked himself into believing he wouldn’t be alone after all this, “I- I don’t think I’m ready for you to leave me just yet. Not like this.”
Unexpected surprises were her least favourite sort of thing. That’s why she faltered when answering the phone to the receptionist at the hospital, “Miss Fraser? You’re the emergency contact for Miss Lucinda Grace, yes? I think it best you come and visit her- as soon as possible, miss, it won’t be long now.”
He wasn’t exactly sure how many times he’d had someone die like this, in front of him, eyes devoid of emotion. He’d hated it the first time and nothing had changed, even now. Sometimes he wondered what they were thinking in their last moments, did they know they were dying? Did they know that in less than three minutes or so, their time of death would be called and they’d be a name on a piece of paper?
Killing hadn’t been an option, even from the start, but now they had a dead body on their hands, “Well, I didn’t do it, so I’m not helping.” “It might not have been your fault, but it doesn’t make you any less involved!” “Yeah, there’s still blood on your hands.” “No there’s not! Because I didn’t do it!” “I meant literally, there’s blood on your hands, go clean up.”
She paced the room, trying her best not to cry; no tears, Hannah, I don’t like to see you cry at the best of times, he’d said to her, years before any of this had even started. She knew there wasn’t long for him, she knew he was only going to be in pain if they kept him in here, strung up to a million machines, but she was selfish. She was selfish enough to keep him alive all this time, so what was a few days more?
“If you’re going to kill me, please do it quickly.” He asked, a smirk plastered on his lips once the gag was removed. His eyes were bruised, vision blurry from the hits, “You really think I’m going to be so kind as to kill you quickly after everything you’ve done?” He closed his eyes, trying to tune out the voice in front of him, “No, darling, death is a reward and you haven’t been good.”
“Don’t look at me like that.” She said weakly, lips twitching upwards into a half smile. “Like what?” She asked in return, playing with their joined fingers on her chest, “I’m looking at you normally.” “No, you’re looking at me like I’m a kicked puppy. You can’t save everyone, Timea, you have to let me go.”
The first thing she saw when she opened her eyes was smoke. Smoke and dust and rubble. Her foot was in an awkward position and the weight on her arm was not nearly light enough for her to push off. “Rebecca? Becca? Look at me...” Came a voice from beside her. She looked over, meeting Jonathon’s gaze, a sudden rush of relief overcoming her, “That’s it, you’re okay, you’re going to be fine.” He said through gritted teeth, trying his best not to wince. He wasn’t about to tell her that he’d been clipped by a bullet in the ribs.
They’re not great, I’m going through a bit of a block myself which is really annoying since I actually have time to write now that my exams are over... Hopefully it’ll pass! It’s good to be back on this blog, regardless. All my love xox
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writing-in-april · 3 years
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Spooks
Raymond Wadsworth X Female Reader
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Summary: Raymond starts sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong at the next haunting he’s investigating.
A/N: Hey heyyy- here’s my second fic for my 30 fics in 30 days for April 2021!!! I had this spur of the moment idea in the middle of the night and ended up writing a pretty long fic for it (at least long for me lol) I had a lot of fun writing it and really liked the idea- I hope you all enjoy it too! Drop something in my ask box here if you’d like!! I’m always looking for feedback and my requests are open as well! Thanks for reading!!!
Warnings: 18+, Ghosts & poltergeists, Smut, Sub Raymond, Unprotected sex, Sex in a car, Slight cum play
Main Masterlist Word count: 3.2k
Your job description wasn’t an easy one to describe, you could say Mulder and Scully would be the most accurate equivalent. Though as with all tv shows it was portrayed with a set of rose tinted glasses, giving a filter to any realities you faced on the job.
You and your department preferred to call yourselves spooks, truthfully only because the pun was funny. In reality your 8 person department were called agents just like the rest of the FBI, you guys were just more secretive than the others.
Most of the time you ended up getting handed the short straw when getting new cases as you were still the newest on the team, despite being there for several years already. Unlike most professionals in law enforcement you did not have a partner, it only slowed you down. Every place that you were scheduled to decontaminate was an in and out procedure streamlined for effectiveness, adding another body to be hyper vigilant about was a hassle. You operated alone.
Any type of paranormal phenomena that you could think of was thrown in front of you. In your opinion the cases you had the most fun on were the ones that dealt with aliens, though some ghosts could be fun on occasion. The most recent case I had to deal with was a nasty poltergeist, the worst type of ghost. They always wreaked the most havoc on whatever house or place they occupied.
The family in this house had moved out a while ago, the request to decontaminate the home had been sitting on one of your supervisors for a while. It was an old house, built around the late 1800s. Old enough that it had a bunch of unnecessary rooms, like the parlor room that you found yourself trapped in.
And, you weren’t on your own either. Trapped with you was a man with fluffy brown hair flying in any direction, his eyes a darker shade of brown that were filled with fear- yet also curiosity. He was wearing a blue romper, it looked good on him, from what you had seen while you were frantic. But, you highly doubted that it would be effective clothes for a paranormal investigation, maybe he had just stumbled across this place out of curiosity. Either that or he was the type of an inexperienced investigator who had probably had one encounter with a ghost. It did not change that he was cute though.
“I’m a paranormal investigator- uhh technically a supernatural detective! My name’s Raymond! Who are you?!” He sputtered out, ranting probably to try to push aside his fear. You were standing side by side holding the double doors of the entrance to the parlor room, pushing them down to prevent the poltergeist from ramming it down and attacking us.
“Not important!” You snapped back at him, throwing a glare at him. Even if it wasn’t such a tense situation, you weren’t supposed to give away your identity or your job description to just anyone.
With another gasping breath he asked another question, even though you hadn’t answered his first inquiry, “I came with a girl, her name’s Becca- did you see her?”
This one you would bother to answer as he was quite obviously worried about the well being of his companion, “I may have seen her speed away in a red car after she was thrown out of the house. Was that your car she took?”
Not that you really cared all that much, but if he had been stripped of his transportation by his partner you’d have to take him in your own car. Not that you really wanted to, you still would have to help him even though he was seriously hindering your decontamination. “No, I came in my own car.” He answered which made you breathe a sigh of relief, you wouldn’t have to deal with another issue after you escaped, “I don’t blame her honestly, if I could leave I would.”
You were about to answer when your pressure on the doors wasn’t enough, making you both stumble forward. When you stumbled forward your keys, along with your badge, fell out of your pocket. Your badge flipped open front and center to reveal your name, plus the exact agency you worked for in a bold logo.
“You’re an FBI agent?!” You could not confirm or deny what he had asked, you were firmly focused on scrambling to get your things and avoid the ghost that was now throwing furniture at the two of you.
When Raymond finally took notice of the being that was pelting heavy objects around you, a ghostly shape in the form of a woman with a tortured look on her face, he screamed bloody murder. It was not unlike that of a scooby doo cartoon, him obviously resembling Shaggy almost perfectly. If only he had a dog to jump into his arms before he comically zoomed away while remarking “zoinks!”
His frazzled response to the ghosts giving a rather mediocre jump scare made you wonder whether he had the credentials to back up his job title as a paranormal investigator- or as he called it a supernatural detective. You racked your brain to try and recall anytime you had seen a Raymond or a Becca on the long lists of people that were being monitored for potential involvement, coming up with nothing. Well, maybe they were new, as his reaction seemed to indicate.
Your own reaction was stoic as usual, your nerves no longer jumped and your heart no longer quickened to the visage of a ghost trying to spook you. It was in no doubt for some arcane reason probably linked to revenge towards people that no longer existed. One would normally say don’t assume anything about people, that it might offend them to assume, but dead people in your view also had dead opinions- plus relying on precedent was usually a good option when a ghost might be trying to kill you. Despite the absence of fear from you there would be no call out of “Let’s split up gang!” either. It was you mostly not wanting to explain to your employer how you lost a citizen in the middle of this place and- besides that you couldn’t deny that you didn’t want him to die no matter how much undeniable extra trouble he was causing.
“Let’s go.” Your voice was firm, no discernible room for argument or questions.
Raymond somehow found a way to wriggle in to asking yet another question, “Where are we going?”
You yanked his hand out of the room that you think might’ve been a parlor room back in it’s day. You shouldn’t have bothered to answer as it would breed more questions from him, you already gave away too much about who you are and what you do. Any extra questions you answer from him was just creating a bigger breach in your security. Yet you found yourself justifying an answer, his eyes that were probably pulled into an adorable curious look laced with fear bored into the back of your skull as you dragged him out of the room and to the nearest exit. It was only a harmless question, it didn’t even have a satisfying answer, “Anywhere but here!”
Weaving my way through the house that was better characterized as a maze was hard to navigate through. At every turn some sort of iteration of the poltergeist tried to capture us, to pull us into death with it.
The two of us did eventually find the front door, only to find that we could not pull it open, the handle was stuck.
“Step back!” You shouted at Raymond to get him to move out of the way while you prepared to kick the door down. He skittered over to be right behind you, looking over his shoulder in paranoia. You used your right foot to kick the door, using all the leg strength you could muster. After three kicks, the door burst open, letting you both free.
Scurrying quickly to your government given work vehicle, looking back for a second to make sure that Raymond was following you. You couldn’t let a civilian die here, no matter how much of a nuisance he was, and he was cute of course.
Pulling out the last resort from the trunk of your car, gasoline, you then shoved a container of it to your unexpected companion.
“Cover as much of the house as you can!” He made no argument with your plan, running right behind you back up to the house to cover it all in gasoline. Once you had both covered it as much as possible you made sure Raymond was standing back before you lit your lighter and chucked it into the wood wet with the accelerant.
As soon as you could confirm with your eyes that the house had sparked with fire, you grabbed Raymond’s arm again to drag him to your car, not even caring about the one he had come here in. You basically threw yourself into the driver's seat, starting to drive away immediately after Raymond had sat down, before he had even shut the side door.
Adrenaline was coursing through your veins, causing your heart to pound hard enough that it felt like it could burst out of your chest. It was not unusual in your field of work, to feel death brush right by you.
“My car?!” Raymond screamed, his body turned so he was looking out of your back window.
“Sorry no time to go back! The U.S government will reimburse you for that- maybe…” You said quickly, while trying to step harder down on the gas pedal to speed away.
The house behind you was burning so bright from you could hear the crackling from the house turning to ash. You imagined that the flames and smoke were big enough to be seen for miles, considering how much accelerant you poured on it. So much for being subtle, your boss was definitely going to chew you out for that.
When you had gained a sufficient enough distance away from the flames you pulled off into a parking lot adjacent to a park. Pulling into the parking space fast you then hit the brakes hard, jostling you two a bit.
Taking a deep breath you slumped forward to rest your head on your steering wheel, just for a moment of relaxation.
“You know burning it down won’t necessarily get rid of it.” You only grunted in response to his matter of fact statement. Your lack of response seemed to make him even more anxious, tapping his fingers on any surface that was around him to preoccupy his mind while you took your breather. He tried to fill the silence that was making him uncomfortable, “So what do you actually do?”
You sighed deeply against the steering wheel one last time, then leaning off of it to sit back in the seat. You decided that you might as well give him a small morsel of information that may satiate his curiosity, “That’s highly classified, but you could probably figure it out.”
His insistence to bring up what your job is was making your insides twist with anxiety. You were already dreading what would happen when you got back to the office. It would be a lot of paperwork to explain everything that happened, plus you’d have to submit an application on behalf of Raymond to get his car reimbursed.
The adrenaline that had spiked in your veins born out of fear was still present. It was overwhelming, and you felt the need to use it for something different than wallowing in your fear.
You redirected your gaze to fixate on Raymond, who could surely help you redirect your adrenaline. He was an attractive man, who’s personality did help make him even more desirable. Even though he was a pain in your ass, he was a cute and funny one.
His own eyes were fixated on yours as well, with a different look than what you had seen earlier. His eyes were deepened with lust, not fear, though there was still an ounce of curiosity in them- probably still wondering who exactly I was.
Grabbing the hairs at the back of his neck you then pulled him forward to crush your lips onto his. He reciprocated immediately, though did not try to challenge your dominance over the kiss. He let you slip your tongue into his mouth, exploring him with diligence.
You wanted him closer to you, feeling every inch of him. So you swung your legs over his lap as best you could with the space you had to straddle him. When you did so you barely let his lips come off your own, too greedy to let them separate from yours.
A thought however was nagging you in the back of your head as you continued to melt yourself into the kiss, he had mentioned a companion that he had been worried about earlier. You did not want to step on any toes, nor endorse any type of cheating. You separated your lips from his own, even though you wanted nothing more than to envelop him in another kiss.
“This ok with you?” Your words were said right into his lips, mingling your breath with his, “You’re not with that Becca girl are you?”
“Not anymore- and yes I’m totally ok with this.” He confirmed before surging up to meet his lips with your own again. You wasted no time in starting to grind your hips onto his cock that was swiftly growing underneath his shorts. Just from grinding you could feel how large he was, even through a couple of layers.
He moved his hands to the button of your pants when you moved your lips to start nipping and sucking on his neck and jaw. You tried to kick off the articles of clothing on your lower half, panties included, without removing your lips from him. Unfortunately you had to do so because of the amount of space. You cursed under your breath, wishing that the government had paid to give you a larger vehicle.
You were already slick with arousal, also aided by sticking your fingers into his mouth to get them sufficiently wet. He bobbed his head up and down on them eagerly until you were satisfied. Removing them from his mouth you ran them up and down along your slit, getting you even more wet.
You guided his length to your entrance, not sinking down immediately. You undulated your hips so his length was coated with your arousal as well. When he bucked his hips in impatience you just pushed them down back into the seat. Then you leaned down to whisper into the shell of his ear to be patient- he’d get what he wanted.
“Fuck me.” Was all Raymond could muster up to whimper when you sunk down onto his cock, his head falling back to hit the headrest. You wasted no time in starting a fast pace, bouncing up and down on him with vigor. Raymond grabbed onto your hips when he couldn’t find anything else to hold onto, digging his fingers into your hips hard enough to leave bruises.
His large cock bumped up against your cervix in the most pleasurable way possible as you swivel your hips over him. Your own head tilted back, your mouth opened wide to let out a loud moan when his cock hit a particularly pleasurable spot inside you. You also felt the need to hold onto something as your release began to build inside you, getting ready to snap. So you grabbed onto the best thing you could find, running your hands through his hair and pulling on his strands.
One of his hands then moved to toy with your clit,his movements were a bit fumbled, but it swiftly made your orgasm start to crest. You were almost disappointed about how quickly this was going to be over, you however couldn’t deny that it felt amazing even with the frantic pace. In the back of your mind you couldn’t help but imagine all the other things you could do to Raymond if you were given the chance.
You fell apart above him, your eyes rolling back into your head. The adrenaline still coursed through your veins, and it felt good to have it redirected to a pleasurable experience instead of fear. You kept yourself impaled on his cock for a bit after your orgasm had finished, relishing at the feeling of him inside you.
Slipping out of him was a little bit awkward because of how cramped the space was. Once his cock slipped out of you, both of you groaning at the loss of him inside of you, you wrapped your hand around his length. You started to pump him slowly in your hands, taking your time compared to earlier. Your adrenaline had abated a bit and now you wanted to see how long you could drag this out, in case you never got the chance to again.
However, It still didn’t take much movement from your hands for him to get close, he was already close to the edge from being inside you. His hips bucked up into your hands a bit before he begged, “C-can you put- your hands- around my throat?”
“Should’ve known you’d be into that.” You snarked back a bit in response to his plea. Your tone had no sympathy for him, making him obviously think that you weren’t going to oblige him by the look in his eyes. That look of pure desperation in his eyes, with his kiss swollen lips, and his curls disheveled made you buckle. He groaned loudly when you put your free hand around his neck. You only applied a small amount of pressure, but that was all Raymond needed for him to cum all over your hand.
Once you had helped him ride out his own orgasm you removed your hand from his neck and his cock. You did need to clean up the hand that was covered in his thick ropes of cum, so you brought it up to your mouth to lick it clean.
“Fuck me…” Echoing his previous words, this time with an even bigger whimper. After you had cleaned yourself and him up enough to be decent you flung yourself back to sit in the driver’s seat again.
Raymond was silent for a minute, which seemed odd if you were going off of what little experience you had with him so far. Though maybe he was still going through his post orgasm relaxation just as you were. He then broke the silence, by asking the same question again, even though you had wanted to answer it just about 30 minutes ago. You’d bet money on the reason that he kept asking, being that each time that you answered you gave him a small hint, “Will you tell me now what you actually do?”
“Maybe- if you get to know me better.” You turned the key to start the engine again then asking with another hint as to what your job was, “Consider this your lucky day, you’ve got a spook as your chauffeur. Now, where next Raymond?”
—-
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slaylinski · 3 years
Text
5 Times Something Almost Happened And 1 Time It Did
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Pairing: Sam x Bucky (AU) 5+1
Word count: 8704
Warnings: angst, major character death (mentioned), grief, miscommunication, Sambucky can be absolutely idiots sometimes, mutual pining, fluff, happy ending
Prompt: Sam and Bucky are obviously in love with each other, but each secretly thinks the other is the boyfriend of their recently deceased friend (Steve) and that they should respect the bro code. 
A/N: So, I recently saw that prompt on IG and since there is no fanfiction out there that covers that I decided to write one myself. Prepare yourself for some misunderstandings, angst, grieving and sambucky fluff!
btw, shoutout to @januarystears and @gwen-novella for being my beta reader and emotional Marvel supporters🥰💕
Please be aware that English is not my first language.  
1
Bucky was looking at the tombstone in front of him, still not able to process what happened the last few days. Steve Rogers was his childhood best friend. He remembered them being 5-year old’s trying to steal some of the cookies his mother had baked; he remembered Steve calling him at 3am on a Sunday, crying and telling him about his mother‘s car accident, the one that had made him an orphan. He remembered his parents not even hesitating for a second before they took Steve in. 
And now Steve was gone. And everything Bucky had left were a few memories that were already starting to fade.
Since his parents were dead not many people came to Steve’s funeral. A few friends he had met in Chicago, Bucky’s family and of course Sam Wilson. 
After he and Steve had finished college, Steve had gotten an amazing job offer in Chicago and since Bucky had decided to stay in New York, they had had to adapt to not being able to see each other every day. They had still managed to see each other monthly, most of the times Steve coming to New York, since Bucky’s family, meaning Steve’s family, was still in New York as well. And every time they had visited each other Steve had talked about Sam. Every damn time. Bucky had felt like he already knew the other man. Obviously, he had been happy that Steve had found a boyfriend in Chicago.
Since Bucky was bi and Steve had been gay, they had had a few first times together. From having their first kiss with each other to some things he was not going to mention here. They had tried to make their relationship work, but ultimately decided they were better off as friends. Since then they had not really talked much about their relationships. The only thing that had mattered to Bucky had been that Steve was happy and the way he had talked about Sam had made Bucky realize that he had been happy.
“You okay, man? “ Bucky looked to his left and stared into a pair of brown eyes.
“Yeah, I am okay," he said quietly, which was far from the truth. He still could not believe that Steve was dead.
“I am Sam, Sam Wilson," Sam introduced himself to Bucky, which made the latter chuckle. “Yeah, I already know that. Steve talked about you, a lot," Bucky tried to smile but his eyes were still focused on the tombstone in front of him.
“You know, it is a shame that he never introduced us," Sam said.
“It really is, but I feel like I already know you from all the stories Steve told me about you. I am glad he had someone in Chicago who took care of him. I am sorry for your loss," Bucky felt terrible. He felt like he could not breathe, like drowning but not being able to swim to the surface.
“I am really sorry too, Bucky," Sam whispered. Bucky barely remembered the next few hours. They went to the Barnes house for a funeral service. He saw his sister Becca who tried not to cry but miserably failed, he met his parents’ eyes. His mom was silently crying, and his dad wore sunglasses, trying to hide his swollen eyes as well. To his parents it was like they had lost one of their children. To Becca and him it was like they had lost their brother. And Bucky could not even imagine how hard it was for Sam to lose his boyfriend, his significant other, the person he wanted to grow old with. However, Sam looked more pulled together, like he tried his best not to cry in front of Bucky. Which Bucky understood, it was not like they knew each other very well.
“Do you want something to eat?" Sam asked and tried to feed Bucky some of the cake that was sitting on the kitchen counter. It was one of the many cakes people had brought over to the Barnes house after they had found out about Steve’s death. Everybody had loved Steve Rogers and it was a real shock to them that he had died at such a young age. Bucky, however, did not feel like eating. He felt like sleeping. Like the kind of sleep that makes you forget reality, the one that comforts you. He had not slept for the last couple of days, he was afraid of dreaming, afraid of dreaming and waking up. Afraid that his mind was going to dream about Steve and then him waking up and realizing that it was only a dream and that he was really gone.
“No, thanks. Do you want something?" Bucky asked but Sam shook his head. It was the first time that Bucky took a closer look at Sam Wilson. He was a little bit shorter than Bucky. His brown eyes were warm, and they looked worried, and Bucky felt like Sam was as close to breaking down as he himself was but tried to hold it together. The longer he looked at Sam, the more he understood Steve when he had talked about how warm Sam's eyes were or how good his smile looked. Sam was exactly the type of guy Bucky would go for. Sam tried to comfort him, and Bucky did not understand why. It was not like he had lost his boyfriend. He had lost his best friend, which was pretty hard as well, but not as hard as what Sam was going through now.
“Sorry, I need to get out of here,” Bucky told Sam and rushed out of the house.
The Barnes house was pretty small, barely enough room for two children, but they had squeezed together when Steve had moved in. The backyard had a small garden. A bench facing the giant cherry tree Bucky and Steve used to climb up.
Bucky felt his lip tremble and sniffed. He was all alone now. Steve was gone and there was nothing he could change about that. He felt a tear slipping down his face and tried to wipe it away with his shirtsleeve, but his stupid shirt was too tight, and he could not reach his eyes, and everything was just stupid.
A few moment later his vision was blurred with tears and he tried hard not to sob. It was horrible. He had not even realized that Sam had followed him outside until he felt a hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. “Hey, it’s going to be alright, Bucky,” he said and tried to calm him down. The second he noticed Sam; Bucky felt like shit. Sam had just lost his boyfriend and Bucky was out here crying and not even thinking about Sam for a second.
“I’m sorry,” Bucky looked at Sam. “I just… I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now and I-,” he tried to continue but Sam interrupted him.
“If you try to apologize for having feelings, Barnes, I am going to throw you into your neighbors’ pool,” Sam pointed to his right to the swimming pool next to them. “I’m not joking. I don’t know what Steve told you about me, but I’m a man of my word,” Sam laughed. Bizarrely, Bucky laughed as well, like a real laugh, not the ones you fake to seem polite.
“You know, he would’ve hated that,” Bucky declared.
“What? “
“Us here, moping around. He would have wanted his funeral to be party. Has he ever told you about the first years of his life?”
Sam shook his head.
“When we were younger, Steve used to be sick, like all the time. He had the worst allergies and asthma and everything you could possibly imagine. Some winters were hard, there were times when he was in the hospital for week.
Then one time he had this stupid idea to plan his funeral because somehow in his 10-year-old brain he was thinking that he was going to die. And me, being the other 10-year-old, agreed to that so we were in that chapel and he was reading a text that he’d written and playing some weird ass song he’d found on his Mp3 player and then we were all mushy and crying. A couple of weeks later he was home again. A few years after that, he got his height boost and most of his allergies were gone and he became the Steve you know,” Bucky hadn’t even realized that he was crying again but it was a weird combo of crying and laughing.
“God, I miss him so much already,” he sniffed.
“So, Steve Rogers would’ve wanted a party for his funeral? “Sam grinned, and Bucky couldn’t help but start to notice Sam’s laugh. The way his eyes crinkled and the way his whole body moved when he laughed.
“We’re going to get through this, Buck. I promise,” Sam put his arm around Bucky and patted his shoulder.
“You know, you can always call me if you want to talk,” this was the first time that Bucky saw that Sam had tears in his eyes as well. Sam quickly looked in a different direction but left his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky was not mad that Sam called him ‘Buck ‘, he felt horrible. He was a horrible person. His best friend had just died and all he could think about was how badly he wanted to kiss his best friend’s boyfriend.
 2
Sam Wilson was fairly sure that Bucky Barnes was one of the strongest people he had ever met. He could not even imagine what it must feel like to lose his boyfriend. Well, until the funeral, Sam hadn’t been quite sure if Bucky really had been Steve’s boyfriend because even though he had known Steve for more than 4 years, he still did not remember one woman or one man that Steve had ever mentioned with as much enthusiasm as he had radiated when talking about Bucky. So, it was kind of weird to Sam that they had only visited each other occasionally and still hadn’t been living together after so many years, but he hadn’t wanted to ask why. It was not his business anyways.
Even though he did not know much about Steve Rogers’ love life, he considered him one of his best friends if not his best friend. Therefore, it was hard on him to have lost Steve so suddenly. He had never heard of somebody dying of an asthma attack. Especially someone who hadn’t had one in more than ten years. He remembered Bucky’s call and nearly dropping his phone. Bucky’s parents had been Steve’s emergency contacts, so it was unsurprising that they, and thus Bucky, had gotten notified first.
He had been in the middle of cooking dinner for him and Steve, since they were sharing a flat. It was not like they were poor or not earning enough money, it was more about not being alone and being able to save up a bit for the future. None of them minded living with a roommate, though.
After the call he had travelled to New York to attend Steve’s funeral. It was not how he’ imagined his first trip to New York and it certainly wasn’t the way he had wanted to meet the famous Bucky Barnes. After the death of Steve’s parents when he’d been a teenager, Bucky’s family had been all he’d had left.
Sam had felt a little anxious, and even though two of his and Steve’s friends, Wanda and Pietro, had come with him, he still felt like an intruder. He still could not believe that Steve was really gone.
He recognized Bucky immediately. He had seen a lot of picture over the years and even met him one time via face time but that could not have prepared him for what he saw the first time he looked into Bucky’s eyes.
Even though he was on the verge of crying, he looked like one of the most beautiful men Sam had ever seen, and the second he thought of that Sam wanted to slap himself. He felt like the worst person on earth. His best friend had just died and all he could think about was how good-looking his boyfriend was. He was going to end up in hell.
For the next couple of days Sam felt numb. Bucky kindly invited him to stay over at his flat in New York, so Sam didn’t have to bother booking a hotel room or anything like that.
Since his boss had known Steve as well but could not attend his funeral due to business, he kindly gave Sam two paid weeks off. Sam was not sure how he was going to handle going back to the flat he shared with Steve. He already felt lonely and was not sure if he could handle throwing out Steve’s stuff.
But right now, he was thinking about a lot of different things, for example about Bucky, who was sitting right in front of him, eating a bagel for breakfast.
Bucky’s flat was not what Sam expected. After living together with Steve Rogers for nearly three years, he thought that he knew the way Steve liked to live. Pretty messy was an understatement. His room looked like it belonged to a messy 3-year-old. Bucky’s flat however was completely clean. So clean that Sam would not have been bothered eating off the floor. The thought of Bucky constantly reminding Steve to put away his stuff made him laugh.
“What’s so funny?” Bucky looked at him curiously and swallowed the last bit of his bagel.
“Oh, nothing,” Sam tried hide his grin.
“Hey, that’s not fair. Tell me,” Bucky protested but he was smiling as well. The pretty smile, the one that made Sam’s heart flutter. He quickly put that thought aside.
“Well, you knew Steve better than me and when I see how clean your flat is all I can think about is how messy ours used to look.”
That made Bucky laugh as well. “You know, I asked myself the same question. Do you remember when you were on that business trip? That time I visited Steve, and it was the first time I saw your flat and I was shocked how clean it actually looked. Not that Steve was a messy, but I’m amazed how you managed to get along with him not putting his stuff everywhere.”
“Well at least he tried with you, whenever he was coming home, he just threw his jacket on our couch and went into the bathroom,” Sam laughed. `
“Yeah, he tried his best whenever he visited me,” Bucky answered.
‘Perks of being the boyfriend, Sam thought but didn’t say it out loud. He did not want to upset Bucky and tried to talk as little about Steve as possible, only referring to him when Bucky told him a story about them.
“You know what, Sam?” Bucky asked after they put away the dishes from their late breakfast. “I’m done sitting here and moping around. I need to get out of here, get some fresh air.”
“Do you have something in mind?” Sam looked at him. It was weird, even though he never met Bucky in person he felt like he already knew him. Steve used to talk about him all the time, mentioning him even when he was talking about the most unnecessary things. At first Sam thought it was cute, but after a while it kind of annoyed him. However, Bucky really was as great as Steve had described him. In the last days he got to know him and found out that he was one of the most generous and humble persons he had ever met.
“I actually do. I have been craving ice cream ever since I saw that Ben and Jerry’s commercial last night and thought that we could go to the Central Park,” Bucky suggested.
“Sound great. Let me get my jacket and I am good to go”.
They each grabbed their phones, wallets and jackets. Bucky stuffed his keys into the pocket of his leather jacket. Sam could swear that Bucky had at least five different versions of the same leather jacket in different colors.
Bucky’s flat was close to the Central Park since he lived in Manhattan. Sam was not quite sure what kind of job Bucky had but it must have been paying really well if he could afford living that close to the city.  They didn’t talk much while walking to the park, but Bucky took the time to show Sam some of Steve’s favorite spots, for example his favorite coffee shop. Whenever they walked past a shop or cafe Steve used to like, Sam knew immediately because Bucky tensed up.
Obviously, Sam had never been to the Central Park in New York and he had only ever seen it on pictures so far, so he was surprised how big it actually was. There were a lot of children, parents and young people walking around. A couple of them were inline skating or even skateboarding. It was a sunny afternoon, which made for a crowded park.
“What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?” Bucky asked him after they sat down on a free bench they found.
“Pretty much any ice cream flavor,” Sam laughed.
“You know, that was Steve’s answer to that question as well. He ate pretty much every flavor of ice cream I bought so I always had to hide it or buy an extra pack,” Bucky smiled but his eyes looked sad.
Sam wasn’t sure what he could do to make him feel better. And the worst was that he was still thinking about how good-looking Bucky was. “Just surprise me, okay?”
Bucky nodded and quickly walked away to the nearest ice cream van.
Sam leaned against the bank and closed his eyes. His mind was still trying to process Steve’s death. When he was younger his dad had died, and his mom had made him go to a therapist for a couple of months. The woman had told him about the five different stages of grief, and Sam was sure he was still stuck in denial. He just couldn’t imagine his life without Steve Rogers, and he still did not know how he would manage living on his own. He might get a different flat, one that was smaller.
His thoughts were interrupted by Bucky, who returned, carrying two ice cream cones in his hands. There were at least three scoops of chocolate ice cream on each one. Sam’s eyes grew big once Bucky settled the ice cream into his hand.
“I thought we might as well treat ourselves,” he only stated and started eating his ice cream.
If there was something worse than having the hots for your dead best friend’s boyfriend, it was watching his so-called boyfriend licking ice cream.
He quickly looked away and stared at the ice cream in his hand, which was slowly starting to melt.
“You know, I bought this for you so you could eat it. Not watch it melt, but you do you,” Bucky raised his eyebrows and looked at the ice cream that was slowly dripping around the cone.
“Yeah, of course. Is it a coincidence that you chose chocolate because it is Steve’s favorite ice cream or is it your favorite flavor as well?” Sam asked curiously.
“You got me there. It’s my favorite ice cream flavor, too. So now you know why I had to hide my secret ice cream stash in the freezer whenever Steve came around,” Bucky laughed.
They were quietly eating their ice cream when Bucky stood up all of a sudden and grabbed Sam’s hand. Bucky’s hand was warm, warmer than Sam had imagined. The former quickly pulled him to his feet and Sam felt himself blushing. Hopefully, Bucky didn’t see that.
“Come on, we are going to see the ducks,” Bucky shouted and ran to the lake that was in the middle of the park. Sam just laughed. Sometimes he felt like Bucky was still ten years old and not 28. He followed Bucky and found him a few seconds later, throwing the last crumbs of his ice cream cone to a little duck family that was quickly picking up the crumbs.
“You are such a child, Bucky.”
Bucky just rolled his eyes and tried to pet the small ducklings. However, the mother duck was not having that and tried to pick at Bucky’s hand. It even started to flutter towards him. Bucky let out a scream and started running to Sam. “Help me, ahh. It’s trying to kill me. Sorry duck, I was only trying to pet your babies,” Bucky exclaimed. “I wouldn’t hurt them.”
Sam was trying his hardest not to burst out laughing. He noticed a couple of other people around him who were watching them. A few seconds later he just gave up and completely doubled over. He was wheezing and already feeling the weird looks he got from the people surrounding him. Tears started to form in his eyes and that was the first time the last few days that the reason for them was not him being sad.
Bucky finally came over to him, laughing as well. “They were so cute, I just had to,” he exclaimed, and before Bucky was able to say another word, Sam grabbed him by his hips and pulled him over to him. He let his hand sit on Bucky’ waist for a short moment until he realized that Bucky was staring at him, especially at his hand. Sam felt blood rushing into his head. He probably looked absolutely flustered and he noticed that Bucky was blushing.
“Anyways. They were cute and Steve loves, I mean loved, ducks,” Bucky said quietly.
After hearing Steve’s name Sam felt guilty again. Following that awkward incident, they quickly went back to Bucky’s apartment and never mentioned it again.
 3
Ever since Sam had left to go back to his flat in Chicago, Bucky felt lonely. He had never felt that way when Steve had left him to go back to Chicago or when his other friends visited. It might have to do with the fact that Sam was the first person who really calmed him down after Steve’s death. His parents and his sister tried their best, but they were still trying to process the fact that Steve was gone. Sam’s reaction to Steve’s death was different. It almost made Bucky a little angry, because how could he not have cared about Steve, but then he remembered that Sam hadn’t know him as well as the Barnes family. Sam might have tried to pull himself together because he had not wanted to cry in front of Bucky. The last couple of days Bucky had gotten to spend with Sam he understood what Steve had loved about him. Sam was kind, made him laugh and the best thing, he was honest to Bucky.
Bucky’s last relationships had not been exactly what he pictured. The last girl he had dated had been someone named Natasha, who he’d met through work. She was nice and pretty, but after a few months she’d told Bucky that she did not see a future with him. He wasn’t sad that their relationship ended, he was sad because it meant he was alone again.
Right then, he was sitting on his couch, watching his favorite tv show. Suits. The first time he’d watched that show he couldn’t decide whether he would rather sleep with Donna or Harvey. Seeing that he was a lawyer himself, he knew the series was nowhere close to being realistic, but he still liked it. Practicing law wasn’t exactly how he’d pictured it in college but still, it made him happy.
His thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing. He quickly grabbed it and smiled once he saw the name displayed on the screen. Sam Wilson.
“Hey, Bucky,” Sam greeted him.
Bucky felt his chest flutter but tried to ignore it. Sam was his forbidden fruit, but he already felt like Eva ogling the red apple in garden Eden. Apparently, he and Eva would share going to hell.  
“Hey Sam,” Bucky answered quietly.
There as an awkward pause.
“Something wrong?”
“Well, I don’t know if this might seem weird to you but yesterday, I was finally able to enter Steve’s room and was trying to sort his stuff and because he doesn’t have any family left, I thought you might want some of this and- “
Bucky interrupted him. “Sam, you are rambling. What do you want me to do?” he asked.
“I was just wondering if you might want to fly to Chicago and look through Steve’s stuff. Like, I know he would have wanted you to get most of his things. I understand if you are occupied with work but honestly, I don’t know if I’m ready to get rid of his things. It feels like I’m starting to forget him. I’m already starting to forget what his voice sounded like, and it’s starting to drive me crazy. And I know it’s a lot I’m asking of you and it is a shitty thing of me to cry to you about it, since he was your-,” Sam sniffed and before he could continue Bucky interrupted him again.
“To quote you, Sam: If you dare apologize for having feelings, I might throw you into your neighbor’s pool. Even though I don’t know if your neighbor owns a pool, but you get what I’m trying to say here,” Bucky could hear Sam laughing, although his voice was still a bit cracked. He sounded like he had been crying for at least a couple of minutes. Then again, Bucky would probably react the same if he’d had to sit down and sort out Steve’s stuff.
“I’m flying out to you tomorrow,” Bucky stated. He could hear Sam breathing. “You don’t have to if you have work to do or something else, I can get Wanda or Pietro to help me,” Sam said, guilt lacing his tone.
“No, you’re right. I should have thought about that earlier. It must be hard for you. Of course, I can help,” he assured Sam.
“Thanks, Bucky,” Sam replied.
“You’re welcome, Sam. I’ll text you my flight information.”
However, he did not mention that he was excited to meet Sam again. He was sure that the last thing Sam was worried about right now was finding a new boyfriend, and Bucky still felt guilty about even thinking that he had a chance with Sam. Sam had been Steve’s boyfriend and was grieving, and Bucky was selfish for thinking that Sam could like him that way.
Immediately after the phone call ended, he grabbed his laptop and started looking for flights straight to Chicago. Since it was on such short notice, the flights were way more expensive than usually, but he didn’t care about that.
The day he arrived in Chicago was rainy. The weather was characteristically bad, so he was glad that Sam had offered to pick him up from the airport. Once Bucky had grabbed his suitcase, he made his way into the arrival hall of the airport. He already noticed Sam from far away, due to the fact that the other man was waving like crazy at Bucky, which made him laugh. Sam was such a dork.
“Hey, I’m glad you made it. Thanks again,” Sam tried to carry Bucky’s suitcase, but Bucky pushed his hand away.
“I got it, thanks,” he still thought it was cute.
They walked outside to Sam’s car, talking about random things. Bucky noticed that Sam didn’t mention Steve’s name. He was probably waiting until they got home, and Bucky did not want to upset Sam any further, so he did not mention the deceased’s name as well.
Bucky could count on one hand how many times he had been to Steve’s and Sam’s flat. It was still weird to him that they did not sleep in the same bed. But after knowing Steve Rogers for nearly two decades, it was impossible for even him to sleep next to Steve. Whenever the latter had slept, he’d snored so loud that Bucky had been sure the neighbors next door could still hear him, so he did not blame Sam for having wanted a separate bed.
The flat had not changed much since the last time Bucky had been there. The walls were decorated with a lot of artwork - most of it done by Steve. While Bucky was not able to draw a straight line, Steve had been able to draw the most amazing things with only a pencil.
“You can keep some of them, if you want,” Sam commented and squeezed his shoulder.
“Yeah, that would be nice, but you should keep most of them. They’re in your home, anyway, so why should I take ‘em with me.”
Sam only stared at him in confusion.
“I guess I’ll move into a new flat once we are done here. It’s too big for me anyway. Might as well get another roommate,” Sam stated.
“Roommate?” Bucky looked at him “Aren’t you a bit old to live with a roommate?” he asked, seemingly confused. He knew Sam was nearly 3 years older than him and Steve.
“I am what?” Sam raised his eyebrow.
Immediately, Bucky felt bad. He was such an idiot. Sam had been living with his boyfriend for the last 3 years, of course he was going to feel lonely living on his own. “Nothing. Forget it. So, where did you put Steve’s stuff?”
Sam pointed to a couple of boxes that were lying in one corner of the living room. “I got rid of most of his clothes and furniture, apart from some t-shirts and hoodies. Thought you might want to keep some of these.”
Bucky’s eyes wandered to a green hoodie that was crumpled up in one of the boxes. He quickly snatched it and pressed it against his chest. It was the hoodie Steve had worn the day they had gotten their college acceptance. It even smelled a bit like Steve.
“You should keep it,” Sam mumbled, “I have so much of his stuff, and you have nothing and…” His voice started to crack.
Bucky felt helpless. He was trying to think of something that would make Sam feel better. The only thing he could think about right then was a hug.
He quickly wrapped his arms around Sam and pressed his chest against the other man’s. He could feel Sam’s breathing and heartbeat.
Sam started to calm down, still pressed against Bucky. They stayed like this for a moment until Bucky started to feel something. ‘Oh god’, he panicked. Not now. It had been a few months since he’d last had any physical contact and it was starting to show. Sam clinging and moving against him did not make things better. Bucky felt his face heating up and tried to think of a way to break out of the hug.
“You, okay?” Sam asked and quickly ended their hug. He’d probably felt something was wrong.
Bucky was still red and quickly looked away. ‘So much to not thinking about Sam in that way,’ he thought to himself.
“Yeah, everything’s alright,” Bucky just knew Sam had felt it. However, he was glad that he didn’t mention it. It was already awkward enough for him. They continued to look through Steve’s stuff and neither of them said another word.
“I am glad you are here, Bucky,” Sam whispered after a while.
“I am really glad you called me,” Bucky responded. It was going to be okay.
  4
“What movie do you want to watch?” Sam asked and started zapping through Netflix. It had been a couple of months since Bucky’s visit to Chicago, but he and Sam had been in contact with each other nearly every day. Bucky had started to slowly crawl into Sam’s daily life, but he did not mind it. Quite the opposite. The more he talked to Bucky, the more Sam caught himself thinking about the way Bucky smiled and laughed. The way Bucky’s eyes lit up when he talked about his work or his cat, Alpine. The cat was cute. Sam remembered Bucky finding her near the trash cans in the backyard of his flat and the moment he’d seen her he’d known that she was supposed to stay with him. Just like Steve and Bucky used to do, the two chose at least one time a month to meet up with each other. That month it was Sam’s turn to visit Bucky.
Right now, they were sitting on Bucky’s couch. Bucky was on his phone trying to figure out what he wanted to eat for dinner. Alpine was cuddled against Bucky’s chest.
“I don’t care. Chose something you want to watch,” Bucky answered Sam’s question. He stroked Alpine’s white fur. The cat snuggled closer to Bucky and purred. Sam could not blame her. Bucky’s chest did look comfortable.
“Okay, then.”
It still took Sam more than fifteen minutes to find a series he wanted to watch.
“Have you decided on what you want to eat?” he asked Bucky, who was still scrolling through his phone.
“No,” Bucky let out a groan. “They have so many options. How am I supposed to choose? I want fries and sushi and pizza at the same time,” he exclaimed.
Sam laughed. One of the many things he had learned about Bucky in the last couple of months was that Bucky loved food. It was close to being an unhealthy obsession.
“Well, how about we just get something small of everything and share?” Sam offered but Bucky did not seem convinced.
“Sam, I don’t want to share,” he pouted.
“Okay, well, that’s your problem. I already know what I want to eat,” Sam crossed his arms and leaned back against the couch. It was comfortable and probably cost more than Sam’s monthly salary. He had learned that Bucky was a corporate lawyer, which explained how he was able to live so close to Manhattan. It also explained the amounts of money he was able to spend on food. The first few times, Sam had tried to split the bill, but Bucky had always protested. Sam had stopped trying after that. It was sweet of Bucky, and Sam wondered if that was the way Bucky had treated Steve as well. The more he got to know the other man, the more he caught himself falling for him. He knew it was wrong, and that Steve would probably hate him for feeling that way - he even hated himself a little bit for it - but he couldn’t change his feelings. He tried his best not to get too touchy with Bucky, but he failed sometimes.
“I want pizza.”
Sam looked at Bucky. “Are you sure?”
“Yep,” Bucky started to scratch Alpine’s belly, and the cat purred in response.
Sam shrugged his shoulders. He knew that Bucky would probably change his opinion once the pizza was here, but he still called the pizza place and ordered.
45 minutes later the doorbell rang, and Bucky stood up to answer. Alpine looked up in confusion once she noticed that Bucky was gone and started walking towards Sam. After looking at him, she decided he was worthy and cuddled against his chest. Sam patted her.
“Oh, this is so cute, I need to take a picture,” Bucky had returned with two large pizza cartons and a smaller one containing some garlic bread. Sam smiled, but the second Bucky got his phone out, Alpine jumped up and quickly walked away.
“Stupid cat,” Bucky mumbled. It was almost like she heard him because she turned her head and hissed at him.
“Great, now she’s mad,” Sam sighed.
“She’ll get over it. Here’s your pizza,” Bucky gave him his carton and settled down to eat his own pizza.
“By the way, my sister wants to finally meet you,” Bucky said after a few minutes. It didn’t take him long to finish his pizza and he moved on to the garlic bread.
“I can’t wait to meet her. Steve used to talk about her all the time. He really loved her like a little sister.” Sam didn’t know Becca personally, apart from that short meeting at Steve’s funeral, but back then hadn’t really been the right time to get to know her better.
“Yeah, he really did. She is our little sister,” Bucky mumbled, a sad undertone present in his voice. Sam wasn’t going to lie, he thought about Steve a lot, but whenever he visited Bucky or got a message from him, the thought of his best friend was pushed a little bit further back in his brain. Every time he caught himself doing that, he felt guilty. Guilty for starting to forget the way Steve’s voice sounded, for getting a smaller flat because he couldn’t stand continuing to live in the same flat, he used to live in with Steve and mostly, guilty for slowly starting to fall in love with Bucky Barnes.
He wondered if Bucky sometimes forgot about Steve, too, or if Sam was just a horrible friend. He didn’t have the courage to ask Bucky about it; he did not want to lose the closest thing he had to a best friend since Steve.
They continued to watch the series. After a while, Alpine came back from wherever she had hidden. She settled into the crook of Bucky’s arm and looked into Sam’s eyes. He almost felt caught by her. He did not really like cats; however, he made an exception for Alpine.
Shortly after the movie, Sam noticed that Bucky was snoring. He was leaning against Sam’s shoulder, Alpine still lying on him.
Sam caught himself watching Bucky for a few seconds. He looked so cute and calm and the way he was resting against Sam’s shoulder gave him goosebumps. His skin looked so soft, and Sam had to fight with himself not to touch his cheek. He decided to close his eyes for a few minutes as well.
The next morning, Sam noticed something furry on his nose, tickling him. He sneezed and opened his eyes, only to look at something white. He tried to push Alpine away from his face and started to look around. He remembered falling asleep on Bucky’s couch. He noticed that somehow during the night, Bucky had shifted and was now laying on Sam’s chest. Sam’s arm was wrapped around Bucky’s torso. He tried to shift without moving too much but failed. He looked at Bucky’s face and noticed that the younger man was still sleeping peacefully.
‘Great and now I have to pee’, Sam thought. He ran his other hand through Bucky’s hair. It was as soft as he imagined. A few minutes later Bucky’s eyes fluttered, and a pair of blue eyes started into Sam’s.
“Morning,” Bucky said with a rusty voice. It took him a while to notice that he was lying nearly on top of Sam.
“Have you slept well?” Sam asked.
Bucky nodded and stared at him so intensely that Sam briefly thought he was going to kiss him. However, Bucky quickly sat up and rubbed his eyes.
“So anyways. Do you want some breakfast?” Bucky changed the topic, already half up off the couch and on his way into the kitchen.
Sam stared after at him. ‘What the hell was that’, he thought but shook it off and quickly followed Bucky into the kitchen.  
 5
Today was the 6th month anniversary of Steve’s death and Bucky’s day had already started out shitty. Firstly, he’d nearly missed his alarm clock, then his client had stood him up for lunch and finally he’d managed to spill his coffee all over himself and had to ask his assistant to get another one. He was currently sitting in his office, staring at the framed picture in front of him.
It was a picture of him and Steve when they were younger. He still could not believe that Steve had been gone for 6 months. It felt like yesterday to him how he’d called Steve nearly every evening to talk to him about his boring day.
The only thing he was looking forward today was that he was finally going to see Sam again. Thinking about the dark-haired man made him smile. The last time Sam had visited had been kind of weird. That one morning, they’d woken up all cuddly and Bucky had nearly kissed Sam. Thank God, he’d caught himself in the last moment. Sam would have probably thought Bucky was a horrible friend, and Bucky refused to lose his newest friend to something as stupid as a little crush.
He probably felt like that because the last time he’d had sex had been back when Steve had still been alive. Yeah, that was the most reasonable explanation as to why he could not stop thinking about Sam’s lips and his toned arms. He quickly looked back at the file in front of him. It was a case about a holding company that was trying to sell one of their firms they owned. It was boring, to say the least. He tried to get it done as quickly as possible.
Finally, a few hours later, Bucky was able to close the file. He looked at his clock; it was 20 past 7pm already. His eyes widened. He was supposed to meet up with Sam at 7pm at his flat. He pulled out his phone and noticed that he had a missed call from Sam and a few text messages.
 Barnes, you there?
Buckyyy
Where are you, man?
Okay, I am just going to let myself in, I know where your spare key is 😊.
 Sam had added a bunch of random emojis, and Bucky smiled. Of course, he knew where Bucky’s spare key was.
Bucky packed up his things, bid goodbye to the colleagues who were still in the building and made his way home. He was pretty sure Sam was comfortable enough in the flat to entertain himself, so Bucky ended up picking some food on the way. Thai. It was Steve’s favorite food.
As he opened his apartment door, his hands full of takeaway boxes, he could already hear the TV. Once he entered the living room, he could see Sam lying on his couch. Alpine was sitting on his lap and Sam was cuddling her. It was adorable.
“Hello, person who does not live in my home,” Bucky said and walked over to place the food on his couch table.
“Well, I decided I do now.”, Sam exclaimed. “Your cat likes me better anyways. Isn’t that right, Alpine?”
The cat snuggled closer to Sam.
“Traitor,” Bucky whispered. But he was glad that Sam liked her as much as he himself did. They were a package deal.
“What is that?” Sam pointed to the food boxes.
“Food, duh. Thai. It was Steve’s favorite,” Bucky said. After mentioning Steve’s name, he noticed how Sam tensed up. Bucky decided not to comment on it; instead, he sat down next to Sam and started opening the food boxes.
“Fuck,” Sam whispered and ran his hands over his face. “I can’t believe it’s been 6 months already. How has he been dead for 6 months? I feel like it was yesterday that I talked to him, we were planning a trip to California this summer. We wanted to take my nephews to Disneyland. There were so excited and devastated when I told them we could not go anymore and cried when I told them why.”
Bucky felt his heart aching. He knew Sam had nephews.
“I’m sorry, Sam,” Bucky said and put his hand on Sam’s shoulder, squeezing it in reassurance.
“I still cannot process that he really is gone. Some days I forget that he is dead, just for a short moment, and then reality hits and I feel like I just want to fold myself into a corner and cry. He was my best friend.” Bucky looked down and noticed that Sam had started to sniff.
“You know, I still get nightmares about the day you called me,” Sam admitted.
Bucky saw a single tear roll down Sam’s face and he quickly wiped it away with his sleeve. The man next to him looked so small and vulnerable. Bucky wanted to hug him so badly.
“I always wonder what would have happened if I had been with him. I should have made sure he’d take his inhaler with him. God, I am so sorry, Bucky,” he started to sob.
Bucky froze. It was the first time Sam cried in front of him. He felt helpless, the only thing that he could do was try to comfort him.
“It’s okay, Sam. It was not your fault. Steve was an adult, he should have known better than to not carry his inhaler with him, even if he hadn’t had an asthma attack in more than 10 years,” Bucky tried to calm him down, but that made Sam even more upset.
“I was supposed to look after him, you trusted me to look after him-“Sam was starting to hyperventilate.  
“You did, Sam. You did. It was not your fault, and it wasn’t mine either. It was just a stupid, terrible thing to happen, but it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Please stop trying to blame yourself for his death,” Bucky shouted. Apparently, this was the only way Sam understood he was not responsible for what had happened to Steve.
Sam stared at him, not being used to Bucky raising his voice.
“I’m serious, Sam,” Bucky said again.
“You are way too good; do you know that Bucky?” Sam said with a weird mixture of laughing and crying. “God, I still miss him so much.”
“I miss him too, Sam, but Steve would have wanted you to move on with your life. He would have wanted us to live the best life we could possibly have. And I know that sounds harsh but please don’t blame yourself.” Bucky wasn’t sure if his words were what Sam wanted to hear. He would either think that Bucky was a total asshole for thinking that he should move on this quickly after his boyfriend died or he would agree with him.
“Yeah, you are right. He would have wanted me to move on. He would have wanted that for you as well, Bucky,” Sam answered quietly, and the next thing Bucky knew he was pressing his lips against Sam’s.
 + 1
Sam felt Bucky’s lips pressing against his own. At first, he was shocked that Bucky really was kissing him but after a few seconds he returned the kiss. He pulled Bucky closer to himself and started moving his hand to the other man’s neck. Bucky groaned and started to move closer to Sam.
It was everything Sam had dreamed about for the last couple of months and if Bucky was ready to move on from Steve, Sam was ready for that as well. They continued to kiss for a while, none of them saying a word. The sound of them kissing was the only one heard in the apartment. Sam was already starting to slip his hand under Bucky’s t-shirt when Bucky suddenly pulled away from him.
“No, no, no-,” he exclaimed and looked at Sam, both their lips slightly swollen from their kissing.
“This is wrong,” Bucky whined.
Sam could almost hear the crack his heart made the second Bucky stopped their kiss. Of course, he thought it was wrong. Steve and Bucky had been together for more than 5 years or maybe even more, obviously, Bucky wouldn’t move on so quickly.
“God I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, Sam,” Bucky looked at him with blue eyes and Sam wanted to kiss him again, so badly.
“Sorry, I just thought that… you’re right, this is not fair to Steve. God, I’m a horrible person, Steve would hate me,” Sam whispered ashamed.
“No, I’m the bad friend. I kissed you. I kissed my dead best friend’s boyfriend. I’m pretty sure they have a special place in hell for people like me,” Bucky let out a groan.
Sam looked at him confused. What the hell was he talking about?
“I was his what now?” he asked and stared at Bucky.
“Boyfriend, partner, significant other, I don’t know what you called each other, but I’m pretty sure that if there was one rule for friendship it’s that you don’t make a move on your friends’ partners,” Bucky gestured between Sam and him.
“This shouldn’t have happened,” he was out of breath and pushed his hair out his face. His cheeks were starting to get redder.
“No,” was the only thing Sam said at first. “You’re his boyfriend”, he continued and pointed at Bucky.
“Huh?” Bucky replied, still confused.
“No, you are. He always talked about you and he visited you nearly every week and-,” Sam was starting to ramble, but Bucky interrupted him.
“You two were living together?! I thought you were his boyfriend, what was I supposed to think? I didn’t assume two grown men would be living together as roommates,” he exclaimed.
“Hey,” Sam felt offended.
Bucky quickly noticed the way Sam looked at him. “No, that’s not what I meant. It’s just…I thought you were his boyfriend.”
“No, I’m his best friend,” Sam answered, this time a bit louder. What the hell was going on?
“No, I’m his best friend,” Bucky mumbled, still trying to process what had happened in the last few moments.
“Wait. So you’re not in a relationship with Steven Grant Rogers, and you never were?” Sam asked slowly.
“No,” Bucky answered, though it sounded more like a question. “I mean we used to when we were teenagers, but that’s nearly a decade ago.”
“And you’re not in a relationship with Steve either, right?” Bucky added and looked into Sam’s eyes.
“Nope, and I never was.”
There was an awkward silence between them until Bucky asked Sam, “So, the last few months you thought I was grieving my boyfriend, while I thought you were grieving your boyfriend?”
It was the thing that made Sam crack. He started to laugh. Loudly. He even started wheezing, tears forming in his eyes.  
“I cannot believe this. That little shit,” Sam cried out. “He never corrected me when I referred to you as his boyfriend. He knew exactly what he was doing.”
Finally, Bucky busted out laughing as well. “We’re so stupid. We could have just asked each other but instead we just assumed that the other was the grieving widower.”
Sam could feel the way Bucky was staring at him, trying to figure out what to say next. Sam, on the other hand, knew already what he was going to do next. He got closer to Bucky and kissed him again.
This time Bucky didn’t hesitate and pushed himself against Sam. “You know,” he mumbled between kisses, “We could have done that way earlier.” The complaint was evident in his tone.
“Better late than never,” was the only thing Sam answered before he kissed Bucky once more.
And somewhere out there, Steve was looking at them, smiling to himself and thinking how much of an idiot both of his best friends were.
Feel free to leave any comments or any suggestions for improvement!
Thank you so much for reading my first ever English written One Shot! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. I'm really looking forward to writing more Marvel fanfiction, especially Stucky and Sambucky.
much love, your local stucky shipper xx
 ***
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Who We Were Then: a The Society fanfiction
The people of West Ham often forgot that Allie Pressman and Sam Eliot were cousins. Actually, the people of West Ham usually forgot about them period. If they did think about them, it was only ever as Cassandra’s sister and the deaf kid, not as actual people. But Sam and Allie had grown up together, they were cousins, they understood each other in a way that no one else could. Sam knew how Allie both loved and hated the relative safety of Cassandra’s shadow, knew how easily her parents overlooked her in favour of their perfect, and sick, eldest daughter. Allie knew how Sam felt like his parents never saw beyond his deafness and sexuality, and just how terrified of his brother he really was. But they weren’t just cousins — after all, Cassandra and Campbell were their cousins too. No, Sam and Allie were best friends and had been for their entire lives and that? That changes everything.
Welcome to my The Society fic series, City Is A Graveyard! Who We Were Then is the first of five fics in the series, and it’s a pre-canon AU in which Sam and Allie are best friends as well as cousins! Basically, it was born from me going (and I quote) “Listen you’d can’t give me a traumatized teenager with sibling issues and imposter syndrome and a traumatized teenager who’s gay and deaf and have them be family and expect me to care about anything else ever”, especially when you throw in Lord Of The Flies on top of that!
Rest assured, Becca is still the iconic best friend we know and love (to both Sam & Allie), Will is still one of Allie’s closest friends, Grizz is always everyone’s favourite, and we’ll still have plenty of pre-Hallie goodness (leading into full Hallie in later fics), but I was disappointed by how few fics I could find that really explored the Pressman-Eliot family, so here we are!
I will eventually make introductions for each fic in the series (and hopefully I’ll get to writing it soon), but here’s a breakdown of the plan for anyone who’s interested
Who We Were Then — pre-New Ham, some of Sam and Allie’s childhood but mostly focused on their junior year leading up to getting on the busses in 1x01; pre-Hallie & Grizzam
Fear Can’t Hurt You Anymore Than A Dream — no New Ham AU, where the students come back from a camping trip and the world is exactly as they left it, will follow the end of their junior year into senior year; eventual Hallie & Grizzam
Maybe There Is A Beast (Maybe It’s Only Us) — canon AU, the kids get off the busses in New Ham, exploring how a closer bond between Allie & Sam (and how that changed their junior year) would change the events of the show; still eventual Hallie & Grizzam
It Sounds Better Than It Is, This Business Of Surviving — post canon, the kids make it back to West Ham and have to find a way to return to ‘normal’ after everything they’ve been through; Hallie & Grizzam
We Are The Kids That You Can Never Kill — post canon, the kids make it back to West Ham only to find that everyone who died in New Ham woke up back in West Ham at their exact time of death, now they all have to return to ‘normal’ surrounded by people they’d mourned and people they’d killed; Hallie & Grizzam
I’m very excited about this project and will definitely be trying to make more edits & posts about it (and hopefully writing it lmao) so if you’d like to be tagged in anything for it, feel free to let me know!
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